#and i've tried to convince myself that it will never get as bad as when i was 14-16

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[posititties]

i feel so dependent on things/people to make me happy and if there;s one thing anyone knows about me it's that i hate feeling dependent on anything :\ waarom kan ik niet gewoon wakker worden zonder dat m'n eerste gedachte 'je verdient het niet om hier te zijn' is ? waarom kan ik niet gewoon wakker worden en zin hebben in de dag.. waarom moet ik altijd een extra stap nemen om die gedachte weg te krijgen voordat ik oké genoeg ben en waarom ben ik zo afhankelijk van dingen om me heen om die gedachte weg te krijgen

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Dirty Laundry

Summary: Life with two toddlers has taken a toll on your sex life for the past few weeks, but after a surprisingly calm morning, you and Javi find a creative solution to solve your problem.

Word Count: 2.8K

Pairing: Husband!Javier Peña x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (do better, but also, who am I to say?) vaginal fingering, paise kink, a breeding kink so dangerous that you may get pregnant just from reading, creampie, cum play, a loud washer and dryer, no actual laundry accomplished, domestic girl dad Javi, you'll always be famous

A/N: idk who unlocked my cell while I was ovulating, but once again I have escaped, and once again, we're makin' babies. I think I've convinced myself I don't know how to write anything else, and for that, I am genuinely sorry. If wanting to give Javier Peña a football team worth of kids is a crime, then lock me up and throw away the goddamn key 🤠

Can be read as a standalone or as a part of the Never Too Late Series!

For as much as you loved your daughters, it was safe to say that for the past two weeks, your pair of rambunctious toddlers had been doing very little for your sex life. 

Your 4 year old Lucy had been going through a phase of having nightmares every night, and somehow ending up in you and Javi’s bed no matter what you tried. That, combined with trying to potty train your 2 year old, Elliot, (who was nowhere close to being the breeze her older sister it was when it came to the matter), on top of preschool, work, and life in general, you and Javi had barely gotten so much as a kiss in, let alone some quality time together. 

It had been your hope to start trying for baby number three, but after 2 months of negative pregnancy tests and another month of complete chaos, despite your best intentions, “trying” had very much taken a backseat in your mental to-do list.  

But this morning when you woke up, it was almost as if a wave of calm had washed over your house to reset the state of disarray you had been in the past few weeks- Both girls had slept through the night in their own beds, had woken up in good spirits, Elliot asked to use the bathroom multiple times, and both had been happy to play in the living room together quietly as you worked on catching up on some much needed laundry. 

So calm, in fact, that Javi was almost worried when he came downstairs for work to hear near silence, apart from the occasional giggles from the girls as they arranged their Fisher Price Little People in their Play Barn and the washer running in the background. 

“Hi Daddy!” Lucy cooed, toddling over to her dad, wrapping her arms around his waist as Elliot quickly followed behind, perching on his leg like a koala. 

“Buenos días, niñas. (Good morning, girls).” Javi grinned, squatting down to kiss the wild, sleepy curls of his daughters’ heads, still slightly confused by the tranquil state of the house. “Where’s Momma?” 

“Washing stinky socks.” Lucy giggled, pinching her nose and scrunching her face, pretending to have smelled something bad. 

“Yeah, stinky socks.” Elliot echoed, sticking out her tongue. 

“Oh yeah? Is it because my pollitas (little chickens) have stinky, smelly feet?” Javi teased, wrapping his arms around the girls, pulling them close to his chest as he tickled their sides, the three erupting in laughter and giggles. 

“What’s goin’ on out here, huh?” You grinned, stepping out of the laundry room with your arms playfully crossed against your chest to see your husband and daughters in a tickle tackle pile on the living room floor. 

“Daddy said we have stinky feet! Daddy’s got stinky feet, not me and Elliot.” Lucy protested. 

“I think you and Daddy both have stinky feet, Lucy Lu, and your dirty laundry proves it.” You smiled, watching Javi give one last big kiss to each of the girls before pushing up off the floor with a grunt, making his way over to you. “Good morning, Mr. Stinky Feet.” 

“Hey, c’mon now. I can’t have you all gangin’ up on me.” Javi pouted through his smirk, wrapping his arm around your waist as his lips softly met yours, his words sweet and low as they danced against your skin. “Good morning, Hermosa.” 

His kiss lingered just long enough to send butterflies swirling through your stomach, biting down on your lip to try and keep your heart beating any faster than it already was. You stood there for another moment, eyes locking with his as the grip around your waist tightened just subtly enough to hint his mind was in the same place as yours. 

You were finding a way to finally have sex this morning. 

You could feel the arousal already beginning to pool in your core, swallowing hard as Javi tilted his head and raised his eyebrows at you while his hand slid further down your waist towards your ass, trying to devise a plan for the two of you to be alone long enough to do what you had both been so desperately craving these past few weeks. 

As you turned your head back over your shoulder in search of ideas, a devilish grin spread across your face, looking back to Javi to gently tug on the maroon tie dangling from his neck, twisting the end through your fingers. 

“I think I really need help with the laundry before you leave for work.” You mewled, leaning in to press another kiss to his plush lips, followed by another on his cheek and neck, Javi letting a soft groan rumble in his chest. 

“Oh Fuck, baby. What do we do about the girls?” He asked quietly, trying his best to keep his composure as the dark brown of his eyes grew hungrier with want. 

“Snack and a movie? There’s already a baby monitor out in the living room, and if we put on “The Little Mermaid”, it should buy us enough time.” You nodded in reassurance of your own idea, already growing antsy with anticipation. 

“God, I love you.” Javi smirked, giving you one more kiss and a firm squeeze of your ass before breaking away towards the kitchen so you could execute your plan. 

“Hey girls?” you called, making your way towards the living room where they were back to playing, “Daddy needs to help Mommy with some, um- laundry. So if we put on “The Little Mermaid”, can you show us what big girls you are and let you watch the movie all by yourselves?” You asked, doing your best to play up your request. 

“Yes, yes, yes!” Elliot squealed, clapping and stomping her feet. “Wittle Mermaid!” 

“Okay, go get your blankets and sit on the couch and Daddy’s gonna bring you a snack to watch the movie with.” 

“Yay! Movie time, movie time!” Lucy shrieked as the girls ran to go grab their things, plopping themselves on to the respective corners of the couch. While you searched for the VHS in the entertainment center, Javi returned from the kitchen with two much bigger than needed bowls of Teddy Grahams, turning on the TV as you pushed the tape into the receiver and pressed play. 

With the bright blue Disney logo appearing across the screen and your daughters both happily snuggled with their snacks on the sofa, you and Javi gave each other the silent nod of approval, slowly backing away towards the laundry room while the girls sat in content and entranced silence. 

After one last peek, you carefully closed and locked the laundry room door behind you, quickly followed by turning on both the washing machine and the dryer, trying to do yourself any favors you could by drowning out any suspicious sounds.  

“Good?” Javi asked once more for reassurance, feeling his slacks get tighter and tighter around his crotch by the second as he waited for your response. 

Without a single word, your lips were crashing into his, a messy dance of tongues and teeth ensuing between you as your bodies bumped against the laundry room counter, limbs tangled together in a frantic race to remove clothes. 

“Fuck, I missed you. Missed this.” Javi groaned, helping you slide your top over your head and unclip your bra as he nipped at your neck, pushing your back against the dryer and caging your body under him. 

“I know, baby, me t-too.” You whimpered, reaching out to undo Javi’s belt buckle, shoving his pants down to his thighs, followed by his boxers, freeing his cock as it slapped against the dark hairs on the happy trail of his stomach. “Missed having your big dick inside me.” 

“Fuck.” Javi swore under his breath as you reached out to stroke him, swiping your thumb over his weeping tip to rub the precum up and down his shaft as he shoved your the waistband of your pants and underwear down your hips just far enough to let them fall to the floor around your ankles. 

As much as you both desperately wanted to take your time, worshiping every inch of each other’s bodies until you had nothing left to give, you knew time was not on your side. After a few more strokes, you pulled back, letting Javi snake his hand against your body to slide between your legs, the slightest graze of his fingertips already making you shutter with need. 

At this point, even after the few weeks it had been without Javi inside you, you were wet enough that you could have taken him without any warm up, your core dripping with your arousal to the point it was smearing the inside of your thighs with its shiny coating. But even with your cunt soaking wet and time working against you, Javi couldn’t help but drag his fingers through your folds, curling to push up into your tight hole and prod against your g-spot. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re so wet. This all for me, Momma? Missed me fillin’ you up with my cock? Missed me fucking you full of my cum, huh baby?” Javi growled, his words shooting straight to your cunt, making you clamp down tighter around his fingers and your clit throb with intensity.  

It had been a minute since baby making had been at the forefront of your mind, but his question set off something animalistic in the both of you, knowing that right now could give you a chance at baby number three that you had been wishing for. 

“Y-yes, Javi, fuck- want you to fill me up, baby. Want you to fill me up until you fuck a baby into me.” 

It was then that Javi couldn’t have been more thankful that you had turned on the washer and dryer to try and drown out your noise, because the groan he let escape from his parted lips was much louder than he intended. 

But then again, there were few things in this world that turned him on more than you begging him to knock you up, so what did he expect? 

Scooping his arms under your thighs, Javi hoisted you on top of the dryer, your ass hitting the cold, vibrating metal with a thud as your lips collided again with desperate ferocity, muffled moans escaping from your mouths. 

“Dirty fuckin’ girl. Want me to knock you up again, Momma? Give you another baby?” Javi smirked, reaching to line his cock up with your entrance, swiping his tip through your folds to collect your slick and coat it along his length before he pushed inside you, sinking deeper and deeper until he bottomed out, hips flush with yours. 

Words couldn’t describe how much you had missed the sweet stretch and sting of Javi’s fullness, each inch of him feeling better than the last, sobbing out as his tip kissed your cervix, all inhibitions of self-composure completely tossed out the window. Still sunk deep in your cunt, Javi’s hand shot over your mouth, stifling your cries in his palm. 

“Shhhhhh, I know, Osita. You gotta keep quiet though, baby.” 

You nodded frantically in compliance, Javi’s hand dropping to grip around your waist as you tried to catch your breath. “M-move, Javi, please.” Your whimpering request borderlining pathetic with how badly you needed him. 

“You promise you’re gonna be a good girl and keep quiet?” 

“Mhmmmm. I promise, baby, please.” 

With that, Javi’s hips began to snap, dragging his cock in and out of you at a dangerous pace, coating the walls with the sounds of the wet sounds of your cunt and slapping skin, muffled by the washer and dryer. 

“Oh my God, Javi. Fuck. Fuck, you feel so good.” You whined, locking your legs behind the small of Javi’s back, keeping him as close to you as possible as he fucked in and out of you. You draped your arms around his shoulders, fingers burying themselves in the dark curls at the nape of his neck. 

The closeness had the hairs at the base of his cock rubbing deliciously against your clit, adding to the tension beginning to build at the base of your spine, both of you knowing it wouldn’t take long to get where you needed to go after weeks without being able to have each other like this. 

Javi could feel it too, his balls beginning to tense with each pump, using every ounce of self control to keep from preemptively spilling into you, his hands digging into the soft flesh of your hips and thighs, holding on to you like his life depended on it. 

“Jesus, Fuck- Fuck, I missed this tight little pussy so much. Gonna cum so deep inside you. So deep it’s gotta fucking take. God, you’re so fucking sexy when you’re pregnant. I swear I’ll give you as many babies as you want, Hermosa.” Javi babbled, biting down on his lip as he pounded into you, reaching one of his hands down to circle at your wet, puffy clit, aching to be relieved from all the built up tension. 

At this point, you were so drunk on pleasure that you could barely remember your own name, feeling your orgasm begin to build through every inch of your body in a way that had you seeing stars, digging your fingernails into Javi’s shoulders and burying your face in the crook of his neck to keep from crying out his name, forcing yourself to whisper incoherent sweet nothings against his skin. 

“P-please, Javi. F-fill me up. Oh shit- Fuck, baby, I’m so close.” 

Javi’s thrusts became sloppier and more erratic, fingers rubbing your clit with the perfect amount of pressure to coax your orgasm out of you before he followed suit, gritting his teeth and furrowing his brow in intense concentration. 

“That’s it, baby. Cum all over me. Soak my fucking cock before I fuck you full of me and knock you up. C’mon, Momma.” 

Suddenly, your orgasm crashed through you, lighting your body up like a goddamn Christmas tree, every inch of your body radiating with bliss as you clamped down around Javi’s cock, biting down on his shoulder as you came to try and stifle your cries. 

Javi was only moments behind you, letting out a low grunt with the final sutter of his hips as he came, coating your walls with his warm spend, fucking it into with every ounce he had left until he had milked himself dry. 

Your bodies collapsed into each other, rising and falling in sync with heavy breaths like you had just finished the last mile of a marathon and collapsed at the finish line, damp and sticky with your sweat. 

As much as Javi didn’t want to pull out, he could feel his cock beginning to soften and the mixture of your spend leaking from your hole. Refusing to let a drop go to waste, he pulled out of you, a groan rumbling low in his chest as he wrapped his hand around his length, dragging his tip up through your folds and collecting the cum that had been dripping out. Taking the wet mess he had gathered with his cock, he pushed himself back into you, slowly thrusting in and out of you, a devilish smirk spreading across his face at the absolutely obscene sound coming from between your legs. 

“Promise me,” Javi gulped between pants, finally pulling out of you again, “Promise we never go this long without having sex again. Holy Fuck.” 

“Promise.” You couldn’t help but giggle in agreement, coming down from your blissed out high. “God, that was the longest two weeks ever. Don’t know why we didn’t think of this sooner.” 

“Because we’ve been sleep deprived and exhausted, and our little monstros (monsters) have been giving us a run for our money.” Javi chuckled, reaching behind you to grab a towel from the cabinet above the dryer, quickly rinsing it in the sink before wiping you up and helping you find all of your clothes. 

“Are we crazy for wanting another one?” You asked, looking down at your stomach, thinking about the ramifications of what you had just done. 

“Maybe. But you drive me so fucking crazy, we may end up with 10 before you know it.” 

“Javi! Dear lord, we are not having 10 kids, you psycho.” You laughed, playfully slapping your husband on the shoulder. 

“Stop being so hot and I’ll stop knockin’ you up.” Javi smirked, raising his eyebrows at you as you rolled your eyes at him knowing damn well you’d have a whole army of his kids if he really wanted. 

“You’re ridiculous, I hope you know that. Alright, you need to get your ass to work and I need to feed the gremlins before I drop Lucy off at preschool. Let’s go, cowboy.” You grinned, playfully smacking Javi on the ass, giving him a quick kiss as you made your way towards the door. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, Osita. I gotta remember to call my dad on the way into work.” 

“Call your dad? Why?” 

“To see if Abuelo can take the girls this weekend so you and I can catch up on a lot of laundry.” 

Taglist:

@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @bbiophiliaa @purpleprincess75 @angelofsmalldeath-codeine

@pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24

@3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85

@partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo

@endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @milly-louise

@jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled

@pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @vee-bees-blog

@hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @msmorningstaarr

@amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild

@copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog

@samgirl4life @pigeonmama @survivingandenduring @itsokbbygrl @javierpena-inatacvestnotifs

@purpleprincess75

[prinvessdior]

Three times you ask Kinich for something and the one time he asks for something.

tags: first person soz, bff! Mualani, I forgot ab Ajaw lol, y/n has a vision, established relationship, first kiss, just cute as hell, ft. me trying to write romantic tension.

wc: 3.6k

a/n: idk,, i think he needs more fics but yes crossposted on ao3 still editing as well

feel free to leave me req or msgs for any charc <3!

◣──•~❉᯽❉~•──◢

I think this was the fifth time I had water up my nose this afternoon. Or maybe it was the sixth, definitely. My nose and throat burned as I gasped for air above the water. My surfboard flung up beside me with another slap of water to my face. I hoisted myself back up to sit over my borrowed board. Mualani let me borrow one of her old ones from childhood. Since I'd never been able to surf. I wrung out my hair over my shoulder. "This is so hard," I whined to Mualani who padded over on her own board over to me.

Mualani only laughed, laying down on her stomach, "You're doing fine for a beginner." I doubted it. "Keep practicing, maybe you could finally convince Kinich to come to swim." 

I snorted and rolled my eyes, "Yeah like that'll happen."  

Mualani giggled, "He's a lost cause. Maybe if you asked him nicely, he might change his mind," she teased, sending me a look with a knowing smile. 

"I don't think a simple 'please' will do the trick," I retorted, paddling my board backward in the shallows. "He'd probably just come up with some excuse like 'I don't want to get my clothes wet' or something, and then go back to what he was doing," I grumbled.

Mualani snickered. "He can be such a diva sometimes. It's like he's scared to have any fun. I don’t know how you can date a guy like that."

She was being dramatic. He wasn’t that bad. I’ve known practically everyone since I was a kid, I know the ins and outs. Kinich just.. more so liked to keep to himself. I didn’t mind it though it really seemed like we had just become really good friends now even after putting a relationship title on us. 

"Though I'm sure he'd do anything you asked," Mualani says with a nod

I quickly looked away.

"Don't be ridiculous," I mumbled, "Kinich doesn't listen to anyone, let alone me." I quickly looked away.

Mualani gave me a knowing smile. "Oh come on, don't pretend you haven't noticed the way he looks at you. That boy is absolutely smitten with you."

I tried to feign indifference, though my heart thumped in my chest. "He doesn't look at me any differently than he looks at everyone else."

Mualani raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious? He's practically drooling every time you're around. And he always insists on helping you with anything you need, no matter how menial."

I shifted uncomfortably in my waterlogged swimsuit. "That's just who he is. He's like that with everyone. He's just...a good guy." I don’t think I wanted to spill my guts with my best friend about my relationship just yet.

Mualani rolled her eyes. "You can be so clueless sometimes. Trust me on this."

I huffed, pushing my soaked hair out of my eyes. "Even if you're right, which you're not, I doubt he'd ever actually do anything about it. Kinich is too aloof to make a move."

Mualani smirked. "That's where I think you're wrong. I've seen the way he stares at you when you're not looking. That boy has it bad. If you ask me, he's just been waiting for the right moment.”

I narrowed my eyes with a laugh, "Sure, and dendro slimes will fly someday. Besides, I can't even imagine Kinich acting all romantic. He's too sarcastic and quippy for mushiness."

Mualani shrugged. "Maybe you should try giving him a hint then. See if he responds. I know he'd be all over you in a heartbeat if he thought he had a chance."

"I don't know, Mualani...he's always been so closed off. It wouldn’t feel natural."

Mualani grinned. "Well, you could always try being a bit more... flirtatious. Give him some nonverbal cues to let him know you're interested. A touch on the arm, a smile, a compliment, something like that. See how he responds."

"Yeah, nope," I said with a determined nod, I'd give up my pyro vision back to our archon before doing something as embarrassing as that.

“C'mon! What’s the harm in it?”

I gave Mualani a pointed look, “The harm is we’ve only been together three months.” 

Mualani groaned, “But you’ve been friends for years!” She emphasized by splashing me with water.

I splashed her back, “I don’t expect anything from Kinich, Lani, I’m fine with what we have now.” 

“Yeah, but, did you ask him that? Maybe he wants to be closer with you.” 

Okay, yeah maybe I hadn’t thought about that. I paused mid-splash attack. “Oh.” 

Another splash of water to my face, as I tipped sideways losing balance sitting on my surfboard. I tipped straight into the water making another splash for the seventh time. 

Mualani was laughing when I arose from the surface. “Just try it. It’s not like he’ll outright reject you.” 

I gave Mualani a glare, “I’m going to go change. I’m done learning today.” 

“Ouchie, you really know how to burn me.” Mualani sighs with a dramatic expression. 

“Insanity.” I mumbled padding back to the shore with my best friend trailing behind me. Still making dramatic plans about how to get my boyfriend to be more open. I was not listening as she rambled all the way back to my house. 

◣──•~❉᯽❉~•──◢

I liked living right beside the hot springs. Even the ones that weren’t heated were usually the ones I gravitated towards. Given that Natlan was already hot, I never remembered my normal body temperature being this hot before I received my Pyro vision. 

But right now, I think I was jealous of Cyro Vision users. Kachina had requested my help near her tribe. She wanted to collect flowers among herbs, and fruits for the traveler to help her gain enough confidence to enter into the night warden wars. 

But it was too hot, and I was craving a bath. Being drenched in sweat was horrible. I didn’t want to complain in front of Kachina so I continued to follow her, we’d strayed far from The Children of The Echo’s tribe. 

“Do you think this is enough?” I asked the smaller girl once we’d stopped near a stream. 

“Uh-! I-.. I think so!” Kachina reached her arms up to take the fruits nestled in my bag. I happily let her take it as I took a seat near the stream for a much-needed breather. 

“Great, I’m just gonna.. sit down for a while.” 

Kachina gave me a nod with a bright smile. Which in turn made me smile. I felt like a big sister whenever I was with Kachina. It made it better that she was so smart and easy to talk to. I closed my eyes as a gust of wind helped cool my sweltering face. 

Kachina sat down beside me, dipping her toes into the water. “Thank you for helping me today, I really appreciate it.”

I smiled, grateful for the respite. “Of course, Kachina. It’s the least I can do. The Traveler did so much for you.”

She nodded, her expression thoughtful. “Yeah, they really did. I wouldn’t have had the courage to join the Night Warden Wars without their support.”

We sat by the stream, the cool water lapping at my feet, and my mind drifted back to what Mualani had said the day before. Could it really be that simple? Just say please? I found myself lost in a whirlwind of emotions as the cool water of the stream rippled around me. 

“Y/n? Y/n!” Kachina’s voice broke through my reverie, pulling me back to the present.

”Huh.” I blinked, realizing she was talking to someone. I turned to see Kinich standing there, looking a bit awkward but smiling warmly. 

“Hey, Y/n,” he greeted, his voice a little uncertain. “Are you okay?”

I forced a smile, trying to shake off my embarrassment. “Oh, hey, Kinich. Yeah, I’m fine. Just, you know, dying of the heat,” I joked, fanning myself dramatically.

He chuckled, his eyes softening. “Yeah, it’s pretty brutal today.” He turned to me and narrowed his eyes. “Should you really be out here for much longer? You don’t look so good.”

Before I could respond, Kachina’s face fell, and she quickly apologized. “Oh no, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize you weren’t feeling well. I shouldn’t have taken you so far.”

I shook my head, giving her a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, Kachina. I wanted to come out and help you. Really.”

She still looked worried, but I could see she was trying to believe me. I took a deep breath, deciding albeit hesitantly that if I were to test Mualani’s theory. Any time would be the best time “Kinich, could you please get me some water from the stream? I think it would help me cool down.”

To my surprise, he didn’t hesitate. Without a single sarcastic comment or playful tease, he nodded and walked over to the stream. The next thing I felt was the cool, wet rag on my forehead, and sighed in relief. Kinich's gentle touch was comforting as he helped me sit back down. My body was still cooling off from Natlan’s scorching heat.

"Thank you, Kinich," I said, looking up at him with a small smile.

He smiled back, though it was more a twitch of lips upwards, his eyes warm. "It was no problem at all. Just take it easy for a bit."

I nodded, leaning back into the grass. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kachina watching us. She seemed to be trying hard not to look awkward, and I couldn't help but find it endearing.

"Are you okay, Y/n?" Kachina asked, her voice filled with genuine concern.

"Yeah, I think so," I replied, giving her a reassuring smile. "Just a bit... overwhelmed, I guess."

Kachina nodded, her cheeks flushing slightly. "You two are really cute together," she blurted out, then immediately looked like she regretted it.

Kinich chuckled softly, and I felt my own cheeks flush. "Thanks, Kachina," I said, trying to ease her embarrassment. 

She smiled, looking a bit more relaxed. "Well, if you need anything, I'm here to help."

"Thanks," I said, appreciating her kindness. "I think I'll be okay now."

Kinich gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "Just rest for a bit. I'll be right here."

I nodded, feeling a little lightheaded. Not from the heat though. As I leaned back, feeling the coolness of the rag on my forehead, my mind wandered to Mualani’s words. Maybe she was right.

◣──•~❉᯽❉~•──◢

A couple of days later, I found myself in Xilonen’s shop, surrounded by shelves filled with various trinkets and artifacts. The air was filled with the scent of herbs and old parchment, a comforting reminder of the past. Xilonen and I were busy organizing her shop, a task that felt both familiar and soothing.

“Thanks for helping out, Y/n,” Xilonen said, her voice warm. “I’ve been meaning to get this place in order for ages.”

“No problem,” I replied, placing a stack of scrolls on a nearby shelf. “It’s nice to catch up. We haven’t had much time together since the war ended.”

She nodded a hint of sadness in her eyes. “Yeah, things have been so hectic. But it’s good to see you. How have you been holding up?”

I shrugged, trying to keep my tone light. “I’ve been okay. Just trying to figure things out, you know?”

Xilonen smiled knowingly. “I get it. It’s been a strange time for all of us. But I’m glad you’re here. It feels like old times.”

We continued to work in comfortable silence for a while, the rhythm of our movements almost meditative. As we sorted through a box of ancient artifacts, Xilonen suddenly looked up, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. “So, I heard a little rumor that you and Kinich are dating now. Is it true?” Probably from Mualani...

I felt my face heat up slightly but nodded. “Yeah, it’s true.”

Xilonen grinned. “I knew it! How’s that going? I mean, considering how Kinich… is.”

I chuckled, understanding what she meant. “It’s going fine, actually. He’s been really sweet and supportive. It’s still new, but we’re figuring it out.”

She nodded, her expression softening. “That’s good to hear. Kinich can be ahh.. how do I put this? Blunt? but he has a good heart.”

“Yeah, he does,” I agreed, feeling a warm glow at the thought of him. “He’s been really great.”

we continued to clean, the door to the shop opened, and Kinich walked in. His eyes immediately found mine, and he smiled warmly Again, just the hint of his lips turning at the corners. “Hey, Y/n,” he greeted, then turned to Xilonen. “Xilonen.”

“Hey, Kinich,” I replied, feeling a flutter of happiness at seeing him.

Xilonen gave him a playful look. “Didn’t expect to see Y/n here, huh?”

Kinich chuckled, scratching the back of his head. “Yeah, I was a bit surprised. What’s going on?”

Xilonen rolled her eyes dramatically. “Oh, so I can’t see my friend for a day? I asked Y/n to help me clean up since it’s been a while.”

Kinich nodded, looking a bit awkward. “Right, of course. Well, it’s good you both are here. I actually came by to let you know that someone from The Children of the Echos commissioned me for a project, so I don’t have much time to chat.”

“That’s great, What kind of project?” genuinely wanting to know

He shrugged, a small smile on his face. “It’s a bit of a mystery for now, but I’ll fill you in later.”

Xilonen smirked. “Always keeping secrets, huh?”

Kinich laughed. “Something like that. Anyway, I just wanted to say hi. I’ll catch up with you both later.”

It was the perfect time to test Mualani's theory further. I spotted an item on a high shelf that I couldn't reach and decided to ask Kinich for help.

"Kinich, could you please help me get that down?" I called out, pointing to a random scroll.

He stopped talking to Xilonen almost instantly and came up behind me. "Sure, what do you need?" he asked, his voice so, so close to my ear.

I pointed at the scroll again. "That one, right up there."

Without hesitation, Kinich reached over my head and grabbed it, his arm brushing against mine. He handed it to me with a smile. "Here you go."

"Thanks," I said, feeling a bit flustered by how quickly he had responded.

"No problem," he replied. "I have to go now, but I'll see you later." He turned to Xilonen and me, giving us both a quick nod. "Goodbye, Xilonen. Bye, Y/n."

"Bye, Kinich," we both said in unison as he left the shop.

As the door closed behind him, Xilonen turned to me with a curious look. "What was that? I've never seen Kinich act like that before."

I shrugged, trying to play it cool. "I don't know. Maybe he's just being extra helpful today."

Xilonen raised an eyebrow. "Extra helpful, huh? Well, whatever it is, it's definitely interesting."

I smiled,  Maybe Mualani was onto something after all.

“I should get going too,” I said, giving Xilonen a hug. “Thanks for today. It was really nice to catch up.”

"Oh yeah totally! I can handle the rest here. Also, come by anytime,” she replied, hugging me back. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“I won’t,” I promised, smiling as I headed out the door.

◣──•~❉᯽❉~•──◢

I found myself back at Mualani’s place, surfboard in hand and ready for another lesson. Mualani was determined to teach me how to surf, and I was equally determined to make her proud, even if it meant a few more wipeouts.

“Hey, ‘Lani!” I greeted her, adjusting my swimsuit as I approached. “Ready for another round?”

Mualani grinned, her eyes always sparkling with excitement. “Always! But first, tell me have you been messing with Kinich? He’s been super quiet. More than usual.”

I laughed, setting my surfboard down. “Really? That’s funny. I’ve been testing your theory. It’s been interesting, to say the least. I really don’t think he’s reacting. He’s doing things any normal boyfriend would do.”

She nodded enthusiastically. “You absolutely need to keep it up. Yesterday he looked like he was going to explode.”

I snorted a laugh Mualani clapped her hands together. “Alright, enough talk. Let’s hit the waves!”We headed down to the beach, the sound of the ocean filling the air.

As we paddled out, Mualani and I chatted about everything and nothing, enjoying the easy flow of conversation. Suddenly, someone from the tribe called out to Mualani, needing her assistance with something urgent.

Mualani sighed, giving me an apologetic look. “Duty calls. Just focus on balancing on the board for now, okay? I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Got it!” I called, watching as she paddled back to the shore.

Left to my own devices, I paddled out to the shallow part of the water. I stood up on the board, feeling the gentle sway of the ocean beneath me. Balancing was tricky, but I was determined to get the hang of it. I took a deep breath, focusing on keeping my stance steady.

The sun was warm on my skin, and the sound of the waves was soothing.

My balance wavered, and I tumbled into the water with a splash. As I surfaced, sputtering and wiping the saltwater from my eyes, I heard a familiar voice.

"Having trouble there?" Kinich asked, a teasing smile on his face.

I felt my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. "Maybe just a little," I admitted, trying to laugh it off.

He chuckled, wading over to me. "Here, let me help you." He reached out, steadying me as I stood up in the water. His hands were firm but gentle, and I felt a bit more stable with his support.

"Thanks," I mumbled reeling from the taste of saltwater, feeling self-consciousness.

"No problem," he replied, still holding my surfboard, "Everyone falls sometimes. It's part of the learning process."

I nodded, appreciating his encouragement. "Yeah, I guess so."

He handed me the board, his eyes warm with amusement. "Just keep at it. You'll get the hang of it."

The sun glinted off the water as I turned towards Kinich, curiosity, and anxiety bubbling with the ripples of the water.

“Kinich,” I called out, voice catching the wind.

“Would you help me with this, please? I mean, with keeping my balance on the board?”

His gaze softened, and without a word, he nodded. With practiced ease, he dropped the surfboard into the water, and it settled with a small splash. Approaching me, he placed his hands gently around my waist, lifting me as if I weighed nothing.

My heart beat wildly, like drums against my chest—not just from the thrill, but from the intimate touch. Kinich’s hands lingered longer than necessary as he steadied me on the board, fingers warm against her skin through the thin fabric of my swimsuit. His grip was firm, yet tender, as though he was acutely aware of his strength and its effect.

“This good?” he asked, voice low, almost a whisper. It sent shivers down my spine, as I nodded, unable to find my voice. So instead I nodded, slowly.

Once Kinich was convinced Ihad found my balance, he slowly let go. For a few moments, I managed to stay upright, it was my triumph. But the waves had other plans. The board wobbled violently beneath my feet, and with a startled yelp, I lost my footing. In the blink of an eye, I grabbed onto Kinich, pulling him down with me. We both plunged into the cool embrace of the ocean. Breaking the surface, I wiped the water from my eyes, only to be met with the sight of a thoroughly drenched and disheveled Kinich. My initial shock dissolved into a fit of giggles. 

“I am so sorry!” I gasped between laughs, noticing the way his usually calm demeanor was replaced with a mixture of surprise a cute scowl. “You look... upset.”

Kinich’s expression softened, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile. “Upset with you? Never.”

His eyes held mine, a glint of mischief playing in their sunsets. “Actually,” he continued, his voice low and sincere, “since you’ve been asking so politely, I thought I might as well ask the same... Can I please kiss you?”

Time seemed to pause as his words settled over. The world faded around us, leaving just the two of us in that perfect, sunlit moment. I barely managed a nod.

Kinich's lips met mine with a tenderness that took my breath away. The kiss was soft, almost hesitant as if he was savoring the moment, afraid it might slip away too soon. His hands, still resting on my hips, tightened slightly, pulling closer but never forcefully. 

I felt the warmth of his touch through the cool water, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on my revealed skin. The world around us seemed to fade, leaving only the sensation of his lips on mine and the steady rhythm of our breaths mingling. 

As the kiss deepened, Kinich's hand moved to cradle my face, his thumb brushing lightly against my cheekbone. It was a gesture of pure affection, a silent promise of his care and respect. I responded in kind, my own hands finding their way to his shoulders, feeling the strength and warmth beneath my fingertips.

When we finally pulled apart, he rested his forehead against mine, heavy breaths mingling in the space between us. Kinich's eyes searched mine, a soft smile playing on his lips. Before he frowned.

"Now please stop saying please," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the gentle lapping of the waves. "I can't take it anymore."

[goldfades]

𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 ─ PB⁵

౨ৎ ─ summary | paigey being your girlfriend - a list of relationship "headcanons"

─ warnings | in a bullet-point formatting, i hope you guys like it! fluff (lmk if yall want nsfw ones bc i can provide), paige being DOWN BAD, social media tingz, maybe alluding to being outed but not really, some angst but you can skip over it, paigey being protective (duh), nothing else?

─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!

─ ev's notes | THIS IS SUCH LONG MESS BECAUSE I'M HAVING PAIGE BRAINROT RN, but i hope y'all enjoy nonetheless LOL being in my paige era i've read so many of these and i'm sure you guys have as well, so i'm making this as unique (or descriptive) as i possibly can to make it because it's more fun to read (and write cus im a sucker for details)

PRE-RELATIONSHIP STUFF

when you guys first started dating, i feel like paige would be kind of secretive about it

maybe secretive isn't the right word but very... private but not secret type of vibe (at least irl)

not because she doesn't want to show you off, because believe me, she wants to (she's a bragger what can i say)

but just because she wants to keep you all to herself for a while

she knows that as soon as people find out about it, everyone will be talking about it and making assumptions and she just wants to keep you to herself

at least for a couple months

she doesn't care about the public's opinions but she wants to make sure that y'all are LOCKED IN before she makes it public on social media

but it's clear to paige that y'all are very much locked in after the first couple weeks

she's not new to relationships and she's had her fair share but she can tell that it's different now

so the whole "not sure if i wanna hard/soft launch her cus what if we're not a long term" sentiment turns into "i wanna keep this special thing to myself ONLY for at least a couple months"

and of course the entire team knows paige is down bad for you, they've never ever seen her this WHIPPED

because paige seems like she'd be nonchalant and SHE IS... for people she doesn't give a fuck about

so when she likes someone, she LIKES someone

she is extra what can i say

they tease her about it and in any other situation, she would be annoyed but she loooooooves it because it's like "yeah i'm in the best most awesome relationship with the cutest sweetest and kindest girl in the PLANET"

you and paige would've definitely known of each other since freshman year but like... she's kinda intimidating so you sorta tried to steer clear of her

you were really close with some of the girls on the team, specifically azzi so you saw paige kind of a lot

but sophomore year, azzi kind of pushed you guys to be close and since she knows you guys so well, IT WORKED!

you guys clicked so quick and that doesn't happen a lot with paige, it takes a lot to earn her friendship

but you practically ripped down all her walls within like an hour of talking to her

definitely the first one to catch feelings

at least... to her ;)

very much friends to lovers trope with lots of sexual tension cus who doesn't love that?

i feel like after 3 months of being really close friends, you guys would spend like a shit ton of time together

you guys were ALWAYS together

she even tried to convince you to come to practice with her but you said no cus... what the heck

everyone knows... EVERYONE knows that paige likes you

and it kind of becomes like cemented (for paige at least) after she realized you were her literal COMFORT PERSON

like after every terrible, long practice or after losing games all she wants to do is be AROUND YOU so she could forget about everything

especially when she gets injured, she's such a wreck and the only person who made her feel better was you

it wasn't even what you said or what you did, it was simply just you

and after going through such a bad time with you, she realized that she liked you and she can't keep pretending

and she asked you (yaya!) and you said yes cus you liked her back (yaya!) and everything is just YAYA

so it's safe to say she knows she's found her soulmate within a month of knowing you

but she doesn't wanna seem like she's love-bombing you or whatever so she pretended to be nonchalant

which of course FAILS because she's down bad

so she tells you she loves you within like a month of dating

i KNOW it seems bad but you guys both felt it because of the whole injury and spending every moment together

when you know, you know vibes

she told you she loved you after you were there for her through some of the worst times of her life and you said it back of course and it's all cutesy

paige's love language is TOTALLY quality time and touch

even before you were dating, she just liked having her hands on you whether it was like holding your hand while walking through a crowd, or braiding your hair, or putting her head on top of yours or something as simple as just HUGGING you

but she kept it cordial of course cus y'all weren't dating

yeah that was all thrown out the window as soon you became her girlfriend

hands on you at ALL times, it becomes so subconscious neither of you even know you're doing it anymore

so remember that whole secret relationship thing?

well... everyone kind of figures it out online after like 3 months of dating

it was because of paige, poor girl couldn't keep her hands and lips off of you after a particularly hard game and somehow 🤨🤨someone gets a picture and it was all over twitter and tiktok the next day

literally "paige bueckers girlfriend" trending after an hour of getting posted

but neither of you cared too much about it because A. it was totally worth it cus the kiss was 😫😫😫 and B. she finally doesn't have to turn off her girlfriend mode when she's with you at games

cus she has the prettiest and best gf in the world and she wants everyone to know that

the only reason she was slightly annoyed was because she couldn't hard launch you on instagram :( poor girl had potential captions in her notes :( cus she's our little drama queen:(

but that doesn't stop her cus she ends up doing it! (shameless plug right there hehehe)

now that she can freely touch you and just be herself finally, she literally doesn't GAFFF

of course nothing like over the top because sure she loves PDA to a certain extent and she's an athlete so she needs to keep it civil

RELATIONSHIP STUFF

we've already covered how paige is a physical touch and quality time girly

and paige loves spending literally all her free time with you because you just recharge her

but it isn't in like an overwhelming way

paige understand that sometimes you need quiet time (or vice versa) but the thing is she doesn't even need you to talk just being around you is enough

so idk if it's necessarily QUALITY time but just being around you and spending every free second she has with you tells you that she is in love with you

paige is the most protective person IN THE WORLD, not just with you like in general

it doesn't even have to be someone she knows, if she sees someone giving someone else a hard time SHE WILL STEP IN!

and with her friends, y'all have seen her... she does not back down and will literally murder anyone who comes for the people she cares about

so if that's with people she doesn't know, and her friends, you guys can imagine how crazy she gets over you

if somebody says something even slightly consendecing or mean, slap. someone looks at you the wrong way? slap. somebody breaths wrong around you, slap.

obviously she won't lay a hand on them first but likeeee would she back down, nope

she is actually your guardian angel

like at parties, her hand is always on you and she never ever leaves your side

you need to get a drink, she's coming to

if you need to pee? she'll wait in the bathroom for you

yeah don't expect her to leave your side

because even when she IS by your side, there is always a weirdo in your guys' ear trying to get with one (or both!) of you

but yeah she's not afraid to defend you when it comes to literally anything

and this doesn't only apply to strangers, if there is someone that you know (your friend, her friend, etc) she WILL stand by you and defend you

like she doesn't shy away from confrontation, she will say something but only if you want her to

and GOD HELP THEM if you shed a single tear, cus the next morning you bet she's saying something

like i said, paige is a confrontational person and that means she's the biggest communicator

if she has a problem, she will tell you so that you guys can fix it

but sometimes she can come off a little argumentative and like she's just attacking you

she uses a lot of "you" statements so it seems like she's pushing the blame all on to you

so that can be the root of a lot of your guys' arguments when paige is only trying to solve the issues

but of course paige doesn't back down so she will be arguing with you even if she doesn't even know why, she just hates being wrong

but she doesn't let you leave or go to sleep unless the problem is fixed (or at least on the road to being fixed)

she'll give you space, she'll go another room to take a breather but she will not let you leave until it is fixed

usually after the breather you guys can come to an agreement and then paige usually hugs all the anger outta you

cus who could resist her?

if the argument lasts a couple days (it usually doesn't unless it's something serious) paige will talk it out with her mom or her friends

and you'll usually do the same

and paige will force you to sit down and talk about it until it is FIXED because she hates not being able to talk to you

and when you guys do eventually talk about it, especially if it's a serious topic, it will end with tears with both parties

but you guys always make up and everything will be better

okay okay no more angst ... for now hehehe

i feel like paige's nervous tic would be braiding the ends of her hair so i feel like that would transfer to YOU somehow

she just likes braiding your hair!!!!!! or just running her hands through your hair, it would help her relax

and if you're like me, it will help you relax as well

if you're black/have braids, she would only touch your hair if you let her!

paigey takes pictures OF EVERYTHING so obviously that includes you

her camera roll consists of ONLY you atp, like... 20% pics of literally anything else, and the rest would just be pictures of you or something to do with you

and oh my gosh don't get me started on the damn .5's of you, some of them are HORRENDOUSSSS and paige uses them as reaction pictures sometimes

and you found out from azzi that she does indeed use them in the girls groupchat

but she argues that you just look adorable which you respectfully disagree

oh and don't get me started on her tiktok drafts, she has at least 1,000 (rip her storage)

and when y'all started dating she just makes cute relationship tiktoks but she never posts them

EXPECT the "you're spinning me around, my feet are off the ground one" cus she wants to prove to the world that she has muscles

and the tiktok girlies will cry but WHO CARES!

oh and if you're on the basketball team, they will started to fan-girl over you as well

HELLA TIKTOK EDITS

and paige will favorite, repost and comment on them

like the most down-bad, insane comments you can think of

"GET THE STRAP GET THE STRAP!" is one of many ✨✨

if you aren't on the team, trust the tiktok girlies will find a way and they will make edits of you

and paige will do the same

obviously you do the same for her, your favorites are just paige edits atp (mine too)

ESPECIALLY THE GET IT SEXY ONE OMLL

and everyone will make ship edits and cutesy things like

"omg the way paige looks at her" and like a slideshow of paige being like all 😍😍😍

after paige gets more comfortable with like the media knowing about you two, she posts you every five seconds

usually like stories and stuff and especially if you’re also a basketball player, she reposts ALL your stuff

she is a proud gf !!!

she also has a highlight FOR SURE, she loves

also she def has like 10 diff wallpapers of you and her, some are really cute and some are really… 🫣

also paige strikes me as the type to like be texting you ALL DAY

and girl doesn’t care if you reply, she will send you 8 consecutive messages of different things

“omg look at the group chat 😂 *insert screeshot*” “baby they ran out of fucking caramel at dunkin, how does that happen ?” “i ended up going to a local cafe why did this shit cost me 9$” “baby you’re coming to my game on saturday right?” “HAHA look at this meme 😂” “why haven’t you responded to my tiktok’s in 2 days?”

yes she 100% uses the laughing with tears emoji argue with the WALL

or skull emoji

she also sends you 20 minute snapchat vlogs and they’re so chaotic, especially when she’s at practice or something

kk will steal her phone and say hi then you’ll hear them play fighting for like 80% of the vlog

also she does grwm’s on snapchat too when she’s at away games and her morning voice is SOOOO SEXY CUTE

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[benedictscanvas]

pretty boy, pretty girl - jamie tartt x reader

pairing: jamie tartt x fem!reader

word count: 2.1k

a/n: okay yes. it has been six months. which is actually mad to me, but there we are - whoops! i've been off following my dream and wrote this while procrastinating an assignment, so this is by no means a return!! honestly i was just itching to write it, but i don't know how much time i have for more - enjoy nevertheless <3

warnings: just a little bit of suggestion towards the end, reader is referred to as 'pretty girl' as the title implies amongst other pet names, quite a lot of swearing (some things don't change)

---

“Hi love.”

Jamie barely murmurs it as he walks past you, can’t help himself but to drag a palm along your back, one shoulder blade to the other, as he goes. 

He knows he’s bold sometimes, but he swears it’s instinct. He glances back to see whether your expression holds any discomfort, but all he finds is your grin, a tiny wave. He continues on his path towards the canteen, knowing that your corridor conversation with Rebecca is probably important.

Somewhere between here and there, he decides to get your lunch, your usual, and sits alone on a table until you appear.

You do, three and a half minutes later. As soon as he sees you, the irrepressible urge to make you grin again is back with a vengeance. He waves you over to his table with a gesture to the food he’s got for you and- there it is again.

If he was a slightly smarter man, maybe he��d consider why all it took was the sight of him to draw your lips upwards, set your eyes alight.

“Thought I’d save y’ from the queue,” he speaks, still soft, in a tone he feels he only uses with you. You match his unnecessary low volume.

“Thanks, angel,” you say easily, and you must not see his stomach doing flips, “Too good to me, you are.”

“Shut up,” he deflects, wonders if you can see him fluster at your nickname for him, “Are you still coming tonight?”

You groan. He frowns, and you quickly correct.

“Sorry. It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah, you sound proper convinced, an’ all.”

You chuckle, taking a bite out of your sandwich and taking a pause to chew. Jamie eats too, content to let you think before you speak. It was slowly teaching him to do the same.

“I’m just boring, Jamie. My favourite people are all under this roof, but usually they’re sober, you know?”

He often forgets you don’t really drink. Your friendship (however sour that word feels in relation to you) usually confined to these halls, to the pitch, to various football stadiums up and down the country. When they all get a chance to let loose, you’re very quick with the excuses, but he’s believed them blindly until this moment.

“Shit, y’ don’t drink, right? I can’t imagine that’s much fun in a club. I won’t tell anyone if you happen to come down with an illness or somethin’ this afternoon.”

You’re grinning at him again, all bright and sunny. It’s downright infectious, so Jamie nudges your foot with his on purpose and then apologises like it’s an accident.

“You’re alright,” you reassure, “I will join tonight. Even if it just proves to myself I’m not missing out on anything. Maybe Colin’s not as bad a drunk as I’ve been led to believe.”

Jamie winces.

“No, he is pretty bad,” he admits and then finally comes up with something to make you more comfortable, “Hey, what about this? I won’t drink either and we can spend the evening laughin’ at everyone else.”

You poke his hand and he tries not to drop his crisp packet.

“It’s everyone’s ‘relax and recharge’ night, Ted said. We both know you relax much easier with a few drinks in you. And I’d never judge anyone for that, I really hope it doesn’t come across like I’m judging any-“

“It doesn’t, sweetness,” he cuts in, “But actually, I’ll relax better if I’m one hundred percent positive that you’re relaxing too. What better way than judgin’ everyone else, together like?”

You purse your lips thoughtfully, mid-chew. He feels like he’s holding his breath, like he’s underwater and you’re in charge of the oxygen tank.

“Well, see how you feel when we’re there. It sounds lovely but only if you’re still up for it when we’re right next to a bar,” you say, still unconvinced. He wants to convince you fully, but he can’t decide if he should argue with you or kiss you silly before you speak again, “Hey, if not, I’ll buy you a drink?”

“Pretty sure that’s my line, love.”

“I said it, I meant it. Girls can buy drinks for pretty boys, you know.”

He thinks you might have removed his oxygen tank now. There’s some cruelty in that sentence but you don’t know you’re wielding it. He wills himself to flirt back even though it’ll only make him feel sick.

“Okay, pretty girl. One passionfruit J2O, please.”

Another grin. He’s so fucking fucked.

---

He’s been waiting for you for around forty minutes. He doesn’t know if that’s the normal amount of time you take to get ready, even if he wishes he knew, so he just waits, leaning against his car.

After fifty, he decides there’s no harm in just checking you’re alright and haven’t slipped on a sparkly floor that an evening cleaner has done a number on.

You mentioned going to the kit room to get changed, and he meets Will on his way there.

“Hey mate, you seen Y/N?”

Will looks paler than he’s ever been. Guilty. Jamie narrows his eyes and waits.

“Kit room.”

It’s all that Will says. When Jamie doesn’t walk off immediately, still waiting for an explanation for Will’s strange demeanour, Will turns around and legs it all the way down the corridor, turns left at the end and never returns.

Jamie shakes his head and continues in the direction of the kit room. The closer he gets, the more he hears. Muffled banging, shouting. He picks up the pace.

“Y/N? Love?”

“Jamie! Jamie, in here!”

Your voice floats out from the kit room and he hurries over. Still very confused, Jamie turns the door handle and finds the door won’t budge, however hard he shoves his shoulder against it.

“It’s locked, babe. Did you lock it?”

He hears your exasperated sigh and feels a little embarrassed.

“No I didn’t bleeding lock it! Well, I did, when I was getting changed, but then when I unlocked it my side it had been locked from the outside.”

Jamie struggled to put the dots together. Had Will locked you in? Judging by the running, he had… and he’d done it on purpose. A spark of anger shot down Jamie’s spine but he tried to convince himself there must be a reason.

Before he could, there was a hand on his on the door, pulling him away. It was being unlocked by another hand and then he was being shoved inside, hard enough to stumble against one of the benches. A piece of paper was thrown at his face and Jamie groaned as he heard the lock click back in place.

“What the fuck?” he muttered as he stood up fully, more dazed than angry now as he stared at the locked door.

“Jesus, Jamie, are you alright? Who the fuck was that?”

“I dunno,” he says, staring at the door as if it might have answers. Your hand on his face wakes him up, his eyes shifting to yours where you look him over with concern.

“You’re alright, though?”

You ask it like you need the answer, and Jamie needs you to stop trailing a finger along his hairline either way.

“Fine, love,” he assures you, patting the juncture between your shoulder and neck gently until your hands drop to your sides. Then he raises his voice, and he’s not really talking to you anymore, “Whoever’s locked us in here as some kind of joke won’t be fuckin’ alright though!”

No answer. He picks up the small piece of paper from the floor and reads it in his head.

Tell her, you prick.

He’s actually going to hit Roy with his car. Lightly, definitely not enough to damage him, but enough to really, really piss him off.

This was all some ridiculous attempt to make him tell you how he felt about you? Absolutely not. Never. He wouldn’t be coerced into something so delicate, so important.

“What’s it say?”

You’re peering over the top of the paper, but he folds it in two before you can read anything. His chuckle comes out strained.

“It says: Get fucking pranked. Must be Roy, he’s probably scared Will into helpin’ him, the fucker. I’m afraid it’s payback for putting all his socks on the ceiling last week, babe, an’ you’ve been caught in the middle.”

You pause, staring at your shoes. For some reason, you look far more forlorn than the situation calls for, but it’s gone before he can think about it further.

“On the ceiling?”

He nods and you giggle. It’s only as you step away from him in your laughter that he realises how close you had been. He should’ve savoured it.

It’s also only as you step away that Jamie finally gets a glimpse of your outfit and nearly reaches out to the nearby bench for strength. He’s never seen you in a v-neck anything before, let alone a dress, and he thinks it might do him in.

“You look good,” he says lamely, then tries again, “Great. Fan-fuckin’-tastic, I mean.”

“I like that last one,” you smile, ducking your head. He thinks, or rather hopes, you’re a little flustered, “Fan-fuckin’-tastic happens to be what I was going for.”

“Yeah,” he breathes, words gone as soon as he’d found them. And now he was staring. Shit.

“I like your suit,” you say, maybe breathless yourself. It must be his ears. You reach up as if you might fiddle with his lapel but just point towards it before your hand drops again. You practically fall down onto the bench you’re both stood beside and he follows, ever obedient, “Shame no one else will ever see it. How long do you think we’ll be stuck here?”

The suit isn’t for anyone except you. That’s what he’d say if he had any stupid bravery. He’s an awful coward, he thinks.

“Until Roy gets bored or Keeley finds out I reckon,” Jamie guesses, “Y’ wanna play I-spy?”

You sigh, but when he peeks at you out of the corner of his eye, you’re grinning your silly, lovely grin again.

“I spy with my little eye…”

---

It is around 11pm, when Jamie has not long fallen asleep against the jacket he had scrunched behind his head, that he feels your hand on his ankle. He can tell, as he wakes without opening his eyes, that you’re not trying to rouse him. The touch is light, feathery. Maybe an accident.

No, not an accident. It wouldn’t have lasted this long, and your thumb is drawing absentminded circles into his ankle bone. You think he’s asleep and you’ve reached out to hold him anyway.

He opens his eyes but doesn’t move. His legs are stretched out on the bench in front of him and you sit upright next his sock-clad feet, one hand on his bare ankle. You’re staring at a piece of paper so intently he wonders what could possibly be so interesting.

“This doesn’t say get fucking pranked, Jamie,” you murmur, and his hand flies to his jacket pocket. It must have fallen out when he slumped into a slumber. He’s sat up in a blink, watching the hand that had been so soothing, fall back at your side suddenly.

“I’m sorry. Shit. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“No, don’t,” you insist, still staring at the piece of paper. Instead of whirling on him for answers, you reach calmly into one of the boot cubbies beside your head and pull out a piece of paper from one of the boots. You chuck it at him without looking.

He unfolds it with careful, if shaky, hands.

Tell him, you silly shit.

It takes him an absurdly long time to understand what the hell this second piece of paper means. Later, when the two of you look back on this moment (and you do so often), you’ll wonder how he could have been so dense and he’ll spin you a line about how too good to be true it all felt. But in the moment, he has no lines and no words, until your hand lands heavy on his knee this time.

“Jamie,” you say softly, through a grin that is so different from your usual that he could pass out. It’s so beautiful and so strikingly lovesick that he thinks he might actually be sick, “What do you have to tell me?”

“What?”

He feels dumber than he’s ever felt. But your hand is still on his knee and now you’re shuffling closer to him on the bench.

“What do you have to tell me?” you repeat, then you poke his chest playfully as you add, “You prick.”

He still looks confused, so you clearly decide the best way to catch him up is to kiss him.

You pull away after a moment, a moment of pure heaven, because clearly you don't want to kiss him fully until he's all clued in.

"Come on, pretty boy," you say, teasing, "Figure it out. I was going to buy you a passionfruit J2O. It's the sign of all signs."

He should be laughing at your joke, but all he really wants to do is kiss you again. And again.

Maybe again.

"Oh pretty girl," he says, and he feels the rumble of his low tone in his chest. He places a hand on your face, fingers itching at your hairline, "I'll tell you anything ya wanna hear, I swear. Anythin'."

He hears your breath hitch, but he feels it too, where the meat of his palm is covering your neck.

"Anything?" you answer back, "I could have a lot of fun with this."

You scrunch up your brow like you're thinking and he's so stupidly in love with you that he just tells you. Too-soon be damned.

"Smooth talker," you laugh, giddy, and you kiss him again. And it's so good that he doesn't even remember you didn't say it back until hours later.

(at which point, you say it back so many times and in so many ways, Jamie is certain that he's the luckiest man in the world. he might not hit Roy with his car after all)

[xxsabitoxx]

Fushiguro Megumi hates it when you get injured.

Something about it, no matter how big or small the injury is, just gets under his skin and pisses him off. Which comes off has him being mad at you, unfortunately. It’s not his intention, fuck no, he’s just so upset it happened in the first place.

It’s not till you get injured bad that you realize he’s not mad at you, rather, he’s mad at himself. There is a lingering guilt in Megumi’s eyes when you get hurt, as if he failed you.

“You know this isn’t your fault, right?” You had questioned late one night, laying in an infirmary bed with an IV in your arm because Shoko’s technique and the curse’s attack were not working well together. Meaning you were on strict bed rest until you were fully healed. Megumi hated that too, of course.

He didn’t answer, instead he flipped the page of his book with pursed lips. “I’m talking to you, Meg. It’s rude to ignore.” That got to him, closing his book slowly as he dragged his eyes up the bed to look at you. “You know this isn’t your fault, right?”

You repeated your previous statement, knowing he heard you the first time but he wouldn’t answer unless you asked again. “Yeah.” His tone was low, not convincing whatever. “Liar.” You shot back, moving your arm to rub your tired eyes.

Megumi watched the tube move with you, the dark liquid slowly dripping from the bag down the line and into your veins. “I’m not lying.” He nearly spat, anger bubbling in his gut at the sight of the retched medical machinery you were hooked too.

You sighed, “I’m sorry for getting hurt. I know it’s frustrating and all but li-“ but Megumi was cutting you off with a near incredulous look. “What?” Was all he said, leaving you to blink at him as you tried to wrap your head around his confusion.

“Y-you’re mad cause I’m careless, right? Because I keep weighing you down by getting myself injured?” You stated this as if it were factual, watching Megumi’s face morph into one of genuine bewilderment and mild offense.

“No?! What the fuck makes you think that?!”

"Because... you don't talk to me for like three days after the fact?" Megumi couldn't exactly fight you on that. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it really did come off that way. "I...shit no that's not..." he tossed his book on your bed, hands coming up to rub his face as he tried to collect his thoughts.

"I'm not mad at you. I've never once been mad at you for getting injured. I just..." he sighed, turning to look at you now "...I just get frustrated with myself. I don't like seeing you hurt, it makes me feel like I didn't do enough. Then, I sit here promising myself to do better for you the next time we go out on a mission together, and then we end up right back here. With you in a hospital bed."

Megumi's face had turned a shade of pink. He always felt fidgety having these kinds of conversations. Especially with you, especially about his feelings. "Oh..." you started, mulling over his words carefully before sighing. "You can't beat yourself up over this stuff, Megumi. It's my life and my choice to be a sorcerer. Getting hurt is part of the job." You watched him shift in his chair.

"I know it's part of the job. I just don't like seeing you get hurt. Especially when I'm supposed to be supporting you. We're supposed to look out for each other on these missions and I keep failing you." Megumi's eyes darted anywhere around the room, hands folding neatly as he tried not to seem nervous.

"Megumi." You stated it bluntly, praying he'd look up. He did, of course, he did. For some reason, he couldn't deny you when you said his name like that. "C'mere." you whispered, motioning him to sit on the edge of your bed. He listened, getting up to move the small distance and trying his best to keep you stable as the bed dipped.

"You can't go on with your life quietly beating yourself up for things that are out of your control... and mine for that matter." Your hand carefully reaches up to touch his cheek, smiling at the warmth burning under your fingertips. Megumi looks at you, head-turning reluctantly. "I love you too much to let you feel guilty."

Quiet. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The look on Megumi's face was utterly priceless. Pure disbelief. No way he heard you correctly. His tired mind and sore back must be playing tricks on him. "You... what?" He croaked, brows furrowing in denial. You smile, huffing out a laugh. "I said I love you, Megumi."

He wasn't sure how to act in that moment. Every word he could think of was fizzling out before it could reach his mouth. Instead of killing himself trying to respond verbally, Megumi did the only thing he could think of. A surprised squeak left you as his lips pressed against yours, hands shaking as they gingerly cupped your cheeks.

The kiss itself lasted maybe twenty seconds, leaving you a little breathless from being unprepared as he pulled away. "I... guess that means you love me too?" you teased him, a grin on your face. Softly, Megumi huffed out a laugh before responding.

"Yeah, it means I love you too."

Started this a few days ago and didn’t even realize it was Megumi’s birthday today! So, happy birthday, Meg :)

Hope you enjoyed! - May

[lilacmingi]

MALEFICENT (DISNEY VILLAINS AU)

My works are 14+ ONLY. If you’re under 14 DO NOT interact with me or any of my works. NO SPAM-LIKING PLEASE

Pairing: Maleficent!Seonghwa x Princess!fem reader

Word count: 6,675

Note: Reminder to please not spam-like my works! Reading through a series and liking each part when you’re finished is fine but if you wanna have multiple works of mine saved to read later, like my masterlist instead! :)

In a kingdom tucked between rolling foothills and towering mountains was a beautiful princess who lived in a castle. She was the eldest of the King and Queen and was sought after by many men.

One day while out on a walk, she met a boy with horns and large wings that spread out past his shoulders. Though the boy seemed younger than her, his appearance was still intimidating and daunting.

The princess was terrified. She had never seen a creature such as he and cowered away in fear. He insisted he meant no harm, trying his best to assure her he wasn't a threat. He introduced himself so that maybe it would ease the girl's nerves. It took some patience and a bit of convincing until the princess hesitantly and cautiously began to approach the boy.

They somehow ended up talking and the princess soon found out he wasn't such a bad guy after all, in fact, he was pleasant to be around.

After that day, they continued to meet up, going on walks together, admiring nature, and sharing stories. The winged boy had fallen for the princess along the way, despite her being five years older than him. Seeing as he hadn't met many people, the age difference wasn't a problem in his eyes; she was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

Time passed and eventually he couldn't take it anymore, couldn't hold back his feelings. He needed to set them free.

One sunny spring day, he led the princess out to a field overlooking the glistening streams winding and twisting throughout the valleys below. He poured his heart out, confessing the strong adoration he held for the princess.

Her bright smile faded as he laid out his heart.

"I'm sorry. I've already fallen for another." She told him.

It felt as if his heart was shattered—more like crushed.

He asked why, begged for a further explanation. The princess returned with a simple response.

"I love him."

That made the boy angry. They spent all that time together and she fell for another man?

"Is there something wrong with me?" He asked sharply.

"I'm sorry. I've only ever seen you as a younger brother. Even so, I don't think I could be with someone such as yourself."

"Such as myself? What's that supposed to mean?"

The princess began stumbling over her words, desperately trying to come up with an explanation.

"That's not what I meant." She tried to say.

The boy was already angry, but that comment sent him over the edge.

He lashed out at the princess, enraged that she didn't return his feelings and even more so that she referred to his appearance in a negative way. As he spit his words of poison, the sky turned gray; his powers unknowingly effecting the weather.

He told the princess he never wanted to see her again and disappeared, deep into the woods never to return.

Six years passed. The boy was now a man; 23 to be exact. Heartbroken and emotionally destroyed, he kept himself hidden in the forest, his home now surrounded by thorns to keep everyone away. He would never let his heart get broken again.

He hadn't seen another human in years so he assumed the wall of sharp spikes worked, until one day.

You meandered down the trails that lined the hillside. Life as royalty is suffocating, especially when you're always getting compared to your older sister. It's physically and emotionally exhausting and sometimes you just need to get away from it all.

You took in a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air; the many scents of nature mixing and mingling together in the most magical way. You trekked up the hill, admiring the beautiful flowers and wild plants that dotted it.

You reached a nice, flat area, sitting down in the lush grass and admiring the view. Scanning the horizon, your eyes landed on the tree line that sat on what everyone calls the boundary line. It was strange to you how the weather was different above the large cluster of trees compared to the rest of the sky. The clouds at the boundary line and beyond were dark and looked ominous. Not only that, but an area that overlooks the valleys was even affected by the dreary and bleak weather. No flowers or plants grew in that spot which you found odd.

You looked down at the tree line once again. There was something that tugged at your chest, drawing your towards it. It was an odd sensation that you hadn't felt before. Without realizing, you stood up, descending down the hill towards the edge of the forest.

You didn't think twice when you stepped over the boundary line and into the lush and mysterious grove.

The atmosphere became colder, darker, and even a bit eerie as you moved deeper into the woods—despite that, you refused to turn back, feeling like you needed to keep going.

You came upon a large wall of thorns that blocked the way. Your brows knit together as you tried to get a peek at what was behind it.

"What are you doing here?" Someone asked.

You let out a short gasp, spinning towards the voice.

Standing a few feet away was a man. His raven hair reached below his cheekbones, black tendrils hanging over his extremely handsome features, pointed ears peeking out from his dark locks. Emerging from the top of his head were two rather large horns, even larger wings on his back.

"Oh. I'm terribly sorry." You apologized.

"You need to leave." He spoke sharply. "You don't belong here."

"My apologies. I didn't think anyone lived here."

"Well, I do."

"What's your name?" You inquired.

"You don't need to know my name."

"But I'd like to."

He clenched his jaw, refusing to answer.

You tilted your head as you looked at the massive pair of wings on the man's back.

"I'm gonna call you Birdie."

"There's no need for that."

"So, you're gonna tell me your name?" You raised a brow.

"No."

"Okay then, Birdie."

He let out a long, drawn-out sigh.

"Seonghwa." He finally answered.

"What was that?"

"I'm not gonna say it again."

"Seonghwa." You repeated. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Y/n."

"I know who you are." He snapped.

"You do? But, I've never met you."

"I already asked you once. Leave."

You took a few steps forward, obeying his wishes only to stop when you got near him.

"Why do you live here? It's so dark and it seems a bit lonely."

"I like it that way."

You didn't respond as you walked away, leaving the strange man in the woods.

Seonghwa stood and watched you leave, wanting to make sure you didn't turn around—you didn't.

"Y/n L/n." He muttered under his breath his face scrunching in distaste.

He was glad you left. He couldn't hardly look at you without thinking of her.

Thoughts of the winged man in the woods filled your mind to the brim even after you returned home. You couldn't just forget about him, your good nature wouldn't let you. You knew something was troubling him. It was very clear that he was in anguish. You felt that tugging in your chest whenever you thought of him. That let you know you needed to go back to the man—and that you did.

Unfortunately, you weren't able to get away from the castle for a couple days thanks to your royal duties. However, today was perfect.

"I'm going out for a walk." You announced.

"Don't go past the boundary line, okay?" Your father called.

"Of course. I'll be sure to steer clear." You lied through your teeth, stepping outside.

The bottom of your shoes hit the grass rapidly as you raced across the field to the boundary line and into the forest.

"Seonghwa?" You called out.

No answer.

Assuming he was at home, you headed to the wall of thorns you were at just a few days prior. His house most likely resided just past the large barrier which you couldn't see past.

"Is anyone home?" You shouted.

Nothing.

"Seonghwa?"

Still no answer.

You let out a sigh and stepped away, going to search the woods. You very well could have just left, but something in you felt like this man needed you.

Leaves crunched beneath the bottom of your shoes as you trekked through the forest, determined to find the winged man.

Said man was out and about, flying above the trees. He loved the way the wind felt brushing past his wings and hair. He felt free and like he didn't have anything to worry about. That feeling, however, was diminished immediately when he saw you walking below.

You heard the sound of wings flapping above you. Lifting your gaze, you saw Seonghwa descending from the sky.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, his tone sharp and tinged with annoyance.

"I came to see you."

"You wasted your time. Go away."

"I just want a moment of your time. Please."

Seonghwa's jaw clenched. This was only his second time meeting you in person, but you infuriated him to no end.

Suddenly, vines emerged from the ground, wrapping tightly around your body and constricting your arms. You gasped, your heart jumping in your chest.

"What do you want?" He hissed, bringing his face closer to yours.

"I just feel like you need a friend."

"I don't need anyone." He seethed. "I'm not some charity case, okay? So stop treating me like one."

"That's not it. I just..." You trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"You just what?"

"I can't explain."

"Good." The vines loosened and retracted into the dirt. "I didn't wanna hear it anyway. Now leave and don't come back."

"But—"

"Leave!" His voice boomed.

You cowered slightly, shaken by his sudden outburst.

"Can I just ask you one question?" You asked weakly.

"If it'll make you leave, yes."

"Why are you the way that you are? Did something happen to make you this way?"

Seonghwa's jaw tightened. How could you ask something like that?

"That was two questions." He remarked.

"Someone hurt you in the past." You stated.

His eyes widened just slightly, but he was quick to recover, putting on his usual stony expression.

"I don't know who hurt you, but I'm truly sorry. I'm sure you didn't deserve it."

"I don't want your sympathy." He spat. "You don't know anything about me."

"That may be true, but I know someone hurt you deeply."

Your questions and responses were getting a little too personal for Seonghwa's liking. He wanted you out of his forest immediately.

"Get out of my sight before I burn you to a crisp." He snarled, green flames beginning to emerge from his palm.

You stared at the viridescent blaze before moving away from the winged man. You were afraid you had pushed him too far and you really didn't want to get yourself killed trying to befriend this strange forest-dwelling man, so you decided to give up.

"As you wish." You murmured, turning around and walking away.

The flames dissipated from Seonghwa's palm as he watched you get further and further away, but the more distant you got, the guiltier he felt. Why did he feel guilty?

He rolled his eyes and let out a huff before shooting off towards you. With a few flaps of his wings he was directly in front of you, stopping you in your tracks.

"I have a question for you." He spoke. "How do you know someone hurt me? It could be something else, so why did you say that?"

"Well, normally when someone shuts themselves off from the world and isolates themselves, it's because someone hurt them. When I said that, your eyes twitched. Actually, they widened slightly, but you were so quick to cover it up, it looked like your eyelids twitched."

The expression on Seonghwa's face changed slightly and you could tell he was surprised by your response.

"I'm very perceptive." You explained.

"Evidently so."

"Well, if that's all you needed, I should be going." You took a step forward only for him to stop you.

"Wait."

You turned to face him, watching as he slightly rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh as if he was dreading the words he was about to speak.

"I'm... sorry." He forced out. "I shouldn't have been so harsh with you."

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

"Do you want to come back to my place? I could... make you some tea." The offer was genuine, but he seemed hesitant about it.

"I would love that."

"Very well." He gave a short nod and headed back towards his place.

You followed behind until he came to a stop at the large wall of thorns, waving his hand over the prickly, dead vines. You watched in awe as they separated just enough for the both of you to pass. Behind the thorn barrier sat a quaint little cottage, which you couldn't even see if you were standing outside the wall.

The interior of the cabin was incredibly cozy and had a warm ambiance to it. There were dried flowers in frames on the walls, books lining the shelves, along with little trinkets and tchotchkes littering the shelving.

"Have a seat." Seonghwa gestured to a small table as he proceeded to the kitchen.

You twiddled your thumbs anxiously as Seonghwa prepared tea for the both of you.

You watched from the table as he worked until the hot beverage was finished. He brought over a teapot and two cups, pouring tea into each one. You quietly thanked him and took a small sip.

"Now, why have you come back here?" He inquired bluntly.

So we're getting right down to business. You thought to yourself.

"It's silly." You brushed it off.

"What's silly?"

"The reason why I came back."

"I'd like an answer regardless of how it sounds."

"Very well." You sighed. "I felt a tugging in my chest. I felt like I was being pulled towards you. I don't know why, but I assume I wasn't feeling that way for no reason. Maybe it was my conscience."

Seonghwa's thick brows pulled together in a almost suspicious manner as he eyed you.

To be honest, your answer didn't sound outlandish to him. In fact, you were probably right. Your conscience was telling you to come see him for whatever reason. That he could understand. What he couldn't understand was why it had to be you.

"Right. So, you had this tugging in your chest. Your conscience, inner voice, whatever drawing you here. Now what?"

"I don't know." You shrugged. "I was kind of hoping we could be friends."

Friends? Seonghwa thought.

Why would he want that? Why would you want that?

You took a sip of tea and cleared your throat, feeling a bit awkward due to the silence.

"You have a lovely home." You complimented.

"Thanks."

"So." Your nails tapped lightly against the glass of the teacup. "What sort of creature are you, if you don't mind my asking."

"I'm a dark fairy." He answered.

"Ah. I've heard of them, I've just never seen one before. Your kind must be rare."

"They are."

Well, this conversation is going nowhere. You thought, sighing internally.

Your eyes drifted down to the table, staring at the grain of the wood like it was the most interesting thing in the world. In that moment, it was.

"Sorry." Seonghwa spoke up. "I haven't spoken to another person in a while. I'm not used to having guests."

"It's fine." You brushed it off.

"So, do the king and queen know you're here? I'm sure they wouldn't want the princess hanging out with someone like me."

"How do you know I'm a princess?"

"I told you I know who you are."

"Right." You muttered. "To answer your question, no."

Seonghwa raised a brow. "Really? You're doing this behind their backs?"

"I am."

"Hm." He hummed. "Maybe I underestimated you."

"Maybe you did." You shrugged. "So, are you gonna tell me who hurt you so bad?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's not the time." He answered, simply.

The atmosphere became quiet again and you struggled to come up with something to talk about.

"I like the dried flowers you have framed on the walls."

"Thanks. I did that myself."

"You did?"

He nodded.

"You have some near knickknacks on your shelves as well."

"I collected most of them. They're all from different places. Some were even gifted to me by some of the creatures that used to dwell in these woods."

Your eyes sparkled as Seonghwa talked, he hated it. He hated it because it made him feel things. Feelings he hadn't felt in so long.

That's why it was so hard to just push you away. He couldn't help but want to be nice to you.

"The tea is really good." You mentioned.

"Thanks. It's my own tea."

"You make your own tea?" You asked.

"I do. I collect berries and stuff in the woods, dry them out, and make my own tea bags."

You found that extremely endearing for some reason. Perhaps it was because Seonghwa seemed so intimidating and knowing he made his own tea made him seem a bit softer.

You returned home from yet another "walk." That was the excuse you used when you went to spend time with Seonghwa. You felt that you had made lots of progress with him. He no longer seemed distant when you spoke and he had even smiled a few times. Something else that changed was the feelings you developed for the dark fairy. The two of you had only known each other for about three weeks, but it felt like much longer.

You pushed open the doors to the castle and stepped inside only to be met with your mother and father, who looked rather worried.

"Where have you been?" Your dad asked.

"I told you, I went out for a walk."

"You were gone for so long." Your mom mentioned.

"I guess I lost track of time. Sorry."

"Well." Sighed your father. "It can't be helped. Come here. There's someone I want you to meet."

Your parents led you into the common room where you saw a woman and a younger man sitting on the couch.

You vaguely recognized the two, but you knew they were royals from another kingdom.

"Y/n, this is Queen Son and Prince Dongju."

"Hello." You bowed, politely.

"We invited them over because there are things we needed to discuss." You dad explained.

"What kind of things?" You asked.

"The wedding." Dongju's mom mentioned.

"Wedding?" You questioned.

"Oh." His mom placed a hand over her mouth. "She doesn't know yet, does she?"

"Mom, dad, what's going on?"

"Y/n, Dongju is your fiancé." Your dad said.

"Fiancé?!" You exclaimed.

You hadn't meant to raise your voice, but this was news to you.

"Honey, please calm down." Your mom spoke quietly.

"You've never discussed an arranged marriage with me." You spoke more calmly, trying not to let your temper get ahead of you.

"We know." Your dad nodded.

"Then why? You both told me I could be with whoever I wanted."

"You're getting to the age where you should start settling down. We've been waiting for you to find someone, but you haven't."

"So, I took too long?"

"That's not why." Your mom cut in.

"Maybe I just haven't found the right person."

That was a lie. You had found the right person. You knew your parents wouldn't approve of him, though. Especially considering the fact that he lived behind the forbidden boundary line.

"It doesn't matter now. We've chosen Prince Dongju for you to marry." Your dad spoke. "He's a wonderful young man and you two getting married will be good for both kingdoms."

You sighed, knowing you couldn't do anything about it.

"Now, we would like for the two of you to get to know each other. Him and his mother will be staying with us for the next few days so the two of you can get acquainted. That means no more going on walks."

You felt all the blood drain from your face as your father said those last few words.

No more walks.

That means no seeing Seonghwa until the prince and his family leave.

The first day was torture. All you could think about was Seonghwa. You wondered how he was doing and if he wanted to know where you were. Was he waiting for you?

Millions of questions swirled in your head as you sat with Dongju. You were hardly able to keep a conversation going as your mind filled with more thoughts of Seonghwa.

"Oh. I have a twin brother."

You blinked a few times, zoning back into the conversation.

"Hm?"

"I have a twin brother."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He's my fraternal twin. His name is Dongmyeong. He's back home with my father. Someone had to stay behind and run things while mother and I made this trip here."

"Ah." You nodded. "Is it hard to being away from your brother?"

"Not really. We're close, but sometimes I need a break from him." He chuckled.

Meanwhile, the dark fairy sat at home, his fingers tapping against his table.

"Where is she?" He asked, aloud.

He wondered where you were and why you hadn't showed up yet. He quickly decided that you were probably busy and chose to brush it off. Plus, he was still in denial of his feelings for you and forced himself to think that he didn't care for you as deeply as he really did.

You sat in your room, a heavy feeling in your chest. You missed Seonghwa. You hadn't seen him in three days and you wanted nothing more than to go spend time with him.

A tapping on your window caught your attention. You glanced over at the glass doors to your balcony, gasping when you saw Dongju outside. Jumping from your place on the bed, you scrambled over to the doors, stepping out on the balcony.

"Dongju, what are you doing here? Did you climb up here by yourself?"

"I did." He answered, breathlessly. "I wanted to talk to you."

"And you couldn't use my door to do it?"

"I had to speak to you privately. I didn't want anyone to see me."

"What's so important that you had to climb my balcony to tell me?"

"I don't want this marriage either."

Your eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yeah. You're a sweet girl, but I don't feel that way about you."

"I feel exactly the same. You're really nice and I like you, but not in a romantic way."

"I'm glad we're on the same page." He smiled. "I've been wanting to tell you, but every time we get "alone" time, my mom or your parents are nearby. I just felt that I couldn't tell you this knowing they were around."

"I totally understand." You nodded. "So, what should we do about this?"

Seonghwa had become worried at this point. He hadn't seen you in three days. He went back and forth with himself trying to decide if he was going to see your or not. He really wanted to, but he hasn't left the forest ever, especially not after she broke his heart.

Before he could change his mind, he got up and hurried outside, taking to the sky.

He flew directly to the castle, hoping to see you—and he did. Upon his arrival, he spotted you and some guy outside on a balcony. You were chatting with him, looking more than happy as you did so. Seonghwa's chest began to ache as that all-too-familiar feeling of heartbreak crashed over him, except this time it was worse, so much worse.

"Okay. So we talk to our parents tomorrow and tell them we both don't want this marriage." You stated.

"Right." Dongju nodded.

"My parents are very understanding, so I'm sure we can get this sorted out."

"I hope so."

"Thank you for coming to talk to me." You thanked him, leaning in to give him a hug of appreciation, which he kindly returned.

As if things weren't bad already, you leaned in and hugged the guy. Seonghwa's heart felt as if it was being crushed. He wanted to cry, but more than anything, he wanted to do something bad—something horrible. He could feel the heat of his powers rising to the surface of his palms as small, green embers began to emerge from his hands. Then, your eyes met his.

Your brows raised at the sight of him. You hadn't expected to see him outside of the forest, let alone outside your home.

"Seonghwa!" You called out, parting with Dongju.

The prince turned his head to see who you had called out to, gasping when he saw the dark fairy hovering a few feet away.

Seonghwa grimaced at you before turning around and flying back towards his home.

"Seonghwa!" You called out to him again, but he ignored you, too heartbroken to even look at you.

You stared at the spot Seonghwa previously occupied, worry filling you to the brim.

"Who was that?" Asked Dongju.

You sighed, dropping your head. "Someone I've recently become close with. I've been sneaking off to meet him."

"What?"

"Yeah. He lives that way in the forest." You pointed, not lifting your head. "I'm not allowed to go past the tree line, but I have been for weeks."

The air became silent after your confession. You lifted your head to look at Dongju who had a soft expression on his face.

"You love him, don't you?"

Your eyes widened. "What?"

"I can tell." Dongju nodded.

"You're right." You sighed. "I do love him."

"You should tell him that."

"And how do you suggest I do that? I haven't been allowed off the grounds since you showed up. Besides, I don't even think I can. With both your mom and my parents constantly hovering over us, I won't have a chance to leave."

The next day, Dongju did his best to comfort you. You appreciated his efforts, but nothing could cheer you up. You stared at your plate of food, pushing it around with your fork.

"You need to eat your breakfast, Y/n." Dongju spoke, care and concern lacing his voice.

"I'm not hungry."

"You should eat something. Even if you just have a couple bites of toast."

You decided to listen to him, especially since his mother and your parents were watching from the other side of the table. You took a few bites of toast along with one measly bite of eggs which seemed to satisfy Dongju.

"They're getting along so well." Dongju's mom gushed.

After breakfast, your parents and Dongju's mother went out on the terrace to have tea and discuss wedding plans. For the first time since the arrival of the neighboring royals, you and Dongju were alone.

"Hey. Let's go on a walk." The prince suggested.

"I don't know." You murmured.

"C'mon. Some fresh air would do you some good."

You sighed, knowing he was right. "Okay."

The both of you got up and went outside to the terrace.

"King and Queen L/n, mom. Y/n and I are going on a walk together." Dongju mentioned.

"That sounds wonderful. Make sure you take one of the guards with you." Your mom said.

"Yes. It's better to be safe." Dongju's mom added.

"Of course." Dongju nodded.

The both of you made your way out of the castle, stopping momentarily by the guards.

"Princess Y/n and I will be going on a walk. We won't be needing your services today." He told the two guards.

"As you wish, your highness." They nodded.

With that, you and Dongju took off, embarking on your walk.

You weren't paying attention to anything as you trailed behind Dongju. You just followed him, dragging your feet through the grass.

"Where are we going?" You asked.

"It's a surprise."

You sighed, not in the mood for any surprises.

"We're almost there."

"Almost where?"

"It's a secret."

You shook your head, but allowed him to lead you to this secret location. You kept your eyes cast on the ground, watching your feet as you walked.

"Alright. We're here!" Dongju announced, prompting you go lift your head.

You gasped. You were stood in front of the tree line, the clouds looming above the sticklike branches of the trees.

"Why did you bring me here?" You asked Dongju.

"You have to talk to him."

You opened your mouth to say something, but he spoke up.

"You've got time. I'll be waiting right here."

You gave him a soft smile. "Thank you."

Taking a step forward, you passed the boundary line and made your way into the forest, determined to speak to Seonghwa.

You approached the wall of thorns that separated the dark fairy's home from the rest of the forest, hoping to see Seonghwa. You called his name, but he didn't show, leading you to believe he either wasn't home or he was ignoring you.

"Seonghwa." You croaked.

No answer.

"I don't know if you're in there, but I wanted to say I'm sorry. I know what you saw looked really bad, but I promise you, it's not what you think it is." You got no answer in return, but continued anyway. "You're very dear to me, Seonghwa." Your voice became shaky as you spoke. "You deserve the truth and that's what I want to tell you."

Seonghwa, who was on the other side of the wall listening, couldn't take it anymore. When he heard your voice crack, that was it.

Before you could speak another word, the thorns cleared and Seonghwa emerged from the opening, rushing over to you.

"Don't cry." He murmured, wiping your tears.

"Seonghwa." You sobbed.

"Shh." He shushed you, brushing your hair away from your face. "Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry." You whimpered. "I just thought I'd never see you again."

He let out a sigh. "I need to take you somewhere."

You didn't have time to speak as he scooped you up into his arms, causing a small yelp to escape you.

"Hang on tight."

Seonghwa shot into the sky, his large, inky wings flapping powerfully behind him as he carried the both of you over the trees.

You clung tightly to him as you gazed below you. Everything was so pretty from up there in the sky. It almost made you forget about your worries. Almost.

Seonghwa took you to the spot that overlooked the kingdom—the one that was always shaded by ominous clouds. Now, they had cleared, the spot now illuminated by the glow of the sun. He landed softly in the grass, setting you down.

"Let's sit." He motioned.

The two of you took a seat in the grass, admiring the view.

"Seonghwa, I have something to tell you." You spoke up.

"No." He stopped you. "I need to say this first."

You respectfully allowed him to say his piece.

"I think I've fallen for you." He admitted.

"What?"

The confession took you by surprise.

"I hated you at first. You were so persistent in trying to be friends with me and it was annoying, but eventually I started to enjoy your company. I began worrying if you showed up a little late and found myself thinking of you when you weren't around."

You frowned, your heart sinking.

"I'm sorry." You murmured.

"Let me guess. You can't be with a creature like me. Is that it?" He remarked, bitterly.

"No, not at all. It's not that."

"You don't have to lie, Y/n."

"I'm not. Seonghwa, I've fallen for you too, but..." You trailed off. "I'm arranged to be married. I was taking too long to find someone and so my parents are trying to force me to marry a prince from a nearby kingdom. That's who you saw me with last night."

Seonghwa looked relieved and saddened at the same time.

"Then why did you seem so happy. And why did I see you hug him?"

"He came to tell me that he didn't want to get married. He's just as against this as I am, and it made me happy. I hugged him because I was glad he came to tell me that. We actually planned to speak to our parents today, but he brought me here to talk to you."

"He did?"

"Yes. I haven't been allowed to leave because my parents want me and Prince Dongju to 'get to know each other.' but after what happened last night, he encouraged me to confess to you. In fact, he told our parents we were going on a walk and brought me here. I didn't even know this is where he was taking me."

"So he snuck you out just so you could come and explain everything to me?"

You nodded. "And to tell you that I love you."

Seonghwa leaned forward, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. You saw his eyes dart down to your lips as if to silently ask permission to make a move. You answered by moving your face closer to his, your cheeks becoming warm.

Seonghwa lessened the space between your mouths, your eyes closing in response to the kiss. His lips were soft against yours, moving delicately and carefully. Your hands moved to his hair, grabbing onto the long strands at the base of his neck. It was a brief kiss, but it lingered even after Seonghwa pulled away.

"You remember when you asked me who hurt me so badly?" He questioned.

"Yeah."

"Well, that person was your older sister. I was in love with her—well, I thought I was in love with her. I brought her to this very spot and confessed my feelings. She told me she loved someone else and that she only saw me as a little brother. I reacted pretty badly and shut myself off from everyone." He explained.

Everything then began to make sense. When your sister started dating her now husband, you noticed how parts of the land were constantly covered in dark clouds, but you didn't ever think much of it. After that, your parents started telling you not to cross into the forest and that it was forbidden. It also made sense why your sister wanted to move away so quickly after she married. However, you never knew about any of this.

"Do you still have those feelings for her?" You asked, not wanting Seonghwa to be in love with you because of your older sister.

"No." He answered, lacing his fingers with yours. "I said I thought I loved her. I was just a kid. I realize now that I just liked her company and I confused it for love. The person I truly love is you."

Your heart swelled with warmth and adoration.

"I want you to come back to the castle with me."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yes. Dongju is waiting down there for me. You can return to the castle with us."

"Okay." Seonghwa nodded.

He flew you back to the tree line where Dongju was waiting. He was surprised to see you come back with Seonghwa, but happy that it seemed the two of you had patched things up.

You then explained the plan you had, telling Dongju that Seonghwa would be coming back to the castle with you both.

Once you made it home, you noticed your parents and Dongju's mom were still outside on the terrace. You instructed Seonghwa to stay inside until you motioned for him to step out. He nodded, allowing you and Dongju to go outside.

"Mom." The prince spoke up as you both approached. "Y/n and I have something to tell you—all of you."

You nodded.

"We don't want to get married."

"What?" Dongju's mom asked.

"It's true. Neither of us want this marriage." You spoke up. "Plus, I'm already in love with someone."

"What?" Your dad asked in disbelief.

"You've never told us." Your mom mentioned.

"I wasn't ready to say anything. Now, I am."

You then moved towards the doors leading to the terrace, motioning for Seonghwa to come outside.

The doors opened and he stepped out, all three parents gasping.

"Y/n, why have you brought this man here?" Your father asked.

"Because I love him."

"Do you know who this is?"

"I do."

"Y/n, this is the man that caused your sister so much sadness."

"He did no such thing." You defended. "He was hurt, that's why he lashed out at her. And as for my sister, she moved on and moved away. She has a husband and a life of her own now."

"Your majesty." Seonghwa spoke up. "I apologize for anything I might have done to make you or your daughter upset. I was 17 and just happy to have found someone who wanted to spend time with me. I confused it for love and when your oldest daughter turned me down, it hurt me and I lashed out. I said some harsh things to her and I'm deeply sorry."

Your father scowled as he looked at Seonghwa, then his gaze turned to you, his face softening.

"Dongju, what do you have to say about this?"

"Like I mentioned earlier, I didn't want to marry Y/n in the first place. I much prefer her be with someone she knows and loves." He answered.

"You don't know this man, Y/n." Your mother spoke up.

"I do. You see, I've been going to meet with him."

Your parents gasped, aghast at this revelation.

"I've gotten to know him over time and truth is, we both love each other."

As you spoke those words, you reached out, lacing your fingers with Seonghwa's. Both your parents saw this gesture.

"Look at them, honey." Your mom spoke quietly. "Do you see how their faces glow? They really do love each other."

Your father seemed to go back and forth with himself for a few moments before nodding his head. "You're right."

You felt a little bit of hope spark within you as your dad approached Seonghwa. You were surprised when your father held his hand out to Seonghwa. The dark fairy took hold, giving your dad's hand a firm shake.

"I accept your apology." Your father stated.

"Thank you, your majesty."

"But, I want you to treat my Y/n right."

"I will, sir. Promise."

"Good."

The plans for the wedding were cancelled and Dongju and his mother went back home. Your parents allowed you to spend time with Seonghwa and the ban on crossing the boundary line was lifted.

The dark clouds that constantly hung over the forest cleared and all the creatures that dwelled there came out of hiding. You didn't even know there were any other creatures besides Seonghwa that lived in the woods.

The two of you sat in the lush grass in the same spot where he confessed to you. The sun shone down on the entire kingdom, cloaking it in warmth. You plucked another flower from the grass, placing it in Seonghwa's dark hair with the others. You had given him a makeshift flower crown, placing the blooms around his head.

"How do I look, darling?" He asked.

"Beautiful."

He grinned, pulling you closer to him.

He pressed a soft kiss to your lips, his finger resting under your chin as he moved his head ever so slightly to the side, deepening the kiss.

When you parted ways, you couldn't help but smile, still overjoyed that the two of you were able to be together.

You were so thankful you chose to step past the boundary line that day, because if you hadn't, you and Seonghwa wouldn't have met each other, and you definitely wouldn't have gotten the happy ending you have now.

Hongjoong: Hades ⟡ Yunho: Captain Hook ⟡ Yeosang: Evil Queen ⟡ San: Cruella de Vil ⟡ Mingi: Dr. Facilier ⟡ Wooyoung: Hyena ⟡ Jongho: Gaston

Masterlist ᝰ — enjoyed this imagine? reblogs & comments are very much appreciated!

DO NOT steal, plagiarize, copy, repost, alter, or translate my works in any way

🏷 @h3arteyes4mingi @weird-bookworm @poppy2007 @parkjennykim @evidive @mxlly143 @lizzymizzy-blogg @minhanbyeol @dinossaurz @laylasbunbunny @iammeandmeisiam @delulu18

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Precious Truths: Part 8

Fandom: Bridgerton

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x F!Reader

Summary: After your father finds out you’ve been writing under a male pseudonym, he threatens to marry you off to an atrocious man unless you find yourself a husband within a month’s time.

A/N: I will not be taking tags for this series!

Series Masterlist

You and Benedict spent the previous night talking until it was well late into the night. He escorted you back to your home to ensure nothing bad happened to you. No one had seen, of course, since all of the Ton was asleep.

Before stepping back into your home, you gave Benedict a hug, "You will always be my dearest friend, Ben. Never forget that."

He swallowed down the deep rooted desire to inform you of his affections. He can't. He mustn't. No matter how much he's been wanting to for so long.

_____________________

Because James was a friend of Simon and Daphne's, the Duchess decided to throw a celebratory ball at the Clyvedon Castle for your engagement. You tried to decline, but Daphne, much like her mother, is very persistent and convincing. You, Aunt Eliza, James, Auggie, and Daphne all rode back to Clyvedon together.

You had only gone to the castle once and that was for the ball Daphne held after she and Simon married. It was just as beautiful as you remembered.

Simon was there ready to greet his wife and son with open arms.

Daphne steps out of the carriage with the coachman's help, Auggie asleep in her arms.

Simon smiles as he approaches his wife, kissing her head and looking down at his son, "Back in my arms again."

He looks past Daphne and gives you and your aunt a nod, "I see you have come back with a few more guests than when you left, my love," he gives Daphne a teasing look.

She rolls her eyes at her husband, "I wrote to you informing of our added guests as well as the ball I plan to hold here in honor of James and Y/N's engagement."

Simon sighs, "I've yet to read this morning's letters. I have been busy."

Daphne gives him an understanding nod and the stands to the side as Simon walks over to you, your aunt, and James.

"Congratulations to you both. Excuse me for my surprise to your arrival, Y/N. I have been behind on my letters."

"I understand, Your Grace. And thank you for allowing my aunt and myself to stay here up until the ball."

"You are a friend of Daphne's, Y/N. You are always welcome here." he looks over his shoulder and gestures to the housekeeper, "Mrs. Colson, here, will show you to your rooms. I will let you all rest until dinner. Now if you excuse me, I'd like to spend some time with my family."

"Of course, Your Grace. Thank you again for your hospitality," Aunt Eliza says with a bow and watches with a smile as Simon escorts Daphne and Auggie inside.

James looks at you with soft eyes, "Would you like to take a walk around the grounds after you rest?"

"I'd enjoy that very much," he tips his hat to you and your aunt, "I shall see you later then." He then heads inside the castle to get some rest for himself.

________________________

"Benedict, I know this must be painful for you, but you need to show face! If not for Y/N then at least for Daphne," Violet Bridgerton looks at her second son as if he'd grown a second head.

Benedict had just informed his family that he will not be attending the ball Daphne is holding for you and Lord Montclair.

"I apologize, mother, but I already have prior engagements."

"What prior engagements?"

Benedict looks at his mother and the rest of his siblings. He sits up, "Well, I have an interview with the headmaster of an art academy."

"That's amazing, brother!" Hyacinth exclaims in excitement.

"Which academy?" Anthony asks.

"One in France."

"France?!" Gregory's jaw drops, "How did you get an interview?"

"I wrote a letter to them and a friend put in a good word for me."

Anthony scoffs, "You let a friend help you and it is fine. But when I help you, you get upset."

"This friend didn't use money to help my case, brother," Benedict practically sneers. He's clearly still a bit upset about Anthony practically buying his way into the academy. But this time, Benedict's work, determination, and Henry Granville's word, helped him. Not Anthony's money and status as Viscount.

"Well, I suppose I cannot be upset by that. Well done, Benedict."

He grins at Violet, "Thank you, mother."

___________________

Daphne was meant to be a duchess. Violet truly taught her well, you think, as you watch her list off orders and demands to Mrs. Colson and staff. You let her do her thing, occasionally answering questions in regards to what color theme you wanted, the flower arrangements, the entertainment, etc. Other than that, Daphne took the reigns of it all. You admired the young woman.

"Shall we take a break?" Daphne asks as she guides you to the balcony that overlooks the grounds. Some glasses of lemonade are out waiting for you both.

You both sit and sip from your glasses. You sigh, "You were truly meant for this life, Daphne. You fill the role so well."

"Soon you will be in a position similar to mine," she states with a smile.

You let out a deep breath, looking out to the grounds, "Yes, I suppose I will be. I am not sure I am as well prepared as you are."

"I'm sure your aunt has done the best she could. However, if you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them." She shoots you a grin.

You chuckle, "You might regret that, Your Grace."

"Ah, I was wondering where my fiancée had gone," you hear the marquess say as he steps onto the balcony. Fiancée. It was so odd that you were a fiancée now. Even weirder that your husband to be isn't a certain Bridger-no. You mentally scold yourself for thinking about Benedict. You need to not think of him anymore. You and he are not meant to be. Not now. Not ever.

You look up at him from your seat, "Yes. We were just taking a break from planning the ball. To be honest, Daphne is doing majority of the work. Also, I hope you don't mind, but I chose lavender as the colors."

"Not at all. I think you'd look beautiful in the color," James smiles at you and you can't help but shy from his gaze.

You clear your throat, "Yes, it is one of my favorite colors so if you are not fond of it, then we might have to rethink this marriage." You respond playfully, causing the marquess and duchess to chuckle.

"You are a funny one, mon cher," he looks to Daphne, "Is it alright if I steal her away for some time together?"

"Of course not, my Lord," Daphne says as she stands. She smooths out her dress and pats James' arm, "I should get back to planning anyway." She nods to both of you and enters her home, leaving you two alone.

James occupies the spot Daphne previously resided, "I should let you know that my family will also be attending this ball. I figured now would be the best time rather than at the wedding."

You nod, "Of course. I'd love to meet them. Both your parents and sisters will be in attendance?"

"That is correct. I must warn you, my sisters can be rather mischievous," he smirks at you and you giggle.

"Oh, I have experience with mischievous. Growing up with the Bridgertons has made me quite familiar with mischievous."

"My sisters will love you then. They are twins. Both ten and two. My mother does her best to raise them as young ladies, but," he shrugs with a guiltily, "I like to show them a few tricks here and there."

You laugh, "I can imagine the scoldings your mother gives you for teaching your sisters such 'un-ladylike' behavior."

He shrugs again, "I tend to be a bit more progressive in the notion of what women can and cannot do."

"That's...that's very relieving to here, my Lord."

"And why is that?"

You didn't plan on telling James your secret until well after you two married. However, an opportunity to come clean has presented itself. You've come to learn that James is kind, understanding, loving, compassionate, and open to the idea of women having more freedom.

Previously, you were apprehensive about telling James your secret, that you were writing under a man's name to publish your work. But now, you felt even more relieved and comfortable to know he most likely wouldn't treat you differently because you are pursuing your passion.

You let out a deep breath and reach out to James, placing your hand on his, "I must confess something to you."

"Yes?"

You open your mouth to confess, but you're interrupted as Mrs. Colson steps out, "Pardon me, miss, but her Grace has asked for you."

You nod, "Alright. I shall be with her in a moment."

Mrs. Colson retreats and you groan, "I must admit that I've lost my nerve now."

James places his other hand atop yours, "It's alright. Whenever you are ready to tell me, I shall listen with an open mind and heart."

You lean in and kiss his cheek, "I truly don't deserve you, my Lord."

He grins and stands, holding his hand out to you, "Come. Let's not keep the duchess waiting." you two walk together, hand in hand to meet with Daphne.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 93 (Finally Coming Clean)

When Conrad arrived home on Friday night, Ash was in the city. He took a shower, joining Heather in the kitchen while she cooked dinner and talked about Ray Pierce, the Landgraabs' driver who she'd met that afternoon. "He seems as nice as Ash says. It's just annoying I had to find out about him from my son and not his father."

Conrad didn't say much; he couldn't exactly chastise Malcolm for keeping secrets from her. Lavender was awake and Conrad practiced sitting with her for a while, putting her to bed as the scent of chicken stir-fry wafted up the stairs.

He went to the kitchen, smiling at the setup of food and candles at their dining table. "You didn't have to do all this." He kissed her cheek. "What's the occasion?"

"The occasion is, I love you. I just wanted to take away a little stress from your day."

He frowned, and his hands went limp around her waist. "Heather, I need to tell you something. The case I told you about that's been driving me crazy...I backed out of it yesterday morning."

She looked at him, confused. "Maybe that's for the best. But it's not like you to give up on a case."

"I had to let this one go. It was kind of...it wasn't an official case. I've been looking for someone off the books for close to six months."

"Why? Is it someone you know?"

He nodded, and she followed him to sit across from him at the kitchen table. "There's so much about my past I haven't been able to tell you. I should have said something long before I moved in, but I'd convinced myself it was totally in my past and would never be an issue."

"What is it?"

"Do you remember that woman who was looking in our windows when you were pregnant? I wasn't sure at the time, but I got the cameras as a precaution, regardless. She started texting me after Lavender was born."

"Who is she?"

He took a deep breath. "She's my ex."

"Conrad, what does she want?"

"Me. She only wants me. But she can't have me so she's..."

"Is she dangerous? Is this the college girlfriend who cheated on you and broke your heart?"

"Same one. Her name's Ximena Bonilla and she's a little...erratic. But she might not be as dangerous as the people she associates with."

"Who does she associate with?"

"Selvadoradian cartels. She's a drug dealer."

The shock and confusion on Heather's face turned to anger. "How do you know her?"

"I met her when I was in college. She said she was a student and convinced me for almost a year. She was raising her kid brother, Rafa, by herself and escaped being trafficked by the cartel by running drugs for them instead. When I found out the students were her customers, I should have broken up with her. But I was in love and I wanted to keep her safe. I didn't leave. I got deep enough that I met some of her bosses and knew about some of their operations, but she cheated on me and it broke the spell. I finally left her, but one of their ops went bad and one of the guys they picked up gave my name to San Myshuno PD."

"Conrad, you don't have a criminal record. I looked you up after we started dating."

"You hacked the police database, too?"

"No...I did a public records search after River made a joke about a hacker and a criminal."

"To this day, I don't know how my father did it. My file's locked under clearance even I don't have, same as anyone else on the force with a past, but Landgraab Security's always had contacts at San Myshuno PD. He pulled enough strings to wipe my record clean and transfer me into the academy. I had to give them a couple names in exchange - street dealers, local guys. No one that would really upset the cartel. But the force had to look like they were managing crime in their city, and that's the only reason I became a cop and not a complete screw up."

"Is the cartel after you? Or just your ex? Did you give them her name?"

"I never gave them her name. I couldn't, because I didn't know what would happen to her little brother if I did. She tried to get me back after I left, but I knew it could never work out. When Gord was still a puppy, she cornered us outside my apartment to get my attention when I brought home another girl. I got a restraining order, but when it expired and she stayed away, I thought she was finally gone for good."

"So why is she back?"

"She asked for my help to find her brother."

"Is her brother even missing?"

"He is missing. He's wanted by San Myshuno PD. I wanted to help him before he was arrested and sent to prison."

"But you were looking for him under the table, as a favour to your ex who sounds obsessed with you? No wonder Gord hasn't left us alone since Lavender was born. He always knew what was going on with you, didn't he? And you never thought to mention any of this to me?"

"Heather, I wanted to, I-"

"Were you going to help this guy avoid prison? How? Criminal connections?"

"Nothing like that. I was hoping to be able to talk to him, encourage him to go back to finish high school, find a solid job, and maybe convince a judge to go easier on him. I really thought I'd be able to find him in a few weeks, maybe a couple months, and we could all move on again. But uncovering leads has been impossible, and his sister's not a reliable source. I'd even started a file on Ximena because I thought once I found her brother I could finally get around to what I should have done more than once and turned her in. But I could see what searching for Rafa and keeping it from everyone was doing to me, so I finally told her yesterday I was done."

"You've been in regular contact with your ex and didn't tell me? And not because there's something between you but because she's dangerous? Conrad, that's worse."

He nodded. "I know it is. I know how not saying anything makes it look, but I'm so ashamed of that chapter of my life. My bad decisions killed my father. After he got me into the academy, his heart got weak. Two heart attacks, and he died within months. As long as I live, I'll know the stress I put him under was the cause."

She was quiet, nervously playing with her food. Neither was hungry anymore. "You should have told me this."

"I'm so sorry. The longer I kept it from you, the more I feared telling you too late to deserve understanding. I love you so much, and I never wanted to do anything to lose you."

They were interrupted when Conrad's phone started beeping. This time, it was work, but he read the dispatch and his stomach dropped.

The phone shook in his trembling hand and Heather stood. "Conrad, what is it?"

"There's a dead body at the pier. I've got to go back to work." A bone-chilling shiver ran down his spine. His heartbeat quickened, as though he knew what he'd find when he reached Fisherman's Wharf. "I'm so sorry, Heather. I want to keep talking about this, but I can't."

She nodded. "I understand."

A pit formed in his stomach. "Will you do me a favour? I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but will you leave for your parents' place in Henford tonight? Don't wait until morning. I'll probably be working all night and I'd rather know you're safe outside of town."

She uncrossed her arms in shock. "Do you think your ex is involved with the body at the pier? Is that why you want us to leave? Lavender's sound asleep already, but you want me to wake her and take her an hour on the Simmerloop when you invested in those security cameras?"

"Heather, please," he begged, reaching for her hand across the table. "If she's anywhere near Brindleton Bay right now, I can't focus on work if I'm worried about the two of you."

Heather looked at him with sad eyes as their fingers brushed against the wood-top table. Betrayal was written all over her face, but she nodded toward the uneaten food and pulled her hand away. "I'll pack this up in the fridge and then I'll take her. Do you think you'll make it to Henford at all this weekend?"

"Heather, I don't know. I hope so. But I can pack this up before I go. Thank you for cooking. I'm sorry we couldn't enjoy it."

"Me too," she snipped. "Good luck. Be careful."

Heather couldn't look at him and Conrad wouldn't press her. As much as he wanted to run after her and beg forgiveness, a deadly crime scene called him to the pier. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

NOTE: Heather doing a semi-romantic dinner setup wasn't a flirty gesture, but she has the caregiver personality type. I can't remember if this is from a mod or an EA feature, to tell you the truth. I think it's a mod. Conrad has the jester personality type, which I think suits him, too. Conrad is really responsible and respectful which suit his proper trait (which was learned after younger mistakes), but jesters trend toward mischief/"foolish games" in addition to being jokesters. EDIT: It's WonderfulWhims/WickedWhims that adds this!!

WCIF Poses Used? Dinner Table Talks by @herecirmsims. I don't even mind the clipping because their kitchen table and chairs didn't quite fit the dimensions, because the poses gave me the expressions I wanted. I tried way too long to try to get the teleporters in the middle of the chairs, but I got close enough for me. Just ignore the fact that their chests were in their stir-fry for 90 per cent of that convo! Thank you so much for creating and sharing! 🙏

[7ouls]

im REAAAAALLY sorry for the likje longest wait ever but in the meanwhile i've wiorked on my oc too so i'll prob post abt it soon. sorry if this is short or bad but it took me a long time to get motivation to write this 😓

(this isnt proofread so if u see any mistakes dont mind them i’ll correct them tomorrow cause im too tired)

fem! reader btw

Daisuke never liked to rely too much on other people, he was always told how annoying he can be so that would make him even more of a weight than he already is.

Although he can’t complain when his girlfriend is the one who gets to take care of him. After what happened at the Tulpar you could see big changes in his attitude, he tried to smile at you but you can see that it’s not the same genuine lovely smile he used to give you in the past, when he was still on earth with you.

You were his girlfriend before he got the news from his parents about the internship and no matter how much you tried to convince him to not leave he still did, promising you that he’d come back for you. He wasn’t wrong, but this isn’t what you were expecting.

He had many scars around his body, barely able to move. He was put in a wheelchair for a few months, just until the scars have healed and he could get back in feet.

Daisuke’s parents found him a therapist, ignoring the boy’s wishes not to. Because after all he had you, you were the only one who he opened up with about what happened to all of them, about how guilty he felt for them. You were the one holding him in your arms after he cried on your shoulder for hours, you were the one changing his dirty bandages but most of all you were the one that loved him.

At nights like this you liked to wait until Daisuke was sleeping to leave him on your shared bed and go out your balcony to watch the sky filled with the city’s light, and when days were harder you took the hidden pack of cigarettes and light one up.

As you were watching the sky above your head you felt moving inside the house but didn’t think much of it, as it could be your pet just wandering around.

Your presumption turned out to be wrong as you heard your name be yelled from your bedroom, you quickly get inside to check on the voice and found your boyfriend on the floor. You run to him and slowly get him back on your bed. He pouts seeing your worried face checking for any damage.

“Are you okay? How did you get down there, most importantly why were you th-“ He stops you before you can bombard him with even more questions.

“I’m sorry Y/n, i just needed to drink something and when i saw that you weren’t here i tried to take it myself but i couldn’t...” You could see the disappointment in his eyes, you thought he might be feeling like a weight on your shoulders so you tried your best to comfort him.

“Daisuke look at me. You don’t have to apologise, it’s my fault. I should’ve been there for you but i wasn’t and i’m sorry about that. You shouldn’t force yourself to move too much, the doctors said that your body is still too fragile to sudden movements.” The boy looked at you, the mention of doctors saddened him.

“I’m so tired of these doctors, i sometimes wish you could be the one treating me instead. And the therapist girl always keeps trying to make me spill stuff, is it wrong that i don’t want to talk about it? She keeps asking about you a lot too, she might be thinking that you know more than her.”

“She wouldn’t be wrong, if it makes you feel any better i could try speaking with her.” He tiredly nodded at you and you both get back in bed, drifting off into sleep while holding him.

“Goodnight Y/n, i love you.”

IDK HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS. i weote it in 2 hours so maybe that why its so bad and yea im so tired idek what im saying

[cosmerelists]

How Cosmere Characters Would React to Having Roommates Who Leave Dirty Dishes in the Communal Sink

As requested by @angelofmusings :)

Per angelofmusings' request, Cosmere characters are in a dorm-type situation with a shared kitchen....and SOMEBODY keeps leaving dirty dishes in the sink! How will they respond?

1. Shallan

Let's just say you do NOT want to get into an "ignoring things" competition with college-age Shallan.

Shallan: [humming to herself as she sits at the kitchen table, drawing] Roommate: Uh, Shallan...? Is that....a good place to be drawing? Shallan: [Looks up. Behind her is a tower of dirty dishes higher than a human person, teetering ominously and casting a shadow across the table where she works] Shallan: Hmm? What do you mean?

2. Sarene

Uses weaponized incompetence until her roommates get their act together.

Roommate: Why are all of my bowls chipped? Sarene: I did your dishes for you since you don't have time! <3 Roommate: Y-You did a bad job! Sarene: Did I? Huh! I tried really hard to help since you seem to be way too busy to do any housework! Sarene: Anyway, I'll get back to doing your laundry! [prepares to dump an entire cup of bleach into the washing machine] Roommate: NOOOOO

3. Vin

Vin only has one solution. And that solution is MURDER. D-Dish murder, I mean.

Roommate: Um, why are all of my dishes in a garbage bag? Vin: Well, you left them in the sink for a week so I threw them away. Roommate: You can't throw away my dishes! Vin: It's either that or throw YOU away in a trash bag. Vin: But my boyfriend said murder wasn't the answer. Vin: Yet. Roommate: ... Roommate: I-I'll do the fucking dishes!

4. Elend

Elend convinces all of the roommates to vote on who does which chores.

Elend: ... Elend: ... Elend: I can't believe they voted for me to do ALL of the chores.

5. Renarin

Rather than confront the situation verbally, Renarin opts to leave anonymous notes when nobody is looking.

Roommate (reading): This one says, "The dishes have been in the sink for 2 days." Roommate: This one says, "The dishes have been in the sink for 3 days." Roommate: This one just says, "4 days." Roommate: This one just says "5." Roommate: ... Roommate: Why is this so ominous???

6. Steris

Ha ha! As if Steris didn't set up an extensive roommate contract and force everyone to sign!

Steris: The arbitrator will be here tomorrow at 4. Roommate: Arbitrator...? Why? Steris: To discuss the dishes issue, per Section 9c of the contract we all signed. Roommate: I ONLY LEFT THEM OVERNIGHT. Steris: 4:00pm. Be there!

7. Dalinar

Let's just say that the roommates of college-age Dalinar "Blackthorn" Kholin are not going to risk pissing him off.

Roommate 1: Dude! Don't just leave that in the sink! Roommate 2: My coffee mug? Why? Roommate: 1: Dalinar gets out of class soon! Roommate 2: So? Dalinar doesn't care about dishes. I've never seen him using any other than that one steak knife he carries around. Roommate 1: Yeah, the knife he used to STAB a guy in the LEG after which he KEPT EATING HIS BURGER Roommate 2: Whoa he did that??? Roommate 1: I'm just saying he seems like the type. Wash! Your! Dishes!

8. Marsh

Marsh just does all the dishes himself because he's the RESPONSIBLE one.

Marsh: (grumbling to himself while carefully washing the dishes) Stupid roommates out having fun with girlfriends, getting into trouble, doing stuff. Marsh: While I'm here doing what needs to actually be done... Marsh: ... Marsh: Makes me want to stab myself in the eyes sometimes.

9. Tress

Tress just does all the dishes herself because she is too nice to do otherwise.

Roommate: I can't TAKE it anymore! Tress: ??? Roommate: You're always making us dinner, you always do the dishes, you fixed the air conditioner last week even though that's not even your job! Roommate: Your power of friendship is TOO STRONG and I think I'm going to have to become a better person now! Tress: I'm happy for you! Roommate: YOU WOULD BE

10.Kaladin

At first, Kaladin performatively washes the biggest, heaviest dish he can find while everyone watches, hoping to inspire their better natures. But when that doesn't work...

Roommate: [Woken up suddenly as Kaladin drags them bodily out of bed at 5:00am] Roommate: What! What's going on??? Kaladin: [dragging him toward the kitchen] You are the biggest, meanest roommate I have and I'm going to MAKE you wash your dishes as an example to the others! Roommate: D-Does this make sense in a roommate situation?? Kaladin: I don't know what you mean. Kaladin [glowering at full power] Get. Washing.

[aetherghouls]

ghostsoap coffee shop au where Soap has been down bad for the past 2 years since he started working at the coffee shop and first saw the hot tattoo artist working across the street, but he had never made any moves because 1. he doesn't even know if Ghost is interested in men (or anyone, really) and 2. the guy seems too reserved to enjoy someone throwing themself at him, so instead, he just settled for small talk every time, trying to make Simon warm up to him slowly. They became friends, of course, no one could resist Johnny and his charm, even if the Brit always denied it and stayed rough around the edges. And then a new barista comes into the picture, a gorgeous one. They were all over Ghost the second they saw him.

To say that his blood was boiling every time he saw that would be an understatement, a big one. There was nothing in those moments he hated more and if looks could kill, the new barista would be long dead. Too bad it didn't work. Too bad Soap, instead of just telling Ghost he liked him, watched the way the new one was flirting with Simon so openly and the tattoo artist was playing into it.

Johnny had became so fucking grumpy after a week of that, everyone noticed, especially Ghost, because he was on the recieving end of it. And if there was one thing Johnny could do, it was being passive aggressive while mad.

Don't be fooled though, he wasn't unprofessional, but he definitely cut the small talk, turned down Ghost every time he tried to chat, gods, he even made up tasks to do just do he didn't have to be around Ghost and the new guy if they had a shift together and the artist came around. Everyone noticed.

Gaz tried asking, of course, the good friend he is. He knew Johnny fancied Simon, so the sudden change of hearts was unexpected until he saw the new barista with Ghost. It all made sense suddenly.

That's how Kyle came up with a way to force Johnny to finally talk to Simon.

To be fair, it wasn't hard, convincing his friend. The hardest part was making him admit that he was jealous, then it all went smoothly. Soap was of course, still grumpy and still angry with Ghost for not putting two and two together, but Kyle, gods bless this man's soul for putting up with it all, could be really persuasive.

And that's how, through a needlessly complicated and twisted plan that could have been executed in many more simple ways, Simon finally took a hint as to why his favourite barista was mad at him, and – of course – he did his best to make up for it. Not openly, he wasn't some soppy teenage boy that would turn into a puddle when someone he fancied was angry. It was just simply not him to act that way. So, instead, he left little gifts for Soap, nothing overly elaborate, he'd, for example, buy something to eat with his coffee, things he knew Jonny enjoyed and leave them for the Scot, instead of taking them, always brushing it off as "not having enough time to eat" when he finished his drinks.

It took a good month for John MacTavish to get over it, over thirty days of Simon doing little things for him so the barista would go back to his previous self. Him and Ghost may and may not have gone out after that, too, but that's a story for another day.

I wrote this at work mostly lmao (I don't even work at a coffee shop) (don't eat me it's the first writing I've posted properly in years) (you won't see me here for months after this 🫶)

it's embarrassing to post anything on Tumblr so if this flops I'm deleting my account and burying myself 3 feet under

[theweirdwideweb]

Can we have more film club updates? That was amazing and I’m proud of you!!!!

Well you remember how my friend was also at film club? She and I hung out on Christmas Day. We went to my sister's house for lunch. We played with my niece, nephew, and mother in a tent and then went to Nosferatu. My friend has been closer to the film club asshat than I have and asked if I wanted to see his text to her about The Incident, but warned me it was bad. Since nothing he said to my face about mental illness upset me because duh, not a shred of truth to it--- actually what he said about me in the text upset me. He tried to convince my friend that I was venting narcissistic rage at him the entire 45 minutes before he ran his mouth off and I stormed out. He said I am, in fact, a toxic narcissist who is in active addiction, not recovery, and I'm trying to lure my friend into a codependent relationship. It got to me. Such a reality warping piece of gaslighting. I had therapy today and talked about it. It triggered a lot of trauma. The doctor and I talked about how my mother would mercilessly abuse me as a child and then when I was angry or upset she'd accuse me of bullying and abusing her. We also talked about how the man I was in love with all my 20s would come sleep in my bed 3 nights a week, hold me, give me shoulder massages, fuck me and then act like I should just know better when I wanted to be his girl. For 8 years he led me on that way and then beat the shit out of me. I talked with the doctor about how in my early 20s in the recession when the unemployment rate for my demographic was over 50% I had a small job filling bottles with supplements for $9/hr and how the gagillionaire CEO dressed me down within 30 seconds of meeting me: told me I was fat, depressed, and obviously hadn't gotten laid recently. When I said that wasn't true he said, "Well it wasn't as good as you wanted it to be, was it?" We talked about how I was minding my business on the train home from work just after Christmas 2019 when a completely random woman pepper sprayed me in the face and just stepped off the train. I possess a deep fear that somehow I am marked out for cruelty. Greg, the film club asshat, tipped his hand by calling me a narcissist. He's a narcissist. He's the one who doesn't give a damn about people and tries to warp reality so he appears a victim. Even though I knew it wasn't true when I got home from Nosferatu I was taking internet tests to see if I have empathy, signs you're a narcissist, googling "what is active addiction." Am I hurting people and I don't realize it? When I think people think I'm smart and funny am I just being completely delusional? Am I making a fool of myself? No, I'm not any of those things. But it hurt me because I just have this sense that there's something wrong with me. Something that repulses people, makes them hate me. Even strangers can pick me out of a crowd. Is it because I'm ugly? Is it because I move my body strange? Is it because they read neurodivergence on me? It feels like my fault. I've always felt that way. Like if I could just fix myself and be good enough that I could stop the abuse and have friends and hobbies and a safe place for myself. I've never been safe in my whole life and it gets to me. It's like how I feel trapped by mental illness. I try as hard as I can and it will never leave me. It's as if I'm in an abusive relationship with life itself. I was marked out at birth by my abusive parents and biology. I can take comfort that I'm a better person than all these abusers---but I still lose. I lost that job filling bottles. I lost the love of my youth. Now I lost the film club, too, something which I felt proud of. I said, "See? I can go out into the city and find friends. When I talk to people they see I'm smart and funny and they like me."

[twidara]

NANA Analysis: the bathtub theory, love and self-destruction.

TW: suicide and self-harm

⚠️SPOILERS

This isn’t a topic widely discussed due to the abrupt hiatus of NANA, but our dear Ai Yazawa loves to work with foreshadowing, and we have enough clues to consider that something really bad happened between the two timelines.

Nana is a realistic work, and we can see representations of self-destructive behaviors in many characters. When it comes to Nana Osaki and Nana Komatsu (whom I'll refer to as Hachi to make things easier), we can see these behaviors manifesting with anyone they love.

Due to her abandonment trauma, when Nana feels love for someone this can bring out her worst side: possessiveness, selfishness, jealousy, and envy. Ren is Nana’s first love, and through him, she forms a special connection with music and be singer becomes her dream. However, Nana considers her dreams and her pride more important than anything else.

For Hachi, love is more idealized… she follows the ‘formula’: fall in love > date > get married > have children > happily ever after. But Hachi doesn't just idealize love, she also idealizes who she loves.

So I think that ‘love’ becomes a self-destructive emotion for both of them. When Nana feels abandoned by those she loves (Ren and Hachi < mainly this woman), she experiences mental gaps (forgets about what she done and what happen) and also hyperventilates. Nana briefly talks about her mental gaps when she remembers the memory of her mother left her behind in the snow (while wearing red heels, which Nana realizes may not be a reliable memory). Also, she and Ren have this toxic relationship with no perspective for future, which hurts them a lot.

Then… we have Hachi, who has an insatiable desire to be loved, and this becomes ‘the compass’ for all the bad decisions she’ll make throughout her journey. Groomed by an older man in high school, moves to Tokyo with many dreams and ends up getting cheated on, and meets Takumi. Well, you already know the rest. The problem with this Nana isn’t particularly in how she loves people; she can be selfish at times, but her love is genuine, she’s not the priority. Like Nana Osaki says she’s a ‘puppy’: you kick the puppy, it gets hurt, but then the puppy always comes back to you. Hachi’s problem is that she has no self-love, pride won't be a problem, she's able to see herself as the villain in any situation (even with Takumi).

The relationships between Ren and Nana, and Hachi and Takumi are toxic in different ways. We can see both Nanas struggling with the frustration of these relationships. Nana hurts her pride so she can have some control over Ren, but it doesn’t really work.

Nana: [You can't make people do what you want. Even if you cry... or shout... or cling to them.]

And even though Hachi tries to follow this 'formula', she can’t fill the emptiness inside her, living a life full of regrets.

Hachi: [It's like the jealousy of a woman who wasn't capable of being happy... Always acting on stage, alone, running in circles no matter what she did.]

Let’s get to the point: What happened in the bathtub? I’ll start with the numerous foreshadowings about self-harm and drowning in water. I've lost count of how many times Junko and Kyosuke talked about this:

Kyosuke: [That’s scary… she might even slit her wrists, who knows.]

Junko: [Girl... I was knocking so hard for so long. I was scared you’d slit your wrists with a razor blade! (I could see it all... Blood spurting out...)]

and there's more and more... let's skip

So for some reason, everyone is convinced that Hachi is going to cut her wrists because of a heartbreak, which never even crosses her mind lol, as we can see she had other plans:

Hachi: [That night... If Nana hadn’t been there for me... I would have thrown myself into the Tama river. I’m sure of that.]

The irony is… when it comes to representations of drowning or anything related to water, Nana is the focus. We have this scene in manga, and in anime opening, we see a lot of scenes of Nana drowning.

The bathtub is more symbolic between Nana and Ren; Ren was constantly using the bathtub to ‘drown in drugs’, Reira and Takumi seem aware of this. But again, the bathtub is also extremely symbolic between Nana and Hachi, we can see some intimate moments there. And of course, Ai Yazawa wants to make us freak out. When we are convinced that Nana is the one who got hurt in the bathtub, it relates back to Hachi when she talks to Miu:

Later in the ‘present’ timeline, we’ll also see Nobu worried about Hachi while se prepares a bath for him, but Hachi is someone who could be greatly affected by a possible suicide attempt from Nana. Nana also has that death pact with Ren, in last chapters, we can see that her situation it’s not good, she’s still clinging to love to live, in this case, holding on to Hachi. To be fair, Hachi is also in a terrible situation, she’s pregnant; her hormones are all over the place, and the postpartum it’s cruel.

But I don’t think Ai Yazawa would repeat what’s happened with Shin’s mother, although Hachi is very close to that role now; after all, no matter what others think, ‘I’m his mother’. The situation of Shin’s mother it’s a parallel to Hachi’s pregnancy at certain points, especially since Yazawa wants to keep the mystery of the baby’s paternity.

Anyway, Nana, all we know is that she disappeared and everyone thought she was dead, with rumors like ‘She died at sea’.

Nana: [Any place was fine with me… As long as I could see the sea. I can die whenever I want… As long as I know the sea’s nearby. I came here… Looking for a place to die. So why… am I still here?]

The only doubt in my mind is that the women of the Osaki family are naturally runaways. Nana could have simply run away from the start. But she’s still the strong candidate, since she mentions that Hachi saved her life and since BOTH are named Nana, I wouldn’t be surprised if Hachi was just a misleading clue all this time. Junko and Kyosuke calls Hachi for her name (Nana), but maybe I’m just overthinking.

Is getting long, so to wrap up, I want to talk about the meaning of the name Ren (蓮), especially since we have two characters named Ren in Nana. The lotus flower in Buddhism represents the belief in samsara, the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. Also, is often seen as a symbol of purity because it rises and blooms beautifully above the muddy waters from which it grows. This imagery represents the idea of achieving spiritual purity despite difficult circumstances.

Nana’s Ren is dead, and given everything he represented to her, it’s entirely understandable that she feels lost. On the other hand, Hachi’s Ren has yet to be born, and it’ll likely be her greatest point of development. Although Nana seems strong enough to overcome anything, she’s not, while Hachi, who is seen as fragile, manages to persist through difficulties. It’s as if their roles initially invert: Hachi gains strength, and Nana weakens (I'm just making a comparison with the beginning of the story). Nana and Hachi continue to live with the hope that ‘Life is about getting knocked down over and over, but still getting up each time. If you keep getting up, you win’. This is something Nana learned from Ren and taught to Hachi. It’s simply beautiful how, despite everything, their love for each other is what keeps them strong, even when apart; love has become a form of healing for Nana and Hachi.

I've wanted to write about this for a while, now that I’ve read NANA 777 times, I can talk about it with more confidence hehe.

[xmads-omensx]

It's Okay, I've Got You

Masterlist

Word Count: 1,736

Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Reader

Content Warnings: Swearing, fluff, slight angst if you squint, thunderstorms

Summary: Y/N has never let Noah stay at her place, and she has never let herself stay at his. Noah gets to the bottom of it one night when a thunderstorm forces her to stay at his place.

Noah and I had been dating for around three months, but hadn’t spent the night at each other’s places yet. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be able to stay over at his place, or for him to stay at mine, but I just hadn’t made that leap yet.

It wasn’t for Noah’s lack of trying however. He had asked me if I wanted to stay over after movie dates at his place, dinner dates that ran late int the night, even driving aimlessly after getting a drive-thru meal.

He had stayed late at my place, clearly hinting towards him staying the night, but I had always played as being completely oblivious to it.

One night in particular, he was sprawled out on my sofa, with me curled up in his side as we talked about how his tour that he had just finished had been. He was visibly exhausted and all that he wanted was to curl up in bed and sleep “for at least twenty seven days” as he had said to me when he walked through the door of my apartment.

I felt his breathing start to slow as sleep overtook him, and as guilty as I felt about it, I started to shake his shoulder to wake him up. His eyes fluttered awake as he gave me a sleepy smile. “Sorry baby.” He grumbled.

“Do you want me to call you a cab?” I offered, rubbing his arm affectionately. “You probably shouldn’t drive home if you’re this tired honey.”

“I can just crash on your couch if you’re cool with it?” He said, fighting to keep his beautiful brown eyes open.

“No, Noah you need to be in your own bed. You’ve just come back from a big tour.”  I tried to convince him.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. But I’m so fucking tired.” He mumbled sleepily.

“Noah, I’m calling you a cab.” I told him, grabbing my phone and booking an uber to take him home.

“Baby I promise I’m fine on the couch.” He tried to convince me.

“Noah. You’re going home and that’s the end of it.” I huffed, frustrated.

I felt guilty for doing this to him, but I didn’t want to have to make up some bullshit excuse and this was the best I could think of. he was just back from tour after all, and a night in his own bed would do him some good.

Truth was, there was a reason that I didn’t want him to stay, and why I couldn’t stay at his place, but I was too embarrassed for him to find out. It all came to a head one night during a terrible thunderstorm that began whilst myself and Noah were curled up on his bed watching Demon Slayer together.

I heard the pitter-patter of rain on the windows and didn’t think much of it. I had always liked rain and it didn’t seem so bad that it would stop me from driving myself back home when our date was over.

Noah pulled me closer into his side as the rain got heavier, making me feel so much cozier and my heart warmed at his action. He kissed the top of my head and rested his cheek there. “Rain’s getting heavier.” He whispered.

“In that case, I should probably head home before it gets worse.” I started to pull away from him as I moved to gather all of my belongings.

“Baby no, just stay.” He protested.

“No, Noah, it’s fine. I don’t live far and the roads will be quiet. It’s fine.” I grabbed my phone charger and shoved it into my bag, moving to grab my phone and car keys off of his bedside table. Before I could, Noah grabbed my hand and placed a kiss on the back of it.

“Please baby, I want you to stay. Plus you hate driving in the dark.” He tried to convince me.

“It’s fine. It’s a short drive. I’ll send you a photo of me with a spoon on my head or some shit like that so you know I’m home safe.” I said with a laugh.

“Baby it’s raining.” He said.

“It’s not that bad and I’m sure it’ll pass soon.” I replied.

As soon as those words left my mouth, a huge crack of lightning lit up Noah’s bedroom, followed by a huge crash of thunder.

“Okay, you’re definitely not going anywhere.” Noah stated, standing up and walking towards his wardrobe. “I’ve got some clothes you can borrow and then you can head back to your place tomorrow.”

I couldn’t control the fear that overtook my body as tears involuntarily fell down my face.

“Here’s an old shirt you can borrow…” Noah trailed off once he had turned back round to face me. “What’s up baby?” he walked over to me, placing the folded shirt on his bed, before taking me into a warm hug.

“Nothing it’s fine.” I mumbled into his hoodie.

“It’s not nothing if you’re crying babe. What’s going on?” He pushed.

“It’s embarrassing and you’ll laugh at me.” I said, looking at my feet.

“How about you get changed and we get into bed and we can talk about it?” Noah suggested.

Feeling defeated, I nodded my head and shuffled towards his ensuite bathroom. Locking the door, I looked up into the mirror and saw that my eyes had started to become puffy and my makeup had started to run. This was so fucking dumb.

After wiping my face clean with some of the makeup wipes Noah had bought when I started to hang out at his place more, I realised that I was going to have to tell him my deep, dark, embarrassing secret.

Accepting my defeat, I unlocked the bathroom door and opened it. I was greeted by Noah already sat in bed with a warm smile. The room was now only illuminated by his LED lights that were turned on a warm orange.

“Feel better baby?” Noah asked softly. I nodded weakly in reply, walking towards the bed. I hopped up and curled up with my head resting on Noah’s chest.

“You want to talk about it?” He whispered. I shrugged my shoulders. “It might help to talk about it.”

“It’s embarrassing and you’ll laugh at me.” I sighed in defeat.

“I swear to god, I won’t laugh. I would never laugh at you, beautiful.” He reassured.

“Imscaredofthedark.” I quickly mumbled into his bare chest.

“Hmm?” He questioned. “What did you say baby, I didn’t hear you.”

I sighed and said quietly, “I’m scared of the dark.”

There was a beat of silence before either of us spoke up again.

“I’m scared of heights.” Noah stated simply.

“What?” Questioned.

“Sorry, are we not just listing things that we are scared of?” He asked with a smile on his face.

“No Noah! I’m being serious. I’m scared, and I was too embarrassed to stay over or for you to stay over at my place and see my stupid fucking nightlight and laugh at me! There! I said it! Happy now?” I yelled at him in frustration.

“Wait here.” Noah got out of bed, put a shirt on and left his bedroom. I could hear footsteps pattering down the stairs. I sat back and sighed in frustration. He was going to leave me because I’m so fucking childish and too much of a pussy to be taken seriously by any man ever. Fuck my life.

About ten minutes had passed and Noah still wasn’t back. Oh my god. Was he downstairs telling Jolly and Jesse? They would all be laughing at me too!

There was never a real reason why the dark scared me so much. I knew nothing would hurt me. I guess it was always just the idea of being alone in a space that didn’t allow me to see everything. The unknown aspect of it always creeped me out.

That’s why my grandmother had bought me a nightlight when I moved out of the family home. She was the only one who had ever taken my phobia seriously. She had passed away about a year ago, and no one had ever understood me since, so I just stopped telling people when my nightlight came up in conversation, or staying over at other people’s houses.

Tears welled up in my eyes again and I began to cry softly into Noah’s pillow that still smelled like him.

Suddenly, his bedroom door opened slowly and in walked Noah. His hair was wet and his shirt was drenched and stuck to his chest. I looked at him with an expression of pure confusion. He whipped off his wet shirt and threw it in the laundry basket before grabbing a towel and drying hir hair slightly.

He held out his Bad Omens bag and handed it to me, then climbed back into bed and sat where he previously was.

“Where did you go?” I asked.

“Open the bag.” He smiled down at me, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

I pulled on the zipper and opened the bag. Inside was a nightlight. But, not just any nightlight, MY nightlight. The one from my apartment. He had gone out in the thunderstorm and gotten it for me.

“Do you want to do the honours or should I?” He asked with a smile.

“What?” I replied. Still in slight shock from this romantic gesture.

“Plug it in? Do you want to do it, or should I?”

“Hmm… You can.” I said.

“Hang on then.” He gently took the nightlight from my hands and walked over to the outlet that was next to his bedroom door. He turned it on and it lit up with a soft, warm glow. Noah waked back over to the bed and climbed in. he then reached over to his bedside table and turned off his LED lights, making the room darker.

Noah could feel my body tense up slightly, so he pulled me closer to him and placed a kiss on top of my head.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He whispered as he slowly began to rock me back and forth to comfort me. “Nothing is going to hurt you. Not when I’m here.”

I could feel sleep take over my body as I listened to his calming, steady heartbeat.

That was the best night sleep I had gotten in years.