#and i think that says.. a lot abt me like i love slice of life with a Spin.. i love women and stories abt women ir written by women

[prdx-invdr]

୨୧⸝⸝﹕it’s salty in the middle of those sweet moments.

SUMMARY! for reasons unknown to him, you seem to absolutely hate lee anton. on several occasions, he’s tried to hate you right back, but found that it can be difficult to dislike someone when you’re completely infatuated with them.

PAIRING! lee anton x fem!reader

GENRE! college!au, slice of life, swim team!au idk what to call it actually but anton and reader are both captains, fluff, angst (kinda), (one-sided) enemies to lovers WC 6.6k

WARNING! swearing, reader is mean to anton for a while, miscommunication, i have no knowledge of swimming as a sport and had to do a lot of research for this one so sorry if this contains some inaccuracies, not proofread

NOTE! when anon requested this i jumped out of my seat bc rivals to lovers with anton was my very first wip on this acc but i scrapped it and this gave me an excuse to write abt it again

anton thinks the world of you while you think nothing of him. he’s unsure of how someone he thinks of so highly could hate him so much, and he’s even more unsure of how he could still be so enamored by you despite knowing that you feel the exact opposite way about him.

he gave up on trying to understand the root of your hatred towards him long ago.

at first, he assumed that you were just jealous of the fact that the boy’s swim team had a bigger budget than the girl’s. this wasn’t anton’s fault by any means, but he thought that you might’ve been taking your anger out on him due to his position as team captain. the school administration seemed to simply favor the boy’s swim team over yours, and even anton knew that it wasn’t fair. the favoritism meant that anton’s team received better funding, which inevitably meant better… everything.

anton vividly remembers the glare that you’re always giving him only growing in intensity the day he and his team stepped into the pool area wearing their brand new goggles and swim trunks. he recalls the way the other girls on your team looked down at their own worn out swimsuits upon seeing anton’s team’s new attire, and he felt terrible. if it were up to him, he would’ve entered the room wearing the same faded blue swim jammers he and his teammates were forced to wear at the start of the semester if it meant you’d stop looking at him with such disdain in your eyes.

if this had been the reason behind your distaste for the boy, he would’ve understood. but the hatred you held for him extended beyond swimming, too.

“your hair looks stupid like that,” he hears you mutter from behind him. he turns around, an indifferent expression adorning his features to mask his nervousness.

the fact that you still manage to get the boy’s heart racing and his palms sweating despite your cruel words is baffling to him.

anton’s teeth sink into his bottom lip, wanting to retaliate but not having the slightest idea what to say. “my hair looks like this everyday,” is all he can pathetically exhale.

you’re still staring at him with a furrowed brow and he stares back at you, perplexed. he wonders if you have anything else to say to him or if you were insulting his hair for the pure fun of it. he thinks he’d be fine with either, because at least you’re talking to him.

he feels like slapping himself in the forehead at his own lovesickness.

after a few moments of silence, you scoff, signaling with your hand that you want him to move out of your way.

wordlessly, anton obliges, stepping aside and watching as you continue on your way to whatever class you have next. he notices merely seconds afterwards that the hallway he’s currently standing in isn’t narrow in the slightest, meaning you could’ve easily gone around him and still insisted on making him move. he wishes he could dislike you— he really does.

anton turns around to find sohee and seunghan now leaning against the wall, having observed the entire interaction between you and their love-struck friend. sohee looks at him pitifully while seunghan claps, slowly and sarcastically.

“don’t,” is all anton says to them, hanging his head. he knows that they’d like to drill another lesson into his mind about how he needs to stop letting you push him around like that, and he’s not in the mood for it.

“anton, my man,” seunghan sighs, putting an arm around his shoulders. “i get that you like her, i really do, and that she’s pretty and all,” he feels anton’s shoulders momentarily tense at his words, “but i don’t think she’s into you. like, at all.”

anton shrugs the older boy’s arm off, shaking his head. “i don’t like her,” he lies through gritted teeth. sohee and seunghan share an unamused look.

in actuality, the two of them were there to witness anton fall for you firsthand. when their younger friend first saw you and two of your friends walking through the quad area of campus, they watched the way his eyes widened and the way the oxygen left his lungs. they recall thinking that anton’s heart would burst out of his chest and fall right onto the grass below the three of them. his friends were in disbelief that anton was currently standing in front of them and denying his feelings for you when they quite literally saw him develop said feelings in real time.

when anton found out that you were captain of the girl’s swim team, it only solidified the way he felt about you. being captain of the boy’s swim team himself, he thought it was the perfect setup. he was too shy to nonchalantly walk up to you and initiate conversation, but he had the notion that swimming would make good enough of an excuse.

his hopes of becoming acquainted with you through your shared interest in the sport were crushed almost immediately. when he first tried to strike up a conversation with you, you sent him a scowl that intimidated him into walking the other way. on a separate occasion, he attempted to talk to you again, only for you to turn your head and pretend that you hadn’t heard him. he hasn’t tried to initiate anything ever since, the only time the two of you ever interact being whenever you glare at him or make a remark about him in passing.

he never found out what your problem was when it came to him, and he doesn’t think he ever will.

anton sees sohee and seunghan’s solemn faces and scoffs. “i’m serious, guys!” he complains, “you’ve seen the way she acts towards me. why would i like somebody like that? that’s like setting myself up for failure.” his chest tightens as the words leave his mouth. he only said that so his friends would drop the subject, but he knows that there’s truth behind his statement. the two boys only exhale disappointedly.

sohee purses his lips. “if she didn’t absolutely hate you for no reason, you guys would probably look good together,” he comments. seunghan nods, “too bad she’s got a stick up her ass.”

for whatever reason, anton wants to defend you and tell his friend that there is no stick up your ass— you’re only hostile when it comes to him. he realizes how pitiful that sentence would sound to sohee and seunghan and decides against saying it out loud.

“stop being hung up on that girl, anton,” sohee chimes, putting a hand on his friend’s arm, “there’s plenty of fish in the sea. you would know all about that, right? since you’re a swimmer and all.”

seunghan hits sohee in the arm jokingly. “he’s on the swim team, not a fucking merman.”

“he’s so cute, are you kidding me?” you hear rei practically squeal as you step into the locker room. she and jiwon are both already wearing their swimsuits, and the latter looks up upon hearing you enter the room.

“who are we talking about?” you smile, setting down your backpack. it’s late in the afternoon and you’re relieved to be done with your classes for the day, finally able to do what you love most.

“um,” jiwon begins, “no one in particular. right, rei?” your friend sounds a bit on edge as she turns to the girl sitting on the bench beside her, who shrugs. “we’re talking about anton,” she replies, earning a slap on the arm from jiwon. “ow! what the hell?”

jiwon watches as you halt your process of taking off your shirt, about to change into your swimsuit. she knew that your mood would turn sour at the mention of the boy; it’s a known fact amongst the members of your team that you hate lee anton.

“you think anton is cute?” you turn to rei, frowning. the girl lets out a huff of air, her bangs moving in the process. “i don’t see how you don’t,” she mutters, “and i don’t get why you hate his guts either. he’s super nice.”

you continue changing, the two girls looking away from you as you do so out of respect. “you wouldn’t understand,” is all you say in response. jiwon bites her lip, feeling bad for the boy. she’s seen it all— the fleeting, longing glances anton sends your way, and the scornful looks you send him in return. she doesn’t comment on it, not wanting to upset you, but a minuscule, intrusive part of her desperately wants to know what’s going on between you and the captain of the boy’s team.

rei, however, seems to know no boundaries. “would you be mad if i dated him, then?” she chortles, giddily kicking her legs. not facing you, she doesn’t see the way you grow tense at her question. you open your mouth to respond when a knock at the locker room door startles the three of you.

the door opens a fraction and you turn to see yujin pop her head inside. “are you guys almost ready?” she asks, scanning the room before her eyes land on you. “oh, hey, captain,” she smiles, eyes forming crescents. you wave, and the older girl continues. “coach wanted me to remind you guys that we have a joint training session today,” she clenches her teeth for a second, eyes moving to jiwon and rei who are wearing matching nervous expressions at the reminder. “you know, with the boys team,” yujin finishes, not daring to look you in the eye in fear of how you might react.

as captain of the team, you were curious as to why your coach would want to remind you of that, seeing as you were often the first person to obtain this information. upon deeper thought, you realize it was probably because even your coach knew about your hatred towards anton and wanted you to stay focused this time around rather than glaring at him every few minutes. you almost let out a laugh at the thought.

“you hear that, captain?” rei teases, “prepare yourself! don’t let anton distract you this time.”

you throw a towel in her direction, earning a grunt from her. “i should be telling you that,” you scold, “seeing as you’re obsessed with him all of a sudden.”

rei laughs, and you’re unsure of how to feel when you come to the realization that she didn’t disagree with your statement.

once you finally leave the locker room, you come face to face with your sworn enemy himself.

anton doesn’t look in your direction for as long as he normally does, memories of your interaction from earlier in the day flooding his mind. no matter how small of a gesture it is, your teammates take notice of it. “he’s not staring at you today,” gaeul whispers, shocked.

you only shake your head. “like i care,” you spit, crossing your arms, “i prefer it that way, actually. he should focus on his own team.”

wonyoung puts her hands on your shoulders from behind, lightly shaking you. “loosen up, okay?” she advises, her own eyes drifting over to anton’s team. as if on cue, anton looks over at you for a moment, watching as you joke around with your teammate. he wishes that you were even half as nice to him as you are to your team, wondering what it would be like to laugh with you the same way wonyoung is right now.

noticing anton’s preoccupied state, one of his teammates calls out to him. “captain!” anton turns his head away from you, looking his teammate in the eye. “yeah, taesan? you need something?” he inquires, getting back into his leader headspace. taesan looks over anton’s shoulder at your team, making the inference that he had been distracted by you. like always, taesan thinks to himself.

“do some stretches with me, yeah?” he says, wanting anton to fully dedicate himself to practicing instead of letting you pose as an obstacle.

anton is a good team captain— any of his teammates can attest. but it feels like anytime you’re in his presence, he’s only able to give 80% as opposed to his usual hundred, the other 20% being spent completely fixated on you.

he walks over to his dark haired teammate with a nod, agreeing to help him warm up. he thinks it serves as a more productive way to pass time than staring at you like a lovesick idiot.

“i was thinking,” taesan starts, copying the way anton does shoulder stretches to loosen his joints, “well, me and leehan were talking about it, actually. we should do a bonfire later, at the beach,” he tells the older boy.

anton licks his lips, nodding absentmindedly. “just you and leehan?” he asks, looking around the room for the boy in question. he sees leehan standing in the corner looking disinterested and waves him over. with an inaudible sigh, leehan reluctantly joins the two boys who are now doing tricep stretches. taesan shakes his head in response to the question anton had posed, “no, i meant, like, the whole team,” he corrects. “tell him, leehan,” taesan nudges his teammate.

“i hate stretching,” leehan murmurs, gaze aimed towards the white tiles beneath him. “about the bonfire, dumbass,” taesan deadpans. leehan perks up at the mention of something that he actually cares about. “oh, yeah! we’re gonna invite the whole team,” he grins, “it’ll be a blast, anton. you’ve gotta go.”

anton thinks it over, biting the inside of his cheek. “it’s already kind of late though, no?” he points out, causing the two boys on either side of him to groan. “bonfires are literally supposed to happen at night,” taesan comments at the same time leehan says, “don’t be such a buzzkill.”

“is the girls team invited?” anton can’t stop himself from asking, earning more groans from the two boys. “i don’t want to go through the trouble of inviting them,” leehan complains. “yeah,” his friend nods, “plus, he’s only asking because he wants their captain to be there.”

taesan’s comment makes anton come to a halt, and he’s now the only one out of the three of them no longer stretching. “that’s not true,” he defends himself, “i just feel kind of bad. i mean, we already have a bigger budget than them, and stuff.”

“keep telling yourself that, champ,” leehan grumbles. “we see right through you.” anton steps forward, looking at both of them simultaneously. “guys, seriously,” he says lowly, “i feel bad.”

taesan lets out a laugh, “right, you feel bad that you won’t be able to make heart eyes at y/n tonight.”

anton rubs his palm across his face, frustrated. “here’s an offer for you. you either invite the girls team, or…” he pauses, attempting to appear intimidating, “you’re not allowed to have the bonfire at all.”

the two boys scoff in unison. “you can’t just do that,” taesan snorts, “you’re our captain, not our mom.” anton scratches his head at that, disorientated. “look, i— okay,” he tries again, “i don’t know. i’ll buy you guys food, or something.”

it’s now taesan and leehan’s turn freeze in their places. “why didn’t you start with that?”

practice ends faster than you wish it had and you hoist your bag over your shoulder. you turn to jiwon and rei, about to ask if they’re ready to leave when you’re interrupted by two loud voices. “girls! hey!” you turn your head to see two members of the boys swim team— who’s names you never bothered to learn— running up to you and your friends.

“hey,” one of them pants, “don’t leave yet.” you look at your friends once more, studying their expressions that look just as confused as yours. “anton wanted— ouch!” the boy is interrupted by his friend slapping him on the arm harshly, as if he had said something wrong. “all of us, i mean, wanted to know if you girls would like to join us tonight,” the boy finishes, rubbing his arm while sending a subtle glare in his friend’s direction.

“join you.. in doing what, exactly?” you inquire, serious as ever. the two boys seemingly grow smaller under your intimidating gaze as if they hadn’t anticipated your somber attitude. “we’re doing a bonfire,” the other boy replies, pointing his thumb in the direction of the rest of his team. you look over the boy’s shoulder, your eyes landing upon anton, who is already looking at you. upon seeing your eyes scan over him, he looks away.

rei claps her hands together a few times, “we’ll be there! thank you for inviting us.” her words startle you and you open your mouth to protest. you had just been seconds away from telling the boys in front of you that you weren’t interested.

“yeah, count us in!” jiwon chimes, and you want the tiled floor below to swallow you whole. “you guys have fun, then,” you tell them, eyes swimming with boredom, “i’m going home.”

“no!” the boys in front of you shout in unison, startling you and your team. “you have to come. especially,” one of them pleads. “and why is that?” you put one hand on your hip, intimidating them further.

everyone already seems to know the answer to your question before the boys can even formulate the words to say it. “our captain wants you to.”

your teammates all but drag you to the beach against your will, uttering complaints about how you “need to learn how to have fun” and how they’ve “been waiting for something exciting like this to happen”.

within the first 5 minutes of your arrival, you’ve already tried to escape more times than your friends are able to count. wonyoung had to keep a tight grip on your wrist to ensure that you wouldn’t go anywhere, and you swear at the girl in your head for being stronger than she appears.

“i can’t believe anton himself told his friends to invite us just so he could see y/n,” rei mutters, astonished, “do you have any idea how lucky you are?”

“that’s definitely not the reason,” you deny, already wanting to drop the topic, “they probably just thought it would be funny because everybody on the planet knows that i hate him.”

and while taesan and leehan are most definitely aware of your hatred towards their captain, their reasoning for inviting you and your team really was because anton wanted to see you.

“invite the girls team!” leehan mocks, intentionally making his voice sound higher, “i feel sooo bad for them!” anton pays no mind to the way he’s being blatantly teased, his eyes trained on you. “feel bad for them my ass,” taesan comments under his breath, “he’s already making heart eyes at her, just like i said.”

“you’re a real masochist, you know that?” leehan adds, waving a hand in front of anton’s line of sight. the taller boy blinks in response as if he had broken out of whatever trance you had him under. “that girl doesn’t even try to hide the fact that she hates you, and you’re still, like, obsessed with her.”

anton sharply exhales through his nose, not needing another reminder of the fact that you dislike him and that he’s stupid for helplessly pining after you.

“i’ve heard that a million times,” he retorts, “and i’m not obsessed with her. in fact, i’m starting to hate her, too.”

he thinks that lying to his teammates is just as difficult as lying to sohee and seunghan, only receiving humorless looks in response to his statement. “right,” taesan scoffs, “you hate her so much that you forced me and leehan to invite the entire girls swim team just so you could see her.” anton lightly hits him with the back of his hand, muttering, “i told you that’s not the reason.”

all three boys turn to look at you, arms crossed and unamused. “oh, man,” leehan laughs, “she’s bored out of her fucking mind.” anton watches you carefully, your eyes burning a hole in the sand beneath your shoes. “why don’t you go talk to her, captain?” taesan teases, slapping his friend on the back boyishly. anton staggers forward about a centimeter due to the impact, looking back at the boy. “or anyone on the girls team, for that matter. since you made us invite every single one of them,” leehan quips.

but anton thinks that talking to you would only dampen your mood even further, and he doesn’t want the glare that you’re currently directing towards the sand to be aimed at him. “try talking to her, right there,” leehan points to someone in your general direction and anton follows his finger with his gaze, “naoi rei. she’s one of y/n’s closest friends, i think.”

taesan lets out another scoff, “yeah, but she’s not y/n. anton wants y/n, not the next best thing.”

jiwon and rei stand next to the bonfire, and you overhear one of them comment on how it isn’t as big as they were expecting it to be. you see wonyoung and yujin sitting on some large rocks a short distance away from the shore. you quickly scan the perimeter looking for gaeul, who you find sitting on the sand and looking up at the stars. your friends are all enjoying themselves— why aren’t you?

as per usual, you want to blame your discomfort on the fact that anton is in your vicinity. but how exactly could you do that when he hasn’t interacted with you all night?

come to think of it, your last interaction with the boy in question was earlier today when you told him that his hair looked stupid. you shake your head at the memory— you hadn’t even meant it. you actually liked his hair, but you’d rather drop dead than admit that to him. you hate lee anton with a burning passion, and you hate that you like his hair.

you hate that you’re currently sitting here wishing that he would come up to you and say something. after all, your friends dragged you here and his teammates made it seem as though your attendance was obligatory. the way you see it, the least anton could do after subjecting you to all of that is talk to you. you suppose that you can’t really blame him for not wanting to, though. you kick the sand beneath you at the realization.

you’re not sure how much time you spend thinking about the boy you swear to hate with every fiber of your being, but you conclude that a few long minutes must’ve gone by, because suddenly you look up and find that both your team and anton’s team are gathered around the fire. you watch them carefully, eyes wandering from individual to individual.

you see yujin laughing with some guy from the other team. you see the two boys that invited you and your friends to this very event. finally, your eyes land on anton, and you regret it almost immediately.

he’s nervously scratching the back of his neck the way you often catch him doing. he’s got a bashful smile on his lips as he looks down at whoever he’s currently talking to. you crane your neck to see who that may be, and find that it’s none other than your own teammate and friend— naoi rei.

you make a face of disgust that no one sees, and only then do you realize that you’re still standing a good distance away from the large group. “oh my god,” you scowl. you run a hand over your face, conflicted. you already hated being here, and seeing anton converse with one of your closest friends might’ve just made your attitude towards this whole situation a million times worse. you know that rei is probably over the moon right now, looking up at him with a twinkle in her eye and a girlish smile.

you want to be happy for her— you think that any good friend would jump at the sight of their teammate getting along with the person they find attractive— and you swear that you would be if the person she was talking to was anyone but him. you tell yourself that it’s because rei deserves better than him, ignoring the way your heart plummets. he was only going to chase after you for so long.

you shake your head rapidly as if it would rid your mind of the thought, not knowing where it came from in the first place.

you need to get out of here— asap.

you hate lee anton and you hate that you like his hair and you hate that you spent a decent amount of time tonight wishing that he’d speak to you.

you hate that you even care in the slightest that he’s currently flirting with your best friend and you hate that almost everyone here managed to convince you that he and his teammates invited you simply because he wanted you here.

you discreetly make your way around the group, advancing towards the shore. you don’t think anyone sees you as you do so, hearing the sound of their laughter grow more distant with each step you take towards the sea. as you continue moving forward absentmindedly, you don’t realize that you’re already knees deep in the water until a salty wave crashes into you, reaching the area below your thigh.

“what are you doing?” your head quickly turns to find the source of the voice and you scowl once you realize who it is.

of course, anton chooses now to finally talk to you.

you turn back around, ignoring him, because that’s how you are— you think about him more than you’d ever like to admit and act indifferent towards him once he’s in your presence. anton watches as you turn your back to him, unsure of why he assumed that this interaction with you would be any different from your interactions in the past.

nonetheless, with bravery that he didn’t even know he had, anton continues talking. “you could get sick if you go any further,” he blurts out.

in truth, anton had been watching you through his peripheral vision as he was conversing with rei, and saw as you treaded through the sand and into the water. he excused himself— he had been looking for a way to escape the conversation anyway— and followed your silhouette that was now standing in the ocean, letting waves collide with your legs.

in retrospect, he should’ve thought of something to say to you beforehand, because if the mere act of him talking to you wasn’t enough to piss you off, anton was sure that lecturing you about how you could get sick from swimming at night would definitely cause you to flip your lid.

his suspicions appear to have been correct, because you whip your head back around and give him an angry look. “what are you doing here?” you spit, expecting him to flinch and avoid your gaze the same way that he always does.

“why can’t i be here?” he presses, furrowing his brow, and you’re the one that flinches. “do you own the ocean?”

you’re sure that steam would be coming out of your ears right now if you were living in an old cartoon. you clench your fist, taken aback.

“why do you hate me so much, y/n?” anton pleads, unable to prevent the million dollar question from leaving his lips. this is a position he never thought he’d find himself in; confronting you about your unadulterated hatred towards him while your entire bottom half is almost completely submerged in the ocean.

your lip quivers and you clench your teeth as you feel your resilient facade start to crack. neither you nor anton are sure where his daring attitude came from, but it seems to be catching both of you by surprise, because even the boy in question moves to wipe his palms against his jeans to rid them of their clamminess. “answer me,” he demands, his voice as soft as it normally is and yet it still intimidates you.

you turn around for the forth and final time, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of discovering the root of your distaste towards him. anton shakes his head, although you’re unable to see it, and sharply inhales in preparation for what he’s about to do.

he cautiously takes a step forward, letting the water dampen the cuffs of his jeans. he cringes, but proceeds nevertheless, mimicking the strides that you had taken minutes prior.

before you’re able to prevent it from happening, anton is standing directly beside you, jeans darkening as the water seeps into them, and you nearly jump out of your skin.

the tall boy leans forward, and you lean back. “answer me,” he repeats his previous words in a hushed voice.

you’re looking down at the water that the two of you are standing in and anton thinks it’s funny, for a moment, how the roles seem to be reversed— you’re tense and apprehensive while he’s bold and collected, trying to crane his neck to meet your downward pointed gaze.

“you should know the reason why,” he hears you speak under your breath. you finally look at him, eyes narrowed. “you’re making fun of me, aren’t you?” you question, and he recoils.

“i’m not— what? why would— why do you think i’m making fun of you?” anton sputters, genuinely appalled at the accusation. he’s unable to wrap his head around what kind of thoughts might be running through your mind right now.

“because there’s no way in hell that you don’t know why i hate you, lee anton,” you say, words flying from your mouth hurriedly. “there’s no way you just let me push you around and stare at you like you’re the scum of the earth if you don’t know the reason why. you have to know,” you look into his eyes in search of an answer but you’re only met with confusion.

anton shakes his head. “i don’t know, y/n,” he begins, “i really don’t know, and i’m sorry if you think i’m playing a prank on you right now, but i’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.”

he looks down momentarily, his eyes landing on his wet jeans. when he looks back up, he’s zoned in on the way the moon makes your eyes look as though they’re sparkling, and he thinks it’s beautiful. “you may know this already,” he starts speaking again, “but i’m in love with you.”

he makes sure not to stutter or appear anxious in the slightest, afraid that if he made the slightest mistake, he’d try to prevent the words from leaving his mouth. and he needs you to know.

your lips part, his words shocking you more than anything else that has taken place tonight. “i’m always lying to my teammates and my friends, saying that i don’t like you because they think i’m insane for chasing after someone who wishes i didn’t even exist,” anton continues, his tone becoming sorrowful, “but i can’t lie anymore. especially not to you.”

by now, both of your hearts are pounding, and you’re sure that they would be audible if it weren’t for the sounds of the waves crashing. “so, no,” he says, “the reason i let you push me around isn’t because i know why you hate me. it’s because i’m in love with you, and no matter how hard i try, i can’t stop.”

he waits for you to respond, eyes trained on yours. you finally start speaking, lowly and carefully. “there was this guy,” you tell him, “you used to hang out with him last year. i would see you and him laughing together all the time, with two other friends of yours.”

taking in your words, anton ponders who you could be referring to before his eyes widen slightly. “wonbin?” he asks, although he has no doubt in his mind that you’re talking about his older friend. wonbin, seunghan, sohee and anton were practically attached at the hip during the latter’s freshman year of college, and when wonbin made the decision to drop out in order to pursue a career in music, the other three were left to fend for themselves.

you scoff, despite wanting to contain your hostility towards the boy after his confession. “i don’t know his name,” you mumble, “but yeah, that’s probably him.”

anton nods, urging you to continue. he’s finally going to find out why you’ve disliked him for as long as he can remember and he doesn’t want to waste a second. “he told me that you liked me,” you say, watching as the boy flinches in your peripheral at your words. “and i was so happy at the time because i liked you, too.”

it’s anton’s turn to be stunned by your confession, not believing the words that are coming out of your mouth. “i would always look at you, but you’d never look at me back. when your friend— wonbin, i guess— told me that you liked me, i thought that meant you would talk to me,” you shake your head at the memory, “but you never did. it was like i didn’t even exist to you.”

you keep talking, quietly, “every single person who knew me knew that i liked you. one day, i saw you guys laughing together like you always did, and then it clicked in my brain.” you’re silent for a moment before you continue. “i figured that you must’ve known that i liked you, too, and told your friend to say that to me as some sort of cruel joke.”

anton is yet again appalled at your words. “you only seemed to start caring about my existence at the beginning of last semester. you tried to come up to me a few times, and i always assumed it was because you were finally feeling bad about the whole wonbin thing and wanted to apologize, and i didn’t want to hear it. it was around that time that i started hating you.”

you scratch the back of your neck, not having thought that you’d ever admit any of this to the boy standing beside you. anton swallows before he thinks over his next words. “i didn’t know about any of that,” he assures you, and he can sense that you doubt his words momentarily because he starts talking faster. “i’m not sure what prompted wonbin to say that to you, but i can tell you this,” he whispers, “i’ve been in love with you from the very first time i saw you, and no amount of insults or glares from you is ever going to change that.” for a moment, even the waves of the ocean seem to still, leaving only the sound of anton’s voice ringing in your ears.

you’re not used to feeling this vulnerable, and the fact that you’re sharing a moment like this with lee anton— the man you (no longer) hate— sends a shiver down your spine. you find yourself searching for a sense of familiarity, even if it comes in the form of playful banter rather than the usual insult.

“say that again,” you tell him, and he’s unsure if you’re being serious at first. when silence lingers in the air, he finally begins speaking. “i’ve… been in love with you since the first time i saw you,” anton says, unsure. you shake your head, displeased.

“put it in the present tense,” you purse your lips, crossing your arms. anton lets out a curt laugh, now realizing that you’re actually joking with him. so this, he thinks, is what it feels like to laugh with you. “i’m in love with you, y/n,” by now, he’s adorning a smile that reaches his eyes, head slightly tilted towards the ground bashfully.

“wanna know something, lee anton? i think i might be, too.”

weeks later, you’re swinging open the doors to the pool area, the smell of chlorine crashing into you as you step inside.

the boys team is in the middle of practicing, leehan and taesan— who’s names you finally learned after enduring weeks of their relentless teasing, always having to hear a complaint from them about how their team captain is even less focused than before since the two of you started dating— spotting you almost immediately. they let out exaggerated groans, knowing they now have to witness you and anton grossly interact.

“captain!” taesan calls out with dread lacing his tone, “your girlfriend is here.” upon hearing that, anton, who is currently in the pool, whips his head around so quickly that you’re almost positive he could’ve gotten whiplash. you wave, and rather than exiting the water, he swims over to where you stand on the poolside. looking up at you, he smiles, slightly out of breath. “hey, lovely,” he says, removing the goggles from around his head so he can study you better.

he pays no mind to the sounds of his teammates gagging in the background, not looking anywhere but at you.

to say that both your team and anton’s team were surprised upon hearing about your blossoming relationship with the boy would be an understatement. not only did both teams have to grow accustomed to the fact that you no longer hated anton, but they also needed to get used to the mere concept of you two dating each other. it wasn’t as though you two no longer served as distractions to the other, however— if anything, you both stared at each other even more than you had previously, the difference being that now you looked at anton with adoration in your eyes rather than resentment.

“i don’t know if seeing you two together makes my heart want to explode with joy, or if it makes me wanna throw up,” you recall rei telling you during practice one day. anton has shared similar stories, stating that although both taesan and leehan are happy to see their captain in a relationship with the girl he’s been pining after, they hate the way anton apparently never shuts up about you during training.

you look down at the boy, flashing him a smile of your own. droplets of water threaten to fall into his eyes, but he doesn’t seem to mind. “hey,” you hum, “i won’t bother you long. just checking in.” anton shakes his head, water spraying the floor beneath you in the process. “you never bother me,” he says.

“oh, hush,” you wave your hand dismissively. “i’m serious. hey, can you come down here for a sec?” anton asks, gesturing for you to crouch next to the pool. you give him a suspicious look, morphing your lips into a tight line. “anton, i’m not letting you pull me in there.”

he shakes his head again, letting out a laugh. “i’m not gonna pull you in,” he tells you, and you still aren’t convinced. “y/n!” he whines, stretching the final syllable. you look to the ceiling for a moment, letting out a scoff before kneeling down next to the pool.

in a swift motion, anton grabs your shoulders and lands a kiss on your lips. it’s wet from the water of the pool and you pull away, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. anton is laughing as you swat at his arm, muttering something about how he got your shirt wet.

anton sees an opportunity in the fact that you haven’t stood up yet, fully wrapping his arms around your shoulders, nearly causing you to fall into the chlorinated water. his laughter only increases in volume, and his teammates don’t think they’ve ever heard him laugh that hard. you let out a yelp, feeling the water continue to seep through the fabric of your shirt. you struggle against his embrace, and he shows no signs of releasing you. “lee anton! oh my god— i hate you!”

you both know that you’re lying.

AUTHOR’S NOTE! this is my 30th time trying to post this but we move

[hwallazia]

SOOTHE ME, SUGAR – 최산

synopsis . in which san pampers his girlfriend when it’s that time of the month for her.

pairing . choi san & fem! reader

genre . fluff, fluff, and fluff (you’ve been warned), comfort, slice of life, established relationship, non idol!au

taglist . @bro-atz | apply to join my taglist ♡

word count . 1,5k

DISCLAIMER! blood (ofc since we’re talking abt menstruation), nicknames (princess, love, sannie & more), very relatable (ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ)

NIC’S NOTES lowercase is intentional! (wrote it at 1:00am, half asleep (⁠｡⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)) also! i recommend listening to ocean eyes by billie eilish and love songs by kaash paige while reading this. yk, for the vibe ;)

“sannieee”

you moaned from your bed, wrapped in the sheets like a burrito, your knees knocking against your chest in search of some kind of relief. your belly generated pressure throughout your lower area that became more unbearable as the minutes passed, which seemed to be hours. fortunately, san knows how to act in the most docile way in these cases.

as soon as you finished college, you and san decided to live together without having the slightest idea of how challenging, exciting, and companionable that process would be. both of you, although you were in a relationship before living together, had to know, respect, and get used to each other’s home habits, since it would be something you would live with for a long time.

it was somewhat difficult to understand san’s attitudes, which varied depending on his momentary needs, how tired he was, and other factors that affected his behavior in the apartment. but with a lot of patience and love, you managed to understand at least the basics of what you should know about the topic: “choi san and home.” the path you had to take to know the person “choi san” in its entirety was a long one and one that you were willing to walk until the end of your days if necessary.

there was no shortage of discussions; there were many that were needed to be able to understand aspects of both him and you. when faced with an argument, san, first of all, would dedicate himself to listening to what you have to say, he would pay all of his attention to listening to your sentimental and very expressive arguments. once you’re done, he’d continue saying his and finally give a solution to the problem that divides you and wait for your excellent approval.

despite being very understanding and collected in discussions, san hates them with all his being; although he’s a tall man with a strong body, his heart is still soft and as delicate as glass. he hates that a simple disagreement of opinions causes a division with you, the person he loves the most, respects, and for whom he would give his life.

but he knows how to suppress his discontent very well in the face of absurd discussions for which you don’t speak to each other for hours, and even absurder when it’s that time of the month for you. he knows how much your feelings are weakened, how sore you feel throughout that week, in which your need for attention and affection doubles up.

san remembers with affection and laughs that month in which he found you crying in your bed, wrapped in his blankets scented with his essence, because the stuffed animal that you had given him, shiber, had fallen off the bed and, he quotes, “he looked at me very sadly from the ground” and he felt his heart skip a few beats inside his ribcage when a pout formed on your lips at how funny he found the situation. you never seemed so cute to him as you did at that moment.

and the moment san hears your voice whine his name from his room, the mental image was projected in his head without him asking for it or thinking deeply: “you, covered in dark blankets up to your nose with an exaggerated amount of pillows giving you comfort staring at him with pleading eyes as soon as he entered the room.” he couldn’t help but smile fondly.

“coming, love” he says, a few steps away from the room. thanks to his long legs, with four steps he gets there immediately, gently and respectfully hitting his knuckles against the dark oak door. the muffled ‘come innn’ you say with little strength was the permission he needed to turn the handle.

a sweet hum coming from san echoes through the room as he finds you under the exact same conditions that his mind, infected with you, had outlined. he doesn’t wait for you to say another word and he sits on the edge of the bed, watching you with so much love that he could never express verbally.

“how are you feeling?” he simply asks, without being so insistent or trying to bombard you with questions, thus avoiding causing you any annoyance. you have enough of what you were dealing with now.

“awful. the pressure down there has become unbearable, and now i don’t feel my legs.” you stopped for a moment to analyze your reality and the poor physical condition you were in. “i feel dizzy, kind of hungry and numb. but not like emotionally numb, because i wanna cry so badly but i can’t get anything out of my eyes.”

your hands go up to your eyes, under the sheets, covering them in frustration. “fuck, i hate this so much.”

san finally starts talking, soothing you with his honey-dripping voice. “shh, princess. one breath at a time. come on” he brings his palms, which were facing the ceiling, and rests them on your stomach, implicitly indicating that you hold his hands.

breath in and out, in and out. you stay like that for about thirty seconds, maintaining eye contact, his eyes conveying nothing but love and comfort to you. “thaat’s it. perfect.” he praises you, giving you the purest smile known to men, which does nothing but wrinkle your heart a little with tenderness.

“do you still have enough sanitary napkins and tampons?”

you appreciate and appreciated, from the first beginning, in which san became excellently familiar with all the technical vocabulary characteristic of this week that was so painful for both you and san. “no, but-”

he interrupts you and asks again “you want me to go get you some more in the supermarket? maybe some chocolate as well?” it seemed so sweet to you how generous and helpful he was to you when this time of the month came around.

“not really.” you pause briefly, squinting your eyes in search of the perfect plan that would calm, at least for a few hours, your impressive menstrual pain. until the right idea hits your head. “honestly, i just wanna cuddle here, with you.”

another sugary hum is audible. “if that’s what my princess wants, then that’s what she gets.” he sentences as if he was a soldier of a castle in which you are the queen of the “choi san’s heart” kingdom and san is nothing more than your faithful and most beloved servant. he leans towards you to place a fond kiss on your warm forehead, saturated with pain.

you shift in place, moving to the right so that san joins you from the left. ss soon as both of you are already warmly covered by the sheets, smeared with the smell of floral essences, your hand is quick to locate the remote control, pointing it in front of you to turn on the television and immediately go to the netflix app.

while your fingers insistently press the control buttons in search of a movie that meets the common cinematographic interests of both of you, san’s hand is agile in sneaking into your shirt —well, san’s— and cupping your waist in his palm, his fingers tracing scribbles on your skin, calming the pain, the tension and your mind. the magic that san has between his fingers and how they affect you is a divine mystery that would require his own science and study method.

“sannie” you pronounce his name in a faint whisper, disconnecting your eyes from the big screen to focus on the perfect face of your perfect boyfriend, totally forgeting the movie and focusing in his ethereal details.

“yes, darling?” he drones, looking at you adoringly. he truly couldn’t believe how you, an angel fallen from heaven, could be his and only his. and that you decide to stay by his side until the end of your days was the most genuine and beautiful demonstration that any lover has ever given him. definitely, you are different and san would risk it all for you. of course he would.

“thanks for everything. for understanding me and being able to be that mountain on which i can rest when i’m exhausted.” you say, truly meaning every single one of your words. “thank you for being you and for choosing me.”

san’s heart is reciting all the existing love songs to yours. his heart is yours and yours alone, giving itself fully to your love, and yours is the sun that warms his soul, casting golden rays of affection that dance across the canvas of his heart, painting it in hues of devotion.

“no, princess, you have nothing to thank me for.” he stops for a moment. “i’m the one who should thank you; for allowing me to be your boyfriend and please you, for being so patient with me. i know that i’m not an easy person to understand, and the fact that you voluntarily decide to stay here with me only makes me fall in love with you even more; even when i think i can’t love you more than i already do.” san confesses and, in just a matter of seconds, he manages to observe in close-up how in your precious irises tears start to well up in your eyes, causing him to let out a soft giggle, finding it cute. “why are you crying, sweetheart?”

you sniffed. “because you’re just too sweet to me and it makes me emotional. you really are the best boyfriend in the world, choi san.”

“oh baby.” he hugged your anatomy between his strong arms as he laughed softly, giving you a warmth and security unique in the world. “i love you, yn. “so much.”

| masterlist

[ziipzeepzop-eez]

hi! me again, i know it hasn’t been that long but i just rewatched one of my favorite anime’s, Komi can’t communicate, it’s about a girl named Shoko Komi who has extreme social anxiety or also known as social-phobia and has trouble speaking to others and making friends as well, i’m serious, anytime the girl tries to speak, she gets nervous and overwhelmed and just starts stuttering a LOT!

So! i was wondering if you could do lil something with the rottmnt boys and a reader who acts like that? you don’t have to! and don’t worry, i’m almost finished with the lil gecko’s design!

i also recommend watching the anime, it’s really good and funny!

have a nice day/night! ❤️

❝ dulcet vibes. ❞

— ‧₊˚ 🎐✩ 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐱 𝐤𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐞𝐬𝐤!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

❝l a/n !! : bro how many coincidences will we encounter ? I LITERALLY ADORE THAT ANIME SO SO MUCHHH AAAAA !!!! i binged the entire series over the course of time and finished it during the summertime last year ! such a wonderful anime. the slice of life feel to it, the equal parts humor and heartfelt, and not to mention the characters are all absolutely adorable and lovable !! especially komi. bro she's such a sweet cinnamon roll i just :(( my baby gorla :((( entire show is just *chef's kiss*

also darling this is like. YEARS late i hope u don't think i forgot abt you ?!!!! thank you soso much for your patience + i really hope you like this waaa !! also, psst. this is probably one of my favorite layouts~ the colors came together soso pretty !! ^^

ᝰ genre !! : fluff, a bit of crack, slice of life, platonic :)

ᝰ precautions !! : none, I don't think 🫡 if I am wrong however, pls pls let me know!! *smek* love y'all. hope you enjoy~

i imagine the gentleness is which they all unanimously develop when interacting with you, developed on day one of meeting you.

they're all quite protective over you !! that much goes without saying, of course.

it started out with you becoming a close friend of april's :'))

seeing as she was the first to understand that you weren't some unreachable individual w/ some uppity "holier-than-thou" complex,

but rather, a kid. just like the rest of them. :')

she recognizes her peoplez. 😤✊🏾 probably finds a kindred spirit in you for feeling a bit like an outcast.

whereas you garner attention for your stoic, quiet demeanor and mysterious beauty, that's usually all people see you as.

some don't even see you as much of a fellow person at all. based on your aura alone — you've been described as an equal mix of cold, stuck up, unreachable, boring or flat out rude . . . as well as absolutely stunning, dark, debonair, sleek, attractive, godlike even.

whatever the case, you garnered the attention of all kinds wherever you went, whether you liked it or not.

they just ain't know you, babes. 😞

and april is all too familiar with being simultaneously judged (solely based on appearances) and ignored or pushed aside because you're different.

and homegirl don't run that way 🫡. she a real one.

i imagine she took/takes on the role of being your tadano at first !!

she was chosen as your guide to show ya around the school and upon seeing y'all's chemistry build instantly throughout said tour, you both were paired up for a project in your shared classes! ^^

at first she was a little off-put by your silence and sharp gaze, and even more so at the loud attention you were given the instant you were introduced into the classroom, but a little time is all it took :)

it quickly became apparent that that simply wasn't the case.

you had pulled out your phone, showed her a message typed out in a cinnamoroll-themed digital notepad,

" thank you for your help :')) i'm sorry i don't talk a lot! i'm just shy. thank you for being so kind to me. 💛🙏 "

yeeeaaah she knew you were a good egg.

and the rest is history!

LEO gives me madddd najimi vibes, i'm gonna be so fr. so let's imagine that dynamic here !! as soon as y'all met, there was probably a little miscommunications at first :'] ofc april had told the guys beforehand that she was bringing you over, and he was positively stoked at finally being able to meet this "new friend" his best gal had been talking so fondly about !! and yes, she had given them all the rundown (but him especially. he was sweat-dropping at all the enunciations in her spiel being directed so openly at him. he ain't even met you yet 😔 why is everyone bullying him he is not that bad please he just wants a new friend this isn't fair ple- #justiceforleofr ✊🏾) but with leo, there's always something happening. (/aff /lh)

y'all know ts that najimi stayed pulling in the show? giving komi these complicated orders to go collect on her own in efforts to help her overcome her social anxiety? THIS HAS LEO WRITTEN ALL OVER ITTTTTTT. he'd definitely verbally note down the most diabolical pizza order and only gives enough time to make sure you even heard it before he's shoving the phone in your hands.

now if you start shaking and hesitate, he'll wait until like the very last second before he's chuckling and looking at you with gentle eyes. he takes the phone back into his hands, confirms the order, then pats your head. he's proud of you for trying!!

(he promptly dissolves into good-natured laughter when you start cuffing at his arm, face as red as a tomato.)

tbh thinks you're a cutie pie and tho he teases you, it's all in good nature !! let someone else try to come at you for your shyness. big "only I'm allowed to tease them" energy from this blueberry.

you know leo as your charming and obnoxious but fun-loving best friend who always smiles and jokes around you. but he can be brutal when he's upset. it's like a complete 360 when he's coming to your defense; his gaze turns hard and all traces of his bubbly self. GONE.

fiercely protective over you. whenever you're with him (or any of them really) he's your protector. and you can count on him to celebrate like it's the 4th of July whenever you manage to overcome your verbal barriers.

RAPH. our red angel of preventing harm. the backbone of our society. he is such a mother hen when it comes to you awww :(( when y'all first met & you responded to his amicable greeting by beginning to tremble and stare up at him with wide, shiny eyes, not a word of reply, he thought it was most obvious that you were scared of him. of them. ☹️

it made his heart ache but it was a familiar hurt. this may be New York, but this whole situation isn't the exact norm. (well, not yet anyway!)

then april went and pushed you forward-- closer to him, enthusiastically encouraging you to "go on, say hi!!" like some excited mom with her shy kid 😭😭. it was a few moments of tense silence, you could literally see the ". . ." in the background. then finally, in a hushed but determined whisper, you respond in kind.

yeah. he's hooked.

you bring a sense of stability and tranquility; a welcome pace to the constant chaos of his everyday normal. he's so used to all things loud and rambunctious and completely fizzy pop frenzied on a great day, that when your sweet little molasses self shows up and becomes a regular part of their everyday lives, he finds a haven that he didn't even know he wanted. much more needed.

raphie carries you in his arms to make a quick getaway? you force urge him silently to rest his head on your lap/tummy when y'all chill in peace.

he's effectively babying you? you take it with a stoic grace and appease his ruffled mother hen feathers with gentle sympathy pats to his arms when he finally relaxes.

he especially loves when you both go on little best friend dates !!

you have a tranquil, 'insider' type outlook on life so when you share your vision with them, he can't help but feel honored. being who you are in the modern world has left you with devices that conspire of the affinity to finding very cool hideaway spots!! & the more time you guys spend with each other, the closer you get. it develops into a very wholesome and loving friendship :(( ICONS, THE BOTH OF YOUSE. 🫶🏾

he loves you sm bcuz he feels like he can truly be himself - you're not the type to judge. he feels completely at ease with you and goes the extra mile to put you at ease too!!

—and you can bet he's allllways keeping leo in line as well 😭☠ like, bro can barely breathe. he can, has, and will tackle leo in mid-air because he went to tackle you in a running hug. 😪

blue bro means well when he plays around with you, but raph can only take so much before he gets tense 🥹 he just wants you to be comfortable!! :(( like, always.

he's like your teddy bear. a safety blanket. teddy blanket?? mm ^^ he's got it all for you. would bend over backwards at so much as a slight breath from you. completely whipped and unashamed of it.

DONNIE understands you on a spiritual level. he's your twin flame. your soul brother. bro's your down b, bro's your solider, he's got that thang-thang— *loud 16-wheeler horn passes by*

no but let's lock in. donbon becomes your saving grace, whether you like it or not (but i mean c'mon, who wouldn't like it? :] bro is him.) out of all the siblings, donnie understands your apprehension to socializing the best. it's not that you don't want to interact with others, it's just . . . hard. and scary. he gets that too.

donnie himself is sociable in the way that he's not afraid to interact with others nor is he scared to; he's just an introvert and if the feeling doesn't strike him, he won't. simple as that. 😆

but you're a bit of a different story. it's not that you don't want to, it's just significantly difficult for you </3. and donnie is nothing if not persistent and a fix-it felix in his own right, so! 👏 what does he do?? what he does best, of course!! he builds. he invents. he creates.

he would absolutely create different gadgets and such to try and make things easier for you. they can range from tiny things — automatic digital/magnetized notepads, tiny flying robots that have neurotransmitters embedded within so it speaks for you in the moments your voice croaks, to literal AI robots that do close to everything for you.

once he had gotten caught up in the excitement and pure influx of creative juices + had drawn up a prototype for a replicate robot of you — purely intended on doing the things that you couldn't in a way of helping out!! — and barely survived the crossfire that he was immediately subjected to by his siblings. he snapped out of it and locked tf in after that and, after a lengthy lecture from raph, he allowed leo to rip the blueprints to shreds & mikey to burn it. yes, he might've gotten carried away in his inventions, but it's all from a place of care!!!

he buys you snacks and gifts you a cute handmade keychain the next time you come over after that. you're confused but delighted. he sticks just a little closer that day, and you allow it.

i feel he'd see himself in you. as a result, he'd want to provide you with more things and protect you a lot!!! he ain't afraid to speak up on your behalf either. trust me, he's given such poetic lip to some stuck up assholes in the social world that it rendered you genuinely speechless. but they stay as inside jokes between y'all and best believe it makes the others so jealous 🤣😭.

also not afraid to tell his own brothers off if they're crowding you a little too much (*coughleocoughcough*) — he's a lot less lenient than raphie tho 😅

he cares. a lot. maybe. he's got a soft spot for you, what can I say?

when everything and anything starts to become too much for you, he's usually pretty good at recognizing it and offers you a place of solitude in his lab! it's cool and quiet (well. quiet-er than the wipeout episode that is his daily life outside those very walls.) and generally gives a very chill vibe.

he also loves the fact that you listen to his ranting and rambling without interrupting, not even once. sometimes he thinks it's because you can't, but when he pauses and goes to inquire as much, he's met with your warmed and focused gaze, a slight quirk to your lips as you nod along and. the message is there. i'm listening.

you're lowk his bestie and he can't really live without you from now on, he thinks. it's like the grumpy cat x golden retriever trope, but you're more of a cat too. two moons coexisting! two cats drenched in purple moonlight.

y'all just get each other i made myself sad. /lh + /hj

MIKEY aims to make you feel as comfortable and welcomed as possible !! at all times, all day, everyday. he even set up a cute little personal nook for you in the lair!! (he's such a sweetie pie y'all i'm 💔)

he was the most excited to meet you!!!! (you're his friend now. y'all are having soft tacos later!)

well, all of them were, but he was (and is) the most amicable and the most emotionally adept at understanding you and your shyness. apart of the "Save Y/N from Leo & His Shenanigans" pt 2. (i love the blueberry y'all i prommy bullying him is my love language). ofc he's just a bubbly glass of fizzy orange juice when y'all come face to face; he's all smiles and going "hi!! I'm Mikey!! what's your name??" even if april alr told them 🤦🏾‍♀️ HE'S JUST EXCITED OKAY???

hesitates for just shy of a second when you begin shaking, but then, you pull out your phone and shove the cute sanrio-themed greeting note in his snout and, the second it registers, he's beaming brighter than the sun and immediately welcomes you in, both physically and emotionally.

he makes you feel seen and heard, even when you try to chameleon your way through situations, as you've done countless times before. even when you assume your "better to be seen, not heard" posture, as you've done countless times before.

mikey being the most emotionally available of his family certainly comes with its perks!! he helps them navigate their individual friendships with you as well, and even tho there are a few hiccups along the way, you all develop a strong and lovely bond— & a large part in that is owed to mikey and his empathetic prowess.

particularly loves baking for/with you!!! it's always worth it to see your eyes light up, and he really does think you have a cute face. it's been described in a more debonair light by others, but to him, you're the sweetest little baozi and he just wants!!! to wrap you up in a blanket burrito and!!! keep you in his metaphorical pockets forever!!!!!!

he has definitely dedicated murals and different art pieces to you. sometimes you'll be minding your own business, just chilling together, and feel him staring at you. but before you can get self-conscious he always speaks up and sheepishly rubs the back of his head while pointing to the sketchbook in his lap. now, you're used to feeling his warm yet concentrated gaze on you, but your face still hasn't changed in the lobster red it becomes when he shows you the finished product :')) what can he say?? you're a one of a kind muse.

gives you cute nicknames. pinches your cheeks (if you're aiight with that.) soso affectionate with you, the fact that he loves you is unshakable and unquestionable.

[norman-fucking-reedus]

So it’s international women’s day and I was talking to one of my mutuals abt how Daryl would like worship you 🎀

I noticed that as the show went on Daryl’s respect and appreciation for women seemed to grow. I also feel like his mother could’ve been a victim of abuse, and so when he yells at any woman he starts thinking of his dad

I just think Daryl having his own person to unconditionally love and cherish would re-wire his brain in the best way possible

Idk what happened but I do not have a foot kink guys like feet actually scare me when I write I just make it all up as I go

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Daryl has never considered himself a religious man, but oh for you, he’d make a whole new religion.

Growing up Daryl was never allowed to have much of his own stuff, whatever little he did have he held onto and cherished with all his damaged heart. He loved these things dearly, and would fight like hell to get them back, but he’s never down right worshipped something, nor someone.

His parents claimed to be christians, yet they just made themselves look like hypocrites as they preached sins from the bible that they commit every hour of the day. Daryl believed that if there really was a God, he wouldn’t toss kids to people who didn’t deserve to have them, let alone help the people that needed help, like when his mom was burning to death in the house.

He didn’t believe in a God, no, not until he got to taste you for the first time.

You, Daryl loved you. From the tips of your very toes up to your hair, there wasn’t a single inch of your body that Dixon didn’t appreciate.

He takes his sweet, sweet time undressing you, carefully peeling your shirt off and running his blistering hands across the smooth skin of your stomach. Daryl dips his head down to kiss you, slow with lots of tongue.

Daryl’s hands move down your sides, hooking onto the waistband of your pants and pulling them down. He stared at you in muted awe as you stepped out them and stood in just your bra and panties, twirling hair around your finger.

You watched as he lowered himself down, not just onto his knees but down to the floor, his lips brushing over the skin of your feet. A shiver ran down your spine at the sight of Daryl bowing before you, peppering kisses along the skin of your ankles while slowly climbing his way up the skin of your calf, relishing in the ticklish sensation of your leg hair.

You were pure, sheer natural beauty, Daryl dared to say that Aphrodite herself could not compare.

He traced every scar with his lips, and touched every birthmark with the tip of his tongue, his hands stroking the skin of your legs as he worked his way up past your knee, to your thigh, squeezing and sucking on the plumpness. His fingers trailed over the bump dips of your stretch marks, traveling across your hips and stopping mere inches from your stomach.

Daryl knew that you were a little insecure about the markings, however, he had a deep admiration for the discolored lines etched into your skin, dragging his lips across them and feeling them underneath.

He made it his life goal to make you feel like the most gorgeous woman in the world because in his eyes you were the only woman in the world.

Daryl placed eager kisses over your clothed hip bones, running his tongue over your V-line before burying his nose in the growing wet spot of your panties, inhaling the addictive smell of your cunt. He stared at you with a needy, half-lidded gaze, licking his lips as you fisted the hair behind his ear, teasing the hem of your panties right in front of him.

His eyes never left your movements for a second as you slowly slid the thin fabric down, Daryl watching the way they slipped down your thighs and pooled down around your feet, eyes flickering back up to your pretty pussy. He watched as you spread your lips with your fingers, running your fingers down your folds and bringing your glistening digits to Daryl's lips, so casually offering him a slice of heaven.

You felt Daryl's groan vibrate through your fingers as he quickly wrapped his lips around them, swirling his tongue and sucking your slick. His cock pulsated in his pants, arousal burning hot in his belly as he taste you, wanting to taste you directly from the source.

As you pulled your soaked fingers from his lips, coating them in his own spit as you did, you adjusted your stance to stand with your legs further apart, lifting your leg slightly to step on Daryl's cock, a guttural moan coming from him as he thanked the stars above him for whatever he did in order to belong to you.

When you tugged Daryl's head forward by his hair, dragging your messy cunt across his chin and over his tongue, he jerked his hips up and down right whimpered when he ground into the pad of your foot. Every light sound he made, he made right into your slick folds, desperately lapping up your juices on his tongue. One hand held onto your thigh, and the other stayed wrapped around your ankle.

Daryl ran his tongue from your tight entrance, up to your sensitive clit, rubbing it with a few hard licks before darting back down your slit, this time slipping the wet muscle inside your soft walls. You moaned at the sudden intrusion, applying more pressure with your foot that had the man seeing stars underneath you. Daryl held your foot down, curling his tongue as he thrusted it in and out.

You had a tight grip on Daryl’s hair, tugging at his brown locks as he worked you open, pushing your closer and closer to the edge. He was such a monster when it came down to his mouth, knowing exactly just how and where he needed to use it.

He dragged his tongue back over to your clit, making quick work of filling you with his fingers. You groaned at the feeling of his thick digits, scissoring and stretching you further open. He stimulated a sensitive nerve near you clit as his fingers curled in your sweet spot, a high gasp coming from you as your hands tightened in Daryl’s hair.

You pulled his head back, clenching around his fingers when the cool air hit your puffy clit. Daryl panted softly underneath you, staring up at you witth hearts in his eyes as his swollen, red bottom lip got caught between his teeth. His hips rolled up into your foot, whimpering quietly.

“I love you” He choked out, hand gripping your thigh as the other continued to curl his fingers.

You brushed his cheek again, staring down with a pleased looked and smile. “I love you too, Dixon. Now come up here and stuff me”

Daryl grunted, sliding his fingers out of you and immediately bringing them up to his mouth, sucking you clean off.

He rose to his feet, wiping his fingers dry before circling around your back to unclasp your bra, throwing himself into one of your deep kisses as the garment fell down your arms to join your discarded underwear on the floor. Daryl ran his hands over the soft and squishy skin of your tits, groping them under calloused palms.

You directed him to walk backwards, taking careful steps towards the bed as his lips refused to leave yours, the lingering taste of yourself in his mouth as you explored it with your tongue.

Daryl’s knees hit the mattress and he sat down, leaning back a little to give you more space as you straddled him in all your nude glory. Your dripping cunt pressed against his bulge, and he could feel your warmth wetness behind the fabric. The groan that escaped his lips was quickly captured in another one of your dangerous kisses, Daryl’s head already starting to become full of haze.

“Your body belongs to me, right?” You slid a hand between the two of you, fingers dancing over his jeans as they unbuttoned them.

Daryl hummed, eyes fixated on you as you freed his cock. “Yes ma’am”

You smiled softly, dropping down for yet another mind fogging kiss, lining Daryl’s tip up with your entrance and sliding down slowly. He groaned into your mouth and the sensation of being wrapped up in your tight heat, cock twitching were it rested snuggly inside you.

When you started to bounce your hips, milking the length of his cock with each wet slide of your cunt around him. He wanted to snap his hips into you, fuck you hard and make you feel so, so good. But instead, he stayed right was he was, eyes rapidly flickering from watching where he was slipping in and out of you, to your pleasured face, lip caught between your teeth as your gaze met Daryl’s.

“I love you” He said once again, whispering it into the steamy space between the two of you. You curled your fingers into his scalp, tugging the brown hair as you locked onto his lips for another one of those fucking kisses. “I love you too”

And oh, how that’s all he ever needs to hear.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,��･:*:･ﾟ☆

Daryl not being able to process the fact that someone as breathtaking as you would want to date someone like him and he’s just so sickeningly in love that obviously his only option is to just straight worship the ground you walks on, like you’re a blessing sent directly from heaven itself and Daryl Dixon will be damned to let something as enchanting as you go to waste

He is stone cold LOVER BOY 😾

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

[blazeymc]

A lot of people have been talking abt Arin in DR S2P2 and I guess I'll give my defence of this adorable lil bean

Spoilers ahead, though you probably already know that

Many people have been calling Arin selfish in DR. This whole thing is going on where the world is basically being sliced and diced and stitched back together, and it seems that all Arin cares about is his parents. And guess what? That's perfectly valid.

I don't know about you, but I have a loving relationship with my parents. If the Merge were to happen in real life, of course I'd be worried about them. Arin loves his parents, so is it such a big surprise that he'd be worried?

And yes, he may be being unfair to Lloyd and the other Ninja. But for several months now, his parents have been missing. Lloyd keeps promising that they'll find them, but nothing happens. Arin is getting nowhere when it comes to his parents because the world keeps getting in trouble. And yeah, to be fair, the world comes before one kid's parents. But they were everything to Arin! The two most important things in Arin's life pre-Merge were his obsession with the Ninja and his parents.

Speaking of his obsession with the Ninja, yeah. They were his heroes. He looked up to them so much when he was younger, and still does. It probably isn't helping that one of them is evil now. And then there's the news that the mentor of his heroes caused the Merge. Let me talk about Ras for a second.

Arin has that scene where Ras tells him stuff. First, Ras says that Sora lied and that Arin's object spinjitzu in the P1 finale wasn't him, but Sora using her powers. He tells Arin that Wu caused the Merge. And he says that he knows where Arin's parents are. Yes, this all seems like a bunch of lies, but then he questions Sora.

Sora says yes, she lied. But only because they couldn't afford to lose Nya to Netherspace like they lost Kai. And this hurt. The person that Arin's been friends with for years lied to him because she didn't think that he could do something on his own and that he needed help. She didn't trust him. She didn't believe in him. And that hurt.

It feels like no one cares about Arin. They care about saving the world, not about his parents. They care about guaranteeing success, not about letting him prove himself. And yeah, it's fair to care about that stuff, but to be on the receiving end of this? That has to freaking hurt.

Then Ras comes in. First, he promises that he knows where Arin's parents are. That information is invaluable to Arin. He'd do anything to find out what exactly Ras knows. And then there's the issue with spinjitzu.

Arin has his wonky, homemade spinjitzu that doesn't work like the others. Lloyd is trying to help him get better, but just like with his parents, he's getting nowhere. Then Frak comes along. Arin's best friend from before the Merge, who helped him when he was in trouble. Frak is on Ras' team and shows Arin what Ras has been showing him. With Frak's help, Arin manages to do actual spinjitzu, although this first time he does it, there's a bit of those red shatterspin effects, which is kinda interesting.

Something else that I think is super interesting here is that before training with Frak, Arin was on the fence about whether Ras was actually telling the truth. However, once Ras' teachings actually help him do proper spinjitzu, he seems utterly convinced.

Anyways, Arin's gotten nowhere with Lloyd in terms of progression in his spinjitzu, but one tip from Ras via Frak is enough to bring him a lot farther along than before. This obviously gives Arin more confidence in Ras than in Lloyd and the Ninja.

Ultimately, this results in Arin actually caring a lot to make sure that Ras is not brought to harm in the final battle against Nokt, and he follows his only lead on his parents through a collapsing passage. He no longer cares about the Ninja and only for his parents and a master who it seems actually cares about his wants and needs and is willing to help him. And yeah, Ras is manipulating him, but Arin is in a state where he probably doesn't care. He no longer has the time to care about the world, because, with Ras, he is closer to finding his parents than he ever was before. And if that means leaving behind a friend who lied to him and a group directly related to the catalyst for his parents being lost in the first place, then so be it.

He's gone through so much, and is now looking out for his own needs when no one else is. And that's what makes him such an amazing character. That's what makes his arc such an amazing arc. He hasn't done much when it comes to saving the world anyways, it's always been Sora or the Ninja. They don't even need his help, so he may as well break off and do his own thing.

I love Arin and I will defend him with my life if necessary.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[hualianschild]

Genuine question. I loved many elements of the apothecary diaries, the mystery, the unsexualised main lead and the slice-of-lifey vibe to it and just about everything else also ticks all things I love about stories in media. The problem is there is ginormous off-putting almost triggering thing in it. The setting and how it displays women.

Does the setting of apothecary diaries not upset any others girl watcher’s stomach? If you want a detailed ask i can send one :(

I geniunly mean no harm, but I saw anime feminists say it’s one of the best piece of media that navigates womens struggles and I’m so flabbergasted.

hello thanks for the ask and yes you can send me a detailed ask I don't mind ^^

so the thing about the apothecary diaries is that it's based on ancient historical china and and as with any historical based media ofcourse there will be lots of misogyny and homophobia and every bad old thinking thing you can think of, as someone who watches lots of historical fantasy related things, things like these are a common occurrence atp and I'm so used to it that I'll be surprised if a piece of historical media is non toxic and full of positive vibes. In the apothecary diaries there's this system of the emperor keeping concubines in a separate palace and all they're useful for is to provide heirs and I'm like yeah it was the usual scene back in the day (there's just this ONE ruler in china who kept just one partner his entire life and he's famous for that if I remember correctly) and I can't do anything abt it now cuz that system has long been abandoned now as with the slavery system too

I think the anime feminists saying it's a good depiction of women struggles aren't wrong as maomao who's seen as the daughter of a commoner somehow got sold as a servant and is bound by a contract and everyone suffers in a slavery system and adding the fact that people try to disregard her advice cuz she's a woman and a teenager and a slave at that really reflects back to what usually happens to women in modern times too but even after that she has a friend who she talks with abt their struggles of being a servant and that she's still enthusiastic about poisons and herbs and everything related to apothecary and doesn't let those people from stopping her in persuing her interests whenever she can while still trying to save her life (servants meant nothing to the ruling class so they can be easily k worded off) just makes me so happy, she's now thriving cuz everyone knows how talented she is and very clever to the point they go to her to ask for suggestions and advice about their problems and trust her to help cure their problems is a good representation of how people let their internal misogyny stop them from seeing what's actually there

so yeah these were my thoughts I know some might disagree here and there but feel free to point out if there's a flaw or something here hope this helps ~

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

CKB hear me out. Haters will say it's fake but ....... blanche youngest child. The Victorian maid garb? He's tired of being in the shadows of those before him and is trying to set his own identity. Extreme violence? A big ol temper tantrum and cry for attention. I dare say i would lean on him being youngest child just because Lev fits the disaster middle child ALL too well 😮‍💨.

I see why some will say Lev as the youngest but i feel like he's suuuuch a middle kid like, even if he's stupid, he'd having a good time and that's all he cares about. I feel like youngests are actually more deceitful and tricky wheras middle kids are pretty true to themselves and more easygoing? Like them youngest kids are used to sneaking around and just so cunning, showing different faces (not unlike blanche who does a 180)

Like blanche, yves can also fit all 3 perfectly. He does kinda seem like the overstressed, overworked, will nag out of love, can never relax, will shoulder responsibility for you eldest child (i feel like eldest children also have a really clean aesthetic? Middle kids are either cozy wear or pop the Fuck off. And youngest kids are always flashy but in their own way and my god if that isnt blanche 💀)

Also i feel like eldest kids (yves) have a great fear or failure and losing things so theyre lowkey control freaks. Youngest kids (blanche) are oddly possessive and entitled like they think the last slice of pizza is their god given right. And middle kids (lev) are so used to losing things that they get obsessive over the things they do have, and a bit pathetic abt it if they feel it slipping away.

Youngest kid blanch really does seem like a big brat (but who cares) to me. Like he sees reader as his dead pet hamster that he accidentally squeezed to death trying to hug it but he refuses to believe it's dead so he keeps leaving food out for it and stroking it. Middle kid Lev sees you as a cute hamster and buys you cool wheels and a rolling ball and toys and sleeps with you in his bed. Eldest Yves will not allow anything to happen to pet hamster so he has a seperate temperature controlled room for it, homemade pellets, probably wipes hammies ass after it poops and everything.

This was just my random musing though and im excited to see what you end up making the order!!

Also i think i was ur 🐰 anon and i used to send in all those theories for language barrier LOL. Ummmmm the bunny thing *totally* didn't have to do with Lev, so, uh, don't tell Blanche, my latest hyperfixation 🤭 (or Cyprus because goddamn-)

🐰 anon

🐰 anon also said: Oh! Also feel like blanche would be a lot younger than the other two. Like modern au or whatever if they were all together, yves moved out when blanche was a kid (because he was independent) lev was never home bc he was always out and just kinda ended up living w one of his friends (never 'officially' moved out but he's living elsewhere) and followed the party life, and blanche was probably raised and spoiled by a family elder, making him feel like an 'old soul born in the wrong generation'. But hold onnn i didnt know therewas a blanche pt 2, lemme go read that and see if it changes things LOL 🐰 anon

🐰 anon also said: no blanche is actually so middle/youngest child coded it's insane bc i refuse to let go of middle child lev (actually i need to give bunny a reread before that too, and ofc more content on him when it comes out lol) but brooooo them youngest kids be weird as FUCK like, smth abt blanche feels like he's playing dressup, pretending and trying so hard to be this old fashioned adult gentleman, meanwhile yves actually is more calculated, composed and knows what to do for his shit. I actually initially thought of yves being the youngest but i feel like blanche being youngest fits so much better imo. Like blanche is just here to do his own shit, he's a bit selfish, and pushes for hinself. Yves puts his responsibility first and pushes for reader. Plus yves has that blonde mom in target drinking a coffee doing 3 hours of shopping in 12 minutes before her next hot yoga class and thats soooo eldest child coded. Idk something abt blanche as a person (not a character) seems so underdeveloped and child like in a disturbing yet innocent way? 🐰 anon

🐰 anon also said: "unromancable, unfuckable weirdo." No im sorry Blanche is actually the youngest child Bunny anon

Holy fuckin shit bunny anon always comign in with a banger , yess that's what im talking about them tasty brain chews i like i like

shid man like u really lay out their vibes and everything and even imagined them in modern AUs , presented evidence and cited your source like what the fuck this is such a good analysis like damn bro i fr appreciate the enthusiasm

Like all the stuff you sair fr made sense even to someone who has no siblings, its as if i had those little shits living in the same house as me and i observed the dynamic, like yeah damn Yves really fit the oldest child

Its really fitting cause if you think about it, they're all like centuries old or whatever and both Yves and Leveret are pretty youthful looking with no grey hairs- they went on their own quests to preserve their looks, Whereas Blanche is considered to be the most unkempt out of the three with his salt and pepper hair growing uncontrollably to the back of his knees, no manicures just natural long nails but he's still considered youthful cause ykno 50 year old looking man vs his actual 5 million year old age , but it just shows that he doesn't care about looking youthful as much as his older brothers

i notice the older siblings from other relatives and friends they tend to looksmaxx more than the younger ones. and they try to keep up trends, like Yves and Leveret is pretty modern whereas Blanche is fuckin ancient with his stuff, mannerisms and dressing up

and yes he is ironically the most immature (as in childlike) of them all, even tho leveret is like spontaneous and has his slipups, but damn bunny anon like ur analysis is always bangers like what the hell bro i love them and i love you

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

hey sorry if this is a weird question but you’re the same person who wrote that really incredible Better Jeremy post-canon fic right? Sorry I’ve never met anyone that matches my enthusiasm for the Better Jeremy ending and how much it hurts my soul, I was wondering if you had any further headcanons about that ending? how ‘far-gone’ is Jeremy do you think?

HIII HI YES THATS ME THATS MEEEEE. I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THAT ENDING I HAVE SOOO MUCH FUN WITH IT AND I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE FIC ABOUT IT. the SECOND i learned it was an ending that exists i went looking for content abt it and i was SO upset i couldn't find any. so i'm glad my strategy to corner the market was successful.

i will take ANY excuse to go into detail surrounding some of my HCs about this ending so here we go. obviously NFB spoilers ahead. YAY!!!

i'm honestly just going to commandeer this ask to talk abt stuff regarding betterment jeremy that i either kept in mind while i was writing the fic, couldn't find time/space to squeeze into the fic, or stuff that i never intended on actually writing down but were fun to think about.

in regards to your actual question, how far gone jeremy really is: honestly. i think he's kind of in an irreversible state. but that's how trauma works, isn't it. stuff happens to you, and even if you can get 'better'- whatever better means for you in that context- you'll never truly be the same.

that being said though, i do think jeremy could become healthier after a while. but it would be a long, long while, and i do honestly think jenny is the only person who could get him there. she knows him better than anyone else- she can read his tells like an open book- she knows what part of him is the genuine him. regardless of whether that part of him is alive or dead, if anyone could coax it out of him, it would probably be her...

i don't think i have to say that jeremy has been through some horrible stuff at betterment. even before he gets taken away again in the finale, it's written all over his facial expressions, his body language, his behaviors. the second betterment is even mentioned, he's turning to his friends, staring pleadingly into his eyes, telling them that he can't go back. instinctively, they put comforting hands on him- pat him and reassure him that they won't let that happen...

even at that point in the game, he's already traumatized. by the time the CCOs arrive to take him away, he's putting his hands in the air, reproaching, physically and vocally surrendering, not even struggling as they shove him to the floor and bust his nose in. all he does is cough and whimper. certainly, his fear of guns is at fault for some of this behavior, but he's had moments in front of guns during heatwave, and he was never this passive and helpless.

i also think it's important to note the sorts of CCOs that come to arrest jeremy during the finale. they're crisis response units. frequently dispatched to handle matters surrounding an individual's mental health. and while it could just be a narrative choice, meant to contrast with advance's seeming goodness with it's forceful reality, i do think there's also a very likely chance that advance/julia selected this team on purpose.

jeremy donaldson is not above taking his own life. we all know this. we've all seen this. jeremy does a very bad job at handling his emotions, and they can quickly boil over to a breaking point where he isn't in the proper state to make good decisions.

lots of people think, in the jeremy's injustice ending, that betterment killed him. and that could very likely be true. but i think there's also room to consider that jeremy was so hopeless, he killed himself. especially since making him hopeless- through allying him with alan james by playing the tape during heatwave- is what you have to do to get him to try to shoot himself in the first place.

regardless of how you slice it, jeremy is in a state of absolute misery during his repeated stays at betterment. and misery breaks that man down into his absolute worst self.

betterment jeremy, to me, lives in a strange state, where he's too scared to want to die, but too miserable to want to live. the less he thinks about his life- about what he had to go through- the more tolerable things are for him. i think he spent a lot of time at betterment completely dissociating, and i think he's very prone to doing it after being released. it's difficult for outsiders to tell he's doing it at all (considering he's kind of... always quietly staring off into space...) but you can normally tell by the way he's breathing. it's a little less labored when he loses himself...

after being released from betterment, jeremy finds himself enjoying 'popcorn fun' a lot more than usual. he doesn't bring himself to read very often- head hurts too much for that, usually. he does whatever's easiest and most distracting, which is usually watching tv, if it isn't losing himself in his thoughts (or lack thereof).

i do think he would enjoy tangible activities though, like cooking. it's not super complex to the point where his mind starts to get cluttered, but it helps him focus in on something in particular, he gets to move around and use his hands, and at the end of it he gets to eat something nice, and that's always good since he forgets to do that sometimes. it's one of his healthier habits post-betterment.

i also think that jeremy has a lot of anxiety surrounding how people perceive him. it seems like he was drilled in one way or another to be as advanced-alligned as possible, which probably involved completely shuffling his world view. i don't have a doubt in my mind that the old jeremy is in there somewhere, raising his cynical arguments in his shrill little voice. but all of that is jumbled, reformatted, or discarded before it reaches his conscious mind.

it's why he pauses for so long between conversations. of course, the medication is partially to blame for that, but most of it is him vetting every single sentence before it leaves his mouth. even if what he's about to say is completely innocuous, he gets paranoid that he'll say something 'wrong', and something bad will happen.

what elsee.... OH WAIT. OKAY. this is kind of unrelated but also related. since we're on the subject of betterment. as someone who perceives jeremy as aroace, i don't really know how betterment would handle that sort of thing. especially considering the current timeline, both in regards to how ace people were perceived at that time in our society, plus the fact that julia is really gunning for people to have kids so that the whole territories don't just go extinct.

a part of me wondered if some of that propaganda had to do with having families. whether betterment would make the argument that "you were so depressed because you're alone. find a partner and have kids, that will make you happier for sure. without them you'll be miserable for the rest of your life". and whether jeremy would believe it- or have any other choice but to believe it.

even if he did believe it, i think it would make him miserable. that man isn't built for sex or romance... no amount of shoving a round peg in a square hole- if you pardon the contextually colorful metaphor- is going to make him any happier, regardless of what advance tells him.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ari, could you potentially give me advice as to what i should watch next? i finished 'jujutsu kaisen' a couple of months ago, but i can't find myself anything to watch...

i tried getting into delicious in dungeon but i didn't really enjoy it all that much and found it to be a little boring... (i watched three episodes.)

i started watching frieren and while it's entertaining and there are aspects that i enjoy, it doesn't grip me as much as 'jujutsu kaisen' did.

on the other hand, i don't want to watch anything that it too dark and distressing, you know?

i was just wondering if you have found something fun since you have finished 'jujutsu kaisen'.

SLAMS FIST ON TABLE.

you have come to the right place :3333

ANON I’M SO HAPPY SOBS!!!!!!! i’ve been wanting to rant about the anime i like/the ones i’ve been watching recently for a while now………….

not liking dungeon meshi is totally fine, i will say that it only gets better the further you get!! :3 if you have the time i’d at least watch the first cour and see what you think!! it does . a bit of a genre swap….. 👀👀 frieren is one i put on hold too, so i can’t say much about that… i’ll probably watch it at some point though. anyway.

OKAY SOOOO . i do have some general recs for you first, before i get to anime that are currently airing/just finished airing!! if you’re looking for something similar to jjk then the obvious answer is chainsaw man, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but it’s my favorite manga next to jjk so. yk!! personally i think it’s better than jjk writing wise but s1 doesn’t get to the Really good parts…..

buuuut i know you didn’t want anything too dark and gritty, which csm most definitely is, so 😭 i’m gonna tell you abt my favorite favorite little anime. kind of. which is fate/stay night: unlimited bladeworks <333 EXTREMELY important that you watch the ufotable version. the fate series is my favorite ever and the anime means so much to me…. lots of good writing and characters and more than anything it’s very hopeful. in a really heartfelt way!!! the heaven’s feel movies are super good but also adapted from the darkest route of the fate visual novel lmao, so maybe… stay away from those. they’re insanely good though!!

another fate work that recently got adapted is fate/strange fake!! :3 only one episode is out rn as a kind of teaser for the series to come, but PLEASE do check it out because it’s… so good. i have a feeling you’ll love it, anon!! fate and jjk are similar in a lot of important ways i think….

i also want to give you some recs if you’re just looking for fluffy slice of life/romcom stuff!!!! romantic killer, gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun, and a sign of affection are all super feel-good and comfy <3333 just really funny and cute…

WITH THAT BEING SAID . i’m gonna recommend some anime that i’m currently watching/just recently finished!!!! i have two in mind :33

first: oshi no ko!!! i’m mentioning this one first since it is… a pretty dark show. not in the same way jjk is, but i’d call it a kind of psychological horror/it deals with some really sensitive topics!! the whole point of the show is to dissect the entertainment industry, including/especially the darker parts, which i think says enough. it’s so much fun to watch and i feel like i learn a lot from it too :3 from what i’ve heard the portrayal is very accurate!! it’s also just… a gorgeous show with such an interesting premise and fun cast?? the first episode is movie length and made me sob like a baby, so i’d watch that one and see how you feel afterwards!! season 2 is currently airing :333

then!!! we have my arguably biggest rec for you anon: wind breaker!! it just recently finished at 13 episodes, and it’s a very action heavy shounen :3 super cool fight scenes, GREAT characters, and really lovely writing but in a way that’s easy to digest. this is the perfect anime for binging i think, and also really pulled me in (though eps 7-9 are my absolute favorites!!) <333 if you’re looking for something to feed your shounen brain with characters you can latch onto for comfort, wind breaker is your guy. i am in Love with togame jo.

………. also. anon. you asked for anime specifically but i want nothing but the best for you so 😔 i’m also gonna go ahead and recommend this…… interactive murder mystery music series? on youtube. it’s… basically anime!! just mostly mvs and audio dramas….. i’ll link the playlist so you can watch it in order, the first video will hopefully explain everything you need to know :33 milgram means . the universe to me and the characters/song are soso lovely. please tell me if you watch this one i would literally kill to have someone to talk about it with…..

ANYWAYYYY this got very long but i hope that’s okay!!!! more than anything i hope this helps you find your way to a new obsession 🫂🫂 all these anime are super good and precious to me, i’m sure you’ll love them all a lot!!!! hopefully!!!!!!!

[fisticough]

!! LONG RANT ABT EEVEELUTION SQUAD !!

Came back to this comic after years of forgetting abt it and I have a lot on my mind after finishing it so long rant ahead LOL

It genuinely had something good during the first part of the comic (might be the nostalgia talking) but after the unnecessary plot points like with Cc and Solarflare's virus it felt so overwhelming especially the pages during Solarflare's dream stuff it was so full of dialogue only one panel had any illustrations at some point. I feel bad for complaining about this because I know EV was probably stressed out of their mind when making the comic and I understand it was from the pressure of the fandom but I just need to say more stuff regarding it (I don't blame EV for the writing, what's done is done and it was definitely some of the fans influence which made it rused)

The story was better of as a slice of life with a bit of action instead of having so much lore and plot that didn't make sense. The first few main chapters were good for it's time (even though some parts were iffy ex. Gai being a genuine creep) but after chapter 5 it started to go downhill. The Cc plot point was so unnecessary it felt she isekaied out of a fanfic and tried to Frankenstein her way into the story. I liked the idea of her character in a way but I feel like it would have been a whole lot better for her to have her own story instead of being forced into the ES plot. She seems more of a fanfic protagonist than a side character. For the Solarflare virus thing, it was also pretty weird, I wouldn't say unnecessary but it felt so out of place. With the vacation plot happening, the ship shenanigans between Speed, Lazuli, and Silvia, and the Cc plot, it just genuinely felt so tiring to read when it came to that part. The comic panels were filled so much unnecessary lore and plot to the point you can only see text bubbles, I wish it could have been saved for another time to develop Flare's character but instead it was plopped into an already complicated plot. I loved Fluffy but I feel like they were introduced far too early into the plot.

I wish they had the time to develop more of the characters, especially Leafy, I think the only reason why she's one of the more well liked characters from the comic is because she felt like a breath of fresh air from the other characters (ex. lore-heavy-Speed and angsty-Black, etc.), I wish we got to see more of her like the time she was sad because of her father or when she took the blame off from her friends, it made her feel like a character you could relate with. (But I'm glad we got what we got because I feel like she would have been badly written otherwise)

It might seem like I'm angry but I genuinely love this comic (even though it's badly paced and written lol) it's very sentimental to me, it was a great creative outlet for me to cling on to during my younger years and I'm very thankful for that 💞

[kitttenteeth]

:,( vampy I was worried about you! Glitter angel <///////3 not to sound parasocial but things do feel rlly dull whenever you do your stray kitty thing. Always thinking about you, I hope you know you were missed! And hoping life has sweetened for you and that you were able to get that procedure for your bunny :( You’ve always been the sweetest girl to me and I know things started getting rlly hard, you are something so special and unique so pleaseeeee do not let this world take any of that sparkle from you. Idk why I am shy too shy send this off anon but I’m hoping any of this strikes some familiarity in you lol, message me if you ever need to talk! Love you kitty

;-; too sweet 4 me not to respond to rly quickly . Thank you so much! i feel too shy & very sugary over this lol, thank u ^^ My brownbunnie ended up not needing the botfly removal &she Is okay, i feel so blessed abt that. I am okay! my life has been feeling incredibly frustrating ! But all is okay. this msg means a lot & I feel inspired to vent. pretend we r all squished on the countertop 2Gether like we used to , when I was miss blogger. i’ve been In limbo with my living arrangement for nearly half a year + My family situation is . if I am speaking sweetly I would use the word disheartening lol + Mostly most of all When things go wrong with my animals There Is just genuinely no way of coping 4 me . i am so blessed that all the animals I take care of are currently healthy But a few scares happened + i became responsible for even MORE!! animals which ;-; isn’t necessarily where the issue lies . Ohh boo Trying not 2 ramble much but :

I have been taking care of animals truly as soon as i could start walking lol , my dad has always owned all sorts of farm animals & etc. And as a kid I took on a lot of that responsibility so it’s always been my life &very willingly so , It’s what makes me happiest [<- this is to explain I am confident in my care , It is so most definitely the thing i am best at / most proud of myself about. i feel strange sort of bragging abt it I guess but if it is true . Then YK i rly feel like i am allowed to lol! i do anything 4 animals I’m responsible for and I am rly proud of the amt of time &dedication & especially physical work I put into making sure they r all healthy and as happy as possible] flipside : I am aware it is a problem and all my life I have been told / attempted 2 work on it But anything happening to my animals has always been totally unsurvivable for me almost. it is , idk. It is rly distressing for every1 to see what happens to me ig And especially to hear the sorts of thoughts i have. So rambly ALL OF THIS TO SAY - i feel my dad Is irresponsible with the way he takes care of his animals So i have taken ~all~ of it up myself but with the limited resources i can afford + energy i have lost bcus I have been unwell for a while, i am rlyly frustrated with the circumstances and so badly at myself for not being able to give all these animals the type of care they deserve . If my love was enough Then they’d all be living in their own slice of heaven with heated blankets and heart - shaped ice cubes in their water containers but. :[ I have been doing the best i can with what I have the money for but this totally by far has been tenthousand bullets to my psyche And how can i blog when everyday i am crying abt my animals or digging the dirt out from my fingernails &cleaning outside until a snotbubble is frozen to my face . I just wish every animal in the world was okay lol . anyways. I love u! iknow who you r silly I will dm you soon <🐾3

[explorevenus]

Damnnn your Kennedy fic is so real. The rollercoaster you put us through. I can feel the nervous churning in my stomach for real. Girl I don’t even know how I wish for it to end damn.

hehehe i get that a lot and honestly i love it, it makes me proud as a writer lol

over the course of the story we kinda get dragged into darling's same mindset of like. "welp i'm not going anywhere so i might as well get used to it and he is kinda nice.....??" and idk. i'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything i'm just glad that has actually translated through the storytelling ;w;

(just so we're clear he's very obviously not nice he's a kidnapper among other things but we're being delusional here in the safety of fiction)

i think it's really valid to be conflicted abt how we want it to end bc on one hand, staying w leon means giving into the man who took everything from you, but leaving means spending the rest of your life on the run from a man who has more than enough resources to protect himself and to find you, and now you have a baby to worry about. no matter how you slice it, darling is never going to have a normal life again, so what really is the best case scenario here?

tough to say ;w;

[mightbeorphanedidk]

Backstory rn i want details fandoms and all

HOOOOOO BOY

Alright sit yourselves down kids

IT STARTED IN 2020.

Dsmp phase, my first fic was a rewrite of the plot of the dsmp (self-insert ofc) with my own spin on things. I wrote it because quarantine and I didn't have much else to do, so I pulled up docs on my crappy windows 2010 model (it was so bad that upon starting it up, it would start overheating. Opening more than three tabs at a time caused it to crash) and began writing. Learned I loved to write, so I kept going with it.

2021 I had my hazbin hotel phase. Wrote a fucking like 400 page fanfic that was... (IM ASHAMED.) CHARLASTOR... I would say it wasnt them directly but it was, Alastor never stopped smiling and loved his mama, and "Charlotte" had her parents abandon her. The story was so shit. I tried to see if I could rewrite it, maybe change it a lot, but nope. So much shit happened that was so unnecessary I couldn't save it. I think the story was just me trying out different troupes and prompts.

HOWEVER, i did write shorter fanfics of the two (yeah i wrote a fanfic of my own fanfic fuck off okay leave me alone) that were somewhat OKAY. Like, they werent the best, but theh sure as hell had better structure than the first fic.

2022 i had a... actually what DID i have.. OH FJCK RIGHT

ENCANTO. THAT SHIT WAS SOOO BAD... I actually preordered a Bruno funko pop so thats cool. NOT RELEVANT. I MADE THIS BOMBASS STORY ABT THE CANDLE BEING EVIL AND IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD DUDE. LIKE SO GOOD. I LOVED IT.

And then i lost it. It’s gone. Actually i might be able to find it give me a moment.. found it. 200 PAGES OF DIFFERENT FICS I WROTE. There are 6 different stories in here. Christ these were actually kinda good

In late 2022 and all of 2023 i got into detroit become human. Uhh let me think.. OVER 1000 FUCKING PAGES OF THESE ROBOTS. 1000 pages, like 90 different fics, but only 23 were released. May release more. THESE WERE ACTUALLY GOOD. I LIKED A GOOD MAJORITY OF THEM.

And that brings us to 2024. What started as "hey dr facilier reminds me of Alastor ill write a fic" turned into a revisitation of my 2021 phase. Get me the fuck out of here.

Now, you may be asking "bruh didn't you write ur own stories tf" I DID! titles were never my strong suit but ill list the ones I wrote anyways

Edit: realised listing the titles was a risk cus i shared them w my irl friend LMAOO

1. Dark Romance, WIP

2. Action and sci-fi, completed, 500 pages

3. Slice of Life, never completed, 60 pages

4. Musical Story Attempt: 40 pages, never complete

5. Action, Dark romance, never completed, 120 pages

Ones I DIDN'T SHARE with her:

Identical Opposites (again, titles were not my thing lol): Romance, never completed, 300 pages

Thats it lol. Yeah every villian had their backstory DSMP was mine LMAOOO i blame you quarantine

Eh, but honestly, if I didn't get into writing, idk where tf i would be. Probably dead 💀

[davyjoneslockr]

wait the mista thing reminded me do you remember that one quote murolo makes abt his stand being divided... what do u think that means if we apply it to mista bc murolo knows abt like bad company and the. other stand I forgot but he knew Things and ur the mista person.... so enlighten me if u can with ur very cool thoughts

YES I think about this so much. Like literally the first thing that came to mind when Murolo mentioned that was "wait. Mista though."

(For reference/anyone who hasn't read PHF, this is the quote in question:)

Obviously, by the time of Purple Haze Feedback, Mista has a "hollow pit inside," caused by the grief of watching his loved ones die and, very likely, having no other support mechanisms to process it (he's isolated from Trish, and his relationships with Giorno and Fugo are rocky, at best). At the same time, I think the Sex Pistols being a colony stand has to stem from something further back - after all, they've been a colony since he obtained them years prior (and his backstory seems to imply that, even before the stand arrow, they'd existed on some level, though they hadn't yet manifested).

If I can refer back to that Fugo and Mista post, I think what split the Sex Pistols might have been his very OCD-coded thought patterns. Just as All Along the Watchtower (a stand made from a deck of cards, which puts on performances with the "stage name" The Watchtower Troupe) reflects Murolo's belief that the world around him is flimsy and unstable, and that he can't trust anyone and must put on facades to avoid being betrayed; and how he claims Metallica, Bad Company, and Harvest reflected their own users' "hollow pits;" the Sex Pistols are another facet of Mista's life that give him routines and structure, even if it seems irrational to others. He actively has to take care of the Sex Pistols, feed them when they need to be fed, keep them in line behaviorally, etc, or he'll be defenseless, and tangible harm could come to him. Forgetting to, say, give the Pistols lunch would be, in Mista's mind, no different than taking the fourth slice of cake; in both cases, performing (or not performing) a specific, seemingly unrelated action puts him in danger.

The other thing that's interesting about the Sex Pistols, though, is that they're completely sentient. Historically, we see this with characters that have a strong resolve: Koichi, Trish, Giorno, and so on. At the same time, there's characters whose stands behave independently because they lack control over themselves - namely Fugo, to the point where Giorno expresses fear that Fugo dying without coming to terms with his anger/finding self-worth could cause Purple Haze to run wild like Notorious B.I.G. In a way, I think Mista's both; he has incredible resolve, yes, but it takes the smallest, most arbitrary thing to destroy that confidence. From his manga profile:

So the Sex Pistols are sentient, but unlike Echoes Act III, Spice Girl, or Gold Experience Requiem - who may act outside their user's conscious wishes, but always for the best - the way they behave is sometimes to Mista's detriment. They'll get distracted, fight with each other, feed into Mista's paranoia, and so on.

Going back to that Murolo quote does make me wonder, though - based on his theory as to why a stand splits into a colony, why aren't some other stands split? It would make a lot of sense for Purple Haze, Moody Blues, and Voodoo Child to be, for instance, because I'd say that Fugo, Abbacchio, and Sheila E all have their own "hollow pits" that shape them as people. Beyond Vento Aureo/PHF, it'd even make sense for Polnareff, Kakyoin, and Jolyne, off the top of my head. I'd even argue, if Keicho's obsession with his ambition is what made Bad Company a colony stand, shouldn't Giorno have a colony stand? Then again, maybe this implies something about Giorno - that, even if he tries to hide it, the people in his life are more important than his dream. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into this.

But thank you for bringing this up, this Murolo line lives in my brain rent-free and I've been looking for an excuse to talk about it with regard to Mista forever lol

[minquiec]

A brief intermission as we cut to a bus that has crashed into my life: the bus also known as choso from the Hit Anime And Manga Jujutsu Kaisen

Yyyyyyookkkayyyyy

Yknow the fixation is fixating when you start making ocxccs about it

Off topic but I've actually only ever made two proper ocxcc ships with lore and planning in them (the first being my genshin one and the second being jipunk which was THIS year (had my genshin one for TWO YEARS which is crazy) so the fact I'm making another shows how much this man is affecting my mental state rn

But it also means I still love my other ships very much so 🎉🎉🎉 even if I don't draw it as much cause I can't focus on two things LOLOL

ANYWAYS ONTO THE ACTUAL POST

I said this on my story but the concept was like, a seperate setting bc I'm toooo dumb to understand jjk lore

AND, this is rlly dumb, THE WHOLE REASON BEHIND THIS SHIP IS BC I JUST WANNA CREATE A CHARACTER FOR HIM TO LOVE,,, (CHOSOYUKI IS CUTE BUT I NEED A DIFFERENT VIBE TO SATISFY MY DESIRE TO SEE THIS MAN HAPPY)

but yeah bc of that their dynamic is like

aloof and reserved individual who doesn't quite understand the concept of love outside of the familial one and is actually quite hesitant and shy abt it x a strange but kind person who slowly teaches him the aforementioned concept

Ok so the idea of how it goes is like choso randomly wakes up in a place

And this is highkey spoilers for like the 'endgame' of this but I'm never gonna make an actual plot sooo (plus I need to explain this before I sound insane)

The inspiration is like Elysian Fields (bit obsessed w this recently, I drew a jipunk piece abt this too) and ITS ALL CAUSE OF CHOSOS NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE IN THE MANGA AND WE'RE ALL FREAKING OUT ABT IT

But yes he wakes up in an unfamiliar field in an unfamiliar place but he's strangely calm about it (dunno why he is but I'll get back to thinking abt it later) but he spots this house in the distance and naturally he goes to it

And so he would meet haruko who's a little strange because she has no last name and isn't bothered by the fact that one. She lives in the middle of absolutely nowhere, and two. That he just shows up

She's even like "oh I haven't had visitors in a long while ☺️"

Aaannnd then cue a slow burn slice of life romance im gonna force them to have bc ASHBBENBKKKRMENJ SLOWBURN AGAGG cause there's no way someone like him is falling at first sight (imo anyways)

(Just a fun fact I fell asleep after writing this part and then woke up again HAHDHS it was 2 am.)

But yeah the situation is literally just the forced proximity trope where it's "oh I have to live with this stranger while I try to understand wtf is going but oh no I appear to have slowly fallen in love"

I just want someone to be nice :(( and kind :(( to him :((((( hold his hand pls and be so nice and gentle w his heart cause he's new at this :((((((((

Thinking abt how it's a slow burn is making me crazy rn cause it means we have a lot of stolen glances AHEGGEFGGG and like getting nervous HHHRGGGGRHH and shyness YYYRYYHGGRHHH and it's mostly all from choso cause I love it when a man falls harder 🔥🔥

Anyways I think that's mostly it for now cause I can't remember what else I wanted to say 🧚

[soccerpunching]

Talk to me about Filo breads👁️👁️ what are your favorites. Say anything you want about them. Recommend some. Whatever. I just want you to talk about bread

(Btw you need not explain every food term u have, due to circumstances I wound up learning a bit about Filo baked goods/food some time ago hahah)

I USED TO BE THE FAVORITE CUSTOMER OF THE LOCAL PANADERIA (BAKERY) THAT I USED TO LIVE IN!!

They remember me bcs i always buy a different baked good everyday even tho i dont talk aside from saying how many of the product i pointed at did i want to buy. I dont think they heard me say more than twenty words in my life even though that was everyday

But the funny thing is that, in the most autistic manner, im just buying the things i want in like a cycle of how they display their products behind the glass. Im just choosing them clockwise so they know what i'll be having before i get there but i can tell when they move something from the usuals that are there, just a funny thing to share...! (U asked abt bread talk and i talked abt bakeries for some reason sfdadafada)

As for my favorite filo breads and baked goods bcs i have to mix that in (prob not all filo ogs but theyre my childhood!!) My top 10 favorites!!!

PANDESAL!!! I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THEM!!! I LOVE THEM IN ALL FLAVORS BUT MALUNGGAY PANDESAL IS MY FAV. FILIPINO PANDESAL IS A MUST TO TRY IN THE PH!!! ESP AFTER IT'S JUST BAKED IN THE MORNING!!!

MONAY MONAY MONAY!! MY LIFE SAVER ALWAYS. I love the texture so much in an autistic way. I touch it over my face before eating. Very so not weird lore lore

Spanish bread!!!! The more butter it has, the more im in love w it!!!

Cheese bread!!! I cannot live w/o cheese. That is the gist of my cheese bread love reasons

Mamon!! It's literally the softest thing ever and they made them so small where i used to but it so i like taking that in one bite

Pianono <33333 - same w mamon, they are so small and cute!!!! The pianono i used to but have a different flavor after a while, changed after im done w my clockwise bread buying all the time

Asado rolls 🤤 - i love asado in siopao, i love it as a dish, so of course i love it in bread!!! Im just a really big fan of asado maybe

Egg pie - technically... a pie. But I only buy a slice!!! (Bcs thats what i can only afford... also why i choose differently everyday bcs my school budget is pretty low)

Kalihim - it's like eating softer bread in bread. Idk how to explain but i love the texture in my mouth when i eat it

Kababayan - on the last spot only bcs it gets stuck at the roof of my mouth, otherwise delicious!!!

I LOVE A LOT OF BREAD THAT I SEE AND IDK IF THEYRE ALL ORIGINALLY FILO BREADS AT ALL (im only there for the eating part sfsfhaafs)