#and i've had a mess of a month
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Of course they'd be jumpin on a pile of leaves, it's basically mandatory.
#This had been in my WIP but I won't be able to add bg details and render this the way I imagined it this month so I'm just gonna wrap#this up before the winter season comes.#I don't think I practiced drawing a fall background this year?#Someone once told me they don't like diving in a pile of autumn leaves because it's where the little bugs and spiders hide.#After that I've been lowkey paranoid something poking under my shirt is a spider or some centipede#when I'm messing with a bunch of dried leaves.#1. I don't wanna get bitten by a spider or a centipede. 2. I don't wanna accidentally squish them. Creepy 😭#connverse#Steven Quartz Universe#Connie Maheswaran#SU#Steven Universe#autumn#my shiz#Steven Universe fanart
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"Dammit, I happen to love this country."
OPPENHEIMER (2023), dir. Christopher Nolan
#filmedit#oppenheimer#userrobin#usertom#filmgifs#moviegifs#oppenheimeredit#perioddramaedit#cillian murphy#rdj#sakshi does a thing#in case you guys are wondering what i've been up to for the past two months#i've been oppie-posting on tw*tter ;_;#so i had to come back and do that here as well#anyway#as usual this set is a mess and idk what the idea was. but its here.
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oh my god a fucked up nonbinary lesbian. I adore her
#I've been wanting to draw tiara for a MONTH!!#witch's heart#witch's heart tiara#rpg maker#art closet#wilardo's conclusion spoilers#I'm gonna be honest. I'm kind of having an “I hate my art” phase#this month has been… moody at best for me#while I've had some of the best days mentally I've had in like a year I've also had some really horrendous ones#being at my computer too long messes my brain up bad and drawing requires me to. y'know. be at my computer#I'm just trying to pull through
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[Start ID. A redraw of the official icons of the ten named slugcats from Rain World, arranged in two rows: Survivor, Monk, Hunter, Nightcat, and Gourmand in the first, Artificer, Rivulet, Spearmaster, Saint and Enot/Inv in the second. Each is drawn in roughly the same pose as in the original art and fitted with speculative interpretations of their biology, and the second image is a “dead” version of this. For example, all ten have slug-like rhinophores in place of ears, cuttlefish-like colorful eyes with strangely-shaped pupils, cephalopod-like beak "teeth", expressive barbels or oral tentacles at the corners of mouths, spiny radulas, and the frilly mantle fringes of sea slugs, though otherwise their faces are squishy, simple and mammalian-shaped.
Cream-colored Survivor and yellow Monk both share triangular, bicolored spots matching their eyes (which are tan and brown, and two shades of blue, respectively), small, bumpy fringes, and relatively neutral looks on their faces. Defensive-looking Hunter is mostly a dull orange-pink, though their blobby fringe is a more violent red and their back is purple and marred with lumps. Nightcat is navy blue and flecked with dots of yellow and teal, their rolled rhinophores are a lighter blue, and their shading fractures into stars in some places. Gourmand is almost uniformly tan, their wide, very ruffly white mantle fringe bordered by a spray of white spots, and their beak sticks out from either corner of their smile. Primarily red Artificer, snarling, has yellow markings of multiple sorts, a prominent yellow dewlap and their characteristic dark scar taking out a chunk of its face. Rivulet is a darker blue than usual, with long barbels, red gills and rings, countershading, and a cheerful expression, sticking out their radula. Spearmaster is purple with orange accents, eyes and spots, a large fringe and spines down their back. Saint’s green caryophyllidia are marked by small, yellow diamonds, and their long, thin radula extends far below them. Enot is decorated with mottled red stripes, blue patches, yellow stars, and an uneven and almost cartoonish imitation of blush, though generally the same deep blue as Nightcat, a passive or almost slightly smug look on their face and their rolled rhinophores out to either side.
In the second image, nine of the slugcats’ eyes are crossed out, indicating that these are death icons. They look fairly the same, with mostly expression differences. Survivor is caught in the beginning of a threat display, a karma flower sprouts from Monk’s side, Hunter is burdened with overgrowing, purple and blue rot, Nightcat’s rhinophores are pinned back, and Gourmand looks mildly disheartened. For the final row, Artificer bites its radula between small plumes of smoke, Rivulet drops their expression, Spearmaster looks very startled, Saint looks almost entirely the same besides half-open eyes and their markings greater in number, and Enot grins confusedly. End ID]
If you'll excuse the unusually lengthy ID: the arena meme introduced by @pansear-doodles at long last after a nearly year-long wip status (or, rather, finished a month ago today to honor my own first time playing it!)
Design notes and shout-outs under cut! :]
The following people are some of those who’ve inspired my designs most since I started this eight months ago (or just inspired me to get a little weirder with slugcat biology), among many others for sure, and I thank them for it–but this is simply to bring attention to artists I find cool, and in no way an obligation to interact or anything :]
> @saturncoyote , @carpsoup , @charseraph , @gallusgalluss , @bitsbug , @dopscratch , and @0hmanit (and a special mention to dddeerbo and hunterlonglegs, who’ve since deactivated)!
Survivor: Surprisingly the hardest to pin down the colors for, since nothing with its sibling's palette seemed to match up right (I did have to add in a little blue somewhere for Monk, the beginning of making it clear how much I’m simply going based off of vibes for the colors of scug innards). I consider them, Monk and Gourmand to be part of the same gene pool of slugcats, and even possibly the same colony even if the latter isn't really related, so took a bit of Gourmand's coloring and fit them in with their inspiration: Goniobranchus verrieri. They serve as a bit of an introduction to my ideas of scug traits (i find it really fun how many people have thought to add so many silly sluglike fixtures of biology completely independent of me, buuut here I’m mostly talking about species variation), and like in-game they’re pretty average! They, Monk and Hunter have a couple scars sourced from a piece of Joar's concept art that I'm failing to find, those across the bridge of the nose, under the eyes, and across the rhinophores, respectively, and my Survivor interpretation features many on the back of the neck, as a result of survived lizard bites.
Monk: Their coloring is primarily based off the fact that I associate them with blue fruits, honestly, a bit because I was compelled to establish a familiarity with Rivulet, and lastly inspired by the spots of Goniobranchus kuniei (and geminus, less important to me as one of my characters is a kuniei instead, but more fitting). Between the yellow + blue and the circular marking in the center of their face, they’re meant to bear a little resemblance to an iterator that shares similarities with the characterization I’ve given them, and similar coding of her sibling can be seen on Survivor’s markings around the eyes. As both a “default” slugcat and one whose campaign I haven’t played, though, I can’t say I have much more to point out about em.
Hunter: The whole rot thing made for a really fun time drawing them, and while the color change on their back is a result of this, it’s also an excuse to relate them to Babakina festiva, arguably my favorite sea slug (mostly for sentimental purposes). And to Spearmaster, a fellow messenger slugcat, and it serves as a gradient between Hunter’s pink and the “traditional” color of Rot seen in the DLLs. Aside from their affliction, they’d actually be the plainest in terms of design, as they don’t have any patterns or quirks of body type, just the red + purple and strange lumps + possible malnutrition. I can’t remember if NSH had created them in particular or just...caught + released or something, but it probably wouldn’t be strange for a lab-grown slugcat to be simple like that.
Gourmand: Like the two above, they’re rather plain in terms of coloring and adaptation, and like the two above, I find that fun. I decided it would be nice to avert the “all slugcats being of the same body type, and Gourmand’s out of place as the exception” thing by just...adding more fat to all of them, really. I did want to emphasize their sheer bulk even so, both fat and muscular (not like I couldn’t have still gone further with it, of course, but slugcat anatomy can be a little obfuscating sometimes, and they were intended to look rather plush considering personal size headcanons and therefore the lack of proper gravity), and the thick and flounced mantle looked like a good addition, as per their sea slug Glossodoris hikuerensis. Unlike Survivor and Monk, I didn’t attempt to hold their resemblance to any particular other character (which means a little less to balance out the “default gene pool” thing), so those are all the design notes I have for em.
Artificer: The second slugcat I’ve ever played, or finished the campaign of, my favorite for at least a long time, and the first thing I did was give them yellow accents, the shape of which have troubled me slightly (not quite like the spots or stripes of the others). They’re both a little more appealing and more explosive-looking to me, and considering how early on I played Arti, actually present in some of my older art. It does give them a little resemblance to Saint (completely intentional, two slugcats with strange relations to karma), as well as the fact that its radula is green for familiarity with one of its children (at some point it was going to have all-green markings, even!). I’m generous with their scars, partly because it was fun to overemphasize the one on their face and partly because it does seem like a reckless slugcat, on top of the dangers of its explosive abilities–I’ll probably just keep adding more forever. Mostly-red sea slugs aren’t too common, but Hexabranchus sanguineus works for sure. The ridged, yellow dewlap can expand for combustion purposes, or something along those lines. Arti’s where I began experimenting with a lot of the mildly-offkilter features seen in my interpretation of slugcats, as they’ve once again been a favorite from the start.
Rivulet: I've obviously given other slugcats spots, deeply enjoy the bubbly-soda markings of other peoples' slugcats, and thought seal riv would be cute. Despite not too closely resembling it, they've been government-assigned Hypselodoris bennetti, for color reasons and for a couple sentimental ones. Originally, the colors of every scug were meant to match up with the custom colors I gave them at the beginning of their campaigns, (though Arti, Gourm and Spearmy are the only three who actually apply here, since I've only played through half the slugcats: I gave arti the yellow as mentioned above, gourm brown eyes and spearmy light pink spears, furthered by the outskirts pearl accompanying me and that palette all the way to moon. Tolerance training for eternity in hell cause I already knew about the maroon pearl quest). I initially gave them the colors of the bi flag for fun... but with the limited palette of this image, I was left without pink for a while and decided to see how they'd look in red. I then realized how they now wonderfully matched Moon, and besides, red's a sort of camouflage in deep water! As a side-note, the difference between their eyes and those of others always bothered me a little for anatomical purposes, and the cephalopod eyes were probably influenced by this!
Spearmaster: Inspired as much as possible by @notyourfunnyman ’s wonderful spearmy: designed in a way that helps it fit in with scavengers, at least between the long sensory tentacles, big ruff, back spines and slightly thin/distended anatomy, a form of defensive mimicry. I always had annulate rhinophores in mind, for a little diversity sure, but mostly because the shape reminds me of radio antennae and communication towers (seems fitting for the comms array and being a messenger slugcat)! I started searching for a real-life slug to give them just by looking up their rhinophore shape...and was met immediately and coincidentally with annulate-topped nudibranchs that fit them more perfectly than I could've imagined: Flabellina and surrounding clades, I think Paraflabellina ischitana works very nicely. The orange was completely unplanned, but there wasn’t a place for light pink among the other slugcats’ palettes, and importantly it likens them to both Hunter and Seven Red Suns a little more.
Saint: I am very much a non-furred slugcat enjoyer, with respect to those who aren’t, so figuring out the only visibly furred slugcat was an interesting challenge. I’ve decided that they likely have other, milder adaptations for help in the cold, mainly just more efficient fat storage, and what looks vaguely like fur is instead a bunch of tubercles (called caryophillia, for the second reminder out of three). Their inspiration doesn’t have these, however, Miamira sinuata’s numerous yellow and blue spots (not to mention...whatever’s going on with that shape) and general effect of being the only really green nudibranch I could find were probably perfect for a strange green echo. Not pictured, but their beak-teeth are tiny and flat to make a surface for grinding soft food against with the lack of a functioning radula, which is tipped with a specialized spiny “grapple-hook” for better traction/grip (not to mention the numerous little teeth running down the whole thing).
(Best part of hiding this under a readmore means edits will be seen by all reblogs, I'm mostly sure, because I completely forgot to mention! The spots on their forehead are simple eyes. Their camera eyes appear closed in-game, I like to believe their complex eyesight is rather poor anyways or otherwise reason that they aren't seeing out of those, and while this was far from her REASON for attunement with the world, it does help compensate for mainly viewing it through a canvas of simple light and dark. This, and the fact that their swapped-out "fur" is not only to commit to a lack of hairs but contributes to sensory input!)
Nightcat/Enot: I guess you could say I found the “these two are technically the same person” compelling. (E.g. similar colors, both very strange and enigmatic, and Enot/Inv/Sofanthiel’s remark during the dating sim about getting removed from Arena Mode.) I doubt they’re the only two slugcats in their body, considering humans with DID tend to have more than a few (and I find it very funny that a slugcat bearing resemblance to Nightcat appears in Gourmand’s ending. They’re allowed in the colony and Enot isn’t </3), and I have to credit @faelingdraws ’s art for being what convinced me on it! Their design inspirations come down to trying to balance a few different ideas: making the patterns and palettes of both look oddly similar (special mention to the stars, since those are fun to draw), basing them off of Felimare sechurana and juliae respectively, using blocks of color with the same placement as in Enot’s official art, and specifically making Enot look...biologically reasonable and imperfect, whilst also clearly trying to imitate human displays of emotion (what with...the eyes and blush on that one piece of official art).
Lastly, here’s just a lineup with notes on body shape and size. Most of the nicknames (existing to give a little more space, that’s all) are obvious, and while I can’t remember why I shortened Nightcat to Nox, it is in honor of my friend by the same nickname :]
#survivor rain world#monk rain world#hunter rain world#nightcat rain world#gourmand rain world#artificer rain world#rivulet rain world#spearmaster rain world#saint rain world#enot rain world#slugcat rain world#rain world#peridots-art#< feels like too long since that last tag's been used. i can say with certainty that the majority of the reason i haven't been just as#active here (not to mention not drawing as often since that's relevant) is just due to my life getting busier with a new school year but i#do miss putting my stuff here! and would like to reblog more on top of that.... so forgive not remembering exactly how to tag everything#(and how to write everything up there but to be fair it's not like long textposts were a staple of mine. i mostly just rambled and it was#fun hehehe.....some of those notes (parts of riv/spears mostly) were written around the beginning of the drawing itself)#OH i messed something up with the drafting and really did not mean to post it while tags were in progress! but regardless. i would've liked#to post it tomorrow to mirror how i was going to post it on JAN 29 a month ago......but it's not like i'm unhappy with this outcome :]#to sum it up really though it's been strange working on this for so long.....unfortunate to not get a chance to let it be seen and keep#experimenting with odd biology much earlier but i'm just glad it's out now cause i am proud of these!! it's been a lot of fun and slugcats#are still my go-to doodles :] if i had to end this off promptly though what's up with that secret pipeyard shelter as gourm that's not on#the maps. connected to vs_a04. doesn't appear on the miraheze or interactive maps for anyone strangely but i've only been there as gourmand#anyway! i'm sure there's a lot i could've said in the rush but goodbye dear reader anyway :]#i forgot spearmy initially. i'm so sorry#peridots-described#< NOOOO THAT DOESNT SHOW UP THERE'RE TOO MANY TAGSS.......
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Heyyyyy could anyone else stand to have life calm down just a bit just for a sec just for a treat just for fun
#About Me#The election on The Wife's birthday#to her being in the hospital twice in seven days including the day before Thanksgiving#to me not having a full day off in a month solid#to a plumbing emergency I had to get another loan from my republican mother for and even then it's tight#to both The Wife and I being deeply neurodivergent anxiety riddled messes#like seriously when my time off lands in ten days I'm not getting out of bed for the entire first week and nobody can make me#This isn't even a comprehensive list#I swear the only good news I've had this month is that my kidneys aren't shutting down
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the problem is I don't know. is it "don't trust your feelings so much" or "You're making a mistake"? is it "if it wouldn't have bothered you before trigger don't let it now" or "seeing things in a different light?" is it OCD or spiritual attack or genuine conviction? is me wearing a FOB hoodie and listening to Fake Out tonight an act of "not giving in to the compulsion" or an act of disobeying and not listening to God?
#I can't help but compare this to the other two times I've had to set something down#once temporarily in middle school and once (maybe) permanently just like a month ago#like. can I excuse all of it? yes. but I do kind of feel separated from God#but idk if that's bc I'm disobeying or bc I shouldn't be trusting my feelings so much. I'm going to just give it time#not in a not listening to the holy spirit way but in a trying to figure things out way#so for right now I guess it will be business as usual but with some added Bible reading. idk. I'm so messed up rn#Lu rambles
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sleepy sketch from a sleepy me
#fanart#sketch#bnha#my art#shigaraki tomura#league of villains#tenko shimura#kurogiri#so I've moved on from following the finale for now#basically I've just remembered that I can infinetely reread 235-237 if I want to#but yeah... not much to say here#I've been... a mess lately#it's 2 am#so you can see why#this sketch is not a direct redraw because I doubt I'll find the original sketch#but it was my first “therapy” kind of sketch after the chapter where Shirakumo and Kurogiri talk happened#I needed something sweet back then so I drew the same thing in my sketchbook#it's been almost 5 years#I'll celebrate it in two months#but that's it#I love MHA for 235-237 and that never changes#and yeah the idea that Kurogiri uses his warp gates to just... get Tomura's hands off the table is a funny headcanon I had for YEARS#anyway goodnight
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Books of 2024: November Wrap-Up.
Hi, y'all! I'm actually shocked that I managed to get through four (4) books this month, because it was NANO and I also WROTE A WHOLE BOOK!! The (written) book in its two notebooks is pictured beneath the pen and NaNo Earrings :)
All of these reads were NaNo-adjacent, somehow (I like to stack my reading with my writing project so all the Vibes are Correct)--either Space, or Haunted, or Fucked Up Fungi (I wrote a weird book this month)(I had a great time).
Photos and/or reviews linked:
A HALF-BUILT GARDEN - ★★★½ I enjoyed this! It was very slow and contemplative, and I was surprised by how long it took me to read (#NaNoProblems), but I'm glad I did, and Rhamnetin was a DELIGHT.
JUST LIKE HOME - ★★★★ Reread for me, holds up very well! Star rating unchanged from first time through. I actually do recommend rereading this one, knowing exactly when Daphne dies.
GRAVEYARD SHIFT - ★★★½ I enjoyed this one too! Short fun weird little insomnia romp. Love a good fucked up fungus and a motley POV crew.
THE NIGHT GUEST - ★★★★ This was DEEPLY fucked up and AMAZINGLY crafted horror/suspense, and I definitely had delayed nightmares about it. I also love a good spec fic in translation (this one's from Icelandic!). Cats are NOT safe, very graphically so, so proceed with caution if that's a warning you need.
Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~
Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. (Example: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:
★ - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).
★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).
★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.
★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.
★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!
★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!
#books of 2024#books of 2024: november wrap-up#a half-built garden#ruthanna emrys#just like home#sarah gailey#graveyard shift#m.l. rio#the night guest#hildur knutsdottir#did i mention that i WROTE A WHOLE BOOK??#okay well like. a Compost Draft book lol. a Rotting Slough Of Good Ideas Book (affectionate)#i had a Revelation this year about my prep process and why my last four years have felt so rushed (spoiler: the root cause is LIVING HERE)#BUT! it's because i thrive on two (2) months of prep#it shakes out to like a month of brainstorming and then a month of carding/plotting/prewriting i think#but i've been speedrunning books since. 2021. which. was fine that year#because i set out to make a mess in a month (and it was a retelling)#fine in 2022 because that was self-indulgent crossover no plot or worldbuilding required#NOT fine in 2023 because i had an Actual Book i wanted to do and i rushed the prep and then i was grumpy#because i assumed i was writing a first draft but it was more like a compost draft#but not recognizing that made it not fun#THIS year i FINALLY understood what people mean when they say 'draft zero' (which does not work for me. because a draft on page exists/not0#and i realized i was basically doing that--halfway writing a book and halfway brainstorming on page#but KNOWING that fixed me because it Freed Me lol. so i think of this as compost draft#(appropriate for fungus book)#it's a full mess but it's MY mess and there's some good stuff in there#but for it (like for 2021 which i also knew). i will have to literally rewrite the book from the ground up#to make it a First Draft#i did not intentionally set out to do this with last year's so it wasn't fun :(#BUT I HAD FUN THIS YEAR THIS'LL BE A NEAT BOOK WHEN IT'S LEGIBLE
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Sometimes me and my friends refer to the kiddads by nicknames to avoid spoilers. Sparrow usually gets Atlas but Icarus woks just as well I guess. Close ups under the cut
#rain does art#art#my art#fanart#dndads#colored#digital art#dungeons and daddies#sparrow oak#sparrow oak garcia#sparrow oak swallows garcia#dndads fanart#wings#illustration#dndads s2#Sparrow gripping a Sparrow and letting go of a lark#huh#wonder what that means#:]#I've had this sitting for like two months I'm just gonna post it#Sparrow I love you so much but you are such a mess my man
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just a quick ask to tell u it makes me super happy seeing the detail u go into when pointing out stuff u like about other people's art of ur ocs :3 it's so rare to see but it's so so motivating!! <3
Thank you! I don't take any interest for my art for granted, and if someone goes through the trouble of drawing my characters for me, I feel like trying to write a proper response is the least I can do. For a visually oriented person, receiving gift/fan art is a huge deal, it means someone considered my goobers worth their time and effort, they've probably been thinking about them more than a little and found them inspiring in a way or another, and I find that terribly flattering. It's extremely fun and interesting to see other people's takes on them. And I've drawn stuff for people as well, I know how nice and rewarding it feels to receive a response that is longer than a word or two. Positive comments like that can linger in people's minds for a long time, at least for me they do.
#this comes with a big serious disadvantage though#it often takes me a long time to write that response#my social batteries are extremely small and a lot of the time by the time I go online I feel too worn out to engage with people properly#I'm autistic anxious and severely depressed my spoons are in short supply at the best of times#I've always had really hard time putting my thoughts into words in a way that I find satisfactory#so I keep putting off reblogging gift art#because most of the time my brain is too smushed to formulate that meaningful comment I want to give#maybe that sounds dumb and fake#but this is something I've struggled with for years and I feel extremely guilty for keeping people waiting like that#often weeks sometimes months even#and potentially making them feel underappreciated and unnoticed#I'm also genuinely very scatterbrained and unorganized and I miss and forget things I'm supposed to do all the time#not to mention that I tend to have trouble keeping track of my mentions and dms and asks I'm only one person#so if you've ever drawn something for me and I didn't/haven't responded yet#please know it's not personal it's entirely my fault I'm kind of a mess#and chances are I'm still very much attempting to get back to you#feel free to remind me if you feel like I might have not noticed your post I really don't mind at all it often helps me a lot#and please if you can don't delete the post even if it seems like I didn't see it#because again sometimes it takes me a long time to respond#thank you to everyone who has stayed endlessly patient with me though I appreciate it#sorry this spiraled into a list of apologies and excuses this is actually something that bothers me a lot#because it's largely a mental health thing but easily comes off as ungratefulness#I'm trying to work on that#answered#anonymous
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oughghghhghghhhhhgh (vent)
#I've literally had an anxiety attack nearly everyday this month#I've been so spacey#I've had two major meltdowns (this past Monday and last Monday)#i am like! deeply not okay!!#i dont really wanna talk about it with anyone or be comforted about it directly just.#blugh. i had to email my therapist for a bonus session next week ):#i am like. so deeply Not okay. i really did not need this info. i really wish it would've been tempered in the Slightest#months old pain that i Made the Decision to not mess with BC IT WAS COMPLICATED THEN!!!!!! now just shoved in my face like nothing😝#^^^^^^ will not explain this do not ask#shame and confusion i chose to accept not having a perfect answer/closure for ripped out and theres a gaping hole where that healing was#oh gd i am sobbing in the work bathroom#just a couple of days hopefully before i can see therapist and tlak thru thid#i want to hide and be left alone until then so bad ;~;
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things will get better btw 💗
#not to get too deep but i've been really stuggling financially for months and unable to find a job#yesterday i had a breakdown because i messed up the dinner i was making and we didn't have enough food to make a different dinner#or get something#we've been behind on all of our bills and it's so scary#then something wonderful happened unexpectedly#and now things are looking up!!!!!#it's not perfect but i'm more confident in things turning around :')#personal#sally's diary
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i've gotta program something soon...
#my posts#gets computer science degree#proceeds to do no programming for 4 months#i have like a few programming ideas but starting things is hard#i want to play with godot more it seems fun#i should probably also learn C++ for job reasons since i want to get into lower level/embedded stuff and only know C and rust#i guess the problem there is i'd have to like come up with a project to learn it with#preferably something lower level#maybe finally do that make your own file system project i skipped?#or like something with compression and parsing file formats#that's all pretty involved though so something like playing with godot would probably be better to get myself back in the programming mood#some sort of silly 2d game probably#i've had thoughts of making a silly little yume nikki-like for my friends to play that could be fun#or just any silly little game for just my friends idk#starting with gamemaker kinda made using other game engines a bit weird for me#so getting used to how more normal game engines work would probably be useful#i also want to mess with 3d games that seems fun too#but see the problem with all of this is that i suck at starting projects#and am even worse at actually finishing them#well i guess we'll see what happens?#also hi if you read all of this lol
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So, it's been a million years since I've done any real writing, but I was toying around with potential descriptions for one of my dnd campaigns, and I'm really proud of how it turned out:
tw for graphic description of an injury
Every inch of [Rook's] back and shoulders is raw, covered in dozens, maybe hundreds, of small cuts. They overlap and merge so that his entire back is one giant wound. But you can't even get a good look at the cuts, because they are covered by a thick layer of dried blood, almost black in some places.
This will be part of the description the party gets upon seeing Rook for the first time after he was kidnapped by Captain Wolf, and dear god I can't wait to see their reactions both in and out of character. :)))
#the DM's response to me sending him this was ''that's disgusting I love it'' in all caps and that might be one of the best compliments ever.#if anyone's curious what happened to Rook uhhh... he got keelhauled.#the rest of him is beat to shit too but his back is a fucking MESS.#and it got just left like that for DAYS. untreated.#needless to say he's not having a very good time when they find him.#and that's before we even get into the blood barnacles!!!#morrigan.text#my writing#oc: Rook#dnd#my best friend once called me ''a sadist for fictional characters'' and when I write things like this and get hyped up about it#I can't exactly disagree lmao.#injury tw#blood tw#godddd I can't wait for him to get kidnapped.#I've been waiting for it for MONTHS now and we're still probably at least 6 weeks out from it and I'm losing my mind waiting.#sorry I don't have any ''real'' (ie from my wips) writing for you but I've been so burnt out the only thing I've had a passion for is dnd.
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hi i have been inactive for a while due to the chk chk boom. hope you understand.
#HI HELLO BESTIES I WISH I COULD UPDATE YOU GUYS BUT I HAVE BEEN SUPER BUSY AND CONSUMED BY THE HORRORS™#basically im moving out the country in like four days so packing has been a whole ordeal#not to mention i'm procrastinating feeling my feelings#my three month gre prep plan turned into a one week prep reality T-T my unofficial score is 321 out of 340 which is... idrk#i was in the middle of a lot of things and given the level of time and energy i was able to commit amidst the chaos... it's not too bad.#OH ALSO i got done with the round one registration for my courses today and it was a MESS#(technically only the in-dept courses were due today. the ones from the other depts were due 17th. either way. the website was being cruel)#oh and as for out-dept courses it's a different procedure but I managed to get Intro to ML! absolutely insane given my meager coding skills#as well as my shaky understanding of engineering calculus. in other words welcome back my arch nemesis slash lover miss mathematics#oh and! all my friends are also moving away which basically means the past week has been meeting my besties and trying not to cry#i've been reading a bit as well! i read assistant to the villain and it was simply the cutest book ever i need the sequel SO BAD#OH AND GOSE IS BACK so that's been fun#so yeah that's what's up#i really wished i had more time to update on here I had a really cool idea for this week but i've been too exhausted sighhh#hope you guys have been doing well also please feel free to text or tag me on posts i might not be able to reply but i love reading updates#sending lots of hugs and chocolates to all my beloveds <3#oh oh also please go check out skz's comeback it's so good!#okay it's like 12:26am now ima go sleep now gnight byeeee#megumi in the tags#megumi.fm
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i did treat myself a little and held out on buying a case for my new computer build so i could save up for something that's sturdy and kinda aesthetically pleasing looking (after years of living by a "it doesn't need to look pretty it just needs to do its job" invisible set of rules floating about my head) (that build was held together by spite and macgyver-esque crafting) and i just placed the order for it
and ngl lads i am lowkey excited
#the last months took a lot outta me tbh#and i'm at an infinitely better place for it (might move out soon and i can still provide for my family)#but i also fell into a very restrictive way of living again#didn't spend anything on myself in case of emergencies messing me up so i'd have savings to take care of it#definitely fell into eating disorder behaviors again because it was easy making excuses in order to skip meals#and at one point i had to take a week off coz my body was too exhausted to keep going#but i've most of my affairs in order now#my rig has been on a steady decline for about two years now and i realised that if i wanna play veilguard this fall#i really need to stop pushing getting parts for my new build to the back of my priorities#ed tw
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