#and i'm pissed that it took things actually happening and getting bad for a lot of y'all to finally believe us

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

I didn't want to update this post, but I'm doing it anyway, and it's long. Be glad I'm putting a "Keep Reading".

The point of this post isn't that your local fascist can be anyone. The point of this post is that y'all can't recognize dangerously bigoted rhetoric for love or money. The point is that the people who have been raised to know when things are getting dangerous have been sounding the alarm bells for... I don't even know how long. I heard the first alarms in 2018 with Marjorie Taylor Greene's antisemitic dogwhistle-filled Facebook post about space lasers causing wildfires, and people have only gotten more vocal about what they've been seeing since then. We have been getting very loud, and a lotta y'all haven't been listening or have been falling headfirst into the rhetoric yourselves - your bigotry isn't righteous just because you believe in universal healthcare or whatever.

You can read all you want about Hitler's rise to power, or Mussolini, or any other of the I-don't-even-know-how-many authoritarian regimes, but that doesn't do jack shit unless you understand the rhetoric and when it goes from off color remarks to blaming a country's problems on groups of people. Bigotry is baked into the fucking foundations, and a lotta y'all know it but can't recognize it.

The point isn't that the sweet old lady who runs the community center can also be a rabid bigot and still be a bastion of goodness in the community, it's that some of us have been taught that it doesn't matter what that sweet old lady does once she mentions offhandedly how she wishes conversion therapy wasn't so looked down on anymore, or how the Jews have all the money, or how killing disabled people isn't a bad thing because they don't contribute to society. But no one listens when we point out that, with those beliefs unmasked even once, her being in charge of the community center is dangerous. Does that make sense? It doesn't matter who's saying what or whether you agree with them on other things or how nice they are if they say something like that and you know what they mean.

And a lot of us have been saying just that. Yet, now that the worst is happening, all the people who wanted to write us off are posting their revelations as if all of us thought Nazis and other rabid bigots were a mythical big-bad instead of the people who murdered our families and would gladly shoot us dead right along with them.

“I never understood how the Nazis rose to power until this year-“ don’t say that like we’re all in that position. Some of us have always known how it happened because we never had the luxury to not understand

[genericpuff]

wait wait wait, regarding that Minthe post, you're telling me that Rachel literally wrote the character as having BPD.....and portrayed her as an abusive mean piece of shit??? WOW. fucking WOW. sorry for being so angry, but even if she "retconned" that - it's still so god damn disrespective. as someone who has BPD it hurts so much to see my mental illness villanised :(

ugh I'm so sorry pal. and I don't blame you for being angry about it, like I don't even have BPD and I'M fucking pissed LOL like I can understand why Rachel might have wanted to backtrack from that knowing fully well that Minthe's story wasn't gonna have a happy ending, but writing her with BPD in the first place and then BACKTRACKING from it as soon as she likely got heat for it (or just realized it wasn't a good look) isn't much better because it means now all she's done is written the stigmatized negative effects of BPD into her character without showing the more positive outlooks of healing and managing. Maybe that was doomed to happen considering Minthe is someone who doesn't get a happy ending in the myths, but it begs the question of why she'd write her with BPD to begin with because in hindsight it really does seem like she just wanted to use it as a way to make her "evil".

But like, when you read the actual episode, you can SEE the potential there for character growth, you can SEE that she's aware of her actions - but doesn't understand why she's "like that" which is a VERY common feeling among people with undiagnosed mental illnesses - but it was never meant to be.

Like jfc not only is it HEAVILY IMPLIED, but again, the episode is literally called "Splitting". And we see exactly that with Minthe, who can't seem to rationalize with herself that she messed up.

But... that leads me to another point that I failed to mention in that first ask response: she DIDN'T mess up. Like, yes, she messed up by escalating it to the point of slapping Hades, but it wasn't her fault that she didn't make it to her date with Hades. Whose fault was it?

Continuously throughout the first season we see Thetis being an awful influence who manipulates and gaslights Minthe. They're "friends", but it's clear Thetis does not have Minthe's best interests in mind. In this very scene we see Thetis manipulate Minthe and even attempt to get her so drunk that she won't be able to show up to her date. And then of course when that plan works and Minthe freaks out, Thetis spins it around on Minthe in a very passive-aggressive way.

But of course, the narrative has to find a way to turn this whole thing on Minthe being the bad guy. Hence we get the slap which shifts the focus entirely away from what led up to it back onto Hades who has, in a lot of ways, put her in a situation that she can't control. And of course, being in those kinds of situations does not help with mental health.

Like, sorry, I'm really going off here now, but... the slap happens in Episode 76.

When is it finally addressed again? Episode 103.

It took Rachel nearly THIRTY EPISODES to finally bring it back to Minthe, and in that time the reader has spent SEVERAL EPISODES reading about how sad and lonely Hades is, and about how cute and lovey he is with Persephone. The reader has not had ANY time to reflect on Minthe's circumstances, because it completely pivots away from her to focus on H x P as a sort of distraction from the fact that Minthe is a victim in her own right.

And when it DOES return to Minthe in 103, we get this harrowing reminder that her entire life is dependent on Hades-

And once again, here comes Thetis to the "rescue", reinforcing the negative feedback loop that Minthe is trapped in where she's put in unhealthy situations. She drags her to a bar and the whole time Minthe is not having fun because she's understandably still reeling from what happened.

Now we DO get some character development here, where Minthe realizes exactly what I've just finished explaining, that Thetis isn't her friend, that she'd rather not have Thetis as a friend than continue being talked down to and manipulated.

But then, as we know, because Rachel still needs Minthe to be the "bad guy", the breakup between Hades and Minthe winds up being all about Persephone from a POV that attempts to villainize Minthe for being "jealous" (rather than focusing on how shitty Hades actually is for having an emotional affair with Persephone to begin with) and then Minthe goes right back to hanging out with Thetis anyways for the sake of having the "evil other girl" who wants to "ruin" H x P's relationship.

It's not until Season 3 that we finally see Minthe tell Thetis to fuck off for good, but by then it's too little too late, and Minthe has lost an entire character arc. Rachel tries to go "see! Minthe's life is so much better now that she's taking care of children!" but that's an entirely different solution to a problem Minthe never had. She never got treatment for her BPD. She just got away from H x P which, while is a good thing, isn't actually analyzed as such. It's treated more as a "good thing" for H x P and the readers, because now they don't have to be subjected to Minthe's evil scheming anymore, something something "the evil is defeated". And don't even get me started on this comic's problem with constantly resolving female characters' story arcs through motherhood.

It bums me out so fucking much. Minthe deserved so much better. She's one of the many characters in LO who make it so painfully ironic when they're done dirty, because despite Rachel's attempts to write a "feminist retelling" that focuses on "moving on from trauma", she's inadvertently done more damage to feminism and the stigmas around mental health and trauma through her assassination of grounded and realistic and relatable characters like Minthe and Demeter who are shown ZERO empathy or understanding for their actions (unless it can be done so by making Persephone and Hades into the heroes). It happens so often throughout the comic it almost feels like how the comic markets itself as a "progressive feminist retelling" is some sick joke that I'm just not getting.

[morganwrites12672]

Abandon

Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary: After the worst fight he's ever had with his father, Sam goes to the only person he can for comfort.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: ANGST. John is a piece of shit. Arguing. Crying. Daddy issues.

A/N: Have fun crying!

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Whenever Sam had finally gotten back from visiting her, he hadn't expected Dean and John to be waiting up for him in the small living room of the motel. He awkwardly shrugged off his jacket before tossing it over the back of the couch.

He could feel his father's eyes burning into his skin. John must be pissed off about something. It seemed like Sam couldn't do anything without upsetting the older man. His good mood vanished.

"You have something you want to tell me?" John asked, and Sam just knew. He knew exactly what John meant. There was nothing else that would have his father looking this pissed.

Sam swallowed thickly, he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. He looked between Dean and John. John looked pissed, his fists clenched, his jaw tight. Dean looked different. He looked almost happy, he looked satisfied. A smug smirk tugged at Dean's lips.

Dean was convinced that John was going to fix everything. He thought that his father would be able to fix this. Once all of this was over, Sam would stay. Everything would work out. If only Dean didn't put so much blind trust into his father. Maybe then he would have realized what would actually happen.

"No sir."

Sam knew that his father wouldn't be satisfied with this response. No, the older man would be pissed off. Nothing Sam said would make it right. No matter what he did his father would still probably lose his shit. This was going to be an argument from Hell.

"Don't you fucking lie to me!" John growled. He pulled something out of his pocket, a letter. Not just any letter though. The letter. Sam's acceptance letter for Stanford.

"How-" Sam didn't get to finish his sentence.

"You applied for Stanford," John said. It was a statement, not a question. The evidence was quite literally being gripped in John's hand.

Sam's nerves coiled in his gut, ready to explode. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest. This argument was the very thing that Sam had wanted to avoid at all costs. He wasn't quite sure how he had planned to avoid it though. Telling John might have made it better rather than the older man figuring it out, or being told by someone else.

"I'm going," Sam blurted, standing up a little straighter. He wouldn't keep letting his father walk all over him. He would go to Stanford. After everything he had sacrificed for other people, he would do this for himself. Hunting could wait a few years.

"I just want to-" For the second time that night, John cut Sam off.

"Like hell you are! I won't let you abandon this family," John snapped as he stood. He slammed the letter down onto the table. He couldn't believe the way Sam was speaking. "Would you really do that? Would you really abandon your brother and I?"

"No. Dad listen, I am going to Stanford!" Sam shouted back at John. He wasn't abandoning Dean or his father. No, he was just trying to go to college.

"It's that damn whore," John sneered. It didn't matter that he was talking about his friends daughter, he was also talking about the girl who he thought had been a bad influence on Sam. "She's been putting all of these ideas into your head. She-"

It was Sam's turn to cut John off. Hearing his father talk about her that way made Sam's blood boil. He took a steadying breath. Just yelling at his father wouldn't do any good. He needed to be somewhat logical. Though, he struggled to think of anything decent to say after what he had heard his father call her.

Dean was watching everything go down. Now that he'd seen how this argument was going he might have a few regrets. He'd seen Sam and his father argue, a lot. It had never been this bad though. Hearing what his father had to say about her though, that made Dean regret everything. Being around her was the happiest Dean had ever seen his brother. He couldn't believe that his father would insult her like that. She wasn't a bad influence on Sam, not in the slightest.

"Don't call her that," Sam said through a clenched jaw. "She has done nothing wrong! It was my idea to apply for Stanford. I am not abandoning this family! I'm going to college!"

"Don't you fucking come back! If you aren't going to do the job, and be apart of this family, don't you ever come back," John snarled.

Sam's expression changed in an instant. He felt his chest tighten, panic spreading throughout his body. He knew by looking at johns face that his father wasn't kidding.

Sam grabbed his jacket, the letter from Stanford, and his laptop case before walking out the door. He had a lump in his throat as he walked down the row of motel room doors. Looking around the parking lot, he was thankful that it was empty.

"Sammy! Wait!" Dean yelled, running out of the motel room door after his younger brother. He was panicking at this point. Things weren't supposed to end like this. He couldn't believe that Sam would leave like this.

"Don't call me that," Sam snapped at his brother, not bothering to turn around. "Leave me the hell alone Dean."

The older Winchester brother stopped in his tracks. He had fucked up, everything had went wrong. It was too late now. Sam had clearly made up his mind. There was nothing Dean would be able to do to stop his brother.

Sam walked. And he just kept walking. His jacket protected him from the ice cold gushes of wind blowing. He walked towards the only place he had left to go; her house. She was his escape. He needed her, right now especially.

The disgusting words that John had spoke of her made Sam's blood boil. He walked faster. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket, hiding them away from the brisk cold.

She was the best part of his day. Hearing his father call her that, and the way the older man talked about her made him sick. She deserved so much better. She didn't do anything wrong. No, the opposite. She made everything better.

The thought of her smile was only able to hinder the tears building up for so long. Sam only walked faster. His long, gangly legs could only carry him so fast though.

The walk to her house didn't take long. Sam practically ran. His eyes had long ago welled up with tears, he sniffled as he finally spotted her house. He walked up to the front porch and hesitated. It was late. What if her parents answered instead of her?

He didn't knock on the door. Instead, he sent her a quick text asking if she could open the front door for him. He prayed to anything out there that might listen to him that she was still awake. He wouldn't risk her parents coming to the door, even if he knew that they wouldn't be upset.

His tear stained cheeks glimmered in the moonlight. He wiped at his cheeks with the sleeve of his jacket, trying to hide some of the tears from view. However, he knew that the second she opened the door that she would know. It would be impossible for her not too.

She could take one look at Sam and read him like a god-damn book. It was nice to be understood like that. Dean and his father had never actually listened to him about anything. He felt like an outsider. He don't feel anywhere near like that around her.

His train of thought was interrupted as he heard the click of a deadbolt sliding open. The front door creaked open. Standing in the doorway, there she was. Her pajama pants hung low on her hips, exposing a small section of her waist before her tank top covered the rest of her skin up. She looked tired as hell, yet she still gave Sam a gentle smile.

She stepped aside wordlessly, letting Sam into the house. Her eye brows drew together in concern as she noticed his tear stained cheeks. As Sam stepped inside, she quickly (and quietly) shut the door. The dead bolt snapped into place.

As she turned around she noticed that Sam had already began walking to her bedroom. Her house was more like a home to Sam than any other place. He did spend a lot of time here. Not that her parents minded.

Her parents loved Sam. They had always welcomed him in with open arms. And, they ignored all of the times they caught Sam sleeping over. They just appreciated that their daughter was spending time with someone her age. Having such a an odd lifestyle made it difficult to maintain friendships.

Whenever she walked into her bedroom, Sam was already sitting on her bed. His head was titled downwards, his eyes seemed to be locked on her rug. She noticed that he had discarded his shoes and jacket already. His jacket hung on the back of her desk chair, and his shoes sat in the corner of her room.

She sat next to Sam and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He shuddered beneath her touch. More tears burned at his eyes and he fought to keep the emotion out of his voice as he spoke

"H-he found out," Sam whispered in a fragile voice. With anyone else he would have cringed at how vulnerable he sounded. He sniffled again, trying to prevent the tears from pouring down his cheeks again.

Her heart dropped. She was suddenly wide awake. That was the worst possible thing that could happen. She still remembered how excited Sam had been to show her his acceptance letter. All of that excitement had been ruined by John.

"Oh my God. . . Sam-"

"I'm still going to S-Stanford," He looked up at her as a few tears finally escaped down his cheeks. "My dad. . . my dad told me not to come back."

She didn't hesitate before pulling him into a tight hug. It was awkward since they were both sitting down but she didn't care in the slightest. Sam broke down in her arms. Hot tears poured down his cheeks.

"It's going to be okay, you're going to be okay." Her voice was gentle, the polar opposite to how his father had spoken to him earlier.

It was moments like this that made Sam realize how lucky he was to have her. He wouldn't know what to do without her. Especially tonight. His heart has been brutally ripped apart by his father, now she would work on helping him pick up the pieces.

They were always there for each other. It was something that could be so very simple that most people didn't notice it. The way that Sam would subconsciously reach for her anytime things went South, the way she always seemed to find her way into Sam's arm after a case or fight with her parents, the way she always made sure Sam had somewhere to go.

And yet, the two had stuck with the title of best friends. Neither one of them wanted to change it much, not yet anyway. There might have been occasional thoughts that definitely weren't the kind you thought about friends though.

Her warm touch brought Sam back to the present moment. It reminded him that things didn't have to be so bad. He might have lost his father, and maybe even Dean too, but he still had her.

"You can stay here until you leave for Stanford."

Sam' head jerked up. That was months away. He had planned to- he actually didn't know what he had planned to do. He would have figured something out though. No matter how hard it was.

Sam cleared his throat, "No, I can't ask your parents to do that."

"Too bad," She retorted. "You live with us until you leave for Stanford." Her voice was firm and left no room for argument.

Her parents would understand. They always did. Even if her father and John were friends, she knew that her mother would be able to persuade her father into letting Sam stay with them. Her mother was good at doing that. Nobody could say no to that woman.

"Thank you," Sam whispered. He then rubbed his eyes, wiping away the tear streaks. It would never make sense to Sam. He couldn't believe that she cared about him this much. He was a black sheep with his family. He was the one who caused problems and didn't belong. He didn't feel that way here. He felt just as much apart of the family as she actually was.

The two fell into a comfortable silence. She kept her arms wrapped around Sam. He felt like her arms were the only thing holding him together. His own father had just kicked him out! Sam couldn't believe that Dean had shown the letter. It hurt.

None of that mattered right now. He couldn't go back in time to fix things. He had to live with everything that had just happened. He had to figure it out.

Maybe things wouldn't be so bad. He could get through anything with her by his side.

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A/N: The biggest thanks to @tranquilitybasegrunge and @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles for beta reading parts of this for me!

Tag List: @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @aidansloth @jaredpadonlyyyy @zeppette @moonl1ghtsworld @tranquilitybasegrunge

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[cassiebones]

Character Analysis: Rio Vidal

(because Aubrey Plaza currently has a chokehold on my psyche)

It hasn't been confirmed on the show, but we all know that Rio is Death, correct? They're not even being subtle about it, so I'm gonna take it from that angle.

Okay, so Rio is ageless. She prefers to take the form of Aubrey Plaza because Aubrey is a hot motherfucker. Agreed? Okay.

I have no idea when she would have come into existence, only because I have no idea the nature of Death in this universe. Is she one of many deaths? She must be, because people die all over and she has enough free time to build this hate/love relationship with Agatha, whom she finds the second the Darkhold stops hiding her.

I think she may specifically be Death for witches. She ferries magical humans to the other side, and has done since magic was first invented.

She was never a child, never a newborn. She was fully grown and cognizant from her inception, born knowing what her job was for her entire life. She existed in ancient times, seen by many mortals as different gods/goddesses. She took the shapes they'd already imagined her to have. She was Anubis, Hades, Shinigami, Osiris, Hecate, Charon...whom were all different entities, but she took their forms to bring comfort to the recently departed.

I feel like Rio had a lot of empathy for the first thousand or so years of doing this job. She listened to life stories as she ferried magical beings to their next journeys. She learned about society, about expectations, about why one might choose not to stay on the mortal coil, or why one might be taken from it by force.

She comforted the ones reticent to leave their physical bodies. She held the hands of too many young witches, taken too soon because of the fear that surrounded them. That's who she had the most empathy for: young, misunderstood witches.

Her empathy fades as humanity progresses. Witches are still persecuted, but many of them get on her nerves. They think so highly of themselves. They think they Death owes them something, that they deserve a second chance at life.

Nobody gets a second chance at life.

And while it's her job, she starts to kind of resent it. The spirits that won't leave piss her off. They disturb the living as often as they can and Rio gets blamed for it. This is why she hates ghosts.

But there's nothing she can do.

And then she meets Agatha. Agatha who is young and powerful and so scared when they first meet. Agatha, who has just caused the deaths of her entire coven. Agatha, who didn't mean to cause so much destruction; she just needs to be properly taught.

So Rio teaches her. I think they would have this kind of relationship where Rio fosters Agatha's talents, where she takes Agatha to places where she can be as destructive with her magic as she wants and nobody will judge or demonize her. And every time Agatha masters a spell or gives Rio that super proud smile, Rio falls a little more in love with her.

She revitalizes Rio's love for her job. And it's not like it's Agatha's fault that other witches keep attacking her. And it's not like she can truly control that siphoning thing every time it happens. It just is what it is.

Agatha feels bad the first time it happens, too. But then she takes on Rio's logic of "well, they shouldn't have done that then," and all is well.

Agatha is alive and safe and Rio gets more bodies to ferry, more work. She actually really loves her work, especially because it means she gets to spend more time with Agatha, who just can't stop getting attacked for some reason...

There are rules to her job, of course.

First and most important rule: Death cannot kill. It is a conflict of interest. It wouldn't be very fair to give herself more bodies to ferry. Soon enough, there would be none left. In theory, at least. It's like insider trading, in a way.

Another one: Death cannot bring back life to one who has died. That is also not fair, and it's actually not even something she can do. She isn't Life; she's Death.

And: Death must ferry souls as soon as possible to the other life. Souls that linger too long become ghosts and it gets harder for them to cross over. It's considered a failure on her part when a Spirit becomes a Ghost.

She regrets ferrying Nicholas. That was her son, too. I will entertain no other theories. She loved that kid. She was just as much his mother as Agatha was. She knew how much it would hurt Agatha, but she also knew that she couldn't allow Nicky to become a ghost. It would be a torturous existence for them both. And if Agatha had her way and reanimated his body, forcing his soul to remain there, it would be so much worse.

It is her biggest regret and the only scar she has.

She doesn't have to lick wounds to heal them. That's just something she does for Agatha. Agatha either doesn't know this or doesn't fight it. I cannot even decide which one is funnier.

Rio is more than her job, though.

She is also a bottom.

Only for Agatha.

Moving on.

When Agatha uses the Darkhold to disappear, whatever beacon spell they'd had on each other since practically the beginning of their courtship is interrupted. She cannot find Agatha. She cannot even see Agatha, not even if she was two inches from her own face. Agatha makes it so they never run into each other, no matter whom she kills.

And then Wanda gets the Darkhold and it's like a fire alarm blaring in Rio's ear. She goes immediately to Agatha's side.

Yes, immediately. You know that was not a three-season delusion that Wanda put her under. "Agnes" had many, many different TV shows running through the spellbound mind. She just wasn't broken out of it until Teen got there.

Herb was so nonchalant about her little "true crime bug" that there had to have been several different medical series, soap operas, firefighter shows, other cop shows, comedies, home improvement shows, reality shows (The Real Housewives of West View?), and a mockumentary or two that came before it.

And Rio was a guest star in all of them, willing Agatha to just wake up. But Agatha didn't recognize her. She just knew that she hated her, in every single mind show. She just hated Rio Vidal.

And Rio was just in a hell of her own making, trying desperately to break Agatha out but not knowing how.

She loves this woman so much. All the threats to kill her and telling others where to find her? Foreplay. I can totally see them trolling each other as they ran around New England, pointing fingers at one another, calling out "Witch!" and snickering as the torches are lit.

Their sex breaks down houses. They have done it in a grave. Rio attempts to murder Agatha at least twice a day at their peak; it's called flirting, Jennifer.

Agatha, obviously knowing that Rio can't actually kill her (and she cannot kill Rio for obvious reasons), feels safest when she's around. Because Rio defends her. She knows the things that Agatha has done and she loves her (not in spite of them, but sort of because of them. Girl's a freak.) anyway.

And Rio hates her mother-in-law, Evanora, with a passion. She definitely has a list of people she hates from all the souls she's had to ferry. A lot of white Puritan men are on that list for their role in the Salem Witch trials. But Evanora is #1 on that list. It's on sight for that bitch.

And I think that makes Agatha soft for Rio. Because nobody has ever defended her against her mother, for her whole childhood. Nobody except Rio.

Which is why Agatha is definitely the one who proposed.

It was a mundane kind of day. Her powers had just killed another coven. Before they attacked, however, one of the witches called Agatha a "Witch-Killer" and said that her mother had always been right about her. She'd heard of how evil Agatha was as a child and this just proved it.

Rio's hands had glowed green and as she took the woman by the throat, slamming her against a tree, screaming at her, telling her about how the true evil was the woman who hated her own child so much as to plan a whole execution after abusing her for her entire childhood. How Agatha was a survivor and so much more powerful than her mother could ever hope to be. And that witches like her had to wake up to it and--then the witch blasted Agatha and it was all over.

Rio huffed as she dropped the empty husk of a body, glaring at the spirit as it floated above it.

"That was your own fault," she said. "If you had just listened to me, none of this would have happened."

The witch just glared and Rio rolled her eyes, collecting the souls of the other witches who had attacked Agatha along with this dumb with.

"I'll be right back," she promised Agatha, who was still thrumming with magic.

"Marry me!" Agatha said as Rio disappeared.

She was halfway through with the job when the words registered in her mind. She got them across in record time, returning to find Agatha on her knees, waiting for her, a purple ring of something she'd made from magic. She was smiling up at Rio, tears in her eyes.

"What did you say?" Rio asked, her heart pounding.

"Marry me," Agatha repeated, her voice tight. "Rio Vidal, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Rio dropped to her knees and tackled Agatha to the ground, raining kisses down on her while Agatha laughed.

And then they got married and lived happily for a century or two, until they had a son. I have no idea how Nicholas came to be. I have no idea why he is a Scratch rather than a Harkness or a Vidal. But I know he had two mommies who loved him more than anything. Rio probably never thought that she could be a wife to anybody, let alone a full mother, but she loved that boy. And she loves Agatha.

Rio has a big heart and she's a bit intense, but we love that for her.

11/10 character

[billybob598]

No Idea Who They're Dealing With (Trinity Rodman x Reader)

Ummm, it's like 1am and I just banged out like 2k words?!?!? This was requested by a lovely anon (hope this is kinda what you wanted). I'm gonna go have a nighttime snack real quick so, byeeee. As always, any feedback good or bad welcome. Enjoy!

Word Count: 2k (actually it's like 1987 but that's basically 2k so fuck it)

You hated Trinity Rodman. With a passion. She was always getting the best of you, no matter how hard you tried she always seemed to be one step ahead. The rivalry between the two of you went back to your U-18 days. You played for Canada during the U-18 World Cup, in that tournament you had really shone, putting yourself at the top of the list for up-and-coming Canadian soccer players. While you had done well, Trinity had done even better. You never played against the USA in that tournament, but she beat you out for the Golden Boot and the Player of the Tournament award. 

The next time your rivalry was rekindled was in the U-20 CONCACAF Championships. Both Canada and the US came top of their groups, respectively. In the semi-finals, the two teams faced off. It was a pretty physical game. Tackles were flying in left and right. Numerous cards were given out. Throughout the match, you and Trinity had been at each other’s throats. It started with just some shoving. Then, it escalated to pulling on each other’s jerseys. The tackles kept getting dirtier and dirtier. It didn’t help that Canada was 2-0 down. At one point, you were both going for the ball, you thought you had definitely beat her to it when you felt a cleat connect with your ankle. You screamed out. Toppling to the ground while clutching your ankle, you knew it was bad. Like, tournament ending bad. With your face buried in the grass, you can hear loud voices, presumably your teammates who had come to defend you. The whistle was being repeatedly blown, but all you could focus on was the immense pain shooting through your leg. 

Trinity was horrified. She hadn’t meant for that to happen. Of course, she was getting frustrated with the physical battle between you. But she really hadn’t meant to hurt you. She had never seen you in so much pain. Your reputation preceded you, everyone knew that you were tough and that if you went down something must be seriously wrong. A number of your teammates came to your aid. They shoved Trinity and got all up in her face. She tuned all of them out, though, preferring to watch the trainers as they started feeling your ankle. When you were on your feet and limping off the field, she wanted to go over and apologize, but one of her teammates dragged her away before she could. 

You had ruptured your Achilles tendon. It took almost six months before you stepped on a soccer pitch again. While Trinity was off becoming a star in the NWSL, you were sitting in physio, fuming. It was mentally and physically exhausting to return to full strength. And when you finally returned you tore it up. At UCLA you established yourself as one of the best players in college soccer. Bev Priestmann was impressed enough to give you a call-up for your first-ever senior national team camp in 2021.

Now, heading into the 2023 SheBelieves Cup you’ve become a regular on the national team. You had played against Trinity a couple of times, but you had tried your best to just ignore her presence altogether. It most certainly confused Trinity. She thought you would be pissed at her and that you would hold a grudge forever. You hadn’t. Actually, it was like Trinity didn’t even exist anymore in your world. Within the Canada camp, there was a lot of things going on. The players, yourself included, were in a dispute with Canada Soccer. Everyone had decided to wear their practice shirts inside out to protest, among other things. Heading into the opening match against the USA, the battle between players and federation was anyone was talking about. Janine and Christine had done an interview with TSN, you hadn’t even spoken publicly about the job action, other than putting the players’ statement on your Instagram. Yet, you were on the receiving end of all the blame coming from Canada Soccer. There had been multiple interviews and statements by Canada Soccer officials and they all stuck to the same narrative, your arrival in the past year or two had changed the mindset within the team. You were the root of this. If it had not been for you, everyone would have been happy still, and the team would not be asking for something that was impossible. You chose to handle this with class, not wanting to stir the pot anymore, you did not respond to those comments. 

The USA had watched all of this happen in complete shock. First of all, the fact that a job action had to be put in motion in the first place. Considering you guys were Olympic champions everyone thought you would have earned a little more respect from your federation. Second, you specifically were enduring most of the public bashing. It was absolutely insane for Canada Soccer to put this all on one player, especially you. This entire fiasco made Trinity’s blood boil. No way they thought they could actually get away with blaming you. When asked by the Canadian team if they would join in making a pre-match protest, they of course agreed.

Soon enough, the two teams were standing in the tunnel, preparing to step out on the pitch. There had been a few hugs given out among the different players. Rapinoe had said some encouraging words to you as she passed by. You didn’t realize how much you needed to hear them until you started to tear up. As the US lines up alongside you, you try your best to not let anyone see the emotion overcoming you. All of a sudden, you feel a hand land on your shoulder. Looking over, you’re surprised to see Trinity Rodman giving you a warm smile.

“Hey, you’re doing a really good job, don’t let them get to you,” Trinity says softly to you. You wipe at your eyes before mumbling out a quick “thanks.” She removes her hand and you immediately miss the contact. Before you can say anything more to her, the refs have started to move forward, with the teams following close behind. The cameras start to click rapidly as Canada’s national team appears wearing the purple “Enough is Enough” shirts. After the anthems, the two teams form a heart around the centre circle. You end up standing beside Trinity. The taller woman’s hand lands on the small of your back, sending shivers up your spine. She notices this and smirks at you. 

That entire game, Canada looks flat. You guys looked like a team that was mentally exhausted, which you were. It was only through pure determination that you were able to put your name on the score sheet. The game finished as a 2-1 US win, it probably should have been more.

When the game ends, you and the rest of the team refuse to do any media and head straight back to the locker rooms. Trinity ends up at the ESPN panel, standing alongside a man she doesn’t recognize and the hosts. It’s only when the hosts introduce the man as the Vice President of Canada Soccer that she realizes what’s going to happen. This was definitely set up by Canada Soccer to continue putting down the players. The hosts ask Trinity a few questions about the match before they address the elephant in the room. For a bit, Trinity thinks that maybe she was wrong. Maybe the vice president wasn’t here to blame the players, maybe he was just here to try to appease the public or something. He wasn’t saying anything too controversial, mostly trying his best to deflect, saying he can’t comment and things like that. For a few minutes, everything is going okay. Until it isn’t.

“Obviously, we only want our women’s teams to thrive. They have shown just how world-class they can be playing against some tough opponents. We just think that some of the demands they’re making are unreasonable. It’s possible that Y/N Y/L/N has gotten some far-reaching goals inside of her teammate's heads. Before, the team was making reasonable demands and we were happy to negotiate with them,” the vice president says with such contempt that Trinity doesn’t know how such an asshole can be elected for anything. 

“Interesting…” ESPN’s host slowly starts to say before Trinity jumps in.

“Or maybe, you guys have just been taking the entire team for push-overs and they, including Y/N, have finally realized their worth. That they are deserving of more than just whatever you have left in the bank account. Also, if you’re going to start publicly bashing Y/N, then you better know that she’s not going to back down without a fight and that she is going to come at you guys with everything she has. You have no fucking idea who you’re dealing with.”

This leaves everyone on the panel in a little bit of shock. Trinity decides that she doesn’t feel like being interviewed anymore. She gives the mic back and then walks off, not having the slightest clue about why she did that. As she gets closer to the US locker room, she stops in her tracks when she hears a voice.

“What the hell did you do that for?” She takes a deep breath before turning around to be met with your beautiful face.

“Uhh, I don’t know,” she stutters out.

“Trinity, you just blew up at a Canada Soccer official and swore on national television. You must know why.” There’s something about how her name sounds coming off your tongue that drives Trinity crazy. 

“Y/N…” she starts as she takes a step towards you. You can feel a blush creeping up your neck as the space between the two of you closes.

“Yeah?” Your voice comes out small and it only encourages Trinity. She takes another step closer, at this point you’re chests are close to touching. Trinity is looking down at you with a smirk that makes your knees weak. It doesn’t help that she’s got probably five inches on you so, you feel incredibly small this close to her.

“I’ve never really hated you, y’know?” Her voice is so smooth, it makes your stomach do flips.

“Oh yeah?” You say not daring to take your eyes off of hers. She starts to lean in slowly. 

“Yeah,” she whispers against your lips before connecting them. Her hands go to your waist, pulling you as close as possible to her. Your fingers find their way into her hair, giving it a light tug. Her lips were like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. They were soft and perfect and moved perfectly against yours. You couldn’t believe what was happening, not too long ago you swore you hated her, but now, she was too good of a kisser to even think about hating her. Soon, you both pull away. She leans her forehead against yours.

“When do you guys leave for the next game?” The American asks quietly.

“I think two days from now,” you reply, “why?”

“Do you want to go on a date with me, say tomorrow?” You can’t help the grin that takes over your face.

“Thought you’d never ask.” You kiss her one last time before entangling your fingers with hers. “I’m not sure you have any idea who you’re dealing with, though,” you joke. Trinity just laughs.

“Trust me, I know exactly who I’m dealing with,” she says with a chuckle. You smile one last time at her before moving to head back to your own locker room. But, she pulls you back and presses a firm kiss on your forehead, then she decides you are free to go. 

When you were named to the World Cup roster, the first person you called was your girlfriend.

“The world has no idea who they’re dealing with, babe.”

[velvetvexations]

As a nonbinary person my biggest problem with enby has always been the fact that it's not ever felt like a word. It's quite literally just saying nb out loud but written out. It's never felt like a real identifier. For as much as the shitty I'm just a girl jokes or saturdays are for the boys sayings are like. Scuffed and bad. The words actually sound like they fit and flow in the sentences. Saying I'm gonna go hang out with the enbies later doesn't sound like a word. It sounds like I'm saying an abbreviation in place of a word. Because that's what it is at the end of the day. It never stopped being just an abbreviation of nonbinary but longer this time and it kinda pisses me off that it's treated like a really Good word. It isn't infantilising or anything bc tbh. It's not any more or less mature than someone just saying the damn letters out loud, but it sure as fuck lacks any sense of formality. People can say they're an enby all they want but it doesn't feel like an identifier if I called myself one, it feels like a descriptor. I think nonbinary people deserve a word for themselves that isn't just. The term for their identity but shortened and then made long again. Especially considering that we don't exactly refer to men and women as ems and doubleyous do we. It's petty, but it keeps me from liking it all the same. If a term that took absolutely Zero Effort to come up with is something that a Big group of who it was supposed to describe really don't fucking like, I dont think it's that big of a deal to put in a little more legwork to make something different

That's an interesting perspective. I guess every word needs an origin?

Idk maybe it would be easier if we made some distinction between internal/personal gender (how you conceptualize yourself) and external/social gender (how you are gendered and treated by others) cis people and post transition trans people usually have an internal gender and an External gender that somewhat match. Pre transition trans people have mismatched internal and external genders, which can produce dysphoria. I personally don't have much of an internal gender at all, but my external gender is "woman" based on presentation and socialization. When i say "trans women are seen as men" what I actually mean is "non-passing trans women are perceived and treated as men by transphobes, a role which has a very narrow set expectations and requirements in order to fully access its privileges, otherwise they get the same treatment as all queer/"failed" men, which is different from the experiences of people gendered externally as women in a lot of complex ways." there's no universal experience of gender and no such thing as a "real" man or woman, that's what "gender is a social construct" MEANS. But still! Our society treats men/boys different than women/girls. And the way people are treated affects how they behave! It's not misgendering anyone to point out and analyze those differences, it's just sociology and gender theory. It can be trans inclusive if you're not an idiot.

Post-transition trans people still generally risk discovery even if they're completely stealth. Besides that, I think it's too close to saying one is that gender also if we split it between the two, since why would one take precedence over the other when gender is fake either way? Identity is personal and people who tell you you're wrong about your identity are just incorrect, it's really simple.

someone i see often in transmisogyny discourse (not gonna drop the user) liked a post saying "intersexism isn't real and it's transmisogyny to say it is", unliked it and denied it when it was brought up to them, and is now pretending it didn't happen. what do you even do about that

I have no idea who you're talking about, but that's bad, I guess?

The ‘transmasc headcannons are all self indulgent, illogical and antifeminist. but transfem headcannons are all intelectual, narratively complex, feminist praxis’ thing reminds me of the ‘yaoi is all self indulgent, illogical and antifeminist. but yuri is all intelectual, narratively complex, feminist praxis’ thing (idk how common it is in fandoms that aren’t homestuck (cus istg that fucking fandom))

it's so deeply annoying

ngl I've been repeating "fellas, is it transphobic to admit that transphobes are transphobic?" ever since you said it (or at least something close to it? I don't remember if this is a direct quote or paraphrase because I was very tired that day) in one of the ask compilations because it sums up the whole thing so succinctly and also just feels good to say

Sorry about all the assclowns who are so eager to assert their bone-deep conviction that yes it totally is -__-;;

we live in a bad timeline

For the "trans-inclusive" cis girls who still insist "transmascs are BETRAYING WOMANHOOD" -

Riiiight...so, COMPLETELY irrelevant question, but how did you and your friends feel about the weird girl in middle and high school? You know, the anime fan with the punk clothes and dyed hair? Started hanging out more with boys than girls around the middle of the year? You DID extend the "bonds of sisterhood" to her too, didn't you?

No? You called her a traitor and a freak too? Even before she started hanging out more with the boys, you thought she was just being a holier-than-thou snob because she wasn't interested in the topics usually considered "girl talk"?

Yeah, I can't imagine why she would have felt more comfortable with the boys either...truly a mystery...yeah she really did totally betray you...yep...

women throw around "pickme" like it's the worst possible thing to be but most pickmes have a pretty good reason for being pickmes and women who complain about them should do some introspection

I think Androhomophobia is the word for MLMs speaking on their unique oppression!

noted!

"Why do trans men need a special word" why do trans women need a special word 🎤 do you just consider mens experiences the default 🤔

for transfem TRFs: because men is what trans women are transitioning away from so it literally was the default for them and they have a hard time understanding the idea that some people want the thing they don't want and don't want the thing they want

for transmasc TRFs: because of course they want to think they're the alpha dogs society revolves around they're all misogynists

As someone who wasn’t on tumblr when that “kill all transmascs” post was going around, what was that about?

I reeeeally hope there’s some context that I’m missing and it wasn’t just one of those “kill all men” jokes from 2012 with “trans” inserted into it.

Also, it’s really disheartening to see this kind of behavior from people who you would otherwise trust.

if it's older than this past March I wasn't around either but there was a post going around just a couple weeks ago

As a nonbinary person: the entire enby thing could be fixed if we just could have terminology without it being relentlessly mocked.

Some people are going to be uncomfortable with enby because it sounds similar to baby and that can feel infantilizing. Some people will not think it’s infantilizing. Some people will not care. This is normal. I think enban is a good term even if enby wasn’t made to be used similarly to boy and girl. I think more explicitly nonbinary terms are good. I want to have more terms to describe myself. Only having enby is annoying.

Yeah like...not having the infrastructure of entrenched and codified language is difficult.

I think there's a degree to which this sort of thing is "spreading", insofar as I see an uptick in random cis people making flippant transandrophobic jokes and then acting like it's antifeminist to disagree. HOWEVER, I also think the hardcore TRFs' views are escalating over time to the point that when their posts break containment they often sound so obviously fucked up that people who aren't as discourse-poisoned are noticing it, rather than just blindly boosting like "Trans rights, I guess!".

the legacy of trans radical feminism: making cis people a little more transphobic

did that one op imply trans men can all just girlmode like its no big deal and takes no effort. like i do girlmode at work but that entails shaving daily and trying to keep my voice high despite having dropped like two octaves.

i feel like all that saves the façade is that my coworkers have known me since pre-T plus my tits are gigantic

he did imply that!

I think all the transmascs on here talking about how being seen as a girl is a privilege should try being a girl not wearing a bra. Or binding. Just letting them hang out. It's amazing how poorly you'll get treated. Bonus points if you're also obviously autistic and generally GNC at the same time

(On that note I think there should be more of a movement for people with boobs to not have to wear a bra because they are so uncomfortable for me and make me extremely dysphoric and I'm sure I can't be the only one-)

That used to be a feminist thing but it seems like everyone retreated from that issue.

What are your thoughts on the idea that TERFs genuinely do hate men the most and the only reason they specifically target trans women is because they see them as men that are "trying to sneak into womens spaces"? I think it makes sense on the basis that they treat trans women badly but sometimes ally with cis men who also hate us because those men aren't "explicitly trying to trick them"

I mean yeah exactly lol TERFs see trans women as men in the middle of actively doing a misogyny or trying to perform a fetish in front of them

[vampiricnature]

Random Max ramblings cuz I'm half asleep

He needs glasses but he doesn't wear them (or contacts)

Ofc the snaggletooth

Beauty mark on the right side of his jaw

Outside of his asshole demeanor he's actually really inexpressive unless he's around people emotional permanence)

Shit memory (he can remember a night 7 years ago but not what he ate this morning)

His room is really empty, he doesn't have a lot of extra things (there are empty beer cans and dirty laundry on the floor because he can't be bothered to clean)

He loves his dad because that's his only parental figure and even though he's verbally abusive, Max doesn't know that's not normal

His mom left when he was little because of his dad. He thinks she left because she didn't want Max, so he despises her for it

He actually really likes being called Maxie by the other football players, it makes him feel safe

He forgets his own strength sometimes and even if he doesn't mean to, he hurts people

He doesn't know how else to take his anger out, so he just does whatever comes to mind

Related, he's very impulsive and doesn't care about consequences until they happen

He's given up on being anything other than a bully

His eyes are wide as shit and it's scary (he looks like a lizard)

Once got his ears pierced but took them out because he was scared his dad would be pissed at him

Listens to older music like ABBA, Queen, he also likes the killers and the Smiths

Steph and him have a sort of sibling relationship

Actually really likes theatre and musicals

He is on the spectrum but his dad won't help him get a diagnosis

The fact that the "nicest thing anyone has ever done for him" was the nerds grouping to terrify him implies that he just wants people to think about him. He wants people to miss him or just think of him at least. His father is neglectful and Max thinks people talking about him whether good or bad is still nice

I have more but I'm lazy

[bigtittiecomitte]

What are your thoughts on this video?? This was recommend to me and I watched it and I didn't really care for it..maybe it's just me but it feels like this person seems more salty about V not getting together with N instead of giving actually criticisms of why he didn't like the finale, in fact I've seen most people act act this way when it comes to the finale..it's been mixed since it released and more people have lately been finding reasons to find Nuzi *Problematic* and a bad ship with saying the whole N is dating is "sister" (Cyn) because of Uzi and the solver being in one together in the same body even though that's NOT the case!! Idk, part of the reasons I was never able to fully ship Envy was because of some of the toxic fans and V fans and how they treated Uzi as a character..even after the finale Uzi is still getting undeserved mistreatment and hate and it's truly unfortunate. People need to see and realize that although Nuzi is canon people are still allowed to ship whatever they want canon or not, and just because Nuzi is canon doesn't mean anybody can be a dick and jackass. People also shouldn't be sending threats to Liam and Glitch because of the finale, yes the finale was flawed but that doesn't make it okay to to doxx or hass the studio or creator, MD is Liam's show and he should allowed to do whatever he wants with this show, I've said this in my own post but I think many in this fandom truly took this show for granted and didn't really deserve it..although I'm grateful for Murder Drones and will forever cherish it as it's my comfort show, this fandom is truly a mess and I know that's all fandoms..but the MD community is just so toxic and I wished it was a much better and healthier fanbase. :(

https://youtu.be/mQ5xnKYHGoc?si=6bSwQpiPV10beX-b

I saw the video and holy fuck Media Literacy is DEAD

I’m all for hearing people’s opinions but it really does piss me off when people just start saying crap without properly understanding the characters they’re talking about

For anybody not wanting to check out the video, basically the guy is saying that N and V should’ve gotten together and N and Uzi should’ve just stayed friends or even have a “sibling dynamic” (pretty much stuff we’ve already heard before lol). The issue is that if you have been watching the show with your two eyes you would know that N and V getting together in the end would actually be WORSE for N and V

N and V’s relationship is very catered to the past, present and future. In the past, N and V had a thing for each other in the manor (maybe even dated) then we have the present where N and V are now genocidal robots with the intent of killing worker drones for oil. N still has a crush on V prior to meeting Uzi while V tries to protect her and N by continuing on their path of death due to her trauma of Cyn and everything that happened in the manor, she tries pretending to forget his name and hides secrets from him, which makes him upset and lash out on her. Then we cut to the future, N and V are now friends and living in the bunker with the rest of the worker drones, they’re healing but they’re doing alright now that there’s finally no hiding secrets from one another

The problem with a lot of people complaining that Envy should have been canon instead is the fact that their entire relationship throughout Murder Drones is all about moving on and the fact that not all romantic relationships end with them being happy together. N and V could never have what they had in the manor again because not only have they moved on from each other but they’re also building up their platonic relationship brick by brick. N and V were never proper friends and never got the chance to rekindle until Uzi came along, which another thing I want to talk about

I see so many people hating on Uzi for being the reason as to why N and V didn’t become endgame but if it wasn’t for Uzi. N and V would’ve never ended up where they are today like if they never met Uzi then they would just end up killing all the worker drones and dying after all the oil is gone, N and V wouldn’t even get to rekindle their relationship because it would be stuck to how it was before Uzi came along. The reason as to why Nuzi became endgame and not Envy wasn’t because Liam favoured one ship than the other but because N and Uzi were actually communicating. They were friends and understood each other’s trauma and feelings, which is what made them work. N and V didn’t have that until N lashed out on her and she got her character growth

The only part I can somewhat agree with is that we should have seen V apologise to the real N (she did apologise but it was to a fake N instead) but I’m at least happy that real N was there to know that she was being sincere with her words. They’re all traumatised characters, none of them deserved what they went through

He says that Uzi should’ve stopped having a crush on N which leads to N and V getting together and I just full on stopped the video because how are you seeing the interactions between N and Uzi and thinking that Uzi should have just stopped having a crush on him when N’s feelings for her were also the same, them not being canon would have actually made no sense because of all the moments we had got of them, hell even them implied to be dating in Episode 7 lol. N and V getting together in the end would have been way more rushed than the ship of what some envy shippers actually claim to be rushed

Not only that but him calling V “jealous” of N and Uzi being in love because apparently that’s what she wanted with N, like hell did V tell you that? She’s happy for them even if she doesn’t look like it (I mean I don’t like seeing couples in public either lol)

Nuzi being canon doesn’t mean you have to stop shipping other ships that you find better and it’s totally ok to be disappointed that Envy wasn’t the main ship. But it doesn’t give people the right to just make fake screenshots of Liam’s twitter and blaming Nuzi shippers for the reason as to why Nuzi became canon (apparently we all did a meeting and pay for Nuzi to be canon lmao). Remember that fanfiction and fanart exist my dudes, support your local AU’s too

Basically Envy is a very tragic ship and it was always written that way and guys please stop mischaracterising V it hurts

[mikailys]

MCL NewGen Ep 7 Commentary

Since there's a lot to cover I think it's for the best doing a full post, so under the cut you go~

First thing first, I have actually liked it, a lot. The whole fake dating situation is hilarious, as the continuous teasing between Candy and Mr. Mendal. In some points it kinda took a toll on me and I had to physically stop the game, get up and go taking a walk around the house because the second-hand embarassement was really something, but despite everything it was enjoyable.

I read some players didn't like the fact it was way shorter than the others but I didn't really mind it. It had everything I expected and even more. Nonetheless I have to agree with the ending, it could have been a little lesser rushed but as for the things were unfolding on Jason's route, that was for the best. I liked how Candy rushed out of the apartment without a caring in the world, leaving Jason and the realtor discussing in there lol

I won't spend a lot of words on how Candy "decided" it was the right moment to move out, I understand she wants her autonomy and indipendence but the Tasha's sketch wasn't a good example. If such a scene had happened in irl, it would have had a different ending. Certainly my mother wouldn't have defended her knowing that I would have to go to work while my sibling is messing around, trying some TikTok trend in the only bathroom of the mansion. But alas that's how they do it in the Dolga's household and, as a consequence, Candy has to wash herself in the kitchen sink... I feel for you love :/

Anyway, leaving this nonsense aside, the whole visit to the apartment was a nice, peculiar emotional rollercoaster. Starting with a Jason who blindly agrees to pretend to be our fianceè, to a Candy who has to pretend to be his mistress. Damn, Jason really? You didn't have any other ideas in that pretty head of yours? What were the chances...

And so begins the banter between the two, with a pinch of sexual references. At the beginning, they were funny, ngl — I was a bit shocked to hear such innuendos from Jason already, but that's fine, I'm not complaining AT ALL.

However, the problem was their excessive repetition, and given the context, they were totally out of pocket rip realtor who had to witness this whole charade, I would ask for a raise for the hours wasted with these two

As they say, the joke's gone far enough and Candy, after being humiliated for the thousandth time, goes apeshit with JayJay. I really appreciated when she dropped the act and demanded some respect. Knowing her backstory it's obvious that hearing all those mean things and having to play the role of the mistress, even if only for pretend, brought her sorrow and unpleasant memories Ioan when I catch you, you filthy worm >:(

Unfortunately, Jason doesn't realize the gravity of the situation he created and continues to tease her until Candy finally bursts into tears and tells him about her past with Ioan. I loved how as soon as she tells him, his expression completely changes, and he suddenly slips into the who did this to you trope.

I mean- LOOK AT HIS FACE, LOOK AT THE SUDDEN CHANGE OF EXPRESSION WHEN HE HEARS ABOUT IT UGHSKJSNKA I LOVE HIM SM AGENT

And so we get the special scene. I think it's one of my favorites; it's the first time we see Jason being so distressed and regretful while apologizing to Candy and carefully wiping her tears. BEAUTIFUL.

I love when my men beg for forgiveness.

After the special scene Candy cheers up, even if still pissed at Jason, decides to forgive him because, quoting her verbatim, she "doesn't want to stay angry with him indefinitely" oh dear you're also so down bad

Also, it seems that Jason already knew Ioan's last name, and it also seems that he wants to make him pay. I'm totally in for whatever form of revenge you pick dear, 'cause he deserves it. A bummer though that my Goldreamz and EPMC collab headcanon will remain only a mere headcanon :(

The episodes ends with the poor, traumatised realtor kicking us out of the apartment and Jason, who is trying to talk business with him (maybe he wants to pay her back for ruining the visit and giving her a second chance to rent the apartment?), while Candy is running out with tail between her legs, ready to start the afternoon work shift. 🙃

What an eventful lunch break it has been, uh?

Anyhow, the next ep leaves me confused?? Although I don't like Roy and I don't want to know anything about his weird swimming practices — I'm curious in how they're going to include Jason with such a peculiar plot. 🤔

[s0lace-1n-s0l1tude]

Tumblr get to know me:

-Favorite type of music from @sparky4577 :

I don't really know tbh,I can like pop as much as rock or metal. I wouldn't really say I have a favorite band or artist.

-Weirdest thing I've ever done from @the-fallen-collective: I'm not sure... There's eating cereal with orange juice,eating serial with water,the toothpaste and ice sandwich,trying to eat a worm,bringing a lizard to school idk

Some of my lore from @deeply-moonstruck:

I'm not that much of an interesting person, actually. So in the nursery or whatever, there was a guy who had a crush on me, and he wouldn't stop biting me so I flung a Hot Wheels car into his eye and he never did it again. There was this girl in my first year of primary school who would always blame me for things she did or accuse me of things I didn't do and the teachers would always believe her since she was a grade above me and I was too confused to say anything. So I got into plenty of trouble because of her, and I still hate her to this day. But I'm not above doing something like that either since a grade later I got a classmate in trouble for hitting me when he didn't. I got a concussion because I fell while running in the halls. (I got a second one a few months ago) I was the gifted kid, and every of my teachers either put me on a pedestal or despised me. And they all thought I was autistic. (They might've been right ngl) So my parents took me to a psychologist who didn't get me diagnosed with anything, but about 4 years later, I got diagnosed with adhd. I fistfought a girl for spreading false rumors of me dating my best friend at the time.On the same year of my diagnosis I had a racist teacher everyone hated since she mostly targeted students of color but she was awful with everyone in general. She was old,so I heard she's dead now lmfao,I'm not gonna get too much into detail cuz this is already long as hell, but I also have some form of trauma from her. And school in general,especially work. Queue my first year of highschool and my whole class hates me for being the "gifted kid" and they try to bully me but it was so pathetic I didn't even notice. Late half of second year burn out finally hits. Then depression. I kinda bullied some girl but it got sorted out. My grades went down by a lot. Not much else to say from here I think. Quick addition: my primary school was apparently haunted, and strange things did happen and I make a separate post about it/srs (keep in my mind we were kids so it probably wasn't that bad)

In last year of primary,I pissed off my art substitute so much she threw scissors at me and if flew right past my eye lol, but eventually became our actual teacher because ours died the same year. Teachers hated me for being introverted and not being very skilled with my hands, so I spent plenty of recesses inside finishing work for school events. Which I later learned was apparently illegal.

Current obsession by @kaiserkisser : Literature,Bungou to Alchemist/Stray Dogs

Fave short story by @cherubsaliaa : Anything by Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

If I was a dog breed, which one would I be from @p1xel-1mp: Doberman Pinscher,specifically in all black or a wolfdog

Favorite mythical creature by @p1xel-1mp : Kitsunes,Medusa,Dragons, and probably a lot of other things, but this is getting way too long

Let me know if you want a part 2

I'm tagging y'all so you can see this

@windyskiez @zestylemonsz @sky-the-weirdo-ace @casinoownersigma @swimminginyokohamasrivers @creatorbiaze @bananaede @cocaine-cass @solzinstarzzz @teddyandmochi @1-d0nt-w4nn4-b3-m3-4nym0r3 @cherubsaliaa @just-floating-around @suicideenthusiast @kimisbunny @myluckymoon @patiori

[chvoswxtch]

Kind of a romcom/action request - do you think you could rewrite or give us your take on the scene where Frank ties Amy to the bed? It’s just always bothered me so much. She’s a teen girl living on the streets, and franks not a moron. He’d know exactly the implication and why she’s scared shitless and I refuse to think he’d be smug or laughing about it, or as callous as he was

i'm really glad you brought this up bc I always thought it was SO out of character for frank, but I never saw anyone else mention it?? like he literally grabs her and throws her on the bed, comes at her with zip ties and duct tape, and acts like a complete asshole?? this girl was literally just attacked, watched this big scary guy rip through a group of professional hitmen like they were nothing, and now she's alone in a motel with him, of course she's freaked the fuck out. and we all know what was going through her head when he forced her on the bed and brought out the zip ties

a lot of things about season 2 pissed me off but this right here is something I will always get heated about bc frank 'girl dad' castle would fucking never and I will die on that hill

so i'm gonna fix it bc apparently I have to do everything around here

headcannon below the cut

what a girl wants starring frank castle & amy bendix

I had to rewatch this scene to refresh my memory and it pissed me off all over again bc out of context it looks so bad but even in context it looks awful

frank "locked the front door of the pawn shop & grabbed a bat bc the guy said he had an inappropriate video of a girl that was barely 12" castle?? francis david "nearly killed the guy who took inappropriate photos of underage girls literally like a few episodes after this" castiglione??? that frank is tying a young girl up to a bed and duct taping her mouth shut???? y'all got me fucked up try again

first of all, she literally helped him pull a bullet out of his ass cheek like thirty seconds before all this. if that's not trauma bonding, I don't know what is

but even before they got to the motel, when they were in the van, they were already bantering like a grumpy dad on a roadtrip with his angsty teenage daughter, like c'mon. and amy had so many opportunities to run if she wanted to. she could've told the clerk at the motel what had happened, or she literally could've ran for it. frank was bleeding out, he was in no shape to chase her down. but he protected her when he didn't have to so I think she felt somewhat safe with him, enough to get the room with him and help him stitch up his ass

AND HE LITERALLY SAYS IN THE NEXT SCENE THEY CAME AFTER A LITTLE GIRL SO I HAD TO GET INVOLVED. HE CALLS HER A LITTLE GIRL !!! okay i'm done i'm not so let's get into what should've happened

so again, obviously she's freaked the fuck out, a bunch of people just tried to murder her, and this grumpy asshole showed up and saved her, but she doesn't know why, or what he wants. if it were me, i'd be suspicious. like okay, you saved me from them, but what do you want?

all frank had to do was talk to her. yes, amy is a handful, but she's literally a kid (I don't know if we ever get her actual age, I think she says several times she's 16, but when I look it up it says between 16-20, so either way she's a young girl) and she doesn't know frank. she's spent her whole life on her own looking out for herself, and she just witnessed a bunch of her friends getting murdered while she hid under a bed, so of course she's not gonna trust this strange scary dude right off the bat

I think if frank had made his intentions clear, it would've gone differently, bc that entire scene is so out of place compared to the rest of the episode and how they interact with each other. like frank involves himself bc she's a kid, and then beth gets hurt in the process, and frank being the vengeful man he is obviously wants to take every single person out involved from top to bottom (just like he did with the kitchen irish, dogs of hell, and mexican cartel. this man does not leave loose ends. everyone gets punished)

so if he had been like hey, fuck those guys for going after a young girl, but also my girl got hurt in the process, so help me out here. help me find the dickheads responsible so that one, I can keep them from coming after you again, but two and most importantly, I can get my revenge for what they did to my woman. I feel like amy would've been like okay he's doing all this for the woman we dropped off at the hospital that he clearly cares about, which means he isn't secretly plotting against me and isn't just another person trying to kill me or steal what I have

frank clearly sees some of his daughter in amy, or at least he sees a glimpse of what lisa could've been if she would've been able to grow up. like there's a lot of moments during season 2 it's implied he sees amy kind of like a daughter. like yeah she's an annoying kid that grates on his nerves and constantly tests his patience, and there's certain moments I think he loses sight of the fact that she is just a kid and he just acts like a complete asshole (like the trailer scene with curtis when she tries to practice her moves with the gun), but then there's so many times he does treat her like he knows she's just a kid (she's literally just a girl)

the entire time he's teaching her how to handle the gun and use it, how he praises her when she does well, how he comforts her when she does have to shoot the gun, how reluctant he is to go along with her plan with the creepy photographer guy, how gentle he is with her in the showdown scene with pilgrim, like he's such a girl dad PLS

so in my professional opinion, it would be more in character for him to sit her down and be like look, these people aren't gonna stop coming after you, I wanna take them down bc now it's personal for me, and in the morning you and I will come up with a plan to figure out who these people are and how to stop them

I think it would've been more in character for him to be like listen up buttercup, you can take off and take your chances by yourself, but I give it 24 hours before you're dead. or, you can help me out and I can keep your ungrateful ass safe until this gets handled, up to you

we could've even had a scene where she's like I can take care of myself bye, leaves, realizes she's in the literal middle of nowhere, weighs the pros and cons of being alone versus being with the guy who took down like thirteen people by himself (I forget how many there actually were but it was a lot), and then show back up at the motel door with a bratty eye roll like alright fine but i'm gonna complain the whole time

would frank have still been bitchy the entire time? absolutely. he's grumpy as it is, and he took a bullet to the ass for a girl that called him rough road to his face (that will never not be funny to me). but would the frank castle I know and love tie a young girl down to the bed and duct tape her mouth?? absolutely the fuck not

in conclusion whoever wrote that specific scene is a fucking weirdo and it's on sight if I ever catch them on the street

[missveryvery]

FengQing dynamics, book vs fan interpretation, General Thoughts about Clown Generals:

Mostly me trying to stare at canon and figure out what these dumbasses think about each other and what their actual relationship is, what's actually written instead of my hopes and dreams for clown love.

we all keep writing/drawing Mu Qing being the mean one and Feng Xin as the nice one but....Feng Xin is the one that relentlessly says horrible things to him, usually unprovoked.

Feng Xin's insults:

That he hates him, that he never wants to see him again, that he's lying, that whenever he sees him doing something it absolutely must be for personal/nefarious reasons, that he's happy when xl does crimes, he's untrustworthy, that he's always scheming, that he thinks he's better than he is, that he wouldn't be where he is without Xie Lian.

Mu Qing's insults are:

that Feng Xin is just as "disloyal" as him for leaving. Basically, his usual argument is "you are just as bad as me." This is his big thing, arguably his only thing.

He maybe thinks the bathhouse is Feng Xin's fault, like he took them somewhere perverted on purpose

His statues? whack.

Says Feng Xin made a big deal about nothing about Xie Lian stealing.

I'm wracking my brain here because a lot of them aren't personal insults so much as making fun of him for something rather than saying he's a bad person. Like he tells Xie Lian about the Ju Yang thing. That's not something Feng Xin did wrong, it's something embarrassing that happened to Feng Xin.

Here's one:

Actually, rereading this, I wonder if he meant Xie Lian...? Since that's the person who they felt like couldn't tell who was a ghost. And Feng Xin has always been able to discern ghostness so far so that seems weirdly specific. Which is nuts because I think we all feel like Mu Qing should insult his intelligence all the time (Feng Xin isn't as dumb as I wish he was, though so...)

I'm extremely guilty of all of this, to be clear. And I don't know why. Sometimes I carefully have Feng Xin realize he was awful and be apologetic, sometimes deal with it.

But probably most of the time, offhandedly, I'm like "Ah yes mq wouldn't catch him in a trust fall", which is something I just saw on my dash. when it's demonstrably, literally untrue, right?

They would both catch each other without hesitation. They literally do! Even when it's at a great risk to themselves!

I think the difference is what they think will happen:

Mu Qing, idk I could go either way. He might know that Feng Xin will catch him because Feng Xin is Like That. Or he might think it's a big question mark.

By Tong'lu he says something to the effect that he's running from them because they'll just kill him if they get ahold of him. But by then things have been escalating. Feng Xin hit him during the avalanche thing off screen and Mu Qing was surprised by it and asked why he'd hit him. We saw Feng Xin punch him before (after ghost city arc), but Mu Qing wasn't confused as to why that time. In other words, normally he might completely trust him but the events of the book threw everything out the window.

But I can't say for sure what Mu Qing would think would happen.

Weirdly, Feng Xin's response is the more complicated one.

Feng Xin does NOT think Mu Qing will or has serious doubts. Except...that's just what he'll verbalize. Literally what happens in the book, he gives no visible indication that he even remotely believes Mu Qing's explanations at Tong'lu.

It's only after Mu Qing suddenly disappears that the narrator tells us that he wasn't as convinced of Mu Qing 's guilt as he acted. He was just pissed and being an asshole. Mu Qing's disappearance is what actually shakes Feng Xin's belief in Mu Qing.

They have another argument earlier about JL:

-Feng Xin assumes the worst

-Mu Qing explains

-Feng Xin backs down for the moment (and goes to have a nervous breakdown)

-but when he sees him again he starts attacking him (avalanche scene), and this fight is bad enough that they've actually pulled weapons on each other

-This fight/argument continues until Hua Cheng shows up and they have bigger things to worry about

Then we have this:

Feng Xin's pattern might be:

Get mad, assume the worst, say things he doesn't mean, eventually calms down about it/acts like it's fine.

There are a couple times where he's argued into shutting up. It's just that he will bring that thing out, that he has been acting like he calmed down about and accepted, when he's mad.

I think he actually does at least subconsciously believe an Mu Qing Explanation PowerPoint. Why? Because that's what his overall behavior reflects. Or, even if, let's say he doesn't believe anything Mu Qing says ever, thinks he's the fucking worst: he still goes on little adventures with him and hangs out with him.

He doesn't suffer people he dislikes very much, does he? He doesn't even want Xie Lian to hang out with Hua Cheng! He's very "don't associate with those kinds of people." Actually, basically everything you "know" about Feng Xin, is not quite accurate by the end of the book, just like it is with Mu Qing.

Anyway, he still happily puts Xie Lian in a dress with Mu Qing. That's basically the definition of a sworn brother.

But at the end of the day, even though I think this is all very shitty behavior on Feng Xin's part and jail for Feng Xin, jail for Feng Xin for One Thousand Years, their relationship is something Mu Qing likes. He cares what he thinks about him. He doesn't want Feng Xin to think badly of him. Despite Feng Xin being the least generous person with benefit of the doubt, he still defends himself with him and the only other person he does that with is Xie Lian. Everyone else he's accepted he can't do anything about.

Like they must be having good times together that they both find worthwhile or they wouldn't be together. He must find things about him that he values.

Best guess is: he admires Feng Xin's selflessness and devotion to "what's right", the same way he thinks Xie Lian is cool. He wants to be around these two people. These are also the aspects he fucking hates the most and says are stupid and pointless and will get you killed. He hates this behavior, he rants about it, he is horrified by it, and yet he is someone who does it over and over and over again. And it always comes back to bite him in the ass.

As for what Feng Xin likes about Mu Qing...I don't know. Like I can't even guess. He likes the Queen a lot who is gentle and kind hearted and he likes the bravery and toughness of JL. He idolizes Xie Lian. But at no point does he assert Mu Qing is anything but the opposite of those people. Even when he has evidence to the contrary he forgets it or dismisses it. So I really have no idea what a canon reason is for him to like Mu Qing.

Maybe he thinks "I'll go with him because it seems fun or interesting" and "I have to protect him" and doesn't consciously attribute any part of that to Mu Qing.

It's possible he doesn't actually like him, as much as I hate to admit it, this would be mind-numbingly realistic for a guy that doesn't like thinking deeply about things. I think a lot of people don't think too deeply about friendship, because most of the time it's about familiarity and proximity and availability. We both like this activity, you're the person I know, we do it together. I'm sure you've met people, even married couples, that when it comes down to it don't actually like each other, they're just together out of familiarity and habit.

I do wonder what it would have been like if Mu Qing had died, that's kind of the usual outcome for a character like this, I feel like I rarely see in an adult book where a character like this has a suicide mission and then is ok or not, idk, very fucked up by it at least.

I do think they're friends, canonically, but I think their relationship is very unlike what we're used to seeing. But I also think mirrors closely a lot of relationships you see in real life, especially with dudes who hang out but don't figure out a Very Important Subject Ever.

Mostly this was just me making notes to myself and then I thought I'd share.

[sprinkleonthatcriticism]

I think the way this situation was handled by others (the one w/ damagedcoda6669) was fucking gross... Yippee ended up being bullied off the internet for existing, (I think he mentioned receiving death threats? Idk) and everyone has resorted to retreating Jack's posts w/ "#FreeTheFerret" to antagonize him (along with spreading actual misinfo abt everything going on)

Ppl should criticize Jack, yeah, but ppl should also take into account that Dragy herself isn't all that innocent or well spirited

The only reason a lot of this drama happened was because she followed the same cycle she has for years

>Jack has drastic change in internet activity

>Dragy comes out with allegations

>Death deletes everything

>"I'm done w birdie drama!!!"

I also think that she was influenced into making the allegations due to her involvement with Julian and others who've been known to be weirdos, some callout docs for reference

Callout doc of Julian by Jack with proof of Death being involved with Julian: https://archive.org/details/copy-of-a-general-julian-callout-doc.

Callout doc by someone else of Julian's other gross behaviors: https://archive.org/details/fran-callout/mode/1up

Not to mention a lot of the "evidence" used to claim that Jack is bad is shit from all the way back in 2020, which he already apologized for in his comeback vid and is rlly outdated (Dragy also tries to defend Malachi and Julian throughout her vid which makes me suspicious of her intentions due to Julia's history of starting drama to get off to it)

That's rlly all I have to say, what do u think?

CW// Zoophilla mention, SA mention, COCSA, Grooming mention

I know I said won't talk more about the recent Jack drama after that post but I'll respond to you anon with my thoughts. I do agree with what you said, Draggy isn't innocent either and I do kinda believe that she only brought up the cocsa drama because of Jack being in hot-water because he stolen back his cat (which, i wish people would stop saying that he is in the wrong just because Synnibear03's legal name was signed on the papers to own the cats, neglecting the fact that she given Skqrp to Jack and only took back Skqrp because of ya know being called out of being a predator, and people are also forgetting that ALLEGEDLY [please correct me if i'm wrong and it could be mis-memory] someone on twitter qrt'd Jack and admitted to being the one who encouraged a mentally ill person into the idea of stealing Skqrp back, knowing full well that Jack isn't in the RIGHT state of mind...) Which of course, led to Jack being harassed by everyone online who suddenly decide to take Synni's side because "Oh woe is me, "my" cat has been stolen!11!!! My cat has been stolen by a mentally ill homeless guy that had sexually assaulted a while back!! waah" and people also forget that Jack given the cat to someone else to hold onto until he most likely get a place to stay. Also the '#free the ferret' thing pisses me off considering Jack has already address that he never sexually assaulted his ferret.. he did admit to being close to doing it but didn't went through with it thankfully and people keep leaving out the fact that he was a minor at the time being groomed by Julian? A member of Dice? (i think, my memory is shit).

And yeah it's really gross that people harassed a minor that they claimed to be a "victim" of Jack off the internet all because Yippee says xe isn't a victim of Jack and said that what Jack was doing isn't grooming, so those who claim they care for victims should really shut their mouths and NOT talk over child grooming victims (like myself)....

People also claim to be for mental health until it's an adult having a literal mental breakdown on the internet (Jack posting a photo of a bunch of his pills before taking it down since, obviously) and instead of being concern, they scream "suicide baiting" because he didn't and i quote one of these people "Went through with it".

But anyways yes, I do also think Jack deserves to be criticize and he should address the shit that is happening just as properly apologized to Dragy for grooming her when she was 13 and Jack's 16.

[star-gazer101]

What's a Honeymoon Phase?

Part 1

Pairing(s): 5012 x Reader, Casper x Reader

Characters: 5012 and Casper

Warnings: Slight teasing of Australia, 5012 can't romance, 5012 and Casper having a sort of dick measuring contest. Reapers can sort of lie as a treat. Slight Beyond the Bet DLC.

AN: I'm still not sure how this will go, but I'll try my best!

(Also, apologies to Australia. I'm sure your country is a very nice place to live! ^^;)

-

So, first impressions: Not so good. 

After the big marriage shock that you can’t recall (which you did NOT consent to–you hoped), you were starting to come to terms with this whole ordeal. And of course, your new husband of choice looked like he was slowly coming to terms that he, himself, might have made the biggest mistake of his life.

Probably was the same as when you first met him. Heh. Imagine that. Why did he marry you anyway?

Ah. Right. Spur of the moment. Should have ran while he had the chance.

With all things considered, you suppose Kai wasn’t all that bad. Aside from his face being permanently stuck on ‘pissed off’, Kai is…weird. 

One moment, he can cook you a pretty decent meal, though his seasoning could use a little more work. Then the next, he has complications with…almost everything else.

TVs, household appliances–you name it–Kai would almost break them. You even saw him having a one-sided argument with your dishwasher of all things.

But that wasn’t the weirdest part!

During one day at work, a work friend had told you your husband had come to give you flowers, to show you his affections…

And he did…But…

They weren’t exactly the same flowers you were thinking…

Five sacks of ‘flours’ were brought to your desk. Much to the confusion of your peers…

Were you actually on a prank show right now???

When you did manage to confront him about his weirdness and where he even came from, did things even get more confusing.

With the straightest look you have ever seen, he deadass said with his whole chest:

“I’m from Australia.”  

Yep. It’s official. Real life is an illusion and you are actually a brain in a jar.

No offense to Australians, but this guy did not look like he was from there!

Speaking of which, Kai kind of reminds you of a certain ‘generic white haired anime boy’ back in college…

The very same dear friend that you were meeting with for lunch at this moment.

-

“So, I heard you got married. I guess a ‘congratulations’ is in order.”

Good ol’ Casper the ‘not exactly friendly ghost’ that you met back in college. And the two of you have been very close ever since…Not by choice at first…

Funny thing is, during the first four years you’ve stayed together was a bit of an accident. And by that, you remembered that by some mistake, your name, despite being gender neutral, was placed on a list with other potential male dormmates.

Thus, that is how you met Casper and the rest, as they say, was history.

“Please don’t, Casp,” You pleaded. “I don’t need a reminder on how I sold my hand in marriage to a complete weirdo.”

“That bad, huh?” Casper had the nerve to smile at your misery. If he weren’t such a good friend, you would have strangled him by now. “Care to share with your much more capable friend, Sunshine?”

And why did he have to give you that nickname? It should be a crime for him to make you feel all warm and gooey!

In the end, you told Casper about your husband. Unsurprisingly, he took your side. Just like he always does.

“He sounds horrible. Who doesn’t know how to use a dishwasher?”

“Hello pot. Meet kettle. Didn’t you struggle with a lot of things when we were last roommates?”

Busted. “...At least I know what flowers are?”

You scoffed. “Nice save. But you are still just as bad Mr. ‘I-come-from-a-far-away-continent.’

Casper tried to defend himself. “I told you, Sunshine!  Australia is not what it seems!”

…

…Wait a minute…

“Funny. Kai told me he came from Australia, too…Do you guys happen to know each other? Or–”

Casper quickly slid over his tray of fries to place your focus elsewhere. “I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, Sunshine. Just keep eating. And maybe when we’re done, I’ll get you something to cheer you up.”

Free fries AND a free gift? Casper knows you all too well! 

And you suppose you can let this one slide. For now.

-

Words could not explain how there were far too many issues in regard to this so-called plan. It may have worked for higher ranked devils, but this was ridiculous.

Giving a mortal the best day of their life before they die is one thing, but being forced to marry the mortal that reapers were supposed to kill is another glaring issue.

And to top it all off with the various paperwork that needs to be done in the Underworld is not making 5012’s situation any better.

Reapers were already starting to question their existence. And he did not need to pile all that while playing “house” with a mortal who doesn’t trust him.

The Demon King is undoubtedly laughing at his misery.

Just stay focused. All in good time, the mortal’s soul will be his for the taking.

5012’s phone vibrated on his desk, reminding him of an upcoming message. The sender was from the numbers 8394.

Suspicious. Reaper 8394 never calls him for anything…

With a sigh, 5012 picked up his phone to read the text. What he saw was a image of you happily holding a bouquet of sunflowers with a note attached that reads: these are the kinds of flowers mortals prefer >:D

…Oh…

So that’s how it is.

Unfortunately for you, 8394, that soul will be his.

[tabr1-s]

sunday rant and personal frustrations with him that i begun to write at 6am running on an entire 3 and a half hours of sleep (my cats woke me up.....)

(tldr at the end. i might be as bad as Sunday in terms of yap mileage (yappage) but i'll do one better than him and provide you with the concise version if you scroll all the way down.)

i have never felt such intense emotions about a character's moral viewpoint... Ever. and i've liked characters that were mass murderers before. morals (or lack thereof) usually never played a significant role in whether i liked a character or not (unless they did something i considered worse than plain ol murder, then i wouldn't associate with them), and 99% of the time i could find the character's motivations understandable under the circumstances that they were in.

and, technically, i can understand where Sunday is coming from too.

but that doesn't stop me from being Absolutely pissed at him.

(sunday-esque yap about myself incoming, i will eventually get to the point (which i will highlight))

as someone who has been told that i have "ocd features" Multiple times by my psychiatrist (practically each session) i understand the need for control. my obsessiveness manifests in the form of feeling the need to control practically everything - my current obsession for control being my own emotions, which extends to needing to control entire situations, and in turn makes me severely overthink all the possible outcomes to those given situations. i've also been guilty of controlling others before, and having the mentality of "i know what's best for you". hell, i still feel like that a lot, but i really try to push it back.

and this need for "control" is mainly the reason why i even find comfort in fiction. because it's oftentimes very predictable to me (it also made me think of how i do not find any interest in reading books, but i love writing stories of my own. particularly fan-fiction. and the only time i can feel comfortable enough to feel romance is towards fictional characters - because i control the narrative! it's something to think about.). if i like a character or a narrative, it's easy for me to pick apart where the writers will go with that story. and, even if the story turns out to disappoint me/be different than what i hoped for, i would still be Prepared for that possibility.

i somehow... failed to prepare for what would happen with Sunday.

i had set my sights on the wrong thing for 2.2. i invested my whole energy on trying to comfort myself that hoyo wouldn't take the ipc colonialism route (basically turning out to be capitalist/colonialist apologists) with penacony (which i Guess will be explored in 2.3? but now that i have some more context on the story and how it's unraveling i'm not as anxious about it anymore), that i overlooked a lot of other things that could've gone wrong.

namely, my favourite hsr character to be... Like that. (i'm not even being intentionally vague. i'm just dumbfounded)

i had Heard of the theory that Sunday is possessed by Ena (which didn't particularly make sense to me, and i refused to look at leaks concerning Sunday lest they upset me. either way i Really hated that theory. plus, Sunday being said to have ocd would've been an incredibly cheap way to foreshadow that he's "possessed" by the Order. you can't just create your first(?) important/playable character that has a confirmed mental illness and then go "it's okay actually he's Normal! he was just possessed". i took this very personally. and still am.), and saw a lot of theories concerning his involvement with the Order as well. i shut it all out, because i didn't like the implications of that.

which in turn made me Not think/comfort myself regarding the possibilities that he truly Was connected to the Order.

...

well, rest in pieces, me - it's always the things i don't pay much attention to/ignore/fail to think about. which is actually a bit strange because i was not expecting him to be an entirely sane person from the start - he was a politician type, a leader, and a manipulator, to name a few things. that much was obvious. in 2.0-2.1 i wouldn't have been surprised if it turned out that he was the one that "killed" Robin. again, nothing was out of the question. but, 2.1 showed a different side of him. one that cared for his sister and (seemingly) listened to her and cared about what she thought. so they became quite a comforting little sibling duo to me. tragic, yet you could depend on their mutual trust in eachother... or so i thought.

and then he... went and did all That. which just showed me how, despite him caring for his sister, he was still putting other things above her.

to conclude with my yap: in a sense, he is just my "grim reflection of the self". and although i feel sympathetic towards my past self and how naive and selfish i used to be, there are some flaws of mine i will never forgive myself for. and, Sunday, in a way, reminded me of... Everything. it was almost triggering.

(hey, writing this all down in one place helped me calm down! (it's a neverending cycle that will continue tomorrow. all it will take is seeing a post concerning him and his sister and i'll get pissed anew) yay!)

the point(s) (aka my qualms):

- how sunday manipulated robin + was planning to use her in the charmony festival to complete his plan. she was going to be an unwilling participant in creating a "utopia" that she would've been absolutely against, but he didn't stop to fucking. fill her in, maybe? talk it out? the sheer disrespect on the concept of free will and on the fact that your own sister is a human being of her own sickens me

- he should've cherished the relationship he had with her (x1000 because that's the ONE FAMILY MEMBER YOU HAD LEFT AND THAT IS SUCH A PRIVILEGE!!! IMAGINE HAVING SOMEONE CARE ABOUT YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY AND THEN YOU GO AND THROW IT AWAY!!! YEAH I'VE ALMOST DONE THE SAME EXACT THING MULTIPLE TIMES (AND STILL WOULD) BUT THAT'S WHY I ALSO KNOW HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE MOVE IT IS!!!)

- he forsook his own self and shoved down his own biases and interests (fucking rat. you can't change the fact you're human and i'm very much saying that from experience) to become something Grander than life itself and in fucking turn isolated himself and shut out the one person who actually cared and then had the Gall to complain about being misunderstood/alone. (when you're finally sitting in your unreachable throne in this "dream" that you've created, who will you blame for being lonely? who will you blame when you have no one to fall back into? no one to support you? when everybody you did this for forsakes You?)

- HE DIDN'T EVEN HUG ROBIN BACK AT THE LAST SCENE. LIKE SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR FAILED PLANS AND COME DOWN FROM THE CLOUDS A LITTLE - THE JOY YOU SEEK FOR IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!

- all i hoped for was that sunday and robin would reunite and get the chance to be happy together, and the only true reason i'm mad is because i'm guilty of a lot of the same self sacrificial behaviours as him and very much understand the sentiment of "my loved ones would be better off without my negative presence and influence". but instead of empathizing with him, i feel betrayed. i thought he was better than me. i thought he was someone worthy of admiration, and that doesn't come easily from me. despite all the warning signs i fell for his obvious facade, and i Very rarely get taken by surprise - especially in a way like this.

- if it wasn't for the fact that Robin would feel sad if Sunday died i would personally go and strangle him myself

tldr; i'm just a big baby that placed a lot of faith on Sunday and his relationship with Robin post 2.1 and my ego took a Huge hit once he turned out to be just some immature emo idealist type. (come on, man - i genuinely thought you were better than me! someone worthy of respect! and i usually have a feeling of superiority over others! this was the biggest compliment/act of faith i could give! (talking to a wall (fictional character (I'M FUCKING UPSET))))

[sweaterkittensahoy]

I think something that can be very important to learn is that it's important to know when your tone was more aggro than you meant but that you stand by everything you said.

Because I think it's important to know HOW you talk to people and what you sound like, especially if you're a cunt like me who'll be very fucking clear about my feelings and sometimes go, "Oh, bitch, you wrote that right before bed, and that is NOT how you actually want to sound even though you stand by every statement you made."

Of course I have a story for this:

So, literally something like 17-20 years ago, my sister accused me, via email, of saying some shit. And my response was "I never said that shit."

But, it turns out, I HAD said that shit, and I had assumed I had locked down the entries of my livejournal when I was saying that shit, and so I was lying through my teeth because she couldn't prove it, right?

I had NOT locked down some of the entries, and my sister's response was to reply with a huge load of screengrabs of posts I had made that she could view just by going to my livejournal.

An important sidenote: I had definitely never told my sister I had a livejournal. I honestly do not know how she found it. We'll circle back to that later, not in a "so I was right to be a cunt," but in a "my sister is fucking crazy" come back.

Anyway. She sends a fuckton of screenshots, and I go, "Well, shit."

And I don't remember how long it took me to decide what to do about it, but I know that it happened at the same time that I realized that baiting her to piss her off wasn't actually a good thing to do. And I ended up sitting across from her at the kitchen table at my parents and apologizing as follows (paraphrased but as clear as I remember it):

"I'm sorry you found out my feelings about your relationship this way. I thought those posts were locked down and couldn't be easily found. I was very mean and rude in the way that I discussed your relationship, and I own that. I stand by all my concerns about your relationship."

This apology didn't go over well because my sister has NEVER done well when I've said, "Hey, your relationship is a fucking mess," even when she's asked my honest opinion and I've reminded her she never actually wants my opinion.

But, I stand by that apology because it was honest and acknowledged my tone was extra mean, and that was an important thing I learned.

Now, back to my sister and her cyberstalking. Because, as I mentioned, I never gave her my livejournal, but she'd found it and secretly read it FOR YEARS before finally getting so mad at what I was saying and sending me an angry email.

And the thing is, it took me awhile to realize that my feelings and my angry rants weren't the problem in the situation. I don't regret acknowledging my fuckshit and apologizing for that. But I was working under the impression that this space I had carved was not something my sister was aware of and using that space to vent so that I wasn't a cunt to her face (not that it always stopped me, but it helped). But we're talking about someone who asked to use some paper in a notebook I had, and I said, "Hey, please take it from the back because I have a letter to my boyfriend in the front and don't want you to read that."

Cue my sister leaving the room, then storming back into the room ten minutes later to yell at me at what I wrote about her relationship to my boyfriend. In the letter I had told her NOT TO FUCKING READ.

And when I said, "I told you not to read the letter because it was private! I'm not the bad guy!" She replied with, "It was about me! I didn't do anything wrong!"

And. Just.

Anyway, many years later, I was vent-ranting on twitter about my mother refusing to follow Covid protocols after being exposed at work because it was "so important" she be at work even though she told me any number of people could do her duties while she quarantined. My dad has emphysema. He had it at the time. I spent a LOT of time begging them to stop being fucking stupid about Covid because Dad has a compromised immune system. It never stopped them.

I went on twitter and did a thread just venting about it all because I couldn't do anything else.

Suddenly, my sister popped into the thread and yelled at me for "talking badly" about mom. She had, apparently for years, been hate-reading my twitter like she had my livejournal. And, again, I have no idea how she found that twitter. I did not tell her. We do not talk.

Anyway, I basically told her to eat shit, and then a friend popped in to have my back with no idea what was happening, and it led to a great moment of my sister going, "I don't need strangers to act like they know my mom," to which my friend replied, "I'm not pretending to know your mom. But Gayle DOES know your mom, and they get to be mad if they want to be mad."

A++ friend, her.

To tie this all together: I try not to let my vibe go super-aggro, but also, it's not my job to be worried that one fucking crazy person is sitting on a rock staring at everything I say waiting for the moment to pounce.

Or something. I dunno. Honestly, this post is partly about wondering if my sister has found this tumblr and has been once again cyberstalking me. Which happens any time a story I tell includes her being an asshole because she has previously shown she secretly reads my shit for very long periods of time before snapping and loudly trying to make it my fault she's hate-reading shit from someone she doesn't like or talk to. At this point, I don't fucking care if she is reading and waiting to pounce. It's not my fucking fault she seems determined to find me on the internet and go extra-aggro on me for her choice to not just fucking ignore me. I hope she's very uncomfortable about what a glorious freak I am and maybe finally learns to actually respect people saying, "Hey, maybe don't."

Which, really, is also my point on hardcore aggro tone when talking to myself. Hey, maybe don't. You want to grant grace and kindness to those around you who aren't your fucking sister or aren't unquestionably shit people, and you do that by doing your best to lead with that grace and kindness.