#and if i could
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Anyway it's been.
#pretty pathetic#as always#and if I could#I'd give it up#for some of#nothingness#cause there won't be anything waiting for me#in the other direction#ever#wither#away
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I have never met you in real life BUT boy do you feel like my friend <3
uhhhhh obvi that's because we are, babe 💁🏻♀️✨
#i'm sending you all my love#and if i could#i'd be sending you a matching bff bracelet#feel free to ask me about anything!!#asks
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compliments from girls go hard
#comic#the girly girls are girling girling#this one popped off on twitter and there are SOOOO many wonderful positive comments about shared experiences omg#anyway lmao this happened at a friends birthday and we spent so long trying to find out who this was#all i remembered was “petite/shorter than me / nice hair / one could define her style as ”pinterest coquette“ lmao
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i’m gonna cry it’s raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldn’t have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an “adult” task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about
#icarus speaks#they were so cute 😭#i cannot emphasize how large the umbrella was compared to them#and the parents looked as happy as u could be while being rained on too#like it was clear they didn’t mind that much bc the kid was so happy#i love kids so much they’re so everything#containment breach
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I DONT WANNA PAY BILLS I WANNA USE MY MONEY FOR FOOD AND LIL GIFTS FOR MYSELF AND MY LOVED ONES
#og#imagine how much happier my life could be right now if i could use the $200+ i gotta spend on bills#on literally anything else right now
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work all night on a drink of rum
daylight come and me wan go home
stack banana til the morning come
daylight come and me wan go home
come mr tallyman tally me banana
daylight come and me wan go home
come mr tallyman tally me banana
daylight come and me wan go home
lift six foot seven foot eight foot bunch
daylight come and me wan go home
six foot seven foot eight foot bunch
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say day
me say day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
a beautiful bunch of ripe banana
daylight come and me wan go home
hide the deadly black tarantula
daylight come and me wan go home
lift six foot seven foot eight foot bunch
daylight come and me wan go home
six foot seven foot eight foot bunch
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say day
me say day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
come mr tallyman tally me banana
daylight come and me wan go home
come mr tallyman tally me banana
daylight come and me wan go home
dayo
dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say day
me say day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
#someone suggested i turn off reblogs. to that i say. i’m not a fucking quitter#esp when i get to see my husband dancing in my notifs every time this gets a note#since this reached 30k notes i wanted to say that people in the notes saying you shouldn’t feel safe around horses are right#story time :) when i was very little i got kicked in the face by a horse.#obviously this is very dangerous and i could have been concussed but there was no bleeding or bruising or no teeth knocked out#so my family didn’t believe me and even tried to convince me that it never happened at all. accused me of lying about it#it was specifically my grandma (who i realized much later in life was extremely emotionally abusive) who insisted i was lying.#but i remember it clearly. i know that it happened. i know that it struck my front teeth and knocked me to the ground#and i have never felt safe around horses since <3 or my family actually#ahem. i always felt safe around my grandparents. ‘‘not anymore’’ said knife grandma#are you still reading this?#reality is an illusion the universe is a hologram#you just lost the game#speaking of loss#|#|/#||#|_
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I was inspired
#gravity falls#book of bill#ford pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#dipper pines#Mason pines#billford#I guess you could call him my muse heh *inserts that one tiktok smug emoji*#no ford is not referring to twink bill it’s literally just triangle bill#the family reunion is gonna be a lot more awkward now
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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.
the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.
i had like, fifteen raw eggs.
i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.
except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.
so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.
#i feel a kinship with that snake#would that i could be a simple tube#and eat my fill of eggs#but being a person is rather nice too#my wife is a saint#and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy#but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college#and i deserved to just go a little insane#you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs
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god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait
#executive dysfunction#shitpost#every day I get stuck in waiting mode for SO LONG and SO MANY TIMES#that one time I tried adhd meds it fixed it but then I. was like no I am going to be scared and not continue taking it <3#and also. I simply did not like the psychologist and did not want to have to go back#so. rawdogging the world <3#man if I could start a task right now...then you'd see...then you'd all see....
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You know what, Etsy? Sure
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Posting this everywhere til im not obsessed with it anymore
#not tagging because it will find its audience#also choleric sullen boy could lay seige give him a chance#anyway if i had to pick fictional characters id make this isabela and anders
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school project, some drawings for my pretend game about a housefly girl called musca and her adventures in some creepy&wet place
#my art#mine#sorry for long post#i have extra stuff i could include but i don't want to blast everyones dash#musca#oubliette
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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off
EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through
#art#i had to block multiple people because of this post and i easily could have blocked more#do you guys have any idea how exhausting it is to hear 400 people make the exact same unfunny joke each thinking they're being original#or worry that another person might get harassed over a post i made because of the way people are talking about them#or be harassed/insulted YOURSELF because some people don't know how to fucking behave#you guys don't get reblogs back. you should be grateful i'm leaving the post up at all.
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had a real life "and everybody clapped" moment and im still reeling. spent the rest of the ride comparing butterfly pics with the old lady next to me trying to identify it
#this was a little while ago and im. why do these things happen to me#clickity autobio#autobio comic#comics#u will notice my bag disappears halfway thru this comic#this is bc i put it and my coat on the goddamn floor of the tube#so i could jump around like a ninny without smacking anyone in the face#hall of shame
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people are saying do it scared, but you also gotta do it alone. you'll miss out on so much you want to do if you wait til someone will do it with you. do it scared and do it alone.
#missed out on a whole year I could have skated at my local roller rink because I didn't want to go alone#and now it's closed and I won't ever get that year back. sometimes you gotta do it alone if you want to do something
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