#and i want shots to get started so i can feel sooooooo silly

[avesseloflanguage]

i want. two shots of vodka and like 3 austin eastciders. right now.

[illfoandillfie]

Smile For the Camera (Kinktober Day 13: Filming)

Kinktober Masterlist | Regular Masterlist

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader

Words: 2,957

Warnings: hypnosis, bimbofication/intelligence play, oral sex (m receiving), spanking, fingering, some begging, a hint of crying

A/N: Part of the Future Management universe. Aaaaaages ago I got a comment on AO3 that suggested a storyline where Roger and Reader make a bimbo sex tape with the possibility of some angsty consequences and it's been in the back of my mind ever since. So when I put filming on the kinktober prompt list I thot it was the perfect chance to actually write the sex tape making lmao. 

“Is it working?” you hugged your knees tighter to your chest as you watched Roger fiddling with the new video camera he’d bought on a whim.   “Should be,” he nodded, closing the tape inside and repositioning it on the dresser. He turned to you when he was happy with its setup, “Are you sure you want to do this?”  “Yeah, I do.”  “Okay.” he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “you remember the safe word?”  “Yes, I remember it. And we tested out the safe word trigger last time so we know it works and I’ll be able to tap out if I want to. I’m ready, let’s do it.”  “Alright love. I’m going to turn the camera on and then I’ll trance you like normal but we’re also going to try that spanking thing we talked about.”  “Mmhmm. And then you’ll play with me for a bit before you pick up the camera for some close-up shots.”  “Okay, okay, I get it, you’re ready.”  “We’ve been over it a hundred time. I know the plan and I trust you. Just do whatever feels right.”  Roger nodded and tilted your face up so he could give you a proper kiss, soft and sweet, before leaving you to turn the gadget on.  

When he came back he knelt behind you and stroked your hair as he started talking you down. It was hard for you to fully focus on his words at first, your attention constantly drifting to the camera, equal parts nervous and excited. But Roger was patient and gentle. He’d learnt a lot about talking you into your bimbo state and so was able to draw you back to his voice and eventually his words stuck. You found yourself feeling calm, relaxing back so you were leaning against Roger as you breathed deeply at his instruction. And then you felt yourself getting warmer, squirming in place as a sharp need for physical touch rose in you. And every second your desire grew, your thoughts diminished. Roger made you listen and then told you to stop thinking, that he would think enough for both of you, which just made you listen harder and so think less and less and less. By the time he was telling you to wake up you were already smiley and giggly and thinking only of his cock.   “Hi Doll,”  “Hi Sir,” you tilted your head back as far as you could so you could see Roger better, laughing about how he was sort of upside down.   He touched the tip of your nose, “You’re cute. But there’s someone else you need to say hi to.”  “Who?” you looked around excitedly but saw no one. Until Roger pointed the camera out. You scrambled to your knees and crawled to the end of the bed to get a closer look.   “I’m going to be filming you today,” Roger explained, “So that when I wake you up and you’re all smart again, you can watch yourself be my very good girl.”  You puzzled over the camera, confused by what Roger meant, “I don’t want to be smart.”  Roger tried not to laugh as he shuffled towards you, “You don’t have to be. Not right now. But are you okay with the video?”  “Mmhmm!” you didn’t really understand what he meant but you were happy for anyone to see you being a good girl.  “Well, why don’t you show the camera what you’re wearing then. Stand up and do a spin for us.”  You nodded eagerly and clambered off the bed, “ummm, I’m wearing my faaaaaavourite bra which is pink and Sir always says it makes my tits look sooooooo fuckable.” You giggled, “And thennnn this cute skirt which feels so nice, especially when Sir lets me ride him. And- can I have your cock Sir?”  “Not yet my silly slut, finish telling me about your outfit. What shoes have you got on?”  “These ones,” you kicked your leg up so he could see better. “They make me tall but they can be kind of hard to walk in. But that’s okay. I can just crawl instead.” You dropped to your hands and knees and crawled over to Roger, kneeling between his legs and looking up at him pleadingly, “Now can I have cock?”  “You can have all the cock you want. But you’ll have to wait a little bit first.”  You pouted but nodded. Roger said that you should be good for the other people watching, so you had to be good.   “You look very pretty though, it’s making me hard.”  “You mean it Sir?”  “Of course Doll. It’s a very slutty outfit. I think if you bent over I’d be able to see your pretty pussy all ready for me. Should we see?”  You nodded and got to your feet again, turning away from Roger and bending over so he’d have a good view. You stayed bent over as Roger stood up, as he grabbed your hips, as he adjusted your position. He explained that he had to show the camera how much of a slut you were, stroking his fingers along your pussy lips as he talked. You hummed at the contact, pleased that you’d pleased him.   “How come you picked this outfit Doll?” Roger asked as he pulled you to stand up again.  You thought about it and then shrugged.  “You don’t know?”  You shrugged again, “It makes me feel....ummm....”  “Makes you feel what? Take your time, love, I know it’s hard to know the words.”  “There's so many,”  “So many words”  You nodded and Roger laughed softly.   “Do you like it Sir?”  “I like it very very much.”  You couldn’t help but smile at that, feeling that if your Sir was happy then he’d have to let you lick his cock and taste his cum and bounce on his lap and oh god you wanted him so so much it was all you could think about.  “But you were saying it makes you feel something Doll, what do you feel?”  You giggled again, “I feeeeeel,” you ran your hands over your body, feeling your breasts and your hips and your thighs, “I feel horny and dumb!”  Roger had to laugh. You’d said it with such joy and enthusiasm it was impossible not to be completely charmed by it. He loved being able to tap into this side of you, loved that you loved being this way. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you into him so he could kiss you.  

Roger had to carefully unhook your arms from around him when he pulled away. You’d pressed yourself against him and it had taken all his self-control not to fuck you then and there. But that wasn’t what you’d agreed on when you’d decided to film yourselves. Half the reason you’d been interested and okay with doing it was because you were curious to see yourself in your bimbo state. And he wanted to make sure he did it properly for you. So, he disentangled himself, ignoring your whine, and told you to kneel on the bed.   You eagerly got into position, hopeful that if you were good enough you’d get what you really wanted. Curiously, you watched as Roger walked over to the dresser and picked up the thing that had been watching you. If only you could remember what it was called. The word was lost in the depths of your hazy bimbo brain, but you didn’t have to puzzle over it for long.   “Smile for the camera Doll,”  You smiled, big and brainless. Your Sir always made you want to smile. He reminded you of cock and you were happy when you thought about cock.   “Now tell the camera what you are.”  “Ummmm, dumb?”  “And? Sir’s what?”  “Sir’s silly bimbo slut!”  “And what are you going to let Sir do to you?”  You giggled, amused by all the questions, “Whatever he wants!”  “You gonna suck his cock?”  “Mmmmhmmmm. I loooove his cock so much.”  Roger laughed from behind the camera, “How about if Sir spanks you? Or chokes you? Or edges your little whore pussy?”  You whined, not sure if you fully understood all the possibilities but overwhelmed by them all the same, “Yes please Sir.”  “You’re so polite,” Roger cooed, grabbing you by the chin, his thumb pressing against your lips until you parted them. ‘How about we start with your mouth and work our way down.   ‘Thir-” you said around his thumb, “Does ‘at ‘ean...”  He nodded, pulling his thumb free but keeping hold of your chin, “Yes Doll, you’re allowed to suck me off now. But. Mr Camera will be watching the whole time, and if he doesn’t think you’re doing a good enough job then Sir will have to punish you.”  “I’ll be good Sir, I promise. I’ll lick you’re cock so good and swallow alllllll your cum.”  “Go on then. Show us how much of a cockslut you are.”  As soon as he let you go you surged forward, mouthing at his cock through his jeans. You traced the outline of it with your lips and tongue, kissing his rapidly stiffening length. But it wasn’t right. You couldn’t taste it properly. You wanted him in your mouth, you wanted to feel him fill your throat, to taste him cum. The jeans were in the way, so you whined as you continued to try to wrap your lips around him through the fabric.   “You forgot something dummy.” Roger lightly batted you away so he could unzip his fly and push his pants down. He’d barely gotten his cock out and you were already moving closer, moaning as you put your lips on him for real.  Roger made sure he got it all on tape, keeping the camera trained on you as you enthusiastically sucked him off. If he didn’t know how brainless you were he’d have thought you were faking your interest. Your moans were comically frequent, made every time he so much as twitched under your attentions but especially when precum leaked from his tip. At one point you licked a saliva coated tongue along his length and then sat back giggling. And when he asked what was so funny you couldn’t respond except to say you loved cock. He could only imagine how you’d react when you saw just how stupidly cock obsessed you were. You’d be embarrassed probably, but he hoped you’d be turned on too. The camera lost you for a moment as he stopped paying attention to where it was pointing, too lost in thoughts about fucking you while making you watch your bimbo self, how hot it would be to make you cum to that. But as soon as he realised the focus had slipped he righted the machine, taking a better hold of it and pointing it at your face.   “Stop, dummy,” he grunted. It was a shame to halt your greedy attentions, but he had a particular image he wanted recorded.  “Sir?”  “Wank me off instead.”  You pouted but wrapped your hand around his length, poking your tongue between your teeth as you concentrated on stroking him.   Roger groaned and praised you as he got closer, which just made you smile more and more, happy with how happy you were making your Sir. When he came suddenly you let out a surprised “oh!” and then giggled and wiggled happily in place as his cum spurted over your face, making sure to milk every drop from him. Roger made sure he filmed you grinning as you greedily licked cum from your fingers, as if you’d just been given the best treat in the world.  

While you were enjoying the reward, Roger turned to put the camera back down.   “Where are you going Sir?” you pouted at his back.  “Nowhere baby, just putting Mr Camera on the dresser again.”  “What’s a dresser?”  He laughed a little but didn’t reply straight away, busy adjusting the focus and zoom, “Don’t worry baby, silly little bimbo sluts don’t need to worry about that.”  “Okay! Can I suck your cock?”  Roger looked directly into the camera as he rolled his eyes, “See how fucking dumb you are?” but his next words were directed at you on the bed, “You’ve just done that dummy.”  “Oops, I forgot.”  “Well maybe Sir needs to give you something you can’t forget. Turn around.”  You bit your lip, not sure what he meant but excited that he was going to give you something, and did as he asked.   Roger helped position you, grabbing your hips and pulling your arse into the air, pushing between your shoulders so you lowered your head and chest.  You giggled into the sheets as you felt him slowly stroke your arse cheek but then gasped as he gave you a light spank.   “How was that slut?”  “Feels good Sir.”  “Yeah? How about this?”  There was a crack and you whined as his palm met your flesh, much harder than the first.   “Now I want to test something Doll. A little magic I put in your bimbo brain.”  “Magic?”  “Mmhmm. I’m going to click my fingers and you’ll go to sleep, but only for a second. And when I wake you, the magic will be working. Okay?”  “Okay.”  If Roger hadn’t told you what was happening, you wouldn’t have even known you’d been asleep. He’d done most of the work when he’d first talked you down and so really only had to activate the trigger he’d set up before he snapped his fingers to wake you again.   “Hi again, dummy. You ready to test out the magic?”  You giggled, “Ummmm, yes?”  “Good girl. Now, look at me Doll, that’s right. You remember how I hit you before? You remember what it felt like?”  You rubbed over the spot where his hand had landed and nodded, whimpering softly as you remembered the sharp sting of it.   “Well, because of my magic, whenever I say a specific word, you’re going to feel it again, okay?”  “What?”   “Spank.”  “Ow!” You were shocked by the sudden, unexpected, smack. You’d had your eyes on your Sir and he hadn’t moved at all.  “Good, it works.” Roger smiled, rubbing your back softly, “So, whenever I say that word again, you’re going to feel like you’ve been smacked. But don’t worry, I’m going to make you feel so good too.”  You nodded, completely confused by how he’d spanked you without raising a hand but keen to take whatever he wanted to give you. And, seconds later, you learnt just how good he meant to make you feel.   “Did you get this wet from sucking cock, or are you always so drippy when your brain turns off?” Roger asked as he slid his fingers along your slit.  “Both?” you asked, not at all sure.  “Probably,” he agreed, rewarding you by pressing a finger into your hole. “Or maybe it was the spank.”  You squealed as you felt the power of his hand hitting you again.  

He kept it up for a while, gradually giving you more of his fingers, interspersing the word spank into his praise and encouragement. He kept up constant chatter, sometimes directed to you – telling you how good you were and how much he loved playing with your pussy and how he was going to have to fuck it later. He’d drop the word spank in casually, just part of the conversation, as if he barely remembered the power he’d given it. But then there were times where he was talking more to the camera, laughing about how much of a slut you were, how eagerly you were clenching on his fingers. And then he’d say spank like it was a challenge. Asking the camera if it would like to see you be spanked again, wondering aloud how many times he could say it before you cried. Usually, that’s when he’d speed his movement up, finger fuck you hard and fast as he said, “Spank. Spank. Spank.” so that you barely had time to register one hit before the next was coming. He would ocassionally give your clit a little touch, circle it once or twice before focusing back on your lips and your hole. He explained he wasn’t ready for you to cum just yet, but you were okay with that. You only wanted to do what he wanted you to do. So you gratefully accepted the spanks and his fingers, moaning and whining and whimpering in turns, depending on which sensation he gave you at any one time. After some time, Roger was ferociously hard. You’d long been wet enough to leak over his hand and were stifling little sobs in the blankets on the bed from the mixture of pain and pleasure.   You whined when he pulled his fingers free but, when you turned to try and find where he’d gone, were gratified to see him removing his pants properly.   “How do you feel Doll?”  “Soooooooooooooooo horny.”  Roger chuckled as he kicked his pants off his ankles, “not too sore?”  You shook your head, “Cock? Now?”  “So you want me to fuck you?”  “Pleeease Sir.”  “And which hole should I fuck?”  “Ummm....all of them?”  “Not sure I can manage that,” he laughed, “But I don’t think I can resist this slutty, drippy cunt. It’s so wet, just begging to be fucked.”  You whimpered as he notched his tip at your entrance and began begging for him.   “There you go,” he grunted as he slid inside, his words almost drowned by your moan, “Tell Mr Camera how much you love this.”  You turned your head to the camera and beamed, “I love Sir’s cock fucking me so so so so much.” 

[tinyboxxtink]

"Black Magic" *Part 9*

Woot woot! Okay like I said I wrote "two" chapters on my phone and they were wonky and I couldn't tell how long they were on my drive app [no page numbers] AND there was no "read more" option on the Tumblr app on my phone, and y'know to be honest I'm trying to figure how how exactly to get to 15 SOOOOOOO....kinda worked out.

So anyway that's a long winded way to say this chapter is pretty short. But it was divided in half. The next chapter is already up and another one is coming late tonight for me, so probably tomorrow for the rest of you.

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@madamsnape921

@word-scribbless

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@aprildecker-blog

@wanniiieeee

@milkshqke

@gibbs274

@objection-argumentative

@bookishfanfic

@lolliepopsicle

@sassyada

@omgsuperstarg

Part 8

Part 10

-----

"Seriously Ms. Benson?" The old woman stared at Olivia.

"Yes seriously." She replied.

"Y'know I run a legitimate business here, I'm not a 'build-a-husband".

"You'll do what I ask you to you old bat, or I'll bust you on that drug charge that brought me in here,"

"That warrant is ten years old, you'll never make it stick." She scoffed.

"You wanna try me?"

"....Fine, but I'm telling you right now. I may be a powerful witch but it sounds like you're up against true love, which unfortunately is even stronger."

"Oh please, what is this, a fairy tale?"

"Well its definitely not yours,"

"Shut up and give me the mind eraser elixir"

The old woman went into the back and came back with a bright blue liquid.

"Alright just whisper the name you of the person you want the person to forget,"

"Thank you," she huffed and stormed out of the shop.

-----

Monday rolled around, and you decided that you were not going down without a fight. You Approached the DAs office you saw a familiar face waiting for you at the top of the stairs.

"Maria?"

"Y/N!!! She threw her arms around you. "I knew I didn't make you up.'

"Make me...who said you made me up?"

"Raffi came to introduce me to his fiancé this weekend." She rolled her eyes.

"Oh God…wait. You didn't buy it?"

"He wasn't….right, mija," she sighed.

"What do you mean?"

'He wasn't….Raffi. I know that bruja did something to him

"Did something to him? Like...magic?"

"Yes! Exactly!"

"You know about magic?" You asked her.

"Ay chiquita, we know all about brujería. Especially dark magic. He wasn't like he was when he was with you."

"Well ..Maria," you gulped. "I..."

"Yes mija?" She touched your shoulder.

"I used it too." You started to cry. "He wasn't really in love with me either, all of that stuff he said that day was bullshit."

"No, that's where you're wrong." Maria shook her head. "If you used pure good magic, it wouldn't have created fake feelings. It would have just enhanced the feelings he already had for you."

"….That's what Chloe said too" you sniffled.

She's right. And Raffi's eyes.. They weren't his eyes. That woman did something evil to him. You have to stop her."

"How am I supposed to do that Maria?" you asked. "She not only used love on him, she mixed in something that brings out hatred for me."

"...And hatred for anyone against her" Maria added.

"What?"

"I told Raffi that she did something; and that he had brought you to me last week and he went completely insane, telling me to stay out of his life. You should have heard the way he spoke to me. I've never seen him like that. So angry….he was like his…"

"His dad." you finished her sentence.

"Yes. And his dad was an evil man, Y/N. You have to do something."

"I….okay I'll try." You shook your head.

As if on cue, Rafael and Olivia came walking up the steps.

"Rafa!" You ran up to him.

"..Um, yes?" He looked at you strangely.

He wasn't hostile. He was just….blank. you glanced at Olivia who looked like she was holding her breath waiting for something

"Can I help you miss?" He asked you.

"Wha--- Rafael it's me," You gave him a confused look and noticed that Olivia was now smiling.

"Oh my god….oh my GOD.," You muttered. He had no idea who you were.

"WHAT did you do now?!" You screamed at Olivia, not caring about making a scene.

"Excuse me ma'am, you really don't need to scream at my fiancé like that." Rafael stepped in between you two.

"She's not your fiancé she's...evil," you glared at Olivia who just kept smiling in victory.

"Excuse you? Look lady I don't know you, but you need to step off." Rafael pushed you away from the both of you. This time, you saw a blue flare in his eyes. Jesus Christ what all did she have him on?!

"She's just a crazy stalker Rafa ignore her" Olivia waved you off.

"Liar!" Maria came running up.

"Maria?" Rafael was really lost now.

"Raffi this woman is manipulating you with brujería." Maria glared at Liv.

"Maria, what are you-" he looked from her to you to Olivia. His eyes began to dart back and forth, the blue in his eyes flashing.

Olivia began to panic. She hadn't counted on Maria showing up. She remembered what the old woman had ssid about "true love" being stronger than any of her potions. That was bullshit ...wasn't it? She had to get Rafael out of here.

"Rafael come on, we're going to be late," She started pulling him into the building.

"But …"

"Rafael," she said sternly, his eyes flashed purple. "Whatever you say mi amor," he replied in a blank stare.

"Oh my god…." Your eyes were huge in horror. She was completely controlling him now!!!

Olivia was dragging Rafael away, you tried desperately to run after them but Maria stopped you.

"Ay mija it's no use," she shook her head. "You need another plan,".

"I don't HAVE another plan!" You sobbed. "it's no use….I give up" you walked away from the building, defeated.

-----

You woke up in your bed to a knocking at your door. You got out out bed and went to it and opened it to reveal Rafael standing there with roses.

"Rafa," You whispered. "How….what? What are you…"

"I told you silly, your little 'spell' did nothing but help me tell you how I felt about you," he pulled you close into a kiss.

"Why are you crying carino, aren't you happy?'

"This isn't real, is it?" You said through tears.

"Not yet." Rafael kept smiling.

"Not yet?" You wiped tears away.

"I'm here, baby. You know I am. No amount of magic can erase what we have. You just have to find me,"

"But how am I supposed to….?" You started go ask.

"Kiss me." He grinned.

You kissed him. Nothing happened.

"Kiss me like you mean it, Cariño" He smirked.

You kissed him with all the power you had in you, your tongue explored his mouth like crazy, your hands gripped him so tightly into your body it was like he was inside you.

After a few moments, you broke free, both breathless.

"That should do it." He grinned.

You snapped up in your bed, profusely sweating.

What the…?

-------

Across town, Rafael shot up in the bed next to Olivia.

"Rafa? Rafa what is it?"

".....Nothing, amante." He rubbed his lips, trying like mad to remember the dream he had just woken up from.

All he could focus on was that kiss…

"Nothing go back to sleep," he kissed her forehead and turned back towards the door going back to sleep.

Olivia just stared at his sleeping body. She didn't like this. She didn't like it one bit.

[maybe-your-left]

Girl please give us more dr ren I’m begging

Dr. is what we all need this holiday season, and this Dr. Oneshot is inspired by a dream I had.  sooooooo... also this is like the longest oneshot I've ever written and I'm not sorry

HIPAA Violation Universe!

YOU READ IT RIGHT, I AM THROWING THIS INTO THE UNIVERSE OF SURGEON KYLO. SO SAME TW APPLY. THIS IS PRE COMING OUT IN PUBLIC WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH REN!!!

SPOILER, THIS IS REALLY LONG I GOT CARRIED AWAY. 

TW: NSFW, AGE GAP (14 YEARS BC I MADE HIM ADAM DRIVERS AGE), THROWING IN A FEW NEW ELEMENTS TRY TO KEEP UP, ANAL SEX, DOUBLE PENETRATION, DIRTY TALK, NASTI BOI DR. REN. 

You sat on your couch, a bowl of popcorn in your lap as you watched White Christmas on Netflix. It had been a really long day, you had to drive your friend to the doctor's office, the same doctor you had started fucking for the past two months, then have to sit at lunch with her and listen to her gush about how handsome he is. All while you had to pretend like you didn’t notice because he was a paranoid control freak who ‘wasn’t ready to put a label on us’.

Rose had texted you about wanting to meet up for the evening, saying something about ‘since I got my cast off we need to have wine night!’. You hastily ignored the messages, wanting to sulk in private after Ren ignored you at the appointment. The least he could do to the girl he had been sticking his dick into every evening, was say hello or shoot them a text that said how cute you looked. But no, you hadn’t heard from him all day, and you knew when his breaks were. 

You shoveled a handful of popcorn in your mouth, ready to drown it with a gulp of the Margarita you made when your door flew open. 

“Love, take your pants off-.” 

Ren stood in your entryway, making direct eye contact with your mouthful of popcorn. His face was completely devoid of emotion, slowly shutting the door, still not breaking eye contact, and setting his briefcase on the kitchen island. He shucked off his lab coat and draped over one of the barstools before he began to unbuckle his belt. “You know junk food isn’t healthy for you.” 

“Mphf.” 

“Chew your food.” 

You swallowed, blindly reaching for your drink and taking a long gulp while staring at his dark eyes. Ren’s left eyebrow raised as he watched you, yanking his belt out of his pant loops. He gripped it in his left hand as he stalked over to you, “It’s a little early to be drinking, isn’t it? You’re being very naughty tonight.” 

You glared at him, standing from the couch with your arms folded across your chest. “I don’t think I said you could come over tonight.” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” 

“Um,” you stopped when you were chest to chest with him, “Because it’s my apartment and I control who comes over.” 

“Oh, you do?” he smirked at you, “Then why am I standing here?” 

“Because you’re an asshole.” 

He snorted, quickly grabbing your jaw with his free hand and digging his forefinger and thumb into either side. “You are just begging to be punished, and here I thought you wanted me to come over. Like you have every night since I fucked your whore brains out for the first time.” 

“Stoppit,” you tried to spit back at him, your face beginning to ache from his strong grip. You brought your hands up, trying to claw his from your face but it was no use, he was too strong. So you settled for pouting, giving him your sad, puppy eyes. 

Ren hummed, bringing your face close to his own. Enough to rub his strong nose against yours as he spoke, “You’re so lucky that I like you.” 

Your eyebrows shot up, pulled together in confusion. Ren only laughed at you, placing a kiss to your own swollen lips before he pulled away, “Why are you surprised?” 

You yanked away from him, stumbling into the back of your couch, “You’ve never said anything like that before...” 

“God you're dumb,” Ren groaned, beginning to roll up his sleeves before he began to unbutton his pants like he originally did. “Would I have risked my career for you if I didn’t?” 

“Well,” you looked away, scuffing the floor with your slipper as you mumbled, “Why didn’t you say anything when I came in today...” 

His pants fell to the ground, stepping out of them while he laughed again, “What am I supposed to say, Hey sweetie, who's your friend?” 

“No,” you wiped your nose with your sleeve, ignoring Ren as he moved towards you and wrapped his arms around your waist. He rocked his body into yours, humming in your ear as he kissed behind it, “I’m trying to not make it obvious that I fucked you at my office.” Ren slid his hands under your sweater, his cold hands causing you to hiss into his shoulder, “I know you want me to be publically affectionate with you, but it’s too soon after your surgery to do that. Not while I’m still treating you for your recovery.” 

You nodded, realizing that you technically were still his patient. You had a follow-up exam in 4 months with him and after that, you wouldn’t be an ‘active patient’ anymore. It made sense now that you thought about it, but you still didn’t like it. You sighed into him, bringing your hands up to his shoulders and squeezing them, so he knew you heard him. Ren kissed the side of your head, mumbling into your hair, “Now, can you take your pants off, please.” 

Five minutes later, Ren was fucking you from behind. You were on your hands and knees on top of your mattress, wailing as his cock tore into you. He thrust into you fast and hard, moaning above you as he scratched down your bareback. “You’re such a good girl, taking me so well.” 

“Fuck-Kylo-don’t stop I’m gonna cum!” 

Ren grabbed your right thigh, swiftly rolling you onto your back and popping his cock out of you. He placed a heavy palm on your lower belly and shoved two fingers inside your cunt. Twisting and fucking your slick out of you as you writhed, his fingers were just long enough to hit your g-spot, but not enough to make you cum. You wiggled around, begging for him to let you cum, but he just shook his head. Long hair covering up his face while he watched your cunt swallow his fingers. Ren spat on your clit, bringing his thumb down to press on it. Mouth popping open in awe as you screamed, “Yes! Yes! Fuck!” 

Just as you were on the cusp once again, he yanked his hand out of you. Thumb leaving your clit, pulling your bottom up to perch on the tops of his thighs. Bringing your cunt high in the air, and your asshole level with his cock. He watched your face turn red with fury, waiting until you opened your mouth to yell at him before he shoved his slick fingers into your asshole. 

“Oh my god,” you wailed, eyes rolling back into your head as he started a brutal pace of working your rim open. 

“Such a slut,” he chastised you, fucking his fingers faster into your asshole, “Listen to you, you’re just letting me fuck this hole open. Do you want my cock in here?” 

You nodded silently, mouth opening and closing as you cried. 

“Where do you want it?” 

“My-my ass,” you cried. Wiggling your hips working his fingers inside you more and more. He stalled, keeping his two digits fully inside you as he watched your breathing calm down. “Reach into your drawer, and grab that silly toy you have.” 

“Wh-what toy?” 

“Don’t be coy whore,” he hissed, “Grab that sorry excuse for a cock out of there and stick it in your mouth. Get it nice and wet for me.” 

You reached over to the drawer, whining as you moved. His fingers wouldn’t budge inside you, he even started to lean over you as he watched you scramble for it. You practically cried when you produced it, looking at him and waiting for his praise. “Well?” he asked.

“I got it,” you rasped, your voice breaking from your screams. He tore it from your hand, his open dwarfing it from his size. Bringing the silicone to your lips as he commanded you to open wide. You quickly popped open, moaning as he shoved the length of it down your throat, clasping his palm over the base so you couldn’t cough it out. Ren started fucking you again with his fingers, watching in awe as you sucked the cock as he commanded. 

You rolled your tongue around it the best you could, gagging on the length that tickled the back of your throat. You shut your eyes in bliss, loving the feeling of him stretching you out until he pulled his fingers from you. Swiftly replacing it with his cock head and ramming into you with little remorse. 

“Uh-yes-Fuck, squeeze my cock,” he moaned, pushing in all the way inside you. Rens eyes briefly flashed to your own, watching your face contorted from pain to pleasure as he thrust in and out of you. Your ass slowly becoming numb to his movements, pleasure pouring out of your neglected cunt, dripping down to the base of his cock each time he pulled out. Ren fucked you for a few more minutes like this, keeping his hand over your mouth to force you to choke on the silicone. While he tore you apart on his fat cock. 

Ren stopped fully inside you, panting over you, “Is that nice and wet, love?” 

You nodded behind his hand, letting out a muffled yes. He popped it out of your mouth, leaning back to inspect the spit that was collected on it. A dark smile graced his perfect lips as he brought it down to your cunt, his only warning a soft command, “If it starts to hurt, say red.” 

Ren shoved the length of the cock inside your cunt, smiling as you screamed out in pleasure. Heaving as he started to fuck you again in the ass, using one hand to keep the base of the other cock inside your cunt to the brim. You were drunk on the feeling of his cock pushing against the dildo, feeling your walls stretch and constrict each time he thrust inside you. Ren was moaning as much as you were, babbling about how good you were, ‘a good whore, taking two cocks for him, letting him fuck you however he wanted.’ 

You nodded in pleasure, cunt weeping around the dildo as he tore your ass open. Ren growled at you, “Fuck your cunt, show me how you like to be fucked.” 

You wasted no time grabbing the base from him, letting his hands pry your legs open further so he could better fuck you. Ren growled at you when you took it completely out watching you shove it back inside yourself, attempting to match his pace. Both of you were moaning and crying out, your cunt was squelching out wetness each time you pushed back inside. You brought a hand down to your hole, scooping some out with your first and second finger. Bringing the wetness to your clit, instantly crying out when you touched it. 

“Fuck, you just squeezed me so fucking hard, are you gonna cum?” Ren pleaded, his forehead slicked with sweat. His chest was red and splotchy, muscles overexerting their strength as he held back his release. You nodded at him, moaning out yes yes yes.

“Cum with me baby, cum while I fill your dirty ass up.” 

Both of you cried out, loud enough for you to hear your neighbor pound on your shared wall. You mumbled out a drunken ‘sorry’ as you felt Ren cum inside you. Softly pulling the silicone out of your abused cunt, followed by Ren wincing as he pulled his cock out of you. Softly petting the backs of your thighs as he cooed at you, “God you’re so beautiful, so made for me.” 

He leaned over your body, placing a kiss on your lips. Lingering for a few moments as you both sighed in relief. Ren rolled onto his back, letting you both have a moment to catch your breath, his right hand finding its way into your knotted hair. Trying to detangle the pieces he had ruined, you pulled your head away. Whining as you sat up, turning to look at his blissed-out face, “Want me to go heat up some leftovers?” 

“Please,” he croaked. 

----- 

WAIT IM NOT DONE YET! I HAVE MORE TO SAY BUT THIS PART IS SFW. 

-----

You slipped on your bathrobe, waddling to the kitchen while you tied your hair back into a decent bun. You cleared the island off, placing his briefcase and his keys next to the front door, he's notorious for forgetting them when he leaves in the mornings. You popped the leftovers in the microwave, taking a sip from your room temperature margarita while you waited. 

KNOCK KNOCK 

“Ugh, probably the neighbor,” you grumbled. Pulling your robe tight over your naked body, glancing through the doorway to your room to see if Ren was somewhat clothed, or hidden from public viewing. You whipped the door open ready to apologize profusely when you were pushed aside. 

“Hey, girl!” Rose yipped, slightly limping on her freshly uncasted knee. She was followed by your friends Bazine and Finn who had very large wine bottles in their clutches. “You weren’t answering your phone, and you were so bummed out after my doctors' appointment today so I thought you could use some company!” 

“Yeah, we even brought you your favorite bottle!” Finn squealed. Quickly grabbing the bottle opener from your kitchen and uncorking the Red Blend. Bazine gave you a smile, “And I got out of my family dinner, my dad’s pissed because my uncle bailed too but I wanted to see you!” 

“Uh,” you choked, “It’s not really a good time, I was just-uh-hopping in the shower!” 

“Its okay, we've all seen you naked before,” Rose rolled her eyes, propping her leg up on an empty seat as she took a drink. 

“And it’s not like you’re doing anything-,” 

“Love, have you seen my pants? My pager went off and I can't find my-” Ren came out of the bedroom, only dressed in his boxers and socks. Freezing as all eyes turned to him. He slowly covered his nether region with one arm, eyes flashing over to you for help. You opened your mouth to speak but were cut off. 

“Doctor Ren?” 

“Uncle Kylo?” 

You quickly spun to look at Rose and Bazine, Rose was staring at him with a huge smile while Bazine was completely mortified. Ren quickly shuffled towards the couch, grabbing his pants and running into the bedroom. The door slamming shut, behind it you heard Ren swearing in a fit of rage. Both heads swiveled to you, the microwave beeping the only sound in the room. You gave them a weak smile, darting to the bedroom right behind him. 

Inside Ren was furious, angrily throwing his pants on. He wrestled with his undershirt while you scrambled for his dress shirt, batting his hand away from the buttons since he was too mad to do them himself. “Why the fuck are they here!?” he hissed. 

“I don't know! I haven’t checked my phone all night!” 

“Jesus,” he groaned, “Why is my niece here? Drinking? She is not 21 yet, why is she even your friend?” 

“Okay,” you scoffed, “I didn’t know Baz was your niece, second you do not get to blame me for my friends coming over when you do it unannounced all the time!” Ren wiggled out of your grasp, moving to the side of your bed that had his shoes while he continued to angrily dress. “Well, I got called back to work so you have fun with your little friends. Gossiping about how you’re fucking your friend's uncle AND your doctor. Fuck my brothers going to kill me.” 

He burst out of the bedroom, avoiding eye contact with everyone as he moved towards the front door. Yanking the lab coat from behind Bazine, before he shot a glance at Rose, “I see you aren’t wearing the brace I gave you Miss Tico.” 

Rose giggled, opening her mouth for a retort but Ren grabbed his briefcase and slammed the front door before she could utter a word. You walked to the kitchen, reaching for four wine glasses before facing the crowd. Silently grabbing the bottle from Finn’s hand and pouring yourself a healthy glass. Finn cleared his throat, “So, wanna talk about what just happened?” 

You leaned on the counter, rubbing your face with your hands before peaking through your fingers, “It’s nothing.” 

“You should’ve told us you were sleeping with him!” Rose squealed, her enthusiasm far too high for your liking. Bazine poured herself a glass before she spoke, “You know he has a kid right?” 

“I did not know that,” you mumbled into your palm, “It doesn’t matter he won’t be coming back.” 

Your front door flew open once more, proving you wrong on the spot, as Ren stormed back in. Snatching his keys from the counter before he spoke, “Baz I won’t tell Ben that you’re drinking if you keep your mouth shut about this, deal?” 

She nodded her head quickly, muttering in reply, “Thank you, Uncle Ky.” 

He turned to you, chewing the inside of his chew as he approached. Ren sighed when he stepped next to you, placing a soft kiss on your temple while he mumbled, “I’m sorry for being rude, Love. I’ll come get you in the morning for breakfast.” With that, he ran out again, the door shutting for the final time tonight. You grabbed your wine glass and began to drink again, downing about half before you spoke. 

“So he has a kid?”

------

HAHAHAHAHA IM SORRY BUT I AM CACKLING AT MYSELF. ALSO BAZINE IS 20 IN THIS, WE AGAIN ARE 22 LIKE IN THE FIRST HIPAA VIOLATIONS. YOU'RE WELCOME. 

@finn-ray-nal-beads @historyandfandoms50

[bangtanxm]

Bookclub; April Highlight

This month’s theme is “Fluff, Fluffier, Bangtan!” asking for our bookclub members to find the most fluffiest stories to recommend for this month. These are our our monthly fanfic recommendations from our bangtanxm; bookclub!

In the following you find a list of fics we recommend and reviewed this month. Please support these amazing authors! Happy Reading!

PS. Next month will be a ‘break’. We will be back with a new concept for the bookclub! Please watch out for the official announcement!

BOOKCLUB; recommendations

HOME written by @cassiavioletblue & @softjeon

» Series; Namjoon x Yoongi (Platonic) » Summary; Namjoon watched Yoongi strutting after him over his shoulder and sighed. He couldn’t believe he’s really done it; paying too much money for a hybrid that would bite him if given the chance when all he had wanted was a cute, little - very much harmless - kitten to begin with. » Disclaimer; anxiety, insomnia

bookclub; review

“Ahhh, so cute. I love the idea of Yoongi as a fox, such a perfectly fitting hybrid choice for him. His fear and insecurities really showed through in a realistic way, but were dealt with so sweetly by Namjoon (and vice versa once they warmed up to one another). I really loved Jungkook’s character as well, always the bunny boy; such a sweet soul who’s just happy for friends. It’s so true to his personality as we know him. And the ending was perfect. I was so scared it was going to end bittersweet in some way, but it was just adorable with him trying to be all cute and sneaky coming back into the home. Loved it.”

“if you want a fic that makes you cry because it is so soft, then this is the one to go to! my heart still hurts so much until this day! what an amazing story!”

UNEXPECTED COMPANY written by @yoongified

» One-Shot; Yoongi x Jungkook (Platonic) » Summary; In which Yoongi is terribly afraid of spiders. Luckily, Jungkook isn’t. » Disclaimer; spiders 

bookclub; review

“the sweetest cutest little fic ever; i literally want to know more about how little kook saves his hyung! it was so sweetly written and their relationship is very clear which although it's just a little short fluff makes it a deeper story”

“AAAAHHHH! I've been seeing this fic everywhere and I know I've reblogged it once or twice and I finally got the chance to read it! I definitely relate to Yoongi with the spider, even reading it made my skin CRAWL I wish I had Jungkook to take care stuff like that for me OOF this was so adorably written I love it when writers show Yoongis softer side in stories I just burst so many uwus this was very well done!” [flowerwrites06]

THE GARDEN WALL written by @chimknj​

>>One-Shot; Namjoon x Fairy!Jimin >>Summary; The window in the garden wall has been boarded up forever, but tonight a dull, violet light pulses in the cracks.. >>Disclaimer; None

bookclub; review

“The Garden Wall is a short and sweet prompt-inspired fic perfect for lovers of whimsy, gardens, flowers, fairies, Kim Namjoon, Park Jimin, or all of the above. It is an enchanting glimpse into a land ripe with possibilities for expansion. The beautifully crafted imagery transports you into Namjoon’s world and his chance encounter with the fae leaves you wishing that you, too, can journey beyond the wall.” @ourownwings 

"You really need a certain amount of talent to be able to sketch and colour a world in less than 1k words and Gina definitely did exactly that! In a small piece I could already see the world before my eyes and it leaves me wanting more and more. Also fairy Jimin is a downright CLASSIC THAT TROPE SHOULD NEVER DIE fjfgfjgjn a really good piece!!” [flowerwrites06]

“Gina has an amazing way of telling a story and filling up a whole scenario within just a couple of words. A sweet drabble for a sweet afternoon, when you enjoy your cup of tea.”

KISS ME QUIETLY written by @cassiavioletblue & @softjeon

» Series; Yoongi x Jungkook » Summary; Yoongi always said what was on his mind, while Jungkook was shy, fearful and just like a wallflower he was quickly overseen. Yoongi wore leather jackets, had tattoos while Jungkook wore soft, baby blue sweaters with sleeves that were way too long. Yoongi was everything he wasn’t. Not that he cared, but men like Yoongi didn’t care about boys like Jungkook. That’s just how it always been like until… » Disclaimer; mentioning of alcohol, selective mutism, tooth rotting fluff

bookclub; review

“This fic was such tooth rotting fluff, my goodness. And such an interesting premise, I can’t even begin. I feel like it really was written in a good, kind way so that those with things like selective mutism and the like wouldn’t be offended. Yoongi was so beautifully kind and tolerant, going out of his way to make sure Jungkook felt welcomed and safe even though he ‘couldn’t’ talk. And of course the twinge of angst made their makeup and happy ending so much more special. Such a perfect fic.”

“THIS IS IT! THIS WAS IT! THIS WILL FOREVER BE IT. I just want to know more. What’s their first date going to be like? Will they find a way to communicate without words whenever Jungkook gets to shy? Will their love truly conquer? ahhhhhh this was the sweetest!”

“This is the perfect fluff fic!”

“Im absolutely in awe at how sweet and lovely this fic was! I don't think I've felt this soft in a while and I couldn't help getting so invested in Yoongi and Kookie's relationship. It's like the perfect "opposite attract" and the bluntness vs. the shyness just worked so well!”

SWEETER THAN SWEET written by @yoongified

» Series; Yoongi x Hoseok » Summary; In his second year, Hoseok discovers dance, befriends Jungkook and his silly friends — and makes the mistake of falling head over heels for Park Jimin’s boyfriend. » Disclaimer; mentions of smut, implied smut, alcohol, swearing, toxic relationships (from the past)

bookclub; review

“This is such a promising start to this fic. Though a wip, the author really was able to capture Hoseok as a character - his insecurities and worries, as well as giving the readers just enough information to really be intrigued about him and his backstory. The other characters are great as well, endearing, sweet, and a little infuriating, and each one really fits bts as we know them in a way - Namjoon’s attention to work and Jin’s and Jungkook’s friendliness, etc. An excellent start and I’m quite curious where the rest of the fic will go!”

“I’M HOOKED! Hoseok is such a different character that here from what I’m used to read. I already love it a lot and I can’t wait to see what’s upcoming and how he will cope with falling in love with Yoongi.”

WOLFSBANE written by @cassiavioletblue & @softjeon

» Series; Wolf!Yoongi x Wolf!Jungkook » Summary; For a a few short hopeful minutes he thought that maybe he could just have Jungkook here at his place for a little while longer, maybe it would take the others a few days to find him, maybe they were busy with something else - but he was fooling himself, he knew that and when he could hear the sound of paws drumming on earth he knew that this little adventure of Jungkook’s was already over. » Disclaimer; mention of violence, light graphic content, smut

bookclub; review

“Such a great story. Really a spectacular mix of both angst and fluff, with the ups and downs of a truly well written piece. The emotional shifts and growth with all of the characters, not just Jungkook and Yoongi, were excellently played and so moving. And of course the end, the happy satisfaction that Yoongi was finally happy, Jungkook found his home, and that things may begin to change for the better. I loved the other members as well, Namjoon and Taehyung were adorably written and such vital characters for Jungkook’s development. Great work.”

“Amazing plot and story-telling. I was hooked from the first word until the last! Within a few chapters, these two manage to suck you into a whole new world!”

PAGE BY PAGE written by @sujigguk

» One-Shot; Yoongi x Jimin » Summary; Bookworm and frequent bookstore dweller, Park Jimin, has been harbouring a crush on Yoongi, the assistant at his favourite establishment, for months now. Min Yoongi, heir to his father’s beloved bookshop, has been dropping subtle hints that he’s into Jimin, waiting for him to realise that the novels he offers as recommendations aren’t simply a coincidence.

bookclub; review

“Page by Page is a warm hug, a fresh cup of tea, an afternoon curled up under a blanket with your favorite book. Its atmosphere is crafted as lovingly as the characters, thoughtful bookworm Jimin and clever store clerk Yoongi, and I promise you will fall in love with all three (or four, including Jimin’s daring best friend, Taehyung). Bibliophiles and lovers of book shops or libraries will find a sanctuary in the charming aisles of Sugar and Spice. A gentle romance blossoms from shy glances through the stacks and secret messages sent via books. I could not stop smiling while rooting for Jimin and Yoongi to solve each other’s mysteries. All stories must end, but like in my favorite books, I found the ending bittersweet because I wanted to keep living in these pages.” [ourownwings]

“She has a way of telling a story so uniquely that you just fall in love with their love. It is just sooooooo sweet!”

SING ME TO SLEEP written by remi_niscent

» One-Shot; Yoongi x Jungkook, Jimin x Taehyung » Summary; When Yoongi finally pulled himself out of his bedroom and fell asleep on the park bench during a rainstorm, he never expected to wake up to a world full of colours. Jungkook never thought that he would meet his soulmate in a park during the rain, but he could suddenly see the colours from the light across the road. Neither of them thought that a conversation could be held on your arm with pens, but they chatted until there was no skin left to write on. So what happens when one of them is ready to take things a step further but the other is still figuring himself out? » Disclaimer; mentioning of alcohol

bookclub; review

“I usually don't read a lot of Soulmate AU's but this was so freaking adorable!! I really loved Yoonkooks friends trying to be matchmakers throughout the whole thing it was hilarious and when Yoongi thanked Jungkook for the colours I ALMOST STARTED UGLY SOBBING THAT WAS DANGEROUS TO MY HEART OKAY hear me when I say I'm not an adamant fluff reader but this was such a heartwarmer!!” I loved everything about it!! [flowerwrites06]

“AMAZING! SHOWSTOPPING AND SO GOD DAMN ADORABLE!”

WASTE IT ON ME written by @yoongified

» One-Shot; Taehyung x Jungkook » Summary; A troubled artist, in search of inspiration, stumbles into a bar and finds everything he’s been looking for. » Disclaimer; casual drinking

bookclub; review

“WOW. So this fic was unbelievable. The first thing I have to comment on is just the beauty of the prose. It felt like a painting in itself. So much detail and flowery (but appropriate) descriptions that just flowed along the page. I feel like the author really was able to capture the painter’s spirit within Taehyung and it came out so forcefully within this writing. It’s absolutely stunning. And of course the descriptions of the characters and their own personalities – mysterious and just as artistic and flowing as Tae’s own paintings. It really felt like everything was told from his painter’s vision and that was such a unique and gorgeous way to tell the story, and so fulfilling to read.”

“What an unique piece of a story! At first you think...okay this might be your typical drunk stumbling into a bar troubled artist - au but it’s not....it is wonderful!”

SAMHAINS BLESSING written by @cassiavioletblue​ & @softjeon​

» One-Shot; Witch!Yoongi x Vampire!Taehyung » Summary; How little vampire Tae found his way to Yoongi. » Disclaimer; mentioning of blood

bookclub; review

“If you prefer your Halloween celebrations sweet rather than spooky, then Samhain’s Blessing is the treat for you! Adapting to his new vampire abilities is not going well for the hopelessly adorable Taehyung, until he falls—quite literally—into the life of Yoongi, an adept witch with a soft spot for animals. The tale that unfolds has many moments with “bat eating banana” levels of cuteness (look it up, you won’t regret it), as well as my new favorite appearance of a sieve in any work of fiction. Of course, the story by this prolific writing duo can be enjoyed year-round, no Halloween required. I only wish I had found it sooner! Now if you’ll excuse me, some cute bat videos are calling…”[ourownwings]

“This fic was so SO CUTE. I really liked that Taehyung wasn’t a perfect, sexy, badass vampire. This is often the case with vampires in fics, but he was rather a misfit and just sweet and cute. I think it really worked for Taeyung’s personality, as well as for the fic itself, letting the two bond in a really adorable way. “I’m Taehyung and I suck at being a vampire.” Cracked me up so much. Also the imagery of Tae in his bat form is just too good; I love bats anyway and him as a sweet little hoppity-bat not wanting to hurt anyone and just being generally fluffy and adorable is too precious. And the really soft, happy ending was great, the knowledge that they’ll figure it out one way or another is just A+; working things out and making an overall amazing couple.”

A SONG OF FIRE AND FRUIT SMOOTHIES written by teecysh

» One-Shot; Dragon!Namjoon x Jimin » Summary; Namjoon is part dragon, and to his complete and utter embarassment, he can’t stop collecting cute things for his hoard. Which would be fine except Jimin is the cutest person he’s ever seen and it’s becoming a real struggle not to collect him too…

bookclub; review

“omg this is one of my favorite little minjoon stories! how sweet jimin is towards the dragon?? omg can i shout about it all day? i love how intrigued namjoon is and how he slowly gets closer until he finally takes jimin with him haha such a fun concept!”

“The title alone hooked me haha, but to then see what it was about made me squeal. Namjoon just loving cute things and Jimin being one of those cute things is the best minjoon thing. It's made better by the fact that he's a dragon who has a love for adorable things <3 It was also really well written and paced so that it didn't seem to be going to fast or too slow. Both of them are so good together, and I love how Jimin reacted to Namjoon. It seemed so real haha”

“The premise of this story had me lining up to read it as quickly as Jimin’s smoothie truck customers, and by the time I finished, I was absolutely smitten. The characters really shine, as the author is faithful to their established personalities. Namjoon is curious yet painfully shy, with a penchant for taking advice a little too literally. Jimin is a hard-working sweetheart who sees past his new observer’s unusual social etiquette as well as the small detail that he is, in fact, a dragon. The tale that unfolds is humorous and heart-warming as Namjoon navigates how to invite Jimin to join his horde of “cute things,” with some delightful appearances of Yoongi and Hoseok in supporting roles. A Song of Fire and Fruit Smoothies is as sweet and refreshing as Jimin’s titular treats.” [ourownwings]

— Join the Bookclub here! — official post — faq

[datleggy]

a list of every anime i love/recommend, accumulated over the last 10+ years

1. NATSUME YUUJINCHOU 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is a teenage boy named Natsume, whose parents died when he was too young to remember them properly. He’s passed around random relatives homes, but because he can see yokai (spirits), he’s ostracized by classmates and his foster families (ALL HIS CHILDHOOD FLASHBACKS ARE SO FUCKING SAD) and eventually very distant relatives (an older couple who never had kids of their own and have so much goddamn love to give D:!!!) take Natsume in, and the story basically starts from there. 

It’s a very heart-warming story following Natsume’s new life in this new town, accepting his ability to see yokai, forging new relationships in the form of friends and family, and even with the yokai themselves. 

This is honestly probably my favorite anime/manga period, because it’s so sad but so cathartic and you watch as the main character grows and learns to trust those around him, and finally gets the unconditional love he’s always deserved, not to MENTION THE FACT THAT THEY DO A WHOLE EP WHERE NATSUME IS TURNED BACK INTO A LITTLE KID AND IT IS SOOOO GOOD OMG

Plus for those of you who enjoy whump, this show has a decent amount of it. Mainly emotional whump, but also some episodes where Natsume is injured or sick--as well as I believe one where his companion (the chubby cat on his shoulder who’s actually a pretty badass yokai) gets shot with an arrow and is down for the count. 

10/10 would and have watched again. 

2. KODOCHA NO OMOCHA 

SUMMARY/REVIEW:  The main character is a sixth grader named Sana. She’s a gifted actress on a t.v. show everyone likes and she’s silly and fun, very intuitive and surprisingly empathetic for a child. 

Her main problem is in school, where Akito, who she deems the leader of her class’ wolf pack of rowdy rude boys, lets them terrorize not just the teacher, but all the girls in class, as well. 

I don’t really want to give a lot away, so I’ll just state the obvious. This anime/manga is shoujo, which means that it does focus on a romantic relationship throughout the series. Mainly the one between Sana and Akito. Sana is absolutely oblivious about her own feelings, while Akito is a stubborn little shit. 

I remember watching this at like, age 12 maybe? And I really enjoyed it because (although I do enjoy your typical silly doesn’t take itself too seriously slice of life shoujo) this particular anime, while super funny and light hearted at times, was also really dramatic and even kinda dark, which was surprising considering the characters ages and the general kid-friendly vibe (especially the opening for the anime). 

3. DETECTIVE CONAN

SUMMARY/REVIEW:  Our main character is initially Shinichi Kudo, teenage detective, who’s on a date with childhood sweetheart Ran (whose father also happens to a detective but like....not a good one lmao), when his nosy ass self decides to go and check out some shady business and gets “poisoned”. 

The poison he’s given is intended to kill him, but what it actually does is turn him back into a child. And now, as Conan Edogawa, (who’s 7 but like....we just supposed to believe all these cops and detectives on the force are cool with a seven year old wee lil babe on these really gruesome ass crime scenes??? lmaoooo) we follow him on his adventures as he solves crimes and tries to solve the biggest mystery of all, his own! 

I absolutely LOVE this anime/manga, even though I’ll be honest, there is SO MUCH FILLER, but I like the characters enough that I really don’t mind. The show is at least 900+ episodes in at this point, and there are a total of 26 movies so far, last time I checked. 

Also, the show is a whump fangirls’ dream come true. The main character is thrown out of windows, balconies, shot at, and in one occasion actually shot, he’s had broken bones, sprains, almost been blown up or drowned/burned, been sick, and oh, his occasional transformations from child to teenager are incredibly painful. 

This show is probably at fault for my love of whump, since it was one of my first animes at like, age 9. smh. 

4. THE DEVIL IS A PART-TIMER!

REVIEW:

I’m not even going to summarize this one. The title does it for me. This is truly one of the funniest animes I’ve ever seen. Motherfuckin Satan works at a McDonalds part time and it is the BEST. 

Technically I would count this show as a kind of harem, but only because there are like three main girl characters after the overlord Satan himself. I usually dislike harem type animes but the way this is done is sooooo good I couldn’t resist. 

I would watch a million filler episodes of Satan trying to solve problems at his minimum wage job tbh. I love every single character, I love the plot, I love everything about this anime! In terms of comedy (with the occasional plot driven serious moments) this is IT bro. 

5. BLACK BUTLER

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is Ciel Phantomhive (roughly 14 years old). His parents are killed, his house is burned to ashes, and he’s kidnapped (around age 9 or 10 I believe) and abused. During this abuse Ciel calls upon a demon to free him and help him get revenge on those who harmed the Phantomhive household, which is where Sebastian, one “hell of a good butler” comes in. 

We then follow Ciel and Sebastian on their path of vengeance, and along the way we meet Ciel’s human servants, three very clumsy and seemingly bad at their given tasks characters (i love them all), and some of his extended relatives and connections. 

My favorite thing about Black Butler is the art, both in the anime and manga. Everything is so detailed and pretty! 

The characters are interesting, the plot is dark but they manage to make most of the series overall pretty light-hearted and funny in general. Though of course there are chapters/parts of the series that get really grim (which duh, the whole thing focuses on revenge so...) 

I have to say, the arc I enjoyed the most has to be the movie, Black Butler: Book Of the Atlantic. It is beautifully drawn and sooooooo entertaining. 

6. INUYASHA 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

Our main characters are Inuyasha, a half-demon, who’s been in a sort of spiritually binding coma for the last few decades, and fourteen year old Kagome, who falls into an old well in her family’s shrine and finds herself being transported into another time period. 

Together, she and Inuyasha travel across the lands in the feudal era to find the scattered shards of the shikon jewel, a powerful jewel which grants anyone who possesses it ultimate power. 

I was too young to stay up and watch Inuyasha on adult swim, so my mom would tape the show on a VCR for me to watch the next day after school--yes, I’m old old. lmaoooo I ADORE this show. 

It’s so good! It’s got everything! A tortured lil half-demon with a sad past who’s stubborn and rude but got a good heart! A fierce and equally as stubborn main protagonist, who’s whole ass family knows exactly where she goes off to??? and are supportive af????? like???? her mama packs her and her squad of demon/exorcist/demon hunter pals bentos?!?! lmao i love it. 

The characters are awesome and funny and likable as all heck, and of course they all have their sad backstory, but like, unlike some animes (lookin at YOU Naruto) they don’t go mega overboard on it, at least not without some plot behind the episode. 

7. YU YU HAKUSHO 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

Before I even start in on the summary, ya’ll should watch this soley bc of the cute ass 90′s style animation alone. LOOK AT ALL THAT SHINY HAIR!

ANYWAY. Main character is teenage hooligan and overall cutie pie Yusuke! He gets struck by a car and fucking DIES in the first episode after shoving a little boy out of the way, only to end up in the spirit world where the head honcho up there (who looks like a wee baby) tells him “Oh shit, didn’t expect you to like, actually do anything self-sacrificing EVER so like, you’re not on our list of people who were supposed to die today...” 

And uh, I don’t wanna give anything away, so I’m just gonna say that if you haven’t seen this anime yet, you definitely should! It’s hilarious and dramatic, the fight scenes are very well done, all the side characters, who eventually become main characters are a blessing (specifically Hiei, who’ve I’ve had a crush on since I was 12) and the ending is a satisfying one, which you can’t really say for a lot of media. 

8. CHRONO CRUSADE 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

I still get weepy when I think of this anime, so all I’ll say is it’s about a badass demon slaying nurse and her demon companion and some very tragic shit. 

It’s a great anime overall, especially if you like crying yourself to sleep at night :) 

9. GHOST HUNT

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is high school student Mai, who is hired by Naru, the head of a Shibuya psychic research, and together, with a group of questionable exorcists/psychics, they encounter paranormal phenomenons and some outright scary shit. 

I’m not really a fan of the horror genre tbh but I do like mystery, and the series deals with that quite a bit. They deal with each case for several episodes so nothing feels too rushed. 

The series is really fun in a creepy, wtf is that way. I recommend the manga, only because it’s more detailed in terms of plot than the anime. 

10. ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

I didn’t really make this list in any particular order but if I had to say, Assassination Classroom and Natsume Yuujinchou probably tie for BEST ANIME PERIOD! 

This anime is about a weird ass “alien” creature, no one knows where it came from or why tf it’s here on earth, all they know is that in one year it’s threatened to blow the world up. 

His only request to the government is that they let him become a teacher for Class E, the worst class of Kunugigaoka Junior High School, and he will stay put, so that they can attempt an assassination on him during this one year period. 

AND LISTEN! I am a shallow hoe, so I literally never would have read this manga or watched the series had I not been roaming Barnes and Noble one day with my S.O. and picked it up to read as a JOKE! 

I was hooked after the first chapter and I am soooooooo glad I picked this manga up, bc it is absolutely not the type I would normally go for, cover art wise. I finally, after many many years, learned not to judge a book by its cover bc LORD this anime is so goddamn good, you don’t understand! Like, I’ve watched it so many times and still laugh at the same parts, cry at the same parts, am proud af at the same parts! like, this anime is an instant classic and should definitely be more popular than it is. 

assassination classroom and natsume yuujinchou????? MASTERPIECES! 

[oumiyuki]

If you could spend an entire day with Honoka, what would you do?

Just stare at her

(* >ωᴗ

If say, I just woke up and she’s at my door and we got an entire day together. We would first have a good hearty breakfast! Freshly baked bread and delicious strawberry jam to spread across them and we chow down on them while we smile and a little chatter. Honoka gushing about the bread and me gushing about the sweetness and blushy lil’ o’ me as I say “it’s extra sweeter cos I’m eating it...with you.” ///w/// kya~ hehe~

(also there’s milkshake while we eat! or tea :3 because we are both tea people)

Then we’d go on to get a start-the-day-shower, and Honoka is so sweet and saying “how bout we get in the bath together?” but I’m ..!!!! (♡´艸`)（♥￫ｏ￩♥） “No..No...I..We...We couldn’t- *cough cough cough clears throat three times four*

“Okay!” Honoka chirps and gets in the shower first and then I do too. And I’m like, we smell the same, we smell the same now. Cos we used the same shampoo and body wash, and ahhh, Honoka!! (⺣◡⺣)♡*(⺣◡⺣)♡*(⺣◡⺣)♡*

Honoka then suggests going for some outside, fresh air. I’m a bit apprehensive in thought as I’m such an indoor girl. Honoka smiles patiently and says we don’t have to if I don’t wanna. That kinda flips my switch of not wanting to hold others back. So I quickly shake my head to say “no, no! we can go out! but where to?” 0o0`

Honoka beams and takes my hand. I’m surprised I haven’t faint yet. But internal Miyuki is doing that long gasp thingy people do when they are in awe but dying but loving every single moment of what’s happening kinda gasp XD

We leave the house and end up in the grocery store and I’m wondering why we’re here but also guessing, well, to buy food! Honoka nods with that angelic smile of hers. “Let’s get food we both like to cook~”

I smile my happy-fluttery-in love smile because I LOVE home-cooked food the most. And be it, me getting a chance to have Honoka’s cooking. Or me having a chance to cook for Honoka! Or woah, we’re cooking together! I’m so hyped and in high tension now! Honokaaaa~ I love you. Let’s cook!

Halfway through lunch of me stuffing my mouth full of food, which was a feat as I couldn’t quite stop my smile. So I’m smiling and eating, looking at Honoka every moment I can instead of looking at my food. I drop the rice or ingredients at times or poke my face with the spoon and Honoka’s laughs. I think my soul ascended a bit. hehe. Honoka~ (♡´౪`♡)

Oh right, halfway through lunch I jolt out of my intoxicated with love stupor with a gasp and my expression one of worry. Honoka has a concerned look on (which I found really cute too) and asked me if everything was alright. I take a few seconds as my mind raced, before I chuckled awkwardly, “Oh no...Just thinking that I haven’t gotten my login bonus for today and to play a bit of SIF...hehe...” Rubbing my arm a little awkwardly from the nerves and silliness of this realization.

Honoka smirks. Honoka smirks! Before she grins at me lovingly. “But I’m here already.” My head shot up and face morphed in an I know! I know that’s why I’m not rushing for my phone or anything. Don’t misunderstand-

“But I would like to see what your account looks like~ Filled with...me~? Just kidding. It’s totally okay for you to have a bunch of Kotori-chan cards or Nico-chan cards. They are both really cute school idols too!” Honoka actually looked like she’d be upset if I did have more of their cards in my SIF account.

I feel my heart squeezing and thumping that much faster at how much I love Honoka. How cute she is. How amazing she is. How Honoka she is~ ♡(ŐωŐ人)

I show her my account and she goes “Woah, that’s a lot of me!” And we both chuckle at what a funny thing it is to say. I comment shyly, “But my dream is to have all of Honoka- er, I mean all of your cards...so...I’ve still got ways to go...hehe.../////”  And she adds, “But now there’s me right here with you...so you could get all the other cards you don’t have yet in reality next time!”

Honoka stays quiet after that line. I stay quiet too. Then she bounces on the spot with a clap. “Let’s finish lunch and play something~” I nod in agreement and we continued eating our Honoka and Miyuki cooked meal together~

With the dishes washed, Honoka rocks on her heels back and forth as she asks what I might like to do together. I stared at her. We’ve spent an entire morning till afternoon together already and I still feel like I’m dreaming. I’ve living a dream! ۹(ÒہÓ)۶ “Movies and cuddles?” OH MY GOSH. WAIT, WHAT DID I JUST SUGGEST. HONOKA- WITH HONOKA- I MEAN. I JUST WANNA HANG OUT MORE, NOT ANYTHING ELSE. SHE HAS KOTORI-

(which I forgot to add that Honoka would comment about how cute Kotori is in SIF and she’d see my team name “HonoKoto” and she does that endearing smile at it. And my HonoKoto heart squeals with starry eyes that HonoKoto is real (● Ò □ Ó ) ♡ ♡ ♡ )

Honoka laughs. “That sounds like something we can do after dinner. But sure! You’re so cute~”

you’re a thousand, million times cuter, Honoka!! I scream in my mind but don’t verbalize it cos she took my breath away. (⺣◡⺣)♡*

We don’t cuddle. Of course, we don’t. XD But we sat beside each other on the couch as we put family cartoons on the big screen and some rom-com on too. We laughed, we felt our heartstrings being tugged for the characters on screen and at times a bit of tears too. And it’s just so fun to talk about our opinions on the movies after each one of them. :”))))))

Dinner time was closing in. And we already decided what we were gonna have! We just can’t say no to curry! (ᗒᗨᗕ) so we put that to boil and then on our plates and mmmmm~ it’s sooooooo good!

She had this fun idea of cutting the carrots and potatoes to look like alphabets somewhat so that when we get that on our plates, we can ask each other questions starting with the letter. And it’s a funget to know each other game as we eat. Which enhanced our chat too. Our dinner lasted long with laughs and “ooohs~” as we found out more about each other.

We got back on the couch after but instead of movies, we went to have fun on youtube and also look through my folder of Muse stuff. I was a bit embarrassed but Honoka got embarrassed too with how much Honoka content I have. ///w/// hehe~ Honoka~

We stayed up for as long as we can as I childishly and determinedly not want to sleep or let Honoka go to sleep as I didn’t want the day to end via sleep like that. It was a tough challenge as me being in bed equates to sleep within seconds or a minute. Honoka herself loves sleep. So we both tried to keep up the conversation or stares and funny faces and even going “First one to sleep is pink pig plushie (think SIF SR Honoka ;))” or “First one to sleep owes the other a drink/meal”. But well, we don’t really know who fell asleep first as we both closed our eyes, our bodies laid down on bed and sleep took us.(๑>ᴗ

Morning came. But it was still dark. Honoka was awake. I blinked up at her as she rolled out of bed and brightened the morning with a smile. “Get up, Miyuki-chan~ I’ve got something to show you~” I blinked grogily, still sleepy. “Honoka...5 more-” “No!” Honoka pulls me out of bed and before I know it, I’ve brushed my teeth, put on a bit more clothes and we’re somewhere outside.

I’m more awake when Honoka says “This will be another one of our memories together.”

I look at her and then a flicker started from across the horizon, far out at the sea. Yup, she brought me to a park, to watch the sunrise. “Honoka...” My sun...

Honoka smiles as she watches the sunrise. I watched her and the sunrise. “Th-Thank you...This is beautiful...A beautiful, unforgettable memory.”

Honoka smiles bright, to me, it’s brighter than the gorgeous sunrise we just experienced. And that says a lot. (๑>ᴗ

Honoka stands and I follow. She looks a little more solemn now. “Honoka..?”

“I guess this is it.”

“Oh.” I lowered my head, staring at our feets. Honoka was wearing my slipper. “I guess...”

Honoka puts a hand on my head, a soft pat. “I hope it was a fun day for you.”

I nod vigorously, my hair being a ruffled by her hand still on my head. “It was so fun! I...I wish it didn’t have to end!”

Honoka grins from ear to ear and she whispers. “Me too.”

I looked, stared and really didn’t want to have to look away from Honoka. Ever. “...Bye bye...”

Honoka chuckes softly and takes my hand in hers like she did when we were going grocery shopping. “First, I escort you home.”

“Thank you...” I tend to never say no to escorts since I get lost easily. I should have pointed out that I wanna see her off. But well, she walked me home and we waved goodbye. I got a hug. A huge hug. A bear hug. A hug that lasted so long but just not enough.

“Goodbye, Miyuki-chan!” Honoka graces me with that huge smile that steals my heart every single time before she ran off, leaving me waving and staring in the distance.

...

What a day.

Wait. Honoka said ‘next time’! When looking at my SIF account??

Does that mean..?

She might come over for an entire day again?!

I couldn’t quite think of anything else for the rest of the day but Honoka. 

~~~~~~~~

(´∀`) Like...woah. （・ｗ・）1738 words what? (* >ω

I took a really long time to answer this Ask, but I guess you can understand why? XD I was procrastinating as I rolled in a thousand and one ideas of what I could possibly do in a day with Honoka. BUT. I guess the way about it was really to just sit and let the thoughts spill out of my head with fingers moving to type out each and every thought. An honest one, where I don’t go “but that” , “but I wanna do this” (* >ω

My sincerest and greatest thanks to you Shin-san for the Ask! It really made me think and gosh, an entire day with Honoka is such a blessing. hehe~ (*≧∀≦*)(*≧∀≦*)(*≧∀≦*)

[anothers-trash-my-treasure]

Invited 2.1

Sooooooo this one is mostly for me because I am Mazlek trash and if I didn’t get this out I was literally going to go crazy. Anyway, the next part of this will be based more around Rami/Reader/Joe because this one is basically just Rami/Joe and I’m really not that sorry about it. Enjoy

Pairing:  Rami Malek/Joe Mazzello, Brief Rami Malek/Reader

Warnings: Smuuttt, anal sex, dirty talk, swearing

Word Count: 2056

The topic had come up suddenly one night. It was just the two of us, half drunk on a bottle of wine, playing a game of never have I ever, which really turned into a “have you ever?”.The questions were mostly silly at this point, just saying things to make each other laugh. I thought I had the perfect question.

“Okay, okay, okay,” I stopped giggling and wiggled my eyebrows at him, “Have you ever been with another guy before?”

And he doesn’t say anything. Just lifts his glass to his mouth, raises an eyebrow with a tilt of his head before looking away almost bashfully. My brain short circuits, jaw drops. There’s no way. I mean, it’s not like Rami had the slightest bit of toxic masculinity in his body, being affectionate with his co-workers was just part of his personality. But to be in that vulnerable position with one of them? To have them see him like I have? There’s no way.

“No fucking way,” I breathe, ”we’ve been dating for a year and you’ve never told me this? I ask incredibly, making him laugh. “who?!” I demand excitedly.

He just shakes his head, a small smile pulling at his lips, “It doesn’t matter.”

“Is it someone I know?” He shrugs. I whine, high and child-like, “C’mon Rami, just tell me.” 

He considers this, staring into his wine glass, contemplating my request while he swirls the dark liquid in the glass. And then he’s downing the rest of the liquid, and looking me dead in the eye.

“You really wanna know?” He asks lowly. I nod excitedly, leaning forward a little to get closer to him, “Promise not to tell anyone?” 

I hold out my pinky, a symbol we both take incredibly seriously, despite the childish nature of it. He locks his pinky in mine, holding our hands suspended in mid-air and staring into my eyes. His eyes dart away and he leans back in his chair.

“Joe.” 

My jaw drops, and I swear to god I almost faint. “Joe?! Like, our Joe? Like, Joe Mazzello?” He nods, a smirk playing at his lips at my reaction, “Oh my god, please tell me everything.” I plead.

His eyebrow raises, “I’m not drunk enough for that.” He laughs, shaking his head and going to pour himself another glass. I stop him, grabbing the wine before running to the kitchen. I search around in our liquor cabinet, desperately trying to find the bottle I know will get him to spill more of this story. When I find it, I drag it back out into the living room and show it to him excitedly.

“Y/n, I am not doing tequila shots with you.” He groans.

“Yes, you are.” I say simply, sitting down beside him, “It’s this or you tell me the whole story right now. Choose your poison, Mr.Malek.” I smile devilishly at him.

He sighs, reaching to grab the bottle out of my hand. He pops the bottle open, bringing it to his lips before taking a long swig of it. He grimaces at the harsh flavour and burn of the liquid, passing the bottle back to me. When I don’t make a move to drink it, he shakes his head stubbornly,

“Uh-uh, No way, I am not being hungover alone tomorrow. Take a fucking shot or no story.”

Pretty soon, we’re both too drunk on tequila and I’ve honestly almost forgotten why I pulled out the tequila in the first place until Rami speaks again. 

“Alright,” He sighs, head leaning on the sofa, “I’ll tell you.” 

I squeal excitedly, maneuvering myself so I’m sitting cross-legged on the couch beside him. It’s all I can do but sit and listen while he tells me what is quite possibly the hottest thing I could ever imagine.

“It happened when we did The Pacific...”

Neither of them are quite sure how they got here. It was a build up for sure, the lingering glances, the chemistry and their characters constantly being close to each other. It was really only a matter of time before this happened. Both of them are quite surprised that there’s not a drop of alcohol in their system. The tension had just finally boiled over.

Joe had Rami pinned up against the door of his hotel room, tongue swirling around his own as they pressed against each other, their breathing hard and heavy. Rami’s fingers find their way through the belt loops of Joe’s pants, pulling his hips closer to his own and gasping when he feels the hard line of Joe’s cock pressed against him. Joe’s hands push Rami’s shirt up his torso, letting them roam over taut muscles. A thumb brushes over Rami’s nipple lightly, causing a small breathy moan of Joe’s name to fall from his lips.

“Have you ever...” Joe trails off, eyes darting around Rami’s face, taking in every detail of the other man's face, he wants to remember this. 

Rami shakes his head, trying desperately to get his breath back but failing miserably when his hips move on their own account, “have you?” 

Joe nods, capturing Rami’s lips in his once more before pulling him to the bed with him. They settle so that Rami is straddling Joe, leaning down to kiss him heatedly as his hips move to provide some fiction. When Joe's hands move to grip Rami’s ass, he’s a little blindsided with how much he wants the man underneath him. God, he wants it. He never thought he’d want this. But upon meeting Joe his thoughts had wandered. Wondered what it would be like to be on the receiving end of something. He’d tried to experiment on his own, but the angle was awkward and he didn’t actually have to correct supplies so he’d pretty much left it up to his imagination. But now...

“How do you wanna do this?” Joe breathes. He barely gets his question out before Rami is whining high in his throat and grinding his hips down a little harder.

“I want you to...” He takes a shaky breath in, opening his eyes to look down at Joe, who’s looking up at him with heat and lust in his eyes, “I want you to fuck me. Please.” 

The younger man shivers beneath him, “Are you sure, Rami? It hurts like a bitch at first but...” His thumb begins to rub up against his hip bone absently, “We can take it slow...I’d-” he swallows nervously, “I’d make it good for you.”

Rami nods enthusiastically, biting his lip at the mere thought of finally getting what he’s been craving after all these months, “Please Joe.” 

They waste no time from that moment on. Ridding themselves of their clothes, pausing each time a new section of skin is revealed so they can explore and remember every detail of their time together. When they’re both naked, writhing and grinding against each other, Joe finally reaches into the bedside table, pulling out a condom and a bottle of lube.

Flipping them over in one smooth motion, Joe situates himself in between Rami’s legs, setting his legs so they’re perched on his hips. He pops open the lube and starts to warm the liquid up between his fingers. Joe takes his time prepping the other man, checking in with him and making sure he is okay. It’s not the worst thing Rami’s felt, but definitely not comfortable either. That is until Joe crooks his fingers at a different angle and Rami sees actual stars. A gasp is ripped from his lips, followed by a low moan as Joe pokes and prods at his prostate.

“There we go,” Joe breathes, a smile evident in his voice, “Told you I’d make it good, didn’t I?”

From there on out, Rami is a begging mess. It never felt like this on his own. He feels hot all over, a twinge of desperation curling at this base of his spine.  It’s not until Joe has three fingers stretching him out that Rami gets impatient. 

“Joe, c’mon. I’m so ready.” And when Joe asks him if he’s sure, Rami whines, high and needy in his throat, “Oh my god yes, please. Need it.”   

Joe chuckles darkly at him, mumbling under his breath as he removes his fingers to grab the condom, “So needy Ram.”

When Joe pushes the head in Rami isn’t sure what is happening. His body is conflicted, pain rippling through his lower back but yet pleasure is running through his veins. Joe’s kissing his neck and jaw line when he bottoms out, letting Rami adjust around him. Rami tangled a hand in Joe's hair, pulling the other man's face towards his own so he could capture his lips in a breathless kiss. Joe shifted to get closer to him and Rami let out a low whimper.

“I’m good,” He gasped, feeling every ridge of Joe inside of him and absolutely loving it now that his body had adjusted, “move, please.”

Joe doesn’t have to be asked twice, Rami is tight and hot around him and it’s been literal hell trying not to buck into the heat. He starts as slowly as he can, pulling out nearly all the way before sinking back into the heat, both of them letting out sounds of pleasure at the feeling.

Rami is losing his mind, he never had a doubt in his mind that Joe would make it good for him; but he never thought it’d be this good. Every time Joe sinks back inside of him his back arches further, eyes fluttering at how fucking good it feels. But he needs more. More force, more speed, more of the zaps of pleasure that shoot up his spine. 

“More,” his voice is high, “Joe please, more.” His hips are pushing down onto Joe's cock relentlessly, trying to get him deeper. 

Joe pulls out, flipping Rami onto his stomach and maneuvering the other man so that he’s on his knees, the upper half of his body pressed against the mattress. 

When Joe thrusts into him like this it’s heavenly. His cock is so much deeper at this angle and Rami moans loudly. His hips beginning to move on their own account, meeting Joe's thrusts enthusiastically. 

“Shit Rami,” Joe moans, he finds himself complete invested in the man below him, “If I would’ve known you were gonna love this so much we’d have done it a lot sooner.”

Rami whines beneath him, back arching, “Feels so good,” He moans, “God, so fucking good.” He’s panting, a hand tangled in his own hair, tugging on it in an attempt to ground himself. Pleasure clouds his vision, the only thing he can focus on is the feeling of Joe’s cock brushing against his prostate with every thrust. 

Joe changes his angle slightly and suddenly Rami’s prostate is being attacked. Rami’s basically screaming at this point, mouth hung open as he pushes himself back against Joe’s thrusts.

 “Yes, yes, yes, fuck Joe. Right there. Please don’t stop, fuck.” He feels his release building in his stomach, “I’m so close Joe.”

Upon hearing that, Joe doubles his efforts, leaning down to whisper in the older man's ear, “That’s it Rami, come for me. I’m right there with you. C’mon...ah shit, c’mon.” All it takes is a few more thrusts and they’re both spiralling over the edge. Rami cries out Joe's name, throwing his head back as white-hot pleasure overtakes his entire body. He’s never felt like this before. He feels like he’s floating as he comes down, vaguely aware of Joe doing the same right beside him.

I sit there with my mouth hung open. Heat has pooled between my legs and I swear to god I’ve never been so turned on. Who would’ve thought the idea of my boyfriend and one of my closest friends getting on would’ve done it for me.

“I uh,” I stutter, “Rami, that’s fucking...” I take a breath, trying to compose myself, “so fucking hot??” 

He looks surprised, “so you’re not...weirded out by it?”

“By what?” I ask, raising an eyebrow, “By the fact that you like being fucked? Not at all, babe.” I climb into his lap, “In fact,” I kiss his jawline tenderly, “This gives me a few ideas.” To Be Continued...

[infiniteshawn]

House of Boys | College!Shawn AU | Part 5

fluffy

The music downstairs was vibrating your bedroom walls as you got ready to socialize. You’d been hiding in your room all day after your little altercation with Shawn, nervous to be confronted by him and embarrassed of your words. Because of this, you needed to look good. You threw an oversized off-the-shoulder knit sweater on, intending to tease him with a little bit of your collarbone peeking out. Slipping into your favourite jeans that did wonders for your ass, you tousled your hair and touched up your lip gloss. Deciding that this was about as good as it was going to get, you spritzed yourself with a sweet but musky perfume and headed downstairs.

It wasn’t anything too crazy yet. About twenty people lined the room, talking amongst themselves, red cups in hand. You headed over to the fridge and grabbed a beer. You weren’t particularly keen on getting shitfaced tonight, figuring you’d done enough damage the evening before. You mingled for a bit, cleaning up after people and making sure the food was in order. Everyone seemed to be having fun—it wasn’t anything wild and it didn’t get much busier. It was laid-back, which was kind of nice. A very serious game of beer pong was taking place in the kitchen when you finished your second drink, feeling a little tipsy.

You wondered where everyone had gone. A few people were in the kitchen, but that was it. You listened carefully, filtering out the commotion in the other room, and you thought you could hear some stirring downstairs. Pushing yourself up off then couch, you walked over to the basement steps and could hear the strumming of a guitar and an angelic voice filling the basement. You grabbed another drink and followed the sound in search of the source. About fifteen people were sitting around, lost in the music. Craning your neck around the railing, you realized where Shawn had been all night. He was downstairs, singing and strumming along, completely at peace. For just a split second, your anger towards him faded and you heart swelled. It was a beautiful sight and he was a beautiful boy, and you wanted nothing more than to take him into your arms and hold him forever.

His smile was wide as his head bopped along. A faint crimson stained his cheeks, indicating that he was decently drunk. No wonder he was so happy.

He looked up from the guitar, taking notice of you for the first time since you lost your shit on him earlier that morning. His smile grew wider as he stopped playing, placing the guitar down on its stand and getting up from his spot. 

Instinctually, you crossed your arms and stood up straight, ready for whatever was coming. Like a floppy puppy, he sauntered over to you on unsteady legs and cupped your cheeks with his massive hands. Unsure of what to do, you looked up at him, able to see his bird tattoo out of the corner of your left eye. What the hell?

“Shawn, what are you doing?” you asked, confused, but not moving out of his grip.

“You’re so beautiful. Like, sooooooo pretty, Y/N. Do you know that?” he said, a lazy smile still spread across his cheeks. 

“Okay, Shawn, whatever you say,” you chuckled, minimally shaking your head. He was plastered.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked, a look of sadness taking over his face. “Please don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad, Shawn, I’m just confused,” you responded, grabbing his hands and peeling them from your cheeks. You let them go, but they latched onto yours. A nervous feeling of excitement shot up your arms. “I don’t know what you want.”

You could hear your name being called from upstairs. Brian needed you for something. “Shawn, I gotta get back upstairs, okay? Are you alright down here?” you asked, genuinely worried about his physical stability.

He let go of your hands, nodding slightly. Giving you a half-smile, he turned on his heel and walked back over to where he was previously sitting. 

All Brian wanted was a new pong partner. You agreed and played a few rounds, growing progressively more drunk as the party fizzled out. People began leaving as you started cleaning up until the house was cleared of bodies that didn’t belong to your circle of friends. The guys crashed upstairs as you kept cleaning, only to be startled as a drunken Shawn made his way into the kitchen. 

“You okay, tiger?” you asked him, giggling at his state.

“I am now,” he quipped back, giving you a sweet smile.

Silence ensued between you both as he drank a glass of water and you piled cans into the recycling. It was a few minutes until Shawn spoke.

“You know I love you, right?”

You froze. You were not expecting this, and you hadn’t even questioned him about it like you planned. You knew he was a weird dude, but you had no idea that this was why.

“Shawn, don’t be silly,” you responded, failing to look up at him.

He set his glass down on the counter silently, crossing his arms and turning toward you. “I’m not being silly. You needed to know, and now you know.”

“So why are you such a dick sometimes, then?” You asked, turning in his direction.

“We can’t be getting too close, Y/N. After what happened last night, I don’t wanna risk it. We can’t be together, you deserve someone a lot better than-“ he gestured at himself, “-this.”

“Shawn, stop that. You’re a great guy. I just wish you were a little nicer to me,” you tried to compose yourself, but inside you were screaming. You were so mad, but wanted him so badly, and your feelings for Shawn seemed to be winning. A crazy idea crossed your mind.

“Kiss me,” was all you said, and he stepped towards you, his firm body against yours. He took your face into his hands and stared into your eyes, and you could feel the warmth radiating off of him. You hadn’t seen his face this close up before, and it was a masterpiece. 

“I can’t, you’re drunk,” he whispered, smiling just inches from your face.

“You’re drunk too,” you whined, wishing he would just surrender to you.

His face fell. “And that’s why we can’t. Y/N, I’ve wanted this forever. But not like this. You’re drunk. See how you feel in the morning, and if you still want me to kiss you, I will. I’ll kiss you all day, all night, for as long as I can. I’ll kiss you softly, deeply, any way you want. I’ll always kiss you. I’ll always want to kiss you. But I’m not so sure Sober Y/N feels the same way, okay?” he said, pressing his forehead to yours and closing his eyes.

You were shocked at his reasoning. You’d expected him to jump right into your pants, hands and lips and erection. But he didn’t. His feelings were genuine and his heart was delicate. He needed this, but not this way.

His face lifted from yours and he opened his chocolate eyes. “Okay,” was all you said, pushing up on your tiptoes to plant a little peck on his nose.

“Get some sleep, love. I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, squeezing your hand and retreating back downstairs. 

boiiiii they gonna fuckkkkk! part 6 is already in my brain

[girl-next-door-writes]

Things I Have Been Reading (Jan)

I hope you are all having a fabulous 2018.  I wanted to start my first rec list of the year by asking each and every one of you to not only hit ‘like’ on these brilliant offerings but also reblog! I don’t know if it’s just me but over the last few months it feels like there has been a decline in the number of fics being posted and thanks to the weird ways of tumblr and not posting things in chronological order anymore we need to show more love than ever to those dedicated crazy people out there providing us with FREE reading materials.  Please support your writers and artists, it can be very lonely shouting into the void.

If you would like to tag me in anything you have read or written you think I might like then please do! Anything Supernatural, Marvel, Star Trek, Tolkien, Star Wars, Stranger Things, Sherlock... in fact just tag me in whatever because I will probably just fall into another fandom if I’m not already in it.

Now, without any further preambling, here are my recommendations for you.

Supernatural:

Lie to me @angelkurenai  A French Mistake series which I may or may not have binge read several times so far.  My heart breaks for all of the characters in this which speaks of how well written each part is.  The characters are beautiful and I really felt the conflicts in each of them.  This series is amazing.

The unexpected @thewhiterabbit42 Once again my dearest Megs has created something which makes me want to throw my entire masterlist in the bin.  There is a very real chance I will never write Gabriel ever again because the way she writes my favourite angel is just sublime.  

The Big Bag King @lucifersagents Now you all know how much I adore the King of Hell and I am sure you are all also aware that this piece is written by one of my favourite writers so it’s a win win for me here.  Definitely not a fluffy feel good piece and I do love the reminder that Crowley is dangerous.

Marvel:

Dear Darling @sharonisantisocialimagines There are quite a few fics out there that make me want to smack Bucky Barnes upside the head and this is one of them.  Not only do you get a brilliant dose of Mr Barnes BUT I would like to say I adore Clint’s little cameos in here.  Bravo darling.

A December Deception @aubzylynn If you are not already following this amazing blog you need to go do it now.  If I was to meet and fall in love with Steve Rogers (and lets face it, that’s the dream) then this is how I would like it to go.  This is the fluffiest series I didn’t realise I needed over the holiday season and Aubrey has once again shown why she is one of my favourite writers.

Attention Steve Rogers x Reader One Shot @tilltheendwilliwrite Not only is Steve fabulous in this but you also get a fabulous side of Loki! Never have I wanted to be a fairy type character more in my entire life.  The Reader’s character is so well thought out and the different sides to her personality are brilliant.  I just adored this.

The Tower @littlemisssyreid This. Series. Is. Epic.  If you love Loki, or even if you don’t, this is just an amazing roller coaster of a series that you should all go read.

A Hectic Week @marveliskindacool Okay, so this series is the second in a kind of series and I would LOVE a third part because I just love this idea and the relationship between the reader and Steve as well as Bucky and Sam.  The heartache and the anger are just beautiful.  Go check it out.

“Play Pretend” @s-writing-s Sooooooo, I may have binge read this until a silly time in the morning and I swear I’m not a Bucky girl but I love this little series so damned much.  It’s the little details between them and the over analysing that makes it feel so real.  Fantastic work.

Uneasy Lies the Crown @captain-rogers-beard A bit of touch starved Loki here for you.  I think our poor prince needs a little love and this glimpse into such an intimate relationship is brilliant.

Other Fandoms and Fics:

Imagine @angelkurenai  Now it’s not often that I put a writer on my list twice but DAMN!!!! I swear this series is killing me! Jensen Ackles vs Tom Hiddleston in a rollercoaster of emotions.  I am declaring my side as Team Jensen but it is a close run thing as both characters are exceptionally written and the whole situation just such a mess. I am really looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Stuck Between @justauthoring So, this is a Star Wars fic sneaking here onto my list.  I am 100% a Poe girl, just throwing that out there, but this Kylo x reader x Poe fic is just bloody brilliant.  The inner turmoil and the struggle to come to terms with emotions is so well done.  Go read the whole series!!

I Promise @justauthoring Poe Dameron people.  This one is a Poe Dameron and it gives me the feels.  I love protective Poe and I just want to see him pull some amazing shit and get them out of this.

[misterbitches]

@flootweed ​

ATOTS

That's super fucking romantic? Like tragic but in a nice way. i love that shit. i'm a monogamous slut for romance pghiosuag even tho we have to learn to live alone too but it's just like the NOTION is nice?!??! awwww i told my mom that SOPHIE's gf was like "she died taking a picture of the moon" and how it was like idk. the gf was just processing it and she thought it was romantic and my mom was like "wow.....depressing" bc think she thought it was stupid millenial shit i was like no mother doent u see she died in the BEAUTY LMAO but then i told her jessica walter's husband died the year before and then she died and she was like "aw...kind of romantic" LMAOOOO i guess two people have to die. why did i tell this story? i am so sorry. the show ended today right (ep 10?) i didn't realize it was that short. so i hope it was a happy ending? (tell me) i understand why you love the atmos! it's like, not really been done. there's this BL that i hear isn't too great but it does take place in a rural part of thailand and there's way less budget. a lot of ppl seem to like it. ep 6 LW / LW in gen gotta be honest, rushed through it. i knew spoilers from jump cause BL spoilers are just absolutely nothing and sometimes ur just like i need to know. i do not understand the ~silently lookin 4 u~ trope it always backfires and is also DUMB. so happy about tiffy. a girl who likes girls but ends up with a man bc of mommy and also the man is ok....it's me. she's gorgeous and actually [h*lf] gay so it's great. god ok i feel so old again. lmaooo but i was like obsessed with lady gaga for that reason (dont ask...also how i got kinda popular on tumblr way back in the day) and shes just absolutely fucking beautiful and bad ass. (which kind of doesnt helpcos they r all skinnty but that's FINEEEE) right? i mean like i guess cos we knew abt it? i can see why he was so pissed off, too? i mean i'm so fucking like...sensitive to being told what to do so i was angry for him from jump. i guess i was also looking at it different wholetime cos i knew the spoilers? i'm assuming u did too lmao. so we knew hed be pissed and leave. and frankly that's what sib gets. just for you my friend i will watch it and update. i think MANY times in shows in gen but it is something you notice a lot in BL bc they are just absolute novices most times. in this case, gene's actor mostly well (and i like him as a person just cos he was on that thai 3 girls in a car show and used to date on eof them lmao) can act so i will look over that scene to see how sib's actor plays off him. but the pausing in between sentences or for so long even decent actors or actors doing better. kao is not bad, not great so they will talk slowly because dramatic acting but the problem is most times it's too long. even if the person is an adept actor it won't always work and YES THEN THAT MEANS THE EDITOR COMES IN AND SNIP SNIP SNIP! it's too long. and sometimes it just does not work even if you can act. but it is GLARING when they cant or are average (someoe said this about tharntype and my god lmao tharn..is...so...slow...in...talking...the actor idk his name it's one of em, the other one with the nose (type) is....different not better but he certainly does not talk as slow. they arent bad but they are not good so.) also sometimes they are forgetting their lines. some ppl find this charming. clearly we do not lmao. what is their relation? what is going on there? i don't have a problem with stepbrothers as long as they didn't grow up with that sibling bond. many times blended families really have to watch out for that kind of fraternizing but it's always when theyre older and teenagers bc they didnt grow up w/ each other....i mean they have chemistry so i'm whatever. but. hennYYWAYYYS.actually it's bc im an idiot i didn't read it as Mhok (singular) and aey's father. Yes and his sister who i think i may hate? im like bitch okkkkkk but. his name is lhong. and he is a psycho. i mean so is type. so. oooh it could be that he stole! but also i'm pretty sure cos hes gay lol or did they

not make that explicit? the thing is i had to skip through most of that scene too because the drama was WAY too much for me. too much. lmao. the sister thing i got and it made sense and iliked that. oh yea he is gay and they know. that's a big one.

WBL

haven’t watched color rush! did you like it? i have seen wyel, parts of mr heart, and ofc to my star :) 

ohhhhhh ok. i get you. yea he definitely wasn’t being ooc cos i think that....what u said. and also like....ugh i cant even think rn. i like sam lin a lot so i like gao shi de but i gotta say. lmao. hm. first of all. yes it is creepy what he did. it’s fucking weird. and sad that his whole life revolves around him. it’s not as fucking weird as LW but still like when he did the door thing. i was like UMMMMMMMMM cos i really didnt want it to be constructed. and when it was i was like imma suspend my disbelief. but if anyone dared...

and so what he did in s2 i think he just couldnt realize that he was loved back which is why it’s good he WAS ALONE for 5 yrs imo. but he gave shu yi 0 choice and for that i am pretty sure i would be even angrier. i do think though that the father’s role is pretty important but i can see how the show is like....letting that go? bc as fucking weird as GSD is, he was still like...20? i guess and shu yi’s dad is like. crazy? i am also like he really had to fucking start a company to get noticed like are u joking? is it also that easy? and also why? lmao i just. ugh. i think that probs bothered me the most...priorities.

i like the show! well idk if i love it but sure. i think it’s decent lmao. i understand what you’re saying. for here it bothers me less but i certainly don’t think it was OOC. immature and stupid but like...that’s.....what they are. i also don’t have a problm with the timing from a technical point.

however, when i started the show? i had NO clue what concept of time it was. and that was very annoying. tehy redeemed it bc of the comedy aspects (the first time shu yi sees shi de is so fucking good, i really loved the shot and editing; it’s hilarious and silly) and i started to go with the flow of the show through that. but the fucking concept of time in the show in general esp with repetitive outfits (i understand that they are more likely to wear multiple outfits as well, it’s just that you have to split it up or it i sconfusing visually and looks like the same scene twice or just a full day of shooting which it could be but then something should change in the clothes. this is just an ex~~*~*) and partof that is they have this already controlled narrative i guess. 

i have to admit as well...i skipped episode 1. and most of 2. i was like i rly dont want to see someone slap a pereson even if they were like. not together. it’s just not cute also not in front of ppl. and then when they were yelling and bla bla i was like listen ladies lets calm down. too much angst in a boring way. what they have now is good. also they should probably like estrange the father but i doubt they will. 

i cannot make up my mind totally now bc i see what ur saying i guess i just don’t feel that way as much but i guess i have to think about it more, too. i do think he was contorlling in getting him or like when he didnt want shu yi to find out whwatshisface liked him. i guess for me it would be if he is still that way in the rship. but even tho he’s at fault for what happened, i’m also like but his dad? but also like...did he try? why did he just stop contacting? but then i guess he emailed everyday? DO U C MY QUANDARY.

alsoi have to say i do not care abt their backdoor being opened lmao like wow business? no thanks

LMAO. did they cry a lot in UWMA? i only know the teamwin parts. which one is fluke the really pale one who died? idk what it is about that kid but i just cant watch him. it’s not his fault it’s mine.

DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!

it’s stupid. that’s what it is (husband and wife.) it’s just something they say like many gay couples may use pejoratives in conjunction with them, the f word etc. or even imply something about being a top and a bottom. whatever. but these arent gay spaces or gay storylines. sure gay men may direct them but since BL operates and relies on patriarchy without a doubt and also stereotypes poorly kathoeys or won’t cast trans women in anything substantial and use them as jokes (and see this is one of those things where it’s like...ud never see this in the US tho like our concept of third gender or kathoeys but life stillBOOOOO.) so it’s just useless when they put it into the scripts because it’s for people to consume and lots of girls are. obviously. so the idea that if you are being penetrated and u r the wife and this is used like literally anywhere but not from gay or whatever men is gross. are cis women’s vaginas sieves to them? are trans women not women? do we have to categorize people by PHALLIC OBJECTS IN OUR BODIES SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN? it dont make no sense. plus really most ppl just experiment, there’s more ways than one to have sex, we have lives so most times it’s not just full penetration for hours anyway. it’s just so gross. like oh that’s really funny lol ur the wife cos his dick goes in ur butt XD i get it, same. i say “i’m wife’ whenever there’s a penis in me. fucking kill me. it’s not a big deal but it’s just dumb and gross. if they use it they could try and subvert it too like i like how my engineer has  a whole absurdly stupid episode about it. but in TT the dad says “if ur the wife i wont accept it” and i was like u know what gals? im good. goodbye.

pgojaihousgajigko THAT’S SOOOOOOO OOWIEOFUGHOIJ WEIRD. FANDOM IS REALLY WEIRD. i have read rpf and written it once upon a time but dont do it anymore  uch. i mean it’s weird. no doubt about that. invasive, weird, strange. but very unreal anyway. it is. plus i dont like celebs or fame and think of it as a gross capitalist scheme so i had to stop (also so weird?) but i know very many people like lean in. lean in. LEAN IN. this youtuber i watch did a video on like insanely popular ships (like that 1d one) and their insane fandoms and i just couldnt. it’s so embarrassing? and then they’re so bold????? about it? 

yea it would be cool (more queer men or visibly we should say or like out whatever.) but it doesnt necessarily mean that will be good or beneficial i guess? i mean like. i dont know. so much about the genre is about wish fulfilment for young girls. its literally selling some fantasies because the other thing is for BL (i read a paper on this...) esp for girls in more conservative societies they cna maybe replace themselves in the character? but they may not feel a threat as a woman or like their life will fall apart if they engage in sexual things with anyone really. and that’s where i’m like....for a lot of these are they just writing a story and just replacing two men? bc they also seem to think it owrks like that. and in a way that’s what it is bc of the writing and how they use certain terms. you can tell the piece is about pushing a product and less about the real affects of a story. i think ITSAY is a great example of a really intelligent great piece of work that contains multitudes. and the girl was amazing. it just depends on the goal. and for most of the ppl the goal isnt...to do anything. so i dont know. idk how to talk abt representation anymore. it both is and isnt.

 i really liked tingting from my engineer a lot (idk if u have seen) she’s so fun and unapologetic. i love how much she drinks and if someone tells her to be ladylike she says no. and i appreciate that in the show when girls were rude to her she said nothing about the girls but said “NO IM NOT LUCKY TO HAVE ALL MALE FRIENDS?” i really want to see her more in the next season. obviously tiffy is goat. super excited to see how their rship develops.

[bearhyog-blog]

{ OOC }

So... I’ve been missing. I needed some time for myself, I was really down and I just wanted to take a break from existing basically. I haven’t kept in touch with anyone, not even picking up the phone from grandma. I don’t know why specifically but I can tell you what has been happening in my life lately.

But before all that, I just want to take the time to thank you for keeping me up to date with your life and for always remembering me. I received your present last Friday and that made me sooooooooooooooooooooo happy. You have no idea, my favourite thing to colour is animals ^^ also, mom LOVED her calender, she hung it up on our living room and told me to thank you while complimenting your kindness and “foolishness” from wasting money on her. So thank you, thank you very much for your words, your actions and the postcards! They’re really well thought out and it makes my heart warm to know that I have someone who loves me, even if we’re far apart.

Where do I begin though.

As you know, I’ve been promised a job. I’m still waiting for it because the guy is so utterly busy he just can’t find the time to make videos with me. I don’t know, I’m disappointed I guess. Again. Mom also talked to the lady who was going to give me a ton of work and she also said she’s too busy. I might have a shot at teaching english 101 but the burocracy is crazy and idek how to handle situations like that, its all so complicated, my god. So I’ve been a little sad regarding that. But hey! I finished my portfolio if you wanna check it out. I’ll be adding stuff to it as I make more stuff. Here’s the link:  https://marquesara.wixsite.com/portfolio

What else is new? Ah! Since I’ve been feeling so lost and just down, I took on a little project. At first, it was going to be a turtle but the money to keep one is sooooooo much that I decided on dwarf hamsters. They’re very cute. They’re also kinda boring because they don’t interact with us but eh they’re nice to look at and feed and stuff. At first I got two: Francis and Sebastian. I read online that males are usually more calm than females so I decided on two males. AND I build their cage out of a plastic storage box, that wood flooring they have, cardbox as bed and stairs a wheel, a bird nest and feeding / drinking objects. It gave me a purpose, you know? And I was a little happier for a little while. They now live in my closet because my cats are crazy killers and they don’t leave the poor things alone. So during the day I leave the door open from the closet so they can see sunlight while I keep the door to my room closed so they can’t get in. At night I close the closet and leave the door open for the cats if they want to sleep on my bed. Oh! But that’s not all. I went back for a third mouse because the box was just so big for 2 little creatures. When I got to the store I said I wanted to take one more and the lady went. “We have two here but one is not for sale because he doesn’t have a leg so we can’t sell that one.” but I had noticed that one of the hamsters I had home had a limp so I told her that and she apologized and said I could take it back and they’d give me the money back for it. I said no way! The creature is no less of a creature because it has a limp! So the lady said she would offer me one hamster instead. I agreed to that (duh) but I saw that there was only one left in the cage so I told her I’d take that one too so he wouldn’t be alone. So now I have four hamsters living in my room. Oh! The others’ names are Aiden and Josh. They’re all named after characters from shows I love hahaha

Still on the animal train, we have Lolita! Lolita is a very pretty, young cat who gave birth to three kittens last month. She belongs to a friend of grandma’s and the poor cat got pregnant basically because the woman won’t sterilize her and she didn’t want to hear the cat whine so she let her free. Someone found her on the street, shaking, quivering in fear under a car and with major weight loss. Instantly, I wanted to take Lolita from that woman. And I might. I’m going to propose to her that I take her to the vet and do an aids test on her. I can’t add an aids cat in my family but I can help with the kittens. Mom wants to adopt one so we might just do that. Or take them all to the vet for responsible adoptions, because wtf... People are so selfish. I spent a whole hour in her house with Lolita and her kittens. Lolita is so gentle and thin and her cubs are still so small they can’t even meow sometimes. One is black and white, the other is white with brown spots and the other one is white and bege. They’re ALL adorable. But this kind of thing triggers me. I know I can’t be the super hero, saving all the animals but that makes me sad and just bleh.

Moving onward, in a talk with mom she said I had my savings from my childhood in the house and not in the bank anymore and it was a decent amount so instead of just worrying about the future all the time and seeing mom getting so stressed about money, I took her with me to the mall nearest, to Primark so we could both get some new clothes. She was really happy so we went once again days later. I paid for all of it. It wasn’t much but it was something we could never afford if it wasn’t for the savings since mom isn’t doing so well in her job. Anyway, I got sunglasses from dad that cost 25 CENTS!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, that’s how cheap that store is. You can get amazing deals. He was so happy for the random present hahahaha. I also then took a little more cash out of the envelope and told mom to come with me to a store nearby where the supermarket is, she was confused and asked why so I asked her “black, white or gold”? She was even more confused but on our way there she yells “YOU’RE NOT BUYING ME A PHONE ARE YOU?”. Let’s just say mom’s phone belongs in the 1700s and it has a lot of issues. So I searched online and I got a great deal from that store. Mom was FLOORED. It was nice to see. She’s been so down too so I wanted to cheer her up a bit! And it worked, she loved the phone. It’s no Terminator but it works fine, so ^^

I also got you a couple cute things but idk when I’ll be sending them because our post office is working like SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! I’m super mad at them. Remember when I told you I had some stuff from ebay coming? ONE IS STILL NOT HERE DUE TO A TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY. I was so pissed at them I emailed them to insult the crap out of them. Sigh. I hope it comes back soon or I’ll destroy the company with my screams.

Mom bought me an aloe vera plant.

I started washing my hair with shampoo after 1 year of flour. It’s organic, biologic and plant-based blah blah so that I can finally not have flour in my hair all the time but still don’t damage it with chemicals. I didn’t even know such things existed LOL but at the mall I saw this store glowing green and checked it out and NOW I AM FREE OF FLOUR HAHAHAHAHAH

In the meantime, I went to two funerals. No one I knew personally but they were family of family, you know? It made me remember to pray, I had forgotten the words hahahaha. And I like churches, they look old and historical and smell wooden-y hahahaahah I’m an idiot.

Anyway, basically I just dug myself a hole and covered it. I’m ready to resurface now, bit by bit. Thank the lord for TV series. Spoiler alert, Jon Snow sleeps with a very hot woman. LOL But what’s really got me going is this series called Being Human and it’s SOOOOOOOOOOO good. It’s about a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost who live together. They’re all friends against their species “rules”. It’s so dramatic and violent and romantic and emotional and omg I just want to marry Josh, he’s my little Teddy Bear. You should check it out! I think you’d like it. Don’t watch the UK version, that SUCKS. Watch the US remake. Ughhhhhhhh. I even wrote fanfiction about me and Josh HAHHHAHAHAHAHAHA It’s silly but when you’re by yourself that’s what you do.

I just... I really can’t explain it. I fell like Alice in Wonderland (idk if you’ll get the reference or if you saw the movie) but she falls down this hole in the ground and there’s all sorts of things she sees around her like tea pots and chess tables and singing butterflies AS SHE FALLS (more like floats down). And then I felt trapped, I didn’t know which way to go. Should I wait for work here, should I just pack my things and go to Ireland? It’s all so blurry and I think the anxiety of it all caught up to me.

Which reminds me! I upped my meds and they’re working well :)

What else...

Hmmm, oh I have the flu -_- I think I caught it from a kid at dad’s house the other day I went there to have dinner with them. I feel like I weigh 1000000000000kg but it’s all physical, you know? Clogged nose, horrible dry cough, bit of a fever. Nothing that won’t cure itself. 

I think that’s all there is to tell, actually. The rest of my days I just spend watching shows with mom, sleeping the day away because the meds make me sleepy, walking Mel, taking naps, and more naps. Oh right! And I’m doing therapy too. They stopped the OCD therapy for now because I believe I’m in a good place right now, controllable state that I don’t need a doctor to continue with my treatment for that. But now we’re going all the way back to my childhood and why I only have nightmares and why do I dream of the same guy over and over who I didn’t even date but like... it was a crush in MIDDLE SCHOOL. She basically said I’m emotionally damaged (what a surprise) and that led to consequences such as not liking men unless they’re fictional. But we just started on that so we’ll see where this goes. I think that put me down too, I had to write about every guy I had been involved even at 12 years old and I hated remembering all those times and people and that ALSO contributed to me not being in the brightest of mood.

Then I tried joining a RP as JB from GOT7 because he’s a hot piece of ass. I was on like 7 different dates, not even kidding but I lost interest because they were too easy. I left and joined as Yeeun. No one talked to me so I left again and came back as Ken and his ex from a rp like... two years ago is there and it’s so awkward I just stopped showing. 

And that has been my life!

You have no idea how much I’ve missed you and I wanted to talk to you but I just didn’t have the strength... I’m sorry about that and for not being there when you needed me, I truly feel so bad. But I’m here now okay? And I’ll even rewind here so that we don’t clog the messenger feed (which we tend to do a lot)