#and i’m terrified of hurting him bc she doesn’t deserve it

[callixton]

ya the key thing is that i do not experience romantic love. and that means that breaking up is the only thing i can do in good conscience when he clearly does but ooh. that conversations gonna hurt so fucking bad

[maybeimamuppet]

I LOST THE ASK IM SORRY ANON BUT HERE

REGINA

favorite thing about them

heheeeeeehoooo i’m a lesbian but honestly she has so much like depth to her in a way that’s not immediately obvious and it’s really interesting as a writer getting to explore that beyond canon

least favorite thing about them

i don’t like that i relate to her!!!! i don’t like the idea of being mean and she is and i’m entirely convinced she and i have the same personality disorder and i am terrified that i’m like her. some people have said it and i just hate that it might be true

but like as a character in and of herself it’s how she uses people for her own gain. that’s not cool boo

favorite line

“boo, you whore” from the movie

“that’s what i keep trying to explain to the president on twitter but he blocked me” from the show

i can’t remember enough of what she says in the new movie rn but i’ll find smth later i’m sure lol

brOTP

damian. she and damian both love taylor swift and they listen to every song together and fangirl together and also damian gets her into musicals. regina likes the dark gritty ones with good music like les mis and little shop and damian likes the classics (obvs)

OTP

post redemption arc i ship her with like every woman in this. like any combo of gretchen and karen, i’m an absolute SUCKER for cadina (like i’m literally on my knees begging for cadina fic prompts please), rejanis is. it has potential not my fav but i do partake from time to time.

but like aaron would just turn out bad nobody really likes shane or kevin and damian. is gay. so none of the men lol

nOTP

this woman is GAY so again any of the guys lol. also if it’s done wrong rejanis can be real icky and i don’t like that

random headcanon

she can juggle. cady is the only one who knows and regina will absolutely kill her if she lets it slip

unpopular opinion

she is a victim who made the wrong choices and not the monster a lot of people make her out to be. she is not the villain of the story she is the villain of her own life by fault of her own mind which is the fault of her upbringing and she is making the only choices she knows how which just so happen to hurt a lot of people. she absolutely can be redeemed and she deserves it. which is why the bus doesn’t just straight up kill her.

song i associate with them

i think i said this for janis but monster from frozen has very much internal regina vibes to me that she like is terrified of letting anyone else see. also i know it’s about something VERY DIFFERENT but all grown up from bare seems like it would really speak to her. and also just all of renee’s songs bc duh

favorite picture of them

it’s a gif and this is how i lost the post last time but uh

like. holy shit.

DAMIAN

favorite thing about them

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again but that boy drinks his loving janis sarkisian juice every morning as part of a balanced breakfast. he knows they’re each others person and i think he navigates their admittedly strange relationship really well. 

and also i love that this ~17 year old fat openly gay kid has SO MUCH confidence in himself. could he be overcompensating and actually have a lot internally that he doesn’t like about himself? yes absolutely . but the way he chooses to handle himself with such grace and confidence as he navigates such a complex web of social issues is really admirable to me and i don’t think he gets enough credit :))

least favorite thing about them

some of the stereotypes aren’t like super cool but like they had to come from somewhere so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

favorite line

damian is what got me into this show tbh i have so many

but i thiiiiiink it’s gotta be either “and they are more addictive than opioids and girl scout thin mints combined” (also hot take but i’ve been a girl scout for 18 years and thin mints SUCK)

OR

“did she just leave while i was actively caring about her? no. / she’s leaving! just like my DAD.”

honestly just like all of stop all of cautionary tale just him i love him yes

brOTP

besides the obvious answer of janis again i would say regina. but also he and gretchen get coffee at least once a week and bond over dances and choreography and whatnot and he and karen are joined at the hip whenever they’re together and you cannot tell me otherwise. and cady is basically his little sister

OTP

THEATRE BOY FROM THE NEW MOVIE OMGGGGG but also like. i don’t really know lol

i usually write him as being with aaron but that’s bc when i was writing like three months in i asked and all my (four) readers at the time said they wanted damiaaron it was not my first pick. but it has grown on me a lot and i think they’re super cute together

nOTP

i am terrified of the amount of romantic fic out there for him and janis?? like y’all ran face first into the point and hit ur heads so hard u still couldn’t see it huh

random headcanon

he kicked janis’ front teeth out in tap class when they were five and janis still has a small scar on her lip

unpopular opinion

i know i write about it a lot and stuff but making him trans feels really reductive of his personality sometimes. we need more trans rep obviously and i love people being able to take characters like him and feel seen but i question it with him in particular a lot. similar vibes to people who make matilda trans i just dk. lots of complicated feelings about it

also that he is the best goddamn character in the whole thing

song i associate with them

uhhhhhh for whatever reason 9 to 5 by dolly parton?? and jolene are the first two to pop into my head lol idk why

oh and also better work bitch by britney spears (i think??)

favorite picture of them

[0sincerelyella]

Joe Locke request!! This one is platonic but can you write from a fem/girl pov about a bad boyfriend getting mean and loud and angry (no physical violence) bc she forgot to order the right take away or something and the fem friend calls Joe crying with shouting in the background by accident when she’s trying to fix it and Joe comes to get her from the bad bf’s place and just comforts and reassures her.

He doesn’t deserve you -Joe Locke

Summary: y/n is in a bad situation, and joe will do anything to protect his best friend

Notes: as someone who just got out of a breakup and semi toxic relationship and didn’t have friends to lean on these platonic ones ARE SO HEALING TO ME. i hope you enjoy!!

warnings: yelling, mentions of violence, mentions of vomiting

she loved him. she loved him more than anything. and he loved her, that was all that mattered. that’s what she told herself everyday.

y/ns boyfriend Nate had anger issues. though he wasn’t a hurtful person, he didn’t want to hurt y/n, sometimes his anger over the smallest of things got the best of him.

on this particular day, his car keys was missing. He had woken up, ready to go out and have a good day, and he had misplaced his car keys. y/n however, was doing everything in her power to go about her day.

she knew if she spoke, or tried to help, or stepped on a creaky floor board he would start to yell at her because he wasn’t thinking straight. that was it, he just wasn’t thinking straight.

y/n stood in the bathroom, brushing her hair. She was mixing her business as things slammed and cuss words flew throughout the apartment. she had to help him, she couldn’t stand seeing him so angry, it hurt her.

“babe?” she asked quietly. He stopped everything he was doing to look at her, hoping she had found his keys. “uhm, you were pretty angry last night did you leave them in the car?” she was quiet with her answer. he didn’t even consider it

“what kind of idiot leaves their keys in the car?!” and the yelling began. “i was just trying to help there is no need to snap at me!” she said, frustrated with his behavior. “then don’t give me stupid answers!” she scoffed. which only then led to more yelling and slamming of objects. the apartment was a mess.

y/n stood in the living room as she watched him tear the house apart. “your so useless!” he screamed. she stepped back, her breathing became heavy. sure he’d gotten angry from time to time, but he’d never insult her “what?” she could see the instant regret on his face. he walked forward, outreaching his arm to her, to which she flinched.

“oh baby i’d never hit you” he promised. she shook her head, pointing towards the door as her heart sped up. “go..” heavy breathing “check your car.” he listened, running to the car. only moments later she heard the door slam as loud as possible, and profanities being screamed. he found his keys. just where y/n said they’d be

as he walked back into the apartment, his face was so sad. “i’m so so sorry y/n i didn’t-“

“your gonna be late for work” her breath was shaky and she was hyperventilating. nate nodded. “i’ll be back later, i’m so sorry, i love you” he knew now wasn’t the time for a kiss, so he walked out of the house.

mad soon as the door shut, y/n chucked her phone at the wall, falling infront of the couch. she sobbed hysterically, almost bringing herself to vomit.

she was not calming down. she felt her world caving in.

about ten minutes later, y/n heard a knock on the door. terrified that it was nate, she quickly whipped the tears and opened the front door

to her surprise it was joe. her bestfriend

“what are you doing here?” she asked, panicked.

“you called me, and all i heard was your crying. i came as soon as possible” he hugged her immediately. “no i’m fi-“

“no you arnt” he insisted. he forced his way into the apartment and stopped at the mess that was made for y/n to clean up. “oh he is gonna get what’s coming to him” joe said through gritted teeth.

“tell me what happened” he said, leading her to the couch. “and cry as much as you want” he said, hugging her.

so she did

she explained everything

how she was scared to marry him or commit to him without him hurting her some day on the future.

she explained how tired she was of being afraid and then getting apologies later

she has learned to hate apologies after hearing them as much as she did

joe held her as she cried, promising to protect her with all he had. “he doesn’t deserve you babe, no one does” she laughed “no one but you joe” she said.

she would be nowhere without her best friend

as a few hours go by, y/n and joe watch movies in the living room, not bothering to clean anything from the earlier out burst.

the door opened, and nate walked through the door. “baby i’m home!” he said. “i wanted to talk” he walked into the living room, only to be met with a sleeping y/n, laying her head on joes lap.

“you have some nerve coming back here” joe whispered. nate sighed, putting his keys on the counter. “i live here joe” “your lucky she didn’t kick you out. you treat her horribly.”

“i know i do, don’t you think i know that? i’m not trying to hurt her i can’t help it” he said, begging to pick some things off the floor.

“how can you not help being an absolute horrible boyfriend? you need therapy.” nate slammed his hand on the counter “you can’t tell me what i need! it’s none of your business” he yelled, y/n flinched.

“Y/n is my everything. she’s my best friend. and your hurting her!”

“what’s going on?” y/n woke up from her nap, and stood immediately “nate, hi i’m so sorry i didn’t clean” she scrambled to continue to clean the living room “no babe it’s okay” nate reached out to touch her and she flinched. “you don’t need to suck up to him” joe said, stepping in front of his best friend

the anger in nate’s face rose, and he grabbed joes arm. y/n screamed as nate tried to yank joe away. that was the final straw.

“no. we’re done get out” he pleaded and cried but y/n was done.

once nate was gone, joe sat once again on the couch with y/n in his lap, crying against his chest. “i love you so much y/n. he didn’t deserve you, he wasn’t good enough” she nodded, blowing her snot into his shirt.

“y/n!” he giggled, y/n laughed happily. “sorry that was icky”

“yes. that was incredibly icky”

[thehighpriestess1]

ESSAY ALERT: I’ve been doing some thinking about August (as usual) trying to predict how things would end, either happy or sad and wanted to share it with you!

I was wondering if Gojo had any memories of his mother. Jerry only mentions his dad and how horrible he was to him growing up so I’m assuming she was probably never in the picture. Y/N realizes that Gojo gives Keisuke his everything when he never had that for himself. I’m sure Jerry (I’d kill for him, he’s so sweet) was the closest thing he did end up having as a father, but the damage was already done. I mentioned Gojo’s mom because, Gojo has also probably never seen a happy marriage either growing up. He doesn’t know what a healthy relationship looks like so he’s constantly second guessing everything the moment something goes wrong. I love August Gojo to pieces but he’s done so much to Y/N, if this was my friend I’d tell her to RUN 😭 Gojo understands and is trying to show Y/N that things will be different but even during his inner monologues he knows that he’ll never truly be able to let her go.

TW: s*icide - I remember you said a while back in a message that, you actually had Gojo taking his life because Y/N ultimately decided to leave him during a previous draft. I’ve been trying to think of what would happen if something ends up happening to Y/N, either Yuri ends up hurting her bc I 100% believe she’s capable or doing whatever it takes to have Gojo, or maybe Y/N decides she actually can’t look past everything and she really does want to separate from Gojo. Would he let her go? Will he live the rest of his life trying to win her back? Will he be okay?

I thoroughly enjoyed these deep dives into Gojo’s past, we can see how much Gojo has struggled in his childhood and how these experiences have shaped him into the person he is today, for better or for worse. We can see just how scared and vulnerable Gojo actually is, through this whole Ice Prince persona he puts on in front of everyone. I know that they both have a LOT of trauma and I hope they get professional help for it or at least open up to them a bit about their pasts/worries. Y/N and Gojo are getting so much better at communicating with each other and with Y/N giving their relationship outside of coparenting a chance maybe things will actually get better! I love the domestic scenes with them because I feel like this is what Gojo and Y/N truly want. A happy family, no guns, no blood on their hands, no money problems, just pure simple domestic bliss. A glimpse into what they could’ve had for years now had Gojo went to the park years back.

It definitely breaks my heart realizing how paranoid Gojo gets and how vigilant he must be over Y/N. He’s probably terrified she’s gonna disappear again and now that he knows they have Keisuke together I can imagine his anxiety multiplies 100 times. I’m almost surprised he hasn’t put a tracker on her like he did Utahime, but he probably knows better than to do that.

I’m wondering why Gojo doesn’t tell Y/N what actually happened with Hiro 🤔 I assume that Gojo has a hard time talking about his upbringing with his father, but Y/N deserves to know the truth. She cared for Hiro and he was the only one on her side in the earliest parts of August when she was surrounded by people who wished her harm. She deserves the closure and I hope she gets that!

I truly wonder how things will end and I worry that Yuri will do massive damage to Y/N, or Jerry because I feel like Jerry would lay his life on the line for the people he cares about and I want him to be okay 😭 I just know something is gonna happen because it wouldn’t be August if it didn’t contain any angst 🤭

I know this is the calm before the storm, I just hope everyone makes it out okay 🥹 I’m sorry for rambling, I really hope this all made sense. Hope you’re doing well and I’m super excited to read the finale when it comes out 🥰

I love a good essay ask!

Gojo had never seen his mom and you'll know why in the next part so I won't get too much into it. But you're right he has never seen a healthy relationship in his life (romantic or otherwise). He has always gotten what he wanted and just assumed that the world revolved around him. That was until he met y/n who changed his perspective completely. He realised that money and power are not the only things that matter in life. But even while dating her the ideology instilled in him by his father stayed in the corners of his mind and that's why he ultimately chose power over love when he got engaged to Utahime.

But what a mistake that was. He realised that no amount of power gave him the peaceful sleep he got when he was with y/n and money could not buy forgiveness and acceptance of a person.

If anything were to happen to y/n or Keisuke Gojo will have a complete mental breakdown. He would go clinically insane and would prefer to end it all rather than live in the nightmare. The guilt will consume him and he won't ever get out of it. He would destroy everything and everyone in his path.

He is still scared to leave y/n alone. Even though there is no threat right now. He questions everything he does, even if it's a good thing. The incident had left him damaged. He was in therapy but it didn't fix the hurt in his heart. According to him only y/n can fix it. The more acceptance he gets from her the more he heals.

About Hiro.... we'll see in the next part. Some difficult conversations are bound to happen for both of them to move to the next stage of a happy life. Lots of domestic bliss is coming in the next part but also with angst.

The chapter is so long (20k words and counting) I'm worried I'll have to break it into two parts. Should I?

[inact-ice]

Episode 10!!!!!

I’m almost doooooone

- aw Abby

- she’s leaving soon right, noooo

- bucks holding Abby so gently like my queen deserves

- Abby girl you better be taking a leave of absence rn to heal

- yeah I figured cause the British accent was so fake sounding

- ok bobby and Athena hintsss

- ABBY WAS IN THE OLYMPICS?!! AND NOBODY TOLD MEEEE. Ugh Abigail Clark you can do no wrong

- Bobbert, who are you getting all cute for sir??? Oh dear. Someone take this camera away from him. Chimney he’s watching porn at WORK!

- hen don’t project your cheating nonsense onto this please

- OMG THE CATFISH EPISODE! Oh yeah everyone just thought he was cheating, omg these buncha HATERS! Nobody would ever cheat on Abby bc she is perfect

- did black people write this? Why would May get twists when her hairs silk pressed? Anyways

- hello mean gay husband, your eyes are such a light brown wow.

- why are these people so chill about cheating. Hen you don’t need to have an existential crisis, just apologize and admit you did something bad

- ABBY! How are you doing girl? Oh she’s gonna travel lots to kinda fulfill her mom’s dream too? SHES BACK TO WORK- Abigail is that healthy?

- this is such a terrifying situation fr like he coulda gotten dissected! This guys’ a freak… but he’s kinda cute

- hi Karen, I’m tired of this too girl. “I love you biiiiitch, I ain’t never gon stop loving you biiitch” ass confrontation

- ABBY! Omg these main character situations are stressing my girl OUT, poor girl. Oh and these women need to stop hurting buck, like I get why but Jesus

- oh fuckkk, being ripped in half is crazy. Oh shitttttt, yeah this is a tough one. The way Bobby’s crawling is so much, he like collapsed in on himself

- ok Athena and bobby moment! OK ATHENA AND BOBBY MOMENT???

- Ayo rebar, bucks so mad wow valid. Chimney is being kind of a jerk, why’s everyone in this house so cool w/ cheating????

- does buck not know what an ip address is

- BOBBY TOOK ATHENA TO CHURCH FOR THE FIRSY DATE??? LITERALLY AND NOT EUPHAMISTICALLY?? Is he well? Not Athena being into this shit puh LEASE

- buck close your damn mouth there are MAGGOTS in the windows. Is buck gonna fight this coroner? Oh ok. Gross. Yeah fuck you coroner guy

- chimney I understand you on a spiritual level

- Abby I understand if this was all too much and you need to break up with buck bc you’d be so valid. Aw man. WAIT SHES LEAVING YES DUBLIN

- I’m realizing that the amount I like Abby might be making me dislike buck a little bit lmao, like that’s MY girlfriend sir

- Abby I will mourn your time on this show

- you know abby gets credit for buck 2.0 or whatever, but buck helped Abby change for the better in a lot of ways too. I don’t think she would have learned to prioritizeherself like this without him

- BOBBY AND ATHENA DATE YIPPEE

- Abby please don’t narrate us out worth Florence and the machine playing rn

- Karen… well I know this doesn’t affect anything again ever so whatever

- so glad chimneys gonna get railed

- ABBY DONT GO, TAKE ME WITH YOU!! WHERES THE ABBY TRAVELLING CRIMFIGHTING SUPERHERO SPIN-OFF! NO GOD WHY DONT TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME WHYYY TAKE BUCK INSTEAD

- can’t even be happy about the bobby and Athena date because I’m crying so hard.

- that was a lie, Athena you look HOT! Bobby, wear tighter pants

- ABBY NOOO, DONT PLAY THE LINE GOING OFF NOOOO and we won’t see her ever again, this city can’t survive without Batman

This episode was fine, but they should’ve focused more on Abby, I think they were trying to do a gentle perspective switch to be more in Bucks pov to really prepare us for her leaving, but i needed to see more of my queen to prepare for her leaving. She didn’t even say bye to Athena! Ig it was a fine conclusion for the first season tho, I’ll collect all my thoughts on this season later after I finish mourning

[ros-aline]

my therapist mentioned how this guy I’m talking to is like definitely showing signs of abuse & manipulation and if it wasn’t online she would be scared for my safety :( part of me keeps thinking “oh but he’s a good guy it’s just when he drinks” as if that hasn’t been the story of my fucking life from the start. here I am replaying the same situation over and over again. I feel like I’m not as stuck in it as I was a few weeks ago but there’s still a hold he has over me, it’s like I need I know this isn’t good I know I deserve better and I’m choosing not to cut this guy off . soo then I feel guilty like I’m a bad person etc etc and then lose my sense of self and then can only depend on how others see me or feel about me to dictate how I feel about myself . It’s interesting because this is the first time I feel like I’m understanding and seeing this cycle playing out in the moment so I’m trying to take it as a learning moment vs beating myself up about it. unfortunately being self aware doesn’t fix trauma and I tell this to my clients every single day so I might as well try to believe it for myself, I know I’m putting myself in a situation where I’m likely to get hurt AND I’m going to do what I can to keep myself safe and set boundaries and keep talking about it to my therapist because that feels actually manageable and it’s ok if I can’t let go yet, I know I’ll get there. I don’t feel as stuck to him anymore I think partly bc I met his almost gf and talked to her more and she’s super sweet and loves him so I’m taking a step back from that aspect of things. I’d still like to be his friend but I think that’s the part of me that is terrified of the idea of just cutting things off completely it’s like I will take crumbs if I can have it bc it feels better than nothing (seemingly, ik that’s not true) I have to keep grounding myself and reminding myself of the good and important parts of my life outside of this guy/relationship. It’s crazy how quick this happened too like I think it’s been a month maybe?? I got swept up so fast and I felt it I thought I was going crazy. I’m gonna keep trying to be nice to myself I suppose

[beardedjoel]

oh my god I wanna scream. What in the actual fuck!!!!!!

Talk about overreaction Joel?? I knew he was gonna do this and I’m still so mad. He’s so terrified of his feelings, he just ruins it before anything could ever hurt him. He’s gonna have some making up to do eventually. God forbid someone actively chooses you Joel? AAAAH you’re an idiot!!

And then being like “I haven’t heard a peep from you and then you call me a million times” like she’s supposed to run after you??? After you left?? And the way you’re hurting her?? She literally told him she loves him and he just fukcing left 😭😭😭

I wish the fuckboy guy was better so she at least had a good night as a fuck you to Joel lol

Like honestly, right now he doesn’t even deserve her at all?? I wish she would just actually tell him off, like be mad and get your anger out!!!

I hope this isn’t rude but please update soon again because my heart is a bit broken right now 🥺🥺 I love this story 🥺🥺

wheeeew yeah..... this chapter was a doozy for sure (understatement), it took me ages to write everything bc it was so hard to have joel fall off so far from where i'd had him as pretty much this perfect boyfriend so far! i'm so sorry it broke your heart, i know it was a wild ride but i definitely have so much coming for these two so don't worry. honestly i'm just so thankful you're so invested in my story!!! 🥺

[rexxdjarin]

one of the topics I’m most excited to delve more into in unwritten and for Mari’s character specifically is abandonment. Every person Mari has ever loved or cared about in her life has left her in one way or another. Whether by tragic death at far too early an age (her parents) or any potential romantic partners that she clings to to feel like she has someone out there for her, Mari has been left by everyone.

She can try to go about her life. She takes care of herself. She is strong and proud and demanding and fiery. But deep down that absolutely crippling fear of being left again will never go away. The closer she gets to someone the stronger the weight of this fear gets, especially in her relationship with Rex.

So much of this comes directly from my own lived experience. The struggle I have with getting people I’m interested in to stay is something I’ve been literally burdened with my entire life. Burdened is a strong word and I’m using it because it is a tremendously heavy and deeply rooted thing to carry around with you. I have spent probably hundreds of nights in dark closets or on bathroom floors or under bedsheets sobbing and choking on tears from something as simple as not getting responded to the way I’m used to or as quickly as I notice is common in a person I’m interested in (platonically or romantically). The ghosts of the people and the potential life with you they walked away with will haunt you for the rest of your life. The questions you ask yourself to make sense of it are things I don’t want to vocalize or type or say out loud because they are brutally and immensely painful and scary thoughts that lead down dark paths I know are right around the corner to wander down if I’m not careful.

I wanted this in Mari’s story. I want to talk about this because I don’t see it being talked about enough especially in romantic and non-toxic contexts. Mari is outwardly strong, she’s every clone’s, every man’s dream, but she is deeply terrified that anyone she cares about will leave her alone all over again. And Rex, being the man who does not quit, whose unending loyalty is quite literally legendary, is just the perfect man to heal with. Not only can we as readers who love him so much trust him with everything (bc lol fictional men can’t leave or hurt you) but Mari can too. Because no matter what, even if it’s hard, Rex doesn’t walk away from anything. Not without a fight. Mari needs and deserves someone like that. And so do I.

[eclipsecrowned]

reposting from the old blog. not reblogging bc of the user who sent in the initial ask, so i’m rephrasing this from a meme response to a standalone meta on hel, mental health, and the ability to reach out for help.

Hel’s mental health is NOT GREAT. Her life is pretty much a series of distractions from her hopeless situation and the toll it takes on her health, physically and mentally. She is a carefully crafted facade that keeps all her varying issues buried so deeply they cannot possibly surface and fuck her over.

Her entire being is a creature of composure that she grew behind closed doors to serve others first and her own negativity never. And that’s a nightmare existence, especially because whenever the mask starts to crack, she either further isolates or turns to alcohol. Sometimes a combination of both. She is on record saying that alcohol makes the world more tolerable, which is just the tip of the iceberg.

She would have to admit to having internal problems in order to be diagnosed, so no, she is not presently diagnosed with anything. That said, she’s struggling when others aren’t looking.

Depression is a major issue, exacerbated by her dour and dim surroundings, which she can find some relief from in simply leaving her realm for a time. Even then, she is bound to Helheim, and can never truly be free of it. It also tends to surface whenever she has a bad physical flare up, when her nerves start to fray or she is confined to bed.

Anxiety is another major issue with her, though one she carefully covers. You see this most often in how she approaches those who try to get close to her, terrified of being seen for what she is, terrified of not being good enough, and going out of her head with worry that she never truly be able to hold on to anyone, or that people will be hurt for their association with her.

PTSD is the real silent killer here, and her trauma is always hanging over her. It colors every relationship she reaches friendship or beyond. She lives in constant fear that somehow, she will be made to lose again. Someone will be hurt because of her. Someone will leave her, whether willingly or by choice. She’s never going to get out from under the fate of her family, especially when avenging that trauma is stated to be the purpose her entire life is working towards. PTSD feeds into pretty much every other struggle she has mentally. It’s the undercurrent that tugs at every other facet of her mental health, even if it’s not outwardly displaying as such.

Depersonalization and derealization can serve to break her as well, this feeling that she is detached from this life she was forced to lead, or feeling that none of it is real. She is alive among the dead. She is in a place with its own logic and laws. And when her stress reaches its boiling point, her mind simply lets her disconnect to cope. This is happening to someone else, and she is merely the audience. This is happening to her, but she is only an actor on a stage, and soon she will be led back to the real world once the play is done.

Hel projects, and she projects hard. She buries her self-loathing such that she doesn’t present weakness, but she’s very eager to display it in what she thinks of others. Others, she thinks, must see her as she won’t admit she sees herself. You see this especially with her parents – She thinks Angrboda must be disappointed in her, this daughter of a she-wolf who allowed herself to be tamed by the work of the Aesir. She is sure that Loki should hate for all the years she spent doubting him under Odin’s influence. She hates herself, and her weaknesses, and she pushes it upon those that love her. She can’t grasp their unconditional love, cannot see how she deserves it, so she flips it to her own personal narrative of how she should be perceived by those she thinks she failed.

Sublimation is taken to the point of martyrdom for Hel. She does not get angry, she gets clever. She does not get upset, she removes herself from the situation. While these are good coping mechanisms, Hel uses it to the point of denying any negative feelings whatsoever. She does not express anger or sorrow for her own circumstances. She thinks this was the downfall of Sigyn’s sons, and so she has stifled it so tightly that the feelings cannot even be understood any longer. And that is unhealthy, no matter what she might use as alternatives. Anger and sadness are natural emotions, and she refuses to see them as anything but a way to surrender control.

At this point, anything is better than Hel’s grin and bear it attitude. Therapy would be an absolute miracle for someone like her, but that would mean admitting there is a problem and letting someone else in – something her various issues have barred her from doing for so long.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

i think i like the four swords manga so much bc there is some just. very up my alley character and ship archetypes in there, but also the message itself and emotional beats hit surprisingly hard?

(long analysis below)

i like the idea of this character who is so ATTACHED to the idea of being an outsider and harming others, because he believes that he will never belong in the light with them. over the course of the manga, shadow link develops genuine fondness for vio, shows vulnerability through that fondness, and gets betrayed. no matter how real the feelings were between them, vio couldn't bear to hurt his friends or the world. it devastates shadow link; really gets to him. i wonder if he even knew he could have these feelings, falling for the very ruse he attempted to use on vio to get him on his side. while shadow is very ridiculous and theatrical in general, it doesn't seem fake when he expresses that he's glad vio has joined him. it also seems very real when he breaks down after the betrayal.

zelda choosing to be kind to shadow rather than mock him for being foolish is like the final straw that shatters his world view. she asks if he really thinks the light will hurt him, and challenges the notion that he isn't a hero deep down. she's not making excuses for him or telling him who to be; she's naming his deepest insecurities loud and clear and telling him it's okay to be scared. she's not rubbing salt in the wound of vio's rejection, but instead suggesting that shadow could find belonging with others if he took a leap of faith and tried to be their friend without an ulterior motive. shadow gets so giddy about the idea of doing havoc with vio, and it's like buddy, you're experiencing happiness because you like vio, not because you like being evil. i think deep down, we all just want to find Our People. and i can't stand to be cynical enough to suggest that we all don't have at least someone out there for us. it's just harder for some people to belong than others, as is the case with shadow.

shadow link is messed up and destructive to the people around him, unable to even imagine belonging in the light so he settles for chaos in darkness--but he submits, by the end of the comic, to the terrifying truth that he is deserving of love and capable of loving. i say terrifying because in an allegorical sense, it's kind of the equivalent of saying "i'm gay/mentally ill--i can't change that the world is harder for me, and it will be harder to find people who understand me, but i'm doing a disservice to myself and anyone i could hypothetically love by not trying to be my best self." it's a great and fairly uncommon message, especially for teenagers and young people in general.

i mean dude, talk about a bizarre but weirdly resonant reflection of the "gay teenager developing feelings for their best friend" experience. shadow link sets out to manipulate vio at first by appealing to his ego, no personal stakes in the game, but almost IMMEDIATELY falls DOWN BAD for this guy and becomes incredibly emotionally vulnerable around him. shadow link is genuinely LIVING for the time he gets to spend with vio, being as chaotic and theatrical and unrestrained as he pleases. he really believe that vio sees him, and likes him for who he is (which for the record i think is true, but vio also cares about his friends and the fate of the world, things that hold no meaning to shadow).

vio betrays shadow and it genuinely hurts, and that's kind of incredible for a short comic with a lot of goofy moments. and then shadow's resolution is vindicating too, he has agency in the choices he makes, and he does the right thing because he finally believes he doesn't need to remain in the darkness. he disguises himself to help the four because he knows they don't trust his face, really demonstrating the selfless desire to end all the magic shit that put him and the others in archetypical dark/light boxes. shadow link changes a lot in a short period, but the fact that to the end he believes that he still isn't like the others is negated by them saying he's part of "the body" and their friend. his "death" is very simply put in the text--"when a shadow turns to light, it disappears." it's not like a real death. it's a permanent and meaningful statement on how much shadow has changed, and found belonging and acceptance. if shadow's physical form came from feelings of spite and resentment, it makes sense that it no longer needed to exist.

and to TOP IT OFF, he does "end up" with vio and the others, if we're viewing The Full Link as an allegorical friend group or community. he's not quite as homogenous as they are, but rather serves as a shadow of the four. i love the panel where he's giving a thumbs-up from link's shadow so much. that's so simple and obvious, but honestly poetic. because like, in some ways you're never going to be just like everyone else. finding friends who are also gay or mentally ill doesn't make you any less of who you specifically are, and in at least some ways your friends and loved ones are always going to be different from you. i don't like it when the ultimate takeaway from a story is "once you live happily ever after, the darkness will be all gone," because hello??? some things never go away, and the darkness has, for better or for worse, made you who you are! qualities i see in shadow link are sardonic humor, unusual expressiveness, and a deep sense of caring towards His People/Person. those are fueled partially, but not entirely, by his not-great circumstances and deepest fears... but they're also where he shines.

you can be different from other people without resigning yourself to an lonely and unhappy life. coming out doesn't make you any less gay; seeking treatment doesn't magically cure mental illness; but acknowledging yourself for who you are is life-changing liberation, and necessary in the pursuit of happiness. these are huge and scary steps that especially young people are struggle to take, settling for resentment over the possibility of rejection. shadow link takes a chance and finds belonging, but still maintains the parts of himself that give him such a distinct personality. he is accepted for who he is, and at the end of the day who he is is not dark force whose sole purpose is to ruin lives, but just a strange gay-ass little dude who's a little bit extra but good at heart. and vio, as well as the others, appreciate that wholeheartedly. at the end of the day, the Whole Link just isn't the Whole Link without his shadow.

i don't know man, it's always special to me when an angsty character is written not as a joke, but as an opportunity to give people hope. even in the most obscure of places, even in ways that i can analyze endlessly but mean nothing to the average person. maybe none of this was the authors' intention. even if the manga was just, like, a shallow implementation of tropes and characteristics i'm a SUCKER for, i'd still love it to bits.

but i do see something a little deeper here, i can't help it. clearly the story has resonated with a small but dedicated group of fans, many of whom read the manga as kids or teens. i'm... honestly a little jealous of that. it's the kind of story i needed, and the kind of story i wish to tell. this series is truly a gift that keeps on giving.

[lariskapargitay]

​I know they played Pepa shocking her kids with lighting for laughs but there’s no way she didn’t feel horrible when it happened. And I picture her shocking someone as not just her getting started but her losing her temper, getting angry, lashing out (like all parents do) so I wrote a little mini fic about the first time she shocked Dolores and how bad she would feel bc who doesn’t need feels on a Sunday night?

“Pepa?”

Low thunder rolled and a stormcloud drenched her as she sat with her back to the wall, head bowed, legs pulled up to her chest. Félix shut the door behind him and kneeled down in front of her. She ignored him. She ignored his gentle hand on her shoulder, his soothing voice calling her ‘Pepi’, she ignored everything but her own feelings of guilt wrecking her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I’m so sorry.”

Pepa hadn’t meant to hurt her. She hadn’t meant to hurt her baby, it was an accident.

Dolores wouldn't stop screaming and crying, clutching Pepa’s skirt, making a mess, refusing to listen, throwing a tantrum like all small children were apt to do. Pepa hadn’t meant to lose her temper, she hadn’t meant to bring the lightning when she yelled at Dolores to just stop for two seconds so she could hear herself think.

The scream Dolores let out as the lightning struck her and the look of horrified shock as she stood frozen before she began to scream and cry for Félix was bad. Her refusing to come near Pepa when she tried to hug her and apologize, the fear in her big brown eyes as she clung to her father was even worse.

“She’s fine,” Félix whispered, burying his hand in her hair, as though he could hear her thoughts. “Mi vida, she’s okay. She isn’t hurt. She didn’t even need Julieta.”

The thunder rolled again in time. “I hurt our little girl.” Her voice trembled and another sob ripped past her lips. “Four years old and I hurt her… How can you even stand to look at me?”

Felix immediately wrapped her in his arms, stroking her hair. Even though she knew she didn’t deserve it Pepa allowed it to comfort her, to help soothe the horrid emotions she was feeling right now. “Because I know that you love our daughter, and that this was just an accident. You love Dolores. You would never hurt her intentionally. I know you.” He kissed her on her cheek. “You are an amazing mamí.” And then the other. “You are the best mother that girl could ask for.” Her forehead was next. “I know you didn’t mean it.” And finally her lips. “I love you. She loves you.”

Pepa shook her head. “She’s terrified of me. Felix, you saw her face.” More tears and rain came down. “Dolores hates me. And what’s more is I don’t blame her.”

Felix held her tighter. “She does not hate you, mi amore. She was just scared, that's all.”

Her chin wobbled dangerously. “No child should be afraid of their mother.”

Felix finally was able to realize no words or hugs or kisses would make her feel better, and instead just held her tight and let her rain soak through the both of them. Until a tiny little voice called out from behind the bedroom door.

“Mamí?”

Pepa instantly perked up, wiping her eyes only to have more tears and rain replace them. “Dolores? Baby, you can come in.”

The door opened a sliver and her shy little quiet niña popped her head in. She took a step inside and then another, holding her hands close to her chest. “Are you still mad at me?” Dolores asked. It took everything in Pepa not to start sobbing again.

“No! No, Mija, never! Come here.” Pepa opened her arms and when Dolores ran to her and hugged her tight, never before had her clouds been wiped away so fast with a rainbow to take its place.

She kissed the top of her head, running her hand through her daughter’s thick beautiful curls. “Are you mad at me?”

Dolores shook her head, resting her head on Pepas chest and playing with the end of her mothers braid. “I’m sorry I was naughty.”

“And I’m sorry for losing my temper. I will try my best not to ever do that again, okay?” Dolores nodded and snuggled closer. “You know I love you, right?”

“How much?”

“More than anything.”

A playful little smile crept up her daughter's lips, and Pepas' sun got brighter. “More than coffee?”

“Much more than coffee.”

“More than tres leches?”

“Oh WAY more than tres leches.”

“More than sunshine?”

“A thousand times more!” Pepa declared, giving her a small tickle, her daughter's laughter filling the room with rainbows.

Pepa kissed the top of her head before she hugged her again. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, Mamí.”

“Good. You wanna stay in here and cuddle a bit or do you wanna go play with your prima?”

“I’ll go play.”

With one final kiss Pepa sent her on her way, the light of the rainbows reflecting off the yellow dress she wore.

[miraculous-shitposting-jpg]

Chat Blanc is probably one of the most disturbing episodes in all of MLB.

Let me preface this by saying disturbing doesn’t inherently mean bad. In fact, Chat Blanc is probably my favorite episode aside from Ephemeral.

Chat Blanc was exploited by his own father, who purposely traumatized him, and used Chat/Adrien’s pain against him.

Chat Blanc has the highest body count of any other Akumatized victim. He obliterated every single Parisian.

Nothing gives me more chills than this scene right here though

I just… wow. His facial expression, his zero hesitation to use his power and throw Mari off the clifff. He literally submerged the entirety of Paris out of grief. He has to be one of the MOST terrifying villains

Not to mention, jumping back a bit, let’s visit this scene in the very start.

This is the one that broke me. He was by himself for months. His only companion being the destruction that he caused, and his broken heart.

Now I know that people who are Akumatized aren’t really “themselves” but I fully believe that Chat Blanc wasn’t like other Akuma victims. Considering the person who was controlling him died, I think that he has a lot more free will than any other victims.

However, he’s pretty much insane at this point, but yet when Marinette, Ladybug, the love of his life comes out of a portal from the past, he still asks her to save him. Granted, his idea of “saving” is a little skewed. He even tells Mari/Ladybug that he didn’t mean to hurt everyone, and we even see him taking the cataclysm which DOES lead to the destruction of Paris. Even being Akumatized, he still tried not to bring harm to anyone but himself (Fu chose well)

It’s the episode that made me realize that neither Marinette not Adrien can truly be together until Hawk Moth is fully defeated, or isn’t a threat anymore. Or if they are, they can only be together as half of themselves. Never revealing either one identity or the other.

That little thought of mine was further cemented in Ephemeral. Because no matter what happens or how careful they are, Gabriel/AssMoth always ends up finding out, and Adrien ends up being hurt. I think this is something that Marinette realized with Chat Blanc, since she has no memory of what happened during Ephemeral.

Anyway, I’m sorry if this doesn’t make a ton of sense, I just wanted more Chat Blanc content on this app bc he literally deserves the world and someone PLS go hug him 🥺

[i-lovethatforme]

Happy Birthday to our favorite boy Peter Parker! I was wondering if you could write something small for it if you fancy? Fluffy or angsty whatever you prefer! Thank you if you do it! And love you if you don't!

happy birthday to our sad boy peterrrrrrr! bc that's what he is in this drabble so sorry xxxxxxxxxxxxxx love you!

“Hey, MJ,” Peter says, frantic as anything as he swings over the roof's edge. “God, today has been manic! I saved a cat from a tree and took a photo for you, naturally. And I stopped those jewellery thieves that have been in the news, you know the ones with the creepy masks and I told them such a good joke you would have laughed so hard, Em. And then I went to Delmar’s to get my sandwich - smushed flat of course, and I had to stop a bus that’s brakes had stopped! I was almost late to come to see you.”

He slips his backpack off and drops it to the ground, letting out a deep breath as he looks at the empty rooftop in front of him.��

“I shouldn’t really be here,” Peter says, but he sits down on the roof. It’s a little unclean but he loves the view so he doesn’t mind. 

He looks up at the billboard with the photo of his ex girlfriends face on it. She’s amazing - he always knew she would be. And though it hurts to see her everytime he swings around a corner, at least it means he can keep up to date with her from the sidelines. Without knowing anything personal. Without having to stalk her instagram account so he feels a little less like a creepy loser.

Peter doesn’t regret his decision to not tell her and Ned everything because at least they’re safe. At least they’re happy and they’re not spending their early mornings stitching up his chest because he didn’t dodge the knife in time. At least they don’t worry when he gets his second eviction notice through the door and they realise he’s one bad photo of Spider-Man away from sleeping in the dumpster again. 

Peter usually does a pretty decent job of pretending he’s fine. He helps the people of New York and he sleeps at least forty five minutes a night and he doesn’t break down in the shower every other day. 

But today, he lets himself think about her. About what she’s doing and if she’s happy and if everything would just be a little bit easier if he told her. 

And then he remembers her face as she fell from the scaffolding and how he wasn’t there to reach her. 

So he doesn’t tell her. But he does come to see her on his birthday. 

“I know the Bugle are having a field day with trying to figure something out about me and I’m putting you in danger just by being here but I - God, MJ. I miss you,” he sighs, rubbing his hand over his face. 

“That’s borderline insane right? You have no idea who I am and my heart is still yours. You wouldn’t want it even if you knew me now because I can’t afford to keep the electricity on and I practically live off instant noodles and would never deserve you in a trillion years, but it’s yours away. I’m a little nervous, Em, that it might be yours forever.”

He crosses his legs with a sigh and pulls his sandwich out of his bag. He doesn’t really have the money to spend five dollars on one meal but he figures it okay - just for today. Besides, Mr Delmar remembered his order for the first time today and he’s only been there a handful of times since everyone forgot who he was three years ago. 

But today he forgets about all of that and he tells MJ that he got his GED in the mail and that he feels like a bit of a loser for talking to a photo of her in the middle of the night. He tells her he saw May earlier and that he’s volunteering at FEAST tomorrow and he'll pretend not to notice when someone slips food in his bag. He tells her his neighbour is nosey as anything but also the only person that knows his name. He tells her she wants to set him up with her niece but he’s terrified of letting anyone in - of letting them close because he couldn’t do that with her. 

He asks her if she still has the reminder to draw a birthday card set for August fifth. He asks her if she ever thought about what it was for. He asks her if she misses him as much as he misses her. He asks her if she thinks maybe he’s just a little insane from being so alone. He tells her this is the last year - he won’t be back next time. 

“Someone I stopped from robbing a bank told me I should go to therapy the other day and it’s like sir - I’m poor,” he laughs, a little wet. A little to himself. A little to her.  It’s sad really, that the only happiness he’s had today has been when he’s talking to his favourite girls. 

May would be so mad if she saw him mopping around with a half crushed cupcake and a smushed sandwich but there’s not all that much she can do about it - so Peter figures it’s fine for this year. He’ll be better next time. 

So he sits and he ignores the sirens for five minutes and he eats. It’s the best meal and company he’s had since last year. But the sirens don’t stop for long and MJ isn’t really here at all. Peter Parker doesn’t exist. But Spider-Mand does, and he’s needed. 

“Okay,” he sighs, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth and yanking his mask over his chin. He grabs his rubbish, shoving it to the bottom of his backpack. His knees click as he stands up and he wonders, not for the first time, what it would be like to go home early. But the thought leaves as quick as it comes. 

He looks up at her once more, the smile on her face not for him but it’s beautiful all the same. 

“I’ll see you around, MJ.”

[quixotin]

hi i come bearing humanitarian relief from optygami

so like, yikes huh?

I didn't expect all the angst and that last scene absolutely DESTROYED me in the worst possible way. Anywhoo, I was so unwell that I dreamt a follow-up. This is a new level of brainrot. So, without further ado welcoome to another edition of

bullet point fics that i'll probably never write but I need to get out of my system: post-Optygami edition

After Optygami, Chat pretends he's ok but he's actually quite sad that Ladybug didn't need him to defeat the Akuma. Even more so, that instead of going for him, she went for Rena and Carapace.

lol Milk Bar scene 2.0.

He tries to hide it, but unlike other things that make him sad like oh idk, his entire family life, this is new. And he can't hide it because Ladybug was the one person that never failed to make him feel needed and wanted.

So, he's at school and he's looking sad and Marinette notices. She kicks into Supporting Friend Mode the way she's done with Zoé, Juleka etc. and asks him what's wrong. Adrien at first doesn't want to say, but Marinette gives her one of her Motivational Speeches™️ and convinces him.

Adrien says that it's hard to explain, but he feels like someone really loves is pushing him to the side and he feels like he is not needed anywhere.

Marinette will very much Not Have That

So she starts telling him all the good things she sees in him and how everyone, especially her, is lucky to have him around. And girl ain't even blushing or stuttering.

"Adrien you're always so kind and compassionate to everyone, you always make time for us even though your Father is so strict with you. You're always willing to give everyone the benefit of doubt, even when they don't deserve it. You're a great friend"

Adrien high key is tearing up btw

And my boy is so starved for affection that he's just. He falls for her immediately??? He never realized Marinette saw him like that??

He feels so acknowledged???????

also Nino sees and he reassures him as well.

"Whoever this friend is can go take a hike if they don't value you, dude. smh I'll throw hands for you."

appreciate the i r o n y

THEN...

Alya figures out Adrien is Chat Noir and she has that oh no moment. Without telling Mari why, she is ADAMANT that she tells Chat immediately about everything that has been going on with the guardianship.

"Trust me Marinette. Just trust me. You NEED to tell Chat about these things."

Marinette confesses she had not told him because she knows he's going to be very angry at her that she relied on someone else in her hour of need and she's scared she might lose him because lesser things have made him doubt himself to the point of returning the ring.

"Alya you don't understand," she says crying. "I know him. I know this is is going to hurt him so much."

Alya, out of curiosity, asks why she came to her and not Chat when things got too heavy and Marinette explains the incident in Chat Blanc and how absolutely scared to the bone she is that it might happen again. Not because she wouldn't be able to fix it, but because she couldn't bear seeing Chat being hurt like that again.

Eventually Marinette gathers the courage to tell Chat Noir and of course he's sad, heartbroken, angry and no matter how much Ladybug tries to apologize or reassure him that she trusts him, he simply can't.

Chat says he understands that she needed to lean on someone and it's her right to choose who that is.

"Don't worry m'lady, I understand. But... I need some time off. After all, something tells me you'll make do even if i'm not there."

BIG OUCH 😃

Marinette is devastated and recognizes her mistake and understands she is in no position to ask Chat to be there but that doesn't help the fact she's absolutely heartbroken.

As a civilian, Adrien notices Marinette is sad and talks to her. Mari cries bc she says she made a terrible mistake and she managed to really hurt one of the friends she loves the most and is scared she lost them for good.

Adrien consoles her and tells her she did the right thing by coming clean to them, and that she should have faith in her friend bc "friends fight sometimes Mari, it's normal, right? They will come around. You were honest with them, and that's what matters. They'll appreciate it eventually."

"Besides, e-even if they don't... I-i'll always be here for you"

"And if they don't, I'll personally go and punch your friend in the face"

aaaahhhh adrinette fluff.

And so, while ladynoir is crumbling to pieces, adrinette is like, VERY close to becoming canon but bc of what happened in ladynoir they refrain from showing their romantic feelings but are like, "No way I'm making the same mistakes again" so they become each other's closest confident (sans the whole Miraculous thing of course)

Adrien starts telling Mari about "this friend" and the problems in his family. Marinette start tellings him about "these responsibilities" and "this friend I have" and they unintentionally coach the other through how to proceed to heal the ladynoir partnership.

Simultaneously, Adrien's help lets Marinette understand how very much she loves Chat and him taking the break from Ladybug's company and replacing it with Marinette, lets him know how head over heels he had been for her all this time = tada! reverse love square.

They become super, super close friends. Like deadass ppl think they're dating (but what else is new smh)

"Ha ha, no. We're Just Very Good Friends™️" *they say as they're literally holding hands or snuggling on a bench*

Eventually Chat Noir comes out of his little break and Ladybug and him meet up to talk and it's like, an ugly crying sobfest ahaha :)

LB apologizes again and begs him to forgive her, she promises she'll do better and she'll show him how much she need him and--

"M'lady, stop. I already forgave you. It's all water under the bridge so--

"No! No it's not, because I can't believe I made you think you're dispensible. Chat Noir you're my partner and you'll always be my partner and I treated you like you weren't but I just... I couldn't tell you, Chaton. I couldn't--"

"But why? What couldn't you tell me, m'lady?"

LB breaks down and explains the Chat Blanc incident to him

"I was so scared. I was so afraid for you and so terrified that I wouldn't be able to bring you back. I'd never be able to forgive myself if one day I cannot bring you back, Chat. I want to know who you are but if knowing puts you at risk, then I won't do it. I love you more than I want to know your identity."

ajgkfahgfak gajfkk UGLY SOBBING.

"Then... that means we cannot be together... ever?" Chat asks and his voice is cracking because he's doing all humanly possible not to cry too.

"Not until Hawkmoth is defeated. I promise minou, as soon as we defeat him, we can be together. In the meantime, we have to keep the secret."

Chat Noir gently wipes off the tears from Ladybug and steps closer to her and goes "Then, m'lady, if you'll allow it, I'd like us to keep one more secret."

He leans down slowly, to give LB a chance to say no if she doesn't want it to happen, but she doesn't stop him. They kiss.

"This one stays between us," Chat mutters and then smirks at her. "See you in the next Akuma, m'lady."

The end.

[olivyh]

TWST FAMILY HCS PT2) Savanaclaw and Octavinelle

Feel free to tack on your own Hc’s too!!! I love reading what other people think and how their view of the characters and of Twisted Wonderland in general change from person to person!!!

Savanaclaw:

Leona:

-Farena: We already know Leona describes his brother as being carefree and relaxed, but deep under that I think he’s a deeply intelligent man (how can you run a kingdom and be stupid?). He tries his best to make time in his schedule for his wife and child, and even try to get bonding tike with his younger brother (which never works out well). He tries to teach Cheka as much as he can, often giving him little life lessons while they play games. He’s a very kind and straightforward man, often being blunt when he doesn’t mean to. He stands a little taller than Leona, with Orange hair similar to Chekas. He keeps his hair tied out of his face as much as he can.

-Sister-in-law Kingscholar: A strong and confident woman, not afraid to speak her mind when she wants to. She’s blunt and she’d let you know about it. She’s also very kind in her own way, often dragging Leona off and trying to have serious talks with him, which he appreciates but doesn’t show. She adores Cheka and often spoils him without meaning to, and will spoil Leona too (but indirectly in a way similar to Ace’s father’s). Also very intelligent and good at reading people. I think she stands a little shorter than Leona, but she holds herself higher, and he slouches, so it looks as if they’re the same height. She has long yellow hair (again, similar to the ends of Cheka���s) that she often ties back as well.

-Cheka: We already know him, so heres a few Hcs!: He sometimes asks his mother to do his hair the same way as Leona’s, and tries to do everything like him (such as standing like him, trying to deepen his voice to sound like him, throwing sand at various objects in the castle yelling “King’s Roar!!”)

Ruggie:

-Grandma Bucchi: As he said himself, a stern and prideful woman. I think she’d be on the stricter side, having to teach Ruggie how to survive rather than him having to face those hard truths alone. She likely stands a lot shorter, likely 5’0 (sorry to anyone whos that height), than most other beastwomen. She’s a lot physically stronger than she looks, often still trying to pick Ruggie up at his age. She tries to spoil him when she can, trying to make him relax after working and taking over the household chores (which he declines, still cleaning up when she’s not looking- which earns him a smack to the head with a broom). She’s also a prankster, quietly jumping out from corners and scaring Ruggie or one of the other children. I think she feels a lot of regret over seeing Ruggie grow up so fast in the environment that he had, but she’s the proudest grandma ever. Whenever he sends pictures back she boasts to everyone at home (“See that! That’s my grandson’s school! See that there! He plays magift and is one of the best on the team! Look there! He’s got those nice ceremony robes!”), and even boasts about him with what little baby pictures they have (“See him walking at such a young age? Isn’t he so strong?”) Will never stop talking about her grandson, ever.

-Neighborhood kids: I think they’re like little siblings to Ruggie, so I’m adding them. They try to tale over what Ruggie did when he was at home, helping people fix up their houses or entertaining the baby hyenas when their mothers have other things to do. They also leave gifts to Ruggie when he comes back, between little dolls they made, bracelets they thought he’d like, charms, or pretty rocks and leaves. He keeps all of the gifts, no matter how small.

-His mom (bc the poor woman deserves a spot)(Poor meaning unfortunate)(The more i think abt it, both. It means both. Bad time?): I think she looked a lot like him, but with brighter blue eyes than his. She was definitely a prankster at heart, leaving clever traps behind for any poor soul to get stuck in. She was a very hardworker much like her son, taking on any task she could find to help out her mother. I think she’d try to leave as much behind for Ruggie as she could, which would include little notes and scribbles about how she was feeling throughout her pregnancy and how excited she was for him. Ruggie also kept all of those safe and sound, in a small box he keeps in the corner of his room.

(Can you guess who my fav chara is?)

Jack:

-Grandma & Grandpa Howl: A very loving couple, who always make time out of their schedule for their grandchildren, whether it be for school events, emergencies, or if any one of them want to come by and talk. They met when Grandpa Howl got lost and wandered by Grandma Howl’s family’s cabin (which happens to be the one they, and the rest of the family, still live in to this day) and he spent the night. I think they fell in love at first sight :’)

-Mama Howl: A very soft and loving beastwoman who is willing to sacrifice anything for her children. She is often strict, and sometimes a chatterbox, but she always reminds her children to stay safe and that she loves them. She always pats their head or cheek when she walks by, even if she has to reach a little to plant a kiss on Jack’s forehead. I think her hair would be a little darker grey, and she’d definitely be a little more muscular and taller, reaching six ft one when standing straight up. She’d have the same yellow eyes as Jack, and her hair would be cropped shorter due to her still moving around a lot.

-Papa Howl: Very similar to Jack personality and appearance wise. He stands an inch or two shorter than Jack, but is still very muscular due to working around the house and in the woods (chopping wood for the campfire, dragging around tools, carrying three wolf pups at a time in his younger days (only one now wants to be carried, which hurts the poor man’s heart a bit)

-Baby brother Howl: Huffy and a little moody, but a hard worker even if he complains while doing it most of the time. That’s often with his parents, but when he does something with Jack he doesn’t complain a bit. He’s very attached to his older brother, looking up to him for his strength and strong morals. He often compares him to superheroes and star athletes in his mind, but sometimes it slips out, resulting in one very embarrassed wolf boy and another very flattered wolf boy, ignore their wagging tails, it means nothing. I think he stands pretty tall for a preteen, around 5’7-5’8 and growing taller by the day. Same hair and eye color as Jack. Acts like he doesn’t like to play games with his younger sister but will never turn down a game of tag.

-Baby sister Howl: An absolute sweetheart. She just wants the best for her family and will do whatever she can to make what they want happen. Jack is hungry? Good thing she made her special dessert (it’s a poptart with whipped cream messily piled on top with sprinkles and literal sugar cubed wedged in it, but don’t tell her you don’t like it, please she’d actually bawl). Her other older brother is tired? She can get him extra blankets! Mama needs help cleaning? She can mop (she really just throws water on the floor and praises herself for a job well done). Papa need to cut wood? She can- no, she can’t. Please don’t give her an axe. She’ll cheer him from the sidelines with a song she made up just for him instead! She has their mother’s grey hair and father’s dark brown eyes, and loves to do her hair like the princesses she sees on Tv! (Yes, Jack will wear a too-small dress and Tiara if his sister wants to play princess. No, he will not let anyone take pictures.)

Octavinelle:

Tweels:

-Mama Leech: At first glance, a very kind woman with soft eyes. Willing to open her arms to anyone who might need help. Then, a terrifying grin similar to Floyd’s as that poor unfortunate soul realizes the trap they’d been thrown in. She’s very kind and patient towards both her boys and husband, as well as their friends (even of she is on guard near their friends, throwing a few hollow threats to see if it’d scare them away)(She doesn’t like to share her babies). She dotes on the tweels as much as possible, indulging im whatever curiosity they may have. Floyd wants to know what going through riptide is like? They leave tomorrow to find one. Jade wants to know more about life on land? She’ll find as many books as possible and ask (threaten) people for their land belongings. She knows when too far is too far though, and is very skilled at reeling the boys back in if they get to that point. Will always call them her little guppies, no matter how big they get. I think she’d have a teal bob on top, with the underside of her hair being black (which makes her hair look color changing when she swims). Im her human form shes only a few inches shorter than her boys, ranging around the same as Jack’s mother.

-Papa Leech: The definition of old Hollywood New York mob boss. Strict and blunt about his interests and problems, and not afraid to cause any problems if provoked. When the tweels were younger and they’d wrestle and bite at him, he’d throw them off him easily, telling them they need to work to beat him, even if he was impressed by their teamwork at first. Will die to protect his family, and was likely put in that position many times in the past due to his uh… business. He values his wife and children more than anything, and has done everything in his power in the past to protect them from harm. When they went to NRC at first, he felt defeated and almost wanted to beg them to stay safe with him (not that his pride would allow it).(Both the tweels can see through his facade easily)

Azul:

-Grandma ‘grotto: A very stern and prim octomermaid. What she says goes in the Ashengrotto house, and she often catches herself making unnecessary comments. She does apologize. Also a very loving grandmother towards Azul, often babying him whenever possible (doing the classic “you’re not eating enough here take some more” grandma move)(She will smooch his face whenever possible when there are no business clients nearby). Tries to boost his confidence since she knew about what was happening to him (Chances are she went through the same thing- being an octomer as well) and dod her best to protect him and make him happy. She taught him how to write with his tentacles and encouraged him to do his best in everything he does.

-Mama ‘grotto: Another businesslady in the front absolute softie in the back situation. Adores her son and is incredibly proud of how far he’s come.I think she looks identical to Azul, but more heavyset and, of course, female. She coddled Azul as much as possible, which worked out well with baby Azul’s clingy nature. She had no shame in walking around with the little guy stuck to her (unless he smacked a tentacle to her face when she was working on her restaurant), and made sure everyone knew what a good boy he was. She would show pictures to everyone (similar to Ruggie’s grandma), but respects his wishes in wanting to hide pictures of his past. She still shows anyone who asks pictures of him at NRC (compliments to the twins, who send her updates when her son is busy), and will tell everyone how smart he is and how much he’s grown.

-Step-Papa grotto: A very professional man in every aspect of his life, which stretches to his relationship with his stepson. When he learns about the contracts and Azuls UM, he’s over the moon with how happy he is. He swam around with a little more pep than usual, flicking his tail and flaring out his fins the more and more Azul told him. He helps him reword and format his contracts to his advantage, and is always willing to talk with him about Mostro Lounge or (on rare occasion) some memories before Step papa Ashengrotto met Mama Ashengrotto (which always make him happy that Azul trusts him enough). I think he’d be a pretty generic looking Mer, with an average looking tail and such

[crossdressingdeath]

"Boys will be boys" logic is interesting since WWX himself basically uses that exact excuse in the book when he tells LWJ not to take JC's homophobic rant/assault seriously in the ancestral hall bc that's just how JC is, as if WWX himself wasn't furious when JC targeted LWJ in that scene. A lot of WWX's famed unreliable narration is rationalizing the crazy shit JC does but sometimes people tend to take it at face value.

Yes, exactly! That is such a huge thing. WWX spends so much time telling himself (and through himself the audience) that oh, it can’t be helped when JC mistreats him, JC is just like that, it’s totally fine, he doesn’t mind, and we see how that viewpoint was encouraged and strengthened by the people around him, especially JYL (sorry Shijie but it’s true). Hell, you could argue that this particular aspect of his character was entirely her doing, given YZY just thinks he should be subordinate to JC in all things and JFM mostly ignores JC’s behaviour; it’s just JYL going for the “oh boys will be boys, you’re strong and always smiling, you can take it” angle.

...Actually, let’s go into that a bit more because it very much gets buried under the “best sister” shit; I am prepared to argue that JYL consistently taking JC’s side did serious damage to WWX. Like, she was the only Jiang who consistently showed him affection and support and he convinced himself that it was unconditional! But the “unconditional” aspect was an illusion entirely based on his ability to consistently and convincingly pretend that JC wasn’t hurting him. WWX isn’t stupid, I don’t doubt for a second that he knew JYL would take JC’s side if it came down to it. She always takes JC’s side from day one. Literally; she hears WWX say he’ll take the blame for JC chasing him out of Lotus Pier and getting WWX’s leg broken while all JC did was come out looking for WWX personally (instead of doing the smart and more helpful thing and getting adults to help) because he was scared he’d get in trouble and he got a little scrape because he was running through the woods like an idiot because, again, he was too scared of getting in trouble to GET ACTUAL HELP THAT WASN’T A CHILD and she’s like “Yeah, that sounds reasonable and fair and not like a really, really bad precedent to set with a kid whose safety relies on my family liking him”. ...There’s also an aspect of “Sure, it can’t hurt to let the kid my mother very clearly hates take responsibility for something that he could be punished for by someone with a motive to take everything possible as a wrongdoing on WWX’s part”, but to be fair at this point she doesn’t know YZY will whip WWX for literally anything she can even slightly suggest is any sort of wrongdoing on WWX’s part. And let’s not pretend WWX wasn’t punished for JC getting hurt; come on, it’s YZY, she punishes him for sunbathing.

This is a running thing going forward in their dynamic, too! JC does something horrible, JYL immediately starts in on the “Oh, boys will be boys, A-Cheng might get upset if you call him out on his shit” shtick if WWX shows the slightest trace of dissatisfaction with being treated like garbage, WWX smiles and forgives JC for whatever he did without question, there’s a period of calm, the cycle repeats. JYL very much teaches WWX that he cannot EVER show any unhappiness with JC’s threats and insults. If he ever shows so much as a shred of anger or sadness or generally being upset at the way JC mistreats him JYL takes JC’s side. At most she’ll tell JC that maybe he should back off a little while basically telling WWX to grin and bear it because JC might be slightly upset if anyone ever calls him out on being horrible to literally everyone. And don’t even get me started on the whole “Oh you’re always smiling” bullshit, talk about teaching a mistreated orphan that he has literally no right to look sad about anything ever. Like, let me put it this way: WWX doesn’t even feel he can go to JYL about JC TRYING TO KILL HIM. That’s a lot? It’s a lot? And it never really gets discussed in any way? WWX doesn’t feel like he can tell his supposed sister who supposedly loves him unconditionally that her brother tried to murder him like three times and when the third time comes up JYL takes JC’s side because JC’s arm got broken in the process of the staged fight where JC stabbed WWX in the gut and that’s fine and healthy apparently. Stan WQ, the actual best sister (god I love WQ).

Anyway, now that I’m done enraging the fandom with my tangent about how much JYL sucks as a sister to WWX... Yeah, WWX insists that JC’s attitude can’t be helped because JC’s just like that even when he very clearly doesn’t buy that? He’s obviously pissed when JC goes after LWJ to the point of genuinely going after JC for it... but when they get away from JC he goes into the “Oh, he can’t help it, don’t get mad at him”. And in this particular case part of it is him panicking because JC’s homophobic ranting (and LWJ’s clear anger at it) left him questioning his and LWJ’s feelings and the mutuality thereof, but it also... really does throw every other time he insists JC’s behaviour is fine into question. Like, we know he’s not buying his own line in this scene! He was furious at JC! He’s still furious and upset! But he feels the need to cover for JC. Even after he’s realized that JC’s behaviour wasn’t okay, he still feels like he has to protect him from anyone else getting angry at him. WWX knows JC’s behaviour isn’t okay and that it’s not fair that JC treats him the way he does and I’d argue (especially at this point in the story) that he deserves better than JC’s treatment... but he still insists that JC is just like that and it’s fine.

That throws every single time WWX smiles through JC’s mistreatment into question, I’d say; we know he’ll react this way even when he knows that JC’s behaviour isn’t okay, so who’s to say he ever isn’t aware that JC’s behaviour isn’t okay? In CQL XZ does an excellent job of showing that at least in that continuity he is extremely done with JC’s shit even from when they’re fifteen; the novel is as far as I remember a little less clear, but it’s still pretty obvious that he’s not enjoying the way JC treats him. He knows that the way JC treats him is hurtful and upsetting and sometimes even frightening (think of the times JC threatens him with dogs and he’s clearly scared, which is a whole other thing because either he’s so scared of dogs that even the threat terrifies him or he has zero doubt that JC for sure would set dogs on him, which is a big thing either way and also I’m still not over how CQL JYL laughs when JC threatens WWX with dogs even though WWX is clearly scared and she totally would’ve laughed if that happened in the novel too but showing it so blatantly and then never actually getting into how messed up it is is just unnecessary), but he feels like he has to smile through it and cover for JC, just like when they were nine.

Anyway yeah, for a fandom so obsessed with WWX being an unreliable narrator the MDZS/CQL fandom sure does miss a lot of times where WWX is actually being unreliable, huh.