#and i was alone at work for 5 hours while it was busy so im salty lol

[pumpkinpie59]

wow i love the 2012 hamato siblings

leonardo, raphael, donatello, and

uh

*reads notes*

ah yeah

karai!! :D

[cadykeus-clay]

.

[gentaro-kinniecom]

It all started with a cup of coffee

Characters: Fareeha Amari (Pharah)/fem!reader

C/w: modern au!, you work as a barista with lena (tracer), fluff-ish, suggestive, romantic scenes, Fareeha flirts w you <3, first person pov! [Not proofread]

A/n: I love women. Muah; Im still working on those love and deepspace fics..im just so busy with college stuff pls :,( anyways enjoy 😋

The coffee shop was unusually busier today, I groaned as the sight of the huge line outside grew with each minute that passed. Why did my shift had to be during lunch hour? I passed by the line of impatient customers, some angry at me (since they thought I was a cutting customer), and opened the door, my co-worker sighed in relief as she glanced my way. It seemed we’re understaffed today..

“What took you so long?” She asked, handing me my apron adorned with cute buttons, one of them being a pride flag, which people stared at it rather than me most times. Lena was regularly energetic, but today’s demand was so exhausting to the point where her usual smile faded in the back while preparing orders.

“Traffic. Go and take a break, you’ve more than enough have earned it.” She tried to complain about it, saying how I needed help taking and doing orders, but I insisted, giving her a slight push towards the break room while flashing me a smile.

Hours passed after taking customer’s orders alongside Lena that I didn’t notice it was already 5:30pm, we usually close at 7 but since tomorrow was a free day due to a small holiday event in town, the shop owner was nice enough to change the hour until 6pm for today. I began sweeping the floor and cleaning some tables when the small bell of the shop rang suddenly

“Would you mind taking their order? I have to take out the trash and finish up in the back” Lena asked as I looked up nodding and smiling her way before standing behind the register, not noticing who was in front of me.

“I’ll take a small cappuccino and the last vanilla cupcake” The voice sounded so familiar..I finally looked up to see my crush and classmate, Fareeha Amari. Her hair was messy in an attractive way and adorned with golden accessories. She smiled while meeting my gaze, knowing I had recognized her

“Fareeha? From Calculus class? It’s been a while” I said, writing her name on the cup and starting the coffee steamer.

“I’m glad you remembered, although almost no one in college now days don’t even take the time to know their professor’s names.”-there was a pause, she fetched her phone after it rang twice, apologizing before continuing-“I’ve been meaning to talk with you for a while now” Fareeha thanked me before taking small sips in between our current conversation. While I finished up on cleaning, Fareeha sat down, scrolling through some videos or social media in general.

When it came the time to close, she wished me a goodnight and left, then I noticed. She had left behind a note, her phone number was neatly written in her lovely handwriting. I quickly dialed the number, keeping the small paper in my pocket. Lena’s girlfriend, Emily, came to pick her up, they offered me a ride home but I decided to walk, thanking them while heading towards the subway.

In the morning, I decided to finally reach out to her after a long night of debating it. It’s all fun and games until Fareeha finds out the name her contact on my phone is. Nothing fancy, just ‘Pharah’, with a heart emoji on the side. Sitting down on the countertop, I reached for my phone, sighing while typing..

“Good morning! It’s Y/n, how are you?” As I awaited a reply from her, I began to prepare breakfast while trying not to think much about the text. To my surprise, my phone pinged, ‘1 message from Pharah♡’. I unlocked my phone, my heart accelerating within the second.

“Hey~! I’m doing good, better now that you texted me..by any chance are you going to tonight’s festival?” Oh? The question caught me off guard for a moment as I finished eating. Yes, I was planning to go alone however, if she’s inviting me, I wouldn’t mind.

“I have nothing better to do honestly, I’d love to go, why? You’re inviting~?” I asked, placing my phone on the counter of the vanity while going to take a shower. As I finished, my phone began to ring; Fareeha was calling me. I sighed upon seeing it was just a normal call and not facetime

“Hey, I thought you weren’t going to pick up. And to answer your question, yes, I’m inviting you out.” I grabbed my clothes, leaving the bathroom as I replied.

“Oh~? So like a date then?” There was a small paused before Fareeha chuckled,

“You’re cute, if you want it to be a date, I wouldn’t be opposed to it” Setting down my phone on my bed now, I started to dress myself before replying to her

“Sure~! Does 5pm sound good for you?”

“It’s perfect, I’ll pick you up too, just send me your address, see you” With that, she hung up. I then texted her my location; going on about my day until the time came for her to pick me up. A sudden knock on my door made me realize it was already 4:50pm, she even arrived 10 minutes early..I got up, reaching for the door and opening it

“Hi beautiful, you ready to go?” Fareeha asked, leaning against the doorframe with one arm as I smiled, taking in how good she looked

“I’ll go grab my purse, be right back!” While gathering my stuff, the realization dawned upon me, she was flirting with me, like we’ve been doing even before yesterday. I guess I was too distracted or oblivious to notice

“Thanks for waiting~” Our hands intertwined, walking out of the apartment complex, and toward her blue McLaren, the sides had a streak of gold, it looked beautiful. Fareeha opened the door for me, though the ride wasn’t that long, in 10 to 15 minutes we had already arrived to the event. It was late enough to go back for my jacket, I would’ve never thought it would be cold tonight. Fareeha seemed to notice as she quickly handed over her own

“If you were cold, you should’ve asked for my jacket, sweetheart” I nearly melted at her words, holding her hand while grabbing her jacket as we walked. I couldn’t help but stare at her now glossy lips as she applied some lipstick while letting go of my hand, only to quickly grab it as she smiled, eyes wandering from my eyes to my lips.

“I didn’t want to bother you” My voice was but a mere whisper, still, it made Fareeha laugh softly. We soon entered one of the restaurants around the block.

“Never, in fact, I’d love for you to ask for my things. My jacket suits you well” I nod, ordering a beverage along with something to eat together as Fareeha continued to stare at me, almost lovingly. After eating with her, we walked around town. She wouldn’t let me pay for anything, even with us getting matching key chains for our phones.

“You didn’t have to..don’t tell me you have a thing for spoiling people?” I inquired half jokingly, returning home with her. Fareeha’s hand gripped the steering wheel while the other rested on my thigh

“Only to people I really like..have you gotten the hint yet, or do I have to be more..direct with my feelings?” She teasingly spoke, parking nearby my apartment as I took off my seatbelt, looking over as she tried leaving the car. I grabbed her hand, leaning towards her

“What is it that you truly desire then? Go on, I’m all ears” A cocky smile appeared on her face, making me falter my grip when suddenly, Fareeha took hold of my hands, pushing me slowly against my seat.

“You hate it when I tease you yet..you’re out here playing games with me, honey”

“Okay and~? What’re you gonna do about it? Her lips crashed onto mine like a dream. It was as if tonight everything came to light. My hands caressed her face softly, leaning more into the kiss while Fareeha grabbed my hair, gently tugging it after parting away

“What~? Don’t tell me you’re speechless now?” I chuckled, my hand in hers; soon we left her car, upon arriving to my apartment, I kissed her goodnight. I couldn’t help but think of Fareeha throughout the entire night.

Months passed by, and I can proudly sat that my relationship with her has grown. To the point of moving in together a few months after she asked me to be her girlfriend. I was currently making breakfast, looking out the window to see the sky during the early afternoon. Hands suddenly wrapped around my waist as I smiled

“Good afternoon my love, sleep well?” Fareeha nodded gently, kissing my cheek while grabbing some orange juice from the fridge.

“Mhm, I never thought my dreams of having a life with you would become real, not that I’m complaining” She smiled, taking two glasses of orange-printed cups and pouring juice. At good timing too since I was done with breakfast. We sat together in the dinning table; Fareeha read the newspaper as I scrolled through some social media

“Hey, didn’t you say you wanted to visit the botanical garden last week?” She said, breaking the comfortable silence while taking our dishes back to the kitchen

“Yes, but, don’t you have to call and reserve beforehand? It’s not like we can show up without anything” Fareeha chuckled, after washing our plates, she went towards our shared bedroom and took out an envelope. Inside were two tickets for the garden

“You didn’t think I already planned ahead, right~?” I smiled, wrapping my arms around her as a small ‘thank you’. I couldn’t help but admire her eyes, the way her hair fell down onto her face…

“You’re staring..do I have something?” She looked concerned but I just laughed, kissing her softly, almost catching her off guard. Her hands quickly traveled towards my waist

“I just like staring at you, my beautiful girlfriend”

[cannedapricot]

oatmilk shaken espresso. || ldh

in which you dread heading into your weekly shifts at the coffee shop 5 minutes away from campus. between your inconsiderate manager telling you to lock up and the 4pm after school rush, you always claim to be a hair's drop away from submitting your two weeks. to make matters worse, you're always scheduled with a man who never seems to shut up. however, his one saving grace is his delectable shaken espressos, which may or may not be the single reason you haven't stormed out yet.

word count: 3.1k

genre, warnings: fluff, slice of life, one sided enemies to lovers?, college!au, coffee shop!au, mentions of consuming alcohol, profanities, one singular "that's what she said" joke

a/n: cracks bones im back from the dead with a university degree and a stiff spine. i haven't written in a hot minute so this might be a mess but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

4:30PM, WEDNESDAY - DONGHYUCK, RENJUN, Y/N

4:30pm on a Wednesday is the worst shift anyone had to work. Some of your friends would argue that the closing shift on Fridays are actually the worst ("I want to be piss drunk on the streets, not working."), but it was precisely because everyone would be out drinking, no one would think to set foot into the coffee shop on the corner. No students in uniform flooding the cramped shop, no office workers fighting the crowds for that espresso shot to get them through the week, and most of all, no Lee Donghyuck, your worst nightmare.

It was a known fact that Donghyuck, who also goes by his loving nickname Haechan, never shows up to work on a Friday evening. Even if rostered. One look at his social media and you would know where he's at on a bustling Friday, the student bar. This drove whoever was on shift nuts until eventually, the manager learned to not roster him for the dreaded Friday closing shift. Which meant, for you, Friday was bliss and you would do anything for that shift.

Instead, you were rostered for the closing shift on a Wednesday. Upon clocking in and donning the coffee colored apron, you were greeted by an annoying grin.

"Ooh, y/n, we're closing together tonight, you'll get to be with me alone."

You almost spun right around and left the shop at his teasing voice and grotesque wink. If it weren't for Renjun asking you to take orders because he has his hands full, you swore you would've left.

And so, with a deep sigh and a fake smile plastered on your face, you start another shift at your minimum wage customer service job.

"Welcome to Coffee House Aroma, what can I get for you today?"

12:30PM, SATURDAY - DONGHYUCK, JISUNG, Y/N

"Stop glancing at the clock, time isn't going to tick by any faster."

You scowl at Haechan in response, settling the mug you were drying down with more force than you originally planned. Your shift started at 6am today and ended in half an hour, you were ecstatic at the thought of leaving. Haechan, to nobody's surprise, showed up hung over this morning and was extremely confused when you told him he had to train the new barista today.

"Shit, that was today?" he had said, fingers combing through his hair in attempt to recall this information. Jisung, the new recruit simply stood there, flustered, as you felt the heat rise to your cheeks in frustration.

The entire morning was spent with you teaching Jisung the reigns of working at a coffee shop while Haechan spent it in the back storeroom, claiming it was helping his headache. Thank goodness it was a Saturday morning, which meant business was slow as everyone was sleeping in instead of making their usual morning commute. Otherwise, you would've decked the man in the face.

"Well, excuse me for hoping I can leave faster." Spinning on your heel, you grab a shaker, wanting to make yourself the signature drink that always managed to bring your spirits up.

"Making something?"

"Yeah, iced brown sugar oatmilk shaken espresso."

Haechan hums in response, eyes following your figure as you try find the lid of the said shaker.

"I'll make it for you today," he offers, "an apology for coming in hung over."

"Huh?"

"Don't make that face, you'll get wrinkles." He winks before yanking the shaker out of your grasp. Your fingers fly to your face in attempt to smooth out any lines that may have appeared, only for your brows to furrow again at the sight of your worst enemy producing the lid out of his pocket.

"If I get any premature wrinkles, they're all on you."

"What an honor."

Jisung returns shortly after the exchange, blubbering about how the trash bin outside wouldn't close, so you left momentarily to sort it out. By the time you come back inside, Haechan had finished the coffee and left it on the counter for you.

You take a sip.

He smirks at your reaction.

The stupid shaken espresso was delicious.

11:00AM, THURSDAY - DONGHYUCK, Y/N

"Enjoy the rest of your shift!" The glass door triggers the bell to chime as Renjun leaves for the day, having completed another morning rush. You wave in response before watching him dash across the crossing while the light was still green for pedestrians.

"He's in a rush today." Haechan comments, leaning on the till.

"Meeting with some friends before class apparently. I think he's trying to impress this girl in the group." You allow yourself to snicker at the thought.

The past few shifts involved you pestering Haechan to know what he did to your coffee to make it taste better than when you made it yourself. He always shrugged at the question with a smug grin.

"Maybe I'm just better." He'd say.

Of course, you weren't a sore loser or anything. But you've been trying to recreate the taste every shift you've been on to no avail. Haechan, being the absolute bane of your existence, would laugh at your attempts.

Perhaps he caught you staring at the shaker. Your co-worker strolls up to you and teasingly puts an arm around your shoulder.

"Missing my coffee?"

"Fuck off."

"Ouch, that's so cold of you." Though the words sounded accusatory and offended, the mischievous glint in his eyes told you he felt the opposite.

"How about I make you my shaken espresso again?"

"Really?"

"If you refer to me as "my beautiful angel of a co-worker Hyuckie" I'll consider it."

"Nevermind, I'll figure it out myself."

9:00AM, SUNDAY - JISUNG, RENJUN, Y/N

Sometimes, you really admire Renjun's ability to be able to open the shop on time. He always seemed to prefer opening shifts. 5:00am wasn't the ideal starting time but somehow, Renjun is always there fully awake and greeting you with a bright smile.

You, on the other hand, showed up with messy hair, bags under your eyes, and a crumpled shirt. The iconic underpaid and overworked college student look. It didn't help that you stayed up late the night before to finish a five page essay. You must've looked like you just rose from the dead because when Jisung came in at 6:00am on the dot, he asked,

"Are you feeling alright?"

Yeah, you were never agreeing to a 5:00am shift ever again. At least it was a short shift, because in an hour, you got to leave with big plans for the day ahead (a nap).

"Y/n, could you clean the table by the window please?"

With a cleaning rag and a spray bottle as your chosen weapons, you find your way to the said table under Renjun's instructions. Only a few crumbs, a glass, and a plate to clean. That's not bad at all, you've had much worse.

You hummed a happy tune as you stacked the mug and dish. Once you overlook the inhuman starting time, the shift wasn't so bad. You had your two favorite co-workers with you, the only people in on a Sunday morning were gossiping middle aged ladies, and you got the whole day ahead to do whatever you wanted.

This small bit of happiness lasted until you looked up and out the window, making direct eye contact with Haechan, who was on the opposite side of the street, waiting for the signal to cross.

So much for a peaceful morning.

"Good morning- oh y/n, you look terrible."

"This is my normal face what do you mean?"

"Terribly nice!"

Jisung stifles a giggle at the exchange and you look at him, betrayed.

"Haechan, you're here early. Your shift doesn't start until 10." Renjun double checks the time as Haechan moves behind the counter to give the opener a hug.

Which was obviously dodged.

"My 8am class finished early so I thought I'd drop by and check on my favorite people."

A scowl found its way onto your face at his statement and your stomach threatened to empty the croissant you ate an hour prior.

"Well, since Haechan's here early, y/n, you can finish early. Remember to clock out."

With sigh of relief and a high five with Jisung, you happily moved to the locker room to take your apron off.

"Alright, I'll be going for the day then- whose drink is this?" A cup of coffee on the counter catches your eye as you bid farewell.

"Oh, Haechan said it's for you."

An oatmilk shaken espresso.

7:30PM, TUESDAY - DONGHYUCK, MARK

No matter how much you tried to convince yourself the opposite, you couldn't deny that Coffee House Aroma was the perfect place to study. Not only was it only a five minute walk from campus, as staff, you get free coffee. Which meant unlimited refills as you slave over your final assignments before Christmas break.

The scent of coffee being brewed, the sound of rain hitting the windows, the fireplace crackling from the 12 hour long video on Youtube, was there anything more perfect?

Though you admit, you forgot that Haechan and his best buddy, Mark, would be on shift today. So periodically, you would hear giggles coming from behind the counter.

"Hey y/n, listen to this, Mark said his lecturer gave him extra marks for the embarrassing lyrics he wrote on the back of his test sheet." Haechan makes himself comfortable in the seat opposite yours as Mark throws a paper straw at him jokingly.

"It was for a creative writing class alright? It somewhat makes sense to get extra points for that."

"Why do you have tests for creative writing? What are they testing you on?"

"To be honest, I have no idea - and I took the test."

The boys burst into a fit of giggles again as you simply roll your eyes and return to your studies.

"I see that smile on your face, y/n. It's alright, you can laugh. You don't have to be cold to me all the time you know."

"I'm not cold to you all the time. Only when you're being insufferable."

"So all the time." Mark comments, disregarding Haechan's fake pained expression and presenting a slice of cake in front of you.

"New cake the managers said we'd be selling from next week. Of course, we're special so we get to taste it beforehand."

"Don't mind if I do."

"Hyuck, you've already had your slice, this one's for y/n."

You stuck your tongue out in flaunt before taking a bite of the dessert, watching as the man in front of you pouts.

"This is good! It's the perfect cake to go alongside coffee."

"Sounds like someone wants the Haechan special shaken espresso."

"You're being insufferable."

After letting out a fake cry, Haechan dramatically runs behind the counter, probably to seek comfort from his friend. You shake you head before letting yourself be swept away by the lullaby that is your lecture recording with a small smile on your face.

9:00PM, FRIDAY - DONGHYUCK, Y/N

Upon looking at the roster earlier that week, you nearly cried out of joy seeing that you were assigned to Friday's closing shift. Even better that they rostered Haechan with you, because he most definitely wasn't showing up.

You loved being the only one behind the counter at a closing shift. You loved watching the customers and guessing the reason as to why they're at a coffee shop late at night. The quiet whispers and giggles from the loving couple that's enjoying a date, the student frantically scribbling exam notes, tight grip on their pen, the group of cheerleaders after a game, chattering about their win. There was so much happening, yet not much at all. You loved it.

The door swings open, bell chiming, letting a cool breeze into the warm shop.

"Welcome to Coffee House Aroma- oh."

"Pleased to see me?"

His usual cocky grin plastered on his face, Haechan crosses his arms and leans against the counter separating the two of you. Clad in a leather jacket and gel in his hair, it was evident he had planned to be someplace else.

"Aren't you supposed to be at a bar somewhere?"

"How could I be drinking when I'm rostered on for tonight?"

"Haechan, be real, you never show up on Friday nights. Why are you here?"

"I missed you." He says, teasing laced in his voice. You turn away from him in embarrasment and scoff. Part of you assumed he was drunk and got seperated from his friends, but you couldn't smell alcohol on him at all.

"Well, you're about," you check the time, "five hours late. We close in an hour."

"Better late than never. I'll make your favorite drink in apology."

Before you could come up with a clever response, Haechan jumps over the counter (thank goodness it was clear of anything) and grabs a shaker.

"Also, you live on campus, yeah?" He asks, grinding beans into the portafilter.

"Yeah, why?"

"I'll walk you home."

5:30PM, MONDAY - DONGHYUCK, MARK, Y/N

"Caramel Frappuccino for, uh, Shohei?"

Monday was nobody's favorite. Back to classes, back to work, back to the coffee shop rush hour. The three of you on shift at Coffee House Aroma were extremely busy. Mark was manning the till while you and Donghyuck were flying on your feet, making sure the orders were made and sent out.

It was always during rush time that you see a side to Donghyuck you usually don't see. A focused and serious Donghyuck who did his work efficiently without any extra steps. You didn't mind this polar opposite side to him. In fact, it made for good marks in your books. Though you would rather die than to admit that you miss his teasing when he passes you on the floor.

"Ugh." You let your head fall into your arms at the counter. The rush had died down and the three of you finally got to take a breather.

"I can't anymore, I'm going on break." Donghyuck drags himself to the break room, groaning dramatically, per usual.

"So dramatic." You mutter under your breath. You then turn around to do some dishes piling in the sink only to bump into a smirking Mark.

"So... What's up with you two?"

"What do you mean?"

"I can't help but notice that you're calling him by his actual name rather than "Haechan" these days."

Your ears suddenly feel hot and ticklish.

"Well, Donghyuck's his name isn't it? It's not weird for me to call him that."

Mark hums, an eyebrow raised while you shuffle past, eyes on the tiled ground.

"He didn't drink and left early last Friday. Said he had to take someone home. Know what that's about?"

Last Friday? He showed up to a shift he never shows up to and walked you home.

Oh.

"And I also heard about that time he made you your favorite coffee after hearing about how tired you were." your co-worker didn't even try to hide his intentions, "Renjun told me."

"You should check on him. I heard sudden changes in personality isn't good news."

Mark says nothing, a grin etched on his face. Instead, he messages Renjun.

"There's definitely something going on."

"I told you so."

4:30PM, WEDNESDAY - DONGHYUCK, RENJUN, Y/N

Wish as you may, the shift you dread will always come rolling around in the end. Yet again, you find yourself behind the counter at Coffee House Aroma, the clock hitting 4:30pm with a familiar annoying presence by your side. Renjun called in sick, you don't blame him - the storm was raging outside, you wouldn't want to get caught in that either. But thanks to the buckets of rain, the coffee shop was quiet. Everyone was rushing to get to the warmth of their homes, no one even thinking about stopping by for coffee.

"The rain doesn't look like it's going to stop any time soon." Donghyuck says, chewing on the straw to his drink. You sigh, glancing at the clouds through the glass.

"Hopefully it at least gets lighter around 10 - I really don't want to get wet on my way back."

"That's what she said."

His joke was met with a glare.

"You set it up, not me."

The shop was empty, save from the two of you. Both of you were leaning against the counter in boredom and you were doubtful that any customers would brave the thunder and lightning for a cup coffee.

"Do you think we can get away with closing early?"

"As if, you know how our manager's like."

It was true, your manager never, under any circumstance, closed the shop early. There could be a volcano eruption and he'd tell you to keep the shop open in case anyone wanted coffee.

"Aren't you glad to be stuck here with me?" Donghyuck had his signature smile on his face as he asks, "I am one of the most attractive individuals on campus you know?"

"Said who?" You retort, playful scowl on your face.

"Renjun."

"I'm positive that was a sarcastic remark."

He laughs and a calm silence settles over the two of you. It's funny how things turn out. A couple of weeks ago you would've sworn you'd be at his throat by now.

"Why? You don't think I'm one of the most attractive individuals you've laid your eyes on?" He teases, tilting his head to one side.

"I never said that."

Donghyuck was taken aback. He didn't expect this from you, heck, you didn't expect this from yourself.

"So you think I'm hot."

"Maybe. A little. I mostly think you're insufferable."

He chuckles.

"You want to date me so bad right now."

Indignantly, you serve your head to give him a good glare, only to find him closer than you were expecting. Did he always leave the top button to his polo unbuttoned?

"Wanna skip the rest of our shift and go on a date instead?"

"In this rain?" You ask, glancing at the pouring rain.

"I've been chasing you ever since you started working at this establishment, I'm not letting a thunderstorm stop me. Besides, dancing in the rain's romantic, right?"

A smile threatened to creep onto your flushed face. Your stupid co-worker had his stupid smirk on while looking straight at you.

"Tell me what you put into your oatmilk shaken espressos then I'll consider it."

"My love for you."

"You're disgusting." You say, closing the till with a smile on your face.

[1800-page-not-found]

Okay sooo I’m a big lazy perfectionist soooo

How about Lisa,Layla,Faruzan trying to make me go outside for non-perfectionist reasons

Look up for females

Pick one and have fun with it

Look down for the males

How about Albedo,Tighnari,Venti trying to make me go outside for non-perfectionist reasons

(seperate) Lisa, Layla, Faruzan x lazy perfectionist reader

Summary: They drag your ass out (im sorry i still dont really understand but i tried 〒v〒)

Lisa sighed. You were being very difficult. Here you were, sitting on a chair attempting to correct your mistake. From an outsider point of view, your painting was a complete masterpiece but to you, it was absolute shit. You could see every single wrong on it. "Cutie, if you don't go on a stroll with me to collect overdue books, I will zap you." she said in a sweetly menacing tone.

You freaked out. "I-I can't! Don't you see? This flower here is too dark compared to the others!" you had run out of your paint color that you mixed earlier and tried attempting to recreate the same color, but it was either too dark or too light. It was very stressful.

"OW! Lisa! stop shocking me!" you cried in pain. Lisa was beyond pissed at this point. She grabbed you by the collar and started dragging you out the door as you clung to your chair. "NooOoOo Lisaaaaa.." you sobbed as she dragged you outside. Finally letting go of you, she turned around and crossed her arms, furious.

"Maybe i should leave you here hmm? Do you want that?"

"No..."

"Then be a sweetheart and help me collect overdue books"

"Its too far..." you groaned.

"I wasn't asking" she smiled in yet again, a menacing voice.

This time, you could see sparks practically radiating from her. Scary... maybe it wouldnt hurt doing this right?.. plus you're doing this with her so it can't be that bad...

You got to see an even more terrifying side of her when someone didn't return their book.

Layla had fallen asleep while you on the other side of the room was busy finalizing a report in your astronomy class. You too were studying in the field of Illuminationism, and you were finalizing a report due the next day. You sighed. You've been at this for more than two whole hours and you couldn't think of how to wrap your essay up. You had a decent grade (I'm not sure how the Greece grading system works since the Akademiya is based off an ancient school in Greece i think), but you still wanted to push it higher. studying just took so much work and energy. You're still way above average so its good enough.

Someone, who you assumed was Layla (since she's the only person in the room with you, that'd be weird if it wasn't), tapped your shoulder excitedly. Ah right. She had this different persona whenever she slept. it was a bit odd at first but you got used to it. "Yes Layla?" you turned to her.

She was staring a bit too much at you as she smiled. "Lets go out on a walk!" she exclaimed. Now?? at 1 in the morning? You raised an eyebrow. "Layla, its too dark outside, what if we get ambushed? You have a vision but i don't." you frowned

"I'll go by myself then!" she grinned, skipping to the door. "No! Wait hold on, i'll go with you" you sighed giving in. . You were also worried she might do something dangerous if she was alone. Her sleepwalking persona was quite the character. Leaving one last glance at your unfinished papers, you stepped out the door where Layla was, practically glimmering with happiness and energy. Running after her, you tried your best to tire her out before you tired yourself out.

Finally, after what seemed like a millennium, she decided to head back. The only good thing that came out of this was Layla giving you many ideas how to finish your essay. Perhaps skipping a few classes wouldn't hurt right?.. Perhaps you could feign a cold..

Faruzan was knocking on your door impatiently. "Y/n!" she called multiple times. What time was it?.. 5 in the morning?..you sighed. Why was she even here?..

"If you don't come out here right now i will break your door down!" 'she sounds like a mom' you sighed. "We have to go explore the ruins today!"

Oh. right. ruins. You, still half awake, could not process her kicking your door down and carrying you to the ruins fast enough. "What?..sand?.."

sand. "FARUZAN." you screamed in a panic. she dropped you on the ground, scoffing. "Its madam to you, y/n." she crossed her arms. the coarse sand beneath your feet, the sand under your clothing, the sand in your eyes. It felt awful. You ran like the speed of light to the ruins, where it had hard cool stone underneath the shadow. Dusting yourself off, you glared at faruzan. "Faruzan." You started. "Once we finish this, i'm switching my field of study."

"You can't do that!" she frowned. "Respect your elders!" she hit your head. "Ow!" you yelled, stomping off to somewhere within the ruins.

You were lost. Perhaps this ruin was solely a maze. "Faruzan?" you yelled, hoping for an answer. shhhekkkk. shheek. You turned around, petrified. There standing behind you was a primal construct, preparing to attack. Damn it. You really shouldn't have seperated from Faruzan. Especially when you wielded neither weapon or vision.

You cried running from it. You ended up (barely) in one piece by the end of your ruin adventures after promising to stay with faruzan and calling her "madam" from then on.

[bruiisedpetals-a]

long NON RP RANT — about work bc the audacity!?!??!   tldr: a girl who had applied and interviewed and confirmed her trial shift to be a barista last week and was V EXCITED so we cancelled another person for her trial .... showed up, said hi, chatted a bit, had a look inside, then said she was going for a walk to look around the area bc she isnt a local, and within 5 MINUTES (literally. five) ghosted, disappeared, text my boss and said “yeah nah bye”, and left me alone handling the whole place.  cue endless work for me w double the usual customers, and a shift that lasted three hours longer that it should have bc of the ghosting.

rel context: i work in a small coffee & bagel place, two people on one shift: one on coffee & point of sale and another to be the cook, we also have two online food delivery providers so we take orders in person and from two apps + i’m a barista and have line cook kitchen prac & experience so am actually a ‘cook’ ig?

so i mentioned in my post when i was half asleep yesterday that i had a new person coming into my workplace for a trial today, so i stayed late to prep for weekend trade + restock stuff, and came in early to set up everything just in case. we were v busy yesterday with food as it was so i had a lot to restock, and w mothers day tomorrow everything needs to be topped up more-so. that a lot of work by itself to be honest but manageable in between cooking, esp when you have an extra set of hands when its quiet to help.   look if you have seen any cooking show you might see that set up, prep and pack down take THE LONGEST ok.

 — our permanent staff consists of me and K, we have two other locations so we get help from Z and J, and they can usually cover the shifts that K and i can’t  (eg. K can’t do saturdays, i cant do every 3rd tuesday)  but they manage other locations so they are not available without prior notice.       so basically the only person who was available to work today was me, even my boss was busy moving house w his wife, 4mo and two under 8yo’s. —

this morning i’m at work at 7am, turn on things etc, set up my cooking stuff, open the coffee machine, nothing crazy. at abt 7:45am im chillin outside having a coffee and a smoke and someone walks up and it turns out to be the trial girl. we chat a bit etc, i show her inside and the machine    (she’s a barista and i’m the cook on shift)     —   i say that i just heard from my boss myself, bc she had spoken w him earlier that morning, and he’s on the way and should be here within 5-7 mins   ***technically we open at 8am but i was waiting for my boss but had checked the time to keep track & i had just text my boss back so i saw the timestamp***

so at 7:59am i head inside after i finish my smoke and she’s going to have a look where i told her there is free close parking for next time bc she took the train, at 8:04am my boss walks in and goes “WOW IT’S 8:04AM AND SHE’S NOT HERE lmao” (he did not yell it he’s a g - that’s just how i knew what the time was alksjfhg)     and i go “no she’s just having a look down [street] bc of the parking i literally saw her a few mins ago” and proceed to open the doors etc.  meanwhile i see my boss on the phone calling her, after a moment he comes over with a Whole “i cant fkn believe this” Face on while he’s on the phone.  i’m thinking “??? i hope trial girl didn’t get lost in these lil crossover streets damn”

(it’s 8:07am, from now the customers start. they DO NOT STOP until at least 11am, it was at least double the normal turnover of profits during that time so thats ur ref for how BUSY it got)

boss goes “ur not gonna believe this” and show me the mssg from trial girl who basically has said “hi i went to ur shop, and i had a wander around the area and its just not good enough for me so i’m on my way home”. she’s GONE. in those five minutes. she got up, lied to me, and was at the nearby train station leaving. boss is floored and i’m like !>?!??!?!@#!#?who IN THE FK does this?!?!? but the customers so *professional me is present rn*

between her and boss there’s a little back and forth (text, she wont answer any calls) where he literally pleads with her bc there is NO ONE who can come in an assist me and she confirmed yesterday and she WAS HERE, she continues to be like “mmmm well ik that we discussed this and i said that i would be here and its been set for days and i applied LAST WEEK etc. but... no sorry im going back to bed” and then blocks him.

& this whole thing takes place between

7:59AM — 8:07AM.

i was there from 7am - 4:35pm  / my usual saturday is 7:45am - 2:30pm

WHO DOES THAT. WHO IS THAT UNPROFESSIONAL. WHO??? WHOMST??? SHE WAS SO FKN RUDE I WAS liVID. LIKE. why LEAD us ALL ON. we all need to make a living do U THINk he can afford to lose a whole day of trade?? he’s got a whole FAmILY and his wife cant work rn bc she’s just had their 3rd child.   i live PaYCHECK to PAYcheck.  like this is life this isnt a game????   you are 29YRS OLD why cant u act grown 

[iamyelling]

well, so it’s looking like we’re not gonna go which definitely makes me sad. so yeah my period started today but with T it’s not so bad and also i can power thru it and it’s not so bad when you’re doing something, so you’re distracts yknow.

but annah seems to be coming down with something and is very tired from an extra rough week at work. she was up in the lifts working on skylights. the heights and wobblyness makes her scared, it’s hard for her to even focus and work so her body is exhausted from being tensed up and afraid for 8+ hours 5 days in a row. like even just gently caressing her legs last night hurt her too much, i wasn’t even massaging. plus she just mentioned she lowkey got heat exhaustion yesterday from being up in the skylight (it’s very hot being up inside them) and had to go sit on the floor for like half an hour. oof!! so her body is very achey and sore and she said she’s tasting blood in her mouth today. and yesterday and today she has felt likes she’s getting sick. so who knows what she’s got but she’s coming down with something and i don’t want to push her body by going out to this event and stuff. i really don’t want to make whatever she has worse by not resting. it would also be bad to go out while sick and possibly spread it.

unfortunately i don’t really have any other friends i could go with (my other good friend is busy this weekend helping her good friend pack to move to ireland and is doing a farewell party for her tonight) and i don’t really want to go alone that’s just not really fun for me? which sucks i know im not all cool and able to have a good time going to events alone but 🤷🏻 that’s what it is.

i haven’t been able to make friends bc i’ve been so soo broke and unemployed the past forever (like 2 years) and my friends/exes broke up with me and prior to that was covid and prior to that was unemployed and prior to that was my first job post graduation and i was tired and not in seattle and prior to that i was in college and struggling and just trying to graduate.

🫤

it’s a bummer bc i don’t get to interact with folks much, go to gay events much. we’re not in seattle so it’s just a little more logistic planning and stuff to go to things. so i was really looking forward to going to the seattle dyke march lawn hangout and march and then hopefully annah would agree to go to the wildrose after.

but there really are events all the time around here (here being seattle mostly) and we can “just” go to the next thing. granted annah is always tired.. and often doesn’t see that i send her events.. and rarely is interested… but we COULD go to one.

[sumarmz]

I'm feeling emo so I'm gonna list things I rlly like so I remember life is very snazzy everyone pay attention bc I am always right so everything I like must be amazing

-Roses in bodies of water like omgggg especially like pink toned red roses with fairly lights in lakes aughhhh help

-Vanilla icecream when it has those little black bits omg

-my crush bc they're so cute and pretty and I want to hold her hand

-Those friendship bracelets that are the shade of each friends eyes like that's so cute stop I'm gonna combust

-Waterstones. Like I moved a while ago so I haven't been to waterstones yet but it's so ethereal it's literally got a cafe attached to it and it's so pretty

-my iMedia coursework, like slay me I ate on that did so good I got the best score in both the year 10 and year 11 classes 🙏🙏

-My epic freunds I've only known them for like 5 months but I'm the happiest I've ever been with them they're the only people who I'm 100% myself with it's so freeing

-This specific lip gloss that i do not own but its like drop desd gorgeous and only about 6 quid on yesstyle (I will probably never buy it anyway)

- jet black hair/dark hair in general. Just propose to me atp

-Those jelly crystal things they look like they have the peeeerfect texture and one thing about me is I crave textures not taste and I've been craving that texture my whole life

-My new friend who texts like the Snapchat ai he's so goofy

-Lin Manuel Miranda

-Musicalssss

-specifically hamilton

-My zesty English teacher whose so millenial coded, wants pet snails, "has no shame" (he said that himself) and let's me and my mate harass him after class

-My iMedia, Business and tutor teacher whose literally my mom guys she breeds dogs and she has a pet dog called Gilly who looks like a human and her daughters a lesbian too and said daughter helped me with my iMedia work 💔💔💔

-My ugly ass birds

-Black cats

-Handmade gifts, I have a bunch (three) of crochet gifts that I do absolutely nothing with but I refuse to let anyone touch it because and keep them all pretty and neat bc someone made that for me

-PINKKKK

-pink again I live pink

-Marina as in Marina and the Diamonds

-Mitski

-People enjoying my baking

-People enjoying my art

-People who enjoy me

-My little cousins who I see as little brothers and mean the world to me like if I kms whose gonna be there for them 🤨🤨

-When my crush sends me audios/videos of them speaking or singing or whatever (I could listen to them for hours on end) I'm literally shaking as I write this guys oh my god I love her

-My history teacher whose always insulting me like omg leave me alone you little rat maybe she should be nicer to her best student 🙄

-Brain rot humour

-Pretty skies

-Buying new books

-Drawing

-Lesbians <3333

-My crush again

-the person who I think of every day (this is not an exaggeration)

-the person I have romantic attraction to

-the person who I'd throw away my whole life and family for

-the person whose the only person I've ever loved

-the person who wasn't my FIRST love (if you can class that as love lmao) but was my first LOVE

-the person who doesn't like physical touch but still hugs me even if rarely

-the person who I'm drifting apart from despite my feelings starting to consume every nerve every cell every part of my body

-the person who I planned a future with

-the person I've known for years but I only clocked my feelings in October 2022 (girl in red ref??)

-the person who I'd rather never speak to again over hurting them by confessing

-the person I adore

-did I mention my crush

-guys im actually cooked

[oflgtfol]

so for context me and this guy went to the same college for undergrad together. we were in the astronomy club together. we didnt start talking until the last like two years of my time there? because my first two years were spent with me being a reclusive freak who couldnt make friends or speak to anyone, and then online meetings because of covid. it was just casual like oh hi we are in the same club together to then like him being one of the people i gravitated towards for small talk because i didnt know anyone wlse in the club but he was really outgoing and became a board member so it was still like. We’re friendly and will chat but we arent friends yknow!

he wound up graduating before me by like a year but he met up with us for an astro club trip during the fall semester of my senior year. he had mentioned he worked at [redacted place] and so i was like 👉👈 how do u get a job there. and he gave me his boss’s email and then lo and behold when i graduated i emailed him and got the job as well

Now additional context this guy is like, 30? i think somewhere around there. and so by now he’s worked here for years enough to where he actually has a full time job elsewhere and only comes in here once a week

and so yknow once i got hired i didnt work a shift with him till like months after i started so then it was like oh im working X shift i’ll finally get to catch up with him lol!! but nowadays im working much more consistent and nearly full time hours here so i overlap with him at least once a month and so i’d say after actually working with him like we’re real friends now not just friendly hi there clubmates lulz

so then last weekend, the day before i overlapped a shift wirh him, i was alone in the building and panicking cuz i needed something so i was in the company slack like Hi everyone. Do you know where this important object is. and this guy was the first one to respond and was the only one whose response was actually helpful. so then when i worked with him rhe following day he asked how that went and i was filling him in and he was like, wait how do i not have your number? cuz u could just text me instead of feeling embarrassed for going into the whole company slack asking for help. so yknow like we’re friends AND coworkers now so its like whatevers yeah lol lets swap numbers who cares

but im so used to like, when swapping numbers w coworkers, to pretty much only talk about work stuff until we get more comfy talking outside work, and then occassionally move into brief casual conversations. so imagine my surprise when he just comes right out the bat swinging w the casual conversations. and its like yeah ok like we have years long history prior to working together as coworkers but its also like, i feel like we only actually became legit friends after working together??? so like idk there is still the coworkerly aspect to it that i cant shake

And so i start my joking along bc yeah whayever im not gonna make it weird but then like. i am an atrocious texter. i can and will take days to respond if not entire weeks. but yknow i have to work with this guy so i dont wanna leave him hanging and make things weird so after like 2-3 days i make sure to respond but then still leave things sparse, mostly because i was busy as fuck this week

so today he texts me while im on my break. the daily break schedules are posted publicly basically for anyone in our department to see regardless of if theyre actively working at the momsnt. so he texts me maybe 5 mins into my break and im like oh man is this a coincidence or not. and his text was like “why dont you stay late today so we can work a full shift together. no reason. just to hang out haha” LIKE HUH?? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???? and thats what prompted me to make that hmmmm post earlier today. like its not weird enough for my hackles to rise but its also like. Im baffled? im gobsmacked?

so im like man he can see im on my break i have no excuse to not text to finally i respond again and im like lol sorry i cant im so tired ive been working a lot this week (A. ive been looking forward to finishing malevolent s4 tonight all week long and i cannot do that if im working a surprise 14 hour shift. B. i am genuinely so tired and i really just need a nice night in. it was indeed a long week and C. it is a casual hint that like hi im not like purposefully ignoring you i just suck at texting because im so incredibly busy all the time)

AND HIS RESPONSE IS “AWW YEAH YOU WORK A LOT 🥺” LIKE. HUH ?!?! HUH ⁉️⁉️ Im even MORE baffled, even MORE gobsmacked than i was before. why are you a 30 year old man using 🥺 ????? and he says “no worries, our shifts still overlap so i’ll see you tonight” LIKE YEAH I KNOW ALREADY. I ACTUALLY LOOK AT THE SCHEDULE (he also has famously announced he never looks at the schedule because he always works the same singular shift every week - why is he looking at the schedule suddenly ????) HUH? HUH??? HUH?

like i really feel like im overthinking this and he’s just being friendly and potentially we have different ideas of what exactly our friendship entails and so i do not want to be like hey hi yeah we were classmates and all and you were one of the few friendly faces to me back when i was struggling to make any friends at all, and i do not want to insult those years by implying that like we arent actually friends enough to joke around and tex outside work related stuff, but also like. I am someone who requires either a decade of talking to someone daily, or like a trauma filled blood pact, to become actual friends with. so like yeah i would in fact call our friendliness in college something akin to friends but theres a difference between friends and Friends(TM) yknow? so im just left feeling absolutely fucking baffled by all this. Im baffled. bewildered even

[wolfpiretrobed]

Introduction: (if youve seen this already its becuase im moving blogs)

Uhhhhh idk how to introduce things i barely got a C in english but the idea behind wolfpire is like a dark fantasy au of community. the big changes are:

This all takes place in and around Aberystwyth(A-buh-rist-wuth),wales because I'm welsh and also america perplexes me.

Troy is now a werewolf,he lives in his family's pack (it's like a small village in the countryside) after his mom died he was made the leader against his will by his dad since he wanted Troy to grow up faster and become more responsible. Oh and troys ftm now because ik him better then harmon.(also ill be referring to younger troy as troy i wont be giving him a deadname or anything like that because i think thats kinda weird tbh)

Abed is a half vampire, his mom is a human and his dad is a vampire,his mom left (i've said before that she died but i’m changing that) due to similar reasons in the show, abed was always alone since he was home-schooled (as a protective measure), and since he couldn't go to the movies (overstimulation makes it impossible to hide his vampiric side) abed reads screenplays and re-enacts/draws scenes he thinks would be cool. also Since he didn't go to Greendale he instead works at his dads cafe which doubles as a normal cafe but also has a V.I.P area for any other monsters in town who need a place to go and don't need to hide themselves.

Annie wasn't able to go to rehab due to her parents, she's constantly tired from all nighters she has to pull for her straight A+’s (or else her parents will kick her out) it doesn't help that she doesn't have a study group to help her.

Other characters pending….

Greendale community college is now ‘greendale paranormal investigators’ a (not so successful) agency that investigates,documents and “takes care of” any paranormal/supernatural activity, it also has a trainee/apprenticeship program.

My best attempt at a timeline of events(this'll be short for now because i don't have too many events “planned” in my head):

Troy and abed first met when they're younger like 5-7, Abed was in his backyard re-enacting a scene from a screenplay with some pebble/rock statues he made, when troy who got lost on a field trip with his family and found abed playing in his backyard and got excited to see another kid his age so he jumped into his backyard and thats when they first met, they talked for hours and hours troy was happy to finally have a person who didn't judge or criticize him and abed was happy to have someone to talk to who wasn't “too busy” to listen to him. I also feel like abed did that speech thing with jeff in ep1 but with troy.

Periodically when he can troy would sneak away and visit abed at least once a week after a while abed starts baking snacks he thinks troy will like, introducing him to Gobi who was worried for troy but also happy that his son had someone to talk and specificity looking for screenplays he knows troy will like so they can re-enact them together. After about 5-6months of this happening though abed notices that troys coming less and less and eventually he stops coming at all… Yeah thats kinda it  😅 i don't actually have much of any other ideas bouncing strong enough around my head sadly :(  if you cant tell already this is still a very massive work in progress.

Where the idea came from:

basically back in October i got a an idea after watching Danny in dywtsadb and wanted to relate that to community so i made abed a vampire (instead of a cannibal but i mean those are basically the same anyway) and i also wanted troy to be a sexy monster but i didn't want him to also be a vamp and the next thing my brain thought of was a werewolf, i feel like that tells you a lot about who i am as a person.

link to google doc with all this

[bbypeachh]

These days i feel like my mind is in a jumble. Just totally non sensible.

The end of the year reflections are calling to me and so much has happend. In the late winter i went on 2 trips, one with my found family and one with my real family. Both trips where amazing. I also got a internship going at that point and i was working my ass off for the last projects. I can dub this season as wanting to rest, nest and winter, but not really doing it.

Then come spring im really starting with my bachelor thesis. Just in a routine with work and study + working out. I started training for the thriathlon sprint for a good cause. I was so fun, doing it with my friend who i also have kickboxing with. Just running, swimming in my local swimming pool and cycling on the hometrainer. I really fell in love with swimming, it is such a nice sport. I really feel like picking it up again. And not to forget april, the last couple of years april was a very hard month for me mentally, but this year i focused on aryuvedic practices to balance my body, spirit and mind. I also did a reiki course. Those 2 got me through april and the rest of the period around my thesis flawlessly. Balanced is what i would call this month. A lot, but everything was nourished and balanced. My spirit was fed with reiki, aryuveda and mindfullness, my body was nourished with good food and great workouts and my mind was occupied with study and thesis.

So summer rolls around and summer is suposed to be a season of high energy. And it was at the first half. Just having done a little thriathlon i hurled myself into my thesis. Thesis, thesis and dinner parties. I had my 21 dinner in the summer since i was so busy in spring. A lot of my friends also turned 21 which meant a lot of dinner parties, which was so nice. I love dinner parties way more then a real party. And my work for the thesis payed of, i got my bachelors degree! Insanely happy. After that i went with my mom to slovenia, a beautiful country and i absolutly fell in love with bled. A pitoresque little village, and our host took us up to the most amazing view. One of my favorite memories of the year. After that i dog sat for a few weeks just resting. But the weather was aweful, the only highlight was amsterdam pride and i finally had a plan for the upcoming years after my bachelor. Summer was a season of endings all the seeds that i so carefully had sown over the last couple years finally where ready to harvest. My studies, my friends, my relationship with my mom improved and i made some final decisions.

Come september and im working my ass of for a month in a whole food grocery store, i need some bucks if you know what i mean. Since i will be leaving in november for 5 months to go to new zealand, sydney, vietnam and laos. For the first month i would be alone, visiting my cousin and then 2 of my best friends would come along and we would travel for 4 months together. So after earning the last of my bucks im hopping on the longest flight of my life. Around 26 hours im flying. I landed in christchurch and had an amazing time, i love hostels and meeting new people and i pick up the campervan that we had bought. Everything is going great, im over the moon, my adventure is finally starting. Drive, drive, nice landscape, drive and crash. I got into an accident. Thankfully i had no injuries and i got the van insured. The car was undriveble. It took two weeks to handle the aftermath of it all. And i had to find a new van. I also had to get over my fear of driving, it got so bad i was scared to sit next to the drivers seat. So i got a new van and got over my fear at least a little bit. And im writing this from bob (the name of the new campervan) in queenstown where me and my friends would be celabrating christmas! If i could give this season one name it would be chaos. Just pure pushing at my limits, boundries and beliefs.

So first i rested (but not really) then i had a good balance for a while, but sadly that fell of and the harvest of my hard work began. After the harvest i am searching for other seeds to sow and going on a journey to push my limits and beliefs which kinda resulted in total chaos (that i got out of gracefully).

The next year (which for me starts around februari because i feel like new year starts with spring and a new moon cycle) will bring even more confusion and challenges, that i will gladly take.

[just-some-brain-garbage]

Hind sight is 20/20 and if i’ve learned anything from my life its that its goes in cycles

My life is good for a little while, then i go through another cycle of “this is the worst period of my life”

Im a cute little innocent kid, then my brother gets sick, leading to helping my parents in medical emergencies frequently at like 10 years old

Elementary school is cool for a bit because i switch schools, but then middle school starts and all the shit thats wrong with me pops up and im fucking 12 idk how to properly handle depression anxiety and ptsd so its just all around a disaster

Middle schools over, awesome, hated those people anyway, and i get into highschool and suddenly almost 3 years are POOF gone, my partner commits suicide, i lost all my friends including my best friend of 5 years who just decided they didnt like me anymore. i was alone and felt awful for months, and i didnt really have any real friends until fucking midway through junior year, which by the way, was fucking hell. I have always struggled academically but nothing has made me want to drop out more than my chemistry and spanish class

Senior year. My life. Finally. Calms down. My brother stopped having medical emergencies. The greif isnt all consuming every waking hour. My classes are manageable. I have a thriving social life. I got to have that for one year. And the whole time all i could think about was how i was going to lose it

My mental health is getting bad again. Ive moved out of the house and all i can think about is going back home. I have no friends again except for my roommate- whom i love dearly, but theyre very busy with school and work. I dont want to get in their way.

So while im waiting for my job to process paper work thats taking WAY TOO FUCKING LONG, im spending almost every day alone, bored, tired, sad, and just. Done. Im just waiting for it to get bad again. And it will probably be worse than last time. Thats just how my life goes. By the time im my parents age i wouldnt be shocked if i had no rights, no money, was living on the street, have contracted 7 terminal illnesses, and any semblance of a friend would be in another fucking country. Thats just how my life goes. Its gets good, and then it gets worse.

[lauraashleyhomedecoratingbook]

another thing lately though is that i find such solace in spending time on my own. i have always known this about myself but reflecting on my recent life i find time spent out of the house on my own a very fond memory. even the other day when i hung out with *********, while I had a nice time and i enjoyed spending time with them, I do recall on my train ride there almost wishing that I had the day to spend with myself. but maybe that is just because i have been limiting my time spend exploring the world alone lately - not limiting in the sense that i do want to do it but i am not letting myself, more just i have not been spending as much time. and that day was one of the first where i felt i could have left the house and done something before work in a good few days, and in that moment i wanted to spend it alone. tomorrow, or i guess now today considering the hour, i will hang out on my own. i have work at 5 which is nice because it means i can come back home in decent time but then still have something to occupy the rest of my day, besides staying at home and rotting my brain on my phone.

i think tomorrow i will definitely go to purchase new sewing machine needles as i broke the one on my machine, and even though i can recall buying a pack of multiple needles and having many left, i cannot recall where i put them. so i will buy more needles so i can continue my sewing dreams (lol) and maybe i will buy something else i don't know maybe some starbucks which is a trend of recent times and im not sure what else i would like to do something different to my normal city outings maybe i will finally go to the opal museum but also something in my mind feels like that will be too much for one day and too extrenuous before work. however i also feel like i am making that up and i just need to go. but then also another part of my mind tells me i should save the opal museum for a day where i truly have nothing to do like no work or anything so i have something more sufficient to fill up my day. i still need to go to the jail i have been wanting to do that for a while i think the tickets are kind of expensive though i will check and i will also check if the opal museum is even open tomorrow because tomorrow is sunday which i find the most depressing day of the week because nothing is open and everything is dead and there are hardly any people about and it makes em depressed. though i dont like places being too buys, especially the city as it is insufferable when it is busy, i do like to be surrounded by people. i find it comforting. who knew i would write this much right now not me but here i am. i wonder if i will ever reread any of these posts or they will just exist online and alone forever.

[nukleator]

Work is so stressful like i was actually freaking out this whole week. First sysco fucks me by giving me frozen chicken then the kitchen refuses to use the substituted chicken and blames me for its existence . Then its insanely busy and service goes poorly. I stay 2 hours late which gm sats he will put on a different day so its not ot. Next day i dont sleep and come in at 645am and realize im on my own doing food costing this time. Stress about that. Agm is freaking out bc gm is on vacation and everythings going wrong immediately. Cook calls in sick for the night, we cant find someone to cover it because all the lifers refuse to work fry and anyone who does work fry either quit or is on vacation. So im forced to do it and we end up busy as hell with multiple tables ordering after close . Also since i worked even more hours than the day before those extra hours had to be moved to my NEXT shift which also was shit and i had to stay late and then i worked on the kitchen schedule for free because i wanted to learn. Then today the prep cook tells me she did everything which was fucking LIE and i was in the back making 5 things on the fly. Im keeping an eye on the clock bc theres a new guy starting at 5 and i want/need to walk him through everything.

But then the fucking POS goes DOWN and ive got the agm on the phone and im on hold with the pos company and theyre not picking up and im losing my mind. and people keep coming into the office to gossip loudly and tell jokes and im like GTFO IF YOURE NOT HELPING and theyre like looool chill. This is a restaurant emergency! Leave me alone! Even worse is the people annoying me are occasional supervisors who should know better. After what feels like an eternity the pos unfucks itself and i hang up on the support.

Ok time to train new guy so we go to the shakes station and we get a ticket and send it out and then BOOM we get an instant clusterfuck of orders so i have to take over more than id like when training someone. Then of course dinner rush hits and thats when we run out of more prep that AM prep assured me was taken care of so im in the back doing that while more problems pile up. And then there i am, 2 hours after im supposed to be off, trying to fix everything and tidy things up so chef doesnt strangle me when he comes back from vacation tomorrow. Idk if i shall ever see those 2 hoirs as ot or even regular pay .

And my stupid ass didnt order enough ofor one of our specials because i think i misunderstood the GMs words and i thought the special was ending tomorrow but its actually in a few days so i know chef is gonna kick my ass abou that

[tiredestsleepiestgirl]

vent.

my partner and i r long distance. when we were getting to know each other online neither one of us wanted to be in any relationship ever but were doing like casual non monogamy irl.

we met in person and he got real weird about me talking about ppl id been regularly hooking up with and after i got back home and we made our relatinship official we also agreed to be basically monogamous. the exception being i wanted to be able to makeout with ppl drunk just 4 funsies, and even this had a lotta strings attached bc he was uncomfortable with it, i laid out that it could only be in public spaces and thered b no handsy stuff.

i wasnt a huge fan of the idea of being monogamous but i was willing to do it 4 him. i also said at the same time that i wouldnt mind if he did want to screw around a bit but he said he doubted thatd happen. cut to a like six months later and he's out clubbing and asks if im alright for him to go home with someone. i say yes thats fine and he goes home with a couple. later i say ive changed my mind and imbalance actually does make me uncomfortable and i dont want it to happen again and he says he's been thinking that he actually would be alright with me sleeping with other people while we're long distance.

now during the last six months since ive been back home we've been calling for multiple hours almost daily, first couple of months it was daily and then when i started working more itd be whenever i wasnt working so at least four days a week and on days i was working we'd still try to get in a short call. and i knew he'd get angsty when he couldnt talk to me over the weekend or if i was busy so id try not to make plans in the evenings too often. and ive been sick for like the last month so havent been able to spend time with ppl in real life. and he's been out more and more with this couple he's befriended.

and im happy for him bc he has trouble maintaining stable friendships and is often so lonely. and i was always the one that felt overwhelmed by calling so often when id had a long day at work or whatever. but now i feel. jarringly alone. and also like the only reason im allowed to sleep around now is bc he's find someone he wants to fuck and the second that changes itll b back to monogamy.

i care for him so much i want to hold him and protect him and i want him to be able to find friendship and community but god it sucks that im just stuck here in bed or at working just waiting for when he'll be able to give me attention again. im happy he's making friends and spending time with them i really want that for him. everything he's doing is stuff i want for him.

but also im out here working 5-7 shifts a week. to help pay for his visit in august. and our future visa costs. and waiting on him. and when would i even find time to sleep around. sunday night i was lying in bed after working my least favourite shift on the week on three hours of sleep and my chest rattling from my stupid chest infection and i knew he was out with his new friends so i didnt bother him.

monday another shift but he was barely replying to my messages all day even whenni said i was worried and didnt know if he was okay and then find out the next day that ofc he slept over on sunday night and spent monday with them. weve talked about that and he said hell tell me when he has plans but even that makes me feel so desperate and needy that's not my usual vibe. im just. ugh.

anyway he's just asked if he can spend the day hanging out with them today, my freeest day to talk of the week. and im a cool girl. i said im so glad ur having such a good time. im so glad u have friends and r working out (theyre going climbing), i hope ull be back in the evening for me? yesyes probably maybe? probably i will have him back with me tonight. coolcoolcoolcool. im gonna be working the next three days str8. the weekends r so busy for me. 4 shifts in 3 days baby. ill miss u ill miss u.

[willsworldd]

i packed deliveries today at work and there were LOADS OF THEM and i was the only one who did them and like 5 other people worked with costumers.

so i go and pack a delivery and then this one random ass dude comes to me and asks “are you working on deliveries?” and i said yes and he goes “well isnt it more important that you work on the people here? the deliveries can wait, we cant”

I WAS ABOUT TO SCREAM MY FUCKING LUNGS AT THIS MOTHER FUCKER

NO CUZ THE DELIVERIES WAIT ABOUT A FUCKING HOUR FOR THEIR FUCKING ICE CREAM WHILE YOU CANT FUCKING STAND FOR TEN FUCKING MINUTES LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP IM ALONE ON FUCKING TEN DIFFERENT DELIVERIES WHILE THERE ARE FIVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE WHO ARE WORKING ON COSTUMERS AND IF THEY ARE BUSY AND THRY WORK ON ONE PERSON FOR EACH ONE IMAGINE HOW FUCKING BUSY I AM WORKING TEN DIFFERENT PEOPLE IN ONE FUCKING SETTING