#and i know yuri in the dlc is one but like. thats not all of them. plus hes dlc so :/

[lecliss]

I guess I either forgot about it or never noticed it in my first playthrough of the blue lions route but what the fuck do you mean Dimitri can ask you to smile at him again and will say that he's mesmerized by it and has to stop himself from teasing you AND YOU CANT BE GAY WITH HIM????

[waffliesinyoface]

Games I Done Played in 2023

Putting this under a readmore because it is Long.

-Scarlet/Violet - on the cusp of 2022/2023 but it sort of counts? Especially with the DLC only just coming out this year. Anyways. its good. Professor Sada my beloved evil milf. RIP to violet players who got Turo instead.

-Atelier Ryza 1 - went in knowing nothing about it! And then i went feral because its a really fucking good game with themes and good characters and a lively town full of people that you care about. One of my favorite moments is when Agatha, head of the town guard, looks at Ryza and goes "geez, where did that knucklehead kid who was always messing around go? you've really grown up, huh Ryza?" ITS SO GOOD. Also Ryza is the ADHD fucking icon we deserve. Cannot focus on things she doesn't care about. Perpetually messy room. Kind of an airhead. Finds one (1) thing that she actually likes (alchemy) and then hyperfocuses on it exclusively.

-Atelier Ryza 2 - this game has the mass effect 2 problem where it's coming off the heels of a really great first story but then very early on you realize the main plot is actually a bit shit. Ryza 1 is a story about the inherent destructive nature of colonialism and how that will come back to bite you in the ass. Ryza 2 is about having a sick cat. They try to do something interesting with the optional backstory for each of the areas but then they don't tie it to the main quest at all? THAT SAID: while the main plot is shit, it does the other thing that ME2 does, in that all of the character sidequests are incredible. Klaudia in Ryza 1 is just like. The kind of casual fanservice gay that pops up in slice-of-life anime, so I brushed it off. Klaudia in Ryza 2 is having sad tearful confessions in the rain. I got fucking yuri brainworms from this game. Her arc culminates in Ryza making her a ""friendship"" necklace made from extremely precious metals. It's basically solid gold and has a heart design. Its beautiful. #JustHeterosexualThingsToDoWithYourBestie

-Atelier Ryza 3 - okay i will be honest i still have not finished this. You know how it is. I like that its more open world but also I dont know that it needed to be open world. The writing seems to be better than 2 but not quite as good as 1. I DO like that the beginning lets you see Ryza in her home town, and she's gone from the local troublemaker to Someone In Authority. She's an important and respected member of the community and a schoolteacher now, and now she can argue with the council that they're being a bunch of dickheads with their heads in the ground and people actually listen to her instead of telling her to shut up. Thats such good character development, I'm so proud of her.

-Fire Emblem Engage: went in expecting it to be awakening, to the point that I explicitly bought a physical copy for the purposes of being able to return it if it was shit. Then after playing for a bit i was like "wait a minute, is this just awakening again but actually good?" and THEN i was like "oh no this game fucking rips ass actually, hell yeah". One of, if not THE best fire emblem game. It would be an excellent choice for new players but it's also an anniversary game and so most of the cool callbacks and stuff kinda fall flat if you're not ALREADY a fan.

-Mahoyo: technically a VN, not a game. Also technically I did not finish. Need to get back to it. Aoko Aozaki is my blorbo and I love her. If you like Nasuverse stuff you owe it to yourself to get it.

-SAO Hollow Realization - its an SAO game so it is bad but it is far less bad than i thought it would be. Relationship mechanic is skeevy and I dislike that you need to do it to upgrade party equipment. I killed a hard boss early on and got a sword that immediately broke the difficulty curve which honestly fits how SAO rolls lmao. The fact that you can customize your character but they're still actually kirito is. weird. Buuut it meant I could make Kirito into a girl, which she deserves, the fucking egg. Also Argo's outfit is a travesty, and I will hunt the character designer for sport.

-Tears of the Kingdom - better than BotW plot wise, but didn't fix enough of the core issues. Please can we have a Ganondorf who even approaches the heights attained by Wind Waker. The character designers put so much work into him and making him imposing yet kingly, and then the writers went "uh, he's evil because he's evil? stop overthinking it, dummies." The bossfights are all peak though. Yes even the stupid octopus who is weak to roombas. Lightning Temple was my favorite because I love ancient egyptian iconography and light puzzles. Also the boss is actually challenging if you go there early.

-Armored Core VI - i literally decided to pre-order it like 5 minutes before it came out. And then I came to the realization that actually giant robots fuck hardcore. This is responsible for me getting really into Gundam. I have like 16 gunpla built with 4 more still in boxes and 3 more preordered for 2024. Yes, it infected me that bad. Also Cinder Carla IS my mom and I love her. Burning the planet and solar system is the good ending because she says so.

-Disgaea 7 - disgaea is BACK babey. ...okay I haven't finished this one either but after the travesty that was 6 im giving this a gold star. I love that the protagonist is an idiot weeb catgirl, and i love that the antagonist is literally just Demon Commodore Perry. Nippon Ichi please bring back the kitsune class from 5 please and thankyou.

-Mice Tea - i literally just got this so i've only done one ending but its fun, and good. Drink tea, become a mouse. Get horny about it. Happens to the best of us.

-Touhou 19 - i THINK the full english translation is done now, so thats good. Ran Yakumo is playable and im so happy. It's a shame the netplay is uh. Um. Non-existent. Because coding netplay is hard.

-Lunar Silver Star Story - once again, i still need to finish this. It's a really really good JRPG!! "What if we used the PS1 disc size to have anime cutscenes for important moments and character introductions" fucking genius and i love you. Listen to Wind's Nocturne right now.

-PARANORMASIGHT: The Seven Mysteries of Honjo - do you like VNs? Do you like mystery novels with horror elements? Do you like creepy things like curses and ghosts? Do you like really fucking good music? If you answered yes to any of those questions, please get this game. There's like one or two puzzles that were really obtuse on release but i think the game's been updated to provide better hints, so that's nice.

-Story of Seasons: A Wonderful Life - my favorite harvest moon game as a child with a fresh coat of paint, some really nice QoL updates, and its gay now. You can be gay. I can finally get lesbian married to Nami and we can have an adorable precious daughter who turns me into Maes Hughes whenever Im in the same room as her. I named her Ruby because A: red hair, B: Nami loves cool shit you find in the digsite like precious minerals, and C: Lou (the innkeeper) was named Ruby in the original version of A Wonderful Life, and she's BASICALLY Nami's mom. Wait this review turned into me gushing about my adorable daughter again...

[odyssiaca]

i said i was gonna do it, so here i am! i am writing this on the fly, making it up as i go along so who knows how long it will be! who knows. 

i have finally played every route in fe3h, including the dlc- currently im making my way through the new game+ and screaming because this is my life now apparently. this isn’t really a deep and meaningful essay just... my experience playing the game and all the routes. 

( pls note i played on casual and normal for my original playthrough because i am a wimp. for ng+ im still playing casual but this time im playing on hard. )

this is the order in which i played the routes + dlc: verdant wind, azure moon, cindered shadows, silver snow and crimson flower. 

right! so!! let’s start!

White Clouds: the first twelve chapters are obviously pretty same-y, which is fine, except when you’re playing 4 times in a row. i liked the fact that the goddess tower was unique for every route and character you were trying to get s support with. there were some unique aspects to the different house, ie. judith, arundel, rodrigue, finding out about dimitri and edelgard. but other than that i did get pretty bored when it came around to doing it... again. and idk just, like i said the reveals obviously weren’t as shocking the 4 time around but like, they were still enjoyable, which is good at least!

Verdant Wind: this route is... eh. it’s the first one i did because dear god i am in love with claude. the route in and of itself is probably one of the weakest ngl. there were things that didn’t make sense in the context of the route and unlike azure moon and crimson flower it didn’t feel unique (given that this route and silver snow are.... IDENTICAL. except the final bosses) the final boss was dope and i am obsessed with God Shattering Star, but other than that? meh. i liked it at first because it was my first one and yknow, claude. but now it’s just idk, it’s lacking. and i’m gonna be honest: i don’t like most of the class. i like claude, hilda, marianne and lysithea. that is it. the others are just overbearing or kinda boring. lorenz i just, i can’t get over his design, i know he’s a deep character but i dislike most of his c supports, i hate his hair and the way he talks. ignatz and raphael are forgettable. i know they’re also very deep characters but their surface levels make me not want to go into their characters. and just. fuck leonie, i’m sorry i just cannot handle her. she’s overbearing, annoying, thinks that because jeralt trained her she’s better than everyone??? GOD. her supports with hilda are cute, and i like her post-timeskip design but otherwise she’s one of my least favourite characters in the game. im sorry. (edit: okay im revising this because it was late at night and perhaps i was a bit harsh. i dont actually mind the characters i mentioned that much, in fact they can be quite funny, however, i still prefer characters from the other houses more.) so my verdict of this route is that i did enjoy it, i liked the cutscenes and the timeskip designs but it’s still only my second favourite. 8/10.

Azure Moon: look. i’m just saying, this route? is the best. hands down, it’s absolutely amazing. it has it’s flaws, and it’s very different from the other routes and is also very much the most fire emblem like route but that’s okay. this route is devastating, heartbreaking, really fucking sad. and that just draws me in. when i first did the route i was gonna marry mercedes because i am gay and love her but the character of dimitri is just so incredibly well done- before and after the timeskip. i like the fact that there’s essence behind his character, meaning. i actually found this route to be kinda hard in places (cornelia for example and also edelgard) and it’s also very unique. i like the way the two factions of faerghus and adrestia interact, and also the way the alliance is just dragged into it. ( claude doesn’t die which is good!!!!) in the other routes you only really see dimitri as this crazed character but in azure moon you find out WHY and yes, that is good. the characters are all very unique and i like them all they all have their own stories and characteristics that make them as unique at the route. the cutscenes and stills are, beautifully done and truly heartbreaking. and just. AH. i adore this route more than i have any right to, on the whole it’s my favourite. 10/10.

Cindered Shadows: this isn’t really a route, but that’s okay, im sure you guys don’t mind. i love the ashen wolves, they’re amazing. the story is... weak. because it doesn’t fit into the actual plot at all and that annoys me. aelfric is a character i dislike immensely but maybe that was the point? i find the explanations in the route to be its downfall, because it clashes with what we already know in the game. sitri is pretty and im glad we get a tiny bit more byleth and sitri backstory but otherwise the characters and abyss are it’s saving grace. 6/10.

Silver Snow: im gonna go ahead and say it: fuck this route. it’s verdant wind but with seteth instead of claude. it’s verdant wind but bad and boring. it’s dull and unnecessary. i had really high hopes for this route because it’s the church! i dont like the church but a route with them could be very interesting! it was not! it lacked personality, it lacked uniqueness. i don’t particularly like most of the characters and basically just used the students and fuuuuuck the final boss. the only reason i did this route was because i wanted to romance yuri but also edelgard.  2/10 would not play again.

Crimson Flower: ... ... ... WHERE ARE THE CUTSCENES!!!! where is the reunion scene between byleth and edelgard, why is it all stills!!!!!! WHY IS IT SHORTER THAN THE OTHERS!!!! WHY. the story in this route is actually very interesting, and well thought out. but the aforementioned points are what make me want to ram my head into a wall. idk why they thought to give silver snow cutscenes and not this route but it was stupid. i do like the way the portrayed the church and rhea though. as the villains they technically are. i like the characters a lot, they’re all great, and i love the angst!!! the way you get to choose if you want to spare or kill your children whom you love. ( i spared claude and lysithea because i am weak. ) but its just. the vibe of the route is ruined by the lack of cutscenes and thats dumb ik but it is what it is. and also it did NOT need to be shorter, there was no reason for it to be as short as it was. 5/10.

so in order we have: 

Azure Moon

Verdant Wind

Cindered Shadows

Crimson Flower

Silver Snow

i enjoyed the game a lot, the writing was beautiful and the characterization was also really good. but some of the characters and routes were just. weak. very very weak. 

idk what else to say so imma leave it here i guess!! pls feel free to debate with me, i’d like that a lot. 

[cursedfodlantexts]

I think culturally the Kingdom is homophobic even outside of Ingrid being well Ingrid if you look at all the queer characters from the kingdom either explicit or implied all of them are referred to as not fitting into the society, on the explicit side you have Mercedes who was born in the empire and only adopted by a kingdom merchant when she was older, and you have Yuri who turns his back on the kingdom to live underground on the implicit side you have Catherine who says she no longer fits (1)

this really isnt a conversation meant for the inbox, but okay anon, I’ll bite. dont know what inspired you to send this to me (at least, right now and not like. when i talked about homophobic ingrid way back when) but I’ll bite. 

Hope ya like reading! :)

the FIRST thing i want to tackle before i respond to this as a whole:

“ingrid says he caused a scandal at ten by hitting on a man.” 

this.. caught me by surprise. why hadn’t i heard about this before? like i heard about dorothea and edelgard’s romantic undertones in the japanese version, i heard about ferdinand and hubert’s ending being romantic in the japanese version, but i didnt hear about canonical bi sylvain? so i asked some friends for the source and maybe you should do a little research on things yourself before you trust second hand information like this, especially if its coming from Ingrid of all characters. 

In the english version, she says he hit on a scarecrow. the direct translation she says he hit on a man in a dress. now let’s take a second here to discuss how this does not make sylvain “q*eer”... 

going off how common this trope is (at least in western media), when a guy is caught hitting on a “cross dresser” its because he only saw them from behind. no “feminine” features to be seen other than a dress and long hair. this is not a man hitting on another man, this is a man hitting on someone he mistook as a woman. and, for all we know, the “man” ingrid mentions wasn’t a cross dresser but actually a trans woman. this entire thing is one giant transphobic joke! transphobic ingrid for the win!!!!

SOURCE 

and now onto how i feel about the other lions being “implied” gay or bi or trans. 

disclaimer: everyones allowed their headcanons, but going so far as to say intelligent systems intentionally put the implication in is a big stretch and thats what im talking about specifically when i discuss them being “explicitly or implied” lgbt 

look at all the q*eer characters from the kingdom either explicit or implied

well first you didnt mention annette or ashe 🤔 they dont fit in as much as the others do but okay. hapi is from faerghus too but we’re not gonna discuss what happened to her either? and im not even gonna say a WORD about the “explicitly q*eer” part because i dont count mercedes being a bi option as an explicit bisexual character to begin with. I’ll talk more about her in a minute. 

ive talked about ingrid being canonically homophobic before. I’ll link that here so i can make this post slightly shorter. 

Felix being out of place, in general, is derived from Glenn’s death. He, understandably, despises his father for how he treated the death of a beloved son and brother. He despises that Glenn’s death forced him into a role he did not want. He doesn’t want to be like Glenn, so he does things his own way, and his way is being incredibly blunt with people and being a rude little bitch just in general. as for his behavior around sylvain, he just hates how noisy and nosy he is and that he doesnt work as diligently as himself. thats not because sylvain is bi.

Dimitri and Dedue.. where do i even begin with your supposed gay implications? You’re right, it has a lot to do with xenophobia and racism. in fact, thats literally all it is! the people of Faerghus talk shit about Dimitri because he thinks the people of Duscur were innocent, because he doesn’t resent them for the death of the king and his father. the people of Faerghus hate that a Duscurian is within 5 feet of their crown prince at all times. because what if hes secretly evil? what if he kills our prince when we’re not looking? is our prince crazy for letting his father’s murderer so close to him? as for Dimitri’s behavior around sylvain, he has concerns that his playboy lifestyle will cause issues for the Gautier name. literally what else would happen when your a noble openly playing with half the hearts of an entire nation. 

also.. dimitri/dedue? really? their relationship is solely one large White Savior Trope. that shit ain’t healthy. Dedue feels obliged to serve Dimitri because he’s kept him safe from the kingdom’s hateful gaze. Dimitri may want Dedue to stop being so formal, but Dedue is fucking afraid to do anything else because if he acts too out of line with the crown prince, the people of Faerghus will call for his head (even more). 

Mercedes has a lot going on that makes her out of place. firstly, she was born in adrestia. When her father died, her mother remarried to Barron Bartels and had Emil, which was now bad news for the two because Bartels wanted a child with a crest. so now with Emil in the picture, these two were expendable. it can be assumed their life was a living hell because what else would it be for women in medieval times. after she and her mother left Bartels behind, presumably to hide from him, she was a noble raised as a commoner in Faerghus. her adoptive father wanted nothing but the best for her, so she enrolled in teh magic academy and then garreg mach. With the free DLC that adds Jeritza, we learn that Bartels wanted another child with a crest and decided that Mercedes would be the mother. he had deliberately sought her out and found the church she was hiding at (though, jeritza does kill him before he can even reach her). 

as for Yuri, i don’t know enough about the Ashen Wolves to go into detail about this but im pretty sure his being out of place comes from the fact hes a criminal? also isn’t his mother listed a prostitute in the game? i’m pretty sure thats what makes him out of place, just sayin’.  

All in all it just suggests that the Kingdom is not down with the lgbt

first, thanks for the extremely hilarious round about way of saying homophobic lmao

second, I just spent like an hour debunking that blue lions is implied as q*eer, but with how racist and xenophobic Faerghus is, I would not be surprised if they were homophobic too! but I guess we’ll never know because we have no explicitly gay characters in Three Houses. None of the characters talk about how they feel disconnected from family or society because of sexuality, only because of the statuses they were born with. a bi option means shit in the face of representation when none of them talk about being bisexual.

[crystalelemental]

Ok... my thoughts about the DLC. I played on hard, and the side story was INSANELY challenging, which was nice because I was craving that. That said... it was really short. They had a perfect opportunity to do playable Sothis and/or Rhea and DIDN'T, which I can't really wrap my head around. It could have only been for one or two maps (the last two) and I would have been satisfied! But nothing. I was kind of hoping for a new part 2 route based on the Ashen Wolves with playable Sothis/Rhea, but...

But no, that didn't happen. Then finally, in addition, neither Constance nor Hapi have marriages with F-Byleth, and there are no new marriages at all besides with those characters? I mean. I'm not happy. I get that Yuri can marry both Byleths but like. Make the others like that. I prefer playing as FByleth because I feel her eyes are more expressive but I can't marry who I want and thats stupid as hell. If this is the complete DLC, I dont think id recommend it to anyone else, honestly.

I’m actually glad we didn’t get a new part 2 route.  I feel like such a decision could’ve very easily been made to be the “peaceful” route, akin to Revelation, where it’s everyone getting to be happy, but is kind of stupid and badly handled.  So while it would’ve been nice for everyone to live, I feel like that would’ve thrown off the balance a bit.

As for the rest...under the cut.

My big issue is they didn’t explain much.  I was honestly hoping for more of an explanation on the how and what of Sitri.  Church route explains that Rhea made Sitri, but we get exactly no insight into exactly what she did or how that’s even possible.  I would have liked to get to know more about Sitri’s origins.  At one point, my guess for Sitri’s body in Abyss was that Rhea just kept the clones down there in her closet and Aelfric just happened to find one of them.

I love Rhea, don’t get me wrong, but I also feel like a lot of this route kinda backpedaled on the Church route exposition.  What I mean is, Church route has Rhea admit to creating human life, and mostly using it as a vessel for her mother’s return.  She doesn’t seem to care much beyond that.  Even Byleth, ultimately, is meant to be a house for the progenitor god, who she ultimately attempts to erase by having Sothis reincarnate in them.  It’s really not a flattering picture for Rhea, who honestly seems really corrupt and selfish in that moment.

Ashen Wolves instead presents this idea that she really cared a lot about Sitri, and was upset at her passing, so much so that she preserved the body in Abyss.  That...doesn’t really line up with what we know of Rhea, as it applies to the vessels she prepares.  I’m all for Rhea actually being nice, and being kinder than most people seem willing to give credit for, but this route felt like it too that almost too far in the direction of “Rhea is innocent.”  Sure, okay.  She really loved Sitri so much that Sitri was like a daughter, and that’s definitely why she kept the body perfectly preserved.  That seems very believable from the person who is currently trying to have us destroyed to bring back her mother.  I guess the parallels with Aelfric are cool, but eh.  There’s a lot that didn’t feel perfect in this route.  I did hear someone on Twitter claim it was Conquest levels of dumb, but I don’t really agree.  I think it was ultimately fine, it just didn’t address the things I’d hope for, and mostly focused on Aelfric’s dick inadequacies.  I went into this hoping for more depth on mysteries within the main game, but instead we got something...completely unrelated, and it’s not bad but it’s not entirely what I had wanted.

I think deep down, I was hoping for what would never happen, which is for anyone to just say Morph or Quintessence.  I know that wouldn’t happen, but the dragonkin are called Nabateans.  Nabateans.  Nabata.  Tell me this is related to Elibe, dammit.  I don’t care how, just do it.

As for gameplay, it was...fun?  I have a lot of thoughts but I’ll stick with two.  One is, reinforcements on these maps suck.  They’re obnoxious and awful and I hate them.  The map conditions are unique and fun, and there are certain conditions that prioritize moving your ass forward rather than trying to just tank out, which is a good way to make use of characters who aren’t Edelgard and Hilda.  I just feel like certain maps went way, way too heavy on reinforcements as a thing, and it really bogged it down.  The DLC is overall pretty short, but some maps felt like an eternity with this dumb shit.  Also Yuri pulls a “set the town on fire to protect it” move by having Hapi summon a bunch of monsters when we’re down to the last three enemy units.  Thanks buddy, that...that’s good thinking there.

The other is that I...actually love the pre-set classes and everything.  I get that people like customization, and the lack of the weapon triangle facilitates that by ensuring no one’s completely fucked because they made an army of Wyvern Lords and Gremories.  But...what’s stopping you from making an army of Wyvern Lords and Gremories?  They’re categorically the best classes, why do you need anything else?  I feel like the lack of weapon restriction alongside the lack of a weapon triangle allows you too much freedom, and it results in a lot of the core gameplay being kinda...less involved.  Skills aren’t that strong, no weapon triangle, no weapon restrictions on your units, double magic casts means you literally never think about running out because there’s so many...the challenges of the game start to become “I can one-shot anything from anywhere because Meteor or Thyrsus,” or “I’m going to bait these enemies out with my godwall, who will tank exactly 100% of all threats with no issue because nothing can stop them.”  It’s not really as fun.  I like to play for stats, but I also like the knowledge that no pure stat wall is going to body the game if you’re not playing smart in most cases.  I feel like Three Houses doesn’t have that.  A unit with strong mixed defense and good attack basically faces no issues at all.  It makes the main game even more of a chore.  I appreciated Ashen Wolves for locking in your base stats, your class option, etc.  But at the same time.  Callie played it and I directed, yet I have no desire to play it myself now.  Because...nothing’s going to be different.  I can’t use different characters for different purposes, and without the customization aspect of the main game, that means there’s...basically no reason to replay it.  I like having things overall be a bit more set, but as a side-story where all characters are deployed, it lacks variety.

All that to say, I kinda agree?  Like, the DLC pack really feels like it’s more for the characters and classes added to the main game.  Which is 100% fine with me.  I am all about Dark Flier Lysithea and will never give this up.  Also Constance best girl, it’s bullshit she’s not a bi option.

[isaacathom]

its time for me to yell

ooh fuck thems robots. this looks really nice. hyping me as fuck. loving this beat. oh my god they blueballed me what the fuck was that cut. daemon x machina...... nieeat.

ooh, xenoblades. wai- wait didnt they just release that a while ago. that yellow haired lady is VERY familiar. hold on. hold on whats happening. is this a sequel or dlc. those are characters from that recent xenoblades. oh, dlc, kickass.

reggiiiieeee hello. reggie we know what a swich is. reggie. Reggie. oh lets go.... they looks ok i guess. what if i just play like, pokemon go............. ok.

reggie can we see something like, Cool. reggie pls.  PLS SHOW

im ready maybe? am i ready? i dont - mario party. yea ok. thats fair. id probably play it if i had Friends. multi switch is kickass though. i do love that. shame i have No Friends. i do have some nostalgia for mario party though??? which is weird..... because.... ok yknow what it is. its because i have nostalgia for a mario party -esque game from my primary school computers. smth to do with dungeons and dragons. the volcano exploded.

seros???? SEROS???? am i being fucking called out. fire emblem?????? THREE HOUSES??? OH NO???? DONT FUCK ME AGAIN LIKE THIS.  DO NOT FUCK ME AGAIN LIKE WE DID WITH FATES.

Oh it looks fucking great though........ oh it looks fantastic. like it looks really good. the interactivity with filler units gives me uhhh dynasty warriors vibes, but in a good way.

ok so is three houses its NAME??? or was tat like, a Thing..... i hope its just the name and its a single ver game. not a fan of the split game thing.

idgaf about fortnite. i hope they all have fun. today? nice. thats fun.

hi reggie. reggie no. 10am is, what, 2 hours? 1 hour? i cant math, its 2am, be nice.

oh overcooked 2, cute. im into nindies. killer queen black? oh multiplayer stuff. lads. Lads im begging you. im shit at games. i HOLLOW KNIGHT FOR SWIIIITCH. kickass. i like that. i mean im shit at hollow knight but i Like That.  today??? today??????? TODAYYYYYYY!!!!! FUCK. FUCK ME. I WANT IT. YOU WHORES.

octopathhhhh. ooh, new demo. thats nice. i like those devs committment to iteration and improvement.

sizzle real, i see. its bouncing off me lads. i saw a minecraft rip off tho. paladins now? neat. i cant read 90% of these logos. oh thats twewy. i know that.

shinya- whomst are you. are you the new guy or am i getting confused. i dont.... think he was the new president.... no, wrong guy, ok.

SMASH NOW???? ALREADY?????? SO SOON?????? I THOUGHT ITD BE THE END GAME

nice cop out, sir. oh this is cute. show me! show me sir! shiny mario. kirby boy...... beautiful boy..... botw link, love him, pls. hi marth.  ALBW ZELDA!!!!!!!! ALBW ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!! A LINK BETWEEN FUCKING WORLDS ZELDA. IM BLESSED. NITNENDO! NINTENDO!!!!!!! NINTENDO IM SO GAY FOR ALBW ZELDA IM BLESSED. OH I LOVE HER. ILL STAY ON THAT POINT BECAUSE I ADORE ALBW ZELDA SO FUCKING MUCH IT HURTS.  I LOVE HER. SAKURAI YOU HAVE BLESSED ME THIS DAY. THANK YOU SIR. I AM BLESSED. I LOVE HER SO MUCH. i am confused that you didnt use botw one? not sure why. but i wont complain. i fucking adore albw zelda. i love her SO FUCKING MUCH. YALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY GIRLFRIEND!!!! IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘infinity war is the most amibitious crossover of all time’ nintendo: *cracks knuckles*

NEW???? oh. oh we’re going in depth? CAPPY. WEDDING OUTFIT. WHERES THE DRESS YOU COWARD. LET MARIO WHERE HIS DRESS. OH THE DETAILS.  FEMALE PIKACHU. I LOVE HER. I LOVE THIS. HHH. YES. midair charge? kick. heyy yuri lowenthal in my smash games. snake?? snake! snaaaake! im being pummeled but im loving it. pichu!!!! ZELDA!!!!!!! ZELDA. ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ADORE MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!! im gay for zelda so bad

LEAF!!!!!!!!!!!! LEAF LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER! SHES HERE!!! she was removed from let’s go in favour of ???? but here she is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

do they wanna remind us advent children exists. three whole links..... my god.. MY BOY! KIRBY MY SON!!! hahahhh dev joke. oh streamline monado, kickass. oooh ganon mm. 12 whole voices..... oh yea pit. man this is hype as fuck. i love the DETAILS. I LOVE THE DETAILS!!! SO NICE!!!

this is delightful but i Will not sleep tonight. oh jeff...... wii fit is still here....... but i love her so its fine. oh this is SO MUCH. THEY KEEP GOING. IM NOT MAD IM JUST IN AWE. THEY DROWN ME IN THIS CONTENT. THEY REALLY WANT ME TO BUY THIS

BRAND NEW?????? DAISY!!!!!!!!!!!! DAISY!!!!! MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY FUCKING WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FUCKING ADORE DAISY! YOU FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!! MY WIFE IS HERE!!!!!!!!IM IN LOVE. IM DESPERATE

NEW!!!!!! Oh. i was excited for a sec but yea, inkling. i do love her. pls tell me she can have the splat 2 look too, i love that look... splat 2 inkiins? no? ih ok. 

SQUID SISTERS! MWAH!

holy shit it keeps going. they cant have time for animal crossing........... how can we have time. NINTENDOGS ASSIST TROPHY. NINTENDO DOGS.  oh delightful. oh this is content lads. oh my god i fucking Nut everytime i see zelda, oh my god...... yall dont understand......... how much i love her.............. my girlfriend. SPIRIT TRAIN!!!!!!! SPIRIT TRAIN!!!!! THEYVE ACKNOLWEGDED SPIRIT TRACKS. IM DYING. LADS. NITNENDO IS DIRECTLY CALLING ME OUT. THESE FUCKERS KNOW I LOVE ALBW AND SPIRIT TRACKS AND TEYVE GIVEN ME BOTH. LADS IM BEING CALLED OUT.

oh fuck me i need a fucking switch dont i.

oh my god it never ends..... my hips killing me. nintendo i came here for animal crossing. 

is that a camecube controller. IT IS. WHY. BUT WHY. I KNOW HATS COOL BUT WHY.

BEFORE WE GO. SORA FOR SWITCH????

come on..... give it to me..... im ready sakurai........ im ready...... im prepared. im open....... im o- uh? huh? is this star wars? oH MY GOD. oh damn. so ridley, ok. fucking nice. i dont like, feel anything about ridley, but fucking Nice. OH MAN. THERE HE IS. THERES THE BOY. OH MY GOD. A MADMAN. THE POWER.

just 4 fighters from the sex number nintendo, you can Do it. i know you wont but jsut Imagine that shit. just think about it.

anyway 2 mins left, yall fuckers got like, animal crossing. december 7th, nice. into it.

IS THAT IT??????????? WAS THAT IT???????? DAMMIT!!!!!! ANIMAL CROSSING???? doesnt exist.................. my depression.............

anyway i love zelda im fuckin deceased.......... i love her so much............................................... im deceased................ she slew me............ hhh

ok i need to sleep its fucking nearly 3am adios bitches <3