#and i think why the fuck were they actually naked in that
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(Matchmaker Charlie AU)
*Charlie woke up confused, instead of in her bed with Vaggie, she was laying on the softest grass she felt, it even put her bed to shame when it came to softness*
?: Are you alright? Are you an angel, you must be a new one since I haven’t met you before, but you look like an angel.
*Charlie sat up and was in awe of the beauty around her, also the voice she heard sounded familiar to her, she looked up and saw a man sitting on a tree branch, the only word she could use to describe this man was beautiful, he had lightly tanned skin, short hair the color of milk chocolate, and brown eyes with a hint of honey gold to them, the most shocking was that this man was very much naked, in fact he had no shame in showing off his dick that would be quite impressive though Charlie hadn’t seen many dicks to compare*
Charlie: Wait, who are you?
*the man giggled cutely*
?: Don’t you know who I am, I am Adam the first human man.
*Charlie then remembered the same voice sounding more arrogant saying “Do you know who I am, I’m fucking Adam” but this was nothing like the man she met at Heaven’s Embassy, in fact he wasn’t even like the man that was described in the book her mom wrote about the origins of Hell, Adam jumped down from the tree looking her over in a very innocent manner*
Adam: You look like an Archangel Luci.
Charlie: Luci?
Adam: Luci is the best, in fact he should be here soon. I can take you to meet him. I forgot to ask what your name is.
Charlie: My name is Charlie, it’s nice to meet you Adam.
*she held her hand out to Adam and he shook with such a friendly smile, Charlie wondered when Adam would start acting like how her mother had described her, he took her hand and they walked through what Charlie realized was Eden, there was actually something endearing about Adam, just then they stopped at a pond with the cutest little ducks she had ever seen, she knew that her father probably would have loved a place like this, Adam then got a smile as he looked up*
Adam: Luci!!!!
*Charlie looked up and gasped, it was her father, Lucifer Morningstar when he was an angel of Heaven, she looked over at Adam and realization hit her*
Charlie internally: Adam was in love with my dad.
She watched as Adam ran over to her father Luicfer and they hugged each other, Lucifer even spun him around a little bit.
Lucifer: Addie! It's so good to see you dove.
Charlie was so shocked by the affectionate nickname and how Adam flushed pink. They looked at each other like they were the most perfect beings in the universe.
Adam: Oh, you just have to meet the new angel her name is Charlie!
Lucifer looked puzzled, new angel? Surely he would have heard if his father made a new angel. He looked over to her and was shocked, this girl was very pretty but she didn't look angelic. She actually looked like a female version of himself with red and yellow eyes.
How odd.
Lucifer smiled and held out his hand: Nice to meet you Charlie.
Charlie shook his hand: Hi da-.... Lucifer. It's nice to meet you.
Adam ran over and picked up a duckling and held it up for both Lucifer and Charlie, his smile wide and innocent.
Adam: Look! They just had babies, aren't they just the sweetest?
Lucifer: Yes! Do you remember your purpose Adam? To eventually have babies of your own?
Adam nodded, his smile was shy and Charlie didn't miss the way his hand went to his belly as if he were the one that wanted to carry the baby.
Adam knew he had to have kids at some point but he wanted them with Lucifer so badly, he didn't think Lilith liked him very much and he didn't know why.
Charlie could see the shy looks they were giving each other. Did her dad.... Love Adam back?
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Mr. Capgras encounters a secondhand pAIR OF PANTS FOR FUCKS SAKE WILLIAM
#shitpost#i still am so curious abt what led him to this decision lmao#whaat made him think it’d be a good idea#how did he not forsee the comments section#mr capgras encounters a secondhand vanity: tulpamancer's prosopagnosia/pareidolia (as direct result of trauma to the fusiform gyrus)#sometimes i get flashed by the MV preview on spotify in public#and i think why the fuck were they actually naked in that#and how the actual fuck did that vid not get sniped immediately after being posted to YT#It’s still (kinda) on there after 8 whole years#will wood#wee woo#raven’s ramblings#i sure do love making the tags 40x longer than the actual post
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my hot take of the day is that clearly the people who swallow the in universe targ & valyrian exceptionalism are being completely taken in by the exact system that george is trying to critique but also i think the people who over correct into this idea that not a single targaryen is worthy of like, our empathy or sorrow or are rightfully chafing against the structures put in place by valyrians, first men, and andals alike are also being incredibly 2d in their analysis. i feel like this happens most often when people try to make the case that andals are somehow oppressed in westerosi society on a cultural level simply bc valyrian supremacy trumps andal culture. i think this is incredibly silly to say or posit as the truth in universe because there is in fact some oppression of culture in westeros but it’s not the andals lol!!! it’s the first men, the dornish, the rhoynar/greenblood orphans, and the ironborn. there Is some level of,,,, idk bigotry/xenophobia towards valyrians but only valyrians who don’t worship the faith - people like larra rogare, who still follow valyrian gods, do face this bigotry because they’re Too Foreign, the same way someone like thoros, melisandre, taena, etc who are essosi but not from a still heavy valyrian-based society like volantis and lys, and that’s definitely important to the conversation, because it shows the Dominant Culture is in fact the Andal culture when it comes to westeros and that’s like,,, fine, and even more interesting to me to see how andals, who have been the dominant force on westeros for thousands of years, interact with valyrians, who clearly want to keep ideas of valyrian supremacy alive somehow and essentially try to get the other dominant force in westeros to buy in (which they do!). like, are these two at odds sometimes? yes! but i don’t think it’s correct to say that the andals face ~prejudice for being andals or followers of the faith either!
#like certainly people in fandom get insane about the andals bc they’re projecting their hate of catholicism onto them.#but george himself is not writing about how all catholics are inherently evil he’s writing about the STRUCTURE being evil. i think the#series in fact finds something useful in one person’s individual faith & the way they may internalize it. that’s why we get the quiet isle!#getting on my soap box#yes i did see a post about the [redacted] being oppressed by the mean evil valyrians and rolled my eyes.#anyways like this idea that the valyrians are being forcibly assimilated? false! they are doing it very willingly as a matter of fact! aegon#and jaehaerys and viserys all in fact are clearly trying to mesh themselves with andals not bc they are forcing the family to assimilate#but bc they believe the only way to keep valyrian supremacy going is to team up with the culture in westeros that Does frequently impose#itself on its neighbors! i’m not saying the andals are like the ultimate big bad evil here either that’s just as stupid as the knee jerk#‘every targ is evil and anyone who fights them is morally corrupt’ thing that happens in this dumb ass fandom but i AM saying the andals cut#down every weirwood in the south & attempted to do like glorified missionary work in the iron islands instead of actually engaging w what it#is that makes the ironborn so fucking deranged.#anyways the only leaders who are unproblematic are mors and nymeria for managing to mesh two cultures in a way that wasn’t insane aksjdj#dorne has its problems re: deeply entrenched class structures & the use of marriage as punishment but at least people aren’t whipping#ellaria naked through the streets like the andals love to do to essosi women 😭😭#‘oh didn’t dorne oppress the rhoynar’ i said they were better not perfect thank you!!!!! aksjd
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god i finally watched new episodes my honest reaction is jgiwoaoKzmxmkwkakkak
#it kinda doesnt feel real for me idk why#like i do not actually process all of it??#tho I DO have ideas and thinking i did pay attention#maybe i've just had a wild day i guess#but also oh god vex'ahlia broke my heart#twice#first time were when scanlan was talking how he couldn't be at two places at the same time to help 'em and she said nobody gives a fuck#i feel so bad for scanlan rn i love him#haven't watched campaing to the bard's lament yet but oh fuck im too spoiled i do know what happens where (a little bit)#the second time was when she said she really cares for percy i started crying at that moment#also im a lil bit disappointed cuz i thought we would get percys death and vex's spech but we got “i open the door completly naked” scene ->#and im very happy we got it like oh wow i didn't expect that#but idk im just a girl and i love percahlia's slowburn#since i watched 64 eps of actual campaign it become hard for me to not compare campaign and tlovm cuz obviosly its very different#but with percahlia in tlovm we don't have hours and hours of campaign context#(we don't have percy making her arrows)#and i understand why cuz 100+ streams 3+ hours each is one thing and animated series with 12 eps of 25 minutes is another#but as i said previosly it is very hard for me to not compare it#by the way i do think changes in tlovm make sense#cuz like?? i think vex is more sharpy in tlovm than in campaign?? like#like she punced scanlan in first season and in campaign they are kinda good friends and i really love them??#*punched#and i think she's more ?? bossy i guess?? idk how to put it into words but in my head it makes sense “i open the door completly naked” ->#goes earlier than “i shouldve told you its yours” cuz shes playing pretend even more than in campaign???#acts like its casual when its actually isnt AT ALL#and im glad percy said “what is it i want” to vex cuz its kinda like that scene in campaign when percy talked to vax#when he called them all family for the first time and said he's trying to find what he wants in life#i love percy and vax dynamic btw#i wanted to write even more here but apparently i can do only 30 tags wtf#they want me to actually write posts oh no. hate to put it all in tags but im too nervous abt posting on the internet
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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On: today i dreamt...
What started as a story about a group of gangster breaking into an abandoned (but not really?) prison to film their movie and being caught soon devolved into an international conspiracy filled with subplots about love and corruption, culminating with both groups that we thought were equally righteous finding out not everything was quite as it seems.
#luly talks#i had to run a man on all 4s to catch him it was great#movie-dream started about like torture with our protags being thrown into a container at first full of blood and missing limbs#but that soon got dropped w the only thing left of it being this one man who had part of his jaw and ribs falling/peeling off#and he had to lovers an old one who was kissing him and a new one#(a cop; too) who was looking at his naked for for the first time as he looked at the sea and sunset#and she slowly approached him before starting to kiss his somehow still bleeding wounds as he mourned the pain of being crucified#like that guy literally never showed up again#oh my god actually there was something aside from that there was a really fucked up sims world that just couldn't be real#and ended w marge and homer drowning i think (their house was underwater) and Maggie dying too as a nursery rhyme played#and there was also a random event of domestic violence#anyway about the movie-dream; it had something to do about the government making illnesses and having the cure but keeping it#and it was tied to reagan but we all were talking spanish (tbf movie-dream; could've been dubbed DKDHNSGD) and the reason why we realized#this was because a radio message of a british girl named sumthin like casey i think who had cancer or something#and basically the government knew and had the mediums to cure her but wouldn't do it#so in the end me and this girl who discovered this conspiracy and the other and og group who was doing fuck all i guess came back together#and at first my friend pretended to be all of our enemies (she was enemies w only one guy there) but then we turned on the guy#and as I guess revenge on the people who were supporting this goverment conspiracy and helping it instead of killing them we grabbed them#and flashed a weird scan light onto their eye which made em be infected#<- in dream this shit was cool as fuck ok?#and then everyone went on w their lives and in the bud#bus* ppl spoke w me and gave me food leftovers to help out those who needed em but it felt... awkward#like they were doing it out of fear instead of kindness y'know#oh btw i rode an helicopter 😁
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im sick
#ok you have to trust me this is not about anything /gen.#i just. could not make her face work in my first sketch so i gave up =w=bb#and then i couldnt be bothered to shade her body so. glitch.#also do you like the background. its been my ipad wallpaper for like two years.#i like clouds as wallpaper theyre so perfect =w=bbb#sillyposting#my work#do you think were deep enough in the tags to talk about it?#anyway i dont like talking about it but it is nice that theyre there.#somehow this turned into a neutral/sad drawing bc i couldnt fucking do her face justice and so.#also yes the reason were naked is bc i didnt want to do clothes. which has lead us to our current situation.#ig im glad some parts of my body werent visible bc thatd be worse.#also bc i dont fucking want to draw my fishy or teeth tats. =w=b#anyway anyway i realized after making this that i have two other significant scars that i didnt do.#OH SHIT actually i forgot about more of my significant scars.#ig something about being on the lower arms and getting used to them makes you forget. which is nice#anyway anyway anyway yeagh i havent had top surgery yet but fuck me if i cant give it to my sona.#also im not yet dead set on starnipples but i do like the idea =w=bb#aughh as soon as my mom realizes i already have tattoos and i feel comfortable getting them on 'visible' places ill get stars on my knees.#grr i still feel so awkward even talking about tattoos bc. somehow theyre still tabboo to me??? idk why.#maybe theyre still too personal to me bc :/ despite a few friends (2) having seen my fishy.....#waugh#ok.#its nice to have a sona =w=b i like my scars but it is still hard to be proud of them bc. reasons duh#also yes those were an attempt at diy surgery. no not a serious one but yes about the frustration of it all. its somewhat reassuring.#ok no more nitpicking or thoughts about things ive gotta eat lessgoo#o7
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idk i rly am bad at talking to ppl i used to be a lot better at it like. i was still overthinking every single thing that happened but i was at least able to power through and talk and come off as casual you know. but now i like. i literally overthink any thing i could aay so instead i judt sit rhere like O_O. constantly. and i dont make eye contact. and i wear headphones 24/7 (they arent always on) and so ppl judt think im a bitch or i dont care but its like like No i do want to talk i want to relearn how to talk to ppl so badly but the issue is i need to talk to ppl first and thats like. physically impossible for me
#AND THE WORST PART IS IM SUCH A FUCKING YAPPERRR so i cant just like. relax and be myself in a conversation bc if i do that they will not#get a fucking word in edgewise and ill judt ramble and the conversation will jump to 80000 different topics and be incomprehensible#so i have to think abt everything i say and not allow myself to actually relax but ive lost the ability to restrict myself the right amt so#now im literally like what if an extroverted asexual and an introverted pansexual were roommates . why is that like the second time ive#referenced all or nothing today#Im rly sorry ?#i have to have my headphones or i feel naked... its rly very scary not wearing headphones im not abt that lifestyle#even if im not playing anything i like to have them on. and usually powerwd on to noisecancelling or else its literally like everything is#trying to get me#and i cant go outside in the dahtime bc the light is way too bright and it hurts my eyes something awful. im like doomed to be a shutin#forever#like it sucks ik the advice is just relax and be yourself but i genuinely cannot fucking do that there is not a me to be. but im unable to#adequately disguise that anymore. its all quite difficult
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How the Hashira men react to your neighbor asking you to be quiet
Characters: Tengen, Sanemi, Rengoku, Obanai, Gyomei, Giyuu,
Additional shit: Swearing, Sanemi fighting said neighbor, Rengoku being blunt, mentions of sex, ooc mot likely :p
Tengen
He couldn't care less
His whole thing is being flashy and loud so he wants you to be loud
Like it's not his fault that dick is magical
After he shoos your neighbor away he makes sure to be as loud as possible that night
He's pounding into your cunt and you swear your gonna break when he whispers "okay now scream exactly how big my dick is. Don't forget the tip color-"
He gets cut off by you hitting him with the pillow
Way to ruin the mood
But that doesn't stop him and instead he goes harder, making sure the bed creaks loud ASF for your neighbor
"Not my fault he doesn't know how to please a woman." Is his main reason for doing so
He really wants you to scream his name so it's imbedded in your neighbors head
"Morning N/N!" Him to your neighbor from the balcony while your trying to get out of bed and failing
"Actually die." Both you and your neighbor to Tengen
Sanemi
Cares alot
Why the fuck is that limp dick biscuit talking to you and him? Who does he think he is?
You were the one who broke the news to him thankfully cause if Sanemi was the one who opened the door then you'd have to see your husband through glass in a prison
Just kidding. The Slayer corp would get him out of trouble if he didn't do it himself.
Anyways
Sanemi made it his goal to piss your neighbor off as much as possible
Your under him, practically creaming on his cock, and he's slamming the wall yelling "This loud enough yet?! Huh!?"
Not kidding I can see him doing that
He quite literally had you against a window where your neighbors could see him destroying you just to make them mad or uncomfortable, hopefully both.
But then he'd get pissed someone else would see you all naked and fucked out so he settled for the wall next to the window
One day your neighbor, finally having enough, bangs on your door yelling and guess who opens it...Sanemi!!
Good Lord was he waiting for this
It took one punch and the guy was out
Kinda what happens when you put a normal dude against a guy who kills demons for a living
Rengoku
He's a good neutral between caring and not caring
Like he doesn't wanna make your neighbors mad but he also loves hearing your screams
So he tries to keep you quiet during sex but fails since he gets to into it to give a fuck
The next days his loud ass voice wakes you up
"IM SORRY FOR MAKING INCREDIBLE LOVE TO MY WIFE!" He's not being sarcastic thats his genuine apology
Your facepalming and you want to die when you see your neighbor and she can't look at you
"PERHAPS SHES MAD BECAUSE HER HUSBAND CANNOT PLEASE HER!" Rengoku says casually and you know she can hear you from outside in her garden
"Inside voices!" You place your hands over his mouth to try and shut him up.
It works for a bit before he's yelling again
You love your husband but holy shit you wish he would speak normally sometimes
He's actually quiet in bed though
So your the problem (real)
Obanai
I'm not an Obanai fan so forgive me for how bad his section will be
Obanai is a quiet mf, and you're not even that loud
It's your neighbor who was the problem
A little old man whose hearing aids apparently had the power of 67 suns
You and Obanai found this out when he was outside training and your neighbor came over
He was so sweet and polite and even chuckled at Obanai's redness
Obanai cared at first but got over it
You? You make sure to not make a PEEP in bed
Okay that pisses Obanai off but he understands your reasons
At least make a gasp or sum cause he's over here like "Wait does this feel good? Can she feel it? Did I forget where the clit is?"
Brother is STRESSING
Then you cum and he's like "ah"
Then he's like "Did you take it?"
You have to keep yourself from murdering him cause how tf would you fake squirting
Gyomei
Babe I'm not gonna lie, you're a screamer
Gyomei is built like a house and your telling me your just gonna whine and whimper?
NO
Your over here crying and screaming into his chest, neck, the pillow, anything.
And Gyomei loves it!
He can't see your reactions so hearing and feeling them let's him know he's doing good
Gyomei isn't loud but he's not quiet
He'll grunt and moan and praise you, but he's not gonna cry out.
Well he'll cry but you can never tell from what
When the pussy so good you start crying 😭🙏
When your neighbor politely asked you to be a tad bit quieter Gyomei actually laughed
Not in a 'nah we'll keep being loud' way but more of a 'sorry we'll be quiet' way. He also found it hilarious how you actually died of embarrassment.
Don't worry he thinks its endearing
Yet it was kinda hard for him since he enjoyed hearing you
But your touches and now quieter moans made that better
And then there's also you literally drawing blood from his back you were scratching so hard
Giyuu
Holy shit you have never seen him so embarrassed
Like you could shade match his Haori to him and get the exact same color
He was the one your neighbor told and he stopped working when 'loud' and 'moaning' left their lips
If a demon doesn't kill him then his own actions will
Giyuu isn't loud, and he loves that he can make you feel so good that your loud for him.
But he didn't want your neighbor back over at your house so he tried to keep you quiet
You were super confused when he held his hand over your mouth in bed and he just pointed to your neighbors house. Then you got it.
So you nod and try to keep quiet.
You know in school when the teacher tells you and a friend to shut up but they look at you funny and you break?
Yeah that was you
You were riding Giyuu one night and you were loud so he was like "holy shit I love you but please- I can't look our neighbor in the eyes anymore."
And you couldn't help but laugh
Like howling
You calmed down obviously but sex was very giggle filled after that
You've never seen Giyuu so panicked
But give him a week and he'll stop caring
#fem reader#x reader#kny#kny x reader#kny x y/n#kny x you#kny headcanons#demon slayer#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer x you#demon slayer x y/n#demon slayer x female reader#tengen uzui#rengoku kyojuro#sanemi shinazugawa#obanai iguro#gyomei himejima#giyuu tomioka#hashira x reader#kny hashira#demon slayer smut#kny smut#freaky#tengen x reader#rengoku x reader#sanemi x reader#obanai x reader#gyomei x reader#giyuu x reader#kny gyomei
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There are a lot of reasons i feel intense resentment (at the very least) towards anti vaxers and anti maskers. There are a lot of things that I quite possibly never do the same way again. Every time I go out or think about going out I’m reminded of this. Every time I go online and see one of those assholes I’m reminded of it. Every time I see some of my own relatives I’m reminded of it. I hate it so much. But there is something different about the feelings I get when I’m reminded of something small I can’t do. I don’t know what it is but it’s almost more sadness than anger, and when my ears hurt because I’ve been wearing a mask all day as I buy groceries and go to appointments, that enrages me. When I’m told I’m being brainwashed or paranoid because I can’t stand the thought of long covid and the fact that I could get even more health problems because those fuckers joined some cult mindset I’m enraged. When I open up the cabinet behind my bathroom mirror and see my black lipstick it’s more sad. I miss the theatrics of wearing dramatic colorful makeup. I miss the drama of having black lipstick and Wes all black. Sure, I can still wear all black (and most often do) and wear dramatic eye makeup, but my favorite thing, the lipstick, isn’t an option anymore. Only some gatherings of people or something where I need to take off my mask would show it, and getting lipstick all over the inside of a mask isn’t very fun tbh. I was never super into makeup and I have never worn it even close to everyday, but I miss when I did.
#emma posts#this post is about my personal experience. its not about how much I care about other people getting stuck in the crossfire#there are plenty of posts about that and i don’t think I have much to say that hasn’t been said before#I’ve seen people get long covid and i don’t want it#I wish they didn’t have it either#if this breaks containment and someone is like ‘covid isn’t all about you’ I’m going to stab something#yeah. no shit it’s not. but I’m making a post about my own experience with this#i hate my country#kinda love my state. but hat my country#the fact that actual government officials spread even more misinformation and encouraged people to follow it is so fucked#antivaxers were seen as crazy a decade ago. now they’re all over the place#I mean. they are crazy. that hasn’t changed#we eliminated smallpox. we had a chance to eradicate a new terrible disease before it became endemic and you fucking stopped it#I knew about pandemics as a highschooler. how are you all so fucking stupid#and don’t say that they are all uneducated. my brother and my aunt have perfectly good educations#and you know the fucking tv people have them too#and don’t turn this into an ‘oh the makeup industry’ post#i have self image issues yes. but I go outside with my face naked all the time. I just like being fun sometimes#you seen a drag queen? I wouldn’t go that hard at it but they fucking get it#it’s why I dye my hair too. when I look in the mirror and see my favorite colors it makes me smile#my body is a canvas#and I decide what goes into this gallery#so more than one canvas? but i only have one body. this analogy doesn’t work but you get it… I hope
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NSFW
warning: teasing, prey and predator play
A/N: this is a kofi request~
As if being mated to a kitsune wasn’t hard enough, he had recently started playing tricks on you almost daily. Before you could handle the occasionally missing sock or jumpscare, but now he was practically bullying you.
When your kitsune wanted something, he always lowered his head and settled his nose on your knee, looking up through his eyelashes. Even though you were getting irritated with his mischievous behavior, you still loved the guy.
“Are you upset with me?” he asked, nosing your knee gently. “I’m just playing around… it’s boring being cooped up in here…”
You sighed, knowing he wasn’t wrong. There had been a sudden blizzard, leaving the two of you trapped in your small cabin by the woods for the time being.
“… I know. It’s just… it gets a bit annoying being nipped at and chased. I know you have a lot of energy, but-“
His attention was suddenly drawn away from the conversation, and he nearly leaped towards the window. There was a bird outside, and now that’s all he could think about.
You huffed, whining at him as he bolted to the window to scratch at it, his orange tail swaying behind him.
“You’re impossible…”
Though some would assume your mate was scatterbrained, he was actually quite clever. The tricks he played on you required him to be cunning and intelligent, and oftentimes you could never guess what he was going to do next.
Sometimes he enjoyed chasing you. He got the zoomies often, nearly bouncing off the walls as he gave chase. It was scary, yet strangely arousing to see him treat you like prey.
“Little bunny~”
He often called you that when he was feeling mischievous. Deciding to get it over with, you rolled your eyes and walked towards the bedroom.
He was completely bare, cock erect and twitching slightly as he nearly purred at the sight of you.
“I’ve missed you…”
“Y-you just saw me- wait, why are you naked!?”
He chuckled, crawling across the comforter, his tail swaying behind him as he reached you at the foot of the bed.
“All these questions… aren’t you pent up? You know, us kitsunes know a lot about the human body…”
He ran a finger down your side, making you shiver. His claw barely scraped your sensitive skin. “Mmm… you know, if I didn’t love you so much I’d just… devour you whole~”
He leaned forward to brush his sharp teeth against your neck. You could feel his cock press against your belly, the tip dripping precum. “… teasing me…”
A smile stretched out across his face, his fingers playing with the waistband of your panties. “Am I? Mmm, I don’t think I am. Maybe you’re just… a sensitive little thing. Most humans are…”
He bit down on your neck, causing you let let out a yelp of pain. His tongue lapped up your blood, his eyes narrowed as he groaned. “God… you make it so difficult, darling. Every woman I’ve ever met has ended up eaten by me… but now I’ve formed a mating bond with you…”
His fox ears twitched as he purred, pulling you into his lap so his tip could rub against your clothed cunt. “Pretty thing, making me so soft for you… oh, how excited I get when I chase you…”
Suddenly, he was pinning you down, letting out a yip as you struggled and squirmed. He loved watching you struggle like a helpless bunny beneath him.
Like prey.
“That’s it…” he murmured, keeping your wrists pinned above you with one hand as the other pulled off your panties.
“Keep struggling…”
He pumped his fingers in and out of you, cooing in a teasing manner as you whined. “Someone is being a needy little thing. You want more, hmm?”
You lip wobbled, and you lifted your hips to press into his hand, desperate for him. “Please…”
He purred at the sight of your desperation, pushing his cock into you without warning. His thrusts were fast and unforgiving, his fluffy orange tail swaying behind him.
You could only whimper and moan, squirming beneath him.
“Isn’t this what you wanted, princess? You wanted to be fucked like the helpless little prey you are, didn’t you? Can’t even talk…”
He pressed kisses into your neck as you came around him, milking his cock. The kitsune quite enjoyed teasing you, but after planting his seed in your belly, he always became incredibly soft.
“Sweet thing…” he murmured, kissing at the bites he left along your neck and shoulders. “You know I’d never eat you, right? You may be sweet, but I prefer to enjoy your taste through… different means…”
To repay all the reading, he dipped his head between your legs to lap up your juices and his cum. It all mixed together, and watching him taste his own cum was pretty hot.
———————
NSFW TAGLIST: @avalordream @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @im-eating-rn @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @yoongiigolden @peachesdabunny @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @i8kaeya @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @keikokashi @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @honey-crypt @karljra @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @binnieonabike @enchantedsylveon @mysticranger575 @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @filthybunny420 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @blubearxy @omglovelylaila @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96-blog @slightlyusedfloormat @bubblez-blop @sunshineangel-reads @heroneki-neko
#kitsune x reader#kitsune x human#kitsune smut#fox hybrid x reader#fox x reader#fox hybrid#monster fucker#monster lover#monster fudger#monster boyfriend#monster fic#chubby!reader#chubby reader#x reader#terato#monster fucking#monster oc#monster bf#teratophillia#terat0philliac#teraphilia#exophelia#fat reader#plus size reader#fem reader#female reader#monster smut#monster boy oc#monster imagine#monster x human
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you're my drug (eric draven x reader)
WARNINGS: 18+, piv sex, oral sex (female receiving), fingering, semi-public sex, sexual imagery, foul language, mentions of drugs/tobacco
summary: after you got caught making out with Eric at rehab, everything suddenly spirals into something much deeper
word count: 5,022 PART 1, PART 2, PART 3
a/n: this is part two of draw you! enjoy!!<3
As I stood in the courtyard, kicking some rocks along during my lap around the premises, I couldn't help but wonder when I would see Eric again. It had been a week since we were caught making out in his room, and I had just gotten out of a two-day solitary confinement— it was definitely a harsher punishment than expected. Then again, I should've known; this place was an absolute shithole.
The worst part of the ordeal was having to write down my feelings and get another check from the warden, along with questions about whether or not I was a nymphomaniac. Excuse me?
Had Eric gotten a harsher repercussion than me? Maybe he had been moved to a different rehabilitation center? I didn't want to think about it. Again, I shouldn't be worrying about a stranger I barely knew. It was a little reckless of me to care for someone who had drawn me naked— now that I wasn't in a state of arousal, it dawned on me how creepy that actually was.
But then again... I had been the one to jump him. That was on me. Had I not offered up, I wouldn't feel so attached to him.
... Maybe I was a nymphomaniac? Fuck.
So when I eventually lost track of where I had kicked my stone, I started looking for new ones. And it was during my hunt for entertainment that I eventually spotted a familiar tall figure entering the courtyard.
Eric's cheeks were more hollow than the last time I had seen him, and I couldn't help the guilt that immediately seeped into my system. He seemed much darker than I remembered, the green in his eyes no longer having that playful shimmer I could spot from far away. However, when he spotted me on his way through the courtyard with a guard by his side, something changed in Eric. The flush in his cheeks returned, his eyes widened, and I could see the faint remnants of the smile that had etched itself into my mind for nights on end. But when he met my gaze, he looked away in a flash-- was he afraid we'd be caught staring at each other again?
I couldn't even control the way I immediately jumped into action as the guards left Eric's side, and I made my way to him with a confident stride. "Well, if it isn't Michelangelo?" I said, approaching with a smile. Seeing him in the flesh again made the tips of my fingers tingle, a certain excitement building in my system. "Where have you been? Did they put you in confinement too?"
But the smile I had seen in him earlier wasn't there anymore-- he turned to me, face blank. Eric blinked twice, watching me as though he didn't know why I was talking to him at all, his nose scrunching up.
My pulse quickened as my anxiety rose; what was happening?
"We shouldn't be talking," Eric eventually mumbled, looking away. His green eyes darted towards the guards on duty, wary of their movements. It didn't take long before he started walking away from me, which in turn left me stunned.
I wondered whether I had said something wrong as I watched him join a few guys that were working out, and I had to take a deep breath to ground myself. Everything about this made me feel like a complete and utter idiot-- I turned away from Eric, rubbing my temples as I made my way back inside. This was giving me a bigger headache than the ones I would get after coming down from a high.
This definitely felt similar to that; the crushing feeling. Having Eric dismiss me like that after what we had done felt more painful than usual, now that I couldn't dull down my feelings with anything.
I walked back into my room, slamming the door shut behind me. Everything about this made my whole body ache, and I couldn't understand why I even cared to this degree.
Had I been so delusional as to think Eric felt something for me too?
Later that night, I didn't care to come out for the last meal. Something told me I'd be staring at Eric again and that he'd dismiss me once more, and I didn't know if I could take it. I hadn't missed drugs as much as now-- everything about this situation reminded me of how I ended up here in the first place.
As I lay in my bed, hoping to fall asleep and wake up a new woman, I was dragged out of my sleepy state when I heard a light shuffling sound coming from my door. I sat up, rubbing my eyes before my gaze slowly darted towards the commotion.
There it was. A note?
I went to pick it up, feeling my heart thump hard in my chest in anticipation. The paper was familiar, like rough velvet to my fingers, and the same size as a page from a notebook. The smile that crept up my lips was impossible to suppress-- I turned the paper to see a new drawing of me, made in the same scratchy style as the previous ones I had seen.
It was an image of me laying in a bed, my eyes hidden in the crook of my arm, lips parted as though I was drawing in a big breath. The pink jumper I was pictured in was a lot bigger than mine; I suspected it was supposed to be Eric's. From the waist down, I was wearing nothing but a black pair of underwear, my legs dangling halfway off the bed.
I sucked in a sharp breath, feeling my chest rise as my heart skipped a beat-- it was beautiful. Completely breathtaking. And in the corner to the upper right, there was a scribbled message with boyish writing that was hard to understand;
messy mornings. let's have those someday? xx
My smile only spread, and I let out a shaky breath of relief as I leaned my forehead against my door, pressing the drawing tightly against my chest. The joy that coursed through my veins reminded me of the same euphoric feeling I'd get from doing a certain type of drug-- I wasn't sure whether it was good for me or not to be feeling these things, but I knew I was addicted already.
Was Eric maybe addicted to me as well? Was the incident in the courtyard just something he did in front of the guards, straying away from trouble?
I couldn't be sure. Nonetheless, I had gotten confirmation that he definitely thought about me too, and that was all I needed.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
I could swear it was the same as getting high-- seeing Eric, I mean. It was especially exhilarating knowing he was right in front of me, but that I couldn't say a word to him.
We were currently in a typical meeting, a group of people sitting in a circle trying to work through why they had started drinking or using. I hated these gatherings the most; I wasn't the biggest fan of airing out my life to strangers.
But today was different. Eric had joined my group, even though his meeting usually took place later in the evening. I felt the air seep out of my lungs the second I spotted him in the door, watching him with eyes wider than expensive plates of china as he sat down on the chair opposite me in the circle, locking his gaze on me.
And there he sat, in a casual manspread as he twiddled his thumbs, waiting his turn. His dark mullet had grown out a little, the hair on his forehead inching closer to his eyes with each week he was here. It was easy to get lost when I stared at him for too long, hypnotized by his tall build and his green, green eyes darting right back at me. The smirk playing across his lips mirrored mine, both of us feeling the tension thicken between us despite knowing our minds should be elsewhere at this moment.
I had gotten so swept up with Eric that I nearly jumped out of my chair when my name was called. My eyes frantically ripped themselves off of him, finding the guidance counselor with a confused look. What question was I supposed to answer?
The counselor cleared her throat; "How are you planning to change your habits once you get out of rehabilitation?"
Oh. I had no idea. Flustered, I ended up shrugging, avoiding Eric's amused gaze. "I think... I might have to work on my impulses. So I guess I will try to make sure I don't give in to bad habits by..." I realized I was completely lost, and it made my cheeks flush. "By doing, uh... Doing breathing exercises?"
My eyes snapped toward the sound that came from the other end of the room-- I watched as Eric clasped a hand over his mouth, head hanging low to hide his blatant amusement. Was that a snort I heard? I had to actively bite back a smile from forming, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip with a force I had never used before.
The counselor cleared her throat, clearly unhappy with the direction this was heading. "Yes, Eric? Do you have anything to say?"
His green eyes darted up from his lap, and it was obvious that he was biting down on the inside of his cheek. Eric crossed his arms over his chest, nodding to himself as though he was thinking. "Well, if you're asking me the same question, I think I plan to surround myself with people I love. I think that's where it went wrong the last time,"
I held my breath-- I hadn't expected him to say that. And I had most certainly not expected Eric's eyes to find me immediately after, realizing his pupils had widened the second they landed on me.
I didn't try to suppress my smile this time. I let it happen, watching as Eric smiled right back with a shimmer in his eyes.
Something told me I was actually going to get something good out of group therapy.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
... It dawned on me a few days later that I didn't have much time left in rehab. It also happened to dawn on me at the exact moment another drawing slipped under my door, right around the time I was ready to go to bed.
It was probably the fifth one this week, and I had laid them out neatly on my nightstand. Every image was as beautiful as the last one-- two of me in bed, one of me out in the courtyard again, and one of me during a group session falling asleep on Eric's shoulder. It warmed my heart to think that he had thought about that imagery when we had sat opposite each other a few days ago. Actually, everything about this warmed my heart.
However, today's drawing caught me off-guard. Today, it was a nude one-- deja vu. My eyes locked on the image of me in what looked like Eric's room, gripping his hair as his head was dipped between my legs. One hand was clasped over my chest, and the other one was digging its fingers into my thigh, holding me down. Everything about it made my heart stop, letting out a laboured breath at the sight.
As always, there was a small message in the upper right corner;
in an alternative universe, there wouldn't be guards outside and there would be no stopping us. can't wait to taste you xx
My hands gripped the paper, almost to the verge of curling it. It felt as though my body was actively on fire, a need ripping its way through my chest. And it was this exact feeling that had me rushing to put the drawing away before bolting out my door, knowing Eric couldn't have gone too far.
Thankfully, I had been right. I spotted Eric further down the hall, towering over the people passing him. It was impossible not to notice the tattoos poking up from under his pink jumper, and something about it made my heart race even faster-- I so desperately wanted to see everything. Feel him beneath the pads of my fingertips.
And I burned. Burned, burned, burned up. And I kept on burning as I sped down the hallway, hearing the loud clacking of my shoes echo through the space along with the thumping of my heart. "Eric!"
Hearing his name, Eric turned around, eyes wide in surprise. "Hey, you," he murmured, brows knitting together as though he was about to scold me. "Thought you were sleeping?"
I finally caught up to him, quickly scanning our surroundings, realizing we were alone.
"... Are you here to return the drawing?" Eric asked, tilting his head to the side as he scanned the look on my face. A nervous smile spread across his lips, and he brought his hand up to scratch the back of his neck as his eyes flickered around the hallway. "Might've been a little much, sure, but you didn't seem to mind it the last time?--"
His words trailed off as the small hand tugging at his jumper caught his attention. Eric's eyes rounded out, immediately understanding what I was getting at. When he leaned down, I let out a shaky breath before I flung my arms around his neck, capturing his lips in a sweet kiss.
I had hoped it would satiate the burn ravaging my body, but it didn't. As Eric's big arms wrapped around me, pulling me flush against him, the fire only spread. My hands barely had time to go up into his hair, tugging softly at his dark locks, before he pulled away with an airy chuckle. "You'll get us in trouble again,"
That's true-- "Fuck," was the only thing I managed to say.
Humming, Eric glanced down the hall before pulling my hand into his, intertwining our fingers as he led me away. I was glad it was almost time for bed, seeing as there were barely any people out in the hallway and the guards were relaxing outside on their cigarette break. A familiar dulling of my brain seeped into my system as I remembered the smell of their cigarettes gliding into my room from outside-- I missed nicotine. But Eric was better than any cigarettes. Better than anything I had ever taken before. No high could match the one I would get from locking eyes with him, getting a drawing under my door, or the feeling currently coursing through my veins as he led me into a desolate stairwell. "This will do for now," he muttered, giving my hand a gentle squeeze before letting go. "I'll make sure to bring you somewhere nice when we're both out of here."
As my back hit the wall, I couldn't suppress my growing smirk as Eric neared me. The last time we had stood like this, had been right before he left my room after we made out. Seeing how tall he was, casting a shadow as he towered over me, I let out a sigh of joy; I had missed this. I had missed him. There was nothing that could make me happier than being alone with him. "I'm getting out of here soon, actually,"
Eric hummed as he placed his hand against the wall next to my head, his green eyes locking with mine. I wasn't too afraid to show my burning state-- he watched my lips part as I stared up at him, and I watched his jaw clench as he tried to digest the look in my eyes.
Sex. I was giving him those bedroom eyes that always worked on every guy I had ever been with. My eyes got all glassy, my thick lashes hanging low. I was quite sure I would let him fuck me right here if he wanted to-- I was past the point of caring who caught us.
"Soon, you say? How soon?" Eric asked, leaning down to press two separate kisses against the corners of my mouth.
I had to control the way my breath hitched before I answered; "A week and a half,"
Nodding, Eric's fingers brushed against my lips, pressing into the skin as he watched my expression with a heated one of his own. His thumb dipped past my lips, brushing against the tip of my tongue. "I'm out in three,"
I smiled before wrapping my mouth softly around his thumb, watching a breath escape him as his green eyes locked on the sight. Eric leaned down to kiss my cheek, watching as they flushed when he pulled his finger out of my mouth. "Where can I find you when we're out?"
"You seriously think I would leave this place without giving you my address?"
"Okay, good," Eric chuckled, his eyes rounding out with a newfound softness. "Because I think I'll need you out there more than I need you now."
What? I swallowed, biting down on my lower lip. Did he reciprocate the way I was feeling these things? I wondered whether he also felt the pit of fire in his stomach, whether he couldn't breathe whenever I wasn't around, and whether thoughts of me also wreaked havoc through his mind in every waking moment.
Eric's eyes lowered, taking in my stunned silence. "Honestly, I thought this was purely a lust thing, but... I've come to realize it's not just that. The one thing rehab has taught me, is that I need to break my habits, so here I am. Not running,"
I hadn't smiled this brightly in years. "Eric?"
A hum.
"I feel the same way," I reached out for his face, glad he had bent down a little to make it possible. "I'm quite sure I've gone mad, but standing with you here feels better than any drugs I've ever taken. And quite frankly, that drawing... Fuck, that was quite something." A breathy giggle escaped me, watching as Eric met my gaze with a smirk playing across his plush, pink lips. "That shit was hot. You're so fucking talented, do you know that?"
Eric freed his lower lip from his teeth, inching closer to gently nudge his nose against me. "Nope, I definitely don't know that. Completely oblivious. Which is why I need you around to tell me that, once in a while,"
"I'll tell you every day, if you want," I closed my eyes, relishing in the feeling of our closeness.
"Good," Eric whispered against my lips, his hands now grabbing at my waist, pressing himself closer to me. "And I'll eat you out every day. Deal?"
I was quite sure I was going to faint. Remember the drawing, I couldn't wait for our time to come. "Sounds like better therapy than anything they've done for me here,"
"Definitely,"
I smiled, giving his dark hair a tug, pulling Eric against me to connect our lips in a passionate kiss.
How we had gone from staring at each other to this, I had no idea. How it became this enormous feeling burning through my body, I couldn't guess the answer. But the one thing I knew, was that it felt right-- being with Eric like this felt right. Correct. Perfect.
As our kisses grew with hunger, resembling that one evening on Eric's bed, my body began to grow flushed as his hands dipped beneath my pink jumper, traveling up my torso with a fiery need to be close. "Can I take this off?" he asked, pulling away, panting just slightly.
I nodded, unable to wipe the grin off my face as my sweater got discarded somewhere on the floor, licking my lips out of pure habit. Eric was quick to dip his head forward, swiping his own tongue along mine. My back arched off the wall in surprise, the movement against his body earning me a small groan. This was how I realized he was hard-- I had to suppress another hitch of my breath.
"Shit, I want to take it all off," Eric whispered against my lips. "Everything. Feel all of you." He pressed his lips against my chin, moving his way down my throat and to my neck. I could feel the cool air hitting my back as he lifted my shirt off as well-- my nipples hardened at his attention, his hands gripping my breasts through my bra, squeezing them.
I whimpered against his touch, writhing in anticipation. I had no idea what he had planned for me, if we were going to go all the way or not; I could already feel my excitement pool between my legs, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The arousal had been in my system since the second I saw today's drawing, and I let it out by tugging at his dark hair once more, hoping for him to come back up. "Eric, kiss me-- Wanna feel you too,"
I watched Eric's eyes light up as he pulled away and met mine. And he complied, capturing my lips in a needy kiss, his big hands gripping at my hips and digging into my skin through my trousers. Realizing I was the only one with my shirt off, my hands dipped under his, hoping he'd get the memo as I tugged at the hem of his pink sweater.
Eric's lips barely left mine as he discarded his sweater elsewhere, satisfaction coursing through my veins as our chests pressed up against each other, our hearts beating at the other through our skin. I had desperately wanted to see his tattoos, drink in the sight of the art scattered across his body, but it hit me that we didn't have time-- we didn't know when we'd be caught. I figured I'd leave it to the time we'd be out of rehab, when we'd have time for messy mornings every day, and when we had time to be buried in each other completely.
"I don't know if I can wait three weeks," I breathed in between hungry kisses, my hands running up and down his toned torso.
Eric hummed against my lips; "Me neither,"
And with that, it didn't take long before his slender fingers dipped down into my underwear, making my breath hitch at the realization of what was happening. "Been dreaming about this for weeks," Eric whispered, one of his hands disappearing in my hair to hold me in place, making sure my eyes met his as he rubbed tight circles around my clit. "You're all I ever think about."
My mouth was open against his, small gasps escaping past my lips, bucking into his hand as he sped up his movements around my clit. "I'm so crazy about you," I whimpered, watching the green of his eyes swallow me whole with adoration and lust. My mind still hadn't completely registered that this was happening, especially not under the blue lights of the stairwell. "You're better than drugs, I swear."
Eric chuckled against my lips, watching me moan against him as he patted the pad of his finger against the slick of my core. "Better than drugs, you say?"
"Much better," My words were barely coming out properly, and any continuation of that sentence was stopped the second Eric pressed a finger into me. My breath hitched-- fuck.
He hummed, a sweet smile splayed across his lips; "You're my drug,"
It was almost too much-- I bucked against his hand once more, squirming in his grip as the flame spread through my body. I really couldn't remember the last time I had been this happy or aroused. I let out a breathy moan as he pumped his finger into me, the squelching sound of my wetness drawing forth a blush in my cheeks.
"I'd take my time with you," Eric whispered, capturing my lips in a short kiss before continuing; "But we don't have a lot of time. Forgive me if we make this quick."
I could barely nod, squeezing my eyes shut as I felt his thumb back against my clit, his middle finger curling inside of me. It was obvious that he had done this before.
My mind was already mush by the time Eric slid his finger out of me, turning me around and peppering my shoulder with wet kisses. It didn't take long before he leaned down to tug my pants down to my knees, fingers eager. I wasn't sure how to explain the burning need that was currently clawing at me, but I knew it was all-consuming. Eric had consumed me-- I knew I was his and only his.
So when I felt his big, strong hands grip my hips, pushing me towards him to allow for an easier entrance, I could only moan out in complete and utter satisfaction as I felt his cock sink into me. Eric let out a breathy grunt, now snaking both hands around my body, burying himself to the hilt with the slowest stroke known to man. "Fuck," was all he managed to say, hissing slightly against my shoulder before sucking down on a spot, wanting to leave behind a mark.
I couldn't believe the strange places my mind went to-- why was I contemplating getting that hickey tattooed? I wouldn't need it anyway, if Eric kept his promise and stayed with me after we both got out. There was nothing I wanted more in the whole wide world.
All my concerns flew out the window as Eric gripped my waist for leverage as he continued to thrust into me, leaving me with my mouth open against the wall. My body was aching with pleasure unmatched anything I had ever felt before, and I knew that the difference between this time and all my other escapades was how much I had craved Eric-- and how much I knew he craved me.
My breath hitched as he nipped at my jaw, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. "Wanted this... so, so long..." Eric let out a grunt as his hands went down to my hips again, pulling away from my neck to watch his cock pump into my dripping core. I was quite sure it was glistening with my slick by the sounds of it. "Wanted this-- Wanted you."
"Me too," I cried, resting my hands against the wall, meeting his thrusts. "Every night, all the time..."
"All the time," he echoed. "Forever."
My breath hitched at both his words and the way one of his hands left my hip, ghosting over my stomach. I knew exactly where it was heading, and I had to bite back a rather loud moan as Eric dipped his hand down between my legs. Eric spread his fingers, covering my whole cunt, feeling the sides of his own cock rut into me. It didn't take long before his whole hand was practically covered in my slick, and I was quite sure I heard a drop hit the floor. Everything about it made me shiver.
Like this, I was practically pushed to rut against the palm of his hand, the pressure against my clit making me gasp-- I knew I wouldn't last long like this. Perfect.
By the sounds of it, Eric wouldn't either. He let a breathy moan escape his lips before he let go of my hips, reaching up to grab my chin, tilting it to the side so that he could kiss me. I let out a soft cry against his lips, feeling my walls clamp down around his thick cock. Feeling beyond full, I reached around to grab his dark hair, feeling his locks between my fingers as a familiar tightening in my stomach appeared.
"You're the only one I've ever wanted this badly," Eric murmured against my lips, his thrusts becoming rushed and erratic, clearly holding back his high. "Be mine-- Fuck, be mine?"
If I hadn't been this close to my high, I would've cried. "All yours, Eric, all yours... A-Aah!--" My walls clamped around him as I was driven against the palm of his hand once more, driving me over the edge, coming harder than I probably ever had before.
Eric took this as a green light-- It didn't take long before he let out a grunt against my shoulder, gently biting down as ropes of cum decorated my walls, his thick cock twitching with its release inside of me.
Our pants filled the stairway, and I was quite sure my legs would give out as he pulled out of me with a wet pop, tucking himself back into his trousers. I could only smile, leaning against the wall as I let out a sigh of relief. I was so incredibly glad we managed to do all of this before getting caught-- I was sure I wouldn't have been able to wait until we were both out. The burning in my body subsided, the ache turning into an all-consuming feeling of joy.
I turned to Eric with a soft smile spread across my lips, trying to steady my breathing. He was especially beautiful now-- kiss-swollen lips really suited him.
He returned my smile, leaning forward to capture my lips in a soft, gentle kiss. My hands reached out for him, cupping his face as my thumbs caressed his cheeks. It was such an exhilarating feeling to be adored like this, and I wasn't sure I would ever experience it until now. Meeting Eric felt like seeing a lunar rainbow-- exceptionally rare.
However, Eric's sweet smile suddenly turned back into his usual mischievous smirk. Before I could even say a word, he had dropped down to his knees, leaning forward to wrap his lips around my aching sex, covering my whole mound as he sucked at me.
I could barely breathe as I realized what he was doing-- was he sucking his own cum out of me? This was new. And weirdly pleasurable. I let out a wanton moan, gripping his hair in the exact same way I did in Eric's drawing. I could only whimper as his tongue darted out, drawing a circle around my overstimulated clit-- instinctively, my hips bucked against his mouth. Something about this felt weirdly full-circle. "Eric, wait!-- Shit,"
He hummed, looking up at me with those green eyes I loved so much. "Will you kill me if I draw this?"
I could only sigh-- bliss.
(a/n: PART 1, PART 3 linked here!! enjoy<33)
#the crow 2024#eric draven x reader#the crow x reader#the crow fanfiction#eric draven fanfiction#the crow#oneshot#fanfic#fanfiction#smut#bill skarsgård#bill skarsgård x reader#bill skarsgard#eric draven
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do you believe me now? | 4
in which spencer reid and inexperienced fem!reader are interrupted at the most inopportune of times. he calls you on the first night of his case. dirty talk turns into a hard conversation. we get a glimpse into spencer's past, and we finally learn why he's so hesitant to sleep with you.
series masterlist
18+ (smut) warnings/tags: dirty talk, phone sex/mutual masturbation, softdom!spence, obligatory he talks u through it, lots of graphic discussions of sex, established relationship, angst (sorrryyy!) a/n: so remember how i said you'd need the bonus chapter to fully appreciate/understand this part? i was wrong!! it will come in handy probably in the next part tho:) also idk how these parts keep getting so long im sorry! anyway, i love you all so bad. thank you for bearing w/ my craziness. PLEASE let me know your thoughts on this part!! i adore hearing from you!! kisses
(also special thank you to @fliesforeyes who convinced me phone sex w/ spence could be done!! i will link his phone sex blurb here :)) thank u binx!!
“Three million six hundred eighty four thousand three hundred thirty two times fourteen million seven hundred sixty one thousand nine hundred seventy one.”
You’ve lost count of how many stupid math questions you’ve asked your human calculator boyfriend, just to see if he can actually do them. Spencer is silent for a second, and you think you’ve finally stumped him.
“That one is complicated.”
You sit bolt upright in his bed, looking down at him and pointing an accusatory finger. His brows raise at the manic look in your eye.
“You don’t know.”
“I do know. I meant it would be hard to explain if you aren’t a math person.”
“Bullshit!” You scoff, “you don’t know!”
“It would display on a calculator as five-point-three-eight-eight-E-thirteen. It’s a really big number.”
“Oh, really big, huh?” you mumble, searching for your phone blindly in the sheets and scrambling to open the calculator app. “Um… what numbers did I say?”
Spencer repeats them back to you and you press the equals sign.
You look at it.
And then you set your phone down.
“I was right, huh?” he smiles up at you, probably reveling in your pouty wrongness.
Too proud to admit it, you collapse on top of him, burying your face in his shoulder.
“I don’t like this game anymore. What the fuck even is an e? Why are we doing algebra?”
Spencer laughs, brushing your hair aside.
“The e stands for exponent. It’s to the power of ten.”
“Ever heard of a rhetorical question?”
“Yes, I have.”
It’s hard not to snort even at his dumbest jokes.
“You’re annoying. Let’s do something else.”
You roll over onto your back again, letting your head flop over to look at Spencer, whose hair is exactly the right amount of messy after a long day, falling in impossibly soft waves over the perfect lines and contours of his face. Despite lounging, he’s still in his suit from work—he’d left Quantico and immediately picked you up. There were no solid plans for the evening, so after both of you pretended that you wanted to go out for a while, you ended up back at his apartment.
He looks good. Almost too good.
“Something like what?” he smiles lazily, reaching over and tracing his fingers over your cheek.
“Something… naked?”
His grin widens and he shakes his head.
“Me naked or you naked?”
Pretending to think about it, you roll your bottom lip between your teeth.
“Mm… why not both?”
“Hm. Why do I feel like I know where this is going?”
The mattress sinks underneath your elbow as you prop yourself up, dropping your head over Spencer’s to kiss him.
“Because you’re so smart, and you think it’s a great idea.”
He entertains your kiss for a moment. Just a moment.
“You sound sure of yourself.”
“Because I am!” You finally give in to your impulses, tangling your fingers in his hair and looking at him meaningfully. “It doesn’t make any sense for us to have not had sex. I don’t care about any of your weird, cryptic moral reasoning.”
He grabs your wrist carefully.
“It is not moral,” he scoffs. “We haven’t even talked about it yet.”
“Really? Because I feel like we’ve talked about it a lot.”
He begins to reply, but you realize you don’t want to get into a debate over whether you’ve technically talked about it yet. “I don’t even care! If that’s all that’s standing in your way, then let’s talk about it. Right now.”
Spencer sighs, his eyes darting between yours as he reaches up to cradle your cheek.
“Fine. But I have things to say you’re not going to like.”
“So business as usual?”
He rolls his eyes. You allow yourself a tiny self-satisfied smirk, forever relishing in his poorly-hidden soft spot for your constant teasing. Spencer ignores this. Which is probably for the best.
“I know you probably won’t see it this way, but—sex is different than everything else we’ve done so far. It can be really fun, obviously it feels good, it facilitates deeper feelings of connection—that’s all true. Which is why, in my opinion, it’s incredibly important that you be selective with who you sleep with. Because it’s so easy to do something you regret, and sex is vulnerable. It should always be with someone you trust and—and… care about.”
A pink flush stains his cheeks like watercolor as he stumbles over the last few words. It makes your heart flutter against the confines of your chest.
Maybe best not to think about the absence versus presence of certain four-letter words and what they may or may not mean. You’ll move on to more pressing matters and pretend like it doesn’t ache just a little in your whole body.
You cover his hand with your own.
“Are you going to break up with me anytime soon?”
Spencer’s eyes widen, filling with genuine horror and confusion.
“What? No!”
“Are you going to cheat on me?”
“Absolutely not, I—��
“Then I’m not going to regret it. Issue resolved. Moving on.”
“Honey, I just want you to be 100% sure that I’m what you want.”
“Oh my god,” you groan, flopping onto your back once more. “I have begged you to sleep with me on multiple occasions. We have been dating for months and I liked you even longer before that. I think about it literally every time I see you. I don’t know how to be any surer.”
It’s quiet for a moment as you study the imaginary pattern on the ceiling. The rebuttal you’d been anticipating doesn’t come—instead, the mattress shifts next to you. Spencer enters your field of vision, now leaning over you with a little smile on his face that gives you butterflies.
“Every time?”
“…yes, every time,” you agree, voice considerably thinner than it had been a moment ago. Spencer glances at your lips as he speaks.
“Interesting. And what is it that you think about exactly?”
You groan again, attempting to roll facedown, but he pins your shoulder to the bed. The way he’s sweetly kissing down your cheek and jaw is infuriating because you know it’s a false pretense.
“Ugh, I don’t know! Don’t make me answer that!”
“You said if talking about it was all that was standing in my way, we would talk about it. Now I want to talk about it. Come on,” he says, voice low and cloying against your throat as he attempts to tease the answer out of you. “Tell me what you think about when you think about us having sex.”
You let out a shaky breath at the feeling of his lips skimming your neck, hating how easily he can reduce you to this.
“I… I always wonder what it will feel like. Sometimes I wonder if it will hurt.”
Spencer sighs, interrogation by way of seduction momentarily forgotten. You silently curse yourself for saying something so un-sexy.
“It might, sweetheart. That’s one of the reasons we’ve held back. I… really don’t want to hurt you. I don’t even know if I can.”
You grab his face in both hands, forcing him to look at you with more confidence than you feel.
“Sometimes I worry about it, too. But I like you a lot more than it scares me. I still want to.”
He kisses your palm.
“You’ll be okay. It doesn’t hurt for everyone, and even if it does, you’re resilient.”
“Exactly. So you have to get over yourself.”
Spencer laughs like he wasn’t expecting to, eyes sparkling as he regards you.
“Yeah. Yeah, maybe I do.”
He’s smiling again as he leans down and kisses you—a slow, lingering thing which tastes like spearmint as you part your lips for him.
“Please?” you whisper against him after a long moment. He hums, keeps kissing you.
“What is it that you think you want? You don’t even know what you’re asking for.”
“Tell me,” you beg, chasing his lips. “Tell me what you’re going to do with me. We can talk about it. This is talking about it.”
Spencer exhales deeply, wedging a thigh between yours. Immediately you clamp around it, trying not to grind against him too overtly.
“You want to know what I’d do to you?”
“Yes—” you paw at his jacket. Surprisingly, he doesn’t stop you from pushing it off. Your heart pounds.
“Well… we both know how anxious you get,” he muses, pressing his lips so delicately to your fluttering pulse-point in emphasis, and then back to your mouth. His thigh pushes harder against you to supplant the absence of his lips as he speaks, though he kisses you sporadically and between sentences. “You’re hard to get out of your head when you’re nervous, you know that? I watch it happen. One minute you’re with me, and then you start overthinking, and getting self-conscious. The only thing that seems to relax you is letting me touch you—so first I would touch you like I’ve touched you before. I’d make sure you know how pretty you are and how good you deserve to feel.” You whimper inadvertently at his words, arching into him and grinding against his leg as he pauses to kiss the sensitive soft spot below your jaw. “You’re going to need to be really ready to let me in. Do you know what I mean by that?”
As he asks, he pushes his thigh against you harder. Your body responds immediately, arching into him and seeking more friction. When you squeak, he takes it as a no.
“I mean I need you relaxed and wet. You’ll excuse my crude language.”
You pull at his tie, breathing heavier now and so turned on it’s almost painful.
“What are you gonna do after that?”
“What else is there to do but fuck you after that?” he breathes. “You want me to tell you how I’d fuck you?”
Something about it makes you whine salaciously. You’ve heard him curse—you’ve even heard him talk about fucking you. But it feels more real now; when it’s low in your ear and you’re covertly undressing him and he’s pushing your shirt over your stomach promisingly.
“Yes, please.”
He hums against your jaw, nipping and brushing his lips over the skin as he considers. Leaves you waiting.
“I would have to take my time with you. You’ll be overwhelmed. I know you think you won’t, but you will. I’m going to have to be so, so careful with you, angel. It’s going to drive me insane. But it will feel good for you.”
“Why careful? I don’t want that.”
He chuckles. A chill runs down your spine.
“Yeah, you do. You’re going to want me to be careful when I’m—” he pauses, pressing his thumb to your bare lower tummy and dragging up to a spot below your belly button. He presses down lightly again. “Right here. Approximately.”
The surface of the sun has nothing on the temperature of your skin in this moment, as you writhe underneath him in both arousal and embarrassment. Mostly, burning need. You feel almost sick with it.
“Please don’t make me wait anymore. Just do it, please, Spencer. I need it to be you, I don’t want it to be anyone else. I promise I’m ready.”
It’s silent for a moment. Your heart quickens. You sense his walls wearing away, his instinct to keep you intact for god knows what reason crumbling. He’s finally going to give you what you’ve been begging for.
Spencer opens his mouth, eyes glimmering—
And then his phone rings.
You both freeze—he melts dejectedly before you do, more accustomed to an ill-timed phone call and realizing the finality it can present.
He’s breathing heavily against your neck, as if maybe whoever it is will just hang up. But the phone keeps ringing.
“I’m sorry.”
Your stomach sinks as he sits up, grabbing his phone from the side table and rubbing circles on your inner thigh as he answers.
“This is Reid,” he says, lackluster.
If you wanted, you could hear what Penelope is saying—but you don’t bother listening. It’s going to be a case. Spencer is about to leave. The details are his problem.
“Okay. I’ll be there in an hour.”
He hangs up, tossing the phone onto the mattress and not speaking for a moment, just continuing to rub your leg apologetically. Watching you almost mournfully—taking in your disheveled hair, your likely blown-out pupils, the shirt pushed almost over your chest.
“I have to go right now,” he finally manages with a heavy sigh, gently pulling your shirt back into place.
You sit up, shedding all the hopes that had been building for the evening, and try to sound chipper—though all you feel is bitter disappointment that goes deeper than you understand.
“I know. Go ahead, I can get a cab home.”
He frowns, running his hand over the back of your hair.
“I don’t love the idea of you standing on the sidewalk waiting for a car in this part of town so late. Do you just want to stay here for the night and go home tomorrow?”
You force a smile. Great. So you’ll be spending the night in his bed after all—just without him.
“Sure. Thanks.”
“Yeah.”
Neither of you are feeling particularly grateful.
Soon you’re walking him to his own door. Both of you come to a stop in front.
“I’m sorry,” he sighs again.
“Spencer, it’s fine. It’s your job. You don’t need to apologize. You were very clear about this part when we started dating.”
“I know, but… it’s easier in theory than in practice.”
You smile. If Spencer is a reflection of you, it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. His hair is still messy from your fingers running through it and he’s missing his tie. You hope all his coworkers see and feel bad about taking him away from you.
But it’s not their fault. You just want someone to blame.
Instead you mould yourself to his body, wrapping around him like you belong there. He returns your embrace, pressing his lips into the crook of your shoulder and rubbing your back in that way he always does with you.
In that moment, your affection for him becomes so profound it’s like a chemical reaction—everywhere he touches burns and you love him so fucking much it aches in every inch of your body the way your muscles do when you have a bad fever. Love is the most terrible of afflictions, you realize. It is a fever dream. It’s every fiber of your being screaming to tell him how you feel, to beg him on your knees not to go because you love him like a child loves a parent or a bee loves honeysuckle or the ocean loves the horizon. Pared down to your most basic components, the barest version of yourself, you require him. Your soul needs his soul.
“Spencer?”
“Hm?”
It’s nothing more than an absentminded hum against your skin.
“I…”
Should you be looking him in the eye when you say this? Should you say it right before he has to leave? Just because you say it doesn’t change the fact that he’s about to be gone for several long days. Maybe this is a terrible time to admit something that suddenly feels so true and so consequential.
He senses your internal conflict, pulling back despite your resistance and holding your face between his hands.
“You what?” He murmurs, soft eyes bouncing back and forth between your own. Fuck—you feel so observed, now. Like he can read your mind.
“I forget.”
FUUUUUUCK.
Spencer blinks. Processes. You watch the disbelief crystallizing over his eyes like ice freezing over a lake.
He knows.
He knows you didn’t forget, and he probably knows what you were going to say, and he’s going to tell himself he was wrong to spare your dignity.
Everything hurts when he kisses you. You wonder what regret tastes like.
“Well, let me know if you remember.”
It’s too gentle and at the same time he can’t hide the edge with all the tenderness in the world. You nod as if in a trance, already looking forward to dissociating as you lie in bed and stare at the dark ceiling.
Two small goodbyes are exchanged, slightly stifled now, as if shared between drunk strangers who have sobered up and are mutually embarrassed about how candidly they’d interacted before.
You close the door behind him, doing up all the locks, and meticulously flick every light switch in the apartment off before climbing into his bed—though you don’t really feel like you deserve to be there anymore.
But perhaps this is all an overreaction. It’s not like you owe it to him to say I love you, or anything—it was bad timing, anyway. And why can’t he say it? In fact, why hasn’t he said it?
Maybe you have it all wrong.
Maybe he doesn’t feel that way about you.
You fall asleep before you allow these questions to make you sick.
24 hours go by.
24 hours go by and you really had meant to leave his apartment—it was just that you woke up late, and your phone was dead so you couldn’t call a car, so you charged it while you made breakfast, and then you ate, and then you decided to take a shower and wash your clothes, and then it was two in the afternoon and you hadn’t left yet and you decided to walk to the store and replenish the groceries you’d used up.
Maybe you got a bit distracted looking at flowers and other beautiful things at the market and by the time you got home it was 5:00, so you decided to wait until seven to skip rush hour. And then eight, just to be sure.
Before you know it, it’s midnight, and you’re dozing off in his bed again (teeth cleaned with the brush you’d bought at the store—maybe this whole situation hadn’t been entirely unwitting on your part.)
Throughout the day, you tried to let all your anxiety about the previous night melt away. If it’s something that needs to be addressed, Spencer will address it. Everything will work out in the end. That thought is how you’re able to doze off.
You’re almost asleep when your phone lights up and begins buzzing on the side table. You wince as your eyes open, not adjusting well to the harsh bright display and unable to discern who’s even calling you at this hour. Stupidly, probably because you’re half asleep, you answer without checking.
“Hello?”
Your voice is groggy, quiet with sleep.
“Shit, did I wake you?”
“Spence?” you whisper, stomach flipping at the sound of his voice on the other line. You feel caught, still sleeping in his bed.
“… yeah,” he chuckles. “Did you not check who was calling before you picked up?”
“I was asleep,” you pout. “Kinda.”
“Okay. Go back to sleep, honey. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
You sit bolt upright, phone balanced between tense fingers and speaking directly into the microphone.
“No! No, I’m awake. What’s up? Why did you call?”
A longer stretch of silence—you’re too sleepy to comprehend what it might mean, though never too sleepy to worry about it. With a pang of pain, you recall your strange goodbye, the words you hadn’t said.
“I just needed to hear your voice,” he sighs. You frown, staring at nothing in particular in the pitch black room.
“Oh. Is everything okay?”
“As much as it can be.”
“Right.”
More quiet. You chew on the inside of your cheek, stricken with a sudden feeling of awkwardness that you haven’t had with Spencer in a while.
“I’m sorry… I don’t really know what to say.”
“That’s okay,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice which makes you feel a bit better, “why don’t you tell me about your day? Or you can absolutely go back to sleep, if you’re too tired.”
“Don’t ask me about my day,” you whisper, flopping down on the bed once more. Shame seeps into your voice. He laughs.
“What? Why?”
“Because if I tell you you’re going to think I’m super weird and you’re going to break up with me.”
Laughter tapers off into gentler tones.
“I already think you’re super weird. It’s actually one of your most attractive qualities.”
Blood rushes to your cheeks.
“But it’s like… borderline crazy.”
Immediately, he replies, “for better or worse, I also frequently find myself attracted to crazy.”
“Thank you for calling me crazy and super weird,” you grumble.
“I also called you attractive twice. Tell me.”
When his tone takes on that easy, assertive quality, and it’s sort of raspy and low because it’s late and he’s been talking all day, and you can hear the lazy smile on his face—you imagine him laying on his hotel bed, arm slung over his eyes in the dark as he grins into the microphone—you have a very difficult time saying no.
“Fine. Guess where I am right now.”
“Um, I would hope you’re in bed?”
You smile to yourself, basking in the victory of successfully throwing him off his game even slightly.
“Guess whose bed.”
Silence.
“What an interesting question.” That cocky smile, the low drawling is back, and you chew on your lip, ignoring the shiver that runs down your spine. “If it’s not mine or yours, we’re going to have issues.”
“But if it is yours? You’re not going to call the police on me?”
“Why would I call the police? To tell them there’s a pretty girl in my bed and I don’t want her there?”
“To tell them your psychopathic girlfriend broke into your apartment and might be holding hostages there.”
Spencer laughs; a brittle, drawn out thing, flat and quiet as the desert.
“If you were a psychopath, calling the cops would be a waste of time. I would handle you myself.” The idea of being handled has your thighs clenching. “But—yeah, don’t invite anyone else in.” More humor finds its way into his voice, momentarily relieving some tension that had sneakily begun to build. “Having people in my space makes me anxious.”
“But not me?” Your whisper is half flirtatious, half insecure. Spencer’s reply is soft, as if he’s picking up on this from hundreds of miles away.
“No, not you. You are always the exception.”
“Good,” you say, cheeks aching as you half-bury your warm face into his pillow. “Because I made myself really comfortable. You have a nice shower, by the way.”
Spencer groans.
“You’re killing me.”
“What? What did I do!”
“Don’t talk to me about my bed and my shower. I might start to think you’re intentionally being a brat.”
“You asked me about my day! I’m just telling you what I did!”
But you’re also intentional teasing him for sure. After a pause, he sighs in defeat.
“You’re right. I did do that. Tell me what else happened.”
“Well,” you begin, all too eager, “I had to put my clothes in the dryer after I got out, so I borrowed some of yours. But then they were way comfier than mine, so after I went to the store I put them back on, and—”
“Okay.”
“Okay what?” you frown.
“Tell me what this is.”
“I—I don’t know what you mean.”
Lying to a profiler is usually pointless.
“I’m not stupid, sweetheart. Tell me why you keep talking about my shower and my bed and my clothes.”
Caught red-handed. Your skin heats up.
“I don’t know. I miss you.”
He hums in a way that blurs the line between sympathetic and patronizing. Even through the phone you can feel the bass of it in your bones. It changes the frequency you’re vibrating at. It’s hypnotic.
“But that’s not really why you’re being intentionally provocative, is it?”
“No,” you admit quietly. “I’m still upset you had to go last night.”
“So you’re frustrated and you’re taking it out on me?”
Your brow furrows. Well, when he puts it like that…
“I’m not taking anything out on you.”
“I think you are. And I don’t appreciate that, because I’m on your side, honey. Do you think I prefer being in a hotel bed by myself or being in my bed with you?”
Somehow, he makes you feel like a scolded child. But he makes it appealing in ways you don’t understand.
“Your bed with me,” you murmur, skin prickling with the coldness of his absence even as you curl under the blanket.
“Right. So why don’t you tell me what I can do for you right now, instead of punishing me for things that are beyond my control?”
“I wasn’t punishing you,” you mutter.
“No? You weren’t intentionally talking about using my shower and sleeping in my bed and putting on my clothes so that I’d have to think about what I can’t have right now?”
“I—”
“Believe me when I tell you I have been thinking about what I can’t have, all day. Your efforts are entirely redundant and you can’t say anything about yourself that is even close to as dirty as the frankly disrespectful thoughts I’ve been having about you for seventeen hours.”
The lack of air is making you so dizzy your vision goes gray at the edges.
“What… what thoughts?”
“None that you need to concern yourself with.”
“You can’t just say something like that and then not tell me!” you insist. He’s obviously giving you a taste of your own medicine and it’s fair but it doesn’t mean you have to like it.
“I can do whatever I want,” Spencer corrects cooly in a way that pisses you off beyond belief because he’s right. It triggers some adolescent immaturity within you—a desire to get back at him, so to speak. He wants intentionally provocative? He can have it.
“Fine. Then so can I. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it even if I could.”
“Spencer,” you warn. “If you don’t tell me what you were thinking I’m gonna—” you look around the room for ammo. “I’m gonna look through your nightstand!”
“Go ahead. I’ll warn you, it’s not very interesting.”
“Sounds like what someone who has something hide would say,” you mumble, crawling across the mattress through tangled sheets and using your phone flashlight to open the drawer.
Spencer is patient and silent as you take in its contents—a small blue leather-bound notebook (full of what looks like Russian), a fountain pen, a glasses case, various kinds of vitamins, and—
“Spencer Reid,” you say, dragging out his name and pretending nothing is fluttering in your stomach, “what are these?”
“I don’t know. I can’t see what you’re referring to.”
“Take a wild guess.”
“Oh, I have one. But I’d like to hear you say it.”
You realize you may have gotten yourself in deeper than you meant to by going through his stuff. Well—they don’t say karma is a bitch for nothing.
“What are you doing with a box of condoms?”
He chuckles and you feel it in your whole body, warm as you stretch across his mattress and eye the box like it might jump out at you.
“Those are years old. I’ve used three since I bought them.”
“Don’t tell me that,” you whine. “I don’t wanna think about all the other women you’ve seduced.”
“You wanted them to be for you, huh?”
You flush. Honestly you hadn’t even thought about that.
“I… I don’t know. I kind of just assumed…”
It’s silent for a second and you frown, realizing you hadn’t even considered protection when you’d imagined sleeping with him before.
“You assumed what, honey?” he asks, voice soft.
“It’s dumb. I can’t tell you.”
“You can tell me anything. I’m not going to think it’s dumb, I promise.”
You chew on your lip, letting your eyes unfocus on the box as you muster the courage to be honest.
“Whenever I imagined it… we didn’t… use anything.”
The words make you cringe even as you’re saying them. So does the quiet that follows.
“When you imagine us sleeping together, we don’t use a condom?”
“Ah!” The phone drops to the mattress as you cover your ears and roll onto your side, curling into yourself once more. “You didn’t have to say it! You make me sound so weird!”
“It’s not weird,” he laughs, because he can probably imagine exactly what you just did, “I just wanted to make sure I was understanding you. That said… we would definitely use protection.”
“Do we have to?”
The quiet words take even you by surprise—and they seem to stun Spencer as well. Several false starts are punctuated by a sigh as he gathers his thoughts.
“We really should, baby. That’s the kind of thing we need to take seriously.”
“But you’re… you’re good, right?”
Thankfully he picks up on your meaning.
“I am. I wouldn’t touch you if I weren’t.”
“And I’m good. So...”
“Hm. And has anyone ever explained to you where babies come from?”
You groan in frustration.
“Spencer, I’m being serious! There are ways to negate that.”
“Honey,” he murmurs, “I understand that. But it would be irresponsible of me to say yes. We can talk about it in the future, but—”
“I’m telling you it’s already dealt with. The chances of an accidental pregnancy are slim to none.”
The new information hangs in the air for a moment until Spencer speaks—to your surprise, his voice is low and humorous.
“That is… good to know. But even so—I’m setting a dangerous precedent if I always let you get exactly what you want.”
“Is it such a bad thing that I just wanna—I wanna know what it feels like? You don’t want that?”
“That’s not what I said. I want to know exactly what you feel like. I’m just hesitant to give in so quickly because it makes me look weak.”
You laugh breathlessly, caught between being turned on by the first part of his sentence and amused by the sarcastic second half. Your thighs clench and your hand absentmindedly wanders between them.
“You know what I was thinking about?” you ask. Spencer hums curiously. “I was thinking about when you let me, um… when you let me touch you how you touch me.” He hums again, but you can hear the amused curve of a smile in it now.
“When you had your mouth all full of me and you looked so pretty?”
“When I—yeah,” you agree, too caught up to deny his compliment as your fingers brush your most sensitive spot through clothing. “And how you got me all messy after. And I was wondering what it would feel like… inside me.”
He sucks in a breath. Your legs brush against each other and you twist slightly as you pretend like you’re not touching yourself just a little bit.
“You want me to come inside you?”
“Yeah,” you whisper, brain short-circuiting at the way those words sound in his voice.
—
On the other side of the line, Spencer isn’t doing a fantastic job of thinking clearly either. His dick is half-hard already and it’s only getting worse with each little noise you make that you don’t seem to realize you’re making.
“Really? That would be very messy, baby. I’m surprised that’s what you want.”
“But I really want it,” you breathe. He’s not even looking as he slips his hand under the waistband of his pajamas and palms himself, his other hand rubbing tiredly over his face as his phone rests on his chest. This was not how he intended for this call to go, believe it or not—but he’s here now.
“Yeah? Is that why you’re touching yourself right now?”
You go silent—which is more or less exactly the reaction Spencer had been expecting. Patiently he waits for you to deny it, in three, two—
“’M not.”
Now, he could explain how he knows that’s a lie. How your breathing pattern changed, and your voice got softer and airier, and how you started speaking with smaller words in fragmented sentences. But he doesn’t feel like explaining any of that.
“I know that’s not true,” he murmurs. “You know what? It wasn’t fair to get you all worked up last night and then leave. I don’t want you frustrated, honey. I want you to do whatever you need to do.”
You make a little gasping noise, and Spencer can imagine the way your back would arch when you did it. His own hips buck slightly as his dick twitches under his fingers.
“Where are you touching?”
“Um—over my clothes.”
Cute.
“Go under them for me. Tell me how it feels when you’re touching yourself like that.”
It takes a moment, in which all he hears is the rustling of fabric, until you’re whispering, “feels… it feels good. I wish you were here.”
He inhales, freeing his cock and squeezing the base.
“I know. Just listen to my voice, pretty. I’m right here.”
Spencer allows himself a few slow tugs as he imagines what’s happening in his bed. You make a squeaking noise, like a held-back moan, and his eyes screw shut.
“I need them inside,” you whine, and he knows you’re referring to his fingers—the ones currently stroking his own leaking cock.
“You can use your own, just give yourself a minute first. Remember what I said about needing to be ready?”
“I am ready—” judging by the surprised chirp you interrupt yourself with, you’ve proven yourself right. What surprises Spencer is the weak sound of disappointment you make next. “Spence, it doesn’t feel the same.”
“We’re different sizes, honey. Your hands aren’t as big as mine. But you can still make it feel good.”
He almost says, 90% of the nerves in the vaginal canal are located in the lower third—in other words, within approximately 2.36 inches from the opening, which you can most certainly reach—but he refrains. He’s not sure if that’s good dirty talk.
“You have a really sensitive spot about three inches up, right in front. It’s going to feel a little different than the rest of you when you touch it. I want you to try and find it for me, okay?”
“Okay,” you breathe, ever-eager to please even from a great distance. There’s a quiet moment. “I can’t—I don’t think I can r—oh,”
The moan is so pretty Spencer can’t help speeding up the motion of his hand, hissing slightly as his fingers brush against the angry tip with every pump.
“Did you find it?”
“Yeah,” you whine, a weak, high-pitched thing. “Oh my god.”
“Be gentle,” he warns with some effort as his own hips jump slightly. “You’re really sensitive there. If you’re not careful you’ll make yourself sore.”
“I don’t care—holy shit—” the way your voice rises and tightens to a squeak at the end has Spencer moaning as he fucks his fist. A black hole forms and warps time, turning every minute into a second and every second into an infinity until he has no idea how much time is going by. He drags his thumb over the tip, smearing precum over his cock and whining as his jaw drops at the feeling. “Oh my god, Spencer,” in that same strained, high voice. “’M gonna—ah!”
He gets the general sentiment.
“What, baby? You’re gonna make yourself come all over your fingers? Is that what you wanted to tell me?”
“Mhm!”
“Yeah, I bet you are. It feels good, huh?”
“Yes,” you cry.
“See? You don’t need my fingers to feel good. Mine barely fit, you know that? I have to hold your fucking hips down whenever I put my fingers in you because you can’t stop squirming. I don’t know how you think you’re going to take my cock.”
“Spencer!”
He knows.
“Come, baby. Let me hear you.”
The delicate sounds you make as you bring yourself to orgasm tip him over the edge of his own—grunting as he comes all over his fist.
“Jesus,” he strains under his breath, the word dragging out into two long syllables as his hips buck involuntarily and cum drips down his knuckles. He’s lightheaded and he’s created a mess and it all happened so quickly. “Fuck,” he breathes, a rasping chuckle as he reaches for the towel he’d dropped on the bed after his shower earlier. “You conscious over there?”
“I’m conscious,” you slur, breathing heavily. “I’ve never had an orgasm by myself before.”
“Are you proud of yourself?” Spencer smiles, wiping his hand off and making sure he’s otherwise clean. “You should be. I am.”
He’s barely kidding.
“I’ll be proud when I can do it without your help,” you tease.
“But I’ll always want to help you with that.” His already warm face flushes further as he goes over what he’d said. “Sorry I was so vulgar.”
You laugh. He blushes even more.
“Are you? I think you secretly love being vulgar.”
“I don’t know why! I have no idea where it comes from. I would never speak that way in any other context. I should probably work on that. Sometimes I look back on the things I say and I’m genuinely appalled.”
“Well, don’t stop on my account. Personally I enjoy it.”
“Yeah, I think I’m corrupting you. You probably shouldn’t enjoy it.”
The truth of it weighs heavy on his mind, but he’s pretty sure his voice alone doesn’t betray that and you can’t sense it through the phone.
“Oh, my god. Do not do that falling on your sword shit. I like being corrupted by you. If you stop I’ll be very upset.”
“Well god forbid you get upset,” he teases gently. Idly he wonders if the reason he’s suddenly feeling so depressed is because his cortisol levels were already high from the case, and then he jarred his system with an orgasm, spiking his dopamine and ultimately causing it to plummet without the oxytocin release that post-coital physical contact would usually provide.
Or if it was something else. It could also be something else.
For the millionth time, he wishes he was with you. Part of him also wants to go to sleep. But mostly he wishes he was with you.
—
A comfortable silence settles over the conversation. In the ditch between words, you’re mapping constellations in the texture of Spencer’s ceiling. If you squeeze your eyes almost shut, you can imagine it really is the night sky. You can imagine he’s really here.
You think about what he said—his apparently mindless vulgarity. Did it mean anything? Or was he just rambling to get you off?
“Spencer?” you murmur.
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you a question?”
He sounds earnest, perhaps a little tired, as he replies, “always,” through the little metal rectangle on your chest. He likes me and my questions are important to him, you repeat to yourself silently as you work up the strength.
“If Penelope hadn’t called, last night… were you going to have sex with me?”
Your lip tastes like his toothpaste as you chew it. Spencer sucks in a breath of air like he’s about to speak—and lets it fizzle out like foam on a carbonated drink.
“I don’t know,” he finally admits, lamely. “That wasn’t my plan, but you can be extremely convincing when you want to be.”
“But why can’t it be your plan?” It’s an almost whine, pouty and childish—but the next words are quiet and pained. “Is it something I’m doing wrong?”
“No, no! It’s not you. You’re perfect. It’s—it’s complicated. It’s a me thing.”
Such trite words—such a ubiquitous, simple excuse sounds almost comical from his mouth when you know he’s capable of all the eloquence in the world. It’s not you, it’s me. It’s ridiculous.
“Okay. Let me simplify this for you,” you begin with an uncharacteristic assertiveness that surprises even you. “I want to have sex with you. Either we are going to have sex or we’re not. So your future branches in two diverging paths. In one, we have sex, and then we keep having sex. In the other we never have sex ever. If you want to ever have the privilege of fucking me, then we just have to do it. Otherwise it simply will never happen. And I’m not eternally patient, Reid.”
Go me, you think, slightly breathless from your monologue.
“Watch your mouth,” he says dryly. Something about the chastisement makes your stomach flip and your whole body tingle. “When you talk to me you call me Spencer. I will also accept Doctor Reid.” You wrestle down a smile, refusing to let him change the subject. A delayed sigh from him sobers up the conversation. “You know what I want. I’ve been very clear with you about that. But…”
“But…?”
Another sigh. A deeper, shuddering sigh, like his breath is searching for balance. Like Spencer is in a precarious position for which he was unprepared.
“But—but to be completely honest… I worry that you’ll regret choosing me. And I know virginity is a social construct and I’m not implying that your worth will somehow be diminished if we have sex but regardless of my views on virginity as a construct, having sex for the first time can be weird and scary and it’s incredibly intimate and I don’t want you to regret your first time like I regret mine because you chose the wrong person.”
The words come at you so rapid-fire it takes you a moment to process them. And aside from all the ways you want to reassure him that you will not regret choosing him—that you could never, ever regret anything about him—one thing stands out.
“You regret your first time?”
Something between a scoff and a sigh travels through the line. You can tell he’s not annoyed at you for asking so much as he’s flustered himself with all his own words as he occasionally does.
“Yeah. Yes. Sometimes I do. The person—she didn’t… like me as much as I liked her. And I was really, really in love with her, and she knew that and she knew she wasn’t in love with me—or maybe she was, I don’t know—but my point is, when one person likes the other more than the other person like them, things get complicated. And however you feel about me—that’s fine. It’s fine. I don’t want you to feel bad if we don’t feel exactly the same way about each other. I understand that this is newer for you, it’s different, I—I just don’t want us to do something we can’t undo because I don’t want to relive that. And I’m not saying it will never happen but I just don’t want you to make this choice when… when right now, I think we’re in different places emotionally. Regardless of that, I want you to choose the right person. I don’t want you to choose me and then find out that we feel differently after we sleep together and leave you feeling like you signed up for something you didn’t understand. I’m sorry. Maybe telling you this is selfish. But I’ve been thinking about it and trying to ignore it and I think I just have to be completely honest.”
Your ears ring like Spencer just fired a blank right into the microphone. Like you just got backhanded across the face and now you have the world’s worst case of whiplash.
Every finger is numb and your blood is so cold it feels blue as it slithers thick through your veins.
What you want to do is scream. What you want to do is go back to last night and stop yourself from almost telling him I love you, slap yourself and keep your cards a little closer to your chest. Because now he knows, and he doesn’t feel the same.
You want to scream bloody murder.
But when you try, when you unhinge your jaw and part your chapped lips and expect a bellow to come hurdling up the corridor of your throat with so much force it rattles your bones, all that falls out is a small, “oh.”
Maybe that’s worse.
Spencer doesn’t reply. You hate yourself for feeling obliged to fill the silence.
“I didn’t realize you…”
I didn’t realize that you don’t love me back.
I didn’t realize I like you more than you like me.
I didn’t realize you’d tell me to masturbate in your fucking bed and then drop this not even five minutes later.
If Spencer Reid was able to talk to you over the phone with the same amount of affection and familiarity as always, like everything was still okay, knowing you love him and he doesn’t love you the whole time, he is not who you thought he was.
“I’m sorry,” he lamely says again, like it could ever help.
More silence. Now you can’t bring yourself to speak, so Spencer does.
“I realize how awkward this is. I really didn’t mean to put you in this position. Especially not over the phone when I—god, I’m stupid. I’m sorry. But can we—can we talk about this in person when I get back? Please?”
Is that what grownups do? Is the proper etiquette for him to take you out to dinner and explain why he’s not in love with you? Is he going to break up with you?
What does one even wear to a breakup date?
“Okay,” you whisper. Your eyes sting, your everything stings, like you’ve been wrapped in a shroud of briar. Sheets that were soft a moment ago feel like sandpaper on open wounds. You feel like an open wound.
Spencer sighs. It’s a sound of relief that confuses and hurts you even more.
“Okay. I—okay. Thank you. Um—I’ll let you go back to sleep, now.”
“Okay,” you repeat—as if any of this were okay. But you can’t keep being that stupid girl who feels it all so much harder, who loves easily and begs to be loved in return, too naive to assume that someone who treats her so kindly might not reciprocate her feelings. It has to be okay, because if it’s not, you’re silly and dramatic and you’re just proving him right.
“Goodnight,” Spencer whispers, and you can’t help but feeling that it’s the last time you’ll ever hear those words from his mouth while you’re in his bed. And he’s not even fucking here.
So you pull the blanket a little higher. You let your tears stain his pillow because they’ll be invisible by the morning. It will be like they were never here. Like you were never here.
“Goodnight.”
-
part five
#spencer reid#spencer reid fic#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds#criminal minds smut#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fic
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𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭:
𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐭!!
⋅ ˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
𝐒𝐲𝐥𝐮𝐬:
“You must be out of your damn mind if you think that’s gonna fit in me.”
Sylus looked almost offended as you pointed down at his obnoxiously large appendage.
“I’m sorry, I thought you said you liked big dicks?”
You and Sylus had finally gotten in the mood to go all the way… until he pulled his pants and boxers down.
The pure shock on your face was an ego booster for him.
Then he developed his own look of pure shock upon you proclaiming that the sex was off.
And upon asking why, your reasoning was, “it won’t fit. Are you stupid?”
Which he immediately responded with, “I’ll make it fit, sweetie. Don’t worry your pretty little head.”
This only serves to piss you off more.
However… you couldn’t deny the fact that you were extremely curious.
How would it feel? How deep would it go? Could you actually take it?
All this pondering led to you begrudgingly taking him up on his offer.
“Sylus, please, enough! Just fuck me… already…!”
It felt like he had been eating you out for hours.
Sucking on your clit, sticking his tongue into you, and occasionally slipping a finger in.
“You think you’re ready for my cock?” He fixed his sanguine gaze right onto your beautiful face.
You nodded vigorously.
“Alright,” He gave your clit on more kiss before sitting up, palming himself a bit for some kind of relief. “Can you turn over for me, kitten?”
Doing exactly as he asked, you didn’t miss a beat. You were more than eager for it at this point.
You felt Sylus’s warm, hard, heavy body embrace yours, as you two were in the prone bone position.
“Tell me if it hurts, okay, Y/N?” You felt him kiss your shoulder tenderly.
“Yes sir.”
“You promise?”
Oh here he goes. You could sense Sylus’s bullshit from a mile away.
“Yes I promise.”
“You sure?”
“Get the fuck on with it already!”
“I’m gonna count down from three.” You felt him run his tip up and down, paying extra attention to your sensitive clit.
“Nnngh… whatever!” He chuckled at your increasing frustration. You were just so cute like this.
“One…”
You felt Sylus thrust his entire cock in at once, making you gasp as tears welled up in your eyes.
“Sylus what the fuck?!” You looked back at him over your shoulder in disbelief.
“It’s better like this, trust me.”
If you were in a state to argue with him, you would. But right now in this moment, you were in no state to tell him off.
You felt so fucking full. It felt like he was in your guts. Big. So big.
And oddly enough… you loved it.
It felt so warm and intimate. Made you wonder what a creampie could be like.
The sensation of Sylus beginning to move inside of you knocked you out of your thoughts.
He was going so incredibly slow… you could feel every single inch, vein, and curve as he slowly pulled half of himself out and thrusted all of it back in.
“Oh my god, it’s so good,” You said breathlessly, barely able to register the feeling of anything but being stuffed to the brim. “It’s so good… what do I do?”
You heard Sylus groan deeply before a dark chuckle escaped his throat.
“Sit back and enjoy, kitten. That’s all you need to do.”
𝐙𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞:
“No Zayne, it’s not gonna fit, I’m serious!”
“We haven’t even tried yet, Y/N. Relax, please.”
While Zayne’s calm demeanor was often grounding, right now you found it nothing short of annoying.
Your little heart was about to beat right out of your chest… you were sure he could practically hear your heartbeats right now. No stethoscope needed!
It was your first time together… neither of you two had seen each other naked before.
So imagine your surprise when Zayne casually pulls his boxers down to reveal the absolute weapon in his pants.
It wasn’t just big length wise… it was thick. Very thick.
And so so pretty. His dick was so incredibly pretty.
A gorgeous pink tip that faded in color towards the base. Like it was made just for you.
You always caught glimpses of his bulge through his slacks, but you didn’t expect it to be so… huge?
A jaw dropping reveal.
Knowing you like the back of his hand, Zayne obviously felt your concerned gaze on him.
And he promised to get you ready for him properly.
Fingering you for a good hour… making you cum multiple times and stretching you out like the good man he was.
“Do you think you’re ready now?” He was between your legs in missionary, staring down at you.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” You sighed.
“I’ll go slow, I promise.” Zayne kissed you lovingly on the cheek.
You nodded, skin brushing against his as he pulled away.
Gasping as you felt his tip rub up and down your folds, you felt him experimentally push into you to see how much force it would take to enter you.
“Zayne…”
“I know. I’ve got you.”
His soothing words did nothing but assure you. Zayne had every bit of your trust, and he had earned it all.
He entered you slowly, using exact force to get just the tip in.
The sensation of that alone made you toss and turn.
He kept pulling out, and pushing in… and pulling out and pushing in… each time inching a bit more of his cock inside you.
“So big… Zayne it’s so big…” You whined out, eyes shut as you weakly pressed as his pelvis with your palm.
“If you’re saying it’s big when I’ve just managed to fit half of my cock inside you,” Zayne struggled to muffle his own sounds between words. “You’re in for a much harder time than you think.”
He continued his method from before… slowly inching more and more of his cock in a he fucked in and out of you slowly.
The pain was undeniable. But something else was also undeniable.
You felt so incredibly full inside. It felt amazing. The fullness mixed with the invigorating friction of each thrust was intensifying by the minute.
“So good… I think… it’s so good… more please…!”
Zayne chuckled at your admission.
“How about this?” Zayne leaned forward to lean on his forearms above you, grinding his thick cock into you with each stroke. “Does that feel good?”
“Yessss… yeah! Feels so good… Zayne!” You’re pretty sure you were babbling like an idiot, but you just couldn’t help it.
Dipping down, he caught your lips with his for a deep kiss.
Pulling away, his eyes bore deep into yours. So deep that you could see yourself reflected in them.
“Do you want me to go faster now?”
“Yes… please… Zayne…!”
#love and deep space zayne#zayne smut#zayne x you#lads zayne#dr zayne#zayne love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#zayne x mc#doctor zayne#zayne x reader#lnds zayne#l&ds zayne#sylusposting#sylus x you#sylus x mc#l&ds sylus#lnds sylus#sylus smut#love and deepspace sylus#sylus x reader#sylus#lads sylus#l&ds smut#love and deepspace imagines#love and deepspace#lads smut
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I want an AU where Steve is a werewolf and Eddie is a vampire except neither of them know about the other.
Eddie is the frontman of an up and coming band, but he's left his coven and surrounded himself with humans. They perform after sunset anyway so it's easy enough for him to hide his nature.
Steve has similarly left his toxic family pack and built his own pseudo-pack through the kids. He works as a park ranger. Or an ornithologist. Or something else nature-y/nerdy. But no one knows about his furry little secret.
Maybe Steve ends up attending a concert with one of the kids who has VIP passes and Eddie zeros in on Steve immediately at the meet and greet because he's pretty and preppy and delightfully out of place and also he smells good. And Steve is having similar thoughts, but he tries to play it off because there's no way an honest to god rock star would be interested in him and his polo and his boat shoes (also his hearing is temporarily fucked from the concert, so he doesn't register Eddie's lack of heartbeat).
After some light flirting, Eddie invites Steve back to his hotel and Steve is like, you know what? Yes. I am going to have a one night stand with the gorgeous front man of a metal band and I'll probably fall a little in love with him by the end of the night and it will break my heart when he kicks me out in the morning, but it will be an experience. Let me go drop off my kids and I'll be right back.
Except what he doesn't know is Eddie is planning to have a little snack while they're in the throes of passion––not enough to hurt Steve or anything, just enough that he'll have a pleasurable blackout and wake up tired but sated.
The only problem is that neck-biting (that breaks the skin) for wolves is the equivalent of marriage.
So when Eddie bites Steve, instead of a venom-drunk human, peacefully slipping into sleep in his arms, he gets a very horny, very confused, werewolf who is now insisting that they're married.
I can't decide if it would be funnier if Wolves/Vampires didn't know about each other, Ie:
"You're a Werewolf?" Eddie says, "What do you mean you're a werewolf? Werewolves exist? No. Shut up. Prove it."
And:
"Holy shit. A vampire. Vampires are real," Steve reaches for Eddie's face and Eddie is so baffled by the everything of this situation that he lets Steve pinch Eddie's top lip and peel it up off his fangs for a mortifyingly long moment. Eddie draws the line when he starts poking at Eddie's incisors, though.
"Why do I feel funny?" Steve mutters. "Will your venom kill me?"
"How should I know," Eddie hisses, only a little hysterical, "I didn't know wolves existed until two minutes ago, I've never bitten a wolf before."
"And you won't be biting any others, mister. Infidelity is not ok."
The other option is that wolves and vamps DO know about each other but stay so isolated in their covens and packs (and loners are super unusual) that they never interact. So Steve and Eddie are both like, dang, I'd been raised to think all of your kind were smelly/ugly/gross, but you uh, don't fit into that box at all. Weird.
Regardless, Steve (still naked, probably) crosses his arms all huffy, like, "well, we're married now, you're not going to bite me and then cast me aside like some harlot," and Eddie is like "...I'm weirdly ok with this, actually. No arguments here." And eventually they live happily ever after.
#someone write this please#steddie#steve/eddie#eddie/steve#steve harrington/eddie munson#steve x eddie#steddie fic#stranger things
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Slam the Door
Summary: Where Y/N slams the door on her boyfriend’s car to see how he would react.
Warning: Spelling and grammatical errors
A/N: this includes Charles Leclerc, Lando Norris, Lewis Hamilton, Oscar Piastri, Logan Sargeant, Max Verstappen, and Carlos Sainz Jr. since I am writing about them now
Charles Leclerc
Y/N and Charles were in the gas station. He filled up the car and got back in the car to get his wallet.
“Hey, I can go in pay for it, I kinda wanted some chips and a soda.” Y/N said.
“Yeah sure, Mon coeur, here’s my wallet.” Charles said, sitting fully in the car, handing his wallet to Y/N.
“Thanks, muñeco.” Y/N said, before slamming the door. Charles was startled, his face like when he hit the camera in Australia.
“What was that about.” Charles wondered out loud. “Did I do something? I don’t think I did anything, can’t be her period, she would have told me, can’t be her birthday, not our anniversary, what happened?” He could think about dome thing else since Y/N got in the car. “Why did you slam my door?” Charles asked
“What?” Y/N asked, opening her bag of chips.
“Why did you slam my door? Did I do something to upset you, or…?” Charles asked, starting his car.
“What? Of course not, it’s just a TikTok prank.” Y/N said.
“Oh, okay, but did you have to slam the door so hard, the car actually shook, Mon ange.” Charles said, Y/N laughed.
“Sorry, muñeco, I didn’t mean to. But the car is okay.” Y/N said.
Lando Norris
Y/N and Lando were leaving the restaurant, they got into his car, Y/N looked in her purse.
“La concha de su madre, I left my ID at the restaurant, I’ll be right back.” Y/N said.
“Of course, baby, be safe.” Lando said.
“I will.” Y/N said, getting out of the car and slamming the door. Lando was in shock, rolled down his window, honked his horn to make Y/N turn around, and yelled.
“You muppet! Were you trying to cause a mini earthquake?” Lando shouted and Y/N was bent over, laughing. “What are you laughing about? I’m pretty sure my phone fell in between the seats.”
“Sorry, fresita, it’s was a TikTok prank.” Y/N said, walking back to the car and showing him her ID.
“Why can’t you be one of those girls who pulls the penal where they walk in on their boyfriends naked? I’d really like that one.” Lando said, starting the car to go home:
“Because that’s not a prank, Lando, that’s your dream come true.” Y/N said and Lando laughed
“Well you’re not wrong.” Lando replied. “Can you help me look for my phone when we make it home?”
“Yeah, of course.”
Logan Sargeant
Y/N and Logan were going to leave the parking lot when.
“Shit, forgot my phone upstairs, I’ll be right back.” Y/N said.
“Alright.” Logan said. Y/N slammed the door and Logan started looking around the car and looked at Y/N through the windshield. “The fuck was that about.” Y/N walked back to the car with her phone in hand. She got into the car and Logan was staring at her.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Y/N asked.
“Do you love me?” Logan asked.
“Of course I do.” Y/N said.
“Then why did you slam my door? It felt like that scene in Jurassic Park where the dinosaurs shook the whole ground.” Logan said and Y/N laughed.
“Don’t be dramatic, I barely slammed the door.” Y/N said.
“Im pretty sure there is a crack in window.” Logan said, pointing to the passenger side window.
“Haha, it was a TikTok prank, let’s go.” Y/N said.
Oscar Piastri
Oscar and Y/N were putting groceries in the trunk.
“Tiburóncin, can you start the car and turn on the A/C? I want the freezer meals to stay cool.” Y/N said.
“Sure, darling.” Oscar said, kissing Y/N before he enters the car and did as he was told. Y/N finished putting groceries away. Y/N opened the passenger door.
“Im gonna our the cart away, okay?” Y/N said before slamming the door to put the cart back. Oscar just blinked.
“That was weird.” Oscar said, Y/N got back into the car. “Is there any particular reason why you slammed my door? I told you, it’s not the store’s fault they don’t carry your pumpkin seeds.” Oscar said.
“First; they all carry pumpkin seeds, they just carry them raw or dry roasted and salted. Why the hell are there never pumpkin seeds dry roasted in their shells? Anyway, it was just a TikTok prank.” Y/N said.
“Babe, this is my company car, you can’t just slam the door.” Oscar said.
“Sorry, tiburóncin, let’s go home before our groceries start to melt.” Y/N said.
Lewis Hamilton
Lewis and Y/N were in the parking lot of the restaurant.
“Okay, loser has to pick it up.” Y/N said.
“No way, I picked up food last time, it’s your turn.” Lewis said.
“Fine, give me money to pay for the food.” Y/N said, holding out her hand. Lewis handed her over his wallet. “Thank you, cariño.” Y/N said and slammed the door when she left. Lewis rolled down his window and honked his horn, causing Y/N to turn. Lewis poked his head out the window.
“Did you seriously slam my door because I made you pick up the food?” Lewis asked. “I didn’t know you were so bratty!” Lewis shouted
“You can’t shout that shit out, sir Lewis!” Y/N shouted back
“Watch me! Pick up the food, the sooner we get it, the sooner I’ll fuck the best out of you!” Lewis yelled.
“Dude!” Y/N yelled before entering the restaurant, Lewis winked and blew her a kiss before pulling his head back in. Y/N came back. “I have the food and just for the record, I wasn’t being a brat.”
“Then why did you slam the door?” Lewis asked.
“TikTok prank, you know, it’s a Gen Z, think, you wouldn’t know since you’re a millennial.” Y/N teased.
“You’re trying to call me old?” Lewis asked
“Not trying, I am calling you old. Now I’m being a brat.” Y/N said.
“Oh you’re getting it when we get home.” Lewis said, pulling out of the parking lot.
Carlos Sainz Jr.
Y/N and Carlos were in the Walgreens parking lot.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go in with you?” Carlos asked
“Alguien te ha dicho que preocupes mucho? It’s not like I’m in an episode of criminal minds, we’re in broad daylight, I’m fine, don’t worry. I’ll be back.” Y/N said, before kissing Carlos and slamming the door to enter Walgreens. Carlos jumped from the brute force. Carlos rolled down the window.
“Hija de tu madre, por qué haces eso?” Carlos asked laughing.
“Let me get my shit, okay!” Y/N went in and got out quickly, getting into the car. “Ahora sí, whats up?”
“Why did you slam my door? My car has done nothing to you.” Carlos asked laughing.
“Sorry, amor, it was a prank.” Y/N said.
“My poor car.” Carlos said.
“No seas payaso, let’s go home, I got your dog a treat.” Y/N said.
Max Verstappen
Max and Y/N were sitting in a parking lot.
“Hey, I’m gonna get ice cream, I’ll be right back, okay.” Y/N said.
“Okay, darling.” Max said. Y/N slammed the door when she left and Max just stared at Y/N walking away. He blinks and went back on his phone. “Wonder what’s that about.” Y/N came back.
“So I bought you ice cream, you can eat it now or just put it in the freezer.” Y/N said, showing him the cup with the to-go lid., Max stared at him. “What?”
“You slammed my door, why?” Max asked.
“It’s a TikTok prank.” Y/N responded.
“Okay.” Max said.
“That’s it?” Y/N asked.
“Yeah, I know you’re addicted to the app.” Max said.
“I am not addicted, you take that back.” Y/N said.
“You slammed my door because of TikTok, you’re addicted.” Max said.
“Fine, it’s my ice cream now.” Y/N said.
“Okay, okay, you’re not addicted, let’s go, I gotta see my cats.” Max said.
“Ugh, I gotta take my allergy pills.” Y/N said, continuing to eat her ice cream as Max drives off.
Hope y’all liked it! I tried something different, should I do more posts like this?
#hispanic reader#latina#hispanic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fluff#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton fanfic#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton#max verstappen x reader#lando norris x reader#oscar piastri x reader#logan sargent x reader#carlos sainz x reader#oscar piastri fanfic#lando norris fluff#logan sargeant fluff#carlos sainz jr#max verstappen#lando norris#logan sargeant#oscar piastri
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