#and if i was an abusive mom trying to hide my actions (like her self insert OPENLY DOES. THE WHOLE MOVIE)

[gibbearish]

anyways. have yall seen the deliverance. and if yes have you read the wikipedia article. because like. that woman 100% was literally just straight up abusing her kids and used the church to get out of it. the movie doesnt even try to hide it that hard. "based on a true story" except of course for all of the important bits of context like how the cps agent was not in fact a nonbeliever in the supernatural before switching to her side and never did so and that the kid could only walk up the wall with his grandma's help and that none of the prior tenants had similar experiences (@ trey whered you go) and the POLICE CHIEF BELIEVED IN DEMONS BEFORE MEETING HER !! and that every SINGLE thing that happened in real life can be (and fucking IS) explained by child abuse. half the time the movie is just like "ok yeah sure maybe she was abusing her kids, but only because demons made her do it". and then drop little hints that she was in jail before for Something (doesn't say what but i can guess) and that her drinking problems are well established and that her oldest son was stockpiling money to get away from her long before they moved to that house. also i could be misreading the timeline but seems like her supernatural experiences only started after her own abusive mother moved back in with her which can SO easily trigger old wounds to come back to the surface so like OF COURSE youre gonna start seeing shit, disturbances can be a ptsd symptom !!!!

tldr; fuck latoya ammons so hard, if this is the made-presentable-for-tv version then like. i want to say i cant imagine what the real life version was like, but i very much can. and for that, fuck her. immensely. i hope her children are actively writing a rebuttal and/or reaching out to lawyers to sue her ass as we speak.

[gatheringbones]

[“Mom rage lives in the body. Fingers curl, cheeks burn, breathing quickens. Similar to road rage, mom rage bubbles up fast and hot. Mom rage is fury—mothers bursting with uncontrollable anger. Its release is often aural and physical: a rhythmic string of high-pitched curses; a booming trombone yell, so growly the mother’s throat is sore the next morning; hands slapping out a sharp beat on her own stinging thighs; a bass drum foot pounding out each word—BRUSH (stomp) YOUR (stomp) TEETH (stomp) NOW (stomp, stomp)!!

As mothers, we know we are supposed to be nurturing, patient, gentle; never rageful. We try to hide our wrath, hold it in, keep it quiet. Sheila, mother to a three-year-old and seven-month-old in Brisbane, Australia, admitted to me in an email, “I often feel the rage and would sometimes just LOVE to stab a mattress into pieces with a very sharp knife.” Sheila used to hide her rage by screaming underwater at her local public pool, but the pandemic robbed her of that covert release. When mom rage takes over, not physically hurting someone is an act of will. Joanna from Portugal told me, “I remember holding [my daughter] and biting down on her fluffy onesie to staunch something worse.”

Those on the receiving end of mom rage are often our children, but not always. The vitriol can be directed at partners, pets, men in general, the system, or everyone around us. Mom rage can also turn inward, manifesting in self-harm: substance abuse, cutting, punching our thighs, slapping our own face, biting the insides of our lips, cheek, tongue—anything that can feel pain. Moms who rage are in pain, even if we don’t know it.

That pain isn’t caused by a child not wanting to brush her teeth, or any of the other daily irritations of parenting. Its foundations go much deeper. Mom rage stems from the overwhelming stress and impossible expectations of modern motherhood, combined with a debilitating lack of support from within the family structure and societal systems.

The sneaky thing about the causes of mom rage is that we can’t see them. In their visual absence, all we see is an angry mom. On the surface, mom rage looks like simple cause and effect: a child drops a jar and it shatters, resulting in the mom yelling, hot-faced and wild. This explanation of mom rage is easy to comprehend—there was an action and then a reaction. Perhaps there are details that complicate the story and make the mother’s strong reaction easier to empathize with. Maybe before this happened, the mother asked the child repeatedly not to play with the jar. Maybe the jar was the mother’s only heirloom from her great-grandmother who escaped the Holocaust. Maybe the mother has a pending work deadline, and Grandma, who was supposed to babysit, just called out with a migraine.

If we imagine mom rage as a house, the cause-and-effect scenario is happening on the main floor—let’s say, in the kitchen, since that is where so much of mothers’ daily domestic work takes place. To fully understand mom rage, we have to leave the kitchen and descend to the basement to uncover what came before. By “before,” I mean what happened the hour or day before the mother screamed at her child, but I also mean history—the mother’s own personal history, and the larger cultural history that shapes the way we live, think, and breathe today. History, identity, social norms, power(lessness), and past trauma, in addition to current societal systems and attitudes, are all at work when a mom balls up her fists and roars at the people around her—often the people she loves most. In the mom rage basement, we locate how a lack of partner support stems from cultural inequalities.”]

minna dubin, from mom rage: the everyday crisis of modern motherhood, 2023

[soulforayandere]

Here he is, Damon!

So happy how he turned out, even if his nose gave me and my artist a bit of trouble XD

Art by: Ozaya

Damon/Br0ken Colors by: @inkly-heart

Br0ken Fantasy AU info for Damon below the cut :3c

(I tried to keep him faithful to his original while still making an AU)

Damon is a Warg, a being with the ability to change into a beast-like form, but this ability is fueled by the consumption of fresh/ raw meat. This leaves his people with negative stigmas and subject to racist persecution. Most tend to live in rural areas for generations, getting used to how they are treated and building a cohabitation relationship with those around them. But some refuse to roll over and settle for being mistreated, often leading them to live in larger populated areas, where they can blend into crowds and just be one of thousands.

As a pup, Damon was always the quite one, just awkwardly trying to stay out of others way. Unfortunately, being a warg, he was subjected to horrible bullying all through his schooling. His parents tried to refocus his mind, find something to placate his sorrow and anger to "play nice" and play the part of a "domesticated warg" like them. Over time Damon found a love for gardening, even learning botany and herbology to better help his garden thrive. Naturally when the other kids found out a boy was into taking care of plants they only upped their bullying.

There was one girl that seemed to like his garden, always stopping on her way to school or home to smell the flowers or watch the butterflies. Damon was far too shy to talk to her, so would just hide and watch her. This watching turned into following her, learning everything about her he could. He thought if he got to know her better, then he could tell her how he felt easier. When he finally got enough courage to confess to her, she shot him down cruelly. It got out he had stalked her, and she went from disgusted to disturbed and angry. She spread the word to the other kids, and a group of boys destroyed Damon's garden as revenge. From that moment on, all the kids refused to use his name, only referring to him as "Stalker" instead.

Over time, he accepted the new name, all but owning it as he grew into a teenager. He became more violent as he aged, the years of abuse taking it's toll. That same girl, his first crush, became a regular in his abuse. One day he just snapped, her words and actions just becoming too much, and he attacked her. He killed her, and in his haze of rage and cool thought, disposed of the body. He was never caught for the killing, the girl just permanently listed as missing, but there were those in his class that suspected him. Due to the gentle nature of his parents, those in charge brushed the kids accusations off, thinking Damon too weak to even "warg-out" (shift into beast form). The kids tried to take matters into their own hands, and tormented him into giving a confession. The came to a head when a group of boys tried to jump him while running errands for him mom. They attacked him, claiming they'd kill him for what he did. But Damon shifted in his other form and easily subdued all of them. He didn't kill any of them that time, but made it known he could, and left them broken and bloody. After that, everyone left him alone, totally ignoring his existence and not interacting at all. Seeing the mistreatment of their son, and how he was on a dark spiral that wouldn't end well, Damon's parents made the decision to move to Hueväri City and gave their son a better chance in life.

As an adult, Damon keeps to himself and avoids most people. His depression and loneliness eats him up, and he yearns for nothing more than someone to be close to and love, but the fear of being rejected terrifies him. He picked up his old habit of stalking people that catch his interest, learning anything and everything about them before he makes any move to approach them. Even if his self doubt tells him he'd never find someone who would accept him for what he is, he still dreams of finding love and having a happily ever after. 

During one of his stalking trips, he ran into a man on a hunt of his own. The man was DG, an Unseelie who fed off the fear he caused in others. DG at first meant to make Damon a victim, but when the warg showed little to no fear of the dark being, he became interested in different ways. In a strangely fast way, the two became good friends, and Damon joined DG on his "hunting trips" time to time. He's help hunt their target, and get his reward in the form of some of the victim's meat. The now steady supply of magically charged meat (fresh meat from a "being" naturally has magic while normally processed animal meat usually doesn't) gave Damon a boost in power and self control he'd never had before, making him just a bit addicted to it.

Notes

He owns a flower shop and apothecary. His love of plants and herbology never wavered, and even if he's not the most popular shop in town, he's still happy he has what he has. His favorite flowers are roses, and he often experiments in making crossbreeds for different color effects in the blooms.

He enjoys dancing, but is too shy to dance in front of most people. He either needs to be in a large crowd where no one would pay attention to him, or he needs to be totally lost in the music to dance in front of people. He mostly dances in his shop as he cleans up or in the privacy of his own home. He once tried to show a fancy dance he learned from videos to DG, but the man just teased him for it, so he vowed not to do that again.

He can't cook, never really learned how, so he mostly eats his meals out of a microwave or raw. He has a meat heavy diet, so it's common to see raw meat on his plate and blood covering his countertops. Besides meat, Damon has a soft spot for chocolate.

Besides his plants, Damon likes nature photography. He'd often take trips to the parks to take pictures of the plants and animals just vibing in the sun. When he stalks a crush, he often takes pictures of them like a nature photographer. He has a binder of photos under his bed, and when a crush rejects him (and DG "makes them pay") he burns all their pictures as a way to let go.

After he starts fallowing Fef, along with her pictures, he steals some of her belongings time to time. He's read though her journal countless times, stollen underwear, taken pictures of her "toy" box, and hid in her closet a few times just to watch her go about her life. (bonus for him when he caught her using said toys and saying his name)

Normally he'd wear his hair all lose, but after he caught Fef blushing at him and she admitted to preferring him with his hair up, he now mostly keeps the long fount portions of his hair tied back.

[hiraganasakura]

Mantle evac asker again: thanks for a well-crafted response and apologies if I put you on the spot. TBH I'm not even sure Ironwood *needed* that semblance explanation for his unraveling (or a semblance *period;* a fair number of capable RWBY characters don't have one) with his pre-existing authoritarian tendencies and post-Beacon PTSD in play. Feel free to expand on Robyn if the mood hits, 'cause ye gods could watchers be giving her & the H-Huntresses a fairer shake.

Hi anon! Sry for the late reply, I've been busy

Yeah, true, the Semblance thing works to reinforce what we already understand. Honestly the primary reasons I wish it was talked about in-show is bcus the only reason we even know what his Semblance is is bcus the writers talked about it at some panel, and it could contribute another layer to Ironwood's character

According to the RWBY wiki's article on Mettle (link), apparently they wanted to explicitly state it in V7/V8, and had it in mind while writing Ironwood, but couldn't find a way to work the reveal in without damaging the flow of the show. I learned that just now and found it interesting

I just think it's cool to see negative aspects of Semblances tbh. They're meant to be the manifestation of a person's very soul and while they're usually shown in a positive light seeing the bad side of it is an interesting perspective. Like we see Qrow struggling with self-loathing (and the closely connected depression and alcoholism) due to Misfortune, in After the Fall/Before the Dawn Yatsuhashi fears his own Memory Wiping Semblance, etc. Seeing Ironwood have similar struggles I think would humanize him a bit while still not excusing his actions. It'd make him even more interesting imo. Does that make sense?

But now to the main point, yay, I get to talk about this! I only just had this realization as I was answering your previous ask

Ok so. Some ppl [nobody here] claim that Blake and Yang trusting Robyn with the info on Amity was "dumb" of them bcus they didn't know for certain if she was trustworthy at that point in time. Which, I can get why ppl may think that, but I respectfully disagree. I don't think "dumb" is the right word at all; in fact, I think the fact that Blake and Yang were even willing to try this shows a lot of how their characters have grown

Think about it: these two have rly bad trust issues

I mean, Blake was abused by Adam and faced harsh discrimination as a Faunus. In the early volumes of RWBY, she struggled to even trust her team for a while, hiding her cat ears under her little black bow until the truth came out completely on accident. And when she was finally able to trust them, the Fall of Beacon happened, her trauma with Adam came rearing its ugly head, and, blaming herself for Yang losing her arm, Blake left for Menagerie. (You can see in little details how high alert she is thru a lot of V4 and maybe even V5; off the top of my head, in the first V4 episode we see with her, when the captain of the ship to Menagerie approaches Blake, her immediate instinct is to reach for her weapon.) She didn't even trust herself for a very long time, and due to the horrible stuff she's seen, also had a hard time trusting other ppl

Then there's Yang, and gosh, she's been thru sm too. After she lost not one but two moms, her trust issues seem to manifest more in a fear of abandonment. Near the start of the show she was largely motivated by her search for Raven, hoping to understand why she left—but when she meets Raven in V5, she almost instantly sees thru most of Raven's lies. When Blake left after the Fall of Beacon, Yang had a harder time than the rest with it (see: the whole "Why isn't she here for me?" conversation she had with Weiss in V5), and even had a harder time accepting her return (the awkward air between them for the majority of V6 was palpable)

When Blake and Yang killed Adam and defeated some of their inner demons in the process, not only did they feel able to fully start trusting one another again, but I think it may have helped them to start trusting others, as well

Iirc Blake and Yang were talking about Adam right before they spoke to Robyn about Amity. Now I'm wondering, was that just a coincidence? Or was it a suble acknowledgement of their character development together?

Of course they didn't know whether Robyn could be trusted with that info, but the fact that they were willing to give it a shot demonstrates a lot. And I don't think it's stupidity, or naiveté. I think it is an amazing point in the development of Blake and Yang, a mark of their willingness to trust in the world again

And in hindsight, we can say it was a generally good choice. It was a little rocky at first, with the damage it caused to Ironwood's trust in RWBY. But for a wonderful fleeting moment, it led to James Ironwood and Robyn Hill (of all the ppl who could work together!), once diametrically opposed, standing in unity to help the ppl of Atlas and Mantle...

Well... Until the Black Queen arrived. But we covered that already

Also I totally agree with you that certain corners of the FNDM do the Happy Huntresses dirty. I mean, disagreeing with their methods from a political standpoint is whatever, but like... don't mix them up with the bad guys. They're rly not. They looked at the blantant inequalities between Atlas and Mantle, said "We won't stand for this", and started working for change. I'm pretty sure it was even said that they were all graduates of Atlas Academy that theoretically could have joined the military and done well in it—but they chose not to. Bcus they felt protecting Mantle was more important than upholding the Atlesian status quo. Bcus they too were hurt by the toxic culture of Atlas and decided to make it so that the ppl of the future didn't have the same struggles. (And honestly I think they made the right choice. Look what obeying the status quo did to the Ace Ops. Half of them are dead and the other half are super traumatized now, if they weren't already.) Good for the Happy Huntresses

Also briefly circling back to the Semblance conversation! I love Robyn's Semblance from the whole "manifestation of the soul" outlook bcus I think it fits her as a person so well. I mean, Lie Detection? For someone who is so unbending in her pursuit of the truth? For someone who will always stand up for what she believes in no matter the scorn she may receive? YES, I love it! And it even checks the boxes of having an additional layer of a setback: When empathizing with Qrow in V8, Robyn explains that having a Semblance that could detect lies led to it becoming difficult to make connections in her childhood bcus ppl were scared she would sniff out their secrets. Lie Detection is probably one of my favorite Semblances, despite its simplicity, purely from a storytelling pov

[34goingon9]

Who Hurt Her Before She Knew She Was Hurt?

I talked about my childhood panic attacks before, and this post is an extension of that.

Moreover than the panic, I also had an embarrassing and uncontrollable tic as a child that would manifest as a result of a high emotional state- be it anxiety or even excitement. I would give myself an aggressive hug and use every ounce of strength my tiny arms could squeeze into my body..all while digging my teeth into the skin of my right arm and/or forcing my fist into my cheek. I would try my best to hide the extreme look of release of tension overtaking my face behind my limbs and turning my head while diverting my gaze (I imagine this to be the equivalent of a childhood the “Kim Kardashian ugly crying face” meme). Humiliated by this outburst that I could not stop, I would try to pretend I was just performing a giant stretch. Shockingly, my classmates and peers were much more astute than a neurodivergent kid would hope and based on the looks of that photo, it doesn’t appear I was as good of an actress or yoga instructor as I thought, either.

I do not know when this behavior began, or why this overwhelming need to self soothe would take over my tiny body like an exorcism. I do know it existed prior to my mom’s death, as not only evidenced by the date of this photo but also because of her frustration at how I would destroy my clothing when I would suppress the urge by chewing on the sleeves and drawstrings of all of my shirts and sweaters- the wet fabric chafing my chin and wrist, dehydrating the cotton, and putting holes in everything like an infestation of anxious, hungry moths after hours of feasting on end.

Furthermore, I talk about this arm biting -which is something reminiscent of The Lion King with Ed the Hyena savagely gnawing himself- like it’s past tense, yet it still exists in present day. And I still am dominated by this pervasive need for oral fixation via other outlets which I have unfortunately found in vapes over the years. Nonetheless, after countless attempts, I finally managed to kick that habit which was hellish and a feat to overcome considering it was often told to me how I would still incessantly use it even while sleeping. I am glad Freud is not my therapist to give me an interpretation on this one, though.

The decades of abuse on my wrist has literally left me with what has been adoringly referred to by my friends as my ‘werewolf patch.’ The skin is ever-dry and comparable to the hyde of an elephant in a famine in which the only thing that grows in this climate is a thick, discolored, brown dry grass much like a stubborn tumbleweed that forced its way through the arid terrain.

I still harbor my childhood insecurities to date whenever this tic takes over. It’s weird, I don’t even realize always when I’m doing it, the action is noticeable, it inflicts obvious injury, and most of all.. I have no idea why I started doing it in the first place-among various other peculiarities I have not all nearly mentioned, as many of which are difficult areas to revisit and discuss. I do know from not just my education but my own intuition that these behaviors -both individually and cumulative- are demonstrative of something larger that happened. An unknown traumatic event(s) that occurred before the onslaught of known traumas that began at age nine.

Until I am able to explore my inner psyche enough to answer that question, and if I choose to even try to ever access that part of my deep past or subconscious, I can choose to look at that photo in a way that reframes things to: “I love the similarities in mannerisms between me and my mom,” even if hers is an intentional and well controlled pose.

[ajwinter-is-a-nerd]

Le Chat Et Le Serpent - Chapter 10

Please note that the entirety of this story is a ****TRIGGER WARNING***** - mentions of child abuse, graphic violence, alcohol use, mental health, suicide, suicidal ideation, self-harm - basically a constant blow of pain towards the characters - as well as some "steamier" moments.

Chapter Summary:

Chat and Ladybug chat after their win over the Akuma - they want each other's support, but still have to deal with the fact that they are angry at one another.

Ladybug tells Adrien something that begins to sour his night.

We see a different side of Chloe.

Chat Needs a Hug.

Chapter 10: Etiquette and Self-Despair

Chat and Ladybug sat upon the Eiffel Tower, embracing their familiar view. 

“I can’t stay for too long Kitty, but it’s nice seeing you on the chase again.” Ladybug’s eyes sparkled towards Chat. 

“Didn’t think you’d get rid of me that easily, did you?” Chat grinned, momentarily forgetting his anger. 

“I was worried. With the disappearance of Akumas, I thought… I thought something bad happened.” Her blue bells began to water. “And when I saw you last time, you seemed so… I thought I lost my Chat.” 

Chat pulled her into a hug. “Didn’t you know? The cat always comes back, M’Lady.” 

She rubbed her snuffles, comforted by Chat’s warmth. Not wanting to separate herself from him, she lowered her head to his lap; Chat kept an arm around her, modifying his hold as she shifted down. “Promise you won’t disappear like that on me again?”

“Cross my heart.” Chat softly ran an ‘x’ over his chest. 

Focusing on the task at hand, Ladybug shifted topics. “I think the new holder of the butterfly Miraculous is Felix Graham de Vanily.” 

“He never did give Barkk back, did he?” Chat had already assumed Gabriel and Felix had made a shifty deal. 

“No, but that’s not even the strangest part. The rest of the Miraculous’ just popped up in my room one day. Rena and I have been trying to work with what the Kwamis could tell us, but we don’t have anything substantial besides the Felix lead.” Her face, illuminated yellow by the Parisian lights, slightly scrunched at her train of thought. 

Hearing no response, Ladybug tilted her head to Chat’s puzzled expression. He’d been slightly irked that Nathalie had kept her actions from him; but at this moment, it enabled his reaction to match that of someone who knew nothing of Papillion’s identity. 

Nathalie just dropped them off? How does she know Ladybug’s identity? Did she have help? Were the two of them really that close to taking us down before Felix came along? 

“See? Quite mysterious.” Ladybug broke Chat’s train of thoughts. 

“Basically,” Chat rested a claw on his chin, “either the new villain really likes a challenge, or someone intercepted Papillion themselves? I doubt Felix, or any power hungry twat for that matter, would take the butterfly and simply give back the others.” 

“Yes, it feels like a win - just a very perplexing one.” She knew they were missing something big. Chat’s bewilderment squandered her last bit of hope that he held a piece of the puzzle. 

“How are we going to get to Felix?” Chat asked with no attempt to hide his spite. 

“Rena and I have already searched anywhere we think he could have gone. His mother filed a missing persons report and did not appreciate our visit.” Ladybug cringed at the reminder of the blonde, porting the same green jewelled eyes as Adrien, screaming and belittling her for accusing her son. Amelie thought that Felix was hurt in the battle; that they were failing as defenders by suspecting him. 

“She’s scared,” Chat whispered. 

“I know, Chaton. Whether he is the villain or not, he’s still her son.” Ladybug felt a tinge of guilt at the indecency of her prior tone. “But we didn’t know what else to do. We still can’t find anything on Lila. It’s as if she disappeared in the wind.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. Her mom probably hasn’t even realised she’s not home.” Chat leaned his head to the railing, hoping that Ladybug did not catch on to the degree of personal knowledge. 

“The last person we have to look into is Adrien Agreste.” The words may have stung Ladybug as she exhaled them, but they violently struck Chat as he heard them. 

Chat forced himself to calm down by thinking of Luka. He imagined his calming voice, his comforting touch, his oceanic eyes. Breathe. “Do you think he’s involved?” 

“I don’t want to believe that.” She stated with more confidence than she carried. “But, he’s our best chance at finding Felix.” 

“Are you sure he’s ready for that?” Chat wasn’t sure if he was asking her or himself. “Didn’t he just come out of the hospital?” 

Sensing a shift in tension, Ladybug sat upright once again. “Um, that was actually a factor in my decision to let the holders reveal their identities to each other.” 

Chat tried to hide the ‘ fuck, fuck, fuck’  that was ceaselessly running through his head. Adrien being introduced to the pack would likely carry an expectation that Chat was there. “Okay.” Chat grit his teeth, awaiting more information. 

“A lot of our team knows Adrien personally. If he feels like he’s being investigated, at least it would be by people he trusts. It might also help him feel safe after…” her voice trailed at the image of Adrien in his hospital gown. 

“So your plan is that everyone is going to just show up and say ‘oh hey Adrien, we just need access to your personal information and are going to be watching you like hawks because *guess what* we’re super heroes!’” Chat dramatically gestured with each word. 

Dipping her head, Ladybug distracted herself with her fingers. “We’re going to have a meeting tomorrow to discuss it.” 

“We?” The fire grew within Chat as he motioned to himself and Ladybug. “No, obviously not us. You and your team.” 

“You should be there Chat!” Ladybug urged. 

“Why? So I can be a passive observer as you, Alya, Nino, Luka, and the others can just casually talk about your infiltration that I have no say in?” Chat purposefully stated the identities he already knew to emphasise his impact. “You expect me to simply silently assent  as holders reveal themselves to a civilian ?Just like I had no say in everyone else getting to share their identities?”

“Chaton… this decision was not made lightly. I considered and discussed the consequences before implementing it.” As a subconscious defence mechanism, Ladybug’s vision fixated onto the bustling city before them. 

“Oh, from Alya, the person that you have who you can share your identity with?” Chat clawed. Even though he had Viperion to confide in, she didn’t know that. 

“YOU WEREN’T THERE!” Ladybug jumped to her feet screaming, causing Chat to droop. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry. This is just an im-paw-sible situation.” Chat knew he went too far. 

“I wanted to make these decisions with you.” Ladybug’s lips trembled as her tears ran. “I didn’t want anyone else by my side. You said you would be there. You said you wouldn’t leave.” 

Chat stood to hold the railing beside her. “Like I told you before, I never wanted to leave you. I promise, if it was up to me, you would’ve had to deal with me every night.” Trying to lighten the mood, he added, “Plus, I did cross my heart - so now I’m officially bound.” 

Ladybug, unsuccessfully, tried to hide her amusement at Chat’s comment. Seeing that her edges had softened, he pulled her against him. 

“We managed without you, but your absence was always apparent. You’re irreplaceable, Kitty.” Ladybug pecked him on his cheek before she pushed away. “Tomorrow, the meeting, at eighteen hours in the wax museum. The curator is letting us use a closed exhibit.” 

“I’ll be there.” Chat confirmed as he watched her zip away. Once she was out of his sight, he shook his head in disbelief. 

Flash your babydoll eyes all you want, I know I was replaced long before I got out of the hospital. 

-

“Man, it is so weird to be here after what happened. Why do you think Adriens old man offed himself?” Nino carelessly asked as himself, Luka, and Alya stood in Adrien’s room feeding their Kwamis. 

Luka ignored his comment, distracting himself by observing what Adrien had in his room; Alya, however, gave Nino a sharp jab. 

Adrien's room was littered with Ladybug memorabilia. 

“It was nice having Chat back, hey?” Luka was searching to identify what they knew. 

“Yeah, so weird that he left Ladybug high and dry. Considering how much that dude loves her, something must have come up.” Nino’s response indicated to Luka that Ladybug had not shared Chat’s illness. Luka began sifting through a stack of Ladybug photos, increasing his envious reaction to Nino’s comment. 

“Maybe he’ll tell us more at the meeting tomorrow.” Alya joined Luka’s Ladybug snooping. 

Luka’s fingers tightened around the photos. “What meeting?” 

“Oh shit, dude, I was supposed to tell you, there’s a meeting tomorrow about Adrien.” Nino chimed in. 

Luka couldn’t imagine why Ladybug would get Nino to tell him above anyone else. Alya would have at least remembered. “And Chat’s going to be there?” 

“That’s probably what they’re talking about now.” Alya set the images she was holding back down. 

Sass, seeing the distress building in Luka, spoke to the room. “You should all get back, it might begin to appear suspicious if you stay in Adrien’s room for too long.”

Grateful for Sass’ intervention, Luka nodded. 

Alya began pushing Nino out of the room as Luka slowly trailed behind them. Checking his phone, he saw ‘one new message from Adrien’. 

Adrien: Did you know?! That the whole team is freely talking about identities? Or that I’m about to have an entourage that will endanger my ability to do ANYTHING? 

Groaning, Luka walked towards the railing. He scanned for Adrien amidst the pulsating crowd. 

Thanks to the densely populated room, Adrien easily reentered without bringing attention to himself. He couldn’t help but shiver at the familiar feeling that no one seemed to notice, or cared, that he was gone. Searching through the gyrating guests, he worked to find someone he wasn’t irritated with. Which, considering the celebration, was an oddly daunting task. His pubescent dream of having a room full of people, just for his birthday, had come true; but akin to any real dream, it was not the utopic experience he imagined. 

Adrien chuckled at the irony as he spotted the yellow jacket berating the bartender. Of course the one person that’s managed to piss everyone else off was the one person he wasn’t mad at. Misery loves company, and I could use a drink anyway. 

“Adrikens!” Chloe shouted as he approached the bar. She jumped on him, causing him to instinctively lift her in a hug. “Do you like your party?” 

“I am undeserving of your greatness!” Adrien joked as he bowed, holding her hand in front of him. 

“Oh, it was really nothing.” She blushed as she returned a courtesy. “Have you tried your drink yet?” 

“I have a drink?” Considering he rarely indulged, he was surprised to learn that he had a cocktail crafted in his design. 

“Of course! It’s a little bit fruity.” She paused to allow him to catch her joke. “Passion fruit syrup, bourbon, fresh mint, soda, and a squeeze of lime.” 

“Aweh, fruity with a kick.” Adrien grinned as he nodded to the bartender to pour him one. 

“Quite in character, if I do say so myself.” Chloe glowed at her successful choice of beverage. “Also, it’s still low calorie for your self-obsession over image.” 

“Hey!” Adrien pushed out his lower lip as he reached for his drink. “It’s not like I was given much of a choice!” 

Smirking, Chloe tapped the bar. “We’ll get two shots of tequila too.” 

Before the bartender had a chance to fill the glasses, Adrien had nearly finished his cocktail. The warmth of the bourbon softened his stance. “Make that four,” he sucked the last drops of his drink, “and another one of these.”

“Ooo, you came to play, Agreste.” 

He picked up the first shot, indicating a cheers. “To drinking to forget.”  

Both of them swung their heads to the side as their faces puckered at the tequila.  

“Are you sure you want to forget that cutie checking you out?” Chloe, with her shot glass still in hand, motioned to Luka at the railing above. 

Groaning, Adrien turned to the next set of shots. “If I drink enough, maybe I’ll forget the last hour too.” 

Clinking once again, he downed his third ounce of liquor. 

“Hey, at least he’s still looking at you. Sabrina pretends I’m a ghost.” Chloe stared into the empty shot glass. 

“It’s her loss!” Adrien kissed Chloe on the cheek as he grabbed his freshly filled drink. “I gotta deal with a brooding blue haired man.” 

“Don’t do anything stupid, Adrikens!” Chloe said in a jovial tone, but with serious intent. 

“Oh, you haven’t heard? Gabriel ensured that I was the image of perfection. I’m not allowed to be stupid.” He motioned over his body, slightly spilling his drink. 

With rolled eyes, Chloe turned back to the bartender. “Why is my drink empty? Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!” 

“Those went down fast,” Luka stated as Adrien stumbled towards him. 

“Yeah, I figured out that someone pretty important to me was hiding something.” Adrien sipped his drink to force away the emerging ache. “Just like everyone else.” 

“Adrien, I didn’t know.” Luka went to brush the hair from Adrien’s eyes. 

Pushing Luka’s hand away, Adrien continued to bask in his self-loathing. “No, I get it. You don’t need to throw scraps to the stray cat.” 

“Stop.” Luka growled. 

Adrien’s head bobbed as he watched the crowd below him. “None of these people will notice if I’m gone.” 

Luka grabbed Adrien’s hand and pulled him into his room, slamming the door behind him. Before Luka could open his mouth, Plagg jumped out. 

“I would notice! I WOULD! You need to pull yourself together!” Plagg yowled in anguish. 

Adrien slumped against the door, allowing it to lead him to the floor. “I’m trying.” Tears began to pull to the surface. “No matter what I do, I’m just fucked. Why would anyone else want to be around me?” His voice had lowered to a whisper. “I don’t want to be around me.” 

Luka sat in front of Adrien, but once again, Plagg interjected. 

“No one wants to be around you? This house is full! Snake Boy is basically crying over you. And what about me? Stop telling yourself no one else cares to make it easier for you to hate yourself.” 

Adrien defiantly finished his drink while fighting with his tears. 

“That’s more blunt than I would have said it, but he’s right.” Luka ran the back of his fingers along Adrien’s cheek. 

“You agree that you’re basically crying over me?” Adrien chided through his tears, now flowing without resistance. 

Luka raised one side of his lips and titled his head to indicate a partial agreement. 

“You really didn’t know?” Adrien’s watery eyes met Luka’s. 

Luka tensed his lips as he slowly shook his head.

“Okay.” Adrien allowed his anger to evaporate. Laying on the ground, he set his head in Luka’s lap. 

“You really are a cat at heart, aren’t you?” Luka scratched behind his ear, inciting a small purr. 

“Meow,” Adrien mimicked claws in the air, bringing a laugh to Luka’s lips. 

“I love your laugh.” Adrien’s words were barely audible. 

For the first time, in the years that Luka had known him, Adrien’s melody was a gentle harmony. 

The door forcibly swung open, sending Plagg to transambulate through the nearest dresser. Chloe, visibly inebriated, began talk-shouting. “How dare she ignore my existence, for MONTHS, and then she finally speaks to me to - get this - introduce me to her new girlfriend!” 

Adrien wasn’t ready to leave his place on Luka’s lap. “That bitch.” His empty words were muffled by Luka’s jeans. 

“Seriously! The gall of that girl!” Chloe huffed while pouring tequila into three plastic cups she had taken from downstairs. 

“There’s no way she was as pretty as you, Chlo.” Adrien’s lips curled to a smile as Luka continued petting him. 

“Well, of course not, but that’s not the point!” Chloe shoved one of the cups into Luka’s hand.

Luka was enjoying being a passive observer in their interaction. Most of the stories he’d heard about Chloe up to this point were spoken with distaste; but, when Chloe and Adrien were together both of their masks fell. Adrien’s responses were automatic, a sign of practised familiarity. Luka went to sip at the neat tequila that Chloe had poured him, but was stopped by Chloe’s finger curling around the edge of his cup as she continued to talk. 

“It was just so rude! You have to at least have the awkward ex ‘oh hey, yeah my life’s been great’ conversation before you bring a new girl into the house!” Luka watched in bewilderment as she squeezed a lime, that seemingly appeared out of thin air, into his drink. She pushed it back to him without skipping a beat. “That’s, like, etiquette right?” 

“You can’t expect everyone to be as poised as you, that’s an impossible bar.” Adrien continued to nuzzle further into Luka’s lap. 

Luka sipped at his drink with a silly grin. 

“Duh! But that is just common sense. Like, you, blue hair,” Chloe snapped her fingers at Luka. 

“His name is Luka, Chloe.” 

“Ugh, fine, Luka! You had the awkward ex chat before dating anyone else after that awful Du-Pain Cheng girl, didn’t you?” 

Taking a larger swig to allow his cheeks to puff, Luka nodded. He did not want to think about the Marinette-loves-Adrien mess. 

“See, even dock workers have common decency.” Her opaque words were softened by her pulling Luka’s cup closer once again. 

Keeping his head still, Adrien lifted his gaze to her. “Chloe, if you insult Luka one more time, I’m going to bring Sabrina’s new girlfriend up here.” 

“*Gasp* you wouldn’t!” She flung her hand to her mouth.

“Be nice to Luka, we like him.” 

“Ugh, fine!” She acted as if she hadn’t already approved of Luka, and wasn’t continually checking his drink level in an attempt to take care of him. 

Amused, Luka returned to sipping his drink. 

“Just come back to the party Adrikens, pleeaaassseee,” she began to whine. 

“Depends.” Adrien began to raise his head from Luka’s lap. 

Before Chloe had a chance to question the dependent factor, Adrien pressed his cheekbone against Luka’s face. “What do you think, Luka?” 

“Pleaaaassseeee,” Chloe shuffled on her knees towards Luka. 

Luka wrapped his arm behind Adrien, enabling him to brush his finger along Adrien’s flushed cheek. “It’s hard to say no to that,” he lightheartedly replied. 

“Ha! That’s exactly what my dad says!” She bounded to her feet. 

“And that’s a whole other bag of problems for a different night.” Adrien smoothly stood to his feet, offering a hand to Luka. 

“Well don’t just go airing my dirty laundry, now!” Chloe playfully snapped as she pushed the drink she had poured for Adrien into his hands. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” 

Smiling, Chloe smoothed Adrien’s clothes and patted down his stray hair. As a final touch, she pecked him on the cheek, and pushed his chin high. “Perfect. Let’s go, birthday boy.” 

The buzzing warmth that Adrien had flooded through Luka was quick to fall once they stepped out of the doorway. Regret coursed through Luka as Adrien switched to socialite mode. 

Author's Notes:

In case anyone was wondering, when Chat was "gesturing dramatically" I couldn't stop picturing Deadpool.

Disclaimer * The characters and original plot were written and created by Thomas Astruc. This writing is merely an interpretation in a sad gay type of way.

[black-licorice-lingerie]

A Look Into Billy Lenz’s Personality (from the book)

Okay so this is going to be my own interpretation of what we learn in the Black Christmas novelization. Specifically, I’m going to be going over the things Billy says. If you’re a huge fan of Black Christmas, or just Billy Lenz and you wish to learn more about him or the whole story, I highly suggest you go check it out right here: (https://100vampirenovels.net/pdf-novels/black-christmas-by-lee-hays-free).

That being said, let’s take a peak at Billy’s personality:

Based on what my 2 am notes describe, Billy is very much socially awkward as the story makes it clear that Billy really wants to communicate with the sorority house beyond using the telephone. Billy actually HATES using the telephone (shocker I know), but is SO shy at talking with others that he can’t help but hide away and establish a distanced method of speaking. This pretty much tells us that Billy can’t help but be afraid of interacting with other people. Billy’s social ineptitude is even shown near the part where he viciously stabs Barb to death. Upon seeing Jess and Barb talk to each other about nightmares and Peter, Billy is depicted as really longing for the kind of communication Jess and Barb are showing.

Another, but small note on Billy’s personality is that he comes across as a bit judgmental. When Barb picks up the phone and talks to her mom about life and such, she gets a bit sassy in attitude. Billy, of course listening to this, begins to judge Barb for daring to speak to her own mother that way. He’s bewildered from Barb having the courage to speak to her mother, an authority figure, in such a snappy tone. Interestingly enough, this points that Billy knows social standards (how and how not to talk to people), but can’t bring himself to properly talk with people to display his mannerism knowledge.

A BIG aspect of Billy’s personality is, without a doubt, insecurity. When Clare is packing her belongings to leave the sorority house, she suspects that Claude is in the room. She calls out to Claude, calling him names for being a silly pet. Billy, who was hiding in the fucking closet for whatever reason, hears this and actually thinks she’s talking about him. After feeling insulted, Billy lost it and murdered Clare with a plastic bag. The thoughts in his head say that he didn’t mean, or want to murder Clare, but that she “left him no choice” for “bullying” him. Clare’s death is an example of how anxious Billy is about himself, showing how he thought a casual conversation towards a cat was about him. He does NOT like being insulted to the point where he reacts violently. Billy has the urge to drastically “defend” himself when he feels insulted in any way.

Possessiveness also seems to be a personality trait of Billy. After having murdered the shit out of Clare and stashing her body up in the attic, he recognizes her father visiting the sorority house. Obviously, Clare’s father is trying to figure out what the fuck happened to her, but Billy’s annoyed at this. Billy describes Clare (at least her corpse) in a way you’d describe an item. Billy’s irritated at Clare’s father coming about and looking for her, because in Billy’s sick mind (the story in his POV), Clare belongs to him now. So not only is Billy hyper-aggressive when he feels insulted, but he has the sick urge to add insult to injury by “claiming” the body of his victims as his toy-like belongings. Clare “insulted” him, and she “paid” for it. To make himself feel better, Billy takes Clare’s body up into where he’s staying, a twisted mimicry of a child getting a toy, or obtaining a friend. That way, Clare surely won’t “mock” Billy anymore, as he now “owns” her.

However, Billy also has self awareness. The story later begins to show that Billy doesn’t like what his mind forces him to believe, and how he behaves. When Mrs. MacHenry is searching the house for Claude, Billy hopes that she doesn’t reach the attic because once she does, he won’t be able to stop himself. Billy hates this about himself.

In conclusion…Billy is clearly mentally ill. Very, very mentally ill. It’s shown that Billy is aware of how to behave towards others, and does (in fact) have a sense of right and wrong since his murderous actions come back to disgust him. However, he’s also very incapable of properly establishing communication between himself and other people. He’s also violently insecure about himself, along with being possessive towards others. He sees that what he does is awful, and even knows the ins and outs of how one should treat authority figures. 

Billy’s personality is under an attack of cognitive dissonance, leading him to even more stress. Deep down inside, despite the sociopathic behaviors, Billy hates that this is an uncontrollable aspect of his brain. Billy wants to be a normal person, Billy wants to be liked, and he doesn’t want to rely on the telephone just to get issues off of his chest. However, something, or some things happened in Billy’s past if he can’t help but behave so hellacious. Billy was so abused and traumatized by events in his childhood, that despite his morality (self sufficient or taught), he can’t help but put on a fight in the name of defending himself. Whatever ridicule, beating, and verbal abuse Billy encountered has cemented into his brain, establishing a psychological illness that leaves him incapable of navigating unfavorable situations other than “attack, attack, attack”.

Billy not being able to control his horrendous actions points to an error in his mind. However, there are many mental illnesses that create a warped view of reality, and a hindered ability to control oneself. So while Billy definitely suffers from a psychological disorder, it’s impossible to get an idea of what exactly he may have...until we use his phone calls to analyze his history and how his mind interprets it, but we’ll have to save that for later in the day.

Anyways, this was my particular analysis of (1974) Billy Lenz’s personality! I wish you all a good ass week, at least better than how I’m reacting to my online class assignments. Remember, stay a simp for slashers.

[greensaplinggrace]

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

[doverstar]

So I’ve just started reading your fics (and I’m trying to be better about leaving comments, so I’ll save the positive feedback for A03!)… but I am right on with you as far as seeing wish fulfillment between Eddie and Chrissy in fic, how he’s crazy perceptive and is her missing puzzle piece, because that’s what the readers want for themselves.

As far as Chrissy’s portrayal as a person who hates her life, or who is all alone, I kind of get it. Not because I think it’s “actual,” but it’s very true from her point of view. As someone who had an ED disorder and was in love with someone with bulimia, it is at heart a disorder that skews your perception of lots of things. We see Chrissy alone (for the very few scenes we do see her) because that’s how she feels - alone in a crowd - not because that’s what’s really happening. She is a very unreliable narrator, similar to how what she “hears” her mother say in that episode probably is what she interprets or what Henry/Vecna has embellished. To me, Laura was less outright abusive, more that she was hurtful in a careless way to a very sensitive soul like Chrissy.

Keeping the secret of an ED also makes you feel more separate, because you’re hiding something. You’re sure you’re gross and weak and no one would understand. Then you project this outside armor of being stuck up or weirdly private, so even though you desperately want connection, you are unconsciously pushing people away. I think Chrissy was surrounded by “friends,” but couldn’t see or appreciate them.

Anyway, sorry to bend your inbox! I’ve loved the meta on your page and just wanted to offer another perspective. I’m writing a Chrissy that brings up a lot of the issues I’m mentioning and your posts have really helped me zero in on why I’m writing her this way.

Hello! I love it when people bend my inbox. I love it. Bend it any time! I appreciate you taking time to read anything I've written; that means a lot. Can't wait to see any comments you might toss out! I will say, I don't know if you've seen it already or not, but I did mention something similar (if not the same exact thing) about possible perceptions of Laura and her reasoning behind mistreating her kid. It is altogether possible that she was abusive by being careless with her words, not being intentionally cruel but also not being intentionally kind when her daughter needed it. Thank you for that insight! I've never personally had an ED, but I've known at least two people who have, and I have at least some grasp on how they think from those friendships. Not a firm enough one that I feel comfortable defining Chrissy's problems as that explicitly, but it's definitely going to be hinted at throughout my fic that her relationship with food and her own self-image is broken. Like I've said, I think Chrissy is miserable. I think, especially if we're talking about an AU or even my own fic, surviving Vecna would get her to a point of realizing that she is kind of sick of her life. Not the good parts of it, the bad parts. The parts where her mom makes her feel like crap and she hates her own body. She doesn't hate her friends, she doesn't hate her boyfriend, she doesn't hate her whole life. She hates the parts that hurt and make things harder and got her to the point where she made an easy target for Vecna. She does feel alone (at least my interpretation of her), but only because yeah, she has kind of isolated herself. I write her that way almost subconsciously, because I've seen people with EDs do that and I've done it myself when I feel insecure enough or miserable enough. It's the natural course of action. If you don't like yourself and you don't like your life, or you're hiding something because of those two perceptions, you really don't want to be around people or have people get close.

It's not me writing a cliched, dramatized version of a teenage girl who's "not like other girls" because she's depressed or has an eating disorder or feels pain no one understands. (I hope!) Lots of people would probably understand it if she'd just open up. Chrissy surely isn't the only one in her circle going through crap. She just doesn't let anyone in until Vecna strikes, because that's the beginning of a breaking point for her. Part of that feels like just being a teenager to me, and part of it is just the organic way humans behave. Poor girl needs help and she's unwilling to ask for it.

Until a licorice demon comes for her.

I'm glad any bloviating on my part has helped you write in any way! I bet whatever you're working on is great. Thanks for offering a different perspective, too; that was super helpful/interesting to read!

[cinnamonest]

Suffering major yandere xiao brainrot and this idea has been on my mind for a minute and I wanna share it with you

With all the talk of preggo darlings it got some gears turning

TW/ unhealthy/forced/abusive relationships, implied noncon, pregnancy

Imagine Xiao's darling (who's also half adeptus) has been with him for centuries...but actually, it's a consensual "relationship". At first at least. Like they knew each other since he came into Rex Lapis' care (let's say darling was also with Rex for whatever reason) and grew to be quite close. She was there for him throughout his struggles, from helping him adjust to his life free from the evil god, to him becoming a yaksha, to him dealing with losing the other yaksha, and to his growing Karma, etc. So evidently, he develops a rather strong...attachment towards her.

It then becomes a very codependent relationship--moreso on Xiao's side because he sees her as a means to keep what's left of his sanity. Her presence eases his suffering in a way, so he needs her, by his side, with him at all times with nobody else. He becomes extremely possessive over her-- "who is that person? why are you speaking to them? i don't trust them, you should stay away from them" "do you really need to leave liyue? it's not safe out there with all the demons wandering about, you do not have the strength to defend yourself. it is best that you stay here with me." and so on. Darling is just super naive and doesn't even fight him at first, just listens to him regardless. Eventually he manages to pretty much keep her captive with him at some isolated house in the woods (or even a teapot) and if she tries to leave or even go outside, he's always making up excuses and telling her why she shouldn't, and if she continues to resist him, that's when he gets angry and resorts to using force. It's not like she can fight against him, a yaksha, when she's just a mere weakling halfbreed.

Then one day, his karma begins to start acting up again (and whenever it does, let's just say things get pretty bad for his darling) and as he goes to her to seek comfort, he finds her trying to escape again.

Then he snaps. Ends up fucking his darling up pretty bad (in both ways)

Then she ends up becoming pregnant

And by some miracle, she SOMEHOW manages to escape, and go into hiding. For a good long while, for a least a decade or two. Xiao is literally losing his mind, dealing with karma, slaying demons, and trying to hunt her down; meanwhile Darling finds a comfy little cabin not too far from Liyue, and raises her child on her own.

Years (or decade) later, she and the child go out into the forest for a nice little picnic lunch. The kid manages to wander off deeper into the woods and, uh oh, stumbles into a camp of awaiting hilchurls (however you spell them idk) . BUT THEN--Xiao comes and saves the day, effortlessly destroying the monster and saves the kid (who he didn't yet realize was his)

He turns to the kid (and is sus on how much they resembles him) and is like "hey kid, it's not safe for you out here"

and the kids all "it's okay, my mom is with me!"

Xiao's like, 'what kinda irresponsible parent brings their child to a dangerous area like this one, bring me to them' and the kids like 'kay!' and brings xiao to meet their mother

Meanwhile Darling is panicking over her lost kid, then she hears voices approaching. Her kid comes rushing towards her and as she turns to thank the stranger for helping them BAM! She's standing face to face with Xiao

(I'm sorry this got so long and is incoherent af, I just wanted to get this idea off me chest)

NICE NICE I love this!! Just. Xiao’s face going from shock to disbelief to fury. Poor darling’s face going from shock to terror. And the kid is just “:)???” the whole time.

Tbh it’s hard to say what his exact reaction would be, but my boy is not known for subtlety or self-restraint. He’s not gonna try to put on a good act just bc there’s a kid or anything, the kid’s presence doesn’t really make a difference. Nor is he the type to give up after so long, if anything darling’s absence has just made him more unstable, more needy. 

Honestly the most likely course of action is just snatching her up right then and there -- one good knock to the head and she’s out. The poor kid is confused and thinks he’s hurting her, but he tells the kid it’s ok -- she needed to go to sleep, it’s an adult thing the kid wouldn’t understand. Tells the kid to follow. He has a home to take you both to. You’ll all live there happy together.

[unhealthyfanobsession]

How would you compare the ACOTAR ships to TVD ships? Some people say Feysand is like Delena.

This is SUCH A FUN ASK!! Don’t mind if I do! I’m going to compare the general dynamic of the characters as well as archetype/ story parallels.

This is a crossover post so SPOILERS FOR BOTH ACOTAR AND TVD BELOW.

Stefan-Elena-Damon = Tamlin-Feyre-Rhysand

I don’t mean to do Stefan dirty like this, but the parallels are really undeniable. Stefan and Tamlin both were the kind, caring, magical first introduction to this whole new world for Feyre/Elena. They fell in love with them easily and it was a pure, beautiful love but while they were in it there were darker (Damon and Rhys) forces pulling them in another direction. Both women loved these men SO fiercely and sacrificed for that love. Feyre fought the 3 trials with Amarantha where she ended up being helped by Rhys. Elena went looking for Stefan in his ripper days even though Klaus would kill her if he found her and she was helped by Damon. Both of them fought for this love but then once they had it back... either they or the man or both had changed too much from the trauma and their relationship simply couldn’t work anymore.

I totally agree with the Feysand= Delena point because I think they are both relationships that are very “this person over everyone else no matter what” and that is romantic, but at we see, can also be overbearing/toxic at times. They both do awful things that the heroine has to later learn their motives for and forgive them for. Damon “kills” Jeremy and tries to compel Elena to kiss him early on. He feeds Elena his blood against her will when Klaus might kill her but then he ultimately makes it right through self sacrificing hero acts. Rhys does... everything he did under the mountain and he doesn’t tell Feyre she’s his mate, but then he helps her heal after Tamlin and ultimately saves Prythian. Both characters are also haunted by an abusive relationship- Rhysand a sexually abusive relationship with Amarantha that he endured for 49 years and Damon and emotionally abusive/manipulative relationship with Katherine that defined his life for 150 years.

Damon has a quote in season 4 that I think really describes both couples. He says: “if you’re going to be bad, be bad with a purpose. Otherwise you just aren’t worth forgiving.”

Klaroline = Nessian

This one is more based on character interactions and a bit of my own bias. I struggled to find a TRUE nessian parallel couple but I think Klaroline is the closest for a number of reasons. Largely because Caroline and Nesta are very similar characters. Both start off as shallow, superficial mean girls who we get an early glimpse of their heart (Caroline crying and her I’m never the one monologue and Nesta being on Feyre’s side when she returns in ACOTAR) who then get changed into something they never wanted to be and it helps them grow and OWN THEIR P O W E R. Even Caroline’s stint as emotionless mess after her mom’s death parallels Nesta’s destructive actions after losing her father.

Cassian and Klaus both have the whole “I’m a worthless bastard that no one wants and I killed my father but I am STRONGER THAN EVERYONE so you can’t hurt me even though I’m really just a soft boi who needs love” vibe going on.

And the CHASE. That’s the biggest parallel here. These are both couples where this powerful man walked in and said “that one” re the beautiful woman who hated them and then did not give up. But with both of them it’s a gentle chase. Klaus knows that Caroline is constantly trying to trick him but he doesn’t care because he just wants to spend time with her and whenever she is in danger he is there on the DOUBLE and does things he doesn’t want to do for her (ex- graduation, hiding/ protecting Stefan in season 6). Cassian knows that Nesta is going through a hard time after ACOMAF and he flies up to the House of Wind every damn day to see her even when she pushes him away and he instantly goes into fierce general I will kill mode if anyone threatens Nesta. Also both couples are prone to lashing out at each other (Caroline “terrible people” line; Klaus with his biting. Cassian “everyone hates you”; Nesta with her well... being Nesta LOL)

Bonus points for pet names and relentless teasing when they aren’t trying to kill each other.

Quote for them is when Caroline tells Klaus “anyone capable of love, is capable of being saved” I think that also has big Cassian @ Nesta in ACOSF energy.

(PS I did consider Nessian being Steroline but 1. I fucking hate that ship and 2. Stefan was never there for Caroline during the hard times which is the anti Cassian AND I think the for me it’s always you vibe just fits the intensity of Nessian better)

Kennett = Elriel

I’m not tagging this Elriel so don’t COME FOR ME. In my opinion, these are both ships that had some fun ~tension~ and are kinda sexy/enticing. Kol with his love of witches and their little graduation ghost adventure and Azriel with his attraction to Elain and saving her from Hybern. BUT ultimately I think the most interesting thing about these ships was their convenience. I think fans liked to put Bonnie with Kol in fanfics because it was an easy way to make Bonnie understand Elena and Caroline’s choice for a dark boi and it was just convenient. Likewise I think that Elriel is convenient in writing to simply throw Elain with the other bat brother and tie everything up in a neat little ribbon.

Mabekah= Elucien

In this comparison Rebekah is Lucien and Matt is Elain. This was a couple where one person started off with bad motives (Rebekah wanting to kill Matt at the ball; Lucien plotting with Hybern) but they have genuine feelings for the person once they get to know/are mated to them and you see that person is a much more complicated character than we previously saw. Rebekah and Lucien are both lost, lonely, and struggling to find where they fit in while Matt and Elain are both struggling but ultimately the much beloved “sweet” character who everyone is willing to die to protect. At first the sweet character avoids the villain character like the plague, but eventually things turn around and they see past their previous bad actions.

BonEnzo= Gwynriel

Talk about characters who have some trauma to heal together. Enzo was literally kept in a cage by the Whitmore’s for 50 years and abused much like Azriel in his dungeon. Gwyn has had to make unspeakable decisions in order to protect the greater good and suffer the horrible consequences for it- losing her twin to protect those children much like how Bonnie lost her grams to protect Stefan and Elena. Enzo started off interested in Caroline (like Azriel and Elain) and getting over an obsession with Lilly (Azriel and Mor) but was ultimately drawn to Bonnie for her strength, determination, and good heart despite everything she had been through. These are really all just characters that have been through the RINGER and need to find healing in each other’s arms but would never admit that’s what they are doing so it just happens slowly and one day they realize things don’t hurt as much anymore.

AND FINALLY:

Damon and Caroline= Nesta and Tomas

You know why. Damon doesn’t get off that easy just because he “changed”. He abused Caroline and I won’t be pretending in 2021 that he didn’t.

[someonefantastic]

Whumptober 2021 Masterlist

50,504 words. 31 angsty oneshots. A whole month's worth of Psych fics written for Whumptober 2021. Buckle up folks for it's gonna be a bumpy ride. Links, warnings, and summaries are under the cut.

start from the beginning on ao3

Day 1 - All Trussed Up And Still Nowhere To Go

Summary: Shawn knows that this time it isn’t his fault. But the look on Juliet’s face certainly makes him feel like it is. Prompt: “You Have To Let Go” Warnings: heights, cliffhanger, self-sacrifice (sorta) ao3

Day 2 - Talking Is Overrated

Summary: Shawn and Juliet are kidnapped and trapped with no way out. But when words fail, actions prevail. Prompts: Choking, Gagged, Talking is Overrated Warnings: choking, characters thinking they're gonna die, kidnapping ao3

Day 3 - Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones But…

Summary: Juliet comes home trying to hide an injury. Too bad Shawn is incredibly observant. Prompts: Taunting (sorta), Insults, “Who Did This To You?” Warnings: blood mention, sexism, mentions of assault, injuries ao3

Day 4 - Trust Fall

Summary: Karen watches Juliet get kidnapped and it's a race against time to save her. She only hopes both of them have enough of it left. (sequel to this) Prompts: “Do You Trust Me?”, Taken Hostage (kinda) Warnings: Kidnapping, Panic Attacks, Heights ao3

Day 5 - I’ve Got Red In My Ledger

Summary: (Mob boss!Juliet AU) Juliet isn't sure what hurts more, Carlton being captured or Shawn being the cause of it. Prompts: Betrayal, Misunderstanding, Broken Nose Warnings: Blood, Torture Mention, Open Ending, Breakup? Kinda? ao3

Day 6 - Touch And Go

Summary: Shawn's always been a tactile person but he's never really known just how touch starved he truly is. Prompts: Touch Starved Warnings: mentions of emotional abuse, not really touched on but there, gunshot wound, kidnapping, trauma ao3

Day 7 - My Spidey-sense Is Tingling

Summary: An encounter with a suspect leaves Shawn drugged and reeling from the side effects. This is going to be a long week. Prompts: Helplessness, Numbness Warnings: Nonconsensual drug usage, migraines, throwing up, numbness, delusions ao3

Day 8 - Coughing Up A Lung

Summary: Gus is sick. Everyone around him thinks it's just a cold but he's not too sure. Prompts: Exotic Illness (sort of?), “Definitely Just A Cold” Warnings: unknown illness, blood ao3

Day 9 - Rumors Of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Summary: (Magic Powers!AU) Shawn's been kidnapped and Juliet will do anything to save him. Though she's not entirely sure why. Prompts: Rumors Of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated, Presumed Dead, Blind Rage Warnings: blood, descriptions of violence ao3

Day 10 - Oops, I Did It Again

Summary:

 In the wake of his stroke, Carlton finds himself making a heartbreaking decision regarding his wife and family.

Prompts:

Hospital, Ice Chips

Warnings:

hospitals, mentions of a stroke but not very many medical details

ao3

Day 11 - Just Keep Swimming

Summary: Juliet killed Jerry Carp. She had to, there was no other choice. But that doesn't stop her from being haunted by the experience. Prompts: Just Keep Swimming, Adrift Warnings: mentions of character death, guilt, nightmares ao3

Day 12 - It’ll Be Fun, They Said

Summary: Shawn gets kidnapped and everyone he knows thinks he's dead. How could this get any worse? Prompts: Torture, Made To Watch, Begging Warnings: characters thinking other characters are dead, torture (non graphic though), tasering ao3

Day 13 - That’s Gonna Leave A Mark

Summary: "Stupid Spencer. Stupid man getting himself kidnapped when his wife is eight months pregnant. Stupid Guster for helping him. Stupid Psychphrancisco for having a stupid name." It’s safe to say Carlton is not exactly happy with how current events are turning out. Prompts: That’s Gonna Leave A Mark, “This Is Gonna Suck”, Burns Warnings: Kidnapping, Burns, Guns ao3

Day 14 - Under Pressure

Summary: Shawn's expected to go toe to toe with Mr. Yang. But after he learns his mom has been taken, he's not so sure he can live up to that expectation. Prompts: Under Pressure, Beaten Warnings: None that I can think of but please let me know if there are any I should include. ao3

Day 15 - Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever

Summary: Iris comes down with the flu and Karen takes care of her. Seeing her daughter so sick is not easy. Prompts: Delirium, Fever Dreams Warnings: sickness, the prompts above ao3

Day 16 - On A Need To Know Basis

Summary: Shawn's nervous. Tonight is the night he's going to tell Juliet about his scar. Prompts: Scars Warnings: Hospital Mentions ao3

Day 17 - Field Care 101

Summary: After Lassie steps in a bear trap in "Lassie Jerky", it's up to Juliet to take care of her partner. Prompts: Field Care 101, “Please Don’t Move!”, Dread Warnings: Blood, Injury ao3

Day 18 - Now Smile For The Camera

Summary: The pictures he found on the blueberry just hours earlier of Juliet still fresh in his mind, Shawn finds that the stalker had something much worse planned for the detective. Santabarbaratown but with a twist. Prompts: “Now Smile For The Camera” Warnings: Kidnapping, signs of struggle ao3

Day 19 - Just A Scratch

Summary: (Werewolf!AU) Walking across campus after midnight alone is probably not Juliet's best idea, there's no telling what might be lurking in the shadows. Prompts: Bitten, Bleeding Warnings: See above prompts ao3

Day 20 - Lost & Found

Summary: Shawn, Gus, and Juliet all get kidnapped and shoved in the trunk of a car. Seems like a great time for Shawn to learn some things about himself. Prompts: Trunk Warnings: claustrophobia, panic attack, references to child emotional abuse ao3

Day 21 - That’s Where The Blood’s Supposed To Be

Summary: (Criminal!AU) Juliet was having such a good day, right up to the point where she found Shawn passed out and bleeding on her kitchen floor. Prompts: Bleeding Through The Bandages, Pressure, Blood-matted Hair Warnings: Blood, Open Ending, Partial Nudity but still sfw ao3

Day 22 - They Made Me Do It

Summary: (Magic Powers!AU) Juliet and Gus find out that having mysterious magical powers comes with some... repercussions. Prompts: They Made Me Do It, Cursed, Obsession Warnings: slight violence? I guess, let me know if I should tag any ao3

Day 23 - You Break It, You Buy It

Summary: Pursing a suspect with Shawn, Gus, Juliet and Lassiter isn't all it's cracked up to be. Prompts: You Break It, You Buy It, Pursuit ao3

Day 24 - One Down Two To Go

Summary: While camping with Selene and Karen, Juliet wakes up from a nightmare and has to face her past. Prompts: Flashbacks Warnings: slight mention of ptsd, nothing bad though ao3

Day 25 - We Didn't Start the Fire

Summary: After two false alarms, Shawn and Juliet wind up ignoring the third, which turns out to not be the best idea. Prompts: Escape, Hiding Warning: fire, characters thinking they're gonna die (no actual death though) ao3

Day 26 - You Will Go Down With This (Friend)Ship

Summary: Gus is usually a very anxious person, but there's something about being Mr. Yin's movie lot that doesn't sit right with him. He soon finds out why. Prompts: Fallen, Trap Door ao3

Day 27 - I’m Fine. I Prom…

Summary: Selene loves Gus, but sometimes his constant doting over her being pregnant gets a little suffocating. Prompts: I’m Fine. I Prom…, Passing Out, Vertigo Warnings: mentions of morning sickness symptoms ao3

Day 28 - It’s Not Just In Your Head

Summary: Juliet wakes from a nightmare about Yin and is faced with having to chose whether or not to trust Shawn with her deepest fears. Prompts: Nightmares, Panic Warnings: PTSD, Panic, Fear of Being Known ao3

Day 29 - All Work And No Play

Summary: As a result of an increased caseload, Juliet is exhausted and overworked, causing Shawn to be very worried about his wife. Prompts: Overworked ao3

Day 30 - Can't Turn Back Now, I'm Haunted

Summary: In the wake of Mary's death and Abigail and Juliet's kidnappings, Shawn feels a lot of things. Mostly guilt. Prompts: Major Character Death (kinda, he's not really main but whatever), Ghosts (also kinda) ao3

Day 31 - Hurt & Comfort

Summary: After nearly causing an international incident in "Shawn Rescues Darth Vader", Chief Vick decides that there's only one thing to do. Send her detectives and consultants to group therapy. Prompts: Trauma Warnings: Mentions of PTSD and panic attacks and basically just trauma all around ao3

[loser-writings]

Kazuichi Souda Headcanons

{@sally-wonders​} (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ I JUST SAW THE DANGANRONPA STUFF AND I AM SCREAMING! dlsfhlfhksg I dont even know where to start, so, at first I was wondering if you have any headcanons for my man Kazuichi, I love him so much! I always wondered how he would be into an actually relationship, because the inflatuation he had with Sonia was a thing, but also serving to compensate in his low self steam, even if he was an ultimate, he also has the historic of abuse and bully by their piers and all  with the sharp teeth and pink hair to try and look cool and all that as well, also he would have to deal with all that happened in dispair island (what wouldnt i give to know how they dealt with that man :'3), especially acepting the fact that Sônia does not like him. Because of the whole dream girl with blonde hair and he kinda projects this idea of her instead of herself. Jqrjjgwrj sorry I babble a lot hehe

I hope you enjoy this long list of a variety of headcanons. These may not hit all of the points you were asking, but I hope this is satisfactory!

・・・・✪General Headcanons✪ ・・・・

Kazuichi is a very anxious person so he is constantly fiddling with something. Little electronics, his wrench or tools he has on hands, or his fingers. If he can’t mess with something, his anxiety goes through the roof.

He can read in English! He taught himself how to read English so he could read American comic books before they’re officially translated. He also can understand English since he watched so many English action movies. He can speak it, but it can be broken and his accent is very strong.

He can actually sew. Since he learned by watching his mom, he can fix and alter clothing. He can also sew and throw together blankets and stuffed animals. He actually owns a small sewing machine. It isn’t expensive or amazing by any means, but it can get the job done.

He spends a large chunk of his money on keeping up with his hair and keeping his contacts in check. His hair grows extremely fast so his roots show, and he has a horrible habit of sleeping in his contacts since he can’t stand his glasses. 

When you catch him off guard, he just lies about what he is doing. He doesn’t mean to, but it is just a natural reaction since his dad would get mad at him no matter what his answer was. Because of this, you have to give him a moment to calm down and go through the 3 different answers he has before he can actually say what’s going on. This also happens if he is on his computer or his phone. He naturally hides the screen, even if he is just looking at car parts or how to fix a certain thing.

He can be a bit perverted and oblivious to somebody's flaws if he finds himself becoming attracted to them. Despite this, he is honestly quite the sweetheart and would have a heart attack if somebody were to return his feelings. 

He has pretty bad trust issues and this can cause tension between him and others. This also causes him to believe things that aren’t always true based off of his distrust alone.

He doesn’t actually like his appearance, even after he changed it. He originally changed it to keep away bullies and get the attention of women, but when he looks in the mirror, he doesn’t exactly like it. He didn’t mind his black hair or his normal eye color, he just hated his glasses.

Will flinch if someone raises their hand at him because of his fathers past abuse. He can’t help but flinch, and this is horrible with men who are taller than him. Safe to say that Gundhams mannerisms and weird poses aren't appreciated.

・・・・✪Relationship Headcanons✪ ・・・・

As stated before if someone were to return his feelings, he would be so lost on what to do. He never had anybody treat him with much kindness and the fact that someone he admires likes him back is just mind boggling to him.

I headcanon him personally to be Bisexual. He may have a physical lea for women, but he does find himself genuinely attracted to men as well (@Hajime) I think the big thing that decides if he likes you or not is if he thinks he can trust you.

Due to the past abuse and issues regarding friends and classmates, he would need constant reassurance. He will have sudden doubts and will become extremely anxious at the idea of you leaving him for a variety of reasons. He will ask if you want him to change his appearance or something about his personality, and it never fails that he is shocked if you say you love how he is.

He can sometimes get lost in his childlike fantasies. He will change his personality at times and make himself believe things that aren’t true. The best thing to do when this happens is to just give him a quick kiss on the cheek and remind him that you are you, and not some fantasy. He will apologize and snap out of it (For the most part)

He isn’t the best at initiating things. He would do better with someone who is more willing to make the first move. Be the one to grab his hand to hold it, Open your arms so he can snuggle against your chest, Cup his cheeks to pull him into a sweet kiss, Open the door for him and press your hand against his lower back in public areas so he feels more calm. He really would appreciate it.

Some of his favorite dates are the ones that result in tons of affection. Building blanket forts before having an action movie marathon is his favorite thing. It always results in the two of you tangled impossibly close to each other. If he is the one being held, having you play with the messily chopped locks instantly has him weak. He will rest against your chest while watching the movies, looking up to steal kisses and nip at your exposed skin in an attempt to steal your attention away from the screen. If he is the one holding you, your hair will be played with and expect him to caress your body a lot. If he gets distracted from the movie, he will let his eyes and hands wonder. It’s not in a perverse way, but more curious. 

He actually studies how your body moves and how you feel. He is the kind of guy who is very interested in seeing how your “Parts” move and how things work. It’s not perverted (Usually) but instead it’s very sweet in an unusual way. He will find out unusual things he loves about you by watching how you move. Like how you stretch to reach things on a tall shelf, or how your body curls up into itself when your cold. Just how you move and your body language is something that always has Kazuichi staring. 

If he can’t be with you physically, expect many phone calls and video calls. He calls you every time he misses your voice or feels himself starting to get anxious. The most common phone calls become the ones that happen before bed. Kazuichi gets extremely anxious when he is alone or at his house with his dad. Because of this, it becomes a routine where he calls you before bed and falls asleep on the phone with you. If you love to sing, sing and play instruments on the phone to soothe him. If you like to read, read to him until you hear his soft snores on the other line. If you like to ramble, ramble to him as he hums along til he is asleep. 

Also don’t hang up. Seriously, he will hang up in the morning. If he has a nightmare, or something happens, he finds comfort knowing that you are right there when he needs you most. 

He doesn’t mind chasing after you, but please let him have something so he knows that all of the chasing is worth it. This is the man you go to if you want somebody to control. He just wants your love and attention, even if you are just using him. If he falls for you during the killing game, he won’t hesitate to kill for you.

・・・・✪NSFW Headcanons✪ ・・・・

Aged 18+ and Kink discussion below this post

Souda loves to leave hickeys and love bites. He thinks they’re so sexy and attractive, and will leave them all over you if you let him. He also ADORES having you mark all over him and will whine if you tease him by pulling away before a mark can be made. If you really want to make him feel loved, make heart shaped hickeys all over him. He will cry because he feels so loved.

He is a switch with a more submissive lean, but he does have his more dominant moments. If he is being submissive, expect him to whine and cry about things a lot. He can be a total brat, but its so worth it when you get to hear him moan and beg for more. He may not scream, but he is quite loud.. If he is being dominant, he growls and groans a lot. He doesn’t mean to, he just gets so caught up in the moment that he doesn’t even notice the noises he makes.

He has ended up with you in his lap in his car a few times. He just can’t help it. The most memorable time was at the drive in theater. You both were in the back and it just ended up with your hands being bound by a seat belt as he sat between your legs until he couldn’t handle waiting anymore. 

He CLEARLY is into body worship. He loves watching how you react as his hands sit and press themselves against your body. He will compliment absolutely everything about you, kissing your skin as much as possible, and let his hands and eyes do all of the work.

He is so into oral, both giving and receiving. He can sit between your legs pleasing you until you are shaking and can’t handle anymore. Just how you taste is so intoxicating with him, and he always is trying to get more. If you are sucking him off, he will pant and moan and whine the whole time. His hand is tangled in your hair or the sheets until he can’t take it any more and cums. If you swallow, he will be so turned on, but he also loves cumming on you

Kazuichi will hump and grind against anything. Your ass, your thighs, a pillow, clothing, the bed, anything. He has a high sex drive, so he has to take care of it often. Even when he is sleeping, he will grind against you if he is having a dirty dream. Hopefully you don’t mind, because he is actually quite embarrassed when this happens.

He has a fantasy of you waking him up with oral. He has quite a few dirty dreams, so the idea of you helping him out while he wakes up is a dream for him.

Praise kink. Seriously. Praise this man. He will CRY if you constantly praise him during sex. He was completely unaware of how much it would effect him during sex.

[lets-get-kraken-boys]

Yandere! Hawks/Keigo Takami X Reader: Caged Songbird~

(Description: Ooo, y’all are in for a treat today~! Hey, my first Gender Neutral AND Yandere fic on this account! And no less, it’s our favorite manwhore, Hawks! I sincerely hope you enjoy reading my story and if you like this fic, don’t worry, I have more yandere fic on the way~! Thank you for your time, consideration, and all the love you royals have shown a simple jester like me!)

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Fanfiction Lingo

(Y/N) - Your Name

(N/N) - Nickname

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“Normal speech.”

‘Inner thoughts.’

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Requester: No One!

Reader Gender: Gender Neutral (They/Them)

Style of Story: Oneshot (Possible Part 2?) // Manipulative, obsessive, and controlling behavior; hints of stalking; kidnapping

Word Count: 1.7K Words

WARNING(s): Yandere themes, so if you aren’t okay with obsessive/possessive/psychotic natures then please don’t read!

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[P.S: I DO NOT SUPPORT YANDERE TENDENCIES IN REAL LIFE!!! Do not confuse me writing this subject as encouraging it, there is a difference from reading/writing yandere stories V.S real life situations. Please, if someone in your life is behaving like the character in this story (i.e. obsessive, possessive, controlling, abusive, psychotic, sociopathic, LIKE A WACKADOO, etc.) get immediate help! That behavior in the real world is not romantic, sweet, or NORMAL! Stay aware and stay safe.]

~

~

“Baby bird, wait up!” the last person you wanted to talk to right now, Hawks, giggled as he drifted down to glide next to your frantic self. Even though you were already speed walking down the sidewalk away from his apartment where the two of you had previously been 20 minutes ago, you tugged your jacket closer to your frame and scurried faster through the drafty night in a desperate attempt to make him leave.

“Go away, Hawks. I’m done talking with you tonight.” you mumbled as he continued to spin around you in an almost teasing way that further pissed you off.

“Ouch, (N/N)~,” Keigo grabbed his chest where his heart is while floating directly in front of you to block your path with his massive scarlet wings, “Not even calling me by my first name anymore? C’mon, what happened to ‘my hero~’ or ‘Mr. Stud~’? Not even ‘bird brain’?” he mocked in fake shock.

You scoffed and stepped past his fiery feathers, marching down your path while shouting back, “You don’t get that lovey-dovey crap from me tonight!”

Though the rest of the world was dark in the wee hours of the night, the flickering street lamps guided you to the train station that would take you back home to your apartment that you thankfully hadn’t moved out of yet, even though Hawks constantly  whined about you ditching the “dingy” place in favor of the two of you living together in his over-the-top penthouse. You had no roommates to notify that you were heading back after a few days with Keigo and you had long ago left your parents’ house to live on your own so you pressed on, blocking out his pouty, annoyed huffs of air in favor of dreaming about your cozy bed waiting to coddle you in its embrace with no fear of sharing the space with anyone.

“(Y/N), slow down for a second! Why are you acting so weird?” you heard Keigo’s voice and jogging footsteps sound from behind you. You recognized the feeling of his hand trying to circle around your wrist but before he got too comfortable, you snatched it away from him and swiveled your body back to meet his teasing hooded eyes.

“I’M acting weird? What about you! You brought this onto yourself, stupid!” you hissed while stepping a foot back.

Though that action didn’t make him falter, instead he stepped with you and stared you dead in the eye, “What did I do, hummingbird?” he asked with another sly cock of his head.

“Really? Me yelling at you in the penthouse wasn’t enough,” you growled, “You were checking through my phone while I was in the shower like a total CREEP, Keigo! What were you thinking, that I was just gonna come out of the shower, see you looking through my private messages with friends and family without you previously asking for permission to do, and I would say “Oh, no worries, love!” Are you nuts or something?!” you hollered at the hero whose smirk made you want to gift him a punch straight in the face for his cocky attitude.

“It’s fine, baby bird, I’m just checking to make sure everything was okay! You’ve been distant with me lately~,” his eyebrows twitched up and he gave a small pout as his wings slightly drooped to the pavement.

“Wait, hold on, we’ve been on a few dates for the past two months, no where near officially dating yet, and you think stuff like that is okay? You trust me so little that you have to go behind my back and search through my private things, to what? Prove a point to yourself or something? How did you even get my password?!” you barked in his stupidly attractive face.

“Love, you’re overreaching,” Hawks strode over to you and quickly locked you in his strong arms, though you tried to squirm away in disgust, “There are things in this world that a civilian like you wouldn’t understand. Heroes have to make so many hard decisions and as your hero, I have to make sure to be just that, save you from everything and everyone, even yourself sometimes.”

He leaned his head on yours and you heard him take a deep breath in only to let it out with an almost loving sigh while he continued, “There are bad people in this world that I encounter every day and I don’t want you accidentally stumbling on them through the internet. You know, it’s really rude of you to have kept Tinder on your phone even though we’re already in a committed relationship. Good thing you have me here to help!” he chuckled, his hold on your body tightening with each passing second.

Thoroughly creeped the hell out and not one to look past such obvious red flags though his looks tried to deceive you, you finally broke free of his tight grasp and shoved him back a few feet with shaky hands. You kept your hands outstretched in front of you, though you trembled in fear, and spoke in a fake strong voice, “That’s it, Hawks, we’re done, even though there’s nothing really to be done with in the first place. No more dates, no more hanging out, just flat out don’t talk to me ever again, okay? You see me on the street, walk the other way. I sincerely wish you the best with your dating life, but here’s a tip for the next person you seek out, don’t go poking your head into their personal life until you two are more than close. Goodbye, Keigo.” you finished, breaking out into a sprint towards the train station, leaving a flabbergasted Hawks in the dust.

Keigo stood where you had just been and simply stared at your retreating form as you sped off into the night. His eyes glazed over in pure jealousy and rage as his wings poofed up behind him to physically show his anguish. He stood under the buzzing streetlamp for a couple minutes more, processing the information, until he let out a small snicker. His snickering turned into giggling, escalating to laughter, and finally into an uncontrollable hollering. He bent over himself in the fit of insanity and after gulping down the lost air in his lungs as he looked back up to the place where you had previously stood with a menacing glint sparking in his honey-colored eyes.

“(Y/N)’s just...confused...yeah. Yeah! My god, how didn’t I see it before?! I’m such a bad boyfriend! But I can fix this,” Hawks shakily straightened back up and pulled his jacket tighter to himself, smoothing down his ruffled hair and wings, “Yeah, I can fix this.” He concluded to the empty air with a satisfied hum.

“Don’t worry, (Y/N), Keigo’s here to save you yet again~,” Hawks’ crazed smile flashed in the night as he flipped down his wind-resistant glasses.

~

~ Timeskip to 10 minutes later and we’re with you! ~

~

You panted for air as your run slowed into a brisk walk yet again. Now about a half a mile away from the complete psycho you had been with, you felt much safer now than any time you’d ever been around him, pro hero or not. You swiveled around on your feet and looked behind you as you walked down the street backwards, taking careful steps and surveying the area to make sure that weirdo hadn’t followed you. No one behind you on the lonely road, no one hiding in the allies or on the rooftops you could see, and no bird brain flying behind you in the air. It was almost eerie how alone you were but you still smiled, finally free.

“Thank goodness, that was getting awkward. I’ve really gotta stop letting guys with pretty faces fool me into a date.” you huffed to yourself as you remained walking backwards. Pulling out your smartphone from your jacket pocket, you swiped through your device and pushed on the phone app to call your mom to let her know that instead of heading back to your apartment you’d like to spend the night with them, no doubt in your mind that if Hawks was determined enough he probably would have scoped out your place already since ‘heroes have connections’ and all.

As you tried to press the ‘call’ button, you heard the sound of something swiftly cutting through the air behind you but before you had time to react your phone was launched out of your loose grip. You watched as the fast moving object shot and stuck into the ground, having entirely pierced through your phone and the solid cement, rendering the device useless. Nothing but fear raced through your veins as you recognized the weapon as one of Hawks’ scarlet feathers you had happily stroked not so long ago.

Before you could book it once more down the empty street, you felt two strong arms wrap around your arms and torso. You yelped as they constricted around you like a snake wrapping around its prey and began wildly thrashing your legs, trying to wiggle your way out of your captor’s hold. You heard the “hero” sweetly coo in your ear, almost like he was trying to calm a restless baby, and you suddenly felt big gusts of wind push around your body and through your desperate squirming you realized that you were no longer on the ground.

“Relax, baby bird,” Keigo sighed in content as he swung your body up and into his arms, pinning your arms to your side and carrying you like a royal being saved by their knight, “We’re just going back home so you can...calm down a little! You’ve been under such stress lately, haven’t you? That’s probably why you lashed out! I’m so sorry for not noticing sooner, love.” Tears of frustration blurred your vision as your legs thrashed as hard as they could, but nothing could loosen the man’s tense grip.

“Let me go, you...you psychopath!” you screamed out, fast wind whipping past your face as Keigo sped back to your prison.

“Awe~, (Y/N), don’t cry,” Hawks nuzzled your head, a purr rumbling in the back of his throat as one of his feathers brushed away the tears dripping past your cheeks, “Your hero will take care of everything now~!”

~

~ The End ~

~

[ellaintrigue]

"ABUSIVE TYPES HIDE THE FACT THEY'RE ABUSIVE, WEAR THEIR VICTIMS DOWN AND ISOLATE THEM, SO THEY NO LONGER HAVE ANY SUPPORT BUT THE ABUSER, THEN START THE ABUSE, MAKING THE VICTIM BELIEVE THEY DESERVE IT AND EVEN HAVE THE VICTIM DEFEND THE ACTIONS OF THE ABUSER. YOU NEVER KNOW SOMEONE IS ABUSIVE UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE."

Growing up I knew what abuse was. It was when someone called you bad names and made fun of you, or it was when someone hit you or was otherwise physical. But those are the basics, I had no idea. It was the 90s and early 00s. No one had cellphones, let alone internet in our rural community. Mom raised me well but we didn't know what we know now. Abuse, even simple harassment, is being talked about now on a level it never was and the internet alone is in an uproar. It's a good thing.

It just passed the anniversary of my grandmother's death and the 1 year anniversary of when I first met up with the last guy (no abuse). That stings a little. But now it is about to be the 5 year anniversary of when I became a victim of domestic violence. It haunts me and I used to talk way too much about it to people, a trauma effect. But it's one of those things that will stick with you.

I never considered myself a victim until the day he got physical, which is when I left him. That is when something clicked in my head: THIS IS NOT OKAY. I was in a stupor after the assaults but I knew to escape. I'm going to approach this topic from the standpoint of a cis female, because let's face it, this is a huge issue with men against women in particular. Let's not candy-coat that. That said, remember no one, male, female, or otherwise has the right to put you down, control you, or put hands on you!

It all starts somewhere. Like the person above says, everyone is nice at first. Forget the bad boys versus nice guys shit. Nice guys are creeps (Google Nice Guy Syndrome). Women sense outward creepiness right away especially with all the whining, but the rest of mankind is a gamble. You never know what you're going to get into.

The standard list of an abusive partner is pretty clean cut, describing fear, a lot of control, and violence: https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-domestic-abuse-signs

I could never be fully controlled and ended up punching him several times in fact, which was wrong and made me an abuser. I should have left. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO LEAVE OVER THE THOUGHT OF HEARTBREAK OR BEING ALONE. THERE ARE ZILLIONS OF PEOPLE OUT THERE EVEN IF DATING IS A BITCH.

There were good times and he did things for me but there's always a bright side to an abuser, that's what makes you stay. There was never any name calling or put-downs. He had mental illness breakdowns and was worried about me cheating mainly.

Here is my self-compiled list of abuse warning signs that happened to me:

1 Your partner dislikes and doesn't trust your family and close friends, encouraging you to distance yourself from them. He says they are abusing you.

2 Your family and friends nearly all dislike your partner, saying he's not acting right or something doesn't feel right.

3 Your partner is worried about you cheating. He worries about your boss, your coworkers, and customers at your job. He doesn't like you being anywhere without him.

4 Your partner is always calling or texting you, even if it's "just to talk." Normal relationships have space, you should be able to go a few hours without chatting or being around each other.

5 Untreated mental illness. I WOULD NEVER CLICHE OR BASH ANYONE WITH MENTAL PROBLEMS CLEARLY I HAVE THEM MYSELF. But when someone chooses to refuse treatment and starts victimizing those around them, being ill is NOT an excuse. Never ever feel sorry for an abuser because they are bipolar or have schizophrenia, etc. NEVER let them use their health as an excuse.

6 Establishing a relationship right away and wanting to have kids soon, even if there is no financial stability. They want to tie you to them.

7 They need reassurance that the relationship is "forever" and that you will never leave.

8 While ignoring all the red flags due to inexperience, previous abusive relationships, or whatever reason, you are still nervous and feel the need to ask the person if they would act out if you ever did have to leave them.

9 They threaten to kill themselves if you do try to leave or have any sort of space from them.

10 They can't hold a job. That's not a moral failing, it's a sign of instability that is not healthy for anyone. It will often fall on you to provide for them. That should be consensual, not forced, like when a man or woman stays home and cares for children while their partner agrees to work and is okay with that.

11 They destroy your belongings in fits of rage. YOU ARE NEXT, NO JOKE THERE...

12 They tell others that you are controlling and abusing them. They tell people that you did things that they actually did, like smashing a vase for example.

13 They threaten to call the police and tell them you assaulted them (these are times I was not hitting him although I admit I was wrong when I did that). They threaten to have you taken to the mental ward. They hit or cut themselves to threaten to tell the police you did it to them.

14 They steal from you. That's a pretty obvious one but yeah it happens anyway, and of course you don't want to press charges because they are still your partner. Some was paid back but it's still not okay.

15 They say their meltdowns and actions were never as bad as how you saw them (gaslighting).

Don't put up with any of this shit. Last week I went to the grocery store and this angry man was huffing through the isles talking to himself. He grabbed some things and piled them on his woman, who wasn't walking too fast and acted nervous. The man bitched at her and she moved towards the checkout line as I was walking up with a big cart full of shit. She told me to go ahead and I said, "no, you go ahead, you only have a few things." She was also in her work scrubs, a healthcare worker. She turned to me and said in this small nervous voice, "I also need to buy gas, will that be a problem?" I didn't really process what she said at first because it didn't make sense but said yes, of course. That would only take seconds after she paid for her 3 items.

This woman seemed timid and worn-down. This couple appeared to be in their early 50s, her with her hair done and clean, and him in dirty clothes with wild eyes. He demanded money from her and then shoved past me and another woman to go into the alcohol section of the building. As I left, he came out of another exit and cut close to me, babbling to himself while carrying a 6 pack of beer. He was yelling to himself that he got the wrong beer. She exited with the food and he huffed after her. This was 9 AM.

Don't let yourself be that woman. And if you are that woman, it's never too late, especially if you work and support that man. Save up, get support, bail. Please run before he kills you.

[bigskydreaming]

“I was human once. Where were you then?” I pretty thoroughly abandoned Teen Wolf after season 4, and even before then, I didn’t engage with the fandom much, but the voice that you give Scott is enough to keep me with one toe dipped in the pond. He’s funny and clever and kind. Even years since I’ve read anything else in TW, WTWTA continues to be a favourite. Do you feel like talking about where you were planning to go with it? I’ve seen you talk about Lightning Crashes plenty, but not WTWTA.

Thank you so much for this ask! Not gonna lie, Lightning Crashes consumes most of my remaining Teen Wolf attention just because its so freaking big and I've got so much written for it over the years that like, I will riot against myself if I don't finish it because like ugh I didn't write all that just to have it sit unread in my own damn files forever, y'know? So like, while I would love to return to Where Wild Things Are someday I'm not trying to make any claims about that one until LC is off my back. Tbh, I'm trying not to make any claims about fanfic or deadlines until I'm fully recovered from my surgery and whatnot because like......my day to day life is just not reliable and I hate not being able to keep my word on stuff.

BUT. That all said, I do still have a lot of fondness for WWTA and plenty of thoughts about it and willingness to talk about where it was headed for anyone who prefers to just hear about that on the assumption it won't ever really get returned to, cuz like, you are Valid.

And I actually have a lot of fondness for that part you quoted in particular, like, I've heard a lot of good things from people about that whole interaction being a standout for them, and its a personal fave because it pretty succintly got to the heart of some of my biggest issues with Teen Wolf's portrayal of hunters and specifically their ideology and self-justifications.

Anyway, some basics about where that fic was going below the cut, and I'm happy to go into more detail or provide snippets or excerpts from future parts as well.

So the very next chapter after what was posted is actually another Scott POV, and it has Peter showing up to his house at night while his mom's at work, Cora with her uncle as well, and 'summoning' Scott to be by his side as well while Peter goes to meet with another Alpha in a rival pack's territory. (Said Alpha being Ennis, in this case).

This chapter's actually a pretty interesting one IMO because I used it to play around with a personal headcanon I have for chemo-signals. There's actually been a fair amount of theorizing in the scientific (and pseudo scientific, lol) communities about what it might be like if humans could pick up on and interpret chemo-signals, because the science suggests that actually we DO.....just at such a tiny magnification so as to make it impossible to get any like, usable data from what little our noses do pick up.

But a popular theory is that picking up on chemo-signals would produce a physiological like, 'mirroring' of what's being picked up on, like....okay, so there's this thing in a lot of evolutionary traits that are linked to survival mechanisms. Where like, the body in the act of receiving various signals from another being about something being dangerous or threatening or to be avoided, it'll essentially mimic the very signs of distress or warning in the person or creature its picking up those signals from. Its kinda part of an automatic feedback loop, like going through a version of the same reaction a person is seeing in others is part of the body and brain's interpretative process, taking in certain stimuli and then processing it in ways that end up with the brain consciously cluing in that what its seeing is that it should be wary of danger.

I'm explaining it badly, but the basic idea is like.....you know that almost instinctive flinch of horror or fear you get almost in like....sympathy, when you see someone else in obvious distress or terror....even before or without seeing or experiencing whatever it is that's making them so distressed/afraid yourself? That's an example of what I'm talking about here. One creature or person transmits various signals - be they visual by way of stance or expression, or scent, or auditory like screams - and surrounding 'pack creatures' or basically any nearby beings likely to be part of that initial being's pack or herd or community.....they pick up these signals and the message of warning or whatever being conveyed via those signals....and in the process of translating that into some kind of actionable instinct, they ALREADY replicate and thus partially pass on those very same signals themselves.

So the thing about scents that we give off even as humans, is that there's actually a LOT of data and signals encoded into these scents or the various things our bodies produce in association with these scents, like sweat. Even though we can't discern these scents to any degree that allows us to meaningfully interpret the data encoded in them, because we didn't ever end up evolving down the evolutionary path that might have resulted in us being able to smell to that degree....like, the information is still THERE, packed into those scents and odor-producing body by-products.

And that has a lot to do with why we react the way we often do to smelling someone's sweat even to the degree that we DO pick it up.....because think of what bodily reactions tend to produce sweat. Its not just physical exertions, its also in a response to nervousness or discomfort or disgust or outright danger, etc.....and our instinctive responses to scenting the sweat someone produces is often to like....mirror those very same emotions. Just to a much more minor degree than if we were able to smell to the same degree that like, we can see.....and thus pick apart single scents and interpret the various distinct elements and emotions packed INTO those, much like how our eyes are evolved to pick apart visuals and interpret specific details about shapes we see in front of us and give a lot more nuance and specificity to what our eyes are picking up on.

So the theory is that if we WERE able to smell to this keen degree....we would be able to tell a LOT about people's emotional state just from the physiological byproducts they produce in various emotional states.....BUT there'd be a trade-off. We would also be prone to the same tendency to unconsciously mimic the signals we were picking up on.....so our own scent glands, our own expressions, would be likely to 'pass on' the indications of fear or arousal or anxiety that we're smelling.

What intrigued me about this idea, in terms of werewolves who are stated to be able to pick up and interpret chemo-signals......is that it carries with it the implication that actually, most werewolves - at least those in packs - would have EXCELLENT self-control, in contrast to what most hunters believe about werewolves and their lack thereof.

Because think about it......if werewolves are constantly being bombarded with the chemo-signals of those around them, and interpreting these smells and the signals contained within them with the same matter of fact ease most of us translate the visual signals our eyes convey to us......in actuality, werewolves would need to have exceptional control over their own reactions to external stimuli.......or else they'd constantly stand out by having facial expressions and stance cues that seem to change radically with seemingly very little reason for them to do so as far as normal humans around them can tell. And at the same time, the facial reactions they might instinctively flash to in response to picking up say, stark terror from someone who was trying their best to hide that VISUALLY due to the presence of someone they were afraid of like an abuser....the fact that werewolves seemed to often be reacting to things they were picking up on in ways that seemed completely contrary to what visual or auditory cues were evident to everyone else....this would also make them stand out even in a crowd.

So to my mind, the extent to which werewolves were shown deciphering information via chemo-signals on the show suggests that actually, werewolf packs would place a huge focus on teaching their children and their new bitten members both the importance of having firm self-control over their own reactions and emotional state - in order to counter their own instinctive tendencies upon smelling things like strong fear or arousal or anxiety in others - as well as the HOW of doing just that.

Which in turn would lead to the idea that its the LACK of a pack - and the grounding knowledge and presence of other experienced werewolves - which most often results in the existence of the 'out of control' omega werewolves that hunters use to justify the necessity of their existence.

Think how bewildering it would be to constantly be bombarded with signals and cues that suggest that the people around you are at any given moment in heightened states of panic and distress and discomfort. How much that would shred your own self-control if you weren't extremely practiced - and aided - in keeping a clear awareness of your OWN emotional state and feelings at all times, so you don't get swept away by the tide of emotional information you're picking up on all sides. I imagine it wouldn't be that much different walking down the hall of a school picking up the scent chemo-signals of a hundred teenagers in the throes of puberty, hormonal changes, and constant stress and intense feelings.....than say, if you or I were to walk down that same hall and instead of just seeing and hearing a hundred teenagers laughing and talking and going about their day, we saw and heard every one of those teenagers acting out visual and auditory cues of extreme intensity on all sides, from some of them screaming for dozens of different reasons to others being clear images of someone in pain or outright terror, etc.

Its a lot. Its easy to imagine that omega werewolves would not actually be any less 'capable' than any other werewolf, they're not wild or feral because they're lesser or whatever.....its simply for whatever reason, they never were taught the lesson of just how important it is to learn how to not just interpret scent cues, but block them out when necessary or at the very least maintain a conscious awareness of how to keep your own sense of self prioritized in your brain over just....instinctively reacting to everything being flung at you information wise.

Anyway. So a big component of what's to come there is how this might impact the world of Teen Wolf if explored in depth.....

Because on the one hand, this information would be the EXACT thing needed to really put things into clarity re: hunters and werewolves. The reality that actually, most werewolves are exceptional at self-control....that when they're a danger to others, its usually because they're that way with INTENT like Deucalion or Ennis. That most werewolves aren't the inches-from-being-mindless timebombs that hunters stress are the real reason for why they exist. The omegas are actually the odd ones out, and their lack of self-control is something that can actually be mitigated by integration into existing packs or just more avenues for educating themselves on what they are now and what differences that makes in their lives and just their very approaches to life.

But on the other hand, this information is exactly what werewolves like Scott CAN'T inform hunters of en masse.....because of the existence of hunters like Gerard and Kate who actually don't CARE about the code and the idea of just existing to protect humanity from the out of control dangerous 'monsters'....but rather just want to kill werewolves for other reasons. Because hunters who were fully in the know as to how much control the average werewolf has over their emotional state....as well as WHY its so important for them to learn and practice such exceptional self-control......because of how VULNERABLE to reacting to the emotional states of others werewolves are......they would no doubt be able to weaponize this against werewolves. After all, even exceptional self control is bound to waver if say, in the presence of large numbers of humans who are being deliberately influenced to give off certain scent cues in mass quantities......just so hunters can pick out at a distance who seems to be reacting to things none of the humans present seem to be aware of, etc.

So things like this are meant to become central to Scott and Allison's burgeoning relationship and the everpresent question they each have for how much they can really trust the other - and trust the other WITH - no matter how much they want to. Even as Scott starts to fall for Allison and believe the best of her, he's very aware of her still existant ties to her family, her own 'pack' - and despite being in possession of so much knowledge about werewolves that could most likely open Allison's eyes even further to how inaccurate most of the information she and others like her father are working off of is......Scott's equally keenly aware that giving her that information COULD still backfire and put his own pack in danger if it for whatever reason doesn't end up being enough to fully bring her over to his side.

Basically the big theme of the story has always been about who can you trust, even when you really WANT to trust them, because even people with similar moralities can have conflicting priorities and its not always enough to just be on the same page in one of those respects.

Anyway, the next chapter is big on introducing the importance of chemo-signals as Peter drives to his meeting with Ennis and tells Cora and Scott to settle between themselves who will accompany him inside (a clear position of prominence relevant to the ongoing power struggle between Cora and Scott for influence among their packmates). And most of that happens by way of the two of them 'scent-talking' to each other in the backseat. Because a side-effect of the idea that smelling chemo-signals prompts certain facial cues in response, as well as exceptional control over their own emotions and thus accompanying physiological cues, means that its possible for werewolves to have very involved silent discussions just by deliberately invoking various scents for the other, etc.

Cora of course wins that mini-battle between them, by way of the leverage she has over Scott now that she knows he's able to lie to Peter without betraying it with his scent or his heartbeat. Peter would never risk having someone capable of lying to him with no sign, so that's as good of a death sentence if he finds out. But at the same time, its something Cora knows she can't milk for too long, because the longer SHE has the information that Scott is capable of that, the less effective it becomes as leverage.....since hiding that from Peter could massively backfire and put her at risk too, meaning there's only so long she can use it as leverage against Scott before it becomes a case of mutually assured destruction and he says 'go ahead, tell Peter, and once he finds out how long you've kept that from him see what position that leaves you in.'

So Cora knows this information is best used sooner rather than later, so she leverages it off the bat, to get Scott to cave on this one and so she's the one to accompany Peter to his top secret meeting with Ennis and learn whatever they're talking about and what the basis of this alliance they seem to have formed is. Also, Peter comes out of the meeting carrying a mysterious box he got from Ennis, that seems to have been his goal all along, and has Cora troubled, but unwilling to divulge any information about what it might be.

Scott however gets something out of the meeting too, because even while left outside, he discovers some key information.....Ennis' pack includes Jiang and Tierney, two members of Brett's old pack that he thought were dead. Ennis had 'taken them in' though they really didn't have a ton of choice in the matter and were less than thrilled about it....which gives Scott the start of an actual plan. Which thickens once he learns Brett's sister Lorilee is alive as well, and a member of Kali's pack, along with refugees from another wiped out pack, the Primals.

Essentially, where this is all building towards is over time, Scott starts reaching out to the exploited and miserable teens stuck at the bottom of abusive packs they never asked to be a part of but are afraid to leave....and begins building an alliance of teens across multiple local packs. None of them are strong enough to overthrow their own Alphas on their own, but together, they could be strong enough to overthrow a single Alpha, and then consolidate as a pack of their own behind a single teen Alpha.

Of course, problem is Cora figures this out eventually as well, and begins building her own rival alliance among teens from Kali's pack and others, and it essentially becomes a race to get an alliance strong enough to topple Peter built first, before the other can make their move.

On Allison's side of things, she begins mentoring the younger teens that Scott picked out as being eyed by his Alpha as potential recruits. This involves teaching them archery at her house one weekend, only to then discover from Gerard's conversation with her parents that hunters recovered the arrow Allison had shot through Isaac's shoulder way back in the first chapter. They found blood on it, and are planning to use it to see if the person that blood belongs to is in the system at all. Which Isaac is, due to being in the foster care system, even if only nominally.

Feeling complicit and not ready to trust the werewolves yet but not willing to feel personally responsible for the death of someone she goes to school with, Allison alerts Scott to the danger. Which in turn leads to the pack under Peter's orders, like, breaking into the facility where the arrow and blood are being analyzed and destroy the sample before it can trace back to Isaac and from there, the rest of them by association.

Problem is, its Matt's first official 'outing' on a werewolf mission and he decides to revel in his newfound power by killing a guard. Welcome to Team Blue Eyes, Mattie. That didn't take long. Not that anyone is surprised, but Scott is a bit screwed by it. Because now Allison is furious and retreating from their slowly building alliance/relationship because she feels guilty that her information led to someone getting killed by a werewolf and thinks she never should have shared her intel even though Scott tries to stress that he had no control over Matt and could do nothing to stop it.

So that kinda puts a roadblock in the Scallison that takes time to work past, though it will of course get worked past.

Meanwhile elsewhere, Peter's plans for turning more freshmen are delayed when Cora and Scott both feel pressed to alert him of a surprising development at Beacon Hills High before the other tells Peter first. Suddenly there are two new werewolves at school - albeit very nervous, scared and confused werewolves - and they aren't transfer students. Someone turned two of their classmates, Tracy and Josh, and that someone was NOT Peter. So now Peter is outraged because someone is turning people in his territory which is a clear challenge from another Alpha, and he wants to know who. Which leads to Erica and Boyd being assigned to tail the new wolves and see who they lead back to.....as well as both Scott and Cora, by now accelerating their efforts to build up support for their positions both inside and outside of the pack, like both of them now make plays to get Erica and Boyd from the No Man's Land they've been residing in, and get them to finally pick a side between the two rivals for Peter's Alpha crown. With the information they glean from following the two new surprise werewolves being vital to both Scott and Cora's plans.

The Alpha in question turns out to be Deucalion, who is back in the area after years away where he seemed uninterested in werewolf politics, but now seems to be intent on building up a new pack for himself across multiple Alphas' territories in earnest.

Meanwhile meanwhile, Scott has started to worry about where Theo's loyalties actually lie, as Boyd informs him that part of what's kept him from throwing in with Scott is Boyd keeps his nose to the ground to stay very informed on what's what and keep abreast of what everyone else is doing at all times - Boyd is very big on the idea that knowledge and thus information is power - so Boyd has been paying more attention to Theo than even Scott has lately, given how much Scott's got going on at the moment. And Theo's been making some moves of his own that have Boyd distrustful of just how much Scott ACTUALLY has his loyalty, and thus Boyd is wary of hitching his wagon to the prospective Alpha who is perhaps not as well or thoroughly supported as he thinks he is, or is counting on being.

So Theo being Theo will complicate matters considerably. Note that I don't go with unnecessarily evil Theo ever, as that's boring, but I always fuck with absolutely and necessarily self-interested and amoral Theo because that's anti-boring. So Theo's not out to screw Scott just to screw him (well not THAT way at least), but Theo is big on covering his bases and he's contemplating making his own bid for power because he's not sure he trusts that Scott can pull this off and Cora's not an option given that he HAS until now been Team Scott in all visible ways, so he's seeking....other options. Just so he can have the most possible options and vet them thoroughly before deciding on a course of action, naturally.

The big tipping point to all of this will come when someone betrays Scott to some hunters and leads to him being captured and identified as a werewolf by some hunters loosely affiliated with Allison's family.....and Allison makes her choice here for good and risks everything to rescue Scott which might involve someone dying. Not a main character. But uh, there definitely is some dying and it makes Allison and Scott both feel things like guilt, regret, self-recrimination and also "I did what I did and that's that about that" with only like 60% of that being bravado to cover up omg I have no idea what I'm even doing anymore.

In order to find somewhere for Scott to recuperate that is not her house, because lol duh, and is not Scott's house, because Peter lol duh, a desperate Allison ends up looping in Lydia, Danny, Jackson and Stiles, and enlisting their help in hiding Scott at Lydia's lakehouse until he recovers. This leads to them all finally being in the know and uncomfortably allying with Isaac and some other werewolf members of Team Scott, who are of course furious at the betrayal of any werewolf giving up one of their own to hunters, let alone Scott.....which leads to the twins making a surprise shift in allegiance, because they think Cora was behind the hunters finding out and that's too far for them. It was NOT in fact Cora, but it might have been someone ON Team Cora who thought they were doing what Cora would have wanted them to do. And by might have I mean definitely and also they were Not Correct in their assumptions about what Cora would want. She and Scott are rivals and she's an antagonist here but she's not evil or even as bloodthirsty as she pretends to be for appearances, but she like Theo is looking out for number one and what she believes is best for what remains of a Hale pack, any Hale pack.

Other stuff happens, Liam does get turned, Mason gets his druidic knowledge on because that's a Trope that no Kalen story will ever be without, and the ultimate showdown between teens and asshole adult werewolves will end with Scott True Alpha level-upping but Peter definitely will still die as will several other Alphas and Scott is not the only teen who ends up an Alpha at the end of things though each teen Alpha will for now go their own way with their own pack made up of kids from the two teen wolf alliances. There will be confrontations with the hunters before the end too, beyond just rescuing Scott from the NPC hunters who are destined for Demiseville, population them, but the hunters will not be 'totally defeated' in as much as that's even a possibility, and the story was always meant to end with the McCall pack and some human allies taking to the road to find somewhere else to establish a territory and build their strength (and graduate high school) before making a full stand against hunters.

Backstory is meant to be filled in all the way through, with a focus on Scott and Derek's not-at-all-like-canon relationship as for the first year or so after Scott was turned, Derek was still around and did his best to help guide and teach Scott while acting as a buffer against his uncle which Scott greatly appreciated and his thoughts of 'fuck you Derek' should be taken as unreliable narration and mostly just cynical humor cuz he misses him. With said backstory reveals culminating in the eventual shocker of how Derek died (surprise, it was Peter in the parlor with the backstabbing and also candlestick), Cora finding out, cue Cora Not Being Very Pleased With Uncle Peter At The Moment, Actually, and like....other shenanigans are had.

Also also there may be a road trip involved at the veeeeeery end, that involves the mysterious box Peter traded something to Ennis for, which may or may not be magic and resurrection-oriented, but also definitely is both those things and aimed at a grand finale of teen Derek rising from mystical waters being like "who the fuck are you" at Scott who smiles and says "we're brothers."

And that's what you missed on Glee.