#and i try to forget that and distract myself
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orangeblossomsintheair · 2 days ago
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HONEY YOU’RE FAMILIAR | MV33
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summary : For a second, he thinks about turning around. Walking out. Pretending he never saw you, because what’s the point? It’s not like he can just waltz up to you and say, “Hey, sorry I ghosted you for no reason other than I’m emotionally constipated. Want to get a drink?”
wc : 5k
an : writing this to distract myself from my other wips? ..i would never.. 😦 also i wrote this at 12 am so let this not be a place of judgement :))
Max sometimes forgets how small Monaco is.
It’s easy to do when most of his memories of the place are a blur of fast cars and glittering parties. He spends most of his time racing through the streets during the Grand Prix or holed up in a hotel room overlooking the harbor.
When you’re constantly traveling the world, hopping between paddocks and podiums, the compactness of Monaco barely registers. It’s a speck on the map, a gilded bubble he never really bothers to think about until it’s right in his face.
But sometimes, like tonight, he’s reminded.
Monaco isn’t a city, not really.
It’s a playground. A handful of streets strung together like a necklace, choked with Lamborghinis, Rolls-Royces, and yachts so big they could be small countries. It’s a place where everyone knows everyone.
Or, at the very least, they know of everyone.
The millionaires gossip about the billionaires. The bartenders know who tips in cash and who never tips at all. Even the stray cats probably have dirt on the local royals.
It’s not just small in size. It’s tight.
Wealth wraps around this place like a noose, strangling it into exclusivity.
There are no dark corners to disappear into, no sprawling suburbs to lose yourself in.
Just a few restaurants, a few clubs, and a few streets where the same people circle each other like they’re on a carousel. If you’re here long enough, you’ll eventually run into everyone you’ve ever met.
Even the ones you’ve been trying to avoid.
Max doesn’t think about that when he walks into the bar.
He’s not in the mood for deep reflection or existential dread. He’s here because Daniel said he needed a drink, and when Daniel Ricciardo says you need a drink, you listen.
That’s how Max ends up at some overpriced lounge that smells like vodka and ambition, standing under soft, warm lighting that’s trying too hard to make the place feel classy instead of claustrophobic.
He’s nursing a beer, half-listening to Daniel tell some convoluted story about a failed date and a stolen Vespa, when he hears it.
A voice.
Your voice.
It’s the kind of thing that cuts through the noise without him even realizing why. It’s not loud or particularly distinct; it’s not like you’re screaming or making a scene. But it’s you. The way you talk, your cadence, the rise and fall of your words. It’s all so achingly familiar that it grabs him by the throat and yanks.
Max freezes. His drink doesn’t make it to his lips.
The years fall away in a blink, and suddenly, it’s like no time has passed.
He’s twenty-two again, still figuring out how to smile for cameras, while you’re draped over the back of his couch, talking absolute nonsense about whether or not the cars in Cars have insurance or not.
He doesn’t even realize he’s turned to look until he spots you.
You’re standing at the bar, laughing as you say something to the bartender. It’s loud, and Max can’t hear you properly, but he can feel you.
The way you lean casually on the counter, the tilt of your head, the way you wave your hand to punctuate whatever you’re saying. It’s so painfully, annoyingly you.
And God, you look good.
For a second, all he can do is stare. You haven’t seen him yet, thank God, because Max Verstappen does not know what the hell to do with himself right now.
You look different.
Not in a drastic way, just… grown.
Your edges are sharper, your presence more refined, like a photo that’s come into focus after years of being a little blurry. But the core of you is still the same. It’s in the way you throw your head back when you laugh, like the world isn’t slowly crumbling under the weight of climate change, billionaires, and whatever Kardashian family drama is brewing this week.
And suddenly, Max is thrown back years.
To a time when you were his person. The one he called when things went sideways, or when he won, or when he was just bored and needed someone to hear him rant about understeer.
You were his best friend.
No. The friend. The one. The only one who ever really got him. And then…Well, then he was an asshole.
He tries to tell himself that you two drifted apart.
People do that, right? It’s life. Except that’s a lie, and Max knows it. You didn’t drift; you held on like a freaking tow hook. You tried—texted him, called him, showed up to races, tried to remind him there was a world outside of 300 km/h and tire degradation.
Max doesn’t know what to do with this. With you. He’s not used to seeing ghosts in real life, and you might as well be one now.
Max debates his next move. He could just… not. Pretend he didn’t notice you. Slip out quietly, finish his drink somewhere else, and avoid whatever emotional grenade this is about to be. That would be the smart thing. The logical thing.
But Max has never been great at logic.
For a second, he thinks about turning around. Walking out. Pretending he never saw you, because what’s the point? It’s not like he can just waltz up to you and say, “Hey, sorry I ghosted you for no reason other than I’m emotionally constipated. Want to get a drink?”
But then you glance over your shoulder.
And your eyes lock.
He doesn’t have time to decide whether to stay or bolt
You see him.
And Max realizes he’s fucked.
For a split second, he thinks you might look away, maybe pretend you didn’t see him either.
He’s not sure if he’s hoping for that or dreading it. But then your face lights up, and the look you give him isn’t what he expects.
It’s warm. Familiar. Like you’re genuinely happy to see him.
His chest tightens. Max isn’t sure what he thought he’d see. Resentment, awkwardness, indifference, maybe.
But this? This disarms him completely.
You wave, and before he knows it, his feet are moving.
“Maxy,” you say as he approaches, your voice carrying that teasing lilt that could only ever be you. It knocks the breath out of him, so familiar and effortless it almost hurts. “Long time no see.”
Max freezes for the briefest of moments, the nickname hitting him like a slap and a hug all at once. Maxy. No one’s called him that in years. Not his family. Not his team. Not anyone.
No one except you.
“Yeah, uh, long time,” he manages, scratching the back of his neck in a gesture so awkwardly familiar it almost makes you laugh. He looks like he’s 17 again, shy and unsure.
Before either of you can say more, Daniel sidles up next to him, a beer in hand and an amused eyebrow raised as he glances between the two of you. “Know her?” Daniel asks, his voice dripping with curiosity.
“He does,” you reply smoothly before Max can fumble an answer. Your smirk is playful, but there’s no bite to it, just that same easy warmth Max hasn’t felt in what feels like forever. “I used to keep this one in line. Back when he was all awkward interviews and tragic haircuts.”
Daniel barks out a laugh, glancing at Max’s meticulously styled hair. “Tragic haircuts? Wait, this-” he gestures wildly at Max’s head, like it’s some architectural masterpiece “-is the improved version?”
You’re already laughing, and it’s the kind of laugh Max hasn’t heard in years.
He groans, dragging a hand over his face, though the corners of his mouth are betraying him with a faint smile. “Don’t encourage her,” he mutters to Daniel, but his tone is far too soft to have any weight.
It’s stupid how easy this feels. How natural. Max isn’t used to easy anymore.
Daniel, bless him, is soaking it all in.
“So?” he says, giving Max a teasing nudge. “Aren’t you going to introduce me, or do I have to guess?”
“I was getting there,” Max grumbles, shooting him a half-hearted glare before looking at you. For a moment, he falters. He doesn’t know what to call you. Acquaintance feels too cold. Stranger would be a lie. And friend? That feels like stepping too far into a past he’s not sure he’s ready to face.
“An old friend,” you offer, saving him effortlessly, like you always did. “And you must be the famous Daniel Ricciardo.”
Daniel grins, full of boyish charm. “Guilty as charged,” he says, tipping his beer in a mock toast. “And let me just say, I already like you. Great taste in insults.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere, Ricciardo,” you say, though your smirk says otherwise.
The three of you fall into an almost absurdly natural rhythm, as though you’ve all been doing this for years. Daniel’s effortless charisma bounces off your sharp wit, and Max finds himself smiling more in five minutes than he has in weeks.
Maybe months.
It’s like the weight on his shoulders has lifted, just for a moment, and he can breathe again.
You’re mid-story when he realizes he hasn’t felt this light in ages.
“So there I was,” you’re saying to Daniel, gesturing dramatically, “dragging Max out of his hotel room because he was refusing to face the world after a bad race.”
“I wasn’t refusing to face the world,” Max interjects, but there’s no real heat in his voice.
You give him a look that could level a building. “You were lying on the floor eating Haribo like it was your last meal,” you say, deadpan. “It was tragic. Genuinely tragic.”
Daniel’s cackling now, nearly spilling his beer. “Please tell me there are photos of this.”
“Sadly, no,” you reply with mock disappointment. “But the image is burned into my brain forever. It was that bad.”
Max groans, shaking his head, though the grin tugging at his lips is impossible to hide. “Why did I ever let you into my life?”
“Because no one else could handle you,” you fire back, and it’s so quick, so natural, it makes his chest ache.
Daniel takes a step back, still laughing. “You two are too much,” he says, pointing at the two of you like you’ve just performed a comedy sketch. “I’ll leave you to it. Don’t get too emotional without me, okay? I’m going to find another beer. Or maybe a Vespa to steal. Who knows?”
You watch him disappear into the crowd, still grinning. For a moment, the two of you are left standing there, and the noise of the party seems to fade just slightly.
“Daniel’s fun,” you say, breaking the silence.
“He is,” Max agrees.
When the music starts bumping up again, the two of you are faced with a whole other problem entirely.
“So, you’ve been busy!” you yell, leaning across the sticky bar top, your voice barely cutting through the bass thumping around you.
“What?” Max shouts back, leaning closer.
“I SAID, YOU’VE BEEN BUSY!”
“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”
“I KNOW! THAT’S WHY I’M SHOUTING!”
“WHAT?”
You throw your hands up in exasperation, but he just smirks, clearly enjoying this.
So you double down.
“DO YOU WANT ANOTHER DRINK?” you bellow, miming holding a glass.
“WHY ARE YOU YELLING ABOUT DRINKS?” he shouts back, baffled.
“BECAUSE IT’S TOO LOUD IN HERE!”
“WHAT?”
This back-and-forth nonsense goes on for an impressively ridiculous three minutes, the two of you getting progressively louder, until Max finally groans, shaking his head like he’s reached his limit.
He steps closer, leans in like he’s about to shout something else, then just presses a warm, steady hand to the small of your back. “Come on,” he says, not even bothering to raise his voice this time.
“What?” you yell, still committed to the bit.
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he starts gently steering you toward the stairs, and you stumble a little, caught off guard by the unexpected physical contact.
“Where are we going?” you shout, craning your neck to look at him as you climb.
“UPSTAIRS!”
“WHY?”
“BECAUSE I VALUE MY HEARING!” he fires back, glaring at you over his shoulder.
“OH, NOW YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR HEARING?” you tease, but he ignores you, his hand still firm and insistent on your back as he guides you upstairs.
The VIP section is quieter, tucked away from the pulsating bass and the sweaty chaos of the main club floor. Max had slipped a word to a bouncer—who nodded in a way that made you roll your eyes—and now you’re here, sinking into the plush leather of a semi-circular booth with a ridiculous view of the dance floor below.
The second you step into the VIP area, the relative silence hits you like a warm blanket. You blink, adjusting to the sudden absence of aggressive EDM, and turn to Max, who looks much too smug for your liking.
“Smuggled into VIP like I’m some sort of black-market item,” you tease. “Careful, Verstappen. This is how egos start.”
“You’re welcome,” he says dryly.
“For what?” you shoot back. “The privilege of not getting tinnitus at 27?”
“Yes,” he replies smoothly, sliding into a nearby booth like he owns the place. “You’re lucky to know me.”
“Oh, absolutely,” you deadpan. “My life has improved immeasurably since you dragged me up here. I’ll write a thank-you card.”
“Make sure it’s handwritten,” he quips, signaling a waiter for drinks. “And don’t skimp on the stationery.”
“You’re ridiculous,” you say, rolling your eyes but you’re smiling, and he knows it.
He chuckles, leaning forward slightly. “Hey, if you’re going to criticize, at least admit this is better than shouting at each other over terrible music.”
You glance around the room, all dark wood and dim lighting, where a few scattered people are having hushed conversations or staring down at the dance floor with an air of superiority. “Alright,” you admit, “it’s not terrible. But the crowd up here…”
You nod toward a guy at the next table wearing sunglasses, inside, and sipping champagne like it’s water. “Is this your scene now? Bottle service bros and indoor eyewear enthusiasts?”
Max glances at the guy, smirking. “Not my scene. But I figured you deserved something better than sticky floors and overpriced tequila shots.”
You laugh. “Wow. I feel so special. Nothing says friendship like a quiet room and a drink I can’t pronounce.”
“Admit it,” he says, leaning back again. “You love it.”
“I love judging it,” you correct, grinning. “Big difference.”
Max watches you for a moment, shaking his head with an almost fond expression. “You haven’t changed at all.”
“And you’ve changed too much,” you shoot back, gesturing at his ridiculously put-together outfit. “Look at you, Verstappen. Fancy haircut, custom clothes, actual social skills. Who are you?”
“First of all, the haircut is functional,” he retorts, mock offended. “Aerodynamics.”
“Oh, of course. Wouldn’t want your hair slowing you down at 300 kph,” you say, pretending to be serious.
“It’s a real thing!” he insists, laughing now. “If you knew anything about racing-”
“If I knew anything about racing?” you interrupt, your voice rising in mock outrage. “Excuse me, I was there when you had to Google how to talk to the media without sounding like a robot. You think I don’t know the intricacies of racing, Maxy?”
“Don’t call me Maxy,” he groans, dragging a hand down his face.
“Oh, I’m definitely calling you Maxy,” you say, delighted. “I might even get a custom T-shirt. ‘Maxy’s Biggest Fan.’ I’ll wear it to a race.”
He narrows his eyes at you. “If you do that, I’ll steal your phone and delete every embarrassing photo you’ve ever taken of me.”
“Bold of you to assume I don’t have backups,” you say smugly, sipping your drink.
“Unbelievable,” he mutters, shaking his head, but there’s a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.
For a moment, the two of you fall into an easy silence, the noise of the club below fading into the background. You glance at Max, noting the relaxed set of his shoulders, the way he’s fiddling with the label on his beer bottle—a habit he’s had for as long as you can remember.
“So,” you say, breaking the quiet, “what’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve bought since you became all… you know.”
“All what?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“You know,” you say, waving a hand vaguely. “World Champion. Multi-millionaire. Guy who smuggles old friends into VIP sections.”
He chuckles. “Ridiculous? I don’t know… probably the private jet.”
You stare at him, deadpan. “The private jet is the least ridiculous thing about you, Verstappen. Try again.”
“Fine,” he says, thinking for a moment. “I bought a sauna for my house. Didn’t use it for six months.”
You burst out laughing. “A sauna? For what? Post-race existential crises?”
He groans, rubbing his temples. “It was a bad idea, okay? I thought it would be relaxing.”
“Did it come with, like, a tiny man who throws water on the rocks for you?” you ask, grinning.
“No, but now I kind of want one,” he admits, laughing.
“God, you’re the worst,” you say, shaking your head, but your tone is full of affection.
“And you’re jealous,” he fires back.
“Of your unused sauna?” you say, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m absolutely consumed with envy.”
The two of you dissolve into laughter and the conversation continues.
Next thing you know it’s 3 am and you and Max are stumbling out of the club, too giggly for both of your sakes.
Daniel had hopped on to another place hours ago so it’s just you and him.
The cool night air hits you like a slap, but instead of sobering up, it just makes you giggle harder.
Max freezes mid-stumble, his head lolling back like he’s auditioning for Les Mis on the world’s worst stage. “Why’s the air so aggressive?” he slurs. “Feels like it’s… pushing me. Rude.”
“Why’s the ground so spinny?” you counter, stumbling sideways into him.
“'Cause you’re bad at walking,” he accuses, latching onto your arm like a barnacle while swaying dramatically.
“You’re bad at walking,” you fire back, immediately tripping over a shadow and nearly eating pavement.
“You can’t even walk straight!” Max protests, laughing as he catches you before you faceplant.
His arm slides around your waist, steadying you in the most unsteady way possible.
“You’re the one spinning,” you argue, slurring every other word. “Maaaybe you should ju- just stay still for once in your life.”
“Oh, because you’re the expert,” he fires back, wheezing as you nearly trip again. “Where- where are you even staying at?”
You squint at him, trying to focus. “Uh… good question.”
Max stops dead in his tracks, turning to look at you with a mix of disbelief and amusement. “What do you mean good question? How do you not know?”
“I don’t rememb- ber,” you admit, cackling as if it’s the funniest thing in the world.
Max groans, dragging a hand down his face. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re just- what? Homeless now?”
“Homeless for the night,” you correct, wagging a finger at him like that somehow makes it better.
Max laughs so hard he has to pause, doubling over slightly. “How- how do you forget where you’re staying?”
“’S not my fault!” you defend yourself, leaning heavily against him. “The hotel has, like… a name! A boring one! And too many floors!”
Max groans so loudly it echoes off the buildings. “Oh my God. You’re homeless now. You’re a wandering drunk with no home.”
“I'm trying a new lifestyle,” you say, grinning. “Like… nomadic, y’know? Spiritual.”
“Yeah, okay, Buddha, let’s find you a real place to sleep before you start befriending rats,” he mutters, dragging you down the street.
“I like rats,” you say cheerfully. “They’re just misunderstood.”
“You’re misunderstood,” Max shoots back. “Come on. You’re crashing at my hotel. I can’t leave you out here to, like, adopt a possum or something.”
“I don’t wanna!” you whine, digging your heels into the ground.
“Tough!” Max barks, throwing his arm around your shoulders to keep you moving. “You’ll thank me in the morning when you’re not spooning a garbage can.”
You groan dramatically, slumping into him. “Maxxyyy, I’m tired. Can’t I just sleep on a bench or something?”
“Nooo. No benches. Benches are gross. You’ll get, like… pigeons on you.”
“Pigeons are my friends,” you declare solemnly, as if this is a hill you’re prepared to die on.
Max shakes his head, clearly trying to stay serious but failing miserably. “Okay, Dr. Dolittle, you’re not sleeping outside.”
You groan again, dragging your feet even as he starts pulling you along.
“Stop whining,” he slurs, swaying as he tries to walk in a straight line. “It’ll be like- like a sleepover! Like when we were five.”
“Sleepovers at five were better,” you mutter. “Less… you.”
“Excuse me?” Max stops, glaring at you like you’ve mortally offended him. “I’m the best sleepover buddy. I let you steal my Haribo once.”
“You hid the Haribo under your pillow!” you counter, poking him in the chest.
“’Cause you’re a thief!” he says, grinning as he pulls you toward the street corner.
“Am not,” you huff, pouting.
“Are too,” he replies, but his tone is teasing as he hails a cab.
When the cab pulls up, it feels like the world is tilted just enough that the ground might collapse under your feet at any moment. You both tumble into the backseat in a fit of giggles, your laughter echoing off the darkened streets.
It’s the kind of laughter that’s born of a little bit too much alcohol and a whole lot of absurdity. You could’ve sworn you heard a streetlight flicker in disbelief at the sound of your shared joy.
“You smell like tequila and poor decisions,” he mutters with a lazy drawl, his words slow but somehow still cutting through the haze of the night.
Max flops dramatically against you as if the very act of sitting upright requires more effort than it’s worth.
His head lands squarely on your shoulder, and for a split second, you’re both tangled in the shared warmth of a really questionable decision.
He looks up at you, eyes half-lidded, and grins like a kid who just got away with stealing candy.
Max’s eyes widen in mock outrage. “I did not!” He shoots up from your shoulder like you just insulted his very existence, but the motion sends him veering dangerously toward the cab door.
You’re already shaking your head before you even speak, the words spilling out one over the other. “You smell like someone who wore Axe in high school.”
He catches himself at the last second, gripping the seat like it’s a lifeline.
Max is practically in tears from laughing, his snort-laugh echoing off the walls of the cab as he tries to argue that Axe is, in fact, a perfectly fine product, just poorly misunderstood by society.
By the time the cab pulls up to Max’s hotel, you're both deep into a discussion about whether Axe body spray could be classified as a biohazard in certain quantities.
It’s a ridiculous debate, fueled by far too much tequila and a complete disregard for logic, but it’s the most fun either of you have had in ages.
The cab screeches to a halt, and Max stumbles out first, holding the door open for you with the kind of exaggerated flair you’d expect from someone who probably practices his dramatic entrances in front of a mirror.
As he pays the driver, his wallet slips from his hands not once, but twice, and he’s already apologizing profusely, his face flushed from the alcohol and his own clumsiness.
Finally, he gets the wallet sorted, tucks it back in his pocket, and reaches down to drag you out of the cab like you’re a piece of luggage.
You’re both barely standing, teetering back and forth on your feet as if gravity itself is conspiring to make the night even more ridiculous.
“Your palace has really ugly carpet,” you mutter, laughing as you trip over the offending fabric, your feet not quite able to keep up with your brain’s idea of where they should go.
“Welcome to my humble abode,” Max says, throwing his arm out grandly to gesture toward the hotel lobby like he’s unveiling the Louvre.
The marble floors, polished to a shine, the sleek, understated furniture… none of it compares to the visual assault that is the ugly carpet underfoot.
Max snorts, his hand steadying you as you almost face-plant into a particularly gaudy potted plant. “You’re banned from the palace,” he retorts, giving you a playful shove.
You recover, and together, you stagger toward the elevator, which, for some reason, feels like an obstacle course in itself.
The elevator doors open with a dramatic ding, and Max promptly starts jabbing the wrong floor button in a series of random, very confident moves.
Each one is a miss, but he keeps at it, as if this were somehow part of the plan.
Max grumbles under his breath but finally, miraculously, hits the correct floor button. He turns to you with an exaggerated wink. “See? I told you. Genius.”
You lean against the wall, your body shaking with laughter as you struggle to breathe through the giggles.
“This is why they don’t let you operate machinery,” you manage to gasp, watching him fumble with the buttons in disbelief.
You raise an eyebrow, patting him on the head condescendingly. “Sure you are, buddy. A true mastermind.”
When the doors finally open, you both stumble out, holding on to each other uselessly.
The elevator ride is a blur of jokes and half-baked insults as you both fight to keep your composure.
Max leans against the wall with a smug look, clearly reveling in his victory over the elevator button.
“Jesus. You okay there, Einstein?” you tease, leaning casually against the wall and watching him drop the card once more. You can’t help but laugh.
At the door to his room, Max proceeds to fumble with his key card in a way that can only be described as tragically incompetent.
The key card slips from his fingers twice, and each time, he lets out a string of expletives in a garble of Dutch and English.
“Shut up,” he mutters, his voice already tinged with frustration. “Technology’s hard.”
“This bed is softer than my hopes and dreams,” you mumble, your voice muffled by the comforter as you stretch out like a starfish.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the door swings open, and Max stumbles inside with the grace of a rhino on roller skates.
He turns to face you with a theatrical sigh. “There. I did it. Happy now?”
You’re already halfway to the bed, your shoes flying off in opposite directions, one ending up by the dresser and the other getting lodged under a chair.
With a dramatic thud, you collapse onto the bed, your body sinking into the soft, luxurious comfort like it was the only thing holding you together.
“Nope,” you reply, barely lifting a finger to indicate where his side is. “Your side’s over there,” you say, pointing vaguely toward the edge of the bed, but it’s clear from the way your eyes are barely staying open that you’re not in any shape to play the “bedroom politics” game.
Max, predictably, flops down beside you with the subtlety of a sack of bricks, his arms and legs sprawling out in every direction.
“Move over,” he grumbles, his face smooshed into the pillow.
“Too bad,” Max grunts, grabbing your pillow from beneath your head and smushing it over his face. “This is a dictatorship, and I’m the dictator.”
For a brief moment, it feels like nothing’s changed at all.
“Goodnight, Haribo hoarder,” you slur, your words trailing off into nothing as sleep drags you under.
The last thing you hear before you fully fade into unconsciousness is Max’s muffled laugh, and you can’t help but smile.
—-
Max stretches, or at least tries to. His arms flail in an uncoordinated spasm, which results in a series of awkward grunts and a pop from his back that sounds like a joint trying to jump ship.
Max’s eyes snap open, and for a second, everything is blurry.
He blinks a few times, the weight of his eyelids making it feel like he’s wading through molasses.
A dull ache sits in the back of his skull, a reminder of the questionable choices he made the night before.
He groans, dry, scratchy, the kind of noise that only belongs to mornings where you regret both your life decisions and your snack choices.
He’s still in his room. So far, so good.
Nothing seems out of the ordinary... except for that persistent feeling in the air that something is off.
For a second, he considers staying perfectly still, hoping his body will remember how to function like a normal human.
But then—
There’s something warm beside him. Something... alive.
Max freezes, eyes snapping wide open. His breath catches in his throat as he tries to process what’s happening. The warmth next to him isn’t the soft comfort of a pillow.
It’s... a person.
A person in his bed.
What the actual hell?
His brain goes into overdrive, trying to make sense of the situation. His mind races through a thousand thoughts in a second, each one more ridiculous than the last.
Did he... did he end up getting a stranger drunk last night? Did someone break into his room to cuddle with him?
Max’s eyes dart to his left, and it hits him like a freight train.
The person is you.
You, sprawled across the bed, fast asleep, your hair tousled and your face peaceful, completely unaware of his mounting panic.
“I need to call Daniel..”
For a moment, Max just stares, brain failing to catch up.
How did this happen? His head starts swimming. His mouth goes dry. His first thought is that he’s dreaming..except, no.
This is far too real. He’s not that lucky.
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stargirlbryce · 8 months ago
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Phone addiction and depression is not a good combo
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spacemothes · 19 days ago
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hnnnngggg i have.. to finish secret santa drawings
i have to stay focused.. but
hnrbfhjiewjk
I want to write isafrin mermaid au
or write a fic where sif is obsessed with photography
or mayhaps
write a sif as spiderman fic
hnnnnnnnggggggg
torture
this is
hell
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xxplastic-cubexx · 4 months ago
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one of my fave traits about erik is how sassy he is so i dont understand how im always surprised to find during rewatches of the xmen movies that he is So Sassy at like. any given moment
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fungusqueen · 8 months ago
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Would anyone want more Spanish-learning posts from me? I keep a Spanish language notebook where I keep notes just for my own reference (including all my notes from class). Depending on how diligently I'm watching a show, I'll try to compile vocabulary lists like the one above, which is basically new (to me) words I've picked up. This list encompasses Season 1 of the Desperate Housewives. It seems like more people are either using Duolingo, or have some increased interest in learning a second language so I figure it might be helpful. Let me know!
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le-panda-chocovore · 4 months ago
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Soft Thought of the Day :
Toji watching his partner slowly waking up, with a sweet smile on his face, just waiting for them to be awake enough to kiss their lovely lips after a "G'morning sleeping beauty" with his deep voice
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autumnoakes · 7 days ago
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my hot take of the day is that breath of the wild and tears of the kingdom are not adaptable into any other format. by doing so, you'd lose a huge part of both games which is exploration. if you follow a predetermined narrative, it's a different formula. a huge point of botw was that you could do the main story in whatever order you want. hell, you could even not do the main story if you really wanted to. the any% speedrun is like 25 minutes because you can just. go to the final boss. and totk is bigger, but it's not much different. you can't adapt that freedom of exploration and choice into another format in a way that really matters.
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crazylittlejester · 2 months ago
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For the fic requests: an angsty mini fic on how warriors is 17 not 25 no pressure though!
im not taking angst prompts rn, but i DO have under my “jes mini fic” tag somethin along this line even if it isnt the angstiest and then other larger scale projects involving Warriors being younger :)
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doedipus · 8 months ago
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a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.
it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.
#I wrote a short story from her perspective over the holidays and then didn't know how to continue it#and then I got distracted by real life stuff for a few months#I forget if I posted about that#and then I've been picking through archive dot org for the last few weeks looking at this stuff#the last big rabbit hole was trying to get a better feel for era appropriate ts/tv subculture#the current one I'm looking at is how she would've gotten into language learning and how that would've worked#nettle has been prodding me about the setting thing lately so I've been thinking about that more too#probably the biggest hurdle by far is figuring out how I want to play that#and how I want the thing to be divided up#since the original coc scenario I'm developing this out of is centered on a flight from LA to honolulu#and the airport dungeon was definitely meant to be a hook for a larger campaign#some amount of it is going to cover protag lady's failed life in LA and some of it is going to be worse things happening in hawaii#but it's like. how much do I want to balance it one way or the other#and realistically how much does the aesthetics of 20th century air travel add to the story#besides me personally thinking it's compelling ofc#a lot of what I find compelling about hawaii is that it's an east/west cultural crossroads and realistically that's also true of socal#and I can wax poetic about socal as much as I want without worrying all that much about mishandling something#and there's also a lot of socal specific history along similar parallels to pull from that I'm more familiar with#I guess it comes down to whether curiosity re: 'doing it right' is enough of a motivator to do the increased amount of research#which I guess it has so far with the above character details. so hopefully that will continue#but it also feels like using machine translation a bit yknow. it's hard to know how effectively I'll be able to sanity check#although depending on where this goes I might be able to get other people involved to sensitivity read down the line#with most of the creative things I do I just have a tendency to always rely really heavily on figuring things out myself#I also want protag lady to have a Cool Car and idk how to get that from point a to point b narratively#this is like an entire second or third post's worth of tags but I don't feel like unfucking this so whatever. suffer. I guess.
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candyheartedchy · 2 years ago
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I keep forgetting to draw…
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.
#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there#im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold#at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire#theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade#of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about#the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc#its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a#metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm#just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long#sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone#its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it#everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much#damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i#collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells#me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my#wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im#excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it#feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun#is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's#what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy#but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire#unrelated#hm i should maybe add a tw to this#tw self injury#but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life#but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it
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brittlebutch · 1 month ago
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the thing about the “love letter” core of these characters is that it is turning out to be a very fascinating coping mechanism. of like, when i have that moment of “oh no my autism is making me so fucking annoying/embarrassing/whatever right now” self-awareness, instead of getting shuttled into the semi-usual downward self-cringing spiral, i find myself breaking off into “actually, i think one of these characters does the exact same thing and the other one Loves them for it”, which i find i like a lot more
#N posts stuff#this one not for the side blog bc it’s more about Me than the characters specifically lol#BUT i will say that yes this was triggered by me realizing several hours into a movie marathon that i was constantly#talking over the movies and kinda spoiling them just bc i got excited to talk about them & forget to think about like#the fact that other people can hear me and don’t have my exact comprehension/knowledge of things and whatever. Oops#but then also yeah. i think changeling does this constantly and augustus loves it bc she likes how it makes the movie predictable#like it’s not just that she likes listening to changeling infodump she Genuinely likes having a distracting interjection that tells her what#to expect from the movie. like she doesn’t like watching movies but she Does like watching them with changeling specifically bc the way it#cannot shut up for once does serve to make the experience more accessible to her. it’s More enjoyable that way#now IRL with Me it’s not like i’d use this as an excuse to disregard other people’s experiences or complaints or anything#but like tonight specifically no one said anything so it feels safe to assume no one was Actually that bothered#and that’s one of those things where i Could make myself miserable trying to figure out if people secretly hate me for being annoying#but also why would i? i can’t read minds to know if i should stop so i shouldn’t read minds to self-flagellate after the fact if it is#Equally Possible no one complained bc no one was bothered. is that making sense?#i know what i mean at least. i do love these characters tho i feel like i have never been happier to create something :3
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daz4i · 3 months ago
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i literally can't think about life or the future for more than a few seconds without getting so distressed that i shut down. surely this is a good sign for things to come
#true about any aspect of those. personal life. local politics. world disasters etc#i can't focus on one and approach it first bc even that's already too much for me#i was genuinely truly literally not made to be alive. i am not built for this. i shouldn't have survived this long#i feel like an error in the book of fate. like i accidentally dodged the grim reaper for too long#there is too much of me inside my brain. if that makes sense. i am long overdue. etc etc#what is that even called is it still depression at this point 😭😭😭 it's like a whole new thing fr#seriously tho how the fuck does one even get over it. being in a state of mind like that means no therapist would even try working with me#(bc well if i don't think i should be alive how am i supposed to work to get better. esp when i don't see any reason to)#(kinda like a festering wound in a body part that should've been cut off ages ago)#everything feels pointless bc of how shitty the future will be no matter what. like there is truly no hope at all#this isn't pessimism it's just facts. there is no good ending here no matter what. unless you overhaul reality completely#vent#:/ i should probably try to sleep but i'm doing really bad#idk if i'll have nightmares or just a very sad dream like i had last night. i don't seem to have much else going on there in my brain#negative //#sorryyyyyy#i'd ask for help but idk what help to even ask for. what anyone could even offer. like there is no solution or a way to forget it#best i can do is distract myself all the time but that's really hard to do when a lot of what i have going on makes me feel bad too#. rambling in nonsensical ways atp sorry. brain is being mean and stupid
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yeahlikethebird · 7 months ago
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#it's 1am and i'm depressed and don't want to go to bed#there's such an unbelievable amount of century-defining tragedy and horror in the world rn#and i know that’s always true but jfc we know about so much more of it simultaneously now#like i'm supposed to be chill and functional in the face of war pandemic climate change forever chemicals micro plastics and fascism?#and and and?#i'm supposed to smile and ask follow-up questions when people tell me about vacations to Hawaii#rather than shaking them and saying holy fuck stop doing that please learn about the ramifications and historical context of your actions#i'm supposed to smile and give a measured response when a new coworker asks my other coworker and me#when they can/SHOULD use generative AI *for work purposes*#rather than screaming and throwing articles at them about the environmental impact of LLM bullshit#and that's all large scale#that's not getting into the fact that there's a growing family chilliness over refusal to communicate about I/P shit#or the fact that my mom is dying slowly and hates it and is worsening her relationship with my siblings little by little#or the fact that I'm peeling away at my sanity trying to process a divorce and get healthcare for my cat and dental care for myself#or the fact that it takes hours of research to find DISH SOAP THAT DOESN’T KILL THE MICROBIOMES OF THE LOCAL WATER SUPPLY#(10/10 recommend 'blueland' for that if you're reading btw)#like i'm painfully aware of the back-patting level of efficacy that i have for buying different soap and going to the farmer's market#but there's only so much i can do so i have to try to do what i can right? but it's so little and everything is so much#and my mental health is a mess; the fact that my particular neurotype is known to get more volatile with age scares the shit oit of me#like it's this bad at 33 and it gets WORSE?#my job is great for personal privilege but so *so* meaningless and redundant#and how tf do i look at all of this and not feel fucking hopeless?#i can distract myself with my garden but the candide approach was myopic even in the 17th century so it's hard to justify now#I'm so tired#just... fuck man#tag rant#i should delete this but I'll forget if you read this far i hope it wasnt damaging to your mental health#i just had to let off the brain scream pressure somewhere
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spaghetticat3899 · 7 months ago
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My mother, who claims to have ADHD, saying the video discussing ADHD and how it effects productivity is “super long and repetitive”, as if it’s not written by someone with ADHD.
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lucyvaleheart · 8 months ago
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