#and i realize its a theme i find myself drawn to

[artofmaquenda]

I began creating my "moonpaintings" in 2020, back when I often felt intense physical pain each month. I’ve always felt compelled to make art, though it’s rarely easy to explain why. Often, it feels like I’m driven by pure curiosity—or maybe even a touch of madness. When I started, I didn’t fully understand what this process meant to me. Sometimes we think we know why we’re drawn to something, only to realize it reflects something deeper or unexpected within us. Painting with my own blood became a raw way to explore emotions I couldn’t easily put into words.

Looking back, I realize this art was also a response to emotions I didn’t know how to handle. I carried a quiet sadness, though I never wanted to be defined or judged for it. People often think depression means you don’t enjoy life, but that’s not the case for me. I feel deeply connected to life—I laugh, I feel moved by beauty, I’m grateful. But I also carry grief and a kind of sorrow I can’t always explain. Maybe it’s about the world, personal losses, or just the heaviness that comes without reason. I’ve even had people assume my interests—like vulture culture and themes around mortality—stem solely from depression or past traumas. While my experiences have certainly influenced my art, my curiosity reaches far beyond them. I’m fascinated by life in its many forms, by the mysteries of nature, by cycles of renewal and decay, by everything that exists beneath the surface of what we think we know.

I’ve often felt like I had to control my emotions to be accepted, but not only for others’ comfort. Growing up in a home where emotions sometimes felt unstable and the atmosphere unpredictable, I learned to keep myself in check, to be “small” and steady even when I felt anything but. That need for control became a habit, a way to feel safe—but as I kept it up, it also became stifling. The more I tried to manage or conceal my intensity, the more isolated and disconnected I felt, and the heavier my emotions became.

I’ve sometimes worried that sharing these parts of myself might lead people to feel sorry for me, to try to “analyze” or “fix” me, even while I feel they may hide similar parts of themselves. It’s complicated, wanting to be open without being seen as fragile, and hoping others would feel safe to be open too.

Over time, though, I’m beginning to accept these parts of myself, and my moonpaintings have been a big part of that. Through them, I’m learning to embrace everything I am—light and dark, joy and sorrow. I’m still working on releasing the shame around my sadness and intensity, allowing myself to see these emotions as valid and worthy. I’m not fully there yet, but with each piece, I feel closer to showing up as my whole self, without needing to hide or “fix” anything.

This journey isn’t about being completely healed or “done”—it’s about letting all parts of me exist without judgment, about finding a kind of peace in the messiness. And maybe that’s the real beauty of this work: it gives me a place to honor where I am right now, embracing all the parts of me that are still growing, still struggling, still becoming.

[newbiespud]

I'm sure it's been said before but I'll say it myself because why not

The game In Stars and Time makes for a revealing contrast to the movie Groundhog Day in how they treat their final time loop and how that reflects on the main character. (Even though, if I remember right, the dev largely wasn't aware of Groundhog Day when they came up with ISAT.)

Spoilers for both after the break, I guess.

In Groundhog Day, Phil starts out narcissistic and self-centered, has the realization that he can live life without consequences, gets depressed after having tried and done everything that he's got everyone and everything memorized so that nothing can delight and surprise him anymore, and finally escapes when he performs a loop that proves that a better, happier world is within his grasp to make, not something owed to him, and that he is happy with the life he has today, not always pining for his ambitions for the future.

In... In Stars and Time, Siffrin starts out deflecting and aloof, has the realization that they can do this perfectly - 'this' being not only the impossible challenge of defeating the King but navigating their relationships with their party - gets depressed after hitting wall after wall and repeatedly fumbling into faux pas after faux pas with their party, and finally escapes when they perform a loop where their true feelings come out, no matter how ugly, and they're honest about their own desires and wishes rather than trying to keep up an ideal façade.

Plenty of people have pointed out that In Stars and Time subverts the 'escaping on the perfect loop' time-loop trope that Groundhog Day largely codifies. Not only does the 'perfect' loop completely fail, Siffrin escapes on arguably the 'worst' loop, the one where they rightfully worry that they've hurt and alienated their loves ones forever and cannot escape those consequences anymore.

But I don't think this contrast is as direct as it seems, even though one could say that Phil got away scot-free compared to Siffrin and that In Stars and Time is the superior story for portraying a harsher outcome. (I do think that exploration and advancement of tropes is just inevitable and even healthy over time, and Groundhog Day came out in 1993 so of course it and the tropes it spawned deserve modern critique, but I digress.) I actually think that it reflects how both stories and the mechanics of their time loops are built around their main characters. (There's also something to be said about how genre shapes narrative since GD is an existential comedy and ISAT is an action-adventure focusing on interpersonal drama, but that's another digression.)

ISAT makes an impact on the whole time loop genre with its clever subversion, but like all the best subversive stories, it's couched in strong characters that embody its themes.

And to take a broader perspective, the best time loop stories are allegories for the real-life situation of making the same mistakes over and over again caused by your own deep-seated personality flaws, and being forced to finally confront your inner demons and overcome them and become a better, healthier person. (Relatable, much?)

Phil is a man who's never happy with his lot in life, so he needs to learn to find the eternal richness and beauty of what he has within his grasp, and that a better, happier life is something he can make for himself. Thus, he escapes on the 'best' loop.

Siffrin is a person who refuses to share their true feelings and problems with others to the point of self-destruction (and complete reinvention in one aspect), so they need to learn that no matter how ugly and twisted they think they are, being open and honest doesn't mean their loved ones will care about them any less, even when Siffrin is seen at their lowest point possible. Thus, they escape on the 'worst' loop.

It's not just clever subversion, it's holistic circular story structure!

...Though maybe I'm just drawn to these stories because I, too, would like some extra time to Figure Some Shit Out and have that time come with some superpowers along the way, even if it nearly destroys me in the process.

[fuddlyduddly]

Hey, I saw you talking about reading The Haunting of Hill House via a trans lens and I got curious. Could you elaborate on that, please? Cause I found it really interesting.

yeah I can! I've been meaning to write some sort of article about why I feel Hill House is trans, so this is a good excuse to get these thoughts written out. It's mostly that I find the story and its themes to be very trans to me, specifically with the character of Eleanor; when I was a teen and didn't know I was trans, and I found myself drawn to her for reasons I couldn't understand yet. There are a lot of things about her that spoke to me as a pre egg-crack trans woman; the way she feels like she's been waiting her whole life for something, anything, but she doesn't know what; the way she's felt trapped by the expectations of her; the way she's so shy and withdrawing (she reminds me in a way of this quote from Imogen Binnie's Nevada: "Maria is transsexual and she is so meek she might disappear"); the ways in which Eleanor constantly feels out of touch with the people around her and can't figure out social situations; the ways she's never felt wanted ("I am a sort of stray cat aren't I?"); the way she is prone to misreading casual relationships because she isn't experienced enough to know she's mistaken; and especially how she so desperately wants to belong. Eleanor is so withdrawn and desperate for connection that she lets the House take her over because, at last, “something is at last really, really, really, happening to [her]”, and unfortunately I could relate to that; she's so desperate to belong that she'll let anything happen to her, even if it kills her.

One line in particular really speaks to me every time I reread the book: “—and then each year, one summer morning, the warm wind would come down the city street where she walked and she would be touched with the little cold thought: I have let more time go by.” To me, that's what it felt like pre realization, every year would go by and I'd feel like I'd missed something; I wouldn't know what, but I'd know I'd let more time go by. Eleanor's story is one of a person who's been waiting so long to make a change, that when a change finally happens, it's too late for her; she's waited too long, and she's out of time. It's rather bleak, but so is gender dysphoria.

I think for me ultimately, any story about a woman who feels trapped and out of touch in some way will feel trans to me (I have a Letterboxd list about that with all sorts of movies on it), but Hill House really sticks out to me because of how acute and specific Eleanor's pain is, and how relatable I found her; her pain feels very transfeminine to me in ways I'm not quite sure how to articulate. I've found a lot of other transfems on tumblr who are also very drawn to Hill House, and in a way its very nice to see us all have a special connection to this book.

also part of this realization came from this post!

[the-artist-grimm]

14, 18, and 27 for the ask game :3

ASK GAME

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

Hm...honestly just reaching out to artists I admire-I always get shy about reaching out and saying hi to people online, and even if we're mutuals I always get shy about messaging.

18. do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

For aliens statistically there's got to be SOME form of life out there, like there's so many planets and galaxies that for only Earth to have life on it seems very improbable. It may not be intelligent life or life like in movies or games, but there's got to be at least something out there.

As for ghosts neutral. I grew up with a father who was a funeral director/volunteered in a cemetery, and sometimes my mother would take my twin and myself over to visit him at work, especially when his original boss was still alive-she had no grandkids so she enjoyed seeing us visit. I often poked my head into empty chapels with bodies laid out for viewings and wandered the halls with not a sight of anything ghostly, and did the same thing at the cemetery my father volunteered at with no sights either. But in the same turn there are things that people just can't explain, so I don't really go 'yes they exist' or 'no they do not'.

Which on that mention of my upbringing that's actually part of why most of my OC characters have stories with heavy themes of life/death and why I'm so into Cult of the Lamb-I find the whole thing fascinating and love exploring the different ways humans contend with mortality. It's interesting writing and studying the different ways people react to death, considering how normal it was to me growing up.

27. are you a spiritual person?

I'm assuming this means religious? In that case not particularly, same with ghosts I can't really say yes a god or gods exist or no they do not since that's not really something you can easily prove or disprove-I'm basically agnostic. Only have been to church outside of just wandering around to study stained glass like...four times. Once for a funeral, then a cousin's wedding, then twice when my mother attempted to try taking us till stopping after realizing how little interest my sister and I had. My house wasn't religious at all growing up and still isn't religious.

What I do like however is religious imagery, like Cult of the Lamb especially though has gotten me really hooked on trying to incorporate it a little in my work. I've always loved gothic architecture and stained glass, but since getting into this fandom I've also found that I'm drawn to the silhouettes of religious garments or the compositions within stained glass or paintings.

My main OC Chrysa (which I post OC stuff here @illustratemuse ) for example is a priestess in training for the Goddess of Death, and her outfit is modeled slightly after a nun's! The necklace her weapon hangs de-transformed from as well is basically a rosary too, though its beads represent the stages of grief.

[starberriemilk]

ok. ok. i hope you understand how much sinclair being transgender fits in with his character. you probably do better than me, but i want to rant about how good of an idea it is.

like, first. his symbol. a cracked egg. for a long time, eggs have been used to symbolize those strugling with gender disphoria without any way to identify it as something outside the norm. (child sinclair probably struggled with that a lot.)

his entire motif is "between two worlds" from his splashscreen, to his base EGO art, to even kromer's boss theme literally being called "between two worlds"

of course it's referring to his transitory state between coward and hero, but this major theme of change passes through the entirety of sinclair's life. i would not be surprised if he actually is canonically transgender.

like... everything about him seems to SCREAM transgender.

if you have more, please rant it to me as well!

YES I fully understand it and IM SO HAPPY THERE'S ANOTHER PERSON WHO GETS IT TOO! YES! I AGREE WITH YOU SO MUCH! I really want to make a BIG BIG post that'd be transgender analysis of Sinclair, and the only reason why I'm not doing it is because I'm 1. nervous that people would be upset I didn't mention a possibility of him being transfem (sorry I don't like that hc/interpretation :( it makes me kinda uncomfy since I see him 100% as a trans man!) 2. HOW DO I WORDS (im so bad at wording stuff and putting thoughts into text)

But either way I AGREE SO MUCH WITH YOU! I like to think that the reason why his symbol is a cracked egg specifically is because he is starting to figure himself out and presents as masculine because he realized he's comfortable with it much more, so its a start! AND OF COURSE YES YES I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW BETWEEN TWO WORLDS CAN REFER TO HIM BEING TRANS TOO... But then I look back at the book and I realize how much sense it makes. The whole point of between two worlds in the book is that nothing truly is black and white and that includes Demian's gender identity (it's said so many times how he resembles both a man and a woman and clearly. transgender too), and I like to think Sinclair finds himself in that "between two worlds" state of gender identity too, seeing that he's different, between the world of cis women and cis men - transgender. If that makes any sense!

I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS FOR DAYS I SWEAR! Because you're right, everything about him screams transgender and it makes me incredibly happy. I genuinely think that Sinclair is transcoded, with how much feminity he shows in his character. And I know people will say "but feminine cis men exist" but I don't care because one way to show a character is transgender, is to make them have traits of their opposite gender... And obviously PM can't make it more obvious with queerness because we all know what Korea is like, but this? What we already have? It means a lot to me

Since I want to make a post about this one day, I want to say something from myself too:

Sinclair is the only male sinner who has a soft, feminine face, one that is usually drawn on women in PM games. Even other more feminine/twinkish characters like Yi Sang and Hong Lu have more sharp features, but Sinclair's are completely soft. And I think this includes his body too, like you can't really see it in his LCB sprite because he wears an oversized coat but in other identities he clearly has small shoulders and more of a.. feminine figure, I think, which again to me feels like he's a trans man that binds to hide his chest (if anyone asks about Boatworks- he had top surgery and his scars faded, and there's probably tech in the City that lets you have get rid of your boobs without any scars left)

[pixelgrotto]

Natural Avowed

I learned of 'natural fantasy' as a subgenre the other day after seeing the Fabula Ultima Natural Fantasy Atlas, which defines it as any work that features a connection between nature and humanity. Imagine green-infused organic trappings, references to the planet as Gaea, cautionary tales of climate change, lush forest settings, and protagonists who are druids, rangers, friends to animals, etc.

Avowed, an excellent action RPG made by Obsidian Entertainment, is one of the best natural fantasy media pieces I've seen in recent memory. The game seems to have gotten a good reception since its February release, but I'm of the mind that more people should play it. Set in the backdrop of the Pillars of Eternity duology, a world that feels like a Game Master's homebrew setting in the best way possible, Avowed casts the player as an envoy for a far-reaching empire who's supposed to check its colony of the Living Lands. This frontier island is suffering the effects of the Dreamscourge, a virus that both destroys minds and makes multicolored mushrooms pop up on everyone's skin.

Despite the terrible trappings of colonization, I find myself drawn to its real world historical paths and consequences, and the same is true for fictional tales. Avowed lets you subvert the role of the imperial lapdog, and you can be as empathic towards the Living Landers as you want to be, and even openly defy your orders. But beyond that, the game also delves into the idea of the Living Lands as its literal namesake - a breathing entity that's manifested an ecological scourge as a direct result of the colonial efforts of the occupying party.

As someone who's been working on a tabletop game for the last year and a half that deals with themes of ecological change (Mappa Mundi, go check out our recently-funded Kickstarter), I find these concepts extremely compelling. Avowed takes them to interesting places, and by the end of the game, the player's influence stretches beyond that of a mere political tool, becoming either a savior of nature or at the very least an instigator of change in the wilds.

All of this is the epitome of natural fantasy, I think. Avowed is far from the only property to investigate these things - Breath of the Wild showcased a similar flavor in video games, Princess Mononoke and pretty much all of Hayao Miyazaki's work does the same in the realm of anime, and I'll insert another shameless plug here for Mappa Mundi as an up and comer in the tabletop space. But Avowed does so with a wonderfully beautiful sheen - mushrooms really are so prevalant everywhere, those with mycophobia should be aware - and some of the best designs for dryads and other plantlike humanoids that I've seen in recent memory.

I was not aware of the term 'natural fantasy' when I first began working on Mappa Mundi or playing Avowed, and I'm not sure how 'official' this subgenre classification is. But I realize now that I've always been pulled towards these tales. The Mana/Seiken Densetsu franchise remains one of my fondest JRPG series, with an overarching plot that revolves around a world fed by magic from a giant Mana Tree. My first D&D character was a ranger, my first World of Warcraft character was a druid, and I've typically gravitated towards all of the other classes that I mentioned at the start of this post. And when I even think back to how I first fell in love with the fantasy genre in the hands of Tolkien, it was the pastoral existence of hobbits in a make believe version of nature-infused England that got me. (As I get older, I lust for the life of a hobbit more and more, second breakfasts included.)

Musing on this reality makes me chuckle, as I wouldn't consider myself an 'outdoorsy' or 'nature' person in day-to-day life, at least as far as those terms are defined by most people. I don't like going on hikes, and while I've been camping before as a boy scout, I tend to prefer the comfort of my own bed above all else. But perhaps there are more ways than one to feel an appreciation towards the planet we occupy, just as there are oodles upon oodles of fantasy subgenres waiting to be defined by products like Fabula Ultima (which really is a great TTRPG; go play it). In my case, I'm very happy to study my appreciation for natural fantasy through Avowed and similar tales, which in turn make me feel both the pulsations of this living land and the desire to save and serve it, in my own deeply personal way.

[fallen-white-rose-petals]

When I examine my artwork with the eyes of a psychoanalyst, I often see themes of isolation and loneliness and when I check in with myself, I see me as needing space for myself due to enmeshment trauma and a desperate part of myself showing an inner desire for a sense of self and individuality, which begs the question, who am I then? Where does self end and Self start? Most of my life I've felt very frozen in my body and its why I am drawn to the arts and self-expression, where honesty and truth is the warmth that I need to melt this capstone of ice. Thus, I use whatever I can such as social media to use for my own benefit where venting and flaunting my own deepest thoughts for everyone to see gives my ego that's trying to keep me safe by hiding, not much room to hide. I find this action is very left-hand path where I'm using the taboo for a purpose of healing and not escapism into another box of definitions like a lot of intellectuals do to sound smart to a less well-read populace. Alot of people find me very egoic, but they don't understand the avenue I am coming from where me being so detached from my body and emotions, always being on hyper alert mode has made me feel unsafe, where now due to my spiritual practise I feel at home in my body. Now most of my day is spent in a deep peace and reverence for all creation as I am realizing that everything is divine - even my perception of the material plane that seems separate to my physical sight but is actually all interconnected only if I gave myself time to look deeper. I'm finding myself less and less looking around for answers and trusting myself to be shown things when I need to be shown them, and so the truth and self-honesty are the pillars I often return to in my prayers at night where I talk to myself silently in order to flush out any suppression through the day as we are living in a very suppressed climate of humans that are very unhappy and feel powerless to do something effective about it. This healing is not winning the lotto, or some get rich quick scheme that a lot of people like to use to plaster their lives together to make as if they are keeping up with the social norm, but I know through deep experience you can never hide or run away from self and often it's a blessing to metaphorically die at an early age. Its why I think a lot of wise souls incarnate into hardship early on because it gets them questioning at a younger age so that when they are in their prime, they can actually enjoy it fully by not having insecurities that are hiding underneath that they are trying to mask.

Now I don't mind at all being by myself, because I have built the faculties to actually enjoy my animal humanness with its divine organs of perception, where God takes a much fuller apprehension then just my projection of what I think and what society has told me about God to be. And also, I enjoy the company of others as I am not trying to dissect them out of fear but allow them to rumour wherever they are and meet them halfway as I also have a will of my own that I need to attune to, to make my own life have meaning and direction.

Ove time through tantra my body of self - melts into the Self of all existence where different gears snap into your world view that you learn to tread with like riding a sailboat, which gives me a feeling of importance and value in the world, as the world turns on ideas and people are the engine of those ideas and my job is to make us more aware of these ideas, instead of just following blindly because fawning feels safer. This is an acrylic painting done by me Roche Pienaar called alone time. 18.5 x 21cm - 290gsm paper

[persianatpenn]

The Shipwrecked

The Shipwrecked: Contemporary Stories by Women from Iran is a collection of short stories by Iranian women writers, largely emerging after the 1979 revolution. These stories delve into gender and sociopolitical issues, revealing how politics infiltrate daily life and personal spaces in contemporary Iran. Revolution, war, and religious segregation shape the lives of women, with political forces influencing both their bodies and their private worlds. Although not outwardly political, the protagonists convey anger and disillusionment, using their voices to resist dominant power structures and challenge gender norms. Their narratives center on survival, subversion, and the pursuit of individual freedom in a repressive political landscape. Confined by homes, jails, and restrictive clothing, they mistrust authority and grapple with the pressures, harassment, and uncertainty of their circumstances. While some passively endure, others actively seek control over their lives, united in their struggle for autonomy and defiance of the limitations imposed upon them.

This past weekend, I chose to read the “Introduction” (vii-xvi) from the collection and the title short story (1-12). While reading, I found myself drawn to the way Moniru Ravanipour’s use of magical realism parallels Khaled Hosseini’s grounded realism in exploring trauma, though her allegorical approach gave me a fresh lens through which to view these struggles. Having read Hosseini’s works, like The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns (possibly one of my favorite novels), I was curious to see how Iranian narratives of repression and loss compared to Afghan and South Asian literary traditions.

Ravanipour’s story illuminated how allegory can be a powerful tool for critiquing authoritarianism and giving voice to the silenced. The magical elements in The Shipwrecked allow for a deeper examination of political oppression and the sense of helplessness felt by ordinary citizens. Unlike Hosseini’s more direct portrayal of political upheaval, Ravanipour’s dreamlike approach added layers of nuance, where the boundaries between fantasy and reality blur, intensifying the emotional impact.

I particularly enjoyed how the story unfolded like a fable, with elements of magical realism growing out of the harsh reality of authoritarian repression. This use of allegory reminded me of South Asian literature, particularly works from Pakistan and India, where magical realism also plays a role in expressing trauma and resistance, such as in Mohsin Hamid’s Exit West. Like Hamid's use of doorways as a metaphor for escape and survival, Ravanipour’s sea represents both a space of loss and liberation, where the boundaries between the living and the dead blur, allowing the silenced to find their voice.

This story challenged my preconceptions about Iranian literature. I had expected the political themes, but I was surprised by the subtle, almost poetic way Ravanipour wove the political and the personal. The Shipwrecked offers a more mystical approach to political resistance. In South Asia, while magic and allegory are often used to address historical traumas, as seen in Hamid’s works, there’s often a direct confrontation with the cultural and religious forces at play. Ravanipour’s story, with its focus on the internalization of loss and survival, reflects a subtler but equally powerful form of resistance. The shared cultural threads of post-colonialism and the impact of political instability run through both Iranian and South Asian narratives, but the ways in which characters cope with and resist these forces differ, creating a distinct literary experience.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading a non-academic piece of writing (for a change). In this collection, I discovered unique expressions of female agency in the face of repression, realizing how literature from Iran, much like South Asian narratives, challenges global stereotypes about women’s lack of power. Ravanipour’s stories present a potent form of resistance through subtle yet powerful acts of survival and defiance. It also makes me wonder how I can utilize fictional writing better in my own dissertation research.

Fereshteh Nouraie-Simone. 2014. The Shipwrecked : Contemporary Stories by Women From Iran. New York, NY: The Feminist Press at CUNY. https://search-ebscohost-com.proxy.library.upenn.edu/login.aspx?direct=true&db=e700xna&AN=954497&site=ehost-live

~Fiza

[starvingnarcissistmusic]

totally completely unrelated to my last message on Orchestra but any chance you could do a analysis/breakdown of We Sapient Stardust?

Alright so for the sake of not regurgitating things I've already said, I'm not going to go in depth about any of the songs in particular. I've already written loads about them on Genius so if anyone wants to know What's Up With [insert song here] they can go there. Instead, I'm gonna talk about what went into making the album as a whole.

We Sapient Stardust's """production""" began pretty much as soon as And That Means Everything finished. In fact, I'm pretty sure I had written most of Sleepless Friends before And That Means Everything even came out. After spending a whole year making an album about the past, I was really itching to write about how I felt in the present. And I felt.... bad. A friend has told me that We Sapient Stardust feels like "dealing with the condition of Being 17" and like. That's honestly exactly what it was. I was 17, limping over the high school finish line, feeling tired and sad and anxious about the future pretty much every day. The opening line of There Are Some Things I'd Rather Not Say was pretty much a summation of how I felt then. One year left till I fell apart.

Attached: Old cover idea/placeholder I had for Limbic System's Rag Doll. Was originally playing with the idea of it being part of the Burnout Series (Dysania, Anemia) but ultimately decided it didn't really fit in with those songs.

Initially, the album was a lot less existential. It was more just songs about how badly I felt, with most of them trailing off into angsty self-loathing. I had kind of made up my mind from the start that this was going to be the sad album, but at the beginning a lot of that sadness and misery was specifically centered on me. I felt really bad so I wrote a lot of songs about feeling really bad. At some point I leaned more into the existential themes, because honestly you can only spend so much of your free time writing songs about how much you don't like yourself before it feels just a little bit counter-intuitive to your mental health. Writing songs like that doesn't really feel like catharsis to me, it just feels like kicking myself while I'm down, and I didn't want my second album to feel like a thirty minute self hate session. Some artists can pull that off really well, I definitely can't.

Attached: The first demo of Sleepless Friends (at the time called Anarchist Cookbook), featuring slightly different lyrics and my (sickness afflicted) out of tune singing.

The cover started as just a test to try and make something in a collage style, I was really inspired by The Altogether's Silo EP cover art and wanted to make something in that vein. The oldest version of it on my PC I could find is from February 2nd 2024. It went through a few changes, at one point I had drawn a little figure in the sky in place of the plane, and at another point it had the album title and drawn-on stars like ATME, but eventually I just settled on using the collage as it was. It felt strong enough with to stand on its own. It was a little weird having something and knowing it would be the album cover, since for pretty much all of ATME's production I had convinced myself the cover was a placeholder.

Attached: collage album cover attempt.png, the first ever version. Kind of mostly the same, although the saturation was way down and it didn't have the outlines drawn in. These are how the photos looked when I took them, but then I realized the saturation made it look 1000% better.

The name was also a bit subject to change, as there was a lot of places I wanted to go with the album. I think at one point it was called "Songs For Scum". A few others include "Wish It Would Settle In", "Something About Drowning" (if I used this one the acronym wouldve been SAD which I think is funny), and "The Boy Who Cried Lonely". A lot of these names were made around the same time I was writing all of those self-loathing downer songs, so they were all vaguely angsty. Once I landed on We Sapient Stardust though, it was pretty much set in stone. Although, at one point there was going to be a companion EP called "Searching For Solace", filled with outtakes. I scrapped it mostly because I just didn't have enough scrapped material that I liked enough to release.

Attached: The moodboard I made for the album a month before it came out. The cat is the same one from the Blacktop Angels cover, because at the time Kafkaesque was Blacktop Angels Pt II. I didn't end up going with that though, so if I could remake it now I'd probably replace it with a dog instead. Fun fact: The cat was a stray at my high school, and my friend named it Chickpea.

Honestly between the two of them, We Sapient Stardust was a way harder album to make then And That Means Everything was, on pretty much all fronts. It's definitely my favorite between the two of them, but in my head, they're sister albums that are meant to go together. I'm incredibly proud of We Sapient Stardust, and I think I'll stay proud of it for a long time. I hope anyone who listened to it connected with it. That's really all I could hope for.

(And, as a final note, thanks to everyone who provided their voices for the group chant! That moment is probably my favorite thing I've ever made, and I couldn't have done it without them. All of their names are listed in the description of the YouTube video and in the Bandcamp page. Some of them even have their own music, so check them out!)

Anyways, hope that sufficed as enough rambling for a satisfying answer, haha

[personasdestinyy]

Sorrowful Love | Ch#3 | JJK

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; All he desires is vengeance.

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: thriller, angst, love at first sight, au! sexting

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook × Sena oc!

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: This story contains explicit language, graphic violence(murders, blood etc), and other mature content, If you are easily affected by such themes, it might be best to avoid reading it.

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.3k+

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭⇢

Sena's Pov:

It's been a whole week of non-stop hustle and bustle, and today, as I reluctantly opened my eyes at 8:00 am to start another day at work, I was greeted by a pounding headache and an achy body. It felt as if every single part of me was screaming in pain. To make matters worse, I had a strong suspicion that I was running a fever.

Realizing that going to work in such a state was out of the question, I reached for my phone on the table beside me. With a heavy heart, I composed a message to one of my colleague, explaining my deteriorating health and requesting a two-day absence. After sending the message, I placed my phone back on the table, feeling a mix of relief and disappointment.

As I sat there, tears began to well up in my eyes. The realization hit me hard - when I'm sick, it often feels like I'm all alone. The thought of reaching out to someone for help seemed daunting, as if they would only look at me with pity and sympathy. So, I kept my suffering to myself, silently battling through the pain.

I get up from bed to fetch some medicine, but as I take each step, a dull ache pulses through my body. I shuffle over to the kitchen cabinet, my hand reaching out to open it. Inside, I find the painkiller I desperately need. With a sigh of relief, I grab a tablet and then head to the refrigerator for a water bottle. I twist off the cap, taking a long sip of water before swallowing the pill. Sitting down on the kitchen stool, I cradle my chin in my hands, hoping for some relief.

After a few moments, the pain begins to subside slightly. I rise from the stool and make my way to the bathroom to freshen up. Once I'm feeling a bit more presentable, I select a sky blue crop top and a pair of blue trousers from the wardrobe. After changing, I slip on a pair of my sneakers, secure my mask in place, and grab my phone from the table along with my handbag from the dressing table.

Stepping outside, I make my way to the medical supply store to pick up some much-needed medication.

After a brisk 5-minute walk, I finally reached the pharmacy, eager to pick up my much-needed medication. As I push open the door, a mysterious figure materializes out of thin air, startling or fluttering me to the core. My heart instantly goes into overdrive, pounding against my chest like a wild animal trying to break free. I can't quite fathom why this stranger's sudden appearance has such a profound effect on me, but as he walks past me, time seems to stand still and my gaze fixates on his back.

Feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment, I gave myself gentle pats on my cheeks to regain my composure. Determined not to let my emotions get the best of me, I take a deep breath and step into the pharmacy. As I make my way towards the counter, I can't help but notice that the enigmatic stranger is already standing there. Once again, my eyes are drawn to his back, and I can't help but marvel at how it manages to send my pulse racing like a Formula 1 car.

Shaking off my fascination, I focus on my purpose and head straight for the counter, and stand right beside with this captivating stranger.

'Fuck'

My mind was supposed to be focused on my purpose, but instead, it seemed to have a mind of its own. As I stood there, waiting, I couldn't help but mentally compare my height to his. And of course, I came up short in comparison. It was as if my heart was playing tricks on me, refusing to listen to reason. I tried to ignore the rapid beating in my chest, but it was impossible.

Then, something unexpected happened. He started talking to the pharmacist right in front of me. His voice was like music to my ears, so captivating and wonderful. At that moment, I felt a surge of emotions. It was as if I was falling in love with him right then and there. My heart skipped a beat, and I couldn't help but be mesmerized by his presence.

As I continued to stare at him, I couldn't help but notice every little detail. His jawline was so perfectly chiseled, his side posture exuded confidence, and his hair was effortlessly stylish. Everything about him seemed perfect, and it made my heart flutter.

But then, he looked directly at me. It was as if time stood still, and everything around me faded into the background. At that moment, I felt a mixture of excitement and fear. Excitement because he acknowledged my presence, and fear because I was afraid of what he might be thinking of me.

"Uh, you have been staring at me for two minutes straight. May I ask you why?" he asked, his eyes filled with curiosity. It was at that moment that I realized just how long I had been lost in my thoughts, fixated on him. Panic washed over me, and I desperately searched for an excuse.

"Ahh, I'm sorry," I stammered, avoiding eye contact. "I didn't mean to... I was just... I'm sorry." I quickly turned around without purchasing medication, not daring to look at him again, and hastily made my way out of the pharmacy.

As I walked away, my heart still racing, I couldn't help but wonder what could have been. Maybe one day, fate would bring us together again..

As I finally reached my apartment, my heart continued to race, pounding in my chest for the entire five minutes it took me to get there. The adrenaline coursing through my veins made me feel both excited and anxious. Seeking some relief, I made my way to the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle. The simple act of drinking the water felt like a temporary distraction from the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me.

But no matter how hard I tried to focus on the task, thoughts of him consumed my mind. It was as if his presence lingered in every corner of my thoughts, driving me to the brink of insanity. I couldn't understand what was happening to me. Was it love? Infatuation? Or something else entirely? All I knew was that my heart couldn't seem to calm down.

Placing my palm over my chest, I could feel the rapid thumping of my heart beneath my touch. It was beating far too quickly, as if trying to escape the confines of my ribcage. I knew I had to find a way to suppress these overwhelming emotions, at least for now. So, I took a deep breath and tried to push them aside.

‘shit’

How foolish of me? I forgot to buy the medicine, the reason I went to the pharmacy, but I came back with a fast beating heart and still aching body from fever. And there's nothing I can do now, I can't go again to the pharmacy.

‘because I'm lazy’

I made my way to the bedroom, seeking solace in the comfort of my bed. I settled down, making myself cozy amidst the soft blankets and pillows. As I did, I reached into the bag’s pocket and pulled out my phone. With a quick swipe, I unlocked the screen and opened Instagram, hoping to find some distraction in the colorful world of social media.

But as the app loaded, a sudden realization hit me like a bolt of lightning. I had completely forgotten about the painting I had been meaning to order, one that maybe would capture the essence of my tumultuous emotions. Without wasting another second, I accessed my contact list and scrolled until I found 'jungkook' name on my contacts.

With a mix of anticipation and nervousness, I tapped on his name and then on the call icon. The phone began to ring, and with each passing second, my heart rate seemed to rise once more.

© 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐲𝐲 (𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐝)

[baby-yaga]

i totally get why art that seems "shock for shock-sake" is a turn off for some people. it honestly wasnt until earlier this year, after i remembered some really fucked up shit that happened to me, that i realized why i am so drawn to that kind of thing.

making a work that is shocking to be shocking isnt easy--decent writing, composition, themes, those all still apply. and then, theres the added challenge of writing about topics that are ~controversial~

i think the immediate thing that comes to mind is rape revenge, one of my favorite horror subgenres. one of my favorite rape revenge movies is i spit on your grave, the 2010 remake of the 1978 film. the original is, by todays standards, much more tame. the attack is far less brutal, the murders are less graphic, even the scenery [ connecticut in spring, as opposed to the remakes setting of louisiana in fall ] is much more green and vibrant, and more pleasant to look at in my opinion. i think both of these films have a reputation for being shlock--exploitative, misogynistic, torture-porn. and i dont even think they arent those things [ and the victim being a rich white woman, her attackers impoverished white men. these films are very classist in my opinion ].

rape revenge is a very controversial genre, made even more so by the fact that many of the most well known films are written and directed by men [ i spit on your grave, the original and its remake, same of the last house of the left and its remake, in fact female writers and directors are relatively new to this subgenre ]

if id been asked earlier this year, "what is it about this genre that you find so compelling?" i wouldve struggled to answer. i think the best i couldve come up with is something like, "catharsis." and i do find these films cathartic. they are tense and brutal, and at the end, when the bad guys have died their grotesque deaths, unable to harm anyone anymore, i breathe a sigh of relief. but the truth is, i like that they make people uncomfortable.

to me, these pieces of work existing, even though i havent made any of these works myself, are my own revenge. i want people to watch them, and i do get offended when someone finds them morally wrong. in the evilest parts of my soul i want to force people to watch these devastating, "pointless", "shocking-for-shocks-sake" films and feel even a fraction of what i do. for even a moment, feel as helpless, trapped, terrified, hurt, disoriented, enraged, and humiliated as i do. yes, i want people to be shocked. i want them to be shocked because i want them to feel it. i want their hearts and minds, souls and bodies to be as tainted as mine, even if its just a little bit. i want people to be as traumatized as i am.

i understand this isnt rational. for one thing, i am far from the only rape victim in the world. im not even the only childhood rape victim in the world. im not even the only victim of csam/sex trafficking victim in the world. im not the only person whos family had a "weird uncle", that everyone, even his victims, refused to acknowledge what he was. im not the only victim of sexual harassment and stalking. im just one of perhaps millions, a victim of all of those things. there are perhaps thousands of people with a history nearly identical to mine. but i dont care. i want them to hurt too.

art is supposed to make you feel something. its often said that art is a conversation between you and the artist. how do you feel when the artist wants to abuse you? how do you feel when the artist, knowing nothing of your own history, shows you the ugliest, most rancid, most infected parts of themselves, and they ask you to look?

look at me. look at what i am missing. look at how i am mangled. look at how i am ugly. i am not a palatable victim. i wasnt saved from abuse. the fbi never broke in while i was being photographed or molested and saved me from my fate. the worst happened. and it happened again, and again, and again and no one noticed, and no one saved me. i didnt even save myself. i didnt move away from it all, abandon everyone id ever known, and change my identity like i desperately wanted when i was a teenager. im broke, and i still live within a 1 mile radius of where all the worst things in my life happened to me. i live just 2 blocks away from where i was trafficked and used to make csam. i live just 2 houses down from where i was groomed and repeatedly raped by my best friends dad. im not there anymore, in the sense that years have passed, and i am an adult now. but i still live here, still see his house every day, still see the tree in front of the house where i was nearly drowned to keep me quiet and afraid.

yeah, i want the art i make to shock you. i dont think i have anything else to say.

[lockandkeyhyena]

Another ask! Wowie Kazowie. I wanted to say I just went through the Alvin's Infurno tag because I realized you've been answering questions about it and it's prompted me to think about my own anthro story and how much they contrast with each other.

I have some similar themes in mind, including my own 100% terrible character who is also someone who grooms a 16 year old (is also a serial killer but thats a whole other can of worms), however in mine it's more of a commentary on the systemic aspects of grooming and the sexual abuse of teenagers.

Specifically I decided to make the abuser in question a straight, cis white-coded woman in her twenties who had wealthy parents, and her victim (the main character) a latino black-coded queer kid dealing with mental illness.

Though I agree a lot with your philosophies, I made the abuser extremely unsympathetic because personally I was really worried about people excusing the actions of someone adjacent to white femininity. Particularly, a lot of black kids are seen as aggressors and I didn't want to compromise on the main character being kinda shitty because I know myself as someone who can be quite shitty sometimes. So making her as unsympathetic as possible in actions was the compromise I chose in order to highlight how its privilege which allowed her to do what she does to her victims, not skill or being a mastermind. Despite everyone knowing her to be terrible cruel and mean, nobody investigates it because she is harmless to authority as someone in the position of authority.

Seeing your story come to fruition makes me wonder how I would've done this aspect of my story differently had I wanted it to be the whole focus of a story rather than just one piece of my comfort oc's torture nexus. I think it's likely I would have had something similar to your story, but I do think I would've approached hell differently.

I always imagined hell to be a place where people who feel guilty go to, and not necessarily people who 'deserve' (in quotes because its subjective) it go to. Like you I've always found the idea of christian heaven and hell to be strange, I found myself drawn to the idea that the afterlife is a state of mind you walk yourself into.

I love the shitty motel.

I've been in positions where my family was unable to find homes and I've had to stay in motels and hotels on several occasions (i lived in a hotel for three months at one point) and there's something oddly nostalgic to me about being stuck in a place - a motel/hotel - that you're not supposed to be in for a longer time than you should.

Anyways thats my ask box ramble I hope this gives you thoughts? I don't know?

thank you so much for your thoughts! i love it when people come and tell me about their own stories that deal with similar issues. i think in your story’s case highlighting the abuser’s unsympatheticness works given you’re going for a critique of systemic and societal power structures and how they intersect with race. of course you can deal with more than one idea per story but if you’re going for a more straightforward critique rather than an introspective character study, it makes sense to put the brunt of the empathy you want your reader to feel on the victim, rather than the aggressor.

thank you also for your compliments of the motel! i wanted a really liminal feel for it and i’m glad that comes across :)

[cinnamons1999]

UPDATE TO THIS POST (TW FOR MENTIONS OF HARD DRUGS, SELF HARM AND SUICIDAL THEMES ON THAT POST)

also this post is QUITE LONG so if youre an "i aint readin all that" person (tbh me fr im just a yapper i cant listen for nothin) then maybe its best not to int w this post, cuz discussion will require you to read the entire thing for you to know what im on about.

TW FOR ( DRAWN AND MENTIONED) SH AND SADLY, MENTIONS OF ROMANTICIZATION OF SH, SUICIDE, DRUGS ETC.

ok so the prev post was about how much i realized menhera-chan was kinda like an inspiration to me, both in my art style and in the way i saw my own mental health. but honestly im way more detached from her now.

i've been clean for a good while since yk, its easier for me to distract myself from punching my own face now that i have wifey around. i honestly just dont think menhera-chan seems to encapsulate what menhera can be for me anymore, and knowing what type of person bisuko ezaki is i just don't feel comfortable knowing i used to look up to that work.

even with my recovery i still am going through therapy and potentially finding a diagnosis at the hospital, meaning i probably still have shit to work thru tho i cant predict the future

and with this i just dont relate to menhera-chan anymore, not just bcuz bisuko is a shit person but bcuz im more stereotypically masculine (obv, shes a girl in a sailor uniform what am i thinking), but bcuz even when some of the menhera-chan comic shorts seem genuine in the way they tackle self harm and mental health, but then i remember he made THIS ONE DRAWING (THIS IS NOT A CALLOUT POST. I HONESTLY JUST FEEL LIKE BRINGING THIS UP)

and apparently?? yamiko no seigi fetishizes girls who do SH, and even when im not a girl it all just feels less genuine bcuz of this. how u sexualizing SH yet still have comic shorts abt how you shouldnt upload your self harm scars bcuz ppl who romanticize SH could get to it.

(this comic short is the one im talking about btw)

it just feels less genuine to me bcuz of this, cuz if you really want to care abt mental health, spread awareness and share your struggle, then why make that shirt? thats just me tbh.

i've started liking the idea of making my own menhera mascot thing (menhera angel, who's kinda like menhera X by diy-menhera-blog in the way that they are completely genderless, also menhera angel is an angel ragdoll creature thing?? meaning they are completely raceless too.)

this image is also in a diff art post of mine.

my mental health has just gotten a bit better but cuz of therapy and school, and the stress of going to a gymnasium soon (yeah, SV system) i honestly just don't think im experiencing mental health struggles in a different way than menhera-chan is shown to be, and in a different way than most people who relate to menhera-chan/momoka sakurai do.

i respect those who are attached to her and can point out that ezaki bisuko is still a shit person but idk,, maybe when i can find community in the menhera space i can find others who are also not as attached to wrist-cut warrior manga like me.

just,, man. im really trying to find community w menhera people and in the menhera sphere so i hope i get welcomed with open arms but idk,,, (cuz a lot of menhera stuff crosses over w/ jirai and landmine and i feel like theyll see me as "too stable." n shit or just wont welcome me at all and will chase me out but thats just my anxiety talking.)

TL;DR: im more detached from menhera-chan's character cuz of bisuko himself and changes in my mental health, and i might find comfort in the menhera sphere if i get welcomed.

[oxensun]

I wouldn't call myself an expert by all means but having a tarot deck that I truly resonate with has changed my life. This deck has changed my life.

I chose this deck for a few reasons.

Its not my main pantheon (for obvious reasons) but my ancestor work has put an interest in Slavic reconstruction in my head as I'm fairly proud of my polish heritage. Many of the themes of the cards relate to Slavic mythos, and the architecture, style, symbolism, and clothing of characters depicted reflect those cultural traditions. Another detail that sealed the deal for me was that is uses "wheels," in place of pentacles. I struggle with interpreting anything with association to capital or currency. Finding a deck with different iconography wasn't one of my big requests when looking for a deck, but I felt so drawn to this one intuitively that when I realized this, it felt like fate. Each card is hand drawn and painted with beautiful watercolors. The guidebook is hit-or-miss; some of the entries make the connection between the art and the myths, but not much of it is new to me. Some of the cards' designs rely on the Rider-Waite iconography and symbolism, but many of them are totally unique and honestly, I find myself resonating with these pictures without even trying. They're so loud and clear for me. I love being a witch.

[hollow-dweller]

Talk shop Tuesday: which themes do you find yourself drawn to when writing/creating? How come?

i've talked about Grief and Complicated Relationships a lot, which are themes i personally believe i am interested in for purely intellectual reasons and definitely say nothing about who i am as a person or anything about my emotional state or the things that have happened to me hang on where did this photo of barbara streisand come from-

anyway.

something i actually find myself exploring a lot is the theme of parenthood. and that was something that emerged, not necessarily without me being aware of it, but it took me a little by surprise when i realized exactly How Much i engage with it.

like i wrote the irondad platonic soulmates au that is actually about May and Pepper being besties specifically as a SUBVERSION of the trope in irondad where Tony finds out that he and Peter are "platonic" soulmates and becomes the Best Dad Ever. and while that fic is very much about the May & Pepper friendship, it is also about parenthood--specifically motherhood--through the lens of two women who have zero biological tie (and in Pepper's case, no traditional familial ties of any sort) to their child.

the twilight au started as an april fool's day joke/avenue to bully @seek--rest specifically and personally, but over the course of writing/plotting it, it rapidly became apparent to me that the May & Peter relationship, and specifically the conflict generated by Spider-Man and its impact on their relationship, was a driving force for the tension in that story. there is the petermj of it all, but really if that fic is about anything it's about May & Peter. which does reflect the impact of parentification/complicated parental relationships on bella's story in twilight in this essay i will-

by the time i got to fics like some way of being human and we said our dreams will carry us, which were conceived around MJ's complicated relationship with her mother and Miles' loss of his mother respectively, it was much more apparent to me how interested i am in Exploring Parenthood. it was always an element in my fics, but for a long time i thought about parenthood as a secondary theme, not a primary one. whereas looking back it's like. you dolt.

i am always Intentional with my writing, but as i have progressed in fandom, i have a) become a better writer and b) achieved more clarity on what exactly i want to explore in these kinds of fics. looking at parenthood, warts and all, is something i am constantly consciously thinking about now as i write. and it's interesting to me to look back and see that evolution through the past few years as my interest--and ability--has refined and crystallized.

also this is again one of those Purely Intellectual things and indicates nothing deeper BARBARA PLEASE-

[marley-manson]

i want to know everything lol but let's try 4, 8 and 11 for now. i'm sure you'll get other asks but alsoooo curious about 15 but for your top 5 fave characters since you are a talented vidder, i'm sure you have interesting thoughts.

Thank you, both for the ask and the comment on my vidding 💖 Sorry I couldn't answer this last night lol, it actually took me a while to answer the song question.

4 . what’s your favorite line ?

lol it's so impossible to choose, I've seen this in a few mash themed ask memes and I have a different answer every time. Today I'm gonna go with a fave gay joke: "Captain Sodom and Captain Gomorrah. He's Gomorrah."

8 . what’s your favorite ridiculous storyline ?

Hmmmm well I love the vibes of Adam's Ribs a lot. Klinger's subplot in The Trial of Henry Blake is a stone cold classic. Lyle's crush in Springtime. God the pony contest in Life With Father. Genuinely love the erectile dysfunction episode for the freudian stuff. The Klinger/Zale fight in End Run for the sardonic commentary on the war. The tray subplot in The Life You Save for the complementary absurdism.

Uhhhhhh I'm going with pony subplot. It's fun, it's shippy, it's cute, it's light, it leads to one of the best episode endings ever, and it thematically ties into the rest of the episode in a neat way.

11 . favorite random object in the swamp ?

I love the basketball with a jack o lantern face drawn on in marker in Trick or Treatment. It's that or Hawkeye's picture of Truman, because I like to imagine him occasionally directing exasperated commentary towards it.

15 . pick a theme song for one of the characters . why do you think that song suits them ?

Oof lol this is hard because the hardest part of vidding for me is finding the right songs. I actually don't have very many associated with Mash characters for some reason. But I'll give it a shot!

I am going to go with my first vid song for Hawkeye, Waltzing Along by James. May your mind set you free, may your heart lead you on. It's perfect for his vibe imo. The rebellion in spirit despite being trapped, the ways he keeps sane, the love.

I do already have a main song I associate with Margaret: Happy Meal II by The Cardigans. Margaret always on the search for someone to complete her, faking her way through relationships by presenting a facade and trying to be perfect for them, the insistence that she's happy that sounds more and more forced the more it's repeated.

Arrange my books in order Make up some nice stories to amuse you Make things look smart and easy Shape up the place Hungry for the meeting The dinner we'll be eating Wine that we'll be drinking And kinky thoughts I'm thinking All because of you

Though actually I've mentioned that before in another meme, so have a different Cardigans song for her as well lol, Slow:

There'll be rain on our wedding day Rotting roses in my bouqet There'll be rain on our wedding day Gray be the sky Too late to cry

For Trapper... okay I consulted my tiny Mash playlist and found one that I think fits him. Left and Leaving by The Weakerthans. Not the type of song I usually listen to but hey it works.

The sidewalks are watching me think about you Sparkled with broken glass I'm back with scars to show Back with the streets I know

Okay BJ might not be in my top 5 but I actually have a few songs associated with him so he gets to jump the queue. I'm going with GMF by John Grant. I wanted to vid it but it's such a long song with some tricky lyrics to match I couldn't get it started, but I dig it for BJ. Especially this bit:

I am not who you think I am I am quite angry which I barely can conceal You think I hate myself, it's you I hate Because you have the nerve to make me feel

I wanted one for Klinger but if I had one for him I'd be vidding it lol :( So I wracked my brain to think of one for Frank, and realized my all time favourite song actually fits him lol: Lovefool, once again by The Cardigans. Just genderswap it and it's perfect in its pathetic shallow neediness.

ask meme