#and i will do it again

[ottersandfandoms]

Full Analysis/breakdown of the asmodous crystal exchange because the episode broke me and this is how I cope. Warning: long

So the first shot we have is Stolas sitting on his bed in apprehension, then Blitz jumps up on the balcony. Blitz starts the night off like any other, bringing out his bag of sex toys and just speaking in an unworried manner. Yet we have the sad music playing in the background that lets us know this is temporary. It’s NOT a normal night. Stolas knows this too and he’s just quietly watching.

Stolas finally speaks and he stutters at the beginning. This is really happening. He disregards all the other things Blitz brought and instead just asks for the book.

This is when Blitz first starts noticing something is up. We see a quick shot of his smile dropping. He was all worried about Stolas getting bored of him earlier and wanting the book back and now he began to actually think those fears are being proven true. Even if he doesn’t admit it, Blitz has a big fear of not being wanted and just pushed aside, like he has been for most of his life. 

So when Stolas admits he needs the book back Blitz panics. His fears are true. He begins to hurriedly speak and makes excuses. This book is his livelihood and the reason for his jobs so it makes sense why he is scared of losing it. He leans in and tries to initiate sex. It works every time with Stolas so why wouldn’t it work now? Stolas begins to grow sad. He does want to have sex with Blitz. But he knows that would be unfair so he gets up.

Blitz is terrified. He desperately begs Stolas for the book. Blitz is being put in a vulnerable situation and he doesn’t like it. His whole life could be destroyed if he can’t keep his business afloat. He wouldn’t be able to support himself and couldn’t support Loona. He would “do anything” to keep it.

But then Stolas shows him the crystal. Stolas presents it to him in a happy tone. He tries to be happy and hopeful even though he is clearly still very worried. Maybe everything will be ok. Maybe Blitz will reciprocate Stolas’s feelings and everything will be great.

Blitz thinks Stolas is joking. He doesn’t understand why Stolas would do this. Now his job is safe but his relationship with Stolas is not. His deepest fears are being proven once more. 

He’s not good enough.

He goes into this state of wanting to please.

When Blitz was a child, his dad clearly saw Blitz as the weakling compared with Fizz. And no matter how much Blitz tried to prove himself, it was never enough. “I can do better” is almost juvenile in its phrasing. A desperate plea and promise that might diffuse the situation. Blitz reverts back to his childlike self where he was always last choice and flung aside like he didn’t matter. Imagine how many times he said that exact sentence to his father.

Stolas explains. Stolas actually does a good job of saying what he wants. He is clear and to the point, emphasizing asking what Blitz wants. During Stolas’s speech, Blitz glances back and forth at the crystal, trying to make sense of what’s happening  and then at Stolas. Because he does want to stay. He likes Stolas. If he didn’t care, he would've taken the crystal and left, but he didn’t and chose to stay. Stolas finally just finishes his speech by confessing his feelings. He says them in a frantic way; he is putting himself out there but there is hope there too. 

Blitz thinks he’s joking. Of course he would be. Why could Stolas actually seriously care for him? How could Stolas care for him? The only possible explanation has to be that Stolas is joking. So he puts on a roleplay because he thinks it’s what Stolas wants. He refuses to accept there may be something more.

Stolas takes this as a mocking rejection. His hope has been squashed. Stolas is so used to being mocked that he immediately takes Blitz’s ‘roleplay’ as Blitz making fun of him. Stolas has been mocked by the people, the other Goatia, Stella. Blitz is just another one to add to the list.

He accepts the supposed rejection and walks away. Blitz now realizes he wasn’t joking. He is legitimately surprised that Stolas would want anything true with him. Blitz has this worldview of nobody truly wanting him; finding him useful, sure, but actually wanting him…that would be impossible. Stolas’s confession is a stark blow to that worldview and it makes sense why Blitz needs time to accept this.

This is where Stolas makes his mistake, he doesn’t give Blitz time to think through this. He takes Blitz’s confusion as rejection, not stopping to consider that Blitz is just as scared as he is. His hope is now totally gone. Both Stolas and Blitz are eerily similar in their fears. They both just want to be wanted but where Stolas shrinks away in sadness, Blitz lashes out.

And that's exactly what Blitz does now. And he doesn’t stop.

He doesn’t want to deal with his own hurt feelings so he instead blames it all on Stolas, to hide the fact that he may be blaming it on himself. The thing is, most of what Blitz says is true. Stolas repetitively called him a plaything and ‘little imp’ so it makes sense why Blitz doesn’t fully believe him. Blitz has always been the inferior one in his relationships. With Fizz, With Verosika, with Stolas, with countless demons. This has caused him this inferiority complex that he can’t escape. 

Blitz has tears in his eyes and he is truly breaking down. He has spent so long trying to convince himself that Stolas doesn’t care and now suddenly he does? He still hasn’t actually accepted that Stolas cares for him. He can’t accept that and that makes it all more painful. It has to be some lie or game and he is begging Stolas to stop playing. To stop complicating things because that will force Blitz to think about how he feels.

"Let's go!"

Blitz fully expects Stolas to yell back. he is so used to being in arguments where the other person will lash back as well. And Blitz almost wants this. He believes he deserves it.

But Stolas doesn't...

Instead he takes Blitz sceaming the wrong way. You see this heartbreaking scene of Stolas starting to cry. Stolas has spent his whole life being told to be quieter, be more controlled, less emotional. Him crying in front of someone, rather than alone really emphasizes the hurt he is feeling. And then there is of course the most heartbreaking line: “I didn’t realize you think so low of me”.

Everyone thinks low of Stolas. He is the “pathetic” Goatia prince who is constantly scoffed at and bullied. Blitz was his escape from all of that, but now he believes Blitz thinks the same as everyone else.

But Blitz DOESN’T think low of Stolas. He thinks low of himself. 

Blitz realizes he fucked up. He went too far and hurt Stolas.

He realizes that Stolas misinterpreted what he said because Blitz was never really talking about Stolas, he was talking about his own feelings. We can see Blitz actually try to reach out to Stolas. He needs to let Stolas know that he doesn’t think that. You can hear him start to say “I’m sorry-” but as he’s saying that Stolas portals him away. 

Blitz “What the fuck” perfectly encapsulates his feelings. He doesn’t understand what happened but he knows that he messed up. Blitz needs to let Stolas know that he actually cares about him and apologize for what he said and Stolas needs to understand that Blitz needs some time.

Blitz never once said that he doesn’t care, only that he doesn’t believe Stolas can.  

[ahneunjin]

watched in 2023:

OLD FASHION CUPCAKE (2022) dir. Kato Ayaka オールドファッションカップケーキ

[crabsnpersimmons]

inspired by @starriegalaxy and our conversations that go nowhere because she goes and does this to me:

she does this to me on the regular guys

(also to pair with Starrie's "At My LimitTM" post)

but where is Moon's hat, you might ask?

in the claws of the victor, of course

[mothorcus]

hehehhd,fd.sfhusdlhjhehehshfulhu

[kateroning]

Noo I rewatched the devil wears prada again 😭(😈)

[veryintricaterituals]

My toxic trait is that after the season 4 finale I was so upset, I didn't want Guillermo to be turned because, and I quote "this makes no sense, it is too sudden, he isn't ready, this is not how it is supposed to go for him, I want him to be a vampire but not like this" and then when season 5 Nandor said "He isn't ready and this is not how it is supposed to go for him" and fixed it, I was like...

[shopping-mall-of-stims]

Paul Matthews stimboard...

with cat stims!

requested by myself!

• • • | • • • | • • •

[yardikins]

I’ve actually made a ton of these text post memes so here’s part two, the quality is once again shit on a couple of them and im very sorry

Part one

[spidercookie18]

**David and Michael watching Saw**

David: wow, that's so toxic, im glad we're not like that *puts his arm around Michael*

Michael: take it off, or I'll bite it off

David:

David: I love it when you play hard to get

[herssian]

i'm not usually pestered for the media characters i gravitate to (villains, majorly) because people take a look at my text posts in between and realize that's the least of the issues at hand

[sugarbear2001]

Me getting ready to create a niche outfit reference in Dress to Impress that will get me ranked dead last. 

[twogeeseinatrenchcoat]

Children of Time Rant

Tldr: Read Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky, it's very good. Also sentient spiders have five names apparently, and there are personalities associated with said names.

Just read through Children of Time (by Adrian Tchaikovsky), started reading Children of Memory, and promptly realised it was the third book and not the second. So now I'm waiting for Children of Ruin (book 2) to arrive on Amazon. Did I start CoT about three days ago? Yes. But I need more spider content. Gimme the spider-Human interactions.

I love how we get five names for those spiders, and one is only used once, but I still remember it because we get five names and they are: Portia (always our PoV), Bianca (always Portia's friend), Fabian (male), Viola (important side character), and Osric. Osric is mentioned once and it is to tell us that he died.

But like I love how we get around 2000 years worth of spiders and still we have four names in use. Going into the characters (traits associated with names) in more depth: (oh and when I refer to anything relating to gender, the Portiids basically have "reverse sexism: cannibalism edition")

They're always powerful and always smart, the leaders of their society. Fabian is often very outspoken for a male, and he's smart, often a pioneer of technology, which is notable because---again---he's male. Bianca and Portia sometimes switch up, but they swap between scientist and warrior, and are close friends. Fabian is often one of their assistants. Viola is always a high-ranking spider, influential, but a side character. These are basically just their roles and not personalities because those do flip-flop.

Anyways, little rant over. Read the book(s). They're good. Or at least the first one, haven't read the second yet.

[adipocerre]

I drew Furina

There is a lot of empty space because this is meant to be the banner for the Furina Mains Discord server

[random-conspiracy]

A sudden scream is heard from the ship that sails in direction to the Tomb Colonies:

"IT WAS WOOOOOOO

ooooooooorthhhhh

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttt"

[shamebats]

It's not just a video essay it's a religious text. to me

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

WOE. FANART DUMP BE APON YE’

(WOUGH, I HAVE BEEN ART'D ON!!! And I choked on my coffee with Bean having to do it to them, so congrats kjfdkjsd (silly!!)

You made me so fluffy! And Cupcake and Pancetta so scrungly!!! (Probably get a tetanus shot after that bite!!!) AND PEP!!! He is so happy to be patted!!! And he looks so soft, I would pet him too!!!

Thank you so much for all this wonderful arts!!!)