#and i'm annoyed bc i have so much shit to do
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it is 7:39am and i'm already having a fucking terrible day and am in tears so 🙃 love this for me
#the heat in my house isn't working AGAIN#and i woke up to it being 15°C in my house#my throat is sore and my head hurts#and dan and phil have a limited edition sweater that i desperately want but can't afford#and i'm annoyed bc i have so much shit to do#today is Bad Day#and the stress is making my head hurt more#but i can't afford to not go into work today so that's fun#i'm just#so fucking over today already#can i please go back to bed#please#can today be cancelled#😭😭😭😭😭#personal rambles#ignore this#not important#stick is being dramatic#again#not stargate
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here's the sapphics i promised for yuri day!! 😊💕
#this is inspired by the one edit of andrew loomis's two women it made me think of them#they'd try to keep their shit under wraps but then they come out of the supply closet like this#i just know osoko would be so smug about one of the most popular women in her department being into her#goes from getting annoyed by erika getting so much attention from guys to doing victory laps bc they can never have her like she can#ily slow burn goofy one-sided rivalry office yuri.....#btw i'm saying sapphics since i feel like osoko is bi ( w/ a preference for fem-aligned ppl ) while erika is a lesbian#felt like i should clarify#osomatsu-san#osmt#yumematsu#osoko#mj ocs#oc : erika#workshopping their ship name rn so i'll come back and tag it#mj draws
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saw a post about "reviving" the stucky fandom like having a special day which is all well and good but i'm just like i mean is the fandom dead or did you just stop engaging like people are still very much making edits and fanart and writing fic like in fairness there IS a lot of fanwork that maintains canon and i understand not wanting any of that bc i am absolutely not interested in engaging with any of that bc well. i'm not interested in that kind of angst for this ship or in the belief that you can justify or make endgame logical lol BUT there are also people who remained invested in the ship without any of the nonsense like is it less than it was in 2014 sure but that's not even just bc people abandoned ship it's also bc when the thing is no longer getting new canon content there's simply not gonna be as much fan content churned out either like it is very natural but the content is still there if you actually go into the tags
#i'm like hi is fandom dead or are you just not reblogging gifs#have you SEEN yourbuckies gifs bc that's like some of the best shit i've ever seen and they're regularly in the edit tag#just went into the fanart tag for the first time in months and there's so much there and i queued multiple things#like tbf it is annoying to go into one of those tags and see some endgame compliant shit UNTAGGED#which i know not everybody is me and tags everything with catwsedit or endgameedit or whatever but they SHOULD#so like yeah it is a risk but i do make use of the block/post block options lol#but yeah i can't lie i find it more preferable if people just abandon ship rather than making content like haha look at steve leaving bucky#this is so heartwrenching and makes so much sense after all the other things they went through that i'm showing in this gifset right?#but anyway there are people who don't do that so like it's not hard to at least acknowledge that chunk of fandom
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Spending years having people treat you like they don't want you around or only spend time with you when they have nothing better to do really does fuck with your self worth apparently!!
#like i actively avoid so much socializing that I'd like to do on the principal that no one would want me there anyway#bc I've had that shit ingrained in me for so damn long#like I had *such* a good weekend last weekend bc I know my cousin actually likes having me around#but then I'm sitting here waiting to hear back from my best friend about hanging out sometime this summer#and my brain is like: she hasn't replied bc she doesn't want to see you bc you're so goddamn annoying
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hrgh every time I think I've come close to forgiving lance fucking parkin I skim the gallifrey chronicles. and then I remember the Horrors.
#listen bc when I read through and play around with AHistory I'm inclined to enjoy and respect his work as a curatative fan historian#but his actual prose writing#it. it beggars belief it truly does it's just atrocious#megan whines into the empty abyss of cyberspace#everyone in the EDA discord who thinks father time is the worst of it oh boy babes the worst is absolutely yet to come#like I get *why* they gave him the last book of the line because he does (mostly) know his lore extremely well#so it kind of makes sense that he'd be picked to wrap up all the myriad loose ends#and also he's well liked and afaik pretty personable unlike some fuckers I could name and didn't spend years burning bridges#but oh my god oh my god literally everything to do with Fitz and Trix is just. awful. terrible.#guy who absolutely does not understand or respect any of the three of that team TARDIS but especially Fitz#also The Thing With Sam#never happened fuck you lance#also given just how many asspats he gives himself over his command of the lore he fucking got Sam's middle name wrong?!#also it's soooo obvious how much he loves Anji because she's a Capitalist GirlbossTM#he really does not grasp her character development or personal arcs but he thinks he's killing it#like she *is* a Capitalist GirlbossTM but that's not all she is but he's not actually interested in her interiority at all#he just enjoys that she's a fiscal conservative#god the fact that trading futures is the literal very next book after Anachrophobia#one of the best books in the series that explicitly calls out Anji's pro-capitalism stance using time-war-for-profit played for utter horro#immediately followed by...almost the exact same premise but Zany RompTM#it's not that capitalists misusing time travel for profit is inherently bad it's just *these guys* who suck#no lesson is learned! then you fucking get to the fucking gallifrey chronicles and Fitz actually deciding that this very same scheme#'wasn't perhaps unethical' just because it's Trix and Anji doing it#like yeah sure Anji and Trix can have a little insider trading. as a treat. but that is literally the definition of unethical lol#the only reason time traveling to acquire stock tips isn't massively illegal is because it's not fucking real like??#of-fucking-course it's unethical you walnut#parkin you smug annoying self-obsessed lore-obsessed pregnancy-obsessed just barely-plausibly deniably not homophobic asshole#I'm avoiding even bringing up the actual beef with TGC because first of all everyone fucking knows but also it's just.#it's such a goddamn shit awful trainwreck#if parkin wasn't a Fitz-hating homophobic coward he would've ended the gallifrey chronicles the same way he ended the dying days. wink.
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there's a lot of reasons to hate the way ad-based levels are now the standard starting level for streaming, but beyond just sheer blind hatred for it, it's also fucking annoying because they don't even have the diversity of actual tv ads. at least when you had regular tv channels you got like. usually a decent variety of tv ads coming your way and some local ads thrown in. with streaming services it's literally the same five fucking ads. i've seen the same ad for the same movie 40+ times because it plays at every single ad break. all this is doing is making me so homicidally irritated you're basically guaranteeing i'm never going to go to macy's or watch this stupid fucking horror movie about a pool. they're forcing us to watch ads and then they're making the ad-watching experience - already bad - even fucking worse.
#i finally gave up and decided to download criminal minds instead lmao i couldnt take it anymore#liveblogging life#im not joking about that horror movie ad it was on literally every! single! ad break!#also saw a LOT of amazon happy honda days and macy's#to the point where i now have zero interest in any of these brands. i've been so overexposed im just fucking annoyed about it#like i hate tv ads too but at least it wasn't the same fucking tv ads on every single ad break?????????#idk man i'm keeping netflix purely bc i do like having one (1) streaming option#but uh. i think i'm officially out of streaming outside of that. i already kind of was bc i only really have amazon prime & netflix#tried hulu. hate the ad experience. hate being bullied to the more expensive non-ad option. so bye hulu!#the main reason i like streaming is that i dont always know what i want to watch so i dont always have a whim thing downloaded#and it IS more effort to go and download shit if i dont already have it so it IS easier just to find it on netflix or w/e#but now with everything so spread out like... it takes just as much time to fucking find it anyway lmao#anyway the point is streaming sucks lmao
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ppl really b acting as if there's only one specific ship that has weird shippers that will complain about ppl not shipping their otp. it's literally always the case you either get fucked over for liking a gay ship or for liking a straight ship or for liking a toxic ship or people just start going "oh there's nothing wrong with the ship but the shippers💀" and you don't fucking know what they're talking about. like can we all just chill. the weird shippers r everywhere it's called some ppl are assholes sometimes. it's not fandom specific
#it's like with the “x ship sent death threats to the author!”#first of all : proof?#second of all: I've heard this for multiple diff ships that is not new that is not exclusive to one fandom or one ship.#sometimes ppl in fandom r too invested and do stupid shit#god#I'm sorry I doomscrolled another Instagram reel comment section#it's just. I'm so tired of ppl talking about mha's fandom as if it's the worst thing of all time?#first of all no its not? fucking chill?#second of all. if the fandom is ruining the show for you then genuienly get off the internet#third. so sorry but half of the time when ppl say the mha fandom is awful they're either calling it cringe (fandom is always cringe get over#it it's ok) they're complaining about everything being gay (so you're a homophobe ok. literally what is wrong with making character queer#ON OUR OWN INTERPRETATIONS OF THE STORY. DUDE.#)#or theyre just.... picking up random shit thats been rumored to have happened or that's just an isolated thing that happens all the time in#every fandom (refer to my earlier points)#genuienly. if the fandom pisses you off that much. get off the internet . block the tags. like for your health.#it's so annoying to try and look at mha stuff or even TALK IRL#WITH PEOPLE WHO LIKE MHA#(i am not fucking with you this has happened)#and being told or reading that oh mha is fun but the fandom sucks :///#sorry you don't experience whimsy and are incapable of curating your own experience?#Jesus#(there's also the ppl who r like ugh mha is mid mha sucks in like comments of mha fan but like fuck these guys#you're entitled to your opinion I if you don't like mha that's fine I'm not going to throw eggs at you but like...#why do u feel the need 2 go into a comment section of stuff that is about mha to say that mha sucks actually and the author is bad and the#characters r badly written and blah blah blah. LEAVE ME ALONEEEE)#Anyway maybe one day I will finally leave Instagram but for now I can't bc fukcing. ppl r on there#mumblings//#rant
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Would I be proving my therapist (who has been voicing some concerns about my depression maybe getting worse but like I feel like it's fine) right by cancelling my appointment tomorrow cause I just don't wanna. Like all I have to report is that I'm tired and I wanna rest and I just don't really feel like it y'know
#unrelated to the flu shot but i'm certain i'll feel it tomorrow#idk i've been in a weird state lately where i get really excited about my art and i get super talkative in general#i feel peppy and enthusiastic and excited and then i just crash. HARD.#it feels like all the years of being a shut-in finally catch up to me all at once and it's like apocalyptic hellfire all consuming agony#and nobody is ever gonna love me again bc i refuse to allow it and the lights are too bright in public spaces.#i feel like i'm not really a person outside of my interests and my artwork. i forget that i'm like. a being.#i think i'm also just annoyed bc i'm gonna be Doing Things. already so soon it's gonna be halloween#and i have plans w my sisters and their friends and later i'll be spending the night at my sister's#and i do want to do all that. but it pisses me off that i had waste time today and will have to tomorrow#when i could be drawing. i should have been drawing. i cannot emphasize enough actually#how artwork is just. the one and only thing that makes me feel connected to people.#that brings me joy and purpose like nothing else. so i just get extra upset if i'm gonna be doing too many things LMFAO#and as i say all this like damn milo some people have jobs. i used to. a lifetime ago.#but to be so real i've gotten so much worse. at. everything.#man sometimes i can't even tolerate being at one of my sisters' place bc she doesn't have lamps.#so i just have to chill in the dark in an adjacent room and it's like Fine.#but why can't everyone live by MY rules.#if i skip out on therapy tomorrow i should cancel tonight. i guess i'm just split about it.#like. it's clear i have things to talk about. but man i just don't fucking WANT to. i'm SICK OF IT#it's more of the same and then some. my circumstances will never change bc i'm in hell. okay.#who CARES .......#who GIVES a shit..........#ect.
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Lads i have Fucked Up Big Time
#somehow I just. Fuckin. Forgot. That if I wanna switch my major that I have to do a bunch if shit#and I missed the deadline for it because I didn't realize that I needed to do it and also forgot to reach out about it until WAY too late#so now I can't do anything until the spring#which is also bad because I don't know what the fuck my class schedule should be!!!!!!!#advisor told me that I can talk to her after the enrollment period and schedule a meeting and we can figure out what I'm doing from there#but like. ouggggggghhg#Im so worried there's gonna be some fuckup with my schedule and I won't be able to register for enough classes to be a full time student#which would be so bad#idk should I just wait until AFTER the enrollment period??? and just have no classes???#I'm gonna try and register for a few classes so I at the very least have Something in my schedule#mainly ones for my current (old) major and a few of the new classes#because multiple classes that I need to take I can Only take them IF I'm enrolled in that major. Which I'm currently not because I'm stupid#im just stressed now and unfortunately there isn't much i can do 🥰#i don't even know which classes I should be trying to take. I can GUESS but like who the fuck knows#so i can't even try and plan out a potential schedule i just get to sit on my ass and stress#sighh. im gonna try to not think about it bc its gonna stress me out#on one hand it's tempting to blame like. idk. literally every adult i talked to because none of them actually told me#“Hey btw you actually need to go to this office and fill out this paperwork and submit it by a due date”#they were just like yeah okay u can take some classes. and then we'll figure it out later#like. i would have gone and done the shit if I knew I needed to do iT!!!!#but also I should have sat down and looked more into it to so#bleughhhhhhhh#I'm just stressed. and annoyed. at myself mainly because like. duh of course I'd have to go fill out paperwork but I just was like#“Yeah I'll talk to my advisor later” and kept pushing shit off until it was too late <3#idk man im. so tired#hopefully it'll all work out okay and fine and i won't have the shittiest schedule on earth next semester#and hopefully the classes i need won't fill up!!!! :))))))#ahahahahahsh#im fucked man#lilac post
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Another funny thing about weird Decepticon stans trying to pretend that the Autobots were just as bad as them is that, in IDW1, the Autobots literally did not exist until Orion Pax stormed the Senate and delivered a speech claiming "Autobot" as a new label to mean "autonomous." Whereas all of the colonization during the Golden Age happened during Nova Prime's time a couple million years prior.
And during the war, the Decepticons were literally cyberforming planets they killed and had established something called the Interstellar Constellate at some point. And Megatron said in Chaos Theory that his plan for his Decepticon empire if/when he defeated the Autobots was to rebuild and cyberform planets to create a Decepticon empire where mechanical beings reign supreme.
Like, the BEST ARGUMENT you can make is that since Optimus is a Prime, he technically inherits the problematic nature of the Primacy's history of colonization, but I think that even that argument is pretty thin considering that Optimus was always pro-organic to the point of valuing their lives equally to Cybertronians, which is something that even a lot of Autobots fail to do. Compared to other members of his species, Optimus is literally a radical in terms of his stance that organic life = Cybertronian life, but go off I guess lmao.
You can even see that during the time of Sentinel's Senate, there was an engraving on the wall that said "freedom is the right of all civilized beings", showing that Optimus at some point took that phrase and changed it to underline the fact that freedom is a universal right for ALL beings.
Also, again for IDW1 specifically, a lot of anti-Optimus people clearly don't even know the timeline of events in that story. OP spent a good chunk of the story working against the Senate with things like
Storming the Senate on Megatron's behalf to deliver an angry speech against government corruption
Working with Senator Shockwave undercover to investigate Proteus being suspicious, uncovering a conspiracy to frame the Decepticons for a terrorist attack, and risking his team to prevent it
Going on the run and doing secret operations like saving hotspots from being attacked by Sentinel's forces
(For bonus points, he even saved Drift from dying either by drug overdose or being beaten to death by some thugs and called an emergency transport for him to Ratchet's clinic)
The regime change happens because Sentinel Prime is killed BY MEGATRON who at that point had already become a gladiator criminal underworld. By the time Orion is back in Iacon acting as Zeta's head of security/general/etc, Megatron is already well on the path of corruption and senseless violence doing things like arranging illegal weapon trafficking (shown in Optimus Prime) and forcing Rumble and Frenzy to get frame reformats to fit Megatron's tactical needs (Megatron Origin). Apparently Optimus doesn't deserve to have facts about his backstory and difficult contexts around his decisions be observed by this fandom though lmao.
If you take IDW1 out of context and go "OP worked for the regime!" then yeah of course it looks bad, and yes he did do that. But a lot of people also neglect to mention 1. the anti-government actions he DID take 2. the fact that by the time OP started fighting against Megatron, he had already become super evil and 3. because Megatron was super evil, Orion couldn't just desert Zeta's government and be like, "oh yeah I'll totally be able to talk Megatron out of doing terrorism and violence just on my own" especially since in this continuity they barely fuckin' knew each other before OP became a Prime. There's so much shit around OP being a cop and the ways he did or didn't succeed in trying to change the planet for the better, but none of that is addressed when people just go "oh he's a cop and the Autobots are colonizers" like ????? Stop it.
Stop taking this shit out of context and stop cherrypicking evidence to make one side look good and the other side look bad lmao.
#squiggposting#discourse#i regret to inform you all that i have been forced to witness this particular discourse again#like i'm sorry but in terms of idw1 specifically if you try to say that 'the autobots did colonialism too' you are straight up wrong#there is some weird shit in there though where autobot was coined by orion#but also for some reason sentinel's forces are called autobots???? it's really fuckin weird JRO why did you do that#but i ignore that part bc it makes no sense and it requires too much conjecture#i guess you could also try to claim that the regime used the autobot insignia therefore the autobots are the regime but like#i feel like that's basically the equivalent of the country's flag and a specific political party incorporating that flag into their own ban#the weird shit with the autobot name/insignia isn't the first contradictory or confusing lore JRO has written#so i feel at license to basically ignore that part#but anyways. the idw1 autobots didn't do colonialism and the decepticons did. sorry#that being said anyone who genuinely tries to pass moral judgment on decepticon stans just for liking decepticons#is an annoying ass anti and a bitch ass#i'm just begging ppl that just bc antis are annoying doesn't mean you should also be annoying#and you shouldn't devolve into cherrypicking canon or turning things black and white as well
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😮💨
[sorry for the hardcore tag rants, y'all]
#more than a little exhausted by certain things#no stability anywhere in life#not in work or family or even friends#would settle for literally just one single shred of continuity and reliance#one single piece of my life I can count on to be there for me and reliable and safe#just a shred of something or someone being there for me in the long run#work has proven garbage#family is so fucking volatile it might as well be an unhandled explosive#and the very few threads of friendship I've found and thought were worth the time and effort to strengthen have just#left me abandoned or floundering doing either all the work to be left behind or what I can to be uncounted for#either nothing or not enough and not counted for in the long run#because apparently my friendship is just as forgettable or easily disregarded as every other part of me#or at least that's how it definitely fuckin feels#and I'm So Spooked when it comes to making friends!#I'm scared to connect with people who actually seem genuinely interested in getting to know me and talk to me!#and that sucks bc I want to get to know them but everyone else seemed interested at first too and then a few months later!#they're just as hard to get in touch with as everyone else who turns away!#I don't want to annoy anyone or be too much anymore#I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt like a big giant fucking baby!#i know it's mostly on me and managing shit but it still just. sucks ASS.#I don't wanr to be scared to make friends because people abandon me#I don't want to run people off#I want to be better and have better because I know I deserve it#sorry for ranting I'm just. incredibly jacked up about some more recent stuff bc it brought up long term stuff#i am not immune to hating myself bc of bad friends#anyway yeah sorry i am done grambling#grant grumbles#grambling is my new grant grumbles extra#also to you amazing guys who are so full of love (myccc and hack!!!!!) ily tons and you bring me life#i am trying to be just as cool and worthy as you both!!!! please don't ever leave me! you keep me going even if I don't show it well!!!
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so kusakabe and higuruma Megumi and fucking MEI MEI can survive but Mechamaru Nanako Mimiko and Mai had 2 die. Alright.
#JJK spoilers#Everytime I'm like ''i don't actually care that much I shouldn't be so negative'' I remember that Gege treats disabled characters like shit#And also fucking fumbled some of the characters with the MOST POTENTIAL (THE FUCKING NANAKO MIMIKO AND MAKI MAI PARALLELS)#Anyway I'm killing us allllllllll ❤️#Also I feel like the idea of ''strength'' is never really actually. Fully criticized like maybe I'll have clearer thoughts later but it's#Very much ''dont look down on the weak bc they might be strong'' instead of ''dont look down on the weak bc. They're human beings.''#And that just annoys me personally. Like Suguru is Wrong but the narrative doesn't actually Prove Him Wrong y'know. In the story#He's mostly wrong bc he's the antagonist not bc he's created a whole fucked up worldview as a deeply traumatized teen and then#Created a structure that was abusive not only to the ppl he didnt value but also the ppl he did and NEITHER GROUP IS GIVEN SUFFICIENT FOCUS#AAAAAAAAAGHHHH. <- guy who's interested in cults and cult abuse and wants to see fiction that actually reflects#How cult survivors are affected by said abuse and also recover. Can you tell I'm not over Nanako and Mimiko's deaths because they were#REALLY FUCKING INTERESTING CHARACTERS. CAN YOU. CAN YOU. CAN Y#Somehow everything I write Abt JJK ends up being about how I wish I could enter the story and crucify Geto. I hate that motherfucker#(he's was my first favorite character in the series and even tho he's been rightfully usurped he's genuine fascinating both in general and#Also specifically bc his character touches on some of my preexisting interests and also I feel like no one else understands him.#And when I say that I mean no one else wants to beat him to death with bricks and rocks and blunt weapons for the right reasons like I do)
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siiiiiiigh
#i am in fact a grown adult who is still incapable of talking about their feelings and thoughts to people so I'll just rant here#my relationship with my mother is. so weird. it's not always bad but it always ends up bad for one reason or another#she can be perfectly civil and i'll still be irritated. other times i do try to tolerate it and engage and she ends up saying something#upsetting to me either way.#i don't want to keep being rude to her i don't want to get mad and annoyed all the time but i just can't stop. it's always like this#and i hate myself for it and i hate her and i hate everything about it#today i was leaving for work and she was like. i'll take the trash out of your room and i told her not to do it. she kept insisting and i#had to raise my voice at her to maybe get the point across to get her not to touch anything#and yes my room is a fucking mess and it is something to be embarrassed of. i just feel so fucking tired all time time and i keep tellin#myself that i will clean it this time for sure and then i don't. most of the time it's my mother taking care of it without my permission#and i am grateful for it bc nobody likes living in a mess... but i also fucking hate it because it makes me feel even more worthless#i just can't get rid of the feeling of shame. no matter what i do.#and back to the mother thing. i told her that if she touches anything i will go to her room and throw out anything that isn't nailed down#even though objectively i have no reason to oppose her helping me#but i also fucking hate it#maybe being rude is the only way to get it across. but also i get irritated about anything so easily#i feel shittier and shittier every day. had there been an easy and painless way of killing myself i would have done it already#and despite how much i want to blame this on a disorder or lack of access to medication. there is no magic pill that would fix me is there#i'm just a shitty person who cannot get it together despite everything being handed to me#i'm literally bad at anything and everything. i'm not even a good blogger lmao#people have it much worse in life and still do better. me? i'm useless. there's no helping it. i should have died from covid or something#nobody will save me. nobody cares enough. besides one person whom i push away because i can't stand her and i don't even know why 👍#if i stop messaging people first most of them would forget about me#i am alone. a lonely person in a messy room desperately trying to be entertaining so someone will pay a little bit of attention to me.#not to mention the geopolitics#i won't even go there. i hate the possibility that people might see it mentioned and give me shit for it#one more thing that is apparently my fault. directly or indirectly#all i want is to leave this country. spend the day with someone who cares for me like an actual friend. and then shoot myself so i don't#have to go back#sealene.txt
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i feel kinda crazy bc whenever i was a teenager i created this sorta imaginary older big sister who had moved out of the house so in my head i could live w her whenever i wanted bc she had survived it all and was independent and she would also just comfort me in a big sisterly way whenever something bad or upsetting happened and recently ive been going back to that at my big age 😭 and its kinda sad and also just wish fulfillment and also kinda scary bc i really used to think that by my age i'd have everything sorted but i really don't and i know that's normal and nobodies twenties are perfect but some people also have good relationships w their fathers which is crazy just to think about sooo
#is this readable? i hope not ❤️#i typed up some of my feelings about this in a word doc and just realised like damn i basically have an imaginary friend as an adult#i really am crazy lol#i just feel lonely within my family atm. bc my brother is younger than me so he could never really do anything to help#and i feel like i cant really trust my mam the same anymore..even tho i still love her a lot#and i'm trying to improve my relationship w my dad bc im realising what a hard life he had and that he's not like an irredeemable Bad Perso#and sometimes he'll look at me a certain way or apologise for something small that he would never have apologised for a couple of years ago#and i feel like im going crazy like is he becoming a better person or..? and i feel bad bc im not really doing the same#or maybe i am. sometimes i think im unfair to him considering how he is now but i also cant really reconcile what he is now w/ how he#was then. and then he'll suddenly say something to me in a certain tone of voice or with a certain sharpness and i'll go back to how a felt#as a teenager :/ i rlly dont know what to do about it but i think its because i dont really have anyone to talk to about it#i mean i sort of do. but i also dont actually know how much of it actually happened and how much of it i just made up#but having worked w teenagers yeah they can be little shits but i also cant imagine treating any of them the way my dad treated me#just bc theyre annoying or have an attitude or are a little mean or whatever#like theres actually a lot of ppl i could talk to but also how do you even bring something like this up#how do i say 'oh and i invented an older sister as a coping mechanism and sometimes i still talk to her in my head' without sounding crazy#its 2am here i need to go to bed i have work in the morning 😭 day and night and next day ruined bc my dad spoke to me slightly funny
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me: *puts on a wool skirt, an apron, a poofy shirt and a wool vest in a 24°c apartment*
also me: why am I so hot
#noopa rambles#hdjddjd I'm trying to figure out what to wear to a friend's Fancy Tea Party on saturday#the obvious choice was ofc either a full folk dress or some folk dress pieces#I'm pretty sure I won't go for the full dress at this point; esp bc the weather forecast is. not great#protecting the wool skirt from the weather(tm) might be a pain#protecting just the vest is much easier#rn I'm thinking I'm gonna opt for my Kaukola vest and shirt and throw some black pants on to go with it#if anyone wants a reference google 'kaukolan kansallispuku' (the women's version)#I do not have the veil; I have the headband (not sure if I'll wear it for the party but it goes Woosh!!!)#I can't believe the shirt still (mostly) fits; I got it when I was 11 dhdjjd#the sleeves are too short and the hem too but otherwise it was fine???#I remembered that the shoulders would've been tight but they weren't???#the hem is gonna be a bit annoying if I wear the shirt with pants bc it will try to ride up when I tuck it in#the sleeves are fine if my arms are down but they defo ride up when I move them#I should acquire a slightly bigger shirt...#tho the skirt of that dress is simply too small so it might be easier to just sell the whole thing#but the things are so damn expensive so getting a new one would be hard and I'm emotionally attached#I do have a different dress (rautjärvi) that is actually in my size#which I would opt for if I was gonna wear a whole ensemble#tho for some reason the cuffs of that shirt are actually tighter than the cuffs of the old too small shirt???#just how small has my aunt been when that dress was made for her!!!#granted she was a teenager then and not. almost thirty. but dhdjdkd what the fuck man#the only real downside to this whole ordeal is that I need to iron the damn shirt...#it's So Wrinkly#damn this fancy tea party for making me iron shit!!!
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one of the prev posts I was like oh cql? on the url and they WERE cql...but their top tag was...bad....but I don't even have the energy to refute their nonsensical arguments for it because like that's not what shipping really is about but also THEY REALLY THINK JC IS *THE ONE* TO MAKE WWX HAPPY AND LWJ IS BORING???? incest aside like jc makes wwx MISERABLE jfc canonically yeah lwj does make wwx happy and jc is left miserable and alone due to the consequenves of his actions including actively tormenting and mocking and humiliating and trying to kill wwx. go die mad about it 😭
#like 'wow their love for each other is so crazy and all-consuming its insane to thibk some boring lan cultivator could do that for him'#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!!! their relationship is so unhealthy and marred by debt and obligations in the FIRST PLACE#and even without that yeah there's love there but they also just don't see eye to eye on so many things and jc actively impedes#wwx in things he wants or believes in and also treats him like shit like this is fully a sector of the fanbase who are just making things u#in their own head to enjoy#which would be mildly annoying if not for the fact that it's 1. INCEST#and 2. between two characters with THAT kind of history. wwx needs someone he can like...trust..#okay I guess I donhave the energy. I'm less angry at them calling lwj boring. yeah he is kind of boring but that's fine#wwx canonically doesn't think so and canonically is very happy w him#these bitches think his arguably abusive extremely immature and volatile pseudo-brother who tortured and tried to kill him is BETTER FOR HI#?????? brother jc is not better for ANYONE. there's loving someone and there's wanting to be around them and shit. like there's so much#history there it's lucky if they can even be friends again#like 🤢🤢🤢 what the fuck are you on. the narrative was pretty clear. media comprehension -100000#I don't even think this person is unintelligent or anything they just have incredibly bad and nonsensical taste#or at least used to. idk how old those posts were I fully admit#wwx with anyone besides lwj is a hard sell but jc is beyond insane for multiple reasons#even if you 'don't see them as brothers' which is an interpretation I guess they still have a horrible relationship#and jc makes wwx feel terrible bc he has a bad personality and blames wwx for all the most painful things that happened to him and he lashe#out constantly. like he canonically makes wwx miserable and forces him to prioritize jcs own emotional and physical needs. by the end he's#a little better. but he's also not the moral beacon wwx gravitates towards. he's pragmatic and callous#wwx NEEDS someone he can trust someone who shares his principles someone who will take care of him and not demand him to crush inconvenient#parts of himself and play nice. to cater to someone else's feelings#like...structurally they're so well matched this post was insane I hate c/x shippers so much 😭#cor.txt
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