#and i’ve averaged about 4hrs of sleep this week | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lazyyogi · 4 years ago

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I’m happy with my life right now. My job is engaging and challenging, my living space is lovely, and I‘m feeling more comfortable adulting overall. However, it’s not enough.

It’s been really hard to find time to meditate daily. Today I tried for the first time in weeks and I kept falling asleep because I’ve been averaging 4hrs of sleep nightly. There’s little energy by the end of the day to do yoga or other such things.

I keep reminding myself that the decision to become a doctor was to provide a samsaric vehicle for my spiritual path. And yet I can see how delicate an operation it is to live in the world while attempting to avoid becoming of the world.

I know it is possible but I haven’t hacked my way into it yet.

I’m not upset about this. I’m challenged by it, riddled by it, enticed by it.

So here are my current approaches for troubleshooting:

Journaling. This is an activity to help free my mind from the communicative limits of humans. If I’m speaking to others, I have to do so in ways and in terms with which they connect. If I am only communicating with myself, there is no such limits. This is an aspect of journaling that benefits anyone.

Less TV. When I get home exhausted, it’s much easier to turn on the TV and tune out than it is to do other things. Yet such tuning out is unrewarding and absent of enrichment. Once it’s over, you’re right back where you started.

Read more. Comics, fiction, whatever. Stimulate the senses. Whereas watching TV is passive, reading is active. They both involve appreciating stories but the manner of engagement differs.

Exercise regimen. Do a little stretching and couple of strength building exercises daily. Starting small so that a daily habit can form is important. So I’ll have to come up with something for that.

Oh yeah, and meditate more.

That’s it for now! I’m going to trial it for a month and see how it goes.

Namaste 😁

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whittletheworld · 5 years ago

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i was tagged by @imaginaryhat

I am bored as hell during lockdown so I’m finally doing this

This or That

Instructions: tag 10 people you’d like to know better!

Name: elly

Starsign: leo

Hogwarts House: hufflepuff

Height: 5′5

Sexuality: gay

Favorite animal: blue whale

Average time of sleep: 7 hours in the week, 9 at the weekend

Current time: 16:51

Dogs or Cats: dogs

Blankets you sleep with: we don’t have blankets here to sleep with, just one duvet

When you made your blog: 2009 I think

Followers: 737

Why you made your blog: I heard about it on twitter and I wanted another place to fangirl (read: gay) over actresses

Reason for your url: quote from Susan Orlean’s The Orchid Thief

rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you would like to get to know better

real name? eleanor

nickname? elly

zodiac? leo

favorite musicians or groups? Barbra Streisand, Fleetwood Mac, sondheim musicals

favorite sports teams? nah

other blogs? I have durrantplummer saved still I think but I don’t post there and I don’t think I could part with whittletheworld as my blog name

do i get asks? not really and I don’t come on here enough any more

how many blogs do i follow? 331

tumblr crushes? none

lucky numbers? 22 but only because it’s my birthday

what am i wearing? stripey long sleeved top, tartan pj bottoms, slipper boots

dream vacation? Positano

dream car? I don’t really care about cars enough to have a dream car, but probably a convertible if I were to push it

favorite food? the perfect cripsy on the outside fluffy on the inside goose fat potato. and maybe burritos

drink of choice? coca cola, for alcohol a margarita

instruments? piano but I can barely play anymore

languages? english and enough french to order food

celebrity crushes? so many but right now Allison Janney

random facts? Cher once shook my hand

20 random FACTS about yourself that may surprise people.

1. do you make your bed? no I’m awful

2. what’s your favourite number? 22

3. what’s your job? I work in quality assurance at a university

4. if you could, would you go back to school? god no

5. can you parallel park? yes quite well, which is frustrating considering I can’t even reverse into a bay

6. a job you had which would surprise people? I’ve not had many, I did a paper round though as a teenager

7. do you think aliens are real? gotta be in an infinite universe

8. can you drive a manual car? yes

9. what’s your guilty pleasure? staring at hot women on public transport

10. tattoos? no

11. favourite colour? pink

12. things people do that drive you crazy? press the button to cross the road when I’ve clearly already pressed it because it’s lit up for christ’s sake

13. any phobias? social

14. favourite childhood sport? nah

15. do you talk to yourself? only in the car

16. what movie do you adore? Dances With Wolves (the 4hr director’s cut), it’s perfection

17. do you like doing puzzles? not especially

18. favourite kind of music? showtunes

19. tea or coffee? tea

20. the first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? a “space lady” because I’m constantly reminded of it

I tag anyone who wants to do it...

#personal

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profoundbond-n-tfw · 6 years ago

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Insomnia & Lack of sleep

Hey y'all as some of you may or may not have noticed by my random postings I tend to be all over the place with my hours I am on here. I don't actually use my queue...so when you see stuff come up from me on your feed it's me actually reblogging.

Well the reason I am writing this is because I have suffered from insomnia for about 20 years now (Yes I am over 30). I average around 3 to 4 hrs of sleep each night (so within 24hrs) and yeah while it sucks and I'm constantly tired & grumpy I'm pretty used to it.

This past week and a half (10 days) however has been absolute HELL!!!! I have stayed awake for over 72 hours before but that was usually my own doing. This past 10 days I have been averaging 1 to 2 hours sleep every 24hrs and not consecutively. I've been feeling the effects on my body and mind. My body feels like lead, my eyes are burning, my mouth feels like cotton mouth, I get migraine spikes, and even having minor hallucinations seeing things that aren't there out of the corner of my eye, or just out of focus. When I do sleep I am having weird nightmares. I zone out at work to the point where anyone can walk up to me and start talking and I will be scared shirtless like the jumped out at me from around a corner. My anxiety is spiking to fairly unmanageable levels and I know I shouldn't be driving because I have caught my eyes closing at red lights too often and my reaction and response time is slowed.

Well last night I got 2.5hrs sleep (the most I have gotten in 10 days) and no nightmares. I'm actually feeling pretty good today. Better than I have in almost 2 weeks.

I'm just wondering if my body is actually readjusting to get less sleep than I've been used to? I mean if I manage to sleep for 5 -7 hours I feel over tired like I over slept. If I actually sleep for something crazy like 8-12 hours it's usually because I'm very sick.

I know you're going to tell me to seek out a doctor and I may do that soon if I don't regulate back to my normal routine of 3-4hrs a night but I have sought out medical treatment before (it's been over 20 years of this) I have taken sleeping pills (& had seizures from them), also drowsy meds which I quickly built up a resistance to. I often resort to drinking just to be able to pass out for a few hours.

So if anyone out there has a medical background etc do you know if this is normal for insomnia cases? Getting only 1 or 2 hrs of sleep in 24hrs as I get older? Or maybe if I regulate back to 3-4hrs it may be just a result of a spike in my anxiety and depression?

#insomniac #insomnia #lack of sleep #sleep deprived #sleep deprevation #medical conditions #long term conditions #about me #asking if i'm getting worse or if this was just a period of higher anxiety #anxiety #depression

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bustedraw · 6 years ago

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11/13-11/14

(It took two days to get all this down, hence the title of this post)

It’s Tuesday morning, approximately 8:44am. November 13th, 2018.

This will be lengthy as I have a hefty amount to unload and unpack.

I have not written a post in quite some time due to improved circumstances. I guess that’s a good thing, all things considered. The last post titled ‘Wrong Question, Wrong Answer’ was written on April 28th, 2018. It’s been almost 7 months since I’ve sat down and purged my thoughts. I know I wrote a post before the last one, but I had a shitty wifi connection which prevented me from posting it. Here it is:

Title: The Dust in Your Lungs

March 5th, 2018 at 2:35pm

I want to sleep but I can’t. I’ve been averaging 3-4hrs a night for the past 2+ weeks. It’s exhausting. I know my body needs more rest to function, so how am I able to get through an entire day? I’m still trying to figure out this new medication. I feel a little better about things.. My attitude is starting to shift. I’m trying to live intentionally and not just go through the motions. I’m trying to let things come to me. I’m also trying to take action.

This abrupt and drastic change has really made me reevaluate everything in my life. I’m confident I made the best decision, given the circumstances. It’s still hard to fully accept. This wound is fresh. I’m relearning, I’m unlearning.

But you play in the street at night…

I feel so happy and liberated. I also feel so fucking sad it hurts. What is missing? What am I not seeing? I’m keeping my eyes open.

...A lot has changed since then, and for the better I must say.

Let’s catch up, shall we?

Since I last posted I’ve made some huge, life-changing decisions. It’s insane to think about how much has happened over the past few months.

Change is inevitable and those who are most likely to accomplish great things are the ones who adapt with ease and grace. They do so by embracing the uncertain, and welcoming the discomfort. Saying ‘yes’ to propositions and opportunities that will undoubtedly prove to be challenging, but not impossible. Without obstacles, without resistance, without uncertainty we cannot expect to grow, to learn, to develop our abilities. One must view each scenario as a way to better themselves. One must utilize the space around them to expand and reach new dimensions.

A somewhat brief summary of what’s happened:

After deciding to drop 3 of the 4 classes I was taking I started to pick up more hours at the Savannah Room. Over the following couple of months I realized I didn’t like the work environment, or the people. I became apathetic and felt like I was wasting my potential. Most of all, I was tired of working in the food service industry with irregular hours. I left at the end of April/beginning of May. There was a period of time where I was unsure of what my next job would be, what my future would look like.

In the middle of May I went down to St. Simon’s Island with Hannah and jack. We stayed for about a week and it was refreshing to get away from everything. During this visit I matched with a guy named David on Tinder. I was bored and I wasn’t taking it seriously since I didn’t live in the area- nothing serious would happen, shit, probably nothing at all to be completely honest. But I was wrong.

We ended up talking every single day over the next two weeks or so. I really began to like him a lot… But I lived in Athens, and he lived in the Savannah area. Was this realistic? Perhaps..

I ended up driving four hours down to Richmond Hill to stay with him for a couple of days. I was so nervous and anxious- I didn’t know what to expect. As soon as I walked in the door and saw him face-to-face I realized I made the right choice. We connected instantly and I felt so comfortable with him.

I continued seeing David over the summer, driving back and forth from Athens to Richmond Hill. He helped me move in to my new 1BR apartment at the beginning of August and built me a bed frame. We became ‘official’ on July 18th. Since then, it’s felt more of like a ‘we’ vibe, not ‘me and you’.

From May-October I worked as a customer service representative at a custom t-shirt company. I genuinely enjoyed working there so much. Everyone was so nice and I loved helping people, even though it was frustrating at times. That job taught me a lot, but the most important thing I took away from it was that I love working with and helping people. I like solving problems. I’m good at it. I realized this is the career path I want to pursue. It is a profession I can thrive in.

In early summer I had an epiphany that I am not meant to return to school. That chapter of my life is over for good, and I’m at peace with that decision. It wasn’t until after days of feeling dread and anxiety that I finally understood school was one of the primary sources of my depression and stress. I let it go and I’m happy I did. I have no regrets.

On September 28th I had a seizure while I was at work. It was in response to my dosage being too high on one of the medications I was taking at the time. My supervisor called 911 and an ambulance took me to the hospital. Everything turned out to be fine, but it was a really scary experience. I feel like this year I’ve gone to the doctor so many times for various reasons. The waiting room almost feels like a second home.

In the state of GA one cannot legally drive for 6 months from having a seizure which means I won’t be able to get behind the wheel, legally, until March 28th. Losing my ability to drive put a strain on me and David’s relationship. I decided to quit my job and move down to Richmond Hill to be with him. That was about 2 and a half weeks ago.

Now, I am jobless and I don’t have a car. I’m actively looking for work but due to the circumstances I am fairly limited. Everything will work out in the end, but right now I feel a bit discouraged. One day at a time.

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