#and i was like. do i buy a new headset then? but i dont want to bc the headphones r still great

[scalpelsister]

getting a new mic :)

[imflyingfish]

Going through another phase of wanting to buy a record player verses being unsure if i should

[moonrisecoeur]

compliance (how to brainwash your boyfriend) — leon kennedy

author’s note: this was written with re4r!leon in mind bc that’s my boyfriend! angel said so!! i have… so many hypno ideas, some considerably more palatable and some that are Much Worse, so pls let me know if you want more! also this is based off of an audio i listened to once by everdistant-utopia on reddit! the headset concept is kind of (extremely) goofy but i was into it idk. again, i'm aware that mind control isn't real and this is a silly ass concept. i had fun doing it anyway. no leons were hurt in the making of this fic. sorry for not posting it sooner even tho it was done i was extremely embarrassed lol. pls ignore any typos. love you!! thank u!!

wc: 5k

content: sub!leon x fem!reader, afab reader, oral reader receiving, orgasm control, mention of feet for like two seconds

warning: this is dark content. please do not read if the following topics are sensitive to you: noncon, hypnosis, mind control. i dont endorse or encourage this type of behavior irl, its just a fantasy!

—

as you walk down the street, you walk by a flier that’s sitting on the sidewalk. you don’t stop to read it, but one word caught your eye. mind control. it was probably something stupid, something completely made up by some lunatic who thinks mind control is real. mind control is maybe, technically real, in the ‘just relax and close your eyes, breathe deeply and let yourself be at peace’ kind of way. definitely not the ‘put on this headset and let me rewire your brain to make you my pet’ kind of way.

but… would it really hurt to look at the flier? you turn around to see it’s still there, and, against all your better judgment, you decide to walk up to it and pick it up.

it’s dirty, wet because of the rain from last night. even still, you can read the description of the advertised product clearly, along with some more info like a website and contact info for the designers. you take a brief moment to wonder who in the hell comes up with that stuff.

introducing you to the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! perfect for all of your mind control needs! simply place the device over the subjected head and choose what you’d like to do with them. need an obedient housewife? in search of a new pet? want them to be madly in love and obsessed with you? all of that and more is possible with the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! visit our website and order the headset today!

you blink. this is insane. who would do this? who would make this? why would anyone want to make someone do any of this against their will? you feel sick to your stomach as you crumple up the flier and toss it in the nearest trash can.

because that’s… that’s not consensual. that’s wrong in every possible way. unless they gave consent to be, what, turned into an ‘obedient housewife’? that’s really what it said? there’s just no way that’s right. how is that legal to sell? what even was that flier doing?

this feels like the kind of thing that would be sold on the black market, not openly advertised to people on the street. what if some lunatic saw it and just started brainwashing people? no one could stop them, it’s not exactly a crime in and of itself, and any crimes committed would be a little difficult to report if the ‘subject’ was too mindless to notice or to say anything.

whatever. you threw the flier away, you did your job as a good samaritan by tossing it so someone much much worse than you wouldn’t get a chance to look at it, and thus, you can forget all about the headset. pretend you never saw the flier or knew it existed and carry on with your life.

except, you can’t really. it permeates your thoughts, seeps inside of your subconscious until you begin to hypothesize that the headset wasn’t the real hypnosis, it was seeing that flier. you know you must be delusional. it’s not real, you’re not really mind controlled from just reading the flier, but… would it really hurt it buy it? you had the money for it and it’s not too expensive at all.

you hate yourself for it but you look on the website, just as hypnotic as the flier was, and you see multiple variations of the headset. some more suited towards different outcomes for ‘subjects’ and some just different stylistically.

you find the one you were looking at earlier. the ultra brainwasher 3000. it’s a stupid name, you’re aware. it just doesn’t really matter because who’s gonna know that you own this? you’ll keep it, maybe try it out on yourself to see what it’s like. you won’t do anything crazy, maybe like, hypnotize yourself to not be able to sit down until all your household chores are done, just for the day. the ultra brainwasher 3000 claims to have this functionality, and you’re… more or less, curious.

you order it and spend two weeks in absolute hell, making sure your boyfriend is never home alone when the package could arrive. you’re not worried he’d open it and see the device. he doesn’t look through your stuff, but the packing sticker ‘brainmelting industrial company’ would…. catch his eye for sure. try explaining that to your boyfriend, especially because even if you’re a good liar, you’re not to leon.

but, you get it, and it’s perfect because leon isn’t home right now, and you get to play with your new toy for a little bit. the box is smaller than you expected, only including the headset, a charging cord, and a set of instructions.

as you’re reading, the thought only just now hits you. it’s surprising that it’s taken you this long to have this idea, given how it would be someone else’s first instinct.

“should i…” you murmur to yourself, looking around nervously to see if anyone is in earshot, “… should i use this on leon..?”

i don’t know, should you use a mind control headset on your poor boyfriend that was just sent on a mission to save the fucking president’s daughter? maybe not.

you don’t know how it took you this long to come up with the concept. i mean, the flier did mention making someone your obedient housewife, but… they never said that someone had to be a girl…

it’s gross or actually more disgusting, honestly, how excited you get at the prospect of doing this to leon, but you decide that yeah, fuck it, you might as well brainwash your boyfriend. truthfully, what are the consequences? besides… ruining your relationship, betraying his trust, destroying him as a person… eh, it’s only temporary, right? there’s ways to make it only temporary.. and there’s no way he’d remember..

you fiddle with it, curious of all the different things you could do to him. the headset didn’t have presets, you could make up literally anything you wanted him to believe. you could make him the obedient housewife, but you could also make him a servant, maybe even dress him up all pretty as a maid. you could make sure of his loyalty and commitment, make him be so in love with you that even the thought of being with another woman makes him physically ill.

he gets home later that night, worn down and tired and exhausted in every possible way. and you know you’re going to have to put on your best acting skills. you’re not sure if you’re ready to do this, but you’re gonna have to be, so you press a sweet kiss to his lips, one he lingers on for just a moment too long. his lips chase after yours as his eyes open back up slowly, looking at you through his pretty lashes, an eyebrow raised, “what?”

you can’t help but adore him, his bluntness and gruff attitude, yet how soft he touches your waist as he pulls you closer. leon is nothing if not gentle and sweet, and you love that about him, “nothing, i just… i just wanted to look at you,” you say, and it reminds you just how easy leon is. just a couple of words and his eyes get a little glassy, his heart leaping out of his chest just a bit.

it sometimes helps that your boyfriend has been through every form of hell since that day in raccoon city, so sometimes just sweet words and little gestures get a bigger reaction than you’d expect. he’s traumatized and broken down, so the love you give him matters so much more.

in short, he’s easy. he gives in quickly and doesn’t like to fight, not with you. gives you everything you want, doesn’t protest, doesn’t ask for much besides your attention and love.

“you always stare at me,” he says awkwardly. god he’s so not charming that it makes him effortlessly likable.

that’s what’s so sucky about the idea of hypnosis. do you lose the person he used to be? sure, a mindless househusband would be great, helplessly obedient and passive and hardworking, but does this override his actual personality? that’s a bit too scary.

you make an effort to soak in these parts of his personality, enjoying every inch of his pretty little mind. you decide that no matter what you do to him, you can’t ruin him completely. you’d miss his heart, rough and guarded but nonetheless yours.

“i wanna try something,” you murmur to him, your heart pounding a little more than it should, “do you trust me?”

“of course i do,” he says. your heart almost aches, he trusts you so implicitly.

“close your eyes,” you say, and he complies easily.

you step away to grab the headset, and he’s so sweet and good that he doesn’t even peek. you take a deep breath, and commit to it.

you place it on his head, and he grumbles, but doesn’t object. poor thing. doesn’t even realize what’s happening to him.

—

the setting on the headset that you chose wasn’t anything flashy but it was labeled ‘semi-permanent’ and it stated that the subject would not remember anything from the moment of hypnosis to the moment they wake up next. so, all and all, even if you felt horrible, the damage wouldn’t be permanent, and leon wouldn’t even remember what happened.

truthfully, it felt like nothing could go wrong. it wouldn’t alter him too much, just… make him helplessly obedient for a couple hours. you could turn up the intensity if you wanted to, if it wasn’t quite enough to satisfy your curiosity.

you decide that it’s now or never, especially since being lost in your head while your boyfriend is cluelessly wearing what looks like a vr headset is kind of… odd.

you start the application, waiting for it to begin on his end.

“what are you up to?” he asks innocently, probably still not seeing anything while it loads. the question sounds like an accusation, but it’s really not. leon genuinely just wants to know what’s going on. it’s hard not to, but you don’t answer.

you notice the exact moment that it starts because grunts out of nowhere and his whole body tenses, and he clutches onto the fabric of the couch cushions, using that sense as a way to ground himself during an overload of audio and visual stimulation.

you reach to grab his hand, and his grasps yours tightly, desperately, as if physically pleading with you to make it stop.

you whisper to him, “shhh, nice and easy,” you’re not even sure if he can hear you, but you still feel the need to speak. you’re not sure if it’s your voice or your touch but he relaxes just slightly, his breath raggedy and tense. he’s trying like hell to keep himself together, but it’s so overwhelming that it’s hard for him to think, “hey… it’s okay. you’re okay, just… let it happen.”

a pathetic little whimper escapes his throat as his body goes slack, jaw hanging open and arms hanging limply by his sides, “wha… why?” his voice sounds small, weak, and if you weren’t so cruel, you’d immediately take it all back and apologize and just face the consequences.

but you’re too far deep to back out now, even if leon’s pitiful demeanor is almost swaying you to stop, you know you can’t. not now.

“i… i thought you…” he whines, body tensing and spasming as he tries to put some form of coherent thought together, “wha… why..?” he whimpers again, pathetically broken down in just a matter of minutes.

you sit there with him, holding his hand, waiting for the process to be done, and once it is, you take the headset off.

he seems agitated, but doesn’t seem to know what at. his muscles are tense, but he doesn’t make any sudden movements.

“hey,” you mutter gently, and he almost flinches at the sound, looking at you with those wide deer eyes again, scared. you reach out to touch his face, fingers caressing his cheek.

the cogs in his brain turn as he processes what’s happening, and the agitation seems to evaporate and become replaced by a sense of calm and relaxation. he looks into your eyes, and it seems like he’s deciding something.

“leon?”

“yes? how… can i serve you?” he asks, jaw dropping at his own words. he’s so stunned at what he’s saying and how he’s acting yet he can’t help it.

“…address me as… ma’am,” you say, and he shivers, eyes closing tensely as he tries to figure out what the hell is going on, “and go get me something. how about… a cup of coffee? yeah, let’s start there.”

it makes sense that he’s fading in and out, the programming would probably need more time to settle in before it was done and his personality obviously wouldn’t just disappear, but it was still a little bit heartbreaking to watch him fight the voice in his head that is desperate to obey you.

as he disappears into the kitchen, you sit where he was sitting on the couch to take a moment to think it all over.

leon has never been the most… dominant man. he has his moments of aggression and tension that turn into a roughness that his soul seems to often carry, but it’s never controlling. he’s not demanding, he asks nothing of you besides gracing him with your presence.

but due to his past, submission also doesn’t come easy to him. he likes to think he would lean more sub, just because he’s so malleable to your will, so easy to convince. anything you want is yours, and if you want his dignity laid out in the palm of your hand, then it’s yours to keep for eternity. he just struggles to fully give up control, especially since you know he’s not really had much of that in his life.

you kept his personality intact for the most part, but… he just seems so different. he responds pretty much the same, talks the same, acts the same. something just doesn’t seem right.

“here’s the coffee you asked for,” he mutters when he returns, his voice gruff but soft at the same time. he’s… definitely conflicted. the implanted urge to obey you mindlessly and the natural urge to protect his self-respect are fighting in his head. you watch curiously to see which will win.

leon has been through hell, and you can always see it when you look into his eyes. he’s been controlled by the government, a puppet on their strings, since he survived that night in raccoon city. he must be used to a lack of control in his life. but now he’s your puppet, and you have no interest in using him as a killing machine. you have… different plans for him.

“thanks,” you whisper, and he nods, quiet but obedient. just how you wanted him. he stands there beside you, not really knowing what to do with himself as you take a sip, “rub my feet now.”

“..what?”

“you heard me,” you say. and he did.

something in his stomach sinks at the command, a feeling of urgency to do as you say fills his entire being, but it just feels so wrong to him. you’re never this brazen, this demanding.

“come on, leon,” you say, almost condescendingly, pointing to the floor right in front of the couch, “on… your… knees.”

he breathes shakily, but kneels down in front of you, avoiding eye contact as he gives you your damn foot massage. there’s turmoil in his head, easily seen by that deer-like look in his eyes as he stares wide-eyed at the ground. despite his roughness, he’s always had these soft, fragile eyes, reminding you of who he really is. it would be truly heartbreaking to watch him go through this if it also wasn’t incredibly attractive to put him on his knees and order him around.

leon has always been relatively compliant, but now it’s on a whole other level. anything you ask for, despite some inner conflict, he’ll do. you wonder just how far you could push him, but… you don’t decide to test that just yet.

for a few minutes, or however long it takes for you to finish your coffee, you sit there with him. his touch is good but not very skilled. he gets the tension and soreness out though, and you’re sure you could train that into him over time.

“take off your shirt,” you say, and his throws off his t-shirt easily. it lands in the corner unimportantly, and your smirk radiates confidence and something else much more sinister, “stand up, bend over in front of me.”

he closes his eyes tightly, clearly fighting that inner battle but the part of him desperate to get away and to not obey you is losing. he slowly rises to his feet and does as you ask. he places his hands on the coffee table, legs spread slightly like he already knows what’s about to happen. funny, because he doesn’t seem to know much of anything right now.

you stand up, hands touching all over him but particularly grasping at his ass, pulling down his sweatpants and boxers and enjoying the way his muscles flex, tightening and hardening when you grab him, “you never let me spank you,” you muse, almost annoyed, “i get it. you get nervous with power play and letting me dom you or whatever, but i always wanted to hit it just once. just to satisfy the curiosity of what it would be like.”

your hand pulls back and slams against his butt with a loud smacking noise. he gasps, breathing out shakily after the hit, “i… i’m sorry, ma’am.”

“but now that we’re here… and i’ve already got a taste, i don’t think i ever want to stop. so, from now on, no more of that. if i want to slap your ass, i’m going to,” you murmur, “and you will not try to stop me or convince me not to.”

“i.. i…” he whimpers, and for a second you pause, nervously that the real leon, somehow deep down, heard that, “… yes, ma’am.”

“good,” you mutter, slapping it again, feeling the hit in your hand as you pull away, and if you can feel it so clearly then you’re sure he can, “now, be polite and say ‘thank you’. thank me for teaching you how to correctly behave.”

“tha… thank you, ma’am,” he whispers, eyes shutting slowly as his deep inner need to resist is weakening.

“i own you now,” you groan, grasping at his hips posessively, mouth pressing open kisses to his bare shoulder, “no, i… have always owned you. owned your body, you just didn’t realize it.”

he nods, incredibly turned on. his body aches to be claimed, to be made yours.

sure, leon has always been yours, but his body has been purely his. he’s… cautious with it. he’s been more or less just too busy for romantic partners, but somehow you snuck your way into his life and he happily lets you stay. he just… is slowly learning to trust you with himself.

he can do easy, comfortable, casual sex. what he can’t do is hand himself over to you like this, helplessly obedient, submissive in every possible way. as much as leon doesn’t have the energy to fight, tired and worn down, fighting is all he know.

your nails drag against the skin of his torso and back, leaving pretty red lines wherever they go, “no more fighting. no more stressing about it. all you have to do is be mine, unequivocally.”

“i… i am..” he mumbles, and you tilt your head, eyeing him curiously. he notices, shying away, “i… i am yours. unequivocally. you can… you can have me.”

manhandling has always been a little difficult, considering leon is all muscle and he’s a sturdy guy, but you spin him at the hips to face you, and he’s effortlessly moved, “can i… have your body just as much as i have your heart?”

“yes, i… yes, ma’am, it’s yours. do whatever you want with it, ma’am,” he says, a slight daze in his eyes, clearly he’s not all the way there. he's trying. he’s still so soft, so tender and malleable, so leon.

you lean in to press a kiss to his lips, and he melts into your touch, hands grasping him roughly, in a way that might hurt anyone else, but leon is strong. sure, your touch is bruising him, but… he doesn’t have enough

of his mind left to be bothered.

lips trail down his neck and shoulder, but move back up to his ear, sucking on his skin in a vampiric manner. you whisper to him, “you’re gonna only focus on my pleasure.”

“i… i am? i… i am…” he stutters, god it’s so damn cute.

“of course you are. you’d rather eat me out than have an orgasm yourself, wouldn’t you? if i was a crueler person, i would find a way to mind control your orgasms away completely. that way you could… focus on my pleasure, but i’m not that mean.”

he shudders, your lips pressing to the sensitive spot underneath his ear, teeth dragging down his skin, teasing him, taunting him.

“you wanna eat now?” you ask, lips pressed to his collarbone now, and he moans out an affirmative. you suck a hickey against the skin right atop of the bone, admiring the redness, the way you get to watch it turn a disgusting shade of purple. one that should make you nervous to have done to him, only turns you on.

instead of ordering him into his knees this time, you just push him, easily putting his head between your legs. his hands come up to hold your thighs, steadying himself as you half-stand half-sit on the counter. he pulls your pants down enough , but can’t even be bothered to take off your panties, just pushing them to the side.

“can.. i, ma’am?”

you chuckle, not really expecting him to be so polite, “go for it, sweet thing.”

he leans in, pressing a teasing kiss to your clit, just once, before his tongue meets your folds and he licks and sucks like tomorrow won’t come but he’ll make sure you will. he groans into your pussy like he’s the one being pleasured, and that honestly seems like a fair comparison. sure, he was physically pleasing you, but even just the act of giving oral is making his head spin with a satisfaction he has never felt before. he could get high off of this.

leon has always been good at giving head. much better than just good. he’s incredible. it’s the one thing where he can fully just zone out. if you’re too lost in your own pleasure, then you can’t focus on him and how he’s feeling, and there’s something oddly safe about the feeling of being, for all intents and purposes, alone with his thoughts. eating your pussy just comes so natural that it’s second nature.

but now? he can’t get lost in his thoughts if he doesn’t have any. doesn’t mean he’s enjoying it any less. he’s enjoying anything you ask him to do. you could tell him to go fold your laundry and then clean your bathroom and do your dishes and he’s do everything diligently and he’d be satisfied the whole time. god, maybe you do really want a househusband. besides, leon could use the emotional break from his job. he’s content enough serving you.

he makes you cum sooner than you expected, but it’s literally just because he’s that good with his tongue, and when he moved one his hands from your thigh to press two fingers into your cunt, fingering you in thick circular motions as he sucked on your clit, you were gone.

he continues, wet fingers gushing in a fast rhythm as you orgasm, grinding against his mouth, using him completely for your own pleasure. it was always a secret fantasy of his, and now it’s reality, even if his mind isn’t all the way there and the only thoughts running through his head are is she pleased with me? did i do a good job? do i deserve her praise? i should do better next time. i should serve her better. i only want to serve her.

and now that he’s completely helpless, servitude being the only concept he can comprehend, and you come down from a high so intense it took you a second to remember that leon was waiting patiently for your next command, next order.

“put… put me on the couch…” you gasp out in heavy breaths.

he’s strong, and he helps to guide you to the couch, body still part paralyzed from such an intense pleasure. you lay there, still breathing a little heavy.

“go get dressed and cleaned up…” you mutter to him, “and then come back out here and cuddle up next to me.”

he does as you ask, finding his clothes and getting dressed again, and then when he approaches the couch again, you reach out your arms for him. the smile he gives you is almost too real. too… really leon. you still feel that twinge of nervousness in your gut, but then he lays against you, head tucked into the crook of your neck, and you know he doesn’t know. for all that he’s good at, leon’s not a great actor.

you reach your hand up to run your fingers through his hair repeatedly, soft and soothing motions to lull him into a state of compliance.

“you’re mine,” you whisper, hoping he’ll confirm it back.

of course he does, softly, no longer feeling conflicted, “yours, ma’am.”

“you’ll be obedient and submissive from now on,” your voice is soft but carries a dominance he doesn’t quite think he could ever escape nor would he ever want to.

“i’ll be.. obedient and submissive.”

“you’ll only focus on my pleasure,” you say, knowing he’ll repeat it back obediently just like the ones previous, but you feel his rock hard cock against your leg and as much as you want to shove his cock inside of you in an instant, you can’t help but want to control him like that. keep his orgasms just out of reach until he goes mad from the teasing and edging you plan to do to him. keep him nice and horny and desperate, just how you like him. if he wasn’t submissive enough for you before, he is now.

“only yours, only ever yours, please…” his voice is soft and meek and god if you wanted to you could find a mind control that was permanent and just… leave him like this forever. let him take care of your home and future kids and do your household chores and tasks. keep him completely obedient, god it would be…

“you can’t resist,” you whisper, leaning into his hair,

resting your head against his in a soft intimate moment, “i can’t resist, ma’am.”

you nod gently, and after a moment, you sigh, running your fingers through his hair, “i’m.. i love you, leon. sorry about all of this..”

“… why are you apologizing, ma’am?” he asks, tilting his head slightly even in your grasp to show confusion. he really is just like a little puppy sometimes.

“you know.. about the mind control.”

he shrugs, the most unbothered happy smile on his face, “oh, that’s.. that’s okay, i’m fine with it. i.. already belonged to you.”

“but that was in a more… romantic way. an ‘i belong with you’ kind of way. not the kind i did to you,” you say, just a tinge of guilt holding you back, but you push it aside, “it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. i just.. just know i love you. even when i’m ordering you around.”

“i’ll remember that, ma’am,” he smiles up at you just a little softer, just a little more like his true self, just a little more leon. that heavy feeling of guilt in your gut will never quite go away, will it?

you fall asleep on the couch together, knowing or maybe just hoping you’ll wake up to leon not remembering anything. hopefully he doesn’t piece together that he has no memory of you giving him that hickey and those bruises on his hips were definitely not his job's doing.

—

you wake up to a fond smell of breakfast and a bright morning, sitting up off the couch as you look at your phone. leon’s not laying there next to you, which is odd but not completely uncommon. sometimes he goes out in the morning to work out or disappears in the middle of the night when he’s needed somewhere, but most of the time, and today included, he’s just in the kitchen.

you find him there, standing in front of the coffee pot, and you walk up to him to wrap your arms around his midsection, softly burying your face into his back to shyly hide from his gaze.

“awh, morning lovebug,” his sweet raspy morning voice says to you, a hand on your arms, holding you tight so there’s not even a chance you could let go, “missed ya yesterday. did you sleep alright?”

“...mhm,” you hum, pressing a sweet kiss to his shoulder blade.

it’s a sweet moment, full of love and warmth and tenderness and you could have almost forgotten what you did to leon last night had the smell of coffee not been hanging in the air. but hey, at least he doesn’t remember what really happened, though he’s kind of confused just how he forgot how he got all of these bruises and scratches.

[thisismeracing]

https://www.tumblr.com/thisismeracing/737177411791257600/httpswwwtumblrcomthisismeracing7364627668739?source=share

bono!reader head-canons (pt. 4) (glad yall like this insanity)

constantly falls asleep w/out taking her earrings out. whether it be when taking a nap or falling asleep while working in bed those earrings are staying in. so mick has taken up the mantle of taking them out and putting them back in her jewelry box

had those glow in the dark stick on stars on her childhood bedroom ceiling and maybe she still does in her grown up bedroom that she shares with mick

gets a cartilage piercing on the ear that doesn't have her piercings dedicated to working for merc. and the jewelry that she puts in it is a small “47” stud that she got custom made. her piercings represent her biggest achievements in life and her being able to let herself be loved and be in love took a lot of work to get to, so it absolutely gets acknowledged in what she considers to be an achievement

calls james allison “allie” because when she says james she means vowles, and when james a. came to merc in 2017 she needed a way to differentiate the james’.

has an orange cat [purely based of this tt: https://www.tiktok.com/@mildwestsami/video/7136290369683131690] im leaning towards either diesel or luna for the name, but i can be persuaded into considering other ones. those are just the two that seem the most fitting atm

carries her cat like a baby and buys mini furniture for said baby

i think it would be funny if this cat was a stray that was roaming around a gp and she decided to adopt them after checking if they had a microchip and owners

steals micks hoodies/sweaters and they have a bartering system where if she wants one of mick’s newly purchased article of clothing she has to give him one of his old ones back to secure the new one. great economically for her, not so much for this boy

pulls mick in by his belt loops when she wants him close to her

loves being close enough to her lover that she can feel and hear the rhythms of his breathes

having her head resting on top of her papa’s chest where his heart is, listening to the beats of his heart will, without fail, soothe her. it started when she was a smol babe but just because she’s a grown up now doesn’t mean that it wont work

her team headset is covered in small stickers around the merc logo

ok so the jewelry she has in her first cartilage piercing she got for being hired at merc is this [https://www.etsy.com/listing/729980335/arrow-earringscartilage-earring-16g?click_key=198d47f7f1895e88c7eef3638427353c6eef89af%3A729980335&click_sum=65e3a9a5&ref=user_profile&pro=1&frs=1]

has a guest room just for her in certain team members houses [lew, the wolffs, james v,]

i could also see drivers having a room for her (seb, kimi, jense, nando)

constantly tries to persuade (poach) hannah schmitz from working at rb to merc

i could see her meshing well with oscar

her first australian gp she got gifted a small koala plush from one of the drivers (im leaning towards michael) and for the years following it’s been a tradition for all of the drivers who wanted to participate to nominate and vote who would get her a new plush to add to the collection. the only rules being it has to be a koala and it cant be one she has already gotten in years past. best believe there have been fights for the privilege of being the koala giver

[and with that i will end this segment of head-canons, yes i breached the second google doc page again i dont want to talk about it]

happy new year and i can't wait for the 2024 season to start so i will grace the inbox with more bon

(also yes i know this isnt in the usual bulleted list format that i usually do for these hcs but i dont have the patience to re-format this ask on my phone cause tumblr decided to delete my bullet points)

☕️

prev

omg yes to everything sagksjgksdjg I won't even add, just appreciate this whole ass headcanon <3

tiktok link (it says unavailable for me :/)

i think it would be funny if this cat was a stray that was roaming around a gp and she decided to adopt them after checking if they had a microchip and owners // like corinna did w a dog during the Brazilian gp *crying into my hands*

piercing link

*virtual hug* its perfect

[ppnuggie]

         𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙈𝙀

　　『　mtmte various + gender neutral reader   』

　　—  gameplay 001  

　　— first chapter ,, make sure to vote at the end ! :) this is kinda a starting intro ,, to get it all started yknow ,, if you wanna be added to the taglist so you dont miss a chapter just lmk !

— taglist :: @astridkolch ,, @i-starcreamed ,,

　　＜　two , three , four , five    ＞

        you raced home ,, bag tight in your hand as it made noise upon entering your home . excited ,, you fished out the new game you had bought . you waited for so long for its release ,, wandering if it would even happen . though it was just announced not to long ago that it was already in stores ,, stocked up and ready to be bought .

        you couldnt help yourself . immediately after work you ran to the nearest gamestop ,, impatiently waiting in line and excitedly buying the game when it was your turn . the box looked lovely ,, a picture of some of the characters on the front . you'd immediately recognize them ;; rodimus ,, ultra magnus ,, ratchet and drift ,, and even a little tailgate and swerve .

        you were beaming witu excitement ,, ready to pop this baby open . luckily ,, you had the weekend off from work ,, so you'd be able to play the whole thing with an all nighter ,, or two . you read the back of the box ,, looking at the summary and all the possibilities in the game . you'd only seen small clips ,, but that was it .

        you grabbed your vr headset ,, turned your tv on ,, and prepared yourself to play . taking a big drink of a little something you got yourself whilst out and about ,, you put the headset on and loaded the game . the music was nice ,, upbeat and loud ,, yet it only made you vibrate with happiness . ultra magnus ,, megatron ,, and rodimus were on the front screen ,, along with the usual buttons .

        you payed a quick stop to the settings and got yourself situated ,, not wanting the background music too loud and covering up the voices of the characters . returning back to the title screen ,, you hit play and it loaded you through .

        everything about it looked amazing ,, the little transfer of pixels rushing past you as the screen loaded you to the next part ,, almost like it was what a quantum jump would look like . a small tutorial played through ,, explaining the many things about the game . how you'd need to do a 'job' to earn some shanix ,, or how the love percentages worked ,, and it finally introduced you to the love interests .

        there were 12 of them ,, all standing in front of you . your eyes quickly scanned over all of them ,, listing them off . rodimus ,, magnus ,, megatron ,, ratchet and drift . they both stood proudly beside each other . perceptor and brainstorm looked like total opposites beside each other ,, percy having his arms crossed over his chassis whilst brainstorm looked like he was about to burst with excitement . nautica was there ,, giving a nice smile ,, with rung and swerve on either side of her . rung looked to be cleaning his glasses whilst swerve was giving finger guns . and at the end was whirl and trailcutter . whirl hand his servos on his hips and trailcutter was just chilling there .

        after getting a good look around at them all ,, you finally loaded the game to start . it did another 'quantum jump' and you were soon standing in the bridge of the lost light . you took a quick look around ,, until a screen popped up in front of you . 'enter your name' it asked ,, and so you did . not long after you heard it be called . your head turned around ,, seeing rodimus prime standing there with his hands on his hips ,, and a smile bright across his face .

        ultra magnus and megatron were right beside him ,, towering him easily as he towered you . they werent their actual heights ,, just a few inches well over 7 feet . rodimus had to be 7'6 ,, whilst magnus and megatron were reaching past 11 feet tall . this was so it would still feel that they were their usual heights ,, without having them be so short and it being awkward .

        " welcome to the lost light (y/n) ! whenever you're done taking a look around ,, we'll get started !" the prime smiled ,, leaning in to place his servo on your shoulder . it almost felt real ,, like he was actually there in front of you . but at last ,, it wasnt and you didnt feel the weight of his servo like you would've . your heart raced in excitement ,, brain overwhelmed with thoughts racing around 90 mph .

[miowritings]

Hiiihihihihi omg new writing blog!!! Welcome!!! Its very fun here, anyway can I please request akito and an (separately) when reader gets jealous? If you want you can just pick one of them idc <333

A/N: OMGGG I CANT BELIEVE YOU FOLLOWED ME BACK🥹 IM SOOSO HAPPY YOU REQUESTED, IM A BIG FAN🩷🩷🩷OF YOURS!!!!! i changed some things but the idea is still there! (i liked this idea so much i decided to make a fic abt it/⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\ so sorry if its not what you wanted(⁠ ⁠･ั⁠﹏⁠･ั⁠) )

Jealousy, Jealousy

Akito shinonome x gn! Reader & an shiraishi x gn! Reader

An shiraishi

"isnt she just cool y/n! She learned to sing like a pro in just.. months! kohane's full of surprises huh.." she giggles talking about her singing partner kohane, you can help but be jealous of kohane, the way she talks about kohane like she was some sort of goddess was making you pissed in some way

while an was talking all you can do was smile and nod not noticing how your face screamed jealousy, an noticed this and leaned closer to you looking confused and concerned

"you alright y/n? You look.. sad and mad at the same time.. whats up?" She asked, you only sighed and told them that nothing was wrong and you were completely fine but an didnt belive any of your words "you really think im that dumb? Please tell me y/nnnn!" She pleads

"i just.. dont like the way you talk about kohane.." you mumbled under your breath an perked up and looked at you confused "whatddya mean?" An asked looking visibly confused "you talk about kohane like she's some goddess or something.."

"... Are you jealous?" She asked, your cheeks flush with embarresment while you avoid her gaze "me? Pfft no.. fine.. maybe i am.." you admit awkwardly, an pulled you into an embrace and kissed your forehead

"theres no need to be jealous y/n..if youre thinking that im gonna replace you.. im not.." she says in a comforting tone, you finally calmed down but was still not looking at her "i promise to you y/n i'll only stay friends with kohane.. promise.." she says then kissed your nose. "Promise?" You asked, an nodded then smiled at you "promise."

Akito shinonome

»you have been best friends with akito earlier this month, and was still crushing on him ever since. Today was finally the time to confess to him you were holding a box of cheesecake and was looking for him, only to see him sitting on a bench and talking to a short girl with brown hair, who was also sitting next to him

»"thanks.. i guess.." akito says akwardly to the girl beside him "thanks? Thats it? I went all my way just to buy you this and all you had to say was thanks?" The girl complained "thank you so much.. appreciate it.." the oranged haired boy replied with a hint of sarcasm "see? Now that wasnt so hard, now open up!!" The brown haired girl tries to feed him and akito only opens his mouth to let her feed him "im not a baby.." you got jealous of this browned haired girl and walked away, not knowing that it was his sister.

»"well youre the young one here, plus im your older sister! I get to do what i want with you" she teased back akito only groans in annoyance "i swear to-" he was cut off when he sees your silhouette going farther in the distance

»"was that y/n?" His sister asked, akito shrugged and stood up "guess so.. why'd they ran away? I should go check up on them.." Akito replied to his sister, she only shrugged and crossed her arms "thats a good idea.. make sure you confess to them kay? Im tired of hearing you practice in the middle of the night.." akito groaned in annoyance, then chased after you

»"y/n! you here?" He yelled looking everywhere for you, you couldnt hear him because you put on your headset, eating the cheesecake you were supposed to give him, akito sees you sitting on a bench before going behind you and taking off your headset

»"there you are! You should stop wearing these.. its damaging your ears.. I was also looking everywhere for you.." akito says to you before moving and sitting next to you "oh? You okay? whats up?" You only look at him and shook your head telling him that you were fine, akito chuckled and shakes his head "im not an idiot y/n.. i know youre not fine, now tell me." He says sternly you only sighed "im fine okay? You should go back to that girl, shes probably waiting or something.."

»"what.. what are you saying?" He asks with a deadpan expression, you only groaned in annoyance before speaking up "oh my gosh.. that girl you talked today..! Yknow.. the one feeding you pancake?" you asked bluntly while eating the cheesecake, akito looks at you before bursting into laughter

»".. whats funny?" You asked akito continues laughing before finally calming down and clearing his throat "you mean ena? My older sis? You think id rather hang with her than you?" he teased, it took you a second to process before your cheeks flush with embarresment "..wait what? Thats your sister? But.. you dont even look alike!" Akito chuckles and rests his hand on your shoulder "she is.. were you jealous?" He teased

»you sighed and only nodded in response, too awkward to look at him, akito smiled at you "dont be, i love you too much to replace you" he teased, your cheeks flushes in embarresment "..you love me?" You asked akito nodded "yeah.. and i know you feel the same way, since you get jealous whenever i talk to others.." he teased you only groaned in annoyance "your over exaggerating it.." you replied playfully, akito only chuckled and ruffles your hair "date this saturday?" He asked you took a deep breath then nodded with smile.

A/N(again): HSUSGSYSNS so sorry if its not what you wanted😭

[kiwidragon]

ok!! i finished the goobers if they escaped the funni circus, there are horrible and bad, but they are mine (pls dont comment how i draw ppl, i said it was gonna be bad looking if i drew them.), now... for the infodumping (under the cut ofc)

- how did they get out? well, i have two ideas for this 1. computer fire, whatever server/vessel their concussnesses were being kept in catches on fire (cause it old a fudk) outside ppl put it out, find out there's like, actual humans inside. and via some magic-migiver stuff they get them out, this way they still look far more like their "digital" selves. including skin color, bodily features (like ears and tails) and other stuff. 2. (and this is the one I'm going with for the above pic set maybe a year-ish after pomni entered the circus) 2-3 teens/young adults sneak into the (most likely) abandoned C&A building looking for goodies to sell for a quick buck. they find the computer and server (assuming there even IS a server attached to it) and deiced to unplug and sell it along with everything attached to it (the headset n everything), unplugging the server causes everyone inside to go into a sorta stasis-like state. few buy it before quickly returning it to the teens/young adults, claiming its "haunted" one of them (ill call protag) takes it home to look at. they quickly find out its more then just "haunted" several missing persons are trapped inside like some SAO-Esaki stuff. not wanting them to be trapped the protag tried to tell anyone that would listen that this is real and they have to listen. but ofc, them being "just a teen" doesn't lend them much help. eventually SOMEONE listens, some strange man who after seeing it, pays the kid a decent chunk of money before taking the computer (and server) away, seemingly never to be seen again. jumpcut to pomni waking up in a hospital bed. she quickly finds out that via unknown means she was able to get out along with everyone else. they all quickly become celebrity's due to their unique circumstances. but they all go their separate ways while still keeping in touch. now for head cannons :) jax would be THE whiteboy troll of all time. making money by doing youtoube stuff, id think he'd be the 2nd happyest to be out of the circus, behind pomni Id think that ragitha would be a therapist she just seems like the kind of person who would do something like that Gangle, well, id think that they'd be at least a little mentaly impaired from what was seen in the pilot. id think they'd live with ragitha or jax as they recovered and maybe mentaly grew up a bit.

I'm not Shure what job pomni would get but she shure as hell would be paranoid near constantly, thinking that this could be ripped away at any moment, and the next day she'd wake up back in the circus, in fact its so bad she often has nightmares about it.

Kinger would prob just be some old conspiracy dude who watches fox news or somethin zooble would maybe be some sort of fashion guru or commentary youtuber (shh im not good at making up jobs) Cane and bubble would have probably escaped into the internet, and be thoroughly traumatized (seeing as there's a lot of nsfw and other stuff like that) at the time they'd flee to someplace like VRchat due to its similarity to their old world they they escaped due to fear(?)

[goof320]

random goof ramble omg,,,

i hope whatever the valve deckard is is its Good and the same price as psvr2?? but i also dont care about new vr,, i only want valve deckard or new valve vr headset or whatever because it means they'll come out with a new game at the same time

half life alyx was *so* good and i dont think there's been a vr game to come close to how good it was and still is 2ish years later. i think half life 3 coming out with their new, not super expensive (~$500 please valve) headset would probably bend over and spank the other 5 billion standalone vr headsets coming out. half life 3 should *not* be only vr, fucking Obviously, but if it didnt have native vr support id be pretty upset because holy shit the end scene of hl:a ***you were HOLDING the fucking crowbar*** i need that for a 10-15 hour long campaign

valve,,, if yoy use tumblr,,, please.,.,.,.. youd make so much money hl3 wouldn't even have to come with the headset it could be $70 and youd be PRINTING money for the rest of time PLEASEEEE

also, it'd be really cool for a new valve game that's not a tech demo,,, i dont think hl:a was a tech demo for vr, but it.. kind of was? a really really good tech demo, but they probably wouldn't have made a spinoff half-life game if not for New Cool Technology. im pretty sure all of the recent valve games have been glorified tech demos. which i like them!! they're fun!!!! i adore hl:a and aperature desk job. and their vr game with the minigames is cute. the aperature game with the hand robots is cute, too. im probably missing one but all of them have been cute fun lil games.

hl3 tho,, new full valve game not just for a specific new tech thing? wooh.,.,. works on their new (and old) vr thing, steam deck, and a normal pc? Wooh,,,,, money printer right there.

more deckard rant... i hope to got its not a standalone.

maybe a standalone that doesn't play games.. hear me out wait hold on

valve doesnt like splitting up steam im pretty sure. if it was standalone, itd run on the xr2, an ARM chip, whereas all of steamvr is x86 because fucking duh yeah its for computers. i don't think valve is gonna have that thing running proton and like.. box86 or whatever. itd be TERRIBLE!! and theres no way in fresh hell they're putting the steam deck chip in there, or any other x86 thing, because it'd SUCK!!!!!! but if it was like... xr2 without steam. you can stream from your desktop, play those games wirelessly (or with displayport pls valve) or just look at your monitor in vr and browse the internet Whatever. i do wonder if a valve standalone with ARM would run linux ARM or android... knowing valve i bet it'd be linux. something thatd be SO fucking cool is- ok hear me out again this is a long one

steamvr home is cool... it sucks right now because valve hasn't done anything with it forever, and it just tanks your computer the second it starts, and there's.. not much to do BUT WHAT IF there was... what if it was like.. steam home (corny idc) and-

hello. i just spent 10 minutes describing neosvr. i deleted all that because i realized, i want valve to buy neosvr and put it in steam. just, right in the client. the whole thing. share media with ur friends, have a home world u can do Whatever the Fuck you want with and custom avatars and whatever you Want. neosvr is in a weird spot and if valve just fucking swallowed them whole and rebranded it as a Steam Home thing id ascend into the 6th dimension. neosvr is so fucking cool.... it makes me very sad though because again its in a weird spot and im sure they'll figure it out but Eeeeee,,,

anyway as i was saying... neos but in steam .. u start ur Valve Deckard or whatever its called.. new shiny vr ... and you sign into your steam account and ur put into steamvr+neos. its some new home lobby, there's a desktop sitting somewhere that you can boot up and its just fucking. linux arm with kde. because that'd be insane. or u could set it up to stream your big beefy desktop (maybe a vr headset modeled sitting next to it u can physically put onto your head to turn on the streaming as long as ur pc is accessible on the network). but also you could go outside or maybe just open a menu and go into whatever public world and do social vr things and neosvr things. please. itd be so cool,,, all the deckard could run would be steam home 2.0 and game streaming but itd be So Cool.... kind of a tough sell to people without computers untill vr cloud streaming becomes viable but i think people with computers (already valve's main demographic lol) may consider it.

[thefanficmonster]

Interesting Encounters

Corpse Husband *& Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Paranoia and Fear of Invasion of Privacy

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Corpse has an interesting run-in with his regular delivery girl, having the chance to talk to her for the first time despite her having been delivering to his door for months. It’s a big step in overcoming his anxiety and paranoia when talking to strangers.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! Hope you come across the final product of your request and give it a read and if so I hope you like it! Sorry for the wait, I hope it was worth it though! Love, Vy ❤

It’s a regular Monday morning, close to 10AM and Corpse’s face is practically glued to the sound editing app he’s downloaded, playing around with some cool effects to add to his voice in the background of the new song he’s been working on. He hasn’t been able to sleep a wink thanks to the immense excitement, not that he would’ve been able to regardless, but the tune and the lines have been stuck in his head all throughout the weekend and he knows they’ll be bothering him until he turns them into something other people will be able to listen and give an opinion on as well. So far he’s done plenty of work but there’s plenty more to go until it’s done. He’s at that point he usually needs feedback and wants to ask for it but would rather not to avoid either too harsh judgement or fake praise.

He slides the headset off, deciding to take a break for the sake of his sanity before he drives himself to insanity with the intensity of his focus on this new piece. His brain just so conveniently sends him a reminder that his groceries are probably waiting for him outside the door. He has, as of the last half a year or so, had someone deliver his groceries to him to avoid trips to the grocery store with both the whole pandemic situation and the growth of following which translates to growth of the risk of him getting recognized. That’s the main reason - and maybe the only one - as to why he doesn’t interact with the people who deliver to him either. He always gives his delivery person the instruction to leave whatever he’s ordered at the doorstep and if it’s not takeout to not even ring the doorbell. 

That being said, the deliverer of his groceries doesn’t ring the doorbell to give him the kind reminder to be responsible, but luckily he hasn’t forgotten to collect them yet in the six months he’s been practicing this delivery technique.

Going to the front door and looking out of the peephole, he confirms there are several full plastic bags waiting to be picked up on the mat. With the person who brought them not in sight, Corpse unlocks the door and steps out to bring in the groceries for the week. Taking them to the kitchen, he unpacks the goods in the three bags. At first glance he would’ve been fooled, seeing as how it seems that all he has ordered is there. But, each Monday, he receives exactly four bags of groceries. One is missing. He rolls his eyes thinking he didn’t see it outside and left it there while he was hurriedly collecting the rest so he gets up to go grab it real quick.

While in the meantime...

Y/N looks through the remainder of bags in her minivan, making a route in her head for what roads and shortcuts she can take to deliver the last of the groceries to the respective homes they need to be taken to. Upon looking through them, however, she sees a bag labeled ‘MM’ that she uses short for ‘Mystery Man’, aka the guy who never opens the door to greet her whenever she delivers him anything. She works for several delivery services such as takeout, groceries, clothes even and has delivered to that apartment hundreds of times but has never met the resident, giving her the right to call him Mystery Man, aka ‘MM’.

“Ah, shit.“ She mumbles under her breath, realizing she failed to grab the fourth bag when on her way up to MM’s apartment.

Coming to terms with the fact that she’ll have to lose another five minutes going back up to his floor, she grabs the bag and takes off running back inside the building and up the stairs, deciding it would be quicker than taking the elevator.

Just as she arrives to the floor, heading straight for the door, it opens, freezing her in her tracks as her eyebrows shoot up.  At the doorstep stands a guy with an eye patch who looks more surprised and maybe even a little terrified than her. Taking in that Mystery Man is not such a mystery anymore, she returns to her professionalism, remaining at a distance and outstretching the hand holding the bag towards him.

“Sorry, forgot to drop this one off as well, I’m a bit all over the place today.“ She says in her most professional voice.

Corpse too regains his composure and takes the handed bag from Y/N gloved hand. Before he can think twice about it he says, “Thanks, uh...”

“Y/N.“ She says, “I’ve delivered to you countless times, it’s funny you don’t know my name but it’s to be expected since I’ve never seen you. This would be a good time to tell me your name so I don’t have to call you Mystery Man anymore.“ She laughs, cutting her own laughter off barely a second later when she realizes what she’s said, “Oh, fucking shit...”

Corpse chuckles, clear amusement in the sound, “Mystery Man? Interesting, interesting. If I ever become a superhero I’ll make sure to pick that name.” He fails to even pay mind to the fact that he’s spoken a lot more than he’d usually feel comfortable with.

Y/N laughs a little awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck, “Yeah, sorry about that. I promise to come up with a better one if you’re not willing to tell me your real one. Like....Pirate, for example?” she suggests, raising her shoulders.

He can’t help but let out a laugh, “You’d be surprised, but my name is not so far from your mark. It’s, um....” He’s not looking forward to the judgmental look or the questions he might receive in response to his statement but he succumbs to the expected disappointment, “My name’s Corpse.”

Surprisingly, she just smiles - a smile he cannot see due to the surgical mask she’s wearing but the crinkle at the corners of her eyes gives it away. “Cool! Well, I better get going then.”

Just as she turns to head for the elevator this time, seeing as she’s still out of breath from the run up the stairs, Corpse gets an idea he’d probably not be too fond of if he gave himself time to think it over. Which is exactly why he didn’t.

“Hey!“ He calls after her, gaining her attention immediately, causing her to turn around, “You got a minute? I need a little help with something...“

Y/N’s eyebrows raise a little, a moment before she shrugs her shoulders, “Meh, I’m already behind schedule, what’s an extra minute gonna do?” And just like that, they strut their way back towards his apartment.

He can’t help but chuckle, taking the opportunity to crack a joke, “This is how people often get killed. You don’t just walk into a stranger’s apartment like that.”

She scoffs as she passes the threshold, “Believe it or not, you can learn a lot about a person based on the groceries they buy. And trust me buddy, you’re not a murderer.” Earning herself a laugh and a nod with that remark, she continues, “You do appear to be an artist with all the cheap food you’re buying though.”

Corpse laughs yet again, a hint of nervousness is sensed in his laugh this time around though, “Yeah, well, I don’t know if you’re still gonna call me an artist when you hear this song I’ve been working on. Not even out of the box yet.”

Y/N stops in her tracks, “Well, well, well, aren’t I honored to be one of the lucky people hearing this before its release.”

“The first hearing it before its release.“ He corrects her with a pointed look, not missing the excitement that arose in her eyes.

“Let’s hear it then!“

Of all the friendship stories that exist, no one can say this ain’t a unique one.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse  @sunnyrae-cessh  @ladykxxx08  @meowiemari  @renupf  @booklover76  @sra-verissimo  @beatrhizn  @blueberrystigma  @beatrhizn  @chicken-taco-burrito  @scorpios-echos

[ushiwakaout]

Things I believe Iwaizumi Hajime (timeskip: age 27: athletic trainer) would say if you lived together (from the moment you wake up, to the moment you fall asleep).

game streamer! reader.

warnings: swearing

“baby... come on.” (x2)

“y/n stop being lazy come on. you already have the laziest job in the world, get up before i beat you ass in the gym.” starts dragging your legs out of bed so he can carry you although you’re naked.

“WHAT ARE YOU HITTING ME FOR! It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked, idiot.”

“Get in the shower, come on... No y/n i’m not gonna bathe you.” (7:00 am)

“I can’t believe you made me bathe you... Do you want me to use the blueberry body wash or the eucalyptus one?”

“Stop opening your eyes, you’re like a fucking baby.”

“You know i could just drown you here and now, right?”

“OI! DONT SPLASH ME WITH WATER, I ALREADYS SHOWERED!”

“You really are like a baby aren’t you, lazy piece of shit.... Yeah I love you too.”

“Come on, we’re doing yoga today since you’re being lazy.”

starts stretching you back, pushing you down to your thighs. “Are you getting beefy?”

“Ow! Baby, i don’t mean it as a bad thing. Look, give me you’re arm.... Now flex, look see- muscle!”

“.......that’s hot.” him admiring you’re little muscle improvement.

“I’m such a great trainer.”

“you’re ass looks great today btw.”

“come here give me a kiss, i don’t think i’ve kissed you this morning.”

“fuck you’re so pretty.”

“Now what? Do you want for breakfast before i fuck you.”

“Y/n i will fuck you here and now if you don’t stop touching me.”

“Fucking, fuck- fine come here.”

“Stop being a brat and get you’re ass over here.”

“No don’t wear those jeans, wear the other ones. They make you’re ass look good.”

“I have the day off today, what do you wanna do?” (9:30am)

“Come to the grocery store with me... I’ll buy you your favorite snack.”

“Walk in front of me for a bit, just do it y/n.”

“I think there was so creep checking you out, just keep walking close to me.”

“Don’t be a brat and hold my hand, now.”

*kisses your knuckles*

“your hands are so pretty.”

“Do we need anything else? No you don’t need that, y/n don’t look at me like that, you don’t need it.”

“oh, oikawas calling.... Hey shittykawa, what’s up?”

“Go ring this up for us will you?”

*watches you walk away to the register* “what’d you mean you’re surprised we’re still together? i literally asked you to help me pick out a wedding ring the other night, don’t be a jerk.”

“okay yeah, yeah, i’m planning on doing it soon.... don’t worry- yeah I gotta go she’s coming back, talk to you later.”

“How much was it?”

“Did you get any extra- Oh you know me so well, thank you.”

“you wanna go to the game shop and check out if they have anything new you wanna try?”

*follows you around while he looks down at his nails* “I need a manicure... No not right now, we’ll go next time i have a day off.”

“Did you find anything you like? Alright let’s go home.”

“They days really nice out, do you have to record anything?”

“Do you want ramen? I want ramen. Let’s go get ramen.”

“GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY RAMEN, you got your own woman.”

“No wait let me try yours and then you can try mine.”

“Oh yours is really good, give it here, we’ll trade.”

“I said put your damn wallet away woman, i’ll pay for it.” (12:00 pm)

“Oh hold on, they have a new manga edition of godzilla, let’s go find it.”

“What do you mean in to old to like godzilla.”

*pinches you nose* “you’re the one who likes being coddled like a baby.” *iwa pout*

*whisper yell* “Come we need to go i shoved a kid into a bookshelf for the last copy! Don’t laugh at me!”

*at home* “Leave alone now, i’m gonna read this now.”

*you’re streaming now* “Y/N I FINISHED, Can i get your attention now....” *realizes your live streaming* “I- whatever, ima gonna sit on the floor now.” (2:00 pm)

a/n: YOU CANNOT TELL ME IWAIZUMI WOULD NOT SIT ON YOUR SIDE LIKE A PUP AND JUST LAY HIS HEAD ON YOUR LEG

“What are you playing.”

“Can i join?”

“Who are you playing with?”

“Tell Kenma I said hi.”

“Give me your headset.”

“Kenma, hey- how’s kuroo.”

“Hey no, i was just talking to Kuroo give me the set back.” *pouty iwa*

*you tell him to sho* *he slaps the back of your head lightly* “Ima got to the store, i didn’t realize we didn’t have beer.”

*forehead kith* “do you want anything?”

“I’m back!” (4:00 pm)

“Sorry i took so long, I bumped into Matsukawa and Hanakami.” *both of them yelling from the living room* “And they decided to follow me home.”

“You done streaming now? Come here.” (7:00pm)

*Iwaizumi doesn’t really talk to you while he’s drinking with Matsukawa and Hanakami, he let’s you dose off on your lap bc he knowns that 5 hours of streaming tires you out pretty hard.*

*kisses your hair*

*plays with your fingers*

*runs his fingers along your skin*

*plays with your hair*

*matsukawa and hanakami leave*

“y/n, come on, let’s get you to bed.” (10:30pm)

“come on sleepyhead.”

“Come on get closer baby, i know you get cold.”

“I work early tomorrow so i’m sorry if i wake you.”

“Night sleepyhead.” (11:00pm)

[yatsugareboyf]

helloo!! i hope you’re doing well!!

can i ask for head canons when atsushi and tanizaki (separate) forget their s/o’s birthday?? when do they realize? and what do they do after they realize?

cause all friends forgot my birthday (back in dec). only my one of friends remembered and everyone else only realized the like half an hour before the day ended or realized the day after and ngl that shit hurt really bad (╯︵╰,) but it’s okay they made up for it ٩(^ᴗ^)۶

sorry i needed to rant a bit but take your time we love you!!💗💗

hi anonnie i hope ur doing well too ^^ im glad they made up for it because it really sucks for someone to forget that its ur birthday yknow :( so here are hcs for u :))

hcs for atsushi and tanizaki forgetting s/o's birthday

atsushi nakajjma

i dont think atsushi is the type of person to forget your birthday just because its that special to him

but lets say he forgot to greet you because he was busy with the agency

you were so excited for ur birthday because atsushi kept on reminding you about it because he wants it to be the best day ever for you :(

but when you wake up and he's not there, not even a note or a breakfast left for you, you felt devastated

"well maybe he has a surprise for me when he gets home?" you think hopefully as u went on with your day

you never really do much for your birthday, but it felt so dull than usual :(

when you got home from work or school, atsushi was already there reading a book on the sofa

"so there isnt something for me?"

he looked over at you and smiled, greeting you as usual and asked you to sit with him like he always does

and he asks you about your day, typical daily stuff he asks you

and you were really upset, did he really forget about today? was your birthday something unimportant to him?

"well, i went out and got this new headset ive been meaning to buy... it only makes sense to treat myself for today..." you offhandedly remarked

"that's great! did something happen today? im sure you did well today, angel. im proud of you !" he says, clueless about the hints you're already dropping

despite his warm words, you weren't swayed. he really forget didnt he?

you sigh and stood up, making a beeline straight to your bedroom leaving atsushi stunned and thinking

i think that's when he realizes that today's your birthday and he forgot

BABY FEELS SO BAD LIKE OMG I FORGOT THEIR BIRTHDAY !!

rushes out the door to find any at all shops that were still open to get you small gifts and food

good for him, he alr prepared your gift ages ago, but he beat himself up for forgetting the day hes supposed to give it to you

poor bby pls accept his apologies hes trying :(

knocks on your door gently after setting up some things

"hey angel? can you open the door?"

with a little hope left in you that he didnt forget and everything earlier was just for show, you stood up (tho you weren't feeling better anw) and opened the door to a very nervous atsushi

"c-close your eyes, ill show you something."

he leads you to the dining room where he and kyouka set up a small feast with gifts around

yes kyouka is there now he asked for her help along the way

"im sorry for forgetting earlier :( ill make it up to you for the rest of today and tomorrow i promise !! I love you !!" hes all 🥺 and rubbing the sides of you arms in hopes tht you wont be mad PLSSSS

ofc u forgive him !! hes too cute !! GEOFJKRKRKJDKR

and you eat with him and kyouka, opening the small gifts he got you along the way

he got you colored pens, lotions, a small keychain stuffie tht reminded him of you, probably smthn random like a crystal he saw at this one shop tht the nice lady told him brings peace

for the bigger present he got you the bag you've been wanting for a while, since ur work/school bag is pretty beat up alr

he spends the rest of the night cuddling w you and watching movies

hes afraid to go to sleep cause he might forget about it again and he doesnt want you to get mad at him :(

takes the day off the next day and brings you to wherever you wanna go :DD

tanizaki junichirou

POOR BBY you asked him to go out for today because it was ur birthday right

he forgot tht one small detail and brought naomi with him

PLS you tried to enjoy today w him because it was ur birthday and you know shes his sister and all but today was about you :(

you ended up being left out esp when you went to the carnival :(

LITERALLY YOU WENT ON A ROLLERCOASTER AND YOU HAD TO SIT WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER WHILE HIM AND NAOMI SAT IN FRONT

you wanted to be mad u rlly did but you couldnt ksndkkekfkemmfk naomi is like... part of the deal yknow??

the day was ending and you decided to go to a yakiniku place to eat and there was a birthday event going where you get a free pass when its your birthday

tanizaki was reaching out to pay when you but in saying "here's my id, its my birthday today."

HIS JAW DROPPED I TELL YOU

"oh that's why we went out today!" naomi says, looking at the cashier as he punches in your info, recording your entrance as free

he couldn't bring himself to look at you during dinner he was that ashamed that he forgot cause he now remembered that today was supposed to be you and him only :(

WHEN THE WAITERS STARTED SINGING TO YOU IT WAS MORE AWKWARD THAN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN

naomi was greeting you and asking you about gifts and what his precious onii-chan bought you

"oh, he hasnt gotten me anything."

SHED BE SWATTING AT HER BROTHER

"you haven't gotten y/n anything?? onii-sama i know you love spending time with me but its their day !!"

she ends up leaving so tht her brother can make up for this so called tragedy he had caused

for a while it was just the sound of you grilling the beef and drinking when he spoke up

"y/n-ah, im so sorry i forgot :( do you wanna come to the mall with me? if its still open... ill treat you to anything you want !!"

BREAK HIS WALLET I TELL YOUUU /j

but he ends up buying evrything you wanted because he loves u and he feels bad :(

[smellofrainn]

Thank you so much @smolhilariousbeans for tagging me. needed this distraction. thank you ♥️♥️ sorry for taking time.

MUSIC

Fav genre?  rock, folk, r&b, pop, classical, musical, movies soundtracks ( its a major cuz thats how i find new songs.)im nt really familiar with music genres.

Fav artist? Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles and Lil Nas X

Fav song? that’s hard. there’s a list. Perfect Now (cuz i need her when im down), Sunflower ( cuz it reminds me of Louis lol), Numb and Creep.

Most listened to song recently? Perfect Now, that says a lot about my mental health.

Song currently stuck in your head? Raheemun Aleemun. Its a soundtrack from a Malayalam movie, Malik.

5 fav lyrics?

“Keep your head up, love . Keep your head up. dont hide away. dont ever change. keep your head up, love keep your head up. dont look away, dont look away. cause everybody's looking at you now my oh my. i guess some queen’s dont need a crown. and i know why. even when your tears are falling down . still somehow you are perfect now” im crying now people (happy tears). LOUIS has that effect on me. (Perfect Now by Louis Tomlinson)

“ I’ve become so numb. I cant feel you there. become so tired. so much more aware. I’m becoming this. All i want to do is be more like me and be less like you” (Numb by Linkin Park)

“Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes benz

She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends

How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.

Some dance to remember, some dance to forget" (Hotel California by Eagles. This song helped me survive my hostel life. *shudders*)

"People always told me be careful of what you do

And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts

And mother always told me be careful of who you love

And be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth

Billie Jean is not my lover

She's just a girl who claims that I am the one

But the kid is not my son

She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son" ( Billie jean by Michael Jackson🌝🌝)

"You're beautiful. you're beautiful. you're beautiful, its true. I saw your face in a crowded place. and i dont know what to do. cause i ll never be with you" ( you are beautiful by James Blunt.)

radio or and your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

this is going to be hard. i dont read that much. bcuz books are really expensive. god bless fanfic writers and ao3.

fav book genre? Fantasy, Mystery, Psychological thriller, Romance, fanfic.

fav writer? All FANCFIC WRITERS!!!! M.T Vasudevan Nair, P.Padmarajan, Malayattoor Ramakrishnan, P.F Mathews.

fav book? Verukal by Malayattoor Ramakrishnan

fav book series? none

comfort book? tired tired sea by Mediawhore

perfect book to read on rainy days? works of Mediawhore and Whimsicule. 

fav characters? Yakshi/Ragini, Bheeman in Randamoozham, Fancis Ittycora Ittycora, Louis and Harry 🙄🙄

5 quotes from your fav books that you know by heart? all in malayalam. no way i can translate those.

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first, depend on each story premise | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV & MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre ? Mystery, Crime Film Psychological thriller, Fantasy, Sci-fi, Horror, Drama, Adventure, Romance, Supehero, Anime

fav movie ? Fight Club, Chicago, MCU, Call Me By Your Name, My Neighbour Totoro, Thoovanathumbikal, Maichithrathaazhu, Blue is the Warmest colour. ( there’s too many actually. these are some i watch frequently.)

comfort movie ? Harry Potter and MCU.

movie you watch every year ? MANICHITHRATHAAZHU, it's a malayalam psychological thriller movie. Shobhana's acting in this movie is sp good and MOHANLAL💙💙 he's a gem.

fav tv show ? Dark, The Boys

comfort tv show ? Friends 

most rewatched tv show ? friends

ultimate otp ? none

5 fav characters ? Clara from Thoovanathumbikal(I'll never forget her), Sophie from (Nammukku Paarkkam Munthiri thoppukal), Marla Singer from Fight Club(can you hear her whispering "slide"), Malena from Malena, Adele from Blue is the Warmest colour 💙, Loki , Bucky and a lot♥️♥️

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging |one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off (only of its English or other languages i prefey not to put subtitles for Malayalam movies)| rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

whew this was fun!! i should read more books!!

anyone who is interested is welcome to play this. <3

Mohanlal 💙

Sophie from Nammukku Paarkkam Munthirithoppukal

Clara from Thoovanathumbikal 💙💙 she's my fav fictional character.

yaaaaay!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[azucanela]

GOING TO A CAT CAFÉ WITH THEM [GENDER NEUTRAL HEADCANNONS & SCENARIOS]

FT. AKAASHI KEIJI, KENMA KOZUME,  USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI

SUMMARY: Going to a cat café with the boys is eventful!

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

WARNINGS: domestic, fluff, established? relationship, aged up for no reason

A/N: proudest of ushijima’s that is all akjsdjkasd also disregard random keyboard smashes, i think i caught them all but my cat kinda just did a dance on my keyboard ya know and uhhh yeah if you followed me for haikyuu!! now is the time to get your juice bc i have a [another] tsukki fic in the works

AKAASHI KEIJI

HEADCANNONS & SCENARIOS

100% his idea, or at least hes the one who initiated the date after hearing you offhandedly mention a new cat café coming to town, i feel like akaashi likes cats and dogs so he’ll be happy no matter what. but like cats just hold a special place in his heart because i dunno, akaashi lowkey reminds me of a cat, i have no explanation

akaashi honestly just thinks it would be cute to watch you interact with cats, like obviously he likes cats himself, but like w o w 

his s/o AND cats, how could this get better

“Y/N?” Akaashi spoke softly, arms wrapped around Y/N as he rested his head on their shoulder. Y/N hummed absentmindedly as they continued to cut the fruit before them, tilting their head towards him to indicate that they are listening. “I was thinking that for our date next week we could go to the cat café you mentioned.” 

Y/N pauses, their hands freezing as they spoke, “are you for real?”

Akaashi smiled, pressing a kiss to Y/N’s neck, “yes for real. You said you wanted to go and it sounds fun.”

“Have I ever told you how amazing you are?”

He offers them a small smile before pressing another kiss to their cheek, “Not often enough.” Comes his response, earning and eye roll from Y/N, though they lean further into his hold.

“Well, I’m excited to go with you.”

akaashi is the type to pay more attention to you than the cats, he finds your interactions with them entertaining and just all around thinks everything about that is adorable.

he loves watching you in general because he’s an observant kind of person. watching your mannerisms and interactions with others is how he kinda get to know you in his own sort of way, if that makes sense? he just compiles all this information about you in his head

obviously he’ll be petting cats as well but i feel like akaashi is actually really cold, like naturally cold, so cats might find that off putting but also he is probably really good with cats

they’ll be pestering him but he’s just watching you with a SOFT look on his face, like even the other people in the cat café are jealous watching because wow he likes likes you

likes to just hold cats, and cuddle, akaashi seems like the type to enjoy napping and could easily be compared to one himself because i dunno,,, he has cat vibes

Akaashi’s eyes don’t leave Y/N’s figure as he watches them pet the cat before them affectionately, a smile coming onto his face as he silently thanks himself for suggesting this. He absentmindedly strokes the cat seated in his own lap as his eyes meet theirs.

“Keiji we need to come back here.” They exclaim, smile on their face as they stare back down at the cat in glee.

He couldn’t help but wonder if they should consider adopting their own cat, nodding along to her words in agreement, “we should.” 

Y/N beams at Akaashi, moving closer to him to press a kiss to his cheek before returning their attention to the cat. In the corner of their eye, they can feel Akaashi’s eyes remain on them momentarily, before his gaze falls onto the cat once more. And Y/N can’t help but smile as they think of what the rest of the day holds.

And the cat they may or may not have been looking into buying.

KENMA KOZUME

HEADCANNONS & SCENARIOS

cat person HANDS down, i feel like this is a universally accepted fact, but cats are just calm. dogs definitely overwhelm kenma, they’re too high maintenance, and he probably finds them gross ngl.

i feel like he’s definitely wanted to go to a cat café with you, he’s just never asked because he thinks you’ll say no or smth

if you don’t ask he will ask eventually though, but i feel like you’d hear about a cat café nearby and be like wait kenma likes cats we should go

“Hey babe?” Y/N spoke from their seat on the couch, feet resting on Kenma’s lap and eyes still on their phone as they stared at the ad for the cat café.

Kenma on the other hand, sat with his eyes trained on the TV screen as he played on his many video games. He’s speaking lowly into the small mic connected to his headphones, but that doesn’t stop him from humming in reply to Y/N’s question as he brings a hand to move one of the headphones off his ear to listen. 

“Would you be interested in going to a cat café with me?”

Almost immediately, Kenma turns to Y/N, nodding far more eagerly than they expected. Kenma mumbles something into his mic before the TV screen goes black and he’s taking his headset off before spreading Y/N’s leg to move between them and rest his head on their stomach and look up towards them. “When?”

he would be so excited, like it would be the day of and he’d be trying to rush you out of the house because he wants to go see the cats n o w

don’t even try to talk to him when you finally get there because kenma is SUBMERGED in cats, he is no longer with you, his mind is with the cats. okay??? okay. glad we are on the same page.

kenma knows how to treat cats to get them to like him, he knows how to pet them and approach them, he has done research because he is SO READY to ask you about adopting a cat together— this is basically a proposal, say yes. 

in general the cats would enjoy his presence, he’s calm and wouldn’t manhandle them, he understands boundaries and isn’t going to bother cats that don’t want to be bothered

he probably wouldn’t like attract cats, but he definitely wouldn’t scare them off, and if you visit the cat café frequently enough they’ll all definitely start to gravitate towards you because wow!! the guy who gives good pets!!

yeah but dont go to a cate café for a date, you’ll get neglected, his attention is on the cats. he will, on occasion, look towards you and see how you are doing with the cats. this is a test to see if you are worthy of owning a cat with him

if you pass then he now wants to marry you congrats. 

slightly off topic but kenma strikes me as the type of person who is just cold all the time

A soft smile found its way onto Kenma’s face as he gently petted the cats, scratching behind its ear before looking up at Y/N, who stared at him with a smile of their own. “Having fun?” They asked, hand on the cat seated in their lap. 

The boy in question nodded, leaning downwards towards the cat, “we should come here again.” Y/N is about to reply when the cat in Kenma’s lap reaches up and swats aggressively at his hair, a look of shock followed by another smile making its way onto his face as he allowed more hair to come into his face.

“Yes, we definitely should.” 

Kenma looks up to Y/N, cheeks dusted in red as he tilts his head at her, “maybe we could adopt a cat.” He looks back down at the cat before him, “do you think they’d let us—”

“We both know the answer,” Y/N replies before he can finish, “but I’m sure we can look into it.”

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI

HEADCANNONS & SCENARIOS

honestly

both a cat and dog person but cats hit different 

ushijima was probably talking about you with tendou, offhandedly, and he mentioned how he wanted to do something with you for like your anniversary or some sort of occasion or just purely because he is grateful for your existence

and then he was like, “yes I was considering taking them on a date to this—” he’s gonna say a fancy restaraunt and tendou is gonna be like lmao no

"So, what are you doing this weekend Ushiwaka?” Ushijima doesn’t same to take notice of Tendou’s suggestive brow raising, or the suggestive look on his face, much to Tendou’s dismay.

He replies nonetheless, “I intend to take Y/N on a date, they’ve done a lot for me and I figured they would enjoy the new—”

“Let me stop you right there my tall friend.” Ushijima frowned at the interruption but paused, gazing at Tendou with a look of confusion as he grinned widely at the renowned ace. “Cat cafés are the perfect way to express your gratitude to your lover.”

Ushijma tilts his head at Tendou, “cat café?” The questioning tone brings an incredulous look onto Tendou’s face as he stares at Ushijima.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know what cat cafés are– you seem like a cat person, there’s no way I was wrong—”

tendou suggested going to a cafe date, and i feel like its because he just has a feeling that ushijima wakatoshi likes cat, and is completely incapable of planning a date well enough

tendou lowkey wants to go— maybe even bringing goshiki along, suggesting that he could observe was elite aces do in their free time, something the young and easily influenced boy would definitely [eagerly] agree to do alongside tendou — but he thinks stalking you and ushijima is like...

ya know, stalkerish. not that this has ever stopped him before, but he has a feeling that ushijima would want to return to the cat café and he’d have another chance to witness his interactions with cats

speaking of

when y’all get there its gonna be... kinda chaotic

this can go two ways for ushijima, like he’s a big guy and i feel like he is on the warmer side because of this and his athleticism and stuff like that, a mini human heater if you will.

he is also very tall and resembles a tree

many cats will love him, coming over to him and winding between his legs, purring against him and enjoying his warmth. but also meowing at him until he p i c k s t h e m u p. ushijima is confused by this, but at some point he does pick up the cat to ask— literally ask — what is wrong, and it stops meowing so he’s like oh okay then you’re fine. he puts the cat down and its BACK TO MEOWING AT HIM AND HE’S???

there’s definitely going to be a cat that literally climbs him, like sinks its claws into his pant legs, and maybe even to the skin, and climbs up his body to try and steady its self on his shoulders

i feel like he has good pain tolerance so he should be fine

but there is definitely going to be a cat that does not like him and its like scared of him because wow!! tall human!! scary face!! no!!

ushijima is probably gonna watch you while all these cats are harassing him for attention, but no— his attention is on you, his beautiful s/o.

Y/N grinned as they watched their boyfriend stare down at the cat that rubbed itself against his pant legs, purring and meowing repetitively as it look up at him. “Babe, why don’t you pick up the cat?” Y/N suggested, gesturing with their free hand to the cat below. 

Ushijima offered them a small — and most definitely nervous — smile as he leaned down, eyes fixating on the cat as his hands came to its side and he lifted it upwards to cradle the cat in his arms. “What’s wrong?” He asked, eyes narrowing at the cat in confusion.

Y/N nearly laughed at the question as the cat ceased meowing, prompting Ushijima to frown as he nodded solemnly, “you want to be put down then?” He asks, freeing the cat from his grasp and gently placing it on the ground, only to be met with another, rather aggressive meow. 

He probably would’ve picked the cat up again had the small cat that had effectively evaded him their entire time in the cat café not appeared in the corner of his eye. Y/N watched as he turned slowly, gaze falling on the cat that stared at him with piercing eyes.

And then ran away.

A laugh escaped Y/N as they watched the interaction, only for Ushijima to look up at them and frown, huffing as he carefully maneuvered through the cat café in fear of hurting a cat. “Come here— no, stop that. Stop running—” His arms were extended outwards as he slowly walked towards the cat, brows pursed together in concentration.

Y/N simply stared, a small smile on their face as they decided they wanted to do this again. 

tags: @therainroguefanfiction​ @iwaizoom​ @shawkneecaps​ @kuroirl​ @shinaus​

@beifongsss​ [bruh i dont even think you asked to be added but like i cant remember so] 

[1000-rat-corpses]

talking to myself abt dumb bullshit

bc no one knows what to get me for christmas, i usually have to do the shopping myself. so i look around and think about things i would 'like to have' for general quality of life improvements/hobby bullshit includes like...a new mic for my computer bc im using an old headset's mic that isn't so great and i have to jerryrig my wires together to use a different pair of headphones while using that headsets mic only. but quality of life improvements basically have prerequisites, and getting one thing needs something else, etc....

so i found a great mic, great reviews, redditor approved lol, the perfect price BUT it's a stand mic which i dont exactly mind but i think is a little inconvenient bc my desk space is really limited, and said desk is a shitty old thing im still using from high school that was actually first going to be thrown out by someone in our church (so it's piece of used shit that's also been well worn by me over the years and boy is that shitty thing PEELING, the hutch on the top is dipping, etc)

so then like ok, clearly i could use a new desk!, nah not bc of the mic space really, but just so i can improve my space!

well now we're scouring the internet for desks. and desks are expensive as hell. oh but nice sleek (not country-ass lookin ugly chunky wood bougie bitch) desks dont really have hutches that go over them but that's okay you can just install shelves into the walls to put all your nerd shit on. we can work with that.

oh and hey why have this nice desk but your chair is shit and older and uglier than the desk? and it doesn't stay up for long when you raise it. sounds like i should buy a new chair. but alas. GOOD chairs are hundreds of dollars, and gamer chairs are ugly as shit and bad for your back....and made of hot pleather (yuck). cool.

oh wait. i forgot to measure these desks and chairs. if i want better tabletop room the desk should be a biiiit bigger than what i have now... but my room is too small. Awesome.

better FUCKING MOVE OUT and find an apartment that's spacious enough to fit my cool new desk and lets me drill shelves on the walls, all for a superfluous problem i created.

on top of this i bought a new monitor during black friday bc my old one was a flickery gnat-killing disaster, but it takes up so much space on my desk AND the back of it is too thick so it's pushed in my face too close and this could also be solved by having a bigger desk...which would need a bigger room...

[artificialqueens]

Cause Though the Truth May Vary, This Ship Will Carry (Gigi/Nicky) - Campvanjie

AN: Based on the prompt: “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” - “Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.” A slight AU Gigi/Nicky, little bit of unrequited crushing and a lot of fate, originally posted to my old AO3 account on May 24th, 2020. Edited as well to add non-binary pronouns for Gigi out of drag, as the original used male pronouns. Don’t worry, I’m the original author and only want all of my stories collected under one pen name.

Summary: Nicky and Gigi strike up a friendship online, but just can’t meet until the time’s exactly right.

CW: slight mentions of homophobia.

The sun’s almost setting on an August day when Gigi flicks through the games in their library, bored of sniping enemies from rooftops, set on finding something else that has a competitive mode, kicking underneath the bed to find their headset. It would probably be best to at least try to talk to other people, and maybe even count up all the times people call each other gay without even realizing they’re talking to someone, who’s made sixteen dollars an hour dressing up as a girl and working at the rock climbing wall for all of high school.

There’s gay, and then there’s Gigi Goode; with a closet hanging full of custom couture, not that they’d ever admit to their mom that her work isn’t the worst.

There’s only one player in the team’s group chat, as Gigi adjusts their headset so they can talk into the mic.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hi!”, laughs the voice in his headphones; crackling as Gigi shoots and blows apart a box in the game’s lobby. There’s an accent there he can’t quite place, not that it matters so much, since the guy on the other end easily guides him through the map and even cracks a couple of jokes as one of the other team’s players is booted off a cliff. Maybe he’s Spanish, or Russian, since there are lot of Russian people on the server at this time of almost- night.  

They queue for another round, his player’s character stopping next to a poster of one of the girls in the game.

“I like her, do you?”, he asks, and Gigi cringes a little. Straight guys were fucking exhausting, but this was just embarrassing-

“Like, this coat, with the belt like this, makes her waist look like she is a wasp. The insect, not the white people.”, he keeps talking, and Gigi’s eyes widen a little.

“Yeah, I’d buy those boots.”, they joke, hoping that whoever it is, will take it in stride, and he won’t have to listen to someone who’d been cool for the past half an hour, suddenly start losing their mind over how gay that was to say out loud.

“The boots? I want this hair- I want just Mortal Kombat hair but like this color, and maybe instead of a gun I want the scepter, like Sailor Jupiter. You’ve seen that, yes?”

Gigi blinks a couple of times. He’s serious?

“Like, of course. Yeah.”

“She’s a Mugler bitch. Hm, aren’t you?”, the voice teases on the other end; kicking at one of the boxes in the game.

Gigi is silent, as their queue timer runs out, and their team join another game which is already active when they’re dropped in.

“It’s the Hermes winter collection.”

“What?”

“That jacket is a dupe from the Hermes winter collection. You said Mugler-”, Gigi repeats, blasting through a wall in the game.

“Oh- oh you’re saying- this past winter! Of course! Maybe someone on the design team is also a fan?”

“Maybe.”

The two of them finish the round, and Gigi eagerly hits yes; when a little box pops up to add TheNickyDoll to their friends list.

(Gigi adds him back on Discord, too- because they’re probably not taking the Xbox to college, and then, they can send pictures right away.

He’s not a serial killer, and he’s cute.

Gigi can’t help but wonder if Nicky thinks the same of them.)

They slowly knit together in between Gigi’s first semester, and when Nicky moves into a new apartment in the eleventh arrondissement in Paris, and pops a bottle of champagne against his camera on his phone, propped up in his new kitchen. He plays with the zipper on his hoodie, and Gigi still can’t help but be surprised with how simple his wardrobe is.

Gigi spends hours carefully curating their wardrobe, though they supposed in Europe, there were just better pickings.

“Don’t you have friends?”, Gigi jokes, shirtless against the white brick walls of their dorm.

“Everyone will be over later, but I just wanted to do a toast for your timezone. It will be like three am for you when everyone else gets off work.”

“So this is a private party? Well… okay let me get my card.”

“Seriously? Not that kind of party!”

“Didn’t say it was. Congratulations, by the way. I got you something! Well like, I found it, and it’s so you-“

Gigi flicks the camera to face forwards, swinging to a painting hanging in the closet.

“Aw, well you didn’t have to- what the fuck is that?”

“Putin! I painted him in like the eighth grade. My mom was dropping off some stuff last weekend and I can mail him-“

Nicky’s eyebrows shoot up, pots and pans clattering on the other end of the line.

“Bitch, I am trying to not be the victim of a hate crime.”

Gigi laughs a little bit, flipping the camera back to focus on their face.

“I never asked, what do you even do?”

“What?”

“Like you- you have a job right? What’s your job?”

“Ah, I’m working, well I worked at a makeup store, but now I have some contracts, and maybe, you know- this neighborhood is where all the bars and the clubs are. If there’s no work on the runways maybe some will be looking for new girls.”

Gigi’s cheeks run hot for a moment.

“Wait, you- you’re a girl?”, they ask weakly, hoping it won’t absolutely ruin their entire… whatever it is, when you’d rather have a private housewarming alone in bed, than pretend to enjoy the beers that are flowing through the rest of the hall downstairs.

“Only when I’m being paid. Do you know- well, you have to in America you have RuPaul’s show- it’s like that-“

“You do drag? Wait, really?”

“Shhhh.”, he stops them, pressing a finger between his lips. “It’s like, I haven’t got any bookings yet but some of the clubs are interested- some of the parties, too. I can be a bottle girl.”

Gigi simply blinks repeatedly in the screen.

“What- is that too gay? I thought we were both pretty gay.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Hey-“, Gigi keeps the camera on their face, their eyes flicking up towards the naked mannequin resting against the closet door. Most of Gigi’s things were still at home, but there was a black feathered swimsuit they’d been working on- if they took out the waist just a bit-

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Wow, we are getting deep in, Dr Phil.”

“Seriously, what is it?”

“I’m feeling pink recently. Usually just- something simple. Blue. Black. It’s soothing.”

“Black is not a color.”  

“Then it’s my favorite not-color.” Nicky pours from the bottle into a flute on her counter. “Get something to drink, come on.”

“Uh-“

“Doesn’t matter what. Come on!”

Gigi reaches for Red Bull, yesterday’s alcohol mixed into it, tangy and stale in the metal can.

“Okay.”

“Pace a Salute!”, Nicky cheers, and they clink their drinks against the camera.

-

Two months later, there’s a wrapped package on his stoop, covered in foreign postage, wet at the edges like it’s been through- what Americans would call the ringer, the labels so scratched over he can barely make out the return address, when he cuts the cardboard open on his kitchen counter.

If this was that stupid Putin painting, he was deleting Gigi from his entire life-

Inside, is fabric folded in paper, a little cloth ribbon tied around where a card is tucked in.

“I dont know what your actual skin tone is because you need better lights but merry Christmas if it doesn’t fit or doesn’t match sell it on eBay and get better lights”,

Gigi has written, in neat, large letters.

Nicky carefully unfurls the rest of it, and there’s a blue and pink bodysuit inside, accented with green and yellow panels that glitter like the facets of a diamond, and a yellow jacket, the bottom cut off just below the ribs, hemmed in thick stitches so the fabric won’t roll up.

Had Gigi gone and had this made? Or was it off the rack?, he wondered, digging for price tags and labels in the fabric.

Nothing.

Shit.

He fires off a message to Gigi, who is still showing as offline, given it’s probably six in the morning where he is.

14:17

-

How much is this “gift” you got me? Wtf…

FaceTime me later.

There’s predictably no response, and that night; he paints carefully in the mirror in his bedroom, laying out the little black dress he had chosen for the performance on his bed.

At the very last minute though, it’s that little suit from Gigi that wins out, nude panels sliding over his tights as he shimmies in front of the mirror.

It’s not perfect, but it all looks very nice.

When later comes, Gigi is wearing a red wig with blonde streaks that she runs her long fingers through, winking at the camera.

“My mom’s actually a professional seamstress. It didn’t cost anything, babe.”, she says with a little shrug, a tight yellow dress barely moving around his shoulders. There’s always a party here; and Gigi can’t imagine hating it more, the little college town bigger than he was used to, and yet still- too small for what she really wanted.

“If you want other stuff, I’ll send it. There’s lots of stuff that I don’t really wear anymore and we kind of have the same style. It’s not like anyone can say anything, then they’d have to admit they’ve seen me out in public. Or I could even make you something, I’m bored all the time.”

“Why are you doing this?”, Nicky asks.

“I dunno. It’s not like you’re my competition. You’re my friend.”

19:41

-

Anyway, I’m dropping out of school, getting a nose job and moving out to LA.

Gigi types out on their phone, underneath the table at their family’s annual thanksgiving dinner.

19:41

-

Maybe not all at once.

Nicky’s reply comes lightning fast- making Gigi grin.

“Are you seriously getting nudes right now?”, one of their brothers asks, and their mother glares at the both of them over the table.

“I’m getting some new sketches from my atlier in Paris.”, they seethe, glancing back down at the floor. Nicky’s been trying to teach him French, like it’s something that occupies them so that Gigi doesn’t implode; in between sending him links to his favorite shows to watch, and YouTube links to makeup tutorials.

(He still hasn’t figured out if Nicky means it; or if he’s trying to be shady, and just doesn’t know how.)

“Atlier is where you get the clothes made, dumbass. Mom’s sewing room isn’t Paris.”

“Shut up!”

“All of you just stop-”

19:43

-

It’s a hard time in life in general.

Try not to listen so much to those voices in your head.

Nicky’s text pops up with a loud, mechanical pinging noise, three dots still hovering under the message as Gigi forces looks up from the screen and glowers across the table as they reach for more baby carrots.

19:43

-

Make mistakes, but not too many, haha. You’ll figure it out.

If it makes you feel a little bit better, I’m moving to San Fran

19:43

-

What? For real?

Gigi’s nails frantically tap over the screen.

19:45

-

Yes! I bought a ticket.

And my husband called an immigration lawyer, we’re going to get my green card situation set.

“Lawyer-”, Gigi gasps; and their entire family pauses, glancing over the table at them.

“Jesus Christ. You did it, didn’t you? You got arrested your first semester, and you weren’t even gonna tell us-”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”, they snap, flipping the bird at their oldest brother.

“Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.”

Their whole table erupts in a discussion Gigi can’t pay any attention to.

19:50

-

Cool.

That means I get to see you soon.

It’s gonna be great.

They taps ou, and close the app with a smile.

-

They hadn’t known if Nicky even had a boyfriend, not that it mattered; until it did.

Apparently; he had been married, for almost the whole time they had known each other- a blow Gigi hadn’t quite expected, to leave them as breathless as landing in Los Angeles; the shock not setting in, not in full, anyway- until they are standing in a new apartment, looking down at a menu of instructions on how to set up the wifi in the unit, fingers hovering over everyone in contacts.

They can’t call their mom; not this soon, and their brothers would tell her, and the whole plan would crumble; just like everything had with Nicky; whose calls Gigi had declined for the past solid month; the nights they had spent with their phones propped up behind desks and dressing room mirrors fading into something beyond memory; that they refused to think about any more than they had to, the messages asking if they’re alright answered in curt, short replies.

How could they have been so stupid, thinking that they were talking-talking, teasing that Nicky and they were friends; when Gigi didn’t even know what his real name was.

(Unless it was Nicky?)

Shit.

Gigi waits for their phone to load into the app, and refreshes the friends list a couple of times, until they can see Nicky’s icon at the top, the side of the circle cut through with a little green dot, and taps twice to start a call.

“Hi?”

Nicky’s greeting floats in the air, between a breath and utter silence before Gigi swallows their pride, pressing the phone to the side of their face.

“What do you know about connecting a router to a tower if I live on the…um third floor?”

The line crackles, but soon there’s a tiny, familiar chuckle. “First of all, that is not how you do any of that-”

They talk a little more, every day; in between, Nicky moves to New York and Gigi cuts a tape that they put in the mail with a wink. They’re due for a visit home soon, and carefully proposes- maybe it’s time they meet Nicky. New York isn’t far at all, and a layover would make for a cheaper flight, anyway.

-

Their plans stack up in hours of calls; and Gigi think they’re almost back to normal. Until, three days before the flight is supposed to leave, there’s a call they had forgotten to wait for, and their fingers hover over the message box below Nicky’s name, vibrating with anxiety and excitement all at once.

09:22

-

Hey. I had a family thing come up.

Gigi types, and then erases the text, steeling themselves as they taps out another one that makes a little more sense, and doesn’t seem like such a lie.

09:30

-

I’m so so so so sorry about this

I had some things come up and my trip fell through.

They send this instead, surprised to see Nicky start typing back immediately.

09:35

-

You’re not going to believe this

I have some work things that started recently and so it would have been really shitty to have a guest over now.

09:35

-

No way!

09:37

-

Yeah. :(( But we’re gonna hang out someday, I swear!

09:37

-

Dont worry! You’re definitely gonna see me.

Real real real soon!

-

“-Where do I go?”, Gigi asks, pulling at the bottom hem of the ornate jacket she wore, fiddling with the gold telescope in her hands. The lights behind the set burned brightly, making the thicker bottoms of the outfit feel much warmer than he had remembered them being.

“Go to that green square on the ground, and wait there, when you see the little arrow light up, you can enter the Werk Room and then we’ll have you stop inside, get your opening line, and let you see the other girls.”

“Okay.”

He does as he’s told, prancing in and kicking his boots in front of him as the lights move to capture Gigi’s entrance, his head only snapping to the side when given the signal, so he can see the others who are already crowded around the pink tables he’s only dreamed of seeing for so long.

“Holy Shit…Nicky?!”

In reality; Gigi can see far more of the detail of Nicky’s face; of her eyebrows and carefully painted cheeks and lashes, of all the effort that they had only really talked about, his eternal summer tan and the long fringe of black hair that he’s always nudging across his forehead, or slicked against a beanie, gone behind a platinum blonde veneer that’s so much brighter than Gigi has ever seen. She’s thinner, and taller, careful breaths underneath sequinned shoulder pads, knees knocking together as she gasps.

“Gigi!”

Widow and Crystal glance at each other over the pink table.

“Hold up, you guys know each other?”

In the flesh; Gigi is impossibly small, the sharp angles of her face, and the dark brown hair that sticks up in angles which Nicky traces against the white of his pillows in his bedroom on the screen of his phone in the morning, taped underneath a gold-tipped pirate hat, and lush, wavy curls. She looks like a model on the runways where Nicky used to work; so close to him that he can feel Gigi’s breath on the back of his hand, as he tightens his grip around the epaulets on her shoulder.

“Gigi Goode.”, she repeats, and Gigi giggles a little at that.

“The Nicky Doll.”, she laughs, and her voice sounds so much more solid, than it ever has over every crossed wire.

Gigi’s hand swings, squeezing Nicky’s tightly as they swing around the table; like the others who are there don’t matter at all. She rests her head on Nicky’s padded shoulder, cocking it just slightly, waiting there, as Crystal’s eyes flash at the scene before them.

“…and may the best woman win.”, Gigi whispers, only for Nicky to hear.

[xsay10x]

I'll be my own Inquirer

Why so incapable of contemplating this constantly unstable mental state put up with it for a taste of what it feels to be understood for once but is it worth the risk I really need to think this through why I'm reluctant

to share my ideals and opinions tell people what my thoughts are open up with my consciences but cant quite make a coherent sentences so I just hide keep everything inside make sure nothing can come in from the outside because i don't care to confide in the ones who saw something good in me

Wow.. oh! really? what a pussy you see what I mean who talks about their feelings you just need to vibe bro it's not that complex just go with the flow let go stop holding on to the to the shortest rope with the least likelyhood of success

Success what is success dress up for attention have the latest model and nicest brand surrounding yourself with distractions procrastinating instead of contemplating how to be the best you that you want to be

But am I changing for me? or for what I was programmed to be just waiting for directions like the rest of humanity

Stop and take a hit just smile and laugh shut up and start relaxing your attitude is really taxing

How is it, that you can be relaxing while others are slaving away to pay their bills mountains that came from hills

Nah man here just take some more pills I'm not here for this shit

You ain't real enough for this shit just a cog in a machine a dog on a leash careful not to bite the one who feeds

Following orders and deeds obligated to represent reputations neglecting their just vessel a tool being used to confuse the masses they think their the consumers being programmed frequent frequencys colors and pretty flashing lights

Designed to have you mindlessly sitting on the couch smiling neglecting your brain till you go insane till you open of your pouch of pain meds now your addicted but not affected cause your drugs did their job of robbing you of your cognitive thinking now your a cog no need to thrive a bee in hive serve your queen that's not obscene

I'm not trying to instigate these situations I hate but I can't pretend that I dont spectate and sit alone think hold what wait try a lil harder to file my thoughts thought hard about it I feel myself departing no longer hanging I the branch I've hanging on for way to long

I cant let me lose myself cuz I'm all I got I don't care what i was taught I'm not on the clock

Still so unsure what the game plan is but I'm getting more uncomfortable with uncertainty

Let myself stay close to home dont get lost all on my own but still complete that dont mean I want to compete

It's not hard to see that I'm socially inept. I'm begrudgingly accepting the fact that I don't mix with society cuz a part of me has always wanted to blend in but in my own way

Cant even keep track of these days constant reruns don't need the attention I dont want to be in your silly little club or a taste of the sweet life I dont ever want to be a wife

I want stay true to me but when I'm obstructing my own sight its really hard to see who I actually want to be

I went to wander and roam free think for myself try to make it on own but now I'm lost in this labyrinth that is everything I fear everything i hold dear lost in mind and seem to find this part of be that seems to be missing

I'm no longer okay please stay away

I've created a tailored hell just for to sink further into insanity no I don't need help. I'll do it by myself just go away

Or you'll have hell to pay I'm I'm toxic but not just cause I'm sick of all this shit of adjusting and trusting for them to not care what I think

But they dont have to but I'm of hearing bitching from someone whose so insignificant that try to be something superior to me

Why cant we see that were equally capable of maintaining a stable mindset but I know it just goes right over my headset manically depressed or just obsessed trying to breaking away when something's

Telling me I need to stay to find that there will always be pain clean up another blood stain refrain from buying a fresh blade

At a masquerade ball try to find my way but feeling more like im looking in fun house mirrors facing the fears I have of myself

Won't stop complicating everything thing I'm saying can't stop arguing with my self is there really a war going on in my head can't stand the hours I set here laying in bed waiting patiently silently debating constantly switching the side I stand on till I fall find myself laying in bed awake again

Not know how I left myself drifting so long

Being shifty but letting things slip out of control and I don't think I'm holding on to anything but my problems can't keep my promises

I just want to find the common denominator to all this mental labor. But I trapped myself within these these conflicting thoughts

the way I'm feeling can't say just what I'm thinking cant help how far I'm falling

I wont reach out for help... I don't need your help. I dont want your help I just run away from everything right now

Why are all my thoughts consistently conflicting wont stop contradicting what I try to put my mind too

Always finding new ways to contribute to the progression of humanity

I won't stop obsessing I can't bring myself to comply even if I have to lie

Whenever I stand up tall try to make myself different from you all but the universe is so much bigger than us all we don't realize how far we're actually falling

It gets me wondering to where I just sit alone pondering the possibilities of so many diverse realities

The perspectives of everyone. are enough to confuse anyone

Making you feel so discombobulated used to think everyone else was assimilated

Yet it still feels like ive been searching for so long feel my patience slowly slipping away

As my path remain unclear forced myself to stay say I was okay not knowing what that means to me

I fell away blindly moving to go forward into life I thought wanted still struggling to grow up and deal what I've been through not knowing what seems right I dont know how much longer I can stay fight

Wanted so bad to hold onto the mistakes I've learned from but I fell down a rabbit hole everything pulling me back into the habits I want to let go of

I don't know how to move forward I want to go but part of me won't budge

I need a nudge feel free to judge me but who am i judging really why am i comparing all of these people? because I wont let myself see when in comes down to it the only one that i got through it all is me and I need to focus on myself cuz I'm all I have for the long haul but I'm still not ready at all

afraid to receive affection or look at my own reflection not willing to stop and check my agenda hoping to get enough high that it will distract me from my health and keep me from falling into this paradox I call myself

I just have to keep deceiving myself so I cant trick everyone and so I Don't forget to smile and constantly contradict and contort so that they cant see me decaying and semi consciously constraining what im actually thinking because its wrong to think about all the bullshit the majority's put up with an If you can't help but think about it

Just pretend like your okay because that's how you run in the human race

Still can't help ask why I alive? Who is this mask? I'll follow their lead finish the task neglect what need

To fuel the fire that seeds my Insanity

Because I am alright I'm doing fine

I'll say that I'm okay so I dont bare the shame of running away