#and if i can't my brain will just form it's own picture based on the general description and fill in the blanks

[cassianandfenrysaremyboyos]

It has come to my attention that some people don't visualise when they read which is so fascinating to me, who pictures everything, the characters, their clothes, the locations, the rooms they're in ect

[batboyblog]

Interesting thing to consider regarding our situation from Magdi Jacobs. She’s been fairly levelheaded so far about all this. The Pandemic really did change us all and how we perceive things.

The constant stressful vigilance we all needed during the pandemic is still in effect from that era, and that’s why there’s such a disconnect between what we see and feel as true:

https://x.com/magi_jay/status/1812531377184653581?s=46&t=9ilK5pqP73XDblTtTbb4Qg

I don't disagree with her, and I know for a fact she also agrees with what I have to say here:

Covid is part of it, maybe it is its own thing, maybe it super charged something that had been happening in slow-mo before

but I think algorithmic social media is breaking all our brains and Covid locked SO many of us inside with it for a year and a half or so where our only "human" contact was through social media and that was NOT helpful

There's lots of studies about social media and anxiety and depression, we know algorithms intentionally put stories/posts that upset you into your feed, we know that social media causes negative polarization.

speaking just of my own experience on twitter over the last two weeks it really challenges your sense of reality, twitter very quickly forms a group think about a current event and it becomes overwhelming, also it destroys any sense of time and prospective, so nothing is allowed to just be bad it has to be THE WORST THING EVER! and from the debate and now Trump's fist pump after getting shot at everything is NOW! the election is not 4 months away with all the events that will take over the news, people are voting just this second and only based on this news story rn! AAHHHH!!! !

by its short form nature twitter makes it feel as if people are having a conversation with you, but your ability to reply and question their statements is limited and I think that makes for extreme anxiety if the group think challenges your understanding of events/reality. So Joe Biden had a bad debate night, sounded bad, looked bad, he was a sick, jet lagged, overworked, old man and looked and sounded like all of that. Oh well, but the group think quickly shifted to "this is the worst thing ever, he clearly has dementia!" and you were bombarded by that over and over, in more and more shrill and condescending tones. And it became very stress inducing because people were seeing something you didn't see and insisting "don't believe your eyes and ears! believe my hot takes!" and you felt like you were losing your mind.

This is one current event but this happens on social media all the time, twitter is bad, TikTok is worse.

I also think for "younger" (under 40?) people raised on reality TV, and more so instagram, Facebook, now TikTok picture and video based social media there's a, life as reality TV show quality, an unspoken performance and need to make our lives seem perfect for an unseen (and not real) audience, and also to be seen as having the right views, but living in quick sand where liking or using anything could become a problem at any point and having to keep up endlessly. I also think this is intensely anxiety producing and also just debilitating, I don't think you can DO anything good in the world with that mindset

final thought: I've said for awhile I think why you see so many people declaring the economy is bad, regularly saying its historically, Great Depression levels bad, when it is in fact really good, as near to full employment as we've ever had lots of great economic indicators is left over Covid trauma.

We all went through a scary, sad, upsetting time in our lives. But because we ALL did if nothing happened to you particularly, you didn't get hospitalized, don't have long Covid, no one you're close with died and you couldn't be there for them, it might feel like "nothing" happened. So people are reaching for a "logical" reason for that edgy, sad, nervous, upset, unhappy feeling they can't get rid of. Normally that comes from economic anxiety, fear of not having enough money, or losing a job etc. So many people are reporting that they think the national economy is terrible while saying they think they themselves are doing well, that their local or state economy (that they see an interact with) is doing good, while the nation is doing bad, somehow. People are spending like they're doing well as well, never had it so good, never felt so bad.

I suspect its because we're all still dealing with Covid feelings, and thanks to social media, the death of common spaces, political radicalization, we never really came together and drew a line under Covid, it just kinda sputtered out and we slowly went back to our lives like nothing happened.

[whiskeyskin]

Virgin Blood

Premise: Tav is sheltered royalty (based of one of my MANY Tav's romancing Astarion) taking the leap with our boyy at the Tiefling Party.

Astarion x fTav • M rating • Act 1

Smut, porn without plot, kissing, fingering, bloodplay, virign reader, Astarion being a kind and gentle boy, unsure/reassurance

1.4k words

(if anyone recognises this picture please comment so I can credit the artist! Can't find it on reverse search 🙈)

This has been lingering in my drafts for so long; it needs to be posted. Drabbled many, never posted.. so please enjoy my inaugural tumblr smut - how fitting that Astarion's my first.

•°•°•

With Vampiric, Elven fluidity, he hooks his leg under her own, parting her sensitive flesh to the night air. She bites her lip and begins to tremble, not just against chill of the night air but with the finality of her decision.

Tav's brow twitches and draws together, as a thousand thoughts swarm her mind, each new concern layered upon the other. A cacophony of voices buzz in her brain, painfully rising with every inch his hand moved towards her delicate, unplucked garden.

"Astarion?" Tav breathes shakily, trying and failing to rid her voice of worry.

"Yes, love?" He lilts softly as he gazes upon her naked and vulnerable form in the silvery moonlight.

Unsure of which question screams loudest in her head, Tav wills her bottom lip not to tremble.

"Will it hurt?" She whispers, failing miserably at keeping her eyes from filling.

His expression tenses, then relaxes as he cocks his head to the side, "Yes.. but only for a moment." He assures her, his eyes full of understanding.

Tav swallows and lets out a tight breath, both appreciating and hating his honesty.

"Your body will resist the intrution at first," he explains, bringing his hand from her inner thigh and raising it to cup her cheek, "your Hymen is there to protect you but gives up quite easily when coercied, especially by one as talented as me." His smile curls into a confident smirk, then it falls.

"There may be blood." He says matter of factly, Tav's eyes widen with fear, "not always, but it's a possibility," he rakes his fingertips against the roots of her hair, pushing it back and away from her face, sending small jolts of electricity through her scalp, "the losing of one's virginity isn't quite as fun for a woman."

He thumbs the worry lines that tighten at her brow till she wills them to ease under his cool touch. Tav grants him and herself a small smile.

"But I promise you," he begins, trailing his delicate hands down across her body, "Faithfully," his thumb catching her bottom lip, gently parting them, "That I shall make this as painless," his splayed palm glides down her sternum, playfully grazing the inner slope of her breasts, "and pleasurable as possible."

His touch ends just above her public bone. Her breath hitches as her body arches subconsciously to his touch. He props himself up on one elbow and presses a kiss to her lips.

"Do you trust me?" He asks, staring wholly into her soul with his piercing red eyes.

What breath is left in her lungs releases as she nods, "Yes."

Astarion smiles, then snakes his head into the crook her of neck, inhaling deeply. Tav tilts her head to grant him access out of pure instinct. He groans sensuously, the sound and feeling sending shudders of excitement through her.

"You smell amazing. Ever since I tasted your blood, you've taken over.. over every thought and fantasy my new freedom now allows," his graceful hand caresses over her mound, peering deeper and parting her embarrassingly slick folds.

Tav's nipples harden painfully as pleasure ripples through her body and shakes a gasp free from her throat.

Astarion's breath gives out slightly and she feels it against her taut neck but he recovers from his lapse of composure with finesse, his fingers expertly exploring the wetness between her legs.

"I'm going to thoroughly enjoy this." He groans into her ear.

Tav's hips twitch and buck of their own volition as Astarion gets to work, lavishing his attentions on her sweet and sensitive rosebud. The noise in her head falling away, the worries of the consequences of her actions this evening no longer causing her alarm.

"Do you like that, my darling?" He asks, his cheek pressed against her jawbone.

Tav nods, unable to form words. She's never experienced anything like this before. She's touched herself in the darkness of her chambers once the castle has gone to sleep but nothing in her nocturnal exploration of herself has ever come close to this.

His middle fingers coaxing her entrance in broad languid strokes, as his thumb flits over her clit in exquisite rhythm. His other hand softly tracing lines over her face and hairline, soothing her.

"Tell me." He whispers against the flesh of her neck.

She manages some garbled nonsense spliced with her moans as the pressure between her thighs builds.

A sweet, torturous ecstasy starts to fill her senses, seeping into every mental wound and insecurity she's been plagued with during her short human life.

Every empty word from her father, every cruel interaction with her step-mother, every royal duty, every expectation, every moment of her life planned down to the minute.

This wasn't the plan, this wasn't supposed to be the way she gave herself to someone. It wasn't her wedding night, it wasn't to some far off Prince, it wasn't to produce an heir.

It was.. freeing. It was.. for pleasure. It was.. dirty and erotic. It was..

"Tell me." He whispers against her, earnest this time, his breathing picking up speed too, as her orgasm quickly towered over the two of them.

"Yes, Astarion. It feels.. please.. Mm.. I.. can't.. I-," she tries to form words but struggles with clear thoughts. Her orgasm consuming her now, pulling her under and taking her over.

"Don't fight it, love. You want to come, you want to let go. Tell me how much you want to cum for me." He whispers against her, teeth grazing.

Tav tries to voice how wonderful she feels to him, how incredible he is and how much she wants this but a scream of pleasure dies in her throat as she comes hard around just the tips of his fingers.

"Ahhh.. ahhhh.. Astarion!" She finally manages as she falls apart in his embrace. Her hand shoots to the back of his head, grasping a handful of his hair, while other grips onto the forearm of the hand feeding her this pleasure, willing more of it.

She feels it slip deeper inside her, stroking her and fanning the flames of her orgasm higher. A jolt of pain shocks her and she cries out but it only adds to the ecstasy she feels as a second intense wave tears through her from deeper within. Astarion humphs out a strangled moan as his body holds her close, riding her orgasm like a lighthouse through a storm.

Writhing and jerking like a possessed beast, making sounds of pure abandon she has only ever heard from secret lovers in the royal gardens after dark. She gladly endures the powerful torrent of her climax, with Astarion to guide her, until her body is spent and exhausted on the forest floor.

There they lie in silence for a few moments, only the noise of their ragged breathing and the gentle sound of wind through the trees.

After several stunned moments, she feels Astarion's fingers slowly peel from inside her, the sensation strange and unfamiliar.

Tav finally blinks her eyes back into focus to see Astarion's fingers and palm coated in glossy, red blood.

Immediately feeling hideously embarrassed, she looks to him to apologise but pauses at the hunger in his eyes. His jaw locked tight as he bites together, keeping himself contained.

"Are-are you alright?" Tav asks uncertainly.

He doesn't answer, he simply stares at his bloodied hand, the muscles of his jaw flexing.

"I've.. I've seen this hundreds of times; the last blood of a Virgin but I've never been able to.. taste it." He swallows leaving his mouth agape. His eyes transfixed hungrily on his coated fingers, "Cazador would never let me experience it."

Tav looks on as the viscose mixture of her pain and pleasure slowly trails down his fingers, to dance across the back of his hand and pool in the crux of his palm.

A hot tumble starts in the pit of her aching belly and flushes up to the heady whirl of her brain. The way he looks so hungrily at the juices of her inner most part has her throat suddenly dry.

He's spoken of tasting her, her blood, but never like this.

Feeling bolstered from her sexual escapade Tav bites her lip and croons, "Cazador's not here. You're free to do whatever you'd like."

Astarion looks at her and his gaze pins her in place. Dark, hungry, wild eyes greet her. Sharp teeth glinting in the moonlight, begging to taste her.

"You're absolutely right," he smirks and flourishes his hand to his mouth, taking a pause to glance back at her, tilting his head and gesturing his fingers, "To your good health."

•°•°•

Y'all wanna read some more? 👀

[kydrogendragon]

Oooooh, Sex Professor Hob and/or Porn Star Hob, please!

Yesss, I love both of these honestly, so have snippets of both! I think, technically, these both came from asks on Gabe's blog. The Porn Star one was an older one at this point. I'll have to see about tracking down the links. Since these are longer, I'll shove them below a Read More.

Porn Star Hob:

"Dream?" Hob asks, eyes wide as he watches the King of Dreams and Nightmares slowly slide to his knees in front of Hob's naked form. A set of cool and pale hands rest on the dip of his hips, thumbs caressing the tan skin beneath. Before he can get another word out, Dream's warm tongue reaches out, licking up his length. He moans, hands darting forward to claw into Dream's shoulders. A few heads turn in the studio at the noise. Hob's cheeks warm, suddenly feeling more self-conscious than he ever has before in this line of work. "Dream, what are you—" "I would attend to you personally, if you are amenable," Dream says, the tip of Hob's cock resting on those pretty red lips as he stares up through his lashes. It's a sight that just about breaks him. His grip tightens, closing his eyes so he doesn't cum all over his lover's face right here and now and ruin the entire shoot. Though, if he's honest, Dream could probably get him hard within minutes again if he tried. Hob's pretty sure his body's become hardwired to respond to Dream and that damn smirk of his by this point. Taking a breath, Hob opens his eyes again. Dream sits, resting on his knees, still looking up at him with that intense gaze Hob loves so much. But he doesn't move further, clearly waiting for Hob's permission to continue. "I—God's wounds, Dream. Yeah, of course, I'm always amenable, but—" Hob licks his lips. "—I just can't cum yet." Dream smirks. "I am well aware of what this job I would take would entail, Hob Gadling." As if to ensure Hob believed him, Dream moves a hand from Hob's hip and circles his fingers around the base of his cock and squeezes. The pressure is perfect and taunting and Hob's beginning to fear for his sanity. Normally, the fluffer's that he worked with would either give him a simple handie or hold him in their mouths. It worked, kept him hard, but that was about it. With Dream here, now, looking like the porn industry's twinky wet dream—ha—yeah . . . Hob's fucked. He'll be lucky if he makes it through the rest of the shoot at this point.

Sex Professor Hob:

(For some context, this one features Ace Dream who's working through his own internalized acephobia [kinda] and Hob's his tutor [who also fucks his willing clients])

“Who's making you smile so much?” “It is no one.” ‘As you deserve too. You getting that cake you talked about?’ “No one my ass. You get a new girlfriend and not tell me?” Jessamy reaches for his phone, but he pulls it closer to his chest, ignoring the blush at his cheeks. “I am still quite single, thank you for the reminder.” He sighs, clicking the screen off. He will send Hob a picture once it is made as he promised. “It was just my history tutor. He sent me a picture of his cat.” Jessamy rolls her eyes and leans back into the seat. “Should have guessed it was a cat. Makes much more sense in hindsight.” Dream shoots her a look which does nothing but make her giggle. “Who're you seeing by the way? I've got that Early Asian history class on the docket next semester and I know I'll be desperately in need of help.” “His name is Hob Gadling. I think you would like him. He's an exceptional tutor.” Jessamy's eyes go wide. "Oh my god," she says, slamming her drink onto the table. Dream is grateful for the lid lest it end up all over him instead. "The sex professor?" Dream's brain stops. "The what?" "Gadling! Colloquially known as the Sex Professor? Oddly attractive tutor? Does English and History 'officially' but most people go to him for the sex?" Dream feels as if he's been tipped into an alternate reality. "Professor Gadling. Hob Gadling. Sleeps with his clients? His younger clients" "Okay, you make it sound bad when you put it that way. Never heard a bad word about him in that regard. People say it's always very consensual and that he's also a very good lay. Lucienne's gone to him." "Lucienne has slept with him?” "Yup! Told me it's where she learned some of her moves." "I do not need to hear this." "Are you gonna sleep with him? Lots of people claim he's the best they've ever had. He's apparently as good of a teacher in bed as he is behind the desk." "Jessamy—" "You could probably use some stress relief. Maybe he'll give you a reward for passing that test of yours?" "Jessamy, please stop." She blinks and raises her hands in surrender. "Okay, I hear you. Topic: dropped." "Thank you." He folds his head into his arms where they rest on the table, trying not to think too hard about everything he just learned from Jessamy in a matter of two minutes. Of course he'd manage to find the one (he hopes it's just one) university level tutor that also offers "sex education" on the side. He can hear Desire's voice in his head already. “Dream!” His name is called from the counter. He takes a deep breath in before extricating himself from the booth. He grabs their items, his own drink secured between his chest and arm, and sits back down. The crepe cake does look delicious, but now as he looks down at it, all he can think of is what Jessamy had said. Had Hob been trying to coerce Dream into sleeping with him? Is that why he was texting him things unrelated to their sessions? He takes a sip of his coffee and tries to focus on Jessamy's trailing story about the latest art department drama. He never sends Hob a picture of that cake.

Wip List

[fushiglow]

Hello glow!!! Thank you for another lovely satosugu work! :)

I absolutely love how real and tangible your writing is - seeing them start with different states of being turned on and building together really paints such a lovely picture of what intimacy is without the expectation of a perfect start-stop :) 3 cheers to realistic sexual dynamics!

Also, I think that your link at the end of your post goes to Violent Delights instead - but maybe that's just an issue on my end!

Thank you so much for this lovely feedback (and the heads up about the link), I can't tell you how much your words cheered me on Friday! They came at a time I really needed to hear them so, if you don't mind, I'm going to use this ask as an opportunity to say a few things about my writing and why I do what I do — no obligation to respond!

Quite honestly, I have been feeling a little anxious about how I'm perceived as a writer recently. When Over the Threshold started gathering some steam in January, I only had five published works on AO3 posted over the course of six months. By the end of August, I'll have 18 published works for Jujutsu Kaisen, 16 of which will be complete. I have never been this productive in a fandom before!

A lot of the reason for that is because I'm finally learning how to work with my AuDHD brain. I love writing, I really do, and I'm constantly excited by the possibilities that reside within my brain. I have more ideas than I have time or hands to write them, but I want to explore as many of those ideas as possible. In the past, I would have forced myself to stick to the thing that I was "supposed" to write, rather than following the burst of inspiration and writing the thing that I "wanted" to write. To no one's surprise, that usually meant I ended up writing nothing at all.

I'm someone who seeks out challenges, and all the fics I've published in 2024 have been experimental in some way. Come Get Your Honey was a challenge in extended metaphor. Balance was a challenge in seamlessly blending two very different universes. Mailman AU was a challenge in format. Violent Delights was a challenge in pushing myself to new and uncomfortable places. Thunder was a challenge in encapsulating an entire world and history within a single motif without ever actually seeing that world and history.

I'm really proud of every single one of those works, as well as the speed I've written them at. I've published 92k words on AO3 already this year and written far more, so I feel like I can no longer justifiably call myself a slow writer. However, all the works mentioned above have artistic merit in the more traditional sense — i.e. they're not smut.

At the time of writing this, three of my five most recent works contain sexual content with varying degrees of explicitness, and it's hard to escape that pervasive (and flawed) idea that smut is "less serious" as a form of writing. Even writing smut in the first place has been a slow process of overcoming some of my own biases. However, sex is part of the spectrum of human experiences, and it's also deeply political. Whenever I explore it in my writing, you can be sure that I always have that at the forefront of my mind. That's why these works, too, have represented something new and challenging and exciting for me.

Discreet Delivery was the first piece containing explicit sexual content that I ever shared publicly and, with how rife top/bottom discourse is in this fandom (most of which is based on heteronormative ideals that I vehemently disagree with), I really wanted to make a statement straight out of the gate. I'm very proud of how I managed to weave a switch/vers narrative into a oneshot, and the feedback on it was wonderful.

Headroom, however, presented a very different kind of challenge. It was extremely difficult to write, because it doesn't follow the beats of a traditional sex scene. There's no satisfaction for Satoru nor for the readers, and that made it tricky to keep it engaging. I was also very nervous about showing a different side of these beloved AU characters and establishing a new dynamic between them while incorporating some of the broader themes from Over the Threshold.

Finally, Tell Me I'm Pretty was pure subversion, writing Suguru in particular in a way I've never seen before to challenge expectations about "roles" in sex. It meant I had no blueprint to work from, but I'm not interested in reproducing the same dynamics I've read a thousand times. However, that also means that I felt very anxious about how people would receive this fic — especially on GeGo Day.

The truth is, everything I write I write for myself first and foremost, but it's hard to keep sight of that when you're blessed with an engaged audience. This is a huge reason why updates to Over the Threshold take time. This fic is deeply important and deeply personal to me, but its growing popularity adds a pressure that I don't want to influence my writing. I feel a constant underlying need to outdo myself with every new fic and chapter I post, but that's unrealistic and unachievable.

Obviously, I want readers to enjoy what I write, but I know the moment I start writing for other people is the moment my writing suffers. That's the main reason why I'm reluctant to put anything behind a paywall, even if I feel frustrated with the way fanfics are casually consumed on the internet. Readers occasionally make demands of me without any respect for my time and effort and creative vision, and sometimes I look at what I've written and think, "Am I really going to give that away for free?". However, asking for anything beyond tips would change the game for me. Enjoying my writing is far more valuable to me, at least at this point in time.

All of this is to say: I really loved writing Tell Me I'm Pretty. I had a blast with it — until it came time to post, at which point I suddenly felt full of self-doubt. For you to appear in my inbox and tell me that you appreciated the realism of the intimacy in this fic? I couldn't have asked for anything more, thank you so much ♥️

TL;DR, I write for myself, but god, it's the best feeling in the world when readers resonate with my writing. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to let me know. I love you all to the moon and back!

[blkkizzat]

KALIIIIIII !!!! tell me ab ur self ships 😋

Vegas!!! Omigosh aaahhh! No one ever asks me about my selfships! ty pookies! So we got:

Chojili [CHO-JI-LEE] (Choso x Toji x Me polyship): ‘Daddy & Baby’ fic I wrote was 100% selfship that I just made x reader. I know this is such an odd pairing to have together in a polyship but even though it seems crazy it fits well like a puzzle.

We each are getting something out of it/compensating for something the other is missing.

Toji after his wife died is still pretty broken years later so while he does want love, he can’t articulate that well and doesn’t like the pressure of a monogamous relationship. He also can’t really have a stable one with his line of work. With Choso in the mix he doesn’t feel as bad as being emotionally unavailable or gone for periods of time because Choso more than over compensates with displays of affection. Megumi (who is in high school in this timeline) thinks we are actually helping his dad slowly be less of a degenerate lmfao.

Choso in turn feels less guilt for not being as competent navigating the world living as a human. He wants to provide but he can't have a normal job, etc feels bad he relies on me so much when he doesn’t know how to do something. With Toji in the picture he doesn't have to do as much now cause I’ll just nag Toji to do it LOL! They’re both so opposite that neither one really gets jealous of the other (although Toji loves to tease/bully Choso for being a 'pussy whipped emo boy'). 

As for me? Well I get the best of both worlds as I have a strong urge to be dominated by daddy as much as I want to be mommy and bby gyal a man until he cries 💕

Next....

Kunali [KU-NA-LEE] (Sukuna x Me): So I wrote about this in the True Form Sukuna Drabble based off request actually haha. The request was just for riding Sukuna’s stomach but I added in a little sprinkle of my own (toxic) selfship. The tea is I end up being some modern concubine to Sukuna after making a binding vow that I’d do whatever he wanted if he spared Gojo who is my fiance (in my Canon-AU he didn’t get marked down to 50% off by that world splitting cleave, infinity was just broken lol). So it's definitely an enemies to lovers scenario, minor stockholm syndrome and very slow burn but I cannot tell you how much this situation ate at my brain UP. I would have actually wrote a larger fic about it but it's so angsty and slow burn in be like 10+ chapters and my head would explode lol. 

I do have a far healthier selfship of me and Sukuna that I wrote about in the halloween fluff fic I did (I love that Canon-AU of mine cause nobody dies lmfao. Sukuna is just kind of a permanent antagonist lol). I know a lot of TF!Sukuna selfships are heian era or non-canon AU but I think it would be super funny to be with him as he adjusts to the modern world.

Other than that I have far less developed ones I haven’t really worked out yet lol. I do have a couple of crack selfships lmfao one where me and Toji (and eventually Choso) live with about 3 dozen raccoons that he has trained to do his bidding (based off this tiktok) that i developed with @ryomens-vixen and @littlemochabunni lol if you ever hear us talking about raccoons its probably related to that LOL!

ahh i rambled too much haha sry!

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

SO I WANT TO SAY THIS BEFORE I FORGET!!

I noticed how each chapter of Twisted Wonderland's manga series based off each game and their chapter with each Yuu/MC/the reader and viewer is different in a way of what would help contrast the focus of the story.

Examples being Enma Yuuken is strong and obvious extremally masculine there fore "strong" in looks than Riddle who's "strong" in the sense of brains and magic as he literally bulldoze across any set back to be the top of his school to a degree of being Housewarden a mere weeks since joining as a new student vs. this one guy who has no magic and only seemingly became a student regardless of background or magic history and is able to make plenty of friends when he can't think of anyone outside of Trey and Cater and Chenya to call his friend, maybe even doubt if they even see him as his friend.

Then we have Yuuka Hirasaka who is confident, kind, loyal, and brave as shit, proving her point by risking her safety for a animal in the road. Leona, try as he might, wouldn't even give a chance to prove he can do that because everyone already doesn't expect much from him, or at least that's what he said. He's confident for a different reason, also if you remember how things run back in the Sunset Savannah you'd argue Leona feels extra bitter and more in need to try and prove worth more cause he grew up not only looked down on by his magic and potion in the royal line but also is honestly scared of the women around him. He's more confused with Yuuka especially since she doesn't show much fear to him

Next we have Mito Yuuta who I love the most so far due to what may come. Azul is confident and arrant as a show off little shield cause of his own self insecurities especially his image, specially his body and it's weight. He was relentlessly picked on by everyone besides his mother mainly due to his weight which from that level of trauma he's willing to work hard to become the smartest, the strongest, the most respected, and hottest out of spite not cause he generally feels that he wants to, to him he needed to. And it's obviously still stuck on him enough to not take pictures regardless how much money he would make and even making Yuu(soon Mito) to break into something dangerous and steal the only picture of his childhood he was unable to hide in the mind set of destroying it, regardless if he thought it would work or not. Meanwhile Mito Yuuta is a big guy who's okay and proud of his shape and eating habits and kind of like the ones before he him he actually has people who want to his friend vs. the unknown certainty that Jade and Floyd aren't technically his friends, they openly claim him as entertainment and if he got boring they'd leave him.

In other words there may be a chance other chapters would have a similar method with not just the design choice but personality design of future Yuus to contrast against the "flaws" of the chapter's "bad guys or villains"

I want Chapter 4 to be a girl, maybe make her beautiful in some way or have the personality of Jasmine from Aladdin that way the weird vibes of Chapter 4 being super hella romantic and even more ship baiting in any and all forms feel right, not to mention that scene of Jamil hypnotizing us in the kitchen DISNEY GIVE ME THAT AMAZING ART WORK OF JAMIL JUST LOOKING AT THIS GIRL AND MAKE ME AS CONFUSED IN MY SEXUALITY AND FEELINGS AS YOU DID WITH JASMINE AND ALADDIN WHEN I WAS 10 YEARS OLD!!!

I also think having Chapter 5's Yuu whatever gender (maybe male or masculine based cause there's a pattern it seems) but either make them somehow cuter than the ones before even if it's one trait or maybe give them something like a birthmark or scar of sorts that would somehow deem them "ugly" the their world but Vil would be lowkey obsessive of slowly as that was his character is, he's so obsessed proving he's beautiful and good and smart and strong to the point he obsessed over others and their flaws

Though with Chapter 6 I'm stuck on just cuz I want a sassy Meg type Yuu but also want a tall handsome muscular man who's like Hercules and everything Idia most likely would wish to be including with open mention of having great relationship with their family or maybe even them being an orphan

What are your guys' thoughts and opinions?

[sucantslay]

Meiyuu Deshi Kairou analysis. I'm losing my sanity...

Hello @hypn0sssss, just wanna let you know, I've been working off my ass to research this song like...more than 30 minutes but then in turn into a whole week long.

It was fun though ( I really need a rest but my brain said just do it! )

BUT, ANYWAY, here are some important information you should know before getting into this song analysis.

If you don't know, this is an event song, it connects with an event story about a VR game, yes, a VR game. It was introduced to Mika by Makoto and Sora. And later on, became the inspiration for Mika's song.

This is related to Mika's character, so if you know nothing about him, you can learn more from some sources out there or have a quick check at my post

3 . I'll mostly put the lyrics in word form. I really want to put all the translation pictures here but since Tumblr stop me from having more than 10 pics in a post...I can only put some.

4 . Most of this is my personal analysis. Pls tell me or put on the sources if you want to put it somewhere. Also, since it is a PERSONAL thing, the lyrics might not mean like that to you, but it is to me. You are free to have your own idea of this song however you like.

Alright! Let's get started!!!

For the theme of the song, Mika is using the VR game as his base, so it understandable that some words might be a little lead into the mechanical aspect.

The story for this song is about a mechanical god who ends the story/ the world abruptly. It very interesting when the song did not only successfully portray the theme of mechanical but also the theme and story of Valkyrie itself.

Oh my dear Mika, you are really something of an artist, aren't ya?! It the time when Mika finally step up and going his own art more then waiting for Shu order!

The name of the song "Meikyuu Deshi Kairou" which means "Labyrinth Electronic Corridor"

With some lines mention classic songs

(this line got repeated 2 times)

"Ode to Joy" or in other words "An die Freude"

You must have known it as Beethoven's most significant work, Symphony No.9, a choral symphony.

Since the name isn't being written in another name until you start digging deeper, you'll find something eles, lies in these words they had chosen.

It was origin from a poem written by a German named Friedrich Schiller and was used by Beethoven in his Ninth Symphony.

But the version that Beethoven used is the revision of the poem. Yet Friedrich himself didn't like that version at all, he viewed it as a failure.

Why? Because Friedrich made that poem for his dear beloved ( longtime friend and partner ) Christian Gottfried Körner, who inspired him to write the poem.

He stayed "of value maybe for us two, but not for the world, nor for the art of poetry"

I SWEAR TO GOD, WHEN I READED THOUGH WORD, NO THING APPEAR IN MY MIND AS FAST AS MIKA AND SHU DID.

His performance and his dear partner in art. Did I mention that Friedrich made a whole verse for Christian on his birthday.

( uhm, ok, that's enough! Let's move to the next one for now before I can't keep this mouth shut. )

Some lines in the poem go like this:

"Rescue from the chains of tyrants, Magnanimity to the villain too, Hope on the deathbed, Mercy in the high (law) court, Even the dead shall live! Brothers, drink and agree (with me) That all sinners shall be forgiven And hell shall be no more."

The "Ode to Joy" old name was "Ode to Freedom" / "An die Freiheit"

Then there came "Libera me" ( "Deliver me" )

Which also has an interesting background related to the Catholic Church. "Libera me" originated from a song named "Office of the Dead" which had been sung as a service prayer for the death.

The text asks God to have mercy upon the deceased person at the Last Judgment.

And it fits the theme of the song well! Because as I said before, the song is about a god who wants to destroy the world in sudden.

So "Ode to Joy", "Libera me" can be seen as the voices of humans who denying the god choice, the choice to turn the world back to dust.

( Note: The line in the song is not being sung by Mika or Shu, but by voices in the background. It becomes more noticeable when considering the fact that none other Valkyrie songs have these "background voices" at all )

The next two lines both sing an indirectly about the old Valkyrie.

"Ah, the melody sinks into overwritten myths"

The old Valkyrie had been sunk down to the deep by the play of Fine.

"Come, it is the time to open the floating corridor that full of electrons"

But it was the story from a long time ago, now, we taking a different path, to the new corridor, a new path to the future yet we're still unable to predict. Accidentally we lead ourselves to the door of destruction. ( It can also be seen as the god in this play had opened the door of doom, ending the world in sudden )

Ah, yes, once again this song mentions the use of the classic poem.

This "Song of the Bell" had nothing to do with song or symphony, which gives us more clues and confirms the truth about "Ode to Joy".

Surprisingly, "Song of the Bell" is also been written by Friedrich Schiller.

"Ode to Joy" was written in 1785, while "Song of the Bell" was written in 1798.

The poem talks about the bell, how was the bell made, by what, and with what tools and techniques they used to make it.

I have a belief that the "love and punishment" part of the song lyrics has other means than taking from the "Song of the Bell". Yes, the poem did mention "love" as a part of the story where a couple has known each other since they were kid.

Wedding bell and allocation of roles is the part when the bell acts as a wedding bell.

To later on, mention death: Death knell upon the decease of the woman where the bell has an earnest purpose and tolls in accompaniment to a funeral

But there is no mention of crime or punishment.

So go back to the lyrics where they sing: "Reflect the song"

Reflect...which means there is a connection but not really is about the poem. It was more about Valkyris, the love had turned its back on them. Their art, their joy, their peaceful life as 3 small people in an unpopular Unit was now a punishment, pulling them down to the ground.

Nazuna left, Valkyrie broke, Shu is no longer himself.

To Mika, if not a punishment then what could this horrifying scene had been?

We can also see this in the human's eyes. If "Ode to Joy", "Libera me" was all human ( in the theme ) talking about, then this line is the begging for the god to rethink his decision:

"Please, don't you see, this beautiful planet is our everything. Is our beginning and our ending. We may suffer, but we are happy, and that makes living a meaningful thing."

noticed how Mika uses "Each other" not just "Other" which points to both Shu and Mika.

In their era of being a "not so happy" unit since the war ended.

They have gone so far and now look back at themself. Such action of shame, the days when we are still nothing but a nameless Valkyrie.

You can also look at it in the MV theme way: ''I wish this world would disappear.'' As the god of mechanical no longer feels the need of humans exiting.

As the next lyrics go:

"Behind this veil of anonymity" (Shu line)

"The ghosts of the dead-" (Mika line)

"Are dancing in the underground till the end of the trial" (Shu line)

There are two things I need to point out in detail here:

Firstly: The meaning of these lines seems to me as if they're talking about their trauma. Behind this veil is the old time, the old ghosts, look, they are all here, never left until we start open up with them. Until we learn how to heal ourselves from the brutal injury of war did we be able to make them leave

Secondly: Mika once again mentions death. It was Mika's own thing, if you don't know, death kinda became a thing that fond with Mika's style. Lots of times, we can see Mika associated with death ( mostly in the old song. )

In his 'In the Shadow' outfit, which had a deep connection with butterflies.

Butterflies are a symbol of the representative soul of a deceased person. In that outfit, Mika is represented by a blue butterfly, what was the meaning of that symbol?

A symbol of the soul who passed is nearby!

So, by now you would be questioning: "Why are there so many signs about death from Mika?" Well, glad you asked.

This all came down to the fact that Mika was being a doll in Valkyrie. Nazuna was also a doll himself, but he break free and Mika didn't.

Mika is dying from the inside, becoming the soulless, as he loses what support to belong to him. He sells it away, sacrifice it for the wish of making Valkyrie great again.

"Surrounded by faceless choirs, there's stand the lonely soloist So, let's sing out loud to those who have no place to go, here's the truth."

Sung by both Mika and Shu.

In my belief, these lines are dedicated to them, the Valkyrie that got injured after the war. They got no hope, not thing to relied on.

Shu got a bad representation, lost his mind.

Mika also had to suffer from the event but he's trying his very best not to become a burden to Shu after Nazuna left.

That was the moment when Mika became more doll-like than how he was before.

We stood together, yet loneliness filled inside our souls. Becoming the "soloist" singer without notice.

"Sing to those who have no place"

They're telling themself, their pitiful past self that the daunting world is now no more.

We now have a place to stay, a home to be in, we've got our back.

Ok, ok, here it comes, MY FAVORITE LINE!

LIKE, THERE ARE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT, I CAN'TTTTT

Ok, I can actually do that now ( since this analysis is already long as hell )

This line makes a connection to another line, which is:

"Here's the truth" - "Audience, please come"

"To the New World"

Isn't simply just about the god and the humans, it carries two meanings.

One is the literal, a sore thumb that sticks out the most to me: IT ABOUT THE VALKYRIE NEW ERAAAAA.

They maybe not yet healed, not yet prepared themself for the world outside, but they're now more happy than ever.

Shu is trying his best to understand Mika.

Mika is trying his best to become something of his own, escape from the realm of a soulless doll.

"Dancing with full bloom"

Like, uhm *raises eyebrows*, full bloom, full bloom you said?

The last time ( the first time Shu appeared in the game main story ), Shu said: "I am counting the days until we bring our blossoms together to make "Valkyrie" the most beautiful bouquet in the world."

And now ya said that you're FULL BLOOM? That can only mean one thing, they have finally found their meaning of art.

They may not "bloom" to the world but "bloom" to themself. Becoming different. They changing, they learning, and they are growing.

"where 0 and 1 dancing"

Yeh, you already know what I'm going to say. 0 and 1 are binary code or we usually call it "computer language" / bits.

0 and 1, is what this theme song is about. The mechanical god, the new world of mechanics. "0 and 1 dancing" is "The god is speaking".

Like, 0 1 then 1 0, 0 1 then 1 0, where 0 and 1 will change their place to make a byte, a string of bits, representing the god language.

And, it is just me or do I get the feeling that this goddess who wants to destroy a world in rust has his reason, he has a feeling that leaving the world like this, isn't a good idea.

Even if the humans are begging him to stop, he did not listen.

Because, in some of the next lines, we got this:

"A play that crueler than dream" (Shu line)

"With everyone's prayers" (Mika line)

"Everyone will remember it" (Shu line).

"Above the Surface world that full of selfishness and egoism" (Mika line)

The god see human as this selfish and only care for what they want most then how others feel.

"This lost child of the era, is confused by the fragile waves" (Mika line)

"So let's come and come into a new world trapped in 0 and 1" (Shu & Mika line)

Is about Valkyrie, IT ABOUT VALKYRIE. *Gone crazy at this point*

If you didn't know, Valkyris wasn't that used to the new system after the war. The DreamFes system made by Eichi, yeah, that one.

They skip school and most of the time do their show outside of school until Eichi himself steps in and threatens them to rejoin the school and accept the DreamFess system.

They were lost. Lost of the modern world, and still stay in the old era. Shu never wants to go back and join the DreamFes for once because how much he hated Eichi, and how much the war hurted him, yet, they return, make a change that not even Eichi can imagine of.

"Lost in their own tears, and still..." (Shu line)

"Falling away..." (Mika line)

They did, however, losing against Fine, and still...this was not the end.

THIS WAS A MARK FOR THE NEW BEGINNING.

That they're now known to DreamFes, open their mind and continue their journey.

That why the next line of the song came with a stronger beat. Bam! We are now reborn, we are now continue to blooming up on this world of hidden beauty. We'll find it and make art out of it!

"Scrutinize, lament, and let your own foolish schemes drive you crazy" (Shu line, it kinda fit Shu too)

"And now, ask yourself here and now." (Mika line)

"Is there an omnipotent being to be ruled?" (Both)

"And do you believe it?" (Shu line)

"Do you believe it?" (Mika line)

"Do you believe it?" (Both)

I think these lines are pointing to Shu and how he've been since the end of the war.

Scrutinize mean: examine or inspect closely and thoroughly.

While lament mean: a passionate expression of grief or sorrow.

After the war, Shu was cave for perfection even more than he was before, he wish to not made all that mistake again or else he might lose Mika too.

He drive himself crazy, then look back what happened, he started to ask questions.

He was so into perfection, he loses the meaning of art it self. He put himself into a jail, said that, this was all for the work of art, but it wasn't.

People are being harm for his actions, Mika wasn't getting any better if he keeps acting like this. Reckless and madness drive him away from the actual beauty in art that the old Shu was fond of.

So, he ask himself. If art is freedom, why so gaol...

"Is there an omnipotent being to be ruled?"

And realizing that, will he continue to be like this. Do you believe in such form of art that not bring happiness and joy?

For the bloom of Valkyrie, must we sacrifice our little life for the victory Shu wanted.

Also important element needed to be mention: Last Lament.

Meiyuu Deshi Kairou was released in 2023, and Last Lament which is also a Valkyrie song was released in 2017.

And in the song, there was this line: "It fine if we reach the brink of our dreams and rot forgotten."

"We'll use the flames of passion on us, to show them that we can melt even despair."

But, but! In their newest song ( from the Trip albums)

Shukufuku no Library

We can see, Shu is now accepting the future and wish for joy to Valkyrie then only to successfully reach their dream as soon as possible:

"Is it only success stories that are now illuminated by the love that shines down from the heavens?"

"No! An unfinished adventure stories is also a foolish memoir that's also precious."

"Come on, let's play the lovely poems of our lives and gently store them in the library of blessings."

Return, return, let's us get to the next line:

Ok, Ok, I love that they put both Friedrich Schiller work into one line!

"A play that's crueler than a dream" (Mika line)

"Everyone inside this veil wishing for something" (Shu line)

The god talk about everyone wishes, seeing their foolish little small wishes yet never to be turn into reality because the god already had their own plan for them.

It also Shu, talking to himself that even if life is cruel, everyone has their little dream.

"In the face of the myth of the Perfect world" (Shu line)

But Shu dream was too far from reality, can that Perfection he wished for really have a way to get?

From here on, the line repeat itself:

"confused by the fragile waves" (Shu line)

"This lost child of the era" (Mika line)

"So let's come and come into a new world trapped in 0 and 1" (Shu & Mika line)

But this time, Shu has become different, Valkyrie has changed! The lost child had found their way out of that jail!

"The labyrinth corridor, love is a Perfect world" (The back choir?)

And yes, he did be able to found out, love is the best way to a world he's wish for, no more madness from now on, only love and joy.

And maybe, just maybe, the goddess in this song also did.

Thank you for your time! Reading this.

It late now, and my ears...oh god...it had been listen to Meiyuu Deshi Kairou non-stop ( I remember like 8/10 of the goddam lyrics *cry and laughed at the same time* )

Also, one last thing...

In the 3D MV, noticed how Mika move, yes, he still keep that flexibility of him, but that not just a represent for a doll, Mika now turning it in to his own style of dance.

While Shu do art in a perfect and nicely organizing way.

Mika go for a chaos way that both resemble the old him and use it to make the new him.

In the last moment of the MV, Mika...I don't know if he forget or that is simply how the MV plays out, but there was a moment like this:

Mika when: Look at my Oshi-san!!!

Shu: Mika! Back up! You're supposed to be standing next to me.

Mika: Can i?

Shu: Yes. Yes you can. You're no longer a doll, but a human, a partner who place is staying next to me and performing art together.

Mika: Oh...I'm not fulling understand that, but ok! I'll try to stay next to you from now on!

( this is me, writing that out of thin air, the conversation may not be real, but the meaning are. Mika may be a little confused for suddenly got set free from being a soulless doll, he need his little time )

Thank...for reading...my dear ValkyrieP... I need a rest and a cup of coffee I guess *die*

[avatar-of-the-web]

This was going to be a response but Tumblr has the best timing with making me lose a post forever, so the context is TMA "Are there loving God's?" Gerry said, he doesn't believe so.

They appear to all be fear-based.

He specifies, “At least not that I've seen” [they are not anything else]

Smart boy, the information tugs at the edge of the subconscious where you can barely see it. You know it's wrong without the means to prove it.

You know they're beyond your imagination but you still yet cannot help being trapped in a world of fear; this was true before they literally consumed the world. They already had. So caught up in fear that it had practically swallowed it all to begin with. All Elias had really done was make it official, to cut everything else out of the picture.

So there was nothing left to balance, it slides on an incline downward; but this is an ecosystem and the balance is off. They can't feed forever if even they can die—this world was finite.

In a sense, ours isn't. Of course, the flesh disagrees and the clumsy host produces waste without thinking of solutions will disagree; “it's all finite to me” but this energy is never created nor destroyed only moved, only changed.

They'd be different sides of the same entity, not completely different entity's; they're ELDRITCH, or incredibly difficult, dense to comprehend; Different faces, same beast—a different man sees their own unique version of each god as unique as their relationship with it.

To a vast avatar, the vast is a loving god, She changed you for the better; Gave you what you Needed, though She may still ask for payment in an exchange. That's not unreasonable.

Of course how we draw the lines in the sand are circumstantial. One calls it the Eye because they believe this section of the beast is worth separating as its own; and for good reason. In every head, the witness of life observes and fed and fed and fed She changes too. Different forms of course; some continually feeding without consideration, some drink the sea to know to apply, some cannot help this obsession spurred by terror what will happen if I don't see it all? And more.

The Eye is a dominant entity for Her presence is nearly guaranteed. The Web us a dominant entity because it is or lays in the connection of everything.

We section these things to better understand them. The total of it all— it's too overwhelming to process all at once.

But it comes down to this.

You make a relationship with your slice of The Gods.

“In exchange for being my vessel, here is a prize; but you must be calibrated. Not just anybody can be a vessel for # you must fulfill the needs, be capable of performing My actions of thinking My thoughts.

You are My Vessel the embodiment of Me and you must Become to Be.”

Gerry is biased by WHAT HE COULD SEE, the patterns that trapped him, and what he could see was ultimately dictated by the people that insisted on controlling his life; so when he escaped he could only make how he viewed the world his own, so he saved people from fear instead of creating it.

He fought limitation though limitation still lay as it were, he could only go so far but even so

If that's not love, I don't know what is.

So he did not See it for he could not understand it but he could Feel it still; it drove his actions though he separated them.

He only knew these things could hurt people because he Saw what they could do. He only saved them because he Knew. Otherwise, there is no reason to Fear.

Of course, doubt and denial and misunderstanding, misaligning information leads to blindness; one could ask "how could god do that?" thinking of a god as something akin to a man making decisions; but they're far more complex than that.

The human brain does not dictate every little thing the stomach does, and goes through, though it certainly influences decisions we typically don't understand every single thing going on and don't control every single muscle and behaviour inside. A god on a greater scale—as a given consciousness could be a god to it's cells whom practice their devotion by serving their own respective purposes for the greater good of the whole and the individual—this is no different.

In our complicated dimension we have more of a choice.

We get to be privvy, get to know, get to share that know, if we so choose, if we find ourselves capable.

But I can only choose how I'd choose as I am with my life and my knowledge.

I become what I can reach.

And I believe there is every side to them, and an infinite number of ways to slice them. They are only reduced to Fears in a world of Fear.

I make no predication to the angle the podcast will take; but I see the seeds of reality that bloomed to creative ideas in TMA. And I see what cannot be avoided; I see what is being depicted.

In it's full complexity, from the eye of the beholder, from the centre of fear is our vantage point as the audience as it is the writers.

The Witness of Life, The Eye, The Evil Eye. All the same. Whatever angle it takes.

So we will See.

[asheepinthenight]

I have a question! What is your writing process? As in, do you have a set amount of words to reach a day or do you simply write when the feeling grabs you? Did you plan the entire story out first before you started writing or did it shape as you went? I’m curious!

Honestly, my process is a little chaotic! I'm neurodivergent, so most of my "process" is just working around what my brain can and cannot be persuaded to do on a given day. In general, most of the writing/coding work gets done in intense productivity bursts of a few days, weeks or months followed by periods of lower intensity. While the intense periods get the actual job done, the low-intensity ones are where the story actually takes shape. For every hour I spend writing and coding, I spend significantly longer on other background work, whether that's planning scenes, working on lore, or thinking super hard about why some particular thing isn't working.

As far as the writing itself, I did start out using weekly/monthly word count goals, but it didn't really work for me as a motivational tool. Since the vast majority of passages for TE contain at least some text variation based on variables, it's more confusing to write and code separately, so I do them both at once. I also commit the cardinal writer sin of writing and editing more or less simultaneously, so the actual word count of the project bounces around quite a lot. Sometimes, cutting several thousand words that aren't working feels like a big accomplishment on its own! So instead of using word count, I try to focus on making writing its own reward. Writing isn't always fun, but if I'm not compelled by the act of writing a scene, it usually means that I need to slow down and find a way to make it more vibrant—or it needs to be cut or rearranged.

On the planning side, I'm a planner when it comes to the big-picture stuff and more of a pantser on the scene level. TE started its life as a vague list of scenes (I work off scenes rather than chapters), then became a flowchart in Obsidian.

The flowchart's seen a lot of changes since its initial form, but the general structure is mostly the same. It hasn't been updated since the last demo update, but the demo scenes (green) are pretty orderly with connection arrows between them. The farther you go into future scenes (red), the less structured they get. Most of the red scenes don't even show the major branching they'll include. Usually, as a planned scene approaches, the way it connects to preceding scenes will present itself, whether it's through a time skip or some new scenes. Subplots and other elements that don't need to coincide with external plot beats get slotted in wherever makes sense without disturbing the flow of the story.

I can't say that I'd recommend my process to anyone, but if you want to try it, have at it! It's all about finding a method that works well for a given person and a given project.

[t1erradelfuego]

good evening. it is 22:18 pm. my flight leaves in 14 hours. i spoke 2 the moon today and she said that i can't start packing until i get rid of the worms in my brains and the narratives in my heart in the form of ao3 formatted fic ideas that rotate in my mind at the speed of light.

broken window serenade [matthew tkachuk/leon draisaitl] alternate universe - yellowstone fusion, childhood friends to enemies to lovers, internalized homophobia, cowboys & ranch hands Everyone knows the Tkachuks around here. They own the biggest ranch south of Montana, hundreds of hectares of grazing land nestled on the border in between Missouri and Nebraska. Leon's been a part of the ranch since before he could even ride a horse. He knows this place better than the back of his hand, knows his way around the business and the politics that come with being Keith Tkachuk's right-hand man and the leader of the ranch hands. So it's not a problem at all when Keith falls ill and the ranch is left to Brady and him in the meantime. Not a problem at all, when Matthew shows up for the first time in eleven years, like Leon hadn't spent the same amount of time convincing himself that Matthew was a figment of his imagination. That he didn't leave him in the middle of the night, didn't ruin everything and everyone else for Leon after that.

more notes: my toxic white middle age conservative trait is that i love yellowstone. look the show is Not The Best but WHATEVER i fucking love cowboy hats so much and i think for the benefit of my health i need to imagine leon draisaitl on a horse. anyways leon is a poor little canadian-german orphan (do NOT ask me how he got to missouri) who has been a part of the ranch since he was young, growing up with matthew as their friendship turned from deeply codependent childhood besties into fucking around together. and then matthew leaves one morning after he comes out to his dad and disappears for the next 11 years which ruins leon. and now keith's in the hospital with a stroke and matthew's back and leon just wants to run him over with a horse! something about the sincerity of childhood relationships and also the first bond you make in a new and strange place and the idea of being each other's comfort. and having that all taken away from you without a choice. and having it walk back into your life dressed in a business casual suit. there is also the version of this that exists. from matthew's perspective but like. always more narratively interesting to dig into the one who got left behind.

so good at being trouble [jack hughes/nico hischier] rule 63, alternate universe - celebrity, jack hughes is not a hockey player, getting together, secret relationship, mixed media, outsider POV, Pop Base @popbase Jack Hughes spotted with Nico Hischier, captain of the New Jersey Devils (NHL), at dinner in Los Angeles.

more notes: i'm not even a swiftie but the travis kelce and taylor swift of it all REALLY got to me. and then trevor's whole thing with the tiktok influencer and getting publicized via alex's ig is sooooo. and the wag christmas pics. i'm in shambles island over here. i'm gnawing on a bone that is pop star/professional athlete of it all. i want jack to show up slyly in the pictures and nobody knows if she's there because of luke or because of nico. i thought this would be full pov fic but it is so much more tastier as a mixed media/snippets in between type of fic because i want nothing more than to lean into the media machine that haunts their relationship. also luke having a meltdown that his captain and his sister are dating.

love is no island [trevor zegras/jamie drysdale], alternate universe - not a hockey player, love island fusion, getting together, no shirts no shoes but trevor still gets service, It was a joke, but it wasn't really a joke, because Trevor had been single for too long when he saw a post advertising Love Island applications appear on his phone. He's never been out of luck before, doesn't really know what to do without something to occupy his time and his hands. Even his social media algorithm knows this. It had been the best idea of his life. Then again, everything sounds like the best idea of his life after six shots and a fruity cocktail on an empty stomach.

more notes: ok i binged love island s6 throughout thanksgiving break and i've been thinking about the similarity of being put in a high-stakes fast paced environment and the semblance of intimacy that it creates in hockey and in love island. i'm thinking very deeply of trevor who can't sort his private vs public feelings and is also scared that this means nothing to jamie, whose friends signed him up on a lark and doesn't actually want to be here. nothing much to do but to fall in love and it feels a little too inevitable and maybe too easy. they sweep the voting and win the grand prize and fly back and go. oh. now what.

like the best that you've had [trevor zegras/jamie drysdale] rule 63, women in the NHL, 2023-2024 NHL season, getting together, "So like," Mason starts, having slowly skated his way over to Jamie as they're doing cool down laps. Practice ended an hour ago, but Trevor wanted extra reps at defending and to torture Mason for whatever reason, and it turned into keep and chase that ended with Trevor straddling Jamie, trying to face wash him on the ice. "You and Trevor a thing, huh?" They weren't particularly subtle if Mason's figured it out in his first practice with the team. Jamie blushes. "Oh. Good luck." Mason nods sagely, patting Jamie on the back before skating away quickly.

more notes: girl trevor is a female coyote who's ready to EAT. deeply inspired by top dog by magdalena bay. i've been thinking about the dynamics of women in the nhl (see: bingo board) for a long time and trevor would make the best girl in the game, so deeply sure about herself, loudly wants and hasn't ever felt shy a day in her life. i keep thinking about how jamie would go insane. specifically i wanna pick away at the dynamic that is being deeply in love with someone that everyone keeps telling you not to fall in love with. not that there's anything wrong with girl trevor but she looks like she chews on boys' heart for fun and spits them out clean as a whistle after. and she does! the first three months of living together, jamie runs into way too many guys that look heartbroken while getting kicked out like!

call this place my home [matthew tkachuk/leon draisaitl/connor mcdavid] rule 63, accidental pregnancy, developing relationship, polyamorous relationship, alternate universe, 2022-2023 NHL season Leon and Connor have been tied on the leaderboard for the past week, like they can't figure out who should win the Art Ross trophy this season, passing the puck back and forth in between them on the way to the net. They did the same to Matthew during Toronto, because they always liked sharing everything. Now she's staring at a positive pregnancy test. Go figure.

more notes: saving the best for last because THIS IS SO FUCK NASTY AND INDULGENT, i am not above this apparently. look i keep thinking about matthew getting pregnant and deciding to keep it and not knowing who's the father is and haha well the three of them have been. sort of a thing anyways. for the past year so maybe they should just? not figure out? and she's going to miss the rest of the season anyways so she might as well stay in edmonton. the baby's got to have canadian citizenship. surely. also german citizenship. the baby will play for team usa though. i think there are a lot of fun questions to explore like how do you acknowledge you are in a deeply committed polyamorous relationship and also how does having a kid change that. also how does having a kid change YOU and your own definition of love. how do you learn to put faith and hope into the wide changing world and trust that you will be okay no matter what happens. the pregnancy is actually a metaphor, you see,

[the-little-moment]

Sexuality in the Star Wars Universe

This has been swirling around in my head for a while now, so I finally decided to write it down. Hopefully it makes some kind of sense.

This all started when I read a few different fics based in the RepCom universe in which Kal Skirata is homophobic. It's been a while since I read the books, so I can't remember if this is text, subtext, or a conclusion based on the traditional vibes he gives off, but it definitely gave me pause.

Sexuality in Star Wars is such a BIG thing to wrap your head around because the universe itself is BIG and OLD.

I call Kal a "traditionalist" because he's written as being similar to an old Earth guy with traditional views of marriage, family, etc. But I think basing a character's "traditional" values on Earth history is a bit myopic. We earthlings get most of those traditional views from biblical times, right? And we're only about 2,000 years removed from those times, right? Imagine if we were almost 100,000 years removed from them.

You're really going to tell me that, in a universe where human civilization, not even to mention the civilizations of the THOUSANDS of others species in the galaxy, have existed for hundreds of thousands of years, others for far longer, Old Kal is really worried about his boys having sex with other boys?

This universe has literal ancient gods, super powers, millions of religions, interspecies relationships and reproduction, and probably a million different forms of sexuality and expressions of gender between all the different species. It's mind boggling. There are approximately 8 billion people on Earth right now. The estimated number of beings in the Star Wars universe is in the QUADRILLIONS that live across one billion star systems!

My personal take is that humans in the Star Wars universe would have completely different values than Earth humans. I don't see how they couldn't. Hell, humanity has evolved and adapted in so many different ways that there are many "near human" species too.

All that being said, I know the writers of the canon and Legends books had their own problems and prejudices and were, of course, bound but what they were allowed to publish. I'm just saying that I'm really glad that fanfiction writers are open to seeing a bigger picture, cause, like I said, the picture is unimaginably massive and I think we need to stretch our brains a bit to do it justice.

Here's a link to the Wookieepedia article for The Galaxy if you would also like to break your brain.

And the text above is what my husband reminded me existed when I was talking to him about this. 🤣 Bear in mind this was Boba circa 1996.

I'll cover my butt by saying that, sure, it's possible that even in this universe, there are sects that uphold very old-fashioned beliefs, but I think it's hard for us to say that definitively just because we have no concept of how that much history would effect a species. We see everything through the lens of Earth history, when Star Wars humans probably wouldn't be very much like us at all. Just growing up in a world where you knew from birth that there were so many different kinds of people and cultures out there would have an effect on a person's worldview that is difficult to imagine.

I'd love to know what other people think about this, but please be polite and kind. Thank you. 💕

(Oh, and absolutely no shade to anyone who has written about homophobia in their fics. It's a problem we real humans deal with and I totally understand why people want to address it in their writing. This is just coming from my in-universe perspective, that obviously might not be shared by others.)

[kichijouji]

Dreamed somehow I was visiting my mom in my own hometown from far away (IRL my mom lives in oregon at the time of writing this, but my brain treated this as normal). Mom was going to drive and go get something from her apartment near bergfeld park (something to do with a previous dream scenario that I do not remember at the moment) and I wanted something to eat. I told her I remembered there was a Cici's pizza nearby (not accurate to real life), and she told me "please be careful, do you know where home is" and I scoffed because, well, this is Tyler, of course I know where home is. After talking a little more, I told her "I love you", she said it back, then she drove off. I boarded a train (despite tyler not having a rail system) to get to the Cici's pizza (only a few blocks away, for some reason, despite it being across town).

The train seemed halfway like a Big Lots store and a collection of reenacted cursed images. I tried to find a charging cable to buy (on clearance)(dream memory: all my previous charging cables had somehow....burned/got wet when I plugged them in), and angered a couple that was having a dramatic fight (they were both arguing and occasionally dancing to music that sounded like Blinding Light by The Weeknd) right in front of the shelf the charging cables were on. They stared at me and made threats under their breath while I made my way down the other train cars, partaking more weird shit the passengers were doing (one guy drinking a Dr. Pepper can full of beans, a group of people filling a balloon with watercolor paint and water, a woman stealing flowers from various vases across the train, among various things).

Then I woke up because one of my cats (Katchoo) was throwing up on my desk.

What confuses me is the fact that, because I believe in alternate worlds, and that we visit them while we sleep in dream form, why is THIS reality the most coherent and "normal"? There doesn't seem to be any particular reason why when I "wake up", that this current reality is the one where I have the most logical and timeline- based memories, where I can record my experiences in the other worlds, where I feel more "awake".

The reason I subscribe to the belief that dreams are alternate realities isn't just because of the "brain in a jar" idea (to me, whatever you are experiencing is your current reality, even for dreams or schizophrenics, and you have to navigate each one the best way you can), it's the fact that I CAN read clocks and signs and books in dream worlds, and I have memories and knowledge within those worlds.

The problem is, I wouldn't be able to TRANSCRIBE what I see on a clock face, or computer screen, or street sign, or a book, onto paper in THIS reality (this has led me to believe The Voynich Manuscript might be the product of someone's journey to another reality, albeit being somehow awake and physically present in the other reality while they did so). I can READ in dreams perfectly fine, even in places that are unfamiliar or "made up", despite being unable to write down what I read when I wake up or draw a picture of what exactly I saw on either a digital or analog clock. The memories I have within dreams fit perfectly within the timeline of the dream I am having and are coherent to the situation at hand, but often I'm unable to remember them when I wake up.

The only holes in my theory are experiences of other people's dreams, studies done on sleep and dreams, and sometimes my own experiences. For example, if I fall asleep watching a movie, that will influence my dream, which leads me to wonder if I'm not always visiting other worlds in my sleep. But it could be that because my body from this reality isn't physically there in other worlds, that the noise of this reality is just bleeding through to theirs. Other people experience being unable to read words or numbers in dreams at all. I don't know if I'm just spacial or if they are mistaking the fact that they can't transcribe written words from dreams for being unable to read at all. Sometimes I am a completely different person in other worlds in places I do not recognize upon waking up and remembering the dream. Sometimes I'm just me, in the "normal" world with things slightly changed.

[cozza-frenzy]

can you do some doodles of your inner world and maybe describe it? Also what do all the details in your guy's outfits mean.

Terry: Anon you have no idea how long I've waited for someone to ask this question. I already have a few drawings prepared, so let's start with where I'm currently standing - the fronting room! Our inner world is surprisingly complex, and our home is on a dragon-shaped airship - soon to be re-christened The Spirit Of Highwind - and the room we're in while fronting is in the head.

The black circle on the floor is the "fronting circle"; if someone's standing within that area, they're actively in control of all or part of the body. The red couch is where we can sit if we want to when using the "fronting desk" and its floating screens, though we can also stand up or even lay down. We're on the upper deck, and on the lower deck (not pictured here) is a spiral staircase leading upstairs (on the left) and a second couch with a fireplace (on the right). If the doors to the left and the right look out of place - that's because they kind of are. They're not part of the airship but are actually a part of The Distortion - a normally-invisible "layer" of the word that connects all other areas together via doors, controlled by Chaos, our gatekeeper. It put them there as permanent doors so folks in other areas don't have to ask for one every time they want to front. Up ahead of us where we're "parked" right now is the Everfree Forest (the normal-looking trees) and the Deep Woods. The Deep Woods creates its own eternal night under the giant tree; growing in various places up the trunk and in the canopy are Stars Of Hope, a glowing flower that you see almost everywhere in the Inner World.

The glowing stuff below is the Agua Vida; water that spills from Soda Lake, up in the caldera of Mount Discovery. Hope takes many physical forms in our inner world, and the Agua Vida is a potent source of it, having been recently adopted by the rest of the system as a daily supplement. Like a psychosomatic vitamin, adding it to a drink helps restore our energy, keeping us focused on healing. We want to try and use it on the vegetables in the Community Garden (just outside where the ship is "parked") one of these days.

Here's a view of Soda Lake and Mount Discovery from above - based on an in-system pencil sketch I made. Following our mass fusion the inner world changed a lot, so this area (and the internal part of the Deep Woods) are "cut off" from Chaos' Distortion until they're "re-discovered". From what i could tell from flying the airship over it, there's a solidified lava floe down the east side, and water is flowing out of the lake towards the south. We'll get there eventually; for now, most of us are content to stay closer to home as we recover. I just hope the plants and animals native to those areas have survived. That's the main part of our inner world covered at least - while most of us have "domains" of our own that we control access to, after the recent mass fusion, a lot of us aren't able to let other alters in or simply can't remember what the places look like once we leave. Given enough time, this stuff should come "back online" much like our broken fast-travel system. As for the "details on our outfits" - not everything in our PFPs necessarily means something, and we can change outfits in system. I like my hat and I like loud shirts, Vivien's shirt is the CMYK colors used in printing, Roses and Thirteen have each other's colors on their pictures because they're in a Queerplatonic relationship.

But I guess one thing that has been appearing a lot in system after our mass fusion is the Compass Rose. You can see it on the floor of the fronting room, on Dagwood's bowtie and Taffy's cape - Roses has it as part of a tattoo on her arm, and I have it as a marking on my back between my wings. I'm not sure why our brain has such an attachment to the symbol, but I like to think it's something to do with moving forward and being pointed in the right direction.

...Or maybe it's just a SAVE point. Knowing that Undertale left such a huge impression on our system fills you with Determination.

[fruity-boy-bruno]

do you have any non-hylic ocs?

Ooooohhhh so fucking many! That I've been neglecting to draw or think about because my brain has been eaten by hylics brain worms, so some of these drawings are a litttleee old pardon that.

Starting with humans then delving into my bigger freaks (affectionate)

Okay favorite children first! This is Scrape, they/it. I originally made them as a Jojo oc but now they're really outside of it, but they do have a stand named Everything is a Lot. They have pointy ears because that was part of my art style at the time and i just dont think i could separate it from that. Their whole thing is that it was raised in a highly religious and abusive household that it ran away from at the age of 16, leaving their little brother Ami behind (more on him later). They then fell into a life of drugs and shit. Eventually they're reunited with Ami but at some point I'll make a post about their whole sibling lore..

And here's Ami their brother (he/they) He was also initially a jojo oc so has a stand but like I said I mostly moved away from that I just like the designs. He grew up to be a music director at church <3 (couldn't find recent colored art so enjoy this minecraft skin of them)

Speaking of Jojo ocs, this is my jojo oc who actually has to stay in the media, Joshua Jostar, he/him. He wasn't originally going to be a Joestar, just some random stand user so I could use a funny stand I came up with in a crack rp, but my friend made another character imply he was one so I ran with it. His stand is Under Pressure and it doesn't have a humanoid form, it's just a balloon that can inflate inside of any open space that upon inflating is full of cement.

Then there's my guy EGG he/they. He is nonverbal autistic but does know sign language. It's kinda funny to me that they're the one who kinda stuck around when I originally made them as just another character to have to be one I liked more at the time's ex. I think he mostly grew on me because my friend liked him a lot more than the other guy. The other guy is named Apollyon but I have NO GOOD ART OF HIM and his lore is kinda cringe bc I haven't worked on it in like 4 years so he doesn't get his own segment.

So not human but closer than some of the other ocs I have are a couple of angels! I don't really have that in depth of a story to them yet, but they came to me in a dream.. there's other characters associated with them too but I've only really drawn this one. He can't remember his actual name but the kid he interacts with calls him Peppermint. The angels will be enimes to lovers and they will make out sloppy style in the end.

Okay nonhuman time. First I have a couple of Khajit (I think I spelled that right) ocs that are distantly related, who don't really have lore they were just my characters in skyrim and oblivion

And then there's my object head ocs! Eyelyn doesn't have any lore she's just a cool eye lady she/it/xe. And then there's Persistence based on Persistence of Memory he/it/xe. I ran out of picture room but will give pictures of them in the rbs if asked!

I will go much further in depth about any these guys if asked ofc hehe, just didn't wanna go on for toooo long. I also just have a lot of general guys freaks I float around in my head that haven't all been given a form or name yet, just goofy concepts. Like Ami has a bf! But I have to think more about what the guy is like and what he looks like..

(I also have a plethora of danganronpa ocs that I'm not going to dive into but might talk about if I'm asked very nicely.)

[sockeye-run]

Are you guys ready for another massive life update post??

Oy vey, where to begin lol. I think it's only been a week since I've last checked in, but I'm exhausted. In a good way, though, honestly. I've really fallen in love with the bee farm. I'm busier THAN a bee right now lol, but it's not just tedious tasks or some stressful two-step negotiation dance that gets me nowhere, thankfully. I'm just learning, helping, building, and changing my environment where I can. And it's been very fulfilling.

Pictures 1, 3, and 4 illustrate the work I've been putting towards the farm's kitchen. The kitchen was someone's brain child, but unfortunately, no one already had the knowledge, skills, or experience to launch it in a professional way, until they found me. So it has been running haphazardly since 2021. This isn't a slam post, they've been doing their best and honestly, they've been doing great for what all they have. But for someone like me who can walk into an under-functioning kitchen and immediately fix 20 things without a hard thought about it, there's so much improvement to be made. We're working on structuring the environment in a professional, safe, and healthy way, as well as developing new, sustainable, delicious recipes, formulating a permanent and comprehensive menu, as well as providing structured and consistent training to all employees who may have to step into that kitchen. I have the know how, and they have the willpower and the workforce, so we're bringing the kitchen into it's modern form for success and stability. Currently, the farm has contracts with multiple food truck owners, who come out on weekends to provide a fresh food option to patrons enjoying the campus or staying overnight. We hope to move towards being completely self-sustaining and able to provide a full day's worth of meals straight from our own means, which all highlight our most precious resource, our honey. It's been a monumental task, especially since I'm still working full time retail in the shop and bee keeping warehouse, but it's been an exciting project that is rapidly improving every day. We've bought an espresso machine as well as a commercial drip brewer, and soon I'll be training everyone on coffee and craft drinks! Can't wait. I've already made everyone's day by making them their own hand crafted, honey based lattes, and they all seem very excited to start learning.

Picture 2 is our most esteemed bee keepers, Roosevelt, working in the Learning Yard. He's been with the farm for 57 years!!!!!! He's incredibly knowledgeable, talented, and kind. I hope to do more work with him when I begin my hands-on bee keeping education. For now, I'm learning the history and functionality of the farm so that I can give history tours to customers, as well as cementing my basic bee keeping and bee tool/resource knowledge for retail, so that I can most efficiently help our customers find exactly what they are looking for according to their wants and needs, such as a whole beginner's bee keeping set up with brood boxes and bee packages, or answering more advanced bee keeping questions and offering insightful options to unique situations. I also know a butt-ton about the properties, uses, and unique flavor profiles of all our different honeys, and really enjoy giving honey tastings and recommendations in our shop. I already know quite a bit about the many kitchen uses for honey, thanks to my culinary curiosity, and I'm enjoying learning all the uses and applications of other bee related products.

Pictures 5, 7, and 10 are just some slice of life shots: a pop of spring with early wisteria on the farm, the owner's sweet puppy, Chewy, and some customers enjoying the lawn in the afternoon warmth. The weather has been up and down like crazy lately, but we're expecting to get very busy soon as the temperature evens out and rises.

Picture 6 shows me and Kate out and about in town, running errands and being 'go fers' for the needs of the crew. We're about 30 minutes outside of the main area of the local town, so it's kind of a haul to go shopping, but someone's gotta do it. Picture 8 is another queen cage, with one of our first bred queens of the season! You can see her because she has a tiny little sticker on her back for identification and inspection purposes. Picture 9 is inside of our meadery, Wildflyer. I tried some of our mead for the first time last night, just a sip. It was delicious 😋

On a health note, I'm very active all day; lifting and moving heavy objects, running back and forth across the farm, basic working and cleaning duties, etc. I've been blasting past my step goal each day and then some lol. Unfortunately, that means I'm exhausted every day when I get home, and can't fathom running or working out. I do miss running regularly and feel terrible for not properly contributing to the Fitblr Games, but I'm hoping my body will adjust to the new normal soon, and I'll be able to increase my activity level again.