#and i was like surely not… maybe the pieces i chose to consider a ‘single serving’ we’re kinda big but idk that still feels like too little

[latinokaeya-moving]

i had a very embarrassing meltdown earlier today while cleaning the house but then i went out alone to buy groceries and it was really cold and windy and i hadn’t taken a jacket so going through the motions of buying stuff calmed me down and then i got home and helped my cousin make lunch and then i portioned out the meat for the meals of the week to store in the freezer which settled me even more. i’m fine now other than feeling a little sad i guess

[redshoes-blues]

Emotional Time Travel: How Will Byers Controls Time in the Upside Down

"We are all time travellers, if you think about it."

Buckle up, everybody, this is gonna be a long one! :)

Over a year ago I wrote an analysis on the references to clocks throughout Stranger Things, and looked at how this connects to the show's specific form of time travel. This post is a bit of a redo of that original analysis, but this time I'm focusing on the idea that emotions have the power to alter the movement of time. And not only this, but Will Byers specifically has the power to control time in the Upside Down.

From the clock symbolism throughout the show to the time travel references, it’s clear that S5 is going to delve fully into the way the Upside Down operates; more specifically, I suspect we'll finally get answers to the question raised last season—why is the UD stuck on the day Will vanished?

I have some ideas on how that might work, and it has to do with emotions, which are described in ST as a way to time travel, as El says it best herself in the opening of S4: "We are all time travellers, if you think about it."

[CW: this will delve into the various forms of trauma and abuse faced by Vecna's targets in the show]

The Vanishing of Will Byers: Time Travel and Dimension X

First of all, let's deal with the obvious. The Upside Down, aka Dimension X, is a dimension that is stuck in the past. This is tied directly to Will Byers, given that it exists perpetually as the date he vanished. Therefore, entering the Upside Down is a form of interdimensional time travel.

To me, this could work in one of three ways, although a combination of these factors could also be at play here.

First, the UD could be a fixed point in time. A place where time doesn't work. It acts as a set piece, where characters can move around and exist within, but otherwise, it remains the same. In this case, it is quite literally frozen from the moment Will is taken. However, there are some things in the UD that do change. The weather, for example. Or vines that move and grow. So it's really hard to say how the fixedness would work. Perhaps, if this is the case, time is fixed and frozen, even non-existent, but space isn’t.

Second, is the idea that the Upside Down exists as a time loop. How long the loop would be, we don't know for sure. All we know is that the UD is stuck, somehow, on November 6, 1983. Maybe the loop is a single day long. Maybe it goes on for the entire duration of Will being missing. Either way, the time loop is certainly a plausible theory for how time operates in the UD.

Another important thing to consider is S5's use of A Wrinkle in Time as a source for inspiration, which brings me to the third way that time could operate in the Upside Down. Now, it has been awhile since I read AWIT, but there's an important concept in that novel called a tesseract. This is basically a way of travelling through time and space, to a fourth dimension. Looking at ST, this seems like a likely culprit for what's going on with the UD, which would be a sort of fourth dimension in this case. Vecna as much as says the UD is a fourth dimension himself:

"I became an explorer. An explorer of a realm unspoiled by mankind. I saw so many things, and one day, I found the most extraordinary thing of all."

But Vecna isn’t the only one to explicitly refer to the Upside Down as another dimension/realm. The government call it “Dimension X,” and the Party refer to it as the “Shadow Realm” pretty early on, an analogy to D&D’s location of the same name.

Now, I went googling for a description of the Shadow Realm, and I found this one that is very telling: “The Shadow realm is a realm caught between the realms of the living and the dead, a place where the boundaries of time and reality blur.” [link to article]

Looking at the UD, this absolutely makes sense as the location of choice that the Party (aka, the writers) chose to compare it to. As we’ve discussed, time does blur in the UD, and things don’t always happen as they would in Hawkins (there are strange storms, cosmic horror style monsters, etc.). Perhaps, in this realm, time itself doesn't even exist in a way that makes sense to us.

Now, going back to Vecna, we see that this sort of fourth dimension where time doesn’t exist as it should is exactly what he wishes to achieve.

On his motivations, Henry Creel says this: "Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months. Years. Decades. Each life a faded lesser copy of the one before. Wake up. Eat. Work. Sleep. Reproduce. And die."

Clearly, he feels burdened by the limitations of how time functions in the real-world. This is why, he explains, "I became an explorer."

Now, the Upside Down we see him enter is very different from the one that Will is taken to, and the one we see from S1 onwards. There are two people we know that may be responsible for this change in appearance. Either Vecna shaped the world to his liking, or Will did.

Maybe it's a both/and situation. After all, we know Vecna has powers and has been communicating with the Mind Flayer (who seems to be a sort of eldritch/cosmic god/force of the UD) for years. However, it is Will's vanishing that shapes the "time" of the Upside Down.

Will vanished on November 6, 1983, which is the same day that the UD is stuck on. This means that the Upside Down is inexplicably tied to him. Why it's tied to him is hard to say. He's the first kid Vecna kidnapped, and it is very interesting that he didn't just kill Will like he does his other victims: there's something different about Will.

I'll get into that later, but for now, what does this mean for Hawkins, where the UD is beginning to leak out of the gates?

As I mentioned previously, it's clear that one of Vecna's goals is to create a world that is "unburdened" by time's constraints. As the gates open up, we see a clock turning backwards (see: gif above), which may represent how time is slowing down or ceasing to exist the same way it always has.

If we want to get metaphorical about how time functions in Hawkins vs. the Upside Down and Vecna's mind lair, just look at the first sign of someone's Vecna vision, which is represented by a chime of the Creel house clock. For Vecna's targets, time is literally running out. Not only because they're about to die in Hawkins, but because they're about to enter a dimension where the passage of time does not exist.

"We Are All Time Travellers": Emotions Alter Time

Let's back things up a little bit.

Last spring, I was rewatching S4 to look for any references to time travel (turns out there's a lot of them when you go looking for them). It didn't take long for me to get a reference. In fact, there's one in El's opening monologue, as part of her letter to Mike.

"Dear Mike. Today is day 185. Feels more like ten years. Joyce says time is funny like that. Emotions can make it speed up or slow down. We are all time travellers, if you think about it. For example, this week is going very fast because I am so busy..."

In one sense, El's line here is describing how time can literally feel fast or slow depending on how we feel. For example, if we're busy and happy, time often goes by fast, but it we're upset, time can feel slow. Of course, I believe this line also has a deeper meaning that foreshadows what we later learn about the Upside Down being tied to Will’s vanishing.

It's no coincidence that in the season whose villain is represented by clocks, who is tied to a dimension where time is wonky, and who feels burdened by the existence of time, this opening scene mentions time travel directly. It's also important that El says this line. She's the one who opened the gate in the very first scene of the season, after all. She's also the one who goes through the NINA program, which is essentially sending her back into time (through her memories) to access her powers again. Isn’t it interesting that revisiting her traumatic experiences is what restores her powers?

If we take what El says literally, emotions actually have the power to speed up or slow down time, and not just our perception of it, depending on which emotions are felt. This bit about emotions is vital. As we know, the UD is shaped around Will's vanishing, which is a traumatic experience that he continues to deal with for years after it has occurred.

Now, this begs the question: did time in the UD slow down because Will left an emotional imprint on the landscape via his childhood trauma?

Again, it isn't a coincidence that Will's vanishing is the day that the Upside Down is stuck on. The "demogorgon"—which is pretty obviously going to be revealed to be Vecna—took Will into this fourth dimension, traumatizing him in the process.

All of Vecna's victims in the 80s timeline are also victims of trauma and/or abuse in their childhoods. Chrissy and Patrick have an abusive parent, and Fred has trauma from the car accident. Max has mental health issues and a complicated family life that we see in detail—an abusive brother whose death she blames herself for, suicidal ideation, a dad who isn't in the picture, a mom who becomes an alcoholic, and that's not to mention the inherent traumatizing circumstance of living in poverty. Will is also implied to have been abused by Lonnie, who called him homophobic slurs and turned into an awful deadbeat who doesn’t accept that his son doesn’t follow traditional masculine gender norms; he's also bullied at school for being different.

Each of these victims of abuse and/or trauma are all targets by Vecna. They have that in common. And we know that Vecna is targeting these kids on purpose because we see him sifting through his mind lair to select his next candidate. How does he do this? By looking at these kids' experiences and selecting someone vulnerable.

After Patrick is killed, Lucas and Max say as much when they discuss Vecna's motivations. To them, to be hurt us to be haunted:

Lucas: "It's like everyone Vecna targets has something in their life...something that's—"

Max: "Hurting them. Haunting them."

With this in mind, it begins to look as if Vecna is using the trauma and hurt of these kids because their emotions are strong enough to create gates, and therefore to alter—or even slow down—time.

Interestingly, the psionic powers of the lab kids seem to be impacted by their emotions as well.

Dr. Brenner tells the kids in the NINA memory to not use their emotions, but it’s One’s advice to El—to focus on something that makes her angry and sad—that helps her win the battle against Two. Brenner is so angry at One’s interference here that he tortures him for it. We know that Henry Creel was the original kid with telepathic powers who was experimented on. Somehow, Dr. Brenner learned to develop powers in these other kids, but it’s Henry/One who first received his powers from the Mind Flayer. Even as a kid, he understands that channeling negative feelings makes his powers grow stronger.

Before we look at why I believe Will is the only one truly capable of restoring the Upside Down to the way it was before, aka Dimension X, I want to dive a little bit deeper into Vecna’s targets themselves.

The Trauma of Vecna's Targets

There isn't a single main character in this show who isn't traumatized, hurting, haunted, or a victim of various societal pressures and/or forms of oppression. This isn't an accident. These themes are built into the show on purpose. Sometimes they aren't handled as well as they could or should be, but they're certainly present.

When we look at Vecna's victims, the reason they were his "perfect" targets is because of their vulnerability.

Lucas suspected Patrick was dealing with abuse at home, but Patrick never talked about it with anyone. Same with Fred's guilt about the hit-and-run. He's terrified of the idea that he'll be found out, so he never tells anyone about his visions. In the case of Chrissy, her own boyfriend has no idea about what she's going through, and she turns to drugs for an escape from her pain. If Max hadn't confided in her friends about her visions, equipped with her knowledge of Vecna and the Upside Down, then she would have had the same fate as them.

So, not only are Vecna's victims people who have something in their life that is hurting or haunting them (trauma, abuse, mental health issues, etc.), but they are also actively repressing these emotions. With this, I think the writers are trying to say that opening up about what you're going through with other people who care about you is vital to your survival and well-being.

Healing from trauma requires you to confront the emotions and/or experiences many people would rather suppress. I think El is a good case study for this. She is very clearly a traumatized character who is a victim of child abuse. Much of it is stuff she doesn’t actively remember, because she has repressed it, as we see in the NINA project. But despite her repression, the trauma, those memories, are still with her. She believes she's a monster, and she carries this guilt around with her for years. But El is also very resilient.

In fact, she confronts her trauma head-on in the NINA project. She relives her abusive childhood, the bullying she experienced, and the massacre, and she comes out of it a stronger person—even though she doesn't beat Vecna this time around, because she’ll require the help of someone else who is deeply tied to the UD if she wants to beat him.

Looking back at what Henry Creel knew from a young age, that his pain and experiences could be a source of his power, it becomes clear why he’s killing all of these traumatized kids. He’s doing so to harness the power in those experiences, perhaps because their emotions will affect the UD and cause time to slow down.

However, when El talks about emotions as a way to time travel in the beginning of S4, she isn’t just referring to negative emotions like boredom or sadness, etc. She also refers to positive emotions which make time move faster. If Vecna used his targets’ trauma to slow down time—originating with Will’s arrival in the UD—then maybe it is positive emotions, like love, acceptance, and healing, that will undo the changes Vecna has made in the UD.

Will The Wise: Why Will Byers is the Antidote

Will's connections to the UD are my main reason for believing he is the key to defeating Vecna. It began with Will, and it will end with him, too.

This is also supported in the text.

D&D always forms a direct analogy to the events that happen in any given season of Stranger Things, and it's through the lens of D&D that the Party describe the happenings in the Upside Down. For example, Will rolls a 7 in the first episode of the show, and tells Mike that "it [the demogorgon] got me." Later, the creature we're told is a demogorgon does get Will.

So, that's why the D&D campaign run by Eddie in S4 is very interesting, as it serves as foreshadowing for the rest of the season. An 11 is rolled first. This is a miss. It isn't until Erica—who is an unlikely hero in this campaign—rolls a 20 that Vecna is defeated.

It's crazy foreshadowing that an 11 is rolled, which isn't enough to defeat Vecna, in the season where Eleven is not able to defeat Vecna on her own, despite her powers being stronger than they've ever been. That's because power isn't the only thing at play, here. And we don't know yet who will be the Erica in this story, the underdog who will swoop in and join the fight, being the unlikely hero to defeat Vecna, but I think the missing piece will be Will.

It's like Dustin said in reference to his drawing skills (interesting, because when Will drew to solve the puzzle before, it was directly related to his connection to the Upside Down): "we need Will."

This brings me back to the main point of this analysis. If emotions alter time—with traumatic memories causing time to slow down, and causing Vecna to gain power—and if the Upside Down is shaped around Will's trauma, then confronting Will's trauma is crucial to Vecna's defeat.

Everything goes back to Will. To the moment he entered the UD on November 6, 1983. The very day the Upside Down is frozen on is the same day that Will's trauma began. By experiencing his trauma and imprinting those emotions onto the dimension, did Will quite literally grind time to a halt in the UD?

I certainly think so. And we've already seen a little bit of how positive memories can be used to fight against Vecna. Music is shown to carry positive memories and emotions, almost forming a shield around a person, as was the case for Max and Will, who were able to fight back through the power of music. If we take this a step further, it makes sense that healing from his Upside Down trauma, would work as a sort of antidote to Vecna, who feeds off of people's trauma. He only targets people, haunts them, if they are hurting. Heal the hurt, and he has no use for you any longer.

Functionally, this could work a number of ways. I think it could work by Will re-entering the UD and bringing positive emotions with him. Maybe the UD would reshape itself again, this time in a more positive way, removing the "rot" that has existed there since Will first entered. After all, Dimension X does not appear to be inherently evil like the Upside Down, it’s only when it begins to shape around trauma that it changes and rots.

Some Final Thoughts

If we consider that it was Vecna who took Will, then it’s clear that Vecna's goal isn't to kill Will. In fact, in S2, Dr. Owens asks Will if the evil wants to kill him, to which Will responds that the Mind Flayer wants to kill "everyone else."

Why? Because Will has powers that Vecna wishes to exploit for his plan. Because, by keeping Will and his strong connection to the Upside Down alive, he caused the Mind Flayer to enter Will, giving him the ability to feel what it feels—and later, in S4, to feel what Vecna feels.

My speculation, given all of the similarities between Will and Henry Creel, is that Vecna hopes Will will come to see his view as the correct one. He recognizes that Will is treated differently, that he’s an outsider, and he wants to exploit this to have Will join his side. Like the Emperor to Anakin, and later Luke, Vecna doesn’t actually care about Will: he’s manipulating his emotions to access his power. He didn’t keep him alive out of the goodness of his heart. He kept him alive because he knows that Will’s emotions have the power to alter time in the UD.

Killing Will simply wouldn’t serve his purpose of using his trauma to keep the UD stuck in time, grinding it to a halt.

Because, if Will’s emotions have the power to imprint on the Upside Down to the degree that he shapes the way an entire dimension appears and operates, everything begins to make sense. That’s why Vecna kept him alive: to continue his plan of removing the burden of time from the world. That’s why the UD is shaped around him. And that’s why Eleven could not defeat Vecna on her own.

Will controls time in the Upside Down. He shapes it through his emotions and experiences. His fear and trauma slowed down the movement of time, so, if Vecna is to be defeated, it only seems plausible that healing from his trauma, learning that he is loved and accepted for who he is—that he’s not a mistake—will have the opposite impact. By doing so, time will speed back up in Dimension X, healing it in the process.

In the end, everything began with Will. It was his vanishing that kicked off the story we’ve followed for what’ll be five seasons. And it’ll be him that brings an end to everything, as well.

Author’s Note

Thank you to everyone who stuck around and read this whopper of a theory/analysis! Writing it has been a long (but very fun) process. I started writing this about three weeks ago, as a rewrite of my old clock theory with more of a focus on how I think the UD functions, but then it grew into a beast of its own. I just couldn’t help it! When I get a meta idea about Will in my head, I can’t not write thousands of words about it lmao.

That said, I always love to read other people’s thoughts on these theories—it’s truly the best part of our little community on here. So please, feel free to add onto this if you have any ideas! :)

—Em

[infactmrmeowz]

Hello, I wanted to ask you if I could make a headcanon of the One Piece characters if they were the parents of the female reader and how they would treat their son-in-law when you bring him home, if they would interrogate him or not, if you could put Shanks and Mihawk that would be great, thank you

one piece men seeing there son-in-law

—

Part 1: monster trio

-

girlllll the way I giggled while writing this was insaneeeeeee best idea frfr + sorry yall for not taking every single one of yall ideas in my inbox ill get to you!!

context warning: cussing

Luffy:

“ WELCOME TO THE FAMILLYYYYY!!!!!!!! “ he said loudly, eeeehhhh he MIGHT scare him away 💔 but your dad trusts him! (Maybe) he will give him the ultimate father-son time together! He really likes your decision on your husbanddd he’ll probably say to you “ aahhhh you chose a good one y/n! If he hurts you, I will kick his ass “ 💞 but overall he’s friendly and not really extremely protective at all, of course he wants the best for you! But he we’ll share very embarrassing stories of when you were little 😬 “ SHISHISHI did you know that Y/n was drinking milk, and someone—- I think usopp— made a joke, and she spit EVERYWHERE!! SHISHISHISHI!!! “ ” DAD “

(The ultimate test to see if this guy is the one if he shares his food with him)

Zoro:

oh… girl if you bring ANYONE who is related to Sanji it’s over for you and him 😭🙏 he will NOT be impressed no matter who he is, that man is going have to do some MAJORRRRRR things for him to even CONSIDER accepting him to the family. He will give him the most NASSTTTIESSSTTT looks, glares, side eyes, just overall being a dick 😭 he will question him like he’s a damn cop, asking him questions not even he knows the answer too. At some point you’re going have to beg him to be nicer Lmaoo. “ So.. this .. is THE guy you’re going for y/n..? REALLY?? Are you 100% SURE about.. uhm whatever THAT is.. “ but at the end of the day, he will accept him to the family after he realizes how happy you are with him 💞

Sanji: uhm. Eh. Eeeeehhhhhhh… okay! He’s a bit.. skeptical with it- BUT he just wants the best for you!!!! He wants to see his daughter that he loves and cares sosososoaos much to be happy with a man! He would obviously be nice, and tell stories when you were little, he would NON STOP talk about you too him “ oh yes yes.. did you know y/n LOVES chocolate cupcakes? I used to bake her those all the time! “ he says, almost proud of himself. When sanji approves of him, he is of course nice to him! Treats him like a son he never had.

—————

AAA that’s it! Cya later alligators! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[fawnforgold]

| If I Killed Someone For You |

Pairing: Shigaraki x Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, No pronouns for Reader, He/Him pronouns for Tomura, Murder, Death, Grief, Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy on the hurt, Guilt, Angst, Reader scratches as an emotional response just like Tomura, Idk if you can consider this a happy end tbh, 1k words.

A/n: I love Tomura Shigaraki just about as much as I love making him suffer <3 This is also my piece for my Help Me, Hold Me collab!

Summary: Upon watching the news you find yourself having a gross realization. 

Tags: @auphelia @suyacho @tighnarly @fleur-de-leap @themovingcastlez sorry i've been such ass about tagging my pieces lately aoijdoaisj

You thought nothing of it at the time, it was simply another day for you and the League of Villains, but in the days that followed after it became truly clear that it was no ordinary day. All of you gathered around the tv, climbing onto the couch and grabbing some snacks and other various foods and drinks before settling in to relax for the night. Tomura curled up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist while he kissed your neck. Silently praising you for all the good work you’d done for him and the league over the past few days, and you beamed from his sweet affections, but that joyful moment was quickly shattered as you watched the television closely.

Watching the screen you quickly recognized a young girl that was being interviewed by a news reporter. She was crying, her school uniform dirty, tattered, and covered in blood. The girl wiped her tears away with her fist as she forced out her words in between sobs. 

“My parents w-were killed by the League of Villains.”

A picture of her parents embracing the young girl flashed onto the screen. 

“They weren’t heroes.”

Your heart pounded hard in your ears. Why couldn’t you breathe or think?

“They weren’t even doing anything.” 

Something warm fell down your cheeks. Tears? You weren’t sure and quite frankly didn’t care at that moment.

“I just want my mom and dad.” 

The world stopped. 

“They didn’t deserve to die.” 

Before you could hear another word from the young girl’s mouth the tv was shut off. Most of the league avoided eye contact with you save for Tomura who held your face, pressing his forehead against yourself in hopes it would ground you, and Dabi who watched you with a solemn expression. Tomura tried to get your attention, calling out your name hoping to snap you out of whatever miserable trance you were caught up in. You didn’t respond, not uttering a single word until Dabi and the League had slowly walked back to their respective rooms. 

Tomura looked deep into your eyes, using the pad of his thumbs to soothe your soft cries and anxious mumbling. Your eyes scanned the room frantically as Tomura shushed you, talking in a soft voice as to coax you into a calmer state, but it was a fruitless attempt. It came back so fast and you could barely contain the guilt and shame which overwhelmed you. You wanted to scratch so bad. Itch away at your flesh which was tainted with the blood of a corrupt sinner. You wanted nothing more than to rip yourself from your body, a punishment befitting of someone who so willingly chose to end another’s life. 

Maybe it was fate or pure coincidence that you saw that young girl on the television that day. Perhaps it was a realization that needed to occur, or maybe it meant nothing at all. Although, if it truly meant nothing, if you really had done the right thing as you had thought you did, then why did you feel burdened with such anguish? You thought back to when it had all happened, remembering the faces of the parents that had been murdered, and felt something swell up in your chest. Guilt? Anger? Sorrow? Whatever the feeling was it suffocated you and left you choking on your own questions. How could you let this happen? How could you be so careless? So destructive? So evil. 

“Hey, listen to me.” Tomura’s voice snapped you out of your self-hating trance. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. If you want out I will give you an out.” 

His voice and words reassured you that what he said remained true, but it simply wasn’t enough. 

“It’s not that. It’s just.. it’s complicated and fucked up, Tomu.” You replied.

There was a brief moment of silence before either of you spoke again.

“You’re not a bad person.” Tomura reassured you.

He pressed his temple against yourself and looked at you with a soft expression.

“No I am and that’s part of the problem, Tomu.” You insisted. 

He pulls away and looks at you with a sad and frustrated expression. 

“I killed someone, Tomura. Don’t you get it? I murdered people, people who had a life and family and friends.” You paused. “They were people too, Tomura. They didn’t deserve it.” 

Tears started to flow down your cheeks, and everything was hitting you all at once. Tomura understood, he was the one person who would know what you were feeling more than anyone, and yet, he had no idea how to make it better. Sure, he could hold you and rub your back as he usually did, but that would not take away the pure agony you felt. It would not fix what happened or heal what had been broken. There was nothing he could say to save those that had been lost. 

You frantically wrapped your arms around his waist, firmly gripping his shirt in your fists as you cried.

“It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me, Tomura!” You yelled, pushing your face into his chest as you sobbed. 

He said nothing and instead caressed the back of your head calmly. There were no words he could possibly utter that would carry your pain away. That guilt that you felt, the sensation of your chest feeling as if it was being crushed, would live with you until you were six feet underground. That he was sure of. Without a doubt he would try and try again to fix your problems, but it would ultimately be useless. There would be nights where Tomura would wake up to the sound of your hushed cries and quiet mumbling, and he too would feel a familiar ache in his chest as he realized that it was all his fault that you were wracked with such anguish. 

It was all his fault, he thought, it was always all his fault. 

[dreaming-medium]

Animals Without Direction

Chapter Six - Aye, My Lord

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Masterlist

Neither you nor Hyunjin spoke a single word to one another on the walk back to the capital. Even if he tried, you would’ve shut it down immediately. There wasn’t a single nice word you would’ve been able to conjure up to say to him. 

By the time you entered the stone walls of Miroh’s capital, it was close to midnight. Gone was the laughter that filled the streets. Instead, you were met with a close silence. 

It wasn’t eerie, but you’re sure that you would’ve appreciated the distraction. What wouldn’t you give to walk into one of the taverns and order yourself a strong drink.

Once you both stepped inside the keep, Hyunjin spoke up. “Until next time, Y/N.” His voice still had that cocky tilt to it. Truly, it made your teeth grind. 

Your fingers itched to connect your fist with his jaw. 

His farewell receives no response from you.

But, as soon as he disappeared down a hallway, all you could feel was the ghost of his gentle touch on your ears. The feeling slid down your spine and you shivered. 

He knows. He knows how sensitive they are. What he did was akin to him shoving his tongue down your throat and pulling your hair. 

Honestly, maybe that would’ve evoked less of a reaction. 

There were so many other ways he could’ve proved his point, but he chose the most… intimate way you could think of.

You should feel a lot angrier than you do. You should’ve slapped him, kicked him in the groin, ran your sword through him. But instead you leaned into it and let yourself be consumed by the shivers that came with the sensation. 

The way your body reacted to his touch like a cat curling around its owner’s legs. 

You immediately shake your head free of those thoughts. Enough. 

A deep sigh comes from your chest and you take in where you’re standing in the keep. Since you returned, you should probably check in with the Jarl if he’s awake. You can definitely find the throne room from here. Maybe you’re starting to get the hang of this place.

----------------------------------------------

To your surprise, Chan was awake. He was standing at the end of one of the tables in the throne room. 

He was in a simple tunic and cotton pants. The top of the tunic was undone, revealing a large portion of his sculpted chest. It was strange seeing him in normal clothes. The last few times you saw him, he had on regal, expensive looking robes.

The clothes he wore were still tame considering what you’re used to seeing nobles wear. 

It was also a surprise to you that he never wore a crown. 

His hair looked even curlier and more unkempt than usual. Did he wake up and come down here? Has he not gone to sleep yet? A deep frown pulls at his lips, he looks lost in thought. One of his hands comes up by his mouth.

There were no guards in the room, the only sound was the fire flicking in the grand hearth. 

As soon as your footsteps crossed the threshold of the room, he looked up in surprise. 

“Ah, Y/N. I see you’ve made it back in one piece.” A genuine smile crosses his face. “And you have a new shield.” He looks over your shoulder at the Shield of Absorption poking out from behind you. 

Even with shoulders on the broader side, the shield showed around you. 

“Aye, an enchanted one too.” You say, taking steps closer to him until you’re about five feet away, standing on the other side of the table. 

“A fantastic find, then.”

Sprawled out on top of the table is a map of the continent, Olera. The six holds of the continent are clearly labeled. There are several smaller villages and cities written in ink that you’ve never heard of. But the most interesting part of the map was the small flags placed on top. 

They were on top of military posts and forts. 

This was a war map. 

Most of the forts that were identified were in Miroh and Erbus, but there were a few in the other four holds. Especially the two kingdoms that shared northern borders with Miroh and Erbus: Bewaes and Inuin. But there were a few known strongholds labeled in Daefall and Upera. 

Chan made no move to shield your eyes from the map. Twenty four hours you’ve been here and he trusts you to see the location of his strongholds. Not only his strongholds, but the other holds as well.

Back in Erbus you could be hung just for being in the same room as a map like this. 

“How did it go?” He asks you. 

Pulling your gaze from the map, you look up at him. “Ah,” you couldn’t hold eye contact with him. A sheepish smile crosses your face and you look away, “I do not believe we will be doing business with Camus again… nor will… anyone.”

Truly, the consequences of your actions didn’t cross your mind until now. Would you be charged with another murder? Would he take away your room? Banished to the dungeons?

Obviously, this merchant was someone they counted on for supplies, and you killed him the first time you met him. Within the first twenty minutes of meeting him. 

Chan sucks in a breath and lets out a deep sigh. Out of the corner of your eye, you see his head roll around his neck like he’s stretching. “Did you strike first?”

“Nay, my lord. He slammed Hyunjin’s head into the counter, I threw a tankard at his head before it could get worse, it all went downhill from there.”

You gulped, ready to accept your punishment. There’s a stiff moment of silence before you hear gentle laughter coming from Chan. 

“I apologize, it is just not every day I hear that Hyunjin had his bell rung.” When you look over at him, he has his hand over his mouth. He’s trying so hard not to laugh out loud. 

The corner of your mouth pulls up. “I believe he still has a red mark on his forehead if you would like to see it yourself.”

That seems to delight him even more and the floodgates of his laughter break. It’s musical, his laughter. And apparently contagious, as you find yourself chuckling under your breath. His eyes crinkle shut with laughter and he leans over on the table and braces his weight on his hands.

It’s such a warm sight.

With clothing like this, his hair messy, the beautiful smile on his face, you would never realize the power this man holds. This man could snap his fingers and bring an army to their knees.  

He’s laughing while holding himself over a war map. That, in itself, is poetry to you. 

Eventually, after a few moments, he calms down. “Thank you for reporting in, Y/N.”

“Of course, my lord.”

“Please call me Chan.”

You nod your head once. “If you don’t need me for anything else…” you bow your head and turn to leave. 

“Y/N.”

When Chan’s voice calls out, you turn back around, a curious expression on your face.

“I know it has only been a day, but I am glad you’re here,” Chan states, his hands staying put on the table. 

“Thank you, my lord.” You nod, heat coming up to your cheeks.

“I know you spoke of a life back in Erbus…” his eyes stare deeply into yours, they’re so warm and comforting. “But it could not have been easy. Especially given the details you provided.”

Your eyebrows furrow as memories of Erbus play through your mind; both good and bad. Playing in the streets with other children, song filled nights in the tavern, but what you hear the loudest in your mind is the night that the city guard discovered your father was an Elf in hiding. 

Slowly, your gaze falls from Chan’s eyes, to the floor. The mirthful glint from your eyes fades. 

You can still hear the sound of the door to your cottage being kicked in, the guards screaming and calling your mother and father such vile, nasty words. The way it sounded when they snapped his bones, when they-

“Y/N.” Chan spoke your name so softly, but it took you out of that nasty memory so fast. 

When you look up, you see nothing but compassion written on his face. One day, you’ve been here one day, and already he looks at you as if he knows exactly what you’ve been through. Like he wants nothing but to comfort you.

“I know it must not have been easy,” he pauses, searching your face, “but you are here now.”

Your throat feels dry when you respond, “Thank you, my lord.” the words crack a bit and you realize that if you do not leave this room soon, you’re going to start crying in front of him.

“Chan.” he repeats in a stern, yet gentle manner. Again, all you do is nod. “Oh, before you leave.” Chan reaches over and grabs a small pouch from the table, he holds it out for you. “Your payment.”

You raise an eyebrow, “I’ve only been here a day.”

“Aye, but I pay all my workers on the same day, it would be a pain to adjust it for one person. Additionally, you did complete a job today, so it is not as if I am paying you for nothing.” He motions for you to take the pouch from him.

Hesitantly, you reach out to grab it. Chan reaches forward and grabs your hand with his empty one, forcibly placing the pouch of gold in your palm and closing your fingers over it. 

It’s the first time he’s touched you. The warmth from his palms spreads all the way up your arm. His touch lingers for a moment before he drops your hand.

“Do with it whatever you please.” he adds with that loving smile of his.

Your mind goes back to the market you passed by today.

Nervously, you look around the room, absentmindedly shifting your weight from foot to foot. “Am I permitted to go to the market in the city?”

When Chan doesn’t answer, you look at him. He’s staring at you with an absolutely flabbergasted expression. As if you asked him the most ridiculous question.

“You…” he trips over his words, “Y/N, you are not our prisoner. You can come and go however you wish. All I ask is that you report to me when I request you for a job.”

Your tongue pokes from your lips and you lick them nervously. “Aye, of course, I knew that. I was simply making sure, thank you, my lord.”

“Chan.” he repeats. Once more, you only nod. 

There’s a few moments of silence, the pouch of gold in your palm is the heaviest you’ve ever held. All you want to do is roll it around in your fingers, open it up and count each coin.

“Um,” you stutter after a moment, “I’ll be going then.” 

Swiftly, you turn on your heel and walk towards the door that leads to the closest path to your room– at least, it’s the closest you know of.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” he calls after you, there’s a bit of mirth laced in his voice.

“Goodnight, my lord.” you answer, a bit softer than his.

“Chan.”

“Sure.”

[misc-obeyme]

please share your thoughts about someone having a demon's grimoire and control over them, i am very curious

because my first thought was like, belphie makes his pact with mc as a way to never hurt them again after lesson 16. imagine someone gets their hand on his grimoire

and do the brothers share a single one?? I've always wondered that, like it'd make sense as they are the Avatars and fallen angels, except for satan. Like theirs had to be created when they fell right? Maybe their grimoire is actually a case that holds all seven together.

but if they had individual one's, why would that be kinda romantic to get someone's grimoire. like the trust that has to come from that is so immense. Better than a marriage proposal, that's like soul bond level or something. Imagine mc getting buried with it too if they die (i say if because i have lots of ideas about what will happen to mc and about their lifespan that i could ramble about)

- ✨ anon

Ah, my tags give me away yet again lol!

I just feel like there's a lot of stuff about grimoires that we don't know, specifically about how they work.

Sure, having a grimoire gives you control over a demon, even overriding any pacts that demon has. But does that mean you have to be physically holding it at the time? Or can it just be considered to be in your possession? Does having a single page from the grimoire work? What's even in the grimoire? It's a big ole book is it just full of blank pages?

I have questions!!

Presumably, the demons themselves can use pages of their grimoire to cast spells or otherwise protect the holder of that page. We saw that happen when Barbatos gave MC a piece of paper from his grimoire just before MC found Belphie in the attic. Belphie then cast his sleepy lethargy spell on MC, but the paper flashed with a blinding light and then MC & Belphie were sucked into the Little D.

So was that Barbatos protecting MC and lifting Belphie's lethargy spell? Was that Barbatos somehow initiating MC and Belphie going into Belphie's mind? How did he do that with only a scrap of paper from his grimoire? Why did it work if MC is not the holder of the grimoire??

The questions continue lol.

Anyway, I do think the brothers only have one grimoire. Isn't it the same one that was in the Underground Tomb in OG? And then in NB, it's the one that Solomon goes to the Fountain of Knowledge to find, only to have MC hand it over to Lucifer.

So it did sound like they only have one grimoire for all of them.

Which is kinda crazy because man if anybody got their hands on it...

And just imagine someone evil getting a hold of it... for instance, if we're talking about Belphie, they could really mess with him by making him hurt MC.

But if they did have individual ones, it would be pretty romantic to give that to MC. I like the idea of MC being buried with the grimoire, even if it was the one that belonged to all seven of them. Like, they know it'll be safe with MC's skeleton! Awww.

I also have thoughts about MC's lifespan and the possibilities of it. Just seems unlikely that someone like MC would stay mortal unless they straight up chose to and even then... they got too much magic and such at this point, you know? Feel free to ramble all about it if you like!

Anyway, the grimoire thing really plays a part in Arrie's story, so I've had to answer all the questions about it myself. Since they don't tell us all that stuff, I just made up whatever worked best for my story lol. I have done that with a lot of things for this story honestly...

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 3 replay, Normandy part two:

-As others have mentioned, how did Liara get her equipment on Shepard’s ship?

She left Mars on the Normandy. Presumably her equipment was on Mars and out of reach. Possibly even destroyed by Cerberus.

-If you go paragon, Shepard compares not knowing what the Prothean device does to handling a loaded gun.

This is the same simile that can be used in the ME1 side quest with the Terra Firma party; the turians preventing humanity from turning on the dormant mass is similar to preventing a child from handling a loaded gun.

Intentional? Or small reference pool?

-It sure is convenient that the blueprints for the Crucible have survived countless cycles when so much other knowledge has been lost.

The one piece of knowledge that the Reapers should absolutely want destroyed has somehow managed to survive the Reapers wiping traces of previous cycles. Every cycle finds them and every cycle expands upon them.

Yes, I’m sure each cycle took strenuous measures to protect them but this goes beyond straining belief.

-How significantly does the dialogue with Liara change if you have not done Lair of the Shadow Broker? I’ll need to look that up.

-What does Liara mean that Cerberus tracked her down?

It’s repeatedly mentioned in ME2 that the Normandy has Cerberus bugs and tracking devices. Cerberus should have learned the Shadow Broker’s location as soon as the Normandy traveled there.

-Feron’s conveniently an agent for Liara now, so he’ll never directly appear in ME3.

Game’s loss. He would have made an excellent additional shipmate. Maybe even squad mate.

-According to Liara’s notes on the Broker Terminal, the Therum expedition was conducted by University of Serrice. That’s the same university Liara got her doctorate from.

So they were fine with Liara just abandoning the expedition after the volcano exploded…? Spectre privileges, I suppose.

And where was everyone else, for that matter? The only people on Therum were Liara and the geth.

-I love that Chakwas is a single woman with no complexes about it. That’s so rare in fiction.

-Adam’s reasons for not joining Shepard are valid. Shepard could have been a clone, Cerberus is evil, and you can’t just up and leave the Alliance.

-Adam’s acceptance of AI is established here. His issue with Edi was that she was a Cerberus AI, not that she was an AI. Once he realized Joker trusted her he warmed up.

He also apparently never informed authorities, which is pretty significant considering the Normandy was to be Anderson’s model command center.

-You have the option to tell Diana to focus on getting support or Cerberus.

Once again, Cerberus is taking center stage despite not being the main villain.

-The Hammerhead was so despised that Bioware killed it offscreen in M3.

It was sent to labs to have the armor improved; they were presumably destroyed when the Reapers attacked.

-Cortez’s interest in men is established here in your first conversation with him; you can learn he had a husband.

Kudos to Bioware for not burying it.

-The conversation with James is odd. It’s a rehash of the one you had on the Citadel

On the Citadel, you can speak to him after the meeting with the Council. He affirms that Shepard was right to leave Earth to gather support. He’ll stick with Shepard because he knows it’s the right thing to do even though he wants to be on Earth.

Then in this first conversation on the Normandy, he asks you how the Council meeting went. After the sparring match, you can ask him how he feels about leaving Earth.

It’s like the scenes were written separately and the writers didn’t realize they repeated until it was too late to change either of them.

-James chose the intel about the Collectors over saving the colony. Renegade.

-This also disproves the oft-repeated point in ME2 that the Alliance was doing nothing about the Collector attacks. James’s squad was there to protect the colony and were installing additional defenses (according to the wiki). Most of them die protecting the colony and James retrieves information about the Collectors.

Cerberus told Shepard the Alliance was doing nothing to get them onboard; the reality is the Alliance was making an effort.

Maybe if Cerberus had shared information with the Alliance, the Collectors could have been stopped sooner or the colonies could at least have been better protected. But that would have risked Cerberus not getting the Collector base, and that was TIM’s real agenda.

-I’ll give James a pass on not recounting the events of Paragon Lost for gamers who did not view it. That was probably one of the worst events of his life.

I will not, however, excuse Bioware for not providing a Codex entry on it.

-I wish I could go neutral with James. I don’t want to flirt with him or be cold. I’d be fine with ignoring it.

[cr1mson5returns]

Unpublished Excerpt: Leaving Catholicism Over Identity

Consider that you have an immutable, inherent quality about you that impacts everything about how you see the world, how you relate to others, and even how you relate to yourself. It can’t be wished away, it can’t be ignored, and it comes out at the most inopportune times when others feel inclined to judge and ridicule and make light of you over it. When you think about the future, it’s shaped by this quality; when you think about the past, it’s always been there, even if you couldn’t see it at first. You never chose this quality–indeed, it came to you quite like a personality trait or a cat dander allergy–but people insist that you can just not do the thing and that you should, in fact, not do the thing so that your eternal soul doesn’t suffer in flames forever. In all of this, you’re left wondering why it had to be you when you tried so hard to be good, to be something else, and yet it never worked. You could never shake that quality that left you so outside the norm, so outcast and othered. You wonder, silently, sincerely, if God even hears you when you cry out. You wonder most of all if everyone else is right about you.

This is what it feels like to be gay in a non-affirming church community. This is what drove me away from the Catholic religion. It wasn’t a desire to do bad things with no consequences, or a desire to rebel against my family, or any of those tropes. It was a sincere search of my soul in which I realized that I couldn’t just not be a lesbian, that I couldn’t just wish away all the parts of me that longed for the touch of a woman. I had tried for so long to be interested in men, I had struggled for years to just fake it until I made it, and I had to realize that it just wasn’t possible. Maybe other people could find a way to ignore some piece of themselves, but for me, it was immutable. It was non-negotiable. It was also something that, evidently, qualified me as worthy of eternal damnation unless I followed a very specific set of rules that nobody else had to follow.

I understand very well that life isn’t fair. Two suicide attempts and many years of non-suicidal self-injury taught me that life doesn’t grind to a halt just because you want it to, just because you can’t take it anymore. But something in me protested at the thought of being celibate forever. I wanted companionship like everyone else had the opportunity to have, I wanted to be with someone I loved and who loved me in return, and I was supposed to believe that was…what, sinful? That it was a disordered desire in the eyes of the Catholic Church? I couldn’t hack it. It wasn’t an issue of sin; it was an issue of being able to live with myself.

I’m also quite familiar with the red letters in Matthew 16:24 that read, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” It seems pretty simple from the outside, doesn’t it? Every good Christian has to deny their flesh; every good Christian has to take up their cross, and homosexuality is yours! But the unfairness sunk in, and the lack of compassion, and the true misunderstanding. I could deny my flesh for things that actually hurt me–and I know that because I had done it every single time I ever thought about taking a razor to my skin just to prove how worthless I really was. But wanting to feel loved, wanting to give that love in every possible way, wanting to grow old with a woman who cared about me…did that hurt anyone, least of all me?

Sure, there’s also the whole thing about sexuality existing for procreation. But nobody was stopping infertile straight people from getting married. Nobody was revoking the marriage licenses of couples who sought out fertility treatment, or adopted, or went childless because of the struggle. Besides, why was the sex I was having or not having the dominant point of the conversation, anyway? The thing about being gay is that it’s not just about who you want to bang; it’s about who you want to spend your life with, who you love, who brings you joy and receives the joy you put out into the world.

I had tried so hard to be anything other than homosexual. I really did. But it wasn’t happening, and it wasn’t happening because it wasn’t possible. Maybe other people could watch a piece of themselves wither away in hopelessness and be fine with it, but I couldn’t. Is that so sinful in the end?

[lunadorned]

I’ve been thinking of some theories. These ideas tie in with the concept that the Maasverse explores the same world in different time periods, with ToG being the oldest of the three, followed by ACOTAR and then CC.

(Disclaimer: I’m just playing around with some thoughts. I don’t have the time to back up my thesis with citations at the moment, so the ideas presented are based upon my recollection of reading the books in the past few years. I’m well aware that I’m human and, as such, able to make mistakes, so. Don’t take this as a full-bodied literary analysis, just a simple thought exercise.)

I think that Rhysand is a descendent of Maeve via his father’s lineage. Those violet eyes and dark hair? A monstrous form? Mind reading and thought manipulation? We’ve seen all of these traits in the false faerie queen. And Rhys’s father had a penchant for cruelty—just like Maeve.

Which begs the question, who could have fathered Maeve’s line?

Consider who in ToG was able to step in the space between. Who was able to “winnow” before this skill was called such? We’ve got two candidates and both of them (unfortunately) had relations with Maeve: the wolf twins.

I think Maeve specifically chose the twins because they were rare among their kind and they had magic she did not possess.

Fenrys mentions at one point that even he’s not quite sure how his magic works—it’s a kind of ability without much information, and hence, rare. To Maeve, this would be a coveted skill.

So, okay. One of the twins could have conceivably fathered a child for Maeve. If that’s the case, where’s the kid? Why did no one ever see them? Did Connall have privy to that kind of information?

My theory is that Maeve’s child is the owl with whom she was often seen. Although rumored to be a healer, the bird didn’t exactly have a confirmed backstory. What if, like their wolf father, the child was a shapeshifter? SJM didn’t explicitly state how the shapeshifter gene works. A case could be made that the gene could be passed on without a specific animal being attached to it.

Even if the owl is not Maeve’s offspring hiding in plain sight, there are still plausible theories as to where the child could exist. Maeve could have easily hidden a child in her kingdom and manipulated the minds of caregivers to obscure identity. In this vein, she could also have erased any knowledge of a child’s existence or of her potential pregnancy from the minds of The Cadre, Connall included.

Maeve may also have gotten rid of Connall for this very reason. If she only required a child (perhaps multiple children) from Connall, not true companionship, then he would have at some point fulfilled his purpose. He would have become disposable, especially if Maeve wanted her progeny kept secret. At some point, the kid would likely start asking after their parentage. As a single parent, Maeve would have total control over the child’s life. We know she loves to be a puppeteer; she’d never allow anyone else to pull her kid’s strings. Or, maybe Fenrys is the true father, and Connall figured this out. Either way, Maeve couldn’t risk that knowledge getting out and making her vulnerable.

I already suspected that Connall was manipulated into his own demise, but the theory that it furthered Maeve’s hidden agenda (while also causing Fenrys pain), gives additional weight to the idea.

And when we think about Rhys in connection to Maeve, many puzzle pieces begin to make sense. His mind-bending abilities are unrivaled. He can break a brain with little effort. Rhys was even able to hide an entire city for decades. He shape-shifts into a monstrous form and struggles with this dark side. Sounds like Rhys has a lot in common with his violet-eyed ancestor. And let’s not forget that Rhys, just like the wolf twins, is one of the characters able to winnow in ACOTAR.

Mor, Rhys’s cousin with the same lineage, can also winnow. Yes, there are others in ACOTAR who have the winnowing ability, and that could mean potential mixing of lines for those families. It’s worth exploring.

Updating to add:

Forgot to mention that the word “Daemati” suggests these mind-reading powers are “demonic”. And Maeve was a demon/Valg.

Thanks for reading!

What do you think? Did Maeve have an heir? Multiple heirs? If so, with whom? Is Rhysand Maeve’s descendant?

[erabundus]

@monogatcri &&. said... A long drawn out day, riddled with tears and conversations he'd rather forget. Upon returning home, however, he'd managed to pull his emotions completely down, forgoing any thoughts about how he's blocked by Kazuha -- forcing himself to be jovial for the others. It's after dinner (it'd gone by a in blur ; he barely registered that he'd eaten, maybe he'd barely eaten anything), once Diluc had left to shower, he'd sat beside Ren, arms lacing around the younger to pull him into an embrace, it's loose enough to pull free from yet firm enough... Conveying three things, he hopes through this: he's here for him, there's no need to speak about emotions that aren't easy, and you're free to leave this moment any time.

he's  sitting  on  the  edge  of  his  bed,  still  flicking  through  his  phone.  the  streamer  is  nothing  if  not  meticulous.  he's  blocked  kazuha  —  no,  he's  blocked  ██████  on  every  single  platform  he  can  possibly  think  of.  closed  every  chat  without  the  possibility  of  reopening  them.  the  mug  he  (  begrudgingly  )  declared  a  cherished  gift  now  sits  in  so  many  shattered  pieces  on  the  kitchen  table  in  their  once-shared  apartment;  he  placed  it  there  deliberately  when  diluc  took  him  to  get  his  things.  he  isn't  sure  when  ██████  will  be  home  to  see  it,  but  considering  the  other  also  BLOCKED  HIM  and  ren  has  no  interest  in  going  through  shikanoin,  it  seemed  like  an  effective  enough  message.  a  metaphor  for  their  entire  relationship  —  something  that  was  once  treasured,  now  reduced  to  painful  shards. he cut his fingers picking them out of the grass, and somehow that feels equally symbolic; it's done nothing but cause him PAIN.

he's  clearing  out  the  last  of  their  pictures  now.  it's  taken  quite  some  time  —  there's  an  entire  (  ill-fated  )  vacation's  worth  of  photos  to  delete,  along  with  months  and  months  of  images  that  make  him  feel  sick  to  his  stomach.  it  was  fine  during  his  stream;  slipping  into  wanderer's  headspace  is  as  effortless  as  putting  on  a  comfortable  set  of  clothes  —  and  wanderer  (  though  he  may  flirt  with  the  occasional  donor  )  has  always  been  SINGLE  as  far  as  anyone  is  concerned.  he's  arrogant,  witty  and  unempathetic  to  the  point  of  sheer  comedy.  ren  only  wishes  he  could  live  in  that  persona  permanently.�� the  moment  the  camera  turned  off,  he  could  already  feel  what  feeble  scraps  of  NORMALCY  he  managed  to  claw  for  himself  slipping  through  his  clumsy  fingers.

they're  both  smiling  together  in  this  one.  it's  funny;  he  can't  remember  the  CONTEXT  at  all ...  but  he  can  remember  every  single  word  of  ██████'s  last  message.

a  flicker  of  white  hot  anger  briefly  cuts  through  the  artificial  apathy  he's  been  trying  to  smother  himself  in.  i  don't  have  a  job  where  i  can  simply  decide  when  i  work  or  not ...  my  work  is  also  my  therapy  in  a  sense.  bastard.  there  he  goes,  DEVALUING  his  career  again.  does  he  have  the  slightest  clue  they  took  equal  amounts  of  time  away  from  their  jobs?  does  he  realize  ren  didn't  necessarily  have  to  —  that  he  could  have  just  as  easily  continued  streaming  from  niwa's  place  but  deliberately  chose  NOT  TO  just  to  be  there  when  he  needed  him?  that his job is his own way of coping? of  course  not.  of  course  he  doesn't.  and  isn't  that  so  funny  —  that  ren's  feelings  were  born  out  of  the twisted  DELUSION  ██████  actually  cared  about  him,  when  he's  done  nothing  but  act  selfishly  (  hurt  him,  hurt  everyone  )  all  along?

it's  not  supposed  to  feel  like  this,  is  it?  he finds himself wondering that often these days. he  wishes  he  never  met  him  —  but  the  best  ren  can  do  is  try  to  pretend.

he's  so  caught  up  in  what  he's  doing,  he  doesn't  even  register  that  niwa  is  there  before  he's  already  being  pulled  into  an  embrace.  the  streamer  blinks,  thumb  swiftly  jabbing  the  yes  prompt  to  delete  the  picture  —  hoping  the  older  hasn't  glimpsed  the  screen  before  he  does.  ❝  good ...  evening?  ❞  ren  ventures.  the  greeting  sounds  a  bit  more  UNCERTAIN  than  he  ordinarily  would  like.  he  thinks  it's  evening,  but  he  isn't  entirely  sure;  time  is  always  a  bit  unruly  when  one  runs  on  a  sleep schedule  as  warped  as  his.  (  something  so  shaky  even  labeling  it  as  such  is  incredibly  generous.  )  ❝  i'd say the  stream  was  a  SUCCESS ...  i  appreciate  you  letting  me  work  from  here.  ❞  work.  because  it  is  work, despite what some people might assume to the CONTRARY.

❝ how was your day?  ❞ perfectly normal, he hopes. there's no reason for it not to be.

[compulsoryroyalty]

COUGH!!! HACK!!! COUGH COUGH!!! WHEEEEEEZE!!!!

“You do this every time. Get over yourself.”

The Magi stood over the feline and watched her. The “false” nun was now on her hands and knees, looking to have an especially painful time with the amount of harmful smoke in her system. Her sounds would be concerning to anyone who didn’t know her.

Or, to anyone who wasn’t used to this song and dance.

COUGH COUGH!!!

“If,” HACK, “If you and Sister were more proactive in keeping Mary in check, then I would not need to,” WHEEEEEEEZE, “Do such things every single time we meet.”

“What you and your five billion selves do ain’t our problem. You chose this.”

“Oh, come now Magi Lila,” COUGH, “It is only myself and Fleur, and you know this. “...” A pause, a moment to consider.

“Actually, young Ana might still be around--”

“That’s worse. You realize that’s worse, right?”

The cat shook her head, slowly rising up from the ground to stand. A sigh, a snap of her fingers, a pink aura enveloping her in less than a second. A bright, blinding beam of yellow light shined behind her.

But, as soon as it came into view, a white sphere slowly enveloped it, dimming and reflecting the light off of it’s surface. A calmer, more manageable white light took it’s form behind the feline, the pink aura dissipating off her figure.

Her eyes sprung open.

Crescent moons covered most of her pupils, a sigh escaped her maw.

“I do not get used to this. I do not think I will ever get used to this. “Must she ruin my body every time? Must I have to clean it every time?”

“Hey, you’re the one who went into hiding. Like I said, you chose this.”

“I am ever so eager to return to being Fleur.” She shakes her head once again. “How is Sister?”

“Fine. You know how she is.”

“And Laphoda?”

“M.I.A.”

“I can not say that is not expected. “I would ask more--I am sure I have missed much since our last meeting--but I,”

A pause as she looks over the witch, noticing her overall demeanor shift since she revealed herself. Foot tapping on the ground, arms crossed against her chest, gaze averted from the Mother of Magic.

“Believe that there is a more serious matter to attend to. There would be no other reason for you to waste a ticket on this, correct?”

A nod in response, the human witch wandering over to the nearest pew and sitting at it. “I’m in real deep shit, and I got a sneakin’ suspicion it’s your fault.”

The Mother of Magic shook her head, placing her hands in front of her and followed behind the human... though she did decide to stand instead of sit. Who knows what Mary has been doing on these pews?

... She knows.

She shudders lightly. She sometimes wonders how one can live in such a manner. Did she not take any responsibility for anything?

...

Of course, the answer to that is ‘‘no.’’ Mary’s modus operandi was fun before anything else. Had she been a different person, maybe she would agree with this lifestyle.

But no--there was simply too much to be done to live out life like... like that.

“I assure you, it is not,” she responded, “Whatever has happened here, it is the blame of yourself and yourself alone. As well, I can not have possibly been a culprit in your mistakes--my mind was locked, remember?”

A roll of the human’s eyes, “Yeah no shit. I’m the one that unlocked it, remember? And I’m about to relock it if you keep bein’ difficult.” She stared right back at the Mother, her eyes in a furious squint.

The feline hummed. “What is it that ails you, Magi? What could make you come to such a ridiculous conclusion?”

Wordlessly, a clock--colored a shade of rose pink--appeared in the witch’s hands. She tossed it over to the Mother, it quickly becoming stuck in midair once it was close enough to the feline, as if it got caught on a particularly thick piece of air.

The feline raised a brow, squinting at the off-colored clock---

. . .

“Now, I would expect someone under Sister to know spacial magicka, I am not surprised about that. “But... time, as well? How did you accomplish such a feat?”

“I only know one time spell--“

“And that is?”

“Time-lock.”

By the Gods, Lila.

“And how many times have you used it already?”

“This is my second time... why?”

“It is incomplete, is why.” A swipe of her hand at the floating clock and it continued it’s journey towards the Mother, as if it was never stopped in the first place. And before it reached it’s destination, she was able to catch it without much issue, her hand moving faster than one could perceive, “Preparation spells were never something I had mastered before my absence--”

“Bullshit.” She stood, pointing a finger at the feline, “People use prep-spells all the god damn time--you can’t be tellin’ me that you haven’t mastered something when it’s already in wide use.”

“Alright then, Magi Lila. Tell me,” she started, a frown on her face, “How it could ever be possible for a Time Witch such as myself, to not have entirely figured out something at one point, but for it to exist in another?”

That frustration on Lila’s face? Immediately dropped.

“And as well,” she continued, now pointing a finger at the human, “I would imagine it would be rather rude to go through another person’s room without their full knowledge, Magi.

“Has The Veil truly become that boring?”

The frustration was now replaced with a sheepish grimace! She took a hand to her hat, tilting it down just enough to hide her embarrassment, a light groan accompanying her.

A sigh, “You are an amazing witch, Lila.” She placed the clock on top of the other’s hat, and as soon as it left the Mother’s hands, it became stuck, “Surely you can do more than this.”

A heavy sigh escaped the Magi’s lips.

Just like Silvana. Only difference being was her anger was obviously more controlled. She was more... sympathetic, maybe?

Being a mother must’ve influenced her in some way, probably.

She turned away from the human, her white light now facing in front of her, casting a gray shadow over the witch.

“I will help, if you request it. “But only because I know my Lila and my Silvana would not be very happy knowing about any of this. “And in turn, you will help me as well. Are these conditions fair?”

“I.”

She stopped.

A sigh.

“Yeah, alright.

“Thank you, Madama Mystana.”

“Just Mystana will be fine, Magi.”

[ogden-narrator]

The cut of the stolen time capsule videos starts with a close up on Ida Clarke, the blonde wagging her finger before speaking.

@idaclarke:  “This place ain’t your friend.”

It cuts to black for a split second, before cutting to the next video.

@sassa-fiske: “People aren’t who they say they are. They aren’t who they pretend to be. Trust me. Nothing and no one is what they seem.”

And again, and again, as it cycles through what seems like everyone’s submitted videos. 

@anyaexe: “You’re here for four years, and from that point onwards most of these people won’t spare you a single thought.”

@charfletchh: “Fuck it.” You see her consider it briefly before lifting up her top and flashing her chest.

@leakywright: “Fuck bitches, get money.”

@snxwflxwers: “Do cocaine. Cheat on your finals. Sleep with your best friend's partner. Try your best not to get stabbed in the back, but I'm sure you will anyway. None of this actually matters, all your parents will pay so nothing ever ruins your damn lives."

@defavorise: “Don’t disappear without a trace and leave a bunch of cryptic notes for your peers to find. It’s dramatic and fucking weird and it’s already been done.” 

@sebmorrison: “My best piece of advice… don’t waste a second of it, because you never know when it’s gonna end.”

@ironlvngs: “This school is boring as fuck. So boring, that a missing girl from campus must have been the most interesting thing to happen to it since I started. And it's no wonder she had to slip and run away from here the way that she did.”

@aletheapierce: “Everyone you encounter has so much more going on under the surface. Be careful, be kind, and maybe spend some time exploring what’s there. Then maybe they won’t surprise you in ugly ways.”

@jacqui-velazquez: “Jesse made me feel like I mattered. And then it turned out it was all just…fake. A game for him. A literal bet. And once he won, he just ghosted. Even though I was…”

@jessehart: “I was fucking this girl who had a boyfriend for pretty much all of my Sophomore year. And I’m not sorry. It was fun, we had fun together. The secrecy and the sneaking around is fun. And you know what? I’ll do it again next year.”

@aceofportsmouth: “I’m just another brat.”

@milonavarroo: “If you manage to look around you and every single person has their back turned, you should look inward and you will probably find the reason why."

@court-mills: “I feel like I’ve gotten so addicted to the feeling of people actually liking me.”

@cinnamonfm​: “I’m overworked and exhausted. I’m constantly trying to live up to some invisible standard that I’m not quite sure I meet.”

@rhia-falla​: “I used to think I existed for a boy. To love him and heal him, to give him every part of me. But people aren’t toys to be fixed. It doesn’t work like that. All I did was break myself trying to be needed by him.”

@walshparker​: “How often do you run into your ex—a serious ex—after they’d hooked up with someone else, find out you were completely wrong about a person, bite back… intense guilt in front of a friend, and finally feel like you’re going somewhere with someone who really excites you? All in one night?”

@ollieinoue​: “One day you can be getting stoned in your room after a party and some scrawny little shit head from South Dakota will walk in and suddenly maybe you don't want to die as much as you used to…But I guess there is a lot of shit I still haven't told him. Like, I'm just really … Forget it.”

@dantebsinferno​: “I like fucking guys. Change that, I love it. I don’t care if they are in me or I’m in them, it’s the best shit.”

@rileyvander4rd​: “You made a big mistake and if you're smart, you'll fix it. If not, I guess I'll see you fifty years from now.... when I look almost as hot as I do now and you're regretting every life decision you ever made since the day you chose to view me as a commodity.”

@mari-zuko​: “I thought I loved her.” 

@pi-mimi-for-hire​: “Life sucks. You can’t escape it.”

@nataliavega​: “Since these look way better now than they will then…” Nat’s fingers bunched around the hem of her shirt before she lifted it and her bra up, flashing her bare chest at the camera.

@montyrichler​: “Ogden’s dogshit. Sorry you didn’t make the cut for Yale."

The video cut to black again, this time staying black for longer, a few seconds ticked by, letting everything the viewer had just seen sink in, before a familiar blonde’s face appeared on screen. 

“You see,” Greer Morrison started, eyes distant even with the easy-going smile on her face. “People think the way to get close to me is to let me in on their secrets. But they never once tried to figure out mine.”

“And god, I have so many,” the golden girl said, letting out a low laugh, the sound contagious, just as it always had been when she was actually around. “Like...for example, things are over between my boyfriend. Maybe he doesn’t realize it yet, but if he hasn’t figured it out by the end of the summer….” 

And with that, the video cut, this time turning to black for good, leaving everyone wondering - what else had Greer shared on that tape? 

[tim-hoe-wan]

In your honest opinion, why do so many people dislike Meghan Markle? I'm not even talking about the disgusting far right and the monarchist, just in general a lot of people find her unlikeable. Even my friends who I think are pretty level headed don't hate her but did say they don't exactly like her.

There's not one single all encompassing answer to this question. She doesn't deserve the level of hatred and vitriol she receives, but she's completely harmless. Even if you do have valid reasons to dislike her, it isn't worth it to dwell on it. I also can't believe she gets the vitriol and Harry barely gets any considering how genuinely stupid and entitled he is. That said from what I can observe here are some reasons:

Misogyny and racism. Internalized misogyny is real. But what's even worst is misogynoir. God forbid a black woman ever tries to step up or defend herself, cause people will be unforgiving, just take a look at Meg. Even if you have valid reasons to dislike her, you can't deny she is a victim of relentless bullying and misogynoir.

She's an enemy of the royal family but not the monarch itself. This is genuinely one of my gripes about them. They are obviously monarchist and have no issues with the royals who treated them nicely. Like ok, so you are willing to criticize the monarch now but let's save Lizzie cause she's nice to you? You still want your kids to have titles?

Lying or plain ignorance? From the Oprah interview onwards, there's just a lot of things easily debunked that you don't know anymore if these two are liars. Why their children won't get the titles, Charles supporting them, the Mandela comment etc. I mean, surely at least Harry knows these things could easily be explained or debunked, but it really doesn't help to give them sympathy.

The Cut Interview. This was actually the one that made me annoyed with them cause she chose the journalist, there was nothing wrong with the interview, yet Meghan threw the journalist under the bus for some reason. Same goes with the netflic doc. Even before it was released, they threw the creators they handpicked under the bus. These two seem to want all praise and everything about them glowing cause The Cut interview was handpicked and was a very good piece.

Those two are truly lacking in self-awareness and have a high opinion of themselves. In this era you'd find it very hard to sympathize with rich people. Especially when these two complain about things that make them sound plain entitled. Just get a regular job Harry. My dad also mentioned recently that Harry's gripes kinda remind him of Andrew trying to assert him and his children as part of the royal budget.

Speaking of which, those two or maybe just Harry, are close to Andrew. By default of course a lot of people would find that an issue. They're willing to talk against Willy, but nothing on Lizzie and Andrew? Come on Harry if William was the one who made a racist comment just say it. You'd look less ridiculous.

Tax payers money. My grandparents favorite gripe. Again you just don't know if they're lying or ignorant. Of course the people don't want to pay for your security if you're no longer "working" royals. Not even giving your children titles will save you as exhibited by Lizzie's less favored children and grandchildren.

She really is an ugly American. You know how everyone hated Emily's attitude in Emily in Paris? Like how Americans act like they're better? Like how Americans can find other culture and other people's rules as ridiculous? Yeah Meghan is like that. Even if I don't mind her disrespecting royal protocol, I mean sometimes her response come off as she has some messiah complex meant to change to system and it does seem she really believes that. But again, we don't want to change the system. We want to abolish it altogether.

My friends really love mocking how she still signs herself as the Duchess of Sussex. From my British friends, it's ironic and hypocritical and just shows in the end they're not your allies. From my American friends, it's ridiculous cause Hamilton is right there to remind you George Washington kicked them out so we don't have to care about these titles anymore.

It's a play of narrative. A lot of their words and actions seem to be they're the protagonist and Willy and Kate, not Lizzie or Charles, are the antagonist. I have no doubt the royal family is an antagonist. I just don't think Meghan and Harry are worthy protagonist at all. Sometimes I'm just waiting for Harry to say he should be heir instead.

Those are what I can think off. In the end I think it's valid to dislike or get annoyed with any person or celebrity. But I do not think Meghan has done anything to receive the level of vitriol and hatred that she is receiving in the daily. They're so easy to ignore and overall way too harmless that if you spend time getting so riled up at Meghan (not Harry, I won't defend his ass), I personally think that's a you problem.

[furinuris]

personal

Im pretty sure you don't remember this username anymore—even tho you were the one who made it for me, nor are you actively looking into how Im doing so I know you'll never see this but in the off chance that you do, I mean every single thing I wrote here even if it's coming from a place of deep seated hurt, resentment and anger, guilt and fucking embarrassment. im not sure why im writing this, I guess I just want to dump it all here for the last time,

At one point, i know —you loved me, as best as you could and it was amazing and freeing and healing. I never knew someone would go through all that effort to try and see me and considered me, and accepted me. to be loved is to be changed and considered and seen, and you, at some point in time did. And I'll forever be grateful for that, forever hold on to those memories and cherish them for they taught me the beginnings of self love. if someone as amazing as you could love me, why couldn't i love myself the same? And to be looked at with such affection despite me feeling my body was ugly made looking at myself in the mirror more bearable. I could finally smile at my own reflection. So i know it wasn't all this bad, yes?

you will forever have a place in my heart, i believe, and somehow i will always carry a piece of you with me. you dont get to love someone as genuinely as that and not have them be a part of yourself somehow. and so i know this hate will dissipate in time, but for now, let me. Let me resent you, as you have asked so many times before so i could finally walk away from this suffocating hold you have over myself. Let me hate your choices, the way you gave up, the way you chose to keep me in the dark at the end, and let me hate you so i may forgive you. Let me hate you so i can finally stop running away from this hurt that color my days gray. Let me hate you so I can finally heal.

You said so yourself before, you fucked it up —yes you did. I did not deserve to be ghosted for a month. I did not deserve to be led on that everything was okay, and that maybe you just needed the space for yourself for the boards. I've been witness to the heaviness you carry on your shoulders N, and I didn't want to, as much as i could help it, add to it. Im sounding a bit petty now, it feels as if I'm trying to wash my hands of any responsibility i might have had a hand in this falling apart but was I not good to you?

But I get it, people grow and sometimes you outgrow the people you loved. I understand, falling out of love is no one's fault—i don't blame you, nor hate you for it either, even if that hurts like hell. I do hate you for not telling me when you could've, for running away, for being a coward at facing the truth of it. For making me think you were needing the space for it (maybe you did) but knowing you could juggle being an admin, making new friends and even going on group watches with them while I sit at home hoping you're fine and the anxiety eating at me if we're okay or if we're ever going to end up okay or if you're doing well or if you're having a relapse or just.

I have never stopped you from doing the things you want and making new experiences, yes? and so please know, im happy to know you're growing, and making new connections and putting yourself out there. This version of you looks amazing. I just really wish you had the courage to tell me you were falling out of love with me then, it would have saved me this much pain. While you had the time to walk away and mourn the death of a relationship, I was waiting on you to comeback because the last time we talked we were okay weren't we? and isnt that unfair of you?

And haven't I been nothing but honest to you? Didn't I say, tell me if you dont want to and i will gladly let you go, as long as you're happy i wouldn't beg you to stay. If that was your way of figuring out your emotions then N, wasn't I worth even an emoji back then? If you couldn't stomach telling me. Was I not worth a single update; hey, i need time to think about us, please give me time and space. Was I not worth any of that? But there's really no point in asking now right? no point in dwelling because what has happened, has happened, and we both understood this was for the better (or atleast that's what i would like to believe)

I guess, I really just want to voice that truth out—I listened to what you said; Im not being pragmatic anymore, nor am I holding you at a pedestal. I am allowing myself to see things as they are, and I am finally allowing myself to embrace the truth that yes, I do hate you for this. I hate you, I hate how even after all of this—I will still find it in me to justify everything. I hate feeling guilty over hating you. I hate how I have to resort to this to take the step at walking away from you. I hate how I have to understand and hurt at the same time. I hate how, after all this, i still love you. I hate you, N. I don't want to, but this honestly broke me in ways I didn't know I could break.

You say, dont be a stranger because at one point before all of everything we were friends and you'd like to still have that part in your life right? You say dont be a stranger, but you ended up being one anyway. Maybe, someday, when I've made peace with what happened I'll take you up on that offer, but for now I do think it's best I turn my back for now. Im sorry.

I wish you nothing but the best, N, goodluck on those exams (I know, you'll push through it because you have always pushed through life and Im proud of you for that). I wish you'd find that peace and happiness you long for and deserve. I'm happy you've found newfound love. Im happy you're surrounded by people who love and care for you and support you. Happiness looks beautiful on you, it has always looked good on you gha. I hope the days are kinder and you get to enjoy and indulge in that pink feeling of new love and to enjoy your friendships. I will always be rooting for you.

Thank you, you were a wonderful experience.

maybe next time, in another life or whatever crazy ass astrology shit they talk about—we get another chance and maybe there we get it right, but if that doesn't exist well then it's been quite a ride ;)). Take care 🍊

I will always love you, in time that may grow into something less than it is now, but know that I will always have a space for you. (and somehow i kinda hate that too lol?)

-H

[plumblossomcafe]

Ch.26: Heart of Glaze

Warning: Cussing

Upon entering the Golden House

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Paimon: Wow... This is the Golden House? It looked impressive enough from the outside... But who would've guessed that it was even fancier on the inside... and so full of Mora!!! This is where all of Teyvat's Mora is minted, right? In that case, maybe they won't notice if a few Mora go missing...

Aether: Touch a single Mora, and we're done for Paimon!

Paimon: Ooh, so it's a trap. Tricky, tricky... Good thing Paimon's got you and Y/n here! But even if we can't take any, we can still have a closer look, right? Or better yet, take a nap on top of a mountain of Mora! It's like a dream come true!

Y/n: *has an unsettling feeling* We'd better check on the Exuvia first. Something feels amiss here.

Paimon: Oh, right! Back to business. It's quiet... Too quiet. Surely, someone's gotta be guarding something as important as the Exuvia. *noticed some bodies in a corner* Huh!? Aether, Y/n, look! What happened here?

Aether: The Millelith...

Y/n: !!! *quickly runs over to them*

Aether: Are they...

Y/n: No, thankfully, they're just knocked unconscious "You're intuition was right Aether, he's here"

Paimon: Uh-oh, Paimon smells trouble! Quick! We have to go make sure that the Exuvia is alright.

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???: You've already fulfilled your task as guides, so why do you still linger here? Haven't you already seen enough trouble for today?

Paimon: Huh? Who's there?

Y/n: Childe...

Childe: *sighs* If you were Fatui, I imagine that you would be entitled to a generous reward from the Tsaritsa herself. But now, you're nothing but dross — and you're in my way, especially when it comes to retrieving what rightfully belongs to the Fatui in order to fulfill her majesty's dream.

Aether: Cut the bullishit. How did you find out it was here?

Childe: Hmm, where should I start? Well, I've never been one to beat around the bush, you know. But who could have possibly guessed that the God of Geo would mysteriously perish the very moment I arrived in Liyue and that the Exuvia would subsequently be hidden away? If it weren't for that lovely little Rite of Parting ceremony you all put together, it would have taken me a whole lot longer to get the information I needed. Stopping the Mora mints, hiding away the Exuvia... Hahaha, the Qixing are really pulling out all the stops this time...

Paimon: So you've been planning to take the Gnosis from inside the Exuvia all along!?

Childe: As one of the Eleven Fatui Harbingers, it's my duty to see the will of the Tsaritsa fulfilled. She will get that which she desires. The final piece that was missing all along was with the Fatui for 495 years eversince her abandonment, training her in order to fulfill the Tsaritsa's dream, that was until she managed to escape from the Fatui's tight grasp, and now she's here with us in the same room

Y/n: ....

Aether: You're basically implying that the Fatui are not only after the Gnosis but after Y/n as well. I won't allow you to get near the Exuvia or Y/n.

Childe: Hah! I'm not asking for your blessing, and there's nothing you can do to stop me anyway. The time for discussion and diplomacy has already passed. I mean, if it were up to me, I would have skipped that stage to begin with... but I'm willing to do as the Tsaritsa deems fit. Either way — we now come to my favorite part. A simple pleasure, and one that I am oh-so-delighted to be sharing with you... The battle.

Paimon: Battle? So you're the type that goes looking for trouble, huh?

Childe: Haha, you could say that. When Signora offended the deities outside the Cathedral in Mondstadt, she swiftly left the scene once her mission was accomplished. Instead of confronting you directly, she chose to rely on the snow and ice to make her escape. She wouldn't want the Knights to come running towards the sound of battle, now, would she? When she faces a worthy opponent, she will prioritize her mission, weigh the outcomes, and consider the consequences of her actions... But as for me, the greatest pleasure of being a Harbinger lies in crossing blades with strong opponents.

Paimon: We won't let what happened in Mondstadt ever happen again! We also won't let Y/n go back in the hands of the Fatui!

Childe: Oh? So you intend to fight me? Good. I won't kill you, Aether. I'll just play along — to feel the thrill of battle! Besides, you could never defeat me. Not even in your wildest dreams. But hey, try to relish the fight anyway. Because if you ask me... without that, what else is there? In fact, I'm more than excited to see how far little Y/n's knight in shining armor is willing to go in order to protect her.

Y/n: Please stop Childe, Aether, don't listen to-

Aether: I could never defeat you!? You're completely delusional.

Childe: Ahahahaha! Fighting talk, I love it! Now, let's see you live up to it. Y/n, you stay quiet and put, while I show you just how strong the Fatui is and showing you your punishment for disobeying the Fatui and running away

Y/n: ....

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During the battle, the two fought hard, and the battle continued as only the clashing of blades could be heard until, at some point, Childe used his delusion in order to land a harsh blow onto Aether

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Childe: Not bad. Your swordsmanship is quite impressive. But that's about as far as you'll get.

Aether: *blocked Childe's attack with an Anemo gust and used a Geo attack to catch him off-guard*

When the dust settles, however, Childe is nowhere to be found... Only to reveal himself in front of the Exuvia

Childe: Haha... Didn't think you had that card hidden up your sleeve...

Y/n: *hurriedly runs to Aether checking on him*

Paimon: You were just playing us to get close to the Exuvia!

Childe: Oh, quiet down. Stop acting like some wide-eyed recruit. You've seen this world. You of all people should know... This should have been expected. *reaches into the Exuvia* Well then, I'll be taking Morax's Gnosis now! *pulls out his hand reveal nothing* ...Huh?

Y/n: This isn't good...

Childe: Hahaha... I see. Well, this is most unexpected. You... You beat me to it, didn't you?

Purple electricity soon envelops Childe as he undergoes a transformation

Childe: *retrieved his weapon* Not bad! But this is going to cost you! *smashes the floor, causing Paimon, Aether, and Y/n fall through*

Paimon: Aaaah!!!

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Childe follows to the lower floor that was covered by the rubble and where the trio landed

Aether: agh *about to get up to continue fighting*

Y/n: *standing in front of Aether while holding a sword made out of her vision* T-thats enough Childe!!! *shaking while letting her tears flow* I won't let you hurt my friend any longer!!! I've stood by long enough watching others get hurt just to protect me. Now, it's my turn to fight in order to protect those that I care about

Childe: Childe: Hahaha... I see. So this is where your rebellious side finally kicks in, I thought you long abandoned that. Very well then, I'll fight you but if you lose you will go back to the Fatui, where you belong

Y/n: ....deal....

Aether: No, *gets up but falls* Y/n, don't do it, I'll continue fighting!!!

Y/n: I'll be fine.... *charges at Childe, causing an explosion as Childe blocks her sword attack*

Childe: Too slow.

Y/n: *continues to attack him*

Childe: Your innocence is such a beautiful quality...sadly... this made you useless and easy to manipulate!!!

Childe charges at Y/n, which she thankfully avoided and throws Childe away using an attack as she chased Childe through the floor as the battle continued

Childe: *holding her blade in place* You were nothing but a bird who's wings were clipped and tied down so you will never fly from the nest.

Y/n: !!!!

Y/n charged her fist with a blue-colored aura and Childe summoned electricity using his dulusion's power. Their powers clash and Y/n is thrown into a wall, destroying it. Injured, Y/n looks at the ground, seeing her vision and a hairpin that had the Geo and Anemo symbols, looking visibly saddened as she recalled her vow to protect those she cared about the most

Childe:*laughs* Surrender Let the Fatui guide you, and the will of the Tsaritsa and your purpose shall be fulfilled!

Y/n: *shakingly raises from the rubble*

Childe: Tch, you damn stubborn bitch!!!

Childe attacks Y/n, but Y/n dodges all of the attacks while still getting some cuts but managed to block Childe's last attack kicks Childe into the ceiling, almost shattering all of the ceiling's glass. As her final attack caused the entire place to shake heavily but finally managed to defeat Childe, returning him to his original state as both Paimon and Aether went to where Y/n was as soon as they saw that the battle was over

Childe: *panting*

Paimon: Look! Childe's back to normal again.

Childe: Ugh, well then... time to cool off. It seems the burden of the Foul Legacy Transformation was too great for my body. I lacked the opportunity to think this through... And now that I consider the matter more carefully, you never had any chance of beating me to the Gnosis. You had no connection to the Gnosis, no matter where it had been taken.

Paimon: That's right! We tried to tell you we didn't take it!

Childe: Both of your shows of ability today far surpasses that of Signora's initial assessment of you both in Mondstadt. Especially, you Y/n, you were far too weak to the point where you always failed to beat anyone in a fight. Tell me, how could that be?

Aether: ... "Because I'm gradually restoring my former powers..."

Y/n: I don't know what came over me during that moment, I only remembered my vow on protecting those I care about, I guess that encouraged me to continue fighting to the very end

Childe: Aether, you already know the answer, don't you? I can see it in your eyes. But if that is a secret you wish to keep, I guess I'll just have to curb my curiosity. As for Y/n, I understand that. The battle has already left me satisfied. Anyone who strives as I do to grow stronger shall be called a friend, even if our friendship can only be shown in battle against one another.

Paimon: Pretty sure that's not the normal way to make friends.

Childe: Unfortunately, I must bring this amiable conversation to an end. My quest still beckons. Given the Gnosis wasn't taken by anyone, then we must look once again to the beginning. Perhaps it was never in the Exuvia to begin with. In fact, it might be that the Exuvia was just a diversion of sorts.

Paimon: What? So you mean that...

Aether: Rex Lapis still lives?

Childe: Yes, it appears so. Interesting to say the least... It seems that the guardian deity of the capital of commerce is also well-versed in the little maneuvers beyond the boundaries of contracts. As such, we must now look to our backup plan.

Paimon: Backup plan?

Childe: I had hoped it would never come to this, for the weak will be swept away in the process. The truth is, the world belongs to those who pursue strength. I seldom willingly involve myself with the weak. Unfortunately, we cannot be picky about our methods as Fatui Harbingers. Children must all learn to eat their vegetables sometime.

Paimon: So, what are you planning to do?

Childe: I will awaken the god that lies dormant beneath Guyun Stone Forest.

Y/n: !!!

Paimon: A god!?

Childe: Osial, Overlord of the Vortex, who was defeated by Morax the Geo Archon in the Archon War, and who has remained pinned beneath the waves by the Geo Archon's stone spears ever since. If such an ancient god were to be unleashed upon Liyue Harbor, defenseless without the protection of its deity... Do you think the cunning Rex Lapis would just stand aloof and watch the ensuing destruction?

Paimon: But... the Archon War ended two thousand years ago! How could an ancient god appear in a world now overseen by The Seven?

Childe summons a swarm of Sigils of Permission, which circle around him

Childe: Simple! I've already prepared the means to awaken it.

Paimon: Hey! Those are Sigils of Permission! Oh, Paimon remembers now! The Fatui have been researching them...

Aether: We saw your research with our own eyes. You've been trying to duplicate them.

Childe: Indeed. The one that was given to you was just a by-product of our research. With the power of so many Sigils of Permission concentrated in one place, along with that which was bestowed upon me as a Harbinger by our Tsaritsa... Breaking the subduing might of the Geo Archon's spears for a time should be no obstacle. Using the powers of ancient gods in such a situation fails to interest me and is largely against my principles. But knowing that such an action will not only force the Geo Archon to show its hand, but you as well... That makes matters a little more intriguing.

Y/n: Stop this nonsense!!! You have no idea what you're getting yourself into!!! The lives of the people of Liyue will be put at stake if you continue this!!!!

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Outside, a storm begins, and Osial is released

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Childe: Hahahahaha! Let's see — will the nation that has lost its deity be swallowed up by an ancient malice once more? If you wish to drown together with the people of Liyue You're free to stay and enjoy the show!

Childe flies out, Paimon and the Traveler follow

Paimon: Huh? He—He's already gone! That guy is fast... Wha—What's going on!?

Y/n: No time to think, we have to act fast, now!!!

They soon see the Jade Chamber fly by, towards the storm

Happy Birthday to me!!!!🥳🎊🎉🎂

[justjessame]

Babysitting Butcher: Chapter 81

The tragic truth about finding a career path that you feel incredibly suited for and one that you actually enjoy participating in meant that you were more than likely to accumulate more fucking leave than you could ever decide to use during your employment. Sad, but true, and what better reason to use some of it than because you were given a child to take care of - and so you don’t have to contact the non-human element of said child’s creation that you knew for certain was circling the skies or sitting in a fucking tree nearby watching your every move.

I really hate that I even bothered with the “yous” up there, when it is so obviously about me that no one would even be tempted to believe it was about any other sad sack of a human - or nearly non-human - than me. Fucking shit.

Rather than focus on how truly fucked my entire life and world might be, I prefer to focus on -

“I’m pretty sure that I didn’t do it right -” holding up the part of Ryan’s project he had given me to work on, I looked up to see his smile growing and a little shake of his head. “See, I knew I screwed it up,” setting it down, I pulled myself from the floor and onto the sofa.

“You didn’t,” he was showing me what he meant as he worked on his own piece. “It just doesn’t look right to you because Legos make everything blocky, and you’re used to seeing everything -” he squinted as he searched his vocabulary for how the regular normal world looked to squares like me - see what I did there?

“Rounded?” I couldn’t make him struggle, I just couldn’t. “Maybe you’re right, but I do think we need a break.” I needed a break, from blocks and squares and the thoughts ping ponging in my fucking brain to the point that I could barely think beyond just how fucking terrible my future looked. “What do you want for dinner tonight?”

Every single night I’d let Ryan choose dinner. Not because I wanted him to like me, he seemed incapable of not liking me, but because I couldn’t stand making even that simple decision. Not when I had all the other bullshit decisions to make - do I tell Billy and Joe just precisely what really happened when I nearly died, do I watch while Billy and Joe take out whatever frustration they might end up with (and let’s be honest they already have a shit ton of irritation toward the source of this mess), or do I go with the flow and just fucking realize that there’s a caped dickhead who stole everything from me and if I do choose either of my other options (or any other ones that steal into my brain when I least expect them) watch as Ryan is left to the wilds of Vought, the Seven, and his own father? So I hope anyone could understand why “sandwiches or burgers” isn’t really one I want to deal with.

So every evening, in the kitchen we’d eat whatever Ryan chose and that I made - because I like to cook and I wanted no, I craved normalcy, even if none of this was normal.

And then we’d watch television or he’d try to teach me how to play his video games and then before he would go to bed, he’d clutch me around the middle and I’d be reminded of why I chose this - at least this part of my life was a choice, even if it was hand delivered by Satan’s biggest asshole.

I knew that eventually someone from work would either call or show up - and I knew it would be at least one of the men from my romantic past. I did not think they would show up together, like some sort of truly fucked up intervention, but I was thankful that Ryan was happily upstairs with his headphones on listening to some “inspirational” music while he built more of his set.

I stepped out on the front porch, not because I thought Ryan wouldn’t be able to hear us speaking, but so I could separate church from state so to speak.

“Ronnie,” my eyes flashed to Billy’s face, and he looked uncomfortable for a beat, but my silence let him continue. “Heard you took time off and got worried.”

My head tilted at his announcement of worry, considering he hadn’t exactly cleared his little expedition to unfreeze a fucking nightmare. “As you can see, I’m -”

“Do not say that you’re fine,” Joe, of course Joe would call me on any bullshit he thought he sensed. Letting my focus shift, I felt a flip of pain at the realization that whatever he wanted or felt was going to leave if he knew - really knew just how unfine I was. “The Veronica Taylor I know -”

“Yeah, maybe she doesn’t live here anymore,” it sounded bleak, even to me, but I supposed he - no they - deserved the truth. “Maybe she’s been gone for a long time.”

I turned to go back inside, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me and I refused to look back to see who it belonged to. “Doc,” ah, Billy’s then. “Come on, tell us what brought this on -”

Maybe I could give them enough - just enough breadcrumbs that they could follow them and know, that they could understand why - “Almost dying and then trying to act like nothing changed -” I shook my head, still not turning around. “Everything changed.” And then I left them both on the porch and went inside.

Ryan sensed that something was different - especially when I didn’t ask him what he wanted for dinner and chose to give into temptation and just nuke two boxes of Hot Pockets. He didn’t complain, but I knew he was concerned. It was as clear as if he had a thought bubble over his head screaming “please don’t be as fucked up as the other adults in my life”.

So I forced myself to go back to our regularly scheduled program - television, video games, huge fucking hugs, and then bed.

Well, Ryan went to bed, I went to my office - it was time to at least pretend I still liked my job.

Sure enough, there were a huge chunk of emails from Billy, the team, and Joe - there were even a few from Mallory. Clicking through each, I could have rolled my eyes at the nearly identical words of concern - and I might have if the office wasn’t clearly so fucking dusty that it was making my eyes water.

Ignoring Billy and Joe’s, since they had their fears squashed, I gave simple and calming answers to the others - then I moved on to the surveillance videos I was still being sent and stopped at one that took place inside the headquarters that I used to have an office in, rather than the office I was supposed to be head of - watching as Joe and Billy sat and drank coffee liberally laced with hooch and zoomed in to see if I could make out what they were saying.

I was still trying to work through what I’d pieced together from my casual viewing of my two exes having a little sit down together - and no, I don’t want any input about how I was acting like a certain caped motherfucker - as I sat in bubbles up to my chin in the too big for one person bathtub.

What precisely could be worse than Joe trying to remind Billy about how dangerous all supes were and how we’d all end up in cages or some other truly fucking dangerous nuggets of horrible ideas? Oh I know, how about my stupid ass giving them breadcrumbs to find MORE reasons to want to fucking murder supes?

Fucking fuck. I wasn’t sure the hot water was helping to soothe any part of my aching being, but I also wasn’t sure what the fuck I could try to help.

And then, like the worst fucking self help aid to ever sprout wings and fly into my life, Homelander was squatting next to my fucking tub and offering his -

“I don’t recall calling for you,” was all that I could manage to snap, after all he was the literal cause of ALL of this. “And I wouldn’t fucking hold your breath for me to actually call for you any fucking time soon.”

He sighed, long and suffering, but didn’t leave. “Tell me what’s wrong, don’t hold back and I mean nothing back.” And when I didn’t jump to the chatting, he tacked on the word that was so rare from his lips, yet he managed to give me it twice. “Please.”

Letting out my own sigh, I stood up, shocking him since he’d only gotten to see me this way through walls, but fuck that. Reaching for a towel and taking great pleasure in dripping bubbly water on his head where he was still crouched, I used my toe to hit the button that would release the water, and stepped out onto the rug as I wrapped the towel around me.

“You want me to tell you everything that I’m dealing with and hold nothing back?” He looked up from his spot beside the bathtub. “Fine, let’s chat.”