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the-scythes-pen · 7 months

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Bleeding Pastels (Kabukimono x Reader)

The puppet's life is colourful; while tainted and stained with a dark smudge in the middle- originating from his creation- at least it won't discolour the world he lives in...

right?

Yandere!Scaramouche x Reader

Kabukimono era

Canon-divergent. Some abuse briefly described later on. Symbolism-heavy. Read between the rainbow to find the shadows that the light casts.

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I. Pink

The day that the boy first saw you, he almost mistook you for a god.

You sat alone underneath wispy sunlight that broke through the gaps in the bright pink petals above you. Gently fluttering down around you, picking up with the occasional spring breeze; sakura petals adorned your atmosphere and lay like a bed around your form.

The shade of pink that dusted the boy's cheeks was only somewhat darker then the beautiful pale pink of the sakura and it's flowers.

The boy could only stare in awe, lost in his own world of reverence and admiration- that was until a beautiful, soft voice pulled him out of his head.

"And who might you be?"

The puppet blinks. Your bright, vivid irises held him captive among the falling blossoms; his pale pink lips open and close without a sound- the boy unable to find a response.

You laugh. Gods, that sound makes something within him stir. It steals his artificial breath and replaces it with something so soft and light that he does not dare to look too deep into.

"Well? There's room for both of us here, if you want." You say with a smile, palm patting the soft grass beside you.

It takes a moment for the puppet to register your words, but as soon as he does it's like a string has been pulled taut- and he longs to loosen the tension that has formed. He makes his way over to you, his knees folded underneath him as he merely stares at you silently.

"You're that boy that guy brought with him a couple days ago, right? What's your name?"

For once, the puppet speaks.

"I... Don't know." His voice is soft, light, and almost somewhat childish. He sounds so innocent and boyish.

Your eyes wander down his face and trail down his arms. He doesn't say anything, but he can see you stop and stare at the joints in the middle of his arms; the ones attached with a ball and some hinges.

"Hey, you're not human, are you?" You say with curiosity in your tone, as you pull yourself onto your knees to take a closer look. Your hands are soft as they take ahold of his wrist and hand, pulling it out to a stretch as you stare in wonder at his unblemished skin and the way his arm connects to the rest of his body.

The puppet watches as a bright pink petal flutters down against the untainted sky and lands delicately in your hair.

"I hope you forgive me for oogling you; I've just never met someone like you before..."

Your eyes flicker up to meet his wide-eyed stare; and you offer him a smile as bright as the sunlight above.

"Your skin is so soft, and the way your elbows are designed is so cool! Are your knees like this too?"

The puppet doesn't say anything; instead unable to find an appropriate response as all he can do is nod his head.

"Really? That's so cool!" You say with wonder to match his own.

"I'm (Y/N). I-"

Your mouth hangs open, but no words escape you as you watch the puppet's hand slowly move atop your head. Delicate fingers pluck what his eyes are so intensely trained on from your hair, before bringing it down infront of the both of you to see.

"This... was on you."

You blank at the pink petal between his fingers, and for a moment the puppet's mind whirs to life with questions of whether he had done something wrong, but you soon snap out of your trance with a laugh. The boy sits still, confused about your reaction.

"Thank you. You don't have to show it to me though." You say before snatching the soft object from him and swiftly placing it atop his own head.

You laugh at the expression on his face from your actions, and the puppet finds the wonderful sound brings a smile to his face. He doesn't quite understand why you did that, or why you're laughing, but he finds your joy infectious all the same.

II. Purple

Over time, the people of Tatarasuna as well as the puppet himself learned how he differed and how he was similar to the humans around him.

He felt pain and bled just like they did. Yet, he didn't seem to have a heart. He didn't need to eat or drink either, but he claimed that he could and that he wanted to do so to 'become more human'.

The puppet- now called Kabukimono by his peers- also didn't quite understand social ques and what was wrong or right. After finding out that humans would often disrobe and bathe when they became dirty, the puppet had tried to do the same in the nearby stream of village. That little event had a few people swiftly ushering him to put his clothes back on while laughing awkwardly; as if he was a child who didn't truly know what he was doing.

Which, in all honestly, was pretty much what he was. A child who knew nothing about the world or people around him. But he was learning.

The pastel purple clothing that he was so often seen in flowed freely in the breeze; the smell of lavender was picked up by the summer wind off his freshly washed robes and filled his nostrils with the calming scent. It was the smell that adorned him whenever you were the one responsible for washing his clothes (as you often took turns among the other villagers to look after him).

He had grown to love that scent.

"Just... like... this." You said as you dragged the teeth of the comb through his wet hair; letting the Kabukimono watch your actions through the mirror.

"Think you got it?" He nods at your question, and you hand him the comb.

His hand is steady as he mimics your previous movements; dragging the teeth of the light purple comb through the strands of dark indigo atop his head. After a few strokes, he pulls the comb away; a deep violet staining the teeth as if to remind him that he wasn't like you.

You smile at him. "Perfect! Just like that. Now you're all set to wash yourself next time you need to."

The Kabukimono stares down at the comb in his hands; staring down at the violet that taints the pastel shade. You had gotten him this comb, it was one of the first objects he had ever owned. And now, because of him, it was stained a dark purple from the dye that was used for his colour- that still coated his hair.

And yet, the same dark stain that now marred his gift from you had dyed your palms a similar shade to that of the comb- a bright, pastel purple. Originally, he had panicked and apologized profusely for staining you, for tainting you, but you merely had laughed and said you didn't mind. That it would go away eventually.

And while others wore gloves when taking care of him and his hair, you didn't. You let your fingertips run through the dark locks and dance across the top of his forehead; you let him feel the warmth and softness of your touch as you scrubbed the dirt and dust that had accumulated in his hair. You let his colour stain you; and somehow, you managed to make the dark purple such a bright and beautiful shade of lavender once it touched your skin.

"My... arms hurt. Can you do this for me?" He says quietly, turning towards you and holding the comb back up to you with a pleading look in his eyes. You smile, the corners of your eyes crinkling in adoration at the Kabukimono's barely-concealed lie.

You had done a lot to take care of him and teach him about various things; he knew that lying was 'bad' and that he shouldn't do it. But even so, on rare occasion- like right now- he would say something small that didn't match what you already knew. And it would always end up with you taking a little extra care of him then you otherwise would have.

You knew you shouldn't let him keeping lying, but he was so bad at telling them, and it was adorable how he yearned for attention... so you couldn't make yourself scold him for his behaviour. You let this lie slide like all the others.

"Alright, alright. Come on then, turn around."

You can see the corners of his mouth tip upward in a smile, however subtle, as he did as he was told and let you run both the comb and your fingers through his hair.

The Kabukimono couldn't help but watch your hands. To seek glimpses of the bright purple staining on your palms that could only have been from him. He always loved when the other humans would point out your coloured hands and comment on how you practically took sole care of him with how often your hands took on the familiar shade.

Even when he wasn't by your side like a loyal puppy, it was like a part of him was still with you. Even if at first he saw the colour as a stain upon your otherwise perfect skin, you had assured him that it was harmless, told him you liked the colour, even.

You had taught him that being 'selfish' is one of the 'bad' things, and he shouldn't be 'selfish'. But if it was so 'bad', then why did it feel good? Why did it feel good to leave a piece of him with you, as if to claim you as his own human?

The teeth of the comb grew ever darker as they sorted through his indigo hair.

III. Yellow

For a being that was supposedly crafted by the hands of the god of thunder, the Kabukimono couldn't help but jump at each loud roar of lightning that dared to light up the dark night.

"Oh, Kabuki..."

The puppet was shaking; his arms wrapped around his knees as he sat staring at the floor, trying to ignore each jolt of thunder only to be hyper aware of every crash of it outside the window.

The pity in your voice somehow comforted the puppet, even more so when you kneeled beside him to pull him into a hug.

"It's ok, you're not in any danger. The Electro Archon would never hurt us."

The Kabukimono still shook. Sure, she may never hurt you, but to him- every bolt that struck the earth was searching for him; the fruit of the anger and hatred he knew his mother held for him.

Each flash of lightning lit the inside of your warm home a bright yellow. A stark contrast to the usual deep purple of the electro element he knew so well.

Your hand smoothed over his back, the other wrapped around his shoulders as you held him close. Another flash had him jump once again; burying his face into your shoulder as if to try to hide from the storm.

"Oh, hey, hey... It's ok..." You tried to soothe him, your voice gentle and low as his arms wrapped around you to hold tightly to your clothes.

Your arms wrapped around him were warm, firm, secure, as if you were the one shielding him from the tumultuous rain and deafening thunder.

"Ok, c'mon, lets go to bed."

The boy in your arms sniffled as you pushed him away from you, guiding him towards your plush bed.

"B-But... My bed..." He mumbled out, his eyes falling onto a small mat off to the side that you had done your best to make comfortable. And as shabby as it was, the Kabukimono loved it. You had made it for him, after all.

"You won't be able to sleep if you're over there, will you? This storm doesn't look like it's going to stop anytime soon, so... Why don't you stay with me? That way, I can protect you."

The deep purples of his eyes were wide and glossy with tears at your proposal; but he swiftly nodded and climbed onto the bed with you following suit.

The two of you got settled underneath the blankets, and the Kabukimono couldn't tell if your bed was just more comfortable then his, or if he really liked being beside you that much more then being alone. He watched as you shifted around; moving the pillow you normally slept on to rest underneath his head as you lay flat on the mattress next to him.

You smiled at him, a smile that made his chest tighten and something within his artificial body malfunction. His breath caught in his throat at the feeling of your fingers brushing along the side of his face, pushing his bangs out of the way of his eyes.

"Do you think you'll be able to sleep? I'll be right here if you need me."

The rain was loud on the old glass of your home; a flash of lightning bringing attention to the lack of purple that the Kabukimono had so loved to see on your hands.

But the fear of the thunder triumphed over his sadness that his hair no longer stained your palms; and he couldn't help but jump at the noise that shook him to his core once again.

Trembling hands grabbed your soft, steady one and brought it up to his cheek. The Kabukimono rested your palm against his flesh, nuzzling into it even as he shook in fear. You couldn't help but pity him, the pad of your thumb brushing over his cheekbone as you indulged him.

"You won't leave me, right?" He says quietly, warily, as if he's afraid the storm will hear his weakness and aim straight for his non existent heart.

The smile you give him almost looks sad. But it remains as sweet as it always does nonetheless.

"Never."

"You promise?"

Another crash of thunder has him jump once again, but with your hand against his cheek, he's quick to recover.

"I promise."

He peers at you and sees no trace of malice; no trace of annoyance or deception or betrayal. All he sees is you; your beautiful smile and crinkled eyes, glistening even in the darkest of nights.

The next flash of yellow lightning that illuminates the two of you only proves to show that even against the Electro Archon herself; your light is so much brighter then anything the god could conjure to harm him.

He doesn't jump at the sudden thunder. Instead, he lets out a shaky breath and pulls you forward- bringing your head onto the pillow that you had given him before he buries his head right underneath your chin; pushing himself into your body as if he wished to become one with you.

You can't help but smile at his unintended affection. Your hands move to embrace him; to smooth over his back and run your fingers through his hair.

"It's... bad to break a promise." He mumbled into your chest. "You won't break your promise, right?"

You let out a soft chuckle, tightening your embrace as you let the boy cling to you for life.

"Of course I won't. I love you too much to hurt you like that."

Your words were accentuated with another jolt of thunder. Another flash of yellow. And then a second bolt of lightning- this time, right through the cavity where his heart would have been.

I love you.

The words repeated in his head like a prayer; and he nestled himself deeper into your embrace in an attempt to muffle his thoughts and hide the pink on his cheeks.

The innocent, pure little Kabukimono had heard the words before. Humans who were close, who kissed and slept in beds together would say it to one another. Humans who were bound for life by little bands of metal on their fingers would whisper it to eachother whenever they pleased.

His tongue burned- yearned to repeat the words back to you, but something inside of him refused. Rejected the idea of feeling the intimacy of human love... of the idea that he could be with you just like all the other humans who loved eachother.

That night, when the puppet and his human had fallen asleep, the Kabukimono found himself without a single dream.

IV. Blue

Even when the Kabukimono wasn't under your care for that day, he still hovered near to where you were.

The old woman who was tasked to care for him that day was a vile creature. One who refused to acknowledge the puppet as anything close to human; instead treating him as merely an object, a plaything, something that could do whatever she wanted of him without complaint.

Because the poor Kabukimono didn't know how.

The puppet watched from where he sat by a large bucket. His hands were filthy; red and sore from scrubbing away at the clothing that he was forced to wash by his current caretaker.

He watched as you bid farewell to your fellow villagers; a basket hung off your arm as you walked into the nearby woods.

Oh, how he longed to follow you. To see where you were off to, to accompany you and watch every move you made.

He looked down at the water in the bucket, browned with dirt and dust. Surely, the water flowing through the stream in the forest would be nice and clean, right?

He's quick to set everything aside; emptying the water into the nearby crops like he was instructed, and then following you into the forest.

It was like your presence had merely teased him; he stumbled blindly through the brush hoping that you would be found in this direction. That he could, at the very least, be able to lay his gaze upon you once more and lighten this heavy feeling in his chest.

What the Kabukimono hadn't thought about, though, was just what you may be doing out here in the forest. And what he saw when he finally approached the familiar babbling brook stole his artificial breath away- the feeling all to familiar to that time had first laid eyes upon you.

The water was a beautiful crystal blue; your clothing lay next to the stream, a telltale sign of what he had stumbled across.

You looked divine. Beautiful. The way the water ran by your bare form and dripped so deliciously from your skin had the puppet star-struck. Pink was quick to dust his pale cheeks.

Then, like an all-too-familiar flash of sickeningly-yellow thunder, a thought occurred to him.

He shouldn't be seeing this.

Sudden panic washed over him, a fear he had felt so many times before now baring it's fangs at him once more.

If you caught him, you would leave him too.

He bolted.

The trees rushed by him in a blur of green; sticks cracking beneath his feet as he retraced his path out of the forest. Birds flew and squirrels panicked as he went by them like the roaring wind; and finally he reemerged from the trees to the sight of the village before him.

He felt warm. He couldn't get the image of you out of his head. The picture of you bathing in such beautiful blue waters was ethereal. He felt his chest tighten even further at the memory.

"You damn puppet! Where have you been!?"

The Kabukimono's face paled instantly at the shrill sound.

"You thought you could just go for a stroll through the forest, huh?! You didn't even finish your chores!! And where's my water pail!?"

The voice boomed. It's origin angrily stomping up to him before grabbing his wrist so harshly, he was sure it would have bruised if he were human.

If he were human.

"You damned-... Can't you do anything right!?" The old woman shouted, dragging the shrinking boy along behind her and towards her old, decrepit house.

"I'm sorry-" He tried to speak, tried to make himself heard over the pounding in his ears.

The woman was like a constant flash of thunder; waiting for the perfect moment to strike the puppet where he stood. And this time, it looked like he was all alone in this storm.

The woman tossed open her front door before dragging the Kabukimono inside, harshly slamming the door shut before she turned to him with a wild look in her eye. The puppet looked absolutely pathetic as tears welled in the corners of his violet eyes.

She shouted at him. Cursed at him. Pushed, pulled, hit him in whatever way she felt fit to.

The Kabukimono shut his eyes, and recalled the divine scene he had stumbled across just a little while prior. He pictured you, standing within the crystal blue water of the stream, and he pictured himself standing infront of you. The sky such a rich, pale blue above the two of you as you found comfort in one another's embrace.

"Are you listening to me!?"

The puppet opened his eyes, and all he saw was blue. The world was blue, he was blue, the old woman was blue, and the constant patter of liquid splashing onto wood from his cheek was blue as well.

A sad, soulless, cold blue. The blue of loneliness and pain.

He remembered how beautiful you looked underneath the cherry blossoms that day he first met you. The shade of pale pink that so beautifully complimented the darker pink on his cheeks that day.

He remembered how tightly you held him under the flashes of yellow that threatened to consume him whole. How you told him you loved him- how you promised you would never leave him.

And he remembered the blue of the water running by your hips. The blue of the sky above, the blue of the cotton of your clothing.

The pounding in his ears was overwhelmingly loud.

A blue hand raised itself before him.

Before it could hit it's target, the pounding stopped.

Everything stopped.

V. Red

The world's colours had returned. But they were so much darker then before. As if drenched in thick shadows that clung even to the most well-lit areas.

And it was like the Kabukimono was just seeing the real world for the first time.

The green of the foliage outside had turned from a beautiful bright shade to a deep, forest colour. And even darker still were the greens inside; where moss and mildew grew along the corners of the old house, and the various stains from archons-know-what seemingly having appeared from nowhere now dotting the surroundings with the deepest shade of black.

The puppet had seen black before. But this was different. Darker. And it was like the entire world had been tainted by those stains of black.

Even the deep brown of the rotting wood below almost seemingly started turning black as a dark red seeped into it's pores.

Such a deep shade of red it was. The colour akin to the same that flowed freely from his cheek; although his was so much brighter then the vile woman who stained the floorboards.

No- if he wasn't a human, then she wasn't either. She was merely a creature, a worm- that now lie pathetically limp at his feet.

Her words, despite his attempt to drown them out, had seeped into his head regardless.

You will never be human.

You will never be wanted.

You will never be needed.

Perhaps she had been correct.

After all, she had only been repeating what he had been telling himself already.

But, if she was correct, then what did that make of the words that the other villagers had said? What, pray tell, did that make the humans themselves?

Liars. All of them. Filthy, red-stained liars.

They had never once truly cared about him. Merely tossing him scraps, at best; demanding that he do things for them and barely leaving him to fend for himself.

Barely giving him space in their village, barely caring to try and be 'polite' with him- even when they demanded that he be polite around everyone he interacted with.

At first, he just accepted it. Of course he did. The world was bright, colourful, beautiful- but now, he's seen it for what it truly is. He's seen the suffering, the pain, the lies; the shadows etched into every crevice of this forsaken world.

He knows that they had lied to him when they said they considered him a fellow human.

And you had taught him, the saint that you are, that liars are bad.

Oh, you... how beautiful you are. How wonderful and amazing and kind you are. Out of everyone in this damned, pathetic village, you had been the one to treat him like an equal. To treat him like a human.

To love him like a human.

His chest tightened at the memory of your voice above his head that night; "I love you" falling so effortlessly from your lips as you held him close.

Archons, you loved him. You promised him you would never leave him. And you had never broken your promises before.

You loved him.

Deep purple eyes fell to the human shaped insect on the floor. And a laugh bubbled up from within him.

He did something bad. Terrible. He had made the woman who hurt him stop moving.

But it felt good.

And if it felt so good, then... why stop?

He was already stained a deep, dark black. He could never go back to being as pure as you had seen him. Perhaps, he had always been this way- perhaps that's why his so called 'mother' and her fox-pet had decided to seal away what was rightfully his. The power that she had inlaid within him.

The power that now pounded so freely through him. And it seemed like the only way to silence it was to let it go.

As the puppet exited the house, a trail of red followed behind him. Electro crackled at his fingertips as he walked towards the center of the village, and he revelled in the hushed and desperate whispers of the humans he passed by.

The pounding in his ears- in his head- only grew stronger with each passing second. The crackling electro a disgusting shade of darkened, tainted yellow as it emanated from him.

And like a bolt of thunder that once had scared him so; flashes of yellow now flew through the open air and showed no mercy to the humans he was surrounded by.

Screams filled the air, filled his ears- and all he could do was laugh. Such pathetic insects, all scrambling to seek shelter from his divine wrath. It was chaotic, beautiful, as red stained the ground and painted the houses in it's corruption.

A gentle breeze kissed the cheek that had rapidly healed it's wound. With it, it brought delicate pale pink petals from the sakura trees that were so abundant in this land.

The village fell still. Nothing but the blossoms that danced on the wind dared to move; to catch the eye of the puppet-murderer.

"K-Kabuki...?"

A voice so small called out to him, stirring him from his thoughtless-thoughts.

He turned to you, and it was like your very presence made the surrounding area brighten to how it was before. Suddenly the world was perfect again; bright and happy and welcoming and loving.

Your eyes, so beautiful and vibrant, were wide and tinged with fear. Your hair was still wet- evidence of your bath, but all it served was to remind the puppet of what he had seen. Of the divinity he had been so blessed to witness.

You didn't move as he walked up to you. You couldn't. Shock had it's tight grasp on your body and mind, and you were unable to even speak at the bloody scene around you.

The puppet smiled so sweetly at you. And despite being the same smile as he had always given you, it no longer looked so innocent.

"I love you." He said, voice proud and unwavering.

Your eyes darted to meet his. He looked so...

dark.

"What...?" You couldn't even process what he said.

"You said you loved me that night, and I never said it back. I love you, (Y/N)."

"What-... what did you do..?" Your voice trailed off into a pathetic whisper, and it made the puppet smirk as his hand moved up to cup your cheek- much like how yours had once done for him.

"They were... bad. All of them. They could have hurt you, like they did to me..." The pad of his thumb spread a deep red over your skin as it rubbed your cheek. "But you love me. You promised you would never leave me. And I know you would never hurt me like they did..."

It was like his eyes had become gateways to the abyss itself; dark, devoid of life- of the boy you had once loved. Black stained his beautiful purple irises; tainted the beautiful colour with darkness and something sinister. Just like the blood that now stained your cheek.

The puppet-murderer intently watched your face drain of colour; intently watched as your pupils shrunk into pinpricks- and made note of your body starting to tremble.

He knew the signs of fear- he himself had expressed the same many times before. He knew you were scared. His chest felt like it tightened around a non-existent heart... he didn't want to see you scared. Not of him.

"...They were going to hurt you. I-I heard them. T-They were waiting for you to come back, a-and they would have... I-I couldn't let them do that. I couldn't let them be bad. I-I wanted to protect you..."

You still continued to tremble. It was like you had barely heard the lie he had told- but you didn't push him away when he pulled you into a cold, blood-stained embrace. And that was enough for him.

"I will... protect you. Stay with you. I will... be good for you."

...another lie. He was no longer good- he could never be good again. His soul- his hands- were now permanently stained red... a red that would be drained of colour as soon as you left his side- and he refused to be seen with that vile black ick. He refused to let you go.

It was almost sickening how swiftly he was able to return to how he was just hours ago... innocent, sweet, gentle. Even as the vibrant crimson stained his once-white flesh. Tainted him. Changed him.

As you gazed at him with a slacked-jaw expression, you could see the surrounding area- the massacred village- devoid of colour... of life. As if the puppet-murderer had drained the pinks and purples and blues and reds and it all congregated into a swirling black in the center of his beautiful indigo irises.

Was your beautiful, sweet little puppet-boy always so... heartless?

The way he pressed his lips to yours was robotic. Stiff and almost forced- but you knew that this was just his way of doing things, until he got used to it.

Until he got used to kissing you. Loving you. Tainting you.

A colourless tear cascaded down your cheek, your eyes closed as the puppet continued to kiss you as sweetly and gently as he could.

When he pulled away, he gently took your hands into his own, and looked down to see you trembling in his grasp. He noticed just how pretty your hands were covered in red.

And his violet eyes flicked up to your face, your hair- his red-stained fingers reaching up to pluck a crimson petal from your hair.

The pretty pink looked good on you, he once thought.

But he thinks you look so much better covered in red.

#reader insert #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche x reader #kabukimono x reader #wanderer x reader #yandere scaramouche #yandere #yandere genshin impact #yandere x you #yandere wanderer

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demonpiratehuntress · 11 months

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the best gift is you

OPLA!Zoro x F!Reader

Summary - You're having an incredibly difficult time finding an appropriate birthday present for Zoro.

Warnings - none, i think? I just wrote this right after hosting a soccer festival for an orphanage at my club, so I'm pretty much dead but wanted to get something out for my favourite Straw Hat's birthday <3 please excuse any errors, and happy birthday Zoro <3 <3 <3

"Usopp! Come with me."

You were just dragging the confused and slightly startled sharpshooter - because why did you want him to go shopping with you? - across the deck when you heard your boyfriend call out to you.

"Where are you going?"

You froze, having not expected him to be up from his nap so soon, "Um, grocery shopping?"

He frowned, "I can go with you."

"No!" You said quickly, then backtracked when you noticed how he became even more confused - and slightly hurt. "I mean, sorry babe but I really need Usopp's help with this specific trip."

This only confused the swordsman more, but before he could argue you were pulling the blabbering, protesting Usopp off the ship and into the small town. You could explain later, and make it up with the present, because you wanted this to be a surprise.

Zoro was left more puzzled than ever, wondering why you didn't even want him to go with for protection. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, so he guessed you must have your reasons. Then it hit him.

Oh...no.

"You two fighting or something?" Sanji asked from above.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Was Zoro's snarky response, coupled with an annoyed eyeroll. Sanji scoffed, but even he knew better than to further antagonise the already upset swordsman.

A few hours later...

"Ugh! Why is this so hard?!"

Your frustrated protest alarmed your crewmate, who had been eyeing a pair of sniper goggles at a nearby stand. You were practically pulling your hair out, on the verge of hot, angry tears, and your bottom lip was trembling.

"I can't go back without one!"

"You still haven't told me exactly what we're looking for," Usopp reminded you.

"Something Zoro would like," you sighed, "Or need. But there's nothing here. And it's almost dark out."

"Can't you just find something at the next island?"

"No! It has to be today, it has to..." You trailed off, biting your lip and trying your hardest to hold back tears.

"Why?"

"I...Because it has to."

You'd spent the last few hours scouring every shop on this island, but you had no idea what to get your boyfriend. He already had everything he needed, and there was nothing he wanted to your knowledge, so he was pretty difficult to shop for. He wasn't a typical boyfriend, that much you knew, so matching chains or charms wouldn't be appropriate. It was bugging you so much that you wanted to cry.

"Let's get back to the ship."

You took off before Usopp could question you, so he just followed without a word. Your behaviour baffled him, and slightly worried him, but he wasn't going to press any more if you didn't want to tell him. When you both got back to the ship, the green-haired swordsman was anxiously pacing the deck - the first time Usopp had seen him this nervous. The first time any of them - minus you - had seen him this nervous. But when you boarded, he breathed a sigh of relief.

His relief quickly morphed into concern when he noticed your eyes glistening with tears, and within seconds he was in front of you, hands gripping your forearms gently.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," you choked out, the tears free-falling. "I couldn't find anything. I looked everywhere. I looked so hard. I don't know...I didn't...I'm sorry..." You tried to wipe your tears away, but he beat you to it.

Usopp was long gone, not sticking around to see yours and Zoro's inevitable affection - the rest of the crew seemed allergic to your displays. So Zoro pulled you close, wrapping his strong arms around your waist. He reached up with one hand to brush the tears falling away, his expression softening.

"Hey," he spoke softly, "Look at me." He continued only once you met his gaze, "I don't need anything. I don't want anything. You are enough, okay? More than enough, actually. You don't need to get me anything, because you've already given me the greatest gift in the world. You." He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, letting his lips linger there for a few seconds.

A soft blush crossed your cheeks, the disappointment in you slowly deflating until it was nothing more than an afterthought. You sniffled as you smiled up at him, your body filling with warmth at his words - and at the look of absolute love and adoration he was blessing you with right now.

"I love you. You are all that I want, and all that I need. Don't ever apologise for something as silly as a birthday gift."

Before you could protest, his lips were on yours and he was locking you in the most loving, passionate kiss he had ever given you. He was trying to convey his message through the kiss, proving that you were all he craved. Proving that you were his favourite gift of all.

"I love you too," you smiled even more when he pulled away to let you breathe - ironically you were breathless.

"Good, now can we please go and sleep?"

You laughed, allowing him to pick you up and carry you off to bed.

"Whatever the birthday boy wants."

"Whatever I want, huh?"

"I thought you wanted to sleep!"

"...Changed my mind."

#one piece live action #opla #opla zoro #zoro x reader #opla x reader #zoro x you #opla zoro x reader #roronoa zoro

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httpwintersoldier · 11 months

Note

if you feel comfortable, can you write a one shot about Bucky and the reader (gender doesn’t matter) navigating intimacy after Bucky’s years with Hydra?

comfortable || bucky barnes smut one-shot

ᴄᴡ: ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ's ᴘᴀsᴛ ᴛʀᴀᴜᴍᴀ ; sʟᴏᴡ sᴇx ᴛᴜʀɴs ɪɴᴛᴏ ʀᴏᴜɢʜ sᴇx

Bucky loved you beyond words could describe, but he was a tormented individual, to no one's disbelief.

But you were patient with him - and that killed him. He knew you wanted to have walks in public while holding his hand, but he was too afraid someone was keeping track of him. He knew you wanted to go to the beach and have fun, but he knew people would stare at his arm and eventually come up to him. And most of all, Bucky knew you wanted him to fuck you. He knew from the way you stared at his hands and thighs, from the way you'd shiver when his hand brushed against a less-than-appropriate way, and the way you'd tense up when his morning wood pressed against your ass.

But it had been too long, and it was a situation that would leave him too vulnerable - plus, the super soldier wasn't even sure he could still do it properly.

The man had made small attempts over the couple months you had been together, however. He would pull you onto his lap, bring your body closer to his while lying in bed and going behind you and pressing hus body against yours. But before you could get too far, he would back out entirely.

It would leave him with a painful boner that he would have to take care of in the shower, while it only left you confused and uncertain.

The first few downs you assumed it was nervousness, but as time passed you became more insecure, and so you voiced your concerns carefully, afraid that the relationship would deteriorate because of this.

"Uh, hey Buck?" You called from the door of his bedroom

He turned the wheely chair around to face you.

"Yeah, doll?"

The nickname alone said with that deep, intimidating voice of his, sent a tingle all over your body.

"Listen uh... Do you think I'm hot?"

You basically had to rip the question out of yourself. Bucky's eyes widened and his face got a bit of a blush mostly hidden by his beard.

The man instantly stood up and walked to you, his hands carefully holding your hips.

"Princess I- of course! Of course I do!" The soldier stopped to press a kiss to your cheek "Where is this coming from?" He asked, searching for something in your eyes as he furrowed his brows.

"Then do I kiss badly? Or do you just... not like the way I touch you?"

Bucky's blush grew intense and he chuckled nervously.

"Y/N, what's going on?"

You took a deep breath and bit your lip, looking at the ground as you collected your thoughts.

"Why..." the words were caught in your throat, a little afraid of the response, but you were too deep to back out now, knowing Bucky wouldn't just drop it "Why don't we have sex? I mean, we've been dating for a while now, did I do something?"

Bucky's eyes became docile, and his face softened.

"Oh, princess..." He said, cupping your face softly as he pressed a kiss onto your lips and caressed your cheeks with his thumbs "I'm sorry I made you feel like that. Really, I am. It's got nothing to do with you, trust me, you have no idea how much I want to fuck you."

The little comment had your face feeling hot and you tried (and failed) to supress the little smile that crept on your lips.

You looked into his eyes, hoping for him to continue the explanation. You could tell that it wasn't easy for him, so you grabbed his hand and pulled him down to sit with you on the bed, waiting patiently for him to feel comfortable. You wanted him to know he didn't need to rush, that you'd wait and listen.

After a couple of seconds he sighed and looked into your eyes, a mix of sadness, sorrow, longing and fear painted on his face.

"My love... I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen, but I... it's- it's been a long time. It takes me a little longer to connect to and trust people, I've told you this. But physical contact is even harder, I'm not exactly used to contact other than violence. I don't know what I like anymore, I don't know if I can properly do the things you like - shit, I don't even know if I could, you know, perform well."

You smiled softly, bringing his stressed face to look at you. One of your hands caressed his non-vibranium hand.

"Bucky... I wish you would've told me this earlier. We can start slowly and take our time. Tell each other what we enjoy and what we don't, and we can stop whenever. That's part of a relationship, okay? Does that sound good to you?"

The Sargeant smiled shyly, a beautiful smile that he seldom showed but you loved oh so much, and nodded.

"Sounds great, doll."

"But you have to promise to tell me if you feel uncomfortable, please. I don't care if you think I feel good and don't want to stop me, this is about you as well, okay?"

The man smiled wider at the way you could read him perfectly and prevent something he would 100% do.

"I promise."

You straddled his lap and enveloped him in a hug, loving the way his big arms wrapped around you. When you pulled away from the hug, you cupped his face and placed a loving kiss onto his lips.

Bucky chased your lips, making the kiss a little deeper and perverted.

"How about we begin the project now?" He asked with a smile bringing his hands to caress your hips.

You could feel a tent forming under you, and you guessed Bucky really wasn't kidding when he said he wanted to fuck you.

"Sounds good..."

Bucky was hungry for you, but he took it slow, as you did. His hands discreetly moved down to your ass, grabbing it and pulling your body closer so your crotch was directly on top of his very evident boner.

You moaned, knowing the vocal confirmation would please Bucky - and it did. The soldier smiled into the kiss and deepened it.

Your hands were tangled in his hair, caressing it and tugging on it softly. The man mimicked your noises into the kiss as well, his hands grabbing your ass in a rough yet pleasurable way.

You grinded down on his boner, your moaning increasing and his breathing quickening as you felt his hardened lenght rub between your folds.

You pulled away, feeling hot, overwhelmed and needy. You were looking at him with big eyes and plump lips from his small bites.

"It's okay if you don't want to go all the way." You said, secretly hoping he would continue.

Bucky kissed your neck sloppily, and then the spot under your ear.

"I want to fuck you dumb against every surface of this house." He whispered in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

You only responded by connecting your lips in a hungry, animalistic kiss, trying your best to undo his jeans with one hand. You slipped your hand inside his boxers, feeling how hard he was and the wet spot from the leaking precum.

"Please... Don't tease me. I'm not lasting." The soldier pleaded, soft eyes looking at you as he caressed your hair.

You placed your hand on his chest and slowly pushed him down on the bed.

"Let me take care of you, Buck." You said enticingly, as you knelt between his legs.

You pulled down his pants and underwear just enough so his cock would spring out. Your hands caressed his thighs as you kissed around his pelvic bone, Bucky's hand tangling in your hair.

When you finally gripped his cock and placed his tip on your lips, a satisfied and desperate grunt left his lips.

You bobbed your head up and down his lenght, your hand following, taking more and more of him each time.

Bucky's tip abused the back of your throat, and his grip on your hair tightened slightly.

"Y/N shit- I wanna fuck you-" He pleaded, looking down into your eyes.

Bucky held your face and brought you up to connect your lips, gripping your hips to flip you two around, but you stopped him.

"I'm taking care of you." You said, kissing his neck.

Your boyfriend's grip on you softened. You removed your bottoms, earning a groan from him, and straddled the man again. You then grabbed his cock and aligned it with your entrance.

Bucky moaned lowly and his eyes darkened when he watched you sink down on his cock.

The man tugged on your shirt and you removed it, then feeling the cold metal of his hand brush past your sensitive nipples.

"So beautiful..." He muttered under his breath.

You supported yourself by placing your hands on his chest, the sound of your ass hitting against him filling the room along with your noises.

"Y/N- I don't know how much longer I can last..." Bucky said, mouth hung open and eyes shut.

"Cum in me baby, come on, fill me up..." You whined, your eyes clouded with darkness and lust that sent Bucky over the moon.

His grip on your ass tightened as he thrust up into you and brought your body down with force, hitting spots you thought impossible, making you bordeline scream in pleasure.

It wasn't long before he buried his cock deep in you with one last thrust, covering your walls with his cum.

Small mewls left your mouth as you felt him.

You got off of him and fell by his side breathless.

"My turn to make you feel good..."

Before you could protest, his head was between your legs eating you out, uncaring about the cum leaking out of you.

"Still got it." Bucky said with a shit eating grin as he felt you grip his hair.

"Shut up..." You replied breathlessly.

Bucky kept sucking and licking your folds and clit, his thick, vibranium fingers finding your entrance.

You were already close from his cock, and, eating you out like that, it didn't take long before you were cumming with a loud cry, incoherently trying to say his name.

When he laid beside you again, the man wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close. You pressed a wet kiss to his jaw and laid your head on his shoulder.

"You might regret doing that..." Bucky said smugly, referring to the previous activity.

"Why?" You asked with a pout, earning a smirk and a kiss from your boyfriend.

"Cause now I wanna make up for the 78 years I didn't have sex for."

#bucky #bucky smut #marvel #bucky fanfic #bucky reader insert #bucky barnes #marvel fanfiction #bucky x reader #winter soldier #bucky barnes smut #winter soldier smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barns x reader #bucky x you #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #james barnes smut #bucky fluff #bucky x y/n

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ivelle-serenity · 5 months

Text

Skateboard 2

Wind breaker

author's note: This is a slow-burn story, but don't worry, it will have smut. I actually want to speed things up so we can have those kinds of scenes. btw, I want my story to have action as well, so yeah.

✧˖° — windbreaker men

✧˖° — mdni, smut, description of not safe for work content.

I had sworn off biking. I refused to touch those pedals again after what happened. That bike wouldn't control my life anymore. It nearly wrecked my grades. That's why I'm in Korea now, to get things back on track. Hoping for a fresh start.

But now, recalling my challenge to those guys, everything flipped. I was mad at myself. None of this would have happened if Wooin had just bought the bike yesterday.

I dropped my skateboard with a sigh, eyeing my bike. I moved away, ready to start skating. I had told Jay in class earlier that we'd meet at the skatepark. He didn't react much, so I took that as a green light.

After landing a slick slide move, I smoothly spun my skateboard. Flip tricks were my jam, the source of my skating joy. But I didn't stop there. I tackled the tallest ramp and smoothly glided down, board stuck to my feet. I leaned, balancing my body for the drop. That move was my specialty, grabs/airs.

I sensed someone watching me. Adjusting my helmet and my curly hair, I grinned when I saw Jay nearby, looking serious by my bike. He held his bike but wasn't riding.

His friends chattered, but he was lost in thought, focused on me. It quickened my pulse, but I didn't let it show.

"You're late," I quipped, skateboard in hand.

"Please don't say you want to race here?!" Dom's dramatic reaction cut in.

I noticed they were with a few girls and a guy. Some of them are my classmates so i'm kinda familiar with their names.

"Why? Nervous?" I teased, removing my helmet.

"But isn't this unfair? Jay's not used to biking in a place like this. You have the upper hand," the girl with pink hair pointed out.

"She's got a point," Dom's friend chimed in. "Plus, who races in a skatepark?" Her tone dripped with sarcasm.

"Plenty do," I replied calmly, though a bit irritated. "This is just nothing if you really know how to bike."

My words hung in the air, making everyone pause. All eyes turned to Jay, who had been quietly observing me. He seemed to be deciphering my expression, his own unreadable. Mysterious yet undeniably attractive. I arched an eyebrow at him.

"Ready to race or not?"

He sighed. "I was just waiting for you to finish." His brief but serious response caught me off guard.

A small smirk played on my lips. This is getting interesting. I quickly went to my bike. I wasn't sure if my outfit was race-appropriate since I didn't have any history of serious racing or tournament participation. I was just wearing a cropped long-sleeve cardigan with matching pants.

I glanced at Jay beside me and saw him adjusting his helmet. His expression was serious as he watched the slide-like structure where I had been playing earlier.

"Miss, if Jay wins, can you do my assignment too? Pretty please?" Dom suddenly appeared beside me. I just shook my head before laughing.

"Yeah, sure."

"That girl has the same vibe as Jay. Am I the only one who notices that?" one of Dom's friends remarked. If I recall correctly, his friends had called him Minu earlier, so that might be his name.

"They're both smart. But in biking? I don't think so," the girl with pink hair chimed in irritably.

Glancing at Jay, who was observing me, I couldn't resist teasing him. "Is that your girlfriend? She seems a bit whiny. Is that your type?"

"No, she's not," he replied simply.

"So that's not Shelly?"

He shot me a cold look, as if he didn't appreciate me mentioning his girlfriend's name. That's not my fault! I was just confused because he was with that girl earlier when he arrived. So I assumed she was Shelly. But obviously, judging from Jay's expression, she wasn't his girlfriend.

"Calm down, I was just asking," I chuckled before resting my arms on the handlebars.

"You're so noisy," he said emotionlessly.

I grinned. "Your girlfriend's not here? No moral support from her?"

"Why do you keep asking me about her?" he furrowed his brows. I raised my hands in a playful surrender.

He was cute when he got riled up.

"Just like I said, I was just asking."

"Then stop asking. Let's just get this over with. I still have to study," he replied flatly.

I paused as I remembered that I also needed to study. We had a quiz tomorrow. Jay noticed my reaction, so I avoided his gaze. What does he think? Does he think he's the only one allowed to worry about his studies? But that's the same reason I'm here in Korea.

"You're right. I still need to review too," I added, noticing the disbelief on his face.

I positioned myself, noting the arrival of the girl in pink in front of us. She looked serious and appeared to be the one starting our race with Jay. I glanced at Jay again, seeing him focus intently on the slide structure ahead, probably calculating equations in his mind.

"Aria, please start! I still don't have my physics assignment!" Dom pleaded, thinking Jay could easily win.

"Okay... Are you ready, Jay?" Aria asked, and Jay nodded.

"Aren't you going to ask me?" I said with a frown.

She smirked, "No, why bother?"

Annoyed, I rolled my eyes. When Aria counted down to three, Jay swiftly started biking, and I leaned casually on my bike as he took off. Was he really taking this seriously? It seemed like he wanted to give me a hard time with his assignments.

"What's she doing?"

"Why isn't she speeding up?"

As Jay approached the curve, I increased my pedaling speed. I heard gasps from Jay's friends. I grinned as I managed to keep up with Jay, surprising him. He glanced at me with disbelief but I kept pedaling. I sensed his hesitation due to the pavement's condition. I accelerated to avoid losing balance, knowing my bike might veer off if it hit a rough spot.

"Fuck! Is she really going through there?" Dom exclaimed.

"Does she want to get hurt? That's dangerous!" his girlfriend chimed in.

My bike soared through the air, and I adjusted my body to maintain control. Jay followed suit, but his landing wasn't as smooth due to his slower speed. He hadn't accelerated enough. I even executed a Wheelie trick to stabilize my bike, almost reaching the finish line.

My attention faltered when I spotted a guy with red hair from a distance. I furrowed my brows, instantly losing focus because of it.

"Seriously," I muttered, noticing Vinny's crew in the distance.

Why were they here? Damn it. Vinny's insults about being a girl echoed in my mind. I remembered how I insulted their crew, saying biking was for kids, but here I was racing against my classmate.

My bike slowed down, giving Jay the chance to speed past me and win. Frustration etched on my face as I crossed the finish line after him.

"What was that?" Jay approached me. Anger was evident on his face.

"W-What do you mean?" I forced a laugh. "Oh come on, don't tell me you actually believe I'd win?"

He stared at me intensely. Sweaty and breathless, we locked eyes, his filled with anger.

"You did it on purpose. We both knew you would win, but why did you do that?"

“I didn’t do anything, Jay.” I said with full confidence. . "I was just bored, so I challenged you. There's no way I'll join your crew."

I couldn't tell if I was lying to myself or speaking the truth. A part of me resists joining their crew because, as I said, I'm done with biking. But being around this man changes everything. Because of him, I find myself wanting to be part of their group. To enter their competitions. I want to understand him better, to get closer to him. How is it that he effortlessly exudes such allure? He's not supposed to be my type. I mean, I have no right to call anyone a nerd when I've been called that myself. But something about him draws me in.

But of course, that's just a fantasy. He has a girlfriend. And trust me, the moment I learned she's beautiful, I quickly dismissed any thoughts about Jay from my mind.

"Don't worry; I'll still do your assignment--" I added.

"Let's do it again," Jay interrupted firmly, surprising me. "I won't accept the result if I know you let me win that easily."

"You're crazy; I just told you that you're really good--"

"What's happening here?" We both stopped when Vinny spoke behind me. Jay's friends also approached. I felt the tension between the two crews.

"What's that trash doing here?" Dom's expression changed upon seeing Joker and Wooin.

"Why didn't you invite us to your race, Demitra? I would love to see you win against their so-called ace," Wooin's tone was challenging.

"You're friends with them?" Minu asked. I was about to shake my head when Vinny spoke up.

"If she was, what about it?" Vinny's tone was dangerous, causing me to back up. He was now at eye level with Jay. Dom was supposed to say something but Vinny cut him off.

I tightened my grip on my palm. "This is becoming interesting," Wooin exclaimed with excitement. He was with Hyuk and Joker, exchanging glances with the Hummingbird crew.

Vinny scoffed. "So this is your training? Racing against a girl?" He said it disbelievingly to Jay.

"Since when did you start putting down girls?" Dom asked, annoyed. "Did you do this to Shelly before?"

Vinny stayed quiet.

I clenched my fist. I couldn't believe it. I recently found out from Sunny High students that Vinny used to be part of Hummingbird. Now that I realized he was friends with these people, especially Jay's girlfriend, it only fueled my anger even more.

How could he respect girl riders in Hummingbird but disrespect me? We may not be close, but he had no right to insult my abilities.

I shot Wooin a glare. "Just go. Take your crew and leave," I said firmly, trying to contain my frustration. The smirk vanished from Wooin's face, replaced by a scowl. He exchanged a tense look with me before muttering a curse and adjusting his hair in irritation.

"Fine," he turned away and motioned to his friends, especially Vinny. "We'll wait. Finish your little chat with the nerds first," he added with a sneer.

"Who're you calling a nerd, jerk?" Dom almost lunged forward but was held back by Yuna. Minu and June looked equally irritated, while Jay maintained a watchful gaze on me.

Mia, looking confused and concerned, spoke up, "What's gotten into Vinny? He's never like this, especially not with us or with riders like Shelly."

Minu's response was short and sharp, "He's just being an idiot, plain and simple."

My chest tightened as I realized they knew Vinny's behavior because they were close to him. It meant Vinny wasn't naturally disrespectful towards women; there was something personal here, and I couldn't fathom what it was besides our rocky start.

"I'll handle your assignment later," I told Jay, trying to diffuse the tension.

He met my eyes with a steely gaze. "No. We'll do it together."

I blinked in surprise. "W-What?"

"That race wasn't fair," Jay explained evenly. "I won't let you take the fall for it alone," he added, a touch of determination in his voice.

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obislittleone · 11 months

Text

Your Beauty Never Ever Scared Me

Dbf!Joel Miller x College!Reader

A/n: Listen… I don’t have any excuse for ditching my other three active series except for tiktok made me do it… That, and the CLM series by @macfrog has ascended me to a new level of crazy and I just needed an outlet for it somewhere. Another shoutout to @theatrelove3000 who keeps putting up with my dbf joel shenanigans, they are indeed insane.

Warnings: girl this whole concept should be a warning but anyways… age gap, some fluff, light smut, uncomfortable situations with readers father… probably some editing mistakes bc ya girl is tired ok its 2am

Please be kind to this chapter, I actually like it, despite the horrors.

Decided on the song ‘Mary On A Cross‘ by Ghost for this one bc it fits ig.

MASTERLIST

Age gap is approximately 15 years or so, reader is over 21 and joel is about 37

"I think I'd probably only slow'ya down," you chuckled, looking to Sarah who seemed to read the displeasure off your face from your dad's offer. "I'm studyin' to be an archeologist, dad. I don't know nothin' about framin' and all that house buildin'..."

Maybe it had been your dad's idea, but he wasn't the one who planted it into his own head. Joel subtly turned to you and cooly uttered a response.

"You could work on interior stuff with me."

It had been almost three days.

You looked out the window to the front of your house repeatedly to try and remember it clearly. The drive home, the kiss, and how abruptly it ended with a promise to see each other around. You thought about it so often you almost wondered if it happened the way you perceived it, if any details had been skewed in your mind simply because you wanted to keep it there, fresh, untouched. Maybe he thought of it differently... but maybe he didn't.

"Did you bring home the stuff I asked ya?" Your dad came into the kitchen with a smile, embracing you with a side hug and turning to help you unpack the groceries.

"Course' I did, Pa," you handed him the bag with the six-pack of bud and the other one full of snacks.

It was the first Rangers game night, and as per tradition, that meant the company of the next-door neighbors. It had been a while since you'd been around to enjoy it, but now that you were back, there were quite a few more reasons why you were on edge to now participate. It would look weird if you came up with an excuse not to be there, and you knew that. You also knrw that you'd gotten into a rather complicated entanglement with your father's closest friend, and weren't sure what the outcome really was.

Had that driveway light not spooked you both apart, and had that little black stray cat not made an appearance, how far would it have gone? Things were pretty heated, but even still. Would he have said something? Maybe along the lines of 'I've known you since you were sixteen, and this isn't appropriate at all.'

You didn't have time to think about it, you were set to work on helping your dad cook dinner for the soon-arriving neighbors. Dinner and a baseball game, once a relaxing and enjoyable time to bond with your dad, now turned into an anxiety fest where you were convinced you'd have to walk on pins and needles around every topic.

"So," your dad piped up from his silence at the stove, stirring the pot of chili he'd been prepping. "Joel told me he gave you a ride 'few nights back."

You knew it was harmless, and that he wasn't asking for any reason, other than that he was probably curious. You hadn't seen Joel in a while, not since two Christmases ago. Your dad had driven up to Dallas to spend both Thanksgiving and Christmas with you last year, and you didn't come home for summer break given an internship opportunity. You must have seemed different to the man in some way. All grown up.

"Yeah, gave me a ride n' saved me at the bar," you chuckled, trying to seem playful and unsuspicious about the encounter.

He seemed to be confused, his brows furrowed and a funny look on his face.

"Whad'ya mean he saved ya?" he of course was continuing to speak all the while dumping his favorite spices into the pot of chili, looking across here and now to keep engaged.

"Just scared off some weirdo who couldn't take no for an answer," you let a sweet and genuine smile fall across your features, but didn't let it get out of hand. Your relationship with your father was airtight, and he could read you pretty damn well. You weren't going to give anything away, not with what was potentially on the line.

"Glad he was there," he replied with a chuckle, sending you a soft glance. "Never thought you'd have grown up so fast, now I gotta carry a shotgun whenever we go places. Fend off the wild beasts."

His jokes were only so funny now, because in this situation, you knew he wouldn't hesitate to shoot Joel if he found out what had happened. All in the nature of protecting you, but it made you sad to think of the situation that way. Joel wasn't just another weirdo following you around at a bar.

"It's only because I'm so pretty," you did your best to respond lightheartedly, making a quip that would soothe the silence. "And I believe that's yours and Mama's fault, givin' me the genes and what not."

You'd finished chopping a nice garden salad by the time the doorbell rang. You ran upstairs to change your shirt to the Jersey your dad bought you for your birthday, claiming it was good luck for the team. Truth be told, you didn't wanna be downstairs when Joel and Sarah got here.

Sarah was here, too. Her, you could easily handle. You were almost hoping that she would be in a rather talkative mood, that way the attention could be swayed to her inconspicuously. You doubted Joel would even try to talk to you, anyway.

"Lovebug, come on down, Millers are here!" Your dad shouted up, even though he saw you run upstairs right when the doorbell rang to change your shirt.

"I'm comin', hold on," you replied sassily while heading for the staircase.

You got to the bottom and had to take a breath before turning the corner into the entryway. Joel stood there with a sweet smile to you, and you tried your best to hold back the one you wore. It was too bright, too happy to see him. All despite your nerves.

You were quickly embraced by Sarah, whom you paid immediate attention to.

"My lordy, girl," you held up your hand by your shoulder to show the height difference, "last time I saw you, you must've been this tall."

"Dad tells me I'm growing like a weed," she tossed a finger over her shoulder to where he was standing, and you gave him a small glance and a smile.

"Us daughters do have a tendency to grow up," you laughed, slinging an arm around Sarah and pulling her along to the kitchen as your dad and Joel did the same behind you.

Why had you been so anxious? Joel is happy to see you. He makes causal conversation with your dad, but he catches your eye every chance he gets. His expression doesn't change, except for the tug of his lips in a smile that's barely there. Joel doesn't smile too often, except apparently when you and Sarah are around.

It doesn't take long for everyone to get situated with their food at the table, playful banter between Joel and your father filling the air as you made less rambunctious chatter with Sarah.

She's doing pretty well since last you saw her. She was always a bright girl, but as she grew it became more apparent that she would probably excel further than anyone in her graduating class. You were sitting across from a future valedictorian, you were sure.

You'd tried to ask her about her out of school interests before your dad interrupted with a question.

"How about you, lovebug?" He watched your eyes flick over to him with a turn of your head. He added context, given you hadn't been listening to them earlier. "Are you gonna look for a summer job?"

You really should, if you're being honest. There's not much work in your aspiring profession located here, but you weren't as lucrative as you used to be, given your educational expenses.

"I've thought about it," you tilted your head back and forth, and your dad seemed to need more from your answer. "I need to earn some cash before I get back to Dallas, but I'm not really sure where to apply."

Sarah seemed to know where this was going before you did. She'd been around the last time your dad was begging Joel to find some help for the contracting team they worked with. But surely your dad doesn't expect you to build houses, does he? Your dream job is to dig holes in the ground, not fill them in and put homes on top.

"We got some spaces to fill, you should come work with us 'few months. The pay's good and you don't have to stay on long, probably just till the end of July."

You gave him a look, and he instantly knew you weren't interested, but you figured you'd try and justify your reasoning. It was an argument either way.

Maybe it had been your dad's idea, but he wasn't the one who planted it into his own head. Joel subtly turned to you and cooly uttered a response.

"You could work on interior stuff with me."

Did he just-?

"S'not much more fun than what your dad's been doin,' but at least it's out of the sun, and easier to learn."

You were almost dumbfounded. Your dad offering you a job that potentially could give you heat stroke with your lack of experience seemed like the worst idea in the world... but working on interior projects? With Joel of all people? Well, that didn't sound so bad.

You didn't want your dad to catch on, of course. Being so protestant of his suggestion, but then falling right into it as soon as Joel was the one to offer would be a dead giveaway to some sort of favoritism to his best buddy. It simply wouldn't look right.

"What kinda interior stuff?"

He smirked. The motherfucker was smirking. He knew you'd changed your mind, but couldn't exactly just come out with it. He understood, but it was still slightly amusing to him.

"Flooring, cabinets, countertops... 's things like that," he explained, knowing you really didn't care what all it entailed. He was still happy to play along. "S'not as fun as archeology, but it pays alright."

You nodded, acting as though you were turning the thoughts over in your head.

"Well, if you're sure I won't mess it up, I'd be happy to try it out," was your final response. You figured it left some leeway in case your father became suspicious, but gave a good enough answer to end the conversation on.

"That's my girl," your dad clapped a hand on your shoulder in excitement. Truth be told he would very much enjoy your presence on a work site. "I'll go ahead and call Eddie in the morning, let 'im know I found someone to replace Charlie for interiors."

It was said more to Joel, you figured, because you didn't really know who either of those people were. He'd nodded to your dad, taking a sip of his beer and then looking back to you. You smiled sweetly, nobody catching it but the one it was meant for.

"Game's gonna start soon," Joel spoke aloud, drawing everyone's eye to the clock over the stove.

Sarah cleared her throat before jumping in on the conversation.

"About that," she looked to her dad with the same puppy dog eyes she used to use against you. He was just as poor at saying no to her when she pulled those bad boys out. "Sammy texted me to ask if it's okay to stay over at her place tonight?"

Joel sighed. He knew that no matter the attempts he made for her to like baseball, it wasn't her thing. It was summer vacation, and he had no reason to say no, so he didn't.

"Is she coming to pick you up?" He began, fishing his keys out of his pocket to drive her if need be. The girl lived five minutes away, he'd be back only a few minutes after the game started, but he didn't really want to leave.

"I can ask her," she pulled her phone back out of her jeans, opened her screen, and checked her messages.

"No need, I can take you," your voice rang out, standing from the table and taking your bowl to the sink. It was a genuine offer, but it was also to get out of the house and process what just happened with the job situation.

Joel was the first one to stand up with you.

"You don't have to-"

"It's fine," you cut him off, leaving no room for discussion. It was lucky he liked you, otherwise, Joel Miller might have put up quite the argument for such a small dilemma. As was his way, of course. He huffed, but accepted he had been overruled.

"Thanks, then." It was mumbled, but there was gratitude in it.

"We gotta hop over to ours real quick and grab my stuff," Sarah told you, waiting for you to return from the kitchen before beginning to head out through the front door. You'd grabbed your keys off where they hung on the wall before going behind her.

"I'll be back soon," you called over your shoulder into the house, and got a chirped 'alright' reply from your dad.

You walked out passed your driveway, seeing the light flicker on as you both went passed the censor on the ground.

"Y'know, I didn't think you'd have caved so fast on that job thing." She had piped up once you were almost to her porch. You found it only slightly funny that she chose the exact topic which had been swirling in your mind since it happened.

"Not sure I really wanna do it, but your dad made it sound better than every time my dad's talked about it, guess he just convinced me," you chuckled, playing it off in a way that she absolutely was about to use against you.

"That's another thing," she turned to you as she backed into the house through the door, only turning once she was inside. "Since when are you friends with my dad?"

She said it in a joking tone, but having known a few things she didn't about interactions that occurred between you and her father, you felt constricted to answer seriously. Probably with a lie if need be.

"I've always gotten along with your dad," you gave her a confused look, accompanied after by a playful smile.

She grabbed her backpack and opened it, checking to make sure she'd taken all the school stuff out before starting to shove things in, her charger, headphones, etc.

"Yeah but... you're just all young and cool and stuff," she shrugged, turning around to walk towards the staircase. "My dad is all old and boring and only talks about baseball."

"Thirty-seven isn't old, babe. My dad is two years from fifty, and I don't even think he's old, yet. Boring? Maybe..." you reasoned, hearing her laugh before she sprinted up the stairs, giving you time to think of some answers before she asked any more questions. Had she really caught onto you that fast? You didn't think you'd acted noticeably. If Sarah was able to see it, then maybe your dad did, too. You needed to be more careful, in that case.

Sarah returned a few minutes later, her backpack now stuffed and her pillow under her arm. You nodded out the door and headed back to your driveway to open the door for her, seeing as though her hands were full.

The drive after Sarah had been dropped off felt so much longer. Maybe it was just your thoughts, or maybe you consciously drove slower to avoid getting home too quickly. Your dad was waiting, but above that, Joel was there, too. Probably sitting back on the leather couch, relaxing with his feet kicked out on the floor. He usually leaned onto the armrest with his elbow, and held his face against the hand it supported. You'd noticed it years ago. He only ever spoke up when your dad did, usually in reply to him.

He was content simply watching the game in the presence of a friend. It was endearing.

When you pulled into the driveway, you had come up with an excuse to not remain downstairs for the duration of the game. It was too risky, and you weren't apparently as good with self-control as you'd thought you were.

You went inside and hung up your keys on the hook, immediately passing the living room on the way to the stairs.

"Hey, lovebug, you missed the top of the first," your dad called. He knew you liked baseball, so if you were to lie and say you didn't want to watch, he'd know something was up.

"Y'know, pa, I think I'm just gonna watch it upstairs, I forgot I still got some stuff to unpack," you peaked your head into the room to respond, and saw that Joel, just as you had pictured, was sitting in his most usual position on the couch, feet out on the floor, arm up with a hand holding the side of his face.

"Can't you do it later?" Your dad pleaded, but you knew, seeing as how your father occupied the recliner, you would have no where else to sit but on the floor or next to Joel. You didn't trust yourself with that.

"I could, but I might fall asleep if I wait too long."

He sighed, throwing an arm in your direction and shooing you away. He wasn't annoyed, but he'd admit he missed watching these games with you. It had been like a tradition, but if Sarah wasn't here either, he wasn't gonna make you stick around.

"Sure you don't wanna stick around? We could use your lucky jersey down here," Joel piped up, lifting his face from his hand and giving you a pair of soft eyes. That was exactly the reason you would not be staying. He didn't even realize how much he affected you, but you'd make sure he did at some point. Maybe you could just tease him a little.

"You're right, it would be a shame to take the lucky jersey with me."

You walked behind your dad's chair, out of his sight, and tauntingly stripped the jersey over your head, revealing the tight black tank top beneath it, just like that night at the bar. Joel's jaw clenched and his eyes turned darker, even under the bright light of the flatscreen in the living room. You never took your eyes away from his as you slung him the jersey.

"Hey pa, can I get you anything from the kitchen before I go upstairs?" You leaned over the back of his recliner, looking at him upside down. He chuckled and shook his head, trying to move your hair from obstructing his vision.

"We're all good, lovebug," he spoke in addition to his physical response, his laughter dying down as you stood back up. "Come on down if you change your mind."

"I'll probably be down later," you spewed a half-lie. You weren't sure if you would be or not, especially if Joel was still lurking in the living room.

You gave those brown eyes one last look before heading straight upstairs.

You grabbed your remote and flicked on the TV. It was already on the right channel, so you tossed the remote aside onto your bed and flopped back into it. You didn’t actually have anything left to unpack, but they would never have known.

Your phone buzzed beside you, and you lifted the screen to your face to see a text from an unsaved number:

Missin you down here…

You’d never put Joel in your contacts, because in highschool, your friends thought it was weird to even text or call him regularly, but you had his number for years, always just as a backup. You’d known it by heart, now, and nearly had it memorized back then, too, for the times you needed his help.

I’d come back if there was an open seat.

A bit sassy of a response, maybe, but you were hoping he’d understand the hidden meaning behind it… Although, Joel didn’t usually pick up on those things very easily.

Open seat right next to me

Yeah, that’s why I’m up here…

You huffed, realizing it wouldn’t be that easy. The three little dots indicating his next response was on the way slightly nerved you. Maybe he took the last text you sent the wrong way. You didn’t mean it to sound badly.

What’s that supposed to mean?

Means that I can’t keep my hands to myself.

You quickly rectified the situation, although you might have gone too far. He was taking far too long to answer, now. The little dots that before nerved you would now be your saving grace if it meant he would just fucking respond, already. You dropped the phone on your chest, raising up and down in a scattered rhythm while you wiped your hands over your face. Your phone vibrated over your shirt and you immediately opened it.

I can’t either. Stay up there.

You breathed out a sigh of relief. He was thinking the same things you were, and likely was under more stress for it, given he sat right across from your dad, responding to his comments about the game here and there. Your dad had no idea what was happening right under his nose.

Wasn’t thinking about leavin.

This little back and forth went on, the majority of the game, in fact. It was more-so about the plays then on, because you didn’t have anyone to talk to up here.

Joel thought it a bit funny, your dad would say something oddly specific about one of the players, and then you’d text him right after saying the exact same thing. You’d been a product of watching baseball with your old man for just about ever.

“I’m thinking about gettin’ some tickets over the summer for a game or two. They’re always cheaper in them group packages, you n’ Sarah should come along,” your dad was barely paying any attention to the words he spoke, but they came flowing out anyway, clear and cool. “Could be fun.”

Joel knew that there was only so much group interaction he could handle with you, and you with him. It stands to why you’re upstairs, an he’s down here, fist wrapped tightly around your lucky jersey. All out of your father’s sight, of course.

“It could be. Don’t think Sarah’s much for baseball anymore, though.”

He’d hoped that your dad would drop it. Halfway through his third beer, he hoped the man was a little more than tipsy, and maybe didn’t even mean the words he was saying.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t still tag along,” your dad was definitely still sober enough to keep it up, although the way he spoke became slower. Maybe he was getting sleepy.

“I’ll think about it.”

His response was followed by a hum, then a lull of silence that endured the rest of the game. He sat all the while and thought about his predicament a bit more.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you. It was insane… like you’d leeched yourself to the inner workings of his mind and he wouldn’t be able to pull you off without hurting himself, too. You were just upstairs, and had been texting him. You were within his vicinity, and yet… so unreachable.

He’d wished for you to be down here, or for him to be up there with you. Obviously, that wouldn’t go too well with the man sitting next to him, but he’d be asleep soon. If he could just touch you again, just kiss you one more time, maybe his cravings would be satisfied and he could go about his days… but what would happen if he kept feeling the addictive urge to do more? What if he was never satiated enough to quit you?

The game was called, and you’d texted him a small ‘victory’ at seeing the Rangers had won.

It was wrong, and the presence of his friend beside him was a constant reminder that you were his kid, and he would have a final say. Even though you were an adult, he understood this was completely taboo, and you should be off with guys your own age... but he’s made up his mind about the thoughts spinning in his head.

He didn’t respond, though. Your dad stood up out of his chair, his arms stretching outwards with a loud yawn as he took a few steps forwards, clapping his hand down on Joel’s shoulder.

“I hate to kick you out…” your father joked, a low and tired chuckle under his words.

“It’s alright, I got some stuff to sort out anyway.”

They started making their way towards the door when light but fast footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs.

Joel turned quickly, a smile on his lips and in his eyes when he saw you trying to catch your breath after sprinting down here.

“Leavin’ already?”

They both laughed heartily. As if Joel hadn’t been here almost three hours, most of which you spent upstairs. Your heart was beating far too fast for your liking, but there didn’t seem to be a way to stop it. Now that you were present again, in the room with him, you didn’t know what else to do.

“Your dad’s half asleep as it is, if I stay any longer I’ll send ‘im into hibernation,” Joel’s response made you giggle softly, although you withheld most of the laughter, because in all honestly, it wasn’t that funny, and you needed to learn to control yourself.

“He’ll be over next week, we’ll talk about gettin’ you into that job.”

You nodded, turning back to Joel as your dad opened the front door. What were you supposed to do? You couldn’t hug him, could you? That’s too much… maybe just wave, or maybe-

He held his hand out… for you to shake it. A hand-shake. Yeah, sure, fine.

You shook it, but he pulled you in half way, tapping your back once and then letting go.

He just bro hugged you. This man just-

He turned and did the same to your dad, giving you one last glimpse as he stepped out the door. Your dad closed it behind him and you were almost clean out of words to say. That had to have been the strangest interaction you’ve had.

“I’m beat, love-bug. I’m gonna head to bed,” he slung an arm around your neck and kissed the top of your head before turning and going down the hall to the stairs. “Don’t be up too late.”

“I won’t, just got a few things to do.”

You waited approximately ten more seconds before running to the garage door, going as quickly and as quietly as you could through to your front yard. Joel was still on his porch when you got out there, but was about to go inside.

You ran out to the sidewalk in font of his house and called out to him, all the while still barefoot.

“Hey Miller,” you crossed your arms, watching him turn around and lean in one direction. “Did you just bro-hug me? Or did I imagine that?”

He stepped closer to the edge of the porch, leaning against one of the wooden beams closest to him.

You slowly walked up to him, tilting your head to side as you observed his stance. he looked rather good. Hair tousled, body adorning a black t-shirt and some dark jeans. He was a sight, even in the dark light of the neighborhood.

“I reckon I oughta’ try again?”

"Seems like the fair thing to do."

“You’re takin’ your sweet time, baby,” he irked, grabbing gently under your elbow and pulling you up onto to porch once you were close enough.

You smiled to him, and wrapped your arms round his neck, over his broad shoulders. He pulled you close, tucking a head into your shoulder. The anxiousness you felt before fell apart, the rapid beating of your heart slowed, because you were comfortable. You felt immense peace in his arms like you’ve never felt before.

He backed away too soon, but still kept you relatively close to him.

“Was that better?”

“Yeah, I’d say so.”

There was a moment of silence, of contemplation, but it wasn’t stiff, and it wasn’t awkward. It was just there, a nice and pleasant quiet, and you standing still with Joel Miller on his porch.

“You wanna come inside a while?”

Sarah wasn’t home, and wouldn’t be till morning. Your dad was probably passed out in bed by now, leaving the opportunity completely open. You had nothing to lose, no risk to be had.

“Yeah, I think I will.”

He didn’t let you go, he just walked you both backwards until he was able to reach the door, reaching with one hand to open it before stepping slightly to the side to allow you entrance first.

“Ever the gentlemen,” you smiled, walking inside before he followed you in.

“Gotta make up for all that nonsense earlier,” he closed the door, taking your hand and walking to the kitchen. He pulled out a stool at his counter and let your hand fall to your side as he made his way to the fridge.

He pulled out two beers and uncapped them with the tool hanging on the side of his fridge. You think you remember your dad buying it for his birthday one year. You can remember sitting in this exact seat many times before, actually. Never alone, though. Never just you and Joel, and nobody else near.

He slid you one beer an you smiled at him in thanks, taking a sip.

“Last time you had one of these, I didn’t know if you liked it or not,” he gestured to his own bottle, drinking some and setting it down on the counter.

“I don’t know, I think it’s growing on me.”

He looked straight to you, leaning both hands on the edge of the counter. You leaned forward, mimicking his more stern face of features before he said anything else.

“I didn’t wanna say so with your dad around, but you look awful pretty tonight,” he spoke the compliment smoothly, but he had to drop his head after he said it. Seemed that giving you compliments alone in the night was something of a struggle for him, since he was blushing still even when he looked back to you.

“I seem to be feelin’ a lot prettier as of late whenever I’m around you. Think you’re just good for my self esteem,” you paused, leaning back onto the stool to take a drink of your beer. “That, or it's just nice to be complimented by a handsome guy like yourself.”

He didn’t seem to believe you. His scoff was loud and heard immediately after your compliment returned to him.

“You think I’m handsome?”

He’d always thought he was average. Maybe even slightly below. As he got older, that notion grew until he felt that maybe he was beyond trying for a woman on behalf of his looks. Perhaps there were women from time to time that would agree to a date, but there were none since Sarah’s mom who actually stuck around, not until you… but you were different as far as relationships go, because technically, you shouldn’t even be considering one with him.

“Absolutely, I do. Why wouldn’t I?” You were curious, because he was clearly attractive. Maybe you’d spent too much time around the more traditionally preferred young men in dallas, but something about Joel intrigued you that never did with anyone else. Maybe it was the forbidden aspect of what you two were doing, but before that, it was something else. He was rough and rugged, and good looking in a mature way that the boys your age couldn’t mimic if they tried. Those dark brown eyes with little crows feet at the edges every time he smiled were a dead give away to his age, but it was so appealing somehow.

“Don’t know. Guess I’m just old,” he spoke, trying to hide the insecurities that phrasing brought about. He was too old for you, he shouldn’t be sitting here with you you alone and calling you pretty, and yet…

“Maybe that’s a good thing. Too many boys my age are still very immature these days.” And it was very much true. Too young, too immature, and too stupid to see what’s in front of them and really appreciate it. Older men have a tendency to take care of the things they have, because they know that with time they can lose them.

“That so?”

“Mhm.”

“They don’t even realize what their missin’ out on, do they?”

You shook your head in reply. Nope. Not a single one of the younger guys you’ve dated has treated you with the care you know he could. He’s always treated you with care, before… why would that change now?

“They probably figure there’s a million girls linin’ up after me that they can take a shot at,” you raised your eyebrows and drank some more. Maybe it was just a thought of some past experiences, but this beer was tasting better and better to you.

“I pity them,” he said nonchalantly, without really thinking about it.

“Who, the girls? I mean, I kinda feel bad, but other times, I think we all know what we’re getting ourselves into n’ we just try to ignore the red flags.”

It was meant as a joke, but he was being genuinely serious.

“No, the guys. I pity ‘em.”

“Oh, do you?”

“I do,” he nodded, thinking of the right words to say. “They lost you, didn’t they? Biggest mistake of their lives and they didn’t even know. Pity ‘em just for that.”

You didn’t know what to say. You figured the wide smile you wore was doing a fine enough job, but he wasn’t looking like he had anything else to voice yet.

“You think I’m somethin’ special, Joel Miller?”

He set his bottle down on the counter and walked around it to stand right in front of your barstool. He took both your hands and pulled them to his chest, just holding them there and looking to you with the sweetest expression you’ve ever seen from him. He’s so different than what you remember in your earlier years. He used to be so stoic and serious. Sometimes even a little grumpy. Guess time changes things.

“I wouldn’t be gettin’ myself into sum’ this crazy if I thought anything else,” he mumbled it almost, but he definitely meant it. His words rang true in every aspect of the implications they made. This was crazy, it was very unlikely in the first place, but even still, it was happening. Neither of you backed down, neither of you said no.

“If it helps, I happen to think you’re pretty damn special, too.”

He didn’t respond, just leaned closer towards you, nudging his nose against yours, before letting your lips meet in a kiss. it washed rushed and hazy like the last time. It wasn’t forceful or fast or anything of that sort. It was gentle, and it was meaningful. All the years he’d known you, but never like this. You knew this attraction was new, but it was still real. You wondered how many women pined after him over the years, only for you to now gage his attention when clearly no one else did. The man’s been single since Sarah’s mom left, and otherwise, you didn’t know him to be much of a ‘dating around’ kinda guy. Standing here with him, now, you felt such excitement in knowing he’d pursue you, the off limits woman, over anyone else. It was a true victory, or at least you thought so, sitting on a stool in his kitchen while he kissed you softly, his thumbs going over the backs of your hands that still lingered in his.

When the kiss broke, you inhaled deeply, the scent of him so close to you, surrounding you. He was like a warm blanket you just pulled out of the dryer. He was comforting, and soft, and his skin was currently hot to the touch. You could only hope that you had something to do with that.

“Baby,” he breathed, hands letting go of yours and finding a new home at your waist. You left your hands on his chest, feeling his heart rate fluctuating. “Gotta know something before this goes any further…”

You hummed in response, still trying to even your breath intake. He backed away a few inches to be able to look you in the eyes correctly. He’d spent enough time with you in the past to know if you were telling the truth, and he was going to use it just this once to his advantage.

“What we’re doin’, you sure you’re okay with it?” He knew better than to jump into this without clarification. “Don’t want you feelin’ pressured if you’re not.”

“I want this,” you spoke softly, just loud enough that he could hear. “Promise.”

You had thought you’d been the instigator to this, if memory serves you correctly. Even still, you know now that whatever happens, he won’t take it somewhere you don’t want it to go. This show of good faith was something you could put trust in him over. He’s a good one, you always knew that.

And again his lips were on yours, differently this time. It was a bit more hasty and fervent like the first time, but there was still something different from then that you couldn’t quite decipher.

You absent-mindedly opened your legs and he instantly came between them, letting your bodies become flush with one another. His hands ran up and down your sides, every once and a while dipping to your hips and somewhere below on your thighs.

There was a heat between them that you didn’t realize was there until he came so close to touching it. He never actually did, though, and you were both endeared by and upset about it. He was the one making that heat spread, he can’t just leave it there… but he’s testing his limits, and you think it’s respectful that he is.

He doesn’t want to cross any lines… as if this entire entanglement has not already done that. This situation in every sense of the definition, has crossed the line. Him hugging you that tightly on his porch, him inviting you in after dark when it’s only you and him alone, having a beer with some very personal conversation, and now making out with you in his kitchen. They all crossed the line of what should happen between a man and his best friend’s daughter.

“Tell me to stop,” he mumbled against your mouth, almost as if reading your mind. His hand on your thigh drifted between your legs, just barely caressing the heated pool sitting there, waiting for him. It was still very reserved, and you had to buck against his hand for more friction, but at least it was something.

The taste of him somehow made it worse, the feeling growing inside you without an end in sight. The arousal was evident, but you weren’t sure he would be able to do anything about it, yet. You could tell it was weighing on his mind, what was okay for him to do, and what wasn’t. You would beg him if you had to, you just needed more.

He had an idea, one that could allow both of you to explore this dynamic easier, and one that could potentially keep him from overstepping like he was afraid to.

He removed his hands only for a minute, bringing yours up and over his shoulders before he settled his back down below your ass.

“Hold on,” he told you, lifting you from the seat and walking until he got to the living room. From there, he let the space guide him until the back of his knees hit the edge of the couch. He sat almost abruptly, and when you relaxed your weight onto him, you felt the stirring between his legs as well. You moaned into his mouth at the mere size and feeling of it, beginning to slowly grind down onto him. He encouraged your movements, and used his hands to guide your hips as you went, back and forth, getting into a rhythm.

“That’s it, baby,” he praised, tearing himself away for a moment to expel his breath from his lungs at the new feeling. Your head fell against his, and suddenly it was the movement of your lower half taking you over.

He let his hands move over your body a bit more freely, now, but still careful not to make any harsh movements, or grab in places he felt he shouldn’t linger too long. He knew you wanted this, but something inside him questioned how comfortable you really felt… that was until you started doing the same, roaming his body with your delicate touch, making him feel like the most important man in the world. You could have sworn you marked the exact moment he snapped, rolling his hips upwards into yours shamelessly. It was so deliciously addicting, the feeling of his body pleasing yours, and vice versa. His rough and sturdy hands, though still gentle, ravished any part of you available to him.

The air between you was hot and thick, and you could swear that by breathing it in, you were drawing even more arousal into your body.

The motions kept going until there was a quickening of pace brought on by you both simultaneously. You couldn’t mark a distinction of when it increased, you just knew that the speed you were going wasn’t where you started. All you could think of was that your spend was fast approaching, and you wondered if his was, too.

“Gettin’ close,” you murmured, barely able to get the words out for the moans that slipped passed your lips. “M’gonna…”

He heard you, and understood. Truth be told, he’d started getting hard since that moment on the porch, so this was just nothing but sweet relief to him. He kept on, trying to meet you at your finish.

“Let go , baby.”

You had no qualms about being told twice when it came to him. You gave it up easily, the muscles in your body contracting when you felt the wash of utter ease through every inch of you. He tensed beneath you, but relaxed with a groan of relief right after, and you could feel his length twitch in his jeans.

You just dry-humped Joel Miller on his couch. Like a horny teenager. What the fuck.

The dawn of realization was cut short by his hand softly coercing the back of your neck, bring your lips back for him to claim as he did earlier. Soft, and gentle, no rush, no heat. Just that feeling between you both that started this mess.… and it was indeed a mess.

“You wanna stay over?”

Tags (open):

@justanothersadperson93 @moonchild-warrior @hopplessilse @brittmd115 @michilandcof @untamedheart81 @just-someone-broken @joelalorian @xybil @yvonneeeee

If i tagged you wrong, or you want to be taken off at any time, just lmk!!

#joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel x reader #joel the last of us #dbf!joel miller x reader #dbf! joel miller #joel miller age gap #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal

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moonpie016 · 2 months

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Moon goes on a whole talking session.

*Walks in and realizes that this is becoming a frequent thing to post on here. And I'm happy about that, because I get to show what I make all the time. :]*

But now onto the drawings, and will eventually make a list on things I want to do next because that'll help me stay on track.

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Positive stuff below the drawing.

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It's the dudes inside my head, yay. Though they're all asleep, well two of em are. I drew this for whatever purpose it would serve, that being that my insides, while still a confused state and overall over reactive response to anything that needs rephrasing. Or just anything that happens, good, bad, whatever, that it has a way of comforting itself. It tries.

It tries to do the bare minimum of existing, even if it is tricky with having to always remember and think of more to do.

How to react appropriately, how to understand things to its full capability. How to understand others and everything more.

It's difficult, not in the way that doing things is difficult, but however that goes. These conceptualized beings of emotion have existed for some time, don't remember when but they have. But they always hadn't looked like this, obviously/lh.

But they all serve the same purpose combined or separate.

---

And, to go completely off topic, to go ramble.

Songs have whatever emotional attachment they can hold, whether important or not, it's just something that sticks. Helps.

And as you can see how much art I make, how many times I've probably listened to most of all the songs on repeat by now, what random pieces of dialogue I'll spew to write.

Chonny's music is comfort. Now it isn't just his, other artists as well. But those aren't important rn. His music in general, not just CCCC. Through whatever emotional moment months ago that made me feel lost and confused on what to do, what do I do now. I needed to find something to latch onto, if not, I'd feel..off. like I wasn't doing anything, because I wasn't doing anything. I tried to get into stuff but it wasn't working, like it needed to naturally happen instead of force myself.

The music has related to my state of mind (no pun) at certain points. And I find that comforting. Concerning? Maybe, but comforting.

Like, getting into what's popular, what new game, but that didn't work. And I'm kinda happy my brain decided to be now fixated on this man's music. Sure every time I'd like to explain or show someone, I need to specify and always show specific songs. Cus. Yeah. But now, I see people's work and stuff, and it's all so cool. And though the inconsistency of this blog is very apparent. I've enjoyed my time on here, very much. Even if I don't always actually speak to someone, because I don't really know what to say or start a conversation. (Seeds/social anxiety). I'm still happy for whatever interaction I get. I'm happy to feel included in this bizarre/pos and silly household. Idk why I'm calling it a household. Just go with it.

Even if I linger around or just post a drawing, I'm enjoying it. Some artwork may be more serious than silly. But yeah.

And to also just say whatever without rethinking is great, now I'm not going to say anything out of word. But just being silly in general with my wording. Y'know? Make odd jokes or talk excessively. (Wow).

Sum it up, I appreciate you all. Though you don't know me or I know you, it means a lot. I didn't think a joke about Heart beating up Mind would be turned into anything else, or that people would actually say anything.

This is just a happy little appreciation thing. I don't know how to end it! I just felt to write this.

So, uh yeah. :3

*Runs back into the hills*

Thanks for reading my ramble/pos.

---

#chonny jash #chonny jash fanart #chonnys charming chaos compendium #chonny jash heart #chonny jash mind #chonny jash soul #chonny jash oc #oc #appreciation for all of you dudes #dudes in a neutral sense #yeah :3 #this'll be something when I re-read it #dancing dancing but not actually #Moon's rambles

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mkmas · 8 months

Text

Jude and the Loving Kiss

inexperienced kiss xxx event

love how thats the title. as usual sorry it’s not perfect and if there’s anything wrong🙇‍♀️

(Wah, a beautiful flower garden…!)

(But why are we in a place like this…?)

(I don't know but... This place is so wonderful, it would be nice if I could stay here forever…)

A pleasant breeze fiddled with my hair and the scent of sweet flowers filled my heart with happiness.

At that moment, someone’s voice could be heard.

???: Tch… You, you're not just going to drop dead here without paying me back.

Kate: That voice, Jude…?

(Anyhow, I owe Jude a debt!)

Kate: 一Ugh! Ha, ha….!

A change from the beautiful scenery.

As soon as I regained consciousness, I spit out a large amount of water.

Ellis: Are you okay Kate?

Ellis pats my back as I groan. I exhaled water in response and finally calmed down to breathe.

Kate: … Thank you very much.

Ellis: I was really surprised. Kate was drowning in the river.

Kate: I was drowning…?

(Could it be, that flower garden I saw was the afterlife…)

(If it weren't for Jude's voice, I'd still be there一)

Trembling at just the mere thought of it, I grasped my own body with both arms.

Jude: Ha… Isn’t the season too cold for swimming?

Kate: I-I wasn’t swimming. Yes… I think there was a child drowning in the river and I tried to help... The child… !?

Ellis: The child was soaking wet but will be okay. Just to be safe, the child went to the doctor.

Kate: Is that so, that’s a relief… Um, Ellis was the one who saved me right?

Ellis: Nope, I was too far away to make it…

Ellis: Jude carried you back to the river shore, and breathed into you. ***(he didn’t directly mention CPR)

Kate: Jude………..

After I calmed down, I finally noticed that Jude's clothes were wet.

Apparently, he went into the river in such cold weather to save me.

Jude: Unfortunately, it wasn’t a prince that woke the princess up from her slumber. Such a pity it was a wizard.

Kate: It’s not a pity. Thank you so much for saving me!

Kate: …………. Uh, “breathed into?”

Jude: For people drowning in lakes, the appropriate first aid measure is to provide air with a mouth-to-mouth approach.

(I don't remember any of it at all, but doesn’t that mean that our lips were pressed together?)

Jude: Oi… Don't get all red-faced and excited over a common medical procedure. Saving you was dumb.

Kate: I-I wasn’t excited…!

Jude: I don’t know... Well, I'm soaking wet, so I'm going home. You should see that quack doctor just to be safe.

After he said that, Jude threw his jacket at me.

Jude's jacket was not wet at all, probably because he had taken it off before he went into the river.

Kate: Eh? Um, this…

Jude: You're going home now too, aren't you? If you walk behind me dressed like a sl*t like that, I'm going to look bad and it will be a nuisance.

I looked down and saw that my clothes were wet and sticking to my skin, and the thin fabric was becoming transparent.

Kate: T-Thank you very much.

Flustered, I quickly borrowed Jude's jacket and put it on the front.

His jacket felt very warm, and the faint scent of cigarettes filled my nose making my heart skip a beat.

Ellis: Ah… You two, up.

At that moment, Ellis suddenly noticed something and pointed above our heads.

Jude: …

Kate: Thats…

Directly above our heads was a tree with a wreath of mistletoe hanging from its trunk.

Maybe they forgot to take down the Christmas decorations.

(If I’m not mistaken, there's a superstition that if you kiss under the mistletoe, you'll be together forever…)

(… I mean, didn’t Jude just now give me artificial respiration!?)

Jude: ….

Jude glanced at my flustered state with a confused and annoyed expression,

He reached for the mistletoe, roughly pulled it off, and shoved it to Ellis.

Jude: Burn it.

Ellis accepts the mistletoe with a nod, and quickly walks away.

Kate: Well, uhm, Jude….

Jude: You, you don't believe in that mistletoe superstition, do you?

Kate: … I-I don’t believe it?

Jude: You’re a shitty liar.

Jude clicked his tongue and grabbed my arm.

Jude: Get that foolish head of yours to carve out a new superstition.

I was pulled closer and our lips forcibly met. This time it wasn’t life-saving, but rather just a normal kiss.

Kate: Un….

Our lips met tightly as if seeking warmth.

However, because the two of them were completely cold after entering the river, they could only feel the coldness of each other's lips, and could not feel the slightest bit of warmth.

Kate: … Fu….

Jude: … Nn…

Jude: … Not like this.

The icy kiss ends with Jude murmuring, as if to prove that there was no love in it.

Jude: …… “Even if you kiss under the mistletoe, if you kiss again in the same place, it will be canceled”!

Kate: I… Understand…

Of course, such a superstition does not exist, it was Jude's original.

(I can't believe you would go to the trouble of kissing me one more time to make up for my superstition…)

(… Could you have hated that superstition that much.)

Jude and I are not lovers, so it's only natural that we don't make eternal vows.

And yet, a bitter feeling spreads in my chest, as if I had lost my love.

(I'm sure I feel this way because I was happy that Jude saved me...)

(That gap is just making me feel lonely... Right?)

I forced myself to believe that I was in love and that I had a reason for my feelings.

Jude: … It's not worth it to make a promise of eternity with just a kiss.

Jude muttered thoughtfully and returned the swelling.

Since we are going back to the same place, I hurriedly follow behind him.

Kate: Jude, do you hate promises?

Jude: Nothing is eternal.

Jude's answer didn't seem to align with the question, but after thinking about it for a while, it started to make sense.

(It’s not that Jude hates promises, he just doesn't make them because he can't promise forever… He can't promise eternity, so he doesn’t make such promises.)

Eternity does not exist. As long as it doesn't exist, promises will always be broken. That's why such promises shouldn’t be made from the beginning.

I think that’s what Jude probably wanted to say.

(Isn’t that very sincere?)

It is easy for a person to lie in their heart. They can just lie and say that they will love you forever.

But even if it’s only superstitions, Jude never makes promises he can’t keep.

(... I wonder if Jude will someday have someone to whom he wants to pledge eternity to.)

Despite everything, Jude never abandoned me when I was drowning.

He is ruthless and arrogant, but I know from our time together that he is inhumane from the bottom of his heart.

(I wonder if someone will notice this side of Jude, somedayー…)

Being curious of such things would either make you feel like you want to look at the person, or not look,

I was driven by a strange feeling that I could not explain.

—————-

sorry but it’s so funny how ellis just went ok and ran off to burn a random mistletoe that belonged to the country or whoever was in charge of decorating the town😭 also smth that surprised me a little was how they really wanna emphasize jude’s foul mouth bc 痴女 = generally means sl*t but i’ve seen people use this to describe really bad female perverts or even female m*lesters (take it with a grain of salt, he’s extremely horrible with words but he always means well)

#jude jazza #ikemen villains #ikevil

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caramel-whiskeys-writing · 8 months

Text

William T. Spears ~ First Kiss

Black Butler Masterlist

It had been a long week for you as you had a few issues with some of your reapers, but that wasn't the worst of it. You knew that Will was going to come by and argue with you about your job and what you should've done. You sigh and roll your eyes at the thought. You were already tired and just wanted to go home without any more problems. You quickly packed up your stuff once you were done with work and made your way for the door.

You got to the door, and before you could even turn the handle to open it, someone else pulled in open. Not to your surprise, it was Will. Trying not to look annoyed, but more shocked, you kind of both just stood there until he greeted you and walked inside your office.

"If you don't mind Will, I was planning on heading out." He turned to face you and said in response,

"Not before we talk about this week." You were now really trying hard not to sigh and get him pissed off. You placed your bag back down beside your desk and sat back down in your chair, rubbing your face. You saw Will's face fall a bit. Maybe it was because you looked like shit or maybe he was having second thoughts of starting an argument. You know it was the first one when he started going off about why those reapers messed up in the first place. You let him talk it out for a good five minutes before he said something that really got under your skin.

"It makes sense that they don't know what they did wrong. They were never told plainly to do so. It makes sense why since you're not even paying attention to me right now, and you're their teacher." You stared him in the eyes and were ready to get into a heated argument with this man who always thought that he was hot shit. You cross your legs and arms, ready to bite his head off.

"William, do you really think that this is appropriate? to come in here and scold another reaper who works in the same department as you while you work with Grell, who is nothing but problems. At least my reaper's can learn and change. At least I don't talk shit in your face at the end of the day instead of finishing work." You were starting to get decently angry with him now as he acting like you are not good at your job, but you're his co-worker.

"You know, I have never seen you pull this crap with any other reaper. It seems like I'm just the only person who doesn't know how to do their job. And it's strange because you helped train me, so maybe it's your fault." Your voice was now very loud, and you knew that you couldn't stop going now. You kept cutting into him for another two minutes before he stood up, which made you stand up as you thought that he was walking away from this. He walked closer to you as you kept yelling at him, knowing that at this point, someone was probably listening.

He stared at you dead eyed for a bit before he reached out and grabbed the collar of your jacket. He pulled you aggressively into him and slammed his lips onto yours. Your eyes widened at what was happening. You still felt angry, but you were more confused than anything else. After a bit, you felt yourself ease into the kiss right before he pulled away. You stared at each other, trying to figure out what had just happened and if it should've happened. The answer is obviously no it shouldn't have, but it did. You both kind of just stood there, not talking, Will was rubbing the back of his neck, and you were holding your arms together. He finally decided to say something to you after a bit.

"I... umm... I don't know what made me do that." You glance at him, but he wasn't looking at you as he continued.

"I understand if you get even more angry with me after that. And I um..." he stopped for a few seconds before you spoke up.

"While I'm not happy with you right now, I think I can forgive you after that." You face him as he brings his eyes back to you. He knew that what he had done, both the kiss and the argument was very unprofessional of him, but something about the way you looked at him after the kiss told him that he might not get scolded for it.

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cosmic-d1ce · 11 months

Text

"how can you like sugarduo theyre so toxic" thats why i like them!!!! FML 🔛🔝 fuck everyone that doesnt like them!!!!

FML

Roier gets access to the Room

"He's family now, right? It's a family secret."

Cellbit's attempts to convince Forever have, so far, failed. Roier already knows. Roier has known for some time. He knows about Phil and he knows about what Forever really is.

"I'm just worried that he won't react as well as you guys did..."

Their reaction was insane, thinking back on it. They found out that Forever and Quackity had kidnapped Philza and they were all fine with it. They didn't even bat an eye. Mike had shrugged and said "amor é amor" with a laugh. They all laughed together. They knew what Forever was doing to their friend and that was fine.

It didn't matter. They watched Phil get destroyed and didn't care.

Now, it makes Cellbit feel a bit sick. He knows what love is now, thanks to Roier. It is not what Phil and Forever have.

What they have is sickening. Something depraved and cruel. Thinking about it too long makes Cellbit want to die. He knows he could have stopped it. He could have helped Phil but he didn't.

"I'll make sure it's okay. I can't keep something like this from my husband, Forever." Cellbit knows that will do something.

"Fine. If he freaks out though, it's on you." Forever huffs.

Roier is calmer than Cellbit had ever seen him. Cellbit walks into the dark room hesitantly. Forever stands close behind them. Cellbit can tell that he's on edge. He's worried.

"Morning, Phil." Cellbit says as the light flickers on. "Roier wanted to see you."

Phil casts a cautious glance between Roier and Forever, looking for confirmation.

In response, Forever speaks. "He's family now. He can see you if he likes." He shrugs despite his obvious nervousness.

Roier's communicator was left in the hall, in the drawer where Phil's stayed. His weapons, too. Forever is very aware that people would not be happy if they saw this. He knows that Roier probably isn't too fond of it. He knows he needs to be careful.

Cellbit can see the moment his husband spots the chain on Phil's ankle. It keeps him attatched to the bed. It's a punishment. Cellbit isn't sure what for, but he doesn't want to ask.

"I thought you hated me." Phil's voice is quiet. It always is. It's quiet and shaky and it breaks Cellbit's heart.

"Why would I- Oh! No, no! Fit and Wilbur are the only ones that actually hate you!" Roier laughs. "And some of the eggs but I don't!"

Cellbit's eye twitches. His husband is not the best at saying appropriate things. It's cute sometimes but here it is not.

Phil's voice cracks slightly, "Oh." he's on the verge of tears.

Forever notices not long after Cellbit does. He moves past Roier and Cellbit, walking over to Phil to kneel in front of him. He puts his hands on Phil's knees to comfort him.

"Don't cry, sweetheart! You know they hate you for a good reason, you shouldn't get so upset."

Cellbit watches Roier lose his mask. His expression changes to one of horror and confusion as he listens to Forever 'comfort' Phil.

"I kn-" A loud smack cuts Phil off.

"Also, I told you not to speak. Meu deus, por que você não ouve?"

Roier's hand trembles as he watches. Cellbit grabs a hold of him and pulls him a little closer. Roier calms himself quickly.

Forever turns to them with a bright smile. "Sorry about that, he's been awful recently! Had a little episode a few days ago, didn't you?" He looks back at Phil.

By 'episode' Forever means that Phil was starting to refuse his orders. He did it sometimes, despite everything.

Phil nods.

"There you go, well done, honey." Forever smiles, tail wagging in delight. He pats Phil on the head, ignoring the way Phil flinches away from his hand.

Cellbit hesitates before he speaks, "What did he do?"

"Screamed at me. I told him to go to bed and he screamed and cried and tried to hurt me, so, now he's here."

Cellbit knows there's more than that. He can see Phil's expression shift as Forever explains. He'll ask Phil later.

"You- you chain him up every time he does something bad?" Roier asks, a slight tremble to his voice.

"Not every time. Depends what he did. A while ago, he screamed at me and I just taped his mouth shut for a while."

Cellbit remembers that. Forever had triggered Phil on purpose, did something he knew would scare Phil into fight or flight. He had admitted a little while after to Pac that he just liked it when Phil was afraid. He said it was cute. Like a little bird.

"Punishment needs to fit the crime! He's chained up because he wouldn't come here when I told him too." Forever smiles.

"Ah... I see." Roier forces a smile in return, Forever doesn't seem to notice how strained it is.

"It's not so bad, he's okay with it! Aren't you, Phil?"

Phil nods quickly with a shaky smile. His eyes are still watering, tears threatening to spill over as he blinks.

Forever smiles back as his tail thwacks against the floor. He stands, using one hand to lift Phil's chin to make him keep eye contact. He gives him a kiss, although it's clear he doesn't want it. Phil doesn't fight but he's certainly not happy about what's being done. Forever pulls away with a smile and strokes Phil's hair again.

"Come on, we should let Phil rest, he's tired." Forever says as he starts to walk back to Cellbit and Roier.

Cellbit nods without question, although Roier is hesitant. Forever notices and stops in his tracks.

"What?" He asks, smile fading from his features as he stares at Roier.

"Nothing! Nothing! We should be going anyway! We have.... things... to do..." Roier trails off as he smiles nervously at Forever.

"Come on, Phil's tired. Let's go." Cellbit makes his tone stern as he pulls Roier slightly back towards the door.

"Yes, okay, great idea, as always, gatinho!"

Forever hums as Cellbit unlocks the door for Roier to step out. He's not happy about any of this.

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lazyyogi · 29 days

Note

I know as a daily meditator good advice is to avoid fools , however good advice is also to love your family my question is what if close family members are fools, how much does one help & be involved with family members who are foolish ? Is their karma something you yourself are attached to or a part of ? This question is really important for me it’s taken years to ask it, I am able to finally admit that a lot of my family are not on the path of Dhamma yet & their behaviours & lifestyles are draining & foolish . Can you please advise me Thankyou 🙏🙏🙏

I wouldn't say one must avoid fools. If you are a meditator then you will recognize it as an opportunity for mindfulness practice when dealing with foolish people.

It is very tempting to get swept up in reactivity when we are confronted with foolishness. When someone is so obviously wrong and yet so obviously loud about it, it can be challenging to remain balanced and at ease.

That doesn't mean you need to avoid those people, nor does it make it your responsibility to set them straight. A meditator is benefited by meeting the challenges of whatever circumstances come to them:

Noticing your own reactions and judgments, letting them pass through you without accepting or rejecting them, and remaining at ease is just another part of being present and mindful. If you can do that, then you can also freely choose how to handle yourself in that situation. Without being controlled by your conditioning, the interplay of your direct insight and social experience can then find unique expression in that moment.

This is also the real meaning of spontaneity. To be spontaneous doesn't mean to act without thinking. It means to act without conditioning--action that is not limited by previous habits, identities, or judgments.

With all of that being said, there are two important exceptions I would like to mention.

The first exception is for newbies. If you are new to meditation and mindfulness practice, then avoiding fools and spending time around those more wise and mature is important. That's perfectly okay. And when fools cannot be avoided, you can use that opportunity to work on your mindfulness practice and self-observation.

The other exception is more in line with your question, which is about the people with whom you surround yourself.

Everyone has the essence of divinity, a fundamental buddha-nature. But that does not mean they care about it or will ever come to discover that during this life. For those whose behaviors and lifestyles are draining and toxic, it is best to limit one's association with them as much as is appropriate.

There is a saying: "Love the tiger, but from a distance."

You do not need to abandon your family. You can and should still feel love for them. But if associating with them would mean being affected by their foolishness and toxicity, then it is alright to keep your distance from them.

Certainly if you can help them, do so. Just don't confuse helping with enabling.

If you have more specific questions regarding this situation with your family, feel free to shoot me a message. I'm happy to discuss it further with you.

Much love :)

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clov3sr · 2 years

Text

Uno, Out | Jude Bellingham

♡ — pairing(s): Jude Bellingham x reader

♢ — author annotations: hi my name is clov3 there's a global demand for pretty football boy fanfics and I write here look at me writings hehe

♤ — c/t w(s): none <3

♧ — synopsis: Your best friend Jude accidentally ends your hangout with a love confession.

♫ — music inspo.: JUST FRIENDS BY AUDREY MIKA

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ 1:11 ───ㅇ───── 2:48

GIF by avenirdelight

"Grow the hell up, Bellingham."

"I'm just saying that's not a legit UNO rule, and I think you know that."

"What I know?" You pause, dramatic as always. Jude misses that flair when he's away. "Is that as newly delegated UNO champion I can't understand your peasant ramblings? What are you saying right now, Ju?"

He doesn't have to look to know the stupid grin you're wearing, but he does anyway and bites his own bottom lip so as not to smile himself. You've just finished tidying the game and snacks up, and his blanket you'd for years claimed as yours had been folded and discarded on your loveseat. He almost forgets what he's looking for, but seeing his shoes in the corner of his vision jogs his memory.

"Man," he exhales, one hand on the wall steadying himself as he lazily shoves his feet into his shoes. In the corner nearest the door is a pair of his slippers that you keep around for him, should he need or want them. "It was just one game."

"Don't care. You got dethroned."

You've approached the entryway now, hands defiantly on your hips. Your head is tilted upwards, partly because Jude is tall and partly a consequence of your ballooned ego. Jude wants to bask in your amusement for much, much longer, too much longer than appropriate for just friends, but yet another notification from the team group chat reminds him that he really can't stay.

He yearns to stay with you.

He could bring up how he'd won the three games beforehand, but the moment is gone now, and he opts to just shake his head.

"Don't die, okay?" You huff, and he gives one last glance that he pleads with every God out there that it isn't full of too much longing for you. He knows what you're asking.

"I'll text you."

You only hum in response. It's been a couple of months now, that every time he leaves you, he wants to pepper your face with kisses and assure you that he can't wait to return. He wants to come home to your signature scent, an airy contrast to the usual smell of cut grass and athletic equipment. He imagines you drowning in one of his shirts, that perfect, stupid, contagious grin to comfort him about leaving.

"Bye, Jude,"

You say something, and he hears it, but the words don't quite penetrate his brain. You're probably saying bye. Your voice is like a song he'll never be able to overplay, a saccharine syrup he will never get tired of swimming in. Jude imagines you embracing him fondly right before he walks out the door. He envisions making sure you know, always,

"Bye, y/n, I love you."

"What?"

Fuck.

His subtle smile drops. He's already got one foot out the door, he's already got his lanyard in one hand ready to fish out the car keys, the other in the middle of closing the door behind him. He can't see your face.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

The door is closed. He swears he hears a confused call of his name, followed by another confused "what?" but if he did, it was too muffled by the very shut front door for him to be sure. He's already in the motion of casually strolling toward his car.

Fuck? Fuck.

He could cry right now, but he's too dumbfounded, and before the grief can reach a resulting action, he's starting the car.

No, it's sinking in now.

In his peripheral he sees your front door fly back open. You're running out to his car, no shoes on. He's complained to you about that before -- you could step on something sharp. Before he can decide what to do, you've nearly fallen face-first into the driver-side window while halting to a stop, swinging open his car door. Your eyes are wide as you balance one hand on your bare knee, the other holding the door open.

"I love you too!"

♢ — author postnote (s): gym equipment has that goddamn smell bro ik you know what im talking about shit. like its got me heated rn is there a word for that smell. also this app sucks how many times do I have to post this

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham fic #football oneshot #footballer x you #pablo gavi #reader insert #x reader #fluff #jude bellingham fluff #confession #friends to lovers #jude bellingham one shot #oneshot #x you #gender neutral reader #at least i dont think i implied a gender here so please lmk if you find otherwise

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system-of-a-feather · 1 year

Note

hi, we're scared to tell our therapist we're a system, do you know how to heal at home? half our headmates think we're faking it and most of us don't have a lot of faith in authorities of any kind, but the symptoms are so annoying :(

Three chapters to this response (not sure if its actually three or if Ill remember all three main points, I'm just being flamboyant)

Chapter One - Communicating with a Professional

Honestly? While it is totally valid and it's not something you should rush into if you don't feel safe, my best advice would be to try to work up to telling your therapist in some way or form the reality of your symptoms as they are - even if not "I am a system" but just slowly drop the mask. If you don't relate to something you said before - whether its an alter or not - its fine to say so, same with memory gaps or anything.

You don't have to state you are a system or think you have DID to explain your issues to a therapist and have the real situation handled and discussed. I understand the fakies and I also understand distrusting authorities, but they are a professional and either they should be able to appropriately handle it, or there should be someone else in their place because you deserve care that you are capable of genuinely expressing your issues in so that you can address those issues.

DID recovery and treatment can be really difficult and sometimes dangerous without guidance so before anything else, I really would recommend trying to figure out a way you can at least communicate some of the aspects of the symptoms that are bothering you to your therapist and giving them a chance (unless there is a reason other than general distrust, to which if there is, then thats another story)

Chapter Two - The Fakies

TOTALLY understandable, been there done that (not meant to be disregarding) and honestly getting through the fakies is a journey in its own - but in regards to that specific topic, I did want to say some food for thought that might be unpopular, but honestly?

Who cares if you are faking.

Genuinely. I don't even mean "are confused" but like, actually genuinely trying to force yourself to present as separate people to cope with whatever you've been through. What are you doing that's so horrible? As long as you aren't spewing dangerous miss information, if it helps you, I really honestly don't care nor do I think its my business to tell you to stop (within the realm of dangerous topics and safety).

And to be honest? Any good therapist shouldn't care either.

If you are faking, you have something you are trying to cope with and are not doing well - you still have an issue to address and you are allowed to go through the phases of healing. If you aren't faking but feel like you are faking, you still have something to work through. Discussing your symptoms as they are will eventually get you down to the root of whatever is going on and you'll either outgrow it and find better coping mechanisms, or you won't and you'll get your real issue handled.

Personally, realizing that even if I was 'faking' - as long as I wasn't spreading harmful information - there was literally no real genuine moral consequence or whatever to expressing my mental illness in a form like DID really let me stop worrying about it.

If you are faking, what does that REALLY change? If you are confused, what does that REALLY change? If you are a system, what does that REALLY change? In the end you still have an issue that needs to be talked about and worked through and healing and recovery is a process that is going to be worth it albeit ugly in the process cause healing is Just Like That.

I really hate the notion "You would know it if you are faking" and "If you question if you are faking, you aren't" cause that shit just doesn't help cause as someone who was there, you just go "yeah deep down I do know" and it just makes shit worse. I prefer "if you are faking its whatever, what harm are you doing to any one in the NOT ONLINE world"

If your symptoms are distressing you as they are, they are distressing you and you have a right to mention it. The only difference is where the root stands when you investigate it professionally.

Chapter Three - Answering the Damn Question

Anyways, to answer the main question asked, assuming we take this ask and question's preface as unchanging unfixable situations and you want to completely ignore everything above (fair and valid) - most of what OP and I said here would apply as it is the general theme of recovery with DID imo

Past that, I would recommend steering clear from addressing and trying to process trauma unless it come to you. I am personally of the opinion that intentionally seeking out trauma processing without a professional to help you when you have DID can be a risky game to play and as someone that's done a lot of healing, it is UBER important to "clear" what is known as the Stabilization Phase before getting deep into the trauma.

The Stabilization Phase is essentially focusing on a few things:

Establishing basic self care and coping skills

Establishing something of an external support system around you

Establishing something of a stable enough living situation (or as much as you can at the moment)

Lessening stressors that you can lessen at the moment

Reviewing your current friendships, coping mechanisms, and behaviors to see what is helping you and what it hurting you

Getting to understand yourself and selves - ie knowing who you are and your skills, drives and dynamics, then having that done for a handful of regular fronters

Getting to know and building communication with parts of your system

Building trust and synergies with those parts to be able operate with them

Generally building a sense of safety within the parts internally and externally as a way to build up resilience and prepare yourself (as a whole) for stress, trials, and trauma

Typically, you would want to have a decent progress on all of those before intentionally diving into hard trauma processing and building all of that can take a while to do.

Of course this isn't to say repress trauma and trauma holding parts - if trauma comes to you, its a good opportunity to work on building that list of things as the actively surfacing trauma tends to be relevant to parts or your current living situation that could use improvement or deeper understanding of.

This is more to say to let sleeping dragons lie - ie, if the trauma doesn't come to you and isn't howling, don't wake it up. If there is no trauma, if you can't remember the trauma, cool - take it as a blessing for now and focus on understanding the big picture and helping improve your life better.

As for some ways and things to do to help build some of those?

Figure out what kinds of things you would like to do in your life or just things you would like to do in general

Figure out what matters to you, what do you value above other things

Interact with your social webs and people around you and see what works and what doesn't, what makes you feel good, what makes you feel bad, what is triggering and what isn't and work to fine tune who you spend your time around

Work on any self sufficiency stuff you are able to work on (physically, time, emotionally, etc there are limits and work with where you are)

Try to communicate with your parts and the IMPORTANT part of this is to just have fun with it. Trauma and DID is enough pain as it is, be silly, have fun, play games and try to go on dates (platonic or not) with yourself. Poke fun with yourself / among yourselves. Tease one another. Make inside jokes. BE CRINGE ITS FINE. ITS FREEING

Try to make friends with at least one part and build that relationship well and then try to branch out and keep doing this

Keep an open mind and a large amount of patience when dealing with any part - especially if they are causing problems or being Mentally Ill TM. Unforuntately most parts are going to be "stupid" in their own way and its important to accept each parts faults while focusing on their strengths

Once you know those part's strengths and weaknesses, try to lean on the unique strengths each have to cover eachother's weak points and - if possible - take a weakness and try to convert it to a strength. This varies from part to part so I can't get much more specific than that plus, honestly, Team Curation as Ray calls it is Coach Ray's job as he does most of that stuff in our brain so me talking about it is a bit abvove my pay grade

Just really

Have. Fun.

Shits bad enough and hard enough with healing and recovery. At home? Just try to enjoy the moments of peace when they come and have fun with your parts and just try to live your life when you are given breaks from the waves of symptoms.

Anyways. That's a bit of my take on the thing and some tips.

TLDR though?

Try to find a way to talk to your therapist honestly if you can, whether you are faking or not really doesn't matter in my opinion, and just have fun and live your life to the best of your ability.

#alter: riku #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #osdd #ask #asks #advice #healing #stabilization phase #stabilization #recovery

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holymountdias · 2 years

Text

Love triangle pt. 2

Erling Haaland x (fem)reader x Jadon Sancho

Summary: A past relationship of yours broke you to the point that you weren't being yourself anymore, but what happens when your ex's best friend takes interest in you and he helps you take revenge ? Will it all just be a game for you or become more than friends ?

Word count: 4k

Notes: angst, a bit steamy (?), but lets say implied smut to be safe

PARTS: 1.0 2.0 3.0

"Aaaand we are here" your friend cheerfully announces after parking the car right outside the club where Jason's party is taking place.

You let out a sigh before silently twisting your head to glance at the place where a line of people seems to be formed right outside the entrance, probably hoping to get a chance to be let inside or maybe Jadon invited them. Either way you don't recognize anybody from them and that makes you slightly anxious about how this whole thing is going to turn out for you.

"Stop overthinking about it, you are going inside, drink a bit, dance with whoever the fuck you want, preferably Jadon but that's just me" she mumbles teasingly the last part which makes you giggle a bit.

"...and have fun. You won't even have to try to do anything, except enjoy your time there and the douchebag will be fuming in jealousy with a full hard on." her encouraging words genuinely seceed to bring a smile on your face but you still can't help but drown in anxiousness.

Were you really ready to face him? What if he tried to talk to you or worse, what if he wasn't alone and you just ended up looking all stupid and pathetic..

A small frown made it on your face once the thought of him passed through your mind again.

It's been some time since you've last seen him and you are hesitant to know your reaction now that you are about to be in the same room as him, for the first time in a while.

The only positive thing from the whole situation is that you were both able to keep everything to yourselves or at least the part regarding your identity since last time it turned out that Erling tended to talk about his hookups with the other players in general, so at least you won't be getting any awkward looks from anybody you are familiar with.

"Are you sure you don't want to tag along?" you asked her with a slightly pleading expression, hoping that she would finally give in. You have been fighting her on this since the moment she made you abandon your bed nest, but apparently based on her words, it wasn't "her scene" or it wouldn't be appropriate cause it's for "higher class people". You tried reasoning with her, but at this point it only made you think that this was just her way of making you get out of your shell.

"Girl If it was your neighbor's birthday party we would already be inside, but it's Jadon fucking Sancho's event, the dude will think im some crazy fan or something. I can't just go inside with you just because you know me." You roll your eyes at her jokingly but decide not to argue about it anymore.

"Besides, you won't be all by yourself" she brings up teasingly and you only furrow your brows in confusion as you look at her with question in your eyes.

"Jadon will be a very much comforting company" she says while wiggling her brows, hinting at Jadon’s possible interest in you and you just shake you head in annoyance.

"I already told you; I'm not gonna fall for his shit. He is so close with Erling that I'm pretty sure he is no different than him when it comes to girls" you tell her seriously and she looks at you with a devilish smile in response.

"Then why not use him first?"

"What?"

"I mean if your mind is so determined that you are going to end up being used, then why not use him first ?"

"Use him for what? Erling?" You asked her intrigued by her idea.

"Exactly, and the fact that they are best friends or whatever is going to make it even better for your, lets call it, revenge. His ex and his best friend flirting and being all over each other.....ohh that will be a blow below the waist if you ask me" You smirk while listening to her words and thinking it through.

There would be no harm in doing that right? I mean he is just a friend so he could help another friend out? Even if it was to make his best friend jealous.... it doesn't mean that he should know about it.

I can come up with some lame excuse I guess

“You got this, i will be one phone call away, but still make sure you don’t call too soon” she tells you before you finally open your door to get out of the car. After saying your last goodbyes, you start approaching the entrance of the luxury club.

With your invitation on one hand you stand in front of a very intimidating bulky and tall man that seems to be guarding the entry of the place. His strong facial features hold a blank expression as he eyes you up and down, making you feel uneasy in a instant.

Nevertheless you attempt to distract yourself by playing with the edges your hair as you hand him the black envelope. Once he runs it over with his eyes for a good minute, he then steps aside to let you inside without giving you a second look.

A satin black dress was decorating your body, the cleavage hanging low, almost at the bottom of your chest with a high slit showing just the right amount of skin on the outside of your left thigh.

Damn should i have worn something less revealing ? What was that look for, am i overdressed or underdressed ?

You can’t even remember the last time you wore this dress and you must admit that when you looked at yourself in the mirror back at the house, a rapid wave of confidence overtook you, which ended up disappearing by the one single look this bodyguard just gave you…your mind filled with negativity right away and honestly that’s what it always has been like for you.

People’s looks always manage to steal every last bit of reassurance you have in yourself and you hate that for you but of course once upon a time Erling was the prince charming to make all those doubts go away.

Fucking erling

Honestly fuck him, fuck everything about him, every moment he made you feel so good about yourself and every moment he made you believe you meant something for him. If you are going to see him tonight, you will make sure he has something to remember of you.

Tonight you will make sure its worth it for the both of you.

As you walk inside the club you are met with a huge dark area whose only form of lighting is those small spots on the roof that keep changing colors every minute or so. You can sense how the loud volume of the music is pounding against the walls causing your heart to ache with every beat of the songs.

You walk through the swarm of bodies that is standing in your way, while you look around in search for a familiar face. The closer you reach the bar area the sooner enough, you are able to finally detect the same regular group of people you hang out with, in cases like this. The girls were sitting next to the bar and they all greet you warmly, once they take a notice of you, welcoming you in their conversation.

“Soo y/n how come that you brother hasn’t arrived yet?” one of the girls suddenly asks you, bringing all the attention back on you once again.

You haven’t really met this girl before so you don’t know what kind of relation she might have with Mason to ask about him straight up and out of the blue. No matter how many times some random girl will ask about your brother, you will never not feel weirded out or uncomfortable.

Its quite often that this happens, since your brother was quite the target for many of those girlies that wanted to be the next it couple or the next housewife of a famous footballer but oh God did it make you frustrated. And that was also another reason why you had trouble trusting others and creating close relationships; people would always try to manipulate you to get to your brother.

“He had a tight schedule so he couldn’t come” you bluntly reply as you take the last sip of your drink. However your answer didn’t quite satisfy the noisy redhead so she keeps on throwing questions, which only manages to annoy you further.

Sophia, Kai’s girlfriend senses your uncomfortableness and quickly comes in to your rescue, by cutting her out and saying something about ordering more drinks.

You mentally thank her and smirk to yourself after you glance at the redheads annoyed expression.

“Have you guys seen Jadon?, i haven’t wished him happy birthday yet”You then ask them.

“I only saw him like about an hour ago hanging out with some guys back where the sofa is but i can’t tell you for sure now.”

“He’s got a lot of people to entertain so he can be anywhere right now” two of the girls reply and you chuckle.

“Great, i will leave him a birthday card or something then” you joke, causing the rest of the group to laugh.

When they proceed to start a new conversation you excuse yourself, heading to the bathroom. After asking the bartender for directions, you finally find it and enter one of the stools

A minute right after you, you hear people laughing and talking while entering the bathroom and you right about to ignore them, when one of the names that is being mentioned catches your attention.

“So how did it go with Erling?” one voice asks

“I don’t know, we hooked up and it was perfect but he hasn’t called or texted since then and i don’t know what to do to get his attention back.” another voice says

“Oh damn it, is he a playing hard to get type of guy ? maybe you should text him first now”

“I did and the fucker hasn’t replied, i guess he only does one night stands”

Typical Erling Haaland, at least he didn’t lead her on for months

“Has he come yet?”

“Yeah he is sitting with some of the city guys at the back"

Your brain blanks after this last sentence, your thoughts working through the image of him sitting somewhere in the room next to you. You ignore any last hints of hesitancy are left in you and get ready to put your plan to work.

After you open the door to your stool and exit, making sure to ignore the stares from the girls next to you, you stop in front of the sink to wash your hands, running your fingers through your long locks to tame them down and back in place.

Once you have finished you exit the bathroom and find yourself in the loud room once again. A long sigh escapes your lips as your eyes shift in between the unfamiliar people around you but thankfully you won’t have to tire yourself any further.

“Here you are” A voice whispers next to your ear loud enough for you to hear through the club's music while a hand wraps itself around your waist, making your breath get caught in shock by the sudden presence behind you.

You quickly turn around to finally be met with the person you were searching for this whole time, Jadon Sancho. He hadn’t changed one bit since you last saw each other in person in one of his games.

His curly hair look freshly trimmed on the sides while he is wearing his usual style of clothing. A t-shirt with both his arms exposed showing off his long sleeve tattoos, a pair of jeans and of course the extra expensive chains around his neck while the flickering club lights in the dark room makes them shine.

“Heard you were looking for me” He speaks again with an evident smirk plastered on his handsome face while his eyes are traveling all over your appearance. His behaviour makes you blush a bit and you thank heavens for the low lightning in the room that hopefully helps out with covering it up. Nevertheless you can’t fail to notice how he still has his arm around you making the distance between you two very small.

“I wanted to wish you happy birthday” you tell him honestly with a curved smile onto your mouth before you lean into him to leave a slow kiss on his cheek with your arms moving around his neck.

His body automatically lowers down to you due to your height difference and you can feel how his arm tightens around your waist when your lips come in contact with his cheek.

“Happy birthday Jadon” you whisper close to his ear after the kiss and when you finally lean back to look at him, his smirk has turned into a huge grin and his eyes are bored in to yours with interest.

“Can’t wait for my next birthday so that you can do that again” you laugh at his response.

“Shut up it was just a kiss on the cheek, besides i can give you that any day you want” your flirty answer makes him smirk and you can’t help but draw your lower lip between your teeth since his handsome face only gets nearer you, making you feel weak at the knees.

You don’t know if its the alcohol is causing you to feel this way or something else. You are still definitely very much attracted to Jadon so that is playing its role for sure. However his questionable intentions had forced you to limit your excitement over him all this time and you honestly believed that you would be able to handle your plan like a pro, with no affects overall, but i guess it's going to be more complicated than that..

“Oh i will definitely hold you to that, after all you also owe me a birthday gift” you raise your eyebrows as the corners of your mouth twitched, almost making you laugh.

“Well then in that case, i will give the birthday boy whatever he wants” you dare to challenge him while you are looking up at him through your lashes. You notice how his gaze on you turns darker to the sound of your words; his hand suddenly cupping the side of your jaw to tilt your head upwards to him.

It’s as if everything slows down around you while his steady breaths brush against your skin and his eyes are staring right into yours; you can feel your mouth slightly opening due to the feeling of his touch on you.

“So you will say yes to everything i want for tonight?” he whispers to you and you nod in response, not really trusting your voice at this moment. He gives you a nod and his eyes shift to glance at your lips for a second before he slides his tongue across his mouth.

“Can i kiss you then?”

“Yes” you immediately whisper back and he nods in response again before proceeding to lean into you.

“Yo Jadon” a voice comes up from behind you making Jadon pause. A light sigh of disappointment breaks through his lips before he lets his arms fall from your body. He is moving to now stand beside you with his arm resting possessively around your shoulder while you have also turned around to meet with the person that interrupted you.

To your surprise your sight catches with the devil himself, Erling, among Jack and Rashford.

The last two seem to be staring at the both of you with smirks on their faces looking all smug for the fact that they caught you almost kissing. Erling on the other hand only holds a sour expression on his face, with his jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed on his best friend and his cosy behaviour while being next to you. His eyes get to lock with yours only for a few seconds before shifting back on Jadon.

“Sorry for the interruption lovebirds but we are about to play some body-shots and we needed our birthday guy” Jack says

“Yeah we are both playing” Jadon answers for you as well and you furrow your brows in confusion, twisting your body to look at him better, ready to interject but Erling beats you to it.

“She can’t play” all of you now turn your attention towards him, taken aback by his statement which you makes you scoff at him as you feel yourself slowly fuming in anger.

“Who the fuck are you to tell me what not to do?” you argued with him, folding your arms in front of your chest.

“I don’t think your brother would appreciate you doing this kind of stuff with his friends” his annoyed tone only hit more into your nerves.

The audacity of this guy as if he has any right to speak about anyone else but himself. Deep down you already know that this is an act of jealousy and you are happy to make him feel so disturbed but his attitude was ridiculous.

You actually are not sure if you were going to participate in the first play in this stupid game but his snarking remark immediately makes you change your mind.

“And i don’t think that’s any of your business, i am my own person and an adult, i can do whatever i want” he can only keep glaring at you and you serve him back with a satisfied grin.

“Well the lady spoke so, shall we?” Marcus spoke up after a moment of silence and then you all make your way towards the bar where the group has gathered to play.

“Alright guys after you pick your pair, you spin the bottle to choose the body part” Ben speaks up and everyone starts getting ready.

“You will be playing with me, right?” you hear Jadon close to your ear and you nod in response, while he is standing before you with his arms around you neck, almost hugging you from the back, so you take the chance to lean into his strong form as well and relax within his arms.

After everything is settled up, the game finally begins. You watch as each couple licks the salt off of their partner’s body before taking the shot and of course sucking the lime though their parters mouth.

Everyone looks so pumped from the sexual tension thats erupting through the game; shouting and encouraging everyone to make it as nastier as they can.

You start becoming a bit tense as your turn nears up and to your surprise Jadon is quick to notice it so he starts drawing patterns on your skin with his fingers in his effort to make you relax.

His gesture genuinely makes you smile so you decide to thank him with another kiss on his cheek but before you can see his reaction you have already shifted back to your original position but you get to hear a chuckle from him.

When its finally your turn, you move forward to spin the bottle which after a few seconds stops on the word stomach, while for Jadon lands on the word neck.

Without wasting another second he removes his shirt and gets on top of the bar counter and proceeds to lay down on it to make the process easier for you. Everyone yells in satisfaction while you almost gawk at him not expecting this kind of boldness but it only makes you more excited.

Not wanting to delay the game any more, you quickly get on top of the chair to stand on your knees; the new angle makes you come in sight with Jadon’s naked torso while he is gazing at you with a smirk on his face.

You grin at him with as much confidence as you have, not wanting to let him see how intimated or affected he makes you feel on the inside. Soon enough you find yourself slowly licking a stripe across his stomach before you sprinkle the salt while someone else gives him the lemon. For the cherry on top and to cause some more reactions, you dare to balance the shot on top of his crotch.

After you check on him one last time, you bend down once again to lick the salt from his stomach. An unpleasant sourness already invades your mouth but it is gone as soon as you lift up the shot with your mouth and drink it down on one go. In the end you hover over Jadon’s face to finally lick the cut piece of lemon from his mouth.

You can’t concentrate on anything happening around you, your instincts completely focused around the feeling of Jadon’s lips barely touching with yours. The only thing that prevents you from actually kissing is that piece of fruit and you can’t help but curse at it in your head at this moment.

You make a move to seperate yourself from him and the next thing you know his lips are on yours, the lemon completely gone this time, giving you both finally the space for your mouths to lock with each other. Your eyes are closed while Jadon takes the time to sensually suck on your lips and tongue, offering him to taste everything that entered your mouth from the body shot.

You hear him groan one last time into the kiss before you decide to break it and move yourself to stand on your normal height. Jadon doesn’t wait another second before he brings himself to sit normally on the bar counter with his legs open and hanging from the counter.

“Get on” he almost growls at you and you instantly comply, twisting your body to sit on the space between his thighs. You can feel your back coming in contact with his front and your body arches in reaction causing the man behind you to let out a quiet curse; but only you are able to hear it since the people around you keep cheering loudly for the both on you.

“Tilt your head to the side baby” he whispers to you and you follow along without hesitation, your eyes close and your mind abandons all the control it has, completely giving in to the desires of the man behind you. His hands are gripping the side of your waist when you feel his wet tongue rolling down the side of your neck. You hold yourself back from moaning but you soon get interrupted by his voice again.

“Put the lemon on those lips and hold the shot for me” he instructs you and your body automatically obeys.

Once you are ready you feel his tongue on your neck licking off all the salt from your skin in a slow and sensual way. Next you raise your hand up to his face so that he can drink the shot before he grabs your chin to twist your head to the side. Your face meets with his and he instantly suck starts sucking on the piece of fruit between your swollen lips.

Your senses are once more consumed by the light touch of his lips on yours and after a few seconds he finally pulls back to look at you as you take the chance to remove the lemon from your mouth.

As soon as you have taken it out, your face is being forced towards him as he goes after your lips once again. His lips are softly sucking on yours while his tongue is teasing you at the entrance of you mouth. When you pull back from him, you open your eyes to look at him while his hand is softly caressing the side of your face.

“You know what they say; sit on my lap at parties and you will sit on my face in private” His bold words cause you to blush and laugh at the same time. While there were people around you staring at your heated interaction you both felt so wrapped up in your little moment that you didn’t seem to care.

“Well i’m sorry to break it to you but technically I'm not sitting on your lap” you respond and he nibbles on his lips while looking at you lustfully.

“You will later, don’t worry” his tone sounds serious and dark probably from how turned on he is, not bothering to hide his attraction towards you, not even in front of all this people and you can already feel your heart fluttering from that.

And to be honest that scares you a lot for what's coming.

#football imagines #erling haaland angst #erling haaland x reader #erling haaland imagine #erling haaland fic #erling haaland #jadon sancho #jadon sancho imagine #jadon sancho smut #jadon sancho x reader #jadon sancho fic #jadon sancho fluff

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