#and i'm like ahhhhhhhh why
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I'm not a "new musical theatre style music" person. Never have been.
Even when I was doing voice lessons, I'd steer towards the golden age or jazzy musical theatre songs. My voice teacher would have to drag me kicking and screaming towards adding anything new musical theatre to my repertoire. For a while, the most modern song in my book was I Know The Truth from Aida, and I wouldn't count that as new musical theatre style since I mean more the Pasek&Paul or Joe Iconis type.
And now I have an audition coming up for a small production of a show in that style and I'm supposed to sing a song in a similar style. And I'm looking at all my sheet music like... let me do some Cole Porter... or Gershwin... at least Sondheim please...
#look i do have SOME newer musicals in my book. but like i said. kicking and screaming.#i'm probably gonna end up doing 'I Think That He Likes Me' which is not IN a musical it's just new musical theatre style#as part of a songbook for some writing duo that i can't remember the name of and it's 2:45am so i can't care enough to look it up.#and it's the only one in my sheet music folder that i'm like 'ok. this is TRULY the right style' and i know it's good in my voice#and it's a cute song and i do like it and it definitely fits the overall vibe of the show#and though i haven't sung it in like 4 years i still remember 90% of the words and have time to study it before the audition#but while trying to find that song deep deep in my folder i pass by other songs i just love so much more#and i'm like ahhhhhhhh why#and i'm not even like 'god i hope i get it' (see A Chorus Line. that's more my type) i truly don't care if i'm cast or not#and yes i can technically audition with any song i could ever want it's just suggested to do the same style#but i know the entire creative panel who i'll be auditioning for and the last 2 times i auditioned for them i sang the same song#only because it's a GOOD song that fit both shows i was auditioning for (Can't Stop Talking About Him by Frank Loesser)#(perfect audition song since it's short at like 28 bars and you can pick the tempo and do a lot of character stuff)#(but see this is what i mean. like 1/3 of my entire sheet music folder is golden age musicals. then half is 60s-90s.)#(and then the last chunk are the few new-ish musical theatre and some pop music.)#(if i took performing more seriously i'd have a wider range but this is truly just for fun and just for me. so i do what i like.)#i don't want to go in for a 3rd audition with the same creative team and doing the same song. especially since it doesn't fit this time.#so once again. dragged kicking and screaming. over to new musical theatre territory. unwillingly.#if i get cast we'll have to see if the show itself even grows on me since honestly i think there's maybe 2 songs i like in it.#it's definitely not the worst new musical theatre style show but it's also not one that drew me in.#ok wait while looking through lists of 'new musical theatre' shows to find one i actually like (i think just Legally Blonde sorry guys)#(every other new musical in the last 20 years that i like did something interesting with the music like Come From Away)#i ended up finding out that apparently 13 was adapted into a netflix movie? when did that even happen?#i mean i don't care for that show either but i thought i was at least up to date on movie adaptations.
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NEW FEAR OF YOU CONTENT AHH
Not even written by me! @dahvampire wrote an entire fanfiction for Fear of you, check it out!! <3
Pretty much this dynamic:
#WOOPS wrong blog LMAO#omg i'm so happy#THIS#AHHHHHHHH#I'm so freaking blessed; they writing about my blorbos#HELLOO#LOOKIT THE FREAKING PROSE#@dahvampire I will leave THE review to ever exist prepare your inbox#I'm so freaking crazy about this#Like THE GRIN I have on my face HELLO#I haven't read “All In” yet (only the first paragraphs with OH BOY DO I LOVE THIS ALREADY) I want to save it for my travel home today!!#Man why did I stop writing about them i love this fucking bird#I think I'm back in the fandom baby#HIUWE>itrfsda#I need to finish editing the next chapter of Foy#It's Endeavor and Shinyo centric too#Let's see how it goes weeee#bnha#mha#mha foy#bnha fear of you#mha fear of you#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha shinyo takami#bnha shinyo takami#mha the takami thief#bnha shinyo#bnha oc#mha endeavor
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(sits here shaking and vaguely annoyed) hsr update save me
#avil speaks#i'll be fiiiine#my schedule for the day just kinda got thrown a wrench so i'm like :I hmmmmm why.#but!! we shall get through it and then i really hope i'll be able to work on other stuff that i really want to work on for aspirations blah#side gig that pays well so i can keep myself afloat while i use that pay to work on actual career goals#thats at least the plan right now askldjfah#but then afterwards at least i have the hsr update tonight.#and im playing honkai w friend too#but um. after my little cryfest last night im going to walk into honkai like Q _ Q ah.....ahhhhhhhh#but its fine aslkdfjah
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I have a problem. Today another co-worker asked me if we should try dating. What is even going in in my life, what do I do, I will have to pick 😭
#personal posts#tbh I'm not sure if it work out with the girl because we've been texting and the conversations go pretty dry#and it feels like we are talking past each other a lot of the time#with the guy I have good vibes and no trouble having conversations#but ahhhhhhhh#what do i do why do I suddenly have so many love interests#(and I do think the guy had his gay awakening with me lol)
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nothing like getting very minorly told off at work to make me feel physically ill for the rest of the day
#logically it's like. ok no one told me not to do that and it was ambiguous#so now that you've said not to I won't in the future. case closed#but it's like ahhhhhhhh so who even told you I was doing that in the first place#and why. were they annoyed? and more importantly did they present the situation accurately to you?#or do you now think I was doing something worse than I actually was?#second of all it wasn't complicated to explain so you didn't need to slack me to tell me to stop by your office#you could have just said it over slack. two sentences#a real win for the inclination to assume that everyone thinks I'm annoying and bad at my job and they regret hiring me#<<skewed for sure but there is a tiny bunny rabbit in my chest who needs a 99:1 positive to negative feedback ratio and she's not getting i#anyway I don't ever want to be seen as resistant to criticism so I'm always just like okay :) 👍#resisting the urge to explain or justify but then that just makes me worry everyone assumes the worst of me#bc I'm not making it absolutely clear where I'm coming from#and the answer is. bestie they aren't thinking abt you at all it's not that deep#also. it makes sense that I am worse than everyone else at my job bc I am the newest and the least experienced#and also! this is the first time I've ever worked in an office environment! first time I've ever worked full time!#I don't know what I'm doing! I deserve a little grace!#anyway yikes yikes yikes#yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes
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it's so damn mean how s4 builds up Nabu x Layla so wonderfully just to make it even more painful, when they kill him off later.
#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#next episode will be his death and I can't deal with that#why#just why#there is no fkn reason for this#NONE#s4 was a whole damn boring mess with zero continuity but this puts the cherry on top#no no no#I'm so angry rn#tbh i totally forgot how cool nabu was#rewatching s3 i really came to like him#and in s4 he was just the BEST bf ever#and i really like him now#and now he dies#ahhhhhhhh#winx#winx club#winx nabu#winx club season 4#winx s4 spoilers#also yes i'm already on s4 but i will continue posting my thoughts on the others seasons it just takes long
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we just started our first pharmacology class and I am so so in love with it! I am have never been so excited to learn anything! in any other course I've taken! ever! I'm in my element rn fr eeeeeeeeeee :)
#I miss working at the pharmacy! so much!#but it was adversely effecting my mental health (toxic managers go brrr)#i'm nerding out so hard rn but i don't even care#all my classemates are moaning and groaning about it!! like why!!#sure it's a lot#but it's so cool!!!#i think this might actually surpass my love for anatomy (which is saying something)#i would have been a pharmacist... and then i worked as an assistant for 2 years and saw what that career would actually entail... 😔#i just needed to rant somewhere about it ahhhhhhhh
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actually, no. you know what? i am so sick of this “marinette is just a friend” bs. okay. cool. adrien said she was just a friend a few times. whatever. it’s not that big of a deal and everyone in the mlb fandom like. hyperfixates on that??? idc if it’s a “just a joke” because it’s utterly ridiculous at this point. i have literally seen people go on heated rants about how stupid or clueless adrien was during the umbrella scene because he called mari just a friend. are you kidding me??? y’all are really going to take away that moment for him? he just made like his first ever friend in nino and when he called her a friend, he looked so excited because this boy has only ever had one friend before. of course he’s going to call mari just a friend because he just met her and the only time she’s actually spoken to him outside of the suit at this point is to yell at him like... y’all...
and this is not me hating on mari because i love her so so so much. i just hate how passionate and heated fans get about this. i mean... y’all... adrien didn’t even think mari liked him??? like, in puppeteer two, he is literally upset because he came to the conclusion that mari hates him. also, of course he’s not like in love with or crushing on her when she’s barely spoken actual sentences to him! again, not me hating on mari and her nerves because like i get it, it’s hard. and also this is like adrien’s first time interacting with people as peers, so 1. of course romance is not his main priority 2. he doesn’t understand social cues or situations very well At All which is made abundantly clear in the show 3. i don’t... i don’t think adrien knows what affection is??? i mean, he’s definitely learned some over the course of the show, but he’s used to a neglectful / abusive father, his stoic assistant, his bodyguard who doesn’t really talk like at all, chloé being chloé, and hoards of fans declaring that they’re in love with him, hanging all over him, acting like he’s a shiny thing rather than a person, etc... so like. how is adrien supposed to actually comprehend that mari likes him???
and okay no my last point: so so so sick of the double standard. i have seen countless people rant and rave and scream and shout about how stupid adrien is for not returning mari’s feelings or knowing he has a crush on her and then these same people will turn around and berate chat noir and say things like “gosh ladybug isn’t obligated to return his feelings:/” like... hELLO??? why is ladybug not obligated while adrien is??? it’s ridiculous and disgusting and i’m so so so tired of “just a friend” jokes on tumblr, in art, in fics, in youtube compilations... like... can’t we be normal about this? and i don’t mean normal as in “casually enjoy” i mean normal as in can we stop being so aggressive and harsh and hostile towards literal fourteen year olds my God they’re children they’re allowed to make mistakes and mess up and my God the way y’all talk about lila is disgusting, too like i hate her but i don’t want her tortured and killed??? and the way people characterize the classmates as physically and verbally assaulting mari because of lila??? like... my God they would never??? they would all honestly side with mari chameleon is a bad episode and is poorly written and everyone is out of character please use your critical thinking skills and understand that chat noir is not harassing ladybug anymore than mari may be harassing adrien (aka they are not harassing each other at all my God) and stop insulting and demonizing fourteen year olds so your otp can get together thanks
#i have. feelings.#sorry y'all#this may be harsh but i am so beyond sick of it#i've been going through the classmates tag on ao3 and filtered out all the s.alt fics for all the characters and the majority of the fics#i'm seeing are aggressive lila takedown fics or like unproperly tagged s.alt fics#where the classmates are still rude and aggressive and bully mari when even lila doesn't really bully mari that badly??? like yes it is#awful that she tried to get her expelled and lied a bit about her but lila has never been physical nor tried to kill mari and nor would any#of the classmates actually turn against her like. they may disagree with her or think she may be acting on her crush and yes lila did#threaten mari in the bathroom but like... what has she done since then? try to get her expelled and then... nothing. like. this is Not me#saying not to take bullying seriously but people take it to the extreme with lila and how she treats mari in fics and i am so so so sick of#it!!! i just want to read mlb classmate fics where they're all silly and being teenagers without mari being unreasonably and uncanonically#bullied and without the tags 'alya/adrien/classmate redemption' HELLO??? WHY DO THEY NEED TO BE REDEEMED??? THEY AREN'T VILLAINS??? THEY ARE#FOURTEEN??? as a rule of thumb i refuse to read fics with those tags like sorry but if you tag fics like that then you obviously don't know#the characters. i'm sorry if this sounds mean or harsh it's just exhausting trying to find fun or sweet or found family mlb fics because so#many of them are so negative and ooc and involve like extreme hatred towards fourteen year old fictional children... like... how do we not#see the problem with that??? like... am i overreacting??? please someone tell me they agree with me!!! i've been working on this really#stressful assignment that determines whether i graduate my future career and also costs three hundred dollars to take so i've been really#stressed and every time i try and take an mb fic break i end up more stressed because the fandom is so cruel to children ahhhhhhhh#okay i am. done. maybe i'll delete this later... i just need to see if someone agrees with me because i am. :))) on the verge of losing it#lol#mlb
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Toots horn
I've finally got a title for the fuckingngngn Godrick/Ghirahim fic I've been struggling to work on in forever! Spinning Straw Thread, or some variation thereof.
It's progress...!
#scrawny rambles#those of you with a keen eye will spot the fairytale reference#and the way it weaves into the narrative :}#but yeah i really want to write this thang but god is it??? /difficult/???#I know what the endgame looks like. I'm just stuck on this bloody fourth chapter.#why do i write for action games when i hate writing action scenes...#ahhhhhhhh#sst#spinning straw thread
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I hate how often people point to equations as an explanation for what is very obviously a conceptual question. "Why does velocity increase when pressure decreases?" "Because Bernoulli's equation says they're inversely proportional." Thank you, we can all see that, that's not what they were fucking asking. Given a random equation, I can guarantee that anyone can plug in the numbers and figure out that V goes down when P goes up. That doesn't explain the physics of why that shit fucking happens.
#currently trying to out together a satisfying explanation for a student who constantly asks really in depth questions#which is a good thing except the subject we'll be covering this week is one I struggle with myself#so I'm trying to cover my bases and go more in depth than I've ever bothered to go so hopefully i can answer all her questions#but i run into this goddamn issue every time i research anything#people are like wELl tHe EqUaTiOn sAyS sO cAnT yOu SeE tHaT?#YES! YES I CAN! SO CAN EVERYONE ELSE! THAT TELLS ME NOTHING IN TERMS OF WHY IT FUCKING DOES THAT#AHHHHHHHH#anyway
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I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF HIM!!!
😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️
michaelah.jpg: helperbots assemble 🤖🩵 📸 for @ maybehappyending
#darren criss#darrencriss#ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!#ahhh he’s so cute#ahhhhhh#ahhhhhhhh#this is everything#but ahhhh#like ahhhh#ahhhhh#god i love him#i love him so much#i love him#omggg#omg omg omg#omg i love him#omg look at that!#so hot 🔥🔥🔥#hes so hot#why is he so hot#hot hot hot#so hotttt#like omg#😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️#beautiful ❤️#❤️#❤️❤️❤️#❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#i'm so 😍😍😍😍😍#gorgeous 😍😍😍
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Portrait spamming
Recent discovery. If you click on the portraits of the characters like crazy, they will react to it. And the developers had a lot of fun coding these reactions xD
Tav / Dark Urge
normal - I'm awake! Mostly. - I'm starting to get a headache. - Must be the tadpole. - Quit knocking around in there! - A thousand needlepricks in my rotten skull.
combat -Ahhhhhhhh! Okay, I feel better. - I have an itch in the worst place. - Is being a mind flayer so bad? - Just waiting to venture forth here. - I'm maiming as fast as I can!
stealth - What's that ticking? - Is it me? Am I ticking? - Bomb in my head about to go off. Great. - Ah, well. I had a good run.
Astarion
normal - Why do beautiful people taste better? It hardly seems fair on the ugly - they have such wonderful personalities. - Ugh. Strahd wouldn't put up with this shit. - More like Drizzt Don't'Urden - no. No that's not funny. - Villains! Dissemble no more, I admit the deed! Tear up the floor - here, here! It is the beating of his hideous hea- oh, no, that's his brain. Where did I leave that heart?
combat: - I'm trying to focus on murder. - *Humming.* - I shot a svirfneblin in Menzoberranzan just to watch him die. - I should've been a drow. They have such stylish armour.
stealth - Shhh. Just think sneaky thoughts. - Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP. - Be very, very quiet - I'm hunting idiots. - I've got a brand new torture chamber, so come and play with me.
Karlach
normal - NOTE TO ACTOR/DIRECTOR: Blow a raspberry at the player. - Don't. Poke. The Karlach. - Who am I? - My eye!
combat - Eyes on the prize - we need to win this! - Not every soldier should've made it out of training. - Eyes on victory, tummy on dinner. - I ought to just burn this whole thing down.
stealth - My back can't take much more of this. - Not now, I'm being a sneak! - I'm getting too old for this nonsense. - I'm not built to crouch.
Gale
normal - I hope Halaster takes good care of Tara while I'm away. - Sembian wine; Cormyrian boar; Waterdhavian conversation. It's the little things you miss while on the road. - Oh, what a tangled Weave we web! - All the world's my stage and you're just a player in it.
combat - Just go for the Magic Missile and fire away. Never fails. - Don't make me go all Edwin Odesseiron on you. - Get. Out. Of. My. Head. - I really wish I could cast a Hold spell on you.
stealth - You made me hide, don't make me come seek you. - Gods, it's like trying to sleep with a mosquito in the room. - A little privacy please. - Stop it - that tickles.
Wyll
normal - Could do for a brew. - Where there's a 'Wyll', there's a 'y'. - Ever get the sense that someone's watching? - So two halflings walk under a bar...
combat - Can't hear myself think! - Wear your scars proudly. - As my father once told me: 'Can we get on with it?' - I find moderation is key.
stealth - Bad time for an itch. - Could do for a brew. - So two halflings walk under a bar... - Shush. No, really. Shush.
Lae'zel
normal - Must everyone be so exhausting? - Weapons high. Standards higher. - Is perfection too much to ask? - Pride is a virtue.
combat - I will know my queen! - There is no right or wrong, only truth. - What is the point, if not victory? - You are right to fear me.
stealth - Hush already. - There is no wisdom in madness. - Is perfection too much to ask? - There is but one way. Vlaakith.
Shadowheart
all modes - I wonder how I'll feel when I remember everything. - Strange. I've had more freedom this past while than my whole life... - Have to keep focused. Can't afford to get attached - to anyone. - If I succeed, maybe I'll be allowed a pet... ugh, stop being silly.
Halsin / his voice is currently bugged :(
normal - What I would not give for a chunk of fresh honeycomb... - Such attention... I never realised I was so popular. - Are you feeling lonely, perhaps? - Unwise, perhaps, to poke a bear this much...
сombat - Battle is afoot - you can poke me once we are safe. - Perhaps try attacking the enemy? - Admirable stamina, yet terrible priorities. - You are insistent, are you not?
stealth - Most consider it unwise to poke a bear. - My, you are eager, are you not? - Please. I am trying to be stealthy. - Calm yourself. There is plenty of me to go around.
Jaheira
normal - Oh, calm down. I'm happy to see you too. - I would poke you back, but I fear that's what you want. - My, such strong wrists. - Well you certainly have the 'omnipresent' part down, don't you? - Please go poke the ranger instead.
combat - You have my attention - now do something with it. - What? What do you want!? - Do you know, I begin to wish they had never brought me back. - Yes, yes, have your fun. It isn't you they're trying to kill.
stealth - Dry those sweaty palms and let us try this again, shall we? - Argh, my knees! Oh. It was a twig. - Would that I could hide from you, too. - Careful, or I will take your toy away from you.
Minsc
normal - ARGH! My EYE, Boo! They went for my EYE! - Know that if you poke Boo, no higher dimension will keep you safe! - Heehee. Heeheeheehee. - Well, Boo? How do you want to do this?
сombat - Are you perchance a squeaky wheel in need of a kick? - I am armed! Armoured! And entirely sick of your foolishness. - I begin to grow annoyed. It is well for you that Boo does not let me learn the bad words! - Ignore them, Boo. Let them gaze deep into their own abyss, and wonder just what it is they are trying to achieve.
stealth - A little to the left? But not so hard you make me giggle. - Boo...? Are you dancing down there, or...? - Hush! I am surprising Boo for his birthday! He is... uh... eh... how old do hamsters get...? - I am the night. A pity, then, that it is so bright out.
Minthara
all modes - You had my attention, now you have my fury. - Phlar Lolth ssinssrickla. - Your suffering will be spectacular. - Stop, or die.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#karlach#gale#wyll#lae'zel#shadowheart#halsin#jaheira#minsc#minthara#funny stuff#bg3 datamine
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Huuurghh
#crouch speaks#I am down bad this is bad#I have no idea how to further converse tho like ahhhhhhhh#Maybe I'll leave it for a day see how bad I'm doing tomorrow#But like God damn it#Literally fried my brain last night interacting w them#Why did I have work today#Insert a foblitorator song here or something
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:-"You left me. I have nothing to say now." Reuniting lovers angst prompts-:
(Umm yes? Obviously. You want angst. I'm giving you angst. Enjoy!!!!AHHHHHHHH I LOVE THESEEEEE😩😩)
By @me-writes-prompts
"Good to see you again, [surname]." (NOT THEIR GIVEN NAME OR THE NICKNAME THEY USED TO CALL THEM BUT THE DAMN SURNAME, SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET REAL)
“You know, you could’ve at least said a last goodbye.” They say accompanied by a sad humorless chuckle.
“Oh, hi. Didn’t expect to see you here.”
When they leave you and your friend’s the one who supported you. So, when they are back, your friend gets protective of you.
“Did you really think we could rebuild what we had? Rebuild us?”
"I need time to adjust to your existence again."
Those longing stares but not being able to do anything about it, because you don't want to repeat the same mistakes
Telling them to leave you alone, even though you just want to be in their arms
When they smile sadly at you, and you just have to physically restrain yourself from wanting to kiss them
"I'm sorry, I-" "Isn't it a little late for an apology?"
"We could've worked out, if only you didn't act like a jerk and left me."
"Please, I want to make up for what I did in the past. Just please."
"Can we...be more than this? I was an idiot for leaving you, but now I want to make this right. Make us right."
"It feels like...like I'm here with you, but I'm also not here because my present-self is still haunted by my past self, past you, past us."
Them trying to do everything and anything to make it up to you
"I need time, okay? I can't do this right now."
"You should've at least told me why you thought I was better without you. But, no, you just left, like I didn't matter to you. Like, it was only you that needed to make decisions for both of us."
"It's not fair. You're not fair. You can't just come back in my life and expect me to get all lovey-dovey with you. That's not how it works, that's not how life works."
Those accidental touches that have you flinching because it's just been so long since you've touched them. OR you crave touching them more.
"I was a fool for leaving you. But I hope this fool can get a second chance to love." They say with a sad smile, trying to hold in their tears/or maybe full on sobbing.
"It was a misunderstanding, and I get it now. I'm sorry, I should've talked to you." "A single sorry can't make it up, [name]." "I know, and I'm willing to do everything to earn your forgiveness."
#gotta love the angst ;)#writers on tumblr#writeblr#prompt list#otp prompts#writing prompts#story prompt#otp writing#imagine your otp#dialogue prompts#otp#otp stuff#otp meme#otp tropes#angst prompts#writing prompt#otp dialogue#dialogue prompt#prompts#writing#writerscommunity#creative writing#writing inspiration#angst dialogue#angst dialogue prompts#sad prompts#fluffy prompts#fluff#green flags#red flags
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Grian jumpscares Scar and Cub thinks Scar is wearing far too much clothing now
Scar: I want that core so ba--ahhhHHHHH, there's a pigeon! (calmer) Hello, Grian. (to Cub, conspiratorially) Dude, there's a pigeon, look. Cub: Where's a Grian? Scar: (whispering) There's a Grian right there. Cub: (overlapping) Oh, there he is! Oh man, I didn't even see him. Scar: He's so color coordinated with his outfit, do you see that? Cub: I do see that. Scar: Like, it is actually pretty color coordinated. Cub: He's got a good look to him. Scar: I don't have any look, look at me, I'm just...I look like I came out of, like a...dig site. Cub: D-dude, dude, okay. You've been like, over the course of the season, you've been putting on more and more layers of clothing. Scar: (laughs) So I'm getting more clothed? Cub: Yeah, yeah, it's been, like--you started with the short shorts, the booty shorts, right? Scar: (defensively) No, those were tactical khaki. Cub: T-shirt--they were definitely booty shorts, let's be real, c'mon. Scar: Those were tactical khaki pants that I could outrun a wilder-beast (a mispronunciation of wildebeest) at thirty-nine clicks a second. Cub: (dubiously) I-D-K about that, I-D-K about that. Scar: It has-- Cub: (overlapping) Well, anyway-- Scar: (overlapping) It has a stretch over two inches! Cub: (overlapping, disbelieving): You now have pants on, long sleeves, and a hat? (Scar snickers) Okay. Yeah. Mhm. Scar: "Grian's menacing." Why? What do you think, what is he doing? (sees Grian, inhales sharply) Oh! Jeez, oh, okay, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right, he's menacing! (Scar snickers) Cub: Yep.
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OKAY BUT LISTEN. LISTEN. I WANNA BREAK DOWN SOME OF THE PANELS FROM THIS SCENE CAUSE UH. This is like a powerpoint of the audience realizing the Sheep are not Chuuya's friends.
First off, baby? Baby. Also Chuuya's body language in the art is so, like, embarassed/self-conscious teen, except instead of the problem being hanging out with the wrong people in high school its...Mafia-level stakes. Anyway, Chuuya curling up while hiding from his "friends" immediately gives you a sense he is not the one in control.
Dazai-like expression who? Chuuya is putting on a mask so eerily similar...it gives us some great parallels.
Chuuya unnecessarily apologizing to Shirase? Yeah. Straight from the book.
Insane over Shirase's solid B+ gaslighting. I don't remember if these lines are from the book, but Shirase implying Chuuya's the one "acting like a tyrant" when he literally didn't do anything?? Except ask politely for favors? Throughout the whole conversation he's been the polar opposite. But hey, maybe Shirase's just projecting.
Haha, "somehow".
Nothing to add here except Shirase's body language in this is SO much better than the anime. In the anime he just acted mad and kinda hot-headed. Here he's smiling, acting friendly, giving off those "ofc I'm on your side Chuuya but you make it so hard for these made-up reasons" vibes. Shirase is opportunistic, manipulative, he believes he has control over Chuuya, and therefore his ability.
Of course, Dazai can tell immediately what Shirase is doing. That Shirase has more power over Chuuya than Chuuya does over any of the Sheep (which is once again reinforced by the body language. Shirase's arm over Chuuya's shoulders, swamping him. Being physically taller than Chuuya. Chuuya just kind of standing there, passively.
Also despite what Shirase seems to believe, he and the other Sheep are not one bit smarter than Chuuya. They're eagerly celebrating their victory when Chuuya can clearly tell this is some sort of plan on Dazai's part.
Dazai destroying any leverage they had over Chuuya and yet knowing there's some reason Chuuya is doing this anyway. Offering him a choice.
As I've said before (and it's more obvious than ever in the manga) Shirase's using it to gain Mafia territory by getting some of their members captured. I've stated this before, and we do get a confirmation:
The "self defense rule" is something Chuuya explicitly created. To not strike unless provoked. I have a lot of thoughts on this and why but that's not for this post.
And we have!! Dazai getting pissed off on Chuuya's behalf!! He's scary.
(Spoiler alert: they are not his friends.)
Ahhhh
Ahhhhhhhh
Guys I love this chapter. Because on one hand, Shirase, like the rest of the Sheep, have very legitimate fears. They're literally a bunch of kids that used to be preyed on by other organizations, and if Chuuya is not guaranteed to protect them, then...well...they're in horrible danger, really.
The problem is that Chuuya is ready to protect them. But they don't trust him, and it seems they never have. The whole thing is built on Shirase (and probably the others) holding some kind of emotional and social power over Chuuya, therefore guaranteeing their safety. But when that's not longer the case, well, they don't trust Chuuya to protect them. I'm curious how the manga is going to adapt Dazai's whole "meat" story later on because the issue isn't a selfish conflict of interest. The issue is trust, and the lack of it between Chuuya and the rest of the Sheep.
It's like the Sheep built their gang on high school clique rules, and didn't realize Chuuya's not just operating out of a sense of obligation and need to belong, but genuine care. Anyway, that's all I have to say. The art is beautiful.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#nakahara chuuya#dazai osamu#soukoku#fifteen manga#fifteen light novel#shirase
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