#and i wouldnt dream of talking to other people about my suspicions

[justtorzaplease]

I've seen a lot of things about self diagnosing, how it's annoying, how its unsafe, how people are just trying to be trendy. As someone who is currently self diagnosed with ADHD, while I cant speak for others, I can speak for myself. I've looked through medical journals, I've taken thousands upon thousands of tests, I've done everything except get an actual diagnosis. Why? Because I'm a minor. And that means I'd have to talk to my parents about this.

[faggotgamzee]

hello i have a skephalo vampire au that ill never write but i want it out of my head, a plot outline under the cut, feel free to do whatever the fuck you wanna do with this id just love to see it if you do

Skephalo vampire au: Bbh meets skeppy in the most unfortunate of circumstances, 12 year old skeppy gets bitten and kept as a vampire spawn with no will and servant to the vampire that bit him, bbh and his mentor raid the place and kill all the vampires, bbh takes pity on young skeppy, not being capable of killing a child he decides to feed him the blood of the vampire that bit him to free him of the trance and orders him to run, unbeknownst to his mentor. Time skip 8 years later skeppy has left his hometown where he was bitten and is doing very well for himself, he is a very adept vampire with a clan thats like a family (think idots, invadedlands gang) he is rich and invests in real estate (lol) but tells people he is a magician for a living. Vampires in this au can be in the sun but only for short amounts of time otherwise they’ll get bad skin burns eventually think 2-3 hours max, skeppys strong suit is that he can stay out in the sun double the amount and skeppy is very adept at using vampire compulsion in a way that makes people not realize, it’s very soft and more of a suggestion and planting ideas in people's heads he is also very good at blending in with normal people. Skeppy decides he wants to go back to where he grew up on a whim one day, either to confront his past or something like that, everyone disagrees with him and the he shouldn't because that area isnt a safe space for vampires due to vampire hunters but he decides to hell with their warnings and leaves, they all follow him one by one eventually because theyre worried for him and theyre not gonna leave him alone in case he gets in trouble In almost a string of fate type deal he immediately runs into bbh in a bakery/coffee shop looking for muffins, skeppy recognizes bbh and is almost floored he is just standing there staring at him in shock before he realizes he should probably act normal, he says hi and then he is worried at first that bbh will recognize him but he doesn't skeppy has changed very much from when he was 12, skeppy almost considers following bbh but he knows he is a hunter and doesn't want to risk it, instead he camps out the shop hoping to see him again and he does, bbh comes in every couple days for muffins and coffee After a while he works up the courage to approach him out of impulse and to talk to him he doesn't know what compels him but he needs to know more about him Essentially he tries super hard to befriend him, after a couple false assumptions about dating and a LOT of suspicion and shut downs, bbh agrees to hang out with him after skeppy tells him he is a magician and he gets roped in to do a show for kids that bbh teaches and skeppy is floored thats the thing that gets him to open up Bbh hasnt been a hunter in a long time, he works as a teacher’s assistance for elementary kids, he does become a sort of a mentor to the dteam in terms of vampire hunting picking them up like strays over the years, dream especially is very gungho about being a hunter after a bad experience with werewolves and he is very good at studying and the reputation of the area being dangerous for the paranormal comes from him (i think itd be cool if he gets bit and turned into a vampire later on and skeppy gives his help and its a secret between them)

George comes from a family of witches/warlocks so he is already familiar with the paranormal he met bbh when they were both highschool age and they kinda just.. Knew that the other knew and stuck together Sapnap was bad’s first stray he (dream being second) that he picked up after saving him he was orphaned after a real bad vampire attack and sapnap just kinda stuck to him like glue bad tried to avoid him but sapnap is persistent and real quickly bad kinda just warmed up to him and started teaching him and took on a more father figure role for him Everyone jokes that skeppy really seems to want to date bad cuz skeppy is obsessed with bad and no one realizes why skeppy is so fascinated by bad in that he saved his life years ago, he knows bad would kill him if he knew what he was so he keeps it a secret and he is very good at blending in, he keeps wanting to see how far he can take it and after a bet from one of the idots (they dont know bad is a hunter) that he wouldnt be able to drink bad’s blood he takes it to a next level and starts a dance between them, bbh is immediately suspicious of skeppy and shares that suspicion with dteam only to be met with something along the lines of not everyone who is interested in you is out to kill you Skeppy enjoys toying with bad and seeing how far he can go, its maddeningly harder than he thought to drink his blood, bbh is very prepared and very vigilante, any attempts of following him home are moot he always loses him, he still manages to fuck with him, bad is always doubting if skeppy is a vampire or not until he isnt either via dream getting bit and skeppy helping him and it coming out or something like that, but its important for it to come out after bad and skeppy have grown inseperably close so he doesnt kill him immediately lmao Notable mentions technoblade and skeppy both were orphan vampires in a city and have a sort of camaraderie between them

[greenflamedwriter]

Power of Blood, Dreams and other such things.

Luo Binghe was gifted, being nurtured by a loving Shizun and having more opportunities he was able to go further than the previous Luo Binghe. This Luo Binghe escaped the Abyss Two years early, in that time he was able to get more things done and able to perfect his ability to invade peoples dreams, to invading ones mind.

Luo Binghe is now a telepath.

So when he first meets Shizun, he immedietly felt excitment to know what Shizun thought to see his Disciple come back.

Disgusted? Disapointed that he didn't die? Relief that his previous white lotus was alive?

Fuck, he's early! He was supposed to be in the abyss for five years!"

...huh?

So it really is shizun.

FUCK don’t act like that, it’s terrifying!

Yet his Shizun barely showed his thoughts, except for the white knuckled grip on his fan.

He really was afraid?

Shizun climbed the steps lamenting that he was going to burst into tears.

Once he got closer at the top of the stares he saw Shizuns eyes narrowed upon his disciple but his thoughts.

At the conference he was almost my height, now I have to look UP at him, no fair!

Okay he’s been a poser for years so he had plenty of experience, no matter how terrified he was on the inside no matter how turbulent his emotions his serene unpreturbed expression was back on his face.

Meanwhile Luo Binghe’s face was slowly darkening, Shizun really despised him didn’t he, he never uttered a word and yet those were his thoughts.

“What is going on here?” He breathed out, if it wasn’t for his thoughts then he wouldn’t have realised how off Shizun sounded.

Shizun noticed the lack of respect, the huan hua disciples were ecuding, 

Dont you have it wrong? Don’t be in such a hurry to be someones bodyguard as if the person behind you need your protection it;s already pretty good he’s not harming anyone, but the person who really needs protecting is me, me!

It took a moment to realise that his Shizun was talking about him. He inwardly scowled he hadn’t even done anything yet!

Gongyi xiao reprimanded the huan disciples, 

He could hear Shizuns thoughts and almost looked at him in shock.

Of course Luo Binghe’s brainwashing skills is nothing to sneeze at, but didn’t he infiltrate Huan hua palace two years later? 

This is the second time Shizun gazed at him with suspicion but it answered a question.

Shizun knew he would survive, and even reprimanded him on slacking off on being stronger as if it was some weird impromptu training exercise. But he was afraid…

One of the Huan hua disciples started crying that Luo Binghe was infected and how happy Shizun would be about that.

Shizun looked at him indifferently. “You were infected?”

DId Luo Binghe imagine his look of care?

His selflessness and protecting others, reminds me of my white lotus.

White lotus? Who is white lotus!?

Isnt this perfect? I suppose senior shen overjoyed by luo shixiongs infection.

…Seriosuly did I do something to the Huan hua palace that I’m forgetting? What is their problem.

Saying nothing though, he revealed his own wrist obviously red and showing infection making the disciple who spoke out flush red.

Honestly Luo Binghe was embarrassed this was not how he wanted to reunion of him and his shizun, but those thoughts scattered at the red mark on his wrist.

Qin wanyue spoke, its our fault luo shixiong if you hadnt protected us you wouldnt have…

Shizun only calmly waved his fan. Luo Binghe almost thought he was speaking outloud in his teacherly voice.

Ah to a heavenly demon this threat was nothing, the equivilant of a saline or glucose demon- it might even have health benefits for Luo Binghe! 

He glanced over like a secret and Luo Binghe had no idea how to take his thoughts without revealing he was reading the others mind.

Shizun never spoke about that with revulsion only with something like awe…then immediately dampened it with.

As if anything would happen to Binghe? Shizun scoffed, if he got hurt it was on purpose just to favor his selfless image.

This was all Luo Binghe’s design he would never let others drag him down or be so easily infected and look helpless, this was just to garner points for reputation.

Shizun what is with this hot and cold attitude!? What did I do!?

“A sower.”

Younger disciples wouldn’t know anything about this, luckily I decided to read some in the back books for some fiction reading and found this text about sowers-

“Luo Binghe already told us that.”

Why did he bother? Is everything he said moot because of the protagonist! He could see their eyes light up and their Iqs drop as they looked at Luo Binghe.

Shizuns glanced his way, and a tiny miniscule glare that Luo Binghe would’ve usually missed if he wasn’t staring.

He would’ve guessed that Shizun was glaring at him.

…Is his face glowing?

Was it- was his mark exposed?

To distract himself he only smiled “Shizun taught me everything I know.” And he didn’t like how the Huan hua looked down on his shizun, he sounded proud to show off his knowledge and they took the wind out of his sails.

After Shizun requested the use of the corpse to find a cure, Luo Binghe easily aquisted.

“It would be as Shizun desires.” He spoke softly and tried to infuse as much warmth as possible.

Shizun showed no emotion, other than the thought-

Is this how his enemies experienced his dagger concealing smile just before he gutted them? So scary.

Shizun turned with a flourish looking calm collected, detached.

But his thoughts sounded panicked and terrified.

WHo spread lies to his Shizun that he was some type of monster?

After taking care of the body quickly, Luo Binghe made his way down the staircase in haste and hoped he hadn’t missed his old Master and almost scowled to see him talking to Xiao Gongyi.

…After all they wouldn’t be wrong, he did hurt binge, and I can’t find any reason to justify or exonirate myself.

“So why don’t you misunderstood.”

“I believe Shen Qingqiu would never harm his own disciple.”

…it makes sense, we’re both cannon fodder doomed to fall to the male leads indestructible body we’re able to understand and sympathize with each others situation.

Shizun caught his eyes then blanched.

Now his smile was fake and insincere at least his Shizun caught on to that.

Bing-ge whats wrong now? Even the sight of canon fodder talking and huddling together for warmth offends you?

Whose is huddling together for warmth!? Fall to the male leads body- what IS his Shizun thinking!?

Later on he followed Shen QIngqiu to his inn, talking to Mu Qingfan and Liu Qingge, Luo Binghe waited patiently until they were done.

Before he opened the door he waited to know what Shizun was thinking.

Closing his eyes he had a flash of himself, of Shizun calling him his little white lotus, then as he was now but more…scary and imposing Shizun was scared of him calling him a blackened Lotus.

He took a moment before knocking, he had to be calm, show Shizun he wasn’t scary and that his Shizun could trust him, could explain why he pushed him off a cliff-

“Liu-Shidi? I’ve been waiting for you!” He heard Shizun get up.

 Fuck calm.

The doors blew open Shizun, hello.

Oh shit! Hes here!

Shizun was more to proffanity that outloud.

Shizun grabbed his fan and leapt out the window all the way thinking loudly-

He tore away that goose-bump rising mask and now revealed his dark nature of making his teacher pay! 

His Shizun made no sense, he wondered why he bothered listening to his thoughts, he didn’t sound remorseful, he sounded distant even omitting how he sacrificed himself for without a cure for Luo Binghe and maybe he could count on old affections.

But it was too late, Luo Binghe was too angry, his Shizun had some idea of what he was accusing him of planting sowers destroying his reputation and assuming he was a monster because he was a demon? He hated demons that much!?

I don’t! 

Shizun thought, his eyes watching Binghe’s every move.

“So it’s just me, Shizun detests.”

Exactly! Now that we’re- no no wait what what what?

But Luo Binghe already reacted pouring his blood down Shizuns throat, he will make Shizun suffer a little.

His Shizun spat it out “Shh, Shizun even if it’s dirty demon blood you won’t die.” He teased, 

No I won’t die, Shizun thought it’s a fate worse than death!

Luo Binghe left him and walked away before he did anything else he’d regret.

But still…he was curious, taking one more chance he followed Shizun to the inn and sat on the roof crossed legged, with closer proximity he could hear Shizuns thoughts- he could even hear him tossing and turning.

Good god will they stop wriggling, his Shizun moaned tossing and turning, Luo Binghe’s lips tilted into a smirk.

In the past, Heavenly demons had been able to control their blood after it left the body, Shizun spoke ever the scholar, even in the agony of his blood parasites he was thinking this.

If someone drank their blood, death was indeed only one possible consequence but the other options were endless.

Luo Binghe could master his blood for tons of things, like poison, could create parasites to destroy a target within, a location trackers, a physical means of brainwashing, a sex tool-

Luo Binghe almost spat out blood at the trail of his Shizuns thoughts a what tool!? How did Shizun know-

Wait…how did Shizun know?

Speaking of being in the abyss for five years, telling him he was early...did Shizun know something? Luo Binghe would have to be closer to him and see if his Shizun would reveal anything else...

"Does Shizun regret it?"

His Shizun said nothing, looking aloof and unassuming, Luo Binghe almost didn't want to know, but...

nonsense, of course I regret it his intestines were twisted into knots of regret. Images flashed in his mind of Qing Jing peak, of a burial site with-

his sword, his Shizun calling out to his disciple and nothing but silence, resentment that Luo Binghe was going through worse in the abyss and he had to pull himself together- Ning Yingying crying to Shizun not to fall into grief, Shizun bemoaning that he's not some widow- even though he was acting like it.

Luo Binghe took a step back like he'd been slapped, covering his mouth with his hand and hiding his pleased smile.

His Shizun really- really it was too good to be true.

Shen Qingqiu raised an eyebrow, "Bing- Luo Binghe what is it?" He looked suspicious, but there was another question he needed answering.

"Shizun, why are you afraid of me?"

Shen Qingqiu missed him, so why was he afraid- because of what he'd done? He thought Luo Binghe would enact revenge?

Shen Qingqiu's brows furrowed.

Afraid? Why wouldn't he be afraid?

Flashes, of Luo Binghe but...not Luo Binghe, and Shen QIngqiu-

The current Luo Binghe stiffened, seeing all of the memories and visuals of Shen Qingqiu as a human stick, his eye and tongue ripped out and the phantom pain-

And Shen qingqiu voice wasn't helping.

I might not be a human stick, hopefully if I don't piss him off, but there's worse ways to die-

It was real, Shizun saw this- he believed this.

"Did-" Luo Binghe asked his throat dry and began to shake, he couldn't imagine how Shen Qingqiu felt.

"Did something tell you the future? Of what I would become? That I would hurt you?"

Shen Qingqiu looked even more confused, where did he get that- how did he know?

So it was true, Luo Binghe fell to his knees before Shen Qingqiu with nothing but relief.

"Shizun..." He reached out fast, grabbing Shen Qingqiu's wrists and raised his sword Xin Mo.

Human stick- human stick!

Shen QIngqiu yelped, but the only sign of his distress was his eyes widening a fraction. Luo Binghe never realised how much his master was holding back, that all these time he was afraid and hid it behind his mask...it made him sad.

He cut the immortal binding cables and they snapped loose, freeing his Shizun.

He put away Xin Mo, and looked at Shizun with a warm look and pulled him into a hug.

"I am so relieved." He spoke his eyes burning with tears, if he hadn't read Shen Qingqiu's mind he would've...he would've misunderstood everything.

"B-Binghe?" His Shizun was shaking, if only his shizun could read his mind he wouldn't be so afraid.

Luo Binghe pulled back with a smile looking Shen Qingqiu in the eyes who only looked lost.

"You don't need to fear my being behind by finishing the abyss early, I learned a few things- such as how to push the boundries of peoples dreams invading their minds and going a step further."

He raised a finger tapping his forehead and then tapping Shen Qingqiu's, smirking in amusement as his master became cross-eyed.

"Such as reading others minds."

It took a moment and he saw Shen Qingqiu's mask finally crack morphing into horror-

He can read my mind!? Shit what did I say!? oh god-

Shen Qingqiu gasped deep in horror- Did he hear me call him handsome- shit he's doing it now!

Luo Binghe saw his Shizuns face slowly turn more red and flushed his eyes flickering before covering his face with his hands. Luo Binghe gave a soft huff which could count as a life.

"Shizun, don't be embarresed. I don't mind you calling me handsome." he preened.

His Shizun glared, it's too rude is what it is! Lack of privacy, consent!

Finally Luo Binghe felt guilt "I- I'm sorry Shizun but I had to be sure, I know you had a reason to push me down, but you knew I would come back and you regretted it. Thats all I needed to know, I'll stop."

Shizun looked at him in confusion, then began to wait, Luo Binghe only tilted his head.

"So you've stopped reading my mind?"

"Yes...what were you thinking?" Shizun looked away then back down at the cables "What now?"

"Did Shizun do it? The Qui's?" Shizun shook his head "I don't know- I think I did but I don't know."

Luo Binghe could use that, if Shen had no memory then they could try to pursuade Qui Haitang not to condemn a man for something he has no recollection of doing.

"Hmm, Binghe did you plant the sowers?"

Luo Binghe almost snapped but then shook his head "It wasn't me."

"hmm."

He took his hands "Please, Shizun believe me! I didn't do it-"

"I believe you but Binghe, if you didn't plant the sowers and frame me...then who did?"

Luo Binghe blinked, he also didn't think of that, he was too focused on his Shizun to even question it.

He stood up and helped Shizun stand.

"Come on, I can help you escape-"

"Wait if I leave then the trial-"

"The Palace master has no intention of letting you go, he'd have you rot in here for months and make false evidence you have to go into hiding."

Shizun tugged his arm "No Binghe I have a back-up." His Shizun took a breath then released it "I have a...plant thats growing until then if anything happens to me I'll be fine." Luo Binghe's eyes widened.

The Sun and moon dew mushroom.

Did Shizun make it because of him?

But no he told Binghe- Binghe shook his head "If I oppose the old master I can deal with him, Qui Haitangs testimony is just her words alone without evidence you'll be fine."

Shizun blinked then his hands tightened in Binghe's hold

"Okay, I trust you."

[heyitsyn]

Oh God

TimeTraveler!Son x Haikyuu!! Part 2

a/n: hehe i wouldnt put ‘x haikyuu’ if manager y/n ends up with that certain character. youll just have to,,,, wait for the end 😏

he didnt want to lie but he had to so he could survive

hinata offered his hand to help him up and natsu winced at the scratches and the slight headache as he stood on his two feet

‘you okay?’

hinata asked and natsu nodded

‘yea, just a headache’

natsu tried to play it off as cooly as he could bc this must’ve been from the car hit before and he couldnt just say he got ran over by a damn car

‘where do you live? i can go and treat your wounds there’

natsu was about to respond but he remembers hes not in tokyo anymore and he cant just spout out his address

so he did the thing his mom told him to do whenever it was necessary

he lied

‘i-um,,,’

he fumbled for an excuse but he sighed to maintain the act

‘i got kicked out’

he mumbled and hinata had to make him repeat it twice because he said it so quietly

the tangerine boy gasped and held his arms

‘what?! why?!’

natsu sniffled

‘my dad,,,, he just,,, doesnt want me’

well, that was actually true

so a true statement could equal that lie, right?

thankfully, hinata bought it and he grabbed his arm to walk forward while his other was pushing his bike

‘i hit you with my bike so the least i could do is take you to my house and treat you!’

and that was what they did

natsu’s phone was dead even though he was sure he charged it from denki’s powerbank during practice but it remained its black screen no matter how many times he hit the power button

his surroundings was also something unfamiliar

his mother only kept him in tokyo and never took him to go visit her family because she was kicked out and had to go live with her auntie when she found out about him and his father refused to help her

‘so, sendai, huh?’

he mumbled and hinata looked at him confused

‘sounds like youre not from around here. where you from?’

‘t-tokyo’

he replied and saw hinata’s eyes brighten

‘oh?! you look like youre my age so you must have been in a high school in tokyo, right? what school?’

‘yuuei’

‘hah?! yuuei?! what is that?!’

natsu rolled his eyes and shrugged

‘a school’

hinata persisted though

‘do you know other schools?! any other school friends?! like nekoma?! or fukurodani?!’

natsu shook his head and he was supposed to be happy that he got to meet, even talk, to his idol yet his younger self was much more hyper than his mellowed out behavior on tv

‘i stick to my friends from yuuei’

‘but what are you doing all the way here?’

natsu’s throat dried up and he watched his feet kick the pebbles to distract him of his urge to just whine and throw a tantrum with the confusion from this mess

‘i dont know’

he choked out and he was so tired and confused and all he wants to do is cry in his mother’s arms like he used to but she doesnt even know he exists

hinata sensed the tension and sadness from the boy beside him and tried his best to stay quiet until they get home

to say his mom was angry was an understatement

‘SHOYO, DONT YOU KNOW TO WATCH WHERE YOURE GOING?!’

‘kaa-san i was so angry and bakageyama was yelling at me and hit me and-’

‘THAT DOESNT GIVE YOU AN EXCUSE TO RUN SOMEONE OVER!’

natsu sat there on their couch awkwardly watching the black-haired woman yell at the human tangerine

he coughed in impulse and she turned away from her son and went to sit next to the h/c boy

‘dear, im so sorry for my son and his terrible biking. i didnt catch your name when you entered, what is it?’

even hinata forgot to ask his name but thats such a hinata thing to do though

natsu froze

if he was to say his mother’s last name, it would raise suspicion that he might know her in this time period and izuku has shown him enough doctor who to show him what happens when he messes up in time

again, he lied

‘kiri,,,shima,,, natsu. kirishima natsu’

he inwardly apologized to eijirou for using his last name

mrs. hinata raised a hand to her mouth with a surprised gasp

‘oh! my daughter’s name is also natsu! natsu, dear! can you come here for a second?’

natsu heard soft sounds from the stairs and she shyly walked down 

‘come say hi’

she softly urged her daughter to come closer and the little girl ran to hide behind her older brother who gently smiled and held her hand

‘well, thats her. she just turned 10 a few days ago. look dear, kirishima-kun has the same name as you!’

she waved slightly and natsu felt his heart swell at the sight of the adorable little girl

his mother never really had time for relationships so he was an only child and never got to experience a sibling, only hearing the experience of having siblings from his friend, shouto

mrs. hinata placed a gentle hand on his arm to revert his attention back to her

‘shoyo told me what happened and im sorry that this is all happening to you’

he felt guilty at the sight of her sad eyes because this was all a lie but he knew if he told them the real reason, they wouldnt believe him

so he had to continue with the lie

‘everything was falling apart and i wanted to leave everything behind. so i just took the shinkansen to nowhere and ended up here’

mrs. hinata felt her heart tug because he was just a little boy and he was too young to experience this so she offered him something he shouldnt have agreed to but again, survival

‘you can stay with us in the mean time. our guest room has been collecting dust so you can live here’

‘what? no! i can’t!’

natsu instinctually turned it down because he hated people giving him charity

but the woman squeezed his arm to give him a smile

‘i will not allow a child to live in the streets because of something he couldnt help’

‘arent you worried youre inviting a total stranger in your home?’

but she gave him a knowing smile

‘im a mother. i can trust you, boy’

in exchange for board and food, he promised to get a part time job so he could pay her back and get out of their house as quickly as he could

shoyo led him to the bathroom upstairs so he could treat the wounds from the ground

natsu sat on the closed toilet seat while his literal idol was putting cream on his boo-boos

he still cant wrap his head with everything

maybe it was because he was so busy trying to come up with lies that he wasnt able to fully sit down and think about the fact that he just TRAVELED BACK IN TIME and could accidentally change it

‘shoyo, what year is it?’

he mumbled

‘2012′

he answered and natsu sighed but his head perked up

oh god

2012

thats a year away from 2013

the year he was born

that meant shoyo’s team manager was going to give birth to him next year

‘why? did you hit your head so far that you forgot?’

hinata joked but he paled when natsu didnt laugh

‘OH GOD DID YOU?!’

‘NO! AND STOP YELLING!’

natsu shouted, equally surprised

‘whew, thank god. again, im so sorry i hit you’

‘shoyo, dont worry about it, okay? im fine, i swear’

during dinner, mrs. hinata told him about his school situation

‘you can go to karasuno with shoyo. what year were you in?’

‘first’

‘perfect! shoyo is too so he could easily help you around the school!’

natsu nodded quietly, still out of it and his brain finally starting to accept this impossible reality

‘but i dont think i could help you with the entrance exams. im not the most-um-smartest, per se’

shoyo apologized but natsu already knew that

he was no extreme fanatic but he knew quite a lot about hinata shoyo, the player he watched during the 2021 olympics and the reason he started playing volleyball

natsu dreamed to join the msby jackals just like his idol did and eventually reach the national team like hinata did

it was during the olympics of 2021, he knew he wanted to be like him

this boy who sat next to him was the reason he came to love volleyball along with his other idol, oikawa tooru, from the argentina volleyball team after seeing that legendary match 

when oikawa hit that service ace, natsu wanted to be able to receive that

he was merely 8 and his neighbor, midoriya inko, was babysitting him and she placed him and her son who was his friend, izuku, in front of the tv where they watched the olympics match

‘someday, ill be someone great. ill be great like him’

he promised and from then on, he worked to achieve that goal 

‘natsu? hello?’

he was shaken from his thoughts as shoyo nudged him back to reality

mrs. hinata laughed

‘maybe you should head to bed early, dear. you must be tired after having a hard journey’

he nodded and was about to go and wash his dishes when she stopped him

‘no. go and sleep, ill take care of this’

‘i have to do my part in here, hinata-san. please, let me do this’

she finally agreed and he was scrubbing the plates when his mind wandered over to possible solutions on how he could go back

there was an episode that he watched with izuku that the character had to do something to go back

and he had a feeling that he would have to do the same thing

but what would that something be?

there had to be a reason he was thrown all the way in this time and it couldnt just be a coincidence that supposedly, this would be around the same time his mother would get pregnant

but who would it be?

he finished putting the plates on the drying rack and he felt really thirsty suddenly

opening the fridge, he found no water bottles and natsu had a very sensitive stomach so he couldnt drink tap water

his next favorite beverage was there and he pulled a glass from the cabinet

‘hinata-san, is it okay if i can have some milk?’

he called out and she shouted that it was okay

natsu poured the drink on his glass and started drinking it when hinata entered the kitchen and snickered at him

‘yknow, you remind me of my idiot teammate. none of my other friends drink straight milk except for him’

natsu placed the glass down and wiped his lips

‘chocolate milk make me sick and i hate the taste of flavoring in milk. but i just hate flavoring in general. except for gari gari popsicles, those are good’

natsu reasoned, watching hinata move across the room to get an apple

‘still ew. but come on! lets go to bed so i can show you around school early before practice tomorrow!’

natsu noticed his excitement by the way he bounced in place and he chuckled

it reminded him of his friends mina and denki

hinata led them both to his room so he could check his wounds again just to make sure

then something caught his eye

‘kirishima-kun you like volleyball?!’

that threw him off

partly because he wasnt used to being called by his friend’s last name

but also because of the question

‘huh? how do you know that?’

natsu asked, almost defensively

hinata shrugged

‘i saw your volleyball shoes in your bag’

hinata reasoned and excitedly pointed at them

‘you should play for us! im part of the team too! oh oh! what position do you play?!’

‘l-libero’

natsu stuttered out, slightly overwhelmed by hinata’s energy

hinata started circling him, inspecting his height and looking at him up and down

‘yanno, kirishima-kun, youre really tall. like much taller than the rest of my club. maybe not saltyshima but really!! youre so tall!!’

hinata whined in envy and natsu laughed

‘blame it on the paternal side of the family. my ma isnt really tall’

he laughs but then memories of his mother resurfaced and he suddenly felt gloomy, guilty, even, bc he doesnt know if time stopped there or it kept going and if so, shes probably worried sick

and he knew she was always one who blamed herself

hinata noticed his downcast expression and thought he probably remembers his dad and got sad since he got kicked out

so our baby sunshine freaked out and he frantically waved his hands around

‘oh no! gomen kiri-kun! gomen! i really didnt mean to make you think about him! gomen!!!’

he even bowed which surprised the h/c boy and made him stand back up

‘o-oi shoyo! dont! you didnt because i wasnt thinking about him!’

he fussed and patted hinata’s hair

‘i dont care about him. to be honest, there isnt much to think about’

he didnt think about what he said until he heard himself

natsu’s eyes widened, fearful of how hinata could take it but he flinched when the orange-haired boy’s eyes were filled with his own tears

‘OH NO!! KIRI-KUN!!!’

then launched another series of apologies and natsu had to calm him down

oh dear

it was early in the morning like 5 when hinata bursted into natsu’s room

the loud shout of shoyo made his eyes blink open and he groaned before turning to the side

‘come on, kiri-kun! we need to go to take your exam!’

‘nooooooooo’

‘yeeessssssss’

it was quite a battle for hinata to even just get natsu out of bed but he managed to bribe the latter with some milk bread from the bakery down the street

‘2′

natsu showed his two fingers and hinata sighed before nodding

‘yes. now go hurry so we can leave!’

dressed in his grey sweatpants and a yuuei sweatshirt, natsu cursed as he only has clothes good for 2 days and he didnt want to bother the hinatas so he was at a loss

mrs hinata bid the two boys good bye and natsu was yawning and dragging his body to walk while hinata was skipping over to his bike

then he finally realized the problem

he nervously looked at natsu and the taller boy didnt understand why he was looking at him that way

‘what?’

shoyo pointed at the bike and awkwardly smiled

‘uh,,, you see,,, i dont think youd,,, fit,,, at the back seat’

natsu shrugged

‘then ill bike. ive done it before’

he sauntered over to the bike and swiftly lifted his leg before testing out the brake handles

‘its good and better than mine back home’

‘a-are you-’

‘sit down, sho’

hinata gripped on to the back of natsu’s sweatshirt as he told him the directions to how to get to the school

natsu remembered watching an interview of hinata talking about his high-school life and he remembered the star player talking about his dedication to go to karasuno everyday for volleyball

and the boy couldn’t believe hes doing that right now, with his idol literally behind him, and driving to the legendary karasuno high school

from the jackals to the adlers and even some other teams like the frogs, natsu cheered for them

there was a memory of his mother sitting with him on their couch during one of her rare day offs as they rewatched the recorded copy of the olympics

it has become natsu’s favorite thing to watch

‘with great talent comes great hardships. people don’t become good overnight and i watched those people suffer through it all but look where they are now’

‘KIRISHIMA, WATCH OUT! COWS CROSSING!’

natsu was snapped out of his thoughts at hinata’s shout

then it morphed into pure and utter confusion

‘cows?’

shoyo laughed

‘since youre from the city, this must be a weird sight for you, huh? well, in the countryside, this happens a lot!’

but natsu didnt mind

in fact, he loved cows

he loved any farm animal in general

maybe it was his upbringing in the hustle and bustle of the city that he grew to love the countryside

shoto took him with his family to a trip to the country once and he remembered loving the smell of grass

they were able to do an activity in a farm where they worked in a rice farm and the peace and serenity was something he will always remember

his mother was lucky she grew up in a place like this

‘kiri-kun, ive been wanting to ask, how is your volleyball team in the city? are you a powerhouse?’

natsu felt pride bubble up in his chest

‘of course! we got second place in nationals!’

he boasted and blurted out before he could stop himself

then he felt fear

he shouldnt have said that because for all he knows, yuuei probably doesn’t exist at this time period

hinata had a different reaction and his eyes shone

‘WHAT?! WOAH! SO COOL! I HAVE TO TELL OUR CAPTAIN THAT WE’RE GETTING A POWERHOUSE STUDENT!’

‘uh-i-uh-’

natsu didnt know what to say because he had a feeling he definitely just did an oopsie

so he switched topics really quick to divert the attention away from his past

‘o-oi sho, once youre done being a pro volleyball player and stuff, we should have our own rice farm’

of course it was such a random idea but it distracted the orange boy

hinata shrugged

‘i mean,,, i have to be a pro first but i guess we can!’

‘hmm,,,, i dont think you have to worry about that’

.................................................

taglist:

@hartbeat-art​ @yakus-yakult​ @nerdyphantomlady​ @jollycowboysaladhero​ @cynicallychaotic​ 

a/n: oh god this sat in my drafts for so long and i really dont know what im doing like i kinda have a rough outline of what im doing but im just going with the flow but i dont think the flow is quite flowy 

[lokihzra]

Brother

Summary: Loki x avengers au, idk man Loki isn’t dead, he missed Thor, nobody trusts him, Tony and Banner feel bad, Loki is slightly losing it but won’t tell anyone

“Loki!” Thor hears Thanos growl as he picks himself off the ground, Rogers is on the ground beside Thanos, Loki holding the gauntlet, if it weren’t for the purple kool-aid man yelling his name Thor would swear he’s dreaming “drop-“ Thanos starts to growl again, starting to stand “lovely to see you again but i must be going now” Lokis smirks before disappearing in a green light. Thor feels his knees wanting to give out but he doesn’t let them “where is he” Thanos growls grabbing Thor by his throat and lifting him off the ground “i., dont, know” Thor wheezes out trying breathe better. “here” he hears his brothers voice to his right, so faint he barely heard it “snap now” Loki states and he looks over to see Loki standing beside banner as the latter screams in pain as he veins light up different colours and then Thanos drops him, he wheezes, catching his breath as he watches Thanos running over to them and without a thought he throws stormbreaker at him and the overgrown eggplant trips over it as Loki holds his palms out and spreads them apart. Thor stops getting up as he sees a green barrier surround his brother and Banner. “Bruce!” Loki spins around to face the man in his hulk form and he replies with a snap. For some reason Loki expects himself to fade away, like ash but he opens his eyes to all of Thanos’ men, ships and the man himself slowly dissolving into thin air. He lets the barrier down watching as the man that tortured and controlled him weakly walked over to a pile of rubble and takes a seat on it “good to see you again reindeer games” Tony pants from a couple feet away before he lays back down exhausted I did it.

“How the hell are you here?!” Natasha threatens sitting on top of Loki and holding a knife to his throat “brother, help please” he looks at Thor who’s still shocked standing still not saying anything “shut up” she snarls pressing the knife harder into his throat, now if it wasn’t his own dagger he wouldn’t be scared “let me up and i’ll tell you all everything” he stares her directly in the eyes hoping that she can see that he’s being honest for once in his life, after a second of glaring she hesitantly removes the knife and stands,never stopping her glare. He lets out a sigh before getting up “did you all really think it would be that easy for me to die?” he asks “well he did see your dead body” clint says obviously disappointed while pointing at Thor, he notices his brother still never moved “brother?” he tries to get his attention ignoring everyones eyes on him, doesnt work “brother” Thor doesnt respond and Loki lets out a mix of a groan and a sigh “can you smack him or something?” he asks Bruce and the man frowns “he was kicking your ass on Sakaar don’t worry about it” Bruce’s mouth moves up and down in surprise before finally saying “you’re Ragnarok Loki?” and he frowns “you’re the Loki that fought and died for his people, not the 2012 Loki that was trying to take over New York” Bruce simply says “god you guys are slow” Natasha sighs before turning and punching Thor in the face, it does the trick but doesn’t hurt him which kinda hurts Nat’s ego “i saw you die” Thor says offended and Loki smirks “so you’ve said before” his smile drops and he sighs going to sit on the couch, Thor, Banner and Tony following right away “so i actually did die but since Hela also died, the names in Hells book wouldnt apply, basically Hell was closed until it found a new owner, there was no other place for me to go but reincarnation, took 5 damn years for my body to regenerate though” he smiles happily “then where will Thanos go” Nat asks and Loki can hear the fear in her voice “oh he’s going to Hell” Loki nods smiling harder “i thought you just said Hell’s closed” Tony frowns taking a sip of his drink “not anymore” he takes Tonys drink and downs it in one gulp ignoring the mans offended look instead focusing on Peter i think that’s his name as he asks “then whos the new owner, or ruler?” He’s sitting with his arms crossed on the armrest of the chair that Doctor Strange is in “me” Loki smirks looking directly at Doctor Strange showing that i am completely unfazed by your suspicion of me so stop glaring “wait why’d you show up after the snap?” Tony says taking a seat again with a new drink and Loki barely stops himself from flinching when did he get up? “my soul was stuck in the soul stone so when you snapped my soul took that opportunity to reunite with my body and then I had to become the ruler of Hell so i took a bit longer than everyone else” 

“can we trust you?” Steve asks standing beside peter and doctor strange 

“No you cant, i saved the planet for nothing” Loki states sarcastically he then sighs becoming serious “i’ll admit it, i was under mind control when i tried to take over new york but i knew what i was doing, i couldnt say anything because thanos and his people had a psychic connection with me” he looks at Thor knowing he remembers the fight on Stark Tower but he flinched when stark places something around his wrists “this will disable your magic and shock you if you try and leave the building, just until we trust you” Stark adds on when he sees Loki tense “in the meantime you can train people” Stark gets up and downs his drink placing the cup in the sink “i’ll have FRIDAY and Happy make up your room” and Stark walks out almost everyone follows behind him excluding Natasha, Banner,Wanda and Thor. “you so much as act suspicious and i’ll kill you”  Nat snarls

“you think you can win against me?” Loki smirks looking up from the little silver bracelets around his wrists “i got you down 10 minutes ago” she smiles and Loki loves that the smug look on her face will be gone soon

“i don’t favour hitting girls” he leans back placing an arm over the back of the couch and smirks when Natasha gets up and leaves

“what the hell is there to do around here?” he asks “can’t use my magic so what can i do?” he looks to Thor  but his brother still looks kind of shocked   ”it’s no fair putting me up against you if you can bend yourself at 90 degrees” Natasha pants as Loki holds out a hand for her “your enemies don’t care what’s fair” she takes it as he pulls her up with ease “to them it’s simply an advantage” she frowns at him while raising her fists and getting back into a fighting stance and without hesitation she throwing punches faster than a storm but Loki has no problem dodging them. As he dodges one he grabs her arm and moves so that hes standing beside her, her arm straight out and pressed against his chest he pushes down on her chest at the same time that he kicks her legs out from under her but before she can hit the ground he moves his left hand to the back of her head saving her from smacking it into the floor i don’t know how weak these mortals are.He lets go leaving her on the ground panting once again “you’re not skilled enough for me to train” he states walking over to a boxing ring and sitting on the edge “is that a challenge?” she raises her brow easily standing up with confidence “no, it’s a fact” Loki says seriously and Tony barges in “he’s right Cruella DeVille” clearly a jab at her platinum blonde and auburn hair, he points towards the door “can you take off please? i have to talk to Rock of Ages alone” Tony whispers once hes close enough to Natasha and she glares at Loki not wanting to leave him alone with Tony but does as asked.  

“you look weird in normal clothes” Tony states once Natasha’s gone studying his grey sweater, black sweatpants and green t-shirt peeking out from under the sweater “you came to talk about my clothes?” Loki asks but Tony dismisses him waving his hands “no no no no” he places his hands in his pockets “just came to warn you that if you so much as act suspicious” he points towards the ceiling “i’ve asked FRIDAY to crank the heat up in whatever room you’re in until you pass out” and in response Loki raises his wrists looking to the silver bracelets “lucky i cant do anything then” Tony smirks “trust is a two way street Diva, i’m willing to trust you so you gotta give us something” he paces a bit “i let you snap these on me without killing you” he raises a wrist again “if i recall, if it weren’t for me you would be dead right now” Loki leans back against the boxing rings barrier and smirks a bit at the shock on Tonys face “what?” he asks after a second “you’re almighty Doctor Strange didn’t tell you?” Loki leans forward resting his elbows on his knees and for a second Tony can see 2012 Loki “you were supposed to snap” Loki states lowly and Tony feels numb.

“how did you know?” Doctor Strange directs at Loki who’s sitting calmly on the couch despite the chaos in the room but Tony interrupts “ah, don’t try and change the subject Bonnie Bennett” Doctor Strange frowns in confusion obviously not knowing who that is “you knew i was going to die thats why you gave Thanos the time stone?” Tony asks and states at the same time “Loki was already dead, you were the last hope” Strange says solemnly and it pisses Tony off “don’t try and act like you feel guilty, you would do anything if it meant saving the planet including letting my daughter grow up without a father” Strange didn’t know what to say because he couldn’t deny it, so instead he turned to Loki who still sat calmly on the couch “how did you know?” he asks no emotion and Loki leans forward slightly eyeing him “how long have you been studying Mystic Arts?” Strange looks up in thought and quickly answers “almost 4 years now” Loki looks disappointed like he expected longer “i’ve been studying every single form of magic for over a thousand years, you really think i haven’t mastered prophecy? my mother was the goddess of prophecy” he leans back relaxing and he looks surprised when Thor speaks to him, they haven’t really talked since he got back “mother taught you prophecy? Loki nods with an “mhmm” 

“Mother” Thor asked walking up to his mother who sat on the bench on a balcony “Why do people hate Loki?” he asks taking a seat beside her, Thor was a curious kid “i don’t think they hate him they’re just-” she paused looking out towards the scenery of Asgard while thinking “biased” and Thor looks at her in pure confusion “well my dear son, It is taught that men are meant to fight, that they’re supposed to be strong and at the head of battle, but your brother fights differently, he doesnt go for throwing punches, he prefers things to be quick because he doesn’t like fighting that much so he uses magic as an advantage” she says looking her teen son in the eye “and because of that people think he’s weak or scared but you know what I think” she asks and Thors anger turns back to curiosity “what” he smiles widely making Frigga smile too “I think your brother can be the best fighter there is, i think he can be a healer, a sorcerer and that’s what makes him special, thats what makes people fear and loathe him”

“I only use it when needed” Loki looks at him and Thor tries to hide the fact that he zoned out by trying to make it look like he was thinking “the sun will shine on us again” and Loki doesn’t look ashamed or mad he simply smirks with a nod “all of you are needed for that” Loki looks at everyone in the room “so where are the Gaurdians?” Loki ignores Thors frown because Loki shouldn’t know about them and Steve shakes his head with his arms crossed obviously weary of Loki “we don’t know” Tony walks out “they went to find Flash Gordons woman” Natasha rolls her eyes “can’t you ask that Bifrost keeper of yours if he can see them?” she questions and Scott budges in “yeah lets just go to the new Asgard and ask” he says enthusiastically “Heimdall is dead” Loki and Thor say at the same time and Loki frowns at it “Thanos killed him for sending Banner back when Thanos destroyed our ship” he gets up and heads into the connecting kitchen behind the couch Loki is on “so we have no way of finding them” he says grabbing a beer out of the fridge and Loki wants to fucking stab him “Heimdall wanted me to be his successor awhile ago” Loki says turning to face Thor and he sees his brother almost spit out his beer i wish he did “taught me how to see people but im not as good as him, i don’t know if i could see them considering they could be anywhere” Thor takes another swig of his beer “well practice for a couple days” he says nonchalantly and walks away 

“he’s probably just not used to you being here after 5 years” he hears Tony behind him and senses how close he is, he spins around catching Tony’s hand before the man can pat his back in comfort “try and touch me again” Loki snarls squeezing Tonys hand so tight the man cant help but groan lightly “and i’ll break all 14 knuckles in your hand” Loki stands up and let’s go of Tony hand harshly walking out and leaving everyone stunned he was making such good progress “im gonna kill him” Natasha says happily going to follow after him but of course Steve has to stop her “even without magic he’s stronger than us” Nastasha frowns at him he looks at Tony still rubbing his left hand in pain “Thor crushed your suit with his bare hands, I imagine Loki can snap those bracelets off like nothing, we shouldn’t push him” 

The next day Loki sat quietly on the couch reading a book, Thor at the other end, Peter sitting in an armchair playing with a colourful cube and Bruce in the other writing things down in a notebook, “hey i’ve always wondered” Peter says and Loki looks up to see him looking right at him and Thor “Asgardians dont speak english so how can we communicate?” he fiddles with the colourful cube in his hands waiting for an answer “it’s called an AllSpeak, it allows Asgardians to speak any and every language” Loki says still flipping through his book he resists flinching when stark bursts through the door with a clap a group of people following in behind him “ok meeting in session” he says with a smile “cap please stop fucking around with mewmew we know you’re worthy” steve stops and drops mjolnir before anyone can see him and gets serious “its mjolnir” Thor retorts and Tony brushes him off “we got a signal on Rockets ship, they got here about 20 minutes ago so they should be here soon” Natasha sits down beside Loki careful not to touch him “and,Peter” the teen straightens up in his seat “Loki is going to train you” Loki doesn’t react but he hears the kid let out a nervous laugh “im just a kid i can’t win against a god” Loki can see Peter point at him out of the corner of his eye and he resists the urge to snap his wrist nobody here is going to hurt you, you are fine, you are safe “you’re the only other person that can compare to his agility and flexibility, not to mention you got spidey sense” Peter raises his eyebrows looking at Steve like he’s lost it “he’s a sorcerer, surely he can block me from sensing him” Loki smirks and closes his eyes concentrating, drowning out the  conversation and once he thinks he’s got it he whips his book at Peter and the teen catches it a split second before it hits him, letting out a breath that he held “Loki!” Thor says like he’s scolding a child “guess i can’t block you out” he holds out a hand towards Peter and he looks confused “the book?” and Peters face drops in realization before throwing the book back to Loki “what if you could block him out?” Steve says and Loki can hear the anger “then a book would have hit him in the face” Loki states going back to reading “someones coming” Peter states looking towards the door the second he feels the hairs on his neck stand up “oh it’s probably the Gaurdians” Tony says sitting beside Peter and he’s right when the door busts open 2014 Gamora, Nebula, Drax, Rocket, Mantis, Quill and Groot walk in “My friends” Thor gets up happily to walk over to them and Loki hides his jealousy, Thors been out of it for days so he turns to see who got his bubbly brother bubbly again and then Loki couldnt breathe, he felt like mjolnir was sitting on his chest when the hammer was clearly nowhere near him, he could barely hear, he felt like he was being held underwater “you’ve heard of my brother” he hears Thor through the drowning in his ears and no matter how much Loki wants to run he cant panicking, trying to swim back to the surface, screaming for help but nothing comes, “Loki?” Gamora says like she couldn’t believe her eyes, she couldnt believe he was alive is the first thing in Lokis mind “you know him?” Thor turns to Gamora frowning he feels his nerves turn to ice, ironic since he’s a Frost Giant “my father made me torture him” Gamora says quietly and Loki can hear and feel her remorse but that isnt enough. That doesnt make up for the 547 days that he was tortured, the 547 days he begged for his brother and mother, the 547 days that he thought he was safe only to be met with Thanos and Gamora again and again, the 547 days he tried to keep himself together, the 500 days that he kept his pride together, the 47 days that he wished for death, the 47 days that he prayed to any God that it would be over soon it doesnt make up for the 547 days of pure agony and suffering, filled with illusions, blood, broken promises and so much pain. 

He must’ve froze in shock because Bruce snaps him out of it “Loki? hey?” Loki looks at Bruce trying to control his breathing then back to Gamora, Nebula and Thor, he couldn’t do it. He snapped the bracelet off his left wrist like glass, Natasha grabbed his wrist trying to stop him but he twisted her wrist causing her to fall to the floor and before anyone else could get close enough the second bracelet was gone and so was he. “what the fuck just happened” Natasha said sitting up on the floor “Thor go check your brothers room” Tony points at him Thor looks between him and Gamora obviously trying to process everything “go!” Tony yells and finally Thor listens ignoring his heartbeat in his ears “Loki wouldn’t be in his room” Steve spits “we gotta check the perimeter, ask Valkyrie to check around Asg-“ 

“No, Loki wants us to trust him and if that’s true then he’ll be in his room” Tony emphasizes the last part walking out past everyone to the elevator “FRIDAY check for Loki on the cameras, get back to me as soon as you find him” He doesnt look at anyone as the elevator doors close “Yes boss” FRIDAY says automatically.

continuing on AO3

[bubblepunk99s]

Amara

Dust motes danced in the airy light of Anis’ study as he shifted through a storm of essences.

He had called his desk an ‘aromatic apothecary’. Amara had dubbed it a ‘scent bench’. Racks of essence bottles curved around him as he furiously scribbled formulas on to wafers of paper. Occasionally he would un-cork one, releasing a burst of scent that filled the room before dissipating just as quickly- rose oil, hyacinth, slowly burning sandalwood, even that metal stench Amara had always associated with the Void gates back home. Anis would take stock of it then return to his scribbling.

Another uncorking. A fierce note of burning pepper-bush flooded Amara’s nostrils. Then it was gone. More scribbling.

“That was a good one.”  

“Hmm.” Anis sounded unconvinced. “Bit too overpowering, might need a modifier, maybe a citrus ester or a floral one. But that’s in my rayiha so I’ve been told and I don’t think it’s very becoming of me to aim for a signature just yet...”

He continued on in this manner. Amara really didn’t mind. She’d learned a lot over the past week thanks to Anis’ ramblings- his role as a student in the school of extracting (itself part of the house of sciences) the nature of his craft, the Soljin’s nature as part of a greater whole- one of four peoples that had split apart from days spent as Void-wandering nomads, different in many ways but bound by the faith that had united them so long ago- the faith of midãd, the pursuit of the divine substance. Anis considered his work to be the greatest expression of that history, crafting multi-layered scents from countless differing essences.

“So, how’s your work coming along?”

“Oh.” Rising herself from her stupor, Amara glanced back at her sketches. Though Anis had provided a desk to study at right next to a disused alembic, her mind had been elsewhere. It was with Tia and the others now searching for ingredients in the shops and markets. Ingredients for Met’s...treatment.

“Something is in you.” She had said to her, sitting her down in the lovers’ small home. “Call it a baran, call it kaba, call it whatever you like. Just know it isn’t getting out unless we force it out.”

“A...” Amara remembered. “The bolt.”

“Yes, the bolt. The one you were struck by. It came from the god-grounds.”

“You knew about that?!” Tia had been aghast

“I sensed something in her when we shook hands. You telling me about the storm destroying your district confirmed my suspicions. Why do you think I chose to let you stay after your friend’s treatment?”

“So, you were keeping things from us.” Udana said. “Why should we trust you now?”

“It’s not about trust. It’s about necessity. You think the wights you met in the desert were bad? Whatever’s in you now is far older, far darker. I don’t know how it got into you but I know I’m the only one in this city that can get it out. You need more than a doctor, you need someone who understands the dead.”

Silence. Then Khedes had spoken up.

“We can help you.”

“Amara?”

Amara blinked. “Sorry... just thinking about-”

“About your condition?”

She nodded. Setting his work aside, Anis came up and laid a hand on her shoulder. Thankfully he wasn’t shocked back 10 meters.

“I’m sorry I can’t help you more. That way you wouldn’t have to rely on that frightful pair.” He rubbed his neck. “If only I could be more like En-Kindi.”

“Who?”

“En-Kindi, the founder of the school of extracting, part of the house of sciences first master’s council. He could do everything: perfume, metallurgy, astronomy, cryptography. A true polymath! He once said that “time exists only with motion.  Body with motion, motion with body. If there is motion there is necessarily body, if there is body there is necessarily motion.”

“How does that relate to all my problems?”

“It means if you keep moving forward then things will definitely work out in the end!”

They both chuckled at that. Then awkward silence resumed.

“You know” Anis continued. “He also said we should devote ourselves to the truth. Always keep looking for it, even if it came from peoples distant and nations different from us. I think he approve of you coming all the way out here...and that he would want me to help you.”

Amara gave a gentle, tired smile. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

Anis smiled back. He was about to say something more when suddenly there was a wrapping at the door. Perplexed, he went and opened it. He returned with a small wooden box. Lifting its lid revealed 4 small perfume bottles and a note with 4 words in the Soljinn script written on it. Amara recognised them as street names.

Anis’ smile faded.

“Come on. Time I showed you the other part of my job.”

Kuru’s house of sciences was an alternating mix of interior and exterior spaces. Shadowed hallways would lead to fragrant courtyards bordered by rounded pillars of Aban-Sad stone. Its student body a mix of promising young scholars swelled by the patronage of established academics and those who had been sent by less established families to rise through scholarship and intellectual endeavour. Anis was one such student.

“Wish you could have seen things when everyone was here. Boys would wear off-world jeans under their work robes. We dared each other to flip them up when to get a glimpse of what style they were trying out.”

“Did you really?”

Anis blinked. “Please don’t assume every strapping young Soljinn man is as socially awkward as me.”

That of course had changed with the Corvus’ arrival. The school was backed by public funding, along with that of the social elite- bankers, merchants and military officers. When the Corvus assumed command that wellspring quickly dried up. Students and teachers alike dropped out, some seeking to get jobs as translators and scientists, others hurling themselves against the walls of the Nest in protest.

So now the school Amara walked through was a ghost of its former self. A time when the sound of scratching pens on paper and all manner of scientific, philosophical and theological discourse that fell under the banner of falsafa- Natural studies- filled the air. A time when so many Rayihas joined together it was hard to tell when one person’s soul ended and another’s began.

“That’s one sad story.” Amara said sympathetically, as they head out through the school’s main embossed arch.

“Not half as sad as where we’re going, I’m afraid.”

Where they were headed was a street in the city’s old quarter. En-Yaqut it was called, the birthplace of some of the city’s finest biographers and renowned for its scroll-stores, literary cafes and abundant collections of ornate manuscripts. After all, was it not said that the ink of the quill was holier than the blood of the martyr?

Amara couldn’t see that beauty now. As they followed the street downhill, the air began to smell of smoke. Shutters covered the front of shops, emblazoned with graffiti of a bird spreading its wings between two trees. A young boy flicked rocks at these shutters, which quickly burst into flames, alighted by security lasers.

“Oh no...”

Amara turned to see what Anis was looking at. Standing at a bend in the road was a charred husk of a building. It looked like it had come from Amara’s ruined district, though it stood alone instead of being surrounded by others like it. A crowd had gathered, some dousing the charred walls with water jets.

“Not Shaba...”

“You!” An old woman cried, in black robes with embroiled cuffs. “You from the house?”

“I am... I am.” Anis confirmed. “Please Shaba...the owner of this place...he isn’t...”

The lady shook her head. “Some of his clients were translators for the Corvus. A fight broke out over it and then the fire started. He didn’t survive.”

Anis fell to his knees, his breathing ragged. Amara knelt with him.

“A friend?”

He nodded shakily.

Amara didn’t need to know any more. But she needed to snap Anis out of this.

“Anis, we came here to do something. Do you remember?

Another nod. With trembling hands, he took out one of the vials and poured its contents on to the ground, murmuring what sounded like a prayer under his breath.

Slowly a rayiha surrounded them. It smelled like drying paint and fresh parchment. Amara almost thought she saw it, as a hazy silhouette of a man standing before them.

Anis seemed to glimpse it to.

“You always were so accepting, Shaba.” He turned to the woman. “Make sure the Clerics find his body and give it the rites. We have others to see to.”

He then swerved back up the way they had come. Amara nearly had to run to keep up with him.

“Perfumes are an accompaniment to someone’s soul. Naturally they can be used to guide and heal lost ones. When a body is prepared for the rites, we provide perfumes to guide the rayiha back to it.”

He gave Amara a gentle, tired smile.

“The house of sciences may be fading, but that line of work keeps me occupied a lot nowadays.”

Why had they come?

To dethrone tyrants of course! The rulers of Kuru had become depraved and needed removing. Had they not rounded up dissident scholars, removed them from public office? Had they not charged exorbitant fees for the stone of Kuru, exploiting them over the years? Had they not acted to the detriment of every non-Soljinn in the city and punished those who practiced tolerance? Men like Shaba?

“Well that was a fucking lie.” Anis growled.

The Corvus’ defeat of these men- the feared mihna lawgivers- had been like something of out of a legend. The air had suddenly filled with white light. Spears of it leapt down to strike the lawgivers palace. Then ship after ship had floated down to continue the assault.

Such talk there had been! Anti-regime cells had gathered in the coffee shops whispering of plans that would never see fulfillment. Some wrote and translated advisory letters to the Corvus, others hoped that translation schools would be built to speed negotiations between the people and the invaders.

Such dreams- of translation, of communication- had died swiftly when the Corvus demonstrated how they translated with their first routine survey.

So, the days went on. Anti-Corvus groups making a scene, the Corvus themselves appearing out of nowhere to make a bigger mess of it. Men like Shaba- known for his tolerance of all peoples and the generosity of his spirit- killed in the crossfire, while others like Anis trailed after the violence, hoping to help in whatever way they could.

“So, you still don’t know why they are here?” Amara asked. By the time they reached the House of Science’s entrance the sun was setting. A day spent attending similar sites to the one on En-Yaqut street had left her drained. She would need to talk to Tia tonight.

“Don’t know don’t care.” Anis’ voice had seemed to age over the day, becoming as rough as Met’s at times “I’m just trying to survive.”

Just trying to survive. Made her little treasure hunt seem silly by comparison. Then Amara reminded herself she was doing it to help her own people survive as well.

Turning to the path to Met’s house, Amara thought about the violence she had seen here- how it could spread so easily to her own home, how many homes it had already taken. She thought about the artefacts lying discarded in the God-grounds and the wreckage of Shaba’s slowly burning shop.

As she did, the taste of electricity filled her mouth and goosebumps spread across her skin.

[joslynleilani]

Skating Fiasco - Jack Avery (part 2)

You headed out to the front porch to find your best friends car waiting in the driveway. Heading straight in, you buckle your seatbelt.

The radio was on and the first song that you hear is your all time 1d favorite, What Makes You Beautiful

"Ayy look whose on the radio. Just in time right?" Your best friend says.

"Yep!" You say. To be honest, the 1d song only calms 75% of what you're worrying about right now. You're excited but also afraid of the hangout. I mean..its happened a bunch of times, but it still scares you. Especially when Jack asked you personally instead of in the group chat. And also the fact that your best friend stated that she got the information from the gals instead of from Jack himself...

Gosh suspicion suspicions😭

When finally arriving at the house, you and your best friend rushed to the others, mainly talking to the girls.

"Heyyy"

You all greeted each other.

It was that moment you realised that all your girl friends were wearing mostly short stuff. Well not all. But your eyes focused on your best friend who probably came to show off her legs. You've always had that pit feeling of envy, eventhough you're trying your hardest not to.

Don't think about it too much. What you would always say to yourself.

"Where are the others?" Your best friend asks to one of your other friends.

"Oh you mean the boys? They are inside. Oh look they coming out now."

You then noticed something, or that was just you overreacting. Your best friend starts fixing her hair and tryna pose. She actually always does this. Although it annoys you, you can't help but think that its probably because of jealousy.

"Heyy you made itt" Jack came over first to greet us.

"Yep as planned. Now what do we do?" Your best friend replies.

"I dunno. Just have fun I guess. We just ordered pizza and we are planning to create our own drinks later."

"Sounds fun."

We then proceeded to hug each other. Quite random youknow. But thats just how it works. By the time Jack came to u, ur heart stopped. You tried to make eye contact with him, and u eventually did. But he only gave a small smile, and now you don't know how to feel.

Only friends. Only. Friends.

"Wayhooooo!" The other boys shout as they hugged us again. You hugged each and one of them. Your feelings also fluttered when seeing Zach, honestly you just love these feelings. It's amazing. But it can kill you alive.

Soon people were all doing their own things. Some were taking pictures with the sunset view, some were just partykng around, some were playing chase, and one (you) was just standing around with a drink in hand. The drink was something you made yourself by mixing all the juices. Honestly it doesn't taste that well, but you proceed to drink anyways rather than being awkward.

You watch as Jack played catch with the girls, which includes your best friend, along with other guys too. You watch as he went to catch her and they both giggled uncontrollably. Eventually everyone joined in on the catching game. Except you. You didn't know how to chime in without seeming awkward. So you decided to make another drink out of all the juices around.

Gosh it does seem lonely here. I mean..there's a tv...nah.

You decide to take a look around the house, eventhough you've done it a bunch of times before. Wouldn't hurt to take a look again right?

You seem to always get drawn to Jack's room. Although you've never really entered it before since you're afraid on what you'll find. Well noones around anyways right..??

Nah..gotta stay safe. You decide to take a look at the playroom, where there is a tv specified for game stations, arcades, all the things you can imagine to play with. But nothing interested you. Your eyes landed on a skateboard, and it reminded you of the dream you had.

Without realising, you find yourself placing the skateboard on the ground and placing your foot on top of it.

Well this is scary. You made sure you had space and also something to hold on to.

Okay, maybe this wouldnt be so hard. Just a lil' kick...and..

Your life flashed before your eyes, and the skateboard drifted away while you held on to a shelf to regain balance. At least you didn't fell to the floor. That would've hurt badly.

Welp. Not doin that again. Everyone was still outside playing catch and laughing around. So you took the guts to finally go through Jack's room. He actually shares with Daniel, but you can tell whose side is whose.

He left his phone on the bed and you see lots of notifications popping up. Both girl and boy names. 😟nothing to feel special about here.

You look around some more, taking a look at a few baby pictures of him with his family. It made you giggle even if at times you couldn't tell if that was him. Then you heard footsteps. In the hallways. Oh no.

Um..well there isn't any place to hide so you stood there frozen, casually pretending to look for something.

Then...Jack showed up with a skateboard in hand, the same skateboard you used before, you think. He looked a bit surprised but then said "oh. It's you. You almost had me there haha. What are you doing here?"

"I um..I'm looking for a band aid." You lied.

"Oh omygosh are you okay? Did you harm yourself?" He says stepping closer in worry, also putting his skateboard next to the nearest table.

"Oh no no nothing I um...it's all good now."

He now had a serious look on his face with his hand out. "Show me the wound."

Oh gosh.

"Um no seriously its fine."

"(Y/N)...you sure?"

"Yeah I'm fine. What are you doing here?"

"I came here to get my skateboard. The boys wanted to play around. Come with?"

"Uh..no thanks. Go on ahead. I can't really do skateboarding."

"Oh come onn I'll teach you. It'll be fun. The others barely know either anyways. Come on."

"I uh.." you were speechless. All you could think of was the dream and the coincidence of all this. But you didn't want to embarass yourself by raising any hopes so you shook your head with a smile.

"Oh well then..i'll be downstairs. Anything else you're looking for up here?"

"Oh..no. I just felt like looking around. And happened to end up here."

"Oh okay. Nothing much here anyways. See ya downstairs."

[ourreferences02]

Bella Entry Two

life is so lonely. it isnt fair. but nothing is fair, dont tell me that, diary. just kidding. i wouldnt personify an inanimate object. not that you even are a diary. just a fucking app on my phone. notes, they call you. i dont think im using you properly.

richard is always spending his time with wed. its sad, really. its like shes all he lives for. fucker cant be happy without her.

and then theres calum. he doesnt do jack shit except bash and insult everybody. he doesnt realize how right he is about me every time he calls me emo.

leia just... leias lucky. she has two people for her all the time. theo and luke. its funny because theo is sixteen and shes nine but theyre so close. and then theres me, only having one friend whos obsessed with horses. and she doesnt know anything about me. anything meaningful, anyway. leia also has luke. i swear shes gotten a boyfriend before me. im not surprised. shes a bright, pretty girl. and im the opposite. shes so lovable, and im so... im like that one stuffed animal that you have in the back of your closet thats missing an eye. funny because i am in the closet. ha. ha.

i guess i have my mom. she isnt caught up in other peoples shit. but shes always eating. she never stops. i cant blame her for it.

i barely know what i look like anymore. my mirror is covered up, and i only actually look in the bathroom mirror to brush my teeth. and even then, my eyes are only looking at my mouth. well what about showering, you ask. its amazing how many things you can do with your eyes closed.

i never understood bdsm porn. i get liking pain, but still. why would you want your ass slapped to the point where its all bruised?

i counted all my cuts. theres around forty three. but some of them i went over multiple times. i dont remember which.  thats what i did today. its getting harder and harder to conceal them. sometimes when i have my arm raised, my sleeve falls down to my elbow. and eventually, its going to get warm. i dread that day.

gary called me a hideous black sheep. he then proceeded to tell me no one could see my tits through my baggy sweaters. i had forgotten i even had any. eyes closed when showering, remember? eddie joined in. he said no one likes girls who dont talk. he said no one likes the girl who doesnt smile. i didnt need anyone to confirm my suspicions.

if i ever did date anybody, i feel like theyd be a fat and ugly dwarf. probably a rapist. like alexa. everyone else gets to swoon over celebrities or people way older than them. meredith, a 23 year old isnt going to touch you. its called pedophilia.

the loneliness is killing me. i cant take it anymore. i took a couple of quizzes. apparently im half lesbian and severely depressed. you cant be half lesbian.

i dont see the point of me existing. im insignificant. there a 7.5 billion people on earth. there are 100 billion stars in the milky way galaxy. and there are 100 billion galaxies that a telescope can see.

isnt the only reason im here to reproduce? god. imagine that. bella vail having sex. with a sex doll, maybe. my poor kids would have the worst mother in history.

richards dreaming again. probably muttering weds name. but wed, i love you! fuck me wed! oh fuck youre so good at sucking dick! pfft. even he isnt normal enough to say that. at least he has someone to love. i have a razor blade. 

i wonder what my funeral would look like.

[oswednesday]

sablestine replied to your post “just drafts up an entire nadia route re-write hhjhghg”

i would love to hear

okay omg 

the upright would be all about keeping nadia grounded but connected to her feelings/intuition, where the reverse would be handling stuff isolated and unconnected to reality, with a balance of encouraging her to persue her own interests as well as maintaining your id

so it would be waay slower for one, but she’d start out like that iron tyrant you heard gossip about (like she had no power over anything but the palace was run so she takes that out on everyone around her and retires to her room frequently so for the first few chapters your interactions are seldom between like that actual investigation) you join her that first night and she lowkey threatens asra and you with jailing like vague i think magic should more regulated, maybe even outlawed, ect, should you not compile to the investigation, you work along side one of the courtiers depending on your actions at the salon (like,,,its literally valdemars job title but theyre like peace sign fades out about it) its easiest to get valerius

your early options with nadia is like when do i get paid/i dont need your money (and she’s all like i can do more than pay you and starts showering you with things and attention), i want to wear my own clothes thanks (or you can wear them), i dont need a title (she offers you like grand investigator or w/e and you can take it or not), your time will be split between nadia and the investigation like she’ll be like come bathe with me, come walk with me, come enjoy private time with me that’ll make you miss out on clues or getting to talk to witnesses or even bumping, (taking nadia’s invite also alerts valerius’ suspicions and will accuse her in julian’s stead) (see also: valerius feeling like nadia is even a threat to his power felt soo out of place and also like if she’s starting out Ungrown he wouldnt need to be like oh shes in our way)

the like romance rising action is where you dream of her coming to your shop, but you Feel different, wiser, stronger, more whole then the night asra left as she knocks on your door and you wake up , realizing its happening irl, she’s all like i had a nightmare and came to you : c idk why you dont even like me (i think there’d be a reverse version of that where she wakes you up to Test your loyalty to her, i think in a re-write it would be cool if it was like each card had the potiental to be upright or reverse!) and youre like,,,,i dont know you, youre just the countess,,,and then she starts sharing Emotions with you (in the test one you can go with it or protest when something goes too far, and thats probably like giving her everything asra has given you including the cards)

as she opens up to her you can either encourage her in an unproductive way like Wow! I Cant Believe They Did That! Comfort Her and like upright ones are like Wow! That’s Messed Up Have You Ever Spoken To Them About It? Why Do You Think They Did That? like i think its important to agree with someone emotionally? even if its irrational? but then like work through that, like what would you do about this if you could? what can you do right now? and nadia could be all like but thats how lucio was like Reaction to her Inaction, then the upright/reverse balance would be balancing that like nadia i cant tell you what to do, more than being like Punish Portia!

then depending on what you did early on and how much time you spent with valerius nadia gets arrested in julian’s stead, you learn about the hanged man thing and need to do a magic switcharoo (reverse ending paths)

upright is like nadia proceeds over the court and promises to put an end to unjust laws, sentencing julian to like live his life out under house arrest but julian requests himself to be hung and she respects his wishes as the countess of the city

then the reverse path has you and her doing astral realm things, basically everything that happens in the nadia upright canon one Except when people see her theyre like enraged by it! wasnt she hung! oh so shes royalty she can get out of that lmao! were we fooled ect, (your options are basically to avoid all of this but i think there’d be chances to talk everyone down and get back to upright outcomes maybe?) your confrontation with lucio happens in the collosium where vlastomil sentences him to death for being overdue on his debts and nadia can be all Wow About Time and vlastomil is like Hmm you Are in charge now arnt you? perhaps we can work out a deal, you can i and nadia is all like, ill Think about it, you and nadia get married in the heriophants realm after killing valerius so no like redemption there (also leaving vevsuiva with no clear and easy order of rule after the consol ((like its probably valdemar which LMAO) then you two bind the devil and ponder over all the work to do and its like, lets stay here awhile i dont want to face anyone, and you two like wonder the realms where your feelings take you with a cg of nadia’s like outstretched becoming owl-y hand in the light of a pink moon

 the end

and the upright path is like you and nadia spend no time together in the magical realm,instead its like listening to others as well as being punctual to meetings (like, i think we should meet with the court right away instead of playing mind games) and delegating, like between portia, her sisters, asra, you and eventually julian

you, asra and julian, while portia helps nadia with lucio and muriel stands guard other the others bodies, in the real world nadia confronts her family, they talk it out and hear each other and her sisters offer their help to nadia and accept being told what to do by her, with their help they calm down the courtiers and seek common ground (like doctor sister and nahara tell valdemar about diseases outside of vesusia they’ve been in their travels and they like are more interested in that then The Plan and joins them to talk about it, nasmira sister chills out with valdemar, navaha manages to tire vulgora out with like dance fighting, natiqa hangs out with volta whose on your side at this point but is like freaking out, your parents and oldest sister agree to find valerius)after all that nadia passes tf out and joins you all, you help volta in the temperance releam and then lucio confrontation happens in the colleseium where he still is like um? free me? make a deal? hello? i want to be good! and vlastomil proceeds over his trial, where he’s sentenced to death for failing to pay his debts, theres an option to attempt to stop it but even if you take it (there’s a strong leading to accepting due process) the world shifts to the heriphant realm and you deal with valerius then finally all four of you see the mysterious, hard to reach high priestess, instead of being like friendly out right she stands in the way, and some confessions have to be made to all four of you before seeing the realm and her clearly (asra hide your past from you because he didnt want to lose you as well as his past with julian and nadia and he doesnt understand why youre not WITH him, julians did want to just die or be whisked away and he doesnt even know why he bothered to come back, nadia knew her actions were self centered, you were uncomfortable by nadia’s initial advances and wanted to be yourself with her (see the keep my own clothes options before hand) and that you and here were going too fast) (the lazeret and the power happens here) once thats all clear and youre all trusting each others guts, the high priestess is there and offers you all guidance and advice and tea, you all head off to the devil and bind him together

afterwards, nadia has stepped down from her place and established a republic, the people vote julian as the senator, portia has been titled as the consul, nadia has "retired" to a public servant incharge of the board of education, she has a cute little cottage home in the country side where she comes into town on horseback, asra and muriel are away on a magical adventure to find his parents, they check in every now and again, in your dreams, they look happy, you close up shop to bring nadia a meal you packed for the two of you, you and she have been going steady since agreeing to take it slow, every day you learn more about her and about yourself, you open the door to the newly built library and an owl flights through it, out into the darkening sky, you see nadia and she's radiant as she stands up behind the desk and smiles at you

the end!!

[survivormidwayatoll]

RITES OF PASSAGE (JURY)

Andrew

sorry for voting you out but it had to be done or my other potential allies like ash and sara and ricky could have potentially prioritized you over me and I’m strategically needy so ya ass had to go but ily <3

Ash

MY DUO. MY LOVE. You were a shady bitch sometimes you know that ? Honestly had I known you were getting blindsided I probably would've voted you too. But you're my best friend and I loved being your duo

Billy

Dude… wtf happened? I know what you can do, and I’ve seen how you can talk your way out of any situation. So how in the world did you get out this early? I’m sad that we didn’t get to play together sans being on a tribe (that meant nothing) together. But I’m glad we did get to play again.

Shea

I was so happy to see you go because it was you or me, and man, to see you walk out was just like validation, like LOOK AT THAT SHEA, YOU CAN DO SOMETHING IN THIS GAME! I'm sorry it had to be you but it was great to have the blindside of a strong veteran player under my belt. Love you!

I wish I could have stayed in a lot longer, but I’m proud of what i was able to accomplish. It was so much fun crushing dreams every round in the warzone like… Billy you missed out! I’m also glad I made some new friends WOOOOOO

#ItsAWarzoneItsAWarzone

Andrew

im not gonna get all sappy with ya but playing this game with you for the time that we did was kinda super awesome. we did THAT finding the pistol and idol and keeping them hidden from these shady mofos. I wanted to be chaotic duo with you so bad but I’m hoping we get another chance in the future. getting to finally play a duos season with you was super fuckin awesome and i couldn’t have asked for anything more, but we will co-win our next season <3 giraffes RISE

Ash

I'm not gonna lie I don't remember why we voted you out and I also don't remember if I even went to that tribal so sorry

Billy

Awe, this was our chance! My Malibuddy! We were FINALLY going to play together and actually do the thing, but divine intervention took a turn for the worst. Another time I guess, keep being cool bud.

Shea

I'm very sorry for how you had to leave this game, I got filled in on the circumstances and it was probably the only time in this game I was actually emotional, because I felt for you. I hope you're doing better.

Andrew

rip i wasn’t even there but i aint gonna lie I’m glad you were severed from jordan. was i hoping it would be jordan and not you? yes! was i mad y’all got separated anyway. no! but you did get done dirty tru. ily wife <3

Ash

your blindside hurt. A lot. That was when the game really fell apart for me. I did manage to pick up the pieces but your presence was severely missed

Billy

I love you as a person, everything about you is everything I look for in a friend. I’m glad we have each other, and I was so excited that we finally got cast in a PI season where we had the possibility to play together the whole time. I think lines were drawn pretty early, and you and I fell into a weird cross area, and unfortunately, others saw you as a bigger threat than I saw you and they pulled the trigger while I watched. I’m not so innocent, as I consciously helped, but it was not something I ever want to do again, and I hope you understand why I did what I did, even though it was just a vote.

Shea

I love and adore you, I had such a strong connection with you on a personal level and I was so pissed when you got voted off. I hope you're doing well, love you girl, and I can't wait for this game to end so we can TALK MORE and I won't feel like I'll get in trouble

Andrew

i know you had to leave for your own reasons and you know we all respected that <3 you’re amazing and ily and I’m glad we got to align for the time that we did. you’re a star and amazing and deserve the world and if there was one thing that brought this cast together for even a second, it was all of us coming together to show our love and support for you <3

Ash

I love you and I'm beyond glad that you seem to be doing okay

Billy

I don’t have words for how amazing you are. I wouldn’t have asked to have played Dynamic Duos ™ with anyone else, from any other game I had ever played. You’re my best friend, and you’re AMAZING at Survivor and you were making it to the end of this game. There weren’t many people who didn’t want that, and the people who did want you gone would not have gotten past your friends. Had situations not been the way they were (which come first, and you’re so strong and amazing and I love you), you would still be here. Know that. I love you with all of my heart, and I’m so glad that we have a PI legacy together that’s not only iconic, but it’s ours. <3

Shea

Again, really sorry for how you had to leave the game. You were a super nice person to talk to and get to know and I hope you're doing better.

Andrew

GOODBYE SPONGEBOB GOODBYE GOODBYE ngl that blindside where you had an idol in your pocket was WILD but you were playing a really good game that wasn’t even that messy so you were a major contender to win if you got to the end at that point. sorry friend but JORDO OUT!

Ash

Practically my other duo. Thank you so much for being my closest ally throughout the game as well as my closest friend

Billy

You and I had a very similar pre-merge situation. We both didn’t really have to do much, and we were never really in danger pre-merge. While I would have enjoyed working with you, because we found that you and I work well together sometimes, it was apparent our games didn’t match up. I appreciated you keeping me safe, but the problem was there was no trust between us. You were still lying to me (poorly may I add, lol) and I knew that while you had kept me safe the times you did, and I tried to as well, you would have turned on that deal faster than intended. I’m sorry, and ONE DAY we will work together in PI. But you have to trust me for me to trust you…

Shea

I was surprised that you went home, and despite my immediate reaction, It was a good thing for my game because you didn't have my best interest in mind. You're way smarter than people give you credit for and I really enjoyed gaining a friendship in you during this game.

Andrew

THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR PLOTTING AGAINST ME AND THE QUEEN STAYS QUEEN

Ash

You're lovely and I apologize for your blindside

Billy

Karen I love you, you know that. I had your back, and you know that. Until a little birdie told me that you wanted JP in this game and sold out your friends for seemingly no reason. I knew you were coming for me the round you left (and I truly am sorry we didn’t get to talk, I actually was at the movies seeing GOTG2) But I know once your mind is made, especially when Ricky wasn’t there to help talk to you, I knew that once you were set on me leaving, I was leaving unless I targeted you. But outside of the game, you’re absolutely one of my favorite people ever.

Shea

I'm sorry how your vote went down, unfortunately the cycle I really started getting close to you was the cycle where you had to go. I didn't intend it to be like that, I just knew I rather you go than Billy and had to push for that because I didn't think I could ever beat you in the end.

Andrew

okay so i can’t believe I’m saying this but WE ACTUALLY WORKED TOGETHER FOR A SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF TIME ! ever since carson had gone i knew you had my back, but the thing was i don’t think you ever believed i had your’s? seeing as you’re gonna see these after the season, i will say first thing that your suspicions were incorrect. i wish you had trusted me more and i am sorry for flipping the vote on you, but you was a threat.png. i am glad we got to play together again tho and ily <3

Ash

I cannot express how much I hated voting you out. Like, people can vouch. I actually cried. You're so so wonderful and I wish we hadn't been on opposite sides

Billy

Your elimination wasn’t even remotely something I saw coming. When you initially thought you were leaving, you weren’t and I knew that. I didn’t want you scrambling and potentially ruining your chance. But a the rainbow idol bitch slapped you and it was out of left field. I was so glad we got to finally play together, and play as close as we actually got to play. I think it’s good that some of our more “one sided” friendships (Like Kait and Brian) went out early, because it made sure that we stuck with us and not with others. Ilysm, and I’m so so so glad that we finally got our time together.

Shea

You're the reason I'm sitting here, You pushed for me to get on this season and there was a lot of pressure I put on myself, because I didn't want to let myself down but I also didn't want to let you down. We didn't work together, we just couldn't unfortunately, and I knew I wanted you gone and the moment that idol got played and it turned out to be Rose Quartz, I was overjoyed. I'm sorry you had to go out like that, but you had the most twisted tribal I've ever seen and that will never be forgotten. I hope I didn't let you down.

Andrew

WELL FUCK. this is the one thats the saddest and the one that i hate the most. i know we’ve talked everything out so I’m not gonna repeat the super emotional baggage here. you know that i love you to the moon and back and you know that i wanna see you succeed but this game got a really messy blurred line when i heard you wouldnt have minded seeing me go. writing your name down to eliminate was a really surreal experience i hope i never have to feel again. but i am glad our friendship is surviving through this. if a survivor game ever ruined a friendship as good and valued as this one for me i probably wouldnt be able to live with myself knowing i lost someone like you in my life. love ya dood <3

Ash

Honestly I love you and I'm not sure why I was so terrible at talking to you but oh well ! That's what hoenn is for !!

Billy

Our relationship this time was much different than the one in Johto. We were together, on the same tribe, (do the first couple days in the Warzone count?) and playing together from the very first day. I knew what you were thinking (at least I hope I do) for most of the game, and I watched you play and AMAZING GAME. You ran the pre-merge, whether you think you did or not. That was YOUR Warzone, and everyone knew it. You are just as much of a social threat as the rest of us were, because until the last round (The ugliest round) I don’t think anyone saw you as that big of a target. You had a solid alliance, with various people that wanted each other out over you. Which was smart. You knew what to say to what people to pit them against each other and it was an amazing strategy. I solidly believe that you were winning this game. It’s unfortunate that the round you left was a knife fight, and I know we’re good. But I can’t feel bad about writing your name down, when I gave you another option and you still wrote mine down. Nonetheless, I’m so fortunate to have watched you evolve from Rakiura to here. You’re such a great player, and one of my favorite people outside of the game.

Shea

[mantrabay]

Asking The Way 14

"Well to a certain degree yes I really don’t want to impose.

I’m getting used to my deprivation." As this strangely odd conversation began I couldn’t help but notice several books strewn about the passenger seat some of which she was clearly trying to hide. The subject matter varies from Science Fiction to Psychology. There were rather interesting tomes as well on assessing people's personality. “I love talking to people. You are no exception. Recent events are troubling you aren’t they? Your life story is in your face.”

There was an understandable hesitation on my part.

We both shared a curious common dress sense in terms of sombre dull dark shade.

For total strangers this heliacal accord was in evidence.

“Perhaps there are overlapping aspects in our life experience.”

Loose comments ripple off.

“Don't be so defensive.

Maybe we are all looking for something in one sense.

I believe this happens when we lose people or possessions that are close to us. Maybe you aren’t missing anything at all.“ There was a. chilling precision to her words as our probing dialogue continued.

“Wouldnt say its a figment of my imagination though.” An arch retort on my behalf.

A Cat and mouse game was unfolding here with creepy undertones.

“What has happened is very tangible.

Well it is.” I deadpanned.

“Did I realise what I had just said?"

This time to myself. I could now feel the full force of this woman’s stare.

There was something not quite right about this encounter. On closer inspection her accent was surprisingly youthful for her age. From the corner of my eye I did spot alterations.

Unnatural alterations to her countenance.

Quite amazingly an unexpected motorist who intrudes into my life was almost able to choreograph every thought and move I had in mind. A suspicion now occurrs to me.

One dares not even whisper it’s sinister backdrop.

“You have been scrutinising just about everything haven’t you? The books etc.”

I then interrupt. “You forgot to die....I mean dye your hair.”

Those inklings of mine assume an unstoppable momentum. Silence ensues.

I started to shudder. After a brief interlude we both begin to laugh.

Glances were exchanged as hair-raising atmospheres start to segue.

The lady in question was still trying to block my view.

“Somethings are best left unsaid.“ A wicked chuckle emanates from her.

“My name is Martin. Whats yours? Aren’t you going to ask the way?”

Shivering visibly as I spoke. “I think you already do know who I am. People and things can always assume various forms can’t they? Thats always been my core philosophy.

Maybe yours.“

Her tone now from an azure blue sky zone beyond comprehension.

“As for directions I think we both have helped each other in that regard.“

Now I felt glued to the ground.

Without warning this mysterious person drove off as quickly as they had sprung from nowhere.

One couldn’t help hearing a thud even in trance-like phases. In a flash it all made sense.

“Oh gosh.” I shriek. On the green verge to the right of me I saw a book.

“SIGNPOSTS TO ETERNITY - ASKING THE WAY."

VERNA USHERETTE.

This ominous lady bizarrely reverses.

“I’m actually her ghostwriter…. for a lookalike friend.

She dreamed of writing but had no talent.”

This weird twist didn’t stop there.

“You’ve been sending me fan mail all along.”

A smirk widens in tandem with pearlescent eyes.

“I’m really Verna and have been in search of you!”

I must have appeared thunderstruck at this point.

“Oh, Juno is this author’s real name.

“She had delusions regarding her stature.

Juno managed to fake her own death with my endorsement."

Crime scene units could not unravel the “fakes” at play right now.

“By the way in another sense,

If you know what I mean.”

A mysterious woman who finally speeds off is no longer so mysterious.

R.I.P. to quite a of things!

By the way, I ask you as the final episode closes on this mind-boggling incident or has it?

This piece is entirely fictional to the best of my knowledge.

The Author Verna or other characters don’t represent any real person, past or present as far as I know

I’d like to thank everyone on Tumbrl for considering this picture/story combination

Asking The way suite all my own work

[mantrabay]

Asking The Way 15

"Well to a certain degree yes I really don’t want to impose.

I’m getting used to my deprivation." As this strangely odd conversation began I couldn’t help but notice several books strewn about the passenger seat some of which she was clearly trying to hide. The subject matter varies from Science Fiction to Psychology. There were rather interesting tomes as well on assessing people's personality. “I love talking to people. You are no exception. Recent events are troubling you aren’t they? Your life story is in your face.”

There was an understandable hesitation on my part.

We both shared a curious common dress sense in terms of sombre dull dark shade.

For total strangers this heliacal accord was in evidence.

“Perhaps there are overlapping aspects in our life experience.”

Loose comments ripple off.

“Don't be so defensive.

Maybe we are all looking for something in one sense.

I believe this happens when we lose people or possessions that are close to us. Maybe you aren’t missing anything at all.“ There was a. chilling precision to her words as our probing dialogue continued.

“Wouldnt say its a figment of my imagination though.” An arch retort on my behalf.

A Cat and mouse game was unfolding here with creepy undertones.

“What has happened is very tangible.

Well it is.” I deadpanned.

“Did I realise what I had just said?"

This time to myself. I could now feel the full force of this woman’s stare.

There was something not quite right about this encounter. On closer inspection her accent was surprisingly youthful for her age. From the corner of my eye I did spot alterations.

Unnatural alterations to her countenance.

Quite amazingly an unexpected motorist who intrudes into my life was almost able to choreograph every thought and move I had in mind. A suspicion now occurrs to me.

One dares not even whisper it’s sinister backdrop.

“You have been scrutinising just about everything haven’t you? The books etc.”

I then interrupt. “You forgot to die....I mean dye your hair.”

Those inklings of mine assume an unstoppable momentum. Silence ensues.

I started to shudder. After a brief interlude we both begin to laugh.

Glances were exchanged as hair-raising atmospheres start to segue.

The lady in question was still trying to block my view.

“Somethings are best left unsaid.“ A wicked chuckle emanates from her.

“My name is Martin. Whats yours? Aren’t you going to ask the way?”

Shivering visibly as I spoke. “I think you already do know who I am. People and things can always assume various forms can’t they? Thats always been my core philosophy.

Maybe yours.“

Her tone now from an azure blue sky zone beyond comprehension.

“As for directions I think we both have helped each other in that regard.“

Now I felt glued to the ground.

Without warning this mysterious person drove off as quickly as they had sprung from nowhere.

One couldn’t help hearing a thud even in trance-like phases. In a flash it all made sense.

“Oh gosh.” I shriek. On the green verge to the right of me I saw a book.

“SIGNPOSTS TO ETERNITY - ASKING THE WAY."

VERNA USHERETTE.

This ominous lady bizarrely reverses.

“I’m actually her ghostwriter…. for a lookalike friend.

She dreamed of writing but had no talent.”

This weird twist didn’t stop there.

“You’ve been sending me fan mail all along.”

A smirk widens in tandem with pearlescent eyes.

“I’m really Verna and have been in search of you!”

I must have appeared thunderstruck at this point.

“Oh, Juno is this author’s real name.

“She had delusions regarding her stature.

Juno managed to fake her own death with my endorsement."

Crime scene units could not unravel the “fakes” at play right now.

“By the way in another sense,

If you know what I mean.”

A mysterious woman who finally speeds off is no longer so mysterious.

R.I.P. to quite a of things!

By the way, I ask you as the final episode closes on this mind-boggling incident or has it?

This piece is entirely fictional to the best of my knowledge.

The Author Verna or other characters don’t represent any real person, past or present as far as I know

I’d like to thank everyone on Tumbrl for considering this picture/story combination

Asking The way suite all my own work

[mantrabay]



Asking The Way 11

"Well to a certain degree yes I really don’t want to impose.

I’m getting used to my deprivation." As this strangely odd conversation began I couldn’t help but notice several books strewn about the passenger seat some of which she was clearly trying to hide. The subject matter varies from Science Fiction to Psychology. There were rather interesting tomes as well on assessing people's personality. “I love talking to people. You are no exception. Recent events are troubling you aren’t they? Your life story is in your face.”

There was an understandable hesitation on my part.

We both shared a curious common dress sense in terms of sombre dull dark shade.

For total strangers this heliacal accord was in evidence.

“Perhaps there are overlapping aspects in our life experience.”

Loose comments ripple off.

“Don't be so defensive.

Maybe we are all looking for something in one sense.

I believe this happens when we lose people or possessions that are close to us. Maybe you aren’t missing anything at all.“ There was a. chilling precision to her words as our probing dialogue continued.

“Wouldnt say its a figment of my imagination though.” An arch retort on my behalf.

A Cat and mouse game was unfolding here with creepy undertones.

“What has happened is very tangible.

Well it is.” I deadpanned.

“Did I realise what I had just said?"

This time to myself. I could now feel the full force of this woman’s stare.

There was something not quite right about this encounter. On closer inspection her accent was surprisingly youthful for her age. From the corner of my eye I did spot alterations.

Unnatural alterations to her countenance.

Quite amazingly an unexpected motorist who intrudes into my life was almost able to choreograph every thought and move I had in mind. A suspicion now occurrs to me.

One dares not even whisper it’s sinister backdrop.

“You have been scrutinising just about everything haven’t you? The books etc.”

I then interrupt. “You forgot to die....I mean dye your hair.”

Those inklings of mine assume an unstoppable momentum. Silence ensues.

I started to shudder. After a brief interlude we both begin to laugh.

Glances were exchanged as hair-raising atmospheres start to segue.

The lady in question was still trying to block my view.

“Somethings are best left unsaid.“ A wicked chuckle emanates from her.

“My name is Martin. Whats yours? Aren’t you going to ask the way?”

Shivering visibly as I spoke. “I think you already do know who I am. People and things can always assume various forms can’t they? Thats always been my core philosophy.

Maybe yours.“

Her tone now from an azure blue sky zone beyond comprehension.

“As for directions I think we both have helped each other in that regard.“

Now I felt glued to the ground.

Without warning this mysterious person drove off as quickly as they had sprung from nowhere.

One couldn’t help hearing a thud even in trance-like phases. In a flash it all made sense.

“Oh gosh.” I shriek. On the green verge to the right of me I saw a book.

“SIGNPOSTS TO ETERNITY - ASKING THE WAY."

VERNA USHERETTE.

This ominous lady bizarrely reverses.

“I’m actually her ghostwriter…. for a lookalike friend.

She dreamed of writing but had no talent.”

This weird twist didn’t stop there.

“You’ve been sending me fan mail all along.”

A smirk widens in tandem with pearlescent eyes.

“I’m really Verna and have been in search of you!”

I must have appeared thunderstruck at this point.

“Oh, Juno is this author’s real name.

“She had delusions regarding her stature.

Juno managed to fake her own death with my endorsement."

Crime scene units could not unravel the “fakes” at play right now.

“By the way in another sense,

If you know what I mean.”

A mysterious woman who finally speeds off is no longer so mysterious.

R.I.P. to quite a of things!

By the way, I ask you as the final episode closes on this mind-boggling incident or has it?

This piece is entirely fictional to the best of my knowledge.

The Author Verna or other characters don’t represent any real person, past or present as far as I know

I’d like to thank everyone on Tumbrl for considering this picture/story combination

Asking The way suite all my own work.