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#and i said idk man but i dont wanna do that bc i dont have a job rn!!!! im not trying to drop 50 bucks
harbingersecho · 4 months
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yuridovewing · 3 months
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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skitskatdacat63 · 6 months
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Some matador studies :)
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+ ref pic I like but couldn't even attempt to draw 😭
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agirlinthegalaxy · 10 days
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It's been rolling around in my brain the last few days for some reason, but I still hate the family backstory reveals for Sophie and Eliot. I've seen some of the meta for it, but quite frankly, it still makes no sense. If it had been something actually thought of and intentional in the original, I think it could have been so fascinating. I mean, Sophie's willing abandonment of Astrid to contrast with Nate's loss of Sam or Eliot's adoption in contrast with Hardison's and Parker's? Could have been excellent! But they came out of nowhere in Redemption and don't work with these characters.
Sophie was still actively using the fucking alias that she met Astrid under! She met with someone from her past on the show! Like. Quite frankly, that one is unequivocally bullshit that they made up and threw in and pretended could fit with the established canon. (And I'm sorry, but the idea of Sophie abandoning Astrid and never telling Nate about her just... So much of Nate's trauma was rooted in the loss of Sam, and I think that introducing this element after he's gone and unable to respond to it taints Sophie and Nate's relationship in a way bc I'm not exactly sure how Nate would've responded to learning about this but I think that it's something he'd have needed to know. I don't know how to fully express my thoughts on that but yeah.)
As for Eliot, I don't like the adoption aspect literally at all. The way that he would interact with his family and the memory of his family would be different, and I think that it's flat out ridiculous to think that he'd have never mentioned it to the team in the original show, especially when dealing with the kid cases. (I also dislike the biracial adoption as its own element because if Eliot was actually raised by Black parents in the... idk what 80s/90s? That just. doesn't feel congruent with how they write Eliot interacting with PoC, not necessarily in a bad way, but babe, he's written like a white southern man raised in a specific kind of culture that does not jell with that. It also makes Eliot look... really bad that he was apparently raised with the knowledge of how fucked up the military was and his parents' history and made the choices that he did.) Like the show may not have explicitly stated it but the implication of that relationship was vastly fucking different throughout the original show.
Just. These were not backstories that were congruent with their depiction and characters in the original show, and they're also just moves that I don't particularly like or find interesting directions for those characters. There's also something to be said about how it was apparently unacceptable for a woman to not have kids or someone not reconciling with their biological family when that was something that the original show handled a lot better. Out of all the directions to take Sophie and Eliot's stories, that's just not really one that I think was a good idea.
#i'm not sure if i worded this v well tbh which concerns me#bc like. like i said i dont like the adoption plot anyways but part of my problem with that storyline IS that billy is black#bc i don't think that the way eliot is written makes sense if he was raised by a black couple during that decade#bc the way that he would have engaged with his family and community and the world around him would've been different#especially bc he was raised in the fucking south in the 80s#bc i dont think eliot was ever racist in the original show but i dont think that he really knew#how it was different for poc in certain ways that dont make sense if he was raised by a black couple#like the previous implications of his childhood and specifically his father were v much in the stereotypical v pro military be a man cultur#that culture is also v rooted in toxic masculinity and whiteness#God i hope that makes sense bc i feel like that sounds v bad#but i'd love more black characters on the show and i think that for pretty much any other mc that'd have been fine#it's specifically eliot with the space that he occupies that i feel like it's a problem with his backstory#which also is why i dont like that he's adopted at all bc that's an influential part in how you first view your place and family and all th#that i dont think makes sense with eliot's character. like literally nothing about that reveal really feels like it makes sense with eliot#and to move over to sophie for a second i feel like bringing up the abandoned stepdaughter would have been pretty damn important#when sophie was struggling with the idea of who she really was beneath the aliases and the grift#and especially when she's in a relationship with nate who WAS a father like#and that she used the charlotte alias to meet with someone from her past but there wasnt anything about the fallout#which still makes no fricking sense either way#also insert something about sophie being an older woman without kids#(i know there's the ot3 but they're not actually in a position as her kids bc theyre still equals in a sense)#and needing to actually go no no she was a mom! and then bailed and did all this and blah blah but she's always been a mom in her heart <3#and adding in this relationship as if an older woman cant be satisfied or complete without kids#and i know that ppl might bring up parker but like lbr parker is positioned in a v different space narratively than sophie#ofc parker doesn't have kids she's positioned in a space as the Odd one the kinda broken one#her defying the expectations narratively doesnt necessarily work the same bc of her place#idk i kinda hope these dont end up in the main tags bc idk how ppl will respond nor how well i actually got across my points#but i do wanna tag them for my blog so#leverage#sophie devereaux
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faaun · 3 months
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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odysseys-blood · 5 months
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begging on my hands and knees please pb stop killing your own game its getting quiet in hereeee
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#cliffnotes/.txt#whb#its like#yeah once again i get its a small company#but the way players keep dropping bc of how hostile/predatory its already gotten with paid content#im not going anywhere any time soon but man#ITS AGGRAVATING TO SEE IM SAD ABT IT#like i said when this started in like december its just#it feels like they jumped the gun way too early#no gacha is ever gonna be player friendly i get that too but like#usually they stwrt easing up on f2p content into more paid stuff later#game launched in what october? its april#only half a year and the way i keep seeing less and less is fr sad#and like ik im just a player i dont have the answer but like#if the focus switched from pay for characters to some of the other stuff that was supposed to be implemented by now#text chats/ the seraphim dungeons/ hell even the friends feature#like theres been no word on any of that and im just pulling from the promises announcement made in january#pools already feeling oversaturated for l cards#and its just. it gets real empty feeling real fast now it feels like nothing was rly. planned well if you get me#but idk#its just upsetting to see smthn dying this fast#i wanna have hope but ehhhh...#i rly do wanna wait it out bc im not like a super devoted pb fan#but i found love unholyc when the pandemic first was kicking my ass bc going from being on campus and-#being out all day with friends to being stuck at home was...tough#and the games janky but i liked the chars#same with whb#so like. augh
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coridallasmultipass · 11 days
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I hate when my phone won't let me have 2 audio sources running at the same time (depending on the app). I know what I'm doing, let me hear the discordant noises. My brain has built-in audio separation for music. It came as compensation for auditory processing issues. Don't make me pause the music.
#i also go absolutely fucking feral when my phone lowers the audio to play a notification sound#I CAN SEPARATE THE AUDIO. I CANT UNDERSTAND THE VIDEO IM WATCHING IF THE VOLUME SUDDENLY GOES TO ...#... 1% TO PLAY MY NOTIFICATION SOUND#wish i could turn that off more than the 2 audio sources one but i already tried researching how and its not possible with my means#i want to hear the notification sound but not at the cost of understanding what was just said on a video#especially if my hands are covered in paint and i cant rewind it#like i said. audio processing. often cant understand whats said under normal circumstances#suddenly lowering the volume makes it worse than having the notif and video play simultaneously#same with music and a video going. i dont wanna stop the vibe to play a video/short video/moment of video to bookmark the link#its not a phone ability issue bc i can play music while my battery-draining phone game plays!!#((usually dont tho bc i like the game music but if im playing while walking i need other music on even if its discordant))#((sometimes its not discordant which is fun))#oh correction before i post: i can usually understand whats said by understanding the other words spoken and mentally filling in the blanks#...for the words i missed. but when the audio goes to like 1% for a full like 5 seconds i miss an entire convo worth of audio#...on top of being pissed ab the audio being lowered for something easily filtered like a little 1 second chime#its hard enough to focus on what words people are speaking even face to face in person#im tired idk where im going w this now#ShitPost.exe#Cori.exe#seriously tho i love putting a song on repeat for hours and doing whatever. if i pause it its like. idk#in the middle of a shower. ur phone holds u at gunpoint to step out and take a shot of ketchup while u still got soap in ur eyes#then once u shoot the ketchup u can go back to showering and ur phone loses its ability to hold u at gunpoint.#like. i may not historically be opposed to a shot of ketchup for the meemz...#...but i dont want my shower interrupted at gunpoint by my phone to make me shoot ketchup...#...and then have to finish the shower with the taste of ketchup still lingering.#im tired i promise im not high thats just the best analogy for how wrong it feels to have to stop the music vibe thats been going for hours#man these tags went on longer than the post deserved and now im too tired to read what i wanted lmao#prob doesn't even make sense goOD NIGHT#delete later / /#((future cori can be the judge of that present cori is too tire))
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cantofworms · 1 year
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#ok ik all the hot take asks are pre much done and the sparkly say smth nice asks are better but well I’ve been having thoughts all day at#work and want to get them out now so that’s what I’m doing lol#obvs for the past few months i think ppl are vv heavily leaning into the dnf /r and I firmly believe that they aren’t#like yes I enjoy being a multi shipper but I still primarily read dnf fics bc they’re cute dnf writers and artists MWAHH ilysm#but it’s been increasingly annoying how every move dnf make ppl hyper obsess over it and ignore everything else like blog what u want this#is tumblr dot com but I think ppl how only see dnf thro the lens of romantic do much more ‘harm’ than ppl who dont#like the argument about taking validation out of their very REAL amazing friendship just gets over shadowed by omg Dream posted a pic of#geogre they’re in LOVE and sucking and FUCKING every night. like#and then completely disregard when dnf do and say the exact same shit about all their other friends#like dream has explicitly said they aren’t dating (ignore that tho) amd that’s he’s kissed multiple ppl since coming out (ignore that too)#and their friends naturally say that they’re all single (ignore that too) idk man it’s ok they like to pander amd that dream is a toxic#dnfer but it’s all just For Funsies. another thing is ppl CONSTANTLYYYY putting geohres sexuality under a microscope oh he drinks lemonade#from Starbucks he’s soooo gay like dumb shit like that is so irritating#the fact that geogre has never once talked about his sexuality except that one instance where he got a DONO about it proves how much it#just doesn’t matter or apply to the type of content creator he is/wants to be#to be clear if he is or isn’t or dnf every explicitly announce their romantic relationship im gonna be sooooo happy and supportive like aw#dnfogies🫶🏻 but I think there’s a 99.9% chanve that’ll never happen so maybe we should all just care a Little Less and focus on out lgbt#creators if that’s smth u wanna watch/blog about idk maybe I’m just burnt out from the phandom but whyyyyy does is matter what their#sexualities are they play minecraft who cares who CARESSSS idk maybe just having older brothers around dtqk ages has made me realize that#guys will just act homiesexual no matter What#guys are just Like That and tbc I’m not saying that just bc gnf hasn’t made an official coming out doesn’t mean he’s not queer but for the#sake of his contwnt it doesn’t matter either way ? so why are ppl talking about it on the daily idk man it’s just annoying but Oh Well#at the end of the day they’re all famous white guys and nothing matters hurray !!
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fiendishartist2 · 6 months
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guys what if i want to make my own apollo justice game.
#i need to write a prequel to aa4 pls pls pls pls pls#okay get this: so phoenix isnt disbarred yet and he doesnt have trucy. hes still taking and winning cases#one day he gets a call from edgeworth and hes all like ''wright i need your assistance'' and hes like what for and edgeworth goes#''ive been given the most ridiculous case and i think youre the only man in law who can take care of it''#so phoenix bikes his ass to the detention center and boom. child behind bars#and phoenix is like ??? hey kid what are doing here. and this kid is the most surly mfer on the planet like you couldnt get-#-a word out of him if you tried. hes kinda giving phoenix the stink eye too but hes just the littlest guy on earth#and phoenix feels bad for him so he tries to get a rundown of the case (maybe edgeworth gave him an autopsy report or smth beforehand)#but get this. the kid still wont speak. he hasnt even moved a muscle. and after some prodding you find out this little dude-#-doesnt speak english (i dont love aa6 but i think apollos tragic backstory can be interesting so we're going w that but taking it seriousl#anyways so maya is like omg this kid is speaking khurainese but hers is kinda broken bc shes not from the mainland and only knows it-#-from like prayers#so you only get bits and pieces of the kids testimony. plus he still doesnt wanna talk bc ''dhurk told me not to talk to you''#so you start following the new lead but you ask too many questions and apollos like oh shit i said too much and wont talk to you anymore#but now you have two leads: khur'ain and a man named ''dhurk'' plus the fact that this is kid might be new to america since-#-he cant speak english but is smack dab in the middle of california. its all v curious and phoenix wants to get to the bottom of it#for the rest of the case i feel like it would go in the direction of ''we dont know exactly whats up w this dhurk guy or where this kid-#-came from but we do get him acquitted and phoenix is able to save him from the dark path he was heading towards'' thus steering apollo-#-in the direction of law and giving him a wayyyy better reason than aa6 gave him <3#i kind of like the interlinked nature of ace attorney's storytelling. like everything leads into smth else and everyone is impacted-#-by another person before they even become properly entangled w each other's lives#like how mia faced dahlia years before she met phoenix but dahlia was the one to connect them#or how trucy gave phoenix the diary paper but she's also the one who ropes apollo into the waa. even before they know they're siblings#or how lamoire left apollo and trucy as children and when they reunite as adults they cant recognise each other but they all find each-#-other anyways#i could go on but i think this could be cool yknow esp bc i think the most interesting thing about apollo's aa6 backstory is his life-#-post dhurk. like where did he stay? was he a foster kid? was he put into the system? how did that affect him? what kind of ppl took him in#i just wanna know how that whole thing would have effected him bc like when yiu think about it how did he even get to america?? his dad's#-considered a terrorist. idk man i think its interesting and apollo and dhurks interactions are one of the only good parts of aa6
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mydr3aminvi0let · 4 months
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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magicdyke · 2 years
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theoretically the idea of being a masculine woman is so awesome to me, but whenever i see anything posted by my family referring to me with "she," my vision develops chromatic aberration and i start hearing a really loud buzzing noise and a fog starts rolling in
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astralmarionette · 8 months
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i think someone should kill me. violently. make my body unidentifiable. dismember me. discard my limbs in different parts of town.
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stonerzelda · 1 year
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...nvm about that, I think I might be the stupid one this evening and misinterpreted a few of their posts after getting rubbed the wrong way
You're not stupid!! I appreciate you doing your due diligence, I get where you were coming from and I'm greatful when ppl bring stuff like this to my attention. I try to stay on top of stuff like that and do background checks even if the blogs familiar just in case but in this case I don't think she ever meant to come off that way. Don't beat urself up
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bixiaoshi · 2 years
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#im sorry im getting feelings again#i was going to say i dont like being in tune w my feelings but. am i rlly LMAO#im not. im not rlly i dont recognize them i cant rlly name them outside of the main 3#all i know is that wanting smth usually leads to sadness bcs. when will it be my turn. will i EVER get my turn#and rn i want smth so bad which ik will turn into smth bad. sigh#and wanting smth im not sure i will ever get leads me to feeling im wasting my time bcs the things i can do now r very limited and outside#of that i cant rlly do shit. like. i rlly cant and it takes me to self-doubt. it makes me question myself#and i hate questioning myself bcs im not sure about a THING. is it the right path am i doing things right#and i dont know!!!!!! i dont know!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know if i made the right decision of dropping out. i dont know if it was the right#choice to start a new major. in a new university. im not sure#and it makes me insecure bcs what if i was wrong what if im doing things wrong what if i didnt do the right thing#idk man. this path has been so lonely and i know i keep repeating myself i just have to wait to do things i want but what if i dont get it#< see i said feeling things usually take the wrong turn#this isn't very silly goofy of me im sorry#i just gotta be my own comedic relief or i will go absolutely fucking insane#idk man. i just wanna feel like i made the right decision and that im doing things for my own good without doubting myself#i wanna feel secure in life and i want to feel proud of me but on the mean time im just gonna live through ppl feeling proud of me#and im gonna live ignoring every single feeling bcs i dont like feeling them at all and im gonna keep protecting myself getting attached to#fictional stories and such#jo.txt#if someone read til here im sorry for the thoughts and stuff i will go back to being silly goofy rn 👍
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faaun · 1 month
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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flowers-that-sing · 2 years
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how come when a cis guy dresses fem ppl will still recognize him as a guy but when i, a trans guy, dress fem, ppl go "ah so youre NOT trans" or think it means i am "actually" a girl.
no. i am just a femboy. that is all.
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