#and who probably understand it the best (even if they dont understand it fully)
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alright, friends, i might say something you don't like but i think it's important. not just to defend a character, but because i think this is literally making people's experience and relationship with this game worse.
give jimmy like two seconds to exist.
by hating jimmy so much you refuse to even say his name, and judge real, living people for liking him, you are cheapening your experience by boiling down the main character to the most ~yuckiest~ moments. and, by not making a seperate space for hating on him, you are drowning out the voices of people who actually have nuanced things to say about his character. you know, the skilled writers and artists that feed the fandom? limitation is what kills fandoms, you have to know that.
is jimmy a good person? no. is he a good captain/companion/worker? Absolutely Not! he crumbles like dust under any pressure and he immediately shifts blame off of himself, he is an actively harmful individual and it's right to be upset by his actions. i literally had to stop myself from saying "man FUCK jimmy." multiple times because i didn't want to spoil how terrible he got to my friends when i showed the game to them.
but you have to understand; people are more than their actions. thats part of the entire point of the game. thats why its so abstract. you are meant to think about the nuances of their situation.
we can agree that anya was way more as a woman than what happened to her and what she did as a result of it, right? that despite her best efforts, she was a victim of circumstance, and she deserves to be understood and analyzed fully?
then why, seeing a fictional man who has done immoral things, are you so disgusted you won't even draw, write or discuss him outside of hate? what is that doing for you, to ignore literally the main character of the game because of his actions?
now, this is not to say people can't hate jimmy. i understand it! as someone who has been a victim of s/a and abuse, i understand if you hate him and are even triggered by him to the point of avoiding mention of him. (but...why are you in this fandom? ((not aggressive im genuinely asking)))
you can feel however you want about any character, my goal is not to control people. but i thought it was common knowledge to not hatepost about someone in their tag? over actual insight into his character and, you know, the main themes of the game?
jimmy is a man who has struggled his whole life. both him and curly confirm that in the game. he's unable to control his emotional outbursts, and he likely had no idea what to expect from being in fucking SPACE for over a year with people he probably didn't even know before that trip. and pony express and their corporate safety corner cutting certainly didnt help, did it?
for one reason or another, he most likely was never actually taught how to manage his emotions. that's just how it is sometimes, growing up as a man. and it would make sense if he was forced to deal with everything himself, no? he always complains, but he still says he'll handle it. because that's what he's always had to do. and this is just the start of what i could say about what made him the way that he is.
he's a victim too, not only of his own actions.
surprise surprise, people who do awful things can also be victims.
honestly, this entire situation baffles me. how are you going to avoid one of the main characters of the game, let alone the one you play as ninety percent of the time? mind you, curly is also guilty, and i am happy to see at least some people giving him space for nuance. because he is also a victim!!! why is it so impossible to see jimmy as nuanced, when literally every other character also has incredible depth to them??
you're tarnishing and spitting on the beautiful writing of this game just because one character is too icky for you to feel comfortable thinking about for too long. it's horror, you absolute morons. it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.
if you hate jimmy, i dont blame you. but please, please, make your own space for it. be kind to people who want to explore jimmy and the darker themes, and like him for what his character represents. this is a video game fandom, not a witch hunt. and please, learn some fandom etiquette while you're at it, okay? okay. thank you
also just say his name. its not a slur youre not gonna go to hell if you say jimmy. like this isn't as important but still it just feels like a microcosm of this whole thing.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing crew#mouthwashing spoilers#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing analysis#i am seriously so tired of seeing this#i tried to word this as nice as possible but#GggRRRAAHHH#HES A FICTIONAL CHARACTER HE IS MEANT TO BE EXPLORED.
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going ape crazy over the latest installment in the roleswap au holy SHIT. love this akatsuki. rin with her zealous conviction and manipulative kindness. the horror of her smothering and reviving shisui for no reason. she's SO GOOD. kakashi being fully aware that what they're doing is fucked but just using it as a club to beat himself w/ rather than doing anything about it. yahiko trying to make therapy no jutsu a thing. god fucking bless
THANK YOU I LOVE THEM ALL.
Rin was really difficult to write - I think I need to write out a short story featuring her as a kid. Having a mental idea of herself when she was good is an important anchor to her life when she's bad. She has utter conviction in her team and her village, and boundless kindness for everybody around her. I think this grows warped into utter conviction in herself, and boundless kindness for those who she decides deserves it. I think she can be really interesting and unique as a villain, and I really hope to do more with her. Her convictions, ideals, goals, and dreams are very important to her - human life is not. She was idly killing and reviving Shisui for no reason at all.
Very accurate summary of Kakashi, haha. He's permanently in his Hound era and I'd say his depression is drowning him. He has no interest in improving his or anybody else's lives. The only things he still finds important are loyalty and love, but in many ways he's only loyal to the ghosts of two dead children. In Kakashi typical manner, he'd rather hate himself than help anybody.
It's almost strange - while writing it, I was thinking of him as the member of the Akatsuki with the clearest moral compass (yes, including Yahiko). But while writing I found myself genuinely asking myself the same question he was asking himself. I don't think I decided on a single clear answer. I think Rin has greater capacity for genuine goodness, while Kakashi is more likely to turn away from the Akatsuki without Naruto intervention.
Yahiko is a beautiful beam of sunshine who deserves his god complex and adoration of the masses. He's my little cutie-pie and all of his atrocities are for a good cause. Unproblematic king, the Akatsuki ARE a peace organization, never let Kakashi tell you anythhing different!
Regardless, the love that Rin and Kakashi have for Obito is very real. They're still very devoted to him. Or...like, the concept/memory/idea of him...same thing...right...
I definitely want to write more. Something weird that keeps tripping me up is the question, 'What's more interesting: outside POV of Tobi or inside POV?'. Seems like a simple question but it's actually being a big roadblock for a lot of decisions. I haven't done any writing in a long time for way too many reasons, but I have a miraculously clear weekend so I hope I'll be able to finally get something written.
#kakashi we love your absolute uselessness at interacting with the disabled lifestyle#i highly encourage you to vocalize the 'like a dog right?' thought to sasuke and see what happens#i think rin's year with tobi as opposed to kakashi's 0 time with tobi is the origin behind a lot of their differences#disapointingly theyre probably the living people who are the chillest about his unique mental health situation#and who probably understand it the best (even if they dont understand it fully)#if anybody would get it they would#my asks#my writing
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One of the really irritating things about that 'oh QPR is just friendship, clearly you've never had friends, lmao loser' discourse is that (and there are many irritating things this is just one of them) even in QPRs that ARE just friendships with a new fancy label.... like...? There are many kinds of friendship that people just have because it's easier than not. And there are friendships that you think are going to be incredibly lasting, but then they date someone new and suddenly you're no longer a priority. The QPR label lets people attach an intentionality and priority to their friendship that really is not guaranteed..... like also not every QPR is this way etc etc but even when it is Just Friendship T M its still like entirely reasonable to want to use that label to signify that it isn't casual
#beeep#like this isnt to say casual friendships are BAD but for alloros its kinda like. there is a typical way to denote a relationship#is intended to be very lasting and very stable and it has its own special word and its normal to look for it etc etc and#like why are u begrudging aros the same thing. just cus they dont wanna kiss??? ridiculous#<-guy who was having Emotions about how boyfriend is a really nice label cus it lets me know its On Purpose and not just Convenient#but like yeah. idk if im arospec or not im kinda giving up on the having a solid orientation thing cus thats hard but... the knowledge that#your loved ones will move on and find someone they love the most and then in the future youre nobodys priority and u cant blame them but it#hurts. well thats really scary. like constant unrequited love but nobody understands because the unrequited love is friendship and they lov#you like a friend ! except they don't realize how different the intensities are anyway. this was a fear of mine when i was id'ing as aro an#it isnt an unreasonable one i think. also may have been somewhat sponsored by being the Convenient Friend and not ever a Best Friend but#yeah. in conclusion. even if a qpr is just another name for a friendship there is a REASON they want to use that term for it and its not#just lmao shitty losers. its because the world is really hard to navigate alone and people want to signify that commitment ! raaaaaaargh#anyway im probably not fully aro ive decided. like probably the cupio label is not correct like i previously thought. but i think that#people are ridiculously mean to aros and like. kinda treat them like they are stupid????? or childish??? anyway#turns out i may not be aro however i believe in their beliefs (i could elaborate more on that but i suspect im running out of tags)
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Them as Husbands | HCS |
Summary: Dating + Getting married
Warnings: Mentions of Alastor tendecies, grammar mistakes.
☆ LUCIFER
Best Husband ever.
He gives off the husband of the year.
Will open doors for you, will get you gifts because of a very simple reason (ducks)
Never lets you go away alone, he knows no one would dare hurt the S/O of the king of hell but still...he prefers to be sure.
Will buy whatever you want, even if you were looking at something out of curiosity, its yours.
Is going to introduce you to Charlie and hope you two get along well. Probably Charlie already knows about you since her dad was worried she would see him trying to remplace her mother. But Charlie is actually happy to see her father moving on and being happier!! She is fully supportive.
proposed to you in a wold yet amazing way. This man is down bad for you. Will get the perfect place, music, set up, get on one knee and ask you to be by his side for the eternity.
☆ VOX
He never expected himself to be a husband...with how fast the world progress and how relationships seems well just a thing to past time, he was sure he was out of the game.
Then he meets you, and he glitches because now all these romantic dramas he sees at 1am make sense to him. How everything slows down when he sees you, how the sounds are muffled when talking to you.
He does so many virus and hacks checks on himself to be sure what he feels.
Then is a nervous tv head. This man knows how to flirt and sleep around, not date. Its going to be akward but sweet. He falls first and hard. No one could ever make him dream on getting married.
The ďay he finally proposes is away form cameras, he prefers privacy for this (and is afraid you will say not but he also does not want to social pressure you).
Oh and when you say yes...the news are all about it. He is so dam happy, no one has ever seen him this happier (well unless is Alastor losing).
As a husband he is a gentlemen. He makes your house/aparment all last generation, so you only have to worry over sleeping and doing your hobbies.
Has the best emergency and security in your home/aparment. He is away most of the day so he likes to be sure you are safe and ok.
Yes, will spy you using cameras.
☆ STOLAS
Baby Owl wants a S/O who will respect him and love him for who he is.
Its going to be very and i mean very wary of your intentions with him. He may sleep with you and kiss you but wont fall fast. He is too hurt for that.
Once he feels enough confidence he will ask you to date him directly, no fooling around, you and him.
Will introduce you to Octavia and will be in cloud nine once you two start to bond.
His proposal is well, in space itself. Will take you to your favorite planet, to see the born of a star (signaling the start of your marriage with him) and ask you getting on one knee.
As a husband he is very sweet and tender. Always making sure you are happy with him and with your life. He does not want it to fail so he gives his best. Will need your support on it. Its not shy to cry to you about his fears.
Wants to have another kid with you, by adopting or impregnating you. Its your choice.
☆ ALASTOR
He comes from a time of change but believes once two peopel are dating they must get married sooner or later.
Well, getting him to date you is hard. It takes a lot for the idea to even pass by his head and stay. But somehow you end dating him.
He is someone who prefers quiet dates, you two and thats it. Will take you out if you ask him.
Since he pretty much has the idea of marry you since he accepted you as his S/O he will prepare something more special. Probably a dinner and a sweet speech with jazz in the background.
Letting aside his tendecies and him being a murder he is another gentlemen with you. Opens doors for you, dances with you. If you are from his same period of time he may expect you to make him food, but dont worry if you dont want to he will understand.
Is protective. Knows he has enemies, thats why he has one shadow with you all the time.
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#alastor x reader#lucifer x reader#vox x reader#stolas x reader
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This one request may be a little out there but can I request various creepypastas walking the reader home after they notice someone trailing behind them? They don't know the reader that well, maybe they've just entered the friend stage?
Various crps walking the reader home
Ooooo love this idea sm, sm sm might YOINK this for other characters in a different post
Characters: nina, hoodie, masky, toby
Notes: reader is GN, you and the crp arent dating but you guys are friends/friendly
CWs: stalking(? Does it count if it's an isolated instance of being followed?), implied violence
NINA THE KILLER
doesnt even wait to greet you when shes close by, she calls for you and says hi as she rushes up to you from... wherever she just was-
hooks her arm around yours, and keeps her hold on you firmly... perhaps out of concern... the risk that you might get snatched by someone else and taken?
though its not likely, given that shes twirling her knife around in the air in plain sight as she practically skips by your side- talking to you so casually as if there was nothing wrong
as soon as the person is gone shes asking if youre alright- do you need her to add someone on the chopping block? because she can probably track them down and-
fully understanding if you dont want her to do anything like that, but you can tell shes still... contemplating... insists she spends at least some time with you when you get home to make sure all is well- during the time shes there shes making sure youre alright as well as helping ease yourself after something like that
HOODIE
very tall, likely towers over whoever is making you feel threatened. unlike masky, he does look back at the other person... almost as if he is sizing them up
in the light you swear you catch a shine of something hidden away in his pocket- but the need to pull it out never arises as the person keeps their distance
its dead quiet between the two of you- as expected, and he does give you some breathing room... hes slightly behind you, almost like a barrier between you and the creep
immediately stomps out any attempts the person makes at getting closing the gap by blocking their way and glaring down at them until they either go the other way or pass ahead of the two of you... and even then hes going to continue moving to keep between you and them
will come inside if you offer him, he keeps an eye out long after the danger has passed
MASKY
you were already so caught up in making a plan for what to do, that you didn't even realize Masky taking his spot next to you. He nearly scared you just as much as the person behind you, at least.. until you realized it was just him
keeps close to you, and doesn't give the one following you a look.. to further push the point that the two of you are together he wraps an arm around you and tugs you closer
for someone who is usually so adverse to touch, and being interested in keeping his personal space- he was more than willing to toss all of that out of the window to bring you even an ounce of security
you eventually lose them, but thats not going to stop him from walking you the rest of the way home. he doesnt invite himself in, but you catch him stalking around the outside of your house- as if making sure there was no other unwanted visitors
TICCI TOBY
not as quiet as his fellow proxies, and in fact will spin around to make a conflict if the person isnt dropping it as you draw closer to your neighborhood
its... hard to say its the right choice, but making noise does add in the uncomfortable fact that it may draw attention- that in of itself isnt the best for toby given his record... you know, with arson and the like..
and if the person takes it as an opening to rush forward? toby goes no where without his weapons, and if the person didnt take that into account or didnt notice them then thats on them! anything that happens afterwards is just karma!
even if it doesnt escalate to that he talks with you, making it clear that the two of you are familiar with each other- he spares no volume as he catches up with you- will flash his hatchet and perhaps drop some recent work he was meant to do for his boss
gladly takes your invitation to stay, keeps you company and you both end up having a sleepover together
#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#creepypasta imagine#crp x reader#crp x you#crp imagine#nina the killer x reader#nina the killer x you#nina the killer imagine#hoodie x reader#hoodie x you#hoodie imagine#masky x reader#masky x you#masky imagine#ticci toby x reader#ticci toby x you#ticci toby imagine#canon x reader#canon x you#x reader
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Yall are delusional if you think Nesta is going to leave Cassian or the night court. First, they are mated. Not just mates. Mated. They accepted the bond, and SJM loves her Heas. It's a done deal. So either keep reading and deal with it or drop the series and find something you enjoy. Not to mention if they even could break the bond, how empty and broken Nesta would be for eternity. You really want that for her?
HOFAS happened three months after acosf. There's still alot of healing on Nesta’s part. Just because she saved Rhys, Feyre, and Nyx doesn't mean things are swept under the rug with them. Her and Cassian are both fiery and stubborn. They are going to have arguments. Honestly, it's perfectly normal for them to argue on occasion.
This. What Nesta did in HOFAS. Went beyond her and Cassian, beyond Rhys. This was a decision that Nesta should not have made herself. Yes I understand that she saw Bryce's desperation and understood her. She probably put herself in Bryces shoes for a moment. She took a chance. But it's a huge fucken chance because they don't know nor trust Bryce fully. And if she failed the whole of Prythian/Midgard is fucked. They have nothing to defend themselves against the weaponry Rigelus has. They will all die. Including Nesta Archeron.
Rhys had every right to scold her. And Her saying he's not her High Lord isn't accurate. She lives in his lands. Whether she wants to admit it or not. If any of the courts got wind of what was happening with Bryce or that Nesta gave this mask up to a stranger from another world do you know who would be faulted? Not Nesta. Rhys and Feyre would. They would suffer the consequences because Nesta falls under their lands. Their rule.
And now Cassian, who apparently had never defended Nesta once. Again. Nesta was In. The. Wrong. Her actions were beneficial and understandable but wrong. Cassian being upset and disappointed in her would absolutely make sense. Think of times in TOG, when Rowan wasn't happy with Aelin. He stood there silent until they were alone. That's more than likely what happened. Cassian didn't say his piece until everyone left. It's an argument between Nesta and Cassian and no one else.
That argument. The one that happened off page yet everyone wants to fucking crucify Cassian over cause you think you know what he said. When in reality you don't. Is wild. Three months ago, when she was with Emerie and Gwyn, they were taken and placed in the Blood Rite where he was helpless in going to her. He lost her briefly in the bog, watched her put her life at risk. How many times in acosf? He went a year or so watching Nesta absolutely ruin herself, had her lay over his body in front of Hybern, almost losing her, them, then too. Now, someone, a stranger and someone potentially dangerous, opened a portal in his living room where his mate was. And he wasn't there. All that trauma and ptsd he keeps on lock was blown wide open.
So now Cassian is a storm of emotions when he arrives home. Probably arrived mid argument between Nesta and Rhys, and the entire flight was given brief details of what's happening fueling his emotions. His fear, trauma, concern, disappointment, and anger. When Rhys leaves, Cassian and Nesta got into it. Sure he was pissed about the mask anyone would be. I would be. I personally think it goes on beyond that. Far beyond it. Nesta’s life, once again, was put a risk and no one knew what Bryce wanted. Cassian’s worst fear when the portal was open, was Bryce taking Nesta and never seeing her again. All that came out in their fight.
As readers, we know Bryce's intentions are good. They as characters who haven't been given the best view of Bryce dont believe it. Yes, I do think there needs to be more trust in Nesta. Especially where Rhys is considered. Cassian, as her mate, blowing things out of proportion is logical cause all mates have done it at some point. But yeah he needs to trust her a bit more too. He trusts her more than Rhys does that's for sure.
To play devil's advocate, I could be wrong on Cassian and Nesta and their fight. Absolutely. Im not Sarah. But neither are you who are wishing he dies, and Nesta leaves him over a risk that was never hers to make alone when it involves the whole world of Midgard.
If you read this entire thing and disagree. That's cool. The unfollow and block buttons are right there.
#im so fucking tired of seeing this#leave Cassian alone jfc#until we have confirmation of exactly what went down its all speculation#hofas spoilers#nessian#nesta archeron#cassian#rhysand#feyre archeron#feysand#bryce quinlan#pro cassian#pro nessian#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#crescent city#house of flame and shadow
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Its in the middle of the night, and I just realized the cycle nature of Anya assulate and Curlys assulate at the hands of Jimmy.
I will always stand by the fact, whether Curly fully knew what Jimmy did or not. Curly inactions while offensive on the outside, what the hell was he going to do? I'm realizing now, how REALLY short the time frame is to when shit goes down. Its a 8 month voyage the crash takes 4 months. They must have been on the ship for a month MAYBE before Jimmy pulled some fucked shit. (Hell it would be even more ironic if it turned out they were only 1 month anyway from earth.)
But there are no Coms that Curly can call. The company has a robot that can send messages. But can't receive them back and if they did I bet you would cost money for them to be able to call. Theres no call this number, in case of emergencies. Nothing. They sit in a box until they land. There's not even like a jail cell, that you could use to isolate someone. (Also I dont know where the Pony Express is going out of bussiness narrative came from. They were all fired because Pony express was the last man shipping crew, its all robots now. Pony express is the shitty corpo that just laid off their crew for Robots. Its implied by Sawnsea who mentions the state of what companys like the one they are working for are actually like.)
So Curly trying to keep the peace, trying to see both sides, not understanding, not processing it all. Makes sense. How he kneels down beside Anya and tries to tell her, he'd do anything for when the reailty of it is, he can't really do shit.
Then we flip it, Curly is bed ridden, Curly needs helps. Anya can't bare to give him medication. Jimmy does it, each time is more violent then the next. Their nothing Anya can really do, she can't call Jimmy out. She stuck just like how Curly was when all this shit happened. Curly is Jimmy prefect victim, Curly can't talk, can't move, all he can do is breath and watch.
They simultaneously both get insight on what the other had to deal with. Could you read Anya leaving Jimmy to take care of Curly as Anya getting some type of Revenge or its coated in Resentment. Yes. But you could also read it like-
"Jimmy is Curlys best friend, he would never do anything to hurt him. " I can see this being Anya thought process. An her clining to it as let Jimmy take care of Curly. Just like how Curly mind probably went, "I've know Jimmy for years he wouldn't do that..." when dealing with Anya.
Its a cycle baby! Also me putting Anya and Curly behind me. We are not gonna say either one is bad or whos REALLY at fault. the man AT FAULT is Jimmy. Jimmy for betraying a long time friendship by sexual assaulting a mutual colleague and friend. Jimmy who crashes the fucking ship. Jimmy. Its Jimmy fault and all we ever see is the reactions to Jimmys actions.
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better yet Loki or Bucky (marvel) with autism reader :3333
loki and bucky with an autistic reader!
loki~
doesnt fully understand it at first but once you explain a little about neurodivergences he catches on and will probably make a comparison to something from asgard
does all the research on it, learns what midgard knows about this and gets frustrated with the history of mistreatment and such.
has no shame in admitting he's learning about it just for you. but will ask you dont go around telling people about this side of him, especially dont mention it to thor or he'll never hear the end of it.
very observant of your behaviours, stims, sensitivities and preferences.
"dont pick that one, love, it has a texture you dislike" "..i warned you"
he will do whatever he can to help you with a meltdown, he has outlets for his own anger so hes more than ready to help you find outlets to avoid hurting yourself.
you spend hours talking, especially about interests. he's happy to have someone to talk with and listen to him and is more than happy to listen to you rant and ramble about your special interests
will summon a stim or texture object for you to fidget with if you need.
need to sit in a quiet place and de-stim? he'll find a dimly lt corner and sit with you, maybe read to you if you'd like.
extremely respectful of boundaries, listens when you struggle and does what he can to help be it communication or otherwise
pays attention to your ques when you need or cant stand physical touch.
if anything makes you insecure he'll compliment you on it or avoid comments on it if you prefer.
Bucky~
a little slow with wrapping his head around it, came from a time where there was a lot of stigma around high support needs autistic folk so he might have some things to unlearn and a lot of new stuff to learn.
tries his best to memorise your sensitivities and preferences but will mix a few things up.
off handedly remembers a lot of details you dont expect him to catch onto, especially when it comes to how you communicate.
will come up with nicknames based on comparing your behaviours he finds cute with certain animals who have the same behaviours.
if you like organizing things hes a mess and never remembers where you put things and has to ask every time because hes used to chaotic order.
picks up on your stims and even starts doing a few himself without realizing.
"hey, fruit bat, where'd the keys go?" "...obviously by the door, right"
loves going to the movies with you but makes sure you get a good seat in the back not too close to the speakers or too close/far from the screen so you arent over stimulated.
stops wearing cologne because youre sensitive to scents and he doesnt want to give you a headache
need something cold/smooth to calm down/relax? you can hold onto his metal arm
isnt sure how to handle your meltdowns but does what he can to help you, breaths with you if you need it maybe even has you rest your head on his chest to help you calm down when its over.
#hc request#headcanon#headcanon blog#headcanons#requested hc#loki laufeyson#loki headcanons#loki hc#autistic reader#x reader hc#x reader headcanons#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky hc#bucky headcanon#loki x reader#marvel headcanons#marvel x reader#marvel hcs#answered requests
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Master List
Seven
Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.
Chapter summary: Hoseok goes into heat and everyone else struggles. I'm honestly not gonna give more away than that.
Warnings: talk of mpreg (thats just gonna come up a lot in this story), like one mention of a penis, we are mostly glossing over hobis heat tbh bc i dont feel like doing smut in this chapter, do alphas have a breeding kink? Or is that just their nature? 🤔 mentions of past abuse, homelessness
WC: 6.7k
If Yoongi had known ahead of time that Hoseok was going into heat, then of course he would not have offered to take someone's eight hour shift in addition to his own. Sometimes the needs to provide and protect really opposed each other. Fucking capitalism. He already hated the idea of it because sixteen hours was way too many to be away from you, especially when sitting across the room from you was a struggle. Yoongi wanted to be next to you, against you, touching your skin. Not in a sexual way. He figured that wasn't a possibility, and maybe wouldn't be for a very long time. That was fine. He had six lovers—well, five if you consider the fact that Yoongi and Namjoon loved each other very much but could never quite work their way around sex with one another. He didn't need that from you. He just needed you. He needed you to need him in a way he had always wanted to be needed, so he figured a little overtime when the opportunity arose would be a good thing to ensure he could provide for you.
Yoongi hadn't grown up with a pack or an alpha. His mother, a beta, claimed his father was an alpha who died before he was born, but Yoongi always thought it was more likely he just left them. He couldn't really blame the guy. Alpha was a big job to fill, at least if you did it right. Not everyone was cut out for it just because they were born an alpha. When he was fourteen, Yoongi's mom joined a pack with a new alpha, and although Yoongi never fully felt part of that pack, he did have a great deal of respect for the pack alpha who took them in and demonstrated what it meant to protect and provide.
After Yoongi had presented as an alpha, he dreamed of being the leader of his own pack, but his attempts to build a pack in his early twenties failed. He quickly learned that a pack wasn't made out of sheer force of will. You needed the right personalities and to work with each other. No amount of leadership could make love where there was none, and Yoongi wanted a pack that was bound by more than just convenience. When he met Jungkook, he found that a pack like that already existed, and if Yoongi had to sacrifice being its leader to be a part of it, he decided he could live with that. He could still be a good alpha even if he wasn't at the top.
Part of being a good alpha meant helping with heats, so it was frustrating not being able to leave work to be there like Jin could. Namjoon and Yoongi were lucky to have rut leave, but most sap employers didn't understand the importance of being available for packmates, so they just had to do the best they could. At least Seokjin and Taehyung could always be there, and Jimin was allowed a few days leave by his shelter for Hoseok's heats. Jungkook, too, would have to do the best he could, but he usually called in at least a couple of sick days to help out.
Yoongi's plan was to check on you first and then check in with the pack before getting a shower to wash off the scents of other people. Most likely he would try to do that before he even approached Hoseok or the omega would go crazy. As soon as he opened the front door, he could tell that his heat was in full effect. Hobi's brown sugar was thick molasses and his moans could be heard easily from upstairs. There wasn't a packmate in sight, which probably meant he was in full all pups in the nest mode. He might not be able to sneak that shower after all. But he still had to check on you.
The door to the first floor bedroom you had occupied for the last five nights was closed. Could you be sleeping through this? Or were you hiding instead? He decided to knock, but received no response. Fear clutched in his stomach. Could the pack have neglected you so much in their efforts to care for Hoseok that you had passed out again? Yoongi turned the knob frantically to get into your room, only for his heart to drop through the floor. All of the soft, fluffy blankets that Hoseok had made into your nest were folded neatly in a stack on the bed. There wasn't a piece of trash or mislaid item in the room. It was empty, and Yoongi didn't need to look for you to know you were gone. He checked the bathroom anyway, just to confirm what he already knew. He dragged both hands through his hair as if he could clear the fog of panic. Where did you go? How long have you been gone?
Maybe protecting is more important than providing.
"Fuck," he muttered just before hearing Hoseok's cry of ecstacy ring through the house. He didn't emerge from the room until a few moments later when he heard clumsy footsteps hurry down the stairs. He could easily recognize that they came from Jimin, so he stepped into the hall.
"Hyung!" Jimin called excitedly. "You're finally home!" The beta walked to the kitchen and began to load his arms up with cold water bottles. "Hobi just took his first knot so you better hurry and get changed before he starts getting super possessive. What's wrong, hyung?"
Yoongi looked away when the younger man looked at his face. "I'll take a shower down here and meet you up there in a minute."
"What about Y/N?"
"She's gone," Yoongi said softly. What was left of Jimin's smile collapsed.
"What?"
"Her room is empty. She's gone," he repeated.
Jimin dumped the bottles in his arms onto the kitchen table and hurried toward the spare room. "No, she was here a couple hours ago." He pushed the door open to check the scene but he found what the alpha said to be true. "Where did she go?"
"I don't know."
"When?"
"I don't know, Jimin." Yoongi felt empty, but he didn't want to blame it on them. He was the one who should have been there watching over you. He was the one who fucked up.
"But Jin told her she could stay. She said she'd think about it," Jimin spoke just as softly as he did.
"I guess she decided not to."
Jimin turned to his alpha looking for answers. "What do we do?"
Yoongi sighed and tried to contain his grief. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to leave the house right now and dig up every instinct of his to hunt you down through this city and bring you back where you belonged. But that would be barbaric and archaic of him, and exactly the opposite of what you needed. You must have left for a reason. It didn't mean they couldn't find you and convince you to come back. You weren't dead. At least you weren't injured, or at least he hoped. But that wasn't the only problem right now. He still had an omega in heat, an omega who he knew—even though he was convinced no one could care as much as he did—would also be worried about you, and disappointed that you were gone.
"I'm going to shower. You go help with Hobi. Don't say anything."
"But–"
"We have to wait for the right time. When he's a little clear headed," Yoongi reasoned.
Jimin nodded sadly, gathering the water bottles into his arms again. "Okay. Don't take too long." Yoongi pursed his lips and nodded. "Hyung, I'm sorry. I really wanted her to stay, too. I wish–"
"Let's discuss it later, Jimin," Yoongi cut him off and gestured toward the stairs for the beta to go. If Jimin got him talking about how much he wanted her there, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from leaving to find you. And as much as he wanted you, this was his pack right now, and he owed it to Hobi to be around. So he went to the shower you had spent yesterday afternoon cleaning and turned on the cold water. He tried his best to push his thoughts of you out of his mind and meditate his scent into something that wasn't too sad as he scrubbed himself clean. He couldn't think about where you might be right now. Where would you even go? Back to that awful shelter? Why couldn't you just stay? Was it something he'd done, or one of the other guys? Were there just too many of them? He could have taken you away, somewhere for just the two of you. No, he'd have to take Jimin, too. Fuck. He shook his head to rid himself of the thought. He needed to think about his pack, not the omega who wasn't his. He let the cold water run steadily over his face for a long time, emptying his head of any thoughts except the feeling of the cold stream. Finally, he shut the water off and shook the water from his hair before he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist.
His hair was still dripping when he arrived at the landing outside the pack's nest room. Through the open door, Yoongi could see Hoseok lying on Namjoon's expansive chest while Jungkook wiped his neck and shoulders with a damp cloth. By the looks of it, Jin's knot had only just deflated, but he still laid behind his lover, talking in a whisper with Jimin while the beta fed him grapes.
Jin looked at Yoongi as he stepped carefully over a squeaky floorboard and into the room. He took in his naked chest and the towel slung low across his hips as the alpha came to the edge of the nest. Yoongi's eyes roamed over the pack omega as if asking a question.
"He just fell asleep," Namjoon answered, stroking his fingers through Hoseok's dark brown hair.
"Did you shower downstairs?" Jin asked. Yoongi nodded. "Was that a good idea?" The pack alpha asked and it almost sounded like a warning.
Yoongi looked at him sharply. "It wasn't a problem." He sat at the edge of the bed and Hoseok began to stir, clearly not deep in sleep.
"Yoongi?" The omega called softly.
Yoongi crawled up to lay himself over Hoseok's lower half, resting his chin on the man's hip. "I'm right here, my love."
"You're home," he mumbled and Yoongi hummed in response. "Bring little pup here. Need everyone in the nest."
Yoongi caressed the skin of Hoseok's side. "I would if I could, my love. But you know that I can't." Hoseok pouted. "She's not our omega. You are."
"Want her to be my omega," Hoseok moaned.
"I know, Hobi. Me, too."
Hoseok turned onto his back and pulled at Yoongi's shoulders to get him closer. "Alpha," he crooned. "Need your knot alpha." Hoseok pushed aside the towel from his hips to reach for his cock.
Yoongi kissed his lips softly. "I know you do, baby. But you know the rules. You can only have Jinnie's knot so you can have his pup," he reminded, brushing hair away from Hoseok's eyes. He looked over at the other alpha, who stared back with dark, intent eyes.
"You can fuck our sweet omega, Yoongi. You just have to use a condom," Jin said.
Yoongi suppressed a sigh. He'd always hated this rule of Jin's ever since it had started a year ago. Sure, they could fuck normally outside of Hobi's heat, but in order to ensure when he got pregnant, the baby would be Jin's, the others always had to use protection.
"I will, if that's what my Hobi wants," Yoongi agreed with a soft kiss to his scent gland. It wasn't that he was unwilling. He would still get to feel Hoseok. He would still cum. But his instincts knew that he wouldn't be able to breed his omega, and it left him feeling deeply unsatisfied every time.
Hoseok moaned, "Need to feel you alpha." So Yoongi took the condom that Jungkook offered.
Seokjin and Yoongi had grown up just as differently as you and Hoseok. Even if Yoongi's situation had never been as grim as yours, he knew what it was like to go without and to feel like an outsider. It was hard to make friends with other Lykos sometimes when the other kids had strict packs or so many siblings they didn't need other playmates. It certainly wasn't any easier to make friends with Saps, who would always treat him as a little different. And constantly moving as his mother did her best to keep them afloat in a world definitely not designed for single mothers never helped to maintain whatever friendships he did happen to make. Finding the pack and living with them for five years was the most stability he had ever known.
Seokjin’s life had been the definition of stability. He was born in the house where three previous generations of his family had lived. People wanted to be associated with him wherever he went—sure it was because of his connections to the most powerful Lykos in the country, but at least he never felt unwanted. His older brothers and sisters had been his playmates, at least until they all presented, and as the youngest he was always doted on. And then there was Hoseok, who had clung to Seokjin first and soon found he would never get away, not that he wanted to.
Jin's family had a long lineage full of stereotypical alphas. Not in brute force like in the days before integration with Saps where physical power was power. But they had learned in the early years to cultivate political power in the public sphere. Nearly every alpha in his family had a position in government, elected or otherwise. Seokjin had only narrowly escaped that career path because he had so many older alpha siblings, and because he managed to convince his mother that having a member of the family who wasn't involved in politics would make their image as a collective a little less power hungry. Deep down he didn't have the ambition. At 20, he already knew that he wanted to do enough to have a happy and comfortable life with the man he loved, and to not have to make the kind of sacrifices other members of his family had to make for power.
At home, the alphas of his pack had been the kind to demand respect and to dole out punishment when it wasn't immediately given. Seokjin had never wanted to be that kind of alpha, one who needed to be obeyed, or who purposely filled his pack with omegas and betas so that he would be on top. Unlike Yoongi, he hadn't aspired to be a pack alpha, only to be Hoseok's alpha. It just so happened that he met several other alphas that they both came to love—and if having more alphas for Hoseok took some of the burden off of him, then that was a bonus.
Jin had never shown such toxic alpha traits until a year ago, and since everyone had tiptoed around the subtle and not-so-subtle changes in his personality, no one knew what had changed. It had been a meeting with his mother, which had taken place at his office so none of the pack knew. It wasn't that his birth pack disapproved of his pack exactly. It was just that none of them could do anything to support the power of the family, so his mother in particular didn't see any reason to be involved with them very often. Only Jin and his husband were ever invited to public events, and for the most part everyone was perfectly happy with the situation. There was only so much limelight to go around and most of his siblings had no problems soaking it up.
That didn't mean his mother was disinterested in his future though. She was especially interested in him having pups. He and Hoseok had been married for nearly a decade now, without a single baby.
"We've just been waiting for things to get settled. It will happen when the time is right," he insisted once again. This conversation occurred at least twice a year.
"Well, settle them. You're the alpha. It's your job to decide when and how things happen for your pack, Seokjin."
"It's not that simple–"
His mother threw her hands in the air. When would her son learn to take some initiative? "Of course it is! You haven't added anyone to your pack in several years. I'd say things are quite settled. You need to have a child. You're not getting any younger, and neither is Hoseok. You have a bloodline to continue."
"Mom," he groaned. "You have half a dozen grandchildren already. Why do you need to pressure me?"
"It's not about quantity. Don't you want to be a father?"
"Of course I do." It was true. He'd always wanted a child with Hobi. That was never in question.
"Listen, Jinnie. Maybe it's time you consider adding another omega to your pack. A female omega might have an easier time conceiving and fewer risks–"
Seokjin pinched the bridge of his nose as he interrupted her. "I don't want another omega, mom! Hoseok is all I want or need."
"I know several lovely young ladies who might be a good fit for you! It doesn't have to be a love match."
"Mom!"
"You have too many alphas anyway. You need to even things out a little. If you brought in another omega it might put the other alphas at ease. Especially Yoongi. He might challenge you less if he had someone else to focus on."
"Mother! Yoongi and I are fine. We don't need someone else."
"Yoongi has the potential to be a pack alpha and I know you know that. He will take it from you if given the chance. You have to do something to assert your dominance in this pack. You need to have a child, and you need to be sure that it's yours."
You left the house so early the public library wasn't even open yet when you arrived. You nodded in acknowledgement at another regular before sitting on the concrete wall out front to wait. The sun was still rising, and the spring air felt cool and damp with dew. Your stomach rumbled. You should have eaten before you left the house.
Don't you think you've taken enough advantage of their kindness?
Yes.
Alpha would be mad if he knew I didn't eat.
He's not your alpha.
The opening of the library's front entrance took you mercifully out of your thoughts. A librarian stepped outside and held the door open, greeting the patrons who had gathered outside like you with a smile as you got to your feet. She was a Sap, but a kind woman you had spoken to on a few occasions. She always treated you and the other Lykos who came into the library with kindness.
"How are you today, Y/N?" The woman, Maria, asked as you approached the open door.
"I'm alright," you smiled politely. "It's still early."
She laughed softly. "Haven't seen you in a bit. Everything okay?" She closed the door after you entered and you waited for her to walk around to her desk before you answered.
"Just been busy. Can I get a guest pass for the computer?"
She typed something on her keyboard before looking at you again. "Did you lose your card?" You nodded in response. "We can get you a new one. I just need to see your ID."
You shook your head and she looked at you curiously. "I have my ID…but I don't live at that address anymore, and I know it's supposed to be current so…I'll wait until I find a new place and get one then." You fidgeted uneasily as you explained, your eyes downcast, so you didn't see her frown and her sympathetic eyes.
"I'm sorry to hear that." She clicked a few things on her computer and handed you a small ticket. "Is there anything else I can help you with today?"
You took the paper and shook your head. "I'll just be looking for jobs. It might take me a while…" you said apologetically.
"Take your time," she smiled encouragingly, and you turned away to find the computer at the back that you preferred.
It was always nicest to be here right when they opened, when it was still quiet. In a couple of hours story time would start and mothers would come in with their children, pulling them close to their sides and away from the homeless Lykos that often spent their time there. For now it was just you and a few others you recognized but had never spoken to. Even before you lost your home, you had been coming here frequently, since you couldn't afford your own internet. You'd come here the second day you arrived in the city and did pretty much exactly what you were doing now. Sometimes it was easier to start over than to try to hold onto what little gains you made.
You entered the code Maria had given you to log onto the computer and opened up the web browser, pulling up a job site you were familiar with. You didn't have any particular job you were searching for. Beggars can't be choosers after all. Instead of searching for job titles, you went straight to the filters, and your palms began to sweat.
Education level required:
You didn't even graduate high school, stupid omega. What job are you even qualified for?
Shut up! That's not my fault!
You chose "not specified" from the dropdown menu and moved on.
Benefits:
Heat/rut leave required: yes no
The cursor hovered over the yes box. You'd never checked it before. Never looked at what kind of jobs might be able to offer you that. Probably not anything you were qualified for. But you clicked it, just to see.
Your search delivered no results. Try adjusting your filters.
You don't need heat leave anyway. Just take your pills like you're supposed to.
But they make me so sick.
That's a small price to pay to not be bred like a Bitch.
…yeah
You clicked the 'x' next to the filtered option and searched again. This time the website populated a list of jobs for you to sort through. Most of them were ones you had seen before. Some of them were ones you had had before. Working in a store was hard because of all the scents. Scent blockers only took you so far. Restaurants and bars were similarly challenging and the hectic environment could be overstimulating. Delivery driver, but you didn't have a car. And to make matters worse, none of these jobs alone would pay enough for you to live by yourself, even the way you were living before.
Should have stayed with alpha. Then I wouldn't have to work.
You think house work isn't working? And what's your compensation? Getting beaten for every mistake, because you always fuck it up and tossed out when they're done with you.
Yoongi wouldn't do that. He was nice.
For now. And what about the others? Jin didn't seem to want you there at all.
He asked!
Only because Hoseok wanted him to and what about when he has a baby? Do you think they'd still want you? Or worse if he can't have a baby then they'll make you do it! You think their kindness comes for free? Nothing is ever free! Remember last time? You thought that pack was kind too. How long did that last before they showed you exactly what you're good for?
Stop it!
"Stop!" You hissed. "Just shut up!"
Everything around you felt suddenly still. You looked up to find several pairs of eyes on you, including Maria's. She walked toward you, and you wanted nothing more than to hide.
"Is everything okay, dear?" She asked softly as she stood by your computer station.
"I'm sorry. I'm fine," you assured her just as quietly, but her eyes told you she didn't buy it. "I have to go." You quickly picked up your bag from the floor beside you and rushed for the exit.
You'd already been over this multiple times since you overheard Jin and Hoseok's conversation yesterday, so why wouldn't the thoughts just stop? You made a decision and it was too late to go back on it so why were they still going round and round? You hadn't heard the first part of their conversation, but you had already known that Hobi was going into heat. Hence you were trying to clean up and help before you were kicked out. You weren't expecting Jin's offer at all, but you assumed between Jimin and Yoongi, and maybe Hoseok too, that they had talked him into at least offering. But he and Hoseok were trying to have a baby, and that wasn't as straightforward a process for everyone as they wanted it to be. And if it didn't work out for Hobi…well you knew about alphas who failed to have pups and how they could treat omegas who were easy, vulnerable targets, like you. So of course you left. You weren't an idiot.
Part of you hoped it would work out for Hoseok though. You might not trust alphas, but he seemed to trust his and to be loved by them. So he deserved to have everything he wanted.
It was hours before you were able to get in to talk to anyone at the True Life shelter. Luckily it was a nice morning once the sun had fully risen, not exactly warm, but warm enough in the hoodie you had stolen from Yoongi. There was a nice park between the library and the shelter, and you spent a few hours there trying to enjoy the sunshine and clear your mind. There wasn't anything else you could do, so you might as well try to find some peace while it lasted.
"You know the rules. If you don't check in, the contents of your locker are forfeit," the woman at the desk reminded you after explaining that all your belongings that you left behind while you were in heat were now gone. "If you're lucky, some of it may still be in the store."
The only thing more insulting than having them take the last of your belongings was having to buy them back at the second hand store the same organization ran around the corner. You stifled your groan. At least Hoseok had washed all your clothes that you had with you. At least now you didn't have to carry all your worldly goods with you.
"You find a place to stay?" The woman asked, loudly smacking the gum that she perpetually chewed. You shook your head. "Got an open bed tonight if you need it."
"Thanks," you mumbled. There was something in the way she looked at you that always made you feel so small.
"You know the deal," she said as she placed a bottle of heat suppressants on the counter in front of you. You pulled your own bottle out of your purse and rattled it in front of her.
"I have plenty."
She quirked an eyebrow as if mentally doing the math and knew something wasn't adding up. "You taking them like you're supposed to?"
You tried to keep your expression neutral as her eyes didn't stray. After several long seconds, you twisted the cap off the bottle and shook one large pill into your hand, shoved it into your mouth and swallowed it dryly.
She looked at you a moment longer while your throat worked to get the vile medicine down. Then she grabbed a bottle of water from the counter behind her. "Well, don't choke on it," she snorted.
After taking a big drink to clear your throat you opened your mouth wide and stuck your tongue out at her. "Happy?"
"Delighted," she deadpanned. "Come back at six."
You nodded and walked out of the building. At least soon enough your stomach would hurt so much you wouldn't feel hungry anymore. There were silver linings all around.
Jimin hasn't been sleeping well. At least not at night. He's been napping with Hobi during the day between sessions, since he's the omega's favorite cuddle buddy at the moment. But whenever the whole pack went to sleep for the night, Jimin found himself lying awake, wondering where you were sleeping. It had been a few days by now, so had you gone back to True Life? Had you tried for somewhere better? He knew most of the shelters were always at capacity. He hoped you weren't sleeping outside. It was too cold for that still and you'd only end up getting sick.
Why didn't you just stay? Was it purely fear? Too many strangers, too many alphas? Or was it something about them, just one of them? Had he upset you so much the other night that you felt you couldn't stay. The afternoon he saw you with Hobi it seemed like you might be getting comfortable.
Jimin sighed and stared holes into the ceiling while his packmates slept. He rolled to his right, where an empty space had been left for Yoongi. Yoongi. Jimin had never seen the alpha quite like that. He knew how protective Yoongi could be, but nothing he'd ever seen compared to how Yoongi looked at you. Alphas don't really court betas in the way that they do omegas, but even when Yoongi and Jimin first started dating it hadn't been nearly as obvious how badly Yoongi wanted him. (He had wanted Jimin almost as badly, but maybe not quite so desperately).
But Jimin also knew everything was different with you. He had been the one to bring you to his alpha after all, and had thrown you into this strange situation. You were an omega for starters and that would always set off an alpha, although it hadn't seemed to affect the others quite as much. Maybe it was Yoongi's affinity for lost people. Maybe it was just the fact that you were so small and in need of protection. All alphas want to protect, but not all omegas need it in the way you do. Hoseok doesn't. But even Jimin felt the urge to cover you from the rest of the world. And he couldn't lie, he sort of loved how small you were, the fact that he was bigger than you. He hadn't gotten the chance and maybe he never would, but it didn't stop him from thinking about what it would be like to hold your small frame, be able to sniff the top of your head like Jungkook always does and feel for once like he could protect someone else.
Jimin was awake when he heard Yoongi come home and it lightened his mind fractionally, knowing that soon the alpha would be next to him, where he needed him. It's hard to mark the passage of time in the dead quiet of night, but Jimin was sure several minutes had passed since he heard any shuffling from downstairs. Carefully, he rolled to the edge of the nest and to his feet. He didn't want to stress Hobi if he woke to two packmates missing from the nest, but he also needed to see Yoongi. Jimin tiptoed over each creaky floorboard of the staircase down to the first floor. The alpha wasn't in the living room or the kitchen, which meant he could only be in one place. Jimin found the man laying on the bed in the spare room, sobbing gently into a comforter that had been part of your nest.
"Yoongi hyung," Jimin breathed as he laid on the bed behind him, pressing himself against the lines of his body. "What are you doing in here hyung? Hm?"
Yoongi took a deep breath and tried to quiet the sobs. If anyone but Jimin had found him like this he would have been humiliated, but nothing ever felt embarrassing with him. "I can't stop looking for her everywhere, Jiminie," he spoke through his tears. "I keep fearing I'll show up at a call, and she'll be the one who's hurt. And I feel relieved and sad all over again every time it isn't her. I just want to know that she's safe."
Jimin wrapped his arm around his chest and squeezed Yoongi closer to him. He laid soft kisses against his neck, but the alpha still struggled to calm himself.
"Earlier tonight we got called to this accident. A girl was hit by a car and she was face down in the road. There was blood everywhere. And for a minute I really thought it was Y/N. But she was a sap girl. Y/N is so small, like a little girl, how is she going to be okay on her own. She needs-" Yoongi broke off in another sob. He hated to be this wrecked, but if he wasn't sad he would have to be angry, and he hated to be angry. He didn't want to be the kind of alpha who acted like everything had to be his way and get upset if it wasn't. That was never Yoongi. He wasn't trying to be petulant. He just couldn't help his grieving. "I don't know what it is, Jimin," he admitted. "I don't know why I'm so attached to her. But I just feel it in my chest. I can't just let her go. I'm sorry."
Jimin laid his head on top of his alpha's and spoke softly next to his ear. "You don't need to apologize, hyung. Not to me or anyone else. Whatever you're going through, I don't think it can be understood rationally. It's just a feeling, and that's something you should listen to. Your instincts are always right."
"Thanks, Jimin," Yoongi sighed, finally calmed from his sobs.
"You're a great alpha. She'd be lucky to have you, like I am." Yoongi found Jimin's hand and laced their fingers, appreciating his words.
"What's going on? Where's Y/N?" Hoseok asked, flipping the light switch and suddenly blinding them. Yoongi sat up, rubbing his puffy eyes against the brightness.
"She's gone, Hobi," he answered hollowly.
"Gone? Gone where?" Hoseok hadn't been out of the nest room for nearly three days. The alphas had been keeping him distracted, keeping him in bed and satisfied and well-fed so he'd never have to leave. Now he looked around the room for any trace of you.
"We don't know," Jimin admitted. He rubbed his hand soothingly up and down Yoongi's back.
Hoseok stared at the two of them, dumbfounded. "When did she leave?"
"A few days ago? I'm not sure exactly when she left but she was gone by the time I got home from work on Wednesday."
Hoseok huffed. How long had they kept it from him? "And today is?"
"Saturday."
"Saturday! Were you planning to tell me?" Hoseok asked.
"I didn't want to spoil your heat. I figured if you were upset you might not be as interested in sex and then Jin…" Yoongi tried to explain.
"Jin what?"
"Nothing. He's just been very touchy about your last few heats, and I didn't want to make him more upset." Yoongi rubbed his hands across his red face.
Hobi swallowed. He knew Yoongi was right but that didn't mean he shouldn't have been told. You'd been on his mind even if he knew you couldn't be in his nest. "Jin's just been stressed," he defended, but neither of the others responded. "Were you planning to sleep in here?"
Yoongi shook his head. "I was planning to shower and then come to bed but I…I just had a rough night at work and I needed a minute."
Hoseok sank onto the bed on his other side, where Yoongi had the comforter pulled partially over his lap. He pushed the alpha's bangs back to look at his red eyes. "Have you been crying?"
Yoongi pulled his face away to hide in his hands. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, throat thick with shame.
"Baby, you don't need to apologize. I was just surprised. I've never seen you cry before. Not in six years."
"You aren't supposed to see me cry."
Hoseok scoffed. "That better not be some toxic alpha bullshit, Yoongi." The man reddened further at the admonishment. "You wanted her to be your omega. It makes sense you would be upset. You really felt something for her."
"You're my omega," Yoongi responded.
Hoseok shook his head. "I know that. Doesn't change anything." He ran his fingers into the alpha's hair and pulled his head to rest on his shoulder. "I wanted her to be my omega, too."
Jimin leaned into Yoongi's back. "I can't speak for anyone else, but I wanted her as an omega, too."
Hobi hummed with a thought. "The three of you would've made a cute little pack."
Jimin tilted his head up on Yoongi's shoulder to look at him. "Emphasis on the little."
Jimin pulled away, taking his alpha with him. "You know how to ruin a moment."
"Sorry," Hoseok chuckled. "Will you two please come upstairs? Can't sleep without all my pups in the nest."
You managed to get over your embarrassment to go back to the library a few days later, but finding a job still wasn't any easier. You were tired of losing a job as soon as they found out what you were and just as tired of pretending to be something you weren't. Not that you were ready to embrace your omega, either. But trying to pass for a sap was getting exhausting. You were too small for a Sapien adult. If you could choose you'd rather just give up altogether, but the last time you'd made that choice you'd been lured by comfort into the hands of two bad alphas. So you'd have to keep trying. And you knew there was one person who could help you.
There were two youth shelters in the city, and on Monday when you went to one they told you no one named Jimin worked there. You felt so foolish that you didn't bother trying the other one, but on Tuesday morning you plucked up your courage and walked to the Open Door shelter. When you walked in, there was an omega female at the desk who gave you a kind but instantly regretful smile.
"I'm sorry, hun. All our omega dorms are full today," she informed you.
You stepped forward to lean on the counter, casting a curious look around the place. Teenagers were milling about, coming and going freely, able to spend the days indoors rather than on the streets. Through one door you could hear the sounds of some people playing basketball.
"I'm not here for a bed. I'm looking for someone." You drummed your fingers against the vinyl countertop.
"Sorry, kid. I can't give out the names of people who are staying here."
"No. I'm looking for an employee. His name is Jimin."
Recognition flashed in her eyes. "What's your name, hun?"
"Y/N," you answered quietly.
"Let me go see if he's busy," she told you before she walked through a door behind the desk.
He's busy. At work, dumbass. You shouldn't be bothering him.
He said he could help. Maybe he'll take you home.
You don't have a home.
Alpha is home.
Don't be an idiot.
You moved over to a chair against the wall opposite the desk to wait, anxiously eyeing the door you came in through.
A/n: i am not sorry. However if you would like i scream at me or any of the characters, please feel free to do so in my inbox, comments or reblogs. Your feedback makes me feel alive. 💜 How are we feeling about Jin these days? What about our poor MC? What do you think will happen when she talks to Jimin?
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#bts fanfic#bts abo#bts omegaverse#bts poly ot7#bts ot7 x reader#bts yoongi#bts hoseok#bts jin#bts taehyung#bts jungkook#bts jimin#bts namjoon#bts a/b/o#bts angst#bts fluff#bts au#bts x reader#bts fic#bts fan fiction#bts series#bts poly au#bts alphas#bts#lone wolf
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Russia (Ivan Braginsky) x Male!Reader Dating Headcanons
Ask: "hiiii could i req russia smut headcanons but with a male!reader instead? i wonder if the dynamics would be as different or not lololol but it's ok if u dont!! ohhh or maybe, dating russia headcanons w male!reader? if it's not too much! <3"
Contents/Possible Warnings: This is kinda of short, Fluff, Russia is heavily implied to be Bisexual or Pansexual, Russia is kinda clueless about dating men, but he's still got the spirit, though
Other Notes: I went with dating headcanons since I'm not entirely sure how I'd go about writing more detailed smut for a male reader just yet, even with a bit of research on tips. This is my first time writing for a male reader, so I apologize in advance if the writing isn't the best. Constructive criticism is always welcome. I'm glad to try something new, though! I had fun writing this, so a thank you to the Anon who requested this. ❤️
It's important to understand that Ivan hasn't dated very many men before. He hasn't been avoiding doing so, it's just the men he's been around throughout his history tended to be people who worked for him in some way, making the possibility for potential romance difficult to come by. Not too many people want to date their scary, intimidating boss, after all.
When you come along and aren't afraid of him automatically it opens up the door for something more between you two. Ivan is very adamant about being good friends with his partner before you two start dating, so things may take some time before they turn romantic and loving.
When he's finally ready to change your relationship and have you as his boyfriend he's not sure how to go about it. Who confesses to who? Does it even really matter? Do you even like other guys? Do you like him? He's not trying to make things complicated, he's just inexperienced when it comes to other men. He'll get even more worried if you're bi/pan and have mentioned dating women before.
You're probably going to be the one who asks him out because of this. Reassure him that your relationship is like any other he's been in and that things will be fine. Russia's still concerned about his role in things once you're dating, though.
He grew up in a very patriarchal society with certain expectations that extended their way into the dating scene, so when it comes to things with specific gender norms he's not sure what to do. When it comes to who pays the check at the restaurants you two have dates at he has a moral dilemma. Who pays?? Does he pay? Do you pay? He was so used to paying for his female partners before you... Please let him know it does not matter who pays. He's a bit confused, but he's got the spirit.
When he's fully understanding of the dynamics of your relationship he relaxes, and things aren't too different than his past relationships. He's still very doting and caring with you.
Expect a lot of affection from him! He loves to cuddle you, especially. He values quality time with you, so he spends as much of his day with you as he can. He does worry about coming off as clingy, however. Reassure him that you're fine with his company and he's good to go.
You can also expect a lot of dates. He prefers ones at home, such as watching a movie and eating snacks. To him, dates are about that quality time I mentioned earlier. Having your dates inside gives him more time to spend with just you and him.
Ivan's always been a loving person to his past partners, and you're no exception. Although he can often be childishly cruel to those around him, Russia would never hurt you in any way. (Unless you asked him to, but that's going into a whole other type of headcanons)
#💫mimicwrites💫#male reader#male!reader#ivan hetalia#hws ivan braginsky#ivan braginsky x reader#hws russia#hws hetalia#hws#hetalia#hetalia hws#hetalia world series#hws hetalia x reader#hetalia x reader#hetalia russia x reader#russia x reader#ivan braginsky#hetalia x male!reader#hetalia x male reader#x male reader#x male!reader#divider by cafekitsune#male y/n#i love tags#hetalia russia x you#hetalia x you#hetalia fandom#hetalia fanfiction#why are you reading the tags?#stop reading the tags
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This is a weird thought piece question so if you don’t wanna answer it’s okay. But genuinely as a character I think Katsuki is very aware of people he cares about. Almost in an Izuku type of obsessive way, maybe less intense and prone to writing it down, lol. But as I trust your perspective on him a lot I wanted to ask, do you think he’s the type of person as a friend or significant other or potential person, to be aware of insecurities?
Or to care genuinely? For example if you were insecure about your size. Do you think he would be aware of that and be silent? Or would he love the insecurity in spite of your feelings? Or does he not really think twice because he cares about you and doesn’t know you would even feel that way. It’s a weird dilemma I ran into wanting to write a piece for him and I realized I couldn’t figure it out. Hopefully I am explaining myself properly?
Thank you 😭
i understand what u mean lol dw and i think if u read some of my pieces my stance on this aspect of him is hard to grasp bc i dont often write more insecure readers. mostly bc i think its a little bit harder to write well as it requires more nuances but thats a diff can of worms jdhfkj
i think its important to understand less so what bakugou does and does not care about and moreso the way he process information - which is largely intuitive.
like i do understand what you are asking and because bakugou is bakugou - yes, i think he is probably aware of these things. he picks up on them often and usually uses them in some context when throwing insults or even in more light hearted interactions.
but a lot of bakugous informational processing is based on a pragmatic, systemic and reason based way of thinking. and a lot of what impedes that way of acting is his own emotional state. in the beginning of the series, he's a lot more insecure in himself and he projects that onto other people. it causes him to act in very irrational and ridiculous ways
however by the end of the series, katsuki s a fully processed and emotionally realized man. so he defaults to a more elevated, calm and secure version of himself that relies on what he's best at which is using his intuition to draw conclusions and implementing a reason based plan. before he was doing that just with logic.
but he has the emotional tuning to also do this in his relationships and he's taken a lot of time to learn to navigate them.
so i think in a partnership, it's unlikely that he does not know at all. i think he probably picks up on the insecurity in smaller ways but does not put a real name to it (i.e. i dont think he thinks of it consciously / actively) until something comes up which forces him too do it
and that something would be if its putting his partner in any kind of serious emotional distress or comes up frequently as a reason for their upset.
katsuki has this line he says very famously says to shouto "there's no way you could've noticed something that i didnt but lets hear it anyway." and he's being passive aggressive af lol but there is some merit to that.
he's a very keen person naturally and he spends a significant amount of time with you - so he definitely knows to an extent. maybe no actively, maybe not consciously - but just an intuitive understanding.
however, because he loves you - he will only intervene when he thinks its necessary to do so. and this isn't because he doesn't care about you, but because he specifically had to handle his own insecurity and he knows firsthand what you're experiencing in himself.
but katsuki loves you and also has a lot of faith in you. he will push if he thinks you need to be pushed, and he will assure if he thinks you need to be assured. he's a good partner in that way. but for the most part, he won't interfere because he trusts in you as a person to overcome things. insecurity is not something that can be mended by another person if it's within yourself, but it can be healed when it's reframed to you by someone who loves you.
and if you need that from katsuki he will undoutedly give it to you. but he trusts you to handle business basically. so not in a bad way, he treats your insecurities as simply being apartof you.
he doesn't have any feelings about the insecurity itself. he's not lying when he says that. but thats because he loves you more as an amalgalm of all the parts of you. his view of you is rounded out and he sees all of it as you. if he loves you, he loves you. there's nothing that needs to be changed as longs as its you. so he has no opinion on if you like or dislike something. you are you no matter who you are or what you look like.
bakugou is very explicitly not shallow. appearances in love are generally unimportant to him. he falls in love with people not looks even when people don't believe that because he's so pretty lmao
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One thing imma be real one thing i don't like about some mouseverse comics is that some characters just straight up look so human, and honestly I think that theres some good missed potential with some of them like the phantom blot la creatura
Before I got into the comics for good I thought the phantom blot was suppoust to be a human and that was one of the reasons why he freaked mickey out so much bc he's just straight up activating his uncanny valley/ is somewhere where he's just straight up not suppoust to be so he doesnt look like anything mickey's seen yet but apparently he's suppoust to be a dog
I think blots design is very good without his mask he looks like one of these rich people way over their head (its bc of the mustache, brows and half closed eyes half of the time im telling you he looks like he has 500$ of spare change in his pocket at all times )
(He'd rob me out of my money on etsy)
But blots design really doesnt look like a dog and I honestly think for him thats a strenght for a couple of reasons I dont wanna fully write out here bc id be getting into character design study for like 4 pager out here but the main point is Blot is the villian and a well masked one on top of that his design being highly diffrent from others is a good thing bc he's already not like others he stands out and he's evil and he's suppoust to be creepy so I think not really looking like a dog despite teachnicly being one has its purpose and even metaphor to it if you wanna go that route (maybe bc he views himself so above everyone and so humanized compared to them that he ends up sticking out, because he is so above them he's no longer one of them and its visible in his design)
But the points above start to fall flat and explode like a comicly large firework when you consider eeeeeh
All these are background/one off characters so I understand why the designs arent exactly thought out on the same level as main characters that would honestly be ridiculous but some of them just don't look like any animals and some straight up look like humans with slightly altered face structure
And that unfortunately also goes for my best girl samantha
ily but you do not look like a dog girl T T
When I was first reading that comic i thought she got the "kitty kat" treatment but turns out its just a thing for one off/side characters
Also there are some alternative designs for already existing characters that look more human in animation that arent used for some reason probably bc the animation and comic departaments being quite diffrent and also having a giant brick ball between eachother or disney just refusing to re-brand or re-design things that are already somehow well known
Comic o'hara design ^^^
Animated o'hara design ^^^
There very slightly diffrent but I can easily tell animated o'hara is a dog while the comic ver had me a bit confused (especialy since I didnt see the ears at first)
Also o'charas first apperance IN COMIC FORM looks alot more charming to me for some reason, the same goes for other police officers
he's so fat here I love it
They look alot cuter that way imo I like their snouts alot more in that form Plus they do the side eye every dog ever gives you at some point you know exactly what im talking about 🫵🫵🫵🫵
I dont know it could just be me being picky but I feel like there would be some ways of making the side characters look more animal but still easy to draw and design, maybe something like character base's for diffrent animal species that can get altered for diffrent one off/side characters...or giving the comic artist more time to do their job crazy idea i know
Idk like i said it could just be me being picky but I just don't like that and think there are some ways to change that
This is just my opinion and rambling though so lemme know what you think maybe im missing something or you preffer them that way Id love to hear others opinion since I know there are ppl out there who put alot more thinking abt the mouseverse than i did and probably ever will
ye
#mickey mouse#Mouseverse#Mickey mouse comics#phantom blot#the phantom blot#character design#rambling#critisism#mickey and friends#disney comics#<< very much not Public domain use
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Hii can I request ranpo and chuuya with an s/o that has a kitsune type ability? like they can turn into one fully and can also semi transform with just the ears and tail, you can make it female or gender neutral
dang ranpo is popular LMAO not that im complaining hes my little meow meow ^_^ also i went w gn reader bc i dont write fem reader !! also u didnt say if u wanted hcs or not but i went w hcs if u wanted drabbles or fics feel free to ask again !!
WARNINGS: a bit suggestive in chuuyas but nothing explicit
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chuuya and ranpo with a kitsune ability user s/o
chuuya
kitsune are born tricksters, being yokai, and those with kitsune abilities are certainly no different ! while your affinity for practical jokes may grate on chuuya, you are still his s/o at the end of the day
(he would NOT be dating you if he didnt want to trust me)
when you’re partially transformed (or fully transformed) he tries to watch how loud he gets since he’s not very good at volume control and he doesn’t want to hurt your ears
he likes to scratch behind your ears or pet your tail !! he does it mindlessly tbh, even though he can’t feel your fur through his gloves he likes hearing you react or feeling your ears/tail twitch
he also likes hearing and seeing your foxlike mannerisms ! he can always tell if somebody is getting on your nerves because of your gekkering, and he’s particularly fond of when you nuzzle up to him or the way you ‘shadow’ him (trailing behind him)
chuuya probably has a book or two on his bookshelf about fox mannerisms just so he understands your body language a bit better
one thing he had to get used to was just how talkative you were. foxes are very social creatures, and much of that crossed over into your personality
luckily for you, he likes listening to you talk
if you have claws, he thinks thats really cool (he's into it in a sexy way)
the shapeshifting throws him off not gonna lie. especially because you're so smart as a result of your ability. however he loves watching you mess with people by turning into other people
ranpo
ranpo is 100% THE BEST audience for your illusion tricks. he will sit next to you/in your lap/literally anywhere he can see you and demand that you do your silly little illusory tricks
he thinks your fox form is absolutely precious. he loves petting you and carrying you around on his shoulders
joins in on your pranks all the time fr !! he helps you make them more unpredictable
so far, you've gotten everybody in the agency... except dazai, who keeps seeing through your plans. you've gotten ranpo, but he 'let you' (you aren't sure if he actually did)
mimics your fox noises ! you start yapping ? he yaps back. you bark ? he barks right back !
hes been a play wrestler ever since he found out that it's a way that fox kits blow off steam. any form of physical touch is a big yes for him, but especially wrestling. it's the only way he expends energy he doesn't absolutely have to
(its probably nostalgic for you, since you likely would have done it as a child/right when your ability presented)
prank wars are common between you two as well !!
he's talkative ! he loves talking and you two will frequently go on dates where you just infodump at each other over a meal
he likes to play with your tail and ears a lot !!
#writing#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd x gn reader#headcanons#percys silly hcs#gn reader#gender neutral reader#chuuya x reader#chuuya x y/n#chuuya x you#chuuya x gn!reader#ranpo x y/n#ranpo x reader#ranpo x you#ranpo x gn!reader
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why lyney x aether just makes sense
no traveller ship has ever rlly worked to me (other than ayaka bc it was very heavily hinted in canon) UNTIL TODAY. HERE IS MY FORMAL DISSERTATION ON WHY LYNETHER WORKS
neither of them have pairs - genshin purposefully does this thing where they pair up characters (eg: chongyun & xingqiu, jean & lisa) which is why there are so many popular ships in the fandom. i think lyney's effective pair is meant to be lynette & aether doesnt have one bc hes meant to be a player-insert but that leaves SO MUCH ROOM bc when you think about it the closest thing lyney has to a love interest IS AETHER
siblings - both of them are elder brothers and both are TWINS . they also both have a youngest sibling figure (freminet and paimon; dont tell me paimon isnt a younger sister figure bc if u open a modern au ALMOST ALWAYS she is presented as "aether and lumines younger sister") their backstories are similar (losing their other half) so they canonically understand each other (There's nothing in the world I treasure more than my family, so I know what it must be like for you -Lyney, Friendship LV4) THIS LEADS INTO MY OTHER POINT
the "i see past your mask" trope - this is a very popular trope (and one that ngl kills me everytime i read it bc it preys on the human desire to be fully understood) BUT it was made for lyney . if youve watched ouran highschool host club HIKARU AND KAORUS "we are the only two who understand each other... until haruhi arrived" IS NOT DISSIMILAR TO WHAT COULD HAPPEN WITH LYNEY, LYNETTE AND AETHER . and lyney was BORN to fit this trope bc he already has the whole fake, charming, extrovert persona he puts on. ("Actually, the real me is nowhere near as outgoing or chatty as I appear. (...) I think people would feel sorry for the real me." -Lyney, friendship LV6)
narrative - a big thing about ships is they need to have a faucet for tension . like xingyun is extremely hinted in canon but its nowhere near as popular as kavetham and zhongchi. why? because theyre just childhood best friends. nothing interesting about it. zhongchi especially is hugely popular bc of the potential for reconciliation after the osial arc (zhongli's "im sorry for manipulating you. it wasnt all fake i swear" sorta thing) AND YK WHAT ELSE HAS THAT??? FURINA REVEALING LYNEY AS FATUI IN THE TRIAL "im sorry for lying about my identity. it wasnt all fake" the core that makes ships like satosugu and zhongchi tragic is the betrayal of trust, and, well... ("Nothing could make me happier than having your trust." -Lyney, Ascension 4)
binary opposition - why is satosugu so popular? probably because its the whole 'cruel murderer villain' vs 'strongest hero' trope and audienced like sun vs moon . okay . AETHER IS LITERALLY THE HONORARY KNIGHT OF MONDSTADT, HERO OF LIYUE, ENEMY OF ETERNITY, FIRST SAGE OF BUER and lyney is THE FUTURE SUCCESSOR TO THE HOUSE OF HEARTH . the villain of genshin impact (currently) is the fatui so you cant get better than this.
canon hints - even if ships would theoretically work well and have potential for tension, they need to be grounded in the source material. so does lynether have that?
"Hmm, your eyes are like topaz, precious, pure, and lovely. I like them! I've decided — I'm going to put on a show just for you."
"I thought it was the radiance of the sunlight on my skin that I felt — turns out it was your radiance all along!"
"I should probably emphasize again that I'm rarely so open with anyone — I guess it's because you're not just anyone."
"It seems we're both keenly interested in each other. Well, know that the honor is mine! Haha, relax. I couldn't ever tell lies to your mesmerizing eyes — not even if I tried!"
"Doing all this for me... Are you trying to steal this magician's heart, by any chance? Well, in that case, congratulations, my dear apprentice — or should I say, "companion." For you have succeeded!"
canonically, lyney gets upset when aether thinks abt other things when hes in fromt of him. HES LIKE A POUTING CHILD THAT GOES "pay attention to me!!!" LMFAOO
the rainbow rose, need i say more? lyney literally gets flustered when lynette brings it up too pfft
most of the stuff he says can be attributed to lyney just being a flirt but in cases like the rainbow rose scene where he literally does it BECAUSE HE KNOWS AETHER WOULDNT GET IT... there is no platonic explanation bc if there was, if it meant Friendly Love THEN THE DEVELOPERS WOULDNT HAVE ADDED THE NOTE ABOUT LYNETTE NEVER GETTING ONE considering shes the most important person to lyney...
in conclusion, ive rambled for too freaking long but THEY WORK . AND THERES ALSO POTENTIAL FOR A WHOLE LONG DISTANCE YEARNING ARC BC AETHER ALWAYS TRAVELS SO... FANFIC WRITERS CHOP CHOP
#lynaether#genshin lyney#lyney#genshin impact lyney#satosugu#zhongchi#kavetham#aether#genshin impact#genshin aether#fontaine#lynette#paimon
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If it's alright (and if it doesn't make you uncomfortable, but if it does then feel free to skip, as it's completely understandable),
Could I request a Caine, Ragatha, Zooble, and Gangle x reader (separately) where the reader might have been grieving over someone before entering.
Again, it's completely understandable if you don't want to do this one, so do whatever you feel comfortable doing.
Either way, have a good day.
Various TADC characters x grieving!reader
So so so sorry for the wait! Writers block is hitting GRRHRRGRR
Characters: caine, ragatha, zooble, gangle
Notes: reader is GN, can be seen as a platonic post or a romantic one, written on mobile soooooo
CWs: grief
CAINE
Theres a bit of a disconnect when you come to him about your feelings about the topic
It's not that he doesnt care about your feelings it's just that he doesn't fully understand the gravity. Hes an AI and as far as we know hes never lost anyone significant to him
Tries to make light of the fact you're in the circus and that some of your memories are blurred
Its... not at all as comforting as he thought it would be, especially since you seem to want to keep those memories of the person
Tries to take your mind off of things by making adventures more full of energy and chaotic
Also tries to keep your attention on him or something else to keep your mind busy... probably not the best long term solution but hes too happy for your temporary relief to stop
Admittedly not the best with emotional support but hes trying his best
RAGATHA
Very patient and understanding with you, let's you come to her whenever
Shes going through her own feelings but she doesnt have the heart to shut you out- given she canonically internalizes things as well as I personally headcanoning she has the "x has it worse, so my feelings need to come second" mindset
Let's you talk about them if it makes you feel better, getting to know who you lost makes helps give the feeling that they're still here in some way
Keeps an eye on you to make sure you're doing okay as well as checking in on you whenever you have a moment alone
Keeps what she knows to herself if you dont want it to be aired out for everyone to see
Reminds you to take care of yourself as well and to keep thriving
ZOOBLE
More of a listener than a comforter, they struggle with finding the right words to say in a situation like this
They let you know that they're paying attention to you and you're feelings though by bluntly stating so
Let's you talk about your feelings as well as the person you lost as much as you want, zooble was never much of a talker anyway so you tend to fill the silence
Let's you stay with them in their room if you need some company, even if you dont feel like talking
Becomes slightly more protective of you and is more likely to stand up for you if theres anything stressing you out
GANGLE
Very hesitant to ask questions not because she doesnt care but because she doesnt want to make you feel worse, it's such a delicate topic that she doesnt want to accidentally push you back on your healing journey or otherwise hurt you
Gets better with those feelings with time and shows that she does feel for you and your situation
Let's you draw your feelings out, you're open to all of her supplies.. or if you would like, you can write them out
If you'd like she can turn around so you can have some privacy, or she can outright leave the room if you need alone time
Can see her making a paper bouquet of flowers or something along those lines so the two of you can leave something to grieve, even if what was lost was.. lost before the circus..
A little service of sorts to help sort out your feelings and organize them, if that makes sense
#tadc x reader#the amazing digital circus x reader#digital circus x reader#tadc x you#tadc imagine#the amazing digitial circus x reader#the amaing digital circus x you#the amazing digital circus imagine#digital circus x you#digital circus imagine#caine x you#caine x reader#caine imagine#ragatha imagine#ragatha x you#ragatha x reader#zooble x reader#zooble x you#zooble imagine#gangle x reader#gangle x you#gangle imagine#canon x reader#canon x you#x reader
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I know this is something u were probably asked before but as the guy that has a good relationship with art....how do you do that??? I mean I get that this question is vague but how do you not care if it looks bad? Do you just?? Keep on going till it looks like you want it to look? Despite the agonies? You seem like you enjoy talking abt this thats why im asking, dont feel the need to answer if u dont wanna
hmmmm. You know, I don't think about the agonies much these days. But it's not that I don't care. I guess I've become a freak who sees beauty in the agonies, sorta? It's kind of complicated! I will do my best to explain!
First of all, I know that I have the unfair advantage of having no ambition. I don't have a goal for my art besides making art when I feel like it. That makes it easy to be less judgemental-- I remember having a rockier relationship to my own art during the time when I thought I would make it my career.
This is why I like talking about my perspective, though!! I think it's important to try not to let yourself be consumed by self-criticism as an artist, even if self-criticism is necessary for you, and hopefully my carefree way of looking at things can help balance things out haha.
Anyways, ambition or not-- and I know how this sounds but bear with me-- art doesn't ever look bad.
(Barring ethically harmful art, ugh, I don't want to get into ethics so just-- surely you know what I mean!!!)
Art gets a lot less stressful if you can tell yourself that no art is bad, and remember the reasoning behind that until you really believe it. It isn't a fast process, but it's very worth the work.
The truth is that art either looks how you want it to look, or it looks different from the way you want it to look, but both are ultimately neutral. You CAN make art that looks different from what you wanted, that you still feel pleased with.
When art looks different from how you wanted, the gut reaction you have is often to call it bad or get frustrated. And of course it's frustrating! Maybe you feel it's not as effective at communicating something as you'd hoped, or you feel it's not as visually impactful as you imagined...but it's important to remember those things are only your perception. Not an objective fact. And art is a two-way street! A communication between creator and observer! And communication is really weird and complicated.
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Other people's perception of your work won't ever be exactly the same as yours. Sometimes this is desireable and sometimes it isn't! Maybe your art will communicate the thing better to someone than anything they've ever seen-- even if a more effective version could theoretically exist, the "imperfect" version that actually exists and communicates is all that matters to the observer. Or, maybe a feature that turned out exactly how you wanted it to will fly completely over an observer's head, and not have the effect you wanted at all. A lot of the time, you'll never even know.
An artist can NEVER fully control an observer's perspective, so at a certain point you have to live with what you have. You already do this, to some degree, if you have ever EVER decided to stop working on a piece of art and share it. You can always keep adding to something. You can always keep editing. But sometimes, you stop. And perfection doesn't exist, so when you stop it must be because the art is good enough for now. And nothing about "good enough" is objective!
And is that really so bad? Surely people who grow fruit understand that a fruit which is smaller than they imagined can still feed somebody-- that at the very least it will feed bugs and microorganisms and be useful as fertilizer to grow more apples. Your art still means something, still accomplishes something, is still worth making whether it turns out how you imagined or not.
A lot of art is learning when to quit and move on. As a habitual perfectionist, this was something I had to learn early, to stop myself from erasing holes into every piece of paper I drew on.
There's this rule I was taught in middle school drama class: if you fuck up, act like you didn't fuck up. The audience doesn't have your script memorized, so odds are they won't have any idea you fucked up unless you tell them. Other art works the same way. No one knows what you wanted to make but you. And more importantly, a "perfect" version of your art doesn't exist (no "perfect" version of anyone's art exists, or ever will).
The version you made exists, so you have to find what's worth loving about that version. You have found what's worth loving in the imperfect art of others many times. Many observers will treat your art the same way you treat others' art. Why not treat your own art that way, too?
It sounds really REALLY corny, but I try not to think of this as embracing "mistakes." I think of it as celebrating coincidences.
I really really like coincidences. I like that every circumstance wasn't guaranteed to happen, that everything comes down to chance. I think all the little random things are beautiful because they turned out however they did, and not any of the millions of other ways things might have turned out. It's a coincidence that my genes expressed the way they did. It's a coincidence that my parents met in college. It's a coincidence that my oldest friend and I both got to middle school early every day, and stayed close even when we didn't share any classes.
Art is full of coincidences! I try to draw a straight line. The line does not turn out straight, because of the way my hand is shaped and the way my muscles contracted, because my body is not exactly like anyone else's in the world. No one else would have drawn that slightly not-straight line just exactly how I did. It's mine, and it's crookedness is what makes my art mine. Okay, maybe it's a little too crooked for what I want this time-- I'll erase it and draw a new crooked line at a bit of a different angle. There we go, I like that! Now it's my beautiful, irreplaceable crooked line! And the ghost of its predecessor guides the eye just so, and no one else's two crooked lines would guide your eye the same way, only mine! Isn't that nice on its own? Just to have made something that can't ever be replicated? To have made something no one else has ever made before?
You can also apply this in a bit less dreamy and more practical ways, I promise haha.
For example...I've never been a canvas flipper, as a digital character artist. I don't mirror my canvases to see if they still look preportional to me from either direction. I also don't usually draw visual novel character sprites that need to look good mirrored in either direction to serve their function, so it's never been a practical concern of mine.
I consider many kinds of distortion on a character I've drawn to be a good part of the visual flow of the image. Like a smear frame in animation, distoriton in the right places can make character art look dynamic and energized because it can lead the eye through a certain visual flow over the form of the character. If I were to flip the canvas, that eye-leading effect might hit differently because my American eye is used to reading from left to right-- perhaps it doesn't feel as "smooth" going in the opposite direction. This doesn't mean I need to change the distortion necessarily, it just means I prefer not to flip the canvas.
Often, these distortions aren't intentional. They're a coincidence of how my muscles move as I draw, and the areas my left-to-right American eyeballs instinctively pay more attention to. But the effect is still desireable to me. So, happy coincidence!
I think...that's the best I've got for now? Feel free to ask for clarification. I hope it's not total nonsense!
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