#and i'm falling behind just like in everything else

[hyunjuenthusiast]

BITTERSWEET (PART 2)

Summary: Y/n has always been sweet to everyone, no matter their background or their appearance. So what happens when Y/n is sweet to the wrong person?

Pairing: Yandere!Hyun-ju x Femreader!

Warnings: Yandere tendencies, stalking, obsession, angst, captivity, kidnapping.

PREVIOUSLY

"Y-You're fucking crazy." Y/n whispers. Hyun-ju's lip quivers. "P-Please don't say that." Y/n's eyes widen as Hyun-ju picked up a bag...the same bag she would bring to the bakery. Hyun-ju opens it, and it's filled to the brim with money. "I was awarded 45.6 billion won. But I had to watch everyone die." Hyun-ju says sadly. "But not you. I'll never let anything hurt you, sweet girl. This time will be different." She says as she gets up and scoops some pasta onto a plate.

NOW

Y/n sat on the bed, the bed that wasn't hers. Hyun-ju had brought her to a secluded cabin after they had dinner. Y/n had, of course, tried to reason with Hyun-ju, call for help, even, but it was pointless. The woman was blinded with whatever obsession she had with Y/n. And Hyun-ju was strong.

As soon as Y/n had tried running away, Hyun-ju had stopped her, breaking her promise of not drugging her again. Apologizing, putting her in the car and taking her to this damn cabin.

Hyun-ju had thought of everything. If Y/n got bored, there are movies, games, books, puzzles, art supplies, and even a tablet, which she learned quickly that she couldn't call the police on.

There's clothes that Hyun-ju knows Y/n will like in the closet, all in the right sizes. All of Y/n's favorite snacks are in the kitchen. The walls are decorated like Y/n's Pinterest boards. If it weren't for the circumstances, Y/n would have been grateful... though the chain around her ankle didn't help with that.

She is snapped out of her thoughts when she hears the front door close...Hyun-ju had returned.

As nice as Hyun-ju is...she still scared Y/n. No matter how sweet she seemed, Y/n knew that Hyun-ju was capable of bad things, why else would she justify kidnapping?!

There's a soft knock on the door. "Y/n? May I come in?" Hyun-ju asks. Y/n scoffs. Why bother to ask when she has a key to every room in this damn cabin? "If you must" Y/n responds.

Hyun-ju walks in, shutting the door carefully behind her. She gives Y/n a small smile, one that Y/n does not return.

"I picked up some lunch while I was out." She tells Y/n, seemingly trying to cheer her captive up. "I'm not hungry." Y/n whispers, Hyun-ju frowns.

"Oh" She says softly, her expression falling. "A-Are you sure? You didn't have any breakfast either... I-I thought getting takeout would help."

Y/n hugs her knees to her chest, making the chain rattle. Hyun-ju sits on the edge of the bed, sitting the bag of food on the nightstand. She fiddles with her hands. "I know this must be hard for you, sweet girl." She says softly, turning her head to look at Y/n.

"But I promise, you don't have to be afraid. Not of me." She says, giving Y/n a pleading look. Hyun-ju reaches over, gently putting some of Y/n's hair behind her ear. "I would never hurt you, Y/n."

Y/n turns her head away from Hyun-ju's touch. "You need help." Y/n says, making Hyun-ju looks down.

"You just need time, sweetness. That's all. I know this is all overwhelming for you, and I know you need time to adjust." Hyun-ju says as she gets up, making Y/n tense.

She leans down, kissing Y/n's head gently. "I'm going to do some laundry for a while, baby. You can eat whenever you're ready and if you need me just shout, I'll hear you, okay?" She says softly. Y/n says nothing, waiting for her to leave.

Hyun-ju takes the hint and shuts the door softly behind her on her way out.

For the first time since Hyun-ju has brought her here, Y/n allows herself to let go. She sobs as she realizes just how crazy her former friend is. How was she supposed to get back home?

She sits there, crying, for what feels like forever. The bag of her favorite fast food sits forgotten on the nightstand.

Hyun-ju sits in the laundry room, folding a pair of Y/n's jeans as she hears her crying upstairs. Tears spring in Hyun-ju's eyes. Her poor baby, she's been through so much. Hyun-ju closes her eyes, vowing to herself that she would give Y/n the best life she could. Y/n would want for nothing. She would have everything she needed here, with her.

As it gets darker outside, Y/n hears footsteps coming up the steps. She tenses as Hyun-ju knocks on the door. "Sweetness? I got all of your laundry caught up...can I come in?" Y/n says nothing, and Hyun-ju takes that as a sign to enter.

Y/n watches as Hyun-ju carries the basket of clean clothes to the closet, starting to hang up the clothes. Hyun-ju has a soft look in her eyes as she looks over to Y/n, and then her eyes shift to the nightstand where she sees the food that has gone untouched.

"You must be hungry, baby. I can cook whatever you'd like?" Hyun-ju asks as she puts a shirt of Y/n's on a hanger. When Y/n doesn't say anything, Hyun-ju eyes soften even more.

"Anything you want, I can make. If you're in the mood for spicy, salty, savory, healthy... anything. I'll make it." Hyun-ju says, getting no response yet again. "Or we can skip straight to dessert, I have everything that I need to make strawberry brownies!" Y/n looks at Hyun-ju, slightly intrigued.

Hyun-ju gives her a soft smile. "Strawberry brownies, it is then!"

Y/n cringes as Hyun-ju walks over to the dresser with the basket, putting away all of her socks, bras, and underwear. "H-Hyun-ju?" Y/n asks, fiddling with her hands. Hyun-ju looks over, her gaze always soft. "I-I can do my laundry next time..." She says, making Hyun-ju smile.

"I really don't mind, Y/n. I like doing things for you. You shouldn't have to do any work, sweet girl." Hyun-ju explains. "But if you're bored, I can bring you down with me next time?" Y/n head pops up. "You mean like...taking the chain off?" Y/n asks, making Hyun-ju look down guiltily.

"Yeah, baby." Hyun-ju says, sitting the basket down and walking over to the bed, sitting on the edge. She gently reaches towards Y/n's ankle where the chain is connected. Hyun-ju hated the thought of Y/n being in pain. That's why the cuff was padded. "I'm so sorry, Y/n. Is it hurting you?" She asks, looking back to Y/n.

"N-No." Y/n says in truth. "I just really want it off... it's not very comfortable." She says, trying to hopefully get Hyun-ju to remove it.

Hyun-ju frowns, and her hand gently cradles Y/n's ankle. "I'm sorry, sweetness, I can take it off, but I have to know that you won't try anything that might get you hurt. You can't leave, baby. I know you want to, but I need to know that you won't try." She says softly.

Y/n perks up. "I won't! I promise!" She says with excitement. Hyun-ju looks at her with a small smile. "Okay, sweet girl, I believe you, and I'm trusting your word." She says, reaching in her sweater pocket for the key.

She gently holds Y/n's ankle as she unlocks the cuff. Y/n breathes a sigh of relief when it comes off. Hyun-ju looks down at Y/n's ankle, gently massaging it just in case it's sore. "Does it hurt?" She asks, making Y/n shake her head in response.

"Do you want to come downstairs with me while I make the brownies?" Hyun-ju asks. Y/n nods quickly, happy to get out of this room that she's been in for a week straight.

Once downstairs, Y/n looks around a bit. When they had first arrived here, she didn't really get a chance to see that much of anything in her drugged state before Hyun-ju had chained her up.

The kitchen is nice...fancy but not too big. Reminding Y/n that Hyun-ju had money. Y/n goes to sit at the table but yelps when Hyun-ju gently hoists her up onto the counter.

Hyun-ju giggles as she sees the look of terror on Y/n's face. "I'm sorry baby, but the table is too far away, I want you close." She says, leaning over and kissing Y/n on the cheek.

Y/n shifts uncomfortably, watching as Hyun-ju gets out everything to make the strawberry brownies. She's skeptical when she sees a box of strawberry cake mix. Hyun-ju smiles. "They're good, I promise." She says, walking back over to where Y/n was sat on the counter. She puts her hands gently on the sides of Y/n's hips. "Only the best for you..." Hyun-ju whispers to Y/n, making her tense.

Once the brownies are done, Hyun-ju makes Y/n's plate. They sit down at the table, enjoying the sweet treat.

"Do you like them? I can tweak the recipe a bit if you'd like? Or I can make them homade, I'm sure they would taste better?" Hyun-ju asks as Y/n finishes her second brownie.

"There're good. Thank you." Y/n says, fiddling with her hands nervously. As whatever her captor was talking about goes on, Y/n looks around once more.

When Hyun-ju isn't paying attention, Y/n keeps glancing at the knife set that'son the counter. If she was fast enough, she could make a run for it and defend herself if need be, and get the hell out of here.

"Y/n?" She's quickly snapped out of her thoughts. "W-what? Sorry." Hyun-ju gently grabs her hand, caressing it with her thumb. "I asked if there was anything you wanted to do tonight." Hyun-ju says.

"Oh, umm I don't know, whatever you want to do I guess." She says, taking her hand out of Hyun-ju's.

Hyun-ju gives her a sad look. "No no baby, I want you to choose. We can do whatever you want, a movie, a game, a puzzle, anything!" She says, trying to get Y/n to engage.

"....Do you have uno?" Y/n asks, Hyun-ju smiles. "I sure do. Let me get the deck, I'll be right back, okay?" She says to Y/n softly. Y/n nods.

Hyun-ju kisses Y/n's forehead before heading to the living room to get the deck. Y/n had never moved quicker in her life. She grabbed one of the knives before sitting back down at the table.

She quickly puts it under her thigh as Hyun-ju comes back with the deck of uno cards.

Y/n shakily reaches for the deck, preparing to shuffle the cards when Hyun-ju gently stops her. "Let me do that, sweetness." She says softly, taking the card from Y/nand shuffling them herself.

Y/n could practically hear her own heartbeat. She had never used a knife to hurt someone before, but this was the only way she could think of to escape. Maybe it wouldn't come to that, maybe a bluff would be enough.

"Y/n?" She's snapped out of her thoughts yet again. She looks to Hyun-ju, who had already felt the cards it seemed. The woman gives her a reassuring smile. "You can go first." Hyun-ju says.

Y/n picks up her deck, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible, even though she can feel the handle of the knife under her. She lays down a green 4.

The game lasts a while. When Y/n puts down a color that Hyun-ju doesn't have, she's confused when Hyun-ju only picks up two cards. "What are you doing? You have to draw until you get the color or the number that matches." She explains. "Don't tell me you play the stupid way!"

Hyun-ju chuckles. "The stupid way? That's just how I was taught, baby. Though I'm sure you know better than I do, I'll draw until I get the color." She says to Y/n with a small smile, glad that she was finally somewhat relaxed.

Y/n knows Hyun-ju let her win.

"Is there anything else you wanted to do? I can make you something else to eat if you're still hungry or we can watch a movie?" Hyun-ju asks. Y/n looks up at her, nervous.

"I-Im tired, I think I'll just go to bed." She says, reaching down to feel the knifes handle. "Okay, sweet girl, whatever you want." Hyun-ju says as she watches Y/n stand up, noticing one for her hands was behind her back.

She knew Y/n had the knife. Her experience in the army had always had her guard up high. But she couldn't blame her. She knew Y/n was scared, terrified even. But she hated the thought that Y/n thought she had to defend herself. Hyun-ju would NEVER hurt Y/n. Ever.

"I'll walk you back up to your room once you put the knife back, Y/n." She says softly.

All the color from Y/n's face drains. "W-what?" She whispers, maybe she heard that wrong. "I'm not mad, sweet girl. I could never ve mad at you, I just don't want you to hurt yourself, so please." Hyun-ju says as she holds out her hand, wanting Y/n to give her the knife.

Y/n quickly takes a step back, already so close to the wall, and holds the knife up in front of her. "D-Dont come near me." She says, her hand shaking.

Hyun-ju frowns. "Y/n, please, put that down. You know I would never hurt you." She says. Y/n scoffs scaredly. "You're only saying that." Y/n says, her eyes slightly wide. Hyun-ju shakes her head softly in response. "I love you, Y/n. I would never do anything to hurt you. You know that. So please, put that down."

Y/n looks to the hallway, wondering if she could just make a run for it. "I'll catch you." Hyun-ju says, which makes Y/n turn to face her. "If you run, I'll catch you." She says, knowing what Y/n was thinking.

Y/n tenses. "I know that scares you, sweetness. But you know I'll always catch you. I know it might not seem like it right now, but I only want what's best for you. Nothing can hurt you here. Not with me." She says, taking a step forward.

Y/n grips the knife. "Please just let me go," She says, tearing up. Hyun-ju softens. "I can't do that, baby." She says.

As Y/n starts to cry, Hyun-ju quickly darts her hand out, successfully getting the knife out of Y/n's hand.

Y/n quickly struggles as Hyun-ju holds her, squirming to get away from the love sick woman.

Hyun-ju says sweet nothings as she gently tries to drag Y/n back to her room without being to rough.

Hyun-ju makes the mistake of putting her hand to close to Y/n's face, giving her the perfect opportunity to bite.

She winces and retreats as she feels Y/n's teeth through her skin.

Y/n makes a dash to the front door, screaming as she hears Hyun-ju coming from behind her. After she unlocks the last lock, she bolts out, hearing Hyun-ju shouting behind her, pleading for her to listen, to come back.

Y/n can barely see with how dark it is, but she runs as fast as she can. It didn't look like there was anything but woods, so she quickly darted into some.

She could still hear Hyun-ju, but she didn't give a fuck, she was going home.

Y/n ran for a good while, stopping every few minutes to breathe, but she finally, finally makes it to a road. She can't hear Hyun-ju anymore, but she knows that the woman is still looking for her.

Y/n holds her hands up as she sees headlights. She didn't even notice that they were driving on the wrong side of the road.

"PLEASE STOP! HELP ME!" Y/n screams, waving her arms wildly. She forces the car to stop when she runs in front of it.

The middle-aged man stops his car, giving Y/n a concerned look, rolling down his window. He tries asking what the problem was... Only Y/n couldn't understand what he was saying. He wasn't speaking Korean or English.

She runs over to the passenger side, getting in, crying. "Please please I need the police! I've been kidnapped!" She says sobbing. The man only says something in a language she can't understand and starts driving. "Thank you thank you" Y/n cries.

It looks like the man pulls into a police station, she quickly gets out, thanking the man again, before racing inside.

Everyone gives her strange looks. She tries asking the person at the front desk to help her, explaining that she had been taken by Hyun-ju, but they can't understand her, not even in Korean.

The lady puts up a finger, signaling for Y/n to wait. She goes away and comes back with another woman, a different police officer. "I'm sorry ma'am, how may I help you?" The officer says, her accent heavy.

"Yes, yes, I need help! I've been kidnapped, I don't know where I am, please! Help me! I-I live on South Street of Soul!" Y/n explains. The officer's eyes widen.

"Ma'am that can't be." She says, causing Y/n to falter. "W-What?" She says to the officer.

The officer looks at her, a little pale. "Ma'am.... you're in Thailand."

THE LONG AWAITED PART 2!!!!! I rewrote this so many times ✋🏻😭 I hope you guys like it 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[scam-alerts]

Hey, could you do a post on the spacers.exe scam on discord please? I got hacked from it and a friend then got hacked by my account and it super sucks!

🔎Scam Exam(ination)🔍

Seen as: Free game / Try my game Scam Type: Malware / Password Stealer

Platform: Discord

Note: This post will contain a collection of data from across the internet, mainly reddit where people have figured out how this malware works and what it does at its core. I will do my best to explain to you what's going on behind the scenes.

Here's a video talking about this same type of scam by NTTS:

If you'd like my take on it, click read more and let's continue!

-----

1 - How it starts

The way this scam works is by a friend of yours, or someone in the same server as you, falling for this scam and downloading then opening the malicious file that their friend had sent to them. In a very long line of things, it's a chain reaction of them hijacking and using the stolen account to then scam someone else. And if you're not quick enough, it can and will steal everything on your computer/phone.

Not everyone on the internet is scam savvy, but that's what guides like these are meant to help with. :)

Here are two images taken from reddit on what it looks like when you're contacted by the hijacked account:

Immediate red flags:

I'm a developer. Try my game. Can you test my game?

Other reported red flags to look out for:

I need you to beta test my game. Download my game and try it for 4-5 minutes then write a review. Here's a free key/password for the game go to this link. I'm working on a project and need someone to try my game. I'll give you free items/vip if you try my game. Try this new mobile game <link> ** and I'll give you items. I'll pay you $ via PayPal or give you Nitro if you try it.

What it boils down to, is that for this scam to work, they need you to download the file they send you, or a file that's uploaded via a link to a file sharing website, and then you have to open the file.

Do not do this, obviously.

Do not accept any suspicious .exe or .jar files from your friends or fellow server members if you do not know what might be inside it.

** Sometimes they will send you an APK file or a link to the google play store for a mobile game, and sadly this too, is malware, and it will steal your passwords. Again, do not download it.

2 - The Malware/Virus

If you were someone who downloaded a file like this and then opened it, you have now infected your computer, and... unfortunately, all of your Passwords, addresses, Crypto info, and credit card information, have now been compromised.

Nothing is safe with this Malware.

A more in depth explanation of spacers.exe can be found here as well as how to remove spacers.exe:

Here's a second NTTS video explaining how the inner workings of this can work from the scammers point of view:

3 - The Goal

The goal of this malware, as noted above, is not just to steal your passwords, credit card info, but also your discord account.

There are people who will pay for this malware (it is being sold for others to use, which sucks) so that they can take over your discord accounts if you have certain badges or names.

If a scummy individual running this scam wants something they don't have that you do, they will try to take it from you.

Do be warned that if you fall for this, you may also receive threatening emails to have your personal information leaked if you don't pay a ransom/money amount after you got infected.

This is a scare tactic.

This was noted in this post from Dec 3rd 2024:

-----

Final Thoughts: All I can say is.. common sense should be a big factor here. Internet safety 101 and all that. You shouldn't be clicking links to anything or anyone saying something's 'free' or with the offer of you getting some reward from it. Nor should you go believing or downloading things from your friends if they start acting weird or weirder than normal.

Pro tip: If you get a message on steam or discord by someone asking you to 'visit this website' to 'vote for my friend in <thing>' that too is a scam and it will steal your login information.

If you're like me and your best friend on the internet is someone you've known online for 18 years, having him suddenly say 'I'm a developer try my game' would be a big indicator to me that his account was compromised.

If you can, try to make sure you're connected with your friends through other outlets like tumblr or bluesky. Or even through e-mail (as old as that seems lol.)

That way if something goes wrong, they can at least let you know about it.

[cherryblossms]

it only made sense, to garam at least, that he'd worry about disturbing anybody's peace. he was my boyfriend and i had to worry about annoying him. the words garam thought but didn't dare actually verbalizing. he'd already eluded to axel enough, he didn't want to directly speak of him and risk ruining the air between himself and angel right now. he was also afraid of angel possibly being hurt by the fact that garam was thinking about his ex in a moment like this. "just tell me if whatever i'm doing bothers you." at least if he found out early on, he'd know how not to behave going forward. "and i mean anything. if i snore too much when i'm asleep or if i chew too loud, talk too loud, or breathe too loud." the last one was a habit he only found himself doing when his focus was intense while gaming, something he had to break himself out of since it was commented on a lot pretty early on in his career. but outside of his fanbase, nobody else had found the sound of his breathing to be bothersome. it took him a moment to gather the courage to drop his hands from his face and, when he did, his cheeks were so red. he was beyond just embarrassed, especially after angel continued to question him. everything after good boy essentially went in one ear and out the other without his brain having the chance to process what was said to him. he was only pulled back to reality once the other tugged at his earlobe, a soft moan leaving his lips snaping his attention. then most of angel's words began to register, his brows beginning to furrow as he instantly moved his hands to his lap to provide himself what little coverage his hands could give. "you can't say things like that to me." he whispered, shaking his head. it just wasn't fair, anybody could get garam to do whatever they wanted with the smallest amount of appraisal. even if it wasn't necessarily in a sexual or physical context. his gaze dropped down to his own lap, brows furrowing even more as he grew frustrated with himself for getting turned on by those words; good boy. he really did want to eat breakfast with angel, he wanted to go out shopping together and just spend the day with him. but his body wanted something more than that, more than what was already given to him. garam looked back to up angel, doing all that he could not to look as desperate as felt he was to be touched by the man again. "i don't want you to think i'm some sex addict or anything like that, because i'm-i'm not." but how could anybody believe that when angel had gotten him hard, in some sense, three times now in less than a twenty four hour timeframe. maybe it was because it'd been such a long time since he felt excited for something as simple as physical touch, knowing that there was true emotion behind angel's words and his actions weren't driven by the desire to come by any means. "you've always been so careful with me, you've always gone out of your way to care for me. how am i not supposed to be turned on by you? emotionally—" he felt guilty, knowing that others could see that garam used angel emotionally before he had the chance to realize it, himself, "i'm so sorry for having done this to you. i mean, i'm sure you've had lovers in the mean time but waiting and watching the things i've done, how i've behaved, who i associated with... i'm not a good boy, i shouldn't be rewarded when i've been so bad." he slowly moved his hands away from his lap, letting them fall from his thighs to rest on top of the mattress on each side of his calves; his fingers grasping at the material below them. "we should eat," he blurted out, thinking if he changed the subject quick enough, angel wouldn't have a chance to process what he'd said and respond. "you're hungry and i'm hungry. and-and there's a lot i have to buy and i don't want to be out too late... you know, just in case." the last thing he wanted was to risk running into axel and have their day together ruined.

Hearing Garam ask him to join the hunt for warmer socks was enough to put him at ease. What Angel didn’t expect was the man’s full confession. He sat there quite with a blank stare. But because he wasn’t listening but more from shock. All of this was going on in his mind? Angel thought himself unable to fathom how Garam even functioned with all of that going on. However, he stayed completely silent until he seemed the man ran out of breath from his gasping. Angel’s eyes softened as he leaned forward and kissed the other man’s hands. “I’m sorry I wasn’t clear about my feelings. Each word followed with a soft kiss to Garam’s hands. “Since when do you care about annoying me? Garam you are my best friend first before anything else. That will never change.” Angel smiled as he moved closer looking at the way the man was sitting. Angel always found him cutest like this. So flustered and unsure, “I don’t regret what we did Garam. Not right now. I’m still working through some things. Some days I’m okay and some days it hard to get out of bed. But what I want you to focus on is how I feel about you. That is what I was trying to say earlier.” He continued wanting to cover everything Garam said. Angel wanted to show him he was listening and took all his words seriously. “Well baby, you made a rule and I made a rule. We have plenty of time to work up to that. What a beautiful mess you would make. Don’t be scared I’ll never do anything you are not comfortable with. And I’ll never do anything I don’t want to do. I appreciate you being worried for me but I’m a big boy. I’ll speak up for myself” Angel cooed putting his face inches from Haram’s hands, “please look at me baby, I want to see your handsome face” he whispered kissing his hands once more. Angel smirked as he leaned closer to the other man’s ear, “So you thought about me? What exactly did you picture Garam? You don’t think I want more of you? Hearing you moan for me, like the good boy you are?” He was having too much fun with this. How could he not get turned on by the way Garam was talking. However, he pulled back when the man invited him once again out with him shopping, “Tour deer really caught me by surprise. Just warn me next time they are freezing. But I would love to help you shop for anything you need. It’s still early we can cuddle some more…or you know I could go another round?” He grinned as he playfully bit the man’s ear lobe before pulling away. “After I can cook for us and we head out shopping. How does that sound?”

[storiesfromafan]

Missing Him/Her Was Dark Grey

A/N: I know I'm late to post, on day 3 of a migraine but it's moving on slowly. I bring you the last part of whatever this is 😅 I couldn't find the names of Johnny and Betty's girls, so I gave them names. Pls correct me if they do have names.

Previously: part one, part two

There will be a note at the end, it's a little important.

Warning/s: possible spelling/grammers mistakes

Tag list: @charmingballoon @strayrockette

Being gone for almost three months – open road, his bike and no responsibilities – gave Benny a lot of time to think. Thinking and weighing up the pro's and con's of his relationship with you, which he fully admits was left the worst way. Never had any relationship of his had a moment remotely as bad as that. Yet, no relationship was ever like what he had with you. Sure, there were women before you, but they never lasted or effected him like you did.

You were the light in a dim time. The calm to his storm. Yet that calm did bring on the storm too. If there wasn’t passion there wouldn’t be intense fights. Benny could see that. When you fought he would be passionate about it, about you, but that voice in his head. It was hard to tune out. But from years of being not good enough, it was always there loud and clear. Even when he knew better with you, that it wasn’t like that with you. It was different this time.

You had seen him before he saw you, but Benny was the first to fall. Flirting with you and putting himself out there, while you tip toed around him, doing everything to avoid getting close to the Vandal. But he got you on the back of his bike, and that was it. Sure, slow to start, but slow turned to a moderate pace before fast. A speed Benny was use too.

That was why he came back, he was back for you. No matter how much he tried to turn it off, he couldn’t stop thinking about you or loving you. So he had put on his grownup pants – metaphorically of course – and was back in town for you. Benny was ready to do anything and everything to get you back.

Unfortunately it didn’t look that way for you. As he rolls into town, passing the movie theatre, there you were. And not alone. It was brief but the man beside you looked like a complete square, the ideal man to bring home to your family. First there was anger that some guy was out with you. And secondly that turned to utter anguish that you were out on a date with someone else.

Unable to approach you without loosing it, Benny chose to ride on. And right to Grand and Division. Sure, he’d thought about heading to your house. But it would only be the same, or worse if you were planning to take the guy back to your place. That thought truly gutted him. The idea of another man touching you, kissing you and in your bed. He was close to just not even stopping, just riding back out of town. But Benny had been on the road for hours. He needed to stop, not to mention a beer or three.

Before he even entered the bar, just parked his bike, Johnny and a few other familiar faces came rushing out of the building. Benny had just gotten off his bike when Johnny patted him on the back, laughing and saying how it had been a while. Ushering him into the bar, Benny remained silent while the men around him fussed over him. They were truly happy to see him after being gone. Benny had hoped this was the reception he’d have gotten from you. Instead he was greeted to you and your new beau.

It was a blur of men and drinks, and yet he hardly spoke, unless he had too. Moving around the room to different groups. Even a quick game of pool, which he had no real interest in. Finally stepping out into the night, Benny pulled out a cigarette and lit it while standing in the semi dark street. Other than the muffled noise of the bar, it was quiet. Just what he needed after the night he’d had.

The doors behind him opened, but Benny didn’t turn to see whoever it was. He didn’t really care, so long as he was left alone. Unfortunately Johnny didn’t get that memo. Stepping up next to Benny, he too lit up a cigarette and enjoyed the first inhale. Both men stood there in silence. For Benny it was perfect, he was happy to not speak. Yet Johnny was fidgety, uneasy even. For he’d kept an eye on the young Vandal all night, and could see he wasn’t himself, coming to the conclusion something was up.

“So...” Johnny started, “what’s goin' on? Ya more quiet then usual...”

Benny sighed. Knowing this was coming. “Rough ride...” he offered, hoping that would the end of it.

Johnny studied Benny's profile, knowing that wasn’t it. “Nuh, it’s somethin' else. Talk to me kid...”

Johnny was trying to remain calm, voice soft. Not to spook or anger Benny. He truly wanted to know if the younger man was alright. Because whatever was going on, it showed that it was weighing him down. Diming the light that Benny always had. To Johnny, Benny was like a brother, and he worried about him all the time.

Taking a deep drag of his cigarette, Benny released it was a long sigh. “I saw her, with a...date”. The word date almost being spat, like it was poison.

Johnny slowly nodded his head, the man’s words sinking in. “Oh...I see".

“I saw ‘em as I rode back into town...” Benny paused, taking another drag of his cigarette. “They were by her car. It was a brief moment, but it was her...” He dropped the cigarette and proceeded to stomp it out, like how his heart was feeling.

The older Vandal watched the younger beside him. Seeing how this was really affecting him. That was when Johnny realised Benny had come back for you. All this time away and riding around, he’d made up his mind, and chose you. That he wanted and needed you. But now, having seen you with another guy, the man before him looked crushed and defeated. Though Benny only had himself to blame. Taking off in the first place hadn’t helped, or for so long. If he’d stayed around or came back sooner, maybe you wouldn’t have moved on like you have.

“Well kid...what did ya expect?” He questioned, knowing this was going to be a hard pill for Benny to swallow. That the truth would hurt. “Ya left, and she went through the break up process. It would only be a matter of time before she started seeing someone...”

Benny swallowed hard, trying to accept what the man was saying. Though he didn’t like it, or that he was right. “Yeah, I know...” he paused for a moment. “I-I just didn’t expect it to be so soon...”

Yet again Johnny patted him on the back, but this one was full of sympathy. “Yeah, I know kid...”

Silence rolled in after that. Neither having anything to say, or that there was really any more to be said. Johnny had kept an eye on you, seen you go through the motions and process Benny's absence and the breakup. Yet he didn’t think you’d be dating yet. To him there had to be more to it, but didn’t voice these thoughts. Not wanting to fire Benny back up, for he had finally settled.

The following days Benny had kept to sticking around Grand and Division. Playing pool as a way to distract himself, as well as keeping his hands busy. For Benny feared if he wasn’t kept busy, he just might do something he’d regret. Be it tracking down the man he’d seen with you, or confronting you and that going down in a blaze of heated words, with many he’d come to truly regret.

This was on him. He knew that, and could see it. He was to blame. Benny had done his soul searching while away, finally ready to take ownership for his part in your final fight, and breakup. He was ready to admit to all his short comings, manning up to carry the weight and do what was required of him to fix the relationship. But now he wasn’t sure about it. And with his doubts that voice began to surface, getting louder and louder. Sowing the seed of doubt deeper in him, wanting it to take root for good. So that doubt and that voice would never leave him.

And Johnny could see it. Watching the young Vandal, he could see the doubt taking root. Shutting himself off more to the world around him. This wasn’t the Benny he knew. Nor did he want too. Johnny wanted to see the laid back, care free and madly in love with you Benny. The one who would enjoy being around his club, with a passion for riding. Not this shell of a man that was playing pool with Corky.

Johnny knew he had to do something, anything, to help his friend. Now he just had to figure out what to do to help Benny...

After the blind date incident, you had been keeping your distance from those friends. If you could really call them that. They were barely friends anymore, when you were younger and in school together, you were more alike. But after school, years of working and then Benny, you weren’t like them anymore, not entirely at least. Of course Sally phoned the next day, wanting to know how it went after they left. You told her exactly how it went, and that you weren’t interested in being set up with any other men.

“Oh come on (Y/N/N)!” Sally sighed on the other end of the phone. “You have to put yourself out there, you aren’t getting any younger, Hun”.

Hun. How you detested that word. It was Sally's affectionate word to use when she was pissed off. Looking back on your friendship, you noted every time she used it when frustrated, angry or not getting her way. And that’s when you realised how entitled she was. How she was the one to influence those around her so everything was what she wanted or expected. This time she was not getting her way.

“I am serious Sally. I don’t want to be set up or blindsided into dates" you stated firmly. “I am not ready to move on, I am still processing my breakup with Benny. So I kindly ask that you don’t put me in that position again".

You wish you could see her face, as you just know she would be mad. And her tone told you that she was. “Look Hun, I was just trying to be a good friend. I am sorry that you weren’t happy. But I truly had your best interest in mind”.

You smirked, just feeling her holding herself back. “I understand, I just hope you’ll be more considerate from here on out, yeah?”

There was a knock at your front door. “Sorry Sally, I have to go. Someone’s at the front door".

Before Sally could respond to you, you hung up the phone. That being the best feeling so far of the day. There came a knock again, so you quickly moved from the kitchen and across the lounge room to the front door. Upon opening it you were greeted to Betty, soft smile upon her face and some beers.

“Had a bad day?” You asked her with a laugh.

“I thought you might be havin’ the bad day” Betty replied, moving to sit on your porch.

You followed her out, taking a seat next to her on the bench. “Oh it wasn’t too bad" – you took the beer she offered you – “but hanging up on one of the girls from the movies the other night, the high and mighty one, just perked me up".

Betty laughed as she cracked open her can. “You didn’t!” – you nodded your head – “oh she’d love that. She was the one we ran into a few weeks ago, right? Blonde and wears those high-end dresses? Husband has a cushy office job?”

You nodded. “That’s the one, Sally" you took a sip from the can. “She tried to act like she was helping me by setting me up on that blind date. Said you’re not getting any younger, like I don’t know that. I see myself in the mirror every day!”

“You ain’t old" retorted Betty. “You are young, and look young! Have kids and you’ll be old".

You both laughed, not taking the jest seriously. You continued to moan and groan about Sally and Ann, along with how you were keeping clear of them. You were different, better than who they are. You’re a person who is kind and caring, not a harpy that is mean and manipulating.

You enjoyed sitting there, having a few beers and just bitching about life. This was what Betty and you had been doing since Benny left. At first, she did it to check on you, make sure you were alright. But as you got yourself together it became more of bonding time for you both. And now you’d consider the older woman a dear friend, maybe an older sister. You even spent time with her and her young girls.

Before Betty left, she had invited you out shopping tomorrow with the girls. Which you accepted. Retail therapy was just as good as a beer and a chin wag. With plans made, you sat and finished your beer, before heading in for the night. Yet once alone, you found yourself thinking of Benny. Question after question running through your mind. Along with this longing for him. But you knew he didn’t want you, or else he’d have shown up by now. Those two harpies, that you had called friends, and their blind date had to be the reason for him not coming around.

Or he really was done with me... you thought, feeling the weight of those words on your heart.

The following day, you met up with Betty – and her girls – outside a clothing store. Lori, the oldest girl, hugged you first, then her sister Mary, while you greeted Betty. The girls both took a hand of yours and dragged you into the store, while Betty trailed behind you three laughing. Seeing the happy faces of the two girls warmed your heart, it was nice to be wanted by someone, even if it’s from two young girls, who were just the sweetest.

You and Betty chatted while looking around at dresses. She was trying to find a decent dress to wear for a school function. I have to look like those damn prissy witches, of course watching her language around her girls, who still giggled. As did you. You showed her options, and she did the same. Eventually finding a few for her to try. While she did that, you were looking at clothes with Mary. Being funny picking clothes two sizes too small. Which made the girl laugh, and correct you. To that you acted surprised and told her to stop growing.

“How does this look?” Asked Betty stepping out onto the shop floor. “It’s the better of the two, believe me".

You smiled looking her over. The dress was nothing glamorous but suited the older woman nicely. The red colour suited her fiery nature. The shirtwaist dress really gave that house wife look, and that was what Betty wanted.

“It’s perfect, screams house wife” you said with a small laugh, which both young girls giggled at.

Betty roller her eyes. “Good, I’ll fit in then".

The older woman then went back into the change room to get back into her clothes. You continued to entertain the two young girls. But the sound and sight of motorbikes caught your attention, along with the two girls with you. Mary was saying dad over and over again, moving to the change room to tell her mother.

You felt this coldness wash over you, if Johnny and a bunch of Vandals were nearby, so was Benny. The look Betty gave you, as she was pulled from the dressing room by Mary, told you she was thinking along the same lines as you. Mary of course kept pestering her mother about seeing Johnny, her father.

“You alright with it?” Betty asked you softly as you both headed for the registers.

You sighed but gave a short nod. “Yeah...best way to get a band aid off is to rip it off, right?”

“That’s not the best way! It hurts too much!” Mary cut in. Making you and Betty laugh.

With the mood lightened just a smidge, Betty proceeded to pay for the dress. Once it was bagged up and in Lori's hands, the lot of you left the shop. Moving down the street, further down you could see the cluster of motorbikes, and their riders. With every step towards them you felt your stomach sinking. A touch of fear rising from the thought of seeing Benny. Would he look to you? Or speak to you? Or would he act like you didn’t exist?

Reaching the corner, which was adjacent from the Vandals group, Mary spotted Johnny and called out to him. He of course looked around before spotting his daughter, his face lighting up at the sight of his girls, Johnny even returned the young girls wave. It was a sweet moment, you thought.

But when you looked upon the group of men again, that was when you saw him; Benny. He was standing with Cal, cigarette between his fingers as he took a drag. They were in conversation, Cal fuelling the conversation with lit up face and hand movements. But Benny, he looked as good as always. Just adding to the ache in your chest. That listening but aloof look and air to him. It gave him that mysterious but sexy appeal.

Then those stormy blues of his were looking at you. Your step faltered for a second under his gaze. Even from this distance you could see the anger and hurt in his eyes, his face just showing it slightly by the subtle changes. Such as his jaw clenching, eyebrows drawing together. Finally you looked away from him, unable to take it anymore.

Reaching Johnny, Mary launched herself at her father. Who didn’t hesitate to pick her up and hold her close. Betty leaned up to kiss Johnny's cheek, and Lori moved to stand beside her parents. They were the kind of family you had hoped to have one day with Benny. The thought now seeming like a silly dream.

“Hey (Y/N)” greeted Johnny, an awkward smile on his face – possibly due to you and Benny being in close proximity. “How are ya doin’?”

“Hi Johnny" you smiled softly, a little uneasy. “I-I'm alright. How are you?”

The older Vandal softly chuckled, possibly nervous. “Yeah, can’t complain...got my girls here, which is good".

Johnny then jostled Mary, who was still in his arms and laughed from her father’s movements. Your smile turned warm from the sight. “That’s good...they are very lucky...”

Johnny beamed at your words but didn’t say a word. He didn’t need too. The pride and joy on his face said everything. Even with the club, the man tried to maintain a balance of both worlds. He loved Betty and his girls dearly. The way he cared for both his family and bike, and club. It was something you wished Benny understood. But it never took root in him.

Eventually the girls took to running around the park, that the Vandals were parked at. Lori forced to chase her sister, as you continued to talk to Betty and Johnny. Different Vandals joined you all at different times, before moving on to another group. Before you knew it Cal and Benny stepped up to you all.

You tensed when Benny stood across from you. But he didn’t look to you, if he could help it. He was treating you like you weren’t there. And that saddened you, but also angered you more. He just listened as Cal or Johnny spoke. Maybe saying a word or two. His voice – a sound you hadn’t heard for so long – cutting deeply, missing how he would speak to you. All you got now was nothing.

“Where have ya been (Y/N)?” Cal asked, casually sparking up a joint.

You tensed, swallowing before answering. “J-just working...nothing special...”

Cal nodded as he took a drag of his joint. “But ya haven’t even been too Grand and Division for about three months...”

You shrugged trying to not cast a look to Benny. As he’d been the reason you hadn’t gone back to the bar, he’d left town after all. “I didn’t feel like going to the bar...”

Benny scoffed, but didn’t say a word.

Betty shot him a look, before she looked to you in sympathy. “Things change Cal" was her sharp words, telling him to drop it.

Said man held up his hands, starting to catch on that this was not a road to go down currently. “A-alright...” Cal sputtered, choosing to leave it at that.

You felt lighter, knowing it was being dropped. Unfortunately Benny wasn’t done. His gaze drew in on you. Hearing you speak so airy got under his skin. How you didn’t disclose that you had been busy with another man, or men, and going on dates. That had to be what filled up your time, right? It’s what Benny had concluded on. The last month or more, you were out and about, trying to replace him.

Dropping his cigarette to the ground, Benny stomped it out. The aggression and sound caught everyone’s attention. And when looking to him, yourself included, his dark gaze was set on you. A chill ran down your spine, telling you this was not good. He had been so calm, but here was the storm. And you were in its path.

“Why don’t ya tell the truth" Benny’s voice boomed, the gravelly tone deeper and off putting. “Ya didn’t go to the bar because ya were getting around town with different guys".

The tone and the accusation he made left you dumbstruck. Benny had seen you with one man. Where did he get the idea, it was more than that one? Betty was sputtering, coming to your defence but you couldn’t make out what she was saying. The sounds around you turned fuzzy, almost like static, as you stood there in shock. You hadn’t been running around town with Tom, Dick or Harry. You’d been heartbroken and trying to get yourself back together.

Slowly the anger in you rose, with it the fire clearing the fog in your brain, bringing you back to the present. Grasping what Benny was saying, accusing you of not caring, you found that backbone. It was like that night all over again. His lack of seeing or understanding, jumping the gun. You stood tall, shoulders lowering as you drew your gaze in on him. And when Betty quieted down, you knew she could see what was to come.

“For your information, which I really don’t have to give you, the other night was the first date I’d had in forever" you stated eerily calm, but with a touch of sass. “I was blindsided into it. So maybe, in future, get your facts straight Benny”.

There was more you could say, wanted to say, but the way he looked at you like you were lying kept you from airing it all out. He wasn’t listening to you, like usual. He had made his mind up for good. So it wasn’t worth your time or energy to make him see or believe you. This was the Benny you knew all too well. If you continued to fight it would be a loosing battle, as he had made his mind up.

Taking a step back you turned from him, casting a look to Betty and Johnny, who looked like deer in headlights. But there was sadness there in their eyes. Betty knew the truth, she knew what you’d been through. She was there for you, seeing how hard you took his absence. Johnny might have known, for Betty could have kept him in the loop, but he also checked on you. But you never went into depth of it all like you did with his wife.

“Betty, I'm going home. I’ll talk to you later, tell the girls my goodbyes and I’ll see them soon" and with that you turned around and headed the way you came.

You held your head high, striding away like you were on a mission, which was one to keep it together. No crumbling in front of Benny, or Betty or Johnny, no one would see you fold. As you walked away you could hear Betty fire up at Benny. If you couldn’t do it, she was. You know she would give him a good dose of reality. Yet didn’t care. There was no coming back from this now. Right?

A/N: yes, I lied. Sorry, not sorry 😅 but the next part will be the last, I promise. And it will be steamy/smutty. Who doesn't enjoy a heated argument leading to make up sex?

Till the next, final part...

[lexicorp]

Y'know, one thing that bothers me about the backstory information we get for the end of the war and Megatron in Earthspark; is /how/ he actually def acts from the cons.

Like, all we really see is how he was fighting them for the allspark in the battle scene, sneaking into Shockwaves lab to steal it, and how the cons behave towards him. Some cons outright call him a traitor, while others still were like "I'd never fight /you/ Megatron!" And it just makes comprehending what exactly went down between them so tricky.

It stands to reason that Megatron had gone behind their backs with his decision to side with Optimus. But why? Why didnt he just stand in front of his army, and /tell them/, "we're doing this now"? He was the leader, why couldn't he do that? Why /wouldn't/ he?

So then the thought trails to perhaps he'd decided that he wanted to quietly remove the allspark, lie and say the bots stole it when it vanished, and let it fade into the shadows in a safe place only Optimus was to know about. That seems like a decently plausible plan. So then in the scene with Shockwave on that theory, Megatron wasn't actually outwardly against them yet, but Shockwave knew. Shockwave already has a bit of his own history in lore of wanting to expand his power over the Cons in his own right, so I don't think it unreasonable for him to have kept a keen eye on Megatron's behavior. Hell, Shockwave had been planning a protoform army that Megs didn't seem to approve of. So maybe that timeline could have been how things went, with Megatron running off with the Allspark after locking the scientist away.

But then it still doesn't make sense. Cuz if we're going off the idea of the first plan, why wouldn't he have simply covered up Shockwaves absence and done it the quiet way instead of it leading to some huge battle? Clearly no one knew where shockwave was since he hadn't been freed beforehand by another con-- or maybe they did since in a deleted scene ravage was supposed to have gathered a remote to release him. Maybe that's why they deleted that scene tho. Who fucking knows. It's jank as hell.

So then Megatron must have already been openly with the bots in that scene, and snuck in due to insider knowledge to the location of Shockwaves secret lab. Okay sure. So then, who took charge after Megs disconnected? Starscream? But Shockwave had literal underground plans of his own. And Star's line of "witness the fall of Megatron!" Is just so funny to me thinking about the timeline shit. Cuz I process that line as "witness the mighty warlord falling from his throne to become a pitiful traitor to everything he created!", but it could just feel like some typical slag of the "Megatron has fallen, now I'm the new leader!" But then if Starscream had already appointed himself as leader by that point, then that'd seem odd in context, especially as it's worded differently. Were the cons all just flailing around disorganized? Some listening to Starscream, some to Shockwave, some to Soundwave?

There are not enough details touched on for my liking. Vague context that leads to more questions than what answers it gives.

I think at least for my fic imma have it as a sorta mix where Megatron decided he was gonna dewit on his own and went behind their backs, he was caught fraternizing with the enemy, and when he tried to explain then his three main lads thought it was bullshit and were actually on the same page at least on the idea that they didn't wanna throw away their advantage and thought what Megatron was saying was dumb. And I bet Optimus and other bots were there during that confrontation so it just escalated into a full on battle where Megatron just left to stay with the bots. It could have also just been Star who initially found out that way and just relayed what happened to the others.

It still just seems so weird tho...so tbh i'd love to hear anyone else's thoughts on the matter.

Bro's fumbling-

[swordsonnet]

.

[lale-txt]

it's been over a week but i legit haven't stopped thinking about this

[tenwhiteandalusians]

and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.

[notquitehumanwrites]

Thought about the constant march of time and had to lay down for a bit

[vraska-theunseen]

aughhhh. aughhhhhjhhhh

[psalmsofpsychosis]

Some Batman: Telltale thoughts

[this is a Batman Telltale critical post, ye be warned.]

So. There are perhaps no words in the english language to describe with how stupid i feel right now.

I started Telltale Batman because i thought that it's one of the more distinct unconventional Batman narratives that would let you have a more interesting, complex and nuanced relationship between Bruce and Joker— the game even lets you bring all of Bruce's sincere hypocrisy and sentimental selfishness to the surface and have him admit that yes, he can fight the rogues gallery because it takes a madman to know a madman; to love a madman. For a moment i geniunely thought that i can escape the everpresent shadow of DC hays code in the freakshow funhouse that is Batman comics, i thought Telltale had done something different.

But telltale's approach to The Enemy Within is so flaky and flimsy and timid at best— such noncommittal twist on themes of pain and grief. They take on a hefty plotline, "what does it take to actually fight through evil and be surrounded by it? How long does it take before your resolve and your selfhood cracks? When you lose the mask, which one did you truly lose— The ideal persona, the superhero, the crusader, or the person underneath, the casket that holds all your humanity and your heart and your hopes? How long can you stare onto the abyss before it stares onto you?" It's indeed a very Nietzsche approach to Batman— except that a good Nietzsche narrative takes a lot of intentional plot points and honesty of thought and of heart. And Telltale doesn't commit, not to Bruce's characterization, and not to any other character, and definitely not to Joker's journey in any variation of it. The existence of the Vigilante route is useless on every front; Joker is going to turn into a villain anyway, just with a different hello kitty eyeshadow palette and an extra bland consolation lollipop. No good choice Bruce makes on Joker's behalf affects anything whatsoever, and i particularly love the "community and friendship and sympathy do not help the mentally ill and all that ever works is punishment and shock therapy and confinement and loneliness" message the vigillante route puts on the table, charming charming status quo commandments from DC as always.

Telltale Batman could only be revolutionary if it had dared to break comic convention and let the vigillante route play out like Selina and Bruce's relationship always does; very grey morality, irrational, full of tension and trust, unstable, intriguing, inexcusable, irreversible, unavoidable and heartfelt, human. But we can't have nice things in batmanverse, so both Joker routes run on stuck gears and topple and fall into a predictable narrative hole that neither Bruce nor Joker can claim out of.

And on the predictable front? this story is too lukewarm to be a good time for me personally. When you get 84 Batman comics per minute every other Tuesday, all ending the same way no matter whatever the fickity happens inbetween, you have to pull no punches. This is my 53368532th Batman-with-tragic-batjokes-implications read of the week, say something new or forever hold your blue-balling silence, i dont care.

[aberooski]

I'm seriously hanging on by a thread right now I might just go drop dead 😭

[whumptober]

WHUMPTOBER 2024: PROMPTS LIST

Welcome to Whumptober 2024 — Seventh Time's a Charm!

Please make sure to read the Event Info and FAQ below carefully, as most of your questions will be answered there already. For everything else, you are welcome to come to our ask box or ask questions in our Discord server here.

This year’s AO3 Collection can be found here.

This year's playlist can be found here.

The 'Anatomy of a Whumptober Prompt' post can be found here.

And our 'Resources for Writing Sensitive Topics' post is here.

We’re very excited to see the community come together for another year of Whumptober! Go wild with the prompts, and support your fellow creators - we wish you all the fun!

Best of luck and happy whumping,

Mods Vanne, Yenn, Kitty and Surro

(Text versions of the prompts, as well as event information, rules and FAQ are posted below the cut!)

Whumptober 2024 Prompt List

No. 1: RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK

Search Party | Panic Attack | "If only we could hold on.” (Icysami x Renegaderr, Strangers.)

No. 2: TRUST ISSUES

Amusement Park | Role Reversal | “You got away with the crime while the knife's in my back.” (Charlotte Sands, Rollercoaster)

No. 3: SET UP FOR FAILURE

Fingerprints | Wrongfully Arrested | "I warned you."

No. 4: HALLUCINATIONS

Hypnosis | Sensory Deprivation | “You're still alive in my head.” (Billy Lockett, More)

No. 5: SUNBURN

Healing Salve | Heatstroke | "If my pain will stretch that far." (Lottery Winners, Burning House)

No. 6: NOT REALISING THEY'RE INJURED

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms | Healed Wrong | "It's not my blood."

No. 7: ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES

Unconventional Weapon | Magic with a Cost | "It's us or them."

No. 8: SLEEP DEPRIVATION

Isolation Chamber | Forced to Stay Awake | "Leave the lights on." (Coldplay, Midnight)

No. 9: OBSESSION

Broken Window | Bruises | “Frame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble.” (Fall Out Boy, Irresistible)

No. 10: BLOW TO THE HEAD

Slurred Words | Passing Out from Pain | "I can't think straight."

No. 11: SEEING DOUBLE

Convenience Store | Loneliness | “Leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist.” (Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs)

No. 12: STARVATION

Underground Caverns | Cannibalism | "Just a little more."

No. 13: TEAM AS A FAMILY

Familial Curse | Multiple Whumpees | "Death will do us part." (Set It Off, Partner's In Crime)

No. 14: LEFT FOR DEAD

Hunting Gear | Blackmail | “Because I want you to know what it feels like to be haunted” (tiLLie, kooL aiD mAn)

No. 15: CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

Painful Hug | Moment of Clarity | "I did good, right?"

No. 16: NECROSIS

Swamp | Wound Cleaning | "No, I can't feel anything."

No. 17: NOWHERE ELSE TO GO

Ruined Map | Shipwrecked | "We had a good run."

No. 18: REVENGE

Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | “I see what's mine and take it.” (Panic! at the Disco, Emperor's New Clothes)

No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL

Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | "Is there anybody alive out there?" (Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere)

No. 20: EMOTIONAL ANGST

Shoulder to Cry On | Giving Permission to Die | "It's not your fault."

No. 21: BODY HORROR

Body Horror | Tattoo Gun | Spirit Possession | “Let the bedsheet soak up the tears.” (Apparat feat. Soap & Skin, Goodbye)

No. 22: BLEEDING THROUGH BANDAGES

Tourniquet | Reopening Wounds | "Oh that's not good."

No. 23: FORCED CHOICE

Public Display | Broken Pedestal | "I'm doing this for you."

No. 24: RADIATION POISONING

Collapsed Building | Equipment Failure | “I never knew daylight could be so violent.” (Florence + The Machine, No Light, No Light)

No. 25: SURGERY

Stitches | Being Monitored | "It's for your own good."

No. 26: NIGHTMARES

Breakfast Table | Parting Words of Regret | “I'm haunted by the lies that I have loved, the actions I have hated.” (Poe, Haunted)

No. 27: VOICELESS

Laboratory | Muzzled | “I have no mouth and I must scream.”

No. 28: DENIAL

CCTV | Exposure | "They caught me red handed."

No. 29: FATIGUE

Labyrinth | Burnout | "Who said you could rest?"

No. 30: RECOVERY

Hospital Bed | Holding Back Tears | "What have I done?"

No. 31: ASKING FOR HELP

Therapy | Making Amends | "I'm alive, I'm just not well." (Elliot Lee, Alive, Not Well.)

Alternatives List:

Body Swap

Communication Barrier

Finding Old Messages

Forgotten

Friendly Fire

Motion Sickness

No-Holds-Barred Beatdown

Regret

Secrets Revealed

Shivering

Survivor's Guilt

Time Loop

Used As Bait

Venom

Vermin

Event Info & Rules

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don’t have to include the exact wording of prompts into your work). Feel free to run rampant on interpretation. For example, if the prompt is “flame", you could create something with reference to a candle/campfire, your character could have suffered a burn, or the flame could be a reference to an ‘old flame’ - an old relationship. It’s truly down to you!

In total, there are 4 prompts for each day. These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives.  We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks. There is also a list of 15 alternative prompts that can be subbed in for any day, again to give participants as much creative freedom as possible.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, photo/video/audio edits, paper crafts and elaborate recommendation lists (not just a list of links). Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag it with:

#whumptober2024 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(theme number)

#bruises, #stabbing, …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#altprompt …..(if you use an altprompt, tag the post with the number of the prompt you replace)

#fandom or #OC, …..(ironman, original content, oc, etc.)

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add “tw” in front but only use the word/trigger itself)

#nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)

#your own tags go here

PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober-archive blog. They must be tagged in the order above. An elaborate post about our tagging system can be found [here]

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month. A form will be published at the beginning of November asking you to tell us if you completed. This is based on trust and we will not check this.

Frequently Asked Questions

Please read this before you send an ask!

TIMELINE

July: Trope voting form released. Late August: Prompt list is released for at least four weeks of preparation time. Tropes cannot be posted earlier than August 25th because of Moderator obligations in real life. (But, you know, go ahead and start writing/drawing, and add the themes in later, if you want!) September: Do as much or as little on your works as you want. You can prepare everything in advance or let September go by with vibes and start working in October. It’s up to you. October 1st: Challenge begins! A storm of whump breaks upon us all! During this time, some posts will be reblogged to the whumptober archive blog. We open the yearly AO3 collection for posting (optional). November 1st: The challenge is officially over! Completionist form opens for those who want to be included in the hall-of-fame. Early November: We release completionist and participant badges, solicit feedback, and post a hall-of-fame list of completionists by the 10th.

PARTICIPATION AND COMPLETION

Q: What counts as participation? Create or continue at least one work inspired by one of this year’s prompts. Q: What counts as completion? Creating work(s) inspired by at least one prompt from each day (or alts), for a total of 31 unique prompts. Q: Do I need to create 31 works? No. You can, if you want. Or you can create one work that you add to every day with a new prompt. Or several works that combine prompts. You can also update an existing work by adding new material with the current prompts. Q: Do I need to post my works somewhere to be a completionist or a participant? No. Q: How do you know I actually completed the challenge? We’ll take your word for it! Q: Do I have to finish my work(s) to be a completionist? No, you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish them in October, but if you want it to count towards being a completionist, you must have completed 31 prompts by the end of the month. So for example, if you’re writing a long fic and you fit 31 different prompts into the writing you did in October, it’s okay if that fic isn’t finished by the time October ends, you’ll still be a completionist. Q: Is co-writing/illustrating allowed? Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you. Q: Is there a min/max limit on word count for written works? No. Q: Is there a min/max limit of quality for art? No. Q: Do I have to do something each day to be a completionist? No. You can skip days whenever you want, and as long as 31 daily prompts (or alts) are in your works done in October, you can be a completionist. For example, if you wrote a 1000-word ficlet that covers prompts in days 2, 3, and 17, you can check all three days off your list even though it’s only one work. Q: Is this challenge just for fics? No! Artworks, GIFsets, headcannons, rec lists, poetry, moodboards, or any other creative work is encouraged. Q: Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges? Absolutely, as long as the other challenges allow it too.

PROMPTS

Q: How do the prompts work? There are FOUR prompts per day: a theme and three ideas. You can use one, two, three, or all four prompts for each day. If you don’t like any of the daily prompts, you can substitute one of the ALT prompts instead. Q: How strictly/literally should we interpret the prompts? As literally or as figuratively as you want. For example, if the theme is WATER, that could mean drowning, waterboarding, raining, swimming, take place underwater, be lost at sea, construct a metaphor about a character’s mood that changes like a flowing river, crying, or whatever else you can think of that fits that theme. Q: Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many? No limit and combine as many as you’d like. If you create a work that checks off multiple prompts, that work will count for a fill of multiple prompts. You need to address 31 different prompts to be an official completionist, but you don’t have to produce 31 separate works.

WORKS

Q: What’s whump? Hurting a character, whether that’s physically, emotionally, intellectually, psychologically, or any other way you can think of. Comfort afterwards is optional. Angst is emotional whump, so it counts. Q: How do I know if it’s whumpy enough? If your character is just mildly inconvenienced, it probably needs more whump. However, no participant has to prove whumpiness to the mods. Whatever you write is up to you. Q: What kind of characters can I create for? Anything. Generic “whumpee,” OC, PC, NPC, major characters, minor characters, or whatever you want. There are no limits. Q: Does it have to take place in a specific fandom? No, you can create works for your own worlds or for fandoms or for both. You can also create more generic or pan-fandom works. You can do cross-overs or use OCs, whatever you want. Q: Can I create AI-created works? We will not reblog or promote any works we know to be generative AI-created. Q: Is there anything we’re not allowed to write? As long as it contains whump and is based on our prompts, it’s fine. Please courtesy tag your works if you post them so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences. Q: What about sex, minor characters, and potentially disturbing content? You can create whatever works are legal in your country and post them accordingly. Please courtesy tag anything you think might be objectionable if you post to Tumblr so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences.

POSTING

Q: Where can I post my work? Post where and how you want. You don’t even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive. There is an AO3 archive for Whumptober 2024, as well as the parent collection for works completed outside of the event. Q: Can I start posting early? You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? We won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st. Q: Can I post late? Yes. For the sake of our hardworking Post Fairies, only a day’s themes will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive each day of October. But you can post whenever. Some of us are still working on and posting Whumptober fics from years ago. Q: Do I have to use your tags? Only on Tumblr and only if you want us to reblog your work on @whumptober-archive. Q: How do I have my works reblogged to the archive? Properly tagged posts will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive. If you want the official archive blog to reblog you, post on Tumblr and tag correctly (see this FAQ link for more info on tagging). Please note not all posts will be reblogged each day. Q: Can we @ you? For questions and comments, of course. We’ll be getting a flood of notifications, so if you really want us to see something send an ask. Q: Can I cross post on other blogs? Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable, as long as they allow cross-posting (to us). You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once. If you post some works under your main and others under an alt blog, that’s fine for completionist purposes. Q: Can I upload/repost my Whumptober content to other social media platforms? Of course! We’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there, which can be found here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the personal boundaries of any whumpers in your social circle (don’t out anyone as a participant who would prefer not to be outed).

Most importantly, have fun, create, and enjoy all the whump posted this October!

[acid-ixx]

ch.4: again &. again (platonic! yandere batfam x neglected! gn reader)

directory: preq, chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, chapter four, chapter five pt 1

read until the end for an author's note.

tw: self-esteem issues, alcohol abuse, allusions to self-harm.

"baby bird, i know i haven't been talking to you much as of lately. but i just want to let you know that we miss you alright?"

not delivered.

"i really regret ignoring you, we all do. i'm-"

he hesitates, then deletes the last word of his message.

"—we're the ones in the wrong for everything, alright? you blocked me, i'm sure you did for everyone else too, i get that, but we care for you now and that won't change anytime soon. please remember that."

not delivered.

"and it pains me seeing that you're not replying to my messages at all, baby bird. but i promise i'll-"

dick bites his lips at the mistake of addressing himself only rather than that of the family, but a greedy part of him wants you to read the messages and to see only him in spite of everything rather than them, feeling a sense of... need to be the first and only one you see when you think about accepting their apologies, even if he's writing to you whilst simultaneously trying to get his family in your good graces.

dick doesn't know it. why he's suddenly obsessed with you. you? yes you, his stupidly precious sibling, the one who looked up to him, frail and wronged by the world, with so much drive behind that stare. third child of bruce, yet second youngest in the family. the one that got away, the one he has never once saw outside that one memory of glinting, awe-inspired eyes that told more stories than poets, drew more emotions than artists.

nobody saw you outside of your status as the manor's ghost— but compared to your other siblings, he knew you the most. he wants to be the only man good enough to be considered your brother, your oldest brother; an obligation he's willing to uptake just for you. he wants to be the only one with the authority to call you his baby bird. he doesn't know why, despite the thirteen and a half years, it's him wanting, no, needing to see you again.

you, just you.

every bits and pieces of you.

in his mind, it's just him and you. in your tiny little bedroom, with your dozens of sketchbooks and diaries, with only your brother, dick, to accompany you. in your own little world, as you speak to him of your dreams and passions with nothing else in your mind. you'd look up at him with sparkling eyes, look at him like he means everything in the world to you, and he'd see you as his world.

when he thinks of that, the more he hopes of the possibility of you reading his messages; his declaration of never leaving you alone anymore. and with hope comes along this dread that you'd reply with a nasty reply, or that... you'll never bat an eye him anymore.

dick doesn't take a second glance to correct his mistake again this time.

"i promise i'll be better for you baby bird. my little hatchling, my little one. i discarded you, someone so precious. you must've felt hurt, no? i get that, i'm so sorry you have to go through that because of me. but look! you have me now, we have each other now! and that might not be enough yet to mend the bridge i left to fall, but if you just, please reply to me, or anyone else, then we can fix this. i promise, baby bird."

not delivered.

"you won't ever feel hurt anymore, or sad or lonely. hell, even bruce is getting you a new bedroom fixed up, isn't that great!? i'll even convince the old man to make sure your room is close to my old one so you can visit me anytime. i'll even stay over at gotham for even longer, just for you! and i'll spend my time with you, with just the two of us, okay? nobody else can disturb us. i'm sure you'd like that too."

not delivered.

"and we can hang out anytime you want, no? sleepovers, movie nights, journalling— all the cool stuff you wanted to do with me in the past, we can do now! and it'll be fun with you, i can see it happening alrrady, i just know it. you can't convince me otherwise, baby bird."

not delivered.

"that's why i'm begging you to unblock me, little one, or to at least read all my previous messages, please? :( i'm still so sorry over how i treated you in the past. i've nothing to defend myself over how i acted towards you. i was so delusional, ignoring you when all you clearly wanted was to spend time with me, with the family."

not delivered.

"we can even have that dinner together, remember?! at that fancy restaurant you talked about, yeah? my treat, of course. you can order the entire damn menu and i'll leave you room for seconds and desserts. i can even make arrangements to get bruce to rent out the entire restaurant so it would just be the two of us plus the family, but mostly just us— that would be good! then you can sleep at my room after we get home to the manor since we're turning your old one into an atelier just for you! i'll even carry your cute little figure up any flight of stairs whenever you get tired."

not delivered.

"i promise i'll really make it up to you baby bird!!! <3"

not delivered.

"for all the times we neglected you, left you thinking you didn't deserve a spot in the manor (which you truly do, it's us to blame for never seeing it that way), made you feel negative emotions towards us— i'll take your pain and turn that into joy, i promise."

not delivered.

"and if you do manage to read through all this, please remember..."

not delivered.

"i love you so much, alright? we'll find you soon, and you'll be happier with us, i'm sure of it. i love, love, love you so much my baby bird."

not delivered.

he sighs, resigning his thoughts all to himself as he checks his phone every minute for a simple ring of notifications just from you. he prefers to leave his phone in silent mode from the multitude of other contacts bothering him, but god forbade if that means he'd scroll past to a single reply of yours, then he'd rather burn in hell.

and anything is better than the pain inflicted on him when it comes to the thought of you ignoring him.

because after all, he does mean it when he says he loves you, his baby bird, his adorable little sibling.

he'd rather hell than you seeing him any less of an older brother.

what takes longer? is it a seed growing into a bud, a bud into a bloom, or a flower to fully shrivel and die?

how long does it take for it to be considered worthy? deserving of attention and the rightful spotlight to attain its needs for life?

what takes its time? what other variable does it need for it to survive in such harsh conditions? if it's forcefully pried open as a seedling, as a bud growing in a field full of weeds sapping, draining it of its nutrition, or in a scorching, desolate desert, or pestilent lands; would it still be considered a flower?

what does a seed need to grow into a flower? beautiful, treasured, with vibrant colors reflecting off the surface of each petal, growing pollen for every pollinator to spread its bountiful success you call development?

what does it require?

everyone knows the answer, some could only be ignorant enough to turn the other way and reject the idea altogether.

it needs care, nourishment — healthy soil building a strong foundation, its home with roots carefully embedded in the ground, then it also requires water, a source of life given to it in specific times with just the right dose, and sunlight kissing its stems and petals warmly — and finally, love.

lots of love, attention, and patience from mother nature herself and its caretakers we call humans.

but how could a flower receive any, if not, all it needs, if it's raised under a marshy, overgrowth rainforest that speaks of death and cruel poachers that could step on the bloom of any moment?

how could a flower live, let alone survive, if its careless caretakers who took it away from its fertile lands neglect it of its requirements to grow and bloom into its rightful imagery?

just how?

you are a flower.

and you will wilt soon the longer you live in what you once thought was your home.

growing in cracked, dry soil, with no water nor sunlight aiding your growth.

you are a flower.

who had been loved by your creator, mother nature herself; your mother. but you've never once felt the care nor love of your cruel humans you call family, your father had never once saw your budding petals, kissed it, patiently watered or spent time outside in the sunlight with you. your brothers don't notice your dehydrated pets, shriveled leaves and bent stems, nor do they tend to it. your sisters don't decorate the pot you reside it, they don't talk to you every time you sag down in loneliness and isolation as you are forced to stay in the same place and witness the same scenarios over and over again.

not much knows it, but flowers, much like any plant, can communicate, they can feel. and when they do, they do deeply.

and you are a flower. a flower worthy of being pressed into books, storing your beauty forever. a flower worthy of being situated into a stunning arrangements of bouquets, worshipped through birthdays, dates, weddings, and even funerals.

you're a flower, and you're beautiful and deserving of praise and honor from your stages in life as a seed, from a bud, to a blooming flower. yet you're neglected the same way ignorant trespassers would step on growing blooms, uncaring for sabotaging their life completely, and oh-so easily.

you're a flower, a symbol of nature's fertility, resilience, and tranquility.

you symbolize your mother's long standing determination to care for a child whose father looked other ways but her. who raised her seedling with care, watered them with stories of fairytales: fantasies about prince charmings who take their flowers away from barren lands to spoil them with rich soil and neverending sunlight, about princesses who stop by flower shops to awe at the arrangements of bouquets, eyes glazing with fervor as they recount each and every symbolism every unique flower shares.

your mother places you in your favorite, decorated pot: your shared bedroom with her, and she kisses your cheeks, your forehead, your chubby little fingers, the same way the illuminating sunlight kisses at your flushed body whenever you two would go out for your walks.

she was your mother nature, and you were her precious flower.

you were once a blooming bud then, and you wished you would still bloom now.

how could you grow into what you're worth, when even you couldn't grow without the love that was taken from you?

what about the care, the patience, the determination she once held in her warm gaze, now cold and fading with life the last time you saw her; would it all be a waste?

how could you grow now?

and yet you don't even need to ponder for solutions. the answers were clear, clear as the water your petals used to bathe in, clear as the rain that pitters against alfred's car windows the same day you were taken away from your mother's hold—

you simply wilt.

8:31PM.

your friend said she'd pick you up quarter to nine, so you'd at least have the time to prepare and make yourself look good. but right now...

god, right now, you don't feel anything good, not even a wee bit of it at all. ever since he texted you, you feel like shit, utterly repulsed. vile, like the image of you vomiting every contents of your stomach— and now you're going out drinking with an empty one. you can already feel the bitter taste of heavy alcohol mixing in with the acids of your stomach.

you can already feel the breakdown you're having right now as you remember how fucking broke and useless you are for having to ask your friends to treat you to drinking because you have nothing left to offer beyond the fucking taxes you have to pay and the nearly due rent and bills.

you have nothing to offer. you're so shitty. you deserve to die.

the more you stare at the mirror, the more your eyebags seem to deepen, your lips began to dry, and the pit in your chest sunken.

and that makes you exhale even deeper, ignoring the way your throat constricts on itself in instinct.

your eyes flitter to your fingers, nails bitten, skin ripped at the seems with dry blood staining chipped cuticles.

when you looked back at your reflection, you want to cry even more, seeing an image of a moving pile of flesh. all puffy skin and sagging eyes.

you don't remember the last time you felt pretty about yourself.

whether it was in the manor, or back when your mother was the only one raising you— it seems like your memories are in shambles right now.

you don't remember the last time you looked in a mirror, looking healthy, fresh, and proud of yourself for dressing up in your style. in the back of your mind, there will always be hatred, resentment for how you look. and right now, you hate how you every bit of your appearance because...

because you look exactly just like an image of your mother and bruce wayne. a reminder, your punishment for your parents' beautifully tragic affair with one another. a billionaire who courted the lowly dirt-class slut of gotham.

yet you're uglier because you're not them, you couldn't be them. you're not picture-perfect brucie with slick-black hair and a face like fine-aged wine, or the image of your sultry, "man-eater" mother in her lingerie. you're just, you— you've inherited all the stupid flaws you wished you could shave off your damn body.

you remember seeing your father's face in television with your mother beside you by the couch, combing your hair and giggling when your eyes had lit up at the sight of the rich man. you haven't once took your eyes off the news channel whenever he appeared, looking at bruce, always enamored with his aesthetics, only to never notice your mother's tired eyes, or how shaky her fingers would sometimes become.

"momma, that's daddy, right?!" you asked her whilst the side of your body was pressed against hers, with all the enthusiasm a child could muster. your grin was wide, eyes peeled to the screen, enough to ignore the flinch in your mother as you had once thought it was her igniting with the same excitement as yours.

she simply leans down and kisses your cheeks, her eyes, a beautiful shade of your eyes color, albeit lighter in hue, never once left the crown of your small head, ignoring the headline for the news about 'brucie's new fling caught on camera!'.

your mother was so glad you were still illiterate at your age. she wish she could never break off the illusion that it was her who simply birthed to you, with no face for a father. maybe you would've never ask her about why he had never once came to visit your small family, why you could never meet your other siblings, or why he's seen with multiple other women by his side every time you open the television.

you ask at frequent intervals; it makes her wish to strip away the past in which she chose to tell you who your father was. you would've experienced less heartbreak, she would've never seen the way your eyes would dim at her every excuse, or the way she felt your heart crack at the seams, only further breaking hers.

yet after a while, she replies and buries her thoughts, ignoring the tears that lid her eyes. with not so much enthusiasm in her light voice, with the undertones of guilt and sorrow digging deep throat her throat, but it was enough for young, little you to jump on your springy couch with her response.

"... oh, yes, that's your papa...! isn't he so nice looking—?"

"and handsome! i'm so lucky to have such beautiful parents! i wish i was as pretty as you, momma, and daddy too!"

when you had looked up with haste, glinting eyes staring up at her with a wide grin, some baby teeth still present, others absent from your gums, yet you displayed admiration no less; your mother just as quickly wipes her red eyes and sniffling nose with the worn sleeves of her sweater and reciprocates your beaming energy with a small smile.

she wishes you'd dismiss her previous melancholic expression, replacing it with the same fond, yet tired gaze she always offers you, wishing you'd be as oblivious to the pain it brings her to see your hopes and dreams of meeting a father you could only admire through a screen or article. yet you're always so perceptive, so interlinked with her reactions that she's sure that one of the few positive traits your father had given you. she should've expected your words, yet her broken heart finds a path to heal whenever you sense her pain and soft a bandage to the cracks of her bleeding scars with your kindness.

you would always be her little flower. the one she'd nurture in a garden filled with rosy bushes and scarring thorns.

"—you're so beautiful, momma, even if you cry because daddy isn't here with us, or you're too tired taking care of me. you're beautiful because you're my mother, and i'll take you over everything in the world..."

and you tell her, an inaudible whisper to your voice, with eyes that were once wide, beaming with joy, now gazing at her with softness like the wind kissing blades of grass in a gentle dance. you look at her, and she stares back, eyeing your chubby cheeks and lips the same shape of hers, the ends of your lashes curves the same way as hers, and your voice matches her like a lullaby when you speak every vowel in a soothing lilt.

you calm the hurt in her chest, replacing it with a mellow warmth. she even forgot the tears that slowly dripped her eyes, all replaced with the comfortable softness of her precious child's palms, smooth and cozy, resting on both of her cheeks as you pepper her crying face with kisses.

she holds both your palms caging her, and allows the your hold to linger for longer. the silence ensues, yet you both embrace the unsaid assurances.

it's times like these where she realizes you encapsulate the beauty of both worlds.

it's moments like this, she sees herself in you, and maybe she could lead herself to believe that she is beautiful, because she sees her beauty through her child, her grace.

the memory only further deepens the guilt in your heart.

if there's one word to describe you now. it would be disgrace. to your father's honor, and your mother's legacy. for easily letting yourself go, for being so weak, for being the line that jumps between two polar opposites of one another; trying to traverse their path of belonging.

you're a disgrace, a mistake, and you deserve to be treated as such.

it was why you never find yourself beautiful. a person such as yourself would always find allure, worth in all things chaotic - you live in gotham after all - but never find that same value in yourself as you look at your reflection that distorts your image even more, making you uglier and uglier the longer you look.

split ends everywhere, hand tangled, reddish eyes from nearly crying again.

even if you beat at yourself, erratic and impulsive, even if your skin is colored an ashen blue and purple, rotten shades of yellow and red, you think of yourself ugly and repulsive.

no matter how much color you try to bring into your bleak, repulsive life, at the cost of hurting yourself to become pretty— every part of you will always be that ugly, little duckling in comparison of your siblings who always outshone you.

dick with his playboy body, jason and his towering one, tim with soft boyish features, damian's silky tan and smooth skin, and duke's baby face.

you couldn't even have your hair frame you as perfectly as steph's light blonde hair does, or share barbara's proportionate face, or look as gracious yet deadly like cassandra.

you're nowhere near as special, you're not like them. you have features too unique, yet out of place, and you couldn't bring yourself to be conventionally good-looking.

you hate yourself so much. you hate every little mole, every little pimple, every damn imperfection that litter your body, making you even lesser than what you already are.

your family; mother, father, brothers and sisters, god, even your fucking friends! every time you sit by them side-by-side, you'd feel insecure, imperfect, an eyesore and you just want to strip away every part of your limbs one by one if that meant replacing it with even better ones; all for the sake of at least feeling pretty.

you remember the first time you tried to find a sense of style, and damian's comment and– god fucking damn it—!

your hands found its way to your brushed hair, tangling itself through already fragile strands to rip at the seams. you don't care, you don't fucking care, you pray to any god out there to get them out of your head, pleas unheard, you're always left to hurt.

"what are you trying to achieve with that, huh? what even are you trying to think with that horrendous color combination? what are you, a clown? even that damned joker has more coordination than you think you could achieve."

in front of his friend, jon kent, with a scowl on his ever-so angry face and his hand already making a way to grip his sword; an absolute threat to dice you up shall you ever bother being in the same room as him.

he said that to you... you're older, you could've been stronger, could've at least found a semblance of fight in your bones. but no! god, no. your life was ruled with fear with damian wayne being the demon haunting you in the manor, always making living harder, making breathing a heavy task.

how could you ever fight back? not when you've conditioned yourself to tear up at the slightest bit of noise, feel goosebumps prick your skin when you hear someone raise their voice at you, and your heart rate hasten at the slide of a knife against any surface?

you! you who's so fucking weak to even make a comeback. you, who ran away with wide, traumatized eyes. because you're scared, so fucking fearful of an even bigger cut to your skin marked by damian— even if you're accustomed to cutting yourself with even deeper gashes.

because it's him that you fear, not the pain, not anymore. just him and his contempt at you for ruining his pure bloodline just by you being his half-sibling.

you don't want a repeat of your first meeting, or any meeting with him at all. not when you'd drown even deeper in a pit of fear every time you stare at his glaring, emerald eyes. one that tells you he chose to merely not kill you out of the goodness of his heart. but he will, god he will if he feels you've been too comfortable in his presence.

every damn time, everytime you feel fear, you see green. you hate green, any literal meaning of it, every implication of itx even seeing it, and fuck! your outfit has green embellishments.

you feel even uglier, yet the twinge of fear immediately overpowers any concern your had with your appearance. it's as if eyes were suddenly on you, and it's not only yours staring at you in the mirror.

your lips wobble, snot began blocking through the passage of your nose.

fuck, fuck, fuck.

why?! why can't you just forget about them all. why, why, why?!

you bite your lips harshly to conceal the pained whimpers from the back of your throat, but it doesn't work. it only makes the fear worse.

tears rim at your eyes, you merely wipe them away. your heart attempts to beat out of its gilded cage, yet you swallow your quivering chokes and proceed to continue staring at yourself in the mirror, dressed in a rush, with nothing to conceal your ghastly eyebags and sunken skin.

and green. you'll see it everywhere now. fuck, would dick send out damian to kill you now? you don't know, you're scared but you can't chicken out, not when your friend is already near to your apartment. god you wish you had beer in your cabinets instead, but you're broke and unprepared for life and your hair's all in a tangle and you just fucking want to die.

your hands grip at the edge of your sink, you look at your mirror and see the blood on your already bitten lips.

not even concealer can cover the damn scars all over your face all through the neck.

calm down.

you stare even deeper at yourself and ignore the green, trying to think of something else—

something less emotionally scarring, like your appearance. even if it brings you great pain, too, you'd rather that than your family. no more of them, fuck, no more. even if you stare at your eyes and see that familiar mix of colors of your mother and bruce's eyes. the shape of your face, even the curve of your brows all resembled your late mother— and you miss her, her captivating beauty that you never saw aged like fine way before she was taken away from you. you see bruce in the strands of your hair and the way it sometimes fray when too stressed. you see them in every image you wish to erase of yourself.

yet your genetics are nothing to them, not when you can't even care for your tangled hair or ashen skin.

even the dead looked more lively than you ever could.

with a pale complexion, with scars that litter all over your shoulders, wrists, and hidden parts of your body, one you're too ashamed to show anybody— it was no doubt that you looked pathetic and erased the beauty that both your parent's cultivated. and it makes you wonder; would it really be worth it?

would it be worth it if the people around you see you?

you with your melancholic eyes, trying to find an escape in a maze you call your mind? you can picture yourself drinking alcohol until you reach the domain of death, sitting in a stool, alone, as you nearly empty the contents of your stomach remembering the sole reason why you're there in the first place.

would it be worth it if all eyes suddenly were on you? they turn to you to gaze at the ugly bruises on your body, they mock your appearance, call you names, look at your sniveling, red nose and warm cheeks intoxicated from all the heavy liquor you'd down, and whisper. they'll whisper insults, slurs, and every known jab until it's all their words that pierces through your eyes, until the loud bass becomes mere background chatter for all the gossips that ensue.

are you actually going to do this right now?

you don't know, you don't know and you wish never cared as much.

all you could really focus on was your eminent goal of getting out of your stuffy apartment, to rid of the paranoia that somehow, you're being watched over in the confines of your four walls and that the familiar image of green will come attack you. the more you think, the more the hairs on your skin start to raise with every known intention to signal you of your anxiety.

eyes, they may be everywhere.

eyes, eyes, eyes. as you stare at your eyes, you try to ignore emerald eyes, they dilute even further. you gulp, yet your focus remains distorted. images flash at the mirror, and suddenly they're here, with you, with their eyes. bright blue for some, dark green for another, and they all gaze at you with contempt. one's hand claws at your throat, the other pins your wrist down on the edge of the sink. the eyes glare, and they never soften. yours merely shook, unblinking as your breathing becomes heavier; trapped in the cages of their wanton staring.

you yelp, then blink. when you did, they're gone. and you're back to looking at the same image of yourself. you grimace slowly.

ugly, with dry skin and falling hairs. the worst version of you, the normal version of yourself— there was never a best version for you.

as long as it's you, you'll never be enough.

all you wanted was to drink with your friends at a club; some working nightshifts at the location you're going to— yet you want to back down. want to take your phone by the corner of your vision and cancel your sudden plans.

but you're scared, you're so fucking scared of any new messages.

hell, even finding the contacts for your friends was a task in itself you wish to never repeat. with jittery fingers trying to type of messages and blurry eyes navigating through the screen of your slippery, glass screen protector.

you're scared, rightfully so.

you're scared to find his message once more suddenly popping up, your fingers accidentally pressing on it like the clumsy swine you are, and rereading that damn heart over and over again.

you slam your dominant hand against the tiled sink, hard and uncaring for the pain it induced all throughout your body. the tremors of the impact shook you to your core, yet you seethe in your breath and don't allow yourself respite to let the tears flow freely from your already red eyes. you feel your heart beating erratically through your chest, the shivers controlling your body, the shrieks that you contained within you— and you enchain them all with no respect for yourself.

you deserve this. you deserve to be hurt, to be punished for your actions, for your mistakes, for your sins.

even if your hand became swollen, splotched with varying shades of disgusting purples and yellows, you won't treat it with medicine. even if the sharp edges of the sink broke the fragile layer of your already scarred palm, and bled profusely with that familiar shade of red; you won't rush to wrap it with gauze or even spare a droplet of betadine. even if by the next day you'd have to write out your overdue assignments with that specific hand, then you'll force yourself to learn through the other and punish yourself again if you fail once more.

you deserve this.

and as your phone pings, lighting up to show you a notification of one of your friend's messages about being ready to pick you up by the lobby of your apartment's ground floor, you ignore your injured hand and the bruises on your knees from falling so abruptly on tiled floors just moment's ago. you dismiss the ache of your head, the soreness of your eyes and the disgusting beat of your heart.

you ignore the pain that wrecks at your entire body, in favor of destroying it even more, just as you deserve.

you don't recall how many shots you had before you're nearly passed out by the bar, sitting on its stool with your head leaning on one both your arms crossed, drool close to slipping out of the corners of your mouth and heavy eyes lidded, about to fall into the depths of sleep.

you're sure you looked wasted, absolutely drop-dead drunk with no thoughts circulating in your head other than the pleasant buzz in your ears and the flash of colors in the disco balls blanketing the entire room with its neon lights. your face must've been an unearthly shade of red, and you can already feel just how blazen it is, and how your fingertips are ice-cold to the touch (probably colder than the marble you lay your arms upon). in other words, you're actually wasted.

and it's so worth it if it means it gets you to forget. and forget you did, because you can't even dig deep into your head to even remember a single memory of whatever grief you went through earlier in your apartment. not even the throb of your head from when you pulled your hair from its roots, all to the way you slammed your dominant hand on your bathroom sink, bruising it with unnatural shades of purples and yellow.

it makes you omit every type of pain, both physically, mentally, and emotionally. it doesn't cure you of your ails, but god forbid you if you just want to savor moments where nothing but a mind numbing headache is the only feeling present in your current state.

the remix of songs were long forgotten in your mind, they all become an amalgamation of miscellaneous sounds. your body is so inclined towards the flat, rectangular cool surface of the marble glass of the bar that you can guarantee you could sleep here, especially since black behan to cloud both your vision and your mind.

everything feels so hazy, and pleasant, and straight-out peaceful that the screaming tandems of equally drunk clubbers and the occasional sobers holding up their friends who sang along with whatever remix the dj comes up with, or the forming crowd as people began to rock and dance to the bass that shakes up the entire floor to the point you can feel vibrations run along your spine— didn't register within the crevices in your mind.

all you can focus on, is the gratifying pleasure ll alcohol induces in your body. gone is the feeling of fear that emanates off of every inch within your body. your bones don't feel as if it's locking up everytime you feel eyes on you, and your throat doesn't certainly feel constricted with the lack of flow of blood anymore.

god, this is why you've never once regret drinking right after the moment you turned eighteen— not when it's positive effects outweighs all the negative emotions that rule over your body.

you couldn't even notice a man with shades (seriously, who wears that to party? isn't the club dark enough?) sitting beside your drunken form in the corner of your eyes, raptured in the thin line between focusing on reality and drifting off to dream world. you don't even bat an eye to his muffled giggles and the way he twisted his stool just to admire the view: you.

you're oblivious to the entire commotion happening within the depths of his mind because you couldn't feel any aptitude to danger right now— thanks to the effects of the hard liquor overtaking whatever fear you've felt being watched long ago.

or maybe you just felt safe beside the stranger. or, you're merely drunk. you don't know.

fuck, you're so close to passing out.

you don't know where your friends are, where they came running off to but you know you won't be getting out her sooner or later and you definitely don't have a ride home. so your only way back without getting ambushed as a completely vulnerable citizen of gotham, is by a safer, more convenient means of a ride— but that certainly wouldn't be safe if your friends are as equally drunk, or even more so, as you. but does your hazy mind care? no. not when you flip your head to rest on the other side once the other side became hotter that you notice a conveniently attractive man staring right back at you with an entertained grin.

as if your existence alone makes him happy. as much as your mind keeps blanking out, that mere implication made your heart pang just a teensy bit. of pain, or pleasure, or mere joy, you don't know. but you do know that it triggered some unknown feelings and you don't want to feel.

you want to drink some more, feeling solemn all of a sudden just from staring at him. you're sure the obvious frown on your quivering lips and the heavy, hot sigh

and it doesn't help that his face seems similar. the longer you stare, the more his grin seems to sharpen. confidently? or shyly? you can't seem to gain a clear image of him; what when rainbow lights are blazing out through the holes of the disco ball and your eyes recently just opened to your near journey to traverse through sleep.

all you can make out to be is his jet-black hair, side bangs framing the left side of his face, a faint outline of an eyebrow piercing

you also took note of his spiky jacket— yet what draws you the most to him are his sunglasses that he chose to wear conspicuously in a damn club of all places.

he's attractive, to say the least, but he triggers a set of emotions deep into the cages of your imprisoned heart that sets itself free. he gives you a sense of nostalgia, of familiarity that you can't pinpoint but feel; like you've seen him before but don't know when. your eyebrows furrow in and your eyes squint at him, unknowing to the judgement you're subjecting him in. your lips wobble, though, because his presence just makes your heart feel something, akin to pain but not quite, and makes your head buzz that you just want to cry as a reaction.

he, the stranger, don't know it, but he makes you all sad, primal emotions overtaking any drunkenness you feel as deep tremors buzzed into the confines of your chest, until all you're doing is staring at him with pouting, downturned lips and sad, puppy eyes; rimming with salty tears.

you don't know why you feel sad all of the sudden, and you can faintly see through blurry, watery vision how his face shifted from entertained to worry, eyebrows raised and eyes wide open at your sudden mood shift.

maybe you or him could've spoken up, you more so, but you're just so emotionally drained and overwhelmed today that you began sobbing silently without breaking eye contact with the man.

despite you wanting to say anything: an introduction, a question opening up as to why he's staring at you, or even a mere phrase telling him to "back off"; the only words that came out from your parched throat, all from trying to reason in your head on what a proper sentence should be, were:

"you're hot," and if you were sober enough, you would've felt sheer embarrassment and shame from eyeing the boy, but you're not— and because you're not sober, or any bit sane, the next few sentences you spewed out were all coherent, yet wonkily pronounced utterances paired with teary eyes and sniffling nose, as you can't seem to control the feelings of melancholy in your heart and the sudden emotional burst from your ramblings.

"thank you, you too, actually— but are you alright-"

"you're so hot, god, please. i don't know..." you gave him no time to speak as you hiccupped, lips wobbling even more than you can imagine. and you're trying your damn best to rid of the urge to punch at your chest as a coping mechanism through the multitude of emotions eating you up and away. but you never realized you were trying for an absolute stranger, palms fisting into itself as he stares at you worriedly all of a sudden.

"like... you're familiarly attractive, i—" the next few sentences were incoherent as your words bubbled around you like detergent soap. your fingers found itself into your face as you try to wipe off both tears and nearly dripping snot as you continued rambling drunkly.

"you just! you're hot, for me, i don't know... i'm just, we all—eughh... i don't know, i'm so sad..." and you truly are, for no reason at all other than seeing the man. poor him, must've felt so ashamed that he's the reason you're crying but at the same time... nothing can really stop you from ceasing your tears.

at least, that's what you've convinced yourself to believe in. that you're truly incurable of the ailment of being constantly depressed with nobody to aid you with your troubles. not even your friends, nor past therapists that you've consulted.

you've nothing to comfort you, and that makes you even more solemn than ever.

the simplest of emotions felt, the deeper and complex you take it out to be. sadness, or moreover depression, the horseman of apocalypse that destroys any hope you've tried to kindle with your life.

it makes you all the more burst into a wave of even more tears.

"... okay, okay, wait here for me, alright?" he suddenly stood up, hurriedly, probably unsure, or disgusted by you. you're unsure about what he's saying, too caught up crying that you simply nod to whatever he said and continued on with your episode.

as you're left alone, you allow your tears to dry only cry once more. when he left you, you weren't aware but you just felt even more lonely. at pushing away the only company you had after your friends left you in the dust, you feel depressed and regretful and all emotions related to grief and you just want to drink some more but you don't know if you can take it anymore!

god, it all returns to pain. pain you thought you could bury deep once you took multiple swigs of alcohol.

pain that makes you want to bang your head against the marble of the bar—

and you're so close to doing so, but only stopped when your blurry vision sets itself on the man returning with a handkerchief and a cold glass of ice water. at his kind gesture, you simply teared up even more, pouting when he walked your way and looked at you with a sheeping grin.

when he sat right back up on the stool seated to your right, he hesitated with his hold on the handkerchief near your face. but the moment he gathered up his pride and pressed it against the unnatural blaze of your cheeks, you merely leaned closer to his palms, eyes closing as you can feel the tears cease itself finally at the blind comfort he's unknowingly providing you.

"there, there... be careful, 'kay stranger?"

he mutters, a light chuckle accompanying him. it's only now you can finally focus on the cool churn of his voice and the , with your eyes close and the haze of your thoughts washing away, leaving you breathless in your respite— not restrictive, nor lonely, but still short of breath.

this reminds you of the times alfred had to hold you in his arms everytime you threw a tantrum at the manor.

it made you realize that the months, a near year even, after leaving the manor, made you crave physical affection. making you feel like a husk of yourself when not given. you feed off of the scraps of physical lovez to the point that even this man who's wiping away the tears from your cheeks makes your heart beat faster, in a comfortable manner.

sensations. he once told you that if you feel too deeply within, then to ground yourself you must feel beyond interior ranges of emotions.

and that's the technique you've been willing away from your head for so long. because it always requires another person in the room to comfort you, to simply touch you softly, gently like you're porcelain the same way the stranger is pressing damp fabric against your tearstained cheeks and hollowed out eyes.

the pain you've felt was because you're merely touch starved. alone, in a space where everyone has someone, and a no one can't have anyone.

but now that you do have a someone, no matter how dangerous he could've been outside of your impression of him, you feel the pain lessen, the heavy burdens become featherlight at his kind gestures of wiping all the salty tears from your face, the runny snot from your nose with no rush whatsoever.

"feel better now, hon?"

"mhm..." a long, drawled out yawn emits from your mouth, yet you're too comfortable with him to even care, suddenly feeling a wave of drowsiness after your emotional episode.

after he finished wiping your face, and felt it considerably cool down from the damp fabric, he placed it on the bar, one hand on your face keeping you stable. yet his other hand promptly went back to your cheeks.

he chose to do this of his own volitions, even leaning closer as your head finds itself slowly dropping to his clavicle (careful to avoid the spikes from his peculiar designed jacket), looking up at him and staring at his gray eyes.

the man looks down at you as you now realize he's cupping your face. at the implication of your entire ordeal with him, you might've felt flustered sober, but you're just so drunk that any spacial awareness for the proximity between your bodies just disappeared and left you with the need to sleep within the confines of the safety this man left you with.

you don't know it, but yet again the man smiles down at your adorable antics, finding the way you're absolutely trusting of a stranger both stupid, yet endearing. because he's no more stranger, and heaven bless him because he's so glad he's the person who approached you rather than anyone else because you looked so cute, and his crush on you may have lead him to stalk you occasionally just to ensure you're safe— that doesn't erase the gesture that he did it purely because gotham is too dangerous for your own good. and he's glad he trusted his human side of intuition, rationalizing with himself that today just seems to be the day you'd bump into danger if he's not there.

you're so stunning up close... how come tim never once found interest in someone as admirable as you is a mystery. but you trusting a stranger in your vulnerable state is much more.

and he's grateful he's that stranger.

because he may be a stranger to you, but a familiar one. and you feel safe, a feeling you haven't felt in so long that you simply just melt against him like clear putty; because you're transparent with what you feel right now.

and right now you feel warmth. not the uncomfortable one that blazes through your (now) cool face when you were drunk, nor the burning one whenever you thought of your family— but a pleasant one. like sitting near a fireplace as you watch the embers crackle, drinking hot cocoa whilst a quilt covers your body from the cold of the winter. you feel this way at his kindness, at his efforts to help you contain your emotions to a reasonable degree.

"what's your name, kind stranger?" you mutter on his chest (how come your head is laying on it, actually?) hearing the soft thumps of his heart. it's warm, he's warm and every bit of comfortable, as he does his best to move slightly back to remove his jacket and drape it over your body before he could reply to you, chuckling whilst doing so because you looked up at him with your eyes conveying every damn emotion that made you feel soft.

"it's conner, conner kent. call me kon, though. or yours if it's you." he purrs. it took you a minute to register his obvious flirting but what comes after is an absolute flush on your body and you recoiling from his hold as you look back at him, mouth agape. the tips of your ears were warm, and every bit of

an overexaggeration to his flirting, sure. it makes you look less appealing in your eyes, extra sure! but it's been so long since someone last attempted to flirt with you; but most were under the guise of when you were still a wayne and... and not as yourself. you! you who sports so many imperfections that—

"haha! is it strange to say that you look so cute whenever you look at me with wide eyes in the short span of time we just met?"

he slides in through your train of thoughts before you could delve even deeper through self-deprecation. and you're glad that he did because... god, he makes you want to shamelessly gloat as a reply. you've never had someone complement your eyes before, actually...

"i'm..." you look back at him after you stared down at your palms, heat overtaking your entire body. yet again it wasn't uncomfortable, and just the right temperature. you stutter your name afterwards, making sure it's your mother's last name that you highlighted implicitly and not bruce's.

he seems to grin even wider when you introduce yourself. that's when his next reply generally warranted you to nearly burst off your seat out of sheer diffidence.

"well," he says your name, tasting every syllable in his pierced tongue. "your name tastes sweet, dove. but i think your face is even sweeter now that you're not crying — not saying that isn't cute too but you're so stunning now that i look closer at you without any barriers. your eyes, especially, they're like some mix doe and siren eyes, or whatever my other friends talk about in social media. point given, you're drop-dead gorgeous in my eyes."

it all comes naturally from him that your brain merely shortcircuited and fried itself comprehending his message, forgetting you were drunk in the first place replacing it with a flush in your heart, the pit of grief and despair replaced with the lighthearted need to banter or reply meekly at his shameless flirting right after he comforted you.

this is the first time you felt something for someone's romantic gestures, instead of that wave of nausea that accompanies you.

he makes you feel... pretty about yourself. in a good way, in a way you don't feel the need to hide your insecurities for once and instead allow his eyes to flitter around your entire face, analyzing your features because... because he simply makes you feel pretty the more he stares at you.

yet all you did was take his hand on your own, a sudden burst of confidence even you couldn't explain, and played with it, as you pouted in reply before thinking— using his hand-now-turned-fidget-toy — of a good enough response.

you simply said, coughing before continuing, "i don't take back what i said moment's ago. you're hot too, even if my vision was obstructed by my tears."

"oh, really?" he smiled gently and allowed your hands autonomy to play with his. it's like telepathy, he knows it's automatic that you crave physical affection and attention and he's willing to provide you that solace.

"now that you're not crying— you think i'm even more handsome?"

you snort at his question, then took a step back with your thoughts to properly study him. neat, yet messy hair, piercing on the eyebrows and on his tongue (hot), sunglasses and spiky jacket draped upon your shoulders— goddamnit, of course he's hot! and you made it efficiently clear that he is, with your hands fiddling pattern against his soft, yet calloused hands, by squeezing it.

"yes, you are even more handsome, kon..." brief and concise, just how you like it. even if he gave you an entire essay describing you in his eyes, for you, you prefer actions; and you did so by simply being affectionate with the stranger, now acquaintance you have a slight crush on.

you'd never expected this turn of events, but it was a pleasant one and one you'd never really want to trade with anything else now that you've met kon.

so when he opened his mouth to spew something else, your ears perked up to listen and your mind, albeit slowly sobering up, prepared itself to reply to whatever flirting, conversation topics, and anything random it is that he wishes to talk about to you.

you smiled at him whilst he talked, he reciprocates as always.

yet this time, you weren't afraid to hide just how joyous you feel, for once, having a person interested in you not only physically but with your interests, too, as your conversations kept shifting to things about you.

it made inclined to learn about yourself, too. and that makes you happy, and fuzzy in the insides the more he asks you questions beyond your favorites. like in movies, he didn't simply just ask your favorites and you replied with an answer and moved on, no! you both discussed the emotional depth it impacted you with, why symbolism matters so much, and why in the near future you'd both inevitably meet up, you'll both watch it together.

that makes you feel excited.

you even forgot the main reason why you're here in the first place; to drink. now, though, it seems like you just wanted to talk to kon all night long.

fortunately for you, that's how the rest of your night went. with a pleasant buzz in the background, the sounds of remixes all drowned out in your ears as you favor the chatters of the man beside you, with the tremor of his voice a comfortable volume and his tone laced with freshly made honey.

when your friends finally ran back to the bar where you all collectively agreed to meet up at once everyone's shenanigans were finished, they giggled drunkenly whilst some sober ones whistled at seeing your hand unknowingly massaging his palms like a stresstoy and the jacket draped upon your shoulders.

the moment you returned it to him, he joked about wearing it every second now since it reminds him of you, and how it's his favorite piece of attire now beyond all his other clothing. you merely blushed and ignored the cooing of your friends behind you.

you didn't feel concerned over not seeing him anymore, as he had given you a slip of paper with his number on it in through a tissue with paracetamol pills wrapped around it (like the thoughtful gentleman he made himself out to be when he excused himself a second time to get those items, since you'd left your phone with one of your friends; you swore you felt a blush creep into your cheeks and heating the tip of your ears), you instead felt a pang of longing and furrowed your brows, looking at him as if asking if you'll see him around anytime soon as he reciprocates with a sure grin that makes you feel a wave of feather like affection.

he left shortly after, striding to you as your group recollects all your stuff and whispering a, "text you later, dove. stay safe for me, alright? don't let any other strangers get to you."

you're glad this night would end on a good note, willing away any prior doubts towards spending the night in a completely foreign street and expecting fir criminals and thugs to break in but no! you can't help but admit that your new... interest, conner, made your night a thousand times better.

and his little nickname for you... haha, you're so flustered thinking about texting him tonight. you'd neglect your assignments for now if it meant messenging him right after you get home, safely, for his sake.

when your group all came outside though, that's when things shifted.

time is a construct. it's complicated and structured like that as well. it can either be too fast, or too slow. when your friends had taken their sweet time to spend the night dancing about the dancefloor, when you'd taken the precious time to flirt and talk to kon; that's when you all collectively realized that their damn cars were stolen.

the air suddenly shifted to this thick atmosphere when you all stepped out, one that can be sliced through with a sword, and you swore—

god, you swore this night couldn't have been any better with the turn of things, but now. right after you got out the club, it all took a turn for the worse.

this is it.

you're going to die today.

you're going to die, in some dirty ditch, your friends nowhere to be found, with nobody to save you.

nasty bruises already began to form on your skin, one with harsher colors of purple, blue, and yellow on your wrists and other patches of skin; way harsher

the man in front of you was gnarly, but you've no time to judge as he kicks you in the guts.

matted brown hair lay atop his head like a bird's attempt at a near, he has an odor that reeks of sewer rats, piss, and feces, and an unruly beard that houses bits of his leftover.

he holds a weapon whose shape you couldn't make out with your hazy vision, body nearly cramping in on itself once he kicked you again.

straight in the abdomen, with brute strenght accompanied by his worn leather boots decorated with glinting spikes that sparkle under the moonlight's glow.

in the abdomen, spikes.

blood first, then curdling pain next.

no noise rips through your ears, only wringing ever present, but your mouth opens, and you can feel its tender chords crack as a scream erupts from your throat, shrill and resounding from the deepest depths of the cockpit your mouth has to offer you; uncaring for the man in front of who who suddenly covers his ears and grits his teeth, who looks at you like you're mad, yet unlike same way his two other lackeys from behind look at your like you're the creation of carnage itself.

pain shot throughout your body, most especially at the core of the holes that pierced through your clothes and right inside your skin. and as your bulging, teary eyes try to look down with an agape, whimpering mouth, his shoes still connected to your body; you could only hold off so much of that familiar taste of acidic bile paired with that lingering scent of cheap booze.

tears were a byproduct of the misery, as it began to escape from your already puffy eyes. when the man released his legs fron pinning you down, your sobs only worsened as your unpinned, shivering arm try its damned best to cover the already leaking blood.

six holes, the diameter of the more than half of your finger, was what you could make out in your line of sight. the blood that leaked from them looked black, you couldn't find where the gradient of black and red connects, your only certainty in this situation was that you'd bleed to death before help could come to you.

the spikes were as long as a toothpick, a crimson puddle lay dripping on the floor.

your legs were shaking against your will, your eyes frantically search around you yet your pinned once more, his larger body framing against your own, providing no room nor qualms for an escape.

but the only escape you wanted was one from the pain of his pressing against your injury, even more blood spilling out of its confines. your tears only hastened its descent from your shaky eyes.

when your mouth opened for the nth time to wail out, he seethed in a breathe and threatened you, with his breath as vile as his entire being, that smells like every mix of synthetic chemicals from cigarette flavors, all expired, with teeth rotting and sporting yellow and black wallpaper.

gross, so gross. you want to die when the stench hits your nose. you shrivel in yourself, you couldn't breath.

"listen here, little bitch, you quiet down or i kill you. and 'ya either give me everythin' you own in your damn possession, or i'll kick you even more until a thousand little holes will fuckin' make you bleed to death, hear me?"

hearing his statement only made the adrenaline pump even more fight of flight into your heart. but you can't do either, you can't, not when you're still hazy from the fucking alcohol and the self defense tools in your tiny pouch were thrown a few feet away from you.

you've nothing to defend yourself.

oh god, oh shit, fuck.

you want to die, you want to so fucking die than go through the same pain of nearly being abducted or held hostage again.

yet your eyes could only close, your teeth kissing your bottom lips, biting hard to drown out another pained scream. whimpers, god, they're so loud yet you can't help the whimpers and the broken faucet from your eyes. even if you beg your own body to stop, it doesn't listen to the pleas of your mind.

the only thing it can focus on is the pain. recreant, volatile pain.

a moan escapes you, shaky and prolonged. the only other emotion that you could experience after is sorrow.

you didn't expect your pleasant night to end off in such a tragic note, but as your attacker held you by your throat with one hand, a knife pointed against your face, the next that happened was your head slammed roughly against the wall; a dull, beating ache lulling the back of your head after the momentary spark of pain— you're reminded that this is reality, and you're close to losing consciousness quick.

you're going to die.

bloody, a sobbing, dissociating mess, with your thoughts spinning around the same way the stranger and his lackeys laugh — bared yellow teeth, with the smell of ichor prevalent in their clothes, predatory eyes leering at you like you're prey — at your drunken moans of pain.

you're going to die.

"well, you gonna answer me or what, bitch? you wanna die!?"

he shouts you with spit that sprays all over your face, flashing you a grin and by extension flashing you his ugly, bared teeth. some missing were in his gums, others were artificial, most rotten like him.

you're going to die.

alone, in a ditch. bloody, laying in a pool of your own crimson the same way you saw your mother drowns in a puddle of hers.

you'll die like her—

what an honor.

the more you think about the situation, the more you're led to believe that the only way to solve this was through death alone, with no restrictions, no buts or ifs. you've no fight left in your body, or any weapon to fight. you're drunk, defenseless and if you actually managed to escape, you'd still bleed to death in some unknown alleyway. if you're lucky, a stray police may find you and give you a proper burial. but you remember you're in the living incarnate of hell in america, you'll never have a proper death.

this was night in gotham. your death alone only adds to the already astounding high percentages of all the other lives lost to the same twisted fate. you were no different. and to die early than to suffer from torture is better.

i mean, who would give a shit if you die tonight, right? your family— wrong! alfred would panic at your disappearance, but he'll forget about you like he did others, you're sure of it. that's why he still chose to fucking serve the wayne's instead of fully taking your side. if he had to choose between saving you or the people he swore his loyalty onto, he wouldn't hesitate. you're sure. even if the thoughts made the doom in your heart heavier. even if you know your story would never be covered nor acknowledged, you still year

but life is unfair, everything is. that's why you're here now, in a dark fucking alleyway with men who'll more than take advantage of your dying body and leave your corpse in the dump after. life is unfair, yet it's even more cruel in gotham. you should've expected this, should've known that a turn of events could be possible. you'll feel regret in the afterlife, only for a life that could've been well-lived, but never for the choice of living through the torture you call being a wayne.

so you came to the conclusion; confident for once after living for thirteen and a half years walking on eggshells around a manor.

this is not as bad as their neglect.

you smile in response to the guy, genuine and filled with grace as your heart that once pounds against your chest now slows down to a calm pace, finally at peace. with no other intention than to rattle him even more, to the point of choosing you to kill with his own hands as brutally as he likes— so you finally take a well deserved rest from life.

you gather saliva at the center of your tongue, ignore the taste of blood that swirls, nor the soreness of your throat and the crimson dripping down your nose.

when he looks down at you, disoriented at what you're doing, you spit at him, all the beating in your heart hastened, yet slowed down as quickly as you heave in a final breath.

... you're finally going to die.

"FUCKING HELL, YOU DAMN CUNT—!"

you close your eyes, bracing yourself for the knife that would hopefully stab you in the face, or the chest, and think of your last thoughts. you thank alfred for caring for you for those thirteen years, you hope you win your mother's graces in the afterlife even if she discovered your deliberate choices for killing yourself in the spur of a moment, and you wish your old family a happy life living without you, even if they already did so for so long.

all you needed was seconds to conclude your prayers.

but they weren't answered as you wanted them to be, not when you open your wide eyes to what was supposed to be a glint of silver piercing through the middle of your face was replaced by a bullet, quick and precise, shooting through his cranium without mercy, body immediately laying limp within those seconds.

the other two behind him were good as dead, too, your savior not wasting any moment to end their lives then and there.

and as you stumbled from the grip released from your body, your torso nearly crumpling in on itself, a flash of familiar, metallic red enters your vision when you'd look up from your savior who's huge form now meticulously acts as your shield from the brutal carnage that lays upon your line of sight and a pillar of protection trying to help you stand from the pain that shot through your lower abdomen.

but you don't want to stand, you want to drop dead right now. you don't want this, you didn't want this to happen.

instead of gratitude, dread fills your lungs with water and your fingers were left to tremor.

he looks down at you, you couldn't make out his expression, but you could feel the anger coursing through his body, the same as the day you first met him when he was still newly rebirthed, like it's telling you of his unadulterated rage at witnessing the scene before him. his body shakes, heavily, and his grip on your hands tighten, a mechanical groan drawling deep from his automated voice banks that changes his voice.

yet all you feel was fear overtaking your entire body prior to the comfort at the prospect of death.

you'd rather die than this.

even you couldn't believe the whimper of his name from your wobbling lips, as your body, out of instinct despite the pain, tried to push itself against the wall, away from him.

he only moves to hold your waste protectively, like a... brother suffocating his younger sibling with blankets when they complain it's cold. overbearing, disgustingly affectionate; you don't want it.

you feel cold.

this day could've been any worse— and it took a turn to the all worse scenarios you could imagine.

"jason...?"

"angel..."

a single familiar name was spoken, yet a new nickname was introduced. angel: the same way jason swore what you looked like when he sped through his motorcycle after hearing a shriek from all across the streets, finding you, bleeding and beaten to a pulp, with your attacker almost stabbing you.

of course, who wouldn't hesitate pulling a gun against someone trying to kill your precious? jason doesn't even need to choose.

and whether he did it in the name of justice and respect to his moral code, or because finding someone with a familiar face, sharing the same hopeless, yet death-accepting expression as he did back when he died— it all doesn't matter in the heat of the moment now.

what matters is that his angel is hurt and the madness in him festers the longer you bleed out in his arms, defiant and fearful all the same.

reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.

PLEASE READ: 11,000+ words. AND I LITERALLY HATE THIS CHAPTER (new least favorite fr) 😭 this decision is so impulsive i gonna regret it soon. chapter 5 will be released after a few days and i promise it has more action than this I SWEAR. first parts are always boring. anyways, there're so many song references in this chapter and for the next chapter. if any of you could guess what they are, i'll be rewarding all of you with something special. otherwise, please leave comments for this chapter! what motivated me to write was reading everybody's comments and inputs, about the love they have for this series as much as i do. interactions, asks, comments, they're all important and dear to me and i heavily appreciate it. so more interaction = more content. after all, i'd rather a post with little likes but with no interaction than a post with no interaction but all likes.

otherwise, i can't add anymore to my taglist so taglist requests are closed!

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[velvetydream]

꒰ :🥀 [ Till death do us part ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

Summary : What if Alastors dear little darling wife, his partner in crime, the person he thought he'd never see again, turns up with Mimzy on the day of the visit of the big boss of hell.

Pairing : Alastor x fem! Reader

Word count : 1899 Words

Genre : Fluff , Drama , Angst

Warnings ➵ Mentions of death, you're shorter than

Vaggie, possessive Alastor, swearing

Prequel -> > The radio star lost <

a/n : I love this trope ngl, tried to not make him to much out of character, hope it worked.. T T

Also I'm rather new to Hazbin Hotel, so I say sorry if anythings seems wrong or out of character! ><

┌───────────────────────── ·  ·  ·  · ♡

The whole hotel was a bit chaotic right now, Lucifer himself would be visiting in just a bit and Charlie wanted everything to be perfect. Colorful decorations were hanging everywhere, a banner was hung up for welcoming the king of hell, how does one even welcome the king of hell into their hotel? Charlie was probably the most stressed of all, but Vaggie did her best to calm her nervous wreck of a girlfriend down.

The moment Lucifer stepped into the hotel was meant to make everything go down, Alastor and his Ego had somehow always a snarky remark against Lucifer. Charlie tried her best to keep them apart, introducing her other friends, before she announced how she would be needing his help. And again the banter between the king of hell and the radio demon started all over again. As if throwing insults at each other before wasn't enough already, now they were pulling at Charlie left and right, like two babies fighting over a toy.

But all things come to an end, which Charlie was thankful for right now, as Mimzy, apparently a friend of Alastor, which was interesting to know he even had any, came barging in with a grand entrance. As the woman now settles down at the bar, talking with the others, Alastor and Charlie took Lucifer on a walk around, Husker disappearing for a second too, but soon joining them at the bar again, a scowl on his face, but something else, undescribable behind his eyes.

A bang was heard through the whole hotel as the entrance door was slammed open and heard could be an angry voice. "MIMZY! You little bitch!" A demon, a slight bit shorter than Vaggie probably, walked in. A scowl evident on the face, as her eyes scan over the place, before falling on the woman she was looking for. "How dare you leave me in the shit like that?! You've got it coming if those sharks don't kill you, I certainly will!" Ignoring the questioning looks of Angel and Husker, you stomp over to the blonde, ready to yank at her hair, when suddenly a bit of debris was thrown through the window and landed beside you, barely missing you by a hair. "The fuck?" The demon's head craned around, looking out the window and there they were, those fuckers Mimzy was in debt to.

You didn't really have time to react much, as three people stormed into the entrance hall, all you could catch was a glimpse of red before the person ran outside, screams of the sharks could be heard, at least those were finally taken care of.

The loan sharks were gone and fought off quickly by that person, his voice now directed to Mimzy, your own eyes on her yourself with a scowl. She and that red demon apparently knew each other quite well, as Mimzy was walking to the door, you finally really looked at the demon. He had short red and black hair, ears sat atop his head, despite scowling Mimzy he was smiling, though a sinister smile it seems. His attire was almost completely red too, a cane was clutched in his hands, as he watched Mimzy walk off, you could only make out a small part of his face. The man seemed so familiar as if you had known him for a long time.. Your heart was running a mile right now, it was getting hard to breathe, and then...

"Thank you Alastor, really.." The long-haired blonde spoke up.. That name, it couldn't be right? Mimzy would've told you, she knew him, she would've definitely told you.. right? You must be mistaken right now.. Your eyes were fixated on the man called Alastor, the voices and sounds around you were all a mush, drowned out as your brain was going all around. Now that you could see his face, he definitely had some resemblance to him.. to your late husband, who had died before you. You were his assistant, his partner in crime, when the news hit you that he was shot, it broke your heart, but still, you continued on alone, killing. That's probably what also got you to hell, well sooner than later you were figured out and soon arrived here in hell.

"Yo smiles, this girly is gawking at you for minutes now." Slowly voices were coming back to you, the white spider beside you talked, pointing his thumb at you, the red-haired now meeting your eyes, his ears straightening and standing alert like the ones of a deer caught in headlight. What irony if he was your Alastor, the irony of dooming him with deer-like features, after getting shot assumed for a deer while hiding one of the many bodies. That day you decided to let him go alone, oh if you just hadn't done that, maybe you both would be alive or you would've at least arrived together in hell.

Alastor was taking slow steps to you, the smile on his face looking strained, yet it never disappeared, his hand was reaching out for you but stopped. Eyes moving over your form, taking in everything. Resemblance to his wife evident, but.. how did he never notice you before? Had he ever met you, walked past, maybe even taken a second glance but dismissed this feeling he has right now.

Swiftly he grabs your wrist, dragging you behind him, ignoring the calls of his name of the other residents, his mind plagued by one only thought, more like one only person.. you.

Stumbling behind him, his grip rather firm on your wrist, yet it felt comforting as if you knew he would never hurt you. Not in your lifetime and also not now in your afterlife. Eyes watching the back of his head, you were wondering what expression his face harbors right now. Was he happy? Was he confused? Disappointed? Maybe he knew where you were all this time but didn't want to meet you. No, he wasn't like this. He may have been distant sometimes while alive, but in the end, he was always a darling to you. Taking care of you, just as he vowed on your wedding day. A distant memory, yet one of the most beautiful ones you have.

A door was opened and as you were pulled inside, the door closed. Steps echoed through the room, you noticed a forest on the other side of the room, but that didn't rather faze you, eyes on him again.. and him only. "Al-" You were interrupted by laughter, the man before you was hugging himself, his arms around him, yet you still weren't able to see his face. "D-Do you know.. How often have I thought about you?!" His voice was loud, a static sound like from a radio accompanied it. One of his hands was tearing at his hair now. "That bitch never told me... I'll make sure to kill her for that.. She kept you from me.." The laughter got even louder, as if the man before you was going insane.

This behavior was nothing new to you, he used to be like this, high on adrenalin when another murder was successful.. Or when he was close to being figured out by the police and detectives, yet he always slipped away right through their incapable fingers.

"I always wondered what happened to you, if you grew old with someone new.." If you were able to see his face right now, you would be able to see the sinister yet possessive smile on his face, his eyes darting around the room.

This all ended in a second when he felt a soft hand on his. He knew this hand, he also knew the person it belonged to like the front of his pocket. "I would never, I carried on alone in your memories, yet I was never as skilled as you darling, so sooner than later they connected all the dots to me." A low chuckle could be heard again, the static radio sound calmed down again too. The tall man slowly turned around now, his hand engulfing your own, his fingers softly running over your own, before he linked them together. How he had missed this feeling, despite having a distaste for people touching him, you were different. Your touch felt warm, like the summer sun kissing his skin, it felt comforting.

"I've missed you mon amour.." His voice was soft, probably the softest it had ever been since he had arrived in hell. His hand guides yours up to his lips, as he closes his eyes and presses a soft kiss to the back of your hand, a smile, now softer, on his lips. He was never one for kissing you on the lips, he definitely favored kissing your hand, like the gentleman he has always been. "I figured with how you were talking seconds ago my dear.." A soft smile was creeping up onto your lips too, mirroring his own one. Red eyes open again, your hand still pressed to his face, but now he was rather holding your hand to his cheek. "Oh how I wished I could've stayed with you my darling, we would've been so successful.." Giggling at his words, with him at your side, you probably would have been going for a long time. "But who says we can't be successful now?" A smirk etched its way onto your husband's face, oh how he loved your daring little mind, always thirsting for blood. With you by his side again now, he would definitely be able to get everything done that he wanted.

"Shall we go back? I want to meet your friends properly." Wanting to pull away your hand, he softly gives you a tug, your head landing on his chest now. Wide eyes look the the side now, as you weren't really able to move, his arms having snaked around you and his chin resting on your head. This was unusual much physical contact, but figured that you hadn't seen each other for multiple decades he yearned for your touch just a slight bit. Your arms lying around him, embracing the hug. "Let's just stay here a few minutes more, we got enough time to introduce you to everyone down there but for now.. let me have you for myself." Nodding softly, your head rests on his chest, as your eyes close and you simply enjoy the presence of your dearly beloved husband.

"What do you mean 'married to smiles'?!" Angel, as he was introduced to you, shouted from his place on the couch now, staring at you flabbergasted. "We've been married for quite a few years before his death." Smiling you answered his question. Alastor didn't like all the attention you were getting, but sooner than later he would have you all to himself again when you two go back to his cozy hotel room or the radio tower. "So you two fu-" Angel wasn't even able to finish his question before he shut himself up as he noticed the look on Alastors face. This time he would've been dead for sure if he finished that question.

Overall everyone invited you happily into their little hotel family, it was amazing. Charlie immediately took a liking to you and if you're being honest she quickly was viewed by you like a daughter.

[nochepsicodelica]

Perv Toji thoughts in the brain 😔 Fed you guys the fluffy pieces, now i'm thinking of the little weirdo in him.

Suggestive

Perv!Toji who slips his thumb past your lips when you start drooling after falling asleep on him. He wipes the drool that seeped out of the corner of your mouth before gently pushing down on the plush of your bottom lip and easing the digit into your slightly parted lips. His eyes remain lidded as he feels your soft, wet tongue with the pad of his thumb, and when you start to stir, he coos at you, soft murmurs of, "sleepy princess" and "I got you, baby". He's got the most satisfied look on his face when you don't question why his thumb is in your mouth, too tired to even bother.

Perv!Toji who cancels his gym membership and starts working out at home, because you said you wanted to join him in his workouts. He could never say no to something like that. This is just something else you can do together, but it'll have to be an at home thing, because he can't have people ogling you the way he does when he puts you to work. He won't make you do his exact intense routine, but he does push you to the point where you break a sweat. It's a must. He slowly walks around you, observing his favorite parts of your body as you do the warm ups he instructed you to do. Jumping jacks are one of his favorite things to watch you do. He likes watching your boobs and ass bounce, and because it's not just a simple set of ten or fifteen, you end up panting, a sound that sends his blood rushing down, down, down. When you get tired, he does the parts of his routine that he exempts you from. He has you sit on his lap while he does bench presses, he does his pushups, but he wants you wrapped around him as he does them, and so on. Everything is skin to skin because he's not gonna have you just sit there and watch when you have a better purpose.

Perv!Toji who can't hold consistent eye contact with you when you go braless and your nipples are poking through your shirt. He understands, from the many times you've said it out loud, that not all bras are comfortable. The prettiest ones, some of his favorites even, are usually the least comfortable to wear. They're a courtesy to the rest of the world, but when you're walking around at home, you free your chest from those constraints and he has absolutely no complaints about it. "Free those puppies" is a recurring line of his, and when you do get the bra off, your boobs instantly attract his attention, like they're magnets to his eyes. Sometimes his intrusive thoughts win and he'll reach out and grab a handful of tit. He's definitely not shy about it, either. He knows his hands are better than any bra you own. He can hold onto your tits and never get tired, he offers great support for your back when he's behind you, and massages are included <3

Perv!Toji who has the weirdest obsession with your tummy. He's constantly rubbing and pinching the soft flesh as a form of stress relief. The area is never clear of hickeys, there always has to be at least three on that part of you because he can't be gentle when he's kissing that area. I don't know, he's just internally feral about it and sometimes those feral feelings start to trickle out. Loves when you eat a good amount of food and you get a little belly. He's constantly thinking of putting a baby in you, so when your stomach protrudes that way with a food baby, it gives him the illusion of what you would look like in the early stages of carrying his baby.

That's all for now, buh-bye <3