#and i think little max and little chris mostly get along.......mostly

[marshmellowtea]

obviously i think trevor is little!chris's primary caregiver but tbh i feel like he latches on pretty hard to caregiver!sandra as well because A) they're friends to me and you can't take that away from me gkldsjfkl and so he's relatively comfortable being vulnerable around her and B) he's never had a strong mother figure in his life so he naturally kinda gravitates to her gentle maternal style of caregiving :')

[sturniolobsessed]

NSFW ALPHABET - M.STURNIOLO

Warnings : SMUTT and lots of it, swearing

Summary : Pretty self explanatory. It’s a NSFW alphabet about Matt Sturniolo

Authors note : I’m gonna do a Chris version of this and both a Chris and Matt version of a SFW one after. I’m also changing up my writing style a little <3

________________________________________

A - Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

This man is doing everything you need. You want cuddles? You got em. You need water? He’s getting it for you. You want a bath or shower? The water is already running, babe.

B - Body Part (Their and your favourite body part of each other)

His favourite body part on you is your lips. He loves to kiss them softly when he is feeling sweet and sensual and he also loves to see them wrapped around his cock. Your favourite body part of his is his eyes. You love to stare into his eyes when you ride him because you know that it drives him crazy.

C - Cum (Anything to do with cum)

Matt would be a little bit nervous to cum inside of you if you’re not on the pill but if you are, he’s happy to do so. He also likes cumming in your mouth because he likes to watch you swallow it.

D - Dirty Secret (A dirty secret of theirs)

Matt would love phone sex when you’re not there to make him feel good in person.

E - Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

I think that he would have slim to no experience before you, maybe 1-2 bodies max but maybe even 0, but he is very happy to let you teach him or just learn along the way.

F - Favourite Position (Goes without saying)

I think he would usually like the classics, missionary and doggy, but he also heavily fucks with cowgirl when he’s in the right mood for it. Matt would mainly like to be in charge but he’s never gonna say no if you wanna ride him.

G - Goofy (Are they more serious or more goofy in the moment?)

Matt is usually a funny guy but I think, when it comes to intimate moments like this, he is quite serious. He is gonna laugh every now and then when something funny happens but he’s mostly pretty serious.

H - Hair (How well trimmed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)

He would keep it trimmed but never completely bald. When it comes to you, he really doesn’t care at all. He loves you enough that it’s barely a thought in his mind.

I - Intimacy (How intimate are they during the moment?)

Matt is always very loving with you, no matter what the circumstance so yes, he’s still telling you that he loves you even if he was just calling you a slut a minute ago.

J - Jerking Off (Masturbation)

He would definitely jerk off to a picture of you or just the thought of you when you’re not there. You are always on his mind, romantically and sexually.

K - Kinks (What kinks do they have?)

Matt is fairly vanilla in my opinion but he is definitely not afraid to try things if you ask. I do think that he would like praise and degradation though. I think that he would also like car head but not necessarily while he’s driving because he would be very anxious about crashing or being seen.

L - Location (Favourite place/s to do it)

Matt is a sucker for car sex. You’ve fucked in the drivers seat, passengers seat and the back seat of his car. Other than that, he’s mainly sticking to the bedroom and occasionally the shower.

M - Motivation (What gets them going?)

He thinks that everything you do is hot so quite a lot of things get him going. I think that he would find certain things especially attractive though, like dirty talk, when you’re angry and intense eye contact.

N - No (Things they aren’t open to in bed)

Pegging or anything that is going to cause you pain. He loves you too much to hurt you and he is definitely not open to you going anywhere near his ass. It’s okay if you dom him but not that much.

O - Oral (Are they good at it? Do they prefer to give or receive?)

I mean.. Matt’s nickname is Matt the munch for a reason. He is the absolute king of eating pussy and he loves to make you feel good. Of course he loves when you give him head but he prefers making you good and watching you squirm underneath his touch.

P - Pace (Are they fast and rough or slow and sensual?)

Personally, I think that Matt is a mix of both depending what mood you’re both in. He is amazing at both though. Sometimes he prefers to be slow and sensual, holding you, praising you, telling you he loves you, etc. On the other hand, he can also be fast and rough, hitting it from behind, degrading you and calling you his ‘pretty slut’.

Q - Quickie (Their opinion on quickies and how often?)

Matt would prefer to take his time with you, teasing you and a fuck ton of foreplay, so I don’t think that he would be a huge fan of them. If it was heat of the moment and you really wanted each other, though, he is happy to have a quick one in the bathroom or something.

R - Risk (Are they willing to take risks?)

He wants to do anything to please you and make you feel good but, as I said earlier, he doesn’t want to do anything that is going to hurt you. Other than that, he doesn’t mind trying new things if you want to.

S - Stamina (How many rounds? How long do they last?)

He can go for 2-3 rounds before it gets too much for him but sometimes 4 if you haven’t seen each other for a while. Matt obviously does want to be able to cum but he is more bothered about getting you over the edge.

T - Toys (Do they own toys? If so, how many and which ones?)

I think he wouldn’t own any toys personally but he is not against using your toys on you. I think he would like using a vibrator on you, especially those ones you can control so that he can tease you in public or around others.

U - Unfair (Do they like to tease? If so, how much?)

He would DEFINITELY like to tease you and would do it all the time. He would edge you until you’re begging to be touched, over and over again.

V - Volume (How loud are they? Do they grunt, moan, whimper, etc?)

I’d say that Matt is quite loud, especially when you’re taking control, because he likes showing you how good you’re doing. I think he would moan and grunt and very occasionally whimper when you’ve been teasing him for a while and he finally cums.

W - Wild Card (A random headcannon)

He can get quite sexually frustrated when he is jealous or angry and he can sometimes take it out on you. If he ever takes it to far, he apologises profusely and will make it up to you with lots of cuddles and kisses afterwards.

X - X-Ray (What have they got going on under their clothes?)

I think that Matt is above average but not excessively big. I’d say that he is 6-8 inches but he is on the girthier side.

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I think that Matt would be one horny motherfucker when you guys get comfortable. You probably have sex about 2-4 times a week and when it is on the fewer side, he makes up for it in rounds and how long he lasts for.

Z - Zzz (How fast do they fall asleep after?)

Matt would probably not be too fast to fall asleep because he wants to do aftercare and cuddle together but when you fall asleep, he’s out like a light.

________________________________________

Taglist : @astrolynnworld @moncherriis @mattybsbitch @mangoposts @sturniolo0ntop @bluesturniolo333 @mattyssluttt @strnzzvsp @sturnsem @slappedbymatt @ellaapsworld @subchrisgirlfriend333 @stuniolvs @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @loud-sturniolos @iheartmattsbeard @sturnivoid @twitchstreammattsgf @33sturniolo @sturnsxx

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

tti episode 19

“Last time on Total Takes Island: we scared our remaining campers half to death in a horror-movie themed challenge. Ass sacrificed their “friend” Julia, and horror-nuts Bonnie and Patrick were also the first to go, but not before meeting up with a few old friends along the way. In the end, Michael sacrificed herself for Max, who then sacrificed himself for her, taking the walk of shame so she didn’t have to. Will the campers survive another evening? Will Staci ever go bald? Find out now- on Total! Takes! Island!”

The remaining campers walk out to the grassy knoll by the docks, where they’d been instructed to meet this morning. It’s mostly silent, aside from McLovin’s occasional sneeze and sniffle from the small cold he caught during the overnight horror challenge. 

Staci and Bonnie- even Julia and Patrick- and occasionally Ass look back to Michael sulking behind the group, looking tired and dejected. Bonnie bites their lip and looks at the ground nervously. 

---

BONNIE: “I usually try to avoid empathizing with people, but... I know what it’s like to have your only friend taken away from you when you need them most.”

---

“I’m going to go talk to her,” Bonnie says, chewing on a fingernail. 

Patrick raises an eyebrow. “You sure that’s a good idea? She was almost sent home last night. Fraternizing might put a target on your back,”

“No. Besides- if I can get Julia first, then we can collectively vote Ass out next time,” they say. “No one likes them, anyway. At least Michael is nice.”

He shrugs and rolls his eyes, and Bonnie slows down to walk backwards from the rest of the group, stopping and resuming walking forward once they’re side by side with Michael. 

“How’re you holding up?” they ask, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

She sighs. “Not well. I still feel really guilty,”

“Hey, Max volunteered to quit. That’s not on you. Honestly, I wish Caesar or Courtney had chosen to leave instead of being voted out by that witch,” Bonnie offers. “And he did it for you. That must mean a lot, huh?”

“Yeah… it just feels unfair to him,”

Bonnie sighs. “Listen… I don’t like to extend offers for this, but if you ever need to count on someone’s vote, I’m open. It's the least I can do,” they pause to look at Ass and Julia, who are walking arm-in-arm. “And I think I can guess who you’d go for next.”

Up ahead, a large wooden cage falls over the group of campers. Bonnie and Michael stop, watching the scene as their fellow contestants shout in annoyance, and then a large net is thrown over them as Chris steps out holding a beaver. 

“Good morning, campers! Ready for today’s challenge?” 

“Um- what’s with the prison cell, McLean?” Ass asks, hands on the wooden bars. "What is this, the Shaw-lame Redemption?"

Julia rolls her eyes.

---

JULIA: "That's not even clever!"

---

“There are only seven of you left on the island, as I’m sure Michael is well aware,” Chris smiles. Michael glares at him. “After tonight- six! We’re nearing the end, kids! So, today’s challenge is a Canadian favorite- trapping!” 

“What?” Bonnie asks, squinting at him suspiciously. 

“You’ll be trapping wild animals and bringing them back to the campfire. They must return unharmed,” he says, staring at Ass. They roll their eyes. “The reward for winning today’s challenge is a meal of epic proportions!”

The campers' eyes widen and they look between each other. 

“Real food?” Julia asks. 

“Real food. Your favorites, in fact,” he chuckles. “Made on the house by master cook, Chef Hatchet!”

Chef waves from the kitchen with a smile. The campers gasp. 

---

ASS: “Okay, so we have to trap a few wild animals. So what? I’ve been brushing up on my zoology since I returned to the island- I’ll just catch a dragonfly or something easy.”

---

“Ooh, a little bounty hunting, how scary!” Ass smiles, crossing their arms. 

“Glad you think so, Natalie,” Chris grins, holding up a bucket. “Time to choose your animals!”

Bonnie steps up first, pulling a piece of paper from the tin and smiling. “Duck. Okay, not bad,”

Michael goes next. “Deer? Oh, man,” Bonnie places a reassuring hand on their shoulder and tries an empathetic smile. 

Ass rolls their eyes and shoves them apart, reaching into the bucket and rifling around for a good card for at least three minutes while the other campers watch in annoyance. 

“Just pick the damn card already!” Patrick shouts. Ass turns to shoot him a glare and he whimpers. 

They pull out a slip of paper, smirking back at the crowd. “How hard could it be- probably just trapping squirrels- Oh,” their smile drops as they read their card- bear. Chris chuckles. 

“Ooh, me next!” Staci says, rushing up and grabbing a card from the pile. “Beaver! Aww, they’re cute.”

The Canadians in the group wince at her. “What?”

Julia gets a frog- McLovin gets a chipmunk (much to his relief)- and Patrick gets a raccoon. Chris leads them out to the boathouse to gather supplies. 

“You get 60 seconds to grab all the things you might need to trap your animal,” Chris says, gesturing to the boathouse. “Then you’re off! Oh, and loser gets to clean the communal bathrooms.”

The campers gasp and run into the boathouse, digging through it frantically. Ass drags Julia in and forces her to carry out a few crates, dumping them on the sand outside. Michael scans the room, thinking to herself before spotting the deer outfits from earlier that season. Bonnie finds another net, but Patrick snatches it before they can. 

“Ooh, almost got it,” he taunts before running outside. Bonnie rolls their eyes. 

---

BONNIE: “I like Patrick. I do, honest. He’s really funny, especially when he trips on stuff and then cries about scuffing his fancy leather shoes. But he’s definitely not what I’d call ‘friend material’.”

---

“Here,” Michael offers, holding up a purple tin of duck bait. 

Bonnie’s eyes widen. “Oh, nice find!” 

“Coming through!” Staci yells, barrelling into the boathouse and grabbing everything she can in a flash of pink. Before Bonnie can even accept the duck bait, it’s gone from Michael’s hand. 

---

STACI: “I know nothing about beavers besides those cute little informational brochures from the petting zoo. But I do know that now that I’ve lost my chance to be first boot, go bald, and I keep forgetting stuff about my family tree, it’s time to focus on winning,”

---

Bonnie leaves the boathouse empty handed and sighs as they see Julia and Ass digging through a few crates of supplies that they’re hoarding like dragons, hissing at anyone who gets close. 

Patrick walks away with his net, smirking back at the crowd as they dig through what they found. Michael walks in the opposite direction, holding the deer gear and a box of sugarcubes. She stops just before she leaves, seeing Bonnie empty-handed, and backtracks a little. 

“I know you work alone and all, but I could probably help you get a duck, it's the least I can do,” Michael offers. 

Bonnie shrugs. “Fair enough. But let’s deal with you deer problem first,”

“Ugh, all of this is useless!” Ass says, throwing away a shovel. “How does Chris expect us to trap a bear with this junk!”

“Um, us?” Julia almost laughs, picking up a bucket and a tin of live bait.

“Yes, us. This is what friends are for, remember?” They snap. Julia has no reaction. “Okay, fine! Go trap your dumb frog and meet me back at the mess hall in thirty minutes.”

Julia shrugs and walks off. 

Staci sorts through their pile of goodies, humming to themselves as they set off a few wooden planks to the side. Ass leaves, making them the only camper remaining at the boathouse. 

“Um, dude, you better get going,” Chris says. “Everyone else left ages ago- don’t you have a great-great-great-whatever trapper in your family?”

She rolls her eyes with a smile. “Probably. But I don’t know anything about that, I’m an engineer,” she holds up a hammer. 

---

McLovin stumbles through the woods, looking around for any sign of life. He doesn’t seem too worried about his assigned animal- after all, it’s just a chipmunk. Instead, he takes his time, swinging around the plastic pail and dragging the garden hoe he’d picked up from the boathouse while whistling a tune. 

After a bit of walking, he steps into a clearing. “Perfect,” he says, and drops his supplies. 

---

Michael and Bonnie sit in a tree branch somewhere in the woods, swinging their legs back and forth and chatting idly. No animal has come by in some time, but the two have already forgotten about the challenge anyway. 

“And I guess I was just like, so desperate to escape my crappy home life that I just threw myself at anyone who gave me attention, good or bad,” Michael says, plucking a leaf off of the tree and running her thumb over the smooth surface. “I got lucky with Max, but I dealt with a lot of nasty people along the way.”

“I’m like, the complete opposite. I was so against the idea of making friends that when Caesar came along, it took me completely by surprise. It’s why his elimination was so hard for me- I hadn’t even fully processed having a friend at all, let alone was I prepared to lose one so suddenly,” Bonnie sighs. “I’m trying to be more open, though. And like, nice, I guess.”

Michael smiles. “You have a lot of internal walls built up, huh? Avoidant attachment style?”

“I have no idea what that means,”

She shrugs. “I don’t really, either. Max throws around a lot of psychology terms I don’t fully get. It’s kind of cute,”

“I personally don’t see it, but whatever makes you happy,” Bonnie says. “At least it’s not that pool noodle everyone else is drooling over.”

Michael goes pale for a moment, and then laughs nervously. Luckily, a rustling from the bushes below puts a halt to the conversation and they both look down as a deer steps directly under the tree to get to the pile of sugarcubes below. Bonnie nods, and Michael stands on the branch before jumping down onto its back. 

It huffs and begins bucking its hind legs, throwing Michael around. She tries to hold on for a few minutes, but it eventually throws her off. Bonnie winces and hops down as the deer runs away, helping Michael up from the bushes. 

“Okay, ow,” she says, picking a few thistles from her skirt. “That was harder than I thought it’d be. I’m not getting out of here alive.”

“Hm,” Bonnie thinks for a moment. “I’m not super great at offering advice, but when I’m in a tough situation, I like to ask myself what Caesar would do. So… what would Max do?”

Michael sighs. “I’m not sure if that proverb is applicable here. Max would probably get so frustrated he’d start crying. But… maybe you do have a point,”

Bonnie watches in an awkward confusion as Michael closes her eyes and clenches her fists. “I want to win. I want to win. I want to win,”

She takes a few deep breaths and then opens her eyes again, smiling at Bonnie. “I think I have a plan,”

---

Julia steps into a swampy, muddy area, bucket in hand as she scans the area. She delicately steps around the large puddles of dirty water and mud to avoid getting her shoes wet. 

She has no way of checking the time, so she’s been counting down the seconds in her head. “One thousand two hundred and four, one thousand two hundred and three, one thousand two hundred and two…”

---

JULIA: “Okay, so I hate Natalie, and I hate their stupid "too cool for school" attitude. But look at who’s left- goth thing, terminally online, that green haired freak, the most pathetic man I’ve ever met, and McLovin, all of whom are gonna come for me first if I lose this alliance.”

---

“One thousand one hundred and eighty seven, one thousand one hundred and eighty six- hey!” Julia shouts in delight, spotting a frog embedded in a mud puddle nearby. “Piece of cake.” she smirks, creeping up to it, bucket overhead. 

She slams the bucket down, but just before it can hit the ground the frog leaps onto her face, sending her backwards and splashing her in mud. 

“Oh, great! This was my last clean shirt! You’re gonna pay for this!” Julia snaps, standing and chasing the frog as it hops away.

---

Patrick steps into an unfamiliar part of the forest, far from camp and far from where any raccoons might live. He sighs, folding up the net and slinging it over his shoulder as he walks, cupping his mouth to shout. 

“KITTY!” he yells. “KITTY!”

Nothing besides a flock of birds flying away in the nearby trees. He sighs again, slicking back his hair before brushing off a flat-ish boulder and taking a seat, crossing his legs and waiting in silence. 

After a few minutes, a skittering noise catches his attention and he smiles as Kitty pops up from the underbrush, shaking off a few roaches and ants like a dog. 

They stand on two legs and take a seat next to him, folding their hands in their lap and smiling. “Hiya!” they say. 

Patrick pats their head like one might a dog. “Hey, Kit. Happen to know where I could bag a raccoon?”

“Oh, yeah, they’re all over! Here!” Kitty drops to all fours again and rushes off into the woods, Patrick standing and following in close pursuit. 

---

Ass checks the time on their watch- it’s already been forty-five minutes, and nothing. They huff, kicking a rock and walking out of camp, grumbling about that no-good Julia. 

As they storm through the forest in search of their ally, they hear a faint giggling from behind a few bushes and curiously poke their head into a clearing. In it is an odd combination of items- a tiny pebble-lined path, an acorn, a garden hoe, and a bucket propped up with a stick. 

They raise an eyebrow. “Hello?”

Someone gasps in surprise and stands up suddenly, hitting their head on a low-hanging tree branch and groaning. Seconds later, McLovin stands, rubbing his head. 

“Oh, Ass. Hey,” he says. 

“Hi, MC. What’s this?” 

He looks around at the setup and then smiles confidently, crossing his arms over his chest. “My trap. Built it myself,”

“Okay… um, how exactly is this a trap?”

McLovin ducks out from his hiding spot and walks over to Ass’ side to navigate them through the course, pointing out the various fixtures. “Here’s the idea- the chipmunk will walk into the clearing, right? He’ll see the acorn and he’ll walk down the path I made trying to get it. When he has it, he’ll be so distracted eating that he won’t notice the hoe- when he steps on it, it’ll hit him in the face and he’ll either pass out, or get dizzy enough to trip and fall into the bucket, knocking over the stick and trapping him! It's fool-proof!”

Ass blinks.

---

ASS: “Look at who’s left- those two “alternative” things, crybaby Pattie, miss “thinks she’s sooo smart”, the pink chick and McLovin, who’s only still here because no one hates him enough to vote him out. He's kind of like the pet of the group. I’m honestly shocked he hasn’t died of tetanus yet,"

---

Ass smiles. “Seems like you’ve got things figured out here. Wanna take a break and help me out for a sec?”

McLovin raises an eyebrow. “What about Julia?”

“I gave her the day off, she’s been working so hard, you know? But I could really use some help,”

“Hm… well, if you’re sure! No way any chipmunk is getting out of my invention!” McLovin smiles confidently. “I’d love to help!”

---

Michael slowly backs out of the woods, tail and antlers on and palm full of sugar cubes that she’s methodically dropping. Bonnie watches from afar as a small doe follows her, trailing the snack. 

---

MICHAEL: “Okay, admittedly, I don’t know anything about deer, so I just kinda thought, how would I trap McLovin? He’s fragile and easily frightened, so I’d have to give the impression of safety. Secondly, he loves candy, so if I wanted to bring him somewhere, I’d have to offer a sugary reward. Third, he’s scared of loud noises and sudden movements, so I'd have to be quiet and predictable. Easy enough,”

---

“Open the cage,” she whispers to Chris as she approaches the wooden trap at the campfire pit. “Open the cage!”

The host shrugs and opens the door, allowing Michael to toss the rest of the sugar cubes inside and slam it shut. “Yes, yes!” she whisper-shouts. “I get the dinner! I won!”

Bonnie catches up with her, and the two high-five. “Okay, now let’s go get that duck,”

---

Staci hovers over the entrance of a beaver dam, holding a surprisingly complex trap made of wood, scrap metal, and netting up by a rope. By now, she’s been waiting for a few hours for the beavers to swim out from their underwater grotto, and so far she’s still patient and quiet. 

A small crunching of twigs has them hold their breath as a large beaver swims out of the hole- Staci drops the contraption into the water, covering it, and pulls out a remote with two large buttons. She presses one and a glass floor slides out, concealing the box. 

Staci pulls it out of the water with the trapped beaver inside, smiling. 

---

STACI: “I’ve learned a lot about myself on this show, honestly. Like, was the original Staci a mechanical genius? No, but I am! And that’s fine, I don’t need to be just like Staci to feel like myself. I can be a little bit of everything, even if that means just being another version of Staci, a mix of passions and interests and family history that makes me both!”

---

Staci jogs off into the woods back to camp, contraption and beaver in hand. They smile proudly as they run, giving a reassuring wave to the beaver inside. “Don’t worry little guy, I’ll have you back home in-”

They bump into something and stumble backwards, their heavy box causing them to drop onto their butt. “Hey!” they say, looking up to see Patrick and… someone else. As their eyes adjust to the contrast from the figures and the sky, they gasp. “Kitty?”

“What’re you doing out here?” Patrick asks sharply. There’s a sleeping raccoon in Kitty’s arms. 

“Patrick, how long have you known Kitty is still on the island- and- have they been helping you?”

Patrick glances at Kitty, then back to Staci. He sighs, taking the raccoon from them and shaking his head. “I was hoping no one would find us yet,”

Kitty starts stalking up to them, smiling. Staci’s eyes widen. 

---

“No hard feelings, right?” Patrick grins as he and Kitty walk back into the woods, leaving Staci hanging upside down from a tall tree branch in a makeshift trap. Their beaver cage hangs beside them, the creature inside chittering nervously. 

Staci glares as the two walk away. 

---

Julia grumbles, walking through the woods with a croaking frog resting on her mud-covered head. She’s coated in dirt and brownish water, soaked and caked in scum as she sulks down the trail back to camp. 

“Hey! Hey!”

Julia stops, looking around the path for a few moments before realizing the sound is coming from above. She looks up to see Staci, still hanging from the tree. “Um… got caught in your own trap?” she laughs. 

“Patrick put me up here. He’s been lying to everyone- he has a secret ally!” 

She raises an eyebrow. “Who?”

“I’ll tell you once me and Dawn are down!”

Julia blinks. “You named your beaver?”

“She needed a name. She’s an animal, not a prisoner,” Staci snaps. “Now help us down!”

Julia puts her frog in her pocket and begins scaling the tree. “Alright, alright,” she reaches the branch after a few moments of struggling to climb, untangling Staci from the trap and helping her and Dawn down. 

Staci takes a moment to regain their balance after being upside down for the past twenty minutes, and then immediately begins running back to camp. “Come on, we have to get there before Patrick!”

“Jeez,” Julia says, running after her. 

---

JULIA: “Okay, admittedly I haven’t been paying much attention to the more… sanity-challenged campers, but what happened to the cute and silly Staci?”

---

Patrick arrives at the campfire pit, Kitty gone and raccoon in tow. He opens the door and tosses in, but groans angrily as he sees a deer already inside. 

“Sorry, man, but at least you’re not cleaning the bathrooms,” Chris smiles. “Oh, and here comes Julia and Staci!”

Patrick blinks as he sees the two running up with their animals, both glaring at him. Chris opens the door, Julia setting her frog inside and Staci pressing the other button on their remote, opening the door and allowing the beaver in. “Both of you are safe from communal bathroom scrubbing!”

“OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN THE DOOR!” a distant voice shouts. Chris does as he’s told (for once) as Ass and McLovin come running, bear in close pursuit. The two manage to jump out of the way just as it runs inside, and Chris slams the door behind it, chuckling as Chef tranqs it with a dart gun nearby. 

“Wow, that’s a first. How’d you do it?” 

McLovin groans and collapses. Ass smiles. “Live bait,”

“Coming through!” Michael yells as she and Bonnie run up to the campfire pit, both trying to hold a very angry duck. It snaps and quacks at them until they toss it inside with the rest of the creatures, both panting. 

“Bonnie, looks like you were the last to get your animal inside the cage…” Chris says. Bonnie’s face drops. 

“...Is what I would say if I saw a chipmunk in there, which I do not. Which means McLovin will be on bathroom duty tonight.” 

McLovin’s eyes snap open. “My trap!”

---

Somewhere in the woods, a passed-out chipmunk lies beside a half-eaten acorn and a garden hoe skewed to the side. 

---

“Sorry, dude,” Chris chuckles, handing him a broom and dustpan. 

---

The inside of the mess hall is lively with chatter as everyone who Michael invited to join her dinner eats and talks over the amazing food Chef prepared, completely fish-free. 

Ass and Julia smile as they walk up to the door, but they’re promptly stopped by Michael blocking the entrance. “No way. This is a friends-only function. You two would be lucky if I consider giving you the leftovers,” 

Ass glares. 

---

ASS: “Okay, so, normally, I’d be convincing everyone to vote off Julia after what happened today. But I still need an ally and frankly, that Michael has been posing a big threat since losing that dweeb suddenly made her competent.”

---

“Okay, changed my mind,” Ass huffs, grabbing Julia’s wrist and dragging her behind them. “We’re not voting Patrick tonight. I say we target Michael.”

“But no one’s gonna vote for her. They’re all inside chumming it up,” Julia insists, jabbing her thumb backwards. 

“Not quite. We just need two votes to win the majority- McLovin will side with us no problem, he’s pretty easy to manipulate. Maybe we can convince Staci, too,”

Julia shakes her head. “Staci’s voting Patrick, like I promised I would, too. But maybe… maybe we can get him on our side…”

“Finally, a good idea from you,” Ass smiles. “I’ll go talk to him.”

---

Patrick knocks on the cabin door before entering without waiting for a response, looking around to make sure his targets are there. 

Sure enough, Michael and Bonnie are sitting on the bunks, talking amongst each other. They both raise an eyebrow as Patrick comes in. “What now?” Bonnie sighs. 

He smiles. “We’re voting Staci tonight,”

“Um,” Michael stares. “Says who?”

“Says Nattie out there, who’s rallying everyone to vote for her,” he points directly at Michael. “They’re not exactly happy about being snuffed, and they’ve already got Julia and McLovin on their side. I said I’d vote with them, but I have… bigger problems right now.”

“How is Staci a problem?” Bonnie asks, squinting at him. 

“It’s complicated. Point is, if you want to stay, you’ll need a tie. Staci’s already voting for me. If I get your votes, you and her will be even,” Patrick says. “Do we have a deal?”

Michael frowns for a moment, looking to Bonnie, who sighs. “Fine,”

“Excellent. I’ll try to, um, persuade McLovin to join our side, just in case,” Patrick grins, walking out into the night. 

---

“Most of you did a good job trapping your animals today- most of you. Some of you did a good job cleaning the bathrooms instead!” Chris smiles. McLovin’s head hangs. “But only one of you is going home, and oh, boy, do we have quite the show for you. Normally, I’d keep things anonymous, but the votes are juicy tonight, so I’m going to read them out loud!”

The campers look around uncomfortably. 

“Alright- let’s see…” Chris says, holding up a sheet of paper and putting on a pair of fake reading glasses. “Ass voted for Michael… Julia voted for Michael...” Ass smiles at Julia. “JMichael voted for Staci…”

Staci rolls her eyes, not surprised in the least until Chris continues. “Bonnie voted for Staci… Staci voted for Patrick… McLovin voted for himself…”

Patrick and Ass both turn to McLovin and glare. He seems to shrink in size as he cowers. 

---

MCLOVIN: “I was going to vote for Michael, I swear, but then Patrick came in and said all this scary stuff about twisting my limbs into knots. But Staci is still my friend, and I-I just couldn’t choose a side!”

---

“And the final vote from Patrick is for…” Ass returns to smiling confidently while Julia frowns slightly. “...Staci. Michael, you’re safe… for now.”

Staci sighs, standing. Patrick waves goodbye merrily as she begins walking to the docks. Ass stands and storms over to him, hands on their hips. “You no-good, backstabbing little worm!”

He shrugs. “Make crappy allies, win crappy prizes, your majesty,”

They growl before turning to McLovin. “And you- grow a goddamned spine already!”

McLovin winces as they storm off, dragging Julia behind them. 

---

STACI: "Okay, so, that sucked, but I guess I should've seen it coming. I have no idea how I made it this far in the first place! But I did learn, like, a lot about myself, and now I don't even need to bring up my relatives, or even the original Staci- I mean, I've eaten literal garbage, I invented a humane automatic beaver trap (which I'm totally patenting before this airs, by the way), I've competed in death-defying stunts and met some crazy people. And those experiences are mine, not Staci's, not my relatives or friends. They're Alex's, and you know what? I'm proud to be myself just as much as I am proud to be Staci." they cross their arms with a smile as the footage cuts out.

---

Chris pops up. “Who’s going home next? And who will pathetically wriggle their way out of making hard choices? Find out next time, on Total! Takes! Island!”

[somewhereinthepines]

do you have any chris/ryan AUs? i know you're rarely here now but i'm curious, i love your stories!

funny enough, they prob the pair for whom i have the most AUs lol. i usually don’t tend to shift things around too much in those tbh, since what tends to be important for me is the core of their narrative. so like chris be a werewolf in all of my AUs and ryan always gonna be that outsider kid, who has easier time talking with adults vs his mutuals. 

but welp, from the top of my head i can name 4 AUs, that i at times think about. 

1. 80s AU. where everything is pretty much the same, but characters have less technology, less awareness of supernatural stuff, bc all that they have at their disposal is novels and hella old movies, no podcasts or internet lol. also they would have different clothes as well. i’d so change ryan’s tho. but i love mister h’s red neckband, it can be used in so many ways! and while the quarry did low-key incorporated some elements of 80s horror into their game, i imagine that some key, little details still would have been different, if they were actually born during that time, cuz different culture and such. but with this being said, the main story would have remained the same. 

2. this one is tied up to a one-shot story, that i wrote, where ryan and chris are the only survivors out of the whole cast. and ryan is also a werewolf (and a murder) lol. it mostly deals with aftermath and how, and what are they even gonna do now, when everything is gone and they’re both ‘cursed’. you can call it a melancholic drama, with somewhat a happy ending. i mean, what is a better way to bond with your starcross lover, than both of you being monsters together? 

3. one of the darker AUs, that i have is the one, where all hacketts die, beside the brotherly trio. all campers beside, max and ryan are dead too. but while max is on the ran, as werewolf mind you, ryan gets captured by the hacketts and it’s where the dilemma starts. or bobby and travis want to kill him, bc he’s a witness, and chris is torn about the whole thing, since technically he has no one to protect now, perhaps…only ryan. this supposed to be a bit of an ‘odd’ spin on capture/captive thing, along with exploring more in depths how ryan’s acceptance and loyalty to chris might shatter after everything. but perhaps twist into something else as well. 

4. almost an actual red ridding hood AU. or ryan moves to North Kill for the summer to visit his grandparents, who live in the area, and upon exploring the forest mets, a charming, even if slightly strange man, who offers him a part-time job at his camp. though, in this AU, chris has no kids, and he lives in the hackett’s mansion together with his brother travis and their old, quiet father. it’s kinda a serial killer AU, with a werewolf twist. constance and bobby are dead in here, and ryan’s sister live with their mother, so it’s only ryan lol. 

i hope, that one day i will have time and energy to work on at least one of those or all of them! i have so many pairings / aus and ideas for them, that it's legit hard for me to be able to dab into everything in the same amount. but dang, i love thinking about chris/ryan existing within the same narrative (in a way), but also being able to explore their relationships in different set-ups.

[the-firebird69]

Money money from me which everybody knows I don't have to pay them when you're the one sitting there doing the government job that they want you to do who the f*** are you to do that kind of s*** to me first off you're a nobody secondly you're going to die little b**** and social security and thirdly they call you doing tons of stuff that's illegal and threatening me and threatening my social security and all month long not just once a month and their warrants out for you and charges because of it I don't think that you should be running around going into medical offices and saying that people owe money and doing it all over town and all over New York City and Washington and other places all of your people getting arrested doing this fraud. And I handed the girl a copy of my new insurance card and make sure I delivered it up there and I told Ken I was bringing it up and he saw me go over there too and this other witnesses you freaking freaking a****** you're not our clan I'm cutting you out cuz you retards are not us and requesting the Ken take it to harvest left if there is anyone will and Bill and the parents and Max part of it now cuz we're fighting someone else other than you believe it or not she did the job for Tommy f mostly and that's what Mac is saying

Zues Hera you too garth you take a hike yeah you're fired both you dumb f****** retards

We saw you go for his mom and she's a relative so you're dead that's what they said and their parents said too when you get rid of you dumb assholes and the clones too you're idiots

Hera

I want you gone now so I'm putting hits on you I'm raising your priority level and threat level your terrorists and you actually do stuff got to admit it over and over so I'm going to go gasall people cuz he's been threatening ours with it

Thor Freya

I don't appreciate you Garth and I don't appreciate what you're doing you're a sore loser and you're a bad freaking person you're a bad s means you don't know what you're doing. Your math is so screwed up I can't I can't understand what you're saying he wants you out he keeps on screaming over if he goes near you piece of crap you're doing things too they're pissing him off and threats we're going to flush your dumbass I'm putting hits on you piece of s***

Mac

We're putting hits on him too and a bounty and pulling card too kicking him out and pull all those stupid idiots out of there, DC. You don't belong to stick out like a sore thumb if I can't even use you so ornery and stupid

Thor Freya

As true as I'm going to fire her today just brought up on fraud charges and it went around the office you said where is Port Charlotte Florida this is someone screaming and yelling about it on the radio that you're not to do that so the cops heard it and Garth was the one screaming and yelling

Know what I'm saying is it goes against Mac and he's part of the program and that b****** is doing stuff for Tommy f

Biden

I hate to correct you but Garth is usually dirty all around he's a pig and filth

Zues Hera

I got to hear this but I do see what you're saying he's got an angle for it so you got the cops after her and they arrested him and he saw him too there with the radio which is illegal he's been doing it for years poking into the channels and saying stuff they arrested him for today he's going to jail and there's tons of charges on him and I don't want him back here and I don't want her back here so I'm firing her it's about damn time if you're a papa you're not one of these pop-ups nook cases I do agree with you not his last sentence with him and I do agree with you saying

Biden

You also white and we see what you're doing it's kind of a tricky act and these people come along and they're huge assholes they're all heading up North I think it's Chris's kids probably is as soon as smoking cigars waiting for you to come so they can smoke you. Tommy f says you want to fight we're up here both of us are waiting for you come on down

Mac

[guiltgoreglory]

Heat Waves (Chapter 2: An Ego Check)

(Very) Brief Summary: Reader is a government contractor joining the team in Benghazi.  (Eventual Tanto x Reader) (2626 words)

Chapter 1

Tagging: @abitofpablo​ @kimburgss​ @ceyruh

You watched as the dust clouds trailed behind the buggy. The rest of the trip you all sat in silence, taking in the events that had just occurred. When you saw the base from a distance you decided it was safe to holster your weapons. You wiped the sweat of your palms on your thighs as you willed your heart to slow down, and so it did. The second you felt back at equilibrium, Rone took a quick turn into the base. To no surprise, it was the most conspicuous looking place you could have imagined. You expected better from the CIA. Several armed American guards stood at the gate which was surrounded by obvious cameras. You rolled your eyes knowing that if anyone wanted to target us, it wouldn’t be hard. One guy even wore a New York Yankee’s cap. It’s like they didn’t even try.

“Check the new rides. Gaddafi had a going-out-of-business sale on armored vehicles…” Rone gestured towards the Mercedes amongst several other high-end vehicles. He whistled. Leave it to Rone to keep the tone light. “Max-leveled armored, man. We got a great deal… We stole ‘em.” Rone stared down Jack with the biggest smirk plastered on his face. He seemed extremely proud of himself for that one. You watched as a similar smile tugged at the corners of Jack’s lips. You behaved similarly, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a shitty joke. 

You gathered your things as the car came to a stop. Rone hopped out, throwing the keys to another man wearing a vest, “Sat unattended at the airport.” His stride paused as he watched someone from afar. You followed his gaze until you saw the Chief. This was definitely going to be something, you didn’t know what, but you could feel the subordination getting ready to bubble out of Rone. “Hey, Chief,” Rone called, nonchalantly, almost mockingly. The Chief looked like any middle-aged man who worked in business. Blue blazer, khaki pants, glasses, the whole shebang. His posture screamed superiority complex, you knew from the get-go you wouldn’t get along, not like it mattered anyway.

“I don’t want to hear it, Tyrone.” He called back, shuffling his way back into the building. Rone strutted towards him, duffel in hand. 

“No, no, I understand.” He turned his head for a moment, keeping out of the way of a car

driving past. “I see what you’re going for here,” he called, on the verge of yelling, “Secret spy base with fortified walls, gate cameras,” He fumbled to get his id badge in hand. “and blue-eyed Westerners! walking in and out of this place all day long.” He did a lovely spin for emphasis, pointing towards all the obvious Americans walking around the base. You followed close behind, knowing you were going to need to speak with him as soon as Tyrone was done tearing into him. “But if you want to avoid..” His words were cut off by the Chief slamming the squeaky metal door in your face. His voice dropped a decibel and he spoke, mostly to himself, “That’s so rude”. He placed his phone into the tray mounted on the wall beside the door, before scanning in his card to gain entry. “Can’t believe he just did that to me.” Your heart started to pick up once again. Nothing made you more frustrated than a cocky man being too good to have a goddamn conversation.

The door let out a loud buzz before Rone pushed open the entrance. “Chief, if you want to avoid an international incident,” He continued to track in the Chief’s footsteps, “you send me my guys when I ask for them.” Many of the agents sitting at their computers peeked up to watch the drama unfold. Some took a look at you, the new face, before returning to watch the catfight.

Finally, the man turned to look at Tyrone, squinting in disapproval like a man reprimanding his toddler. “Local faces need to resolve local conflicts, Tyrone.” Aka, your life means little to nothing to me; the incident was just a wrinkle in my daily schedule. He flipped mindlessly through papers within a manilla folder. Wow he’s so important look how busy he is. “We’re guests in this country.” You and Jack came to stand a few feet behind Rone, trying to stay close without poking the bear. 

“We’re unwanted guests, Bob.” Rone rebutted. He’s not wrong. 

“We’re spies, you’re security guards.. Your job is to keep us out of trouble, not get into it yourselves.” God, he’s pretentious. Rone flipped through some files pinned onto a pillar, looking through some photos of notable people of the region. 

“Well help me do my job and give me my guys.” He didn’t bother giving the Chief the privilege of his eye-line as he continued to search through the photos. You heard a buzz, and quickly turned to see the other members of the squad you were now a part of. Perfect timing. You made eye contact with one of them, Chris Paronto. Based on your prior research everybody called him Tanto, the mischievous one. Just then the Chief said some absolute bullshit.

“Here’s what you guys are good at: working out, eating five hot meals a day. What you’re not so good at is doing what you’re told.” God, he was so fucking proud of himself. Look at you little man, showing off your power in front of your team. You let a little of your annoyance slip out. 

“Ironic considering without us, everyone’s a sitting duck.” You whispered softly. The men all turned their heads towards you. Well, I guess now is as good a time as ever to get this over with. 

“Excuse me? And who are you? Some ex-army nobody who can’t let go of the glory of war?” 

Alright, time to rip off the bandaid. You stood a little taller, stepping closer to the Chief, just beside Rone. “Honestly... I’m someone out of your security clearance.” You said assertively. Jack shared a hesitant look with Rone.

“Bullshit.” He turned away from you, readying to remove himself from the conversation.��

“Alright, I think it’s best if we get a phone call over with now.” You dropped your duffel onto the tile, squatting down beside it. The armed men gripped their guns just a little bit tighter. The Chief stood, watching you confused. You unzipped the bag, reaching in to wrap your hands around a satellite phone. You zipped it back up but left it on the ground for now.

“I don’t have time for this.” The Chief began to walk towards his office as you stood, clicking a number on speed-dial. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. The director doesn’t like waiting.” You held the phone to your head, keeping a straight face. That definitely made him pause. He turned back towards you, squinting his little face up. 

“Director of what?” He sighed. 

“Director of the Central Intelligence Agency.” You responded casually as if you were telling him the forecast for the next week. You waited as the phone continued to ring. 

Everyone stood in silence except for one guy. Tanto leaned over to whisper in Boon’s ear. “Who the fuck is she?”

Finally, a voice came over the line. “Y/N.”

“Good morning, Sir. We have arrived at the location.” Everyone had their eyes on you, curiosity getting the best of them.

“Any incidents?”

“One en route to base. Resolved without violence. I’ll have a report to you within the hour.”

“Great.” He took a deep breath and you could hear him adjust in his chair. “I take it you’d like me to speak with Bob.”

“That would be appreciated, Sir.”

“Alright hand me over.” You took steady, calculated steps towards the Chief, holding the phone out for him to take. He gently took it from your hand. His eyes bore holes into the crevices of the tiled floor.

“Hello..” The Chief said tentatively. You stepped back, giving him some room. You crossed your arms across your chest, shrugging in Rone’s direction. You could tell he was living for this. “Yes, Sir…. I understand, Sir. Of course…. Goodbye.” He stood like a dog with his tail between his legs. He stepped back towards you, holding out the phone. You took it gladly with a polite smile. Pressing the phone back to your ear you concluded with a quick farewell before going back to put your phone into the duffel. As you squatted beside it, you looked up towards the Chief. 

“Are we good?” You said. You no longer wanted to squabble and your tone reflected as such. 

“Yes.” He said curtly, returning to his office. The second the door closed, the chatter of the room returned back to normal. You turned back to the men of the team looking at Rone expectantly. 

“Alrighty then.” Rone turned to walk towards their lounge and the guys began to follow. Tanto sucked in his lips, trying to stifle a chuckle. The burly man next to him, Boon, jabbed him in the side before moving towards the room. You waited for Jack, giving him a genuine, small smile before trailing behind. 

“Well, that was fun.” Mark Geist, also known by the team as “Oz”, stated monotonously, walking into the room as he disassembled his rifle. 

“He gets his jollies pushing around alphas because he can.” John Tiegen. Called “Tig”. He’s the brains. The first one to be stationed here. You stood in the corner watching as he placed his things into his cubby. 

“We had this commander back in ranger school, he was a real cockbag…” Creative insult. Tanto began to remove his vest as he narrated on. You figured you’d be here for a minute so you pulled the straps of your cello case off of your shoulders placing it onto the floor, along with your duffel. Now that you were within the compound you took off the hijab, throwing it on top of the luggage. You flipped your head forward shaking out the matted hair before you pulled it into a bun. It was a mess but it did the job.

“So on our last night, me and a buddy, we stole his beret.” He placed his vest down on the table before plopping down onto the worn couch. “Whole barracks chubbed it.”

“Chubbed it?” Boon replied, his tone made you think he really didn’t want to know, whipping out his knife to fidget with.

“Yeah, rubbed our dicks on it.” Tanto replied, the widest smile crossing his face. He looked like the Cheshire cat as he reached for the gaming controller. You coughed, stifling your laugh before your face turned quizzical. He turned back towards you, noticing your reaction before giving you a quick up and down and returning to his game. You sauntered over to Jack to join in the awkwardness of being new. You tuned into Tig as he was beginning to talk work to Rone. He leaned forward over a desk that Rone was sitting at. 

“Leader was a former Gitmo detainee.” They scanned the rugged laptop, you presumed that they were looking for who you’d tangoed with this morning.

“Yeah, those guys usually don’t hold a grudge.” Rone said in his usual sarcastic tone. 

“Hey guys,” Oz’s voice pulled you from your concentration as you turned to face him with a friendly smile. “Mark Geist, Oz.”

“Pleasure.” Jack went to shake his hand and you followed suit.

“Ah guys I’m sorry.” Rone spun on his office chair to face the rest of the crew. “Everybody, this is Jack Silva. It’s our third contract together so he knows the drill. We met training SEALs at Coronado.”

Tanto turned back for a second. “How do you get them to balance that beach ball on their nose?” A few chuckles could be heard from the guys.

“It’s tough.” Jack’s shoulders relaxed slightly, letting himself become more comfortable around his new team. 

“And this” He gestured his hand towards you. “is Y/N. She’s uhh..” He paused for a split second, trying to find the right word to describe you. “black-ops and apparently has the government at her fingertips so she’ll probably be of use.” You smirked, nodding your head towards the guys. Rone rose from his spot, spreading his arms across the room. “So we got three ex-Marines here and one ex-Army retard who likes to rub his dick on things.” Tanto stood proudly facing you two. 

“Kris Paronto. Call me Tanto.” You both shook his hand. You found Tanto’s demeanor amusing, and much to your dismay, his confidence was undeniably attractive. Despite the tall crowd, he still somehow towered above them. You shared eye contact for a brief moment before turning towards Tig. Although he felt easy to get along with, you hoped his casual demeanor didn’t affect his work. In your experience, the joker usually got people killed. Despite this, what you had researched, he seemed to be doing alright so far. 

“Hey. I’m Tig.” He waved towards you two.

“Tig’s been here the longest, so he’ll get you up to speed on the area,” Rone said, stabbing a red pin into a map. Looking in more detail you noticed it was the location of your incident. “This is Boon. Scout Sniper, Zen Master, Holder of Tanto’s leash.” He pointed to the man sitting in the sturdy armchair. 

He looked up from his lap. “Welcome to Club Med.”

“It hasn’t rained since June. It’s not gonna rain again until September.” He walked right up to you two strolling past slowly. “You two will be double-bunked. Not me, because I’m in charge. Gym sucks,” damn “food’s actually good.” Lose, win. 

Tig walked to the center of the room, a few feet from the three of you. “Base Chief is kinda a tool, but who knows, maybe now that you’re here he’ll be moderately tolerable.” 

You shrugged. “No promises but if he gets too snippy I’ll whip out the phone again.” 

“Maybe he just needs a new hat” Jack quipped. Tanto looked up from the TV to point appreciatively at Jack. 

“Don’t encourage him,” Rone said as if talking about his puppy.

“Come on. He’s just a guy with a job to do.”Oz said. Based on the dynamic he was the dad of the group. Honest, serious, tough-love type of guy. Makes sense given he’s the sniper.  “He’s playing his string out, but if you talk to him, Bob did some shit back in the day.” You’d heard it a million times, some badass joins the CIA works his way up until he’s practically just a desk jockey with a power problem. Didn’t gain him any sympathy from you.

“Alright, Jack, Y/N, this is the whiteboard that’s gonna run your life for the next sixty days.” You looked over the various points of the board as Jack made his way towards the couch. Given the limited space you preferred standing just behind, leaning your hip against the back. “I want you to check it every hour cause last-minute moves pop up every minute, such as... where shotgunning it in three hours.” Everyone in the room except you, Jack, and Rone let out an audible groan of annoyance. Tanto slapped his controller onto his lap, looking up to the ceiling. Before concentrating back on the game, he looked at you. You took this opportunity to raise an eyebrow in his direction given his childlike reaction to the news. He responded with a strong but blank stare. You rolled your eyes slightly, breaking eye contact to pay attention to Rone. You were used to being dispatched on the drop of the hat, acclimating to the schedule here probably wouldn’t be too much of a pain.

“Three hours. I’ll let you know when I’m briefed.”

[athrialuxegna]

Stronger than she thinks Part 3

Triggers warning: mental and physical abuse, violence, swearing

Click here to listen to the song used in this chapter, it’s Antidote by Faith Marie. (I love this song so much!)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

Fanfiction | Archiveofourown | Wattpad

At 5 a.m I get up and leave my apartment. My feet drove me to the leaders' quarter. I felt out of place in this dark hallway. I walked up to door 655. I stood there, looking at the door as if it would come to life and eat me alive. It opened itself and I almost thought I did it by using telekinesis. I was almost disappointed to find Eric on the other side.

"What're you doing here so early?" His rasped voice indicated that he just woke up.

All I could see was his head and a glimpse of his naked torso. I could have waited a few minutes before coming up here. I chastised myself to keep my eyes from wandering along with his defined muscles. I cleared my throat and scratched my neck, my eyes fixated on the door handle.

"I came here because I want to report to Max. Brent ran into me yesterday and... and he'll do it again I'm sure of it."

Eric didn't say anything, he made a sign for me to wait. He let the door slightly open and I heard shuffle around the apartment. He came back fully dressed then he let me in. I stepped inside the large apartment. As usual, all doors were closed. I stood still in the middle of the main room. Eric turned to me.

"Coffee?" He asked.

"Sure." I accepted.

I sat on the couch, twirling my fingers in an attempt to calm my nerves. Eric came back with two cups, he gave me one which I took thankfully. I took a sip of the dark liquid, it burnt my throat in a comforting way.

"What did Brent say to you?" The question made me grimace although I knew it was coming.

"Four found me to tell me that he and you saw what happened from the control room."

Eric's body tensed up at the mention, he opened his mouth but I beat him to it.

"I ran off and bumped into Brent. The bastard wouldn't let go of me, he thought I'd ran into him on purpose to... fuck him." I spat the last part in disgust. "Now, tell me why you didn't inform me that two persons have seen  my rape?" I asked, my voice held all the betrayal I've felt since I'd known.

Eric sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes in a tired motion. I couldn't pinpoint why I was feeling so damn bad that Eric lied to me. Sure it was pretty big information that he kept from me but I knew it was deeper. He was the only one I confessed to. Hell, I didn't even understand why I told him but it implied that I trusted him enough. It felt like an eternity before I heard his deep voice again.

"I didn't want to let you know not to scare you away. It was easier if you'd confessed yourself." He explained plainly.

"I don't stand lies, Eric. Even minor ones can have disastrous consequences. The cold hard truth is better to know no matter what." I said more harshly than intended.

"I didn't lie to you when I said that I won't do anything about this without your consent. I had to play fool around Brent, it was hell not to punch him until he bled out." He admitted.

I was surprised that Eric would talk about how he felt with me. We had regular contacts, nothing out of work until last week. Something had changed between us, some sort of untold agreement that we could rely on each other more than professionally.

"One more lie and I won't trust you anymore." My voice was firm.

Eric nodded sharply, agreeing that no more lies would come out of his mouth. A casual silence settled in while we were sipping our black coffee. I needed to drink this or I'd faint in Max's office. I was content that we sold that trust issue before getting in the lion's den.

"What are you doing tonight?" He questioned out of nowhere.

I wasn't sure how to reply or how to take this. So far, I'd doubt that Eric would be one to take advantage of the situation. I raised a questioning eyebrow, my grip on the cup tightened ever so slightly. Eric's eyes flickered to my hands then plunged into my emerald orbs.

"A friend of mine has a band, they have rehearsal tonight. You should come." He elaborated.

I had a hard time imagining Eric's friends. He was mostly alone or with colleagues when I crossed paths with him. I nodded quietly. I was too awestruck to utter a word. A small smile crept upon his lips, enlightening his gaze. A knock at the door broke the peace in the apartment. The leader took a second before getting up. He knew what was going on apparently. Four came in view, a worried expression all over his tense face. His eyes found mine, a shadow crossed his dark eyes.

"Eric, we have to do something about this." Four's voice was nervous as he poked his head in my direction.

"I'm well aware Four. Chris just accepted to report this to Max."

Eric's demeanor had changed. His body was tensed, his jaw clenched and his eyes threw daggers. I was aware of their rivalry, the reason for this male show was beyond me though. They always were at each other's throats. The tension between these two was practically unbearable.

"No, Brent did it again." He said sternly.

The words made my blood run cold. I jumped up and walked to stand in front of Four. My eyes searched him for any sign of lies. Finding none, anger took the upper hand. I also felt guilty for some reason. Maybe if I hadn't run into him he wouldn't have gone after another girl. I shoved Four to be able to run out of the apartment. I had to find Brent and beat the life out of him. My brain numbed all emotions aside from the pulsating rage. I knew where to find him. I barged in the training room, panting and fuming.

Brent stopped in mid-push-up to look at me. A seductive smirk crept up his face. I stomped towards him and took advantage of his position to throw my foot right into his head. The cracking noise of his nose and his scream just fueled my wrath. I took him by the collar, my eyes burning with hate as I stared at his pained face.

"I'll kill you motherfucker!" I yelled in his face.

I punched him over and over. I couldn't stop myself, even when blood started to pour from his mouth and nose. His face was covered with it. All my pent-up emotions were thrown at him. The loud doors banged open. Heavy footsteps echoed in the room. I continued to punch Brent's unconscious body. Large hands wrapped around my shoulders to stop me. I wriggled in the unknown grasp, afraid that Brent's friend came to rescue him. I hadn't even checked the area, few Dauntless members had stop training to look at the commotion.

"Stop it, Chris!" Eric's stern voice made me stiffen.

He dragged me off Brent then let me go. I was panting, hair wild and eyes wide opened, I must've looked like some psychopath. My eyes darted to the ground when I saw the disappointed looks of Max, Four, and Harrison. Everyone gave me that look lately. Shame invaded my brain, my cheeks burnt from the sudden surge of emotion. I had been carried away, and sure, I'll pay the price.

"Christine, an investigation will be open. The other victim had already pressed charges against Brent. He will be judged by Dauntless law. You're off duty from now on. Your behavior will not be held against you seeing the circumstances but this is the last time you beat up a fellow Dauntless member." Max's voice boomed.

I looked at him and nodded. My breathing and my beating heart had calmed down. I was devastated to no end, but they didn't have to know that. Harrison wanted to say something but Max made a sign for him to take Brent out of the training room. Then the elder leaders took their leave. Eric stood still, his hard gaze burning a hole in my skull. I dared a glance in his direction then sighed. My bloody hands hurt me, not as much as my shattered ego.

"I told you to fight me not to kill Brent. Chris, you're running down the wrong path. Max won't forget this incident even though it's understandable. Don't let this bastard ruin your life."

I couldn't utter a word, I felt empty and full all at once. Eric's presence prevented me from breaking down once more. My wet eyes met his blue ones, disappointment evident in his irises. If he turned his back on me I had no one else to rely on.

"I'm sorry," I finally whispered. "I didn't intend to do this... I couldn't stop myself..."

"Meet me in the Pit at eight tonight." He said then turned on his heels.

Relief washed over me. He still supported me. I went back to my apartment to wash the morning away. I ate lunch at my place. I played the guitar all afternoon. It kept my mind at ease. I began to find some lyrics to put my feelings into words. It was harder than I thought to write a song. My efforts finally paid but one string broke in my fingers. I headed to the Pit to find the music store.

Music was a huge part of Dauntless. It didn't seem at first but every pretext was good to party. It was odd to think that Amity and Dauntless couldn't stand each other as they shared similar rituals and common interests in musical arts. I looked at the racks to find the right box of strings.

"Chris!" Gary's voice called me.

I turned around to see him by the counter, he was waiting for customers. I waved at him, took the box I was looking for, and headed to him. His short green hair stood out from his Dauntless black attire and his big brown beard. His slim figure seemed even frailer behind the big counter. Gary was the musical expert of the compound. He knew all music history from the beginning to nowadays. I used to hang around his store for hours to custom my guitar. It was only a few weeks ago but it felt like ages.

"Hey, Gary!"

"It's been a while since you've come here, sweetheart. I'm happy to see that you're playing again." A smile beamed on his face and his eyes sparkled with joy.

"Yes, I needed a little break.," I replied lightly.

"Can't wait to hear you play sometime. And I heard from a little bird that you have a nice voice to hear." He remarked, giving me a wink.

"I'm not good enough to show my skills but I'm working on it. This little bird lied, I sing in the shower but that's it." I replied casually.

"Your fellow initiates always brag about your singing skills, honey. It's more than just shower gibberish."

It was true that I had sung my ass off in the dormitories showers during my initiation. My fellow initiates didn't stop me so it became a habit. They would praise me and ask for songs from time to time during parties. They were the only Dauntless to have ever heard me singing. It was for fun mostly and to let some steam off during those stressful days.

"Alright, I'll think about it, Gary." I smiled at Gary.

The conversation ended up here, I paid and looked at my watch to see that it was seven-thirty. I had time to eat before meeting Eric. I went to my apartment to drop the strings' box then headed straight to the cafeteria. It was not full so I found a sit at an empty table. I ate with little appetite. My eyes scanned the half-empty tables nearby. Jenna and Kate were nowhere to be found. I sighed deeply. Were they ghosting me in return?

Someone sat next to me. I turned around to see Four. I rolled my eyes and resumed eating as if he wasn't there. I didn't want to talk to him. We ate in silence for a while.

"You shouldn't have done that." He blurted out.

"No shit, Sherlock." I scoffed. "If you're here to lecture me, it's not the time Four." I didn't even look at him.

"I don't judge you, Chris. I understand more than you think." His voice became quiet.

I remembered the rumors about his abusive father, Marcus Eaton. It was different in many ways but I guessed the traumatic consequences were similar. We were both destroyed, broken, and beaten. I could also talk to the other victim, she could entirely relate to my experience. However, I felt uncomfortable around Four. We fell in silence once more. I finished my plate and get up. Finally, I looked at him.

"Thanks, Four. But I don't want to talk about it."

I didn't let him time to respond and turned on my heels to put my plate away. It was nearly eight. I walked to the Pit. Life was buzzing around, Dauntless members were laughing, fighting, and hanging around. I smiled at the overwhelming energy. It made me feel alive and a part of something big. A large figure in my back made me turn around. Eric stood there, his Dauntless attire had changed to a more casual outfit. He wore a button-up shirt and black jeans. I bit my lip at the sight. Eric smirked at my reaction.

"You didn't tell me we had to dress up," I remarked casually.

"My leader's attire has been ruined today. I was at the Child Care service, it turned out pretty messy." He explained with an amused tone.

I raised a curious eyebrow. I almost forgot that Eric ran the Child Care service. It was a place where abandoned children and orphans were raised and taken care of. Picturing Eric with children made me laugh inwardly. The tough leader's image would be shattered into millions of pieces. I wondered how he was with the kids. I didn't think Max would approve if he treated them as initiates.

"I wish I was here to witness our ruthless leader handle children." I laughed.

"You don't know those children, they're little devils sometimes." He muttered under his breath though a small smile grazed his lips.

It was weird to see Eric look fond of children. A man appeared next to him, clasping a hand on his shoulder, a broad smile on his lips.

"We're about to begin." He said cheerfully.

He had intense dark green eyes, it reminded me of the pin forest I had seen in my geographic books at school. His imposing figure matched Eric's even though he had slim muscles. His face was round like one of a child, he had crooked teeth and seemed younger than Eric. The leader turned to his friend and nodded.

"Sure Lex, we're coming."

"The famous Chris, pleasure to meet you." Lex turned to me and bowed before me.

"Famous?" I asked dumbfoundedly.

I feared someone had already spread the word about my rape. Lex laughed heartedly at my wide-eyed face.

"Nothing to worry about, I'm Josh's friend. He praised your singing skills so much, I couldn't stop him." He explained, his big smile always on his lips.

My cheeks turn a dark red at the mention of singing. Eric's eyes locked on me, I could feel his intense stare. I laughed nervously and shrugged my shoulders.

"Oh, well, it's been years since my initiation. I can't believe that anyone remembered this."

"Just so you know they all miss your voice." He winked at me then walked away.

"So you sing."

I turned to Eric, fiddling with my fingers.

"Sort of, I sang in the shower all the time during initiation. It kept me sane from stress." I admitted.

"Interesting." He muttered more to himself than to me.

We entered a secluded bar where a makeshift stage had been set up. The band was already in place, testing the sound before playing. There were few people, some I knew like Josh, Matthew, and Grey. All three were in my initiation class. As soon as we step into the room, silence fell. All eyes turned on us. Eric sent them a look and they all came back to their conversations.

"Chris, it's good to see you here." Matthew greeted me.

"Hey, guys" I smiled at the three men.

They had got stronger and they became real Dauntless men throughout the years. They were in the same patrol squad, real brothers. They came from different families that had been friends for years, they grew up together and didn't part ways at any point. Same as Jenna, Kate, and I. Eric stood next to me, hands in his pockets, not paying attention to the conversation.

"There's free time after the rehearsal, anyone can play on the stage. I hope we'll see you up there." Matthew said enthusiastically.

"Don't count on it, I'm not quite ready to sing outside dormitories," I replied truthfully.

"Maybe you'll change your mind." Grey retorted optimistically.

When the trio had an idea it was nearly impossible to take their mind elsewhere. I rolled my eyes even though a small smile found its way on my lips. Lex called everyone to get attention.

"Let's go!" He shouted.

Music blared through the speakers around the stage. Vibrations surged through my body. Eric placed a hand on my shoulder, I flinched a little at the sudden contact. His eyes narrowed and he seemed thoughtful. I didn't really fear Eric, but I couldn't help but react badly to all physical contact.

"You want something to drink?"

I nodded in response then he disappeared at the countertop to order something. Music always eased my soul. My body moved slightly to the beat. I couldn't bring myself to go party last Friday because Brent would be here. Now there was no way for him to found me. I hoped he was rotting in a dirty cell in the depths of the compound.

Eric returned with two drinks. I took a sip, alcohol burnt my throat and I felt light-headed. I wasn't a drinker, I preferred to smoke but it was taboo in Dauntless. Many smokers would go on the roof or at the train racks not to be bothered. Zeke and Uriah Pedrad were notorious to sell weed nonetheless, leadership didn't mind as long as it didn't interfere with the faction's balance.

It was pleasant to let go. I began to dance once my drink finished. Alcohol intoxicated me. Eric joined me at some point, after his fifth drink or so. We were close, closer than ever. Our eyes were connected and couldn't let go, his large hands on my waist kept me against him. I lost track of time. The music came to a stop and we both quit our odd trance-like connection. I adverted my gaze to the ground and distance myself from Eric. When I glanced back at him, his eyes bored a darker tone. The same one Brent had when he was over me. Images flashed before my eyes. Unable to control the flowing memories, I clenched my fists and shook my head to get rid of them.

"Chris?" Eric called.

I needed to expel all of this. The trauma, emotions, memories. My body moved to the stage, all eyes were on me. I sat at the piano, my fingers caressed the instrument lightly. Jenna taught me to play a long time ago. I felt alone in the room to focus on my desire to pour my heart out. I began to play notes, I knew the song by heart. I opened my mouth and my voice filled the room.

“Finding refuge in my own lies How are you? I'm doing alright Small talk is a great disguise Just let me be Just let me be

Empty thoughts start to crowd my mind Am I only living, living to survive? Shake it off but I've lost the drive Just let me be Just let me be

Let me be okay

No one knows what goes on up inside my head There's a new kind of poison and it's starting to spread No one knows what goes on up inside my head They don't think I need help But I'm scaring myself

I just want to be okay I just want to be okay

All the voices in my head are coming to life They're getting louder and I'm, I'm terrified How do you run from your own mind? Is this what I've become? Take it back, what have I done?”

The last notes died in the silent room. A round of applause erupted from the little crowd. Josh, Matthew, and Grey were thrilled by my showcase. I found Eric's eyes on me, he knew all too well that the lyrics held some truth. I get up and walked out of the bar. I wanted to be alone. Alcohol had worn off during my performance. Emotions ate at me again,. They wouldn't let me enjoy life as I used to. Memories haunted me whatever I did. I walked to my apartment then went up to the roof. I spent the night smoking and gazing at the starry sky.

[unironicduncanstan]

Total Drama Music Camp AU - playlist / performance ideas

here she is,,,, the cursed secret texts,,,,, the total drama music camp playlist , along with some short explanations below, cringe city bitch (most of these are just covers that i feel are the closest to the performance Style id imagine for these characters and not necessarily the exact sound but u feel me) also i went back and tagged my previous posts abt this concept with “td music camp au” so if you dont know what the helling fuck im talking abt plz have a gander xoxo

link: youtube .com/playlist?list=PL-bPcaq3ZK2L682RHPauxrsFIPvGJdsiM (space is there so tumblr hopefully doesnt nerf me from the tag 🥺 )

Some Nights - ok so first weeks challenge. i feel like chris would just want them to all collab together on one huge group performance. kinda like on the first day of school when they make you do the ‘get to know you’ tests. idk exactly who would sing what parts tho bc there are so many so let your imagination run wild !!

Hand crushed by a mallet - ok. OKYAY. im a home of sexual. but this is a Cody, Trent, Tyler, Harold and Izzy song. Cody is on vocals (especially the rap in this version shdofsgjsk), Trent is on guitar and some vocals (does some back and forth with him during the rap), Tyler is on drums (and does that one tiny background screamy bit towards the end), Izzy and Harold are joined up on creating the background track and DJing the whole thing. the distortion/choppy part at the end is izzy LIVE going ape on the audio level sliders. its one of the most energetic performances of the whole series and surprises everyone including the group themselves

Misery Business - Duncan on vocals and guitar, Geoff on drums, Trent also on guitar and maybe some backup vocals. you all know i chose that bc i love associating mgk with duncan but. i rly like this idea actually ;;

Paparazzi - ezekiel. idk who the fuck else except maybe justin bc he’d dance that shit to death. i will not apologize thats Him and its fire but you may write and send any formal complaints to my po box. ill roll a blunt with them,

Pom Pom - Lindsay, Heather, Sadie+Katie, and Izzy. Lindsay and Heather are on vocals, sharing the chorus and each getting a solo verse, and ofc izzy does the weird rap part towards the end, and most of the background track. they all thought they were stuck with izzy but izzy is stuck with these preps. Sadie and Katie are on backup vocals, but their role in this one is mostly dancing and adding ✨ stage presence. 

Maps - Trent is on the guitar and male vocals while Courtney is on the female vocals (the ~top two performers~ gotta have a song together eventually right), DJ on drums, Bridgette on piano. Heather, Lindsay, Justin, and Leshawna are dancers bc lbr the dance from the video is pretty good for a group number

CREEPER? AW MAN - ok this one. is kind of a joke but wouldnt it be rly hilarious if cody, ezekiel, and harold did this one mostly for fun and the whole second part with the existential breakdown was just. used with on stage satire to make fun of chris for being old or smth. like would they suffer that week, yes, would it be worth it, Y E S, 

Shatter me - Eva, Courtney, Gwen, Beth. QwQ Eva’s on vocals for the first time and rocks it, Courtney is on violin, Gwen on drums, and Beth uses her instruments to make a background track before the performance so she can do stage tech/DJ stuff. oh also justin should be on this one bc i want. those costumes from t he vi deo, 

Chop suey - Lindsay and Courtney on vocals (LMAOSJFkSF listen. we love contrast queens that stun the crowd), Duncan on guitar, Eva on drums (and a lot of background screaming to help the Vibe Tee Em)

Unwritten - Leshawna and Trent? ik its a weird combo but i think they’d kill this

Shake it - GEOFF LMFAOGHJKgjfdG

White Winter Hymnal - Lindsay as Kirstie, Noah probably as Avi even tho we all know he can’t sing that fuckgin low. and idk my other 3 bros as Cody, Tyler and Ezekiel. truly iconique group

Forget me too - QWQ DUNCAN AND COURTNEY ,,,,,,,,,,,, i dont apoloigze for the second mgk = duncan pick, anyways duncans also on guitar, gwen on drums (there is no love triangle in this au btw. the only reason theyre singing this song is bc of the regular ~tension~ that u see in like tdi but its just for the stage mostly. as soon as the songs over they would hug and cheer abt it)

Simple and Clean - Bridgette on singing, Gwen on piano, DJ on drums, Beth on general stage stuff + creates the backtrack with Bridgette's harmonies overlayed

Mr. Brightside - OWEN ON THE BRASS YES BBY ITS HIS TIME 2 FUCKIENG SHINE, Geoff on drums, Gwen begrudgingly on piano, Noah is on vocals and they have to literally bribe him with everything they HAVE to get him to try and sing this way. and he does it and it aint too shabby but he will never do it again

Domino - Leshawna on vocals (again these choices are all, based on general vibe and style and not necessarily voice, this is a tiny white girl singing,), Tyler on drums, Duncan on guitar. energy to the max babey the speakers are gonna blow the fuck out on this one

Starships - KATIE AND SADIE GET TO BE A MAIN DUO !!! they alternate lines , with courtney on violin, izzy on that synthy backtrack, and justin is involved in this one bc id change just a couple of things abt the music video costumes for these characters but like. [grabby hands] gimme

Bulletproof - ezekiel vibes.....? izzy and harold get to team up again for the backtrack. weird kids only karaoke night

The Wolves And The Ravens - 🥺 a geoff and bridgette songk,,,,, 

Never Enough Praying (Mashup) - Courtney on Praying, Heather on Never Enough, Beth and Izzy end up together on the background stuff and make a rly nice track actually

Gasoline - bitch. you know what im gonna say but duncans on vocals, Tyler on guitar, Geoff on drums, Ezekiels on track

Better not wake the baby - Noah gets to sing a song that actually matches his style a tiny bit better lol, DJ on drums, Trent on guitar, and i feel like beth is the only one with any hope of figuring out the accordion keyboard thing thats in the background

This is Gospel - Gwen on piano and Trent on vocals. really the music video is the most important part for me bc i think a challenge where oyu have to sing a really intense emotional song while chris gets to dump shit down on your head from the ceiling of the stage. sounds perfect,

Wildest Dreams - codys on vocals bc god i am Obsessed with this cover being a bisexuality / coming out song . everybody thinks hes just regular simping and being his usual fuccboi self when he chooses this song till he gets to those Very Intentionally Unchanged Pronouns that he sings a little too enthusiastically hhhshHDSHHHSDH , also DJ on drums and Tyler on guitar

Happier - Bridgette solo ! 

Stay - Courtney on guitar and vocals, Dj and Harold are on the hand drum shit. once again i live for the ‘unlikely group actually works together and rocks it’ stuff. courtney as always has talent and enjoys what she does but harold and dj kind of steal the show with how in sync and energetic they are abt it lmfaodghd

[screamting]

Wonder Woman 1984 spoilers.

I feel like WW1984 suffered from a lot of the same editing issues that WW 2017 did, but with only enough content for a 90 minute movie. It's only 10 mins longer than the first movie, but it feels like it goes on for much longer, and part of that is a lot of superfluous scenes that could've been cut or done differently to tighten it up, and made themes a lot more apparent and maybe have fewer confusing messages. (Again, not 'complex' messages, just confusing.)

For example: the opening scene is beautifully shot and whoever is doing the 'from below as Diana runs over rooftops/poles/etc' shots? Amazing, change nothing. But also the opening scene is pointless and doesn't really tie into anything. They try to shove in something about 'the truth' when they really should be like 'this is a competition, don't cheat.'

But also a competition is not what Max is trying to 'win.' He just wants it to be 'his turn' to 'win' at... Liiife? They make a couple attempts at "we people who have been beaten down deserve to have something for ourselves finally, and you've never had to want for anything diana so you don't get it." And like, they're right ish? Diana's left her homeland behind and lost a lot of people, but as far as we know she's only really ever been surrounded by kind people out to help her, and didn't really have to worry about money or survival as she either existed outside of society's rules or she kinda slid her way in over time.

That's not saying she hasn't struggled and that she doesn't care, but she doesn't have the same experience as Max or Barbara of being abused and physically powerless. They are right about that. They also are starting a nuclear war and I feel like Diana can say "correct but also literally you do need to stop" and still come out pretty spotless morally. "First of all yes you're right but also if you just replace the oppressor with yourself then you are the oppressor now; yes that man needed to go but also you beat him near death and left him in the road, that's not cool"

I think maybe her time without powers might’ve been more effective too if it was clearer that the tradeoff wasn't "my powers are what's most important to me" as much as "my powers are what give me the power to protect and being able to PROTECT people I love is what is most important to me." Like, she has Steve back, but he almost dies like 3 times immediately because she doesn't have powers.

(Also, Diana, goddess of truth and shit, please face the fact that if Steve stays alive you are committing a homicide on his body's previous inhabitant. At least MENTION that he's body snatching and that definitely is something they should try to fix somehow. Maybe have it weigh in during the conversation about renouncing her wish-- Steve is dead, and also his bodyhost is alive and they have no right to kill him like this. What if he had a family? They're lucky no one recognized him or called him in to ask why he wasn't at work. Unsolved mysteries: the disappearance of This Dude Who Doesn't Even Get A Name At The End To Remind Us Of His Personhood. Imbd lists him as "handsome man." Talk about a slab of meat my guys.)

So Diana, even though she still has a comfortable enough life, loses her powers for about a day and it woild be very funny for her to be like "ugh I hate not being able to DO THINGS SO EASILY and my shoulder hurts I was shot" and chris like "lol yeah sorry I also miss feeling that extra safety layer around you" and it's not exactly "humbling"(???) as mentioned in the opening scene, but it is a reminder of what it feels like to nit be the strongest person in the room. Maybe that's where a flashback to Themyscira would have worked well, where she's eager to prove herself and outclass everyone but she has to be reminded that even though she's special even among amazons there's still like.. I don't want to say great power comes great responsibility, but maybe ‘we would love you even if all you did all day was stare at the sand and even then you would be precious and protected,’ but also that is a gift the amazons are giving her, because when they were enslaved in the world of man, they saw no love or protection given to those who needed it most. Maybe just, sometimes you don’t lose because you ‘deserved’ to lose. Maybe you just slipped and lost it all.

Maybe the film ends with Diana being Othered again, like how in the first movie she is clearly a goddess and showing magical stuff for the first time but she has her posse. In this one she's alone at the end but a little more able to connect with the little things. It's already sort of there with that very saccharine ending, but again, more explicit might be better.

For scenes that would just tighten things up and get us moving along though:

cut Maxwell absorbing the crystal. Diana figures out what happens later and in the meantime is confused what's happening. We can join in on that mystery.

Cut every kissy thing by at least half

No unnecessary park scene. The homeless man is a nice hint into Barbara's like personal life I guess, but ultimately it doesn't really do anything, and the rapist dude just takes up space honestly. Like, she could kick the ass of any of the catcallers and just roundhouse kick them into a pole and go "huh." Creepy smile. End scene.

Mall scene useless. Vigilante diana confusing and useless. Open us up immediately with Barbara being bullied and Diana appears as a savior first thing in the movie. FBI raid still happened and they just have rocks and shit. Diana still hesitant about contact with people but Barbara is so obviously in need of a friend she kinda saviors herself in again. Gets a clingy friend but also someone who maybe is able to appreciate Diana's archeology feelings.

I don't remember anything that happened in the museums but agree Steve should see the air and space museum, but maybe it would've worked better if one scene he just shows up decked out head to tow in NASA merch

That is NOT how flying works but I'm gonna be honest I think they didn't need to go to Byalia/Egypt(??) much at all. At the very least the car could’ve swerved into the town as a crisis instead of having the kids in the road to be saved. Diana feeling bad after being hit by a humvee would indeed show more clearly than the bullet-- we don’t know if she is or isn’t bulletproof because she’s deflected all of them before. She doesn’t do any extra superstrength before. She doesn’t seem any less powerful than earlier in the movie. It ends up trying to ‘show’ but instead it ends up NEEDING to be told later on.

I can go either way on this I guess, but the plane section can be... At the very least shortened. Coffee cup joke was good tho.

Acceptable answers to "how do fly?"

"Flying is easy, it's landing you have to worry about."

"Aim for the ground and miss"

Ultimately WW 2017 was a war movie that happened to have a superhero in it, amd WW1984 was a superhero movie that had trouble finding where it's plot had to go I think. With World War One, like, there's stuff to say and talk about automatically, but in 1984 it feels a bit like they knew mutually assured destruction and how it was ultimately real bad as a strategy and if we all just agreed itd be... Fine? I guess? Again, unless you go to a specific incident there's not much to say about the cold war except 😬

Patty Jenkins and Geoff Johns both got into their teenage years in the 80s so it's totally possible they were going off personal memories instead, but it definitely had some trouble translating onto the screen I think.

There is some good stuff as well, it's just getting to them while buried under all the other stuff mostly. Pedro Pascal did extremely good at making me hate Max Lord Immediately. Steve Fashion Show was fun. "Topaz is such a lame rock lol". Kristen Wiig is holding this movie together more than anyone else and it's great. I like how her becoming an Alpha Bitch doesn't mean she immediately hates Diana but still wants to be her friend and be seen by her. The entire "You seem like you'd be out all the time and like never go on ever" sounds a LOT like a closetedness conversation.

There is a lot of good stuff in it but it's just... Not what the first one was. I think probably the constant delays on release didn't help the hype at all. They went powerful sappy at the end (gooshy feelings? In my wonder woman movie?) which I understand theyre trying to make Diana a hero who doesn't murder the tiny earthlings over stuff... But I am also left just kind of wondering if everyone's memories were erased with the nukes or if the cold war ended VERY differently in the DCEU, and I am far too distracted by that to think about how people are good at their core and stuff. It just feels like it brings up lots of things, and decides that if they have enough emotions, it's fine to brush them aside.

[celmation-gibson]

The First Drawing to post for this New Decade, and it's the Best of the Movies that I've seen in the Cinemas, and one I've heard of for a while. So here are some Favorite Characters of mine that were fun to Draw, along with the Reviews for the Films.

Missing Link - My First movie to see in the Cinemas of this Year, and it's another Laika Classic, and despite being a Box Office flop, It did receive some very Good Reviews from Critics, and even my Foodtown Boss' Grandchildren saw the Film on a Thursday(?) and they Loved it, so I figured I give this film a watch, and I was amazed at the Final result, An Amazing sight to see that some Folks out there don't know what their Missing. It was directed by Chris Butler, who was co-Director of Laika's other projects 'ParaNorman', and it had an Amazing cast such as Mr. Zach Galifianakis (Felix of 'Bob's Burgers' & Lego Joker of 'the Lego Batman Movie'), Zoe Saldana(Avatar, Gaurdians of the Galaxy), & Hugh Jackman (Van Helsing & Wolverine of the live-Action 'X-Men' films). And once again, the Folks of Laika really did some good Work & Commitment in Making this Film, especially when I loved the Film's settings & Landscaping, and the Action Sequences are Phenomenal, especially in those Action sequences when the Ship rotates with the People in it when it was Struck with the Storm's Big Wave, and How Suspenseful it was when the Characters are dangled into Ice blocks or big icicles, and how shocking on how the Villains' defeat of Lord Piggot-Dunceby, his neurotic right-hand man Mr. Collick, and Bounty Hunter Willard Stenk were killed in Cold Blood, cuz I knew that that Ice Bridge in the Film was gonna Break in a Sequence. Plus there were some Cute Humor in the Film as well, especially after when Mr. Link/Susan Roared at a Dog during a Bar Fight, and after a Moment of Silence, the Dog just attacked on of his Men and the Bar Fight continues (that's when most kids in the Auditorium laughed at that part), and how Susan literally thrown some Objects over the Wall. And I'm always fascinated with Cryptozoology creatures such as Bigfoot, Abominable Snowmen, & the Loch Ness Monster, even when they make me think about that 1970's film entitled 'the Mysterious Monsters'. And even if the film was Distributed by United Artists (a Subsidiary of MGM I suppose), it's kinda Weird now now that it was released on DVD and Blu-Ray from 20th Century Fox, even after Disney's Conquest, but can we still call ML a Non-Disney film, even if some MGM films are being released by FOX under a Contract?

Godzilla: King of the Monsters - Well me and my dad certainly love Giant Monster movies when we were Young, and I certainly remember renting every Godzilla movie on VHS back when Blockbuster was still around, and we certainly enjoyed that one 2014 'Godzilla' movie, unlike the 1998 Matthew Broderick one, so we decided to give this new kaiju movie 'Godzilla: King of the Monsters' a viewing pleasure, not to be confused with the 1956 Americanized 'Gojira' movie starring Raymond Burr. And i gotta say that it was an Epic Thrill-ride of our Lives, even the monsters we were familiar with were Amazing, Godzilla being all greatly Huge and Buffed-up as always in the USA, Rodan looking a-little Sinister lookin', Mothra playing out like the original 'Mothra' movie, starting off as a larva hatching from her Egg, then Evolving into a beautiful Butterfly-like Moth, then King Ghidorah was so Menacing in this one, and being like Lizzie in 'Rampage', he was such a "Pain-in-the-Ass" character, even once being Nicknamed 'Monster Zero', either that Nickname was also used in Japan, or used for one of Ghidorah's old film appearances in the US, that was double-billed with 'War of the Gargantuas'. I even like how they referenced some stuff from Warner Bros. & Legendary Films' 'Kong: Skull Island', as that films along with the 2014 Godzilla, and this Film are all in the same Universe, Monsterverse that is. And how surprising that there are other Kaijus in this Movie that I'm not even certainly familiar about, like that one Arachnid-like featured titan, or the Giant Ape Body/Mammoth Trunk beast, or another Muto(?), and I am wondering if the Demolished Boston at the end of the movie is gonna be the new 'Monster Island'. The human characters were good, I mostly like every member on the character Dr. Mark Russell's team, they seem likable, and the Cast was great, even after looking at the film's Poster befor we went inside the theater, I saw the familiar name of Thomas Middleditch, the same man who did voices in 'Captain Underpants' & 'Bob's Burgers', doing a Live-action role, and while writing this review, I've discovered some other actress who starred in this film include Sally Hawkins, who starred in the previous 2014 Godzilla movie, and also in Guillermo del Toro's 'the Shape of Water, and the woman playing the daughter in this film, also played in 'Stranger Things' as Eleven. And also I love on how the film as a Newer Version of Godzilla's approach-like film that was used in the old films, and even the end Credits have Cover version of Blue Oyester Cult's classic hit 'Godzilla'. And one of the Film's story plot is Fascinating, like how this Earth was once ruled by Giant Titans, until us small Humans have taken over while most of those Titans went Extinct and hiding in the Earth's Spirit.

The Secret Life of Pets 2 - Well, Illumination has done it again, as it Amuses me once before with 'the Grinch', 'Despicable Me 2', 'the Secret Life of Pets', & 'Sing', they have released a Sequel to my Favorite Secret Life of Pets movie that I saw in theaters back in 2016, and now have it on DVD. And when I heard that the Original voice for Max got replaced with a Guy I know of who has a Great Career in Animation, I was like "Whuuut?", but even after reading what Happened to that one Guy, i figured I'd give this Movie a Watch, since I'll like Patton even more. And I gotta say, this Sequel does have some Cute and Lovable moments in the Film, and those Subplots in the Film are Wonderful, leading up to a Story on how to save a White Tiger cub from a Wicked Ringmaster (voiced by Funny voice man, Mr. Nick Kroll(Sausage Party, Sing, Captain Underpants). And Snowball is more luvable in this one as he is in the first Film (Kevin Hart is so Wonderful!), even teaming up with a Cute/Funny character such as Daisy, a Shih Tzu voiced by Tiffany Haddish (who just did a guest voice role in 'Bob's Burgers'). Also with a Cute story on how Max & Duke's owner fall in Love with a Fun Gentleman and have a Kid together, and I love how the Dogs raised the Boy up, by helping him to Crawl & walk, and have Good Animal Instincts, which makes me think that what if my Sister & her Husband had a Pet Puppy that could be a good a Good Companion to my Little Layla niece. And some of the Parts in the Film have Good humor in it, like did I just heard a Cow say "Rat Turd" in front of an auditorium full of Young children? Plus Mr. Harrison Ford(Han Solo in 'Star Wars' & Indiana Jones) was great as a character named Rooster, who tries to Man/Brave up Max and a few characters, after Max has devoted his Life to Little Liam, which led to the Funny Collar on his head. And I'd figured there was something Familiar about that Young Lamb Cotton's voice in the Movie, as he is voiced by Mr. Sean Giambrone, the voice of Jeff in 'Clarence' & Shermy in the 'Adventure Time' series Finale.

Abominable - Well, Dreamworks has done it again, a new film from a Creative Team was made and about to be released soon, and when I saw the Previews of it for the First time, I thought I wasn't too interested in it, especially with the humorous Blueberry gag parts. But after a while, and see that if it looked cuter as Dreamworks' previous film 'Home(2015)', I thought I give it a go, and hopefully it look way better than that one Weird-Looking film in 1995 called 'to catch a Yeti' starring Meatloaf. But for the 'Abominable' film, since the Movie was getting Good Feedback from Reviewers and Viewers, I was Lucky to watch the Film for myself. The Characters were Cute and Funny, almost like the ones from 'Home', especially with Ethnic Protagonists. And the settings and Designs of Asia in the Open Fields, Forests, and Cities are really nice, wishing I could visit and/or live there. And the Great story is like an E.T. Extra Terrestrial thing, expect that the Heroes goes with the Creatures on an Adventure of a lifetime to bring back the Creature to his Beloved Family that they Tried to protect from any threats what's-so-ever. And there are some Amazing plot Twist among the Villainous Characters, like just when you thought the villain was actually an elderly Man who has been hunting Mythical creatures for rewards, but it turns out that the True Villain was actually a Nerdy Woman who thought was a seemingly-gentle Scientist just doing what's right for the World, who almost Barely looks like a geeky version of Kari McKeen of Disney/Pixar's 'the Incredibles', and when she let down her Hair, she may look like a Devious version of Merida of Disney/Pixar's 'Brave'. The Effects in the Movie is Super Nice & Super Awesome, especially in the Yeti's Humming effects, some Action Sequences, and that one moment when the Heroine's Father's Violin broke, the Yeti fixes it by using his own Hair for the String replacements, and I know from that Moment, with Yi's Musical skills and the Yeti's Powers combined, and when the Hearts are Full, and the Heavens are listening, Magic is bound to happen. And for the one other part when the Heroes are Gazing into the Stars, they say that the Stars could be our Ancestors watching over us, and that if we don't see any Stars in the Sky, there will be always there for us, almost like even if for some Folks lost their Love ones, they will always be there, even if we can't see them. But I'm glad i enjoyed the Movie, and I know that some Tween kid group enjoyed it as well, laughing at some Funny Parts in which i enjoyed, sometimes with the Woofing Snakes, "WOOF, there it is, WOOF, there it is".

the Addams Family - Well, a another Fantastic new Animated feature has been made, and it's based off of what I remember from my Childhood, cuz I do remember watching the early 1990's Live-Action movies of the Creepy Family starrring Christopher Lloyd and Christina Ricci, before I knew who some of the Actors were, and I remember the Animated Hanna-Barbera Kooky series on Cartoon Network a while back, even making a Spooky Guest appearance in 'the New Scooby-Doo Movies', but I haven't watched much of their old Ookie Live-action series, and the Family I'm talking about is 'the Addams Family'. And I've read a while back that an Animated CGI feature is gonna be released soon, and I knew back there that that would be interesting for me to see, so I've waited several months for the to be released in Cinemas, and I finally got a chance to do so. It was a Fun and Entertaining movie, and surprising it was made Directed and made by the same team who did the 2016 R-rated Animated film 'Sausage Party' starring Seth Rogan & Kristen Wiig, and the Character designs for the Film were to be based off the old design from the Original Addams Family comics in the old days, and with modern help from Mr. Craig Kellman(Hotel Transylvania, Madagascar). And the voice cast is amazing, we got Mr. Nick Kroll(Captain Underpants) voicing Uncle Fester, Chloe Grace Moretz(Kick-Ass) as Wednesday Addams, Finn Wilfhard(IT, "Beep, Beep, Richie") as Pugsley Addams, Charlize Theron(Kubo and the Two Strings) as Morticia Addams, Bette Midler(Hocus Pocus) as Grandmama, Snoop Dogg as Cousin Itt, Elsie Fisher(Despicable Me) as Parker Needler, even the film's co-director Mr. Conrad Vernon as Lurch ("YYYOOOOOOUUUUUUU RRRAAAAANNNGGGG?!", LOL!!!), a priest that presides over Gomez and Mortica's wedding, the spirit that haunted the abandoned asylum that Gomez and Morticia move into (who often threatened them to get out, much to the family's delight, which i find those Parts to be entirely Hilarious, even in the Theater's Booming Stereo), and Dr. Flambe, a Devil-like relative of the Addams family with fire-like abilities. And the Film's Story is very cute, even with the Film's Opening Scenes on the Origin story of the Addams Family and their "Creative Differences" with other Societies, and it gives me some Good comparisons with Sony's 'Hotel Transylvania' as Creepy Creatures who have lived through the Centuries and Years soon get into Modern times and how other people dealt with Beings like the Monsters of HT and the Addams Family and their Clan. And it would be nice if my Parents were watching the Film with me in the Theaters, cuz during the Film's Ending, me and the people in the Auditorium got a chance to sing-along with the Film's Theme Song, and everyone was Snapping their Fingers to the tune. So If you wanna celebrate Halloween in a Great and Wonderful way, I think that this film is for you, and for all you Goth, Emo, and Young-at-Heart Artists out their who would love a Creepy Treat, and just can't wait to get it on DVD. Klaus - To come clear, I've heard about this movie, and I've even seen some Pencil Tests of it way back then, but I've actually never seen the whole thing, or catch it in a Selected Theater, but I really did see the Film's Trailer. And I would say for a 2D, Hand-Drawn, Frame-by-Frame, Animated feature, these people tried to Improve something for the Classic Animation with their Coloring and Shading type Technique, and even though It's a wonderful Improvement, I wouldn't expect some folks to use this kind of thing more often for Future Celmated Features. As for the Voice cast, I already know who Mr. J.K. Simmons is, but I was surprised to read that the voice man for Mr. Jesper Johansson, is also the guy who played the Villianous Gideon Graves of 'Scott Pilgrim vs. the World' movie.

And sorry if I didn't catch 'IT: Chapter 2' like I did with the first one, But I'm hoping o see some more clips of it online. And I Never had interest in seeing the 2019 'Child's Play', though I still like Ms. Aubrey Plaza & Mr. Mark Hamill. And I had no interest in seeing 'the Angry Birds Movie 2' since I'm never a Big Fan of Thurop Van Orman's creativity. And lastly, I didn't felt like seeing the 'Spies in Disguise' movie ever since Disney's Horrible Conquest of the whole 20th Century Fox media.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Episode #100 Highlights!

That’s right: 100 EPISODES. That’s a lot of great questions, greater answers, questionable pronunciations of usernames, even more questionable uses of overlays, and a++++ excellent dogs. 

The entire cast is answering questions this week!

Max runs an (adorable) intro in the above puppet theater, and each cast member gets a title. Laura is The Heart, Sam is The “Funny Guy”, Travis is The Brawn, Liam is The Actor, Matt is The Brains, Marisha is The Face, Taliesin is The Pyramid, Brian is The Convict, and Ashley is The Favorite.

The cast’s entrance is majestic. There are balloons, sashes, tiaras, and champagne. Henry has a tiara too!

The Search for Grog will air this Friday, February 22 at 7 PM Pacific on twitch.tv/criticalrole. If you miss the stream, it’ll be available Saturday morning on CR’s YouTube channel!

Talks Machina and CR will air on CR’s official channels starting today! Starting next episode, TM will be available on CR’s YouTube channel on Thursday at 7 Pacific, and also in podcast form!

Stats: in 100 episodes of TM, there’s been 81 episodes of Brian’s glorious beard. There have been 9 Skype/FaceTime call-ins! There were 244 guest misnomers before that well ran dry. 93 episodes of pre-show hijinks (thanks to Max James!). 95 episodes of Arsequeef. 826 days of being on the internet!

Brian: "The concept of creating a talk show about a D&D campaign has always been absurd to me, so we wanted to embrace that terribleness.”

There’s now a Steve Cam (quietly reading, meal prepping, and ignoring the show), and a Zach Cam (staring at a monitor that’s all just Liam’s chest hair and the Fjord bust), and a Max Cam (dancing in a stripper cop outfit), Lockey Cam (practicing with a sword in front of a mirror and then charging at Daniel for filming it - Brian: “Hopefully Daniel’s non-union.”), Ed Cam (drinking scotch and counting down the days until football returns, and also lint rolling his new goatee), Chris Cam (rapping in the VO booth), Brittany Cam (dancing with a unicorn blanket, huffing compressed air - Brian: “You can’t show that on Twitch!”).

Matt is asked how his DMing style has evolved with campaign 2. “Well... I’ve been forced to embrace a little more of the tragedy in the characters’ backstories.” The internal and external conflict has been really interesting for him to watch and react to. “I’ve learned to be very proud of my players for mucking up my perception of where things are going to go.”

Coming to Xhorhas, Nott’s thrilled to no longer have to worry about the mask. Sam’s excited about the City of Beasts “to see what kind of fucked-up individuals we’re going to find and seeing how Nott will react to that.”

Yasha definitely sympathizes with Nott trying to save her spouse, but “there’s a lot going on with her going back to Xhorhas. It’s definitely triggering for her, but she understands the need to want to go back. I wish I could go to Xhorhas. We’ll see what happens.” Travis: “I’m pretty sure once we go to a place we can never go back.”

Favorite item on the Talks shelves? Taliesin mentions a magnetic Percy mini, Sam likes the tiny Sams (”It looks like my bedroom!”), Ashley and Brian are partial to the Sully painting, Laura loves the Pike painting, Marisha loves all the stuff the cast bought on a hungover voyage to the flea market when they were first building the set, Matt loves a very cool dice tower. Brian likes the Vecna with Marisha’s face. Matt: “I don’t know if I like that one.”

Laura doesn’t like the party using the derogatory term for the Krynn, because she wants people to be happy even if she doesn’t know them. Sam: “I haven’t been the best for that, but if Jester wants me to... I guess I’ll change.”

There are new wipe transitions featuring the Matt pillow and the Fjord bust. It’s glorious.

Gif of the week: Sam calling Travis “studly” for catching the candy. Laura: “...I like that I’ve been cut out of it completely.”

Arsequeef gets the Lifetime Achievement Award for Gif of the Week. He wins Max’s 2006 Honda Accord.

On Caleb taking off his bandages because there’s nothing to hide anymore: “Was that terrifying for him, or a relief?” Liam: “Yes!” He’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it feels good. He’s got f...r...iends?” Marisha: “I love that sitcom. (weakly) F...r...iends?”

Caduceus being a source of comfort, insight, and advice was built into the character. Taliesin looked at low INT high WIS, and Matt immediately started laughing and told Taliesin he’d do well with that. Taliesin: “There’s plenty of things that will eventually flap that, but we haven’t hit them yet.”

As a player, Travis doesn’t like to weigh things carefully all the time, so a lot of Fjord’s leardership has been a bit about pressing fast-forward. Marisha: “So what you’re saying is that your Grog’s poking through.” Matt points out that if both characters have a trait, it’s probably just Travis. 

Liam: “I’ve got a little Travis poking me from behind.” Marisha, musing: “So many conflicting beards...”

Beau’s prayer to Ioun mostly came from a “couldn’t hurt” perspective. “I’ll try it out. Give it a spin.” When Travis asks, Marisha clarifies that it was Ioun specifically because of the Cobalt Soul. Travis: “Oh yeah, I totally knew the relationship there. I just wanted to make sure the audience did.”

Bugbear friend or bugbear foe? Sam: “He speaks goblin, he seems cool, his name’s Gluzo. He has a hard-to-pin-down accent, but it’s amazing.” Taliesin: “You have a hard-to-pin-down accent, too. It’s something you have in common.” Taliesin gets asked if his insight check revealed that the bugbear is secretly pretending to be someone else. “Yes, he’s just pretending to be a bugbear. He’s actually Matt Mercer.” Laura: “I like him. ‘Cause he’s cute and he let me give him a tattoo.”

Sam: “Nott trusts her friends to be as strong as they can be, and at this point, I don’t know if she’s as concerned with one of them dying as just getting to her husband in time before he dies. If we lose one along the way, Nott will probably cry a little, but will move on.” What if it were Fjord? “Fjord’s expjendable.”

Matt: “I’ve reached a point where Travis controls Yasha in combat, but I don’t consider any of his roleplay canon.” Ashley: “I trust Travis. Barbarian respect.” Laura: “Don’t give him that.” Ashley: “Travis himself is like a Deck of Many things. This is risky, but it’s kind of fun!”

Sam: “That dunamancy shit is lit.” Liam: “And it’s tied up in everything that Caleb wants, so if he can get on the entropy shit and the gravity shit, you know he’s going to go back in time, motherfucker.” Sam is so excited to have these mystery spells because they’re so new, and they’re inherently something they don’t know how to counter or prepare for. Travis: “It’s almost like every time we play D&D.”

Fanart of the Week: a spectacular group shot.

Everyone freaks out over how good Travis looks with glasses. He takes them off and puts them back on sexily for a while. I was too slow grabbing a screencap, but don’t worry, the gifs will be everywhere.

Laura: “Jester hasn’t experienced a lot of emotions. She hasn’t experienced a lot of anything, really. She’s definitely dealt with sadness in her life, but I don’t think it’s been so in-your-face constantly, just the trauma of it all.” Liam: “Yeah, she’s with some very terrible people.” Laura: “While it is traumatic, it’s also been a great adventure, and she’s enjoying being out and doing things. Even if it might hurt her, it’s so much better than reading about it, drawing it, just imagining how it would be.”

Caleb’s still feeling out the shift in his relationship with Nott, but there’s no question that everything they’ve gone through can’t be forgotten or overlooked. “He sees her as an absolute ally no matter what, and will do anything for her. In a weird way, he feels like they’re even more alike than he thought they were, and he loves her and wants her to succeed in what she’s doing, and hopes that the things that he wants don’t fuck it up entirely.” Sam: “Are you talking about Liam and Sam right now?”

Caduceus’ thoughts on Xhorhas? “A new environment, certainly, and a new aspect of nature that he’s unfamiliar with. This is just more terrain to him at this point. He’s also very unaware of the political realities. He’s vaguely aware there is war. He’s still not sure why we can’t just go up and ask for directions from everyone.”

Brian: “That tiara is the most blessed image.”

Travis on the Captain Tusktooth tattoo: “Brand recognition is huge in Xhorhas.” Taliesin: “Viral marketing.” Laura confirms that it’s not likely to change apart from some small differences from tattoo to tattoo. “Each person gets a special google.”

Laura on fans actually getting this tattoo: “I am ALL ABOUT IT.”

Marisha: “Guys! How about instead of M9 tattoos...” Sam: “We let Laura tattoo us? I would legitimately be down with that!” Ashley: “I’m kind of into it.” Liam: “This is what splits us apart.” Laura: “Everybody gets a dick.” Travis: “How would we explain that to our kid? ‘What’s that?’ ‘Your mom did that.’”

Beau is holding back a bit since her impulsiveness started having negative repercussions. “I think it’s about accountability. She’s started to learn--- especially when she first joined M9, she didn’t have friends, really. I think you had to learn, oh, my actions do affect others around me. I think that’s something you can learn and you can grow in, but yeah, she is trying to not be a total fuckwad anymore. Trying. But old habits...”

Favorite TM moments? Travis: “Do you remember that episode where Brian wasn’t the host?” Brian remembers Travis throwing the card that almost took him out. Ashley fondly remembers PullOutKing. Laura remembers Taliesin saying the phrase “I love teenage assholes” (referring to Percy acting immature), and Taliesin is super glad someone brought that up again just when the tweets were finally starting to die down. 

Ashley talks about how proud she is about how far Brian’s come, and how great he’s doing at this. Everyone has an uncharacteristically sincere moment of applause for Brian. Liam: “Everyone take 30 seconds to drop the bit that we think you’re a total fucking weirdo. You’re so good at this, and you’re such a good friend, and we’re so glad you’re part of this family.”

Marisha pitches the idea of trying to sell TM syndicated on LifeTime now that they have 100 episodes.

Brian remembers having food poisoning that led to him running off-screen, throwing up in the middle of the show, and then having to come back. Marisha remembers Travis texting everyone that night with “lol, did Brian just yarf on TV?”

Matt talks about how proud he is of Brian for going from zero tabletop experience to co-running his own game.

Talks Machina After Dog ft. Sleepy Boi Henry

“This is the best dog-petting show ever.”

Liam was skeptical about TM initially, because he was worried it would take away from what would be shared in-game. Marisha: “I was stoked for it, not gonna lie. I was very misunderstood and people hated my character, so I was kind of stoked to just get to explain it.” Travis was sold once they picked the name.

Marisha: “It also set the precedent for really dumb, punny names.” Brian points out that, as a channel, they now can’t stick with serious names as their final choice.

Laura’s sister has been watching the show, and she texted Laura after the show to ask what the whisper was, so Laura’s going to tell her and no one else. Liam: “You’re gonna tell your real sibling?”

There’s a horrified discussion about giraffe fighting. Some segues happened in there.

What’s something their characters have done that’s made them proud? Liam: Caleb using the Wall of Fire. Marisha: the Plank King execution episode as a whole (everyone agrees). Travis: “I was proud of hooking up with an NPC when my wife wasn’t here to threaten me with death.” (he immediately turns to Taliesin: “Help.” Taliesin: “No god can help you now.”) Taliesin: “I sunk a boat.” Laura: Proud of not getting caught with Nott in the Platinum Dragon sanctuary. Sam: Taking the blow for Jester so she could escape. Liam: “Molly showing his dick covered in eggs.”

Matt: “I’m proud of you guys not entirely descending into evil madness. I’m proud of the character arcs of being broken, terrible people, and finding out that it’s okay to be broken; you’re not necessarily terrible.” Liam: “The entire cast went, ‘He’s talking about everyone but me’.” Matt thought it was going to be very hard to keep the group together, but the party turned it into character growth moments. “I’m proud of you.” Laura: “Thanks, Dad.”

Yasha loved the arm wrestling. “Oh man, it’s so fun to be the tank.”

Laura: “I’m really proud of us for saving Kiri!”

Everyone has Liam’s chest hair:

Wishes for the next 100 episodes? More Ashley. 

Brian: “I hate this coffee table more than anything in the whole, entire world.”

What’s something that should never change about the show? How ridiculous it is, the barrel, Dani. Also always have a dog. They fundamentally do the show for themselves, still, and that’s made it a really good environment for them to open up about the show and their characters.

Liam: “There’s a lot of beauty to what we do, but it’s also inherently silly. And to deny that is silly.”

Matt likes that it’s unpolished and imperfect. “Things are going to go wrong regardless, and you can either get angry and frustrated about the lack of control, or you can embrace it.” Sam: “None of this is real anyway.” 

Brian points out that this is not an excuse to stop paying him.

And that’s a wrap! This is the last After Dark for a while, but there are some big ideas in the works for the coming weeks!

[doomedandstoned]

Conan Bring Cold Blackened Violence to France

~By Clem Helvete~

For the penultimate show of a European tour that lasted over a month, CONAN played the Westill Festival in Vallet, France. For the occasion, I reached out to Jon and asked him if him and Dave (who was playing bass on this tour) would have a minute to answer a few questions. Although they were both quite tired from a month of hopping from one city to the other, they still managed to make time to talk about the tour, Blackskull Services, guitars, pedals, and amps. We nerded out about gear for a bit, right before Conan went on stage and literally blew up the PA. And I literally mean literally...

So, how did the tour go?

Jon: We’re two shows from the end now, and I could probably still go on a few more shows. I’m a bit tired but we’ve been out a whole month. We’ve been to fifteen countries or more all across Europe. So, it’s been good.

Dave: The tour was great. I haven't done anything like this for 25 years when Fudge Tunnel was touring. The whole thing was fine though, well organised and we had Un and Sixes from the USA along on all but the last two shows so we all made a lot of friends.

Dave, how did you end up playing bass in Conan to occasionally replace Chris?

Dave: I got to know Jon a little via Facebook, as he's a big fan of my old band Fudge Tunnel. Last year he asked me if I fancied filling in on bass for a couple of shows while Chris got married. That went OK, and he asked me to do a few more shows that Chris couldn't make due to his producing commitments. Then earlier this year he asked if I could do a whole four week european tour. Chris and his wife just had a baby, so I'm like "maternity cover" this time out.

Does it bring a different vibe to Conan to have Dave on bass?

Jon: It is a tiny bit different and it’s interesting. Dave and his band have alway been idols to me, so being on stage with him is really great. We’re very comfortable playing and working together, and we get along great. So, it’s brilliant.

You toured with Un and Sixes, which are two bands who have releases on Jon’s label, Black Bow Records. In addition, the whole thing was booked through Blackskull, right?

Jon: I released the first Un album on CD and digital and I think Translation Loss has picked them up for the subsequent release. I distributed Sixes’ more recent album in Europe.

Between Black Bow records, Blackskull Services and Conan, which is a very active band, how do you manage all of this?

Jon: With some difficulty, but it’s fun. I enjoy it, so I keep busy with it. I don’t do everything on my own. Blackskull is myself and my other half, Sarah. There are other people who work within Blackskull, who do the booking. On this particular tour Marie, who does some of the booking with Blackskull, handled all of that. So I can’t take any credit for that really. The tour is going really well and that’s because of Marie, really. She’s been really good at booking everything.

You basically started the booking agency and the name Conan has gotten some momentum, to say the least, over the last few years. It feels like you’re giving back by helping smaller bands.

Jon: I always get asked for advice, and I’m not an expert on everything by any means, but there are a lot of ways that you can help bands get over some of the hurdles, particularly in the early stages. That’s really why it was set up, just to help bands move forward. Obviously there are more serious aspects of what we do, such as negotiating with labels, booking tours, all the transactional things that we do. But on the other hand, we’re here for advice and guidance. I wish I had someone like this when Conan was starting out. There are certain things that we probably wouldn’t have done if we had the correct advice. So you can pass on your experience to other bands and we decided to make a business out of it.

Can you tell us about the bass and guitar you're using in Conan?

Dave: Up until this tour I had been borrowing Chris's Dunable Thunderclapper, which is a beautiful instrument. Conan plays in drop-F and his bass was custom made with that in mind, longer scale etc. As we were going away for a lot longer this time I put something off my own together. It's a P-bass body which I stripped down and re-finished. I put in a DiMarzio DP122 pickup and upgraded the wiring. it has a Gotoh bridge which I set back an extra inch to lengthen the scale. The neck is a fairly cheap jazz style thing which I got on eBay. To make a bass that plays in drop-F you need to use extra thick strings, Rotosound Dropzone+. The thickest string is a 175 and it still flops about and slaps on the fretboard.

I believe Jon started out playing Gibsons and then moved on to EGCs for a while, is that correct?

Jon: The first guitar I started using in Conan was by a British company called Gordon Smith. I had an SG and I recorded the first two albums on that. Over time I’ve used different guitars, I used to have an early ‘80s silverburst Les Paul custom. It’s a beautiful guitar but I didn’t really like the way the strap is bent at a sharp angle the way I wear it. There was once or twice where it actually popped-out of the strap pin. Not cool on a guitar that’s worth about £2,000. Around that time I had an Electrical Guitar Company all aluminium, which is a bit trendy I guess. They are great instruments, but I didn’t want to have two guitars that are worth so much money on the road. I sold that and I ended up noticing Dunable Guitars from Los Angeles, so I bought a couple from him. I have a Dunable R2, I have a Flying V, and I have another guitar that’s being made for me at the moment. It’s like a reverse body clone of a Guild S200. I’ve always loved the shape of this guitar, but not necessary all the switches that are on it. So I wanted that shape but with something more traditional in terms of options, just two pickups, tone and volume.

What about the scale?

Jon: These are not baritones, they are Fender scale [ed. 25.5”]. I’ve always had the Fender scale. The Gibson Les Paul obviously isn't a Fender scale, and the Gordon Smith was also a Gibson scale [ed. 24.75”].

Do you find the Dunables more comfortable to play due to the scale or is it more of an overall thing?

Jon: I find the overall comfortable enough and they hold the tune a little bit better.

Which is important since you guys are way down-tuned.

Jon: Yes, we’re dropped tuned to F. So it’s important that the strings are tight enough so they sound clear enough when you’re playing. So, that little bit of extra length on the neck definitely helps.

What string gauge do you use?

Jon: The bottom one is a .8 and then I go through to 14 I think. Right now I’m using Ernie Ball heavy gauge strings. They do an 8 strings set, which goes from 80 to 11. I use the first four wound strings and then I don’t remember what the 2 thinnest strings are. I don’t really worry about changing them because I don’t really use them when I’m playing. The other day, I replaced all my strings and just did the first four because they’re the only ones I use, like a poor man’s Max Cavalera.

Dave, I assume your rig is a bit different from what you were using in Fudge Tunnel. Are you trying to get close to Chris's sound or are you really just going for your own thing?

Dave: In Fudge Tunnel I used a very different sound. Much more top end, and standard tuning. So I mostly used Marshall solid states or Ampeg SVTs with Fender Jazz, Musician or Rickenbacker. When I play in Conan, I try to make it sound good to my ears. Chris is a producer and has much better ears than me, so it probably doesn't sound the same. He also has a much better beard.

I believe you are using an Orange OB1-300 and QSC RMX 850a (I could be wrong on this one) both rack mounted. Can you tell us a bit about this pairing and how it came to be ?

Dave: My Orange amp is an OB-500, which I really like. It's ridiculously loud and a bit more reliable than a full-on tube amp. The power amp is there just to run the Peavey cab, which is a 1x18. It's Conan's cab, and it's just there for the low end (there's a lot of low end). As far as I know all the speakers are stock. The 8x10 is one that we bought on the road, towards the start of the tour in Copenhagen. The one we brought over was a little worn out, and I managed to blow three of the speakers (oops!), so we upgraded. All three bands were using the 8x10 every night so it had to be done.

I saw that the guitar rig you’re using on this tour is different from the one that you’ve been using for a while now. Can you tell us about your current touring rig?

Jon: Very early on in this tour there was a signal problem with it. I haven’t tried it since so maybe it was my cables. But because of that I’ve switched it to two old Peaveys amps. I’ve had these Peaveys in the studio for years now and I’ve never really used them, but I had to bring them out of retirement for this tour. I actually had them fully overhauled and serviced just before we started the tour. I must have had some sort of premonition or something, like I knew this was going to happen. I started using them in Hamburg, which was only the 4th or 5th show on this tour and I’ve got two shows left and so far it’s been good.

I have the Hilbish rig at home and I’ve got the Peaveys now that all of a sudden have caught my attention, but I’ve just taken delivery of a valve rig made of a separate preamp and a power amp.

Are you going back to tube amps?

Jon: I’m just going to try it and see. I’ve got another band, Ungraven, in which I want to run two full stacks with two 8x10s. For that set up, I’m going to run two full stacks with this new rigs if it sound good. It’s a Mesa Boogie Studio preamp, the same one that Kurt Cobain used, and that is going to be run into a Mesa Boogie 295 power amplifier. This is a stereo power amplifier and each channel is 95 watts. That’s all tube. I’m interested to see how that sounds, I think it’ll sound cool. Then I’ll use the Hilbish or the Peaveys through 8x10s. I’d rather use the Hilbish if I figure out what’s wrong with it. That rig could run two 8x10s very easily so that’s what I’d rather use.

What made you decide that you would switch from tube to solid state? This is not a very popular move within the doom scene.

Jon: On our last album I used the Hilbish rig in which I ran a Boss HM-2 clone. I’m not using that pedal live right now, but I’ve been using it quite a lot. I don’t really know why people would have an issue with solid-state. Some of the coolest albums were recorded and played live with solid-state amps. In Crowbar Kirk uses the Orange solid-state 100 watts head, Jimmy Bower from Eyehategod uses a Randall solid-state. Buzz from the Melvins uses the exact same Hilbish rig I have, it was through him that I’ve heard of this amplifier. I like the versatility of it, I love solid-state.

Speaking of amplification, do you have any issues with volume restrictions? France and Belgium are known for having fairly low limitations.

Jon: It has been an issue in some places. Yesterday in France we were a bit louder than they would have liked. It was around 109 decibels and their limit was 102 or 103dB. Some of the shows it’s a little bit of a restriction but nothing too crazy. We played at this place called Fundbureau in Hamburg, which is actually a techno club, and the PA in there is for techno. It was the most powerful PA we’ve ever played through. Our sound guy is good at making us sound good while respecting the dB restrictions, but when he’s let loose on a loud PA it’s awesome. The sound in this venu was crazy. When we were playing the floor and the stage were vibrating all the time. After the set my feet were tingling. I’m not sure if I enjoyed how it felt but it sounded amazing.

Gear is an important component of your sound, so how do you make sure you have the gear you want when touring the US or Asia for example?

Jon: In America we’ve got our own cabs and I’ve got two Hilbish rigs out there. Friends of ours in a band called Serial Hawk in Seattle keep all of our gear in a storage room. We have a bass rig and two guitar rigs out there. We have three 4x12s and an 8x10. So when we go in America on tour it’s all there for us. It costs us less than we spent renting gear on the first two tours. So it makes sense. Rather than spending a fortune renting it I’d rather have some consistency. A lot of bands use Orange amps, and they’re great amplifiers. If I ever have to rent it, I’d rent Orange for sure. I like owning what I use. I can maintain it myself and I know that nobody abused it a week before. Touring through Asia, we played Japan one time and I just used two Marshall JCM 900 full stacks and on bass we used an Ampeg and an 8x10. Australia and New Zealand we just rent whatever’s there. Last time we went over it was Marshall. But if we can specify what we use, we just go for a cleanish sound and two full stacks. So Marshall can do, Orange would do.

Basically a loud pedal platform.

Jon: Yes, my pedalboard comes with me no matter where we play, so I know that’s always consistent. For distortion I’m using a Fuzzthrone, which is a really high gain Big Muff. It works really well for Metal, it works really well for slow, drony parts. I’ve got it dialed in quite well. Although, when I change my strings it sounds a little bit brighter than normal, so the last couple of shows was a struggle to get the feedback swell the way I like it. As long as it’s a clean sounding, loud amplifier I can probably sound quite consistent through them.

So let’s talk about your pedalboard. You’ve worked with Dunwich Amplification for the Fuzzthrone, how was that?

Jon: It’s a Fuzzface stacked up on a Big Muff tone, but I just told him what my favorite sound was and he made it, but louder and with more power to push the amplifier a little bit more.

You tried out prototypes?

Jon: Yes, he sent me a prototype, then I used that and he sent me the real thing. Since then I’ve had three or four different ones and they all sounded the same. He’s a great pedal builder. Right now I’ve got a Fuzzthrone and I’ve got a Nihilist, which is an HM-2 clone. It’s the same pedal I use on the album. The one I use right now has a clean blend, I think it would make for an amazing bass distortion pedal. I don’t use the clean blend for guitar, though.

I’m guessing your pedalboard hasn’t really changed since what you showed in the video you made a few years back.

Jon: Yes, it’s the same thing.

c/o The Doom Doc (2017)

What about bass effects?

Dave: My pedalboard is pretty simple. I use a T-Rex power supply, MXR bass compressor, Boss tuner and a SansAmp bass driver. There's also a Boss Bass Overdrive just in case the SansAmp dies.

I saw on social media that you picked up Ground FX pedals. Are you using them on this tour?

Jon: No, when we played in Hamburg we went to my friend’s music store and we stayed just above it. This music shop is like a treasure trove. He has amazing instruments in there. I got to play on a late 60s Fender Jaguar and he’s got loads of cool Hiwatt, Orange, and Roost amplifiers. My friend Christian, who runs a festival called Droneburg, told me a friend of his made a couple different pedals and wanted me to try them. So I got one which is a bass distortion and one that is like a Sunn Model T preamp. I tried them out there and it sounded cool, but I wasn’t using my gear. So I’m going to try them once I go back in the UK and see if I can maybe use them on a record.

What piece of gear would you say is at the heart of your sound?

Dave: The modified bass is essential, along with unusual amounts of volume and drive. I wouldn't want to go "unplugged" in Conan.

Jon: Without a doubt the Fuzzthrone. I’ve been using that since Blood Eagle. I love how it sounds and it makes me play a certain way. It’s taken a new lease of life with these Peaveys that I’m using now, which I didn’t really expect. I love how it sounds. It’s a simple pedal and I have my sound dialed in so it stays pretty consistent no matter what amp I use it with.

You don’t play around much with pedals in studio then? Aside from the HM-2 clone on your last album, would you say that you don’t really stray from your sound?

Jon: I used the HM-2 clone mixed with a fuzz pedal. I didn’t use the Fuzzthrone on the last album at all, I used a Meathead [ed. by D*A*M]. I like mixing things up, maybe on this new album I’ll use the Fuzzthrone because it sounds pretty cool at the moment.

Is the new album ready to go?

Jon: Yes, I got some songs written. We just need to rehearse them a little bit and get them ready for the studio.

It’s impressive how active you guys are. It is something a lot of musicians can look up to.

Jon: It’s something I’ve always been interested in since my mid teens. Writing music has always been a goal of mine. Performing kind of took over and became a thing all of its own. I’ve never had any idea of what it would be like to go on tour, I’d never thought for a minute that we’d do that. We tour quite a lot, we’re very lucky. I don’t have a day job holding me back, neither does Chris. He runs his own studio so he’s flexible. Johnny is also very flexible with his work, so the three of us are lucky. It’s like the stars have aligned most of the time. When Chris isn’t available we can call Dave, which is great.

Thanks again to Jon and Dave for their time and for being so friendly and accessible after driving around Europe for a month. It goes without saying, but Conan played loud and hard and I’m very much looking forward to their next show in our neck of the woods.

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[romchomp]

Gilmore Girls: The Love Interests

This post might get a little lengthy.

In Gilmore Girls, there are four girls we get to see coarse through different relationships throughout the seasons of the show. As someone who recently finished marathoning Gilmore Girls and has a blog based on romance shows and anime, I figured why not talk about all these relationships the characters went through.

Rory, as our main character, will go first. Talking about the different boyfriends she’s had will be fun because her taste is uhhh pretty questionable.

Dean is Rory’s first boyfriend and hence, the first love interest. I think we can all agree he was the worst. He actually started off pretty good, if not a little boring. However, it doesn’t take that long for him come off as dramatic with some sort of anger issue. He almost always put his feelings before Rory’s. When his marriage fell apart he got upset with Rory and made it out to be as if everything was her fault despite him being the one who cheated. He generally became less and less pleasant as the show went on and even at his best he was just generic and boring and while nice, still not that good of a boyfriend.

The next boy Rory dates is Jess. Jess is a tricky one to talk to about because while I love his character and find him to be one of the more interesting ones in the series, I really don’t like him as a boyfriend. All throughout their relationship Jess treated Rory horribly. He was moody, never talked to her about anything, and never even seemed like he actually wanted to be in the relationship. They were constantly arguing and most of the sweet moments between them were Jess’s attempt to make up for some shitty thing he did earlier. I liked him a lot more when he wasn’t dating Rory. Season 6 Jess was great, and maybe if the show took the route of Rory dating him once again things would be different and I could say I liked him better the second go around but that’s not what happened. Bottom line is, he’s a better character than Dean, also probably had more respect for Rory and I’d say he understood Rory better than Logan did too, but god he was a really bad boyfriend.

Last but not least, there’s Logan. Who has the opposite problem Jess did. Despite him being a complete douchebag and a personality I found to be quite unlikable, he was a surprisingly pretty decent boyfriend. My opinion of Logan moved around quite a bit through the course of the show. At first, I hated him. The way he teased Marty and talked to Rory immediately put a sour taste in my mouth. However after Dean broke up with Rory (for the third time?) at her grandparents' party I realized that huh, I like the way he’s treating Rory. The way he tried to cheer her up felt very platonic. Was he already pining for her? Probably. But Logan never came across as more than friendly until he started very obviously teasing her when she was showing that one Chilton student around. Then there’s when Rory asked him why he never asked her out (because it was pretty evident they both liked each other at this point), and Logan’s reasoning was that he didn’t know how to be a boyfriend. By this point I like Logan. He respects Rory and wants her around even if only platonically because she’s special to him. However, cracks start to show. Rory changes a lot over the period of dating Logan. She changes a lot of things that were always a big part of her character like...not cooking and not exercising. Okay while those things were small, these changes in Rory made it a lot easier to realize that Rory and Logan don’t have a lot in common. They don’t even have common interests, not really. This made me start backtracking how much I actually like Logan and before I noticed Rory changing, I would’ve told you I think he made a better boyfriend than Jess. However, if there is one thing Jess has over Dean and Logan, it’s that he understands Rory better. Rory and Jess also just kind of clicked more. Rory and Logan followed the basic steps of being a good couple, but there wasn’t much that kept me wanting them to stay together or even like them together. They were just...there.

Lane

The only love interests you really need to remember for Lane would be Dave and her eventual endgame, Zach ( Zack? The internet can’t seem to make up its mind).  From my knowledge, the actor who played Dave ended up taking a role in another show thus bailing on Gilmore Girls. Which would explain the very weak “he got a scholarship in California” reasoning for why his character was suddenly disappeared. A lot of people seemed to like Dave more than Zach and I was certainly on that boat for a while myself but I gotta say, I started finding Lane and Zach a really fun couple to watch once Lane got pregnant. I really liked the scene where they bonded over not wanting to have the baby (in a mostly comedic fashion) and it was around that point it became clearer how much the two actually have in common. Somehow the two became more compatible after having twins. Go figure.

Paris

On to Paris...can we just forget that Tristan and Fleming ever happened? Joking, joking (mostly). Paris and Tristan never dated (thank god) and therefore were never love interests, but Paris’s hard to believe crush on him was enough to be sigh-worthy. There was That College Guy She Dated During Chilton That I Can’t Remember the Name Of who didn’t really do anything noteworthy. Then there’s...eighty years old Asher Fleming. Look, I could go on about how Fleming was way too old for Paris and how problematic their age gap is, but it’s 2019 now and I’m sure every Gilmore Girls fan has both, ranted about and heard ranting of it so I’ll move on. If there is one good thing I can say about Fleming, he gives us more of an idea of what Paris cares about when considering a romantic partner: intelligence. That’s about it, which also means she doesn’t really care if her relationship would otherwise be seen as weird. She probably wouldn’t even care if the person themself was deemed weird either. Which leads me to Doyle, in my opinion, the best boyfriend out of any of the boyfriends in the series. I love Doyle. He’s strange but charming, squeamish but also capable of being a leader, and genuinely cares for Paris. While it took a few tries, in the end, Paris found someone she made a perfectly odd pairing with. I mean hey, that’s how life usually works out I guess.

Lorelai

Now we get to Lorelai, who I think had the more interesting love interests. Despite that, I won’t be getting into Max and Jason because frankly, I don’t think anyone really cares about them that much. By around halfway through the show, it becomes increasingly obvious that the only two true possible endgames for Lorelai would be Luke or Christopher.

There’s a bit of a parallel between Luke and Christopher in the sense of how big of opposites they are. Where Christopher comes and goes throughout the show, always leaving an impact after leaving; Luke is a constant throughout the show, with some major moments but often just peacefully going along with the plot. While Chris is impulsive and rushes into things, Luke over thinks himself out of things. Lorelai’s parents hate Luke but they’ve always loved Chris. Christopher is immature while Luke is arguably the most mature character in Gilmore Girls.

I was impressed when I noticed just how lined up their differences were. I wasn’t something I expected from Gilmore Girls in all honesty.

I think most of us can agree that Luke was better for Lorelai. They balance each other out a lot better than Lorelai and Chris ever could. Luke and Lorelai’s differences were also manageable so long as they had good communication. Which they didn’t while they were dating and is why they ultimately broke up in season 6. Which brings me to another parallel: the marriages. Luke and Lorelai broke up because of postponing their wedding. Chris and Lorelai on the other hand, broke up because they had rushed into getting married. I could go on and say how Chris proposed to Lorelai in Paris, the city of love, while Lorelai proposed to Luke in his diner as well. The comparisons are all over the place.

The reasoning the show gives for Lorelai and Chris not working out is because “the timing was never right”  which I personally find to be bullshit. They were always too much alike to work out. I want to say I always expected and knew Luke would be who Lorelai ended up with but I’ll be honest, season 7 gave me a good scare. I still think their ending together was weak though.

If I had to rank who had the best love interests it would probably go:

Lorelai (she had the most common sense)

Lane (went from a nice, but slightly boring bf to an asshole who became surprisingly decent once they had kids)

Paris (two duds and a real winner)

Rory (her taste was very questionable)

You know, that is considering the canon love interests.

Rory had three boyfriends, but what if there was another possible love interest in between the lines? Someone who has been by her side the whole time.

Well.

Then there’s Paris.

Paris...Again

Paris who had big, definitive goals for herself just like Rory. Who was hardworking and had a strong work ethic that Rory (arguably) had as well. Paris also has the qualities I liked the best in Jess. Paris could understand Rory’s studiousness and later on her personality in general. This also works vice versa. Pretty much every character has a hard time understanding Paris or simply downright disliking her but Rory always had a decent understanding of her even if the reasoning was something like “Oh, she’s just being Paris.”. She also makes up for my biggest problem with Jess, being moody and never communicating with Rory. Paris, on the other hand, is always quick to tell Rory exactly what she’s feeling and why.

Granted, Rory and Paris were never written to be love interests and even their friendship had some blemishes. I think the potential for Gellmore becoming a likable couple was at its highest in season three and four and slowly diminished as the show went on. In the end, Rory and Paris is a good concept that sadly works best in fanon.

Their relationship in canon was for the most part one-sided. Rory never seemed to want or need or even consider Paris’s help. I also don’t think the show drew out how the two have many similarities as well many differences (you know, the whole “you two have more in common than you might expect” schtick). I know it’s already in the show, but I would’ve liked to see them build on it more.

However, even though they would still have issues in canon, I think Paris could’ve been an improvement or just an interesting addition to the canon love interests even if she didn’t end up as endgame or had a short-lived relationship with Rory. But hey, what are you gonna do when a show was made in the earlier 2000′s.

All in all the love interests in Gilmore Girls were...okay. For the most part. Even the ones I liked had some baffling moments that I could rant about. The romantic relationships were never the part of Gilmore Girls that I think people enjoyed though. We watched for the familial relationships and dynamics that gave the show its charm.

[somewhereinthepines]

do you think, that hackketts borthers could all have their way with ryan? just curious!!

you mean like all 3 of them, at the same time? or separately? i can see travis & bobby teaming up to mess ryan up, esp if laura killed their parents or idk, they just done playing nice. but either way, whatever the reason might be, i can’t see chris being on board with this. i don’t think, that he would for one see it as ‘morally acceptable’, as much as his own morale is kinda uh…fluid. but then, he also won’t be keen on sharing with his siblings lol. 

and like while i love the chapter, where ryan gets chased around by bobby, i can’t see him doing anything non homicidal, unless he’s told to do it. so unless, travis will be there to tell him what to do, it’s very unlikely for bobby to come to this conclusion by himself. like that he can use ryan not only as a knife cushion. 

but truth to be told, while i drawn that art, i was like huh, what about an AU, where ryan is kinda stuck with all 3 of them? it could be very interesting, esp considering that there are many ways to terrify and torture a person. not just plain idk stabby / r*pe stuff. and chris supposedly being the only ‘good’ one of the bunch, while in reality being almost as terrible as the other two hackett brothers. if not the worst one. i really love thinking about how far chris can push it, and still manage to lie to himself about his deeds. esp if we imagine, that his parents and kids are dead. it would automatically make ryan the only ‘nice’ thing, that he has left. so to what extent will he go in order to keep it? travis will be the new ‘head’ of the household, and bobby is just, well, a bobby. but with them there, what and how would chris react to some of their suggestions? it will laura & max situation 0.2. can’t let him go, but how long can one keep ryan locked, before smth will happen? 

this would have made such a complicated tale. esp bc out of all things, that i ship in horror games, chris hackett is the most UNLIKELY person to kidnap ‘their better half’ and hold them captive. travis was uncomfy with what he was doing (to some degree, at least), but chris will mostly be simply miserable lol. and what will ryan do? how will he navigate this situation? i mean, as much as i love that kid, he wouldn’t have made it, if he was one on one with one person, who clearly wants to gut him (bobby). the other one, who doesn’t care much (travis). and then, someone who he used to trust, but now, doesn’t know what to make of (chris). both ryan and andrew (Little Hope) seem to share a similarity in how almost passive they are, when it comes to danger. and how they don’t seem to possess a lot of will to go on fully on their own. they always need a companion to tag along. 

but oh boy, returning to question at hand in more straightforward way, i don’t think, that i will ever write travis / bobby doing anything sexual to ryan, bc i kinda very OTP orienteted person. and i doubt, that chris would have okay-ed it in any fashion. it’s more likely for him to non-con ryan himself, than knowingly allow anyone else do it.

so while, i’m always open to horrible things happening to characters in horror games. and i’m always up to make it even worse for them. i must say, that it doesn’t feel ‘natural’ for me here. mostly, bc of how both chris and ryan are. and then, how chris still has some morale in him, and his care for ryan seems to kinda hold him back more, than once. but like if we consider a set-up, where all of the hacketts beside travis and bobby are dead, and ryan is the only alive counselor, well….it would go VERY, like VERY bad for him then. neither, bobby or travis would give a fuck about keeping him alive for long.

hope, that it anwsered it!

[the-firebird69]

This is a huge number of morelock who are going to the wood drop off place with brush his redirecting them to a brush drop off and you can drop it there and they're accepting it now and they're mulching it just like Jeff it's a huge facility and it's making trees and yes its Mac. He's laughing because people couldn't figure it out but really he's accepting a ton of it and he saw what Brad was doing is using him as a test bed even though he knows about it he's not doing the composting but he is now he knows a bug problem not a problem solved but Max place is big it's probably 10 times the size of Jeff's drop off place. Can you drop it there in a mulch it and they compost it and he hauls it out all at the same spot and it's pretty big though it's like 10 acres so it's probably it's probably 10 times the size a little bit bigger it's pretty big 10 acres is pretty big by the way you have a hard time walking across it down here even those flat that's good except a lot now that's near fort Myers and he tested the stuff too inside just results and was amazed I saw it in the water and was amazed his little mad because his Grand nephew saying it's hormones and stuff it is okay down at the river mouth but it's not a ton further up if it's a lot and you tested and knows about it it's dangerous to swim in makes people big same has lake Okeechobee right now the content of hormone and spice mostly hormone is like 20%. That's more than the movie where they got Young and started shrinking in it became a little babies and really it doesn't really do that it's a growth hormone but it will make you a little younger if you go in for a little bit but people go in for like an hour and then start eating and the cannibals some of them some of them are eating fish and a lot of them bring tons of food and juice and stuff and they hate the cannibals and they shoot them and they let them float away now they take them off burn them it's true a lot of people won't do it and that's Max he's asking how they become black guys and Asian guys he's disguises now he's chemicals it's a lot safer doesn't make you sick and Billy z is a retard and now full blown but his body is a bit too it's big real quick and dangerous my daddy can grow so many trees he said it's got warehouse now there's a big demand and this is trees along the road here and that bend that goes to the road with public side but Chris rides all Max got his eye on it. We're going to need trees we're starting to build stuff pretty soon and we're going to need trees and we're suggesting Mac open ing more facilities like 10 more I was going to need trees for all these in the palm trees this is okay and tell him how many so he's getting to work cuz people already said a lot like half of that he's moving fast too

That line is huge there's a line 10 miles long to get to that drop off so they're going to make another one or two and pick it up all night and the brush one is gigantic the lights almost full no it's about half full takes a while I don't feel it and those cars to the brush thing at like 5 miles but that will only fill up a quarter way a ton of cars are going there and trucks everything you can imagine the carry stuff big buckets huge things that brush on top of the car people are desperate to get rid of this cuz it's a massive fire hazard they look at it and think they're this terrible and scary and stressed they blame it on Sunday they heard him today with the fire goes up the road and the fire department just puts it out but you don't want to happen might affect the electrical and stuff so they're all pulling it out now and Mac you should just go to another drop off if you can't handle it just throw it in one of your Big lots so he's saying that's a good idea you can set up the machines in a minute he's going to head into it having his guys do it Bob Marley and Daniel says he needs you down there to do this stupid s*** so they're going down the opening up a couple more brush places it's going to work how about that science saves the Day you sell it give me proceeds from One tree you played the tree somewhere dingtone says if I do that LOL

Thor Freya

We hear our son and daughter says I used to stay away from tree stuff and he did cuz taboo. But this is working great you should see these people are all excited and happy and not mad at our son anymore and see what it's doing he said if these storms starts up again it's going to toss this damn debris you're in the windows you get this s*** out of here and it started calling and start finding it this is terrific somebody got something done and it's going to work they're growing trees and they know how to do it and the composting the the mulch you grind up the tree limbs and the palm tree leaves and all that stuff and there's a chemical that Brad and Mac are putting in there brad is doing it and it's legal. Making a towel like that so hard dan might he says some money those trees are worth a lot and we're going to use the lottery it's a lot more than that can make

At times were allowed to move trees around let it be easier to buy new ones tons of people are moving on it they're getting their brush out and find out where we're calling back up and suggested 24-hour open and you saying okay.

Thor Freya

I don't have to do nutcases down there whistling right over here LOL attract Trump

This is working out for me though it's a great idea and I like it and it's going well and yeah Terry cheeseman was saying you're going to burn with the money so give him cigarettes and probably a certain brand cuz she's after the money people are stupid and as a matter of money from the bank they're saying it's cash but it's from the bank but it's not my money my money is in the account and no I didn't put cash in there until the safety account safety account boxes in the bank digitally. A ton of people are laughing that's not how it's done he says he does have a safety deposit box of stuff and we know where it is that was our son the last three lines and it doesn't have cash and it's in Canton Massachusetts and it's still in there cuz they don't want to open it. At one point someone said they took it out but they were just saying it and they lied so we're wondering when people are going to notice that it might still be there and they're not really picking up on it that much. There's another safety deposit box and he says he doesn't remember it it's in Boston and it is where he put the money that Billy zee supposedly took and Trump at Saint Elizabeth. No we did that to bother them and it was a lie. Seriously folks Trump is across the street and threatening for it no he didn't bring the money with him. And Trump is trying to threat terrorism the same Billy's he took it and they did take some money from him but it wasn't five grand it's like 300 bucks and he put the money in Canton Massachusetts no he put it in his bank in the safety deposit box that has the note in it. It's around 7 or 8,000 and we've been paying no it's Hera but we help her yes and she's been paying and she paid several things like that and kept several bank accounts alive it has people doing it and it's a job and real people are doing it by the way other than us know about 7,500 and say that's familiar yes Bank of America in Canton Massachusetts and it's right down the street from his house or apartment that did not burn down. He had some money in his house but he took it and that was what he took when he went to Churchland Banks he found it in the cabinet most of it was there the same money and the woman committed suicide so did the neighbor because they couldn't handle what they were doing and they died they're gone.

Thor Freya

Is laughing cuz that safety deposit box is probably full of gas yeah people die in the bank everyday

...

This f****** sucks I can't even go there that place below so bad that s**** everywhere it's in everything it's a chemical attack it's a serious terrorist attack and we should be bringing these people in not catering them and letting them hand cigarettes to people and say they're dead and all sorts of s***this person they say is the enemy is still helping us and he got all sorts of people that bring their brush in and we're opening up holding spots for it it would just bringing motors and we're doing it and it's like well okay I guess we don't need to sit there and wait there's no reason we just issue the permit to ourself it's kind of a dumb thing but we need people to do it so we wouldn't take responsibility and get in trouble so the plant where phoning the addresses to the plant now yeah I'm going to open 24 hours a day and we're going to get lights out there and security and people at security and fence it and all sorts of stuff is going on right now and we're moving and I'm calling 10 people and getting them out there and they're actually excited to do some work so damn boring here this pattern ourselves in the back and deteriorating. I want to say something this guy Trump is an a****** he he needs to be arrested he's a terrorist

Mike tew

Now it's threatening to harm me and it's still Mike too yes I'm running it down but it's starting I'm sending it to mine to handle it he's trying to threaten our nephew and he is so I'm sending more orders I'm getting I'm calling the anti-terror squad and we're going to get him his compounding it and I'm getting the feds involved sick of that groups coming in and attacking us then it is here are saying things are wrong in the corner run doing terrorist attacks and sabotaging they had a raccoon pee all over everything it ruined all the stock they replaced everything I want them out of here for that act alone I'm putting that we do that and shot our father and my brother and brother might have deserved it but not Mac don't want to this stuff I'm going to take care of it we've got a huge list of things to do and this is one of them

[until-theend-oftheline]

Kari’s Marvelous 2k Writing Challenge

Thank you so much, guys. I honestly didn’t expect this blog to grow the way it has when I started it. I love this fandom and I love reading for these characters as much as I love writing for them, so let’s celebrate with a challenge, shall we?

Since I reached the milestone before my 1 year anniversary I will as open up drabble requests using a prompts list - I’ll make a post about that as soon as I can.

Also, check out and please participate in my Spread the Love event for my 1 year anniversary.

This challenge is for you guys to have fun with. I set the due date a few months in the future to make sure you got plenty of time to complete it.

The prompts for this challenge are all dialogue prompts. They are all a little odd and a little sassy. Cause well I am a little odd and sassy ;) On to the rules and have fun Y'all!

Due Date: June 1st, 2019

Word min: 500 words

Word Max: 6k words

Style: It can be a drabble, one shot or beginning of a series. Do not put in in the middle of an ongoing series since I plan on reading them and don’t want to read 10 parts of something to understand the entry.

Fandom: MCU - mostly

Will you read and reblog my fic?

You betcha :D I am behind on reading for previous challenges so patience is a virtue here

When Do I Post?

Right now. Sign Ups start now and end when there are no more prompts or when the due date rolls around

Genre: Anything you want. You have to be over 18 if you write smut and you always have to warn accordingly! Fluff, angst, AUs, and crack are all welcome.

Limits on what you can write: No Mommy/daddy kinks, no non/dub con, no A/B/O, no merpeople. No half animal anything, please. No mobster aus. No monster porn (this counts Venom and Hulk) No glorification on cheating (it’s okay as a plot device but use it with thought), no wife, s/o (even exes) or actor hate in rpfs! - if you got any questions at any time feel free to send me an ask,

NO BDSM INVOLVING BUCKY - NEITHER IN SHIPS OR READER INSERTS! PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL OF HIS PTSD! DON’T TURN HIS ARM INTO A KINK FOR ANYONE - IT’S A DISABILITY AND CONNECTED TO GREAT TRAUMA. 

Format: State in your A/N that it is for my (until-theend-oftheline) Kari’s Marvelous 2K Challenge. And use the # Kari’s Marvelous 2K Challenge in the first 5 tags.

Pairing and word count also have to be easy to spot in your header!

Submit: After you posted on Tumblr you have to add yourself and your fic to this doc.  If you don’t do this you will not be added to the masterlist I create when the challenge is over. If you got questions - just ask :D

Doc link it case Tumblr is an ass: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16FmPbXuA6oF23M5qiR5jRCSiUpaW_RiDIPUHG_LziBk/edit?usp=sharing

How do I join?

You pick a prompt and a pairing off the list. Send me the prompt number along with a backup just in case and your pairing of choice. ASKS ONLY!! REPLIES, REBLOGS AND IMS WILL BE IGNORED!

There are no limits on the pairings but I only allow 2 people per prompt so think before you sign up. If you don’t think you will be doing it then don’t take the spot from someone else. For now, 1 person can sign up 3 times (one prompt per story). 

Prompts and people are under the cut.

Pairings

No male readers - gender neutral are fine otherwise female.

General Fics - character or rpf are both fine.

All genders, skin tones etc. OCs are welcome as well.

Sister/daughter/romantic/friendship reader pairings for following are all fine - just let me know which (I prefer romantic or friendship but no pressure):

Actors

Sebastian Stan

Chris Evans

Bradley Cooper

Chris Hemsworth

Robert Downey Jr.

Tom Hiddleston

Elizabeth Olsen

Tom Hardy

Characters

Bucky Barnes

Steve Rogers

Thor Odinson

Tony Stark

Wanda Maximoff

Sam Wilson

Brunnhilde/Valkyrie

Natasha Romanoff

Clint Barton*

Wade Wilson

Eddie Brock (no monster porn please!)*

Ships (all are allowed as poly with reader too):

Stucky*

Winterwitch*

Winterwidow

Winterhawk*

Winterfalcon*

Sam x Clint (I don’t know their ship name)

Clintasha

Steggy

Thundershield

Thor x Valkyrie (also forgot the ship name)

Prompts

1 “I’ve never been so insulted!” - “You don’t listen much do you?” @jewelswrites-ish (Chris Evans x Reader) / @avengerscompound (Winterhawk)

2 “On a scale of one to Australia. How dangerous are we talking?” @avengerscompound (clintasha) /

3 “When did you become so smart, oh wise one?” - “Since I stopped listening to you.” @writing-mermaid (Tony x sister!reader) /

4 “Seven billion people in the world and you are overreacting because we killed one man.” - “But…” - “Seven billion people! Now shut up and drink your smoothie!” @queen-of-the-avengers (Tony x Reader) /

5 “Oh God. I think I am in love” - “For your sake, I wouldn’t tell her/him that” @docharleythegeekqueen (Winterhawk x Reader) /

6 “Don’t trust him” - “Funny that’s exactly what he said about you” @readitandweepfics (Steve x Reader) /

7 “Children shouldn’t play with guns” - “Who said I was playing”

8 “On a scale of one to ten how bad do you think it would be if….” - “At least twenty” @fangirlfiction (Stucky x Reader) / @queen-of-the-avengers (Tony x Reader)

9 “What’s our exit strategy?” - “Our what?” - “Ohmygod we’re going to die” @acreativelydifferentlove (Steve Rogers x Reader) /

10 “I taught you how to pick locks and this is how you are using that skill?” @messy-random-bitch (Clint Barton) /

11 “What’s the little blinking light mean?” - “It means…. Wait? Blinking?!”

12 “Right now I don’t know if I want to kiss you or push you off the cliff!” - “Can I pick?”  @sweeetmonstrosity  (Sam Wilson x Reader) / @averyrogers83  (winterfalcon x reader)

13 “This is what the third time I crashed my own funeral” - “Fifth” - “Really? That many?”

14 “Bring them home. All of them.” - “But…” - “All. Of. Them.” - “Fine!”

15 “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” - “And I am subtly trying to avoid it.”

16 “What’s with the face?” - “Small fire! I said to set a small fire. Small was important!” @queen-of-the-avengers (Natascha Romanoff x Reader) /

17 “What the hell kinda noise was that?” - “I sneezed.” - “That was NOT a sneeze!” @jewels2876 (Chris Evans x Reader) /

18 “You got blood on your knees. No one goes nowhere and gets blood on their knees.”

19 “Is that blood?” - “No?” - “That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question!” @nekoannie-chan (Steve Rogers x Reader) / @becs-bunker (Stucky x Reader)

20 “Obviously I’ve been gone for way too long. You managed to kill all the houseplants” @awkwardfangirl2014 (Bucky Barnes x Reader) / @queen-of-the-avengers (Tom Hiddleston x Reader)

21 “Don’t you know who I am?” - “Yup. I just don’t care.” @queen-of-the-avengers (Elizabeth Olsen x Reader) /

22 “You’re going to break his heart if you pull a stunt like this” - “He has a heart?”  @keepgrindingwaywardsoul (Bucky Barnes x Reader) /  @yougetkilled-walkitoff (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

23 “Sorry I got a cold and feverish assassin on my lap. I’ll call you back when I convinced him a cold doesn’t mean he is dying.” @keepgrindingwaywardsoul (Bucky Barnes x Reader) /  @acreativelydifferentlove (Steve Rogers x Reader) 

24 “I hate you” - “Why? I’m lovely” @barnesrogersvstheworld (Bucky Barnes x Reader) / @queen-of-the-avengers (Natascha Romanoff x Reader)

25 “You’re one insult away from starting a war” - “That’s presumptuous of you. It already started”

26 “What are you doing in the chandelier?” - “You know. Just hanging out”

27 “Can we please try not to kill anyone today?” - “Well you are no fun”  @kentuckybarnes (Bucky Barnes x Reader) /

28 “You missed!” - “I never m… FUCK!”

29 “You nearly took my head off!” - “I told you to dug didn’t I?!” @raqnorok (Bucky Barnes x Reader) / 

30 “If you weren’t so goddamn annoying I would kiss you right now” - “Well if you weren’t such a pain in the ass…. Wait what?”  @tranquil—heart (Steve Rogers x Reader) / @awkwardfangirl2014  (Chris Evans x Reader)

MCU WRITING CHALLENGES 

@ifyougetkilled-walk-it-off @captain-rogers-beard @dolphinpink310 @grace-for-sale @docharleythegeekqueen @rebelslicious @thorne93 @hillywooddestiel @peterman-parker @queen-of-deans-booty @acreativelydifferentlove @emilyevanston @blacktithe7 @becs-bunker @roxyspearing @blacktithe7 @cassiefanfic @readitandweepfics @kayla-of-shield @fangirlextraordinaire @thatfanficstuff @danijimenezv @hopes-archer @marvel_madam08 @averyrogers83 @thelookingglassalice @slowlywithfreedom @awkwardfangirl2014

And a few others cause I love their writing

@jewels2876 @becs-bunker @roxyspearing @barnesrogersvstheworld @sebs-potato @moonbeambucky @tropicalcap @softlybarnes @bucky-at-bedtime @evanstarff @fangirlfiction @i-dont-do-rpfs @avengerscompound