#and i would have more to say about lily and why she's also very interesting though we have little of her

[joannerowling]

Take a look at this baby, it has EVERYTHING.

riddle was told to go home to his orphanage in london during what would have very much been the blitz? whatever.

"Harry Potter is bad because some arbitrary elements of real life i've got a personal interest in aren't part of the plot. Why aren't the books 1000 pages longer? I really wanted to read more of Harry Potter's really bad, terrible writing."

the weasley's are so strapped for cash that they're sending their son to school with a potentially dangerous broken wand? of course they're spending their lottery winnings on visiting their adult son in egypt

(CONTEXT : The Weasleys actually "win the lottery" the year after their son Ron broke his wand, and the win explicitly allows his family to buy him a new wand. So OP here is definitely talking out of their arse. Also,)

"JKR is a terrible writer because occasionally her characters aren't all good and make mistakes or bad decisions. Unlike real life, where people are always good and never make mistakes or bad decisions."

snape grew up in what was likely a dying northern industrial town with abusive/neglectful parents, largely cut off from the magical world? almost impressed you caught on to that, with how little it's expanded on.

"JKR's writing sucks because she can quickly and efficiently paint a picture for her young readers to understand a social context and develop empathy for her characters. Some would call her ability to do that in so little words impressive… Wait, what was i saying? Oh yeah, bad writing. Because reasons."

yes hermione has a supposedly good relationship with both her parents, no we're not going to show you it at all, yes she's going to wipe they're memories like it's nothing.

See first paragraph. (Also, CONTEXT : Hermione is very much distraught at having to - temporarily - wipe her parents's memories "for their own good". Hermione's willingness to do questionable but necessary things to protect people and win against the bad guys is built up throughout the series and is an established character trait at this point. Again, one wonders if OP has actually read the books.)

lily evans is the moral compass of james and basically the most important person in the series but fuck you if you want to actually know anything about her lmao

"I can't see the point of not knowing more about the main character's long dead mum that he never got to know. The tragedy of this fully escapes me. From a literary perspective i don't get the point of being put in the protagonist's shoes. As the reader i should be told everything, and never ever made to use my imagination and empathy."

thinking again about jk rowling being a bad writer. like, we all know about the massive flaws in her worldbuilding and i hope by now it's clear she's a bigot on basically every front. (hello, regular reminder that she doesn't even actually like women.) but like. she's especially good at dropping bits of lore and then those not being relevant in the fucking slightest. riddle was told to go home to his orphanage in london during what would have very much been the blitz? whatever. the weasley's are so strapped for cash that they're sending their son to school with a potentially dangerous broken wand? of course they're spending their lottery winnings on visiting their adult son in egypt, what else would they do. snape grew up in what was likely a dying northern industrial town with abusive/neglectful parents, largely cut off from the magical world? almost impressed you caught on to that, with how little it's expanded on. yes hermione has a supposedly good relationship with both her parents, no we're not going to show you it at all, yes she's going to wipe they're memories like it's nothing. lily evans is the moral compass of james and basically the most important person in the series but fuck you if you want to actually know anything about her lmao. even what little we see is wildly inconsistent.

[joannerowling]

i'm just disappointed that the fandom latched onto the marauders and teens and do the most boring gay male ships imaginable out of them while basically no one but me thinks that the dynamic between lily and petunia is interesting to explore. disappointed but not surprised, because i know the fandom thinks writing (bad, homophobic) out of character yaoi is more fun than exploring literally any female characters (especially if they can't write sex into it). disappointed nonetheless.

You and me both. I'm doubly interested in Lily and Petunia's relationship because i can't stop myself from comparing it to Jo and her sister Dianne's relationship. (Truly, in general, siblings relationships fly under the radar a lot in this fandom, it's all about shipping, but when you look at canon the deepest and messiest dynamics are all familial. And it makes sense for a child lit series, i think! Fairy tales follow that very pattern, romantic issues rarely feature in them, even when the pursuit of a love interest is central to the plot; whereas parents and siblings are more complex, they can be the hero's strongest ally or enemy.)

Anyways, i'm endlessly fascinated by the fact that Jo mimicked her own familial structure with the Evans specifically, and the character she put in her own position - the older sister - is Petunia, who is jealous of her younger, prettier and kinder sister and of her literal magical powers.

I mean, it could have been the opposite, right? The older sister could have been Harry's talented and beloved deceased mother, but that's not the choice Jo made. We'll never know if she did it consciously or not but imo it kinda gives out a self-deprecating nature. I'm only speculating but it's possible she at some point shared some of the feelings of resentment Petunia has for Lily. We know from interviews that the Rowlings had a bizarre way of referring to their daughters as "the Smart One" (Jo) and "the Pretty One" (Dianne) which without overblowing it doesn't feel like something that would have been good for either of their self-esteem.

However, unlike Lily and Petunia, JKR and her sister are very close, in fact Dianne Rowling was the one who helped her after her first marriage ended and she came back to the UK. She dedicated Philosopher's Stone to her (alongside her mother and daughter). So perhaps she built Petunia as a version of herself that could have existed had she been unable to move on from old hurt or rivalry (again, all of that is speculative and my own musings).

Regardless of biographical connections, i find Petunia a very compelling character. Vernon Dursley is a great caricature (whose echoes continue to entertain in Jo's later adult books), but Petunia feels real past the satire. The way i see her, she's a deeply self-hating person who clings to "normalcy" because she feels abnormal inside. People don't naturally like her, she doesn't have Lily's charisma and easy personality, she's difficult. When she calls Lily a "freak", it's obviously a projection, she uses the insult she secretly would apply to herself. It doesn't make her too dissimilar from the likes of Hermione (especially since Hermione was supposed to have a little sister too!), and so i can't help but find her a bit sympathetic, despite her terrible life choices, cowardice and refusal to self-reflect. Much like Snape, she was terrible to Harry but she also saved his life.

[ellecdc]

a marauders guide to siblings

Sirius Black x Potter!reader + moonwater + jily [1.4k words]

CW: fem!reader, reader is James' twin, siblings

James loved love. Like, if someone were to ask James what his favourite thing was, first he would say quidditch, then he would say pranking, then he’d probably say his beautiful girlfriend Lily, and then he would absolutely without a doubt say love.

Oh, and maybe also he’d say ABBA, but the order wasn’t important, alright? The point was: James loved love.

So, once the rest of his mates found partners of their own (save Peter), he immediately began begging them for a triple date. But for as mischievous as his friends were, they were equally (if not painfully more) stubborn.

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“Please!?”

“I said no, James.” Remus sighed as he rubbed harshly at his eyes; and sure, perhaps cornering him in the hospital wing following a full moon when he had nowhere to run nor hide from James’ pestering wasn’t very couth of James, but in James’ defence, he-

“POTTER.” Regulus barked from the door to the hospital wing that he just burst through, completely ignoring the reproachful shushing from the matron. “I swear to Salazar if you do not step away from my boyfriend, I-”

Except James never got to hear what Regulus planned on doing if he did not step away from his boyfriend because James - a smart man - chose that moment to shout “promise me you’ll think about it, moons!” before fleeing from the room. 

It had gone just about the same with Sirius. 

“No can do, Prongsie boy.” Sirius drawled without looking up from his study notes.

“And just why not?” James spat, obviously having had it up to here with his sodding no good best friends anyone could ever ask for. 

Sirius hummed as he looked off into the distance like he was giving this question actual thought. “Oh, right. Because I don’t want to.” He deadpanned.

“Why not.”

“James.” Sirius hissed as he sat up straighter, eyeing the librarian who was eyeing the two infamous marauders right back. “I have no interest in sitting at a table with my brother as he makes googly eyes at my best friend, nor-” he paused as he held his hand up when James went to interject, “do I want to sit at a table with my girlfriends brother as I make googly eyes at her.” 

“Then just don’t make googly eyes at my sister.” James hissed back, earning him a scoff.

“Have you seen your sister? That’s impossible.”

“Eugh.”

“See.” Sirius accused, raising a knowing eyebrow at him. “I’m not doing it.” 

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But if there was one thing James hated in equal measure as he loved love, it was quitting.

And in case that wasn’t clear; James hated quitting. 

“Oh good, you’re all here.” You announced robotically as you approached Remus, Regulus, Lily, and Sirius at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall.

“You alright, Potter?” Regulus questioned slowly, looking between Sirius and Remus concernedly as they both let out a groan.

“What now?” Sirius muttered as he pinched the space between his brows.

“I’m supposed to say…” you continued, pausing to pull a cue card from your pocket and reading directly from it. “As you all know, the wonderful and momentous anniversary of James Fleamont Potter’s birth is approaching-”

You hardly spared a breath for the unimpressed snort from Remus at the fact that you and James shared a sodding birthday.

“-and his one wish - in place of any gifts - is for all of us to accompany him to one triple date at The Three Broomsticks on the next Hogsmeade weekend.” You finished, only looking up at the group when you finished reciting your script before pocketing it again. 

“What exactly do you get out of this arrangement?” Lily asked as she leaned back in her chair.

“A triple date?” You answered in the form of a question.

“What do you really get out of this?” Remus asked with a laugh.

“James promised me an unlimited amount of jelly slugs for the rest of the school year.” You offered bashfully.

“Oh.” Sirius groaned theatrically before pulling you into his lap. “My poor sweet girl, being coerced by means of sweets.” He cooed pathetically into your hair. 

“Does that mean you’ll do it?!” James shrieked excitedly as he appeared out of bloody fucking no where. 

“Circe’s fucking tits.” Regulus hissed as he clutched at his chest. 

Sirius scoffed as he removed one arm from around your waist to gesture at his brother. “Look what you’ve done now, James; you’ve reduced my baby brother to swears and blasphemy. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Please?” James asked quietly; puppy dog eyes darting nervously between his best friends, his girlfriend, his best friend’s boyfriend, and his sister.

And finally, after months of begging and badgering and whining and pestering, James finally got his triple date. 

Except…except something was bothering James…

Which was weird, because it was perfect. 

James got to see Regulus smile for quite possibly the first time ever when Remus offered him a bite of his meal from his own fork and then immediately stole a kiss when Regulus wasn’t paying attention. 

For as wound up and fidgety you’d been on the walk down to Hogsmeade, James watched any and all tension melt from your body the second Sirius pulled a chair out for you, situated himself in the spot next to it and threw his arm over you like that’s where it was simply meant to be. 

And the sound of Lily’s bubbling laughter echoed somewhere deep in James’ rib cage every time Sirius or Remus took the piss at James’ expense. 

“Oh, James, you’d really like this.” You insisted then, interrupting James from his musings as you held your plate out for him to take a helping for his own plate. 

“Awe, you guys are sweet.” Lily commented before she accepted a bite from James who had, indeed, really liked what you had ordered. 

“Remus is already feeding you enough over there, don’t even think about it.” Sirius called over to Regulus who was actually not thinking about it at all, thank you very much, earning him a glare from his brother. 

And that’s when it hit James.

“Wait a second.” He commented, causing everyone to look at him warily. “Sirius is dating my sister,” he started, ignoring Sirius’ groan and Remus’ quiet ‘here we go’, “and Remus is dating Sirius’ brother…then what about me?”

Regulus let out an inelegant snort as Lily scoffed in offence. “What do you mean ‘what about me’!?” She shrilled. 

“Prongs, listen,” Sirius whispered conspiratorially, “I don’t want to alarm you, but you’re very close to losing the girl you spent six long years trying to snag.”

But before James could blanche (or beg for Lily’s forgiveness), Remus chuckled. “Don’t worry, James. I’ll claim Lily as a sibling and then you can be dating my sister.”

“What the fuck?” Regulus muttered at the same time Lily murmured “you’ll what?” and James cheered “that’s brilliant!”. 

“Why on earth would that matter?” Regulus asked, though the end of his sentence trailed off when you started shaking your head. 

“It’s best not to question it, Reg.” You offered him knowingly. 

“Fine.” Lily muttered, nodding her chin over at Remus. “Then you have to share your chips.” 

In response, Remus lobbed one across the table, hitting her right in the forehead which started a petty sibling squabble right there in the middle of The Three Broomsticks.

“Yes.” James whispered reverently. “This is perfect.” 

“Were the jelly slugs worth it then?” Sirius murmured into your cheek as James cackled at the pettiness between the pseudo-siblings and Regulus threatened to bring them all back to the castle with no dessert if they didn’t smarten up. 

You smirked as you turned your face towards his, though he made no effort to create space for you which left the two of you basically nose to nose. “At least I got something out of this.”

“I got something out of this.” Sirius said easily, continuing when you raised an eyebrow at him. “I got to spend an evening with my girl. That’s worth any nonsense.” 

You smiled before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, reciprocating quickly when he greedily demanded more. “Well then, happy birthday to James Potter, I guess.”

Happy birthday to James, indeed.

[livinginshambles]

Not ridiculous at all | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: You are part of the marauders, always having felt special when they called you part of the gang, but also consequently too embarrassed to admit to wanting to be more feminine, afraid that they would no longer deem you cool enough to hang out with you. You are hurt by James' comments and James might realise something when you're avoiding him.

Notes: Best friend!James, he's a bit stupid, Lily is a sweet friend, arguments, so maybe a little angsty, but not really, classic cliche tropes like friends to lovers, misunderstandings, pining (I literally just dreamt this so it's a bit patchy) and I know it's very stereotypical but that's why it's just fanfiction :)

(PS) I haven't written before, just wanted to get this out of my system. English is my third language, and this fic is not proofread because I'm way too lazy for that! Enjoy!

Part two Masterlist

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You've grown up with James Potter and have been part of the marauders since the very beginning. You always took 'being one of the guys' or 'part of the gang' as a compliment, it left you feeling giddy as if you were included in some secret group that only you had the privilege of belonging to.

But sometimes you would sit in the girls dormitory and despite your friends laughing and chatting about, you would feel a wave of loneliness wash over you. They often did activities together and by now, 6th year at Hogwarts, they've managed to stop asking you to join them as you've always dutifully replied that it 'wasn't your thing'.

I mean, what would the guys think of you? It would be too embarrassing to admit to them, or anyone for that matter, that you would love to be dolled up for once. To go shopping with your friends, be included in movie nights, asked by Alice if she could test some makeup on you, or read and gossip about the new romance novels that were the new hype.

Especially now when you sat on your bed, part of the circle in which they were discussing plans to go dress shopping.

"You should absolutely join us!" Alice squealed in delight. You were shaken out of your train of thoughts with a huh and realized the conversation had taken a turn somewhere and now included you too. Marlene and Lily nodded fervently in agreement but you bashfully shook your head.

"Nah, can you imagine me in a dress?" You joked, but Dorcas caught the curious and somewhat longing look in your eyes at the mention of getting ready for the Yule ball.

"I think you would look great actually. And besides, you can treat yourself too sometime you know. You're not obligated to stick with the marauders all the time." The girls in the dorm once again all agreed and you smiled at their kindness.

"Since when are you interested in things like the Yule ball?"

You snapped your head up at James to see his questioning eyes and then quickly averted your own in a flustered manner as if one of your greatest secrets had just been uncovered. "I just think it seems nice, that's all, I'm not even going or anything", you defended. You felt slightly embarrassed by James' face which wore a weirded out expression.

"Well you're not really the type to go to such an event anyway right?", James remarked. You did your best to hide your frown at his immediate agreement. Was it that bad that you'd hoped he would say something along the lines of 'what are you talking about, go enjoy yourself at the party' or something like that?

"Besides I can't imagine you in a dress, all made up, it'd just look so ridiculous." James continued. Remus, ever the sweet and attentive boy glanced at you and noticed your slightly sacked shoulders in disappointment at his words.

"I mean you're just not that type of person, you know? Like completely opposite of Lily."

And with that your face felt like it burned from embarrassment. As if you didn't already know. That didn't mean you didn't want to be more like her sometimes.

Peter's eyes flicked with concern from James to you and back.

You felt hurt and forced yourself to stop tears welling up at his words, mustering up a grin, ready to agree with him but were interrupted by Sirius who had now also caught your change in mood.

"Prongs, you really have no tact at all, how are you expecting to even win Evans over with that?" He said in a playful manner as to not offend their whipped friend, but not fully succeeding.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" James looked slightly offended and Remus jumped in the conversation.

"That's just not a nice thing to say. It's different if you call me an ugly toad, but not Y/N! If she wants to go to the Yule Ball all dolled up, she definitely should." He shot you a supportive smile which you returned.

Peter nodded in agreement. "I don't think you'd look ridiculous at all," he told you sincerely. You subtly scooted a little closer to him and Remus.

"But it's Y/N, it'd just look weird, cause she's just not a proper girl like that, no offense." James shot back and gave you a smile at the last two words.

You saw Remus opening his mouth to retort but quickly intervened. "He's right." You told them. You just wanted this conversation to be over with already. It was awkward and painful for you as it was.

James didn't seem to get the memo, however, and kept on going, drilling your confidence further into the ground.

"See, she agrees." He turned to you. "It's not like you're ugly or anything but it'd be ridiculous. Like I said, you're not the type to be all beautiful and dressed up, hair done and all. I mean you're cool, but not pretty like that." He was clearly not done yet and started talking about Lily and her beauty at which point you abruptly got up and left.

"What's gotten into her?" James remarked with a frown.

Sirius and Remus didn't even bother to answer and just stared at him in disbelief.

The girls comforted you as you cried. Marlene barged in with ice cream, stolen from the kitchen in one hand and 5 spoons in the other. "What a jerk." She commented and thrust a spoon in your hand before plopping down in front of you with the rest of your friends.

Lily sighed frustratedly. "See this is why I don't like him at all. He's so rude and arrogant, and he-"

"- is right." You answered dejectedly. "I'm your friend, but not the type to join you guys and belong to your circle."

"Well that's only because you hang around the boys all the time," Alice argued. She nudged you. "But you know what, now that James is being a git, you can hang out with us!"

Dorcas gasped dramatically. "We could do a girls night! Treat ourselves a little", she jumped up. "I'll get the face masks and nail polish!"

Lily let go of you too and told you to sit up. "Come on, let me do your hair," she smiled.

With Marlene feeding you ice cream, your nails being polished by Alice, hair done by Lily and Dorcas reading the latest romance novel out loud while you were all wearing a facemask, you couldn't help but feel all warm inside.

"I love you guys."

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

You laughed and pushed Marlene teasingly off the bed.

"Hey, watch it! I just finished your right hand." Alice complained.

James was a moron. He was kind hearted (to most), popular, captain of the Quidditch team, good looking but a moron nonetheless. So he was absolutely clueless to find you missing from the common room yesterday evening and even more clueless when you were missing from your usual spot next to him at the Gryffindor table in the great hall, because he could not for the life of him think of a reason why you would sit with Alice and Frank instead.

He frowned and felt uneasy at the fact that you hadn't even looked at him, let alone come for a hug with your smile and said 'good morning' like usual. He shook the thoughts away. You were obviously allowed to have your own friends as well and not obligated to spend all your time with him.

The door of the great hall behind him opened and Lily Evans walked in, which was why instead of walking up to you to say something, he habitually turned to Lily instead.

"You look beautiful this morning as usual. I could put in the effort to match you when we go out together?" He shot her a wink and a coy smile but faltered slightly when his attempts at flirting got even less of a reaction out of her than usual.

James turned to Sirius with a questioning look, as if to ask 'you noticed that too right?' but Sirius simply shrugged. When James looked back at Frank and Alice, you were gone, having left the moment you felt his stare.

James started to ponder. 'Were you avoiding him? Surely you wouldn't, right? You two were friends after all, childhood friends. Childhood best friends even, for Merlin's sake! If you were upset with him, you'd definitely let him know.'

A week passed with you, sitting on the opposite sides of the classroom, seemingly having picked partners long before class because how else would you team up with random students before James could even blink?

He had now fully accepted that you were avoiding him. And with that, he meant 'accepting the possibility of that occurrence'. He was by no means going to accept your strange new behavior without doing anything.

The last drop though, was when he heard the news from Peter that you'd already left for Hogsmeade with the girls.

He frowned. 'You were kind', he reasoned. If you were upset with him, then he'd have to apologize. Quickly. Because it's been far too long without his best friend and he realized he missed you. Especially seeing you hang out with others.

"What did I do?" He finally asked his remaining friends.

"Really Prongs?" Remus couldn't help but ask. His friend just gave him a look that said 'well go on then, what is it'.

"How about you think about what you said last week, you know, those rude comments about the Yule ball."

"Yeah, but I already apologized yesterday and told her that I didn't mean to offend her!" James flailed his arms around when he exclaimed it.

"But she's still only hanging out with anyone but me," he whined. "Peter studied with her, Pads got a 'good morning' this morning and you're still talking to eachother.

Remus gave him an unimpressed look at his whining but James was not done complaining yet.

"She keeps spending all her time with the girls while she doesn't even seem to be fully enjoying herself"

This was true. You dearly missed James, so despite your newfound hobbies, a look of sadness sometimes fell over your face, which hadn't escaped James' attention.

"And I just don't understand why she would-" He started but never finished, something dawning on him. "Oh of course! Merlin, I'm so stupid!" He shouted out in epiphany.

"Your words not mine," Sirius quickly took the opportunity.

"Oh bugger off Pads", James laughed and pushed Sirius' arm. And with that, he took off to find you.

Sirius and Remus watched him leave and sighed at the same time. "Do you really think he got it?"

"I bloody hope so, Moony."

"But it's James."

"Yeah, but I mean it's not my fight but even I realize that she's sad that James made fun of the idea of her being more girly when she secretly wants to be. Now she's trying out what she likes, without having to stay within the role of 'one of the guys'. I mean, it's pretty straightforward. I guess a genuine apology and show of support is the solution."

"But it's James."

"Yep, you're right."

Though he hadn't been able to find you, he'd waited patiently for your return in the common room. Staring at the ceiling from his laid back position on the couch.

"Oh there you are, Y/N," He rushed to sit up to face you when you entered the room. If you were surprised by his presence, you didn't show it.

"We need to talk, I wanted to apologize." He breathed out, relieved at himself for having figured it out. "Also, I've missed you so much."

You felt a weight fall off your shoulders. You didn't want to be upset with him and felt incredibly relieved to hear him say that.

"I'm sorry for the things I said. I didn't mean for you to get offended or anything," James began.

"Yeah, you already said that." You frowned. "And I remember I told you that that was not a proper apology."

"I know, I know. It was shitty of me so I wanted to apologize. Properly you know? I'm really really sorry. I was a terrible friend and shouldn't have said the things I said. Please forgive me?" He proceeded to give you Bambi eyes in an attempt to convince you. It unsurprisingly worked.

You softly smiled up at him. "Okay". You barely got the word out before he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.

"Great," he said, cutting through the comfortable silence that you two had been hugging in.

"Now you don't have to avoid me anymore, and you can stop sitting with the girls to prove your point, and join us again instead." He triumphantly continued.

What now?

You blanked. "I'm sorry?" You managed to ask.

"I get that I hurt you by saying your weren't a proper girl, but you don't have to pretend to prove your point by trying to be one." James stated, proud of himself that he figured it out.

"Because I can see that you don't like it, like your face gets all gloomy which is understandable because it isn't really your circle of people."

You stared at him, an incredulous look on your face.

"Fuck you James." You said, your voice coming out softer than you'd hoped. Tears were welling up again, but you couldn't help yourself.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I do want that to be my circle of people? That I don't just want to be one of the guys all the time? Is it that crazy to think that I'm still a girl with feelings? That I want to feel pretty too? That I don't like being told by my supposed best friend that I'm basically ugly? That I hate to be compared to other girls like that?"

You were ranting and James had taken a step back, surprised by your outburst.

"No, that's not what I-", James tried to salvage the situation but you weren't having it.

"You've told me that stuff for as long as I can remember and I never told you otherwise because I was scared that you'd no longer want to hang out with me for not being a 'chill friend'. But you know what, I no longer want you to."

At this point, you angrily wiped your eyes to get rid of tears that were threatening to spill. "So fuck you". With that, you brushed past him, escaping upstairs to your room.

James Fleamont Potter felt absolutely miserable.

If anyone told James that you'd ever be more on his mind than Lily, he would call them ridiculous. But here he was, another week had passed and he was staring at your back as you were leaving with your friends for Hogsmeade again.

You weren't wearing your school uniform and robes anymore and James was surprised to see you wearing one of what he knew to be Lily's dresses.

'It suited you more than it suited Lily.' The unwarranted thought flashed through his mind and he shook his head with a scoff to himself. What was going on?

James also noticed that your hair was brushed and shining with a butterfly clip holding your hair in a bun. He wondered when you decided to change your hairstyle because he found that it framed your face perfectly.

'Not ridiculous at all,' he understood.

You looked absolutely perfect.

You turned your face a little and James could feel his head reeling. Have you always been this glowing? Was he just simply missing you? He didn't even realize that he hadn't spared Lily a glance- until Sirius mentioned her while they were having a drink - and a strange feeling washed over him at the thought.

You were running from Filch.

'Fuck I shouldn't have studied after hours, curfew was probably hours ago," you cursed to yourself and took a sharp right turn. You were trying to reach the secret passage right behind the big statue on the fourth floor when you saw the hallway light up because of Filches torch.

Forcing your legs to move faster, you were suddenly grabbed by the wrist. A hand was clasped over your mouth and you felt a heavy cloth fall over you.

You recognised the person pressed to your back immediately and tried not to melt in his embrace as Filch walked straight past the two of you, covered in the invisibility cloak.

You could feel his breath against your temple. His hand had dropped from your mouth, instead draping across your stomach now to rest on your side. The other held out in front of you to create space under the cloak. You shifted a little and finally turned your head and lifted it to look at him and thank him but you were unable to say anything for a moment.

You simply admired him.

The proximity of the two of you in that intimate embrace had something fluttering in your stomach and you harshly jerked away in denial when your feelings hit you.

Oh no.

Now, all suddenly? What changed? Does it really take one random moment to flip your world upside down?

You rushed to push the invisibility cloak out of your way and then left without sparing James another glance.

James couldn't force his legs to move to run after you, still reeling from about the exact same epiphany that you'd just run away from. Your gaze, his fast beating heart and the urge he had felt to lean down for a kiss had confirmed his conflicted feelings of the past few days since he'd seen you leave for Hogsmeade.

The following morning, you'd had the chance to properly process the happenings of last night.

Your conclusion was that you felt guilty that you hadn't even expressed your gratitude. It was rude, you figured. Even if you were overwhelmed by the sudden wave of realization that came crashing down on you, it was rude.

So you pushed your confused feelings aside and marched up to him when you found him in the great hall.

"Thanks, I owe you." You awkwardly said, stopping at his spot at the Gryffindor table. All while absolutely not having forgotten about the fact that the last time you had said something to him, you'd flipped him off and told him to go fuck himself.

James was absolutely beaming. "Yeah you do, but no worries, I'll cash it in right away." This was his chance. He would make up for his behavior and act on his feelings right now.

"How about a date?"

There was a long silence. Your heart plummeted to the ground. Right. James. Lily. Lily and James.

"What am I a magician?" You finally managed to sarcastically retort. "I'm a convincing person but not a miracle worker." You pulled your hand through your hair as you looked around the great hall to see if you could spot Lily.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do." You forced a smile.

James, who had been mostly confused at your words, disregarded it completely in delight at your acceptance to go out with him, even if it seemed somewhat reluctant. Not that it would matter because he was going to prove what an amazing boyfriend he could be. If you'd accept him, of course.

He was grinning from ear to ear, which you mistook as excitement at the prospect of a potential date with Lily. So when you abruptly turned on your heels and marched over to Lily, James watched you confusedly.

And when he heard you try to talk Lily into going out with him, he wanted to crawl in a ditch and die. He stood there, frozen and recounting how you could've interpreted that wrongly.

You returned to him after a while with an apologetic smile. "Yeah sorry Prongs, she-"

"You", he blurted out.

You raised your eyebrows. "Me?" You repeated back.

"The date, I meant you. A-and me of course. Us, like you and me on a date. Together. I thought maybe Hogsmeade?" He managed to force the words out nervously.

There was a long silence and James' shoulders slumped a little. Even more when you finally answered.

"Uh, no?" You said in a questioning manner. James officially wanted to die now.

"You're sweet James, and I don't think you do it on purpose but you're not interested in me like that." You began, trying to convince not only James, but yourself as well.

James opened his mouth to argue but you quickly interrupted him before he could properly do so.

"James, you really don't. And you asking me out on a date when you've quite literally been drooling over Lily just last week as you have been doing for the past 5 years, that's not very nice to me." You frowned.

"Oh." He whispered. He was once again at a lack of words for a moment. Terrible new habit, he thought. This was not how he thought it would go.

"I'd still gladly go with you to Hogsmeade though?" You offered. "Just you know, not as an easy second choice date while you are obviously head over heels with her."

'I'm not', he wanted to tell you, but it was obvious that you wouldn't believe him. "Yeah okay," he weakly smiled. "Just the two of us though."

You nodded and stepped forward, wrapped your arms around him and he leaned into you, returning the hug.

With his face pressed in your hair, eyes closed, he decided that this situation wasn't too bad. He's fought for Lily's affection for years. He'd fight harder for yours.

Part two

[msmk11]

Marauder's Era HC's- How They React When You Ask Them If They'd Still Love You If You Were a Worm

(This is the most unserious thing I've ever written)

James

When you ask him the question, he is SO confused.

I mean, he has no connection to the muggle world, so he's never seen the trend.

James has endless questions for you: "What is the point of this question?" "Why are you a worm?" "Why am I not a worm?"

You have to beg him to stop asking questions and just answer yes or no.

James, of course, is a sweetheart. So even though he's still very confused, his response is lovely: "Well I reckon I'd love you in any universe in any form, so yes I would still love you, even if you were a worm."

Sirius

Sirius is not even fazed by the question.

He INSTANTLY answers yes.

His lack of hesitation makes you all giggly and happy.

But then, he asks you if you'd still love him if he were a worm.

Obviously, you say yes.

Side note: you two would totally have this conversation in bed before going to sleep because that's when you talk about all the weird shit.

Remus

His immediate response is an exasperated, tired sigh because he's so used to your shenanigans.

The first thing he'd say is, "Well am I a worm too?"

Once you tell him no, that he wouldn't be a worm, his answer to you is no because, "he's not attracted to worms?"

You try and explain to him that he'd still know it was you, you'd just be in worm form.

He doesn't budge on his answer and only replies that, "this seems too complicated for a hypothetical, dove."

Peter

I'm sorry, but he instantly laughs in your face after you ask the question because he thinks you're being goofy.

But when he realizes that you're 100% serious, he sobers up real fast.

"Wait, is that a genuine question?

My guy is SWEATING. He doesn't want to say the wrong thing.

He slowly drags out his answer to gauge your reaction and figure out the correct response.

"Nnnnnnnno-" (sees your face fall) "Yes! No yeah, yes, I'd totally still love you if you were a worm."

Lily

She's so happy you asked (if not a little mad that you beat her to it.)

I mean she's muggle born, so she's definitely seen the tik tok trend.

Answers with a giggle and happy, "Yes ofc, lovely."

She'd then go off on a little tangent about all the ways she'd treat you like royalty, even as a worm- she'd get the nicest soil, the best little habitat, etc.

Girl is so precious

Marlene

Marlene doesn't hesitate and instantly responds yes.

But honestly, I think she'd be way more interested to know if you'd still love her if she was a worm.

(There's only one right answer.)

I'm also certain that this question and variants of it would become her obsession for the next month.

Like every day she'd ask you the same question but with a new animal: "Would you still love me if I were a frog?" "A penguin?" "A squirrel?"

Dorcas

Babe is too logical to answer this question.

She's instantly coming up with solutions/alternative answers rather than just saying yes or no.

"I wouldn't need to worry about this, because I'd just turn you back into a human."

Starts listing off all the spells or potions she could use to turn you back into a human.

When you try to protest and tell her that that wouldn't be possible, she'd only take it as a challenge.

Would literally come up with her own spell or potion to prove a point if necessary.

Mary

Her answer is yes

Why? Because she "loves worms and loves you. What's not to love?"

I'm pretty sure this question doesn't linger on her mind very long. But worms do.

Within the week she has a pet worm and a whole habitat for it.

Might even name it after you (which is a ?compliment?)

Regulus

Regulus isn't fazed by the question, but that doesn't mean he will give in to your shenanigans.

Immediately responds no.

Despite your pouty lips and frown, he does not budge.

You say, "So you don't really love me unconditionally?"

"Just be glad you're not a worm."

[pitchsidestories]

Girlfriend Material II Jen Beattie x Reader

masterlist I word count: 3223

summary: in which Jen Beattie falls in love with a sports journalist who is also a single mother.

A/N: based off this request here. We hope you enjoy this one and we agree with you that Jen Beattie is really underrated. As always this is just fiction.

audio transcript of the interview with Jen Beattie for the bookproject

Jen: sips on her coffee So, how did you..?

Reader: laughs amused do I have to remind you Jen Beattie that I'm the person here asking the questions and it's about the Scottish Women’s national team?

Jen: I thought we weren’t starting yet!

Reader: You said you got your coffee in front of you and that we can start recording that conversation.

Jen: I didn’t know you meant immediately.

Reader: So now you know.

Jen: okay, sorry. I’ll let you talk now.

Reader: Thank you can see jen lifting her finger Yes?

Jen: No, sorry. I forgot I’m not allowed to ask questions.

Reader: Maybe you can ask a few so it feels more like a natural conversation? Maybe that works better for you too.

Jen: Okay, fine with me. How did you get the idea to write this?

Reader: Easy your team’s story is very intriguing and inspiring. I really wanted to cover more than a story, and, in a book, you get the chance to tell multiple of stories.

Jen: I like that. But I always think, we’re just Scotland, you know? There are more interesting teams to write about.

Reader: Yes, I get that but it might sound like a stupid reason, but I grew up in Edinburgh, so Scotland is very dear to my heart, also everyone loves the underdog.

Jen: I like that.

Reader: So, what I’m trying to say with this is you can trust me.

Jen: I do. Why would I not trust you with this topic?

Reader: Good point

Jen: See.

Reader: going back to our topic, when and how did you feel when you were getting your first call up for Scotland?

Jen: chuckles Oh that was a long time ago but as a football player you always dream of that call so as you can imagine I was very excited.

Reader: Do you remember that exact moment?

Jen: Yes, I do. I still played for Glasgow, and I almost missed the call because I started at the phone for too long.

Reader: You did?

Jen: Yes, I’m not sure what would have happened if I missed it.

Reader: I guess they would have tried it again.

Jen: Who knows, right?

Reader: I think it was meant to be.

Jen: It probably was. I’m glad I took the call though. It changed a lot for me.

Reader: This must have been a big step forward in your career.

Jen: It is. I don’t know if Arsenal would have wanted me if it hadn’t been for that call.

Reader: but Arsenal did want you. Lily entering the room Oh sorry this is my daughter Lily.

Jen: She’s adorable. Hi Lily.

Lily: Hello, are you mum’s new friend?

Reader: Actually, I’m interviewing Jen for my book.

Jen: But it’s almost something like that.

Reader: True. Can you give me five more minutes, Lil? And when we’ll go to the park to play football like I promised you earlier.

Lily: Okay.

Reader: Thanks love. Sorry, so where were we Jen?

Jen: Uhm.. oh, Arsenal.

Reader: Yes, right, you got the chance to play there.

Jen: I did. Together with my Scotland teammate.

Reader: So, you must have been very young when you made your move to London?

Jen: I was 18.

Reader: Right.

Jen: Kim was 18 too when she moved to London the year before, so I was glad to have her there too.

Reader: That’s really sweet.

Jen: We both were the youngest and now we’re the grandmas.

Reader: protests You’re not grandmas !

Jen: No but we like to joke about it.

Reader: I can see that.

Jen: With all the youngsters here.

Lily: wears a Scotland jersey Mum, I’m ready !

Reader: Shit, the five minutes are over.

Jen: You probably shouldn’t let her wait.

Reader: Sorry, that’s so unprofessional.

Jen: No worries. I understand that.

Reader: Thank you.

Jen: Have fun.

Lily: Do you want to play with us?

Jen: I would love to, but I have training. Another time, I promise.

Lily: Oh okay.

Jen: Lily?

Lily: Yes?

Jen: I mean it.

Lily: I trust you.

Jen: I’ll see you soon.

Reader: Goodbye, Jen. Thank you for taking your time.

Jen: Thank you for inviting me. And don’t forget to call me, so Lily and I can play some football.

Reader: I’ll call you. Promise.

Lily: whispers Mum, she likes you.

Reader: I think she likes you more.

Lily: But she likes you too!

Reader: Do you think so?

Lily: Yes!

Reader: When it must be true.

Lily: Its true.

The London Derby was about to start. The crowd at the Emirates was roaring with excitement. Amazed, you took in the atmosphere from the side of the pitch alongside some of the other jounalists.

Across the grass, you caught Jen’s gaze who was standing next to the tunnel in a big puffer jacket. She subtly waved at you which you answered with a small smile.

Kim Little appeared next to Jen, telling her something with a stern face. You knew the game was about to start so you turned back to your work.

“Has anyone seen Lily? Jen, you were supposed to look after the daughter of your girlfriend. “, Kim scolded Jen on the other side of the pitch. Reluctantly, Jen turned away from you and towards her teammate; “You said you would babysit.“ “After the match! I’m in the starting line up, remember?“, Kim replied, more amused than annoyed.

Laughing, Jen rolled her eyes; “Ugh, show-off.“ Her smaller team mate gave her playfully offended look; “Hey, you’re still talking to your captain here.“ “Yeh, sure. I’ll go find Lily.“, Jen answered with a grin and brushed past Kim into the dressing rooms. “Good!“, the Arsenal captain called after her.

Jen opened the door of the dressing room where the Arsenal players were just getting ready for the important game against Chelsea; “Lil?“ “Here!“, the voice of a child piped up. The little girl waved with one hand from her place between Alessia Russo and Kyra Cooney-Cross. In the other hand, she held a crumbly granola bar. Jen walked towards her, a big grin on her face; “What are you doing here? Having a snack?“

“Yes, Lessie gave me something. And Wally promised to do my hair.“, Lily nodded with pure joy. Jen ruffled her hair; “Lucky girl.“ “Comes from the one who only ever wears a bun on match days.“, Lia laughed while she pushed past Jen and took Kyras place.

Carefully, she started brushing Lilys hair. “It’s the least complicated and most effective hairstyle.“, the Scot defended herself with a shrug. Kim rolled her eyes; “And it makes you even taller than you are.“

With raised eyebrows, Jen made a point to look down at her captain; “How can you even tell that from down there?“ “Rude.“, she replied before turning towards the toddler whose hair was now in a high ponytail, “Lil?“ “Yes?“ “Tell her to stop making fun of small girls.“

Lily nodded determinedly, causing Lia to start over with braiding her little ponytail; “I’ll.“ “We’re done.“, Lia smiled a minute later, satisfied with her finished work. Lily happily jumped up on the bench, standing on her toes to eye her new hairstyle in a mirror. Laughing, Jen picked her up; “Good. Because these girls have to go out and play and important game now.“

“Good luck!”, Lily hummed. Gratefully Lia patted the shoulder of the little girl:” Thank you, Lily.” “Can you give me a hug as an extra motivation?”, Alessia asked her with a big smirk on her face. Enthusiastically Lily nodded, opening her arms up to hug the tall forward:  “Of course.” That sight alone melted Jen’s heart in the blink of an eye.

In her bossy tone which was such a contrast to her relatively smallness Kim clapped motivated into her hands:” Alright girls, time to get out there.” While the playing footballers went on to the field Jen and the toddler took their seats on the bench.

Big eyed Lily pulled on the defender’s jacket: ”Jen?” “Yes?”, attentively the Scottish player put her little hand into hers. Deeply amazed Lily whispered: “This is huge.”  “I know, right?”, Jen solemnly agreed. Not long into the game Beth Mead scored the first goal which made Lily jump from her seat shouting happily:” Yes, Meado!”

“Good job, Beth! She’ll be so happy about that girl.”, the defender commented with a satisfied smile. A bit less enthusiastic the girl added:” Mum told me she had a bad injury.”  “Yes, she didn’t play football for almost one year.”, the Scottish Woman replied seriously.

Quite taken by that she mumbled: “ That’s forever.” “And her girlfriend Viv had the same injury.”, Jen explained the past situation to her.  Moved by those words Lily observed: “That’s not fair.” “No but it happens in football.”, the defender reminded her.

The mood was lightened when the little girl was catching where the older woman’s eyes were wandering:” Jen, you keep staring at mum!” Caught of guard the Arsenal player’s cheek turned red:” I’m not I was just looking if she’s looking.” “Sure.”, Lily giggled.

After the match she ran to Alessia, telling her visibly very animated:” Lessi, your goals were soo cool!” “Thank you, Lily! You were our lucky charm today.”, the forward declared beaming.

After the live recording ended you greeted Jen with a huge grin, while she was wrapping her strong arms around you::” Hi love, did Lil behave?” “You know her of course she did. She’s too focused on the game in front of her.”, the Scottish woman answered cheerfully.

Glad about that news you changed the topic easily: “Good. Remind me, where are you taking me out tonight, again?” “You’ll see when we’re there.”, Jen smiled mysteriously. Excited about what the evening would contain you said: “I’ll be right back I’ll be just saying goodbye to Lily and tell her that it might get a bit later tonight, so she doesn’t need to try to stay awake until we’re back.” “Alright.”, with that word the Arsenal player let go of you for now.

A few minutes prior Kim wanted to know from the toddler:” Have you decided whose jersey you want, Lily?” “Can I have yours?”, she asked innocently. The captain was surprised by that wish:” Mine?” “Yes, please.”, Lily nodded quickly.

Flustered the older woman gave the little girl her jersey:” Oh, sure. Here you go.” “Thank you.”, the toddler gratefully pressed the shirt onto her.  Trying not to show how touched she was Kim waved it off:” You’re welcome.”

Lily was already wearing the oversized jersey when you entered the dressing room. Your daughter happily ran into your arms. You wrapped her into a tight hug while you told her; “Hi Lily, I just wanted to say goodbye for now and that Jen and I’ll be back tonight. But I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun with Kimmy.“

You shared a quick smile with Arsenals team captain. “Okay, have fun, Mum.“, Lily replied, obviously already distracted by what was happening around her in the dressing room. You pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before saying goodbye; “Love you, Lily.“ You could feel your daughters eyes on you while you caught up Jen outside.

Kim realized that Lily was confused by the situation so she kneeled down in front of the toddler; “Tell me, Lily, what do you want to eat now?“ “Can we eat pizza?“, the little girl asked with big eyes.

While Kim nodded, Leah Williamson joined the conversation; “Can we join the pizza party?“ “Please?“, Laura Wienroither added, her facial expression almost identical to Lilys. Kim nodded with a sigh before turning back the toddler; “Sure. How about we make our own pizzas, Lily?“ “Yes!“ “Alright, let’s go.“, the captain decided and got up to grab her bag. She took Lilys hand in hers while Leah and Laura followed them.

At Kims home, they immediately got to work, making small individual pizzas. “I’m jealous. Yours and Kims pizza looks so good.“, Leah complained, eyeing the ham and mozzarella pizza that Kim just took out of the oven. “It’s because Lily and I are a good team.“, she replied, holding up her hand for Lily to high-five. “True.“, the little girl agreed.

Laura laughed; “Not bad, Little team.“ “Thanks.“, Kim said, only partly annoyed by the pun. Excitedly, Leah took her pizza out of the oven next; “Time to eat our pizzas.“ But there was a loud bang that told everyone in the room that Leahs pizza did not even make it to the table. “Oh no.“ “Leah!“, Lily yelled, amused by the mess the tomato sauce and hot cheese made on the tile floor. “Yeah, I know, very funny.“, the defender sighed.

Kim immediately turned back to the kitchen table; “It’s okay, we can make a new one.“ “Lee, you can have a bit of mine.“, Lily offered, gently pushing a piece of pizza towards the defender. Gratefully, Leah picked it up and took a bite; “Thank you, Lily, you’re very sweet.“ “You don’t need to tell her that, she knows.“, Kim grinned while making more pizza. “Still. She shared her pizza with me!“

Finally, the captain admitted; “Yes, okay, it’s cute.“ “See, that’s adorable.“, Leah said. Laura disrupted their conversation, pointing towards the toddler; “Oh my god, girls. She fell asleep with her head next to her plate.“

A soft smile appeared on Kims lips as she watched the child sleep, a piece of pizza still in her tiny hand; “I think it was a long day for her. Winning against Chelsea is exhausting.“ “Very true.“, Leah agreed with a laugh. Carefully, Kim picked the girl up; “I’ll bring her to bed.“ “Good night, Lil.“, Laura whispered. Lily blinked tiredly and yawned against Kims shoulder; “Nighty.“

Meanwhile, you looked at your surroundings being in awe of the restaurant your girlfriend chose:” Jen, this is so fancy here.” “I told you; I’d take you somewhere nice.”, the Arsenal player replied with a warm smile.  Proudly she kept holding your hand until you reached your table and took a seat each. “Yes, you weren’t lying about you.”, you had to admit delighted.

In an honest tone she stated: “As much as I love Lily, you also deserve to be treated to something nice.” “She loves you too, in her kindergarten she refers to you as her mum.”, you confessed, cheeks flushing. Surprised but flattered Jen asked:” She does?” “Yes.”, you nodded cautiously, unsure if this information was too much for your girlfriend.  

The defender let out a shaky breath: “Wow.” “Sorry, if that was too much.”, you stammered an apology. Immediately she reassured you:” No, I like that.” “Anything you would recommend from the menu?”, you tried to lighten up the mood, but the football player was taking your hand meaning you to pause for a second.

Softly the Scottish woman said:” Love..”  “Yes?”, you looked up to her, your free hand was nervously putting a loose string of your hair behind your ear. A deep sigh escaped Jen’s lips, before she confessed: “I want to be honest with you. I never wanted to be a mum; it just wasn’t one of my life goals like it is for other women. But I’d love nothing more than being Lily’s mum.”  

“You’re already a great one.”, you confirmed visibly moved by her words. Equally touched Jen answered: “Thanks. That means a lot.” Because words couldn’t encompass how much her confession meant to you, you kissed her, hoping the kiss could encompass everything you felt in that moment. “I love you.”, the Arsenal player whispered. “I love you too.”  Her voice was filled with gratitude:” I’m so glad you were writing that book.” “It’s coming out soon.”, you announced happily.

Hopefully Jen wanted to know: “Can I read it first?” “Of course, I’ll leave you a copy on your nightstand.”, you promised her excited. A bright grin was on your girlfriend’s face: “Thank you. I can’t wait to read it.”  “I hope you and the team will like it.”, you bit your lip.  “I’m sure we will.” From that on you two had a very pleasant date night.

After the dinner you gratefully greeted Kim in her home:” Hi Kim, thanks for watching after Lily.”  “You’re welcome. She was really tired and already fell asleep at dinner.”, the Arsenal Captain told you. Understandingly you nodded:” To be fair it was a long, exciting day for her.” “That’s true. I hope you had a good date night.”, Kim smiled at you both. Beaming Jen replied:“ We did.” “That’s good.”, the midfielder seemed pleased by the happy faces in front of her.

“Mums?“, Lilys voice interrupted your small talk. The little girl stumbled into your direction, her eyes were barely open. “Yes?“, Jen answered. “You’re back.“, your daughter yawned. You crouched down, your arms outstretched and Lily let herself against your chest. “We are.“, you confirmed as you carefully picked her up. Jen reached over, ruffling the little girls hair; “Yes, and we’re going home now.“ “Okay.“, Lily mumbled, almost asleep again. Jen chuckled quietly; “She is so cute.“

You said your goodbyes to Kim and made your way back home. You placed the sleeping Lily in her bed, carefully tucking her in and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead; “Good night, Lil.“ “I think she had fun today.“, Jen commented from where she leaned on the door frame. You grinned; “Yes, they had pizzas together.“

“Oh, Kim just texted.“, Jen said in surprise. You watched her read something on her phone; “What did she write?“ “That she hopes we got Lily home without waking her up.“, your girlfriend summarized the message quickly. You shrugged; “Kind of. She’s asleep now.“

With a smile on your lips, you took Jens phone out of her hand to snap a photo of your daughter, fast asleep with her favourite plushie in her arm. Grinning, Jen followed up her message to Kim with the photo while you both left Lilys room. “She and the girls seem to like being aunties.“, Jen thought out loud. You nodded happily; “They do. Even though Kim always pretends to be annoyed when you ask her to babysit.“ “Yes, but she secretly loves it.“, Jen replied with a laugh. “Oh yes.“, you agreed while you both slipped into your bed.

Only as your head hit your pillow, you realized how tired you were. Yawning, Jen slipped an arm around your waist and gently kissed your neck once. Just before you two were about to fall asleep, Jens phone screen lit up again.

As she held up the phone and blinked against the brightness of the screen, you caught a glimpse of the message. It was from Kim, reading; “Haven’t seen you that happy in a long time. You deserve this, Jen.“ You could feel a smile spread on your face, similar to the one on your girlfriends and you couldn’t deny that you felt a little bit honoured by that message.

Jen put her phone back on the nightstand and pulled you closer to her. You both didn’t need any words to express how right it felt to be there in each others arms.

[enbysiriusblack]

things about the marauders i think should be explored more by the fandom:

sirius' love for motorbikes (him being drawn to a muggle creation, but specifically a muggle creation that has connotations to ideas of rebellion and freedom and alt culture, but also he then adds magical components to his bike, like he is not only interested in muggle culture but in combining the two and learning from both worlds, as well as showing his creative side)

the way remus talks/thinks about other werewolves (i think we want him to be fighting for werewolf rights and supporting other people like him, etc. but he does adhere and adjust who he is in order to fit into the wizarding world and does look down on other werewolves don't conform. and it is so interesting to explore that and the depths that that goes, and whether he does actually think like that, or just says that stuff to further fit in himself)

sirius having his own apartment at 17 (he's a rebellious, troublemaking teenager with his own place. shenanigans galore guys.)

lily giving slughorn a petal that turned into a fish as a present (it's obvious why slughorn like her- hardworking/smart/talented in potions, but lily clearly liked him if she gave him a thoughtful present. why?? it's very obvious slughorn picks favourites and shows off the famous ex-students he 'mentored', why would she like him?? did he help her adjust in first year? did she let him spend breaktime practicing potions in his classroom? was it purely because he thought she was talented and she was being favourited by him?)

sirius not destroying the portrait of his mother (there was a sticking charm to it, but there are ways around it. and him 'not coming up with muggle solutions' I've seen as an excuse on why, doesn't make sense since he's extremely smart and knows quite a bit about muggles. so is there still a glimpse of love towards her despite everything? did she feel the same to him?)

peter's death (what does that say about him as a character? in hesitating to harm harry, is there still care towards james and lily? or regret? did he look at harry and see james? the idea of him being killed by his hand, is interesting in thinking about peter as a puppet, perhaps manipulated in every action he takes? or forced to always be the right hand to someone else?)

[alocon]

Still Irresistible [2] - Lando Norris

Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

written by alocon

Summary: Despite all hope, Lando never lost his feelings for his best friend's twin sister. However, he still hadn't acted on it. Well, that was until the party, which led you two into a long-term secret relationship

Warnings and Tropes: Fluff, part 2 to the story released the other day.

[Part One Here] [Part Three Here] [Part Four Here] [Masterlist]

Irresistible - LN⁴ x Fem!Reader

"Lando Norris"

You two had never broken apart as quickly as you did just then. The pair of you had been in your kitchen, cooking together for the arrival of P and Max. You had forgotten that he had a key. He quickly placed another kiss on your lips before stepping back, sitting on the counter beside you just in time for your brother to walk in.

"Hello, beautiful," P said, walking over to you to place a kiss on your cheek. You greeted her back, returning the gesture.

You and Lando had, expertly, invited the pair for dinner. They didn't know that you and Lando were together. I mean, God. Max would surely kill you for it. Which is exactly why this wasn't a double date. It was simply two roommates, one roommates brother and the brother's girlfriend having dinner.

It wouldn't be the first double date that you two had. You had also had some with Alex and Lily, as those two had witnessed your first kiss at the club 8 months prior and had a few with Oscar and Lily, who had only found out about you because Lando accidentally slipped up when he was speaking. Other than that, though, no one knew. You travelled to a lot of his races with him, so, of course, there were rumours about the two of you. However, Max was not suspicious as that had happened since he started driving in Formula One. It was how the sport went. Racing on Friday-Sunday, Rumours from Monday-Wednesday, Answering those rumours on Thursday. It was just part of the sport.

The group of you began to discuss how you had been, how things had been going. You all stood in the kitchen talking so that you could cook and still be involved. "What about you, Lan? Have you found someone yet, mate?"

Almost as if it was rehearsed (it was), Lando began to use his excuse. You both had agreed that, had this question came up, you would say you weren't, and he could choose on the day. "There's someone I'm interested in. She's great. We've talked, but I haven't taken her out on a proper date yet." You smiled as you stirred the pot of pasta. Smart, you thought. Technically, it's not a lie. He hadn't taken you out on an official date, just you two, but you had been on double dates, and you had also had many dates in the house. And when you went out in public together, it wasn't considered an official date, so no one was suspicious. Didn't mean you both didn't consider them dates.

"That's great, mate. It's about time you got yourself out there. I swear, since we were little, it was always 'yeah there's someone I like but we can't be together', I had started thinking that you might love my sister." Max let out a chuckle as you thanked God that you were facing away from him as you listened in, more intrigued. You decided to start teasing Lando.

"Awwe. Used to have a little crush on me, did you?"

Lando picked up on the usual jokey-flirting and decided to hit back. "Nope. Can't stand you."

"Yeah, yeah, that's why you used to get super nervous talking to me when we were 13." You turned to him, watching as his face flushed slightly red out of being called out. He was only able to mumble a 'shut up' in response, making you and Max laugh.

"Doesn't surprise me, I was amazing and very funny and beautiful growing up."

"Still are. Except for the beautiful part," He quickly added the last part onto his sentence as he spoke too quickly for that to be considered friendly. Max eyed him before turning away. You began to plate up the pasta and sent Max off to go set the table, P opting to follow him. "That was close," Lando whispered to you, causing you to wack him gently.

"God, Lan. Watch what you say," you responded, placing your hand on his face to pull him in for a quick kiss. That kiss turned into a longer one, though, as he clearly didn't want to break away from it.

"Right. Make yourself useful." You said, pulling away before they could get caught. You passed him two plates. "Go take these out please. This one is P's, this one is Max's."

"Yes ma'am. Do I get paid with another kiss?"

You rolled your eyes, placing another peck to his lips before he grinned, heading out of the room with the plates.

You grabbed the other two, following suit and placing them on the table. "Right, I'll be back in a second, I'm going to run some food over to Martine."

"Alright, tell her I say hi," Lando responded as you went to the kitchen.

A look of confusion appeared on Max's face. "Who's Martine?"

"Our neighbour. She's 60, and she's been struggling a lot recently because her husband passed last month, so we've been taking her food and inviting her over for dinner so she isn't lonely."

"Aw, that's lovely!" P said, smiling as the door shut.

You stepped across the hallway, knocking the door of your neighbour opposite. After a few minutes, she answered. "Hi. How are you?"

"I'm good, how are you doing? We have some extra food, so I wanted to bring it over for you." You passed her the tub of food, and she smiled gratefully.

"Oh, thank you, dear. I'm feeling a little better than yesterday. It's getting easier day by day, you know?"

You nodded in response, accepting the hug she offered you. "Would you like to come over for dinner again on Friday? Like we have been doing the past few weeks?"

"Are you sure it wouldn't be too much bother?"

"Not at all. I would've invited you over today, but my brother and his girlfriend are over for dinner, and I remember you saying that big groups got a little overwhelming for you."

"Ah right, having a double date, are you?"

You shook your head. "No, my brother doesn't know about Lando and I. Lando says hi by the way."

"Oh, do tell him I say hi back. How come your brother doesn't know? Haven't you been together for 8 months now?"

You grinned cheekily in response to her question. She was such an angel. You absolutely loved Martine. She was hands down the sweetest neighbour you had. "Lando was Max's best friend before he was my boyfriend, so Max would be a little upset if he found out."

"Oh, right. Well, you can't decide who you fall in love with, darling." You heard a door open behind you. "Love is something you can't really control. If you feel like someone is really, really right for you, he probably is, you know?"

You froze when you heard a voice behind you. "Uh. Sorry, who are you in love with?"

Martine turned to your brother. "Oh, hello, you must be the brother. I've heard a lot about you. Don't mind our conversation, dear. I was just telling her about my daughter and her new boyfriend. I'm Martine."

'Martine, you legend,' you thought as she smiled sweetly and innocently.

"Oh right, I'm Max." He shook her hand before looking at you. "Where's the red wine?" You turned to see Lando poking his head around the door too, shooting you a wink.

"Top cupboard, right at the back. I had to put it back there because someone..." You paused to dramatically look at Lando. "Smashed up the last bottle we had."

"It was an accident."

"Yep. And now I have to Lando-proof everything." You turned to Martine. "Right, Martine. I'll leave you, your daughter and her boyfriend, be. Do tell them I say hi."

"Of course, dear. It was lovely to see you, as always. See you Friday."

You three headed back inside, Max heading to grab the wine.

Sitting at the table, you and P waited patiently for the return of Max and Lando. You made friendly conversation, as always. You two always got along quite well. P looked around for any signs of the boys before leaning towards you. "So... Anyone you're interested in?"

You looked at the woman. She knew something. You sighed, shrugging. "There is someone I am interested in. Please don't tell Max though, we both know he'll get all protective twin about this."

She nodded. "Do I get to know who? Because I could take a few guesses."

You shook your head. "Maybe some other time when people can't listen in."

She understood, luckily, and it was only a few moments until the boys reappeared, laughing away as they carried the wine glasses in. Lando sat beside you, gently giving your hand a quick squeeze under the table.

Dinner went normally, you all talked and messed about, the usual. You then all retreated to the living room to play some games.

"Oh fuck you!" Max wasn't happy as you crossed the line once again to take first place, having barely overtaken him just before the end due to an ability you had saved. "You cheated!"

"You can't cheat in Mario Kart, Max. Stop bitching because I'm better."

"Right," Lando spoke up before they could continue arguing. "Bed time, I think. What do you think?" The other 3 of you nodded in agreement. Max and P would be staying over so Lando had given up his room, stating that he was more than happy to sleep on the pull out sofa bed in your room.

You were laid down on your bed as Lando locked the door, Max and P having already retreated to Lando's room and P having already fallen asleep. Lando was the last to come to bed. He took his shirt off, placing it on your chair before removing his jeans so he was only in boxers. He slid into bed beside you, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you into him. He let out a soft, content noise as you cuddled up closer to him. "I've missed doing this."

"Lan, it's only been a few hours," you noted as one of his hands ran up to play with your hair.

"A few hours too long, being away from you sucks so bad."

"What are you going to do when you go off to races, then?"

"I don't know." He looked down at you, placing a kiss on your forehead. "You could always come with me."

You looked up to meet his eyes. "To which ones?"

"All of them." He paused, taking some time to admire your face, to watch the way to smiled softly. "Every. Single. One." He placed kisses to your lips between each word before placing his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes.

"Okay."

"Okay? You will come to more races with me?" His eyes lit up as he thought of all the time you could spend cuddling after his races.

"Lando." You stopped speaking a second, your hand moving to the side of his face, thumb gently moving over his cheek. "I would go anywhere that you asked me to."

He pulled you into another hug, his head on top of yours, squeezing you tight, not wanting to let go. He whispered a few I love you's to you, placing kisses all over your face as he spoke. He then placed another to your lips, a longer one than previous. One full of love, adoration. One that made you feel that you two were the only people in the world. One that made you feel like nothing else ever mattered. One that showed you that, no matter what Max thinks when he finds out about your relationship, it really doesn't matter. As long as he had you, everything was perfect and how it should be. You balanced him, you showed him the love that he always dreamt of being shown. You showed him what adoring someone truly felt like. And he found you irresistible. He would always find you irresistible.

-The End-

[Word Count - 2,012]

Hi All,

Another part to the Lando Norris "Irresistible" story because I thought the first part could do with a part two. Hope you are all well, as always, have a lovely day x

Alocon

[ree-dee-art]

Honestly, I must admit that I'm not too fond of fan artists changing/headcanoning Harry and James to be as desi/dark skinned. I personally think the Dursleys are far more despicable due to hating on someone not because of skin color/racial prejudice(because then they would've no doubt hated Kingsley), but because someone is not their definition of 'normal'/ looks & acts not to their standards. It's already stretching it with race changing Hermione and making her a big target of wizard prejudice on muggles. And it also kills the prejudice Lily faced, because she's still fair skinned.

Initially, I was just going to respond to this by encouraging anon to go touch some grass.

However, I feel somewhat compelled to respond, because there is just so much to unpack in this single nonsensical message.

Firstly, I honestly don't get a whole lot of asks or messages in general, so receiving this one out of the blue was a bit wild for me. The nature of fandom itself allows for and embraces a plethora of different interpretations and headcanons for any given character. In many ways, this is the beauty of fandom--to take a beloved character and ask "what if?" I have no problem with someone having a different interpretation of a character from my own. What confuses me is this person's method for expressing their opinion. Why are you anonymously sending this to a stranger? Why not make a text post on your own blog about it? Like...what is your goal here, anon? I'm an artist who draws what I enjoy, and sometimes I share these drawings in the hopes that someone else might enjoy them too. Not your vibe? Not my problem. Go find some white Harry artwork to appreciate, there's plenty out there. Were you hoping I would change my own interpretation and headcanon of Harry or Hermione to fit your own? Lol, tough luck. No one is stopping you from drawing your own pictures.

All of that aside, your reasoning for your preference of having characters like James, Harry, and Hermione not be POC is incredibly confusing to me. You said you believe the Dursleys are "far more despicable" for hating Harry not because of skin color but because he didn't match their "definition of normal." I have a few follow-up questions regarding this (wildly inane imo) take:

1. Does this mean you believe the Dursleys hypothetically also hating Harry because of the color of his skin is in some way less despicable than them hating him because he can do magic?

2. What exactly do you think racism is, if not "hating someone because they don't match your definition of 'normal?'"

3. How does Hermione being black and muggleborn erase the discrimination Lily faced for also being muggleborn? Do you know that intersectionaily exists?

Some of the most interesting creations I've encountered in the HP fandom (fics and art) explore the complexities in the intersections between racial discrimination, white supremacy, and pureblood fanaticism. And there truly is so much to explore in these themes (for example: ways in which Harry could have been separated not only from his loving family, but also a part of his culture. It also allows for interesting and more complex ways for Harry and Hermione to bond and relate to each other in their friendship, etc).

For me, more diversity within these characters (whether it be race, queerness, or anything else) allows for much richer storytelling and much more interesting characters. If that's not your jam, then perhaps my work isn't for you.

However, I will say--this message is very much giving "only white characters and muggle discrimination allowed!!!" and I encourage you to ask yourself why that is the only context for these characters you feel comfortable with.

But seriously, go touch some grass.

[maxdibert]

Honestly, if Severus had had emotional maturity, he would have realized that Lily always minimized his harassment by the marauders, like "boys will be boys." If I were Snape, I would have cut off the friendship a long time ago. What would you do in Severus' position?

The problem with Severus and Lily's relationship is that it wasn’t built on equal footing. Lily made a friend, possibly like many others in her life, because she came from a structured family with a solid foundation in interpersonal relationships. Despite her issues with Petunia, we know her parents adored her and were thrilled to have a witch for a daughter, so we can assume her emotional role models were quite positive, which helped her build relationships at school and even become somewhat popular. For Severus, though, Lily wasn’t just a friend. Severus came from a poor and dysfunctional family, his father was abusive, and his mother didn’t seem to do much to protect her son from that abuse. His view of relationships and affection was already deeply distorted by the environment he grew up in. For him, being with Lily, playing with her, was a way to escape what was happening at home. It was a moment of peace, of stability, something he wasn’t familiar with. I genuinely believe he developed a very strong emotional dependency on her and her attention, because, from childhood, Lily represented everything good, everything that made him feel safe and important to someone.

Then adolescence hit, and they had very different interests and goals. I don’t hate Lily, but I do think she was a bit shallow. I mean, ending up with a rich, socially successful bully is pretty shallow. And it fits her character, because at the end of the day, she was a lower-middle-class girl in the Muggle world, and a Muggle-born in the magical world—she didn’t belong to any relevant social class in either. So, being pursued and courted by the most popular guy in her year, who was also super rich and from an important family, must have appealed to her. J.K. Rowling said in an interview, when someone mentioned that Lily supposedly hated James, that “Lily never hated James. You, as a woman (to the interviewer), should understand or know that.” She hinted that all the hatred towards James was an act and that she was actually attracted to him, which tells me a lot about Lily as a person and her values. I would never date a bully, whether or not they had attacked my friend. If I saw someone constantly abusing others at school, I wouldn’t date that person, but Lily did. And I don’t think it was because James made her believe he had changed, manipulated her, or any of the nonsense people say. I don’t think Lily was stupid. I think she knew exactly what she was doing by getting involved with someone who could give her social status, a life of comfort, and a position she didn’t have in either the magical or Muggle world.

Severus clearly went in a different direction. He wasn’t doing well at school, and the rich, popular kids decided that picking on him was easier than going after their rich, pure-blood classmates, because those pure-bloods could get them into real trouble, so it was easier, more comfortable, and safer to go after the weakest link—the poor half-blood. They made life unbearable for someone who already felt that life outside of school was equally unbearable. They bullied someone who was already being abused outside of school, and that’s probably what pushed Severus—if he already had an interest in the Dark Arts—closer to more negative influences.

Lily and Severus grew apart as they matured, and this is completely normal. It happens to all of us as kids. We all had those close childhood friends who took different paths during adolescence, and that’s okay. The problem is that, despite everything, Severus still saw Lily as that symbol of his childhood happiness. She was his happy memory (which is why the whole Patronus thing makes a lot of sense), because he probably didn’t have happier moments than the ones he shared with her. And in the midst of all the bullying and questionable influences at Hogwarts, during the early years, Lily was probably also his safe space. But Lily didn’t see Severus in the same way, and I’m not talking about romance, but rather that she didn’t see their friendship as something necessary, something emotionally vital for her. Severus was dependent; she wasn’t.

In a way, I think that, beyond emotional immaturity, Severus also lacked healthy emotional role models, and therefore he didn’t realize that Lily was actually kind of a jerk. Add to that the fact that he was blinded by her, considering her his emotional anchor, and he probably wasn’t able to see her negative traits. That’s also very common.

I believe that if Lily hadn’t died and Severus had had the chance to have a life of his own without sacrificing all his autonomy and independence to serve Dumbledore, over time he would have matured and gained perspective, because despite everything, he was a smart guy. He would have realized that his relationship with Lily was always one-sided, and I think he could have started fresh and become a functional person. But he never got that chance. It’s been proven in psychiatry that abuse victims who don’t process their traumas remain stuck in the time period when the abuse occurred. In Severus’ case, the abuse started in childhood and continued throughout adolescence, so it’s logical and normal that he ended up being a very dysfunctional adult, unable to manage his emotions properly or set limits for himself when situations triggered him too much. In some ways, he acts like a child. The comment about Hermione’s teeth is childish—it sounds like something Draco would say, and Draco is a teenager. The same goes for many of his remarks to Harry or Neville, which are basically sarcastic jabs from a bratty kid being a jerk. I think we see this best (because it happens between equals, interestingly between two people with significant emotional issues) when he has several confrontations with Sirius. Maybe Sirius’ immaturity is more obvious because he’s a loudmouth and pretty extroverted, but Severus also behaves like a brat, which shows that despite not spending 12 years in Azkaban, he hasn’t grown either. If we think about it, Severus had his own Azkaban: Hogwarts. He had to return to the place where he had a terrible time and experienced several of his worst traumas, to teach, even though he didn’t even want to be a teacher, and he had to adopt that jerk persona to mask all the emotions and insecurities he felt being there. You can’t heal in the place where you were hurt. You can’t heal by giving up your life for a greater good. You can’t heal while feeling guilty over the death of someone who was once the most important person in your life. Severus was stuck in adolescence mentally, even though he was an adult. And this happens a lot with victims like him.

Honestly, despite everything, I think Severus was quite level-headed and pretty decent. Or maybe I’m saying this because I’m more of a jerk than he is, but I would have made James Potter and Sirius Black suffer a lot. I would have found out all their secrets and made them public, putting all my efforts into making them wish they were dead and even have suicidal thoughts. And if a friend of mine had acted like Lily, who kind of laughed when Snape was being abused, I would’ve beaten her so badly she’d lose her nose. But well, I have less ethics than Severus and maybe more temper.

[seriousbrat]

this says a lot about Snape's character development for me. There are many parallels drawn throughout the series between Harry and Snape; obviously, they're very different characters but there are similarities too.

I think here Snape is talking about himself. The teenaged Snape we see in the Pensieve is very much like this- emotional, heart on his sleeve, easily provoked, a definite wallower in sad memories... weak. Adult Snape, though he retains some of these characteristics that do emerge in stressful moments (in PoA we see how angrily he reacts to Sirius's escape, for instance) on the whole is a great deal more thoughtful, reserved, calculating, measured.

I think that Snape at some point had to force himself to become this. I think he actually relates to Harry here, and is giving him advice based on personal experience. In my fic he begins to learn to control his emotions partially out of a desire to protect Lily; he's fully aware that she's his weakness (or really, his strength, viewed a different way) and that openly displaying any sort of emotion towards her at all makes her vulnerable to the likes of Avery and Mulciber, who will have the perfect weapon to get to him if they want to.

Severus doesn't have the advantages of his peers, he's not pureblood, he wasn't born into money. If he wants to join the Death Eaters and rise in their ranks, he needs to be subtle, cunning, careful. he can't afford to be careless and entitled like mulciber or bellatrix or even sirius. what he's got to offer isn't his name or his money, it's his sheer talent and cleverness. moving on:

When Voldemort decides to go after Lily this becomes even more important. Imo the reason why Voldemort believes that Snape only "desired" Lily is because that's what Snape told him. He lied to Voldemort's face and told him something probably disgusting tbh because that's the only way Voldemort would accept it and agree, if it was a selfish, callous request that Voldemort could understand. We can see evidence of this here:

Asking Voldemort to spare a mudblood because he was in love with her would likely not have gone over well- and as we know, Voldemort actually bore his request in mind, though obv didn't give enough of a fuck about Snape to follow through. Because although asking voldemort to spare her must have taken serious balls, Snape's mistake here was trusting someone inherently selfish to do something selfless for him.

Clearly he immediately realises this and goes to Dumbledore, which is when controlling his emotions becomes of paramount importance, because now he's working against perhaps the most highly accomplished legilimens of all time.

It's also interesting to me that Snape in this conversation is probably the character who is most forthright and informative with Harry in the whole of OotP until Dumbledore at the end; Harry actually learns a lot in this conversation. And Snape also kind of gives him credit which is interesting too:

like for Snape that's high praise lmao. A shame because if he wasn't so bitter (i.e. didn't wear his heart on his sleeve so much around harry) then he might have actually been pretty helpful to Harry and a decent teacher. Again, during the Occlumency lessons his unrestrained emotion brought up by memories of James is a hindrance. He defies Dumbledore's orders to teach Harry Occlumency because of his emotional response to SWM, as well as honestly doing kind of a shit job before that (by not being empathetic and teaching Harry in a way that would've been actually productive.)

At this point Dumbledore believes that Harry learning Occlumency and controlling his emotions is of vital importance; he turns out to be wrong about this. In Harry's case, it turns out to be his emotional nature that saves him- unlike Snape, who is the opposite. Snape's journey is about learning that some things are more important than his selfish need to give into his own emotions.

By DH Snape's learned this lesson fully; his old hatred for James doesn't stop him from doing what has to be done, from giving Harry the tools he needs. Even in the final moments of his life, he can look past James and see Lily in Harry- and, by giving Harry the information that leads to his self-sacrifice, he can let her go.

[sugarcreambiteskingdom]

https://www.tumblr.com/dollyrin/764243962401849344/hey-yo-can-i-request-headcannons-of-the-ancient?source=share

I'm not the original Anon but I would like to see your take on this idea

Cream Oreo Cookie: Sure thing! I'll do my best because I didn't read the whole thing and only the ask of it 😅

Pure Vanilla Cookie

The way you steal everything in his castle and then bring it back confuses him and got him interested in it actually

Instead of stealing the artifact or anything that holds great value in history or could be sold for riches you bring it back

Though there is one thing you stole that you never went and give it back which was his heart

As he walks through the halls just to get a glass of water he would saw a glimpse of you in the darkness on the window ready to leave..."Y/N Cookie?" He called out to you

Which you only turned your head around and gave him a wink which immediately made him blush and had his heart skip a beat

And just like that...you took his heart and never gave it back...which he doesn't mind at all actually...

Now every once in a while he will stay up and wait for you...

White Lily Cookie

She was confused on what you want to steal from her when she barely has anything that worths anything since she's always on the move...

Unless you want her soul jam that is? And yet you never touched it..

But you did stole her tools and items she needs for her expedition and has to wait a whole day for you to give it back

She got used to it at this point and while she waits for her items to brought back she improvised to what she can use which actually helped her to be more creative with her ways of doing things like...climbing a mountain...getting something away from her path...or how to light a campfire and etc

You we're very helpful and Wonderful in her perspective..

And she wants to also thank you for giving her flowers in each item you gave back to her

Hollyberry Cookie

You are one cheeky Cookie to be stealing her juice every once and awhile and give it back while putting sticky notes on every juice you stole giving it ratings whether you like them or not which surprised her and actually find it quite funny and entertaining

At this point she would put one of her personal favorites out and check if you like it and some of it did made it to be one of your favorites which she was glad

Wild berry Cookie on the other hand is confused to why Her Majesty is even entertaining this but unfortunately he can't do anything about it let alone his son either...

So they let her be

In one of the juice you stole you actually found a sticky note on it saying..."You do know having juice all alone is very dull right? But having a plus one doesn't!"

Dark Cacao Cookie

You are one very odd Cookie for him

I mean how can you break in his walls and stole some of his weapons but what is much more baffling is the fact you put it back where you find them

You even out sticky note on some weapons saying where you got in and how you managed to get the said weapon which...helped him to actually be more secure and improvised with his way of securing his kingdom which he..thank you for that...

Those notes also have small puns from here and there which he unfortunately inherited from you despite how he has it but...because of you...he starts to actually smile which he won't admit Ofcourse

Golden Cheese Cookie

She was amazed from your greediness and how you managed to get pass her most trusted and most strongest guard of the gates Burnt Cheese Cookie

You stole a lot of gold from her and yet you give it back...you are one interesting Thief Y/N Cookie

She told Burnt Cheese Cookie to actually let you pass which he was baffle and even was taken a back from that but...he can't do anything because her Majesty has made up her mind so...he lets you in whether he likes it or not

Until...you gave her a sticky note saying to let him fight you because you had fun playing with him and his jackals and snakes

Burnt Cheese Cookie was not sure if he should be annoyed or relief to not let in a thief like you into the Golden City whether you give the stolen items back or not

Golden Cheese Cookie was entertained by your greediness and wondered if you plan on stealing more artifacts from her in her Golden City and Palace

[mirandyficlists]

Hi hi! I’d like to know what your Top 10 Holy Grail fics are? Like I’m talking about fics you would reccommend in a heart beat, fics that you feel are written extremely well that they feel like they should be published or something, fics that have really good pacing, right amount of fluff, angst, or smut. Or even ones that are just silly and fun. It would be cool to read some of your favs!

Hey Nonnie

First my standard answer to the top ten query...10!!! 10!!! You think i can narrow it down to 10!! LOLOLOL

Secondly, I'm flattered you want to know my preferences as a guide...but then that's what my spreadsheet is all about I guess. lol

Okay I did manage to keep myself to 30 fics and I will say I would live quite happily if the first 10 were all I was ever allowed to read for the ret of my life. Just saying. Heh

I've also included my reviews of each fic from my Spreadsheet of 2250+ Mirandy fics to explain my love for the fics.

If you want the fics that are no longer online just message me privately with your email and I'll send my zipped file of deleted Mirandy fics your way.

Happy Reading Nonnie

All the Breast

XVNot15

Top ten and why?

The Lady And Her Dragons by Bearblue https://archiveofourown.org/works/21738811/chapters/51860098

(WIP) OMG!!!!!!!!!!  So amazingly wonderful and magical and well just damned hot!  Full of myth and magic, Miranda and Cruella are real Dragons and Andy is their Lady. Magical machinations and battles ensue. The story is compelling and Bearblue controls the content of magical information absolutely beautifully, you're interest is captured, but you're not over whelmed with more information than what is required for the story she is telling.  Again it has to be said. OMG!!! I have now read this fic over 500 times…and I mean that! Have read it once a week and sometimes 2 or 3 times a week for more than a decade.

Truth and Measure by Telanu https://archiveofourown.org/works/779826/chapters/1468543

The downfall of my anti Mirandy life that dragged me kicking and cursing into the heart of the Mirandyverse. This is what I call a Simchat Torah story. Much like the holiday in which the last chapter of Torah is read and then the first chapter immediately afterward to start the cycle again. And that's just what I did with this one. Miranda discovers after the separation with Stephen that she is pregnant and as she copes with that Andy helps her and eventually Miranda proposes a mutually beneficial relationship...which Andy then proceeds to turn on its head almost immediately. Excellently written and adored the characterisations of both women.

It’s All Relative by Hawkbehere https://archiveofourown.org/works/5884348/chapters/13561771

OMFG!! This is an amazing story. Well written and excellently paced as well. Post Paris H/C piece where Miranda is shot and Andy runs to her side to help and care for her.. A very complex and interesting characterisation of both M and A. The hints at Sub/dom with true love and respect were pitched absolutely meltingly perfect And the passion of Miranda's need for Andy is mind blowing.

Small Favors Series  by Chillyflame https://archiveofourown.org/works/2793701/chapters/6270377

Andy wins a press award and sees Miranda. They talk and Andy acknowledges her feelings to herself. Andy sends a lily as a thank you. Hot first kiss in the conference room at the Mirror. The girls are very supportive as the relationship develops. INTERLUDE - Hot late night quickie in Miranda's office.  BEAUTIFUL THINGS - sees the development  of the relationship through some early rough spots. They're outed by Miranda's PR firm. Loved the twins with their pudding balloon bombs. HERE TO STAY - GOOD FORTUNE –

Fur No Thanks I’d Rather Go Naked by Writtensword (Deleted but I have the fic and can send it.)

Ooooooooooo so totally wonderful this story read it 3 times one after the other. Miranda is magically turned into a Mink and only Andrea can hear her speak and she takes care of her as they try to undo the spell. The characterisation of Mink Miranda is sooooooooooooooo terrific I want more Mink tales. heh  Lovely denoument when Miranda turns back to her human form.

Like Andrea Series by Ginstan https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940092

Ooooooooooooooo romance, mystery, intrigue and damn fine writing! Loved this fic! Andy is alerted to the fact that Miranda needs help when Runway does an edition where every single model looks like her. She comes to Miranda's rescue and their relationship develops super fast and super beautifully..  And beautiful mini FOL crossover! heheh I adore the characterisations of a vulnerable Miranda and a very soft butch Andy.

A Failure to Communicate by thelastgoodname https://archiveofourown.org/works/5300144

Miranda decides to Marry Andy and is busy dictating the plans to Andy just one problem... She hasn't actually asked Andy out on a date yet or anything else.  Cue a very confused Andy and a backpeddling Miranda. Ohhh my aching sides!!!! This is just soooooooooooo funny and sooooo well written.It's just brilliant!

Admiration by Punky_96 https://archiveofourown.org/works/14936337

Swooooooooooon!! Total romance and way HOT sex too! Miranda has a secret (not to us though) admirer who is leaving her daily gifts and notes. She becomes smitten and isn't quite sure until the big reveal.  Beautifully written and I loved it, but it ends rather abruptly.

The Brutal Truth by Redcharcoal (Removed as it was published…both are AWESOME! FF is available in the FB Mirandy Group and in my deleted fic file.)

Wonderfully well written piece. Miranda claims to only want the Brutal truth and ends up having a bet with Andrea that she can't get an exclusive interview with a famous designer and the stakes are one day of absolute honesty for Andrea and one week for Miranda. Andy outs Stephen as a predator and Miranda fires her...but then she gets the exclusive interview with the Deuchamps and they become her friends.

Miranda’s Runway series by Jehc https://archiveofourown.org/works/1242412/chapters/2552452

Oh the joy of a well written and well crafted characterisation piece.  Love this 4 years post Paris piece with Andy having a daughter she has actually named Miranda but who she calls Mandy who is somehting of an artistic prodigy. Andy has written a series of amazingly successful books on fashion but remains anonymous until she trades her privacy to foil Irvs latest almost successful coups against Miranda.  Things follow on from there, when little Mandy meets Randa and they fall for each other as hard as Miranda falls for Andrea.  Amazing fic.

The Fall and the Landing & 90 Days to Glory by Brithna/Ash_Mountain https://archiveofourown.org/works/481161

Warning: Character Death. My God almighty what a powerful piece of writing! This is not fanfiction, this is life, this is the most skillful playing of all that it is to be human, fragile, and to hold friendship and love as the reward for the pain and challenge that those prizes intrinsically bring with them. Have tissues ready, and be prepared to read with your heart and know that love is the force that truly connects all life.

On a Tractor by Bearblue https://archiveofourown.org/works/11696331/chapters/26333922

OMG! Absolutely brilliantly written long post Paris piece. Andy lends up inheriting a farm which she decides to run and she becomes quite the nature photographer as well. Miranda wants her farm for a photoshoot and goes out to visit and things take their natural course. Bear's writing is incredibly fluid and tinglingly evocative. Love the characterisation of Andy in this one. A Simchat Torah - immediate re-reader.

Break it Down With Joy by Winter156 https://archiveofourown.org/works/1394080

A drabble that is sheer perfection. A and M are friends, Andy has declared her love but Miranda has stated that they will never have a physical relationship, Andy stays anyway, suffering the pain of incompleteness, until that moment of decision. Excellently written, and soooo poignant.

By Heart by Chillyflame https://archiveofourown.org/works/2673044/chapters/5976851

Swooooooooooon, mushfest!! With lovely hot sexiness too. A H/C tale where Andy ends up with a broken leg on a ski weekend and Miranda cares for her in their cabin as they get snowed in for a couple of days and the heating fails heheh. But there is a fireplace and while 'keeping warm' one thing leads to another.

Basic Black by Beachbum https://archiveofourown.org/works/29045490

Brava BB, a lovely piece set post Paris. Nigel who has stayed friends with Andy decides to play matchmaker for the two women in his life. The description of Andy's suit was totally droolsome. And the love scene, wow, took my breath away. Loooooooooved the ending, god Miranda in nothing but a white dress shirt, but still so totally confident and in control of the situation. Yowsa!!

Disarming Athena by Politic X https://archiveofourown.org/works/11921940/chapters/26942895

Wonderful but sometimes distressing psychological exploration that occurs between Miranda and Andy. Many of the interactions take place in the elevator. Miranda appears to be torturing Andy with invitations and demands for her to touch her clothes but not her. Then she fires Andy and this behaviour continues as Andy works her notice.  Eventual happy ending.

Hidden Yet Bright by needled_ink https://archiveofourown.org/works/97340

Swoooooooooooooon, a beautiful and well written short of a developing friendship gently shifting into more but without strings. Loved the chartacterisations of both Andy and Miranda.

In Some Quite Casual Way by Winter156 https://archiveofourown.org/works/621060/chapters/1120824

Holy mother of mountains what a fic. From a request for a story that involved a character with wings. Miranda is a fallen angel of sorts and saves Andy when she falls out a skyscraper window. Declarations of love, and serious sweaty snugglebunnies followed by major storyline and escellent denouement. Gret writing, amazing story, just amazing.

Lost Treasures by Jazwriter  (Removed as it was published…both are AWESOME! FF is available in the FB Mirandy Group and in my deleted fic file.)

  Wow! Andy works as a sales clerk and then a Window dresser in  a small boutique. Her window designs cpature Miranda's attention and fascination. She takes Andy under her wing and mutual attraction sparks. Great little fic.

Objects and Space by Stormashke https://archiveofourown.org/works/15126698

Absolutely Stunning!!!!  Compellingly written with just the right meter and timing. Wonderful internal dialogue from Miranda's pov in an established relationship. She travels through the different rooms of the house noting the evidence of Andy's presence that still bug her…but also noting their indications of Andy's space in her heart and the twins heart and the things she will live with in that space of love.

Rebellious Lock & When Locks Get Locked by Quiethearted http://ralst.com/RebelliousLock.HTM

Ohh soooooooo funny!!!! Miranda's hair has a mind of it's own and it's concentrating on one particular brunette. This is comic writing at it's best. I'm still chuckling.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee, sequel!  Woohoo, Miranda's hair has awakened an interest from Andy's hair and all is set for the clash of the tresses. Oh soooo wonderfully funny, I so hope this series continues, I want postcoital follicle frolics. Heheh

Sharp Relief by chillyflame https://archiveofourown.org/works/2672990/chapters/5976701

AMAZING fic!!!!! Wow Andy gets a call reporting that Miranda has died in a car crash on her way to her weekend cabin. She goes into shock and faces the fact of how much she loved her. She helps with the twins and stays at the townhouse until there is another call that send her and the girls out into the night chasing a hope agaisnt hope.  So amazing this.

The Lily and the Crown by Telanu (now published) https://archiveofourown.org/works/750438/chapters/1400746

Andren is the reclusive daughter of one of the Empires most capable Station Masters. Assistant - her new slave is the dread space Pirate Queen Mir. Seduction, debauchery, abandonment and redemption in this Space Swashbuckler.Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Gaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwdddddddddd!!!!!!!!!  Wow!!!! Fluids!!!!!!! This is just soooooooooooo wonderfully hot and romantic and hot and well good god I loved it. Okay, perhaps the Andren character was a little bit tooo clueless, but perhaps wonderfully evocative of another time. Still it was a great story and really interesting.

Unexpected Grace by Silverie https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9092005/1/Unexpected-Grace

Amazingly well written fic starting with amazing dream sequances of ancient days and a Goddess/priestess Miranda, perfectly mirrored in a waking world of events. Andy expands her life into music when she comes to own a beautiful guitar decorated with a dragon...linking to her desire for a certain dragon lady.  Lyrically written. Brilliant!!!!

A not exactly storybook romance by writetherest https://archiveofourown.org/works/923207/chapters/1793725

An AU where Andy is independently wealthy and owns a book store which Cassidy starts to visit daily as Andy befriends her. Eventually Miranda and she meet and after a bad decision it's a wonderfully sweet love story. Absolutely wonderful romance done here, adore the shier sweeter Andy.

Farsighted by emeraldorchids https://archiveofourown.org/works/6129537/chapters/14047437

Excellent mid length piece. All from Miranda's pov, chronicling how she and Andrea slip into a wonderful and easy friendship after Paris, that several months later morphs into more. What I love is the realness of Miranda in this fic as a full fledged human being all balance and counter balance with strengths and weaknesses.  And I enjoyed the reality check and stunned Miranda after Andy kisses her. As well as the gradual exploration afterward. The upshot with the page six comment picture in bed is a perfect ending.

Four Corners by Chillyflame https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039309/chapters/2073686

Truth be told, this is a ten star effort. I looooved it! A phenomonally wonderful piece, well written and amazingly characterised. All told from Cassidy's pov as she lives her parents divorce, the advent and demise of Stephen and the new and wonderful inclusion of Andy in her mother's and the twins lives.

Caught Between the Moon and New York City Series  by Punky_96 https://archiveofourown.org/series/1027544

Brilliant story of Miranda as a werewolf and pack leadercaptured by a secret research facility that captures and studies paranormal creatures where Andy works.  Grat adventure unfolds as they escape and Andy's true nature is discovered. Excellently written and intriguing backstory.

After Dark by LiteraryAssasin https://archiveofourown.org/works/20560673/chapters/48807857

A wonderfully characterised slow burn, friends to lovers fic. Well written and engaging of course, from an excellent bard. Andy grows a backbone in the best and most proactive way…almost swapping some of her softness for some of Miranda’s firmness so that they can both balance themselves and each other. I adored Miranda’s oh so careful way of helping Andy while trying also not to overwhelm her with that help.  A nifty little sub pairing of a mirrored couple is so seamlessly done it’s just amazing.  Also touches on an idea I’ve had for quite some time…may have to dust that one off.

If and When by Kamuraskan https://archiveofourown.org/works/12821418/chapters/29271045

WOOT!!! No greater love hath a Bard for another Bard than to make an offering in a completely unfamiliar fandom. (Thanks Gin.) Most wonderfully well written and amazing Disaster/survival fic. Andy uncovers a terrorist plot to blow up the EC building the night the VP is attending a party there. She isn't believed by Homeland security so she approaches the new CEO of EC...Miranda they manage to evacuate the building but are still on the 20th floor when the bombs go off....suspense, love and amazingness commence.

[yallthemwitches]

Some James (and Potter family) Headcanon

Because I always seem to fixate on Lily hc and he needs some love:

---James didn't really chase after Lily because she was pretty, intelligent, and cheeky (though those helped) but rather because she was a challenge for him. Not in the sense that she said no for years and he loved the chase, but because Lily as a person really expanded his worldview. Due to his extremely coddled upbringing and lush life due to his blood status/ quidditch ability, James always gravitated to people that made his life more difficult in an enriching way: Sirius was the first person to ever "hit back" with his own antics and not shy away from taking the piss out of him, Remus had a troubled life completely foreign to James that provided lots of apparent troubles but also made James see bravery in a new light, and Peter made him a mentor figure who saw merit even in meekness. Lily came from a different background from him and despite having a temper was highly rational and never reactionary even when faced with discrimination. Despite growing up in one of the hardest times to be a muggleborn, she overcame it. She found meaning and joy in even the darkest places ( her friendship with Snape being the most difficult of examples to understand.) and made James better because she didn't resign to looking at the world like he did, but rather sharpened his vision of it.

--Of all the many muggle movies Lily showed James, his absolute favorite was Harold and Maude ( Hal Ashby 1971). It was the first time he had ever seen a depiction of mortality really laid out in front of him and it was the first time Lily ever saw him cry.

--Nothing made James more angry than when Lily would be harassed for her blood status and the fact that she was dating him. This feeling was often left unresolved as Lily refused to let him retaliate, saying it was stooping to their level to fight back.

---While also having just natural unruly hair, James like keeping his hair unkept because it was an act of rebellion from his parents who acquired the family fortune on hair taming products. He felt like it brought a sense of irony to the household.

---I feel like this one MUST be canon: James hated Snape for a lot of reasons but I think the biggest was that he was so close to Lily for so long and James was never so lucky. Then, once Snape started to be into dark magic it was all the more reason to detest him.

--I know everyone loves Fleamont, but I am always partial to thinking about Euphemia Potter because there is so little known about her. I like to think she was a very eccentric and worldly person who gave her interest in muggle things to her son. I have this image of her listening to 1960s muggle zamrock around the house ( artists like WITCH and Amanaz---60s trippiness meets African traditional music). For a while I had this headcanon that she worked directly with the Statue of Secrecy Department ( hence why she met the Potters' in the first place due to Henry Potter's influence) so she was very up to date on the very thin line squibs and muggles would walk into either finding or revealing the wizarding world (like how hilarious would it be if someone like Alejandro Jodowosky or David Lynch was a squib and Euphemia was their case worker and had to call them up and be like "Cutie, you are giving away too much, take it down a notch" so they don't accidentally reveal wizard secrets.) For this reason her and Lily got along really well.

--James really loved to read! Everyone always makes James this jock, prankster bad boy but the kid was super smart ( I mean he became an animangus and made the marauders map--its literally canon). He had loads of books on Transfiguration and mostly read nonfiction, but Lily got him to read more fiction and muggle works once they got together. He was more practical about his reading though and was not very interested in the more existential topics that Sirius would often carry around.

--When he found out Lily was pregnant he quit the order on the spot. No questions asked. Lily was annoyed by this for a while. He pulled them out of missions before she had even finished her first trimester and even so she felt like he would have been much more helpful out on the field then playing house with her at home (especially when she wasn't even showing yet). Lily even wanted to keep doing missions until she was farther in her pregnancy, but James was beside himself about the idea of her continuing to be in danger while pregnant. It was one of the biggest fights they ever had and ended with James crying, which immediately broke Lily down.

(Art source @blvnk-art )

[brittle-doughie]

Hey howdy hello again! Wrote the one thing with reader cookie stabbing Burning Spice with a dagger despite having their leg broken off. I’m back about the beast ancients au I was talking about in the first part of that ask, since you didn’t say anything about it, I just assumed you didn’t want to hear about it. No worries, I don’t mind!

Anyways I’ve had a hell of a time hammering out the specifics of what’s going on, as it turns out planning a war is a huge pain in the ass. But I’ll just toss you the more interesting bits and get out of your hair.

For context, the main cookie this all revolves around, Star Heart Cookie, created a barrier to protect her/their kingdom. The caveat to it being that so long as you genuinely don’t want to kill the cookies within the barrier, you can walk in and out whenever you want

(For the sake of this ask, Star Heart is the reader insert and is thus getting they/them pronouns, there’s a different set of cookies meant to be the reader inserts but I haven’t gotten there yet so :p)

So, where to start I suppose.. probably Vanilla. True Vanilla Cookie specifically

Yeah bro is trying to pacifist ending Shadow Milk, and SM is just kind of offended? Bc Vanilla ascended to become the Beast of Totality, and is essentially trying to become the holder of Knowledge without getting the other soul jam. This has, predictably, really messed him up. But he still makes it a point to go on weekly picnics to see Star Heart. (The fact that he doesn’t know whats weakened them so much is driving him insane)

One of the other beasts who can pass through the barrier, Mythril Lily Cookie, also shows up to ensure that Star Hearts barrier holds. Though she is a little very concerned about the fact that no matter what, Star Heart never seems to be getting any better. When she isn’t having picnics or trying to dodge True Vanilla’s game of 20,000 questions, she’s usually coordinating an attack on one of the beasts. Usually whichever one happens to be closest to wherever Dark Enchantress is or is planning to use at the time.

Frostbite Cacao is currently trying to plunge all of earthbead into an ice age so that his friends will gain the same resolve that he has. Well, it’s more like so he can usurp their kingdoms bc he thinks they don’t run them very well, but who’s asking? Side note; he’d also actually be allowed through the barrier if it weren’t for the fact that Dark Choco lives within Star Hearts kingdom. He’s also mega paranoid about the fact that Mystic Flour isn’t attacking him anymore. (We’ll get to her don’t worry)

Toxiberry (still not sure about the name) is having a depression due to lore reasons. But due to the power of being a raging alcoholic, you can’t even tell :DDDD Nah but seriously, she and her army are constantly on the move since she knows Lily is looking for her. She’s also hoping that it lures Pitaya Dragon back so she can try and get them to on her side to hopefully gain the upper hand on Eternal Sugar, who has even more beef with her then usual, again, due to lore reasons (I wasn’t actually kidding about the depression thing btw, that’s definitely there)

Gilded Cheese (has very upsetting reasons why she’s called that) is currently trying to revitalize the desert with her new waterbending abilities :)))) you do not want to know what happened to give her that power, I promise. On the bright side, she can also electrocute things now, so that’s neat. She’s generally the closest to her normal self here if I’m honest. Though she’s spending most of her time bringing water to the desert (very suspicious water) and trying to weedwhack the hell out of Vanilla’s creepy orchids that keep spreading. She would also be allowed through the barrier, but only by technicality, since she’s only trying to kidnap Star Heart to use their power to enhance the soulcheese. (And Smoked Cheese is hoping to use them to usurp Gilded but yk shhh)

Onto the og beasts, none of which are allowed through the barrier, for obvious reasons.

Shadow Milk is very busy pretending like he’s not bothered with what’s going on. He’s free now! Why should he care what the others are up to? (He cares immensely) He’s honestly very concerned with how far True Vanilla is getting with his plans, and is pivoting to something else since he knows his usual tactics won’t work. Which ends up in him sending party after party of warriors to ascend the vines up to the Vanilla kingdom in order to break Vanillas focus to stall for time as Shadow figures out a more permanent solution. At least he’s found a new way to infuriate him, by simply saying nothing at all.

Mystic Flour is in the middle of her own plan, which is to use Cacao’s paranoia against him. So currently she’s waiting at the top of her mountain pagoda for him to inevitably break and go after her. She’s also sent Cloud Haetae Cookie to scout out a new meditation spot closer to the Dark Cacao kingdom to better keep watch on it. And definitely not because Star Hearts kingdom is literally right next door, not that at all, nope, not even a little.

Eternal Sugar is completely incensed and is personally hunting down Holly to the ends of earthbread for the sheer audacity of… the lore reasons (I promise it’ll at least be interesting) Or at least she would be, but most of the time Eternal Sugar looses them (literally how it’s an entire army?) and decides to fall asleep until she senses her other piece nearby again, and then she’s off like a bat out of hell.

Burning Spice, is behaving irrationally, even for his standards, which is saying something. Specifically speaking, he’s… well he’s waiting on the barrier, hasn’t really moved since the Beast War ended. The only thing that does get him to move away is whenever Gilded Cheese is anywhere nearby. He knows she’s gonna keep trying to get in, so he just waits. What he’s waiting for? Star Heart, and their very special ability that they use every single time cookies attempt to go for the barrier. From within the barrier, Star Heart can actually see him waiting for them since their tower is the highest point in the kingdom. That, and that point in the roof is the only clear spot in the barrier, everything else is stained red due to the permanent spice storm that surrounds the place.

And Silent Salt, who isn’t actually on the continent right now. During the Beast War, he spotted something leaving and decided to follow it on the hunch that if he didn’t, things would get a lot worse. Unfortunately, as the one he was following ended up being Longan Dragon, he isn’t going to be able to prevent him from starting shit.

Alrighty then, that’s that, thank you for your time and all of the lovely writing

-ephemeralcryptid

Now that was quite the read.

[saintsenara]

sirius black/nymphadora tonks

thank you very much for the asks, anons!

so - first things first - harry "unexamined bisexuality" potter being convinced there could be no other explanation for tonks' melancholy during half-blood prince than her being in love with sirius [despite the fact that she's a frontline soldier in the war that horrifying news is being reported about every single day; despite the fact that her aunt is one of the most prominent death eaters and she and her family are, therefore, in enormous danger] is one of the single funniest things he ever does.

[harry low-key thinking tonks is annoying, and that sirius could do better, is another.]

but - outside of harry's sordid little fantasies - i'm actually going with... potential winner, if some very careful wrangling with the characters is done.

it's quite striking in order of the phoenix that sirius and tonks barely interact with each other - tonks spends a lot of time with lupin [unsurprisingly] and kingsley, as well as with ginny and hermione, both of whom clearly adore her, but she and sirius never actually speak to one another outside of an operational [an order meeting, an order mission] context.

[which is why harry should have listened to ron, who is the only person to point out in half-blood prince that it makes no sense for harry and hermione to think that tonks' grief - as enormous as it is - might relate to sirius, who she barely knew.]

but there's a plausible explanation for the distance between sirius and tonks in canon which i think could get very interesting in the right hands...

which is that the tonks of order of the phoenix is... kind of unserious about the war. she's introduced as a bolshy, vibrant, loud, chatty, cocky young woman - holding her own and standing out among a group of people who are all much older and more battle-worn than she is. she takes up space and she shows off [her taking requests to transform at the dinner table! iconic!]. and - while she clearly recognises that the order's mission is dangerous and important - she also clearly thinks that being in a secret resistance society is... cool.

this is not - in any way - how the post-azkaban sirius - a man whose attitude towards being in the resistance is that the main thing worth doing for your cause is dying for it - understands things.

but it clearly is how the sirius of the first war thought.

the inherent tragedy of james and sirius' young adulthood is that they both clearly believed themselves invincible. there is a carelessness woven through their [very real] commitment to the anti-voldemort cause - in how james and lily behave when they're in hiding; in the secret keeper swap; in how, as sirius says, "the risk would've been what made it fun for james" - which directly contributes to james' death and sirius' earth-shattering grief.

i think there's something incredibly compelling which could be done with an exploration of this dynamic - sirius thinking that tonks doesn't take being in the order seriously as a manifestation of his own immeasurable guilt; tonks thinking that sirius' nihilism is just as dangerous as arrogance, thinking that, when the odds are against you as it is, you need to be cocky enough to believe that you can wiggle your way out of anything - particularly in the way it might start to chip through the layers of sorrow which surround sirius during order of the phoenix and help him begin - tentatively - towards forgiving himself for his role in james' death, finding his grief an easier burden to carry, and accepting that - while, yes, there are things worth dying for - there are things worth living for as well.

harry would be shaking though, i fear.