#and i think they focus more on matching the actual rhythm of the songs

[gamebunny-advance]

"No Straight Roads X Rhythm Heaven - BOSS RUSH Custom remix pack | Heaven studio"

So, it looks like someone beat me to getting all the songs remade in Heaven Studio XP, but I still think it's cool to see someone else's take on it~ (The thumbnail art goes so hard~)

And with Heaven Studio sniped off the web, and thus probably putting a halt on updates for the foreseeable future, I probably won't be finishing my mixes anytime soon since they depended on games that weren't implemented yet.

So, if I ever want to finish my own project, I'm probably gonna have to suck it up and swap out more of the games.

*sigh* Vs. 1010 just isn't gonna be the same without Freeze Frame...

[lj-lephemstar]

Progress Checkup! (Aug. 2024) | Scratchin' Melodii Devlog

Hello again, strangers! I thought it was about time to add another devlog again! This time I'm trying out a more in-depth approach to this, to somewhat make up for the lack of gameplay previews. Let me know what you think!

For starters, I've revamped the rhythm system 🤯 (like... again! 🤯) Don't freak out, though. Surface level gameplay-wise, it works mostly the same as it did in the last demo, so you won't have to re-learn much. I just needed to redo some things so it'd be easier for me to work with in the long-run while developing the rest of the game. Way less headaches await me now when working on new levels. In the process, I was also able to incorporate some neat new aspects to it and make the core aspects of it better. If you're familiar with older rhythm games, it's now a tad closer to what the dog was doing.

The opponent's icon has been covered up to avoid spoilers. I might be updating all of the character icons soon, actually.

I still plan to revamp the game's tutorial at some point. Something I've noticed is that often, new players don't seem to understand the purpose of the beat dots. Initially, I thought the idea that "on the beat dot = on beat" would come as second nature to new players without need for explanation. However, I hadn't considered that many players are likely to be more familiar with rhythm games that don't even have beat dots in this manner, so they're probably inclined to focus more on getting as close as possible to matching the order of the suggested inputs, and in this game, even at the cost of being off-beat if they aren't keeping up. So, I think the most important thing I need to emphasize when I give a new in-game explanation of the mechanics is the beat dots and really getting new players into the mindset of prioritizing the tempo. I think I should also have the tutorial's gameplay portion try to discretely get the player used to the control scheme to help people who haven't particularly memorized where all of their controller's buttons are without looking. This'll probably result in the tutorial song shown in the demo being replaced in the full game. I do still like its instrumental though, so maybe that will be repurposed for another game feature, at least.

There's probably some guy out there who just REALLY loves Astral Advisory as the tutorial song that will be very upset to hear this. In solidarity with them, I've depicted their enthusiasm with this rather silly image I've created.

As for other levels, now that I've got the updated rhythm system up and running, the 3rd rival battle of act 2 is almost complete. If you didn't like the Pow-Notes in Supastar Tennis, you might not like me very much after this! So far, I think this level has some of the best and most ambitious animation work I've done yet, so I hope you'll look forward to it. Not sure when I'll show a gameplay preview of this level, but I probably will at some point.

Also, I've made a new logo for the game! I'll gradually be phasing this one in to replace the old one, but until the full game releases you'll probably still see the old one hanging around too in some places.

That's all I can talk about for now, but thanks for reading! - LJ

[im-a-king-baby]

I was just watching videos of Omar on tour and it reminded me of ELYN. The way he is on stage is so ELYN vibe. I feel like I’m watching the chaos tour haha (minus the negative stuff)

<3 <3 <3 Hiiiii, thank you!!! It's been fun to see all the pictures and videos coming from the concerts and play spot the difference with my mental pictures of Simme. (Sadly I haven't been able to go, very rude of Omar not to go to Australia on his Europe tour. We're in Eurovision! That makes us basically part of Europe.)

Also since you reminded me of it and my November resolution was to try to post more things, here is a Simme Chaos tour snippet that is (mostly) the positive stuff <3 😅

(And for the reblogs, this is a prequel snippet to Everybody Loves You Now @ AO3)

He has his first solo concert in Europe. Not counting the promo events, or the industry shows, or the monopolized Open Mic Nights.

The first show in a concert venue, which was booked in advance, with tickets sold that have his name on them, printed in all-caps.

Of course it’s tiny compared to the stadium they were in last night opening for Ariana. A theatre most used for plays with a single bathroom backstage in place of a dressing room and where Candace had had to drag them all out to the alley where the van was parked for the pre-show pep-talk so they couldn’t be heard on stage over the support act.

But Simon has a support act now. There are other solo shows booked, in and around the Ariana dates. Every day Candace is making calls and emailing contacts and adding things to the calendar pinned up on the inside of the van. Filling up all the gaps.

Which is good. It’s great. They’re gaining momentum and Simon is getting better at jumping from show to interview to show, at catching sleep in bursts crammed between commitments, at finding products that cover up the exhaustion on his face. And now he’s got a solo show, and Candace is In Talks about the second album that he might be able to work with a songwriter to put his own songs on, and he’s in Europe again for the first time in… months.

“This could be the start of bigger things,” Candace had said in the alley, while Simon bounced on his toes to keep warm, already dressed in his show outfit of a black mesh tank and jeans slashed open on the sides. “So drink it all in tonight, we’re only going bigger from here.”

He’d thought he was used to it by now, the noise of the crowd, the sight of phone lights spread out before him like stars, but it turns out it’s different when they’re all there for him. When they’re screaming his name before he’s even stepped on stage, rather than him having to slowly win them over. When he runs out onto the stage and the screaming ramps up and hits like a wall and he can feel the smile stretching at his cheeks that he can’t even pretend to hold back. He might cry, actually has to sniff a few times, turning away from the crowd to pull himself together.

There were so many moments he thought he wouldn’t get to have this. When the label said his songs weren’t good enough, when the graphs showed sales were falling, the shows where he opened and the crowd barely seemed to notice, the phone call in Texas to ask what the plans were for the tour break only to get Rachel’s Assistant ‘Ms McKenzie has decided to cull her list and focus on acts with more commercial appeal.’

“Sim-me! Sim-me! Sim-me!” The crowd chants, falling into rhythm and his heart seems to speed up to match Sim-me Sim-me and it doesn’t matter that it’s three hundred people rather than ten thousand, he spins around to the mic and there’s enough light from the spots and the phones to pick out faces. Girls with glitter dots around their eyes, boys in black eyeliner edged with gold, people in Simme T-shirts, waving signs saying DANCE LIKE THIS, people who came to his show who traveled and paid money and got dressed up because they wanted to see him.

“Oh my god, hi. Hello. Hi. I love you.” There was a script, he thinks, but he has absolutely no idea what it said. It’s only thanks to the set-list taped to the floor by his mic stand that he can even remember what he’s meant to sing. “Hello Cologne. This is the first official show of what I think we’re all agreed is the Chaos Tour.”

They laugh along with him and they cheer and Simon can only hope he’s still capable of singing around this wild, insane grin on his face because it absolutely isn’t going away. “Thank you for coming. Thank you for supporting me. The fact that I’m here, the fact that we can do this at all, is all because of you talking and filming and sharing and streaming and this was my dream for so long I can’t say thank you enough for making it come true.”

The fight is lost, the fight is over, he is absolutely crying as they scream again, someone shouts 'Simmers forever,' and more people shout 'Simme,' and the exhaustion melts away like it was never there.

He’s not cold, or tired, or lonely, or afraid. It feels like getting his song picked for the jubilee, like seeing Wilhelm running after Sara’s car, like everything.

“Now I hope you’re all here to dance,” he says. “Because all of us up here, We Wanna Dance.”

Kevan hits the intro, the backing track hits the beat, and every single person in front of him starts singing. Every word, thrown back at him. Screaming, applauding, chanting his name.

And it’s all worth it. Whatever it takes. To have this.

[dansconcepts]

GI Roleswap AU - Meeting Venti

"I am the last one." The yaksha- who's actually Venti, who knew?- admits. 

You seem pretty lighthearted about it was Aether’s immediate thought, but he noticed the tenseness he doesn’t often see in the bard/yaksha’s eyes, the unnatural glint of a smile that doesn’t match. His tease dies on his tongue.

However, in unsurprising Paimon fashion, she holds no such reservations as she goes, “You don’t seem the least bit upset about that!”

Venti's eyes immediately narrow, but his smile grows even wider, if that were possible. “Don’t tell me how I feel.” He hisses out, words dipped in honeyed poison.

“EEP!” Paimon screeches. The fairy’s head frantically bobs up and down. “Got it! Loud and clear!” 

Yet under her breath, she murmurs, “to think the bard can be so scary like that… what a terrifying change!” 

Venti’s eyes glare impassively at the small being, and she immediately freezes, wondering if he heard. 

The yaksha turns away. He has a more settled gaze, with an actual frown. She lets out a sigh of relief. Aether watches them, calculating. 

“If that’s all you needed, I best take my leave! Oh, to depart from you is quite the relief!"

"HEY! WHAT DO YOU MEAN RELIEF?!"

"Ehe~! Bye-bye Traveler and your little pet!" The bard waves in lieu of answering. Almost like an afterthought, he adds, "You're pretty decent for a human!"

And he disappears with a sudden breeze of the wind.

[Some angsty Venti in the form of the flute scene because Xiaoven under the cut]

Is this how he dies? 

The silence blares louder than his pained gasps of breath. Each sharp intake bleeds out of him like the gashes he's taken. His head pounds to a jarring rhythm, lyrics growled and snarled at him as they take delight in his pathetic attempts to stand up and find his lyre. 

He'd honestly cry out, if his throat was able to. Yet it feels like even that, too, is torn apart, and his tears flow more freely than he'll ever be able to feel. 

It certainly flows better than his rhymes. He snorts.

He honestly could use the rest, eternal as it’ll be. So many of his friends have done so already.  Vennessa… Dvalin… 

He wonders if there will be anyone who would tell the tale of the death of the final, and last, Yaksha. The one who sung lullabies to entrap monsters into eternal slumber. The one who used the winds to carry a voice razor sharp in both wit and piercing with wordplay. The one only seen by a few and trapped by the contract he had signed, dying on the same soil he vowed to protect. 

Voices grow louder with their resentment. Crescendos, really, until everything means nothing. All of it.

He is so tired.

This is what he deserves. He aches to close his eyes.

Yet he doesn't.

A soft melody calls to his soul. To his role. To the body that lays still, so unlike himself who never stops dancing to a phantom beat.

He is certain it belongs to a flute. 

Yet what flute's songs can drown out screams? What flute was a serenade, coaxing the burning of the wounds to soothe, the thoughts in his head to rest, letting himself focus on the forefront of his mind?

A stunning clarity did the flute bring. Even with his... talents, he cannot produce such a sound. Its playing coos at him, reaching out a metaphorical hand from its composer. 

It was unlike any song he's heard before, and he knows so many over the years from purely seeking it out. 

He wants to stand and cry and laugh and cry again.

So unlike his music.

Music acting to save, not to kill. 

He knows not of anyone, either archon, mortal, or adeptus, that plays an instrument like this flute.

However, he's presented the answer when the song reaches a bridge of calm, of promise, and of a cool caress against his cheek. Wind! 

He's taken, higher and higher, and he laughs. He laughs, even with the blood drying on his skin. He laughs, because he is weightless, and has heard the most beautiful thing in his whole lifetime. He doesn't want to let it go. 

The beauty of this world rushes through him, and suddenly he wants nothing more than to experience more of it. To remember it. The now and the then. Maybe even the potential of a future just as beautiful.

And, as if praising him, he feels the wind slowly die down around him, gently setting him back on the ground. 

It spins around him. His braids float with it. His hand trails after the winds with a giggle, before it drops something in his hand.

A Vision.

An Anemo Vision.

He recalls the name from his Lord Tartaglia, mentioned offhandedly with an indifferent shrug, slightly terse on his lips.

"Alatus." He breathes. The name of his saviour. 

And the music stops. Yet the wind- or perhaps it was himself, really- keeps the melody stuck in his head. 

It hasn't ceased. He doesn't want it to.

He doesn't ever try to replicate it. 

[subskz]

Hi hi again! 🫧 back just to say a few things !

I just wanted to say that I love your writing style, it just always makes me feel so immersed in the story! I also love and adore how sweet you are on your blog, it makes me feel rlly comfy and makes me look forward to your uploads even more!! Lately I’ve been struggling with motivation to continue writing and actually post more frequently, and I was just wondering if you had any tips for motivation! I’ve lacked motivation and time and I mean I know you can’t help on the time aspect but I was hoping maybe you had some advice for motivation! 🫶🫶

helloo welcome back angel! i hope you’ve been doing well ^_^

first off thank you so much u flatter me 😭 that’s smth i value a lot so it means a lot to me that you think so! and i’m so glad you feel comfortable here as well! you always have such sweet things to say, i really appreciate you n all your lovely words of support ♡

abt the struggles w motivation, i definitely understand where you’re coming from. i think it’s pretty natural for everyone who writes to go through periods where you're either overflowing w ideas, or you have to drag yourself to your wip kicking and screaming 😭 in my experience, the hardest part is almost always just getting yourself started. once you encourage yourself to begin writing, even if you only get a little bit done, it’s still progress! more often than not, you’ll end up naturally gaining momentum and before you know it you’ve written way more than you’d anticipated!

a smart way to go abt it may be to tell yourself that you don’t have to complete a lot in one sitting, just write what you can without any expectations and eventually you’ll find your rhythm. if you’re having trouble getting through a certain scene or section, a trick i sometimes use is to write out lines of dialogue or actions that i know for sure i want to include later on. if there’s a part you have planned that you’re really excited to write, try writing it out first and then ask yourself how you’ll get from point a to point b. this method can be super useful bc if you’re very invested in the scene, it’ll be much more enjoyable for you to write and you may feel more compelled to fill in the gaps surrounding it afterwards!

other forms of media can also play a big role in getting you motivated! music especially is one of the best ways to get yourself excited abt the piece you're working on in my opinion. listening to songs where the lyrics match really well with the scenario you're writing and/or the feelings you're trying to convey, or even listening to instrumentals that cultivate the right atmosphere, can work wonders for your drive to write and even provide you with new ideas. music is one of the most powerful motivators for me!

another thing i want to mention is that a good chunk of my fics were requests from my old blog! if you’re the type of person who might benefit from knowing that someone is waiting on a fic from you, then taking requests from ppl could be worth a shot! it can also help stimulate your creativity if the requester has a specific thing in mind they’d like you to include in the work. ofc, if you feel like it would only stress you out to have the expectation of completing it hanging over your head, then definitely avoid doing that to yourself. all in all it should be a (mostly) fun experience so don’t push yourself too hard if you’ve tried everything you can and still feel no inspiration to finish a certain wips. if there’s a story you’ve been dying to tell, focus on that and be as self-indulgent as you want! whenever you’re enjoying yourself, it often translates into the writing 🥰

apologies for the colossal response 😭 but i hope it makes sense and can help you out somehow! best of luck babe i’ll be cheering for you <3

[tsumuus]

best friend | atsumu miya

'i wanna be your favorite boy'

a/n b VERY VERY loosely based off of "Best Friend" by Rex Orange County. like i had about 40 different songs in mind while writing this. not proof read.

warnings none, enjoy !

w/c >900

masterlist

The first time Atsumu Miya laid eyes on you, he knew you were different. It wasn't just because you were his twin brother Osamu's best friend, but because there was something about your smile that made his heart race in a way it never had before. It was the first day of high school, and while Osamu was busy introducing you to their circle of friends, Atsumu found himself quietly watching from the sidelines.

You were so at ease with Osamu, laughing at his jokes, nudging him playfully. Atsumu envied that bond, wishing he could be the one to make you smile like that. But he knew better than to meddle; Osamu was his brother, and you were his best friend.

As the days turned into weeks, Atsumu found himself becoming more and more captivated by you. He would steal glances at you during lunch, his heart swelling whenever you laughed at something Osamu said. He'd stay up late, replaying moments from the day in his head, wondering if you noticed him in the same way he noticed you.

But Atsumu was nothing if not loyal to his brother. He knew how much you meant to Osamu, and he didn't want to risk ruining their friendship. So he kept his feelings to himself, locking them away in the deepest parts of his heart.

High school passed in a blur of volleyball games, late-night study sessions, and the steady rhythm of daily life. Atsumu's feelings for you only grew stronger, more persistent. Every interaction, every shared moment, became a bittersweet reminder of what he couldn't have.

He became an expert at hiding his emotions, perfecting the art of the casual smile and indifferent shrug. But there were moments when his mask slipped. Like the time you stayed over at their house for a movie night, and he caught himself staring at you, lost in the way your eyes sparkled in the dim light. Or the time you hugged him after a particularly intense volleyball match, and he had to remind himself to let go before his heart gave away his secret.

Osamu remained blissfully unaware, wrapped up in his own world. He often talked about you, recounting your shared adventures and inside jokes. Each story was a dagger to Atsumu's heart, a reminder of the line he couldn't cross.

Graduation came and went, and life moved forward. You and Osamu remained close, your bond unbroken by the passage of time. Atsumu, now playing volleyball professionally, found solace in the game, pouring his heart into every match. But no matter how much he tried to focus on his career, thoughts of you lingered at the edges of his mind.

It wasn't until a few years after high school that Atsumu finally reached his breaking point. It was a quiet evening, and he and Osamu were sitting on the porch, sharing a rare moment of peace. Atsumu had been unusually silent, the weight of his unspoken feelings pressing down on him.

"Hey, 'Samu," Atsumu began, his voice hesitant. "Can I ask ya something?"

Osamu looked up, curiosity in his eyes. "Sure, what's up?"

Atsumu took a deep breath, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. "It's about yn."

Osamu's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What about yn?"

Atsumu looked away, unable to meet his brother's gaze. "I've... I've sort of had feelings for yn for a long time. Since high school, actually. But I didn't want to say anything because... well, you're their best friend. And I didn't want to mess that up."

For a moment, there was only silence. Then, Osamu let out a low whistle. "Damn, "Tsumu. I had no idea."

Atsumu finally looked up, his eyes pleading. "Do ya think... do ya think it's okay if I tell yn? I don't want to ruin anything between you two."

Osamu was quiet for a moment, his expression thoughtful. Then, he smiled, clapping a hand on Atsumu's shoulder. "You're my brother, Tsumu. And yn is important to me too. If ya have feelings for them, I think you should tell them. I want ya to be happy. So if it's my blessing you're asking for, ya got it."

Relief washed over Atsumu, a weight lifting from his shoulders. "Thanks, 'Samu. That means a lot."

Osamu grinned. "Just don't screw it up, okay?"

Armed with his brother's blessing, Atsumu knew it was time to act. He arranged to meet you at a quiet café, his heart pounding in his chest. As you walked in, smiling warmly, Atsumu felt a mixture of excitement and fear.

You took a seat across from him, your eyes curious. "Hey, 'Tsumu. What's up? You seemed pretty serious on the phone."

Atsumu took a deep breath, his hands trembling slightly. "There's something I need to tell ya, yn. Something I've been keeping to myself for a long time."

Your expression turned concerned. "What is it?"

Atsumu looked into your eyes, summoning all his courage. "I've liked ya for a long time. Since high school, actually. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to come between you and Osamu. But... I can't keep it to myself anymore."

For a moment, you were silent, processing his words. Then, a soft smile spread across your face. "'Tsumu, I had no idea. I thought you only saw me as 'Samu's best friend."

"So... does that mean you might feel the same way?"

You reached across the table, taking his hand in yours. "I've always cared about you, Atsumu. Maybe I was just waiting for you to say something."

Atsumu's smile was radiant, his heart full. "Well, I'm glad I finally did."

[gam3rgurl]

First post

Jordan Kantor 

Professor Cavitt 

ENC 1102 

29 Feb 2024 

Gaming Hurts? 

Hello everyone Gamergurl here! For my first official post I wanted to discuss the stigma around gaming being bad or unhealthy for you. Since my blog will go in depth about specific games, I think it is important to go over some broader topics of gaming first to touch the surface of gaming before we really get into it. One of the biggest stigmas around gaming is how it can be dangerous for you in different ways. These ways can range from health- both mental and physical, exposure to insensitive topics such as violence or nudity and of course the gam chats with strangers. While all of these issues are very real and genuine concerns, I am going to focus on how gaming is actually good for you today. 

  To begin, I would like to go over rhythm games first. These games are typically in the style of point and click to match up with a song. These games are good for reaction time. They stimulate the brain and improve hand eye coordination skills. These skills are also building blocks for more hands on or intense games such as shooter games. The National Institute of Health published an article that states “The researchers found that the children who reported playing video games for three or more hours per day were faster and more accurate on both cognitive tasks than those who never played. They also observed that the differences in cognitive function observed between the two groups was accompanied by differences in brain activity. Functional MRI brain imaging analyses found that children who played video games for three or more hours per day showed higher brain activity in regions of the brain associated with attention and memory than did those who never played”. This not only shows how gaming is good for brain development but regular tasks. Memory and reflex demanding games cause the player to exercise these muscles in the brain. While they may or may not realize it, they are doing an activity that is good for their brain and themselves. 

  Gaming is an outlet in so many ways. It can be used for inspiration and a way to express emotions. Personally, if I am in a bad mood or just need a pick me up, I will get online. An easy way to get out anger or sadness is channeling it into a game. An article done by the American Psychological Association states “Simple games that are easy to access and can be played quickly, such as "Angry Birds," can improve players' moods, promote relaxation and ward off anxiety, the study said. "If playing video games simply makes people happier, this seems to be a fundamental emotional benefit to consider," said Granic. The authors also highlighted the possibility that video games are effective tools for learning resilience in the face of failure. By learning to cope with ongoing failures in games, the authors suggest that children build emotional resilience they can rely upon in their everyday lives”. Video games can be calming even though they are known for intense emotions. There are many games that fall into the category of “indie”. These games are typically very calming and have soothing music with slow gameplay. These games are a nice alternative to other stress relievers. Personally, when I am upset or need to get some emotions out, I channel those feelings into an intense game. For me these games are FPS or First Person Shooter. Something in the games relieves that violence I built up and lets it out in a healthy way. Games are also a controlled setting to allow emotions out.   Many games can actually teach you life lessons. My favorite example of this is the GTA franchise. For those of you who are not familiar with these games, you play as a character in story mode or a free roam world option. There are missions where you complete heists, robberies, shootings and more. While all of this sounds reckless and like a horrible idea for a child to have access to, this game has repercussions or consequences. If you break another persons car you have to pay for it with your personal in game currency. Cops can come and get you for doing these bad things such as robberies. And while doing these bad things is the objective of the game, there is the reminder that punishments await. This almost reinstalls the fact that these actions are bad and should only be committed online in a game. An example of a life lesson in games that I like is the don't give up and keep persisting aspect. The Harvard Buisness Review uploaded an article which mentions “Video games can be repetitive. You might fight the same monsters again and again to level up. You might run around for hours collecting sticks just to build one weapon. You might make tons of progress, only to fail at the last moment and be sent back to square one. Games take patience. The same can be said for work, and our lives in general — it can feel repetitive at times. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Think about it — if we didn’t enjoy the small, mundane moments of video games, what would be left? The patience and hard work are what make the glorious cut scenes, rare achievements, and final fights worth it”. These are some lessons that adults have a hard time with, learning this at a young age can be very beneficial for you in the long run. 

Gaming is a way for many people to remain social. Gaming can allow you to connect with many people all over and create unique relationships. I personally have made some great friendships with people online. These relationships may be online but they are very real. As someone with anxiety, I find it easy to talk online. Hiding my face and detailed information about myself can be freeing. These people do not know who you are or what you look like etc. They only know what you tell them. For my senior year of high school I did all of my classes online. I did not do zoom so I had no contact with any classmates or anyone else but the teacher. This made it difficult for me to remain social. I found myself mainly socializing with my online friends. I was able to spend more time on my computer so it was easier for me to see what was going on online already. I would sit in calls with my friends or take mini game breaks in between subjects and assignments. This would be a distresses method for me and a way for me to calm down during class almost like a rest period in between classes. Since I also do have a hard time making friends out in public, this method of connecting with others was super easy for me and comfortable. An article by GEICO states “Past research involving children found that those who played more video games were more likely to have good social skills, perform better academically, and to have built better relationships with other students because of the social and collaborative component to some types of games”. This shows that people who play games are better at being social. 

  It may be hard to believe, but gaming can be a job .There is a broad spectrum of employment that falls under the term “gaming”. This can be from coding and designing to actually playing games for a living. The more common jobs related to gaming are jobs like game design, animation, game development etc. Or there are jobs to play games professionally. This is definitely an interesting career and not one that many can get into. I know this myself because I am trying. I stream on Twitch. It is definitely easier to make this a career if you are very good at a specific game because then people will watch you for the top tier gameplay. Unfortunately, I am not nearly good enough to be considered a pro in any game. My content turns towards funny rather than good. I still try very hard but I know that I am no pro yet. I like to consider my content as a road to success as I am working on improving as I make content. I have been streaming for quite some time now and I just try to have fun with it. At first I tried to be as good as I possibly could, but that got tiring really fast. It is not easy always trying to be the best at any given moment. I learned that as I went on. Now I just have fun and enjoy my time. Trying to be the best took all of the fun out of gaming for me. Once you reach a certain mindset in competitive gaming many people just seem to loose interest, I was a victim to this phenomenon. 

  To conclude, gaming has a natural negative stigma surrounding it. Gaming actually is not a harmful activity. It has many benefits both physical and mental. It can be a source of inspiration or an outlet for emotions. It can be a way to express yourself in many ways. Games can teach you real life applicable facts or skills. I myself use gaming for fun, money and a way to express myself. Nothing is better than that winning feeling you get from a victory or the endless laughs with strangers online.  

SOURCES 

[sublimeobservationarcade]

Songs For Golf

Have you ever hummed a few tunes whilst playing golf? I have found that it can help with maintaining a good swing tempo throughout the round. There is music in them moves necessary to play golf, you just have to find it. Of course, a lot of popular tunes come with lyrics and this is where the fun starts. If you begin thinking about applicable words that match with your golfing a whole universe of possibilities opens up. So, here are a few of my favourites to keep the topic humming along. Songs for golf and words worth swinging along to on any given Saturday, Sunday, and golf day ending in ‘y’.

Lyrics To Love Swinging Along To

‘Hit me with your rhythm stick’ is one of my most loved lyrical statements applicable to golf. A great song from a great time in pop culture and a perfect description of the golf club. Now, it may pertain more to having sex in the original meaning of the song, but as many of us know golf can take over as we get older in terms of more frequently used tools in life’s arsenal. Ian Dury was a great performer and someone with a disability – proving that it takes all sorts and that no one should be judged on that basis as wanting. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WGVgfjnLqc

Words Worth Humming When Golfing

‘Hit me with your best shot’ is another in a similar vein, which I love to remind myself of before an important shot out on the golf course. Pat Benatar had the hit song and stopped performing it because of the mass shootings in America. It was written by Eddie Schwartz, who claimed it was inspired by a pillow punching therapy session.

'Why men leave home' by Avery by Library of Congress is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0 Beat The Boring Bits With A Golf Song Yes, golf can go on for nearly 5 hours and I reckon I get a bit bored at times out there. Not being a naturally robotic character I can struggle to maintain concentration over the distance. I would posit that I am not alone in this state of affairs. We love the game of golf but it can wear out its welcome for periods during the round. Whistling or humming a tune with a memorable lyric can help maintain the rage. Never underestimate the musicality inherent in the golf swing. Tuning it to a bit of a chorus line can turbo charge your tempo and rhythm to keep you going for all 18 holes.

Photo by Jopwell on Pexels.com Actual Golf Songs, Really? Now, there are a few actual golf songs like Bing Crosby’s “Straight Down The Middle”, which is well worth listening to. Bing had a great sense of rhythm and timing, which must have helped his golf game. There are some who claim that Tom Jones’ “Green, Green Grass Of Home” has as a title link to golf but I don’t know about that. Wales is pretty green per se, because it rains all the time. Jimmy Buffett has penned “Tin Cup Chalice”, which is another stretch to believe that the tin cup is actually about golf. John Denver has “18 Holes” and there is no doubt that this ditty is about golf. However, personally I won’t be humming this whilst golfing – an execrable tune!

Four women on a golf by Rijksmuseum is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0 One of the greatest golf songs is Loudon Wainwright III’s “The Back Nine”, the lyrics of which I included in my first book - The Golf Book: Green Cathedral Dreams. This is musically a fine effort and lyrically poignant, as much of Loudon’s stuff always is. The song captures the intergenerational nature of golfing as a pastime between fathers and sons, plus the peccadillos of the game itself. Aren’t we all – ‘way over par’? Modern poetry for golf backed by some cool sounds. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF16yj6qzOI What are some of your favourite songs to sing along to or just hum out on the golf course? Have you twigged to the fact that when you do this, you, often, swing better and play good golf? Wisdom from The Stoic Golfer: Finding Inner Peace & Focus on the Fairway by Robert Sudha Hamilton Available at Amazon or right here below. Read the full article

[onlinekitsune]

mc who is obsessed with a rhythm game (omswd)

this might be a little odd of a head cannon thing but oh well :D i have been playing project sekai + omswd a lot recently so why not combine them!! also influenced by the one scene in the omswd anime (о´∀`о) also also please let me know if the like small font option is too hard to read and such! i don’t want to make things hard for ppl to read but i’ve seen people’s posts look aesthetically pleasing and i wanted to try !!

MAMMON ; finds you completely focused on your phone screen, is very curious and maybe a bit jealous of the possibility that you’re talking to someone so intently, looks over your shoulder to just see your rhythm game, almost instantly teases you about it, you hand him your phone so he can try it, gets hooked in almost instantly. tries so very hard to beat your high score, gets demolished almost every time, you two take turns on your phone just playing together, mammon is not immune to gacha (another debt added to the list)

LEVIATHAN ; you brought up the game once while hanging out with him, he gets very excited, makes you add him the very moment after you mentioned it, you show each other the gacha you’ve pulled, it’s almost terrifying how much ssr cards he has of his favorite character, absolute rhythm game god btw, probably has full comboed all his fav idols’ songs, when there’s an event you better bet he’s getting top 100, he’d ask you to tier with him and you’d end up exhausted somehow

SATAN ; hears you furiously tapping your screen and is curious who you were talking to, peeks over your shoulder only to see rhythm notes fly down your screen, is mostly curious about your reaction to it, tried it once on easy mode, saw you try it on master and was impressed, he would read beside you while you play bc the tapping would be oddly satisfying to hear

LUCIFER ; sees you + mammon + leviathan at the dining table just tapping at your screens, lectures the three of you, if only you three had the same focus for your studies, you show him the game and he puts on his famous ‘this is immature it’s not my kinda thing’ facade, downloads it in secret and is actually obsessed with it, keeps is a secret of course, until you see him playing on his own, is very very embarrassed, you keep his secret and ask him to play with you

ASMODEUS ; another victim curious about what kept you so glued to your phone, you show him and at first he’s not sold, that was until you showed him some of the outfits and idols, that was it for him, admired their outfits and got inspired to make outfits similar to theirs, he’d ask you occasionally if there were any new cards with cute outfits for inspiration

BEELZEBUB ; minor spoilers for the anime, was an easier game than the matching emotion one mammon showed him that’s for sure, he wouldn’t be absolutely captivated but would play casually on your phone, mostly liked hearing you talk about it, if there was any cooking mechanic or anything food related he’d be more interested, if there was a special dish in it he would want to make it, you’d help with that

BELPHEGOR ; thinks it’s dumb and thinks your odd for liking it, yet he has it downloaded and is playing once you show him, his opinion begins to change within time, to a more ‘neutral’ stance, the game and idols are fine not like he cares about them or whatever (he does), gets very attached to one idol/idol band etc, would want to tier with you if the event was focused on his favorite

[hotwings0203]

fighter Bakugo is so mean!!…..write more of him plz 🤲 (ALSO I LOVE UR STORIES SO MUCHH❤️)

OOOUUUU TYSMMM I’m glad you’re enjoying him hehe

Alright let’s see here…

Tw:noncon, implied death, assault, gaslighting

He forces you to come to every one of his matches, after he has his way with you.

It doesn’t matter how brutal the fight is, it didn’t matter if you’re flinching every time his fists make contact with the poor schmuck’s face, knowing damn well that any day it could be yours. It doesn’t matter if he’s shaking off pieces of broken teeth from his hair while you’re clutching your stomach and puffing your cheeks, and it sure as hell doesn’t matter when others clamor around you asking if you were okay, if you needed a doctor.

None of that mattered, because in the end all those scenarios ended the same way: with one of his feet planted on the unconscious body below him, a fist in the air and a mean smile straight at you.

You weren’t allowed to excuse yourself to the restroom or close your eyes when the men around him scream and need at him to either stop the match or to keep going Bakugo, knock the bastard out.

And when he won the match-which was every time-he would make a beeline straight towards your cowering, backing-away form and yank you by your wrist into the office to let out his excess adrenaline.

Your cries could be heard from the entire basement.

On one particular day however, you stop your compliance. It’s when you catch a glimpse of Katsuki’s opponent for the next day.

He’s a young man, no more older than you were.

He’s a meek guy, his smile is oh-so reminiscent of the man you used to like before Bakugo put him in the morgue.

You can’t have a repeat of last time. He doesn’t stand a chance.

“What’s got you all quiet today,” he gruffly asks you as he wraps a hand with tape.

You bite your lip and look at your feet. What’s the best way to go about this?

“You, um…y’know that guy that you’re supposed to fight today?”

“Yeah, what about it?” He raises an eyebrow in warning.

But you continue nonetheless. It’s not like your destiny was flock to change, hed still fuck you up regardless of what you do.

“He just seemed kind of…young.” You stammer and avoid eye contact.

It’s hard not to flinch when he stops wrapping his hand and walks over towards you. He crouches to your sitting position on the bed and lowers his head to look at your gaze on the ground.

“‘That remind you of someone?”

Crap. He’s not as stupid as you hoped for.

This time, you do look up at him, eyebrows scrunched together in a pleading way, and he laughs in your face at your pathetic state.

“Lemme guess, you don’t want me to fight him?”

You nod your head.

“Well, what do I get out of it in return?”

Your eyes widen as you comprehend what he’s saying. Was there actually a chance he’d listen to you?

“Hello? Answer me dumbass.”

Oh, right.

“Um, what-what would you like?” Fingers cross behind your back as you pray to anyone listening that he won’t ask for anything derogatory.

It’s almost laughable that you don’t know him well enough by now.

Bakugo walks around the bed and settles himself against the headboard, legs spread and arms crossed over behind his head. He smirks at you and nudges you with his toe.

“Dance for me.”

“D-dance? What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he sits up and leans towards you, his smile all teeth and cutthroat undertones, “I want you to shake your ass on my dick and give me a lap dance.”

Fire rushes to your face at his crude choice of words. You open your mouth to argue but stop when his unwrapped hand flexes, bones popping in place as he inspects it casually.

He doesn’t need to say anymore to get his point across. But if you had any doubts as to who was the one who wanted a chance in the first place, he reminds you with a curt “You can always say no. I’ll let you walk out this door and you can just watch me beat the living daylights out of him,” he shrugs and says it so easily, so casually that you’d think he was informing you of the weather.

You swallow hard and shakily rise to your feet.

Katsuki already locked the door, so you don’t need to worry about anyone coming in. You look at him and take a deep breath.

“How do I, like, y’know.”

He stares at you for a moment and bursts out howling , the bellowing sound echoing across the small room and making your head ring.

You look at him warily as he lessens his laughter, and tries to address you.

“I knew it. You really are a brain-dead, numb cunt,” he says as he wipes his eyes from tears. “Just fucking- I don’t know, sway your hips back and forth and put it in reverse on me I guess. Arent whores supposed to be good at these things?” He leans back down comfortably and leers at you while you grimace and then back around, ass facing him.

You’ve only messed around on your own time in your room before, shaking it to slow R&B songs or fast pop ones. How do you go about this with no music?

But within a minute you gather yourself and toss your dignity away. You start imagining a beat in your head and do exactly as he instructed, swaying your sides left and right while moving your shoulders with whatever rhythm you deemed easy.

He stifles a snicker behind you, and you dig your nails into your palm. It was obvious he was trying to be completely silent just to amplify the awkwardness and humiliation tenfold, but dammit if this is what he wants then might as well get it over with.

You begin leaning forward and sticking your rear out more towards him, simultaneously rubbing your hands up and down your sides and flicking your hair with ease in his line of sight. You roll your head and roll your ass in a circle, praying it wasn’t too jerky.

Katsuki wasn’t laughing anymore.

Your confidence starts to grow again as you hear him softly inhale when you crawl backwards slowly onto the bed. You drop your hips low and arch your back, rolling your spine and lifting your ass back up into the air, shaking it in his face as best as you could.

You stay like that, letting it bounce slowly and then faster while you hear his breathing lick up. The sheets around you pull slightly towards him, and from the corner of your eye you can see his fists balling tbe covers, shaking slightly.

Looks like this was having more of an effect on him than you thought.

Just to sell it home, you lower your pelvis back and against his crotch as you begin grinding on him.

His shirts are silky and thin, and as you drag your mound up and down his imprint you can’t help but moan. The way your puffy clit catches on the elevations and ridges of his clothed dick, the feeling of his length swelling beneath your moist panties makes your head spin and all precautions are thrown out the window.

Your ass lightly claps together on his slightly thrusting hips as his breaths become pants. You feel his hands slide up your ass and onto your hips as he growls, “Teasing slut. And here you had me thinking you didn’t know what you were doing. Strip.”

Your body stills and you blanch. Your head clears a bit as his own body stops moving against yours, and you realize what position you’re about to be in.

Your head turns slightly to face him. “Kats-“

But he yanks your hair from the ends back until you’re scrambling for solid ground against his toned chest. Your fingers grab your torn strands and try to yank them out of his unrelenting grip. Your eyes well with tears of pain as he gets more aggressive with your subtle hesitation.

“I said, strip, now.” He shakes your head for good measure and you yelp when you feel more hairs ripped out of your aching skull.

“Okay! Okay, I’ll strip.” You blubber, snapping your head forward when he finally lets go.

You look back at him tearfully, hunching over into yourself as his hands guide your shirt up over your stomach and begin massaging your tits.

You hurry to take your pants off before he can wound you any more in his childlike impatience, and he grunts in approval when you’re down to your panties and no bra.

“Bend over.”

This time, you don’t argue when you go on all fours and his rough hand shoves your upper back down until you’re in an arch that’s satisfactory enough for him. He lets his fingers dance over your spine and linger when they get lower down your back.

Your upper body shakes with anticipation as all goes silent, save for his soft inhales. You can feel his digits run over the crack of your ass and lift the top of your panty line up, your labia and clit being pulled up as well.

Katsuki smirks as you weakly moan beneath him, and he tugs harder upwards just to see your ass follow in pursuit. He rubs his knuckles over the damp spot over your clothed hole and pushes in ever so slightly, just enough to make you keen and whimper.

Then, he retreats his touch.

The air is still for a moment or two as the cold absence of his touch fades.

You have no idea what he’s doing or thinking. For the second time, you try to turn your head towards him.

“Wha-“

Crack.

You scream so loud you’re sure your eardrums pop, but your focus isn’t on your poor ears, no, it’s on the raging hot burn across your right asscheek as his reddened hand swivels in its socket in a warm-up stretch. You’re experiencing for the first time what the hands of a fighter can do.

“That’s what whiny bitches like you get. And don’t you dare turn back around, otherwise I’ll whip you within an inch of your life.”

Your body freezes at those terrifying words, and you’re caught off guard when the next slap hits the same cheek. You yowl in pain and grip the sheets tighter before you, knowing that writhing away would mean so much worse.

Years of cute and open wounds and cells revealing just to open again and regrow have caused his hands to hold a similar texture to hard leather. There is no mercy, there is no soft reprieve they hold on their grasps, and you take each lashing with the reminder that he deals these kinds of blows to less fortunate men, men who don’t get a hold-back from Katsuki Bakugo.

“The next time you-crack- bitch about who I’m fighting-crack, crack- I’ll make sure to fuck you in the ring and let everyone- crack- have a turn with you- fuck, stop fucking screaming!”

He covers your wailing mouth with one hand and grips your throat in the other, bringing your head back to his seething lips.

“You wanted this, didn’t you? What’s wrong, why’re you crying so fucking much baby? Didnt you want to spare one more spineless bastard?” He croons in your ear and strokes your cheek with one finger.

You shake in his chokehold, terrified and in pain. You squeeze the tears out from your eyes and try to steady your breathing. He shushes your sobs and cooes when you hiccup against his palm.

“Hmm, Y/N? Whaddaya say, you wanna spare one more dickless wonder? Or are you gonna chicken out and save yourself?”

He chuckles darkly when you shake your head. He doesn’t need you to speak to already know your answer.

“Alright then, whatever you want. But just letting you know, I have the next match with him, so I’ll have to make this fast.”

And as he fucks you to oblivion, and fucks over his promise, you laugh to yourself for ever trusting him.

Because Katsuki Bakugo is not a lover, but rather, a fighter.

[yelena-bellova]

Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes  x fem!reader - Chapter Five

chapter four - Chapter Five: Come A Little Closer - chapter six

Series Masterlist

Plot: As the hunt continues for Dr. Nagal and the super serum, Y/n learns the ugly side of being a superhero while also finding herself drawing closer to Bucky.

Warnings: spoilers for episode.3, angst, fluff, language, description of injuries, unwanted touching, blood, character death (minor), anxiety, *cue Start of Something New from High School Musical playing in the background*, idiots in their feelings getting interrupted a lot, dancing Bucky. did I mention feelings?

Word Count: 6.9k

A/N: So this is semi rushed because I didn’t have as much time to work on it as I typically do but hopefully it still holds up. I’m currently in a stupor right now after today’s episode and trying to plan out where the rest of this goes, exciting and nerve wracking lol. 

----

Lay low, blend in, enjoy the party and stay out of trouble. Those were Sharon’s instructions. Not only did she know how to throw a party but the Madripoorians knew how to enjoy themselves. The pomp and circumstance didn’t match New Orleans by a long shot, but they sure as hell threw themselves into it.

Sharon was in charge of asking around to see if anyone had any information on Wilfred Nagal while we were stationed at the bar. After Sharon’s talk, I was nursing a glass of whiskey trying to blur the various scenarios she’d put in my head. Each step we’d taken so far had landed us somewhere more dangerous. Within days we’d gone from an impromptu fight with Super Soldiers to breaking Zemo out of prison to a shootout in the streets of Madripoor. The deeper we got, the higher the risk. I’d never thought of Sam’s job as easy, but I could have never understood how difficult it was until I was doing it with him.

I looked over to Sam, Bucky and Zemo who were doing the exact opposite of what Sharon had told us to do. They couldn’t have looked more out of place. They looked like a bar joke; a superhero, a 100 year old assassin and an escaped Sokovian convict walk into a bar…

��Have any of you ever stepped foot in a club?” I asked, leaned up against the side of the bar. The three of them looked lost, causing me to roll my eyes, “Dance, drink, do something!” 

“Excuse me,” a masculine voice that didn’t belong to anyone in our group said from behind me, I turned and faced his presence, “It’s a crime that someone as beautiful as you hasn’t been out on that dance floor tonight. Care to join me?” Was it a cheesy line? Extremely so. But blending in meant blending in. “Why not?” I downed the last of my whiskey and allowed him to take my hand and lead me into the middle of the action.

The center of the room was packed body to body, filled with people innocent moving to the house music to those grinding against one another in the most sinful of ways. The handsome stranger put his hands on my waist, I placed mine loosely around his neck and we began to dance. There was enough space between us that it wasn’t uncomfortable and I found myself actually enjoying myself. But the longer the song went on, the more the guy’s hands started to wander. It started with a few circles in my hips that I wasn’t a fan of to rubbing up and down my sides, when they trailed around my back and down to my ass was when I wriggled out of his grip. “C’mon sweetheart,” he shouted over the music, “It’s a party, lighten up.” I was fully prepared to tell him exactly what I thought of men like him when a gloved hand grabbed his shoulder roughly, I looked to my side to see the body belonged to Bucky. “You’re done, pal.” The creep was inches shorter than Bucky and couldn’t match his intimidating steely stare. He put up no fight and simply backed away in fear, bumping into a few people on his way out of the main room. Bucky moved in front of me to act as some type of shield in case he was stupid enough to come back, “Are you okay?” “Yeah, I’m fine,” I assured him, “You didn’t have to come over, I can handle myself, y’know.” “I know you’ve got no problem telling people off,” he smirked, “But I couldn’t help myself. That kind of stuff doesn’t set well with me.” “Well, thank you,” I said, “But you’ve made one fatal mistake, Barnes.” His brows knitted together in confusion as I smiled, “You’re out on the dance floor with me.” I watched as he connected the dots, “No, no, no…” “Yes, yes, yes,” I contested, lightly tugging on his non-metal arm as he started to walk away, “You need to blend in and there could be another handsy creep nearby, so consider it a public service.” His 1940’s origins wouldn’t allow him to leave a woman by herself in a potentially uncomfortable situation, this much I knew. With a heavy sigh that I could practically hear over the loud music, he met my eyes. “I don’t know how to dance to this, it doesn’t even sound like music to me.” I rolled my eyes, “If only you had someone to teach you…Give me your hands,” he offered me his flesh one, “Both of them.”

He defeatedly put out his gloved metal hand and I took hold of them both, carefully placing them on my hips. They hesitantly held onto me as if maybe I didn’t want him touching me despite the fact that I initiated it. I watched him to make sure he was okay with me positioning us, his eyes stayed glued to where his fingers rested. Not wanting to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was, I settled my hands on his broad shoulders. Receiving no arguments from him, I continued moving us. We looked too much like middle schoolers in the middle of a gymnasium with all the space between us. I took a step towards him to shorten the distance, still watching him to make sure he was okay with what I was doing.

“Don’t focus on perfect steps,” I called over the noise, “Just try and feel the beat.” I took a step to the side, pulling Bucky along with me clunkily. His eyes were locked on the floor watching our feet as I began to alternate steps to the beat. I placed a finger under his chin and brought his line of vision up to meet mine, “Stop thinking so much.” I picked up the rhythm again and began to sway my hips a little with each movement I made, trying to take my own advice. Bucky looked like he didn’t know what to do, this was so far from any type of dancing he’d ever taken part in. But the more he felt me loosen up, the more his body started to feel less rigid. Where I’d been guiding us, Bucky met me and took the reins and started to move us. The heat I felt from his hands through our mutual layers of fabric sent tingles up my sides. We’d unconsciously moved closer to each other, our chests brushing with each movement. I peeked up at Bucky through my eyelashes under the pretense of making sure he was still comfortable, but I lost myself once I got there. His normally bright blue eyes had darkened significantly as he looked down on me. It felt like a shot of adrenaline straight down my spine while simultaneously making my knees weaken. I dared to slide my hands down from their resting position on his shoulders to his thickened biceps, giving me something to hold onto. It set off a chain reaction of his hands still lightly holding onto my waist to tighten, putting my body fully in his control. He started to guide my hips in figure eights, his heated gaze flicking between the motions and my eyes. With a shockingly little amount of hesitation, I snaked my arms to wrap around his neck pulling us what a few days ago would have been defined as too close. Now as I drowned in his blackened, dilated orbs and felt each breath he took against me, it didn’t feel nearly close enough. I found myself craving as much of him as I could get. Something had taken over both of us and I didn’t want it to loosen its hold.

“Hey,” Sharon’s voice flooded my ear from behind, “I found our guy, let’s go.” As soon as I felt her leave to go fetch the others, Bucky and I ceased our movements. Our chests pressed into one another as we panted, his pouty lips parted with each breath he drew. I swallowed harshly as I struggled not to notice how tempting they looked, trying to focus on anything else. The shine of a light layer of sweat down his neck, the sharpness of the jawline I suspected I could cut myself on, the scent of his cologne enveloping me, the pressure of his thumbs pressed into my hipbones, the way his dilated pupils sent a wave of heat through me…Bucky was all I could see or feel and I didn’t want it to end.

“W-we should…We should go,” I stumbled over myself, still unable to look away.

“Yeah,” he answered, breaking our stare only for a second to look down at my lips. I had to force myself to unwrap my arms from his neck, he immediately followed and let go of my waist. I wanted to grab his long, slender fingers and slide them back in place, but stopped the urge in its tracks. Now was the time to get to work, no matter how inconvenient of a time it had come at.

——

In the early hours of the morning, after Sharon had gotten everyone out of her gallery, we departed for the shipping yard Nagal was supposedly at. Awkward wasn’t a strong enough word to describe how Bucky and I were acting around each other. We’d barely said two words to one another, averting our eyes anytime they met. Something had happened out on that dance floor and we were both determined to ignore it.

“Madripoor could give New York a run for its money,” Sam commented as we walked between shipping containers.

“They know how to party,” Zemo responded, he’d spent plenty of his evening out on the dance floor demonstrating his off-beat moves.

“With that bounty on your head, the longer you’re in Madripoor, the less likely you’re ever leaving,” Sharon said as she guided us, using the coordinates she had on her phone. I followed her, relieved to have a little extra feminine energy around. “All right,” she stopped in front of a unit, “He’s in there. Container four-two-six-one. I’ll keep an eye out while you guys talk to Nagal but hurry, we’re on borrowed time.” We each took an earpiece she offered.

“I’m coming with you,” I said, immediately turning on my heel to block my brother’s argument, “I’m of better use out here if there are any problems. Let me do my job, Sam.” 

He took a deep breath and blinked, silently conceding to me. “Just stay safe,” he urged.

Inevitably, I met Bucky’s eyes that were already trained on me. He didn’t need to voice any of his concerns, they were all etched on his face. “I’ll be fine,” I said, trying to reassure both men that I could handle myself. I broke from the group to head off with Sharon, falling in step with her. 

“Hey, Sharon, you sure this is the right one? It’s completely empty,” Sam’s voice came through our comms. “Positive, it has to be,” she answered as we hurried through the yard, “How good are you and those hands in combat?” “Energy blasts, force fields, levitation,” we turned a corner and ducked behind a container, “Tell me what you need.” She threw a hand out to stop me from going any further, pressing a finger to her lips after. She peeked out from behind the unit and quickly hid again, “Guys, we’ve got company.” “What do we do?” I whispered.

Sharon raised the hood of one of her jackets and looked around us, spotting and grabbing a small metal pipe. “We buy them some time.” I nodded firmly, creating a ball of energy with my hands and waiting for her signal. When she darted out, I followed and we stealthily snuck up on the three bounty hunters nearby. Sharon began brutally attacking them with the pipe while I focused on throwing a blast at one of them, he fell to the ground unconscious. The two that Sharon had been taking on kept getting up after her beatings, I levitated one of them and threw him against a container.

“Every bounty hunter in the city is here, we gotta go!” she said into the comms, turning to me after, “Watch yourself, these people fight dirty.” As soon as the words had left her lips, another hunter appeared. He came towards us with  large knife, trying to tackle Sharon and forgoing me. I used my energy to shove him backwards, giving Sharon time to form a plan of attack. She ran towards him as he rose and twisted his arm, body slamming him to the ground and wrenching the knife out of his hand. She didn’t waste time in stabbing him in the back, quickly throwing the bloodied knife at another approaching hunter who was now trying to pull the weapon out of his forearm. Sharon kicked him into a container just as burly arms wrapped around me, pinning my arms at my sides. I kicked and flailed as he lifted me off the ground before moving to slam me facedown, I created a force field just in time and the two of us bounced off it and landed on his back. The second his grip loosened, I levitated out of it and landed on top of one of the shipping units. With an outstretched palm, I raised the wriggling man to my level and threw him across the ship yard. Below me, Sharon had a struggling hunter trapped between her legs and was choking him. I watched the man wheeze as he desperately tried to get her off of him and regain air. When his flailing began to cease, I was unable to watch the life drain from him and turned away.

A bullet flew past my head and I dropped to my belly, spotting a bounty hunter below firing a machine gun aimed where I’d been standing. When Sharon jumped out and kicked him in the back, his attention turned to her and he slammed her back against a shipping container. She pulled the barrel of his gun up and he fired a round in the sky as she held him off. She grabbed a knife stuck out of the waist of his pants and stabbed him, using his body as a shield as another hunter fired at her. I created a force field around her, allowing her to get safely behind a container to plan her next move. Pulling out the knife again, she nodded at me and dropped the corpse as I dropped my energy. She stabbed the guy lurking around the corner of the container before firing a fatal shot. I watched one last hunter come around to where she had just been standing, waiting for her to come around. I raised him in the air and flicked my fingers towards him, the gun dropping from his hands before I slammed him into another unit. After sweeping the area to make sure nobody was left, I floated down to where Sharon stood trying to catch her breath.

“We gotta go,” she panted as we ran back in the direction of the shipping container that held Nagal.

We weaved through the unit quickly, landing in the doctor’s hidden lab. “Guys, we’re seriously outta time here,” Sharon announced.

The sudden sound of a gunshot made us all jump, Sam and Sharon running to apprehend Zemo who had just fatally wounded Nagal. “What did you do?” Sharon trembled.

Bucky reached out to grab my arm and pulled me behind him, shielding me from any further attack. Just as my hand had nervously sought out his forearm, a sudden explosion threw us backwards. We harshly hit the floor, a symphony of groans escaping us all. Bucky and I had gotten separated as we’d flown and I blindly reached around for him, for Sam, anybody. “Anybody see Zemo?” Sam’s voice came through my ear.

I rose to my knees and started pushing myself up, my body screaming at me to stop. Bucky raised me up the rest of the way before pulling Sam and Sharon to their feet as well. We’d barely gotten our footing when a second explosion hit, this time from the chemicals in the lab rather than an attack. Luckily, we had gotten out before we’d been injured further. I stood behind Sharon, my head on a swivel trying to find the culprits of the ambush. “All right!” Bucky yelled, “Wait for my signal!” He hadn’t even finished speaking when Sam started shooting towards a pack of bounty hunters and taking off on his own. “Damn it!” Bucky came out from around the corner of the smoking unit and started firing at the men while Sharon and I ran around to the back where Sam was. “Can you create a force field?” Sharon shouted at me over the gunfire. “If I do, whatever bullets we fire will stay in it with us,” I shouted back at her, ducking below the barricade we now had for ourselves and next to Sam. The three of us crouched down and I began shooting out balls of energy towards each incoming bullet, deflecting each one away from us.

“And you like living here?” Sam yelled at Sharon.

“It’s not terrible!” she replied, popping up and down behind the fallen piece of metal giving us protection.

Bucky came down from his position to join us, “I thought we were gonna go left!” “You went the wrong way!” Sam stopped firing to berate him. “I was clearing the way!” Bucky argued. “Really? Right now?” I yelled.

“I came out first, you were supposed to follow me!” “And where are we now?!” “Guys, not the time!” Sharon attempted to quell their petty argument, dropping behind the barricade when her gun was out of bullets. I tuned the fighting out as I worked on redirecting the bullets. The blue energy streamed from my hands, my reflexes quick and my mind never more focused. One hunter loaded his machine gun and aimed it at me, as soon as the ammo started flying I used my energy to shove them back his way before levitating him and slamming him into a shipping unit. It was only for the split second he was suspended in the air after the hit that I caught the sight of the bullets lodged in his chest and his head cracked open from the power of my hit. He limply fell to the ground, his eyes still open yet cold and hollow.

I had killed a man.

The shock took over my body and I quickly absorbed the energy back into my body immediately. I stood there unprotected as I stared at his corpse, ripe with life a moment ago and now devoid of anything. If it hadn’t been for Sam shoving me down behind our barricade, I would have stupidly continued to leave myself exposed in horror of what I’d just done. 

Another explosion kept us down, we hesitantly peeked over the shards of metal to see a fight breaking out. While the mask was new, I knew the coat belonged to Zemo, who was now taking out bounty hunters left and right. Through the flames I could see him shove, flip, shoot and punch. He looked back at us as if to signal that he’d cleared the way to escape. The four of us took the chance and made our way out of the wreckage, sprinting through the maze of shipping containers. 

“Buck!” Sam yelled, opening the nearest unit’s door and using it as a shield while Sharon and I leapt in, avoiding the gunfire. He pulled Bucky in shortly after and closed the door, the attacker having been dealt with.

The container was dark, the only light seeping in from a few cracks in the corners. When a hand grabbed my arm, I shrieked in terror and readied my energy “Hey, hey, it’s just me,” Sam hurriedly announced his presence, “Are you okay?” Was I okay? I had just ended someone’s life, I was the furthest thing from okay. But to reassure him that physically I was fine, I hummed my answer, there were too many words swirling in my brain to say anything more.

We waited a few more minutes until there was no noise and nobody had come for us. Bucky used his super strength to punch the metal doors open, the sound of screeching tires greeting us as a vintage model drove up in front of us.

“Supercharged,” Zemo smiled from the driver’s seat.

“You’re going back to jail,” Sam said.

Zemo sighed, exhausted with Sam’s fixation on placing him back where he belonged, “Do you want to find Karli or not?”

“He’s right, we need him,” Bucky opened the passenger’s side door and climbed into the vehicle, “And there’s two of us and at least twenty of them. Come on.” “Wait, when did it become twenty?” I asked, not yet approaching the car.

“We’ll fill you in on the way,” Bucky answered. “Fine,” Sam begrudgingly agreed, “But if you try that shit again-“ “I wouldn’t dream of it,” Zemo said, somewhat unconvincingly but beggars couldn’t be choosers when it came to help and we were beggars. “Well, that was one hell of a reunion,” Sharon shut the door to Sam’s side.

“Come back to the States with us,” Sam offered.

“I told you, I can’t,” Sharon declined, the sadness I sensed in her making a flash of an appearance, “Just get me that pardon you promised me and,” she turned to smile at me, “Keep her alive, I like her.” I put a hand on her shoulder, still a little breathless from the fight. “You do the same.” 

With that, Sharon walked off into the ship yard while Sam said a quick thanks. I walked around to the other side of the car, ignoring Sam and Bucky’s back and forth as I climbed in and sunk into the seat. Even though we were safe from immediate danger, my heart was still racing and I could feel its beat pounding in my ears. I shut my eyes and held my head in my hand as we drove off, the image of the bullet stricken bounty hunter laying motionless on the ground at the forefront of my mind.

——

On the plane, everybody had retired to their separate corners and tasks. Zemo was fixing food in the kitchenette, Sam was on the phone with Torres, Bucky was cleaning his vibranium hand and I was curled up in one of the chairs with unshed tears flooding my eyes. I had never ever wanted to hurt anybody with my powers and in the heat of battle, I had used them to murder someone. I had taken a life and there was no coming back from that. Some innocent part of me that had remained through the trauma I’d seen in my life had been stripped away and I wasn’t going to have it returned. The moment played and played and played in my head, I didn’t think I would ever forget the sight…

I had been blocking out Sam and Bucky’s conversation until I heard the shield come up, or as they were referring to it, the hunk of metal.

“Maybe I made a mistake,” Sam said. “You did,” Bucky immediately agreed.

“Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have put it in a museum. Maybe I should’ve destroyed it.”

Bucky paused before answering, “Look, that shield represents a lotta things to a lotta people, including me. The world is upside down, and we need a new Cap, and it ain’t gonna be Walker. So before you destroy it, I’m gonna take it from him myself.” The tears I was trying so hard to withhold unavoidably fell to my cheeks, I was overwhelmed. Anxiety began to fill my body as the day’s events flashed across the inside of my eyelids. It was too much. Too much.

“Y/n,” Sam’s voice across the aisle punctured the bubble of my mind, “You okay?”

“I don’t care,” I whispered, my palm digging into my forehead. “What?” 

“I don’t care,” I exclaimed, leaping out of my seat and turning to face Bucky and Sam, “About the shield, about Walker, about whatever happened on that phone call, about anything. I killed someone today, I actually ended somebody’s life and now we’re just sitting around like nothing happened. I don’t understand how you guys can be so relaxed about any of this when a few hours ago, we were landing bullets in people’s chests!” 

Sam and Bucky, to their credit, were silent as I blew up on them. When I’d finished with more tears down my face than I’d started with and a strained voice, I hurriedly made my way down the aisle and to the bathroom, locking myself in and the world out. My back slid against the nearest wall and my body sank to the floor, I finally allowed myself to sob my sorrow out.

——

Sam and Bucky sat in stunned silence after Y/n had left, only daring to consider speaking when they heard her muffled cries from the jet’s bathroom. Sam’s phone rang, it was Torres calling with information about Donya Madani most likely. He looked over to Bucky, “Someone’s gotta talk to her,” he stated, care and concern laced in his tone, “You and I both know what it feels like to make that first kill.”

Bucky sighed loudly, he knew exactly what Y/n was feeling and wanted to help her, but he wasn’t sure how he could do that. He could barely make it through a therapy session without feeling like he wanted to jump out the window, especially when Raynor started bringing up his dark past. But on the other side of the door was a woman he cared about for reasons he didn’t fully understand and she was hurting, and that was enough motivation for him to get up from his seat and rise to the occasion.

He raised his fist to knock, hovering over the door for a second before he made contact with it. “Hey,” he said, his voice raised so she could hear him, “You wanna let me in?” The silence that followed let him know that wasn’t going to happen.

With his concern growing, he grasped the metal door knob with his metal hand and twisted it till the lock broke and the knob detached. Zemo could take it up with him later, all Bucky could focus on in that moment was Y/n and the river of tears flowing steadily down her face stemming from her puffy, bloodshot eyes. 

——

I took my hands off my eyes when I heard the creaking of metal, looking up to see Bucky holding the now broken doorknob in his hand and watching him discard it on the floor. He entered the room slowly, approaching me with just as much caution and shutting the door as much as he could. The bathroom was small but he still managed to find enough room to slide down next to me, our bodies packed tightly against one another.

We rested in the heavy silence for a moment before Bucky spoke up. “I get it.” When I didn’t respond, he continued. “But he was gonna kill you and if it were my choice, I’d have saved you too.” “Yeah, I know, it was self defense but, Bucky,” I paused to look at him through my tears that were holding firm, “I still killed someone. Bad guy, good guy, it doesn’t matter. He was somebody’s son o-or husband.” “He was a low life, Y/n, and you probably saved a lot more people than you think,” Bucky said, beginning to fiddle with his thumbs like I’d watched him do frequently. “Stop trying to make me feel better about this,” I muttered, sniffling and wiping the wetter side of my face, “You were trained for this kind of thing, you volunteered for the war and knew you’d have to make these kinda calls. I promised myself a long time ago that if I ever revealed my powers, I would only use them for good. Because that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. But after today…” I trailed off and looked down at my lap, resting my forehead against my knees, “I don’t know how to look myself in the mirror.”

The only sound filling the room was the sounds of my trembling breaths and Bucky’s steady ones. I knew he was only trying to help, but I wasn’t sure if there was anything he could say to make me feel better. “You helped save our asses today,” Bucky eventually said, his rough voice low in his chest, “If you don’t want to think about having saved your own life, think about protecting me and Sharon and Sam. Today could’ve gone south real quick and part of the reason it didn’t is because of you. This kind of stuff…it’s not easy. But it gets a little easier knowing that you’re doing the hard stuff to save good people.” I leaned back as he spoke and rested my head against the wall, watching his lips move and try to ease my conscious.  It didn’t help, but it didn’t not help. When joining Sam, I hadn’t thought about the possibility that I would have to make split second calls like the ones I made today. My naivety was my own fault. I knew that the person I’d killed today would have slaughtered  any one of us without a second thought and Bucky was right, I probably saved one of us from dying by deflecting the bullets. The deed would weigh heavily on my mind for a long time, but maybe listening to Bucky was the first step in making peace with it.

I wiped underneath my eyes until they were as dry as they could get, “Thanks, for trying at least.” Bucky sadly smiled, watching me collect myself with a deep breath and a sniffle. “Are you okay?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t crossing any lines but needing an answer, “After the whole scene in the bar?” His demeanor changed quickly, his softened features hardening and his body going stiff once again. He cleared his throat awkwardly and mumbled an ‘I’m fine’ before rising to his feet. I stood up fast enough for the blood to rush to my head but couldn’t find it in me to care. “Bucky,” I said, reaching out to wrap a hand around his vibranium wrist, “Stop.” He listened and robotically turned to face me without actually looking at me. I knew that I could never come close to understanding how traumatic acting as his past alter ego could have been, but I was determined not to let him stew in his feelings longer than necessary. Words may not have been enough in the moment, but any other option was just as risky. Maybe a little risk was what the situation called for. 

I let go of his wrist, my hands awkwardly held in the space between our chests before I surged forward to capture him in a hug. His body only tensed further as I pressed myself against him, his hands at his sides unknowing of what to do. No matter how bad I sensed it was going, I continued nonetheless. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my face close enough to his ear for it to create goosebumps on his neck. 

Internally I told myself to let go, I was probably making him feel wildly uncomfortable. The second I loosened my grip, his flesh arm shot out and wrapped around my waist. With a small smile, I sunk back into the embrace and let myself be enveloped by Bucky once again. His scent invaded me, a mixture of the sweat of battle and whatever cologne had remained on his body from earlier. The attractive scruff he wore brushed the side of my face, sending electric sensations through me. The arm that firmly held him to me made me feel protected, it was the first time on our journey that I’d felt well and truly safe. Bucky shifted so that his cheek was now against the back of my head, pressed into my hair. The act struck a different type of feeling in me than when we’d danced, it didn’t hold the intensity and heat. This was warm and pure, like light itself. Surrounded by him and feeling his warmth radiating through me, I was convinced that I was experiencing a glimpse of heaven.

I couldn’t tell who broke apart first but Bucky’s arm wasn’t yet ready to leave my waist. My hands lost their place around his neck and were forced to slide down to his firm chest. I looked down at their placement, trying not to think too much about what lay underneath.

“You’re not nearly as bad as you think you are,” Bucky said quietly, sparing me a small smirk.

“Neither are you,” I smiled, soaking in the rare softness that we’d been given and wondering why my pulse quickened the second our eyes met. 

A sudden knock on the door startled both of us. “Hey, Torres got intel on Madani, you guys gotta hear it.” Sam’s voice carried through.

Bucky and I instantly separated at the sound of my brother’s voice, him awkwardly putting his hands on his hips and me shoving mine in the pockets of my jacket. Whatever feeling had been in the air dissolved at the remembrance that there were so many other important matters on the other side of the door demanding our attention. Bucky pushed the slightly ajar door open and moved aside to let me out first. 

“What’d you get from Torres?” I asked, pausing outside the bathroom and leaning against the wall. I could feel the heat radiating off Bucky’s body as he stood behind me.

“Madani died yesterday,” Sam answered, reclined in his seat looking stressed, “In Riga, a city near the Baltic Sea. Zemo,” he gestured to the Baron, lounging in his seat, “He’s got a place for us to stay there.”

“Latvia,” I sighed, looking over my shoulder to glance at Bucky, “Here we come.”

——

A few short hours later, the plane’s cabin lights were dimmed and each piece of the foursome was asleep in their seats, except for one.

Bucky sat awake, switching between staring at the ceiling and Y/n’s sleeping form. She had curled up in the chair across from him and went to sleep surprisingly fast. He envied her, his thoughts were going to keep him up all night.

Once he’d gotten both feet on the ground after the Blip, losing Steve and starting his new life on his own, Bucky had recognized that he didn’t want to be alone. He still had the same dream as he had in the ’40’s; to meet a nice girl, settle down and raise some kids. Now in modern times, everything was so much more complicated than it had been then. He’d tried online dating, failing miserably and finding the whole process unnatural. He had humored Yori and gone on a date with Leah, a waitress at their favorite sushi place, the conversation turning too dark for him to handle. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to meet the mythical One when every avenue left him confused or overwhelmed by the dirty deeds of his past.

Until she came along.

Y/n came into his life unapologetically and in the last minute he would have ever thought he’d meet someone. She had dazzled him from the start, despite his initial annoyance, and had kept him on his toes since their first meeting in the hanger. She held the same level of strength when she was telling him off in the therapy session as she had revealing her broken past. She was the only person in a long time that had been able to make him smile, genuinely smile. Not the kind his therapist told him to flash during his three step process for making amends. Bucky was jaded and cynical about the world around him, but she brought him something that looked a whole lot like happiness. But the biggest and loudest quality of hers was that she cared. She cared for everyone around her, even those that didn’t deserve it. He’d been nothing but snarky to her on their first day together and she’d still rushed to save him when she’d heard he was in trouble. She was making sure that he was alright every chance possible, not because she thought he would slip back into his old programming, but because she simply didn’t want him to suffer. All of it led up to the moment in the bathroom where she had pointed out that he had volunteered for WW2. To anyone else it wouldn’t have mattered why she chose that example, but it was everything to Bucky.

She had chosen to bring up his history as a soldier, not the soldier.

That was the moment where Bucky realized he was falling for her. It finally made sense to him why when he’d held her on the dance floor his skin felt like it was on fire, why he hadn’t wanted to let her go, why her safety had become one of his top priorities. Rather than have something to fight, he now had something to protect.

But Bucky couldn’t forget to fear in her eyes when he’d sought them out in the Madripoor bar. When he had his metal hand wrapped around the neck of the Winter Soldier’s latest “victim.” He didn’t blame her, she’d be insane not to be afraid of him. Yet she was still there for him, trying to help him through his trauma that she was knowledgable on. The thought both hurt and warmed his heart. 

As he watched her sleep, light snores coming from her lips every once in a while and her feet tucked so tightly below her legs he didn’t see how she could be comfortable, he smiled. Even unconscious she could make him smile. Y/n was a new sensation he was still getting used to but damn it all, he loved it and wished they had met under different circumstances. He could have asked her to dinner, brought her flowers, strolled through the city with her…Bucky finally felt relaxed enough to shut his eyes, drifting away and dreaming of the woman who had wormed her way into his heart.

—— We touched down in Riga in the early morning and headed for Zemo’s hideout he had in the city. Even if we were here under unfortunate circumstances, I still tried to take in as much of the city as I could. When was the next time a girl from NOLA was going to have to opportunity to be in Latvia? The four of us strolled down the sidewalk, Zemo talking more to Sam about the remnants of Sokovia than Bucky and I. We hadn’t spoken much since our conversation in the bathroom but he had made an effort to ask me if I was okay after I’d woken up. I wasn’t sure what I was but I knew that when Bucky was around, I felt a little better. 

“I’m gonna go for a walk,” he announced as we approached the stoop of Zemo’s place.

“You good?” Sam asked, only seconds before I could get the same words out.

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded, already backing away from the group, “I’ll see you guys in a bit.”

I watched him walk back down the sidewalk, fighting the overwhelming urge to follow him and wondering if there was something to it. He may have been a super soldier, but I could still protect him. If there was anything I’d learned about Bucky in the short time I’d known him was that he didn’t have any qualms about running headfirst into a fight. Bucky was also a terrible liar. Those facts were what made me worry the further I watched him head down the road.

When had this happened? When did this man I’d know only a few days become someone I cared so deeply about? Why were all my thoughts beginning to orbit around Bucky? Since the first time we’d actually sat and talked, when I’d opened up to him about my powers and my father, I’d felt something for him. Something that had only started to increase the more time we spent around each other. On the dance floor in Madripoor had been another significant incident, one that had been harder to recover from without acknowledging that there had been some sort of spark. The moment I realized I wanted as much of Bucky as I could get was in the bathroom the night before, when he’d held me in his arms until he was forced to let go. When he’d felt like an oasis in the middle of the nightmare we were in. For all his faults and demons, the man he was rang louder than anything else and had captured my heart in a matter of days.

Shit.

I had fallen for Bucky Barnes without even realizing it.

“Y/n,” Sam interrupted my thoughts, “You coming?”

His beckoning couldn’t have come at a worse moment, as I’d just broken through the barriers my mind had built. “Yeah,” I mumbled, forcing myself to turn away from keeping a watchful eye of Bucky’s departing figure. As it had been with any moment regarding the Super Soldier and I, the world always found a way to remind us there were more important matters at hand.

----

A/N: OH, we’re really in it now...Hope everybody enjoyed, feel free to let me know what you thought or if you’d like to be tagged! 

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[jenojaemssss]

stay next to me

a/n: repost bc i think i accidentally deleted it when i was trying to edit it LOL anyways, this is a new style for me so hope you guys enjoy! based on this song by quinn xcii and chelsea cutler

warnings: there IS a makeout session so be advised :D

jaemin and you are pushed against a wall about 2 feet away from each other

when i say pushed against a wall, i mean quite literally pushed against the wall

because there were maybe 20 people dancing around you

and they were all shoving and jumping and swinging their arms back and forth

and no way in hell do you want to be swept away in that mob

the space around you was probably 7 square feet at most with too many sweaty bodies surrounding you

like there are probably 400 people at this place because no way the carrying capacity of 250 would put you in this situation

and you're sweaty and sticky

and so is jaemin

because there are just way too many fucking people

you're trying your best to keep your drink from spilling over because everyone is shoving

jaemin looks just as uncomfortable

you notice this because what kind of best friend are you if you can't tell that he was feeling uncomfortable?

so you reach over to feel for his hand but before you reach it you accidentally brush your hand over someone's butt

and then someone's boob

and then someone's crotch

but you finally reach his hand

you hold onto his hand and he holds yours back

he pulls you in a little closer

you're pressed against each other's sides

sharing even more heat because of how close you are

"i don't even know this band," he yells over the noise

you chuckle in response and nod

"me neither!"

"let's dip?"

you can feel his hot breath on your ear

but you're dumb enough to look up

and you're met with his smile

his smile, god his smile

he was so close too

and you just wanted to kiss him but you shouldn't because he's your best friend

so you nod instead of doing anything dumb

he takes you and literally has to drag you away from the crowd

but you make it to the front door of the club

when you step foot out of the door and feel actual air

you both let out the biggest sigh

deep breaths and all

his hand is still holding yours and you were about to pull away but he just grips it tighter

"are we going somewhere, jaem?"

"anywhere but here," he chuckles

it's the chuckle that kind of rumbles from his chest

and you find that shit so attractive

you guys don't say anything else

you just lead him down the busy streets

it's dark out, but the streetlights and cars are lighting up the road

and it's just so pretty

but there's something prettier?

jaemin.

he looks so pretty illuminated by the lights and you can't help but gawk at him

like, normally yellow lights make people's skin look a little off and saturated

but this man looks so fucking good with this kind of lighting

nah, any kind of lighting

you realize how hard you're staring and focus on the road instead

he's still holding your hand, by the way

and honestly, it was kinda normal for him to hold your hand because he likes affection

correction

he likes affection only when he's comfortable with that person

but this was weird because he doesn't often hold your hand for this long

but hey, you guys are wandering around the city and it's fun

and you were both a little tipsy

not drunk

just one or two drinks each

so tipsy

and then you reach a place that reminds you of something and you smile

it was a skate park that your friends dragged you too a lot

jaemin notices this and leads you there

and he buys both of you water from the vending machine

and you guys just sit down and talk about life and whatnot

like school, jobs, whatever that comes up

he mentions something about prom and high school sweethearts because he sees a group of teens running down the street and laughing

and he's reminiscing how the two of you ditched prom to get mcdonald's your senior year

and then you bring up the topic of first loves

jaemin goes speechless when you ask him who his first love was

because little did you know, jaemin was also pining over you

so he tries switching the subject to something else

he doesn't answer you and shoots you a question instead

"when was the last time you've been in love?"

you're not sure what the hell comes over you but you respond

"now."

and he's like

O.O

and you just blush

and he's like

"same."

and your heart lowkey drops because you're not sure who it is

then you look at his face and realize that he's also blushing

and then it clicks in your airhead

oh.

"cool," is all you can get out 'cause????

jaemin loves you back?

"'cool?' y/n we just confessed and your only response is 'cool?'"

"we confessed?"

"yes, i thought it was obvious?"

"well then yes, because i'm not sure what to do in this situation."

he suddenly lets go of your hand

and you're scared you did something wrong so you look up from your feet

but before you can bring your head all the way up he's already cupping your cheeks

and he's leaning in

you're just frozen because jaemin is about to kiss you???

you?????

and right before he reaches your lips he asks for your permission

"can i kiss you?"

and instead of answering you meet his lips with your own

and now the two of you are kissing

his lips, god you wish you can kiss him forever because they feel like clouds

he smiles mid-kiss and your heart skips like 20 beats

his breath still had the slight hint of burnt whisky

it's so damn addicting

he pokes his tongue against your lips and you slightly open your mouth a little to give him access

and you swear there are spurts of electricity jolting through your body

you're quite literally melting into his touch

and his lips

you two continue to kiss and it's just like you're in heaven but on earth

did i mention how his lips felt like clouds?

sure, they're a little chapped but they're still the softest pair of lips you've ever laid eyes...i mean lips on

it's like his lips and yours were made for each other because the movements the two of you make send chills down your spine

you're breathless at this point

when he finally pulls away you're both grinning like idiots

he rests his forehead against yours and you use this opportunity to reach up a little bit and give him a peck

and he smiles even wider

he grabs you and pulls you into his arms and you rest your head on his chest

you're both leaning against the wall of one of the ramps so he takes this as an opportunity to throw one arm behind your shoulder

he places little kisses on your hairline and whispers little sweet nothings

but then he asks you

"what now?"

"what do you mean?"

"what are we now?"

"jaemin," you sit up straight and look at him dead in the eyes

"will you," you point at him

"be my," you gesture towards yourself

"boyfriend?"

"are you drunk right now?"

"NO! i'm dead serious," and you are

"yes, y/n, i will be your boyfriend," he chuckles and pulls you back into his arms

you hear his heart beating in his chest and you feel so calm

because although his heartbeat was a little fast, it seems to be matching the same rhythm as yours

"it's getting late," you mumble after checking your phone

you turn your head a little, but jaemin's resting his head on top of yours so you can't really move it

"don't you have places to be tomorrow?"

"i don't care," he murmurs against your hair

"just stay next to me."

a/n pt 2: if y'all can't tell, i get a ton of my inspo from quinn xcii songs:) a lot more are in the works, so i recommend listening his album "a letter to my younger self" bc half of my fics are based on that album LOL

[missinghan]

falling for the first time ⤖ bang chan

❖ genre : hogwarts au; fluff

❖ word count : 2,1k.

❖ warning : explicit language

❖ summary : your plan of putting all effort into avoiding bang chan as much as possible has been going smoothly for almost seven years until he asks you for a dance at the Yule Ball. or alternatively, your families hate each other but wait...has he always had those golden flecks in his eyes?

❖ author’s note : here’s the song they’re dancing to 🖤

one.

The once cold ballroom has waited for eons it seems, for a real heart to beat a new rhythm into the matter that made it. 

Meanwhile, you too have been waiting (for two-ish hours) in the corner with your cup of root beer abandoned at a table for your dance partner. You’re currently half-clutching your dress and half-panicking because Chan wouldn’t miss an event as extravagant as the Yule Ball. He’s not the type to be sour over little things either just because he didn’t win the Triwizard Tournament. Or perhaps someone else just happened to ask him? 

A blood-curdling shriek bursts your eardrums. 

Jeongin gives you a nudge with his elbow from behind. “Grilled scream-cheese?” he asks with a mouthful of gluten and carbs, a plate of a sandwich with a (literally) screaming slice of cheese slapped in the middle. 

“No, my appetite is ruined,” you say, pushing it away slightly and heaving an audible sigh. 

The Ravenclaw boy makes an alarming noise—something similar to ‘uh-oh’ and swallows the big bite from before as fast as he can. “Where’s Chan?”

You only shrug, “Don’t know. Don’t care.” If only you could do that with the train of thoughts that have been going in and out of your ears for the past a hundred and twenty minutes. 

“Y/N, you look troubled,” he purses his lips, frowning at you. 

“I’m not,” you voice in denial, trying your best not to come off as snappy. No, you will not give up your facade that easily. You won’t leave Chan’s ego nor Jeongin to rest without a fight by saying that you actually want to dance with the heathen!

“Yeah right, let me-“

“Don’t. What if he’s already asked someone else?” You momentarily shudder at how sad you sound. The root beer shouldn’t have hit you this hard. “I mean look at him, he’s Bang Chan. I’m pretty sure those girls from Beauxbatons have been eyeing him up and down since the Tournament.” 

Jeongin lets out a huff of laughter in disbelief. “Are you even hearing yourself right now?”

“One of you guys could have asked me. Or I should have paid Jisung to be my partner yesterday. I just, I don’t know, what am I saying? I’m confused.”

Your friend is officially done with your bullshit so he decides for himself that he will now set down his food to make your first and last Yule Ball arguably unforgettable. “Honestly? I can lie and say I would dance with you if you weren’t so full of pride. But truth is, none of us asked you to dance because we all know how badly Chan wants this opportunity. Wake the fuck up! He’s been planning this since forever. I’ll go look for him, wait here,” he points a finger at you before running off, leaving your heartbeat pause awkwardly like a broken record. 

The ballroom feels significantly colder now. 

“Miss Y/N?”

Ah, perfect timing. What’s another way to phrase ‘being an absolute idiot at a ball’? Oh right, it’s ‘talking to your professor five minutes before the first dance while your friends are socializing left and right’. 

“Yes, Headmistress McGonagall?”

Your professor peers around when she realizes that you’re all alone. “Are you and Mister Bang ready?”

“R-ready?” Suddenly, you feel out of place. 

“Well, of course. It’s only traditional that the three champions start the first dance!”

“Oh.”

two. 

Only the celestial bodies above can know how melancholy you are. But you’re met with a sky without stars tonight. 

With your head on your elbows, lips pressed into a straight line, your gaze falls from the endless canvas of darkness to the hustle and bustle of students leaving the Great Hall to head back to their designated dormitories. A sigh. You definitely don’t need to know what they’re going to do for the after-party. Ryujin used to show you an article on this peculiar machine called ‘a laptop’ that the more you sigh, the faster you age. If Chan keeps doing shit like this to you, you’re gonna be all old and wrinkly by the time he comes here. 

If he is going to show up at all that is. 

The moment you peel your eyes away from the overcrowded main gate, a broad figure is shuffling himself through his drunk Quidditch teammates, sloppy couples, and burnt out professors. He dashes through the empty hallways to reach the spiral staircase, skipping three steps at a time, risking the chances of falling on his face just to get to you. 

Pulling himself to a halt at the last step, Chan sees you all curled up against the balcony railings and feels a pang of guilt wash over his innards like a wave. You’re pulling your legs toward your chest, defeated eyes gazing into the space ahead while your hair falls to your face messily. Like you’ve gone through the depths of the Fourth Dimension, struggling through dark matters and a rite of divinity at the end of the line. All for him. 

You’re beautiful. 

And the amount of affection that’s piling upon his rib cage? Astronomical. 

Your gaze is averted away; even with a slight scowl, sloppy clothes and messed up hair, you still flare radiance. He thinks that if a meteor shower is happening right now, you can still outshine it. “You came,” you mention. 

For once, Chan finds himself at a loss for words. “Y-Yeah,” he manages to swallow. Yeah? What the fuck, Chan? Is that all you’ve got to say? 

“I-I’m sorry, Y/N. Yeji accidentally mistook one of Minho’s potions for her allergy medicine so I gotta take care of that before coming,” he scratches his forearm awkwardly, head hung low with guilt. “I didn’t know it would take that long…”

“Oh.” Wow, jealous stinks. This isn’t pre-school, you’d better snap out of it. “Let’s head back. I wanna check on her before passing out.” 

“She’s fine now, sleeps like death. Chaeryeong is there too, you know, just in case.” Chan feels perplexed as he tries to coax anything but the ‘head back’ option from you. 

You tilt your head. “And...?”

“I’m afraid you owe me something?” A slow smile begins to outstretch upon his facial muscles, deepening the dimples on either side of his cheeks that you adore the most. “A dance, I believe,” he makes a thinking face while striding toward you. 

Coldly, you stand up to dust your dress. “I don’t want to.” You’re not having it, he can tell. But does Bang Chan ever give up? 

“A bet is a bet, Y/N.”

Chan’s hand fishes inside the pocket of his trench coat to take out his wand. His hand delicately gives it a swift flick; once, and twice followed by a low mumble from his lips. Immediately, light pulses from the tip of the wand before shooting upward, disintegrating into a million bits as though a starry night is embracing the both of you. He does the same action again to cast a different spell. Music laces through every fiber of air without effort, like honey being poured into your ears. 

“It’s just one bet,” he pouts with a hand fully extended toward you. 

You should have realized how good Chan looks tonight. A black dress shirt that’s buttoned below appropriate, matching trench coat, silver accessories lining his fingers and ears with naturally tousled hair from running here. He looks so gorgeous that it almost suffocates you, that it almost makes you want to hiss ‘fucking unfair’ out loud. 

Enchanted by his poise and grace, your body reacts without the consent of your mind. You seize up when you unknowingly place your hand on top of his, the touch sending electricity down your spine. A simple response has become all too complicated for your brain to process. 

You grow breathless the moment he grabs you by the waist and pulls you flush against him. “Yeah, a bet so you’ll leave me alone,” you remark sarcastically to ease your nerves. 

“Look, it’s not my fault that the Goblet of Fire chose me to participate in the Tournament,” Chan chuckles lowly, eyes crinkling into crescent moon shapes while he sways you to the soft melody. Dots of light continue to float around weightlessly, reflecting the golden flecks in his eyes. He’s ethereal in the worst way—the way that isn’t healthy for your heart. 

But you soon slap on another scowl when you realize he just reminded you of why you’re even here in the first place. If only you weren’t so salty about Slytherin winning your team over at the final Quidditch match before the holiday occurs. Let’s just say you weren’t exactly in the best mind state after getting your ass kicked in your favorite sport. 

And Chan wasted no time to slip in between the line of comical humor and your ultimate torment. Which results in—if you get to attend the Triwizard Tournament, he will leave you alone for the rest of your life; but if he is the chosen one, he gets a dance with you at the Yule Ball. 

It’s really not all that bad if you think twice about it. Dancing with Bang Chan, the Slytherin’s Quidditch team captain, the student with perfect academics and conduct for six years straight, and now one of the Triwizard Tournament champions this year. 

Music threads through the atmosphere and lifts away gravity. You can’t count how many times you have stepped on his toes due to nervousness because you’re too much of a coward to look him in the eye. But he’s the only thing you can seem to focus on right now. 

“Besides, don’t you think this is a good opportunity to get rid of the tension between us?” Chan asks honestly, and this causes you to perk up. 

“What?”

Lights are twinkling with every step as Chan spins you around gently, your dress billowing out prettily as your heels click against the cold concrete. After that, he swiftly pulls you back into his arms and you exhale in relief like you were meant to be there all this time. 

“Don’t act dumb, you’re terrible at it. I know the only reason why you’ve been avoiding me since first year was because of our families’ stupid grudge. ”

Your eyes are cast downward, sadness glinting in your round pupils. “Either way, my parents wouldn’t like to see me talking to you. And look at what we’re doing. It’s going to be catastrophic if they find out.”

“Well, they can’t just magically appear now, can they?” Chan leans a little closer to lock his eyes with yours. 

And you break it seconds later because you’re an absolute coward for a Gryffindor. “We’re attending a magic school. Anything is possible.”

“Did they even tell you what the actual problem was in the first place?” he huffs out in faint annoyance. 

You shake your head. “I don’t think they’d even remember.”

“Then would you stop giving me that look as if I just shooed your owl way every time I said ‘hi’ on my way to class? Have you ever thought about my feelings? About us being civil for once? Like friends? Or even more so?”

“I-“ 

“We’re not our parents, Y/N.”

Your heart becomes all erratic at his words. It’s nothing like those fully-fledged, tear-jerking nor cheesyass confessions that you’ve gawked at one too many times, but it makes your heart flutter and stirs up those cliché butterflies inside your stomach. This can’t be compared to the Yule Ball—it’s even better than that. Because it feels as though you and Chan are the only presences that graze the surface of this land. There’s no one to judge, no fingers to point, no gossip spreading like wildfire. 

It’s perfect. Almost. 

“Us...it’s not- it can’t happen. It’s not supposed to happen. It’s not possible, Chan.”

Wordlessly, he stops, moves both of your hands to his shoulders, and wraps his arms around your torso. The sound of your heartbeat against his is so in sync they just drown out the music completely. Time is frozen in place, leaving you to hang on the edge with him, hanging onto this single moment as thin as the red string of fate. You’re waiting for him to do something, say something. 

Just then, Chan cracks a wry smile and pulls you closer by the nape of your neck, resting his forehead comfortably on yours. “We’re attending a magic school. Anything is possible.”

[asmobabe]

400 followers celebratory smut!

Mirror

Warning: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERRACT

Word count: 1906 words

Content warning: Smut, dubious consent, alcohol consumption, slight exhibitionism, mirror fucking, semi-public sex.

Pairing: Female!MC x Asmodeus (Obey Me!)

They move to the dance floor, Asmodeus's hand on Ophelia's back. Her head is wrapped in a haze, equal parts of booze and beat coursing through her veins like liquid gold. It's dizzying, and it's exciting, and it burns. It's the best she's ever felt. Asmodeus pulls her closer so that when her hips swing it grinds against his, and she lets him, the usual shyness diluted by the neon lights. 

- I love this song! - she yells over the noise.

- I know, I do too! That's why I requested it!

Ophelia throws her head back with a smile, resting it on Asmo's shoulder. He can peek at the hem of her bra when she moves, and the Avatar of Lust relishes the thought that others might be seeing it too. The way her strapless dress threatens to give in, the mounts of her breasts already exposed. Asmodeus can sense the entire club watching them like vultures. Unfortunately, she soon notices and pushes the dress up, earning a whine from the demon. 

- Hey, not fair! I was enjoying the view!

- Sorry, dear. - she chuckles, turning to face him - We're in public, you know?

- And why is that a bad thing?

At the moment, Ophelia can't think of an answer. Maybe staring into the eyes of the Avatar of Lust while drunk wasn't the most exceptional idea. He couldn't charm her with magic, but those eyes worked an effect similar enough. 

- Like, we're not going to see anyone here ever again. What's the big deal? You're not afraid of a little crowd, are you? - his hands snake up her waist - They want to see. It's just a little skin anyway.

- Yeah, I guess... 

His gaze is heated, almost glowing under the neon lights. Ophelia meant to say something more, she's sure, but, little by little, all her thoughts turn into mud. Head empty, and at last, she relents. The words are breathed inches away from her lips, boiling with anticipation: 

- You'll put on a show, won't you, pet?

There's nothing left for the human to do but to melt into the kiss, throwing both arms over his shoulder to bring him closer. Asmodeus's touch leaves scalding wounds all over her body while his tongue licks away her last bit of caution as soon as access is granted. The feeling is intoxicating, dizzying, even, and it burns. He smells so good and tastes even better. It's strange, knowing they have an audience, and still, she doesn't feel uncomfortable. It's actually kind of thrilling! The moment the demon grabs a handful of her ass, Ophelia knows she's done for. 

- Asmo...! - she breaks the kiss, gasping for air. 

- I adore it when you say my name like that... You're so cute!

Asmo's grin is hectic as he starts to nuzzle her neck, tasting the sweat on her skin. He's playing dirty, and he knows it. Without even realizing it, the girl tilts her head to give him better access.

- Let's just... Let's just leave, ok? 

- Oh, I'm so sorry, dollface... The party's only getting started, and I don't want to go yet. But...  I did see that the bathroom is free right now... We could have some fun and come back later. 

His tone, warm and coaxing, makes it evident that he's enjoying the situation way too much. The truth is that he'd take the girl right there if she wanted him to. 

- What do you think? Do you want me to fuck you against the mirror? I have to say, the thought of dancing with you in my arms, cum dripping down your thighs... That really turns me on. You'd like that too, wouldn't you, pet?

Ophelia nods, unable to ignore the warm feeling deep inside her stomach. She lets him take her hand in his, guiding the exchange student through the crowd to the handicapped toilet. Asmodeus closes the door behind their back, and seconds later, the girl finds herself sat on top of the sink with her arms around him, way too dizzy to remember if he put her up there or if she climbed on her own. 

Their kisses have something desperate in them. Ophelia's fingers thread through Asmo's now messy curls, pulling him as close as she possibly can. Every bit of his mouth tastes like expensive liquor. The demon squeezes her waist so tightly it almost hurts, clearly as frantic as the human to have his wants satisfied. Hands cupping her breasts, his mouth travels south, pressing wet kisses on her neck and nibbling at her collarbone, sending shivers through her spine. Later she'd be sporting the most beautiful love bites, and there wouldn't be any doubts left over who she belonged to. He hoped she'd mark him too - it'd be lovely if they matched. He pushes her bra up and the dress down. The music blasting from the other side of the door is still audible, and Asmodeus meets the feverish tempo with the griding of his hips, meeting Ophelia's core. Flustered, she begins to work on undoing his belt. 

- You're so cute when you're impatient. 

The demon giggles, stopping her mid-action. He grabs both of her wrists, lifting her arms on top of her head with one hand, the other moving to move her underwear to the side. "Let's get this out of the way, shall we?", he whispers lightly to her ear. The girl can feel her blood boiling with want and, desperate, throws herself on his neck, taking advantage of their short distance and attacking the skin with needy lips. Asmodeus was granted his wish and reveled, groaning at the open-mouthed kisses pressed onto his throat. He spreads her legs further, caressing her thighs as if they have all the time in the world until finally cold air and cold fingers meet the wetness of her core as he teases her entrance. 

- Please, just fuck me already! - the girl whimpers. 

He inserts a finger and circles her clit with the heel of his palm. 

- You're making it hard to resist, doll... So wet, and I barely did anything.

Asmodeus goes back to ravaging her mouth, his kisses hungry like he means to consume her soul. Ophelia is lightheaded enough to consider letting him had he proposed it. He pumps in and out of her, soon adding a second finger to the equation as the girl struggles to free herself from the hand holding her arms up. She whines into his mouth, frustrated. 

- Asmo, please... Please, please, please!

- I gotta say, dollface, I love it when you beg. Do you think you're ready for me, baby?

Ophelia nods, so eager that it is almost pathetic. But it doesn't matter; nothing matters. The demon seems content at last and lets go of her arms, setting her free to continue what she'd previously started. She undoes his pants in record time, pushing the fabric down with a feverish craving in her eyes. All the teasing was worth it for that moment, for that look in her face, the Avatar of Lust thought. He feeds on it, on her hungry hands pumping him once, twice, before guiding him towards her aching cunt. They both grunt as he begins to enter her. 

His length drags through her velvet walls at a slow pace that soon picks up speed at the girl's request. Holding on to him for dear life, Ophelia rests her forehead on the demon's shoulder as he pounds into her with a wilder and wilder rhythm, making the sink shake. Without warning, Asmodeus pushes her off the washbasin, only to bend her over it. 

- Asmo! - she yelps.

He grabs her by the neck, a devilish grin on his lips. 

- Sorry, pet, I just couldn't handle depriving you of the view any longer.

Now grabbing onto the sink, she looks up to see herself in the mirror. Her face is a flushed mess of mascara running and lipstick smudged, and the hairstyle that took so long to perfect is nothing more than disordered curls. Her breasts are lolling out of the dress, and her bra is undone, resting somewhere on the bathroom floor. She's too focused on the mist covering her eyes to care about it. It's such an erotic image. Asmodeus pounds into her from behind, and she can do nothing but watch. He feeds on it, the demon himself the vision of lust. 

Ophelia bites her lip, trying to hold back a scream of pleasure as he hits her sweet spot. Asmodeus grabs on her waist, strong enough to leave fingerprints, utterly lost in the moment. The exchange student might paint a pretty picture as she watches herself get fucked, but nothing like the demon. He grunts and moans with reckless abandon, citrine eyes glued on his own reflection, sparing the girl a glance or two every once in a while. Contrasting with Ophelia, his appearance is still fairly in order. 

- Yes! Yes! Just like that! - she pleads. 

He keeps on, just like that. The girl's knuckles turn white as she holds on to the sink. The words fall out of her mouth like a jumble on the floor, a mantra of spilled words.

- I love you. I love you so much. Please, just like that.

- You're doing so good, doll. I love you too, so, so much! You're such a good pet. Now, focus on the mirror. See how pretty you look? You've never looked more beautiful.

Her cheeks flush more if that's possible. The heat on the bottom of her stomach is about to explode in a ball of fire. 

- I'm so close! - she cries.

That's music to Asmo's ears. He doesn't change a thing, even as he gets close himself and the usual stammered pace should come. Only when he can feel her walls clenching around him and see her eyes close with satisfaction that he allows himself to change speed. His hips stutter once, two, three times, and with a final moan, he empties himself inside of her. 

- You're such a pretty little whore, do you know that? - he asks, taking his cock out of her, watching the white cum spill. 

Ophelia can only nod. A frown reaches Asmodeus's face as he inquires:

- Are you tired? Do you wanna go home and sleep?

- What about the party? - she looks up.

- I don't care about the party, if you're not okay to dance, then I don't want to dance.

The exchange student thinks for a second. Her mind feels so soggy... A nap wouldn't hurt... 

- Yeah, let's go home.

She puts on her bra and gets her panties right, trying to ignore the feeling of Asmodeus' cum drenching the fabric. Her hair is such a mess. 

- I'll fix that for you. - says the demon, taking out a plastic comb from his back pocket. 

He sits on top of the toilet and starts running the comb through her hair, peppering her head with kisses every two seconds. She fixes her dress. 

- You did, so, so good, doll. Really. 

- Really? - she looks up at him, puppy-eyed.

- Really. I love you so much.

She smiles through the smudged makeup. 

- I love you most. 

[mxpseudonym]

Pairing: Tommy x Fem!Reader

Summary: Polly Shelby wants you, a shy, single, slightly anxious churchgoer, to meet her nephew, the dangerous gangster Tommy Shelby. He’s more than gentlemanly at first glance, which only adds to his attractive charm. After weeks of being on edge and going no farther than heavy petting, you finally decide to push for having Tommy devour you. However, entering the bedroom with Tommy Shelby means you’ll have to follow his saucy rules. Agreeing requires a verbal, enthusiastic, “Yes, Sir” and leaving your shame at the door.

Length: 2738 words (allegedly)

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, lite Dom/sub, Consensual as all hell

A/N: Sorry I’m late, but honestly that’s very me so. Anyway, hope you’re ready because I am y/n, you are y/n, we are all y/n this time round. 😏

"Need some help?"

You looked up from where you were kneeling on the floor to see none other than Polly Shelby. You'd pulled your rosary too tight again, and the thread snapped from the tension. Now, before you could stop her, Polly was kneeling and helping you pick them up. 

Polly was always kind to you. When needed, she shared her hymn book and complimented your church hats that matched your dresses particularly well. Even though you never had much to say, she was always casually chatting with you. 

"You're not seeing anyone, are you?" Polly asked, catching you off guard. Was this why she was so lovely? Two women in an empty church, and one of them confesses to the other. What would God say?

"I'm not."

"You should meet my nephew, Thomas. I think you'd make quite the pair." 

You smiled at the invitation. It wasn't out of flattery, per se, but more because you knew it must have been difficult for Polly to be an aunt taking on her duty as a familial matchmaker when her nephews ran the most dangerous gang in Small Health. Polly didn't seem like the type to let anything happen to you if things didn't work out on a simple date, and you felt indebted to her for being such a good friend to you. So you nodded. 

"Well, if he asked me to dinner, I'm sure I wouldn't say no." 

You didn't think much of it, quite frankly. In the year that you'd been in Small Heath, you'd turned down enough dinner invitations to be thought of as a godly woman and a prude. Not that you minded. You were single and childless in the newly bustling city of Birmingham, and living alone for the first time in your life was a luxury you didn't want to give up. You had your mother's pistol tucked in your bag and a vague idea of how to shoot it, so you were safe enough, but the added rumor that you were unapproachable was helpful.

If anything, what surprised you most was Thomas Shelby actually showing up to church that Sunday. Even leaning against the stone wall outside with a cigarette in hand was enough to cause a stir as the congregation poured out of the church. 

He was a handsome man, and his cool, certain eyes seemed to see right through you. Even with your heart thumping in your chest, gravitating towards him was only natural. He was waiting for you, after all. 

"Y/n L/n?" He asked, his voice deep and telling of his : upbringing. It fit him well, you thought as you looked at him from under your sun hat. 

"Mr. Shelby," you said with a nod. 

"My aunt seemingly won't rest until I ask you to dinner," he said, dipping a hand into his pocket to reach for more cigarettes. 

"Oh? Is this you doing it?" 

Tommy's head tilted at you as he took in your smile and looked you over. You were already a bit bold for someone who was meeting a hoodlum. A smirk crept onto his face. He wasn't complaining. 

"Ms. l/n, would you have dinner with me?" He asked. You paused, causing him to sigh and pull out his cigarettes. "My aunt promised I wouldn't get rejected by a beautiful woman if I got the courage to ask. Now I'm embarrassed."

"I'm sure you're not," you said, laughing to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. "But I will go to dinner with you, Mr. Shelby. I did promise Miss Shelby." Tommy looked you over again before nodding.

"I look forward to it."

                                              .:.

When Tuesday evening rolled around, Tommy was at your doorstep in a fine suit. If you had any doubt about your long, beaded dress being nice enough, Tommy pushed the thoughts away in an instant.

"You look stunning, Miss l/n," he praised you while holding out his arm. 

"Thank you, Tommy. You look very handsome tonight as well."

There was an air of authority about him, yet his gaze was soft when he met your eyes and smiled. The car ride was comfortable enough and did nothing to prepare you for the exquisite venue. The ceilings were high, and the decor was elegant. 

"It's my job to find a venue a quarter as lovely as the woman accompanying me, isn't it," Tommy said when you mentioned that it was possibly too fancy for you. 

"Oh please," you murmured, waving away the compliment. 

At some point throughout the night, you wondered if you'd been on a better date. Tommy took care of everything, from directing the butlers in their penguin suits to ordering things he seemed to know you'd like. ON your own, you'd have spent half an hour choosing a meal, and god only knew how long getting a server's attention. But tonight, you were left to focus on his witty storytelling that left you laughing behind your napkin. Tommy raised a hand and grasped yours. It was a small amount of contact but, perhaps the wine or the man himself made you want more of his warmth. All too soon, he gently pulled your hand down and into your lap.  

"Don't hide. I want to hear more from you," Tommy said. Your cheeks flashed hot as your mind took a naughty detour for a moment. 

"Okay, Tommy." 

It was after dinner that truly hooked you to the man. He wrapped you in his jacket before helping you into his car and driving you home. His hand rested on your knee on the way back. Yet, when he stood in front of your door, you were greeted with a hug. You didn't realize it until you leaned into his embrace that you were a bit anxious about a goodnight kiss or even Tommy pushing his way into your apartment. Gangster or not, he was a strong man with a domineering personality. He could have anything he wanted. You hadn't guessed that meant a simple hug and a request for a second date. Still, it left you smiling as you watched his car drive away from the entrance of your apartment. 

                                              .:.

"Ah, this is favorite."

"Really?"

"Winston Churchill himself recommended it."

You turned to Tommy with a skeptical eye. 

"Liar."

"How could I find the strength to lie to you, y/n?"

You rolled your eyes but turned back to the new gramophone in front of you. You had several dates with Tommy, and his gentlemanly behavior only continued. He never tried anything scandalous or forward, even as he managed to charm you to high heaven. There were times you wondered if, and perhaps even secretly hoped for, Tommy would move his hand up your thigh or kiss your neck. But it seemed that every date was an opportunity for him to learn more about you. He was more perceptive than you knew. He understood what you wanted and even made you feel like he could read your mind sometimes. 

You'd had partners before, even an adulterous ex-fiance, but with them, it felt like they were trying to learn your secrets to use against you. With Tommy, it seemed like he used that information to make you happy. Your eyes lit up when he brought you your favorite kind of pastry and a new scarf in your favorite color. 

His latest gift was the record player, and you shamelessly used the gift of music as an excuse to finally invite Tommy inside after a month of dating when it was clear he wouldn't do it himself. 

"You're quite the gentleman, Mr. Shelby," you mused as you slow danced in your living room. Tommy's hand flattened over your spine and pulled you closer. 

"I'd say you're bringing out the best in me yet, Ms. y/l/n."

He leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against yours. You moaned softly against his lips as your swaying left the rhythm of the song to match you and Tommy. There was a hunger in his kiss that made you wonder just how much he was holding back. He could have any woman he wanted, you thought, but he was patiently kissing you to your liking and no more. His hand moved to thumb the buttons on your dress, and you pulled away gently. A guiding hand on your lower back or a calloused hand helping you out of the Bentley made your heart flutter, yet you still hesitated to take things further. 

"Wait, Tommy."

"Hm?"

"Not yet," you said shyly, not able to look him in the eyes. Tommy smirked at you. Little did you know, this confirmed several things he knew about you.

"Good girl."

Your eyes shot up to his in shock. What was this? His choice of words, his praise, the feeling of your insides warming all filled you with a sense of wonder. There was something in his eyes that looked satisfied and almost like an invitation. Would you accept? Accept what exactly? 

Not knowing the question or your answer, you kissed him again. 

                                              .:.

Good girl. 

Those two words were planted in your mind like seeds meant to sprout a specific restlessness. 

You thought about it passively for a while. At first, you wondered if you should be upset. Was Tommy treating you like a child? But nothing he did ever made it feel that way. If anything, Tommy was the one person who treated you most like a woman. After a few weeks, you began to think of it too often. On your lunches with Tommy or when he took you to the horse races, you wondered if he'd repeat it. You were eager to hear him say it. 

When you thought about it alone in the bath, you realized you couldn't hold it together much longer. Your eyes fluttered closed as you remembered that night. But memories turned to fantasy, and you could feel his breath against your ear. 

"Good girl. You're a good girl, y/n."

Your hands moved before you could think much about it. It had been a while since you'd done this, sliding a delicate finger between your legs. 

"Good girl," you whispered, your voice echoing off the walls and sending the praise back to you. You swirled your clit and repeated it again. Thinking of all the ways Tommy had touched you, even innocently, remembering the feeling and that casual smirk he wore. "Tommy, fuck, yes, I'm a good girl- ah!"

Your thighs squeezed your hand as your hips jerked with a strong release. Your eyes opened, and you stared at the ceiling.

"This is getting ridiculous."

                                              .:.

Tommy was just a little too good at listening to you, you decided. Anything you told him not to do was met with praise, and he'd never do it again. You'd expected, based on past experiences with men, that Tommy would try to push you until you were just where he wanted you. Instead, you were the one spacing out during dinner while admiring how good he looked in his suit. Would you prefer it on or off if he were devouring you? 

Tommy asked if you felt alright, which made you ashamed to even think the way you were. When did you get so lewd? It was in your apartment that Tommy let you know he knew exactly what you were thinking. You sat next to him on your couch, handing him a nightcap of brandy. 

"Y/n, you know that I care about you, don't you?"

"Yes, of course." You nodded quickly. Was this actually the end of things? You hoped not.

"I care about you more than I thought I could. And one of those reasons is because you know what you want," said Tommy as he sat his glass down. 

Your brows furrowed at the words. You thought you were indecisive and unable to speak up. If only Tommy knew how you'd been suffering. He continued after reading the confusion on your face. 

"Whenever we come back here, you know how far you want to go, and you know when to make a man like me stop."

"Oh,"

"I won't push you, love. I'm as patient as ever, so if you want more or less, that's up to you. It's whatever you'd like."

Tommy leaned over and placed a hand on your knee reassuringly, though it only helped your heart beat harder. You shifted in your seat, uneasy with the amount of power you realized you had.

"I see." 

"If we do go further, I'd like to implement a few rules. How does that sound?" 

"Rules?" You tilted your head. You liked rules and systems. Even as a coat check girl, you were known for your orderly approach to things. 

"Yes, if you decide that's something you want to explore, we'll talk then. But no need to worry about it until you're ready."

"I actually wanted to talk to you about doing more," you said bashfully, though it was a lie. You'd planned to simply move Tommy's hand under your skirt and have him put you out of your misery.

"Come here, y/n."

Tommy brought you to sit on his lap. His hand caressed your thigh, and the other was around your waist. Your arms wrapped around him as your reveled in the feeling of safety.

"Alright, Mr. Shelby, what are they?" 

"I'm going to tell you them, and you need to remember the order, alright?" He asked, and you nodded, only to have him tsk you. "Ah, love, when I ask you a question, I want to hear your voice. I want to make sure you're sure. That's rule number one: everything we do requires a verbal agreement. Try it now." 

"Oh, then, yes. I'll remember the order, Tommy." 

"Good girl," he praised, making you smile softly. "Rule number two is that you can't cum until I tell you, alright sweetheart?" 

"Tommy!" You jolted in surprise. You didn't know what you thought he was going to say, but that was not it. He chuckled at your reaction and squeezed your waist. He would have stopped if you asked, but for now, he was well aware that you were already starting to squirm in his lap. His sweetheart liked being a little flustered, didn't you? 

"Rule number three is that I am in charge of your body. I have full access to it, and you, love," Tommy reached up and tilted your chin so he could give you a saccharine kiss, "you may not touch yourself unless I say." 

The mix of salacious words and tender caresses sent waves of desire straight to the apex of your thighs. Could Tommy tell that you'd been doing just that? 

"Rule four is that you have to tell me when you don't like something. You do that so well already, and I'm proud of you for that."

"T-thank you," you murmured. You couldn't help but bite your lip. Such simple words of praise were sending you into a mild frenzy. 

"When you want me to stop, just say 'no more, I'm satisfied.' Can you do that?" He asked you, and you nodded. This time, however, you quickly remembered what Tommy told you before. 

"Yes. No more. I'm satisfied," you repeated the phrase while wondering when you'd use it.

"You can say that for anything at all. If you're uncomfortable, or even just a little too tired."

"Okay."

You nodded in agreement, though you couldn't help be feel nervous. After weeks of nothing more than a mild groping hand, Tommy was proving to be this person? But maybe it was the way that you couldn't stop yourself from squirming, trying to press your legs together for some type of friction that made you equally excited. Tommy kissed you again and held your chin. 

"Sweetheart, I promise that I'll use these to make you feel really good. I hope you can trust me, and I trust you to use that voice of yours and tell me when you don't like something, yes?"

"Yes." 

"Do you agree then? Do those rules sound good to you?" He asked you directly.

"Yes," you nodded, then softly adjusted. Something in you made you want to add, "Yes, Sir." 

Tommy squeezed your thigh, and you looked to his eyes to see a burning fierceness in them. He really enjoyed that. It was nice knowing he wasn't embarrassing you. You were in this together.

"Good girl."

[sunset-curve-fantom]

What If- Alive!Luke x Reader

You had spent countless hours attempting to find out the perfectly logical reasoning as to why Luke had blown you off today… But there you were at a two-hour meeting with the wedding planner with no real excuse as to why you were alone yet again.

This was a moment you had been looking forward since you met Luke Patterson. He was a light that was brought into your life right after you lost your Dad, and he was the rock to help you grieve. But no sooner did you become friends, did the two of you fall head over heels for each other. From 17-year-olds to now, everything you did was to further your careers. After all Sunset Curve was your brilliant idea after meeting Alex and Reggie at school.

You wanted nothing more than to live your life out with Luke, he was the one person that meant the world to you. No matter what happened, your love was always a constant.

Flash forward to this moment, where the anger was finally taking over you. How dare he stand you up, again. He was so caught up in the band and the new music, that he forgets that you are also a member. Not like you can play without the rhythm guitarist- but in Luke’s mind he could do anything he wanted.

More than anything you just wished you had the time to be yourselves again, full of happiness and love without the pressure from the band, and record labels, and fans. Just two seconds to focus on you, and this wedding you both desperately wanted- well at least you desperately wanted.

You marched right into rehearsal- they had already started your new song and you weren’t even there! Seriously?

Reggie caught you gaze as you came into the room, the anger clearly emanating off you. He stopped playing, before catching Alex’s attention. They were trying to stay out of the middle of a fight, but lord knows that was not going to happen. Especially now- you were there, and you were angry.

“Hey lover, where ya been?” Luke said as you approached him, he went in for a kiss. You held your hand up in front of your face. Reggie sucked in a deep breath behind you- he knew Luke was in trouble now. You never avoided a kiss, no matter how angry.

“Where have I been? You are kidding me, right? I know that did not just come out of your mouth.” You said, anger gripping your words as you tried to hold back the screaming. You felt hot tears beginning to pool in your eyes. This cannot be happening; he doesn’t even remember.

“Uh-no. I seriously have no idea where you have been all day. We had to start rehearsal without you, you know we have this big showcase coming up. I need you on your game, lovebug.” He said ruffling your hair, trying to get back into rehearsal. But that was the final straw, you couldn’t contain the pain in your chest as anger erupted in your words.

 “Are you actually kidding me? You want to complain to me about being late, and missing things? Luke, you want this huge future for us, for you and me, when I am barely a part of your life now. I have become a shadow in your world, and that is unacceptable. You have music is coursing through your veins and that is truly remarkable but now- now I am a background player again. I am the rhythm guitarist that you sometimes pay attention to, but that’s usually when I fuck up. When we started this together, the band- our future was supposed to include each other and now I am just a face in the crowd. The sad part is you don’t even notice how alone I am.” You screamed at Luke.

He yet again forgot another meeting and he didn’t even know it. If it wasn’t band related, then it wasn’t important, per usual. So yup, he forgot the meeting with the wedding planner and here you were screaming at him, in the middle of rehearsal. You were nothing- and that was clear after today.

“You are being ridiculous, I forgot one meeting, one stupid meeting. It is not the end of the world- you are blowing this completely out of proportion, Y/N. I don’t know why you are acting like a brat.” Luke said back, anger hanging on to every word. Tears sprung to your eyes; you were not being ridiculous. This was your wedding for fucks sake. This was supposed to be your big day and now- god now you don’t even know him.

“I am ridiculous? Luke, are you fucking blind? Clearly you missed the memo again because the meeting was for our wedding, you know the day where I wear a big white dress and commit my life to you? Do you have dementia or something? Cause apparently you forgot about even proposing to me, because YOU HAVE MISSED EVERY MEETING WE HAVE HAD. I am not being a brat, I am upset, and angry, and heartbroken because I thought I was going to spend my life with you but now- now that is over. I am done trying to be perfect for you, and for this band, and for the whole fucking world. I am done. I-I-I just can’t anymore. You now have the perfect what if situation, because what if I never met you, I wouldn’t be so fucked up.” You raised your voice, clearly angry at him. You yanked your ring off your finger placing it on his amp and turning on your heel. This just was not working- not anymore, if he made some effort then maybe- but now, you had no idea what you saw in him all those years ago.

You heard heavy steps behind you, so you ran. Trying to reach the comfort of your car, not wanting to have another fight. You had just dumped Luke, and you didn’t even mean too. Everything you said- you never meant. You were just so mad, you heard Luke’s voice behind you, “WAIT”

You closed your car door behind you, briskly pulling out of the driveway. You could see Luke in your rearview mirror- Reggie was comforting him. You knew he was heartbroken- but you couldn’t be a background pawn any longer. You were supposed to be his future wife, and he treated you like dirt.

You drove around for what felt like hours before going to the one place you knew Luke wouldn’t be- Alex’s apartment.

Wiping your cheeks, you knocked softly on the door. Waiting for Alex to pop his head out, but instead it was Reggie who opened the door,

“Hey Reg- can I come in? I’m just not ready to go home”

He nodded, stepping to the side. He knew how much you were hurting; Reg was your best friend and you confided everything in him. He knew that Luke had blown off multiple meetings and he knew how confused you were, he was so happy about the wedding in the beginning and now- he could give two shits about it, clearly.

You plopped down on the couch; Reggie followed close behind. He knew you just needed a listening ear.

“Reg… I-I-I” You couldn’t even find the words before sobs began pouring out of you. You thought you and Luke were going to be endgame and now- that probably wasn’t going to happen. You had ruined everything with your mouth getting in the way.

“I am only going to say this once- you have not lost him. You are his entire world, no matter how much he has fucked up” Reggie said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. He knew Luke better than anyone and what he was saying was the truth, Luke would go down fighting for you.

You giggled under your breath, “Yeah I know Reg, you don’t speak girl. But thanks for trying. I just messed up today, I let my anger get the better of me but at the same time Luke shouldn’t have stood me up, AGAIN. I mean you know how it has been, it’s awful. Like I am pretty sure the wedding planner thinks I am marrying myself. How am I supposed to plan a wedding when he is too busy for even a simple meeting? Like he would probably miss our wedding day all together because he is so damn busy…” You said, trying to bring humor to the situation. Luke was your person and now, now you needed to fix everything.

You looked at Reggie who hadn’t spoken to you, but you followed his gaze to the kitchen. There was Luke, with his head deep as anything in the fridge eavesdropping on your conversation. He was seriously a five-year-old.

“Seriously Luke? Do you have to listen into everything? I am not exactly happy with you!” You said annoyed.

He chuckled at you, “I know you aren’t happy with me. But I wanted to give you space, I didn’t think you would come here… I thought you would go home. I didn’t think you would actually want to see me. ”

You shook your head, “I didn’t want to intrude, that is why I came here instead. I didn’t want another fight, cause I am tired of it. I am tired of feeling less. ”

He walked towards where you were sat, “Honey- there would be no fighting. I am going to make this simple. I love you- and I wish I had known how much of an idiot I have been. I love you more than anything in this world, including my music. You are the inspiration behind everything I do, and I am so so so so sorry I forgot the meetings. I have been trying so hard to plan things in advance so we could have an incredible wedding. Oh baby, I am so so sorry for making you feel less. You are my whole world, hell my whole solar system and I wish I had noticed how sad you have been. I want nothing more to be your husband, if you will still have me...?”

Tears ran down your face, “You really wanted to marry me?”

He laughed, wiping tears off your face with his thumb, “of course, you dork. I wouldn’t have asked in the first place if I didn’t.”

You threw yourself off the couch and into his grip, it was the first time in a long time you felt safe and at home. You tightened your grip around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. He just chuckled in your ear before pressing his lips to yours, it was like you were made for each other. Every kiss felt like it was molded perfectly for the two of you.

You truly were a match made in heaven.

“That’s like super gross…. Can you go home and have sex? I really don’t need that image in my living room, especially on my new carpet.” Alex said, causing laughter to escape from the both of you.

“Too late for that bud... that carpet is way broken in. ” Luke said before throwing you over his shoulder. Trying to run away form the horrified look rested on Alex’s face.

You were barely out the door when you heard Alex screaming orders at Reg, “OH MY GOD, REGINALD GET THE STEAM CLEANER. I-UH-UH I NEED TO CLEAN. THIS IS DISGUSTING. I LAY ON THIS CARPET. UGHHHH”

You were home, and that was the most important thing to you. You knew some way, some how Luke was your endgame and that was not going to change.

@parkeret​ @coldlamaspersonspy​ @calamitykaty​ @all-in-fangirl​