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cougheemedicine · 1 year ago

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Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Jing Yuan x GN!Reader

Word count: 2463

Warnings: Nudity, suggestive but nothing explicit (they bathe together), drinking (drink responsively kids), no beta we just die, the impending wrath of Fu Xuan, ooc? I've never written him before, I think that's it?

Content: Fluff, some angst right at the end but all is resolved, established relationship, Reader is a long-living species, Reader is shorter than Jing Yuan, other characters mentioned, they're whipped your honor

Summary: Due to your position in the Xianzhou Luofu's sky-faring commission, you are rarely home. Often gone for months at a time. Your dear husband never copes well with your time apart. He always makes sure to make up for lost time.

˜”*°•.•°*”˜

The ground under your feet slipped away before you knew it. So this is how it ends, this is how you die. Not the worst death one could have, you supposed.

“General-“ A dying wheeze escapes you, “General, I can’t breathe.”

Met only with a huff that sounded more annoyed than agreeing, the crushing weight on your ribcage lessens. If only slightly. Not enough for your feet to touch the ground, but enough for you to wiggle your arms out from where they were pinned to your sides, wrapping them around your husband’s shoulders.

“I’ve missed you,” Low and hoarse, the deep baritone of Jing Yuan’s voice sends a shiver down your spine. You sigh, relenting to your husband’s affections. It had been months since you’d seen each other last. As the fleet-master of the Luofu’s sky-faring commission, one of your most important duties was to craft interstellar maps for all of the Luofu to use. The only way to do that was to go on the missions yourself, which could last between six to nine months.

For the long-living Xhianzhou natives, nine months passed in the blink of an eye. For your beloved, equally as long-living husband? Nine months was torturous. The man laid his head on your shoulder, inhaling deeply. You debated on whether you should drag him back to work to avoid the wrath of Lady Fu Xuan on your doorstep in an hour’s time, or repent and simply bask in the presence of your man. Who was real and tangible, embracing you instead of hushed words through a disembodied voice on the other side of your phone, or a pixelated figure sitting bored at a meeting you had to attend via a live hologram.

As his hand slowly rubbed up and down your back, his other hand supporting you while you still dangled in the air. You found the decision easy to make. You craned your head, pressing your lips to his hairline, right above his ear. “I’ve missed you too, my love,”

But, there was one thing amiss. Even as you felt Jing Yuan smile against the fabric of your shirt. You could also feel the eyes on your back. Both of your crew, and of Luofu citizens. None of the gazes malicious, just a bit invasive. You could also hear the whispers. The giggling and gossiping.

‘The general’s gone soft,’

’Aw, how sweet!’

’How adorable…’

“People are watching, general,” You spoke up, raising a hand to run through the hair that escaped his ponytail, tightening your hold on the back of his neck to keep yourself up. Jing Yuan sighed contently, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “Let them,”

“General, I’d like to bathe, and get out of this armor,” You tugged lightly at his hair, pulling his head from your shoulder so you could look him in the eyes. Any normal person would’ve seen no difference in Jing Yuan’s face, but you were far from normal. After centuries of marriage, you could tell. The curve of his brow, and the pull of his frown. “Stop pouting, general,”

He rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. That tired, easy smile of his. He set you back on the ground, arms wrapped loosely around your waist. “Stop calling me general, then I’ll let you go,”

Despite his words, he still let you go. Stepping to your right and linking his arm with yours. You shared a smile as you walked, leaving the port. “Whatever you say, Jing Yuan.”

˜”*°•.•°*”˜

The sound that leaves your mouth as you sink into the steaming bath water would make even the most stone-faced of war veterans blush. You were never more grateful for the sheer lavishness of the general's residence than when you just return from a mission. The bath of the general's home was better described as a pool. Set in the tile floor, and large enough to fit ten people. The large window on the far wall overlooked the Luofu, saying the whole experience was lavish would be an understatement.

The feel of tar running in your veins instead of blood finally subsiding as the salts and oils in the water sunk into your skin. You rest your arms on the edge of the bath, letting your head lull onto the tile behind you. You don't focus much on anything, eyes scanning the traditional Xianzhou architecture of the bathroom, and letting your limbs, heavy with fatigue, float weightless in the water.

"Enjoying yourself, dear?" Jing Yuan's voice brings you back from your trance, eyes bleary as his feet come into view. You slowly lift your gaze, shamelessly eyeing your husband in a thin robe that was far from befitting a general. He's holding a small, porcelain cup in each hand, intricately decorated, with a bottle of wine under his arm. Oh, how you've missed this. "Very much. Even more so now,"

"I heard from your co-pilot that you had trouble with some rogue asteroids on your way back to the Luofu," He hums as he sets down the cups and bottle a small ways away from your head, settling behind you with a washcloth.

You groan "Ugh, I don't want to talk about it. If it weren't for my navigators we wouldn't of been able to come back unscathed,"

Jing Yuan coaxes you to lean forward, and you let out a rather undignified yelp when the cold soap on the washcloth touches your back. Jing Yuan laughs. you flick water at him.

"I commend your navigator's skills. They seem very talented," Jing Yuan lathers the soap as he speaks, taking the washcloth across your shoulders and down your back. He then gently takes your right hand, running the washcloth down the length of your arm.

"Of course they are, I taught them." Jest laces your tone, even as you submerge yourself to the neck to rid yourself of the suds. As you finish, you lay your head on Jing Yuan's crossed legs. Jing Yuan smiles softly, emotion swirling in the single eye you could see. He leans down, pressing his lips to yours. When he pulls back, the washcloth long forgotten, he runs his thumb across your cheekbone, then down the bridge of your nose, and over the curve of your lips. You've long since closed your eyes, a smile pulling at your lips. "Join me?"

Jing Yuan is silent for a beat, and you lift your head once more. "Your wish is my command."

Jing Yuan stands, and you watch him walk to the stool you had set your own robe on. You watch him fiddle with the knot at his hip, then slowly shrug off one side of the robe, then the other. Making sure to stretch his arms above his head, allowing you the pleasure of seeing the entire expanse of his back and arms. You can sense the smile playing on his lips, and you know he can sense your staring. He's teasing you. You avert your eyes the moment his robe drops to the floor.

You feel him slip into the water beside you, letting out a groan very much like the one you had earlier. He smiles at you, his hand creeping up to the side of your head, guiding it down to rest on his shoulder. The two of you sit in silence a while, simply enjoying each other's presence. Months ago, silence meant sitting alone, in the cramped captain's quarters of your starskiff, charting maps and scribbling reports to send back home. Silence meant nights that seemed endless, hunched over your work, and being far, far away from home. Silence that was so loud you had wished so very hard for moments like this to happen more often.

Jing Yuan shifts under your head, offering you one of the cups he had brought in. Wordlessly, you take it, allowing him to pour the wine into your cup, then into his own. "Tell me," You pipe up, swirling the cup under your nose. The scent was light, you watch as he takes a sip "When was the last time we've shared a bottle like this?"

"I can't say I recall. You're very cruel you know, keeping me waiting so long to repeat moments like this," Jing Yuan downs the rest of the contents of his cup, resuming his previous position at your side. "Fleet Master."

"Excuse you, we were right on schedule. Even after the whole event with the asteroids," You grin, playing with the fingers on Jing Yuan's free hand. "General-"

Jing Yuan surges forward, before you even have half a mind to process, slotting his lips against yours. You hum, his lips taste of wine, and the scent of his shampoo roles off him in waves. One arm slung lazily around your back, the other keeping his cup above the water, he parts from your lips with a gasp, dipping his head to pepper kisses down your jaw and neck. You manage to suck in a breath right as he lifts his head again, mashing your lips together clumsily. Desperately. If you didn't know your husband better, you'd think him drunk. With how careless he was being. The sound of his porcelain cup clattering onto the tile beside you ringing sharp in your ear only proving your thoughts.

His grip on you tightens, bringing his other hand up to push you even closer together, you throw your arms around his neck to stable yourself. You can feel every dip and contour of his body against yours, the callouses on his hand sliding up your back to between your shoulder blades as he brings you oh so much closer, his loose hair tickling your face when he hunches forward. Kissing you even harder.

You're the one to pull away. Or perhaps it was him? You don't really have it in you to care.

The both of you are panting like dogs. You let your arms around his neck go slack, and his hands drop from your back to your hips.

It's silent again, only your breathing filling the room. Without really thinking, you raise a hand, cupping your husband's cheek. Immediately he leans into your touch, covering your hand with his own and pressing a flurry of kisses to your palm. His face is flushed, pink from his cheeks to his ears, and his lips bruised. Truly a sight for your sore eyes.

You peck Jing Yuan's cheek, the one you aren't holding, laughing quietly against his skin. He joins you, a deep chuckle that always brought a pleasant warmth to your chest. It was rare for Jing Yuan to laugh to heartily, even rarer for you to even be present to hear it. You don't think you'll ever tire of the sound. He presses his lips to your temple. "I think we better leave before we become prunes,"

"Always so wise, my dear,"

˜”*°•.•°*”˜

“Jing Yuan, I can’t walk with you both leaning on me,” You whine. Jing Yuan groans, leaning more of his weight onto you. His grip on the front of your night shirt tightens, wrinkling the light fabric as Mimi curls around your legs, head butting your thigh. A chuffing sound leaves the lion, as if she were laughing at you. Jing Yuan rests his chin on your shoulder, cheeks still pink from the heat of the bath.

“Don’t be mean, she’s missed you,” He lightens his iron grip on you, running a hand through the fur on Mimi's back. You smell opportunity. You worm your way out of your husband's arms, as warm and comfortable as they are, you still need to walk. Narrowly dodging his hand, fully intent on tugging you right back, you stride on down the corridor. You needn't look back to see Jing Yuan huff and cross his arms, dragging his feet as he follows you.

The moment you close the sliding door to your shared chambers, you're shoved onto the unnecessarily large bed. Jing Yuan crawls over you as you shuffle up to the pillows. He straddles you, a leg on each side of your torso, keeping you down with a hand on your shoulder. As you settle your hands on his hips, you feel the bed dip once more. From around Jing Yuan, you watch as Mimi sprawls out over the entire foot of the bed. A hand on your chin guides your eyes back to your husband's face. He leans down, kissing you gently. Your hands travel, from his hips to his waist, then up his chest and over his shoulders. You settle your hands in his hair, running your nails over his scalp. Sliding a hand down his nape to his shoulders, you gently push him down, letting him put all his weight on you.

"This isn't uncomfortable, is it?" Jing Yuan lowly asks, barely above a whisper. He's already shifting his legs, leaving only his chest resting on yours. Always attentive, your Jing Yuan.

"No love, it's perfectly fine," You sigh, continuing to card your fingers through his hair.

Jing Yuan hums, pecking your forehead then the tip of your nose. He lowers himself till his head is cushioned by your chest, pressing another kiss to your collar bone before settling down right above your heart, curling his arms around your ribs.

Mimi huffs, and you hear her breathing become slow. You've certainly missed this. You can feel Mimi's tail sway against your calf in her sleep, and Jing Yuan tightens his grip around you, you can feel his every breath against the thin fabric of your shirt. You continue scratching at his scalp. "Jing Yuan?"

You hear him mumble something, he throws a leg over yours.

"I'm sorry I'm away so often," It stings. Whenever you leave. The silent nights holed away in your office, or piloting your vessel. The homesickness eating at you the minute you leave port. Sometimes you can't help but think that having someone so dear be so far away takes a toll that isn't worth the pay off.

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder, my love," Jing Yuan replies, muffled by the fabric of your shirt, and slurred by exhaustion.

On second thought. Maybe having someone tying you to your home was a good thing. Who knows if you'd ever return from the stars if someone wasn't waiting at home. Speaking of home...

"Jing Yuan, how did you convince Qingzu and Lady Fu to leave you be for so long?"

The man stiffens in your hold.

"Jing Yuan!"

˜”*°•.•°*”˜

work belongs to @cougheemedicine, all forms of plagiarism, modifying, translating, reposting are not allowed.

#honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr #hsr jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #hsr jing yuan x you #honkai star rail jing yuan #damn I haven't written anything in a LONG time #forgive me if it's ooc #Ooooo Coughee you used the title of the one shot in the actual one shot #you're so creative and poetic #jing yuan fluff #jing yuan x reader fluff #x reader fluff #adding more tags cuz I forgot

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mrschwartz · 6 months ago

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Alex Turner for Rumore Magazine (September 2013)

Seventies Heads and Modern Loves or I Don't Know What I Want But I Surely Want You

by Elia Alovisi

Until he opens his mouth, Alex Turner looks like he stepped out of the Nevada desert. Leather loafers, a belt, slicked-back hair, sunglasses. But as soon as he starts talking, between “summat” instead of “something” and “me” instead of “my,” he transforms back into a boy from Sheffield who grew up on cocktails and DJ sets. The discrepancy between the way he looks and the way he speaks is strange: you would expect a cocky and arrogant rock star, but instead you have before you a relaxed and thoughtful boy who carefully measures his words, but does so with a smile and not a frown. The lyrics of AM, the fifth album of his band, mainly revolve around difficult and elusive women. There are many questions. “Do I want to know?” “Are you mine?” he says; “Why do you always call me when you’re high?” she says. There is no shortage of desires: “I want it all,” “I want to be yours.” Absent, however, are the answers. We tried to get a few out of him.

How was it to be back at Glastonbury as a headliner five years after the first time?

Fantastic. Absolutely wonderful, this time it was very natural. Everything was harder in 2007, we had done a lot less shows and had a lot less songs. Now we have learned to move better.

After the experience of Humbug, you collaborated again with Josh Homme.

Yes, Josh is on Knee Socks, towards the end of the piece. We gave him carte blanche and he decided to sing a sort of counter-melody that reminds me a lot of Bowie.

Are knee socks your favorite piece of underwear on a woman?

[Laughs] What do you think?

If she has the right legs.

Exactly, yes. The best is the garter. But then they would not be Parisian anymore, right? And then they are thicker than women's stockings. However they are not my favorite underwear, I go with the push-up.

In the lyrics of Arabella you talk a lot about the universe.

I wanted to use that linguistic palette to try to describe a woman. There are many songs that use those sorts of words… galaxy, interstellar, constellation, things like that, but usually they are used just for the sake of being used. Instead I wanted to make them an active part of a description, they are images that I find very interesting. In England, on the BBC, there is this program called Wonders of the Universe, with Professor Brian Cox. And it is one of my favorite programs [smiles, pleased].

Barbarella also pops up in the text.

Yes, although I haven't read practically any of her comics and I've only seen a small piece of the movie. I don't really like B movies. To know her, you just need to have seen a poster, that's all you need. I just used her to make a comparison with the costume she wears.

How does the suite you sing about in Fireside relate to room 505 in Favourite Worst Nightmare?

Yes, I’m talking about a suite in my heart… or in her heart? Well, in someone’s heart. Room 505, in my mind, is something very concrete. I wrote that song on a train between Philadelphia and New York, my girlfriend was in a hotel waiting for me and I just wrote about that [Turner’s voice becomes increasingly whispered as the sentence progresses]. In Fireside, however, it’s all figurative.

So how much of your real self is in your lyrics and how much is just imagination?

There's no rule, sometimes there's a lot of me in the lyrics when you least expect it. I put little secrets in them. What I try to avoid is that people who listen to one of my songs say, 'oh, he's talking about that girl'. You know when you read a novel and, somehow, in your mind you see its characters with the faces of some of your friends, or your favorite actors? That's where I want to get to with my music, I want it to be like being in front of a story, not the evidence of two people with a name and a surname who are kissing. It's up to the listener to give them both a face. When I write I pretty much always have someone or something in mind, but it doesn't really matter.

How did you come up with the idea of using John Cooper Clarke's words for I Wanna Be Yours?

We wrote most of the songs on this record on a four-track that I got for my birthday. I spent a while recording ideas on it, sometimes we'd loop a bass and drum melody for five minutes and the fact that it was on tape gave it an incredible color. Then I'd sit there with headphones and a microphone humming melodies, or making up silly lyrics to start coming up with ideas. One day, while I was jamming, the words I wanna be yours came out and I remembered that they were the title of one of his poems. I thought it would be cool to use someone else's words – and especially his, I'm a big fan of his. It's one of my favorite songs on the record, the lyrics alone make it different from anything we've done before. And then I love the juxtaposition of the slow, sexy, flirtatious music and his words.

The party you talk about in No. 1 Party Anthem seems a lot more laid back than the ones you’ve talked about in the past, like the house in This House Is A Circus.

That’s true, but the parties we go to are still pretty messy. They’re just twice as long.

Am I supposed to be imagining some sort of indie celebrity party?

Indie celebrity party? [Laughs.] No, no, no. The slow tempo of that song gives it a bit of a Los Angeles feel. It’s a city that I’m told is very similar to what we’re portraying on the new record, and I’m starting to think that might be true. Not that it sounds like the Eagles, you know.

It's like your sound is becoming more and more American.

Yeah, maybe. There's something special about that part of the world. Everything that came out of California owes something to '70s rock, the spontaneity of those rhythms also comes back in West Coast hip-hop. But then came the fucking '80s and… a lot of fucking bands that don't fit into that theory. I think there will always be something English in our sound, it's something we can never detach ourselves from.

How much does Sheffield still mean to what you do?

Well, you know… [he taps two fingers on a tattoo on the inside of his arm: the Yorkshire rose and underneath it the word “SHEFFIELD”].

There are three songs on AM whose titles are questions.

You don't notice things like that until you sit there and write the titles of the songs one after the other. I hadn't noticed until then, there are also a lot of wanna.

The protagonist of R U Mine? is wrapped up in a certain western imagery, you portray her as “a lone cowboy riding in an open space.” And in All My Own Stunts you talked about “watching cowboy movies on gloomy afternoons.”

I love the western style. The leather ties, the belts… Hey, look at this one I’m wearing! [He stands up and shows me his leather belt, turning his back: it has “TURNER” engraved on it, on either side of the horseshoes.] A friend gave it to me for my birthday, this year was really nice, between this and the four-track. I also love western movies, especially the ones about Butch Cassidy. I also love Ennio Morricone’s soundtracks, obviously.

How do you usually celebrate your birthdays?

They’re nothing too devastating. I have a birthday in early January, everyone is still recovering from Christmas and New Year’s, so the average response I get is usually “forget it.”

Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High? brings back the drunken text messages you mentioned in The View From the Afternoon.

We've all done that at least once, come on. Those lyrics might have come off the first record, but the music is fully invested in what we're doing now. I just wanted to write something simple.

While we're on the subject: when was the last time you got bounced at the entrance of a nightclub? It's not like From The Ritz To The Rubble anymore, is it?

Shit, that was like four weeks ago! [Laughs.] We were in Stockholm, we were trying to get into an area of the nightclub and there was no way we could get in.

What are those Mad Sounds you're talking about?

That song is about those moments when you put on a song and it's like it's talking about exactly how you feel. It's a song about those songs, and I hope it can become one of them. I get that feeling from some songs by Lou Reed, John Cale, or Harry Nilsson. It's like sometimes they really understand how I feel, and you're like, "What the fuck..." and you almost tell them to go fuck themselves.

The point where the song explodes is when you start singing a series of ooh-la-la-la. What is the la-la-la moment that sticks with you the most from the music you listen to?

Definitely the do-dodo-dodo-do-do-do-do from Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed.

By the way, who came up with the idea of calling a song The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala? What does that mean?

It came up one day when we were making up names for guitar pedals – sometimes they have crazy names. The Blond-o-Sonic Shimmer Trap would be perfect for a fuzz, for example. The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala, however, comes from a bar we hung out in a lot while we were writing the previous record. The room was full of glitter and there were a lot of weird chicks all winking, like cougars.

The lyrics to Snap Out of It revolve around hypnosis. Do you think there's any real power behind it or is it just persuasion?

I've never been hypnotised, but it all seems pretty real when you watch hypnotists on telly. There's this show in the UK where this guy, Derren Brown, gets people to do all sorts of things. Crazy stuff like, "rob someone!" Nothing I'd want to be involved with.

In I Want It All you say, “Leave me listening to the Stones 2000 light years from home.”

I’m actually a Beatles guy, no doubt. But I like them both, I saw the Stones at Glastonbury and it was great.

Don't you think it's better for a band to go at the top of their game than to keep going and going and risk having nothing left to say?

What the Stones have managed to do is really extraordinary. I mean, they're seventy years old and they're still on stage. It's very difficult to have an opinion on something like this because I don't think I've reached that level yet. I'm very excited about the new album, we've reached the point of being a good live band and, speaking as an artist, I think I've reached a certain excellence this time. I want to build on that, explore new things. We still have a lot of places to go.

I think the main difference between AM and your previous albums is the small amount of guitars.

This time we didn't want to sound like four guys playing in the same room, while that's exactly what we wanted to sound like in Suck It And See. We immersed ourselves in a more minimalist idea. The guitars are perfect, sometimes they don't even sound like guitars from the way they're played, or from the effects we put on them. They sound a bit "spacey," they would be good for the stereo of a flying saucer. Then we came out with some bass and drum parts perfect to be played at full volume through the speakers of a car. We also worked much more with the vocal lines, especially with the choirs.

There are actually a lot of songs where you put backing vocals and backing vocals, especially One For The Road.

Matt, Nick and I do them. Jamie is the only one who doesn't want to have anything to do with them. It all started with R U Mine? , the part where we all start going: [hums the backing vocals]. As soon as we tried that part we realized how good it sounded, we especially liked the fact that it was something we hadn't done before. So we just went for it.

#i've been looking for this entire interview for so long i finally found it today!!#decided to search for it in italian and translate it #i had only ever seen the question about fireside and 505 #so many good insights here #the bit about women's underwear made me blush jvnjfvnjgn #how all of his songs are about himself and the people and the things in his life #even if that isn't what he wants people to gather from them (sorry alex! lol)#how he feels about his birthday being so early in the year i've always wondered that!#how hard they were partying during this era #WHAT HELLCAT SPANGLED SHALALALA MEANS!!!!!#what a discovery i'm so pleased with myself #alex turner #arctic monkeys #am #interview

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dw-opinions-you-wont-like · 2 months ago

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15 is not being written to be as smart as he should be

Think about it, every other doctor gets to show themselves being really clever and figuring things out in almost every episode. But with 15, it's a rarity. Let's look at the current season -

In the robot revolution, the most clever thing he does is the every ninth word thing. But we don't know if he's the one who figured that out, and it’s not like it does much anyway.

Lux is basically the only time the doctor gets to show how clever he is, figuring out how to exit the fake world Lux put them in, but it’s short and doesn't make that much of an impact.

In the well, he does the whole mercury mirror thing which I thought was quite clever, but it doesn't even work because the creature latched on to Belinda making the side character sacrifice herself, or maybe the creature just stayed with Alice because there's one more life sign than there needs to be? Doesn't matter, the point is it didn’t actually work and the doctor gave the creature exactly what it wanted.

In lucky day he's basically not in.

In the story and the engine, okay so he follows the map braided into his hair to get through the maze, that's not bad (although why was there suddenly a maze). Then he tells his story which is the best story ever and that overwhelms the engine? Okay sure. That's not clever. That's just Doctor Who giving itself a pat on the back (again).

In the interstellar song contest, he is basically helpless without the two random strangers who happened to survive being able to do exactly what he needs. Since when does the doctor need someone else's expertise on stuff like this? Like it was just tech fiddling and holograms and stuff, we've seen him do stuff like that all the time. But THIS doctor needs other people's help.

And then of course there's wish world, in which for 99% of the episode he is just a dumb propaganda follower. He literally needs Rogue to send a message from super hell for him to really start doubting a world which by definition makes no sense. I've seen many people say they thought the doctor was pretending, just playing along to figure out what's going on, and yeah that makes sense for the doctor we all knew, but not this doctor. I knew he isn't pretending, because so far he's been characterized to just not be very insightful.

And that's bad because the doctor being clever and solving problems in a creative way is one of the best things about this show. Like, think how in Blink, the doctor tricks the angels to look at each other forever, or how in the day of the moon, the doctor uses the silence's power of suggestion to make the humans fight back against them, or how in heaven sent, he figures out that he can copy himself again and again using his own death to slowly break the wall to escape. Those are the moments which define doctor who. Did we get any with 15?

Also, and I'm definitely not any kind of authority on this so feel free to tell me if you think I'm wrong, it feels a bit racist. Not intentionally, I'm sure the team is doing their best. Just feels weird that the first doctor of color is also noticeably less clever than the others.

#doctor who #dw #dw spoilers #dw critical #dw crit #wish world

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theimpossiblescheme · 2 months ago

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This is legitimately going to be the last new season of Doctor Who I watch. It breaks my heart to say that since I've loved this show for a very long time... but this era has just been a colossal clusterfuck from start to finish. That's not to say that I don't love Ncuti Gatwa's performance--he is a ridiculously charismatic actor who clearly has so much enthusiasm for the part and so much potential in the hands of the right showrunner. But Russel T. Davies isn't that showrunner.

RTD's had a history of handling issues around race very badly, as we've already seen with Mickey Smith and Martha Jones in his first three seasons, and this go-around is no exception. Episodes like "Dot and Bubble" and "Lux" pretty clearly show that he hasn't bothered to look outside of his own bubble of "middle-aged white guy," as shown by their frankly embarrassing and childish takes on white supremacy and segregation. We had a brief flicker of hope with "The Story and the Engine", which was a legitimately great episode... only for it to be snuffed out with the Doctor literally torturing a victim of genocide in "The Interstellar Song Contest." I haven't been so appalled by the politics of an episode since... well, since three weeks ago when "Lucky Day" had Kate Stewart unleash a bloodthirsty alien on a dude and face no repercussions for it (ask me about my opinions on UNIT--I have enough salt to ruin a small country's crop yield). I don't like feeling consistently betrayed by one of my favorite shows. I don't like downloading the latest installment and then immediately deleting it because I was so angry. I have better things to do with my time.

And then, as if that wasn't bad enough, there are rumors going around that Billie Piper is about to be cast as the next Doctor. Guys... I can't do this anymore. It's not just that Rose Tyler was the bus that Martha Jones got thrown under repeatedly, or that Billie Piper and Catherine Tate have gotten to come back on the show while Freema Aygeman's gotten nothing. This is supposed to be a show about change. The Doctor always regenerates into a new person, a new body, a new personality. It was infuriating enough when RTD had the Doctor regenerate back into David Tennant, robbing Ncuti Gatwa the chance to be the star of his own first episode. Continuing this cheap nostalgia train completely goes against the entire premise of the show, and I'm not about to watch RTD destroy what he helped to create in the first place.

There are other bloggers on this site who have gotten into greater detail about the abysmal politics and wasted potential of this era, and all I can do is co-sign what they've said. The healthiest thing I can do once this season is over is walk away. I'll still continue to enjoy past eras of the show (Sylvester McCoy, they could never make me hate you), but unless or until this show gets its priorities in order, consider this my sign-off.

It's the end, but the moment has been prepared for.

#dw critical #rtd critical #doctor who critical #the schemer speaks #I was just having a conversation with a friend about this and... yeah life is just too short to spend on bad television. ://#Big Finish is still all right for the time being--I always look forward to their releases but their stuff hasn't always been winners either #Do your research on various writers and producers guys. It'll save you a lot of future heartbreak.

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crownmemes · 8 months ago

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Supernatural & Paranormal Sentences, Vol. 11

(Sentences from various sources for muses exploring the unexplained. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"There's this theory that the fabric of time and space is fluid. That it can be quantified, like water."

"God, I hate full moons."

"Science doesn't make sense until it does, and none of this will make sense at all until someone is able to figure out what all this really is."

"Only virgins can catch unicorns, isn't that right?"

"Do you ever wonder if the world's not what you think it is?"

"Well, there's something you don't see every day!"

"Is any of this making sense to you?"

"Can we go? This place is really freaking me out!"

"There are no answers to questions you can't even conceive."

"I don't like the idea of someone hearing what I'm thinking!"

"It's true. No tokens, no talismans, no fetishes - nothing. You really don't use anything!"

"You know when someone says something's impossible? I prove it's possible."

"Did you know that there is a reasonable explanation for everything if you just put your mind to it?"

"I believe a lot of things that don't make sense to people."

"I don't believe that we can withhold this extraordinary discovery from the world any longer."

"Where there's one mutant, there's probably another, and another, and another. A whole nest of them!"

"The night, I think, is darker than we can really say."

"What difference does it make? Dead is dead, isn't it?"

"There's no reason to think that there's some kind of afterlife."

"Regardless of what you may have read in the tabloids, there have never been any spacecraft recovered by our government."

"This must be what going mad feels like."

"Haven't you ever seen people without faces before?"

"If you could see the things I've seen, you wouldn't try to stop me."

"When you break all the laws of physics, do you seriously think there won't be a price?"

"Now, something about that is just downright unsettling."

"People who lie to witches have been known to have their eyes shrink up into little black raisins."

"Do not fire at the spacecraft! You may inadvertently start an interstellar war!"

"To build something like that would require tools and metal alloys that aren't exactly available at Home Depot!"

"You know nothing. Hell is only a word. The reality is much, much worse."

"Does it disturb you at all that the most logical explanation for all of this is that he's an alien?"

"Has everybody lost their mind?"

"Have you actually tested this theory?"

"Something's happening here. Something bigger and you and me, and we're the only two people who know about it."

"You're one of them, aren't you?"

"The world is not as black and white as you think."

"Just because you can't see it or understand it doesn't mean it isn't real."

#rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #supernatural;#assorted;

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cryptid-catnip · 9 months ago

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An Unnecessarily In-Depth Deconstruction of the Lore and Problematic Elements of HDG

Why did I make this fucking post. (TWs for discussions of imperialism, cultural genocide, and a mention of systematized sexual assault)

So, to preface, I am going to be pretty harsh when it comes to criticizing the setting and lore of HDG, but I do not give one iota of a shit if someone finds its more problematic elements hot. Hell, I myself have found quite a few of the more fucked stories hot.

Secondly, if you want to rebute this post, please refrain from using Thermian Arguments as much as possible. If you don't know what a Thermian Argument is, it was coined in this video by Dan Oslen. It's only a five-minute watch, but, if you can't be bothered, it details an increasingly common argument in fandom spaces which consists of rebuking problematic elements of media by using in-universe reasoning, despite the fact that everything in a story is there because the writer put it there.

With that out of the way, let's begin.

So, in a previous post of mine, I wrote that The Combine from Half-Life 2 are essentially the same archetype of sci-fi civilization as the Affini (ie, ancient, vast conquerors whose interstellar conquest is so ancient that not even they know where they're from), with the only difference that the Affini are to be seen as the heroes of the story because... well because the writers say so.

Now you may say "Callie! You stupid bitch! Life in the Compact is way better than that on Terra!" and, to that I say "That's a Thermian Argument."

GlitchyRobo (and basically all other HDG writers) made the conscious decision to have Terra be Super-Mega-Ultra-Death-Capitalism(TM) to serve as justification for the Affini's colonization of Terra.

And this opens up a massive can of worms, considering that the Affini canonically want all non-Affini to be Florets and believe that all non-Affini would be better off as Florets.

The reason I'm calling this a can of worms is because the Affini are so vast, so long-lived, both individually and societally, that there has to have been at least one society that was doing really well for themselves, and were crushed by the Compact, right?

As I've alluded to prior in this post, the Affini are a fundamentally imperialist entity and does not care what your opinion is on their interstellar conquest, now go get your mandated mindbreak implant.

I think it's fair to say that the Affini are a shining example of the Designated Hero trope, as for a civilization whose bread and butter is imperialism, cultural genocide and systematized rape, they ARE The Good Guys, because The Narrative says so. This isn't even hyperbole, nearly all of the Canon Guidelines and the Writing in HDG pages are "The Affini are the good guys and are always in the right and are 59 steps ahead of the Terrans and functionally and narratively invincible with awesome tits."

But special mention goes to this line which basically confirms the thing I said previously:

What if you feel okay on your own? What if you don't want the Affini Compact running the show? What if you're already a communist society and are doing your level best to ensure everyone gets what they need?

The Affini response will be, "That's okay, petal, you've done enough. We'll take it from here."

And this line, which is basically just there to handwave some of the grimiest elements of HDG:

(Discussions about systemic floret sterilization and comparisons to real life reproductive violence and eugenics are definitely overthinking it.)

Like, motherfucker, I'm not the one who wrote this implication into the story. It's not my fault you decided to do White Man's Burden IIIIIIIIINNNNNN SSSSSPPPPPAAAAAACCCCEEEE with the femdom plant aliens.

And this is not only wretched morally, but it's just bad fucking writing. It is the closest that comes to an actual rule in writing (unless, like other "rules" in writing, it exists in your story for the purpose of deconstruction): DO NOT HAVE IMMORTAL, ALL-POWERFUL PROTAGANISTS.

The Affini are written like the player character of "That Guy" in every RPG horror story ever, with them being essentially invincible and immortal (functionally and narratively), are portrayed as the good guys while conquering planets and brainwashing people.

Or, to put it another way, most HDG stories feel like pro-Compact propaganda written by and for the Affini.

I was going to end this post with a thing where I say, "well i don't really think any of the writers/fans think that this would be good in practice/irl, and they all know it's just wish fulfillment kinkfics", but I genuinely do not think that's true for many people.

The constant defense of the righteousness of the Affini Compact in the text itself, as well as the constant stressing in the fucking wiki, leads me to believe that many people just straight-up believe that they are in the right, and not just the purpose of being kinkfics, and that deeply fucking disturbs me.

#callie writes #hdg #human domestication guide #affini #floretposting #plant girl #glitchyrobo

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imaginita-est-omnibus · 2 months ago

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So about the bi-generation, now that I've seen The Interstellar Song Contest

Spoilers Follow

When the bi-generation happened, I was kinda upset. I mean, hell bloody yeah the return of the Rani, and played by an Indian actress to boot! But the method of regeneration itself bothered me, because the main reason I was okay with the Doctor bi-generating was because it was weird one-off. He had recently messed with how the universe itself worked, and was in the middle of a face-off with a reality-warping deity, while the Rani... had her double brain stem frozen? Why would that proc a bi-generation?

HOWEVER, the more I've sat and thought about it, the more I'm okay with it and even excited to see what RTD will do with it.

The reason why starts with this: for any viewer who started with D+ Who and hasn't gone back and watched Old Who and Nu Who, bi-generation is the only kind of regeneration they know about, which is kinda hilarious -- do they think every other past regeneration of the Doctor is just hanging out somewhere in space and time? But that got me thinking -- what if this is just how Time Lords regenerate from now on? I don't think that's the case, and really hope it isn't, but then why have all the Time Lord regenerations we've seen since Wild Blue Yonder been bi-generations? Maybe, it's because nearly all Gallifreyan sentient life has actually been wiped out. Last time, they were stuck in a time bubble, not actually gone, but this time, they are all actually dead, so maybe this is a biological thing that procs to aid in the repopulation of Gallifreyans in a time of crisis? I know there's some stuff in the extended lore about test tube babies or something like that, but given that the canonicity of everything outside the show (and even inside it) is very wibbly, I'm going to stick with just what is shown in the shows.

And if we don't know the cause of bi-generation, what about the effect? Ever since the 14/15 Doctor bi-generation, people have been wondering about some minutiae of the mechanics. One has already been clarified in the episode -- the new Time Lord/Lady is the real one, and the pre-existing one is kinda just hanging around, as established with the 14th Doctor taking a back seat for the 15th, and clarified with Mrs. Flood immediately taking a subservient role to the Rani. But the other big one is what happens to the pre-existing body? What happens to them when they die? Does the new one have all the memories of the pre-existing one? Hopefully, with Mrs. Flood, we'll be able to see, and confirm what will happen to 14 without having to kill David Tennant again.

And finally, the Rani bi-generating resolves one thing that always personally bugged me about the Doctor bi-generating, which is that I don't like it when the Doctor is inherently special among Time Lords. It's why I hate the Timeless Child so much. But now that we've seen another Time Lady bi-generate, that means it's not a Doctor-exclusive thing, which is a huge relief to me.

#doctor who #doctor who spoilers #dw spoilers #The Interstellar Song Contest #Doctor Who Theories #bigeneration #bi-generation

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yoificfinder · 6 months ago

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Hi! Went through the masterlist and couldn't find this one trope (if there's been an oversight I'm really sorry) but I'm looking for a victuuri fic which has the fake dating trope? I've seen a few arranged marriage ones but I haven't been able to find a fic with this. Maybe something in the 50k+ word category and not omegaverse if possible. I'm so grateful for your page I've found such good fics here! Please lmk if there's something like that on your radar. But in either case thank you so much for your time and for the work you do ❤️

Not 50k words but here are the fake dating fics I rec:

crust and sugar over by @shanastoryteller [T, 36K]

Katsuki sits cross-legged, clearly in no hurry to go anywhere. “What’s your name? I’m –” “I know who you are,” he cuts him off, then blushes, then hates himself for both those things. Katsuki looks surprised, and Yuri can’t think as to why. He’s a nationally ranked figure skater. He’s Yuri’s favorite figure skater. ~ Yuuri and Yuri become friends and Viktor develops a crush.

faking in secret by exarite [T, 15K]

It gets kind of difficult when you’re simultaneously fake dating and dating in secret at the same time.

Yuuri and Viktor make it work—until they don’t.

lying is the most fun a boy can have by @seventhstar [M, 11K]

“Let me see?” Carla leaned over his arm to look at his phone. “Who’s that in your wallpaper? Isn’t that the guy you were getting all those pictures of?”

“Yes?”

Yuuri sucked in a breath, fully prepared to undergo the humiliation of having to explain who Viktor Nikiforov was and fully aware that every time he talked about Viktor, he gave people the impression that there was something definitely wrong with him.

“Who is he, a friend?” Carla nudged him in the side with her elbow. Yuuri moved away. “Your boyfriend?”

“Well—” How to explain, Yuuri thought, that he was a Viktor Nikiforov stan and that photographs of Viktor cuddling his poodle always made him smile, without looking creepy? “He’s, uh…”

“Oh my god,” Carla said. Her mouth dropped open. “You have a boyfriend. Is that why you keep turning down dates? You should have said! And here I am hitting on you like an idiot. Oh, man, James is going to die, he’s been trying to get you to have dinner with him for like two semesters, he thought he was wearing you down! Yuuri. You are such a heartbreaker.”

The Vastness of Space by @shysweetthing [E, 17K]

As chief communications officer on board the Interstellar Alliance Fleet’s Star Ship Victory, Yuuri doesn’t have to think about who he actually is on his home planet. He just has to listen to his captain, do his job, and…not fall in love with his best friend, the ship’s science officer, Victor Nikiforov.

Well. Two out of three’s not bad.

Then his mother calls with the worst possible news: She, the Empress of New Nihon, has arranged Yuuri’s marriage.

There’s only one thing Yuuri can do: Fake a boyfriend, and fake one fast. Who better/worse to play that role than the friend he wishes was more? What can go wrong? It’s not like Yuuri can fall more in love...

#yoi #yuri on ice #yoi fanfic #victuuri #yoi fic rec

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jamsmemes · 9 months ago

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( * INTERSTELLAR PROMPTS !

a self indulgent meme based on interstellar (part 2). feel free to change pronouns / details as needed !

❛ we've got each other. ❜

❛ look at that perfect planet. we're not gonna find another one like her. ❜

❛ is a tiger evil because it rips a gazelle to pieces? ❜

❛ this crew represents the best aspects of humanity. ❜

❛ don't stay up too late. ❜

❛ we can't spare the resources. ❜

❛ i've been waiting a long time to be up here. ❜

❛ you are literally wasting your breath. ❜

❛ why are you whispering? ❜

❛ everything wants us dead. we're just not supposed to be here. ❜

❛ we're explorers, on the greatest ocean of all. ❜

❛ so we've got a pretty good idea what we're gonna find on the other side? ❜

❛ say it, don't spray it. ❜

❛ who put it here? who do we thank? ❜

❛ any trick to this? ❜

❛ the others made it, right? ❜

❛ thanks for the confidence boost. ❜

❛ they won't help you in here. ❜

❛ all we can do is record and observe. ❜

❛ that's easy for you to say. ❜

❛ you don't have anyone back on earth waiting for you, do you? ❜

❛ you have no idea what's easy for me. ❜

❛ going down there is going to cost us. ❜

❛ you don't find that every day. ❜

❛ no time for monkey business down there. ❜

❛ don't worry, i wouldn't leave you behind. ❜

❛ a literal heart of darkness... ❜

❛ don't say much, do you? ❜

❛ the answer's there, just no way to see it. ❜

❛ wanna get in fast, don't we? ❜

❛ hands where i can see them! ❜

❛ what're you waiting for? go! ❜

❛ those aren't mountains... they're waves. ❜

❛ you don't have time! ❜

❛ get back here! now! ❜

❛ i told you to leave me. ❜

❛ difference is, only one of us was thinking about the mission. ❜

❛ i was trying to do the right thing! ❜

❛ whats this gonna cost us? ❜

❛ we're not prepared for this. ❜

❛ you're a bunch of eggheads with the survival skills of a boy-scout troop. ❜

❛ we're stuck here till there won't be anyone left on earth to save. ❜

❛ don't just shake your head at me! ❜

❛ time is relative — it can stretch and it can squeeze — but it can't run backwards. ❜

❛ could they be talking to us from the future? ❜

❛ i'm sorry. i screwed up. ❜

❛ i wasn't much of a parent, but i understood the most important thing — let your kids feel safe. ❜

❛ i've waited years. ❜

❛ i thought i was prepared. ❜

❛ there's nothing here for us. ❜

❛ why didn't you sleep? ❜

❛ i stopped believing you were coming back. ❜

❛ something seems wrong about dreaming your life away. ❜

❛ we've been receiving, but nothing gets out. ❜

❛ just start at the beginning. ❜

❛ i've got a surprise for you. ❜

❛ you're not listening to this. i know that. ❜

❛ you're gone. you're never coming back. and i've known that for a long time. ❜

❛ it'd be a real good time for you to come back. ❜

❛ i didn't mean to intrude. ❜

❛ i've never seen you in here before. ❜

❛ i've never been in here before. ❜

❛ i just had something i wanted to get out. ❜

❛ i know they're still out there. ❜

❛ i'm not afraid of death. i'm afraid of time. ❜

❛ are you calling my life's work nonsense? ❜

❛ love isn't something we invented — it's observable, powerful. why shouldn't it mean something? ❜

❛ love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space. maybe we should trust that, even if we can’t yet understand it. ❜

❛ if you're wrong, you'll have a very personal decision to make. ❜

❛ you might have to decide between seeing your children again and the future of the human race. ❜

❛ all these years... all these people counted on me. i let you all down. ❜

❛ i'll finish what you started. ❜

❛ you left us here. to die. ❜

❛ pray you never learn just how good it can be to see another face. ❜

❛ you have literally raised me from the dead. ❜

❛ with our situation, there's not much hope of any other rescue. ❜

❛ tell us about your world. ❜

❛ some things aren't meant to be known. ❜

❛ we can care deeply, selflessly for people we know, but our empathy rarely extends beyond our line of sight. ❜

❛ we are the future. ❜

❛ i'm still trying to solve this. ❜

❛ you'd do this for us? ❜

❛ a trip into the unknown requires improvisation. ❜

❛ at the very moment of death, your mind pushes a little harder to survive. ❜

❛ none of this turned out the way it was supposed to. ❜

❛ i'm sorry — i can't let you leave. ❜

❛ you fucking coward. ❜

❛ you're gonna save the human race? really? how? ❜

❛ take your stuff and go. ❜

❛ don't — you'll kill us both. ❜

❛ please don't judge me — you were never tested like i was. ❜

❛ that survival instinct — that's what drove me. ❜

❛ you're feeling it, aren't you? ❜

❛ i'm sorry, i can't watch you go through this — i thought i could. ❜

❛ i'm still here. i'm here for you. ❜

❛ i'm sorry. we should've followed your instincts. ❜

❛ this is no time for caution. ❜

❛ there's good news and bad news. ❜

❛ the only way humans have ever figured out of getting somewhere is to leave something behind. ❜

❛ you have to leave something behind. ❜

❛ we don't have much time! ❜

❛ you goddamn fool. ❜

❛ everybody on earth is going to die! ❜

❛ take it slow. remember you're no spring chicken anymore. ❜

❛ you were extremely lucky. ❜

❛ nobody believed me, but i knew you'd come back. ❜

#rp memes #rp sentence meme #rp meme #rp prompts #rp sentence starters #rp sentence prompts #sentence starters #movie #scifi #drama #adventure #interstellar

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mohnaka · 6 months ago

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So, in regards to Hondo in Skeleton Crew since it's something I keep seeing people ask about: it was confirmed that he won't be appearing. Here's the specific bit from the article:

I’ve seen speculation that a live-action Hondo Ohnaka will appear in Star Wars: Skeleton Crew. True or false? –Corey A freighter resembling Hondo’s was spotted in the distance at Port Borgo in Episode 2, but series creators Chris Ford and Jon Watts confirmed for me that we won’t be meeting the Clone Wars pirate. “We’ll rip off that Band-Aid and say no, we don’t have any Hondo,” Ford told TVLine. “Honestly, we love Hondo, but there wasn’t really a part in our story that offered a good enough role for him. Like, if we were trying to cast him in this, he would be like, ‘This part is not big enough for Hondo!'” Which is not to say Skeleton Crew, in success, won’t ever feature the interstellar buccaneer. “We would love to keep doing this,” Ford said, “and keep exploring the whole pirate side of the galaxy, and build up to that.”

There's always the chance they could be lying, but considering the wording, I don't think they are. But! He is coming in the next dlc for Star Wars Outlaws! No exact release date yet, sometime in spring. If you haven't played it yet, I highly recommend it.

Now on a side note, something else I've seen a lot of people ask/say in regards to Hondo showing up in media set after Rebels: isn't he already super old/dead/etc? Long story short, no. Short story long because I'm autistic and don't know when to shut up under the read more:

If you were somehow unaware (hoping that doesn't come off as judgmental, it's more of a surprised thing I swear!), he's actually a part of Galaxy's Edge aka "the Star Wars land" at Disneyland/Disney World, which is supposed to take place in between The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker (so about 34 ABY). Or at least it was initially, they've been kind of loosening it up lately, but the two rides (Rise of the Resistance and Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run, the latter of which Hondo is basically the star of) are still in that specific time range. So he's not dead nor is he going to die in anything set before the sequels (but then again, "Hondo Ohnaka survives every time", could be the Force keeps bringing him back to life to fuck with everyone).

In Legends, the approximate lifespan for his species (Weequay) was about 90 years of age. There's been no word on whether this is still canon or it's been made longer, but if it is still canon, it does give us an idea of how old he was in the various eras. If we're to assume he's somewhere between 80 to 85 years of age in 34 ABY (Lando, who he's shown to be on good terms with in issue 4 of the Halcyon Legacy comic, is 77/78 years in 34 ABY for reference), that would make him:

Between 25 to 30 years old when he's first introduced in The Clone Wars

Between 42 to 47 years old when he's first introduced in Rebels

And last but not least, between 55 to 60 years old in 9 ABY, which is (supposedly) when The Mandalorian/Skeleton Crew/etc takes place

Somewhere in the middle is most likely, since the younger estimate would put him at only 14 years old in 32 BBY (during The Phantom Menace), but 17 to 19 years old isn't that wild considering what we've seen older kids/teenagers deal with in this franchise. It's not completely unrealistic that someone with a background like his would be just starting off leading a group of pirates in his late teens.

Anyway, what's he been up to since Rebels? He actually founded his own Totally Legitimate Shipping Company, Ohnaka Transport Solutions, sometime in between 1 ABY and 4 ABY prior to the Battle of Endor. It's currently (as in, 34 ABY currently) based in Black Spire Outpost on Batuu, though whether it was always there is unknown. Also at some point he got himself a ship that he named the Katooni...yes, like that Katooni. In fact, it's the one mentioned in the above interview about Hondo appearing in Skeleton Crew, so in a sense, he might have already had a indirect cameo!

Sources for most of this/recommended reading: Pirate's Price, The Secrets of the Bounty Hunters, and Halcyon Legacy #4. If you're looking for Hondo content outside the shows, read these. Especially Pirate's Price if you've always wondered what it'd be like if Han and Hondo met. And as previously mentioned, Halcyon Legacy #4 has him with (the real) Lando.

#hondo ohnaka #skeleton crew #star wars #oh god why is this so long. i didn't mean it to be this long #i haven't even reblogged any skeleton crew stuff yet!#i love it though!

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intuitive-revelations · 2 months ago

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Semi-live/retrospective analysis of The Interstellar Song Contest!

And here's my usual commentary for episode 6! Featuring a long final discussion by a very split me, who wants to rave about bits they loved in this episode, but needs to confront some very concerning (or at least bungled) messaging.

As I'm not sure what will go on with the airing with Eurovision and the football, I'm just going to go ahead and post this one before the live airing, since I've seen plenty of other people already posting anyway. Spoilers below the read more.

Before we get started, some acknowledgement that I seem to have been partially spoiled regarding some reveals this episode. I'll hold my tongue for now, as I want to see how it comes together, but we'll see...

I love the absurdity of being cryogenically suspended just to keep hosting for centuries.

Ok, 2925 And it's the 803rd song content - assuming this grew out of an Earth thing (and follows Earth years) that would give us a potentially starting date of 2122?

As someone who's never watched Eurovision in my life, despite how much everyone ends up talking about it, I'm not sure what to make of the premise of this episode. Neat idea I think.

Oh yeah! Juno Dawson's writing!

WTF, that's Trenzalore! Literally stock footage from Time of the Doctor. Wasn't expecting to see it here (especially as I didn't think it would have been settled until circa. the 51st century).

A nice couple of easter eggs at the bottom, with the Zygon New Colony and Alpha Centauri. Trion too!

Also look at that resolution: 11920x6705.

Ok, Mrs Flood's here straight away.

Oh, good point regarding Earth from Belinda! This would seemingly imply Earth is fine, though absolutely it may not be a human derived thing. Trenzalore being a human colony (plus potentially the Zygon colony, if they're from Earth's refugee population) could be points towards Earth's state too?

Ah, the Doctor's joy at seeing Belinda enjoying herself.

So the vindicators are important to Flood. We'll see how accurate my prediction is I guess? "Link" seems to imply otherwise.

Does Freddi Fox's audio seem slightly off in this scene? Might just be my bluetooth headphone delay, but the lip sync seems weird. It's like he's barely annunciating?

"Hellians" huh? Could have done a bit more with this design, but whatever.

This is an insane number of people to kill off! wtf?!

"Not again" lol. I also see they're using the same freezing over in the vacuum visuals from Oxygen, which always seemed to be possibly inspired by GOTG.

Never mind, not dead I guess. Also mavity again! Interesting - as if Earth is gone then there's no real need to use that word again, since people presumably aren't actually speaking English here? I guess it can still be translated relative to Belinda I guess.

I wonder if Mrs Flood got sucked out too?

A DELTA WAVE?! (Remember the Doctor's plan in Parting of the Ways?)

Interesting detail on the betting. I guess that's more due to the broadcast than FTL communication specifically, but interesting thought.

Dugga fricking Doo

So much for Belinda enjoying herself...

"And I never got to tell him?" ??? I can't imagine Belinda has anything specific she knows she wants to tell the Doctor, so is this more of a subconscious thing, where she really is hiding another identity chameleon arch style? (Again, may have been partially spoiled here, but let's see.)

SUSAN SUSAN SUSAN, LOML!!!! HOLY SHIT!

I was spoiled on some sort of tease relating to her, but I wasn't expecting to actually see Carole Ann Ford today?!

This could link to the above, but I think it's a red herring. a) that's a sudden 'reveal', b) Bel still referred to the Doctor as her 'friend', and c) it's pretty notable we've got Carole Ann Ford here specifically.

(Also wow, she looks great here!)

Weird that this moment specifically reached the Doctor, is Susan telepathically reaching out to him right this moment, and that's what woke him?

Obviously the Doctor surviving in space is nothing new, but the frost melting is a bit interesting. I guess it was more just water settling on him, but makes me wonder if his body was also going to a sort of 'rest state', and the shock was enough to get his body temperature shooting up to keep him awake? We know Time Lords can survive a wide range of temperatures after all (oddly, despite being not that warm-blooded).

Also curious if there's actually oxygen here? The Doctor making sounds etc. would imply as such, as would everyone not really being dead, so maybe it's just a) low pressure, and b) cold?

Ooh, Gary's another nurse!

Ey, respiratory bypass system mention.

"Camp" lol.

"Mavitic suspension" oh come on... I'm trusting the low pressure idea.

"she/her" Yay, if a surprising courtesy to provide in talking to a terrorist in this situation.

Oh wow, and here we get to see the delta wave in action!

Pretty concerning that so many TVs (or future equivalent) are capable of broadcasting a delta wave?

Ok, so we're clearly getting a prejudice (and maybe Palestine?) thing with the Hellians. Kinda tired of stories where the oppressed go beyond being "well-intentioned extremists".

Also Cora is 100% a Hellian right? Horns hidden in her hair?

Graham Norton!

Oh so the song contest does originate from Earth? Interesting...

Definitely teasing the Susan connection, but I'm still sceptical.

"Revenge against the corporation" Hm?

Damn, and he we get the rageful side of the Doctor. The "ice" line reminds of that one: "there's a sliver of ice in his heart" from Series 7.

"That's not him" And Bel notices.

Oh, so horns are less hidden and instead cut. At least Cora is a lot more sympathetic. Also obvious real world parallels with her hiding this side of her.

And there's the corporation again. So they're responsible for Hellia. Is it a thing where the Hellians went into debt, and had to sell everything off?

"Your planet was invaded for honey?" Damn, I noticed the ad earlier, of course it comes back.

It may not be that absurd, but the sonic being able to be used so broadly and destructively against robots always feels a bit much, since it kinda implies most robots shouldn't be a threat. I get there's probably difficult levels of complexity to this based on the tech, but still.

Also the gun here, that tends to be particularly egregious. Again, I can excuse it for the sake of a story, but tend to prefer being a bit more restrained with these things.

Damn, rare we see the Doctor get to the point of actually trying to hurt someone for glee. Pretty ironic after what he just said about revenge. Also surprisingly fitting this comes with visions of Susan, given One's early attitude.

From reactions I'm seeing, I'm clearly not alone in finding this rough. Especially with no-one, not even Belinda, calling the Doctor out harder. I thought this would be the thing that pushed her back away from starting to enjoy travelling and become determined to leave, so I wasn't expecting her to coddle him so much.

Hard light holograms as a tractor beam is actually pretty clever.

"I'll do anything for you" lol

Did anyone find Mrs Flood among the rescued people, or has she been fine this whole time?

I wonder if they did any conlanging for this song, or if it's just syllables.

The intercuts of visuals of Hellia, a planet we don't even know, are honestly a great addition.

Side note - I think that alien behind the Doctor is an old prosthetic? I think i recognise it from Rings of Akhaten, plus some other Moffat era episodes.

Hmm... so in regard to real world parallels, what's the message here? As I said, it's always a bit uncomfortable when a member of an oppressed group acts as an extreme terrorist in a story, especially villainised as much as Kid here. On the other hand, in every other way, there's clearly a message here simultaneously celebrating the union of Eurovision and the like, while also seemingly condemning its failure on a political / world events front? Still pretty incoherent though. I'll go into a lot more detail later.

"I don't think I've ever told you, you're wonderful." Oh, is that it?

Ah, and of course this comes back to Gallifrey for the Doctor. Was thinking it, especially with his reaction to Cora's song. It's also clearly foreshadowing, given Susan's appearances (and, that thing I've been spoiled on).

Uh oh, Graham Norton here. It's going to be revealed this didn't come "from" Earth, but is more of a tribute to it, isn't it?

"Poor old Earth died many years ago." YEP!

"It is said the planet disintegrated, into rock and dust and ashes. All of the memories here were sieved from the rubble of a civilisation that died in a single second. Cause: Unknown." IT'S GOING TO BE THE VINDICTOR, I'M SO CERTAIN OF THIS. Did I actually get this right as far back as the first episode, that the TARDIS trying to get home is ripping Earth apart?

OMG, is him going there now going to be what causes it?!

CLOISTER BELL CLOISTER BELL

Jesus, that's a hard cut.

Ah, there's Flood. Here we go.

YEP IT'S THE RANI! Also bigeneration, which I also expected.

Hm... I was sceptical of Flood being the Rani, and in a weird way I still kind of am. Her new regeneration definitely has the right vibes at least, which is good! On the other hand, Flood herself doesn't really feel like the same character. Sure Time Lords can be eccentric and vary in personality wildly, but it's weird for an incarnation of the Rani to be so glib. At least the new one feels a lot more in character, which helps sell it.

Also interesting how oddly submissive and apologetic Flood is to her other incarnation, during and after the bigeneration? "Oh I'm ever so sorry ma'am." "Unfortunately, yes." Feels like there might be something else going on here.

Maybe there's something in-particular with the Flood incarnation, to try and induce the bigeneration, like taking cues from the Doctor after his bigeneration? Clearly the new Rani views her with some disdain, like she's a variation from the norm.

I'm sure other people are saying this, but it's so funny that after so many years theorising about Susan and/or the Rani returning, we now get both in one episode!

Overall Thoughts

Oh boy. I'm in two (or more) minds about this episode. To the point I think I need to properly segment this discussion.

Let's Talk Politics...

First off: the messaging of this story is kinda disasterous. I was going to be more forgiving and put it more aside, but seeing some other people's discussions does want me to emphasise the issues here, especially after not talking that much about it above. Plus it is leaving a worse and worse taste in my mouth the more I think about it.

In particular, the Hellians continues a bad trend (see things like The Zygon Inversion) of villainising portrayals of abused peoples while trying to provide real world commentary. While the trope has a long history and can definitely be interesting in cases, it is at it's worst here, putting the "extreme" in "well-intentioned extremist".

The Hellian's exact history is clearly a bit of a mix, between the capitalistic colonisation and enslavement of their world, and the way Cora has to hide her true self. This could be an allegory for a number of things (the latter partially making me compare it to a queer/trans metaphor) but obviously it's impossible to watch without thinking of Palestine. This villainous portrayal seems especially blind, considering the episode directly discusses how they've been targetted by propaganda, regarding ideas of things like cannibalism and witchcraft (they're literally called HELLIANS and are still getting demonised!). Meanwhile the status quo of the Intergalactic Song Contest is largely upheld, with the exception of allowing Cora to sing about her people. There's clearly some element of critique there, which is appreciated, but it is not enough. Note there's never any discussion of the Song Contest itself doing anything wrong, but rather just a general vibe of intolerance which Cora stands up against, and some offscreen "corporation" which doesn't even get its own name (other than the honey ad - which tbf I did appreciate as showing the price of such things and how petty it can be). There's half-hearted attempts of attacking the exploitation of colonised peoples for luxuries and the white/pink-washing of those crimes through media like Eurovision, which would be a good starting point, but the episode never commits.

Similarly, Dark!Doctor moments are hardly new, but this wasn't a good one. It's clearly meant to be a Witch's Familar / Face the Raven kind of thing, with him believing Belinda might be gone, and also being furious at someone's intent to commit genocide many times over. As he acknowledges, it's also his own trauma regarding Gallifrey coming out (he did NOT finish therapy). But it's rare we get to see him actually be physically violent in such a way, which makes it really stand out. It's only worse when you mix in the above politics. I compare it to The Zygon Inversion, but that's honestly doing that episode a disservice, as for all the Doctor's fury he still forgives Bonnie and the Zygons. I think something like this could have been saved if it were for two things (not necessarily both, but at least one of them):

All those people actually do die. While it doesn't change Kid's intentions, nor the plan to kill trillions with the delta wave, it does provide genuine, lethal stakes for the Doctor to become angry about, plus avoids the whiplash with the "happy-go-lucky" ending we get, of everyone in suspension being awoken.

Belinda is furious with the Doctor. Her reaction was not enough, which is kinda shocking, given the series has done so well with her realistic reactions previously. This should have been the breaking point that reminds her that, no, she was right: he is dangerous. I can sort of excuse her being relieved he's alive and understanding his trauma, if we take her to still be angry below the surface, but we needed much more.

One of the few possible saving graces of this, is that Wynn at least, despite being part of the plan is still treated sympathetically by the narrative, which is better than if it was just Cora, since it at least doesn't condemn all outrage and lets us see Kid as a particularly extreme terrorist / "psychopath" (again, not exactly a great trope to use). That is really picking at scraps though, and shows just how much the episode bungled this. There's clearly an intent to look at ideas of demonisation (again, just think about their names!), propaganda, whitewashing etc., which might be why I want to be generous to the writing, but it honestly falls flat because of Kid and his plan.

I'm pretty keen to know at this point how much of this came from Juno Dawson, from RTD, or from executive meddling. That might sound like a weak excuse, but given we are talking about Israel/Palestine and Eurovision, I really wouldn't be surprised if there was some interference from either the BBC or Disney. It would make some sense of some of the mixed messaging - but at the same time, the blame may very well be wholely on RTD and Juno and I don't want defend them if it's the case.

I don't know, I can technically make excuses all day and justify things in my head so I can better enjoy the rest of the episode, but I know that's not helpful. Ultimately I'm just disappointed the episode didn't do better.

As for how I'd haved tried and fixed it? Well, assuming we really do want to do "Die Hard at Space Eurovision", as in the original pitch, and for better-or-worse we really want a well-intentioned villain that has a point that can be applied to real-world issues, this could have been a hostage situation (rather than, you know, attempted mega-genocide). Maybe even have the hostage takers intentionally make sure the audience are alive and suspended, as they didn't want to actually hurt them all, but needed them out of their way so they can make their threat. It's still an antagonistic role, but one which is much more defendable and potentially justified, plus would allow a deep psychological / moral element, without racing to stop a countdown that will literally kill trillions. It also would allow them to actually, y'know, make demands which we can hear about and discuss, plus we could meet their enemy. It could even have had Bel and the Doctor on seperate sides of the hostage situation, which would've been a great way to use them both. Obvious potential risk would be it being considered a bit too close to real life, with regards to the hostages held by Hamas and Israel, but I'm sure you could make it work, framed more as a bank robbery style hostage situation. Even if this was impossible, this is just what I came up with off the top of my head in 10 minutes. I'm sure something better could be developed.

You Spend Decades Waiting for a Time Lady, then Two (Three) Come at Once!

Ok, now I've gotten that off my shoulders, time to go back to my usual optimistic self...

HOLY SHIT SUSAN AND THE RANI. Originally I wanted to make this section purely about them, before I decided I really had to discuss the politics of the episode in depth.

As mentioned, I had heard two spoilers: 1. that Flood would end up being the Rani bigenerated, and 2. that Susan may be back sometime this season, and there may be a hint at her this episode.

I certainly wasn't expecting Carole Ann Ford herself to show up this episode, which I'm so, so, so glad for. Even though it is surprising that Susan wouldn't have regenerated by now, given the Time War and everything, it always would have been disappointing if she came back with another face. So I'm so happy we got to see her. There's obviously meant to be a tease that she's regenerated into Belinda, but I strongly doubt that. Indeed I hope this is a sign she's alive and well telepathically communicating with the Doctor, and we'll see her in person.

I'm so curious where we'll find her though. Obviously she can't be on 22nd/23rd century Earth right now, unless she'll be found there once the timeline is restored. We saw her in the TARDIS, but I assume she isn't literally travelling in one (after all, if she was she'd probably be seen in another console room). It depends where she says the Doctor needs to "go back" too? It could be future Earth, or even modern day Earth (even another trap to get him back to Earth right now?). Honestly, I even think it might be Gallifrey itself? After all, that's where the Doctor always said he and Susan originally wanted to go back to, "some day". This feels particularly logical with the Rani's presence here too.

SPEAKING OF WHICH. OMG we've actually got the Rani on-screen. Even having heard about the leaks I was sceptical until I got spoiled about this episode specifically. Part of me was wondering if it would be a fake leak, akin to the filmed line with Missy where she calls herself the Rani.

I'm actually kind of relieved by the depiction thus far. I was pretty concerned at the idea of Mrs Flood being the Rani, as her personality largely doesn't seem to line up. She seems malicious and entitled, sure, but seemingly lacked any of the seriousness and scientific thinking of the Rani we know. Bigenerating now, however, into an incarnation that immediately takes on those traits makes it a lot more pallatable. Archie Panjabi is an amazing choice, and is immediately recognisable as the character.

Some immediately big questions we need to have answered:

Where has she been this whole time? No seriously, we've got to have some update on what happened to her during the Time War, right? If I had to guess, maybe she survived most of the war and was on Gallifrey on the final day, but immediately went renogade as soon as Gallifrey returned, a la the Master? We also know Flood was "hiding away", but for how long? Was a chameleon arch involved?

Why is Mrs Flood so different? Sure Time Lord regenerations vary greatly, but Mrs Flood is barely recognisable as the Rani, before and after the bigeneration. At most, we could say some of her companion outfit pastiches are references to the Rani dressing as Mel in Time and the Rani, but that's pretty much it. I guess her wanted to 'overthrow God' could be seen as a science / anti-myth motif too?

Building on the above, why the sudden dynamic and shift after the bigeneration? It could again just be Time Lord quirkiness, but it does feel as if something's off about Flood. Like she's an experiment, or an intentional diversion from the norm. Not only does the new Rani immediately dismiss her, barely admitting she's even "a Rani" (even calling her Mrs. Flood as they leave), but she is immediately subserviant herself.

Again possibly linked to the above, why another bigeneration? While it could be something to do with the current state of the universe (remember RTD suggested bigeneration might even have been retroactive for all the Doctor's incarnations?), it seems more likely it would be part of some sort of experiment, maybe based on the Doctor. This could also be linked to Flood's oddness, potentially.

And finally, of course, what is her plan and motive here? (A bit more on this below.)

I kind of love that the person we've seen repeatedly breaking the fourth wall turned out to just be another Time Lord, rather than making it purely a god and Doctor thing. I'm also keen to see how she'll interact with everything/everyone else. Does she know about the Timeless Child (if so, she could potentially be a pretty strong parallel to Tecteun, and may want to experiment on the Doctor)? Does she know what the Master did? What's her reaction to the current state of the universe, with its decaying rationality and growth in magic? As a scientist, is she trying to reverse this?

Hopefully, we might get some more Academy era stuff, when she and the Doctor finally interact, this time not purely about the Master? (Imagine if we got an Ushas or Deca namedrop!)

...or maybe do make it about the Master, and let her be exasperated with them on-screen all over again. Bring him back too, so we can really get the full Mark of the Rani experience!

Everything Else

Anyway, for all the messy analogies, the episode as a whole was fairly fun. I enjoyed the setting and the side characters. Kind of a shame we didn't get more focus on the music? A lot of continuity references this episode too, between the familar planets (seriously, Trenzalore?! I can't believe they just straight up through that archive footage in there) and the delta wave.

Interesting to note, with all the Doctor / Master parallels this season, Kid kind of fits into that too? He literally lacks a real name, and is acting to revenge exploitation and the destruction of his homeworld. Mix in the Doctor's rage for Gallifrey's destruction being triggered, and we can see both of them: the Master, destroying the Time Lords in light of learning about the exploitation of the Timeless Child, and the Doctor showing that same rage for his destroyed world that Kid has himself.

Graham Norton of all people being used to deliver the wham line that Earth really is gone in this time was such a choice, which I can't help but respect. As mentioned above, I remain locked in on my "the TARDIS ripped Earth apart" theory, but this still leaves a number of questions. Why was the TARDIS unable to reach Earth in the first place? How is this part of the Rani's plan? Is it just revenge, or something more?

Logicially, if she's getting involved, it could very much be something "Time Lord-y" which fits well with my theory she's targetting the Web of Time. But why would she want to tear it down? To build something better? Or is she just experimenting with reality in general - possibly via the Doctor, seeing just how much she can use him to reshape history? The latter maybe supported by her biregeneration, if it suggests she's deliberately experimenting with him specifically, probably specifically because of his connection with the Timeless Child.

#Doctor Who #Fifteenth Doctor #The Interstellar Song Contest #DW Theory #DW Meta #DW Critical #(a rare tag for me - but deserved here)#DW Spoilers #Doctor Who Spoilers #The Rani #Susan Foreman

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