#and i'm fucking dead on the floor about it

[the-unidentified-author]

Old Friends | Kylo Ren | Star Wars

Summary: You're a friend of Kylo and bust into his room to tell him something when you get a little more than what you bargained for...

Warnings/ Tags: SMUT[NSFW}, smut, minors DNI, established relationship, p in v, creampie, a little rough, consensual!, hes a big man.

Word Count : 3,486

"KYLO, OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR!" You shouted with mounting frustration, thumping the side of your clenched fist against the solid metal door of your friends' room, your impatience threatening to boil over into a full-blown rage. Your voice echoed through the dimly lit hallway, bouncing off the cold metal walls and floor, the sound reverberating back at you like an ominous, foreboding prelude to the confrontation you were about to unleash.

The seconds ticked by at an agonisingly slow pace, stretching out into an eternity as you waited for a response from within the room. You could feel the blood pounding in your temples, your heart thudding heavily against your ribcage. Each passing moment was a testament to your growing irritation, the tension within you coiling tighter and tighter with every passing second.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the door creaked open just a crack, revealing only a sliver of the scene unfolding behind it. Kylo's voice, deep and gravelly, drifted out through the small opening. "Give me a minute," he called from the other side of the door, his tone laced with a hint of amusement at your obvious impatience.

But your anger was not so easily quelled. "NO! NOW It's IMPORTANT!" you yelled, continuing the assault on the door with your fist, each solid thump against the hard surface making your hand hurt. The sound reverberated through the hallway, but you didn’t care who heard. You had been woken up because you were the only one who actually dared to wake him up. The only one that could walk away unscathed.

You pushed the door open yourself, not caring to wait any longer.

"Okay, so there has been a teeny tiny little bit of a proble-" you turned, and your eyes met Kylo's. "Oh" you said out loud. He was standing by the door you had just barrelled through, shirtless. You stared at him for a moment before, forcing yourself to turn away from him, trying to look at anything and everything but at him. "Could you, put on a shirt?" You folded your arms and focused your eyes on his bedside table, trying to ignore the fact that he had likely been sleeping when you had started the assault on his door. A part of you felt a little bad for waking him up.

"I did tell you to wait, it's not my fault you're so impatient," he remarked, his voice rough and deep, he had defiantly just woken up.

"Well, I had something important to tell you," you replied, still a bit breathless from your impromptu door-pounding session.

You heard him walk across the room towards you, before he came into view and stood in front of his wardrobe. His hand went to the handle before he frowned and turned to you. The muscles of his back flexed as he turned to look at you, and it took everything you had for you to keep your eyes on his face.

"Had?" he queried, dropping his hand, turning towards you, placing his hands in the pockets of his black sweatpants, his demeanour shifting from slightly annoyed to outright intrigued. "So, you've forgotten the 'very important' news?" he smirked, looking at you with an expression on his face that you couldn’t read.

“Well, if you answered your fucking phone, perhaps I wouldn’t have to burst in here and give you the news in person. You have to go to a meeting, something about the resistance. I'm not sure, I only woke up a few minutes before coming here.” You were flustered and tired, you had been asleep for a little more than an hour before someone came to wake you about some stupid meeting.

"Oh so you burst into my room in the dead of night because I had to go to a meeting?" he asked, stepping away from the wardrobe and ruffling his hand through his hair. He looked tired, not the sort of tired that sleep would fix.

"Well, I have something important to tell you," you emphasised, hoping to regain some semblance of control over the situation.

There was no hiding it, you could feel how hot your face had got, and you hoped he would just assume it was from running up to see him.

"Look, can you just put some clothes on please?” you asked, dropping your hands to your sides before linking them behind your back.

"Why? Am I distracting you?" he asked, a smug grin playing at the corners of his mouth. He raised an eyebrow, the gesture both challenging and inviting at the same time. There was a glint of amusement in his dark eyes, as if he were thoroughly enjoying himself at your expense.

"No, I just want you to be more… modest," you responded, your cheeks flushing slightly at the thought of seeing him half-naked. You couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious under his gaze. Your old matching Pyjamas seeming unfit for your current situation.

He laughed, the sound warm and inviting. But then he continued, his voice low and husky. "Modest? Is that what you call it when your eyes can't help but linger a bit too long on certain… parts of me?" He took a step closer to you, close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off his body. The scent of his skin, a mixture of sweat and soap, filled your nostrils, igniting a strange mixture of emotions within you.

"I… I…" you stammered, struggling to find the right words to adequately express your thoughts and feelings. But then he spoke again, his voice cutting through the tension coiled tight within the room like a knife through butter.

"Admit it," he said, his tone laced with a hint of playful teasing. "You find me… irresistible." He joked, leaning in closer to you, his lips brushing gently against your ear as he whispered that last word.

You could feel your heart hammering in your chest, the sound of your breaths mingling with his in the small space between the two of you. It was a feeling unlike anything you had ever experienced before - raw, primal, and utterly intoxicating.

You bit down on the inside of your cheek, the metallic taste of blood flooding your mouth as you fought to contain your rapidly unraveling emotions. Turning away from him, you took a step back, hoping to create some much-needed distance between you and the alluringly dangerous force that was Kylo Ren.

You knew that he would be able to hear the lie in your voice, so you decided it would be best not to say anything at all. He was being cocky, revealing in the fact that he was able to make you feel so vulnerable and exposed. He liked that you found it difficult to look at him, and you couldn't deny that there was a certain-twisted thrill in the knowledge that you were so utterly captivated by him.

The tension between the two of you was palpable, hanging heavy and thick in the air around you like a toxic, suffocating fog. It was a tension that threatened to consume you both entirely, leaving no room for anything else but the raw, primal desire that coursed through your veins like a raging wildfire.

And as you stood there, staring off into the distance with a thousand different thoughts and emotions swirling around inside your head, you couldn't help but wonder just how far down this dark, twisted rabbit hole of passion and obsession between the two of you truly went.

You heard the sound of the wardrobe open.

Your eyes drifted back to him; he had turned away, reaching into the wardrobe, his back muscles on display as he searched for a shirt. You watched his arms flex before he pulled out a t-shirt and turned to face you.

"What was the news?" he inquired, shutting the wardrobe and leaning one shoulder against it while crossing his arms.

You stared at him, puzzled for a moment, until you suddenly recalled why you had rushed in to begin with.

"Oh right, well, um…" you mumbled, swallowing hard, unable to tear your gaze away from him.

A low chuckle escaped from his lips as he shook his head, the corners of his mouth curling upward in amusement.

Back during your days at Luke Skywalker’s little Jedi school, you had developed a crush on him, but after joining the First Order, you figured that silly infatuation would just burn out. You didn’t see him as often, and when you did, he was always hidden behind that mask and uniform, leaving everything to your imagination. And imagine you did, late at night in the quiet of your bed.

Now, here he was, disheveled from sleep, with hair a mess and voice deep and rough, waking all those feelings you thought had faded away. Of course, Kylo seemed to pick up on these emotions and found them quite amusing, which only added to your frustration.

"Oh, so you've completely blanked on the 'oh-so-crucial' news?" he smirked, casting a teasing glance your way, his expression a cryptic blend of mockery and intrigue.

“Well, if you answered your fucking phone, perhaps I wouldn’t have to burst in here and give you the news in person. You have to go to a meeting, something about the resistance. I'm not sure, I only woke up a few minutes before coming here.” You were flustered and tired, you had been asleep for a little more than an hour before someone came to wake you about some stupid meeting.

"Oh, so you burst into my room in the dead of night because I had to go to a meeting?" he asked, stepping away from the wardrobe and ruffling his hand

He seemed weary, the kind of exhaustion that sleep couldn't quite cure.

"You know how Hux gets, everything's a huge deal to him. I think it's about the resistance trying to hit some ships and failing," you explained, glancing into his deep eyes before quickly looking away, the intensity making your heart race.

"I didn't know I affected you so much" he laughed, ignoring your statement, folding his arms over his chest, his arm muscles bulging as he looked down at you. A lock of black hair fell in front of his face as his eyes ran over you. His gaze giving you butterflies.

"Kylo, cut it out," you said, pushing him back, "Stop playing around. I like everyone else on this ship. I just thought you lived in that tight black uniform and black cape," you said, your cheeks burning even hotter.

"Oh, you like my tight black uniform, do you?" he asked, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his mouth as he took a step closer to you.

You swallowed, barely able to focus on anything apart from him. The pair of you hadn’t talked this much since before he had taken the name of Kylo Ren. You thought this part of him was long dead. He was close now, his face just inches from yours, his eyes darting from your eyes to your lips as you stared at his. Then, he leaned in and kissed you softly, almost tentatively, as if he feared you'd pull away and slap him.

Your hand found its way to his hair as he rested his palm on your cheek. You surrendered to the feeling he evoked in you, a sensation you'd desperately tried to suppress. You intertwined your fingers in his hair, drawing him nearer. The kiss deepened, and you both stepped back, halted by the resistance his bed provided. Your hands then reached for the hem of his shirt, agitated by the barrier it presented between your touch and his skin.

He broke away from the kiss for a second.

"Don't stop," you whispered breathlessly, tilting your head back towards him, your tone tinged with frustration.

"Oh, so now you want my shirt off" he whispered you could feel the smile on his lips as he trailed kisses down your neck before, breaking away again and pulling his shirt off, throwing it onto the floor before returning his hands to your body.

One hand on your waist as the other snaked around and squeezed your butt gently. His other hand then moved to the buttons on your blouse near the collar, he popped the first one open with ease, but then immediately struggled with the other one. He pulled away from the kiss and looked down at your pyjama shirt.

"Fuck this" he mumbled hoarsely before kissing you again as he ripped open your shirt, you gasped as the plastic buttons bounced across the floor like marbles.

His hands moved to your breasts, their touch both gentle and intentional. He cupped one in his hand, while his thumb traced delicate circles over your nipple, sending shivers of pleasure coursing through your body. Unable to resist any longer, you pulled off your shirt, eager to welcome his touch fully.

"Lie back on the bed," he whispered softly, his voice a soothing command as he guided you gently. You reclined against the softness of his covers, feeling the warmth and comfort envelop you. His fingers traced along your arm, leaving a trail of tingling anticipation. Every movement was deliberate, creating an atmosphere charged with electricity as he hovered above you, his dark eyes filled with a mix of tenderness and desire. The room seemed to shrink around you, focusing your entire world on this intimate moment.

He delicately shifted his position on top of you, his thighs gently guiding your legs apart, creating a sensation of both vulnerability and anticipation. The warmth of his body pressed intimately against yours, grounding and exciting at once. His lips continued their soft exploration down your neck, each kiss leaving a trail of tingling warmth.

As his mouth reached your nipple, he lingered there, his tongue tracing mesmerising circles, drawing out a soft moan from deep within you. His touch was both tender and electrifying, each flick of his tongue causing ripples of pleasure to spread through you.

Meanwhile, his hands began their slow descent down the sides of your body, fingers gliding over your skin, as if memorising every curve. They paused momentarily to appreciate the gentle swell of your waist, before continuing downward with enticing patience.

As his fingers gripped the fabric, your body responded instinctively, your hips arching upward in a seamless, almost automatic motion. His touch, both firm and gentle, guided the fabric smoothly down your body, each inch revealing more of your skin to the cool air and his warm gaze.

He began kissing your neck again as you moaned, your body trembling with pleasure. If he wasn't supporting, you with his other arm, you would have collapsed right there. He slowly introduced one finger inside of you, delicately curling it and straightening it, his thumb continuing to rub your clit in a tantalising rhythm. This elicited new waves of pleasure to flood over you, causing you to arch your back against the bed.

Your breathing became more erratic as you drew nearer to the edge, then suddenly he pulled his hand away. You gasped, missing his touch and the way his finger felt inside of you.

"Don't stop" you whispered breathlessly, tilting your head back towards him.

He kissed you softly as he shifted your underwear aside, the hot tip of his erection contacting your wetness. He broke away from the kiss, the anticipation hanging heavy in the air. With a single thrust, he filled you, eliciting a gasp of surprise and pleasure. He began to move within you, each stroke creating new waves of ecstasy throughout your body. His hands found your hips, guiding them to a better angle, ensuring a steady, sensual rhythm as you locked your fingers behind his neck.

"Fuck," he whispered as he watched himself pump in and out of you, his chest heaving up and down in a rhythmic dance of desire and pleasure.

He seemed to gain pace with every thrust, his body moving in a crescendo of passion, each movement bringing him closer to the precipice of release. The rhythm of it had you teetering on the edge, ensnared in a symphony of raw sensation. With each surge forward, he drove you deeper into a world where nothing but the two of you existed.

Your senses spiralled out of control, focus narrowed down to him alone—the scent of his skin, the weight of his body, the raw power behind each thrust. The sounds that left his lips, breathy and deep, made you clench the fabric of the bed either side of you. The fire within you blazed, driven higher and brighter, stoked by him.

As he pulled you closer, the world narrowed even further, the intensity of the moment electrifying every fibre of your being. His lips found your neck, each kiss deliberate, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin. When he marked the tender skin just below your ear, it made you buck your hips towards him, the action rewarding you with a deep grunt of satisfaction from him.

"Holy shit," he breathed, his warm breath tickling your neck as you felt the tightening within you, clenching around him as he reached his release. Waves of ecstasy washed over you in unison, your bodies responding to one another in a symphony of pleasure. He thrust a few more times, each movement growing sloppier and more desperate, the intensity of the moment causing you both to lose yourselves in the bliss.

The sensation was overwhelming, a tidal wave of pleasure that seemed to crash over you both, leaving you gasping and breathless in its wake. His body continued to move in a frenzied dance of passion, his muscles tensing and releasing in a rhythmic pattern that was both beautiful and chaotic.

As he continued to thrust, you could feel the heat of his body mingling with yours, a fiery fusion of desire and satisfaction that seemed to burn away all thoughts and worries, leaving only the raw, primal pleasure of the moment.

His lips continued to press against your skin, each kiss a gentle reminder of his presence, an anchor that kept you both tethered to the physical world even as you soared higher and higher, lost in the ecstasy of the experience.

Finally, he slowly pulled out, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he planted a tender kiss on yours. His eyes, which had been dark and intense just moments ago, were now filled with a mix of satisfaction and wonder. It was a look that seemed to capture the entirety of the moment, a snapshot of the raw, primal connection that existed between the two of you.

But just as he opened his mouth to say something, a ringing sound filled the air, the tender moment shattered by the intrusion of an outside force. It was a sound that seemed to come from nowhere, a harsh, jarring note that served as a stark reminder of the world that existed beyond.

Kylo sighed and leaned over you, pressing a button, before laying on the bed and pulling you into his arms. The shrill voice of Hux filled the room.

“Sir, you missed the meeting. Resistance ships have been spotted in the airspace of two planets not known to be home to rebel forces.”

You rolled your eyes in exasperation, catching the playful glimmer in Kylo's eyes as he smiled at you, that slight upturn of his lips making your heart flutter. He then raised a finger to his lips, a silent gesture asking you to stay quiet.

“I’ve been busy with more important matters. I’ll await your update in the morning. Goodnight,” he said, his tone sharp yet commanding.

He clicked the machine again, the call abruptly ending with a finality that echoed in the room. His gaze, intense and soft all at once, lowered to meet yours. A hint of warmth flickered in his eyes as he leaned down, capturing your lips in a gentle yet lingering kiss. This seemingly simple gesture spoke volumes, conveying a mix of reassurance and longing after the interruption moments before. It was a silent promise whispered between hearts.

"Ready for Round Two?" he asked, a teasing smile playing at the corners of his lips as his eyes danced with mischief.

A/N: Completely unrelated to the story but, I use this writing app called Ulysses, and it has this editing mode that helps with grammar, and I love it. But the app is always like, more commas, we need all of them. Then the second that I copy and paste it into word to check the formatting, word immediately tells me that there are too many commas, that it's all wrong. It actually drives me insane.

[jewishvitya]

So many feelings about Alucard.

About how he's so kind and willing to help. Even after being betrayed, he was quick to go to the next people asking him to save them.

About how he says he's not used to people, but he isn't used to solitude either. He's used to having his parents alive. He never got to properly grieve his mom before he had to kill his dad. And they both loved him. He was loved and he had to lose her and kill him.

Next part is more negative hfsgsjjgsd and not just about Alucard

I hate Sumi and Taka. Alucard went from crying in a way that I thought looked like relief, to sobbing on the floor of his old bedroom, all because they were absolute idiots. Imagine asking for help learning how to be vampire hunters, both how to fight and how to use magic, and not expecting this training to take YEARS. Why are you si fixated on moving the fucking castle. Alucard didn't need to hold back to keep you there, teaching you would take time anyway. They spoke about how he's the reason the vampire that tormented them is dead, he saved humanity and got nothing in return but loneliness, and then they turn on him like that. Cruel and completely fucking stupid. Most pointless reason to die. Idiots.

Thinking about how people don't hesitate to leave him alone. Sypha and Trevor just... go away, without thinking twice about it. Sumi and Taka read malice into the fact that he enjoys having them around. When Sypha decides to leave in the ending, he says she should stay, and she says she can't only have one person. Didn't seem to cross her mind that he won't even have that. I'm not saying they should have stayed. I'm saying they didn't seem to even think about him and what it would do to him to be alone for such extended periods of time. I'm glad the ending went the way it did. He wasn't meant for solitude. Even if he'll always be lonely, outliving everyone, he should always have people around who care about him.

I don't like Issac. He's like "I brought here the monstrosities that have been killing people with the goal of extermination, bit I said I'm just passing through and the people still don't want me around with them. Clearly this is proof of the evil nature of humanity, and it shows they deserve to die." I just find him annoying.

I hate Saint Germain. I know he was manipulated, but as a result of his actions Alucard lost his old bedroom. That place meant something. It held memories. Both of his childhood, and of killing his dad and losing the last bit of family he had. It's where he went to cry. And I can't forgive him for Alucard's expression when he saw him trapping his parents in the Rebis body. Never seen him look that completely horrified, he looked frozen in place with horror. And he had to watch his friend kill his parents. That didn't need to happen!!

Watched Castlevania. I love Alucard.

[nocturnal-birb]

Any normal nsfw artist would be nonchalant drawing dicks or pussies but me? lord give me strength I can't do this without thinking of things

[gods-perfect-idiots]

something something blood-soaked hands cradling your face something something

anyway here's the post btw

[dreamtydraw]

Be kind to your local dreamty, they might be having the most gut wrenching cramps of the year, crying on their bed.

[bocchithelewd]

The inventor was of no help at all, being a complete dead weight even moreso than usual for the poor lover that dragged her out of the cafeteria. Her attention was.... divided, both worried about what all the pervs who were looking at her were going to do with the mental image of THE Miu Iruma, but she also let out slithering hisses and moans at the tactile touch of Tenko. She shivvered and belched as they were dragged back to the warehouse that Hopes Peak allowed to be Miu's workshop/room It was a huge place, filled with crazy inventions and odd machinery. In this room were doomsday devices, the key to automation on a mass field, and just...so many insane sex toys with varying purposes. For now, Miu dropped herself onto one of her more bizarre creations: The Oobleck mattress. As all of her weight came crashing down onto it, the mattress was firm and hard, more rigid than the cafeteria floor she had landed on. But as time would pass, it would become about as soft as Miu was. "Hmmm fuck...why am I still clothed? Tenkooooooooo, you know I do my best thinking when I'm naked....." She still sounded a little sad and subby, but at least she was asking something of Tenko. A step in the right direction to getting her back to her dominant bitch persona.

Miu stomped her foot impatiently as she waited outside the school cafeteria. The genius inventor didn't like to have her time wasted unless it was on her terms. She was one of the worlds brightest minds! With the time wasted here, she could have made the blueprints to a machine that would revolutionize society! Teleporters! Time machine microwaves that would instantly cook your food! A perpetual motion machine inside an anal plug! Her stomach growled as it yearned for food. Miu had packed on a good bit of weight in the past while, her inventions causing her to be more than a little lazy. She had outgrown her usual outfit 3 times over, and the school was tired of ordering her larger sizes. Her gain hadn't exactly been good to her, but at least she got something out of it. Some pervy lesbo was totally into her! A fat loving freak who would do anything she wanted!....or so she thought to be the case, but that bimbo was running late! "If she doesn't get here in the next 43 seconds, I'm going to build a chastity belt so strong, it'll outlast the human race and strap it to her!" She yelled to the heavens, other students giving her an odd look and ignoring her as they passed.

Thankfully for her own sake, as well as the eardrums of everyone else, the Ultimate Martial Artist was going full sprint, gracefully weaving by the girls and practically bowling over the men as she hurried as fast as her feet would carry her to her beloved, her Goddess, her reason for breathing and continuing to persist in this unforgiving world.

"Miu! Miu I'm here! Please please PLEASE forgive me for being late! I will accept any punishment you see fit!" Tenko Chabashira practically dropped into prostration before the blonde butterball bombshell, huffing and panting from the dead sprint she just came out of. This pair was certainly a head turner, no matter what they were doing or saying, everyone had to look. Like a drama show... or a car crash.

[rapidhighway]

ughh my anxiety got so much worse recently and idk what to do about itt sorry I gotta vent in here cause google ain't helping horrible amount of tmi warning ig....

[ruvviks]

having to wake up early five days a week is genuinely going to knock me the fuck out for the whole weekend

[kangaracha]

post the smau i’ve been without writing for three days and i already want to go back throw something else on my plate to distract me

rain is Plotting so just Wait also get out of here, i'm blocking you, remember. there's a whole 20k of nevermore waiting for you to read it. there's a whole 100k of heart.

[hyperfixation-tangentopia]

Hello I have produced a LMK x TOH AU out of nowhere XD

Basically Mei's first time using the Samadhi Fire goes HORRIBLY wrong and rips a hole in reality the same time Luz's broken portal caved in, and the LMK characters got yeeted into their world.

MK gets to be a monkey demon, Mei gets dragon features, Red Son gets bull features, and everything on everyone's ends gets screwed up because nobody could've expected this.

[pepperpatrol]

You can always recognize an office worker in a customer bc these guys felt so put upon and affronted by being asked to stay home during all of that that they just fucking forgot how to act in public. They demand things and say things to my face that they never would have before. I've been directly called a bitch and physically threatened more times in the last 4 years than I was in the entire decade of working in service positions beforehand.

I used to like people, man. People would act like we were beneath them for being service workers sometimes but before all that I think a majority of people were polite enough. I just don't give a shit about the complaints of people who were not essential workers unless those complaints are that they want to go back to working remotely because covid isn't fucking over. There is no complaint they can possibly have that can compare to having to be face to face with 100s of people every day that made it abundantly clear that they were (and are) willing to sacrifice your life for their convenience.

im not saying office jobs aren’t bad in some ways but its always very telling when people treat it like the WORST job at the bottom of the rung…because they have never had to face manual labor as a real option they would ever be forced to take.

[prentissluvr]

if i wake up to any amount of asks over zero i'll kiss all 851 of you just saying

[vaguenotions]

Oh, yes, I just love your unannounced sleepover where you both come back from the bar after carefully avoiding telling me that's where you were going, and also neglecting to tell me when you'd be home! I definitely do not want to knock you on your ass and take a bat to your dome! That would be rude and unnecessary :)

Oh yes, please do start talking about shit amongst yourselves and make me feel isolated and othered in ny own room! These moments are what I live for, of course. Naturally. Who would ever have any issues with this arrangement at all?

[ichthysgospel]

re ur tags fucking hell that sucks im so sorry. i shouldn't have assumed that was snarky, the notes on this post have been full of people being like WELL I SAW A DOCTOR ONE TIME AND IT DIDNT HELP! GOTCHA! so i kinda jumped to conclusions which was shitty & im sorry. i wish i had good advice for finding good doctors i literally just kept going to different ones until someone listened and giving the finger to the ones that didnt. to be fair when i got my ptsd dx i hadnt slept in a week (to avoid nightmares) and was tripping absolute balls (because apparently lack of sleep = hallucinations) so it was sort of. painfully in-your-face obvious what was going on. the doctor i was seeing before that told me i should just try to be more positive. and then refused to refill my meds unless i scheduled a pap smear. the guy before that was willing to prescribe meds but he didnt bother to look at my history and ordered meds that were straight up contraindicated for me. my most recent psychiatrist refused to prescribe anything for adhd because he thought i was ??? following a trend or something??? idk i have a good team now but it took like a decade and a lot of assholes along the way. i guess im saying hang in there/keep fighting to find a good one? and also sorry for being an ass.

aw this is actually so sweet thank you :( I'm not mad at you at all I genuine just kinda. forgot (?) doctors actually have a job besides taking your money and telling you to wait it out. I think I'm finally starting to get lucky with the doctors I have now I really appreciate the encouragement :)

[effiecalvin]

The Baby Is Fine

For sale baby shoes never worn. Oh he's not dead or anything he's just massive and they don't fit

For sale baby shoes never worn. They're Gucci, my sister got them for me and I'm not putting $600 shoes on a newborn Why the hell would anyone buy these? She's an idiot.

For sale baby shoes never worn. At least I don't think so. I found them in the eggs at the grocery store and they look pretty clean $20 obo

For sale baby shoes never worn. She doesn't have any feet but it's hardly slowing her down, honestly. I guess you can't miss what you never had.

For sale baby shoes never worn. Bought them and forgot about them for like six months, never even took them out of the box and now they're way too small. My brain is fried.

For sale baby shoes never worn. Fair warning though, they've got fucking minions on them.

For sale They were a gift from my great aunt and I don't want anything from that wretched harpy.

baby shoes I thought I could put them on my dog so he doesn't slip all over the kitchen floor but yeah it didn't work

never worn. I don't know. They're just ugly. Do I need a reason?

[lastoneout]

I keep thinking about all of the disabled activists and people before me who stranded themselves on the 4th floor of buildings for weeks and crawled up stairs and fought with airline staff and schools and doctors and refused to stop existing in the face of injustice and bigotry no matter how big and scary and hopeless it seemed. Every time I get angry and scared the protests that lead to the creation of the ADA pop up again and remind me that disabled people are so much fucking stronger than anyone has ever given us credit for, and I can't help but be proud of that. And I know not all disabled people feel like we should take pride in our disabilities and have flags or whatever, but I think not just living, but thriving, in spite of a world that wants us dead and gone, in the face of both illness and persecution, and how we've not only bought ourselves forward, but uplifted the disabled people around us, secured more equal futures for everyone who will come after, and truly changed the way so many abled people have seen us for the better is something to be damn fucking proud of.

We have always been here and we always will be, there will never be a world without disabled people because being disabled is not bad, it's a natural part of the human experience and yeah it sucks some times but even when it sucks we have fought to build beautiful, unique, happy lives with people, both like us and not, and that should be celebrated.

The first sign of human civilization is the healed femur. The body of the profoundly disabled person who would have needed help to even just eat being carefully laid to rest after decades of a full, happy life. The medicinal plants showing even before we were entirely human we were doing what we could to not just survive, but alleviate suffering while we're at it. Above everything, evolution selected not the baby who can walk and eat and be quiet, but the one that can ask for help.

Disabled people are not just angry cockroach motherfuckers who refuse to die, we are proof of humanity's HUMANITY. Proof that natural selection selected a species that takes care of each other. From healed femurs and medicinal plants to vaccines and IVs and insulin to now, we are driven to help one another, we are at our strongest when we don't leave our most vulnerable behind. And I am living proof of that. My mother is living proof of that. Every disabled and chronically and/or mentally ill person I know is living proof of that.

And I don't know about the rest of you, but will carry that shred of humanity's true nature inside me like it's my fucking soul. I am scared and angry and hurt, but I have a lifetime's experience being scared and angry, and I can shake off the kind of pain that would make Atlas crumble to dust like it's nothing but a stiff fucking breeze. Disabled people have always been here, turning fear and anger and pain into joy and beauty and connection, and I'm not going to let everyone who came before me down. I'm not going to give up. Not now, not ever.

It's okay if you're disabled and you've hit your limit, you're too scared and tired and hurt, I won't blame you. But I won't abandon you, either. I might not be able to right all of the wrongs in the world, but I'll be strong, I'll carry all of you with me, I will not give up.

As I've said before, society hates a cripple who won't die, so we must spite them and live anyway.

Please, live anyway. I know if anyone can, it's us.