#and i think they're very (very) zealous about making it up

[expertfool]

i’m addicted to your forthur posting and im curious, if everyone survived MH how do you think their relationship would continue from MH onwards?

aah, thank you very much! i'm glad ppl like reading my posts!

i think this is a bit difficult for me to answer for a couple reasons: i haven't read 'and another thing' or 'the salmon of doubt' yet, and i think my answer would change depending on the stories in them. i've heard 'and another thing' is considered controversial among fans bc it has a different author and the characterization is weird, but i still think it might make a difference about what i think.

it's also difficult bc when i think of anything post-mostly harmless i get very 'starry-eyed romantic' and want a world where ford and arthur settle down together or go on adventures. realistically, this seems unlikely. they've reached a point in their relationship by mostly harmless where they seem unable to communicate well with one another. i'm pulling this from the limited information at the end of so long and thanks for all the fish where douglas adams skips over the part where ford splits up from arthur and fenchurch. we know ford went back to earth for arthur since this is covered in the beginning of the book, but when arthur tries to ask ford at the end of the book ford very blatantly brushes arthur off. it almost seems like ford is jealous that arthur so quickly found someone else to replace him (fenchurch). i don't mean this in an entirely romantic way if that isn't your persuasion, but i think that ford feels jealous (in the way that friends do when they think they've been replaced) that arthur is now choosing to the see the galaxy with fenchurch when in book one ford had said he wanted to travel the galaxy with arthur. so, to summarize this point, ford goes back to earth for arthur, finds arthur has someone else to travel the galaxy with, and ford dips out the moment he gets a chance.

by the time they reunite in mostly harmless i think it's been about ten years. the last ford knew, arthur had been gallivanting across the universe with fenchurch. the last arthur knew, everyone had abandoned him to rot on some backwater planet. so, ten years no communication and no longer on the same page by the time they meet again they immediately get into a verbal spat bc arthur is fed up. but they also immediately fall back into old habits. the problem i see here is that they have the argument but fall back into old habits with no communication about either of their frustrations. it's like they wanted the emotional gratification of released anger without having to sacrifice the comfort of their dynamic and without any vulnerability. ford is happy to show off and look out for arthur bc it makes ford feel good, and arthur is happy to have someone finally looking out for him again, but neither wants to address how badly they're both on separate pages of their friendship.

post-mostly harmless, i think this dynamic would persist. it would give way to more arguments with equal amounts of codependency if they stuck together. if—and that's a big if—they could communicate, i like to imagine they'd help raise random along with trillian (and zaphod?) either on a ship suitable for long-term living or find a planet to settle on, but in order for that to happen i do think they'd still have a long stint of arguing and codependency to get through before the happy ending. i also like to think that arthur tries out cooking for a hobby—since he'd already been getting into it on lamuella—and that ford takes random on work trips (like a 'bring your kid to work day' bit), and random grows up to be a writer like ford.

[orcboxer]

thinkin about tumblr

it's been fascinating to watch tumblr culture develop over the years, where it was 99% fandom shit to begin with, and I feel like maybe the social justice side of tumblr started developing around the brony discourse era? not sure if that was the first, it's been a minute. but like it was technically a fandom thing, but it was about politics in fandoms, and with all these political posts circulating we started seeing entire blogs dedicated to politics in fandoms, leading to the absolutely foundational "your fave is problematic" era, which I think really set the tone for tumblr politics forever. single out a person, decide they're Bad, look through everything they've ever said and let confirmation bias guide you to something politically Bad or Close Enough To Bad For You To Assume It Is, then call it out and guilt trip anyone who doesn't circulate your very impassioned rant. maybe call them out too. and as with all communities, we start developing our own jargon as bloggers with academic backgrounds use important-sounding words that capture an Idea As Seen By Tumblr At A Specific Time, terms which eventually fall out of fashion and must be replaced by new terms and new ways of identifying things and people as Ontologically Bad. and in order to justify it, you gotta use the most superlative language possible, you have to draw a connection between the person and tumblr's current Worst Things Imaginable.

there can be no defense, no two-way discussion, no neutrality, the Bad Thing must be loudly denounced at every opportunity, whenever it comes up. if someone previously Good is suddenly called out as Bad, then they were always Bad to begin with, they were never truly Good. it was always obvious they were actually Bad, and you guys just didn't notice because you don't care how their Bad affects other people (guilt trip). distorted comparisons are made until every Bad thing becomes Maximally Bad, so that all Bad things are equivalent.

a whole community of politics built on this attitude that it is better to condemn the innocent than support the guilty. rage is a virtue and if you're just zealous enough you'll prove your status as a Good person. nuance is just a silencing tactic, not a safety mechanism. everything is obvious and everyone Good agrees with me. and on top of that somebody is gonna try to make it about fandoms again.

[menofsweaters]

MHA Vigilantes episode four, with commentary by me:

- WHAT THE FUCK pervy villains groping women??

- are these guys related to Segway because it's basically the same Quirk

- "they're just weirdos" yep

- I really enjoy these smaller vignettes, including the more small-time villains, makes the world feel fleshed out and "normal" if that makes sense

- one of my big criticisms of MHA is that it escalates too quickly into world-ending shit and we don't take time to explore everyday life with Quirks and heroes and villains, so this is nice

- Knuckles is cold-blooded, just clocking Segway during practice

- the animation is honestly beautiful, the smooth action, the light blush on people's cheeks, the vibrant color - all really nice

- I want a delicious strawberry and cream crepe 😭

- holy shit she injected him with THREE doses

- preying on those with mental illness again I see

- Knuckles I am concerned for you

- not because of this villain, but because of your attitude

- UM what is happening here with the bee villain girl?? I'm guessing she's luring him somewhere to drug him, but the vibes are real dicey

- Ingenium tiiiiiime

- it's kinda fun to see a hero like this with a team, where he has to be carefully dispatched to trouble, like sending in SWAT or something

- ouch failure

- I confess, I still don't quite understand why Ingenium was targeted by Stain, I know it was sort of a wrong place, wrong time thing but still

- I guess I need to acknowledge that Stain was just imperfect in his zealous pursuit of his ideals, and he saw the world in very black and white terms

- anyway where's Stendhal I was promised a cool ponytail and a mask that makes no sense for his Quirk

- okay well Tensei is fuckin dreamy these animators need to stop it

- HIS EYEBROWS ARE ARROWS omg do you think he shaves them like that or it's natural

- BABY TENYA HITTING THE TREE my heart ❤️

- a world where Segway is Ingenium's sidekick is so beautiful, probably too much to hope for

- also Koichi can go up walls, which is probably very difficult for Ingenium, even if Slide & Glide doesn't have the same speed/power as Engine

- YEAH KOICHI WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR LICENSE WHILE WORKING gosh that would be reasonable

- I've always maintained that I would probably be Quirkless in the MHA universe because that just makes sense to me considering my life, but I think that working in hero support would be very interesting

- where is my CSI/911/Law & Order style MHA spinoff about the cops and support staff in a Quirk society

- laughing over here at Segway casually tripping that villain

- friendly neighborhood vigilantes time

- "I'm not involved" never change Pop Step

- see Koichi you lost a great post-graduation job prospect what's wrong with you

- (also lighten up Ingenium, clearly he'd be great for your agency)

- AHHHH NEXT TIME IS STENDHAL

- I'm going to be insufferable, thanks

[buddiebeginz]

it's funny because aside from the crazies the normal BT fans don't like the scene because it's confirming this relationship is very much just extremely casual and about just sex. this situationship is gonna end in s8 for sure. oliver knows this as well which is why he doeosn't touch this shit wiht a ten foot pole also the way they harass him and ryan in his dm's and attack ryan and they're shocked oliver blocks their asses when they attack one of his best friends whom btw both oliver and ryan are already captains of a ship which pisses them off i'm sure.

I honestly can't wait to see that nothing of a ship go down in flames. That fandom has been insufferable to deal with and not just for the Buddie fandom but like you pointed out some of them have harassed Oliver and Ryan and even journalists. They've also spammed the 911 accounts with B*mmy comments and they message Tim all the time.

I have no problem with people who ship something different than me but I really can't wait for T*mmy to be gone because ever since that ship became a thing the entire 911 fandom has been worse off.

I blame Lou and his cameos for some of this though because if he hadn't been feeding into their delusions and giving them attention some of the more zealous ones might not have gotten as out of hand as they have. I also think without the cameos those fans might have had a more realistic picture of where things were headed. Instead some of them firmly believe that s7 was setting up T*mmy to be Buck's endgame love interest.

I get being hopeful and rooting for your ship but they completely ignore what's actually being shown on screen while somehow also acting like canon is the only thing that matters. Make it make sense. 🤦‍♀️Like they attack people simply for celebrating Eddie as a queer character because they haven't said he's queer on the show so that's not allowed. Nevermind the fact that no one said Buck was queer before season 7 but he still is and has been. They call us delusional for still shipping Buddie and wanting to see them together yet Buddie had way more screen time than B/T. And what screen time they did have was also some of the most important Eddie and Buck had all season. Their relationship came out of s7 deeper than it has ever been.

Mostly I just hope that they're not going to attack Oliver and Ryan when that ship inevitably ends. Because Buddie or no Buddie I 100% don't see B*mmy lasting beyond s8. I know they'll blame us but I don't want to see Oliver disappear from social media when a portion of them get smacked in the face with the reality that this was never meant to be a long term ship. I wish they'd realize this is why he's not promoting that ship. He knows to some degree where this storyline is heading and he doesn't want to get peoples hopes up.

[bedtimegiraffe]

I just realized...

Who gave Mal the tip that leads to the Onyx Shard? Him calling it 'a good one' suggests he was told to look for something specific, not just all the miscellaneous gold we find down there.

Scholar Vash?

We do know that Scholar Vash became aware of the Shards last year (was this pilgrimage a front to find them?). But given how zealous he is, and the fact that he's on his way to the temple at the same time, I'm ruling him out.

Duke Erthax?

Duke Erthax is there. But that makes him less of a culprit to me. Why hire a guy, then undermine him and threaten him with thugs, thus risking him turning on you? At that point, just grab it yourself. I don't think it's him either.

Aerin?

Aerin is looking for the Shards and he's wealthy enough to pay Mal well. But it never comes up, so that seems less likely. Also, Mal specifically says he's not bringing it to Whitetower. So likely not Aerin.

Another Member of the Shadow Court?

I don't get the impression they're a very cooperative group; I would guess they're all scrambling to be the one to find the Onyx Shards to impress the Dreadlord. So it wouldn't be a surprise for Erthax to become aware of this Shard too and race to get it first, undermining another member.

But if another member of the Shadow Court went after that Shard, why send Mal? All the members of the Shadow Court we see are incredibly powerful and eager to get their hands on the Shards. Xenia wears it on her person and carries a decoy! I can't see them sending one human man, trusting him to get the job done, unless they physically can't reach it. Too greedy and unwilling to trust others to go through intermediaries if they can help it.

Someone Aerin Recruited?

If Aerin didn't hire Mal directly, it could be someone he recruited. A mayor, for example, could have the money to hire Mal. They also wouldn't necessarily be strong or magical enough to go retrieve it themselves. So they would have to rely on hiring a (well known but independent) adventurer for help.

I doubt there's a canon answer, but I'm leaning toward the person who hired Mal being someone Aerin corrupted. They could reasonably know about the Shard, and been unable to retrieve it themselves, making hiring Mal a practical option.

Other opinions? Things I missed? Let me know!

Update from the future:

No one wanted to correct me, huh?

I still stand by my theory that this is someone Aerin corrupted!

[mcgnagallsarmy]

Spuffy style Reading Challenge - #28: Alphabet Soup Challenge #2

A:

At Ease by The Danish Bird [NC-17]

Even with her eyes closed, Buffy would recognise this place in a second, and for a moment she wondered if she truly had ended up in a hell dimension this time. One that had doomed her to an eternity of Doublemeat Palace workdays. Buffy felt her lips moving, heard her own voice speaking, and as she opened her eyes she decided that a hell dimension definitely wasn’t ruled out just yet. “Welcome to the Doublemeat Palace, how may I help – “ She stared into Riley’s scarred face as she completed her sentence. “– you.” Her mom, Sunnydale, her home, Spike – There are many things Buffy misses in her life, but if she had gotten the choice to revisit a day that had already passed, this would so not be it!

B:

The Bad Penny by OffYourBird [R]

Six years ago, Buffy made a home in a new dimension with a Spike who defied every rule to be by her side. Now it’s time to put to rest unfinished business in her original dimension. However, a visit there quickly turns apocalyptic, and at the heart of it is the two vampires who set Buffy's original journey in motion, and both of them have a lot of explaining to do.

C:

Christmas Date by bewildered [NC-17]

Christmas Eve in Cleveland, 2004. Holiday request from Dark. Squeaking it in for the end of the Christmas Season. (It's only the 9th day of Christmas! That counts!)

D:

Drive by Holly [NC-17]

Freshly turned and very grumpy about it, Buffy finds herself in a weird place. One where her friends smell like food, her former mortal enemy smells like heaven, and the so-called love of her life has made it clear that killing her is on his to-do list. Throw in some overly zealous army guys and this is not Buffy's idea of a party. So she and Spike decide to hit the road at least long enough to figure out why neither of them can hit anything else. And since they're both single and free, well, Buffy wouldn't say no to a distraction from the never-ending laugh riot that is her life. And Spike can be very, very distracting. Good thing soulless vampires can't fall in love or she might be in trouble.

E:

Embers by Dusty [NC-17]

Spike's the best boyfriend. He fulfills all of Buffy's fantasies. All of them.

F:

Favor by EllieRose101 [NC-17]

Spike asks an impossible thing of Buffy––and is stunned when she says yes. Could he really have gone up in her estimation?

G:

Golden Hour by kennedynoelle [R]

Response to a challenge set by emilise: Spike never came to Sunnydale during the first few seasons. The first time Buffy sees him is during The Harsh Light of Day, sunbathing on campus adorned with the Gem of Amara. Oh no, she thinks, the pit of her stomach dropping and sending tinglies all over, he's hot. They start dating, Buffy unaware that her new boyfriend is a member of the undead. Of course, she has to find out eventually…

H:

The Halloween Series by spike_spetslayer [NC-17]

Buffy and Spike make an unbreakable pact during their first real confrontation in Season 2. Story includes spoilers from season 2 through season 7.

I:

If I Loved You Less by MillennialCryBaby [NC-17]

How long had Spike been gone? 147 days. 148 at midnight. Except maybe today won't count?

J:

Just to Reach You by Sunalso [R]

Post-Series. Spike and Buffy have been a couple for almost two years. The honeymoon is over and together they're discovering they still have a lot to learn about themselves, each other, and how this whole "normal" relationship thing works.

K:

Kaleidoscope by Lirazel [PG-13]

"Can you tell me, is this love that I'm seeing?" One by one, the people in Buffy and Spike's lives try to add up the obvious.

L:

Let it Burn! by Axell [Adult Only]

Her eyes followed the blood. Summers blood. She counted the drops. Ten. Then it stopped. If Dawn dies, I’m through. I don’t want to live in a world if these are the choices. Slowly, her head rose up. Their eyes met. Green and amber. A look passed between them then a nod. Her own voice echoed into her mind. I’m counting on you. To avenge her. Us. He made a promise. Until dusk will swallow them all.

M:

Melting Fire by Freecat [R]

Set right after Dead Things. The night after, all he wants is talk. The night after, there’s nothing she wants less than talking. And suddenly they find themselves in another dimension; one that Buffy can’t leave. There’s only one way to get her out. A way with consequences.

N:

Night Swimming by Geliot99 [R]

An unexpected heatwave in mid-March is reason enough for an impromptu pool party for the Scoobies. But when Richard takes a second stab* at winning Buffy's affections, Spike is all too keen to show her how much fun night swimming with a vampire can really be… *see what I did there? Set between 'Older and Far Away' and 'As You Were'

O:

One Step Away by violettathepiratequeen [PG]

Spike knows the way she dances. Not even Faith in Buffy's body can fool him.

P:

Pardon My French by Girlytek [R]

In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to let Buffy perform a spell in French. Begins at No Place Like Home.

Q:

Quake by Holly [NC-17]

Following Tutor. Riley's kiss did nothing for her, which clearly means her night with Spike didn't take. But since the world is probably ending, Buffy decides one more lesson couldn't hurt.

R:

Rock Solid by Passion4Spike [NC-17]

Buffy comes to some realizations about herself, the nature of her love, and her feelings for Spike on the eve of the biggest fight of her life, but will it be too little, too late? Spoiler Alert: No, it won’t.

S:

Something Blue's Clues by cawthraven [PG-13]

Willow is just fed up with the way Buffy and Spike act around each other. What are they, five?

T:

Timelines,Schmimelines by bookishy [NC-17]

When Buffy’s sent back to her first year of college to retrieve an artifact for the future, she ends up on the day of the first inaugural Christmas Party at Casa del Xander. Or, time travel meets its greatest match, and that match is alcohol.

U:

Under The Influence by NautiBitz [NC-17]

A few nights after their engagement spell, Buffy has to watch Spike. Problem is, a psychedelic demon may have just spritzed her with a mind-altering substance. Will Spike seize the moment? Or will they just end up naked? HMMM.

V:

Vampire In Charcoal by Geliot99 [NC-17]

Hiring out her mother's art gallery for classes had been a stroke of genius, but when the life model for the upcoming class comes down with the flu and an extremely unsuitable replacement is found last minute, Buffy is faced with a lot more of her nemesis than she was ever anticipating.

W:

where the shadow ends by disco-tea [R]

For 147 days, Spike and Dawn grieve Buffy. This is a story of a vampire and a Key who try to cope with the loss of the one person who meant the most to them…and how they became a family along the way.

X:

Xerox by Holly [R]

Spike and Buffy leave Angel a parting gift.

Y:

You Learn by bramcrackers [Adult Only]

When Buffy learns about Angel’s history with Drusilla, she can’t ignore how he seems to keep everything about his past to himself unless forced. How can she love someone she doesn’t even know? A trip to a local mage later, she’s plunged headfirst into Angel’s entire sordid history in a series of visions. And dealing with all of that would have been a hell of a lot easier if Spike hadn’t somehow been pulled into it, happy to add the color commentary.

Z:

Zero by kantayra [NC-17]

Trapped together in an icy prison, Buffy and Spike find one way to turn up the heat.

[yellowocaballero]

going ape crazy over the latest installment in the roleswap au holy SHIT. love this akatsuki. rin with her zealous conviction and manipulative kindness. the horror of her smothering and reviving shisui for no reason. she's SO GOOD. kakashi being fully aware that what they're doing is fucked but just using it as a club to beat himself w/ rather than doing anything about it. yahiko trying to make therapy no jutsu a thing. god fucking bless

THANK YOU I LOVE THEM ALL.

Rin was really difficult to write - I think I need to write out a short story featuring her as a kid. Having a mental idea of herself when she was good is an important anchor to her life when she's bad. She has utter conviction in her team and her village, and boundless kindness for everybody around her. I think this grows warped into utter conviction in herself, and boundless kindness for those who she decides deserves it. I think she can be really interesting and unique as a villain, and I really hope to do more with her. Her convictions, ideals, goals, and dreams are very important to her - human life is not. She was idly killing and reviving Shisui for no reason at all.

Very accurate summary of Kakashi, haha. He's permanently in his Hound era and I'd say his depression is drowning him. He has no interest in improving his or anybody else's lives. The only things he still finds important are loyalty and love, but in many ways he's only loyal to the ghosts of two dead children. In Kakashi typical manner, he'd rather hate himself than help anybody.

It's almost strange - while writing it, I was thinking of him as the member of the Akatsuki with the clearest moral compass (yes, including Yahiko). But while writing I found myself genuinely asking myself the same question he was asking himself. I don't think I decided on a single clear answer. I think Rin has greater capacity for genuine goodness, while Kakashi is more likely to turn away from the Akatsuki without Naruto intervention.

Yahiko is a beautiful beam of sunshine who deserves his god complex and adoration of the masses. He's my little cutie-pie and all of his atrocities are for a good cause. Unproblematic king, the Akatsuki ARE a peace organization, never let Kakashi tell you anythhing different!

Regardless, the love that Rin and Kakashi have for Obito is very real. They're still very devoted to him. Or...like, the concept/memory/idea of him...same thing...right...

I definitely want to write more. Something weird that keeps tripping me up is the question, 'What's more interesting: outside POV of Tobi or inside POV?'. Seems like a simple question but it's actually being a big roadblock for a lot of decisions. I haven't done any writing in a long time for way too many reasons, but I have a miraculously clear weekend so I hope I'll be able to finally get something written.

[pierrotwrites-hc]

soo... luca consistently refers to the lady in his pov chapters. his people's religion/spiritual beliefs/tendency towards human sacrifice seems to play a big part in branding them less than human by their enemies. i'm wondering whether luca somehow resisted being brainwashed out of the religion he grew up with, or did they just... introduce him to ganymene and called it a day, without bothering to figure out what exactly he might already believe in? it sticks out as very noteworthy considering how thoroughly most of his culture was taken from him. i always thought luca's little patchwork belief system was interesting (the lady as the true goddess in his mind who would not help him and ganymene as the guy painted on the wall of the training house who's probably more inclined to listen to his prayers... at least that's what it read like to me) and i wonder whether we'll get more insight into it. i've always assumed that he came to the conclusion that the lady abandoned him on his own, but maybe that's what he was told and it just... didn't stop him believing in her? then again, solasans don't seem to know about her to begin with and probably wouldn't care to. i've been thinking about this for a while, haha - have a nice day!

oh, I love this question.

so, the Solasan empire has no interest in religious conversion. there isn't even an official religious infrastructure within Solas, because Roland the Conqueror liquidated it in order to fund his wars abroad.

Toby and Tybalt discuss this in Part II Ch17:

“Well, my great-grandfather Roland got rid of all the priests, you see. And took their property and gave it to the Midland lords, and melted down all their gold and gave it to the lords of Lyonesse. And the priests had been around for positively ages. Much longer than three hundred years. But when Roland got rid of them the common people stood about amazed and said to each other, oh, what a thing, now we don’t need to give all our money to the temples, we can give it to the Crown instead.”

Tybalt looked like he was struggling with several responses to this. He settled on “Some commoners do still make offerings at the remaining temples, you know, even if there aren’t any priests to bless them for it.”

Toby waved this away.

“Silly peasant superstition. Anyway, my brothers say that people of quality don’t give the old rituals the least bit of consideration.

as usual, Toby doesn't get it quite right. the Midland lords were given property previously held by the temples in order to ensure their fealty and cooperation; ditto the lords of Lyonesse with the fungible assets. of course, a lot of that gold went into building up the army and navy and equipping and provisioning them during the takeover of Kel -- a massive one-time cash infusion that future kings would never be able to match (though they've tried by raising taxes at an ever-increasing rate, leading to a corresponding increase in poverty, debt slavery, and general resentment of the crown).

since priesthood as a caste was abolished, religion in Solas has become completely decentralized. the few temples which remain are run by the devout. belief in the gods remains widespread, however, particularly among the lower classes.

so that's Solas. let's talk about Kel. you're absolutely right that their zealous religiosity and practices like human sacrifice are perceived as primitive and even subhuman in Solas. at the same time, Solasans just don't care about converting the barbarians. it isn't part of their imperial project for the simple reason that they get nothing out of it. Solas isn't really interested in "civilizing" the barbarians, in part because they see the barbarians as inherently and irreparably uncivilized. they're just interested in exploiting barbarian land and labor. sure, the Solasan occupiers outlawed some traditional practices, but they aren't motivated by religious or humanitarian concerns. they just want to weaken group identity and, in the case of human sacrifice, prevent the deaths of potentially productive members of the workforce.

this is all to say that there has never been a concerted effort on the part of Luca's captors to stamp out his faith in the Lady. he can have whatever silly little beliefs he likes as long as they don't impede his usefulness.

at the same time, Luca's own experience of his faith has been shifted and reshaped by trauma. he believes in the Lady, but also thinks himself no longer worthy of her attention or protection. the Kel have a warrior culture; the Lady is a warrior goddess. Luca's entire existence in Solas is defined by conditions of defeat and subjugation. the Lady is still the goddess, but she can no longer be his goddess. Ganymene fills that gap. he's a more immediate, accessible divine presence, and having himself been mortal and victimized, he can understand Luca, accept him, and watch out for him. the Lady is all-powerful, but remote; Ganymene is local, amicable, and welcoming. Luca worships both because each offers something he badly needs (Ganymene, acceptance and hope in the present; the Lady, connection to his past and his people). it's a highly syncretic belief system that has helped keep him alive.

[maestro04yayyy]

https://www.tumblr.com/maestro04yayyy/756257787180433408/sorry-had-to-share-this-with-someone-even-though-i?source=share

So, I ended up musing on this idea a little more & wanted to share some thoughts, given you seemed to like the premise >:3c

Firstly, I am thinking the statement which causes Chloe's brain to switch Juleka from "Attractive girl threatening me" to "Matches my freak, I must have her" would be something like:

Chloe: How trite, such zealous devotion wasted on someone who won't even look your way. Juleka: (Looms more intensely, nails screeching as she scratched the wall) You would never understand the lengths someone would go for love, unrequited or not.

But Chloe did understand, she understood all to well.

Juleka nearly stepped back on instict as Chloe lolled forward, somehting strange in her smile that was no longer quiet as cruel and her eyes shimmering.

"But I do know. I know the endless toil and bottomless depths the quest for love sends one to."

Chloe stepped forward and pressed against her, meeting Juleka's stunned gaze as she slowly started to rise, whispering.

"I know how it burns when the target was too high to so much as touch, to even see the one steeped in their shadow..."

There was a dizzying, confounding moment where Juleka thought Chloe was going to try and kiss her. But the blonde stopped, rolling back on her feet, she added.

"Don't worry, I won't take that kiss from you. But in time, you'll want me to and until then, I'll leave your little rose be."

With that, the girl pivoted and strode away, stopping at the door to send her w winsome smirk, "See you in lass, Juleka~" her name rolled off the blonde's lips with a strangely sultry lilt before the door closed.

There were frankly, far too many thoughts circling Juleka's head in that moment, pride at having spoken with such strength, relief that Rose would be insulated from Chloe's cruelty. Dizzying confusion at the blonde seemingly... Flirting... With her!?!

But somehow what stood out was the fact, this was the first time Chloe had ever used her first name.

_________________________________

Beyond that, I low key imagine Chloe making a very Chloe like apology to Rose. Mostly so she can be around Juleka without tension.

Which basically means badgering ALi's assistant into letting him stay longer & inviting both he & Rose as his plus one to some event. Passing the tickets onto Rose with a sort of, "Clearly my critical eye erred to not see the wuality of your letter."

Which mostly leaves Rose ??? Cos is that an apology, a concession, a what? But she takes the tickets & has a grand time so she guesses they're chill now. Weirdly Chloe almost seems to want to hang out even?

Juleka has no way to explain why she thinks this came about. Where to even begin?

Also she patches things up with Adrien, for a given value of needing to.

She also wants his advice on pursuing intense, dark haired girls who seem both shy but capable of incredible violence but who aren't into them.

Adrien: How did you figure out I'm Chat Noir? Chloe: (Play it cool, play it cool, play it cool!)

Not sure if that's "canon" but I do find the idea funny XD Also she's pursuing Juleka as intensely as she is in part cos of the "Matches my freak" aspect. But also cos she's like... Super duper gay. Like compare & contrast her rather minimal efforts to flirt with Adrien VS how she throws herself at Ladybug. She's definitely going higher with Juleka than she would with Adrien at the very least XD

Ok first of all thanks for sharing this with!!!!

Second of all, I love everything about it!!!!

Also I love chloe being all dramatic and theatrical, she grew up with adrien and felix, now I just wonder who was the one eho influenced the others.

And yep I cam imagine everyone being confues as hell but I think rose would just accept it, maybe she will think she power of friendship and love finally reached her, or that voodo ritual she did with a unicorn plushies actually worked and juleka doesn't say anything about ehat hapoened because she is half sure it was an hallucination the first time, I kinfa imagine juleka being is almost denial, thinking an akuma took Chloe's place because she can't be in love woth juleka(it would just be funny but likely to last very shortly).

Also yeah, chloe is the gayest person ever, she has fallen hard, juleka is a hot goth girl after all.

And god adrien!!!!!! I imagined plagg face palmed and cursed a lot, that or laughed loufly and came out so he could help chloe(god if those two meet it is going to be hell)

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Personally, I've been curious about your eldritch au you've mentioned once or twice... but that might be because I'm a Duckett for that kind of stuff lol

Ah, no worries! I don't mind answering any questions you have!

So, for the 👾Eldritch AU, let's pick X-Men Evolution as the chosen media. The adults are way older than the kids, for one thing. Victor and Logan would be the oldest, but instead of being about 200 years old like in canon, in this they would be closer to something 200,000,000 years old. The other adults would likely range between 160,000,000 to 20,000,000 years old. Very old, older than most countries, and definitely older than the kids combined.

Now, for the teens and Reader, they are, well... pretty close to baby eldritch beings. They still appear mostly human, but for the teens, they are more in-tune with their powers, and have the adults to protect them and raise them (the adults view them as very young. Wouldn't leave them anywhere near humans unless those humans are their cults, followers, or harmless/powerless to them. You can bet that Logan and Ororo are Team Dad and Mom, with Xavier as kindly Grandfather and Hank as the polite, secretly fun Uncle/Dad. Magneto and Mystique are better parents in this au, but are very, very protective. Victor is still mostly himself, but has a soft spot for some of the kids...

Now, about the Reader: They aren't aware they are a baby elder god. They weren't aware those were real, or that there would even be others... They know they are... odd..., but they figure it is just an illness. A hallucination. Their dreams are even stranger, of things they've never seen before and beings that border between human and beast and element and who knows what else, whispers of things they never remember when they wake up. Yet one day, they end up moved into a small town, between New York and Canada, and realize this town they're in is... weird. Unsettling levels of weird. People act strange... sharp grins, manic eyes, and strange beliefs of local monsters and spirits, it seems...

It doesn't take long for the adults to realize that the new human isn't a human at all. It's a baby of their kind. And they're quite pleased. One thing they've done is send dreams and visions to any eldritch beings out there, a beacon to bring them closer to their home... It acts as a way of drawing in the baby eldritches, so the adults can offer protection (and a town full of over-protective and over-zealous humans, to act as guards and sometimes food/sacrifices, if needed/wanted). Of course, trying to get Reader to one of their altars, somewhere they can make their claim over them, is easier said than done. They're a rather skittish kid, and anything pertaining to what they are or the horrors of the town are like repellant to them. Yet, their kids are determined... They have wanted a new friend (and maybe sibling), for awhile, and the Reader looks like a good fit to them. A new personality, and someone they have to work for to keep. And Reader slowly befriends them, albeit thinking they are a little odd... but, the teens aren't anywhere near as creepy or stilted as anyone else in that sleepy town, so if for once someone wants to be their friend, they'll try...

When one of the adults is finally able to draw Reader out to one of their altars (by a dream/hallucination that has them not realizing where they're going), they're ready to introduce themselves properly this time. They have met before, in their human guise, but never as they truly are... And it's about time to explain what they are, and what Reader is... The moment Reader realizes they are in the woods in the dead of night, they're freaked out. Only for something, something they've only ever seen in their dreams, to appear... Then they promptly run.

The adult/s is/are able to stop them, but not after chasing them half-way back to the Reader's house by the edge of the woods and town... Being able to finally slow them down leaves their newest kid a trembling mess, one who really does look like the young eldritch child they are... Explaining what they are doesn't take too much effort, and Reader is now gifted answers, some they definitely didn't want. When they try to leave, asking if things can go back to normal, well... they are met with a big NO. The adult/s want to make a claim, to have Reader as THEIR kid... and they are unswerving in that goal...

So now Reader has to deal with the knowledge of what the town truly is, that their friends and their parents/guardians are something beyond comprehension, and that they're not able to leave, no matter what they do... The adult/s do go about settling them in, yet have to more times than not ... sedate... their newest child. They're gentle, but they also realize this one kid in particular is stubborn about not staying, of being scared of them, of the safe haven they've made... But, it isn't much issue to keep them close... Some love and care will do them good, along with whatever powers they can use to calm them...

It is what any parent would do for their baby...

(The teens and Reader do still get along, agreeing that the adults can be over-protective. However, the teens are okay with their parents/guardians for the most part and having Reader with them, while Reader is... not okay with it. Cuddling between the adults and kids happens. Whether in human form or eldritch deity form...)

(I hope you enjoyed this! Ask anymore questions you want, and have an awesome day!💛😊)

[imperator-kahlo]

TLOU 2x04 - "Day One" - First Watch

This is going to be a short one! I finished this episode with a nice satisfied feeling. No big structural changes from the game that I need to unpack a bit for myself, no obviously loose thematic threads to tug on. I'm half inclined to not write anything at all, but I like to get down my own thoughts before I start seeing everybody else's.

Ellie and Dina

For my money, this was well worth the wait. This moment, when Ellie reveals her immunity, was always going to play differently in the show, because without spores, there's no way for Ellie to immediately prove to Dina that she's not infected. And we know that, when dealing with infected, the possibility of shooting your friend in the face is top of mind for everyone in Jackson.

So they both make these big expressions of love and trust in one another: Ellie saves Dina's life without hesitation, even though it means revealing this big, dangerous secret. Dina trusts Ellie enough to do the stupid thing, the thing you never, ever do: wait and see if the infection will take.

And then Dina, awake all night, wrecked with stress, grief, panic, and the potential loss of this future she'd hardly given herself permission to hope for, is finally able to just be honest with herself and Ellie. I love it. I love everything about it. I'm going to be really controversial and say that I like it better than the library scene.

Isaac, Wolves, Seraphites

I like what they're doing here. I don't want to draw any real conclusions until we've seen more, but my sense is that the writers are at least trying to correct some of the more problematic elements of the game.

In the game, we meet the Seraphites last, and the only sympathetic members of that faction are fleeing its persecution. The Scars aren't humanised to remotely the same extent that the Wolves are, and there are troubling parallels drawn to Palestinian resistance movements. In the show, we meet the Seraphites in 2x03, before we meet the main force of the Wolves. They're framed sympathetically, as refugees fleeing war, gunned down by the WLF—who we're already primed to hate because of Abby's actions. The next Seraphite we meet is a torture victim.

So when we come across the mutilated bodies at the news station, we have some context for it. It's harder to immediately assume that they're just a bloodthirsty, zealous cult. I think they're going to add a bit of much-needed nuance to the war in Seattle, and I appreciate that.

(I think some of the problematic politics of TLOU, and probably especially the liberal Zionism, are sort of baked in, and there's only so much they can do to fix it. At some point I'll type up my long rant about why I hate the whole "cycles of violence" thing, or at least how I've heard Druckmann talk about it, but not today.)

As for Isaac: I mentioned in my post about 2x03 that I was interested to see how they reconciled Isaac's code, or at least Abby's understanding of it, with Isaac's little torture camp. Based on this episode, I think the point is going to be that Isaac's code applies only to people, and he doesn't see Scars as people.

Heavy sigh. This feels a smidge heavy handed and simplistic to me, but I'm willing to see what happens. Jeffrey Wright is incredibly compelling, as was the peek at his back story in the cold open, so I'm along for the ride.

Misc

I find the subway sequence in the game to be genuinely quite harrowing, and I thought they did a great job of reproducing that feeling in a very tight few minutes screen time.

Kind of a shame to not get to see Dina's badassery at Eastbrook Elementary, but I think they've done a very good job of showing both that Dina's incredibly competent and that Dina and Ellie fight very well as a unit.

Overall, very solid episode imo.

"Going to be a short one," indeed. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Edit: added two screenshots from 2x04

[rainbowolfe]

Reanalyzing the 4 Horsemen

Was thinking about the very explicit reference to Kaos/Khaos when talking about the creation and writing of "CHAOS", because it's not the first time Cult of the Lamb has referenced Greek mythos. And for them to specifically have Netflix's Kaos on their mind is extra interesting. That aside,

I was looking into re-interpreting the four horseman thing since it's clear that Shamura is being presented as Conquest, and not War. Shout out to that retcon. And there actually is a Greek interpretation of these harbingers of the apocalypse.

Zelus on the white horse (Conquest), Ares on the red horse (War), Limos on the black horse (Famine), and Thanatos on the pale horse (Death) accompanied by Hades or Orcus.

and my guys, it is once again sounding like Shamura's the Fanatic. That's so fucking funny. Like wdym their Crown is the embodiment of zeal? We're just putting that out there? Casually? Zelus. Zealous? Zealous was theirs? I'm having my "Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond" moment. And Wdym Zelus' roman equivalent is Envy? [the 7 Deadly Sins play a role in the Sins of the Flesh.]

Zelus. A daemon of conquest and glory. He was the personification of zeal, dedication, emulation, envy, rivalry, and jealousy. The offspring of Pallas (a titan; God of Warcraft) and Styx (Goddess of Oaths).

Ares. An Olympian and a God of War, born from Zeus and Hera and married to Aphrodite, who regularly cheats on him. Their child of note is Eros (aka Cupid). Here he bears Pestilence.

This technically works because Ares' name means both "War" and "Bane". We have "Bane Weapons" in the game, which are associated with poison and by extension, disease/sickness. It also works because "Pestilence" was always something invoked by Conquest, instead of it's own stand-alone horseman, like pop culture would suggest. In this case, either Zelus or Ares could be invoking Pestilence for (additional) help. ((Me thinks the 'help' didn't end up being that helpful))

Limos. They're depicted as both a personification and a deity of famine. Spawned from Eris (Strife), their name translates to "Famine", "Hunger", or "Starvation". They don't really have much going on for them myth-wise, but they're considered to be Demeter's counterpart. In some myths, Eris is Ares' sister, which would make Limos his niece/nephew. They're known for being an enemy of the gods and a 'housemate'. In the sense that she manifests/resides inside the home.

Thanatos. Death himself. Merciless and indiscriminate. Born from Nyx (The Night) along with a whole buffet of siblings. There's only one of note: Hypnos, his twin brother. Both are terrible, shunned by the sun itself (aka The Light, lmao). Hypnos is known for being peaceful, but Thanatos is known for his mercilessness.

All the gods hate him, and he's hateful towards gods and mortals alike. Though originally associated with bloodshed, he eventually became associated with specifically peaceful deaths. In this transition, his appearance began to resemble that of Eros. His sister(s?) the Keres became known for bloodshed.

It's interesting that there's technically only one God in this group, depending on how you interpret "Hades"/"Orcus". Both of those refer to the actual god, but also the underworld as a whole. Some interpretations depict it as the souls and denizens of the underworld emerging as an army.

Ares, a particularly disliked God, and three daemons (Lesser Gods). Two of which are also pretty disliked lol. I suppose the equivalent to daemons here would be vessels? Or something. Gods that haven't yet ascended. (Think like Hercules or Dionysus)

Gotta loop back around to Pestilence now. What I believe is happening in-universe is that beasts just call him that, even though that's not what he is. It's just the name that became popular. The inspiration here has been heavily Greek, and the Greek translation never actually uses the word 'pestilence'.

"[...] and was given to them authority over the fourth of the Earth to kill with Sword and with Famine [Limos] and with Death [Thanatos] and by the beasts of the Earth."

Emphasis here on the sword. 'By sword, by dagger, by staff.'

In Hebrew, the term translates to "destruction", "corruption", or "ruin". Which can include a plague, but isn't limited to it. Pestilence's actual name has been forgotten to time. Though it was probably War. He brought ruin and corruption via Sword. Leaving "the beasts of the Earth" aka Chaos for Conquest (the other thing the first horseman is said to invoke).

Finally, each horseman also has an associated planet (aka Roman God). In order, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn. There is explicit mention of Mercury in-game (Neptune too).

And it very much seems like Shamura and Kallamar switched Crowns at some point. Or they unofficially swapped domains in the public conscious. Two Gods of War. One who is revered (Mars), the other who is ridiculed (Ares).

SO. In summary:

Horseman: Conquest [Zelus] Associated Color: Magenta Crown Color: Purple Horse Color: White Planet: Mercury [Hermes] Relevant Theme: Zealous Associated With: Shamura

Horseman: Pestilence [Ares] Associated Color: Cyan Crown Color: Blue Horse Color: Red Planet: Mars [Ares lol] Relevant Theme: Bane/Godly Associated With: Kallamar

Horseman: Famine [Limos] Associated Color: Yellow and Orange Crown Color: Yellow Horse Color: Black Planet: Jupiter [Zeus] Relevant Theme: Vampiric Associated With: Heket

Horseman: Death [Thanatos] and Chaos [Khaos] Associated Color: Pink* and Yellow-Green Crown Color: Red and Green* Horse Color: "Pale" (depicted as yellow, green, or greyish)  Planet: Saturn [Cronus] Relevant Theme: Necromantic and Merciless Associated With: Narinder and Leshy

Let's talk about what horses mean... ~symbolically~

There's a distinct lack of horses, if you hadn't already noticed. And their absence is critical because, without them, they're not really the four Horsemen. Just the four Men. So if not physical horses they rode in on, then something else had to have acted as their 'vehicles'.

Overall, horses are linked to nature personified, water, sexuality, dreams, parentage, and divination. They're inherently associated with freedom and war. They empower the rider to dominate the earth and man alike. They're described as "eager and well-suited for war and carnage."

The 'horses' could be the four elements: Air, Fire, Earth, and Water (in that order). These elements can then be ascribed to the different types of gods in the Greek/Roman Pantheon. Air for the sky gods, Fire for the underworld gods, Earth for the rustic/agrarian gods, and Water for the sea gods.

Zelus from the sky, Ares from the underworld, Limos from the earth, and Thanatos from the sea.

I think the essential part here is that the horses represent what brought them to the "battlefield", whether it be a specific person or certain circumstances.

Lowkey, I do think the mother metaphor is on the right track. (The mother is the horse, and the offspring the rider). The "seal" is broken (her water breaks) and "summons" (she births) the world-ending entity that "rode into the world" via her womb.

Alternatively, the "horses" are gods who were responsible for carrying the souls of the deceased from one place to another—psychopomps. Under this interpretation, horses are associated with water, which is seen as the boundary between the two worlds. Meaning four gods came from the ocean (afterlife?) carrying the apocalypse bringers.

...and we do get tasked to fetch four things out the ocean. I discuss this ~extensively~ here and here.

Now I'm on a tangent, but I can't help but to make note of something. While reading about horses, there was a section on centaurs in regards to the bond between horse and rider. I've made the observation before that Shamura's Eldritch Form is built like a centaur. They are still themselves with their transformation manifesting mostly separately. Compare that to Leshy and Heket, who go through a complete metamorphosis.

Centaurs are "the perfect coupling between instinct and reason, between intelligence and brute force". The horse gives physical strength and speed the rider cannot attain on their own; the rider cares for the horse and gives it fortitude—horses are prey after all, their nature is to be fearful. They have to overcome instinct (nature) with their mind (will). And a bit of affection.

The horse and the rider are one. "If there is conflict between the two, the horse's race leads to madness and death, but if there is agreement, the race is triumphant."

Making Shamura, potentially, exactly that. Two forces that aren't working together.

[twisted-kratts]

Now that my WK Villain OC's are out of the way, what do you think of my WK Allies OC's?

Michael Pyrceham - similar to Aviva and Koki in that he is heavily science and tech savvy and similar to Jimmy in that he does like to play out video games. He has a Tony Stark style intellect, despite him a middle-low class family, able to turn pieces of scrap into functional machines.

Faith Sunwalker - the team's medical expert and veterinarian. She is kind and gentle, having a strong set of morals and very zealous about the Hippocratic Oath, even if said zeal gets her into trouble sometimes. Because she comes from a Navajo reservation in Nevada, she does have extensive knowledge of various Native American histories, mythologies, and traditions.

Z3K3 and J3RR1 - robots that Michael and Faith both made together during their shared college tenures, they help both them and the rest of the Wild Kratts crew in any way they can, even if it means doing field work with the Kratt Brothers and helping Aviva with experiments. Z3K3 is the only one who speaks fluently while J3RR1 can only speak through memes and references from various movies, TV shows, video games, and audiobooks.

Let's do this cracks my knuckles and regrets it immediately

About Michael Abigal: "Oh we could get along, but I doubt we would currently unless I listen to ethics (never) or he stops listening to them which probably won't happen" Kita: "Seems chill I guess but eh I do wonder what secrets he got in that head of his" Charles: ". . .Do I care not really" Mateo: "Come on Charles, I think his stuff is neat" JT: "He's probably less likely to make some strange thing that horrifies most people" Abigal: "The last one didn't try to eat someone that's progress"

About Faith Abigal: "Oh she's like an ethics committee, ignorable" Kita: "Oh a goody two shoes, huh, yeah me and her won't get along ever" Charles: "She's probably too annoying when it comes to patching someone up, but I respect her knowledge of where she's from" Mateo: "Oh she sounds nice, if not a bit much I guess" JT: "She has skills, but the zealous part will probably be an issue, I'm sure I'm better than her in the medical part, especially when dealing with these maniacs"

About Z3K3 and J3RR1 Abigal: "Oh my interest is piqued and I wish to see how these work, heck I might even fix the issue with the other one" Kita: "I wonder if they recorded anything interesting in their memories. . .Hey, Charles what do you think of the l33T speak robot!" Charles: "Any artificial thing made by humans is a waste of time and energy that you could do with anything else with said time and energy" Kita: Sounds about right for youMateo: "I find the one who speaks in memes pretty funny" JT: "Seriously you have one that speaks like movie bumblebee from Transformers"

Overall thoughts Abigal: "I think i'd have fun dealing with Z3K3 and J3RR1 hehe" Kita: "I guess they might have something interesting to look into but eh" Charles: "I don't generally care for them" Mateo: "I think they'd be cool to hang with. . .not much else after" JT: "They're skilled and helping a version of our counterparts, I would be rather pleased to work with them if things aligned but no and I'm fine with that"

[chaosandcrimson]

no way is that DELILAH BOWEN.. they're a 26-year-old HUMAN notoriously known for being LAZY & BLUNT but there are some people who have seen them being CLEVER & ENTERTAINING. if you ask me, they remind me a lot of wornout notebooks filled with song lyrics, the sound of roaring laughter, and the ability to turn anything into a joke, but that could just be because they're considered the BRILLIANT BUT LAZY around town. just keep an eye on them & see if their true colors shine through..

She looks at life like it's a party and she's on the list She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it I think her ever present frown is a little troubling She thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things

OVERVIEW

Name: Delilah Eloise Bowen

Nickname(s): Lila (by family), Del

DOB: October 18, 2098

Age: 26

FC: Daisy Edgar-Jones

Height: 5'7"

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Pansexual

Occupation: Lyricist / MC at The Punch Line

Relationship Status: Single (Open)

[+] clever, entertaining, zealous [–] lazy, blunt, uncaring

BIOGRAPHY

Delilah likes to joke that she was definitely an accident considering the large age gap between her and her older siblings. She's pretty sure that's actually true, which in her opinion makes the joke even funnier than it already is, and not less.

She spent her entire childhood and adolescence, from elementary school all the way through to high school, being told by every single teacher that she would ace their class if she simply applied herself. It never fazed her, and it never changed her behaviour. She was definitely lazy, but not because she lacked ambition; she was simply very selective about her interests, and couldn't be bothered with anything that she didn't care about. She did not care about school.

What she did care about was applying herself creatively. She had always had a way with words, which over the years translated into a number of unpublished short stories, a lot of personal poetry, and a slew of comedic rants she posted online because she thought it would make other people laugh. It did, which only encouraged her to continue experimenting with humour and entertainment.

It was when she added the element of performance that things really clicked. Writing and playing comedic music brought together everything she enjoyed doing, and she saw some success with that, even if it was only locally.

Despite being a lacklustre student, she was able to ride that small amount of success all the way into college on a partial scholarship. She worked part-time bussing tables and bartending at a local comedy club to make up the rest.

It was in college that she met two of her best friends, Sylvan and Orpheus, and eventually started writing a musical with them. She was the lyricist, Sylvan was the composer, and Orpheus was the person who actually understood how stage productions worked. They're still working on it, in spite of the fact that Orpheus eventually had to drop out of the project due to other commitments.

After college, she continued working and performing at the comedy club, eventually becoming the resident MC. She is known for bringing her guitar on stage and writing impromptu verses to roast audience members with. She has definitely gotten in trouble for accidentally taking it too far, but she isn't trying to be offensive, and she can usually acknowledge when she's crossed a line.

Growing up, she never seemed to care what other people thought of her, but that isn't strictly true. It is accurate that she doesn't particularly value the opinions of people whom she herself has a negative or neutral opinion of. But if you're close to her? Yeah, she cares what you think, even if she very rarely shows it.

MISC

She has a tattoo of an apple on her wrist. It's a reference to the song Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's, which many people have tried to use to annoy her, to absolutely no avail. She fucking loves that song.

[autisticsupervillain]

It's Fictional Throwdown Friday!

This Week's Fighters...

The Terrarian vs Paper Mario!

Conditions:

Mario has absolutely everything except for the Pure Hearts. Terrarian has everything. Speed Equalized.

Scenario:

The Terrarian intends to steal the Crystal Stars to use them to make a new weapons set. Mario stands in his way.

Analysis: The Terrarian

The land of Terraria, despite it's unassuming exterior, is a chaotic and dangerous one. The universe was created as an experiment by the Gods, a test to see if some form of cosmic balance could be maintained. However this balance was threatened by the dread god Cthulhu, who sought to bring all of Terraria under his domain. Luckily, the ancient race known as the Dryiads were able to overpower the dark lord, fighting it to the very last man and crippling him irreversibly. This forced Cthulhu to retreat to the dark side of the moon, where it would attempt yo regain its strength to one day attempt to conquer the world once more.

That day was soon to be fast approaching as a cult arose, seeking to revive Cthulhu and bring his horrible reign down upon all. That is when our hero enters this story: The Terrarian themselves. They were a simple nobody of unknown origins until the mysterious guide appeared before them one day and sent them off on their quest to prevent Cthulhu's return.

And luckily for all of us, The Terrarian has many.... many.... many tools on hand to help them fight the forces of darkness. This dude has more armors than Tony fucking Stark, each of which designed to help them combat that numerous beasts infesting Terraria.

Every armor and weapon at their disposal bolsters their already superhuman strength to some degree, which says a lot when they're capable of killing ghosts and blasting zombies into big meaty chunks with just their bare hands. Many of their armors, as well as their healing items such as potions, campfires, and statues, can speed up their regeneration, which is already good enough to help them recover from having their face ripped off. On top of that, many of their armors allow them to duplicate ammunition, allowing them to mow you down with their variety of gattling guns and magical crossbows with complete impunity. And if that wasn't bad enough, their most powerful armors can increase their capacity to summon minions as well as allow them to turn invisible.

On the topic of said summons, they're completely intangible, unable to be harmed even by those who can kill ghosts and effect souls. This is especially problematic when you have to deal with all the other things the Terrarian's magic can do. They can make it rain damaging blood from the sky, bring down small meteors just by swinging their sword, can freely teleport just about anywhere is sight or teleport all the way back to their base, and even nullify your ability to heal from it all. Their ranged weapons are equally deadly, capable of shooting poisonous projectiles, intangible projects (that go straight through everything that isn't you), giant fucking lasers, the works. Really it'd be easier to list all the ways the Terrarian can't kill you.

I don't think that the Terrarian wouldn't be willing to use this on you either. They can be shockingly ruthless in the pursuit of their goals. For example, they were perfectly willingly to permanently sacrifice their Guide's life to get a shot at killing the Wall of Flesh, unleashing the spirits of Light and Dark and causing untold chaos in the process. Hell, they even helped hasten Cthulhu's return just so they could kill it themselves and solve the problem for good. So you can fully expect some ruthless tactics out of them. Magically enducing confusion in you to get an opening? Check. Sucking out your very life force until you're nothing but a dead and empty husk? Sure thing. Spraying you with a weapon that corrupts you into a mindless servant of the all consuming Crimson, omnicidal Corruption, or over zealous Hallow right down to your very soul? Yes, they'd do that.

And good fucking luck retaliating properly, even assuming you could hit someone who can fly, teleport, and turn invisible at whim, their numerous charms and armors grant them resistances to poison, mind control, fire, ice, and many, many more. Hell, they can even resist your ability yo nullify said resistances with the right gear. And if that's not good enough, they can even transform themselves at will into a form that gives them a better advantage, such as a merfolk who can breath underwater or a werewolf with increased strength at night.

Even with all this at their disposal, the Terrarian does have some considerable weaknesses. That being that a lot of their stuff relies on their gear. If you take that away, you'd be left with an incredibly experienced and skilled fighter... but that's about it.

Having said that, they're still an underdog ehen compared to their competition. The Terrarian builds nearly all their gear themselves and has used it to slaughter entire armies and even outright gods in the span of a single night. For example, the Celestial Towers that sealed away the Moon Lord (Cthulhu), are powerful enough to pull the moon closer to the Earth in the span of seconds. The kinetic energy generated would measure out to 152.98 Ninatons of tnt, or 9x more than the energy needed to destroy the Dwarf Star OTS 44.

Source:

And keep in mind, this isn't even the Terrarian at their peak. They would later fight against the same Mokn Lord who was stated to be capable of destroying the entire realm of Terraria.

The loot they got from beating the Moon Lord is even stronger still. When you're powerful enough to beat gods who can destroy stars, you're powerful enough to do damn near anything. The Terrarian is far more than a simple Minecraft clone. They're in a league all of their own.

Analysis: Paper Mario

Mario "Jumpman" Mario. You know who he is and what he does. Even if you've never touched one of his games, you probably know everything about Mr. Video Game. This humble plumber has risen high ever since his humble days chasing after Donkey Kong Sr. Being basically the only competent form of security that the peaceful Mushroom Kingdom has, Mario has rescued its resudents and princess from the clutches of the nefarious Bowser countless times. But some of his adventures are a bit.... craftier than others.

For the sake of this analysis specifically, I'm treating Mario and Paper Mario has two distinct entities. While Nintendo has gone a bit back and forth in the past as to whether or not Mario and Paper Mario are the same guy, with several games in both series referencing the events of each other's games as canon while at other times treating the two as completely distinct entities, so really, you're fair to read them either way. Mario has about as much continuity as Tom and Jerry most days anyways, so for the sake of fairness, I'll be limiting Mr. Jumpman to his arts and crafts arsenal today. Even when treated distinctly, Mario and Paper Mario should powerscale off each other in stats regardless, because Paper Jam is a game that exists.

Not that being two dimensional has made Mario's arsenal any less vast. The usual arrangement of hammers, fire flowers, and mushrooms with various effects are all here and accounted for. Paper Mario is just as capable of making big jumps as his three dimensional counterpart and has saved his version of Peach just about as often. And what's unique in Paper Mario's arsenal is often times uniquely devastating.

Mario's papery proportions allow him to move in unique ways. He can flip between 3-d and 2-d to avoid attacks and reach otherwise impossible areas and he's been "cursed" with all manor of shapeshifting abilities, from the power to turn into a paper plane and soar through the sky to the power to the ability to turn into a paper boat to crosd the sea! Mario can breath in the vacuum of space (except for when he can't) and survive space radiations completely unprotected.

Moreover, Mario's inventory is versatile and deadly. The mega star can make him grow absolutely gigantic and let him plow through everything in sight, while his Pixl allies give him a whole host of powers. Tippi analyzes his enemies for him, giving him advice and informing him of their stats, Barry creates, well, barriers to protect Mario from threats, Carrie turns into a floating platform to carry Mario and pals out of danger, and Thoreau lets him pick up and throw enemies and objects over twice his size, among many others.

Over the course of his first adventure, Mario would rescue the seven Star Spirits, allowing him to overcome Bowser's wish granting star rod and nullify his invincibility. Mamar sings a song to put enemies to sleep, Skolar rains down stars from the sky, Muskular decreases the enemy's strength, Misstar restores his health, Klevar stops time, and Kalmar transmutes the enemies into stars. The Crystal Stars can give many of the same abilities, on top of powers such as creating Earthquakes and sealing away beings as powerful as the Shadow Queen, who could cause earthquakes all over the world and covered the world in darkness.

Yet, despite all that variety, Mario's most powerful and arguably strangest ability comes in the form of things. Real life objects of incredible power that can be used to absorb and redirect poisons, melt entire mountains, and even spin the entire planet! Such a feat, if performed on Paper Mario's world, would generate a kinetic energy equivalent to 154 exatons of TNT. That's enough to shatter the moon!

Source:

And that's on top of being considered equal to his mainline counterpart. The same Mario whose power stars can create galaxies, who could survive the universe being reset, and defeated the Megabug, a dimensional instability that was going to destroy Mario's entire dimension.

2-d or 3-d, Mario is one of most powerful video game characters Nintendo has ever created. No matter what side series he hails from, Mario is the mascot for a reason.

Throwdown Theme:

Throwdown Breakdown:

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. This is a big one.

The arsenal on both of these combatants is absolutely massive. I don't think I even touched on half of it in either of their run downs. And both of them have ways of killing each other right out the gate. The Terrarian could always just corrupt Mario into a unicorn, but Mario can just as easily turn the Terrarian into stars. As video game characters controlled by the player, neither side really has a go to openinh move in combat, so determining who wins the quick draw is difficult. And that's on top of all the abilities that just counter out, like flight, because they both have several ways of doing it.

On one hand, Mario cannot destroy or guard against the Terrarian's summons, as even people who can punch ghosts to death bare handed can't touch them, meaning Mario's ability to fight Boos wouldn't help and he'd be getting harassed all fight. On the other hand, Mario's ability to shift between two and three dimensions would provide a similar level of Intangibility, as Terrarian has never shown to hit a foe who becomes incorporeal in such a manor. On the third hand, Terrarian has even more ranged options, with a huge plethore of guns, bows, and magic staffs, whereas Mario heavily relies on either massive Area of Effect attacks or attacks that are relatively close range.

Both of these combatants can either defeat beings who or are comparable to beings who can defeat people who can threaten to destroy the entire universe, so there's no considerable gap in power. Any attempts to buff or debuff stats would get swiftly countered out anyways by potions and power ups.

So what's the deciding factor here? Well, there's a few things that work in Mario's favor here.

1. Unpredictability. As vast as the Terrarian's arsenal is, all their weapons are at least things that look like weapons at first glance. Mario, meanwhile, can just summon a giant chicken or stop time with a stop watch, or spin the Earth with a fan and you don't know which until he does it.

2. Analysis. Tippi is going to be able to give Mario a tip that the Terrarian is very dangerous and very versatile, cluing him in to the fact that he should open up with a winning move first, while Terrarian is going in blind.

From there, Mario could just stop time or put Terrarian to sleep before turning them into stars. While Terrarian could just as easily open up with an instant win move, they both wouldn't know to do so and would have no way of predicting Mario's arsenal because of how out there it is.

As versatile as these two god killers are, Mario is just that little bit... craftier.

This Throwdown's Winner is....

Paper Mario!

[bjfinn]

THE HORNED ONE

An origin story for the leader of the Knights Who Say "Ni", for @foxden-frontier & @honeydewtreacle -- thanks for the headcanons!

And now for something completely different ...

Neil fell to his knees and pitched forward, stopping his fall with his hands, fighting for breath, as the curse ripped through his body, breaking bones, twisting muscles, snapping ligaments and tendons. A ragged scream escaped him -- it was barely a whisper. He collapsed to the ground, writhing in agony, his clothing tattered ruins.

Tim the Enchanter laughed sadistically. "That'll teach you to steal my eggs!"

"I ... didn't ... know ..." Neil began.

"Ignorance is no defence!"

"No," Neil agreed. His voice was steadier now, the transformation almost complete. "No, it isn't." Slowly, he got to his feet. "But ... maybe you should keep your chickens in a bloody chicken coop -- instead of letting them run around the forest laying eggs anywhere they bloody WANT!!! "

Tim backed away in terror -- his spell had worked, but he hadn't planned on this. The being that stood before him was absolutely huge -- nearly twice the height of the man it had been.

"Please!" Tim cried. "Please don't hurt me!"

"I should do," came the reply. "After all, you hurt me. But I've never believed in violence -- I'm a pacifist." He looked down at the Enchanter. "I ... I just have one question."

"O-of course," Tim said, nodding frantically. "What is it? What do you desire to know? If it is within my power to answer your --"

"What am I?" the giant asked. "What did you turn me into? And why am I so bloody tall? "

"Ermm ... that's two questions, actually." The monster took a shaky step toward him, and Tim fell, landing on his arse, and hurriedly scuttled backwards. "Of .. of course -- of course, they're related questions. Intimately related, one might say. Really, it's a two-part question -- and a very good question. Quite a reasonable thing to ask, if I may say --"

Neil glowered at the sorcerer.

"Where was I?" Tim said. "Ah, yes -- your question! Well, erm ... you're ... a faun."

"A faun?" The giant looked at Tim, perplexed. "Why would you turn me into a faun? I mean, there are so many much worse things you could have made me -- you could have turned me into a ..." He thought for a brief moment, and then a smile lit up his face. "A chicken! You could have turned me into one of your chickens to replace the eggs I stole. That would make much more sense than turning me into a faun! "

Tim nodded, frowning. "You're right," he said. "Why didn't I think of that? Ah, well ... it's too late now, I suppose. You're a faun, and a faun you shall remain."

"Right," Neil said. "Well, fair enough -- but that doesn't answer the other question."

"The ... other question?"

"Why am I so tall?"

"Ah," Tim said. "Yes, well ... erm ... I suppose ... I suppose I may have been a little too, erm ... zealous. Put a tad too much oomph into the spell, so to speak. Went a bit overboard, I'm afraid ..." He coughed, embarrassed. "Sorry about that, old chap."

"Can you ... shrink me down? Make me normal sized?"

Tim shook his head. "Erm ... I'm afraid not," he replied. "Once a spell is complete, it -- it can't be altered. Sorry," he said again.

"Ah. All right -- I suppose there's nothing for it, then. I suppose I'll just ... go live in the forest, shall I? Be one with nature, as they say." He clapped his hands together. "Right. Well, toodle-oo! Pip-pip and cheerio and all that!"

And with that, the giant faun that had once been a human turned and headed into the forest.

Tim watched him go, shaking his head. "I really should learn to be more careful," he said to himself, and started back home.

*****

Neil took a deep breath and looked around himself. "I suppose the first thing to do would be to find someplace to live."

Fortunately, he already knew the forest quite well. Being a peasant farmer had never really worked out for him -- he couldn't manage to grow anything worth eating, and he wasn't able to get his chickens to lay enough eggs, nor his cow to give enough milk. His only recourse had been foraging (no hunting -- he was a vegetarian), and he'd come to know the forest like the back of his hand.

He looked at the backs of his hand, flexing the fingers. "Well, that's not true any more," he said. "Just look at all this hair!" He looked down at his body -- a thick mat of light brown fur covered his previously hairless chest and trailed down his belly to meet up with the fur below his waist. His legs, which had always been strong, now were like those of an elk, covered in the same light brown fur and ending in black cloven hooves.

All in all, he wasn't entirely displeased with the transformation -- better a faun than a chicken. Or a ... a worm, or something.

"Right," he said. "Shelter first, then food, then ... Oh, I don't know. Do fauns wear clothes? I suppose I should have something for the winter, at least. But there's time enough for that."

He continued through the forest, his gait becoming steadier with every step.

*****

"This looks promising," he said to himself. He'd discovered what looked like a small cave half-hidden among the roots of an enormous oak -- the question was would he be able to fit? If he were still human-sized, it wouldn't be a problem, but ...

After a bit of twisting, he managed to crawl into the cave. Well, actually ... he fell in, when one of the roots gave way under his weight. He landed on his back, the breath knocked out of him, looking up through the hole at the dappled sunlight.

The cave was bigger than he'd thought it would be -- quite roomy, in fact. Half a dozen humans could easily fit inside, so it was nice and cosy for a single giant faun. "Yes," he said, "I think this'll do nicely." He stood up and banged his ... what was on his head???

"I really must get a look at myself," he muttered.

He climbed out of the cave and started in the direction of a small pond he had often visited.

In short order he reached the pond. Nervously, he took a deep breath and leaned over to see his reflection.

His face hadn't changed, at least -- the scruffy beard, the brown eyes, the perfectly shaped nose ... he was still a handsome devil. He smiled -- his teeth were unchanged, as well. Suddenly he gasped in shock.

Growing out of the top of his head was a pair of magnificent antlers -- gently curved, and with two large branches each.

He hadn't expected that!

Still, the more he looked at them, the more he was all right with the idea. They were quite elegant, after all. Even ... distinguished, one might say.

*****

By the end of the week, he'd become accustomed to his new existence. He'd gotten used to walking on hooves instead of feet, he'd learned to turn his head to avoid getting his antlers caught in the branches of the trees ... There was only one thing that bothered him, though -- he'd begun to forget his own name.

"I know it starts with N," he muttered. "Norris? Nigel? Newton?" He sighed dejectedly. "Well, whatever it is, it's not me any more, is it? I suppose there's nothing for it but to give myself a new name." He thought long and hard about what sort of name a giant faun might have, but it was no use -- he couldn't think of anything.

"Hmm ... I'm a bit peckish," he said. Since embarking on his new life, he'd begun talking to himself quite a bit to stave off the loneliness. "Maybe just a nibble ...

"That's it! Nibble! " He frowned and shook his head. "No, that's the sort of name you'd give to a cute little bunny rabbit -- not a ten-foot-tall faun. But maybe ... Nib? " He rolled the name around his mouth for a bit. "Nib. Nib. Hello, my name is Nib -- nice to meet you. Nib's the name, and frolicking's the game."

He nodded slowly. "I think that'll do nicely."

*****

As the greens of summer gave way to the reds and golds of autumn, the weather grew cooler and it started becoming harder to find food. Nib knew he'd have to begin stocking up for the winter.

He gathered as much as he could -- acorns and hazelnuts and other such things, but he also began visiting the nearby farms in the middle of the night to steal a few potatoes, turnips or pumpkins, or a bag of wheat, oats or barley. He knew it was wrong, and if he were caught he'd likely be killed without so much as a "by your leave" -- he was a monster, after all, and as such not entitled to due process in a court of law -- but he had no choice in the matter. It was either steal or starve. Besides, he only took a little from each farm. And he made a promise to himself that he would compensate them as soon as he was able to do.

*****

It wasn't long before the people of the surrounding communities noticed that some of their vegetables and bags of grain were going missing in the night, of course, and they set up a night watch to try and catch the thief. But when the reports started coming in about a giant with antlers on its head, they became afraid.

"It be one of the old gods," they whispered. "What's his name -- the Horned One. We've been neglecting him."

And so they began setting out a portion of the harvest each evening for their mysterious visitor.

That first night, the sight of the table piled high with food surprised Nib. He drew closer -- they'd put up a sign that read "For the Horned One of the Forest".

Nib's eyes welled up, and the tears spilled down his cheeks. These people were willing to let him have a portion of their harvest simply out of the goodness of their hearts.

That's when Nib knew that everything would be all right.