#and i've been wearing it a lot because it goes well with my hair right now until it's dyed

[creaturefeaster]

WOW!!! WIRE YOUR PROFILE CHANGED!!!!

new era new me

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY GARRUS VAKARIAN, updated version  *  assorted dialogue from the mass effect trilogy, adjust as necessary

i can't find any hard evidence.

good luck, [name]. maybe they'll listen to you.

i'm coming with you.

sometimes it feels like the rules are only there to stop me from doing my work.

i just couldn't take it anymore.

maybe i can get the job done my way for a change.

if you're wrong, we'll pay for it. but if you're right, and we did nothing, i think we'd regret it a whole lot more.

i thought you were dead.

it sure is good to see a friendly face.

at least it's not hard to find criminals here. all i have to do is point my gun and shoot.

my feelings got in the way of my better judgement.

i'll make you a deal. you get me out of here alive, and i'll tell you the whole damn thing.

nobody would give me a mirror. how bad is it?

don't make me laugh, damn it.

some women find facial scars attractive.

i'm fit for duty whenever you need me.

when i got to the meeting point, no one was there.

kill you? no. but i don't mind slowing you down a little.

what do you want from me, [name]?

i know you want to talk about this... but i don't. not yet.

it's so much easier to see the world in black and white. gray... i don't know what to do with gray.

my instincts are what got me into this mess.

never knew you had a weakness for men with scars.

well, why the hell not? there's nobody in this galaxy i respect more than you.

if we can figure out a way to make it work, then... yeah. definitely.

you're about the only friend i've got left in this screwed-up galaxy.

you don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. nervous, yes... but never uncomfortable.

i brought wine.

your hair looks... good. and your waist is... very supportive.

hopefully that's not offensive in human culture.

i want something to go right. just once.

think you can win this thing, [name]?

i'm pretty sure we'll still need giant guns... and lots of them.

so... is this the part where we shake hands?

the scars are starting to fade. i remember they drove you wild.

i've been doing some more research on human customs.

glad to know my romantic skills made an impression.

let's not go there.

i can afford the good stuff.

what about you? i'm starting to see some wear and tear.

don't forget to come up for air. and not just because all these people need you. because i need you.

if you're suggesting i'm scared... game on.

still trying to make me blush, huh?

i'd be lying if i said i didn't hope it would inspire a certain... mood.

it seemed like you needed time to... figure us out.

the worst part about the galaxy going to hell would've been never getting to see you again.

not saying you don't know how to handle a gun. just saying some of us know how to make it dance.

i've actually seen you dance. no comment.

i know there are other things you're good at.

probably not a lot of air in here. an hour if we're lucky.

so tell me. think a girl would fall for that?

it gets even better when you try it in bed.

you don't lack for places to get lost.

did we break anything last night?

you'll find a way to win. and when this is over, i'll be waiting for you.

if this thing goes sideways and we both end up there... meet me at the bar. i'm buying.

forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you.

come back alive. it'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you.

we're in this 'til the end.

we didn’t kill these people. and we’re going to shut down the bastards who did.

looks like we’ve got a siege on our hand.

if anyone needs fresh clips or a bathroom break, now’s the time.

oh crap!

guess he didn’t like the food.

looks like we got the jump.

pretty extreme, but those were desperate times.

we won’t get a second chance.

that was me, sorry.

nothing like being stranded.

we’ll do more than that.

just the usual minor flesh wound.

what would these people have done if we hadn’t shown up?

i was there when you two had your thing, remember? just get a room and work it out.

stay angry. we’ll need it to get through this.

drinks will be on me.

one of my favorite places to fight!

i’m hard to kill. you should know that.

it’s gonna be bad all over.

for whatever it’s worth, i’m with you.

you’ve waited long enough for this day.

just wait ‘til this war is over.

you came along and warmed my heart with your winning personality.

maybe you’d like to go work for them instead?

how do i not have one of those?

surprise on our side for once. i like it.

brutal, but it makes a certain kind of sense.

[ellecdc]

I went to get my teeth checked today and kept on thinking abt how Lily would be a great dentist. Gentle hands, nonjudgmental, would be so accommodating to any requests or requirements you have like noise cancelling headphones or something…. And she would be soooo against the trend of recommending treatment purely based on cosmetics rather than need. Like we have doctor Remus how about dentist Lily 😂😂

you know what? this was so cute that I had to write it - also, the conversations between reader and Lily are real-life conversations I've had with dental hygienists so be nice to me, I'm still recovering hahhaah

dentist!Lily Evans x reader who goes for a routine checkup

CW: written with a fem!reader in mind and references to a medieval woman accused of witchcraft but should be gender neutral/no pronouns used otherwise, reader has a brother for plot purposes, reader had braces growing up for plot purposes, reader has a bar on the back of their teeth for plot purposes, also.....reader doesn't floss DON'T JUDGE

You were lying back on the large vinyl-covered dentist chair pondering what exactly it was about dentists that caused so many people anxiety.

This was obviously a distraction, though, as wondering why dentists were so fear-inducing was far more comfortable than thinking about how anxious you felt right now.

You supposed that as a species, humans were wholly dependent on their mouths; it was how they ate, how they emote, a method of air intake, and also how they communicate. For hunter-gatherers, an injury to one's mouth could very well have led to dire consequences.

Of course, something happening to one's mouth wouldn’t necessarily leave them completely helpless in today's day in age with modern medicine.

And though you may not have been a hunter-gatherer, you were also decidedly not a medieval woman accused of witchcraft awaiting your trial by ordeal. But the longer it took Dr. Evans to join you - leaving you ample time to consider the various torture looking devices while reclined on this chair that looked like it could sprout restraints at any moment - the more you began to feel an awful lot like a medieval woman accused of witchcraft awaiting her trial by ordeal. 

The sound of the door clicking shut interrupted your spiralling as you tried to sit up straighter in your chair only to slide back down to your original position. 

But perhaps this wasn’t your trial by ordeal; perhaps they’d already gone ahead and executed you and you were actually sitting in heaven’s dentist office because surely the beautiful woman adorned in scrubs standing before you with long, thick red hair which had been artfully plaited away from her face was an angel? 

You realised belatedly that you’d been sitting there with your mouth agape staring at her instead of confirming your name for her.

“Yes! Yes, erm, sorry.”

But the angel - Dr. Evan’s, she introduced herself as but insisted you just call her Lily - simply waved you off and pulled a stool over to sit beside you. 

“No need to be sorry! Between the constant whirring of machines and my penchant to speak a mile a minute, it can be hard to keep up sometimes. So! You’re here for a routine cleaning?”

You nodded dumbly at her as she pulled a surgical mask up over her mouth and nose, mesmerised by the way it seemed to accentuate the brilliant green of her eyes which only appeared even greener when she smiled at you.

“Alright, well let’s take a peek at what we’re working with here, shall we?” She asked as she encouraged you to lay back after putting a bib on you like some nappy-wearing child.

Oh god; you didn’t know an angel was going to be looking in your mouth! You were expecting some grey-haired bored doctor with a superiority complex; now an angel will know you don’t floss!

“Wait!” You shouted abruptly, startling the angel doctor and encouraging her to put some space between you, though she schooled her expression very quickly. “Okay, listen, I’m sorry. But you see, I had braces as a kid, and they put these bars behind my teeth! You know, to keep them from shifting? And they’re great - so great, no complaints truly; they’ve done their job, see!” You paused to bare your teeth at her like some socially awkward chimpanzee. “No shifting at all. But! But, you see, my teeth are so sodding close together now - again, totally fine! - but between that and the glue and the bar, it’s sodding impossible to floss. Oh shit I just said sodding to a doctor! Oh my god I just said shit! I’m sorry! I just don’t want you to think I’m some plebeian who doesn’t care about dental hygiene because I do! But I honest to god, hand to my heart walked around with a piece of floss stuck between my teeth for three days after I tried last so I just...sorry…”

You fought to catch your breath and it took you possibly too long to realise the angel doctor Lily was laughing at you; the mask impeded the smile but the crinkles in the corners of her emerald eyes and the gentle shaking of her shoulders gave her away. 

“I’m so sorry, I honestly thought you were about to tell me you were going to throw up on me - which would be fine! Worse things have happened quite frankly.” She chuckled as she seemed to relax back into her stool. “Why don’t we take a look?”

Burning with embarrassment, you did as you were told and opened your mouth immediately, wondering if it was at all possible for her to feel your jack-hammer pulse through the barely there fingertips pressed to your jaw as she peered into your mouth. 

“Well honestly, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of build up anyway! I wouldn’t have known you’d not been flossing.”

“Wait, really?” You asked then, causing her to move her gaze from your mouth to your eyes. 

“There’s a little bit of plaque but nothing out of the ordinary! Basically what I would expect to see from someone coming in for a routine check up.” She confirmed before taking one of her torture devices (a dental scraper) to your teeth as you watched her auburn brows cinch closer together. “Your teeth really are close together.” She murmured mostly to herself.

“I wasn’t lying.” You defended quickly, earning you a bright and bubbly laugh from the doctor. 

“Sorry; force of habit. I hear a lot of ‘I absolutely brush my teeth twice a day’ and ‘I floss regularly’ when I can easily see that neither of those things are true.”

After she had explained what she was going to do, you spent the better part of the appointment with her fingers shoved into your mouth. 

“I do not envy your orthodontist; you have a very small mouth.”

You snorted inelegantly at that as she removed her hands from your face. “My brother would disagree.”

You were rewarded with another tinkering laugh as she inspected her cleaning. “Don’t worry about the flossing hun; I’d rather you come in and have me do a cleaning for you than to hurt yourself or damage your teeth trying to floss.”

“I’m not in trouble?”

“Even if I did have the authority to scold you, you would not be in trouble. But I hope to see you in another six to twelve months for another cleaning!” She said as she walked backwards from the room with one last (now maskless) smile in your direction.

Suddenly, dentists didn’t seem so scary, and you found yourself rather looking forward to your next appointment.

[fuck-i-like-too-much-stuff]

Small addition to the Professor Peem and Professor Q tag because I seriously need to focus on my studies but We Are knaws at my brain.

"You may know that since Professor Q has taken a sabbatical for the rest of semester and since his half of the syllabus is complete, your doubts can be taken up by me. Please feel free to approach me anytime, I'll be in my office." Peem ended the lecture and dismissed the class. Yet no one moved. He looked up with confusion to the lack of commotion, to see eyes of concern.

"What's wrong?" He asks, no answer.

"Guys, I said you were dismissed. Don't you have more classes today?"

"Professor Peem, are you okay?"

Peem doesn't know what his students are talking about. He looks to his feet, trying to observe what is wrong with his appearance. Yeah, his shirt is a little untucked and his tie isn't as proper as it should've been. Yeah, maybe he could've done a better job with his hair today morning. But that shouldn't be enough to warant concern from his students, to let them know that he is, in fact, very much not okay.

It was a month ago that Phum had to leave for Singapore for two months. It was a month ago that he had started to tell himself that this was not that big of a deal. It was a month ago that he was sure these two months would go by in a blink of an eye and his Phum would be back in his arms even before he could complete the blink. It wasn't until two days back, when Q and Toey left for their Europe trip did he realise that this blink felt more like an endless and painful coma.

Yet, what he doesnt realise that this syncing of his breakdown has, once again, fed the rumors of his and Q's apparent relationship.

When his students refuse to leave the hall, despite Peem's reassurances, he does so himself. The moment he does, the murmurs begin.

"Did they break up? Is that why Professor Q took a sabbatical?"

"He takes one every year, that can't be it."

"Didn't someone say that he was going on a Europe trip? Who goes on such a romantic trip without their boyfriend?"

"Maybe Professor Peem was supposed to go but they broke up so he didn't."

"That seems a little too cruel, even for Professor Q."

"Guys, you might want to look at this-"

Toey's instagram handle open on the mobile screen, it shows a photo of him and Q looking over the sunset at the Saimes River.

"A water body. Wow, maybe Professor Q is that cruel."

The next day rolls around and now that Peem has understood that his breakdowns have to be very strictly reserved for his house and Phum's daily videocalls only, he looks just as he did always. But what doesn't change still is the sympathetic looks he catches in class.

Is he still looking pathetic?

In the staff room, he catches a hold of Fai who tells him he certainly doesn't look like he spent the last night crying. Helpful.

His phone automatically calls Fang when it comes to advice regarding puffy eyes and dark circles, not because Fang cries a lot but because between the architecture firm and being in love with Tan, he does not sleep a lot.

"I told you, you need a break. Your routine is not healthy right now, and I'm sure the college will allow you a few days off."

"I have a lot of classes, Fang. And I've to take up any doubts regarding Q's half too. This is not the time for me to take a break. Now will you tell me what to do about my eyes, or should I tell Tan that you ate the donuts I brought for him?"

Ice packs after crying, eye cream and if need be so, a little bit of concealer. Concealer that he will have to buy since Fang is not sharing his, or even Tan's. "Infections, much? Plus you're not my shade nor Tan's."

He is at the department store that is supposed to have everything. Which includes his needs for today, ice cream, rose scent candles, eye cream, and his shade of concealer, and the cologne that Phum wears because he misses his boyfriend and at least the house can smell a little like him. It also includes everything one of his students had on their list as well, because he finds her trying to sneakily click a photo of Peem trying to find the cologne.

"Guys, he's buying the cologne Q wears. He misses him so much. I also saw him buy eye cream."

Actually Q does wear the same brand of cologne as Phum, mostly because Phum is the one who introduced it to him, but its not the same cologne itself. That's not a detail the fine arts student care about as much as the wrinkle count of Peem's forehead as he tries to figure out the reason behind his student's behavior before walking over to where she is.

"Can I help you Reem?"

He then watches as his student fumbles her phone to the ground, apologise repeatedly, pick up her phone which he is sure has a broken screen now, and run away.

He reiterates the whole tale to Phum when he reaches home, a long ten minute podcast of an audio. Exactly eleven minutes after, he recieves a call from the same person, the person he needs the most.

"Hey. Long day, huh?" The soft voice speaks and if Peem hadn't kept his ice cream in the fridge, it would've also melted with him.

After an hour, Phum agrees with Fang about Peem needing a break but he also knows better than to suggest it because he knows Peem couldn't bring himself to abandon his class a month before their exams. So he says, "I'll be back very, very soon. And then your students will see just how happy you can be. Okay?"

And Peem hangs on to that okay for the next month, hangs on as if for dear life. And in this month, unbeknownst to Toey himself because he really does not care for Instagram notifications when he has his P'Q in the most romantic setting of the century, Toey's instagram account gains about fifty new followers who all have the same goal- plot revenge on Q.

[slvtforfiction]

NSFW Alphabet

☆ Sapnap X Reader

☆ Smut

☆ Hey guys! Before anything else I would ask you to request anything you want because I've lost a lot of motivation and it would really help! :D (Please look at pinned post to see if requests are open.)

☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)

Masterlist | Pinned Post

Aftercare:

(What their like after sex)

Would definitely try to make you as comfortable as possible after sex because he believes it's very important (Because it is!!) So if you wanted him to run you a bath or just cuddle instead he would definitely do it but he would definitely clean you up after and then give you some clothes along with a lot of praise.

Body part:

(Your favourite body part on him and his favourite body part on you)

Your favourite body part on him is definitely his hands because he's very skilled with them and they are extremely attractive.

His favourite body part on you is probably your ass,he is definitely an ass man.

Cum:

(Anything to do with cum,basically)

He doesn't mind making a mess as long as it's easy to clean up so if he isn't wearing a condom he will most likely try to cum on your back or stomach depending on what position your in.

If he makes a mess he makes sure to clean it up instead of you because he was the one that made the mess.

He loves seeing you covered in his cum especially when you give him head,before he cums he pulls out just so he can cum in your face.

Dirty secret:

(Pretty self explanatory,a dirty secret of theirs)

He jacked off to one of your streams before.

You purposely tried to tease him once but he never noticed.

Experience:

(How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's definitely experienced now that he's been with you but his first time with you he had only watched porn and didn't know much so you taught him even though you had never had sex yourself.

Favourite position:

(This goes without saying)

Considering that he is an ass man he loves doggy style but he would also love missionary because he loves hearing your angelic moans for him and your face as he fucks you.

Goofy:

(are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Sapnap thinks that for it to be enjoyable that sometimes you have to be a bit silly in the moment to enjoy yourself more with the right person.

Your first time together he was wanting reassurance but at the same time while he was learning he was shedding some light to the serious mood by his jokes.

Hair:

(how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He keeps his hair,down there,very maintained and trimmed but rarely shaves.

He doesn't mind if you have any hair,down there,because he doesn't think it's a big deal.

Intimacy:

(how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

If he's had a bad day he might fuck his anger out through you by going rough during sex but other times he is usually slow and sensual wanting to hold onto the moment more.

Jack off:

(Masturbation head canon)

He rarely masturbates except from when he's extremely horny and your no where near him.

If your just out at the shops then he would most likely wait for you as he palms himself trying not to be in as much pain from his boner.

Kink:

(One or more of their kinks)

Into bdsm but more of the bondage side and slightly less of the discipline side.

He loves to degrade and praise you at the same time (e.g "look at my pretty little slut")

If you two live in different states or are in different states for business etc. he would try virtual sex and it then becomes one of his kinks.

He is an ass guy so he likes anal play because he gets to look at your ass so much.

He also like orgasm control knowing that you can't cum or orgasm without his permission makes his thoughts go wild.

He loves overstimulation because he loves to feel you wriggle underneath him from it.

Location:

(Favourite places to do the do)

You guys haven't done the deed in many places because of him living with George and clay.

But when you go to your apartment instead you've done it virtually everywhere,the sofa,the countertop,the bathroom,gaming desk,everywhere imaginable.

But his favourite place was the bed because it's just very simple and you can do it at his house too.

He also loves when he railed you on top of your gaming desk,you made sure that you monitors and etc were secured before you did it and it turned out to be a great experience for both of you.

Motivation:

(What turns them on,gets them going)

His turn ons are mainly him teasing you or you teasing him but he gets turned on by quite a lot.

His main turn on was when he caught you touching yourself and just stood there and watched before railing the fuck out of you.

No:

(Something they wouldn't do,turn offs)

His turn offs would definitely be pretty based like he would hate the idea of you pissing on him or him pissing on you.

He would hate age play,watching you have sex with someone else etc.

Oral:

(preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He would prefer giving but loves your head,he thinks it's the best head he's ever going to feel and is in pure ecstasy whenever you give him head.

He would love to give you head though because he loves hearing you and he lovessss feeling your thighs clamp arohnd his head as they shake because he knows he's doing a good job.

Pace:

(are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends what time of mood he is in,like I said earlier if he's in a bad mood and if he is you better be prepared because he will go so fast that you can't move but if he's in a good mode and just horny he would be slow and sensual.

Quickie:

(their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He hates quickies because he prefers to tease you until your begging and at that point he would take you home and actually fuck you rather than a quickie.

Risk:

(are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He doesn't mind the risk and sometimes you even fuck with saps door unlocked just for the risk of George and clay walking in.

He would definitely be scared of them walking in though but he loves feeling the anxiety coursing through him which slowly turns to great sex because he gets an adrenaline rush making his stamina extreme high.

Stamina:

(how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He has a high stamina,he could go for hours without stopping and would make you cum so many times before he even thinks about cumming once.

You record of rounds was 8 rounds in one night and sap will constantly bring it up and try to beat the record if your up for it.

Toys:

(do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He definitely owns toys because he loves teasing you with them,he particularly loves thrusting in and out of you whilst a vibrator is overstimulating your clit.

He did let you peg him once but decided he hated it and didn't try it again.

Unfair:

(how much they like to tease)

He loves teasing you if your out or even just at home because he knows he has power over you and can make you fold instantly and make you so horny.

He hates you teasing him though,if you start to tease him and he gets hard so help you god your gonna need this👩‍🦽.

Volume:

(how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.

He can be load if he wants to be and quiet if he needs to be.

If someone is in the other room he will humiliate you by making you moan loud asf but he will be silent.

But if your alone he would probably give out a few moans.

He definitely moans if he's bottoming.

Wild card:

(a random headcanon)

He's definitely ate you out whilst you were streaming and you've definitely given him head whilst he was streaming.

If sapnap does give you head whilst your streaming if he's horny he's probably jacking off.

X-ray:

(let's see what's going on under those clothes)

He packing atleast 8 inches almost 9 when he is hard.He is extremely tall over your figure even though he's about only 6ft.His hands are your favourite body part of his because oh how they can leave bruises if he wants them too.

Yearning:

(How high is his sex drive?)

His sex drive is fairly high and you end up doing it atleast 2 times a week maybe even once a day,usually 5 times a week though.

If your not in the mood he respects that though and just masturbates instead.

Z = Zzz:

(how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

They fall asleep after making sure your comfortable,making sure you enjoyed what happened and made sure he didn't push any boundaries.

After you pass out and he knows you're okay and not in pain he cuddles up with you and falls asleep.

[babybluebex]

please share with the class your thoughts on best friend's dad cillian? the world deserves to know what goes down in our DMs

oh my god where to start

ok so like you've known his daughter since you were in diapers, you've been best friends for probably like 18 years, grew up together, all that mess, and you live together once you go to college

and her dad has always been super cool with you, and you've always liked mr murphy, he's super nerdy and cool, one of those dads that wears suits to the office but lounges around the house in old band tees and sweatpants (with reading glasses), has his little Man Cave mojo dojo casa house in the basement with his small collection of favorite books and vintage records, tousled salt and pepper hair, scruffy facial hair, like he is the textbook definition of a dilf

and you come home from college for like a long weekend or something and Daughter Murphy (name pending) sees her dad's car in the garage and is like "oh shit, i thought dad went with mom out of town, you'll be fine with him for the week, right? he'll probably just stay in the basement and read his stupid world war II books all day anyway"

and you come in the house and there he is at the island in the kitchen, drinking black coffee and thumbing through a thick as hell book, and he brightens when he sees you two "oh my days, you two didn't say you'd be coming home" and he hugs you extra tight and ruffles your hair and he generally seems excited to see you two, "how's university?" and you smile "we call it college in america, mr murphy" and his eyes soften as he says "now, i thought i told you to call me cillian"

takes you both out to dinner that night to celebrate, and its when you're in the bathroom at the restaurant, fixing your lipstick, that Daughter Murphy is like "i figured dad would go with mom and try to fix their relationship or whatever" and you're like "Say More Right Now??" "yeah, they're getting divorced and it's really bad, i think they're separated"

and that night, you can't sleep and you wander down to the Man Cave mojo dojo casa house and you're skimming through all the books and the records that mr murphy has, and the light flicks on and he looks SO good, ratty old shirt and plaid pajama pants that are hanging so low on his slutty hips, glasses and extra messy hair and he's like "what're you doing, love, it's past two"

and you can't say anything other than "i'm sorry to hear about you and mrs murphy..."

and he's sorta like "eh it's ok, it was bound to happen, we've been having problems for years"

"doesn't mean it doesn't still suck" and you thumb out a yoko ono record and look at it for a minute before looking back up at him, and he's leaned up against the wall, watching you

"it does" he sighs "she has a boyfriend, i guess you can call it... it just reminds me of how people don't like me"

"i like you" you shrugged "will you play this for me?"

"that's not what i meant, love," he says, but he steps forward and takes the record from you and sets it up and you're like. mhm. ok.

"i know what you meant" you tell him boldly "and i like you a lot"

and he sorta laughs "you're doing something dangerous here, love"

"what if i like that?" and he turns to you and carefully steps up in front of you, resting warm hands on your waist as he tilts his head to examine you

"well" he says, measured "we certainly can't do anything when [Daughter] is in the house" and then, because he knows that you'll whine and complain, presses his soft lips to your neck and draws you into him, he can feel your rapid pulse under his lips, and he whispers "as much as i want to, i can't. not now, at least"

you reach down and cup him through his pants, your breath catching in your throat "you're so hard, mr murphy"

"you know what i'd do to be buried in your little cunt right now?" he asks on gritted teeth "but we just can't. you have to wait"

"mr murphy—"

"i've told you for years to call me cillian" he says "why won't you?"

"b-because..." you start "because i don't want to a cross a line i can't go back on"

and he separates himself from you, going back to his record player like nothing ever happened "which is why we can't do anything" he says evenly. "i think fucking my daughter's best friend is a line that's a little dubious to cross. go upstairs, go to bed... i'll see you in the morning"

[bedoballoons]

Genshin Men react to Their Thirsty fanart?😊

Ooooooo oh my gosh I love this!!! I hope you liked the characters I picked! If you'd like to see others just let me know! <3

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿─

{༻~Reacting to their thirsty fanarts~༺}

A/n: Slightly suggestive! A lot of characters this time because I went alittle crazy! (None of the artwork in this is mine! If you look in the reblogs the artists names are there! All credit goes to them and thank you again to that person who sourced them for me!)

(Includes: Diluc, Lyney, Albedo, Wanderer, Kazuha, Childe and Neuvillette!)

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𑁍༄Diluc:

Diluc would clear his throat, inspecting the picture while his cheeks became tinted with a light pink colour, his hand running through his firey red hair as he tried to think of what to say, settling with a safer answer. "Well...this is certainly a very amazing piece of artwork. It does however seem a bit...suggestive...flattering yes, but not very true to life. I've personally never held my claymore in that way or sat in that particular.. position. Still, I thank you respectfully for taking your time to draw me...even if it might have given others a bit to much...inspiration."

𑁍༄Lyney:

Lyney would take one look at the picture, a smirk playing on his lips as his violet eyes clouded over with mischief and flattery, possibly even a tad bit of lust, "Seems I've caught the attention of some incredible artists, their work is truly magnifique! Hmm..., because they've drawn me so beautifully and one of the main things a magician is supposed to do is please his watchers, I'll do a little comparison between the art and myself...so you can all see it for real~" He'd tip his hat before starting to recreate the pose, arching his back slightly and winking in your direction, his finger up against his mouth as he shushed you, his other hand holding the ace of hearts just right so you could see it. Seems he enjoys the attention the fanarts give him, even to the point of hoping everyone will creat more~

𑁍༄Albedo:

(...is he wearing bottoms in this picture? Cause like I'm not gonna lie...I'm not really sure...)

"Goodness..." Albedo would stare at the artwork of himself for a moment, trying to collect his words as even his pale skin turned cherry red. His voice would be shaky because of his flustered state and he'd mess up words whenever he glanced at the picture, but eventually he'd manage to say this,"I don't really know where t-to begin, I mean the art itself is impeccable, v-very stylised...and ehem...the artist clearly...k-knows their anatomy. I-...thank you for drawing me." He'd look away, his heart racing in his chest and his mind plagued with new thoughts like...would he actually look good in that situation...would people want to see it...should he...try it?

𑁍༄Wanderer:

Wanderer would look at the picture, his eyebrows furrowing and his mouth hanging open for a second, "W-what the hell is this?!? Why am I w-wet in it??? Perverts!" He'd clench his hands into fists, putting on quite the show as he tossed the drawing behind him and stomped away like he's just been highly offended...even though deep down, he found it slightly...appealing. To think someone actually had the nerve to draw him so scandalously...perhaps he'd have to find the artists who had done so, just to show them how wrong of a choice they'd made~

𑁍༄Kazuha:

"Oh my..." Kazuha would say, a blush spreading across his face and his calm personality faltering for just a second, before he quickly recomposed himself, scratching the back of his neck nervously as he chose the best words to say, "The art is very beautiful, I must say they've flattered me alot though...I don't truthfully look like that...not nearly as handsome. As for the marks...on the n-neck, I don't currently have any..." He'd probably mean that last sentence as a means to say he wasn't currently in a relationship, but to anyone who had heard it...they took it as a invitation to give him some~

𑁍༄Childe:

Childe would smile happily, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed and his chest slightly puffed up with pride, "Comrades please, you all make me blush, the art is wonderful and in no small part because I'm in it...,but I assure you the real thing is better. I win, even in regards to myself.." He'd wink at you, leaving you captivated by his charm even though what he had said sounded silly.

𑁍༄Neuvillette:

Neuvillette would look at the art for awhile, his purple hued eyes widening as he scanned it into his memory and rested his chin in his hand, his long white hair drapping over his shoulders as he wondered if someone had caught him changing, since how could they make something so accurate otherwise... "Apologies, but where did you get this again? The drawing itself is indeed very beautiful and well crafted, I believe the artist who made this should be very proud...I'm just curious how they know what I look like shirtless...and who else might know as well."

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ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚I hope you enjoyed*⁠.��✧

(Open!) Taglist: @kiokiee

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

100: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Summary: This is your first case back after being released from prison, but are you really ready to come back? Hotch finally catches up with Foyet, and you don't know how much more heartbreak you can take before you break.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Season Five Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche

The FBI forced you to take a break before you could return back to work. They gave you a month. A month of pulling your hair out because you hate not working while your team risked their lives to protect others. You should be lucky they allowed you to come back. It must have been your innocent sentencing. 

Well, you're here now.

You're standing outside the FBI building too nervous to go inside. Your hand shakes slightly, your heart beats faster, your skin becomes clammy, and your head is filled with wicked thoughts. What if your coworkers moved on without you? What if they don't welcome you back? What if someone is already in there who is supposed to replace you? What if they wanted to fire you in person?

You take out your phone and call your dad. You took this month and isolated yourself from nearly everyone. The after-effects of being in prison need time to wear off. It hurt you to keep Spencer away from you all month but he respected your privacy as much as he could. It killed him not to sleep in the same bed as you every night but he knew that is what you needed.

"Y/N?" your dad answers with a confused tone.

If anyone deserves to know you're out of prison, it's your parents.

"Hi. I just... I got my trial. They found me innocent. I got let go."

"What?" You're not sure if he's saying this because he's happy for you or if he's pissed. "You're out?"

"Yeah. My team got me out. They found evidence that it wasn't me. This is good, right?"

"Yeah, of course it is."

"Are you okay? You don't sound too happy."

"I'm sorry, baby, I've been trying to jump through hoops to get one of my kids adopted. It's a bit frustrating. I don't mean to take it out on you. Listen, why don't your mother and I come down there and take you out to lunch or something? We can celebrate."

"Sure, I'd like that."

"I gotta go. Congratulations, honey."

He hangs up before you can say anything back. You're not sure if he meant that. Since being released, you've begun to question everything about everyone. If someone speaks a certain way, you become paranoid that they hate you. Prison still has a hold on you and you hate it. It's like every woman's energy is still clinging to you. It's driving your life and you don't know how to shake it off.

You force yourself to be okay as you enter the building. While you were on your month's rest, the team has been working endlessly to gather as much information on George Foyet as they could. Karl Arnold told Hotch that George often visited him which prompted Hotch to go after him. Hotch has been living in fear for too long, and he really misses his family.

It's time to bring them home.

Foyet had done a lot of injury to himself in the original string of killings in an effort to paint himself as a victim and to throw them off the investigation. As a result, he became dependent upon a large number of extremely strong medications. The team had been searching the country for patients with that exact prescription combination, but they hadn't had any luck.

You walk into work and see half your team running around trying to get their shit in order. Spencer passes by you with files in his hands but he doesn't talk to you. In fact, he doesn't even look at you. He's still pissed that you wouldn't let him see you in prison. You want to talk to him about it but it's going to have to wait.

"Y/N!" Derek smiles when he sees you. Emily turns and smiles widely, and both of them head over to you. "Welcome back!"

"Thanks," you smile and hug him tightly.

"How are you doing?" Emily asks as she hugs you.

"You know, I've been better. I'm glad to be back, honestly. I heard you guys are looking for Foyet?"

"Yeah. In my opinion, Hotch is close to going crazy. He wants this son of a bitch."

"We all do. Where is he?"

"In his office."

"Thanks," you whisper and leave their side. You walk to Hotch's office where he and Rossi are. You knock twice before entering and both men stand to your arrival. "Hi. I figure you'd want to see me before I get settled in."

"How are you doing?" Rossi asks.

"I've been better. Thank you for letting me have a month off. It helped." White lie but the last thing you're going to tell them is that you're fucking paranoid as shit. "Do I still have a job here?"

"Of course," Hotch nods. "Despite what you can do, you're valuable to this team. We wouldn't be complete without you."

"Thanks," you nod. "I promise I'll do my best and not let what happened to me affect the team."

"I believe you," Hotch nods. Someone knocks on his door and he allows them to come in. It's JJ. She looks at you and wants to hug you and comfort you but she has more pressing matters. "We've been tracking Foyet's meds as the entire combination. What if he's been using over-the-counter meds for some of it to mask his purchases?"

"Okay, narrow the search. Focus on the meds he can't substitute. Good work. Is Garcia in yet?"

"Yes." Her phone rings and she looks at you with a smile. "Welcome back, Y/N."

"Thank you."

"Are you ready to jump into this? I would understand if you needed more time off."

"No, sir. If it's alright with you, I really need to do this."

"Okay."

You and Hotch walk to Penelope's office together since you're still trying to gather information on what they've been doing. If you can do that, you'll know how to proceed without Hotch by your side. You've only been gone for two and a half months but the way you're uncertain about everything makes it feel like you've been gone for a lot longer. 

Penelope gasps when she sees you, excited that you're finally back to work. She sees the hard look on Hotch's face and decides against celebrating your return right now. Kevin is inside the office with her, and while he doesn't know everything that's been happening with you, he knows enough.

"The Foyet letters came from Fredericksburg, Virginia, and Westminster, Maryland. We can match the prescription drugs Foyet can't substitute with a geographic profile of the two cities."

"Can't substitute?"

"We need you to track the drugs that can't be emulated with over-the-counter drugs and can only be dispensed by a pharmacist, and you need to do it quickly. Foyet doesn't stay in one place very long."

"Then Kevin needs to stay."

"What?" Kevin asks and looks at Penelope.

"Sir, Kevin is an amazing analyst. I can work almost twice as fast with him running part of my system."

"Fine, Garcia. How long?"

"These are your screens," she points to the ones that Kevin will be using. "I'll know once I get into it. We're gonna work on the geographic profile."

"Call me when you have something. Please hurry."

"Okay."

You and Hotch leave her office and head to the briefing room where everyone else is. All eyes are on you which should make you feel safe but it makes you anxious. Spencer's eyes meet yours and he quickly looks away from you. Your heart aches for him. You look around the room and make your way to the chair that's been empty for two and a half months.

"There are approximately a hundred and fifteen miles between Fredericksburg and Westminster. Why mail a letter from two cities?" JJ asks.

"Maybe it's purely a forensic countermeasure. He knows that mailing letters close to home would lead us right to him, so he drives far away to mail the letters to throw us off his scent."

"The uni-bomber did that. So did the 2001 anthrax suspect. He could have gone anywhere, but he's trolling the DC area."

"It makes sense to stay close to Hotch. He stuck around Boston to watch Shaunessy deteriorate." She gasps when she realizes her mistake and looks at Hotch. "Not that you're--"

"It's alright," he cuts her off. "I know he's been watching me. It's part of the reason I stepped down so he'd think I was falling apart."

Derek immediately looks at you at the mention of Hotch stepping down. Everyone knows he wanted you to be in his place. Derek was the second choice. He may even have been the better choice. You're not the same person you were back then. The woman who helped on the case in Canada is gone. What's in her place is a woman who is on the constant verge of crying, throwing up, and second-guessing everything she does.

You hate this woman.

With two analysts working on the case, they come up with answers about the medicine fairly quickly. 

Foyet is taking a lot of medicines for his injuries, and some of them can be substituted with over-the-counter medicines. Naproxen is available in generic brands over the counter. Its properties can be simulated by Aleve. Ultram can be substituted as well. One of the things that can't be substituted is Oxycontin and because it's highly addictive and regulated, there isn't a substitute for it.

However, there are ways of scoring Oxy off the streets if you know how to look for it, and you can bet your ass that Foyet knows how to get it. If he's willing to go through all this to keep the FBI off his radar, he'll definitely tap into the Black Market for the drug. The other drug that can't be substituted is Tapazole which treats hyperthyroidism.

When Foyet stabbed himself, his body would have endured permanent internal damage. He'd need this prescription to regulate his heart rate and keep down the palpitations and tremors. Penelope and Kevin printed a list of everyone who is on this medicine within a sixty-mile radius of both cities.

"Okay, so what are we gonna do about the two cities? Usually, we need three different points to get an accurate geographic profile," JJ asks.

"This is all we have right now. Where the hell are you, Foyet?" Derek sighs.

Penelope comes walking into the room with her tablet in her hands.

"Okay, me and Kevin found a thyroid medication that has no substitute over the counter. You've gotta get it from a pharmacist, but a lot of people are on it."

"Find the midpoint between the two cities and isolate names in a twenty-five-mile radius."

"That's still a hundred and fifty-three names," she says after doing what she's told.

"He's not going to use his own name. What kind of aliases should we be looking for? He could have easily stolen someone's identity."

"No, he's a narcissist in love with his own mythology," Hotch shakes his head. "He'd use a name connected with the case like a victim or a cop."

"Check the Foyet files for a list of names."

"Nothing," Penelope answers.

"Wait a minute, guys. Foyet likes things to have meaning to him. The eye of providence and the addresses in blood he wrote on the bus that led us back to him. Maybe he's doing the same thing with the alias. Like an anagram or something."

Spencer gets up and walks to the whiteboard with a marker in hand. He writes George's full name on the board and stares at it in thought. You've always been envious of his mind. He's seeing something the rest of you can't.

Do you see something, Reid?"

"Not yet."

"Reid, he named himself The Reaper."

Something clicks in Spencer's mind when he writes the name on the board.

"Peter Rhea. Try that name."

Penelope looks at her tablet.

"There's a Peter Rhea in Arlington."

"We found him."

You feel so useless right now. You haven't said a single word since walking into the briefing room. You have no clue where they are in the case and you feel like if you try to help, you'd only get in the way. Everyone is too wrapped up in their own shit to notice how quiet you've been but not busy enough to not include you. 

You might have fibbed a bit earlier. Maybe you're not ready to come back after all.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[casual-praxis]

Okay, so I know I said I wasn't going to do much with this AU since I was focused on a different one at the time (and I still am), but I've been thinking about the post-canon for this AU a bunch and I couldn't get it out of my head.

The designs are fairly simple (most changes occur post-canon), but there's still a few details in there that I'd like to talk about! Peep below the cut for more yappin' if you'd like.

(I just figured out how to add line breaks yeehaw)

I started with Green since I had the clearest picture of her in mind. I like to think they all got a mishmash of traits from the original Link here, so Green has the og Link's ponytail, but its length was divided between her and Red. All in all, she resembles Link the closest but isn't an exact match. I also made the executive decision that she simps for Zelda. She's just really worried about her future girlfriend, okay?

Blue didn't quite turn out how I'd hoped, but if I ever do something more with this stage of the AU, I can always make adjustments. Her hair is supposed to be the fluffiest, matching the og Link's texture. She's a little insecure about it making her look "too girly" or cute since that's not at all the image she wants to have, but she learns over time that being cute and badass can still go hand in hand.

Red is the one I was looking forward to drawing most, but she's still fairly simple as well. She wears her hair in a side ponytail to "not step on Green's toes", but also because she thinks it's cute (she and Blue don't see eye to eye on this early on, as you can imagine). She has a bomb-shaped hairbow that she made herself (tying into her post-canon shenanigans), but I haven't yet figured out when she acquires it.

Vio was supposed to be holding her bow here but I couldn't quite figure out how to draw it at that specific angle, so it's in hammerspace for now. Outside that, Vio's design has the most variety. She's meant to learn emotions over time within this au, and this progression is marked by the flowers in her hair. She starts out with none, but as they journey, Red starts to teach her the basics, and with it weaves Zelda's favorite flower into her braid. Once she joins up with Shadow, she's gifted a violet (because Shadow thinks it's punny, and for subtext reasons) that she starts using to pin her bangs out of her face. The flowers begin to wilt as time goes on, first the wildflowers, then the violet, until none remain and the final act is approaching. Shadow gives her one last violet before dying, though Vio doesn't actually start wearing it until the Four Sword is put back and they remain behind. Lots of lore for this one.

Finally is Shadow, who I'm actually surprised turned out so well. I went back and forth on whether I wanted her to wear the hat or not, but I ended up deciding against it since none of the others wear their hats either. Her hair pretty much acts like Shadow's hat in canon, it moves independently of her and the tips of it are smokey and wisp around. Along with Red, I have decided she is short. It just felt right. She does have claws and fangs, but she keeps them a little more on the down low until a suitably dramatic moment occurs to reveal them.

And that's all that comes to mind for now. I've had this idea floating around in my brain since I got back into the fandom, but never had the motivation to poke it too much and see what it do.

The post-canon is what I've mainly been focused on, so maybe I'll try and doodle a few things for it sometime. I took inspiration from one of the bonus comics in the manga where they all stay split after the sword goes back, so that's the canon ending for this au.

It goes fairly far into the future, with all of them settling into their own lives somewhat independent of each other (they all see each other multiple times a week with the exception of Vio, who travels a lot with Shadow ((who may or may not have been brought back through dubious dark magic rituals))).

The brainrot is real, but hopefully entertaining for anyone who made it this far.

[reedeemable]

DBH Children Headcanons

Just like to preface this by saying that I love making fan-children for my favourite ships so I don’t care about “oh they wouldn’t have kids” or “this doesn’t make sense”. This is for my own amusement so just letting you know before you go on.

Also, I can't draw for shit but if people like my dbh children and want to see more, I will make them on the Sims or online (dress up games) and post them here. Let me know if that's something that would be of interest. I'll also answer asks about them and whatever if anyone is interested

Taglist for those who said that they were interested in my headcanons: @sundownridge @kristopher-1105 @dbhstruggleposting @glass-noodle @fearlessjones @heiko-goes-detroit

Connor + Hank

Name: Nicole (named after Cole)

Birthday: May 21st (gemini)

Appearance: She has Hank’s eyes and Connor’s hair. Her hair is fluffy/curly (like Bryan’s hair) and its shoulder length, tied into a ponytail (she also has a fluffy/curly fringe similar to Connor’s)

Other features: She has Connor’s freckles (not exact but similar) and wears glasses (inspired by the popular headcanon that human Connor wears them)

Info/Background: So, my headcanon for their child is that Connor is the one who asks Hank if they can have a child. Connor has been seeing other androids having their own families and he wants one as well. He would never pressure Hank into this but Hank agrees of his own volition and even though he’s older now, a part of him wants to try again. They have a baby via science (it’s the future, doesn’t need to make sense, haha) Because it is through science, they’re able to give her Connor’s hair and freckles but her facial features (skin, shape of eyes, nose etc) come from Hank’s dna.

Personality: - Ok so, for their daughter, I headcanon her to be someone who is adventurous and loves to have fun. She loves being outdoors, being active and anything athletic, like sports and dancing - She loves the heat and hates the cold (this is a nod to how cole died) - Even though her name is Nicole, she prefers the name Nicky (Hank called her that in the beginning because he couldn't bear to say "cole" yet and it just stuck) - She knows different forms of self-defence, mainly due to Connor's influence and she loves it. She can pull of moves that even has Connor going "damn" - She smiles a lot, like a lot a lot. Very rarely will you ever see her not smiling and laughing

Favourites: - Colour: Pink/blues - Symbol: Heart

Jericrew

Name: Riley (named after Markus’ removed romantic interest, Riley)

Birthday: November 9th (scorpio)

Appearance: Similar to her game counterpart, except her braid goes down her back instead of to the side (to distinguish her from north but in my head, she wears her hair like north's because she admires her so much) and she has grey eyes (this is a nod to her eyes being blurred out in her images)

Info/Background: Riley is left at New Jericho’s doorstep. Jericrew know that they should hand her over to humans but despite the positive aftermath of the revolution, they are still distrustful of humans. By time they decide what to do, they have already fallen for her. After caring for her for a while, Markus is inspired to fight for androids rights to adopt human children. Of course, humans are not pleased about this and there is a huge argument and debate around it but eventually it is legalised and she becomes part of their family.

Personality: So, even though her personality isn't touched upon at all, I've come up with some traits from the information and pics shown in Riley's wiki - Becomes an artist (inspired by Markus) - Good listener and advisor - Self-confident and assured - Into the boho style - Loves plants and flowers - Well-educated (this part comes from Josh, who would have taught her a lot)

Favourites: - Colour: Jade - Symbol: Chevron

Markus + Simon

Name: Milo

Birthday: July 8th (cancer)

Appearance: He is African American with short brown Afro-textured hair, shaved at the sides and light brown eyes

Info/Background: Milo is adopted by Markus and Simon after Riley grows up a bit. I imagine that because Simon is a domestic droid, he loves kids and once Riley becomes older, he aches for having a little one around the house again.

Personality: - Him being into fashion and dressing cool (since people love how Markus and Simon dress) is always something that I've liked - Combination of Markus and Simon's traits (determined, loyal, soft etc etc)

Favourites: - Colour: Dark pink

Leo + KL900

Name: Scarlett (named after Carl)

Birthday: August 15th (leo)

Appearance: So, because she was created through science, she looks like Leo and a KL900 combined. (edit: changed her hair colour and style). She has brown hair like Leo's which is short and curly (similar to Lucy's concept design) and Leo's eyes

Info/Personality: So, a little backstory on this crack-ship. Because KL900’s are created for social care, I headcanon that they have them in rehab centers. While at rehab, Leo meets a KL900 (which I have dubbed Kelly) and they fall for each other. Their daughter is born after Carl dies (of age) and Leo names her after him.

Personality: - Wants to become an actress - Has Leo's jealousy issues - Is confident in her abilities which makes her come off as a bit vain

Favourites: - Colour: Cyan - Symbol: Teardrop

Chris Miller

Name: Damian

Birthday: August 9th (leo)

Appearance: Ok this is just me but I headcanon that he dyes his hair part blonde during his teen years. I’m probably the only person whose given any thought about Damian’s appearance but ever since it entered by head, it won’t leave

Personality: - Ok, so because Chris' concept name was Chad, I headcanon Damian to be the definition of the slang meaning of a "chad" (but without all the assholishness that comes with it)

Favourites: - Colour: Beige

Name: Talia (name changed)

Birthday: June 30th (cancer)

Appearance: Chris’ hair/eye colour and Afro-textured hair that falls down to her shoulders

Info/Background: Not much to say except that I headcanon that he would have another child somewhere down the line

Personality: - She has a very "airy" personality. Like air, she's light, bouncy, free and just chill to get along with. She's gentle, caring, respectful and kind - Cries easily

Favourites: - Colour: Violet - Symbol: Butterfly

Gavin + Nines

Name: Curtis (named after Gavin’s concept name. Also Curtis means “polite/courteous and given Gavin’s personality, I think that is hilarious 😂)

Birthday: September 18th (virgo) (birthday changed cause I realised I had the wrong date/star sign)

Appearance: He has Gavin’s eyes and Nines’ hair colour. His hair is a combination of Bryan’s curly hair and Gavin’s hair from the reed900 movies (I haven’t watched them but I’ve seen a lot of fan-art with Gavin’s hair drawn like his and it seems appropriate to give his son that hairstyle) Because it is through science, they’re able to give him Nines’ hair and freckles but his facial features (skin, shape of eyes, nose etc) come from Gavin’s dna.

Other features: He has Nines’ freckles (not exact but similar)

Info/Background: I headcanon that after Nicole is born, Nines and Gavin both get baby fever and want a child as well. Science baby, of course.

Personality: - So, I know that this isn't original but I like the idea of Gavin's kid being the opposite of him. Curtis is polite, courteous, well-behaved, never swears, humble, friendly, sociable, charming, funny, everyone who meets him just thinks he's so nice etc etc - But in saying that, there a few traits he gets from Gavin. He is ambitious and an over-achiever. He's not bookish per-say but wants to do his best at anything he tries - I know I said he never swears but that's more in general. He will swear if he's mad or if he hurts himself by accident (stubbing his toe etc) - Also, his first word was "phck" much to shock of both Nines and Gavin, the latter swearing black and blue that he never said it in front of him (he did)

Favourites: - Colour: Green

Tina + ST300

Name: Katie

Birthday: October 19th (libra)

Appearance: She has Tina’s eyes and Staci’s (my name for the st300) hair that is shoulder length and tied into two low pigtails

Other features: She has freckles like Staci

Info/Background: A couple years after Gavin and Nines have their child, Tina and Staci decide to have one through science as well. Because it is through science, they’re able to give her Staci’s hair and freckles but her facial features (skin, shape of eyes, nose etc) come from Tina’s dna.

Personality: - I headcanon that she has fanon Tina's personality. If you've ever read most reed900 fics, you'll know that Tina has been given the traits of "party-animal, doesn't take shit, loves to tease, always the optimism to Gavin's cynicism, always has her friend's backs etc" - Since we don't know much about canon Tina, I gave her fanon traits to Katie

Favourites: - Colour: Olive green - Symbol: Flower

Elijah + Chloe

Name: Adam (a nod to the first man on earth because Adam is the first human born from an android)

Birthday: February 3rd (aquarius)

Appearance: He has Eli’s hair colour (his original brown, not his dyed hair) and eye colour. His hair is half-shaven and swept to one side

Info/Background: I headcanon that Eli has been experimenting and he alters Chloe so that she is able to give birth to children. Eli tells no one until Chloe is pregnant. The world is informed and watches to see if it works. It does and even though only one was predicted to be born, they have twins. Because this is the first baby born through an android, only Kamski's dna is able to be used so he has his eyes, hair, facial features etc Personality: - Genius (like his father) - Relaxed and nonchalant. Not a serious person - Enjoys the spotlight and fame of not only being a Kamski but also being the first human born from an android - Frivolous with money - Social butterfly, loves being around people and going to parties - Loves being in public - Always in the media for somethingFavourites: - Colour: Blue

Name: Ava (a nod to Eve but the e’s are changed to a’s to be alliterate with Adam’s name)

Birthday: February 3rd (aquarius)

Appearance: She has Eli’s hair colour (his original brown, not his dyed hair) and eye colour. Her hair is long and styled into a high ponytail

Info/Background: Same as Adam’s

Personality: - Genius (like her father) - Business savvy and ambitious (I haven't picked a career for her yet but she becomes highly successful like Eli) - Workaholic - Stubborn - Studious - Unlike her twin, she is smart with money - Is wary of befriending people because of her fame and status - Prefers to keep her personal business private - Not a big fan of the media

Favourites: - Colour: Red - Symbol: Diamond

Name: Noah

Birthday: March 8th (pisces)

Appearance: He has Chloe’s hair and Eli’s eyes. He has long hair that falls to his shoulders

Info/Background: Ok, so originally he wasn’t supposed to exist but after coming up with his personality and why he exists, I couldn’t resist. So, the reason why he was born is because Chloe wanted a child that looked like her. Because she was the first android to have a child, only Eli’s dna was used so Adam and Ava only have Kamski dna. Noah is more mixed.

Other features: Wears glasses

Personality: - Genius (he is the smartest of the three children) - So personally, I don't believe that Eli is evil but I know that it's a popular interpretation in the fandom so I went with it for his son - He is sociopathic and sadistic. He is reclusive, hates humanity and only respects his mother and other androids - He hates his father (because eli didn't want another child but only did it because chloe wanted it so while noah and chloe are extremely close, he isn't close with his father at all) - Because he is the third Kamski child, he isn't paid as much attention to as the other two by the public because he doesn't go out or isn't venturing into the business scene so this has left him bitter and jealous of his siblings - Wants to lead another android revolution and believes that androids should be ruling the world, not humans - Is loyal, obedient and very nurturing towards Chloe - To me, if I was a fic writer, Noah is someone who would be the big bad so his fate is that he would either end up dying or going to jail

Favourites: - Colour: Purple

Other

So, I made this next character purely for the purpose of shipping her with another one of my character's, Nicole but I lover her so much now that even if I changed my mind, she's staying

Name: Samantha Stern

Birthday: October 28th (scorpio)

Appearance: She has human Amanda's facial features, hair and eye colour. Her hair is straight and long

Other features: She wears glasses

Info/Background: Samantha Stern is a relative of Amanda Stern (the human amanda). She lived in England until she moves to Detroit. She meets Nicole in her young adult years and she ends up being a kindergarten teacher. I'm 50/50 on this but I like her having a british accent

Personality: - She is the opposite of AI Amanda in every way - She is an open book, has a warm attitude towards everyone, open to change, can be absent minded at times, encouraging, understanding, forgiving, compassionate and gentle - She's also independent and prefers to make her own way in life - When it comes to clothing, she hates big/dangly, shiny jewelery, long sleeved clothing and loves wearing dresses, skirts and shorts

Favourites: - Colour: Yellow - Symbol: Star

[they-them-that]

Light trigger warning: gender roles, misogyny, transphobia

I love Ouran Highschool Host Club and with the Shoujo classic that it is, I adopted the general consensus that the show was "ahead of its time" with how it portrayed gender. Haruhi will always be a non-binary icon but upon rewatching it, especially after my own trans awakening, I remembered something that never sat right with me and that was how Tamaki treated Haruhi. My two cisgender friends didn't seem to pick up on the same problems even though they also consider Haruhi to be non-binary which made me think I was just projecting onto the anime. But another friend of mine later told me how it was much more "heterosexual" than she remembered that helped validate the feeling I had.

Although Haruhi doesn't like to make a fuss about gender, the anime does and it constantly reminds us that no matter what Haruhi feels, she is still a "girl". Tamaki is the worst offender of this mentality where even his entire perspective on Haruhi changes as soon as he finds out she's afab. A huge part of Tamaki's character is that he dotes on Haruhi "like a father" where his actions are actually founded on the authoritative, patriarchal belief that he needs to "protect" her because she is a woman. Not just protect her from actual harm either but from things like kissing someone and wearing a swimsuit...

Although in certain ways, we're supposed to laugh at Tamaki's overbearing nature, he's never actually taught to respect Haruhi's autonomy. In what felt like every episode, Tamaki fixates on Haruhi's assigned sex much to her annoyance. Yet rather than learning to look at Haruhi as a person regardless of gender, we're expected to see his obsession with upholding gender roles as a sign of affection. This felt clearest in episode 8, "The Sun, the Sea, and the Host Club!" where Haruhi confronts two men for harassing her female peers. She gets shoved into the water where Tamaki saves her but the conflict arises when he scolds Haruhi for standing up to men at all. The message emphasizes to us that "Haruhi is a girl" and it's something that she has to accept for her own well being while Tamaki's anger is meant to be perceived as chivalrous rather than patriarchal and heteronormative. The reality is, even if Haruhi was in danger, that isn't actually her fault but the fault of the men who felt entitled to women's bodies (something Tamaki is guilty of, even if not to the same level of aggression).

I still cherish OHSHC but it hasn't fully stood the test of time as I've been led to believe. That's not to rob gender queer people the comfort they feel from the show but that for myself, it's a bit hard to look past the cishet energy that the anime exudes. Although I see Haruhi as non-binary, the show doesn't seem to agree and goes great lengths to invalidate Haruhi's gender indifference. It's tragically common in anime and manga where trans-coded afab characters are reminded that they're still women and it's usually "proven" to them through patriarchal scenarios that put CIS men in a role of dominance. A lot of the time, these women are only gender nonconforming out of happenstance or circumstance rather than by choice, which even includes Haruhi Fujioka (she only cut her hair because there was gum in it). That's not to conflate gender expression with identity but it does feel like we're only being met half way, especially when the anime still romanticizes the gender dichotomy with Haruhi and Tamaki's relationship. I would've loved to see Tamaki be able to toss the notion of gender the same way Haruhi is able to and have that be the groundwork in which their mutual feelings blossom. Instead, it just felt like we got a man who stubbornly wants someone who grew up without gender labels to visualize herself the way he does, as a "woman".

[e-pluribus-unum-e]

Haunted (1/?)

A/N#1: This is a Mattheo Riddle x OC fanfic, I did this just because I struggle with writing "Y/N" over and over again. I feel like an actual name for the reader helps you connect better, and I already struggle with being a personable writer. Please forgive me. The OC is named Veralynn Post, she goes by Vera. Idk her middle name yet so don't ask. She has long curly blonde hair, it reaches to her mid to lower back, it's also very poofy (think Hermione Granger). She has amber eyes, almost like whiskey and honey. She's 5'2 and a Hufflepuff. And she's from the US of A 🗽. It probably doesn't make sense why she's in a wizarding school in England but bare with me. Also I'll probably have smut in this at some point but that won't be until they're well into their 7th year.

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Mattheo 🥵, my terrible writing, eventual smut but not until much later in the series

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x Fem!OC

Summary: Vera's best friend finds herself in a whirlwind romance with none other than Theodore Nott. Vera reflects on her own love, how ever unrequited it is, and wonders when she'll finally confess to the man that holds her heart in his hands. 6.0k+ words

A/N#2: Dear Reader, Hello! This is the start of my very first attempt at a series LOL. I've written for my own enjoyment for years, but never on a blog or anything even similar to Tumblr. Last night at 2 AM I was hit with inspiration after hearing a series of songs play one after the other that reminded me so much of our baby boy Matty <3. So I have a timeline worked out and a list of songs I want to incorporate, one song per chapter, but that list is constantly changing because I'm trying to find the best ones possible to make this work. Also I'm starting them off in 6th year because yes, while they are minors, I need the time afforded to me by starting them off that young. No smut, NO SMUT, will happen before they're both well established 18 year olds in year 7. Please let me know how I can improve with my writing, it means a lot. It is my absolute pleasure to present you with the very first chapter in my Haunted series, When Emma Falls in Love. ---Sincerely, Me

When Emma Falls in Love

When Emma falls in love, she paces the floor Closes the blinds and locks the door When Emma falls in love, she calls up her mom Jokes about the ways that this one could go wrong She waits and takes her time 'Cause Little Miss Sunshine always thinks it's gonna rain When Emma falls in love, I know That boy will never be the same

Emma Hemlock is my best friend. I met her at Platform 9¾ on our first day at Hogwarts, and ever since then, we've been joined at the hip. With her dazzling blue eyes and her straight brown hair, her tan complexion, and her warm smile, she drew the boys' attention immediately. They would scramble to write her love letters, asking her on dates and whether or not she'd give them a chance. And she never said yes. Until, now.

Theodore Nott had been asking her out since 3rd year, always being met with a resounding "NO." He even asked me for advice!-- "C'mon Veralynn! What's her favorite flowers? Does she like butter beer? When does she-" "PISS OFF THEO"-- (spoiler alert: we didn't get along). But it seems he finally 'wore her down.'

That's such a terrible expression. At least, that's what Emma says. She explained that 'no, he didn't wear me down, I just finally had the courage to say yes.' Or something like that. In all honesty, her hesitation to say yes in the first place made sense. Theo had gained the reputation of a ladies' man, him and the rest of his crew. Draco Malfoy, Lorenzo Montague, Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, and Mattheo Riddle.

Mattheo.

A man who could simultaneously get my heart racing out of fear and attraction. Fear of him, fear of the attraction, attraction because of the fear, however, you want to put it I don't care. But we'll get back to him later. Right now, it's all about Emma and her love life.

Emma finally said yes to Theo's persistent nagging, making him quite literally the happiest man in all of Hogwarts. No seriously, he ran into the Great Hall shouting "SHE SAID YES! WE'RE GETTING MARRI- OW, DAMN IT VERA!" (I may have thrown a dinner plate at his head).

So here I am. Waiting, sitting on the couch in our dorm, my arms wrapped around a pillow as I sat on my legs, watching the door in anticipation. They started dating in the summer. Emma's family had decided to spend their two months break on vacation in Italy. They ran into the Nott's while they were there. I have a theory that Theo caught wind of where the Hemlock family would be that June, and he begged his parents to let him go spend the summer in their family villa.

All that being said, they had had a whirlwind romance that didn't end when the warmer months came to a close. It's only the second week of our 6th year and they've gone on a total of four dates. It's almost hilarious how utterly whipped Theo is for her. That boy will never be the same.

Creeeeak. The door was pushed open—interrupting my thoughts—and Emma slipped into the room. She locked the door behind herself, her face looking... oh that's weird. She paced across the floor, closing the blinds, effectively putting an end to the bright sun I was basking in. I had expected her to come in, huffing and annoyed with the latest story on Theo's escapades. But this time, no, this time was different. Her eyes held a different story. "Vera..." Her grip on the window loosened as she turned towards me. Her lip trembling, and her eyes squinting. Suddenly her face split into the widest grin she's ever given me. "Vera-" "I know." We smiled at each other, one sincere and one feigned.

"I need- I need to send an owl to my parents. I need to ask my mom- oh shit this has never happened to me before. Vera, what do I do? What is this?" She started rambling, all the while her smile remained and she ran over to her desk. She pulled out her stationary and began her letter to her mother. "Ughhh I shouldn't even be writing to her about this, it's going to end in disaster anyway!"

What made me chuckle was the way she said it. The words were foreboding, but her smile never slipped. She didn't really expect this to end in a 'disaster.' "Write your letter, Em. Tell your Momma you're falling in love." I encourage softly from where I remain seated, nuzzling my face further into the pillow between my arms. Emma nods at me, eyes crinkling yet again as she leans back over her letter.

Okay, sure, maybe I don't sound as excited as I should for my closest friend. That's not the case, I am excited for her! But now's the time when we finally get to talk about Mattheo.

Chocolate eyes, curls the color of rich dark dirt, dimples when he smiles, and the scent of cigarettes and rain that clings to him no matter where he's been. To be frank, the man is liquid fire. And everyone else in Hogwarts noticed that too. And he took advantage of that fact. He had a new girl on his arm almost every day, never coming up empty in the 'love department.' But it was never love. Everyone understood he was never and would never be interested in anything serious. The problem with this?

Well that requires a bit of explanation.

I met him the same day I met Emma. Before her, even. I had gotten lost in the muggle train station trying to find the right platform, getting bumped into by grown strangers who didn't seem to notice the lost little girl tripping under their feet. I was born and raised in America until being invited to Hogwarts, and unfortunately, my parents couldn't afford to come with me to this wild train station. So I was all alone, trying desperately to find my way to Platform 9¾.

~flashback to that day~

I huff, dragging my luggage behind me as I try my best to push through the crowd. I couldn't see many children, which gave me my first clue that I wasn't in the right place. It was mostly muggle adults going to and fro, not glancing down to notice the small poofy-haired kid all alone. My thoughts were interrupted as someone slammed into me, "OW" I cried as the luggage slipped from my fingers. It hit the pavement floor below my feet, buckles popping open as the contents spill out. I shake my head in disbelief, looking up to see who knocked into me. All I saw was the back of a grown man walking away from me, seemingly the culprit, and also seemingly ignoring the fact that he just ruined an 11-year-old's day. "Hey wanker, watch where you're going!" I jump, startled at the grumbling voice ringing in my ear.

That wasn't my voice. No, that was behind me. Turning around, I gaze upon—for the very first time—the boy who would turn my whole world upside down. He was wearing jeans, and an almost too-big-for-him flannel, his curls falling effortlessly over his forehead as he glared past me at the man who just Kool-Aided into my back.

His eyes flickered from over my shoulder to my belongings on the ground. Wordlessly, he crouched down and started folding up the clothes and slipping them back into my suitcase. "Oh- no no that's okay you don't have to- I mean- agh this is such a mess." I scramble, trying to stop him from helping any further. 'This is so embarrassing.'

I squat down next to him, working side by side to get everything packed away. His hands stopped moving at the sound of my own voice, his head turning toward me as he took in my appearance for the first time. "You're American?" "Uh-" I blush, distracted by his pretty frown. "-yeah." I finally answer, a bit dazedly. "Cool." He responded. We just sat there, chocolate eyes looking into amber, until the distant sound of a train's horn broke us out of our trance. "Riddle. Mattheo Riddle. Where are you headed?" The boy asked, sticking his hand out for me to shake.

"Oh! I'm Veralynn Post, um, you can call me Vera. Everyone does." His eyebrow raised at that. "E-Everyone back in my- HEY!" I gasp as he starts laughing. "I was just teasing you Anna, no need to fret. But seriously where are you headed?" He tried to quiet his chuckling as he lifts my bag from the ground, carrying it along with his (and refusing to let me take it off his hands).

I took out the letter in my pocket, looking at the information it contained. "Platform 9¾." He seemed to ponder that for a minute. "I don't think that exists..." My eyes widen. How could I be so stupid? He's a normal not-wizardy-boy and here I am, spilling all of Hogwarts beans to the first person who would listen. Maybe if I play it off like I'm a dumb tourist he'll just forget all about it. Wait- is he laughing? OH THIS BOY- "Man it's easy to trick you. Lighten up, Vera."

My blush deepens, but not out of embarrassment. No, I was mad. "That's not funny Mattheo, I'm genuinely lost and alone and you're laughing at me." He seemed to soften at that, his laughter quieting down. "I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you." "I'm not laughing." "Hmm... touché." The way he said it made me want to punch him in the face.

Mattheo seemed to notice the anger in my eyes as he straightened up. "All jokes aside, I'm headed there too. We can walk together?" He offered, looking at me apologetically. "...fine, but no more teasing." "That's too high a price." "Fine," another huff from me, "you can tease if you want to but at least make it obvious you're not being serious."

His grin grew. "You're funny, Vera."

~end of flashback~

I met Emma when we got onto the train, and ever since then, I've had an unrequited crush and a best friend. Emma was everything I could have asked for; a dear friend, a confidant, and a sister. And I will always remember that day in fondness for when I met her, but alongside the sweet memories of a friendship comes the tainted recollection of a lost love.

Mattheo and I have remained friendly up to this very moment, as I watch Emma fall in love with his best friend, Theodore. But after I was sorted into Hufflepuff and he into Slytherin, we went our separate ways. Never being close but always painfully aware whenever he walked into the room. In his defense, it's not like he ignored me or anything. We were amicable with one another, just not in each other's core friend group.

The sad truth is, is that girls tripped over themselves because the kind boy I met seven years ago grew into Adonis reincarnate. They notice him because he's effortlessly good-looking and always seems to get great grades, even when he's constantly skipping class to smoke or make out with some girl in the broom closet.

His chiseled abs, strong jawline, and generally Greek-god-like physique (thank you Quidditch) made him a heart throb.

However, the female population of Hogwarts treat him like a piece of meat. Even though they're aware that he’ll cast them aside after just one night of being in his embrace, not only being aware but wanting it because no one really wanted to love him. Him. I've had to watch as everyone acted as if he really was just a carnal beautiful body and not a soul.

Sure, his core friend group (Pansy, Theodore, Blaise, Enzo, and Draco) didn't care about his looks. From what I've observed, they genuinely care about him. But after years of almost the entirety of Hogwarts not caring, I've noticed how it's worn on him.

And it's not just Hogwarts and their obsessive drooling over him, it's his home life. His father in Azkaban, his mother dead, his brother ignoring his existence. He had an abusive childhood and the roughest of up bringings. The very same women who will beg him for one night in his bed, turn around to gossip about how he's the next Voldemort.

So very few people cared about him.

And I've noticed how it's worn on him.

I've noticed lots of things.

I've noticed how when he walks through the food line, he never takes the last of anything, always leaving it for the person behind him. How he hangs behind after dinner to pick up the plates and trays our fellow students were too lazy to clean up themselves. I've noticed that whenever a girl in our year comes into class with bruises on her body, her boyfriend is in the infirmary the next day and there are cuts on Mattheo's knuckles. How he slips treats to the magical creatures when everyone's too busy listening to Hagrid's lecture to even notice the exchange. Everyone is too busy to notice, except for me.

I've spent my entire Hogwarts career falling in love with a boy, who grew into a man, all while I remained unnoticed.

I hang on to every word I hear him mutter to Theo, to every nod he sends my way as he walks past, and the rare time he asks me for my notes after he misses class.

So here we are, back in my dorm, watching my best friend's love life blossom before my eyes. Yes, I'm happy for her. But yes, I'm also, admittedly and ashamedly, jealous.

'Cause she's the kind of book that you can't put down Like if Cleopatra grew up in a small town And all the bad boys would be good boys If they only had a chance to love her And to tell you the truth, sometimes I wish I was her

I tried to listen as Cedric droned on, talking excitedly about this new book or muggle movie or something. To be honest, I've missed about 90% of what he's said. I slept roughly two hours last night, staying up to be Emma's sounding board. 'She really has fallen hard for this guy.' I think to myself as I glance across the Great Hall. Theo was sitting at his usual table, with the usual people. One of those people is Mattheo...

Mattheo laughed at something Enzo said, leaning across the table to grab food off of Pansy's plate (much to Pansy's protest). 'I hope he has a good day.' I sigh, looking back down into my cup. I had my hands wrapped firmly around the mug, sipping the warm black nectar. Emma still teased me after all these years, calling me a "Yank" for preferring just plain old coffee over tea.

A masculine rumble broke me out of my thoughts as my eyes flickered up again to see what was happening. Oh. Theo was here. And he was yapping, per usual. What, when did he get here?

The man in question was leaning his hand onto the table to my right, looking down at Emma who was in between us. "Hey, honey..." He muttered, their voices getting collectively quieter as they got wrapped up in each other's presence.

I rolled my eyes, sitting up slightly to grab Cedric. He leaned forward, but not willingly. My hands firmly grasped his collar to pull him halfway across the table. "AH- Vera let go-" "Not until you get me a new dorm and a new table. I can't handle it anymore, DO YOU HEAR ME? TOO MUCH THEO! TOO MUCH!" I shouted, sleep deprivation getting to me.

Theo stopped whatever poem or other crap he was reciting for my friend, looking up just to glare at me. "Oh stop being the anti-Cupid just because you're jealous." I turn my head, poor Cedric still being subject to my grasp, just to glare right back at Theo.

"Jealous? What the hell would I be jealous of? The fact that y'all effortlessly behave as if you got SLEEP LAST NIGHT?" "No, jealous that no one got you flowers." "Flowers? What flow- awwww Emma those are so pretty!" I push Cedric back down, turning fully in my seat to see the pretty roses in her hands.

She smiled up at me, nodding. "Someone told him they were my favorite." Her lovesick grin made me crack a genuine smirk. I sigh, feigning disappointment as I respond, "Too bad they lied."

"WHAT?" Theo exclaimed, eyes widening in horror. "Veralynn Post quit lying to my boyfriend!" Emma cried out as I just laughed harder. "Sorry, sorry, I had to."

I straightened up my posture, leaning back over my food, finishing the rest of my coffee as the lovebirds said their goodbyes. We both watched as Theo made his way back to his side of the Hall, sliding in to sit next to Mattheo.

Mattheo.

He was looking right at me. I smiled hesitantly at him, but he just looked back at his own friends, conversation continuing like it never stopped.

Oh.

My heart skipped a beat and not in a good way. This happened sometimes. I'd think he was encouraging me, I'd make an attempt to reach out, he'd go back to acting like I barely existed. My thoughts wandered to Emma. Emma. She seemed to be a natural at taming the 'bad boys.'

She had broken down the walls of her man, her man who was so misunderstood and underappreciated. Theo wanted to be good for her. It was like she was a drug he couldn't walk away from, a book he just couldn't put down.

My final thought echoed in my head like a constant ringing in between my ears as my eyes felt glued to the man who held my heart. And I knew—I knew that while I was happy to be myself—that sometimes on the coldest of nights and loneliest of days, when the absence of his love and affection rang the loudest... sometimes I wish I was her.

Well, she's so New York when she's in L.A.​​ She won't lose herself in love the way that I did 'Cause she'll call you out, she'll put you in your place When Emma falls in love, I'm learning

It was only the start of our 6th year, but every morning felt as if I was waking up on death row. Like my days were numbered, and with each passing minute, the executioner took another step closer. I've always been able to comfort myself by saying, 'It's okay that I can't hold him in my arms. At least I can be near him.'

Being in his presence alone has always been enough for me. His aura, his being, his soul being in the same room as mine has been enough for me to be content. But with graduation comes the end of it all. The end of us. The end of him. You might be going, 'Ah but graduation is just next year! You have time!'

Time? Time? It's taken me six years to get to this point and you think one more will be the difference between my anguish and my happiness? The time needed to cause a change? When him and I, two separate souls, intwine to become just us? No. There's never enough time and I'm too much of a coward to try it now, with another year in Hogwarts, where I would have to suffer not only 6th but 7th year in embarrassment and rejection. Because Mattheo Riddle doesn't want an us.

'Who am I even kidding? There is no us, there never will be. I sound like a fucking stalker.' I scoff, aggressively zipping up my bag. Potions had ended a while ago but apparently, I spaced out, only coming to when Professor Snape closed a desk draw rather loudly. It was only me and three other students in the room with him, taking our time to pack up and clean our workstations.

"-Vera. VERA." My eyes snapped up, noticing Emma waving her hand in my face. I grimaced, pushing her hand away. "How long...?" "A few seconds." She answered, frowning. I squirmed under her scrutinizing overlook. Her eyes swirled with a flurry of emotions; confusion, doubt, concern, etc. "What? Do I have something on my face?" She frowned deeper at that.

Chuckling nervously I hiked my bag over my shoulder, leading us into the hallway as we began our trek to the courtyard. Once a week we always pack lunch ahead of time, and then walk down to the Black Lake to have a picnic together. It was the highlight of my day and the pick-me-up I've really needed this past week. 'I just hope we can get there before we run into Theo.'

Theo's been really good for her, and he's been really good to her. Honestly, never thought I'd say it, but he's become like a brother to me. I usually look forward to our playful banter and then watching him whine and pout and tell Emma she hasn't spent enough time with him, but something's been off with him lately.

His behavior is as if he's walking on eggshells around me. His glances were full of concern. His questions, 'How are you?', 'Do you need to talk?', etc., etc. have been way more persistent. Nothing about me has changed, at least I don't think it has. I have no clue how he's somehow gotten the skill to look right through my mask.

I risk a glance over at Emma, eyes narrowing. She was chewing her lip, her fingers tap tap tapping. It was a trait she picked up from me. She used to complain about how fidgety I was, constantly having to at least drum my fingers or shake my knee to be able to focus. Something that became more incessant as I would get nervous or uncomfortable.

And then I noticed her doing the same thing whenever she got... nervous. 'You must have rubbed off on me,' she'd say. Well, it's a two-way road, Emma. Because your annoyingly empathetic self rubbed off on me too.

I left her with a habit she hated, and she left me with the ability to read her emotions like a book. It had it's benefits. We push through the bustling crowd, making our way to the ‘glass room,’ as we so eloquently coined it in our 1st year. It was a room with an entire wall made up of windows and an almost simple back-patio-like door that worked as one of the many exits that led to the courtyard. It was our favorite, just because of how homey it felt.

I twist the doorknob, pulling the door open for her before following her outside. There was a small friendly match of quidditch being played on one side of the courtyard, some kids were studying, and there was just a general bustle of life out there. Both from the students and from nature. As we walked down the steps and into the grass, further past everyone, weaving through all the hubbub and finally getting away from all the prying ears, I turned toward Emma. We continued down to the lake but now we finally had privacy. 

“Emma, what’s been up with you? You and Theo, now that I mention it. It’s felt as if you’ve both been… watching me. It’s kinda weird.” I nervously laugh, running a hand through my blonde curls to push them out of my face. Our black robes with yellow accents swished with our movement, though Emma’s posture noticeably stiffened when I spoke up.

She slowed to a stop, hand reaching out to grab my own and making me halt right alongside her. “Em?-” “I know.” “Know what?” “I know you’re in love with him.” Time seemed to slow. My heart quickened and my hands started tap tap tapping. I tilted my head slightly, looking at her closer. I never told anyone, I never spoke a word about my feelings.

Which means she noticed, she caught on, and she figured it out. She’s the only one who could’ve figured it out. Theo’s too dense to have- she told him. “Love who?” I spat out, anger simmering just below the surface. She caught on to that too. “Matt-” I yank my hand from hers, stomping away from her and towards the water. “Vera! I’m not judging you- stop just stop running away!” “Running?!” I whip back around. “You told Theo!” 

Her eyes looked wet, her lip trembling as she took in my ruffled appearance. “I didn’t.” I scoffed. “I didn’t.” She repeated with a firmer tone this time. “He knows you enough to know something is wrong, but he doesn’t know what is wrong.” “My- my love isn’t wrong. It’s not the end of the world for someone to be loved by me.” I shutter out running a hand down my face as I try not to spiral.

I know she didn’t mean it like that, I know she didn’t mean to have that heart wrenching look of pity in her eyes. But I could just hear what she was thinking, my insecurities clanging like a gong in between my ears, ‘Oh Vera, how could you ever think he’d love you back?’

We stood in a field. Surrounded by tall grass and beautiful wildflowers, a lake just a few feet to our right, a tree about two yards to the left of us, and the sounds of our school echoing down the hill and filling the uncomfortable silence that fell upon us.

“Vera…” My friend’s words cut through that very silence, voice sincere. “...you love with a love so loyal, that you are content with standing on the sidelines for years. You love, with a love so fierce, that you will defend and fight and protect even when the object of your desire doesn’t take notice. You think I haven't noticed your absolute adoration toward the boy? I picked up on it back in 2nd year. You can’t keep secrets from me, you know that.” We both laughed through tears at that one.

I looked at her in shock, not knowing what to say. 

But she quickly spoke up before I could even fully process what she said before, “You love with a love anyone would be blessed to receive. But the fact of the matter is, you absolutely suck when it comes to confessions.”

My eyes narrowed at that sudden change in tone, getting whiplash from how fast she went from serious to downright insulting. It would be funny if the situation wasn't so emotional.

“You watch him from afar, you love him at a distance, but graduation is closer than it's ever been and you’re letting him slip through your fingers. I’ve watched you lose yourself in this love for long enough. It’s time, Vera. Tell him or move on but I won’t let you throw away our last years at Hogwarts just because you were trying to hold on to something you’ve never had.” I flinched at that, looking back toward the ground.

“I-I don’t know what you’re saying…” Evidently, Emma crossed the distance separating us, and I felt her hands comfortingly squeezing my shoulders. “I’m saying… it’s time you come clean. It’s time you tell Mattheo you’re in love with him.”

Emma met a boy with eyes like a man Turns out her heart fits right in the palm of his hand Now he'll be her shelter when it rains Little does he know, his whole world's about to change

So I told him I love him. 

KIDDING. After Emma surprise attacked me in that field, I ran back to our dorm and hid until noon the next day. She gave me her notes and we caught up on all the classes I missed, and then we talked for hours about him. And I told her everything.

Everything I felt toward him, everything I loved about him, everything I knew about him. She just smiled at me and rubbed my back during it all, giving nods of encouragement as I stuttered over my words.

The days went by as I tried to figure out what to do. I’d sound absolutely bonkers if I just went up to him and professed my undying affection. I’d become every other girl! ‘Except this time, it’d be a girl who truly cares about him…’ I thought bitterly to myself.

Every time I started to brainstorm on how I could run into him or get his attention, I felt like a crazy person. Like someone could peer into my thoughts and watch as I spiraled further and further into the madness of conspiracy theories and red string. It felt wrong to be so… calculated with him. He deserves better than that.

So I stayed quiet, waiting for an opportunity but not pushing it. Waiting for the stars to align and him to drop in my lap. Waiting like I’ve been waiting for the past six years. My frown deepened at that thought, heart weary as I walked into Transfiguration. Three things immediately drew my attention to the far corner of the room.

The object of my affections was actually… attending class.

He was sitting in my seat.

He was staring right at me.

I gulp, hands flexing around the strap of my satchel, nervously and uncomfortably holding eye contact with his gorgeous chocolate pools, the windows to his soul. The only way to describe the emotions swarming in those very same windows, was… curiosity? Amusement? Warmth? It was hard to tell at this distance—the occasional student walking to their seat or passing by to meet up with their friends making it hard to gaze wholly into his eyes.

‘Oh how I wish I knew what you were thinking…’ I shake my head, breaking that train of thought as well as the spell Mattheo and I seemed to be under. A shoulder bumps into me, reminding me I was planted in the doorway. I crossed the threshold, walking towards Mattheo— my desk.

“I’d say I was happy to see you but I’d be happier if I had my own seat.” I prodded jokingly as I sat down rather heavily in the seat to his left. A laugh slipped out of his lips, the corners of his mouth curling into a smile, throwing his head to the side to look at me. “Your seat? I’ve never seen you sit here, baby.” Mattheo teased, eyes glinting with humor.

I felt my cheeks burn at that comment. He said it so casually, that term of endearment that I would give anything to hear him say with meaning.

Our interactions always went this way. He'd shamelessly flirt with me (making me feel as if I couldn't breathe), I tried my best to meet his challenge (occasionally I got him to blush too), and it always ended with him walking away without a backwards glance. ‘Stop, stop thinking that. He’s talking to you, talk back!’ My inner Jiminy Cricket chides.

“You’ve never seen me sit here? Well, darling, I’d have to say this is the first time I’ve seen you in this class. It’s no wonder you’ve never noticed me sitting here.” Mattheo’s eyes widened slightly at that but his smile never faded, pleasantly surprised respond with your own pet-name. 

“Wizards and witches, quiet down!” Professor McGonagall called out, dropping a heavy book onto her desk. The sound of the loud thud echoed as the surrounding voices hushed to a silence. She had everyone’s attention. Well, everyone except for the two kids in the far corner.

We continued gazing into each other’s eyes, brows furrowing into an almost challenge to see who’d turn away first. “Ah, Mr. Riddle. Glad to see you bothered to grace us with your presence.” The older woman clicked her tongue, effectively pulling us apart, our eyes breaking contact as our heads whipped toward her. “Talk to me after class.” McGonagall made sure to stare point blank at Mattheo, voice steady and tone devoid of humor. “Fuck, she looks mad.” I put my hand over my mouth, holding in a snicker at Mattheo’s whispered comment as our teacher begins her lesson. “Stop, you’re gonna get us in trouble.” I scold, opening my notebook and reaching into my bag looking for a quill. Oh crap.

My eyes widened in panic. No quill. I started unzipping the different pockets, rummaging around, hoping that with enough silent begging and prayer, one would just magically appear. ‘It’s fitting we’re in Transfiguration… maybe the lesson will be on “Making Your Own Quill.”’

I’m pulled out of my inner grumbling with a tap on my shoulder. I was bent over toward the side, in between Mattheo and I’s tables, searching as silently as possible for anything to write with. So the sudden feeling of two fingers tapping my arm made me jump slightly.

I glance up, seeing the prettiest and most annoyingly smug grin. “If I lend you a quill, will you lend me your seat?” He asked, tapping on the chair he was leaning back in. I frown, eyebrows furrowing yet again as I sit back up. “You not only brought one, but two quills? I didn’t know you owned a notebook.” I whisper back, happily shocked to find out he had planned to pay attention today.

“No, I brought one. And trust me, it was a spur of the moment decision. Deep down we both know I wasn’t gonna use it anyway. Just take it.” He finally pulled out the writing tool from his bag, sliding it onto the wood slab in front of me.

“Mattheo I can’t take your onl-” “You can, and you will.” He smirked, insisting. "Well..." I sigh, nodding as I picked up the feather. "...Mattheo Riddle. You are my hero." "Call me any day baby, I'm happy to rescue such a beautiful damsel." His eyes glinted with amusement at my burning cheeks.

He turned back to face the front of the class, his heart stopping stupid ass grin staying plastered on his gorgeous stupid ass face. ‘He called me bea-HE CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL. What the heck is happening.' I close my eyes, breathing in and out a few times to try to get control over my racing thoughts.

'Will I ever get used to the utter heart palpitations this man causes me to have? It’s like a rabbit is trapped in my chest.’ I shake my head, looking back down at my journal.

I didn’t even know where to begin, utterly lost in this day's lecture as the past however-many-minutes was spent paying attention to Mattheo and panicking over my lack of writing tools rather than the actual subject Professor McGonagall was droning on about.

My thoughts wander back to what I was thinking of before I saw the beautiful boy to the right of me. I’ve been waiting for six years. For six years I’ve been waiting for the perfect opportunity to drop in my lap, or for Riddle to come profess his love to me, or something, anything. I can’t even remember at this point.

I was tired of it all. Tired of waiting, tired of not knowing, tired of not living just because I yearned for something I didn’t have. I dip the quill in the ink, hesitating as the tip hovered over paper. The ink gathered at the point, almost falling off and splattering on the white page.

I glance to my right, gazing fondly at him. His profile, his curls, his general posture as he tried to pretend he was paying attention but he was simultaneously fighting sleep. His eyes kept fluttering shut and he was slumping further and further down into his chair.

I look back down at the paper. I’m tired of waiting. And so I began writing.

I met a boy with eyes like a man Turns out my heart fits right in the palm of his hand Now I’ll be his shelter when it rains Little does he know, his whole world's about to change

[eyes-of-rock]

Gambling With The Heart

chapter one

Eric Singer X OC

Jewel took the gamble of her life when she moved from a small town in Canada to Las Vegas to pursue her dream of making a name for herself as a professional poker player. She’s all alone in a new city until a chance meeting with Eric Singer changes that.

Jewel’s POV

Two weeks ago, I took the biggest gamble of my life. I moved from my small town in Canada to Las Vegas.

I have two great loves: poker and classic metal and rock. I have no musical talent, so I decided to pursue being a professional poker player.

I was fascinated when I saw my dad and his friends playing it at our kitchen table. I fell in love right there and then. I dedicated my life to learning and playing the game. That dedication paid off because I was good enough to win every tournament back home.

That’s good, but winning tournaments in Atlantic Canada isn’t how you make a name for yourself. It's not how you make it to the next level. The only way to do that is to play in tournaments in places that matter.

Naturally, the closest place to my corner of the world was Vegas—the gambling capital of North America. I had my eyes on Vegas for years. It's been a dream of mine to make it here and play since I was a kid.

I finally took the biggest gamble of my life, packed up my whole life, and moved here. I knew in my heart it was the only way to make it. It's the only way I'd honestly be happy. It's a risk, but it's one I had to take. I know I'd regret it if I didn't.

Am I scared? Yes. I'm terrified. If this all goes south, I have no one to run to here. Everyone I know is a country away. Yet, I am pushing that fear down.

After all, I'm good at hiding my emotions. You have to be to be a good poker player. You can't let anything slip through. You can't let anyone at that table know anything you're thinking.

You not only have to be stoned-faced, but you also have to learn to read other people. Which I also happen to be good at. It is a curse because no one can hide anything from me. I know right off the bat if they are up to something. It saves me a lot of trouble but makes it hard to find people to let into my life.

I'm playing in my first major tournament, which is coming up in the next few days. This will determine if I have what it takes to play with the big boys. I have faith that I can do it. After all, people consistently underestimate me. I doubt it will be any different here.

In the meantime, I still have a couple of days worth of work ahead of me. I took a job as a card dealer. That way, I can still pay the bills and make extra money if I don’t win immediately. It's a fun job; you can make extra money on tips.

I'm sitting in a restaurant alone, having lunch on my day off. I figured I had to start getting used to doing things alone. Plus, I felt like getting away from my apartment and trying to unpack my whole life. So I'm sitting here people-watching and waiting for my food. Trying to pretend I'm not lonely. At least no one can tell by my face.

I glance across the restaurant as three people sit at one of the empty tables. It's two older men and a woman. The two men look familiar to me. Like I know them from somewhere, but I can't place where.

One has long, shoulder-length dark hair and a dark goatee that matches. He also has an erring and wears a dark denim jacket, t-shirt and jeans.

The other one has longer hair. His is lighter blonde at the top but fades into a darker blonde at the bottom. It suits him well. He's wearing some bracelets on one wrist and a nice-looking watch on the other.

I don't know much about watches, but I've won some when people have gotten desperate. I always pawn them off for the money, except for the first one I ever won. It was my first game, so it meant a lot to me. That one I kept as a good luck charm. I’m always wearing it.

They look like they’re rock stars. So that's for sure how I recognized them. I just can't place what band or bands they are in. This is going to drive me insane.

———————————————————————

Eric's POV

“Now that kiss is over, have you considered trying to find someone again?” Lisa asked me as she read over her menu.

I think it's a known fact by every person I know I have the worst luck regarding women. Every relationship I've had has ended for one reason or another. Most of them don’t last more than a few months.

After a string of failures, you just kind of give up. I'm not someone who gives up quickly either, but sometimes you just have to accept it's not happening. You aren't going to have that life, even if you want it. There is no point in trying when you know how it will end; with the girl finding someone better or finding something about me, they can't get past it.

“Here we go again.” I sigh. I know Lisa means well, but we’ve had this conversation before.

“We’re just worried you might be lonely,” Lisa says.

I hate people worrying about me. I can handle myself just fine. I'm okay with being alone. I've accepted it, plus I'm not alone. I have friends and my cats.

I look over at Bruce.

“Can you make her stop worrying about me?”

“No, because I worry about you too,” Bruce admits.

“You don't need to. I'm fine,” I say, dismissing him. “If I wanted someone, I could find someone.”

That statement isn't completely true. I'm sure I could find someone; can I walk up to her and lay it on? No. I'm not that kind of guy. I can’t flirt to save my life. I completely lock up and just start rambling about something random. That turns off most women, to begin with.

“Really?” Lisa says, sounding unconvinced, “I don't think I've ever actually seen you chat up a girl before.”

“I've known him 30 years, Lisa, and I have never seen that.” Bruce agrees with his wife.

“What do I have to do to make this conversation stop?” I ask, groaning, “Do you have to witness me failing with a girl? Would that make it end?”

“We just care about you, Eric.” Lisa says, “I just don't want you to end up alone.”

“Stop being so cynical,” Bruce says, “Maybe me and I can help you find someone.”

“Do you have many single female friends I don't know about?” I ask sarcastically.

“Um,” Lisa says, looking around the restaurant, oh, I don't like where this is going.

“What about her?” Lisa said, looking over toward another person in the restaurant.

I glance over to see who she's looking at. There’s only one person it can be. A pretty young woman with dark hair. She's sitting alone and can't be older than twenty-five. There is no way this pretty young woman would want anything to do with me, an older man.

“If I go and talk to her, will you two quit it?” I ask; I already know how this is going to end. So I might as well get it over with to enjoy my lunch in peace.

“Yes,” Bruce says.

“Fine, I'll go talk to her, but I'm only doing it, so you two shut up,” I tell them as I get up and walk over to where she's sitting.

———————————————

Jewel’s POV

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice the blonde guy getting out of his seat. Then I see him coming over towards me. Why is he coming over here? Oh my god. Maybe he noticed me looking at them? I wasn't staring; I was just trying to figure out who they were. I guess I'm about to find that out.

“Hey…..uh….nice watch.” He awkwardly says, pointing to the watch I wear for good luck.

“Thanks, I won it in a poker game,” I tell him, holding up my wrist.

“You won a 10,000-dollar Heuer watch in a poker game?” He asks me, sounding taken aback by that; it takes a second for what he just said to sink in.

Did he say that this watch I won in my first tournament, which I've been wearing daily, is worth 10,000 dollars?! What in the fuck- I mean, I knew the guy who lost it was drunk, but I didn't think he was that drunk. I've been wearing a 10,000-dollar watch as a good luck charm, thinking it was worth 1000 dollars at most.

“This watch is worth 10,000 dollars?!” I gasp in total shock.

“Yeah…wait, you didn't know that?” He says, looking intrigued by how I never knew that.

“I don't know anything about watches,” I admit,

“The guy who lost it to me placed it down as a last-ditch effort to stay in the game on an all-in worth about $500.” I explain, “I guess he was way more wasted than I thought.”

“He must have been, you got that watch for a fucking steal.” He says, looking astonished some guy would bet this watch on $500.

“If you know nothing about watches, why did you keep it?”

“Oh, it was my first major win, so I kept it to commemorate it,” I tell him, “It's kind of my good luck charm.”

“Well, you lucked out; that's also a hard watch to come by.” You can just tell Watches is this man's passion. He seems very knowledgeable, and his face lights up when discussing it. It's honestly cute.

This still doesn't solve the mystery of how I know him, though.

“I fucking guess so.” I laugh, “I guess I won more than I thought in that game; I'm Jewel, by the way.”

“I’m Eric.” He tells me with a smile, “Are you a professional poker player?”

Eric. Hmmmm. There are a lot of guys in rock named Eric. It doesn't narrow it down too well, yet I feel I'm getting closer. It's too bad he didn't give his last name.

“Well, yeah, kind of. I'm not at a high level yet, but I'm working towards it.” I tell him, “What do you do?”

“I’m a drummer, watch collector and sports nut.” He tells me.

Drummer. That's when it clicks. He's fucking Eric Singer of KISS. Fucking hell. I feel embarrassed it took me this long to put it together, considering they’ve been one of my favourite hands since I was a kid. In my defence, Paul is my favourite member.

“Oh, you’re Eric Singer! That's how I know you.” I say out loud, proud I figured that out by mistake. Jewel, that's an inside thought, you dumbass.

“Yeah, that's me.” He laughs.

“Can I ask you something?” I ask him.

“Sure,” Eric says.

“Who's the guy you with? I know him somehow, too, but I can't place him.”

“Oh, that's Bruce Kulick. He was in KISS probably before you were born.” Eric tells me,

“Oh god, that's embarrassing.” I confess, “Considering he's my favourite KISS guitarist.”

“He does look much different than he did back in the band.” Eric jokes, “So you’re a KISS fan and a poker played?”

“Yeah, that about sums me up. You’re just missing the fact that I’m Canadian.” I laugh.

“Oh really? Canada is a beautiful country; I bought this watch in Toronto. Did you come here to play poker?” He rambles in the cutest way possible.

“Yes, I did,” I tell him, “About two weeks ago.”

“Wow, you’re new to Vegas then. If you want, I can show you around sometime. I'm not from here either. I’m from Ohio but lived in Los Angeles for a long time; I loved here a few years ago, though.” Eric offers.

I don't know anyone here, plus who the hell would say no to Eric Singer showing you around Vegas? That's like some experience people would pay for. Plus, he's very friendly and talkative. So I’d probably learn some excellent stuff; I also like listening to him talk.

“Okay, I'd like that,” I smile at him.

“I’ll give you my number.” He smiles back.

“Okay, I'd love that,” I replied, taking out my phone so he could enter his number.

“Okay, I'll be right back.” He says, getting up and rushing back to his table with Bruce Kulick.

The woman at the table, who I assume is Lisa Kulick Bruce’s wife, reaches into her purse and hands him some paper and a pen. Then he quickly writes down what I'm thinking is his phone number.

“Here you go,” Eric says handing me his phone number on the piece of paper. I can't remember the last time someone gave me their phone number written down. It's so charming.

I tare off a corner of the paper and reach into it to my purse, grabbing a pen. I write down my new number, my American number, double checking in on my phone and hand it over to him.

“And here’s my number.”

“Thank you.” He smiles taking it from me, “Just call me and let me know when you'd like to meet.”

“I will,” I tell him, then he turns and walks back to his table. Just in time for my lunch to arrive.

Well, I've been here two weeks, and I managed to get Eric Singers' phone number without even trying. I'm looking forward to seeing him again. Maybe I'm not as alone as I think.

[kashilascorner]

New entry for @queer-ragnelle's May Day Parade!

May 6-10: Queenly Month of May {May Queen Guinevere}

This post has been haunting my mind ever since I read it, so here goes another angsty short story from yours truly ❤️

cw for death mentions and (implied) drowning

Edit: you can also read it here ^^

It's May again and I wonder what she's doing. Did she raise the maypole? Does she make her maids run around it until, dizzily, they stumble one over the other, all dressed in white, like drops of falling snow? Does she make her knights play games, like a living chessboard? Is she dancing? No, not now, it's the middle of the night. She must be braiding her hair. Does she do it herself? Perhaps Brangaine is doing it. She will dance in the morning.

I brush my hair over and over and over again because my hands have nothing else to do, and I think of those hands, his hands, that have steadied me, cherished me, so many other times. Where are they now? They are gone. They are ready for another woman to fall, they are eager to assist someone else.

This game of mirrors sickens me.

I used to have a mirror, a wedding gift, made of pure silver, so polished that it reflected everything with astonishing precision. Some treatment, or perhaps an enchantment, kept it from darkening and rusting. It's the best mirror I've ever known, so little deformation and loss of color in its image that I have come to know well what I look like. I spent a lot of time in front of that mirror, looking at every single inch of my skin, worrying when I felt my flesh coming down as years passed, pleased when my face looked good and unblemished, happy to see my braided hair. I loved that mirror. Or perhaps I just loved myself. Perhaps my biggest sin was vanity, and this is my punishment for it.

She is perfect. She is just like me, and yet more perfect than I could ever be. Her skin is softer, her eyes brighter, her arms firmer, her frame slightly lovelier. She's a me I lost in that mirror many years ago, when I was still young, and beautiful, and more hopeful. More hopeful. When everything was possible, and nothing was denied.

I think of my aching skin, my cold bed. I wake up with the feeling of a brush of his lips, the scratch of his beard on my cheek, the weight of his hands on my waist, only to find myself alone. Only to remember that he is touching her. I don't have the strength to feel tortured by it anymore. All I can feel is a void, a sense of unreality. I live in a dream, wake up in a nightmare, fall asleep in a trance. I'm not real. I am real. She's not me, but she has what I have. She has all that was ever mine. What is someone, if not their possessions? There is still the self. But what is someone who cannot be seen? What am I if I am not perceived, not recognized as myself? I'm thin air, I'm nothing.

I'm absence, an abundance of silence: nothing.

Is she really so much like me? Does she have my same cursed womb, all my wasted useless love, all the secret longings that live under my skin? Does she hate like I do, love like I do? Does she try to love her enemies only to find herself failing? Does she keep it all in order, the dogs and the garden, and the maids, and the bookkeepers, and the dresses organized by color? Did she remember to request the butter pastries for his birthday, the ones that he loves so much, with dried plums on top of them? His favorites... I ate dried plums on his birthday, just to remember the taste of his smile. The smile I still adore. The smile I hope to not forget.

Lancelot has come today. He has looked at me and talked to me.

He reminds me that I have a voice. It's been so long since I last spoke that my lips hurt when I open my mouth. He has worry in his eyes and wears his desperation like a mask. My brave, brave, Lancelot, you do remember me, right? You do see me, don't you? I'm not a shadow, so don't look at me this way. Am I this pitiful? Or is it that you don't love me anymore? Have you fallen for her too? Where do you go, where does life lead you, so far away from me that you can't guard my nights, that you can watch over my sleep? Maybe I am a ghost and you are the only one who can see me, and my dead face scares you. When I get close to you, you take a step back. Do you hate me so, for all the things I've made you do? For all the love that festers in your heart, the heavy burden of our unspoken desires rotting within you like this flesh I live in rots by the moment?

I would beg you to hold me, but I have no strength for begging. Not when you look at me this way. These walls will be the death of me, and now I know how that girl felt, the girl who died for you, the girl who died because her love was bigger than her life, your absence harsher than death itself. What was her name? I don't remember.

I don't remember so many things.

I wonder what she is doing today, at the party. My May Day Party. I picture her dancing. I used to love dancing. And then I think of Lancelot's girl, floating in the water, her body moved by the waves seems to me a lot like dancing. What was her name?

If I can make it through another day, I hope I can be blinder than I am today. I hope I can't make sense of the light, or the flowers. I hope I can't see so I can't remember. I hope you do not come and remind me that I'm still myself, but not myself, never myself; never again.

You have brought me berries today, black berries and I eat them, but I can't taste them. She must be tasting them, the one that looks like me.

I don't think I will stay awake tonight, I'm so tired from this walk, so tired from this talk, but I don't know what you are saying. I can't hear you very well, your closeness is as remote as your distance. Nothing feels real until you hold my arm. The touch reawakens me, makes me dizzy. I could crumble in your arms, become dust, fly away. Dust you are, and dust you shall become, and my time is due to fly.

The girl, what was her name? I keep thinking, it feels crucial to remember. I try to find her name deep within me, among all this decay –the ruins of my mind.

Guinevere, I hear you say from afar. Your lips brush my forehead and I think “Guinevere: such pretty name for such pretty girl.”

[peppermintquartz]

AU where no one is a firefighter except Eddie

Buck is part of Christopher's physical therapy care team

Tommy is a new Muay Thai instructor at the gym Eddie's going to.

*

Collusion

*

Buck looks around, a little curious about what a combat-focused gym is like. Two separate rings on the far end, a sparring session going on, many heavy bags behind the rings, then a whole mirrored wall on the left taken up by racks of free weights and kettle bells, the usual machines closer to the entrance, wall-mounted bars on the right side, and finally six treadmills and six spin bikes filling up the middle.

Feels a little too stark, he thinks, taking in the bare walls. It's a lot larger than the gym Buck goes to, but he's not going to drive an hour out of his way just to keep himself fit.

The sounds of impact from the ring are often met with claps or cheers from the watching group. Buck wanders over, painfully aware how out of place he must look, in his jeans and blue hoodie, but he's not here for a workout anyway.

The two in the ring are wearing helmets and their hands taped up. One of them - red helmet - feints right and his opponent in the blue helmet takes the bait, his left leg snapping up to kick. Red Helmet catches the ankle and shoves, following up instantly with a kick that lands on Blue Helmet's hip.

To Buck's surprise, Blue Helmet doesn't move an inch. Instead he holds up a finger. Red Helmet stops moving and straightens. After shaking hands, Blue Helmet removes the headgear, revealing a dark-haired man with a chiseled jaw and strong nose, and a cleft in his rather prominent chin.

"So that feint that Jacob did was really good," the man says. He is glowing with perspiration. "And it worked because the previous two attempts were not feints. He was priming me for this one. Well done, Jacob. Now, if that kick had come up higher, aimed at my shoulder, it would have pushed me off balance more."

The man goes on speaking, though he pauses momentarily when he noticed Buck. Even so, he finishes his explanations and sets his class to practice roundhouse kicks with the heavy bags before he comes over to Buck.

"I don't know you, do I?" The instructor hops off the apron of the ring and holds out a hand after dabbing his brow with a towel.

"Uh, hi, no," Buck stammers. Close to, the instructor is even more handsome, and now Buck sees that the man had ear piercings. "My name's Evan Buckley."

"Evan, hi. Tommy Kinard." Tommy flashes a wide grin. "Like what you see?"

"Very much," Buck blurts out, registering only later that Tommy was referring to the Muay Thai. Now Buck can understand why Eddie and Christopher have both been raving over this man. He shakes off his awkwardness. He's not here to make friends, he's here to conduct a transaction. "B-but I'm not here about that. I'm, uh, I'm a friend of Eddie Diaz."

"Oh, okay! That's cool. Did he recommend my class to you?"

Buck smiles and sighs lightly. "Yeah, all the time. I don't know if I'm gonna get into a sport where two half naked men pummel each other, but he seems to be having fun." And Eddie has been talking constantly about you, how cool you are, how you and he have served in the army, how you have a car lift in your place, how competent and clever and chill all the time... If Eddie wasn't dating Marisol I think he'd ask you out. Buck clears his throat. "Actually, this is about something else. Would you be free to chat later? I don't wanna hold your class up too much."

Tommy shrugs. "Sure. I've an hour left of the class though, and then I'm free."

"Great! I have some errands to run, and then I'll pop back here, and we can talk." Buck shakes Tommy's hand - big hand, strong grip - and nods.

*

An hour later, Buck is waiting at the reception area. The dry cleaning has been dropped off and he finally got the bag of rice he's been intending to buy in the back of his car. Mentally ticking off the ingredients in his fridge, he almost fails to notice Tommy approaching him until he looks up and meets a pair of blue eyes.

His breath skips.

"Hi Evan. You wanna chat here in my office or...?"

"Office is good."

Tommy leads the way into a cluttered room. There's some organization - all the folders are in a metal shelf, and certificates and awards are framed on the wall behind Tommy's desk. The desk itself was piled with stacks of paperwork. Buck's fingers itched to put things in order, especially the tilted frames behind Tommy.

"Sorry about the mess," Tommy says, sounding a little embarrassed. "We're nearly to tournament season and the number of forms I have to fill goes a little insane."

Buck shrugs. "It's okay. No forms to fill from me, I promise."

Tommy crinkles a smile at him again. "Alright, take a seat. what's this about?"

"You know Eddie has a son?"

"Yeah, Christopher. Met him a couple times. Eddie's always talking about him."

Buck nods and ducks his head with a smile. "It's a couple of weeks to Christopher's birthday and, um, I heard from Eddie that you used to be a pilot. And that you fly for fun sometimes."

Tommy tilts his head. "So..."

"I was hoping to engage you as a pilot to fly Christopher on a helicopter. He's never been on one and it'll be really good for him to experience it. I've asked my lead in his care team and he'll be fine, he just needs help getting on and off the helicopter and making sure he's secured properly."

Tommy's face falls. "Sorry, Evan. I can't do that."

Buck's heart sinks.

Tommy goes on. "Because that's my present to Christopher. I even have the route planned out. I was gonna tell Eddie next week so he'll drive Chris out to the heliport."

"Oh, okay." Buck can't help feeling like the wind has been taken out of his sails. He thought it was a great idea too, and even finagled Tommy's workplace out of Eddie, plucked up his courage to approach the man for this.

Tommy reaches a hand across the paper-strewn desk. "Wait, I have an idea. Why don't we collude?"

Buck raises his eyebrows. "What?"

"I won't ask Eddie to bring Chris over. Instead, you take them to the heliport," says Tommy, his eyes bright, "I'll fly all four of us over some of the prettiest sights along the coast, and then-"

"-Italian for dinner and ice cream sundaes for dessert," Buck finishes. He isn't going to let Tommy plan everything. The bond he has with the Diaz family is one he guards jealously, and while Tommy is a very attractive man, Buck isn't about to let him take Buck's place. "I'll make the reservations."

"Sounds good," Tommy replies. He takes out his phone and unlocks it. "Let's exchange numbers."

"Exchange numbers?"

Tommy looks at Buck, amusement hovering over his lips. "Kinda need your number to collude, Evan."

"Oh, right. Yes." Buck gets his phone out as well to save Tommy's number.

Tommy frowns at his phone. "Uh, sorry. How do you spell your last name?"

"B-U-C-K-L-E-Y."

"Oh, you're Buck! I thought... Shit, sorry. I thought you were another friend of Eddie's, someone he's never talked about."

Buck's confusion must have shown on his face, because Tommy gesticulates a little awkwardly as he explains, "I heard you say 'Evan Barkley', as in B-A-R-K-L-E-Y, and I'm not the smartest tool in the box so I didn't put two and two together. Wow, I'm an idiot." He grimaces, and the crinkles around his eyes make another appearance. "Sorry. Should I call you 'Buck' instead?"

Buck considers. Sure, no one else but his parents call him that, but he doesn't hate the way the word sounds in Tommy's mouth. And it'll be an easy way to remind Buck that Tommy's not part of Buck's chosen family if he's the only one calling him Evan.

"Nah, Evan's good. Otherwise I'll think you're asking me to go 'woof' or something," Buck teases.

Tommy's cheeks flush a charming shade of pink, probably from embarrassment. He makes a wry grimace again and extends a hand. "Here's to a happy collusion."

"Text me the time and place, and I'll get the Diaz boys to you," Buck says and shakes Tommy's hand.

It's strange. He wanted to dislike Tommy, coming here to see for himself who this Tommy is and why his boys have been so taken by him. Now Buck finds himself looking forward to receiving messages from Tommy and to taking a ride on his helicopter.

[kimbapisnotsushi]

i started writing this back in the last week of december going on into january bc we had so many karasuno bdays back then so uhhh TECHNICALLY this is a late bday post honoring like four people LMAO but let's go!!

during kageyama's first birthday at karasuno he gets a mysterious series of texts from an unknown number that goes like > happy birthday > not that this means you're forgiven > just thought it was the right thing to do > i know it's your first since. well. you know > you don't have to text back or anything!!!! > fuck fuck fuck just pretend this never happened BYE

he brings up it up two years later when he, kindaichi, and kunimi are better friends and kindaichi buries his red face in his hands and screams and kageyama isn't sure why

kunimi pats him on the back and tells him not to worry about it

ennoshita has a playlist that is solely just like white noise and creaking sounds and generally just things that would make you shit your pants alone in the dark and when asked why he just goes "it's the only way i can feel anything inside"

tsukki will NEVER admit it but he ASPIRES to be the level of deadpan that ennoshita is

tanaka: "so . . . why do you like him again?" ennoshita, watching a video he recorded of futakuchi walking straight into a lamppost bc he was playing pokemon go: "he makes me laugh"

no joke i think ennoshita is a dateko celebrity bc everyone knows about the guy that futakuchi kenji pines over bc futakuchi kenji is just known in a million ways and maybe like 90% of them are Not Good

a third-year has futakuchi by the collar and they're like "all right PUNK get ready to have your lights punched out you'll be seeing stars when i'm done with you" and futakuchi just sighs longingly and goes "ennoshita has eyes like stars . . ."

daichi is that type of upperclassman who knows very single friend of his juniors' but not in like a cool older sibling way he does it in a cringefail modern parent kind of way

kogane used to be soooooo scared of him before finding out what a huge dork he is

actually kogane isn't scared of asahi bc he's so used to aone and asahi cries over it

(sorry for plugging in dateko so much i just genuinely think they have such a fun relationship with karasuno i ADORE it)

onagawa: "man idk how you do it" narita: "do what?" onagawa: "being the only normal person on your team"

yeah no narita is carrying the weight of the world as the only person with the brain cell on karasuno

sometimes it's ennoshita but he's been dead inside since first year so

suga tells the first years he knows martial arts but all he really did was go to one (1) judo club demonstration during his second year of middle school and somehow managed to flip the captain over by sheer luck and never tried again

for takeda's birthday everyone teams up to get him a really nice fountain pen, a classical poetry book, and a quality bottle of sake. for ukai's birthday tsukki leads a powerpoint presentation on why smoking is bad for you and that he really should stop, backed up with everyone else standing behind him with their arms crossed and nodding along

okay that and they also get him a really cute apron (embroidered with crows!!) for him to wear around the store and a bag of good coffee

kiyoko has all - and i mean ALL - the snacks from the local convenience store on a tier list and when the vbc asked how the fuck she managed to do that she just went "my track team was a lot weirder than you guys"

actually the reason why daichi asked kiyoko to be the manager wasn't because kiyoko was the only one with no club activities going on it was because she gave asahi a hair tie when nobody else would and asahi had been trying to befriend her since (and also return said hair tie) but was too nervous to make the first move

asahi: "noooooo daaaaaaaiiiichiiiiiiiiii i caaaaaaaan't i'm so awkward and embarrassing!!!!" daichi, with all the confidence of a fifteen-year-old constantly winging it: "it's okay, i've got this!"

yeah he's just as surprised as you are that it worked out

especially considering he pitched it to her like a used car salesman

kiyoko carries a lot of hair ties with her when she starts just for asahi and when he leaves the team she doesn't stop bc she tells suga, daichi, and the second-years, "he'll come back, just wait and see"

THEY WERE FRIENDS TOO!!!! THEY WERE FRIENDS TOO!! THEY WERE FRIE -