#and if i don’t guess i have to redo it a thousand times until it’s something similar and we’ve run out of fucking time

[fakeoutbf]

.

[gunilslaugh]

Need Some Help Darling?

Kwak Jiseok Summary: Bad Guy Jiseok always seems to be around whenever you find yourself in trouble. (non-idol au) WC:~1.1k Warning: Reader gets threatened with a knife (but doesn’t get hurt)

part 2 part 3 epilogue!

photo not mine credits to owner.

The first time you met Jiseok he had taken you hostage. Your dad had taken a loan from him and was yet to pay it back, so Jiseok decided to take you until your father paid him back. 

“Jiseok, leave them alone!” Your father frantically tried to get you away from Jiseok. Jiseok tightened his already bruising grip around your middle. 

“I wouldn’t have to do this if you just paid me back.” Jiseok chuckled sinisterly. “I’ll give you three days to give me the money. If you don't, your little precious here gets it.” He caressed your face with the back of his hand making you flinch. He then proceeded to drag you out of your home and throw you into the backseat of a car. 

“You don’t need to look so afraid,” he said, sounding annoyed. 

“You just kidnapped me!” you argued. 

“Blame your father. If he paid me back this wouldn’t have happened,” he argued back. 

“What if he doesn’t get you the money?” you asked worriedly.

“I said it back there didn’t I? You get it,” he leaned forward and lifted your chin with his fingers.

“What is ‘it’ exactly?” you asked, leaning away from him. He lets go of your chin.

“I haven’t decided yet. Do you have a least favorite finger?” He looked down towards your hands. Resulting in you curling your fingers and pulling your hands further up your lap. You can hear him chuckle at your action. 

“I didn’t do anything though. Why should I have to lose a finger?” you pointed out. 

“It’s called collateral damage darling.” He shot you a cheeky smile. 

“Don’t call me that,” you grumbled. 

“Well I never got your name, darling,” he called you the pet name again. 

“Y/n, my name is y/n,” you told him. He hummed. 

“Darling suits you better,” he says. 

“Asshole suits you better,” you muttered. 

“Hey don’t mean now. I’m the one with the power here,” he reminds you. 

“You kidnapped me and said you cut off my finger,” you justified your meanness. 

“I said I haven’t decided yet. If you keep talking like this, maybe I’ll make it your tongue,” he threatened. Your mouth immediately closes as you fall silent. “That’s what I thought,” he tsked. “For your sake let’s just hope your father pays me in time.”

Two of Jiseok’s men held you in place while Jiseok stood off to the side in front of you talking with your father. 

“So do you have the money or are things gonna get ugly for darling over there.” Jiseok gestured towards you.

“Jiseok please just let them go and we can figure something else out. They didn’t do anything,” you dad said. Jiseok sighs walking over to you.

“I guess I overestimated how much you care about them.” Jiseok pulled out a knife. He ran it alongside your face. “Where should we start?” He pretends to think and looks over to where your father stood. “Or maybe we should just get right to it,” he held the knife against your neck making your breathing hitch. 

“Stop! Stop! I have your money. Let them go, don't hurt them,” you dad pleads. He goes and gets an envelope full of the money.

“You should have just handed it over,” Jiseok states, annoyed. “Let them go,” he tells his men while he counts the money to make sure it’s all there. The men release their hold on you. Your dad rushes over to you uttering a thousand apologies. 

“Let’s not have any business together again,” he tells your dad. “Goodbye darling,” he tells you as he exits your house. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stretched your aching muscles after finally finishing your work. Your boss thought that it would be nice to make your department team completely redo a project that was due tomorrow morning. Most of your colleagues had already headed home while you stayed behind to tie up the loose ends. You gathered up your belongings and started to head out of your work building. All you wanted to do was go home and sleep. 

Once you arrived at the nearest bus station you took a seat on the bench and waited for the bus to arrive. 

“Hey pretty, what are you doing out all by yourself?” A group of guys approached you, making you immediately feel uneasy. You decided to ignore, praying that the bus would hurry up and arrive.

“Cat got your tongue?” another one spoke. They took a seat next to you on the bench. You stood up to distance yourself from them. One of them caught your wrist. 

“Oh come on. There’s no need to be scared. We just want to talk,” one said.

“Yeah we don’t mean any harm, how about we go grab a drink or something?” one suggested. 

“I’m not interested,” you said firmly, pulling your wrist away.

“Looks like we got a feisty one,” one notes. You begin to quickly walk away. Trying to get to the nearest building for safety. You can hear them follow behind you. You picked up your pace to walk even faster. 

“You’re gonna miss your bus,” they taunt you. 

You’re ready to start sprinting when, “There you are darling. Didn’t you say we’d meet at the bus stop?” It was Jiseok. He comes and wraps his arm around your shoulder and looks at the group of guys behind you. 

“Do we have a problem here?” He looked at the guys darkly. He moved his shirt out of the way to show the knife he was carrying on his hip. Safe to say the guys bothering you quickly scampered away like a bunch of scared kittens. 

“Thanks,” you said softly. 

“You should be more careful. It’s not safe at night, especially in this area,” he tells you. You nodded. 

“I’ll head home now,” you dismissed yourself. 

“I’ll take you,” he used his arm that was still around you to keep you in your place. “This place is full of bad guys.” 

“Like you,” you joked. Jiseok scoffs. 

“Yes, like me, so let this bad guy take you home before another one makes you end up on the news,” he says. He then guides you to his car. The ride back to your place is silent other than the radio that is playing. 

“Thanks for driving me back,” you thanked him once you arrived at your house. 

“Here,” he hands you a piece of paper. 

“What is this?” you asked. 

“My number. If you work late again and have no one to pick you up, call me,” he tells you. You stare at the paper. You didn���t know what to make of it. 

“Thanks, goodnight.” You folded the paper and opened the door to get out of his car. 

“Goodnight darling,” he called after you.

part 2 part 3 epilogue!

Taglist: @purplelady85 @gingerjunhan @chewednails @ezlynkisses @mon2sunjinsuver @mxlly143

[lostloveletters]

I Left My Heart in San Francisco (John Brady x OC)

Summary: John's heart feels a thousand miles and just as many memories away in Stalag Luft III.

Note: Title comes from the song, of course (you don’t have to listen to it while reading, but I listened to it while writing this). Do not interact if you're under 18, terf or radfem, or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: Fluff and angst, mostly introspective. Somewhat non-linear narrative, I guess.

“I won’t get any good if I don’t practice,” John insisted. 

Woody smiled, her green eyes sparkling. “Alright, but you watch that pipe of yours. If I smell burning hair—“

He grinned, taking his pipe out of his mouth. “You won’t, sweetheart, I promise.”

Woody braided her hair first thing in the morning, after hastily raking her fingers through it, tugging out any knots that formed overnight. By the heat of the afternoon, enough hair would come loose and stick to her sweaty skin that she’d have to redo her handiwork, already knowing to anticipate the black streaks of grease she’d have to scrub out of it at the end of each day.

Sometimes Holly would be around to give her an intricate and sturdy French braid, able to withstand sweat and hard work. But John had never braided hair before he asked to do hers one evening, and then with increasing frequency as time went on, desperately needing something to lose himself in. 

She sat between his legs, still and patient as he ran his fingers through her wavy hair. He parted it in two sections, letting the waterfall of blonde flow down one of her shoulders while he gathered the rest of her hair, silken to the touch compared to the standard blankets and bedsheets they were issued.

A shiver ran down her spine when his fingers gently brushed the nape of her neck.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“You’re fine, honey.” Her voice was soft, almost a low purr that echoed in his ears. He couldn’t remember another time when she called him honey. Usually just Johnny, which sounded wrong coming from other people, even jokingly, since it became hers, but he wasn’t sure how to tell her he liked honey too. 

He carefully layered one thick strand of hair over the other until he finished a braid on one side. Looked good, but he knew at a glance he could do better. Woody braided her hair for utility, not just to look pretty, which was a bonus in his opinion, but not her priority.

He puffed on his pipe, shaking his head before setting it aside. “They’re not even. I’m gonna try again.”

“Go ahead, Johnny.”

John stroked her hair, thinking about how he wished they had met under different—better circumstances, where she wasn’t under constant threat of losing him. He used to figure that there was a proper way to get to a woman’s heart, the way god intended, or so he’d been told: meet a nice young lady, ask her father for permission to take her out on a date, get to know each other, bring her home on time. Rinse and repeat while trying not to get too handsy before getting a ring involved.

Then the war happened. 

Then Woody happened, who probably wouldn’t have described herself as a nice young lady in the first place. No father to ask permission to take her out on a date. He wasn’t quite sure they actually saved anything for marriage (besides the having kids part, thankfully). He figured god would be flexible, all things considered.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“There’s a knot,” he mumbled, brows furrowed in concentration as he carefully pulled at strands of hair to free them from each other.

“When I was a kid, if I had a really bad knot I couldn’t get out myself, I’d just cut it with some kitchen scissors. My hair probably looked awful.”

He almost instinctively asked why she didn’t ask her mom to brush it out, but felt the slightest bit of rage burn in his chest when he caught himself and remembered. “I care enough about you to do this right.”

“You’re also pretty good with your hands.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“I know so,” she said, “and thank you for always being attentive.”

“Are we still talking about your hair?” 

“Oh, of course.”

He snickered, working on braiding her hair again. “Of course.” 

Neither of them spoke of the future very much, but he knew he wanted one with her. Just wasn’t sure how to go about the discussion without scaring her off, if she’d even be open to settling down. Settling. The word weighed heavy in his mind. While Woody claimed no nostalgia for her native city, a sad fondness laced her voice when she spoke of it, of the excitement and freedom San Francisco had offered her when she needed those things most. Sometimes John wondered if Ithaca would be enough, if he would be enough when all was said and done.

He swallowed roughly. “Take a look and tell me what you think. Be as brutally honest as you need to be. I can take it.”

Woody half-turned to him, an amused smile spreading across her face. Made him feel like he was being let in on a secret the way her smile sometimes did. “You could make my hair look like a bird’s nest and I wouldn’t tell you.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek before getting up. He followed, almost nervous as she inspected her appearance in the small mirror sitting nearby. She beamed at her reflection, turning excitedly to him. “Johnny, it’s perfect.”

She stood on her toes to kiss him, deep and real, the kind that made any lingering doubts dissolve. Her lips were soft, as if she put on lip balm before he got there. Everything about her was soft, except for her hands, always rough and calloused, but something would be wrong if he felt a smooth palm cradling his jaw, or gliding across the expanse of his shoulders, down his back to cling to him. But he was clothed. Or he thought he was. Lost himself for a moment before he found the sound of her voice again.

“Before I forget—” She slipped her hand into one of her pockets. “Here, I want you to have this. I don’t really have any other photos of me, but I wrote a little note on the back of it for you,” she said. Her cheeks flushed, eyes flicking away from him for a moment. “Just so, um, you know it’s yours.”

He smiled at being handed the photo, a little shadowy and out of focus, but her nevertheless. To Johnny, all my love and more, your sweetheart, Woody. She had drawn a little heart next to his name, Xs and Os after hers. “You look beautiful. Thank you, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead, the tip of his nose brushing against her skin. “I’ll keep it with me.”

And he did. All the way to Stalag Luft III. Looked at the photo and tried to remember the feeling of her hair between his fingers.

He nearly tore Hambone a new one for taking the photo from his hands without asking, not that he would have let him touch it in the first place even if he had. While far from salacious, having other eyes besides his own on Woody’s photo felt almost sacrilegious. After all, he kept it in the same pocket as the St. Christopher card his mother had given him before he left for basic, its laminated corners curled from his incessant toying with it for reassurance. He hardly looked at it since they bailed. Patron saint of travelers. Some good St. Chris did him.

Buck stepped in and got John his photo back before the situation could escalate further. But the cat was out of the bag. As if it even mattered then, anyway. He did take some pride in everyone’s shock at him and Woody managing to keep their relationship under wraps for nearly four months.

He didn’t expect it to come up again, but he wasn’t exactly expecting Bucky to be alive either. In the midst of Bucky's bittersweet reunion with the other members of the 100th who’d been taken prisoner by the Germans, it was mentioned among the updates everyone was clamoring to give him after he relayed what he could muster of how he survived and ended up there.

Hardly relevant, but Bucky fixated on it after John let one small detail slip out.

“You and Woody? How the hell did I not know this?” Bucky asked. 

“No one knew, except for Holly,” he said.

“Holly knew?”

“It wasn’t my idea, but Woody tells her everything. Told her about us the night you two made the bet on that baseball game.”

“That was back in June!" Bucky exclaimed, a strange combination of disbelief and slight betrayal that felt almost out of place compared to everything else going on. "She’s known for four months and didn't tell me?”

“Woody swore her to secrecy or something.”

Bucky shook his head. “You sly dog. Under everyone’s noses…” Clapped him proudly on the shoulder. “Good on you, buddy.”

John smiled. “Thanks, Bucky.”

“Don’t expect any details,” Murph mumbled.

“I’m not telling any of you about my sex life.”

“But there was one?” Bucky asked.

He sighed, resisting the urge to glare at his friend, who up until a few hours prior, he wasn’t even sure was still alive. “We didn’t sneak around for four months just to hold hands.” 

Even if that was all they’d done, his relationship with Woody wouldn’t have been any less important to him. Still, it was nice to have actual experiences to pull from, build fantasies that could get him through some of the lonelier nights when he wished he were with her, just about anywhere in the world but Stalag Luft III. The four months that were all theirs became his lifeline.

Four months. Maybe that was long enough for him to ask her to marry him. After writing to his family, that’d be his first order of business. Woody already had his heart, so he’d promise her everything else on top of that he could think of. Let her point anywhere on a map and take her there on a month-long honeymoon. Move all the way out to San Francisco with her. If she said ‘no’ or sent the letter back unopened, at least he could say he tried.

He laid back on his bunk that night, doing his best to ignore the shouting outside. Like the night guards did it on purpose to keep them exhausted. Closed his eyes. Kept her photo pressed against his chest. Tried to remember what her hair felt like between his fingers. Silk compared to the threadbare blankets the Germans gave them for the rapidly approaching winter.

“I won’t get any good if I don’t practice,” he insisted.

She smiled, her green eyes sparkling. “Alright, but you watch that pipe of yours. If I smell burning hair—“

He grinned, taking his pipe out of his mouth. “You won’t, sweetheart, I promise.”

[mirisss]

Secret Sweethearts

Na Kamden x model female! reader

Thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy it! 

Wordcount ≈ 874

Warnings: None I think,

Third Person POV

Na Kamden and (Y/n) met at their agency, FNC, an agency known to have both talented idols, actors, and models. Na Kamden, the talented rapper and dancer of Ampers&one, and (Y/n), the rising model star of the fashion world. The two ran into each other at the agency’s cafeteria, Kamden turned around quickly and without knowing there was someone behind him, he accidentally knocked into the person behind him, that someone just happened to be, (Y/n). 

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you okay?” Kamden asked, an embarrassed look on his face, the girl in front of him was very attractive, he thought he was dreaming because she had to be an angel. “Yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry, I guess it’s my fault too for walking so close to someone,” (Y/n) chuckled, her smile set off a thousand butterflies in Kamden, he wanted to get to know her better. “I’m Na Kamden, of Ampers&One, by the way,” He reached his hand out so that the two could shake hands. “I’m (Y/n), I’m a model,” She took his hand and they gently shook it up and down. 

“It was nice meeting you, Kamden, unfortunately, I have to leave now, but I hope I’ll see you again,” (Y/n) smiled and waved at him before she hurried away to her manager, ready for her next photoshoot. 

After that accident, the two kept meeting up at the agency, eventually they exchanged phone numbers, and became closer than ever. Soon enough, the two were dating. In the beginning, it was easy to hide their relationship as they rarely ever had schedules at the same places. It wasn’t until FNC was doing a special end-of-year video shoot with some of their newest talents, including (Y/n), Kamden, and some other people from the agency. 

Behind the scenes it was easy, just talking like friends, or more, no one would know. “Hey, darling, how have you been? Haven’t seen you in a while,” (Y/n) gave Kamden a quick hug before someone could point a camera in their direction. “Hi, I’m good, a little tired, I just came back from Milano, so pretty jetlagged, how are you?” If anyone would pay attention then they could easily see just how in love these two are as their eyes sparkle while looking at one another, how they naturally draw one another closer, the way they lean in when the other speaks. “I’m good now that you’re here,” 

A staff member called Kamden’s name, meaning the two had to separate now, before he had to leave, Kamden quickly said “I’ll come over to your place tonight,” To which, (Y/n) only nodded. A few hours later it was time for the ending shoot off the video, all the people who had participated stood lined up beside each other, (Y/n) and Kamden, had ended up beside one another, luckily they stood in the second line of people, so no one could see that they were holding hands, a secret for only the couple to know. 

“This has been FNC wishing you all a merry Christmas and a happy New Year,” (Y/n) said her line, at as she finished it, Kamden gently squeezed her hand, and then he continued with his line. “We hope you all have enjoyed all the content from this year and that you are looking forward to next year's content and events!” (Y/n) moved before she could think about the consequences and she turned to look at her secret boyfriend, sparkling eyes, and lovesick smile, but she quickly turned back to face the camera, almost hoping for the director to call ‘cut’ and they would have to redo it because of her mistake. But the ‘cut’ never came, the staff was too focused on the two actors acting out their parts of the video. (Y/n) would have to hope that her action wasn’t caught on camera. But a small part of her, and Kamden, wished people knew so they wouldn’t have to love each other in secret. 

Later that night, after the shoot was over, and everyone had returned home, there was a gentle knock on (Y/n)’s door, one she recognized very well. She opened the door to find her boyfriend standing there, takeout in his hands as well as a small bouquet of her favorite flowers. “Happy anniversary, my love,” He said the second she opened the door. “Happy anniversary, Kammie,” He stepped inside the apartment, the door closing behind him, (Y/n) took the flowers from his hand, smelling them, and then she reached up, kissing him on the cheek. “Thank you for the flowers,” Kamden blushed, walking over to the living room, and putting down the takeout on the table, before he turned back to (Y/n), still stunned by her beauty, just like the first day they met, he walked over, leaning down a little, and placed a loving kiss on her lips. “Thank you, for loving me, even if we have to do it in secret,” 

And so the couple spent their first anniversary, in secret, just as happily as anyone else.

[tryingmydarndest]

Thank You (Luka Couffaine x Reader)

Summary (Part 1/probably 3): The author goes on a bit of a tangent about how Y/N goes on a bit of a tangent about Viperion. Who may just have a little, big ol' crush on them?

Tags: -not enough actual relationship -fluff -but like, a weird sprinkling of angst that I didn't plan on right at the end???

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: Inspired by this fic by @seriously-sirius-black <3. Luka? OOC? Idk, probably, I don’t write fanfic. But I am actually kinda proud of how well Alya turned out. Writing this made me realize how much of a mom friend I apparently headcanon her as. I wrote this gender-and-as-everything-else-neutral as I can make it (lemme know if you see ways I can improve, tho idk how much more fanfic I'll even be writing). Also, I freakin' RAMBLE and overuse italics, but ya get what ya get and ya don't gotta fret. Ooh, important note for future parts (if i write them) - this is a kinda!au where the miraculous users keep their miraculous. also if I had a nickel for every time I get awkwardly specific about the placement of both of a character’s hands I’d have TWO nickels. Happy reading!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Part I - Paris's Cutiest Heroes

The look currently on Marinette’s face as she sputtered out a response was priceless, “Cat Noir? Cat Noir!? What makes you think I’d find Cat Noir attractive at all? And- and- HIM- the cutest superhero! Ridiculous!”

“Utterly ridiculous?”

“Nice one, Alya”

“Thank you so much, Y/N,” you gave Alya a high five on your way to your seat next to Juleka and Rose on the couch facing Marinette and Alya. A sunny Friday after school was the perfect place for Kitty Section and their entourage to hang out. Unfortunately without Ivan and Mylène, seeing as their anniversary called for a private celebration. After pushing a couple couches onto the deck of The Liberty, Alya had predictably started talking about Paris's resident hero team. Today, she chose to ask everyone who they deemed the cutest, and she made sure to jump on Marinette's... interesting response, “And girl, he has the same silky golden hair and dreamy emerald eyes as Adrien Agreste. What’s utterly ridiculous is you freaking out and dodging every time we bring up superheroes!”

The designated snack-boy, Luka, walked out precariously carrying three bowls of goodies for everyone, “Alright, I got more popcorn. Sorry, but looks like we’re out of cheese flavoring, Y/N”

“Oh... that’s fine. I honestly wasn’t expecting it since I forgot to ask,” your free hand not reaching for the bowl rubbed the back of your neck, “but thanks for remembering.”

“Oh, um yeah- Always," is it creepy to remember something so specific? Someone as nice as Y/N wouldn't be interested in some creep. Ugh. Luka took a seat with his own bowl after passing Alya and Marinette theirs. He ended up next to you on the floor, leaning against the arm of the couch, dangerously close to touching your legs.

Rose reached for the popcorn as she interjected, “You know, Alya does have a point. So Marinette, why don’t you just tell us who you think the cutest superhero is, if you don’t like us guessing?”

Somehow Marinette’s face went even paler as she spoke, “What- I mean, I don’t- I haven’t thought- Wha- what about Y/N? Why aren’t you interrogating them?”

Alya crossed her arms, “Because Y/N says the same thing about the same hero every day. Just watch. Ahem, Y/N, care to weigh in on the cuteness level of our lovely Parisian superheroes?”

You looked up from the bowl you had stolen back from Rose with wide eyes, "Hey! Okay, no, that is not fair! Besides, what is our criteria for 'cute'? I mean... Are we going just by physical characteristics? Is costume a factor? What about the animal they're representing, could our opinion of that make this whole thing unfair? And cuteness is so subjective anyway... Why are we even reducing these amazing and honorable superheroes to just their looks? I mean we could be talking about skill, or their powers or power lev-"

"-And your answer would be exactly the same. Seriously, are you done trying- and might I add, failing- to talk yourself out of this one yet? Or should I just read the article you wrote for the Ladyblog?"

"You said you deleted that!"

Luka had perked his head up at your initial fumbling response and turned to you when he spoke, "You wrote an article? That's pretty cool."

You rubbed your face to try and distract yourself from the burning embarrassment, "Umm, yeah. But it was terrible and extremely not. worth. publishing." You hoped the glare you sent the girl in question was enough to scare her into deleting it on the spot, or to at least lie about it, "So Alya kindly deleted it, right?"

Sitting up with a smug look and crossed arms severely lowered your faith that she'd keep quiet. "A good journalist archives everything. Especially something as juicy as one of her besties going on for five thousand words about how dreamy the great Viperion is," dramatically fake-fainting into Marinette's lap, Alya could barely finish before bursting out in laughter. Of course, quickly followed by the others joining in to varying degrees. Juleka and Rose happily giggled to themselves, Marinette looked more relieved that the heat was off her, and Luka seemed to be shocked, or maybe just holding back to see how you were taking this.

Horribly. Horribly embarrassed would describe how you were taking this conversation. You sat there stock-still as you hoped that none of the others could hear your heart's desperate attempts to pound its way out of your chest. That's certainly all you could hear, at least until Alya's voice brought you out of it, "Hey, it's fine," she made her way over to sit next to you as she continued, "We all have our little hero crushes. That's why I bring it up all the time, to show you that it's totally normal! I mean, we all know how I could go on about Carapace for days," Alya gestured for the others to continue, and used her other hand to try and comfort you.

"Well, I find Ladybug to be just absolutely adorable and so kind.... oh it just makes me so happy knowing she's keeping all of Paris safe," Rose added softly.

Juleka brushed a strand of hair aside as she spoke, "Rena Rouge is super mysterious, pretty rad in my opinion."

Alya was rubbing your back like the mom friend she is to try and help encourage you, "See? Super normal, so go ahead and release all this pent up Viperion energy that I know you have. Maybe it'll encourage Marinette here to finally join in the fun!" Alya stuck her tongue out at her best friend, who responded promptly by smashing her face into a pillow.

You just sighed, "I mean- it’s- it can't just-'' were you supposed to just get over it all just like that? Well, at least the embarrassment was wearing off, maybe you could just entertain her for a bit, "Well- um, you see.... HisHairJustLooksReallySoftAnd- you know what. Nope. Can't do anymore of this. Yep- that's all you're getting out of me!" This time when everyone started giggling, you were able to comfortably join them. It was a nice feeling.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A nice evening chilling out with your friends was always welcome, especially with the rising number of akumatizations making that less possible. But the night had come to a close. Alya and Marinette went home, Juleka was walking Rose back herself, and Luka and you had volunteered to clean up. Luka stopped drying the cup in his hand for a minute as he looked at you, “Um, I know it might not be my place, but I want you to know that you don’t have to be embarrassed about the whole... Viperion thing.” God, how am I supposed to take the news that MY crush has a crush on.... Sort of me? Am I supposed to count it as me at all?

“Oh, um. Yeah, thanks. I think I’m over the embarrassment now that it’s out. I don’t know, it’s just that a lot of people think it’s weird since he’s kind of a new hero,” how are you supposed to explain this to him? That you kept such a non-issue secret from him, especially without getting suspiciously defensive about it. “And then people use that to try and say that I only like him for his looks..... And that’s not it! I don’t know, it’s kind of.... A lot? To explain, that is.” This was not going well.

“Oh... Well, what is it? That you like about him, I guess.”

This was so not going well. But he was waiting for a response so... “Uh, well I guess it did kinda start..... that way.... but then I started doing research. I learned about his power and saw videos of his fights. He’s really good! Especially for being so new, which kinda goes into why his power makes me like him so much.” Shit. Rambling, I’m just talking and talking and I need to stop. But how am I supposed to change the subject now? And now Luka’s sitting down, and he seems so invested. Why does this have to happen to me?

“What do you mean by that?”

Luka’s voice kindly shuts your little thought-spiral in its tracks. What were you saying? Oh, Viperion’s powers! You can talk about this, you know this. Just keep talking, at least he seems interested in it, “Well, you know how he can go back and redo the last couple of minutes?” Luka nodded, “Well, we always see the time that worked out. Us civilians get to keep going from the one time it all went right. Just imagine all the times he failed, all the times he couldn’t get it right. It could be dozens, maybe even hundreds of times! He must get so discouraged at some point, I mean I know I would.... I guess I didn’t really think about it at first, but.... but, I doubt I could keep that determination, and I’m so glad Paris has a hero who can, and does.”

Silence. Why was it so quiet? Oh no, he thinks I’m weird. He must think-

“All of this from ‘his hair looks soft’?”

“Hey! You can’t tell me not to be embarrassed, then make fun of me! That’s against the rules!”

Luka chuckled as he said, “Against what rules, exactly?”

“The Rules Of Best Friendship, duh!”

“And who exactly said you were my best friend?”

“Well... your loss, I guess. Now you won’t get an invitation when I plan Rose and Juleka’s wedding,” you brushed off his offended glare as you took the seat next to him.

“She’s my sister.”

“She’d take my side.”

I’d take your side, too. I will always take your side. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

A/N the sequel: I am super bad at finishing things, but I really wanna keep motivated to finish this (like I have a full, probably 3 part, plan for this). If you guys want to help, shoot me a message and I'll send you a link to the google doc I'm writing this on. Feel free to leave a little comment (pls be kind, obviously) and see my writing process! Idk, would any of you guys be interested in that? Would you just get annoyed at having already read the thing before I post it?

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

So due to popular demand I watched episode 2 of Walker for you guys. Part 1 of 2

So here’s my review of episode 2 of Walker. Is this going to be the episode where Walker lassoes a person? We’ll see.

The episode is titled “Back in the saddle” and I am already wishing I was eating my cookies. But the batter needs to rest in the fridge first, blah blah.

Night sky. Horses in their stables in the darkness. Security cameras switching off…? Fire! Someone set fire to the stable. Someone hurries to get the horses out. It’s clever, I’m actually invested in making sure the horses are okay. Maybe they’re luckier than Mary Winchester. Wait, wrong show.

The last one is trapped! A brave guy tries to free him but a wooden beam falls down and kills him. Oh no. Did someone at least save the horse?

The ridiculous title card plays, and then our favorite former Supernatural lead currently starring in a new show appears. He loads what looks like a toolbox in the back of his truck. There’s a horse saddle already on the truck. Soft music and the yellow sunlight shining behind him announce this is an emotional scene. The saddle has a leather bag on the side, with the initials of Walker and his wife engraved on it.

Ta-da! Flashback of Walker and his wife. Thankfully she is not elvish vision glowing this time, although the blurry effect of the flashbacks still make me think of a Lord of the Rings ripoff.

The saddle was a gift from her! Walker makes this face so we know he loves it.

Look at how ridiculous this is.

They’re trying sooo hard to appeal to bibro Supernatural fans. They’re BEGGING for the attention of bibro Supernatural fans. I’m not sure if redoing SamandDean iconic moments but with Walker and his dead wife (played by who I assume some hardcore bibros believe is Jared’s beard) is the best way of doing it? I mean, I wouldn’t take that direction. But okay. We take our Meaningful Moments from Supernatural because our viewers are not invested in these characters but are invested in those ones, so at least we’re provoking emotions by making them think of those ones. It is a strategy, I guess.

Fuck, I spoke too soon! The glowiness is not too strong - it is daytime in this flashback and not nighttime like in the pilot - but it’s there.

Back to the present, Walker is on the phone with his mother, explaining he’s back at his place to fix a leak or something. If the kids have been living with their grandparents and Walker has been away for almost a year, how is the patio so clean and pristine? But wait, someone’s been there. There are empty beer bottles. And then the funniest frame of the show so far.

Stella is a teenager. In 2021. Which teenager in 2021 texts like someone who had to spend 20 cents for text and press the button four times to get an s? Her father should be the one texting like it’s 1999. Stella would be the one texting like phones have automatic capitalization and predictive text and shit...

There is absolutely no fucking way the place can be so clean and pristine if no one’s lived there bar some teenagers who drank beer in the patio. But okay.

Oh no. Another glowy flashback. Holy shit. Why. We get it. He misses his wife. They had the perfect little life together. The music they use in the flashback is starting to give me a pavlovian response.

Even Jared is unhappy. Look at his unhappy face.

In the meanwhile, Ramirez and her boyfriend are having fun when her boss calls her. She dresses up to go to the fire stable place, in the meanwhile they have a conversation about their relationship. She has never really had a longterm serious relationship, and she’s confused because, I quote, “I am one of the first women ever, one of the first women of color, ever” [that’s it sentence finished]. I can’t believe Ramirez has been around for thousands of thousands of years.

She needs to focus on her job and he’s a distraction because he has a six pack. No, that’s literally the scene. He takes off his shirt and we see his six pack. Now, he’s a pretty impressive physique, that’s not a problem. Why isn’t he the main character of a show about doctors?

Meanwhile, Walker joins the family for breakfast. The brother, Liam, is great at making smoothies. What an interesting all-rounded gay character.

Walker’s mom says they should stay living with them because it means stability for the kids. Walker says they should move back to their house because normal whatever. Stella says, does it even matter to you where we want to live?, and leaves. August reveals she goes back to the house sometimes, meaning the beer was hers and she lied. Draa~ama. Stella is the only interesting character in this family.

Jared makes another discontented Jared thing at the end of the scene, I can’t gif them all, and we get to the crime scene. “Fire’s no way to go” Walker comments, because they watched the Supernatural pilot before writing the show.

Oh no, the horse didn’t make it either :(

So, the stableman who died had just come out of prison. Oh no. Is this another plot about convicted criminals doing shady things after they get out of prison? It must be, otherwise this detail wouldn’t be relevant since the guy just died. Oh no.

Ooooh James, the new boss, is making some changes which include following the rules to a t. Meaning Walker has been demoted until he passes all the tests again. I need to show you the face, sorry

This is it, this is Jared’s acting in this show.

Walker tries to argue with Captain James, but he says he wants to be “on the right side of history for a change”, so he cannot have him run around doing whatever he wants. James isn’t happy that he went to look at the footage of Emily’s murder again. He tells him again that the case is closed because a guy confessed, and he needs to focus on his family and job now. We’ve heard this so many times I’m so bored. But guys Jared’s acting gives us gems

Ramirez starts talking about the test, but he’s off, she asks him if he’s good and he says I’m fine. I’m Fine Lie #3! I think, I’m not really counting.

Something about the case. Whatever.

Stella is training for the big upcoming soccer match. Why can’t this be a sports show about teenage girls playing soccer? I can even give them a pass about calling it soccer.

Stella and her friend Isabel chat and Isabel says “ICE is sniffing around”, which I’m sure is not what ICE does.

I take it back. I don’t want a show about teenage girl soccer. Now there’s drama because Stella and Bel shouldn’t be playing in the big game because of their arrest, but apparently Stella is good and the couch will let her play, but not Bel, so she refuses to play. Unsure if this is about racism or Bel simply isn’t a great player. They should have made it clearer…

Meanwhile Augustus chats with a schoolmate called Ruby. Yeah. It had been too many minutes without an easter egg.

Walker and Ramirez take the tests. First shooting range. Then driving. He’s very good at these things. I’m bored. I don’t care about cops showing off their cop skills. I’d rather watch Ruby and Sam, er I mean, Augustus talk about high school projects, and I don’t care about high school projects.

I made the cookies in the meanwhile :)

[echonidae]

let’s talk commission stuff!

hey folks !!  so i’ve been reorganizing myself to get commissions back on track, and i’ve got some things i’d like to get your input on, if it isn't too much trouble !! ;v;

it’s a long one, so under the cut it goes sdfghghj

a slightly too long tl;dr because apparently this is a 10min read (i'm so sorry): commission revamp on the works! no date for it yet. gonna be easing myself back with just icons for a while at first (no date for that either thoug, not yet), then the revamp will be in full swing with all the other commission options, and the pricetable for them will be changed in the future as well. 

some questions: 

1) i’m rethinking commission types, is there anything you’d like to see as a new option?  2) considering i tend to open only a handful slots every batch, i'm thinking about implementing a waitlist (with a bit of a twist: it's split between Current Batch and Next Batch; a little more complicated than a regular ol' waitlist, allows me to get through some of the waitlist queue as work gets done). would that interest you or is it too much of a headache? 100% open to suggestions! 3) i’m organizing a board on trello for commission stuffs !! any suggestions or specific things you’d like to see there?

so! it’s already been over a year since i last opened commissions and i’d very much like to get back to them ;o; it’s been way too long! i miss working with you folks aaa

i don’t have a reopening date yet, but i’m planning on opening only icons for a while to ease back into the process. later on, i'll open the other commission options too. you see, i’m working on a full revamp of the whole thing, including the terms of service and that info image with the examples (because looking back, i think it no longer really represents my current style and how i really do commissions in terms of just... plain old rendering and polishing), so i’ll be working on new drawings and a new layout too, and all that good jazz :D

for full disclosure, along with this overhaul of the terms and such, i will be updating prices too c: i’m still working on the new values though, since i need to figure out what commission types/options the overhaul will have. which brings me to the first question here: what would you like to see as a commission option? for reference, here’s the og options:

(hoo i need to redo those examples *sweats*)

also, one more thing i’d like to note about this revamp situation: there isn’t a whole lot that’s changing really haha it’s just been a long, long time since i last did commissions, so i’m reviewing terms and i might change stuff that’s become outdated, or that needs clarification. if you’ve commissioned me before, the process itself is still the same so no worries! once the revamp is out, i’ll point out anything that has changed too c:

in regards to price changes, those first icon-only batches will be in their original price, and the new prices will only take effect once the revamp with the other options is out. it will be quite a while before until that, but if you have any concerns, feel free to message me any time ! either way, i’ll keep you folks posted !! i guess i also could post the new prices before implementing them, if that helps!

so, moving on! now to the waitlist situation <:3c as in, i’ve never had one, a while back someone asked if i did, and now that i’m reorganizing things, i’m wondering if it would be good to implement one :3c feel free to send any questions !! or suggestions!! i'm all ears!!!

usually i only open a handful of slots for each batch, right, and once they're all claimed, the commissions are closed until all the slots are finished. folks who missed the slots have to wait until the next batch, and sometimes those batches take a while to come back, and i usually just message those who missed the opening once the new batch is announced.

what i'm thinking for the waitlist is, i'll open it along with the batch of commissions, and limit it to a specific number of spots or close it by a specific date, whichever comes first. to apply for it, people would just need to send the form and i can tell them immediately whether or not i can draw their request, and then they'll be placed on the waitlist in the order they’ve been accepted c: pretty standard stuff.

here’s the important bit: that list is basically split in two. the first handful of people on the list, corresponding to the amount of slots for the current batch, will be reached out to as i finish working on the claimed slots, and then anyone else on the waitlist will be contacted shortly before the next batch. if, by the time the list closes, not all the opened slots have been claimed, folks on the list will simply be moved up the queue accordingly c: all of it would be discussed individually, of course, and very well disclosed in the commission info!

there are other points to it as well: anyone would be able to request a spot on the next batch's waitlist instead of the current one, and anyone can leave either list at any point. folks who had already claimed a slot when it first opened would only be able to apply for the next batch's waitlist (to give everyone a chance of getting one), and people on the list, either for the current or the next round of commissions, can be skipped up to a limit if they're unable to continue the order once i get to them.

oh and, before i forget, with the waitlist in place, i think i’d no longer be able to put slots on hold as i used to (as in, before paying the first invoice), as it’d be unfair to folks on the list. in that case, the person would be placed on the list as well if they want to, and contacted as soon as possible : )

also the "up to 2 slots per person" thing would be on thin ice too haha

anyway, this is kind of what i intended to do back then, with reopening slots as work gets finished, but never got around to. i want to make sure i don’t swamp myself with work, but also have it so that folks who want slots have a good chance of getting them, whether for the current batch or the next, as there's only so many slots i can open and work on at once, and time zones and irl things are to be considered too for anyone interested c:

it also makes it easier for me to keep track of messaging folks about new slots and such, and the list would be made public and easily available for consulting too : D more on this later!

so how's this looking? i've never done waitlists before and barely knew how they're supposed to work before starting to reorganize things, so please do feel free to voice your thoughts !! i’m 100% open to suggestions !!! do you think this system would work out for you? any concerns? if anything is unclear feel free to point it out, i'll do my best to explain the process or change stuff that doesn't quite work!!

so!!! now to the very last thing i wanted to talk about ! trello! 

i’m making a little trello board for updates on commission stuff! my commission info page here on tumblr and on deviantart both have this little section for updates on each slot’s progress, but i admittedly didn't do a good job keeping them updated (and constantly updating two things in different places just. kinda sucks.), so i’ve been diving into trello to unify that update section in one place and keep things nice and organized and transparent : ) it would be super useful for keeping track of the waitlist too, if that becomes a thing, or for updates on commission status and such!

so far i’m only testing things out, so it’s looking like this right now (sorry for the tiny image!):

(the board is lying btw, commissions are very much closed haha) (also if it’s basically unreadable, here’s the upload on sta.sh)

with all those little lists, the “available slots” and “sketch” and “lineart” and whatnot, i would be moving the card along the process : D and adding the appropriate labels, of course

this way i can have those halfsteps labelled too (working on/halfway through/finishing), since there’s only so many colors i can use without making it confusing (and tbh i’m already not too thrilled about color labels as it is, but it beats typing each individual status, and i’d imagine it’s more readable for folks consulting the list as well)

i really like how this looks so far in terms of organization but i’m unsure if the horizontal scrolling is anything but annoying, specially to folks on mobile (with the way i divide my screen on desktop, it certainly isn’t ideal either), so if you have any experience with that, feel free to let me know your thoughts!! there are a thousand different ways to organize this, and this is all a work in progress too c:

so! anything specific you folks would like to see on trello? i know this is a fairly common tool for commission queues and info and such but i’m super new to this platform, so please feel free to send suggestions! ♥

anyway yeah! that’s it! ;0; !

i’m sorry for the super long post, i’ve just been thinking about a lotta stuff haha i feel like i don’t interact a whole lot as it is, and since commissions are very much a team effort, i do want to get input from you folks on it c: it’s good to get a fresh perspective as well!

thank you so much for reading this far !! let me know your thoughts !!! :D ♥

[biinaberry]

The Man with the Spiral Sweater

23

10 pages.. 10 pages and I have nothing. What am I even supposed to write about? He gave me no list and just told me to finish these before he visits. What would he even want me writing about? Imagination and storytelling aren’t my strong suit, yet I guess this is my irony. The one thing that I haven’t practiced over and over. This is going to be a chore.

Well... I guess that counted as filling this book, but 10 pages of just me questioning the words of a teenager wouldn’t be the most exciting thing in the world… What are the limits here? Does he want full sentences or do bullet points work? I really wished he actually told me what he wanted. 

Maybe I can use this book for concepts. Get my thoughts down and then work from there into something that he would enjoy. Now, what do we have to work with?

History book (write down everything) Doesn’t want a rehash of everything

History (Our Pov)  Definitely wouldn’t believe what I say

Instructional guide Can’t explain/demonstrate pvp when it isn’t in person

Doodle book?  Boring

Something I have experience in?

Something you have experience in

Now we have something, I remember someone saying that the best writing comes from your own experiences. Okay. Good. Good. We have a start.. Now what do we have to work with:

PVP

Survival skills

Connections

Consequences

Letting go

Awareness

Those you are working with

Partner’s connections

Emotions

Strategies

Location

Those beyond what you see

Wait

wait wait wait wait

…..

I’ll get back to this later

25

He didn’t visit. 

Should have expected that honestly, god that was idiotic to actually believe him. 

Says you tormented him and you expect him to actually want to face you again, like the first visit went so well. At least it gives me more time to actually process this…assignment.

There are some extra books. 5 more than needed if I remember correctly. 5 mistakes, 5 chances to redo… 5 books I can use for myself. But why would I need these extra ones? I have no use for them. I’ll go back to brainstorming

31?

Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip

Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip

Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip

That's all I hear anymore, at least a week of just the sizzling lava to keep me company here. I thought chucking that clock would bring the warden’s attention, but that was for not. Beyond the loss of communication, now time is against my side as well. 

It had to have been at least a day right? No way it couldn’t have been. Yet why hasn’t the warden come back? Meals were at least once a day, so what is taking so long. He should have visited by now. Maybe different measures will get his attention.

??

I find it harder to pick up the pen every time I fall asleep. I wonder if one day it will be stuck here, unable to even stand up. 

Could I leave? I will one day, inevitably but will the rest of the world allow me? Or will they keep pushing against me until I give the reaction they are looking for just to send me back here. I might follow them then, try not to change their mind because what use is it to change those who are not willing to do so. Or maybe I'm the one who still needs changing, or maybe neither do. If I were given the choice:

I don't want to leave, not yet. 

I’m not ready.

What would await me out there? How much will be different, and how much will be the same? 

The latter half is what keeps me awake really, how much wouldn’t change. Would Sapnap still want to spar with me or simply banter, or just sit around and watch nature with me and George. George.. God what a mess that will be wouldn’t it. Another burnt bridge for a plan I believed in, do I- should I fix these connections? I internally want to say yes, yet I feel the urge to just let it be. Let the sleeping dog lie for what good is it to try and reform what cannot be made. Would creating new connections work? Is that a better approach? 

Good thing I have a long and silent time in order to do so. 

I used to believe obsidian was a sign of adventure, to face one's fears and enter a world unlike those you’ve grown up in, yet this isn’t the same obsidian. The tools made to form your own path and mark your own now a tomb for myself and the land I called my home. To contain instead of release, to wither instead of strengthen. What do you do now with no one by your side. Do whatever you want? 

I could never

I already stood alone and now I stand with the dust and ashes of a self I do not see as my own...

To fear the inhuman isn’t wise. More than 60 percent of the population is some form of inhuman, even if they don’t appear so at first glance. I, a mannequin, Wilbur, part whale and Quackity.. is quackity. However to say what I saw was your typical inhumanoid would be an understatement- 

I need to stop. I don’t want- But I-.. they won’t find this right? I don’t want them to- they Can’t find this. I’ll burn it if I have to- but.. But this- I need this..

I can scribble it out if needed, or rip the page out! I- Are those footsteps.. No no no- He- The Warden isn’t until later. Don’t let them know. Don’t let them know. 

But things will get worse if I don’t say anything.

I always felt watched, ever since I first made a name for myself. Whether it was from an adoring fan or those parting the way, not wanting to inconvenience me. So I’m not unused to having attention thrusted upon me at any opportune moment, even if I wasn’t trying to be. Though after a few months there started to be this.. presence to say the least. I could never identify who or where this feeling came from, but there was this feeling of.. wrongness. Like how you feel like you are forgetting something, but it’s on the tip of your tongue. It always happened when I was alone or nearly so. I rarely found myself in any form; whether that was doing challenges with Sapnap and George or simply bantering with Callahan and the others. I never liked the quiet, maybe that's just from the manhunts, but the anticipation of waiting for something to happen was never a comfort to me. I’d much rather be the one causing that then be on the receiving end-

When I first realized he was there, I wished I didn’t. Ironic in a way, it was a tournament.. or well more so a duel between me and Techno. The air was crisp but not too cold, the way you imagine August to be before the first chills of October. And even though I lost that day, what made me stop was what I saw while on the ground, exhausted after the final round. To describe him as anything moral would be a lie. He was watching us; watching me, and I’m used to people staring. I'm not the most humanoid creature in existence, but that man. There was something off with him. 

The me back then wouldn’t have remembered anything physical about him other than the innate feeling of deja vu when we made eye contact. And then it clicked and at that moment, I felt myself want to run. But I couldn’t, millions are watching and if I run now then all that attention would be used against me. I bared through the hollow feeling of Techno hauling me up off of the floor and eventually meeting the duel organizer and his crew. And right there was when I saw him. Shorter than me by a few inches with brown eyes and a smile others would see as trustworthy, he had a simple black hoodie with a smiley face, my own merch. It shouldn’t have affected me as much since the event literally had my name plastered over it, but the implications of that sweater did not bode well with me. 

He congratulated Techno and said his condolences with me, saying he was rooting for me the whole time, but the only thing I processed was how it felt like claws were grabbing at me when we shook hands. I was clearly bigger than him, yet it felt like I was miniscule compared to him. As if something was hiding just below his skin and was just waiting for the right opportunity to rip it away from me. His grip was like 10 different hands were digging into my plastic skin and were hooking their claws into me. He told me his name, but I can’t remember it, it feels like static and errors, the kind of noises George would emit after getting severely injured, but he had no scratches on him; no implications of injuries either. I took as swift a leave as I could while also being respectful, but I could not wait to leave that man's sight. 

He never did leave me.

Out of the corner of my eye I could almost see him, and understand why I hated that handshake. His body was stretched, his legs disproportionate to his body, arms almost touching the ground and his hands. His hands looked like three separate pairs of fingers were all melted together on the same base, yet each moving together in sync. Besides the blatant horror that I couldn’t even perceive head on, it was the purple tint to him that really made me double take, not just turning around and questioning why he hasn’t left me alone yet. Purple scales were normal for dragon hybrids, yet his skin had a magenta tint to them. Different spots had dark magenta spots that would blend out with the rest of his pale skin. It appeared in some spots like he was melting as well, unable to withstand the constraints and contortions of his own body in a host too small for their own. 

It was then that I realized why I hate the quiet so much.

For it was his calling card.

The next time I met him was before all the wars and the eventual degradation of the server I once called home. A time before the wars, a time before Tommy, I yearn for those days sometimes, when the prison walls are so bare they allow me to daydream for a long forgotten past. I was chopping wood, taking my diamond axe and skewering the wood with the sharp blade before I heard the sounds of parrots. I was in the middle of an oak forest and the closest jungle wasn’t for another two thousand blocks. I followed the noise until a twig broke behind me and I turned and saw him again. The same creature from the duel. His long torso was bigger than that of the trees and his head brushed against the tallest branches of the trees, leaves falling to the ground, turning to stained glass when they touched his body. He had a smile on his face, one of contempt as he looked down upon me. My first instinct would have been to aim for his arms, but something told me that would have ended badly for me, so I didn’t. I found myself asking who he was and he chuckled, in the way molten lava does and responded “As time would describe itself to history >;}” before going back to smiling down at me. I knew there was more to it but when I turned my head to grab a potion to ready myself, he was already gone. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I’d see him in the reflections of the water, he never did truly.

The last time I saw them was when I was gathering my own supplies in the final battle against them, the heroes of the story. I needed everything I possibly could in order to insure a victory that I would never achieve. I had gotten used to working alone after everyone started leaving each other. I couldn’t trust anyone anymore so what use would the company be anymore. It’s been so long since I’ve seen the figure that I’ve allowed him to slip my mind, and that's when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I drew my blade, turned around, and there he was.

The dark tinted purple of the portal bounced against his skin and the floor from the other side of the room. His shadow, a kaleidoscope of colors even against the blackstone flooring, almost touched my feet. I wasn’t stupid, I tried banning the creature so many times, but he always broke through, always able to make his way back in, and at that point I didn’t see a reason to try anymore and I let him be. 

I regret that action now. 

He stood by the portal, not moving an inch as his body melted together and reformed as our eye contact never separated. It never felt like he was looking at you. It was like he was looking beyond you at something you didn’t even know existed in the first place. He tilted his head to the side slightly and with a smile too big for his face he asked. “Does the character now want to become the playwright <:} ? Discover a level of self identity that you can never contain ;}”? He giggles like broken glass and as he walks behind the portal frame, and leaves me alone in my thoughts as I clench the cold glass bottle in my non dominant hand. 

I don't want to meet them again. I don't want to see the Man in the Spiral Sweater who only appears when I’m alone, yet where do I go? I am contained within a commissioned cage and all I have is the lava to keep me safe. But it won’t keep him out, it never will. If code couldn’t before why would molten rock do the same. I’m biding my time for I know that he has something  he wants to do to me- but what- why- what could I possibly give to him that I haven't destroyed by my own two hands- Why hasn’t the warden shown up- where is everyone else- how do- “Why, hello there Dream :) “

[unexpected-possibilities]

So! Let’s talk mental health and extended lifespans for magic users!

This has been a topic of a lot of thought for me, and I’ve landed on a couple of headcanons that aren’t necessarily close to how it works, but they sound plausible and work within the range of things that I want in my fics.

First things first, I’ve decided to go with a theory that it takes about a decade of regular magic use to extend the lifespan of a human mage/wizard/witch, etc. This means basically using magic with frequency- a couple times a year with low-strength spells isn’t gonna give you immortality, whereas daily or every other day use will, no matter what level the magic is on. Over that decade, the magic user still ages relatively normally, maybe a few hitches here and there(I decided that Zoe blames magic for being short) but otherwise they’re not really stuck until that 10th year or so. So I headcanoned Douxie as having begun regular magic use at the age of 9 (quite early by any means.) which leaves him stuck at 19, assuming he always kept up with magic over the years. I put Zoe at starting magic at 11, leaving her stuck at 23. Now, wait a minute, that math just doesn’t sound right, you say. I’m saying that it took about 12 years for her extended lifespan to kick in because of on-and-off magic use while trying to hide her abilities.

Magical creatures, on the other hand, age slower naturally. Trolls seem to have much-extended lifespans, but they do age. Vendel appeared younger in the 1100′s because of this, and considerably older in Trollhunters, a natural process of aging(and maybe all the stress of leading a town of trolls for over a thousand years.) Now, wouldn’t Gunmar and Bular have aged as well? Bular, I would say, absolutely should look a bit older, along with Blinky and Aarrrghh and Draal and anyone else who showed up then. I’m willing to let that slide on account of not wanting to redo character models that significantly. Gunmar was sucked into the Darklands, which I can excuse as having an altered way of interacting with time. HOWEVER, trolls do age that much slower, and maybe it’s possible the Vendel we see in the 12th century is simply already old. Charlemange is at least a thousand years old I would say, probably older. Who knows how dragon aging works, especially in regards to shapeshifting ones. I would presume that their interaction with magic, as with mages, would leave them unaging and therefore their form never shows indication of age.

So what about mental health? Well, trolls already live ‘slower’ lives, less eventful on a day to day basis, takes them longer to mature, things just aren’t as quick as in a human life. I’d say most trolls would be decently well off, besides the lingering affects of living through various disasters, wars, and other traumatizing events. The amount of stress that a troll like Vendel goes through probably has a bit of an exacting toll. I don’t blame him for getting irritable.

But a human immortal would not be able to live in a slowly moving society like the trolls do. As far as we know, very little has changed for the actual process of Trollish society. Human society advances quickly, as we know. Not only that, but a human immortal would be basically alone in regards to all of this.

Let’s start with Merlin. Grumpy, irritable, easily annoyed or frustrated, and constantly busy or stressed. And he is old. When would Merlin have started magic? Or was he on and off with magic in his life? Did he grow up at the same time as Arthur? I think? I don’t know but it would be neat to find out a little about his history. Merlin also seems to cling to the few immortal friends he has, between Morgana, Arthur, and then Galahead. And he has really no patience to put up with a maturing apprentice. Also, how many apprentices has he had? Both he and Morgana would indicate there being multiple. What happened with them, and where are they now? What has Douxie heard about their ends, because so far, up until him, it wasn’t good things.

Morgana is a case where I think her immortality never comes much into play, but it does make me wonder how she got to be Merlin’s apprentice (again, would be neat to hear about). I’d really love to know more about the whole Camelot history but I’m guessing some of that was cut, seeing as how we get little tidbits but nothing so substantial as, say, Merlin’s history prior to Douxie.

Now onto Douxie, who was really the main part of this post originally. Where do I even begin? Poor guy absolutely has a whole host of issues as I’ve discussed in my fics, but I’m really guessing over the years he’s formed a few, namely a distinct rejection sensitivity, probably some abandonment issues, and I’d have to say depression and anxiety as I’ve already talked about. Think about how much happens in one human lifetime. There’s tons of things that would be depressing as all hell, not to mention that if he ever makes mortal friends, he has to be very aware that they are going to die well before he ever will. Wars, natural disasters, crises, and so on and so forth. Merlin gave the boy increased anxiety and an unhealthy amount of stress, and then left moppet!Douxie with a list of things to do while he waits for his master to come back. And ultimately, Merlin acts like he forgot his apprentice even existed. That could have only destroyed him on the inside, and especially to lose Merlin just about the same day he finally got him back. I could talk for days about what the world has probably done to Douxie, but instead I’ll leave that up to my fics to elaborate on.

We don’t know much about Zoe, besides things here and there and that she’s known Douxie and Archie for a while. I’d have to guess she spent a lot of time with Doux and Arch over the years just traveling along with them. But I’d imagine that sometimes they split up, things changed, etc etc and they always found their way back to each other again. I haven’t really delved into what her mental stuff looks like, but not to fear, because it is certainly coming(in fic form). But much like Douxie, she probably also went through an assortment of traumatic events. Humans do not do well on their lonesome, so I can imagine that she probably chose to stick with other magic users for the most part to protect her emotions. I’m not confident Douxie could really bring himself to do that, however, seeing as he cares so deeply for other beings.

Conclusion? The only reason Douxie and Zoe made it through nearly a thousand years of crazy human bullsh*t with very little mental health support for the majority of the time is that they had each other and Archie.

[darkpoisonouslove]

2021 Projects

It’s a new year and since my writing kinda slowed in the last couple of months (more like for over half a year now), I thought it would be motivating for me and informative for anyone who’s interested to lay out my ideas for my work during 2021. Now I do not call these plans because I do not want to jinx anything but I am excited about these projects and I hope that I will manage to fit them in throughout this year.

- Fix-It Series - a series of fics that deals mostly with the plot holes in the first three seasons of Winx. I have already written two works that would be part of that series once it is officially launched - Ice Is Stronger with Some Lightning and Darkness Mixed in; Left to Heritage - and have started work on several others. Now this isn’t so much a rewrite as much as it is me being petty enough to go “this could be fixed while still keeping the original sequence of events (on a grand scale) and I will prove it if the writers couldn’t be bothered to do so”. I am also confining this to the first three seasons because the rest would need complete rewrites (though, tbh I am not sure whether season 3 doesn’t fit into that mold as well).

- Season 2 CT arc - Now I already said that I would be writing fix-it fics but this one I feel deserves its own mention because I have taken it a bit far already. I am basically writing an entire curriculum about dark magic because I was getting annoyed by the fact that they never really learned much and I have taken the liberty to do some worldbuilding and mention a lot of other things that were never actually addressed. So now it will probably clock out on tens of thousands of words and it will need to be regarded as a separate thing. I am thrilled about all the things I have come up with, however, and hope this will be received well because I have really put my heart into it (and my mental energy) and have invested too much attention in detail.

- Speaking of rewrites, I have already started work on the season 6 rewrite thanks to an ask I got. I have outlined a big part of it and made all the changes to the overall structure of the season that I felt necessary. Currently, everything it needs is to map out each episode separately before I can write them out. I will be doing this in more of a script format because a full-on fic will take too much time that I really want to devote to some of my other projects from the endless pile. I am thrilled about the changes I have made and the arcs I have given the characters and I am really looking forward to actually producing the final form of this one.

- Fae creature AU - This is a story actually inspired by my rage over Fate: The Winx Saga. Or rather by the fact that they do not look like fairies at all in there so I actually took the liberty to reimagine the plot of the cartoon a slightly different way. The main gist is that Bloom never meets Stella on that summer day in the park. They meet years later after Bloom has already settled and has a family on Earth only for all of that to be shaken to the ground by the reveal that she is a fae creature with a long, long life ahead of her. The two of them need to adjust to the reality that they are some of the last of their kind and having a future becomes harder, the longer that future is. I have mapped out the most part of the plot of this but I am still staggering with my approach to the execution. I am currently betting on a long one-shot (something of 20-30k+ words) but we will see how that goes once I have a clearer idea about the actual structure.

- Bloom/Sky childhood... rivals AU - This one was totally born while I was making my Bloom/Sky Kerosene video. It deals with the way things would be happening if Bloom had been raised on Domino by her real parents and her and Sky had known each other all along. I have more concepts for this one than an actual, concrete plot but I have already done some work on the relationships that I want this to focus on. Bloom and Sky getting to actually develop as people alongside each other is the focus of this, of course, but there is a lot more that I would like to explore. Their relationship with their own parents (mostly their mothers) and responsibilities is something that I feel would have a big impact on them considering their titles. And of course, the best friends are also there - Brandon and Stella ftw! Plus, the other main characters will be getting in on this as well. However, due to the span of time this will have to cover and the lack of any plot or structure for it, this one will probably have a longer time to sit in the drawer until I can manage to solidify this as a story.

- 31-Day Fic Collection - I have already started this as a sort of writing exercise to keep me in the flow of things during January and February while I am dealing with finals and other uni stuff. I am planning on keeping this confined only to one couple (that you’ll never guess) but we’ll see. The prompts I have picked would require a certain dose of creativity that I usually get around exams when I am too busy to keep my eyes open, let alone write. I am planning on posting these during March in order to open that month for other writing but we’ll see how that will go since I am really behind on all of it (3/31). Anyway, I just wanted to announce this so that, hopefully. I will commit to it now that it is out in the open.

- 200-Followers Celebration - I still haven’t done that and it is the reason why I want to have March as a free month in my schedule in order to host this celebration. I was hoping I could post the ready works while I am working on completing any and all requests from the celebration. I am also pretty close to 300 followers but not quite there yet so it is possible that I will have the two celebrations together but only time will tell. I have not exactly figured out what to do with the celebrations but I have a couple options and will make sure to choose from them by the time this can be kicked into motion. In the meantime, I am open to ideas if you have any.

- Old requests - I have several old requests sitting in my inbox that I have neither forgotten about, nor abandoned. I just hit a roadblock with all of them but I am actually hoping to finish them by the time the follower celebrations are finished. Now these include a handful of requests for the Sparks of Life verse that are about to get a year-old at this point, the leftover requests about the Domme AU and two other requests from a random prompt list I reblogged around June last year. To be fair the SoL ones are the least thought out so far but I will get to all of them... at some point.

- Sparks of Life - now that I mentioned that, I have several works... in the works for this verse. I have announced all of them already but have not made much progress because I was just not feeling any kind of writing impulses lately. I am still excited about all of these stories but I just haven’t managed to find the right direction for them yet. I believe that stories get completed when they are ready to be completed but I will still do my best to actually put in the effort to finish all of these and finally share them because I have been hyped about them for so long and I have been posting random excerpts from them all and getting people on here hyped as well.

- Season 1 Re-rewatch - I will probably have to rewatch all of the seasons if I am fixing things in them but for this one, I might actually redo my “reviews” because I didn’t write my thoughts on it in-depth the first time around. Besides, it turns out to be the most solid season so taking it apart could help me immensely with all of my writing projects and that makes it worth the effort (besides, it’s not like I don’t rewatch random episodes whenever I feel like it).

- World of Winx Thoughts - I have actually started watching and reviewing this but I had to stop thanks to my uni workload and other things that needed to be done (honestly, everything is such a mess right now). I liked what I saw but, of course, I only got through the first episode so we’ll see how this goes.

- Fate: The Winx Saga Thoughts - I will be writing out my opinions on this as well but I have no idea when I’ll manage to get to that (either free time or making myself sit down and watch it). Not much of a project, really, but I thought I’d mention it.

[rons-wheezely]

Ron || Inseparable

[Requested]

Genre: Fluff

Summary: this dude you don’t know really wants to be your friend??; Ron x reader “...I mean, I guess he’s cute or whatever, so it’s fine.”

----

It all started in charms class. Ron dreaded that class more than anything in the world, spells and incantations were definitely NOT his thing. Today, Professor Flitwick set up a bunch of locks in front of each student. He cleared his throat and said," Today, students, we will be learning blah blah blah.."

Every time Flitwick speaks, it's like jibberish to Ron. He's tried many times to concentrate, but last time he pulled a muscle or something because he had migraines for a whole week. Hermione says it's because his brain was smaller than a pea. What in the bloody hell was a "pea"? Definitely not piss, he hoped. He sucks at this class and it's painfully obvious..

"Ah, everyone play close attention to y/n's incantation and the subtlety of her wand. It's near perfect for a first try."

Ron turns his sights to you, who is now burning a Gryffindor red, as you redo the spell for everyone in the class. There was something beautiful about how you casted the spell, dare I call it magic. Ron Weasely couldn't take his eyes off of you like a star struck fan meeting his favorite quidditch team.

After that, Ron kept spotting you in crowds from class to class. He didn't want to sometimes, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't escape the memory that replayed in his head. The way his heart leaped out of his chest, how his fingers itched to shake yours for the first time and introduce himself. It was like you radiated some type of aura that drew him in. It's an overused description, but there was no other way to describe the way you pulled him in like a sinking black hole.  A problem still stood between him and his desires, however.

"I just wish we weren't strangers and that I could ask her out already, but then I'd--" Ron pouted to his friend Harry, who always seemed to get the girls. "You wouldn't understand though, since everyone seems to think you're the 'chosen one'." He mocked the voice of the masses. Everyone loved Harry, after all.

"Why don't you just talk to her?" Harry shovels his lunch into his mouth,"There's nothing stopping you, is there?" Harry says this so nonchalantly as if he's done it several times himself. "Unless you're chicken of course."

Half out of spite and half out of impatience, he wanted to prove that he could be friends with you. He introduced himself to you in the next class he shared, and days after that he'd wave to you when you two made eye contact. He thought it was embarrassing to be so excited to see someone he didn't know well, but it didn't stop his heart from beating faster than it had before.

After a week, Flitwick assigned a new project. "You shall team up with one person of your choosing and begin today's work." Before he was even finished speaking, you could see people making eye contact with their friends across the room. You didn't really have anyone you knew, as per usual, until you suddenly make eye contact with Ron Weasley.

His eyes are sparkling and it's like his whole life has lived up to this moment. He coughs into his elbow as he dusted off his robes when he stood up. Did he remember to brush his teeth this morning? God, he hopes so. He takes a deep breath and walks over to your seat. "Do you, uh, want to be partners?" He shifted under the feel of your gaze,"For the project of course; only if you want to."

Of course, you aren't in the position to say no, being that you've never been asked before, so you agree. However, that was just the beginning of your friendship with Ron. Overtime, it was like you two were always joined at the hip. You two would meet up and walk to class together, eat together, and even get caught up in Harry's adventures together. You never expected to be this close with Ron, or even anyone for that matter.

After school hours, you and Hermione hung out in the courtyard. It was her move in Gobstones when she brought up an interesting question. "I'd never actually think I'd see the day that Ron could be tolerated for more than a week. How do you do it?" She paused and mulled over her words. She spoke up again saying," Do you ever think he's clingy sometimes? It's like you two are conjoined twins or something... I'd say he was in love with you if it wasn't for Lavender Brown."

You hesitated in your response, feeling as though you were revealing too much," ...I mean, I guess he's cute or whatever, so it's fine." you attempt to shrug it off and focus on the game. Hermione's eyes burned holes into your skin as you tried to shake her uneasy stare.

Hermione gasped so loudly, it caught you off guard. Did you say too much? Did you say something wrong??? You shushed her in a panic, looking around at the other students staring at you. She recomposed herself with a deep breath, but she exploded in a flurry of whispered questions.

"So you think he's cute?? As a friend or... as something more? How long have you felt this way? Does anyone else know about this?" Hermione bombarded you with so many questions it was like the room started spinning.

"I wouldn't mind if we were something more," You could see Hermione about to gasp again," BUT I really don't think this is the kind of love story you think it is. He dated Lavender Brown up until two days ago, so he probably doesn't think of me that way, like you said earlier." The more you talked, the more you felt like you were giving away the secret krabby patty formula. Why can't you shut up?? "He probably likes girls like that."

"Or maybe he wanted you to be jealous?" Hermione spoke and won the game in one smooth turn,"Think about it." As you clean up the game pieces, she puts her hand on your shoulder. "I know that when he was dating Lavender, he walked with her to class, right? But don't you normally walk with him?" Hermione strolled the hallways with you. This situation was so stiff the outside air of the courtyard was suffocating you, leaving no room albeit to give in.

"I.. I don't know, Hermione. Maybe we're thinking into it too much?" Your head drifts to the outside scenery of Hogwarts. "Besides, why would he want to date me?"

A couple days later, Ron came back to the old routine of walking with you everywhere as if he'd never left. You wouldn't have even noticed if it weren't for that conversation with Hermione. It itched in the back of your mind like a spider on the back of your neck. You felt like you were reading too far into his jokes, and when he laughed at one of yours, there was a flip in your stomach and blood rushed to your face.

Now, his touches set your skin ablaze. It lingered and danced along the surface of your senses. Every breath of his that reached you was warm, his hands were a little too soft, and you could list a thousand other things that sent your mind running. Does he really like you like that?

"I thought she'd crack by now, Harry." A frustrated Ron brewed in his own bits of misfortune. "What if she's not into me like that?"

Harry looked at him. Harry's eyes glance at the clock before responding," Ron, it's like 11 pm and you're thinking about y/n?"

Ron nodded with a pout on his face.

Harry sighed," Why don't you just tell her?" Before Ron could reply with a flurry of doubts, Harry interjected. "You've literally had a crush on her since like First year, and I haven't seen you make your move. If you're that worried, you could try..." He looked around the dormitory room for a clue. His glasses glinted like an anime character when his eyes settled on a potions book. "You could always make a uh, forgetfulness potion?"

That seemed to satisfy Ron's stress and he laid back down in bed. He predicted that in the next 24 hours, he'll have confessed his feelings and then forced you to take his concoction of a "forgetfulness potion."

"Y/n." Ron had taken you outside the Great Hall during lunch. His palms are so sweaty and cold it could be a slip 'n slide (except he wouldn't know what that was.) You were talking to Harry about the next Quidditch game when he decided to confess. It took some persuading to leave the conversation, but you eventually gave in.

"Yes, Ron?" You prodded his shoulder. His face was pale, and the awkward silence was becoming unbearable. "...Ron? Are you monologuing or something?"

"I... I like you."

"Uhh me too? That's why we're friends." You weren't sure if your mind was playing tricks on you again. He wasn't confessing.. right?

"No I--" He stammered. "I like you. Like a lot. Since first year.." This was it. Any second you would reject him, and then he'd have to whip out his potion and apologize profusely while you guzzle it down.

"Oh." You blinked. Once. Twice. "Really? So this is a confession?"

"Will you go out with me?" He looked into your eyes. He was done for, he knew it. But, the disgust of rejection never came.

"Yeah.. I'd actually like that, Ron." You hugged him with all of your might. If this was a dream, then you hoped you'd never wake up. You were trying so hard not to let your feelings get the best of you, if only you knew he felt the same way. This past month's emotional procrastination was futile, and you can now admit the blooming feeling in your heart.

Ron was stunned. It was only until his robes were getting wet that he looked down. You were crying, but they were tears of joy? He really was prepared for the worst. Once the shock had died down, he embraced you. He never thought this day would come, but when it did, it was the greatest emotion he'd ever had. He kissed your forehead as the rest of your face was buried in his arms. "I love you."

---- 

-A/N-

Just a heads up, in the future I’d like to write and include other HP characters if y’all don’t mind (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ It’ll be about other HP characters in the same year probably, except for the other Weasleys. Love you guys ♡

p.s. I’m sorry that I took so long on this rip I wrote a whole different ending where you fake date Harry for a hot second, but it got out of hand and I scrapped it lol

[common-blackbird]

it’s time... for a dragon age 2 playthrough post. scroll on!

The things i loved most:

1) the frame of the game - Cassandra interrogating Varric.

What a great way to get hook the player. Like, the opening of guards dragging this poor dwarf with cuts of the title, and then Cassandra demanding answers... Whoaaa! I have no idea if that’s usually done in games or not, but it’s definitely such an amazing intro with characters introducing themselves as well as the story so perfectly, it captivates instantly. The tutorial has a charm to it bc varric is messing around. Which serves to show more of his character. Cassandra’s personality was pretty much blank here but her presence is so powerful. Something happened, something huge and they know and i was about to find out. I can’t describe how excited that intro made me feel. Each time the scene cut to the interrogation scenes, my eyes were glued more than ever. Just GREAT.

Also it makes for a very convenient scapegoat for every plothole ever with the argument “it’s just his version of the story”.

2) The story.

It’s tragic. It’s amazing! The further you play, the more you can see that no matter what you do, everything leads to a disaster. Hawke doesn’t want to take sides, tries to mediate, does not want to get involved, but just can’t stop it. For every thing gained, Hawke loses two more. Your friends come with packages that get you involved in terrible stuff. Your good intentions result in disasters. The whole game you spent time climbing  the social ladder not only to reach the top hauntingly alone after losing all of your family, but also losing even that empty title and watching as the city you started to find your place in fall apart in blood. UGH! GAH! FEELS!

3) Kirkwall.

“ But, I beg you my dear readers, never forget that, no matter the subject of any story that might ever be explored between the cliffs of Kirkwall, She will find a way to steal the thunder of the protagonist. Or become the antagonist. Kirkwall is never a mere background. We could even understand it so: the challenge for you dear readers is to prevail against the smokescreens and observe to what extent our characters are players or played by the merciless black souled stone giant. Enjoy playing the dare of the ages between the lines of these humble memoirs. “

Memoirs from the Downfall - Act I. Mirage    by Pfefferminze on ao3 (fic rec!)

This paragraph summs up what Kirkwall is better than I ever could. This shrouded mystery that surrounds Kirkwall keeps you on toes. From the first intro when Varric describes it (paraphrasing from memory) “Kirkwall. The city of chains. It is a free city - keeping in mind i use the  the word loosely”. You already start seeing how dark Kirkwall gets. The name, that derives from its black walls (interestingly, the walls in the game aren’t black...), the history of slavery etched into every corner of that city  and its surroundings - the names (The Gallows, the Bone Pit, the Wounded Coast, the pub The Hanged Man), the scenery (sculptures of slaves, the sunken ships by the Wounded Coast, slums and underground of the Lowtown and the Darktown).

I was really digging the History of Kirkwall and it loved it. Kirkwall has a history of violence, from the times of slavery of the Tevinter Imperium, to Qunari conquests and liberation from Orlais. Many revolts and uprising. And though free now, it’s suggested that, seeing that the Templars hold the most influence, Kirkwall is in the hands of the Chantry.

It’s full of cultures mixing together. I love how not one of your companions is a native to Kirkwall, and it feels like a crossroads to every character’s life. a very tragic crossroads in their life, seeing there’s nothing ever good waiting for you in Kirkwall.

Also there’s these codex entries you look for about the Enigma of Kirkwall. It was when i started digging that up that i fell in love with the city and all. Combined with the History of Kirkwall and every codex entry for every place in and out of Kirkwall, I was pulling my hair out reading about the Enigma. I..i’m still not quite sure what happened. Did the magisters use blood of thousands upon thousands slaves to unbound a forgotten one? if so, is that corypheus? And around what time did that happen?? I get that part (or all?) of Kirkwall’s mysterious violent agency is owed to corypheus slumbering relatively close to the city, but is that all? or is there something more? In either case, the Band of Tree are my heroes.

4) The characters.

I’ll talk more about them later, but in general, i just love how they oppose each other, how complex they are, and there is just not pleasing everyone. They feel genuine. They are all deeply flawed. They all have a solid background that makes their beliefs and actions convincing. The friendship/rivalry points are shaky though, and sometimes really don’t fit the character, but i guess there must be someone hating/loving your bad choices for the sake of the game regardless of characterisation. But all in all, i really appreciated each and every character, and loved how their viewpoints challenged me.

First i want a disclaimer: i love each and every character in the game, whatever i say against them doesn’t diminish my liking of them. My issues really aren’t significant. Also, i might and probably will say smth wrong bc i’ve only played it once. I’m a baby.

let’s start with Family:

Mama Hawke:

i really loved mama hawke. after reading her codex entry and an excerpt of some book on this site, i really feel for her. I mean, imagine going back to your home city where you only remember being respected and wealthy only to find out everything you remember is gone, you are forced to live in poverty, your kids are doing dangerous jobs and you can’t stop them bc you do need that money, you write letters trying to get the old connections but keep failing (at least it was implied?), it’s really been hard for her. I get why she was so obsessed with her legacy. She wanted her childhood home back. She can’t feel like Kirkwall is her home until she is home.

Also loved her antagonism towards Hawke. It seems she can no longer treat him like a child, so she criticises him instead. and honestly, hawke is doing some crazy things so he defintiely deserves some criticism. And stopping Hawke from taking carver with him is just logical to me, idk. since she knows she can’t stop Hawke from going, she will at least attempt to prevent the last kid from going into mortal danger. I’d do the same. AND AFTER HAVING CARVER DYING IN DEEP ROADS I AGREE WITH HER

All in all, i don’t think she’s a perfect mom, but there is no perfect mom, and Leandra does care a lot for her kids. The All that remains killed me too :’(

Bethany

RIP :(

Her codex is not long, but i guess she wasn’t happy with her magic :(

CARVER

My favouritest bestest bro in the game. A secondary character with an inferiority complex towards his sibling, with no sense of humour, blaming everyone else for his inability to get a life? I see a lot of myself in him.  He is sooo bitter, but doesn’t even realise (or at least doesn’t admit) that he’s his biggest obstacle. He feels like it’s Hawke’s fault for Carver not getting his place in the sun, but honestly, it’s Carver’s devotion to Hawke that keeps him from getting a life. He’s just tied with that responsibility and can’t break from it unless forced to.

His interactions with other characters are so funny. Either he’s bitter or he’s awkward, i die every time ;;__;;

Anyways, he became a templar in my game and i thought it fits better thematically (throughout the game the grey wardens felt more like a fanservice material since they really aren’t connected to the story), but after reading that meta about carver and seeing the striking difference between warden!carver and templar!carver i wanna reload and redo everything ;;__;;

i mean... carver isn’t exactly a templar material. The codex entry for templars says that the wanted characteristics of templars are strong faith and utmost  obedience, none of which carver really has... . But that moment when he stands up against meredith was *chefs kiss* worth it. I’m just wondering what happens after, is he still a templar? is he with hawke? is he in Kirkwall or if not, where did he go?? so many questions ;A;

Uncle Gamlen

I feel bad for him. Mostly he’s mean but i like to think it’s bc he’s so ashamed that his sister sees what he’s become. And he’s bitter about his own life. I was so happy when i realised he has a personal mission ;__; I feel bad that he didn’t come to live in the hawke estate tho, especially since Hawke is also alone there :(

COMPANIONS!

Varric

There are no words that can properly convey the amount of love for this guy. He is simply flawless. He’s a charming godfather of the dwarven mafia. I wanna have a charming godfather of the dwarven mafia in my life... He already becomes interesting with the intro, and i gotta say, out of all ~storyteller~ types of characters, he is the best. he puts a disclaimer at the beginning with that game tutorial, and during the whole interrogation he’s like “well, how do you know i’m not lying? i could be.” Also, his voice is the second best voice in the game. 

As for his personal missions, oh wow, that thing with his big bro really hurt. I also gave him the red lyrium... was that a mistake? will i regret it? ;__; I know the true friend would prevent him, but i also trust that varric knows how to handle dangerous stuff...

On a side note, since i’ve read the comics (no self control whatsoever), i loved the beginning of the Until We Sleep, where varric mentions it’s easier to imagine all the people he had to kill were evil than to face the fact that those were normal people just doing their job or trying to survive. Man, it hurts TAT

*garret hawke’s voice when he looks a certain way at the family crest in the hawke estate* ISABELA!

Ok ok, so, i love Carver bc i relate,  i love Varric because he’s simply perfect. But I love Isabela because she’s the most intriguing.

She just crashed in Kirkwall and really didn’t sign up for all the trouble she got. She never likes to have deep conversations, she is always downgrading herself and you just wonder, what is it that happened in her life, and you know her past mistakes haunt her, and she’s doing her best to move on. Her arc was i think my favourite. I think the comic Those Who Speak really adds a lot to her arc in DA2 and makes some of her choices more understandable. Her whole story is about her internal conflict of whether to survive or do the right thing. Her story about freeing the slaves got her ship wrecked is great and all for making her be a pirate with a golden heart, but that story about her drowning all the slaves few years previous make this freeing of slaves a big character moment for her. She finally did the right thing. And she got for it was more trouble, because she’s a pirate which means she can’t afford to just do the right thing. And throughout the game, that same story is going back and forth. She runs off with the Relic bc she’s done the right thing before and it got her nowhere, so now she decided to put her own survival as a priority, but comes back bc she’s too kind to just leave Hawke standing like that. And again, with the slaver papers, it’s the same reasoning: it’s her or the higher cause. She needs that ship. She chooses herself. It’s her biggest flaw. But hey, between pros and antis in your party, it was really refreshing to have someone who, along with varric, just gives you a break with moral high-grounds.

I only wish we actually got to see her more as a captain in power in the game or that she showed me that amazing hat she saw in lowtown. It’s cool that it’s implied that her crew doesn’t like her and she also lost most of them during the crash while the others probably left her after.

I love it when she says she goes sometimes to the docks just to watch the ships. That there is no feeling like sailing. I just want a spin-off with captain isabela’s terrible adventures (´A`)

Also, isabela’s VA is my fave, she really did an amazing job. she voices so smoothly, i wouldn’t know if i was playing a game or watching a movie. And has such a pretty way of talking...

Aveline

I’m really neutral towards Aveline. I like her personality and i like that she’s found herself a purpose and advanced in the guards, and she’s always looking out for everybody. I just wish her personal missions went in the vein of the one in act 1... i feel it would have been more interesting to see her having trouble in her position and that you can’t just waltz into Kirkwall and take command. It’s implied she’s being pressured, so i guess she’s just dealing with it herself, but i just... eh. She’s ok.

Merrill

Merrill actually has one of the if not the most tragic story-line that really challenges you both morally and emotionally. 

Her cheerful and cute personality is dampened by her constant dark leitmotif of willingly practicing blood magic. And i think her story really showed well the indirect consequences of it.

Not in one instance was Merrill’s practice of blood magic an active culprit for all tragedy that surrounds her. First, it seems that blood magic is practiced in the clan, seeing there is no freeing Flemeth without it, but i’m guessing it’s seldom practiced and with great caution. So Merrill wasn’t in any danger of being prosecuted for her blood magic. It’s actually her wish to study it further with the help of the demon that makes her an outcast. That and the magic mirror that apparently is forgotten for a reason. Also, it’s made quite clear that Merrill would be welcomed back no questions asked if she at any point decided to ditch the demon and live without the study of magic mirror. She, on the other side, is driven by the higher cause, the idea that figuring out the forgotten purpose of some evil mirror might help her clan, and is willing to be an outcast if it means reaching her goal and helping her clan. Fast foward to act 3, the clan is still there when they should have moved away, and it’s only when you face the demon possessed Keeper, you realise why. She knew Merrill would sooner or later bargain with the demon again. And she sacrificed herself, trapping the demon within her, as to prevent it. And i think that is why the clan stayed so long there. She waited for Merrill because she wanted Merrill to kill her, and hopefully with her the demon. It didn’t go as planned, obviously, but i really think she had good intentions. When Merrill does manage to kill the Keeper she’s forced to face the clan and i chose the wrong option of telling the truth which resulted in a massacre. Merrill gets back and regrets everything. She, however resolves to help the alienage.

The thing is, there is no one to blame Everyone had the best intentions. Everyone is working for the safety of the clan. it’s a story of sacrifice and when sacrifice feels like the wrong choice (whether it truly is or isn’t depends on your worldview) and it’s really done well.

But here are my issues with Merrill. I love her as a character, but i don’t agree with her decisions.  It’s a personal issue. Merrill is giving up everything as to help her clan by learning history of the evil mirror. And while this is a game where old things are important and significant, her mission is always explained as this duty of preserving history. And while i agree that preserving history is very important, there is a limit to it. you should never put history before the present. If your research endangers the present, you give up on that line. The other is that you need to make peace with the fact that many, many things are forgotten and will be forgotten. It’s sad, but you gotta make peace with the fact that some things are just gone.

And Merrill, who is a magic historian, fails to see that. So that kinda irks my historian moral codex. And in the end, as far as i know, Merrill doesn’t succeed in reviving the evil mirror and dedicates herself to help the alienage. It was a terrible way to learn that some things aren’t worth it.

The other, less personal issue, is that none of this had to happen. I mean, the keeper obviously didn’t think Merrill was experienced enough to actually deal with demons and therefore distrusted her and warned the clan about it. So, if Merrill was a little bit more patient she could have just studied normally under the keeper, and when she herself becomes the keeper, she could have fraternize with that demon however she wanted without much complications. So yeah... i guess youth is made of idealism.

But as i said, minor issues. Her story is really, really great.

Fenris

Fenris and Anders are my “i love you but i am soo annoyed by you but i still love you” characters. Half of the time they’re just there to make you feel guilty for being a neutral party. Which sometimes has me rolling my eyes. If Fenris and Anders actually got along with each other, slavery and mage oppression would have ended in 2 days. Which makes it all the more frustrating that they do not.

Fenris.. his voice. What a nice voice colour. So elegant, but kinda rough, sometimes he talks like he’s 80 years old, sometimes like he’s a teenager. I love it.

As for the rest, i mean, i don’t agree with his methods, but very often, the guy’s got a point. I get his experience with mages colours his view on them, so while i symphatise, it’s really hard to have him on my “free mages” missions when he’s my best tank and i want him to be on friendly terms with Hawke so this makes things... difficult. That aside, it’s interesting that fenris doesn’t see mages as evil per se, but rather victims who, in his experience, will always, always going to succumb to a demon. It’s an inevitable reality to him. And this makes me wonder if he ultimately, despite being his friend or lover, is just waiting for the day he will be forced to kill Hawke too :(

As for his missions, they were ok, it led up to culmination and i didn’t let him kill his sister bc Hawke has just lost his mom, don’t do smth you’ll regret ;__;

also, somewhere around the end of act 2 i decided to romance fenris bc i love to suffer, so i worked the whole act 3 trying to get more aproval points and also wondering why are there no romance options when i talk to him... turns out that one night stand with isabela romanced her and canceled fenris. But i never even finished the romance with her so i’m just ??? about it all.

I wish it was more explained about the tattoos fenris has? I just thought the tattoos would play a big role somewhere in the game and it just never happened. There was a banter with Merrill about how his tattoos are similar to valaslin, so i thought, hmm, interesting, maybe the two are connected. But nah they just glow in the dark and make you pass through walls. Whatevs.

also dude just goes and kills without a second thought, i’m just “mate, you gotta calm down”. But that’s his thing. He’s constantly bitter and is very bad at anger management. I can’t blame him, considering he lacks around 10- 20 years of experience due to amnesia.

He’s the only one who left me when Hawke sided with mages, and i was like, “ok i getcha, it’s been nice knowing you”, but then when i asked him to join me 5 minutes later he just went “ok changed my mind” which was so funny, like, where did all that integrity dissappear??? It would have been more impactful if the dialogue went in the line of “i want to stand by my principals but you’re a living breathing proof that not all mages are weak to succumb to demons so i’ll join you in the end” (and then side-eye “i told you so” when orsino turns into a demon)

And i wanna read the fenris comic now bc my question for every character here is what is their fate after kirkwall. I only know that isabela & varric are working for alistair and merrill wants to help the alienage. Aveline is i guess either dismissed from her job or got a pass after cullen took  the command.  But Carver?? Fenris?? Anders?? They never talked about long term plans...

Anders

ooh boy, here we go. there are many questions i have for him and am generally just hmmmm. First, as for his pro-mage rights - it’s like opposite fenris so i just have the same feelings: you mean well, i don’t agree with your methods, your experiences define your worldview so i let some things slide, but other things i will not agree with. Though, question: in how many circles has Anders been? He knows the kirkwall circle, he knows the fereldan circle. Seeing he has excaped 7 times, did they send him to a different circle each time or was the fereldan the last one? or the first one? Or maybe it was his boyfriend they transferred? did i miss something?

I’ll just whisper: awakening!Anders >>> da2!Anders. I just miss the old anders. Which says a lot bc during the awakening i was just “shut up anders”. I miss his bad jokes, his terrible attempts at flirting, his enjoyment of freedom, nagging all the time, and generally being more moderate in pro-mage rights. Like, in awakening, because it was not the only thing he talked about, it felt more personal and intense. Here mage-rights are the only thing he ever talks about + justice. I mean, please correct me if i’m wrong, this was just general impression. But to defend da2!Anders here, it makes sense that merging with mixed both of their personality, and i like that they did that. It’s also very sad.

The thing is, when i’m thinking about anders, i love his story and character. Just as it’s terrible that Fenris, having no memory from before being Fenris, Anders can never go back to being just Anders. And this, people, is why you don’t fraternize with spirits. He’s obviously afraid of how justice is affecting him and there are some bare traces of his old personality and i guess he wouldn’t be as radical if he didn’t have justice personality that can’t stand the injustice. And in combination with anders quite selfish personality (form awakening, and i say that lovingly), it makes him do things that justice wouldn’t condone. Anders is literally a walking bomb.

Again, same problem as with fenris, i really thought that the justice glow would have a incredibly significant culmination, and it didn’t, it was just to show that anders and justice are very bitter. Eh, ok.

Also, i let anders join after he blew up the chantry, bc he started it, so might as well follow it through.

Some minor characters that i remember

Senechal Bran for the next Viscount! He hated hawke so much but still put up with him.

Feynriel is the coolest mage in Kirkwall. I think his missions were my favourite. Dude goes from “oh no i’m a mage” to “i will just dreamwalk to tevinter and learn control the reality” to “i dream-killed bad people from thousands of miles away”. Does he appear in the next game? I want him on my side. He’s so cool.

I think the Maker is sending Cullen signs to quit being a templar. First job: evil mages that tortured you. Instead of “this job will kill you” h took it as  a “never trusting mages again, got it”. Second job: your boss is evil possessed paranoid maniac. Man, talk about bad luck.

What is the story of the Lady Elegant?

Flemeth had that big great talk at the beginning of the game and i thought by the end of the game i’d realise what it meant, but nope, still no clue.

Ok so I defeated Corypheus, but there was this looong shot of Larius walking away. Corypheus possessed larius, didn’t he? He’s out there. In a madman’s body. I know he appears in inquisition.

Many thoughts

I gotta say, in Kirkwall, at least, it didn’t feel like much of a challenge to pick a side. Like, there was no mage who said “hey i actually really like it here in the circle, the templars aren’t so bad”, and having templars actually smuggling mages from the circle says a lot to say the least. Every time a mage talks to you, unless you go with “oh they’re 100% lying”, their stories invoke sympathy and of course you want to help them. And then in 99% cases they turn to blood magic bc there was no other way. Except that dude who always hanged out with the wrong people, he only did blood magic to save Carver. But yeah, that turning to blood magic was like having Fenris side-eye me with an unspoken “i told you so” bc every mage, whether in desperation or hunger for power, will turn sooner or later into a demon. Regardless, blood magic was always in the act of desperation and self-defense. The only times where magic was actually evil was the slavers and the serial killer, who is a madman.

When i was reading the Enigma of Kirkwall, there was a part that talks of a blood-mage conspiracy and i was all, oh shit, there is a reason why templars are mean to mages! maybe the conspirators are framing innocent mages on blood magic crimes that they actually commit, maybe Meredith is actually on trail of the conspirators, maybe there is a reason for animosity on both sides. After all, Kirkwall was known for having a bigger number of apostates, a bigger number of blood magic cases and far more ruthless templars. It added up.Thinking back now, i never even got any specific reason why meredith was so intensely anti-mage, other than going mad.

But yeah, no conspirators. Just sad mages and mean templars, and good templars that get screwed by desperate and mean mages.

While in Kirkwall it’s easy to be a pro-mage, i was thinking a lot about mage-rights in general so let me indulge myself: there are circles, but the mages aren’t oppressed. Rather, the circles would be educational centres and society in every larger city where one learns how to properly handle magic bc magic is dangerous. You can leave when you pass the final exam and also come back anytime to hang out with mages who decide to live there since the institution would support mages.

Also, when one gets possessed, i’d invest more into “walk into their head and free them of demons” specialists. It’d be cool if you could have a dreamer who does that bc no lyrium spent. Honestly, why don’t they ever do that? How did the keeper do that rite for Feynriel? Was it blood magic?

I guess, you’d still have to answer for your crimes, tho no death punishment and degradation allowed. Blood magic wouldn’t be punishable by death, but rather have specialists who study it, but practice with extreme caution and use of another person’s blood is strictly prohibited.

Templars would still exist but completely reformed. No more “mages are all potential disasters”, but i’d rather make it that mages can too be templars, since they both have abilities that prevents the others from casting magic. This way the control system would be much like the dalish: if the keeper(mage) is possessed, the clan (which means the non-mages and the first(mage)) need to kill them. You could argue that you don’t need templars as non-mages, since mages can do it too, but seeing that in general people fear magic and feel inferior to it (since there’s a collective memory of the great tevinter imperium), having non-magic specialists would make them feel like on equal ground. The extra-reformed templars would be under Circle, not under direct command of the chantry, and circle, depending of whether chantry is reformed, might or might not be under chantry.

(a side note, i was thinking about templars recently and i can’t recall an instance where it says who had the clever idea to chew lyrium first? i just wanna know)

I know that DA2 wasn’t about grey wardens and therefore not about darkspawn, but seeing as in legacy we get corypheus being... an evil version of the Architect(??), i was only wondering do we get more answers about the darkspawn? is there hope for them? is the Architect still alive?

And oh, to turn to the Anders question:

Is he a terrorist, or was that just activism? I mean, i don’t see why those two can’t go together. blasting a building with a symbolic significance killing and harming many innocent people to get a message of your radical activism across belongs into a schoolbook of terrorism. Does he have a good cause? He sure believes so, and i, too, agree that mages should not be oppressed for just being mages. But does that mean this is the right way to do it? Personally, i do not condone any act of violence in service of a political or religious cause. I know it’s sometimes inevitable, but i like to believe there are more diplomatic ways, or at least not including an attack on civilians.

That aside, the moment where anders goes in front and just announces that the church was gonna blow up in a minute was the best anders moment for me. Until that point i more or less just viewed his activism as a hobby since he just did it in his free time, but now he put his money where his mouth is and freaking went all out. Cool character moment. And incredibly heartwrenching. He was aware of how many innocents he killed, but just didn’t see other way to get the point across.

I still don’t agree with his idea of blowing up the church tho. Maybe if he told Hawke, they could have done something to empty the church previously and further people away from it and then blow it up?

But still, blowing up religious buildings isn’t the answer. If i was the radical mage activist, i would have gone for the open assassination. Seeing it worked in WW1, i don’t see why it couldn’t start a fantasy war.

Some random things i liked:

uniportant but lovable interractions in the house: it starts innocently with gamlen’s house, to see how you’re doing, and becomes really fun during act 2 when you see your friends have been here and left you things. In act 3, however, it feels melancholic. no more family to come back to, just ghosts of friends that have visited, Bodahn and Sandal being there for you, Orana still not getting some sunlight and your dog at the fireplace. The Hawke Family Suite is playing, and you feel older than you are, lonlier than you should be. just... ouch. I hope Bodahn adopted Orana and took her out of Kirkwall :(

t i named the dog “Maker” which is very funny to me bc every time i summon the dog i just imagine Hawke yelling “Maker help us”. Carver hates the name bc he needs to chase the dog often in the streets. Mama Hawke never ever calls the dog Maker, but she never has to call the dog anything: he’s super obedient towards her.

Fighting wasn’t as hard as in origins, i like that.

The haunted house mission was so cool.

When random people greet aveline in Hightown.

And that’s i think about it. There are probably plenty more things i loved, but i think this is already enough. if somebody told me i’d be playing so much this year, i’d laugh, but I already want to play the next game ;;___;;

[kumeko]

A/N: For the Waterlily Zine! I wanted to do a Pirates of the Caribbean inspired fic for these two.

Summary: It’d be easier to get angry at the hardass, stubborn pirate who saved her if she also weren’t so goddamn attractive.

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“You okay?”

 “…you just slap…”

 “That’s not how you…”

 Perfuma swam in and out of consciousness, picking up words here and there as two people talked next to her. Her maids, most likely, though she couldn’t remember hiring a maid with such a gruff voice. Maybe her mother did, in an attempt to get her out of bed on time for once. “’m up,” she mumbled, her tongue dry like the sandy beaches of her summer home.

 “Oh! You’re alive!” The gruff voice got closer and before Perfuma could open her eyes, two strong arms wrapped around her. “That’s great!”

 “You idiot.” The second person clicked her tongue, her voice as sharp as coral. “We already knew that much.”

 Cracking her eyes open, Perfuma was greeted by a hairy chest. A very hairy chest. She snapped her eyes shut. It’s okay, this was just a dream. Or her imagination. Or her father. A very hairy version of her father. Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes again. The hairy chest was inches from her nose and even cross-eyed, this wasn’t her father.

“AHHHHH!” Perfuma screamed, pushing the stranger away and tumbling out of his arms onto the hard, wooden ground. Quickly, she scrambled to her feet. “Who—where—”

 “Woah!” Still sitting on his butt, the strange man held his hands in front of him in a calm down motion. Now that she could see him properly, he looked older than she was, with a thick moustache on his lips. Or as her mother could call it, a caterpillar. He wore a palette of browns and whites, loose-fitting clothes that did little to hide his torso. “It’s okay, little lady.”

 “Is it?” Beside him was young woman similarly dressed, though her clothes were all blue instead. She crossed her copper-brown arms and raised a brow. “This is a complete waste of time.”

 They were complete strangers. And this was definitely not her bedroom. The ground below her rocked gently and Perfuma turned her head with wide eyes. All around them was a dark blue sea and she was on a boat. A boat. Spinning back to her captors, she noticed they had swords on their hips. She took a step back.  “Did you kidnap me?”

 “Kidnap?” The man stood up quickly, shaking his head. “No, no, you got us all wrong. We saved you.” When Perfuma stared blankly, he scratched his chin. “From the water? You were drowning? Does that not ring a bell?”

 “Well…” Trailing off, Perfuma scrunched her face as she tried to remember. Her mother had arranged for a cruise, she remembered vaguely. It was to be a nice break from the heat of summer, with only Perfuma and her maids and a skeleton crew commanding a pleasure craft. Second day in, there’d been a storm. “I think—”

 “Does she look like she has any bells to ring? With that getup?” the woman scoffed, examining her nails. “And I think I chipped a nail. Should have just let her drown.”

 “What?” Perfuma glanced at her clothing, which, now that she was paying attention to it, was kinda wet and clingy. Her bright green dress, the latest fashion in her kingdom, was completely ruined. She could barely make out the embroidered flowers. “What’s wrong with this outfit?”

 Before the woman could say anything, the man stepped forward. “Now, now, this isn’t the time to fight. I am the dashing Sea Hawk, handsome gentleman pirate extraordinaire. And this is my lovely captain, Mermista.”

 Mermista turned to him, disgusted. “Do you have to introduce yourself like that? Every time? No wonder we’re never taken seriously.”

 “Huh?” Sea Hawk stumbled back, shock on his face. He slowly turned to Perfuma. “Did you like my intro?”

 “I…” He was looking at her with puppy eyes and Perfuma had never been good with pleading. Rubbing her wrist, she smiled awkwardly. “It’s…interesting.”

 “The words you use when you have nothing nice to say,” Mermista drawled. Hand on her hip, she gave him a pointed look. “I don’t know why I keep you.”

 “Love,” Sea Hawk declared dramatically, his curled hand raised in front of him.

 “Yeah, no.” With a strangled cry, Sea Hawk crumpled to his knees. Ignoring the mess, Mermista rolled her eyes and turned to Perfuma. “We should toss her overboard.”

 “What?” Perfuma gaped. There was no way anyone could be that heartless, to save someone and then leave them to die. “You can’t do that!”

 Raising a brow, Mermista cocked her head. “I can—”

 “We cannot leave a young lady in distress!” Furiously shaking his head, Sea Hawk rose once more, forgetting his previous defeat. He wrapped an arm around Mermista’s shoulders and smiled winningly. “We shall save her.”

 “What?” Mermista recoiled, but try as she might, she couldn’t pry his hands off her shoulder. Finally giving up, she sighed. “Fine.” She glared at Perfuma, poison in her voice. “But you’re working. We’re not a charity.”

 “That’s—work?” Perfuma blinked, her smile strained. “I haven’t really—my maids usually…”

 “Maids?” Mermista snorted derisively. “Well, Princess, I guess you’ll learn it now.”

 -x-

 “Urp.” Perfuma covered her mouth as she ran to the side of the boat. She had already vomited three times this morning, what was there even left to hurl? Maybe her body was just going to toss out her stomach for good measure.

 “Again?” Behind her, she could hear a solid thud as something hit the ground, followed by the sound of footsteps. Soon after, Sea Hawk was by her side, a heavy hand was on her back, gently rubbing. “Do you even have any food in there?”

 “My thoughts exactly.” Perfuma bit out, clenching her teeth as she tried to fight down the nausea. It was completely unfair how unfazed Hawkeye looked. “How long does it take to get used to this?”

 “Well, uh…” Sea Hawk rubbed his neck awkwardly. “I’ve never been seasick. Neither has Mermista. Um. Hmm. Maybe a few days?”

 “A few days?” It was a mistake to yell, she could feel it rushing up her throat. Quickly, she leaned over the rails.

 “Woah.” Reacting just as fast, he pulled back her hair. “The sea is a tough mistress, and you...urp.” Sea Hawk covered his mouth, turning away. “You just…” He swallowed hard and scrambled away from the rails. “I’ll wait till your done. Second-hand vomit. Oh god.”

 “Weakling.” Perfuma didn’t have to look to know Mermista was rolling her eyes again. It was all the woman ever did—how those eyes hadn’t rolled right out of her skull, she wasn’t sure. “And you, you’re supposed to be cleaning, not making a mess.”

 “Sorry.” Finally done, Perfuma slumped down against the rails. Suddenly she understood why people kissed the ground after getting off a ship. She’d never go on a boat again. Ever.

 “Whatever.” Mermista picked up the abandoned mop and held it out to Sea Hawk. “Take over. I need this deck swabbed yesterday.”

 “Of course!” Sea Hawk patted Perfuma one last time on the back before grabbing the mop. “You’ll see your reflection when I’m done!”

 “It’s wood,” Mermista muttered, but Sea Hawk was already charging down the deck, humming brightly. Turning back to Perfuma, she dangled a small, glass bottle. “Here.”

 “What?” Blinking in confusion, Perfuma stared at the brown bottle. Inside, she could make out the vague shapes of pills. “These are?”

 “It’ll settle your stomach.” Impatiently, she grabbed Perfuma’s hand and curled her fingers around the bottle. “Take one and get some rest.”

 Perfuma’s eyes widened and she turned to Mermista in surprise. “For me?”

 Mermista curled a tendril of her hair around her finger. “Yeah, can’t have you—”

 “Thanks!” Overcome, Perfuma engulfed her in her arms, hugging her tightly. For a moment, she forgot all about her upset stomach. “This is…thank you so much!”

 “Huh?” Mermista stiffened, but she didn’t pull away. “Uh…yeah. No problem.”

 -x-

 “Like this?” Perfuma asked hesitantly, pushing the mop across the deck, from the aft to the port. Or was it port to aft? Despite the list of terms Sea Hawk and Mermista barraged her with, she hadn’t fully memorized them.

 “Kinda.” Sea Hawk gave a troubled smile, rubbing the back of his neck. “You really are a rich girl, huh?”

 “Yes.” With a sigh, she leaned against the mop. Honestly, it had all seemed so simple. Push a mop across a deck. She’d seen her maids do it a thousand times. “What did I forget now?”

 “Put a little more pressure on it.” Gently taking the mop out of her hands, he demonstrated. “Like so. And then put the mop back in, rinse and squeeze.”

 “Right.” Perfuma watched him with wide, unblinking eyes, trying to commit it all to memory. Between dishwashing and cleaning and cooking (at least, until Mermista determined it was a waste of ingredients), she wished she had a notebook or something to write this all down.

 “Then you—”

 Mermista appeared at his side, grabbing the mop from his hands. “Would you stop doing her work for her? I’m not paying you to clean.” She shot him a withering glare. “Get back to the bridge before we lose yet another ship.”

 “Yet another?” Perfuma repeated, bemused. That didn’t sound good. And she was relying on them to get her home too. “How many ships have you lost?”

 “The Dragon’s Daughter 1 to 5,” Sea Hawk began, his voice grave. A hand clawed at his chest. “Their tales are a tragic one.”

 “Which we will not repeat because I’m also not paying you for that.” Mermista pushed the mop handle into Perfuma’s hand. “Now get to work. I’m tired of redoing it.”

 “I’ve been getting better!” Perfuma grumbled, half a mind to toss the mop back at Mermista. Instead, she aggressively pushed it. “I don’t break any dishes anymore and—wait, what do you mean redoing it?” Perfuma paused, realizing the implication behind those words.

 So when her half-clean dishes came out gleaming and her sopping deck dried quickly, it hadn’t been a coincidence. “I thought Seahawk…”

 Mermista coloured slightly. “Yeah, well, I’m the captain. I have to make sure the job’s done.”

 Well, Perfuma kind of expected that response—despite how she acted, Mermista was pretty responsible.

 She just didn’t think Mermista wouldn’t insult her or complain to her about it.

 -x-

 The cool night air hit Perfuma as she headed topside, leaving the berths behind. Topside, berth, words she never even knew existed before now. Yet after several weeks at sea, she now could identify each part of the ship with its correct nautical name. Even the gentle rocking of the boat, the waves lapping at the side of the ship, no longer fazed her and perhaps she had finally gained her sea legs after all.

 “Why’re you awake?”

 Perfuma tried not to frown as she heard a familiar, caustic voice above her. Of course, Mermista was on duty. Looking up, she squinted in the darkness, barely able to see the faint shape of Mermista as she sat on the crow’s nest. On a moonless night, she couldn’t make her out from the stars. “Just needed some fresh air.”

 For once, there were no sharp jabs, no insulting one-liners. Just silence. Perfuma stared up curiously, not expecting this at all. The wooden boards creaked and groaned as she shuffled backwards, trying to get a better look at her captain.

 “Feeling seasick?” Mermista finally asked, and though Perfuma couldn’t point her finger at it, there was something softer about her tone.

 “No.” She rubbed her arms, warding off the chill.

 “That’s good.”

 Perfuma squinted, wishing there was a lamp up there or the sun would just rise or anything, really, so she could see Mermista’s expression right then. “Can I come up?”

 She covered her mouth immediately, but it was too late, the question was out there. It lingered in the air for a long beat before Mermista quietly answered, “Sure.”

 Before either of them could change their mind, Perfuma hoisted herself up the rigging. Her hands were tougher than they used to be, stronger, and where before this would have been an impossible feat, Perfuma found she could easily scale the ropes and beams that led to the crow’s nest. That led to Mermista, who had shuffled to the side, leaving an empty spot next to her for Perfuma to sit. “Not afraid of heights?”

 “Not anymore.” Gingerly, Perfuma sat down, keeping a small distance between them. Suddenly, she felt shy, their proximity too close. She rested her hand beside her, curling it into the wooden planks. “I can’t really see the ground anyways, in the dark.”

 Mermista chuckled roughly. “True. Maybe I should force you up here in the morning.”

 “Do it,” Perfuma dared, feeling a little braver now. “I’ll climb.”

 “I bet you would, Princess.”

 It was strange. She used to bristle at that old insult. Used to clench her teeth and swear under her breath a thousand revenges. But that was Mermista’s game, her barbs and thorns half there for show, and now Perfuma could make out the smile in her voice, the blunted edge of her words. Just as she’d gotten used to the sea salt air that permeated in everything, the constant sway of the ship at even the calmest waters.

 In the darkness, if she reached out, if she grabbed Mermista’s hands, she wondered what she’d say.

 -x-

 “Huh.” Mermista stared down at the deck, cocking her head. After a few seconds, she scanned the entire deck, still looking surprised.

 Holding the mop tight in her hands, Perfuma swallowed. The wood gleamed in the sun, still slightly slick from the mopping Perfuma done. Even the stray ropes were all neatly coiled. Nothing was left for chance and for once, Perfuma was certain she’d done it all properly. Probably. Hopefully. “Is that a good ‘huh’ or a bad one?”

 “Well, you did your job, so good.” Mermista looked down again, tapping her foot against the floor. It was hard to see her expression as her hair curled around her face. “I mean, you should have done this from the start, but whatever.”

 “Can’t you just compliment someone directly?” Perfuma rolled her eyes. She couldn’t resist smiling though—it had taken weeks, but she’d finally gotten Mermista’s approval.

 Mermista crossed her arms, raising a brow. Incredulous, she asked, “Are you talking back to me?”

 “Maybe.” Perfuma grinned brightly, leaning against the mop. She sent a challenging look back. “Is that a problem?”

 Mermista fell silent, just staring at her. For a long moment, Perfuma feared she had said the wrong thing, had crossed a line too far. Maybe she’d misread the mood last night or even the one right now. Her mind ran in circles, replaying each word exchanged, and oh god, she must have said something wrong. Something—

 “Not really.” Mermista turned around, heading toward the steering wheel. She glanced over her shoulder, her lips curled into smirk. “I like problems.”

 Perfuma could feel her jaw drop as Mermista continued without another word. Her cheeks burned a dark red and oh dear.

 Oh dear.

 She might be falling for a pirate.

 Her mother was going to kill her.

[innately-pretentious]

I'd love a preference for how Harry, Ron, Hermione, Luna and Neville would react if they were asked aksed to a dance or school ball (by a Slytherin if that isn't too much detail) + if you do preferences for the marauders then those and Lily too. Thank you so much!! I love everything I have seen from you so far

I’m gonna split it up if you don’t mind! I’ll include the golden trio era and then the marauders a bit later.

Asking them to a Yule Ball would include:

Harry Potter

• Harry has been a bit preoccupied with the Triwizard Tournament, meaning that he has definitely missed the cut off time to ask a girl to the Yule Ball. 

• Until you are paired with him in one of your potions classes. 

• You have liked him for quite a while, but have never really had the guts to ask him out, until now!

• You say in in such a casual way, really taking him off guard. He blurts out yes a little too fast, resulting in the two of you giggling. 

• He gets ready relatively quick, however, he will redo his hair at least five times. Somehow it just never fell in the ‘right’ way. 

• He shoos Ron and Hermione away, leaving himself alone with his anxieties. 

• He is pacing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for you to arrive, his hands are slightly shaking. He is wondering if he would rather battle a dragon than risk embarrassing himself in front of you!

• The two of you obviously have to dance before anyone else, which slightly puts your nerves on edge. 

• After seeing how nervous Harry is, the two of you laugh about it, promising to pick the other up if the fall in front of everyone!

• After the first dance you two literally breathe a sigh of relief, now the two of you can enjoy the rest of your night in peace. 

• You favourite moment was witnessing his horrible dance moves as he spins you under his arm when the live band come on!

• When the Ball is finally over you two are still laughing and giggling together, all the way up the stairs. 

• He pauses for a moment outside of your room, debating whether or not to kiss you (he of course gives in and does!), he asks if you would like to sit next to him in your potions class tomorrow morning, so he can get to know you even more. 

Ron Weasley

• He has no idea that anybody would ask him to the dance, when you approach him he is completely knocked off guard!

• He nearly can’t reply! His response is a mix of stuttering and a weak ‘Yeah, um, I-I’d love to!’

• A bit taken aback you start to second guess as you walk away, your fears are muted as soon as you hear him jump up and down with excitement as you leave!

• He is too busy stressing about his horrific dress robes, that he almost arrives late! He is running around his dorm repeating the word fuck as he shoves his feet into some shoes. 

• When he sees you he literally cannot take his eyes away! He is so excited he gets to go with you on his arm. 

• He tries to apologise for his ‘antique’ dress robes, however, you assure him that you really don’t care what he is wearing!

• Fred and George are absolutely astounded that he managed to get a date, they will tease the two of you for some of the evening, and share side glances while you are dancing!

• He is a surprisingly apt dancer, even if he dips the wrong way or misplaces his foot, you reassure him that it’s fine!

• He opens up as the evening goes on. Dancing together in front of the live band, giggling and moving like idiots. 

• He is so upset when people begin to leave, you promise him that you will have to hang out again sometime in the near future. 

• He obviously drops you off at your dorm room, perhaps stealing a kiss or two along the way!

Hermione Granger

• She is already a head strong and confident girl so I can only imagine that she asked you first! Which of course you had no trouble agreeing to. 

• She asked you one day while you were studying in the library, on the opposite bench to her. She took a deep breath and walked up to you, asking if you had a date and whether or not she could accompany you! 

• She was holding her breath with rose tinted cheeks while she waited for your answer, only letting out her breath when you confirmed. 

• She spends hours trying to get her makeup exactly right, calling on Harry and Ron to check on her final look to make sure it is up to standard. 

• By the shocked looks on their faces, she finally agrees that she is ready. 

• When she sees you however, she is gobsmacked, thinking you look so much better than herself. You reassure her that you wouldn’t want her looking any other way!

• Throughout the evening she keeps an eye out for Harry and Ron, who keep giving her subtle thumbs up from across the ballroom. She thinks you can’t see. Ron is painfully obvious. 

• Dancing with her is a dream. During the ballroom dancing you both take turns leading each other. 

• But, when the band starts playing, you both dash to the dance floor and dance like idiots!

• When the night is over she literally can’t stop smiling. She has never laughed so much with another person, she makes you promise to go with her on her next trip to Hogsmeade so you two can finish where you left off!

Neville Longbottom

• Oh boy he is such a sweetheart, he has literally been planning this for months! However, one thing was missing. He had forgotten to actually find someone to go with. 

• That is until you approach him one afternoon and confidently invite him to go with you as your date! 

• He goes bright red and lets out a small ‘yes’! And after you leave he spends a good minute wondering if it was real, until he dashes off to his room to try and practise his dance moves. 

• When the day finally comes, you better believe he has been up at the crack of dawn, stressing about the whole thing. Getting ready five hours before it actually begins, just to be sure!

• He also arrives super early to ensure that he is there before you. He has run through the evening in his head about a thousand times, but nothing could prepare him for seeing you emerge from the hallway and down the stairs. 

• You literally have to pick his jaw up off the floor! 

• He is such a gentleman, always asking if you need a refill on your drink, or if you want to dance. 

• When yo make it to the dance floor, you are amazed by the way he can lead. Everyones eyes are on the two of you as he pulls out moves you would have never expected!

• You leave a little bit early to hang out in the astronomy tower, watching the stars together, leaning your head on his shoulder. 

• He notices you getting tired and offers to walk you back to your dorm. Before you go in he steals a chaste kiss, unable to look you directly in the eyes afterwards!

• You find him the next day and make plans to study together in the library that afternoon, to carry on from where you left off last night!

Luna Lovegood

• She has never really put a lot of though into the Yule Ball, however, that all changed when you decided to ask her to go with you. 

• You found her whilst on one of her walks through the forbidden forest. You offered her a bunch of wild flowers and asked if she would like to join you. 

• At first she was a little disappointed, she though you meant as friends, but one you clarified that you wanted her there are your date, she was over the moon!

• She asked if you wanted to get ready together, which you didn’t mind at all. In fact you had a great time doing each others makeup and complimenting her dress. 

• She has a sort of eccentric style, and offers to braid some flowers in your hair before the two of you leave, which were the same flowers you presented to her the previous week. Which you happily agree to!

• She is very independent and doesn’t mind what people think of her, so the two of you have no problem goofing off! Dancing wildly in the middle of the dance floor, ignoring the looks you get from your fellow peers, only focusing on each other. 

• She spend the majority of the evening with stars in her eyes looking at you. 

• An hour or two before the ball ends, she asks if you would like to take one last walk around the courtyard. 

• You end up staying there fore well over an hour, sitting on the stone bench with your hands intertwined, talking about anything and everything. 

• You keep your hands interlocked until she has walked you back to your dorms, she raises your hand to her lips and kisses it good night, promising to meet you in the forest tomorrow afternoon. 

[yoolee]

So I ended up in a difficult position. I was so stressed over everything going on, I struggled to focus on my last few assessments for my last year of degree. I have a feeling I failed and was told I can redo only the failed assessment free of charge, but next August. I’m just beating myself up over my struggle to cope, but what could I do over the year I wait for August? It’s just two essays I would write and hand over. Find work? Get work experience? Anything else?

Consider setting something on fire. It’s surprisingly cathartic, but also, do it in an empty parking garage with a fire extinguisher on hand that you know how to use, and make sure there are no security cameras or a lot of wind. Also??? Smashing glass bottles with a baseball bat? Very cathartic, but wear goggles and thick gloves and layers of padding.

BUT ALSO. 

Don’t give up hope! It ain’t over until it’s over.

2. Go easy on yourself - We’re in an absolute shit show of a year. It’s BRUTAL. And yeah, some folk seem to be doing okay, and it’s exhausting and stressful to watch them sailing through the storm when it feels like your ship is sinking – but they may have a bigger crew helping them out. They may have had just enough headwind to give them the headstart. They may have a big ass leak they’re just really good at hiding. Your boat may have already been battered going into this, and it may have been okay if there hadn’t been a GD HURRICANE when all anyone was expecting was some light rain. Point being – don’t judge yourself against how others are presenting themselves right now. For one, I’m pretty sure everyone has had at least one behind the scenes breakdown, and two, your worth is not defined by your productivity during a global pandemic, societal unrest, social isolation, and any additional situational stress (mental health, family trouble, financial strain, uncertainty, chronic health issues) you’re juggling at the same time.

Shit you’re HERE.

You DID the assessments.

Do you know what a win that is?

IF you fail –  then 

3.1: it’s gonna be okay. It is. You have an IRONCLAD explanation if anyone asks you about it later in life (which, gonna guess people will see the year and rather than ask ‘why the gap’ will go ‘2020 – ah, yeah.’ And move on) which is, 2020.

And uh. This is another one of Lee’s kinda shady but it works notes but also please don’t use it unless it’s true? The best explanation you can give for a gap on your resume is caring for a relative. I’m not saying you should ever lie about this, because, seriously, outright lies WILL COME BACK TO BITE YOUR ASS. I AM saying that this is something every employer, every recruiter, and every empathetic human being understands. I’m also saying that if you phrase it as “My family and I were pretty heavily impacted by the pandemic, and academics had to take a second priority to getting back on our feet.” Then people will assume the former, even if what you mean is – my mental health took a hit, and my academics took a hit while I got back on my feet. It’s just a more societally acceptable way to phrase it that lets folks assume and fill in the blanks to their own experiences in a way that will generate sympathy. IT’S A LIL DICEY THOUGH so don’t bust it out unless you have to.

 3.2 Talk to the department/school/test agency – ask if there is an exception to the retake wait this year due to the additional burden of the pandemic. It NEVER hurts to ask (and ask AGAIN – you got an answer from one person, ask someone else in a different position of authority or a different department). Ask if there is an alternate way to meet the requirement that you could work towards (some programs allow an exam in place of a thesis project, the reverse could be feasible). Ask what ALL the options are, and what they would recommend.

3.3 This is gonna sound. Asininely artsty fartsy I suppose but – embrace the year if it comes to that. It never hurts to get work experience, because it often comes with funding and that’s always nice, but also see if your profs have any TA positions or RA positions if you want to stay in the academic space, or if they don’t, ask other departments in the gen eds (I was able to TA as an undergrad this way). It’s kinda hard for me to suggest a path without knowing the details of your degree or the assessment, so apologies!

Hang in there, nonny. The good news is, humans are weirdly and fantastically adaptable. If this is our new normal, you WILL find yourself better able to cope with it as it goes on. That’s another reason why some peers may seem on top of things - their pace of processing is just different (and there are a thousand reasons why that may be, none of which are personal failings on your part so much as they are societal influences and structures and experiences that do not hit equally).

The hedonistic treadmill is often invoked to explain why good things stop pleasing us after awhile - but it works in reverse. Really shitty things eventually start sucking less. 

[1dsongpreferencess]

48: FALLING - HARRY STYLES (HIS P.O.V.)

HARRY

"I'm in my bed

 And you're not here

 And there's no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands."

I didn’t want to wake up, the apartment feels empty without her even when her stuff is still here. She just messaged me, she’s coming today to pick up her things. I can’t help but feel my throat dry and I ended up drinking whiskey at 9 am, it hurts a little but not as much as the idea of she finally leaving me. And I wish I could say it’s her fault but if our relationship it’s over it’s because of me. She gave me too many chances and I wasted every single one of them. She can’t see me like this, so I decide to take a shower and try to look ok. She knocks the door even though she still has keys and I let her come in. She’s not alone, she came with her best friend so I guess she’s staying with him. We don’t say much and Y/BFF/N starts to pick up the boxes. Suddenly she looks at me with tender but still really serious. “Here are the keys” She says as she takes my hand and puts the keys on them, our hands touch but she reacts fast and stops the touching. “Can we talk, y/n? Please, we can’t be over, not like this” I replied she doesn’t look at my eyes and says “It’s too late Harry. Let’s not make things any harder” but her voice breaks a little. Y/BFF/N interrupts the conversation letting her know he’s done with the boxes, he looks at me politely and says goodbye. I look at y/n and this time she meets my eyes with tears on hers. “Goodbye Harry”  she says and doesn’t let me reply. Suddenly I’m alone again with another drink on my hand. She’s gone for good and I can’t help but think that I’ve lost the love of my life. 

NIALL

“Forget what I said

 It's not what I meant

 And I can't take it back

 I can't unpack the baggage you left”

The worst thing about drinking too much is not being able to think before you act. I wish I could take back everything I did last night. I’ve called y/n more than 20 times and she was declined all of them and to be honest If I was her I would do the same. I can’t believe I treated her that way, she didn’t deserve to be called a “cheater” I misunderstood the situation believing she was flirting with one of his friends, who I know realize is gay because his boyfriend was also there, and I made a huge scene in front of her friends who used to really like me. I called my best friend to have some guidance about the issue and now she’s mad at me too but she’s trying to help because she knows how much I love y/n. “She took my call, but Ni she’s really upset and doesn’t want to see you. She says she doesn’t recognize that actions in someone like you and I don’t know if she can forgive you” my best friend said and I really started to freak out. What if she never forgives me? I needed to do something so I went to his place and she almost didn’t let me in. “What do you want?” she said as she opened the door. “I need to apologize love” I said trying to get in. “Do you really think an apologies would do?” she replied angrily. “It’s a beginning,” I said to her. “Please, let’s talk” I kept talking sitting on her sofa. She was in front of me with his arms crossed. As I keep talking she was getting less mad. I knew I couldn’t redo the past but I would do everything I could for a better future. And well, the first thing after she forgiving me was winning her friends again.

LIAM

“You said you cared

 And you missed me, too”

After 2 months of our break up with y/n I finally had the guts to go to our favorite restaurant because I was really craving that food and at least that made me feel a little bit close to her. Funny thing that was the same day she decided to be brave. And suddenly we were at the same restaurant. I loved how carefree she was, when she saw me she couldn’t help but laugh and I did the same because it was funny that we still were that connected. The usual waitress smiled at us and put us in our usual table and we didn’t refuse since we were both alone. At the beginning it was awkward but as time passed by it almost felt like we were having a date. “I’ve missed you so much, y/n and I know I shouldn’t say this but sitting here with you make me feel like a fool for letting you go” I said nervously. She took my hand and said “I’ve missed you too Li. It feels so good talking to you. But… We both made mistakes and I’m not sure we can recover from that” she replied smiling softly. “But what if we try? The both of us being here today cannot be a coincidence and we might regret not giving it one more chance” I said excitedly. She went silent for 5 seconds that felt like a thousand years. “Ok, let’s do it but slowly” she replied and I couldn’t help but kiss her and there she was kissing me back.

LOUIS

“And it kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say”

I loved my son, so much. Knowing that I was going to spend the weekend with him made me really happy but not as happy as seeing y/n even if it was for a couple of minutes. It’s been one month since I wasn’t living with them. We have been married for the past 9 years and we were so happy together, and our son makes things better but as time passed by we started to become strangers until it felt like we had nothing to say to each other and I couldn’t help but decided to leave the house for some time believing that might help. As I approached the door of our house to pick up Luke, I saw him across the window getting excited. He opened the door and run towards me. “Daddyyyy, you’re finally here” he said as he hugged me. y/n went out to say hi. She looked as beautiful as we started dating 13 years ago. She tried to smile but I knew she was sad. I gave her a huge hug and while Luke was picking up the things for the weekend I decided to talk with her and as she saw me getting close she said “Are you ever coming home?” not looking at me, trying to hide the fact she was dying to know. “I am, y/n. But do you really want me to?” she got mad and said “I didn’t kick you out, I never wanted you to leave Louis. When we got married I made a vow to you that I’m willing to keep for the rest of my life. I’m not sure if you are willing to do the same” and my heart broke a little because I did want to be with her but we will have to work on it. Luke was ready and excited to go so the conversation went on hold. That night I decided I had to prove her I was going to love her for the rest of my life, and I was ready to come home to fight for our marriage.

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH THAT WHEN I HEARD IT TODAY I FELT THE NEED TO WRITE THIS :)