#and idk if I should trust the process since I only have the toe

[bitstitchbitch]

I don’t know why I keep trying to make crochet clothing directly from the patterns. It doesn’t matter if it’s one-size-fits-all or the smallest given size, it is always too big. And I find most pattern makers give instructions for sizing up (as they should) but not instructions for sizing down. which isn’t that different but still

I’m not that good. I just want to blindly trust a pattern and have it come out roughly right, not struggle and spend hours trying to figure out how to properly downsize it. Im also really bad at judging sizes, so I spend hours before I even realize the end result is going to be too small. And then I have to frog most of it

It’s not even the pattern makers fault (usually). This happens even when patterns have a wide variety of sizes. I’m just outside the “normal” range for crochet apparently

[sjweminem]

This might be a dumb question but. How do they know when you can stop doing ect? Is it just when you feel better lol?? Like when are you ready? Do you have to tell them or??? Do they tell you??? How can they tell it's worked well enough that you don't need to come so often???

not dumb!! to many this is still a rather mysterious kind of treatment!

before and after each session, at least at the highly acclaimed hospital at which i'm fortunate enough to be treated and is accessible to me locationally, there is an extensive catchup and evaluation with your whole team. they administer periodic depression screenings as well to monitor changes- positive or negative. very much a team effort all around, and i imagine planning your session-tapering and long-term maintenance appt schedule would be no different. if they know you're still suffering they're certainly not gonna just kick you out of the program, even if you've already received the "standard" number of sessions. i have already received more than double that and haven't even begun to taper off (i.e. i still go 3x a week) because of my poor state.

it is also very much my responsibility to be honest (admittedly in careful, calculated ways that don't lead to legally-obligated, forced admission to their inpatient psych program.....i'm no rookie to toeing that very thin line lol) and, VERY importantly, advocate for myself. there's a reason the intensity of my treatment has increased four times so far. this aspect was a bit strange at first; i'm not used to psych professionals really, truly listening to me. i've been in the MH system for two decades and had gotten used to those professionals defaulting to THEIR expertise and abiding by THEIR protocols regardless of my desperate assertion of my own misery. i've gotten used to only making vague allusions to my su*cidality to avoid involuntary commitment. all it takes is ONE slip-up, ONE wrong word, and once it's said there's no going back.

However (this paragraph is more of a side-note so feel free to skip) my wonderful ECT doctors and nurses trust that i'm getting this treatment because i WANT to get better, and that when i tell them something isn't working, or that i don't think i can endure long enough to "wait and see" due to my severe su*cidality, it's the truth, and also proves i'm not ready to give up. yesterday, actually, for probably the first time, i spoke frankly about exactly how i would kill myself should this not work. i've planned out every detail. i even admitted to fantasizing about it all the time- all details about which no one else in the world knows, but i explained it all to the psychiatrist in my post-tx meeting because i trusted she understood and listened to me. i trusted she would connect the dots between a.) my showing up to each session and verbalizing my needs, to b.) the fact that you CAN be su*cidal without automatically being a danger to yourself, and have to be put away.

since my treatment approach has crossed over into more Hardcore territory, when i reach and my own desired version of wellness and stability (i say "when" instead of "if" bc i'm trying to be optimistic for once in my fucking life), and i've been in that mental state long enough to feel safe and confident in it and have expressed as such, we will begin the weaning/tapering process. there are several methods for doing so, in my case likely a combo of reverting to the "beginner" tx settings and coming in 2x per week instead of 3 and seeing how i do; if i remain stable; then following the same process of lower-impact settings and fewer visits. the goal is to reach "maintenance" territory, in which i'd only need to come in once per month, like a booster. i would remain on my medication cocktail.

it's all very personalized and, at this wicked high quality clinic at least, the patient seems to have the final say. idk what it's like elsewhere but if you google "mclean hospital" you'll get what i mean lol (i have lots of history w them too which is nice). it also helps a lot that the ECT staff is so experienced, so they know what to look for in their recovering patients, AND warning signs for which to watch out, that the patients themselves may not personally recognize. you won't just be thrown to the wolves.

all in all it's about trust. and i quite literally trust my team with my life.

[leonsliga]

for the ask game: 8, 15, 22, 62, 88 and 99 if you feel like it 💛

Omg thank you Judith!! <3

8. So here’s the thing: I’m such a bum when it comes to my nails lmao…no clue why. I’ve still got a little bit of leftover teal polish on my toes, but my fingers are out here goin nude 😵 we love some good commando fingernails ig

15. Apparently there’s two #15s, so I’m just gonna answer ‘em both lol.

For 15a, god, I’m torn. I’ll tell you this much tho: you won’t ever find my introvert ass in a nightclub, and that’s a promise! As for the other three, I love museums as much as the next girl, but it’s gotta be between a forest and a library. I’m a bookish bitch, but I also love being out in nature and vibing amongst the trees, especially in the fall when the leaves start to turn or if that forest ends in a mountaintop :)

For 15b, my style is definitely pretty comfy and casual. When I’m not wearing football shirts, what I wear really just depends on the season. If we’re talking fall and winter, pretty much sweaters, leggings, and boots every day (think Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls or Eva Mohn from Skam only more extreme). These are MY motherfucking seasons. I’m a sweater slut…there, I said it. For spring and summer, I don’t care what I wear as long as I can wear flip flops on my feet 🤷‍♀️

22. I haven’t made any super big decisions recently, but I’m about to make a really big one: I’m about to apply for grad schools, and in the process, I’ve got to decide whether I want to stay in the states and round out my studies here or if I want to wrap things up over in Europe (I’m thinking Scotland, since I left a piece of my heart there a few months back). And when I tell you have I have no idea what I’m gonna do, I’m serious lol. I mean, if I decide to go to uni in Scotland, I’ve basically gotta commit to at least spending a couple of years there. And idk, I’m nervous about the weight of that decision and the unpredictability of the outcome. I might love it more there as much as I did the 4 months I studied there previously, or I might not. It’s tricky. Should I stay or should I go, ya know? Decisions, decisions…

62. The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word “heart”? Probably a feeling: passion. Giving your all to something—pouring your heart and soul into something you truly love. It doesn’t have to be a job; it can just be a hobby, something to pass the time. What better way is there to live life than with passion for whatever it is you’re doing or however it is you’re living?

88. First, a lil bb anecdote: my body loves sleep. I sleep like a bear hibernating for the winter; 9 hours is simply insufficient. I’m entirely convinced I could sleep a year if left unchecked or without alarms to stop me. But apparently this morning my brain decided to stage a coup d’état against my body, and I woke up randomly at 7am. Not sure why…I just did, I guess? So that’s fun. But my first thought of the morning was literally: “holy shit, what time is it?” And then when I realized it was the ass crack of dawn, I trust-fell back into my bed (good thing my bed is the most trustworthy inanimate object in the game), trying fruitlessly to will myself back to sleep for the next 2 hours. Eventually I fell asleep…I must’ve, cuz when I woke up again it was like 1pm 😵 moral of the story: my circadian rhythm is damaged beyond repair and not even that cute little thing called sleep can fix it.

99. Even numbers all the way, and it’s not even close! Do I know why? Absolutely not 😂 they’re just more satisfying and pretty idk

[slasherhaven]

Hello, can I make a request for Thomas? Something about him getting bullied/attacked/picked on by either people from the town or coworkers in the factory and physically strong reader standing up for him and openly liking him/finding him handsome? It can lead to a nswf moment or not, and idk if they would know each other personally prior to that... pls female reader if possible. <3 I love your work.

Unfortunately, no NSFW in this one. Just a steamy kiss!

Thomas’ Future S/O defending him against a bully

Word Count: 2311

You had been working at the meat processing plant for a while now, and since your first week you had befriended the silent and mysterious Thomas Hewitt. You first saw him when you were being given your introductory tour, your less than friendly tour guide had pointed him out and told you to just avoid him, but that only made you more curious about him.

You understandably figured that he just wasn't a friendly guy or that he had caused some trouble in the past but you quickly realised that wasn't quite right. You hadn't even finished your first week there when you realised that he wasn't a problem at all, it was actually the others that bothered him all day, while he just remained silent, kept his head down, carried on with his work, and ignored them.

He wasn't the problem, they were.

So, on that Friday, you marched over to his work station at the back of the room and asked him to have lunch with you. He seemed cautious of you, like you must be pulling a prank on him, before agreeing.

From then on, you and Thomas would always have lunch together, and a friendship formed. You carried most of the conversation but eventually he took to scribbling down what he wanted to say on some paper. You weren't sure if he couldn't talk or just didn't talk, either way you didn't mind. You had earned his trust, at least as much as anyone could right now, because you had always been so kind to him. Yes, he had thought it was a joke at first, but he really was starting to realise that you were being sincere. You were his friend.

You were one of the last to check out at the end of the day, often using the time after everyone had left to speak with Thomas some more. You really enjoyed your time together, even if he wasn't the most talkative person, you liked him.

After checking out, you headed back to the work floor, where you saw Thomas finishing up. But with him, was one of the worst offenders when it came to picking on him. One of the men who thought something of himself, thought himself to be better than everyone, especially Thomas.

He was, once again, berating the taller man. You rolled your eyes and walked over to them. "Get outta here, Pete. Ain't you got something better to do?" you sighed, hoping that the man would just leave without argument.

"You don't gotta defend him because you feel bad for him" Pete scoffed, looking Thomas up and down like he was some sort of spectacle.

"I don't feel bad for him, you're just an asshole and nobody should be subjected to having to listen to you" you crossed your arms over your chest.

"Oh come on, it don't bother ya, right?" Pete asked Thomas, acting as if the insults had just been some friendly banter but you knew better than that. "Probably doesn't even understand what I'm saying" he laughed when the other man didn't respond. "He's just some animal" his smile fell, his expression turning darker, as he glared up at him.

"Oh please, he's a better man than you. Smarter, kinder, more empathetic, better looking. You've got nothing on him, Pete" you glared at the man, suddenly becoming defensive over your friend. Your words made Thomas look down at you, shocked by what you had to say and even more by the sincerity.

"Better looking?" Pete scoffed, clearly amused by your compliment. You cringed a little, knowing you had accidently opened the floodgates, so you made sure to speak before he did.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately? I pity your poor wife" you looked him up and down disapprovingly, like the sight of him repulsed you. And in maybe ways it did.

This time, Pete didn't respond, he just glared before taking a step towards you. Though you were quite ready to handle yourself, you just looked up as Thomas moved to stand slightly in front of you, staring down at the man almost threateningly.

Pete looked up at the much taller man, looking like he was considering his chances before deciding that he would definitely lose. So, he backed down, glaring at both of you, before grabbing his coat and heading out of the door. Leaving only you and Thomas on the work floor.

"I hate that guy. I don't know why he's always picking on you" you let out a huff of annoyance as you dropped your arms to your sides.

Thomas turned back to you as you spoke...he could give you a few reasons...

"Thanks for standing up for me just then but you don't need too, I can handle myself. Anyway, I'm used to the men around here, most of them are pigs" your face and voice softened as you looked up at him.

But he still hung his head. 'Most of them are pigs', he's been called much worse but did you see him like that? Women definitely tended to avoid him like the plague, even though he really wasn't a threat to him, they seemed to think he was. Did you think that?

"Wish they were more like you" you chuckled, making him look at you again. You could see the surprise in his eyes and that made you frown a little. "Oh don't look at me like that. You're the best man I've met around here. Trust me, I feel more comfortable around you than our other co-workers" you told him sincerely but he still adverted his gaze, not believing you.

"Hey, come on, I mean it. I'm not messing with you. Y'know I wouldn't do that to you" you frowned a little, gently placing your hands on his arms. He had stopped flinching away from your touch now, something that he used to to regularly. "You need somebody to help you see how good you actually are..." you told him before insisting, "I meant everything I said, y'know."

His gaze met yours, curious but shy. You had noticed that he had rather expressive eyes.

"We both know how people look at you and I hate it because it's so wrong. I hate even more that you believe them" you sighed as you lowered your hands, stepping back to comfortably leaning back against his worktable.

"You are smart, smarter than anyone gives you credit for, all because you don't talk but that doesn't matter" you shook your head in disapproval. "You're kind and caring. You're always so sweet to me even though people can be so cruel to you. You stood up for me back there even though you didn't have too" you pointed out, "and I know you don't think it, that's clear enough to see, but...well, I think you're pretty damn handsome. And I'm sure I've told you that before".

You have...you have told him that before, always so unashamed about finding him attractive, but he always thought you were messing around.

"I know I've never seen you without the mask-" you continued, noticing how he tensed at the mention of the mask, "-but that doesn't bother me. I can see enough of your face to know you're attractive and you have the prettiest eyes I've ever seen" you compliment. A smile gracing your face when you saw his blush over the top of his mask.

Only then, you realised that you were speaking a lot and probably being a little overwhelming. Maybe he wasn't blushing from the flattery but from embarrassment or discomfort and that wasn't what you wanted at all.

"I'm sorry. I'm probably being a lot right now, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable" you apologised but he quickly shook his head to reassure you. "You don't mind it?" you asked and he shook his head again.

"Well, good" you smiled before reaching out and taking one of his larger hands in yours. "This isn't really how I wanted to bring it up, after an argument with some asshole at work, but...I've never lied to you, Thomas. I really do like you" you told him.

He still didn't talk but he did give your hand a small squeeze, a silent 'I like you too' that made you smile before gently guiding him closer to you. He stepped forward cautiously, like he was waiting for you to burst out laughing and for the hidden audience to come out laughing at him for thinking that he could ever have this for even a moment.

"This okay?" even though you knew he wasn't dumb like everyone else seemed to think, you sometimes worried you were taking advantage of him because he didn't talk and tended to just let things happen to him. For somebody so large and intimidating, he could be rather timid around you.

But he nodded.

You let go of his hand but only to place your hands on his shoulders, leaning up on your toes to carefully press a light kiss to his lips, ignoring the feel of the mask. You had actually planned on inviting him around for dinner, rather than approaching this in the middle of the factory, but this would have to do because it felt like the right moment. Oh well.

Thomas' hands instinctively rested on your waist to support you, since you had to strain on your toes to even reach up to him.

You had always found his height attractive but you couldn't deny it was a little bit of an obstacle right now. Thankfully, he also lent down so that you could relax a little and not have to strain so much to meet his lips.

But as quick as your lips touched his, you pulled away again, gaze scanning his face for a reaction.

His hands were still holding your waist, not wanting to move them and alert you to their presence just in case you became aware to them and decided you wanted them off of you, but also not wanting to pull them away and stop touching you.

He felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck,  neither of you minding how he lent down for you to be able to do so.

Gaze closely scanning your face, he realised that you were watching him expectantly and Thomas froze up for a moment. You were waiting for him to do something, you wanted him to make the next move. For a moment he didn't think he could but your presence put him at ease, you always did.

You have always been so kind, so honest, and so accepting of him. Whenever you came around with that smile on your face, Thomas couldn't ignore the fuzzy feeling he got inside or the smile on his own face.

So, Thomas lent in again and kissed you.

It felt easy with you, it felt right, like this was what you were supposed to be doing. And he hoped that this was the start of something.

The kiss was a tad more forceful than you had anticipated but you blamed it on pent up emotion, and you weren't complaining at all. In fact, one of your hands moved to the back of his neck to deepen the kiss a little. You just couldn't help yourself.

At first you had control of the kiss, Thomas following your lead, learning from you. But he slowly became more confident. His hold on your waist becoming a little firmer, more sure, and taking the lead in the kiss, making you sigh happily into his mouth.

You guided Thomas a little closer, welcoming him into your personal space, and he moved willingly. He couldn't be close enough to you. He picked up on your eagerness, and even if it confused him, he didn't want to disappoint.

Each time one of you made an attempt to deepen the kiss, the other reciprocated it. The hand, that wasn't on the back of his neck, slipped over his chest and to his waist, wanting to feel more of him.

Both of you were a little surprised when your back hit the table behind you but you couldn't help but smile when Thomas' hands gripped your hips, easily lifting you up and sitting you atop the sturdy table.

Now, Thomas was able to straight up and press his body to yours better. Your arms returned to their place around his neck, sitting as close to the edge of the table as possible so that you could feel his strong form against you.

Maybe the two of you were getting a little carried away considering where you were...

But neither of you could help it. You had been pining after him for a while and Thomas felt the same. Plus, the amount of affection he was feeling and receiving in this moment was just overwhelming to him.

Just as you were completely forgetting where you were, the sound of a door slamming snapped you both out of the moment and made you pull away from each other. Both of you flustered as Thomas took a step away from you, the two of you turning to the sound.

Then the supervisor walked in, seeming surprised to see anyone still here. "What are you two still doing here. Get home, I need to lock up" he was more annoyed by you both than anything but you didn't plan on hanging around much longer.

"Sorry, Boss" you apologised as you grabbed your coat. "C'mon, Tommy, I'll drive you home" you offered as you turned back to him. Thomas nodded without hesitation and followed you out of the building, neither of you noticing the glance you both received from the supervisor.

Smiling up at Thomas, you wrapped your arm around his and guided him to your car. You knew that he usually walked to and from work, but you didn't mind giving him a lift at all.

[painted-crow]

hey so i'm looking to figure my sorting out. i'm p sure of my secondary but honestly i've gone in circles so many times that i'd believe anything lmao

so i guess to start like. i'm fairly sure i'm an idealist, but with a twist. i care about making the world a better place-- i'm kinda infamous among my friends for being a little TOO outspoken about my opinions. on a small scale, i have strong opinions about a lot of things, but on a larger scale... idk. i don't think any one person can know what an ideal world looks like cause there really is no such thing. there are literally countless variables when it comes to implementing even small systems, countless ways to fuck it up, so i don't think i'd be choosing some grand ideal over the people i love anytime soon.

that being said, i think my idealist streak gets directed into something else most of the time. i'm very focused on understanding myself to a fault. i want to know why i do the things i do, why i believe certain things over others. when it comes to my beliefs about the world, they're strong but take it or leave it, but when it comes to myself they are not a good idea to push. i've ended relationships over not feeling like myself with them or feeling like i'm losing myself or they're pushing me to be someone i'm not. i make strong instant decisions about what the "right" thing to do is when it comes to how it impacts my perception of myself, especially with intimate relationships (i'm a lot less impulsive with things like friends and things i'm less personally involved in). i NEED to know who i am, way more than i care about any one specific person or thing. obviously i love people very deeply and would do just about anything to have both, but if i don't know who i am, if i'm not true to myself, then i have nothing. losing people happens.

the issue is, because i'm prone to doing that and not thinking as much about how it'll impact people, i've been called selfish a lot over my lifetime. recently i've started thinking more about how my actions impact people and their feelings, and i'm feeling a lot more torn. i want to do what i want to do, what i feel is best, but i feel immature for doing it a lot. i've started worrying a lot about being a bad person and hurting people, and i've been thinking about how the "right" way to be is. i went through a phase where i was repressing myself to make the "moral" choice, but i just felt so flat. ultimately i realized that it doesn't really matter how good i am if i have to repress myself to get there, cause then all it is is performance. tldr is i feel super guilty for making "selfish" choices rn, especially as i've gotten more aware of other peoples' feelings.

what i think is probably going on is that i'm an idealist primary with a badger model, but i'm not sure between lion and bird, and i'm still open to badger. pretty sure i'm not a snake.

the section on my secondary's gonna be a lot shorter, sorry this got so long! so i'm p sure i'm a badger secondary. considered lion and snake secondary too. whatever i am, i have a p loud lion model over it. i've always had a gift for making people trust me, for acting. i kinda blend in and become what i need to to both help them and get them off my back so i can do what i need to do. i have a serious passion for helping people with tough love (i like to think of myself as a p good advice giver, since i can both tell people what they need to hear and really get in their shoes and be kind where other people might not). i think i judge myself the least when i can kinda toe that line between pushing boundaries and stepping back-- i track where peoples' boundaries are constantly so i can push them to the limit without stepping over them. i'm very fluid when it comes to presentation in reality, even though i think people actually think of me as kinda controversial. i tend to see people who are ACTUALLY overstepping boundaries as lowkey selfish at times, even though i also really respect them. i like to do things the "right" way as long as i give a shit about them. the catch is, i don't want to blend into the background, and i don't think i do. a partner of mine called me a fox cause he noticed the way i constantly toe that line where i can get people to notice me and still keep them off my back, still make them comfortable. i'm also NOT a planner. people constantly give me shit for only ever feeling things out in the moment, and honestly thinking about the future freaks me out. i don't want to plan how i do shit i'd rather just get in the zone and figure it out from there. tldr i'm pretty sure i'm a badger secondary? but i could be convinced of snake. definitely see elements of both but my gut's telling me badger so take that how you will

anyway! thank you so much for taking the time to answer this, i know it's a lot.

also sorry one thing i forgot to add about my secondary! i think my lion model got so loud because when i do the shifty presentation thing, i have a tendency to lose myself and start perceiving myself as whatever i'm presenting. it's made it really hard to figure out who i actually am and so i started just being as clear about it as possible.

for my primary, i really care a lot about being right. i try to take every side into consideration to make sure i get the best conclusion. i can be super stubborn when it comes to certain things, but i don't want to just... hold to perceptions that are wrong. that being said it's important to me to trust my gut and i take it as a big input. i'm very felt out for most things, don't really have a strong system of how to be. i really wanna be able to trust myself but i just don't. i have a big habit of relying on other people to tell me what to think, which is uh. yeah.

Primary

You're a Bird primary with a Lion model, and you're trying on some Badger ideals. That's one of the easier Sorts I've done, lol! Possibly because your primary and models actually House match mine :p

Your reasoning process screams Bird xD and so does your writing style and just the length of the ask. Birds love self-analysis, it's part of how we make sure our systems stay as close to true as we can make them.

You've got some Lion too, but it's a model. It sounds like your Lion and your Bird have come into conflict before, and like most Birds with Lion models, it bugs the snot out of you when your Lion's intuition (which is important data!) doesn't line up with what your Bird knows.

You've prioritized Bird's conclusions before, but (as with many Birds) you don't entirely trust your own system and you're wondering if your Lion might have been right and you should give its reasoning more weight.

Also, you're consciously deciding that maybe Badgers' way of doing things is more moral than yours, and you're pulling in some of those ideals. That doesn't make you a Badger primary. Birds are notorious for this kind of thing actually 😂

The line between whether some ideals you've pulled into your Bird system vs. what counts as a model is fuzzy. It's up to you really, how important those pieces of Badger are to you.

For me, I think the line might be--is it wired into your sense of self on its own, or does it get filtered through your Bird and Lion? It really sounds like your Lion is a strong part of your sense of self: if you ignore its advice, you feel not totally like yourself. You don't have to feel all your models equally strongly, but thinking of it that way might help.

(It's also hard because Birds often feel like they kind of are their systems, or they are their ability to reason, that's a core part of their identity. ...It's complicated.)

Secondary

You sound really really Snakey. I'm not sure where you're getting Badger, actually!

Badgers are more than the mirroring ability. They also bury themselves in work or community, and it can sometimes look like they're neck deep in so many responsibilities that they couldn't possibly handle any more problems--and then they do have a problem, they do need something, and they stand up and all that stuff they were buried in turns out to be armor and tools.

Snakes, otoh, are improvisational and tend to be very aware of their surroundings. Unlike Badgers, the Snake brand of social shapeshifting involves a lot of keeping track of other people's reactions to what they're doing--trying something and then watching the response, then adjusting, rinse and repeat. You turn yourself into exactly the right person for this situation.

Badger mirroring is usually simpler. You reflect the other person's energy back at them: it's an empathetic response that says we're alike, I accept you, you're safe. A lot of Badgers do this without thinking--it can be hard to turn off.

Snakes also don't go in for prep work as much, it tends to trip them up (Snakes with Badger or Bird models notwithstanding). They're Improvisational secondaries, unlike Bird and Badger which are Built and rely heavily on some form of preparation.

The Lion model sounds legit, but just check for yourself: you might be learning to use Snake's neutral state. Snakes will sometimes drop all their layers of acting and maneuvering and suddenly they're just themselves. Different Snakes have different relationships with neutral state. For some Snakes, it's a relief to drop the mask; for others, it feels vulnerable and they only trust certain people with their full authenticity.

It does sound like you really admire Lion secondaries, though, so you might indeed have a model there! This is just something else you could check on.

Hope that helps!

- Paint

[justasimplesinner]

Hey, I’ve just spent my day admiring your blog... and seeing as requests are open I was wondering what you thought about the dork squad having a much younger, super caring fem s/o. Would it change anything in how they act with them publicly, intimately? Idk it’s vague so please go wild! I’m so down for anything you write!

i'm gonna make this more gender neutral so everyone can enjoy darl, hope you dont mind! gays and theys deserve to read some fanfiction too!

and yet again, gonna need to skip jervis

Jonathan with a very caring s/o hcs:

he is... not used to being taken care of. hell, he's not even used to taking care of himself. and quite honestly, you're the best fucking thing that ever happened to him. not that he'd ever admit it tho smh

you're just always so... gentle. and you pay so much attention to him and his needs. you never push. you always know when, where and how to soothe him. you always bring him food and coffee and insist on making him drink water. you massage his shoulders whenever he's been working for too long. it feels... weird. surreal. he will probably never get used to it

sometimes, he gets really flustered by you. here you are, a little ray of fucking sunshine, making sure he has a scarf and a warm hat on him, fixing it all for him, styling, patting his cheek like you were his parent. you have to fucking stand on your toes to even reach his neck properly, and yet he feels so small with you. and the amount of respect he harbors for you is immeasurable

Jon has never felt the need to ever explain himself to someone, never felt shame at getting caught redhanded in doing something illegal or whatever the fuck, but all it takes is a single look from you and he's spilling the beans, even looking bashful while doing it. you just have that effect on him

he is not going to lie, he does get self-conscious because of the age gap. he's an old cynic, you're young and so full of love, and not only does your relationship sometimes look like the parent-child dynamic in the most unexpected ways (i mean cmon, the rogues were shocked to see how you've tamed him), but sometimes it's just... hard to keep up. and it gets annoying, always being stared at - for a very different reason this time - whenever he walks hand in hand with you, and the whispers really get to him sometimes. even he can't comprehend what the hell are you doing with an old fuck like him

honestly? the first few times it happened, he had ceased showing you any and all affection in public completely. he didn't hold your arm/hand/waist, he walked a small distance away from you, he used the same cold tone he used for everyone else. it wasn't just because he himself was embarassed (and he hasn't given a shit for public opinion in years), but he was afraid that the whispers might get to you. maybe even... make you realize how you're wasting your life with him. he will need some reassurance from you to even consider showing your relationship to the public. he doesn't give a shit that people are going to point fingers at him, he gives a shit that they will do so at you and he'd hate it if you started developing some insecurities because of that or started considering... leaving him. he knows you probably should but he... so doesn't fucking want you to. it might be selfish, but he so doesn't want to fucking let you go. ever.

Edward with a very caring s/o hcs:

this man is just one big fucking baby, you two will get along very well. you complete each other. ying yang and shit. and he honestly needs you in his life. he needs someone to take care of him, he needs someone to love him like you do. it might not seem so at first glance, but he is practically unable to do that himself. he will never take care of himself like you care for him, he will never love himself like you love him

when you just came into his life and started cooking him decent meals, spoiling him with affection, listening to him, just overall taking care of him, he felt the need to cling to you like his life depended on it. you had him hooked immediately

but there's also this little thing...s. like... parental issues... trust issues... y'know, the usual. it's just... you felt so much like a parent sometimes, and he's used to parents aka the people that were supposed to love him abusing their power over him and belittling him. so, accepting the fact that he loved you and you might love him was a very long and tiring process. and then one time you just hugged him to you after supplying him with the best soup he's ever fucking had, he just curled into a ball in your arms, telling you that he loved you and... asking you not to hate him because of that. it was the most fucking heartbreaking thing because it actually felt like holding a hurt, abused and neglected child in your arms

has called you 'Mom' on more than one occassion, regardless of your gender (he'd never call you Dad. it feels like an insult to him) and got very embarassed because of it. honestly, he often gets hella embarassed whenever you do something for him, like fix his collar or pat his cheek. but every time he sees you like, folding his clothes maybe, just doing normal, domestic things and taking care of him, he's got this dopey smile on his red face as he all but stares at you with love-filled eyes

it does feel... weird sometimes. he feels kind of... creepy. you're younger than him, and yet you're the mother-hen, you're the mature one (though he won't admit that, ever) and it almost makes him feel incompetent. because he literally needs you to take care of him since he so often can't even do that himself. he doesn't blame you at all, of course. at first he did, and he threw a huge tantrum over it, many insults were directed at you but your god-like patience made you just suffer through it, comfort him and have a serious talk about the whole thing

and don't even get me started on the stares/whispers directed at you two in public. they really fucking get to him and they make him feel so self-conscious, and are making him doubt your whole relationship. but most of all, he's fucking terrified you will leave him because of that. because of what the people are saying. because he's older and has problems with keeping up sometimes. but every last one of his doubts is swept away whenever you just slide your hand into his or hug him around the waist. fuck it, you kiss him in public, you hug him in public, you call him 'darling' in public - you're not ashamed of your love for him at all, so why would he doubt you? he still does tho, he's so just fucking insecure this man

[grouptalekindnesssoulstories]

Prince Lee? Zuko the Tea Server

@fyrelordzuko i got some inspiration from your post. It sounds adorable. 

I decided as writer that I wanted more homosexual pining/tension. So I edited events to make it so! (Also Jet’s accusation was hard to find. Like, seriously you’d think there’d be more clips of it but noooooo)

Warnings: There’s some switching of perspective and names. ~ <- means a change in perspective (--) <- means time passes. When Sokka is the focus, Zuko is Lee. Otherwise I think I called him only Zuko?? IDK

“Uncle, that’s one of the avatar’s friends” Zuko tugged on Iroh’s arm, pointing to the customer who had just walked in. 

“Yes, so?” Iroh sighed to himself. He’d just gotten Zuko to stop obsessing over the group. 

“So, do you think he’s here to attack me?” Zuko’s voice was so scared and raw, and Iroh wanted nothing more than to just hug him. The banished prince acted so much older than his 16 years that hearing him just be 16 was good. Iroh wished it were something other than fear, but he’d take it as it came. He settled for calming his nephew’s nerves for now. 

“It’s broad daylight. He won’t do anything, and besides he hasn’t confronted you. He seems like the type to use the others for witnesses, so if he hasn’t said anything, you’re fine. Now, go take his order before he starts to get suspicious” Iroh gently pushed Zuko towards the table where the other kid sat. 

~~~~

“What can I get you?” A quiet voice interrupts Sokka’s thoughts. He looked up and his mind went completely blank. There was another boy around his own age, with black hair that looked so fluffy. One of his eyes had a burn mark over it, and Sokka immediately trusted him. It looked like the fire nation was no friend to this guy either. 

“Recommend?” Sokka croaked out after a second. That stupid face crinkled in the cutest way. 

“Huh?”

“What do you recommend! I’ve never had much..tea” 

“Oh. Jasmine tea is my favorite, and my uncle is the best at making it in my opinion” Sokka nodded and the boy started to walk away. 

“Wait, what’s your name?” 

“Oh, I’m Lee” The boy moved too quickly for Sokka to introduce himself. Lee comes back half an hour later bearing a teacup, placing it in front of Sokka. 

“I’m Sokka” 

“I know” Lee acknowledged that fact with an almost familiar smile. Sokka couldn't place it, but it set his heart on fire. Lee retreated once more, and barely reappeared until Sokka paid and left. 

~~~

“Zuko, are you alright?” Iroh asked after the shop was closed for the night. There was a small smile on his face, but it looked like he had aged several years. 

“I’m fine Uncle. Just....tired” Iroh pressed a hand to his nephew’s forehead worriedly. No sign of a fever. 

“Well, get some rest. I’m sure it was a one time occurrence” Iroh soothed, getting their apartment tidied for the night.  

----It wasn’t----

“Uncleeeee he’s baaaack” Around the same time the next day, Iroh was interrupted by Zuko tugging on his arm. Spirits, was this going to happen every day now?

“Well, go ask his order. This is a tea shop after all” Iroh was far less gentle pushing Zuko out from behind the counter this time.  

“What can I get for you today?” Zuko approached the water tribe kid awkwardly, repeating his standard customer greeting automatically. 

“Lee! you were right, the tea was amazing” Sokka visibly brightened the moment he heard Zuko’s voice. It was nice for once to see him not react defensively. Made Zuko smile a little wider. 

“Yes, like I said, Uncle is very good at what he does” 

“Well, can I get the same thing” Zuko nodded, turning to deliver the order. When he came back, Sokka was hunched over a map and a schedule, muttering to himself. 

“What’s that for?” Zuko asked, leaning over as he set down the tea. He had some time to just sit and talk, long as it remained this quiet. 

“Huh? Oh. I’m trying to get in to speak to the king, but we have a deadline. Plus, we haven’t seen Zu-someone in a while. And Appa is still missing.” Sokka was too distracted to notice the nervous half-stand Zuko dropped into.

“Maybe the person you’re looking for is on vacation? And the King is uh...private. So good luck with that” Zuko eased down again, glancing towards his uncle. The former general gave a slight nod, face uncharacteristically serious. 

“Maybe he got his honor back at last. It was restored by Azula!” Sokka huffed a laugh, shifting to pay attention to his companion. Zuko was gaping, his mouth open like a fish’s. After a moment he started to laugh from the sheer ridiculousness. His sister restoring his honor? She was the one who’d driven him to come here. Though his uncle was so much happier now, and it was nice without the pressure of being Prince Zuko. 

“...Perhaps-” he tried to suck in some more air “-anyway, you mentioned someone named Appa is missing?”

“Yea, my buddy’s air bison. It’s how we’ve gotten around since I left the south pole” Sokka shrugged, not realizing the mess that was Zuko’s mind. Because, first of all, damn those muscles were fine. Second, the avatar didn’t have his spirit guide and the bison had a name. 

“That’s-that’s ummmm”

“I have to get back anyways. See you Lee” Sokka stood up before Zuko could do more than stammer a vague response. 

He came back every day after that. Sokka lit up Zuko’s entire day, and he never wanted to go back. Iroh began looking forward to closing time since that was when his nephew truly lived. It was, to put it simply, the best thing for his heart. Until it wasn’t. 

“We’re making plans to invade the day of the black sun. We’ll have the advantage, especially if I can figure out this last piece” Sokka was busy writing situations in his messy shorthand as Zuko leaned over his shoulder, listening and pointing out flaws. He’d figured out they planned to attack the fire nation capital, but he found he didn’t care. For the first time in his life, he felt happy and there were no strings attached. He and his uncle had found a place to carve out a life, free of the fire lord. There was the problem of who would take over, but that was a problem for future Zuko. Then that hotheaded prick walked in. 

“That old man is a firebender! I saw him heat up his tea!” Jet yelled, glaring at Iroh. All of the patrons swapped glances. A pair of soldiers were the first to speak up. 

“Kid, he works in a tea shop. That’s his job” 

“He heats the tea with firebending! I saw him” 

“You’re confused. How about you come with us...” the other soldier said, rising slowly from his chair. 

“No! Fight me old man, and i’ll prove it to you” Jet drew his swords, ready to fly at Iroh to prove his point. 

“You want a show? I’ll give you a show” Zuko straightened completely, drawing the closest soldier’s swords. 

~~~

“Lee, be careful!” Sokka called, drowning out Iroh’s cry of “Zuko, no!” Sokka tried to jump in and help, but the pair were moving too fast and too precise. He didn’t dare jump in and risk Lee’s life. And damn was it hot. Lee ignored all of Jet’s taunts, using those swords as if it were his only weapon. Finally some more guards intervened, taking Jet away. Lee returned the swords and slipped into the crowd. 

“Uncle, can I get some of your special tea? Seeing him again was nerve-wracking” Sokka heard Lee say. He sounded so conflicted and tired. Sokka wanted to run in there and hug him. 

“Of course, we’ll close the shop early today. We both need to lie low for now. Hopefully that’s the end of it, but we should pack just in case” The old man’s voice was muffled. Sokka couldn’t remember his name. Wait, they knew Jet? Was...could Lee have been an old flame of Jet’s? Before he became so...back-stabby. Sokka decided now was not a good time to run to the other boy. He’d think over this and process whatever was sitting so heavily on his heart. 

----

“Uncle, I haven’t seen Sokka in days” Zuko paced the floor a few days later. After what had happened with Jet, Sokka hadn’t returned. 

“Maybe he had to go do something. You said he was looking for the avatar’s sky bison. Or is it buffalo? I can never tell...” Iroh mused, a cup of tea in his hands. 

“Uncle, this is serious. He hasn’t been here in a week! He never misses more than one day!” Zuko’s pacing increased as his panic rose. 

“Zuko, take a deep breath. We just got through a scare about someone figuring out who we were. I’m sure you’ll get a letter soon saying he had to leave for his invasion” Iroh beckoned the teenager to the table. he sat reluctantly, taking his uncle’s hand. Iroh guided him through some de-stressing methods. As they were finishing, a knock came at the door. Iroh stood to answer.

“The king has requested your presence. He would like you to serve tea to him. He wishes you to come now” A soldier stood there stiffly, his face expressionless as he delivered his message.

“Serving tea to the king? What an honor. We will be ready in one moment. I must grab my good pot!” Iroh beckoned Zuko over, handing him the pot and leading the way after the soldier. 

~~~~/-----

“Zuko, get out of here! Make sure the Avatar does too!” The old man pushed his nephew towards Sokka and his friends. Azula had taken over the castle and they needed to get the king and get out now. 

“Follow me. I know a way out” Lee, no Zuko, pulled Aang after him. 

“No! We need to get Katara!” Aang pulled back, stopping the escape. 

“Fine! But stay close to me” The prince turned around, running deeper into the compound. “Uh, Miss-, whatever I need you to see if you can find her with your earthbending!” 

“Turn left and then I can dig down!” Toph yelled, pointing towards a patch of grass with flowers sprouting out of it. 

“Hurry! I can hear pursuit!” Sokka yelled, pulling out his boomerang. 

“Twinkle toes! Help me dig a hole!” Toph yelled and Aang began pushing dirt out beside her. 

“They’re coming from the opposite way now. Azula won’t be far behind, Uncle’s only one person and she seems to have an army” 

“You would know, wouldn’t you, Prince Zuko!” Sokka yelled, turning on the prince. He didn’t miss the way his expression crumbled. Not the time Sokka, not the time!

“Get in! Now!” Toph yelled, breaking up their fight. Zuko hesitated as the rest jumped in.

“Go, I’ll hold them off. I can do that at least” Zuko’s face had that sorrowful smile that Sokka had gotten to know so well in those first few weeks with Lee. 

“That’ll give them a hint. Get in idiot!” Toph yelled and Sokka grabbed Le-Zuko’s arm by instinct. He pulled him into the hole and Toph covered them again before digging again. They finally reached Katara a few minutes later. It was too late, Azula had beaten them to her. 

“Oh Zuzu, I thought you were better than this” She sneered. 

“...go. Sokka, please. Take your sister and run. Run far away and do your plan. Make it the best damn plan. Wipe the whole group out. Start all over” Zuko turned to Sokka, eyes already tearing up. Katara didn’t hesitate, and ensnared her brother’s arm to drag him away. The last view of Zuko that Sokka got was him fighting desperately. He dodged every lightning bolt his sister threw at him. One bounced off, hitting Aang in the back. Sokka turned away to make sure he could get Aang out alive. Zuko could rot for all he cared. 

---

“This entire time, he was PRINCE ZUKO?” Sokka yelled, tempted to crawl into a hole and die. He had flirted with Prince ZUKO. 

“His scar’s pretty distinctive Sokka. Who else looks like someone tried to blind them?” Katara groaned, totally done with the whole ‘I like the guy whose been chasing us around the world’ thing. 

“Lee! Who I guess is just an alias for Zuko” 

“Ok Sokka, we’re done. Time to move on” Toph groaned, stopping her vigil over Aang for a moment. He had barely stirred. They knew he was alive, but who knew if he’d last long enough. All they could do was keep him healthy, and hope. 

(To Be continued?)

[purplesurveys]

1130

survey by nadine07

Where were you three hours ago? Was passed out on the living room couch and probably dreaming away, lmao.

Were you with anyone? Both my dogs were in the living room with me, if that counts.

Have you had anything alcoholic in the last 24 hours? Hmm, I’m trying to remember but I don’t think so. I went outside to eat, but I doubt they put any alcohol in my meal since I literally had a truffle-based pasta. No plans to drink this weekend, either.

Are you wearing shoes right now? Nope, I’m always barefoot around the house.

How long have you known your 1st phone contact? At least since the 6th grade cos I think that’s when she had transferred to my school.

Are they a relative? Nope, I went to school with her. We were seatmates for a while in sophomore year and that’s when I was able to see how talented she was at drawing and painting. She ended up transferring to UP as well after getting accepted to the fine arts program so we got to be collegemates as well, though I don’t really remember what university she initially got admitted to.

Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Yeah, because I’m a dumb fuck when it comes to these things. I WILL SAY though that I’ll be so much kinder to myself should this ever happen, and no longer tolerate her bullshit and emotional/mental abuse under the guise of ~unconditional love. There’ll be a lot of shit she’ll have to pick up and fix, and I wouldn’t get back with her unless she acknowledges her mistakes and seek to correct them.

Would you ever go skinny dipping with the last person who commented you? That would be Leigh, and no. Idk if I’ve shared this or if this has ever come up on a survey but Andi actually once asked me if I’d like to be a part of a threesome with them and Leigh, and I just had to immediately decline because I view Leigh as a younger sister more than anything and I can’t bear to see her all naked loooool.

When was the last time you saw a movie in theaters? December 2019.

When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? I think the morning of New Year’s Eve. I was already starting my healing process by then and the holidays were getting me feeling kind of peaceful, so I sent her a few voice notes thanking her for the year that was but giving her a heads-up that I might not talk to her for a while, because I realized I was starting to get happier on the days I didn’t force conversation with her.

I honestly thought ‘a while’ would only take a couple of weeks, but I’ve since gotten used without her presence and it’s been 3 1/2 months since our final encounter; and I think it will stay this way now.

Has anyone called you beautiful today? No.

Are you still friends with the last person who broke your trust? That would be JM, and yeah. I find him ridiculous for lying to our faces about joining a fraternity in law school (frats are a big yuck where I live because of their toxic hazing and misogynist culture), but I mean I still sort of understand why he had to do it - obviously not for the above reason, but for the perks and support that usually come with joining frats. From now on I’ll always see him as someone who can smoothly lie to my face, though.

Does drama seem to follow you everywhere? No. I would hate that lol, that would just be too much to handle.

Do you feel like anyone is playing mind games with you right now? No.

How would you feel if your best friend hooked up with your ex? I think my literal first reaction would be to laugh out of sheer disbelief, and then proceed to call her stupid for cheating and for choosing to cheat with her. After that’s died down, I think I’d mostly feel disappointed and betrayed.

How long did your last relationship last? The stint lasted 4 years, but we were technically together for 6 years if we’re counting the whole on/off thing.

If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? No. That’s what I had thought and they left. I’ve stopped trusting my feelings about these things anymore, and will assume anyone is capable of leaving.

Does it make you uncomfortable to talk on the phone around people? I just don’t want to be loud enough that I’m almost screaming around other people, but I can’t always monitor that since I have to concentrate on what I’m hearing on the other line.

Would you rather be 10 years older or 10 years younger? Probably 10 years older so that I can see into my future.

Have you ever kissed someone the same night your met them? No.

Do you bite your fingernails? Occasionally. I pick at them more frequently.

Would you consider yourself very flexible? Nah. Like I said on a previous survey, I can’t even reach my toes either while standing up or stretching on the floor.

Do you embarrass easily? Yeah.

Have you ever tried to talk your way out of getting a ticket? Yup. It’s happened twice; one of the occasions I was able to handle by myself and the other time Gab had to step in to talk to the officer because he was adamant about the ticket and I had started crying.

Did it work? Yes, both times. I’ve only been issued a ticket once, from this annoying grumpy officer in Alabang.

Have you ever been banned from anywhere? Trying to remember if I have been, but I don’t think so.

Do you have a ringtone or do you leave your phone on vibrate? The important messaging apps are on vibrate. I’ve turned off notifications for some apps and I have just the silent banner notifications for others.

What was the last thing you drank from a mug? I’m drinking coffee from one right now.

Has your #1 ever seen you naked?

Does your #2 know your deepest secret?

Will your #3 repost this?

Does your #4 smoke?

Were you born in the 90's? Yes, but by the end of it so I never considered myself a 90s kid.

When was the last time you paid less than $1 for something? The parking fee in Feliz.

Have you loaned anything out to anyone recently? Nope.

Are any of your siblings married? None of us are.

Who was the last person to spend the night with you at your house? Gabie.

How many different picture ids do you have in your wallet? Just my driver’s license and TIN ID.

Do you have a hard time making decisions? Depends on the weight of the decision. The heavier it is, the more I seek out friends who can provide fresh perspectives.

Has anyone kissed you when you weren't expecting it? Idk, Gabie probably snuck in some surprise ones a few times. IBetween the two of us I was more likely to do so, though.

Did you like it? If she did then I probably did during that time.

Who was your date to senior prom? We have junior prom, not senior prom. I just bought my favorite cousin since I had no interest in boys and was still learning how to make guy friends at that point.

Does your dad smoke? No, he’s never tried.

Is your mom over 50? She is turning 50 this year, but not until September.

Do you want to get married? It would be nice to experience it.

Have kids? Yes.

Are there any movies coming out you wanna see? Not that I know of. There are movies I do want to see, but they’ve already come out, like Ammonite and I Care A Lot.

Do you ever feel like you're leading a double life? No.

Do you have any plans to get a new tattoo or piercing? Tattoo, yeah. I’m just super chill about said plan and am not really in a hurry about it. I’ve yet to think of a design and where on my body to place it.

Do you know anyone named Christine? I know several people named Christine but they go by a nickname, like Tin.

Do you know anyone who's biracial? Sure, I went to high school with a couple of girls who are both half-brown and half-white as they both have European dads. I believe one of them is part German while the other girl is part Swiss.

Do you know anyone who works at Walmart? I don’t think so. I know my aunts who live in the US will occasionally shop there though, hahaha.

Has the last person you rode in a car with seen you in your underwear? I mean yeah, as a baby and as a young kid (it was my mom).

Are black bras sexy? They can be, sure.

Spell your full name without 'C','I','R', or 'Y': Obn.

Open the nearest book, turn to page 11, and type the first sentence: I’m at a Starbucks rn and didn’t bring any books with me.

Are you currently listening to anything? There’s jazz music faintly playing at the moment.

Would you ever consider getting breast implants? Before I definitely used to, when people still liked to make fun of small boobs. Nowadays I don’t feel the need to anymore.

If you could spend 30 minutes with someone who's gone, who would you pick? I’d probably pick my great-grandpa over my grandpa. I never met the former; and if I only had 30 minutes with my grandpa (who I did grow up with) I think it would just fuck with me psychologically.

Are you on birth control? Nopes.

Do you know anyone who is bisexual? Lots.

Would you walk into Walmart naked for $10,000? Yes.

Does anyone call you babe? No.

Do you hate it when people try to play with your hair? If I’m not close enough to them I would feel bothered, yes.

Who would you tell, or who did you tell when you lost your virginity? I think I had just told Sofie then.

Were you in a relationship 6 months ago? Yeah but it was cracking and it was cracking fast. It’ll be hitting 6 months this March, actually.

Are you still with that person? No.

Are you the kind of person who has crazy mood swings? No. This happens to my mom and I hate it very much, so I try to watch my actions and not switch rapidly between different moods.

This is question 69...so have you ;)? Sure.

How long is it until your birthday? Around a month and a couple of weeks.

[eirabach]

---

A Pen and Ink goodbye for @olliepig who enabled my need for ridiculous angst. It got a bit out of hand. Under the cut for semi-smut adjacent shenanigans. Apparently I don't title fic in this fandom idk why.

---

Penelope has been on the island since daybreak.

That's not odd, not in and of itself. This is International Rescue's last day as -- as whatever International Rescue has been for the past eight years. Penelope has been a part of that from the off. Of course she's here.

It is sorta odd that he hasn't seen her.

He's seen FAB1 docked neatly in the corner of the space Two has left behind. He's seen Parker sat at the table with Grandma, the two of them blaring the old rock classics Grandma always favours when she's stressed. He's even heard Penelope herself, clipped and formal as she discusses practicalities with Kayo. He’s spotted the wag of Sherbet's rear as he disappears around a bend.

So it is odd that he hasn't actually seen Penelope herself.

It's odder still that it's on purpose.

Even he doesn't know why, not really. He's a people person. He seeks them out, whether they want him there or not, and he is, absolutely and above almost anything else, a Penelope person.

He’s spent almost all of his adult life following Penelope about like Sherbet on speed, and now, now when whatever he might say to her might actually matter, might actually change something, he’s hiding.

It doesn't make sense, but there it is.

It probably looks like cowardice. It isn’t.

The truth is his skin is too tight, his heart too large and too loud, and everything within him seems to be vibrating at a level and pitch that suggests immediate and violent combustion.

He takes himself off because he can't trust himself right now. Can't trust that he won't crack like a hull under pressure, turn into some sort of hysterical wreck and get himself grounded because what better reintroduction to his long lost father than Gordon couldn't come, dad. Gordon's gone mad.

He wonders if his dad would even be surprised. Eight years alone, maybe he might be right there with him.

So he hides himself away from Scott's demands and Virgil's concerns and Alan's excitement. Avoids Grandma's hugs. Plans to take himself off to his room and meditate himself back to earth. The irony isn't lost on him.

Except now Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward is sitting in the corridor, Sherbet in her lap and her head resting against his bedroom door. The strap of her Thai silk nightgown slipping from her shoulder and honestly, honestly, this is not helping him stay sane. Not at all.

"Um," he says. A positive opener. "Are you okay?"

"Did you know," Penelope says, because she never answers a question without posing one first, "that your brother has spent the last twenty minutes composing a farewell message of such overwrought emotional trauma that Parker almost wept?"

"Which brother?"

She lifts an eyebrow.

"Fair point. Who to this time?"

"An entire server's worth of people that he has never met." Her mouth twists wryly. “His very dearest friends.”

Gordon shrugs, stuffs his hands in his pockets, and watches the way Penelope curls her toes into the carpet over and over and over.

"Alan doesn't get out much. Well. He gets out in a rocket but for some reason I don't feel like that counts."

"That wasn't my point."

His eyes snap to hers, then, because there's something in the way she says it, something tight and sharp that pricks at the parts of him already spread too thin.

"He's under the impression that he may not return."

"He's dramatic like that."

"And you're not?" She stands, Sherbet tottering from her lap, the strap slipping further down her arm, and Gordon concentrates as hard as he dares on the space just below her left earlobe. "Gordon. Are you avoiding me?"

And of course he is, entirely, but telling her so seems like a really stupid idea. Utterly stupid. Stupid as his stupid eyes slipping down and along and following the curve of pale pink silk below her collarbone. He forces them upward, squints at the stain on the ceiling shaped just like Virgil's left foot. That had been a good Tuesday.

“Gordon!”

"No?" Not his greatest dramatic turn, this. 

"Then you won't mind if I come in, then, will you."

"What?"

And this is really, terribly, excruciatingly unfair. Because if he was asked to count how many times he'd dreamed of this moment, of Penelope, flushed cheeks and a determined set to her jaw, her hand on the door handle and his bed six feet away, he'd struggle to settle on a number that didn't make him sound like a creep. In none of those dreams did he stare at her, mouth agape, and tremble like a virgin in a brothel. In none of those dreams had he ever, ever considered saying no. But to say he's not at his best, well, that's a level of understatement best left to Penny herself. And if he knows anything, more than his own name, more than the vagaries of Four's controls or the shades of Scott's moods, it's that Penny deserves better. Better than him at his best, and certainly better than whatever he's got to offer her now. Which seems, on balance, to just be a grouper's bug eyed stare.

Hot.

"Please, Gordon. I don't want to do this out here."

Oh. Well. Yeah, obviously. There are rules. Probably.

God, he’s never actually had to find out. That’s just embarrassing. 

“I can see you thinking,” Penelope says. “Don’t be crass.”

“Can’t help it.”

“Gordon, please.”  She sounds tired. Tired and strung out and there's a dark smudge under her eyes that might be jet-lag or might be something else all together. The daydream, such as it is, collapses into nothing under the weight of her hand, curled into a fist at her side, and the way her mouth turns down at the corners.

"Ah, shit. Come on, I'm sorry, come on."

He opens the door for her and sends a silent prayer of thanks to Scott, because Scott nags him about his room hourly (or at least he used to, back when Scott had time to care about such things) and probably the only way Penelope could look more any more out of place would be if she were surrounded by a month's worth of dirty laundry. It's bad enough that she's looking at his unmade bed. 

He steals a look back through the still open door.

"Is Parker..?"

"Not invited," she states, and backheels the door shut. Sherbet scurries through just in time and sits looking from one to the other of them like a spectator at a tennis match. "We need to talk."

That, of course, is what he’s been trying to avoid. He’s immediately on the defensive. Twitchy. His eyes flick around the room and refuse to settle on her for more than a moment at a time. He can’t look at her and he can’t talk to her and if he doesn’t actually explode before she leave his room then he’s gonna have to consider this whole thing a success because he’s trembling so hard he can feel the floor shake.

"Super. I love talking. Love. It. What you want to talk about? Sunfish? Grandma’s chilli? Nepotism in the rescue industry?"

"Don't be factitious, Gordon. It doesn't suit you."

"My apologies," he offers a little bow. "Go ahead, your Ladyship."

She scowls. The hollows under her eyes are more obvious in the low light of the bedroom. His already leaden stomach roils uncomfortably to see them.

"Does it not strike you as odd that Alan is composing farewells to people whom he does not know, and you are refusing to look me in the eye?" 

"We're gonna be gone like a day."

"Is that so?"

And maybe he should have paid attention to the way she says it, not cross, not at all, but just a little bit sad and a little bit uncertain, or maybe it's just that she's hit the crux of something Gordon hasn't quite dared to name, but something -- something just sort of snaps.

"The hell you getting at, Pen?"

"You know perfectly well --"

"No I don't!" And that's too loud, way too loud, would send a brother running any other time, have Parker hammering down the door. "I don't know anything anymore! I don't know how this is gonna work, any of it. I don't know shit about Oort clouds or, or what the point is in taking Four into space! I don't know what dad looks like, I don't know if he's out there I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do or he isn't or if he is, Penny! I don't know how to hold it together or how to hold my family together and I sure as hell don't know how I'm supposed to say goodbye." He needs his re-breather, he's out of oxygen, out of patience, out of time. "Not to you."

It's a confession, of sorts.

She takes it as permission.

Penny never does anything by half measures. She launches herself at him, bits of old scuba gear and half his shell collection going flying as his back hits his dresser, his hands scrabbling for purchase against the drawers as hers tighten in his hair and she crushes her mouth against his. Every ounce of blood in his body makes a sudden and impassioned journey downward and he's glad of the dresser because he's never gonna live it down if he faints.

She nips at his lower lip, and it's a damn close run thing.

Her tongue is hot and her grip is almost painful and he doesn't know what to do with his own hands, because if he holds her now he knows he's never going to be able to let her go.

Penelope, of course, is always two steps ahead.

She pulls back, just far enough to rest her forehead against his. Her breath stutters over his lips. He's not breathing much at all.

Slowly, so slowly, as though the process causes her physical pain, she releases her grip, her thumbs coming down to brush at his cheeks before she lets go entirely. She reaches up on her tiptoes to press a chaste kiss to his forehead and steps back, hands neatly folded, cheeks flushed. Gordon blinks at her.

"I'm sorry," she says. "That was uncalled for."

Gordon makes a sound that might generously be called a whine. "If you think that was uncalled for then I'm afraid you're wildly off base."

"It seemed a better idea than yelling."

"Definitely a better idea than yelling."

"Not that I'm not upset with you for avoiding me."

"Understandable."

"Only that -- I'm not awfully good at this sort of thing either, you know."

"I really, extremely beg to differ."

"Not that." She rolls her eyes and he can't help but smile. "The overwrought emotional goodbyes sort of thing."

"I dunno, I like your version. Better than Alan's I bet -- wait." He narrows his eyes, takes hold of her shoulders. Her skin is soft and warm and her eyes are warmer, distracting him from whatever stupid joke he was going to make. She isn't looking at him like this is a joke. “Do you have some ulterior motive here? No, never mind, stupid question. You always have an ulterior motive.”

“That’s rude, Gordon.”

“That’s true, Penelope.”

But she’s smiling, just a tiny bit, and his heart lifts just a little to match.

"I'm not going to ask you to stay if that’s what you’re worried about," she says, soft as a promise she knows he truly able to make. "Only to come home. Regardless."

"Not planning to stay," he says in lieu of lying. "I like gravity."

"Other planets have gravity, Gordon."

"Yeah I know. It's a metaphor."

"Oh?" She sways into his space, just a little bit, and he feels his body chase hers as she tilts away, proving his point. "How poetic."

"Alan gets it from me."

"Hmm." She leans in again, her hand against his chest, and the rawness of her touch fades to something sweeter and darker that curls in his belly and is really probably best avoided right now because -- because something. 

He can't make himself care.

"I don't want to say goodbye, Pen." 

He doesn't say ever, but she hears it anyway. He can tell by the spark in her eyes, by the catch of her breath. They're good like that, the two of them. Finding each other in the liminal spaces between words.

Words are pretty overrated anyway, especially compared to her lips on his, gentle and lingering, one hand above his heart and the other at his jaw. 

He's the one to deepen the kiss this time, to cup the back of her head and draw her closer, tighter, silk between his fingers, the dresser at his back. Bed is comfier. Bed is close. Bed is -- probably pushing his luck. But then again, maybe not, because she's the one tugging at his shirt, pulling him after her even as she makes short work of the buttons, pushes the sleeves from his arms. She's the one settling herself against his pillows, smiling when he hovers with his weight on his elbows, and presses a finger to his lips.

"Then don't."

[paradise-of-guilty-pleasures]

Shattered Reflections {22}

[Helsa RP- Fanfic]

Fandom: Frozen

Genre: Post-Frozen/ Canon Divergence

- Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Romance

Pairing(s): Hans/Elsa, Kristoff/Anna

Previous Chapter:21. Nonchalant

A/N:

Direct continuation of the previous chapter. I'm really bad at updating I had this done since I posted the last chapter, but just kept pushing off the update. I have two other chapters. IDK how soon I should post them, cause I don't want to spam them.

22. Waltz of the Snowflakes

Elsa was appeased knowing that in the future, even if Hans didn't continue to stay in the castle, he would still want to put down roots somewhere nearby, remaining somewhere between the castle and the sea. Not straying far from her, staying at her beck and call. The idea eased more than her mind, it really seemed to warm her heart as well. 

 Her heart had been feeling a little lighter that night. It was a strange sensation to have it be constantly aflutter. She didn't quite fathom why the feeling seemed to be lingering longer than it usually did. Though she just thought it was more peculiar than particularly unpleasant. Her heart's flutter was not the most abnormal thing she was presently experiencing either. Stranger still was the sudden surge in her magic, that desperately wanted to break free. A tingling extruded from her extremities, yet the unexpected swirling of magic within her didn't feel like any of the normal outburst that often occurred when she got anxious. This burst of power was somewhat different, it seemed more euphoric, if she had to make a comparison she'd consider it to be closer to the feeling of when she let it go for the first time in forever, more than anything else. The abrupt sensation scouring through her body puzzled her a bit because she didn't understand why now? Most of the time her powers started acting up was when she felt more negative emotions, currently she was feeling quite the contrary, in fact she was rather content, but she didn't think that alone would warrant her powers to swell inside her.

 Elsa had a soft smile on her face. She had been curiously looking down at her hands. 

 "Yeah, I-Oh?" she began to respond, but she suddenly stopped when she spotted a snowflake slowly drift by her nose. Elsa looked up and saw that a small flurry had formed above her which was starting to softly drop snowflakes around her. This was new. "That's...strange. What is going on?'' She commented pointing up a bit stunned at what was occurring, being surprised by her own powers was something that didn't happen quite often. Her icy blues were opened wide, transfixed on the abnormal snowfall. "I have absolutely no idea why my powers decided to be unruly right now."

Hans grimaced a little at the thought. 

 "Should I be worried, your Majesty? I seem to recall the last time they got unruly was a rather painful experience for all of us." He laughed a little nervously and shifted somewhat uncomfortably to give her space. Not because he was afraid of her, but because he was reminded that she should be afraid of him.

"Hm? No, I don't think so, it's nothing that drastic," she assured, she flicked her wrist and the flurry vanished. "I think I have it under control." 

 Elsa turned facing towards the window and began to test her control over her powers. She quickly conjured a variety of forms which she quickly transfigured. She began the release of her pent-up magic with a snowman much like Olaf which collapsed and reconfigured to a horse, followed by a replica of her Ice Castle that then turned in on of the Arendelle Castle. After seeing enough of her perfect precision over her magic she let it dematerialized.

 She hummed in confusion. "That was rather odd, I know my powers sometimes seep out when I feel anxious, but the thing is I didn't think I was feeling that way at all, also it usually tends to be ice not snow." Elsa was perplexed, she pressed her lips. She might have thought it wasn't due fatigue but she didn't think that was the case either. She really was clueless.

"Hmm, ice for danger, snow for... something else? Something lighter?" Hans proposed, perplexed and intrigued as he leaned back to watch her work upside-down. He grunted a little and righted himself when she was done, finding he couldn't process anything upside-down, anyway. He seized upon a strange idea, and pushed himself to his feet. In spite of his drinking earlier, he seemed perfectly steady. He'd had some time to process the alcohol, after all. He offered her his hand. 

 "Perhaps it only makes sense to women who've known me in more pleasant circumstances, but I've just realized we've known each-other for a rather long time now, and I'm not certain I've ever asked you for a dance. That's not very like me." He mused. He wondered if that would change the ice as well. He wasn't sure what he thought he was doing, but somewhere deep down, it felt like that made sense. Dancing would illuminate things. He often liked to dance and think at the same time.

Elsa thought Hans' hypothesis about the snow seemed rather reasonable, but she wondered why something similar hasn't occurred sooner. Dance? The invitation caught her off guard, bringing out a blush on her cheeks yet again. She gawked at him, from his offered hand to his contemplative face. Elsa couldn't determine whether his proposition or the snow were the far stranger between the two. Though she decided she'd take his suggestion as part of the tipsy foolishness he'd warned her about earlier. 

 "Um, you have not," she responded. "Though I'm uncertain what that has to do with anything," she started in confusion, yet her own hand already seemed to be hesitantly dancing to determine whether or not she should take his hand. "Also I'm not much of a dancer, I'm certain I'm quite bungling at it."

"Not a thing." He assured sweetly. "Unless it does and I don't know. You don't have to be good, I like a simple box-step. Trust me to lead and you'll do fine." He assured, never wavering in his offer. "I'm in the habit of dancing often. There were always maids around to dance with at home, so it was a good way to pass the time, hold a conversation, pretend everything was alright." He assured, at least he admitted the truth; it was pretending.

Elsa teetered a bit more, she paused, looking him over one more time, intently gazing into his eyes for a long moment. 

 "Alright," she said softly as she gently grasped his warm hand with her own. Elsa figured dancing was something a bit more formal anyway, an activity royals partook in often, even if she herself wasn't one of them. Besides, they had certainly already been a lot more intimate than that before, so taking up on his offer couldn't possibly hurt, could it? He was also her friend now, surely that's something they do together. Regardless of all the logical reasoning (or excuses as others may prefer to see them) the reality was that a part of her strongly wanted to feel his ever emanating warmth against her skin once again.

Hans smiled a little to himself and positioned their arms as he walked her out a little ways from the bed. Just as well that it was simple, he was still injured and couldn't exactly do a whole lot of activity. He hummed a tune with the appropriate rhythm and held her close while he led, starting slow for her and picking up to match the music as she got the pattern. 

 "There we are. An easy box-step." He sounded pleased with that, continuing at the same pace, as constant and inevitable as the tide.

Elsa did struggle a bit at first, stumbling and not perfectly matching the pattern, but with Hans taking the lead and his gentle guidance she seemed to be getting the hang of it fairly quickly. She had been pretty preoccupied at first trying to focus all her attention on her feet, but now she had gotten more control over her motor skills and could actually look at him. 

 "I do beg your pardon if I step on your toes too hard, but I do think I'm finding my footing."

"Oh, you're not the first person I've guided through the steps, and you've had a little more practice than some of the maids." He assured her, not minding at all. "I'm a tough young man, I can handle being trodden on once or twice." He joked, carrying on the pace without worry, and just enjoying the rhythm of the movement. It wasn't often that he shared something from home that wasn't angry or depressing. It was just a nice thing he held onto and brought wherever he went. An odd habit he enjoyed. A simple box-step for no good reason other than that it was enjoyable.

"Only a bit of practice, not much though, definitely not the adequate amount that a Queen should know. Certainly ill-prepared for any royal social gathering. Luckily I don't have to partake in those if I don't desire," she assured. "Hopefully you don't get trodden thrice I'm afraid to find out what happens then," she joked back with a giggle. 

 Their dancing had made yet another bittersweet memory re-emerge, it was her dancing with her father when she was a little girl, stepping on his toes being half his size. Happy memories with her parents were so few and far between she often wondered if they had just been lovely dreams she made up in her solitude.

"Everyone misses a few things they ought to know, there's not enough time in one's youth to get all that information at once." Hans assured, with unusual amounts of forgiveness for himself. He said it as if to brush away her anxieties and shield her from them. "At any rate, you're doing a lovely job. You've got the grace to dance, just not the training. Never mind it, it will come." He assured her, though confident for no particular reason except to make her feel better.

 "That's for certain, might as well learn how to do some of that stuff now," Elsa smiled. "Thank you, probably wouldn't be as lovely without an excellent instructor." She complimented. Elsa thought the two of them just dancing for no particular reason was rather nice. Just being in each other's company always felt right, more so when they shared pleasant moments (which unexpectedly involved much warmth and caresses exchanged between an Ice Queen and a quondam Prince).

"It's surprising, I must've danced with half the girls in the Isles by now, just by fact of how many maids we hire. But I don't tell everybody I play the harp. Funny how one can get things out of order, going to a new place." He observed, smiling slightly as he danced with her. He hummed again, a slow, perhaps even romantic song. It had to be slow, starting to learn, every song felt much faster, but that didn't ease the romantic tension any. Romantic tension that Hans didn't seem to mind, if he noticed it. "Hmm. Is that so? I guess that makes me part of the lucky few. You know I'd still very much love to hear you play for me, and there's a harp waiting to be used in the music room, most likely untuned, but it's there," she reminded him warmly. "But perhaps not right now, but someday soon would be nice," she encouraged with a sweet smile and softness in her eyes.

"Certainly, I'd love to play for you. Any time you and I are both in, perhaps a tea time, if you're not occupied elsewhere." He proposed lightly. 'elsewhere' being Anna, no doubt. "I suppose it's only fair, I'm one of the lucky few who has seen you with your hair down, I've no doubt." He glanced to her hair, with something all too fond in his eyes. Perhaps it was good that his hands were occupied with the form of the dance, else he might have tried to touch it. That surely would have been... bad?

"Of course, tea time might actually be the most opportune time to have a rendezvous, I'm seldom occupied during tea time, I usually spend them alone in the library, so I would definitely enjoy it if you joined me and spend one together," she eagerly assured him. Elsa became a bit more bashful with his observation of her hair, especially with the way he looked at her with his green gleaming eyes. She slightly averted her face from meeting his gaze directly, bringing one of her crimsoning cheeks near her shoulder, yet a smile stayed on her face. Suddenly, another soft sprinkling of snowflakes started to surround, not just Elsa, but the both of them.

Hans couldn't help but smile a little at the snowflakes. "I thought a dance might draw a little flurry out of you." He hummed. But he wasn't sure yet what they meant. Just that they were a good thing. "That, or I'm very wrong and it's a sign you're coming down with a... cold." He giggled a little at the pun he only realized was there as he was telling it. "Oh there's snow way to talk to me without puns eventually, I'm afraid." He had been spending time with Kristoff and Olaf. If anything he now had more horrible puns.

Elsa was still bemused by the snowflakes produced by her unpredictable powers. She looked at them with wonder trying to make sense of what they meant, but still had no clue besides recognizing that it was somehow linked to her current bliss. 

 She laughed a little at his pun. "Oh, I don't get colds and even if I did I think you'd snow." She thought it was rather silly, but that didn't stop her from trying.

Hans laughed a little more at her returned pun. He looked different when he smiled with his eyes, hints of crow's feet that showed only in the rare event that he was genuinely that happy. 

 "Should we stop, or should I go for 'Icy what you did there'?" He teased. "Ah, it's late, isn't it? Or perhaps early, by now? Should I stop distracting you before bed?" Yet they still danced. He seemed to dance by habit, hardly noticing he was doing it.

"It would indeed be wise to get some rest before daybreak,"she said softly, yet was reluctant to let go, not knowing when they'd be able to share another warm moment like this again.

Hans slowed the dance all the same.

 "Another dance another time?" He proposed gently. "I can see I still have some healing to do before I take on the guard training full time. I'll have a little time." He suggested. He smiled a little to himself, perhaps realizing how that sounded. Almost as if he would be going away to war, though it was truthfully not far a walk from the castle doors to the guard's barracks. But, he knew she was a busy woman.

"Perhaps," she smiled. "This has been rather nice and I could also really use the practice." And there it was again, adding some other justification, she just couldn't seem to allow herself to admit that she wanted to do it solely for her own pleasure. 

 Even though Hans wasn't going too far once he healed, she still wanted to cherish and indulge herself with more of these warming moments. She wanted to enjoy this freedom of spending time together, since it wasn't going to last forever.

He nodded, and finally let her go, if slowly. He was as reluctant for her to leave as she was. 

 "I shall see you when you next want my presence, I suppose." He hummed, but he said it with a little smile. He liked it when she visited. She had asked herself if she was treating him like a bird in a cage to sing for her-- but she had never thought about whether he liked to be her songbird.

The snowflakes ceased, yet she hadn't been paying so much attention to them anymore. 

 "I suppose so," She affirmed, tucking some of her hair behind her ear, with her now free hand. "I guess, I'll see me, wait no, I meant you, ah anyway, I'll see you fairly soon then." Elsa assured with a slight stumble with her words, similar to how she'd done earlier with her feet. "Possibly tomorrow if I'm able." Of course, she was talking about finding time rather than asking permission. She had already been keeping her promise (to the best of her ability) of coming to visit him, if only for a short amount of time. So there was no doubt she'd be back, but she liked to reassure him anyway.

Hans nodded, looking hopeful and encouraged about it. 

As soon as Elsa left, he returned to the bed, to sleep almost instantly. He'd had quite a busy day, after all. But he would sleep comfortable, thinking of all the positive things-- but especially of the snow.

Elsa had gone to sleep much later than she intended, she laid in bed, her mind lost in contemplation. You'd think sleep would come easy after such a lovely evening with both Anna and Hans, and perhaps it would have if something else wasn't tormenting her thoughts. 

 What kept her mind restless was the mystery surrounding why her magic had been acting up that night. It had only caused her powers to amplify and an involuntary snowfall, two things that weren't at all bad, just unexpected. 

 It had also been a different sensation than prior times her magic had been rowdy and that was a bit disconcerting. Something like that had never happened to her before, even blissfully being with Anna, which she believed bore the closest resemblance to what she felt with Hans. Yet with Anna she only felt a warmth that flowed from her heart, a melting sensation, but in a good way. That was not at all what had happened with Hans, she did feel something strange in her heart, but it wasn’t quite the same.

So that brought up the pressing question: Did the new outburst have something special to do with Hans? If so, what was so different? Why did it only happen with Hans and not with Anna too? She started thinking about what made her powers tick, she knew that both fear and love were catalysts that amplified her magic, she hadn't been feeling the former so that only left the latter. Love. Could love really be involved in what caused the outburst? She was certainly fond of Hans, there was no doubt about that, he was her friend now, but could it be she felt something more than amiable affinity? Could she maybe really...no, that'd be silly. Elsa brushed that thought away, perhaps she was overthinking things again, like she tended to. Whatever caused the occurrence Elsa decided it was best not to continue worrying about it that night and instead get some much needed rest.

[myberkeleyadventure]

Networking 101

Alright, ladies & gents. I’m going to dish on my experience about ... NETWORKING. Honestly, it was and is a scary word for me. I always felt like “well, the job should go to whoever is most qualified” and didn’t really like networking... But IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, JOIN ‘EM. Well, sorta.

I’ve realized that networking, when done correctly, WILL ALWAYS BENEFIT YOU. So why not at least attempt it?! Plus, everyone is SO. FRIENDLY. AND. WELCOMING. TO. COLLEGE. STUDENTS. AND. NEW. GRADUATES. (just young people in general). I’m serious. People really appreciate you taking the time to poke around and learn about the field, and since you’re a student/newly graduated/young, they’re even more willing to help out.

Mid-last month, I decided to actively try networking. First, I made sure my LinkedIn profile was all updated & perfectly polished. Then, I went on LinkedIn and started typing the positions I’d be interested in having after graduation. I would scan a few profiles, but the ideal person would have:

New to mid-level work experience. Relatively new to the field (think fresh college graduates in their first job post-college) to mid level experienced (10 years or less). This made them feel approachable to me. I didn’t want to talk to a CEO when I was just dipping my toes in the water! I just wanted to get some idea of the job, the market, and the industry. Start small! 

Working (or worked) at companies I was interested in, or had an accomplished career path

Bonus if they went to the same college I went to! Whoo, a mutual interest. That way, you can personalize your message with “Go Bears!” or whatever your college mascot is. They’re more likely to respond to a personalized message.

Bonus if they seem active in the field. You can tell this if they’re in any professional organizations, for example.

Bonus if they use LinkedIn regularly! If they’re never on LinkedIn, well, chances are low they’ll reply to your message.

Once I found a suitable match, I’d connect with them AND INCLUDE A PERSONALIZED MESSAGE. There’s a character limit, so you gotta be short & sweet. Include a greeting, an introduction, some sort of similarity you have with them, and why you’re reaching out.

Something along the lines of this would work well:

Hi Bob! I'm an incoming UCSB grad student (Go Gauchos!) & interested in working in finance. I noticed you work at Bank of America as a Financial Analyst. Would you be willing to have a quick phone call? I'd love to hear about your experience & any insight you may have! ^^Change the bolded text to match your scenario.

To be honest, I was expecting most people to ignore my message. I mean, why would they give up 30 minutes of their time to help someone they’ve never met?!?!? Right?!?! But to my surprise, out of the 8 people I messaged, only two never responded. The other 6 responded and said “sure!” ???? Wow, people are nice. All 8 of the calls were super helpful (some more than others, tbh) and made me feel like, “damn I can’t believe I called a stranger and networked!” Other little tidbits:

Plan for the calls to be about 30 minutes. In my experience, this has been a good length of time for calls -- not too short, and not too long. And honestly, anything over 30 minutes for a call with a stranger may feel like you’re imposing on their time! Of course, if the conversation is going well and you both are willing to talk longer, go for it!

Schedule the call soon after they’ve accepted a call - maybe within the next week or two max. 

Always start off the call by thanking them. Start by saying “Hi XX! It’s XX. I just want to first off, say thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to help answer my questions about the xx field.”

End the call by thanking them again. 

After the call, thank them in writing (this can be via email or LinkedIn if that’s how you communicated). This can be a little optional in my opinion, since you literally thanked them on the phone two seconds ago, but still.

Make sure you have a list of questions prepared and some background of your field. While the point of these calls is to learn more about the field and help you explore your options, you should already have some knowledge about the field. Trust me, I’ve learned through trial and error that man, is it awkward when there’s pauses in the conversation! Also, people can help you more when you have an idea of which subfields you’re interested in versus if you had literally NO idea.

Remember: they’re not going to give you a job. I saw this on a LinkedIn post and it was saying something along the lines of “How would you feel if a friend asked you to lunch? And then said, ‘Oh yeah, I’m single by the way.’ You’d feel uncomfortable and put on the spot right? That’s how I feel when people ask me for a job on our networking calls.” Interesting, right?  The point of these networking calls is to explore and learn more about the company/position/industry/opportunities. It’s not a one-way ticket to a new job and please change your mentality if it is!

Take notes! I personally have a tracking spreadsheet to keep track of the people I’ve reached out to/networked (columns include: Name, Position, Company, Date Reached Out, Responded? Y/N, Phone Call? Y/N, Phone Call Date, Contact Information, Met [where did I meet them, etc], & Notes [of the person/interaction; not of the phone call]). I have a separate notebook where I physically write down notes of the phone call. Just my own personal style.

Another perk of LinkedIn networking is that it’s all through a phone! No in-person interaction (yet, at least)! So I’m calling them from the comfort of my own room and it’s not as nerve-racking! It’s as easy as: 1) Finding a connection 2) Sending a personalized message 3) Call them & have a set list of questions! I mean, obviously if you happen to meet them in person later, at least you’ll already have a phone call with them and it’s not as awkward, ya feel?  Here are my some of my go-to questions:

What skills or courses do you think would be beneficial? What skills do you use a lot of in your work? [List some skills you think might be beneficial here]

I’m wondering about the process of being certified/getting licensed in XX. What’s your take on this for this field?

What are the different subfields within this field? I know of xx, xx, xx...

What are good professional organizations to join relating to this field?

What’s the difference between working in public versus private sector in this field?

Would you say networking is important in this field?

I want to share some of my results of networking:

Discovered TWO new professional organizations to join

Joined a newsletter and found out about an organization looking for committee members & applied (tbh idk if I made it in, still TBD)

Found out about scholarship opportunities 

Found out about a mentorship opportunity in one of the professional organizations (which had a deadline just around the corner!)

Cemented my list of companies that are reputable/well-known for the work I’d like to work on

Learned more about the hiring processes at various companies

... and much more!

I would encourage everyone to reach out & try to network! What do you have to lose, right?! 

[thehomierobbstark]

Idk if you’ve already wrote about this, but could you please do a quick blurb about Erik’s girl being on her period & she sends him to the store for pads/ tampons

A/N:  I haven’t written anything like this before, so thank you for giving me the opportunity!! I’m currently on my period and it fucking sucks, but I hope you like what I did with this anon!  Thanks for asking 😄

Warnings: At the bottom 👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿.

This is for all my lil cute ass black gorditas out there rockin back fat, belly rolls and thick ass thighs that touch!!  x Reader is always gon be black, chubby, and sassy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The soft silk pillowcase caresses your face as you shift around in bed, trying to turn over to your other side.  Your body felt heavy from the deep slumber you’d awoken from, the third one you’d taken that day as you tried to replenish the ridiculous amount of energy you seemed to be running through.

As the strength returns to your body and you start to feel your limbs again, you attempt to move your hips so you can rotate when you’re met with a firm resistance.

You try again, thinking that maybe your legs are still asleep, and this time you wiggle your toes too… only you can’t move those either.

Giving a low groan in dissatisfaction, you lift your head up to see what the deal was, and upon seeing the problem you roll your eyes, letting your head flop back down on the pillow with an annoyed huff.

It was Erik. Of course.

You can’t honestly say you were surprised; every time you were on your period it was as if his attraction to you became magnetic, and it was the hardest thing trying to gain back your personal space until your period ended.

While you relax against the pillows waiting for your vocal chords to kick in, you run a play by play in your head as you try to remember how you both ended up here.

The last thing you recalled was laying on the couch, Erik was in your lap and the heating pad you’d wrapped around your pelvis had come unplugged from the wall.

You remember the very difficult process of trying to untangle yourself from the mass of muscle that was your boyfriend without waking him up, which resulted in you tumbling onto the floor from the cord getting wrapped around your leg.

While you now had a sore knee and a loose scarf, the gentle giant hadn’t lost a single wink, and you’d stormed off to the bedroom with the heating pad under your arm after chucking a throw pillow at his unconscious head.

And now here he was.  Laying all over you and invading your space, again.

“ERIK!” Your vocal chords were working again and you were about to put them to full use.

“Get up, dammit!”

He groans a tired yawn and tightens his arms around your waist, trying to bury his face into your belly button.

“I’m right here ma, why you yellin?” His tired voice mumbles into your tummy, the vibrations tingling through your skin and waking up your bladder.

Ugh. Now you were gonna have to get up.

You sigh to keep yourself from crying as you wiggle around again, this time with a little more movement since now he was awake too.

“Move little boy, I need to pee.”  You start shoving at his shoulders to get him off you so you could run and go pee before you fully woke up.  

He kisses his teeth.

“Man, what I say about that? Don’t think I won’t snatch your lil ass up just cuz you moody right now.”

“I’m only mood right now cuz you’re laying on my bladder.  Now GET. UP!”  You slap at his bare arm and he finally lifts off of you, mumbling about how he should make you pee yourself to teach you some manners.

You ignore him, scooting yourself to the edge of the bed to stand up when you feel something shift at the base of your uterus.

Your eyes widen as you realize it’s not just pee that will be rushing out of your body soon, and you shoot up from the bed, squeezing your legs together as tight as you can as you awkwardly catwalk/run to the bathroom to hopefully keep from ruining anything other than just your underwear.

You barely make it in time as you slam the bathroom door shut, hearing Erik cackle a “HA! That’s what you get!” from the other side as you pull down your pants and plop yourself down on the toilet.

You unclench and let everything flow out of you, pulling at the roll of toilet paper as you look down to assess the damage.

Thankfully other than a dirty pad you were mostly in the clear, your underwear suffering a little over bleeding at the front and high up in the back, but the compression shorts you wore were saved from being sacrificed to the clorox bleach gods.

You always wondered how little droplets of blood managed to make their way all the way up past the asscrack of your underwear, but you decided to just let it go today and be grateful that you weren’t dealing with an 80’s horror movie situation this time.  Those were always day ruiners.

You roll up the dirty pad and toss it into the knotted trash bag at the bottom of the trash can with the others, and you slide off your underwear and toss them in the sink, turning on the cold water.

You clean yourself up with some baby wipes, trying to decide if you should hop in the shower or not when a small knock on the door grabs your attention.  You glance up to see the door open a small crack, Erik’s hand sliding through with a fresh pair of underwear in his fingers.

You laugh as he tosses them to you, whispering a soft thank you baby at him as you catch them.  His hands slides back out only to be replaced by his head wedged in the door.

“Uh huh.  What happened to all that attitude you had just a minute ago? ‘Thank you baby’,” he mocks you with a nasally voice that was apparently supposed to imitate yours, and you suck you teeth, telling him to shut-up.

He sticks his tongue out at you, opening the door a little more to peek around inside.

“You good? You need anything?”

You flush the toilet, reaching over to wash your hands in the sink while you still sit.

“No, I think I’m okay right now.  Can you hand me a pad under the sink please babe?”

He side eyes you at your sudden sweetness, but steps into the bathroom and squats down to open the cabinet.

“Where are they?” He shuffles a few things around, sticking his head further into the cabinet.

“Where they usually are in the back next to the hairspray.  You don’t see it?”

You unroll a wad of toilet paper and shove it between your legs for a temporary makeshift pad and put on the fresh underwear before joining him in front of the cabinet.

You instinctively reach towards the back like how you instructed only to find… nothing.

“You were saying?” He tilts his head at you, and you shove him off balance making him fall on his butt while you move over to the drawers to search for a stray pad.

He swats playfully at your legs while you look, only for you to come up empty handed.

“Shit,” you mutter under your breath, trying to rack your brain for where an extra one might be laying around.

“Wassup? You ran out?” Erik leans back against the door, fingers playing in the curls at the nape of your neck.

“Yeah.  I think I need you to go to the store and get some more.”  You shut the drawers with a  frustrated sigh, leaning back against the door frame next to him and looking over to him.

“You know which kind to get?”

He’d only been with you a handful of times when you’d had to get them but you weren’t sure if he’d paid close enough attention to notice the brand and type you usually got.

“Uhhh…yes.” He hesitates a little making your eyebrows scrunch together.  Maybe you should show him a picture or something.

“You sure?  Cuz I don’t have time for you to be getting the wrong kind so just tell me if you need some help-”

“Girl if you don’t chill! I got this baby!  What, you don’t trust me to get you some pads??”

You narrow your eyes at him, studying him to look for any uncertainty.

“Uh huh… yeah OK.  I trust you baby.”

“Thank you!”  He pops a kiss on your forehead and gets up from the floor.

You scoot aside so he can open the door to go get his keys and wallet before getting up yourself.  Looking over yourself in the mirror you take note of your frizzy curls and oily skin, deciding that maybe it would be a good idea to hop in the shower after all.

Erik comes back with his keys in your hand, a red hoodie thrown over his head and a pair of shades on.

“You need anything else while I’m out?” He asks, already deciding in his mind to grab a pint of your favorite ice cream and a pack of cookies at the store too to help feed your cravings.

“No I’m good.  You sure you gon be okay?”  You eye him teasingly with pursed lips, and he rolls his eyes before popping another kiss on your mouth.

“Girl hush. I got this!”

With that he turns and walks out of the apartment, leaving you to laugh by yourself, and you go to turn on the shower head as you hear the front door shut.

~

“….I ain’t got this.”

It had been twenty minutes Erik had been standing in the feminine care isle by himself, and the longer he looked at all the options, the more confused his brain got by all the different types of pads and tampons there were to choose from.

In his defense,  when he left the house he thought he had it…. at least, that was until he saw all the choices there were.  He didn’t remember there being so many choices.

Wings.  No wings.  Xtra absorbent.  Panty Liners.  Maxi Pad.  Ultra thin.  8 hour protection.  What did it all mean!?

The look of confusion on his face was starting to become permanent, and he knew if he didn’t make his selection soon, Y/N would be calling him to ask if everything was alright.  He refused to call her first to ask for help, especially since he was so confident he could do this, even after she’d asked him if he needed help, twice.

Nevertheless, he knew if he went home empty handed, or, worse, with the wrong thing, there would be nothing to protect him from the absolute wrath that would rain down on him once he got back.  Not even the melting ice cream and crumbling cookies in his hand.

Taking a deep breath, he shakes it off a little, refocusing his mind.

Okay.  No need to worry.  He got this.  The man had a whole PhD for god’s sake, surely he could figure out which feminine products his girl needed without letting it get the best of him.

Starting at the top shelf, his eyes scan over the items from left to right, and before he can even get to the end of the row his mind goes blank again.  Fuck.

“Aye, my man.  You good over there?”  A voice from the left of him calls his attention, and Erik turns his head to face its owner, the puzzled look still etched on his face.

Standing close to his height is a thickly built dark skinned brother with a loose muscle t-shirt that showed off his frame.  He wore dark sweatpants with some slides of his own on his feet, his head shaved completely bald which only helped further accentuate how strong the dude looked.

“You looking real lost there bro, you need some help or sum?”  He walks up to Erik, holding his hand out to him, and Erik blinks himself back to the present, sliding his own hand against the strangers before giving him a dap and greeting him.

“Oh, yeah yeah, I’m just over here tryna figure out what to get my girl.  She goin thru her period right now.”  Erik looks back to the shelf as if somewhere behind one of the price tags will be the answer he’s looking for, and the guy beside him starts chuckling.

“Uh huh, lemme guess: She asked you a couple times before you left if you knew what you was doin and you told her yes.  Then once you got here, you realized it’s a whole notha world up in the store.”

“Man!” Erik kissed his teeth, his eyes widening a little as he looked back to his new companion.  “A whole notha world!  Ion remember there being so many damn kind last time I was in here.”

“I know man, I know.  On one hand you wanna be mad it’s so many companies tryna reinvent the wheel,  but on another every woman flow is different so they all need a special type to help make it easier for them.”

Erik shakes his head, running a hand through his dreads as he blows out a sigh.

“Bruh.  I can only imagine what Y/N be going thru every month.  You here for your girl too?”  He asks the stranger, and he nods, a warm smile spreading over his face.

“Yeah, my lil Chipmunk, she’s our middle child.  She just started today and my wife is outta town visiting family, so I gotta show her the ropes.  I learned the hard way the first time that if you freak out, then they gon freak out, so you gotta be calm about the fact that they growing up on you to help them get through it.”

“The first time??? How many girls you got man?” Erik asks him humorously, and the stranger holds up his fingers in answer.

“Three.  A house full of girls.  And I couldn’t be more happy about it.”  The man’s entire mouth shines bright with all his teeth showing, a small sparkle coming from the one gold capped tooth on the bottom row, and Erik swore that if there was a blackout right that second this mans smile could light the whole city.

“That’s beautiful bruh.  Congrats.” Erik extends his hand again to the stranger in a fist that he returns with a small bump to it.

“Thanks,” the man smiles to himself for another moment as if he’s lost in thought before clapping his hands and rubbing them together.

“Aight!  Back to business.  Let’s see if we can help you get your girl what she needs.”

He steps up beside Erik in front of the shelf of products, putting his hand to his chin as he thinks.

“Ok, first things first: Is your girl a tampon girl or a pad girl?  Or both?” He looks up at Erik expectantly, and his answer comes immediately.

“Nah, she a pad girl.  She says the tampons are too hard to insert and make her feel uncomfortable.”  Erik had remembered that conversation the first time he came with you when you’d run out of pads but you had an entire jumbo box of tampons under the sink.  You’d explained that your mom had given them to you years ago but that even though you didn’t use them you didn’t want to throw them away either, just in case a family member or friend came over who needed them.

“Yeah, my wife said the same thing, so we a “pad only” household for now.  Okay, next question: Is she a light bleeder, or do Moses gotta step in and help out?”

Erik snorts, taking a moment to think about it.  The only time he remembered her flow being really heavy was when she’d switched birth controls, and that week she’d nearly camped out in the bathroom all day and night when she wasn’t wearing adult diapers to protect every piece of clothing and furniture she owned.

He’d never been so upset seeing his babygirl look so miserable.

“No, her flow is pretty regular other than on her 3rd and 4th days.”  He remembered her saying that, too.  

“Oh!” Just as he spoke, he remembered something else.  “She likes the long pads.  They real thin but she says they absorb a lot.”

The stranger nods his head, going back to scanning the shelf.

“Okay, that helps.”  He glances down at the snacks in Erik’s hand and snickers. “I take it by the ice cream and cookies that you like to spoil ya girl, right? Which means she probably bougie, too.”

Erik laughs at that.

“Yeah, she definitely spoiled and bougie,” he was thinking about the gold plated necklace he’d just bought you last week that had his last name on it, and how you couldn’t wait to wear it out that same night with the special area code gold plated hood hoops you’d ordered offline for your birthday.  Yeah, she was bougie alright.

“Mhm, all mine are too. Spoiled asses.  Aight, so that means your girl prolly a name brand girl.  Lemme ask you, when you get a pad for her, do it have designs on the wrapper? Like lil pink and purple squiggly shit?”

Erik snaps his fingers together.

“Yeah yeah yeah! And the box look like that too, right?”

“Yaup!” Stepping up to the shelf the man grabs a box off the 3rd row, the Always Radiant Flex Foam pads in the number 2 for heavy flow.

“Boom.”  He hands them over to Erik, clapping him on the back.

Erik smiles a huge smile, recognizing the box immediately. “Yeah! These the exact ones!”

“Mhm, these the ones my first daughter uses too, and she loves them.  Sheitt, they havin a sale right now so I might go head and grab her a few boxes.”

Erik moves the box of pads under his arm before grabbing the mans hand in a handshake and pulling him in for a hug.

“Yo, you don’t know how much you just saved my ass right now bruh.  Thank you so much, I really appreciate all your help.”

“Fasho my nigga, anytime.  Gotta make sure we look out for each other when we tryna provide for the special women in our life.  Don’t forget to take a picture of that and save it in your phone. You gon need it in the future.”

“Trust and believe I will man.  I’ll never forget again.”

Both men give each other one last dap, Erik grabbing a few extra boxes of pads before heading off to the frozen section to replace the ice cream.

Before he gets out of the isle he stops, turning back to the man and calling to him.

“Aye, my man.  What’s your name?”

“It’s Jeremiah.”

“Your girls are really lucky to have a man like you in their life, Jeremiah.”

Jeremiah smiles, shaking his head.

“Nah man, I’m the lucky one.”

Erik hums at that, and he tosses him a peace sign in farewell before going off to finish his shopping.

~

The keys rattle against the door as you hear the lock open, the sound of plastic bags shuffling and footsteps entering the apartment. The door closes shut and you see Erik appear in the entryway, a bag between his teeth as he tosses his keys into the dish on the hallway table.

You hop up from the couch, pulling the towel you were sitting on free from your butt as you go to help him.

“You didn’t get my texts?  You’ve been gone for a while I was starting to get worried,”

You take the bag from his teeth first, looking in it to find a pint of vanilla bean ice cream and a pack of oreo’s inside, smiling as your sweet tooth started to hit you.

“You know me so well.”

Erik smiles as he reaches into the bag in his hands, pulling out the box of pads.

“Uh huh, too well,” and he laughs as you clap your hangs together, commending him for getting the right kind.

“I knew I could trust you,” you cheese innocently at him, and he kisses his teeth, mushing your head away.

“Whatever girl.  Here, go put your stuff away,”  he hands you the bag of pads, taking the one with the snacks from you and you skip off towards the bathroom to take care of your business.

When you come back Erik’s already on the couch, a bowl and spoon out on the coffee table next to your ice cream and cookies, and the heating pad already plugged in.

“Wanna watch a romcom tonight?” He asks, and you nod your head, settling on the couch and wrapping the heating pad around your back while Erik wraps himself back in place around your front, nuzzling into you.

As the movie starts to play, Erik chuckles silently at the sound of you crushing oreo’s into your bowl, thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a house full of girls just like you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warnings: Humor, SoftBoi!Erik, Fluff

[heatherofthenight]

Hi I would love that u do my deran/adrian fic idea and that when they‘re young and adrian meets the cody brothers for the first time and they tease deran about adrian being his first friend and the first one come to the house and he get embarrassed or something,they will play together and be rough like always,deran freaks out that adrian will leave him and get scared but he stick around and laugh with them idk but i like your fic so it will make my day if u write it and sorry for my bad English

Hi Nonie,

I’m not sure this is what you had in mind but I hope it hits your spot. 

I don’t encourage 7 year olds cursing but I figure Deran grew up hearing the language so he uses it. 

Fucking families.

 Deran was practically bouncing on his toes and the teacher kept telling him to quit fidgeting.  It was embarrassing because if it was one thing Deran could do it was be quiet but today he couldn’t contain his excitement:  Today was the day Adrian was coming over to his house after school.  

 He was excited and worried; he’d never had anyone over before and his brothers would be there.  Craig was okay but Baz and Pope might screw things up.

 “Deran, if I have to ask you one more time to sit still, I’m going to send you to the principal’s office.” Mrs. Funk’s high voice made her sound like she should be a student in the second-grade class she taught but the look on her face told Deran she meant business. Smurf had a similar look with lips pressed into a line and Deran knew that was his sign to quit fucking around.

 His face heated up as the other kids in his class turned and stared at him but he kept his head down. When he finally glanced up, he couldn’t help but look to his right where Adrian was sitting.  He made eye contact and was surprised to find Adrian smiling at him.

 Adrian was the coolest kid in their class.  He could already surf and he was a strong swimmer and he was really smart and funny and Deran even liked the freckles on Adrian’s face.

 He had to be careful at home because Pope and Baz liked to tease him about his ‘boy crush.’  Craig was nicer about it, telling Deran it was okay to have a best friend at school, but he still got a goofy grin on his face if Deran talked too much about his friend, Adrian.  

 Brothers really sucked sometimes; Deran wished Julia was still at home so he could talk to her about having a best friend but Deran knew better than to even mention his sister’s name around the house right now.  

 The bell finally–finally!–rang and Deran waited at the door for Adrian.  His friend was kind of being poky as he got his stuff from the cubby and Deran wanted to tell him to hurry the fuck up but he wanted to play it cool.  Adrian wasn’t allowed over at other people’s houses but Craig had somehow talked Adrian’s sister into letting come over today.

 Maybe brothers didn’t suck after all.

 Adrian finally made it to the door and Deran grabbed his shirt, towing him along.  His friend went along with him, laughing as he stumbled along. Adrian was strangely good natured and usually let Deran have his way at school without argument.

 They went outside to find the usual procession of soccer moms picking up kids.  The sea of minivans was broken up by the God-awful yellow Volkswagen Cabriolet convertible Baz had parked front and center.  Craig sat on top of where the convertible folded up and waved as though they wouldn’t spot them.  Deran just towed Adrian along.

 Baz and Pope completely ignored them as they talked in the front seat but Craig yanked Adrian into the back seat and started talking about surfing.  Deran pouted on the way home because Craig was monopolizing his best friend but when they pulled into the driveway, he coaxed Adrian out of the car and dragged him to the pool.

 Deran was not happy when not only Craig, but Pope and Baz, followed them to the pool.  He showed Adrian inside to the bathroom where he could change into his swim trunks before he grabbed his own from his bedroom and slid into them. He stepped back outside only to be met with his oldest brothers.

 “So, it’s a pretty big day for you,” Baz smiled at Deran; he didn’t trust it one little bit.  

 He grabbed towels, carrying them over to some lounge chairs and dropping them.  Maybe if he ignored Baz, he’d go away.

 “Hey, he’s talking to you,” Pope chimed in.  “Is this little pipsqueak like, more important than your brothers?”  

 Privately Deran thought that was true but he was smart enough not to voice it.  If Pope or Baz sensed any weakness in him, they wouldn’t let up until they got to him.  At least that’s what Smurf said.  Deran was grateful Smurf was away; there’s no way he’d expose Adrian to her.

 Baz grabbed his arm and whirled him around.  His arm was going to bruise from the force of his brother’s grip but he pressed his mouth into a straight line and stared back at Baz.

 Adrian emerged from the house with Craig close behind him.  “Hey, thanks for letting me come over.  This looks like a great pool.”  His words were aimed at all of the Codys but his smile was just for Deran.

 Pope rolled his eyes but Baz got that look in his eyes.  “Oh yeah, the pool is great.”  As soon as Adrian walked up, Baz grabbed him around him the middle, carried him over to the edge, and dropped him into the water.

 His friend emerged from the water, bobbing on the surface, shock on his pale face.

 Craig shoved Baz.  “What the fuck, man?”

 Baz just smiled.  “He’s got to be tough if he’s going to hang out here.”

 Deran turned his attention back to Adrian who treaded water.  His friend bit his lip and looked like he might cry but then he tipped his head back and laughed.  It was a sound of pure enjoyment, a laugh similar to Julia’s when she wasn’t being moody.

 Pope whipped his head around scowling at Adrian.  He stepped to the edge of the pool and he looked like he was going to jump in and give his friend a dunking or something.  Deran clenched his fists so hard he could feel his nails digging into his palms.  

 What if Adrian hated it here and decided he didn’t want to spend time with Deran anymore because of his stupid brothers?

 What if his brothers hurt his friend?

 Adrian slid beneath the surface, only to launch himself upward into the air before diving headfirst beneath the water.  He disappeared from view again although Deran could see bubbles on the surface moving across the pool.

 “Did he just do a fucking dolphin dive?”  Pope didn’t sound angry; more like shocked.  

 Deran stepped up next Pope. “I told you he likes to swim.”

 Craig got between Baz and the pool, screening his view from Adrian.  Even though Craig was only 12, he was already taller than his brothers who were four years older.

 Adrian’s head poked above the surface on the other side of the pool and he laughed.  That seemed to break up the scary atmosphere.

 Pope turned away, heading back toward the house, bumping his shoulder into Baz’s.  Both guys went into the house leaving Craig, Deran and Adrian outside.

 Craig looked at Deran and then at Adrian who hung onto the far side of the pool, smiling. “Whoa, that was intense.”

 Deran fidgeted in place.  “Do you think it’s safe?”  He kept his voice low because he didn’t want Adrian to hear him.

 “Oh, yeah, I think Pope likes Adrian.”  Craig took a running start and did a cannon ball, splashing water all over the place, including onto Deran.

 His heart still pumped hard in his chest but Deran wanted to hang out with his friend.  This could be the last time Adrian came over.

 Or talked to Deran.

 His fucking family.

 Except Craig.  Although Craig was dunking his friend beneath the water. Fortunately, Adrian found it funny and laughed in his face before slipping away like an eel.

 Deran shrugged before diving into the pool.  He just wanted to have some fun.

 -0-

 Later that evening, after Adrian had gone home saying he’d had a blast and wanted to do it again, someone dropped by the house.  The intercom on the gate buzzed and Craig stepped outside to get a quick look.

 “Who the fuck drives a station wagon?”  Craig scratched the back of his neck.

 “Why don’t you go outside and find out, fart-knocker?” Baz rolled his eyes as he went into the kitchen.

 Deran squared his shoulders. “I’ll go with you.”

 Craig didn’t look thrilled but he nodded.

 They stepped outside and Craig was right; it was one of those wood panel station wagons.  Holy shit, it was Adrian!

 “Holy shit, that’s Jess Dolan.” Craig sounded worried.

 This was Adrian’s sister?  She got out of the wagon and glided over, Adrian at her back.  She had long blond hair and freckles and looked a lot like her brother.  She had to be 9 years older than Adrian since she could drive but she only had a few inches on him.  

 “Craig Cody, I thought you said you’d watch over Adrian if I let him come over.  What the hell happened to my little brother?”  She might be tiny but she was feisty as she glared at Craig.

 “Jess, I’m fine.”  Adrian grabbed her arm.

  She shook him off, folding her arms, huffing.  “You’re bruised around your waist!  That’s not fine.”

 Shit. That’s where Baz had grabbed Adrian when he’d dumped him into the pool.

 “Jesus, Jess, would you chill? We were just rough housing.” Adrian got between Craig and his sister. Deran wasn’t sure but he thought Adrian rolled his eyes at her.

 These Dolans were badasses. Jess wasn’t backing down from the much bigger Craig and Adrian was staring her down.  

 “Come on, Jess, let’s go home.” Adrian grabbed her hand and tugged her toward the car.

 She relented although she turned around and pointed a finger at Craig.  “If something happens to my brother, you’ll have to deal with me.” She turned her attention to Deran. “You, too, short stuff.”

 Adrian tugged her along although he turned around and mouthed I’m sorry before he shoved his sister into the driver’s seat.

 The wagon rocketed off in a plume of smoke.

 Deran looked at Craig; Craig looked back, his face blank.  

 His brother finally cleared his throat.  “I guess Adrian can handle himself.”

 Biting his lip, Deran stifled the urge to laugh.  He supposed if Adrian was used to dealing with that then he could hold his own with Deran’s brothers.

 Although Deran would be on his guard the next time he invited Adrian over.  

 Both because of his older brothers and Adrian’s sister.

Fucking families.

  Finis

[edelwary]

when you were first getting into art, what and how did you draw? (like did you just doodle ur masterpieces on pieces of paper and posted-notes or did you have a proper sketchbook) how did you find motivation? bc ive been trying to draw but I always get unmotivated and stop while still wanting to get better just by doing nothing.

REALLY LONG, LOTS OF ADVICES FOR ARTISTS : 

TL;DR ; skip to the HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW part bc i have a megaton of shit to say lol + The MOTIVATION part 

mmh… I’ll get into details with this one tbh bc it’s a long ass process ahah : 

I live by the sea ; when i was youung i used to draw TONS of boat, but like, dollhouse boats, you could see the insides and stuff ; i loved to add tiny details and stuff, and imbricate everything together !

around 8 or 9 yo, i went to the public library with school and discovered the wonderful world of mangas ! I basically… Copy pasted an entire Mermaid Melody tome x) 

For about 2 years i alternated between reading mangas and trying to copy them ! Then i just kept drawing in the margins of my schoolwork for about… 5 years ! I have a Fuck Ton of sketchbooks of that time, it was… The start. Lol. Never say it’s bad because it’s never bad, just not there yet !!

Around my 13 yo, i went every saturday, for two years, under a bookstore ; there was a cave, and drawing classes ; that teacher was mean and harsh and stuff, but like… Not really. He would take away my eraser for the class, force me to use pencil, to draw something else (bulky boys instead of magical girls). 

I’ve learned a lot, more in terms of How To LEARN to draw than to draw itself, but i still progressed a LOT !! 

Then i kept drawing by myself for a year and i really worked hard on it ; about hours a day, trying watercolors and stuff ; i have a real problem with colors in traditionnal art, but i’m much better with lines (i should scan some RAD stuff i made in the weekend, yall ive never done anything this good i stg i dont know why i always forget im so much better on paper) 

This gets us to my sweet 16 ; i have to year of advance, bc i got ‘’’promoted’’’ idk how to say it ; anyways, i entered my (current) animation school for the first year at 16; vERY IMPRESSIVE AND TERRIFYING. 

And i learned. A fuckmegaton. Of shit there. 

Now i’m going for my third year there and i can make photorealistic marmora blades and cyberkpunk decors if i want to and that’s rad, but here is

 HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW : 

I have one HYPER important advice, and i’m keeping it to heart since i’m like, 11 : Have. Sketchbooks. Please !!! It’s very important. Here’s why : 

You keep everything with you in one place. You have 1 sketchbook, it’s basically easy to take every where (a A5, or A4 are pretty easy to carry, i have like, 12 of those, and around 8 of A3) 

You keep track of what you’ve done. It’s super important, bc first you can cry of laughter at your old stuff bc its cute but not so good, and second, you can just be like ‘holy mama’ and see how much you’ve improved

It’s very important to be organized. I WORK in art, and trust me, if there’s something that i’ve learned this year through tears and missing files and bugs : Be. Impeccable. Now if it’s for fun, go a little loose, and just have a folder for art on your computer, and a sketchbook, no need to stress, but the better you try to keep a record of where is what, the better you’ll see whats wrong

Notebooks are friends !! You can draw, write, glue stuff, make notes, lists, everything !!! I have my life in those. It’s more important to me than any of my phones. 

Be proud of it. Like, not everything, duh ! But try to tell yourself than it’s like a RPG ; even if it’s only 2 xp here and there, one day you’ll beat level 40, and that’s super important : art is. Fuckin. Long.

I cant stress it enough. It’s soooo long !!! SO LONG !! it’s years. It’s like karate and fishing and ANYTHING. To be good at it, it takes time, but it WILL COME if you keep trying. There’s no secret passage. 

You’re gonna me it, believe in me who believes in you. 

Use. References. 

Coming from a little shit who’s got a really good visual memory, that can sound like bs, but i stg everything is always AT LEAST twice as good if you’ve used a visual support. 

I’m not saying COPY EVRYTHING (even though thats a good training) I’m saying, if you really want to do that asian tiger, please have at least two or three pictures of it nearby. Take photos of your hands, and stuff ! 

Make it harder. 

No eraser. 

Paint. 

I draw all my backgrounds on my sketchbook with INDIAN INK; no returns, no refunds. 

Ink, Ink, INK !! Don’t allow mistakes.

And if you make mistakes :

New page, restart

It’s okay

It’s for you

I once started back again a whole EXAM bc it was bad, i got one of my best grades 

You’ll improve and be more assured if you know you just have to DO IT. Trust me. It’s VISIBLE; if you can erase, you fidget and hesitate and ‘’kbeujebez hahhaaa idkkidsd’’ ; stop ; do it, and if you don’t like it ? Try again, there’s no time limit

Draw as large as you can 

There’s no interesting story here, it just helps. Bigger movement of the hand, more place for details, breathing lines

Thin lineart helps

Thinner. Make it even thinner

Break the rules, but not the ones that structure your art 

Big lineart ? Why not

Unfinished lines, vaporeous colors ? Pretty

Cubism is actually based on extensive and intense practice of classical art, it’s not wibbly wooblly ; the anatomy is more correct than you think 

Structure and composition are important, but so is movement and life ; choose your fighter ; mine is fluidity and fun, i’m like, a rogue/archer in drawing. Some people are dwarf fighter. That’s amazing and great. 

Don’t be afraid to do nothing

Pages and pages of my sketchbooks are actually just lance facing right and smiling, you know… 

Sometimes it just doesnt work : two ways :

Take a break, Kiki’s delivery service style

Keep trying, break your art until it obeys and comes back

Take breaks. Breath. 

Don’t compare. I do it, it doesn’t help at all. You’ll make it ; and if you compare, keep in mind that everyone’s different

I’m not gonna lie, it’s NOT easy, it’s even hard 

But I really, really think it’s worth it 

MOTIVATION :

My main bitch 

I’m always pumped for art because i can LITTERALLY NOT do anything else ; i love reading and writing and stuff but at the end of the day i just want !!! to draw !!!! aaaaaa-

Fall in love with it, and with the possibilities ; i have stories to tell, tell me yours ! Do your best, one day it WILL work

Actual advices : 

I have an inspiration blog where i just reblogs stuff i like to draw them later

Find a picture, copy it. Do it again. Change the characters (i have 2 ocs and Lance and Keith as default characters) in the pic. 

Like an artstyle ? Break it to its very core, analyse it, copy it, redo it, trace it and ABSORB it. Don’t copy/past, LEARN from your heroes.

Do what you like. I have 86578 pieces of voltron, this is not a coincidence. I have ENDLESS ideas for this show, wtf. 

Try new things. Buy indian ink im begging you. It’s so cool. 

Have a game with yourself, or a challenge. STICK TO IT. 

Study. When you’re bored, usually it’s because you’re stagnating. Make it harder or do hands until you cry. 

Love your backgrounds; make backgrounds, study trees, and tokyo streets, and venice’s bridges. Decor is just as cool as characters, if not more

Mess a little with everything. My roomate more than one found me stained from head to toes trying to DO STUFF 

Draw outfits. Draw what you want but can’t afford 

MAKE YOUR LIFE A COMIC. Remember those sketchbooks ? Make a comic a week/month/every full moon, whatever, and draw your life (mine’s the roomates au lol) 

Prompts blogs are cool too 

Make fanart of a fic you liked ; you have the characters and the pose already, you just have to illustrate ; double bonus, you probably will make a writer’s day, if not year !

That little movie that plays when you listen to your favorite song ? DRAW IT

Your favorite scene in your favorite movie ? Redraw each shot. On post it. Plus it looks awesome afterwards to have the infamous TREX scene of Jurassic Parks in post it

Get bored. That’s inevitable. Dance, scream, get back to it. Walk, draw everything you see. 

Make a paper google map street view : Take a walk : every 50 meters, draw what is in front of you. 

Snapchats your friends. Draw their snapchats when they answer 

Draw maps. Invent places. Invent bikes, and hovercrafts, and monsters. Make your everyday inventory. Make your life a video game, and do the concept arts of it. 

FETCH your inspiration. I have approx. 20 artbooks, full of drawings and concept arts of my fave movies/games ; take what you like and add it to the story you have since you’re 8. We all have one. 

Ask for it ; your sis, your mom, me even ! If you dont have ideas, someone will have them. 

WELL i’m gonna stop there, even though i got like, 9864567 more to say, but with this you should be fine ! Anon, i’m rooting for you ! we all start somewhere, just hold on!!!! 

[pokefanbri]

1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.

So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)

But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.

They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.

But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.

But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.

But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.

Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.

God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♀️ so who gives a crap.

These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 05.09.17 lb

lololol shivaay turning the paper this way and that trying to read it (it’s in marathi, lol) 😂😂😂

hein? this house has a staircase also???? leading where???? 🤔🤔🤔

shivaaaay + chaaaaaaaai = this should be interesting. 😐😐😐

oh boy she wants him to drink it from the saucer. (always seemed weird to me.) 😕😕😕

lmaoooo “no, that doesn’t sound right.” 😂😂😂

props to him for actually trying this. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

“IT’S GOOD!”  “MERE mooh mein paani aa gaya tha!” 

lmao my tharki mind is interpreting this whole conversation in a verrrrrrrry different way! 😏😏😏

lmaoooooooooooo baalti wali bath! ab aayega mazaaaaaa. the true middle class experience! never am i more humbled than when i have to do a baalti bath back in india. 😌😌😌

please to be watching this video by my fav, kenny sebastian, and him describing the process super accurately. my place in kerala is in the city and the bathroom is in the house and all (ooooh! so fancy!), but this is pretty much how it goes. i can smell the medimix just watching this video! 🙃🙃🙃

you were so pleased with the “rain water harvesting” yesterday billu. time to walk the talk! 😊😊😊

LOL HE TOOK HER SERIOUSLY. 😂😂😂

pft, “humare paas sabun bhi hai????” idiottttt 🙄🙄🙄

LMAO HE TOOK HER SERIOUSLY ABOUT THE DATUN TOO. MAN, RICH PEOPLE ARE SO FUN TO FUCK WITH. 🤣🤣🤣

“main jaa raha hoon nahaane ke liye. tum chalogi mere saath?”

lmao why, billu? do you want a witness for your embarrassment? trust me, you’re not gonna feel even remotely sexy while doing a middle class baalti bath. 

gauri is worried about becoming vidhwaa 6 months into her marriage. 😬😬😬

LMAOOOOO AAPKO US SAAND KE SAATH BAITHKE CHITHRA NAHI BANANE HAI 😂😂😂

OH MY GOD OMKARA, YOU ARE TRULY AN IDIOT. DANGAL MOVIE DEKHNE SE KOI PEHELWAN NAHI HO JAATA. MATLAB,  I’VE WATCHED LEGALLY BLONDE 300 TIMES, MAIN LAWYER THODI HO GAYI HOON. 😒😒😒

same, gauri. #same. 

oufff shivaay ke sarrr se nkk ka bhoot utarkar iske sarrr chadh gaya hai. 😑😑😑

hahahaha herrrrr imitation. her faaaace. i love her so much. 😂😂😂

OMG WTF EVEN ARE THESE KURTAS SHIVAAY IS WEARING THEY LOOK FUCKING RIDICULOUS, WHY ISN’T HE JUST WEARING HIS REGULAR KURTAS THAT HE WEARS AT HOME?!!?!? CURSE YOU SHIRALI CURSE YOU TO HELL, JUST LET THE MAN LIVE 😫😫😫

oh boyyyy chawl udaana hai 😬😬😬

10 to 1 the maalik is…

…. YUP. 😒😒😒

the fuck shivaay, do you even pay attention to half the orders you give? 😐😐😐 how many bldgs have you felled like this without even knowing?

ok the rule was to not use your name and identity for undue advantages. not for situations like these! 😩😩😩

OH MY GOD HE’S ACTUALLY YOUTUBING HOW TO DO KUSHTI. 😧😧😧

son, if that worked, all the fitness videos i watch and subscribe to would have me sporting 6 pack abs and zero jiggle. 😣😣😣

lmao ek din mein 5 kele khaa ke kya hona hai????? 😶😶😶

chor naukar has an unsolicited opinion. 🙄🙄🙄

lmao their reaction! omki’s “get a load of this guy!” head nod. baat aane par dono ek team ho gaye. abhi chor ki jamkar dhulaai hogi. 😂😂😂

hey chawl-blower-upper-dude, why are you such an asshole? just chill maybe? 😒😒😒

gotta love these oBahus and how they’re all ready to throw down the second someone is mean to their patis.  (ง •̀_•́)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง 

GOD SHIVAAY YOU’RE AN IDIOT. JUST MAKE A CALL AND GET YOUR OFFICE TO STOP THE PLAN. HONESTLY. 😒😒😒

“IS CHAWL MEIN REHNE WAALA EK AAM AADMI.” 

WHOSE HAIR KE HIGHLIGHTS COST MORE THAN THE MONTHLY BUDGET OF PPL IN THIS CHAWL. 🙄🙄🙄

…. is he sitting ON the dynamite? 😟😟😟

lmao only the rich think that “the right to peacefully protest” achieves ANYTHING in india. bitch, the aam aadmi has no TIME to protest, peacefully or otherwise. humein ghar bhi chalaane hote hai. 🙄🙄🙄

i feel bad for the explosion guy. he’s also an aam aadmi, trying to do his damn job. kahaan is majnu se paala pad gaya aaj. 😑😑😑

…. and you’re only doing this for anika and sahil? they have alternate housing and are sorted in life now. WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE LIVING IN THE CHAWL WHO DON’T? AM I SUPPOSED TO AWWWWW OVER THIS BS? 😤😤😤

anika’s like OMG!SEXXXXXXXXX TAKE ME NOW HUBBY hearing that sentimental pap though. oh well. whatever works for her. 😕😕😕

lmaooooo her mooophat jawab and his honest laugh at her bindaass-ness. 😊😊😊

the couple that does dharna together, stays together, i guess? 🤔🤔🤔

ok i can’t stop laughing at omki’s hella lame kushti moves. that too, with this untrained idiot who’s not even that heavily built. such false complacency. 😐😐😐

omki going in with some classic WWE moves. 😊😊😊

gauri’s excitement is hella cute though. 😍😍😍

“abbe kahan jaa raha hai bhaag ke? practice kiske saath karoonga abhi?” 

pffffffffffft. 

wifey be like I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE. 🙋🏽🙋🏽🙋🏽

girl, stop putting the sunglasses on every 3 minutes to look cool. woh bhi raat mein. it’s laaaaaaame. 🙄🙄🙄

sure. ok. with all the hair open. you been hanging out with bhavya too much. 😑😑😑

omki be like, oh yeah baby, imma wrestle with you. imma wrestle with you gooooooooooood. imma lift you up and pin you down and then take my shirt off and… hmm? what? yes. wrestling. this is how it’s done. (in the dangal themed porno i came across on the dark side of the web during my “research”.) 😏😏😏😏

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 😍😍😍😍

i like how the chulbul moments are there too. omki is canon confirmed bi/pan/demisexual, fiiiiiiiiiiight me. 😊😊😊

haaaaaaye my cuties. 💖💖💖

i like how it’s night in… lonavla or wherever the f rikara are, and early morning in mumbai where shivika are. because the two places are in DIFFERENT TIME ZONES 12 HOURS APART. 😐😐😐

balbirrrrrrrr should NOTTTTTTTTTT have done that. 😠😠😠

LMAO ��AYE INKE HEIGHT PE MAT JAA!!!!!!!!”  “BOLNA ZAROORI THA YEH?” “YEH MOTA AAPKE HEIGHT KA MAZAAK UDAA RAHA HAI!” “haan, aur tum usse aur underline kar do!!!” 

my god what a family of fighty little munchkins this is today. 😊😊😊

oh, iska boss bhi idhar hi hai? 

LMAO IS THAT KHANNAAAAAAAAAA?????????? HAHAHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

lollllllllllllll khanna’s been using the SSO name to act like big mannnnn. 

“namaste khannaji!” “nahi, BOSS!” 

heeeee heeee heeeeeee 😂😂😂

ok that looks like the most uncomfortable way to sleep, gauri. 

has he been practicing all night????? great, he’s gonna go wrestle with NO training, and not having SLEPT either. idiot. 😒😒😒

oufffff gauri ask bhavya to send BACKUP instead of asking her for kushti tips, jfc. 😑😑😑

billu ka swaagat toh aise kiya jaa raha hai jaise jung se lauta ho. fucking ridiculous. 🙄🙄🙄

such cute. 💖💖💖💖💖💖

dadi gave you the fucking night off from her pehredaari to go at it like rabbits and you spent it talking about baltis and whatnot. this is what you call WASTE OF OPPORTUNITY. 😫😫😫😫

bhavya looking 10000% done with rudra is me. #freeMyGirl 😣😣😣

lo, billu ne bhavya ko bhi adopt kar liya. he’s like who needs stupidass brothers when i can have AWESOMEASS SISTERSSSSSSSS 😊😊😊

LMAOO RUDRA’S LOOK OF BETRAYAL 🤣🤣🤣🤣

don’t think i missed bhavya looking all choked up though. 😭😭😭

allllllllll the toe touches in the world aren’t gonna help ya, omki. 😐😐😐

dude, like yeh balram legit apne khanna ka bhai lagta hai. 😗😗😗

of course he’s not gonna listen. 🙄🙄🙄

aaaaaaaaaaaand there goes the lassi. and the omkara. 😕😕😕

OMG THAT SHOT OF HIS FACE BOUNCING OFF THE FLOOR HAHAHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣

HE’S FUCKING OUT. WITHOUT EVEN STEPPING INTO THE RING LOLOLOLOLOLOL. THIS IS FUCKING HILAAAAAAAAAAAARIOUS HAHAHAHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

LMAO HOW EVEN IS THE SHOW PLAYING THIS AS A SERIOUS MOMENT I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING OMG 😂😂😂😂

ouff. stupid mardaangi taunts. #masculinitySoFragile

ok fwding the nonsense till bulbul gets into the ring. 

aw. bhavyaaa. *hugs her* we love you, we do. which is why we want better for you than f’ing rudra. sumo toh khud hi jaan chudaaa kar chali gayi. ab tumhe kaise bachaaye is se. 🙁🙁🙁

anika’s crying too. and has dialogues about family ka hissa and all. all that is okay, but please god don’t make her chutki. 😬😬😬

rudra calling for cessation of this divisive team policy in order to get some bro bonding time. 😌😌😌

waaah, dadi maan bhi gayi. 😯😯😯

wait, shivaay and rudra have a GANG? these ppl have OTHER friends??? 😧😧😧

surprise element? um… idk why but my mind instantly went to bachelor party and strippers. 😬😬😬

gauri be like BITCH, DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE AND EK JHAANP MEIN DEEWAR PE SATTAAO-FY YOU 😠😠😠😠

big talk from all the men. PFT. COMEEEEEEEEE ONNNNN GAURIIII. 

LMAO THE INTERCUTS TO SHOW OM STILL PASSED OUT COLD IS MAKING ME LOL SO HARD 😂😂😂

girl please, TIE YOUR DAMN HAIR UP. WHAT’S WRONG WITH ALL THE WOMEN IN THIS SHOW 😩😩😩

can balram stop with the stupid yelling and faces? coz does this woman look intimidated by it? uh. that would be a resounding NO. 🙄🙄🙄

ok fwding. coz honestly i fucking CAN’T. 

god just fucking kick him in the nutsssss and END THISSSSSS 😫😫😫

LMAO OMKI JUST WOKE UP AND IS LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK 😟😟😟😟😟

hold up, few seconds ka rewind. waaah, shivaay ki tarah ab isse bhi Awareness™ chadhta hai when wife is hurt/in danger. 

mubarak ho on your new superpowers, omkiiii! they’re gonna make your life an anxiety-ridden hell, since YOUR wife wants to fight every third person she meets. 🙃🙃🙃

hubs be like AW HELL NO, NO ONE MESSES WITH MY CHIRAIYYA; HERE HAVE A KICK TO THE GODDAMN CHEST 😤😤😤😡😡😡

arre waaaaah. out in like a minute. omki toh bada chupaa rustam nikla! boy, take off that shirt so we can see what you’re REALLLLLLYY working with, body wise. you know, FOR RESEARCH. 😗😗😗

what “uthhhhhh balram”??? whoever hits the ground back-first loses. and he’s lost. fuck off now sadde hue tauji. 😒😒😒

haaaaaaaaaaaye. my sweeeetooooos. 💗💗💗

actualllllllly cryingggggg at omkiiiiii freely confessing that he couldn’t bear to see her get hurttttttttt. 😭😭😭😭😭

“shankarji ki tarah gusse mein aapki teesri aankh khul gayi.” 😅😅😅

JUST KISS ALREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 😩😩😩😩

yes ok uncleji, thanks for your completely unsolicited validation but we just want the murti, so give us that and we’ll be on our way, thanks. 😒😒😒

rikara be like pyaaaaaaar? whaaat? no! we’re just roomies! with a lot of sexual tension. 😯😯😯😯😯

lmaoooo chubby has some new cockamamie scheme. 😆😆😆

hahahaha “investment”. sure. maybe ask your cambridge mba waala bhaiyya how investments actually work?????? 🙄🙄🙄