#i really feel like if i get this job i’m going to be mansplained to a lot & that was the goal of this process. to prepare me for that

[otakubimbo]

Mansplain

Miguel isn't good at flirting, but that should be obvious shouldn't it?

 Miguel’s first attempt at flirting with you was actually the first time the two of you met. He had arrived in your dimension because there was an anomaly there, but by the time he had appeared, you had just finished capturing the sandman anomaly. He was impressed, to say the least by your skills. The way you webbed through the air, you were graceful yet powerful. It was as if nothing could stop you, the calculation of your attacks the sandman didn’t stand a chance. He barely even registered your speed as you came down in front of him.

“And you are?” You ask viewing him with reasonable wariness, you could tell that he was at least somewhat like you.

“I am the head of the arachno humanoid poly multiverse” He states matter of factly as if you should have already known that. The sentence almost makes you giggle.

“So, you mean the spider people multiverse” You take your mask off, shaking your coils out now realizing that he’s probably not a foe and really is just like you. “That’s cute”

At that Miguel almost becomes a stuttering fool if he could even speak, you were beyond beautiful. Your smile gave a brightness that could rival the sun.

“Well, that could be said in layman's terms but I’m more technical.” He finally gets out after feeling like he wasn’t able to breathe, de-digitizing his mask so you can see his face. You giggle at that; he was very handsome but he seemed a bit awkward. Miguel knows that he may never want to hear anything else besides that for the rest of his life.

“Yeah, I see that so what are you doing here, in my universe?” you question, putting a hand on your hip. You had already assumed it was for whatever you just took down, he kept calling for people that you had no clue about.

“Well, if you must know,” He begins “This is a sandman anomaly which seems to not be a cannon event in your universe. And it is our job as the arachnoid humanoid poly-multiverse group that take care of these types of situations. This is why I am here to take this one back, so the multiverse does not collide. It is essential to keep the universe safe” he goes on and on about the society he created.

His appearance didn’t give the type of man to ramble on like this, but. The idea was actually something that you wanted to get behind and when you questioned if you could join, Miguel thought his heart would stop. He assumed he was wooing you with his words but truthfully, you just had a big heart, and it broke yours to think about the loss of other universes.

And that is how you ended up in the spider society, working extremely close to Miguel because once he found out that not only were you a skilled spider fighting wise, but you were also absolutely brilliant. You had such a mind for science that rivaled his own and your enthusiasm had him captivated when you talked about the research you were doing on society’s behalf.

Everything about working for the spider society brought you joy. Expect, for one thing, Miguel. At first, you thought working with him was going to be amazing. He was smart and driven, you could tell his passion from the moment you met him. But now every encounter with him is insufferable. Any given moment that the two of you are working on something he always makes a note to mansplain everything, as if he didn’t himself ask for your assistance. Initially, you thought it was just adjusting to working alongside someone else; everyone in the society was surprised that he even asked for your assistance. As time went on though, it was as if he doubted your intelligence which pissed you off and confused you since he would constantly ask for your opinion or assign you tasks that he would usually take on himself. Every task he assigned you was completed expertly, and every repair he asked you to manage, was done efficiently. And yet, when it came down to you working on things he would make his way over without fail to over-explain everything to you. You didn’t know how much longer you were going to be able to take it.

Now here you were eating lunch with Jess, rubbing your temples from the headache that Miguel gave you earlier from explaining how the multiverse works AGAIN.

“I truly don’t know what his deal is, Jess” you groan putting your head down on the table hoping the cold metal will relieve some of the tension from your head. “Why ask for my help if he is going to micromanage me the whole time?! And according to everyone, he doesn’t even ask people for help so why ask me?!? Next time I am just going to tell him to do it himself.”

Jess just giggles at your frustrations, causing you to groan. She was finding humor in your suffering. The two of you had grown close to each other since you first entered the society, Jess seemed to be one of the few people Miguel put his trust and faith in which wasn’t surprising at first until you saw how he interacted with everyone else. He held her to such a high regard, and you felt lucky to work with her. Now the two of you were friends since she was always the first one you went to complain about Miguel and your friendship blossomed from there.

The two of you enjoy the rest of your lunch together, leaving the frustrating topic of Miguel behind. It helped you calm down a bit, he really had been working your last nerves with all his commentary on your assignments. But you were going to stick to your word, the next time he had something to say you would just tell him to do it himself. And now you are working diligently on fixing some of the watches that other spiders have damaged. They were easy fixes that most spiders could have done on their own, but Miguel has designated you to be the one who fixes them. He claims it is to ensure that it was done right, but who knows? Everything was going well, up until your last one when your Spidey senses told you that someone was standing in the doorway of your lab and all your other senses screamed that it was Miguel. As you resist the urge to audibly groan at his presence, you continue with your work as if he wasn’t even there. You wish you had worn your headphones instead of just playing music from your speaker so you could really ignore him but you weren’t that fortunate. Your spine tingles as you feel him approach you, attempting to think positively that maybe he won’t over-explain how to fix what you’re working on as if he again wasn’t the one who made you the go-to for all gizmo repairs.

“Hey, you know…..” He starts and it’s as if you see red, he begins to explain how to fix the damn gizmo that you were literally already fixing. In frustration, you slam your tools on the desk standing up quickly, surprisingly this takes Miguel back almost making him stumble.

“What the hell is the point of assigning me shit to do if you’re always going to come in and explain to me how to do it like I already don’t fucking know how to do it.” You almost yell, gritting your teeth, and your face scrunches up in frustration.

“What” he asked, a stupid stunned expression on his face as if he hadn’t done anything wrong and couldn’t even imagine why you were upset.

“Literally every single time you assign me anything or I do anything here you are to explain to me how to do it. What is the point of assigning me shit Miguel if you’re just going to come and tell me how to do shit every single fucking time? Just do it yourself then, stop asking me! It’s like you don’t even trust me!”  At this point you were yelling, talking with your hands, and most likely making a scene that any spider with sense would stay away from. You were absolutely heated, and Miguel just looked at you wide-eyed and confused. “Why the fuck are you looking at me like that?!?!”

“Because I don’t know what you’re talking about. I trust you more than anyone, that’s why I ask you to do all of this.” Miguel speaks softer than you think you’ve ever heard him which quells your anger a bit and now you’re confused.

“Then why do you always come and try to explain everything to me then?!?” Your voice is lower than before but you’re still slightly yelling.

“Well because”

“Because what Miguel”

He looks almost…. Nervous? You don’t think you’ve ever seen him nervous before. Yeah, when you first met him he was a rambling mess but you just assumed that was just the adrenaline speaking, ever since then he’s been this calm, collected, calculated man who despite his instinct to explain things to you, you may have grown fond of him.

“I do trust you to do your job. I wouldn’t give you the task if I didn’t think you would be able to accomplish it without my assistance.” He deflects from your question, which starts to bring back up your irritation.

“That doesn’t answer my question, Miguel. I’m so close to just going back to my universe and being done with this honestly.” Your frustrated threat makes Miguel even more confused about what is going on. He thought you liked being here, he thought he was impressing you with his knowledge.

“I was trying to impress you” He states matter of fact as if it was obvious.

“Impress me?? What???” Your temper is still up, and it comes out harsher than you mean it to because now you’re the one confused.

“I was attempting to show you my knowledge and understanding of things. You know to impress you and show you how intelligent I am” he gives a huff in a really cute pouty way for a man his size, and this confession brings a smile to your face as you start being thrown into a fit of laughter.

“I don’t see what’s so funny about any of this.” His voice is stern, he is obviously upset at your laughter, arms crossed over his chest in frustration. He was cute, he was too cute and now all of it was clicking for you. Miguel O Hara had been trying to flirt with you, in the worst way imaginable. “Has it not been obvious how fond I am of you?”

You catch your breath, as your laughing fit subsides, “No, Miguel you were actually really pissing me off.”  He frowns at the realization that his attempts at flirting have actually been doing the opposite of its intended effect.  “I know you’re smart, you literally developed most of this technology by yourself. There wasn’t anything you had to prove to me.”

“Well I-“Miguel stutters, the great Miguel O Hara stuttered. “Well, then how was I supposed to show you?”

“Show me what”

“That I am fond of you.”

“Fond of me, you mean like you like me?” Your head tilts in the most adorable way that has Miguel flustered, the brown hue of his face getting deeper as a blush crept up his neck.

“Obviously”

“Not obviously actually.” You smile gently at him, thinking about all the times you have been so frustrated with him, and he was just trying to flirt with you.

“Well then how would I show you?” He asks genuinely, more awkward than you have ever seen the confident man.

“You could ask me out on a date, you know like a regular person.”

“Okay, so would you like to go on a date with me?”

You smile at him, and Miguel thinks his heart just stopped, “Yes Miguel I would, just tell me where and when” He does a curt nod, not knowing exactly what to say as his brain racks for ideas on where to take you turning around to leave your lab.

“Oh, and Miguel, by the way,” you stop him before he can “You don’t have to try and impress me, you already do.”

And the way you smiled at him after saying that he had to do everything to hold his composure as the stoic man he has tried to portray himself as but he can’t help the small smile that graces his face at your comment.

……

“You’re really gonna go out with him?” Jess asks the next time the two of you hang out, as you tell her about your last interaction with Miguel.

“Yes, yes, I am. You don’t understand, he was so cute when he was telling me that he was trying to impress me. He even BLUSHED.”

“Such a 180 from wanting his head on a spike” she chuckles.

“I know I know I know I know. But really you don’t understand how cute he was after I basically did put his head on a spike.”

“I could have told you that he liked you”

“And why didn’t you?” You huff, crinkling your nose at the fact she let you sit here frustrated with that man’s behavior for MONTHS.

“Eh, not as fun” she laughs at you, while you roll your eyes at her.

[cowboyjen68]

Hello Cowboy Jen! I was wondering if you had any advice for me

Here’s the situation- I’m a young lesbian (I’ll be 17 going into college) and I’m going to study geology. I’m assuming my classes and later on my work environments are going to be mostly men since geology is a male-dominated field. Any advice for being in spaces without very many women? And picking a different field’s not a very good option either, geology’s been my obsession since I was five and I doubt I could give any other field as much attention and focus.

When I was DEAD SET on being in the DNR or a Forest Ranger or some kind of Park worker I was in my tweens and early teens. I loved the idea of working with people and animals and outside and getting to use my hands and my knowledge of land and history. Then some Jack Ass at the Corps of Engineers station I volunteered at told me women couldn't really do the job right and it was too dangerous and I lost confidence. I stopped going and didn't reapply for the Mayor's Youth Parks program I had worked at for two years. I just left the idea behind. I see now all the older women park rangers that are around and read stories of women like my current boss who was a naturalist for years in our county. I work at a nature center almost entirely staffed by strong women with the exception of the CEO, the marketing guy and one outreach guy. If I had seen any of these women in my teens i would have said "heck yeah women can do this".

You are going to be that leader, that beacon. That is a thought to keep in your pocket on hard days.

The truth about working with men is, in general, they don't really care and they kinda just feel awkward. They lack social skills around women so they end up saying the dumbest stuff. I am not saying men can't be total pains in the ass or feel threatened by you being around, they absolutely can. At the end of the day we are all human and women are 50% of the population so at some point they have dealt with women in class or at a job.

Mostly just start off with giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. Saying stupid stuff to try and be funny is not the same as harassment or hate. If you don't feel offended or insulted or threatened don't try feel like you are because you think you are supposed to be.

Look them in the eye, do listen to those who have good things to share, teach or discuss. Don't dismiss men for being men. Just as many humans, they want to share what they know and tell you what they have learned. I have been taught so much by the men I work with at the farm but I had to tell myself to listen and not just paint them in my brain as being bossy or mansplaining.

Don't shy away from questions when you need help. Ask when you need to ask and thank them for helping when they do. If you are interrupted by them say "I am not finished, please wait your turn" or something similar. Stand up for your right to share what you know or to get more information when you require it.

Basically, think of men as neutrally as possible until one proves he is to be avoided or ignored. Listen to your gut if you feel unsafe or degraded and keep notes on that behavior. If you must, tell your professor or a dept head if you feel like the bad actor will continue or possible endanger you.

Once you learn your trade you can recruit other women and share your love of your job/degree and some day it will not be more men than women around you!

[obstinaterixatrix]

I recently got my first office job where I am interacting with my coworkers regularly. do you have any evil conversation skills that you think i should learn first

1. Figure out the easiest/most comfortable ways to say the whole spectrum of soft no’s to hard no’s from a scale of ‘genuine regret (invites future attempts if scheduling allows)’ to ‘polite deferral (respectful and evasive, somewhat firm)’ to ‘stone-cold shut down (professional Fuck You)’; you gotta know them all and you gotta be able to deploy them as needed. or at the very least, you gotta know how to give yourself time so you don’t automatically say ‘yes’ when you don’t want to.

2. The easiest way to make a good impression on people is to balance being useful and making others feel useful, which means offering some of the specific knowledge/insight you have and also asking for/acknowledging the knowledge/insight of others. offering/asking can be a weird balance, sometimes for some people in some contexts it comes pretty naturally, other times I find myself parsing out one (1) resource bit by bit to gauge whether someone’s actually looking for it or if it’s received in a lukewarm way. If ‘useful’ can’t really be a selling point at the moment (e.g. starting with zero experience rather than having an established knowledge base in a new environment) then you can always swap out ‘useful’ for ‘interesting’. know a charm point you have that can hook other people’s interest, know how to find and highlight other people’s charm points. If you want a mutual relationship it’s better to make an effort to share equally (for some people that means intentionally holding back, for other people that means intentionally speaking more), but if you’re just trying to coast it’s usually easiest to keep turning the conversation back on them and track topics the other person can get chatty about (pets, kids, shows, how they’re doing, etc).

hang on those are too reasonable and not evil but I’ve typed it all out so I’m not deleting. so, there’s a bunch of worksheets about ‘rules for fighting fair’ and if you ever meet a coworker you fucking hate then you wanna take those rules and do the opposite of all of them in order to have an on-purpose bad faith conversation and to make it as miserable for everyone as possible

1. If the coworker you hate is trying to talk about one specific problem, disagree with whatever their definition is and refuse to compromise

2. Bring in as many stupid tangential asides as possible so their original point gets buried

3. If you want to be legit evil, always imply or directly state that whatever they’re going through is a personal problem and a Skill Issue

4. Always find a way to vaguely disagree with your coworker. If they have a good point, say ‘Well, no, it’s actually like [basically rephrasing their point]’; you can either be subtle about this (negging) or blatant about this (The Mansplainer)

5. There’s a limit to how disrespectful anyone can be as a new employee. Find that limit and keep just short of it.

6. Always deflect and blame someone else, or if there isn’t someone to blame, have different excuses at the ready for anything that anyone might take issue with.

to some, evil communication skills is to win. but I think the most successful (insufferable) application is when the point is to make everyone as miserable as possible. I’m not trapped here with you, You’re Trapped Here With Me. also I wouldn’t actually recommend doing many of these things if you want functional working relationships. but it’s good to keep in mind if you’re ready to go nuclear! but more seriously, I do think these are important evil communication skills to learn because if you recognize someone using them against you, it gives you the chance to make strategies based on their behavior. 1. If someone is disagreeing with you any time you try to express a problem, shut down the conversation and reengage with a mediator that will be fair to you; 2. if stupid tangents keep showing up, it’s up to you to be the terrier with its teeth sunk into the mailman’s leg; etc. anyway this has gone too long and someone else should probably be giving more legit advice

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

No Business Like Show Business | Part Five

Series Summary: you work backstage at a theatre and become close with the star of the show (who you may also have a slight crush on)

Pairing: James McAvoy x reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: none? a bit saucy maybe but nothing worthy of a warning... 

A/N: Feel free to substitute James for any actor of your choosing. Also, spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :)

Part Four | Masterlist

- - - - -

I can’t believe its been two weeks since James and I started our secret relationship. Yeah, its frustrating having to sneak around but its also kinda exhilarating. Still, I’m looking forward to being able to go out on a proper date with him. 

There’s only a couple of weeks left until the show opens and I’ve still got SO much left to do! Lets just say, its difficult to concentrate on props work with James around… 

— — — — 

James spends a lot of time hanging out with you in the props room. Any chance he gets between rehearsals, costume fittings, press interviews… he’s there. Sometimes he helps you out, finding things off shelves for you or assisting with actually making things. Sometimes you help him run through lines. But more often than not you get distracted and end up kissing like a couple of love sick teenagers. 

Other than Vera, who you trust enough to tell everything to, no one else knows about you and James. Thankfully most people seem to have forgotten about the coffee shop scene. Occasionally one of the many creeps with cameras, that are constantly hanging around outside the theatre hoping for a glimpse of James, will try to question you as you walk by. But mostly they ignored you now. You were old news. 

Anastasia however is still on the war path, convinced you’re trying to steal her man from her, despite the fact that James has made it very clear they are not and will not ever be together. You try to avoid her as much as possible, but when you do see her around the theatre she glares at you with such a look that you're glad looks can’t actually kill.

You even get to the theatre earlier now than you’re required to, knowing that you’ll be able to check in and get to your props room before Ana has even entered the building. It sounds silly, but you just can’t be bothered with the drama. 

You flash your ID badge to security and begin your journey through the theatre, bumping into Alan on the way. 

“Oh Y/N! You’re here early aren’t you?” 

“Just trying to get ahead on all the work thats left to be done” you laugh awkwardly as you continue walking past him. 

“Actually Y/N, I’ve been meaning to talk to you but I can never seem to find you around. I noticed you haven’t been to watch a rehearsal in a while?” 

“Like I said, lots to do-”

“Yes well, I think it would be really helpful for you if you came along to see how the props are being used.” He interrupts and you have to fight not to roll your eyes at him mansplaining your own job to you “We’re doing a full run through of both acts today, I expect to see you there.” 

He doesn’t wait for to you respond before walking away. You let out a deep breath, half annoyance and half dread of having to actually face Anastasia. 

— — — — 

The other bonus to getting in so early is that you actually have a chance to get some real work done. As much as you love the time James spends with you, you were starting to get slightly worried at how behind you’ve got. 

About half an hour before the rehearsal is due to start you hear the sound of someone tapping in the security code to your door, your signal that James is coming in. You weren’t technically supposed to have told him, but since its only ever him or Vera that make the journey down to the basement you figured it was safe. 

“Good morning beautiful” he says as he enters, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead as he drops his backpack to the floor. “How are you this fine morning?” 

“You’re extra cheerful today” You say with a laugh that doesn’t quite match the expression on your face. James notices. 

“You’re not.” He sits next to you, placing his hand on yours “What’s wrong?” 

“I’m just tired” you smile a small smile. 

“Don’t tell me you’re still getting here stupid early to avoid Ana?” He says and you just give him a guilty puppy look “Y/N! You're going to make yourself ill if you don’t get enough sleep. Come on, you can’t hide from her down here forever.”

“No you’re right, I can’t. Alan is forcing me to attend the run through rehearsal today so I’ve got no choice but to suffer her murderous stare all day.”

“Yeah she is good at the bitch face, I’ll give her that.” James laughs.

“Its not funny!” You say, despite laughing yourself “it’s actually quite scary being on the receiving end. I’m worried one day she’ll substitute the rubber prop knife for a real one and stab me with it.” 

“Now that would be good publicity…” 

“James!!” You laugh as you go to playfully push him. He grabs both your arms, pulling you onto his lap and holding you tightly. Your back against his chest as you both laugh. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I’d never let her hurt you…” he keeps one arm wrapped  across your stomach as his other hand comes to your face. He turns your head gently so he can look you in the eye. “I’d never let anyone hurt you.”

He dips you to the side slightly to give himself room to lean down and kiss you. When he eventually leans away, he pulls you back up into him and keeps you snuggled against him a little longer. 

“What are you thinking?” You break the comfortable silence after a few minutes. 

“Just wishing I could take you on a proper date. Go outside of this basement.”

“Oh, is my basement not good enough for you eh?” You joke as you remove yourself from his arms and get up. He catches your hand and spins you back so you're now facing him, pulling you back down so your straddling his lap. 

“I’m fed up of hiding. I want to show you off to the world.” 

“Thats a scary thought” you admit, draping your arms around his shoulders and hiding your face in the crook of his neck. 

“Is it?” He asks and you just nod “talk to me” 

“It’s just, you have so many fans. What if they don't like me? What if they think I’m not good enough for you, or pretty enough or-”

“Hey” he says, stopping you mid spiral as he gently puts his hands on the sides of your face and moves you so he can see your eyes “Stop that okay! Look at me.” He lifts your head slightly higher making you make eye contact with him. “I don't care what anyone else thinks or says, it doesn’t matter. You are more than enough. You are perfect.”

You give him a small, teary eyed smile before kissing him again. He pulls you in deeper, one hand on your back and the other on the back of your head, his fingers entangled in your hair…

— — — — 

The morning went by far too fast and now it was time to head to rehearsal. James tried to persuade you to go walking in there hand in hand with him, but you made him go ahead alone. As much as you would have loved to see the smug look wiped off Anastasia’s face, you couldn’t risk Alan turning around and threatening to remove you from the team again. 

You got to rehearsal about five minutes after James, and to your relief you found Vera was already there. You took a seat next to her and she eyed you suspiciously. 

“What?” You laughed awkwardly.

“Have you been to a new hair stylist? Maybe a certain hunky scottsman..?” She looks up at your hair which you instantly start smoothing down. 

“Is it that obvious?” Trying to sneakily comb your hair down with your fingers as you glance around the room. Thankfully no one was watching. 

“No, if I didn’t know any better I’d have thought you were just a bit windswept. Blame the weather dear.” She winks and turns her attention to her notebook. You glance over at James and catch him watching you. He playfully copies you, running his hand through his own hair and you raise an eyebrow at him, shaking your head with a smirk. 

“Here comes trouble” Vera’s voice pulls you away an directs your attention to the door. 

When Anastasia enters the room the atmosphere changes. Everyone seems more on edge when she’s around and she knows it. And you can tell she loves it, having that kind of power over people. Alan of course is the first to rush to her side, making sure she’s okay with everything. Her eyes trace the room as he talks, glancing at every single face until she lands on yours. Immediately she turns and walks over to James, draping her arms over his shoulders and pretending to be a part of the conversation he was already having with another cast member. He turns his face ever so slightly to look in your direction but is pulled straight back by Ana who fake laughs in his face at something he said. 

Its like watching a car crash happen in slow motion. You want to look away, but you just can’t help but watch. 

— — — — 

The first act of the rehearsal went well and annoyingly Alan was right. Watching did really help you understand what you needed to change so that some of the props would work better. You wouldn’t admit that to his face though. 

Thankfully once they started acting Ana seemed to completely forget you were in the room. Up until the end of the final scene of the act, when she made eye contact with you right before leaning in to kiss James’ character. Even after the director had called the end of the scene, she gripped onto James and you could tell he was trying to pull away. She laughed it off after, claiming she just ‘really got into the scene’ but you both knew why she really did it. You deserve an Oscar for how well you hid the disgust from your face and managed to fake laugh along with everyone else. 

During the break you headed into the kitchen to make a coffee. A moment later the door swung open and James poked his head in and checked his surroundings before coming inside and sneakily locking the door. He came up behind you, pressing himself into your back as his arms snaked around your waist. 

“You survived the first act” he jokes and you laugh “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine are you?! I thought she was going to suck your face clean off at the end there.” 

“Ugh don't put that image in my head.” He pretends to gag and you both laugh. You turn your self around in his arms so you're now leaning against the kitchen counter and facing him. “The only person I want to suck my face off is you.” 

“Ew, James!” You say a bit too loud and he gently puts a finger to your mouth, shushing you but laughing too. “You're gross” 

“Yeah, but you love me” he winks, moving his finger so he can instead press his lips to yours. 

The sound of someone walking past the door pulls you both back to reality and he pulls away slightly but brings his hands down to lean on the counter behind you, boxing you in. 

“Come to mine tonight?” He asks “If I can’t take you out on a proper date, then let me cook dinner for you at my place instead.” 

“Are you sure? What if someone sees?”

“They won’t, no one knows where I live.”

“But what about-” you start, but he cuts you off. Reaching behind you for a biscuit which he places in your mouth, making you laugh.

“Shut up and trust me.” he smiles playfully, taking another biscuit for himself before turning and unlocking the door. “I’ll text you my address. See you later beautiful.” 

He blows you a kiss and leaves before you have a chance to say anything else. Vera enters just after, immediately bursting out laughing when she sees you still with a biscuit hanging out your mouth. 

“You alright there love?” She asks as you remove the biscuit and place it on the counter next to your cup of coffee.

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine. Better than fine…” you say, feeling butterflies flutter in your stomach. “I’ve got a date.” 

taglist: @halfofwhatisayismeaningless @internetgremlin-reads @blahblahblah0987654321 @mcavoy-girl @username21mk @hehehehecigcigcigcig 

[carnivorousyandeere]

I still don’t really understand DnD mechanics but I’m so excited to inflict this group of yans upon ye all. Still planning on the CYOA main story thing, but figured there’s not really harm in writing some lol blurbs with them and accepting some asks in the meantime. After all, the CYOA will take a lot of time and energy (that I don’t currently have 💀) to set up.!Don’t want to spoil their player characters just yet, but I’ll spill some details about their irl personalities—

One of them is a very loud, determined, earnest kind of gal. She’s a liiiiitle bit of a herbo, with her mile-wide idealistic streak clouding her judgement at times; but the rage that follows breaking her worldview is just as strong. She’s pretty easy to rope into the less savory activities of the other yans in the group despite her desire to be good. Incredibly protective of their Darling, and encourages the other players to consider your feelings more as the DM. Despite this, she’s not the best at seeing others’ point of view (even yours) and has a hard time creating and role playing as characters too different from her. As such, most of her characters are self-inserts.

One of them is a very sleepy, unassuming kind of person. They’re very soft-spoken, with a calm demeanor— though they look cutely grumpy upon waking, like a cat. Their characters are the most varied, genuine, and creative, with lots of thought put into their backstories and personalities. Usually sad backstories. They have the most creative ideas, if extremely brutal ones, both in-game and in real life. They do fall asleep a lot, even during the campaign or when spending alone time with you. It’s impossible to tell when they’re asleep or when they’re faking it just to hear what you might say in their “absence.”

One of them is a huge goofball who tries not to wear their heart on their sleeve, and does a poor job of it. The sound of your laughter is their raison d’etre. They do have a habit of committing to the bit too hard and going too far at times. Sometimes they feel bad, but sometimes your annoyed expression only eggs them on more. Loves to push the limits and boundaries. Most of their characters are joke characters of some variety that they get ideas for online. Most likely to get their ass handed to them by one of the other yans in the group for being annoying (on purpose).

One of them is… unfortunately, a mansplainer. A real rules-lawyer. He constantly grumbles about the other player characters not following the official DnD guidelines, but suffers through it (rather insufferably, I must say) for your sake if you allow it as the DM. The most serious and dedicated to following your instructions and advice. The most particular about the ways that the group follows you around and such. He’s not a “leader” of the group by any means, but sometimes they’ll listen to him because he’s cautious and has good ideas for how to avoid getting caught. Always plays a similar archetype of character as a kind of wish-fulfillment. Most likely to get his ass handed to him by one of the other yans for being annoying (on accident).

[littlemisssunshineshair]

entry #5

i am anxious and stressed because a film i’m working on for school is shooting a short scene tomorrow and my cinematographer is flaking on me. when i said that i would ask another friend to do it because he already agreed to do so many other projects, he insisted to do my film. i’m producing and directing and editing this film and it’s stressing me out so much because everyone’s films are filming at the same time and it’s hard to get a solid crew or cast because my school doesn’t give us a schedule for Intermediate Directing and just shoves us into filming like “good luck! figure it out!” when we all have to rely on each other.

anyway, i set the call time tomorrow (for crew) at 12:30 pm and my cinematographer tells me that he’s going to be late because he’s going to the gym with another friend. that’s it. that’s the reason. he can’t bother to cancel his plans to be responsible and follow through with what he signed up for. i’m so upset. i’m so pissed at him. like, are you that self-centered that you can’t cancel plans to go to the gym for a school obligation? are you serious right now?

he also lives with me and i can’t stand him anymore. he is the most self-centered, spoiled, inconsiderate man i’ve ever met in my life. like, i’m sorry your parents cater to everything that you do, pay for your expensive splurges on taylor swift merch and your whole life. get a job. i don’t trust people who don’t have jobs. they are always so spoiled and inconsiderate and irresponsible. you’re 20 years old and you’ve never had a job? you’re a privileged little dickhead.

ugh why did i agree to let him be my cinematographer? i knew he would do this. i knew he would be selfish and flake on me. his dad also owns a gymnasium at this church and i asked to use it this sunday and his dad said that his son (my cinematographer) needed to be there the entire time. then he has the nerve to say, “i can’t guarantee i will be there.” why? because you have something better to do? he always ditches me and my other friends because he’s obsessed with a guy friend of his, D, and follows him around like a dog. he 100% would flake on me to hang out with D because he’s a little shit. i’m so mad. i can’t believe some people. they literally think the world revolves around them.

i’m going to fire this man. i want to tell him off so bad because of how selfish he is and how much he doesn’t deserve to work with me or any other female director he praises and know will make him look good because they are talented. it’s not all about you. also, i saw how he treated a female director and he was so awful. he kept overstepping and tried to direct for her to the point when he was confusing the actress because the director was telling her to do one thing (allowing her to actually act) and he kept giving her conflicting directions. you’re not the director. stay in your place. ugh, men in the cinema department always do that shit with female directors and there are so many talented women in my class that want to be directors and so many men in the department overstep and take away opportunities from women because they’re so used to the world revolving around them.

i’m just gonna ask my female friend to be my cinematographer because she wouldn’t fuck me over like that and women are easier to work with (just saying as someone who wants to be a director and happens to be a woman). women can be a breeze to work with because they listen and don’t look down on you. don’t get me wrong, i’ve also worked with some good men who aren’t misogynistic and really helped me bring my vision to life without overstepping or mansplaining. my guy friend who was my cinematographer for my last film was awesome and i’m forever grateful to him for putting so much effort into each and every shot.

anyway, i feel better after ranting and thinking about good male friends who were awesome to work with. some men really do suck though, and they never realize it because they’re too self-centered. hopefully i figure something out for tomorrow.

[iwadori]

Why you and the haikyu boys broke up (Atsumu,Oikawa,Kageyama,Kenma,Akaashi,Sugawara)

Part two: Osamu, Iwaizumi, Daichi, Ushijima

Genre:angst

masterlist

Atsumu: “god yer so clingy and annoying”

You and Atsumu have been dating for years and every year was worse then the last. Atsumu became more distant and standoffish as your relationship progressed.

“‘Tsumu, where were you said that you’d be back by-“

“Gosh Y/N, just leave me alone, I don’t need you doting all over me like your my mum or something” he said harshly making you flinch

“Well I wouldn’t keep acting like your mum if you weren’t being such a child, you dick”

“God Y/N, yer so cling and annoying”

That was the last thing he said to you, well the last thing you heard, since after that you were gone. You definitely didn’t care for Atsumu anymore and you definitely didn’t care about his mutiple messages and calls asking begging you to talk to him.

You were done and you silently asked yourself the question “who’s the clingy and annoying one now ‘tsumu”

Oikawa: “If only you supported me like she did then..”

You and Oikawa, the classic ‘highschool sweethearts,’ with him being the athletic trailblazer with you at his side through it all, always known as “Oikawa’s girlfriend”

Being known as that, at first you didn’t mind, since being attached to the Oikawa name in any aspect was something to brag about (especially when you’re a teenage girl.)

But as you got older you didn’t want to be just somebody’s “girlfriend,” you wanted to be Y/N The doctor or Y/N the lawyer, journalist or whatever.

And Oikawa wasn’t particularly fond of the idea.

As the time went on, with you now studying and preparing for your new found dream job (which you were over the moon about.) Oikawa became unbearable, late nights out, always hiding his phone when you were about, he had this odd scent about him one that was different to usual.

He was cheating on you. You knew it, but since there was no physical proof and because you loved him so much accusing him of such a thing could ruin everything.

You didn’t need too though. Since one night, when Oikawa was supposedly meant to be at an away game. He was away, but in someone else’s pants... in your bedroom.

After being caught he pleaded for you to hear him out and when you wouldn’t he said “if only you supported me like she did then I wouldn’t be cheating on you”

That was definitely the final straw, you became the best doctor that Japan had ever seen, and you didn’t know what happen to Oikawa and that girl.

You may of heard through the grapevine that she definitely cheated on him a month into their relationship, but what do you care anyways.

Kenma: “gosh y/n I’m not your therapist”

Kenma and you were childhood friends before you started dating. You were two peas in a pods.

You worked perfectly as you being the talkative one always talked and him being quiet just always listened.

That’s how you worked and it was fine, right?

Well of course it wasn’t, well at least till when you were a few years into your relationship it wasn’t. Kenma was obviously a popular gamer and kind of a businessman, he wasn’t as free as he used to be and neither were you and you both knew that.

So when you did have time to hang out you most certainly made the most of it, doing what you normally did: you talk, he ‘listens.’

Even though Kenma wasn’t listening anymore, who knows when he stopped listening but he probably hasn’t heard nor cared for a thing you’ve said since you were 5.

“Gosh Y/N I’m not your therapist” he said after you were telling him about a terrible day you had “ I don’t even know why we’re still together, or together at all... “

“Fine, if that’s how you feel I’m gone”

“Wait Y/N I didn’t mea-“

You slam the door blocking out the rest of speech which you didn’t need to hear since obviously ‘you aren’t his therapist.’

Akaashi: you’re just too much of an idiot too understand.

When you and Akaashi met, it was in one of your classes, and you first noticed him when he was answering in a question in class.

Hot and smart was what you thought when you first laid eyes on him

What you didn’t know by the time you got together was that ‘hot and smart’ translates to the biggest patronising mansplainer ever.

Akaashi has a way of belittling you and dumbing you down, you didn’t know why he was doing it. Heck, you didn’t know he was actually doing it until he actually said “you’re just too much of an idiot to understand.”

The other times it was subtle, but obvious enough to leave you sad and uncomfortable afterwards questioning every aspect of yourself.

One night, you don’t tell him what your doing, you pack up your crap leave the rest of the months rent on the kitchen counter along with a note saying ‘I’m breaking up with you,’

You knew that sooner or later that day you’d get a text from him and you did which read:

Akaashi: what do you mean I’m breaking up with. Why ?

Y/N: oh I guess you’re too much of an idiot to understand.

Kageyama: you don’t work hard enough Y/N

You were dating the best setter in Japan. It always felt surreal when you said that to yourself, or when someone said that to you.

Since ‘how could you’ get ‘someone like that.’

That was the question that many people asked, since of course ‘Tobio Kageyama was only worth the best of the best,’ and to them you most certainly wasn’t that.

You got comments like that all the time online, but you didn’t care but one time you were scrolling through Twitter and so a post about you and the comments were all talking about your body.

This crushed your heart, as the comments they were making were vile so this definitely hit a tough spot.

When Kageyama came home and saw your distressed state he rushed to your side to see if he could help. However once you showed him what you were crying over, his tone of voice changed as he said,

“They aren’t wrong Y/N, ever since we got together you’ve definitely not really been looking after yourself lately”

“What is that supposed to mean” you retort

“ I mean, you don’t work hard Y/N, you don’t work at all... as of lately you’ve just been bitching and complaining and mooching off of my success whilst you let yourself go.”

Ouch.

“If that’s how you see me, then so be it” you say gracefully standing up and exciting the building. You were done with Kageyama and you both knew that, there was no going back after what he said, especially since you could tell he was thinking that for a while now.

Sugawara: your not the girl I fell in love with

Sugawara and you were described as the “perfect couple” by people that didn’t know you. Which you always faked a smile a compliment, knowing certainly well you weren’t.

You’ve loved sugawara ever since you met him in your first year. But you knew, you always knew he didn’t love you back.

Kiyoko Shimuzu, her name was. A pretty name for a pretty girl. All the boys were in love with her (some more vocal about it then others) but sugawara even though he wasn’t shouting his love from the rooftops, you caught the looks of adoration he gave her when she was simply walking by.

You dated him anyways, maybe he could sense your desperation or maybe he needed a distraction. You didn’t know why he decided to ask you out and you didn’t care, he was yours and you finally ‘won.’

Well you were winning up till you got a certain invite in the Mail:

You are invited to the wedding of Tanka Ryunnsoke and Kiyoko Shimuzu.

Even though sugawara looked happy at the idea of his two dearest friends marrying, you could tell he was heartbroken. And he knew that you knew.

That is why, on the day before the wedding as you were packing your bags to go, it turns out he was packing his bags too. But for a completely different reason.

“I’m leaving” was all he said at first heading for the door.

“Where? Why?” You aksed

“You know why Y/N, you’ve always known why And itll do more harm then good if we keep this charade up any longer”

“But I love you” you cried latching on to him

“And I love you, but you were not the girl I fell in love with and I don’t think that love will ever stop”

You knew he was right and you let him go, crying over your one true love.

An: I kinda heavily like this one, (maybe because it’s hard to write on my phone and this style is definitely not what I’m used too so I’m appreciating my efforts.) what do you guys think ??

ALSO MY PHONE WONT LET ME DO READ ORE AND ONCE MY LAPTOP WORKS TOMMOROW I WILL DO IT SO SORRY!!

Taglist[bold can’t be tagged]: @sakuxxi @iimoonii @hamdehlesmis @Shoyosupremacy @meadowsinjapan @iambashfulperson

[titfairy]

ogay but - 

the idea of Robin proposing to Nancy is so cute because like - she'd be nervous as hell and ramble nonstop and stressed out and overthink about how, when, where she should propose

They’re in their late 20s now and they’ve been together for years. Right after they started reconnecting again a few years ago when Nancy moved back to Hawkins after finishing college. 

("Relax, the moment will come," Steve says, reassuring when Robin can’t stop rambling about 101 things that could go wrong.)

He helps Robin plan a dinner, a fancy one. "It's gotta be special, it always works." Steve says again. His usual 'girls like this and that' speech that always gets Robin to roll her eyes. I mean if it always works why Steve is still single lol

The night comes. Robin picks Nancy up at her workplace (she finally learned how to drive). But Nancy looks exhausted. She keeps venting about work. Being a journalist is a stressful job. Something something about her boss not allowing her to pursue a story.

"You know what, you need a good rest tonight," Robin says, cancelling the plan, heart kinda sinks just like the ring in her pocket. Not the right time

She doesn't propose that night.

But Nancy gets busier and busier, the way she's so focused when she's pursuing something. It's actually one of her quality that Robin admires so much, so she doesn't want to disturb Nancy and just offers to help whenever she can. 

Until days. Weeks. Almost three months later. Nancy finally got that story published even got  a promotion.

Robin picks her up as usual, and Nancy can't stop gushing about how well everything went. Also telling Robin about how her super annoying colleague who can't stop mansplaining things reacted to the news, "You should see Greg’s face," Nancy says, eyes twinkling. 

“Greg’s a wreck,” Robin mutters playfully. They laugh together in the car on the way home.

Until they finally arrive, still joking and laughing around. “Ugh finally,” Nancy walks into the house, all relaxed. She takes off the coat and puts in on the sofa, then proceeds to casually talk about what kind of food they need to have for celebratory dinner and if Robin has any movie recs to watch tonight because she just want to enjoy the time. 

And what if it just hits Robin that this whole things feels so… right?  Like having Nancy there in their place doing the most mundane thing together. The right moment.

Then suddenly Robin is already on her knee in front of Nancy, in the living room of all places - shoving her hand to her pocket and just - nervously trying to get the ring, hands shaking and all

“What are you doing?” Nancy is confused.

“Just - wait,” Robin is nearly trembling at this point. Until her hand finally reach the ring and she whips it out, firmly holding it on the tips of her fingers like her life depends on it. “I know that this is not ideal. But really, I’ve had this in my pocket since like forever and I don’t know how to do this thing, I mean I asked Steve and he said that I should wait for the right moment and he even suggested that I take you to a fancy restaurant and I did book some places but you were busy and you don’t even like Italian food but they’re the only fancy restaurant in this town, so -”

Robin stops a bit to take a deep breath. 

“So I’ve been carrying this every single day just waiting for the right moment. And this is probably lame and like, so underwhelming because this isn’t a fancy restaurant or some other fancy place but still. It just feels so right,” Robin says. “We feel so right.”

And Nancy probably just stands there for a while in silence, just watching Robin with this fond expression. Until she finally laughs and Robin doesn’t know how to react to that.

“Is this a... no?”

“No!” Nancy says. “I mean yes! I mean it’s a no to your question but yes to everything else.” she adds when Robin’s face quickly drops. “It’s just that, I sorta remember you kneeling like this, but that was back then, and I’m sorry, it’s probably inappropriate to mention on moment like this considering what happened. It’s just, it’s you. It’s so you.”

And Nancy pulls Robin up to kiss her.

[spicyicymeloncat]

Crystalised part 2 ep13 spoilers!!

Here’s uhhh a reaction. Bc I was very excited. Idk here u go

Okay Harumi. Are they going to recontextualise her backstory or what

No? Okay she’s still blaming the teens who risked their lives for the crimes of a man she currently has employed under her

YO HER HAIR MAN ITS SO COOL

Also the fsm vs the overlord parallels

Wow he really said fuck you garmadon

I like how vulnerable and sad she looked. Need me emotional rumi. She’s got daddy issues

Man okay this time she’s doing it bc she doesn’t want to die. Ok yeah that’s an infinitely better reason than her misplaced blame on the ninja. I can watch the rest happy now

Insert meme of random civilians watching Harumi climb out from the ground. I assume this was just after Garmadon was defeated if the rubble is still there

Yknow I’m glad Harumi still has some morals. She doesn’t want the kid she died for to die after all that yknow

Okay nvm I think Harumi just got scammed. the overlord just made the most unconvincing argument for his case. I mean I can kinda see if the overlord said that something like the great devourer won’t happen again under his rule and Ninjago will stop being attacked , but like Harumi has lived through two of his attacks. I still think it would’ve been cool if the overlord’s attack in s2 which infected everyone was the pivotal incident for Harumi to say evil feels good. Then this would make sense also

CK: my first order is to build an army

Rumi: I’ve recruited…

Ck: No! *chucks a Lego box at her* build an army!

I like how Vangelis is like oh wow this girl who took over the world and DIED. But she’s giving me money so that’s okay

Did Harumi have inheritance stowed away or is she working ten jobs?

Okay vangelis is just flexing

I wonder what would’ve happened if Harumi and Vania met

SKULL SORCERER THEME HELL YEAH

Wow now everytime I rewatch s13 it’s with Harumi being right there. Watching Lloyd hatecrime other princesses because of her

God I love them. I’ve heard snippets of ppl thinking the comedy was misplaced but that’s what I’m here for I love silly moments like this. Generally I wanna see a Harumi and co vs Lloyd and co volleyball game. And Lloyd not getting sarcasm. Amazing

Oh man she’s foreshadowing Nya

Also what a call out at the ninja

Yeah cmon Lloyd she’s trying to be dramatic!

I can see why they put the Lloyd feelings in there. I mean he had to feel bad for her she just died. I hope he got therapy afterwards tho that’s hes probably got survivor’s guilt or something

Also using her own tactics against her go Lloyd you mansplain manipulative male wife!

MR F I LOVE HIM HE HAS AGUN GOOD FOR HIM

Look at mr f and his glorious eyeliner

[supercap2319]

The Prince and The Fairy

Pairing: Sky x Male Reader

A/N: This my first time writing x reader stories, so hopefully it’s not too terrible to read.

Y/N sighed as he watched kids his age walk around the courtyard knowing their intended destination. Y/N had no idea where he was supposed to go, and it was making him impatient and anxious.

He checked his phone for any missed messages. He had gotten one from an unknown number that said:

Meet Sky @ Alfea Gates

Now all Y/N had to do was find this ‘Sky’ character, and he could show him around the school. Simple right? If only it were. There were about a thousand students here, so anyone of them could be Sky. How would Y/N know which person was him?

Y/N pulled the red jacket Bloom had given him for his birthday tighter around his body. It was something they had always done. They’d get each other gifts with the other's favorite color. Y/N’s was blue, and his sister's was red.

Speaking of his sister, she was supposed to be joining Y/N today, but had gotten sick. Bloom would start at Alfea next week, so hopefully, Y/N could survive a week without his big sister. He wasn't so good with talking to people, especially people he didn't know, so making friends would be challenging.

Deciding to man up; Y/N chose a direction and headed towards it. Unbeknownst to the H/C young boy, he was being watched by another boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. He had been chatting with another student, but decided to follow Y/N instead. The blonde guy pushed past the brunette boy in the lettermen's jacket and walked towards Y/N.

“Wow. You are so lost.” Y/N turned towards the voice beside him, and saw it belonged to a handsome blonde guy with blue eyes. He wore a brown leather jacket over a pink shirt. “I'm impressed with your confidence in the face of complete ignorance.”

Y/N frowned at that. He wasn't ignorant. Just a little bit lost, that's all. Anyways, who died and made this guy king?

Y/N wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he just kept walking, and the guy just kept following and talking. “Issue is, you’re overcommitted,” the blonde explained. “I mean you're essentially running.”

Y/N stared at the taller boy wondering if he really loved the sound of his own voice. If Y/N was running, then this guy was ranting.

“And now that I'm here, you can't give me the satisfaction of turning around…”

“I don’t need help, but thanks,” Y/N said, interrupting the guy’s speech, before walking away from the blonde-haired blue-eyed boy.

The guy chuckles at that. Like what Y/N had just said was amusing, or something.“I don’t remember offering it.”

Y/N could sense that the guy hadn’t said it to be mean. He was just trying to hide his embarrassment. Y/N turned towards the blonde waiting to see what he’d say next.

“So presumptuous,” blue eyes said with a grin.“You must be a fairy.”

“You know where I come from that would be considered offensive to some people,” Y/N told him.

“And what realm are you from?”

“California.”

Blues eyes frowned a bit at that, obviously never heard of California before. It was kind of cute the way he made his face. Like a lost puppy or something.

“Oh, you're not from the Otherworld?” Blue eyes asked.

Y/N shook his head. “I’m not,” he confirmed.

“If you want your mind blown, three months ago I didn't even know the Otherworld existed ” Y/N said. “Kind of like Narnia, or Hogwarts.”

“Oh, are those places in your realm as well?” The blonde boy asked.

“Only at Universal Studios,” Y/N chuckled.

Obviously not getting the joke, the blonde guy decided to change the topic. “Um...if you are lost,” the guy began, before quickly adding “which I'm not saying you are, and you need my help, which I'm not saying I'm offering…”

Y/N chuckle at the blonde’s nervous rant. “Man, you like to talk when you're nervous don't you?”

Instead of answering the blonde blushed a bit, before turning around and pointed towards a big building. “This is the Specialist Hall.” Blues turned around and pointed to the building behind Y/N. “The Fairy Hall is that way,” he finished.

“Oh, the Specialist Hall. Obviously,” Y/N said sarcastically.

The blonde boy grinned. “Hm.”

Y/N giggled. The guy looked really handsome when he grinned like that. It made Y/N's heart skip a beat. It was a weird sensation, but he’d only ever felt warm towards his sister and his parents. Being around this guy made Y/N want to open up.

Across the yard, a blonde girl in expensive clothing watches the flirty banter between the two boys. She frowned at the sight, obviously not pleased.

“And I definitely know what a specialist is,” Y/N said, still grinning like a dork at the gorgeous blonde boy.

The blonde rubbed the back of his neck, still smiling. “Right. Sorry, I’d be happy to-”

“-Mansplain it?” Y/N guessed.

The guy shook his head. “No.” He smiled.

“Sure.” Y/N teased.

“Kinda seems like your thing,” Y/N told him.

The blonde licked his lips, and Y/N tried not to shiver at the sight, as the other boy opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by another boy’s voice.

“Quit perving on the first years.”

Y/N and blue eyes turned towards another boy with short brown hair. He wore a gray shirt, and a black leather with a gray hoodie.

“Riv, just give me a one second. Yeah?” Blue eyes asked the other boy. Y/N got the feeling they were friends.

“Why? You gonna chase him?” The brunette boy asked, nodding in Y/N direction.

Blue eyes turned to Y/N with a smile. Not wanting to get in the middle of friends; Y/N thought it’s best to end this meet and greet, and find his tour guide. “Well, it's obvious you guys have a lot to catch up on so, I guess I’ll leave you guys to it,” Y/N said walking towards the Fairy Hall.

“Wait!” Blue eyes called out.

Y/N turned, and was met with an outreached hand. “I’m Sky by the way,” Sky said.

Y/N stared at Sky in shock. What were the chances of him meeting a hunky blonde, who just so happens to be the person to show Y/N around. “Wait. Your Sky?”

“Yes, why?”

“My name is Y/N Peters. The person you're supposed to be meeting today.”

Sky grinned widened when he realized that Y/N was the person he was supposed to show around school. “Well, I guess I better do my job then.”

Sky turned to Riven. “I'll see you later Riv, after I help Y/N here.” Sky placed him around Y/N, and led him towards the fairy hall. The shorter boy blushed at the contact, and hoped Sky wouldn't notice.

Riven watched his best friend and the new kid walk towards the fairy hall, a smirk on his face. He had known Sky for years, and never thought that he’d be interested in guys. Not that he had a problem with it. He’d screwed both guys and girls, but preferred chicks more. The way that Sky looked at Y/N Riven could tell he liked him.

Stella was gonna have a fit!

[lady-of-lyon]

So, I made one post a while back about how awesomely feminist the show Wild Kratts was, with how its two main female characters were women of color in engineering and deserving roles of power, female villains who weren’t motivated by spite or quest for youth, etc, but today I wanted to talk about something slightly different, that I’ve wanted to cover for a while now, because I also think it’s very good - and that’s how the show portrays masculinity, in a way that’s really positive!

First, we have our two main characters, Chris and Martin Kratt. Keep in mind these two are basically self-inserts - and there are plenty of creators, especially males, who have used self-insert characters in really scummy ways - all I have to say is Powerpuff Girls reboot and you know exactly what I’m talking about. Even if they weren’t literal self-inserts, male characters, superheroes especially, oftentimes serve the male power fantasy, being just the strong, stoic, all-powerful person so many boys are told they’re supposed to be. I could get into a whole discussion about how the male power fantasy is present even when males are not (ever look through a fashion magazine and wonder why there are so few men? Sure, part of it is that the industry thrives off exploiting women’s insecurities, and men aren’t as concerned for their appearance, but another part of it is so that the guy, looking through it, can feel like he has no competition for these women - there’s a reason so many comedians have jokes about fashion magazines being their sexual awakening as kids. It’s really scummy) but that’s not what this is about. So, the bros had every opportunity to do just that - make themselves these traditional heroes who aren’t actually really good role models, like batman or what have you. It’s certainly not uncommon for celebrity cartoons to do stuff like that. But Martin and Chris chose a different approach. They’re pretty strong standouts for positive masculinity. They’re openly affectionate - both with eachother as brothers, and with their friends. They cry, sometimes over little things - most of the time when big superheroes cry, it’s ‘cause they lost the girl they loved or their mentor or something like that, only in the big, most agonizing moments do they shed a tear. But here, Chris or Martin will cry just because they’ve had a bad day, or because they’re overwhelmed and overjoyed that someone named a mantis after them! In a lot of shows or movies when a guy cries over something little, it’s usually played for laughs, or to emasculate him, but here it’s casual without being unreasonable or overdone. The brothers cry just ad much, maybe even more (haven’t gone back and counted or anything) as the girls do. Not to mention, it’s a very nice depiction of a loving, healthy sibling relationship. As the youngest sibling myself, it’s refreshing to see a pair who don’t abuse eachother with noogies or cruel and snarky remarks. When they do fight, it’s never a screaming match, and also because they had a conflict of interest or disagreed over a fact, not because, say, one of them stole the other’s shirt or is neglecting the other’s feelings. Kids, being very impressionable, get exposed to a lot of abusive sibling relationships played as normal in media, and start thinking this is how siblings are and should act. For instance, my sister (who is now my best friend and has gotten over all these bad habits over time) when she was younger watched a lot of Kim Possible, a show that is great, but has a bad family dynamic with Kim and her little siblings. The “tweebs” as she calls them are always irresponsible, destructive, and making Kim annoyed to no end. My older brother was one of the most polite, reserved, kind little kids, but she still treated him like he was a brat and a nuisance, because that’s what shows like Kim Possible taught her little brothers were. Additionally, I was always treated like a spoiled crybaby who just wanted attention and got away with everything - I was not any of those things, ever, but that’s what shows teach you little sisters are. Sure, Wild Kratts has a smidge of that, with Chris seemingly being the stereotype of the know-it-all little sibling, but instead of being constantly looked town upon for being too “perfect” like with Hailey Long in American Dragon, Martin often praises his brother for his abilities. Sure, Martin gets annoyed when Chris tries to correct him on things, like in the episode Wolf Hawks, but everyone else does too, so it feels more like a take-down of mansplaining than a sibling spat.

I talked too in the feminist post about how refreshing it is that Chris and Martin more or less willingly put themselves under the authority of Koki and Aviva, two women of color. I don’t think it’s possible to say any one character is the “leader,” they all work as a evenly balanced team, but it’s safe to say that Koki and Aviva make the more responsible decisions. The bros try to get out of their calls a few times, but the show plays it more like they’re being irresponsible, and less like they’re renegade cool dudes who don’t take nothing from nobody, especially not two girls. They are pretty much always punished via karma for their reckless choices, most especially in To Touch a Hummingbird, where their arrogant attitudes blow up in their faces rather spectacularly. We also never see the narrative most present in sitcoms, where the male leads mess up and go out of their way to cover it up and ultimately gets away with it - after all, you have to root for them, right, because sure they messed up and had no consequences, but aren’t they just so lovable? No, here Martin and Chris always have to fix their wrongdoing, and it’s always deserved when they get comeuppance. Another aspect of the show I like is that, many times, when the bros get captured or are in peril, they are saved by the women - and most refreshing of all, there’s never a moment of “wink wink nudge nudge wow I can’t believe I had to be rescued by a GIRL” or even “wow you saved me you’re pretty good honey guess I shouldn’t have underestimated you, you go girl!” No, when the girls save them, it’s just - you know, relief? Because they were saved? It’s never a scenario played as an exception, or any more dire than when the bros need to rescue eachother. The bros are genuinely happy to have them as teammates. The show even did the standard “boys vs girls” episode in the form of When Fish Fly - but instead of being actually girls vs. boys, it’s engineers vs. adventurers. There’s nothing really gendered about it - the girls happen to be engineers, and the boys happen to be adventurers. And the episode doesn’t end with the boys being “wow gosh darn I shouldn’t have doubted you girls are better at everything,” it’s a mutual agreement that both parties have hard jobs. Basically, the bros are very naturally respectful of women. That plays more into their feminist narrative too, but either way, it’s refreshing.

Then, we have Jimmy! Jimmy, the lovable gamerboy pizza man. At first glance Jimmy seems like the stereotypical cowardly, pathetic, emasculated loser. He’s frightened of most things, as of yet has no power suit, and he BAKES for crying out loud! But none of these things are framed as terribly bad traits. Sure, we laugh when he screams and runs from an animal, but though it happens over and over, the crew doesn’t get sick of it. They don’t berate him or belittle him because he’s so gosh darn cowardly. There’s a great scene in Rattlesnake Crystal where Jimmy has to deliver something to the bros alone, in the middle of a spooky desert. He is terrified the whole time, sprinting off after he delivers the goods. When Martin and Chris run into him, they don’t laugh at him for being spooked, they just greet and then bid fair well to their friend. To them, this is just Jimmy, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Jimmy isn’t coddled, but he is reassured many times that he’s a valuable member of the team. I love that little message, that you’re just as important of a person even if you can’t do as much or have greater limits. When his friends do try to get him over his fears, it’s not because they have to, that the day will somehow be ruined by Jimmy’s incompetence p, but because they’re his friends, and want him to experience fun and wonderful things that he would otherwise miss out on. But what Jimmy CAN do is just as important! Jimmy is a gamer, which in a lot of shows, is portrayed as a lazy, useless, mindless hobby. But here, because he plays video games, it makes him essential for piloting the ship and teleporting important items. There’s always the joke that video games improves your hand/eye coordination, but recent studies have shown it has much better effects. It can make you much better at keeping track of multiple moving objects and processing technical but variable information- two traits which, fittingly enough, are really really important for air traffic controllers and airplane pilots! He also demonstrates a lot more courage behind the wheel of the Tortuga, which makes sense - in an impersonal setting, he would have more sense of calm and control and courage, because it’s so similar to a video game world. It’s not all too different with how I feel more emboldened to pick fights with people on the internet, but get crazy anxious if a real person so much as looks at me. So Jimmy’s love of video games isn’t because he’s irresponsible, it has real benefits. A quick last point - Jimmy also eats a lot, but they thankfully don’t make him fat or greedy or anything like that. He never takes food from people, he actually bakes, and shares it with others! Having the baker be a boy is a lovely touch.

I might do another post about the toxic masculinity of the two villains, (or four villains, I guess, if I wanna discuss the minions) but I’ve got other work to do, and this post is long enough already, so I’ll get around to it later. I’ll sum it up with this - Wild Kratts is a show that teaches boys it’s not only ok to be kind, but essential. The brothers protect defenseless animals, advocate for things “icky” and “weird,” like bugs or snakes or worms - not because they’re boys, and boys like icky things, but because they genuinely see the beauty in all life, and are encouraging us to slow down and do the same. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world not by being the strongest or smartest or coolest, but by looking after those who are exploited and vulnerable, who are essential to the world, even if they can’t always do everything. In Wild Kratts the only weaknesses a man can have isn’t what he can’t do, but what he does do that he shouldn’t have. Sure, it’s a cute show about two funny guys who have cool powers, but it’s also a show about accountability, compassion, respect and trust. The show says “boys will be boys” in all the right ways - Martin is a lovable goof with a heart of gold, but he still has to get his act together when he messes up, and he’s still creative and smart and openly sensitive. Chris is a bit of a know-it-all show-off, but he can also mess up as much as his brother, and is still bold, brave, adventurous, and can put his money where his mouth is. Jimmy is a cowardly, napping, eating machine video-gamer, but he’s still a valued member of the team, has incredible skills and talents, and will always help his friends, even if he is really, really scared. It is so important to have role models like these, in a world dominated by unhealthy machismo. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world - both animated, and real.

All they need now is a canon queer character, and I’ll stan them forever! My money’s on Aviva!!

[piracytheorist]

I got bras-plained by the female owner of a clothing store today.

Like, I wear D cup. It’s not that big compared to other cases I’ve heard, but they are big enough to be annoying - and summer is coming, can’t wait for the nights I won’t be able to sleep without a loose sports bra on :) - and in need of specific kinds of bras.

First world problems, but sometimes I still mourn the fact that there was an underwear shop in my town when I was a teenager, and I wanted those cute Hello Kitty bras that they were selling - but they were only going up to C cup, so there was no chance they could fit me.

Fast forward a few years, and I realize any underwire bra feels too harsh and rigid for me, they don’t support them to my satisfaction, and that in the summer it even irritates the skin under the bοοb, and that I need straps at least 1.5-2 cm thick otherwise I’ll be feeling them cut onto my shoulders - so no spaghetti straps for me, and definitely no strapless shirts.

I also don’t really give a fuck about lifting my bοοbs. I wish I could free the nipple - the only problem is that they’re literal sacks by now, and it does get annoying for them to swing around when you want to do stuff. At this point, bras only serve practical purposes for me.

So, big bras, no underwire, thick straps, and secure support. The easiest solution I could find were sports bras. They’ve been much more comfortable, they cut me less, I finally feel like they support the bοοb and not that they’re making them cater to the male gaze...

And today I had a fucking shop keeper tell me I need to stop wearing sports bras.

Her size wasn’t as big as mine, from what I could tell. So it felt really... ugly. It felt like mansplaining, as if I don’t know my own fucking needs.

And it’s not that she just suggested it. I tried on a dress, and she said that sports bras do not compliment that dress, and I was like “Well they’re the only ones that fit me and are comfortable” and she insisted. “I wear a D cup” I said and she said “Oh well I know women with bigger sizes and they wear underwire! If you buy one from [underwear brand]-” and I immediately was like “The sports bra I’m wearing is from [the same underwear brand]” because it happened that the bra I was wearing at that moment was from that brand, to prove that sports bras can be good, AND SHE WAS STILL NOT SHUTTING UP. Like, shut the fuck up lady. Don’t give advice that people didn’t ask for, and if you are so keen to give it, give it and shut up if they rebut it.

Like, I know that “the customer is always right” is bullshit, but when the matter is concerning only the customer, you shouldn’t push. I wasn’t buying underwear, I was just casually trying on a dress. It was none of her business to “offer” advice about bras to a 27-year-old woman she didn’t know. And this is why the saying happened in the first place. Because that clothing store was actually really cute, and though they were expensive, I was actually contemplating putting some money aside to buy a good dress from them, but now that the owner was such a bitch, I was like, fuck it. You don’t deserve my hard-earned money. But if you knew where “the customer is right” applies to, you wouldn’t have lost a potential customer. Good fucking job.

[mrs-march-ahs]

Kai Helps You Find a Purpose

Summary- A blue-haired stranger helps you overcome the feeling of being lost after you quit your job. He seems fascinated by the rage in your body and shows you how to use it in an unconventional way.

Warnings- Murder, rape, knifes, blood, Kai Anderson. Words- 1.8k shorty:)

I’ve had this idea in my head for the longest time, so I really appreciate any feedback! I love doing my own ideas but if you prefer when I write requests then I wanna know! Enjoy! :)

---

You slam the glass door behind you as you exit your job. Well, old job. No matter how hard you work, your boss refused to see your potential and when you asked him for a raise for the final time and he said no, you gave him an ultimatum. And now you are left to walk out of your old job to the carpark with a backpack full of your belongings. To be honest, you hated that job anyway, and despised the sexist boss. He crossed a line by underappreciating your hard work, even after hours and constantly giving praise to the other fuckers who could barely make a cup of coffee. You walk over straight to his white Mercedes and pull out your pocketknife, hoping that in the dark of the evening nobody will witness your crime. As you squat down to the level of the front right tire and stab it powerfully with your knife, you can feel the feminist rage in your body deflate. After you do the front left and go towards the back one, you see a figure of a broad man standing at the front of the car, watching you. Although you saw him, his voice catches you off guard. And frankly, pisses you off too.

“If you slash all four tires then insurance will pay for it”, he states, assuming that you didn’t know that already. “Slash three”. The mansplaining makes you groan.

“Do I look like I need advice, asshole?”, you reply, rolling your eyes. Contrary to what you expected, the man stays stood watching you and laughs at your remark. When you push the blade from your knife particularly deep, you sigh in satisfaction, but fail to pull it out. You wriggle it around a little before looking up at the man.

“Are you gonna just watch me or at least are you gonna help?”, you ask, tugging at the knife.

“You don’t need my help”, he says quietly and ominously. “Use your strength, work smarter not harder”. The useless advice made you sigh in anger and push the knife in deeper, before practically ripping it out of the tire. He stands leaned over the hood of the car to watch you slash the tire, and smiles widely when you manage to do it by yourself. You stand up and look at him, and he stays smiling, and compliments you on your work.

“See? You don’t need help, you’re strong”, he whispers at you. You can’t help but smile back at the support and at the relief that he won’t snitch on your vandalism. When you take a step towards the curb to walk home, he puts his arm out to stop you and unexpectedly offers to buy you a coffee. You timidly say yes, but when he walks towards his car and opens the door for you, a red blinking alarm goes off in your mind and you kindly refuse to get in a stranger’s car. Although he laughs, he understands, and the two of you walk a mere 2 streets to a restaurant that he claims is owned by his friends. When the two of you walk through the front door of the packed restaurant and he asks for a table and instantly gets it, you have no reason to not believe his connections. You sit awkwardly across from the stranger who introduces himself to you, before praising you on your inexcusable actions.

“It takes a lot of strength to notice when you’re not being appreciated, it takes even more strength to just slash his tires instead of slashing his fucking throat”. His words are so serious that you don’t question how he knows what happened. “What do you want to achieve?”

“I want to make the world a better place in any way I can… I volunteer at soup kitchens all the time… dog shelters… I know it sounds horrible but no matter what I do, it doesn’t feel satisfying or like I’m achieving anything”. He exhales in amusement and you defensively expand.

“It’s like I’m waiting for some good karma to come to me, but all I feel is guilt because I’m doing good things for the wrong reasons”. You look down and swirl around your coffee with a spoon as you wait for him to judge you. All you felt was guilt, you wanted to be a good person and you knew you shouldn’t wait for good things to happen to you just because you’re volunteering. He puts a finger under your chin and makes you look at him. His big black eyes hypnotize you and you wait anxiously for him to speak.

“You need to put your rage towards something good. Anger doesn’t help anybody, but I saw today that you are capable of rage”, he coaxes you quietly. “A strong rage can be used as unlimited energy and shouldn’t be wasted, but put towards something useful… what fills you with rage?”

“The sexism at my work”, you immediately respond. “None of my male co-workers get harassed on the job. They don’t get told to smile or unbutton their shirts for tips. They get raises that they don’t deserve. As long as that keeps happening, I will always be filled with rage”.

The blue haired man hums in agreement and smiles at you. “That’s a solid source”. He drinks the end of his coffee and offers to drive you home.

When the two of you sit in his car, he proposes that instead of going back to the motel you lived at, you come over to his and the two of you could share a drink.

“No, I’m sorry. I need to go home and scream into my pillow”. Although you laugh after saying that, Kai doesn’t.

“What are you achieving with that? That’s like working hard to get money for gas, just to pour it down the drain”, he scolds you and raises his voice with every word. “You have this rage; we’re going to use it for something good!”, he shouts.

“Yes, but how!”, you reply, and watch Kai take a few turns before driving around the same couple of blocks a few times. You sit silently and hope he’ll explain the plan, but he doesn’t, instead he slowly drives down the streets, carefully inspecting the alleyways. Finally, when a short hum escapes his lips, he pulls his car over and points towards an alleyway on the other side of the street.

“Look what’s happening”.

You narrow your eyes trying to see down the dark alleyway and unbuckle your seatbelt to lean over closer to Kai. A man down the side of a building is stumbling slightly with a gun in his hand, pinning a woman against the wall and forcibly pulling her clothes off, only for her to try to push him away.

“Wait… is he uh-”

“What is your feminism fuelled rage telling you to do?”

You look Kai dead in the eye and his black eyes and clenched jaw silently ask you whether you’re willing to do what it takes. Saying that you want the world to be a better place means jack shit if you’re not ready to singlehandedly protect your sisters and put your rage towards making the world cleaner and safer. Not tomorrow, not in years to come, but now.

Without another second of thought, you jump out of the car and run to the alley, Kai following closely behind. Kai grabs the drunk man by the shoulders and rips him off the wall, allowing you access to push the woman out of the alleyway and onto the street, letting her immediately start running. The drunk attempts to fight Kai, throwing hard punches that all miss. Not wanting to steal your spotlight, Kai throws the man into the wall, letting you take out your feminist rage on his face. You put your hands in his hair and grip tightly, repeatedly smashing his face into the brick wall, leaving instant blood stains and scratches. Hopefully, a lifetime reminder of the scum he is. In order to save him the disgust of having to look at himself in the mirror, you drag his face along the wall, hoping that the cracks in the wall will be enough to leave his face bleeding.

“Work smarter; not harder”, Kai reminds you.

You release the man from your grip and watch him stumble and lean against the wall for support, giving you enough time to take your pocketknife back out and plunge in straight into the mans crotch. As he sloppily yells in pain, Kai grabs the gun out of his hand and throws it over a fence, just in case he gets any ideas. The intoxicating high of seeing this rapist bleed and cry in pain gives you one last kick of confidence, which you use to twist the knife in his ball sack before ripping it out. Kai stands watching you, smirking and almost hard, listening to the beaten-up motherfucker pant and sob. Kai pushes you out of the way and shoves him to the ground one last time, before grabbing your hand and legging it to the car.

When you sink to the car seat, trying to catch your breath, not a single thought coming to your mind for the first few seconds. The adrenaline of assault makes your heart want to jump out of your chest. But when you look over at Kai, expecting him to mirror you, he sits calmly, waiting for you to calm down. Your head is blurred with disbelief at what you just did, but despite knowing in your mind that violence isn’t the answer, you sit there as Kai starts driving and wait for the guilt to overpower your body. But it just…doesn’t.

“I’m so proud of you”, Kai says and puts his hand on your thigh giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I’m waiting for the guilt to kick in”

“It won’t”, Kai informs you. “You don’t care about the homeless or animals”

“What?! Of course, I do-”

“No, you don’t. You care about sexism. That’s what powers you. How many statistics do you know about rape? How much do you know about rape prevention? Feminism? Malala and Michelle fucking Obama?!”, he yells.

“That’s what fills you with rage, and that’s what begins the unlimited cycle”. Although his words sounded so sure and factual, you just couldn’t accept it.

“I don’t want to do it with violence”. Your voice weakens which makes Kai huff in amusement. He parks his car outside your motel and turns to you.

“You just made the world a better place. You saved that woman. That scum will never be able to reproduce. If you weren’t doing the right thing, you’d feel guilty”. You look up at him with worried eyebrows and he gives you a warm reassuring smile. You can’t deny his words, and the adrenaline and sense of accomplishment overshadow any speck of guilt you’re meant to feel. Just as you’re about to open the car door to get out, he puts his hand on your shoulder and looks at you once more.

“I’ll come by and get you tomorrow, I want you to meet my friends”

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hey slug, thanks for the hard work you and your team do for the fandom!! me and some friends were discussing this and i thought it would be nice to see ur answer to this (only if it doesn't bother u, of course!!): what characters do you think parents would give a big thumbs up if you introduced them as your partner (in terms of personality and traits)? I personally think Hifumi or Ichiro would be the best son-in-law...

What an entertaining question. Believe it or not, I’ve given the matter some thought before for reasons entirely unrelated to this, so presenting: Hypnosis Microphone Men and Whether or Not You Should Bring Them Home to Your Parents.

Since there’s a wide age range among the cast members, assume that the “you” in question is roughly each character’s age.

Ichirou: Absolutely. This man is objectively a dream boat. Runs his own successful business? Check. Respectful to people of all ages? Check. Cooks? Check. Cleans? Check. Good with kids? Check. Take Ichirou and marry him before your parents marry him themselves.

Jirou: As far as high school boyfriends go, Jirou’s not a bad choice. He’s a sweetheart, popular, plays music. Doesn’t do drugs in the school bathroom. Could have better grades, but hey, you can’t win them all. He seems like he’d have you home by 8 pm. You know what? Sure. Why not? You could do worse.

Saburou: Saburou is the kind of middle school boyfriend that your parents openly like and privately dislike. What I mean is that he’s very polite to most elders and super smart, so he’s the kind of kid who is entirely unobjectionable, but he’s also the kind of kid who would try to mansplain your parents’ jobs to them. Worst of all, he would be entirely correct in what he’s saying. Your parents probably want to punch him, but they don’t because assaulting children is illegal, not to mention immoral. They will breathe a collective sigh of relief when he finally breaks up with you so he can focus on studying for the Science Bowl nationals.

Samatoki: I am so torn on this one. On the one hand, he’s every parent’s worst nightmare. He smokes indoors, has an awful temper, and is a fucking gangster, for pete’s sake. Yet he can also be a sweetheart who cooks for you and does everything to treat you right. I’m really stumped. Probably the best solution, if you’re really wanting to get in on that Aohitsugi ass, is to cut out the middle man and date Nemu instead. She is perfect in every way, so your parents will love her.

Juuto: If your parents watch Antiques Roadshow, then he will have a lot to bond with them about. Otherwise I think he’d be that kind of person who tells stories about himself way too loudly at family dinners, and after he leaves, one of your parents pulls you aside to say, “Your boyfriend’s really kind of an asshole, don’t you think?” I guess date him if you’re okay with your parents thinking you have cruddy taste.

Riou: I feel like the hard part here is luring him out of the woods and into a family dinner, but from there, it should go great. He’s over 6 feet tall. He can cook well. He has a strong sense of purpose and knows what he wants to do in life. Most importantly, he has a wonderful heart AND every survival skill known to man. He will change the oil in your parents’ car, fix the leaky pipe you’ve been meaning to get around to for six months now, clean the hood above the stove, and then swap recipes and heartfelt compliments with whichever parent does the cooking. Who cares if he doesn’t have a stable income? You don’t need that with guns like those. (insert flexing Riou image here)

Ramuda: I’m trying to think about the concept of a) dating Ramuda and b) introducing him to a set of parents, and I’m drawing an utter blank. There is nothing but “???” in my mind. I’m going to hazard a guess that this one would be a terrible idea.

Gentarou: Wow, your parents had no idea you were dating a prince of a tiny little kingdom in the Mediterranean AND a Harvard law graduate AND the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize AND the man who discovered a cure for cancer in an expedition deep into the heart of the Amazon rain forest. Look at you! What a catch. Only attempt this if your parents are gullible.

Dice: As much as I love Dice to death, this one is a no. Your parents do not want you dating a homeless man with a gambling addiction and bad table manners. Plus, the MIL here seems hard to get along with. Nuh-uh.

Jakurai: Absolutely. You’re in your 30s, so your parents are at least middle-aged. Probably they have some joint problems or some back pain. Jakurai can let them kiss that pain goodbye, and in return, they can let him kiss you! A win-win. He also boasts a handsome salary, has a lovely house, and seems like he’d be super respectful in a relationship. Yes. Go. Marry him.

Hifumi: If you’re a girl, you’re probably going to have to sit this round out. If you’re a guy or nonbinary... yeah, you’re probably going to have to sit this round out too. See, if you have a mom, how is Hifumi supposed to meet her? I guess you could... idk... stick a lampshade on her head and expect him not to notice. That could potentially work, but it’d raise a few awkward questions. If you do happen to live in a female-free household, though, you’ve hit upon the golden opportunity to make this man yours. You can replace every instance of the word “wife” in Judy Brady Syfer’s famous essay “I Want a Wife” with the word “Hifumi” and still have it make perfect sense, and it shows.

Doppo: I can’t in good conscience recommend this one. Sure, he’s hardworking and certainly polite enough, but does he have the time to respond to your emotional needs? Hell, does he have the time to respond to his own? If you invited him to family dinner, there’s a good chance that he’d need to work overtime and miss it. He’d apologize and buy you flowers to make up for it, but you know he’d also be worrying about the cost of those flowers, so... is it really worth it?

Kuukou: For some reason, my parents actually like Kuukou (although I think he’s also the only character they know besides Ichijiku), but I don’t think this would hold true for most parents. He sounds good on paper, but he’d probably make a disparaging comment about someone’s ass in the first five minutes. Perhaps if you tape his mouth shut and tell your parents he’s doing a vow of silence, then yes.

Juushi: As far as high school (is he still in high school?) boyfriends go, Juushi’s not that bad either. He’s shy but sweet. Respectful. In a band, but the kind that makes money and doesn’t operate out of someone’s garage. Yeah, you know what? Go for it. You could do worse. Just scroll up on this list if you need proof of that.

Hitoya: Yeah, absolutely. Hitoya has a great career and a fantastic attitude. He doesn’t take shit from anyone but can still be polite in the correct contexts. He also seems like the type who would get into a serious relationship and treat his partner right. Fuck it up. I support your love.

Sasara: Yes. He has the exact type of humor favored by parents of the father variety. Plus, he’s a famous comedian. There is good money to be had right there.

Roshou: Absolutely. Rather shy but very talented, hardworking teacher who obviously puts his heart and soul into his job? Of course. As long as he doesn’t death glare your parents, it will work out fantastically. Plus, he can talk about sports! That’s a thing that parents like, right?

Rei: Absolutely not. You remember last May when your parents answered a call from the IRS telling them they were about to lose all their money unless they gave the nice man on the phone their bank account password right at that very instant? He was the nice man on the phone. Why the hell would you bring this threat into your parents’ home? Look, you’re in your mid-40s. Your parents are getting up in years, and they want to see you settle down and be happy with someone. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is not it. Why are you with Rei in the first place? Is it the fur coat? Listen, you are a grown-ass adult, and you can buy yourself as many fur coats as you want. I believe in you. It doesn’t have to be this way - you deserve better.

[the-ghost-king]

the term malewife isn’t a very nice term to use...

A man who acts as a wife and is inferior to his #girlboss girlfriend.

Person A: I just got myself a malewife. He's gonna clean my kitchen and watch me download custom content for the sims.

Person B: Sweet! You must be such a girlboss

^^urban dictionary. It’s just confirming to the sexist stereotypes that perceive and expectation of what a wife should act like. It’s quite harmful

It's a parallel to girlboss which is conformity to the sexism within corporate America:

"it becomes inescapably clear that when women center their worldview around their own office hustle, it just re-creates the power structures built by men, but with women conveniently on top. In the void left after the end of the corporate feminist vision of the future, this reckoning opens space to imagine success that doesn’t involve acing performance reviews or getting the most out of your interns." (here)

The word girlboss comes from a book quite literally called #girlboss, in parallel to the negative aspects of this book people eventually rebranded the term "malewife" to parallel it (malewife was originally an nsfw type thing)

In the malewife/girlboss "system" it's essentially the swapping of the problematic aspects, expectations, and socialization of men and women within a relationship

"Girlboss, gaslight, gatekeep" was a meme started to pick on the idea that women should become men and enforce the sexism within corporate society, and I'm sure it was a jab at the book the word came from as well.... "Manipulate, mansplain, malewife" was created to parallel the original meme

So yeah, the whole concept is mocking sexism within corporations and and modern relationships and showing how ridiculous it is. Girlboss mocks the idea of 2014 (largely) white feminism within America.

In example the original meme (created on Twitter) is intended to make mockery of Karen-types:

On January 12th, 2021, Tumblr user missnumber1111 posted, "today’s agenda: gaslight gatekeep and most importantly girlboss," garnering over 43,500 notes in a month (shown below). On that day, Twitter user @CUPlDL0VE posted, "my agenda is gaslight gatekeep and #girlboss," the first instance of the phrase on Twitter.

And a day later on January 13, 2021 Tumblr user a-m-e-t-h-y-s-t-r-o-s-e reblogged the post along with a photoshopped image of "Live, Laugh, Love" wall art instead reading, "Gaslight every moment, Gatekeep every day, Girlboss beyond words" (shown below). On January 18th, the image was reposted to Twitter for the first time.

Malewife doesn't hold those same implications however... The term malewife which is now being used to parallel girlboss achieves it's origins from p*rn, now I'm not an nsfw blog or someone who blatantly discusses nsfw concepts on my blog so I'm not getting super into it but there's a few places it comes from: femdom, bdsm, and feminization kinks... All of which have a connection to queerness in their own right but I don't feel comfortable going into the complexities of that with so many younger people following me.

On February 15th, Tumblr user @relelvance posted, "Manipulate, mansplain, malewife" as a male-themed opposite to "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss," garnering over 27,000 notes in four days. The post was screenshotted and reuploaded by Twitter user @nortoncampbell on the same day, garnering over 14,200 likes and 2,800 retweets in the same span of time (shown below).

Urban dictionary's explaination of "malewife" is not only harsher than what malewife was intended to mean, but also removes the context of origin from the word- making it something new, different, and erasing the history of who originally used this word.

Because of Malewifes origins vs Girlboss origins, malewife is a less problematic term than girlboss and is more "affectionate" because the term malewife and it's use (up until recently) involved the man acknowledging that he wanted to be the "wife" in his relationship. There's a variety of reasons someone might do this, but it can generally be summed up as a mixture of personality and also personal wants.

I do think it's important to also note that although these words are being "glamorized slightly" they're still intended and being used in a memeing manner, but they're also used to quickly denote arbitrary traits in an individual and categorize those traits...

Although there's lots of conversations to be had for a variety of reasons about the origin and use of the word "girlboss" in relation to sexism, up until recently the world "malewife" was something claimed by men, something men wanted to be called, and something that men who used the term wanted to reference them.

Malewife is about "stepping-up" to "take on" "female" social roles, and it's something that at least some women would be happy to see in society:

"...We have been told that we can have it all, but so far we have noticed that it is extremely hard work having it all, because you still have to do everything that your mother did but now you have to do everything your father did as well. Except that your father had your mother waiting at home with a gin and tonic and his slippers when he came home from work, and you have the washing up and the shopping and a few screaming brats as well as a bloke with his feet up on the sofa watching the football... " (via. Victoria Mary Clarke)

And I don't think that she's wrong at all. Women are still expected to do so much more than men in society without equal reward.

Malewife exists as a a sort of fantasy removed from the truth of society. It's an idea that a husband can be waiting at home to care for his wife, and in this instance it benefits the woman- unlike Clarke's situation above, the woman comes home from a long day and is able to relax without the pressures of society and her life.

Where housewife is a word that holds its origins in forced subservience, malewife is a term that is showcasing men "picking up the torch" in regards to housework- where housewife is socially forced, and girlboss is reversed social compliance, malewife is the rejection of social expectations.

Malewife is about men finding a place in their life's and relationships to make themselves more than a paycheck. To say "I can be emotionally there for my spouse, I can clean a toilet, and drive kids to school, and I don't treat my spouses wants as something expendable". In a society in which men are often demeaned, mocked, and scorned for picking up socially female roles (say hello to misogyny and gendered contamination!)

The Urban dictionary definition, is not only too harsh- but not the way in which the word is intending to be used, because that's ignoring the origins of this word, and the fact that men had a choice in becoming malewifes where women didn't have that choice. It should read more like:

Person A: Ah yeah, I have a malewife waiting for me, he's going to clean my kitchen because I've had a hard day at work and need a break, and then he's going to watch me download custom content for the Sims because I enjoy the game so much and it helps me take a break from life!

Women's wants were often ignored in favor of men's wants, so by the malewife saying he's going to watch his spouse play the Sims, he's really saying "I care about her interests" and by him picking up the kitchen cleaning after she's had a stressful day he's saying "I have a lower stress job so I can handle that for her and make her life a little easier" (because malewife doesn't mean he doesn't have a job).

In a society in which a man's worth is tied to his ability to bring home money and be emotionally distant, malewife is the rejection of this norm. Malewifes are going to be there for their spouse, they're going to step up and take on traditionally women's roles and they're doing it because they want to, because they like it, and because dividing chores into pink vs blue is wrong.

I also want to say, you can't flip a word around and say it does "this" because that's not how it works... Men and women are forcibly socialized in very different ways, the two binaries have very different treatment, and expectations within societies social constructs. If you could flip the forms of oppression that men vs women face (because yes, the patriarchy oppresses men) then you could also flip the forms of violence faced by trans masculine people vs trans feminine people- but that doesn't work either, because women will always be oppressed in the most public way to "make an example of them" while the patriarchy expects anyone who is male to "keep his mouth shut and fall in line". (I know that's worded poorly, but I've just written at least a couple hundred words and my brain is a bit fried already from various other things today- basically anyone perceived female or male will be treated in a certain way as a result of others perception of them)

Anyhow, all this isn't to say that the term "malewife" is inherently free of any form of flaw ever... Malewife is a newly mainstream word, it wasn't popularized until February 15 of 2021... So?? 5 days ago?? The origins of malewife and the social implications of malewife combined with the history of the word, don't make the word bad or impressive and it's not "upholding the ideals of a housewife" but instead a word which provides men freedom from male social expectations.

Can the word malewife come to be a word which enforces expected female social behavior? Yeah it absolutely can become a word to mean that, erase the history from the word, and give it to someone who doesn't know the history of the word, and someone who doesn't have an intimate understanding of gender theory, and you've got a recipe for hundreds more asks like the one you've sent me...

I can't find a single positive reason to use the word girlboss in an empowering way, but I can find more reasons to use the word malewife in an empowering way than not to do so.

So at the very least if all you come away from this with is that I don't personally use the word malewife to uphold female social expectations in a relationship but instead I use this word to provide space for guys to be allowed to be feminine, soft, caring, emotionally present, and worth more than their monetary value, then I guess that's okay.

[cinnamonest]

can we get more misogynistic childe and how he’d force her into staying at home unless she’s going out with him and how he’d fuck her like anywhere PLEASE THIS BLOG BRINGS OUT MY UNKNOWN KINKS 😭😭😭😭

I'm about to get super misogynistic with this lmao I'm so sorry y'all forgive me for this kink

-------

You're obligated to fuck him at any time he wants. It's your job. You stay at home all day (regardless of your desire to do so), while he does everything and provides for you. The least you can do is let him bend you over the nearest surface at any given time. Well, not that whether or not you let him matters.

Because ultimately, he's immensely stronger than you'll ever be. That's just biology, sweetheart. You were made inferior. Designed that way, and for a good reason - it's your place to submit and obey. You clearly weren't made to do anything else.

And if you forget, he'll just have to remind you. Struggling and fighting back is actually kinda cute, it's so easy to pin you down, mock you and humiliate you while you struggle. Are you even trying? It doesn't feel like you are. Come on, at least put some effort into it.

And don't even think of trying to tell him what to do. Or nagging, or backtalking. Defiance isn't tolerated. He's very very quick to put you over his knee at the slightest disobedience, or bend you over the counter and belt you. He has a right to do so, you're not smart enough to understand verbal talks, so humiliation and corporeal punishment is necessary.

Speaking of, he degrades you when he talks, treats you like you're incredibly stupid. Praises you for simple things, talks to you in a baby talk voice, mansplains explains things intentionally talking very slowly and mockingly to make sure your little brain can understand.

You have rules for whenever you go out, too. Don't speak to anyone - he'll talk for you. Whenever you run into new people, and they ask you questions, you let him answer unless he explicitly gives you permission to talk. Don't look other men in the eye, look at the ground, keep your head down unless he says you can do otherwise. Hold his hand wherever you go. Otherwise he might just have to get a leash for you. That's socially acceptable in his home country, y'know.

Honestly... I could see him intentionally going for a girl he knew was strongly independent and didn't take shit from men, someone who talked down to him the first time you met him. Or better yet, someone who looks down on them, thinks you're better than them, hates them even. And oh, God, he'd love it if you tried to fight him as an equal. It's really cute that you think you're better than someone who could so easily overpower you. He wants to ruin you, take you off your high horse and force you into submission, break that smug, arrogant attitude and remind you of your place. Taking a rebellious tomboy and making you a perfect little wife.

It's just so sad to see some girl that was never taught her proper place in the world. Really, you were set up for failure, being delusional enough to think you could ever compete on the same field.