#and i'm super caffeinated
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BENLUND I'M SUSPICIOUS
[go answer him!]
not to fully go all tinhat CONTINUATION on main [even tho i don't think it qualifies as tinhatting since literally the whole cast is basically shouting in our faces that it's happening at some point]
if anyone in this fandom has more experience as a screenwriter pls weigh in because i haven't needed to care about it in about a decade BUT i remember when i took a spec writing class [scripts you write to basically audition to be on a writing staff] i remember being told to watch episodes of said show that you think "set the mood, tone, and depth of the show" like literally my teacher told me that.
idk why he's so adamant on only SIX and ideally, any spec writer should watch as many as they can so idk if he's really asking "for a friend" or if he's asking for a studio exec or if he's asking for writers he's interested in to watch these episodes and then write a spec script but --
i don't think this is just... "oh my friend wants to watch SPN" because why is the number so specific and usually you just show your friend the series from the beginning, not jump around, you know?
Anyway.
What are you cooking, benlund?
#spn spec#wow it's been fucking literal years since i used that tag wow#i'm probably just super duper hyper right now bc it's the start of my day#and i have my adhd meds and caffeine cranked to high but
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Cringetober Prompt 2: Tsundere Had Steins;Gate on my mind a lot recently so here is a Kurisu Makise.
#steins;gate is complicated for me to recommend because while I feel like the time travel plot elements were super interesting#it suffers from a lot of typical 2010 anime tropes (transmisogyny male gaze fixation and slightly uncomfy romanticized age gaps)#basically the typical stuff that most 2010 animes had going for them#nonetheless it is a bit of a nostalgic show from when I was in high school and I always thought makise was cool#I tried to make her look more tired lmao#she is a child prodigy in grad school I'm thinking she started her caffeine addiction young yk her ass is not sleeping#cringetober#cringetober 2024#steins;gate#makise kurisu#fanart#my art#moth art
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yeah no i refuse to believe that 170+ people have now successfully done all their remote learning course completions + tradesperson business license renewals on my stupid god damn web app.
#but like. that is actually a demonstrably true fact. i'm looking at the database now.#but like! it is a fact that SHOULD NOT BE.#insert guy in corner of party meme like do they know this thing was coded in like four 36hr caffeine stress delirium fugue states#at some point i knowingly launched a version of the live beta with one feature that was just a loading spinner that did nothing.#because i ran out of time and it was like a super rare use case feature.#so i was like alright ok 9 out of 10 chance no one reports this for like a week at which point i can have the finished version ready.#(i confessed this to coworker recently lolol. I WAS CORRECT AT THE TIME & WAS NEVER CAUGHT.)
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not me dropping everything as soon as my friend texted me about there being pokemon leaks today w a pic of early zigzagoon sprite. i love zigzagoon sm
#pokemon leaks#rambles#i haven't had time to look at all the details of it but omg the sprites and old art raaahhhh#I'm also super wired rn#caffeine to study#rahhh#akfldsjgh#also i took a nap when i shouldnt have
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When are we getting more puppy hybrid content? Buddy has my heart. 😭😔
Honestly, being really v u l n e r a b l e right now, I've got five partially finished stories in my drafts, and finally went grocery shopping after a thirteen hour nap, we are not alright babes ✨
But I will make more soft boys, puppy hybrids, subby yanderes, and the more, I just can't give a concrete answer on when ❤️
#please don't hate me#the struggle is real#bills gotta get paid#the money is not flowing rn#had time to write and my brain said#no ❤️#I'm super sorry#the caffeine ain't working lol#and i keep making bad decisions#❤️
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It was so easy for me to quit drinking when I found I was pregnant (well. Actually it sucked but I just decided to quit and succeeded, I wasn't wrestling with myself every day about it) I think bc it felt like an externally imposed boundary. I've always adapted well to circumstances but fail to embody my own expectations of myself. Or manifest them, idk I'm a little stoned soz. We went to a wedding on Saturday and a party yesterday so it was a weekend of heavier than usual drinking and I've had hangxiety all day. I committed to 2 weeks without alcohol bc I need a break and I hope it's enough time to make me feel better so I just stick with it honestly
#the lack of like dopamine stimulation or something makes me super sleepy when i quit#and caffeine doesn't rly energize me anymore#idk it sucks bc i'm tired as fuck all the time but i can't afford to be that way i have shit to do#makes it harder to take a break but i must
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send help. it's supposed to be 91 degrees tomorrow. on my day off :(
#a sock speaks#work tag#food tag#it was high 80s today but I didn't even notice bc the air conditioner at restaurant job is punishingly high powered#I was wearing my long sleeved undershirt and leggings without any discomfort#but I have to run errands tomorrow and my car has no AC. the house also has no AC but is okayish at staying cool.#I wanted to make pizza today but didn't have time. might be too hot for pizza tomorrow :( but my ingredients are aging in the fridge#I finally got a paycheck but it's for the 2nd period I worked. I'm missing the first one and need to talk with the regional manager#and he's only in on Thursdays#also gotta request a day off to go to Portland with my cousin in 2 weeks#also gotta request off for orchestra which also starts in 2 weeks#also my aunt is trying to recruit me for a caregiving job and I'd have to take 3 weeks off to get trained#it'd be super easy to schedule both jobs once I'm trained but the training is a big time commitment#also restaurant job scheduled me for all graveyard shifts this week. if I can't adjust my sleep schedule I'll have to give a firm no on it#also gotta go to the bank to deposit my check and. uh. all of August's tips (terrifying)#also gotta call a vital records office in Maine about my mom's birth certificate bc we're trying to take her to Canada for her birthday#I don't think we have enough time but my sister wants to do it#also I want to finish knitting this sock that I started in June. I just have the toe left#also I finally confirmed the color and pattern for a baby blanket I'm preparing as a gift so I gotta get yarn#also I need to buy blackout curtains to fit my windows so I can sleep in the day if I work nights#also sometime this week my sister is cleaning the church. I want to go with her so I have an excuse to get ice cream from a shop nearby#also I need to clean my room and I should hang up the art prints & postcards I've been collecting for months#most of them are green to match my decor but some are just characters or scenes I like#oh! I also owe a postcard to a school friend#I had caffeine for the first time in several days and my brain is buzzing. there's so much I want to do and I have time to do it#and I'm excited about it!
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The little comic with Night I was working on somehow ended up helping me create an amazing villain OC but I have literally no idea what she looks like or what her name is or even what type of Mobian she is but she's super amazing and also completely terrifying. She doesn't even actually show up in the comic except as part of the context for it but idk I really want to do stuff with her now.
#she's super existential and darkly philosophic and it's gonna be awesome#once i actually create a design and stuff for her I'm gonna make a long rambly post#also i had caffeine recently so my brain is absolutely buzzing and creating more and more stuff about her faster than i can process#anyways#sonic oc#my ocs#sonic next gen
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caffeine I love and loathe you
#i promise there will be fewer of these posts soon; i'm in my final two weeks of break#but afdjkhsfhjk second cup of coffee was a MISTAKE#I was travelling and needed a boost#got TOO MUCH of a boost#just had a meeting with the head of the organisation i'm joining#and it went well! super well. but I am excited to start okay and quite enthusiastic#because ngl I whole heart everything I do#which is both good and bad#but i'm legit excited about this new career shift#and that definitely came out ahahah#i'm professional#and#honestly enthusiastic about things#problematic trait? maybe? or the opposite? i hope?#anyway. it went well.#but caffeine is the devil#can we just#fast forward two weeks#so I can do something with this energy#tmi
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ok job interview prep is officially over for the day. i need to prepare my set list for karaoke tonight
#i have decided i HAVE to sing super trouper#also wanna have a bcs moment and sing the winner takes it all but that song is harder lmao#me and the guy i met thursday talked about singing silver springs but there was alcohol involved in that discussion lmao#can you imagine going to a karaoke night. drinking some alcohol. having some laughs. singing goofy songs. etc#then these two fuckers get up and just start singing silver springs lmao#if i were going to sing any non-dreams fleetwood mac song i think i'd want to sing seven wonders#idk. we shall see#i'm gonna be so sad when i have a job again and can't stay out until 2am singing karaoke anymore#i'm still gonna go but i'm either gonna have to go home early or get addicted to caffeine again lmao#m.txt
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LLIVVV what do you put in your greens smoothies?
i don't have a recipe or anything bc it depends on what i have on hand. as a rule i try to keep it mostly veggies w strategic fruit choices to overwrite the veggie taste—something like pineapple or blueberries are very sweet but u don't need to use a lot of them to cover up the flavour!! today i just put celery, spinach, lime juice, unflavoured protein powder, water n some frozen fruit (i think it was a mango/pineapple/peach blend bc it was all yellow but i could be mistaken) and it was like a 6/10 but did the job!!
#liv got mail#ofc i love when things r yummy but on a day like today i'm not super picky honestly!!#bc it's just an easy method of consuming food so that i don't get all the way to evening running only on caffeine and spite
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Song of the Day: December 13
"Blue Healer" by Birdtalker
#song of the day#I'm sick and I'm trying not to be too sulky about it and this is a good 'don't be sulky' song for me#which is probably a little shallow really because it's a much deeper song than that#but also I have a cold and I wanna be all >:(( and I don't feel like being deep today#so I'm going to sing my little song about learning and growing and healing even though my voice is croaky gross#and I'm gonna drink my tea (dude. shoutout to the Daimyo tea blend by Kelsey Grinnan at adagio.com this tea fuckin slaps#it's like if spicy hot chocolate was actually a high-caffeine tea and I didn't have to do any standing and stirring to make it. magic)#and I'm gonna reread 'One Good Knight' by Mercedes Lackey and then I'm going to take a super hot shower and sleep for more than four hours
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thinking about going back to being vegetarian again then i remember oh right Im moving again and i fuck SO hard with clam chowder
#Saying pescaterian is cringe ig I'll just stay doing what i do now which is saying i don't eat a lot of meat/don't like meat#Which is true#Also living with my mom she keeps telling me im so healthy it's like not really lol#I think she eats a lot less meat with me than normal tho bc i like. Rlly don't like chicken#I didn't even realize but she made this beans and rice thing that normally had sausage w/out it for me...#Idk it's weird cuz we eat out more than I'm used to bc here for 4mo or whatever#And it's rlly made me feel super picky#Cuz im like ok i don't wanna eat that it'll make me feel like this or bad in this way#Don't like to have much too much sugar cuz i think it triggers migraines tho I love sugar and it's more about it being spread out#Than the amount I think#Can't have caffeine in the afternoon#And so on#Idk like being not in my own makes me feel like i have so many more rules than I thought#Or am maybe just picky?#Bc like I do eat a lot bc i run a lot food is fuel and all that. It's just more like... What#Anyway#Food mention
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i love walking the line when i consume caffeine of "this will give you a boost to make it through the day without sleeping and it's fine and good" as a person with tired person disease that needs things to fill in in the times i don't have access to my stimulant and "this will not wake you up but will make you be unable to sit still even worse and you will feel like you are dying" as a person with can't sit still disease and also bad heart rate and bad balance disease
#it is always a crapshoot#on my mind because i'm chugging some of the super caffeine lemonade at panera and uuuhhh it's hitting and not in a good way#“do not consume if you have conditions affected by caffeine”#what if i have multiple conditions affected by caffeine <333#luckily in a 'very annoying' way and not a 'fatal' way#catch me doing breathing exercises at my little table in panera lmao
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Bitches will have twice their usual amount of caffeine after lunchtime and then wonder why they feel like they're fending off psychic attacks
It's me. I'm bitches
#I dont know why my body processes caffeine this way#I get both super tired and ridiculously anxious and then just fixate on any little negativity#regardless of how it actually affects me (ie. secondhand discourse from communities I'm not even IN)#it is HELL
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i have always been and will always be utterly fucking insane. help
#she bork#tbd#i am so so so so anxious and idk why!!!!! we found a house just need to get two of our roommates subleased from their apartments so it's not#the house hunt and i've stopped worrying about grad school as well since there's no use worrying about all the ifs and pros and cons when#idek if i'll get accepted in the first place so i don't think it's that either. idk i'm just like off the chain like i was putting up ad at#work literally thee MOST low-pressure activity imaginable and i was like about to have a panic attack like why!!!!!! i've had like three#cups of green tea which is caffeinated but not heavily so like probably the equivalent of two cups of coffee so it shouldn't be affecting me#like this. work is also stressful rn bc we keep rolling freight due to call ins so maybe that? i have no idea i just know i want to throw up#lmfao. idk maybe i'm not getting enough vitamin d bc i'm already deficient and daylight savings time has reeeeaaally cut down on my sun#exposure not to mention the weather has been super cloudy so maybe it's that. or maybe the idea of so much change at once is scaring me even#though it seems like it's all gonna work out and ik that it will bc it always does but change is just scary. so maybe that. regardless i#wish i would just fucking calm down i'm miserable
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