#and if I say he’s literally everything to me?

[ellecdc]

Hey gorg!!!

I saw the post about wanting pregnant reader/ dad marauders prompts and I literally ran here.

I’ve got two ideas, so whichever gives you the most inspiration/ whatever you like best 😂

1- pregnant!reader who just hits her limit for the day- overwhelmed and overstimulated with everything to the point she jsut wants to sit and cry- all because of something silly

Or!!

2- reader on their first day away from baby with the girls- leaving dad!marauders to it, coming back to a baby who’s very excited to be free from the chaos of the boys.

Lots of love!!

-🥟

eeeeeeeek I went with #2!!! thank you my love <3

dad!marauders x mum!reader who saves their daughter from the boys' tyranny [522 words]

CW: kid fic, fem!reader, you have a daughter but I avoided assigning her a name (let me know how ya'll prefer that: do you want me to name the kid? or do you want me to leave it ambiguous? I feel like it would probably read easier/more naturally with an assigned name, but I understand if you like making that up yourself)

“Oh thank gods you’re home.” Sirius pushed out all in one breath as he hastily stood from the couch with your daughter in hand. 

You clicked the door shut behind you as you took your shoes off, furrowing your brows at a frazzled looking Sirius and an equally frazzled looking baby in his arms. 

“You have to help us.” He begged quickly. “They’re driving us mad.”

“What?” You laughed carefully, though you had to admit that your child had a nearly identical pout on her lips as her papa, and you were quite sure babies her age didn’t have the ability to conspire. 

Though, you were sure if any baby could conspire, it would be a baby Marauder. 

“They haven’t stopped all day.” Sirius enunciated, whispering at you and looking over his shoulder as if some invisible threat was going to attack at any given moment. “Jamie got up this morning on a warpath; first we went on a family walk to feed the ducks some corn. Fine, I’ll let it slide. We no sooner got home, and Moony set up the sandbox in the yard. Great. But then, James insisted we go to the park! Which - okay, that was fun, because I got to run around as Padfoot. But then after a mere 20 minute nap, Remus had us out at the stream catching and releasing frogs!”

You awed in sympathy as you brushed some fine hair away from your baby girl’s forehead who was using her two pudgy hands to rub at her eyes.

“You tired, lovie?” You asked the child, but they both whined a yes in response. 

“Okay.” You murmured as you accepted the sleepy child’s grabby hands, only for her to immediately rest her head on your shoulder and melt into your embrace.

“Pads? Where’d you guys run off to?” James called from the other room, and Sirius’ paled. “We’ve got the water table set up.”

“Oh gods,” Sirius whimpered, “they’re coming.”

“Sirius,” you started to chide, but he simply turned and started pushing you towards the hall that led to the bedrooms.

“Go, save yourselves. I’ll hold them off.” He whispered theatrically.

“Sirius!” You squealed, laughing as he pressed a kiss to the side of your head - taking a deep breath as if he was trying to memorise your scent like he may never get the chance to do it again - and pat at your hip. 

“Make sure our baby girl grows up knowing the sacrifices her brave, brave papa made for her.” He offered solemnly, walking backwards as he held your gaze. “Go! Nap! Rest! Waste the day away in ways many of us only dream!” 

You giggled at him as he disappeared around the corner, hearing Remus murmur “what the hell was all that about?” only to hear a grunt, a chuckle, and a theatric “I won’t let you tyrannise our sweet girls any longer!”

“What do you say, sweetheart? Time for a nap?” You murmured as you made your way towards your bedroom; a nap did sound appealing, now that you thought about it. 

An answer never came, however; she was already fast asleep.

[wlfchnlv3r]

I saw requests were open and I’ve literally never sent in a request but you writing is so good I had to

Idk maybe minding x reader if you’re ok with that

Or nerd bang Chan with those glasses bro he looks so good haha

Or virgin reader n Lee know

Whatever one you think would be interesting or feel comfortable writing no pressure you obv don’t have to do any 🫶

Fem reader x gamer!Bangchan

Synopsis: Bangchan is your nerd gamer boyfriend, he is the most lovesick and clingy person you know, especially when he feels frustrated after losing at video games.

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: 🔞, mdni, smut and fluff, pussy eating, vaginal sex, adult language, and bangchan with glasses.

Note: uhm…meow

Bangchan is in your shared bedroom playing video games, but at some point he loses the match and with a frustrated look he lets out a loud sigh, his hand slowly moving up to grip the back of his chair.

He feels annoyed and irritated from his loss since his rank has been dropping lately. A part of him wanted to scream in frustration, his eyes slowly moving over to the bed where he sees you napping peacefully.

Your boyfriend lets out another deep sigh, but his mood beginning to soften as he gazes at your sleeping form.

Standing up from his chair, he quietly approaches the bed, his footsteps soft and careful to not wake you up yet. He sits down on the edge of the bed, his eyes still fixated on you as he studies every feature of your face. A small smile appears on his face as he slowly reaches out to gently brush a strand of hair from your face, his touch light and tender.

You move and open your eyes “channie..? Everything’s ok, babe?” You ask rubbing your sleepy eyes.

Bangchan hesitates silently for a moment, contemplating if he should ask you for something. But in the end, his need gets the better of him as he finally decides to open his mouth and speak “Actually..can I ask you for a favor?”, his eyes moving to the ground for a moment before glancing back to you, curious about your response.

“Of course…” you mumble a little.

“I..really need to let my frustration out after losing at that fucking video games...” your boyfriend says, his voice soft and hesitant as he looks down for a moment, his hand slightly clenching. He can slowly feel the annoyance he once felt from his loss slowly creep up. Bangchan slowly looks back into your eyes, almost as if silently asking permission.

You smiles and raises the bed sheets “come here…”.

A soft, shaky breath leaves his lips as he slowly scoots over to you. Pushing the sheets aside, Chan crawls on top of your body, trapping you between his arms on either side of your head "You..you really don’t mind..?”.

You just nods with anticipation.

A shiver runs down his spine at your response, his need and want for you starting to take over his mind. His eyes slowly scan over your face before moving down to your neck.

Your boyfriend slowly leans down, placing a soft kiss on your neck before moving up to your ear, his breath warm against your sensitive skin “I’m gonna let it out…and it’s all your fault…”.

You giggle “my fault, babe? What are you talking about?”.

He lightly bites your ear as he continues to leave kisses along your neck. He lets out a small chuckle, his hot breath sending chills over your skin “Mhm..It’s your fault for looking so damn cute, for looking so damn gorgeous, and for being so damn sweet to me…if you knew what you do to me..”.

You just look at him with a sincere smile.

Chan slowly pulls away from your neck, his eyes locking with yours. He can feel the need inside him quickly intensifying, a hint of possessiveness and desire slowly growing in his eyes “I need you so badly..” he says with a low, almost hoarse voice before softly capturing your lips in a deep, passionate kiss.

You kiss him back “you need me, babe? wanna make you feel good”.

A soft hum comes out of your boyfriend mouth, the feeling of you kissing him back and your words sending a wave of pleasure through his body. His hand continues to slowly move down your stomach before it suddenly stops, grabbing the hem of your shirt and slowly starts to pull it up slowly “You have no idea..how badly I need you right now..” he says.

“Just let it out…I want you too” you reassure him.

His breath hitches at your words, the possessive and dominant side of him starting to take full control. BAngchan nods, a hint of a growl in his tone as his eyes darkened with desire “Babe, you have no idea..how badly you’re mine right now…how badly I want to dominate, to claim, to mark you as mine…are you okay with that..?” He asks gently.

You start to blush because of his words, you love when he is like this.

His hands slowly pulling your shirt over and off in one swift motion. Your boyfriend quickly tosses the shirt onto the ground before slowly moving in to kiss and bite your neck once again, leaving small marks as his hand starts to move to the hem of your shorts “Then you’re mine, all mine..no one else can see you like this... this side of you is only for me, understand...?" he asks in a deep, dark voice, his lips still against your neck, as he slowly starts to pull down your shorts. Once they were off, Chan moves in between your legs, his body now on top of you.

You smile a little watching the bulge into his sweatpants “damn baby u are already hard”.

He smiles in response, chuckling at her words. His body was already beginning to react to you, the heat between his legs growing more and more with every second passing by.

Your boyfriend slowly moves his hips forward a little bit, pressing his dick onto yo just a bit more as a small soft moan escaped his lips, "What can I say...I was already hard the moment I saw you".

You just chuckle, he is always been impatient, “yes, babe?”.

He nodded, a small amused smile on his lips as he watched her chuckle. Chan presses a little more into her, a small shiver going through his body. His hands slowly slide up and down her stomach in a gentle caress, his touch light and intimate "Mhm...l couldn't help it. Not when my girl just looked so damn good, even when she laid there trying to take a nap...".

You can’t help but smirk, starting to lower his pants and boxer, his pink tip is already wet with precum; You smile with anticipation and caress his tip, you always loved doing it and seeing his reaction.

A soft moan escapes his lips as soon your hand touches his length. His eyes close for a moment as his body shivered in pleasure.

"F-fuck...don't tease me like that... not when I'm on the edge of just taking you right here right now...".

Your boyfriend takes a moment to gather himself, his eyes opening to look back down at you.

His hand slowly moves down her body, caressing her skin softly "I'm the only one who gets to touch you like this, to mark you, to claim you, to make you mine in every way possible...".

You squirm when he starts to rub your clit.

A wave of pleasure washes over him as he feels how badly you want him just from his touch "Look at you...so needy and desperate just from my touch. This is what I was waiting for, to see you this under me”

“C-chan” you whine.

The sight of you so needy and desperate just for him makes his heart race. His hand continues to rub your swollen clit, his touch purposeful and precise.

“C-chan I want more-“ you whine.

A small chuckle leaves bangchan’s lips at your plea. He leans close to your ear again, his voice low and dark as he spoke against your skin "You know...you're gonna have to be patient, babe.”.

He slowly moves his hand away from your wet pussy, bringing it up to gently caress your face softly as he continues to speak

"I'm gonna take my time with you tonight... make you moan and scream my name so much you'll lose your voice.”.

You laugh a little giving him a quick kiss “my favorite nerd wants to worship me”

Your boyfriend returns the kiss, his lips molding with yours in a perfect fit. The title of "nerd" never got old to him "Babe...you know I'm your nerd, and that I love to worship you".

“You are only mine…” you speak with a soft voice.

"Damn right I'm only yours. No one else's".

Your boyfriend’s lips continuing their path downwards, slowly kissing and tasting everv inch of you.

"I want to taste every part of you, claim you as mine..."

An idea pops to your mind “Mhh I like your plan, what do you think about using those sweet lips of yours in a different way?”

Chan slowly pulls away from your neck, a small smile appearing on his lips a he looks back at you "And what exactly would you like me to use those sweet lips of mine on, eh?“.

“Oh, You know what I want…nerd” you tease him.

"Mhm...so desperate to have my mouth on you... is that what you want?".

“Of course, what you think?” You giggle.

He slowly moves down your body, his lips leaving a trail of small kisses as they go. He gets in between your legs, taking a moment to look up at her and admire the view. Seeing you this desperate and in need of him, just for him, is enough to send a shiver of pleasure through him "You're so damn beautiful like this, babe".

You just smile and fix his glasses “so cute babe”

Your boyfriend lets out a small chuckle, his smile widening a bit more as you suddenly fix his glasses. Only you would do that in such a situation and have him feel not even an ounce of annoyance "You're calling me cute when I’m right in front of your pussy?”

You can’t help but let out a chuckle mocking him “I love when your face is between my legs like this, I’m dead serious”

Bangchan hums in agreement, his face mere inches away from your wet cunt.

You gently tangle your fingers in his hair pulling him closer.

He lets out a soft gasp, your touch, no matter how gentle, is more than enough for him to get even more in the mood.

He slowly moves in, his lips just barely touching your skin as he leaves soft, feather-like kisses and his hands slowly move to your hips, his nails digging into your skin a bit as his lips slowly slide closer to your swollen clit.

Your boyfriend can feel how much your squirming under him, eager in anticipation of what's to come.

You moan lightly pulling him more closer.

He finally gives in, his lips and tongue touching your clit “Mhm...so impatient”.

You whimper loudly “f-fuck chan-“ you curse.

He moans softly against your skin as he finally tastes you, his lips and tongue slowly exploring your cunt, enjoying the way you squirm and whimper under him, all needy for his touch.

"You taste so good, babe...l swear I could spend all day just savoring you like this..."

Chan continues to slowly runs his tongue over her skin, his lips and tongue taking their time to savor every inch of you and, his hold on your hips getting tighter as you pull his hair.

"God, I love it when you get desperate for me like this, babe... you look so damn gorgeous like this, all needy and wanting me so badly..." he praises you more.

You close your eyes “god- channie...” you are lost in pleasure. Far from reality.

He slowly starts to speed up his movements, his lips and tongue moving more quickly over her, trying to taste every inch he can since he can't get enough of you.

You are so drawn in the moment that you don’t want him to stop.

Your boyfriend pulls away for a moment to look up at you, a small satisfied smirk on his lips as he sees the state she's in.

"God, look at you, babe...you're such a whiney mess, cause you need me that badly...".

You nod in agreement still with your eyes close “...c-channie...m close” you admit.

"Mhm, you close, babe? You gonna give me what I want?" Bangchan teases "Mhm, since you are so sweet, I'll let you let come for me”.

After a few moments you can’t take it anymore, your legs start shaking a little and you come undone.

He moans feeling you coming for him, that makes him feel a shiver of pleasure as he slowly moves back up to look at her.

"Mhmm, you're so damn gorgeous when you come, seeing you like that, all shaking and moaning, just for me, it’s so fucking sexy” your boyfriend chuckles softly, his breath still coming out in pants as he gazes down at you.

He's still need to fuck you, to claim you as his even more than before, but right now he wants to watch you all pleased and satisfied after coming.

Despite the orgasm you want more, you want to make him feel good, honestly.

"Mhmm, want more, do you, babe?

You want me to take you once more, make you mine all over again?".

You just nod, with a smirk on your face as you start teasing him “you are such a naughty nerd, you know that, right?”

Chan chuckles softly, the sound low and sultry as he moves even closer to you, his lips hovering only millimeters away from your neck "I’m your naughty nerd, babe. Only yours. No one else can have me like this, just you. No one knows me as well as you do... only you can make me feel this way, get me all feral and desperate for you like this"

You laugh a little “You seem so calm and shy but you are such a-“.

"Oh? I seem calm and shy, do I?

Well, I guess that's only with other people, not with you...you bring out a whole other side of me, a side that's possessive and feral and completely addicted to you" he admits.

You are going insane “I'm also addicted to you, chan”.

Your boyfriend slowly smiles, feeling his heart beat faster in his chest at your words.

The thought of you being just as addict to him as he is to you makes him feel more possessive than ever before.

"Babe, I want to claim you again as mine, over and over again, until our bodies and minds are too exhausted for even me to want more" he speaks in a soft tone.

You just take the chance and mock him “you think you can take me till I'm a leaking with your cum?”.

A low, deep groan leaves Chan’s lips at your mockery as he looks down at you with a smirk “you think I can't? You really think my stamina isn't up to the task of making you a dripping mess by the end, babe?" he groans against your skin, slightly nibbling on it “well, I'll take that challenge..."

You start to rub his tip against you as he groans, the sensation of you touching him making it hard for him to think straight, the need for her growing stronger with every second “can’t take it anymore, I need you”

Your boyfriend press his hard cock on your cunt, sliding into you slowly, feeling a wave of pleasure wash over him, his breath coming out in heavy pants as he tries to keep control of himself "F-fuck...you feel so tight around me, I’m going to fuck you dumb”.

“God- Chan…” you whimper loudly taking him so well.

Bangchan moans slightly at the sound of his name leaving her lips, hearing it when you are together like this is quickly becoming his favorite sound in the world "you feel so amazing, babe, l swear that pulling out from your pretty cunt is the last thing I want to do".

You are fully drawn in to his deep movement that make you arches your back and moan.

His hands grips your hips and his fingers starts to dig into your skin from the pleasure "F-fuck, you don't know what you do to me when you look like that, l can't even think straight when you're so goddamn perfect"

“You- you feel so good inside me, babe” you mumble so cock drunk.

Chan’s mind feels like it's becoming more and more undone as he hears your words and the way you look, feel and sounds are driving him wild.

You kiss him in a sloppy way, trying so hard to compose yourself; You clench your legs around his waist to keep you still.

He groans as you cling to him, holding him closer, the feeling of you wrapping yourself around him makes his body burn with desire, only fueling his heat for you.

“ I’m so-so close channie…” you speak in a whisper.

Your boyfriend hears your words, knowing you are close to your climax, and it only makes his mind more clouded with the need to make you completely come undone beneath him “shit, babe, you're gonna give me what I want?" And before he can finish his sentence you come undone, Your mind fuzzy from the orgasm making impossible for you to say anything.

Feeling and hearing you come is driving him even closer to his own release as he lets out a deep, rough groan.

Your walls tightening on his cock are his breaking point, his body completely going over the edge as he comes, groaning your name like it’s the only word he knows.

"F-fuck, y-you're amazing- god...I swear, you're gonna kill me one day”

After a few minutes of shaking breaths you try to move from under him, but Chan chuckle, grabbing onto your hips to drag you back to him “where are you going, babe? I’m not done with you yet, remember the challenge?”

Taglist: @felixleftchickennugget @kiwininja35 @sweetpickledjins @slmnheart @elqivxstxr @catffeinexo-xx @multistancheck @justwonder113 @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @hello-stranger24 @raptorbait529 @cocofia143 @minniesverse

(Comment to be added to the tag list🎐)

[sillyuin]

can i request for svt x grovelling??? I REALLY WANNA SEE HOW THE MEMBERS WOULD BEG FOR ANOTHER CHANCE TO THEIR S/O 😭

Hi anon! sorry it take me so long, I've been really busy with work but here it is.

How svt apologizes after breaking up 💔 (ot13)

Yuin's note: this is purely fiction and my p.o.v. Being honest, as a spanish native speaker I never heard of the word "grovelling" before and I thought I didn't handle the concept properly 😭 but I tried. Any advice is really appreciated.

Scoups, Mingyu, Dino. He’s almost whining for it.

You’ve lost the count of the notifications that came to the phone, and blocking him just doesn't feel right at all (at this point it seems like a good option tho lol). After reading some pity messages you decided to call him and... Oh boy. You didn't need to look him in the eyes to realize he was about to cry, he insists a thousand times that everything has been his fault and that he will do whatever is necessary to make things up.

Jeonghan, Joshua, Minghao. Tries to keep it cool but is not.

After some days with zero contact, you received an unexpected call and he’s inviting you go for a walk; it’s a bit awkward because it feels too quiet but you accept anyways. There is definitely something fishy going on. He seemed very stoic and, respectfully, he apologizes if something he did or said offended you, asking for a peace agreement. But you know him very well and you don't give in, until he's flustered enough to open up about his feelings and begs for another chance with you.

Jun, Dokyeom. Wants to say a lot but his head is a mess.

His mind has simply left this astral plane because, the moment you accidentally ran into him during an outing, he completely froze. He tries to be friendly and makes an effort to address you but his voice is so, so shaky he can’t even say a coherent sentence, making this situation even more uncomfortable. When you decided to leave as quick as possible, It was like the ideas in his head finally connect and asks for your forgiveness in the most desperate way possible, then he breaths and starts speaking out while his face blushes with embarrassment.

Seungkwan, Hoshi. Wants to say a lot and says a lot.

The phone has rung several times during the day and after countless missed calls, you decide to answer just bc you’re tired of this situation. However, as soon as you answer, there's no time to say hello properly when he starts talking as if this were a rehearsed speech. He had never said so many things to you in this lifetime. “I’m sorry for the time I didn’t close the toothpaste” “I’m sorry for making a midnight snack and leaving the kitchen a mess” “I’m sorry for the time I…” And so on for a long time.

Wonwoo, Woozi, Vernon. Straight to the point.

Too straightforward for his own being lmao. He just comes to your apartment with an nice gift and apologized in the most direct way possible, willing to listen to you, no matter how long it will take. Literally left everything behind just to see you :(

[traumatizedjaguar]

thegirlwhocrieddragon

When trans elder, activist, and organizer Miss Major was imprisoned in the 70s, she was put in solitary confinement. Also in solitary confinement at the time was Frank "Big Black" Smith, iconic Black Panther and organizer of the Attica rebellion.

Miss Major said of Big Black, “He’s the one that let me know that during things like the riot or getting justice done—stuff lke that—you can’t throw anybody under the bus. You can't leave anybody behind. And that’s become my favorite thing to say to people: I won’t throw anybody under the bus, and I’m not leaving anybody. It has to include us all, or it’s not going to work.”

It has to include us all, or it’s not going to work.

Sontarangaming

Also, on top of everything else, this operates on the same principle as retributive justice vs restorative justice, in that only one of these plans has a real endgame. Lateral violence happens because we view problems in relative terms—and there’s no way around that. And when you’re approaching issues by trying to eliminate the Bad Things, your brain has a way of making those smaller issues feel big, and it becomes cathartic to rip at that problem and feel like you’re doing your part. Issue is, if you don’t focus on the constructive side of your activism, you end up losing the plot in favor of that catharsis.

Two examples of this from different sides of Discourse would be transmeds, who spend time worrying about who is and isn’t trutrans, and the people harassing celebrities with queerbaiting accusations. In both cases, there are some legitimate grievances, and ironically enough, they’re shared grievances a lot of the time. Both are concerned with the ways that their community is othered and marginalized, and they want to do something about that. But in both cases, they focus on individual, small scale perceived issues, and try and tear down those accessible, small issues, rather than look upwards and see the shared enemy of heteronormative patriarchy that creates these issues in the first place.

In both of these cases, you can tell the issues with their approach by looking at their natural conclusions and seeing where they lead, which in both cases is queer spaces and identity being inaccessibly obscure and heavily gated. Comparatively, if a constructive approach is taken, the opposite happens: if, instead of gatekeeping transition to reserve it for the right people, you encourage people to experiment with their gender identity and expression for their own comfort, you solve the potential issue of people transitioning before they’re ready or certain, without the same shitty side effects. If you encourage people to present how they want, you destigmatize femininity and men and masculinity in women, which benefits everyone.

sealpup9

Also, if your goal is just "finding the next enemy" it's easy to get pulled into the mindset that there is always a scapegoat. And the step after that is literally rallying against groups of people... You see where this is going.

Our goals should always be to improve the lives of those around us. Treating people well and rallying with folks for better treatment. The "Us vs. Them" mentality will just cause damage in the long run and can get you into the habit of looking for enemies. When in actuality we all deserve rights and the ability to live life without issues. Doing little things to help people around you is a good place to start :)

I really do think an important component of activism is to make sure your motivation is based on a desire to help/improve things for the people being harmed by a system, and not hatred for the ones doing the harm. both for mental health reasons, and because either way you're training your neural pathways and it's gonna turn out a lot better for literally everyone if the question on everyone's mind after achieving a goal is "how/which people can we help next, what's the next step for improving things" and not "who do we need to attack next."

I'm not saying don't be angry, there are a lot of good reasons to be angry right now and it makes for an excellent kick in the pants, just don't define yourself by it or it's gonna poison you and potentially do collateral damage.

[sunglassesmish]

i'm actually fucking gutted. and lou sounds like he was just as blindsided as us which makes me ???? and the quote from oliver that he's 'always texting tim' asking to make buck sleep around i'm just ???? i'm at a fucking loss and i'm so so gutted. like what do you mean you've been texting tim that for a while?? lou didn't seem to have a fucking clue! i just feel like they've threw so much away and like for what? and with no signs? literally why

i’m probably gonna make a lot of people mad when i say this but i don’t think oliver really liked lou. or bucktommy. yes it was important to buck and him in terms of the representation and buck’s character development and everything, but not once did i get the vibe he wants them to last. i thought well at least he can act like he does on screen. welp. turns out he wanted them done for weeks, months even probably. i can’t say i’m surprised. i’ve suspected it for months.

[gruesome-beauty]

woke up with julien baker’s badlands cover stuck in my head 💜 (x)

[wish-i-were-heather]

of course trump fucking won. this entire country is fucked and always has been. i went to his instagram to see if him or harris have posted anything and im absolutely fucking disgusted. ive never seen anything more hypocritically racist, sexist, homophobic, and literally discriminating against everything besides white heteronormative christians. but unfortunately there are just as many disgusting people in the world who see themselves in him and are going to vote for him. and they did vote for him. look where that got us. and of course he won because those people voted for him, those people who want to take away human rights. why would a woman win in a country that's sexist?? why would someone of color win in a country that's racist?? and why especially would a black woman who actually cares about people win in a country full of racist, sexist assholes?? ive literally never felt more hopeless than right now. we survived the last times he was president, but his plans for this time are far worse.

if you voted for trump, you voted for a man who only cares about himself. he doesnt give two shits about anyone, republican or not. you elected a homophobe into office. oh, great, you're also homophobic? then think about this. you elected a racist into office. you elected an ableist into office. YOU ELECTED A RAPIST INTO OFFICE. if you dont see the problem with that, there is something seriously wrong with you. if you voted for trump, there is something seriously wrong with you. as a teenage girl who is going to graduate before the next election, youre giving me this absolutely disguisting horrible piece of shit that dares to call himself a human being to deal with. i am genuinly preparing myself to leave the country after i graduate. it was a joke at first, but its nowhere near funny now. if i could leave right now, at this exact moment, i would. i am actually crying right now because i know that there are other people, people who are my friends, who are far more affected by this than i am. you had your vote, and you chose use it to ruin the lives of everyone.

if you voted for trump, have fun telling your daughter, your sister, your girlfriend, your best friend, your niece, your cousin, your mother, everyone, that you voted to take away their bodily freedoms. have fun at the hospital as your ten year old daughter gives birth to her rapist's baby, potentially dying doing so, because you voted away her abortion rights. have fun receiving a text from your nephew telling you that he is hiding from an active shooter because you voted for a vice president who stands behind glass while preaching that school shootings are "a fact of life." have fun watching your best friend, who you didn't even know was transgender because no, you can't "always tell," get fired because you voted away their job security. have fun watching the world around you fall apart because you voted for a dictator, not a president.

send me more hate anon i dont give a fuck. words cannot express how upset i am right now. with everyone. if you voted for a third party or even didn't vote at all, you're just as much at fault. any vote not for harris was a vote for trump. and now trump has the votes. now trump is the president.

if you voted for trump, i would just like to say thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for ruining my life.

[ham1lton]

oo for the lovesick!lando mini smau prompts what about him commenting wedding vows or something sexual on just about every post that contains yn even if its not something he posted , like hamlintomshaderoom posts yn crossing the street and hes practically proposing in comments

author’s note: hi!! so this is in the toxic!y/n and lovesick!lando universe so this is my warning that it isn’t a healthy relationship. this is an au and if toxic fictional relationships are not for you, please don’t read! this is a joke au <3

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

liked by landonorris, land0.mov, lando.jpg and 1,928,091 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: musician yn yln seen in the streets of manhattan as she does some shopping in the city. she was surrounded by fans before being escorted away tos safety by security. her first appearance since the release of her controversial self-titled hit album. thoughts?

view all 287,928 comments

user1: HERE BEFORE LANDO 😁

landonorris: LOVE IT

landonorris: GORGEOUS

landonorris: SHOW STOPPING

landonorris: SALIVATING !!! ONLY SHE CAN DO THAT

landonorris: SHE’S SOOOOOOO 😻😻😻😻😻

landonorris: WEDDING NOW!!!! 💍

-> ham1ltonshaderoom: stop camping out in our comments. we will block you.

user2: the way he literally is obsessed with yn

-> user3: like bro MOVE!!!! we’re obsessed with yn too 😭

-> user4: it’d be cute if it wasn’t cringe

user5: lando norris please can you not text her this

-> landonorris: she blocked me

-> landonorris: temporary setback

-> landonorris: still together!!!

-> user6: need to be as delusional as you. need to get on whatever you’re on rn 😭😭

user7: lando still being whipped after the release of P4THETIC! is insane!!!!!!

-> user8: like she wrote a number one song about how much of a loser you are and you’re still simping 😭 need her badly. i just know she’d change my life.

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

Original Post:

r/AmItheAsshole

Posted by u/p4throwaway1234

AITA for not breaking up with my girlfriend after she wrote a song about how pathetic I am?

okay so, throwaway because this is kind of embarrassing. my (24M) girlfriend (23F) is a singer-songwriter, and recently she released a song. it’s super catchy and doing really well, but it’s… definitely about me. she doesn’t say my name, but the lyrics are about how she’s dating this “pathetic, lovesick fool” who “worships the ground she walks on” and “thinks he’s a prince when he’s really just a jester.”

here’s the thing: i honestly didn’t care 🤷. i know i’m kind of obsessed with her, and yeah, i get clingy sometimes. it’s a joke between us, and i thought that was her way of being playful. i even posted the song on my socials when it dropped because i was proud of her.

but my friends are all saying it’s humiliating and disrespectful, and i should break up with her. now she’s upset because she found out they’ve been telling me this, and she blocked me on everything. i just want to know if i’m the asshole for not immediately dumping her like my friends think i should.

Top Comments:

[deleted]:

“A lovesick fool who worships the ground she walks on”? Bro, she doesn’t respect you. YTA for staying with someone who thinks you’re pathetic.

u/relationshipguru420:

bro, read your own post. she wrote a whole song called about YOU being PATHETIC. and you’re still simping? get a grip.

u/toomuchdrama69:

INFO: Is she still blocked? Because if she wrote a whole diss track about you and blocked you, I think the relationship is over.

u/throwawaydetective:

Wait… is this about who I think it is? If it is, there’s no way this guy doesn’t know.

u/relationshipwreckage:

Dude, she literally called you a jester. It’s giving clown.

u/sadboiforlife:

yta. if my gf wrote a song like that and then got mad when ppl told me to leave her, i’d be out. respect yourself, my guy.

u/wedoresearch:

sounds like she’s making money off your humiliation. yta for staying in a toxic relationship.

OP’s Update:

(two days later)

u/p4throwaway1234

UPDATE: we talked it out and we’re back together. 😊

so after all the drama, we talked and sorted things out. she said she didn’t mean to hurt me with the song—it’s just her way of expressing herself. and honestly? i get it. i love her creativity, even if it’s at my expense sometimes. i told her i’m not listening to my friends anymore, and we’re stronger than ever now. thanks for the advice, everyone! 😁

Comments on the Update:

u/relationshipwreckage:

WHAT?

u/toomuchdrama69:

bro.

u/wedoresearch:

this has to be satire.

u/sadboiforlife:

you have got to be kidding me.

OP’s Replies:

u/p4throwaway1234:

nah, we’re solid. it was all a misunderstanding. she didn’t mean it in a bad way, and we laughed about it.

u/sadboiforlife:

she BLOCKED you.

u/p4throwaway1234:

yeah, but it was just temporary. we’re good now. everyone fights sometimes!!

u/relationshipwreckage:

she made a song calling you pathetic and somehow that’s okay?

u/p4throwaway1234:

it’s art. she’s passionate. i’m her muse.

u/yikesmcgee:

😭 i can’t. you deserve better, king.

u/throwaway1234:

yes and she’s the best. ❤️

u/toomuchdrama69:

no, bro, you’re delusional.

u/p4throwaway1234:

nah, just in love. 💕

u/wedoresearch:

can’t wait for the next song called ST1LL P4THETIC.

u/p4throwaway1234:

and i’d stream it.

u/relationshipwreckage:

you can’t save him.

u/sadboiforlife:

fr. he’s too far gone.

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

[runawaymun]

Two takeaways right now that I really cannot stress enough: 1) We cannot afford to keep spouting the "The American public is fucking stupid" and "Republicans are dumb and uneducated" rhetoric. I have already seen a new resurgence in the past 24 hours. Yes, it's true: One in five Americans are functionally illiterate. Many of them live in states like New Mexico and Mississippi, below the poverty line, with underfunded educational institutions, and very little access to resources to help them. A staggering amount of USAmericans read below a sixth grade level. This is not a moral failing. This is not their fault. This is a societal failing, an infrastructure failing. We've been failing the rust belt for decades and it's only getting worse. And it does not help our cause if we continue to turn up our noses and say they're all stupid cousin-kissing hillbillies who deserve what they're getting. That only helps Trump. That is how we got here. The division only helps the people in power to keep up the grift. As long as we continue to disparage and underestimate working people from the Midwest and the American South, we will continue to lose. They are tired of being condescended to, and that is why they like Trump. He at least pretends (badly, but he at least pretends) that he cares about their interests.

Remember this bit of propaganda?

All the way back from 1754?

We have to stop fighting each other. We cannot afford to continue saying 'Trumpers are stupid and hateful and uneducated' and continue this us-against-them mentality. It is JUST as bad as my Midwestern parents who say that Democrats are evil satanic child-killing communists. I grew up steeped in that environment. I fully believed it. Many people are just as scared as you are. They are working with the information they have. They believe they are doing the right thing, just as you do. They are watching their communities literally disintegrate and the only person that promises to bring them jobs is Donald Fucking Trump. And he is employing every propaganda tactic in the book to grift them. A big part of the lies the Republican party loves to spout is that they're persecuted and they're underdogs -- I grew up in this environment. It stems from an Evangelical worldview that to be righteous is to be persecuted. Disparaging these people, insulting them, condescending them, only feeds this narrative. The only way I got out of this mentality was by having access to community college, meeting kind people outside my bubble who were willing to have a conversation with me, and finally getting education that wasn't steeped in evangelical propaganda.

I invite you all to go and watch Megan Phelps-Roper's TEDtalk (or read her book, it's excellent) about how she left her family's cult. The only thing that broke through that fog of 'We are persecuted and therefore righteous' was when people stopped throwing cups of hot liquid and piss at her (when she was a child!), and started being kind and empathetic. We all can stand to learn a lot from stories like hers. The second that evil god-hating people started being kind to her was the second she began to question everything she'd been taught.

Yes, it's very easy to look at these people spewing hateful rhetoric and label them as evil. But they're not. The people exploiting all of us are evil. The people exploiting fear and division are evil. We need to call for accountability with news outlets, to fund grass-roots efforts to give adults with educational gaps access to help. Many of them simply could not continue going to school because their families were impoverished and they had to work so they could fucking eat. Many of them have undiagnosed disabilities because they do not have insurance to even go to a doctor. To be ignorant is not a moral failing. Willful ignorance? Absolutely. But ignorance, no. The only thing we can do now is be kind, invite people into discussion, and remember that the only enemy is the oppressor in power who views everybody as pawns and dollar signs. We are all the same to them.

2) Please do not fall into the trap of thinking this means that your vote does not count. Voting is more important than ever. You need to vote in your local elections. You need to. The Senate and the House are the lawmakers and the people in charge of declaring war. They have term limits. They are not untouchable. They are the only people now who are capable of checking Trump. And your local mayors, councils, etc are the people who are going to make the real difference between public healthcare, good education, censorship, civil rights, housing, etc. States have an immense amount of freedom to operate. That is how I have access to incredible free healthcare in mine. That is how we have one of the best public transit systems in the country. That is how we placed penalties on industries and got rid of smog and heavy pollution in the 70s. That is how we have gay bars and drag brunches and well-funded libraries. That is all local-government stuff. If you want your communities to change, you HAVE to vote locally. Please, please, please do not give up and think your vote doesn't matter. It does. It matters immensely.

[blossoms-phan]

tit summary/thoughts/spoilers under the cut!! <3

hiii wanted to make one of these just so I can ramble about everything bc what a crazy night LMAOO gonna make another post about the day so this is just about the show

my soul left my body when the lights went dark omfg, that is literally one of my favourite parts about concerts/live shows. the smoke and lights was a lot but the second they came out it’s like everything cleared up, i loveee how they come out with their backs to us and then the happy silly music when they’re running around saying hi hehehehe

the whole intro/beginning part was so fun i just loved the bits when they were just talking to us, canada love, the history of dnp/why we're all here etc etc. the dolls/diorama is such a fun little phistory recap, though i will say it was not as wild as i was maybe expecting or what they've done on other nights lol. they "wrestled" in the first one, nothing in the manchester apartment, "kissed" (69-ed lol) in the london one and that was it but they were all SO well made (shoutout pj and sophie), i loved phil's hoodie for the 2 apartment era hehe

role model or no-le model: very fun section, i wish i could tell you all the fill in the blanks we did but i can't remember for the life of me lol i shouted yaoi so loud for all of the lawyer dan ones but alas :( but i do remember lawyer dan writes erotica about timbits, then when the side by sides came up on the screens after it had been changed to "Phim Phbits" which made them both genuinely laugh it was so sweetie. we killed regular dan and doctor phil

phanspiracies were: toilet, clothes, tour bus and wedding. honestly very solid picks, it was so surreal seeing those "phan proof" comps of them wearing the same clothes on the screen down to the zoomed in picture of the underwear from the christmas cookies video 😭 the tour bus clip will never not be crazy but it was SO funny bc we cheered so loudly after phil said it was true that they shared the bed and dan was judging us but all i could think about is the stunned silence from phantwerp day one, i will never forget listening to that live and it's probably been so entertaining for them to see the shift from that lmao. the wedding edits were so funny dan was like "i know you had that as your desktop background for 6 years" and someone behind me was like "YES I DID", dan's little kick and cheeky smile at "i'm just opposed to anything traditional" ok sure

i can't remember which section this was during it was something to do with discussing a past era but phil said "maybe I was just horny" and i screamed lmao

the boxing segment ajdjkskjsf i have been waiting for it my entire goddamn life tbh and it was so fun. no one told me about the visuals on the screen ok why do they look so GOOD in them?? i wasn't actually expecting them to knock each other out or anything but it did seem a tinyy bit tamed down from what i've seen before, like they were being very gentle with each other lol but it was cute, the bite was still bite-y and the run around the theatre was craaaazy, the camera following them is so good lol

they yapped for moose. meese. meeses for a minute straight and i forgot it was supposed to be a bit it was so natural they're good at it whether they like it or not

oh yeah that's the other thing. they are fucking INCREDIBLE performers. like, they are so good at what they do and it was one of the highlights of my life getting to experience it irl. the show is incredibly well paced, the script is funny, the audience participation makes it but it's so insane to see how well they work together. the comfort and familiarity after so many years plays a huge part (there was a solid like 7 shoulder touches btw) but their dynamic is soooo good, they play off of each other so well. literally everything @cheekyvank described to me about dan as a performer is true. he was ALWAYS moving, he moves his mouth and bends and grooves and does the absolute most but it's soooo natural, like he has so much fun doing it. that man is a theatre kid all grown up and it's incredibly endearing but he's also a master, like he was MADE to be on a stage, he's so fucking good at balancing between roasting and teasing us and pointing out at people and winking and he called out someone filming without actually saying anything and it was so smooth and lowkey hot but also like jesus i didn't even risk TRYING to take a picture i am sooooooo scared of him. also thanks to you @jonsaremembers i was looking forward to the 4 g's all night, i am their geeky girlie forever and ever 🫶

and phil. oh my sweet precious baby angel. my heart was burstingggg with phil love all night. he is so, so so so good literally everything right with this world tbh. you can tell he has SO much fun on the stage as well, there's moments where his smile softens or he just looks out onto the audience and i want to shower him with love and affection (and we did! i honestly think one of the loudest screams was for "normal phil" during role model hehe). he is so effortlessly funny, the silly little run over to the microphone every time for the "hiatus" was one of my favourite bits of the show. i absolutely loved his getting real with us bit, it reminded me so much of his youtube videos- and i hope he knows how powerful and meaningful that "light entertainment" is for us. his voice was soooo soft and gentle it was like we were his children he was talking to which i guess we kind of are in this context. i love him forever and ever

sister daniel. INCREDIBLE follow up. i knew it was coming and nothing prepared me for Her. another part of the set design/production that is so well done, the visuals and the bass dropping when she comes out is SOOO fucking good. i have never screamed so loudly in my life. i would do anything she asked me to. the underwear were so fucking short i could not see a THINGGG like. fucking hell. lots of pulling the dress down and legs crossed/staying sat the whole time though lol which fair but the confessions and water spraying was fun, it will never not be funny when dan shames people for opening their mouths after they say it's sister daniel's bath water lmfaooo

the SONG!!!!!!!! the most fun. in the entire world. it's so good it's so fun. the lyrics, them going FULL boy band mode, the hands folding over and doob grab was infinitely more devastating irl. dan is so fucking good at the dance i love you forever terminal theatre kid and i think phil has reached the peak of how well he can do it and i want to give him his flowers for trying his damn best every time you keep doing you baby. the part where it kinda slows down and they're just doing the geekiest moves ever like those are my BABIESSS dfjksajdks standing up to rave with dnp in a room full of phannies was the highlight of my entire fucking life.

this was SO much longer than i anticipated and i'm probably still gonna go on about things as i remember it but it was genuinely the most fun and memorable night of my life. i love these two silly little guys so much, it was so surreal seeing them in person after over a decade and i would do anything to experience it again but i'm so, so grateful i got to do it once and i will cherish the memories forever. and this has only made me more insane about them and cemented the fact that i wholeheartedly believe they love us, this new era, and that they're not going away anytime soon so i WILL see you guys back on the internet and hopefully outside of it one day again too <3

(i lied here’s the one picture I took aka far from dan’s prying eyes during the part where they’re not there being gay getting out of their clothes)

[gem-de-lune]

Daily Vibe Check 11/6

(Side note, but don't yall think it's funny that the day I said we would get news abt Seunghan that we literally got news abt Seunghan 🤣🤣)

Seunghan Today:

The Wheel + The Hyerophant

He is still in that same energy of accepting what is about to come. There is good luck on his side, and despite not having complete stability he feels stable. He feels good about where things are going. And he is in a good mood.

What is he doing today?

Queen of Chalices + 7 of Swords + 2 of Pentacles

This is serioussssllyyyy sussy. About what I said about waiting around for an answer with a plan? This is it. The 7 of Swords indicates something fishy is afoot here....he is sneaking around doing something?? It seems to relate to the 2 of Pents rather than the Queen. Meaning he is being sneaky regarding a decision' or regarding juggling/weighing some options. I think this pertains to this plan I spoke of previously. With yhe queen the energy is that he is self consoling or being consoled and calmed by another person- or someone is helping him with or through this ongoing event in general.

So sus.

How did the meeting go yesterday?

8 of Wands + 3 of Chalices + the Stars

This is a good omen, the 3 of chalices reminds me of the 3 of pents we pulled for the meeting check in outcome yesterday. Very collaborative and positive vibes, it's a feeling that brings people together for enjoyment. The 8 of wands indicates some rapid movement happening as an effect. If we look at everything in sequence, there is a consensus that rapid movement is under way to celebrate something people have been hoping to hear, to bring it into the physical realm/reality. So this is a very good omen for our cause.

Has the official decision been made?

8 of Chalices + 9 of Wands

I would say yes, it has. There seems to have been a shift in perception for a lot of people who maybe had different conflicting views on the matter of Seunghan's return. As these things were addressed, a change occurred and many disillusioned people saw the light. I think a huge highlight was the protection of artists. With the 9 of wands, we are seeing boundaries being upheld. There is a huge shift in what SM finds appropriate fan behavior- and they are starting to realize what heinous acts they have dismissed as normal reaction up until this point when they are actually harrassment.

Will the Public recieve an answer today?

2 of Swords

Maybe. There is a strategy being thought of in which they are not certain, which will lead to the best outcome. But it looks like they will be weighing them out with their eyes closed, or honestly, pick out the two fave choices and flip a coin. They may make a gamble here. But personally I think no answer today.

When will we get an answer?

2 of Chalices

This bot only indicates the answer may be very good and maybe made in a way that pleases people, but the number 2 pops out. The number 2 also popped out for the 2 of swords....👀👀👀 AND if you remember yesterday's shareholder meeting read- the number 3 for 3 days popped out.....so it may be in 2 days now. But could be 2 hours (i hope). I don't think 2 weeks or months is appropriate.

The "woman" Supporter

A few of yall were asking if this lady:

Was the one on Seunghan's side. I pulled a few cards for this

4 of Chalices + High Priestess

It appears as though she may be involved, but she is not a blind follower or lover of Seunghan's reinstatement. It appears she is thinking about things very logically from her business and role's perspective. So, rather than being a blind advocate, she offered evidence that supported Seunghan's reinstatement.

What exactly did she do?

2 of Swords

Very interestly, it seems she may be responsible for the "plan" we have been speaking about, especially because her roles deal with the global market. I think she has something to do with the ideas and implementations of this plan or how to proceed from here.

No notes today but I hope all of yall over 18 in the states voted today 😠

[meanbossart]

Ask compilation: DU drow, Orin, Astarion, lore things and little fun facts.

Trying to make a dent in this dang inbox. As always, thank you so much everyone for your patience and curiosity! Sorry that it is straight up no longer possible for me to reply to everyone, but I will keep doing my best within reason. Enjoy!

Absolutely! I had a lot of requests for bottom Astarion on my patreon which is why I was kind of on a roll there for a minute.

Though, for the record - I am really not very invested in strict bedroom roles at all. Or clear and distinct dominant/submissive dynamics. So please don't overthink it whenever there's a switch, no pun intended.

You wanna know how often they smash? Man, I don't know, I guess fairly often considering their lifestyle post-game (very active, often on the road).

Assuming that everyone agrees that sex doesn't have to involve penetration, I'd say once every other day or less, really depends on the circumstances though. DU drow's libido is much higher than Astarion's, but he's not an animal and can hold off fine. Astarion is likely to be pickier in regards to location and how-recently-have-we-bathed status as well.

I keep meaning to draw him, but I have like... A million things I want to do 😂 so its rough!

BUT you will at least continue to see him in ANE! And I'm sure i'm bound to draw him again in the future.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

If you mean in his bhaalist "AU", where he has the red robe and the extra scars, I imagine he would have gotten it through killing Isobel.

I think as a changeling she probably has the ability to just... Transform her hair however she likes at will, right? And based on her attitude plus some lines we get from Sceleritas about her own former-butler, it sounds like she would be really opposed to being serviced in that way, to me at least.

I see her as pretty aggressively independent with the way she operates, which is another factor that sets her apart from DU drow, who really enjoyed lording over the other Bhaalists and making an errand boy out of Sceleritas, to the point where he practically depended on their help to function.

Neither! I wasn't willing to let anyone take either of my eyes in my first playthrough, LOL.

I have since always given the Volo eye to SOMEONE, usually Gale, but I don't consider that canonical. I don't think anyone was desperate enough to let mister frumpy-hat over there ice-pick their eyes out.

He did do them himself. It was a profoundly stupid display he got caught up in because of Gortash. Also, de-handment is kind of a theme in his life, at least inside his head.

I have a comic about it planned for the future ;)

What do you mean, that's canonical to the game and everything! He loves the cuck chair!

He is an angsty 29-year old in denial. Your interpretation is still perfectly accurate.

Hates the guy. Hates when Shadowheart Astarion people joke about him being the Drizzt of his generation. Hates the guy like literally any countercultural weirdo hates Taylor Swift or the Weeknd. If he saw him at the line in the grocery store DU drow would find a way to roll his eyes loudly just so he could notice being an asshole.

Stay tuned, I'm cooking 🧑‍🍳

If you're asking about game strats, badly, LOL. Pretty sure I died twice to her in my first run and it was a rough way of being thrown into "serious" DnD combat.

With the exception of a couple of encounters that just so happened to turn out SURPRISINGLY cinematic, I'm just realizing that I actually don't think too often about how most of the fights went in real-time! I imagine Autie Ethel's in particular wasn't one that DU drow went into of his own accord, probably rather at a companion's insistence. That's as deep as I've thought about that personally.

Now... Back to game strats. I personally try to get a surprise round on her however I can by sneaking and shooting an arrow or AOE in her general location, since she always stands on roughly the same spot while invisible. I have my companions spread about the arena so we can take her clones down as fast as possible, and as soon as I identify who the real Ethel is I just have the strongest martial characters wail on her until she begs to be let go. Hers is one of the few fights that is actually pretty dang easy at this point for me - and I SUCK at this game.

That would certainly take a while! But, Bhaalist DU drow does kind of have an end goal, actually.

That might also turn into a comic eventually, but it would a rough one.

He pretty swiftly disposed of her, DU drow doesn't like being talked down to, which Minthara very promptly does. Him (and I, by extension) had very limited exposure to her and she was just kind of a speck of dust in his story in particular. Though I have since grown to adore her character in my proceeding runs where I do recruit her!

I guess if he got an invitation and it wasn't particularly painful to arrive at the venue, sure! He would specially love to take Astarion to Gale's wedding ceremony and purposely upstage him at every at every opportunity, LOL.

Yes. He got pretty freaky with the pain-priest. This is gonna sound like a lie but I made him get naked for it without even knowing there was a buff to be gained (I didn't get it, unfortunately, I don't remember whether I failed a check or if I had camp clothes toggled on, so it didn't count as being truly nude). I wasn't taking the game very seriously and just doing dumb roleplay things to see what would happen, LOL.

And I consider that canonical. I think DU drow saw the opportunity to show off his physique And had a strange inkling that this was a practice he was... Somehow familiar with.

Imagine my joy when Astarion and Shadowheart start having a back-and-forth about my absurd display. That's when i knew those were my people, to be honest.

[senseandaccountability]

the healer has the bloodiest hands

I wrote some thoughts after the finale of Veilguard. Solavellan heavy.

This is just me, parsing through some feelings. "My people had a saying long ago -'The healer has the bloodiest hands'. You cannot treat a wound without knowing how deep it goes. You cannot heal pain by hiding it. You must accept. Accept the blood to make things better."  Solas to Thom Rainer in DAI.  ***

One can wonder, of course, what Mythal has to do with a Solavellan reunion and Solas’s choice to become the Veil’s protector, but hear me out. 

It is significant that it’s Mythal because she is the embodiment of his terrible past, the epitome of their brilliance and boldness and good intentions turned to terrible truths. The horrors they did, they did together. It is significant that it’s Mythal that sets him on this new course by removing the chains of his guilt and regret. Lavellan can’t do that, she didn’t forge them. Solas’s journey as the Dread Wolf begins and ends with Mythal. 

Mythal literally pulls Solas out of the Fade to use his wisdom, first to not lose herself to the other gods' vanity and brutality, then to gain advantage against them in an endless power struggle that breaks them both, I’d argue, though most significantly it breaks Solas. Retribution and revenge has no room for understanding, there is no wisdom in conquering. And Solas, for all his faults, isn’t brutal or cruel, doesn’t want power for his own gain. Instead he’s wise and creative, doomed to see the faults of his actions even as he carries them out, arguing in vain that the Evanuris too must see it - don’t cross these lines, don’t do it like this, don’t warp and twist your powers to forces of destruction. You must know this is madness! He objects to the creation of the bodies for the ancient elves, objects his own People’s physical creation. Did the earth not shake? It did, it was horrific and it was wrong and he knows this and it doesn’t matter. What he wants has never been part of the equation. 

Even when he breaks free from Mythal, when he burns her mark off his face, he never stops fighting for the world she once wanted. Because otherwise? Should he stop? Then all that he has done, all that he has given up, all that has been demanded of him both as Mythal’s lapdog and the Dread Wolf, leader of the rebel armies for centuries, cloaked in a persona of strategy and battle orders - all of that has been for nothing. He has made a ruin of himself, of the world, for nothing.  So he begins again, he picks up the pieces, he swears to make it right, to fix what he broke. That’s how he perceives healing, that’s what he thinks he is doing. But you cannot heal pain by hiding it. That’s why the Crossroads are falling apart with the manifestations of Solas’s greatest regrets, that’s why he needs Rook to escape his own prison, that’s why a Regret demon burns through Skyhold.

Solas traps the Evanuris as a final act of the ancient times, the creation of the Veil an embodiment of everything he and Mythal ever were - protection, benevolence, retribution, wisdom, pride. He ties it to the blood of the Firstborn out of spite and anger and it wrecks the world in ways he could not foresee. In ways he cannot fix because you cannot fix what has already happened.

You must accept. Accept the blood to make things better. He holds himself like a broken thing in front of Mythal and you can see it as submissive or as a man finally letting his grief out. There, at long last, he stands beaten and bloodied and blighted and he cries for all that was lost, all that he did and all that was done to him, all the things he cannot, cannot undo. And then: a new way forward.

In willingly binding himself to the Veil he embodies the best of those old myths, the All-Mother and the Breaker of Chains, as he breaks the cycle of punishment and grief and protects the sun and the moon. This oath, as opposed to the oaths of the empire that made him, is not to someone but to everyone, to all the innocents of the world. Instead of being the one who makes the terrible sacrifices of other people - the things I have done - he becomes the protector of the world that his people broke once upon a time. Instead of being the Creator of a new world without the Veil - the god he vehemently does not want to be, that he arguably thinks nobody should be - he becomes a caretaker, a guardian. A healer with bloody hands. And yes, it takes Mythal to break Mythal’s hold over him. You cannot treat a wound without knowing how deep it goes. And this one goes deep.  But it’s Lavellan who brings him the light in this story. It’s Lavellan who breaks through the dark, transforms it into something hopeful. 

His prison construct in the Fade was terrible, an abyss of regret made to hold a god. An ancient punishment for ancient crimes but times change, people change, the People change for better and for worse and here Lavellan stands in all her mortal imperfection, offering him not a way to change the past - where all these ancient beings are stuck - but a way to mend the future. It will be a terrible place, he tells her, saying I am terrible because the Fade shifts around our beings. It won’t be terrible, Lavellan argues. Because I’m there with you, walking the dinan’shiral with you, all the way. He doesn't have to fix anything first, he doesn't have to change for her, he just needs to stop hurting the world, hurting himself. Because she loves him, despite all the terrible mistakes he has made. Because she knows all his names, from Dread Wolf to Vhenan, she knows the power of his mind and the fires of his love and she saw more than most of the man he is. The man he wants to be. For a little slice of time there in Skyhold he was that man, he was seen and he saw. He saw the world filtered through her and could forgive it, he saw her through his own ancient, tired eyes and he fell in love no matter how much he thought he did not deserve it. You don't have to deserve love, or mercy, it doesn't demand anything in return, holds you to no oath. It is a gift, freely given. That's what Lavellan offers him by holding out her hand there, at the edge of everything. That's where the light slips in.

She’s real, which means everyone is real and she changes everything, because she can.  Ar lasa mala revas. 

[kitsungari]

I was talking to my professor today (yesterday I guess? Idk I haven't slept) and he said this exact thing. He was talking about how he felt in high school when Nixon was elected during the Veitnam War and watching the leaders of the Civil rights movement be murdered. How nothing can heal the loss of the tens of thousands of victims that came from it but it wasn't the end of the civil rights or anti-war movements.

He was telling me about being a public defender during the Rodney king riots and when the three strikes laws came out, saying that his job was to fight the uphill battles for as long as he could--that's what being a lawyer means to him. You get your clients with one foot already in the grave and you fight for them anyway, and you fight for them with everything you have. And things always shift in cases and trials. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse, but they always change. And when you do that, you win more often than you'd think, and often times even if you lose, you don't lose everything. 20+ years defending mostly gang members against the capital murders and he never had a client put on death row.

Now this was an old lawyer talking to a budding lawyer about how to go on, but I think the philosophy is broadly applicable. Just because you take some (or many) knocks doesn't mean you can't get back up and punch a bully's teeth in (figuratively, literally, were flexible here).

Well, all the people saying this would be a repeat of 1968 were right on the money

[bidisasterevankinard]

"Soulmate 3s au where Tommy accidentally tells Buck about Daniel"

I'm *sat* and listening

ok so here's a little pasrt of the main scene of the fic

“Hmmm, I’d said a broken shoulder for Tommy around two years ago. It felt so bad I cried for hours and it wasn’t even my pain,” Evan says, frowing his pretty face.

Tommy nodded remembering how bad it felt. He was hiking with a friend, till he saw a kid and danger and rushed to help. He did of course, but managed to fall from the three, breaking his shoulder. 

“I’d really wish to be here for him,” the smile that Evan sends him makes Tommy swallow so many words he wants to screen from roofroped but he’s not sure Evan is still ready for it. He’ll ask. Soon. For now just having Evan in his life is enough.

“And now the most interesting part of our program today, let me bet, it was the truck that literally was on your boy’s leg,” Howie winks and Maddie nudges his shoulder when Evan throws a napkin at him saying “too soon man”.

“Nuh, first you said the worst  pain when we weren't around. I was there helping to save him and all the rehabilitation,” Tommy says and everyone nods. He knows it's the perfect opening and he goes for it. Because he needs to be absolutely sure Evan is fine after what happened to him when he was 6 months old. And he just needs to know what exactly it was. He can’t live without knowing anymore.

“But it’s definitely his worst pain since he was 6. But no, I’d wish I was there for him when he was 6 months old and going through the worst pain that any baby should never feel. Can I know what it was by the way? Were you sick and needed some kind of treatment?” he looks at Evan who looks shocked at him. Everything is silent while Evan tries to find his words.

“To-Tommy, what yo-you talking about?”

“About the awful pain in your leg for a long time and aches for days after. I was 7 but still remember how I was crying in my nonna’s hands for hours.” Tommy says not seeing any recognition on Evan’s face.

“I was in the hospital when I was a baby just for check ups and vaccinations. Tell him Maddie” Evan turns to Maddie who looks like she sees the ghosts. “Maddie?” Evan’s voice changes to suspicious and his eyes go red. “ Do-do you know anything about this?”

Maddie puts her glass that she was holding not moving, turning to look at evan with her lip bitten and Tommy already knows he should have never asked. Because the truth seems too big to know. But at the same time? He is happy he asked. Evan deserves to know.

“You were in a hospital for your checkups and vaccinations, but not only,” Maddie swallows with tears in her eyes. “You were a healthy baby, but,” he voice cracks, and next thing she whispers if not the silence in the loft no one could have heard it, “Daniel wasn’t. He was our brother, Evan. He … he had leukemia. We-we basically lived in the hospital.”

[chewnotchoke]

like no one else can

ೃ࿐ boynextdoor as your situationship

this was fun to write,,i was wondering if i should make individual fics abt this...what do yall think? ^__^ feedbacks and comments are appreciated ! and also my ask is always open if u wnna chitty chat <3

warnings: fluff, intense pining, light angst, signs of red flags

wc per member: ~250-400

sungho

“i’m trying to understand what am i to you?”

𓍯 situationship with sungho would be filled with a lot of "almosts" that keep you guessing, excitement, and unexpected outcomes. he would have this easygoing, carefree attitude as if he truly enjoyed your time together, but he’s also hard to pin down. he would bring you as his ‘plus one’ to parties or events and he has once invited you to a family outing “as a friend”

𓍯 sungho likes to do actions that you couldn’t help but assign meanings to these little things. he would give you a bite of his food in between laughter and throw tiny comments such as “i thought about you the other day.” the way he laughs at your jokes, recalls small details you mention, and checks up on you in between classes makes you question if he does the same with other people. if you didn't witness him opening doors for people, helping classmates with their homework, and giving the same endearing smile to anyone in need, it would be quite easy to convince yourself that the things he did to you meant something.

𓍯 when you mention being cold, he casually throws his hoodie over your shoulders and says, "just give it back whenever." yet it stays with you for days and he doesn't bring it up either, as if sharing his hoodie has become a relationship between you two. but when you decide to give it back, your heart aches to see another girl wearing his hoodie.

𓍯 the combination of highs and unanswered questions would be thrilling, and his charm would entice you to return for more. but the question “what am i to you” hangs in the open air because then, if you really meant something to him, he wouldn’t have treated others the same way he did to you.

𓍯 was it mutual at some point? maybe, or maybe not.

riwoo

“i know it’s casual but i look for you in a room full of people”

𓍯 likes having alone time with you. plans a hang out with your friends to watch a movie but the truth is he didn't invite anyone else just so he could watch the movie and spend time alone together. at the end of the movie, you'd just be wiping off your lips because you spent the whole time making out.

𓍯 situationship with riwoo is almost like a secret. he knows how to pull you towards him, and the relationship has you on chokehold. most of the time, he makes moves that make you question the very foundation of your relationship. he acts like he likes you. but does he actually do?

𓍯 during a chill drinking celebration at your friends' house, both of you always find a reason to text each other even if you're literally in the same room. that one time when you were seated a little too far from him, he pulls out his phone, typing under the table making sure no one gets a peak of his message, he would send you, "you're too far from me :(" it seems as though the thread that binds you is stronger than everything else, and every communication feels like a secret that only the two of you know. you'd look up from your phone to give him a glance and he gives you a subtle look—the look that even when you try to look away, you could feel his eyes settled on you.

𓍯 his red flag would probably be saying things like, "would you be jealous if i went out with someone else?" or talking about his ex. but right when he gives you enough reasons that he's not good for you, he pulls the "what would it take for us to stop pretending this isn’t more than casual?" card.

jaehyun

“you say we’re just friends but why do you look at me like that when no one’s around?”

𓍯 when you clearly don’t look like you’re just friends but it’s becoming a running joke now–jaehyun responds without skipping a beat whenever someone arches an eyebrow and asks if there is more going on between you and him. he casually replies, “we’re just friends.” and each time you force a smile that falls short of your eyes, you nod along.

𓍯 jaehyun has this habit of leaning towards you whenever he laughs, sometimes his head falls on your shoulder for a moment which kinda makes you flinch during the first few times but now that you’re used to it, you let your heads touch each other when you laugh together.

𓍯 when he spots you alone leaning outside the glass door at a party, you feel his presence slowly approaching you and then he simply stands there in comforting silence, staring at you in that familiar way, without saying anything at first. when you told him that you get more comfortable attending parties because he’s around, he’d flash a smirk, and his eyes return to the expression he always gives you when no one else is there. jaehyun looks intensely at your face as if he’s searching for something–searching for a sign.

𓍯 you can’t resist yourself to ask him a question if he’s sure about it. “sure about what?” his tone is gentle, and the corner of his mouth twitches as if he clearly understands what you are saying. “sure that we’re just friends…” you replied. jaehyun pauses before responding. he just looks at you, his eyes darting to your lips and back to your eyes, a spark there that he tries to conceal but can't quite get rid of. he lets out a tense and nervous laugh. “yeah, we’re just friends.” but his words were laced with hesitation and uncertainty. and there you thought, maybe the look he gives you is enough, for now.

taesan

“you treat me like this because you know you're my weakness.”

𓍯 taesan knows how flustered you get when he touches you. during lunchtime with your other friends, you tried to ignore how he sat closer to you than usual. when your friends make a joke and others laugh along, you try so hard to focus but you just can’t seem to grasp the fact that his knees and yours were touching. then, his fingertips lightly touched your leg, so gentle at first that you nearly questioned whether it was an accident. however, taesan’s hand becomes steady and warm, and you can only sense his calm presence. you attempt to maintain a neutral appearance on the outside as your heart twitches and your mind attempts to process the unexpected sensation. his smile is as laid-back as ever, and he continues to laugh with the group as if this is nothing unusual.

𓍯 situationship with taesan can be a little frustrating. he likes to give you mixed signals. he’s mostly all about you most of the time and he holds eye contact like you’re the only person he could see. but then the next day, he barely acknowledges your presence. he’s quiet and doesn’t speak to you. but you know what’s bad for you? the fact that you'd fold immediately bcs he really just knows how to give you butterflies right when you think he’s not interested. taesan would come up behind you, whispering to your ear saying, “i missed you today.” and you would quickly fold like you didn't just question everything about him.

𓍯 at some point, the feelings were mutual. but you got tired of going around in circles waiting for nothing to happen, so you just decided to move on and bury your feelings just to keep the friendship.

leehan

“teach me how to not care about these feelings that keep me up at night for nothing.”

𓍯 you don’t talk everyday but that’s what makes everything thrilling. and when you do talk, texting usually lasts until 3am. although you can feel the weight of your eyelids by this time, you try to stay awake just to converse with him. conversations with leehan are almost raw, something about each message is intimate—one you probably wouldn’t hear in the daylight. the thought that he actually also stays up with you makes you wonder how much he’s also feeling.

𓍯 leehan has the subtlest way of making you laugh. he’s nonchalant but he’s the type to make you intrigued without fully committing. with that being said, he knows when to pull back when he thinks you’re getting a little too attached over a situationship even if he's the one responsible for making you feel that way

𓍯 after dates, goodbyes often linger in the air. both of you enjoyed too much to actually walk away and go back home. when he stands close enough to hug you, you could feel his hand linger on your back like he’s in no rush to go back home. both of you stood there quiet, glancing at each other, enough to decipher by the look of your eyes that there are still unsaid words. “i’ll text you when i get back home.” he holds both of your hands as they slightly brush away from yours whenever he takes a step back. you know yourself you want something more from this situationship which causes your heart to ache.

𓍯 leehan is still not letting go of your hand even at the point where your fingertips are only touching each other. “let’s do that next time.” he says and adds, “sleep over.”

𓍯 and when he actually gets back home, you don't receive a text from him at all, and talked again the following days like nothing happened.

woonhak

"why does it feel like we’re both waiting for the other to make the first move?"

𓍯 it’s painfully obvious that both of you like each other. neither of you just couldn’t bring yourself up to confess. there’s always this tension that hangs heavy in the air when you’re with him. you're lounging on his couch while watching a film. with his shoulder almost touching yours, he is closer than friends should be. the couch's modest size is a flimsy excuse, but you both know there's more to it. woonhak’s arm occasionally moves, grazing yours and giving you a shiver, but he doesn't pull away. both of you are dancing around that invisible line, on the brink. his hand is getting closer and closer till your fingers would touch if you both moved even a little.

𓍯 every time you're together, you experience this torturous pulling, waiting for the other to finally release the tension that has been building for weeks. his hand moves next to yours, his fingers flexing as though he wants to grab you but isn't quite brave enough. and you can't help but wonder whether you're both simply waiting for a sign, anything that would eventually allow one of you to cross that line.

𓍯 woonhak constantly teases you, looking for excuses to rub your hair or bump into your shoulder, and he enjoys seeing how you respond to his pranks. he says something, though, that takes you entirely by surprise just when you think it's all a friendly act.

𓍯 “i feel like we’re both good at being complicated.” he chuckles. you can sense that you're both still holding back and skirting the truth because you're afraid of altering something that feels so near-perfect. but when you meet his eyes, you can see that this isn't the end of it because of the little warmth that remains in his smile.