#and i'm very hard on myself but i held onto that somehow ;___;

[notsodailycake]

Part 3 for the fitclet I did for @keferon 's mecha pilot jazz au! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

For those who missed it:

Part 1 || Part 2

This is probably the longest out of all the 3 parts, dear god, I went all in. It came out bigger than I ever expected it to be. I was not expecting it to go this far honestly, but the parasites in me, they begged for more. So here we are! :D

Again tho, idk how in character they will be here, but I tried my best ＼(*T▽T*)／. Also, kinda bullshitted my way through in worldbuilding bc idk how things work exactly- and I had to come up with stuff on my own, even tho I'm not that good in mecha world stuff, so I'm sorry for any inaccuracies ^^;;

Now, to give credit to those who so desperately deserve it:

My sister @saltynsassy31 for helping me when I couldn't write out some of my ideas and doing it herself (so consider this as a bit of a frankenstein monster of both our writing styles, mainly during intense scenes. If there is any fancy words in this, it's cuz of her) and being my beta reader for this part. Seriously yall, this wouldn't have been as coherent and well written without her help!

Also huge thanks to my online sister @yayadrawsthingz for helping out when I hit a few road blocks during this!

And finally, a huge huge thanks to my honorary online uncle @hexyz09 for helping me finish off the final fight scene when I got stuck during some plot holes and road blocks, or generally just writing myself into a corner and having to help me leave it, despite not knowing jackshit about the au, let alone the ship and characters themselves, but was still willing to help me through in working on the plot, in this crazy obsession of mine XD

Yall have no idea how much help these guys were. Probably wouldn't be able to finish without either of their help ᕦ(òωóˇ)ᕤ

Oh and an honourable shoutout to the song "Headlock" by Imogen Heap! Kept listening to this on loop as it kept my drive up to write this.

Now onto the fic!

---

Prowl ignored Jazz's various attemps to push out his servo from the cockpit. Despite the mech being weak himself, the human was still no match against thousands of pounds of metal, especially in his own weakened state.

Which was a matter of its own at the moment. Prowl knew he had very little time to be able to run ahead before the other humans caught on to them, having noticed the alarm bells ringing through the facility.

So he ran towards the exit Jazz had initially pointed out, the only plan they had at the moment.

...

"Prowl! Prowler, hey! I know you can hear me! Prowl!" Jazz shouted as he slammed yet another fist in a failed attempt to nudge the bot's servo out of the way. He hasn't said a word since picking Jazz up, and he wasn't sure how long that was, maybe not that much, but it felt too long yet too little at the same time (what a headache).

Sliding down, he gently hit his forehead over the protective servo and let out a sigh of defeat. No way he could get him to move like this.

Why was he trying to anyways? Didn't he want to be with Prowl? He certainly did, but somehow, something in him made him feel like he shouldn't just be accepting this.

And maybe Prowl also knew this, which is why he took off and hasn’t said a word since. Both held conflicted feelings about the whole thing. If only things didn't feel so blurry right now!

Suddenly, a hard shift made Jazz stumble a bit, grasping at whatever he could so he didn't fall back, loud noises of metal scrapping metal could be heard as something got kicked open on the outside. Jazz scrambled over to the small crevice that opened between Prowl's digits, not enough for him to fit anything over other than his hand, but enough to get a glimpse of what was happening outside.

Prowl had kicked down the exit door to the lab ('not like he had the hands available to properly open the damn thing anyways' Jazz thought to himself). It was meant for mechas to exit the room after they finish off whatever it is they do in here, that Jazz knew, and if he was right, just down the hall there will be another exit leading to the backroom where they stockpiled the mech suits. No one but the technicians were usually supposed be there, it would be an easy fight to get to the big gate that lead to the outside training grounds, which is why Jazz had pointed for the mech to go down there in the first place.

There shouldn't have been a problem besides giving him time to leave unscathed. Which Jazz assumed would not be the case as he was currently inside Prowl and not buying him time to escape. But, to Jazz's surprise, nothing had come close to attacking them, yet.

The pilot did not have much time to contemplate it as suddenly he heard Prowl rumble an annoyed grunt.

"Don't move."

In shock, Jazz stumbled back as Prowl removed his hand and reached for the end of the overhead gate, seemingly alot harder to kick down than a two way door. The only thing it would really do would be to bend the metal a bit but it wouldn't give an open entrance. Jazz didn't dare leave, not like he could from this hight, but even if he could, Prowl would probably just pick him up again; it be a waste of energy really (just admit it, you don't want to leave him). But something about this felt wrong, so far they haven't had a single guard come down the hall, just this small pause would give them enough time to catch up to the two runaways, Jazz was sure that guards had been on his tail when he was under his rampage.

Unless...

Wait.

"Prowl! Wait don't open that gate!" But he was too late, the moment he uttered those words the mech had already been in motion and pushed the gate up with all his might and as quickly as he opened it a gun shot came through the otherside. They had been waiting for them, they knew where they were heading. The bastard he kicked down prior to this probably saw them and reported it, dammit.

Prowl let out a strangled cry of pain as the shot landed right on his left shoulder (like it wasn't damaged enough by the lack of arm), Jazz fell backwards with the harsh motions, hitting the back of the pilot's seat, the impact leaving his vision to go dark for a few seconds before he collected himself as quickly as he could. In an instant though, just as he tried to get back up to see what was outside, Prowl had put his hand back over the open cockpit.

No...he wouldn't be able to fight like this, protecting him as he is would only hinder the bot to more damage. And that's exactly what Jazz intended to express to the other. "Prowl! You won't be able to fight with your hand over me! Forget about holding me inside, I won't leave, I promise!"

"That's not the point!" Prowl growled, letting out another hiss of pain as more shots were loaded, someone shouting out for them to stand down.

Prowl couldn't risk leaving Jazz exposed. Unlike the human, Prowl could take a few shots, their weapons not being strong enough to inflict any serious damage to his plating (though perhaps a bit to his exposed protoform, though he could handle it for a little while longer). But it would take one lucky shot on Jazz to have him dead in an instant, and Prowl couldn't take that chance.

It seemed like Jazz got the message, not spitting back any sort of remark about Prowl's lack of explanation.

But the mech couldn't linger too much on those thoughts, he had to get out, and fast. He was losing too much energon, and his vision was starting to get blurry, which wasn't a good sign. It didn't help that his thoughts were a hazy mess, his usual ability to think logically overthrown by the panic of needing to get out of this place while ensuring Jazz's survival.

It's not like he had much to do, though. Any possible escape hindered by the fact he couldn't use his weapons unless he risks Jazz's life to one lucky shot. Perhaps he could make a run for it, knock through the mechas in front of him and let them tumble over as he reached the final exit; it wasn’t the best plan perhaps, with at least a 19% rate of success, given he isn't in the best physical state at the moment, he probably wouldn't be strong enough to knock them over. Added to the fact the exit wasn't shut by a gate he could simply knock over easily either, like the previous one. He'd have to push it open from the bottom, and there wasn’t enough time for him to act on it.

But he'd have his back turned to the shots, reassuring Jazz's own safety, so he could perhaps risk removing his servo to push the gate open once more.

With a quick warning from his HUD telling him his energon levels were getting dangerously low, Prowl decided to take the risk, with little time left, he took a step forward making a run for it.

The mechas seemed to ready themselves for his attack, quickly positioning their weapons to target him, closing any narrow space they had between each other.

What they didn't expect was for the mech to charge his whole body weight onto them. Despite not feeling any pain, they certainly could not fight against gravity itself. They all stumbled against each other as Prowl made a mad dash to the gate. He slid on his knees and made a quick reach for the bottom of the gate, anxiously removing his hand from over the cockpit, bending over protectively as to not have anything be able to aim inside.

He could feel his spark beating fast from anxiety, they were so close, they'll be able to leave soon enough. Jazz was most certainly having a good feel to Prowl's anxious beat, the loud thruming reaching the bot's own audials was most certainly deafening to the human sitting near it.

Then, a shot.

A pop.

A blinding light.

And the beat stops.

Jazz was curling in on himself as an instinct to protect himself from the sudden burst behind him. It only took a few seconds for him to realise what that was once he couldn't hear a single beat of a spark, or the burning sensation it left, feeling his own heart stop and drop to his gut.

It felt like the world around him suddenly stopped, everything going into slow motion, with no sounds to accompany the dread. Feeling as Prowl's body leaned foward to crash on the ground.

But just as quickly as the silance came, it left. Prowl catching himself from hitting the ground with a grunt, a slam could be heard as his arm and elbow made contact with the concrete floor. His spark beating, weakly, but beating nonetheless. What felt like hours of silance was only a quick few seconds of deafening dread.

"Prowl!" Jazz called out in desperation, reaching out to hold the edges of the cockpit, so not to fall out, but to also try and comfort his anxiousness as he tried to look up at the mech's face. The mech made a sound of acknowledgement, which came out more like broken static, but didn't make much effort to move, his face scrunched up in pain, optics shut. They shot him on his back, too close to where his spark would be, causing him to skip a beat, and busting a bit of his left doorwing, but it still seemed to function somewhat.

Suddenly, both of them picked up on the sound of something opening, giving no time for either to fully process what had just occurred. Prowl made a quick move to get his hand over the cockpit once more (with slight struggle as he stumbled and fell on his aft) as a thick metal slab emerged from above and beneath, right in front of the gate, shutting it close with a protective layer of metal. Guessing by the red alarm ringing around them, an emergency protocol to keep anyone from leaving. Slag.

The mechas surrounded them, guns all aimed to shoot at the alien mech if he didn't comply.

It was silent for a brief moment, in exception to Prowl's anxious beating spark (which wasn't a problem for Jazz at the moment, the burning warmth being somewhat comforting) and Jazz's own heart beating over his ears. Both catching their breaths.

"There's no point in fighting. So make this easy for all of us and surrender yourselves." A nobody pilot finally spoke out, weapon leaning a tad closer than the others.

The atmosphere felt heavy, they were pinned down. Really, the only thing they could do was surrender, but Jazz would sure as hell be reprimanded for his actions and Prowl.....he didn’t want to think about that. No, he wouldn't even allow that thought to become any sort of reality.

"Prowl" he whispered, knowing only the mech would hear him, leaning a gentle souch to his servo as if to beg, "I know you might not have alot of trust 'n me, but this might be our best shot." There was a tense shift, not too noticeble unless you could see the mechanisms from the inside, Prowl knew what he was about to suggest. "You need to let me pilot you." He cringed as he felt the other's servo stiffen, he wasn't pleased with the idea, and neither was Jazz, but he knew this place alot better than Prowl did, and knew how to properly defeat the mechas, knowing their weak spots. And Prowl was all too aware of that too, Jazz knew it. They both were very aware of it all.

"Please," he begged, leaning his forehead on the mech's servo yet again, "I can't lose you again." There was slight shift, Jazz looked up, though he obviously couldn't see the mech's face, the sigh he let out was loud and clear. The controls on the pilot's seat shifted, Jazz got the message:

'Alright'

He couldn't help but let a small smirk creep over his face, making way to sit down and start piloting.

"Under one condition though," Prowl suddenly whispered to him, though it was alot louder to Jazz on the inside.

"And what would that be, partner?" The title flew out too fast for Jazz to stop himself, feeling so natural to call Prowl partner once more. The mech didn't seem against it though.

"No removing my hand."

Jazz was left stunned for a quick second, though it felt like a minute for Prowl as he waited for a reply eagerly.

"I can work with that." Prowl let out a sigh of relief at that, allowing the human, his partner, to take control of him again.

It took a moment for Jazz to adjust himself, in the meantime, the people waited outside anxiously for the other to make a move. When Prowl finally started to shift around to stand up with a small grunt, everyone raised their guns and loaded them up, but didn't shoot just yet. The mech looked up at them with a deadly glare, but made no move to attack, his remaining arm not leaving the open cockpit for a second, he simply stood up with a slight slump to his posture, doorwings drooping down slightly. In all possible ways, he looked weak and defeated, no signs of fighting back.

One of the mechas walked closer, gun still aiming at Prowl, but it was lowered slightly. They reached a hand out expectantly.

"The pilot, hand him over." They demanded, no sympathy whatsoever.

Prowl clutched his chasis, anger pooling over in his spark, doorwings twitching up slightly, but he made no move to attack. Not yet. He heard Jazz speak to him in a low tone so only he could hear it, with a sigh, he relaxed. He slowly, very slowly, drew out his hand from the cockpit, the action in itself having the other mecha have their body relax slightly as they approached the mech, weapon being put down slightly enough, and so did the others around them. Jackpot.

Before he fully removed his servo, the mech made move to crouch down and in a swift motion swung a peed over to the mechas own, catching them off balance and knocking them down. Jazz let out a small hiss to the action, forgetting his own injured leg, but pushed on regardless.

Using the thrusters of his doorwings, they were able to balance themselves back up, Prowl's servo going back into fully protecting it's pilot once more. With most weapons being aimed up and not down, it took a delayed second to aim correctly, but it was enough time for the human and cybertronian duo to twist themselves out of harms way.

Before the fallen pilot could attempt to get up, Jazz made move to aim over the weak spot of their mecha's knee and stepped hard enough to break its mechanisms so they couldn't stand back up easily. But the glory was short lived as more shots were fired their way.

Jazz's hand twitched to move and use its weapons, but he resisted the urge with a slight huff, "Man, 's hard to fight without an arm!"

"This is none negotiable, Jazz." Prowl hissed as they made move to avoid more shots.

"I know, I know! Don't mean it makes it easier!" Jazz tried to analyse their surroundings, though it was made difficult with the many HUD warnings from all the injuries (the pilot couldn't help but mutter a broken "I'm so sorry" to his partner, whether the mech heard him or not he wasn't sure), but pushing through it, he took note of a few key details. There was a metal catwalk grate near above the mechas' heads, running with a few on ground troops, the bastard of a boss being one of the few amongst them. Near a corner stood an elevator to go up and down the area.

How that could help, Jazz wasn't sure yet.

A shot hit Prowl's arm, pain flowed through the mech as he moved out of the way once more. Jazz looked around in a frenzy to find a place to shield themselves....the mechas! Making a run for to the lifeless husks, he swivelled around between them and hid behind the many rows of mechas knowing full well that they would not risk such precious resource and money just to reach them. At least he hoped not, because he just needed a little bit of time to figure something out.

Hearing the big man call out to hold their fire was good enough indication that his idea worked.

"Ok, now we just need somethin' to distract them long enough for us to make a jump to the ceiling." Jazz explained

"The ceiling?" Prowl inquired, not so certain about his partner's ability to properly think at the moment.

Jazz rolled his eyes, but didn't make mention of the mech's tone. "It's the weakest point here, plus" he made way for Prowl to look up to where he remembered the area to be at, "there's a trap door for flying mechas and emergencies. One quick press of a button will open it up, even under "safety protocols."" Prowl let out a hum in thought, seeming to analyse the situation.

"Possible, but where is this said button?"

"Behind the elevator, by the catwalk grating on top. There's a control panel, and one big red button, can't miss it."

"Would smashing it still get it to work?"

"Yes."

"Then I don't have any complaints."

"Good, now," Jazz went back to scanning the area, "how to cause a distraction?"

"Would that broken pipe be of any use?" Prowl made an effort to twitch his head over to the direction of what he wanted Jazz to see. And just as the mech stated, there, by the first floor of the elevator, stood a broken pipe, steam coming out of it.

Jazz smirked "it would actually. If we can get somethin' to shoot at it, we might cause an explosion, giving us time to jump up without being the target anymore."

"Sounds like a plan." Prowl shrugged.

"Don't have anything to add?" Jazz asked a bit surprised.

"No, I don't." The pilot didn't push.

"Okay. Well, let's get these bastards shootin." In quick motion, they made way to the elevator, already hearing the commands to shoot fire, 'but watch for the machines!' Weapons were loaded from above as well, shooting down at the two runaways once again.

Jazz made sure to move swiftly behind the mechas, making sure they were shielded properly. Any gaps they had to cross was a small risk they needed to take, scrapes and scratches being left in its wake, but tried not to do it too often, just enough that they could follow them. They eventually reached where the pipes were, Jazz took a deep breath.

"Ready, big guy?"

"Ready."

They stepped foward, making sure to call the attention towards where they were, but quickly retrieting back behind the mechas suits as they shot directly where they wanted to hit. "Bingo."

Quickly, activating Prowl's thrusters, they leaped over to the metal grates that stood above them as the pipes behind them burst, causing a huge commotion as empty mechas fell down and whatever machine near the crossfire tumbled down. Prowl let out a gasp as he felt the world around him spin, the grating beneath them not being of any help as it shook with his weight. Jazz was quick to hold on, helping the mech stablise himself before aiming with his left foot to kick the big red button with their ticket out of here, the motion causing his vision to flash in pain, but he bit his toung until he could taste iron and pushed forward.

Hearing the metal door above them open up, Jazz readied himself, but hesitated with the warning he'd received from Prowl's HUD from his low energon levels. He didn’t even get the chance to fully check on it though, Prowl quickly pushing them out of the way himself.

"I'll live, just one more push." The mech hastily reassured the human. Jazz wasn't inclined to belive it though, feeling the other's spark beat anxiously (and for some reason that made him feel slightly dizzy. Though he chalked it up to it being his possible concussion).

It took one shot to slip an inch away from Prowl's face for them to finally snap out of it and jump. One more push from his thrusters as they flew up through the trap door and landed on top of the roof with a grunt, the mech's left wing finally giving out.

But they weren’t in the clear yet. Looking out, a wasteland of a forest awaited them, with dense trees at the bottom.

"We'll have to make a jump for it. If we're lucky enough the trees will be big enough to hide us." Jazz supplied.

"45% of that happening. But we don't have much of another option at the moment." Prowl added

With all that being said, Jazz moved into action. With so much at stake, he had to, he couldn't waste another second in debating. Hefting Prowl up, he used all remaining strength to jump where they needed to go, but as the training grounds began to get closer than anticipated, Prowl knew they didn’t make the jump and that made the mech almost freeze.

Though Jazz had other plans, because as their impending flat doom approached in rapid speed, Prowl's remaining thruster burst to life and gave that final impusle they needed to reach the slope. They both braced themselves as they were thrown up and over to their intended destination, Prowl having half a mind to tighten his hold over his chest so none of the debris and impact could reach the fragile human still in his care.

They rolled down the slope, Prowl just barely being able to shift himself so that he was sliding on his back instead. The aggresive motion of going down a not so smooth path causing bigger cuts and slashes against his already damaged frame. But the only thing he could think of at the moment was that they made it.

Jazz was quick to let go of his control over Prowl, who in turn made an effort to sit properly. Though the sudden slamming to his servo made him look down worriedly, moving it slightly to see Jazz leaning on it desperately.

"Prowl-" he heaved, "Prowl put me down I'm feeling sick."

The mech panicked and quickly made move to help the human down, gently placing him on the grass below. Jazz made no effort in being graceful as he hurled over and puked his guts out, luckily avoiding Prowl in all of this.

Clutching his stomach in pain, his heaving and coughs agitating the injuries on his abdomen. Everything around him felt blurry and muffled as his body made sure to get everything he had eaten in the past day out of him.

What made him panic was the sudden taste of iron in his mouth as he coughed up whatever he had left inside. That's not good. And that definitely didn't escape the giant mech's notice, who kept a hovering servo near him.

"Jazz! Is that blood?!" His voice sounded so broken, static lacing over his words.

"Uh- Yeah. Yeah it is." He wasn't sure how to deny that really, and he felt too light-headed to try. But his attention diverted to the sudden pink glow that landed at the side of his vision.

Energon.

Quickly looking up, he finally got a glance at his partner's battered condition. Energon leaked from many different parts of his body, but the main source being from his missing arm. Jazz couldn't help but cringe at that.

But what hurt him the most to see was the weak light from the mech's optics, which still held visible concern on them. Despite being close to going into offline, he still looked at Jazz as if he's about the crumble into dust and leave him. Which he honestly, maybe, felt like. But seeing Prowl's optics flicker as they fought to stay online, Jazz panicked

"What 'bout you?!" He called back, catching the bot off guard. "You're losing too much energon! You look like you're about to go offline!"

Prowl cringed a little, not having anything to counter that. "Well that's because I-"

"No! I'm only a little bit dizzy, but I'll live. We need to patch you up right now!"

"I can help with that."

The new voice catches the duo off guard, Prowl immediately reaching out to Jazz, hand shielding the human from whoever that might be. Jazz looked down from where he was looking at Prowl and turned to see who it was that the voice came from.

There standing in front of them was a human carrying a simple tool box and a huge backpack strapped over one shoulder, filled with questionable things.

---

BEFORE YOU LEAVE, a little something I would like to point out for the fic, that some of yall with either like or not, during the process of writing this, I've seen a few posts keferon made about the spark being radioactive and such, and it sorta made me think a bit while developing Jazz's condition. So well, take Jazz's health in this as you will with this info :)

But anyways, yippie!! That's all for today folks! I hope yall enjoyed this one bc I definitely had a heck of a time writing this one XD

It got alot bigger than I anticipated and took much longer to finish than I originally planned (was supposed to be done 2 days ago).

Now, I know I keep saying "not sure if I'll make another part to this" but then proceed to do so anyways. But I mainly do so because everytime I shared it someone said something that added to the story somehow and gave me ideas to continue foward.

So like, if yall liked this and wanna see more, don't be shy to suggest/add anything to this as it may help inspire me to add more onto this, cuz honestly idk what the fuck I'm doing rn, I'm just going with the flow ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Also, a bit of note for the doodle, holy shit I did not expect it to look this good!! Tho I suffered with Jazz's suit, plz ignore any inaccuracies tee-hee. Prowl's knee and hands were hell too, especially his knee, but i could like, hide most of it lmao. Actually mainly struggled to not have his hand cover Jazz too much bc it kept covering the parts I actually wanted to show off lmao.

Oh and the guy at the end? Yall can take a good guess as to who it is :)

But since he doesn't have any official design, I kinda went with whatever felt right lol.

I also really wanted to draw out more scenes to add to the fic, but then it would take me a lot more time to actually post the fic as I figure out how to draw robots :'). But maybe I can try and doodle them out another time if I can, no promises tho-

[ectoentity]

Ectoplasm Gives You Wings 0.?

Hey here's a scene that happened long before Danny showed up have fun

Here is the subscription post

Need to know concept:

When you're in a world where wings are associated with ghosts, you're gonna assume that coming back from the dead with wings means you have some unfinished business. Harley Quinn POV.

Ever since Joker died, Harley expected his killer would come after her. She hadn't been with him for a couple years, but that hardly made up for the shit she'd done while they were together. Really the only surprise was that they hadn’t killed her first as a warning to him.

So when she walked into her apartment kitchen to see a guy with huge wings wearing a red helmet, Harley wasn’t terribly surprised. Not about the break-in or the gun pointed at her, at least.

"How'd'ya manage to fit those things in here?" she asked. The guy didn't answer. The wings flexed like he wanted to open them, but there wasn't any room.

"Harley," the Red Hood said, sounding very intimidating with some kind of voice modulation. "You know why I’m here."

"I can make a guess, big guy," Harley said sadly. "Nothing I can do to change your mind?"

"You let it happen. You helped him. Why should you escape justice?"

"I did my time for most of it. And I spent the last couple a years trying to put him in the ground. That doesn't fit into your equation somehow?" She tried edging slowly to a shelf where she had a gun of her own. Red Hood noticed. He stepped forward and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt.

"Did any of that bring back the innocent people you killed? The children you tortured?"

"Woah, woah, woah, time out. I never did anything like that to kids." Harley held her hands up in a T shape above Red Hood's fist. "I did some awful stuff I ain't proud of, but I never tortured kids."

"You didn't seem to care that he did."

Harley sighed and lowered her hands onto Red Hood's arm and tried to look into the eyes of his weird helmet. "What do you expect to happen here? You want me to beg until you feel satisfied? Sorry, buddy. Not really my style! I don't like a lotta what I did back then, but I can't fix it. I'm trying better now. If that's not good enough for ya, that's too bad."

The Red Hood didn't move for a moment. It was kind of creepy, if Harley was honest. He didn't say anything, he didn't twitch. Was the guy even breathing? It was always hard to talk to someone in a full face mask. There was no way to tell whether they were even listening. Contrary to popular belief, Harley didn't talk just to hear her own voice! Not often, at least.

The hand let go of her shirt. Harley pulled back to regain her balance, but she didn't relax just yet. There was still a big murderous birdman with a gun in her apartment. Even if he wasn't about to shoot her just now, he was still dangerous.

"Fucking hell," the guy said. He seemed to stagger backwards until one of his wings clipped the half-wall separating the kitchen from the living room. Then he leaned against the pillar heavily.

"Shit. You're right. This is pointless. Why am I here?"

Harley took her chance to grab her gun just in case, but Red Hood didn't seem to notice. She stared at him with suspicious, narrowed eyes. "Do you mean here in my apartment, or are you really having an existential crisis right now?"

"I'm not having a- Fuck. I guess I am." He held his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, Harls."

Well, that was an unusual nickname. It wasn't something she heard much outside of kids from the Bowery or Narrows. Most other kids in Gotham got swept up by their parents before they could talk to her.

"You lose somebody?" she asked softly, gun tucked in her pocket. "Sibling? A kid?"

Red Hood choked out a bitter laugh. "Myself." When Harley's eyebrows did a wild semaphore of emotion, the asshole deigned to explain. "He killed me. I... I came back. Figured, y'know, I must've been brought back for a reason, right?" He sunk down further against the pillar, the white tips of his mostly-black wings spreading across the floor like the fabric of a cape.

Damn, Harley thought. That made a fucked up amount of sense. "I can't really blame you for thinking that," she admitted. "The feathers a new fashion choice then?"

"You could say that. Shit." Red Hood reached up to the bottom of his helmet and depressed some trigger there. Harley heard a hiss of pressurization before it popped off the guy's head. The first thing she saw was black hair. That wasn't surprising. The surprising thing was when he leaned his head back against the pillar, revealing a young face and a shock of white hair in his bangs. Then he opened his eyes, and they were as blue as the sky.

"Hey kid? What did you say your name was?"

He took a devastatingly long time to respond.

"They called me Robin, once."

[joelsgoldrush]

wip wednesday: "lovers once a year" (dbf!joel miller)

hello to you, tiny people on my phone. reaching the end of this semester has thrown me onto a motherfucking rollercoaster. if i even think about the amount of finals i have to sit for, i'm afraid i'll tear up. so here i am, drifting away from real-life responsibilities </3 still working on this dbf!joel fic cause i haven't had much time to write lately, but i'm trying not to be too hard on myself. i really like how it's coming along. i'm close to finishing, though i'm not going to promise a specific posting date because i never seem to manage it LMAO

anyway, thank you to @elflutter @joelsdagger and @ovaryacted for tagging me!!!

No one could’ve ever said Joel was a great best friend. For one, he was terrible at remembering important dates. His mind just didn’t catch hold of details like that—never had, really. He wasn’t the affectionate type, either. At best, he’d manage a pat on the back or a firm handshake, maybe even a call on Christmas if he remembered. Emotional displays weren’t in his nature, far too used to keeping things at arm’s length. Luckily for him, Stephen never seemed to care much about these things. They’d been friends for over forty years—which is, well, a hell of a long time, especially considering each had gone off to carve out his own life. They’d trudged through both primary and secondary school side by side, and Joel felt Stephen’s absence like a hollow ache the day his friend left for university in another state. Technology eventually offered them more ways to connect, but it didn’t make keeping up any simpler. The years had tested them, and somehow, they’d held on to the quiet strength of their friendship—a bond they’d forged across decades and distance, held steady like the roots of an old tree. Stephen was the laid-back type, always down for anything as long as a cold beer was part of the deal. It was rare for him to lose his temper, having a way of letting nuisances slide. Joel could bend every rule, yet Stephen’s patience never wavered. He was unflappable, hardly bothered by Joel’s mood swings, which was what made them a match made in heaven. Nothing seemed to throw him off. Though Joel doubts Stephen would stay so calm if he knew what he’d done to his daughter. As mentioned, Joel’s not exactly what you’d call a good friend—particularly considering he’s slept with his best friend’s daughter. Just once, to be fair. One ephemeral, impulsive encounter. Right here, in this very house, exactly three hundred and sixty-five days ago.

AND

Apart from the glint in your eyes, he catches the persistent, quiet ache of want. He isn’t sure if it’s just physical attraction, if it runs deeper, or if that’s all it is for him, either. He doesn’t need to know. The simplicity of it all is a short-lived relief. It’s an easy escape, though, this bare minimum of understanding—you want him, he wants you. Let it be enough for one more moment, for tonight, just another memory he’ll have to lock away. Yet he’s aware, deep down, of his own pattern: promises broken just as easily as they’re made. He’s only fooling himself. The part of him that knows this isn’t something he’ll let go of so easily sits there, silently taunting him, daring him to make another promise he won’t keep.

tagging: @lubdubology @zloshy @princessanglophile @cavillscurls @guiltyasdave @tightjeansjavi @mrsmando - so sorry if you've already been tagged :( - and anybody else who feels like doing it!

[thebelugawhalefriend]

Connection: Kris x Reader

CW: Y/N insert, Gender Neutral reader, Slow burn (?)

Part Two

Please Note: This will be a spin off starting from Chapter 2's ending! While new tidbits from future chapters will affect new aspects, this will be a fanfiction based on my own thoughts and story direction. Please take this as an "alternate universe/ending" piece rather than pure canon material. Thank you!

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Connection [TERMINATED]

All I can feel are my muffled breaths as I struggle between couch cushions.

"Kris... Stop struggling! I'm trying to sleep!" A black boot shoves my face further into the coarse fabric prison I'm in. "Wait a minute- That's not Kris' kickable face!"

Just as suddenly as I had woken up in peril, a tight grip on my head pulled me from the cushions. Yellow eyes peer through me in suspicion.

"Just who the HELL are you?!"

"Wait- I can-!"

"Why am I waking up in the Dark world, huh?!"

"Just listen!"

"AND WHERE THE HELL IS KRIS?!"

...

"...Susie?"

A soft yet familiar voice interrupts the barrage of demanding questions before I can even process what's going on. The pause gives me just a moment to look around to what just might be happening. My head? Currently being held by Susie, an armor clad purple monster whose bite would most likely end me. My surroundings? None like I've seen in the game before. Card castle isn't anywhere near that I can see... And yet the friendly green dressed goat, Ralsei, is here to greet us.

"Just who is that you're holding...?" Ralsei tilts his head.

"I don't know WHO they are, but they better explain why we're here..."

"Maybe instead of gripping them like that, you could let them down? Maybe they'll tell us on their own!"

It takes Susie a long moment to get used to this idea. A few glances shared between Ralsei and myself too. But, it isn't long until she releases her claws and lets me back down onto the couch. "Fine, but they have FIVE seconds to explain themselves..."

I stand right up from the couch and dust myself off, shivering and shaking from the encounter. Unlike the others, I'm still in the plain clothing I typically wear. It WOULD feel unfair if it weren't for the fact that... Well, where am I? More importantly- HOW am I? How could this happen?

"I'm (Y/N), but... You've known me as Kris for the past few days-"

"YOU'RE KRIS?!" Susie sounds exasperated, but a nudge from Ralsei quiets her down.

"Kind of? It's hard to explain but I've kind of... Been like a guide for Kris. Telling them what to do to stay on the right path. Their Soul, if you will. I know you two very well... But, Kris... They pulled me right out of their own chest and stuffed me into the couch cushions! I don't know how, I don't even know why, but all I know is that I'm somehow here...?"

"...And you expect us to believe that?" Susie raises an eyebrow.

"I know it sounds ridiculous! I don't even believe that I'm here! Shit, I'm still dressed in what I wore yesterday and I'm not even FROM your worlds!"

While Susie was giving me the most menacing glare, Ralsei was scratching his chin in thought. "It does make some sense... I don't see anything that would make you a lightener, but you can't be a darkener either. Though, can you remember how you got here?"

"No... All I know is that after finishing this chapter, I-"

"Chapter? CHAPTER?!" Susie interrupts again, yet Ralsei doesn't stop her this time

"Look, I don't think I have time to explain all of this! We have to find Kris- If they pulled me into this mess, they're going to get me right back out of it!"

While the tall purple monster was hesitant to agree, she crossed her arms and nodded, "We will have to find them, regardless of you. I doubt you're telling the truth..."

Ralsei stops her thoughts, "But! (Y/N) very much could be! And if they are Kris' SOUL, we need to find them and fast. Who knows what could happen to Kris if them and (Y/N) are separate too long...

[artistic-argonian]

TL,DR: Being autistic and overwhelmed by touch sometimes and wanting it other times is weird. Throw sensual attraction in the mix and it becomes even weirder and I'm still processing it all.

Long explanation below the cut.

Realising more and more every day how strange and contradictory it is to be an autistic person who doesn't like being touched by strangers or just randomly without warning or permission (even by family), but also really enjoys and somewhat craves close physical contact with people.

To an extent it makes sense, like I wouldn't want a complete stranger or someone I don't know very well to just hug me, but even with people I'm close with I internally freak out if I'm approached from behind, for example. I sit with my back to the wall most of the time in restaurants after an incident with family members and friends constantly touching my hair as they walked past years ago that made me very uncomfortable. Touch can be overstimulating for me in situations where I'm suffering from sensory issues. But other times it's really soothing for some reason, like when I'm upset or feeling low, I love the warmth and sensation of being held tightly. Or on the rare occasion someone's either put cream onto or just scratched my back for me (I have to have medicated lotion put on my back where I can't easily reach by myself) I love it and don't want it to stop.

Somehow I'm simultaneously the "don't touch me or I'll freak out" and "please crush my soul into my body" kind of autism depending on my mood and the situation, as well as the person/people. I don't really get physically close with people outside of my family, mainly because I don't feel I'm emotionally close enough to/it'd just be plain awkward with anyone I know IRL, or the people I am close enough with to feel comfortable are all online and live very far away from me.

Realising I have this desire is so weird because I used to think I was just "no touchie" with everybody, but it turns out there are people I like being close like that with. There are people I want to hug hard when I get the chance to meet them and I want to be held by (especially with realising I can experience what I believe to be sensual attraction, which makes that desire even stronger with certain people). And that opens a whole new issue of potential awkwardness; not wanting to seem like some kind of weirdo or creep because while saying "Hey if we ever meet IRL I'm gonna hug you" is fairly normal and something I've said to most of my online friends, I worry it'd be weird for me to be like, "Hey if we ever meet IRL, I not only want to hug you, but I want to cuddle and embrace you. I want to hold you close and feel your warmth around me and be physically affectionate in a casual, platonic, yet intimate way. But only with explicit permission/consent because I know a lot of people probably view that sort of thing as strictly romantic or even sexual and I really don't want to make things weird between us."

Like I'm still struggling with the thought/feeling of wanting that, not knowing if it'll ever happen (because distance), and being afraid of it being too weird for the other person if the chance ever did arise so just not doing it or bringing it up anyway. I feel like this post already makes me look a bit unhinged in that regard so I'll leave it there. A long, kinda aimless rant, but there you go.

[luminecho]

An acquaintance once stopped me on my way to class.

"Are you happy?" he asked me.

"What, just like, in general?" I said, confused.

"Yeah, just in general."

And it's not exactly the sort of existential question you're expecting to have dropped on you at 11 am on a Wednesday. And it was actually my birthday that day, but he didn't know that and it didn't feel super relevant so I didn't mention it. But the question itself made me stop and think after.

Because it's this question that gets asked of us so often in life. Are you happy with where you are now? Do you think you'll be happy in the future? You were so happy when you were a kid. What changed?

And I think when you start to get into adolescence and adulthood, it becomes expected of you to not be happy. Because that's the sort of society we live in today. It's so damn hard to be happy. And it shouldn't be. But it is. Happiness is like this fleeting thing way off on the horizon that people constantly grasp for, and we all do things in desperation to finally reach it, and maybe it works for some and maybe it doesn't for others.

I don't know if the typical college student is happy or not. But I do know that I don't really consider myself the typical anything, and one thing I pride myself a lot in is that I have a very strong understanding of exactly who I am and where I am in life. I'm at a school that I like taking classes that I enjoy. I have a bunch of friends who I love, and maybe they're all online and far away from me but that's okay. I have a bunch of hobbies that I love doing and a bunch of interests that I share with others and each day they bring me a little bit of enjoyment.

So, in that moment, I didn't even really need to think before replying.

"I am," I said with a smile.

And my acquaintance turned to the friend beside him.

"See?" he said, "I told you!"

I chuckled to myself and walked away.

But I couldn't stop thinking about it. Because like... what were they talking about? The scenario I found myself crafting in my head was one where this friend of his was saying that most people these days aren't happy. And maybe they're right. But that doesn't mean no one is happy. And that doesn't mean you can't find happiness. It's out there. It's out there in the little things. In the smiles of strangers and in the soundless laughter of text conversations, in music and poetry and art and the hot lights of a stage. It's in butterflies landing on flowers just beside you, and taking the time to stop and admire it for several minutes even though you know you're missing your bus because somehow the butterfly is just so much more important.

And I think my favorite part is that not only did I get to prove to a stranger that day that happiness exists, but I also got to prove it to myself, both in the past and in the future.

Because what if I had been asked that question a few years ago? In the middle of a pandemic, stuck at home attending high school in front of a computer, feeling like I'm drowning because I don't have the motivation to do my work and the one hobby I've held onto so dearly, drawing, feels like it's slipping through my grasp and I just can't enjoy it anymore and it's this real grief that's weighing me down. Telling my therapist that I wasn't sure who I was yet because I felt like this walking contradiction who longed for things I was too afraid to act on. Would I have said I was happy, then? I don't know.

And what about in the future? When any number of possibilities could happen. Will I say that I'm happy, or will I be stuck in a rut and not know the answer?

I didn't have a good birthday. Some days I'm stressed more than others. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, sometimes I feel like the world is caving in on me.

But the question wasn't, "Are you happy right now?" It wasn't a "How are you doing today?" or a "How's your morning?"

The question was, "Are you happy?"

"In general?"

"Yeah. In general."

And even if today is hard, tomorrow may be better. And if tomorrow is hard too, then you have countless weeks ahead of you that will look different and brighter than they did before.

I'm happy. I'm not happy every second of every day, because no one is. But that's not what "general" happiness looks like. General happiness is just... being satisfied with where you are now. Being comfortable in the new and unfamiliar experiences you're sitting in. And being comfortable with knowing it's all going to change soon.

Happiness is real. And if you don't have it now, then it's still out there, waiting with open hands.

And I just think that's neat.

[lizard-shifter-noms]

Still Subject to Change Chapter 22 (NEW)

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Hello everyone! i decided to repost arc 1 of SSTC

(the chapters were way too long and had a bunch of typos but hopefully this will make reading easier)

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

if there are still any grammatical errors i’m sorry.

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He really was feeling guilty about stabbing me, That was strangely relieving to know.

But I couldn’t blame him, he thought he was going to die.

“Im fine, just saw a dead mutilated body and my pouch hurts from my body attempting to get rid of its own guts”

I tried bringing some humor into the conversation but I felt like that failed.

From the look Rikaad gave me that definitely failed, I probably wouldn’t attempt humor again anytime soon.

At least that made two of us who had a skewed sense of humor.

“Maybe we can find something you can use as a painkiller back at the castle? Or we should probably ask Oakley, he knows more about Ardua than we do so he might be able to help”

I nodded at him, something to make the horribly itchy ache go away would be great, and Oakley, well he was the one that read about Ardua so he’d probably know what to use to make the itching stop.

I’d ask him later as for now it wasn’t that bad, just annoying.

Also maybe I should offer help in transporting Nea back to the castle, while she wasn’t okay with being carried she might not mind if I offered to let her sit on my shoulders.

Or maybe she would also hit me with her helmet if I suggested that, fifty fifty chance, but I’d still rather not be hit with a solid metal object.

I wouldn’t know until I asked though, so I went over to the angry woman that currently tried to use a really long stone brick as a crutch.

Even I could tell that that wouldn’t work, but she looked really determined.

“Nea? I don’t think you can walk on that foot, maybe i could help?”

“I don’t need help, i need an usable crutch, i'm not going ta be carried like some stupid helpless maiden!”

Well technically it wasn’t carrying, more like a piggyback ride but i would not say that out loud.

“That is not what i meant, i don’t have thumbs right now anyway, I wanted to offer that you could just sit on my back?”

She looked a bit confused at that but then seemed to remember that Robin had already done that, Arthur too.

“Fine! If ya wanna play horse i’m all for it, maybe those idiots will stop fussin when i don’t walk myself”

She grumbled and using the stone as an anchor slowly stood up.

I could see some of the guards slump over a bit, clearly in relief and I went over to Nea who had managed to climb a broken wall with one leg.

I bent down so she had an easier time climbing on and she just jumped using her good leg up onto my back.

While I stood back up she made herself comfortable by sitting like a man on horseback.

Right, she said she used to be a farmhand so surely she had sat on a horse before, she even grabbed some of my scruff like it was reigns.

I started to feel like this was a bad idea, I didn’t know her very well and she was in the prime position to stab my spine at the base of my neck.

But somehow I doubted she would do that, tugging at my fur however…

“Let us all go then! I can’t wait tha get home and toss tha stupid snow gear in tha closet!”

She softly yanked at one of the handfuls of fur she held like she wanted to steer a horse.

This was gonna be really stupid, at least for me.

But on the bright side the tugging actually distracted me from my aching pouch so I let her.

If she did yank too hard I would just tell her.

The thing that worried me was that her injured foot still felt cold even against my thick fur, and with the way it looked I really hoped she wouldn’t have to amputate it.

I didn’t want to paint the devil on the wall with such thoughts but it was a valid concern, none of these people knew what to do when dealing with magic as today had shown.

The only one with any knowledge on such things was Oakley and I hoped he’d be willing to help.

Since all of the Guards were now ready to move we could finally go.

Now that all the snow was gone I had thought we would have an easier time traversing the ground but as it turned out everything was mud now.

It clung to my legs and I accidentally dipped my tail into a puddle, making a lot of wet dirt cling to the fluff at the tip.

Somehow this was even worse than the snow but at least I wasn’t the only one that would have to scrub all of this muck off.

Rounding the corner of another broken wall I had to stop dead in my tracks as a human shape with red hair barreled into my leg.

“You fixed it! It’s not cold anymore! What even was it?”

Now i was more glad than ever that i had told him to hide, I didn’t think he would have had an easy time handling that.

Now I had to come up with what to tell him what even happened while leaving out the gorier details.

I myself had not really a clue what was going on most of the time so-

My thoughts were interrupted by Nea, loudly proclaiming.

“There was some ugly guy with a magic staff but we kicked him and took his staff, so no more ice magic fer that idiot “

Well, that was one way to explain it, and it seemed Robin only noticed someone else was on my back as she spoke and looked a bit surprised.

And now Arthur finally showed up from behind a fallen boulder, panting a bit, looking at me then at Robin before doing a double take back at me.

“Why’s Nea on your back? Nevermind, i’m just glad the snow is gone”

“We all are, though now everything is full of mud and that’s going to be a nightmare to get out of fur”

I got a laugh out of Arthur for that comment.

“Yeah it think you have it the worst, but at least it fits the green colors”

I had to smile at this, yes the mud was stupid but that would go away, My friends wouldn’t go away though.

Maybe I should offer to take them back also?

Not like they could put much more of all this muck on me.

And looking around, i could see that all of the people involved would need a bath, though i couldn’t see Oakley, he was probably flying ahead or something.

Lucky fucker avoiding all of the dirt like that.

Rikaad who was on the front of the convoy with Norrin again somehow managed to only have some mud on his shoes and pants.

Norrin however looked like he’d been thrown into a puddle of it, and he also was back to looking uncomfortably uptight.

Nervousness in front of a higher ranking indeed made him act a bit weird, poor guy.

I looked back to Robin and Arthur, Both of whom looked like they had tried to stay out of the muddy puddles by climbing the ruins around us.

“You guys want a ride also? Not like i can get that much more muddy anyway”

Robin enthusiastically nodded while Arthur shook his head.

Well that were two completely different reactions, Then I remembered that Arthur said he had motion sickness.

Made sense for him to avoid anything that would cause it, and it wasn’t like I could go much faster than the rest of the group anyway.

I’d still give Robin the ride though, he seemed to love not being so small for a bit.

So I bent down again, being mindful of Nea, and let him climb up once again.

He adjusted himself about three feet behind Nea and clung to my fur, Carefully holding on.

I was glad he wasn’t tugging at it like Nea did, but since Nea was injured I figured to let her have that, it didn’t really hurt after all and she wasn’t ripping it out so it was fine if a tiny bit annoying.

But not nearly as annoying as my itching pouch, I really should ask Oakley if he had anything to make it stop.

Well Oakley was who knew where right now, and I had the suspicion that he went and hid the staff like he said he would.

He’d come back soon enough. 

He did want to live in the tower with the Oaktree next to it after all, and then I could just go over to him and see if he had anything that could make the itching stop.

I hoped he had something to make the itching stop, this was annoying as fuck.

Well, first we had to make the trek back to the castle, and now it was the middle of the day, Fuck.

That made it a hundred times more likely for the townsfolk to see me.

If this ended with pitchforks in front of the castle I would have a real problem.

Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that, …right?

Well the only thing i could do was hope for the best.

The trek back down the hill was a logistical nightmare as everything had turned into one giant mudslide and nobody managed to get down without slipping.

At some point i decided fuck it, and laid on my front just sliding all the way down even if that made my entire underside completely soggy from the mud.

That would be hell to get off, not to mention that if it dried it would get uncomfortable and stick to me even more.

At least Robin thought sliding down was fun judging by his laughter.

I was also pretty sure that I heard Nea giggle a little too but I wasn’t sure.

I would never mention that to her though.

Looking back at everyone else I could see that Rikaad was the only one that somehow did not fall into the mud.

He must have a good sense of balance.

Looking at myself I could see that my entire underside and legs were dripping with mud.

Yeah, I definitely needed a bath later, maybe dip myself in the ocean before shifting to avoid dragging mud everywhere.

That would make the castle staff hate me for sure.

It took another five minutes for everyone to get down, most of which just slid down like me either on purpose or as an accident.

This did not look like the royal guard at the moment, more like a bunch of kids that had gotten outside after rain.

I would have liked to shake the mud off of me like a dog but with the two on my back that wasn’t a good idea, I’d fling them off.

Suddenly Nea yanked on my fur again, this time with both hands like she wanted to stop a horse.

I looked in her direction as well as I was able to, and the guards around us also noticed that I had stopped dead in my tracks.

“Wait a second, we can’t just waltz right through town with tha big guy here! Now that everyones awake there would be a panic!”

She was right, and now that she pointed it out I realized I should have said something about this sooner.

But being around so many people made me nervous, especially since they all had weapons.

Norrin looked between me and the way to Tunstead, before going over to Rikaad and quietly speaking with him.

It wasn’t long after that that both came over to us.

Robin waved down from my back at both of them earning little waves back in return.

Then Rikaad and Norrin turned to me, with Rikaad not talking long around the matter at hand.

“Nea is right in that aspect, having you walk through Tunsted in the middle of the day is going to cause chaos, maybe you should walk the longer route around? If not i’m sure someone else can help Nea get around so you can shift down”

I could practically feel Nea glaring at the prospect of being carried like an helpless damsel, but she couldn’t refuse the king after all.

Though-

“Wait, shift down? Ya tellin me this muddy furball can shapeshift???”

Well that was not how i wanted people to know, and I for sure would take the longer route now to avoid getting stared at by all the other guards.

Not to mention that I would be covered in mud even more if I shifted.

I really didn’t like mud anymore after so much of it.

“I think i’ll just go around, gives whoever medic you want to call for her foot plenty of time to prepare, and i don’t want to be stared at if i’m honest”

Both Rikaad and Norrin nodded before Norrin spoke.

“I think the fastest way would be to head northwest a bit until you see the treeline and then follow it until you get closer to the ocean, by then you should see the castle anyway, good luck”

He had pointed in the direction we needed to go while he talked, not that that was necessary as I could see the trees in the far off distance quite well, then again I had the height advantage here.

I nodded at them and Norrin went back to organize the rest of the division who in the meantime had tried to scrape some of the mud off using whatever they could find to do so.

Rikaad lingered a few more seconds with us though.

“Stay safe, since you are between the forest and the city there still might be either People or Monsters so keep an eye out”

After that he went back to the group next to Arthur who tried to wring out mud from his shirt unsuccessfully.

Since they would now go back through Tunstead I decided to ask if Robin wanted to go with them, since I would take the longer route around with Nea he might want to stick to the other two.

“Hey Robin? You wanna go with the other two?

The long way around might be a bit boring”

I could feel him lean to the side a bit and I turned my head accordingly so he could see at least one of my eyes.

“I think i’ll stick with you, i don’t really know what to do in the group anyway and they make me kinda nervous”

I nodded and turned to walk towards the trees.

Robin was right, the guards did have a tendency to make me nervous as well so I could perfectly understand what he meant.

“Then let’s go, who knows how much longer this will take”

I settled into a steady walking pace, but that pace was still at least twice as fast as that of a jogging human.

The four legs really were practical in that sense, I could walk very fast and having people sitting on my back like this was almost no inconvenience.

I still was careful though, I absolutely did not want them to fall off.

That would not bode well for me, or my sanity, not to mention that Nea was already injured.

I did have to admit that she was one tough Woman though.

I probably wouldn’t be this calm if my foot had been hit by an ice blast, An event that she was currently telling Robin after he had asked what happened to her.

“-and that’s why my foot looks so ugly right now, but don’t worry, at tha castle they are gonna get tha boot off and fix it, I’ll be good as new in no time!”

Yeah that about summed it up, i just hoped she didn’t have to amputate it, that would suck.

“Yeah, as soon as we get there some doctor is going to help with that so we better get a move on”

I slightly sped up my gait, much to the amusement of the two sitting on my back, and it made mud drip everywhere.

I didn’t think I had that much of it in my fur but apparently I was mistaken.

Suddenly Nea leaned forwards a lot, and with a mischievous tone asked.

“Hey ya walkin mud puddle, how fast can ya get?”

There was amusement clearly evident in her voice and I decided to indulge both of them as Robin had started to chant for me to go faster at Neas suggestion.

“Alright, but if you feel like you can’t hold on anymore tell me and i’ll slow down”

I could feel both of them grip my fur even tighter and I slowly accelerated, gaining steadily on speed.

I went faster and faster as neither of them told me to stop and eventually the ground was just a blur underneath me while I leaped over the earth.

Ohh this was fun!

I didn’t even care about being covered in mud anymore.

I just went as fast as i could get all the while i heard Robin and Nea laughing.

“WOOHOO! Now that’s what I call fast! Well end up in tha castle before them if ya can keep that pace up big guy!”

Nea seemed thoroughly amused by the prospect of being there before the rest of the division.

To be fair it would be funny, so I kept the pace I was at, making the ground almost fly away underneath me.

Being this fast was weirdly fun, I hadn’t anticipated being able to go at such a pace but I wasn’t complaining.

The four legs clearly were an advantage for this.

The ground was far from even so it was a bit of a bumpy ride, but none of the humans on my back complained, instead they cheered when I had to take a particularly big leap to get over a ditch.

That made me wonder how far I could actually jump.

I decided to test it out by jumping over a small stream that came up ahead.

The Stream itself had swollen with melted snow and was an ugly brown color from all the mud, I’d guess it to be about eight feet across.

There wasn’t really any way around it, only a small dingy bridge that would never hold me so I had to jump regardless, and slowing down wouldn’t help me so I went even faster.

“Are you gonna Jump over that water?”

I heard Robin call from somewhere behind Nea.

“YES! So hold on and do not let go! This is going to be a rough ride!”

I could feel both of them lean forward as much as they could, which meant they were half lying half sitting on my back as I prepared to jump.

The water was now right in front of me and I jumped as soon as I felt it on the tip of my front paws, near flying over the mucky water.

I could hear Robin let out a squeal of joy and landed a few feet after the water on the other side.

I didn’t really know how far exactly that was but I would put it at about twelve feet.

Huh, that was impressive, I wondered how far exactly it was.

Suddenly I heard Nea call right into my ear.

“That’s tha fastest I have ever traveled!

we’re going to be at tha castle first fer sure!”

I just grinned and kept the pace I was at, occasionally jumping over various obstacles.

At some point not even five minutes later I could see the Castle in the Distance, yeah, we’d be first for sure.

Another good thing about being this fast aside from the obvious joy of my passengers was that the mud on me had mostly come off and only some dried bits were still stuck to me.

I’d still take a dip in the ocean to get it off though, that would make the bathwater itself less muddy.

I’d bet that the castle even had hot water, That was something I had always wanted to try.

On the streets it was either rainwater showers or a dip in whatever river I could find.

I’d shift down for that though, I didn’t think anyone would have a bathtub big enough for an Ardua.

Now that the Castle was within sight I changed course slightly to steer away from the treeline and towards the imposing building.

it was a good thing that i remembered where exactly the door was i had used when i first arrived here, even if it meant that the two on my back had to get down for a bit.

I was suddenly glad Robin had come with as he could help Nea getting down and then climb up again.

And he could also go ahead to inform a medic about Nea so they could prepare for whatever was wrong with her foot.

After that we could wait at the gate for everyone else, they’d be really confused as to why we were here before them.

Maybe Nea was lucky and got to see their reactions from out of a window.

I gradually went slower and came to a halt right before the closed door that led into the garden so as to not throw the two on my back off.

The door was still closed and I doubted anyone would open me without orders, sooo.

“Hey Nea, can you tell them to open the door?

I don’t think they’ll do it if i ask”

She leaned forward a bit and out of the corner of my eye I could see her nodding.

“Sure! I can do that!

OI YA FUCKERS OPEN THA DAMN GATE ALREADY!”

I took everything in me not to flinch at her sudden outburst, but at least I could hear the creaking of the door mechanism already.

“Nea! You are right behind my ears warn me please before you just holler so loudly”

“Sorry big guy, didn’t mean ta do that, also i don’t know how sensitive yer ears are but i won’t do it again”

I just huffed and bent down so Nea and Robin could climb off.

“Whatever, but you have to get off for a bit, i just barely fit through the frame and you would just fall of, you can get back up after i went through the gate though”

Robin immediately slid off and then stood awkwardly near where Nea would climb down as if to help.

Nea herself carefully swung her leg over and then slowly climbed down as well as she was able to with only one functional leg, and having to be caught by Robin after stumbling for a second.

“I’m fine, don’t make such a fuss! I can stand on my own”

She did not look fine, at least her foot didn’t but I chose to not say anything about it.

Robin also kept his mouth shut, instead just offering support by standing next to her so she could grab his shoulder if needed.

At this point the Door had completely opened and we could go through, I let Nea and Robin in first so I didn’t have to worry about accidentally hitting them with my tail.

The thing still was rather unusual to have and I didn’t exactly have full control over it so I’d rather not have it smack someone.

That would be really awkward.

Better not dwell on it, instead I focused on getting through the door myself, by ducking down again and shuffling forward while trying not to scrape my entire back on the top of it.

It only half worked and I hoped there wasn’t too much mud on it now.

On the other side of the gate I found a lot of guards, not the royal one but the ones stationed on the defense walls.

PREVIOUS / NEXT / OVERSIGHT

[rainbow--panic]

I write a lot of rdr2 myself, but I don't have many people who write for me!

I'd love to see someone elses take on Arthur with a chubbier woman who also happens to be a virgin, i am a slut for him in all directions and I'd love to see someone elses writing for him!!!

If you don't get to it don't worry about it!! But i figured I'd ask if you're taking rdr2!!

Dun du du daaaaaaaaa

and just like that your request is severed, hot ans spicy for ya

hope you enjoy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pairing:Arthur Morgan x Chubby!Virgin!Reader

Warnings:NSFW, Bit of self body hate, Being r@wdogged by a cowboy

Only lightly proof read this as I am very tired and want to nap

MINORS DNI

It was the middle of the afternoon and you and Arthur were planning on heading into Rhodes to get some supplies from the general store. You had gotten a list from Pearson of everything you needed, plus a small list of some other essentials needed around camp from Hosea and Dutch. You had changed into the one nice dress you had, which was reserved for days going into town, much like this one, and special events outside of camp. As you walked out of your tent you quickly locked eyes with Arthur. It hadn't been long but he was waiting for you and put his arm out for you to wrap your arms around as the two of you made your way to the wagon.

Arthur helped you up and then got up himself, taking the reins and riding out of camp. You held onto his right arm loosely as you laid on him, enjoying his company.

"So how have you been, dear? I know we haven't had a chance to be together lately with Dutch havin me run around like a chicken with its head cut off" Arthur said with a grin. You smiled at him, Arthur always......had a way with words, I guess you could say.

"Oh I've been alright, just dealing with Ms.Grimshaw bossin me around as if I'm just a no good lil hussie" Arthur chuckled. "Well ain't ya?" he jokingly asked, you playfully smacked his arm.

"Only for you Arthur" You said as you kissed his cheek.

Though he may have never admitted it to you, he loved leaving camp to be with you. It's not that he didn't want to tell you or never actually wanted to admit he loved you, it was more that he couldn't bring the right words together to say it. He loved the gang, he would gladly die for the gang, he knew you of all people were loyal to the gang, but if he had the chance to go live with you someplace beautiful where no one could ever find yall, he would. When you joined the gang it was no different then when Karen, Mary Beth, or Tilly joined. But with the way you were, how hard you worked in all the different camps, and the way you seemed to light up a room, it brought a strange feeling to Arthur, one he hadn't felt in a long time, back when he was younger and with another woman who he knew could never truly love him enough to stay by his side.

"You know, I am so glad Micha is gone" A smile was plastered across your face. "For now, anyways" Arthur added. It's been a little while since Arthur had busted him out of prison and now he's still hiding out somewhere behind Strawberry. You looked at Arthur and frowned. "Ain't there a way we could get Dutch to kick him out of the gang? I know I ain't of power to make requests like that but-" You trailed off, looking at the road ahead.

Safe to say Micha didn't get along with anyone in camp, especially you. Micha was the type of man who liked women to be, as he said, 'woman shaped not boar shaped' to which he immediately got an ass whoopin by Charles on Arthur's behalf as Arthur was out that night robbing a train. Arthur nudged you and smiled. "When I get the chance to, I'll shoot 'em for ya" both of you erupted into laughter. Micha was only good at causing problems but you both knew that somehow he was a part of Dutches' master plan.

"Don't you worry little missy, when he comes back I'll make sure to make it clear to him that if he messes with my girl, I'll deal with 'em'' He wrapped an arm around your waist, bringing you closer to him as he planted a kiss on your lips. As you part, a sigh escaped your lips. It always feels so nice to be alone with Arthur. At camp he has to show himself around as the top gun who fears no man. After all he is, but alone he's able to calm down and relax to your touch, he wants nothing more than for you to be his and for you to be happy.

The wagon stopped on the side of the store and the two of you went in. You began to look around with Arthur but then he split off to speak to the shopkeeper about rhodes. You noticed a mirror off to the side of the store. Wasn't a huge mirror, but it was big enough for people to see their whole bodies, more than likely put in by the shopkeeper so people could see what they look like in the clothing he sold. You looked at yourself in the mirror at both a front and side angle. You had never been too concerned about your figure, after all the bigger you were the more of you to love, but what Micha said had unfortunately got to you. He always found a way to get to people and now you started to imagine yourself looking more and more uglier. 'How could Arthur love someone as hideous as me?' you had asked yourself at one point. You really hadn't changed much from when you first joined the gang and even before then, but now your looking at yourself through hateful eyes you had seemed to change immensely.

Arthur came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and giving you a kiss on the neck. "Hey beautiful, whatcha doing?" he asked as if he hadn't been watching you from the moment you walked up to the mirror, with an expression showing your disgust for yourself. Your face grew red as you brushed it off saying 'nothing', the last thing you wanted was for Arthur to worry about your mentality. He held you for a few more moments before releasing you. The two of you went about your business in the shop and gathered all of the supplies needed. The shop keeper had offered to get the wagon all loaded since it was a decent amount of supplies and figured it would take a while. Arthur agreed to let him do it and decided that the two of you could go and have some fun. "Come on, women.''He said, waiting for you by the door. He held it open for you like a proper gentleman. He was always sweet on you and you loved it, so kind and gentle and yet so strong and fierce.

"Where are we off to Arthur?" Sweetly asking as you took his hand. "Well I figured we head off to the hotel, get a room while we're waiting and spend some time together." You could tell he was thinking of something, his eyes looked at you differently, not in a bad way, or so you hoped. Yall walked into the hotel and there just so happened to be a room for rent. You made your way up there and opened the door to see..........it wasn't as bad as the outside. In fact it wasn't bad at all. The inside was lovely. The bed was made up, the walls were a nice dark red with some black patterning, there was a chimney to keep warm in the winter, and the carpet looked as soft as could be. You sat yourself atop the bed as you looked around the room in awe, then to Arthur.

"So what is it yer planning? Finally gonna take me like a babe in the woods now?" You asked half jokingly. Not that you would mind. You've never actually had sex before and for how long you and Arthur had been together you would have thought he'd have taken you by now. You smile, then he starts walking towards you, hands at his sides. When he gets to your feet he bends down, placing his hands at either side of the bed as he leans into you and places a deep, passionate kiss on your lips. Moments later when he breaks it off, you are left slightly panting, wanting more.

"(Y/N), I see the way you look at yourself in that mirror, I've heard every goddamn awful thing Micha has said to you and the way he laughs at your figure, but he doesn't matter, he ain't with you because, to put it straight, he can't handle having a beautiful women such as yourself at his side. He doesn't deserve a woman like you and therefore he ain't got none." He grabs your right hand with his left, gently as he looks deep into your eyes.

"You are my everything, you are so beautiful to me, I would rather die than live a day without ever meeting you. You are the reason I love coming back to camp, you are the reason I love early mornings and late nights, I want you to be with my till the end, and I want you to be mine, if you'll have me" He finishes with a rasp in his voice, bringing your hand to his face and kissing it. You are left there with tears forming in your eyes and cheeks burning. You struggle to find words as you are left speechless. Never before have you been able to find a man who treats you so tenderly, who opens up to you, and values your time.

Taking in a deep breath, you say "Arthur, I love you so and I would love to be yours till the end, and I would greatly love if you were to take me here and now" He smiles and nods, putting his hat on the nightstand before grabbing your waist on either side and kissing you passionately, slowly lowering you to the bed as he begins to rub your hips, then moving slowly to your thighs. You try not to laugh as you gently push him away. "Arthur, perhaps we could get somewhere if our clothes were off, hmm?" He smiles sweetly at you. "'Scuse me there missy, I was trying to take it slow for you, considering' I'm yer first after all."

The both of you had gotten up and undressed, now you were embarrassed being in the nude with your lover but he didn't seem to mind as he took you in. He grabbed you and held you close, planting kisses all along the side of your neck and shoulder, meanwhile you could feel his dick getting harder. You draped your hands on his shoulders and soon enough they started to travel down to his chest. You decided that you should be brave and make the first move to initiate something, as he said he was taking it slow for you but you had wanted him for so long you could hardly wait any longer.

As you were softly moaning from the hickies he was giving you, you started to gently grasp his cock and start rubbing it. Taking his length in, feeling how thick it was. He grunted, obviously enjoying someone else touching it for a change. That's when you decided to push him on the bed then bent down. Karen had walked you through how to please a man properly, gave you all the tips and tricks you would need cuz she said "You never know when Arthurs gonna take you out on the woods and expect you to bend to his every whim."

Arthur looked at you, obviously intrigued. He knew you had never been with another man before, you had told him this many times, and yet here you were taking the lead. You spit on his tip and began to spread it around as a makeshift lubricant. You licked his tip before taking it in. Slowly you bobbed your head, taking in more and more of him over a small amount of time. Grunts frequentied out of his mouth as he leaned back, using his elbows for support, head leaning back. It was a sight to behold, here you were, pleasing one of the roughest, toughest, outlaws of the west. You held on to one of his thighs as you quickened your pace, his hand found his way into your hair. His grunts become louder as you edge him. Before his climax you hold your head down as he cums in your mouth. Warm, salty, liquid filled your mouth as you pulled back, coughing up some of it. Breathing heavily, Arthur quickly got up and apologized. "I'm sorry darlin', I don't know what came over me." He said

You wiped any remaining cum from your lips as you regained your breath and laughed. "If I knew you were that needy I would have taken you to town myself long ago." He chuckled as he helped you to the bed. He laid you down on your back and placed himself at your entrance. His thumb had traced small circles around your entrance before landing on and rubbing your clit. A surprised gasp left your lips as you felt this new sensation.Arthur humed, pleased with himself.

With his free hand he grabbed his throbbing cock and gave it a quick stroke. It was obvious that he was far too excited to do this with you as touched you, then rubbed his tip on your entrance. As his tip went over your now sensitive bud you had let out a small mew. Arthur leaned down and planted a kiss on your lips, tasting some of his own cum that lingered on your lips. He grabbed onto your legs and spread them, then with one of his hands he inserted himself into you, slowly. It was slightly painful at first, and Arthur took note of how tight you were, having trouble fitting all the way in. He let out a gruff "Damn women '' as he made his way completely inside of you. As you adjusted to him, some tears fell from your eyes. He kissed all over your face, cheek to cheek, landing on your lips.

"Darling' just let me know when you're ready" He had said between kisses. With a sigh and a wiggle of your hips, you looked at him and nodded. Gripping your thighs, he spread them once more. Slowly he thrust out then back in. The pace stayed slow until you bucked your hips.With a grunt he quickened the pace. You moaned, it felt so invigorating, finally having him inside you made you feel whole. You loved the way his strong arms held you, how no matter how badly you wanted to squeeze him in your thighs, your strength was nothing compared to his. The thought that, if he very so wanted, he could crush you right now. He could put a hand around your neck and fuck the living daylight out of you, could have you in a complete moaning mess, all sweaty and dumb.

"Arthur~" You moaned. He seemed pleased with that.��"Mmm? Yes darlin? what can I do for ya?" He smirked. He could see it in your eyes, you wanted more. He began going rougher, he started to drill into you faster. Your moans became louder and more frequent. Your eyes started watering up as you closed them. "C'mon darlin, look at me" with that your eyes snapped back open to look at Arthur in all his glory. The light showed off his skin as the two watched each other for mere moments before locking lips together. Arthurs pace not faltering for a second as he mercilessly pounded into you. You felt a knot in your stomach as he went on.

"A-Arthur I-I Oh~" you tried to tell him but your moans had overpowered you. "Already, Sweetheart? maybe you were needier than me!" He laughed as he trudged into you, letting you reach your climax with his following soon after. You were not both just laying on the bed, panting, holding each other in your arms. With a kiss and some pillow talk, yall cleaned yourself up and made your way back to the wagon. All the while getting stares from other people in the area, including those in other rooms, the hotel clerk, some men and women outside, and even the man who had conveniently finished loading your wagon. Arthur helped you up once more and pulled himself up after you. For the short trip back to camp you remained on his lap, loving on him while you still could. Maybe one day he'll bring you out here again, can't say that the clerk will rent ya another room though.

[aurumacadicus]

What about "I'm sorry about waking you. You looked like you were having a nightmare." with Tony/Thor?

I always have Thor being the soft one 🤔 Maybe it's Tony's turn.

Just kidding even when I try to make Tony the softie it still somehow turns into Thor comforting him. In my defense, Thor's hundreds of years old and has had time to learn patience.

--

Thor was twitching.

Tony sat up a little, frowning, as he watched Thor's mouth twist into a grimace, his brows furrowing, muscles spasming in whatever dream he was having. He lifted a hand, reaching out toward him, then pulled it back to his chest nervously. Should he wake him up?

Thor had never had a problem waking him up from a nightmare, even if JARVIS found it an ill-advised decision. But then again, Thor was also physically on par with the Norse God most people thought he was. He could handle Tony's punches and scratches and screams of terror until he figured out when where he was, at least physically. Tony couldn't say the same. Thor might actually really hurt him if he woke up abruptly, groggy and in the residual throes of his dream.

He looked like he was in pain.

Tony swallowed thickly, hand hovering out again. Thor let out a grunt, which made him pull his hand back again. He hovered, feeling useless. This was why he hated being the squishiest member of the team; Steve and Bruce would have brushed off a hit, and Natasha and Clint would have simply avoided it. Tony was slow, at least compared to everyone else. He might not be able to get out of Thor's attack radius if he woke up aggressive.

Then Thor made a sound, soft, agonized. Broken.

Tony grabbed his pillow and crawled off the bed, then took a few steps just for good measure. Turned. Took aim.

Threw his pillow as hard as he could. It hit Thor smack in the face.

Thor jerked upright so abruptly that Tony skittered back a few more steps, just in case. He breathed in deeply a few times, then finally let his breath out slowly through his teeth. Looked around. Frowned in confusion when he finally caught sight of Tony standing across the room.

"...What's going on?" Thor asked when Tony said nothing, instead just watching him, eyes wide and wary.

"I'm sorry," Tony said quickly, and then, when Thor's eyebrows furrowed together, added, "For waking you. You looked like you were having a nightmare."

Thor blinked at him slowly, as if he was still trying to figure out what happened. Finally, though, he held his hand out to him. "Come here."

Tony drifted closer, shoulders hunching in with every step. Thor didn't look upset, but he also didn't look very happy. He didn't know if it was because he'd remembered the nightmare, didn't and was taking Tony's word for it, or if he was just upset he'd been woken up. Maybe he should have asked what to do when they'd talked about starting to sleep together. He just... hadn't thought about it. He'd gone out of his way to tell Thor what to do if he was having a nightmare. He'd just... foolishly assumed that Thor never had any of his own when he hadn't returned the sentiment.

Thor took his hand, carefully drawing him back onto the bed. "I was. Having a nightmare," he offered gently. "It was horrible. Thank you for waking me up, beloved. Don't ever do that again."

"That's what I thought," Tony sighed miserably. He looked up at Thor through his lashes, frowning. "You looked like you were in pain."

"Emotional only," Thor promised, hand coming up to cradle Tony's cheek in it. "Bad memories. I've lost a lot." He leaned in, brushed a kiss over Tony's lips, then leaned back, smiling a little. "I appreciate you trying to rescue me from them, Tony. More than I can properly convey, I think."

"But don't do it again," Tony surmised, and Thor leaned in to press another kiss to his lips. He didn't say anything, but the kiss felt like a 'yes.' He sighed quietly as Thor leaned back, dropping his gaze to his lap. "What should I do?"

"Ideally, you'd let me work through it myself. I always pass through a nightmare eventually," Thor said. Then he sort of smiled and shook his head. "However, if you're really in distress, I suppose chucking another pillow full force from the other side of the room would be a viable substitute."

Tony huffed, unable to stop the way the corner of his mouth curled upward too. "My aim will only get better, you know."

"Tony, if there's anything I would never doubt, it's the fact that you'd get better at something just to spite me," Thor said, voice fond, and leaned in to kiss him again to smother his startled bark of laughter.

[the-fiction-witch]

Little Darlin'

Media Godless

Character Whitey Winn

Couple Whitey X Reader

Rating Sweet + Cute

Concept The Fall

I finished tying my boots and headed off my little wooden porch into the dust and dirt of Labelle with the other ladies as I walked I heard a cocky tone

"Mornin' ladies." I glanced over seeing whitey Winn the deputy boy sat in his small wooden chair on the office porch clearly having been woken from a recent nap in the chair. His boots close to the end of the porch covered in a years worth of dust and dirt, his pants tight to his thin frame, his gun Belts sat crossed over his hips, his shirts so dirty I'm almost convinced you spilled a glass of water on them and left them in the sun a day or so they'd start growing shoots from within the fabric, his skin caked with dirt in various layers his hat sat on his head keeping the sun from his eyes he saw me looking and his lip curled up he moved a hand to the rim of his hat tipping it to me as he spoke "Hiya little darlin"

I rolled my eyes and continued walking, whitey knew I didn't perticularly like him Be honestly I don't think he perticularly liked me either being a dirty, sharp shooting cowboy and myself a pacifist and gardener with a cleaning compulstion. Natural the two of us wouldn't exactly see eye to eye over things didn't help we were the only two of a similar age, everyone else in town, old enough to be our parents or young enough to be our children.

I continued in until I reached the frame of the church hitching up my skirt and starting to work on the roof.

I did my work hammer in hand making sure the church was as good as it could be humming my little song as I worked, I set my hammer down a moment getting another nail from my box but as I went to grab the hammer it slipped and fell to the earth breaking the wooden handle and taking off the metal hammer as it hit the ground "ohh fiddlesticks" I sighed I turned trying to get back to the ladder to climb back down and get a new hammer but somehow my dress even though I had pinned it up considerably got caught on something not sure what, so as I tried to carefully walk away down the small wooden beam my dress tugged me back causing me to slip my dress to rip as I tumbled down from the top beam of the church following after my hammer. I screamed trying to grab for the beam but it was too late I knew I'd impact the ground soon and very likely crack my head open but i landed and immediately felt like nothing hurt

"Whoa whoa there. You alright little darlin?"

I opened my eyes and saw I wasn't actually on the ground, whitey Winn had caught me in his arms holding me close to him as a husband hold a new bride his arm under my knees holding my legs and the other around my waist keeping me in his arms my hands gripped onto his shirt tightly in my panic it was strange as much as whitey did annoy me and frustrate me it was a different feeling utterly to be held in his arms so sweetly my heart a flutter at the dirty cow boy as I saw him in a way I never had before sweet, careing, protective. He made eye contact with his face, reading genuine concern for me. And suddenly it all came together with what girls like about law men. The way he held me, looked at me, spoke to me the way his hat protected the sun from my eyes and his facial hair made him seem so much more manly and strong I felt butterflies in my stomach for the first time ever since knowing whitey Winn.

"Uhhhh yes. Yes I'm fine" I nodded trying hard not to blush "thank you whitey"

"No trouble little darlin, couldn't let you fall now could I?" He says "you ready to go down?" He chuckled

"Yes please" I smiled

So he gently lower my legs letting me stand being gentle and careful the whole time barely letting me hold my full weight making sure I was alright "there we go. You sure you're alright?"

"I'm sure." I nodded

"Okay then, you be careful up there I can't always be around to save ya" he joked "I'll leave ya to your work" he says tipping the brim of his hat to me before he wandered off into town, I straightened myself up and grabbed a new hammer heading back up the ladder.

I felt so nervous, so embarrassed about doing this but I don't know I couldn't help myself I knocked on the office door a few times holding my basket in my hand

"It's open!" Whitey called from inside so i pushed ooe rhe door snd headed inside seeing him sat at his desk reading the paper he glanced up at me and smiled as he usually did "AHH Hiya little darlin. Something I can help you with?" He asks setting the paper down on his desk and leaning in his elbows his chin in his hands

"I uhh I just wanted to pop by, I have something for you"

"For me?" He asks

I nodded pulling back the gingham cover to reveal the silver pan and small jars and I'd never seen him smile so widely his face utterly lot up

"Pie!"

"Blackberry and spiced apple pie" I smiled

Immediately he took it eagerly from the basket grabbing a fork from within his desk draw and immediately having some looking utterly smitten

"Ummm your pies are the stuff of legend little darlin" he says "ohh and some little preserves" he smiled spotting the jars getting them out to read the little labels "all this is for me?"

"Of course, as a little thank you for catching me the other day. When I fell from the church" I smiled

"Oohh. Aww that's sweet of ya" he smiled "Well thank you very much little darlin, I shall have to keep my eye out I'll catch ya again if these are my rewards" he smiled

"I'm sure you'd get lots more rewards if you did" I smiled "have a nice day whitey"

"You too y/n"

I quickly hurried out shutting the door behind me immediately being revolted by myself as I stood on the porch hand sweaty, stomach full of butterflies and heat in my cheeks uhhhhh god! It's whitey Winn! For goodness sake get a grip.

I smiled as I worked humming my little song as I collected eggs up from my many hens adding each fresh eggs to my basket with wipe on my apron in-between.

"Hello little darlin" I heard from the door making me immediately jump and blush as I turned seeing whitey in the doorway

"Ohhh hello whitey" I blushed

"You had a little escapist" he says holding one of my chickens "she's lucky I brought her back I was gonna make soup," he says

"Ohh thank you whitey" I smiled taking my chicken "silly Harriet go on now" I told her setting her back with the others "thank you for bringing her back"

"It's alright least I could do. I know you not found of me hurting them"

"Not perticularly no. I like my chickens." I smiled continuing my work as to distract myself and he even came around to help me reaching in the back of the box and under straw where I couldn't see

"I also like your chickens for very different reasons however" he says "oww!" He complained as hetti pecked his leg

"Understandable, they are delicious"

"I thought you wouldn't kill them?"

"I won't but sometimes one must when they get too old or too sick or if someone gets them" I glared

"I didn't mean to shoot the chicken, I was aiming for the wall" he says

"Still, she made good roast though"

"I can imagine so. In that note if you do have any eggs?"

"Course" I smiled sorting through the eggs into those I'd put back for future baby chickens and those I could sell to people in town as they had no baby chickens. I made him up a little box of those and handed them over

"AHH thank you, that'll keep me going a while" he says "here you go" he says grabbing the coins from his pocket which he handed over I counted up the coins and found he neede change and I didn't have any

"Ohh fiddle sticks. I don't have any change"

"Oh? Don't worry about it take it off next time"

"No no I'll forget" I sighed and suddenly I hatched a small plan "I can get you your change if you close your eyes" I smiled nervously

"Uuuuuuuhhh…okay?" He says clearly confused but doing as I asked anyway once his eyes where shut I blushed hard a moment for a second too nervous to even try but I stood in my tip toes and pressed a little kiss to his cheek I quickly moved away and focused on the chickens but I couldn't help looking out the corner of my eye as his eyes opened and he gave me a strange look the sort of look you'd give to a child you completely don't believe when there telling a lie "right" he nods with a smile "I'll see ya in town little darlin" he says taking his eggs and heading out shutting the coops door behind him

Immediately I turned bring red and giggly.

I stood humming my little tune brushing my horse Rosie as she stood in the labelle stables I wanted a stable of my own but given the chickens I didn't have the space so she had to stay in the stable with the fee other horses in town.

"Hiya little darlin" whitey smiled as he arrived to take care of his own horse ted who was up the other end of the stables from me

"Hi whitey" I blushed

"How's she doing?"

"Good, how's he?"

"Fine. You just keep that little lady of yours away from my stallion" he told me as he worked "I can't hold him"

"I will, then again it would give you opportunity to save me again"

"It would. If I was to save ya would I get one of your delicious pies?"

"Of course"

"Cut it out" he chuckled

"What?"

"Cut it out"

"Cut what out?"

"Quit being so damn nice to me"

"....uuhhh"

"You're not going to admit you've been a hell of alot nicer to me lately"

"No I've been as nice to you as I always have"

"You little liar. You hate me. And I don't know what kinda cruel game your playing but cut it out" he says

"I don't hate you whitey" I said coming over to peek into Ted's stable "I've never hated you"

"Really? You called me a gun toating moron"

"... you did shoot my chicken"

"You said I smelt like a prisoners unemptied chamber pot"

"... It was a very hot day and you hadn't had a bath in a week"

"I know why your being nice to me"

"You do?"

"Yes. And cut it out. It's a crush you'll get over it"

"Excuse me"

"You'll get over it. Your only being nice to me because you got a wave of adrenaline and fear when you fell off the church roof. It's a crush you don't actually like me you probably still hate me. It's a crush you'll get over it" he says

"Screw you whitey!"

"There's the harsh insulting I'm used to"

"How dare you tell me what's going on in my mind! Like you know! My opinions and emotions are my own and if I decide to fall madly in love with the gun toating rarely bathing deputy then god damn it that's my business!"

He was stunned for a moment utterly unable to speak. "M-madly in love?"

"Yes, you idiot!"

"You - you actually like me?"

"Yes!" I yelled grabbing his face and pulling his lips to my own initially he was in an utter panic for a moment but soon relaxed and wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me back softly till we pulled back 

"You actually really like me? I really liked you, but I thought you hated me. and you being nice was some kinda horrible rug pull" He explained 

"Of course not, I admit I never much liked you but after the church I saw you in a different light. I always thought you where a cocky asshole but you've been so sweet ever since. I really do like you whitey" I smiled nuzzling with his chest 

"I like you too, did you maybe wanna pack up the horses and go on a little picnic by the river?"

"I'd like that whitey" 

"Okay, come on little darlin' we get down there now we'll be able to watch the sunset" He smiled before giving me a little kiss 

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

curious to know what you have been planning for this week 👀

well well well, wouldn't you like to know 🤭

there is one thing i know for sure will be posted this week and that's night out, which is a second part (out of three) to that bodyguard fic i wrote a few months back. that is already done and ready to drop on saturday.

other than that there is another fic in the sugar and spice au (the one i had you all vote for a few days ago) that i am actually just finishing up right now as we speak, so i hope i'll get to edit that and finish it up so that it can also come out either this week or next week. idk, we will see. i have a super stressful meeting planned for on wednesday, so that's kinda bleeding over and making it hard for me to work the days close to that...

i'm also just working on a ton of other wips, so you never know, maybe i could have an explosive session with one of them and finish. maybe i'll be too excited about it right now and just post it immediately and not schedule it into my calender like i often do.... you never know...

but also, i have already been mildly teasing about this, but i have something VERY special and exciting planned for next week (the first week of september, the first week of autumn if that gives you any clues) but get motherfucking ready. i am so excited that i nearly clicked to post it like a billion times but somehow held onto my self control enough to at least wait till september hit to start burying myself in it.

[random-lil-illing]

so, no art today because i'm trying to take a small break from drawing so i don't burn myself out. i do, however, bring a poem (?? a speech? a fanfic? technically counts as all three) !! i'll let you figure out who it's being told to (who the angel is), who the devil is, and who's saying it all. the tags might give a few hints :)

"did it hurt? it must've. getting dragged away from heaven can't have brought you anything less than agony. 

the devil tricked you, didn't he? he dressed and talked like an angel, sneaking his way into heaven. i don't blame you for trusting him - he looked just like you and offered you his hand, which radiated warmth. your hands were always freezing, of course you'd be attracted to someone who ran hot, even if it was in all the wrong ways.

you were always so naive, so trusting. you always saw the best in people. how were you meant to see a devil in disguise, when he was offering to bring your dreams to life? to bring you down to earth? it was something you'd always dreamed of, the mortal plane - a beautiful paradise where you were in control, where you'd be worshipped for just being yourself - for being an angel.

but when he took your hand and started leading you down, he didn't stop at the mortal plane, no, he kept going until he reached the deepest damned pits of hell. somewhere you'd never be cherished like you were promised you'd be, not in the slightest. no, down here in hell, you were only his puppet, used for everyone's entertainment. but what the devil didn't realize is that, just like him, angels changed when they were in an environment opposite to theirs. heavenly beings like yourself were made for the gentle breeze and soft lifestyle the clouds brought, not the daunting flames and the stress hell threw onto you. and everyone knows that things that are meant to stay cold melt when brought into a hot area. and melt you did - you melted right in front of everyone. and did the devil bring you back? of course he did. he didn't go through all the effort to bring you down here just for you to turn into a puddle on your first day. 

he tried, he tried so hard to turn you into something you never were, he tried for days to form you into a demon's view of an angel. but, as with all the devil's ideas, it didn't work out very well. he brought you back, sure, but you didn't quite turn out right. you were different than before, than what you were meant to be in his eyes. his little experiment on you failed. it wasn't your fault, no, it never was, but did you really think the ruler of hell himself would take the blame? of course not. so he hand fed you lies with those claws of his, while caressing the face that didn't belong to you, only ever responding to a voice that wasn't yours. he told you were hideous, ugly, terrifying. you believed him, and you had every reason to. the demons, they mocked you, they compared you to what you looked like back in heaven, to what an angel is supposed to look like. and you looked nothing like either of those, you looked nothing like what you had known your whole life. of course you'd think you weren't pretty. of course you'd turn to the devil's ways just to get your beauty back. 

oh, how i wish i was there when it all happened, so i could tell you the truth. so i could tell you that you were never scary or misshapen. no, you were always gorgeous in my eyes. even when the devil tainted your mind with his words, even when you continued with your immoral ways long after the devil's chains that held you back snapped. you're not ugly, never were, you just weren't meant to be down here.

what he did to you was twisted, sickening. and yet, you're somehow the villain in this story. in your story."

[memoriapraeteritorumbonorum]

Letters to Makalaurë - V

I am going to tell you a story, Makalaurë. One musician to another.

There is one piece I never finished playing. One piece that shatters me to my very core every time it falls on my ears. It may not sound like a big deal when I say it like this, but there is so much more to this story than what meets the eye.

The second I had heard the first keys being pressed, I had known I would never be the same. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was young, confused and frustrated. I didn't know where I was emotionally, at all. You see, Makalaurë, this piece touched me in ways I had never experienced before. I had never felt this way in my entire life. It was like some otherworldly force had decided to sprinkle some of its magic onto me. I felt the caress of welcoming arms holding me, reassuring me that everything would be alright. That it was okay to feel this way.

I felt seen, heard.

Never before had a piece comforted me so and ripped me apart at the same time like this. It reminded me of the loneliness that was eating away at my insides, but at the same time praising this feeling. This romance inherent in solitude.

Oh, how my soul would cry out every night, begging to just be held. To be seen. To be loved and understood. I had felt so very lost, and for the first time, something seemed to have found me. Some divine, motherly force. It felt like all these years spent longing for love and warmth had finally paid off. To this day, I cannot hold back my tears when hearing that familiar melody.

I decided I would take on that piece. That it would be more than just another project for my musical journey — it would be so much deeper, more significant. I decided that I would battle the tears. That this piece, that somehow brought out every ounce of pain I had ever felt in my life leading up to this moment, would be the epiphany that I had been desperately searching for. I would finally feel enlightened.

I have always been a very sensitive individual. You see, music would always bring tears to my eyes, from a young age. How many tears have fallen onto the keys of my piano. How many times have I punched them too hard out of frustration. How many times have I tried to tell my story through these melodies.

Lots of years have passed now. I evolved into a person that my younger self would be proud of. I have found other ways to express myself creatively, to take care of myself when nobody else does.

The loneliness never really went away after all, I'm afraid.

I still reminisce about the times spent playing. My pianist days have been over for a long time now, and while I know that I could easily take it up again if I really tried, something inside me tells me it's too late.

I feel shame.

Shame that I didn't keep the promise I made to myself all those years ago. In a way, I feel like I let myself down in more ways than I could describe to you now. I feel like I lost a part of myself and just watched her vanish right in front of my very eyes, knowing I could have changed that outcome, knowing I could have brought her back, taken her by the hand and let her know that I didn't forget about her like everybody else. That she is still relevant and wanted.

And yet, I watch as the dust accumulates on the closed keyboard cover of my beloved piano, which stands there in the corner now, all by itself.

It breaks my heart, Makalaurë, knowing how neglected it must feel. How out of tune it must sound. And still, I do not dare touch it. I have the sheet music hidden away somewhere, but I cannot bring myself to actually gaze upon it. It brings back so many memories that I wish I could relive and change. Do you ever feel like once you quit something you shouldn't take it up again?

I still feel lost. And intimidated. And this piece stitches everything back together. Temporarily, at least. Until I get reminded that I couldn't bring myself to finish it. Where I once couldn't go a day without playing, where playing to me was like breathing, I have now become estranged. I have this ever strong urge to just let my fingers glide across the keys like they last did. To feel the liberation, the ease of just letting go, of escaping into melodies as colorful as flower fields on a warm spring day. But every time I sit down in front of my piano, my once closest friend, I find myself frozen. Helpless. My fingers are heavy and unable to move, seemingly having forgotten every technique they have learned over the past twelve years.

It's as if I had never played at all.

Can I even call myself a musician?

[okamirayne]

I finished the entire BtB series (and HHU) about a week ago and it hasn't left my mind even once.

I'm not quite sure how to put my thanks into words: You managed to make me feel so obsessed with reading like when I was a kid. I stayed up until 4 am, had to literally force myself to sleep because I was (am!) so incredibly invested. No other piece of literature has done that since like... 6 years? I cried, screamed, laughed, gasped, blushed at so many scenes - the heartache was genuinely so beautiful.

I know the first part of BtB is quite old and your writing has improved a lot since then but all the parts read incredibly seamlessly.

I could *hear* the characters voices in my head while reading, picture the scenes like a movie in my head. The attention to detail and the accuracy of the characters makes me so incredibly happy. Usually when reading, I notice every single distraction going on around me and it's so rare that something pulls me in to the point I just zero in on the story.

There's a lot of scenes that stuck in my mind and to my surprise, I resonated most with your characterisation of Genma. I went in a die-hard Neji fan (and still am) and came out with a deep appreciation for Shikamaru and Genma. (That being said, I also really love then way you portray the other characters, especially Hiashi and Ibiki who I really didn't like before.)

Genma's story just... God it has my heartstrings in a death grip. His never-ending jack-assery and dirty jokes and the way Raido sees right through it.

The fact he held onto items important to him and related to the people he loved most...

The way he handled Shikamaru and Asuma and Kurenai's baby while still insisting he doesn't do well with children.

The way he made Kakashi say what he feels near the end of UtS in an ass-backwards way but a way that didn't allow for deception and empty words.

But, I think the moment that made me sob and laugh and feel the most was when he said "You ruined it" - that fucking killed me right then and there.

When I first met Genma in your story I was really sceptical and suspicious of him, thinking he was somehow the bad guy. And then I grew to love him and hurt for him. That was so extremely well done.

I also have to get off my chest that I love, love, love the way you described his drug trips (and Kakashi's little endeavor with medicines) as well as dreams and flashbacks. I find that these things are mostly feelings and oh so confused and confusing that it's hard to put into words but you genuinely excel at it.

I also love the transitions of dreams back to reality. Keyword here being "back". God, nothing hurt me more than reading that word in HHU. I think you know which scene I mean.

I also read through old asks and found out more about Naoki and Karibi. I love these two so much as well. Karibi struck me as very interesting and I'm glad I got to find out how she lived and died. Especially because HHU kind of alluded to her commiting or attempting suicide.

Naoki... My heart hurts for him. This poor, poor man. I'm so fucking glad he didn't have to die alone. He was so strong for Genma though, building him up, putting him on the right path and giving him a verbal slap for being an addict, giving Kakashi and him his blessings eventhough he used to be so possessive and protective of Genma.

His story really is tragically beautiful and incredibly complex. I really wanted him to live but realistically I knew it wasn't going to happen.

How old were Karibi, Naoki and Genma when they joined Team Yokai? When Inoichi saw Genma and Naoki kiss and Genma talks about his Senbon hitting certain nerves (hehe), they're said to be about 17 and I remember it being mentioned that Naoki took a while to "bottom" in bed due to his childhood trauma.

Also can we talk about the Tsubomi poem? That is so *beautiful*. Did it come easy to you or was it hard to write? It fits so incredibly perfectly to Naoki and Ino.

One thing that confuses me about the storyline is the epilogue of Requiem, where Genma has a flashback(?) about Shuken holding Naoki hostage and making him reveal his name. Could you explain to a confused-maybe-stupid-me when that takes place and how Genma and Naoki escape from that situation?

I can't stop gushing about your story so i won't:

Shuken's character is also so well written. When we first meet him in Shikamarus flashbacks, I was also oddly intrigued eventhough I had an idea about what sort of fucked up things he'd done to Shikamaru. You wrote his seductiveness really well. And then he reveals his age and I got *deeply* disturbed and as we learn more I just got more and more disturbed. The progression was so well done, I felt like I was sort of experiencing what Shikamaru was going through. The use of "Shika" sent cold shivers down my spine.

I also really loved your wheels within wheels and walls within walls metaphor for the ANBU. It creates such an amazing mental image that can be played around with so creatively.

Aaa. Okay. I think I got most of my thoughts down so far. I'm sure I'll come back to gush some more, maybe ask some more.

Thank you so much for this amazing story and all the work and hours you put into it. I can't wait to read more from you 💙

My dear @sunlightrays 💙💙 Thank you so much for both your patience with me as I finally secure the time to respond, and of course, for the phenomenal feedback you've given me. As expressed in my private DM. It impacted me immensely...and I am still moved and altered by it -- thank you. I will endeavour in this reply to answer your Qs to the best of my ability, given that I do tend to revert back into a blob of incoherent feels every time I revisit this message...💙

I know the first part of BtB is quite old and your writing has improved a lot since then but all the parts read incredibly seamlessly.

Oh dear lord...that first installment....*cringes* oh the temptation to rewrite it, luv...THE TEMPTATION....(aww, thank you though, I appreciate that you felt it all flowed together).

There's a lot of scenes that stuck in my mind and to my surprise, I resonated most with your characterisation of Genma. [...] Genma's story just... God it has my heartstrings in a death grip. His never-ending jack-assery and dirty jokes and the way Raido sees right through it.

Oh, luv, I do so love writing Genma and his respective relationships, whether platonic or romantic.

I'm so freaking happy you took a shine to his portrayal in BtB! The feedback you have given me with WHY and WHAT you loved about Genma's portrayal and story was just...I can't even begin to describe how nourishing that was to my writer's soul. If every writer were to receive this kind of feedback, I can see their proverbial cups running over with gratitude and inspiration. Thank you so, so much.

I also love the transitions of dreams back to reality. Keyword here being "back". God, nothing hurt me more than reading that word in HHU. I think you know which scene I mean.

Ah god damn, but you hit me hard with the love you showed my OCs. Thank you so, so much for that and for sharing what it was that drew you in -- especially with Naoki. 💗💗💗 (Even Shuken, dare I say)

How old were Karibi, Naoki and Genma when they joined Team Yokai?

13 to 14 years old. Naoki joined when he was 13, Karibi and Genma at 14. By the time they were assigned to Team Yokai, they were all 16.

When Inoichi saw Genma and Naoki kiss and Genma talks about his Senbon hitting certain nerves (hehe), they're said to be about 17 and I remember it being mentioned that Naoki took a while to "bottom" in bed due to his childhood trauma.

Correct! They'd have been 17/18 years old at that time. Age 19 is when Naoki tragically accepted Danzo's offer and was listed as KIA after his 'fake death'.

Re: intimacy issues. Right you are. Due to his childhood abuse, Naoki refused to "bottom" for the longest time. It took a hell of a lot for Genma to work through that with him. Karibi helped with this too.

Also can we talk about the Tsubomi poem? That is so *beautiful*. Did it come easy to you or was it hard to write? It fits so incredibly perfectly to Naoki and Ino.

Aww....I'm so touched you felt that way about Naoki's poem for Ino. It's such a tough question to answer. Anything that is deeply personal or painful for the characters always twinges my heartstrings when writing...but for Naoki, his guarded emotions came out in his seldom seen/heard creativity / art, so writing it was easy in the sense that it flowed into my head easily from the character, but it was hard in the sense that it reflected so much of Naoki's pain as well as his love.

One thing that confuses me about the storyline is the epilogue of Requiem, where Genma has a flashback(?) about Shuken holding Naoki hostage and making him reveal his name. Could you explain to a confused-maybe-stupid-me when that takes place and how Genma and Naoki escape from that situation?

Oh my dearest, YOU are in no way the confused-maybe-stupid party in this. In fact, "I" am the idiot who cut a LOT of scenes surrounding Naoki's torture at Shuken's hands and the escape situation *epic facepalm* In hindsight, I would love to go back and edit that by re-writing/editing and INCLUDING those scenes. I can see the holes there from the reader's perspective, and if I hadn't been operating like a runaway train at the time, I'd have slowed down to correct that error.

So, that scene where Genma has the nightmare flashback of Shuken holding Naoki hostage. Let me do a breakdown chronology as it's the easiest way my fucked-up spiderweb mind-map can be translated into a linear sequence....

Naoki gets stabby-happy with Shuken (plunges that needle into his neck) and fucks up his ROOT mission, but prioritises saving Shikamaru

Naoki needs Genma to "buy him time" while he tries to fix the trauma and everything coming undone in Shikamaru's head

So Genma goes happy-hunting on the Freak Show as Naoki deep dives into Shikamaru's brainpan

(DELETED SCENE) Naoki stablisies Shuken so the natural energy doesn't kill him. Then Naoki deep-dives into Shikamaru's brainpan and meets with some complications because of the natural energy swimming around inside him.

(cont. DELETED SCENE) Naoki tries to stabilise Shikamaru too, but gets interrupted mid-brain-and-body-fix by more Freak Show cross-breeds looking for bossman Shuken. Naoki can't complete what he's doing with Shikamaru and needs more time. He hides Shikamaru and takes out the opponents interrupting him before rushing to assist Genma

He assists Genma lol -- ends up getting injured (takes a nasty blow to his hip, if I recall)

He tells Genma he needs more time with Shikamaru to fix the kid

Genma is too busy freaking out about Naoki stabbing his mark/Shuken in the neck and the consequences of this action

They get interrupted by more Freak Show mutants, which sabotages Naoki's plan to regroup with Shikamaru and use the Nagu blood vial to get them the hell out

Naoki opts to stay behind to distract the Freak Show and give Genma time to get Shikamaru out, so he kisses Genma in a heated moment to shut him up and save time by connecting their minds where he " communicated in seconds what would've taken minutes to put into words; why Tenka had killed those children; where he'd hidden Shikamaru; what he'd tried to do to fix him; the secret route he planned to use to get them out; and lastly, what he was asking Genma to do – no, ordering him to do." -UtS

He tells Genma to get Shikamaru out, basically, even though he hasn't finished 'fixing' the kid. Naoki gets caught (DELETED SCENE)

Genma does as he's ordered, only he can't bring himself to leave Naoki behind again so after crossing through the portal so Shuken can't reach the kid, he hides and secures Shikamaru (DELETED SCENE) and returns to go and help Naoki, letting himself get caught in the process

Naoki in the meantime has been at Shuken's mercy (or lack thereof) and is receiving a traitor's punishment (DELETED SCENE) -- it is at this point that Genma's flashback dream comes into play where Shuken is starting to shown signs of transmogrification due to the natural energy in his system (think Sound Four on steroids) and wants to know Genma's name and where he stashed Shikamaru

(LONG DELETED SCENE) Meanwhile, Kurayami is borne in Shikamaru's consciousness and THAT is the person that wakes up when Shikamaru finally comes to. He secures himself some Nagu blood, re-enters the portal and goes on the hunt for Shuken

(HUGE DELETED SCENE - hinted at in Genma's memories when he's talking to Tsunade) Shikamaru/Kurayami finds Shuken. He goes for Shuken like a heat-seeking missile, taking out mutants as he goes, unintentionally freeing Genma in the process, his shadows bringing chaos. He does damage. A lot of it. But in the last minute Naoki comes between Shuken and Shikamaru and gets Shuken's knife in the back. Shuken is out for the count after that. Naoki, knife in back, prioritises clamping his hands to Shikamaru's head, trying to shut down Kurayami and lock the alter away, as the whole building is coming down.

This was Naoki's last bid effort to try to save Shikamaru's mind by sealing off all the alters, knowing he didn't have time to integrate them.

Shocked Genma snaps into Kaika mode and gets his shit together, scooping up unconscious Shikamaru and running like a mo-fo with Naoki in tow

Naoki can't run any further, he falls and is bleeding out, tells Genma to run one last time and get the kid to safety, reminding him that Shikamaru can't be allowed to remember etc. Makes Genma swear an oath to him.

Though it costs him his heart, Genma does as he's told one final time. And it's too late to go back again after getting Shikamaru to safety at last. He believes Naoki is dead.

Phew! Sorry for that LONG list. I hope it clarifies for you those missing/deleted scenes, sweetie? Sorry again for any confusion. I own that as a big mistake on my part; sadly at the time, the mammoth wordcount and my runaway brain steamrolled ahead. In hindsight, I'd absolutely fix those gaps upon revision.

Aaa. Okay. I think I got most of my thoughts down so far. I'm sure I'll come back to gush some more, maybe ask some more.

You are most welcome to, luv. I am delighted and humbled by your interest and your huge support for my fic. Thank you for your patience with my response and thank you again, so, SO much for such an outstanding response to my insane contribution to the Naruto fandom.

I am grateful beyond measure and meant every single word I wrote you in that DM. I repeatedly revisit this review and I shall for as long as I write. 💗💗💗 Thank you.

[alchemiclee]

ayaka, plastic figure fix/repaint!

I decided I wanted to get into 3d figure painting because I have a huge urge to paint figures. I bought a resin printer and all the stuff that goes with 3d printing. I even joined a patreon/discord to get files for figures.

in the discord, someone posted their blog story of their process for repainting some cheap plastic figures. they advised it's a good way to practice when you first start out painting because these figures are cheaper than resin printing. I liked the ayaka figure they got, so I went to aliexpress to find one for myself.

if you're interested in their blog post, you can find it here. they go into more details than I do in some parts, if you're interested in that! (and more pictures since tumblr has a limit)

read my adventure below⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇

she came in the mail with a few broken pieces, but nothing a little super glue probably won't fix. (at the time of writing this, i'm realizing I forgot to purchase glue...) generally she's pretty decent for a cheap plastic bootleg of this impossible-to-get garage kit figure:

the painting inconsistencies are where I come in to get my practice. the broken pieces can be fixed later.

her bangs in the front are top long and cover her eyes so i'll have to figure out how to cut those. the hole for the umbrella is way too small, so I need to figure out how to fix that. but I will focus on painting first.

her eyes are the best painted part. I won't have to mess with those luckily haha. she is clearly supposed to have socks/tights on from the way the model is made and based on the original figure design. I need to paint the leggies! there's a few very small details on her clothes that need some extra added paint. there's some details missing like the little flowers which I will try to add. lastly, the umbrella is a plain blue blob. I plan to add some color and paint flowers onto it before I glue the broke rod back on.

first things she needs to be dismembered! plastic figures aren't the hardest to take apart, but is still a struggle, at least for me it was. in the blog post I shared above, the person used a welding heat tool to get her apart. I don't have anything like that, so I used hot water for the smaller parts (hair, ribbons, vision) and a hair dryer for the legs. you need to soften the plastic/melt the glue to pop things free! I held hair dryer on her butt against the connection point of the legs for 30-60 seconds on highest heat and lowest power, then wiggled the leggies until it cooled down. repeat a few more times until I could twist them and pop them free. unfortunately, the shoe wouldn't come off with either method, so I ended up having to cut it off with a knife. as long as I line it up and glue it on straight, it should be fine. hopefully 😅 the leggies were really stubborn, but with careful heating (while trying not to bend any of the super thin pieces, like the skirt. which also got heated up in the process) I managed to gently twist them off eventually.

the leggies!! they're free!!!!!

now she's ready for painting!

i did the first coat of paint on the legs and a few of the details on a twitch stream to try to test out a painting setup for future painting of figures, as well as test if my VOD tracking I tried to set up worked.....both kind of went wrong 😅 I also broke a few things along the way.

I tried to set up using a tripod with my DSLR camera for high quality video stream. I downloaded a thing enabling me to use it as a webcam. my large tripod was too big to fit in my tiny desk area, so I switched to a smaller tabletop one. somehow, the screw to that tripod broke off in my camera as I was screwing it on.....I have no clue how to remove it. I can no longer use a tripod 😭 I had to set my camera on my desk and have a side angle that made it hard to see anything I was doing on stream. I also had to keep my hands in one place when I like to move them around as I work. it was quite uncomfortable, haha.

the lighting I had set up was too bright, but it was my only option. it's a photography light box with its own built in lighting—very white and very bright. I folded the box so all the flaps were folded in except the one with the lights on it. I had that one sticking straight up at the back and placed a plastic cover over the folded part to paint on. it helped stream see and i could adjust the setting on my camera to keep it from being overexposed, but since my eyes don't have camera settings, I couldn't even tell where I was putting white paint because it was washing it out too much. when I inspected it in another light away from the overpowering white one, I realized I had more paint on it than I thought.

it wasn't the best setup, but it wasn't the worst. I added some silly little things on screen to make it more fun 😆

I managed to finish the first leg coat, do the little hair wrap things (not sure what their called. the white and gold things) and a couple small details on her clothing (fixed some of the gold lines for example because they weren't fully finished)

unfortunately, my VOD tracking didn't work so my video got dmca flagged and twitch decided it shouldn't be published so I decided to just delete it. my stream died after the first 20 minutes survived because my stream died and none of the music in that got flagged, but I didn't actually paint anything within that time because I was trying to make sure my setup was working decently. the painting lasted around 2 hours I believe. then my camera died!

I have decided not to stream the rest of her painting and do it in my spare time. I will work on fixing the VOD tracking. the camera setup is too much of a hassle and I can't charge it while it's in use. I didn't know what else to try until I found (and ordered) a cool overhead mini lamp that also holds your phone so I can basically have a movable desk light and/or use my phone as a webcam for streaming or record video for a time-lapse at the same time! so look forward to that!

between that first painting attempt and the next session, I got another figure in the mail. this one is a mini resin figure and I will have a separate post for her! (link soon)

back to painting ayaka.

my cool desk lamp came in the mail! you can find it here (not sponsored/affiliated! just like the cool lamp. i got the MINI version because small work area) i played with my streaming stuff and turns out they added an easier way to vod track the way i want, either before or after my failed attempt, i'm not sure. i found a way to stream my phone camera to my streamlabs! things are easy to set up for figure painting streams!

I added some details to her clothes and cleaned up some small spots. I added flowers and other small details to kind of match her original outfit. for some reason I decided to add some makeup to her. her mouth looked a little funny so I added some lip gloss and try to make her smile a little more. not sure if that came out well or not 😅 to finish, I did a thin layer of some blue in her hair to give the solid blobs of plastic some subtle variation and also slapped on some sparkly metallic paint to brighten it up a little.

the umbrella was way top plain, so I painted the under side pink and tried my best to paint cherry blossoms on top. i've never been top great at draeimg or painting flowers, so they're a little odd, but it's good enough.

I don't really care for the flowers that came with it, so I planned to add some mini fake flowers. in the end I decided to just use them as well instead of throwing them away, since I needed something to keep the fake flowers more stable. they are a decent filler. the fake paper flowers add a bit more to it, making it feel more full. I have more flowers coming in the mail, so I may add a but more.

I gave up on the plastic base she sits on that goes on the top of the glass. I couldn't get it to stay in place or stick to glue, so she's just sitting inside the glass now, directly on top the flowers, which actually makes her more stable!

I didn't go too adventurous for my first practice paint, but she's better than she was, and I learned a bit from this that I can now apply to 3d prints!

and she's now complete and ready to go live on my shelf!

[hilkaro]

The show is still on - Lynn Fate

triggering warnings: mentions of mutilation and self-mutilation, needles

Part one

I don't know for how long I drifted on the border of unconsciousness. It seemed to me like someone was carrying me, that I was moving, that I could feel someone's touch.

I had many dreams, but they were not pleasant dreams. I dreamed of teeth and pain, of a long red corridor with an endless number of doors on both sides, of cameras aimed directly at me like the barrel of a gun, of hands that touched my skin without permission, and of laughter that was not pleasant and joyful, but rather malicious and cruel.

I was abruptly awakened from my restless sleep by the touch of someone's cold hands. I felt pressure just above my elbow, and then a needle was plunged into my vein.

"Hnnnn..." I murmured, shifting slightly.

The dream was leaving me slowly, but one thought kept coming back, bringing me back to consciousness. No more drugs. I felt someone releasing my hand, and then I heard hurried footsteps and the faint creaking of a door. Once again, I was left alone.

I took a deep breath and struggled to open my only functioning eye. The light blinded me, and my eye immediately filled with tears, forcing me to blink them away. Finally, when my vision cleared, I looked around. I was lying in a bed (quite comfortable), covered with soft sheets (made of a very pleasant material for the skin) in a bright room. Sunlight streamed in through the partially open window (!!!), and the curtains swayed in the breeze.

Suddenly, the rest of the surroundings ceased to matter. A window! It meant that somehow I had escaped the cell! I felt a surge of excitement, but before I could fully embrace the feeling of incredible relief, I realized that none of this made sense. I raised myself slightly on my elbows. What had happened between the last show and now?...

I closed my eye and tried to piece together the events of the past few days in my mind. I remembered the first two shows perfectly, but the subsequent days were a blur of strange and vague images. Fox shooting nails at me, stars glowing in the dark, a campfire with the smell of roasting meat, and a knife. A knife that... I had plunged into my own abdomen.

I sank back onto the pillows, sweat beads forming on my forehead. I was still weak and sore, and my mind was a jumble.

Then I heard someone approaching the door. Each leisurely step was accompanied by the click of a heel. The handle moved, and I held my breath, filled with tension and anxiety. Fox entered the room. He was dressed in a black tailored suit, a steel-gray shirt unbuttoned at the neck, and a loosened tie. He looked like a businessman who had gone for a drink after a hard day at work. Except he still had a fox's tail and ears, which made him look rather extraordinary.

I'm not sure what I felt when I saw him, but it definitely showed on my face because as he closed the door, Fox chuckled softly.

"Guess you weren't expecting me, Lynn..."

I stared at him without a word, overwhelmed by fear, and he took off his jacket and hung it over the back of a chair, on which he gracefully sat, crossing one leg over the other.

"How are you feeling, darling?" he asked nonchalantly, as if this were the most ordinary situation in the world, as if he didn't see my terror and confusion.

I moistened my dry lips and shifted slightly on my elbows, subtly moving away from him. I wasn't sure if he noticed, but he didn't show it. His ears were perked up, and the tip of his tail wagged playfully, while his face maintained an expression of polite interest.

"I'm... I'm a bit sore and disoriented, but I'm okay," I replied, trying to smile, but my face refused to cooperate.

"If needed, we can increase your pain medication," Fox said, leaning in to adjust my pillows, and I instinctively pulled back. Again, he didn't react to my reflexes. He gently helped me sit up, and then returned to his seat.

"No, no more drugs," I quickly responded.

He raised an eyebrow slightly but nodded. "Don't worry, you're under my care now, and I'm personally ensuring you receive the best medical attention."

He settled back in his chair and leaned in my direction, slowly letting his amber eyes roam over my face, neck, and shoulders. I shrank under his gaze.

"Tell me what you remember," he demanded.

I averted my gaze for a moment to collect my thoughts. Then I took a deep breath and looked at him timidly.

"I was kidnapped and was supposed to be sold at an auction you were running, but I begged you to take me with you, which you did," I began, pausing because I felt my face contorting involuntarily. It was not a good decision. It was a mistake that would haunt me for the rest of my life. Fox stared at me intensely, his elbows resting on the edge of my bed, closing the distance between us. He nodded for me to continue. I swallowed hard. "You made me call you Fox, but that's not your real name," I said bitterly. "You forced me to participate in your show, where on the first day, I lost an eye..."

I reached up and touched the bandage covering half of my face. The corners of his mouth twitched slightly, but his expression remained unchanged, still polite, and his eyes followed my every movement with keen interest.

"Then there was the second show... which I remember perfectly..." but I didn't want to talk about it because just thinking about it made me feel hot "...and the third, the last one, which I don't remember."

I put my hands on my lap and started to pick at my fingernails because of my growing anxiety. Fox noticed this and covered my hands with his. I shivered, even though his skin was pleasantly warm.

"I thought you would kill me... Or that you would force me to do it myself," I said softly, my voice filled with tears, lowering my head to hide my face in my hair. I didn't want him to see me in this state, feeling weak and lost.

He sighed softly. "Yes, that was the plan, but I changed my mind." His thumb traced a slow circle on my knuckles. "You turned out to be too valuable for me to sacrifice."

I lifted my head in surprise, and he gently pushed my bangs away from my face and tucked them behind my ear. It felt like my heart had stopped beating for a moment, and he continued, "I decided to keep you for myself."

I looked at him, not fully comprehending. Keep me? I was about to ask when someone knocked softly on the door.