#and if i formatted wrong. don't tell me. it's ok

[draconicace]

YOU — The clippers at your nape buzz sweetly, the soundwaves filling your skull alongside the friendly conversations happening around you. Finally, your long hair will be gone. Shorn down to the squeaky floor and swept away into oblivion. No more digging out tangles every morning, no more ponytail holders, no more --

QUICK TIME — You're spun around to face the mirror. Your glasses are in your hand under the cape, ready to move. They fit back onto your face like they've come home after a long trip.

NICE ENOUGH HAIR STYLIST — In the clearer view of your glasses, she looks proud of herself. She's been speaking to you periodically, mostly about the recent hurricane.

OBSESSIVE COMPULSION — The mirror reflects your visage into your occipital lobe. Your hair is a choppy mess, skin-crawlingly itch-inducing. It is far too short all around, and looks nearly like a broken bowlcut.

ARTISTIC VISION — This isn't what the pictures you provided look like at all! How dare this woman take such liberties with *your* body. You look like a prepubescent boy who wouldn't sit still at the barber's!

PRESENTATION — Well, at least it doesn't make you look like a girl.

QUICK TIME [Easy: Success] — You've been quiet for too long. Say something.

YOU —

1. - "Oh! It looks... nice..." (Try to smile.)

2. - "Ohhh I'm breaking open the cheap wine tonight."

3. ‐ [Contortionist: Medium 7] — Just scrunch yourself into a turtle position until she can't see you anymore. Then you won't have to pay $35.

[everythingne]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ➛ make it known (op81)

You and Oscar have been friends for almost two decades and it’s been smooth sailing, except for now—when you have to make it publically known you're pining for him to even notice.

oscar piastri x childhood bestfriend!reader smau / face claim: none :D

warnings/notes: none really? one kinda bitchy comment from oscar bc he's king of the sassy man apocalypse. i love this so much, also do we like the new insta post format ?? im kinda meh about it.

liked by oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri, and others...

uruser: last week of cramming before the summer ( and visiting my favorite aussie in monaco ...)

user1: literally my queen.

nicolepiastri: best of luck with finals !!

⤷ uruser: thank u mama piastri !! 🩷

user2: best of luck yn!!

oscarpiastri: see u soon loser

⤷ ururser: u too bitch <3

⤷ logansargeant: what book are u reading now??

⤷ uruser: rereading pride and prejudice again

⤷ logansargeant:so we're watching it again after monaco ? @ oscarpiastri

⤷ oscarpiastri: movie night !!!

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, landonorris, and others...

uruser: ' i know im just a fool who's willing to sit around and wait for you ' 🩷

user3: stop who are u pining for queen ??

oscarpiastri: now whats all this then.

⤷ landonorris: u sound like @ georgerussel

⤷ uruser: lando don't bring more brits on my page pls im scared of u people

⤷ georgerussell: right, whats all this then?

⤷uruser: BACK!!! OUT!!! SHOO!! ALL OF U BOYS. THIS IS FOR THE GIRLS.

user4: oh honey its BAD.

logansargeant: oh this is the approach?

⤷ uruser: im desperate man.

⤷ oscarpiastri: wow. i introduced you to logan and you tell him your secrets before me?

⤷ logansargeant: oscar. i beg you to use your brain.

⤷ user5: logan what do you KNOW?

liked by laufey, nicolepiastri, oscarpiastri, and others...

uruser: new low: crying over lovesick by @ laufey

oscarpiastri: and you still wont tell me who this is about?

user6: and shes so real for this !!

laufey: NO. i didn't mean to make you cry beautiful :(

⤷ ururser: you've revived me by commenting so its ok queen <3

user7: hot take: she's pining over oscar.

⤷ user8: clearly you havent been an oscar fan since prema. this is not a new take LMAOO

user9: oscyn truthers RISE

nicolepiastri: you are too pretty to cry over a pretty song ! be brave and follow your heart !

⤷ uruser: i would if i wasnt afraid it would all go horribly wrong :(

⤷ nicolepiastri: trust me, if he's as smart as he was raised to be, it wont!! 😉

⤷user10: MAMA PIASTRI KNOWS?

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, alexalbon, and others...

uruser: we'll end up like always.

user12: second time shes posted that handwriting....

user12: can someone explain how she and the f1 grid know eachother?? im so confused

⤷ user13: yn is oscar's childhood best friend!! her older brother karted with oscar and logan so she ussed to hang out with them a lot. shes an engineering student at MIT right now :)

lilymhe: oh my god STILL?

alexalbon: this is gonna go to after belgium PAY UP @ logansargeant

⤷ logansargeant: let me have faith alex please

⤷ uruser: i cannot BELIEVE you bet on this.

user14: is oscar writing the notes??

⤷ user15: you might be onto something...

logansargeant: we need to enact phase two. i swear it will work.

⤷ nicolepiastri: uh oh. be careful logan !!

⤷ logansargeant: i will mama piastri !

⤷user16: god speed logan

liked by williamsracing, logansargeant, alexalbon, and others...

uruser: help me tom cruise !! (i got abducted by williams this weekend)

tagged: logansargeant, alexalbon, lilymhe, oscarpiastri

logansargeant: tom cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me !! ( it was great to have you !!)

user17: oscar only in the group photo... logan in almost every picture... yn and logan quoting talladega nights?? we are SO OVER OSCYN TRUTHERS.

williamsracing: blue is a nice change of color for you!

⤷ oscarpiastri: no >:(

⤷ uruser: LMAO OSCAR PLS

oscarpiastri: WOW. my TWO BEST FRIENDS hang out WITHOUT ME.

⤷ uruser: you both hang out without me ALL THE TIME.

⤷ logansargeant: i am the superior driver

⤷ oscarpiastri: and who has a seat next year

⤷ uruser: JESUS CHRIST OSCAR 😭

user18: IS THIS JEALOUSY?

user19: jealousy on oscar is FUNNY

alexalbon: i would say something but im afraid oscars gonna come at me too

⤷ oscarpiastri: 🧍‍♂️

⤷ alexalbon: @ uruser get ur man im scared

⤷ uruser: not my man

lilymhe: so fun to see you this weekend <3

liked by oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri, logansargeant, and others...

uruser: i forgot cats get jealous....

tagged: oscarpiastri

user20: THE IDENTICAL SHOE TYING PHOTOS IM IN TEAARRSSS

oscarpiastri: the cat agenda is so mean

⤷ uruser: says the man literally smacking me to get my attention

⤷ oscarpiastri: it worked didnt it?

nicolepiastri: oscar has always been like that since you two were very young!

logansargeant: phase two complete. good luck soldier 🫡

⤷ uruser: thank u logan, ive got it from here

user21: did they plan to make oscar jealous?? so he would admit he likes yn??

user22: SHUT UP THATS SO FUNNY

landonorris: oh thank god he'll stop whining now

⤷ user23: HELLO?

user24: OSCAR BEING JEALOUS OF LOGAN SHUT UPPPP

liked by logansargeant, alexalbon, oscarpiastri, and others...

uruser: logans plan worked?

tagged: oscarpiastri

logansargeant: and im still alive?

⤷ nicolepiastri: oscar won't kill spiders half the time, I didn't think he'd kill you, logan!

⤷ oscarpiastri: i was gonna ask kmag to hit you again (@ FIA this is a joke.)

⤷ uruser: oscar PLEASE THE FIA??

oscarpiastri: 🧡

⤷ uruser: wow u have such a way with words.

⤷ oscarpiastri: my pr team is staring over my shoulder i have to be careful

⤷ oscarpiastri: what i can say is sorry for being a blind idiot

alexalbon: i cannot BELIEVE this worked?

lilymhe: logan the mastermind, cannot wait to hear his speech at the wedding

landonorris: finally.

⤷ uruser: lando the strongest man thru this all

⤷ landonorris: i have heard oscar admit things you couldnt pry out of me.

⤷ oscarpiastri: literally what?

⤷ landonorris: ur mother is in this comment section, i can't say.

⤷ uruser: LANDO TEXT ME RIGHT NOW.

⤷ oscarpiastri: i was drunk probably

⤷ landonorris: stone cold sober. after practice during belgium?

⤷ oscarpiastri: oops.

⤷ uruser: JAW ON THE FLOOR.

[n0tamused]

HELLO I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT I REMEMBERED WHAT THE REQUEST WAS ABOUT ok here we go

How do you think Ratio would be with a really touch-starved s/o but hides because they're too shy?

Maybe Ratio would notice whenever he would touch reader but not really understand if something's wrong but the reader on the inside is freaking out like "omg omg he's touching me act cool act cool"

But the eventually it gets so much that Ratio asks what's wrong, and reader tells him, and maybe after that reader finally sets free and is very touchy (hugs, touches, and bites) with Ratio to the point that even he gets a bit flustered

Thank you in advance 🙏

— 🦐

A/n: Hii! Thank you for stopping by again and leaving the request. This time it came in lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Contents: Dr. Ratio x GN Reader, fluff, both of y'all are touch starved, headcanon format

-Busy schedules and fleeting touches seems to be the best descriptor to your current state of relationship with Veritas. The former was always there, both of you were busy in truth, and those times you got to yourselves were all the more precious. The latter was something you were trying to branch into something more, yet felt too scared to do so.

-Perhaps the word scared wouldn’t be the best word to use, but it felt so unnatural to want it, yet wanting it all the same. To hold him and be held, to hold his hand and kiss his knuckles, to snuggle up to him on the couch or to rest your head on his shoulder and read off the pages he was reading. It never was a necessity, but rather a small, aching itch underneath your skin

-And under your skin is where it stayed and boiled and cooled down and ached. At times you’d flush at the thought of all these sweet things happening, but when it came to acting upon them, not only were you tongue tied but also incapable of movement by the looks of it

-At best it could be annoying

-Both of you advocated for clear communication, no beating around the bush and no nonsense, so why haven’t you brought this small need up to Ratio? He’d surely understand. In the end, he was human as well, and you knew that better than anyone else. So what’s holding you back?

-You can’t find the answer to that question. You leave it to the back of your mind.

-While PDA isn’t something high on Ratio’s list at all, he indulges in small touches behind closed doors much more than one may think. If you’re sitting together on the couch and you’re close enough, he’d have your legs over his lap and he’d run his hands up and down your shin, sometimes soothing the knots in the muscles of your legs, other times his hand just rests there. He moves you out of the way by placing his hand on your hips and moving you carefully to make more room for him to pass by, this often happens in the kitchen in the early mornings where you’re still droopy eyed and sluggish. Other times its him brushing the tips of his fingers across your jawline before sleep, or when he is walking past you he gives you a deep, much more tender look - a warm look. He smiles with his eyes more than anything..

-There were times you thought he was wordlessly asking for you to hold his hand, but you summed that up to your own selfish desires and not something he wanted. You were clearly imagining things. 

-But as time went on, Ratio couldn’t get it out of his head - your odd behavior when he did indulge in more intimate sides of the relationship. The flush of your cheeks, the uncharacteristic nervousness, the widened eyes, the sudden jumpiness and the fidgeting of your hands and shuffling of feet. To some extent it worried him, and to a greater extent it confused him. You were clearly flustered, but what if there was something underlying, fear perhaps? Now that worried him..

-As soon as it began to gnaw on his mind he asked you about it. ‘What is wrong? Is something wrong?’

-Oh, if you could flush harder you would. The world seemed to get another mute for a few heartbeats, and then that mute began to stammer and trip over words like they were speaking for the first time in a millenia.

-You want more affection but don’t know how to approach him? Touch-starved? 

-Why didn’t you just.. say so? -He is more mind boggled about that than anything else. He knew you were touch starved, he knows you, but the reason he never went out of his way to give you too much affection is because he was still feeling around the boundaries of your relationship, didn’t want to make your comfortable and he didn’t want to taste anything unknown to him as well, not yet. He loves you, but he won’t rush the relationship. 

-After a lengthy conversation about intimacy, pda, cuddles and snuggles, the proverbial knot of tension in your body dissipated, the tension lessened significantly. 

-So you indulge yourself now, still somewhat shy and new to openly showing affection, but he never turned you down unless work called and he needed his alone time. He always held your hand back, patted your head, kissed your knuckles, hugged you longer, and more often now - you found your head in his lap much more frequently, his hands combing through your hair, massaging your scalp. You began leaving fleeting kisses over his jaw or cheeks, and the first time you did it he earned a faint blush across his cheeks. It was just surprising, he said as he coughed into his hand.

-He almost glares at you to steel himself when he sees you standing next to him with that signature look in his eyes that says you’re about to smother him in some quick kisses. It’s a jest of course, he loves the affection though - he’s still getting used to it all along with you.

-You will find yourself getting kissed much more often too, around the house or even in public - although that is much more rare - but he’d kiss your cheek or forehead, hug you and squeeze you and chuckle when you release a huff at how tightly he hugged you. ‘You’re squeezing me’ - ‘Is that a complaint?’

-It will take time in order for the blush on your cheeks to not choke you when you go to him and show him affection, but it doesn’t need to go away. It is cute, you think, how your heart flutters and feels at ease now whenever he reciprocates the affection.  Although he'll take longer to get to those bites of yours. He does return those as well, for your information.

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[wttcsms]

WAIT DON'T CLOSE IT YET!!!!! the 'love story told in untraditional format' prompt and DABI??? mm.

would like to meet, touya todoroki ;

pairing touya 'dabi' todoroki x f!reader word count 1.9k synopsis the dregs of society run rampant on hinge, and everyone knows you're not going to meet The One on there. but you know the saying... love does come when you least expect it. alternatively: catching feelings through the hinge dms. content contains one reference to jumping off a building, some sexual jokes author's notes OK not necessarily a love story, but there are feelings in involved, i swear. this is supposed to be fun & silly!!!!

You nearly throw your phone across the room. Download Hinge, your friends encouraged you. It’ll be fun! 

You frown at Shigaraki’s ever-so-eloquent opening line of I’d blow yo back out. Yeah, you can see why this app was designed to be deleted. The fucking dregs of society are crawling all over this thing. Just one nice, well-adjusted individual. That’s all you’re asking for! 

Apparently, any decent guy is either taken or not on Hinge. You debate throwing in the towel and just meeting someone organically, like, out in public, exactly as the good lord intended, but right before you do, your phone vibrates.

New Notification!

Hinge | Dabi liked your image!

Hinge | Dabi sent you a chat!

It’s a Friday night, and you know for a fact that there is not a single sane man on this app, especially at this hour. Considering the fact that you’re sitting in bed right now, about to rewatch Pride & Prejudice for the sixth time this week, what else do you have to lose? Dignity? You open the app.

Apr 22 10: 24 PM

Dabi: You’re hot, what’s wrong with you

You: ?? 

Dabi: You’re too hot to be single and on here. What’s your deal 

You: you’re on here too? 🤨

Dabi: Would you say I’m too hot to the point where it’s suspicious I’m on here

You: i’m not here to give you an ego boost

Dabi: Then what’s the point of being on here

You: so you just get on here for free compliments?

Dabi: Maybe I have premium. Maybe I pay for these compliments 

You: yeah, you look like the type to pay for hinge premium ngl 

Dabi: Bye I’m going to talk to girls that are easier to manipulate 

You: please do 🙏 

Apr 23 1:21 PM

Dabi: Did you miss me

Apr 23 3:15 PM

You: so much

Apr 23 4:47 PM

Dabi: How much

Apr 23 6:01 PM

You: i was going to jump off a bridge if u didn’t text me 

Apr 23 8:01 PM

Dabi: Damn that’s crazy

Dabi: How I don’t care 

Apr 23 10:15 PM

You: don’t you have anyone else to bother

Dabi: I want to bother you though 

You: you probably scared off every girl you’ve ever come in contact with 

Dabi: True

Dabi: Except for you because you’re stupid

You: you pay for hinge premium, there’s an idiot in this conversation but it’s def not me

Dabi: I was joking 

Dabi: I don’t have money like that

You: i can tell

You: you probably take girls out for coffee as a first date, and then make them venmo u their half of the bill

Dabi: Nah

Dabi: I make her pay the full amount

You: i’m not surprised

Dabi: That was a joke too

Dabi: I never take girls out 

You: thank God

You: you’d probably be every girl’s worst date story

Dabi: Want to test that theory out 

You: no thanks, i don’t feel like being content material for some crime podcast 

Dabi: Smart girl

Apr 24 12:13 PM

Dabi: Wyd

You: at the police station, filing a restraining order on you 

Dabi: Damn 

Dabi: You want to be the one to put me in cuffs

You: the officer here actually has pink cuffs, i know some guys find that emasculating but you seem like you wouldn’t mind

Dabi: I love pink actually 

Dabi: I’m so down

You: i think you’re my dream guy

You: more like my sleep paralysis demon, but same difference 

Dabi: Aw you think of me when you sleep

Dabi: You’re that obsessed already

You: stfu 

Dabi: Don’t feel bad 

Dabi: I’m a munch fr

Dabi: I need u

You: what you need is to be put on some medication 

Dabi: Yeah you’re my medication

You: you need to be psychologically evaluated 

You: r u a social experiment 

Dabi: Stop flirting with me 

You: you’re so childish

Dabi: Am I bothering you

Dabi: Do I elicit strong emotions 

You: you don’t look like someone who knows the word elicit 

Dabi: I’m in grad school

You: wow

You: this is the first time you’ve left me genuinely speechless 

Apr 24 3:55 PM

Dabi: Yo when’s ur bday 

Dabi: Do you have any siblings 

You: are u gonna ask for my mother’s maiden name too 

Dabi: Yeah actually 

Dabi: Give me your ssn while you’re at it

You: ur a creep, ur lucky ur cute

Dabi: Wow, you can’t have deep convos with anyone any more without being accused of trying to get answers to their security questions

You: tell me something abt you first

Dabi: My dad sucks

You: yeah you look like you would have daddy issues

Dabi: Lmao

Dabi: I’m being fr though

You: yeah, a lot of dads do suck. what abt the rest of ur family?

Dabi: I haven’t seen them in years

You: oh

You: do they suck too?

Dabi: Nah

Dabi: I moved out as soon as I could 

You: your dad was that bad?

Dabi: The worst

You: are you trying to get pity pussy rn???? don’t tug on my heartstrings if it’s all just a lie

Dabi: Damn wtf

Dabi: But also depends. Do u wanna give me some pity pussy rn

You: bye i thought we were actually having a serious moment 

Dabi: I wasn’t lying. Swear

Dabi: Now tell me something too

You: im an attention seeker. that’s why im on here

Apr 25 1:56 PM

Dabi: Did u miss me not giving u attention

Apr 25 3:56 PM

You: sorry, i was having really crazy sex waiting for u to come back

Dabi: Fire

Dabi: You deserve it

Dabi: Me next?

You: only if you promise to tell me u love me before the post nut clarity hits

Dabi: I love manipulating women during sex

Dabi: Anything for u 

You: you say that but someone else is in my dms telling me that i can be his housewife and raise our kids and never work a day in my life again so pls top that offer 

Dabi: DAMN

Dabi: I bet he’s boring 

You: he’s not boring, we’re actually getting married and gonna have a big family

Dabi: Well clearly the fact that ur talking about him to me shows that u aren’t interested in him 

You: i’m telling u abt him so u have something to aspire to

Dabi: Damn you should date him then 

You: that’s the first intelligent thing you’ve said 

Apr 26 7:00 AM

Dabi: I hate you

Dabi: Wyd today

You: pls mind ur own business 

Dabi: Smd

Dabi: Tell me or I block you

Apr 26 8:19 AM

Dabi: U suck

You: and swallow

Dabi: No you don’t

Dabi: You probably spit it out

Apr 27 9:34 AM

You: true but in my defense, you look like you would produce something that tastes like toxic waste

Dabi: Were u deadass ignoring me 

You: don’t be so needy, dabi. it’s not a good look

Dabi: Sorry that was a moment weakness 

Dabi: So what now

Dabi: Is this when u give me ur insta

You: i don’t have any social media

Dabi: Nah you’re a catfish

You: maybe

Apr 27 1:34 PM

Dabi: Wyd

You: you’re a true wyd warrior, do u realize that

You: i’m currently getting my back blown out by a dude who posted his headshot as one of his hinge pics. i am not even faking my moans.

Dabi: Stfu 😂

Dabi: Do u even know what sex is

Dabi: Name one position 

You: easy, missionary 

Dabi: Well you’re on your phone so obviously the sex you’re having isn’t that good 

You: im just a good multitasker 

Dabi: tell me if ur shit is grippy

You: hold on, let me ask him

Dabi: Whats his name

Dabi: Whats he saying

You: don’t worry abt his name

You: he told me im gripping him so tight, it’s like i’m trying to take his blood pressure rn

Dabi: LMAO 

Dabi: That means ur not attracted to him

You: wow, a guy who knows that tight doesn’t equal aroused, i’m genuinely impressed w you 

You: and for the record, i would never actually fuck a guy who posts a professional headshot as one of his pics on hinge 

Dabi: Oh now you tell me

Dabi: Guess I have to cancel the appointment I just made to get a headshot done 

Apr 28 6:20 AM

Dabi: Im leaving Okinawa to go back to work. I’m sad, cheer me up

You: just commit a crime so they won’t let you leave

You: also i think maybe u need a psych eval or smth bc why are u still talking to me 🤨

Dabi: Nah tbh you’re the most interesting person on here

Dabi: I’m gonna go to tokyo and commit a crime on u 

You: yea, u not being in my guts rn should be a crime

Dabi: Chill my dick isn’t big enough for that 😂 

You: i want you to seek professional help

Dabi: I want u to seek these nuts in ur mouth

You: when should i ghost you

Dabi: Whenever u want bae you can ghost me anytime 

Apr 28 7:26 AM

Dabi: REPLY

You: u literally told me i could ghost u anytime WHAT IS UR DEAL

Dabi: Damn ok well when you do at least say goodbye

You: when i do, i’m reporting ur hinge account in the hopes that u get banned and have to resort to meeting women irl

You: i’m actually reporting ur account rn

Dabi: Good idea

Dabi: I’ll report u too 

Dabi: Before you get banned from hinge, can I have your number

You: no

You: i don’t give my number out to random ass strangers online

You: and ‘dabi’ is a weird name to have saved in my contacts

Dabi: Touya

Dabi: That’s my real name

You: oh

You: who the hell uses a fake name on a dating app??? 😭

Dabi: Stranger danger is real

Dabi: If I take you out on a date will you give me your number

You: a REAL date???

Dabi: Yeah I’m actually a gentleman in case you couldn’t tell

You: i don’t know how i could’ve missed that fact.

Dabi: I’m being fr though

Dabi: Dinner reservations and everything

You: are you paying the entire bill 🤨

Dabi: Why wouldn’t I

You: hmmm

You: every sex joke i made was definitely just a joke though, pls don’t get any crazy ideas

Dabi: Obviously you were joking, I’m not an idiot

You: you’re not gonna try to hit on the first date?

Dabi: If it’ll make you more comfortable, I’ll tape a 10 ft pole to my chest so I can’t get anywhere near you

You: cute

Dabi: Dinner tomorrow?

You: yes, dinner tomorrow 

Dabi: And if I do well, I get your number?

You: hmmm

You: i guess

Dabi: Fuck yeah

Dabi: I’m tired of texting you through hinge 

You: you only get it IF you do well

Dabi: I’m gonna rock your shit 

Dabi: Romantically 

You: sure you will

Apr 30 12:01 AM

Are you sure you want to delete the Hinge app?

Yes | No

You selected Yes! Reason for deletion?

[ ] No new matches

[ ] App is difficult to work with

[ ] Found another app to use

[ X ] I met someone

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Two Peas In A Pod

—A blessing... or a calamity in disguise?

Fandom: Blue Lock

Pairing: Nagi X Fem!Reader

Genre: Crack, Humor, Horror

Format: Short fic

Warnings: Breast feeding, Jealousy, Probably ooc!Nagi

Word Count: 1.5K

A/n: Idk I just thought this would fit him lol. Might remind you of boss baby.

There are moments in life which can never be forgotten. Long awaited moments that leave a sweet velvety taste in your mouth and get engraved on your memory,

Moments like this.

Nagi is in hospital, standing next to the delivery room with his infant in his arms. He's wearing the most genuine smile he could ever wear, staring at his baby boy's angelic face. The baby has the tiniest hands ever that would get lost in his if he were to hold them, and the cutest chubby feet ever. He could just eat them right away.

"Wow Nagi, he looks just like you!" Reo says, smiling at the sight while snapping a picture. "You two are like two peas in the pod, except that his hair isn't long enough to be as messy as yours"

"I know. I did hope he'd take after y/n, but he's still cute"

Your husband looks so grown up like this with a baby in his hands. That's what makes Reo to snap another picture, this time in full frame of both Nagi and the baby. His smile is as soft as when he watched him saying his vow to you, and he can't help but to feel happy for his best friend.

"I'm gonna go get a cup of coffee and call Isagi and others. They've been waiting for the news"

"Ok"

Nagi's gaze doesn't leave the baby's face to follow Reo's footsteps walking away. He persistently stares at the baby's closed eyelids, wondering if they're hazel colored like his, or have the color of your eyes. Maybe it's a mixture of both, he thinks, if it's possible. He doesn't have to wait for long to find out though, because suddenly, the baby's eyelids start shuddering and in less than a second, they're wide open, displaying the warm chocolate brown color of his eye balls.

Every inch of his figure resembles his father. Even the look in his eyes is curious, just like Nagi's is right now.

"Welcome home, little thing. We're gonna have so much fun together, me and you"

��

"I don't think that's gonna happen"

Nagi doesn't know whether he should believe his ears, or his eyes. A talking baby? That's a miracle! Babies don't start talking until they're two years old, but this one in his arms was definitely the one talking a little while before, since his intense stare is piercing through Nagi's heart.

I must have very strong genes.

"What do you mean, that's not gonna happen?"

"Oh sorry, I guess I wasn't being clear on the matter" The baby speaks in a semi-grown up voice. "I meant that, you won't be having much fun from now on"

"How come?"

The baby's innocent expression is all gone. Now there's a straight yet devilish look on his face which Nagi doesn't find charming. "I thought you would already figure out that much, but I guess I was wrong. Heh...what a pain"

"Stop giving me that shit and tell me already"

"You don't care much for sharing; do you, my dear father?"

Oh.

Nagi doesn't like where this is going. He feels an unwelcoming sense of threat in his heart.

"So what? Are you saying you're gonna steal y/n from me?"

"No..."

The grin on the baby's face isn't casual. All of a sudden, Nagi doesn't find a single thing resembling him. The baby looks more like... Light Yagami from death note, the blond version.

"...I'm saying that I already have"

This can't be happening.

"Tough luck. You'll never be able to split us off. Y/n's love for me is boundless. I'm her one and only"

"You were her one and only" His gums are visible through his demonic smirk. "Now that I'm here, you won't get a quarter of the attention you used to receive. From now on, I'll be the one who sleeps in her arms at— well all the time. She'll always be near me, looking after me since I'm just a fragile little thing. The time she used to spend alone with you is gonna be limited to less than ten minutes, and your share of affection will also be mine. Even if you two do get the time to be alone with each other, she'll be too exhausted to even look at your face. She wouldn't miss it, since she gets to be with me all the time"

The world comes crashing down on the white haired man. Through his storming mind, he can see himself curled up under the strangely ice cold blanket while staring at you frustratingly, asking you to get in the bed with him already. But standing on the other side of the room, it feels like you're a thousand miles away, voice barely making its way to his hear yet so destructively striking him, saying you have to put the baby to sleep first. Even after doing that, you're so tired that you pass out on the bed before Nagi can even lay a finger on you.

"Not only that, I'm gonna take away all the other things you enjoy as well"

Another illusion appears before his eyes, only this time he's sitting on the couch, and you're standing in front of him, wearing a somewhat annoyed expression.

"I'm sorry Sei, but we can't afford to buy more video games anymore. We have to start saving up for Light's college"

No.... that can't be real. He can't give up on his video games for a serial killer's his child's future. That's absurd. You're not expecting him to do that, are you? You know how video games are important to him.

"Just you wait my stupid father, I will take everything you cherish in your life, and it starts from this very moment, with your most loved one"

His most... loved one?

Just as he's about to ask the little demon about his intention, the door to the room opens and a nurse comes out. "Alright! It's the baby's lunch time"

No. Not that.

"His lunch time? You mean, y/n's gonna feed her...?"

Nagi's voice is shivery, like he didn't know about how the babies drink milk. The nurse is a little taken aback by that, but still keeps her smile on.

"Yes sir, he needs to be fed right now, so if I may..." She reaches out to take the baby from his embrace, but fails when Nagi steps back.

"You... can't do that. I mean, this baby looks like he should drink formula milk instead of breast milk. It'll be better for him"

"The hell are you talking about, Nagi? Let the nurse take him to y/n" Reo suddenly appears next to him, giving him a questioning look.

"No— You don't understand— I—"

"What's up with you man? Here, ma'am; take the little thing to his mommy"

Nagi feels all the misery existing in the world raining on him as he watches the nurse take the infant to you. Reo looks away when you pull up your hospital gown to reveal the enchanting sight of your breast that are bigger than usual and are full of milk, all ready to be devoured in the baby devil's throat. This is it. The beginning of his torment, the sight of his most comforting treasure being possessed by another person, shattering his heart into a zillion pieces.

"No..."

The baby squeezes your right nipple with his hand, letting out a small whine.

"Stop it... No..."

You softly caress his cheek and baby talk him to enjoy his meal.

Why can't all of you people see his devilish smirk?

"No..."

The baby looks at him from the corner of his eyes. He's taking his most special thing, his stress balls, his warm pillows he snuggles his face into at nights, his soft squishies he plays with whenever he's bored, his delicious jello balls he sucks on to help him go to sleep...

"No... No... No..."

You hold your left boob and snuggle him closer to help him drink, and he helps himself out, by brutally taking it into his mouth.

It happens.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Then Nagi wakes up from his sleep.

Through his blurry vision, he recognizes his room in the middle of the night, and of course, your kind hand on his shoulder.

"Sei? Are you ok sweetheart?"

Nagi keeps panting. He hurriedly looks around the room to see any sign of the baby, but thankfully, he finds nothing. He can't ignore the cute bump of your belly under your oversized T-shirt though.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"If the baby looks like me we'll give it away"

"Excuse me??!"

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

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[equallyshaw]

not about angels | mat barzal

word count: 3.0k

warnings: talks of cancer and death.

It would be lovely if the format didn’t change after every save omg

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

We know full well there's just time So is it wrong to dance this line? If your heart was full of love Could you give it up?

◦

we only have so long in this life, until our journey is meant to end. only so much time to spend with loved ones and create memories that can last a lifetime. only so much time until things can change, much to our dismay.

when mat got the call, it was as if the whole world stopped. he was in the process of getting ready for a home game and maggie was incessant in trying to get ahold of him. well, her mom was.

"hey, im in the middle of-" and mat was cut off by sobbing - scratch that, screeching. his heart fell to his stomach, as maggie's mom explained that he needed to get home.

"i can't come home right now-" again, he was cut off. "mat - mat, maggie has cancer. she just got the news hun." maggie's mom explained, her voice faltering in and out.

mat dropped the tape and stick, and stared at the ground. he couldn't move, he couldn't speak and felt as if his world was frozen. "mat?" she questioned as tears began to form in his brown eyes, and then he looked down and let out a small whimper. this was not how maggie had planned for him to find out, but she wanted him home. anders lee looked over a few stalls and saw mat begin to cry, and quickly looked around and saw a few other guys begin to look up. "tell her- tell her im coming home- now." he said before hanging up. he wiped his eyes, sniffling, and standing up.

"mat." anders said standing up and trying to assess the situation, and mat couldn't look at anybody in the eye "i - i have to go find coach, let him know i - i have to go home." he said before walking out. he found coach pretty quickly and as soon as he said told the news to him, he broke down. him and management would do what they needed to do to give him some time off, so they could process it together as a couple. mat thanked them before quickly going and changing to head out. "mat, is everything okay?" matt martin questioned as he sat back down next to him. mat shook his head, continuing to get changed. before mat was about to leave matt spoke up, "if you need anything from us just let us know ok?" matt said and mat thanked him before walking out. he sat in the car for a few moments before heading home.

mat made it home in about 35 minutes, quickly heading inside, and was met with sobbing. he followed it to the living room to see maggie in her mom's arms trying to comfort her daughter. "mags?" he asked setting his keys down on the coffee table in front of them and maggie's sobs ceased. she turned around slowly, her cheeks stained with tears and crimson red. her mom got off the couch and said she was going to call maggies dad, and mat took over. "mat-" she sobbed and mat nodded, "i know." he repeated over and over again softly. his heart broke as he listened to her sobs and the way her body crumbled in his arms. he rubbed her back, his body slowly relaxing as her sobs grew softer and softer until she wasn't crying. "i didn't want to tell you that way, im so sorry mat." she said looking up from his chest and his eyebrows crinkled in confusion. "don't apologize for one second. you needed me and wanted me home, you know ill come running always mags." he said softly kissing her temple. she nodded, "doctor says i don't have very long.." she said feeling herself beginning to cry again. "he says its too far along for chemo." she said before her body began to shake, and mat pulled her in tighter. in fear of losing her for just one second.

this was the absolute love of his life, he knew the second he saw her from across the bar. newly 21, she decided to head to a bar that her and her friends had never been to in manhattan, and that was where she first sat mat. just like any other girl, she was a goner. there conversation in that bar, lasted for a few hours before heading back to her place to continue that said conversation. they couldn't get enough of one another, mat even stayed in the off season for pretty much the full thing just so they wouldn't be apart. only going home, when she was able to get a week off.

how could he be losing the one thing that mattered most in this universe? the one person he only saw himself having kids with? the one who goes above and beyond for any and all events while maintaining a full time job as a paralegal? the one person that no matter what could put a smile on his face, and garner a chuckle from even after the most brutal of brutal losses. how could he lose the one that he believed was created for him and vice versa? who's hand fit in his or the way their arms felt like home to one another? how could he give up that for a life of unknowns and one where he goes back to the drawing board?

◦

'Cause what about, what about angels? They will come, they will go, make us special, oh

◦

maggie was his angel, and he was her's they always liked to say. heck, they were even named that on their phone's. he knew that he had met maggie and created a life with her, for a reason. there was something deeper and more meaningful in knowing her and loving her than mat could ever decipher. those three months of holding on only to let his angel go, was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, and hoped that it would be the only hardest thing he'd have to endure. he watched as her body gave up on itself, and the smile that usually was plastered on her pale skin- gone. wiped clean and stripped. he watched as she lost her hair, and her sense of confidence was swept away. the love for life slowly crumbled for the frail girl. her sense of days and time blurred together, resulting in anger, grief, and confusion for her. mat always there to pick her up, help her gain a sense of reality and come back to the present. and then for her to enter hospice for only a few days, spawning in one last sleep together. one last goodnight kiss for his fiance.

he would go back in time to redo the last two years. he would give up anything in this lifetime to have more time with her. he would do anything to hold her close once more.

◦

Don't give me up

◦

maggie made mat promise that he would move on with life, he would move on with hockey and move on and find somebody else in this lifetime. she begged and pleaded, to not walk through life alone. that he was far too young and had way too many years left to be alone. mat couldn't get her to understand that he would never want anybody else. that there would be no other woman that he'd fall in love with. he also would not allow himself, in respect to her. maggie said that he could fall in love again, and that it would be ok. that he could still live his life and hold her in his heart forever, all while creating a life with somebody else. somebody else should be so ever lucky to know him and love him, and gain his love in return.

"matty.." maggie whispered, one cold winter night. mat's sleep schedule non existant since taking a leave of absence from the team. his sleep being short and light, with every move or sound maggie made. he quickly opened his eyes, looking down at her as she turned around in his arms. her soft green hazel eyes, puffy and encircled by bags. "whats wrong? do you need anything?" he questioned beginning to shift but she shook her head. "i just-i cant sleep." she murmured, biting her chapped lip. "what are you thinking about?" he questioned softly, pushing the few strands she had left. she clasped her eyes shut in embarrassment and guilt that was coursing through her veins at this point. "im sorry." she hummed, as she let a few tears fall. "what are you sorry for?" he questioned, wiping them gently. "im sorry for everything....im sorry that this happened...you don't deserve this at all. you shouldn't have to watch me falling apart like this. you-you deserve to be playing and developing your career, not be here with me." she said and mat shook his head. he couldn't think of any reason why she was thinking this, or any reason why she thought it to be true. but he knew why. "no. no. please don't say that mags. there is no way under any circumstance that i would not be here. no reason. i would -" he paused knowing that the next few words needed to send the message. "i would kill myself if i couldn't be here. i wouldn't be able to live withmyself and go on with my day to day or life for that matter if i wasn't here, because you'd be my every thought and concern." he paused as she looked up to meet his eye. "i vowed two months ago that i would be here through everything and i meant that. don't give me up maggie, because ill be here no matter what. ill be stubborn as hell if you banish me, you best believe." he said a bit cheekily at the end. she swallowed hard, her throat dry like the arizona desert at this time of the night.

she brought a soft hand to his cheek, and he closed his eyes savoring the feeling and the cold that oozed from her. when he reopened his eyes, he saw the tears that were still in her eyes. "whoever is lucky to find you in this lifetime, is one incredibly lucky girl." she hummed and he felt his heart break even more.

◦

How unfair, it's just our luck Found something real that's out of touch But if you'd searched the whole wide world Would you dare to let it go?

◦

maggie was adored by each and every person that came across her. her midwestern people pleasing and kindness made her somebody that people flocked to. that was partially why he was enamored the moment he left her apartment after the two spent 6 hours talking.

his grieving was stemmed in anger and frustration, that somebody so sweet and loving and a pearl in this world, could be taken away so quickly. her dreams and wildest ideas that would never come to fruition. mat would go to the ends of the earth just to be with her again. he'd never let go, in another lifetime. in another lifetime they were married and had kids and had the life they dreamed of; together.

◦

'Cause what about, what about angels? They will come, they will go, make us special, oh

◦

trigger warning: death.

mat and maggie lay in each others arms, as the nurse had just left for the evening. maggie had some inkling that tonight would be her last, as maggie had just entered hospice in their home a few days prior. her days had been filmed with a nurse coming in the morning to administer morning meds, they'd leave and come back in the afternoon for more meds and then come back in the evening to take vitals and more meds.

mat basked in these quiet moments when she wasn't vomiting or shaking with chills from the side effects that the meds gave her. he'd been able to savor and cherish these small moments when maggie's true self came through. he savored her little giggles, rambles, and her humor come through before she'd fall asleep.

maggie looked up at mat and smiled. "what?" he said grinning, her smile sending butterflies from head to toe. "i was just thinking..." she paused frowning slightly now, "i hope that-that in every other universe or lifetime, we got one another. perhaps in those ones...we got more time together." she said beginning to cry. mat pulled her in closer, joining in now. he sobbed into her neck as she cried into his chest. "every single one, mags. every one." he whispered loud enough for her to hear and that made her sob even more.

mat knew as soon as she fell asleep, she would not wake again. he didn't sleep one second that evening, watching as her chest rose and fell. fearing that if he did, she would slip from this world. it was around 5:34 when the sun was beginning to rise, he saw her chest fall for the last time before the machine went off. he pulled her in as tears fell, not wanting to let go for the final time. her parents ran in at the sound, her mom going to shut the machine off whilst her dad called 911. his parents came in and quickly went to console maggies parents before all of them took their final moments with her, with mat not wanting to let go.

◦

"she was the love of my life, since the moment i saw her. the very first word out of her mouth, i knew she'd be mine. we were destined for each other, and liked to say we were made for one another. she was my angel and i her's." mat paused, sniffling. "magdalene harper, was an angel to everybody that came across her. no one had anything bad to say about her, always going above and beyond; all with her incredible midwestern accent that i absolutely adored." he said pausing to smile. "she was always there to put a smile on my face, to make me crack even after a brutal loss, always ready to tickle if i didn't budge. gosh...she always knew how to make me gain perspective and understanding. always coming in with an angle on life, that i would have never thought of without her." he paused, wiping his eye. "that's what i loved most..was her keen ability to make sense of life and what it had given her, us, me. you name it, she always knew how to take the bad and make it into the good. i believe that the universe placed her in my life for a reason, one that i may never understand or figure out. and ill never understand why she was taken from us far too early, but i know deep down she was here for a reason. she was one of those persons in life, that you wanted to know. she left you with something each and every time you conversed or shared a moment with her." he paused to sniffle once more. he bit his lip, wiping a few tears. "before my grandmother passed on my dad's side, about 4 years ago now she had said something about maggie." he paused to smile, "my grandmother said, people will come in and out of your life, for whatever reason but only some will leave you with something to hold dearly for the rest of your life. and in the next moment, she said that i had to marry this one, that i cannot let this one go. i told her not a beat later, i had the ring. that i had had it for a few weeks at that point. that i was just waiting for the right time, and my grandmother said she felt at peace knowing that i had somebody in my life at such a young age to go through life with. she felt better knowing that i'd be loved for the rest of time, by an angel." he paused briefly before his final sentences. "she loved selflessly. she loved me without hesitation, she loved everybody selflessly even on the hard days, even when she was frustrated with the world, even when i was in a rut, she'd be there with that smile on her face that gave me butterflies from head to toe. that was the hardest thing I've had to grapple with and work through is that how could somebody that loved me and so many others, leave so soon? im afraid me nor anybody in this room will ever know that answer. but like my grandmother said, "people will come in and out of your life, for whatever reason but only some will leave you with something to hold dearly for the rest of your life". though i may not have gotten the lifetime that we vowed to one another, and one that we yearned for; i will forever hold the time, memories, and the love that we had for one another; forever." he finished, leaning away from the stand just a bit silently crying for a few seconds before wiping them away. everybody that was there, watched with sadness and despair.

mat did not deserve this. maggie did not deserve the pain that she went through. none of their inner circle deserved it either.

◦

mat went to bed most nights, in hopes of seeing maggie in his dreams. and for a long while she was there, but as time went on, his dreams turned and changed as the years went by. though, every once in a while if he saw something or heard something that reminded him of maggie, she'd plague his dreams like never before. and when he'd wake, he'd smile as his heart was a little heavy but smile because in his dreams, she was pain free and exactly who she was before cancer.

and he would always remind himself that at some point, they'd be together again.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Hope you enjoyed, please like and reblog if you did (:

tags: @cuttergauthier @hockeyboysarehot @nicohischierz @fallinallincurls @bitchinbarzal @jayda12

[hannahxhoney]

we don't talk anymore - e. munson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

eddie munson x female!reader

summary: after years of not talking, you see eddie at a party and things get heated. i suck at writing these lol

warnings: kinda angsty, a little bit of asshole!eddie, cursing, use of y/n, and arguements

fic is kind of inspired by the song “we don’t talk anymore” by selena gomez and charlie puth

also this was written on mobile so sorry if the formatting is off! thank you for reading!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Eddie have always been friends. Ever since you were kids, you and him were inseparable. Long days at the trailer park during the summer, being outside and playing make believe with him. Cold nights in the winter where you would make hot cocoa and watch Christmas movies on your family's beat up couch together. Everyday you spent with him, was always your favorite. Him being about two years older than you meant that all the other kids at school your age would leave you alone, since you were always hanging out with the older kids like Eddie. But you wouldn't have it any other way. Eddie was fun, kind, and so brave that sometimes you felt that his courage would get him in trouble one day. He was your best friend and you were his. There wasn't a day that went by when you wouldn't see Eddie and his goofy smile.

Until now.

It was the summer before you started high school and Eddie was already going to be a Junior. You were excited to go into such an intimidating place already knowing someone. You knew Eddie would help you with whatever you needed, and would even let you sit with him and his friends during lunch. But as the summer went by in a blur, so did that excitement. You didn't see much of Eddie during that summer. He always said he was busy hanging out with his friends or planning his next campaign. You understood, but you still felt disappointed that you didn't get to hang out much during those two months. Before you knew it, it was already August and school was starting in three days. You were still excited that you wouldn't be completely alone going into it, but it all felt weird because you haven't really talked to nor seen Eddie in two weeks. He was never at his trailer when you went to see if he was free and he was ignoring your calls. On the off chance that you did see him, he was still regular Eddie. He was kind and always cracking jokes with you, but your conversations with him were always a quick "hi" and "bye" before he left. Because he always had something to do these days, other than hanging out with you. You started to think that maybe you did something wrong, or said something to upset him.

It was the Friday night before school started, and you were re-reading The Lord of the Rings for the third time, until you heard your mom calling and saying there was someone on the phone for you.

When you got to the phone you were a bit confused, because who would be wanting to talk to you this late at night? Until you heard his voice.

"Hey y/n."

You were surprised to hear from him right now, but happy that he called.

"Hey Eds! How are you?"

There was a beat of silence before he replied.

"I'm fine, but I wanted to talk to you about something."

You were confused what he wanted to say, since you haven't done much talking to him recently.

"Ok, what did you want to talk about Eddie?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I think it's best if we don't hang out anymore."

"Wait what-"

"I don't want to be friends with you anymore, y/n."

It felt like you got hit by a two ton semi truck in the heart when he said those words.

"What do you mean? What's wrong Eddie?"

"I mean that I don't want to be associated with some stupid freshman that follows me around like a lost puppy all the damn time. It's annoying y/n. You always want to hang out with me, but I thought you would get a clue by now since I've been ignoring you. We aren't kids anymore y/n. Yeah we were best friends at one point, but I don't want to be friends with you anymore."

"Eddie, I don't understand. What happened? Did I do something wrong? I-I don't know why you're changing all of a sudden?"

"Look y/n, please just leave me alone and stop trying to call me. I don't want to talk to you anymore."

"Eddie please I-"

"Goodbye y/n".

He hung up. He broke your heart and just hung up the phone, like it was nothing. I guess it was nothing, to him at least. You spent the weekend crying and trying to prepare yourself to see him on Monday morning. You always loved seeing him, but now every time you see his face you're reminded of the time you lost your bestfriend.

It was now your senior year, and Eddie's second. Freshman year felt like hell for you. Having to see his face everyday felt like pure torture, but by winter break you were starting to feel better about it each day. And as you entered your sophomore year, you had made some friends and joined the photography club at Hawkins Highschool. But now, sometimes it feels like you never knew him. He got taller, grew out his hair, and started growing into his rock star look. If you were any other girl, you would have a huge crush on him. But you're not, you know who he actually is. And sometimes you feel stupid that you ever fell for his act and actually liked him. But you grew up too. Puberty hit you hard the summer after freshman year, and you grew into yourself. You developed your own style, learned how to do your hair and the occasional makeup, and developed a wall of confidence that no one can break through. Not even him. You ended up becoming really good friends with Jonathan Byers through your shared love of photography. And when he started dating Nancy Wheeler, you guys got closer too. You would hang out them during and after school, and sometimes even Steve Harrington would join you guys. Since Nancy's little brother is in Hellfire club, you occasionally cross paths with Eddie. He always seems to ignore you, but every once in a while you catch him staring at you. You don’t understand why though, it was his decision to cut things off. Every now and then when it’s late you think of showing up at his door, to really ask him after all this time if he still feels good about that decision but you know that would be wrong. Of course he feels good about it, especially when he has his hands all over a girl at a random party.

Just like right now.

One of the popular jocks at the school - probably Jason Carver - is hosting the usual friday night party tonight and you, Jonathan, Nancy, and Steve all decided to go. Steve already found his girl to take home tonight, a pretty blonde girl who is putting it on pretty heavily by laughing at the jokes Steve is telling that you know aren’t funny. Nancy and Jonathan are outside talking about who knows what, but they always seem to be having fun with each other know matter what they’re doing. That’s why you’re alone in the corner of the room sipping on a mixed drink that is slowly making you feel that warm feeling through your veins. That is also why you catch Eddie’s eyes as he dances with some girl. She’s pretty, skinny, and her hair is dyed a dark blue color. A girl you would typically think Eddie would be attracted too. So why is he still staring at you, when his hands are on her? You don’t care enough to find out, so you walk away looking for something much better to do. To your surprise, you actually end up finding it. So now you’re the one dancing with a random guy. He’s cute, at least cute enough to distract you from whatever was happening between you and Eddie. Plus with the alcohol fairly well into your system by now, you’re even thinking of asking him if he wants to go upstairs. As you’re about to ask said question, you’re suddenly pulled away by the arm by a strong hand.

“What the fuck-“

It wasn’t till you got a look at the long curls of the person dragging you out of the house then you really lost it.

“Munson what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Once you were outside, you pulled your arm away and faced the person that all your anger is directed at right now.

“What am I doing? What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Dancing? You’re mad at me for dancing at a party!?”

“No! I’m mad that you’re throwing yourself at some guy that asked me if I knew anyone that had coke at the party!”

Well you didn’t know that. But that doesn’t excuse what he’s doing right now.

“That isn’t any of your damn business anymore, Eddie! Or did you forget the fact that you haven’t spoken to me for years?”

He got quiet after that. You finally looked at him. Really looked at his face and how much he’s changed over the years. You never allowed yourself to really do this before, afraid that it would open up the wounds that took you so long to heal. Suddenly you were a kid again. Waiting on him to say something. You didn’t know how to describe the way he made you feel at the time. But now you do. He was like a drug. After every time you saw him, you wanted more. But then you overdosed.

“Y/n I-

“I don’t want to hear it, Eddie. You were the one who cut things off. You were the one who left me hanging. You don’t get to care about me or stop me from dancing or doing anything with anyone.”

“I just wanted to stop you from doing something you’ll regret. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I don’t understand why you even care, Eddie. We’re not friends, and we haven’t been for years. It’s your fault. You’re the reason why we don’t talk anymore.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

authors note: i know the ending is kind of bad but I just wanted to write something. If you read it all, thank you so much!!! I appreciate you all <3

[archivalofsins]

Addendum (September 23, 2024 5:03pm )- It was brought to my attention by a concerned friend inquiring if something had happened yesterday that this post can come off as complaining about a fandom issue of some sort. Because of how often "Don't be like x" (in particularly Futa) has been used in regards to ongoing Milgram fandom incidents.

It was not my intention to invoke those sort of alarming past experiences for anyone that may have come across this post. My intentions when writing this were to interrogate the prevalence of that phrasing when it came to Futa as a character while including the prisoner paired with him known for bullying as well.

To put it in a plain and jovial way- These are my feelings in regards to this topic in a meme format,

Since I have now been informed of how emotionally disruptive this phrasing can be given the things it's been associated with in the past at least within the tumblr Milgram community I will be putting it under a cut with one more addendum further down that uses the same phrasing.

Once again saying to not be like Mu.

It's easy for individuals to understand why they shouldn't be like Futa. In a lot of ways, not many people would see their actions as being similar to his even when they are. This is why I stress not to be like Mu either.

Because it seems to me that a lot of people are comfortable with being bullies as long as they convince themselves they were the victim first.

A trait that's present throughout both Futa and Mu's narratives. Even if not many people recognize how emotionally manipulative, insidious, and abusive this sort of behavior is socially.

Because just like with these two, some will convince themselves it's the other parties fault for doing something wrong first.

That the person who did something wrong should just,

"You apologize if you do something wrong, you learn that even before words, don't you?"

Q.09 Do you want to apologise to the person you killed?

Mu: I think the person who did something wrong first should apologise first.

These two are simply not as different as some fans like to tell themselves. They are both reactionary bullies. Just because one goes on offense (attacks) and the other defense (cries/deflects) doesn't make one any better than the other. That's why they both got into codependent relationships with another prisoner over the first trial intermission.

Both Amane and Haruka provide them with something. Giving Futa and Mu hope and help in a difficult situation. Along with something to do with themselves to prove their own worth. They also both took on a naturing and protective role in Amane and Haruka's lives. Making the other their main priorities as of the second trial.

23/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday)

Futa: Oi, you. Is he ok? He’s not even left his room lately.

Mu: You mean Haruka-kun? Hmm. Yeah, probably. I’ve been bringing all his meals to him so he should be fine. Isn’t that great of me?

Futa: Hah? Who the hell says that sort of thing about themself. ……ah, no, well, right now I understand a bit. When you’re feeling down, it’s nice to have someone who relies on you and accepts you. The rest of us can’t really understand you from where we’re standing. But well, if you’re Haruka’s “salvation” then I guess it really is great.

Mu: Salvation……? I don’t know what you mean. Futa-kun, you don’t sound like yourself. Did you hit your head or something? Oh, wait, you actually did, didn’t you. Ahaha. Ah, putting that aside though, did you know it’s my birthday today?

Q.02 What do you think of Haruka?

Futa: I can’t afford to be worrying about other people at the moment. Anyway, he’s not a little kid.

This is also why one of my first posts discussed them together. They were both even abandoned by their groups,

"Everyone else was having fun, weren't they? What about them?! Why is it just me?!"

Q.18 Do you regret anything?

Mu: I think maybe I should have chosen my friends a bit more carefully.

Q.11 Who do you want to see right now?

Mu: I miss my friends too. But most of all, Papa and Mama.

Yeah, don't be like either of them, actually.

This is not a healthy thing to strive for. The only difference between them is that Futa takes the orders, and Mu gives them. Aptly portrayed in the relationships they've formed over the course of Milgram.

Also, a bully is a bully regardless of if they cry about it. Women have been weaponizing crying for decades. Stop pretending like this is a brand new undiscovered form of manipulation it's not.

Addendum (September 23, 2024 5:03pm ) continued: Also it was not intent to specifically call to attention Mu's characters flaws or take any digs at people who relate to her. Saying things like don't be like x character can be inconsiderate towards individuals who relate to that character a lot especially if it's something done on a consistent enough basis.

These are once again my feelings on that in meme format.

[gend3rfiedpotat0]

Hi, so I have this thing that I'm writing but I'm like very insecure about my writing and how I write, so I'm gonna give you all a couple of quick snippets of it and I'm wondering if ya'll would want me to post it on Ao3, I formatted like a conversation through the coms ninja have, you know the ear headphone communicator things- ok I'll shut up now

| Com log- Evidence 2 |

Jay: [Loud smash] What the hell?

Lloyd: Huh? What's wrong Jay?

Jay: I don't know [Quick shuffling and footsteps] but I'm going to check now

------------------

Lloyd: Jay? [Loud running footsteps]

Jay: Y-Yeah [Loud panting] Where are you!? [A yelp then a thud]

Lloyd: What's wrong!? did you fall? [Footsteps get faster]

Jay: Fuck, [A groan] Yeah I, [brief silence] I fell, [Heavy breathing and shuffling]

------------------

Hope that it's somewhat decent and if you do want to see it then well tell me! :)

[paradoxcase]

The Unwanted Guest

I wonder why this is formatted as a play. Because Palamedes is forced to play a role while in a space Ianthe has control over? I love that Ianthe has conjured up this whole elaborate setting with multiple servants that are also all Ianthe

I originally thought the seven coffins were for the seven OG Lyctors, or maybe there are seven because Dulcinea is here, but that's my best guess. There's a ton of Significant Numbers in this story, but I don't think Ianthe is associated with seven in any way. And I'm sure the changing orders and which ones were used as set pieces, etc. are all just a red herring, right?

It's in a higher register, which is naturally associated with upper class/rich people, and thus all the connotations you'd normally attach to things having to do with rich people. I don't think there's really anything more to it than that. There are high-register ways of being rude, but I don't think this is actually one of them. If you are immersed to a certain degree in this kind of upper class culture yourself, I think it probably wouldn't sound the way he's describing it here, which might be why Ianthe disagrees with this analysis

See, this is how you be rude in a high register

Ok, I'm not able to work out what the two non-yes/no questions would be here

I respect this story's commitment to portraying necrophilia as the typical variety of naughty sex

I mean, her whole life is lies, pretty much - the lies she engineered about Corona, originally, and now she's also lying about being loyal to John, and possibly about being friends with Gideon, and she wasn't genuine with Augustine either, etc. She just kind of runs on lies

Wondering again how Camilla survived this, and also why there is all this emphasis on sexual reproduction there when I think it's been established that they do everything artificially now?

It's honestly kind of a shit argument on both of their parts. I don't think he actually goes on to show that souls can be diminished, either - I think he proves that souls can be augmented and/or combined, but I don't think he shows that they can be diminished, or that the souls that Lyctor eats degrade over time. I could imagine a possibility where souls can be augmented or combined, but not diminished, or where souls can be diminished, but souls consumed by a Lyctor for some reason aren't. I don't think all of these things are necessarily tied together

Ok, but that actually sounds legitimately hilarious

Is this like an Ace Attorney reference or something

I mean, he wasn't loyal enough to go quietly when Ianthe wanted him to die, if we can take her initial inability to get his soul under control as any indication, although since both he and Corona were there to stop her I'm kind of curious how that went down, now? It's interesting that sewing and mixing drinks were part of his skillset, he already sounds more interesting than Ianthe is claiming, haha

Something tells me this is either a lie, or Ianthe is just wrong

Why is it not "safe" to choose an already qualified person to be the cavalier? Is it just that they won't have total control over them then?

I was going to ask how Palamedes knew that Ortus got blown up, but then I remembered that Gideon told him about this when she went to tell him about Protesilaus's head in Harrow's closet. But now I'm kind of curious what Harrow told Ianthe about Ortus - she obviously told her something, because Ianthe recognized his name when she started using it around her, but maybe she didn't tell her about the shuttle blowing up. Also, Ortus was also chosen to be Harrow's cavalier basically from birth, if we're to understand that he was chosen primarily because his father was Harrow's father's cavalier. So that's actually an example of when that system doesn't work

Yeah, that was pretty funny. But has Dulcinea ever actually met Babs? According to Judith, she was confined to the Seventh because she wasn't well enough to go elsewhere, and none of the other scions had met her in person. Even Palamedes and Camilla never met her in person. And Babs wasn't in Harrow's Canaan House River bubble, either, probably on account of his soul being inside/part of Ianthe at that point. So how does she know what he was like, to be making a joke like this?

This whole sequence where she fences with these attendants which are really all just her is a very playing chess with yourself sort of thing, especially since she just disqualifies most of them. But I guess that's part of sort of being Babs, right? Rigid adherence to dueling rules

I just want to point out that this is after she exchanged friendship bracelets with Gideon. I don't know if she is lying to Palamedes here, or was lying to Gideon, or maybe both? Or maybe she thinks Gideon has had a level-up as Kiriona but is fine with trash-talking original Gideon?

So, that's from Hamlet, and it basically means that if everyone got what they deserved, everyone would be punished, in response to Palamedes saying that Babs doesn't deserve all this monkeying around with his body. But how does Dulcinea know Shakespeare?

So she did die again in Harrow's River bubble, and then something full-of-awe happened, and now she is on the far side of the River. I guess to add to the other unanswered questions from the last post, we now have "what's on the other side of the RIver?" From my perspective, it sounds like the far side is probably heaven, and the River itself may be Gehenna, or maybe Purgatory, from a Christian perspective?

Who is "her" here? Is he referring to what Cytherea said to him at the end of Gideon the Ninth?

This is from the bible - I think a description of an angel, maybe? So again, how does Palamedes know this quote?

Oh please, Ianthe, by the time you became a Lyctor, five other people had died, and Protesilaus had turned out to be dead the whole time

You know that now, but there's no way you knew that at the time. Harrow certainly didn't know that, or else she would have realized that her plan to remove Gideon's soul wouldn't work because she still needed Gideon's sword abilities, and I don't think you are actually smarter than Harrow

Dude, you spent literal months on the Mithraeum training with Augustine to improve your fighting abilities

I think the answer is the latter, but I'm interested to see if that turns out to be true

So even if she'd said "No" he still would have lost. He'd have left voluntarily if she'd said "no I actually have no idea where Babs is". He was gambling on her not even knowing whether she knew or not

I'm not sure why this allowed him to win control of the body. Did Ianthe just have a revelation and check out for a bit? I think it maybe says interesting things about why she was so worried that the same thing that happened to G1deon and Pyrrha would happen to her if she died - maybe she thought that she would somehow become Babs after death because of this conversation she had with Palamedes? After Palamedes and Camilla combined into Paul, Paul told Ianthe that there was still hope for her and Babs - did they mean that Ianthe should completely merge with Babs' soul like they had just done? I don't feel like that would have been an attractive proposition to Ianthe at all. Or were they just sort of acknowledging that Babs was still there?

I think this really raises the question of how Pyrrha and G1deon were so separate, and had different experiences from each other - G1deon didn't know that Pyrrha was even still around, and he didn't remember anything that she did in his body. I can believe that Pyrrha having an affair with Wake probably caused G1deon to have an affair with Wake, but like, I would have expected him to have some idea of inkling of what Pyrrha had been up to and not just thinking that he had inexplicable gaps in his memory for some reason, if this is really how it works

I think it probably is significant that the last unopened coffin is #3

So what is actually going to happen next?

Alecto has returned to the Mithraeum with Harrow. Ianthe and Gideon will probably wind up back there, too, possibly with Corona and/or Judith in tow, since I'm guessing that Ianthe won't return without Corona and Corona won't go without Judith. Maybe Harrow and Gideon will have an actual social interaction again, which hasn't happened for almost 1000 pages of book now. The Sixth House oversight board and possibly Paul are probably going to join the Sixth House and may not be in the next book at all, although I'm not entirely sure that Paul can navigate the River on their own without Nona/Alecto. Presumably Aiglamene remains on the Ninth and likewise is not in the next book, I think the Ninth has exhausted all of its plot potential as a location at the point, maybe? God only knows where Pyrrha, Pash, Aim, and Noodle are going to wind up, I'm still not sure why Aim volunteered to come to the Ninth, exactly. If Pash somehow winds up on the Mithraeum, though, that has the potential to be hilarious

[pepcono]

Accidentally got lost in the sauce while writing a reply and ended up with a shoddy essay. So I've polished it up a bit and packaged it in more proper essay format.

Special thanks to @\Undeaddream for always reminding me that sometimes the people you disagree with most are those you respect most.

Consider the "egg"

Consider the "cis men" who state things like "I really want to be a woman, but I'm not trans"

Consider those who wish they were trans so that they could escape the torture of their body but believe that it's something that happens to other people.

Consider those who are suffering, but are unable to accept the possibility they're trans.

In other words, the egg.

Some would believe that what harm is caused by classifying and naming this person is inexcusable, "it makes people uncomfortable," "it enforces gender norms," they argue.

Their thoughts dwell on those who believe themselves miscategorised, or those insulted by the insinuation that some of their characteristics could be seen as trans.

But do they stop and consider the egg?

Do they consider how people mobilise the position "you shouldn't tell someone they could be trans"?

The anti-egg position, although often coming from well meaning thought process, could very well do more harm than good.

Speaking anecdotally, I saw a yt comment thread where someone said: "Idk wtf is wrong with me. I really relate to this [a song about hating masculine features of ones body and wanting to be a girl] but I'm not a cis woman nor a trans woman, I am 100% sure I am not trans! Idk, am I just a freak or what?" Now maybe you dear reader see that and take them at their word, but I see someone who's in the same position as I was. Wanting desperately to be feminine, to escape my "male" puberty but due to internalised misogyny and transphobia is unable to admit why, unable to accept the solution.

Maybe what they need to hear is "it is ok to be a woman", "its ok to be trans", "you're not a freak for wanting this"

Maybe what they need to hear is "you don't need to suffer"

Some people did point this out in the replies, but each was met with similar statements of "you should insinuate they're a trans woman, that's rude" Maybe you, the reader, agree with that statement, maybe you're even right. But I know how I would've interpreted it. I would have seen it as a statement that I shouldn't consider the possibility, it would further cement the idea that "real trans people just know, because here's all these trans people sneering at that idea I could be trans"

But honestly, I'll be the first to admit "egg" is not the best term for this (But that's a whole other thing). But I instead bring this up to highlight that anti-egg discourse doesn't really stack up to the hype. It kinda reinforces that "just knowing" misconception.

In some people's haste to protect gnc men from the travesty of being compared to trans women (or worse, mistaken for trans women!), they don't stop to consider the egg.

But maybe you dear reader, don't see that, maybe you don't see your own denial and self hatred in "cis men", maybe you don't see someone reflecting internalised transphobia and misogyny that you yourself had to overcome.

And that's ok, not everyone has had the same experiences, some (probably) never even had dysphoria, a lucky few might have even never had to deal with internalised transphobia.

But bloody hell if you can't even acknowledge that not all eggs are even GNC in your post critiquing the term. You might want to reevaluate how complete your understanding is.

(also as an aside, egg can apply to "cis women" but the OP I was replying to didn't acknowledge it and as I repeatedly state, what's key "egg" is relating one's own experiences to them, something I do better with "cis men" eggs than "cis women" eggs)

[donnerpartyofone]

4, 7, 15

Thanks pal!

4. I'm looking forward to a bunch of things I guess, although also everything makes me so nervous that anticipation is never untainted! I'm looking forward to my book coming out, even though it has all sorts of little flaws that I can barely prevent myself from spontaneously defending/confessing. I'm looking forward to a blu-ray commentary I'm gonna record soon (can't announce yet) plus a bunch of writing I got assigned, all really cool things but I know how much work they are and I wonder if I'm going to survive it every time! I'm looking forward to a horror event I have to host in a couple weeks; it's insanity, I'm paying $$$ for travel and lodging to be on a stage for probably ten minutes to just sort of be the face of the event and provide "support", but that's what it means to me apparently. I think that I should try to find some longer term things to look forward to, but that will be a whole project, I've always had a lot of trouble with goal formation. I'm always doing one short-term thing at a time and feeling like I barely got away with it.

7. 2023 was really insane. My mental health was crumbling really badly in tandem with our tiny, ridiculous apartment where we had lived for ten years. There were huge ups and downs with the big TBA project I basically gave my life to, that I may never be able to "A" but hopefully some day someone will tell me if it is officially cancelled so I can at least talk about it a little. I also wrote my book and I got a chance to go to London to record my first blu-ray commentary, which was a huge adventure and it happened amidst a bunch of really complicated dramatic events I don't have the space for; it was like, we moved out of our apartment, and somebody died, and I had to get on a plane to another country immediately, and I still have this feeling like I went through a portal to another dimension and when I landed at home again it was in another universe and that's where I've been ever since. I got to do some major writing projects that kind of felt like, well OK I did THIS, maybe it will be alright if I die now. I got to be on the jury of the local horror film festival and that was really awesome...and I'm starting to realize that this roundup makes it sound like I'm an incredibly ambitious and busy professional person who is fulfilling her dreams, but none of this stuff pays the bills and I am chronically unemployed, and I seem to have a lot of cognitive and intellectual problems, and I'm just terrified that I'm going to have to starve to death eventually. Toward the end of the year I tried to go back into therapy (round 3) and the search itself was really frightening, but when I finally picked someone I had made a really bad choice and the ~3 sessions I had with her fucked up my mind so badly, I wasn't OK for like two months. I still need to figure that out though, there's a lot of stuff wrong with me.

15. Personality description, wow. Maybe it would be fun to do one of those Marvel cards with all my "stats". How do I answer this? My instinct is to list all my pathologies, but then I think I should say what I'm like socially, but then I remember that I'm pretty different from one situation to another. I have incredible anxiety and I'm always tired from a lot of heavy duty masking, but the masking is 1 part survival instinct and 1 part compassion for others I would say. Almost all of my relationships are these intense one-on-one bonds, I don't do well in groups or with people who can't sustain a long conversation about one thing. But even with people I really know and love I have trouble being spontaneous, I have to script all my phone calls just in case I suddenly lose my mind. I think a lot of people perceive me as like really tough and self-possessed and even ambitious, which blows my mind; I've had a number of relationships that fell apart because the person came up with the fantasy that I was this bad bitch and then they were disappointed that I'm actually really vulnerable and nervous and incompetent. I'm not completely sure what that's about, but I think it could be partially a "social cues" problem; like sometimes I don't realize that I'm being inappropriately harsh until it's too late, and other times I'm like daring myself to be more honest and frank because I think that I'm too meek and it's not normal and people don't like that and I should practice having more self-confidence...and then I'm mortified when I find out the hard way that I was being inappropriate. But the one thing I can probably say without reservation is that I have a great sense of humor. It's like my prized possession, an incredible survival tool, and it keeps me entertained even when I have nothing else.

[ellescastleglow]

Study Tips for Humanities Subjects

The majority of studying tips I see are for subjects where there's a lot of rote memorisation, but what about those ones where you just have to research and write? As a history student in university, all of my subjects involve very little learning through memorisation and almost entirely annotated bibliographies and essays. Where I go to university, that's how the majority of courses are run, and I've got the formula down. So, from someone with a HD/GPA of 6.4/7 (American equivalent 3.71 according to this) who has never used AI, here's some study tips for this kind of subject.

1: Reading

The first paragraph of a text and the first sentence of each paragraph should tell you what it's about. You don't have to fully read all of it, just those parts, then if you think you'll use that paragraph you can read it.

While you're reading, write down the key themes next to the citation in your essay document. That way, you'll remember where to find the references for what you're trying to say.

2: Essays

If your university is anything like mine, you usually get to choose from a list of questions to answer or make up your own question. Remember to go for something that will fit the word count (not too broad, not too narrow), and try to make it something that interests you. If you can't make one up, pick the easiest one. Don't be a hero, it just needs to get done.

Make an essay plan. Trust me it makes writing it sooo much easier. Here's an example I made of what the plan would look like for this post:

For your first draft, don't worry about how it sounds. Just get the ideas out of your head and onto the page. You can even do this with your second, third, etc. drafts. If you count the essay plan as the first draft, you can just build on it. As long as you fix it at some point, you can write informally for however much of the process you want. I find it takes way less time because I'm not just staring at the page wondering how to get it right.

Make the point you're trying to make (based off what you learned in the lectures), then find sources for it. That way you'll actually know what you're looking for in a source.

3: Citing

This one's obvious, but put the links to your sources down before you try to make it look presentable. Formatting comes later.

If you've never done an annotated bibliography before, they can be really helpful, even if they're not required. Not only is it an expanded version of the writing down key themes part of the reading section, but it helps pare down your references to only ones that are necessary. It doesn't have to be formal, and shouldn't be part of your submitted page unless required, but it's a good idea to have one for your own use.

Look up the citation guide for your faculty. I can't count how many times I got points deducted because I had errors in my referencing. Use a tool like CitationMachine if you're not sure, but actually check what it puts out because sometimes it's wrong.

4: Professors

Research your classes and find out who's teaching them before signing up to the class. Last semester I had the worst time because an archaeology professor was teaching a digital curation subject and he had no clue what he was doing. Next semester, I'm taking another digital curation subject, but the professor teaches digital curation, so it'll be so much easier. Where I live, RateMyProfessor doesn't exist, but if it does where you are, pay attention to what people have said about them.

Teaching style matters. Is your professor well prepared? Do they seem passionate about what they're teaching? It's easier to find this out early if you're taking online classes. If their teaching style doesn't gel with you, or they just don't like you for whatever reason, it's ok to drop the class. If you have to take it, adjust your expectations accordingly.

If you're making your own essay question, or really doing anything that isn't what they told you to, check with your professor first to make sure it's ok. You don't need to for the tiniest little things, but it lets them know you value their opinion and care about your academics.

If you have the same professor for multiple subjects, or multiple essays in one course, pay attention to the feedback. Some professors really like things done a certain way. Do they want you to be more specific? More analytical? Do they just really hate a particular word or phrase? Learning from your mistakes can help you not lose those points again.

5: Mindset, Organisation, Routine, etc.

Know your why. Honestly, for a good couple of years there I spent every study day wondering if it was even worth it to keep going. But I love history, and I love museums, and I want to be a part of it. Your reason might be a little less self centred, or it might not (because what's wrong with that?). Either way, that drive can get you through a lot.

That being said, if it sucks that bad, you don't have to do it. You can drop the class if you need to, either for your physical health or your wellbeing. Obviously I'm not suggesting you drop out over an essay being difficult, but in my case, dropping that class with the bad professor would've been a good move. I spent too much time and effort trying to do something I hadn't really been taught how to do, and it really wasn't worth my energy. Unless it's required for your degree, don't worry too much about it.

At the beginning of the semester, look at the percentage each assignment is worth. Act accordingly. Don't put in 100% effort for a 20% assignment (unless you're getting really into it), that's a one way ticket to getting burnt out. There's literally no point spending an extra 12 hours perfecting something that's not worth at least 40%. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be done.

Find a study environment that works for you. I like to work with a buddy, whether that's my mum (who's working on her PhD) or an imaginary study group. I need to be somewhere different from where I usually hang out to get focussed (like a cafe or my desk). I need breaks, some people don't. I don't really think there's a single best way to study, as long as you're getting stuff done, it doesn't matter if it's not aesthetic or an approved method. That being said, if making it aesthetic works for you, do that.

---

And that's all I have. I'm sure there are more out there, but I've been in academia for a while now and this is what works for me. I know a lot of people are going back to school, so good luck! You got this!

[wyrdle]

Ikutsuki Backstory ideas and other character thoughts

Jotting this down for my own reference for a hopeful future comic about this pun man as well as for anyone interested in the babygirl lmao. Also I can't believe so little exists to help flesh him out more

Persona 3 spoilers under the cut

Ok so I haven't finished the game, but I've sped run reading wikis and watching movies and clips, pardon me if I get any details wrong. I also don't know the other games, but am semi-aware of some of the links between Ikutsuki and them.

Anyway:

Ikutsuki rambling about The Fall and a Prince out of the blue is painfully one of the worst twists I've ever seen 😂 You don't lore drop your way into justifying your motives lmao. I'd have liked some hints about his past, and then a final explanation for it. Whilst I understand it's meant to be a sudden twist, it just turns out anti-climatic and even annoying narratively haha.

So, to fill out how Ikutsuki's backstory, I was thinking it'd be rad if we saw his actual research days with Kirijo's CEO / Mitsuru's gramps. I'd likely scrap that they were actively looking to invoke The Fall, and have them primarily focused on the time-bending abilities of Shadows, all being scientists dedicated to helping humanity genuinely.

I dislike the idea of such a large group of scientists being omnicidal maniacs/Nyx worshippers, so I think simplifying the Kirijo family's guilt to simply accidentally fucking up their experiments and causing such catastrophic change to the world to be a better go at it.

Enter Ikutsuki, who is a part of this research team like every other hopeful/morally decent scientist. The experiment goes awry, Shadows are released en masse, Professoer Shuji Ikutsuki is swathed, bathed, consumed by this writhing dark mass that tells him about The Fall and whispers about the Prince who will be grandly rewarded for it.

In his canon pre-suicide speech, Ikutsuki talks as if he believes the current world has lots of wrong in it, going to the extremes of wanting to cleanse and rebuild it. I think it'd be fitting for him to start off as this hopeful scientist, cheery and dorky, only for him to go through the trauma of direct exposure to Shadows + being the lone survivor amidst the wreckage and dead bodies of his colleagues.

It's a combo of real-life horror and supernatural Persona weirdness that motivates him into being the manipulator/cold scientist he is. Idk if my timeline of events is right, but post-Tartarus formation, ikutsuki kicks off figuring out plans for The Fall in earnest. Prompting his secret research on children for inducing Personas etc. (I think Strega and Ikutsuki weren't involved with each other, so for this I'd say yeah, he'd be the one responsible for that instead of Kirijo group in general.)

Other fun things for him is that surviving the sort of possession by Nyx's fragments during the formation of Tartarus gives him 'the Potential'. AKA he discovers he can exist in the darkest hour, and is eventually the one who researches himself to enable others to do so as well. It's just more reason for Kirijo group to not suspect him, and even owe him for his work.

I'm likely getting plenty of canon timeline of events off, but I think it'd be really cool for the Chairman himself to be similarly affected by the Kirijo group's experiment alongside the SEES members. Albeit, in a way that fucks him up into becoming the antagonist. Not to say he has no free will/is being actively coerced by Nyx, but that singular moment of interacting with the Shadows changed him and his outlook on life quite drastically.

Lastly, I'm pained that he doesn't really fit into the group. I think there's so much potential there for him to actually be a part of the SEES gang, holding some genuine affection that's a remnant of his pre-Shadow affected self, even going as far as having hesitation/second thoughts. Idk lol, canon Ikutsuki's death is waved off with little impact beyond how he killed Mitsuru's dad, when this guy the SEES team trusts/looks for direction kills himself in front of them. There's no emotional pay-off or pain, his death/twist reveal is just an event that happens lmao. I'd have liked to see Ikutsuki genuinely be an adult figure all the kids needed, and for them to feel the sting of his betrayal on a more personal level than what we got.

Anyway, TLDR, I feel like this helps make Ikutsuki a better villain lol. His fingers are in all the pies already!!! Use him!

So normal about this long haired, bespectacled, goofy middle aged man. He has such dad energy, and I love the angsty narrative of being corrupted lol

pls yell about him to me tq very much

[sanctaignorantia]

Talking about things the trailers don't say, which means talking about the voices inside my head that won't shut up.🥸

It's going to be long, sorry...

When I watched the first trailer I first thought that this scene referred to a beach…

Well, it was all going wrong and the sixth extinction was the last, what if the beaches dried up? Anyway, what if this means by which people crossed over to the plane of the dead literally ceased to exist? Without water there's a big desert and nothing else. So that's what I thought, what we see is a beach, but whose beach? And then we had the coffin and the coffin is Higgs. But it didn't make much sense because Higgs would be trapped on Amelie's beach because of his fight with Sam, we heard the gunshot but we didn't see a body, where the fuck is Higgs Monaghan? Amelie kicked him off her beach, probably… BUT WHERE? If Higgs' beach is a vast expanse of sand, just a beach with no sea, then what the fuck?

Ok but I also thought of something else at the same time, like "why are they walking towards this portal?" - because it's definitely a portal and no one will tell me otherwise. And also an entrance to somewhere. These rock formations are definitely new material.

Do you remember the information we received from the Novelist's Son and the Spiritualist?

This is the part where I believe DS1 already contains a lot of spoilers about what will happen in DS2 VS what Kojima actually rewrote, I don't think he changed the basic constructions of the game but rather modified something here and there, when he says he "rewrote the story of the second game" I don't believe it's literally the whole story, you know?

Returning, the Spiritualist and the Novelist's Son give us information about portals and space/time travel and other forms of travel to the Beach.

I Saw Space in a Gourd (Novelist's Son)

Mr. Sam Bridges, Can I tell you a story about something that happened recently? I was preparing dinner when all of a sudden my beloved gourds popped into my head, and I just had to go take a look. Do you know what I found when I got there? The most marvelous specimen I ever laid eyes on! It was bigger than me, I swear! And while I was standing there, admiring it, I suddenly realized I was somewhere else. Inside of it! And I was a tiny baby! A tiny baby in a great big gourd world! I grew up there, became an adult, and eventually, gourd world had a Death Stranding of its own. So what did I do then? I shared gourds with all the people of gourd world, and they shut the BTs up inside them, and set them all on fire. Gourd world was safe, and I had saved it! But just as I was basking in the glory of it all, I woke to find myself back in the kitchen, and the pot boiling over! While I’d been living a whole other life in gourd world, only a few minutes had passed in this one! Sure, you could call it a daydream, but to me, it couldn’t have been more real. Has anything like that ever happened to you?

Prepper Interview: The Spiritualist

No one has been able to explain the Death Stranding, and I doubt that anyone ever will. Certainly not with science. Science is only suitable for observation. Measurement. "Objectivity." You can observe and measure as much as you like, but it will bring you no closer to an understanding. Sometimes, you need to expand your mind and open your heart. Seek the souls of the dead. Listen for the waves on the Beach... In antiquity, there were no barriers between the realms. People moved freely between the Earth, outer space, and the world of the dead. What are myths and legends if not records of these journeys? My research has only confirmed this. The pyramids of Egypt and Mesoamerica, the Nazcaan lines, Stonehenge—all gateways built by humans in order to access the Beach. Surely you can see that the wisdom of the ancients has never been more relevant?

I would count what the Spiritualist says as basically true because, let's see, it's the Spiritualist and DS is basically about that too. But looking at this arc and imagining a portal after all this information doesn't seem so absurd to me. And then you ask me why I quoted the Novelist's Son's email about the gourd?

Well, a chrysalis and a sarcophagus easily remind me of these gourds too and then we'd be talking about Higgs and Elle Fanning's new character and if both are connected, then portals and enclosures of this kind are no surprise.

We would still have Lou's pod as a form of communication, I don't know how these items work to talk to the dead, because I definitely use other means to talk to them, but they exist in various cultures, right? So we'd basically have 1) a means for time/space travel and the world of the living/dead like the coffin and the chrysalis and also 2) the pod as an item with which it's possible to communicate across planes. Who will know? I'm going to open Kojima's head and feed on his brains to find out.

The Spiritualist also tells us how the Egyptian artifact we gave her made her travel not only to the beach, but also into space, which reinforces her previous document. She also reassures us that the pyramids were portals. So let's assume that there are other ways to access the beach and that perhaps Higgs has discovered them or even knew about them (you handsome son of a bitch).

I would add the observation of rereading the information with the Evo-Devo Biologist because she says some things about tar as well and how it is used not only to search for things from the past but is also a means of creation, and we have exactly that about Chrysalis in trailer 2.

"Please understand, Sam... We never ment to string you along."

My brother in Christ, what's wrong with Fragile? She gives the mask Higgs wore to Sam in DS1 wanting him to tell everyone what happens when you wear a mask and we don't need to explain what that means, the lying, the hiding, the omission, Fragile was betrayed by someone she trusted and the first thing she does in DS2 is accept things from someone who is ANONYMOUS. Darling???

This may be a question of translation and the fact that I'm not fluent in English, but to me it clearly says that Sam has been tricked or Sam is feeling tricked or being tricked by them. What would Fragile and Drawbridge have to hide from Sam? That's not a good idea, not after all. Higgs knows things about Lou that Sam doesn't. Fragile with the Drawbridge calls Sam to help them and says it will help him and then there are more lies behind all this? More manipulation? More masks?

Let's go back two lines:

"If you wanna answers, you're gonna have to find 'em yourself. But.. The ones you do find-- well that pain you nurse… will only get worse. Sam the man, in the dark. About everything." (i can hear troy's voice echoing in my ear, ooooh)

I really hope Higgs is talking about the answers about Lou, because if it involves anything else with Fragile, Drawbridge and what else we'll have new, well… we're fucked. Higgs would come out as something like "I've at least always been honest with you, Sammy boy." *smiles like a crazy*

"Don't forget. Coming on this expedition was meant to help you to find the strenght to carry on. And you have. We all know you've got this. Now it's time to finish the journey, Sam."

I wonder why Kojima cut out these lines, Higgs implying that the answers will be painful and that only Sam can find them, which tells us that perhaps asking for or hoping for help is in vain. Then there's Fragile, confident that Sam at Drawbridge's side is exactly what Sam needs, but since when does Sam accept others telling him what he needs? Even Fragile? And why doesn't Fragile seem the least bit sad about Lou's death when in trailer 1 she basically witnesses the girl die? (I've already said something about Fragile taking care of Lou here.)

"I was there. I saw her home. And it was a hellhole."

If Sam is talking about the Chrysalis Girl, how on earth was this girl living alone in a hellish place? Was she inside the chrysalis when he arrived? Was the chrysalis her protection? Was this hellhole like this because of her? Did anyone ever ask the girl if she was a demon?

I recently read someone talking about how Higgs might be being manipulated, but what if Fragile is too and that's the lie she tells Sam? What if the person controlling Higgs is the same person manipulating Fragile?

[the-bjd-community-confess]

TW: Sexualization of (fictional) minors discussion/CSA mentions

Mod: Batch post 2 to help people avoid the topic if needed.

1. Idc, people who don’t dress and photograph YOSDs like children are creepy af. If you’re dressing your YOSD in lingerie that’s weird as hell and gross.

~Anonymous

2. "child sex sells" what the fuck is wrong with you? shut the fuck up. touch grass. see light. no the hell it does not. can you be fucking normal for five goddamn minutes? god just delete tumblr and get the fuck away from this and all other hobbies you are the worst sort of human being and i hope you get the help you desperately need because you are seeing child abuse in everything and that, i promise you, is a freakass problem to have. why are you like this???

~Anonymous

3. did NOT want to read the vomitous take of "ch*ld s*x sells" on the doll blog today!!!

~Anonymous

4. fandoms full of """child abuse"""

hi mod it's me again, i'm sorry in advance but this fucking topic makes me actually furious and as long as the most sheltered infants on earth continue to submit brain-dead takes on this subject, i'm going to keep showing up in your dms. CW for discussion of actual abuse, hard subjects in general, etc.

(i would put the read more here) [Mod: I hope you don't mind this format instead Anon, this confession deserves its own post but I want to shield readers from the topic if possible with the batchposting 💜]

ok but that's just it, as a fucking csa survivor, most of the "fandoms full of CSA" literally! have none of that! whatsoever! in any capacity! you shitty godforsaken little heathens call sfw romance between two fictional teenagers in a tv show incest-coded, you call grown ass-adults in animated works "child-coded" and justify that as the same as goddamn ABUSE OF REAL LIFE HUMAN BEINGS, and you doxx creators and send them death threats and clog up report lines for real life actual human victims about your fictional bullshit. you are the worst and i want you and anyone who reads this and feels offended by this description to know that you are helping no one and annoying everyone.

do you know what real victims are victimized by? not fiction. not any fiction. not inanimate objects! literally write a story about fictional children being victimized for the plot, and it will not hurt me. if it hurts you, fair! stop reading it. go outside. your Personal Discomfort is not you being abused. learn the fucking difference perhaps! it will not make me... do you have any idea how hard it is to talk about this without getting so extremely goddamn personal? do you have any idea how much it sucks to have to have this discussion over and over and over? do you realize that roughly 10 years ago everyone with a braincell agreed on this point and it's only the last decade that people have been so radicalized to think that wrongthink is real? no, of course not, because most of the people who believe that fiction and reality are 1:1 in how one affects the other have no practical experience with any of the subjects upon which they have the audacity to speak.

listen. i am not going to go into my upbringing. i am not going to tell you what it was like to be raised in a household like mine where actual abuse was genuinely normalized. all i will say is that i was raised in a culture where this sort of abuse was normal and certain types of relationships between adults and minors were considered... sanctioned by the powers that be. are you picking up what i'm laying down? do not talk to me about your good intentions. the fucking argument that fictional content, drawings and toys and all that other inconsequential shit, that it's tantamount to a crime? buddy. bestie! amigo! compadre! that's the same logic that was used to make sure my upbringing was as sheltered and controlled as possible so that the "corrupting influences" of the outside world didn't give us the "wrong ideas". like i truly don't know how you did it but you've reinvented the toxic mindset i grew up hearing! and you are completely blind to it. boggles my fucking brain.

i just want to shake the people who say this shit with a straight face. "wow so violent op maybe you're the toxic one" yeah boy i'm toxic i've been in therapy for most of my life and will continue to be until i am dead. the fucking DRAWING CARTOON PORN IS INDOCTRINATING MINORS WRITING StORIES WHERE BAD THINGS HAPPEN IS THE SAME AS HARMING A REAL HUMAN crowd are just the same religious wrongthink crowd with a more recent birth-year and a rainbow hat. "anyone can say anything online i don't believe you" cool i don't give a shit. how do you want me to prove it, doxxing myself? you wanna see the fucking recordings anon? think before you speak. first time for everything.

i like this hobby. i enjoy my dumb little dolls and their stupid little faces, i enjoy the peace in changing their style and redoing their faceups, i enjoy being able to represent a diversity of appearances, identities, to make everyone queer and slutty because i'm making up for the lost time in my life where that was not on the table for me. i do Not fucking relish seeing the braindead anti arguments creeping into this hobby and shitting up another thing that myself and other survivors would like to enjoy in peace and quiet.

so let me tell you, from the bottom of my heart, even though no one who needs to hear it will bother to listen to the words of a survivor because it goes against your superiority complex against those nasty fiction enjoyers:

shut the fuck up.

sincerely, god, everyone, and especially survivors of CSA and other abuse against minors.

~Anonymous