#and i've hardly studied or done anything for any of them

[arcane-strangeness]

sometimes it feels like all my problems would be solved if i smashed my chromebook to pieces with my reinforced Spirit Halloween nailbat and then slept for several weeks straight

[getosbigballsack]

Random thought!

But just imagine 35 years old CEO Gojo Satoru falling in love with the young woman whom he hired to be his surrogate.

Desperate at this point to fulfill his role as CEO and the heir of his family clan, he knew he had no other choice but to find someone who would be willing to give birth to his child.

He thought his ex-wife was the one. After all, she was pregnant when they were still together. When the due date came around and Satoru heard that she gave birth to a healthy baby boy, he was over the moon until he saw the baby for himself.

He knew that that wasn't his baby. Blonde hair and green eyes? No one in his family had blonde hair and green eyes. So he asked for a DNA test. His ex-wife refused at first, but then she gave in, and when the test came back, the baby was 99.99%, not his child.

He was broken. He served her divorce papers the following day, and after everything he had done for her, this is how she chose to repay him. As if cheating wasn't enough, she had to get pregnant and gave birth to another man’s child.

So now here he is sitting in a cafe waiting for the surrogate.

...

You didn't have much of a choice. 26 years of age and still struggling to get your bachelor's degree just so that you could live a comfortable life and be financially stable.

But with the way things are right now, you knew that it was an impossible task to complete your final year. You could hardly manage to pay your school fee. You kept on getting rejection letters from student loans, and let's face it, you barely had time to study to even try to get a scholarship.

So now you're stuck looking for a quick and easy way to make money. You had little options, and prostitution just so happened to be one of them. And you almost turned to it, that's until you heard that a "rich" CEO was looking for a woman who was willing to give birth to his heir.

So now that's how you ended up in the situation to you're in currently. Nervously playing with your fingers as sat across from no other than Gojo Satoru.

"Your name is Y/N?"

"Yes, and you're Mr. Gojo Satoru."

He shook his head yes while taking a sip of his coffee. "I hope you don't mind meeting like this. I thought it would be better to meet in a more casual setting instead of my office. I don't want to intimidate you."

"That's fine, Mr. Gojo."

"Before we get started, are you sure you want to do this? I want you to be absolutely sure because once you sign the contract, there is no backing out of it."

You shook your head yes before responding, "it's something that I've thought about deeply, Mr. Gojo, and after reading through the contract a few times, I came to the conclusion that I would rather have a baby for a stranger who is willing pay to me more than what my school fee is worth than go and become a prostitute."

He was shocked by your words but said nothing of it. It wasn't his place to say anything or have any comment about your personal life.

"Well then, I guess we can go ahead and meet with our lawyers and sign the contract."

"Lawyers? I thought... I can't afford a lawyer right now," you said to him.

He chuckled, "I figured that that would be the case. No worries, I had already hired a lawyer for you."

"You did?" You asked. Just then, the door to the cafe burst opened, and in came a man and a woman dressed in suits.

"Ah, there they are. Right on time."

Gojo stood up and greeted the lawyers before he introduced you to them. The man, Mr. Nanami Kento is his lawyer, and the woman Tetsu Akari is your lawyer. First impression she has a kind and calm aura around her.

But let's move down the line.

You four all sat and discussed what was on the contract, and before you signed it, Gojo asked, "Is there anything that you need to clarify before signing the contract."

"Yes, uhm, it's about the procedure. Are we going to uhm... have... uhm intercourse to conceive the baby?"

"We could since it's the safe way to go about this, but no," he answered with a small smile on his face.

"Ok then, where do I sign."

This is the beginning of how Gojo Satoru fell in love with the woman he hired to be his surrogate.

[12raccoonsinadress]

Hi! So I'd like to request a Tenya Iida x Fem! Reader fic. Where the reader is friends with Tenya until Tenya walks in on Reader getting dressed and it leads to smut and fluff after?

Sensible Choices: Tenya x Fem!Reader (Smut)

Woo! Here's the longest one I've done in a while! Hope it was worth the wait ~💚

Art Cred: Ari Libella (arilibella.artstation.com)

Word Count: 5,280

Third POV

Tenya and you made very good friends. In a world where things were so confusing and uncertain, where nearly everyone had some society altering ability and villains could attack at any time, he made sense. To you, he was uncomplicated. You both valued things like routine, education, and wanting the world to be a safer place. So to others, the two of you being together was a very logical idea, even if only as friends and colleagues. You never really assessed how you felt about Tenya, leaving those thoughts to poke at you when you laid in bed at night, but still left ignored. He was one of your closest friends, and you wouldn't ruin that over what you deemed a silly crush. You couldn't handle the idea of him turning you down and losing him as a friend. He was too integrated into your routine.

Part of your weekly routine was studying with Tenya in your dorm on Friday evenings between dinner and curfew. Responsible as always, he made sure to have his things and be out at least 30 minutes before curfew started, just in case you needed to do anything before bed. Tonight was another one of those useful, but otherwise unnoteworthy study sessions. The two of you mostly worked on your math homework, tackling some of the more tricky lessons in the coming week's test. Between the two of you, it started to make sense.

As you closed the textbook for the evening, you stood up, stretching.

"It looks like it's getting late."

You noted. He checked his watch, closing his textbook as well.

"It seems so. I suppose I should be heading out then."

He stood now as well, gathering his things. You watched as he did, humming slightly.

"You'll have to let me know what you score on the test."

"I'm sure we'll both do well."

He said, turning to you with a smile.

"And if not, we can always go back and review what we missed."

You smiled too. He was so positive when it came to school work, it was a bit infectious. You usually didn't feel too strongly about homework or testing, but he still managed to make the entire thing seem more satisfying to you. You couldn't remember a time before him where you actually looked forward to studying.

He went over to your door, turning back once, briefly.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Y/n. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Tenya."

You felt a slight warmth in your chest as he stepped out. His smile was so sweet. It always filled you with such nice feelings. You didn't choose to dwell on that too much longer though. Instead, you turned your attention to changing into your pajamas and getting ready for bed. You went to your dresser, pulling out your pajamas, laying them neatly on the bed before beginning to undress.

Tenya was hardly halfway to his dorm when he reached for his phone and realized he didn't have it. He didn't think much of it, other than that he must've left it sitting on your desk. He turned heel and began back to your dorm.

Tenya was mostly sure his feelings for you were platonic, no different from the ways he thought about Ochako or Izuku. Then again, he never caught himself wondering how soft Ochako's lips were, or feel a swell of pride in his chest when making Izuku laugh. These things seemed specific to you. He tried to ignore it for the most part. After all, he was your friend, and you were his. His prettiest, most intelligent, and sweetest friend. Nothing more. At least, that's what he told himself.

It didn't register that more than a moment had passed between him closing the door and opening it again, which is probably why it didn't even cross his mind to knock before entering your room.

"Y/n, it seems I left my..."

His voice died in his throat as he saw you. How could it not have? You were standing there, topless, in nothing more than your panties, sleep shirt in hands. His eyes grew wide and his face turned red, mirroring the expression on your own face. The door quickly slammed shut, but it was too late. He'd seen you, nearly naked, and that brief moment was all it took for the image to be burned into his mind.

You quickly got dressed, nearly tripping over yourself as you did. You couldn't believe it. He saw you practically naked. It made your entire body flush red with embarrassment. You wanted to simply die in that moment, just so you'd never have to face him again. You wondered what in the world he could be thinking now. And the slightly dirtier thought, creeping into your mind from the pits of your stomach, you wondered what he thought about what he saw.

He stood on the other side of your door for a long moment, holding it shut as if it would somehow hold his own mind at bay. His first thought was noting how beautiful your body was, immediately followed by a heavy feeling of shame in even indulging the thought. It was completely inappropriate and he shouldn't entertain such devious things. He left to his dorm, not willing to attempt a second retrieval of his phone. He didn't need it badly enough to face you right now. He closed himself in his dorm and sat on the edge of his bed for a long moment, silently. The first thing he'd have to do when he saw you again would be to beg for forgiveness for barging in. And if you were so upset you didn't want to talk to him, it was completely warranted and he'd take any repercussions without argument. He should have knocked. Without question.

Though against his own will, he laid awake that night thinking about you.

Aside from getting his phone back, you and Tenya avoided each other for the following days. Neither of you really knew how to address what had happened, but at the same time it was too awkward to talk without addressing it. The week felt like a year. Occasionally, you'd glance over at him in class, and almost every time you'd see him look away from you. You quickly looked back to the front of the room or at your work, trying not to think too much about why he could be staring. Maybe he was trying to think about how to talk to you again. Maybe he wanted to apologize, but wasn't sure how. ... Maybe he was undressing you with his eyes.

It was getting harder to ignore your crush on Tenya. It was like the more you avoided one another, the more you longed for him. You wanted to imagine he liked what he saw. So much that he couldn't bare to face you. It sounded silly in your mind, and yet the thoughts ebbed into your day dreams more and more as the week went on. If only you knew how right you were.

He'd essentially fashioned his own personal hell by seeing you naked. He couldn't find the right way to apologize to you, so he had to avoid talking to you until he did. He didn't want to lie to you either. Your body was beautiful, but he couldn't say that. He wished he could have seen you under more consensual circumstances, but he definitely couldn't say that. Even with all the attempts to come up with a good apology, he couldn't stop imagining it. Imagining you standing there in those cute little panties and nothing else. It made evenings... difficult to say the least. He wouldn't touch himself though. No matter how much he ached for some kind of relief. As your friend, as someone who respects you so much, he couldn't touch himself while imagining your body. Not without permission. Which he was most certain he didn't have.

Soon enough, but also what felt like twelve years later, it was Friday evening. You paced. Now is when you and Tenya would be studying together. It was almost impossible for you to focus on studying on your own when all you could think about was how incomplete it felt. This wasn't the routine. It was all wrong. You couldn't study in these conditions. You were just about to text him when you heard a knock on your door. You went and opened it.

There before you was a very nervous Tenya, his backpack held by his side. He wouldn't look at you.

"If you aren't busy, I think we need to talk. I also brought my school work, in case you'd rather study instead."

He said, almost uncomfortable. You let him in and he looked at you now, expectant. As much as you wish things could be normal and the two of you could just go over the test from that week, you knew it was time to talk about what happened.

"We should probably talk.."

He walked in, saw you, and left. It didn't feel like you could say much about it personally to start the conversation. Thankfully, you didn't have to. He dropped his bag on the floor before bowing about as deeply as he could without dropping to his knees.

"I'm so incredibly sorry, Y/n! I didn't even think to knock at the time, but that is absolutely no excuse for barging in on you! If you feel it necessary to report me for my inappropriate behavior, I'll accept whatever punishment I am given with no argument!"

You looked at him wide eyed for a moment, surprised by the sudden outburst. You expected an apology, but it hadn't even crossed your mind to report him.

"Tenya, I'm not going to report you. It was an accident."

He looked up now, standing upright again. He looked almost panicked or confused.

"What? Surely you don't think such unbecoming behavior is appropriate."

"I mean, it wasn't polite to not knock and, um, it was sort of embarrassing for me, but it wasn't really inappropriate."

This didn't seem to make him relax. If anything it seemed like he got more tense in response.

"You don't understand. I saw you naked-"

You blushed, not getting why he was being so insistant.

"You don't need to remind me-"

"I shouldn't have seen you like that. It was private. I should be punished for the way it's made me think about you."

The words seemed to rush out faster than he could process them, but once they were out, he froze. He hadn't meant to say that much, but you were being so calm, so sweet. Such a good friend. Too good for they way he'd imagined holding your bare body against his.

"What do you mean by that, Tenya?"

He swallowed hard, looking at the floor, ashamed. He was a horrible friend. You deserved to know that. He was a pervert, and you should be able to report him as such.

"I... I haven't been able to purge the image of you from my mind. It's all I've been able to think about. I wish I had found a way of telling you how beautiful you were before this."

His fists clenched, head still hung in shame. You blushed. He was admitting to having fulfilled your smutty little desires. He had been thinking about your body. He wanted it. He continued, his voice more tense.

"Anything I say now will be tainted by the countless filthy thoughts I've had of you. Between my perverted day dreams, I've only just realized how much I care for you, not only as my friend, but as the person I want to wake to every morning and fall asleep beside every night. Not just because of how beautiful you are, but because this week has been torture without you by my side."

You stepped closer to him, only to see he had tears in his eyes. It made your heart ache. You reached up and held his face.

"I don't deserve your sweetness. Not after proving I'm such a terrible friend. If you can't trust me now, why would you ever even begin trust me as a lover?"

Lover. He was so tense, even compared to how tense he normally was. You couldn't imagine what this week had done to him with all this guilt. He was practically falling apart, and for what? Accidentally seeing you naked? So you did what any logical person would do in your situation. You kissed him. It was soft, gentle. You felt the wetness of his tears in your hands. He didn't pull away from you, as you had almost expected. His arms wrapped around you in a tight embrace and he kissed you back. You held the kiss longer than you had intended. It felt like he needed this. And maybe you did too. You had missed him, and what could have made for a better reunion after such a stressful week? Eventually, when you pulled away for air, he loosened his hold of you.

"I.. Y/n, I don't understand."

"You weren't the only one having dirty thoughts this week, Tenya. I forgive you."

He blushed, more than a little surprised. You decided to elaborate.

"I was definitely embarrassed, but at the same time, I really hoped you liked what you saw."

You admitted. He seemed a little concerned.

"Was there any doubt in your mind that I wouldn't? You're gorgeous, how could I not?"

"Not really doubt. I just hoped you liked what you saw enough to think about me a little more."

You tried to explain in the least perverted way possible. He glanced away, thinking.

"As long as we're being honest. I'll admit that the memory of you gave me some, ah, uncomfortable evenings. Just to say, you have nothing to worry about."

"Uncomfortable?"

"Yes. Thinking about you, your body, in a quite... erotic way. But, of course I couldn't do something as disrespectful as relieve myself while thinking about you. I'm already ashamed to have indulged in my thoughts of you as much as I had."

On one hand, it was incredibly sweet that he suffered as much as he did out of wanting to be respectful towards you. At the same time, however, you wouldn't have complained at all if he had gotten off thinking about you. You would have taken it as a compliment. You bit the inside of your lip, thinking.

"Thinking about me all this week got you that worked up, but you still haven't touched yourself?"

You asked, clarifying almost. He blushed a dark red, but nodded in confirmation.

"I'm sure you're awfully pent up."

He looked at you. You were trying to tell him something, he was sure of it. He just wasn't sure what yet. You continued.

"I just want you to know, for future reference, you have full permission to touch yourself while thinking of me."

His eyes lit up, like you'd suddenly taken all suffering off his shoulders.

"You mean it? You're completely sure?"

"I am. But, only if I'm allowed to think of you too."

Truthfully, you tried to avoid the thought, but now that you knew he liked you so much, you wanted to indulge.

"You want to think about me while pleasuring yourself?"

He asked, voice somewhat softer. He didn't understand.

"I haven't done anything particularly scandalous around you to fuel thoughts of that nature though... Have I?"

"You didn't have to. I'll think of you regardless."

You definitely planned to at least. It felt dirty just talking about it, but so exciting. You gathered he felt the same way based on the color of his face. He was thinking.

"That hardly seems fair. Surely, there's something you could ask of me to make things more even."

That was a tempting offer. You pursed your lips, thinking. A very filthy idea came to mind.

"You could always return the favor.. and I wouldn't mind letting you look for a little longer."

You suggested. He buffered for a moment, processing the absolutely scandalous thing you just suggested. It was beyond filthy and he should say no, especially not in the dorms. You were seniors. You were supposed to lead by example. And yet...

"That seems fair. I would appreciate getting more time to admire you."

"Why don't you start then."

He nodded. It was only fair. An equal trade. So he pulled away from you now. You sat on the edge of your bed, watching him. He took a deep breath before taking off his shirt. This part wasn't too hard, you'd seen him shirtless before. The context made him feel a bit strange though. He looked at you, assessing your reaction. He blushed when he did. You were so obviously staring, then again he supposed that was the point. Still, the way your eyes seemed to trace over his body made his heart pound.

"Should I continue?"

He asked. In part he was nervous. He'd never undressed around a girl before. The other half of him was excited, more than he should be, at the prospect of you lusting for him. You nodded, leaning back a little.

"If you're comfortable continuing."

He couldn't for certain tell if he was comfortable per say, but he knew he wanted to make things even with you. Not to mention the other feelings. So he did. He unbuckled his belt and undid his pants. There was a moment of hesitation. He looked at you.

"You intend on undressing as well, right?"

It felt odd being the only one, but it probably felt worse for you when it happened last time, since you hadn't agreed to being seen that way. And maybe he was also just eager. You pursed your lips, thinking for a moment.

"You first. We'll take turns."

You wanted to enjoy the show. It'd be too distracting to try undressing while also trying to watch him. Though blushing, he decided to finish, taking his pants off and setting them aside. He looked at you now. He felt completely naked, despite still being in his boxers. It was a strangely exciting feeling. You stood up after a moment, walking over to him. You didn't touch, as much as you wanted to.

"You can sit if you'd prefer."

You said simply. In the spirit of making things fair, he did go and sit where you had been sitting, focusing more on you now than the tinge of embarrassment he felt from being undressed.

You took off your shirt, though you decided you'd keep your bra on for the time being. You felt your heart pounding at just how strange this whole situation was. You didn't question it for now, pushing your pants down and stepping out of them. You kicked them off to the side, looking at Tenya now. His eyes were fixated on you and your body. You could see the subtle heaviness to his breathing. His hands fidgeted slightly. That wasn't the only thing you noticed as you looked him over though. You had noted the bulge in his boxers before, assuming it was just the way they fit and nothing more. It was more pronounced now, bigger. It made you blush harder than you already were.

It was tense for a moment, both of you looking at each other, but not moving. He was the one to finally say something, his voice almost sounded ragged.

"Y/n, would it be too much to ask if I could touch you?"

You were a little surprised by the requests, but even so you stepped forward, standing in front of him. He looked up at you from where he was sat on your bed. Gently, and without a word, you reached for his hands and brought them to your waist. His touches were soft, just trailing along your sides, feeling how your skin felt against his hands. They found their way to your hips, resting there. You didn't know what all you had expected, but it was more than that. You had expected him to reach up to your chest, maybe back around to your ass, or just something pushing things a little further. You weren't completely underwhelmed however. After a moment, he leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your abdomen.

"I wish I could find the right way to tell you how beautiful you are. Just saying it doesn't feel like enough."

He said softly, not looking up at you. You ran your fingers through his hair, an action that seemed to be enough to bring his attention up to your face. He was being too respectful, holding back when the deepest parts of your desires wanted him to snap, to take you, to ravage you. You knew he wouldn't. He was your kind, respectful Tenya. So you leaned down and kissed him, delighting in how the action made him squeeze your hips tighter in response as he kissed you back. You pushed into him more, and he pulled you in happily, helping you fit in his lap with his arms around your waist. You ran the tip of your tongue against his lips and he took the hint to deepen the kiss, taking control of it and keeping it gentle.

When you finally had to break the kiss to breathe, he looked at you in awe. You spoke before he did.

"If it's not too much, I'd much rather indulge in you now than have to wait until later."

"Are you suggesting we have sex?"

He asked, almost baffled. You nodded, though a little embarrassed about how he reacted.

"It doesn't have to be all the way, if you don't want it to be."

"What about you? And what about protection?"

He knew he didn't keep condoms around. Truth be told, he didn't foresee himself needing them any time soon.

"I've been on birth control since first year."

"Why?"

"Um. Period problems."

He wasn't as put off by the response as you expected, just thinking now. Something seemed to change after a moment, like a new sense of confidence had hit him.

"Alright then. Y/n, I would be honored for you to be the first person I have sex with."

Your heart skipped hearing that, despite the slight silliness in how serious he sounded. You smiled.

"I would be honored for you to be my first too, Tenya."

He smiled wide. You practically melted. His hands moved up your sides.

"If we're continuing, may I remove this as well?"

He asked, referring to your bra. You nodded. Before you could reach back to help, he was already fumbling with the hooks. You let him for a little bit. It was cute to see him try at least. Eventually, he seemed to figure it out, sighing a bit in relief.

"It would appear I'm going to be needing more practice with these."

You laughed softly, sliding the straps off your shoulders.

"There will be time for that in the future."

He blushed at the mere implications of not just getting to be with you once, but again in the future. It would mean you were really his. That he was really yours. He didn't get to think about that too much though because now your exposed chest was right there in his face and he probably couldn't even tell you what his name was anymore. You guided his hands up to your chest, wanting to let him touch, wanting to feel his hands on all of your more sensitive spots. He immediately started to squeeze and pinch, leaning forward to kiss and lick as well. For someone so new at this, he seemed to know exactly what he wanted. And what he wanted was to feel and taste you. His tongue laved over your nipple, his hand squeezing your other breast. You gasped softly.

With nothing but your panties and his boxers to serve as a buffer, you could feel how hard he was, pressing against you. As a finger flicked one of your nipples, your hips instinctively pushed forward, grinding into him. He groaned quietly at the feeling. You huffed, head falling back slightly. You felt his hands move, one staying firm on your hip. You took that moment to catch your breath and regain some of your composure. It was short lived as you realized what he'd been doing. He lifted you with ease, laying you on your back on the bed. He'd been thinking about how he wanted you. He pulled your panties off of you, eyes trained on your face, looking for any sign he should stop. The only clue he received one way or the other was you spreading your legs for him once they were off.

You weren't sure what you expected, maybe for him to start working you open so he could properly fuck you. Which you would be completely and utterly happy with. It seemed he had other plans though as he leaned down, hiking your legs over his broad shoulders. You covered your mouth as he buried his face between your legs. His tongue seemed to follow some sort of pattern that you couldn't quite follow, occasionally brushing your clit and making you squirm. It seemed the sensitive spot didn't go unnoticed, because he focused there for a moment, and when you started to push your hips against his face and whine beneath him, he knew he must've found a good spot. His attention stayed there, toying with your clit with his tongue for as long as you could bare it. You could feel your orgasm building up, though you weren't sure he realized. You moaned out a little louder, which seemed to encourage him more. Your hand reached down into his hair, tugging slighting. You gasped, body tensing as you came on his face. He worked you through it and maybe a little longer than he needed to before pulling up, the lower half of his face wet from you.

"I could stay there forever if you'd let me."

He said, slightly out of breath. You reached for him, wanting him to come closer. You wanted him to lay beside you so you could return the favor and move. He gently took your hand, but didn't fully come to you as you wanted. Instead, he spoke in a low tone you hadn't heard him use before.

"If I may make a request, I don't want you to do the same."

You looked at him, confused. He continued.

"If you can manage it, I've spent nights now imagining how gorgeous you'd look riding me."

He hoped it wasn't asking too much of you. After seeing your breasts, he couldn't help but imagine the way they'd bounce while you bounced in his lap. It was a perverted fantasy, but one he still wanted to see fulfilled if you'd have him. You blushed fairly dark, but pulled him down. He let you this time, laying beside you. You kissed him, tasting yourself on his lips before straddling his lap. You wanted him, and he wanted you too. So why not satisfy you both?

He watched you in awe as you lined him up with you. You felt the tip press against your opening and how it slid in with more ease than you expected. No wonder he wanted to eat you out first. It got you worked up enough to take him. He groaned, grabbing a hold of your hips. You had to steady your breathing as you slowly started to take more of him. It was a stretch, though one you took like such a good girl. You stopped, almost fully down, wanting to take a second. Without a thought, he couldn't help but help you finish out, thrusting up into you. You let something between a gasp and a moan out.

"I'm sorry-"

He said quickly. He was so excited for you, so needy, it was hard to control himself. But he would. He didn't want to hurt you, especially while you were fulfilling his perverted fantasies. You had to take a moment before moving, pulling about half off before slowly sinking back down onto him. He watched you as you moved, loving the sight of your beautiful body taking his cock so well. You started to gradually increase your pace, moaning softly as you did. Before long, all you could hear were the sounds of your own moans, his quiet noises, and the slapping of you bouncing in his lap, just like he wanted.

You felt your orgasm building. You had hoped to get him off first, but it was hard for you to tell if he was getting as close as you were. Your movements started to slow, much to your own distress. He caught on, holding your hips tight and fucking up into you faster than the pace you had set before. You cried out his name, head falling back, inner walls squeezing around him as he continued to fuck you through it. It didn't take much more than that for him to pull you down, pushing into you as deeply as he could, and cum inside of you. Your name came out in a tight stutter as he did.

You both stayed like that for a long moment, taking in what had just happened, breathing in the now still room. You fell forward, laying on top of him. He wrapped his arms around you.

"Y/n."

He whispered. You looked up at him.

"I.. apologies for the way I went about all of this. And even though it would appear we've done things somewhat out of order, I was hoping you would... be my partner?"

You smiled, kissing him gently.

"I'd love to be your partner."

He smiled too.

"Perfect."

He pulled out of you now, making you both sigh at the feeling.

"Lay here and relax. Let me get things cleaned up."

He laid you down on the bed gently, getting up and going to your desk to get some tissues to clean everything up. After that, he pulled his boxers on and went over to your dresser. He pulled out a new pair of panties for you and a sleep shirt. He brought them back over to the bed. You went to get up so you could get dressed, but he stopped you.

"No, allow me. You've done enough tonight."

You blushed, but let him pull the shirt over your head and slide the panties up your legs. He placed the clothes you'd been wearing before in your hamper. He took a moment, thinking before looking back at you.

"Do you want me to go downstairs and get you water or anything else?"

He offered. You held out your arms for him.

"Come here, Tenya."

He smiled softly.

"Allow me to turn off the lights then."

He did as you asked now, coming back over to the bed. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him back into bed with you. He didn't argue, wrapping his arms around you as well, rubbing your back gently. He kissed the top of your head.

"I'm glad you forgave me."

He said softly. You couldn't help but smile.

"Of course, my love."

You felt him heat up at you calling him that.

"My love."

He repeated quietly, holding you a little tighter. You snuggled into him more, letting yourself get comfortable so you could sleep. Tonight wore you out and you were looking forward to waking up in the arms of not just your best friend, but your boyfriend and the love of your life.

[sweetbunpura]

Filled with Static pt.3

Summary: Yuu was already fed up before coming to Playful Land and now that it's over... She has some very choice words for she has reached her boiling point...

Part 1 - Part 2

"Ace-"

"What?" Ace rubbed the bruise on his cheek as they entered Heartslabyul. "I heard it enough from the others, I ain't gotta hear it from you two too."

Trey and Cater look at each other as the first year shoves his hands into his pockets.

"Ace, we're trying to say we're all at fault here." Trey tries again.

Cater adds in. "Yeah, Ace. We didn't do anything to stop you-"

"But you did!" He shouted. "You both said he looked shady and I ignored you two!"

"True, but we also didn't physical stop-"

"Where do I even try to begin?"

The three of them paused as they entered the lounge. Riddle and Deuce were standing there, the first year was behind the seething dorm leader.

"I'm very sure I deliberately told you NOT to go to that amusement park." Riddle glared at the three of them. "So why did you feel the need to disobey me? And what about you two, Trey and Cater?"

Ace was silent as he looked off to the side while Trey took charge of the situation.

"Riddle, I followed him out of the dorm-"

"And yet you chose now to bring him back?"

"We ran into some problems-"

"I assume the problem was spending all day at that park."

Riddle's tone was cold and sharp, cutting off any attempt Trey had at trying to give an excuse. The vice leader deflated, not willing to try and continue for an out.

"I believed you to be better than this, Trey." He crossed his arms and directed his attention towards Cater. "And you?"

"Hahahaha...." Cater rubbed the back of his head. "I, um, Lilia-chan and I thought it would be a good idea to.... uh, allow Kalim to go to the park?"

"With Jamil's permission?"

"About that?"

"You too!?" Riddle began to shout. "What could drive you both to even chose to do this!? I understand that I've been lenient on the rules lately, but certainly not to this degree!"

Cater and Trey flinched while Ace rolled his eyes. Before Riddle could start his tangent, Deuce chimed in.

"Ace, why do you have a bruise on your cheek?"

"Huh?" Ace rubbed the mark. "Oh. Yuu punched me."

"What?" Deuce looked confused. "Why would she- I mean I get it, it's you. But Yuu hardly punches any of us-"

"Wrong, Juice, she doesn't punch you." Ace scoffed. "She punched me for no reason-"

"Ace." Cater's voice had lost his playfulness. "Yuu got hurt, you said the off comment sentence of 'why don't you just go back home?'"

"You what?" Deuce's face twist in rage and he grabbed Ace's collar. "Did you forget that she can't!?"

"Of course I forgot! It didn't cross my mind when I said it!"

"Nothing every does, Ace, and that's the problem! She's told us about how much she'd love to go back home and you rubbed it in!?" Trey and Cater tried prying Deuce's hands off of the red head.

"Fuck off and let go of me!" Ace joined his upperclassman's hands

"Ace, you do this every time! You mock Yuu for not knowing the holidays we have and for the things she doesn't know! You forget she's not from here!"

"You don't have to rub it in!" Ace snarled. "Everyone else already did!"

"You're so fucking bullheaded and insensitive, no wonder Yuu doesn't tell you shit!"

"Deuce, let him go. You don't need to waste your breath on him anymore." Riddle commanded.

The blue haired first year glared at the heart solider before dropping him on the floor like he was a pile of trash. Riddle studied Ace as he directed his attention to Trey and Cater

"....Am I wrong for assume that Yuu left?"

"....No." Trey's shoulders sagged. "She left and didn't take Grim with her. Riddle, she's.... she's done with us. Done with NRC."

His eyes widened and it took a few seconds before he spoke. "....What happened."

With much hesitation, Trey and Cater begin to recount what happened as Ace crossed his arms and added in commentary. By the end of it, Riddle was livid and trying to hold not only himself back but Deuce as well.

"I have no words." Riddle struggled to control his breathing. "You three have done irreversible damage all in the span of a day. Get out of my sight, I'll decide your punishment later. Come, Deuce."

"Yes, Sir."

They depart as they leave the trio there to ruminate on what they've done. Eventually, Cater shuffles off to his room while Ace leaves for his in a huff. Trey stands in the middle of the Lounge and feel his heart drop to his feet before he too departs for his room. The next day, all three of them are awoke by a text message simply stating:

All named students come to Crowley's office at once. Ace Trappola, Cater Diamond, Trey Clover, Leona Kingscholar, Jack Howl, Jade Leech, Floyd Leech, Kalim Al-Asim, Vil Schoenheit, Ortho Shroud, and Lilia Vanrouge.

[solomiracle]

can u do a reader who secretly has a nerdy side, and could talk about their favorite thing (animal, anime, series, book, game, etc) for hours?

awawawa!!! i've never really done a request like this before, so it might not be the best >m< but without further ado >:D

The Brothers With a Reader Who Has a Secret Nerdy Side

— — ☆ — —

LUCIFER will be surprised upon learning about this side of you. Most of the time, he won't actively encourage you to talk about your interest, and will only listen to you talk about it for a little while. But sometimes, when he calls you to his study or room to relax and have a bit of demonus, he'll ask about something related to your interest so he can listen to you ramble. He finds your voice more beautiful than any of his cursed records, after all.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are theatre, alcohol, and factories.

-☆-

MAMMON will be surprised, maybe even a little confused when he learns this. Depending on your interest, he'll either not care, ask you a bunch of questions, or try to somehow make it related to his new money making scheme. Regardless of his reaction, he'll spend the next few days "sneakily" inquiring more info about your interest (aka pestering you about it), and then buying something related to it; say a plushie of your favorite character or book on the subject. And of course, he'll be tsundere as ever when presenting it to you.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are vehicles, jewelry, and mansions.

-☆-

LEVIATHAN will be ecstatic when he finds out! A fellow nerd!!! Even if your interests aren't otaku related (but let's be real, he'll definitely be able to connect them to otaku culture in some way), he'll happily listen to you ramble. If you want, he'll even be willing to buy any merch of your interests if there's some on Akuzon! He'll probably stutter and blush when suggesting this, though.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are anything otaku related (mainly magical girls), video games, and the ocean.

-☆-

SATAN will be intrigued. If he already has knowledge of your interest, it'll end up with you two going back and forth, discussing your favorite details, maybe even learning new facts about it together. If he doesn't have the knowledge, he'll listen to you talk, taking in all the things he finds interesting and looking them up later. Maybe he doesn't care for your interest, but he wants to be well informed and understand the things you like.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are magic, human history, and book series.

-☆-

ASMODEUS... wouldn't really care that much lol. But he's always thrilled to learn more about you, and would love to listen to you talk about your interest. If it's something that can be made into a cute pin or a patch, like an animal or logo from your favorite series, he would love to sew it onto one of your bags or jackets for you. Make sure to thank him properly for it!

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are fashion, horoscopes, and rituals.

-☆-

BEELZEBUB will be fascinated upon learning this. He gets to see a whole new side to you, one that can get you talking for hours? Cool! He'll ask you a question about your interest to get the ball rolling (maybe even unintentionally), then sit down and listen to everything you have to say, even if it means having to wait a bit to eat. But he can hardly ever think about his stomach when he's too busy focusing on you.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are human culture (food and history), sports, and health.

-☆-

BELPHIE... wouldn't really care that much as well. In fact, he might even tease you about it (aka calling you a nerd), and will most likely nod off in the first few of your ramblings. But he makes sure to stay awake after realizing how important your interest to you is; not to mention, he gets to see your happy face for hours, a sight better than any of his dreams could come up with.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are human culture (fairs, circuses, etc), astronomy, and magic.

[seajelllies]

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝟏 ♡︎ What do you mean we had homework? masterlist ✎ roll call 1 ✎ roll call 2

"Took you long enough." You mused, not even bothering to look up at Yuji as he lets out an exasperated sigh, flopping into the chair across from you.

"That wasn't fair, I've never been here before, you should've been more specific." He almost whines, slumping over the table with a defeated frown.

"Mhm. Not my fault. You should've been around here months ago." You hum, before pushing the first few pages of your notes over to him, eyes still glued on the textbook you were highlighting. "Or you know, take your own notes for once."

Yuji happily slides the pages closer to him, yanking out his own notebook to start copying everything. It was clear by the goofy grin on his face that he was not processing any of the information he was writing out, simply just trying to get the information down so he can forget about it later.

"But then I won't have an excuse to see you!"

"Even if you didn't have an excuse, you'd find a way to bother me."

He smiles at that, and your lips curling up into a slight smile of your own was not lost on him. Not even 5 minutes go by before he sighs, leaning back in his chair, already over the notes. He barely copied anything down, and what he did copy looked so much like chicken scratch you'd be surprised if he could even understand it himself.

"I don't understand how you even know what you're reading about." He groans, head in his hands as he rubs his face with a tired sigh. "Nothing makes sense. If this wasn't required for my major I would've dropped this class immediately."

"It's not that hard to grasp, once you get used to the basics." You shrug, twirling your pen in between your fingers. "You just have to pay attention."

"Have you seen the professor? I don't think he's even paying attention. He sounds like he's already 6 feet under." Yuji scoffs, shaking his head with another heavy sigh. You could tell he was over this already.

"Professor Yoshinobu is like 76. Of course he's going to sound like that. He's still good at explaining the material-" You glance at Yuji and you can see him nearly zoning out, hardly listening. You frown, reaching forward to flick his forehead.

Yuji blinks out of his thoughts, and the moment you get his attention you snap lightly in his face. "Look, see, it's not really that hard.." And you end up spending the remainder of what should have been your self study time, going over the material from last weeks class. You were so engrossed in trying to explain things in simpler terms, you didn't even notice that he genuinely started paying attention, leaning forward to nod his head.

The two of you end up filling up his notebook with the notes you took, as well as his own personal notes in an attempt to dumb things down so he could process them easier later. And before you know it, you're getting kicked out for staying past the rental hour you originally placed.

𝑻𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔!

︾ you've been bamboozled, no Sukuna this chapter >:) sorry about that, i wanted to include something like Yuji talking to Sukuna or smthn but !! i figured it'd be easier if sukuna was just not there and then gets randomly barged in on by y/n and yuji tmw 🧍‍♀️

︾ anyways is it messy?? weird?? ooc?? sorry i haven't written in forever >: i've also never done a smau before, please don't look too closely at the time stamps on the messages and tweets i was too lazy to accurately adjusting them;; sobbing

︾ ANYWAYS SUKUNA NEXT CHAPTER I PINKY PROMISE!!! Mostly him & y/n anyways with bits of Yuji.

[grcetxt]

Fuck it we ball fanfic time. Gn reader x lars pinfield WOO

Okay WOO lmk if this is shit or ooc or anything, but im pretty happy with how this went :D its a little rushed, might redo it in the future idk. Also i made Y/N bit too much like me (northern) so watch out for that american readers SORRYYY. anwyays enjoy!

I am smart.

No don't laugh, I am, genuinely I am.

Maybe not in the way that others deem important, maybe not in the traditional sense, but I am bright.

Pinfield doesn't think so, the prick.

Every day I come into work, all smiling and welcoming, and what do I get in return? A roll of the eyes if I'm lucky.

Dickhead.

But I don't let him get to me, I love my job. My boss is chill, I love hanging out with Lucky, and the Spenglers seem nice! It's a good gig, really.

I'm the "PR guy" for Ghost Corps. Every time they fuck up and destroy a building or whatever I'm the one who covers it up. I'm a real smooth talker, 'gift of the gab' my mum used to call it.

The team needs me, I know that, they know that. Im crucial to the whole operation, the sole reason why that whiny mayor dude hasnt shut them down.

I'm the one who goes to press interviews, who goes on the radio or on TV. I'm the social media manager, I make videos, and post tweets, fuck I've even started a Ghostbusters youtube account! I deserve a raise honestly. #justiceforY/NthePRguy

I get on with everyone at work except for Pinfield, and I genuinely dont know why.

I've tried getting him to feature in videos, or explain the science of stuff to me so I can actually seem like I know what I'm talking about- but he just brushes me off.

Gary tries to reassure me about this on a daily basis. "Its nothing to do with you Y/N" he smiled one day, putting a hand on my shoulder and guiding me away from the busy scientist. "He doesnt really talk to anyone, he gets really passionate about his work"

"I get that, but there's no need for him to be a dick to me, he's got me thinking all kinds of shit honestly!" I replied, exhasperated "I've never done nowt to him"

Suddenly, Pinfield raised his head from his work, scrunching his eyebrows together. "thats a double negative" he commented, looking at me as if I was stupid. Great, It's the most he's ever spoken to me and its a fucking insult- atleast I think it is.

"you what?" I ask, making my way over to him despite Garys protests. I fold my arms, looking as menacing as i can (which ive been told isn't very menacing at all)

"I said its a double negative, if you've never done nothing then you must've done something" before I can reply, he adds onto the end "which you haven't, by the way. I dont know why you think that. I treat you the same as anyone else"

I can't explain why his answer bothers me so much, but it does. Why does he view me in the same way he views the others? That's hardly fair. I'm always welcoming to him, I make time out of my day to include him in things. I hate to admit it, but I genuinely admire him aswell. His love for all things paranormal, the way he gets so excited and proud when he gets to explain the science of ghost-catching to someone. It's oddly endearing.

I tell him as much (excpet for the stuff about him being endearing, he doenst need his ego inflated any more than it already is)

He looks confused, I've never seen him look like that- its weird. Arrogant? sure. Annoyed? when is he not bffr. Happy? Once or twice. But confused? Weird. This is the guy with all the answers, the smart one.

He thinks for a moment, before seemingly making a desision. He stands up with a small huff of exhasperation, and walks off.

As he goes past me, he grabs my arm, more gently than I thought he was capable of. Okay, i guess im coming too. Fun, roadtrip time.

He takes me out of the lab and down the corridor, into a relatively well lit small room.

"Well this is-" before i can speak properly, he cuts me off. Told you he was a prick.

"I dont understand you Y/N" he blurts out, looking at me, as if I'm some sort of specimin hes studying in the lab.

"Well good." I joke. I dont like the serious tone he's taking. Dont like how aware I am of his gaze. HATE the fact I can feel my cheeks burning. Gross. Pinfield is a dick, we've established this. Why the fuck am I BLUSHING because he's LOOKING at me? Bit embarassing, pull it together Y/LN.

He doenst like this though. He shakes his head, pacing around.

"No Y/N you dont get it. I understand everyone, sort of anyways. I've observed them, I can predict their reactions to things. I know what they're all like- but you're... I just dont understand! You're so happy and nice all the time, but you also get angry at stupid stuff, but never really properly angry? I cant make sense of it, genuinely. You've not done anything wrong, you can't do anything wrong. Thats frustrating too. It's like you're this perfect, beautiful person, and I've been trying to see flaws but I cant-" He rambles, speaking like hes just letting out one stream of constant thoughts. He seems stressed, poor guy.

I interupt him, grabbing his arm. "Hey, c'mon Pinfi- I- Lars. C'mon Lars. I'm not worth the stress mate" I try and reassure him, but that just agitates him more.

"See! That's just it! I've been horrible to you, I admit it. But you've kept trying with me! When I hurt my hand you were the one who bandaged it and put it in a sling"

(i had found him almost blacked out from the pain on the lab floor, even the memory of it sent a shiver down my spine)

"you were the only one that looked for me after we all nearly died fighting Garraka"

("Pinfield? Pinfield!? Oh my god, there you are! Thank fuck you're alright!" Okay maybe this tiny non-crush had been going on longer than i thought... christ)

"I dont like the thought of you hurt..." i muttered, embarrased. this definitely wasnt how i was expecting this conversation to go, fuck my life I was crushing on a nerdy scientist who defintely didn't like me back.

He stopped his pacing and walked over to me until the gap between us was non existant. He slowly, hesitantly, lifted his hand until he cupped my cheek.

"I don't like the thought of you upset because of me" he muttered, his voice low.

My heart completely stopped, my breath caught in my throat, was this happening? how was this happening? i swear this guy was like my mortal enemy not even 5 minutes ago. so many revelations were bieng made today...

I decided to be bold, why not? fuck it, i've got nothing to loose at this point.

I leaned in so our noses just grazed eachother, looking at him, really genuinely looking at him. his soft blue eyes that seemed to peer into my soul. Not pierce through it, like some weird blue eyed fuckers i knew, but looked. gently, tenderly, as if he was looking at everything i ever had been, or would be. like i was something beautiful, something to be treaured.

It made me want to sob at the thought. god, how disgustingly sweet.

"make up for it then" i whispered, the tension so thick i could cut it with a knife.

I'd planned on being the one to make the forst move, but apparently, that was all that Lars needed.

He kissed me. His soft lips pressed against mine, sotfly, tenderly, tentatively.

I could feel the anxiety radiating off of him, so i quickly reciprocated. More eagerly than i owuldve liked- but oh well.

I could feel his hand resting on my waist, his thumb gently stroking my cheek. It all felt so tender, so raw, not at all how i thought it would be.

I felt like a teenager again, and couldnt resist letting out a small giggle, making Lars pull away. He looked confused again, making me laugh once again.

"What?" he aksed, a sort of amused smile on his face.

"Nothing- sorry. Nothing at all. Just thinking of how fuming mums gonna be when i tell her ive got a posho for a boyfriend"

"I am NOT posh!"

"you are a littleee"

"I AM NO- wait- boyfriend?"

"oh shit didnt mean to say that bi-"

he cut me off with another kiss, this one much more confident.

It felt like a million fireworks were going off in my head, oh I could definetly get used to this feeling. This war, sweet, happy feeling. My senses were flooded with everything Lars. His taste, his smell, his touch.

I felt like I was learning to live again.

[petit-etoile]

Congrats on 200 followers!!!

I've got a drabble idea

Tav has foiled Ethels plans one too many times So it's only fair she return the favor.

She seems to love giving out apples, it would be a shame if poor Tav we're to eat one unknowingly 🍎

the  folly of  a human heart

pairing: astarion/tav wordcount: 945 content warnings: none other tags: canon compliant, introspection, character study, hurt/comfort, whump,  gender neutral tav, human!tav archiveofourown: here.

tag list: @azrielshadows1nger, @pandimoostuff, @faevi, @microskies, @foreverthemaraudersera, @queenofthespacesquids, @claryvoyantfray, @6doodlaang14, @anne-isnotokay, @itshimbotime, @yeeteth-the-raven, @sessils, be added to the taglist here

summary: 'I was going to offer Auntie Ethel her freedom,' you say, 'in exchange for a wish.'

‘I wanted a cure  —  ’

‘You wanted immortality.’

‘I wanted to save  —  ’

‘You wanted forever,’ Auntie Ethel says condescendingly. ‘I’ve given it to you, sweetums. Don’t you like it?’

You don’t like it. Your stomach is cramping so hard you can hardly stand, and every time you try to take a step, nothingness crunches at the base of your skull. Your vision has gone from blurry to nonexistent. You try to follow her cackle. You try to follow her anything, but all you can hear is keening from a wounded animal. You claw at your stomach and stumble forward.

How utterly stupid you’ve been.

Had you asked any of your companions, they would have told you that trusting Auntie Ethel after everything you’ve done to her was insanity. It’s your own fault. You have no one else to blame for how miserable you feel. But she had dangled a carrot in front of you, a wish and a promise, and you had wanted so desperately to reach out your hand and take it to let bygones be bygones. You had been hopeful, stupid, naïve to trust Ethel.

Your knees give out beneath you and you collapse on the floor of the Blushing Mermaid. Ethel regards you coolly even as her features shift back into Captain Grisly’s. She leaves you with nothing. When you wake next, you expect nothing but excruciating pain.

You expect your lungs to be pulled from your chest. You expect insanity, and yet there is nothing but Shadowheart’s frigid hands against your cheeks dragging you back to reality. She healed you. You gaze at her blearily, but she can’t even open her mouth to scold you before Astarion is shoving her out of the way.

‘You,’ he snaps, ‘get out.’’

Shadowheart won’t take it to heart, you hope, but she does scurry out of the inn room before anything else can be said. Your vision is still rough around the edges, but you can see Astarion as clear as day. The sight of him makes you smile stupidly, and even though he’s practically snarling, baring his teeth and grasping your blankets with his hands, you’re not afraid of him. But after remembering how Auntie Ethel betrayed you, your heart sinks into your stomach faster than you can stop it and you sob uncontrollably, pushing the palms of your hands against your eyes roughly.

‘What is wrong?’ he asks, suddenly frantic. He wraps his hands around your wrists. ‘Are you still hurt? Shadowhea  —  ’

‘  —  nothing, nothing,’ you weep. Your head feels too full and your stomach hurts.

‘If that wretched hag still has a hold on you,’ Astarion says fiercely, ‘I’ll rip her throat out with my teeth.’

‘No,’ you say. ‘I don’t think  —  I don’t think that’s it anymore.’

Astarion takes a little time to contemplate what you mean by that, but you like the way he dotes on you rather than the way he scolds you for your mistakes. You stare at him miserably. He frowns back.

‘What were you thinking?’ he asks, looking terribly sad and wrecked. ‘Why did you go alone?’

‘I was going to offer Auntie Ethel her freedom,’ you say, avoiding his eyes so you don’t have to see the curiosity in them, ‘in exchange for a wish. I was going to give her a tadpole disguised as the one from the Emperor in exchange for…a wish scroll.’

Astarion raises his chin as he attempts to process the information. Confusion, pride and then terror flickers across his face as he digests what you said, and then he’s reaching for your hands and holding onto them tightly.

‘But she didn’t want to help me,’ you say. ‘She really, really hates us, Astarion.’

‘What could you have possibly wanted a wish scroll for?’ he asks.

You aren’t sure if he’s serious or if he’s being obtuse on purpose. You peer at him cautiously, watching him as he watches you shuffle up the headboard so you’re sitting up more than you are resting. You have a raging headache and your stomach hasn’t stopped rolling since you woke up, but that won’t stop your endless altruism from puzzling Astarion or you from trying to comfort him.

‘For you,’ you say shyly.

‘Me?’ Astarion scoffs.

‘I was going to wish it away,’ you say. ‘Your vampirism. You’re so beautiful in the sunlight, I wanted to see it  —  ’

You aren’t able to finish your sentence before Astarion is toppling over you. He burrows his face in your hair and cradles the back of your neck to help with the strain. He kisses your forehead next and studies the way your hands shake in your lap.

‘You’re silly, I don’t think you even realize it,’ Astarion says softly. He reaches for your hands and smooths his thumbs over your knucklebones. ‘You’re so fragile, so human and yet…you inelegantly strike at gods and mystical things without fear. I could learn so much from your bravery.’

Astarion does not laugh at you. He does not applaud you for your attempt at deception. He doesn’t even mildly ridicule you for what a ridiculous plan it was. He sits with you until your stomach hurts less and you feel hungrier, and when it’s time for you to eat, Astarion carefully feeds you spoonfuls of Gale’s soup.

‘If I could make a wish,’ he says when you’re warm and cozy, basking in the attention as he smooths your hair away from your face, ‘I’d wish for you to be alive forever. Being a vampire spawn wouldn’t be so bad if I could have a thousand and one days with you.’

You don’t tell him it’s what you dream about.

[wormo-rat]

Short snippet of my first draft for Tamber's Body, a Scream 5 Jennifer's Body AU. It's been a long time since I've done any creative writing so I'd love any (kind) thoughts and feedback.

~~~~~~~

“C’mon Tara, it’ll only be a couple hours, and who knows? Maybe you’ll even have some fun.”

Tara rolled her eyes playfully and continued rummaging through her locker, looking for the right notebook for her next class and trying to ignore Amber’s puppy dog eyes.

“Amber, you know we have a history test tomorrow, and Wes wants to…”

“Fuck Wes!” Amber slammed her locker shut and Tara flinched. She knew Amber never liked Wes, for one reason or another, and her recent “study dates” (as Amber put it) with him had only worsened her best friend’s disdain for the poor guy. When Amber got in these moods, it was almost impossible to reason her out of them.

“Wes is a fucking loser incel, don’t tell me you’d rather spend your night with that spiky-haired prick than with me.” Amber scowled, her jaw clenching with anger. With other people, Amber was usually good at masking her darker tendencies and only snuck in a few jabs here and there, especially towards Wes. But with Tara, for whatever reason, her mask had been slipping lately. Tara wasn’t sure why, but she had a sneaking suspicion that the recent uptick in cruel comments coincided with the start of her spending more time with Wes. She knew these outbursts were something that she just had to allow to fizzle out on their own, but not defending him in the slightest wouldn’t sit right with her either.

“Wes isn’t an incel, he’s actually pretty nice. You’d know that if you actually bothered to talk to him.”

“Tell me one instance where he’s actually gotten his dick wet.”

Tara frowned and turned to look at Amber,

“If we’re going by the actual definition of incel, I’m pretty sure he’s just a virgin. I don’t really think you can call teenagers incels since we pretty much just started getting sexually mature. Also while we’re at it, it’s so fucked up that misogynistic men co-opted a term originally coined by a woman trying to seek out connection and community with others who…”

Amber listened somewhat patiently as Tara went on her short tirade. She was still sort-of pissed off at the idea of Tara blowing her off for Wes, but when Tara got into her passionate little one-person debates, it was almost impossible to stay angry. Her face scrunches up and her eyes would ignite in a way that always showed she really cared about everything she said. Amber envied her in these little moments, her world had grown so dull and monotonous at times that she rarely felt an attachment to anything anymore, let alone these random topics that Tara always felt compelled to lecture her on. Tara tended to use her hands a lot when she got passionate, so having prematurely abandoned her search for the right books for class, Amber reached into Tara’s locker to expertly pack her backpack and zip it up, slinging it over her shoulder with her own. She steered Tara away from their lockers and they walked together towards Tara’s next class, Tara continuing her Ted talk without a hitch, hardly noticing the change in setting. Tara only snapped out of it when the 5-minute warning bell rang out. She blinked in surprise, feeling the heat rush to her face when she realised she had basically been yapping non-stop to Amber for the past five minutes.

“Sorry um, what were we talking about again?”

Amber smiled and handed Tara her bag,

“We were talking about how I’m going to pick you up from yours at 7 tonight, and you’re going to be dressed up all sexy and be ready for me by then.”

Tara chewed her lip, weighing up how much a bad grade would actually affect her overall performance, but when she glanced up and saw the expectant look in Amber’s face she crumbled.

“If they suck, do you promise you’ll drive me home early?”

Amber’s expression was instantly replaced with the near-maniacal grin that always made Tara’s heart skip a beat. Like a small rabbit pinned under the gaze of a ravenous wolf.

“Anything for you, princess.”

[hyperpotamianarch]

All right, so I have news for anyone who's interested in my Jewsade/Jewish dæmonism stuff! After not doing anything with it since I've hit a wall with no idea on how to actually write it, I am now considering using Maharal of Prague as a framing device that could connect the story to the main characters of His Dark Materials. Maharal is most well known for having rumored to have created a Golem - it's actually the most famous Golem story to exist - but he was more interesting a person than that. He was well studies in Philosophy and Kabbalah, as well as Astronomy and various other sciences. He was born in Poland about 30 years after the Alhambra decree in Spain, meaning he was a baby/young child at the time the supposed Jewsade may have occured. He was known to have conversed with Emperor Rudolph II later in life. In addition, his teachings later influenced the Chassidut movement.

I'm not really explaining his significance well, but he is an important figure who had the Golem legend grow around his character and fights against Blood Libels centuries after his death. And the fact that the Alethiometer was supposedly invented in Prague at around the time of his death helps.

You see, my idea of it currently is something along the lines of: Lyra, in the midst of studying the Alethiometer, finds some vague references to an early scholar named Long Loew. There is only one note from him which is very interesting, but there's very little about who he was and what are other stuff he said. After researching she finds a book that explains a bit more about him, which might be the heart of the story. That, or she'll slowly uncover hints and the story will progress in two parallel lines - one telling of the life of Rabbi Yehuda Loew of Prague and his struggles with the rising power of the Magisterium and another about Lyra uncovering his life and learning about the current state of Judaism under the Magisterium-dominated Europe. It will likely include some throwaway lines about the Jewsade and its outcome and about shifts in centers of Judaism. Some spotlight might also be given to Rabbi Mordechai Yaffeh (but only because I like him. He doesn't seem to have interacted with Maharal much even though he also served as the Rabbi of Prague for some time while Maharal was living in another city) and to some of Mahahral's students. There will also have to be some talk about the Shulchan Aruch and such books, but that's another thing.

Part of the idea here is also to remind people that Jews were involved in scientific development, to a degree. Some famous rabbis had exchanges with famous Astronomers. Due to how a Christian-dominated world generally works, though, you're unlikely to find discoveries made by Jewish scholars around the 16th-17th centuries. At least so I think, I'm far from an expert on that topic. Either way, I think this kind of story might lend itself easier to write. It does lose the angle of focusing on Sepharadi Jews, but I'm hardly qualified for that anyway. I think Maharal's type of philosophy might work very well with dæmons and the Alethiometer, though I do need to study it more (which I guess makes the fact one of my distant great uncles was a scholar of Maharal very convenient). I do still need to read the Secret Commonwealth to understand adult Lyra better and see how such a story might work - for example, might Pantalaimon go alone to the Jewish quarter of Prague when Lyra is unwilling to? What would each of them find out? What could really drive Lyra to check out one particular scholar? So, that's the bad news: after having a hard time starting to read the Secret Commonwealth, any progress that might be done is postponed until after I read it. I do intend to try and do it quickly, though.

So, yeah. I intend trying to talk about Jewish life in Lyra's world through the eyes of an old Jewish Rabbi, Philosopher and Kabbalah student, or maybe two or three of those. I will need to thouroughly research their history, but that's going to be fun (hopefully). Plus, I'm descended from Maharal! So this is kind of uncovering family history!

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful day!

[the-element-siren]

It Started With an Arrangement, pt 4

The De Rolos converse, plan, and a mother laments the path she's put her son on

The door of his mother's study barely closed before Percy went off.

"How dare he do that! He's supposed to be a politician and yet he made such a basic mistake like that!"

"Percy, it's hardly.."

"Yes Cass, I'm aware but he should have known!"

"Percival, enough."

He turned to his mother, "My apologies mother. I'm sorry Cass, I didn't mean to snap at you."

"My son, I appreciate that you want to defend my sovereignty but it's not the first time that someone has made that mistake and it will not be the last."

"I know Mother but he still should have known. Now I'm beginning to understand how Vex is still unmarried at this age."

"Percival," his mother's tone was full of warning.

"I mean that he's probably insulted any prospect out of Syngorn. He barely addressed you for a minute and didn't even acknowledge Cassandra."

"Just like you didn't even address Vex'ahlia."

"Enough, both of you."

Lady Joanna gestured for all of them to sit.

"What did you think you think of her?"

Percy was hesitant to answer.

"Come on brother, we both want to know."

"The only opinion I can give you is that she's beautiful. I'm not sure what I was picturing from her letters or that portrait but she's stunning."

"I agree, my grandchildren will be gorgeous."

Percy was barely able to choke out 'Mother' as Cassandra started laughing.

"Come now, my son. You know that after a period, you two will have to have children. I don't expect you to have a giant brood but it should be more than two children. Maybe if we're lucky, her first pregnancy will be with twins. Both of you do have a family history."

Percy was willing the ground to open and swallow him. His sister was almost as red as he was from her laughter.

"Alright, Cassandra take a few breaths. We do need to talk seriously, I've decided that tonight we shall do an unofficial welcome dinner. Intimate with only the families in attendance. Dress will be casual and you are not to go to your workshop. I won't risk you forgetting and coming in covered with soot or smelling of brimstone."

Percy sulked and crossed his arms like a child.

"I know that's your normal stress relief but why don't you spend some time with Alexa? She does have a way of helping to calm you down."

"Oh yes, didn't you mention that Vex liked spending time in the woods? It will be impossible for her not to be impressed by Alexa."

"I have been ignoring her a bit these last few weeks. And it would be good for her to have a flight."

"Good, go now and I'll have a servant get you an hour before dinner. I want to be sure that you have time to be ready."

"Mother, I can be trusted to be ready for dinner by myself."

"How many nights have you stayed past midnight and missed dinner this week?"

Cassandra giggled as Percy grumbled point taken.

"Now, go on while I tell the servants about the change of plans."

Both of them got up with a 'yes mother' and left her study.

As she leaned back in her chair, Joanna wondered. As she had done many times these last few months if she was doing the right thing. She had been so lucky that her marriage had turned into a love match and she just wanted the same for her children. It was easier to find a match for Percival since he was her heir. Though many assumed, like Ambassador Vessar had, that he would become the ruling lord once the marriage went through. Just the thought of marrying someone herself made her ill. What she had with Fredrick had been a true partnership and she doubted that she could ever find anything similar ever again.

Joanna hoped that tonight's dinner would help. She hoped that Pelor would hear her prayers and that her son could be as lucky as she had been.

---------

So any guesses on who Alexa is?

[lavender-romancer]

Crosses on my body

Part Three Tommy Shelby x Reader

You were a nun in Dublin but when you decided to take action against those in powerful positions in the church you had to escape. When you turn up in Birmingham and begin a relationship with Tommy Shelby will he be able to protect you from your past?

”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜”*°•. ˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

previous part

You studied Tommy's features as you both knelt opposite each other in the church, his eyes closed in some kind of silent meditation because you knew he didn't come here for God. For someone so plagued with sin he was so peaceful with himself or at least he seemed it. The two of you should be dead by now, learning more about his well deserved reputation. God should have smited the two of you. Why had he allowed you both to survive to meet another? Was there a higher purpose you were both meant for?

"Why do you come here with me? You don't believe in God." You asked quietly and Tommy opened his eyes.

"I think you know why." He placed a hand on yours.

"But how can you trust me like this? I expected you to lose interest in all this after maybe a few meetings or that you'd expect more. But you never do. Why is that?" Furrowing your brow you allowed yourself to enjoy his touch, so much more confident than yours.

"I enjoy being with you. Even if it's experiencing something I fundamentally disagree with, I'm in your presence and that's enough." The edges of his mouth curled into a slight smile and you nodded.

"I'm just too out of practice with all this so I can't tell what your expectations are at all." You rubbed your thumb over the back of his hand.

"I haven't got any. You expect respect from me and I respect the same back, there isn't anything else. I'm just allowing myself to experience something good for once." He placed his other hand on your cheek and your lips parted slightly, the heat rising into your stomach and up to your chest.

"Do you think anything could change that respect?" You asked timidly and he shook his head.

"I'd be surprised if anything could. I've also done awful things and when I reveal them to you it's likely you won't respect me anymore either. So we're both in a compromising position," he kept hold of your hand for the whole evening, sometimes kissing your knuckles and you could only watch and wish it could carry on forever.

But it was only a fantasy you could hope would carry on forever, the truth was that with you around be was always in danger and you couldn't cope with it.

"I need to tell you something. Something you can't tell anyone unless I ask you to," you paused and looked at Tommy. In the private room of the Garrison.

"We're alone and we hardly have to worry about snooping barmaids. What's your secret?" He asked with a cigarette dangling between his thumb and forefinger.

"I had to tell you, y-you said this was something good and I can't lie to you anymore. Well not lie, but edit the truth of it all," you hung your head.

"What's happened?" Tommy asked, still perplexed.

"I killed someone." You said simply, fidgeting with your fingers.

"Who?" He furrowed his brow.

"A man who deserved it. Regardless of my faith's views this man was pure evil. A true incarnation of Satan. He was cruel and disgusting and-"

"What did he do?" Tommy seemed even more confused at your outburst and you sat on the booth opposite him.

"Do you know about the… Magdalene laundries in Ireland?" You looked down at the table.

"Are they some Christian enterprise?" He asked, still not feeling the gravity of the situation.

"They're glorified prisons posed as reformation and rehabilitation centers. I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I was sent there. For about 10 years I was in a Donegal convent. It was wonderful and full of hope but…" you paused.

"Then you were sent to that place?" Tommy took a sip of whisky and poured you a glass.

"I was. I was told I'd be teaching the orphaned children and that I wouldn't really interact with the women that were in recovery there. But it wasn't true and I saw everything. There's only so many hours you can spout Bible verses at children before you wonder where they'll get an education." Your eyes began to water. "I let it happen, I let them hurt people and I did nothing."

"You were trying to save yourself from it all I'm sure. But this killing," he looked at you and you wiped your eyes.

"Yes, Father Michael Thomas. He was one of the cruelest men I have ever met, he would beat the women a-and pick his 'favourite student' to be with him every night that week. He flouted his power within the church as if it was something to be proud of." You burst into tears and Tommy put his hand on top of yours.

"You killed the bastard, Y/n. How can it not be God's will for you to protect innocents like children?" Tommy gave you his handkerchief.

"Because it's a sin! It's why he's hidden to me now and I'm haunted by the fucking memory of it all. It's why I'm running because I took proof with me of all the unregistered deaths and diary pages from him." You wiped your eyes and cleared your throat, trying to compose yourself.

"It would be intensely embarrassing for the Catholic Church you can't deny that, release it to the press or something and it will get out." Tommy encouraged and you shook your head.

"They're everywhere, they're in England, Scotland, Wales, fucking international too. I heard that they're in America as well. How can one person bring all that down with some truth and some verbal recount of their time in that place?" You began to massage your temples, an awful headache coming on.

"Because it's what's right and I can help you get this out effectively. It would scrutinise the pope, Catholic leaders and every damn church in the world that used these places." Tommy took both of your hands in his and looked you in the eyes. "There is no forgiving yourself if you don't try."

That mantra played over in your head the next few days, you began writing to Theresa under her pseudonym she lived with now. Telling her about your plans for the future and the information, she encouraged you with promises of her support regardless of how it would take form. God might not forgive you for committing an act forbidden in the ten commandments; it was for the greater good of God's beautiful creation of earth.

The was no hope for Roman Catholicism if this behaviour carried on with no consequences for the evil forces involved with it. Women taken from their communities for being abused, children separated from their mother's, back breaking work with no pay but most of all…the violence. The violence some nuns used, it used to scare you to no end because you knew exactly when it was going to happen. Especially when Sister Cecilia would start yelling and pull out the ruler, no one could save the women from that. Each night you would awake from night terrors of your complacency and your guilt of leaving and not saving anyone but yourself but, you had to press on. If not for the victims sake for the possible survivors.

"What's going on with you and the nun, Thomas?" Polly asked.

"Ex nun, you mean." Tommy tried to act innocent while reading the newspaper in his office.

"Oh don't play that line with me. You know that I see through it all." Polly glared at him with her dark rimmed eyes that seemed to stare into his soul.

"What do you want to know then, Pol?" Thomas folded the top of his newspaper down.

"Why are you corrupting her?" She walked to the front of his desk and placed her hands on it.

"I think you'll find she's already corrupted enough on her own." Tommy almost smiled at the thought of how fucked up you both were put together.

"She's a woman of faith, Thomas. Real faith and commitment. That doesn't just go away on a wim." Polly looked like she wanted the ceiling to cave in and crush him underneath it.

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because she could be good for this business, all the shit we're in now. Offering a more moral point of view." Polly theorised walking away from the desk and around the room.

"I agree with that. But you don't know her. Her past is just as murky as ours." Tommy sat up in his chair.

"On what level?" She looked in smug disbelief that there could be anything to the contrary of pure morality in you.

"Cardinal sins." Tommy raised his eyebrows and Polly laughed.

"That could be anything, Thomas."

"Alright I'll bite. Death. By necessity but still death." He placed his hands together on his desk and leaned forward.

"You're joking." She looked at him with an almost pleading expression and he shrugged his shoulders. "Why in God's name do all the sinners of the world end up in this city?" She groaned in exasperation before walking out of his office, fuming.

Tommy could only smile, finding you couldn't have by chance. It was meant to be, even if only to get that reaction from Polly.

You woke the next day to some post posted under your door. After you honestly to Thomas you were feeling surprisingly optimistic about your new life. This bliss was undercut when you picked up this post and saw the return address. 69 Sean Macdermott Street Lower, Our Lady of Charity. You hands began to shake, the rest of your body feeling paralysed. You stayed like that for a while, scrunching up the letter in a seizure type trance before you let out an extremely long breath and began to sob, falling to yours knees. They had found you and you knew you didn't have long.

next part Peaky blinders taglist: @queenofkings1212 @severewobblerlightdragon @cl5369 @fairypitou @stressedandbandobessed7771 @shadow-of-wonder @hipsternoionlylikeunicorns @curled-hair-red-lips @lucystivinsky1315 Series taglist: @juicyj28 @alessioayla @fmo166

[hislittleraincloud]

Old Man Rambling

Yanno, I kinda miss the days of Tumblr where you kids were identifying as inanimate objects. There were kids IDing as kiwis and biscuits. Biscuitkin, kiwikin, shit like that. It kept this place relatively quiet because, well. Inanimate objects don't make much noise. And it was amusing as shit because there was always a teeny tiny part of y'all who knew it was all goddamn bullshit, but you never let the razzing force your masks off. You wanted attention and ya got it. You still kept to yourselves, even though you were thoroughly obsessed with your otherkinship.

But now. Holy Hell.

The current "kids'" personal lives are so hollow and so horrible that they've resorted to policing the lives of people they don't even personally know (celebrities, particularly young Hollywood). The identification is so strong that what they love so obsessively* couldn't possibly be anything else but what and how the heavily biased observer wants to see them as.

It is for that reason why I do sympathize with Ortega, if only a little (she did choose this life, her parents could've stopped it at any time knowing how strange celebrityhood has changed throughout our decades alive). Social media is evil. We did not have this when I was young, when the young Winona Ryder who is being splashed all over my fyp was posing for those photos, we only got to see them on paper, in magazines, bro. We didn't have all of this creepy connectivity where there was a very good chance that a celebrity would see our comments. It just was not like that at all.

So I get it, I get that it's changed and it can be really hard just to be a regular person because everyone has a goddamn video camera in the palm of their hands with videos ready to go online within seconds. It's shitty, and probably one of the things that's killing pro paparazzi (though in some cases it's made them worse); anyone and everyone can get a scoop now.

And if that's the case, why are kids behaving like paparazzi, knowing what the paparazzi did to Princess Diana (and Britney, offering up those umbrella photos out of their context of her situation that hardly anyone really knew about). The Chappell Roan concert footage is the best current example of that (I've removed the one part that I briefly posted as promised), and I've seen the biggest Wenclair accounts pass that shit around here like it's normal to invade a girl's private moments. And in some instances, using Photoshop/AI to gaslight people into believing crap that never happened. It's RPF to the worst degree, and it isn't cool.

*ETA: I started writing this last night before I passed out from the heat, but now I want to go back to the obsessive fan thing (partially bc of my recent experience here). User name redacted because I don't want to give her any more attention:

This ain't cute and not to be normalized. Had a male done this, it would've been seen as creepy.

It's this level of obsession — and the false sense of closeness that social media connectivity brings — that gives the Ortega stans a sense of entitlement over her (personal and professional) life that they do not have a right to influence.

And as someone who has studied and observed adolescent psych for decades, it amazes me to see young ♀️ adolescents behave like stalkers and get a pass for the behavior just because of their gender. Some of the most dangerous stalkers can be female, since they're not always taken as seriously as the males (male stalkers aren't always taken seriously either, so think about how much less female ones are). Jodi Arias, Victoria Rickman, Shayna Hubers, Liz Golyar, Vegas Bray...the list goes on and on.

It's obviously not a direct comparison; I'm not saying that what the kids are doing is necessarily dangerous for the object of obsession (since there is no direct relationship and physical access) or that it even has the potential to get violent (doesn't seem so), but it's not always entirely harmless.

Now, I understand that obsession is a thing with adolescents. I've seen it first hand. One of my favorite films is about the very type of 🏳️‍🌈 obsession that forms between two girls sometimes**, and features Kate Winslet's first screen kiss with a ♀️.

Most of us old farts grew up in an era where acting was acting: Even with the lack of connectivity, we knew Kate Winslet and Lyndskey weren't gay, but we still adored and appreciated the performances. Same goes for Hillary Swank in her Oscar winning role as 'Brandon Teena'; we knew she wasn't a 🏳️‍⚧️man. It was acting. More than half the cast of the original L Word was straight, and there wasn't anything close to this kind of creepy stalker crap back then.

Sadly I think that the more connectivity there is, the less real connectivity happens, and that presents obsessively attached fans with a false sense of security that would crumble if the people they worship turn out to be something contrary to the image in their minds that they've cobbled together from their celebrity's public behavior and works.

I don't think this type of delusion was present with Biscuitkin and Kiwikin. The foodkin did nothin' to anyone but exist, and food is food. The Ortega stans are fucking scary and need to cut it out. It's made fandom a scarier place for celebrities, because the Internet is forever and you're out there showing just how twisted up/potentially obsessive towards people you can be. It may not be embarrassing to you now since you have this false sense of 'community', but out there where y'all actually have to talk to real people and get on with real life crap, this type of behavior wouldn't fly. In 15 years when you're not a pimply, awkward high schooler/early college-aged person, someone might ask you how you spent your teen/high school years when a good chunk of it was scrolling through social media for pics and y/n stories about your favorite actress (and sometimes her co-stars).

[bellafragolina]

Regency AU Laventon to Celebrate First Semester of Grad School done

fem reader, historically inaccurate regency au, i like the name theodore for lav, you know the drill

🍓🍓🍓

"Teddy," your breathy moan sends a bolt of hot need down his spine, "Teddy."

Gods above, how he loves that name off your tongue. Professor Theodore Laventon never thought himself lucky enough to find a wife such as you. He was an older bachelor, and he didn't expect anything out of the season, but then you arrived.

You, dripping in silk and velvet, fingers futzing with the fabric of your skirt and you rambled on to whoever was in your company. Laventon's gaze followed you as you mingled, and with luck, he grew close enough to hear bits of your conversation.

"They're lovely little creatures." You said, and Laventon's posture straightened. "Mantises are just so darling. I know they look intimidating, but they're so marvelous once you do some reading on them. I've actually studied them a bit myself, what with my nephew's help catching them, and I've found-"

Your partner would then yawn aloud, so horribly rude. Laventon, in agony, would watch you wilt, hear your voice grow softer as you stifled yourself to listen to whatever patter your would-be suitor wanted to talk about instead.

Throughout the night, your voice fell, and soon enough, you were hardly speaking besides small talk and meaningless waffles.

Laventon knew it was wrong for him to approach you, but he couldn't help himself. He wandered to your side, flustered but wanting so desperately to hear you again.

"Theodore Laventon." He introduced himself. Your hand settled in his, warm and somewhat scrapped up, not unlike his own. Your own name settled on his tongue like cool wine, and he drank it down eagerly. "You. . . mentioned before, and I happened to overhear, that you were studying mantises. I'm actually a professor at the local university, one of ecology, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on the lovely little creatures."

Oh, how you blossomed under his attention. Hearing your voice, your thoughts, your brilliant mind aloud was everything Laventon could hope for. And oh, how you looked at him with those big, eager eyes of yours whenever he spoke. He had no right trying to court you, but as hours wasted away in each other's company, he had to at least be your acquaintance.

And so he extended an invitation. His lectures were yours to attend. You came to see him, he'd teach a class, and you'd follow any lingering students with questions, eyes so very bright to see the textbooks and papers he had for you to peruse.

Others would act so snide. Mutterings of "woman's work" and how no suitor would want a career oriented woman. It made Laventon's blood boil, for how could they not see how beautiful you were when you were, so enthused by the world around you?

When the mutterings turned to rumors of you being married off to the first interested party by your exasperated parents, Laventon took the chance. He couldn't stand the idea of seeing you snuffed out by the next season, so he took your hands in his, placing one on his heart.

"Marry me." He breathed, staring into your eyes. "Please. I want you in my life."

You smiled at him, tears in your bright, bright eyes. "Yes."

And now here you are, beneath him, laid out on the blanket he brought for your walk about the estate grounds. Your face is flushed, lips swollen from bruising kisses, and the breeze rustles your shared notes strewn about the blanket.

"Teddy," you breathe, nails scratching along the base of his skull, "kiss me."

Laventon would give you the world just to hear you say that every day. Luckily, the ring on your finger was all you wanted.

[oldxenomorph]

friends, i finished the kiava gamma quest last night and ohhhh my god

this quest and planet was so fucked up, i loved it.

i think this was the most outright heretical i've been in any quest thus far.

also, you can very much tell i have permanent mass effect brain because of course i chose the heretical options to keep any and all strange technology to study and/or use (a la the collector ship in me2)

ANOTHER CHAOS SPACE MARINE which kibellah completely solo killed him with death waltz. my love is so beautiful and strong and graceful when she coats the battlefield in blood.

finally uralon showed up. very cool, come back soon. (i did not chose the option to give him the warrant trade lmao i just stared him down.)

but i cannot BELIEVE heinrix destroyed the forgefiend i wanted to keep. can't have anything nice, i guess.

THE COMPUTER IN THE LOWER LEVELS OF KIAVA GAMMA.

(also the computer being powered by the mass of people in the lower levels? thinking very much about the huge masses of people being processed in the crucible at the end of me3)

my initial reaction to heinrix being unsettled that the computer can tell the future "ah yes, that's reaper technology." but then a screamer of tzeentch emerged from the computer i was like "ah."

i acquired nomos on my ship and i love them. i'll plunge this ship into a star if anything happens to nomos.

other things i did and/or that happened last night

man of the choices/time management for events in this game are more tense than me2, goddamn.

(context: after the collectors board the normandy and take your crew, you can only do legion's loyalty mission and then hit the omega-4 relay to have all of your crew survive. so ideally you should have all loyalty and side missions, minus arrival, done when you initiate the suicide mission and keep everyone alive.)

i say this because i guess i was too late to dargonus when the drukhari invaded and absolutely trashed my palace. i was like 98375938743928 warps away! also i got all this other shit to do!

marazhai was sitting in my chair. that's MY chair.

but if there's one thing i really appreciate about this game is seeing the consequences of my choices as the game progresses. it makes for a really dynamic experience.

me, looking at the warp gate: that's a mass relay...

man, that inquisition ship wreck quest with the nurgle cultists was gnarly as hell. also the final fight? i hated the uneven terrain so much and the constant plague clouds meant yrliet could hardly shoot. nightmarish.

also thus far, we've encountered three of the four ruinous powers: slaanesh (janus), tzeentch (kiava gamma), nurgle (inquisition shipwreck in pillars of viridice). i am wondering when khorne will show up.

also, i got a guided meditation scene with yrliet that was so tender and then i reached for her hand.... please let me hold your hand....

[imjustsoscaredallthetime]

Going to be keeping it absolutely real on here as I always do when things get bad. I'm starting to think that it might not get better after all I can't lie. I'm just so sad and angry and mad and lonely all the time. I moved away from home two years ago and I can't hold on to any stable relationships and I'm basically all alone here and I feel like such an idiot for complaining about it because it's nobody's fault that I don't go anywhere and I am bad at talking to people or holding on to relationships. it's completely my fault and I know it's up to me to change it but I've never been good at making friends and that hasn't changed just because I'm not 16 or 11 or 5 years old anymore and I'm still not quite sure how to go about it.

It's been 2 years and Canada doesn't feel like a foreign place anymore .I know my way around and I know how to get stuff done and it has already set in that this is my life now and I guess this just means that my life now is just me by myself with everyone I know and love 1800 miles away.

And even then half the time it still feels like I don't have anyone because my sister hardly answers her phone and my other sister and I have literally only known each other for a month and I don't even know her middle name yet and my mom has got a new job and doesn't have time to call me like she used to and so I don't even feel like I have my mommy anymore and my best friend is already dealing with so much and I wish I could turn back time and bring her loved one back to life but I cant and I feel so empty thinking about how she must feel and I'm not comfortable with anybody else so other than those people.

I'm a year away from graduating with a degree in a field that I hate and I can't find any internships or working experience because everything is so experience based and I am so bad at all this stuff and my grades are so mediocre and I don't have anything that makes me stand out and at this point I'm worried that I won't even be good enough for grad school. When I find a part of this wretched degree that I actually like I cannot seem to do well in it despite the fact that I actually care enough to study and do work in it and it's just so demotivating. And even if I do somehow manage to get a job I'm never going to be able to afford a house and I want to have a house so bad I don't like renting I want to have a backyard and I want my own kitchen and I want to decorate my house the way I feel like when I feel like it but everything is so expensive and I hate my shitty customer service job because I hate talking to people and I don't want to stand for 6 hours and fake smile and listen to the same songs play over and over again for 6 hours anymore but I can't leave my job because no one else is hiring me.

And I have to keep pretending like everything is okay when every time I turn on my phone and go out to social media I see something else indicating that we are witnessing the decline of man as we know it and there's kids dying in so many places all over the world and people getting their homes destroyed and no matter how much I try and raise awareness and no matter how much money I give and how much I talk about it there's really nothing changing and I go outside and somebody asks me for spare change to buy a coffee so they don't freeze in the below zero weather and I wish I could put them in a house but I don't even have a house of my own. And I used to be able to look around and find even the beauty in the smallest things and to not think the worst of people and to give everyone the benefit of the doubt for the most part but now I can't help but wonder if this person thinks genocide and exploitation and mindless killing and destruction is a good thing. And I hardly see anybody talking about Sudan or Congo or Senegal or Haiti or Madagascar and it feels like african people are just always doomed to be pushed to the back burner even by black people in the diaspora and I try to be positive because if the people in those countries haven't given up hope why should I but sometimes I just get so sad.

And despite going to therapy and going on meds I still look in the mirror and hate myself and I remember that my problems are so paltry and poor compared to what's going on in the rest of the world and that I feel worse because it doesn't make me hate how I look or who I am less and the world just won't stop turning and we never get a break we just have to keep going until we die no matter how bad things get and it's not fair and I'm so tired I just need it all to stop for a second. Looking at my life feels like reading the bell jar knowing that sylvia plath wrote a book about a depressed woman and ended up killing herself. I feel doomed