#and i promised myself i needed to write one none cutesy thing

[abucketofdumbos]

At Any Cost Chapter One

“Are you sure this is what you want?,” Arthur’s voice inquired, “ You are not obligated to serve for your people, Norei. You could stay here, you could tinker in the city’s shops-”

“I thought we’d already had this conversation.” Norei interjected, Arthur’s eyes scanning the back of her head. She was nineteen then, young enough to be annoyed with his concern, but to him she still looked like the his ten year old daughter that he’d read to every summer night. To him she’d always look that way, young and pure. The nineteen year old version of her was too real, too painful.

 Norei’s fingers fiddled with the new tabard, its emboldened gold and royal blue crest took no shame in declaring its affiliation with Stormwind. All would know she was serving the Alliance, and she liked it that way. This had been her purpose, to break free of the constraints of a life entirely sheltered within the city. To become a great engineer, to aid her people in their time of need. She would vow to serve and protect and that fact alone was reassurance she had found comfortable purpose in her life.

 “Will you be on the front..?” Her father's voice inquired once more, she was unaccustomed to this much concern. Her father was a stern man of great conviction and purpose, he had molded her a moral compass and worldview that did not account for doubt. She gave another annoyed sigh, fidgeting with the tabard once more. It was too big. She’d needed to gain at least ten pounds to fill it out.

 “No, Dad. We’ve discussed this,” she said turning to meet his eye line, “they’ve commissioned engineers to aid in the maintenance of their air fleets while they investigate the cataclysm. I will travel where they deem fit, and I will repair. We won't be fighting.” She closed the gap between them to wrap her arms tightly around his midsection. Her father towered well over Norei, and his meaty arms wrapped her into a cloak of warmth that had always left her feeling secure. Arthur himself had turned a cheek to stare desolately at her newly empty room. He had prepared himself for the day his daughter would leave, but nothing could prepare him for how fast it would come, or exactly the way in which it did.

 Norei had begun to peel away from him, gleaming a proud and excited smile. The moment of bliss was short lived, her features fell as she regarded the purple robes and tabard that she’d just held tightly in hand. The symbol of the Kirin Tor was painted in metallic over the fabric,his robes thick and dense in preparation for Northrend’s cold.

 “Are you not…?” Norei managed breathlessly.

 “We must remain diplomatic, Norei.” Arthur’s voice struggled to find the power it often demanded, he refused to allow her to hear the choking nature of his speech.

 “Dip-diplomatic? We are battling over land grabs, we are-” she took a pained step back, “we are at war, Father. Diplomacy does not return the lives of those lost.” Her voice trailed, eyes welling with painful tears.

 “The Kirin Tor are more united than ever, my love. Diplomacy has carried us through the terrors of Northrend. Diplomacy has provided for us greatly, Norei. Please understand.” Arthur’s hand reached for her then, but caught on to nothing. He suppressed a pained whimper as he watched her dodge his grasp. She would not understand, he only wished she would. Boldness had manifested in many forms within his daughter, but more often than not it appeared in the desire for justice, a righteous passion for good.

 “No, I understand. It is fine,” Norei dismissed promptly, “where is Mother? Is she feeling ill today-”

 “She was summoned to Dalaran. She is well,” Arthur’s voice cut in this time, sharp and dismissive. His eyes stared pleadingly down at the girl, wishing she would not inquire more, and hoping she would understand why they could not follow.

 “Will- will I see you again soon?” Norei’s voice cracked with a touch of sadness. Her eyes sliding over the hardwood floors of her childhood home.

 “We will see you again, Norei. Back here, together, as we belong.” Arthur’s hand tucked under her gaunt little chin and brought her gaze back to his own. A gentle smile grew on both of their faces and a quick bump of their foreheads before they collided together again in a hug. It was a fiercely affectionate hold on one another and neither particularly wanted to break from it, but life was fickle. A bell sounded far off in the distance, from the city’s clock tower. The two broke apart quickly as Arthur ushered her to grab her items. Hemming and hawing over her pack and running over a list of pointless items that he just had to be certain she packed. It was almost like the moment had come and gone without him even recognizing it. Soon he was staring out the open window of his living room watching the blonde frock of hair, cut close to her head, flopping gently in the wind as she bobbed and weaved smoothly through the streets.

 “She will serve the cause well,” A familiar voice remarked behind Arthur. His wife ambled slowly from their room where she’d remained behind closed doors. He turned quickly and hustled to her side, his hand slipping protectively to the small of her back and his other guiding her palm into his own. He helped her gaunt form shuffle into the room and towards the window, catching the last few glimpses of Norei before she rounded a corner towards the docks. His wife was undeniably sickly looking, weak and wiry, from her frame to the sunken nature of her eyes.

 “We must tell her Rose, she has the right to know about her own Mother.” Arthur stared blankly at the spot where he’d last seen his daughter. Almost expecting in some cruel twist of fate that he may be permitted just one last glimpse.

 “No, Arthur. We will endure, we will endure without troubling her,” she sniffled, “to endure, Arthur, to simply endure is to triumph. We will endure, for her and for the greater good.” Rose's voice trembled just on the edge of sobbing.

 _____________________________________________________________________________

 Norei shot up in bed, the visage of her dream slowly fading. The haziness of the planes of her imagination becoming a distant speck as the clouds of her eyes shifted and her irises refocused on the room before her. She was heaving large and labored breaths, hyperventilating loudly whilst examining the barren and unfamiliar room she was in. Something groaned next to her, obviously annoyed by all the fuss she was creating, it was then that her eye caught the familiar glimpse of Flynn’s broad shoulders. He was rolled onto the completely opposite side of the bed, one foot dangling dangerously over the edge of the bed and free from the sheets. Her chest fell and rose in sweeping waves of terror, slowly but inevitably subsiding.

 She was an idiot, a complete idiot of a woman. Had she not learned her lesson? Had she not experienced that exact nightmare enough times to know its purpose?

 She had run through the scenario a thousand times, deciding each time just exactly how the moment could have played out. How exactly they had decided to not tell her of her mother's progressing ailment, why exactly they’d done it, and more importantly- how they’d lived with the lie. But somehow, miraculously, through all the iterations her mind always came back to this one. Her first day of deployment, her mother tucked away in a bedroom, her father remaining poised and diplomatic. Her mind replayed it like a collection of family photos, once lost only to be found again, heartwarming but cold.

 She slipped gently off of the bed, collecting her items before turning to regard Flynn’s sleeping form. She rifled through her pack to produce a folded parchment and an enchanted quill, hesitating as she stood there feeling vulnerable in entirely the wrong way. She was supposed to write something. She was supposed to do the right thing here. But how did one say in only so many words what she felt then? She had compartmentalized these feelings for so long, she’d built them up, broken them down, and packaged them neatly away into the recesses of her soul. Things had been different for months now, though. Little moments like this leaked their way out through a crack in the corner of her mind where she’d hidden them. She pushed the items back into her bag, cursing gently under her breath, and tip toeing gently from the room and down the hallway of his loft. She collected the remainder of her belongings, stealing a quick glass of water, which she downed in an instant, before exiting the home entirely.

[spazzyjedi]

Request?: Nope Warnings: over dose, drug use, fluff, soft!colby A/N: I've been wanting to write something for a while and was just waiting for some inspiration. Hopefully you guys like this. If you want to request something feel free! Song: Hold On - Chord Overstreet Word Count: 762

Colby entered the house calling out your name, when he heard no reply he went looking for you only to find a locked bathroom door. Things in your life weren’t how you wanted them to be. You were more than depressed and didn’t see any way out of it except for one. The cabinet full of pills from various doctor’s visits in the past. He finally managed to break through the bathroom door to find you on the bathroom floor. Quickly he knelt beside your body, pulling your frame into his whilst tears filled his eyes. He could feel a very faint heart beat and knew that you were still with him. “Please don’t leave me.” He cried out. He had to act fast. The only thing he could think of while driving was all the fond memories you two had. Even the fights seemed to dissipate. He just wanted you back breathing.

Arriving at the hospital he quickly explained what happened and they took you away leaving him standing in the hallway by himself. He paced back and forth waiting for the doctors to come give him any information. He continued replaying memories of the two of you kissing, holding hands, doing cutesy things and he wondered how he couldn’t of seen that it got this bad. He had promised himself that he would watch for signs and just the thought of him missing them made his gut wretch. The doctor’s came and said that you were stable and he could go and see you finally.

Entering your room, taking in the sight of you connected to the various machines. You were there but not. A mere ghost of yourself, he thought. He approached your bedside and grabbed your hand. “Hold on I still want you….come back I still need you….” The words were shaky but he managed. Bringing your hand to his lips as he pressed them to your cool skin. “y/n, please don’t leave me…” He nearly whispered as he moved his other hand to brush some hair away from your face, admiring your features. Even in this state he thought you were beautiful. Colby Brock wasn’t one for giving up, especially not on someone he loved.

Hours passed before you finally came to. With a groggy groan you turned your head and saw Colby lying beside you in the bed. He was asleep with his hand draped across your chest gently. The sight made you smile softly. Within seconds he shot upwards making you jump slightly. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said quickly as he moved to a sitting position. You laughed and shook your head. “I scared you.” You said simply, dropping your head and shaking it. “It’s okay.” He said softly, placing his hands on either side of your face before bringing his lips to yours in a passionate kiss. Tears sprung to your eyes as you returned the kiss, hands on his as you reluctantly pulled away.

“Things got bad. Worse than I thought. I couldn’t handle it. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t really want to die or anything. I just wanted the pain to stop.” You tried to explain. Colby shook his head, warding off the explanation. “I should have seen it coming and tried to stop you.” His eyes went dark as his head dropped. You reached over and placed a hand beneath his chin, tilting his head upwards. “None of this is your fault Colby. Yes I rely on you for a lot but this isn’t your fault. You’ve always been there for me and this would’ve been no different. I just couldn’t wait for you. I couldn’t….I couldn’t stop myself.” You continued and dropped your hand from his face, watching his features change.

“Can we just go home?” Colby asked, not only to you but to the doctor that had just walked in the room. “Well, she should stay overnight for observation.” This news didn’t please either of you. Your stomach sunk. You didn’t want to stay in the hospital. “Then I’ll stay here tonight and we’ll leave in the morning.” Colby told the doctor sternly. The doctor didn’t look like he wanted to argue or protest so he just left the room.

The morning came quicker than you’d expected and the doctor released you. After gathering your things and thanking the staff you looked over at Colby with bright eyes. “Baby, let’s go home.” He smiled brightly back at you and nodded his head, taking your hand in his and leaving the hospital.

[pinky-the-elephant-room]

Mirage

AN: Hellooo~ I’m in the mood for writing short SFW ficlets so I hope you guys enjoy. Just a short note the reader is not meant to be overweight in this fic, she’s likely someone of average weight for her height and maybe a couple of pounds overweight, but not someone you would call fat. She’s just in a new country surrounded by smaller women and so it’s making her insecure. Any foreigners who have been to Asian countries know how hard it is for us to find proper sizes and stuff like that, so please take this fic for what it is and don’t try to find things that aren’t there. Thanks <3. BTW 170 cm is 5′9 and 152 cm is 5′0. 

Warnings: Discussion of weight issues, unhealthy dieting and eating. Blackmail, culture shock, and homesickness. 

Bakugou x Foreigner Fem reader - SFW

---------------------

She picked at the food on the plate, the salad not doing anything for her appetite while she tried not to watch jealously as her classmates ate pizza and chicken. Y/N was the one who insisted on her prepared salads to eat for dinner while her classmates looked at her in confusion before shrugging.

Y/N looked up in surprise when the chair in front of her was now occupied with Bakugou.

“Here, shitty girl. I’ve seen you drooling after the pizza and chicken,” he grumbled as he slid the plate of food in front of her.

She eyed the food longingly but still shook her head.

“I can’t. I’ve prepared my meals already and it’s not my cheat day.”

The spikey blonde just scoffed and slammed his hand down on the table. The class quieted down and looked warily at Bakugou. Y/N just smiled at them and wave off their concerns.

Bakugou ignored everyone else and looked straight at her.

“You’re fucking dieting. You think I didn’t notice? You’re skipping meals, it would be fine if you were doing things properly. But you’re not, not with how hard you’re working and exercising while starving yourself at the same time.”

She bit her lips as she would feel her lips tremble and the lump in her throat get bigger. Y/N took a deep breath to calm down.

“It’s not that. I just need to lose a couple of pounds. So, that- I never mind. I promise I’m ok. “

The glare from Bakugou didn’t lessen but rather his stare got even harsher.

“Listen, dipshit. You’re going to explain it to me now or I’m not usually a snitch, but I’ll tell Aizawa exactly what’s happening.”

Knowing he would resort to blackmail didn’t endear the hothead to her.

“Fine. Let’s go out in the hallway I don’t need an audience.”

Both teens went out of the kitchen and into the hallways where the dorm rooms were.

He crossed his arms and looked expectantly at her.

“You know how I’m a foreigner, right?”

Bakugou rolled his eyes and sarcastically replied, “Che, when did that happen? It’s not like I couldn’t tell with your accent.”

“If you’re going to be an asshole. I don’t have to tell you.”

“Ya, but there’s also nothing stopping me from telling Aizawa. So, get to the point.”

The teens stood there exchanging glares before Y/N sighed and looked to the side.

“I’ve always been comfortable with my weight. I never had this problem until I came to Japan. When I was in California, I was considered fit and I could find clothes for myself easily. But since I came here everything is so small. All the girls here are tiny, and I can’t find things that fit me here. I’ve had to order from back home and ask my mother to ship it to Japan for me. Do you know how frustrating that is? And when I do find something it’s always baggy and unattractive. None of the girls in 1-A have to wear extra-large just to get something that will cover their bodies. I feel like an overgrown pig. What am I even doing here? I still suck at Kanji and I miss my family so much.”

The last point hit home for Y/N as she burst into tears and covered her mouth to control the sobs. Y/N slid down to the floor and stayed there.

“You’re so stupid.” She looked up to see Bakugou also crouching next to her.

He continued, “you’re stupid if you think a 170cm girl is supposed to look the same as a 152 cm girl. You don’t look like a pig; you look strong and dependable. Like you would have my back in the toughest fights. I don’t trust any of the shrimps to back me up. As for your damn kanjis, I told you to ask me for help, didn’t I? Also, when was the last time you called your family?”

She mumbled “three weeks ago” underneath her breath. Y/N heard Bakugou let out a hiss and look at her disapprovingly. He must have gotten that from all the times Aizawa-sensei stared him down after he did something stupid.

“Alright, you’re going to get your ass back in there and eat as much as you want. And then you're going to call your family. And why the fuck do you wanna dress like everyone else? Your clothes are fine, none of that cutesy bullshit. I like you better in shorts anyway.”

Y/N blushed at the compliment, most of her clothes were practical ones with shorts and long t-shirts nothing special, but apparently, her classmate appreciated it.

“Since you’re so keen on solving all my problems. Where can I get a bra that fits?” she asked jokingly.

Bakugou sputtered angrily as his face became red with embarrassment. Y/N let out a delighted laugh at his reaction.

“Oy! Don’t you laugh at me, stupid girl.”

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. His face became even redder and he jerked his face to the side, trying to hide it in vain.

“Thanks, Bakugou. I owe you one. Come on, let’s go see if they finished all the pizza.”

[shuadotcom]

The Smell of Spring | KTH

✿ Pairing: Taehyung x Female!Reader ✿ Genre: Fluff, slice of life, established relationship ✿ Word Count: 1.6k ✿ Rating: G ✿ Warnings: None ✿ Summary: Taehyung loves procrastinating almost as much as he loves you. ✿ A/N: This is an older work of mine that I’ve edited and re-written. A simple little fluffy piece.

"Noona, I don't want to do this!" Taehyung whined, throwing his hands in the air.

You looked up from your laptop at your boyfriend who was frowning so hard you were sure his mouth would become stuck that way. "Taehyung, you don't even have much left to do. You only have like half a page left of questions."

Taehyung dropped his head onto the dining room table and made a high pitched groaning noise. "But it's half a page too much! Besides, it's so nice outside and we're stuck inside doing work!" He gestured to the open window closest to you. You absolutely loved spring and all of the smells it brought with it. Grass that was finally growing again, flowers that were blooming, the fresh air that was transitioning from cold to warm. You made sure to always leave your windows open during the day so the smells could waft into the apartment.

"Well, I only have a page left of my paper to type so when we're both finished, we can go to the park and get ice cream."

"Or...we could go now." He beamed at you and batted his eyelashes.

"Your cutesy act won't work today, Tae." The brunette boy pouted and let out a sigh. He looked down at the computer screen in front of him, finding it completely uninteresting. He was trying to be more serious about becoming more fluent in English, but he was not feeling it today. He glanced back over at you and saw how intensely you were staring at your screen as your fingers flew over the keyboard.

"Hey, babe, what class are you doing homework for again?" He asked.

You glanced up at Taehyung briefly. "I’m writing a paper for my sociology class.”

“Do you like that class?” 

“It’s fine. My professor is a little boring, but overall it’s pretty interesting.” You went back to typing, slipping back into the zone. 

"What’s your favorite class out of the ones you’re taking this semester?” He asked after a few more minutes of silence.

"Taehyung, stop procrastinating, and do your work." You deadpanned, already knowing what he was trying to do.

Taehyung let out a groan of defeat and rested his chin in the palm of his hand. "I really hate this."

You loved your boyfriend, but truly you had never met anyone so dramatic (okay that was a lie seeing how you knew both Park Jimin and Kim Seokjin). "I told you I would help you if you needed it. Did you forget that English is my first language?"

“And I told you that I can do this by myself. It’s not learning if you tell me the answers, duh babe.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Well then shut it and learn something!” Your tone was joking as you looked for the closest thing next to you to throw at him. You grabbed a nearby napkin you had used to wipe some dust off of your computer screen, balled it up, and tossed it across the table, watching it bounce off of Taehyung’s nose. You couldn’t help the loud laugh that slipped out of you as you looked at his blank expression.

"Noona, did you just throw a used napkin at me?" His tone was flat and he wore his signature, extremely intimidating stare.

"Y-yes?" Judging by the look on his face, you weren't sure whether or not you wanted to answer him. Taehyung was up and around the table in a flash. His hands were at your sides in an instant and he somehow managed to wrestle you to the carpet in between your shrieks.

You continued to thrash and giggle while Taehyung's long fingers dug into your sides. "K-Kim Taehyung, you stop it th-this instant!" Between Taehyung's weight on you and your hysterical laughter, you were having a hard time breathing, plus, you felt as though you’d wet yourself soon if he kept it up.

With a few more prods to your soft skin, Taehyung finally stopped, his hands going to either side of your head so you could get your breathing back. Your cheeks were a bright red and you were panting, but there was still a smile on your lips.

"You suck," you whispered.

"But you love me," Taehyung said matter of factly. He smiled down warmly at you, making your heart flutter. You did love him. A lot.

The two of you stayed like that for a few more minutes before Taehyung leaned down, his lips ghosting over your ear. You felt your heartbeat pick up because of your proximity and in anticipation as to what he'd say.

"Noona, can we go out and get ice cream now?" You scoffed and pushed his chest to get him from above you.

"That's all you're using me for, isn't it!? To buy you sweet frozen treats!" You exclaimed teasingly.

"No, of course not. I'm also using you for your amazing beef stew which I hope we're having for dinner." He flashed you another wonderful smile. You rolled your eyes and shimmied away from the younger boy.

"Fine. I'll grab my purse then we'll go get ice cream, but after that, we are coming right back and you are finishing your studies! Promise?"

"Yes, I promise!" Taehyung jumped to his feet and saluted you before running to the front door for his shoes. You followed behind him at a normal pace to gather your things.

Not even twenty minutes later, you two were strolling hand in hand in the park, both enjoying your ice cream. It was warm out but not hot enough for either of you to complain. The wind was blowing slightly, occasionally making your skirt billow at your knees. You made sure to savor the times like this that you spent together.

Being with Taehyung when he wasn't busy recording song lyrics or practicing choreography was your favorite. It was the days when he was off and he could relax that you loved. It's not that you weren't supportive, you were just concerned. No matter how much he claimed he had everything under control and that he was fine, he was still only a person. You had seen him practice the same dance moves over and over again until he looked ready to pass out. He had spent days, nearly weeks with you, forgetting to eat or hydrate when his mind was focused on a comeback. He was the most precious person to you and you made sure to never take his time with you for granted.

"Hello!? Y/n!?" You were taken from your reverie by Taehyung's hand waving wildly in your face. You blinked and looked up at him.

"Yes?"

"You were spacing out. I was trying to tell you about the park in Tokyo that the guys and I went to, but you weren't listening," he said before taking a few licks of his ice cream cone.

"I was paying attention!"

Taehyung shook his head quickly. "No, you weren't. When you're thinking about something important, your eyebrows scrunch up and your lips do this really cute pouty thing."

You opened your mouth to object then shut it. It wasn't the first time someone had told you that your facial expressions were like a guide to what you were thinking or feeling. Jungkook made fun of you all of the time because you had the worst poker face in the world and always told you that being a professional liar was most certainly not in your future. You sighed and gripped Taehyung's hand tighter. "It's just that...I'm really happy you have these next few weeks off is all."

That bright, boxy smile you loved so much broke out across Taehyung's face. "I'm happy I do too! I'm so glad I get to spend so much time with my favorite girl." He released your hand only to loop his long arm around your shoulders and pull you closer to his body. You wrapped your arm around his waist and made sure there was barely any space between your bodies. Taehyung leaned down, catching your lips in a short, sweet kiss. You felt your face flush for the second time that day because of Kim Taehyung. 

When he pulled away, he winked at you before placing a second kiss on your forehead and resuming the walk. You decided to keep your other thoughts to yourself and let the warm, comfortable silence between the two of you hang in the air for a bit longer. You wanted to enjoy the moment with him and pushed any thoughts of worry to the side.

Once you had your fill of fresh air and your ice cream was long gone, you returned to your apartment. Taehyung immediately made a bee-line to your small kitchen, but you quickly grabbed his wrist and stopped him in his tracks.

"You stop right there! English work first, then I'll start dinner. You just had ice cream anyway. You promised you'd finish when we got back, remember?" Taehyung let out a long sigh before trudging over to the dining room table and plopping in front of his long-forgotten laptop. You smiled and went back to your homework, trying to figure out where you had left off.

"You know, I'm only doing this because I love you," Taehyung mumbled after a few minutes of sulking.

"I love you too, Taehyung." He didn't reply, but you saw the corners of his mouth quirk up into a tiny smile even though he kept his head down. You felt his jean-clad leg rub against yours before they intertwined under the table. You stayed like that as you both worked, letting this simple, seemingly plain gesture say everything else you wanted to say to each other and more.

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

The Fire

First off I want to say that I visited Wang LingJiao a little while ago and she told me it was okay to write about this. This is her story as much as mine, really. 

She’s doing okay by the way. She got caught up in the initial blast but I managed to get her to safety before any super serious damage happened to her. Her broken arm is healing nicely and said thanks to me there should only be very minimal scarring on her leg. 

She… is not someone I thought I would get this close to. Our personalities don’t really mesh well and she’s rather abrasive when she’s not being sickeningly cutesy. And really at first we didn’t get along at all. 

She was dating a Wen. Wen Chao. So, I know what you’re probably thinking. “But Wei Ying! The Wens are good people! They took you in and took care of you!”

Yes this is true. So like the Wen family, on the whole, is terrible. Basically they’re a big crime family. They’ve got their hands in everything. Like think the actual mafia. But no one can ever pin anything on them because they have judges and lawyers and police in their pocket and blah blah blah. And they always scare people out of testifying against them through threats and shit. 

I mean you’ll never find anything on paper, but everyone knows it anyway. Just a common fact of life. You don’t fuck with the Wens.

Well the Wens that I love are technically related to that main family, but they’re an off-shoot. They branched out to live the quiet life and are wholly uninvolved with the main family. It’s part of why they’re struggling. They get all the stigma of the Wen name without any of the protection or support of the main Wen family. 

Wen Qing is amazing though. She scraped together a medical career and uses it to help as many people as she can. I think it’s her way of trying to make up for her cousins’ sins. Like that’s her job to do. But even beyond that she just likes to help people. She’s got a sharp tongue but underneath it all Wen Qing is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. 

Anyway. Main Wen Clan = Bad, MY Wens = Good! And my Wens =/= Main Wen Clan. 

So Wen Chao. He’s a piece of work. To put it simply. He’s the son of the head of the family and is just as much of a dick as you’d expect. He and A-Jiao were dating for a while and I guess she broke it off? Lady’s got balls of steel because, as she’s intimated to me since then, when you date Wen Chao you wait for him to break up with you. NEVER the other way around. 

She’d been half in hiding when I met her, which is why she moved into our shitty apartment complex. At first nothing came of it. I knew about her and had spoken once or twice. Enough to know that she was kinda bitchy and that I wasn’t really interested in getting to ‘know her better’ as she put it. (That is I was never interested in that to begin with and she was apparently a bit put out that I didn’t respond to her flirting? I didn’t know she was flirting but whatever I guess.) 

Either way. No chemistry. Not interested in being friends. Whatever. She left me to my business most of the time so I just left her alone. But one day I heard a scream coming from her apartment followed by the sounds of banging and scuffling. We weren’t exactly close, but I wasn’t gonna just not see what was going on?

I rushed over and knocked on her door. I don’t think I even remembered her name at that point. There was another yelp and it sounded like she’d been thrown against something. It was quiet then so I tried the door and knocked again when I found it was locked. 

There was the sound of low voices and then after another moment she opened the door. I could tell she’d tried to put herself back together. I could see where her mascara had been wiped away from where it’d been running down her cheek, creating a dark shadow over the bruise that was starting to show already. Her lip had been bitten and I could see blood at the corner. Her hair was a mess. 

She snapped at me to go away. Said she had it under control. 

I.. didn’t even think. I should have called the cops but what would they have done? And I didn’t have a phone on me anyway. 

I just.. Pushed her back and forced my way inside, putting me between her and whoever it was that was in the apartment. Turns out Wen Chao came in person with one of his goons. What an honor. 

I know she was yelling at me. Telling me this was none of my business. But she was scared and hurt and I wasn’t gonna stand by and do nothing. 

The rest… was a bit of a blur. I grabbed something. A bat? Yeah I think. She has one that she keeps by the door in case she needs to beat up an intruder. I must have grabbed that. Wen Chao stood back at first. I managed to take out the goon and… 

Listening to A-Jiao’s testimony, apparently I ended up wrestling a gun away from Wen Chao. I remember holding it. Pointing it at him. 

I almost pulled the trigger… I wanted to… I was so close… But.. she put her hand on my arm.. And for a moment.

This is ridiculous but I saw my Shijie in her. Telling me that it was enough. To put the gun down. 

A-Jiao...Jiao-Jie she told me to call her after all we’ve been through. She’s nothing like Shijie… but…. 

My family keeps growing in the strangest ways, doesn’t it?

She told me to put the gun down and I did. Wen Chao ran off, promising it wouldn’t be the last we’d see of them. 

I was shaking. I couldn’t let go of the gun even though it was pointed at the floor now.

I almost killed someone. Even if it was someone like Wen Chao. 

That… that anger… the resentment… it scared me. I was really going to kill him. Someone I’d never even met before. It still scares me. 

In the end it was the gun that helped us win the case. Jiao-Jie and I talked for a long time after that and after she stopped yelling at me for ‘making things worse’ she was willing to listen to what I had to say. 

She said that if I’d left things alone he would have just hit her until he got bored and left. 

I maintained that 

How long until he got bored?

How does she know he wouldn’t come back?

How badly did she think she was gonna get hurt before he was satisfied?

Besides I can’t just sit there when someone’s getting hurt. I can’t. 

So I told her this way we could press charges. Get her some real protection. We ended up doing a lot of research into the legal system. Went through a lot of people to find some lawyers we could trust. Some that we didn’t think would get bought.  Wen Qing helped a lot. She wasn’t a part of the main family anymore but she still had a lot of valuable insight. I took Jiao-Jie to see her and get patched up. 

We worked together to build a case against him. Since I didn’t have a family for him to threaten and wasn’t scared of physical violence against myself he couldn’t scare me off. 

There was no reason for him to think I was connected to his cousin either so they were safe. (Wen Chao, it turns out, is not the brightest bulb)

I kept most of this quiet because of obvious reasons until the trial. In the end we won. I’d turned the gun in to evidence and there were pictures of my injuries and Jiao-Jie’s as well as our testimonies as evidence. They tried to scare me off a few times but I still showed up.

Actually I’m pretty sure them trying to scare me off is why I got stabbed that one time but I can’t prove it. 

But anyway. 

Anyway

It feels like we were working on this case for a million years. But we won. We managed to win the case!

I mean it was little more than a slap on the wrist for him, but still! We beat a Wen! In the end his father posted his bail and got his sentence reduced. But the restraining order stuck.  He wasn’t allowed to come anywhere near Jiao-Jie or contact her. 

For all the good it did. 

It was late when I heard the first boom. An explosion went off. Loud enough to make my ears ring. I heard a scream and it was so similar to that first night but so different. And then the smell of smoke and the sound of rubble and the faint screeching of an alarm as things collapsed. I ran out to her door. I remember having to smash it open. My hearing came back about then. I could hear the screaming of the fire alarm then and the roar of the fire. How could there be so much so quickly?

I remember calling for her. Where was she? I remember hoping against hope that she was out celebrating with her friends or something. But no. There. She was stuck with her arm pinned under something. Some large piece of furniture. I was almost to her when the sound of another explosion going off shook our world again. A bookshelf fell forward and I just managed to block it with my own body before it fell on her. It would have fallen on her head and she was trapped. She couldn’t have gotten away. 

I don’t know how I got out of that. I know that’s probably when my hair caught fire. I remember her reaching up to try to push the bookshelf off of me and pat out the flames all at once. It hurt so bad. But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t leave her there. 

She was coughing and yelling at me to get out. But I wouldn’t. How could I? I remember she managed to leverage her legs over against the bookshelf and together we managed to shift it over. Books falling all around us like little fireballs. Catching the rug and blankets and whatever else. 

We kicked the bookshelf aside and I remember having to find a board or something to help lift the thing on her arm. What even was it? I can’t remember. I just know it was heavy and too hot to hold. I levered it up and got her arm out. 

We hung onto each other and managed to pull each other out of the flaming apartments. Found out later… 

I was saved by a fluke. The bombs were supposed to go off at the same time. I was… it was right where I was sitting. It almost guaranteed would have killed me if I hadn’t gone to check on Jiao-Jie. 

Well, Madam Yu always did say I was gonna get myself killed sticking my nose in other people’s business. Guess she was right. 

But I got lucky this time. I’ll have some scarring on my chest and shoulder. A little behind my ear where my hair caught. But it could have been so much worse. 

By the time we got out I could hear the sound of sirens in the distance, difficult over the roaring of flames still in my ears. I managed to pass Jiao-Jie to someone before I fell over. I think someone caught me. No idea who. 

I was in a bit of a daze for a while. I remember someone starting to look at me. I told them I was fine and to look at my neighbor first. She was much worse off. 

Someone was talking about a hospital. Can’t afford a hospital, was all I could think. Then I thought… Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan would help. 

It was almost morning. I started to walk. I managed to slip past everyone in the commotion and just kept walking. I had my phone and keys in my pocket - I’d never bothered to change that night so I was at least not wearing pajamas.  It was so early there was hardly anyone around to gasp at me. I must have looked monstrous. 

One foot. Then another.

Step.

Step.

Step…

I don’t know how long it took me to get there. It seemed to take years and no time at all. I don’t... Know what was going through my head. Clearly I was still in shock and should have stayed where I was but. Well. I’m an idiot. 

I remember seeing that there were people in the cafe. I didn’t want to bother anyone. I just wanted to hide. I just wanted Lan Zhan. 

I snuck into his apartment to wait. The apartment was safe. Lan Zhan was safe. 

Lan Zhan helped me before. Lan Zhan could help me now.

I realize now that I never should have put this on him. 

It really wasn’t fair to him. 

I know I hid. I don’t..really know why. There’s a space in the livingroom. Between the couch and the wall. 

I think… I think I didn’t want to disturb him. If he came up while he was working. I didn’t want to bother him.

I’d forgotten I was supposed to be working myself. Not that I was in any state to. Apparently he’d been looking for his phone to call me. He’d tried from the cafe’s phone and I didn’t hear it go off. 

Didn’t hear it go off when he called me from his cell either but apparently that’s how he found me.  I don’t know how long he’d been calling my name. 

I finally snapped out of it when I heard something about an ambulance. I think it connected back to where I was after the fire. No hospital. No ambulance. 

I grabbed his wrist, trying weakly to pull his phone away from his ear even though he hadn’t even started to dial yet. 

“No hospital. Lan Zhan.”

I was asking for him, not realizing he was the one I was talking to yet. It only lasted a second but it was so jarring. Lan Zhan. I was begging for Lan Zhan but there he was. I don’t think he even registered that I was asking for him. 

I repeated myself though. Not the hospital. I didn’t want to leave him. Lan Zhan was safe. Lan Zhan is home. I couldn’t stand the thought of being separated from him. I was pleading to him to let me stay, though all I could manage to say was that. He looked so lost. So worried. But he nodded. And he agreed. No hospitals. 

I threw myself at him. I don’t know if I was able to feel pain at that point or if I was just in so much pain that a little more didn’t register. I remember him trying to be careful as he held me back. I know he didn’t want to hurt me more. I must have smelled like ash and cinder. But he didn’t complain. He just buried his face in my charred off hair and let me sob on him. 

I… don’t really know how long I was holding on to him but suddenly Shijie was there. Had he called to her? I hadn’t heard. Or maybe he managed to text her. I wasn’t paying attention. I was just trying to breathe. To smell anything other than smoke. To take comfort in his arms. 

Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan is safe. Lan Zhan is home. Lan Zhan. 

She asked what happened. Lan Zhan said there must have been a fire. 

Just thinking about it. I started shaking again. Maybe I’d never stopped? I’m better now but fire still puts me a bit on edge. I gotta get over it but I’m taking it slow. 

I remember the two of them trying to get me to let go. Let go of Lan Zhan. Unacceptable. Impossible. No no no. 

But eventually I realized it wasn’t to take him away but just to move me to Shijie instead. 

That… that I could do. I’ve cried in her arms more than she deserves but what was one more I guess? And she wanted to hold me. She told me so. And Shijie only tells me the honest truth. So who am I to deny her anything?

But then she said something to him and he left. 

He left he left. I panicked because Lan Zhan. My safety. 

But Shijie was there. And she managed to calm me again with soft words that I don’t think I fully heard. But the sound of her voice. Her hand so careful on the bits of me that weren’t raw and burned. 

Eventually I calmed down enough to let go. Shiji lamented the loss of my beautiful hair as she gently cleaned up some of the worst of my burns. We couldn’t just leave them untreated,she’d said.  I didn’t care just then but I didn’t say no when she offered to trim it up for me. In the end we had to crop it short. The fire hadn’t gone quite to my scalp but it had burned my ear. 

Shijie… I didn’t really look, couldn’t get myself, until much much later. But she did a pretty good job. I don’t think I’ve ever had hair this short and I don’t think I’d ever willingly do it again, but to her credit she did a great job. For what it is. It’s still so weird to run my fingers through it though and have it just… end. 

She was almost done when Wen Qing arrived. Apparently Lan Zhan had called her and she had brought Wen Ning and A-Yuan with her so that Lan Zhan could come back to me.

Aaahh Wen Qing. I love you, you glorious woman. 

Shijie took the soft towel she’d draped around me and they peeled off the remnants of what used to be my shirt and pants off so Wen Qing could look me over. 

I was lucky. Mostly it was 1st and 2nd degree burns. A little bit on my chest was 3rd but it was small enough that we didn’t have to worry about skin grafts or anything serious like that. All in all we needed to keep it clean and bandaged and I would heal in a matter of weeks. 

And with Wen Qing’s treatment and Lan Zhan’s care I did heal. The worst of the scarring is over my heart. A brand I’ll carry for life. 

But that’s okay. It’s a sign that I protected someone. I earned that scar and managed to save Jiao-Jie. I’ll wear that proudly until I die. 

I remember Wen Qing was telling us some care instructions. Wisely she told them to Lan Zhan because fuck if I was gonna remember. 

Lan Zhan… I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him for long. He looked so worried and serious as he listened to the instructions, nodding as he understood.  

Eventually the two of them left. I know at some point Shijie called Jiang Cheng to tell him what happened. I got a phone call from him later asking about me in his gruff way of being concerned. It was good to hear his voice. 

For the rest of that night I stayed by Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan is safe and that’s the idea that stuck in my mind. And bless him he let me. 

He made salads for us to eat that night so that he wouldn’t have to use the stove or oven. Was he wary about them too? Or did he just know that I was? Probably the latter. He’s so.. Good. 

I think… at some point I fell asleep on him. You know. Like old times. I leaned against him on the couch and the next thing I was aware he was gently nudging me awake so he could change the bandages. I was confused at first. Where had the sun gone? I didn’t remember falling asleep. He seemed sorry to wake me but he was right. Wen Qing had said to change the bandages before bed and in the morning. At the very least. 

So I grumbled and let him help me remove the shirt of his I’d borrowed.

You know… since all my clothes were lost to a fiery inferno.

I started thinking about that as he started undoing the bandages to rub ointment on my burns. 

So many people are without homes now. Half that building burned down. And the rest isn’t structurally sound now. All because some ass hole couldn’t take being dumped? 

Because I couldn’t stay out of other people’s business. 

But… there has to be a line, right? The Wens are all powerful because people are afraid of this shit. But we won once, right? So who’s to say someone couldn’t win again? And maybe even with something bigger. Because we showed them they can’t just do whatever they want. There are consequences.

But.. there are consequences to those consequences. And more pain. And more victims. 

My thoughts were beginning to spiral again. But every time they did, I heard Lan Zhan’s voice. Telling me it was okay. That I was safe. And it brought me back. 

I was safe. I was with Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan is safe. Lan Zhan is home. 

Over and over in my heart. Lan Zhan.

He asked me to turn around but all I could concentrate on was the feeling of his hand on my waist. I held it, pulled it around me. I would turn. In a minute. But for now I needed him. I needed Lan Zhan. I needed to feel my home around me. I’d lost one home. And then another. But I wasn’t going to let anything take this home from me. My Lan Zhan. 

He asked me to let him treat my chest after a while - the worst of my injuries. I nodded and slowly turned. Somehow I’d managed to get on his lap. Had I done that? Or had he?

I know it probably wasn’t helpful, but I held on to his neck while he worked. I could feel his pulse under my fingers and it was so important. That pulse. 

I was the one who’d almost died but somehow all I could think about was the fear of losing him. What if it was him they’d gone after instead? What if… what if…

If I ever lost him… I don’t know what I’d….

I can’t think about it. 

He wrapped me up in clean bandages that Wen Qing had provided. But his hands didn’t leave… he smoothed them flat with such a gentle touch and then…

I watched him lean forward. He pressed a kiss over the burn on my chest. Over my heart. I could barely feel it, he was so gentle, but it burned in an altogether much more pleasant kind of way. I watched him move, completely transfixed. I couldn’t look away. And when he looked up again.

His eyes caught mine. He was so close. I could feel his breath on my lips. 

I didn’t even think about it. I surged forward and closed the distance. 

Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan. 

I kissed him with everything I had and he was kissing me back. 

The world melted away and all I could feel was him. I couldn’t smell the smoke. I couldn’t feel the fire. I just knew him. 

My world narrowed down into the touch of his hands and the feeling of his mouth opening against mine. The sound of my name spoken against my lips. So soft. Yet rough. Raw. Perfect.

I was lost. 

I remember shifting with each leg on either side of him. I just needed to be closer. In any way closer. To let this light feeling chase out the rest of the fires that licked the back of my mind still. 

And he made this.. This SOUND. 

Dear god. 

Fuck.

He kissed me harder and I couldn’t find a way to keep my hands still. I clutched at him His hair. His shoulder. His hip. His back. I just needed him closer to me. 

And then I was on my back, Lan Zhan pressed so close against me. 

It wasn’t until I felt the sting of my burns rubbing against the bandages that I snapped back to reality. 

When I realized how wrong what I was doing was. 

I’d just lost everything. I’d lost my home and everything I owned (well almost everything. I had some stuff at Lan Zhan’s but that’s neither here nor there). 

I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I was hurt and scared and desperate. And I used that to get him to kiss me. 

I didn’t do that intentionally, true, but what was he going to do? Push me away? Tell me no?

Lan Zhan is so good. And if that’s what he thought I needed…. He’d give that to me even if it wasn’t something he wanted. 

It was selfish. It was manipulative. It was wrong. I was wrong. 

And what’s worse… 

What’s worse. 

He regretted it. Immediately. Worse than any burn I’d received I think… my heart truly broke when he pulled away from me. 

“Sorry. Sorry. I shouldn’t have.”

Fuck. I can hear it so clearly even now. He shouldn’t have. Even though I’m the one that manipulated him he was the one saying sorry. 

I pushed away from him as fast as I could. He mentioned something about my wounds and I just said it was fine.

How could they hurt compared to what else I was feeling. The shame. The mortification. 

And even then.

Even then. 

All I wanted to do was kiss him again. 

I ran away then. To the guest room. I think I said goodnight. Said I was tired. And I ran. 

I couldn’t trust myself around him right then. I couldn’t trust I wouldn’t try to throw myself at him again.

Because I’d had a taste and now it’s all I can think about. Every time I’m with him, alone or otherwise. I remember the feeling of his lips on mine. The taste of his skin. The feeling of his hair under my fingertips. His heart beating against mine. 

I shake with the memory. I..

Uugh… 

So I ran. Because that’s all I know how to do. I hadn’t used that guest room in forever. We always just share his room. We’re both more comfortable that way.  And… well maybe that was selfish of me too. Tricking him into sharing things platonically with me when they’re anything but platonic on my end. 

How many things would he have done differently if he knew how I felt about him? Is it wrong? Tricking him this way? Would he push me away if he knew?

We talked the next day. I told him.. That the kiss was nothing. It was just a rush of emotion from the fire. That it didn’t have to change anything between us.

He agreed.

And my heart broke again. 

But even so.. I don’t know… what would I have done if he’d said no? That he wanted it to mean something? That he wanted to kiss me again?

I… I hope I’d have pushed him away. I.. I hope I would have been strong enough.

Because… Ugh this is complicated. 

But in this situation. He couldn’t have possibly consented. And neither could I. There’s too many high emotions and extenuating circumstances. 

Neither of us could truly say that those outside factors didn’t affect things. 

Because they did. They do.

I have nowhere else to go. I’m completely dependent on him. He’s provided my job and my home until I get things figured out on my own. And he already knows that I’m in emotional turmoil. He’s already dealt with me trying not to shut down from an emotional blow just a month ago. And to be honest, I’m not 100% recovered from that either. 

So how can he say no if I asked him to date me? To kiss me? Does he risk me falling into that pit again? 

Of course not. 

So I can’t trust that it’d be something he really wanted. Not like this. 

And so it’s good, really, that he agreed we were still just friends. That the kiss was only that. Just a kiss. Nothing more. Nothing less.

The heat of the moment. 

And it didn’t change anything. 

I know that it’s good that he agreed. That it’s the only answer I could accept. But…

It hurt. It hurt so bad. 

I still shake with that pain. My burns are healed and the bandages are gone. My skin is a bit tender but even that will fade. 

But that pain. Of having tasted what I could have had and having to turn away from it. 

And. And I want to clarify. HE didn’t hurt me. I did it to myself. Lan Zhan would never hurt me. Could never hurt me. It wasn’t him. It was me. 

I broke my own heart.

We agreed things wouldn’t change.. But they did. It was… it was so tense. In a way that I’d never felt with him. Things said and unsaid hung between us. 

I was still staying in the spare room. I wasn’t sleeping. Every time I tried I heard Jiao-Jie’s scream. I smelled the fire. 

In my mind Lan Zhan was there. Trapped under the fire. And I couldn’t help him. Couldn’t save him. 

And it was all my fault. 

And when I woke up in a cold sweat after not really sleeping to begin with. All I could do was go to the livingroom. To where I could still smell the smoke. 

And I scrubbed. I tried to scrub away the smell. The soot. The memory. 

I scrubbed until all I could smell was the cleaner instead. But then the next night the smoke was back

And I scrubbed. 

It aggravated my hands. The burns on my fingers hurt so bad.

But I couldn’t stop.

I scrubbed.

I… I don’t know if Lan Zhan ever found out. I’m pretty sure at this point dust is repelled by the mere memory of my elbow-grease there. 

I didn’t stop until the third night. Lan Zhan came to me. He asked me if it was okay if I stayed with him again. In his room. 

He said he didn’t want to lose what we had before all this mess. That he missed me. 

I was.. I was powerless against that. Because all I wanted to do was to bury myself in his arms. To have him hold me. Keep me safe. 

So I agreed. It was what we both wanted. It was how we were both happiest.

So it’s okay, right?

And… oh… oh the nightmares… They’re not gone, but they’re so much better. I can sleep through the night most times and when I start awake it’s soft enough that I don’t wake him up. And I can stare at his sleeping face for a bit and get back to sleep again after. 

And things are better. Between us. I mean I’m still an idiot and was clearly making things worse still seeing as he even had to talk to me about it on Christmas Eve, but I’ll talk about that later. 

But overall… things were better. Are better. 

Especially. Since…. 

Okay I can’t talk about Christmas right now. It’s too much all at once. 

Next time. I promise. 

[jyunshiim]

𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗈𝗋𝗇; 𝗋𝖾𝗃𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗌𝗈 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽༆

Genre and themes: hanahaki!au | unrequited love | fictional themes | unwanted love | college!au | fem! reader X Hendery | fem! X Xiaojun |

TW:  blood

Listen to:  Moonrise by Day6  | 4am playlist

➪  You wait patiently. Quarter to 7am is when you leave your mellow apartment, that you rent out, to get to your university. It was a 1 long, boresome train ride to get to Seoul University; you studied incredibly hard just to pass the entrance exams so you were always determined to be on time and not miss a day. not even one. The sun was rising, setting the city aglow and despite just being past dawn, people were bustling around in the university already, grabbing coffee from the local cafe or a sweet treat they craved that morning from the nearby patisserie for their breakfast. Seoul was absolutely magical.

8:10am: You had an early Biology lecture that morning and you barely had time to grab something energising, not even an energy drink but it was common for you to miss breakfast for the first 3 hours. The air was light and comfortable enough to walk to classes. In summer, there were clusters  of sweaty students scattered on the verdant greenery of the school making it very hard to walk through. The hallways were incommodious and it was impossible to walk through without feeling the heat and stickiness of everyone skin brushing against yours and the pungent aroma of sweat. The lecturer was already in the room and a few students were dispersed around waiting for the lecture to start.You went and sat at the seat you always sit at -since first year university -and you put your belongings down on the desk and got out your textbook, small white pencil case and your apricot coloured, spiral spined notebook which you just purchased last week. you clear your throat quietly and put a strand of you dark hair behind your ear before you scroll through your phone to pass the last 10 minutes of waiting time, replying to messages from your best friends.

Coffee club-

You had a group chat with your friends; Sicheng, Hanna, Minseo, and Xiaojun. Xiaojun always treated you so politely since you were kids.you both went to the same high school and you were always seen as a cutesy couple but you both weren’t, of course.You guys were close but never shared any romantic feelings for each other, at least you didn’t. They were talking about meeting at ‘Kangmin’s Koffee’ after University; The cafe had always been a place where you all hung out after uni and shared what happened in the day over coffee. Of course you’d say yes because you love your friends so much. 

10:55am: 

After university, you packed up your textbooks and walked out of the lecture room sighing at your study schedule. You would notice students waiting outside the room and one of them was familiar to you,perhpas because you’ve seen him around with Sicheng and his friend Yangyang – but never actually knew his name. You signed out swiftly and walked out of campus and took a right and to the dainty little cafe cafe adorned with pink blossoming flowers and wooden chairs and tables.The cafe was opposite this beautiful florist that captivated all the local people. The flowers were always fresh and almost had a nostalgic sense to it. you just wished someone would surprise you with a bouquet but that was impossible since you never had time for relationships. Sicheng scooted up next to Xiaojun and the waitress brough over the 5 coffees that they ordered before you came. “i know you like hazelnut coffee with extra ice so thats what i ordered you,” Xiaojun smiled playfully giving a gentle nudge. You took a sip of the coffee and indulged in the saccharine coffee, the flavours mingling with one another, the caffeine flowing through your bloodstream. It was heavenly to you and only Xiaojun knew you had such a sweet tooth.

“ew stop acting like a couple,” Minseo spoke in her soft gentle voice covering her eyes jokily. 

“we are not dating!” you giggle and push him away and he sits and smiles at you endearingly. 

“you both look like you wanna eat each others face,” Sicheng teases and jokes with Xiaojun and Xiaojun gets defensive.

“I DONT,” his cheeks flare up a blazing red. He gets flustered and you all laugh but you comfort him. The atmosphere was entrancing, the laughter of you and your friends echoing down the bustling streets and the last bit of warmth fading into horizon along with the sunshine. September was one of your favourite months for this exact reason. Xiaojun always walked you to the train station before vanishing as soon as you board and go on your way. 

You walk into your dorm. The fragrant rose scented room invited you to your cosy apartment, the white fluffy rug between your toes making you feel as if you were  on a cloud, the warm fair luminescent lights hung from the ceiling giving the room a relaxing atmosphere. You sigh and sink into your mattress curling up into a ball but the chime of your phone alerted you. As you looked down at the bright screen, you drag down to see the notification. Of course it was Xiaojun.  

Xiaojun: hey, get home safe?

YN: yeah i got home okay, quicker than usual to be honest

Xiaojun: okay good! what you doing now?

YN: Probably going to make dinner now, how about you? you better not be playing games again and forgetting to eat:/ make sure you eat okay

you sounded like you care too much about every aspect but it’s fine you’re just friends, you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.....

Xiaojun: yea i will, i’m studying for my Korean writing exam it’s so hard :<

YN: you’ll do well, i promise you :< ily

Xiaojun: you too! and thanks yn i know you will always give me the support 

Xiaojun offline

University was normal for the past month but as October came around, you felt this wave of motivation flood you. You wanted to change something or do something nice for yourself.  A cool halcyon autumns afternoon you and your friends met again at the cafe. It was a lot breezier outside than the last month; the sky was a painted an orangey pink hue and the street lamps illuminating the streets already. Whilst walking 20 minutes earlier to the usual spot, a thought sparked in your mind. You thought to get yourself some flowers for you apartment to fit with the autumnal theme. The glass door opens and the tingling chimes sound throughout the store and a worker gets behind the counter.The various fresh floral scents wafted past you; roses, lilies, gypsophilias and other various flowers and plants. You look around to see what variety there is and what you want for your bouquet-

“hey do you need any help,” a worker speaks to you. 

“i was wondering if i could get a combination of the pink roses and the gypsophilias?” You ask before whipping your head around to see a young boy, the same age as you you presumed and you paused examining his face. where have you seen him?

“wait, do you go to Seoul Uni?” you say with a sweet smile 

The boy smiles and you notice his little flower brooch; Hendery. “yeah i do, I major in Media production,”

“ohh yeaa you’re in my lecture room after my Bio lecture,” you recognised him, you just never knew his name.

His dark umber hair was floppy, perfectly waved in a way which framed his facial structure. As you looked at him making eye contact out of politeness you couldn't help but notice his glossy coffee orbs and the way he smiled so.. softly. It reminded you of Xiaojun. 

“ohh yeah,” he lets out a weak chuckle, “so roses and gypsophilias?” he begins to pick them up and take them to the table for the other worker to arrange them for you. 

“Yes please Hendery, thank you,” you smile and go to the counter to pay for them. Of course Hendery is taking your payment. As you hand your card, his fingertips brushed against your soft skin and you retreat, panicked. He moves his eyes to meet with your and you divert your vision to none other than your phone. “Here’s your card,” he slides it across the table to avoid the contact and smiles whilst returning a small bow too. He looks up and smiles again. “ your flowers will take around 20 minutes to be arrange and packaged would you be able to pick it up soon?” he asks following store rules and protocol of course... right?

“oh yes i’m at the cafe opposite with a few of my friends so i should be able to get them!” You smile and nod your head

“ahh okay! i hope to see you soon,” 

As you turn around and leave and go to the cafe opposite you can see him through the shop window mindlessly staring out of the window. You wave at him and he gives a shy one back. “yn! where’s our coffee?” Sicheng asks as he jogs over with Hanna and Minseo walking close behind him.

“oh i-” you stuttered

“she was on a secret date with someone, what’s that i smell? a new perfume,” Minseo teases

“nahh it’s definitely for Xiaojun, where is he anyway?” Hanna turns around and sees him running, holding his bag to his chest. 

“s-sorry for being late,” he pants his ebony hair messy.

“why is your hair messy?” you ask fixing his hair as he sits down “ it looks cute, right guys,”

They all agree in unison and Xiaojun chuckles, “ thanks guys,”

As minutes went on, they turned to an hour. You completely forgot to pick up your flowers but you still didn’t recall until you heard rustling and a throat clear from the left of you. The group stopped talking. “uh um hey, we’re closing up now and-” he puts the flowers into your hands. “see you around,” he smiles and head off. You looked at him on his motocycle driving off and you looked back at the group smiling and whispering.

“Its not what you think!” 

You friends look at you and then back at each other. “soo are you guys a thing or can i have him?” Hanna asks jokily

“NO I mean YEA I-” you try to think straight, this was really embarrassing “yeah do whatever he just happens to go to our university and works at the florist where i went to get some flowers for myself” – they all in unison said ‘ahh’.

Hendery became more talkative with you in university and as time went on you both became good friends. Hendery’s tender smile greeted you almost everyday and it was clear to see his shy barrier he had was slowly melting away to reveal his extroverted personality. Hendery was like a star beaming in a stygian night sky and his bouncy energy like a puppy waiting for a treat. Hendery had such a sweet winsome personality and you were happier than happy to be friends with him. One evening after University Hendery saw you outside waiting at the bus stop since you were on your way to meet the others at a Korean BBQ restaurant. It was colder and ever so dismal but as he walked next to you he greeted you and noticed that you were cold. “ You seem cold?” he tilts his head his soft locks being pushed back with his warm-skinned fingertips. “oh yeah well I’m a little dumb and i forgot to get a scarf or gloves. I didnt really know it’d be so cold today,” you let out a weak chuckle before rubbing your frostbitten hands trying to accumulate the body heat you had left. “Hey yn,” Hendery puts his hand on your shoulder and you feel a sudden warmth immersing you “take these,” he hands you his leather gloves “also are you sure you don’t want a lift to wherever you’re going? the buses are really full,” he informs you. You think a little bit. He has a motorcycle, you have to hold him. What will Xiaojun or the others think? You decided to take the offer. “if you don’t mind and if you’re free please join me in our meal!” you smile was gleaming and perfect. In his eyes.

You sit behind him and he hands you his helmet. “where’s yours?” you ask concerned. “oh don’t worry you wont be the cause of my death,” he jokes around “it’s not too far so we should be okay yn, hold tight okay,” he advised you. Your hands wrap gently around his waist and you felt butterflies in your stomach. Xiaojun hugged you and often playfully threw you onto the trampoline at his house when everyone was around and you were slightly tipsy. You felt a small pang in your chest. Rapidly, Hendery went from 0-60mph, zooming through the streets of Seoul. The city made you feel like you were in a movie scene running away with your true love, only right now it was a friend of yours taking you to the korean bbq place. The sun disappears and the moon replaces the suns place. The glowing orb in the sky illuminated the streets and reflected off the shop windows. It was peaceful, so serene. The abrupt stop meant that you arrived, your face slamming into Hendery’s back which made you move back quickly. “ yn, you alright there,” he smiles and lets out a little chuckle. You stutter slightly trying to pull the helmet off not knowing how you even got it on. 

“wait that’s not how you take it off,” he inches closer and gets to the twisted clip that got stuck to your necklace. He untwists the necklace being ever so careful and precise. You knew for a fact your friends could see you and this ‘mysterious’ guy outside standing only inches away from each others face. This only made you think... is this how people kiss? You felt his finger lift your chin up so he could see the buckle. “ahh i see the problem,” he smiles seeing the issue. The silver chain was jammed in the buckle and Hendery was gentle with you. This was NOT what you had planned. “AH! got it, you okay?” he asks you handing the helmet on his bike. “yeah i’m okay, thank you,” you gulp and he opens the door for you and your friends all exclaimed at the fact you finally arrived. You and Hendery both sit at the table; “ohh hey Hendery i didnt know would come too?” Sicheng fist bumps him and pours him a soju shot. “ I can’t drink, i’m gonna have to drive home,” he points at his ride outside and a subltle smile paints across his face. It was a little awkward, especially because of Hanna and Minseo since they didn’t know how to keep anything lowkey. Xiaojun always put extra beef on your plate and the girls kept teasing him. “hey, shes my best friend of course i’ll give her extra?” Xiaojun chuckle and nudges Minseo. “then why don’t you act like that with me?” Minseo pouts jokily and Xiaojun sarcastically rolls his eyes “okay Miss Kim Minseo, here is your beef and an extra bit of kimchi too” Xiaojun placed it on her plate and then of course Sicheng was joking around too pretending to be the girls mocking them playfully. To you, you looked at Minseo and Xiaojun and they...looked cute together. Besides your thirsty friends and the random pit in your stomach, the atmosphere felt euphoric; drinking soju, eating luscious  flavoursome food, talking and joking around with the people who you love the most. You sit and go for the water jug at the same time as Hendery and your hands collide again. why does this keep happening? You withdraw your hand away from it so he can pour himself a glass of water. “shall I?” he says holding the clear glass jug hovering over your glass and you just nod. 11:36pm. The restaurant was closing and everyone was en route home.

 The onyx night sky coruscated as the heavenly bodies gleamed, the solitary moon illuminating the street you stood on along with Sicheng, Minseo, Hanna, Xiaojun and of course Hendery. “Lucas should be here soon,” Sicheng says to Xiaojun as he looks at his phone and then loking back up to the road. You all waited for each other to go home so everyone was safe especially during this time of night. “How are you getting home yn?” Xiaojun asked. You stopped bretahing for a split second, “umm i’m not too sure? I can take a night train,” you say looking for your train card. You scavenge through your purse to look for it but it wasn’t there. The paleness took over your face and you looked up in panic; “ I don’t know where my train card went?” Xiaojun looked at you and put his hands on your shoulders, “ hey, it’s okay you can probably take a taxi home or even stay with Hanna and Minseo?” you thought about that but in fact you couldn’t since the girls had a small dorm within the campus which was only enough for 2 people and there was no space for an extra person. “It’s fine, I’ll find a way home” you say a little downhearted. “If you don’t mind I can drop you home,” Hendery broke the silence, grinding the floor with his heel. Everyone glance at him as if he were some sort of hero and you were the damsel in distress needing saving - but you knew that you lived too far and this was a reason why you’d only hang out after classes. “Hendery to the rescue,” Xiaojun and Sicheng praise him (as boys do) “ We trust Hendery, he’s a safe driver,” they reassure you but all you could do is give a weak smile back and move towards the motorcycle. As he hits on, he passes you the helmet and you decline the offer, “you’re the driver, you need it more?” you insist, concerned about his safety. “yn, trust me, nothing will happen to me,” You hesitate but take it and put it on your head and sit behind him. Your arms wrap around him again and Hendery takes a deep breathe, closes his eyes for a second and smiles to himself. He starts the vehicle. “i’ll see you guys on Monday!” You say to the others, looking at Xiaojun. 

Hendery drove down the incandescent streets of Seoul. Your fingertips fiddled with each other but they also rested on his stomach, the warmth of his body warmed you up on this cold journey home. For a little while, to have a break from straining your eyes, you closed them but your head unexpectedly rested in  his back and Hendery’s head twitched as if he was going to turn around but he couldn’t. It was soon after midnight when Hendery arrived to your apartment complex and you felt the hasty breaks. “you’re home yn,” he says and you shake your head blinking to see your home. “ thank you Hendery, thank your for joining me for our meal i hope it was enjoyable for you,” you say handing him his helmet back and stood on the pavement. “It’s okay, anytime honestly,” he smiles - so pure. so innocent. “maybe we should get a coffee together sometime,” he blurts out unexpectedly which came to you as a shock. “of course! you don’t have my number so you?” you ask him and he shakes his head. you both exchanged numbers and you knew that he would become a part of the coffee club...

A seed has been sown – A flower grows when it has been sown deep in the ground and eventually grows roots, a stem and blossoms into something beautiful. Beautiful things have evil outcomes.

You and Hendery started talking more over text and even call and of course sometimes there would be group facetimes where he would be included too. It felt amazing to have such great people and friends who were there for you although you couldn’t help but notice one thing. Xiaojun. One evening as you were cooking on facetime, you noticed Xiaojun texting someone on his phone, smiling, but not the kind where he found something funny. The smile where someone makes your heart flutter, like it’s on a million candy floss clouds floating to - well- who knows? You didn’t want to poke your nose in his private life but since you were kids, you told each other everything? whether it was embarrassing or not like the one time you fell in a puddle because you were too scared of a bee. 

“hey Xiaojun,” you say as you go closer to the webcam “why you so smiley for?” you sounded a little passive aggressive but you didn't mean to.

 “Just talking to someone,” he smiles but that’s all he says and your friends notice.

 “Hey yn, wanna go to the new boba themed cafe tomorrow?” Hendery asks 

 Sicheng gasps “OIOI let me come as well,” he says. 

Hanna frowns “ I have a Liberal arts examination tomorrow after uni, I can’t go but i hope you have fun! i’ll go next time,” she smiles. 

“how about you Minseo? are you free tomorrow too?” Sicheng asks whilst tackling his puppy that was trying to eat his phone.

“I have to help my mother.. with groceries” she nods with her sweet smile.

“what ‘bout you,” Sicheng tries to get Xiaojun’s attention

“o- OH me, I cant tomorrow sorry~” 

You had to go offline. You declined the call without notifying that you’re going offline.

That night as you sat on your phone on your chat with Xiaojun wanting to rant to him you stopped and deleted the message and slammed your phone down on your bed. Your chest hurt really bad, was it your asthma acting up again? You try to sit up and search for your pump in the bed side table where you put all your medication for easy access although when you used it, it didn’t work. Maybe you were just exhausted so you needed to sleep. Your phone chimes, it was Hendery:

Hendery: Hey, you alright? you seemed off on facetime and then left

YN: not really... 

should you lie?

YN: just going through a stressful time

HENDERY: do you wanna talk about it? i’m here to listen to you

YN: thank you but i’m not feeling well right now and i was half way through making dinner and i just can’t be bothered to continue. I wasted so much.... 

HENDERY: if you want i can help you out? I know Hanna has to study, idk about Minseo, Xiaojun has guitar practice now and Sicheng has dance rehearsals 

YN: thats what they said after i left right?

HENDERY: yea and I’m free so

YN: I mean if you want i dont wanna force you

HENDERY: anything for a friend

The fact that a new friend care about you more than your best friend who you knew since preschool

HENDERY: I’ll be there in around half an hour what’s your house number?

YN: ahh okay, I can pick you up from downstairs 

HENDERY: okay that’s fine :D

Hendery offline.

That evening when Hendery arrived, he brought extra snacks and ice cream as well as soju. “H-” you were cut off by him. “I know you like soju so let loose a little” he smiles “you didn’t need to buy me so much?” you exclaim. He goes over to your hob to see that you’re making cheesy tteokbokki with some ramen and were also half way through making a kimbap. “Easy meal, i can make this” he continues from where you stopped from. You kept looking at your phone to see if you got any notifications.. none. But you tried to forget about ti since Hendery was here to keep you company and you had someone to eat with. You felt suffocated so you opened your window a little to ventilate your apartment and you took a pump of your asthma pump and assisted Hendery with the food. The aura was serene and everything felt bright as if the stars had lowered themselves for you tonight. The food had been plated and the drinks were poured into glasses and you both sat on the couch facing the tv watching a show. “how you feeling?” he asks. You noticed that he asks you that quite often? why? “A little, you’re a good chef!” You compliment him and as you do you see his rather charming face glow up. Your phone chimed and you reached over for it and see the notification; “who is it?” Hendery asks, curious if it’s one of the others. “Oh, it’s just Xiaojun I don’t know what he wants right now,” you unlock your phone and read the message;

XIAOJUN: wyd

You felt your stomach spiralling viciously. were you about to throw up? Your chest began to hurt with affliction. 

YN: nothing hbu

XIAOJUN: I was talking

YN: to?

XIAOJUN: a friend of mine

YN: since when were you so interested in this friend that you’d ignore us on face time

You could feel it was getting harder to breathe and your cheeks were burning up red. “hey yn, you’re going red? easy slowly you might choke,”he coughed 

XIAOJUN: why are you so passive aggressive? if i’m annoying you i can go

YN: and talk to this friend, okay

XIAOJUN: ?? 

YN: nothing, I’ll go back to hanging out with Hendery, at least he cares.

XIAOJUN: you’re with Hendery!! Since when were you and him a thing! I’m happy for you :D

YN: we’re fucking not. he’s my friend... it’s a shame how my childhood best friend doesn’t give a fuck about me

yn is offline.

XIAOJUN: yn? what? what happened what did i do

XIAOJUN: lets talk this out

XIAOJUN: hello? come back online, i do care.

XIAOJUN: yn...

xiaojun is offline.

You threw your phone on the floor and got up leaving your food on the table and going to the bathroom. Quickly you knelt down at the toilet bowl and your stomach heaved what you just ate and not only that a bunch of water. It wasn’t bile, you knew what bile was but this was pure water that exited your body. You began to get chestier coughs and in this time Hendery knocked on the door. “ yn, you don’t sound well, do you want me to help you? can i come in?” Thats exactly how Xiaojun would speak to you and how much he cared for you. Your night was crashing down on you like an asteroid destroying everything that night. Hendery opened the door and saw you dangling over the toilet bowl having difficulties breathing and your cheeks tear stained. “oh my god, yn-” he rushes to get to you and tries to pick you up but your mind was a mess and your previous memories disrupted the present. “XIAOJUN GO AWAY!”

“Hey, yn... I’m not xiaojun I’m Hendery” he says gently trying to solace you. He was understanding and heartfelt. He had all the qualities that Xiaojun has to make a perfect best friend. Eventually you got to your bed with Hendery’s help and he cleaned the apartment up for you. He went into the bathroom and you heard the tap running but even closer he was heaving too? Maybe it was the cheese? who knew.. “ hey yn, if you need me you’re free to call or message me anytime okay,” thats what Xiaojun said too once. You nod and he leaves the apartment until the next day. 

The growth of roots 11:43am: You had your early morning lectures and you sat on the University steps on your phone since.

MINSEO: hey where are you?

HANNA: library studying :/ hbu

MINSEO: looking for Xiaojun

MINSEO: and yn + sicheng

HANNAH: ohh okay, Hendery?

MINSEO: ohh yeah i forgot about him 

HANNA: where’s yn?

MINSEO: idk??

XIAOJUN: you lot spam, i’m coming out from the back entrance, i’ll be there

*seen by yn*

XIAOJUN: i see you lurking yn

YN: okay

XIAOJUN: aren’t you meeting with your boyfriend

MINSEO: boyfriend???

YN: Hendery is not my boyfriend, can you fucking not :)

yn has turned off her activity status...

Xiaojun taps your shoulder and smiles at you profoundly and offers you a hand to help you up. “what are you doing here alone?” Xiaojun asks despite you going off at him. “i dont know i wanted to be alone?” you scoff as subtle as you could. “ well Xiaojun is here now,” he says as he wraps his arm around your waist but it felt different.. to you at least. His flawless smile made you forget why you were mad at him in the first place; as you begin to walk your phone chimes.

HENDERY: hey where are you? I’m waiting at your bus stop :D

YN: i’ll be there soon sorry for making you wait

HENDERY:  it’s okay :D x

As you got to the main road, Xiaojun still had his arm around and Hendery called your name from afar but as he saw you both his smile dropped into a frown. Did you plan something without telling him to stitch him up? You writhe out of Xiaojun’s arms but he grabbed your arm. “where you doing?” he pouted and that was it. “w-with Hendery,” you gulped but your skin felt as if it were on flames and your lungs were clogged? you brought your asthma pump today too just incase. “oh yeah, he’s taking you out,” Xiaojun nods “ Have fun,” he suddenly drops your arm. You walk to Hendery not wanting to look back but Hendery saw what he saw and he didn’t want to say it....yet. That afternoon the boba shop with Hendery was diverting, it was a shame that it was just you two though... 

9:21PM: you sit at your dining table and scroll through your phone before you see a photo of Xiaojun on your feed but you thought nothing of it and scrolled past it. A painful knot began to grow within your lungs? what was this pain? You didn’t know what it was but the pain was just unbearable. It was difficult for you to breathe but you used your asthma pump but it didnt work this time so you ran to the bathroom again and your couldn’t help but throw up again but this time it was strange? There were red petals and leaves and peculiar vine looking things which startled you and couldn’t stop. The feeling was worse than last time, this time is felt tighter; there was was no scientific meaning behind this. You sat against the bathroom wall and pondered who you should tell? Maybe you’d keep it to yourself since no one would believe you right and claim that you’re making it up for attention, at least you hope they wouldn’t think that. You help your phone between your trembling hands, you were terrified. Coughing was painful; it was as if tiny thorns impaled you lungs and tight vines and roots were wrapping around it more and more every day. The question is, why? The whole night you sat in your apartment alone and agony. Help me. 

Your mind echoed with theories and conspiracies, were you a mutant? a glitch? or was this all a dream. The December Christmas festival was a big thing in Seoul so everything was decorated in red, white and green with snowflakes and mistletoes hidden around the street where the Cafe was. The tinsel glistened in the fairy lights swathed the tall street lamps as well as the shop windows. It was  Christmas day the following week and your friends organised a small Christmas party just amongst you and your friends and they decided to book a Karaoke room and then go to your apartment since you were the only one who lived alone. “what do you think yn? are you okay with the idea?” Minseo asks her pretty dusty pink lips pouting at you. She looked twice as pretty today; her hair was loosely curled, her eyes glittering soft pink and champagne, her lips a dusty pink and her clothing all neat and pretty. “yeah, that’s fine” you nod looking down and feel you coughing start up again covering your mouth “ excuse me..” you blurt out before running to the bathroom and locking yourself in a stall. “what happened?” Hanna asked confused and concerned “should we go to check on her?”. “I think she’s feeling unwell but we can go,” Minseo adds on and Hanna immediately gets up. Meanwhile, whilst you were coughing up blood, petals and full flower buds excruciatingly your phone chimes. 

XIAOJUN: hey, are u at the cafe with Minseo and Hanna? Sicheng and I are around the corner.

you ignored it since your excruciating pain didn't allow you to respond to him. Your eyes tear up smudging your eyeliner and staining your cheeks. Once you felt okay enough to leave, you fix your makeup and open the bathroom door. Opposite was the mens bathroom and you saw Hendery walk out too, brushing his thumb over the corner of his lip. “are you okay?” he asks looking at you noticing you were crying. “ i’m fine, just don’t feel well,” you lie “ your eyes are red? are you okay?” you ask him. There was a short silence. “just choked....on a hazelnut,” he responded. You knew he was lying but he knew you were too. December 24th 5pm the group met at the karaoke bar and went into the room they booked. It reminded you of your first year at university when it was just you and the girls; it was the first time you got drunk and had to crash at Hanna’s mothers house (of course she stayed with you). You all sat around the table and you were wedged between Xiaojun and Hendery. Great. Hanna and Sicheng picked a song and of course it was Girl Generation, Hanna’s favourite. You sat there next to Hendery and Xiaojun and Hendery tapped your shoulder to break you out of your dazed state. He slid a small shot glass across the table and you took it before choking on the pungent alcohol. “WOAH WOAH slow down yn, you normally never drink this quick or like this,” Xiaojun takes the shot glass from you. “and people change best friend,” you shrug his arm that sat on your shoulders off “ Hendery, please can you pour me an-” before your coughing began acting up again although this time you couldn’t run out since you were stuck between them; you felt liquid rise up your throat and thats when everything was out of your control and you coughed up blood, water buds and petals again and everyone gasped in shock and horror! “y-yn...” Xiaojun, Hanna and Minseo stopped and stared at you whilst you were trying to get rid of the flowers and buds. Hendery however put his arm around you and covered you and whispered something to you...

“hey, breathe slowly, it’s okay..” his mellifluous tone calming you.

“should we give you some space?” Xiaojun asks as he moves to sit next to Minseo and gave you and Hendery some space. Your heart ached and you closed your eyes and leaned into Hendery’s chest and he let out a small gasp. Hanna and Sicheng were back to the karaoke so the terrible singing, except Sicheng, drowned out the intrusive thoughts. Hendery hesitated putting his arms around you to form a hug, but he did anyway and comforted you. Around 7:30pm it was time to go to your apartment for the gift exchange for the secret santa you all organised. You had Xiaojun. oh the luck. Recently he hasn’t been acting the same and a pit fell in your stomach. You all sat in a circle. You sat next to Sicheng and Hendery this time. Xiaojun sat next to Hendery and Minseo. Sicheng gave his give to Minseo which was a fluffy pink purse like bag she had been wanting for months now and her face began to glow, the lights doing her all the justice. She was just... ethereal. you compared yourself to her a lot. “OMG Sicheng thank you so much I’ve been wanting this for so long” and hugged him. Next it was Hanna to Hendery; he unwrapped the gift and it was a silver plated rose pin. “ I didn’t know what to get but you work at a florist and seem to like flowers a lot,” She let out a soft chuckle. “ Its great! thank you!”. Minseo got Sicheng and got him a silver ring which looked rather expensive. You hesitated to give your gift to Xiaojun. You bought him a pair of shoes he has been wanting for a while and you wrote in your card;

‘ I hope we can step we can walk through everything together and not miss a single milestone.’

He smiles at the card - “ me too, let’s be friends even after we’re married,” but you know what he meant by that. Lastly it was Hendery. He gifted you a jewellery set which were little daisies made of silver as well as a little note inside 

‘ You look absolutely beautiful in silver, I hope you wear these and think of me, Hendery x’

“Thank you so much Hendery I love them so much!” You smiled at the gift. 

That evening as everyone drank hot drinks and played games together, you noticed something. Something about yourself. A deep desire that had been whirling in you mind and heart for the longest time had finally arisen and you decided that it was true. You look at him. His ebony locks neatly sitting over his forehead, his guitar bag on his back, his pearly white smile- everything about him. But he’s your best friend? you cant fall for him. This is what your heart was striking itself over and over again; your own best friend and your forbidden feelings for him. It all made sense. Whenever your eyes collided it felt like a million fireworks exploding into the sea of darkness, illuminating the void in your vacant heart making it feel vivacious. Your emptiness felt revived whenever he touched you, or your stomach would flutter when he would speak to you; his mellifluous voice echoing in your ears. That was it. You were completely in love with Xiaojun. It made sense after all these years you would grow such strong emotions for him and it was obvious now that you liked him. Perhaps he had the same feelings for you too since thats how he would act around you with all the holding and intimacy between you both and how he would care about you so much. You were certain of it. As you thought to yourself whilst in a room amongst your buoyant friends, you thought that perhaps you could confess to him. Now? okay maybe not now... maybe ask him to hang out after Christmas day? it was the best option. Eventually, as it hit 4am, everyone dozed off on the floor, couch and armchair. Xiaojun was curled up on one side of the couch, his arms hugging a cushion of yours and Sicheng on the other side. Hanna slept on the arm chair, Minseo slept against the sofa and Hendery slept on one side of your bed. Everywhere was occupied and you had no choice but to use the unoccupied space on your bed but it was fine he was your best friend so it was normal; you did this with Xiaojun and the girls multiple times.

You waited a while until New Years Eve to do what you have been planning for the remaining time that was left between Christmas and NYE. There was a firework display that was over the Han river and you and your friends went to see it. It was colder during the night time so you wrapped up warm and everyone was so effervescent and laughed together drinking sparkling Champagne or Prosecco. You stood next to Xiaojun and tapped his shoulder however he was too focused on the drink and on someone else talking to him. It wasn’t easy to hear each other since people were bustling around from town to the river. “Xiaojun!” you shout so he can hear you and he turns around smiling, his cheeks flushed a light pink. Everything seemed... different. He was glowing, his lips were a blushing pink, his skin like smooth glass. Everything had seemed to have enhanced? “I want to tell you something,” you say to him, a knot forming at your throat and you struggle to gulp your nerves. “ What is it?” he asks you lowering himself so he can hear you. His face was only inches away from your face and you wanted to do it, you really wanted to but you waited until 12am. “I’ll tell you after t-the countdown,” you stutter. He nods in confirmation and goes back to the group. Hendery talks and smiles with Sicheng but there was a fragment of pain and suffering in his eyes and you could tell when someone was hurting from a distance. He asked Sicheng to hold his drink before he went elsewhere.. did you want to follow him and ask hi if he’s okay or should you wait and tell Xiaojun how you felt. You chose him instead...

There was 1 minute left. You waited for the countdown. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

  HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

You look for Xiaojun since he wandered off closer to the front of the river. You run through the crowd of people but stop. Everything darkens. You feel empty. It felt like you feel out of heaven and everything was taken away from you. The heavenly passion, the sweet intentions you had vanished; Destroyed into an abyss of torment and pain. You felt the tear of you heart. I’m sorry. you tell yourself. You wish you didn’t have to witness what you did but.. well.. you did. 

Xiaojun stood there smiling ear to ear. The smile was sweet but you never saw him smile with so much admiration and love in his gaze before. You froze and watched what was happening, the pain in your heart only getting increasing worse and worse restricting you from breathing more. You see the girl he was looking at and it was none other than Minseo... His blushed lips pressed against her peachy toned lips, Minseo tip toeing to reach him and put her arms around his neck. He lifted her by the waist and the both giggled into each others kisses. You had it. You couldn’t do it anymore. Maybe it was time for this to all stop once and for all. Xiaojun comes up to you and sits beside you. “hey yn, what were you doing to tell me earlier?” he asks tilting his head back so his locks were pushed back from his face. “oh,” you pause. What else do you have to lose? “X-Xiaojun...” you stutter and he nods. “I-I loved you,”

Your heart stopped. It skipped a beat.

“huh?” he asks “you love me,” he chuckles “I’m glad you had the courage to tell me that yn but-” he gulps and smiles again “I love someone else...”

You didn’t know what to say but your tears took over. Hendery wandered around looking for you and saw you sobbing and Xiaojun not knowing what to do. He runs up to you; “ Yn? hey you okay, whats wrong,”. You didnt speak but just cried. “why is she crying?” Hendery asks Xiaojun concerned. “ I told her I love someone else... I didn’t know she liked me” Hendery stopped whilst holding you. “she liked you?” – rejection never tasted so good.. right

Now there were thunderstorms within Hendery’s mind and heart as well as yours.

Everything went black. 

You woke up. The bright light blinded you and you blinked hard to see where you were but the pain in your chest was.... gone. “how long has it been?” you ask a nurse in the room. “hmm 4 days,” You were shocked. “did i get surgery?” you ask. “ yes there was a peculiar blockage in your lungs and we had to remove them,”

You were pain free.

“ someones here to pick you up though,” The doors open to Hendery and Xiaojun. “Hey how are you now,” Xiaojun asks “I’m sorry about New Years, It’s just me and Minseo hung out once and there was this feeling i never had, i’m sorry i lead you on”

you thought for a bit. “I never liked you like that? I didn’t romantic feelings for you,” Hendery turns around and nods but leaves. “i’ll be back,”

“but you told me last night you did? i’m confused,” Xiaojun thinks

“oh, well i don’t,” You shrug

Hendery comes back and tells you both that it’s time for your discharge.

Months pass as everything is back to normal except one day. 

It was a refreshing spring day, the blossoming flowers glided through the spring breeze as the sun light cascades onto the viridescent greenery. You sit outside and always waited for your friends and always complimented how Xiaojun and Minseo looked, despite the memory that had been removed from your heart and mind. Hendery gave Xiaojun a small box and a card to give to you on your birthday; “ make sure she gets these on her birthday,” he tells him “i’ll be out of town for a while....” he lied but Xiaojun didn’t know but agreed to do what he asked. But as days went by a member of your friendship group vanished. Where did Hendery go? 

One evening, you received a small box and a card with it on your birthday. 

“ To my one love YN,

Since the second year of university when i first laid eyes on you I couldn’t control my feelings for you. You swept me away. I’m sorry I couldn’t spend your birthday with you but i had something i had to take care of. I have something important to tell you and that is you did love Xiaojun and whatever pain you felt was something i felt too.... for you. But getting the buds, vines and thorns removed it also made you lose all romantic feelings. Im sorry but I couldn’t see you in pain anymore. But i’ll be back... and hopefully my feelings wont get in the way anymore. 

-Hendery”

The silver rose was placed in the box. Hendery loved you? A rush of guilt and sadness flood through out you and now you were worried about him. He was in more pain than you were but he was strong and endured it just to make you happy. Because despite him being in pain, your happiness made him feel at ease. You called, messaged, you did everything you could. No answer at all. He disappeared. No sign of him at all and all you have left is a silver rose..

Where did Hendery go? 

[kirareykenobi22]

Reylo Coffee Shop AU

"You know," she heard her best friend Rose say. "As a barista, I feel like I should tell you that you look like you could use more coffee. But as your best friend, I feel obligated to tell you that maybe you just need some sleep."

Rey groaned as she straightened up from leaning against her open textbook at her table. "It's not like I can sleep in my dorm room. My roommate is the worst." Giving up on studying, she packed up all her supplies as she started into a rant. "She got this new boyfriend, and he basically lives in our dorm now. I barely want to study with a stranger in the room, I definitely don't want to sleep with him around. And do you know what my roommate said when I talked to her about it? She had the nerve to tell me that I'm just jealous." She slammed her textbook and looked to Rose for encouragement. "Can you believe that?"

She was met with pursed lips from Rose. "So I'm not saying what she's doing is fine, cause it isn't, but are you sure that none of this hostility is coming from just a little bit of jealousy?"

"I am not jealous."

Rose raised her hands in defense. "All I'm saying is that you also seemed a bit touchy like this when Finn and I started dating."

Rey rolled her eyes harder than she ever had. "You guys met here. At a coffee shop. Do you know how cliche that is? Who actually meets their soulmate in a coffee shop?"

"Technically we met in freshmen biology. I just didn't work up the nerve to ask him out until he started coming here everyday for coffee."

"I have not had enough caffeine for this conversation," Rey said massaging her temples.

"I'm not making you anymore coffee," Rose warned, getting to her feet. "One sec, I've got another customer."

Rey's eyes followed Rose back to the counter, and she sat up a little straighter when she saw the waiting customer. A well-dressed man stood at the counter and gave a small smile as Rose took his order. Maybe it was just a result of all the relationship talk, but Rey couldn't help but notice that he was insanely attractive. He had dark wavy hair and dark eyes that swam with hidden depths of mystery. And he was tall. Rey was rather tall herself for a female, but this man would've towered over her still. Even though a counter separated them, she could see that the top of Rose's head didn't even reach his shoulders.

Rey immediately felt self-conscious of her hair, which was pulling up in the world's messiest bun, and of her shirt which may or may not have had more than one coffee stain on it. Her gaze didn't stray from the man, but he never looked her way. He simply waited for his coffee, and he left as soon as Rose handed it to him.

Rose returned to Rey's table a minute later taking off her apron as she sat. "And that is officially the end of my shift."

"Who was that guy?" Rey asked with a one track mind.

"Why?"

"Just curious," Rey shrugged.

Rose chuckled. "I don't really know except that his name is Ben. He's been coming in every day for about two weeks now to get coffee. And you've been sitting at this table studying for about two weeks now. But I guess you just now noticed him?"

"Ben, huh?" she asked, her mind drifting. "And you said he comes in here everyday?"

"Yeah... What are you planning?"

"Absolutely nothing."

*****

"Are you wearing mascara?" Rose asked incredulously the next day.

"Maybe," Rey said coyly as she dropped her backpack on the ground at her table.

"Who are you trying to impress? Is it about that guy you were asking me about yesterday?"

"Can't a girl just feel like looking nice just for herself?" Rey asked as she pulled out her laptop.

"Well of course a girl can. But you never do."

Rey may or may not have put a little bit of extra effort into her appearance when getting dressed this morning. She put on a subtle layer of makeup, although obviously not subtle enough, wore a nice black blouse, her best jeans, tall boots, and even wore her hair half down. But it's not like she was trying to impress anyone. Nobody but Rose paid attention to her anyway.

"I just felt like changing things up today. Don't overthink it."

Rose narrowed her eyes as she returned back to work. One peppermint mocha latte later, Ben walked in the door. Rey stared over the top of her laptop as she pretended to be writing her research paper. Once again though, he got his coffee and left without even looking in her direction.

She frowned slightly as he walked out. It was fine. She wasn't upset. It's not like she'd been expecting anything. Only people like Rose got cutesy love stories in coffee shops, and Rey's life certainly wasn't a fairy tale.

When Rose's shift ended and she came to sit, Rey didn't hesitate before speaking. "So his name is Ben Solo."

"What? No middle name. I'm disappointed." Rose laughed.

Rey glared. "His full name is Benjamin Lucas Solo. Now may I finish?"

"There's more?" Rose sighed as Rey's glare intensified. "Of course you may finish."

"He's a senior in his final semester here. He's graduating a semester early in case you were wondering. He's a political science major with a minor in literature. His mom is Leia Organa and his dad is Han Solo! And that means his uncle is Luke Skywalker!"

Rose raised an eyebrow. "Should I know who any of those people are?"

Rey groaned. "Leia Organa is only one of the most influential senators of this generation. and Both Han Solo and Luke Skywalker are famous war heroes. Han with the Air Force and Luke with the Army. Come on, Rose. And I thought I lived under a rock having grown up in an orphanage."

"Okay, okay," Rose said. "So he's related to pretty important people. How did you even find any of this out?"

Rey waved a hand. "The internet knows everything."

"But how did you..." Rose trailed off and shook her head. "Never mind. I don't wanna know. So what are you gonna do with all this information?"

Rey sighed. "Nothing. There's nothing do with it."

"You know, you could just try talking to him. He seems nice enough."

"He probably doesn't want to talk to me. He's related to so many important people, and I'm just some random nobody."

"Well, you never know until you try."

Days passed and Rey continued to dress nice to stare as Ben came to get coffee only to leave without speaking to her. One day she was almost certain that he looked at her, but that's about all she had to show for her efforts.

On the last day of finals, the last day she could see him before he graduated and left forever, Rey had an idea. As soon as she got to Starbucks, she walked up to the counter where Rose worked.

"Grande peppermint mocha latte?" she asked with a knowing smile.

"No," Rey said firmly. "Well, yes. But also no."

Rose scrunched up her eyebrows. "I'm confused. Do you want one or not?"

"I do. But I was also wondering, do you know what Ben's order is?"

"Of course." Rose smiled. "He orders a black coffee everyday."

"What?" Rey scrunched her nose. "Why? Why come to Starbucks and just order a black coffee? Wouldn't it be cheaper to just buy a Keurig?"

"Maybe," Rose shrugged. "But he said this gives him an excuse to see someone everyday." She sent Rey a pointed look.

She blanched. "You don't think he means me, do you?"

"Look around. Who else is in here everyday?"

"Then why hasn't he ever spoken to me?"

Rose let out an exasperated sigh. "Why haven't you ever talked to him? You both are assuming the other doesn't want to know you."

"Okay, okay." Rey took a deep breath. "I'm going to buy his coffee today. When he comes in to order just point him in my direction."

"I can do that."

Fifteen minutes later, Ben walked in and Rey felt her stomach flip. What if she made a huge mistake? As he walked up to the counter and talked with Rose, Rey honestly felt like running for the door. She watched Rose hand him his coffee and point in her direction, and she braced herself for the inevitable.

He walked over to her table with a small smile. He gestured to the empty seat across from her. "May I?"

"Of course," Rey forced herself to smile instead of showing the anxiety she felt.

"So you're the one who bought my coffee today." His voice was a low rumble that somehow seemed to make him even more attractive.

"Oh yeah," Rey tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I see you in here everyday, and I've been meaning to introduce myself but I never got the chance, so I figured this was just as good a way as any."

"Do you know who my parents are?" he asked.

"I do, but that's not why I wanted meet you."

"Really?" He seemed genuinely shocked. "That's usually the only reason people talk to me. They see me as their gateway to fame."

"Well I promise that's not me," she said. "I just think you look like a really nice guy is all." And you're super cute so if you wanted to marry me that'd be cool too, she added in her head.

"You're Rey, right?" he asked.

Her jaw hung open for a moment. He knew who she was already. He knew her name. "That would be me."

He smiled. "I've read some of your research papers the university published. If you could actually manage to create the technology you proposed that could change the world."

Now her jaw was definitely hanging open. "No way! You actually read those papers? The department made a big deal out of publishing them but I didn't think anyone would even look at them."

He laughed. "Well I read them. And I'll admit, it made me a little curious about the girl who wrote them so I may have done a little research on you."

"And learned that I come to this Starbucks to study literally every single day?"

"I may have noticed that."

Rey laughed now. "So do you have big plans for after graduation?"

He shook his head. "Not really. I want to go into politics like my mom obviously, but my dad's still bugging me to become a pilot. And my uncle has always wanted me to join the army. Did you know that my uncle made me do an army military camp with him one summer in high school?" He laughed. "Worst summer of my life."

"Really? Was it really that bad?"

"Oh it was the worst. I told him I was going to burn the place down to save other children from having to go through what I did."

Rey burst into laughter. "I'm assuming you didn't actually burn it down."

"No, but I came close."

"Okay, but seriously, you've gotta have some kind of a plan for what you're about to do with your life."

"I do," he relented. "But my goals are more long term. The short term goal is to get to know you outside of this coffee shop."

Rey gave a small laugh. "You're just messing with me now."

He shook his head. "I'm not. Here." He passed a napkin over to her with his messy scrawl on it. "It's my phone number. I'm hoping you'll get good use out of it. Being the son of national heroes means you're actually pretty lonely most of the time."

Rey smiled broadly as she took the napkin. "Well you're not alone anymore."

Ben smiled back. "And neither are you."

[curious-minx]

Bob’s Burgers most reliable holiday  provides another lowkey enjoyable, but messy episode. Whereas the latest Simpsons strikes a really sore vocal node.

The second holiday episode of Bob’s Burgers’ 11th season, much like the previous Halloween episode, this one also fails to live up to the series’ even higher Thanksgiving standard

 That’s not to say “Diarrhea of a Poopy Kid” is not a good episode, but it does fall into the category of Bob’s Burgers episode I typically respond to the least: Character-based storytelling vignettes. The writing on these segment driven episodes tend to be looser and  playful bending the show’s reality, but much like every time the other Fox family leaves the Springfield plane of reality into a pastiche styled playground for the writers to plug the characters into.

The overall animation and visual-based gags on this episode offers some of the best moments of the season and series in general. Having the Belcher stories revolve around action movie pastiches of 90’s action movie schlock like Air Force Once, Armageddon, and late 80’s Predator  are extremely punny and really grasping hard for satire. The walk to Louise’s Breadator is succinct and makes total sense for Louise’s character to tell this kind of story, whereas Tina drawing inspiration from Air Force One for her story sags the episode down. This episode also has the gall to bring in Gayle, a character that usually elevates all of her episodes nothing much to do until the third and best segment told by Bob. Teddie is also frustratingly nowhere to be seen and Teddie is one of those characters that really only needs a small scene explaining away  his absence like in the episode “Gayle Makin’ Bob Sled,” which Variety and I consider to be among the best of Bob’s Thanksgiving episodes. 

Nitpicks and reminiscing on past glories aside, what’s most impressive about an episode as conceptual and overstuffed as this one, an episode that’s also poopy and gross-out from the very beginning, still manages to pack undeniable heart. Seeing a character as relatable and sad sack-y as Bob Belcher be passionate about his one favorite holiday reminds me of the everlasting and evergreen Ray Bradbury remark about how everyone is capable of writing poetry as long as you ask them to talk about something they are truly passionate about. Seeing how this episode climax revolves around Gene and Bob’s love of food and proves a powerful sentimental moment. Bob’s Burgers sentimentality works because the show’s core is silly absurdism, light and fluffy gross out gags and quirky twee-ness. Introducing the action movie element feels like the series trying to branch out its audience and try to catch some eyeballs of viewers looking for something more like Archer, American Dad, Rick and Morty, or even Treehouse of Horror style genre exercises.  Bob’s Burgers and action comedy feels like putting garlic pesto on cinnamon toast, but Ryan Reynolds doesn’t think so.

Yes, that’s right. The biggest news out of the Bob’s Burgers camp…probably ever…is that the Molyneux sisters, the writers of this very action packed episode, have been hand selected by Mr. Detective “VanWilder” Pickachu himself to be head writers on the upcoming third Deadpool movie. Seeing that we live in a post Russo brothers world and how Dan Harmon was conscripted to punch up Doctor Strange scripts none of this should really surprise me, but I am still very much surprised by this development. The Deadpool 3 creative team and Reynolds is still promising to deliver an R-Rated Comedy, a rating and promise that is very much why Deadpool is the sensation that it is. 

In the current media landscape the only way a big budget R-Rated comedy can get made is if it’s attached to something like a mega superhero sized brand. At this point in time Deadpool is the closest thing kids have to a Mel or Al Brooks and it is what it is. If anything Ryan Reynolds personally choosing the Molyneux sisters for a project like this makes me like Ryan Reynolds a little bit more. And he’s a man I previously had no real feelings or opinions about. The only other thing about Deadpool I know about is that the franchise has developed a particularly shitty reputation in terms of its treatment of main female characters and literally freezing them out of the plot. The future of comedy is being driven by the significant increase of women gaining these kind of writing gigs and it’s a beautiful thing to finally see witness. Especially when a company like Netflix has been really shitty to both of its own female driven comedies: Glow and Tucca and Bertie.

Sigh. I am thankful for all the sad little boys and girls wearing too much or maybe the right amount of eye shadow that will inherit this flaming Earth.

Three and half pear shaped pals out of an Oedipus Rex Complex. 

////

Nerds! Nothing but a lousy rotten sniveling dweeb! You dorkus-rex! You body pillow huffing geek get over here and let the Simpsons set some things straight for you: A Comic Book Guy driven episode of the Simpsons is often where the show goes off the rails. The Comic Book Guy marriage episode is was one of those late day Simpsons that feel like a bad piece of dreamed up fan fiction that you found on the cutting room floor. Is the show interested at all with the fact that comics and being nerdy have become as mainstream as the Bible? No? They’re still treating geek culture as some sort of low hanging piñata fruit lousy with cheap references in place of actual jokes? Good! I don’t know why I would ever allow myself to think for a second that the Simpsons would challenge its own status quo 32 seasons in, but I keep coming back. 

What I should really do is back up. The title of this episode is “Three Dreams Denied.” Ah, Dream Denial! That’s exactly what anyone watching an animated sitcom hopes for: dreams being crushed. This isn’t some kiddy Davy and Goliath feel good wholesome fable, this is the Simpsons where characters are given dreams, and those dreams get denied. The next part of the title I want to break down is the fact that there are specifically three dreams that being denied. Three! That’s a comedy number! As long as you have three of anything you’re doing comedy. Plain and simple.

During the Robert Zemeicks arc of the Blank Check podcast Griffin Newman, co-host and comedian extraordinaire and someone I generally admire a lot, has been bringing up the fact that he’s been spending a lot of his Quarantine rewatching the entirety of the Simpsons. By the episode of Used Cars Newman has already gotten past the Movie era and is in the 20th seasons. One observation he made about later day Simpsons is that these episodes have a tendency to end abruptly on a pile of unusable and reality bending plots still in the process of tying themselves up. And there’s no better/worse example of this than this episode. 

Comic Book Guy goes to a comic book convention. Bart becomes a voice actor after befriending the comic book guy’s temporary replacement. Lisa feuds over her saxophone chair in the school orchestra with a new pretty boy voiced by the underwhelming Ben Platt. One of these plots is not like the other. This used to be the signature of a quality Simpsons episode that managed to tweak and divert expectations from the typical A & B sitcom storylines. This episode fundamentally fails to deliver on any of the three storylines and what makes it worse is that it’s an intentional choice. 

Now I know I have spent this review harping on Comic Book Guy, but he’s not even why this episode for me is such an abomination. And it’s not because the cutesy, flimsy Lisa subplot either (although I do find it noxiously amusing that a week after an Yeardely Smith took issue with the Queer Interpretation of Lisa would feature her going moony eyed over a boy voiced by a defiantly queer actor), no, what tips this episode into the territory of the truly terrible for me is the Bart becomes a voice actor subplot. 

The only defining quality of season 32 that I can discern is that the flagrant trolling on behalf of the writers. Can you believe we had three vignette driven episodes of the Simpsons in a row? Can you believe we would have meta reality breaking voice actor related moments back to back? When Lisa Simpson’s voice actor Yeardley Smith voiced the real world character of herself in the previous Podcast based episode it was clumsy and awkward as hell. Having Bart become a voice actor that ends up voicing a character of the opposite gender is the sort of kind of a funny thing that resembles a joke that the latter day Simpsons revel in. The characterization of voice acting work in this episode is downright insulting and explains exactly why this show suffers. 

The character of Phil that serves as the Comic Book Guy’s replacement is a working voice actor. He let’s Bart know this by doing a series of completely basic, broad and unremarkable impersonations that Bart is seemingly impressed by. All you have to do to become a successful voice actor is do a silly voice and you’re golden. Maybe from the perspective of a series as lazy and indulgent as the Simpsons is when it comes to voice acting. The complete denial of Julie Kavner’s deteriorating voice that at this point sounds like gentle elder abuse. There are times when Kavner is downright incomprehensible at times. The other oldest member of the Simpsons voice talent, Harry Shearer was wrongheadedly trying to defend his right to voice Characters of Colors because  in his words, “the job of the voice actor is to play someone who they’re not.” Obviously these words were not spoken by someone that thinks very highly of acting either. There is no one job an actor has to do, because the job  of an actor is always changing from job to job. The character of Phil is not even attributed to anyone! I have spent over thirty minutes getting testy with IMDB search engines and reading another website’s recap and no one can tell me who did the voice of the Voice Acting Character on Simpsons. Lovely.

Much like the Comic Book Guy the Simpsons heart is in bad shape. This is a show whose entire existence seems to be made out of spite. Or to garner enough funds for Matt Groening to prevent him from ever having to serve any prison time for his exploits on the Lolita express. Great, see I’m bringing up the Lolita Express at the end of a Simpsons review. This episode really left me in a bad mood, but thankfully that’s what Bob’s Burgers is for. 

SKIP. The only people that should watch this are people teaching a screenwriting class that need examples of what happens when you break your episode by haphazardly shoving three plots into one episode. If you can’t tie up one story in a satisfying manner then you really shouldn’t be telling a story at all. There’s also one really magnificent visual joke involving Homer and beer tea that is absolutely wasted on this episode.

[yvesdot]

August 11-20. Chugging right along!

AUGUST 11

I LOVE this bit! I love everything about it. Mina homoerotically caring for Lucy (some great parallels could be drawn between this and Mina caring for Harker-- but I'm getting ahead of myself), the attention to the neck, etc. etc. Lovely scene.

AUGUST 12

At this point they just need to get some light-sleeping peasant to sit in the room and jump up whenever they hear Lucy moving. And hello again, Harker!

AUGUST 13

Honestly no better commentary than the editor's: Giant bat? Probably no big deal.

AUGUST 14

How Long Can We Drag Out The Realization That Lucy Has Been Bit By A Vampire

AUGUST 15

[Lucy's mother] confided to me that she has got her death-warrant. She has not told Lucy, and made me promise secrecy; her doctor told her that within a few months, at most, she must die, for her heart is weakening. At any time, even now, a sudden shock would be almost sure to kill her.

Wow this would be a really bad time for her daughter to get vampirized. I guess I'll just keep that in mind.

AUGUST 17

It is cute that we see the letter re:Jonathan as it is written but Mina has to wait. Things were different back then...

AUGUST 18

AUGUST 19

It is cute to see Mina so cutesy over Harker... Kind of giving that trope where one half of the couple is always rescuing the other. It's only happened once so far, but you know this guy is going to get trampled by something on their honeymoon. Assuming he doesn't die when he sees a boob.

EDIT: In case I haven't made this clear already, I do want to note that in my opinion Stoker is clearly presenting his deepest fear of men being limp and unmasculine. Obviously, quite unfortunate for him, and I am reading around it.

How these madmen give themselves away! The real God taketh heed lest a sparrow fall; but the God created from human vanity sees no difference between an eagle and a sparrow. Oh, if men only knew!

Here's a good example of how bigotry makes for bad writing. Stoker wants (in my opinion) to send the message that everybody matters, down to the smallest and least obviously significant person... but he's blinded by ableism and racism that forces him to paint all Rromani people with the same terrible brush, act as though "insane" people ought to have zero rights, and so on and so forth. He is shooting himself in the foot by being racist. It objectively weakens his message and makes his book worse. Oh, well. He'll always have fans on Tumblr who can't see it.

"The bride-maidens rejoice the eyes that wait the coming of the bride; but when the bride draweth nigh, then the maidens shine not to the eyes that are filled."

This confused me, so a direct translation: "Everyone likes to see the bridesmaids until the bride appears, and then they only care for her (and are no longer satisfied by anyone else, including the bridesmaids that previously so delighted them)." And this stackexchange answer which I thought explained things very well!

I am weary to-night and low in spirits. I cannot but think of Lucy, and how different things might have been. If I don't sleep at once, chloral, the modern Morpheus—C2HCl3O H2O! I must be careful not to let it grow into a habit. No, I shall take none to-night! I have thought of Lucy, and I shall not dishonour her by mixing the two. If need be, to-night shall be sleepless…

I can't help but make little gagging noises when I read stuff like this. I just can't get out of my modern reader head which says this has been done before, dude, we've all heard how sad it is when a girl doesn't marry you after knowing you for a month and gets hitched to your friend and you just have to think of her lily white face to avoid getting addicted to your insomnia meds. Been there read that!!

Jack Sheppard himself couldn't get free from the strait-waistcoat that keeps him restrained...

Oh I get this joke now! The famed thief Jack Sheppard... blorbo from my book Confessions of the Fox. You want to read about (transgender) men talk about their failed female conquests, that is the book to read, I say, making hopelessly false equivalencies because I am just that desperate to get people to start talking about Confessions of the Fox.

AUGUST 20

[H]is eyes had something of their old pleading—I might almost say, "cringing"—softness.

Fellas is it cringe. I mean is it gay. I mean is it submissive impotent weak limp masculine vibes. I mean Fellas

We shall to-night play sane wits against mad ones. He escaped before without our help; to-night he shall escape with it. We shall give him a chance, and have the men ready to follow in case they are required….

Sanatoriums in the Victorian era would just pull a Saw, according to Stoker. Like they would just play fun little games to SEE if letting violent patients loose was a good idea. I can't read this book guys it's like my brother's Dog-Man imitation comics in terms of sense.

General Commentary

yves.'s Diary.

6 November.—Thought I might look into the Dracula Daily tag and enjoy myself, seeing no posts that bought into the racist narratives of the original text. Don't know why I thought this. I was very wrong. Spent rest of day inconsolably thinking of beautiful women who rejected my hand; took nap unaided by use of medicine. 'Til next time

Alright fine after FOUR PEOPLE asked me about Dracula Daily I will in fact be participating if only to satisfy the masses. Instead of memes I am going to be talking about what’s going on subtextually and my varied vampire-as-metaphor thoughts. Also, I really do not like Dracula. Alright? Alright. See reblogs for later additions.

NAVIGATION:

May 7 (here) | May 8 | May 9 | May 11 | May 12 | May 15

May 16 | May 18 | May 19 | May 24 | May 25, 26 | May 28 | May 31

June 5 | June 18, 24, 25 | June 29, 30

July 1, 8, 18, 19, 20 | July 22, 24, 26-30

August 1-10

May 7: In which Jonathan Harker is racist about books, and the Count declares his intent to fondle England.

Keep reading

[felicityb-reviews]

Review Roundup - Week 4 January 2018

Hello, my lovely baby boos!! My name is Jace (aka Felicity B), and welcome to your Weekly Roundup for Week 4 of January 2018!! This week was something else, sis. I must have listened to 40 or 50 different songs for this week's list. It was cray!! For these kinds of lists, the last thing I wanna do is leave off songs because I don't like them, but that's what I ended up having to do. This week's list was getting excessively long (is still excessively long), but the last thing we need here is an RRU with 20 ballads.

That being said, there's a lot of songs here with "I liked it, it was good" reviews. There's not much I can do about that. A lot of the music that came out this week was very middle of the road. They're good songs, don't get me wrong; I'd throw very few of them into the Shuffle Bait. But there's just not much to say about them.

Turn It Up (RAINZ)

*sigh*

I really wanted to like this song, you guys. That chorus is Rave Excellence™ (if EDM tracks from rookie boy bands sounded like this, I wouldn't hate them so much). It's fucking everything, sis. And you know, I can excuse RAINZ for conjuring the spirit of 4minute with that New and Improved™ Hate breakdown. Everything leading up to it was bomb af, so I can get over myself with how annoyed I was by it.

But what I refuse to get over is DUBSTEP IN 2018!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

NO MA'AM!!

I don't know what makes Turn It Up pop so much more than tracks we've heard from groups like UP10TION or SF9 or ViCTON, because like I mentioned before, it's all in the same lane. Sure, that chorus makes my inner gay wanna come charging out and kiss five boys before rolling around in body paint (and then proceed to kiss five more boys), but this isn't anything we haven't heard before, musically. There's nothing inherently fun about this song (just extremely gay, which... RAINZ is a Broduce 101 project group, so of course), I just really freaking like it.

I just can't get over dubstep in 2018. If I had the means to cut it out of the track, I would be featuring that version in the official playlist.

#PettyBitch

Rating - Conditional Rotation

NO MORE (LIMZY featuring Huckleberry P)

No More is an exercise in RnB influenced Trip Hop/EDM that I wasn't sure I was gonna like, at first. This weirdly disjointed flavor of electroRnB is really not my taste, and the fact that LIMZY pushed it more left field than I've heard before really didn't help matters.

But No More is charming in its own way. The more I listened to it, the more it grew on me. LIMZY's smooth vocals are a nice foil to the weirdness of the beat, and Huckleberry P's rap didn't irritate me as much as I thought it would. I gotta be in a certain mood to really enjoy a song like this, but when I'm in said mood, catch me dissociating to No More.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

A luminous cat (Evolution of Sound)

A luminous cat is kind of basic, but it's also kind of fun. It's hella catchy, too.

Would you say that the luminous cat is also a lucky cat?!?!?!

I've always found it interesting how the farther away from K-Pop you get, the lower everyone's voices get. Ballad singers live in the low baritone/mezzo soprano range (although some of them think they live in soprano/tenor land, and they need to Stop Stop It™), and EoS's vocalist is the same. He's got a voice on him like WINNER's Kang Seung Yoon, but not quite as raspy. It's really nice to listen to.

A luminous cat is a synth driven pop/rock song. The first time I listened to it, I was bored as fuck all. The teaser had a lil somethin' somethin' goin' on, but the song fell flat in full. Upon repeat listens, A luminous cat hooks you in, but this is not a track I really wanna play all of the time. Which is a shame, cause I don't hear this type of sound a lot in Korean music.

Rating - Shuffle Bait

Ttongkku (Park Jongchul)

This is the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. And I stan Kim Jongin, okay?!?!? Do y'all know how cute my mans is?!!? But this video is even cuter than him!!!

#Shook

Ttongkku is a very whimsical acoustic ballad (for lack of a better descriptor). With the way Ttongkku is written, I'd expect this to be from something for children. The majority of the song follows the same strum pattern, just with different chord progressions swapped in, so Ttongkku is perhaps one of the most simple songs I've reviewed. That doesn't take away from how great this song is, tho. It's a really nice break from all the flashiness of K-Pop, which can easily wear on the ears.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

To Heart (fromis_9)

To Heart sounds like the theme song from a 2008 shoujo anime. I shouldn't be surprised considering their pre-release track, Glass Shoes, also sounded like that, and the inspiration behind Idol School is definitely Japanese idol groups. It's just not a sound you hear a lot in K-Pop.

fromis_9 (pronounced Promise 9, even though I still pronounce it like it's written without meaning to) is the group that resulted from last year's survival show Idol School. You know, when everyone was suddenly concerned about the ethnics of all these survival shows, because it wasn't under the Produce banner.

#ShadyBitch

While I liked Glass Shoes (and appreciated K-Pop's modern production techniques being applied to a song like it), it was definitely nothing to write home about. It was easy to lose it in the craziness that is end of the shows and what not. To Heart is, unfortunately, more of the same, but it definitely holds its own.

To Heart is an upbeat, happy go lucky pop/rock track with a really catchy violin riff layered on top of the intro and chorus bits. The verses are rather lowkey, but the chorus puts the pedal to the metal with the energy. You don't really hear a lot of lighter pop/rock tracks in K-Pop, so this is definitely a sound I'd like for fromis_9 to explore more, because it could easily give them a leg up on all the other cutesy girl groups. Tis a good comeback, but that's literally it for me, sis.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Jazzclub (BoA)

Current Dancing Queen of K-Pop, Kwon BoA, has set her sights on Japan with a new album, set to release in February of 2018 (and it was about fuckin' time, because Who's Back was an abominable Mess™)!! Jazzclub is a song that's been floating around since December, but I'm including it in today's list per request since the single actually dropped last week.

Um... Whom tf just calls their ex out of the blue to tell them they got married?! Every time I watch the video for Jazzclub, I'm so confused by why this bit is included (they literally could've just started with BoA in the club with the song playing).

To the surprise of quite a few people (myself included), Jazzclub is an electroswing track with one of the catchiest horn riffs I've heard in K-Pop. If you're over horn riffs in K-Pop, you'll be happy to know that while it is played at the intro and after every chorus, those sections don't last for long. The most surprising bit about this song is definitely when BoA starts scat singing. Never in my life would I ever expect Kwon Boah to start scat singing in one of her songs, but I guess that just goes to show why she's the Queen.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about Jazzclub, babies. I obviously don't hate it, but there's just something keeping me from falling in love with this song completely. I definitely enjoy the chorus, that horn riff doesn't really bother me (I been listening to all kinds of horns in my music since I was a baby), and I was scalpedt by BoA's scat singing. But this song just doesn't come together the way I need it to, sis. BoA seems like she's phoning it in here, and that's the opposite of what someone in her stature should be doing.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Don't Stop (TheEastLight.)

TheFetusLight. TheEastLight. weren't content with shaving our edges off with the Funky Fresh™ A Real Man last week, so they decided to drop a lyric video for their song Don't Stop to finish the job.

Of shaving us baldt, that is.

Don't Stop is a pop/punk number that I immediately latched onto. It simply suits TheFetusLight. TheEastLight. far more than A Real Man did. Not to say that they did MJ wrong with A Real Man, but Don't Stop feels more like their style. TheFetusLight. TheEastLight. do more youthful n fun tracks like this (and I Got You) far better than they do songs like A Real Man and You're My Love, because these types of songs suit their voices more.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Winter Sleep (Lee Junhoe of 2PM)

Two questions -

How many of these 2PM fools can rap?!?!

What is up with these 2PM boys having whack ass vocal production on their songs!?!?!

Junhoe's Winter Sleep sounds like he got Day6's Young K to write him a song and then pulled in some random producer to arrange it into an RnB track. While I am cross about the weird effects on Junhoe's voice (they contrast very Wrongly™ with the sample that sounds like a digital clock ticking), he sounds leagues better than Wooyoung did on two of the four songs I reviewed for in previous Review Roundups, so I'm not too mad.

I don't like this song. It's not a Trash Bomb like Wooyoung's Party Shots, but I wouldn't even download this for Shuffle Bait. The weird beeping contrasting with the vocal effects is one thing, but the entire song just sounds way too loud. None of the elements meld together in a pretty manner, and if I were Young K, I'd demand reparations for Junhoe doin' my song like this.

Rating - Trash Bomb

Radio 199.3 (SBGB)

SBGB decided to go left field with their acoustic midtempo, and the results are a very pleasing aural experience.

Radio 199.3 is your typical acoustic midtempo, but with some very creative chord choices to make the song stand out above all the other acoustic midtempos we've heard this month. I'm typical a sucker for these types of songs (and their RnB cousins), so even if SBGB didn't include the ear catching chord progressions, I'd still be a fan of this song.

This is a song for soft days. For rainy afternoons that make you wanna curl up in bed with someone special. Or those days when things are just kind of blue, and you wanna listen to something simple.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Thank You, Goodbye (BoA)

BoA, once again proving that she is indeed That Bitch™ (as in, That Bitch™ who loves to spread ha'self too thin), has released the the title track from her new Japanese album two days before she drops her new Korean album.

Because why scalp ya fandom once, when you can do it twice?!?! IN TWO DIFFERENT COUNTRIES!!

Thank You, Goodbye is a Japanese Ballad. If you've been a J-Pop fan for any period of time, you've decided if you like these types of songs or hate them (song quality notwithstanding). I happen to really like the way they sound, and I absolutely adore Thank You, Goodbye. BoA has a very shrill, nasal voice, so anytime she records a song like this, it's a risk that it could turn out Very Bad™. But the production in Thank You, Goodbye compliments BoA's voice well. And speaking of her voice, whomstever was on vocal production duties was on their A game, cause these arrangements are A1. You deserve a raise, babe!!

BoA's Thank You, Goodbye album is due for release in Japan on February 14, while Nega Dola is due for release in Korea on January 31.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Shall We Dance (SBGB)

Shall We Dance is a very different song than what I was expecting. I thought she was gonna be an upbeat acoustic number, but what I got was a melancholy piano driven midtempo.

I'm not upset, tho. On the contrary, I'm very content.

Shall We Dance sees SBGB sprinkling in unusual sonic choices (including an uptick in tempo at the end of the track) to make their acoustic midtempos pop just like in Radio 199.3. This is all tied together with the very bright (but restrained) soprano of their vocalist.

I like Shall We Dance more than I do Radio 199.3, simply because I like piano driven tracks more than acoustic guitar ones, but I don't see myself listening to it as much as Radio 199.3. Radio 199.3 is a song for a specific mood, but the mood of Shall We Dance is quite darker than the one in Radio 199.3, That's not something I really want in my space all the time. Still, this song makes my Musician Brain™ very happy.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Cherry On Top (10:45 from The Unit G)

Y'all, I was so so S O sure that Cherry On Top was gonna make the Fabulous Five for this week!! I don't know what name I'd put on songs with this kind of synth bass that also acts like a melodic element and a percussive one, but I fucking L O V E them. I loved it in SNSD's All Night (All Night should have been all the chorus bits, imo), and I loved it in the Cherry On Top preview.

But Cherry On Top is Como se dice... Not Good™.

Now, I listen to Cherry On Top like crazy, because I'm a fan of all of the different elements. But I listen to a lot of songs that I'd rate very poorly, because a) my taste in music is trash and b) I like fun music. If you're song isn't made well, but is a fun aural experience, I can excuse that.

I'm not gonna put you in a top faves list, because I have *some* integrity. But I mean...

The problem with Cherry On Top is that the verses and the choruses are too different, and the transition from the verse to the chorus is whack af. I mean, they *tried* (once), but it's still too jarring of a change. And I don't understand why they jumped right from the verse to the chorus after the rap in the second verse. That always throws me off. This bridge is also trash. It's literally just the prechorus, copy and pasted after the second refrain section. Blegh.

Today's video of Cherry On Top is brought to you by the ladies of The UNIT G's 10:45 unit winning second place in the digital single challenge. There is also a performance version of the video (that I wish was the original) that you can view here. And be sure to watch the ladies of 10:45 making your fave boy band look redundant on Music Bank here!!

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Always (Blooming of The Unit G)

I'm not gonna lie, the first time I heard Always, I turned my tv off because I couldn't find my phone to change the video. I really had that visceral of a reaction to the song.

Always is every cutesy K-Pop song you've ever heard. And I usually love these kinds of songs; they're fun, even if they aren't the most imaginative thing in the world. But Always is just ridiculously saccharine. It's a little too much, sis. It did end of growing on me, but this is not a song I want in my face all the time.

Today's video of Always is brought to you by the ladies of The UNIT G's Blooming unit winning first place in the digital single challenge. There is also a performance version of the video that you can view here. And be sure to check out Blooming perform Always on Music Bank here!!

Rating - Shuffle Bait

I Wanna Become a Celeb (Celeb Five)

Whoever said trot music was boring has clearly never heard of Celeb 5.

Granted, I'm pretty sure this is a project group, because *I've* never heard of them before this song. Either way, I Wanna Become a Celeb is a really fun trot song that's perfect if you need something over the top to jam to.

The best part of I Wanna Become a Celeb is how it refuses to take itself seriously. There's a random ass break in the middle of the track where it totally changes vibes twice, and then goes back to the original. The vocals are done in a tongue in cheek manner. The entire thing is just a really fun mess, and I love everything about it.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

The Perks Of Breaking Up (Cho Jung Chi featuring Fromm)

The Perks of Breaking Up is a sad song. But not too sad, if that makes sense.

The Perks of Breaking Up is a soft synthrock ballad. I really like the way it builds from a simple acoustic guitar all the way up to a rousing orchestration of guitars and synths. A song like this could have easily turn dreary and overly sad, but the arrangement and composition uplifts it. Yes, this is a song about a breakup, but it isn't the end of the world. Take what you need to be sad, and live. That's the feeling I get from this song. Tis nice.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Propose (Younha)

Miss Younha, not content with the pile of wigs she procurred with last month's Hello and Parade, has blessed us with an Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo in the form of Propose.

We love a benevolent queen, babies.

Propose, like I mentioned above, is an Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo. Ms Younha's voice is complimented well by a soft guitar and electric keyboard, which are all laid over a soft n simple drum machine. A song like this is Shuffle Bait in the best of ways, imo. I'd put this on on my own accord, mind you, but this is the kind of song I'd look forward to playing if I put my phone on shuffle.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Always Find You (Kwon Yuri x RAIDEN)

I see Future Bass is the mood of #TwentyGayTeen. Not sure how I feel about that, but considering how much I like Always Find You (and how I can't wait for Seventeen to ruin my life with Thank You), I guess I don't mind.

The problem that I have with most Future Bass songs is that they lack any type of punch or originality. And I mean, most styles of EDM really do not have any room for originality, but Future Bass just seems to have this problem where producers and DJs just churn out the most generic sounding beats they can. Always Find You, thankfully, doesn't have that issue.

Always Find You has a breakdown that washes over you and makes you feel like you're floating. There's a depth of sound/feeling here that I don't get with most Future Bass tracks. Yuri isn't the best vocalist, but she does her best to stand head and shoulders above the instrumentation (and has a producer that wants those Big Man Monies™). There are also vocoded bits that serve as a hook interjected into the prechorus that make it pop, and it's just... *clenches fist* So Good!!

Always find you is a collaboration between Yuri and English based producer/DJ Raiden for SMSTATION. There is an English version that features on Protocol Records' Youtube channel that you can watch here.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Hometown (Ryan)

Ryan's Hometown sounds like someone decided to take acid, and turn the experience into a song. It's... I'm not quite sure if I like the way it turned out.

Hometown starts out nice and easy, folks. She's not gonna hurt you. Yet. Ryan creates a beautifully tranquil atmosphere with just his voice and a piano, but it doesn't stay that way for long. Hometown very quickly builds and crests into a drop that I would lovingly describe as Dissociation At It's Finest™.

Cause a bitch feels like she's flying!! YEEHAW, MOTHERFUCKERS!!

After the second verse is when Hometown takes a turn into Bad Trip™ land. This section takes the gentle and almost euphoric feeling of the first drop, and inverts them into something nightmareish. If you're not prepared for this section, it can scare the absolute shit outta you. I don't know why Ryan decided to add it, because the lazy bitch couldn't be fucked to properly transition out of it when he goes into the second prechorus. Either way, if you can get past how odd that shit is, Hometown is pretty great.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Beautiful Life (Six Bomb)

Six Bomb is a group that keeps cropping up out of nowhere and surprising my ass, and you'd think I'd be used to this shit by now. At least they left the gimmicky concepts at home, and decided to just deliver a nice song this time around.

Beautiful Life is really not much to write home around. It's just a really simple pop song, accented by a sax riff that honestly makes the song. If you're sick to the back of ya teef of sax riffs in your pop music, then skip to the next song, this one is not for you. But if you don't mind them, Beautiful Life is nice.

Rating - Shuffle Bait

Baby Boo (High Soul featuring KissN and Mint)

You know that feeling when you stan a rookie from a small company that you aren't sure is gonna make it?!!?! That's me with High Soul. She showed up last year on a random episode of Music Core with a song I couldn't find a video for, and besides a few more sporadic daily music show appearances, I haven't heard from her since.

Baby Boo is a very cutesy swing song that I have to be in a cutesy mood to listen to. If the entire track was just KissN (except for Lime's rap break), I'd probably like this way more, but High Soul's nasally tone is a bit too much with the brightness of the instrumentation. I'm glad that she's still making music, but sis... This ain't the move.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Miss You (Jang Sooa)

Miss You is a very smooth and straight forward RnB song. This is the type of song I wanna play after listening to a song like CHASY's Memories:Snow, because it helps me anchor my soul back to reality.

Cause shit, a bitch really be visitin' four dimensions in the Higher Realm™ while listening to tracks like Memories:Snow.

Miss You is your typical Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo to the T. But that's okay, sis!! We love those around these parts!! People these days are really scared to do shit that's considered ~typical~, but sometimes it's just best to stay in your lane. And that's what Ms Sooa does with Miss You.

Ms Sooa has a really pretty voice that compliments the instrumentation of Miss You very well. More intricate vocal production/arrangement would've been appreciated, tho. And mayhaps a rap break?!?! I feel like this needs a rap break. Nonetheless, a really nice song.

Rating - Shuffle Bait

vague (Ha Un)

Vague is a song you'd hear playing in an upscale bar. Pleasantly funky, but in a manner you can ignore if you wanted to.

There's not really much for me to say about vague other than "I liked it, it was good". A song like this is a textbook Shuffle Bait track, sis. I like the funkiness of the guitars and bass, and the way Ha Un's voice sis on top of the track is Very Nice™, but everything from the arrangement to the chord progressions used here are things I've heard in other songs. And not only that, but used more creatively.

Vague isn't a bad song, it just isn't that creative. And honestly, while I did just say that sometimes it's better to just stay in your lane, sometimes you stay a little *too* far in your lane.

Rating - Shuffle Bait

FLY (Heera featuring PDAY)

FLY is a song I was looking forward to, because the teasers gave me a nice instrumental. But sis... Heera's vocals were whack. They did the thing where they had the hook play out over silence, and... It wasn't cute. BUT!! I've been fooled by teasers before, so I figured I should hear FLY in full before condemning it.

My initial reaction was correct. This instrumentation is amazing, but Miss Heera's voice gets hella screechy. It's not pleasant. And while I like that this is an experimental electroRnB track that isn't too left field, I don't like it enough to purposefully play the song more than twice.

Rating - Shuffle Bait

6 (Six) (MDSZ)

6 sounds like it should be the opener for a Shounen Jump anime. That extended intro at the beginning would lend itself very well to a Bleach or Black Cat type of show.

6 is a synth driven pop/punk track. I wasn't sure what to make of this song at first, but it grew on me. Like, a fuckin' weed. This type of track would be great to work out to. I mean, I don't really work out, but I'd assume the energy here would hype you up like you're the baddest bitch in that gym.

If I ever find myself in Korea, I'd love to hear this song live. The studio version packs quite the punch, but it feels a little restrained. And that's very common with songs like these, because mixing them requires you to EQ a lot of the different elements quite aggressively to get them to sound nice together in a recording. But still, live show. I wanna be there.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

The Fabulous Five

5. NIRVANA (Ravi)

Can someone please find me what that melody being played by the xylophone at the beginning of this song is from?!?!! It sounds so annoying familiar, but I can't place it and it's gonna drive me nuts.

Not as nuts as Ravi's Sik-k imitations, but close.

Nirvana starts out sounding very on trend for a K-HipHop song. I'm not gonna lie, I was debating if I should leave Nirvana off the list, because Ravi's intro was just... So Bad™. But since we're being better people in 2018, I decided to give the whole song a chance, and I was very surprised. The verse had me boppin' a lil, cause Ravi ditches the autotune and starts rapping like he means it.

But nothing could have prepared for the Rave Realness™ of the chorus, ladies.

The autotune is back with a vengeance, but it fits the Rave backdrop better, so I'm not mad. And I will admit (grudgingly), that the hook is catchy as fuck all. This combination, lowkey, reminds me of Azealia Banks' Ice Princess (the verse bits on Nirvana are more RnB than trap, but same concept). This kind of combo really shouldn't work, but the transition into the Rave sections from the verses is clean af.

Jimin's bits are a nice break from Ravi (he's learned to stop embellishing his voice, but he can still be annoying at times), but I feel like they could have utilized her more in the track. The brightness of her voice contrasts the depth of Ravi's, plus she elevates the Rave sections very nicely. But we literally hear her for 10 seconds twice and dassit, boo!!

For whatever reason, Nirvana gets mixed into one of the b-sides on Ravi's mixtape called Alcohol in the official video. You can listen to both tracks separately here.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

4. Sunset Dream (Kriesha Chu)

Miss Kriesha Chu got bored with that Future Bass mess Hui (of Pentagon) gave her and decided to take a swipe at Ariana's ponytail. Turn up!!

Sunset Dream swaggerjacks Problem down to the horn riffs and trap breakdowns, sis. Fortunately, it does so in a way that improves upon the original, and isn't reductive. Kriesha Chu doesn't particularly care that we know she stole Problem out from underneath Ariana Grande's nose. She just wants us to know that she's a better dancer.

And has more stage presence, but let's not get *too shady*.

I don't really understand why Like Paradise was chosen to be the title track from Kriesha Chu's first glorified single album mini album when Sunset Dream was right there. This song makes Like Paradise look dusty af, and I'm salty as hell now. Either way, I'm glad she decided to perform it on MCD One Good Time™. If you'd like to hear the studio version, you may do so here.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

3. Memories:Snow (CHASY featuring Yeonhee)

If I ever lucked out and got cast in a movie, I'd want this song to play during the first makeout scene with my character's boyfriend. These types of really intense breakdowns are perfect for those types of scenes, sis.

CHASY's Memories:Snow is what I wanted from Ryan's Hometown - a straightforward EDM track to dissociate to. There are no surprise breakdowns or beat switches here, baby. Memories:Snow is 100% chillstep. And I fucking love it. These types of songs are great for bad days, because they either make me cry or feel like I'm floating.

Obviously, I like the floaty feel feels better, because that doesn't make physically exhausted, but sometimes a bitch just has to cry.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

2. Glue (Planetarium Records)

Last we saw the boys of Planetarium Records, they were ruining my life with tropical flavored RnB. Glue sees them trading in the tropical synths and drum beats for more conventional, Gospel inspired RnB sounds and hip hop beats.

And to the utter surprise and shock of absolutely no one, I fucking loved it.

While Blah was a "winin' on the beach, dancin' by the sand castles" type of track that would make any misc. group of niggas party go crazy, Glue is slow n sultry. Glue is a "slow dancing with bae" type track. Glue is a "I'm gon' romance you if it's the L A S T thing I do" track. Glue is the type of song you sing to bae when you wanna get in dem guts (or have bae blunder yours #InclusivityInOurSexJams). Glue is a song of many moods, sis.

Glue is brought to us today via a special showcase live video. The Planetarium boys were kind enough to also post their performance of Blah, which you may view here.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

1. On or Off (Nick & Sammy)

So like... Y'all just gon' snatch up Eric Nam like that!?!? Y'all really gon' steal my mans' song, and do it better than him!?!?!? I'm not mad (#SorryBae :3), I'm just curious, sis!!

On or Off is 90% a funky ass bassline, and y'all K N O W how I feel about Funk in my K-Pop!! It's also 90% Sammy rapping (and a lil singing), but I'm absolutely not mad at that, either. Nick comes in with his smooth n bright tenor just enough that it doesn't feel like On or Off is Sammy featuring Nick (in fact, I probably wouldn't like this song as much if it was just Sammy), so it's all good.

On or Off, like I mentioned above, is Funky af. Nick & Sammy have snatched their own little slice of the '90s with track, and it works so ridiculously well. On or Off is also lowkey af; this is a song you play when the party's winding down, sis. It's a lil hype, but you not trynna have nobody be buckwild.

Btw, am I just imagining things or does it sound like the na na na's were quoted from Will Smith's Gettin' Jiggy Wit It?!?!?! They didn't lift the actual audio from the song, but it sounds like they recorded their own version of that bit.

1theK continues to do the Lord's work by providing a Special Clip of On or Off (it's basically a live studio recording with) that you can watch here. Nick & Sammy also posted a dance practice video to their channel that you can view here. And be sure to check out the other videos on their Youtube channel; their covers and mashups are fucking amazing.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Alright guys, that's it for today's list!! Be sure to tune in this time next for my next Review Roundup featuring songs from this week (I'll try to keep it under 20 songs this time, but no promises)!! And don't forget to keep your eyes open on Friday for the next entry in my SHINee Feature Spotlight series, where we're gonna be looking at some of SHINee's more contemporary tracks!!

I'm also starting up full length reviews again, pending my work schedule. I've got two lined up for next Monday, one at 12pm EST and the other at 6pm EST. Be sure to show them some love, guys!!

Love you all.

[hannahstarshade]

Ten UNDERTALE Fanworks Every Fan Needs to Check Out

It’s February 15th, time once again to celebrate International Fanworks Day! Seriously, how great is that? Whether it’s books, movies, comics, games or television series, fanworks make up a huge part of their communities. This year I’m tackling UNDERTALE, the game that most people (myself included) fell in love with and whose fandom is still going strong more than a year later.

Some of them have been completed, some of them are only partially done, and some of them have been forgotten. Regardless of their status, I think they’re special and amazing and I hope you will love them as much as I do. I’ll do my best to leave out any spoilers.

Death by Glamour

Here’s a neat animatic featuring our favorite human and robot. Animated by Alyssa Gerwing, this video makes their battle look really cool, bringing the fight sequence out of the box and into UNDERTALE’s real world. You have to love the pacing and timing, which is perfectly in sync with the boss music. The facial expressions really give it something extra, whether it be humor or drama. What a stylish video! @walkingmelonsaaa

Papyrus Finds a Human

This animation was an unexpected delight. This was not the cutesy video I thought it would be. With it’s mild swearing and cartoon violence, Mike (a.k.a. Piemations) created a brilliantly funny video. The voice acting is flawless. The punchlines hit home. Papyrus is the best. I can’t write much else without giving all the best bits away. Just go experience it for yourself. As an added bonus, I highly recommend turning on the subtitles while watching the video for the second time. You will not be disappointed.

UNDERTALE ANNIVERSARY

This animation blew me away. I was a fan of iscoppie’s Game Grumps animations before this, but wow. This six-minute video depicts a moment I rarely see people tackle: how Undyne and Alphys met. It’s a bittersweet meeting when you really think about it, and this animation captures and balances all of the emotions involved: fear, hope, resignation, awe. The colors are gorgeous, the voice talent is wonder, and the music is beautiful. This is the best UNDERTALE tribute to date. @iscoppie

The Sons of Gaster

There are many theories as to how, or even if, Sans and Papyrus are connected to W.D. Gaster. One popular theory is that they were created by the doctor. This two-part comic series by sansybones depicts the skeleton brothers’ beginnings: their time with Gaster, growing and gaining independence, and how the two bros become family. The black-and-white style–with the occasional blue–is very effective and looks really nice. I especially love Papyrus’ facial expressions; they capture his personality perfectly. One thing I do appreciate is that this isn’t just a Sans story. Papyrus is just as important and has just as much focus and growth. Sansybones’ depiction of the UNDERTALE characters is fantastic. Their feelings, struggles, and personalities feel genuine and sincere. It’s an emotional roller coaster well worth the ride. @sansybones

They Say He Shattered

I’m a big fan of the multiverse theory. I’ve talked about it extensively in regards to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. If you’re like me, then this comic is right up your alley. Emily plays with the idea of timelines collapsing and converging in They Say He Shattered, creating the best kind of mess. It’s a fascinating story that balances humor and seriousness very well. Each game ending results in another dimension, but it seems the very fabric of time and space has been broken. Characters come face-to-face with different realities or feel the effects of forces on their other selves. Some things happen out of order. Some things that never should have been are now possible. It’s really hard to explain, but well worth a read. I’m really excited to get to the bottom of this mystery. @theysayheshattered

A CHARActer Analysis

Normally when we think of “fanwork” we think of art, music, fanfiction, cosplay, videos, and animation. However, this thesis bears recognition. Toby Fox created a cast of characters rich in personality and full of life. Chara is one of the only characters in UNDERTALE to be almost unanimously revered and portrayed as one-dimensional. They’re evil and hate humanity and that’s the end of that. Only it’s not. In this analysis we are shown every detail we may have missed. Chara’s story is scattered throughout the game. There are so many subtle hints and clues that most people wouldn’t notice or even think twice about. This in-depth thesis is by far the best explanation of who/what Chara is, who they were, and their role in the overall game. With all of this evidence, you may find yourself viewing Chara in a completely different light. @thefloweryfanclub

Never a Lovely So Real

The artwork shown above was created by theslowesthnery.

Of all the UNDERTALE AU’s, the Gangster/Mob AU is my big favorite. I adore this AU, and this fanficiton was heaven-sent. Kaesa’s Never a Lovely So Real is loosely based on Hnery’s neat headcanons and spectacular art surrounding the Gangster AU. This story is told from Sans’ point of view as he tries to keep the family safe. You have all of your favorite major characters playing their roles in the operation, while a lot of minor characters show up frequently as well. I really appreciate that Sans and Alphys are science bros and have to work as a team. I normally don’t like a who lot of new characters being added into fanfictions, but here it works. Getting to know the rival gang members goes to show that not everything is black-and-white, especially in these types of situations. Much like the game, the “bad guys” aren’t always bad guys. One of the greatest things about this fanfiction is how much research and knowledge went into it. I was impressed by how authentic this story felt the first time I read through it. Kaesa did her homework and it shows. There’s mystery. There’s action. There’s romance. There’s suspense. This is a great work. Did I mention the Gangster AU was my favorite? @kaesaaurelia 

Under Shield

The artwork shown above was created by hamstermastersamster.

Here we have my favorite post-true-pacifist story. Under Shield by Fantasia Wandering is a series of fics told out of order telling of Frisk growing up and growing into their role as ambassador, as well as dealing with their past and becoming part of a family again. Frisk is given a lot of character and background, but it never seems like too much. Frisk is a person with big feelings and big thoughts, and sometimes they can weigh too heavily on their mind. These feelings, accompanied with the struggles of growing up, are relatable to everyone and make it easy to slip into Frisk’s shoes. Although Frisk is the main focus, some of the main cast have important developments as well. One of the most powerful chapters in this series is the eighth part: Penance. Asgore’s redemption arc is a prominent theme throughout the series. He’s not immediately forgiven for his sins by Toriel, or even himself. This in turn affects his relationship with Frisk. It’s a process that takes many years and the reader is there for each important step. This fic’s strongest suit is its stunning imagery. The environments Fantasia has created are painted so vividly. Any reader can picture the settings in great detail. Overall, this is one well-written series. @fantasiawandering

Blood of the Covenant

The artwork shown above was created by donidoodles.

Remember when PTA Sans was a thing? Well, this is the PTA slice-of-life UNDERTALE story the fans deserve. Blood of the Covenant takes place nearly a decade after the game. Everyone has grown up–and it shows–but they still retain their character. Doni’s characterization is so on point. This fic has the most realistic high school you’ll ever find. None of that Lifetime or Disney Channel nonsense here. The history teacher coaches the football team, the PTA is a hot mess, and aside form a few ass-hats the kids are generally nice and friendly. (Is this my high school? I feel like this was based on my high school.) The story’s strongest appeal is that every character’s time is balanced and utilized effectively. This cast is huge and yet every single one of them has their time to shine. I’ve read a lot of UNDERTALE PTA fics and most of them are a lot of fun, but a common trend in those stories is that the human members of the PTA (Linda, Helen, etc.) are usually so cartoonish and two-dimensional, like their only purpose is to be ignorant evil villains. Here our antagonists are fleshed out. They have feelings, struggles, even arcs of their own. They learn and grow just as the protagonists do. This is a fantastic, well-rounded story. I lost so much sleep the first time I read through it because I could not stop. It was all worth it, though. I promise. @doniblogs

The Scientist

The link provided leads to AO3, but you can also read it on Tumblr. The artwork shown above was created by hamstermastersamster.

This is my favorite pre-game scenario. Out of all the fanfictions I’ve read, this two-part series written by Pen has the best portrayal of Dr. W.D. Gaster and his backstory. The first part of the series, The Scientist, revolves around the life and times of the royal scientist before Dr. Alphys got the job. The passage of time feels seamless, from the point of monsters’ imprisonment to the end of Gaster’s existence. It makes sense and goes right along with UNDERTALE’s timeline. Everything fits together like a puzzle. I could go on and on about the relationship between Gaster and Sans. It is just so strong and told very well. They are co-workers instead of father and son as I’ve seen in many fanfictions. (I prefer the colleague dynamic, actually.) The audience can get a real sense that their bond teeters between healthy camaraderie and toxic friendship, eventually falling to the side of the latter. The second part in the series, Entropy, shifts the focus onto Sans and how he deals with the aftermath of Gaster’s disappearance. It shows Sans’ own decline; he is deteriorating into the character we see in-game. This story is as well-written and intriguing as its predecessor. It paints by far the most natural, realistic relationship between Papyrus and Sans. Their situation, their dialogue, and their banter is so believable. There’s something really pure about it that just makes me smile. This series, you guys. This series. @talkingsoup

So there you have it! I had so much fun making this list. I can’t believe I’ve been working on this post for a whole year.Shortly after I made a similar post about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fanworks last International Fanworks Day, I got right to work on this one. Thanks as always to anyone who read this. If you’d like to discuss anything you read here today or have recommendations of your own, please feel free to reply to this post or drop something in my ask box. Have an awesome day, friends! @undertale

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Fall 2016 Season Wrapup, Part 2: The Flip Side

Not to give anything away, but while compiling this post I noticed that alphabetical order is also exactly in descending order of quality. Since that’s not very nice to read, I’ll start with... O.

Occultic;Nine

Oh boy, Occultic;Nine. I should have known that this was going to be painful after its obnoxious first episode, but O;9 has the irritating property of always promising just enough to keep me watching, but barely ever being any good. And then I got to the end and realized I had just finished the worst anime I’ve seen in years. The real tragedy here is that none of this seems to be the result of misfortune, this show is designed from the ground up to be the most nauseating thing imaginable, and they totally pulled it off too. Easily the biggest culprit here is the way that the writing is translated to the screen: The narrative pacing of O;9 is actually okay, but the script adaptation clearly saw the typically bloated LN and thought that all of these words had to be preserved. So about 90% of this show is people talking as fast as they possibly can in either a flat monotone or freakout shrieking, with any space for breathing edited out in postproduction. What are they talking about? As far as I can tell, mostly random shit the author found on Wikipedia. The visual presentation tries to make this stupendous amount of blah interesting, which mostly means cutting to random wacky filmschool angles at sub-second intervals and having the characters jiggle around like they have an epileptic seizure. Speaking of the characters: Half of them are useless and half of the rest is only there to add even more useless exposition, which wouldn’t be a huge problem if any of them were in the least bit likable. But, as usual for the semicolon series, they’re all a bunch of smug nerd assholes. You do what you gotta do to get nine characters together so you can do an insipid title drop, I suppose. I won’t comment much on how sensical the mystery story itself is since at some point I just gave up on following this bullshit, but I do know that the one decent twist it has is in the middle, a lot of the subplots don’t go anywhere and the ending is extra bullshit enabled by an outrageous amount of plot convenience.

The sad part is that it has a bunch of really positive aspects: When it does shut up, it can do some really beautiful, moody scenes, but quiet time in Occultic;Nine is about as rare as action scenes in a cheap fighting shounen. The music’s pretty great, as is the opening and ending. The characters are animated to an almost distressing degree. It even has a bunch of neat ideas, like people being so much up their own ass that they don’t even notice that they’re dead. But somehow the amount of polish wasted on this turd only makes the whole thing even worse. It would be a bad show even if it was watchable; as it is, it’s straight up horrible.

Hibike! Euphonium S2

If it’s polish you want, you can’t beat KyoAni anyway. Euphonium’s second season is not a turd, but it’s a highly polished... nothing? While Euphonium ends up very watchable, the source material is also the culprit here. The sequel has the weird combination of stretching out its drama arcs far too much (in S1 an arc would maybe take one or two episodes, here’s only two major ones in the entire season), and also lacking any sort of filler - while I wasn’t a huge fan of the moe shenanigans in S1 and considered them inoffensive at best, the absence of them here just makes the show incredibly dour, and the amazingly blunt yuribait is also toned down significantly. With Hazuki and Midori mostly gone and Reina only showing up for a brief, not very engaging subplot, Euphonium is now absolutely a show about teenagers taking the one thing their lives inexplicably revolve around (the band competition nationals) far too seriously, which causes an amount of drama war tragedies usually fail to reach. Especially the first arc is just puzzling; it’s about characters we never heard or cared about before and is mainly built out of Kumiko either overhearing people expositing about it by sheer chance, or people spilling their heart to her for no reason. And then it just resolves itself. The second major arc is at least about a character that mattered before, but I never found Asuka very interesting and dropping a tragic backstory on her for purposes of sad doesn’t change that, and doesn’t really relate to her mysterious behavior much either. But at least that arc does something that had eluded Euphonium all this time: It manages to make Kumiko herself moderately interesting. Both of the arcs show that Euphonium is still pretty good at resolving its drama in huge, theatralic scenes, but is very clumsy at setting it up, which is pretty bad when said setup takes 5 episodes. It pretty much says it all when my favorite moment by far is a long, unbroken performance scene, which looks dope but notably does not require any writing whatsoever.

The presentation is still excellent, and KyoAni’s particular gimmick here is striving for maximum realism with a lot of artificial lens and lighting effects combined with unusually naturalistic voice acting, which is nice but raises a big question: If Euphonium was what it’s clearly trying to be (a j-drama), would I have any interest in watching it? And the answer to that is an unambiguous no. Not to mention that realistic presentation doesn’t help much when the scenes in question are either boring or the most stagey, overwritten, “I have prepared a speech for this occasion” monologues imaginable. Overall I can’t say that Euph is bad now, but it just lacks a lot of what I liked about it in S1 and doubles down on aspects I never warmed up to. I can appreciate its expressive character work, but on its own that is not enough for a great show.

Girlish Number

Girlish Number really has one big problem: It can’t decide whether it wants to be cutesy slice of life, farcical satire or legitimate character drama. It swings between these aspects rather freely, but they tend to get in each other’s way much more often than they enhance each other. It has a sizeable cast of cute girls making cute faces, but not enough focus on them for that to be worthwhile. The satire is too one-note to be consistently funny and too shallow to be really incisive - I’m totally down for an anime industry satire, but then you have to bring a little more to the table than “everyone’s just kind of greedy and lazy, I guess”. And the character drama... well, it’s actually pretty good at that. But only when main character Chitose is not involved, since Chitose is far too much of a joke to make me care about her life problems, and unsurprisingly the resolution to her arc swings decidedly in the direction of cynical satire again anyway. In the end, the life lesson everyone learns is “you gotta be a shit to get paid”, which is fine by me but not exactly something you need multiple episodes of angst to set up. I’d happily have watched a character drama about the girls that aren’t total trashcans mugging at the camera, or alternatively a comedy of errors about Chitose. But not both at the same time. Girlish Numbers has its moments and it’s probably worth watching for those, but fails to come together to a form a coherent whole.

Fune wo Amu

I righteously laughed my ass off at Fune wo Amu’s attempts to be profound in its first episode, but in the end my secondary prediction for the show came true: Fune wo Amu is primarily a really good slice-of-life story about somewhat eccentric adults doing an unusual job (editing dictionaries). Like most good anime of this kind, it doesn’t do a lot but gets the details right: The characters are well-written and sympathetic, it does a clever timeskip of 10 years in the middle that saves it from getting repetitive, and its realistic character animation is generally spot-on without falling prey to the filter demon that is consuming KyoAni. There’s really not much else to say here, it’s rarely amazing but it’s a good time. So far so good, but the ridiculous aspect never quite goes away either; it’s not totally the focus of the show like it was in the beginning, but Fune wo Amu is still very, very proud of its “a dictionary is a boat on a sea of words” metaphor and brings it up at every opportunity, and while it may have seemed moderately insightful at the first mention, by the end it becomes abundantly clear that there’s really not much mileage in it. Occasionally hamfisted writing aside, it doesn’t seem to trust the strengths of its material on a visual level either, and tries to spruce it up in very silly ways: Most of the time this comes up, you will indeed be shown a literal sea of words, likely with the characters staring wistfully into it because this shit’s so deep, man. Add to this a few other instances of illustrations of simple concepts that are clearly trying a lot harder than would be necessary and a completely bewildering chibi comedy section in the middle of every episode, and that really puts a big dent into the subtle, robust qualities of the show. The saving grace is when it goes ham it goes all the way ham, and laughing at the bad parts means that it’s still always entertaining. Fune wo Amu is probably the most puzzling combination of ironic camp appeal and genuine quality I’ve ever seen, and while I can’t call a show that’s this flawed truly top tier, I can’t deny that it’s a very fun time.

Flip Flappers

But the clear highlight of Fall is not a flawed mature anime for mature watchers such as myself, but this bizarre animator fever dream. At first Flip Flappers seemed to be Space Dandy without the bad parts, which I would have been plenty fine with, but it soon became apparent that there was more going on here: An Ikuhara-style illustration of puberty anxieties with a big hint of the ol’ gay. And Flip Flappers strikes a particularly good balance between these extremes, it’s very entertaining and straightforward on a surface level while still providing a lot of food for thought, unlike the frequently just plain stupid Dandy or the irritatingly opaque and mannered Yuri Kuma Arashi. It obviously helps that it looks mighty tasty too - while it’s only a sakugafest some of the time, the backgrounds, character designs and art direction are fantastic. Another strength is the show’s tone, which is generally very lighthearted without being overtly comedic, just like I like it. For most of the show’s runtime the combination of fantastic world of the week with the strong throughline of Cocona’s and Papika’s growing friendrelationship keeps things extremely varied without seeming random. Unlike the usual genre shifter show that plays everything for a joke, Flip Flappers is legitimately good at what it does; When it’s doing an action episode, the action is rad, when it does a horror episode it’s spooky, and when it’s doing drama it’s emotional. I’ve also rarely seen a show where I like all the characters down to the bit players this much, and when even the requisite cutesy sidekicks are great, you know you have a strong showing. In the last third, a stronger plot comes to the surface, and while that relatively standard scifi anime plot is not quite as great as what came before, it’s still good and the subtext remains interesting, and while the production values take a minor hit, it’s still a looker. And most importantly, by that point I already loved the show and when you love something, it takes more than a little plot detour to fall out of love. And unlike most of these shows that drop the ball towards the end, the ending ending is really strong and satisfying - Flip Flappers is no Kyousougiga, because it neither nosedives as hard nor relies on the plot as much to make any sense at all. It’s not perfect, but I wasn’t expecting perfection from this leftfield passion project to begin with so it’s all good. Not quite enough to be the best of the year (Rakugo looms large), but easily the best of the season. Highly recommended.