#and i've still got another 3 bits of writing to draft before i can write

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #41 | 5.28.24 ๋࣭⭑

It's hot girl (/gender neutral) summer season

HAPPY MAY!!

Hope you're all doing well <3 We're already getting into summer, which is a little crazy to me. The year is flying by! Before I get into what we actually did this month, it wouldn't be a May devlog without our annual Mermay celebration!

Look at those locks. His Ariel/Rapunzel era fr

Since I already had updated Mermay pieces for the Alaris LIs, I decided to do one for our beloved Van this year ^^ Hope you all like it!

For writing this month, I spent a lot of it catching up on Etza edits. Being totally transparent, I wasn't Completely Happy with their route when their draft was finished. But now that I've started the editing process with Wudgey, I'm really excited to see how their route is shaping up!!! We've been fleshing a lot of little interactions out with their route, and I can already see Etza's character really starting to shine with these edits ^^

I've also been chipping away at Kuna'a's route! While it's nowhere near finished, I'm hopeful that this upcoming month will be the month of Kuna'a now that I don't have a bunch of releases I'm trying to balance. His route is also one of the ones whose outline is more fleshed out (Druk and Etza I would say were the least fleshed out, which might be why they also took a bit longer). So I'd love to see Kuna'a's first draft complete/almost complete by the next devlog!

This month, I had to dust off my art skills tbh LMFAOIJSDF. It's been.... a WHILE since I've made CGs since I've been in the writing and coding dungeon for so long. So most of this month's art updates are me getting tilted from redrawing an ugly sketch over and over.

I DID manage to get the Van Mermay piece out. And I also was able to sketch out Kayn's Tragic End CG; that leaves only one CG that has to be sketched out! Currently, six of their CGs are finished, two need to be rendered, and one needs to be drawn still.

And since Kayn's CGs are mostly done, I've started drawing Fenir's. I was actually able to finish one because I basically Locked In when I made it, so here is a sneak peek!

Kisses his little pink nose

You might notice there's not toooo many updates on this month's devlog. The reason for that is because this month, I spent a lot of it recovering both mentally and physically. April shenanigans and those back-to-back releases took a lot out of me, and after going full speed basically since this year started, I learned I REALLY needed a break. That coupled with the concussion I got made it so that most of this month was focused on recovering and then getting back into the groove of things.

Another thing I tried to focus on this month was finding a balance in my workflow. Going into this month, I felt like I was on the verge of a mental breakdown almost every day, in large part because I have a lot of big things I'm trying to accomplish this year. Between finishing my dissertation, Alaris, and a personal big event that I have to plan, I have a lot on my plate this year, and it's made it easy to get overwhelmed as the months pass by. So I wanted to find a balance between all three that didn't make me feel like I was also falling into insanity. After talking to beloved Wudgey of @herotome fame, I've started adopting a schedule that gives me enough structure and flexibility to feel like I'm making progress without going crazy and getting lost in the sauce.

While it's still early in the process, I'm really happy with the balance I've hit, and I'm feeling much more like myself now compared to a month ago!

I caught up on quite a few things in my backlog this month, which made me happy ^^ I always like to learn from and support other devs, so finally being able to return to that helped with the recovery process <3

I don't have any actual fanart pieces, but there are a couple of games I'd like to highlight!

First of all, of course I must talk about our hot girl (/gender neutral) summer cross-promo. If you haven't checked out these games, I can't recommend them enough!!

Links to each game can be found on the Alaris Game page under the magic and mystery otome section!

Specifically, Save the Villainess, The Good People, and Thorn for the Villain are amazing games if you're into thriller/political games layered with mystery

The Silent Kingdom (which I played recently and is AMAZING) and Dual Chroma (Otojam 2023 ALLY) have added mechanics of RPG for exciting action-adventure fantasy stories

Lost in Limbo, Obscura, and Snow White Ashes are BEAUTIFUL dark fantasy games. I've played all three of these and they have some of the most beautiful writing and visuals... BIG FAN OF ALL OF THEM.

Mask Beyond Lies and Sigh of the Abyss have that epic fantasy adventure appeal to them, in a way that I think is similar to Alaris! And Pearlglow Cafe (another Otojam 2023 ALLY) is a very lighthearted and charming game for those of you who like the comfy vibe that most of my stories have!!

Some other games that I played are Favor (@favorvn) by beloved @concreteparasite which is SOOOOO stylish. If you've played Binary Star Hero by Connie, you can expect that same stylish, dark, sultry vibe from Favor. If you haven't checked out either of those games by Connie, I can't recommend them enough, especially if you like yanderes. There is so much aesthetic and atmosphere to them!

I also played Where Winter Crows Go by @prikarin who is a VERY talented developer (and one I'm sure many are familiar with). I had a lot of fun romancing Crowe and both the MC and him have such strong personalities, it was so fun seeing their dynamic!!!! The CGs were also made by anta, who is the dev behind Thorn for the Villain, and they're BEAUTIFULLLLL. Each one has so much style and rly has a professional look to them. Can't recommend enough if you haven't played already ((heads up that it is another yandere game for those who can't do yandere!))

Okay I've yapped enough. If you've made it this far, you are god's strongest soldier LFMASLDIFJ. See you all next month with hopefully some exciting progress!

[bonefall]

Any thoughts on Moonpaw’s design? Do you plan to make her appearance a bit more unique/utilize the chimera a bit more?

Honestly I think her canon design is pretty fantastic! I don't agree with those who're saying it's not unique lmao, like, the team's never been THIS creative before. She blows Pure Gray Cats 3, 4, and 5 out of the water.

But, boy oh BOY am I gonna have fun with this one. Last night I sketched up a possible combo for each Moonpaw from the options I presented. Whichever one gets picked I'll tweak more, but I went ahead and made a 'base' character design for each one.

Also bonus: Headshots for all of the possible parents. Note the slight update for Stormcloud, I figured out a better way to draw his cheek fluff and changed his stripe pattern a bit

Whatever designs end up not being used for Moonpaw, I'll probably tweak for another new litter. ThriftPlum and ShellFern's hypokits will slot well into the eventual ShellFern litter we (HOPEFULLY) get soon, and with a slight edit, StormCherry's can be a new Honeyfur.

PlumThrift

This one's becoming the least likely to happen I think. It could still win if it's the most fitting with the arc, supposing canon ends up writing a strained relationship between Moon and her parents, but based on the preview stuff that's not the case.

Still! I do like the Two Soccer Moms And Their Weird Child lmao.

Thrift and Plum are a downright deadly united front. They play Good Cop Bad Cop like they're practically telepathic. So I tried to get that across in their headshots.

Plumstone always looks laidback and chill. Thriftear exudes an aura of seriousness.

Their weird child inherits neither of these things. She looks like she eats bugs.

I decided to make this Moonpaw look REALLY fluffy. Plumstone inherited her grandpa Graystripe's body type, so it would be a shame if Moony didn't get it too.

FlipBay

BB!Bayshine is a DustFern descendant. He has his great-grandfather Dustpelt's plate.

The stripes come from grandfather Birchfall, who gave them to mother Duststripe.

Flipclaw is strikingly similar to his grandfather Lionblaze, back before he started balding.

While drawing this one I started trying to play around with the chimera idea more, that she's half of one cat and half of another. When the face plate came into it, it STRUCK me like lighting

It looks like phantom of the opera!!

So I started experimenting with one side being shorter-furred, and got a draft down before moving on to a waaay more in-depth design.

This was the last one I did last night before going to bed, so I'll post the evolution I made in a separate post. It's the one with the most potential thanks to the plate so it got pretty big.

ShellFern

Most Moonpaw designs are chunky, but I've always seen Shellfur as pretty slim. Definitely the slimmest in his recent family-- since Graystripe, the Dapplekin family has been thick and fluffy.

Mix that with Fernstripe, a WindClan cat, I made this Moonpaw resemble some kind of gazelle.

Fernstripe has this long, "fern-shaped" stripe on her body. Paired with Moonpaw's half-black body it looks kind of like stitches which is, imo, cool as fuck

I let her crescent-tufts add to the shape too, they curl in like horns... though, I am worried it looks too much like Curlfeather.

I'll probably give this one another pass if Moonpaw ends up being a ShellFern baby.

Also this take makes her took a bit more grumpy so she's closer in personality to her dad.

StormCherry

This is actually the first one I did

Cherryfall has a perfectly round, cherry-shaped face. She actually looks a ton like her dad, Berrynose.

I wanted to give Moonpaw that same face, because hers is simply a half-moon.

She looks like a stressed-out eevee and I kinda dig it LMAO

In color, this Moonpaw would probably lean more towards red than ginger. I see Cherry as a reddish cat.

She could also inherit Poppy's special red eyes-- she got those from being fetched away from StarClan by Jayfeather. Shadowsight also got them.

The stripe pattern is from Stormcloud. I decided recently that I'm going to try and limit thunder-shaped stripes to the Tigerkin family, something they inherit from Thunderstar himself. So Stormcloud's are now transverse across his body, with a distinct nose snip.

When I finally do decide StormCherry's kits, be that now with Moonpaw or later, I'll standardize Stormy's new stripes by giving him a new fullbody.

[uwukillmenowowo]

Part 2 of thr class 1a vs class 1b please!

I've had this in the very back of my inbox so WAUDBAKJWDBLAKWJBD

Hopefully I can get the requests done because DAMN- LOSING MY PREVIOUS DRAFTS WAS HEARTBREAKING-

.......... Gonna be honest- I had no clue what I was writing here.

COMPETITION Pt. 2

(Yandere BNHA X F!Reader!)

Chapter 1

Notes:

Reader/ [Y/n] will be female for the sake of ✨Cliche writing~!✨

[Y/n]'s quirk allows her to manipulate water Juvia Lockser style [I chose water because it goes well with a lot of the class's quirks]

[Y/n]'s personality is the classic "Naive, innocent, strawberry milk sweetheart"

I may have left out something but I forgot what it was... :(

I hope it's still good tho :)

Lately all your friends have been acting weird. They want to do stuff like hanging out with you more, have a spar, have a snack, study, stuff like that. At first you found it cute and spent time with whoever asked first... but now... things have become... rough.

{Your POV}

~~~~~

I hummed to myself as I continued to prepare dinner for me and my friends. Thankfully it was a Friday so we didn't have school tomorrow. "What'cha makin' there?" Tetsutetsu asked, standing beside me. "Oh- I thought I'd just make some chicken katsudon with curry." Tetsutetsu told me that it sounded good and asked if we could watch a movie too.

I agreed and told them that they could choose the movie and I heard them cheer. they also said that they were going to move some pillows to make a fort of blankets and pillows. 'How sweet.' I thought as my mind thought of me and my friends watching a movie with us all cuddled against each other for warmth.

{Third POV}

~~~~~

Meanwhile- in the ally where the others were, they were stuck in a stalemate. They kept moving around on the rooftops and allyways to not be seen by other civilians. But in return, they ended up in the ally right beside your house.

They couldn't really- fight because they know how much of a cautious/paranoid person you were. You would check outside just to check if it's a problem or if its a stray. how do they know this? Well duh- You're their obsession, of course they know everything about you.

"Truce..?" Monoma asked bitterly as he gazed towards your apartment and then to the others in 1-A.

Said students, (especially Bakugo) didn't like the idea. But considering that they were by your place. they agreed.

"Uraraka." Izuku whispered to the gravity user. She nodded before using her quirk to float her, Izuku, and Iida towards your door. Of course- the other 1-B students were a bit pissed but at the same time, what were they gonna do? If anything they knew that they might make fools of themselves.

'The girl is too energetic. The broccoli stammers too much and glasses is too strict. There's no way she'd prefer them over our class' Monoma thought and smirked. "Let's take out spots." Monoma told the others and started to go on his way to their "stalking spot"

{Your POV}

~~~~~

I chocked on my food as another jumpscare popped up. "why did you guys choose this movie!" I cried as I snuggled up against Shiozaki for comfort. She carefully wrapped an arm around my shoulder and nuzzled her cheek against mine. telling me that it'll be fine.

*Ding Dong*

"I'll get it." Kuroiro said and got up. the movie continued playing so I didn't see who was at the door. Until I heard the familiar sound of Iida loudly asking where I was and if it was even okay for the students from A-B to be here. I told Shiozaki that I'd be back in a bit and got up.

"Kuroiro?" I asked and stood by his side. There I saw three of my friends from 1-A. "Oh! Guys! What are you three doing here so late?" Izuku looked around nervously, Iida started speaking really fast so I didn't know what he was saying, and Uraraka just kept giving me a look of admiration.

"Well. how about you three come in. The others and I are just watching a movie." I pulled Kuroiro to the side to let in my friends.

It doesn't hurt right? The more the merrier!

Right?

Pt 3 or 4 might be the final one gang-

My brain just holds white noise and cobwebs

Like- My train of though we *Fwoop* and *Poof*

[staybabblingbaby]

Soulmate Garden AU Ch.2 (Anemone) a3d2

[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]

Concept: Growing up, you knew Soulmates weren't all that they cracked up to be. So when, on your 18th birthday, your skin is painted with a garden of flower buds, you resolve to hide it from everyone. Who had ever heard of someone with 8 soulmates, anyway?

Or; Reader has 8 soulmates and no issue avoiding all of them. It's up to SKZ to show her that while every soulbond might not be made of fairy tales, theirs certainly could be.

Word Count: 4,218

Notes: I don't feel like the summary completely matches this story anymore. I'm also not really satisfied with this chapter, but I'm too tired to really get into a whole bunch of drafts and edits, I've just really been feeling poorly lately. The archive is for writing progress anyways, it's fine. I'll probably rewrite this whole chapter if I ever get to where I'd be comfortable posting finished versions to Ao3. I'm also just not fond of my writing style somehow. It feels too formal, doesn't flow enough. Problem is that I really talk like that lmao. Idk, I'll figure it out.

Dividers by @saradika

Warnings: She/Her Reader

Leave me comments or questions or anything! Love hearing from folks <3

Masterlist <3 | Prev Part | Next Part

Bangchan clambered into the van behind Felix, Minho and Jisung loading into the row in front of them. It always felt a bit weird to not spend some time swapping seatmates around based on who was clinging to who at the moment, but on days like today it was easier to just board the vehicles as quick as possible.

He's ended up with a relatively quite combination of their cluster today, and Chan was grateful for it as he settled into his seat with a pained grimace.

He wasn’t sure when it had started, but a persistent on-and-off pain had been roaming around his back for the last twenty minutes as they’d said goodbye to Stays and prepared to leave the venue. He’d be more worried about it, except the sharp, needle-like, pains would settle into a gentler ache before kicking back up again.

As it was, Chan was pretty sure he’d pinched a nerve or strained something and would simply rest when he got back to the hotel. Maybe call up the PT. For now, as three of his soulmates settled in around him, Chan was content to leave it be.

Well, almost. Another twinge of pain makes him wince as he twists to buckle in, and Chan decides that maybe it’d be a good idea to know what he was working with. For comfort’s sake, if nothing else.

“Felix,” He prods the blond next to him, “Can you look at my back for me? I think I pinched something.” He motions toward his lower back, where the majority of the pain had been accumulating.

Felix immediately nods his acceptance, their group’s resident massage expert always willing to lend a hand. Especially if it let him lay hands on his very well built soulmates.

Chan scooches forward and rotates around, balancing with his hand on the headrest of the seat in front of him. He helps Felix shimmy his shirt upwards, struggling with it where it gets caught in the seat-belt.

Chan ends up stuck struggling on his own as Felix chooses that moment to direct his eyes and hands to the afflicted area.

“There’s your first issue,” Felix tuts, “You’ve left your concealment tape on. You’ll give yourself a rash one of these days, hyung.”

Chan gives a sheepish smile from where he’s managed to trap himself in a cloth prison. His head is free, and the shirt his appropriately bunched up over his shoulders and around his neck. Unfortunately, he hadn’t managed to free his hands, so he’s got a bit of a t-Rex thing going on right now. It’s fine.

“I forget it’s there,” he confesses with a whine, “I can’t see my own back, y’know?”

Felix rolls his eyes at their oh-so-glorious leader, carefully peeling the thin material away from Chan’s skin as he scolds, “You still need to take it off. We sweat way too much to not at least change it after a performance.”

He’s bunching up the extra-strength tape to maybe toss at Jisung in the front seat (maybe Minho, if he’s feeling very brave), when he spots something off.

More than half a decade into having found each other, the members of Stray Kids were intimately familiar with each other’s soulmarks. Every drop of color, every line, every curve.

So when Felix looks at the freshly uncovered canvas on Chan’s back, familiar trees, bushes, and rocks painting a forested landscape that describes their impact on their eldest, something new immediately catches his eye.

There, on the fallen log that bridged two banks of a crystal-clear creek, was a moss blanket and a cluster little shelf mushrooms. They added life to the previously defunct object, a little bit of color that couldn’t have been said to be missing until it wasn’t.

The closer Felix looked, the more he saw. A mushroom here, a mossy patch there. Little signs of life and decay that he could have sworn weren’t there the last time he looked.

He looks to Jisung, who’s blissfully unaware.

As the first of their cluster to paint Chan’s skin with color, he was the most familiar with their leader’s mark. Jisung had been too young for his own mark to have appeared when he’d met Chan, but that didn’t stop him from influencing their eldest’s. They all knew he’d spent a lot of time studying Chan’s mark (and Changbin’s when it had appeared, already partially colored in) while waiting for his own.

If there was anyone who’d be more than certain of a change in their soulmarks, it’d be Jisung.

Felix swiftly removes his hands from Chan’s back, earning him a little noise of confusion from the prone man, and reaches over to poke Jisung harshly in the side.

Jisung immediately flinches away from the offending fingers with a loud yelp, attracting the attention of Minho, who’d been peacefully scrolling on his phone. Jisung swiftly fixes Felix with an offended glare, ready to retaliate, but is cut off before he can even try.

“Look at Chan’s mark for me.” Felix demands.

“My mark?” Chan echoes, baffled and alarmed. “What’s wrong with my mark?”

“Nothing, hyung,” Felix assures, “I just need to check I’m not seeing things.”

A series of furtive, silent, and, on Felix’s part, urgent, gestures are exchanged before Jisung finally relents and leans around the back of his seat, grabbing Minho’s for balance as the van departs.

Jisung lazily traces his eyes over Chan’s soulmark. All of Stray Kids had huge marks, but Jisung privately thought that Chan had them all beat. His mark spanned his entire back, not an inch untouched by the image. From shoulder to hip was an oil painting of a mark, filled in from what used to be a desolate landscape to what was now a thriving forest.

Jisung used to think it was so overwhelming to be part of such a mark. To be loved so much, and so deeply. It was evident in every brushstroke of the image on Chan’s skin, and in every action of the man himself.

These days, he found great comfort in it.

He’d gotten so lost in thought as he studied his soulmate’s mark that Jisung had almost missed what had caught Felix’s attention in the first place. But sure enough, his eyes catch on the same log that Felix’s had.

“Oh.” He whispers to himself. “Oh.” He says again, as Minho shoves his head under Jisung’s arm to look himself.

“No, yeah, that’s different.” He confirms, Minho nodding against him, having already spotted it for himself. The two of them find their eyes glued to tiny mushrooms, only sparing a moment to glance at each other before returning their gaze to Chan’s skin, each with their own racing thoughts.

“I thought so.” Felix nods to himself.

“What?” Chan questions, becoming more alarmed by the second, “What’s going on? What’s happened? What’s wrong with my mark?”

Felix lays his palms flat on Chan’s back and begins to rub gentle, soothing, circles. Any changes to a soulmark were stressful at the best of times, and they all knew how much Chan treasured his.

“There’s nothing wrong,” Felix soothes, letting the warmth of Chan’s mark resonating with his touch calm them both as he searches for gentle words.

“It’s just,” He begins hesitantly, “Well, the good news is that you haven’t pinched or strained anything.”

“Good news?” Chan echoes, “Is there bad news?” He lets a nervous giggle fall from his lips even as he relaxes into Felix’s hands.

“Not necessarily?” Felix says uncertainly, “It’s just. Well. Your mark has changed.” He pauses a second and pulls out his phone, quickly snapping a picture and then passing it around so Chan can see. “Something’s been added.”

Felix lets the implication of his words sit untouched in the air as the three of them wait for Chan to process what this means.

Ironically, Chan was the least familiar with his own mark out of all of them. His and Minho’s both resided on their backs so it stood to reason that the two of them didn’t see their marks very often. So it was no surprise that it took Chan several, very long, moments to spot the tiny changes.

When he does, Chan pulls in a deep, stuttering breath. The pain is already fading out to an ache now that it’s been acknowledged and Chan isn’t sure how he feels about the extra confirmation.

He carefully pulls his shirt back down, breaking his soulmate’s line of sight like they hadn’t already burned the image onto their retinas. He doesn’t remove his eyes from Felix’s phone.

“I...” He trails off, “I have another soulmate?” His voice is filled with wonder as he marvels at the picture of his mark. He looks up at the rest of his soulmates currently in the van with awe. “We have another soulmate?”

“Yeah,” Minho whispers, voice choked with emotion, “Yeah it looks like it.”

Felix doesn’t wait for Chan to fully turn around before he’s pulling their leader into a bone-crushing hug, giddy, disbelieving, laughter spilling out of him even as tears prick at his eyes.

“Oh my god!” Felix celebrates quietly as Chan wiggles to return his hug just as tightly. “Oh my god.” The other man agrees.

Even as his soulmates celebrate around him, each feeling their own storm of emotions, Chan can’t quite grasp the reality of the situation.

Stray Kids was a uniquely large soul cluster. From the beginning, when it had become evident that Hannie wasn’t his only soulmate, it had caused issues. Then came Bin, and the rest had followed like dominos. Each time their circle expanded he’d thought “this has to be it, right?” and each time there was a little voice in the back of his mind saying, “No, not yet.”

The issue was that that feeling, that little voice saying ”not yet”, the knowledge that they weren’t complete, had never gone away.

By the time they had all met, none of them could spot anything obviously missing from their marks. All of them were completely colored, lines drawn, images complete. And yet, every one of them felt that hollowness of an incomplete bond.

They’d talked about it a lot. Individually, as a group, in pairs and in quartets and seemingly endless combinations. It was hard, as the years went by, to ignore that nagging feeling.

Chan would always remember Jeongin crawling into his bed in the middle of the night, crying and apologizing for not being enough. Could never forget taking Jisung to a rage room so they could both break down their feelings or drinking with Changbin and wondering if it was wrong for them to be so greedy as to want more when they already had so much.

After so many years, they’d begun to wonder if they were just broken. If they didn’t have another soulmate out there after all, and it was all in their heads.

It had been hard. It was hard.

And now that little blank space in his soul was painted with someone else’s colors and Chan felt whole in a way he wasn’t sure he’d ever experience.

It kind of made him want to cry.

He wanted to cry even more when Felix innocently asks, “So what were they like?” An unmatched eagerness in his eyes as Chan pulled away.

That one guileless question triggers a realization in Chan that has his groaning in despair and slumping forward back onto Felix’s shoulder.

“I don’t know.” Chan mumbles into the shoulder of the slighter man.

“What was that?” Jisung questions from where he and Minho were still turned toward him, obviously as curious as Felix.

“I said I don’t know!” Chan wails, wilting further into Felix’s frame.

“How do you not know?” Minho questions incredulously. Felix gasps as he connects dots he’d been too excited to before.

“I didn’t even know my mark had changed before now,” Chan explains miserably, “I don’t even know exactly when the pain started.”

Jisung sucks in a hiss of air, sympathy splashed across his face. “Oh geeze,” he breathes out, “How many people have we met today alone?”

“Ok, well,” Felix interjects, “Not ideal, but we’ll figure it out!”

Minho turns his incredulous stare onto the optimistic man.

"How are we going to figure it out?" He demands, "Because there were tens of thousands of people in that stadium and I know every single one of us shook dozens of hands tonight."

Felix wilts a little bit even as Jisung comes to his defense, "We kind of have to figure it out, hyung," he points out, "And soon. We're back to Seoul soon."

"Okay but how?" Minho challenges, "And don't give me any 'with the power of love and fate' crap."

"We might have to rely on fate." Chan shrugs, dejected. "It's not like I have a description or anything to give out."

"It'll be okay Channie hyung," Felix pats Chan's back lightly from where they're still entangled together, "It'll have to be."

The van descends into silence as the four of them contemplate their new situation. After a few minutes Chan leverages himself up and out of Felix's embrace to frown aimlessly at his knees.

"Well," Felix breaks the silence, "We don’t have any more shows after this, and we have some days of break time, right?”

“Right,” Chan confirms, “We have tomorrow off and then we’re returning to Seoul to start working on the next album.”

“But officially,” Felix hedges, “We have, like, an entire week off, don’t we?”

“Not quite, but sure,” Chan hesitantly agrees.

“Well, we know they were in town for the concert at least,” Felix continues, “So as long as they didn’t leave the city immediately after, I mean, there's seven more first contacts to go, right?”

“Are you saying we should spend our break wandering around trying for first contacts?” Jisung asks, “Because I’m all for searching for them, but I don’t know that aimless wandering is gonna help.”

Chan holds up his hands to halt that conversation before it could devolve into a bigger debate.

“Let’s shelve that for now, and meet up with the others at the hotel,” He suggests, “We should discuss this as a group anyways.”

He receives a variety of agreements and the four of them settle in for the short remaining drive back to their hotel. He absently hands Felix’s phone back to him and retrieves his own from his pocket to ask the others to meet them in his room.

Chan looks out the window, post-concert fatigue all but a memory. As the buildings pass by, he can’t help but hope that their mystery soulmate was looking for them too.

You reaffirm your decision to never ever meet your soulmates as Taylor loads you into the car, arm wrapped protectively around your shoulder the whole way.

It was one thing when your stupidly large soul cluster was just an idea. Knowledge you held, but unactionable in any way.

It was another when you had evidence, in the form of little white flowers burning with warmth on your skin, that they were real, physical, people.

Even worse when you knew that they were a group of very famous musicians.

You hadn’t actually been sick when you’d texted Taylor, who’d thankfully managed to get all of the autographs he’d wanted before he’d checked his phone to try to find you, but you were getting there. Anxiety had nausea creeping up your throat like molasses.

You’re beyond grateful when your roommate doesn’t question your sudden illness, the both of you well aware that you were hale and hearty when you’d left the house.

Taylor just buckles you in like you’re something precious and fragile and takes the wheel.

The two of you drive in silence the entire way home. It’s not awkward, but you can’t deny the weight of something heavy in the air. The buzz of the concert still lingered between the two of you, and it only made the silence stifling and itchy.

When you pull into your apartment complex neither of you speak for a long moment.

“Sorry for ruining the day.” You murmur to the air in front of you. Taylor just reaches over to pat your thigh and unclip your seatbelt.

“You didn’t ruin anything,” He assures, “Don’t sweat it.” He hesitates a moment before continuing.

“I’m not gonna push,” Taylor begins gently, “But you know you can talk to me, right? Whatever happened, I’m not gonna judge. I just wanna be here for you.”

“What makes you think something happened?” You mutter mulishly. Taylor just gives you a look that has you sinking into your seat.

“It’s nothing. I’m just being dramatic.” You admit. He bumps your shoulder with his and climbs out of the car.

“It’s not nothing if it makes you feel something.” He tells you as he goes. The two of you walk up to the apartment in silence, contemplative this time.

You think about telling him as the two of you separate to wash the concert off of yourselves. You think about it as you take turns using the bathroom and as you make dinner side by side. You think about it as you settle in front of the couch at his feet as his hands automatically pull your head to his knees, his fingers digging into your hair just how you like.

You want to tell him, you decide. You do. It's just that. Well...

Your sister was right, in a way. You’d known Taylor for over a year now, but the two of you didn’t really know much about each other. You really were just roommates.

You didn’t know what his favorite color was. You didn’t know the names of his parents, or if he had any siblings. You barely knew what he did for a living. He’d only ended up your roommate by virtue of you responding to his “roommate wanted” ad with full willingness to be murdered on the spot.

At the same time, the two of you knew everything about each other. You knew how he took his coffee in the morning, that he preferred his eggs dry and over-seasoned. You knew the bands he liked and the games he played. You knew his hobbies better than you knew your own sometimes, and more about his friend’s drama that you ever wanted to.

You know the important things, you think.

You know that every word you tell him in confidence will be clutched tightly all the way to the grave.

“I met my soulmate today.” You confess, your cheek pressed to his knee, half-asleep.

The words somehow feel like they were snatched from the darkest depths of your soul as they spill from your lips. You make no move to take them back.

Taylor’s hand, to his credit, only pauses for a moment. Then he treats your hushed admission like any other comment made while you nod off to dramas the both of you know you only watch for him, resuming the soothing movement of his hand and humming lightly to acknowledge you.

You think it’s that casual treatment that lets you find the courage to continue.

“Well, one of them anyway.” You mumble. Taylor hums his interest, but doesn't take his eyes off of the screen and doesn’t stop petting your hair.

“I don’t want to meet them. There’s so many of them and only one of me, y'know? I don’t even know how to love myself, how am I supposed to love eight other people?” Taylor says nothing still, his eyes glued to an episode of a drama you know the two of you have already finished three times over.

“I’m scared I’ll fuck it up. I’m scared they’ll fuck me up.” Your voice cracks as you breathe life into one of your deepest fears. You realize as you say it that you’ve never voiced these thoughts aloud before, even to yourself.

Tears prick at the back of your eyes when you admit, “I’m not ready for them. I don’t think I can be.”

Taylor finally gives in to the seriousness of the conversation and hauls you bodily up onto the couch. You go willingly, but with rag-doll limpness. He rearranges you to his liking and you find yourself in Gossip Position, sitting criss-cross facing him.

“First of all,” He starts in, his usual levity giving way to a seriousness you rarely see from him, “Don’t be mean to my best friend. I’ll hit you.” You ignore his threat in favor of the warm feeling in chest at hearing him call you his best friend.

Take THAT Ma! No friends your glorious behind.

“Secondly, you are literally the most loving person I have ever met in my life. You would fit the entire world in there if you could,” He pokes your chest, right above your heart, for emphasis, “So I’m not that surprised you have more than one soulmate.”

“I have eight though,” You argue, “Isn’t that weird?”

Taylor just shrugs. “I mean, yeah. But weird is basically your brand, so...” He trails off with a teasing smirk.

You shove him a bit in retaliation, but he just grabs your wrists to still you and continues speaking before you can argue.

“I don’t think eight soulmates is enough for you, honestly,” He muses, “I mean it when I say you’re the most loving person I know. I think you’d even try to take care of Danny if he needed you to.” The mention of Taylor’s very creepy second cousin sends a shiver down both of your spines.

The worst part is that you can’t even argue with him.

“But you know, even with eight soulmates, you don’t have to be with them.” Taylor suddenly switches tracks to reassure you, “They’re your soulmates sure, but you’re your own person. They’re for you, it’s not like they are you. You can live without, if you really want to.”

The two of you let that statement settle for a moment. He’s right, you know all too well. Still, the thought leaves a wad of uncomfortable and complicated feelings lodged in your throat.

After a moment’s pause, you break the silence.

“I have too many years of trauma and not enough therapy money to unpack everything I’m feeling right now.”

Taylor cracks first, and giggles come pouring out of the two of you. The joke wasn’t even funny, but you guessed the two of you had been serious for far too long.

Some minutes later, when the giggles finally die down and you return to watching Taylor’s show, you find yourself with your head on his shoulder.

“Whatever you decide, you know I’m here for you, right?” Taylor quietly picks up where the conversation had left off.

“Sure,” you agree, “Like I was there for you when you cried over a boy I told you wasn’t shit.” You completely deserve the elbow to the side you receive for that comment.

“Shut up, I’m being cheesy!” Taylor scolds with a laugh.

“I’m lactose intolerant!” You complain, but obligingly fall silent.

“Seriously,” Taylor insists, “I’ll be here every step of the way. Whatever you need.”

You wrap your arms around the one of his that you’re leaning on and give a gentle squeeze to show your appreciation. “Thanks Tay.” you murmur.

“Of course. You got me front row tickets to a SKZ concert, we’re ride or die whether you like it for not!” You poke his side to scold him for not being serious after just insisting that you be, but end up having to fight for your life when he immediately retaliates by trying to tickle you.

It takes the two of you quite a while to calm down again, Taylor smug in his victory. He holds your ankles in his lap like trophies of war as you stare at the ceiling. The quiet creeps back in quickly, so you speak.

“I’m just not sure what I want, I think.” You tell him, “I don’t want to meet them. But at the same time, I really do, y’know?”

Taylor nods, “Just let the universe do its thing.” he suggests, “If you’re meant to meet them now, you’ll meet them regardless of what you want. But after you meet them, it’s all up to you.”

You nod along, humming your acceptance of his advice. He’s right, again. You can’t really fight fate, even if you desperately want to. But even within that large restraint, you’re a human being with free will. The world is your oyster and all that.

You let your thoughts fade out and just listen to Taylor yap about the drama on the TV as he finally tunes back into it.

It’s nearly dawn when the two of you decide to turn in, post-concert jitters having deserted you and heavy conversations having taken their toll.

“Did you manage to get their name before you bolted?” Taylor asks out of nowhere as you’re walking to your respective rooms. “Your soulmate’s” He clarifies at your confused look.

“Oh, I didn’t need to.” You answer absentmindedly, already opening your door and dreaming of your cozy sheets. “It was Bangchan.”

You close your door on his gawping face, blissfully unaware of the crisis you’d just sent him into.

Perma Tag List: @Mbioooo0000

[inkwell-passion]

When Time Stands Still

Time slows to a halt, just like I wished. Finally, I can work all I want, my needs and bodily functions frozen with everyone else. I sit down to research my next subject, to better explain the technology within my world.

It's unbearably dull, and I'm not sure why. Right before I wished it was the most enthralling thing, but now it feels like I could be doing better things with my time. so I get up, grab my phone, and go walking.

The walk is quiet…eerily silent, I stop in at the library and try to find a book that interests me, I literally have all the time in the world, so why does none of these interest me? I wish I could explain it, or at least talk with someone about it. They'd never believe me, "What do you mean that you had no desire to do anything when you had all the time?", They'd ask.

The Library didn't help, and walking through the forest feels wrong, so I head back to my room. I reopen my draft of a story and sit, watching it for a bit as if expecting it to write itself, but it never does, obviously. I reread the last chapter time and time again, trying to gather up the motivation in order to continue writing, but it comes oh so slowly.

Eventually I am able to write down a good 500 words, before tabbing to something else, a single-player game that keeps my interest for a few hours in the past, but before I can even press play, I feel a pit in my stomach. I get back up and head down to kitchen, making myself a cup of coffee out of a desire to taste something, not because I really needed it.

The coffee tastes….wrong, not bad, but it doesn't hit quite right. Did I use the wrong roast? Maybe I should look into that.

A week passes, and I still haven't gotten much work done, another 200 words here, 50 words there, it's agonizingly slow to find motivation and inspiration, my room has practically become a prison due to my best efforts to get myself to write.

In that week I've done several small things, learned more about the roasting process for coffee, picked up a good 20 new books that I may never read, even started to learn how to draw. I'm not very good at it, but hey, it's something.

Before I know it, 3 months have passed without any contact with anyone else, my book got a few new chapters in it, I've finally done that technology post for the fictional world I'm working on. Everything just feels dull. I have all the time in the world, yet I'm barely getting anything done. It's infuriating.

Maybe having too much time, is just the same as having too little. Maybe whatever higher power granted my wish wanted me to learn a lesson.

Maybe I'm just broken.

[dairogo]

20 Questions for the Writer

Tagged by @griseldabanks ^_^

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

Only 18 :O I have a bunch on fanfiction.net that I never transferred over, but they're all an extra 10 or so years older than the Ao3 ones so ... there's some disparity of quality, partly in the writing but also very much in the content present.

2. What is your total Ao3 word count?

168,935

3. What fandoms do you write for?

FMA! I had other things when I was younger, but FMA bit and it's the one that stuck with me.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Bed Too Small (Mustang POV, same bed trope, tongue-in-cheek)

Wayward Youth (Hawkeye POV, learning about crushes and affection from the girls at her boarding school while seeking her father's attention)

Order 3066 (Hawkeye and Mustang POVs alternating, Ishval fic about being broken and coming out of it [still broken, but moving])

Partiality (Mustang POV, post-canon, broaching the topic of a relationship)

The Next Step (shifting POV, written soon after giving birth to my youngest and in a bit of a family-related haze. Mostly fluff.)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I certainly try to! I might have missed some along the way, but I usually get there!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hurrrghgh, one from my ff.net days: The Manga-ka Has Her Reasons. It was basically saying, hey, they can't get together guys - things will go bad if they do. And so it ended with them both dead.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'd say The Next Step, because it's just fluffy and lovely :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. The last time I remember feeling taken aback by a comment it was over a decade ago and it was someone rightly pointing out a factual error I'd made. The FMA community I've found myself in is largely positive, and I don't know if that's about the FMA community in general, or that the stuff I write appeals to people who are just cool about community instead of looking to be jerks. Whatever the reason, I'm very grateful!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nah

10. Do you write crossovers?

I've got a half written FMA/HP crossover that I started in like 2005, resurrected a few years ago, and then haven't touched for the last year and a half. Sigh. It's probably going to be stuck in my brain forever.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a fic

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Royai for suuuuure <3 I'm so big on romance as a side-plot, and if that's not the perfect way to explain their relationship I don't know what is. Like, FMA aside, their own personal story is that romance is their side-plot, not their main thing.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Wayward Youth! I have a few really rough drafts of later chapters that need to be edited, but I still haven't written all the way to the end and I'm happily working on another project with all the time/headspace I have, so I don't want to interrupt that flow. But I'm hoping to slowly accrue the last of it, then go through and make it presentable and post it one day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I can write fairly clear action. And I like putting together a lot of threads to tug on as I go - not all big plot things necessarily, but just things that repeat again later to add an extra layer.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't know. I feel like I can write in a very blunt way sometimes, so I have to be intentional about adding in colour and emotion - that doesn't always come through on the first try.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I wouldn't do this to show to a native speaker, oh boy oh boy nosirree! Currently reading a book on English idioms and my main thought as I looked at it today is that this is exactly why I'll never consider myself fluent in other languages.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

In year 5 we had to co-write a story and my best friend and I basically wrote an AU of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Look, it depends on my mood. If I want something light and short, I can't go past Desperately Hoping He Didn't Look Like an Idiot (modern AU, Royai without angst). But I'm probably proudest of Order 3066, because it took a lot of work and a lot of emotional catharsis to get through that and I ended up with a bit of a deadline for when I had to finish it up and made it! So I feel good about it.

Tagging @scienceoftheidiot and @fullmetalscullyy if you're interested :)

[raeofalbion]

Fic Ask Meme:

Because it’s one of my go to favs: Shatter Albion Series.

Is there any scene that you cut from the main story that you wish you could go back to add? (Or alternatively, tell us about a cut scene that you wish you could have included)

( meme ) -- Thank you! :D <3 And thank you for reading! <3 I'm so glad you like the series.

Y'know, it's funny, cuz this is exactly why I rewrote MoI back in...my goodness, was it 2016? (Surely not that long ago??) There were just so many scenes that needed elaborating and missing bits that needed to be added and it felt necessary to do that before continuing on with the series.

But yes! There are still some I cut and either would like to add back in or might repurpose for later. (Sorry, this is long.)

From MoI:

The first time Victoria and Reaver sleep together. I've tried to write this so many times and it just...doesn't ever work out the way I'm picturing it. There's like...half a dozen-ish cut drafts in a document somewhere. Maybe one day I'll make it work.

The original, hand-written draft of MoI included a scene with Logan questioning Ben after Victoria disappears from Reaver's house, suspicious about why his sister's suddenly not writing him. In the end, it was cut cuz it didn't really make sense to have him go to Ben to find out if Victoria had somehow contacted him, but I still kinda like the idea.

Continuing along the Victoria-running-away track: there's a couple little outlines somewhere for a follow up to the scene where she decides to leave, showing how she got out of Reaver's house. One of them involved her actually shooting Reaver with his own gun; the other involved Reaver essentially stalking her through the house, not interacting or trying to stop her but watching her all the while. In the end, I couldn't make up my mind and I felt like nothing I wrote there would be 100% satisfying to readers, so I chose to scrap both ideas. Not sure if that was the right decision, tbh.

There was a scene before the wedding with Walter and Jasper playing cards in the original draft. Tonally, it didn't work, but I still like it.

There was a scene where Reaver sort of...playfully faux-crowned Victoria in the castle? He's being an ass and very sarcastic about it, and Victoria hates the entire thing, but it was supposed to lead to them having semi-public sex. ...which is also the reason it got cut. What smut I'd written was just...not good. And I never really had the will (no pun intended) to rewrite it, so I scrapped it.

An early on scene where Reaver and Victoria get into a proper row after she walks in on him with one of his...uh...friends. I actually had to check and make sure I didn't add this one back in and I'm not sure why I didn't. Reaver yelling at her about them "pretending to play house" and about how he was never going to choose Victoria above his own interests would've been very 👀👀👀 given how things turn out.

Not something I actually cut, but, if I were to do another rewrite, I'd like to add some more Logan scenes, just for the tragedy angle.

From DoV:

Cut one of the mystery dreams (well, I guess now that we're near the end of Blackout I can just say it: one of the dreams she shares with Scythe, where he's trying to contact her) cuz it was too repetitive.

A couple tiny (very tiny!) scenes with Faraday. Just chatting with him. In hindsight, they were unnecessary to cut.

I've talked about this one before, but the original scene where Victoria and Reaver talk about their relationship was cut and rewritten. Originally, Reaver was going to confess his feelings for her there. But it didn't fee organic and didn't really work and it kinda just pissed off Victoria worse. So instead the scene is -gestures to the story- but the line about the singing fish is as close to confessing as Reaver can get himself at that point.

From Blackout:

Technically the entire first draft was cut because my pc ate it, so I'm sure there's a lot of things on there I would like to add back in. T-T

Cut some flashbacks with the Crawler just for length, nothing really plot relevant, though. (I may come to regret this.)

Also cut some really stupid jokes of Reaver's. (I do not regret this.)

Cut a lot of political stuff that will affect the next story, and I...have begun to suspect this will come to bite me in the ass because a couple things were much more relevant than I thought they'd be. :S SO. I don't know what I'll do about that yet.

The next chapter has a rather large chunk from it that was cut and is in the process of being rewritten. Basically: Reaver and Victoria being horny now that they're reunited. It doesn't fit, tonally or pacing-wise, but I am a little sad y'all won't get to read Scythe interrupting them and Reaver complaining under his breath about not getting off. Maybe I'll turn it into a oneshot.

+ Bonus!

Technically there's an entire story I've cut from Shattered Albion (set between DoV and Blackout) about Reaver and Faraday investigating one of the DLCs together. I would really like to add it, cuz I think it would set up some things for the final book and I think it's fun, but I'm not sure if anyone actually would want to read it.

[aaronstveit]

20 questions for 20 writers!

tagged by the bestie @afaramir abby thank you so much for giving me an excuse to avoid writing tonight <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 45!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 492,078 and literally a solid quarter of that is from c&b oh i'm laughing.

3. What fandoms do you write for? right now only for les mis but most of my works are trc and in 2019/2020 i wrote a bit for soc and aftg.....

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? oh i'm laughing these aren't even GOOD.... 1. [redacted soc fic] 2. makes me feel a little bit closer to you - pynch clothes sharing fic 3. c&b (my most beloved this is the only valid entry on this list) 4. i ain't gotta tell him (i think he knows) - pynch ithk songfic 5. all the time, all the time (i think of you all the time) - pynch fic where ronan is tutoring adam in art

5. Do you respond to comments? mostly yes! for like a solid 2 years i didn't but now i do again <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ummm i think the only actually angsty ending i have is all too well adansey fic? i'm such a happy ending girlie that's the only one i can think of that doesn't end happily. for obvious reasons.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i like to think pretty much everything i write ends happily but c&b proposal fic is what comes to mind since i finally finished it THREE ENTIRE YEARS LATER very recently

8. Do you get hate on fics? no i have been very lucky so far actually!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? no because i am afraid

10. Do you write crossovers? i do not!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope not yet!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? only the theoretical AUs that coco and i like to talk about but never commit to writing <3 although really you could consider coco my cowriter on most of my fics (especially c&b) like so much of them comes from her fr. love you coco <3333

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? oh i can't pick. that's like asking a mother to pick her favorite child. right now those dead gay french revolutionaries have my heart but tomorrow, who knows?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ugh i hate admitting defeat but. but. i am aware that beloved beloved pynch band fic will probably never be finished. which is a SHAME because i have soooooooo much of it planned out i mean like. i've got full albums designed. most of the beats are mapped out. i've got fake tweets written up, i've got chapter titles and scene drafts. like the entire concept is there and i'm so obsessed with it. but i just. after all these years it is extremely unlikely that i am going to actually, you know. write it.

16. What are your writing strengths? beginnings. i am so good at beginnings. that's why i have so many wips. also i like to think i'm good at dialogue. i try to write conversationally even when it's not actually a conversation and i think that translates well to actual dialogue it's fun.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? endings. i can't end anything to save my LIFE. also just plots in general escape me. and i always end up writing 10k more words than i meant to.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? um other people who can do it definitely should! i however cannot do that. i did however use my extremely limited knowledge of the french language for the section headings in my most recent fic and i like the effect it produced i think.

19. First fandom you wrote for? all evidence of their existence has been wiped from the face of the earth but my very first fics were one star wars fic and one agents of shield fic circa like. 2015.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? legally i'm obligated to say c&b but right now actually i'm still very very happy with how exr rooftop fic turned out. literally the entire time i was writing it i was just having a blast. i love writing angst and stuff it's like chewing on a polly pocket toy. now that i'm evil i never wanna write fluff again. i'm torturing those fictional guys fr.

tagging besties @television-bodies @gingerpeachtea and anyone else who wants to do it! ♡

[amidstnamjin-and-binchanlix]

i don't wanna look at anything else (now that i saw you)

Warnings: Uhhh. Not much. Just some v v light angst, and Jackjack being a teeny tiny bit of a dumbass lil shit. Mentions of alcohol and getting drunk fuk yeah no don't do too much alcohol, kids. body and image insecurities, too.

Pairings: Jackson Wang/Reader

Plot: In another lifetime, another universe, your happy ending has always been in front of you all along.

Genre: light angst, eventual happy ending

And I can still see it all (In my mind)

All of you, all of me (Intertwined)

I once believed love would be (Black and white)

But it's golden (Golden)

And I can still see it all (In my head)

Back and forth from New York (Sneaking in your bed)

I once believed love would be (Burning red)

But it's golden

Like daylight, like daylight

Like daylight, daylight

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

(I can never look away)

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

(Things will never be the same)

I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night

(Now I'm wide awake)

mixtape: all i have left to give - part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - ending 1

Oooooooohhhhweeeeeee

This is crazy

So much has happened since I last posted.

i got psychiatric help so guess who's on meds now? yay (not)

i mentioned here before that when I write the mixtape series, it's not necessarily in chronological order. I already have a rough draft in my mind of how it would go, and I am already planning to write the prequel to the first part, but it won't necessarily mean that it will come first. I also have an idea of what will happen for the ending(s?), but I have yet to muster the energy to write continuously right now bc so much has happened irl

With that being said, my next part will be a glimpse of one of the "what-if" endings. If it irks you that my writings are all over the place, I'm so sorry but I rly cant force my brain to write at one linear pace. As I always say, I hope I don't disappoint, and I'm so sorry if I do.

Thank you so much for loving my babies and for giving them the time of the day. Every time I get a notification of likes/reblogs/kudos/bookmarks, it warms my heart bc wtf it is more than I ever hoped for

thank you so much once again! this part is for those who are rooting for my babie jackjack because hey, he's a fuckin sweetheart and i love him to bits

just a little trigger warning for some insecurities because this is kinda self-projecting, i'm so sorry T_T

🌅

Soft morning light greets you when you open your eyes.

You've always relished in these times—the seconds or minutes of blank bliss and silence in between waking up and lucidity. These are times of peace before facing the storm of the day.

You stare at the ceiling of the room, the cream-colored walls, then the photos that line up your drawers.

So much has happened these past few months. Sometimes, you still can't believe that you've survived through it, that you powered through it. You genuinely thought it would end up killing you, and that you'd die hurting inside out.

But you lived, and you're happy now.

You turn your head to the side to find him, still slumbering. You take a deep breath and dig your fingers into your palm, afraid that this will all be a dream, and that you'll wake up with sweat on your forehead and blood on your lips and sheets.

You honestly would never have made it without him.

The one and only constant in your life, your ride-or-die.

Jackson.

He had been there through everything—the treatments, the hospitalizations, the relapses, and the recovery. He was there to see you fall apart at 3 a.m., see you struggle with breathing at random times of the day, there to see you bleed out from the love you had (have) for the other men who were supposed to love you back unconditionally.

He was there through everything, and he never once let go of your hand.

Sometimes, you think how it would be if you ended up with them; what would happen? Would you be happier? How would it be different from how it is right now?

But then, you think, they never loved you the way you wished to, the way they should've until you were on the brink of death. There would be too much resentment, too much guilt, too much pain. You would never be truly happy.

You feel guilty thinking about these things. You are genuinely happy— happier even—than you've ever been. Jackson never made you feel like you have to be someone else, like you have to live up to someone's high expectations. You never have to cry again, except when he goes on tour and you miss him, or when you're so happy with him that tears just can't help but make confetti in your eyes.

But then, you and Jackson both know that it is inevitable, that the love for the seven men who were once the center of your soul would never really go away. And he's okay with it, you're both okay with it. You've both made peace that they will always be a part of your life. All that matters is Jackson is your home now, that he's the one that you'll come home to. He's the one that you will make a space for in your heart, and the only one that will occupy it and stay for good.

Jackson is home, and he always will be.

You reach out and carefully brush Jackson's hair away from his still-closed eyes. Moments like this you miss the most when he's away on tour and you can't go with him. It gets lonely, but his coming home with the biggest and proudest smile on his face makes everything worth it.

He is worth it, and he always will be.

You scoot closer to his sleeping figure, wrapping your arm around his waist. Februaries are always cold, so his body warmth is heaven-sent. It is also one of the things you miss during times apart. You grew up in a non-affectionate household, touch-starved to the point that you became touch- repulsed. But after getting to know how Jackson feels like home, you can never get enough of his touch. You can never go for too long without it, and you can say you almost reverted to being touch-starved.

You shift to wrap yourself around him, slinging your leg lightly over his. You hear him groan as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, trying not to miss him already. You still have two weeks left before he leaves again for his next tour, but you can already feel the creeping sadness and pit in your stomach.

You're getting separation anxiety again. Maybe it's time to talk to your therapist.

Your fingers find themselves curled on his arms lightly, tracing shapes and absently doodling on his skin. 

"You're up early," comes Jackson's sleep-laden voice, his arms wrapping around your shoulders.

"'m not up yet," you grumble, subtly inhaling the scent of his skin. "And it's already seven AM; not early."

Jackson chuckles. "Okay, okay. No need to get pouty."

You huff. "I'm not pouty," an irony as you can actually feel yourself pout more when he says that. "It's really just not early."

It is early, you actually know it. But you want to spend more time with him before he sets off to wow the whole world again while you stay behind and wait for him to come home, so no, it's not really early.

You feel him kiss your hair. "Ah. I'm still here, but you already miss me." He laughs lightly. "What would you do without me?"

You know it's a joke, but your abandonment issues have been seriously acting up for a while now. You have to swallow before answering.

"I'd die without you," you blink rapidly to stop yourself from crying, trying to keep your tone light. "Terribly, so."

"Hey," Jackson tries to push your shoulder gently to look at your face, but you don't want him to see your crumpled expression.

"Hey, don't cry. It's too early for you to cry." You sniff, not wanting to let go of him. "I'm joking. You can never get rid of me at this point."

"But you can get rid of me," you fail to not sound miserable. "You can find someone else and settle down with them, someone whole."

A pause.

"Someone not broken."

"No." This time, Jackson's tone is firm, almost angry. "I don't like you talking about yourself like this, and I won't get rid of you. Is that what you think of me?"

"No, but you—"

"'But I ' nothing '," he says. He sits you both up and he puts his hands on your shoulders. "I fought nail and tooth just so I can have my happy ending with you. I fought with the law, I fought your soulmates, and I will fight all over again just so I can have this until we grow old and wrinkly. Why would I get rid of someone I've wanted my whole life? That's fucking stupid."

Your lips curl in a slight pout, trembling with all the tears that want to escape. You absently touch your chest, used to the phantom pain that came with the soul-scraping before. It's gone now, but all the things you used to do, used to go through, as well as the painful memories are still here.

"I..." You start, voice hoarse. "Sorry, I just don't want a repeat of that, you know?"

"I know."

"And I know you're not like them, but there are so many reasons things don't work out. And not to be dramatic or what—erm—," you clear your throat, "but I won't survive the next time I go through that again." Not if everything goes into plan, that next step you are planning with him. "It'll kill me."

You won't survive another soul-scraping, you just won't.

"You won't. I won't leave, I promise." Jackson presses a tender kiss on your lips, running his thumb on your cheek as he cradles it gently. "As I said, we'll grow old and wrinkly. We'll be that meme on Facebook where we grow old together and play bump cars with wheelchairs."

You snort softly. "If you damage my rhetorical wheelchair, I'm using yours. You crawl on the ground."

He grins, a lovely sight on his pretty face. "I'll always crawl my way back to you," he croons.

Jackson leans in and captures your lips in a gentle kiss. His hand finds its way inside your top and you flinch unintentionally. He tenses, then pulls away.

"I'm sorry," you hurriedly say.

"Hey," he says, eyes searching your face. "No need to apologize. I'm sorry. We don't need to do anything you don't want to."

"No, no. I want to." You pause, biting your lip. "It's just... my scar." You absently trace your myectomy scar. He looks at you, willing you to go on. "It's ugly." Among all other things.

"You will never be ugly." You open your mouth to retort but he silences you with a serious look. "I love you, scars and all. But as I said, we don't have to do anything. I just want to spend my time with you, and I'm good."

God, you think, I really think I'll marry you.

You surge up with a fierce kiss to his lips, taking your top off before you can change your mind.

"Wait, wait." Jackson puts his hand on yours, stopping you from taking your shirt off. "No."

"No?" You swallow thickly.

"No, not like that," he says hurriedly, seeing your mood shift. "Is it a good day?"

You know what he means, and it is not.

"No," you agree in a small voice. "It isn't."

You've gotten far from your insecurities, but they sometimes come back sneakily, like they did yesterday and today, of all days.

"We can keep your shirt on if you'd like?" he offers.

You take one look at him. Yup, you'll definitely marry him.

"Please?" You implore with your eyes.

He smiles softly. "Then we keep your shirt on."

His smile turns wicked.

"Won't stop me from eating you out from under it, though."

---

"Mark!"

"No," Mark says flatly. "You're not backing out of this."

"But—"

"Do you love him?" he asks.

"Yes!"

"Do you want to marry his ugly face?"

"He's not ugly, but yes!"

"Do you want to spend your lifetime kissing his ugly face?"

"Again, my Jackson is not ugly, but yes, I do!"

"Did you change your mind then?"

"Y—no, I did not!"

"Then why are you backing out?!"

"Because what if he doesn't want to?" [Name] bursts out to which Mark snorts impatiently. "What if doesn't want that for life? That's a lifetime of commitment, Mark. I can't undo that shit."

"You think he would want to?" Mark asks, almost angry, his patience growing thin. He rolls his eyes to heaven when he sees you in near tears.

"He wants to marry your equally ugly face," to which you splutter a 'hey!', "he talks, breathes, and sleeps nothing but [Name], [Name], [Name]." He sighs.

"Do you really think he would let go of you now?"

You know at this point that your fear is redundant and irrational, but you can't help it. Not when your own (ex-)soulmates didn't want you. It took you almost dying, and choosing your dignity and self-respect before they turned around. And even then, it was too late. Your soul is having none of it.

Mark softens at your silence. "Did you talk to your therapist about this?"

You nod. "Yeah. He said that I should start forgiving myself and moving forward and that I should believe that not everyone is like them. Not everyone will leave me."

"He's right. We won't leave you. We're stuck with you, just like how you're stuck with us. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay, good. Now, give me my hug because I just got from a long tiring flight because someone didn't want me to ride her private jet." He glares at you.

You laugh. "I told you, I need to fly here earlier than you since you can't cancel your meeting."

"You could've—I don't know—waited for me, maybe?" He pulls you in a tight hug.

Before you two can pull away, however, you both hear the sounds of Jackson's voice and the door opening.

Oh, shit.

You two freeze on your hug. You don't understand why you did but you just feel guilty, like being caught with your hand down your pants. You and Mark pull away from each other quickly.

"What's this? Hugging without me, huh?" Jackson jokes, but you can hear the slight insinuation in his voice, one that Mark does as well.

"Yeah, I'm stealing your girlfriend, Wang. Watch out." Mark smirks lightheartedly.

This bitch!

Jackson's eyebrow twitches. "You wish." They embrace in a brief hug before he turns to you with a soft smile on his pretty face.

Wow. Years in and you still can't get your heart to shut up over his smile.

"Hey," he says softly. "This is a very nice surprise."

"I missed you and the bed was cold," you pout slightly. "So here I am."

"Ah, I knew it. You just want a bed warmer." In the background, you can hear Mark fake gag, and Jackson gives him the finger.

"No, I want my Jackson not an electric blankie, smartass."

"Your Jackson, huh?" Mark fake gags again, and you smile at Jackson's 'fuck off, Tuan'.

"This is not what I signed up for, so I'm leaving you lovebirds to it."

"About time." This time, it's Jackson who grumbles, and you and Mark both laugh. "Shut up."

---

The next few days of the tour see Jackson busier than ever, and so are you. With the tour coming to its end, you scramble to get the last steps of your surprise into place. After all, Jackson deserves the best, and you don't want to give him any less.

This also means that you both get to see less of each other. You miss him and it sucks, and Jackson sometimes gets to receive the burnt of it, unfortunately.

"Hey. It's okay, everything's going to be okay," he says. You are so close to bursting and just saying fuck it, but you can't, so you let out a frustrated growl.

"It is not, stop saying that again and again." It is not. The local producer and local venue producer are being tough nuts to crack for some unknown reason, and are uncooperative. They are the only remaining people you need in on the plan, so it is taking too much time and effort on your part. Not that Jackson is not worth it, but the headache is just a bitch to deal with. "It really isn't so I ask you to kindly fuck off, Jackson. I don't need you patronizing me right now."

"Hey," he says firmly, his jaw heavy set. "I'm not doing anything, so don't take your shit out on me."

Ah, shit.

"Jacks—"

"Is it because I'm taking much of your time?"

"What?"

"Is it because I'm taking your time away to be with Mark?"

Your jaw drops. "Excuse me?"

"You think I don't see how you spend your time with him? How close you two seem to be nowadays?"

Aw, hell no.

"Jackson, no. What the fuck?"

"No, no. It's okay. You don't need to explain, you know? If you want to be with Mark-hyung, it's fine. I'm not gonna stand in the way."

"What are you talking about? Are you saying I'm cheating on you?" you ask in disbelief.

Jackson shakes his head. "I'm saying that if you want to be with him, you don't need to start picking fights just so we can break up." His eyes turn sad. "I'll let you go, you just have to ask."

Your chest hurts at that, stirring up old feelings you thought you'd never be able to feel again. "And you're gonna let me go, just like that?"

Silence.

You laugh humorlessly. "Wow. And you think of me that way, too."

"[Name]—"

"No." You thank whatever fuck there is that you had the foresight to book a separate room to plan your surprise (not that you sleep in it, with you opting to always sleep beside Jackson since arriving) and take your bag from the chair by the window of the suite.

"Thank you for clearing that shit up. At least I know now where I stand."

Jackson grasps your wrist delicately. "Sweetheart—"

You pull your wrist away from him. "Don't 'sweetheart' me, Jackson." He stops at the sight of the brimming tears in your eyes, the hurt painted in it.

"I trusted you with shit, you knew how I abhor those things you accuse me of. You knew how I hated my mom because of the things she did, and yet you dared think I am like her."

"I didn't—"

"Yes, you did, Jackson. Because if you only knew how full I am of you since the day I let those bastards go from my life." You sniff. "It's only and always been you, you, and you. Everyone knew that; everyone knows that."

"I don't—"

"Yeah, you don't. So I'll spare you the time and just leave you be. I never plan to force myself into something or someone, and I don't plan to start now."

Jackson tries to refute that it isn't the case, but you slam the door shut in his face behind you before he can even get a word in.

[ah, these kids. what do i do with you two?]

Jackson looks at the door you just slammed shut in his face, then to the dresser in his suite that you never opened. You two had always been intertwined, but you always gave him his space and privacy. He walks towards it, opens it, and takes the velvet box with the sparkling ring in it.

All I can say is you two are idiots, and everyone will agree with me.

---

"You what?!"

You grumble, shielding your bottle away from Mark. "Please don't shout at me, I'm already having a hard time as it is." You try to pull off your pitiful face, but Mark only makes his own face at you.

To be fair, Mark finds you pitiful, but not in that way. And he kind of wants to punch Jackson in the face right now too because seriously, you and Mark? It's like him and his sisters, what the actual fuck?

He can't blame the man, however. Everyone in the circle knows how Jackson has been wounded by the relationships he was in before, so it's easier for him to switch to defense mode. Jackson has always been prone to leave before he gets left when he feels like the other party is slowly losing interest.

But the dumbass has always been prone to the dumbest dumbassery in the group. And this? This takes the cake, Mark could roll his eyes to heaven.

"And you didn't bother to, I don't know, explain shit to him?" he asks with the patience of a saint.

You pout. You had the audacity to pout and Mark feels the patience slowly slipping away from him. "No. It's not gonna be a surprise anymore if I do."

Holy fuck.

"Are you shitting my dick right now?" he mutters. You only snort and Mark pulls away the bottle from you.

"Hey!"

"Listen to me. It's not gonna be a surprise anymore if you two break up because there'll be no one to surprise. You know he is a dumbass and you decided to be a dumbass too?"

"Hey! He accused me first! I didn't accuse him anything when he shot that sexy ass shoot with the ashes and stuff—"

"—Cruel." Mark supplies helpfully.

"Yes, that. I didn't do that with the main dancer when they've been cute and friendly and shit off cam, and yet he accuses me with you." You belch and gag, and Mark steps away slightly from you to avoid any impending projectile vomiting. "Like 'ew'."

"I agree with you, but how dare you, bitch? Are you saying I'm 'ew'?"

You level him with a look as much as you can with your drunk face, and Mark has never had the urge to headlock a woman before.

"Anyway," you say forlornly, "at least I know where we stand now." You sniff, and Mark feels bad for you (a little).

"No, you really don't. I thought that by now, you would know how he is."

"You weren't there when he said it!" You burst out angrily. "He means it! Do you know how it feels standing there and being practically told that he knows I'll leave him for other people, and that he'll let me?" You burp loudly again. "Me, of all people? When he knew how I detest that shit. With all the things I went through?"

And then you burst into ugly sobs.

[ah, jackson. you really are one dumbass.]

"Hey, hey, no," Mark says, wrapping his arms around you. "Don't cry. You're not allowed to cry. Doctor Im told you you're still healing; you're not even allowed to drink."

"Yet here I am," you say with a shaky laugh that morphs into another sob. "Again."

You're not sure if you're just talking about drinking or the fact that you're on the brink of losing yourself again over lost relationships. It's tiring, really. But it is what it is, as they say.

"Can you—can you please get my bag?" you ask Mark. "By the door, tossed it earlier," you slur.

You've never really shown Mark the ring you want to propose to Jackson with. Mark assumed that it is flashy, and you're never one for flashy things, so you're embarrassed about it.

That's not it, however. Completely the opposite, actually. The engagement ring is totally simple, a silver band encrusted with small diamonds on top. The only flashy thing about it is the bigger diamond heart in the center and the smaller gems that surround it on both sides.

The smaller gems are the highlights, you think. You took them from the necklace with both the birthstones that were gifted by Jackson to you during your first year anniversary and had them cut delicately to fit the ring you had in mind. On the right heart side are your birthstones, while on the left are Jackson's. You know some might find it too feminine, and Jackson might not be able to wear it that much in his line of work, but the ring is the most beautiful thing you have ever created in your life.

And now, Jackson won't be able to see it. That thought brings you to a fresh round of tears.

"Too girly, isn't it?" You ask Mark, who is silent. "And it should be the other way around—he should be the one asking me to marry him. I still would've asked him to marry me with this, Mark. That's how I don't give a shit. I just wanna marry his ugly face, but now I can't."

"You wanna marry me?" Comes a soft voice behind you and Mark. You jerk away, and Mark gently unwraps his arms around you as Jackson steps forward.

"I'll let you lovebirds talk," Mark says as he pulls away, but your wide eyes (as wide as bloodshot eyes can be) are only trained on Jackson. Mark pats Jackson's shoulder with a low 'we'll talk later', and Jackson only nods. It is silent until Mark closes the door behind him.

"You wanna marry me?" Jackson asks again. "You're gonna ask to marry me, [Name]?"

You can only nod, your eyes shut as your tears don't stop falling.

"Stay here," he only says. It's not like you're going anywhere, so you stay put. However, when five minutes turn to fifteen, then to twenty, you start to think that Jackson has either gone to sleep or gone off to god knows where. Before you can even think about getting up and running after him, the door to your suite opens.

"Come here, stand up." Jackson takes your hand and helps you stand up. He wipes your face with his hand, then with the cold cloth that someone hands him (whom you recognize is one of his staff). Other staff start to fuss over you as someone turns on the overhead lights.

"Wait, what?" you ask as someone starts to powder your face. "What's happening?"

You turn to Jackson, who's being ushered into a suit. You are ushered yourself by the few staff he had roped into helping into the other room to change into a tulle sweetheart dress.

"We're getting married."

---

"So, Jackson..." You hear the host through the speakers start his next question as you wait backstage with Mark. Even with the elopement, you're still going through with your plan.

That other plan.

"No," Mark says flatly. "You're not backing out of this."

Here we go again, but this time, Mark is a little less pissed and more exhausted with your shenanigans.

"No, I'm just saying. Maybe I should do this in private instead? This is the equivalent of putting a girl on the spot with marriage proposals, which, for the record, I absolutely detest because fuck having choice and not cornering them into whatever they want, right?"

"While I do agree with you, he'll pee his pants and probably hump you if you do this than to be put off, trust me," Mark says. "And besides, everything is ready. All it needs is the execution."

Mark has a point.

Before you can wimp out again, you hear your name being called to an uproar of cheers. You're lucky Jackson's fanbase is mostly supportive of your relationship since you two came out a few years ago, though it is not without some minor hiccups and a few outrage from the unsupportive ones. What matters however is you lucked out, and you can never be more grateful.

"[Name] [Last Name], ladies and gentlemen!" You hear the host say as you see Jackson's blinding grin when you step out from the backstage.

Oh, you swoon. My smitten darling [Name].

Steady, girl.

"So, Miss [Last Name]—"

"It's Mrs. Wang, actually." You hear gasps from the audience, and Jackson's blinding grin turns lovelier and wider. "We actually got married in secret, and you forgot this at home." You hand him his ring as you grin mischievously.

"Okay, Peeta Mellark." Jackson rolls his eyes good-naturedly as he slips on his ring. "What a way to break it to them."

"My, my." The host fans himself with a wide smile. "Is this what you meant when you told me you'll be getting me a high rating?"

"I hope so," you say sheepishly. "If it doesn't, then no worries. I still have another trick in my hat. Don't you worry."

You look at Jackson and can't help but laugh inwardly at his clueless smile.

Oh, dear.

The interview goes without a hitch, with it mostly centered on your married life. You were originally nervous about how it would turn out, but it had been so far so good. Nobody threw shoes, and all that happened was a little 'booooo' when asked if you had had your honeymoon yet (which not yet, because you were both busy for a while after his tour).

"So, [Name]," the host asks again with a little waggle of his eyebrows. "What is this other trick of yours you mentioned earlier?"

Ah, shit. Here we go.

"Ah." Your smile turns a little serene, and you see Jackson sit up straighter in his seat. Nobody would notice it if they are not in tune with him, but he practically owns your whole soul, and you'd like to think that you do his, too, so you notice it.

"Have I told you my story about my soulmates?"

The host shakes his head. "Pray, do tell."

"Well, not everyone gets lucky with theirs. Everyone knows that." You smile sadly, the audience turning quiet.

"Yes, of course. A very sad fact that everyone is very well acquainted with." The host smiles sympathetically at you.

"I used to think it was the end of the world when mine didn't want anything to do with me. I kept thinking that something was wrong with me, that maybe I was really not worth their time. That maybe I was meant to suffer and die hurting."

You pause, then you look at Jackson. "But then I realize, I have you," you say softly.

You look back at the host.

"What more can I ask for when I have him?"

Your smile turns happier as the audience lets out a quiet 'aww'.

"I really like doing things unconventional and my way so..."

You bite your lower lip as you look once again at Jackson, who has his eyes trained on you and hanging on to every word you say.

"Would you give me the honor of being my forever soulmate, Jackson?"

It was like a time warp. The moment he said yes, cheers erupted, and everything blurred and warped in your ears. All your fears, all the hurt and pain? It was gone.

This is your happy ending, you deserve it, my dear [Name].

Go live it.

---

Meanwhile, somewhere a thousand miles away, a group of young men smile sadly at what could have been, and what was lost. Their chests perpetually ache with the loss of a piece of a soul they can never get back.

[simpingandshitposting]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Two ppl actually tagged me in this so thank you @malewifetouya and @happyely 🖤🖤🖤

Sadly some of my most favorite projects are ones that are still sitting in my drafts unfinished 😭 but out of all the ones I've posted these are the ones I'm most proud of <3

"Come Home" — Deku:

I don't even know if this would be considered a fic?? Cuz honestly this was such a short little thing that I wrote in under like 15 minutes 😭 probably the shortest amount of time it's taken me to ever write literally anything. But it was after I watched S6 E136 and literally that night I had a dream where this whole scene was played out in my head. And it just felt so dramatic in the right ways and just raw emotion that I had to write it down. And it's STILL my most liked post on this entire blog😭 but honestly understandable bc sometimes I go back and read it and I'm just like "damn wait I wrote that????" lmfaoo

"Only for you, Toshi" — Shinsou:

Completely opposite from the last one, this is actually the longest thing I've ever written. (that's posted anyway, there's a few longer still in my drafts) I just feel like Shinsou doesn't get enough love but he definitely deserves it😭❤️ all my friends that read it said they really enjoyed it and I'm just really happy with how it came out after working on it for a couple weeks, and that not touching it for a few months and then coming back to it only to finish it in like 2 days lmao

"Attention" — Dabi:

Now this wouldn't be a post about my fics if I didn't include something for my absolute favorite character in the entire show���� this fic was very self indulgent bc I'm such a brat🤭 and I'm convinced that Dabi is the king of brat taming. Fun fact, the outfit I described is something I literally own in my closet 😂

"Secrets" — BakuDeku x reader [UNFINISHED]:

This is a multi-part series I'm co-writing with my bsf @haru-x-ren on a joint account we made. (@bunny-x-haru if you'd like to follow) it's currently still a work in progress with only a few parts released, but it is a continuation of a 2 part fic I wrote when I first started called "You're the Only Thing That Makes Sense" — Bakugo So I do recommend reading this one first before Secrets for context and background info. I feel like you can really see my growth in writing from then to now, cuz that was like literally the second thing I ever posted lol. And Haru was literally my biggest fan bc he's the one that got me into writing fanfic<3 so after he read it, he had this absolutely BRILLIANT idea (spoiler) to take the scene I wrote where bakugo and deku were caught fighting after school hours (similar to that scene from season....2? When Bakugo learned about OFA) and turn it into a BakuDeku love triangle and I was honestly obsessed with the idea

And lastly

"For Your Eyes Only" — Dabi:

Another one for my fav<3 this one was for his birthday and is very nasty🤭 also with a little bit of fluff at the end bc I am indeed a hopeless romantic with no romance🥲 also, the cover photo is most definitely the reaction I was imagining when he walks into the room lmao

Side Note:

I know it's been a while since I've posted any writing and I am so sorry 😭 I guess I've just been in a little bit of a funk when it comes to my creativity lately. I mean I've got plenty, and I do mean PLENTY of ideas written down, but Im having a hard time executing them and turning them into something I can post. But I promise I'll get back to posting as soon as I can and I'm really sorry to everyone who has been waiting for stuff😭 I appreciate your patience❤️

Here's 5 other writers I recommend<3

@cathwritestragediesnotsins @aquadenks @kemakoshume @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic + any other writers who'd like to make ur own posts<3

[cinematicnomad]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @zainclaw and @andavs 🥰🥰🥰

How many works do you have on ao3? 39 apparently

What's your total ao3 word count? 288,797 words

What fandoms do you write for? actively right now? nothing really lol. haven't published a fic since 2022. but i guess you could say 911 and teen wolf given some random WIPs in my drafts. also i randomly started jotting down some notes for a stranger things steve/eddie fic that will probably never be written.

Top five fics by kudos 01. take my hand (take my everything) (buddie) 02. taste your beating heart (sterek) 03. so show me (family) (buddie) 04. you never said a word (sterek) 05. be careful (my darling) (buddie)

Do you respond to comments? yes, always! i usually try to wait until i have a dozen or so, which can sometimes take a bit of time, but eventually i respond to it all.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i have a sterek drabble called and i fell heavy into your arms (688 words) that is basically derek seeing stiles die and then immediately letting himself be killed

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? most of them?? not sure i can think of one specifically that was happier than the others.

Do you get hate on fics? ah, i almost said no, but then i remembered that for my fic taste your beating heart every now and then i'll get scott fans who think the fic should be tagged as "bad friend scott mccall" even though he's NOT a bad friend in the fic, it's just a nuanced view of their changing relationship. like, that fic is about 3 main things that include: stiles and derek getting together, solving the main mystery, and stiles and scott's friendship maturing to a place where they can love each other and still be brothers without thinking they need to be in the same pack!! like it's FUNDAMENTAL.

anyway, i had one reader who i think quit the fic halfway through bc i gently pushed back on their rage comment insulting derek and stiles for a fight that takes place with scott. the reader left an angry reply to my response, which they then deleted before i could even look at it, and then never commented on the fic again even though they'd been commenting on the fic since chapter 1.

Do you write smut? no not really. i don't know why i'm so bad at writing sex, but i am very bad at writing sex.

Craziest crossover i have no crossovers

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of??

Have you ever had a fic translated? yes, someone translated my mike/harvey suits fic trembling hands into russian all the way back in 2013.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? i have not!

All time favourite ship? to write? to read? no idea, so i refuse to answer.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i've got a sterek idea that's an AU of the netflix show virgin river. i had a pretty brief outline that i sketched out some, and even started writing a little, but it never went anywhere. i did create an AU gifset for it and every now and then when people start reblogging it i think about going back to try and write it.

What are your writing strengths? i think i'm good at realistic dialogue? but i don't know. i haven't written in a while so i'm not feeling super great about my writing at this very moment.

What are your writing weaknesses? i suck at setting a scene. and conveying a complex emotion. also i feel like i get v bogged down in what characters are physically doing or whatever and i try to describe it and it just detracts from the story over all. yikes ok i'm feeling worse about my writing than i thought lol

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? if the context is there to understand what's being said, great. otherwise, just adding context to the dialogue tag (he said in french, in german, etc) works. personally i'd prefer not to scroll back and forth between the fic and the notes to figure out what's being said.

First fandom you wrote in? harry potter. on the site quizilla back in the year of our lord 2005 lol. i started off writing like. a harry/oc fic lol where the protagonist was the classic american exchange student who had her own prophecy. truly mortifying!!

Favorite fic you've written? i have a soft spot for taste your beating heart bc it was the first long fic i ever completed and it took me 7 fucking years to write it. but i think my favorite is actually finding our way (back home) which i really think captured everything i was aiming to do. will i ever be able to do that again??? who fucking knows. probably not. on the more self-indulgent side, i really really love the margaret buckley character study i wrote called so far from who i was.

tagging!! @woodchoc-magnum, @crazyassmurdererwall, @tattooedsiren, @machtaholic, @catdadeddie, @tripleaxeldiaz, @valleydean, @thisapplepielife, and anyone else who wants to do this.

[mareenavee]

Fic Authors Self Rec!

Tagged by the indominable @kookaburra1701! Rules:

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love!

I love this. OKAY LET'S GO. Tell me about how proud you are of your work, friends. You've come so far <3

Tagging: @paraparadigm, @polypolymorph, @changelingsandothernonsense, @thana-topsy, @dirty-bosmer, @thequeenofthewinter, @gilgamish, @archangelsunited, @throughtrialbyfire, @expended-sleeper, @ladytanithia and YOU yes if you see this, talk kindly about your writing journey and TAG ME BACK <3

Below the cut because I do be ramblin' (: They're not really in any particular order, I just love them all for different reasons.

1) If We Knew Anything At All

This one was a hell ship prompted by a list that Topsy shared with a bunch of us and I had a brainwyrm, then ended up crying while I wrote the end of it. Quite possibly one of my favorite ever pieces. This one is both the inevitable end to my fic universe and something completely outside time. How did I manage this? Via Sheogorath's voicing. I don't think it gets more unreliable than that.

2) Metempsychosis

A very dear friend and fantastic teammate I met through Skywind sent me this prompt and it gave me such an excellent challenge not only to flex on weird god voice stuff again, but also to bust out some spoken word poetry tricks. I did end up recording myself reading this one too and it felt like old times. I loved all the layers of references I shoved into 1,000 words. It is also my first Morrowfic. And also one that reminded me what I am capable of even more strongly than some of my other projects did. 🥰

3) Serpens Caput

This one is newer, yes BUT OH MY GODS what a flex it was. ANOTHER Morrowfic but it's set in Ceth's fic universe featuring not only major character death but the mindset of a villain in his final moments. And we get to see Danger!Josh through his eyes. It was WEIRD. WEIRD WEIRD but so much fun. I don't think I've yelled so much about a fic whilst writing before. Ceth threw me this prompt, but I don't think was expecting this to end up...being this way (: Borrowed the description of Teldryn and Nerevar from her universe and just RAN WITH IT.

4) Little Dragon

This was written as part of my cute, happy LDB!Athis polycule AU where nothing is quite as horrifically messy as my main fic universe. It is a different kind of catharsis to write, often fun and humorous and a flex in that direction, since I didn't know what i was capable of—I always write pining and heartbreak lol. This came about as part of a fic writer's duel with AU (judged by Poly) which was honestly one of the coolest fandom experiences I've ever been in. It has become its own thing now with multiple other stories and I've been in yet another fandom duel since then. So it's all cute fuzzy feelings and happy memories and I love it to bits.

and last but certainly not least:

5) The World on Our Shoulders

My longfic which throws characters into extremely tough situations, handles horribly difficult themes and topics, shows people being messy and still finds ways to show it all with grace. It's what got me out of my multi-year writing slump and truly, truly brought me back to myself. So yes maybe some of the characters have some of my irl nonsense. Some scenes are far too relatable and it's a little scary sometimes how horrible that is, but it's a different kind of Catharsis. I love also the support its gotten so far for its specific type of storytelling structure as well as all the weird details that sprawl into other stories (Like my honorable mention written for Para, Recurse) and sequels and spin offs. It's been a great joy to be writing this and it's continued to inspire me. From draft one, which I wrote in challenge mode, posting every day this last February to now, where I am mid-ground-up-edit, I love this project to bits and will do all I can to see it through to the end. I see how much I can accomplish in this project. I see what can be done with common tropes and themes and even Fic in general. It's unalienated labor that I do for the sheer hell of it because I can and it's mine and I don't have to follow The Rules. There's something beautiful about that. It's one reason I get up at the crack of dawn every day -- to write for the sake of writing. Out of spite sometimes for all the ways the world tries to crush this kind of self expression out of us. This is my gem of a project. And I am proud of it and how far I've come since I started it. (:

So now it's your turn, if you got this far. Why do you write? How have your favorite fics you've written changed your perspective on the craft so far?

[effervescentdragon]

It took me ages to find the notif but I know I got tagged by my beloved @antimonyandthyme who is darling dearest dbest and I'm still in the ignoring life phase so here we go <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

80! I have 80 works and 500 msgs in my inbox and I am a bit insane about it.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

535,111. Fuck i didn't know. This is insane.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, F1. I wrote Silm exclusively for a while, but who knows at this point I'll honestly take whatever gets the creativity going.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

piarles montreal date fic, piarles omegaverse porn, piarles doggystyle porn, sebchal where charles wins monaco 22, charlos engineer au. i'm seeing a bit of a pattern here.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, or I try to. I go in and I respond in bulk, or sometimes I respond as I see them because I get so many at once I get overwhelmed. If I don't respond it's because I'm overwhelmed but I love and cherish every single one and I go and reread them when I'm feeling down and sad. Just know that all the comments I get are absolutely the best part of writing. <3333

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

in f1, for me it was that one sebchal tumblr ficlet where they didnt have a happy ending and seb was a bastard, which i can't find bcs i write too much and i hate that one. i think if you go into the tag "another pacific rim au you will find a LOT of angsty endings. oh also, my mean prompts. and any makkinen, i think. they are particularly angsty for me.

in silm... damn. me and azh my beloved literally have an angst-off fic. every silm fic i've written is angsty as fuck. maybe the one where maedhros throws himself into the fiery chasm? or any one with lalwen, including the grief ficlets on tumblr? glorfindel/curufin? oooh. i know. silvergifting. my silvergifting.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

For me? piarles star trek au , piarles pirate au, and sebchal old guard au.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not particularly, not traditional "I hate this". I get entitled comments that are like "will you write more" or "write more" or "i wish you'd do this and this" and i either ignore or block them bcs I do this shit for free and nobody is entitled to it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. I am very good at tender-porn with feelings, or so I've been told.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

AU's. So many AU's. That's my bread and butter. I did do a silm/f1 crossover as I was grappling with my feelings about rpf, but once I crossed the line I never looked back.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! My Simi+ Welcome to Japan got translated wonderfully into Chinese HERE and I'm still soft thinking about it <33333

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I don't think I can do that in the fic. I am playing in @wolfiemcwolferson and @duquesademiel's playground right now, and I do have that silm angst-off fic with my beloved @admirablemonster <3 but I can't write with-with someone.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Steve/Bucky or Kirk/Spock.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Pfffft a million in my drafts? there is so many of them that i started as a way of coping and i dont know really. I still live in hope i'll finish them all.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Emotions? I think I write good emotions. Also, building universes and adapting them in my AU's. Oh, and symbolism. I pack so much symbolism in everything my GODS.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Gahhh. Keeping it to the point. Finishing things. Show-don't-tell.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like doing it tbh, because it gives me the opportunity to remind myself of the languages and I get distracted ith, for example, Russian grammar. However, these days I only do it for like, tearms of endearment and stuff like that, because I'm also very bad at incorporating translations (i forger), so I'm trying not to torture my readers. I love doing it in Silm for that reason exactly, pondering Quenya and Sindarin grammar aaaaa. Can you tell I'm a linguist at heart? xD

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, and it was a self-insert OC my beloved.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Sebchal Old Guard AU and Galadriel character exploration fic.

gonna tag, well, those already tagged above and then @deathicus-sling @fingons-rad-harp @absynthe--minded @blorbocedes @ayceeofspades @saecookie @jean----ralphio @nikosheba @brazilgp @milflewis @jaz-the-bard @ruiniel @goddammitjim @colors-of-feeling

and tbh whoever wants to do it? love you all!

[becauseicantthinkwritings]

Hello ! Sending this because it's been a while since i've done it

I wanted to say a couple of things, first being : I love you 💕💕

I've reread a couple of your work and I wanted to come here to praise you some more, you are one of the only fanfic writers I'm able to read on a regular basis, I love your writing style and the stories you come up with. I love all of your Billys, the nuance between them, I didn't know the Punisher and i've never watched the show, but the way you write him is simply lovely and I can get enough of him

Another thing; have you heard of Bird in a Birdcage and their song "#34" ? The lyrics made me think of Billy right away, it suits him I believe

I hope a bright futur for you, lot of rest and hornyness

Bye bye 💕

-🌧️

Hello!

I started writing an answer to this ask when I first got it, and then I got interrupted and it sort of sat there until now.

My previous draft was about how much I was struggling to cope with life, and how badly my (old) job was a factor in that struggle, and ultimately how grateful I was to receive this ask.

Honestly, this ask was something of a lifeline to have gotten back then, I might have cried over it because someone, somewhere was thinking about me, and if I could just keep going, I might one day end up in a place that isn't so bad.

I'm in that place right now I think. That in between where it's not perfect, but also I'm not struggling like I did before. And I can come back, and have the heart to look at this beautiful ask I started answering but never finished.

I don't know if you're still here, but I love you too. I'm not the writer I once was, but I'm glad that for a moment, I might have made you a bit excited to see my name. Thank you.

I haven't listened to the song, but I will I swear I'll go do it now :)

lots of love <3

[chubsthehamster]

20 questions for fic writers!

tagged by my loves @storybookprincess and @clood! ty for the tag friends!! <333

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

40!

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

310,790

3. What fandoms do you write for?

A slapdash of whatever I'm most interested in atm! I kinda consider hxh fandom my home base, but I also have a number of Sandman, HQ, and Natsume Yuujinchou fics.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

gonna take a leaf out of both liv and claudia's books and skip this one! instead, here are my top 5 personal faves instead of kudos :D these are my most recent favorites haha:

streetlights in the dark blue: gomens, ineffable husbands, 6.9k. my s2 vent fic! about healing and giving crowley a loving community, dammit.

circus freak: hxh, hisoillu, 1.8k. murder husbands! proposals! it's all here folks.

blue roses: yuri on ice, gen, yakov & victor, 2.6k. all my love for victor nikiforov through the eyes of his grumpy coach.

a city of love scenario: hxh, killugon, 5k. I had SO much fun writing this one! set during the greed island arc my beloved. hisoka is there.

Let the River Rush In: hxh, leopika, 18k. my submission for the 2023 hxhbb this year! reunions, pining, you name it. also art museums!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!! sometimes it takes me a second, but I do respond to nearly every comment (unless it's spam).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

definitely dusk, a sandman dreamling fic! MCD isn't usually my thing, but I really wanted to explore that in this fic.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oooh hmm. "happy ending" is super vague to me ngl, but for most traditionally "and they lived happily ever after," I'll go with my soukoku royalty AU, thy kingdom come.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

oooh I've never gotten explicit hate! I've gotten unsolicited concrit and some more bizarre comments that I've ignored before though haha.

9. Do you write smut?

nope! I've written some more suggestive scenes in some of my fics (Let the River Rush In and circus freak, for example), but for the time being at least I'm not really interested in writing it.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes! The Promise of the World, which is a natsuyuu/howl's moving castle crossover, and Letters from Heaven, which is a HQ/Violet Evergarden crossover. Crossovers to me are really fun thought exercises; I like to see how certain events or characters can be interpreted in another canon.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I'm aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've gotten a request to have one translated, but now that I think about it I never got a link to it! so who knoooows haha

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I can't believe I'm saying this, but no! I think I'd like to one day--it seems really fun :D

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

a cruel question! i can't choose one. well, a bit of a lie given by pfp haha, so I'll just say killugon ahdkdjf

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

oooh, i have a kawoshin fic that lives rent free in my drafts and in my mind. i started it maybe 7 years ago? it is, in theory, a semi-canon compliant multiverse fic that combines manga, anime, and reboot movies canon, all centered around kaworu my beloved and his relationship with shinji. maybe one day I'll pick it up again! (I still need to see the last movie...)

16. What are your writing strengths?

ooh! hmm, I'd probably say interiority? love me some good introspection. a lot of my more recent fics especially are just excuses to dive into my faves' heads while something else happens in the background

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

PLOT lmao. most of my plot-heavy fics are crossovers bc they're based on events that are already lined out for me! which gives me more room to explore how my charas act and interact in an established story. surprise, even my plottier fics are really just character studies in disguise >:3 still, I would like to improve on this one day! just need to think of,,,an idea ajsldkfj

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've never done it before, but like with any kind of writing tool, I think it works if you do it right. no bella, where have you been, loca? pfffft

19. First fandom you wrote for?

the first fandom I've ever posted/written for was Free! Iwatobi Swim Club! what a time ahhhsjdflks

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

my favorite fic is almost always the latest thing I've posted LOL, so rn it's streetlights in the dark blue! lovelovelove anthony j. crowley with all my heart <333

this was so fun!! no pressure tagging uhhhh @perexcri @aboxthecolourofheartache @dodici12 @applepi00 @macavitykitsune @feralrookie @silverinerivers @runawaymarbles @three--rings @that-banhus and literally anyone who reads this and wants to do it!

[sparklepool101]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

"Tagged" in @kindlystrawberry's open invitation (who is one of my favorite fic writer ever, seriously PLEASE check her stuff out!) and using this as an excuse to ramble :p

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

66!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

192,170 since 2020!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

A little bit of everything! The top couple that pop up on my profile are Craig of the Creek (21), Project Sekai (14), Rise of the TMNT (5), and Kid Cosmic (5). But honestly? Whatever I'm into at the moment has a good chance at getting a fic. (My notes app is nothing but draft ideas.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sure As Sun Turns to Moon (I'll be With You) (FNAF) - 1,697

I Can't Lose You Again (ROTTMNT) - 847

Another Danganronpa Chatfic >:3c (Danganronpa) - 478

Wish We Could Turn Back Time (Don't Hug Me I'm Scared) - 430

Five Times Casey Moved to a New Cave and One Time that He Moved into a New House (ROTTMNT) - 421

So one of these is not like the others lol. I can explain though. So, top down:

SASTTM got published when Security Breach was super popular and tapped into the public outcry for Freddy being Gregory's dad. It's been sitting unfinished for over a year now at 28k, but I do have plans to finish it! I've cut the draft down a lot to actually make it a feasible writing project now, but I'm not going to publish anymore chapters until it's done. I want to finish it properly because this fic helped me grow so much as a writer and it means a lot to me.

I Can't Lose You Again will get touched on later on, as well as Wish We Could Turn Back Time.

Five Time Casey Moved was a fic that I wrote in a haze after watching season one of ROTTMNT and then the movie. It was published the day after the movie came out iirc and has a really special place in my heart for several reasons <3

And then the chatfic.

I got my fandom start in Danganonpa and in middle school, chatfics are the funniest, coolest things ever. So once I decided to start writing, obviously I had to do my own. It has aged horribly, is horribly written, and honestly should be deleted and never see the light of day again. Or at least be orphaned. But I made myself a promise to never delete my old fics unless they were actually horrific because you know what? Everyone starts somewhere. So it's still up. And one day it will get dethroned from the top kudos list and I will throw a party <3

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I usually respond!! It makes me so giddy to receive even the shortest comments, and I always try to pass on that good feeling <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

So out of my published fics its I’d Make a Deal with God (I’d Get Him to Swap Our Places) which is a ROTTMNT fic I wrote about the movie before it came out to speculate on the future. In it we see both Raph and Donnie get kranged, leaving Leo and Mikey crying in a subway. A friend actually told me to kay why you know what myself because of it (in a very much joking manner) which was SUCH a compliment!!!

Out of everything I've written? There's a half finished ROTTMNT fic in my junior year AP Lang notebook which takes place over one week and ends with Mikey dying which is... really angsty. Like worryingly angsty. It's still an interesting concept that I think could be fun to explore, but even if I do ever finish it idk if it'll see the light of day.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm really not a fan of unhappy endings, even in fics. Hurt is best served with a side of comfort in my opinion, so everything I write ends up being really light and fluffy.

Three fics come to mind as having the happiest *ending* though.

The first is Would You be so Kind (As to Fall in Love with Me?) which is a Craig of the Creek fic entirely focused on two characters realizing that they love each other and that polyamory is an option! It's super sweet and I refuse to believe it's not canon tbh.

The other two are both Project Sekai fics from Tenmay this year, The Royal Summit (Where Friendships Blossom) and Sunbound Promise. They're both fantasy aus where Tsukasa and Toya grow closer, the first being their first meeting and the second where they become brothers. They're both so sweet and self indulgent, the endings make me so happy <3 <3 <3 <3

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I got one comment on SASTTM where someone was bitching about neopronouns which I think counts. But overall people have been really nice and anyone who doesn't jive with the fic just moves on lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope, and I don't know if I ever will. It's just not what I really want to write :p

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Occasionally! None of them have been particularly "crazy", though. I try to keep those things pretty grounded. I have a lot of crossover ideas that don't get written though :p

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but if anyone ever wants to do so you have my full permission! Just shoot me a message somewhere to let me know

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I don't know if I'd be able to either, co-plotting would be fine, I'm doing that with my sibling and a prsk magical girl fic, but writing,,, I couldn't :,)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

There are a lot of ships I love. But for all time favorite, I have to go with the one that I keep going back to read fics for even though I've lost pretty much all other interest in the game: Promptis (Prompto/Noctis from FFXV) I just keep coming back to them.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Where to start with this list.

The main one if probably my Project Sekai fantasy au fic The Eastern Side of Bolganio. It's so special to me, but it's a majorly ambitious project and I've gotten so little response with it that it's hard to write. I'm normally pretty good about not focusing on the numbers when it comes to fics (writing for small random fandoms help, there are some fics that I'm surprised have more than two hits, much less two kudos), but the fact that it's such an ambitious project that I've barely made a dent into... idk

I really want to finish it though </3

16. What are your writing strengths?

idk, people say that my characterization is really good? I saved this one for last to answer but now I'm tired

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm going to try and not be too self deprecating lol.

I'm really bad at describing environments/movement and dialogue at the same time. It's always either White Room Syndrome or a clunky mess. I also suck at titles. I always try to not use song lyrics, but anything that I do always sounds horrible.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I love it when it's done well! I love it when fic authors delve into the heritage of characters and bring in elements of it. I've done it a fair couple of times and always take great care to make sure that the translations aren't too horrific.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

So the first ever fanfiction I wrote was my exceedingly angsty, take on who the other souls in Undertale were before they died.

HOWEVER, I consider the first *fandom* I wrote for to be either Percy Jackson or Danganronpa. My first actual attempt at writing a fanfiction was a Solangelo prompt which I wrote two sentences of before abandoning and the first time I tried to write canon characters in situations, doing things, was it that damned chatfic XD

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ouuuugh we're just going with a list here

I Can't Lose You Again - I told you these would show back up again. Anyways, writing this fic was so fun. I really felt like I knew what I was doing, and apparently I did based off the comments! It's so special to me <3

Wish We Could Turn Back Time - This is my Roman Empire. I haven't updated this fic in years but I think about it everyday. I'm working on cleaning up the outline to be less ambitious so I actually have a chance to finish writing the thing, and I can't wait to finally give it the ending it deserves! It's also actually shaped my life in so many ways <3

After The Dinner Horn and Offscreen; a CotC oneshot collection - Maybe putting a oneshot collection here is cheating but shhhh. This actually is an umbrella title for almost all of my cotc fics (especially on platforms where I can't be bothered to upload them individually unless they're multichaptered). So many of these fics either shaped me as a writer drastically or mean so much to me on a personal level it's WILD. And also a reflection on how much the show means to me I guess? Idk that's enough psychoanalyzing for today.

Coercion Cancellation - This one might be cheating because it's the one I'm currently working on, but shhhhh. It still counts. It's for an indie horror game called Imaginary Friend Asylum ((prequel to The Friends We Left Behind)) which you should check out

Also adding on the two Project Sekai fics from question seven about the happiest ending. They're just so, so self indulgent <3

Tags: I don't have the guts (nor memory) to tag anyone on here, so it's fully an open invite! Hop on over here and ramble your heart out about the things you've written!! I can't wait to read it!!!