#and if i'm struggling to get things done
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i
my mom said she looked at my schedule (classes, rehearsal, etc), factored in sleep and an hour of personal free time, and told me that i have 82 hours of free time a week to work on homework and stuff
which
great
but also
i
#i get why#it's to tell me that when i say that i'm overwhelmed#i shouldn't be#because i have plenty of time#and if i'm struggling to get things done#it's because i'm managing my time poorly#which is fair#but i also seriously hate that she would literally calculate my time out like that#like i don't know#i'm probably overreacting#but for some reason it just feels like an invasion#not of privacy#like i can't exactly quantify what it is about this that's making me feel so shaken#it's not the actual time itself#because i know that i need to manage my time better#she already tells me that plenty#and also i'm the one living my life so i can see that already for myself#i just feel like i already am so on the hook for what i'm doing all the time#i love talking to my mom#but there's always a layer of judgement behind our conversations about what i'm doing and when and where and why#like it's not because i particularly have anything to hide#just that hovering feeling all the time#even though i live at school and i'm technically an adult#and i know i'm still basically a child and probably shouldn't expect that much like . autonomy? control? idk#i just feel like there's always a hand reaching in and pushing down on my life. like it's not entirely my life#i feel so self centered#but it's just such a weird twisty feeling#idk#boink
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Behold!
A meme:
#i love these two#they're silly your honor#Telemachus#Peisistratus#telestratus#the odyssey#greek mythology#tagamemnon#i've said this before and i'll say it again: telestratus sounds like it could be a layer of the atmosphere aphvzrphdc#seriously tho. i haven't been drawing much lately and haven't posted anything in a long time#and making this piece. as simple as drawing over a meme could be. was really a struggle#I'm not kidding when I say I *suffered* to get this done#I'm quite happy with it tho (all things considered)#i think. or. well. i hope. that it kind of helped me to get back to drawing a bit more#we'll see#memes#my art
670 notes
·
View notes
Text






Bribed with Chocolate. The way it should be.
Part 22 || First || Previous || Next
--Full Series--
More to come as this is a two-parter. But you know how I am with schedules.
Bonus:

I think this was an equally possible reaction from Chara.
#Chara and Azzy have another talk#Finally Chara shows their mischievous side.#and Azzy knows Chara's language well#my art#deltarune chara timeline#art#bread#deltarune#ngl im so happy with how that chocolate shake came out. I want to eat it so bad#yay 6 pages of taking :') i hope you guys like that lmao#Glad I got this one done in basically a month and a week! Hah. I'm trying me best :') Halloween.. Exams and a ton of other things came up#surprisingly these backgrounds weren't terrible to do... I mean took more than two hours but you know what I mean#i struggled with how to frame the background though. I actually liked drawing it. But because both the background and my characters--#--are super colorful I have to make sure I don't muddle the whole page.#Ive been thinking of doing the overworld in black and white recently... may help me actually finish the comic lol. idk i may make a poll#gonna try and get the new part out in maybe a month again? sorry. Thanksgiving and Christmas get me exhausted.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
it's hell on earth to be heavenly them's the breaks, they don't come gently
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#went on a hike the sunday after the official announcement and listened to this song on repeat for probably 3 of the 8 miles#POV: me in the middle of the woods telling myself to get it together#while crying about a 35 year old millionaire before I end up passing someone on the trail and they call the police on me#so song is about how female stars are treated overtime and when they first arrive they're praised for being authentic and refreshin#but once the shine wears off and they're a little older and reveal imperfections or they struggle they become a target for ridicule#and then they're discarded for the next new thing in town and the cycle keeps repeating itself forever#which to me so closely mirrors daniel's trajectory in F1 in the eyes of the media#but also when you take the lyrics at face value they are just so daniel...#the f1 ecosystem and more specifically the redbull “family” are fake as hell#and yet daniel is one of their most genuine products who actually can't be easily reproduced (but by god they'll try)#he showed a great deal of promise despite coming from a place that really never should've produced a successful f1 driver#because the cards were stacked against him and nobody really thought he would make it#but he did and he gave us 13 brilliant years (and he has SO much more to give and do and succeed at and he will)#but the wheel of time keeps spinning and the cycle continues for the next shiny new toy that they can nurture and then destroy#anyway i'm not totally in love with these gifs but I need to be done w/them and I had to exorcise this demon that was making me sad
179 notes
·
View notes
Text
#Classic Amy#Amy Rose#StH#image description in alt#goggyart#I like these a lot. I want to push more with her as I draw her more going forward.#I'm really happy with how I did her hands I guess. Their a thing I tend to struggle with and it becomes mega annoying. It ends up with#me leaving something mostly done unfinished for weeks or months (as what happened in this case. I started these not long after I finished#the similar drawings with sonic and tails)#so this morning I got determined enough to push through the fear of have to scrap the work I'd done previously. i had to redraw her hands#a couple times but I finished it.#anyway I love Amez and Knux a lot. especially to draw. but I struggle with them a lot. so this year I'm endeavoring to study and draw them#more so I can get better and share them with y'all who I hope like them too.
201 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyone else finding it impossibly hard to be creative right now
#i'm still drawing every day and working on comms#but i'm struggling to get things finished#stuff i can usually get done in like an afternoon is taking me a whole work day#every little thing takes so much mental energy and focus#and i get tired so quickly#art is coming it's just sad and slow these days#when i don't have art to post i start to feel. Weird. and Bad
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate that this is genuinely something I'm writing rn, but nothing has more RATTLED my faith in the writing team's ability to write a Zane story then him calliNG ARIN CRINGE-

#I'm still not over it#And I never will be 😭#It's just-#I'm sorry#But it reeks of a complete lack of understanding regarding a character on the most fundamental level#You are FUCKING WITH ME if you say Zane would genuinely say that to a teenager struggling with so much stuff at the moment#Especially because he was in Arin's position once when he first joined the ninja#Arguably an even worse position because he had no past to remember#It's just#*so* frustrating hearing HIM of all characters mutter that word#And ESPECIALLY in relation to ARIN of all people#If he'd said that about someone like Jay or Cole or anyone on the team frankly#I would've found it fucking incredible and possibly the funniest thing he'd done/said at that point#But NOT the young teenager struggling with his best friend (or family as he says) lying to him and hiding it from him#Sorry I just needed to get this off my chest otherwise I would've exploded#Weekly Zane Julien writing Hate Session number 73 lmao#ninjago#zane julien#zane ninjago#Image is from Quest for the Lost Powers#Aka ACTUAL good charachterisation of Zane and an amazing story for him 💀
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
something I've noticed that is Very prevalent in the fandom is the assumption that All of the 10 sacred pokemon in Hisui are referred to as Nobles, which is actually Not Canon. There's the ride pokemon, but they're not Noble pokemon.
and since it's not actually canon, but rather widespread fanon, it's everywhere and completely untagged.
I'm not gonna ask people to change their headcanons or rewrite everything, that's ridiculous. but it IS technically misinformation that can be easily corrected;
therefore i propose using the "The Ride Pokemon are Considered Nobles" tag on ao3 for when one writes ride mons as nobles, at the very least
#i keep meaning to make this post but I've struggled with wording#I'm not blaming people or getting upset at people#i just like it when things have the correct information instead of fanon#like on ao3 sneasler's canonized character tag is 'lady sneasler' and that's straight up false#pla#pokemon legends arceus#particularly blatant with#submas#not art#anyway yeah. it's super easy to just go back real quick and add on that tag to fics on ao3#I've done it myself for my oldest stuff
191 notes
·
View notes
Text
alone with you, take two
Wally Darling x Reader
Warnings: jealous wally, frustrating neighbours, mwah mwah kissy smooches!!
although it is not necessary, I highly suggest reading my fics in their recommended order for the best experience! here is the link to all my silly lil wally fics in order. this is #11 :)
Jealousy isn’t a frequent feeling for Wally, but sometimes, things get on his nerves.
“Hun, would you mind helping me with these treats please?”
Your attention was drawn away from Wally, once again.
It was a Friday night, and the neighbourhood was gathered for their weekly get together, of course. Lots of eating, game playing, and mingling going on.
You left Wally’s side, assuring him you would be right back, off to assist Poppy with whatever it was she needed.
Wally blew out an irritated huff.
And this get together seemed to mean he barely got to steal any of you for himself.
Everyone was taking you left and right. ‘Hey, come play a game with us!’ ‘Would you help me set these up?’ ‘Come take a look at this!’ No matter what, it was one thing or another, back to back to back.
Now, despite having quite a way with words, Wally still didn’t know how to use them, at times.
Occasionally, he didn’t know how to ask for things, particularly when it comes to a new challenge he's unsure of how to approach. He just… didn’t. So, what would he do instead?
He would stare.
And he would stare.
And he would stare.
He would stare, until the other person picked up on his silent plea for assistance. Or, until it will have been long enough where he figures it out himself.
This was the predicament you were in now. Although, unfortunately for Wally, you were still yet to notice you were in any sort of predicament at all.
He wasn’t sure how long it had been. He almost couldn’t complain, because it provided an extra good excuse to look at you. At the same time, he was getting frustrated, because how haven’t you realized yet?
Well, actually, maybe you had. But, whenever it seemed like you were going to inquire, someone stole your attention away, which would irk Wally just a little bit more.
It’s happened multiple times now. By just about everyone. Twice, by most! Were they doing it on purpose, at this point? Wally was beginning to question.
For now, Wally watched and waited. And watched and waited. And watched and waited. Until finally, you were finished helping Poppy and on your way back over to him. So, he seized his opportunity.
“Would you—” he began, only to be cut off.
“Hey pipsqueak! Come play a quick round with Eddie n I!”
If looks could kill, Barnaby would’ve been dead where he stood.
“Deal me in, too!” Howdy raised a hand, making his way over to the table, stretching his other arms and cracking his knuckles with confidence.
“Do you get one or two hands, with two sets of arms?”
“Actually,” you glanced at Wally, looking over at the group again. “Give him two! He can play for me, I’ll hop in later,”
“Which hand do you wanna be, kiddo?”
“Uh… top? Cause I’m on top, y’know?”
Howdy sniggered.
“Okay, I’ll give you the bottom hand.”
“Jeez. Ask me for my fancy, just to ignore it,” you clicked your tongue in amusement, looking at Wally. He gazed back at you, eyes hopeful. Was he finally getting your attention? All to himself? “What did you want to say, sorry?”
Wally sighed with relief. Finally!
“Would you li–”
“Starlight! Won’t you come join Julie and I’s game?” Sally called out to you.
Nope.
Wally had it.
As you opened your mouth to reply, Wally took you by the hand, answering for you.
“Later.”
His tone was sharp and curt as he stormed toward the door, leading you behind him.
No more distractions.
Wally pulled you along, pausing briefly at the exit and looking at you, ensuring you were fine with this. Your eyes met his, and although surprised and confused, you understood the silent question and gave him a nod to go on.
The two of you stepped outside, walking briskly into the cool night. A sigh of relief left Wally, glad to finally be away from his beloved although slightly infuriating neighbours. When he decided the two of you had wandered far enough, he slowed his pace, sucking in a breath of the refreshing air. He looked at you to apologize for being so brash, only to pause.
You were staring at him, a grin growing on your face.
“Is this what I think it is?” you questioned him. His brows furrowed in puzzlement.
“Were you getting jealous in there, Wally?”
He gaped at the accusation. Jealous? Him? He opened his mouth to shut it down, only to hesitate.
Was he jealous?
His cheeks heated as realization hit him. He gaped like a fish, trying to think of a reasonable defense for himself, to no avail.
“... they were doing it on purpose,” he could only claim, deflating.
“They were being quite rude, weren’t they?” you empathized with a giggle. “I’m sorry,”
“It’s not your fault,” he shook his head, sure of that much. “But they kept pulling you away, this way and that way. I think that I was deserving of a turn,”
“Well, no matter, now we are alone,” you smiled. “No more interruptions. What would you like, Wally?” you asked him.
He blanked.
Right.
The reason he wanted your attention in the first place.
Wally’s head dipped down shyly, his fingers gently toying with your own.
How does he say it?
He returned his gaze back to your eyes. You were waiting patiently for him to speak. No rush at all. You never did.
“I wanted to step outside with you,” he said, speaking slow as he took the time to figure out his words.
“I wanted to spend some time away, just you and I,” he continued. “Everyone was demanding your attention, but I wanted some for myself. That sounds quite selfish now that I say it out loud, doesn’t it?” He mumbled.
“I don’t think you’re being selfish at all,” you begged to differ. “I think that you have a right to desire some extra attention from me. We are together, after all. And, that being said, you are my top priority,”
“As you are mine,” Wally nodded, giving your hand a squeeze.
“So, you just wanted to spend some time together?” You hummed softly, smiling at him. “I always quite like that idea,”
“Well, not quite…” he trailed along sheepishly, looking down at your interlocked hands.
“What would that be, Darling?”
“I wanted to kiss you,” he admitted.
“To kiss me?”
He nodded.
“Well, why don’t you, then?”
He peeked up at you.
“... might I?”
“Of course,” you giggled.
“… now I’m nervous,” he uttered bashfully, gazing downward as he shyly rubbed the back of his neck. You grinned in amusement, leaning closer to him.
“Do you want me to kiss you?” You whispered, placing your finger under his chin to redirect his attention to you. His eyes widened slightly in surprise, gazing into yours as he licked his dry lips.
“Please?” He murmured out.
With a smile, you tilted his chin up a bit more, closing the gap between you and pressing your lips to his in a sweet, short kiss. He went a little rigid before he relaxed into it, though he didn’t have quite enough time to reciprocate before you moved to break the kiss.
As you began to pull away, his hand found the side of your neck, not ready for you to leave just yet. He led you back in before you went too far, his lips met yours once again, bringing you in for another kiss, slow and loving.
Moments later, Wally pulled away, more content this time. He gazed at you, any hint of his prior frustration nowhere to be seen anymore, nothing but a look of fondness left remaining in his eyes. He studied you, from your flushed cheeks to your small smile, meeting your equally love filled eyes.
“Are you satisfied now?” You asked with a light teasing tone, rubbing at your warm cheek as if it would make your embarrassed blush fade away. Wally clicked his tongue, glancing towards the noisy home down the way.
“Mmm, I’m not sure…” he hummed with a playful tone, looking back at you with a glint in his eyes. “I think that I deserve you for some time more. How does another kiss sound to you? Then, maybe I’ll be satisfied,”
hi! hello! did i scare you? i'm back from the dead to offer you this! i hope that you enjoyed! burnout is real, bahaha! if you are new, i have some other fics along these lines you can read as well!
here is a link to my silly lil wally fics in their recommended order if you would like :) these can also be found on my ao3 B) I also have a ko-fi if you'd like to support me!
also!!! ART!!! people made art based on my fics!!! MIND BLOWING!!! check them out, super duper cool!
@leon-dechino created this one and this one! SO cool, mind boggling, makes me so happy gavhxsah
@sunkyss created this one! AHHH! so wild man, i still can't believe it bahaha! i highly suggest you check both of them out! they have so many cool works on top of these!
alas! 'tis all for now! i hope to see you soon! MWAH! until next time <3
Posted Wednesday, June 7, 2023 at 2:07 PM
#wally darling x reader#wally x reader#wally darling#welcome home x reader#welcome home#auyatfgshjaghbjk#there's this thing i'm tryna work on and get done and i did really good in the beginning but now i've been struggling with a few parts of i#its been like two weeks and auiytgfdhsja it's so hard why is writing liike this fgaghahjaj#but!!! if i do end up getting it out sometime i think yu will all enjoy it#lets just hope that it happens gahaha!#so many spelling mistakes in these tags GAHAHA
688 notes
·
View notes
Text
my irls are pmo SO BAD lately with their comments just because i'm having FUN texting my friends on discord
#“you're only on discord” “get off discord” “you're obsessed with discord” “kamey discord mod” “kamey discord kitten”#if you don't STFU i'm gonna stop talking to yall#also today in spanish class one of them was like “ah you're finally not on discord anymore?”#and i ignored him and he was like “kamey helloo” “helloo kamey answer” “are you finally done with your discord obsession kamey?” “kameyyyy?”#like why are they so negative i'm being social???#like one of them KNOWS how bad my anxiety is i told him sometimes I can't even talk to my PARENTS#and that i struggled texting another online friend for the first time#can u tell me why he is sooo fucking negative that I'm finally being social and making new friends??????????????????#and the weirdest part is those irls are talking to people via discord as well????#why is it a bad thing that i'm doing it ????????#and why do only i get those fuckass annoying comments?? one of our friends has been on discord texting friends FOR YEARS#and it's no problem with them#BUT WITH ME??? oh a crime i'm obsessed not living in the moment anymore and a discord mod#discord mod /neg btw#like come one don't piss me off
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#I struggled so hard today#and for no apparent fucking reason#I struggled with something at work that I've done for the first time while also constantly task switching#and I STILL NOTICED MY MISTAKE#but the fact that I made a mistake in the first place is fucking killing me#I feel like I will be executed for it#it makes my skin crawl#and to know that I'll have to go up to another human being who I respect deeply and be like hey I made a mistake please don't hate me#is the first fucking thing#BUT IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE#part of science is noticing your own mistakes so why is this so terrible to me#I know upbringing bla#yes I was raised to believe that among all other things I'm smart#and I have had this proven to me over and over and over growing up#so when I actually struggle with something I can no longer be smart therefore I am nothing#utterly worthless#and nobody even meant me any harm by telling me I was smart#this is such a STUPID FUCKING problem to have#uh I was told I'm smart#bitch what#yes being yelled at from 10 through 28 by my father for completely unpredictable reasons did not help with me thinking this is terrible#BUT STILL#get your shit together#see and even now I'm beating myself up for struggling with something#URGH#I just want peace and not existential dread whenever I make a mistake that is definitely my fault#personal#so and if you've actually made it till down here I'm giving you a big hug#we'll make it somehow
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Accommodations do not 'limit' what a person is able to do.
It means that it eliminates a point of stress/grief in their daily life, so they can do *more*.
It is not 'laziness' to want to do more, but needing accommodations to make that happen.
#chronic illness#disabled#disability#actually disabled#chronically ill#invisible disability#disabled adult#chronic pain#if you feel better using a mobility aid or ANY other accommodation then just use it#if it makes life easier then it shouldn't be seen as a bad thing#shaming those for using things obviously made for those with disabilities is why the world is harder to live in#if it makes you want to do more then go for it#I used my mom's old walker for almost a year after she passed#turns out it was harming my heart more by using it (mainly the pushing part) but it helped with so many other things I struggled with#I also can't thank my nurses enough for being an accommodation I use for my appointments and all that#seriously I'm getting SO much done now compared to before
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Personally, I think the “That’s how it happened right? You standing in my blood, stroking my hair?” Was how it happened. Louis is just super detached from that headspace he was in before, and validly wanting not to have it be true that he didn’t, at one time, care about Claudia being gone, would be reasonable, and in character. Blaming Armand, partly, for why things got to be like that is correct. Though in this instance is misdirected to include things Armand did not in fact do to get it to be like that, but had, very much, done in a recent unrelated incident. He's essentially combining two events together to get it to align with his current set of beliefs. (Surely everyone's looked back on a situation before and saw it differently given time to think or feel differently about it. Get differing information, and so on. The show is directing us to that a lot, if not making it one of its major themes.)
But I say this is probably, almost definitely, the case, because Louis story beats need to be told accurately lest it take away from his character arc, as well his whole character and its complexity. Obstructing from his, very powerful, highly emotionally driven, story in a way that's frankly offensive. Armand having total and complete control over it, is bullshit. While, he does this though, to himself. Does a character armor on himself to get away from his own flaws, and role, in how things came about. Not intentionally, because it is emotional, and a lot of times just a result of blocking out that trauma. But this is something he’s seen doing often - Not remembering situations in the light in which they’re most accurate, and in so doing painting himself better sometimes, and others worse. Straight up forgetting, or overlooking information, and so never reevaluating why certain things came about until this moment. Not accurately applying the emotions of then, to the way he feels about it now, because he can't, or couldn't previously, actually remember it in that way. As he doesn't connect to those feelings, even those memories. His feelings in a lot of ways keep clouding his memories and his judgments of them.
Daniel gets at this too, where he brings up the tapes, and how Louis was basically just raving the whole time, and this story all happened differently then. It's the same story beats, yes, but it's all so emotionally different to the point where information gets completely changed around, even looked at like it's forcefully constructed to be a certain way, and not actually, therefore, accurate. Louis always tells an emotional story, and that’s important. It places him in time and continuum, in his own history as opposed to outside of it. That’s like, I think a history that can’t be overlooked, even if it's a history that's subject to change. And shouldn't history be? Shouldn't we look back on events that took place in our lives differently? Isn't that how any society grows? And why shouldn't Louis judgments be clouded by his emotions when that's the reason for most any other characters actions? Isn't that the story being told here?
#iwtv#Armand stuff in tags so I'm not derailing:#this is also why I believe Louis had asked Armand for it to be removed because he was struggling and his judgements were off and so asking#in that kind of moment is... I feel a very Louis doing something emotionally desperate moment. And you can just#throw a dart at a wall of things he's done and never miss him doing something emotionally desperate.#the whole interview is emotionally desperate for crying out loud.#anyway... I'm an Armand would only do this if asked kind of person and think it's lazy and bad writing otherwise.#Armand SO much more preys on Louis emotional vulnerabilities and desperations than he goes fucking around with Louis literal memories.#Cause he's also not after control so much as filling the void of his own insecurities and sometimes this is done through manipulating Louis#And that's why I also don't think he plans and constructs so much as... also only acts desperately.#Honestly I don't think a lot of it's intentional either for the very reason he doesn't want to really control Louis#Louis just also an active reminder of everything he's insecure about so he... ends up acting out a lot of them onto him.#The guy's not hannibal lector unwell he's Armand unwell#Idk the people that get it get it#louis de pointe du lac#loumand#armand#interview with the vampire
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok so here's how I downgraded my Tumblr app to get rid of the annoying Tumblr TV (on mobile at least, since I don't use my computer very much)
Sorry if I explained this horribly! I'm not the best at explaining things like this (;^ω^)
- First, uninstall Tumblr
- Next, go here
It'll look like this:

There are a bunch of older versions of Tumblr on here, pick whatever you'd like. I went with this one though - you can go even older if you want!
I didn't know which version had Tumblr TV and which ones didn't so I was downloading constantly, finding TV was still there, going 1 down the list, downloading, it's still there, go down the list again, etc. Until I found a version that didn't have it ┐(‘~`;)┌
This website is also an app, as when you download a version it'll ask to install an unknown app. You will have to hit allow. Chrome kept screaming at me over and over so you will have to hit allow a lot when you want to download things from here. Rest assured, it's reliable and won't give you a virus.
I promise

It'll look like that in your apps, and it'll also show you what version of Tumblr you have in your app settings (I only have Android, no clue if any of this will work for anyone else)

Essentially, go to the website. Download the version you want (check what version you have right now so you can go below that one). You'll have to hit allow download, chrome will say it's dangerous, but it's fine. If I remember correctly the website will ask to download their app so you can download Tumblr off it. Chrome will pop up and say this is blocked, you will have to go and allow this in your settings. Then it'll redirect you to the app. Then it's pretty much the website all over again. Download whatever version you want. Tumblr will automatically reinstall when you download a version, no worries! You will have to sign in again
If you find your don't like the version you downloaded, uninstall Tumblr again and redo the whole process but with another version.
It's free! It's safe! And it doesn't take long. Tumblr will immediately try to get you to update the app when you download an old version, ignore it and the banner will go away eventually
Happy to help get rid of the lighting bolt and Tumblr TV! (´∇`)
#sorry again for my crummy explanation#I'll try to screen record when I can to better explain#come to me if you have any questions!#I'm absolutely horrible with running things like this - i struggle even with my computer files and stuff - things that should be well known#but even i was able to get this done pretty quickly and easily#i hope it helps! Tumblr is making me mad with these updates 💢#💬#📢#tumblr tv#tumblr update#Tumblr#[tumblr]#←just put Tumblr in brackets like this [Tumblr] for that effect#PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD#advice#long post
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
turns out poetry and fiction aren't that great when you can't feel any connection with them 90% of the time
#pray for me please#it's finals week and i'm really struggling#I'm so tired and I don't know how to deal with all the things running around in my head that are bent on distracting me from the work I#*need* to do#and my friends are lovely and supportive but they have their own work and trials too#and I'm struggling at the moment#I don't need any more bible verses I think I actually just need to be angry enough to finish this stupid assignment#and then every other stupid assignment that has to be done before the end of the week#but i've been struggling to feel anything much less anger for a while#just too tired and overwhelmed and too used to hiding my emotions from everyone. it's exhausting but I'm fairly good at it.#so again -- prayer please. that i'll be able to get through all of this and not give up#and then I'll deal with all the things I need to deal with later on when there is time and space to do so#(goodness knows there won't be much time and space at home but there will at least not be any class work so that will be nice)#(i'm so tired of feeling angry!! but it turns out that underneath everything else there's a whole lotta anger still!!! and smothering it#down doesn't seem to be helping anything!! aaahggrgrgghshdghdgs)#(and unfortunately all the work I've been doing to give up my propensity towards control seems to have just left me feeling#apathetic and pointless. there has to be a line between obsessively controlling every aspect of your life you can manage#and just giving up and not being able to see the point in anything anymore. right????)
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'd love it if I could just open up to my therapist fully and tell her about how I truly feel but I only ever get the I'm really depressed feeling at liek 2am or when I'm PMSing
#tw vent in the tags#vent in the tags#tw venting#tw vent#tw: venting#I'm just so lost rn#and stressed#but mostly lost#I feel like I'm just doing through the motions and barely getting by on any of them#It's like I don't have as many hours in a day as everyone else#like it could be autism and ADHD affecting that but why does it seem like everyone can do all these things so easily#I can barely get one thing done at a decent end result#and I try to tell my parents that like 'hey I need more help then neurotypicals' and they always hit me with that#'I DoNt WaNt ThE DiAnOgSiS tO dEfInE yOu'#like yall just don't understand i get it but you don't need to erase my struggle#and everyone's like 'you can talk to me any time'#and I know most people actually mean good by that and they won't judge me or anything#but I've heard utter bullshit come from peoples mouths whenever I start opening up enough times to make me bottle everything up#I'm just tired of this#I'm tired of feeling forever stuck in this struggling phase#I'm tired of not opening up to people#I'm tired of not being able to share my feelings without shutting down#and I'm sure as hell tired of people acting like I don't have a disability#lovely talks#lovely vents
8 notes
·
View notes