#and i was searching for my fav gifs to add and stuff but i was too lazy to do it

[sugajimin]

30 REASONS TO LOVE YOONGI

03.03  1993 - 03.03  2023 

(cr: in the soop:jung-koook, season’s greeting/ memories 2020:namuspromised, sowoozoo/yet to come in busan:0613data, mot’s one dvd: joonie)

[hisvaginabones]

Uhhh tiny shitty pinned post until I get back home and I can try making a better one, um, KIDS BE GONE!!!

≛ Something wicked this way comes. ≛

My name is Tank, or Warhead if you want to be formal, I'm 18

I mainly use He/Him and Xe/Xim prns! ≛[ DONT use they/them or xey/xem for me ]≛

I'm a gay transsexual butch man, I'm happily taken by a wonderful bear

I'm a magnethead (punk metalhead) juggalo! I also greatly enjoy military aesthetics and apparel!

I censor with numbers and cyrillic characters interchangeably, idk why but I feel like I should clarify this

This is my adult stuff alt, my follows+likes come from my main (D******C******5)

≛[ INTERESTS, BOUNDARIES, K1/NK5 N F3T1/SH3S, TAGS & DNI UNDER CUT ]≛

≛ Interests :

✯ Tнe Siмs 2 (Sтr4иgэt0wn + GВA) ✯

✯ Tэаm Fфrтrэss 2 ✯

✯ иэrdy Prцdэs мцsт Diэ ✯

✯ Art, character creation and music ✯

✯ Queer vexillology and coining ✯

[ Fandoms are censored so this wont show up in the search function ]

[ This list will probably be updated ]

≛ Boundaries :

- I dont feel comfortable with women flirting with me. Interacting with some posts might also be iffy. [I'll probably add a tag or banner that makes it clear which are ok and not!]

- Don't force scenes, nicknames, petnames or k1/nk5 on me.

- No дnдl unless otherwise consented to/agreed on.

- Don't talk about 1ncэst with me, it doesn't matter if its faux, just dont, I'll straight up just block you.

- I'm homoflexible, not bisexual, please dont call me bisexual, it makes me uncomfortable.

[ This list will probably be updated ]

≛ Unfinished F3t/1sh + K1/nk list :

- Forcemasc and euphoria-play 𖦹

- FAT!!!!!!!!!! 𖦹

- Blood, weapons, fighting, injuries, ect. 𖦹𖤐

- Pэtplay, B/D/S/M, bodymods, roleplay, (classics) 𖦹

- Military/army 𖦹𖤐

- Powerplay, accents, cowboys, dдddу* and sir used as titles, 4ge-g4p, subdrop* 𖦹

- Masculinity (hyper, toxic & healthy) 𖦹

- Emasculation (shaming, size diff, power dynamics, ect.) 𖦹

- N0nc0n, CNC and intоx 𖦹𖤐

- Homophobia* 𖦹

- Str8-to-gay orientation play

- Juggalos, punks, metalheads 𖦹

- Dоmbrеаking* and brаt-tаming*

- Objects, tеrаtо and slashers 𖦹𖤐

- Gore, cаnniьаlism, horror, bоdyhorror, self-inflicted harm, ect. 𖦹𖤐

- дbu5e, gr00ming*, fоrcеfеm* 𖤐

≛ [short] Misc 𖤐 list :

- 💀* 𖦹

- Aliens 𖦹

- Werewolves 𖦹

- Guns, knives, axes, basically any and all weapons 𖦹

- Amputation and disabilities 𖦹

- Zombies

- Plushies

- P1ss

- Fцcked up housewife forcefem* (lobotomies, dehumanization, ect.)

≛ Nicknames/petnames :

𖦹 Mutt, weapon, soldier/cadet/private/recruit/trainee/newbie, loser/freak/pзrvert/sicкo, pup/puppy, boy/man, derogatory terms* 𖦹

Kid/kiddo*, son/sonny*, lad/laddie/mate, partner*/pardner, princess*, dog/hound, lamb*, piggie*

𖦹 Fav / Main

𖤐 Pаrа

* Only with my partner, close friends or if explicitly asked/consented

[ I am anti-c and pro-recovery for n0ncфn pаrаs ]

[ These lists will probably be updated ]

≛ Tag guide :

#ᛝ Tank Barks ᛝ : My posts

#ᛝ Karhuni ᛝ : Posts abt my boyfriend (Karhuni means "My Bear")

#ᛝ I have to water the shitpost ᛝ : Shitposts / unserious posts

#ᛝ The Real Deal ᛝ : Pictures n stuff (selfies, photography, ect.) [ wip name ]

≛ Quick/simple DNI :

F4uxcэst/1ncэsт/1cкy/whatever.

Pэd0/z00/prфsh1p/pr0f1c/ect.

дgepl4y/dd-lg/аь-dl/ect.

Pro/neu/complex contact n0ncфn pаrа.

Anti recovery nфnc0n pаrа.

Gay-to-het orientation play and detrans stuff.

Radqueer + radinclus + тrдnsid.

Engage in a lot of queer + system discourse.

Endo / tulpa / тrаnsplцrаl.

Believe in "narc abuse" or any other "[disorder] abuse".

TERFs, truscum, transmeds, anti-mogai, anti-nonhuman, anti-MAD, ect.

Dont believe in transandrophobia, "bæddэlisтs", transphobic trans ppl in general.

≛[ I will probably block you if you weird me out or cross my boundaries! This is a very very brief DNI list! ]≛

[hotti3-4-u]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Hiii! :D Post about my writings and boundaries!

Hi guys! Since im pretty new to tumble writing I thought I should do a post about my writings, boundries and other little things you should know! PLEASE READ THIS IF YOU ARE NEW!

Fandoms I write for / have seen:

Demon Slayer

Jujutsu Kaisen

Attack on titan

My Hero Academia

Blue lock

Blue Eyed Samurai

Chainsaw Man

Spy x family

Mortal Kombat

More to come!

My writtings/boundries:

I take requests! I will write both sfw/nsfw! I DO NOT WRITE NSFW FOR MINORS! For example: Anya. I think thats pretty obvious but we all know there are people like that out there. If, for example, your asking for a character like Yuji, I will always, ALWAYS, make the scenario where the character is older and the appropriate age! Yuji is way closer to 18 and its easier to age them up then a child like Anya. I probably won't take any requests for anime's I haven't seen unless I know a little about the character or I want to search about them. I mostly will write about a female reader or non-binary since their the easiest. I will try my best for a male reader but I may not always take those requests! I will always put warnings on my writings if there is anything sensitive/spoilers. I'll try my best with writting any ships thaat I don't specifically ship or like.

I have read the Manga for demon slayer and thats it, I did finish Attack on titan tho so I wont get any spoilers for that teehee! I usually just watch the anime's but im working on my manga collection! I currently just have the first 3 of chainsaw man and blue lock, SO NO SPOILERS FOR ANY OF THE ANIME'S I'VE LISTED PLEASE!

Finished Anime's/manga's so far:

Demon slayer

Attack On Titan

Feel free to let me know if theres anything else I should add/change about my posts. Please trust my writing process as my spelling is not always on point! NO HATE PLEASE. I will most likely do a post about my fav ships and characters I ship for readers. I'll always add changes to this post when I find stuff I think needs to be added here.

Feel free to ask questions please!

[maybe-solar-powered-calculator]

☼☼ SOLARs MAGNIFICENT CATALOGUING OF TAGs (!!!!) ☼☼ (all added to the bottom of this post for navigating convenience! like the letter labels in a dictionary!! alphabetical order not guaranteed.)

[ THIS IS HARD TO READ ON LIGHT MODE!! if you opened it in another tab n it showed up with a white background, go here instead! ]

act 1: the sun is a deadly laser (i am, unfortunately, not.) >>> SELF TAGS! stuff that i made! or something like that! .. scribblings on the walls (text posts) // the deranged ramblings and annotations within the confines of my prison. .. solar.png (my art??) // patterns akin to primitive cave drawings. .. hammers this to the top of my enclosure (pinned/info stuff) // warnings, hazard signs, beware of dog, etc

act 2: empty plastic organization bins (chaos abounds in the lair) >>> SORTING TAGS! only my soul knows how i choose the tags for each post. i would say my heart, but that things squishy. bleh .. q (queue) // pronounced "kiu". what is going on with english. do i even want to know?? .. cool graphics tag (nice pictures) // visuals of any sort that i particularly like!! gif shitposts? best art ive seen in my lifetime?? Here Goes .. the divine compels to Art (inspo) // subset of cool graphics that i wish to consume- ahem. to study under a microscope and learn from! .. rattling metal bars with a stick (stimboards or gifs) // trakatrakatraka heheheheee .. bag (bug tag) (insects and insect-adjacent friends) // snails is also buges to me. thank you for understanding .. HSFGDHJ (hsfgdhj) // cackling like the terrible gremlin that i am. no im not good at keysmashes, yes i always use this predetermined one .. see also: hall of fame (fav, the best ones) // i would frame these and put them in my wall if i had the guts to .. see also: fine china cabinet (hehehehe) // things that would go to hall of fame, but for Mysterious Reasons(tm) i am instead snatching to the Display of Shinies .. look at this later tag (remind me to do it..) // useful, interesting, and/or free stuff i want to come back to. sometimes just ideas .. distillate for gender extract (Gender,,,) // i am putting these in. the spirally overcomplicated glass tube thing and injecting the resulting compound into my bloodstream like some sort of wretched hrt .. gnawing the bars of my cage (WOOFWOOFBARKBARK /pos) // (I AM NOT BEING NORMAL ABOUT THIS) - you know how cats nibble the corner of things sometimes. yeah,, .. resonant frequency (something got in my eye ow gimme a sec) // (Squishy Heart is at it again. FEELINGS (ack)!! GET THE BROOM!) .. rules to live by (good advice) // Wise Words from mad prophets. we are on this website after all

act 3: rng (random name generator) >>> SUBJECT TAGS! i like giving silly names to some of them. .. wild metal on the dash (metal sonic!!) // statistically, i purposely go search for them most of the time. sometimes he does be on my dash tho...... .. benrey spotted (beny) // confirmed gamer sightings .. cherry flavored halls (lil hal!!) // id swear there was a black and red type but eh. thats the next closest thing i guess .. hermit crabs and/or traffic cones (hermitcraft/traffic) // yay silly block people doing Crimes!!!! .. tango of the tek variety (tangotek) // you know the one and only .. honkhonk (sky:cotl) // HONKHONKHONKHONK (hi) .. the bl(orb)os (portal) // sometimes a guy is just spherical in nature. sometimes theres many of them! (mostly the cores, but also general portal tag)

act 4: There Might Be More!! I Probably Forgor! I Will Add Them Later!

[createandconstruct]

can i ask about amarant coral? the monk in red himself~

Can you ask about Amarant Coral? *cracks fingers* Oh I insist that you do. Welcome to my Amarant Appreciation Post:

favorite thing about them: First off best thing about Amarant? His theme. The percussion and the guitar. It’s great and it captures him so well. People out here like “take Amarant out of the game he adds nothing.” EXCUSE ME? You remove the Amarant you remove the Amarant Theme my friend and that is something I do NOT vibe with. 

least favorite thing about them: I wanna know more about him. Now Amarant doesn’t need a backstory or history in the game. In a sense, he already has one that connects him to Zidane and explains his motives and actions and eventual arc. But my issue is, Square never gave him anything else. If you look at Ultimania there’s additional lore about other characters, like Steiner for instance. You learn Steiner was a war orphan who was saved by the Pluto Knights - explaining his devotion to them. Amarant though? Square was like “uh... yeah he was born....? And then he uh got famous...? Idk then he met Zidane. You figure it out.” Square. I hate you. 18 years from his birth until he became “well known”. WHAT WAS HE DOING. WHY’D HE BECOME A SECURITY GUARD. WHAT WAS ON HIS RESUME. TELL MEEEE. Like, okay, what the actual in-game canon gives us on Amarant is sort of enough. He’s a purposely written mysterious “cool-guy” character so we’re given scraps to make him unknown but come on. In the published after-game canon, like Ultimania, we could have been given a bit more. He says he doesn’t remember anything about his origins or parents, but why. Was he another victim of Gaia’s wars? Probably. Was he born on a battlefield? Fighting for his life, living without comrades, taking scraps whenever he could? Was he betrayed when he was young? Is he a supposed to be a version of Zidane had he not been adopted into Tantalus by Baku??? These are questions I deserve answers to, Square.

favorite line: “’I can't just walk away. It goes against my nature...’ You're a real simpleton. Forget it, guys. There's no stopping this fool." I love this. Amarant figures Zidane out pretty quickly after Ipsen’s Castle. Zidane is hardheaded and also an actor. He acts cool and pretends his reasons for doing things are loose but when he’s decided something it’s always for a reason. You don’t need a reason to help people, but Zidane has his reasons for helping Kuja and while Amarant doesn’t give two shits what they are he knows Zidane won’t be stopped because, despite everything, Zidane saved a loser like him. Also this line “Tell me! Why didn't you kill me!?" Because I quote it all the time and it makes myself laugh. Amarant is such a drama queen and Zidane knows it. Zidane’s like “dude... what is your damage, it’s 5 pm on Tuesday in Madain Sari. I ain’t getting blood on my gloves cause you’re having a temper tantrum.” And then Amarant runs away to have an existential crisis. He’s 26 but compared to Zidane, he’s the real teenager with angst.  

brOTP: I could talk about Zidane or Freya with Amarant but instead I’m gonna say the underrated dynamic of Amarant and Eiko (and also Vivi).  Amarant with the kids is truly the greatest gift given by his presence in the game. Amarant has never known true suffering until he became a designated legal guardian of a group of minors. It also kills me how he’s the one to volunteer to carry Eiko and Vivi up the Iifa tree. He looks at Zidane and is like “you have seriously been the ‘adult’ of this group???”

OTP: Gotta say the Freya and Amarant dynamic. I really enjoyed their unlikely friendship in the game but then the content. The fan content. The Freya x Amarant fans out there, you win. Ya got me. You captured me and I am now imprisoned by their banter and begruntled allies to lovers story. Even if they’re not romantic I love them together and really wish the game gave us more of them. But even Lani and Amarant together are valid, though I prefer them as butting head bros. Not much content for my girl Lani out there either, she deserves more.

nOTP: Nothing I can think of. I tend to like platonic pairings for Amarant. The dude needs friends because he can barely define the word friendship.

random headcanon: Before Zidane returns at the end of the game Amarant wanders around a bit, unsure of what to do. He doesn’t feel any place with the others in Alexandria, Burmecia, or Lindblum. I imagine he goes off on his own for a bit like before but this time he’s not after Zidane or a fight. Instead he’s got no particular destination. Yet he somehow always finds himself running into people just like him - or the old him - friendless lonely people who are looking for a fight. He doesn’t go out his way to find these folks he simply runs into them and decides he might as well knock some sense into them. He does however make it his business to go after any murmur of people hatching any ideas of going after the far off little village on the Lost Continent. The home of the genomes and black mages. They were so helpless, so weak that anyone who’d want to mess with them is pathetic in Amarant’s book. Until Zidane returns, no one has the chance to even look at the Black Mage Village the wrong way because in the shadows Amarant lurks, making damn well sure of that.

unpopular opinion: I kinda love that he’s just there for most of the game? While I agree he gets the short end of the stick in the same way as Freya, not receiving additional individual character spotlight (which could have very well been supplied through discoverable lore in the world/npcs or through sidequests) I never considered his “standing off to the side” as a detriment to his character. 

Many would probably agree that Amarant always felt like a bit of a parody of the loner character, or at least the stereotype of the loner character. Amarant is so easily paralleled with Squall and Cloud’s surface-level attitudes because his dialogue always felt like something to poke fun at. As the player we’re supposed to align with Zidane’s way of thinking and how he views Amarant. When Amarant loses to Zidane and pretty much grits his teeth and goes “KILL ME,” along with Zidane we’re supposed to kinda raise our brow at him and go “...really, dude?”

 Amarant’s a character introduced as an antagonist who has more in common with the power hungry villains of the game. Like many of the characters in FFIX, Amarant is in search of purpose in life, which he has never found, because he was always looking in the wrong places - in places of violence and power. Very toxic-masculinity of him. Amarant is “cool” on an aesthetic level but in reality he’s the polar opposite of cool in terms of what FFIX states about the need for others to be intertwined in your experiences so that you can live a full life. 

I sort of love that he’s like a grumpy pitball following a 16 year old and his friends around. Then he sits in the corner when they all meet up and discuss current events acting like he doesn’t care (not to mention he casually walks as everyone is running as fast as they can to escape Terra - made me laugh cry on my first playthrough) He is “just there” but that’s because he has no where else to be, no where else to go, he’s a man without a home. And until Zidane offers his hand, at the point where Amarant is most willing to take it at Ipsen’s Castle, he’s not truly a party member. He IS an outsider for almost the entire game but at Ipsen Castle he joins the party, becomes a comrade, and decides he’ll allow himself to change paths and start a life where he has friends and lives, as well as fights for them. Which is why after that moment, Amarant finally has a victory pose.

song i associate with them: I was scratching my head for so long trying to think of a song or track that had Amarant vibes until it hit me. Outskirt Stand by Tsukasa Tawada (from Pokemon Colosseum). Amarant is so chill, he’s not a bombastic guy, so he needs a theme that drops me in the rocky open desert of the Lost Continent like I’m just lumbering around looking for a monkey-tailed menace. Some other Amarant tunes:  Pyrite Town, The Under, Snagem Hideout tracks from Pokemon Colosseum. This post is just an elaborate call to action for everyone to listen to the Pokemon Colosseum soundtrack. Tsukasa Tawada is so great and he has a YouTube. Check him out.

favorite picture of them:

Yoshitaka Amano’s Salamander Coral. I love him. He had too much power. 

Also everything drawn by @crispy-ghee. Everything. I will think of this Comic forever until I die. Tattoo it on my flesh. The banter, the dynamics, the post-game content, the Zidane prince-consort outfit, the new Amarant outfit, the stuck-in-the-same-place relationship him and Freya have. Perfect. Go read it and consume Crisipy’s stuff. And also check them and their current art out, they just consistently get better and better. Here’s a first panel preview of my fav comic. Read it.

 @hannahlady​‘s Amarant art and their Freya/Amarant art is just ugh. *Chef’s Kiss* Here is another preview because you should go look at it.

Here’s a piece that deserves so much more love by @snackage. I LOVE how they drew Amarant. Here’s a little preview. It’s SO GOOD

Anyway TL;DR: Amarant is love and life and you’ll have to pull him from my little gremlin hands.

[itslostfocus]

Journey to Fluency - Steps I follow

Objective

The idea is to arrive to an advanced level in July 26th 2022.

To calculate this I searched how many hours it is needed to reach the fluency in Korean. Internet says that it is around 2500 hours seeing the kind of language it is (type 5 if I remember well). After some more research I realized that in general, I would spend like 3 hours every day in contact with Korean in an indirect or passive way, so I decided to extend that to 4 hours and mix both, active/direct and passive/indirect learning.

I do these 4 hours during the day not to overwhelm myself, also cause I have other stuff to do lol

Daily routine

1) 20 new words

I copy them from a list on an excel file to have them in a table form with the meaning and examples.

Then I make flashcards with their meanings and a picture (I'm a visual learner). I use quizlet but use any flashcards system you want. The important is to make them and review them right away and any time you want. In my case I play basically all the modes quizlet has.

After that, you will see which words are the hardest for your mind to stick with. Then write then down with an example from a dictionary to give it a context and make the correlation between the word and the meaning easier. I use the method explained by Lindie Botes here and has worked so well! Aka red for Korean, blue for English and black for the examples (I write these examples on the excel).

2) Grammar point

I study 1 grammar point per year. Until now I'm reviewing what I have already learned cause grammar is the hardest thing for me to remember and I always tried to hurry things up to "learn more" and all I did was read but not actually learn. Don't make the same mistake! Allow yourself to take your time to learn well

To study better I have made a flashcards deck when I write the name of the grammatical structure and what it's used for. Also I have made like a table where I write examples, the usage, the sequence, how it changes if the previous word ends in a vowel or consonant etc.

3) Hanja (한자)

After like a week or so into the routine I realized that my brain works better learning words individually and then making sentences and phrases from them, instead of learning full sentences. So to use that, I decided to add hanja as a way to help me to learn vocabulary better since in that way I can connect and relate words based on their origin. It's pretty cool and til now it hasn't been something too complicated for me, it just requires practice.

I do 3 hanja characters per day using the lessons from How To Study Korean here and take notes (there are books, apps, videos based but I find this way better for me). Then make flashcards and review them, and I write them down on an excel file as it is a table so I can have a record of everything and an easier way to review.

I personally recommend to start with hanja once you are used to read hangul and have a good base of basic vocabulary so it won't be confusing. But well you decide according to your situation.

(Plus if you want to learn Japanese, as I do, it will be super useful cause it's the same -except for some points- than kanji so. And well of course really helpful if you want to learn Chinese since these are chinese characters)

4) Listen / Read / Watch

This is basically all the passive/indirect way of learning. Add playing games if you want lol.

I don't take notes of anything I see in here cause I don't want to set the mindset of "oh I need to be aware of all words to later search on naver and make flashcards". These are things I do to make my ears and brain get used to the sound of the language and be able to understand people when they speak, and also to have fun. Disconnect your learning thoughts and just enjoy what's happening, sooner or later you will see how you understand stuff just by listening and seeing.

Here I...

Listen to songs and read the lyrics.

Watch videos on youtube, variety shows, etc with korean subtitles, or without subtitles if it's something that I have already watched before.

Read webtoons or social media posts or anything you find that has Korean written.

5) Learning focused apps

The goal of the app, in my opinion, is to practice making sentences and get used to the different structures without reading them from a book or a lesson format. Also if it has a streak format it works to establish a routine.

I used lingodeer before and now I'm using duolingo. There are many more, so choose your fav ^^

I don't take notes here either for the same reason explained before.

6) Daily posts on social media

This is a way to not only keep a record of the journey, but also to interact with other learners and native speakers and to force yourself to continue the routine since you have to leave a record of it.

So don't stress yourself about making pretty notes, what matters is for to learn and proudly show how well you are doing 💜

(Optional) 10 daily phrases / sentences

When I started the journey I had this instead of the hanja, but how I explained on that point my brain simply doesn't learn from phrases, it needs to know the meaning of each word (or most of them) before forming or understanding sentences. If I don't know all the words but some of them I can already understand by context, but I need to know words. If the sentence only has words I don't know, my brain simply ignores it, even if I can read what it means.

I decided to change it cause it became really hard after some days and it was starting to make the whole routine stressing just for that.

I will see if I do it again in a future, but for now it's not something I consider lol.

The most important things

Remember to rest well, eat well, sleep well. Learning is easier like this. If you want to take a break or take naps, do it. Your brain needs energy to work, more to learn, so take care of it.

Copy this routine or make your own adding or taking things out. Do what works the best for you and spend the time you want and can on it. If you can do it for hours, great for you, if you can do it for 5 mins, great for you, all is progress. The important is to establish a routine that is easy to follow.

Enjoy every day of the journey!

Sooooooo that's all! I hope this can be helpful to anyone, for Korean or for any other language.

Happy learning 여러분! ^^

[flowerslightning]

(Part 2) Cloud Strife and his Mental Illness

a.k.a Psychiatric Disorder

| 1. Memory | ⇦ Click if u havent read it yet

2. Hallucinations, Illusions and Delusions

Since these three things relate well with Cloud's troubled memories, I'll be talking about them first before jumping to his Confused Personality

This post will bore u a bit or maybe a lot 😂 it depends. If ure interested with psychiatric stuff, u'll find this enjoyable as much as i do

Disclaimer : I'm 21 and still a tiny meany student. During my intern at Psychiatric Department, I learned and witnessed psychiatric problems from real life patients. And since Cloud (my fav FF character) has psychiatric issues, I'll be sharing some of my knowledge and interpretation of Cloud's character. Im not diagnosing him, rather i'm giving my own opinion about his status

@nibelheiim created a post about dissociation, she explained about hallucination, PTSD and more. Come and check her out! Her words were more direct and easier to understand. She explained about Psychological matter and she's a real psychology student too!

While my explanation will be more focusing on Psychiatric Topic and words used will be more complicated (with grammar errors). My facts will be based on ICD 10 and DSM-IV

A lot of people were confused with these three terms - Hallucination Illusion Delusion - These terms associated with abnormalities of perception. It is important to understand that this abnormality holds two keys; ● 1. Perception is the process of becoming aware of what is presented through the sense organs. ● 2. Imagery is an experience originating within the mind that usually lacks the sense of reality that is part of perception.

Abnormalities of perceptions have 4 theme, but I'll be focusing on two major types that relate with Cloud: (i) Hallucinations ; (ii) Illusions. Some cases, perception can be normal in intensity and quality but has a changed meaning for the person who experiences it - it is called as Delusional Perception. It is not an abnormal of perceptions, rather it is a disorder of a person's thinking.

Try guessing, how many from these terms does Cloud has?

1. Hallucinations

- A perception experienced in the absence of external stimulus to the corresponding sense organ. Eg - patient hears a voice when no one is speaking within a hearing distance or patient sees something approaching him when visually no one is there. There are 2 qualities to determine a hallucination: ●it is experienced as a true perception●it seems to come from outside of the head●

The above gif, where Sephiroth suddenly appear again before Cloud's eyes even able to touch Aerith's shoulder, it illustrate perfectly the 'Visual Hallucination'. No one can see Sephiroth, other than Cloud himself.

Cloud [Remake] kinda had anxiety when he stared at the fire and later he saw Sephiroth surrounded with flames, then poof, that silver guy disappeared along with the images of fire. He said he was hallucinating stuff after the first bombing mission. Idk how Sephiroth could create fake images of fire around him, either Cloud was really hallucinating or it was really Sephiroth that came to see him. But, this is what we call as 'Visual and Auditory Hallucinations'. Cloud SAW Sephiroth and HEARD him talking when no one else did. I can also add in 'Tactile Hallucination' because he probably felt the burning sensation on his skin from the flame around him that caused him to feel hot and sweating, or probably it was his anxiety that caused him sweating upon meeting Sephiroth with the flashback of his burning hometown

Hallucinations can occur in all sensory modalities; visual, olfactory, auditory etc. In the Remake, the Whispers could only be seen by certain people. To those who couldnt see it, they would be puzzled what was happening to u, and would've thought that u were hallucinating something, like in the case of Aerith.

In Cloud's case, perhaps Cloud [In OG] had auditory hallucination due to his severe case of Mako Addiction. But then, that wasnt exactly a hallucination though, cuz the thing he said "'Coming.. They're coming" was actually true. A monster fell from the sky.

Other 'hallucinations' that Cloud had was the images of Sephiroth that appeared in certain headache. Cloud may claimed it was his hallucinations, but i've read it somewhere that says it was really Sephiroth appeared before his eyes. Sephiroth was messing with Cloud's mind, trying to break his mental in order to control him. However, IF IT WASNT SEPHIROTH that came, Cloud's 'hallucination' would be known as a mental disorder that may lead to severe case - eg Schizophrenia.

2. Illusions

An illusion is a misperception of an external stimulus. It often occur in several circumstances: (i)level of sensory stimulation reduced (ii)attention is not focused on the sensory modality (iii)level of consciousness reduced (iv)being in a state of intense emotion- fear.

Does Cloud has it? Urm, maybe? Well, it can be proven when he saw his 'noisy neighbour next door' as Sephiroth. As stated above, illusions occur in 4 conditions, and Cloud was in number (i) and (iv). When Tifa yelled him to stop, Cloud came back to reality and got really confused when the 'Sephiroth' that attacked him was actually a sick guy. We can also add in 'Hallucinations of Deep sensation' in this scenario bcause Cloud experienced the feelings of being pushed down by 'Sephiroth'.

However, we all know that 'Sephiroth' was real at that moment. For Cloud, he thought it was an illusion, but for us the audience, it was a real thing.

If u want a better explanation and example, try watching Joker the movie. The main theme of the movie was 'mental illness'. There are lots of scenes that shows different type of hallucinations, illusions and also personality disorder.

3. Delusions

a.k.a fixed false belief. A belief that is held firmly despite evidence contrary. A delusion is nearly always a false belief but not always so. There are around 11 types of delusions according to the book. Half of it may suggest Shcizophrenia. Schizophrenia is certainly not in Cloud's case. I've studied one by one the type of delusions and none of them match with Cloud FF7.

I will surely give anyone a good punch in the face if they dare to say Cloud suffers from Schizophrenia. I've met with bunch of patients having it, and the way they see this world is totally different from us.

In some other cases, eg a spiritualist convince a person to believe in his spiritualism and he present with contrary evidence to the non-believer. This non-delusional belief is called 'overvalued ideas'

Overvalued ideas is an isolated , preoccupying and strongly held belief that dominates a person's life and may affect his action. One of the easiest example i can come up with; a friend who had skin cancer may be convinced to her roomate that cancer is contagious, and her roomate suspects any abnormal skin conditions she has is an evidence to show she too, may have developed the same cancer, when the truth is, she's just completely fine.

It is very hard to distinguish between a delusion and overvalued ideas.

I had a patient, he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. He looked like an ordinary man, but when he talked, it sounded so unreal. He said he had jumped off from 10th floor several times and didnt get a scratch from it. He believed he wont die bcause he had gained super power. He even convinced me to try his 'so-called-secret technique- on how to survive a jump. By doing that often, I will have a superpower like him - a strong physical body. Up until now, I still dont know if he was being deluded with his thought or he was overvalued his idea, bcause from his psychiatric record, he did try to jump off from the second floor of his apartment's balcony a few times.

So, Im not really sure of myself did Cloud [FF7] really had delusion or not. Well, he believed he made it to SOLDIER bcause he had mako eyes. But was it something we called as delusion or was he just overvaluing his idea? He didnt know the truth and his memory messed up. No one could explain to him why he had Mako eyes, except Prof Hojo and Zack who knew the truth

Besides, after Tifa helped with his memory, Cloud accepted the fact he wasnt in SOLDIER. For patient who deluded with their own thoughts, they hardly could believe what people told him.

However, surely Cloud [in AC] had delusions of guilt and worthlessness due to the fact that he believed he had done something shameful and sinful - the main trigger of this theme was, he got infected with Geostigma while he was searching a cure for Denzel. Cloud got depressed with the loss of Aerith and the memory of Zack death had returned, but I think he was recovering very well in that two years time skip. The moment he got Geostigma, he became deluded he was worthless and his depression kicked in again.

Hallucinations and Illusions are normal to be experienced by healthy people, but it wont be if u encounter too many hallucinations & illusions in 2 weeks time. Believe it or not, a lot of people around us are actually mentally ill bcause some of them may have excessive certain delusions, such as delusions of jealousy, grandiose delusions, nihilistic, paranoid etc. Although 'it is consider as normal' in a few circumstance, a few cases need to refer to psychologist and in severer cases, must refer to psychiatrist. If u follow Dr Phil's show, u'll see a bunch of patients have different kind of crazy delusions.

Overall from my statement above, I would conclude that since Sephiroth always appear before Cloud's eyes, this resulting Cloud to think he has both Hallucination and Illusion, when in fact, he's just a normal guy with amnesia and personality confusion. Cloud doesnt have Delusion like how many fans said, neither he has an overvalued idea, even with the evidence of Mako eyes supporting his reasoning + he's a great fighter. I will have to say that perhaps it is his brain defence mechanism that tricks his mind to believe he is a Soldier.

If only Sephiroth stop disturbing Cloud's life, it will be a lot faster to fix Cloud. Tifa alone will be the main strength to get Cloud back to normal. Ah, but this is the beauty of the game. Life wont be exciting without the presence of a beautiful villain and a love triangle (Tifa-Cloud-Sephiroth). Lol Technically I see them trying to fight for Cloud's mental health. Tifa wants to help Cloud with his mental status while Sephiroth is trying to destroy it. Lolololol

My crack theory : Sephiroth says he's going to take Cloud's most precious thing, and he ends up choosing to kill Aerith, but ofc there's another reason why Aerith got killed. But if Sephiroth kills Tifa first, I think he can take over Cloud's mind faster, because then, no one will be holding Cloud back. Honestly no one can ever will, not even Aerith. So does that mean Sephiroth doesnt know about Cloud's deepest secret or is Cloud just good at hiding his weakness?

I WILL UPDATE THE NEXT POST LATER because I've reached tumblr limit images agaiiin. The next part will be focusing about his personality - Personality Disorder

If there is any part that I've mistaken, pls correct me. I'm sorry for my english. English is not my native language, so there are plenty of grammar errors.

[tanithrea]

Sunday 6VIXXs

Sitting sipping on a hot chocolate (instant, not the melt the choc and add all extras that becomes an epic journey of self discovery type) and watching vixx is a wonderful way to spend the 3pm break time.

while you enjoy an actual day not at work and an afternoon where you can’t phone or fix things cause companies are closed, there is no mail, and you have resigned yourself to the fact you may or may not achieve any domestic chores, sort your life out, order messages to come so you have lunches all next week, call your Gran cause you have been a neglectful grand-daughter, order xmas pressies cause doing any xmas shopping in December is just a no when you work in retail...etc.

And a great number of things have taken up my mind space this week. I have had moments of almost anxiety/panic and been able to push them back down.

Then there have been highs of going to see Dylan Moran (Irish comedian absolutely hilarious, watch his dvds or the tv show Black Books), going on a staff night out that was more fun than expected and even though my voice was not at its best when I was enlisted to karaoke the others are all still impressed.

I have been contemplating things I see on my tumblr feed and some things that stick out today:

1. I have no idea who they are, edawn & Hyuna I think, don’t know their groups or history or anything but reading that a company fired two idols for simply admitting they were dating is a reprehensible action and I would hope a legally wrong one so the couple can sue. Also cause they found out from the internet. It is ridiculous to punish their careers for this and although I get that the groups are staying quiet about it all out of fear of their own jobs I personally would have a hard time if I didn’t speak out to support my colleague in this time.

As for the toxic ‘fans’ (don’t care what country you are from) who petitioned to fire them, who send hateful stuff to them and for the insane claim that their dating incurred “financial and emotional harm” to them you need a hard slap and a reality check.

You are never going to date your fav idol. He isn’t going to see you in a crowd of 5000 and go wow that’s the one for me. You are not and will never be in a relationship with them. They are people and when not performing or in public they have friends, family, history, ex’s, issues, outbursts and they poop just like everyone else.

99.99% of us won’t even see our fav idols live let alone touch or interact with them and if I buy an album or support my bias - I support him for who he is and I want him to be happy and if that becomes him married or having kids - then I will support that too. He isn’t lying to me by singing these lyrics and then falling for someone, you don’t own idols. They are looking for their lobster just as much as any of us. They have suffered hardships, possibly gone through traumas and could have any number of scary life experiences, why would you want to be remembered for being in that catagory? You don’t and shouldn’t have the power to crush them at a whim of adolescent bunny boiler jealousy. Get over it and see the real humans they are. Also if you think it’s ok to send horrible msgs about death threats and suicide to idols not only are you a sorry human being you need help. Seek professionals.

2. I have been watching kdramas and just finished Bride Of The Water God. It was good although it stumbled in bits and pacing was off there were some really good 😱💔😭😍moments. Also the guys in it were so hot! Lol

im now back into catching up on Hongbin in witch’s love although I know what the ending is going to bring. Wishing he got to really show his ever increasing talents more. Can’t wait to see all the VIXX drama performances like Beans and N have so far in the coming months.

Actor wise I am loving Park Seo-Joon, Woo Do-Hwan, Park Hyungsik, Nam Joo-Hyuk, Ahn Jae-Hyun, Song Seung-Heon, Seo Kang-Joon, Lim Ju-Hwan, all of the Hwarang cast really, Lee Jonghyun and of course all the acting ViXX memebers!

On my list to watch ASAP is - W, Mad Dog, Tempted, Save Me, What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim, Are You Human Too?, Manhole, Triangle, Tunnel, Lovely Horribly, Sassy Go Go, Goblin, Photo People, Spellbound, The Legend of The Blue Sea, The Starry Night The Starry Sea, Scarlet Heart, Protect The Boss....a ton more. Hyuks Chasing, and new upcoming project. Catch up on Familiar Wife and hope that someone uploads the TV showing of Mata Hari with Leo.

Saw trailer for Bleach today so adding that to list, switched, Solomon’s perjury, mr sunshine, man to man, a man called god and a few others.

Shows I reccomend - Wednesday 3:30pm, Orange Marmalade, Moorim School, Tunnel, Bride Of The Water God, Blood, Black, Forgotten, We Got Married (Lee Jonghyun), Newlywed Diary s1, Spy, Hwarang, My Only Love Song, Strong Woman Bong Soon

In non kdrama inspired stuff - recently saw Searching... and it was brill. Highly reccomend and genius filming idea. Pulled off the way it should be and others failed to do. The Spy Who Dumped Me was disappointing and didn’t gel well despite the few hilarious scenes in the film. The Happy Gang Murders- ok but wait for it on sky movies or Netflix. Looking forward to seeing Crazy Rich Asians on Tuesday after work!

3. Although I still haven’t found another group I could say ‘I love them’ cause I’m hard set VIXX, the last few weeks I have opened to a few guys and groups through friends and exposure.

I added Kim Jaejoong to my list pretty quickly lol then Lee Jonghyun, Park Hyungsik and I would say mainly cause my kpop guro mate and guide Jackie I have seen a lot of Monsta X and I didn’t really feel a link to any of them but having seen the emotional side of Wonho he would be the one I would add to the list, just not quite there yet but almost.

I have listened to a lot more of their music, and I feel like I’m open to hearing others yet I recoil into vixx as soon as I see posters and gifs about other bands claiming they are record breaking at whatever chart/award/audience numbers/hair dying/stripping on stage...etc whatever statistics it is cause I get that defensive pang for my boys.

So I totally understand the passions folks have for their group/s. I have it too.

Just listen to the other instincts as well that say that other group worked hard too, each should get a share of the limelight and they each have their own struggles they went through to get there. Try to ignore the impulse to roam stomping around the internet screaming your band/bias is the only talented super human in the universe while eating everyone else’s as snacks. But do share, get excited, encourage new listeners/fans, support and go bonkers happy. 👍🏻😉

4. Everything is being turned into musicals. While I LOVE a good musical not every single topic in the world is suited to it. Lol also in saying that I’m super happy Leo has another musical casting as Death character Tod in Das Elisabeth. He loves the stage and singing so it’s just pure joy for him. Also Ken announcing he has a run as Man In The Iron Mask king and again seriously hoping some starlights get some clips to share up on YouTube cause we/I are desperate to see these. Lol my almost stroke after regaining consciousness seeing leo as death poster was seeing what looks like Park Hyungsik in the same role. Meaning two of my list working together and in rehearsals together...⚰️😍need a pic of that and some official confirmations what I’m seeing in the pic is truly who I think it is!

I will now sort some dinner, maybe binge some kdrama, have a shower and go to bed as I totally enjoy my totally wasteful Sunday which at this point would only be made better by being snuggled up to bias/nice guy watching a movie/show with the special hot chocolate I mentioned at the start. I hope you all have a restful night, if you are working today then when your day off comes I hope it’s perfect and relaxing. 👍🏻😉💖🌟