#and i left last year because of my stupid toxic ex boyfriend

[kameyyy]

oh those aren't very nice news to wake up to

[cameronluvr]

EXES BEST FRIEND — topper thornton x fem reader + rafe cameron x fem reader

summary: rafe is your ex boyfriend and you decide to get revenge on him by sleeping with his best friend topper at a party, but you didn’t expect him to walk in on you both…

warnings: 18+ MDNI ➾ consumption of alcohol, underage drinking, cuss words, smut, semi public sex, unprotected sex, drunk sex, toxic!rafe, arguing, getting walked in on, yelling etc

MY MASTERLIST / RAFE MASTERLIST

you and rafe broke up three months ago after a two year long relationship. it was toxic to say the least, rafe was abusive and controlling and everything he did ruined your self esteem, until you finally gained the courage to dump him and move on.

earlier this week, you were invited to a figure 8 house party by a kook boy who was interested in one of your friends, who was also going, of course. now it’s the night of the party, and you and your friends managed to get a few pre drinks in at your house before heading over there.

you and your three friends tipsily stumble into the party hand in hand with each other as you laugh and head through the crowded house over to the kitchen, where you grab some more drinks to get the night properly started. all four of you had began to settle into the party with booze in your hands on the dance floor, dancing with each other and singing along to the songs playing.

as more time went by, the more alcohol entered your systems. one of your friends had somehow ended up making out with a boy in the middle of the crowd, and another friend was talking to a girl she recognized from high school, which left you and the last friend alone.

“wanna go get another drink?” you ask her, raising your voice over the booming music. “yeah” she says, grabbing your hand as the two of you make your way to the kitchen again. just as you grab another bottle from the crate and crack it open, you turn around and gasp at the sight of your ex boyfriend. “jesus…” you say, putting your hand on your chest as your friend stands beside you.

“hey y/n, what’s up” rafe says in a nice tone which makes you frown in suspicion. rafe couldn’t be nice if he tried to be, there’s always underlying tones to his voice, mainly sarcasm and pity.

“she’s fine, thank you.” your friend answers for you, knowing you didn’t have much to say to him. she shoots him a sarcastic smile which made him look at her and grin.

“oh, she don’t talk anymore, huh?” rafe asks, glancing at you before looking back at your friend. “not to you, no” she scoffs a laugh, which made him laugh at her. “oooh, feisty one your friend is, ain’t she?” rafe sarcastically says to you with that stupid mocking grin he does.

“go away, rafe.” you roll your eyes and grab your friends hand before walking away from him. “awh, i liked you better when you weren’t a stuck up bitch” rafe says to your friend to piss her off, which made her turn around and stop in her tracks, making you do the same.

“do you really have to be a dick right now?” you raise your voice and eyebrows at his audacity. “oh, she speaks!” rafe sarcastically exclaims, raising his arms. your eyes dart onto topper and kelce stood behind rafe, who were looking right at you with stupid grins on their faces to wind you up.

you give them no notice because they want to see you all riled up, that’s all rafe ever wants. you ignore him completely and grab your friend again, pulling her toward the other room again. “i can see your ass cheeks, ‘guess you really are just a slut after all” rafe says to you which made you groan and yell “fuck off” without stopping or turning around, hearing all three boys giggle like girls at your reaction as you walk out of the kitchen.

“ugh. what a stupid fucking asshole” you vent to your friend. “honestly, fuck him. he’s a prick. you should totally get on someone tonight, ‘would totally piss him off” your friend suggests with a giggle to lighten your mood, making you smile a bit. “i don’t know…” you sigh before you both return to your other two friends who were now both dancing with boys. “fair enough” you shrug, laughing it off as you and your friend resume dancing and drinking to take your mind off things.

another thirty minutes went by, drink after drink, and you found yourself wandering away from your friends and chatting to a random bunch of strangers out in the hallway. you needed to pee really badly, and you had no idea where any of your friends were, so you head up the stairs alone to find a bathroom.

it’s much quieter upstairs with a few odd people going in and out of bedrooms and up and down the stairs. you began searching for the bathroom when you found it, opening the door and stepping inside. when you close the door and turn around, you gasp and jump at the unexpected sight of someone in the bathroom with you.

“shit… sorr— topper?” you quickly apologize, realizing it was rafe’s best friend. “what are you doing? get out” topper says in a mean tone, giving you daggers as he zips up his pants. “i need to pee? you get out” you say to him, noticing he was done using the toilet.

“no, i was in here first” topper scoffs, flushing the toilet and walking over to the sink to wash his hands. “great, well you’re done now, so leave” you smile with a fake sweet tone in your voice, crossing your arms over your chest to wait. “don’t care. wait your turn, don’t come in here demanding” he rolls his eyes, turning off the faucet and drying his hands on himself.

“fine. i’ll just go. i don’t care” you shrug, the alcohol giving you confidence as you walk over to the toilet and pull your panties down from underneath your dress, “what are you doing?” topper frowns, looking at you as if you’re crazy. “going pee, what does it look like?” you ask, laughing as you sit down to pee with him right in front of you.

he doesn’t answer, he only rolls his eyes at you, trying not to look at any private part of yours. he doesn’t make a move for the door, he just stands there kinda watching you with a weird look on his face. you two never really got along so well in the past, with him constantly being on rafe’s side each time you argued. “see? you could’ve left but you didn’t—”

“because i was in here first.” you both bicker as you finish peeing, wrapping toilet paper over your hand to wipe yourself. he didn’t particularly watch you do it, but it was definitely in his vision. when you were done, you flush the toilet and wash your hands, all while topper is still in the bathroom.

“great, look at that, we’re both done. who’s getting the fuck out first?” you ask, giving him a sarcastic look. “i’m staying here” topper says, “okay. well i’m staying here too.” you say to piss him off, seeing him roll his eyes. “not much to do in a bathroom…” he shrugs. “why do you wanna stay here then?” you frown.

“why do you wanna stay here?” he asks the same question you did. “to annoy you.” you shrug and giggle, both of you in a pretty drunk state. “right. typical of you” he scoffs, seeing you reach into your purse and grabbing your lipstick. “mhm” you hum as you turn around to face the mirror, opening your lipstick and reapplying some.

“y’know, you already look like a whore so that lipstick isn’t going to change anything” he says rudely, making you scoff at his reflection in the mirror. “maybe i wanna be a whore” you shrug, focusing on applying the lipstick and rubbing your lips together, all while you lean over the sink counter with your ass cheeks hanging out of your short dress.

you see his eyes dart down to your ass in the mirror’s reflection, making you smirk and poke your butt out a little more, seeing him still looking. “if i’m such a whore, why’re you looking at me like that, hm?” you ask in a bratty tone, placing your lipstick aside and turning around to fully face him, his eyes now looking back up into yours.

“you can’t wear a dress like that and expect me not to look.” he says, looking you up and down which brings tension. “why? is it too much for you?” you tilt your head, a smirk playing at your lips. “yeah. y’look hot.” he says, his drunken state allowing him to forget that you’re his best friend’s ex and this is wrong.

“yeah? you want me to take it off?” you ask, your tone more soft and flirty now as you look at him with a smirk and raised eyebrows. “i mean…” he drags suggestively, making you laugh. “come take it off me then…” you offer, slowly grinning as you see the look on his face. he wants to devour you.

he doesn’t hesitate to take a step closer to you, your bodies just inches apart as the tension grows thicker. “don’t you have friends to get back to?” he asks, “don’t you?” your head tilts. “i asked you first” he says, stepping closer and reaching his hand down to your waist, pulling you closer.

“i have no idea where my friends are. the last i seen em’ they were busy kissing some guys downstairs.” you shrug, cozying up to him as your body gets comfortable being so close to his. “weird. i thought you would’ve been doing exactly that.” he jokes, acting like you’re the slutty friend out of your group.

“well i am… just upstairs” you grin, wrapping your arms behind his neck and pulling his head down to kiss you, your lips immediately crashing onto each others. the kiss turned deep fast, with both of your hands roaming one another’s bodies, his hands slid down to your ass where he grabbed both cheeks, making you giggle and stand on your tip toes. “you like that?” he asks, breaking the kiss for air.

“mhm,” you hum, pulling him back in for another kiss. you hate to admit it but you haven’t been with anyone since rafe, you haven’t been kissed, touched or fucked by another guy since. you were too afraid to jump into new relationships or bond with new guys just in case they were as toxic and crazy as he was, he definitely turned you off men for a while…

the kiss began to get heated as your hand trailed down to his crotch to tease him, feeling him get hard as he twirls his fingers around the sides of your panties, slowly pulling them down your thighs. your dress is still on, but it is raised to give him more access. you let him continue as you feel your panties drop to the floor, making you gasp and giggle.

his fingers instantly begin rubbing your wet pussy, making you moan into the kiss. “fuck…” he says, breathing heavily as he pulls away from the kiss, both of you panting for air as he backs you up onto the countertop, slightly lifting you up to sit on it with your ass cheeks hanging off the edge.

you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him closer, your hands cupping his face. his lips are inches away from yours as his hands grip the sides of your thighs. “you’re so hot…” he says, both of you drunk and lost in horniness. “you’re hot” you say, glancing down at his lips then back into his eyes. he takes this as a sign to kiss you again, so he does.

his hand rubs your pussy again, moaning softly at the feeling of your wetness. “y’wanna fuck?” he asks, pulling away while his fingers toy with your clit, making you moan. “yeah…”

“i don’t have any condoms—”

“i don’t care, i’m on the pill” you cut him off, too horny to even give a fuck about extra protection. he smirks in response before making out with you again, your hands gripping the back of his t-shirt to pull it off and throw it on the floor.

topper has a great body, you couldn’t help but look down at his toned abs and almost drool at the sight. his removes his hands from you to unbuckle his pants, pulling them down slightly along with his boxers. “i’m so hard” he pants, pulling his head away to look down at himself. “yeah? i’m so wet… fuck me…” you smirk, biting your lip as you tighten your legs around his waist, motioning for him to bring his dick to you.

without hesitation he pulls his boxers down, his hard cock springing out and hitting your leg. fuck, he was so big it made you wetter immediately. you lift your legs up some more, shifting your ass in an angle which easier for him to enter you. he grabs his dick and lines it up with your entrance, pushing the tip against it and hearing you gasp.

“fuck… you ready?” he asks, making you grin. he’s actually sweet when it comes to sex, he’s much less forceful and aggressive than rafe was. he asks questions instead of instantly going for what he wants. he respects you which makes you realize maybe not all guys are so bad.

“yeah” you nod, making eye contact with him as he slowly enters you, the both of you gasping at the feeling. “fuck… oh my god” you moan, throwing your head back as more of him enters you, filling you right up with his big cock. “look at me… i wanna look at your pretty face” he says, using his hand to gently pull your head back up.

hearing his words gave you butterflies in your belly and your pussy, his compliments and soft touches making you melt. “top…” you moan, clutching your arms around the back of his neck as your legs move with his hips, thrusting in and out of you.

“shiiit…” he groans, his pace getting rougher with each stroke. you make eye contact and kiss each other a few times before his kisses trail down your jaw and to your neck, where he sucks and bites on your skin. you unwrap your hands from around him and grip his shoulders instead, moaning as he thrusts hard.

you drunkenly fuck on the countertop for a while, kissing and giving each other hickeys. the eye contact he holds with you is insane. you couldn’t help but think about how different he was to rafe, given that he was the only guy you’d ever been with up until now. no matter how drunk you were, you will definitely not forget about this moment and how every thrust felt, every kiss, every little touch on your body…

“fuck… you feel so good,” you moan, looking at your lipstick stain all over topper’s mouth and giggling at it. “what?” he asks breathily, seeing you point at his mouth. he looks up into the mirror above your head and chuckles. “look at yours” he says, helping you turn your head to look at yourself in the mirror, seeing your lipstick smudged around your mouth. you both chuckle and you turn back around to face him, pulling him in for another kiss with as his hands play with your tits above your dress. you didn’t take it off, neither of you wanted to be too exposed being at a crowded party and all.

you went at it for a couple more minutes, moaning each other’s names and exploring each others bodies and mouths. the music downstairs was so loud that it boomed and echoed through the entire house, not allowing you to hear anything else from outside the bathroom, not even the footsteps coming up the stairs…

both of you were so lost in each other that it took a moment to realize that there were male voices just outside the door, “yeah, hold on” one guy says as he opens the door to the bathroom, needing to use it. both you and topper quickly turn your head in that direction to be met with rafe.

shit, you thought… you didn’t actually expect rafe to be the one person to walk in on you. “yo, what the fuck?” rafe says after pausing for a second and immediately getting angry. “rafe—” you say, but he cuts you off with a laugh as he shows kelce outside the door what was happening, but by now topper was already out of you and had his pants back up, and you had jumped off the counter to pull your dress down. “are you fucking for real?” rafe yells with amusement on his face, pointing at you and topper with an angry laugh as kelce says “yo…” in shock.

“rafe bro—” topper tries to speak but rafe doesn’t let him. “nah, are you serious?” rafe amuses angrily, still in disbelief of what he saw. “you come up here to fuck my ex? what the fuck?” rafe pipes up, pointing at himself before fully entering the bathroom, kelce still stood at the doorway. “rafe he’s—” you try to say, but rafe shushes you. “nuh uh, you shut the fuck up, i don’t wanna hear shit from your whore ass” rafe insults, yelling at you which made you flinch a little.

“rafe calm down bro” topper says, attempting to reach down to grab his t-shirt from the floor but rafe stops him and shoves him back. “don’t” you warn your ex with stern eyes, making him laugh. “ohhh, oh i see, you two fuckin’ each other now huh?” rafe jokes, looking over at kelce for backup. “no it’s not like that” you say, topper looking back at you as you briefly stand behind him, your panties still lying on the floor as you were too afraid to bend down and pick them up due to exposure.

“oh, it’s not?” he asks, getting aggressive as he yells in your face, his fists clenching in rage. “bro it was just a spur of the moment…” topper quickly tries defending himself, but rafe turns to look at him, “topper shut the fuck up bro before i beat your ass” he threatens.

“you— you’re just a fucking stupid slut, going for my friends? really?” rafe asks you, making out like this was entirely your fault. “well maybe don’t be such a rude asshole” you shrug, playing it off. now that you think about it, you really don’t care if you upset him or not. he deserves to feel betrayed by his ex and his best friend, he did nothing but bully you.

“really?—”

“yeah, really! you’re a fucking dick and topper here is better than you ever were,” you argue, not caring if you flash yourself as you bend down to snatch your underwear from the floor, shoving them back on. “really?” rafe laughs angrily, “yeah. and bigger, too.” you blurt out, shoving past him to storm out of the bathroom. those last words really ticked him off because you could hear him and topper screaming and yelling at each other as you head down the stairs.

part of you felt bad for leaving topper, but he deserves this, too. all throughout your relationship with rafe, topper was rude to you. he always backed rafe up when you two fought, always insulted you when rafe did, made fun of you like rafe did… tonight you saw a different side of topper, an affectionate and sweet side. maybe it was the wrong place at the wrong time, but who cares? hopefully this’ll ruin their friendship for messing with you.

you rush back to the living room in hopes to find your friends, and luckily you found two of them. “girls… we need to leave” you snicker, trying to hide your laugh. “why?” one yells over the music. “i just fucked topper” you giggle.

“what?!”

“you did what?!”

both friends gasp and widen their eyes. “i fucked topper and rafe walked in” you couldn’t help but laugh in excitement thinking about how much this’ll affect rafe. “oh my god!”

“i know, right?” you laugh as the two of your friends reach over to your third and final friend in the crowd to pull her out. “we’re leaving, let’s go” one says to her, seeing her frown. “why?” she asks, just as you see rafe walking down the stairs, probably trying to find you. “that’s why… come on” you say, pointing at rafe as the four of you quickly move through the crowd and dart for the door, all running out and laughing.

“girl, you’re crazy” one of the girls says to you as you all make it to the end of the driveway and pant for air. “i know… and he’ll kill me if we don’t get the fuck outta’ here” you drunkenly laugh, thinking of the situation as funny more than anything else.

all four of you head down the road and back in the direction of your house where you were prior to the party. “what the hell happened?” your third friend asks, looking at you with a frown. “she fucked topper.” another replies for you. “what? seriously? damn… rafe knows?” she widens her eyes. “rafe saw, he walked in” you giggle, seeing the shocked expression on her face. “holy shit…”

on the walk back home, you tell them all in detail what happened despite you stumbling your words drunkly. all you could think about now was what rafe was doing. was he hurt? did he feel betrayed? you can only hope so.

NOT PROOFREAD. this has been in my drafts for SO long but i only just finished it😭 i hope u guys enjoy!!!! <3 FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED!

english is not my first language so please feel free to point out any spelling/grammar mistakes ◡̈

@cameronluvr

[swxrxgini]

Childhood friends to lovers troupe with Aditya is living in my head rent free, perhaps, you could offer some hcs for it please 🥹

Brain empty, only Aditya

| : Aamras and friends

Receiver.... Author's note: "Dear, Thank you so much for requesting this!! I loved it so much and it's honestly so damn cute!!"

Receiver.... Synopsis: "Aditya and you, friends since young, fall in love. HCs about being childhood friends and falling in love with Aditya Kashyap!!"

Receiver.... Warnings: "nothing really? Fluff, childhood shenanigans? Might not be correct to the movie cause I watched it very long ago, forgive my mistakes!! Geet and Aditya are only friends here! Mentions of Maths. Mentions of suicide, Geet gets with your brother (i made him up)"

◊ Oh my god!! Imagine you and Aditya as friends and sitting in the sun eating raw mangoes?? So cute! You both probably met due to your parents being friends or you both were close in school and you got your parents to be friends as well! Or maybe you were neighbors who went to same school?

◊ You and him grew up so close, slacking off in computer lab as you both watched stupid shit, passing notes in class, trying to help each other memorize the multiplication table up until 30, then memorize square and square roots until 30 and cube and the cube roots until 25. You both got close thanks to torturing Maths.

◊ But that was until the marriage affair of his parents, where he took the deal a bit too hard to his heart. And then his father's death happened after you both grew up, his business going in the dumps.

◊ After the years, he slowly started to become more and more reclusive and depressed, contemplating. One day while after a meeting, you both meet up, but he seemed out of it and you both climbed a train despite the reluctance, meeting a very bubbly girl, Geet Dhillon. You three talked a bit, and you and Geet managed to shake him out of his suicidal thoughts.

◊ In the middle of the night, Aditya gets off, ans you follow him, since you felt weird leaving the boy alone, Geet followed you both asking you both to get on the train, but she herself missed the train...She gets Aditya and you to drive her to the next station, but ends up missing it again...

◊ Geet then demanded to have you both take her home and you both agreed. You grinned as you and her quickly bonded, but Aditya took a bit of time, but it was fine since they became friends. two girlies with a boy tired of the girlies's bullshit. :)

◊ She opened up to you both about her boyfriend whom she wanted to marry, but couldn't because of her parents and the religious differences. While Aditya spoke of how his then girlfriend (whom you were a bit suspicious of) left him to marry someone else, and you hummed nodding how you broke up with your toxic ex boyfriend who was mentally ruining you.

◊ You and Geet were basically besties at that point, with Aditya being both of your guardians probably. You and her tried your best to bring Aditya back to his old fun self, with the power of self-love, friendship and what not.

◊ You, Geet and Aditya became a trio for a while, doing stupid shit together while Aditya simply tried to stop you both from getting in trouble, you three got close. Geet but noticed the chemistry between you two, the longing stare of yours towards him and him staring at you as if you were diamond and gold.

◊ She actually helped Aditya ask you out, asking you if you wanted to go to a restaurant, bu bailed last minute, not only that it's her Aditya goes to for dating advice. You three were closest and it became the friendship of "third wheeling friend becomes baby of the couple in the group", so there's that.

◊ She even tells you both about her plans to run away to be with Anshuman, because she was upset she wasn't gonna be able to marry him.

◊ Her relatives were very happy, you brought her back and had you both stay. And then while they were planning her marriage date, she came to you both, telling you both that she was eloping and was bidding farewell to you two, you both argued with her for a while, before you three were caught mid act by her sister and had to eventually run away..

◊ As she convinced you both to run away with her leaving her family, leaving her family with the idea of Geet being attracted to both boys and girls which was slightly embarrassing for both of you. You both and her had to eventually part ways since she wanted to leave to her boyfriend in Manali, Himachal Pradesh..

◊ You and him let her go her way to her so called boyfriend while you both also became slightly distanced, but stayed close nonetheless. You helped him take breaks, though rarely, you both spent time out in restaurants, mostly spending time at street food vendours or chowpatis.

◊ He started to be less depressed and more the same Aditya you knew before as a child, all the more while you both fell in love, you both missed Geet but didn't get into any type of contact with her afterwards.

◊ He would happily take you shopping whenever you want, whenever you wanted, he was always happy to spoil with his business growing good. He definitely took some lessons from you and Geet aabout sunshine and bright outlook on life which helped him a bit.

◊ Thought a bit reluctant, as you encouraged him, he also bonded with his mother who eloped with another man in the affair or something. It was awkward, but fine, whatever Aditya wanted, you were fine with it.

◊ You and him would often go to shops to drink aamras, mango joosh. Because it's a delicacy and why not? And also childhood snacks, it's so great!!

◊ Around nine months later, Geet's family saw an ad on Adtiya's business launch event and they confronted you both in his office while you were there, demanding you both bring Geet back because she never came home and gave you both two days..

◊ You and Aditya eventually went back to Manali to learn that Geet did come there to meet her boyfriend, but Anshuman rejected her because he didn't want to marry her, you had to be held back a bit before you punched the dude..

◊ You and Aditya trace her back to Shimla and go there to look for Geet, finding her live a reclusive life, working as a teacher in her old school, you were a bit disappointed, but you and Aditya tried to help her receive the sunshine outlook on life yet again.

◊ But Anshuman wanted to start a new, while uncertain of him, you four head back to Bathinda back. Her family was still under the impression she eloped with you and Aditya and it was very weird and awkward for a bit, while Geet tried to explain her side, but was unable to do so. You felt bad and tried to get her to talk to Anshuman tomorrow morning, while Aditya and you laid in bed together, explaining how you both were leaving the next day as you nodded.

◊ As you and Aditya were leaving tomorrow while Geet talked, she didn't want to be with Anshuman longer and ran and followed you both, cause she seemed happier with you two beside her as friends, leaving Anshuman behind heartbroken while Aditya tried to stop you shove a middle finger up his face and kick or punch him for hurting such a sweet girl as Geet.

◊ Overall, very cute relationship but you share your life experiences with Geet as well as she teases you both, visiting with her husband and your brother to your two daughters, telling them about experiences, all while you and Aditya tried not to cringe out of embarrassment at the embarrassing things she told your girls.. <333

© This writing work belongs to me, swxrxgini, Aurelia, Rosilabeth, Cerine, kiara. Reblogging is appreciated, but plagiarizing or copying my works is forbidden, thank you for reading this and if you like this check out my blog!

[kai-anderson-whore]

The day after you stole my heart (Kyle spencer x curvy fem reader)

Summary: Kyle spencer was your closest friend over the last two years and flirty but that changed and broke your heart

Warnings: lost of crying, mentions of toxic relationship with family, mentions of suicide, comparing body's to others, getting high and drunk, underage drinking even for the UK

A/n: so this is based on recent events in my life that left me heartbroken so yeah everything is true except the end of the second flashback everything beyond that point is made up

Word count: 3886

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°

You never thought you were the jealous type but you proven yourself wrong and you hated it, you never felt like this in all the almost 18 years your life but here you are laying in your bed crying your eyes out all because of a stupid Instagram post.

Kyle Spencer was one of your closest friends you both formed a unique bond in the space of two years, complicated sure especially the past few months you were only three months older than him, but now here he was reposting a picture on Instagram of himself and a girl you knew called vicky, she was known to everyone as the girl who gets blackout drunk embarrassing herself at every party.

Kyle befriended her one night at a party vicky already had a boyfriend at the time, Kyle and you were super close then the feeling grew and you had a crush on him, luckily he had a crush on you too, but you didn't want to ruin the friendship you both created.

You would facetime near enough every night even when you were dating your ex at the time only to try and get over kyle but that didn't happen if anything your feelings grew more for the blonde headed boy.

In the summer your dad was away on a business trip for a month or two and luckily you had the keys to his house, Kyle thought it would be a fun idea to watch a movie there so that's what you did.

*flashback*

You unlocked the door to your fathers house Kyle right behind you holding the dvd case with a movie you hadn't seen yet but always wanted to watch, you felt the butterfly's in the pit of your stomach the thought of you and Kyle alone in a house no interruptions made you feel dizzy in the best way possible.

Sure you were really good friends he was one of your best friends and you were to him but lately you had been Flirting back and forth ever since your friend messaged Kyle saying you liked him against your own will but now you were glad because he liked you too but you both agreed not to jump into anything because your friendship meant the world to you both.

So here you were entering the living room setting the dvd player up to watch a movie, Kyle took a look around the place spotting your dad's electric guitar with two strings missing and out of tune, "does your dad play guitar?" Kyle called holding the guitar by the neck taking it into the living room, "uh no actually he got it off our old neighbour when him and my mom were still together he was drunk and yeah he took it but never touched it" you chuckled Kyle knew about why your mom and dad split up and the toxic relationship you had with him hence why he wasn't a huge fan of your father.

"It's a pretty cool guitar I gotta say" he smiled trying to tune it in, "Yeah I loved it as a kid used to try and play it but I would get into trouble" you laughed at the memory of your father scolding you for almost breaking the guitar, "anyway do you want to watch the movie now I think there's some snacks in the kitchen maybe and also I brought these" you smirked fishing into your pocket pulling out two joints.

"You wanna get high?" Kyle asked with a light chuckle, "why not it would be fun plus I'm fun when I'm high" you said Kyle had seen you high multiple times and he would end up on the floor crying with laughter at you, "okay" Kyle chuckled taking the joint from your hand his fingertips touching your hand sending shock waves down your spine.

"Let's watch the movie" you smiled taking the dvd from the sofa and placing it into the dvd player, you lit your joint as the opening credits roll handing your lighter to Kyle who did the same taking a long drag of the smoke before blowing it into the air, you couldn't lie he looked hot with the joint in his hand smoking it.

Your eyes gave Kyle quick glances whenever he wasn't looking you were sitting on one couch Kyle on the other one, you felt the weed hitting your system and you had a stupid grin of your lips, "what?" Kyle asked with the same grin of his face he was clearly high and so were you, "nothing I'm just- I'm just so fucking high" you laughed Kyle ended up with the giggles both not even focused on the movie.

You didn't realise Kyle moved to the couch you were sitting on till you stopped laughing you began to feel nervous he was so close to you yet he wasn't touching you, you craved him so bad but you didn't do anything instead you took the beanie he was wearing off his head and put in on your own, little did you know that taking Kyle's hat off him drove him crazy he thought you looked so adorable in his hat.

"I think it suits me better don't you think" you giggled with red puffy eyes from the weed, "Yeah it does" Kyle smiled taking the hat off your head jokingly, "Hey give it back" you huffed trying to grab the material off him, "it's my hat y/n" he laughed as you tried to take it back off him, but Kyle gave in putting his own beanie back on your head.

You felt those butterfly's again as Kyle's eyes darted from your eyes to your lips, you didn't know what to do when he pressed his lips to yours, his hand held your cheek eventually you responded to the kiss his lips were soft you could taste the weed as he seeked permission for his tongue to dance along with yours.

Your lips parted inviting him in, you wanted more you didn't know how long you were making out for but you didn't want it to stop and neither did he, but it came to an end when you had to pull away for air, you could help but blush like crazy, "that was amazing" Kyle whispered he couldn't believe he mustered up the courage to finally kiss you.

"It was" you smiled bitting your bottom lip something you did when you were nervous, Kyle never moved from your side for the rest of the day his arm around your shoulders pulling you closer, Kyle would kiss you again a few times he wanted to go futher with you but he hadn't done anything like that before whilst you had but he was too shy to make a move.

But the night finally came to an end Kyle had to go back and study so did you, walking down the steps of your father's apartment Kyle took the opportunity to give you one last kiss making you weak at the knees, you didn't want it to end you wished he was yours but your insecurities and doubts were also a huge problem.

You weren't skinny you were chubby, you had the pretty face but you hated your body but Kyle didn't care about that he liked you as a person, your personality was bright, funny, kind and loving despite your heartbreaking past you saw the good side in everything helped others when they needed it Kyle loved that about you.

"I gotta go my buddies here to pick me up" he awkwardly said after he pulled away from the kiss, "Oh yeah I had a great time tonight we should do it again" you smiled as you walked out the building, "we should" Kyle agreed, "well I'll see you later bye y/n"

"Bye kyle"

*flashback over*

You sobbed and sobbed you felt so stupid, he was telling you that him and vicky fell out a few weeks prior because of her boyfriend and now they're together, you didn't blame Kyle she was perfect, pretty face, perfect body, the lot but what you couldn't wrap your head around was why he stopped talking to you, Kyle told you everything but you guessed that maybe she didn't like the friendship you had and was jealous but why.

She didn't know about the kisses and the fact you almost took his virginity the second time you went to your dad's house, you didn't know what to do so you called your best friend who you basically called your cousin Ryan, you waited till he answered the silent tears rolling down your face.

"Hey girl" Ryan's voice beamed down the phone, you couldn't help but sob into the phone "r-ryan can i- I come over please" you hiccuped in-between sobs Ryan's heart broke hearing you so upset it was so unlike you, you hated being upset you always kept your chin up and got on with whatever bad had happened.

"Sure sweetie of course" he replied you thanked him before hanging up and calling a taxi to his place, you packed your bag throwing some sweatpants and t-shirts into the bag and waited on the taxi to arrive you didn't know how you felt, sad, jealous, angry, you were angry at yourself for being so silly to think he actually liked you maybe it was self pitty you didn't know but you wanted it to go away you never cried over a man you didn't love anyone that wasn't your family you didn't want to get too attached to anyone but here you are going to your best friends house because your heart got broken by someone who you weren't even dating to begin with.

You felt like such a child right now, as you entered the cab telling the driver where you were going you plugged in your earphones playing your music, 'Africa by toto' was playing, how kyle loved toto you immediately skipped the track but only to hear your song one that you and Kyle would sing together all the time 'dani california by the red hot chilli peppers' you tried to hold in the tears but you were unable to.

'Was it all a lie?' 'Maybe she's better for him' 'was I just something to take his mind of her?' You head was spinning with the horrible thoughts you didn't realise that you had arrived at your best friends house, you paid the driver thanking him before getting out of the car.

You walked up the pathway to your friends house you didn't bother knocking you were technically Ryan's mums daughter that she never had they were your second family, "is that my gorgeous girl?" You heard Ryan's mum your auntie Mary calling out "Yeah it's me auntie mary" you called back Mary walked out the kitchen and into the hallway spotting you with red puffy eyes she knew you too well and knew you had been crying.

"What the matter?" She asked bringing you in for one of her famous hugs, you just broke down again, your aunt knew you had feelings for Kyle via Ryan's big mouth but she didn't know how much, "it's silly" you brushed it off praying she leaves it at that, "it's not silly now tell me why you are crying?" Mary insisted.

You told Mary everything all she did was console you aswell as Ryan who came into the kitchen five minutes after you had arrived, you felt pathetic crying over a boy it was unlike you, but after a week of crying seeing them post dumb couple things then seeing vickys drunk posts on Instagram making you wonder if Kyle was sane to deal with her when she was drunk.

You decided it was time to get out and forget about everything have a night out with one of your other Friends max, you text him asking if there was a frat party on tonight and luckily there was and it wasn't Kyle's frat house, so you put on your shortest dress you could find a black long sleeve dress that shows your cleavage perfectly, your hair was curled into beachy waved your makeup dark as usual with your black converse.

You looked hot you must admit max sat on your bed as you checked yourself out in the mirror, "you look so good y/n oh my god" he beamed he always loved how you wore what you wanted to not caring about your body shape but in reality you did but tonight you were getting wasted so you don't care at all.

You made it to the party crowds of body's everywhere, you began feeling uncomfortable so you went and did a few shots with max to gain the strength to converse with the other people you barely know until you heard "MAX Y/N" you didn't know who had called you till you turned around and saw her vicky.

She was staggering around the place screaming and shouting you can smell the pure vodka and puke in her breath, "omg y/n I haven't seen you in ages do you know I go out with Kyle Spencer now how weird is that" she slurred shoving her body weight on you for a hug you wanted to scream but you decided to be nice "Yeah I know that is weird" you said with a fake smile Kyle hadn't even spoken to you in a while so you weren't hurt about them anymore you were pissed off at Kyle he hadn't spoken to you in a while and for what.

Vicky left to god knows where leaving you and max alone you clenched the plastic shot cup in your hand crushing it, "Wow you alright" max asked you shook your head angrily "no max I'm not okay" you took some vodka and poured some more shots for yourself you needed something to make this night easier.

About half an hour later you were tipsy dancing around not giving a shit about anything anymore, "y/n" you rolled your eyes seeing vicky infront of you even more drunk that before you thought she would need her stomach pumped in the next hour, "vicky" you mumbled "Kyle told me you kissed a few times and that he said he loved you on your birthday but I said I know y/n and I don't blame him cause your hot like your so pretty" she slurred you were confused on why she was telling you this more importantly why was he telling her that "Oh well thanks vicky but kyle and I are friends well I don't know about that anymore" you sighed you cup of alcohol in hand.

Vicky left you to your own thoughts you needed air so you went outside to get some 'why did he tell her about my birthday?" You thought the memory of that day came flooding back.

*flashback*

You were finally 17 you invited some of your friends over to your house for some drinks, you were still doing your makeup when your friends arrived Kyle came with 3 cds of an artist you both loved you thanked him since he knew how much you wanted them.

Soon enough you were drunk your grandfather came over giving you a beautiful necklace your mom was wasted constantly on the phone to your father till she left to go to his place, no one knew where she went especially your grandad who was angry she left you on your birthday so you were left to calm your grandad down, keep the guests entertained and also argue with your dad to get your mom home.

It was all to much for you to deal with your sat outside of your house with a cigarette still arguing on the phone with you did you didn't notice Kyle was behind you.

"I don't give a fuck dad it's my birthday stop being a selfish fuck and get her to come home she's only at yours because you have booze once it's done she's away she doesn't want you anymore" you shouted down your phone your dad was screaming at you calling you selfish for not letting your mom go out.

"If it was a different time then yeah she can do what she wants but it's my fucking birthday and with all the shit I've been through because of you I think I deserve a good night but no you had to wait till my mom was wasted and ask her to come down she won't fuck you dad your pathetic" you yelled louder Kyle was taken aback he never seen you so angry at anyone but he liked how you told your dad straight.

"You know what dad I don't care fuck you and fuck her as well I'm sick of the both of you you don't care about me you didn't even know it was my birthday" you whispered the last part before hanging up dropping your phone on the ground your arms hugging your knees crying to yourself.

You felt something beside you lifting your head up to meet Kyle's eyes, full of concern and sorrow seeing you so upset on your birthday broke his heart and the fact that nobody cared shattered him, "you okay" he asked you shook your head breaking down in his arms.

"No Kyle I'm not no one cares its my birthday the one day I want to be happy and I can't because my mom and dad are careless and selfish, I just wish I wasn't here anymore I really do kyle" you cried in his arms Kyle had a tears coming out his eyes he hated seeing you like this.

"No body would care if I died and I don't blame them I'm nothing all my life I've been called fat and useless I just can't deal with this anymore I want to stop hurting" you mumbled your tears wetting Kyle's t-shirt but he didn't care.

"Hey y/n look at me" he pulled you away from his grasp your eyes meeting his tear soaked one's, "Don't you ever say that you hear me because I need you, you not fat or useless your perfect you hear me and your dad he's a prick your mom's going through a tough time but I care about you so much y/n you don't even know it I love you" Kyle said it you didn't know what to say.

Before you could say anything else Kyle kissed you again, softly and lovingly like it was the last second on earth he held you like you would break into a million pieces, you pulled away slightly smiling "I love you kyle"

*flashback over*

You sat on the steps outside the frat party sobbing why would he tell her that what else did he tell her about you, you didn't know what to do anymore, you didn't think there was anything to do, you did love Kyle and still do if only you weren't so afraid of ruining the friendship because it's fucked now either way.

You decided to walk to Ryan's house ditching the party, you called Ryan again waiting on his answer, "y/n it's late what's wrong?" Ryan's voice groggy from probably being woken up, "I need your help I seen Kyle's girlfriend" you said making your way over, "did she say anything" ryan asked he already knew you were most likely to go to his like you always do, "Yeah that Kyle said to her that we kissed and that he told me he loved me and I don't know what to do anymore why would he say that" you asked.

"Maybe because he does love you and your too fucking dumb to get into a relationship with him" Ryan said you shook your head, "no Ryan that's not it she's far more prettier than me plus that was months ago almost a year ago" you sighed, "where are you right now" he asked "a few blocks away from Oh fuck his frat house" you groaned "well get some fucking answers from him" Ryan said before hanging up.

Shit shit shit what were you going to do, there was a store infront of you you had your fake Id so you bought some booze to drink walking to Ryan's, finally you were drunk, and some reason at Kyle's place.

You knew he would be the only one home since you saw everyone in the frat house in that party, you knocked on the door the vodka in hand you tried to keep your body up but your were staggering.

Eventually the door opened revealing Kyle in his pyjamas, "y/n? What are you doing here" he asked confused on why your here "Oh so I'm like a stranger now to you Kyle" you slurred Kyle pulled you into the house for your own safety, "where were you" he asked getting you some water but you drank the vodka Instead.

"I was at the same frat party as vicky" you slurred, "and she told me that your her boyfriend now I heard it from her not you because you haven't spoken to me in weeks Kyle what the fuck" you mumbled Kyle felt guilty for not talking to you.

"I'm sorry y/n I've been meaning to tell you it's just I forgot" he tried to excuse you shook your head in disagreement "you were quick enough to tell her about the times we kissed and that you told me you loved me on my birthday" you sniggered.

"She told you that?" He asked you nodded "how else would she know Kyle what the fuck vicky I feel so so fucking stupid opening my heart to you I feel stupid for loving you " you began to cry again Kyle wrapped his arms around you as you crying into his chest unable to do anything else.

Kyle felt so guilty he loved you how could he not but vicky was there and he needed to get over you, "I wish we weren't friends anymore or we can ruin the friendship if we are great friends it wouldn't be ruined" you mumbled Kyle's hand held your jaw lifting your head up for you to look at him.

"I do love you y/n" he stated pulling you closer till your lips were moulded together again it felt euphoric but hebwas taken, "Kyle no your with vicky i- I need to go" you said making your way to the door, "just please stay" Kyle begged you knew you were nowhere near fit to be put alone so you had to stay with Kyle.

He took you to his room gave you a pair of his pyjamas, "kyle" you whispered you back to him in the bed, "what?" He whispered back "if you really mean what you said on my birthday you need to do something about it, it's your shot to call" you said before falling asleep.

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios Adventures

"Look, Adam, we need to talk about the other night. I've had some time to think about it, and I don't think that we're good for each other anymore. Everyone I talk to thinks that we're toxic together."

"Wait, what?"

Adam Darktide stared in shock at his apparently ex-boyfriend. Theo had gone home for the weekend and ignored all of Adam's messages, leaving Adam with an idea of how angry Theo was at him. But breaking up with him?

"It was just a stupid kiss," Adam insisted. "You kissed my brother. I think that's worse than kissing a friend."

"See, this is why people think we're toxic," Theo snapped, making Adam flinch. "I can't just compare two actions and decide which is worse for the rest of my life. It doesn't matter if kissing your brother is worse than you kissing a friend, they're both bad! I don't want to have to justify you cheating on me because I did something you think is worse. You cheated on me, Adam! On purpose and with someone I know you're attracted to. You want let me even touch your hand, but you'll kiss someone else in front of me? I'm tired of this."

"This is just a mistake," Adam pleaded, suddenly realizing how serious this conversation was. "Look, I'll try to be more open about physical contact, and I'll never speak to Josh again if you want. We're supposed to be a team, remember?"

Theo scoffed at the idea.

"We're not a team though, Adam. Teammates work together through problems, while you just keep pulling away from me, no matter what I do. I'm done with this. We're over."

Theo made a stern face, one that he'd been practicing all weekend. Rien thought it was acceptable, though it could use some work.

"But we're tied together," Adam tried. "Lukas bound our powers together. We need each other."

Theo rolled his eyes.

"Our powers are tied together," he replied angrily. "You ground my abilities and I give you access to some of my power as thanks. We can do that for years and be an ocean apart from each other if we have to. I don't need to talk to you for the magic to work."

"Theo, please, let me make it up to you," Adam pleaded. "I can't lose you. We're meant to be together, I know we are."

"Adam, my parents cheated on each other, my Aunt Ulyssa cheated on her wife, and I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure my Aunt Lucy has cheated on her various partners too. There are too many cheaters in my life, and I'm not going to just stay and put up with someone who cheats on me. I'm better than that and I'm better than you. We're done."

Theo turned away from Adam, unable to witness the tears in Adam's eyes or his heartbroken expression. He needed to stand firm in this decision, or he'd just watch the same thing happen over and over. Adam could kiss other guys and whatever else he and Josh got up to, but he wouldn't be doing it while dating Theo.

Once Theo had left, Adam broke down crying. The last thing he needed was for Theo to see how upset he was. He wasn't sure which would hurt less: Theo's pity or his scorn.

It was a dark time for the Darktide twins. Remy had been dumped by Malika, and now Adam had been dumped by Theo, all because of a stupid dance. At least Remy seemed to be spending more time with Victoriana and was doing a terrible job of hiding her crush on the crown princess. Adam was just alone. Josh had been weird since the kiss and Despina had clearly taken Theo's side in the breakup. Every time he walked past his cousin, Despina looked like she was about to spit on him just for existing. Adam hadn't always been close to his cousin, but he thought that Despina would back him of his life imploded. Apparently, she was Team Theo.

"Thanks for the invite, Theo. I'm sad that you've broken up with Adam, but damn does your dad make a good cheesecake. He really made you a cake for breaking up with Adam?"

Bronwen wasn't always a fan of human food, but Roman's cooking was always appealing. Plasma was growing more important to her now that she was maturing, but you couldn't do much to spice it up when it got boring.

"He said it wasn't a celebration of our breaking up, but as a consolation for after. Like how people eat a tub of ice cream while watching sappy movies after a breakup."

Bronwen laughed at the thought of Theo's father not celebrating the removal of Adam from his son's life.

"You do know that that's a celebration cake, right?" she replied. "Your dad's probably drinking champagne at the moment. He hates anyone who gets involved with you or even flirts with you. The man's insane."

"Adam always said that my dad didn't know what he was talking about," Theo sobbed. His cheesecake sat untouched while his actions caught up with him. He was mad at Adam, and he was right to break up with a cheater who was afraid of being anywhere near him, but he had really just ended his first relationship. It was supposed to be his forever relationship and now that was gone. He wouldn't be marrying Adam in college, and he wouldn't be picking out baby names when they had their first kid. They were never going to buy a house together or travel the world like they'd planned. Whatever he had with Adam was gone. His well planned life was dead now.

"Hey, things will be okay," Bronwen promised. She smiled, thinking about all the times she'd fantasized about this day, when Theo and Adam broke up and Theo was lonely. Today, now that it had actually happened, Bronwen wasn't interested. Things with Davis had been going pretty well since the dance, and she was excited to get to know him better. They were technically dating but were taking things slow. Davis didn't want to rush into things until she for sure could handle his parents. Being the son of Life and Death was a lot to handle, and Davis didn't blame her if she couldn't deal with them. So far, she'd only met his parents once and that had gone okay. Death had tried to impress her with homemade blood pie that had appealed to neither her human or vampire tastes, while Life had largely ignored her in favour of mumbling to themselves and flipping through the pages of a heavy, leatherbound book. So overall, Bronwen counted that as a success.

"I'm sure you're right," Theo sighed. "Everyone keeps saying that it'll be okay, but none of this feels like it's okay. It feels empty and sad and hopeless. I know that he's upset too, and all I want to do is comfort him. Is that stupid?"

Bronwen shook her head slowly.

"Of course, it's not stupid," she assured her friend. "You haven't even told anyone but me about the break up. It's all still new."

"Well, actually, Despina was the first to know," Theo corrected her. "She all but forced me to break up with him and probably cast a hex or two just for fun."

"She sounds like a good friend to pick you over her cousin," Bronwen noted. "Is she interested in you?"

Theo paused, remembering all the times he'd picked up on a potential interest from Bronwen. Adam had said that it was nothing, but Adam wasn't around anymore to give him advice.

"I don't think Despina is interested in me," he offered. "She's got the future king of Strangetown following her around, so I doubt that she'd be interested in her cousin's ex. She's not really my type anyway."

"And your type is?"

Theo eyed his friend cautiously

"Well, not related to my ex, at least. I know Edana would probably murder me for even looking at Despina, despite how much of a bitch she is to her niece and nephew. They're all she has left of her demented brother, and she's not going to let me anywhere near them, even if I wanted to. Despina's nice, but only Adam was worth dealing with his mother to date. No offense, I know she's your stepmom."

"Yeah, that's fair. Elowen and Remy have millions of stories about Edana. She still doesn't know what to do with a half-vampire stepdaughter, but she tries her best, so I'm grateful for that. She's still unhinged about her brother though. My dad’s had to talk to her a million times about how creepy she is about him. She can't let go of the guilt of not saving him. It's sad, really, but I could picture feeling the same way if Elowen died in some cult I couldn't pull her from. We've been best friends since the day I was born. It's hard to break that bond."

Theo tried to think of a sibling that he would ruin the lives of innocent people with his grief over but came up empty. He'd be sad if any of his siblings died, especially Rien, who he probably knew the best, but Edana's grief consumed her like a poison. Theo knew that life had to be lived even with a broken heart, which was precisely the situation he was in now with Adam.

Speaking of Adam, Theo could hear the sound of a piano drifting from the music room. It had to be Adam playing it, as very few other students did, and the song being played was Adam's favourite to play. It was an old Tredony lullaby about the Pirate Queen, and it had been burned into Theo's mind by how often Adam played it. There was nothing more that Theo wanted than to run to Adam and wrap his arms around him until the sorrowful music stopped, but that couldn't happen. That wouldn't happen ever again, and Theo's heart broke again after realizing that.

"It's so hard not to just go comfort him," Theo said, trying to focus on the cake before him and not on Adam. "Do you think it gets easier?"

Bronwen shrugged.

"I haven't really dated someone before, and my dad had been married to Edana for most of my life, so I'm not sure. I guess so? Remy seems to be bouncing back from her breakup, so maybe you'll be the same. Maybe you just need to date someone new, and things with Adam will hurt less."

Theo nodded thoughtfully.

"You may have a point. I have a lot to bring to a relationship, and I don't need to worry about the feelings of a cheater, no matter how Adam is hurting. He did this to himself."

[crepezinhos]

A Fucked Up Role-play

POV: After 5 years with no sort of contact with Cyno, your ex-boyfriend, who abandoned you and most of his relationships to become the King of the deserts of Sumeru, you suddenly received a letter from one of his guards requiring your presence at his palace, which you initially refused to comply with, but guards were still sent to bring you to the castle… and you knew it probably had something to do with the disappearance of your husband.

⚠️ WARNINGS:

— This is a NSFW piece

— Reader is FEMALE and uses SHE/HER pronouns

— Corrupted + Public + Dub-con-(ish?) sex

— Overstimulation, creampie and slight bruising

— Mentions of abusive relationships (in all ways), toxic views towards women / wives and narcissistic people.

— A lot of bad words

— “Y/HS” means ‘Your husband’s last name’, so just invent one that isn’t your own!

“Here’s the woman, my lord.” The guard that was leading you to the room of the throne said to the man sitting on it, some inches above you.

But Cyno didn’t answer. Instead, he kept staring at you deeply, analyzing every single bit of you that maybe changed or not over these past five years without any kind of close contact with you. His body was sitting lazy, legs spread, left foot tapping the floor and his arm supported in the throne’s arm, using the hand to hold his face in place. The room was entirely silent to the guard, but the silence was awkwardly loud between the you and him, making the guards feel uncomfortable with Cyno’s lack of response. But he was simply distracted by his desperation. It was so enormous you could feel it in your skin like it was trying to burn and eat you alive, even if it was trying to hide itself behind his stoic pose and cold, piercing gaze. You couldn’t deny it genuinely made you joyful to see him so desperate for you, and it surprised you because you’ve never felt pleasure in another person’s blues or pain. But maybe it was just the effects of what he had done to you.

You could also see annoyance also slowly growing in his heart every time he took a peek at that big eyepatch you were wearing. He perfectly remembers the scene of you telling him how you apparently got that some days ago.

.

“Good afternoon, my King. Enjoying the party?” You asked to him inside the stall you were cooking in, smirking at his usual, serious face staring at your eyes deeply, specifically at that same big, black eyepatch.

“Yes.” He answered, taking a quick look at the menu hanged above your heads. “I’ll have a Tahchin. The way I like it, please.” He made his order and you obediently nodded while grabbing a sticky note to write it down.

“I’m afraid I do not know how you like your Tahchin cooked, my lord.” You looked up to him again with a slightly bigger smirk, knowing that you were teasing with him.

He looked at you confused. What do you mean you didn’t know how you liked his favorite dish cooked? You did it for him almost every day of the week!

…

… Oh, yeah.

“Oh, hum…” He avoided eye contact, although he really wanted to keep looking at that eyepatch you were wearing and decipher it. “Just… add more ferment in the meat and use golden rice, please.” He tried his best to describe it with his very little knowledge of culinary while trying to decipher whether you were just teasing him or really being serious about not knowing how he liked it cooked anymore.

“Ok!” You smiled at him, turning around to make his Tahchin, in hopes it maybe would avoid him from getting curious about your eyepatch.

Silence took over your stall quickly, but thankfully the whole event happening around you made it less awkward. But don’t you think that the silence stopped Cyno from staring at you in pure curiosity. It made you a little nervous while cooking the dish, but thankfully you had already prepared its base, so all you needed to do was to let it cook it for a few minutes while avoiding making any more contact with Cyno.

“Y/N…” Cyno initiated, breaking his stupid roleplaying for some reason, which made your hopes die immediately. And unfortunately, you didn’t have any other option but to turn back to him. “What happened to your left eye?” He asked in a more firm fone.

“My left eye?” You tried your best to avoid it, but he nodded precisely. “Well…” You stopped for a few seconds, rethinking if maybe the lie you had created for it would be enough, but you couldn’t you keep quiet for long enough if you wanted him to believe your lie. “I was cutting peppers and I forgot to wash my hand before I scratched my eye. In fact, I could hurt my other eye too right now if I mess up here, haha!” You tried laughing it off, but Cyno didn’t reciprocate.

“Peppers?” He asked in a controversial tone which made you swallow some saliva in anxiety and really want to avoid his piercing gaze, but that would immediately show him that you were lying.

“Yeah..! Also, how do you know my name?” You answered and asked while putting his food in the plate, but not letting him have time to answer. You just wanted to trigger him the most you could in a way that made it look natural. “Here’s your food, my lord.” You served him, moving on to the next client desperately as Cyno simply accepted it and moved forward.

.

Scratching your eyes with pepper in your hands was a good lie for common people, but he wasn’t common in any way. Accidents like that could always happen indeed, but Cyno knew you like he lived in your shoes every day. God, you’re close to being a professional cook in his perspective. You’d never touch anything before washing your hands in the kitchen. Every time he’d assist you in the kitchen, you’d always keep warning him to wash his hands before he touched anything… So why would you suddenly fail… and so badly too..? To you, it felt like he couldn’t wait to debunk your little lie and punish you for it.

“Thank you.” He finally answered, rearranging his posture in the throne to a more straight one, his gaze still stoned at you. “Bring him here too.” He ordered out of nowhere, looking away from you for a quick moment just to make sure the guards understood his order precisely, although he didn’t specify who to bring and from where.

“Yes, sir.” The guards said while letting your arms go, bowing towards Cyno before beginning turning around and stepping out of the room.

They were walking slowly for the sake of being respectful and polite to Cyno, which made those seconds sharing eye contact with him extra tense to the both of you.

After some slow seconds, the heavy, high golden doors of the palace made cranky noises while opening and closing, and when a loud bang finally echoed in the room very loudly and no sort of light was shining in the ground from behind you, you inflated your chest with air and prepared yourself to have a chat with the man above you.

“Why didn’t you come in time? I thought I was very clear in my letter, wasn’t I?” He talked to you, acting like you were some sort of criminal in interrogation.

“Yeah, you were.” You were short and cold to him.

“So why didn’t you come?” He asked again.

“I didn’t want to.” You shrugged your shoulders while answering him.

“Why?”

“You know why the fuck I didn’t come. You can cut out that stupid role-play of yours already.” You scoffed at him. “Now, what is it?” You asked, not afraid at all of how your rebel attitude could trigger him into getting angry at you.

But Cyno simply sighed and stood up from his seat and begun stepping towards you, easily ignoring your question since you were cuffed.

“What do you want?!” You asked, a little more scared this time, since you were already pretty sure of what Cyno wanted, even trying to step away from him a few times, but you were in a horrible position to defend yourself.

And he didn’t answer again, scaring you more than you were already. But before you could protest about him stepping too close, his hand immediately launched up and gripped right on the both sides of your jawline, lifting it up for his benefit and also making you incapable of speaking full sentences with accurate pronunciation.

“E-Ey..!” You tried protesting, trying to get that hand away from you, but when Cyno was determined to solve a case, he’d do so no matter what. And the fact that you were cuffed made his strength feel even worse to you since he had all advantage.

He was directly looking at the eyepatch, which made you panic in realization. He was going to see what was under it. But you didn’t want him or anyone to see it, especially since you’ve been working so hard to keep anyone’s curiosity away from the truth behind it. You really tried stepping away him back this time, but before you could mouth your protest, he slid a finger under the eyepatch’s chord and pulled it raw enough to rip it apart in a blink, revealing the truth to his crimson eyes.

“O-Ow!” Your jaw ached terribly as you felt his grip in your jaw tighten, fueled with pure anger.

Anger triggered by the horrific view of a huge black eye swelling and covering the beautiful skin you had around it.

“Who did this to you?” You’ve never heard Cyno speak in such a serious tone with you before, which made you close your eyes shut in fear of any further threat from him.

You shook your head while biting your inferior lip.

“It was him, wasn’t it?” No matter how frightened you were, Cyno still spoke to you stoically in that same tone, just like you used to see him doing to the criminals he hunted down when he was still only General Mahamatra.

You tried running away again, but not a single muscle of you could move under his grip. Why can’t you just accept you wouldn’t get away from his hands? Or from telling him the truth behind your injury?

“You know I’m used to this kind of behavior, Y/N. I could hold you like this all day. Surrender and tell me who did this to you. I know this isn’t ‘peppers’.” He ordered, but seeing how it had awfully failed, he leaned close to your ear. “I’m giving you a chance to defend yourself personally, with your own integrity and dignity.” He whispered, causing your head to flinch in the other direction of his voice, repulsing every bit of that aggressive version of him that was invading your personal space and making you look pathetically weak.

You shook your head again, feeling the memory behind that wound beginning to turn you into a scared, trembling, vulnerable woman again.

“Talk to me, Y/N.” He begged with a more gentle whisper, a little surprised at how scared you were.

“No!” You screamed, remembering how your own husband had punched you in the face like you were living it again, but with Cyno. “No, no, no, no!” You repeated the word multiple times while shaking your head side to side.

But unlike what you expected from Cyno acting like General Mahamatra, he hugged you. Both the back of your head and chest were firmly pulled and held by his fingers against his chest, really trying to comfort you. You even tried pushing him back with your head and shoulders, but after some seconds failing awfully, you realized he wasn’t going to harm you, and your need of being hugged by someone special, that was shoved and locked deep down in a corner of your heart, took you over and you broke down.

Just for how long you haven’t hugged Cyno?

You remembered how he used to hug you every single day of your lives. When you woke up, when he went to work, when he came back home, when you two would sleep. But the best ones were definitely the ones when you really needed one.

Like right now or when you two… broke up.

Five years ago.

.

“I’m really gonna miss you, Y/N…” He whispered in your ear as he patted your head and hugged you tight.

“Oh, Cyno… do we really need to do this..? I don’t want you to go..!” You whimpered once his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m so sorry… but I really can’t bring you with me…” He shoved his own head in your shoulder, causing you both to tear even more.

“I’ll send you letters… every single day…” You promised him, not willing to let go of his clothes at all.

“I’ll write back… for all of them…” He promised to you back.

.

Those memories, no matter how emotional and comfortable they made you feel, always dragged you to feel anger in the end.

If there was something Cyno did not do was keeping his promise. He did send you letters and responded to yours initially, but that lasted a single month before Cyno decided to simply act like he never had a life in Sumeru City before. He cut contact with you and anyone he used to know and didn’t warn anyone about his ghosting, so everyone was left waiting for him, including you, who begun peeking at your mailbox every two hours for a week to see if you got any letters from him, until you realized something was wrong and decided to go after him.

You tried going to his newest castle and making a request to see him, but you were always either rejected or ignored. You tried sneaking in events in the city and the desert and tried to talk to him personally, but he’d always outrun you or pretend he didn’t listen to you, and then put himself in the middle of crowds so you’d lose him.

And when you were finally able to reach him and touch his shoulder…

“C-Cyno!” You screamed to him while being unintentionally pushed around by other people around and grabbing Cyno by his shoulder, causing him to finally give up in running away and look back at you.

You loved him so much you refused to refer to him as ‘King’, even if it was in front of other people, making yourself vulnerable to public criticism.

Still, when Cyno turned his face to you, he wasn’t expressing a single emotion behind those beautiful eyes of his.

“H-Hey!” You begun enthusiastically. “Why haven’t you been responding to my letters..? I’ve been worried sick about you! Is everything okay, my love..?” You ignored his stoicism, whispering as low you could to make sure no one heard your little secret out of respect for Cyno’s new persona.

“You shouldn’t be referring to me as anything else rather than ‘king’ or ‘lord’, peasant.” He insulted you, which caused you to get really confused and a little shocked. You’d never think he’d insult you like that… but maybe he did it because you two were in public, right..?

“Uh… I’ll be in the back of my yard. You can show up after the festival!” You whispered to him again, trying to get closer to his ear so only he could hear you, but the complete contrary opposite happened to you.

Cyno pushed you. And he pushed you hard enough to make you fall in the ground in front of all those people surrounding him.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve seen you trying to stalk and bother me with your schizophrenia, Y/N woman. This will be the only time I’ll ever warn you.” Everyone in the crowd around him giggled at you during that pause, causing you to get even more confused. “Don’t ever touch or talk to me without my permission again, you stalking maniac. I have no idea who you are and you definitely do not have the rights to refer to me with my real name.” Everyone’s smirks grew in size, their laughs too. “Leave!” He screamed more seriosuly, causing you to feel shivers everywhere for a quick moment before you jumped up and walked away from him, trying to hide your face from everyone’s eyes.

Was that really your Cyno? Your General Mahamatra?

You tried ignoring it, shaking your head while walking back home since you didn’t have any interest in the festival anyway. You still hanged around your yard for some good hours, waiting for him to show up and talk to you. Of course you’d scold him back to his place for what he did to you and make him apologize, but you still wanted to know why wasn’t he responding to any of your letters. But the way he simply didn’t show up that night finally made you wake up to reality.

Cyno had made his choice.

.

During that moment of distraction, you decided to bow your body low enough to sneak away from his hug. You succeeded, so you immediately stepped away until you were safely distant from him, positioning yourself in the most prepared way you could in case he chased you back.

But Cyno didn’t really move, just weakly sticking out his hands to reach you again. Instead, he opened his mouth to try using his voice with you, but you shut him off before he could do it.

“Thank you, my king, but I don’t want your help! You made your choice that day, so fucking act like it and treat me like the fucking schizophrenic, stalking maniac I am, you fucking pussy!” You scoffed at Cyno, trying to trigger him again, who stared back at you a little hurt.

You sighed and turned backwards when you realized he wasn’t going to answer you. You hated how terribly proud Cyno had become with this whole thing about ascending into royalty. You hated how the Archon handpicked him for the duty after fighting with a contestant named Sethos for the title of King. You really missed ‘General Mahamatra’ and it pained you how unfairly he had vanished because ‘King of the Deserts’, to a point it made you feel disgusted just by remembering it.

You started walking towards the door, not caring about the fact that you were cuffed. You would happily use your weight to open the doors if it meant he wouldn’t help you or touch you again. But while you stormed off the room, a shaft of light begun appearing on the middle of the both golden doors along with a weird, cranky noise, forcing you to stop and close half of your eyes to not get blind with it.

They were opening again.

You could see it was guards coming in because of the noises of the recognizable noises of the golden armor they all wore. You thought they were simply going to drag you back to Cyno with their force, but your expectations weren’t met at all.

“Y/N?” The man they were carrying between them looked at you with widened eyes, and your whole body froze in its place.

Your face immediately went white when you recognized the face of the voice’s owner, like your heat had genuinely skipped some beats.

“What are you doing here..?” Your husband’s voice sounded more angry this time, as expected, and the more time passed with you in silence, the angrier he got. “What did you do..?!” His temper was easy to trigger, but you were acting cowardly, so you were unable to do anything to possibly calm him down, preferring to accept the fact that he’d believe he was between those guards’ arms because of you. “DID YOU TELL HIM ANYTHING, YOU FUCKING PARASITE?!” He managed to jump away from the guards’ grip and tried launching towards you, even if he wouldn’t be able to hurt you because of his cuffs, causing you to immediately curl all your body in a protective position and shrug your shoulders in your head’s level for better safety.

You couldn’t see anything anymore, only hearing some uncanny noises of him being held back and thrown to the ground while cursing you, and firm orders from Cyno to his guards coming from behind you.

You hated how used your body had gotten to curling itself up like that whenever he threatened to beat you up. It was pathetic, and it completely shattered the confidence you’ve been building up.

Tears were beginning to show up in your eyes. You were confused, defeated and scared. Nothing around you made any logical sense yet, so it just seemed like both men, whom you disliked the most, were surrounding you to torture your poor mental stability.

But before you could shatter more than a single tear, you felt warm hands hug from behind, one by your waist, the other one by your chest, pulling you up into a healthier angle for your back.

“Hold him.” You heard Cyno’s serious tone from right above you, which made you look up, feeling more safe compared to some seconds ago. Cyno was the one embracing you again, and he didn’t ignore your pathetic gaze to him. “It’s ok, my love.” He whispered while looking at you with gentle eyes, suddenly moving his hands in your waist down to your cuffs.

Click

Your hands could finally move again. The first thing you did with your achieved freedom was hugging your own arms, wanting to feel more safe with yourself and resistant to the fear your husband inflicted in you while still tearing up. Cyno put his hands in your shoulders, which made you quiver in repulse, but there was not much you could about it, you were too mentally weak and unstable now to fight anything.

“See..? It’s ok, Y/N. You’re okay.” He whispered, noticeably with a grin in his face. Although you couldn’t see it, you were really sure of it.

“Hello?! I’m still here and we still have a lot to discuss, Y/N Y/HS!” He stared at you with widened eyes that seemed to be seeking for cold-blooded murder, causing your body to shrink like a little mouse’s.

“You better keep your mouth shut.” Cyno ordered while letting you go to walk closer to the man, completely switching his tone. “Do you think you have any rights to speak bullshit like that and order people around right now? You’re in my castle, under my rules, so you better shut up and have some respect for your wife before things get ugly precociously.” Cyno unexpectedly kicked him in the face. A big shaft of blood instantly flew to the floor in your right along with an uncanny noise that seemed to be of a bone right after the kick.

You flinched in fear. You knew Cyno had to deal with criminals with aggression sometimes, but you never thought he could and would ever deal with one so aggressively like that. Perhaps he was taking the problem personally?

Before your husband’s body could fall in the ground where his blood was, Cyno yanked him by the hair back to his place, pulling it in a way that forced him to look up and stare at his crimson eyes. You could now see how Cyno had perfectly kicked him in the nose, and how it was already broken, which explained that uncanny ‘bone noise’ you heard. But it was even more disturbing to your peaceful soul to see his nostrils leaking little rivers of blood every second, all dripping in the grounds.

“I don’t want to waste my time smelling the same oxygen as you, so I’ll just ask you once.” Cyno kneeled down just to make a very threatening and pressuring eye contact with the man, just like he did with you. “Did you do that to Y/N?” Cyno asked to him as he pointed to your face from behind with his thumb.

Your husband coughed in his own blood before replying to Cyno.

“What the fuck, dude?! You know that I can sue you for thousands of Mora right now, right?! Especially if you are wrong!” Your husband challenged Cyno back instead of answering his question.

“Answer me before I twist that nose of yours and break your fingers one by one next.” Cyno was quick in putting the man back to his place, where he was a submissive pawn who responded to his questions accurately.

That’s why he cowardly shook his head side to side, also closing his eyes firmly in pure cowardice, lying right in front of Cyno fearlessly.

“Y/N.” He turned to you with a more gentle and soft tone, in worry of your mental stability. “Did he do that to you? Or was it really just peppers?” That question alone made your mind stop thinking about everything it was thinking before, but when you realized your husband was taking the opportunity of Cyno’s distraction to stare at you with one of the gut-wrenching stares ever, like he was screaming silently for you to not tell him the truth, time around seemed to you freeze entirely.

Even if Cyno was also looking at you, begging for you to tell the truth way more comfortably than your husband, you couldn’t help but begin hyperventilating in anxiety while trying to rationalize about what would be better for you right now.

You knew that your husband was absolutely defeated at the moment, but he and his abuse haunted you so badly you couldn’t help but fear that he’d free himself from those cuffs and do it again. It was horrible. The way he’d confront you for any little thing you did slightly wrong, beat you up until he was satisfied, despite if you were truthful or not, or insult you until you were in the edge of suicide, and then leave you to either sleep in the sofa or outside the home, were moments that scarred you to a point that your mind went back to an instinctual state just by the fear of it happening again. That black eye of yours was a perfect example of something that didn’t have a good reason to happen, not that it could have one in the first place. All you had done was breaking a wine bottle. Just remembering when and how the accident happened, and how you immediately knew you were doomed, made your stomach twist in discomfort. And now that you could be possibly giving him a huge problem to solve… you would most likely die in a very bloody way if his cuffs were released.

But Cyno…

Cyno was like your guardian angel. How could you forget just how protective Cyno used to be when you two were still a couple? Was that why he had cuffs in him and two guards holding him? Just to make sure the man wouldn’t even think about getting close to you and hurting you again? It made your eyes shine in realization. Was Cyno giving you a chance to speak the words you feared the most? The words that you’ve been wanting to scream to him, your friends, or literally anyone, for over four years now? Your husband has always made sure that you were trapped under many threats, inflicting death, if he ever found out that little secret of your marriage escaped the gates of your home. But even if you said ‘no’, it was still very obvious to Cyno that it was a ‘yes’, right? The secret has actually already escaped its cage… and you were fine. You weren’t being brutally spanked nor were you seeing the gates of heaven… it was pointless to say ‘no’.

You shed a tear. The relief of knowing that you were finally going to get rid of that problem was so good it made your heart ache, and that made you want to let out even more tears. You tried wiping them, but they were stronger than your hands, wetting your cheeks pathetically in a matter seconds.

In the end of the day, you were still an emotionally weak woman that was still in love with a man who had deeply betrayed your trust and hurt the loving person you used to be, weren’t you? You couldn’t help it. The ‘King of the Deserts’ was still the same man as General Mahamatra, no matter how much you tried to deny it, and you were once that man’s girlfriend. For an era of your life, you were the only person to know Cyno’s romantic side, his clingy side and even his kinky side. That’s why he wasn’t aggressive to you and also why you didn’t fear Cyno getting too close to you or gripping you strong enough to trap your body in a place. You knew it wasn’t the same as when your husband did it, Cyno would never hurt you like that.

You looked down.

Now that you weren’t meeting husband’s horrifying gaze anymore, that guilt in your heart of telling the truth disappeared immediately. Had your husband really become that irrelevant to you? It made you want to smile.

“Y-… yes—”

“YOU LITTLE BI—!” Cyno slapped his face by the opposite side of his previous kick, and this time he let him fall to the ground.

He stared at the man aching like a worm for a few seconds before he decided to rise his right foot and lower it right on top of his ear, pressing it hard against the floor. It caused your husband to grunt and squirm in pain, but neither you or Cyno cared about it. It actually made the both of you satisfied in your own different, twisted ways.

“You know… I’ve always always hated men like you. Coward men who can only discount their stress in things that don’t have a chance against them, like women or animals, just because they aren’t strong enough to face problems like real men or with a man of their size.” Cyno insulted him while rubbing his foot hard against his face, causing him to screech louder.

When he felt satisfied, he took it off his face and inflicted a kick in the man’s stomach. It made your husband scream and cough immediately, but everyone around simply kept watching the scene.

“Hold him.” Cyno ordered to his guards, who slightly shivered when listening to his firm voice after watching such brutal punishment coming from him.

But obviously, both guards nodded and started moving the man’s body until he was staring at you and Cyno again, who was now walking towards you again without softening his face. You didn’t care, it didn’t make you scared at all. You were so glad that he was saving you from your horrible marriage that it felt like if you were feeling thousands of chains letting you go.

“C-Cy—” You tried reaching him to hug him, but he dodged you and went right behind you instead.

You were confused, of course. Some seconds ago he was acting so soft to you, and now he was staring down at you with that annoying, stoic expression like he had something prepared for you. But you were wrong about Cyno’s mood because he still unexpectedly hugged you from behind again just like he did the previous time, tight enough to not allow you to possibly turn back to him or move.

“I’ve never given no further punishment to scum like you rather than jail for some good years. But you have seriously triggered me, I’ll be honest. That’s why I have prepared a special punishment for you… one that will demoralize your pitiful ego.” You felt one of Cyno’s hands suddenly move down, caressing you all the way down to your thighs, sliding under your dress and quickly reaching your underwear.

“I’ll fuck your wife right in front of you.”

His words and actions were so quick, you couldn’t stop him from running his middle finger right between your clothed folds.

“Ah! C-Cyno!” You couldn’t hold back your moan of surprise at him, trying to move your hands to push his hand away from your crotch, but he didn’t stop at all.

Instead, he used his other hand to grab your chin and pull it towards him only to rush his lips into yours like he was trying to suck your soul out of you. He didn’t even let you have time to process his actions, and actually kept overwhelming you with his fingers, scissoring and circling your clothed clit just like he used to do to you when you two were a couple.

“DON’T YOU DARE, YOU FUCKING BASTARD! Y/N IS MY WIFE! MY FUCKING WIFE, YOU HEAR ME?! SHE’S OVER YOU, DUDE! GET OVER IT! SO DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH HER LIKE THAT!” Your husband screamed in jealousy while trying to pull himself away from the guards’ grip, coughing on his own blood afterwards.

“What kind of man does this to his wife?” He turned your face to him to show him your black eye, letting some small parcel of his own anger let out too but trying his best to keep control. “And well, if she’s really over me and loves you the most now, I would like to understand how is she getting this wet and this quickly with my fingers.” Cyno let your face go, this time to pull your dress upwards and show the man the mess he was making of you while you were trying to stop him. “See how her underwear is soaked, huh?” Cyno slid his fingers under your panties, thrusting you with no warning. “See how my fingers slide so easily inside her pussy? Is she really your wife? Or just your ‘property’? Because no real husband would ever leave their wives this hungry… I could even call her my wife.” Cyno scoffed while fingering you in a fast pace just to purposefully make you quiver like a worm with all the shock and pleasure.

“C-Cyno! Please-ah..! S-Stop it..!” You moaned out in slight despair with how he was overpowering you, trying to push his hand off from your cunt, but you were no match to him.

“Tell me, Y/N… Has this man ever even made you cum at least once?” Cyno turned his face to you just to whisper his question right in your ear.

You shook your head side-to-side, trying to avoid answering it and pushing him away, but the pleasure he was giving you was overcoming your senses, turning your muscles even weaker than before.

“Stop it..!” You whimpered again, but he simply kissed you in the cheek romantically.

“Shhhh… it’s ok, Y/N...” He whispered in your ear again with a more gentle tone. “I know you’re scared, but please… let me have this...” His voice broke for a moment to show you just how truly desperate he was under his facade. “I’ll show him that you’re more than some living punch bag… I’ll show him you’re a powerful woman… a queen without a king...” You couldn’t deny that his desperate, hoarse voice made you think about changing your mind.

The idea of having Cyno desperate to have you back was one of the few things that gave you pleasure after his betrayal, although it was just imaginary thing and momentary pleasure. You’d always hide that secret from him, of course, but the way your pussy tightened around his fingers when he begged you gave it out to him. You were feeling good, weren’t you? Despite having your nudity being shown to men who didn’t deserve to see it… you were loving to have your ex-boyfriend begging in your ear for you to allow him to touch your pussy again… just like you once begged for him to not leave you.

And how could you forget just how sexually actively Cyno has always been? You remember how he wasn’t able to go in a trip without having sex with you before and how the first thing he’d do with you when he came back was acting all cuddly and clingy with you until he suddenly became horny and you’d need to spend hours letting him savor and worship you again.

And now it’s been five years since he last touched you like that… what did you expect? The man must be starving like a dog in the streets for some pussy.

But now, having your secret little kink-switch turned on… did it really matter..? The truth was that you could control Cyno if you wanted to. If you gathered all your little, remaining energy to scream at him to stop and let you have your fun, he would’ve. But his petty begging was irresistible, so you decided to relax, throw your body against his chest and follow along with his role-play.

“Y/N, IF YOU KEEP LETTING THAT MAN TOUCH YOU LIKE THAT YOU’RE GONNA NEED A WHOLE ARMY TO STOP ME FROM KILLING THE BOTH OF YOU!” He threatened with the angriest tone he could use, but it really didn’t affect you anymore.

It would’ve if he wasn’t cuffed and kneeled in the floor. It made you wonder about how had he become so toxic throughout these 4 years of relationship once again. Was he a really a red flag from the start like Dehya and Candace told you? A narcissistic man who took advantage of your moment of weakness to have you trapped under his spell and use you for his own benefit? Maybe… no… totally.

Cyno’s previous question also made you realize this even more. Having sex with him used to be good and satisfying in the beginning, especially because you were hurt and wanted to be loved again really bad, but after your marriage was sealed, those experiences only became worser and worser until you had no interest in it at all. For the past months, all rounds of sex you had with him were initiated it by him, and he didn’t care about your pleasure anymore, it was entirely about his own needs and stress levels. Although it didn’t make you feel good at all, at least it was better than having your stomach punched until you were vomiting.

He never apologized for anything bad he previously did to you, he only seemed to appreciate you when you were doing favors for him and he hated when you weren’t dependent on him… it was as clear as the day now. You weren’t just a stupid woman who decided to marry a guy in a year out of spite for your ex… you were really influenced hypnotized into it by his facade. The facade of a cool, chill guy who told you he believed in you when you told him you weren’t schizophrenic or a ‘stalking maniac’ who fantasized about the King, and that you were actually his ex-girlfriend. That’s also why he used it as a way to shame you when you did any mistake after the marriage… he just made you believe he actually understood you so he could learn about your weaknesses precociously.

It all pissed you off really bad.

“Focus on me, Y/N, not him.” Cyno whispered while hugging you closer to reassure your safety, making your brain come back to reality.

The tables have turned now. You were in control of that motherfucker. And at the same time someone was giving you pleasure the way you mostly preferred it.

You’ve haven’t felt such thrill for so long.

“Punch him…” You whispered to yourself, fantasizing with the fall of your marriage while feeling all that relieving pleasure Cyno gave you, but you didn’t realize how Cyno had perfectly heard it.

“Punch him in the face.” Cyno repeated your words to the guards more clearly, who nodded at the same time.

The guard in the left grabbed your husband’s hair from behind, just to lift it in the direction of the one in the right, who quickly fisted his face with a considerable force. The blood that came out of dom him, that was making you sick before, now made you feel even more pleasure.

The guard still kept holding his head even after the punch, forcing him to watch what was Cyno doing to you. It was embarrassing to let yourself be turned on into a hungry, clingy slut in such awkward position that revealed your wet thighs and underwear to everyone in the scene. At least, the guards were also embarrassed, more than you were, but still watching with some arousal. But they knew that if they even thought about expressing it, intentionally or not, they knew they’d be fired or executed in the spot. But what kind of man wouldn’t get aroused watching such a swollen and obedient pussy contort with some fingers and dripping all that pleasure through the thighs? It was mouth-watering for all men in the room… it even made you feel bad for Cyno, who was forcing himself to keep his dick under his pants for the sake of the perfomance.

You couldn’t help and put your hand on top of Cyno’s, feeling that ecstasy finally filling up your mind and your senses. His hand was warm while yours was still warming up.

“You still like it when I finger you like this, don’t you?” Cyno asked with a growing smirk he was trying to hide away from everyone but you.

“Y-Yes! I do..!” You felt so dirty in acting so horny and kinky for a man you swore to hate, but neither of you could deny that Cyno still reigned in your love podium.

Maybe you still loved him deep down in your heart, or simply missed the thrill he gave you in bed.

“Good...” He whispered in your ear once again, trying his best to keep the privacy of what you were doing in that time spot, although you had many witnesses learning how Y/N Y/S acts during sex. “Good…” He repeated, more proud this time.

You were very surprised at how Cyno was still so professional at making you feel pleasure, to a point he was making you forget that littlehatred you’ve built against him as a response of your trauma. It really didn’t feel like five years had passed at all. It felt like Cyno’s clock stopped ticking the day he segregated himself from everyone he used to know, because there was no way he remembered that perfectly how you liked to be fingered.

Two fingers, quick pace, sometimes stopping just to tease your clit… so many details you didn’t remember by yourself.

“YOU RAPIST PSYCHOPATH!” Your husband tried to fight the guards’ force again, but was blatantly ignored by him and held in his place. “AND YOU LITTLE CHEAP SLUT…” His words made your breath hitch, but not in fear, and yes, in pure anger.

Gosh, you just wanted to feel some pleasure again… was that so hard to ask for?! And you knew he didn’t really mean those words to Cyno, but he definitely meant those words to you. That wasn’t the first time he ever called you out for ‘being a slut’, in fact it was one of his most common insults. You had already swallowed so many of those, you knew one day your storage for those would break one day, and now that he had attempted offending the both of you with such disturbing words, you just couldn’t swallow it down your throat anymore.

“Shut up…” You quietly answered, still trying to somehow focus on that pleasure you missed for so long.

“HUH?! YOU THINK I CAN HEAR YOU ON THIS—”

“SHUT UP!” You let a scream out of your throat in a tone you hadn’t used in years. “Look at yourself for one minute! Do you really think I give a crap for what you have to say about me?!” You noticed how you hadn’t changed a lot in his face. “He’s right, y’know..? You are worthless trash… You’re so worthless it genuinely makes me regret marrying you. If I could annul our marriage right now and pretend that it never happened, I fucking would’ve. A divorce would be too shallow for me… It’d still associate me to your name and that thought makes me want to puke.” You tried leaning closer to him, but Cyno did not let you go too far for the sake of your safety.

“Excuse me..?!” He was completely triggered, which made you smile in satisfaction.

“You heard me, motherfucker… I fucking disgust you and your small penis.” You laughed at yourself, looking up to Cyno right afterwards, who still kept that serious facade. “Fuck me to oblivion.” You whispered to him in a seductive tone that immediately made his cheeks flush and swallow whatever he had in his mouth because he had officially given up on the idea of fingering you until you had an orgasm.

You never knew you could manipulate him, a King, handpicked by the Archon, so easily being just a mere citizen. It made you feel wonders watching undo his pants so desperately to fuck you.

“You’re gonna see…” You leaned closer to your husband again with a mean tone in your voice, but all of a sudden you feel a hand smacking your mouth shut from behind.

“You’re gonna see just how meaningless you are. To your wife or society as a whole... by showing you just how much your one and only ‘wife’ doesn’t admire you at all. Not romantically or sexually.” Cyno took over your little authority. “Spread wide for me.” He ordered you, in which you immediately nodded for and obeyed.

Cyno slowly slid down your panties down to your knees along with a grunt in impatience, making it visible to him that you were really going to be fucked to oblivion. You even felt his fingers run around your pussy again, admiring how swollen it was because of his touch. You could feel every single cell of Cyno aching to fuck you again, but unfortunately he was that capable of holding up a character.

The clicking of his pants finally stopped, and you felt his hands run around you until they were in your wrists, bringing them together behind and locking them with the grip of a single hand.

“STOP THIS RIGHT NOW, Y/N Y/HS!” Your husband screamed in pain of his ego burning him alive.

“Come on, Cyno…” You ignored your husband and looked up at to Cyno, while arching your body to him, bringing your ass closer to him until they it was rubbing against his back, making him unable to hold back a deep grunt of pleasure.

If you knew it was this fun to control a man, you would’ve definitely topped Cyno more frequently when you two were still a couple.

But before you could think about making any other sort of sexy comment to tease him, in the matter of a blink, he put his other hand in your hips and pulled your hips until his dick was shoved deep inside you, causing you to scream in the spot with the shock of being so brutally invaded.

He obviously didn’t wait before he could start going in and out of your hole due to all your teasing, turning the both of you into hungry animals in heat in a matter of seconds. And Cyno was already being so mean to your pussy, fucking it raw and good in your g-spot, a spot your husband probably didn’t even know about… of course it was turning you into some dirty, unrecognizable slut, despite all the hatred you built for him and his abandonment. That’s also why he was being able to keep all his moans to the back of his throat. He wasn’t exactly fucking you the way he likes to. He was entirely determined to satisfy you and your untouched pussy while using the reactions he got out of you to create a really mean porn movie to your future ex-husband to destroy his ego.

“C-Cyno!” You screamed out, trying to somehow get him to slow down, but your silly head had forgotten just how badly Cyno had a kink in dominance.

Why the heck did you decide to provoke him into fucking you? Now your pleas really weren’t going to be heard or attended, actually, they’ll only serve to please him even more. Cyno figured that if he kept fucking you in that pace, you were going to keep screaming his name, so he would purposely keep thrusting you like that just to hear your lewd screams he missed so much.

And with your hands and hips locked into one place, all you could do was simply accept his animality. At least you could watch your husband’s face contorting in anger, gripping his fists on nothing as if he was trying to contain himself from killing either you or Cyno. After all, your pussy was making such lewd, west noises from every thrust, like it was trying to pull Cyno in rather than welcoming him in, that your husband has never heard before. It was like your pussy was screaming to him that Cyno was way better than him. To watch his property being owned by another man and loving how it is manhandled was making him feel worthless as he should feel.

Meanwhile, unlike your husband’s displeasure, those noises were making Cyno absolutely go crazy under his firm, stoic look, begging in his mind for you to reach your orgasm quickly so he could end the scene, quit his little character and really have a moment with you. Sex, love or discussion… he just wanted you. That was just a small appetizer of his feelings. But he was obviously more driven into having sex since he was also his first time ever hearing such noises. He was surprised and proud of himself for knowing that that’s how he’s truly satisfying to you despite the lack of contact between you two and the amount of time away from each other. Of course he wanted to personally savor that out with privacy, where he could be himself rather than a powerful King. Not that Cyno wasn’t good enough back then, but that’s simply what happens when you focus too much on one’s pleasure rather than mutual pleasure. Even if he was trying to focus in you, he couldn’t deny that he was as much aroused as you. He was doing everything he most loved to do in you, how was he supposed to not feel great? Your clothes all messed up and thrown around your body, in his favorite position, all arched down with your buttocks up to receive him, and your mouth crying out his name… Poor Cyno… having to hold his urges back and to keep up a face of someone who was indifferent about fucking your wonderful pussy again was pure torture.

Was that even about your husband anymore? What was Cyno thinking when he created such weird revenge plan? Step 1, arrest Y/N’s husband, step 2, send him to hell, step 3, have sex with Y/N, step 4, have sex with Y/N and step 5, have sex with Y/N? It worked perfectly as expected… but if what if it hadn’t? Would he have to awkwardly give up in the idea of fucking you and have to, instead, spend hours beating your husband up in his cell to compensate all the possible pain he inflicted in you? Just to think of you with more bruises and marks under that beautiful dress made his eyebrows frown, and that’s why he wanted to give you that relief.

“Tell me, Y/N Y/S, have you ever even loved your husband..?” Cyno asked in pure desire for sadism, wanting to watch that scum hurt like never before.

What do you mean someone had the audacity to take advantage of your weaknesses to make you fall in love with them, and then marry you just to make you a punching-bag, house-cleaning slave?

Knowing that you also had sex with him before ached him more than he expected it to. All that beautiful nudity and intimacy belonged to him and only him once, the same way his own nudity and intimacy belonged to you, and now another man knows the feeling of it too… it made him deadly jealous.

But instead of hearing your voice answering him something pleasurable to his ears and submissively too, he heard you scoff.

He had the audacity to call you by your full name like that while fucking you? Had he lost the sense of intimacy too? It turned you off since it made you remember of previous things Cyno did in the past, but it didn’t last long until you were turned back on.

“My full name? Really Cy—?”

SLAP!

“Answer me.” He demanded in a more real, angry tone, squeezing the same buttock he slapped with the hand that was in your hips.

It immediately made your pussy tighten around him and your mind numb your rationality again, turning you back to that hungry whore from before. And now that you were back to loving and desiring Cyno, you answered the most irresponsible thing you could ever say to him.

“N-No! I hate him, I hate him! Because… the only one I love is you…” What a cruel lie you had just spat out that easily. It made Cyno’s hand grip on your hips again like he genuinely wanted to break your bones and turn them into dust.

His pace quickened in a blink, and his breathing turned loud. He still refused to open his mouth and let all those hums and grunts out, so he had to leave that job to his nose, which was now letting out high-pitched blows that made you smirk in satisfaction.

Making both men you despised the most hurt this bad because of you… no woman would ever deny such opportunity!

“F-Fuck! Cyno!” You moaned out to him, feeling your pussy tighten around him in desperation for any balance between you and his relentless speed.

“That’s it… keep screaming my name like that and show him just how independent you are.” Cyno praised you while he felt his dick ache for more of your pussy, still hiding his enormous arousal behind that stoic look.

But his eyes were barely blinking at this point. They were stoned in you, although he was trying to pretend they weren’t. It was so obvious that he was loving every bit of that moment… it made you want more of that pathetic version of Cyno.

“YOU ASSHOLE..!” Your husband still had the confidence to insult Cyno somehow.

“Asshole..?” Cyno turned his eyes to the man, pretending to be moved by his words, but giggled right afterwards, proud of what he was doing. “You haven’t even seen half of it and you’re complaining about it like a little kid.” You felt Cyno’s hand run around your body until they were at the ends of your hair.

He curled your locks around his fist some extra times to make the pull less painful to you. But there you were, being manhandled by him, pulled until your sweaty back was rubbing against his chest. He decided to not hurt you poor hips anymore and instead, to show some of his love to other parts of your body he really missed. That’s why you felt your hair fall to your back again, his hand caressing the corners of your right breast, who have been untouched this entire time, and his lips savoring your jawline.

Yet, he was still holding your wrists together. It was hurting you, but the pleasure he was punching inside you was being able to numb your nerves out of it.

Cyno refused to let your husband see any more of your nudity, although he wanted to tease him by messing with it right in front of him, but the shame you were going through was already enough. So, unfortunately, he decided to play with your breasts with that annoying cloth of your dress on top of them. Luckily he still perfectly remembers how soft they felt under it. He could even swear that they’ve grown in his absence, or maybe he had really just missed grabbing on your boobs while absolutely eating your neck out.

You heard your husband whimper and grunt under his breath in agony of seeing Cyno act twice as mean as before. Touching such sacred places that were making you squirm in pleasure. And Cyno was staring at him so proudly while sucking your skin, wanting to watch every single expression of agony of his for his own entertainment.

The view he had created of you was perfect. Being held stuck in place while being so relentlessly fucked and for so long too, by a man who you apparently ‘hated’, but still loving every single bit of it. It was working perfectly and it was all turning him on like hell, but he had to keep denying his orgasm to reach yours. God, why is it so harder to make a woman cum? It was so easy to have Cyno cumming his soul out of his dick like a nasty dog when you two were a couple. He was desperate for that, to apologize, get back to you and have you under him like that again, taking him orgasm inside you. The world could be burning outside and he’d still keep savoring that little pussy of yours he has been lusting for, for over 5 years now. He just… regretted that stupid choice of his that bad. Leaving everyone behind helped him to focus more in his newest duty indeed, but how did he allow himself to do that so closely? How did he think that maybe another woman would show up and make him fall in love with her? Or that another man would make you forget about him? Of course no one compares to you. None of those princesses and duchesses understood him as much as you did. His jokes, his obsession with TCG, his desires… none of them cared about those, only for the king title he held. You, Tighnari, AlHaitham and everyone else in the city understood those. You didn’t sleep with Cyno because you wanted to get pregnant with his kids and get the title of ‘Queen’ as soon as possible, you did it because you loved him. After all, you were the only person that has ever accepted the kinks he likes. Those other women would act disgusted and even terrified of the idea of him being rougher than the necessary. He couldn’t find real pleasure in any of them, they all eventually brought him to stop thrusting in the middle of sex. The royal life really sucked as people said. To find no real fun because of duty, and watch everyone he used to know getting over him. When he found out about your marriage was like if someone stabbed his heart and twisted it upside down. It took you a single year to replace his spot in your heart for another man? He couldn’t blame you, but he was still heartbroken. He literally couldn’t even feel pleasure in other women if they weren’t acting you or if he wasn’t thinking about you during it.

He was so heartbroken that he went to your marriage and watched you from a hidden spot. He couldn’t believe you were genuinely replacing him in such short matter of time. But there you were, in that beautiful dress, gorgeous makeup, sweet voice saying ‘yes’, kissing that same man he was torturing right now so passionately. The jealousy made him sick to the stomach. He couldn’t bear to watch it all and accept that his actions were obviously going to have consequences… that he wasn’t the one waiting for in the altar, kissing you and hearing all those claps and cheers. Thankfully, Tighnari made sure he really wasn’t welcome. He liked you too much to let Cyno possibly ruin what was supposed to be one of the best days and decisions of your life.

“She’s over you, Cyno, forget about it! You’ve hurt her and everyone else enough! If you try talking to her at this moment, it’ll just hurt the both of you more AND her relationship with that man. Please… just get out.”

Cyno grunted in stress. Reminding himself of those days was almost taking his focus out of his objective and the fact that you were indeed letting yourself to be fucked by him once again, even if you were still acting a little mean to him.

He knows he doesn’t deserve it. He knows he corrupted you into it… but he still had a little spark of hope that you were really being serious about letting him give you pleasure or about how you told him you loved him.

He needed you to still love him.

Cyno took his head out of your jaw and looked down at the mess he was doing between your organs to forget all that negativity. He could confirm right there that was the wettest pussy he had ever fucked. He thought the mushy noises was all that was new, but he wasn’t expecting to see a creamy ring in the end of his own cock, to a point where it was mostly white. And there was also the beauty of your pussy all stretched out and swollen to receive him. Were you really feeling thar good because of him? There was no way. Cyno licked his lips. He really wanted to smirk at the scene and worship just how well you were doing, but he couldn’t. Instead, he just fisted your boob tighter, trying to express his feelings to you with physicality.

And he couldn’t wait to be done with his task to tell you that and so many more things.

“Cyno~! I’m going to—..!” Your poor little self couldn’t even finish a sentence due to the overstimulation breaking you down.

“Do it, Y/N. Show him how he’s irrelevant… how he can’t make no woman feel good.” He ordered to you out loud, causing your body to squirm in excitement of his harshness and to watch your husband so broken.

His hand circling your breast gave up on that concept and decided to hold your jaw. He pushed it upwards, making sure it was were locked in an awkward position and open to let all those slutty moans of yours to come out of you and make his message even clearer, although it meant he wouldn’t be hearing his name coming out of it anymore.

He heard enough, didn’t he?

But it didn’t matter.

“Cum.”

Cyno’s dominant voice was like a switch to your poor cunt, who immediately begun exploding cum around him. When he started feeling something cheesy coming down right from your cervix while you started to squirm and scream in ecstasy, he pulled away immediately too. He had the intentions of fucking you over and over, until all the cum generated was running down to the floor, but thankfully all he needed was that single round. It was lovely in his eyes. Nothing was more pleasing than pulling out his duck from you and watching your pussy leaking out all those mixed liquids from between your folds so slowly and seductively, like it was begging for more sex. You had only went through one round, but the results of it made it look like you’d gone through five. Cyno urged to suck every single drop of it and swallow it, or fill you up with his own orgasm until there was a bulge in your stomach, but watching it cream all the way down to the floor and making loud whenever a drop fell to the ground, showing the density of your orgasm, was fun enough.

Your body was trembling, sometimes quivering in agony of cumming so hard. It really felt like your body had been really stocking it up for all these months or even years for the next time you felt real pleasure.

And once again, Cyno was the reason why you felt such relieving ecstasy. Not your husband, or anyone else… him.

“And that’s how you make a woman truly submissive to you… Punches are only a temporary way to do it that will never make her want to become more submissive to you.” Cyno let go of your jaw, and used the same hand to lift up your dress, showing all three men your nudity in such awkward state, still not letting go of your wrists. “The entire point of submission is to do it because you get something in return. Punches aren’t a prize, so why keep trying to reach perfection? She might’ve said horrible things about me, and I don’t blame her, but those are useless if you can’t get her to praise you. That’s why she still cums so hard with me. I can give her whatever she wants and the double of it. You can’t.” Cyno giggled at the man while running a finger around the cum mess he had created, appreciating it like it was a masterpiece.

Cyno couldn’t back his will to smirk anymore. The feeling of knowing all of that pleasure you felt was only possible with him and only him was unbearable. He was pretty much done with his roleplay anyway so now he could finally express his pride.

“I hope you’re happy, Y/N…” Your husband said with a low tone to you, scoffing at the horrific event that had just happened, pretending his ego wasn’t burning him alive. “You just fucked your ex like an animal in heat… after all you’ve said about him to me… how you hated him, how you despised him, how he was so cruel to you… how I was better. But I bet my house you would’ve gagged in his cock right now like a baby goat sucks its mother’s breasts if he asked you to do so…” He look at you deep down in your eyes while insulting your person, which made simply look away in some shame, finally beginning to wake up to reality again. “You’re a pathetic slut, Y/N, I feel disgusted in knowing that I married you one day. You can go ahead and annul our marriage. I don’t fucking care. I would’ve never done it if I knew how easy it would be to lose you for some cock. You are a useless wife. I feel bad for the King to be in love with you.” You heard Cyno sigh from behind, then letting you go to walk towards the man while buttoning his pants back to normal.

You simply stared at him and processed all those words. You were mad at the way he talked to you, of course, but it also made you get mad at yourself… at what you allowed yourself to commit with Cyno.

Sex was over. Pleasure was over.

Cyno had still committed many sins to you.

“You’re really going to be a tough case, aren’t you?” Cyno kicked him in his chin, causing him to fall in his back.

“Argh!!” He grunted in pain while Cyno kept stepping on him. It made you feel like vomiting. All that violence… all that convincing he used to make you accept his idea... And you probably would’ve done it even if Cyno was also looking for his own orgasm there.

“If you think you’re able to make me feel offended, you really need some beating back to reality.” Cyno paused for a moment, feeling all that anger he got from his words slowly fade away. “I’ll see you again in a couple of hours. Guards, take him back to the dungeons.” Cyno started walking back to you gently while the guards begun dragging the man out of the room while he tried to fight back and protest.

When he was close enough, he offered you a hand to stand up, and you decided to accept, although you were triggered by your husband’s words. You both remained awkwardly quiet while waiting for the doors to close while Cyno ran a hand through some parts of your hair, fixing it after being so aggressive to it.

And as soon as the cranky noises were done and a loud bang echoed around the room, Cyno leaned closer to you.

“I’m still not done with you.” He whispered in your ear before immediately jumping his mouth to your neck and his hands in your body.

You quivered with his actions. You weren’t expecting him to start anything like that, so you couldn’t hold him back, but you definitely did not want him to put his mouth in your neck and lick it until it was wet with with his saliva.

“H-Hey!” You screamed to him, who firmly ignored you and kept going for it. “Stop!” You tried pushing him away by his shoulders.

“Please… just once more…” He begged with a hoarse, desperate voice while his hands roamed down to your buttocks under your dress, squeezing them tight when he reached them.

Cyno missed doing that so much. Although he had just done it while he fucked you, he wanted to worship them way more.

“Cyno! Stop it!” You attempted kicking him away from you.

“I promise I’ll make you like it, but please—” He kept trying but your instincts as a woman finally went out of their cage for security measures.

“STOP!” You screamed in pure fear, causing Cyno to finally stone his body in place.

He wanted you badly, but he didn’t want you if you didn’t desire him. If you were going to keep screaming for him to stop instead of begging him to go faster in you just brought him discomfort.

He pulled away, watching you immediately undo his hand around you and fix your dress and underwear once again.

“Y/—” He tried calling you out, but you were immediately triggered to madness.

SLAP!

Cyno accepted the slap politely like it was wind.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” You screamed at him, who simply looked down and placed a hand on the cheek you smacked to ease the slight pain.

You had never done something like that to him, so it was definitely shocking to him.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized, finally creating courage to look at you again.

You scoffed at how stoically short he was being with that apology. The stress of it made you shake your head, trying to let it go and not take over your mind.

“I have to go.” You spoke in a serious tone again, beginning to walk from the room quickly, which caught him off guard.

“Wait!” He immediately held your wrist when you passed through him, making inertia almost make you fall.

“What do you want?!” You looked back at him angry, while he just had a sad puppy expression in his face.

“Where are you heading off to..?!” He asked in desperation.

“I’m going home, of course!” You tried freeing your worst from him, but he didn’t let you go.

“Oh, Y/N, please!” He got on his knees and held your hand in a position where he could smooch it gently multiple times. “Stay here! I want to talk to you… to be with you… literally anything as long as you stay with me!” He specified what he wanted, shaking your hand while acting like a beggar.

“But I don’t want to! Especially not after what you did!” You looked at him like your roles in society had switched. You were the queen and he was the peasant. “I’m still so fucking mad at you, I can’t believe I allowed you to fucking have sex with me!” You complained to yourself.

“I know, and that’s why I want you to stay, Y/N! I want to apologize and redeem you for everything I’ve done to you and everything you’ve been through this time! You just said you still loved me… so, please, let me love you back.” He got up still holding your hands gently close to his mouth like he was ready to smooch it if you said ‘yes’.

“Are you kidding me, Cyno..?! That was me under the effects of sex! I was kinky and I let that out! It meant nothing! I do not love you! In fact, I really want to punch you in the face right now!” You vented a tiny parcel of your feelings to him that barely cut his heart in half.

“Then do it! Punch me, but at least let me tell you just how regretful I am! I know you want to hear it, Y/N, don’t you?! I regret it! I regret it all!” Your heart ached, wishing it could take those words seriously. “I want to be your friend, or boyfriend, or even more again! I want to be friends with everyone again! I want to go back to the city and drink with everyone in the bar while playing TCG! I really, really miss it all and I couldn’t regret it more…” He begun tearing up as he expressed his grief.

You remained quiet for some seconds, appreciating Cyno’s honesty and will to let himself to be honest with his deepest feelings. But you couldn’t reciprocate him.

You sighed, and prepared yourself to break his heart.

“I know, Cyno… I missed it too.” He looked at you with some hope that you would accept him back to your life, slightly turning your hands loose. “But you still refused me and everyone else when we missed you. It’s only fair for us to do the same now… after you have completely broken our hearts. I’m not doing this out of spite for you, Cyno… I really just don’t want to look at you right now.” You took the opportunity of his loose hands to shake it away of his grip and turn away from him to begin opening the golden doors, causing a tear to finally run down his cheek, and many others.

“Y/N, come on… you said it! We just had sex! That can’t mean nothing! Please, let me have a chance to say what I want to say and must say!” He followed you from behind as you walked your way out of that castle and trying to ignore his words.

“Well, thanks for the orgasm, Cyno, but that really wasn’t about you.” You tried remaining a stoic tone while you two walked through his beautiful gardens.

Thankfully, the room where his throne was wasn’t too far from one of the castle’s many gates, so you wouldn’t need to keep listening to Cyno’s annoying whimpering in your ears for too long.

“Y/N… please..! Don’t go..!” He held you by your shoulder when he saw you touching the small gate you were going after.

“No, Cyno! Accept it!” You screamed at him again, slapping his hand away from yours. “Your choices have consequences!” You paused for a moment to breathe in and out. “I’m exhausted. Please… I need some rest.” You stated, way more calm than before, rubbing your palm through your forehead, trying to ease your growing headache.

He was so ready to beg you to stay once again, but before he spoke, he shut his lips and breathed in and out too while holding tighter in your shoulders for a moment.

Then… he let you go.

“Ok…” He finally accepted it.

You took a last look at him, feeling a little bad for his desperation. But everytime you allowed yourself to feel bad for him, you remembered how he didn’t feel bad for you when it was your turn… or did he..?

… You didn’t want to think about it now…

“Goodbye, Cyno.” You finally turned away from him and opened the gates.

“W-Wait…” He jumped closer to you, but decided to not touch you.

“What..?” You didn’t want to look backwards.

“Your… Your Tahchin was great… really great.” He scratched the back of his neck while praising you.

“…Thanks.” You still refused to look back at him and finally walked away in a rhythm that wouldn’t let him possibly stop you with his voice again.

.

Your home felt awkwardly empty, and you were glad about it.

There wasn’t a man keeping you hostage in your own comfort place anymore. Now it was just you waking up in that bed, cooking breakfast, cleaning the mess of the kitchen, and taking care of the little garden in the tiny front yard of the home. Unfortunately, you didn’t plan to keep the home to yourself although it was a really beautiful place. All the horrible things you went through inside it made it look ugly. But you definitely planned to burn everything that belonged to your husband. Even after rejecting Cyno, you couldn’t deny he woke you up about your husband in a way. He made you realize you were never really trapped and that your husband didn’t really mean anything to you... you didn’t feel embarrassed to be fucked in front of him anyway. He was fun in the beginning, but after he switched his real, narcissistic personality, your heart just went back to how it was 5 years ago, a heartbroken woman. You wished you could feel the same way about your husband towards Cyno, but everything between them was too different. You couldn’t just start hating him after so many years of love and appreciation like a light switching turning in and off. And… you were grateful that he did something about your husband’s violence in the end of the day.

If he hadn’t done anything about it, you would’ve probably ended up killing yourself due to the insanity your husband was brining you to have.

You sighed. That ‘old’, vulnerable Y/N was becoming an embarrassing memory to you. You were changing, and that black eye was the main metaphor for it to you. It had almost fully disappeared from your eye, only leaving a purple mark under them that could he easily covered with makeup. No man would ever treat you with disrespect again. Not even your mixed feelings towards Cyno would let him act the way he did to get your legs to spread, nor a man that’s twice your size would harm you. You are a human too, not some sort of toy.

That’s why you’re making coffee. You wanted to feel like you owned something, to feel more awake in that Saturday morning and occupy your mind with other things you had to do now that you were going to get your marriage annulled and the house sold.

Knock knock

Your head turned to your door immediately.

The thought of it being something unpleasant surrounded your mind in a blink. It could be Cyno or his guards, a neighbor asking about your husband, a friend wanting to visit you in the worst time possible ever.

Although you wanted to tell them about everything that happened, you knew it’d bring you to cry a river of tears. You were too exhausted for that.

But you couldn’t let whoever was out waiting, it would be unnecessarily impolite of you.

“Good morning, lady. Are you Y/N Y/S?” The guard in fancy, golden armor asked to you when you opened the door.

You sighed in disappointment.

“Yes. Yes, I am.” You admitted. You didn’t have anywhere to run anyway.

“Here. A letter from the King.” He handed you a white paper envelope with a golden stamp that marked it was really a letter from Cyno.

“Thank you. Have a good day.” You grabbed the letter gently and immediately closed the door right in front of the guard.

Sigh.

He really didn’t want to let go, did he?

But you had no choice but to open that envelope and pull the document from it open.

.

Y/N Y/S,

This is an oficial letter from the King’s office.

The King requires your presence at his castle today by 8:30 PM. If you come earlier, in time, or tardy, the guards are still going to open the gates for you. If you are really tardy, in attempt to be absent or not, guards will be sent to bring you here by force. If you cannot come for another reason (such as an illness or a trip), please try to warn the office in advance by sending this letter back to us with your motif down here.

______________________________________

Have a good day,

The King’s office’s secretary

.

You couldn’t help but scratch your eyes. You had the entire routine for the week prepared, but Cyno simply goes ahead and fucks it up. And the fact that he knew that you were tired and needed a break, but still was going to force you to come to his castle pissed you off. Unfortunately, if you wrote ‘I need a break’ as a motif to not come, guards would still be sent since it isn’t a ‘good reason’ according to law or to Cyno’s needs.

But the thing that most called out your attention in the letter was the giant, cursive writing in the bottom of the letter.

Please come

Of course it was Cyno’s classic, big and beautiful handwriting, and of course he wanted you to come back to him as soon as possible.

Well, you couldn’t deny you wanted to hear what he possibly had to say for an apology, could you? But just the thought of going there and having to stare at those puppy eyes of his and tolerate his desperate behavior made you feel lazy and tired.

And, oh God, the amount of work you will probably have to do to keep that man from fucking you dry again will not be easy at all…

Taglist: @shyentsfoundherink @the-stinky-winky @kindofshyent @allfearstofallto @amoyanderes

Don’t forget to like and comment if you liked it <3

[rustedhearts]

losing dogs (troubled!steve harrington x pregnant fem!reader)

summary: your ex boyfriend learns he's going to be a father—will he step up? or is steve harrington doomed to the life of sin he was born into?

uses she/her pronouns and female anatomy.

✶ the sinner ✶ the library ✶ record store

tags: drug use/abuse, angst, pregnancy!, mention of previous domestic abuse, toxic relationship, not edited again so ignore mistakes pls.

"tell your baby that i'm your baby. i bet on losing dogs. i know they're losing and i pay for my place by the ring, where i'll be looking in their eyes when they're down."

— i bet on losing dogs, mitski

rural midwest. summer, 2009.

"So, the doctor says everything's on track for twenty-six weeks. Her heartbeat's strong, and all....that."

It had been nearly two weeks since Steve's release from County. Early release for good behavior. You snickered when you got the call—Steve didn't have good behavior. But he had enough cash stashed under various floorboards and shoved into different hiding places to earn himself such.

About twenty weeks since you visited him at County and held up a square piece of paper with a black and grey blob on it. Pressed it to the glass block between the pair of you and watched his eyes blow wide.

"I'm pregnant, Steve."

Surprisingly, he never even asked if it was his. He must've known—after all, it had been a while since you'd seen each other. After the last lapse in judgement (also known as the night of conception), you cut him off completely. You wanted a clean break, even promised yourself a fresh start with a new place. A trailer on the other side of town, closer to the city. You were inching your way there, hoarding all the tips you made and saving them for the day you'd finally make it out.

But then...this. Her. The little baby in your belly that would look like Steve.

And it had only been two weeks since Steve left County.

But here he was at the diner: pale, clammy, and rocking in the vinyl booth.

"Uh-...Uh huh," Steve stuttered, nibbling on the skin of his bottom lip.

He had his hands shoved into the pockets of a weighted, canvas camo. Shoulders hunched up high near his ears to pull in warmth.

It was eighty-nine degrees out and the diner didn't have central air. A dampness clung to the back of your maternity dress and festered under your hair.

But he was on parole. He was being watched. Drug tested regularly. He wouldn't be this stupid, right?

Steve never touched drugs harder than marijuana when you were together. All those years—even when he was dealing it or moving it himself—Steve never once touched anything. Alcohol? Sure, he had a bender or two.

But something like this? Sweats, disorientation, a way of twitching his neck and cocking it out like someone was twisting his ear.

Never something like this.

Maybe it was because he was the father of your child. Maybe it was because you were counting on him to be there now that he was out of jail, now that he could do something. Maybe you thought telling him he was going to have a living, breathing child with his face and his DNA running around in the world in ten weeks would break him from whatever evil, downward spiral he'd been on for the past decade.

But you couldn't bring yourself to catch onto the glaringly obvious just yet.

"Um...the trailer's a two bedroom, so I'm setting up the spare room as a nursery. I've been reading about different ways for babies to sleep, and I think I'd like her to sleep with me for a bit, you know? So she's closer, and...and I can watch her. Um, but maybe you could help a little? There's a bassinet I was looking at—"

"Huh?"

"A bassinet," you enunciated. "It's like a cradle?"

Steve shuddered, rocking forward a little more. He jostled the table, and you steadied the mug of tea sitting in front of you.

"Oh...oh-oh-kay."

The longer you watched—eyeing the purpled skin hollowed under his eyes, and the pale, almost grayness of his skin collecting sweat like scales, the wideness of his shoulders narrow in and tremble—the worse the sour taste in your mouth became.

He was high. This was something worse.

You inched forward, huddling closer to the table as far as your bulging stomach would allow. You kept your voice low and stern.

"Are you fucking high right now, Steve?"

Steve pulled one hand from his pocket, and it went at snail's pace to his face. He wiped the sweat at his brow, cursing when his hand knocked his mug and nearly tipped it on the way back down.

"Huh? No...no, m' not...Not high."

He licked his lips, and you could only stomach another moment of watching his pale, greyed face twist with another wave of burning pain before you were jostling the table in your struggle to stand.

“Jesus, Steve—“

“‘m not—m’ not fuckin’ high, Jesus! Sit back down.”

His voice wavered somewhere between his previous sternness when he used to boss you around, and the junkyard dog growling for scraps.

But you couldn’t be bossed around anymore. You weren’t his rope to tug around, his boomerang to throw against the wall and wait to see if you’d come right back. You would no longer go running back to the man shaking in the diner booth. You had a little girl to think of. You had a future to plan for, and it was no longer just your own.

When you managed to squeeze your way out of the booth, Steve’s sticky hand snatched at your arm to pull you back.

“Sit the fuck back down—“

You spun sharply, teeth gritted tightly together as you pulled at your arm. “You can’t tell me what to do anymore.”

The purpled skin under his eyes looked worse up close. Almost violet—brightened with red undertones and blue spots. They were veined and puffy, and the patches of skin under his nostrils were pink. You didn’t notice that at first. Why didn’t you notice that?

Steve pulled his fingers away slowly, dropping them on the table. “I-I know.”

You sighed, cradling your spine and pushing out the pressure on your stomach. It grew bigger every day it seemed, bulging wider and wider under fabric. You spoke to your belly at night, when the trailer seemed so much bigger than it was and every noise in the park made you cower.

Despite your every wish not to, part of you ached for Steve. In those moments when you cowered and squeezed your eyes shut in the darkness, you longed for Steve’s body behind you. On the other side of the bed, steady and warm and firm. A gun on the nightstand and a hand always ready for it.

Steve might’ve been a terrible man, but he never would’ve let someone hurt you. Only he could do that.

“You’re high, Steve.” You breathed out slowly, head shaking. “And don’t lie and tell me you aren’t.”

Steve kept your gaze for a moment before ripping it away, tapping two fingers on the linoleum with vigor. His knee hadn’t stopped bouncing the whole time.

“Fine,” he murmured. “Yeah, so-so what?”

“I can’t believe I thought you’d change.”

Steve brought his lip between his teeth again, chewing on the already cracked skin. He tapped the table again in a stuttered rhythm. His knee bouncing knocked the salt shaker over and it slid across the table when he reached out to fix it too quickly.

“You know what? Don’t worry about the bassinet, Steve. I’ve got it all covered. Just…leave us alone.”

He kept his head down the whole time until you were gone. Waited for you to leave with a sharp ding through the diner door, and then he watched you through the window. He watched you stagger your way toward the beater you bought a few months ago. He could almost hear the rusted whine when the door flung open.

He wanted to run after you. He wanted to tell you that he didn’t want to leave you alone. He wanted to say he’d find a bassinet, and he’d do whatever else you wanted.

But he was scratching at his thigh and fighting off the urge to rip his face off. Because all he could think of was another hit. Another line. Another pill. He knew it was all waiting for him back home. Back home where his bed still reminded him of you, and the stain on the kitchen wall where he broke a bowl of chili that he threw at you. He laid in front of it one night when he was off his face and tried to scrub the paint free of chili.

But he couldn’t.

And he couldn’t be the man you wanted him to be.

✶ ✶

At the trailer, you sat on a plastic foldout chair in the baby’s room. It was the only item in the room. The only thing you had. You stared at the blank, yellow walls, and ran your hand gently over your stomach.

“Hey, butterfly,” you whispered, making a circle with two fingers over your navel. “It’s your mommy. I’m sure you know that.”

You leaned back into the plastic and sighed. When you shut your eyes, you saw Steve's grey and purple and clammy skin. You saw his hazel eyes rimmed with red and swollen in poor health. You suddenly could not conjure an image of Steve before your break-up.

Fighting the urge to dig up the old photos in a shoebox in your closet took more effort than you wanted it to.

"Your daddy wants to be here, but...he's just going through a hard time. Your daddy is...complicated. I hope you never have to know that."

You lifted your heels to rock the chair, but quickly stopped yourself. The rocker you wanted was too expensive and your mother wouldn't lend you money. Steve couldn't even pay for a bassinet. You had an application for a second job sitting on the kitchen counter next to two baby bottles.

"We'll be okay," you tell your stomach, flattening your hand to rub again. "Just us girls. I'll do my best to make it feel like home."

You stared into the buttery walls in silence for a while. Imagined a changing table pressed against it with a fluffy pink blanket. The bassinet you wanted somewhere nearby, and a baby wriggling inside it, all swaddled up. A mobile of butterflies that would tinkle a slow tune. A brown teddy bear and a letter block on a small shelf.

A clatter against the porch had you jolting upward. Your hands immediately went to your stomach, which you kept close watch of as you inched toward the hall. A creak, then a groan, then another soft clatter against the aluminum of the storm door. A set of footsteps hurried down the steps and over the unmanicured lawn. You poked your head around the wall and peeked into the living room, where a small window overlooked the park.

When you were certain no one was out there, you swung open the door and paused. A crumpled, bulging envelope fell into the doorway, tucked between the storm door and the wood grain of the one against your palm. You let it go to bend for the envelope, flipping it over to reveal a familiar, unkempt scrawl.

For her.

You could almost smell him on it, could see his dirtied fingerprints on the crisp edges of the stack of bills. There must've been hundreds crammed in there. You would count it later when you could bring yourself to stop sobbing.

And when the sun started to set, you gave into old urges and rifled through your closet. The box of old photos was exactly where you left it—and inside, atop the stack of Polaroids and developed film, was a faded green flannel. You sank onto your bed and brought it to your nose.

It smelled like autumns and winters at the old house, huddled under old quilts and towels for warmth. When the heat went out and Steve was too busy spending another night at the bar or in a cell to care. When he was in the kitchen counting cash and smoking a cigarette and hadn't bothered to tell you goodnight.

Or when he came home from County again and brought you a single-stemmed rose. When he'd kiss you in the front seat of his truck after helping you up, buckling you in with those firm, dirty hands. When you curled up in his lap on the couch, nuzzled into his neck and feeling the buttons barely hanging on against his neck. Felt his heartbeat on your cheek, against your palm. Felt his breath tickle your hair. Felt his hand on your back and your thigh, holding you close.

You could never decide between hating and loving Steve. He never let you think about one or the other for too long. The line he dangled you on started out frayed and over the years, you struggled to hang on.

Despite the fact that you were no longer together, you still felt that line getting tugged. For the sake of your daughter, you knew you had to cut it down for good.

But could you?

[http-tokki]

Happy birthday, pretty girl

~ bakugou katsuki x fem!reader ~ tags/cw: aged up bakugou, time skip to when everyone is pro heroes, fluff, friends to lovers, deadbeat boyfriend, explicit language, katsuki outdoing ur stupid boyfriend, toxic relationships, y/n is written as honey (that's ur name cause I hate reading y/n) ~ wc: 2.8k

A bouquet.

A $350 bouquet had been the catalyst to the end of your relationship.

The break-up had not come out of the blue. Resentment had been building for months now with endless bickering and sniping, fights over Instagram likes and hidden accounts, your ex’s inability to hold down a stable job for longer than a month and when he was let go from his last job a few months ago, the lack of effort at finding a new job, which in turn left you to pick up the slack with the rent and bills. It hadn’t been like that in the beginning; no failed relationship ever is, but as the months rolled into years, what was once cute ineptitude at basic life skills morphed into weaponised incompetence that had you acting as mother and girlfriend for the twenty-something-year-old man child. If only you could go back in time and warn your former self of the absolute hell waiting for you at the end of the road. 

A different form of bitterness seeped into your relationship this past month. A monstrous animosity had taken up residence in the chests of both you and him, causing a fight like no other and all because you were inviting your childhood best friend to your upcoming birthday dinner. Your ex had spotted the name Bakugou Katsuki on the list of guests and scoffed, muttering displeasure under his breath. A few back-and-forth quips rolled into a screaming match that had ended when you laughed out your final killing blow. 

“You can either suck it up and come to my, your girlfriend’s, birthday dinner or sit at home and mope around. It’s your choice, but make up your mind before I book so I know if I’m paying for you or not.”

It had been a tad cruel of you to add the last part, but you were growing tired of having to cover his half of the bill at dinner and skip out on outings with friends because he didn’t want to look cheap and have you pay, so your insult was justified its own brutal way. 

You sent out the invitation texts the next day to your close friends and their partners. RSVPs flooded your inbox within half an hour. All, except for two who had work engagements overseas, eagerly agreed to the dinner with feverish excitement. All but one. The loser that was your boyfriend sent a thumbs-up reaction to your message in the group chat, which he the. promptly left. 

Katsuki, however, had called you the second he saw the short message. 

“I’ll be there; I just might be a bit late ’cause I’ve got that TV gig that afternoon.” He sighed into the phone, and you could practically see the scowl forming at the idea of being late to an event. “Actually, let me see if I can move it around.”

“‘Suki, no. Just come afterwards, please. Don’t move anything,” you pleaded, dropping the stack of papers you had organised a few minutes prior. “If you need to miss it, it’s okay.” you added lightly, disappointment evident in your voice despite your best efforts.

“Hey, I said I’d be there, didn’t it? I just might be late,” Bakugou assured you, tone stern to avoid further protests from you. “What’s the name of the booking under anyway?”

“Mine, why?” your brows furrowed in suspicion.

“Just wondering.” He replied with a tone far too casual for him.

Gasping at the sudden realisation, you shouted down the receiver. “Katsuki, if you even think about putting your card down as payment, you’re-“

“Ohh wow, would you look at that, call waiting! I’ll call you later; text me when you’re at work.”

--

Your boyfriend is the ninth person to arrive at dinner. After kicking him out for the evening before your reservation time, wanting to have time with the girls to relax and debrief the situation of your current partner. The girls were never fans, Mina going as far as to add him to her own personal hit list should he ever commit a minor law infraction, and his continued behaviour just added to their growing disdain. It didn’t help that you were growing to loathe him too. The loser arrived well beyond the appropriate amount of time to be late without an excuse or text and just strolled in without acknowledging the hostess, who smiled and offered to guide him to the table.

Ick. 

“Is he wearing-?” Mina whispers, sliding up next to you to stare at your underdressed boyfriend.

“Yep. He’s wearing track pants.” You confirm as you spot the familiar print across the left leg and the slouched cut of the sweat. 

“Is he for real?” Jiro’s voice comes for your left, looping her arm through yours. 

You frown at the lack of effort and complete disregard for the dress code, but that small part of you screams in vindication at his disinterest. He strolls to you with the confidence garnered only from the current lack of Bakugou and presses his cheek to yours in a polite kiss. He would have gone in for a side hug, but your two friends were unmoving from their positions. 

“You’re late.” You mutter, tone entirely indifferent. 

“Yeah, well, traffic” is the excuse given, and a poorly made bouquet is shoved at you before he walks away. Jiro reaches out and grabs the flowers with one hand, tossing them at the present table. 

The frown you have deepens. Blue chrysanthemums and white roses wrapped in what appears to be yesterday’s newspaper. No card or note, just flowers in colours you despise. He had to be doing this purposefully, giving you another reason to fight with him and pull the plug on this trainwreck. The three of you watch as he makes the rounds, and your frown grows into something that can only be labelled as repulsion. God, you need to end this. Everything about him is giving you the ick. Your mind wonders about the breakdown of your relationship and how to do it, how to get out of tonight a single woman and – Kirishima’s voice disrupts your daydreams.

Eijiro greets Bakugou first. Spotting the blonde as he steps into the restaurant, he calls out to his best friend with a loud Hey! You look up and see your best friend standing in the entryway to the restaurant, strong arms full of the most beautiful bouquet you have ever seen. Pink and purple hydrangeas spill over the lilac wrapping paper, adorned with baby’s breath and pastel tulips, stalks of greenery, and there was even a hint of jasmine bordering the main bulk of the blooms. Your heart squeezes. He had gotten all your favourites despite most of them being out of season and insanely hard to acquire. You hear shuffling from the far end of the table, but pay it no mind as Katsuki saunters towards you. He had followed the theme, dressed in a suit and tie with his hair combed down in a slicked-back style that accentuates the sharp lines that make up his face. The suit was snug but not small, fitting his muscles and broad shoulders just right in a way that made your stomach twist. Heat blooms across your face, and you squeeze the hand that is now in yours.

“Can you fuck him already, please?” Mina teases, squeezing your hand back.

“I’m working on it.” You whisper back as a joke despite the obvious heat filling your body.

The girls laugh beside you. “oh, she’s working on it,” Jiro echoes your confession, snickering as Mina makes a lewd gesture.

“She’s working on what?” Katsuki asks as he reaches the three of you. “Hi.” His greeting is solely to you.

“Hi.” You parrot, feeling the girls leave your side in exchange for Bakugou’s arms.

He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you right up against his toned body and squeezes. You’re lifted from the floor, hauled into the air and spun as soft laughs leave you, and for a moment, it is only the two of you.

You’re lowered back to the ground, arms still wrapped around each other as he whispers his congratulations. “Happy birthday, pretty girl.” A kiss is pressed to your cheek, and you feel lightheaded.

Cold air fills the space once occupied by him as he pulls back, reaching down to grab the bouquet he had placed on the table and shows you the arrangement.

“Pink and purple hydrangeas,” he announces just loud enough to be heard by your boyfriend sitting a few seats down. “And tickets to the flower festival next month. You can take him, but I’m also free that weekend, and I have a car…” his words trail off at the obvious jab at your car-less partner. “I also put my card down as payment, so go wild, okay?”

“‘Suki.” you reprimand in a breathy giggle, having already been through this with him via text, but you can’t help but swoon at his chivalry.

“It’s your birthday, angel. I can’t have you paying for it.” You blush again at the pet name but frown up at him nonetheless.

Bakugou smiles back and presses another kiss to the top of your head before pulling away to greet everyone else.

“I seriously thought you were about to kiss him just then.” Jiro snickers, reappearing at your side the second you’re alone.

“I seriously did, too.”

--

It is a small dinner. Only a handful of your close friends and their partners but all the people you know and care for, and they you, so when your cake is brought out, and the songs are sung, you feel loved, and that love is continued through dessert as the game Whispers from Heaven begins. 

Jiro and Mina gush about your undivided love and loyalty; Denki smiles and recalls your generosity and patience during the afternoon you had helped him through math homework (and he swore his eternal oath to you from that day on); Kiri tears up at the mention of his emo days and how you had been his friend even when he looked like a My Chemical Romance extra; Momo praising your loving and unjudgmental heart, Sero gifting you the title of World’s Best Mom despite having no actual children but the care and devotion you had shown to your friend group earned you many a mother’s day present and Bakugou toasting your entire being for you had been his friend since middle school and stuck by him through all the happened during UA and the subsequent years, how you had been a rock in his life and every year had been a blessing and he wished for many more to come. Zuku and Ochaco had written their whispers in via text (a mission had taken them away from your dinner ), and their words had been just as sweet.

You were tearing up as everyone gushed about you, wiping at your eyes before they could even fall, but as your boyfriend’s turn came, the air shifted.

“Uhh, she is….” He stammers, nervously looking around the table at your friends, all waiting for his answer.

In theory, he should have the best point. He is your boyfriend, after all, two years shared together, but as he sits there, floundering like a fish with his mouth opening and closing, you feel your patience start to snap. Maybe you were going to break it off tonight. The guilt of leaving him potentially homeless and broke had been keeping you around for months, and you think he knows that, and that’s why he hadn’t gotten a job or made any move to progress his life.

Are you about to be free and single again? Is he about to seal his fate of living out of his parent’s garage? Part of you hopes yes; is desperate to say goodbye to the soul and money-sucking leech that had been attached to you for months now, but part of you feels bad for him.

“Ohh! I’ve got it!” he announces, holding his glass of wine in the air in a toast.

You hold your breath, unaware of what his answer is going to be.

“She has a really good ass. So hot,” he laughs and tips his glass to the sky, “the back shots are fucking amazing.”

Your jaw slackens at this confession.

There is a chorus of gasps and snorts of astonishment as your group comes to terms with what has just been said. Jiro slaps her hand over her mouth as both Momo and Mina’s head whip towards her, eyes wide and brows raised. Denki blushes red but hides it behind his hands; Sero and Kiri are staring at Bakugou, who is glaring at your boyfriend.

“What?” Katsuki asks, tilting his head in confusion. 

Your boyfriend bristles. “I was put on the spot.”

There is a beat of silence as everyone comes to terms with what has just been said.

Bakugou shakes his head and gently returns the wine glass to the table, quiet rage simmering in his eyes. His gaze flicks to you in awaiting permission, and when you tilt your head approving of whatever it is he is about to do, he smiles and turns his fangs towards your boyfriend. 

“Get up.” the order is soft, as not to make a scene, but there is a promise of violence in his tone. 

Your boyfriend makes no move to stand, so Katsuki repeats his order. When there is still no movement from the slug sitting across from him, Bakugou stands with a grace only acquired after years of training to win fights and reclasps the buttons of his jacket, ever the gentleman. Each step towards your boyfriend is fuelled by hate and indignation, and when he finally reaches him, Katsuki grips him by the scruff of the neck, much like a father does to their young son.

“You need to get up and leave before I take you outside.” Katsuki seethes, bending down to your boyfriend’s level.

“You-no-I..” your boyfriend scrambles, face blanching at the pro-hero before him.

“Nuh uh, I don’t want to hear anything from you.” The hand on your boyfriend’s neck tightens. “Get up and go home, pack your shit and leave. I don’t care where you go, but by the time Honey and I get home, you will be gone because I can make people like you disappear in a second, yeah?” 

Your boyfriend looks around at the table, hoping to find sympathy from the other heroes, but none comes. “I’m going to tell everyone you’re threatening me; you can’t do this!” 

“I’m not doing anything, and everyone here has seen me ask you to leave nicely; I’m even offering to get you an Uber since I know you don’t drive.” 

A chorus of acknowledgement of Bakugou’s charity rises from the table. You bite down on your cheeks to stop the smile tugging at your lips as you watch your now ex-boyfriend scramble for his coat, dread dragging down each movement. He turns to you, brows furrowed in fear and confusion, hoping to find comfort in someone he had disrespected time and time again, but instead, you just beam and bid him goodbye.

“Are you really gonna call him an Uber?” Denki pipes up. 

Katsuki scoffs. “No, he can walk home.” 

--

“What are ya’ working on?” Katsuki asks from beside you as you sit on the curb outside your apartment building. 

You had pulled up ten minutes ago but opted to stay out and talk, enjoying the warm spring breeze.

“Huh?” you turn to face your best friend.

“When I turned up, you and the girls were talking about you workin’ on something. Is there something at work or?” 

You blush at the question. 

“Ahh, well, I’m-“you grin. “Well, I’m working on you.” Your confession falls from your mouth before your brain can process it. 

“Me?” Bakugou’s brows stitch together. 

“yeah, I’m working on not killing you for paying for dinner and shit like that.” You rush to lie in order to cover your confession. “You always do that after I-“ 

Katsuki’s hands grabbing your cheeks stop your rambling, and then his lips are on yours. He cups your face with a gentleness unknown to you, finger hooking under your jaw to tilt your chin up as he kisses you. You melt into his mouth, opening as his tongue swipes across your bottom lip. Breathing becomes difficult as your hands grab at his waist, desperate to close the distance between your bodies, but he pulls back and leans his forehead against yours. 

“You’re such a bad liar, you know that?” his breathing is ragged. 

“I was hoping you didn’t catch on to that, but I’m so glad you did.” 

~ a/n: NOT PROOFREAD! goes a long with this. x ( just another lil drabble about how my ex was a piece of shit and for my birthday got me the flowers I hate. but then on valentine’s day my friend got me a bouquet of my favourite flowers so it couldn’t have been that hard, right)  updated version 2.0

[anashins]

The Right Kind of Wrong

Title: The Right Kind of Wrong

Pairing: Jaehyun x You

Genre: hate to love, cheating, college!au, friendship, romance, smut

Warnings: smut, cheating, cursing, toxicity

Word Count: 8.454

Summary: There are many reasons for you to hate Jung Jaehyun. Aside from being cocky and selfish, the fact that he is dating your best friend is another one of them. But his mesmerizing smile - to hell with it - just isn't.

____

There were at least a hundred things you hated about Jung Jaehyun.

The fact that he was dating your best friend was just one of them.

Not a single day had passed by in the last year in which she hadn’t complained about her boyfriend having flirted with another woman, having ditched her again, going to a party and ignoring her all night, or simply dragging her mood down by one of his unpredictable and hurtful actions.

Aside from being cocky, selfish, arrogant and reckless, Jung Jaehyun was absolutely incapable of being a decent human being for more than ten seconds, and you were wondering why he was so damn popular despite all his faults.

When you went out with your friend group, he mocked the boys trying to hit on you, telling you they were so desperate for that move. When you were attending the same class, he purposely sat down next to you to distract you from the lesson. When he was at your dorm, he kept moving your things onto high shelves, knowing you couldn’t reach them.

And his smirk everytime he did so… his smirk every time he mocked you was so annoying. But also so hot.

Fuck, you thought whenever his mischievious eyes met yours again, and you had to turn away, at a loss for words and afraid he’d caught you flushing. You were so ashamed, because you actually wanted to hate him.

There were many reasons for you to hate Jung Jaehyun, but his mesmerizing smile wasn't one of them.

You hadn’t hated him from the first moment that you two had officially met as you had gotten introduced to each other through your best friend who was also your dorm mate, though. She had found him on a dating app, and you had found him sitting in your class two days later, talking back to the professor.

Back then, you had started admiring his intelligence and courage. But those were the only two positive things you had spotted so far as you only tried to stay as far away from him as possible, emphasizing his negative character traits over and over again.

But the truth was that staying away from him was a very hard thing to do, and you fought every day for your sanity, trying to be a good friend and suppressing your controversial feelings for a man who was absolutely forbidden to you.

“He went drinking last night and I saw an instagram story of him grinding against another girl on the dancefloor!” your best friend complained in your arms, tears on the verge of flowing. “Who’s doing that even?!”

A few pairs of eyes turned into your direction, but when you threw fierce glances at the people staring at you, they passed by very quickly.

When you had been invited to your friend Johnny’s house party, you hadn’t expected to be spending the evening comforting your best friend, even though that had been your daily routine for the past three weeks.

It had grown toxicly usual for Jaehyun and her to fight in a two to three day rhythm over the smallest things, and although their wonky relationship or whatever it was hadn’t been very steady before with them breaking up nearly monthly, lately it had grown almost obnoxious.

“Why don’t you just break up with him?” you suggested again and immediately felt your heart sink.

It wasn’t like you wanted them to break up because you wanted Jaehyun for yourself. You’d never do that to her.

Your best friend was just constantly hurting, and it hurt you just as much when you saw her suffering so greatly. Jung Jaehyun wasn’t a good guy, and you both knew. Yet, she couldn’t let go of him. You knew exactly how that felt.

Even if they were to break up, he wouldn’t belong to you. Because a friend’s ex was a taboo. So having Jaehyun gone entirely from your lives would kill two birds with one stone.

“Not that again!” your friend whined and retreated from you, sinking into the couch with her arms crossed and no signs of tears anymore. “I can’t! I mean… look at him! He’s so hot, and don’t get me even started about his skills in bed. That’s where we usually make up, you know, so-”

“I’m going to get you something to drink!” you interrupted her and jumped up. “You totally need a cocktail now! To come to your senses!”

You loved your best friend dearly, but you didn’t want to hear about Jaehyun’s skills by all means. At some times, your friend didn’t have a filter, and then, it only spiraled downhill from there. You heard them often enough in the dorm, that was already pushing you to your limits.

When you entered the kitchen, you reached up to get a glass from the shelf, but like most of the times, you were too short for the remaining ones at the very top.

“Here, let me help you.”

A soft voice echoed from behind you, but before you could turn around to follow the tone, the guy had already heaved up his arm and reached over you to the very top of the shelf to get you a glass.

Shifting around, you faced the mischievous expression of the young man you had wanted to avoid and who your best friend was currently crying over.

Without a “thank you”, you reached out your hand to grab the glass from Jaehyun, but he immediately shot his arm up to bring the glass high over his head and far out of your reach.

“You think a simple ‘thank you’ is too much for you?”

“Fuck off, Jaehyun.” You crunched with your teeth and narrowed your eyes. “I’d rather die of thirst!”

“What did I do again?” He rolled his eyes in an annoyed manner as though his high spirits got ruined. “What did she tell you?”

“She told me everything she saw from last night!” you defended your friend. “That’s enough for me to get the picture!”

“Okay, and did the picture somehow include me pushing the girl away after she had grinded on me?”

You gulped.

“Just as I thought.”

He placed the glass on the counter, but somehow, this hadn’t got your both’s attention anymore.

“There are two sides of the same coin, yet all you've ever done was looking only at one.”

He approached you, and the rising hotness in your cheeks made you withdraw until your hips bumped into the kitchen counter.

Jaehyun leaned in and propped his arm against the same spot right next to your hip as he asked, “I know you’re her best friend, but being a friend doesn’t mean supporting your friends delusional, one sided thoughts into oblivion. Being a friend sure means to support, I’m not denying that. But being a true friend means to tell someone when they’re wrong. And I am not the one at fault here, y/n.”

“You were doing many stupid things to hurt her in the past!” you started blabbering just to bridge over the silence you’d get when you would stare at his mesmerizing eyes for a little longer. “How am I supposed to believe you?”

“You aren’t supposed to believe me.” He retreated, with the glass in his hand. “All I’m asking for is a chance to explain myself.”

Again, you were flabbergasted by the way he expressed his thoughts that stood in contrast to his questionable behavior. One of the main things that fascinated you. But you quickly turned this feeling into hate by recalling his wrongdoings from the night before.

Looking at the glass, Jaehyun continued, “Yes, there were many things I did wrong in the past. And I’m not going to pinpoint my finger at my girlfriend to tell that she was doing just as many questionable things as me. But people have reasons for doing the things they do. That’s probably why we’re such a good match.”

You didn’t understand a word. In your eyes, and you only knew about their relationship by what your friend told you and what you observed when you were hanging out, the two weren’t a good match at all.

He was the one constantly hurting her feelings, and she was the one to always get hurt.

Or... wasn’t it?

Jaehyun then thrusted the glass into your hand. “You’re lucky, y/n, you know that? It must be so great, living that freely, without any burdens… So oblivious to everything.”

With these words, he disappeared from the kitchen, leaving you behind all alone with the glass in your hand.

You looked at the item, your face getting reflected in the crystals to unrecognizability while Jaehyun’s words still kept you occupied. They had such an impact on you that you suddenly started to question whether your hate against him was actually valid.

When you stepped out of the kitchen yourself with a full glass of your best friend’s favorite cocktail in your hand, you found her in Jaehyun’s arms again, wildly kissing, his kind words suddenly vanished from your mind upon spotting them.

Instead, there was a little monster called jealousy sitting right inside your chest.

___

“8am in the morning! Who even places classes that early?!”

With a groan, Jaehyun flopped down in the seat next to you.

“Shut up, class is about to start.”

“Man, you must be really fun at parties,” he replied. “The professor is not even here yet.”

“You’re annoying, Jung Jaehyun, and if you weren’t dating my friend, I wouldn’t actually talk to you at all.”

“What are the odds we’re still connected to each other, huh! Tell me, y/n, what did I ever do to you? How did I ever hurt you? We’ve never even really spoken with each other ever since we’ve gotten introduced.”

“And I am grateful for this every single day.”

“What is it that you hate about me so much?” he questioned further, his eyes challenging.

But with your eyes straight ahead and no words on your lips, you ignored him as the professor entered the room only a short moment after, announcing the class’ start.

Your pen flew over the sheet, noting down the professor’s words when suddenly, goose bumps spread all over your arm.

When your eyes followed the trail to its source, your right elbow touched Jaehyun’s left one as a result of your hectic writing motions as you had moved too far to the side. The spot on your skin was so warm and so…

You withdrew your arm right away, placing it back to where it usually belonged, but Jaehyun’s own limb had moved so far to the left that you had no place to rest it next to your notes anymore without having his skin barely one inch apart from you. You weren’t touching anymore, but he was so close that you still felt him somehow.

Of course you could drop your arm and place it on your lap as the professor had stopped presenting the most important points of this lesson. Of course you could just move further away with your entire belongings, but the fact was that you didn’t. That you couldn’t.

Instead, you were fixating your eyes on the board right in front of you, listening to your professor’s words but not actually understanding a single syllable that he uttered as your heart beat fast against your chest.

You hoped that Jaehyun didn’t notice how desperate you were for him not to shift away right now. That you actually enjoyed it, but felt so much hatred at the same time. Not against him, but against you - for feeling this way.

“Can you answer my question, Miss y/n?”

Your eyes widened in shock as you got addressed by the professor by your surname. You were actually a good student who was always paying attention in class. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t have happened. But now you got caught red handed not listening to him, and he was a very strict lecturer.

“I… um…” you stuttered.

“The answer to my question, Miss.”

“Yes… the answer…” You gulped as you didn’t even know the question. “The answer is…”

From the corner of your eyes, you perceived how a sheet was slowly moving into your direction from Jaehyun’s place. His finger was pointed at a paragraph that you had also noted down only shortly before.

Suddenly, you knew what the question was about and answered formally to the professor’s task.

With your heart having calmed down after the shock, you let yourself sink down on your seat again. You had gotten distracted only once by something that shouldn’t bother you at all.

This wouldn’t happen again, you swore to yourself.

____

“No ‘thank you’ again from you?”

You turned around to Jaehyun who had rosen a brow at you. “Is this becoming your thing now? Asking for ‘thank yous’?”

“Is this becoming your thing now?” he returned. “Not saying ‘thank you’? I saved your ass in class.”

“Well, I haven’t asked for that, so go beg somewhere else for attention.”

You made your way through the crowded club, feelling the bass under your feet and the techno music in your ears. Jaehyun was following suit.

“Do you want some kind of reward from me? Because you’re not going to get it.”

“I don’t want a reward. Hey.”

He reached out and grabbed you by your arm, right there on the dancefloor. The feeling from this morning returned, but in a higher intensity as it spread all over your body.

“All I’m asking for is respect.”

You snorted. “Respect? Do you respect my friend when you destroy her weekend plans to go drinking with your friends instead? Do you respect my friend when you dance ass on ass with another girl? Do you respect my friend when you hurt her feelings with your rude words? I don’t like you, Jung Jaehyun, because you’re a bad person, and respect is the last thing you’ll ever get from me!”

You yanked yourself out from his grip and disappeared in the mass. What was up with him? Why was he bothering so much lately and evoking all these controversial feelings inside you by acting like this? He should just stay away.

With your eyes closed, you started to move with the music, all by yourself there on the dancefloor. You wanted to collect your thoughts, but as the music flooded through your body, you realized that thinking about nothing was probably the best way to cope with your inner struggles right now.

You opened your eyes widely when you suddenly felt a hand on your bum.

Turning around with much anger reflected in your mien, you stared at a boy around your age who grinned at you seductively. Your fierce gaze was probably mistaken for an invitation when he approached you further, grabbed you by your hips from the front and pressed you against him.

With his lips on your ear, he whispered, “I like what I see.”

And you wanted to scream. You probably did, but it got drowned out by the loud music, and his grip was way too hard for you to free yourself that easily as you shuffled in his arms.

“Let me go!”

Yet, his hands roamed around your private areas like they owned it.

“HEY!”

Before you could scream once more, the guy got dragged away from you by the last person you had expected it from.

“She said let go of her, you asshole!”

Jaehyun grabbed him by his collar, and his height and angry expression alone were probably enough for the other guy to nearly piss his pants as he hastily mouthed,

“I’m so sorry!”

When Jaehyun let go of him, he slipped off silently and wasn’t seen again.

You stood there awkwardly with your arms hugging your chest, still digesting the happenings.

“Did he hurt you?” Jaehyun asked when he leaned in for you to understand better.

You shook your head.

“Do you want to go outside?”

You nodded.

Jaehyun took you by your hand to lead you through the dancing crowd, and you didn’t protest.

This gesture was the total opposite to the disgusting one from the guy who had harassed you shortly before. This touch was raw and chaste. Nothing to be ashamed of and fight against, but something you wanted to accept wholeheartedly.

When you stood outside of the club, Jaehyun let go of your hand, and you finally whispered the words that he had been longing to hear for quite a time,

“Thank you.”

Against your expectations, he didn’t mock you or return witty words. With his eyes locked with yours, he sincerely told you,

“You’re welcome.”

That was the moment it dawned on you that Jung Jaehyun had more positive sides to him that you had always wanted to blend out. But perhaps, you had reached a point in which this wasn’t possible anymore.

You couldn’t continue keeping your eyes closed to all the kind sides of him. Because the more he showed you, the more you’d open your heart for him.

To you, Jung Jaehyun had to remain a bad person, otherwise you’d fall for him, and falling for your best friend’s boyfriend was a taboo.

“Hey, what are you two doing outside?!” Speaking of the devil, your best friend jumped out of the club’s door and into your direction. “Isn’t the music fun?”

Jaehyun looked at you, waiting for your reaction. You knew that if you wanted to go home, he’d follow. If you wanted to stay, he’d stay too, not letting you out of his sight. Because - and you couldn’t repeat this often enough - Jaehyun was actually a good person.

“I want to go home,” you decided. “You can stay, though! Please just let me be the party pooper all alone, I don’t want to spoil your night.”

“Oh, what a pity!” your friend said with a pout. “You always leave when the party is about to start!”

You shrugged with a weak smile, tired of fighting. “Yeah, I guess so. But I still have a lot of pages to revise.”

“Shall we take you back to the dorm?” Jaehyun offered in a caring voice that you apparently encountered for the first time, and your friend immediately shot a reproachful glare at him.

“Are you being serious right now?” she complained. “She’s a grown ass woman who can go home alone!”

His eyes hadn’t left yours. “I’m talking to her, not you.”

Had it always been like this? Her caring about herself more than about you? If it were the other way around, you wouldn’t let her go home alone in the middle of the night, no matter if you knew something had happened before or not.

Suddenly, you saw your best friend from a whole other perspective. Suddenly, she was the one having Jaehyun on a leash, and he was the one fighting back for his rights, not against her.

Two sides of the same coin… If you were to flip it, would your entire world view change?

For a moment, you hesitated. But not wanting to disturb your friend’s evening, you gave in with a, “It’s okay, I can go alone. Have a nice night!”

But Jaehyun held you back when he insisted on calling you an uber for which he even paid while your best friend continued pouting on the side.

____

“FUCK YOU, JAEHYUN!” you heard your best friend scream later that night from her room, every syllable of hers clearly to hear in your own room while you laid in bed later that night.

The hours before had passed by in a trance as you had only fallen onto your mattress face forward after having quickly changed into your pj’s, that was how much of a toll the day had taken on you.

You just wanted to forget what had happened in the club, but also the thoughts that had constantly been in your mind all the way home that only revolved around Jaehyun. So sleep was the best solution, and you would have gladly continued doing so if there weren’t your best friend and Jaehyun arguing loudly next to you for an hour already.

Then, Jaehyun seemed to return something to which she screamed again, “I DON’T FUCKING CARE!”

Stomping followed the brief silence, a door getting opened, then shut again, and footsteps moved into the direction of the entry door before it fell close behind Jaehyun.

This was a nearly weekly experience for you lately, and usually, you’d just miss hearing their arguments, but this time you couldn’t help but to wonder what they had been yelling about. You just hoped it wasn’t because of you and what had happened to you earlier, because in your eyes, Jaehyun had done nothing wrong.

He had been so incredibly nice and thoughtful that you started to doubt their relationship.

You turned in your bed, wanting to fight those thoughts so badly. Jaehyun was your best friend’s boyfriend, and hence, forbidden fruit for you. But you just couldn’t stop your imagination from running now.

What it would be like in your best friend’s place and get treated like this every day, and the worst part was that you didn’t even feel bad about betraying her in your mind.

Fuck, you only thought and sat straight up in bed, now surely not being able to grasp a light thought to accompaby you back to lseep anymore.

Feeling safe to leave your room ten minutes later as your roommate must have fallen asleep by now, you didn’t think about sleep anymore but wanted to get a glass of water from the kitchen to calm yourself down.

Perhaps, tomorrow, you’d have another look at the entire situation, you tried to convince yourself. After a few more hours of sleep, all these confusing thoughts and feelings might have already been forgotten.

“Cannot sleep yet?”

You turned around and found a half naked Jaehyun only dressed in boxers right in front of you. The empty glass of water in your hands got placed back on the counter with shaky fingers.

“What are you doing here?” you contered.

“Well… she suddenly left.” He shrugged. “We’ve been arguing. You sure haven’t missed that one.”

“I didn’t.”

Still, you were wondering what that was all about, but didn’t want to ask. He lifted the weight off your shoulders himself though.

“It was about you.”

“Oh…?” You gulped.

“When you were gone, I went back to that guy and didn’t let him go that easily. They threw me out of the club and your friend thought I'd ruined the night for her.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

You wanted to make your way around him, but he blocked your way as he didn’t move to make space for you to pass by the door.

“What’s making me a bad person, y/n?” Jaehyun suddenly asked. “ The way I saved you in class? In the club? Tell me.”

“You cannot be serious right now. It’s 5am, draw a number for another day.”

You wanted to slip under his stretched out arm, but he moved his body to block you again. “Number one. Now tell me.”

“Because those have been the only times you were nice to me, Jung Jaehyun!” You clenched your fists, breathing in deeply. “When we go out with our friend group, you mock the boys trying to hit on me, telling them they’re so desperate for that move!”

“Because I heard them speaking about you before,” he declared. “They were not looking for something serious but only fun, one had even placed a bet. I tried to spare you from this embarrassment and eventual lovesickness. Go on.”

“When we’re in the same class, you purposely sit down next to me to distract me from the lesson!”

This one let him smirk. “Because I always saw you sitting there alone. You have no friends in that class, and I thought you might need some company. Besides… I knew you couldn’t afford that book we needed, and I purposely always shoved it into your direction when the professor read from it. Have you never noticed?”

Now you have. And you were flabbergasted.

“Wh… when,” you stuttered, “you’re over here, you always move my stuff onto high shelves, knowing I cannot reach them!”

“Because I love to see the defeated look on your face and your cute pout when you have to ask me to get the things for you.”

You didn’t know what to say further as you stood there, frozen on the spot. You hadn’t seen this answer coming.

“Anything else?”

Yes, there were many things you hated him for, and you wanted to throw them all into his face, but as he was standing there in front of you, not even one more came into your mind.

“I just hate you to the core!” you hissed.

But with calmness in his voice, he only turned, “No, you don’t.”

And then, it was all only a blur.

You wanted to push him away, but instead, you found yourself nudging against his body. You wanted to free yourself from his grip, but instead, you wrapped your arms around him. You wanted to escape from his kiss, but instead, you kissed him back in the same passionate manner he kissed you.

Jaehyun’s hands roamed all over your lightly covered body while his lips moved against yours, touching every spot he had missed out on during the entire time he knew you, because you had always pushed him away.

But now that you had opened up to him, you were scared the time window was about to close very soon, so you had to work fast.

You jumped on him, hooking your thighs around his waist while his hands instantly clung around your buttocks to give you the support he needed to carry you to your bedroom. Your hands remained interlaced on the back of his neck when he placed you onto your bed and laid himself between your legs.

Thrown overboard were all your morals, priorities, and the friendship to the person that meant the world to you. You didn’t want to think about all that, but were longing for him so desperately that you wondered for how long you had been suppressing that desire already.

Jung Jaehyun was hot. But he was a bad person.

Or… wasn’t he?

You desperately ground upwards against him, feeling him growing between your legs, and you brought your hands down to massage his length. Jaehyun interrupted your kiss as he hadn’t expected this move to come, and groaned into your ear.

You smirked triumphantly, your hands kneading muscles until he was pressed hard against your palms. Tucking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, you slid the garment from his hips, revealing his bum. Your hands glided along his curvy, soft mounds, grabbing into them like you were testing ripe peaches.

Jaehyun was pecking your lips as you slid your hands under his body again and closed around his entire girth. He stopped for a moment, but the second he continued on, you started moving your hands, top on top, along his length.

Not being able to concentrate on the feeling down there and kissing you simultaneously anymore, you perceived how Jaehyun got weak with supporting his body on his own arms that he had rested to the left and right of your head. So you decided to take the lead from here on.

Sitting up yourself, you put your palms on Jaehyun’s chest and pushed him backwards onto the mattress. He watched you with surprised eyes, but didn’t protest as you sat on his thighs, eyeing his member with much anticipation.

You slid further down his legs, nearly close to his ankles, and bowed down. With your fingers wrapped around the base of his dick, you led him to your mouth. First letting the tip pass by your lips, then his entire length up until the very middle.

You only heard him swearing, “fucking shit,” before Jaehyun covered his face with his arm placed over his eyes and his other clasping the sheet by his side. Your hair grazed over the area around his navel while you moved your head up and down, cautiously slow at first to give yourself time to adapt to his length.

Then, you started bobbing your head, increasing the speed with every time you came up and nearly let him slip out, your fingers that had closed around him sliding in the same rhythm, adding to the pleasure. The slurping noises that came along with this act filled the room until they got drowned out by Jaehyun’s moans.

He directed his hand towards your head and grabbed it by the back, ruffling your hair between his fingers while he started to thrust upwards, meeting you halfway in the fast motions. Like this, he was able to reach deep within you, but still not far enough so that he could hurt you.

When you witnessed him twitching his legs, you stopped, held him still by the base and decided to tease him further a bit before you allowed him to release himself. With the tip of your tongue, you touched his glans, trailed along the slip and then circled around the entire top part.

Jaehyun’s swearing words came in a never ending trail like a waterfall that you couldn’t really understand all syllables from, but you were sure you did a good job and rewarded him for being patient with the motions from before again, but this time with added pressure and passion.

Suddenly, he grabbed you by your arm, urging you to stop.

“Or else I’m gonna cum,” he said and sat himself up, flipping you around so that you laid under him again.

Hastily, you got rid of your top while Jaehyun worked on your sleeping shorts until shortly after, you were both lying naked on top of each other. You wanted him desperately inside you, because you just didn’t know when you’ve had had sex the last time, but instead of wanting to get through this fast, Jaehyun took his time.

That was when you realized that this entire joining was probably more to him than just sex to get it off. You had thought that because he hadn’t been able to get it tonight from your best friend, he’d take it from you. But the way he touched you insisted otherwise.

If it wasn’t more than just sex, he wouldn’t trail his fingers over your ribcage in feathery-light motions, admiring every inch of your body. If it wasn’t more than a body-focused act, he wouldn’t place soft kisses not only on your mouth, but also onto your forehead, your cheek, your neck… If it wasn’t more, Jaehyun wouldn’t be so damn thoughtful and tender.

He remained his tenderness and his gaze didn’t leave your eyes as well when he finally nudged between your thighs, pushing forward until he filled you up to the brim.

Restraining himself from starting to move right away, Jaehyun took his time to ask you whether you were okay at first when you let out a quiet “oh” that alarmed him. But you were eager to calm him down when you explained that it was only because you hadn’t been with a man in so long, and somehow, after speaking it out, it made you feel embarrassed.

As the boyfriend of your best friend, he’d surely know when you had been in contact with a man the last time, and you hated yourself for being so pressured by society to feel ashamed of who you were and how you lived your life.

But instead of judging you, Jaehyun only nodded and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, and suddenly, you were flooded with such a warm feeling towards him that you nearly cried. Rarely had you encountered a man so considerate and caring.

“Tell me when I can go on.”

You bit your lip and felt the uncomfortable pressure in your nether regions getting replaced by a feeling that you hadn’t encountered in so long. A feeling that made you want more, want him.

Holding onto his shoulders with both of your hands, you nodded back at him with a smile which he then returned. When Jaehyun started thrusting in and out of you, your eye contact didn’t break, and you were sure that right now, you were looking at the real Jaehyun at this very moment.

Not the guy you hated. Not the guy your best friend was dating. But instead the person who wanted to protect you from guys that only wanted to use you. A person who offered you company in class and shared his equipment with you. And a person whose cheekiness and affection he showed through childish acts because he didn’t know how to express his feelings otherwise.

This was not the person you were sure of knowing all along. Probably because you hadn’t even gotten to know him in the first place.

One arm now clung around his neck while with the other, you grabbed the pillow beside you. You threw your head back in excitement, his pushes coming in short intervals one after another, and he was hitting all the right spots with them.

Jaehyun propped his arms up to the left and right of him, lifting his upper body to gather all his strength in his groin area and stopped for a brief moment before he thrusted inside you with such force that it nearly knocked all air out of your lungs, and you couldn’t respond with anything else than moaning.

It felt so good, so… right. But how could something so wrong still feel so right?

Right now, you didn’t hate Jaehyun or your best friend the most, but yourself and the fact that you continued on and on. That you brought your hips up to meet his thrusts with hazy thoughts and his lips all over yours when he slowed down with his movements to dedicate himself to caressing your breasts.

You felt Jaehyun’s hot tongue swirling over your buds, and you shook under him. Not because it felt cold, but because his tender caresses just felt so good. You didn’t have the feeling that he could do anything wrong with whatever he carried out, that was your impression about how well your bodies meshed together.

No, you didn’t hate Jaehyun. You had always only hated how he had presented himself to you. But there was so much more to him.

Sweat droplets showed on his forehead when he continued with the hard thrusts again, the sound of you both breathing heavily mixing together with the sloppy noises of your bodies moving against each other filling the room, but no matter how messy sex was, it was the most romantic thing you had experienced in a long time.

Your eye contact also didn’t break when Jaehyun arose above you, his sweaty chest glistening in the dim light that shone through your windows, and increased his pace even more. When he dropped his head and bit his lip in the process, you wrapped your arms around him and added pressure to your nether regions as you felt him approaching his heights.

It felt very good to you too, but you were by any means not as far as him yet, so you didn’t blame him when he came only a short moment after with a groan that sounded sexy as hell to you.

You held him tightly when he fell limply onto your chest, still breathing heavily from the orgasm that slowly faded. Staring at the ceiling, you smiled with him in your arms, just enjoying the moment when Jaehyun moved away from you.

“We’re not done here yet,” you saw him grin as he laid himself next to you, rolled onto the side and placed his head in his palms as he propped his elbow against the mattress.

You wondered what was to come when you felt his finger tips dragging from your thighs to your navel, then lower again and stopped right at your most sensitive spot.

“Oh!” you let out as he placed two fingers on your folds and started moving them up and down with your remaining juices as lube that made the intense feeling kick in almost immediately.

You screamed when he added pressure and now directed circling motions around the sensitive bundle of nerves. From your half-closed eyes, you witnessed him looking at you with such admiration but also cheekiness as you writhed and wreathed under him, yet spread your legs even wider as release was so close.

Jaehyun leaned in to you, his fingers not letting go of the continuity as he half covered your body with his and just kissed you passionately. Like this, he encountered first hand how the orgasm took over you, and you moaned into his mouth, riding it out against his hand.

It felt like the most natural thing in the world when he wrapped his arms around you right after and pulled you onto his chest, and you drifted off into a slumber shortly after.

Even though the first tendencies of your bad consciousness set in before you closed your eyes, you decided that this would be the problem of tomorrow.

No, you didn’t hate Jung Jaehyun.

If anything, you should probably hate yourself.

___

“YES… YES… YESYESYES, OHMYGOD!”

You heard your friend from the other side of the wall, having rudely awakened you in the early morning hours. At least you thought so. But a glimpse at your phone through sleepy eyes told you that it was past 11am already.

Within a second, you were wide awake.

You were still naked, but the clothes on your floor only belonged to you, and the spot next to you in the bed was empty.

“OH!MY!GOD!.... YES! OH… OH.... AAAAH… OHOHOH… YES!!”

Jaehyun was gone. At least from your room.

Your best friend’s headboard constantly bumped against the wall, and you grabbed your pillow to cover your ears with it. You didn’t want to hear the sounds. Not because they stole your sleep, but because somehow, for the first time, you didn’t feel disturbed by the noise, but actually hurt.

In your mind, you imagined Jaehyun’s mesmerizing smile, the witty expression he was constantly wearing and his deep voice that had showed you for the first time last night that there was a certain softness within it.

You felt hurt, because you knew all the things from last night had been real between you two, yet he was still fucking your best friend mere hours later. What you had shared and felt had been special, yet he was still with her.

And suddenly, you felt hate again. But towards yourself. For betraying your best friend with him. But first and foremost, for betraying yourself.

You had never hated Jung Jaehyun.

You had always felt some certain kind of attraction towards him, but kept telling yourself you hated him to push him as far away from you as possible. If this wouldn’t be so wrong under these circumstances, this attraction would feel right and could blossom. But like this, you could never come to enjoy this feeling entirely.

Your relationship had been doomed from the very start, because given the wicked circumstances, you would never be able to form a healthy relationship. It was like a stain that would never vanish on a white sheet.

So you just decided to continue as usual. To keep this a secret between the both of you and just to carry on with your life.

And to hate Jung Jaehyun just a little more.

You just didn’t know how to feel and act towards your best friend without feeling so much… regret.

“Good morning.”

But the young man stepping out of your best friend’s room wasn’t Jaehyun. But Johnny.

You sat there in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, your mouth agape. And then it started to rattle in your head.

Lately, there were times when your best friend had screamed the name “Jaehyun!” loudly during the act. Those were the times you had actually seen him the next morning. But the nights she hadn’t screamed a certain name, no one had ever come out. And those times, you had counted more than the ones with Jaehyun in the past weeks, just when their loud arguments started on a nearly daily basis.

“Where’s Jaehyun?” you asked without greeting her good morning as you walked into her room.

“Oh, we had a fight last night,” she explained to you while getting herself dressed casually. “And then we broke up. I went away to be with Johnny after throwing him out, and we’ve only gotten back this morning. I hope he left last night already and didn’t stay here.”

“What?” you wondered.

“Yeah.” She shrugged. “I’ll get over it.”

“You actually already got over it as I’ve seen!”

“Oh, Johnny?”

“You’ve been fucking him for weeks already?” you provoked.

She shrugged again. “Perhaps a month… So what?”

You stood there, totally lost for words. “You’ve been crying about Jaehyun to me ever since you got together! That he flirted with other women, ditched you, went to parties and ignored you! And now you’re telling me you’ve been cheating on him for quite a while?! And this instagram story drama from last week?”

She sighed and flopped down onto the bed. “Okay, admittedly, I’m not an angel in this story, but he is by far neither! He was not. There were many things he has done wrong in the past. But then he actually started… doing nothing wrong. Being the picture perfect boyfriend without all these flaws and drama. And perhaps, this is not something that I want, so I started to look around elsewhere.”

“So…” You paused, still processing the shock. “Was it all an act? All the times you’ve cried to me over him lately while cheating behind his back?”

“Not an act, precisely,” she said reluctantly. “Yes, he explained every situation to me. And I was being dramatic over it for nothing, perhaps. I don’t know… I still enjoyed being with him though, but it just didn’t feel right anymore. I want to have men just… telling me I’m right, always coming back to me… what’s a relationship without fire? But Jaehyun didn’t want to do this anymore.”

In your head, you recalled everything that Jaehyun had told you. About there being two sides of the same coin, about you being so oblivious. All this time, he knew that she had cheated on him. He knew what you thought of him, yet he had never made a move to ever explain it to you.

But why?

“As he should,” you then stated. “How you treated him was awful!”

“Only because I cheated on him a few times?” she chuckled. “Come on!”

“I’m your best friend, and yet you lied to me! You twisted and turned stories so that you’d always be the one at right! But the truth is, you’re the bad person here. Not him.”

“Now what? He’s gone from our lives. Don’t care about him.”

But the truth was, you did. Now more than about her.

That was why, an hour later, you found yourself in front of his dorm. When he opened shortly after you had knocked, you stared at him, still gasping for air as you had run the entire way here, with all the memories from last night coming back with each step.

“She’s been cheating on you,” were the only words you brought out.

“I know.”

“For how long?” you asked.

“I assume for just as long.”

You breathed in heavily, not understanding a word. “But why did you stay with her?”

Jaehyun smiled meekly. “Because I don’t think I deserve a good person like you are.”

It ran hot and cold down your back. “I… I don’t understand.”

He leaned against the door frame with crossed arms, and even though he seemed uncomfortable talking about his feelings, he still did.

“I haven’t been the best boyfriend for her most times in this relationship, I admit this openly. We weren’t really good for each other and it destroyed me to the point that I wanted to change. But when I started being the boyfriend she had wished for, it wasn’t right either and she started cheating. So I just settled with it. Because I thought I screwed up to that point where I won’t be able to make anyone happy anymore and also don’t deserve the same in return. Even though I only wanted you...”

“You douche!” You stomped with your feet on the ground.

“What?” he returned perplexed with furrowed brows.

“Everyone deserves love and to love! And you’re not different from anyone else!”

His confusion got replaced with a mild smile. “You’re so kind, y/n. That’s one of the things I like the most about you. But you’re also oblivious.”

Jaehyun pulled out his phone, scrolled through his messenger and started playing a voice message from a very familiar person.

“Why do you even care about this bitch, Jaehyun?!” In the background, you heard music and other people talking. “She’s a stupid nerd, and I’ve only befriended her because she helps me studying and listens to my complains since we’re dorm mates, so don’t even waste a single thought about this party pooper!”

You stood there as though you had been rendered motionless. Your heart had dropped to your feet.

“This is from last night when I quickly went outside again to check whether you rode away safely with your uber and she couldn’t find me directly. That’s why we argued and broke up. No, it’s not the first time she’s talked about you like this.” He put his phone away. “I thought letting you hate me would make it easier for a kind person like you to keep their distance from someone like me. Because, in the end, I will only hurt you too. But the more I started to genuinely like you, the more I felt protective towards you. I couldn’t see her speaking about you like this anymore.”

Your breathing came in hitches as your whole world suddenly crashed over you. Your best friend wasn’t your best friend. She had probably never been.

You stumbled backwards, and Jaehyun stepped forward to grab you by your arm, but you pulled it away.

“I…. I just…” you stuttered. “I have to… talk to her.”

“Sure.”

The whole way home, you only cried.

Not over Jaehyun, but over the betrayal of someone you had considered your best friend, yet had hurt you in the most painful way like no man ever could. And the fact that you had been an asshole to her to the same extent after having slept with her boyfriend the same night they had broken up was probably the final straw.

You were no saint here. You had added to your both’s downfall just as much. And it hurt much more than any heartbreak you had experienced so far.

You had to sort your life out and right now, and amongst this chaos there was no place for Jaehyun in your life.

____

You put the last vase with dried flowers on your shelf, stepped backwards to your room’s door and inspected the final set up.

“Finished!” you praised yourself.

It had taken you three months to move to a new dorm, but this was your last step to a new chapter in your life.

You hadn’t had contact with your former best friend ever since your final conversation in which you had handed the keys over to her. The many conversations before had only consisted of screams, accusations and tears.

She had admitted to saying all those things about you, but also to genuinely have come like you. You weren’t so sure whether that was real or one of her lies again. You had admitted to sleeping with Jaehyun, and she would have forgiven you for that as she hadn’t been really in love with him anymore at this point, but you were sure you didn’t want either in your life anymore.

Your best friend because she had hurt you deeply, and Jaehyun because of your burdensome history. All of you had done so many wrong things, and you were only a bundle of toxic people together, so chaotic that you were better off apart from each other.

But you didn’t want to be this toxic kind of person anymore. So you moved out and left your old life behind.

You didn’t go to that class with Jaehyun anymore, and although you missed him, the touches of your joint night still present on your skin sometimes, you wanted to move on from even the mere imaginations of him as well. You were sure that you’d find a guy just like him, but you missed him wherever you went and couldn’t help but ask yourself “what if?”

The fact that he hadn’t reached out to you either made it easier, and as summer break came and passed, and the new semester started, you had kissed two news guys already, made a new friend group and were just overall happy.

But you still missed Jaehyun dearly and all the possibilities of what could have happened if only your timing had been right in life. Even if he wasn’t the right one for you.

“Is this seat taken?”

And then, one day, there he was again. Taking the seat next to you as though no time had ever passed between the two of you, smiling that mesmerizing smile you didn’t hate.

You only stared at him, and his kind expression didn’t break. When you moved your head to the front again where the professor introduced himself, you couldn’t help but to smile too. Because this wasn’t the expression of a bad person.

People changed, and just like good traits could turn into bad traits, a bad person could turn into a good one also. And they all deserved a second chance.

You had only known the Jaehyun from your best friend’s perspective, and then also his body. But even though you had gotten a glimpse of the real Jaehyun here and there, you didn’t quite know him entirely yet.

But you wanted to. The good, the bad, the real. Jaehyun wasn’t the right one for you, but such a thing didn’t exist. What mattered were only your feelings.

Because in fact, you didn’t hate Jung Jaehyun. At all.

[bratkook]

like you used to. jjk

“So kill me like you used to...”

part two.

pairing. ex boyfriend!jungkook x reader genre. angst, mentions of smut, toxic exes warnings. very toxic depictions of relationships, hints at infidelity, drunken mistakes, they’re both very toxic for each other and just can’t stay away, brief mentions of smut word count. 2.9k note. this is just a lump of angst that my mind conjured at 1am last night, i just love angst and messy relationships that are destined to fail 😌(its not edited so if u see a typo no u dont)

It always started with a phone call. 

Whether it was from you or him always changed. Sometimes he’d get the call at two in the morning, vision blurry as he brought the phone to his face and saw your name illuminated on the screen, that old goofy selfie you had together still set as your contact photo. He’d hesitate for a moment just to keep you on your toes before pressing accept, already getting up and putting pants on because he knew just what you were calling for. 

Tonight was your turn to be on the receiving end, laying in bed comfortably as you scrolled through random posts to try to help you sleep, the flash of his face fills your phone, it’s a random close up photo of his eyes staring right into the camera, crinkled up in a smile. Even though his name is changed in your contacts, no longer having the cute bunny emoji tacked to the end, you know you’ll still pick up in a heartbeat. And you do. 

The second you press accept you’re met with the familiar sound of his voice, slurred and thick as he speaks so jumbled up you would barely be able to understand him if you didn’t already know what he was saying. It was the same things he always said whenever he got like this, proclamations of love that only cut up your freshly scabbed over wounds, salt rubbing into them when he cries about how he misses you, promises to change. 

They get cut off when the phone is yanked away from his grasp, the second familiar voice belonging to his buddy Yugyeom now speaking into the receiver. “You gotta pick him up Y/N.”

The annoyance is evident in his voice, the babbling of Jungkook still heard in the background along with the dull beat of whatever place they were outside of. 

“He’s not my responsibility Yugyeom.”

He simply sighs into the phone, staring at his mess of a friend before rubbing his jaw, sore and aching from where he had just been socked after attempting to force him into an uber. “Yeah well he won’t let anyone else take him home, he’s drunk as fuck. I’ll send you the location.”

Not waiting for a response he hangs up and sends you a pin of where they’re at, thrusting the phone back into his friend’s hands before getting into that uber and leaving Jungkook alone while he whines against the dirty bar wall, crouching down onto the filthy sidewalk as the car drove off. 

Yugyeom knew you would come to his rescue like you always did, never once saying no and letting Jungkook fend for himself because on the rare occasions where you’d call him drunk and crying he’d do the same. 

Getting into the car still dressed in your pajamas, shoes thrown on without being laced up, hair still messy, it felt like routine now from how often it happened. Jungkook called you sober, text you while in a sane state of mind, but without fail at least once a month he’d get absolutely shit faced and call you, leaving you what he thought were heartfelt voicemails if by some chance you didn’t answer. 

It was the same bar every time, a bar you used to frequent with him, knowing the location and all the small side streets to get you there without needing directions. Doing this felt like such a normal part of your life it almost made you forget that you and Jungkook weren’t together anymore. It’s been a year since you split and you still find yourself thinking if things could be different. 

Would it have been best if you never confessed to each other, never admitted to the small inkling of a crush before it was able to fully blossom? It was hard not to wonder how different life would be now if you had walked away the first time things went south, if he had walked away after the first argument. 

Whenever he called you, pulled you in with those drunken promises it was easy to convince yourself that your relationship was perfect, that it was worth all of the struggles. Your brain morphed each fight, each time you cried alone, twisted it around and molded it to make it easier to consume, easier to believe you were meant to be. 

You thought you were soulmates, and maybe you were, two people destined to be together, meeting at the wrong time, under the wrong circumstances. What was meant to be perfect puzzle pieces connected had slowly turned into jagged edges that no longer clicked regardless of how hard you tried to jam them together, foolishly thinking you could spill your love into the gaps to mend the spaces, making the pieces whole once more. 

Love was never enough. 

Love made you stupid, made you blind and gullible, smiling through lies to avoid arguments, going to bed angry until he was hovering over you, coaxing you into forgiveness with soft kisses and gentle touches. It always went this way, regardless of who’s fault it was without fail he’d end up slot between your legs, the only time the puzzle pieces connected perfectly, allowing him to fuck you as if he’d never see you again. Murmurs of love and adoration were passed between panting breaths, sloppy kisses, shared moans to mask the empty promises you made every time.

Staying away from each other was a hard habit to kick, the two of you stuck on an endless game of seesaw, neither of you having the guts to get off and move on. All it took was a simple drunk phone call for you to go his way, the slur of his voice as he cries into the receiver about how much he loved you, missed you, needed you next to him, wanted to try again. It reeled you in so easily, winding you up until you were hauling your sloppy ex boyfriend off the dirty floor and into your small car. 

He remembers none of this, he never did, not fully anyways. Small tidbits of words he said flash in his mind as he comes to, drool on his cheek and neck sore from the unfortunate position he had slept in, groggy and unaware of his surroundings. 

He knew your apartment too well, recognized the green wall he had helped you paint, now holding endless pictures of you and your friends. None of Jungkook anymore. 

All of those photos were gone now, not burned or shredded in some ritual to get over him, simply tucked into a box and shoved so far into your closet you hoped you would forget it. You never did of course, the way the box laid dust free made it clear how often you pulled it out and sorted through the photos whenever you had too much wine, whenever you had off days where you just felt so alone and wished you could go back to the times you had convinced yourself were better. They weren’t, you knew they weren’t once you sobered up and balanced out your emotions.

Jungkook doesn’t feel bothered that not a trace of him remained visible in your home, he knew his presence lingered in the cracks, buried so deep in the crevices of your mind he knew you would always think of him. 

He groans softly as his eyes roam the interior of your home, the throbbing in his temples making him stop and shut his lids, not needing to analyze the place he was at less than two weeks ago when you had called him over. Jungkook briefly wonders if he should sneak his way out, not used to waking up on the couch instead of in your bed right beside you, maybe he had said something last night that crossed the line and landed him on the couch as a punishment. 

As you finally emerge from your room his plan of escape is put to a stop, his eyes gravitating towards your bedroom door, seeing the way you cautiously step out. Having heard Jungkook wake up since you had already been awake for the past hour, your body not allowing you to sleep while knowing he was in the other room, it took a few minutes of courage before you were able to face him. 

Spotting him on your couch shows how much he doesn’t belong, the pinned leather jacket he wore looking so harsh against the light coloring of your furniture, his dark disheveled hair contrasting with the tidy way you organized your apartment. He senses it, the skin crawling sensation that spreads the longer you stare at him, how he felt so out of place somewhere he used to call home at one point. 

“Thank you for picking me up.” He chooses to break the silence, voice raspy, his internal self screaming at him for always doing this. His eyes are sincere, genuinely meaning it, knowing just how messy he got when he had too much to drink, how his friends could never handle him when he crossed the line and began to call for you. 

Like always his words were routine so he expects it when you huff and say, “You need better friends Jungkook.”

“I know.” Because he did, he knew his friends enabled him, riled him up and once he became too much they pushed him onto you, knowing Jungkook’s grip on you was still too strong for you to ever say no. 

“What if I hadn’t picked you up? Would they have left you on the side of the bar to fend for yourself?”

“Probably,” he shrugs, from past experiences he knows very well they would have. His friends had dealt with Jungkook crying over you far too much, their patience fully stamped out, no longer able to tolerate him when he became like this. 

Not even realizing when he begins to smile as he thought of the nights you didn’t pick up, how he had ended up in the most random locations because he refused to go home to a place you weren’t, he snaps out of it when you scoff. “It’s not funny Jungkook, you could have gotten hurt or something.”

There it was, the reason you were upset. Not because he had called you and spewed the same bullshit he always did, no that you could tolerate. You were upset, and worried, that you’d get a following call from someone stating he had injured himself while calling for you. 

“I know.”

You pause to breathe, his short responses not irking you like it should, arms crossed over your chest as you observe your ex boyfriend still sitting on the couch, looking like a scolded child. 

“You can’t call me anymore Jungkook.” How you have the nerve to say that to him is funny, acting as if ten days ago you weren’t the one doing this to him, telling him you missed him, securing your anchor around his foot and dragging him back under with you. 

This is the checklist you needed to go down, a formality of the morning after so he doesn’t mind it. Instead he frowns at the way you continue to say his name, the way it rolls off your tongue makes him wince, missing the way you’d call him Kookie, playful pet names like Bunny, something he swore he hated but secretly loved. Jungkook wished he could hear you say it again, humor you with that damned bunny eared headband he’d wear to hear you laugh, squeal as he posed and dance for whatever silly video you recorded as you shouted out the ridiculous nickname. 

The last time he heard those words spill out of your mouth had been too long ago. 

“I’m sorry.” he admits, he knew he had to stop, couldn’t continue to hold onto the past, knowing how wrong you were for each other but he wasn’t the only one. Those were the same words you told him ten days ago, apologizing with guilty eyes for asking him to come over when you were lonely, needing a familiar body to occupy the space next to you, wanting his hands to soothe you, make you feel whole again just for a night. 

Once the sun came up it was back to normal, the two of you having the repeat conversation you had every time, the exact one you were having now. A formality. Nothing more, just mindless words that you would both agree to just to move along, to make you both feel better, more secure with yourself until the next time the phone rang. 

Your heart twists in your chest as you look at him, the same toxic love you had for him brewing in your heart, spilling over and burning you but you ignore the pain, convince yourself you don’t feel it as you breathe in. That same rope latches around Jungkook’s ankle as you avert your eyes for a brief second before looking back at him with a small sigh. “Do you want breakfast? I know how you get when you have a hangover.”

He smiles for the first time, charming as always, looking up at you through the subtle waves in his hair. “I probably shouldn’t.”

You know this. He definitely shouldn’t because breakfast will turn into words exchanged, civil at first, flirty the next, a coin flipped to decide if a petty argument would begin or if you’d reminisce about the good times. Regardless of the outcome, what always followed ended with you moaning out his name as he rocked into you, those same empty promises spilling through his lips that you swallowed with a kiss. 

A brief moment of bliss, a small dose of the past that only serves to hurt you further but you crave it, loving the small rush that came with arguing, the roughness of his hands as he pushed you around before sliding home, burying his face into your neck as he broke you down all over again. 

Normally you’d try to convince him further, but as your mouth opens to protest you get flashes of the night before, how you had carried Jungkook up your flight of stairs, hearing him ramble about nonsense so slurred together you paid it no mind. You would have had him sleep in your bed beside you like you always did but when you fish his phone out and begin to slide his jacket off it buzzes to life. 

Always being nosey you type in his password, smiling when you realize it was still your old anniversary but when you unlock it and see a flood of messages from a girl named Natalie, calling him babe, asking where he was, the smile falls from your face as you start to snoop. 

It doesn’t take much scrolling through their thread of messages to easily discover she was his girlfriend, blissfully unaware that he was shit faced and calling you, confessing to his love for you while she laid at home and wondered if he was having fun with his friends. She reminded you of yourself, of the way you used to be with him and it left a sour feeling on your tongue. 

“Yeah you probably shouldn’t.” 

He stands up now, following you slowly as you approach the door, heavy boots thumping on the hardwood as he reluctantly steps closer to the exit. He doesn’t want to leave, wants you to try to convince him to stay, not knowing that you knew the dirty secret he was hiding buried in his phone. 

You don’t decide to tell him you know, it was pointless. That was just how Jungkook was wired, so much love to give he had to spread it out, give everyone a fair share of it, choosing to pretend he wasn’t being selfish. It was naive to believe it, to think all the love he held was strictly for you, it was why he was able to pull the hood over your eyes so easily. 

Even when you pull the door open and give him a tightlipped smile he knows you’ll still call him, forget all about Natalie when you’re lonely once more. So when you look him in the eyes and sigh, “Goodbye Jungkook.” He knows it’s not for long, maybe a week or so, maybe less. 

He simply smiles, stuffing his hands into his jeans as he shuffles out, turning to face you as he steps backwards. “See you later Y/N.” And his words sting in a way he doesn’t mean, knowing just how right he was. 

Jungkook would never mind how heavy the anchor you hooked on his ankle was because he knew you would forever be a sucker for him. 

As you shut the door behind you it feels like a small weight starts to hang from your shoulders, the same tug starting from your chest, guiding you into your room until you’re pulling out the cursed box and sorting through those damned photos. With stinging eyes you flip through them for a moment, focusing on all the laughs captured on film, blurry vision moving to your phone beside you, hands already itching to call him again. 

It’s as if he knows, still inside your building, lingering in the lobby to give you a moment and it doesn’t take long. Once his phone starts to vibrate he smiles, staring at the photo of you as you call him like clockwork. With a clear of his throat he answers the phone, barely saying hello before he hears a small sniffle through the speaker. 

“I miss you Kookie.” 

Jungkook lets his eyes shut as he presses the elevator button, loving the feeling of being needed by you, already knowing to head back up because this was routine. 

“I know you do baby, I’ll be right up.”

And just like that you’re once again desperately trying to make those stupid puzzle pieces fit together, hoping that maybe this time love would be enough.

[psychedellic-phase]

Princess (smut)

A/N: I feel like this is definitely out of character but it literally would not leave my brain. also yes they are so toxic !!! I binge wrote this at 1 am so I hope you enjoyyy

tw: arguing, cursing SMUT! Oral (male receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, cheating & toxic relationships.

word count: 4.6 k 

masterlist

It was Thursday. I knew I’d find him where he usually is on Thursdays: that corner table at O’Malley’s, the one below the neon ‘Corona’ sign. 

I went most Thursdays, when I could, and sat at a table across the bar. It was the perfect place to watch him have two whiskeys, neat, and go home alone. 

He hadn’t noticed me yet. It’s not like I looked different, I still looked like me but he looked better and better every time I saw him. 

Was it weird to watch my ex-boyfriend that I swear I’m over from across a bar? Yes. Do I have a loving boyfriend at home waiting for me to come home every Thursday? Yes. Am I lying to this boyfriend? Yes. Am I completely over my ex like I say I am? Clearly not. Am I completely insane? Definitely. 

It’s not my fault though, Spencer Reid just had to be all consuming. Addicting. Intoxicating. A human black hole who I’d happily fall back into any given day, but he couldn’t know that. It would just feel his already overinflated ego. He could never know about how all my thoughts revolve around him. Maybe he isn’t a black hole, maybe he’s the sun, and I’m just a planet spinning around him. 

Every Thursday I tried to get up the nerve to go say Hi. And every Thursday I managed to get up the nerve the second he paid his tab and left. 

But today, that was going to change. I was going to do it, just say Hi. It shouldn’t have been scary, I did spend six months of my life with him. He knows me, much better than I’d like to admit, and I know him. But he always knew how to make me twitch. The man could make me nervous, and men never make me nervous. No one ever makes me nervous. 

I watched him as he sat, his hair longer than it had been when we were together. His suit looked the same, so did the gray cardigan and maroon tie. I vaguely remember having that exact tie around my wrists one night. He used his beautiful fingers to trace the rim of his cup, his brown hair covering his eyes lightly. His eyes, brown but hazel, like a golden green, with beautiful eyelashes I was always jealous of. They’re so long, he looks like he has mascara on.

Wait his eyes. 

Eyes?

Shit. 

I had made direct eye contact with him. 

He saw me. 

I saw him. 

Fuck. 

And now he’s walking. Towards me. Shit. Shit. Shit. 

Here he is, right in front of me. God he’s so hot.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I just stared at him. He slid the chair across from me from out under the table without asking permission. He sat in it, whiskey in hand.

“So what exactly have you been doing here every Thursday for the last eight Thursdays, Y/N?”

I blushed lightly, but kept my composure. He knew how to make me nervous but I knew how to make him sweat. 

“O’Malley’s makes the best cosmos in DC.”

He shifted in his seat, fingers drumming on the table, “It’s a mediocre cosmo at best. You’re here for me. So here I am.”

I sat up in my seat, “Mediocre cosmo, and mediocre company.”

“Mediocre?” He chuckled darkly, “If I’m so mediocre then why have you been watching me?”

Of course he figured me out, he’s a goddamn FBI agent. God I was stupid sometimes, but only with him. It’s like every time he spoke, half of my brain flew out of my head. 

“Honestly, there isn’t much else to look at around here,” I gestured around the dingy bar, “And also, it’s been way longer than eight Thursdays. You should brush up on those observation skills, Dr. Profiler.”

His eyes darkened, “You never answered my question, Princess.”

I shuddered at the use of that nickname. I hadn’t heard it from him in a while, I just hoped he couldn’t see the effect it had on me. I evaded the question again, “The better question is why do you come here alone each week like clockwork?”

He shrugged, “Because you’re here every Thursday like clockwork.”

My mouth fell open slightly. He thought about me. I was weirdly proud of myself for that. He continued, “What? You think you were the only one watching? Please.”

I scoffed, “Then why wait so long to come over?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

I bit my lip, a dull flame forming in my belly, “I don’t come over because I have a boyfriend, and it would be inappropriate.”

He smiled, showing his beautiful white teeth, “Well that’s a lie.”

“It’s true!” I was offended. He acted as if another man would never want me, like the colossal pain the ass he always is.

“No, no, I believe the boyfriend. But the threshold of what is appropriate was passed when you lied to him for weeks just so you could get a good look at me.”

He was right. I did lie, about a lot of things and mostly to myself. God, why couldn’t I just love the nice guy? Why was it the infuriating, sexy, genius who I found myself in quicksand with?

“Stephan knows where I am.”

Another lie he’d see right through, but I didn’t care. I’d lie through my teeth if that meant that he would keep talking. God, how I missed his voice, his stupid, arrogant, beautiful voice. 

Spencer looked at me straight in the eyes then, “Does he princess? That’s sweet.”

The condescension in his voice was palpable.

“You’re still so passive aggressive,” I said, leaning back in my chair to create space between us. He leaned forward, eradicating the space I just created. 

“Yet you’re still here.”

I stood up then, feeling like the tension between us could suffocate me, “I’m getting another round. Neat?”

He nodded, “Make it a double, I think I’ll need it.”

I walked over to the bar, finally getting some air. I was already so hot, and it wasn’t from the packed bar. It was from the way his eyes looked through me, the way he said my name, the way he said ‘Princess’. I regained my composure and sauntered back over to him. Game on, Pretty Boy. 

“So how’s what’s his name? Steven?” He said, taking his new drink. 

I rolled my eyes, “It’s Stephan, but you knew that. You know everything.”

He chuckled cockily, sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, “Well, how is Stephan?” He said the name with a fake posh accent, forcing me to hold back a laugh. 

“He’s wonderful,” I responded, twirling the mini umbrella from my drink between my fingers. Spencer’s dark eyes narrowed, brows furrowed, reading me like a book. The same way he always had. 

“No he isn’t,” he said matter-of-factly. 

“Wh-,” I groaned, “Spencer, I swear he’s great!”

“You haven’t gotten any better at lying.”

“And you haven’t gotten less infuriating.”

“Infuriating? Me?” He was mocking me now, I crossed my arms in defense, hoping maybe he could read that body language, and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. 

God why did he have to be like that? How did he always know exactly which buttons to press? And why did I like it? Why was I on fire from the moment he walked over?

“You were infuriating for the six months we dated, three years ago, and you’re infuriating now.”

He shrugged, “But you still like it. Some things never change, Princess.”

I blushed, knowing he was right, but not wanting to admit it, “I don’t like it. I hate it.”

He moved his chair closer to me at the table, so close I could smell him. He smelled the same way he did those years ago, and I had the same reaction. Thank god I was sitting; he made me so weak in the knees.  

Snap out of it, Y/N. I ordered myself, Think of Stephan, yes. Stephan, beautiful, boring Stephan. 

“Stephan isn’t infuriating,” I said, trying to ignore the way he licked his lips when he looked at me. God, I wanted to feel them against me. 

“Oh really? What is Stephan like?” Spencer said, using air-quotes around his name, disgust dripping from each syllable. 

“He’s nice.”

I avoided making eye contact, knowing full well how Spencer could see every lie I was about to tell. It wasn’t that Stephan was bad, he was just so, painfully, boring. If cardboard was a human being, it would’ve been Stephan. 

“Nice? That’s all?” Spencer said it with an air of amusement. 

“Well, he’s an accountant and he’s thirty-one.”

Spencer leaned close to me now, his breath smelling like whiskey and tickling my cheeks as he spoke, “Those are facts Y/N, I want to know what he’s like. Is he good to you? Does he make you happy?”

I gulped. There were the nerves. I was starting to twitch; his specialty. 

“He’s wonderful. He’s charming. I couldn’t ask for a better man.”

Spencer leaned back, crossing his legs and drinking some more, waiting for me to continue. 

“My parents love him. He’s smart, and handsome too.”

Spencer scoffed, “Your parents loved me.”

I rolled my eyes, “Well, he actually calls when he says he will, unlike you. Also unlike you, he’ll open doors for me because he isn’t scared of germs. He also doesn’t correct me every time I misspeak, instead he tells me I’m beautiful, and smart, and funny.”

We fell silent, both looking angry and defensive. He always could get to me like this. My body was hot and angry and so was his. He looked so good, it actually hurt. Could his lips be any pinker? Could his jawline be any sharper? 

“I’m waiting for the ‘but,’” He said, taking me out of my head for a moment. 

“But?”

“Yeah, what’s his fatal flaw Y/N?”

“Flaw? He has none. He’s literally perfect.”

“Perfect?”

“Yes!” I snapped. 

“No one’s perfect. What’s his flaw?” 

“None!”

Spencer kept badgering me, “What is it? Tell me, Princess. Tell me. Tell me what it is, you know you want to.”

It felt like a dam that was inside me had been broken, water and the truth pouring out at once, “He isn’t you!”

Spencer leaned back and smiled, “There it is.”

“Stephan is kind and gentle. We don’t scream, or fight. I don’t stay up crying and yelling and cursing! But he isn’t you, and I wish he was.” I gasped for air, not realizing I hadn’t been breathing, “There! Are you happy now?!”

Spencer was grinning, just like usual, “Very.”

I rolled my eyes, “Your turn.”

He raised his eyebrows and pointed to himself, “My turn?”

“Yeah, why have you been alone the last three years Reid? We both know you can have anyone in this place. Hell, Red over there has been eyeing you up for the last hour,” I gestured to the girl a few tables away who had been stealing glances at Spencer. An action that totally didn’t make my blood boil, at all, not even a little. 

He avoided my gaze now, “You know why.”

Now I had the power back. I got close to Spencer, so only he could hear me. All my reservations were gone, I was in the black hole. The fire in my body that I hadn’t felt for so long was finally back, “I want to hear you say it.”

He got even closer, lips barely a millimeter apart, “Just like he isn’t me, no woman alive will ever be you.”

I smiled, proud of the confession. I pulled back. As much as I wanted him right now, right here on this sticky bar table, I am no cheater, and though I forgive, I never forget. 

“Another difference between you and Stephan is that he won’t break my heart.”

Spencer smirked, “He can’t break your heart, because you feel nothing for him. There’s no love to lose.”

I sighed and ceded, “You’re right.”

“Always am.”

A comfortable silence followed, and my head was spinning. I don’t know if it was from the cosmos or from Spencer. He tended to do that to me. We both had softened. I was sad, because I knew it would never work. As much as I wanted it to, it wouldn’t. It didn’t three years ago. I just needed to live with it. You need more than passion to make it work. Hell, if all you needed was passion, Spencer and I would be growing old together right now. 

“This isn’t healthy, you know?”

Spencer nodded, all aggression faded away, “I know.”

“This will never work.”

“I know.”

“No I mean like never.”

Spencer gave me a half smile, “You don’t have to convince me. I know.”

I sighed, reaching out to hold his hand in the most platonic way possible. His skin was warm. I missed the way it felt under mine. 

“I just wish it would.”

He smiled sadly now, big brown eyes meeting mine and looking through me into my soul, “So do I, Princess.”

I laughed, “And stop calling me princess!”

“Or what, Princess?” He said it flirtatiously, his hand squeezing mine.

“Or I won’t be able to stop.”

“Stop what, Princess?”

“Stop myself from kissing you right now.”

He leaned in, lips barely an inch apart again, “Then don’t.”

And with that our lips touched softly, before we parted. The kiss was familiar but foreign. I’d felt it a million times before, but this one was different because the feelings were different. We stared at each other, before I stood, holding his hand. 

“Follow me,” I said, the fire in my belly mixing with the delightful throb in my core. All reservations were gone. I needed him. I needed him right now, or I felt like I might explode. 

He held my hand as we maneuvered between the crowd and ended up in front of the bathroom.

“Bathroom? Y/N there’s so many germs that’s-”

I had to cut him off by grabbing his shirt and pulling him into me. Our lips found each other so easily, like second nature. His were soft but chapped, I missed the way they felt on the rest of my body. I pulled him into the stall, and he pressed me up against a wall. His rough hands roamed my figure, landing on my hips and squeezing there. I pressed my hips into him, relishing the feeling. My hands found his hair, tugging at the roots to beckon his mouth open. He obliged, tongue moving across my lower lip and tangling with mine. Every movement sent twinges of pleasure to my core. 

When we broke apart, he looked at me, his light brown eyes seeming impossibly dark with lust, the same darkness that they held just minutes before. 

“Please, bedroom, not here,” He begged, and I silently agreed, peeling myself off of him.

I dropped a fifty on the table before stumbling out into the street for a cab. His hands never left my body, and his lips found mine every chance they got. 

In the back of the cab he was on top of me, squeezing the flesh of my butt as I left butterfly kisses and sucked on his neck. 

We showed up to my apartment, and ran inside. He pressed me up against the elevator door.  “Princess, I need you,” he whined, making me moan into his lips.

“Soon, so so soon, fuck.”

I fumbled with my keys, but soon we were inside.

“Bedroom,” he ordered before crashing his lips against mine again, this time even more feverishly, if that was physically possible. I stumbled backwards in the general vicinity of my room, not wanting to break apart from him for even a moment. He pressed his large hand into my back, steadying me for a moment and took his lips off mine. 

I whimpered, immediately missing the warmth of him on me. 

“Lead the way, princess.”

I smiled wide at the use of that pet name. It always sent an extra jolt of pleasure to my center when Spencer whispered it. 

Grabbing his hand I found the bedroom door. Before we even crossed the threshold his hands were on my body again, this time under my dress looking for panties to peel off.  

“No panties? Were you waiting for this Princess?”

I nodded and groaned as I kissed him, moving my lips down and across his sharp jaw, flicking my tongue out every once in a while and sucking lightly on spots. Just enough for him to moan, but not enough for a mark. I felt my knees hit the mattress of my bed and I fell back onto it, Spencer towering over me. 

I pulled my dress off, throwing it and my bra far away. I needed him to touch me. Now. 

His hands were cold on my chest, making my hardened nipples even harder. He pinched the buds lightly, making me arch my back into his body. 

He snickered, “Patience is a virtue, Princess.”

I groaned and pulled at his shirt, telling him I wanted it gone. 

“Too many clothes,” I mumbled against his chest as I kissed whatever skin I could reach. He did as I wished, and I sat up on my elbows to watch. His muscles contracting as he pulled it off was enough to force me to rub my thighs together, desperate for any feeling. He undid his belt too, letting his pants fall to the floor and stepping out of them. His boxer briefs left little to the imagination, not that I was complaining. The light gray material was darkened in one spot from where his precum was dripping. 

“Come back, Sir,” I begged.

His hands were on my shoulders and pushed me back so he could be on top of me again. The feeling of his chest against mine was maddening. I could also feel his member on my thigh, so close to my dripping heat, but still so far away. He distracted me with another kiss, his teeth coming out to bite my bottom lip. I moaned at the slight pain, running my hands all over his bare back. He worked his way from my lips to my jaw, leaving butterfly kisses in his wake. It drove me wild. I was bucking up into him, nails digging into his skin, sure to leave pretty red marks in their wake. He then made his way to my ear, sucking on the lobe ever so slightly. 

“You know, the ears are an under-appreciated erogenous zone,” he said between nibbling and sucking on my ear and the skin around it. 

“S-Spence,” I let out a breathy moan. Everything he did sent me reeling, clawing into his back begging for more. He really did drive me insane. His hand was back on my breast now, one arm was holding him up while the other pinched and played with my nipples. 

As he kissed and sucked the soft skin of my neck I did the same to whatever skin I could reach. I sucked on his shoulder, right where it meets the collarbone, appreciating how his skin was a little salty. 

I took one hand from his back and slid it between us, reaching down and toying with the waistband of his boxers. 

“Princess,” he moaned right in my ear as I reached in and pumped his hard cock twice, flicking my thumb over the tip to smear around his precum. 

He sat up, kneeling on either side of my thighs and I took that as my chance to pull the boxers down just enough for the pink head to bob out. I looked up at him through my eyelashes, his skin was covered in a sheen of sweat and his hair was covering his eyes, sticking to his forehead in some parts. He gave you a slight nod, and I sat up, immediately taking my tongue from base to tip. 

He took in a sharp breath as I took the tip of my tongue into the slit at the head of his cock, collecting what had formed there. It was salty, but I didn’t mind. The taste was familiar. I selfishly went down to lightly suck on his balls, squeezing the one not getting any attention with my free hand. He sighed, hands tangling through my hair, tugging at the root. 

I pushed on his stomach, “Lay down, I want to suck you right.”

I didn’t need to ask him twice. In a matter of moments I was straddling him, taking the head and sucking on it gently. 

“Fuuuck,” he whined, “You give the best head princess.”

I smiled around his cock as I took it inch by inch into my mouth. My hands took whatever I couldn’t fit and I started at an agonizingly slow pace. Speeding up as his grip on my hair got tighter. 

He moaned in approval, a slew of curse words and praises I could barely hear. I was just focused on swirling my tongue around his cock as he buried it in my throat. He bucked his hips in an attempt to face fuck me, and I allowed it. The head brushed against the farthest point in my throat, causing me to gag, saliva dripping down the sides of my face. 

“You look so pretty when you gag on me Princess.”

I hummed around him in pleasure, toying with his balls again, begging him to cum in my mouth.  Hearing him moan just made me more of a mess. 

He tugged on my hair slightly, “No way, I’m cumming on those pretty tits.”

I smiled up at him and wiped off my mouth. Spencer caught me in another kiss, this one much more loving and tender than the previous ones. He cupped my face and stroked my cheek. 

His free hand came between my bodies in the same move I had used on him, this time his lithe fingers rubbing my clit lightly, but only for a moment. 

The kiss deepened into a full on teenage make-out, our naked bodies grinding against each other. I had never been so desperate in my life, wetness dripping down my thighs. His hands were on my ass, pinching and squeezing. 

“Touch me,” I begged between kisses. 

“Lay down Princess.”

We swapped positions again and I moved up the bed to lean on some pillows. 

He kissed me, hand moving deftly to my aching core. He took the tip of his middle finger and swiped between my lips. 

I shuddered at the touch, but it was taken away so quickly. 

He leaned to my ear, his hot breath tickling my skin as he placed that same finger in my mouth. I sucked on it greedily, “So wet for me already Princess.”

He nipped at my ear lobe again, causing me to buck my hips up at him. He put his face just over mine, looking deeply into my eyes as he took one finger and put it all the way in. 

I groaned happily at the contact, closing my eyes to savor it. 

“Eyes open. Watch me.”

I opened my eyes, just as he added a second finger, curling them to find my g spot. I opened my mouth to moan but no sound came out. The pleasure of him in me was rippling throughout my touch-starved  body. 

“More Spencer, please ah- fuck- more!” I yelped. His free hand came up to my breast, kneading it and my nipple again. I moaned louder, more guttural this time. His fingers never stopped even as I clawed at his skin. My nails dragged along his back and my eyes never left his. 

If my eyes looked anything like his, then they were clouded with lust and immense pleasure. 

“Spence—“ I gasped as he added his thumb to circle my clit. 

It felt intoxicating, like I was high on all the drugs at once. The vision of his perfect face went black at the edges, that feeling I missed so much forming in my stomach. He’s the only one who could give it to me.

“Use your words Princess,” he cooed, flicking his tongue between his lips. 

“D-Don’t stop I’m close.”

He took this as a signal to go faster, his hands moving in ways I  didn’t think possible. His thumb rubbed rough figure eights over my clit that was slick from my own wetness. When my breathing quickened and I tightened around him he knew I was close, leaning in to kiss me gently as I rode out my orgasm. 

I moaned loudly into his mouth as the rubber band snapped, tingling and pulsing around his fingers.  He coaxed me through it, milking me for everything I had. When he removed his hand and licked me off of his fingers, I whined. I needed something to fill me up; I  needed him to fill me up. I felt so empty without him there. 

“Want me to fuck you, princess?” He asked, his hands coming up to brush the hair out of my face. 

“More than anything,” I managed out, still feeling delirious from the first orgasm. 

“Your wish is my command,” and with that he placed his tip inside of me, moving slowly to allow me to adjust to him. 

“Ah fuck,” we both groaned simultaneously. 

“You’re so tight,” he muttered, finally filling me to the hilt and waiting for my signal to tell him to start. 

“Fuck me, Spencer Reid, fuck me like you mean it,” I burst, and he did. 

At first he started slowly, only moving a few inches in and out. I jerked my hips up, wanting to feel more. He thrusted in and out of me wildly, his hair bouncing with every motion and sweat dripping down his face. 

I relished every movement, using my hands to tangle through his hair and my lips to suck on his neck as he leaned over me. He withdrew almost completely, then pounded back into me, the pain causing me to hiss. 

The room was filled with primal, animal-like moans and the sound of skin slapping against skin. I reached up and put two fingers in his mouth, which he licked with gusto knowing exactly what I was going to do with them. I mimicked his rough figure eights on my clit, wanting to cum with him. 

“I’m close princess,” he panted, “Can I cum on those pretty tits?”

I just nodded, unable to find words as we climbed the mountain to our orgasms together. After a few more strokes he pulled out and brought himself to his orgasm, cumming all over my chest with a sigh. He flopped down next to me, overexerted. I continued circling and my own orgasm came seconds later and much less intense than the one he had given me prior. 

Spencer stood up and grabbed a few tissues, wiping the fluid off my chest. When I was cleaned up I snuggled up against him, face to face. 

“Are we going to talk about this?” He panted, still regaining his breath. He gingerly moved some hair from my face.

I sighed, “You know I’m never going to stop loving you?”

He smiled, “You know I’m never going to stop loving you too, Princess?”

Saying those words again took the weight of the last three years off my shoulders, but deep down I still had doubts.

“We won’t work.”

My voice cracked and tears were threatening my eyes.

He kissed my cheek, and pulled me against him, “We don’t know unless we try and I promise to be less infuriating this time, Princess.”

I turned so our lips met, “So let’s try.”

[nochuvalencia]

𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 - jhs

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 :: jhope x reader

𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 :: “you taste like heaven angel.”

𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 :: SMUT

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 :: 8.2k

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 :: CUNNILINGUS, multiple orgasms, spanking, hobi is a prick, ex!hoseok, they kinda almost get caught, reader acts like she doesn’t want him, he chokes her like once, jealous hob, the tiniest bit of taehyung x reader but it’s just flirting, toxicbf!hobi

It had been over six months since you had broken up with Hoseok and you still couldn’t get that bastard out of your head. It was exhausting really only because he was the most toxic, manipulative, yet amazing boyfriend you have ever been with all at the same time. To your dismay, you remember every daunting detail of the day the two of you broke up with a precision that is pathetic to say the least. You vividly recall the way he blatantly flirted and danced with your best friend at the time. The way he caressed her arm the way he had done to you millions of times. The way he whispered into her ear. The way he curled his hands around her waist and glanced over at you with a knowing smirk. All because you didn’t object to a free drink from the hot bartender that night. He was always jealous and insufferably so which was one of the reasons why you stormed over to the pair, kicked him in the shin and swiftly broke up with him with a quick “we’re over” in a cloud of heated fury. Obviously you had been very upset after that but the most upsetting thing was the fact that he reacted to your kick more than he reacted to you breaking up with him so you had stormed out of the establishment before attracting any additional unwanted attention. You cried on the sidewalk outside of the rowdy night club for hours before receiving a text from him that really set you off which read, ‘you’ll be begging for me again my angel <3’ You weren’t really mad at the context or the way he worded it or the snarky smirk you could feel radiating off of the text, you were mad because a part of you actually believed what he wrote. That you’d come crawling back to him like a pathetic little puppy. You hated the fact that you were always so obedient and did exactly what he wanted when he wanted, so you’d promised yourself that from that day forward, you wouldn’t do just that.

He had done shit like that before, acting out because of the dumbest things, upsetting you or making you wildly jealous just because he loved how you got when you were mad but those weren’t the only reasons you broke up with him. In the club that night while you watched them dance and talk, tauntingly aware of your presence, you wondered how your life would be in the future if your relationship continued. You thought he might have loved you but he was controlling, jealous, uber toxic and you didn’t know how those traits would translate in the future. So you panicked and bailed, thinking, ‘will he act like this if we grow old together?’ and ‘how will he be if we get married?’ or ‘would he even want to get married?’. All the worried thoughts swirling in your head mixed with the alcohol and jealous rage contributed to your rash decisions and you were way too ashamed to turn back after the deed had been done, no matter how much you cared for him. You were too ashamed to admit your mistake and were still trying to figure out if it even had been one. Your relationship from start to finish was just a rollercoaster of mixed signals and you were ready to get off that ride and find something more stable. Something that would last, and you knew you wouldn’t find it with him and you knew it even after being apart from him for so long, so why was he still on your mind?

The man left his mark on you, his residue thoroughly coating your brain and sticking like frozen tar, firmly ingraining itself in your mind and further convincing you that you were still his. But you weren’t. Obviously, and you thought at first that you merely needed to convince yourself of that with countless nights of alcohol and terrible drunk sex with strangers. That was really the only time your mind was ever free of his wrath. Not during the sex though, you mainly just recalled of all the ways Hoseok was better than the guys that were sleeping with you. You figured that was one of the reasons you couldn’t get him off of your mind, his tongue was phenomenal in itself. While you were together, he once made you cum four times with his mouth alone, which blew your mind completely and only made you attached even more to your dismay. Only one of your several hookups came close to being as good as him but it was still a bit disappointing if you were being frank. The man was sloppy and not in a good way. However, you never really retained the energy to complain about them anymore.

You currently stood outside the nightclub owned by none other than the devil himself, Jung Hoseok. It sounded like the absolute dumbest thing you could do since you had been spending the last half of a year trying to get over him but the bartender was a really good friend, you always got in free after he put you on the VIP list whilst you were in a relationship, and you knew his work schedule. He never worked on Saturdays because the club was way too full for him to bear so that was exactly when you went, even though in truth it was a little too full for you to bear as well. You had no idea why he never took you off of the VIP list but you never questioned it as long as he didn’t know you had been in attendance so you approached the entrance wincing at the loud yet muffled bass thumping through the threshold. The bouncer nodded and opened the rope invitingly upon seeing your familiar face to which you bobbed your head back, scurrying through the doorway with a scowl as the skull splitting music thumped violently into your ears. In no time you had shimmied a path through the massive sea of sweaty bodies and pushed your way up onto a barstool before locking eyes with your favorite bartender and quite literally your only friend, Taehyung. A wide smile broke out on his soft features as he set eyes on you and you returned the gesture whilst sliding onto the obnoxiously high stools at the bar. The man was ridiculously hot, a fact you hadn’t ignored as you had been trying to get him to sleep with you, or even go for a damn coffee with you for the past three months which was stupid on your part because he was one of Hoseok’s best and most trusted friends, so he’d never do that to him. But you didn’t care, Hoseok didn’t deserve friends in your opinion, and he’d basically dry humped yours the night you broke up.

“Hey handsome.” You waved him over, greeting him with a wide toothy grin and leaning closer to his slender form by crossing your arms on the counter top. He blatantly checked you out, his gaze raking slowly over the thin satin dress that hugged your frame exactly where it mattered. You bought this dress right after your breakup and officially gave it the stupid name, your “lucky fucky dress” after getting laid because of it around five times and you looked phenomenal in it. Taehyung tossed the small hand towel clutched in his slim hand over his shoulder before placing a small glass on the counter in front of you, filling it to the brim with some sort of dark liquor.

“Hey gorgeous” he greeted, his warm smile quickly becoming weary as he warned, “you probably shouldn’t be here tonight.” you quickly chugged the small glass, wincing at the delicious sting in your throat, the corners of your mouth turning down at the words he spoke. Sliding the glass back to him with a short inhale you open your mouth, about to question what he meant before he quickly answered the ‘why?’ dangling on the tip of your tongue. “He’s here babe.” Taehyung deadpanned and your soul basically dropped to hell. Your heart began pounding in your chest as you attempted to disguise your heightened emotions. This was his club after all and you couldn’t avoid him forever, but you sort of hoped that you would be able to. Although a small part of you hoped he would spot you at least once, just to flaunt how good you were doing without him, but that wouldn’t be a possibility because he was most likely cooped up in his office like the workaholic you remember he once was. You chuckled curtly at the man that stood before you, his pitiful eyes staring at you as if you were a child that just fell off their bike. He could see you were still hung up on him. It was completely obvious. Why else would you show up at his club every week? Why else would you react to Hoseok’s presence in such a manner? This was the exact reason he would never sleep with you. You were amazing, funny, and gorgeous beyond belief, but your heart still belonged to Hoseok. You were still devoted to him no matter how much you denied it. It hurt him to watch you mask your pain and he definitely wouldn’t take advantage of that.

“Okay?” you laughed out falsely, your mind running rampant with ways to change the subject. “Pour me another drink Tae.” you smiled up at him, acting as unfazed as you possibly could as you watched the glass refill and downing it in a matter of seconds before your eyes scanned the crowd of bodies dancing messily on top of each other. They looked like they were having a blast and you needed something to take your mind off of Hoseok's presumed presence. “I take it you still won’t come dance with me?” you questioned toward the handsome young bartender as you hopped off of the stool, running your hands down your dress and staring up at him as he shook his head.

“No, sorry babe. I gotta make drinks.” He replied, making a small pout form on your red tinted lips as you backed away from the counter. You shot him a curt wave as you spun around and strode onto the cluttered dance floor, pushing your way through the mounds of gyrating bodies and locking eyes with the first decent looking man you spotted in the crowd. You shot him a playful smirk as you approached him, beginning to sway your body slowly along with the music. He raked his hooded eyes up and down your body shamelessly before snaking a strong arm around your waist and spinning you so your back was flush with his hard abdomen. He was doing much better than most guys you had encountered so far. You closed your eyes and began dancing in synchronous with him, flailing and writhing rhythmically to the music as you bumped bodies with the man behind you who’s dancing skills were quite impressive to say the least. You slowly snaked your hands up your body as you continued to sway before tossing them behind you and rowdily intertwining your fingers at the back of his neck which in turn pulled him even closer to you if that were possible.

You tilted your head back to rest on his shoulder with a sigh not long before opening your eyes to be met with a sight you didn’t expect to see even after being warned by Taehyung. He said Hoseok was here but you had either expected him to be joking like he was many times before, or you had expected the man in question to stay holedup in his office like he was on almost every work night in the club. But no, there he was, hunched over the VIP balcony, his bloodthirsty glare piercing through you with the intensity of a thousand suns. He looked absolutely amazing, if you had to admit, clad in a black turtleneck with matching charcoal slacks, patent leather shoes and a black and gold Gucci belt wrapped tightly around his waist. Your heart stilled in your chest as you continued to grind on the individual behind you, your eyes and thoughts fully trained on the man above as you breathed deeply. But you weren’t going to let him get to you like he had so many other times. You utilized the liquid confidence swirling through your veins and huffed assuringly before gyrating harder into the patron behind you with a satisfied smirk as he snaked his arms down your sides.

You noticed Hosek cock his head to the side, his stoic expression never changing as he stared you down dangerously from above. Pulling your bottom lip into your mouth slowly, you clamped your teeth down on the sensitive flesh as you remembered him doing so many times before and you knew for a fact it drove him insane, but his expression remained cold as he watched. Closing your eyes once more, you spun back around to face the man you had been dancing with, smiling consistently as you felt his hands wander to the expanse of your ass whilst the both of you spun and weaved on the dance floor. Glancing up at the balcony once more, you were shocked to find the place Hoseok was perched to be vacant, however you thought nothing of it as you swayed rhythmically, raising your arm to wrap it around the man’s shoulder. Barely a second later, a rough hand abruptly took hold of your wrist mid air, gripping it tightly and yanking you away from the crowd of bumping bodies. You could barely see who it was before you were dragged up the glass staircase, through the VIP lounge, and into Hoseok’s office. It was then you automatically realized who had abducted you. In no time, you were pushed into the large office and shoved roughly against the door, the force of your body slamming it shut as you stared into the fury filled eyes of your ex boyfriend with a scowl on your face. He shoved you so hard your back stung where it collided with the hard wood but you could hardly care. Too many emotions were swirling in your mind to pay attention to such a frivolous detail.

“What the fuck do you want Hoseok. “ You deadpanned, obviously knowing exactly what he wanted but furrowing your brows to seem unfazed. You struggled to maintain your resolve under his heated gaze as you fidgeted and trembled nervously, the fear and pure shock being almost too much for you to bear. You knew he was jealous from the moment you caught his gaze on the dance floor but you never expected him to do anything about it, at least not after six months of radio silence between the two of you. But he never failed to surprise you and in an instant, his hand shot up to grip the base of your throat, your eyes watering as you attempted to maintain your stoic facade.

“You know what the fuck I want Angel?” he spat, more of a question than anything as his grip tightened on the sides of your neck before he answered for you. “I want you to stop sharing what’s mine.” he replied before leaning in and enclosing your lips in the most raw, steamy kiss you had shared with anyone in a while. Before you delved into the tempting lure of the kiss, you had enough rational thought swirling in your little mind to really think about what he just said. His? You were His? You were supposed to belong so someone who used to constantly go out of their way to show they weren’t yours? His thought process made absolutely no sense and you’d become fed up a long time ago. You had enough of his bulllshit and hated how much control he had over you and your emotions so you resisted his charm for the first time in a while, twisting out of his hold and stepping away from him. He turned to face you and before you knew it, the palm of your right hand collided with his left cheek. The sound resonated through the empty room even with the loud music playing outside as you gasped in unison, a chaste groan coming from his mouth while you clasped both hands over yours. You both stood in complete silence for what felt like forever, completely speechless as you contemplated what you should do at that very moment. Half of you wanted to hit him again, the other half wanted to scream and run out of the door, but a small part just wanted to see what he would do first. No, a big part wanted to see how he would react so you stood still, absolutely stoic, just waiting until he did what you never expected him to do. He laughed. A small yet terrifying chuckle fell past his lips as his borderline murderous gaze set on you again. You held your limp hands against your chest as he began slowly walking toward you making you take small steps backward as he advanced. You ultimately hit the wall behind his desk with a sharp intake of air, staring at him with wide eyes.

“Hoseok, wh-...” your words died in your throat as you swallowed thickly, pressing your palms into the wall behind you as if it would do anything to help you. “What are you doing?” you choke out as he finally approaches you, his soft minty breath fanning your face as he speaks.

“No, what are you doing ____?” he asks, spitting your name out like a weapon as you stammered. You looked down for a split second before your chin was caught in his fingers and you were forced to meet his glare. “You’ve been here 19 times in the past five months Angel,” he continued, calling you out in a way you didn’t think he paid any mind to. You knew he had access to the guest list, you’ve just never noticed him pay attention to who is in attendance unless police are involved and even then he truly never cared so you furrowed your brows. “Yet you’re still acting like you don’t want me.” he muttered, his voice hushed in contrast to the muffled bass that boomed outside his closed office door.

“That has nothing to do with wanting you Hoseok.” You murmured, glaring at him as his grip tightened, immobilizing your jaw and pushing the back of your head into the wall while he neared your face with his own still staring into your glassy eyes as your lip began to quiver, his minty breath fanning your face from the proximity. He was right and you knew it. But, he was a good boyfriend at absolute best, so why did he take refuge in your mind for so long? You began to tell yourself it might’ve been because you still love him but the daunting reality of that would be too much to bear. It would mean he won, and you didn’t wish to give him that satisfaction because no matter how much you loved him, he was still a conceited prick.

“I know you miss me baby just say it.” His voice is soft, his eyes are warm and convincing, and you almost succumb to his charm but you shake your head, groaning in disagreement as he still maintains his iron grip on your chin so you can’t respond. “You miss us, I know you do. Just need a reminder angel.” he purred seductively, his familiar rasp like heaven in your ears as you shake your head once more, your resolve still strong. “But…” He let go of your chin and stepped back once, the eye contact never wavering as he taps his left cheek which is still red from your slap, a smirk emerging on his face as he speaks. “If i’m wrong, hit me again. Do it.” he’s testing you, he knows you hate violence. He’s playing off of the fact that the first slap was a spur of the moment adrenaline rush that most likely won’t happen again. Sneaky bitch. “Come on baby, do it. Hit me angel, right here.” he muses in a teasing tone as he points his face to you. Rolling your eyes, you avert them annoyedly as you shake your head, refusing to talk to him. Taking your silence as a triumph he smiled widely before happily stating, “that’s what I thought. You love me too much.” and you finally speak.

“I don’t fucking love you anymore Hoseok. I’m not even sure why I did in the first place, you’re such a fucking prick.” you state coldly and his eyes darken once more as a challenging grin graces his hard features and he nods understandingly.

“You don’t remember why you loved me?” he questioned, almost sarcastically with a dark chuckle. “Let me remind you then Angel.” Almost suddenly, impetuously, his mouth was on your neck, his left hand coming up to hold the side of your face as he roughly yanked you closer to his body with his arm around your waist. You had no choice but to wrap your arms around his torso, in fear of falling if you hadn’t done so as he practically made out with the soft expanse of your flesh. You pulled your lip into your mouth, simultaneously biting it and the side of your tongue is an attempt to mask any sounds of enjoyment that wanted to escape. You held onto him for dear life as he deftly found your sweet spot, your knees basically turning into jello as you hummed, the noise sounding muffled through your attempts to hide it but it was audible nonetheless and you could feel him smile against your neck. He sucked hard, leaving an obvious hickey as he ventured down, his kisses and bites leaving your skin hot where his fleeting touch was remembered and he removed his hand from your face, taking it down with him and placing it in the nook under the swell of your clothed breast.

Unravelling his arm from your waist, he slowly slid the thin strap that took refuge on your left shoulder down, freeing your breast to him as it took the triangle shaped coverage down with it. He spared no fleeting moment as he lunged forward, taking the nipple in his mouth as he sucked with the force of a dyson power vacuum, his other hand pushing the fabric that covered the other breast to the side. He cupped and squeezed the ball of flesh in his hand while fervently sucking the nipple of the other, your muffled hums soon turning into low gasps and mewls as you no longer felt the need to conceal them. You sent a shaky hand down to tangle in his hair, the other taking purchase on his wrist as he clutched and kneaded the soft skin, his index and middle fingers moving up to softly tease and pinch at the erect nipple. He had no sort of incomprehension at how to pleasure you as he knew your body like the back of his hand after worshiping it like religion while you were together. He knew how to make you feel good and he was planning on showing you just how much you missed his extensive knowledge.

His tongue swirled skillfully as he tweaked, licked, and sucked all over your sensitive nipple, your little gasps and pants letting him know he was giving you exactly what you needed as he latched onto you hungrily. It had been but a few moments before he had released his mouth from its place on your breast and by then, you already looked a mess, your dress wrinkled and eyes dilated as you breathed as if you just concluded a 5k. He loved seeing you like this, making you like this. He loved seeing you already so ruined after only a morsel of his touch. He couldn’t count on one hand how many times he had to fight the urge to spin you around and take you against the wall, just how you liked it, but he relented, reminding himself to pace your pleasure, to only give you exactly what you wanted in small increments, to remind you what you craved with just a taste, and make you beg for more, or less, whichever came first.

Hoseok resumed his descent, marking his path in a trail of kisses, kitten licks, and hickeys along the expanse of your abdomen as his hands followed, running along the sides of your body slowly before he abruptly dropped to his knees before you, staring up at you with a mischievous glint in his deep chocolate eyes. You had read the look in his eyes almost instantly as you had many times before while you were together and you almost didn’t object, but the side of you that actually has morals, told you this was not okay. No matter how much you absolutely craved to feel his touch once again.

“Hoseok, we’re not together anymore, you can’t just...” you stammered as he attached both hands onto your thighs, running them up and down the exposed skin softly, brushing underneath the hem of your dress with each pass. He stared up at you, only uttering a dramatic, ‘hmm?’ at the uncertainty of your words before leaning in to place multiple quick kisses over the skin of your legs. A wave of warmth and realization hit you at the same time and you couldn’t figure out which to focus on as you stared down at him, then everywhere except him. You wondered if this was really happening, or maybe you were dreaming and would wake up at any given moment in your comfortable bed. It had occurred many times before. But this felt way too real. It felt way too good to be a dream but you couldn’t stop him, probably because you didn’t want to but you’d never admit that to yourself as he kissed his way up your legs, his nose lifting the fabric of your dress as he moved higher. You just stared down at him dumbfoundedly, breathing heavily with your hands pressed against the wall.

In an instant, his hands were underneath the fabric of your dress, caressing the bare skin of your hips and the supple swells of your ass which were exposed by the black lace thong you wore. Of course you choose today to wear his favorite kind but you didn’t wish to dwell on it, but he did, as he slid his hands up, using the backs of his wrists to lift your dress so he had full view of your panty clad heat. He let out a deep sigh, placing a soft kiss on the area above your slit with a smirk as you made eye contact with him over the bunched fabric of your dress.

“No bra? My favorite panties? Really ____? It’s like you planned this all out.” he remarked as you furrowed your brows. You knew exactly how it looked, you showing up at your ex boyfriend’s club, wearing his favorite type of panties, and staying even after his friend told you he was here. There wasn’t much evidence in your favor so you decided to stay quiet, rolling your eyes and leaning your head back onto the wall to avoid eye contact. You heard him chuckle as he resumed, hooking his fingers in the waistband of your underwear and tugging them to the floor allowing you to step out of them hesitantly before softly slipping the platform pumps off of your aching feet, kissing the tops of your knees one at a time as you bent them to allow him to remove the torture devices on your feet. You mainly had no idea why you were so compliant, his hold over you was way too strong. Or maybe it was just the fact that you hadn’t had a good orgasm in months and you knew he could give it to you.

“I can’t wait to taste you again baby.” Hoseok muttered and maneuvered his hands between your parted legs, taking hold of your thigh and lifting your left leg to bend it over his shoulder before reaching under your other thigh to lift you completely off of the ground and bend it over his other shoulder so you were sitting right in front of his face. You sighed, struggling to separate the intimate aspects of this from the romantic aspects and you decided, to do so, you weren’t gonna look at him as an attempt to remain detached from this devil of a man. After a few moments of still silence, you felt him snake his left arm around your thigh to stabilize you as he traced the pad of his thumb down your surprisingly wet slit. You hadn’t even noticed how turned on he made you as you gasped almost inaudibly, taking your bottom lip into your mouth and sucking on it nervously as you anticipated he would say something about it. “Already wet? Wow, you missed me more than I thought you did.” and you were right as you fought back the strong urge to roll your eyes.

“Hoseok-” you began to chastise until he cut you off.

“You can still call me hobi babe, don’t be shy.” You finally gave into the overwhelming urge and rolled your eyes, remembering the nicknames and all the great memories you shared with him despite promising yourself you wouldn’t do that so you changed the subject to avoid your unwanted feelings as you had done many times before when it came to memories of him being the topic of conversation.

“What about cocky bitch?” you retorted with an amused snort, earning a chaste slap to your right asscheek. You yelped, peering down at him as he smiled up through your thighs. You had to admit, he looked hilarious and a bit adorable with his face squished between your legs but you shrugged it off once more the avoidance of sentimental topics being the only thing on your mind as you cleared your throat.

“Hey, watch your fucking mouth.” He replied quite stupidly if you had to say so yourself. You chuckled, raising your eyebrows down at him as he grinned wider. He hadn’t seen your smile in six months, so he revelled in this chance he was given and just took the time to bask in the glow of your happiness, even if just for a moment. One of his favorite things to do was make you laugh and he took it for granted until he lost the chance to do it.

“Do you know how hypocritical you sound right now?” you asked, another laugh falling from your lips as he chuckled back heartily with a shrug that lifted your entire body as you had been sat completely on his shoulders. He moved his face closer to you, his smile never fading as he placed a quick kiss to your clit, your smile fading as you took a sharp intake of air.

“I miss hearing you laugh ____.” he murmured before licking a big stripe up your slit before you had the time to answer, your words getting caught in your throat and a moan escaping instead. “But that’s what I miss the most.” Your face heated up swiftly as your eyes darted frantically around the room. He was doing it again. That mental manipulation bullshit he pulled to get his way all the time. You recalled he used to convince you of anything while his dick or tongue was inside you because he knew you weren’t lucid enough to think about anything rationally. It sucked but it worked everytime, and you were going to make sure it didn’t work this time to the best of your ability. He flattened his tongue running it up and down your slit repeatedly, pushing the tip into your entrance a few times just to tease a bit as you whined softly, shutting your eyes harshly as he continued to speak. “You taste like heaven angel.” and you zone out as an attempt to block out his dangerously sweet words and only focus on his stimulation.

He kneaded the flesh of your ass carefully as he began to draw circles on your clit with his tongue, alternating between the tip and surface of the muscle as you leaned your head back onto the wall, feeling the pleasure just begin to build up. There weren't many things he had been good at regarding your relationship but this definitely had been one of his attributes. The man knew what he was doing. He puckered his lips around your pleasure bud, licking and flicking it with his tongue as he glanced up, just to catch a glimpse of how you reacted to his mouth. You began to slowly move your hips closer to his face as almost inaudible whimpers and mewls fell past your lips, as a reaction to his every move.

He released his lips from your heat, his tongue sticking out to swirl and curl on your wet center teasingly, the waves of pleasure increasing in intensity as they crashed on your shore, yet you still refused to look down at him as you felt his gaze stabbing into your face. The continuous movements of his tongue remained at a steady pace for a while as he inoculated a continuous stream of ecstasy to your core only to increase his speed incrementally as the time passed. He sucked harshly on your clit, drawing a silent whine from your lips as your mouth fell open while he hooked his right arm around your other thigh to get as close to you as possible. He flattened his tongue, shaking his head back from side to side as fast as your thighs would allow him to as you felt an orgasm approach, the feeling bubbling up in your stomach with every passing second as you moaned, one of the first, clear, audible moans accompanying the salacious lapping sounds echoing in the empty room which only spurred you on more.

“Cum on my tongue baby.” he muttered, the vibration and commanding tone only bringing you closer as you finally opened your eyes, staring at the ceiling. He always knew when you were about to cum because he studied the signs like religion while the two of you were together so he could tell from the very instant you felt an orgasm coming. He groaned into you, the sensation acting as the catalyst as you fell over the edge, your body convulsing as your thighs squeezed his face harshly. Hoseok used his arms to pull them apart so he could continue his attack on your cunt and he licked further down, catching the juices of your release with a satisfied groan. You believed he would slow to a halt once you had finished but oh how wrong you were as he continued lapping up your core, the moderate speed of his tongue never slowing for a mere second as he held onto your legs tightly. He waited while you squirmed to release yourself of his iron grip until the sting of your overload passed before he slowly unwound his right arm from your leg to bring his hand up to your dripping entrance. You shivered as the rough pads of his fingertips made contact with your wetness as he began to circle his index and ring fingers around the soaked hole and you gasped, the cries of your orgasm dying into repeated pants and moans as you felt his fingertips enter you slowly.

With almost no hesitation he slipped his slender fingers in, swiftly curling them inside you, your back arching off of the wall as he repeated his motions slowly, his fingers only adding to the feeling of his tongue stimulating your swollen pleasure bud. You lifted your hands which hung limply by your side up to your chest, attaching them to your bust as you began squeezing and fondling the sensitive mounds, teasingly running your fingers over your embarrassingly hard nipples that stood out proudly and wincing at the lascivious feeling it provided. The offensive noises leaving your lips one after the other were Hoseok’s main source of energy, the only thing keeping his heart, and fingers, (and tongue) pumping as he persevered, never growing tired of his favorite activity. Your face reddened at the x-rated noises provided by his fingers thrusting in and out of your tight cavern at an accelerated speed as he continued to shake his head furiously, his lips and tongue stimulating your clit constantly which is when you felt the euphoric pleasure of your second orgasm approach, the heat spreading through your limbs as you cried out in anticipation.

Breathing heavily, you fought off the urge to stare down into his wide brown eyes while he worked, the orgasm creeping up on you until mere moments later, it finally arrived, quicker than the first, probably because he used his fingers but you didn’t have the time nor the mental capacity to decipher the minutiae as you trembled harshly, your voice cracking as you called out a wanton cry of relief. The wave of heat that traveled through your limbs was almost debilitating as you released your hands from your chest to foozle with the hem of your dress, balling the fabric up in your hands. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head at the feeling of immense release and you stared up at the sleek gray fan that hung in the middle of the ceiling, still refusing to look down and hyperventilating as his pace still did not relent. This man was going to be the death of you.

He continued lapping up your clit, skillfully pumping his fingers in and out of you as your juices leaked out and onto the floor. You cried in overstimulation, your eyes closing as you released various noises of orgastic pleasure and you struggled to form any sort of coherent thought. Although, in an instant, all the commotion in your mind slowed as you heard a soft knock resonate from outside his door and you squirmed, trying to move away from his face as whoever was at the door knocked again, a bit more harshly this time. Your face contorted into an expression of complete horror at the thought of someone entering the room and catching a glimpse of the indecent scene. The pair of you looked absolutely obscene to say the least. Anyone who walked through the door, which was unlocked, would get an eyeful of your bare chest at first then catch a glimpse of the man that was knelt before you, devouring the treasure between your legs as if it were his last meal as you sat backwards against a wall, completely on his shoulders. The thought terrified you and your first thought was to get Hoseok’s attention.

“Hoseok…” you struggled out, trying to maintain your composure as he remained glued to your cunt feverishly. “Hoseok there… there’s someone-” you stopped, barely able to finish your sentence as you released a lustful whine, tilting your head back as you relished in the pleasurable feeling that passed through your body. He reluctantly removed his face from your pussy to your dismay as he looked up at you, the bottom of his face glistening with juices of your pleasure as he smirked up at your exhaustion. But to your surprise, his fingers did not waver in their pace as they curled, twisted, wound, and pumped in and out of your cunt. The feeling not nearly enough compared to his tongue, but it held you over as he addressed the interrupting party.

“What do you want?” he called out, your eyes widening as you realized he had no intention to stop pleasuring you to conduct business and would engage in casual conversation even as he was knuckle deep inside you, you wiggled around, earning a quick slap to your ass a he glared up at you, daring you to do something he wouldn’t like before listening to what the man outside the door had to say.

“I have the statements from yesterday's liquor shipment.” the man’s voice echoed from outside the door as your eyes travelled around the room nervously, afraid he might notice what’s going on inside the room. Hoseok’s grin returned as he lifted his thumb up to circle your clit, the sensitivity shocking you to say the least as you shook your head in his direction, knowing if he continued then you would surely cum.

“Oh, alright, does everything look correct?” Hoseok questioned calmly as you stared down at him in disbelief, salacious sounds of ecstasy falling from your lips with every movement of his hand. You felt your third orgasm approaching as you covered your mouth with your right hand, a muffled whine coming through when you caught a glimpse of the way he furrowed his brows and shook his head disapprovingly. You had often attempted to muffle your lecherous cries and whines when you were with him and he hated when you tried to stay silent. Your moans were akin to the heavenly songs of an angel, which lead him to the much adored nickname, and concealing them in his eyes would be the ultimate sin. You knew this fact entirely, so you hesitantly removed your hand, biting your lip to secretly mask the sounds of your approaching release.

“I’m gonna cum.” you whispered down to him as the man outside the door yelled an affirmative and Hoseok shrugged dismissively, his thumb moving back and forth in unison with his fingers that still curled in and out of you.

“Cum then.” he stated blankly before glancing over the door. You attempted to hold it back for as long as you could, but your willpower could never outrank his fingers and you felt the wildfire spread throughout your body at the speed of light, the feeling having your back arching and toes curling as you cried his name over and over, the ability to stay silent no longer in your control. You cried out, quickly becoming unaware of the man that was still standing outside the door waiting for an answer which was also a thought that left Hoseok’s mind as he stared up at you with a smile, completely awestruck by your beauty. He snapped out of his trance if only for a second before yelling out. “Okay, bring them to me later. I’m busy.” and returning his mouth to your cunt. At this point you really couldn’t take anymore as he replaced his thumb with his tongue, the wet muscle writhing on your clit once again as you skook and sobbed from the overstimulation, your breasts bouncing from the intensity of your trembling. You moaned his name over and over, tangling your fingers in his messy mop of brown hair as he chuckled into your heat, sending more vibrations of pleasure into your warmth, much more than you could possibly handle.

“Hoseok. Hoseok please it’s too much.” you cried out, shutting your eyes as your back lifted off of the wall in an attempt to get away from his punishing tongue, but he followed you with his face, even as your thighs squeezed his head so hard you’d think his skull would pop, but it didn’t and he persevered. “I can’t take anymore. I can’t-...” you sobbed out again, begging for him to stop or at least give you a break to come down from all the orgasms and pleasure he served to you. You shook your head exhaustedly, gripping onto his hair so hard your knuckles turned white as he groaned, probably in pain but he continued his actions unfazed.

“Look at me.” Hoseok commanded and you shook your head as you clenched your eyes shut, avoiding eye contact with him at all costs before you moaned quite loudly after feeling him land another quick slap to your bare bum. “I said fucking look at me.” he demanded and you obeyed, hesitantly staring down into the beautiful brown eyes of the man you were probably in love with as he devoured you. Hot mascara filled tears fell from your eyes but you weren’t sure if they were from the blatant overstimulation he was serving you or the untouched feelings that resurfaced once your eyes met. You told yourself you wouldn’t let him break you, but that was an obvious lie and you knew it, so you stared into his eyes, your resolve slipping by the moment as your release neared. “You can do it angel. Come on, one more time.” he egged you on, bringing you to the cusp of yet another orgasm as he talked you over the edge, his fingers thrusting mercilessly into your cunt as he ate you out relentlessly like it was his only job. “One more time baby, come for me one last time.” he continued, shaking his head rapidly as the feeling built up, much stronger than before and in no time, you were quite literally weeping as you shook and bucked against his face, basically screaming out as the ecstasy hit you like a train, knocking the energy out of you as your cries died down to silent pants.

He finally slowed his movements to a halt for the first time in a while as he reluctantly slipped his fingers out of you, your legs still shaking around his head. He smiled as he brought his fingers up, placing them in his mouth and licking them clean like he had many times before with a hot groan that had you smiling dumbly. Trailing his tongue around his mouth, he moved your thighs off his shoulders, propping you up on wobbly legs as you leaned against the wall tiredly, staring up at Hoseok in anticipation. He grinned triumphantly at you, snaking an arm around your waist and leaning in to capture your lips in a passion filled kiss, his tongue delivering the taste of your juices into your mouth as you sighed, unable to lie to yourself anymore. You missed him, and you knew it the entire time, you just didn’t want to deal with his bullshit so you shoved your feelings deep down where you hopefully didn’t have to face them. He obviously saw right through you from the day you broke up with him, but he decided to give you your space, figuring you’d come back to him when he was ready. That plan hadn’t worked out because it was obvious you weren’t going to approach him directly, your pride probably playing a huge part in that fact, so he decided to make his move, just to prove his point that you still wanted him.

“You did so good for me angel. You think you can keep going?” he questioned, holding the side of your face carefully as you nodded in response, figuring you needed a moment for your nerves to relax after that attack to realize you wanted all of him, and you wanted it bad. It was obvious he wanted you too when he pulled you flush against his body and you felt his painfully hard erection press into your lower abdomen. “Yeah? You want me to fuck you on my desk just like I used to?” he continued as you nodded compliantly once more. “Words baby.”

“I want you to fuck me on your desk. Please Hobi. I did so good for you.” you pleaded, to which he groaned, leaning down and sucking hard on the exposed mound perched on the right side of your chest, leaving a mark as he began a trail of open mouths kisses up as your eyes fluttered at the feeling. “Please.” you breathed out softly placing your hands on his sides with a deep breath, preparing yourself. He kissed higher and higher up the side of your neck, abruptly stopping once he got to your ear as he bit softly on the lobe, whispering in your ear almost inaudibly.

“I told you you’d be begging for me again angel.” he purred, giving your overstimulated clit a quick tap. You yelped, staring at him questioningly as he turned and strode out of his office, shutting the door behind him and leaving you in absolute silence. You shook your head, taking in what just occurred with a quick inhale as you stared around the room with wide eyes, an unreadable expression on your face.

“What the fuck just happened?” you asked as you leaned tiredly against the wall, staring at the door he just walked out of as you slowly processed the occurrences of that night.

[missyasf]

compass • 1

if I don’t have you with me I’m alone, you know I never know which way to go, I think I need you with me for all-time, when I need a new direction for my mind

Summary • Running into your ex-boyfriend is your worst nightmare come true and no matter how far you run, he’s right behind you and soon old habits that were better left in the past begin to return between you both.

Pairing • eren/fem!reader

Genre • angst, smut, modern!AU, dark content

Word count: 5.2k

tw ⚠️This is a toxic ex lovers story so strap in kids because the angst is strong, there’s a lot of themes of manipulation, mentions of self h*rm and attempted suic*de, eren has sad boy syndrome but don’t let it fool you, he’s still a toxic mess 

“Do you think this is meant to last…” the air in the room was silent, it was late afternoon and the sun had just set, blue light filtering in as dusk was coming to an end, no lights had been turned on yet leaving the room engulfed in a suffocating darkness, “You know...between us?”

Your eyes stung from the tears you had cried earlier and your voice was nearly a whisper, but throaty and hurt from all the screaming you had participated in earlier today.

Your relationship with Eren, was something you always loved, the way he’d pull you along at absurd hours of the night, the playful wrestling you’d engage in knowing he’d beat you every time, the words that weren’t spoken between you both, but rather the way you’d just look at each other for hours on end, a smile tugging on your lips making a smile pull onto his.

The highs were high.

But the lows went beyond the dirt in the ground. And today was one of those days. It was stupid, you had just been complaining about your group project and Eren, out of protective anger, ended up misdirecting it at you, humiliating you in front of all your friends before you ended up in a long, emotionally draining argument that only ended when you threatened to leave.

The tears that poured down your face, the plead of Eren, telling you that you couldn’t leave him, that in no world, would you two never not be together. Was that really true though?

Eren hadn’t spoke yet, even after all your internal monologue. His silence made you nervous causing you to shift a little on the bed you both had been laying in, silent up until the words you previously spoke.

You couldn’t see all his features properly in the dimly lit room that was slowly becoming darker minute by minute, he only stared up at the ceiling, his expression dim, perhaps as exhausted as you were through all the intense emotional highs and lows your relationship was always put under.

That’s when you noticed his hand squeezed into a fist and his eyes squinted a little at the ceiling, “I told you didn’t I? How I felt?” He turned to face you, that familiar simmering anger in his eyes, not directed at you, not intentionally, but it was always there. 

Eren finally turned to face you, grabbing your cheeks delicately contrast to his expression, as if he was holding delicate glass that even the slightest disturbance could break, “There couldn’t be a lifetime where we aren’t together…” He pressed his forehead against yours as your eyes closed, the familiar hot substance of tears rolling down your cheeks as his thumb gently wiped them away, “And if there is, then I’d rather die than live in a world without us.”-

Staring at your ceiling you glared harshly, that was only the one of the dozens of red flags he had told you time and time again back then. You were only sixteen and he was just a year older, you were young and inexperienced in love and Eren was the only person who had ever given you even a semblance of love, or at least what you had thought was love back then.

And he gave it to you so willingly, so passionately, looking back you couldn’t blame your younger self from getting swept away in the whirlwind that was him. Even after all these years, it’s still hard to not think about him sometimes, replay older memories of your past where his smile filled many happy days. And even after relationships, which were considered much healthier, you still found yourself some days missing what used to be.

And that was all in the grand scheme of you genuinely hating the fact that you missed him, logically, you understood that, it wasn’t healthy, your love, the relationship, the vicious whiplash of highs and lows. Eren, wasn’t, and given the path you both had been on- would never be healthy for you. But still, your days spent with him, where some of the last you ever felt genuine joy.

But even your unstable love never stood a chance, the pure euphoric feeling you had together and foolish naïve vows to never leave one another. Something built so recklessly, was bound to crash. And eventually your relationship went into flames with Eren and it was a hellish end too.

Drama from both of your friend groups ensued, it was a he said she said, Mikasa claimed Eren had ended up cheating on you with Mina at a party, Connie who had been a mutual friend introduced to you ended up cutting ties with Armin and Jean when he found out they had been covering for Sasha who had been using him just for better grades, Eren ended up nearly beating Reiner to unconscious when you had gotten into a massive fight with him and decided to try and be with someone else.

It had been a mess and nothing was left over from that storm. You moved away as soon as you graduated highschool, no college, no work, no money. Nothing, you didn’t tell anyone, you just left. 

Those were dark days by yourself, alone with no one around, especially when you had built such a toxic codependency on Eren, who you relied so much on at the time, you’d become anxious at just ordering your own food to the point of becoming physically sick without him.

And to shred yourself away from him like that, even now, you weren’t really sure how you were alive at this point. But somehow, in the darkness of it all, you found yourself stumbling along the way. She wasn’t pretty, she wasn’t much at all, an empty hollow person. But she was better than what you once were, even if she wasn’t much better.

Then again.

The reason you were laying in your bed, much like that once dark evening, was because you were no longer in that dark place. No...you thought it was time you came home. Start college fresh and focus on an actual career rather than the way you had bounced from side job to side job when you were in California living in the dumps.

You didn’t think much of it anymore, sure some old anxiety would resurface occasionally about possibly running into old friends. It was inevitable, some were happier than others. You had gotten to reconnect with Connie again and shared a few laughs, some wounds that had reopened but were now bound and healed even better.

Everything was okay, you had only made two friends. Historia, bright and sweet, yet could be demanding when she wanted too and her girlfriend Ymir who was always one hundred percent real, she never hid behind a façade or lead anyone astray, and you appreciated that.

In fact, things were good...until you saw him.

Parties, were never your thing, honestly. Even when you were more extroverted back in highschool, they just weren’t what you considered fun on a friday night though you made a lot of exceptions when you were younger, and you didn’t regret it. You did have genuine fun a lot of the time. But if someone were to ask if you wanted to get takeout and drive with no destination, you’d be happy in a heartbeat.

Ymir had been the one to convince you to come to this frat party, she really was what one would consider a ‘bruh’ girl, always hanging with the boys in genuine fun as she wrestled around and had no problems keeping up with them while you and Historia would be off on your own.

“Oh come on! Stop being so prissy and just plug your nose if it smells that bad!” You winced at the harsh slap on your back came from Ymir and truth be told you halfway thought about putting use to her shitty advice.

Weed was thick in the air and you didn’t realize how many smokers had been at the party otherwise you would’ve dipped, not that you didn’t mind a good high every now and then, you just really couldn’t stand the smell. Your face scrunched in mild disgust probably gave it away that it was the smell that was the problem but honestly you had always been sensitive to smell.

“You know what? Why don’t you 1v1 in beerpong without me, it fucking reeks in here Ymir!” You whined as you rubbed your nose making her groan, “I’m gonna go on the deck to get some air, I’ll be back in by next round! Swear!”

Ymir huffed as she blew a piece of her bangs from her face, “You fuckin’ better bitch! You’re the only beerpong player I have and you know Ria is a lightweight.” You snorted as you laughed a little, rolling your eyes despite knowing she was right.

Historia enjoyed a good party every now and then but she didn’t ever drink here. Too concerned about what they put in drinks and the possibility of a douchebag slipping something in her drink to want to risk it. Granted Historia was more of a trashed on white claws in the privacy of your apartment and hey, it was a good time!

You waved her off as you wiggled through people crowded around, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be back! Bet!” The double doors to the deck was open and you weren’t surprised they had a pool here but it was still impressive, if it weren’t for the fact that you could spot red solo cups littering the pool and you could only imagine what was going on in there, people in the pool some in clothes, some stripping out of clothes and some way to close together to be friendly.

You nearly shivered, god that was like a UTI just waiting to happen. Guess you weren’t so jealous after all, you’d just stick to the community pool on campus.

You had been so focused on the pool you hadn’t even looked in front of you causing you to smash into someone. Your shoulder throbbed as you instinctively grabbed it, jesus who was built like a bull anyways? “Ow! Watch where you’re going dude.” You whined a complaint as you turned to look back at the guy.

It was like time had slowed down in that moment, his face too familiar despite being taller than you remembered and though his hair was longer than ever, tied up into a low bun with strands framing his face, you’d never forget those eyes that haunted you on long nights alone in an alleyway.

And it seemed, Eren Jaeger also remembered you as well.

Looking back, he was just as stunned as you and you both probably stood there in silent shock for a good ten seconds before you could grasp the situation immediately backing away before Eren had began reaching out for you, speaking your name as fast as lightning but you didn’t give him much chance for anything else.

You had begun running as fast as your legs could take you. You had imagined a lot of days where you’d run into Eren again much like you did two days ago, but in those scenarios, you always imagined yourself calm and...mature? Perhaps flirty but only enough to remind him of what he had destructively lost. Maybe it was just the more toxic side of your being wanting to selfishly cling to the idea of him still liking you, of a relationship still being salvageable.

But upon actually seeing him, the only thing you remembered, was the tears he brought to your eyes, the screams of arguments between you both, baggage that was both your trauma and addiction.

“Y/n? Come on, you’re making me worried...You’ve skipped two days worth of classes. I know he’s an ex but…” You sighed as you heard Historia’s concerned voice through the door, she had your best intentions at heart, but that didn’t make it any easier to talk about.

You hadn’t mentioned Eren outside of referring to him as a past ex before to both Historia and Ymir who didn’t think much of it, other than that he was a total dick, which he was. But he was a dick you had loved, your first love, if you will.

They always say, the first love sticks in a way others won’t. You were beginning to believe that despite a part of you still wanting to viciously deny it.

Sighing you knew you’d need to appease Historia even if she knew it was fake, just to get her off your back because hey, some effort was better than none. You stood up dragging yourself to the door before you opened it, her lips faltering a little in their angry pout when she saw your face. You thought your expression was fine, but it wasn’t until you watched her brows pinch to concern that you obviously were wrong.

She looked even more worried, “That bad of an ex huh?” She frowned before offering the soup she had made and demanded to bring to you over the groupchat. Ymir was behind her on her phone before she scoffed, “Took you long enough, can’t believe you let some dick make you miss class.”

Historia smacked her arm making her complain as she rubbed the patch of skin as you rolled your eyes tiredly, opening the door as you allowed them both in before shutting it. Why the hell not? And so with warm soup in your hands and curled in blankets, you told them both the past you held with Eren.

You told them about the good moments, the giggles you shared together, the happy memories of being at the cafe together sharing milkshakes and the way Eren would always chase you around at the park. And you told them about the psychotic breakdowns, the yelling matches, the way Eren would belittle and humiliate you in front of all your friends.

You slurped on your soup and Historia and Ymir sat there, staring at you blankly, obviously not sure of what to even say at this point as you closed your eyes, busy enjoying the chicken pot pie soup Historia man, god she always made the best comfort food.

“Eren Jaeger…” You glanced up in surprise at the way Ymir almost gagged, making you frown, “You used to date Eren Jaeger!? God how low were your standards- Ow! It’s true and you know it Ria don’t bullshit yourself.” Ymir complained as she glared at her girlfriend.

How low were your standards? You didn’t even want to answer the question because, well they were pretty low...Obviously…

“Back in highschool, we were sweethearts for almost three years. But after graduation everything just went to shit,” You sighed as you shook your head, “So I ended up leaving and didn’t look back...until four months ago when I enrolled here. I thought I was ready to come back and face everything but…”

Just the memory of those turquoise eyes, bright beautiful sea blue that melded with emerald green staring down at you, strands of hair framing smooth warm skin and those soft lips, “I kind of wanna ghost again.” You admitted, your lips twisting a little as you frowned.

“You can’t just run away when you don’t like something Y/n!” Historia cried out, a frown on her face and a look of concern, “I understand, it sounded like it was an extremely toxic relationship but…” She looked at her fingers as she fumbled with them, “But you can’t just leave college because of him besides…” She still didn’t meet your gaze as she mumbled, “Eren isn’t exactly the type of guy to chase girls anyways…”

You said nothing in return, not sure of what she meant because the Eren you knew and the one who had created a persona here were not the same person, Ymir scoffed, “He’s apart of Kappa Tau, the frat, jeez, if I knew he was your ex I wouldn’t have offered you to come to the party,” She sighed as she rubbed her neck, “He’s also known to be one of the sleaziest fuckers there, sleeps with girls, ghosts them and breaks a lot of hearts along the way. He’s pretty cold. You sure we’re even talking about the same guy.”

You frowned as you didn’t look at either of them...Eren...sleeping with girls? The notion honestly made you wanna laugh when you remembered his red cheeks and the way his hands were squeezed into fists in embarrassment when Jean outed his crush on you back when you were only a sophomore and he was a junior.

He sucked at talking to girls and hell, even you at the time granted after finding out he liked you it made sense. Luckily for him you also liked him back and the rest was history, for better or worse.

You thought back to two days ago, you had only looked at him briefly but you’d never forget that face, “No, it was him. Looks like some things don’t change.” You sighed, not wanting to linger on the past anymore then you had the past two days you sulked in bed, “Hey…” You spoke up drawing both girls' attention, “I think, I’m gonna go study. I missed class but Professor Ackerman was actually nice enough to send me the study material via email, so I can still catch up.”

“Bullshit! Ackerman never does that! What did you do? Blow him?” Ymir glared at you suspiciously as you snorted.

“No, he just makes an exception for students that actually make an effort in his class, can’t relate much?” You curved a brow only to have a pillow thrown at your face.

You didn’t think you’d come to this, but you were admittedly frightened, frightened by the idea of Eren and what could possibly come now that it was confirmed he went to college here and that he knew you were alive and well, and on the same campus.

So here you were, sitting in the small cozy cafe in front of one of your longest time friends that you had been actively avoiding, “Mikasa….” You mumbled, your eyes on your hands as she sat patiently. She knew you had been avoiding here because well...you had been honest with her when you first bumped into her, of course she was happy to see you, but she understood that you weren’t ready yet.

Four months ago you weren’t ready for the conversation you knew you’d both have before resuming your friendship. Closing your eyes you sighed silently, “...What happened...after I left…?”

Yes, the conversation that would take place before you could go on with your friendship, was simply the daunting answer of, what imploded when you left and never said a word. Mikasa sat for a moment, her matcha latte in hand as she looked out the window, it was cold and grey outside, showing signs that winter would be here soon.

Mikasa had grown as well over these years you had missed, her hair shorter now and framing her face, making her look almost like a delicate fairy yet her expression remained calm and neutral as it always did, she looked pretty. 

“Well....it’s a complicated answer, if you mean in terms of everyone.” Mikasa hummed, a semi humored smile on her face before she continued, “In terms of the friend group as a whole? To put it short, things never recovered. Sasha and Connie act like they don’t even know each other anymore despite frequenting most classes together and social activities outwardly, Jean ended up making up with Connie again so he’s been in an awkward position between the two as of,” 

She tapped her chin a little, “Armin felt so guilty for keeping it from Connie that he dipped in general, I’m the only one who still has social connection to him, he keeps to himself a lot now. As for me,” She puffed a breath as if somewhere between amused and bitter, “Me and Eren don’t talk anymore. And anytime we do, he still likes to use the words, ‘traitor’ and ‘liar’, oh, and a bitch too.” She rolled her eyes, nonpulsed at her brother’s reaction.

You still felt bad though, grabbing your drink you held the warm cup close to keep heat against your cold hands, “...And...what did he do, when he realized I left?” You looked up at her, your eyes had a semblance of fear in them, your stomach churning in an upset that you just wanted to be gone.

Mikasa sighed, leaning back in her seat as she thought it over before answering carefully, “Well, when Eren realized you left he…” She pressed her lips together, something bitter lingering on her face as she scoffed, “He lost it,” The pit in your stomach only curled worst at her confirmation to what you had already expected, “I mean, he went off the deep end,” She laughed a little despite having no humor in her tone, “Eren went around desperately searching in every possible place for where you might be staying, we ended up having an even worst argument after all of your socials disappeared and after the second day of you being gone he left.”

Your mouth dropped open as you sat upright in your seat in disbelief...he...left? “Yeah,” Mikasa confirmed your thought, “He left to find you. I don’t know what he thought he’d accomplish by doing so, maybe to convince you to come back? He never said, he just dropped off the same way you did.”

Mikasa sighed as silence took over as she sipped on her drink, seeing your eyes process all of her words she offered a small smile, “Anyways, Eren did come back, it was about six months later. I didn’t try to get ahold of him unlike everyone else because well...I figured he probably needed to be alone, to sort out all of his feelings and what had happened. And no surprise, he did return.”

“But…” You looked up at her, Mikasa’s nose wrinkling a little as she frowned, “He had changed when he did. He enrolled in college but it feels like his life is going nowhere, he joined his fraternity soon after and now all he does is just smoke weed and sleep around. Word travels pretty fast across the campus when it comes to him.”

You ran a hand through your hair as you puffed a breath, reflecting on all her words before Mikasa spoke, her gaze looking mildly weary, “I knew you said you ran into him but…” There it was, that old concerned look on her face, “You aren’t gonna get involved with him again, right…?”

You were quiet for a moment before you shrugged, “I don’t know what to do. Other than to just leave it alone. It’s been four months since I came back and this was the first time I’ve even seen him. And it was only because I was in his fraternity’s house.” It was the truth, you didn’t know what else to do at this point.

Mikasa didn’t look sold and maybe for good reason, she had saw first hand just how toxic your relationship could get at times, and Mikasa, more then anyone had always looked out for you, if she didn’t, she would’ve never let all hell break loose by telling you Eren had cheated, which ultimately lead to the demise of, well everything.

A big part of yourself, had hoped that Eren would forgive her and move on with his life, but Mikasa’s saying they didn’t talk anymore...well...It was concerning, they had always been close growing up and to hear they were distant now seemed wrong.

And furthermore, there really was no reason for Eren to need to forgive her in the first place, he was the one in the wrong...or...at least you assumed so, he never would admit it to you, but given he had gotten so upset, made you assume he was guilty.

“Well…” Mikasa drew a breath, “I’m not your mom, do what you want but…” Her words lingered a little as she spoke, “Please, be careful. I don’t really know how much Eren had changed, if any at all. I don’t wanna see you get hurt again.”

There was a lot that was required to speak to Eren again and a lot you weren’t sure you were ready to face, maybe afraid that a part of yourself, still had never gotten over him, maybe the shame of leaving him without so much as a word. Or maybe it was just the pain of having to face Eren again and have to reject him?

At this point, you didn’t know and you didn’t want to know, sighing you sunk back in your seat as you looked down at the table, “I don’t wanna be hurt again, I think, I’m just gonna try and avoid him, it’s for the best…” You didn’t want to deal with things, even if they were staring you right in the face. 

You could face everyone, anyone but Eren.

Mikasa in fact didn’t leave straight away, after the painful conversation she had moved away from the subject and began to talk about her life and what she had decided to study in- forensic science, typical of her, just the notion made you giggle because of how fitting it was for her, she’d be excellent.

As the conversation continued, you slowly began to relax and smile, little by little. You missed Mikasa’s company, and despite the discomfort of Eren returning to your life briefly, at least something good came of it.

----

“Oww! You made me pull a muscle in the hallway.” You whined as you stretched out on the soft bed, your favorite place to be during the weekend. You’d rather be nowhere else then in Eren’s room as he collapsed on top of you with a laugh.

“What? Because I made you run for the first time all week? I saw your ass walking on track during PE by the way.” You jolted with a giggle at his fingers jamming against the sides of your stomach, Eren’s face had been hidden in your neck but you could feel his warm smile before a soft press on your neck.

Eren always put on a tough face but you adored the fact that the moment you were both alone, he was crawling on top of you like a baby begging for attention, hence your fingers in his hair and your head burrowed into the pillow as you closed your eyes with a little yawn, his body nice, snug and warm against you, the best blanket you could ever want.

“My legs were hurting.” You made up the excuse but honestly you just really hated running or any sort of cardio in general, you were always low in stamina and it wasn’t your strong suit.

“You’re legs always hurt.” Eren’s voice was muffled as he replied with a snort, “We should go to the gym later today.”

“No.”

“I’ll spot you on the bench,” Eren tried to coax you but your body felt like cement in this bed, meaning you had no intentions of getting up anytime soon, “We could do squats on the power rack for a fat ass. What about barbell lunges? C’mon…! Why are you so stubborn?” He groaned sliding off of you only to tug you onto your side with him.

Trying to shove him away you laughed as he pulled you back, your vision darkened by his sweatshirt as you whined, “Noo! Can’t we just stay in?”

“We stay in almost every weekend!” Eren complained as you finally popped up from the warm comfort of his arms, a pouty glare on your face as he guiltily smiled up at you, affection brimming in those beautiful eyes of his, “It’s true...you know it is.” He hummed, reaching out to poke your cheek.

Collapsing back against him you huffed, “Maybe…” It was true, but you couldn’t help it...You wanted Eren’s attention solely on you, and you had to share him during the week at school, was it selfish to just want him to yourself for two days straight, weekend after weekend? “I don’t wanna share you, so let’s just stay in...again.” You somewhat shyly admitted, squeezing him tight so you wouldn’t have to look at him, you were too embarrassed too.

“Hm? What was that?” There was a teasing tone in Eren’s voice making you squirm as you rapidly shook your head, a quiet laugh escaping him as he squeezed you tight making you jump with a whine, “Nu-uh, what was that? I couldn’t hear?”

“I don’t wanna share you! You’re an asshole!” You growled with a pout trying to shove him away but he wouldn’t let you escape his arms, his lips pressing over your hair as he cackled in glee, as if your words sent him into a kind of euphoric trance.

“Hmmm? Who said anything about sharing?” Eren laughed as he pressed his lips against your neck, his words playful, “I thought you already knew I was all yours yeah?” He looked down in amusement at you as he let out one last breathy chuckle, “Okay I’m done, we can stay in as long as you want.”

-

That was how you spent the majority of your weekends during highschool, over at Eren’s house because it was always quiet there, his dad was overworked to near death on twelve hour night shifts at the hospital and his mother...well...You had never known her, she had passed away six months before you and Eren had started dating.

Mikasa was the exact opposite, she chose to stay out as long as possible, one time admitting the house felt too lonely to be in for more than just sleeping and so she was never there. Leaving the both of you in a quiet peaceful environment. It had gotten so bad that you’d become anxious and would end up crying during the latter half of your relationship with Eren if he had the weekend occupied in a way that you couldn’t be with him.

Tapping your pencil on the table as you stared down at your notebook, it was quiet in the library, you had spent the majority of the day there, browsing on your laptop, studying or even just reading random books that seemed interesting. It was how you enjoyed spending your weekends now when you were by yourself.

You used to find it lonely when you were younger, the silence suffocating and after being in a relationship with Eren you had almost grown too used to his smothering love and not only that, but the way he’d so willingly give it as well.

Dropping him, your life, everyone you knew, wasn’t an easy decision, but you weren’t in a good state of mind at the time. You had suffered a lot of anxiety attacks on your own, bouts of tears in hurt and frustration when you’d see something that reminded you of him, but somewhere along the line of being in California, you began to enjoy the silence.

It was a slow process, and step by step you learned to be okay being by yourself, that nothing was wrong with it. And now you even enjoyed your time alone. You still had days where you wished it could be different, but again, you had learned to be okay with it. You were shuffling through some flashcards you had made to help yourself study as you hummed along to the song you had playing in your headphones.

You nearly jumped at the sight of a pile of books smacking against the table in the chair that faced across from you, it was nearly ripped out before someone sat down, immediately leaning forward and against the table as if to get closer to you. You had instinctively curled back in your chair but even more so at the dark hair tied back and strands messily hanging out, turquoise eyes earnestly looking at you.

Eren hadn’t spoken a word to you and yet, it was almost like you could hear everything he wanted to say.

----

Note: yaaay it’s the start of a hot mess!!! lemme know if you guys wanna be tagged in future parts! this series will only be about 5 parts but i’m excited for it! :)

[denays-xo]

Trying To Get Back Together | Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Pairing: Tsukishima x Reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 1.04k

Warnings: swearing, angst, toxic behavior, toxic relationship, slight spoiler, verbal argument, no happy ending, ooc tsukishima

Author's note: This is the last update for Tsukishima's story in TTGBT (series? ;3). I plan on posting other stuff too like head canons, one-shots and maybe SMAUs. So stay tuned! I'd like to mention @chelly-ilysmiwdfy! Thank you for liking my previous update. Keep being your cool self!

I'd really appreciate it if you like and reblog. Please do not repost without proper credits 'cause I worked really hard on this :(. Thank you and enjoy!

Summary: Y/N has been living peacefully (or at least tried to) after graduating college and having the opportunity to work their dream job. Strongly getting by everyday and extremely determined to overcome the obstacles that will come their way. When they least expected it, a tragedy came, they were invited to their highschool reunion and there they reconciled with Tsukishima Kei, their highschool ex-boyfriend.

TTGBT: Tsukishima Kei

Part 1: The Meeting

Part 2: The Backstory

Part 3: The Ending

"What did you do with the apartment?" He asked as he continued to stare at the view in front of you two. Your hands still grabbing on to the railing like it's your lifeline.

"I sold it. A friend lives there now." You left the apartment the night you broke up. But the last message he sent you was him insisting that you keep it.

"I see. I guess you wouldn't want to stay there."

"Yeah." Tsukishima's heart shatters upon hearing your answer. 

"We could get another one." He smiled awkwardly. 

"Huh?"

You felt his hand grab yours and place it on his chest. Your mind went blank and all you could feel was the fast beating of his heart. 

"Be mine again, Y/N. Please."

It is as if someone has poured a bucket of ice cold water over your head. You stood there, frozen and staring, just trying to process what he said. 

"I—what? What is this?" Your mind was blank and you were only able to let out a few words. 

"I want you to be mine again." 

"I—no." The fear on his face was too much. "I—should—I'll get going, Tsukishima-kun." 

"No. No, Y/N, please hear me out." He held both your hands this time, no plans on letting you go. The both of you stood there for a couple of seconds just staring at each other, trying to find the right words to say. You were at least slightly prepared to see him at this party, but you weren't prepared for this. 

"Tsukishima-kun, I don't think this is a good idea. Please let go of me." 

"Y/N, be mine again." His loud sobs filled the balcony. You look around and surprised that no one has attempted to go outside yet. "Please, Y/N. I'm still so fucking in love with you, I just can't let you go." 

He looked desperate, completely different from the Tsukishima that was cool-headed and sarcastic before. 

"I—I don't want to anymore. Please let go of me." Your eyes started to tear up and you couldn't figure out why your chest was tightening so much. 

"I promise to… to give you everything you want. I'll make you happier this time around. I promise I won't lash out on you anymore. I—please just be with me." He looked at you with expectant eyes.

"It wasn't because you're mad, Tsukishima-kun. It was because," you hiccup unconsciously because somehow you were crying too. "because you kept running away. I don't think you still get me after all these years." 

The tears continually streaming down his face, what a tragic sight. Your heart ached for the man you once loved.

"We still have a chance right?" His voice was shaky, almost a mumble, he was struggling and you could tell. 

"We already had our chance and we blew it. You know we blew it. Let's just go on with our lives, please." 

He went down on his knees and held my hand even tighter. 

"No, no, I'm not ready to let go of you yet. I don't want to lose you. I want you back, come back to me, please. Sleep next to me again, I miss your warmth whenever you hug me. I miss your cooking. I miss how you play with my hair. I miss our bickering. Everything, I miss you so damn much. I think you're the only girl I'll be able to love. I-I know I was stupid, but I can change right? Y-you'll come back if I change right?" 

"Please stand up, Kei. Don't kneel, please." You looked up to the sky partly avoiding the sight that's in front of you right now and partly trying to calm yourself. "Why are you doing this? You were the rational one, right? You were the one who's good at handling hard situations. Why have you become like this?" When you finally look down, you see him crying on his forearms still holding onto your hand.  

"I just—I desperately want you back and… and I promise not to hurt you anymore."

"I promised myself I won't hurt like that anymore too. I'm finally starting to value myself and I refuse to be treated that way again." You took a deep breath and proceeded to let your heart out. "What you did really hurt me, Kei."

He lifted his tear-stained face, once again he was listening to you intently. 

"I was alone at the most important and vulnerable times of our relationship. I know, you were the same. I knew and I understood that. You're going through the same pain as me. You were alone too. But I tried, Kei. I tried to fight for it, didn't I? I sought for you, I reached out. But I don't think you were willing to fight for us too. How could I fight for something as important as our relationship alone? How could I continue to fight when you weren't even willing to fight with me." 

The both of you quietly stared at each other for god knows how long. You knew he understood. You removed your hands from his grip and wiped the tears on his face. You lowered yourself leveling with him and kissed him on the forehead. 

"The next person you love," both of your tears fell in sync "love them with all your heart. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable when you're with them. I know you like to act cool thinking that people will like that more. But nothing makes a person fall harder in love when you are honest and open about your feelings towards them. Love again, Kei. And—and love them better." 

Tsukishima looked up to you with all the hope gone in his eyes. He knew there was no getting back now. He knew he hurt you so much but you were still kind to him. He knew his heart would never fully heal. He knew he would regret losing you for the rest of his life. He knew you will never be his again. He knew but he never spoke. Then, you did.

"Let's not meet each other again."

You stood straight and headed towards the door immediately. You didn't think you could take it if anything more happened. The last thing you heard was his scream as he cried loudly again. 

You left anyway. 

TTGBT: Tsukishima Kei

Part 1: The Meeting

Part 2: The Backstory

Part 3: The Ending

[h2bakugou]

Hi hi! I love your writing dude! 🖤 I was wondering if you could do a request for Bakugou x female reader? Maybe one where the reader was in a toxic relationship where her and the partner were both at fault, but the ex partner goes around the school saying she was the only toxic one and he didn’t do anything and almost everyone believes him over her bedsides like class 1-a and bakugou. The reader starts to cry and have panic attack but bakugou helps calm her down. Sorry this is so specific

a/n: hi love! thank you so much <3 of course! toxic relationships are the fucking worst. thank you for this request love!! 

summary: the downfall of your most recent relationship was a rumor started by your ex blaming you for the end to the very toxic relationship when he was to blame too. class 1-a is on your side but soon it’s a little much for you to handle.

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, panic attack/mentions of panic attacks, toxic relationships/mentions of toxic relationships

word count: 1.3k

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»»————-　★　————-««

Walking down the hallway felt awful. You could feel every pair of eyes on you as you hurried to your class where you knew you’d be safe. 

The downfall of your most recent relationship was a nasty rumor started by your ex, claiming that the sole reason you were no longer together was because you were toxic, claiming that you manipulated him to stay with you and to love you.

And they believed him.

Every single student he talked to and the students they talked to, the chain continued until word spread around into your class.

But you were lucky enough to be able to explain what happened. To tell them the truth about just how bad it was.

To explain that while you weren’t exactly in the right, neither was he. He was to blame as much as you were. While you had never manipulated him, he had certainly done so to you.

Claiming to ruin your reputation if you left him, or going as far as to try and get you expelled if you didn’t hang out with him and his friends. He was an ass.

So when you deliberately ignored his texts and calls, much rather wanting to spend time with your friends and Bakugou, you were accused of cheating.

Which wasn’t the case at all. You’d never cheat. You weren’t like that. But he made it hard to escape. You couldn’t break up with him. You confided in Bakugou because he listened. 

He was boiling with rage, but he listened to every single word you had to say about how awful it was. And all he wanted to do was pull you into his arms and kiss you right there. But he couldn’t.

He would’ve given the excuse that you weren’t really in a relationship with the jerk anyway, claiming that he’d gone way too far to even be considered a suitable boyfriend and that the relationship ended when he started treating you like shit.

But Bakugou knew better than anyone that what he was thinking was wrong. Holding it all in and bottling it all up was what he did, so he held back. He trained harder at practice to get his anger out, vowing to help as best as he could without overstepping his boundaries.

But then you broke up. 

Bakugou was asleep. It was every bit of three am, but he heard the knocking on his door and woke up. Grumpy and still half asleep he opened the door but all of it changed when he saw you, clad in a long sleeve shirt and sleep pants, tears streaming down your face.

You were a mess, completely broken and hurting in his arms. You were silent save for your muffled sobs as you clung to Bakugou as you laid in his bed.

Bakugou insisted on stroking your hair, trying his best to calm you down. He wanted to know more, the only words you’d said to him had been ‘he broke up with me’ but it wasn’t enough.

He wanted to know every detail so he could go slap this guy into next week, hell next year. He wanted to beat the shit out of him. He’d treated you so fucking awfully, he wanted to teach him a lesson.

Bakugou was your rock, your safe haven. Your place to vent, your shoulder to cry on.

And eventually, when the rumor began to spread, he was there for more.

Kissing Bakugou was a way to clear your mind. Sitting in his lap making out when you should’ve been studying, trying so hard to get your mind off of the stupid rumor.

But now you stood in the hallway, pacing around the empty corridors clenching your shirt.

“What’s wrong (Y/n)?” His voice. He was there. There to torment you and make you feel even worse. Your ex.

“Go away. I-I don’t wanna see you or speak to you ever again.” You turned away, b-lining for the water fountain to lubricate your dry throat. You’d asked to step out of class for a minute because your phone had been going off with random texts and messages from other students calling you out and calling you names.

It was overwhelming and you were beginning to have a panic attack.

Your vision was blurry, yet you tried to focus, trying to calm your nerves as they reacted too fast, making the room go from almost unfocused to a spinning blur.

“You don’t look so well. Why don’t you let me help?” He stepped closer, placing his hand on your back before trailing it up to the back of your neck. Yanking you away from the water fountain, he turned you to face him, his grip still tight on your neck.

“If we get back together I can end this whole charade. You’ll be popular again, it’ll be like it never even happened-”

An explosion. Your ears were ringing. Your ex laid on the ground beside you, bruised from one hit, smoke clearing, and Bakugou standing where your ex once did.

“Back the fuck up.” Bakugou approached your ex, looming over him as he knelt down.

“She’s great isn’t she-”

The punch to his face was well deserved for that comment. And so was the next one, and the next one until Bakugou was positive his nose was broken and the black eye he’d given him was already beginning to bruise.

“I don’t know what made up shit about her you’ve said but you better fix it or I’ll fucking kill you.” Bakugou’s tone wasn’t evil, he told everyone to die. It was a figure of speech. But you weren’t quite sure if he was joking or not.

Lowering a sparking palm closer to his face, your ex began to no feverishly.

“Alright! Alright! I’ll clear her name! I lied about a lot of stuff!” Your ex admitted. Bakugou backed up, but not before giving one final punch to the gut, causing him to curl up on the ground and groan in pain.

“Bakugou.” Mr. Aizawa called toward the blonde. Bakugou ignored his teacher and looked at you, enveloping you into a hug as he pulled you away from your ex.

“Bakugou.” Mr. Aizawa’s voice was much more stern this time.

“I’m coming old man.” Bakugou retorted, pausing to make sure you were okay.

“Thank you.” You whisper in his ear, wrapped in a hug. 

Mr. Aizawa waits a few seconds before clearing his throat once more to signal that Bakugou was in trouble.

“Meet me in my room tonight.” Bakugou spoke heading toward the teacher to receive his punishment.

That night you did as Bakugou had asked and met him in his dorm room. You knocked softly and he opened, a small smile present on his lips.

“How are you?” Bakugou asked, holding you in his arms as you laid on his bed. You snuggled into his touch and sighed.

“Feeling a little better. Now that the truth is out, I feel oddly freed.” You admit, turning to face him. You placed a small kiss on his lips, resting your hands in his, lacing your fingers together.

“That little punk shouldn’t cause you any more problems, and if he does-”

“I’ll be sure to let you know.” You kiss the tip of his nose and smile, cuddling into his chest.

“Who knew the best thing had really been in front of my eyes the entire time.” You whispered. Bakugou’s eyes widened ever so slightly.

“I am the best at everything.” Bakugou replied cockily. You let out a quiet laugh and leaned up to kiss his lips again.

“Can you just ask me out already?” You pout, waiting for him to say the words.

“You wanna be my girlfriend?” Bakugou smirked, his thumbs rubbing the sides of your hands.

“I do.” You kiss his lips one more time, enjoying the feeling and basking in his touch. His kiss was healing, it made you feel whole.

It was right, it was perfection. It was love.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[purple-baby-d]

overthinking over you.

Lee Donghyuck (Haechan — NCT) X female reader.

Genre: Fluff, smut.

Word count: 8,672.

Content: student!hyuck, student!reader, sportplayers!nct, kissing, first time sex (male), dry humping, foreplay, fingering, depictions of violence that may be upsetting for some readers, I kinda made Johnny a dick so sorry to y’all beforehand, just some lovely and probably cringey au to have a valentine’s day feast before valentine’s day because I realized I haven’t written an au for my best friend in a while and the 90′s Love era Haechan has been attacking me for long enough so I decided to do something about it.

Brief: Captain of the hockey team, Honor Roll student, an amazing friend and the pride and joy of his parents, Lee Donghyuck certainly has it all to other people’s eyes, but what about the girl he’s dreamed of? No, he’s pretty much a great overthinker for that. But now that she broke up with her boyfriend, will his head get on the way of him getting to her heart?

Dedicated to @theravengoddess, happy Valentine’s day, bestie! I love you and thank you for being with me through the ups and downs 💜

After some long hours of practice, the hockey team was finally sent to the lockers by the coach, the old man’s chest was filled with pride by his back-to-back champion, the Neo Cultural Tech All-Stars. But of course, he didn’t want his players to slack off, so he wouldn’t let them know that.

The man of the hour, Lee Donghyuck, got out of his warm shower to dress up and go home, finding his fellow team players in the lockers. “Hey, nice practice today, Hyuck”, Jeno complimented, patting his shoulder. “Thanks, man. You were quite impressive out there too”, he smiled at him. “You guys wanna crash at my place to study for the finals? My last brain cell died trying to figure out the Algebra study guide”, Mark sighed, pulling his red hoodie down as he slipped his arms into the sleeves. “I’m down, I seriously need divine help for that one”, Sungchan said, tying the laces of his sneakers. “Me too, the question is if our savior will be there to help us”, Yangyang teased, looking at his team captain.

The blonde looked at him with a little smile, shaking his head. “You guys are truly a pain in the ass”, he sighed. “Oh, come on, Hyuck! I’ll pay for the pizza”, Yangyang pleaded, truly concerned about his grades. “You know if I don’t get at least a B, I won’t be able to stay in the team, what are you gonna do without your heartthrob?” he asked while pouting and batting his eyes. “But WinWin has good grades”, Mark teased, making his fellows laugh and Hyuck sigh. “Fine, but if you start staring at your phone instead of studying, I will whoop your ass”, Donghyuck agreed, and the rest of them high-fived each other.

“Ayo, Ten!”, Mark called out, looking at the guy who had just gotten out of the shower. Donghyuck saw something weird in him, he looked as if he was in a rush. “We’re having a group study session at my place, Hyuck will help us with the Algebra study guide, you down?”, he asked. “I’ll have to pass, guys. Johnny is pissed, it seems like he and Y/N broke up”, he said, making Donghyuck stop in his tracks, shocked. “What? What for?”, Mark asked again, concerned for Ten’s stepbrother, the star of the school’s martial arts team. “You know Johnny, she probably found out he cheated on her or something, but I’m still his brother, so I gotta be there for him”, Ten sighed, getting dressed within five minutes with his hair still dripping wet. “Anyways, maybe the next time, take care, y’all!”, he said before rushing out of the lockers’ room.

Jeno looked at his blonde friend, knowing exactly what he was probably thinking. His seemingly hopeless love was finally available again, how exciting was that? However, he looked rather terrified, and it was because his overthinking head was working at full speed.

Oh God, is she okay? Did Johnny hurt her badly? Should I text her? What if she doesn’t wanna talk about it? What if she doesn’t wanna talk at all? What if she doesn’t like boys anymore after this? Irene started dating Seulgi after Junmyeon broke up with her, what if Y/N does that too? Should I go with her? But I already told the guys I would help them... Jesus, Lee Donghyuck, you’re such an idiot.

Lee Donghyuck had many virtues, sadly his biggest enemy was his head.

“Guys, I think we lost him”, Sungchan said, as he saw Donghyuck spacing out. “What?” he said, once he realized his surroundings. Mark patted his shoulder, “Lee Donghyuck, you’re truly one of a kind. If y’all ready, let’s go”, he said, and their group left the lockers and headed to the parking lot, where everyone got into Donghyuck’s black Jeep to head off to Mark’s place. However, the team captain was still thinking about his long-time friend, who he’s had a crush on for the longest time. He simply shook it off, he was a man of his word, so he would help his friends and once they’re done with studying, his head would be clear enough to know what to do.

Because there was nothing better for Lee Donghyuck to clear his mind than a good Algebra study guide.

“Oh, man, thank God it’s over!”, Sungchan yawned, stretching after finishing the last problem of the study guide and the last slice of pizza left on the third box, “I get it all now, how did you do that?”, Yangyang asked, looking at Donghyuck with utter confusion. “Well, it’s quite simple if you actually get your head in it”, the blonde replied, saving the study guide back in his backpack before grabbing his phone, still wandering between texting you or not. It wouldn’t be weird, you’ve known each other since kindergarten and been friends for years. However, your ex-boyfriend, the widely-known playboy Seo Johnny, had kept you from talking ever since you started dating last summer, and honestly, Donghyuck didn’t want you to have problems because of him.

He loved you a lot to do that.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow, Jeno, do you want a ride?”, you asked the only one within your group you knew didn’t plan on staying over at Mark’s or lived close enough to walk home. Jeno logically nodded, picking up his bag and saying his respective goodbyes. Of course, something seemed to click in Jeno’s head when Donghyuck offered to give him a ride home: you lived in front of his house. Obviously, he wasn’t going to point that out, knowing Donghyuck, he would take back his offer, and he honestly didn’t want to walk the ten blocks that distanced Mark’s place to his.

“You think I should talk to her?”, Donghyuck asked halfway through, looking at Jeno briefly as they got to a red light. Jeno sighed, taking his sight away from the window to look at his friend. “Honestly, Hyuck? You’ve been in love with her since fifth grade, you should gather the balls to tell her once and for all, it’s so fucking frustrating to deal with your overthinking ass head”, he replied, taking a deep breath afterward. What hurt Hyuck the most was knowing that he was right and that even after all those years, he’d always see you run into another guy’s arms.

First, it was Lucas, your boyfriend from sixth to eighth grade. He had a wealthy family and was the school’s fencing champion. And then, it was Johnny, who you’d been with since barely months after you broke up with Lucas. Sadly, it has always been the same for Donghyuck: as soon as he gathers the courage to ask you out, you’d already started dating someone else. You have a long, toxic relationship with the new guy, he breaks your heart, you go to him. It was the routine he was used to, the routine his thoughts reserved for him every time. But after parking his car in front of Jeno’s house, he decided that was about to change.

“You sure you’re okay? I’m sorry if I said something-”, Jeno tried to apologize, but Donghyuck cut him off. “It’s alright, Jen. You said what was in your head and I respect that, mostly because you’re right”, he sighed, looking down for a while before taking a deep breath and reaching out his hand for a small handshake with his friend. “I’ll see you tomorrow”, he grinned, as Jeno got out of the car. “Thanks for the ride, drive home safely!”, the raven-haired boy exclaimed as he walked into his house. Donghyuck stayed outside for a while, and while he did, he sighed as he kept thinking what was the right thing to text you.

But decided to let all of that go, he just typed the first thing that came to his head and pressed sent, locking his phone so he wouldn’t keep looking at it on his way home.

“Johnny is a dick, and I think it’s time for me to say I told you”, Wendy laughed as you simply shook your head. Yeah, they all warned you, it’s true. But the truth also was you never really had super strong feelings for Johnny, nor Lucas, nor for any of the boys you’ve dated before. But then, why would you date them? Because you weren’t a fan of loneliness, and even though most of those guys were assholes —especially and at a ridiculous level, Johnny—, they wouldn’t miss the most stupid excuse to be with you when you were alone, which sadly because of your parents’ job was pretty often. “Yeah, I know I should’ve listened to you, Wen” you rolled your eyes as you threw one of your stuffed animals at your friend.

But as soon as she threw another one back, specifically the bear with the hockey team’s uniform, your eyes were about to bawl out. “Hey, be careful with this one!” you said, making sure it was still in perfect conditions. All of your friends looked at you, quite taken aback by your reaction. However, Demi, your neighbor, smiled a little before explaining your reaction. “All the other stuffed animals were from the idiots, but Lee Donghyuck gave her that one”, she sat next to you, as you both smiled while looking at each other. “Lee Donghyuck? As in the hockey team’s captain, Lee Donghyuck?”, Joy asked, quite excited. You nodded, letting out a small sigh as you thought of him.

“I’ve heard he’s gay, I mean, he hasn’t gone public about a relationship like... ever? And besides, he has rejected every girl that’s asked him out”, Irene said, quite as nicely as ever. “No offense, I mean, I’m obviously an ally... but, how come such a hot piece of cake like him has never dated someone?”. Seulgi looked at her girlfriend, quite shocked at her way to describe him. “Jeno told me he has a crush on someone since fifth grade, but he’s quite an overthinker, he needs to ask his left foot before moving the right one”, Demi chuckled, “But I think that’s cute, he’s been a good friend to Y/N as far as I’m concerned, and if he ever decides to step out of his shell, I bet he will be the exception to the all athletes are idiots rule”.

This last phrase stayed in your mind as Seulgi, Irene, Wendy and Joy left, as they had told Yeri they would go over to her house for a good spiriting session before the cheerleading championship you’d enroll into in a few weeks. You passed, you were scared as hell of those things, and honestly, you preferred to spend some quality time with your neighbor before she went overseas to a musical exchange program. “Ugh, I’m gonna miss you so much, bitch”, you said as you hugged her, making her chuckle. “Hey, I’ll be sending you as many pictures as you want, and I’ll buy you gifts while I’m there, I promise I’ll try every single street food dish London has to offer just for you”, she said, letting out a sigh as she watched through your bedroom’s window. “I’ll miss you and Jeno so much...”, she muttered. You playfully pushed her, “Hey, you’re with your wife right now! Stop thinking about your boyfriend, say you’ll miss me!”, you yelled at her as you both laughed.

Your phone vibrated as a message arrived, and you grabbed it from its previous spot in your bed. As you read who it was from, you simply smiled, something your friend didn’t miss out on. “Let me guess, it’s your gay best friend”, she mocked you, referring to Irene’s comment on the rumors about his private life. You simply looked at her for a second to return your attention to the text.

You typed the answer quickly, quite excited about the fact that he texted you first when it was usually the other way. Demi stared at you while you wrote the message, quite unsure as to why you looked so hyped up.

Hyuckie:

Hey, I heard about you and Seo, I’m sorry.

You felt a pillow being thrown your way, and you looked up only to find your friend looking at you, pretending to be pissed. “Hey, you’re with your wife right now! Stop texting your crush, let’s watch a movie!”, you laughed again at your silly “jealous” attitudes, and ended up turning on your laptop to watch a movie before going to bed.

You:

Hey... it’s fine, I was warned but I still did it.

How are you? I kinda missed you.

Of course, you’d chosen strategically to play the one movie Demi falls asleep watching so you could read Donghyuck’s answer to your texts, and you were a little too excited over it.

Hyuckie:

I missed you too, you should start cheering for the hockey team too!

Would you like to grab a bite tomorrow after class and catch up?

My treat ;)

You:

Are you asking me out?

You asked teasingly, making Donghyuck’s head insane as he laid in his bed, reading your message over and over again thinking about his next move.

Was it too soon? Is it too little? Should I say no? What if she was joking? What if she doesn’t want a date? What if I screw up and she never wants to talk to me again? Reply quickly, idiot! She’ll think you’re ignoring her!

Leaving his thoughts aside, he typed what his heart told him to and sent it, quite to your shock as you read it.

Hyuckie:

If I was, would you say yes?

Biting on your lip as Donghyuck’s hands trembled, you couldn’t hold back a smile. If your friend was right, this would end with the bad streak of dating idiots you’ve had so far, and you’d finally be happy with someone who actually gave you your place. So without thinking it any further, you replied something that made your friend’s heart skip a beat.

You:

Meet me tomorrow after class.

“You asked her out?!”, Jeno exclaimed in shock as he read the small text conversation on Hyuck’s phone. He nodded, and Jeno showed a huge surprised face, “What? I thought that was what you wanted me to do”, the blonde said, quite not getting his friend’s reaction. “I’m just... shocked. I thought it would still take you weeks, days at least. Hyuck, I’m so fucking proud of you!”, he hugged Hyuck as he patted his back. “Damn, our little Hyuck is finally growing up, this and the fact that we slew those Algebra finals is a matter of celebration!” Mark said excitingly. “You just wanted an excuse to throw a party, didn’t you?” Sungchan rolled his eyes, smiling at his friend’s enthusiasm.

“I think I’ll catch up later, I promised Demi I’d be with her tonight”, Jeno sighed. It was a mystery to everyone why he looked so down lately, and it was merely because Jeno wasn’t the sharing type. He liked to keep his problems to himself, in his books it was alright because everyone had their own stuff to deal with. However, quite frequently, the exception to that rule was Donghyuck, but he kept things to himself whenever they were with the rest of the guys.

So once the guys headed off to the library to study a bit more for the rest of their final exams, Hyuck patted Jeno’s shoulder. “I know something’s off, Jeno”, he looked at his friend in the eye, which made Jeno sigh. “Demi is taking off to London for the summer break, and God knows how much longer”, he finally told him. “And I don’t mean to keep her here, because I know that’s her dream, and had it been mine, she’d support me until the very end, but...”, Jeno stared at the ground as they kept walking, not really wanting to say what sounded so selfish in his head, but was truly the only thing that he had in his mind. “You don’t want her to leave”, his friend completed, wrapping his arms around him.

“Jeno, if there’s something I know for sure it’s how much you and Demi love each other”, he chuckled, trying to cheer his friend up. “You’ve been together... God, for as long as I can remember. You’ll survive this, you just gotta let things flow”. Jeno looked up at him with a little smile, “How come you’ve never dated anyone and you still give great dating advice?”. They both chuckled, only for Jeno to look back at him and pat his back, “That’s some great advice, Hyuck, you should follow it too”.

As they reached the exit, both of them went separate ways. Jeno’s words kept ringing in the back of Donghyuck’s head as he walked towards the outdoor field’s bleachers, sitting down as he waited for you still thinking about how he would manage everything. He made an elaborate plan right after finishing the study guide last night, with his mind clear enough to let him make his choices without any further doubts. He took a deep breath and followed the little pre-game ritual he had ever since he started playing hockey: he looked straight ahead and emptied his mind from everything but what he had planned for the day: making sure you knew he’d treat you better than the rest of the idiots you’ve given your heart to.

That was his plan for the most important task he’s had to date.

“Party at Mark Lee’s place tonight, girls!”, you heard Yeri exclaim as you got changed from your PE class in the lockers. The girls looked quite excited and you texted Demi to know if she would come as well, figuring that it would be somewhere in Hyuck’s plans for the night. “Someone looks quite rushed, do you have somewhere else to be?”, Joy asked you, as she slipped her red cropped turtleneck over her head. “I’m going on a date”, you muttered as the other girls looked at you, quite mesmerized. “A date?! With who?” Wendy had the courage to ask, and you smiled as you pointed at Donghyuck’s picture from last year’s yearbook. “Lee Donghyuck?”, Irene gasped, looking at you quite amazed. “Girls, there will be six more weeks of summer this year”. Your friends giggled as you shook your head. “I mean, you’re the first girl he’s asked out like... ever?”. You sighed as you put on some lipstick, blending it with the tip of your fingers.

Seulgi looked at what you were wearing and threw a piece of clothing at you, nearly making you smudge your mascara. “Hey!”, you exclaimed, quite shocked. “You don’t plan on going to Mark’s party later with that, right? Let alone to date the hockey team’s captain”, you looked at your plain red shirt and your white mom jeans, quite confused as you straightened the clothing ball your friend threw your way. “That’s my beloved white furry jacket, it will look cute with that and your matching bucket hat. And it will help you look like you made at least a little effort to look different today”. You dedicated her a little grin as you slipped the jacket on, finding yourself looking like a 90′s teen movie star. “Thank you!”, you told her, walking out the locker room as she yelled one final, “You better take care of it!”.

You jogged your way to the fields as you realized the bell rang twenty minutes ago, afraid of making Donghyuck think you’d forgotten or played with him. A part of you even thought he probably wouldn’t be there. However, you found him sitting in the bleachers, staring at his phone. “Hey, sorry, did you wait too long?”, you asked concerned, only to be greeted by one of his beautiful smiles. He got up, fixing his hair as he rushed down to your encounter, smiling your way. “I was talking to Jeno, I just got here”, he shrugged, a little white lie he made to keep you from feeling bad.

Because that’s how much he loved you.

“Oh, thank God, I was so scared...” you sighed, looking at him with a little smile. “Wow, I’ve seen you every day, yet you look so different”, you grinned, looking at how much his physics had changed from the little kid you remembered: he gained muscles, he was also taller than you remembered him to be, not to mention his golden-tanned skin looked somewhat more tempting than it did before. “Well, you’re still as beautiful as I remembered you to be”, he muttered, picking a lock of your hair behind your ear. That little moment had you feeling those cliché butterflies in your stomach like you’ve never felt them before. “Shall we go now?”, he asked you, reaching his hand out for you to hold.

His hands, good lord. You thought. There was definitely something about them that made you even more excited about holding them. As soon as you held his hand, it felt as if two pieces of a puzzle had been joined. As if the event was long overdue.

You walked over to the parking lot, where your jaw dropped as soon as you saw his ride. “Since when can you drive?”, you asked quite shocked. “I got my driver's license before the last championship, my parents gifted me this after we won”, he replied, opening the passenger’s seat door for you to go inside. “Wow, what a gentleman”, you said, acting as if it was a joke. But the truth was it somewhat made you feel good. No one had ever opened a door for you, and there was Lee Donghyuck, holding your hand to help you get inside his car after he opened the door for you.

Different from other guys you’ve had the chance to ride along with, Hyuck didn’t seem to care about your shoes being dirty when they touched the car, nor about you intending to touch the car. He made you feel as if his car was yours too, and you liked that. He closed the door once you got in and surrounded the car to get in the driver’s seat. You had this stupid smile on your face, and Hyuck noticed that. “What is it?”, he asked you, quite confused but still smiling. You shook your head, “Don’t mind me, I’m just recovering from the algebra test”. He chuckled, as he started the engine, “How come everyone says that? It was a piece of cake compared to the study guide”. You looked at him while laughing, shaking your head lightly. Ever since you were kids, Donghyuck was a genius with numbers. When the teacher asked him, he said it was because he liked to have an answer to problems, and that was when you knew you needed someone like him in your life.

However, due to the situation making you realize things in a totally different way, you surely were questioning the real intentions of that wish.

You stared at him as he focused on the driveway after lending you the AUX cable so you could choose the music, his focus unbothered even with your sort of intense glare. He truly looked like a 90′s boyband heartthrob. His sportslike red and white outfit along with the chains you remember giving him for one of his birthdays a while ago... he looked good. You also smiled a little as you noticed the color coordination you had unwittingly pulled off, you truly looked like a couple... and you liked it.

Donghyuck wasn’t blind, he noticed each one of your smiles but pretended not to since he liked to see you smiling, and his head was certain in the fact that you would try to hide them if he said something about them. “Where are we going?”, you asked him, quite curious about his intention. He wasn’t using any sort of GPS, so he knew where he was going, but that only made you more anxious as to where he was taking you. “Do you remember that place where your parents threw your birthday party in fifth grade?”, he asked, making you look at him with disbelief. “The arcade where I beat you in every single game?”, you giggled. “Yup, that one. I thought it would be nice to go back there, you know... for the memories”, he explained, only to add at the end, “and they also serve some great cheeseburgers”.

The pure definition of the word “nostalgia” hit you as soon as Hyuck parked the car in the place’s parking lot. It was nearly empty, with just some employees going around to check on the games and some people eating in the cafeteria. “Wow, this place is exactly like I remember, they haven’t even changed the games!”, you exclaimed as Hyuck looked at your excitement with loving eyes. You looked at the guy beside you, taking your wallet out of your purse. “Well, the food’s your treat, then mine’s the games”, you said, you didn’t even let him say a word before you went over to the cashier to pay for the coins you’d play with.

The old lady sitting behind the desk looked at you with a kind smile, “That young man came in yesterday when we were nearly closing, he asked us to reconnect some of the old machines, now I get why”, she told you while looking for a few bags of coins, counting them in a machine that later poured them in a little cup. “He sure is in love with you, you’ve got quite a catch of a boyfriend”. You were about to tell her he wasn’t your boyfriend when you turned around, and your eyes found him focused on a crane game, not exactly knowing what he was so focused on getting but certainly going down the memory lane to a 12-year-old Donghyuck pulling an adorable teddy bear out of the game and giving it to you two days later with the hockey team’s jersey and his number in the back.

“I totally agree”, you muttered, smiling as you saw him pulling out the toy he’d gotten. He was so good at those games, at every game being honest. You still couldn’t believe you’d beaten him back in the day. Once the old lady handed you the coin-filled cups, you paid her and she handed you your change. As you counted the money, you realized something was off. “Excuse me, ma’am... you gave me extra change”. She shook her head, looking at you with that same smile. “Half of it is on the house, I let you pay the other half because the young man told me that you were quite stubborn”, she giggled, “Now, go and have fun! Live while you’re young”.

You smiled, thanking her as you walked back towards Donghyuck. He smiled back at your happiness, handing you an adorable stuffed animal. “How come you’re so good at those games?”, you asked him while giggling. “It’s just a matter of space measuring, calculating the probabilities of the toy slipping out or falling off the crane, choosing the most available toy out of the bunch... and I’m boring you”, he smiled nervously as he saw you looking at the toy, an adorable white bear with a red bow. You looked at him again only to find him scratching the back of his neck.

“You weren’t, I like that about you, Hyuck”, you answered honestly. “I hate it when people are overconfident while giving answers to those questions, like when they say ‘I just can’ or that sort of stuff”, he looked at you while you spoke, making you feel listened to. He was truly listening to every single word that came out of your lips as if it was the most interesting speech ever.

Because he loved listening to you.

You spent every single coin playing different games, just like you did when you were kids, breaking your own records in every single machine you played in. You laughed the whole evening, and yet again, you managed to beat Donghyuck in every single game. “Booyah! In your face, twentieth game in a row!”, you mocked him, making your old little victory dance as he smiled, sighing. “Damn, you haven’t lost your touch”, he said, pretending to feel defeated, “Are you hungry yet?”, he asked you kindly. You nodded, and both of you made your way to the cafeteria, as you jokingly bragged about your smashing victory.

The old lady was patiently waiting for you to show up, with two gorgeous bacon cheeseburgers, french fries, and two milkshakes, what Donghyuck had told her to serve you the night prior. You looked at him in shock, “You remember all of this?”, you smiled as you sat down, thanking the lady when she left you your food. “It’s the house’s special, how could I forget it?”, he replied, as if wasn’t anything special. However, you knew deep down his intentions were all the opposite. You started eating, nearly crying at the sensation of memories flooding your head as soon as you gave it a bite. “It’s been so long since I’ve last had a burger this good”, you admitted. It wasn’t pretty usual for you to hang around these places anymore. It was pretty far away from your reach, yet Lee Donghyuck made it his task to make you remember the good old days.

“Why did you bring me here? I want the truth, Hyuck”, you demanded once you were done eating. He looked at you while taking a sip of his strawberry milkshake, swallowing before giving you an answer. “Well, a few years ago, on your birthday, your mother hired an entire show from the old animatronics because your friends loved them”, he started the story, one you certainly remembered. “However, you were scared shitless of them, so you ran out of the room as soon as the lights turned off for them to start the show. You thought no one noticed, but I did. And I ran behind you, only to find you looking at the zombie videogame your friends wouldn’t want to play with you because they didn’t like it”.

He looked at his hands, playing with his fingers as he left out a small chuckle. “Back then, you had this silly nickname for me, because of a bear you saw at the zoo that was named that way”, he said, only for you to complete his sentence. “Haechan”, you smiled, and he nodded. “You looked at me and smiled, and you said ‘Why are you here, Haechan? You should be watching the show, mommy thought you’d like it’. And I took out the coins I had in my pocket and told you-”. “I bet killing zombies with you is more fun”, you muttered, making him smile as you remembered it too. “Mom was so pissed she didn’t find me when the animatronics started singing the birthday song”, you chuckled, making him laugh as well. “That night, as we played, I remember thinking ‘wow, her smile is so pretty’, and it wasn’t until you first made that victory dance of yours that I realized how much I liked you” he confessed finally, leaving you speechless for a second.

You were that girl, you really were the girl Lee Donghyuck was in love with.

“You like me?”, you asked, still shocked. He nodded, not really knowing what to do with his hands. “I’ve been wanting to let you know for the longest time, but whenever I gathered the guts to do it, you started dating someone else. So I decided to keep it to myself, to be there for you as a friend if you needed me. Because even if it hurt me to see your heart break, I wanted to be there to help you fix it”, he explained to you, as the tears started coming out of your eyes. “You mean... when I started dating Lucas... you were planning to confess to me?”, your voice cracked, making him stop everything and reach out to hug you. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close, caressing your back. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to say anything, nor to feel guilty or bad for me. I was upset, I’m not gonna lie... but I also decided to set you free. If you came back to me, it was because it was meant to be. And you came back every single time, so I waited until the right time until I finally decided it was now”, he told you, as you pulled back slightly to look at him in the eyes.

“Hyuck...”, you couldn’t manage to get any words out of your mouth, but he made you feel as if it was okay to leave him hanging after such an adorable confession. You felt like the biggest trash bag on Earth, and the way he treated you made you feel worse and at ease at the same time. “You need to heal, and I get that. You went through a lot with Johnny, and I know that. I’ll wait until you’re ready if you want me to, and I’ll totally leave my feelings aside if you want me to. I’ll leave it up to you”, he told you, caressing your cheeks and adjusting your hat back in its place. “Mark has a party over at his place, do you want to go?”, he asked you softly, wiping your tears away.

You sighed, looking down for a minute. “Hyuck, I’ll give you an answer, I promise”, you told him, which he let out a little giggle. “It’s truly okay, Y/N. Come on, Jeno told me Mark’s already bragging about his b-boy moves”, he told you, reaching out his hand again after leaving a good tip for the old lady, thanking her again before the two of you left. He always found a way to make you feel better, even when he was probably the most upset.

Because he loved you.

“Yo, Hyuck! You came just in time for another round of beer pong!” Mark greeted his friend as he saw the two of you walking into the party, crowded as usual for one of Mark Lee’s parties. “You guys look fresh! Make yourselves at home, drinks at the kitchen, snacks at the table, dance floor by the pool, and the rooms upstairs are exclusively reserved for the hockey team, so you’re staying over tonight, I’m not asking”. Hyuck looked at him, “Sure, because you’ll get so drunk tonight we’ll have to babysit you again”. Mark stopped in front of him, patting his shoulder. “You know me so well, Hyuckie”, he said, messing up his hair before going back to the party. “Ayo, Winwin! Let’s go get more booze!”.

You looked at Hyuck. “Do you want anything to drink?”, he asked you, raising his voice slightly for you to listen to him despite the loud music playing in the back. “Just some Coke” you replied, and he nodded, walking over to the kitchen as you looked around for Demi, finding her sitting on a couch near the beer pong table. You hugged her, noticing she looked a little excited. “I want every last drop of the scoop, how did it go?!”, she asked you, her smile nearly going from ear to ear. “He likes me, Dem, I’m the girl Jeno was talking about. And I blanked as soon as he confessed to me”, you said, quite embarrassed. “He planned the most adorable evening ever, he did all of these adorable things for it to be perfect... and I couldn’t even say anything”. Demi looked at you concerned, only to change her expression as soon as her attention drifted to someone walking over towards you. “Girl, I don’t mean to be rude, but we really should-”, she started as she helped you get up, only to be cut off by a voice you knew pretty well.

“I see it didn’t take long for you to go over with someone new, huh?”, he told you, looking at you dead in the eye. “Well, the difference, Johnny, is that I at least waited until breaking up with you”, you replied, certainly not scared of him. “Lee Donghyuck? That shitball, seriously? So you’re messing up with my reputation for being some faggot’s cover?”, he asked you, chuckling at the idea, making Jeno and the rest of the hockey team walk over towards you as soon as they acquired awareness of the situation. “You ain’t not even a quarter of the man he is”, you replied and felt him grabbing onto your neck, freezing at the closeness. “Oh, yeah? That wasn’t what you said when I made you my bitch”.

“Hey, asshole!”, you felt released as someone pushed Johnny off of you. Demi held you protectively as Jeno walked over to the two of you, checking out to see if you were okay. “Oh, if it’s the man of the moment, I was looking for you to give you my congratulations, I guess some people settled with used things”, Johnny mocked, only to receive another push from Donghyuck. “You can say all you want about me, but leave her alone or else”. Johnny laughed in his face, “You? You will beat me? You would risk getting your ass kicked for some wasted-ass bitch? Face the facts, Lee! Lucas used her, I used her, God knows how many more have, she’s a fucking slut-!”, he was about to say something else when Donghyuck threw the first punch, with such strength it left Johnny bleeding. You gasped, knowing well enough Hyuck wasn’t the fighting type, let alone the type to start a fight, let’s not even mention starting a fight with the school’s martial arts champion.

As soon as he got punched, you felt your heart stuck in your throat. He tried throwing punches at Johnny, but the ladder returned them faster and harder. Jeno, Yangyang, Sungchan, and Ten rushed to break down the fight, looking at how Hyuck’s blood started to stain the floor. “Enough!”, Mark yelled walking into his house with Winwin and the booze they went for, with that authority voice that made him so respected and loved by everyone in his class. “Johnny, get the fuck out of my house! I give two shits, you have absolutely no right to disrespect my team captain, nor a friend of mine, nor a lady, not under my fucking roof! Get the fuck out before I call the cops!”, Ten walked him out before he looked for further trouble, mouthing a “sorry” your way. You rushed over to Donghyuck, looking at Mark once you realized how his face was bleeding.

“Do you have any first-aid kit?”, you asked him. “Upstairs, third door to the right”, he guided you. You held Hyuck’s hand and guided him over with you, quite concerned about the mess left. Jeno looked at you, knowing exactly what you were thinking. “We’ll clean this up and keep things going as if nothing happened, you go and make sure he’s alright”, he told you, “That idiot thinks everything so damn much, I can’t believe he didn’t think this through... just go with him, it’s gonna be alright” you nodded lightly. You would, you had to make sure he was alright because that fight made you realize just how different he was from every idiot you’ve dated.

Because it made you realize how much he loved you.

Having taken off Seulgi’s coat to keep it away of the blood, you found yourself tending to Hyuck’s wounds in one of the bedrooms bathroom. However, he looked more concerned about you than he was about anything related to his well-being. “Stop”, you ordered. “Stop what?”, he asked, authentically confused. “You know it’s not the first time anyone slut-shames me, right?”, you told him, passing a cotton bud over a slit in his lip. At least once the blood was off, it didn’t look that bad anymore. “It’s quite curious, due to how many campaigns women around the world hold against it, to think that the first ones to publicly degrade me were all girls”, you sighed, not wanting to look at him as you spoke. “Every girl that liked Lucas, every girl Johnny cheated on me with, every girl who wouldn’t make it past the cheerleading tryouts...”, you cleaned the mess you’d made, throwing every last piece of cotton you’d used into the trash bin.

“At this point, you could even say I’m used to it. I would even hear made-up stories about how I would be up for gangbangs with Johnny and his friends, how I sold some old man my nudes for him to pay my college tuition, how I was the one who made Seulgi and Irene bisexual...”, you finally sighed, letting out the tears you’ve held back so long it started hurting. Hyuck noticed that, and just like he did in the cafeteria, he held you close. “I’m tired, Hyuck”, you finally admitted, and he caressed your hair. “I know”, he muttered. “I’m so fucking broken I’m afraid to break the only guy who’s ever really loved me right”, you cried out, just wanting to let everything out as you pulled away from his hug, wanting to look at him as you confessed what has been going on in your heart. “Because I fucking love you, Hyuck... but I’m not even close to deserving-”.

You were cut off by his lips crashing onto yours, a sweet and delicate kiss was what you got as a response. Once he slowly pulled away, he looked at you in the eyes, his hands lightly resting on your cheeks. “You deserve the universe and more, nothing less”, he muttered. The tingling sensation that kiss left on your lips was something you’d never felt after kissing anyone before. And it was the final push for you to finally give in, for you to finally let yourself be loved.

You pulled him close again, your lips crashing on each other as your hands wrapped around his neck, his hands falling from your cheeks all the way to your waist, hugging you the way you did with him. The kiss felt so natural you just sunk into it, as well as he did. Even when his head was going insane with all kinds of questions, he decided to shut them off and follow his own advice.

He’d let things flow.

You broke apart only to guide Hyuck back to the bedroom, he looked at you as he read through your intentions. “Are you sure about this?”, he asked you, caressing your cheek. You nodded, looking at him with loving eyes. “This is the first time I’m a hundred percent sure I want to do this”, you told him. He took a deep breath and walked over to the door, locking it first than anything. He looked nervous, and what the girls had said earlier came to your mind.

“Is this your first time?”, you asked him, to which he nodded, an adorable blush tinting his cheeks. You smiled at him, he looked so adorable you wondered who was that intimidating hockey player everyone saw in the field. “It’s okay, just guide me wherever you feel like going, I’ll follow you”, you told him as you got close to him again. You learned to be cautious ever since you lost your virginity, you’d taken birth control very seriously since day one because your mother and your friends guided you to do so. So even now, when the moment came, you were calm knowing it would be alright, and you wanted Hyuck to feel that as well.

He held your waist, pulling you closer lightly and guiding you into a kiss that got more intense with time, he pulled away for a while only to sit down on the bed, pulling you into his lap to start kissing you again. Your hands grabbed his cheeks, caressing them as the kiss kept going. His hands ran down your back as the heat started rising between you, Hyuck’s kissing abilities were way beyond average, those lips of his felt like cotton candy against yours, and every time your tongue met his, you felt one step closer to heaven. He pulled you away briefly to strip down his torso, and your hands felt curious to wander around his strong build.

He played with the bottom of your t-shirt, looking at you before doing anything else. “Can I?”, he asked gently, his constant asking for consent made you even more sure you were doing the right thing. You nodded and helped him out pulling the red shirt off, revealing your black plain underwear. Once your tops were thrown somewhere on the bedroom floor, he went back to kissing you, his kisses slowly going down your neck as you reached your back to undo your bra, letting your chest fully naked for him to kiss. He took that as your consent, and his kisses went all the way down to your breasts as his hands caressed your back once more.

Little moans left your mouth as Hyuck started kissing sensitive spots of your skin, the fact that he used his mouth to roam around your skin was enough to make you feel like this was the best you’ve ever been treated in bed, and adding up the amount of love you could practically touch in him made you enjoy everything even more. You could feel something starting to press against your core as you started grinding over Donghyuck’s lap. “Fuck, you’re driving me insane, princess”, he groaned, in such a raspy voice it made you want more. You kept grinding against him, loving the small grunts that would come out of his mouth as he kept kissing you.

From one moment to another, you felt the bedsheets in your back, as Hyuck took off his pants, feeling the pressure of his throbbing erection painful enough to rush things up a little bit. Still, he managed to be somewhat delicate "throwing" you over the bed. Once there was nothing but his black boxers keeping him from complete nudity, he crawled on top of you, looking at the button of your jeans to ask "Can I?". You unbuttoned your pants while looking at the guy with a pretty smile, biting on your lower lip as he smiled at you, undoing the zip and taking the heavy fabric off your legs, then looking at your black lacey underwear to ask yet again: "Can I?". You giggled, sitting down only to reach for his lips.

He kissed back as your hand guided his to your dripping center. He looked at you, as his head made an effort to figure out what to do at this point, but remembering the shows he watched with the guys, he figured to start moving his fingers up and down, to his luck, on what turned to be your clit. Small moans made their way out of your lips, and due to your arousal, his fingers managed to slip inside you. He kissed you as he kept moving his hand at a medium pace until you pulled him away, only to leave him face up over the bed. You looked at him, playing with the elastic band of his Calvin Klein underwear.

"Can I?", you asked him softly, only for him to chuckle in embarrassment. He nodded lightly, making you smile as he watched your every move. Once his boxers were no longer a burden, you sat on his lap, making him curse as you started moving on top of him. "You'll set the pace", you told him, leaning down to kiss on his lips. And as soon as he aligned his throbbing erection to your entrance and slowly entered you, he swore he could see the stars. With his hands on your hips, he commanded you to go slowly, as you both moaned out how good it felt. Nice and slow, an expression you hadn't known before, certainly became your favorite after that night. And you kept kissing through the whole thing.

Because that's how much you loved each other.

After that steamy moment, you laid next to him after he helped you cleanse, your body holding his closely as he kept your hand in his heart and his arms surrounded you, one of his hands playing with your hair. He looked at you adoringly, unable to find fitting words to how beautiful you looked to his eyes in that moment. You closed your eyes for a few minutes, listening to his calm, steady breath and feeling his heart beating under your hand. For a moment, he even thought you'd fallen asleep, and that made everything ten times better to him. You slowly opened your eyes, finding that adorable smile you loved so much.

You smiled back, looking him in the eyes. "I thought you would be tired", you muttered, caressing his chest lightly. "I'm way too over the clouds to fall asleep right now, Y/N", he replied softly, making you lean over to kiss him lightly again. You looked at the hour in the digital clock that sat on the nightstand, it was 1:27 AM and the party seemed far from over. The music was still as loud as it was when you walked into the room to tend his wounds. You chuckled as you thought about the people you'd left downstairs, "Do you think Jeno and Demi are waiting for us?", you asked Hyuck, making him laugh a little. "Well, I hope they sorted things out if they are. Jeno was quite concerned earlier", he sighed, making you think the situation through.

Demi would leave in just a few days for that summer program, and Jeno would stay for the hockey team's summer camp, which was pretty much mandatory if he planned to keep his place as a headline player in the team. You knew how important he was to the team, but you also knew Jeno loved your best friend more than anything. And you knew for fact distance wasn't compatible with relationships.

"I think Jeno bought that plane ticket in the end", Hyuck shrugged, making you look at him in shock. "What do you mean?", you asked him. "Well, ever since Demi first applied for the program, he talked to the coach about it. Of course, the coach took a while to understand his issues, but as soon as we won the championship again, he gave Jeno the greenlight", he explained you, staring at the ceiling as he spoke. "Mark and I offered to help him with the expenses, and the coach even booked him in a good hockey camp in London", he smiled at the thought. "However, he's held back because he knows how much this means to Demi, and he didn't want her to lose focus because of him. If there's one thing the coach taught us well, was to get our head in the game as soon as we entered the field, and he didn't want to keep her from doing that. But I think Demi and him talked about it today, because he looked happy while talking to the guys before the fight".

You looked at him still in disbelief, making him giggle. "Is there something on my face?", he asked, and you jokingly punched him. "I thought he and Demi would break up! How could you know about all of this and not tell me?", he giggled and held you close again, as you "fought back", pretending to be angry. "Don't be mad at me, princess. Jeno had his reasons to keep my love for you a secret from Demi, I had mine not to tell you about this", he asked you softly. "They will be having fun in London, you and I will stay here. I think we should join them downstairs if neither one of us can sleep, just so you can have the tea spilled from them".

However, you shook your head. "No, the door is still locked and I still want some sort of compensation for keeping me from knowing my OTP found a way to make it through the challenges of life!", you asked as you grabbed his cheeks, making him smile and sigh. "Say no more", he said, turning the lamp off before kissing you again.

Happy Valentine’s season, everyone! If you love someone, let them know.