#and i know i am so terrible at galaxy but. consider. i miss my girl

[dykeslimecicle]

why would they make so many video games. dont they know im sleepy.

[firealder2005]

I wouldn’t say he HATED me…but there was definitely some exasperation/frustration from him.

he was my middle school English teacher. Which is ironic considering he told me I read too much. This was prompted because every day before class started, I’d be reading my book, waiting for class to begin, and get so absorbed into it that literally everything blots out.

I know now that’s something adhd does, but lil 7th grade me had no clue she was adhd at the time.

so I’d have everything subconsciously blocked out, and consequently miss the first 20 minutes of class.

Ofc I know I probably should have noticed…but again. undiagnosed adhd 12 year old 7th grader. can you blame me. (Plus it was a good book.)

He’d very loudly tell me to put my book away and I’d feel very embarrassed, swearing I didn’t mean to lose track of time, but honestly I don’t think he ever believed me. Even when I described how my attention span zoned out.

(this is the moment I then ask— why did he let it go on for 20 minutes. every. time. sometimes even 30. sus.)

I know for a fact he also didn’t consider me one of the “good students”. He said, straight-faced, in front of the whole class, that the reason I wasn’t was because of the aforementioned “reads too much”.

like what the fuck dude. way to make a 12 year old feel terrible in front of the whole class— the whole class, who for a matter of fact, already gave her shit about reading books for fun. something all the teachers were informed of…

I don’t know about you, but I’d take the girl who’s too absorbed in her book over the kids who scream for no reason, push each other around, and make it their life’s mission to make other people feel awful.

not to mention during conferences he told my mom about my inattention in a negative light.

this is why my science/history teacher in middle school was my favorite. (Which is doubly ironic, because he was the rest of the classes’ least favorite)

Whenever I did zone out in my book, he would snap me out of it just by saying my name and nicely asking me to put it away, because class is about to begin. And because of him doing that, I— gasp! — actually got better at being aware of my surroundings! And putting my book away myself when class began!

(he retired my junior year of high school, so I visited his classroom one more time to say bye and he said “see all these gray hairs? none of them came from you, you were a very good student.” I left the room with a big smile :3)

(side note: it was obvious I was his favorite student in my class lol— one time, for an end of the year project, I begged to be assigned one of the astronomy chapters, because I was OBSESSED with space in middle school. He ended up giving me the chapter with black holes, neutron stars, and galaxies, and my space-obsessed ass was over the moon >:3)

by 8th grade, I had suspicions that I had adhd, because I related a lot to the characters of Percy Jackson and started looking into it myself.

I was officially diagnosed with ADD my sophomore year of high school, when I was having trouble focusing, staying on-task, and was often caught up in my own head. I took and am still taking meds now in college to help focus my eternally-running mind.

and I still remember everything he said. my high school teachers were much better about my inattention by a mile, especially after I would tell them about ADHD and how it structures my brain differently, processes information differently.

like shout-out to my high school history teacher for letting me DRAW and COLOR during our movie watching! I had something to do as I watched the movie, and my work always was turned in with strong marks!

He even let me WRITE while watching our class videos/movies! Eventually I ended up drawing/coloring in every class I had, though I did have to explain how it helps me pay attention a few times.

I really think middle school teachers especially should be equipped with the knowledge of ADD/ADHD kids, and how their minds work, as well as other neurodivergent kids. It’s these little signs that are clues to neurodiversity, even if they seem small and insignificant.

my middle school math teacher had stim toys at one point— I only needed the rubber band across my desk to keep myself on task, because a lot of the time I’m kicking my leg (I was officially diagnosed with ADD, as you recall, but I swear I think I’m also hyperactive, and not even just the physical sort because oh my god my brain is always running).

unfortunately he ended up taking them all away because some kids were jacking around with them. smh.

Tell us more about your experience! Sumbitted by @anon.

[pinky-the-elephant-room]

SapioSexual

★☆ AN: So, this prompt is dedicated to anyone attracted to nerds and science. Look I’m terrible at chemistry so I made Kuroo a jack of all trades while still being ace at chemistry. Also, thanks to @succulent-momma​ and @drabbles-blurbs-words​ for editing this for me.

★☆ Summary: It’s not Kuroo’s fault, not really. It’s not his fault that every time he opened his mouth to talk like that you just wanted to throw yourself at him. 

★☆ Warning: Explicit sex, Size Kink, and Rough sex. Read at your own discretion. Kuroo x Fem Reader. 

★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ 

Kuroo considered himself fairly handsome and was well-liked by most people. Except by his teammates who nicknamed him "demon captain". And of course, Kenma who would frequently throw some jabs his way. But he was nice to girls. In fact, he was a gentleman to every girl he met, only accompanied by mild playful teasing when the moment required it. Most girls, in his humble opinion, wanted his attention and frankly desired to date him. Except for Y/N.

He would never forget that particular day in 2nd year when she turned him down in front of his team. Kuroo and Kenma were heading home after volleyball practice accompanied by Yaku and Yamamoto, who were heading out as well.

Kuroo, noticing Y/N, called out, "Y/N-chan!"

Y/N turned around to see Kuroo waving at her, to which she only frowned in return.

"So, Y/N-chan, when are you going to take up on my offer of going on a date soon?"

"Over my dead body," she murmured before flouncing away.

Yaku had burst out laughing, enjoying Kuroo's embarrassment. Yamamoto tried to spare his senpai's feelings knowing the pain of being rejected all too well. But it was just too satisfying to watch smug Kuroo get turned down. Yamamoto collapsed in howling fits. Kuroo could even see Kenma hiding a smirk underneath his long bangs while trying and failing to look absorbed in his PSP.

She perplexed the hell out of him. He didn't understand where he went wrong with Y/N. In fact, she only displayed uninterest most of the time he attempted to talk to her.

★☆ ★☆

  However, he finally started making headway in his third year. Y/N, lo and behold, was in his class. Making it easier for him to talk to her. She was resistant to his efforts at first, but one particular day she let her guard down.

"Y/N-chan, how did you do on your chemistry test?" he inquired, looking at his 98.

He could feel her glare, and so Kuroo looked up to shoot a smirk at her.

"An 85. Probably better than your score," she huffed.

"Not today, sweetheart. Looks like I win." He sat back in his chair and radiated smugness.

Y/N leaned over from her chair to look at his score, and he could see her eyes widen in shock.

"How? You had two practice matches this week against rival schools back to back! When did you get the time to study?" Y/N blurted out.

"I'm flattered you know so much about my schedule."

She avoided eye contact and cleared her throat. "Don't get it twisted. It's hard not to know when that's all you've talked about for two weeks."

Kuroo's smirk just got bigger. "And here I thought you don't listen to poor old me. I'm smarter than you think I am. I don't need to study a lot to get adequate grades."

Y/N seemed a bit incredulous.

"Then why isn't your rank higher?" she challenged.

"Well, we can't all be ranked second like you. But you're right. My rank could be better if I tried more. But I don't need to because my grades just have to be good enough to play volleyball and get into a decent university. It's not like I'm going to be a doctor."

Y/N stared at him for a moment before requesting if she could look at his test to see what she did wrong. Kuroo shrugged and gave it to her.

He could feel Y/N's inquisitive gaze on him the rest of the day. But every time he turned to see, her long dark hair hid her face. It was puzzling, to say the least.

As the bell rang and he was about to leave for volleyball practice, Y/N stopped him.

"Kuroo, next time there's a chemistry test can we study together?" she asked him almost shyly.

A bit dazed by her request, he only nodded, to which she responded with, "great! See you tomorrow."

  ★☆ ★☆

Days began to fly by with Y/N still somehow talking to him, their topics ranging from academic to inane intellectual discussions.

"Ne Kuroo, do you think there's any truth to Jurassic Park? Like theoretically, can we bring back dinosaurs?" she asked him one morning after biology.

He blinked at the question and put his mechanical pencil down. Y/N reminded him too much of a particular beanpole dinosaur enthusiast in that moment.

"Not really. Because think about it, not only would we need to have a perfect DNA replica to duplicate, meaning the bullshit explanation from the movie of filling the missing DNA structures with DNA from modern species wouldn't work. But we would also need to recreate the environment these creatures thrived in. The current Earth right now is colder than they're used to. Then we would also have to recreate the same food sources. These dinosaurs didn't evolve to eat grass or cows. Plain and simple, they wouldn't survive."

Y/N's face brightened. "Exactly! Oh, and did you see the new dinosaur they discovered in Hokkaido? It's called Kamuysaurus. It's a different species of Hadrosaurid." She continued enthusiastically explaining to him what made the Kamuysaurus different from other Hadrosaurid species. It was kind of boring, to be honest; he wasn't much of a dinosaur fan, but he listened intently, feeling satisfied knowing that Y/N's attention was solely on him.

   ★☆ ★☆

The next week as Kuroo was walking home with Kenma, he noticed Y/N going inside a bookstore.

"Kenma, I'm going to go ahead, alright?" Kuroo said as he watched Y/N curiously.

Kenma looked up to see Kuroo staring at Y/N. "She's just going to yell at you again."

"Don't worry; I got it handled. See you tomorrow." Without waiting to hear his childhood friend's response, Kuroo ran to catch up to her before she left the store.

The store's bell jingled, and an employee welcomed him inside. He walked around for a bit before finally finding Y/N in the back, intensely reading a book. He walked up behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder.

Y/N jumped and let out a squeak. She relaxed, seeing his smirking face "Kami-sama! Kuroo, don't do that! You scared the crap out of me!"

He chuckled at her reaction and stepped closer into her personal space. Looking over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of what she was reading.

"Stars and constellations? Since when are you into astronomy?" he asked.

"Well, it's a fairly new hobby. Chichiue and I are planning a trip to the mountains to chart stars. I thought it would help me to know what we are looking at."

She tried to move away to put some space between them, but he just grabbed her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Hmm, need some help?"

She turned around and cocked her eyebrow at him. "Let me guess you know some things about astronomy too?"

He just ignored the sarcasm in her voice before going on a tangent. "Well, did you know at the center of every galaxy is a gigantic black hole that is gradually sucking everything inside? That's how we got the image of a swirling galaxy that we know today. Just in the Milky Way alone, there's about ten million to a billion other smaller black holes."

Kuroo stopped to glance at Y/N, who was looking back at him keenly, before continuing.

"And the name of the supermassive black hole at the center of our galaxy is-"

"Sagittarius A," Y/N finished almost breathlessly.

Kuroo joked, "guess you also know some things about astron-"

He failed to complete his sentence when Y/N yanked him down by his school uniform and captured his lips. Her kiss was harsh and greedy as she tried to swallow him whole. He reached over and lifted Y/N to steady her against the bookshelf. He separated for a moment to observe her, captivated as her ample chest heaved up and down.

"Kuroo," she whimpered out while clutching his school uniform.

Y/N grabbed his red tie and tugged him closer. Unable to deny her, he slanted his lips over hers.

 Kuroo was honestly so confused; why was she kissing him in a bookstore of all places? Did she have feelings for him? He supposed she had to have felt some attraction. Otherwise, she wouldn't have jumped him in the middle of a conversation. But if she did, when did it began and how? Because as far as he knew, nothing about himself had changed except they were talking more than usual. Their previous conversations included him being flirty and Y/N doing her best to walk away. But now they could spend hours arguing over their shared answers on their organic chemistry homework.

Still, all those questions disappeared when he felt her tongue intertwine with his and suck. Letting out a groan, he pressed her harder against the shelves and bucked. Y/N gasped and grinded back against his clothed cock. Kuroo could feel his member stirring at the soft sounds she was letting out despite gnawing on her lips. She was impatiently trying to rub against him, unable to get a satisfying rhythm.

"Here…here," he urged, grabbing her legs and tugging them around his waist.

She complied and clutched him closer before reigniting their kiss. Y/N was just so impatient and greedy, she coaxed him to get rougher by nibbling on his lower lip.

"Fuck, sweetheart. Do you always get so needy?" he panted.

He needed a minute. Just a minute to get himself together. Because if he made contact with her hot cunt one more time, Kuroo was going to lose it. He was going pull her panties to the side before plunging his hard cock inside of her. And he didn't think getting disciplined for obscenity in a public place was something either of them could afford right now.

SLAM!

The two of them startled and pulled apart to hear a customer apologizing to the bookstore's employee. A book was dropped on the floor.

He reluctantly lowered Y/N back on the floor and let her go. Y/N was looking anywhere but at him, as she tried to fix her appearance and make herself look presentable again.

Kuroo stepped forward. "Let me."

Y/N just nodded as she looked at the floor. He raised her chin to gaze into her eyes as he fixed her long-ruffled strands of hair.

"There. Perfect." His words meaning more than what he implied.

Kuroo waited for her as she paid for her astronomy book and followed her outside.

"Kuroo, it's still early. Do you wanna grab something to eat?" she asked once both had stepped out.

He blinked at her question, wondering if this was a date but decided to not let the chance slip by.

"Sure, I know the perfect place." He grabbed her hand and ignored her flustered pleas to let her hand go.

By the time they arrived at their destination, Kuroo had noticed Y/N had stopped all her protests. Finally, feeling relaxed and secure in his presence.

 ★☆ ★☆

Several months and dates later, Kuroo and Y/N found themselves at his house while studying for an upcoming chemistry exam.

"So, almost all stoichiometry problems can be solved in four simple steps. First, you balance the equation. Convert the units of the given substance to moles. Then calculate the moles of substance yielded by the reaction. Finally, convert the moles of the substance to the desired units. Sounds easy enough, right?" Kuroo asked, looking up from his notes to see Y/N eyeing her worksheet nervously.

"I-I'm going to be honest with you. I have no idea what any of that means," she grumbled.

He grabbed Y/N and pulled her close to him on the bed they were both occupying.

"Here. Watch me do it, and then if you have any questions, let me know."

Kuroo went through the process slowly. When he finished, he looked up to see Y/N gazing at him earnestly with a prominent flush on her face.

He stared back curiously, not understanding why Y/N was peering at him like that. Usually, she gave him those looks when she watched him play volleyball or if he acted particularly sweet that day. He shouldn't have been that surprised when she shoved her worksheet aside and pounced on him.

Y/N desperately clung and kissed him thoroughly.

"W-wait Y/N. We still have work to do," he gasped while turning his face away.

She didn't seem too perturbed and instead started nibbling his slender neck instead.

Hang on, why was he hesitating if there was a willing and rutting girl on top of him?

Kuroo tried to grasp her waist tightly and switch their position. But Y/N was having none of it and pushed his grabby hands away.  She swung her leg over his waist and pushed him down. With her position, her skirt had ridden up and showed off her legs. He couldn't help it as he caressed her silky-smooth skin and started making his way up her skirt. But before he could touch her lacey panties, she once again shoved his hand away.  Y/N carefully steadied herself and started rocking against his jeans.

It didn't take long before his dick started stirring with Y/N grinding on top of him. Trying not to upset Y/N's pace, he carefully unbuttoned her lacey blouse to expose her black bra. Kuroo shoved off the garment off her shoulders so he could knead her breasts through the cotton bra. Perhaps she got impatient from the lack of friction because soon enough, Y/N was unzipping his jeans and pulling out his dick. She pumped it a few times and asked Kuroo to help. While she was getting his dick hard, Kuroo pulled down her panties. She lined up him up quite nicely.

Y/N quickly rammed his cock inside of her, so fast that Kuroo almost missed the pained whimper from her mouth.

"Oy, slow down," he groaned while feeling her walls constrict around him. Kuroo tried to remove himself from her embrace, but she held onto his hips tightly. She started pushing herself up and down on top of him, letting out whimpers at the feeling of being so full.

He could feel her slick building up from the added ministrations and coating his length, making it easier for her to descend on him. Still, it was a tight fit. Bordering on pain and pleasure. He could see the tears in her eyes, so Kuroo once again tried to get her to slow down.

"Sweetheart, we got all the time in the world."

"Tetsu, I.. I need you so badly," she moaned while simultaneously shoving the rest of him inside her.

"Fuck!" he let out after seeing her be filled to the brim and her mound connecting with his pubic.

Y/N was a panting and crying mess, trying to accommodate a cock that was clearly too big for her.

He felt a little ashamed and guilty for liking the way she looked on top of him. But sex with Y/N was always so nasty and filthy. He remembered vividly how desperately she begged for him to take her virginity after school one day. So, Kuroo cut his practice short (the one rare time he did) and took her to the nearest love hotel where he proceeded to fuck her senseless for an hour straight. Still, he remembered feeling despaired afterward because he had wanted to make love after a romantic date for her first time.

His musing got cut short when Y/N started bouncing on his cock mercilessly. She let out choked sobs each time she slammed back down. The bedsprings began squeaking, and the frame of the bed banged against the wall. So much so he would no doubt have to explain about the dent later to his parents.

Soon enough, he could see Y/N becoming tired, her breathing becoming more and more labored.

She begged, "Tetsu, help me."

"I don't know, Y/N. You got yourself in this mess-" Kuroo let out a loud groan when he felt Y/N purposely squeezing his cock.

Kuroo pulled the cups of her bra down to reveal her heaving chest. He sat up on his forearms to thoroughly suck the peaked breasts while keeping one hand on her hips to control the thrusts. The wild bouncing was now replaced with rhythmic rocking. He knew from experience that she liked to stimulate her clit along with penetration. So, each time he entered her, Kuroo held her hips still so he could grind against her more. It worked, her body started shaking and becoming restless from the extra stimulation.

"Tetsu, I-I'm…" she didn't finish her sentence.

"Fuck, I can feel you milking me. Shit, that n-never gets old," he replied, feeling helpless as her orgasm spiraled out of control.

Feeling that the opportunity now was perfect, he quickly reversed their position. Kuroo rammed his cock back inside of her and made sure to rest her ankles on his shoulders. He had to bend a little to make sure his taller height was able to accommodate her. But the position was perfect for deeper penetration, especially when he pressed his chest against the back of her thighs. Y/N was still sensitive from her previous orgasm, so she only got louder and louder from the new angle. He covered her mouth with his hand; however, her muffled sobs were only subdued to a point. Her keening was still audible to anyone who might pass by his room. He let out a grunt when their bodies connected, creating a loud wet slap that only served to turn him on further. No longer able to hold back, Kuroo didn't stop himself from the telltale signs of his own impending pleasure. The base of his cock tightened, and he came inside of her.

He moaned and let Y/N go, settling his face nicely on top of her sweaty and warm chest. Kuroo thanked whatever deity out there that Y/N had been on birth control since their first time. He had the privilege of hitting it raw and hopefully would continue to do so until she said otherwise.

The two laid side by side for a couple of minutes, trying to catch their breaths before he turned on his side and clutched her closer.

Kuroo grabbed Y/N's face and started peppering it with quick kisses, "I love you. I love you so much. You did so good, baby."

Y/N was too tired to participate, so she returned the kisses halfheartedly.

"Not that I mind, babe. But what was that about? I thought we were supposed to be studying," he teased with a smirk.

Y/N shrugged and replied, "I think intelligence is sexy and a turn on."

The smirk on his face crumbled, and he facepalmed.

Y/N frowned at him. "What's wrong?"

"You shouldn't have told me that. Now we will never get any studying done," he replied with a groan.

[shewhospeakswiththunder]

Perhaps you’re feeling bored at home or, if considered an “essential” worker like me, you need a little fun and stress relief. Here is my masterpost of fic recs from my two years of reading so far. Maybe you’ll find something new, or reconnect with an old favorite. Either way--

Enjoy! 😷💕

Reylo Fics that Deserve All the Love

Near Kinsman by englishable

Englishable is just one of the best writers I’ve encountered in fandom. This historical western mail order bride AU is top notch quality.

The Masochism of Self-Defence by greyorchids

The Reylo dynamic in this Boston PD AU is steamy, but also heartfelt. 

So Much Thin Glass by walkingsaladshooter

Never knew I loved modern day Gothic AUs until I ran across this one.

Heaven Forbid by DarkKnightDarkSide

I was stunned by the author’s creativity in this Priestlo fic. So smutty. So... inventive 😉🔥

Sonder by deathbyhumidity

Two strangers passing each other by on the train. Soft, dreamlike, somber, poignant. Modern AU.

And Still I Would Remember by Inmyownidiom

A Victorian era AU of two souls that parted and come crashing back together.

So, You've Decided to Glamour a Human Girl. by selunchen

Faeries AU! Ben, a fae, and Rey, a human. Shenanigans ensue.

Live Long, and Prosper by SaintHeretical

For the Reylo Trekkies. Hell, even if you don't do Star Trek, read this. PHENOMENAL.

Mr. Solo & Miss Wellfound by LinearA

“Regency/Victorian AU, Ben sees Rey's stockinged ankle by accident.”

Diyari by Nervoustouch

Modern archeologists AU. Snarky banter with dashes of Indiana Jones, The Mummy, and Sahara vibes.

Drawn to the light of your burning sorrows by Kyriadamorte

The Mothlo AU you didn’t know you needed. Both gritty and soft.

Crown Glass by RebelRebel

Fantasy AU, with lots of beautiful imagery and engaging character dynamics.

Kohelet 3:16 (Call Me A Cab) by LinearA

NYC Jewish Leia and Ben. Skillfully layered plot, nuanced characterization. Smut is HOT.

By the Shores of Varykino Lake by hipgrab (merrymegtargaryen)

Unhealthy dynamics, definitely read the tags. “There’s a lot of fucked-up-ness”, in the author’s own words. But it’s good writing. Fair warning.

Let Me Put My Darkness In You by ArdeaJestin

Canonverse. Hux is an insufferable, pompous ass and Kylo Ren writes terrible, melodramatic poetry.

Wintertide by Zabeta

Whimsical and primitive in turn, this lives up to the style of a true fairytale AU.

The Forty Thieves by PoetHrotsvitha

Peaky Blinders/Gangsters AU. Rey starts as Ben’s bartender and ends up as so much more.

I Said to My Soul, Be Still by LinearA

Dark!Rey takes her man. 🥵🔥💕

Hux's Rousing Pep Talks by Riels_shorts

This fic is hysterical. It’s not Reylo, and I don’t care. My list, my rules.

It's All I Can Do To Leave You Alone by TazWren

Office AU. Silly, spunky, with a bashful Ben. 

Sip the Honey Sweet by dietplainlite

Anne of Green Gables-esque/Edwardian era AU, the title really says it all.

The Pull to the Light by HarpiaHarpyja

Entrancingly macabre. This modern/fantasy/monsters AU catches your attention from the get-go, and never lets you off the hook.

lay then the axe to the root by sciosophia

All the Bronte goodness, plus smut.

The Golden Age by TourmalineGreen

Golden Age of Hollywood AU in which Ben is a jaded actor in serious need of an image fix, in the form of fresh-faced actress Rey.

Never Be Your Curse by Kate_Reid 

Kylo Ren is a go-go dancer in this AU. That was enough to get my attention 😘

Gallows God by Killtheselights

Bursting with deliciously grim imagery, an intelligent take on Norse mythology.

Thunderstorms, Clouds, Snow, and a Slight Drizzle by aNerdObsessed

Who doesn’t love an ugly sweater Christmas party? Ben Solo, that’s who. All the nostalgic wintertime feels in this modern AU.

Though My Soul Has Set in Darkness by englishable

It’s not long, but it’s good. A lyrical dive into the mindspace of child Ben Solo. A true gem. Also not technically Reylo. Still don’t care.

I Dare You by tinylittlebrain

Daredevil Kylo has pissed off ER doc Rey Kenobi for the last time. Spicy!

stuck in colder weather by redbelles

Professor Ren stops grad student Rey from biking home in a snow storm. And takes her to his home. You can guess where this goes 😉

Between Sky and Sea by nessalk

Serious Indiana Jones vibes with a Caribbean flair. Painstakingly researched, and moments of true beauty and joy.

But Before Tomorrow by Kate_Reid

Such good writing. Canonverse.

The Sword of Prince Hector by englishable

Exploration of what redemption might feel like for Ben, canonverse. 

if compassion be the breath of life, breathe on me by Victoryindeath2

All the angst and unknowns that we were left with in the wake of TLJ are soothed in this canonverse piece.

build a ladder to the stars by redbelles

An exploration of events post-Crait. Fantastic, beautifully written.

nor are we forgiven (which brings us back) by TolkienGirl

Both Kylo and Rey get to see what life would have been like if they both got exactly what they thought they wanted after TLJ. Fascinating read. 

Forsworn by Erulisse17

This Mando/ST crossover has everything you could want--action, witty banter, space romance! So much fun!

Reylo Favorites & Classics

One Shots

59 Minutes by delia-pavorum (literaryminded)

For Science by KyloTrashForever, ohwise1ne

He Made It Through the Wilderness (somehow he made it through) by LovesBitca8

light carries on endlessly by lachesisgrimm (olga_theodora)

Grey by ocjones

The Idiot's Guide to Flirting by Violetwilson

High School/College AU

I Caught Fire by KyloTrashForever

Mountain Springs High School by animal

Epithumia by pontmercy44

Soul Searching by OptimisticBeth

Office/Workplace AU

Sensual Storytime by andabatae

The Food of Love by LovesBitca8

Historical/Dystopia AU

Hiraeth by Ferasha

a manner of virtue by neonheartbeat

The lamb's thirst by animal

Wanted by Inmyownidiom

She Who Would be Queen by sasstasticmad

go i know not whither and fetch i know not what by voicedimplosives

ABO

Knot My First Time by KyloTrashForever

Canonverse/Canon-divergent

variations on a theme of you by diasterisms (Reydar)

i will be the wolf by diasterisms

Sky Marked Souls by AnonymousMink

The Death of Kylo Ren by nymja

World In My Eyes by sasstasticmad

i'm always in this twilight (in the shadow of your heart) by diasterisms

Catch Me I’m Falling by violethoure666

Sword of the Jedi by diasterisms

You'll Be the One to Turn by postedbygaslight

Dark Crown by Violetwilson

Harry Potter AU

Nocturnal Studies And Other Peculiar Magic by WaterlilyRose

Otherwise Modern AU

Pretense by Celia_and

Insta-heart by slipgoingunder

Serotonin and Dopamine by pontmercy44

The Elusive Mating Dance of the Porgus Adorabilis by andabatae

Hanging by a Moment by crossingwinter

WAR DOGS by fulcrumstardust

miles from where you are by Mooncactus

Charcoal by luvkurai

Stay by jeeno2

coarse and rough and irritating by frak-all (or_ryn)

Blades Crossed by the-reylo-void (Anysia)

Embers by sciosophia

Mitan, Midi by animal

Janus by englishable

Say My Name by Graendoll

Thank You for The Music by hipgrab (merrymegtargaryen)

darling, so it goes by akosmia

This is the Sign You've Been Looking For by RebelRebel

Broken Things by midnightbluefox

One-Night Stand by delia-pavorum (literaryminded)

The Rebel Side of Heaven by jeeno2

On The Bumpy Road (To Love) by violethoure666

we could plant a house, we could build a tree by Like_A_Dove

I’d Like My Obituary to Hint at a Sequel by Violetwilson

Only If You Want To by Violetwilson

Not Reylo, Still Awesome

Gingerflower/Gingerrose, Armitage Hux/Rose Tico 

Between Sand and Sea by Brit Hux-Tico (birchwoods01)

If Ever I Would Leave You by Weddersins

Her Yellow Rainboots by Weddersins

Merrical, Cal Kestis/Merrin (Jedi: Fallen Order)

The Stars Alight by FlyingMachine

Heavy Ice by FlyingMachine

Caltrilla, Cal Kestis/Trilla Suduri (Jedi: Fallen Order)

No One Else by xanderwilde

call it what you want by xanderwilde

tear you to pieces by xanderwilde

Dramione, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter Universe)

Now Is A Gift by SenLinYu

Sex and Occlumency by Graendoll

Zutara, Katara/Zuko (Avatar: the Last Airbender)

oracle bones by an orphaned account

Fics by Me

Virtue Ethics

Reylo College AU (completed)

Dr. Ben Solo, adjunct philosophy professor and part-time martial arts instructor, discovers a young woman in his Intro to Philosophy course whom he thinks may not actually be enrolled at the University.

Chiasmus

Reylo Role-reversal canonverse AU (WIP)

Scourge of the galaxy, Kira Ren, is tasked by the First Order to eliminate the last of the Jedi. When she captures hotshot podracer Ben Solo to extract Luke Skywalker’s location from him, things do not go according to plan. 

This Dance of Light, This Sacred Blessing

Snapshots of a modern Reylo AU. Smutty, prosey one-shot.

Listen Up, Kid

Canonverse Reylo Post TLJ one-shot

The ghosts of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren's past are back to haunt him with a vengeance. A well-meaning, familial kind of vengeance. Or, A Star Wars Carol.

Ben’s Body

Reylo Modern AU (completed)

Rey is an up and coming sculptor specialising in human shape and form. Her new next door neighbour has a body to die for and she's determined to preserve it in marble forever. Now she just has to convince dashing and reclusive Ben to model for her. Preferably naked.

Growin’ Up

Reylo High School AU (completed)

Ben Solo was supposed to only be ruining his own life with his bad decisions. Rey Niima was just trying to pay attention in class. Both get stuck in detention.

Seven Texts, 2 AM

Reylo Modern AU, smutty one-shot

Ben has good reasons not to have sex with his neighbor, Rey. She has other ideas.

Song of the Forest

Reylo Fantasy/BatB/Fairytale AU (completed)

Once upon a time, a girl with an unknown past appeared on the doorsteps of a lord’s manor, and now the forest at the edge of the lord’s property is calling to her.

A Season of Frost & Warmth

Modern Reylo P&P AU (completed)

When Ben shows up to a Halloween party with no costume, it only confirms Rey’s certainty that he is the world’s biggest jerk. Until it comes to light that maybe... he isn’t. 

Follow Me Home

Modern Werewolf Reylo AU (completed)

Rey gets stone drunk and brings home a big cute husky she found in an alley. The next morning, she finds a naked man built like a fridge sleeping on her living room floor, and no dog in sight.

The Gentleness That Comes

Reylo Modern AU one-shot

Underground boxer!Ben is resigned to his life of violence, until he meets a pretty new bartender one night.

Unlikely, Unbidden, Unbound

Gingerflower canonverse AU (WIP)

General Hux is imprisoned by the Resistance when the First Order falls. He had known his death was coming, it was simply a matter of course. He’s disappointed to learn the Resistance has other plans, and an unwavering policy of giving people second chances.

@thereylowritingden @reylofic @nancylovesreylo @grlie-girl @lilia-ula @greyforceuser @tazwren @mhcalamas

[seateajessi]

Chapter 1

Wc: 1.8k   

@chokemeanakin​ request, my very first fanfic hope you like it <3

There it was this familiar feeling of fear, anger, and frustration creeping into my mind consuming my very soul ​and leave my body frozen.

I failed.

I needed a moment to realize what just happened, a moment I missed to dodge the shot that split my lightsaber in half.

Not that It was of great use to me, now that I was lying on a destroyed federation tank, probably deadly injured and without any support that could turn things for the better.

The stars dancing over me confirmed my worries and slowly a jabbing pain kept me from breathing in more of the burnt air that wavered over the battlefield.

That was it.

That was the end.

The end of a traitor, of someone who left her troops in the middle of a crucial fight only to hunt down a phantom, a specter. There were clear orders to be followed, there was a code that showed a Jedi how to lead, how to live, and most importantly how to survive.

Especially the last part seemed more reasonable to me, as I was dying on that piece of metal junk.

My vision began to blur and the sounds of the battle surrounding me became numbed.

I desperately tried to reach my communicator and I believe more color left my face when I felt the warm blood on my finger.

Tears formed in my eyes as I started to realize what I had done, in what position I had brought not only my troops but the whole galaxy, the republic ... and General Skywalker.

I winced at the thought of Ani, we were friends since we first met as younglings at the temple.

The mission we were sent to was most likely one of the most significant, it held the potential to capture General Grievous and end that monster once and for all. After a defeat of General Grievous and his droids, the Jedi council and chancellor Palpatine were informed by republic supporters that Grievous fled to the Outer Rim.

Palpatine made it clear that two of the most powerful Jedi should execute this mission to ensure certain success. The council was as confused as I was when the chancellor recommended me for this mission, of course, I was a Jedi knight but I was neither a master nor the chosen one, on the contrary, I had never felt strongly connected to the force or was especially skilled with the lightsaber. If it wasn't for the severity of the situation and the lack of available Jedi, the council would have never even considered sending me on this mission.

I closed my eyes and gasped at the pain that slowly numbed my body and my consciousness.

In the Carlac system, we finally tracked a sign, in hindsight obviously way too easy and after we landed on Carlac it didn´t take long and an army had surrounded us. Any communication was blocked and Anakin and I were separated right at the beginning of the battle.

The snow-covered planet made it difficult to keep an overview, heavy blizzards made it nearly impossible to see more than two feet in front of you.

Tiny sobs escaped me when I thought of him being out there alone facing this gigantic army of battle droids. In the Jedi order was no personal attachment allowed and that was the hardest price to pay in order of being a Jedi. He had to be dead by now, yet I didn´t feel any change in the force.

The tears burned in my eyes, realizing that everyone could be dead by now and my weak connection to the force could easily hide it from me.

My thoughts became disorientated and the aching pain had now reached every limb and bone in my body.

My eyelids became heavier and it started to snow again, flakes nearly as big as my hand, they really looked beautiful combined with the fading sunlight.

Something felt so familiar with that picture and for a moment it soothed my pain sending me into something between sleep and unconsciousness.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The nightmare that haunted me was the same as I dreamt it almost every night for as long as I could remember.

Usually, I was wandering through a cave until I would spot daylight and hope to escape this hell only to stop before a dead end every single time. A horrifying scream fills the cave, echoes, and becomes louder and louder until I´d crouch on the ground. Desperation and fear would paralyze me until the cave would begin to crumble and collapse burying me.

This time was no different and with a loud gasp I opened my eyes, adjusting to the harsh mechanical lights that were directed on me.

I couldn´t make anything out in the glaring light, apart from the metallic room that surrounded me, and the fact that I was levitating in the middle of this room, held in some sort of slowly spinning electrical captivation.

It was a wonder that I survived the shooting before but there was no way I would live long enough to...my train of thought was interrupted by the opening of the door.

Battle droids of course and behind them a horrendous creature, half a robot and half Kaleesh.

"General Grievous", I stated, trying to sound as unaffected as possible.

His pestering laugh filled the room as he eyed me carefully.

"I´m a Jedi", my voice sounded horrible, an embarrassing mixture between voice cracks and whispering. Why was I even talking to him, I silently cursed myself.

"Jedi scum for sure, but what´s your name little Jedi?"

"Emerald", I answered slowly starting to feel the pain coming back.

"Is this even a name?", the droid next to Grievous chattered, "Never is that a name.", he continued clearly sure of himself, "We found her on the top of a tank, and her lightsaber was broken. I have it right here. Look at it yourself." he proudly held my lightsaber in front of Grievous face.  

"What am I supposed to do with it you stupid droid?", the Kaleesh snarled. "You´re soon will look like that saber, Jedi scum. Droids, guard her." with that he stamped out, leaving me with that awful sound of "Rodger, Rodger" echoing through the room.

The thought of Anakin and the clones haunted me, there was no way I would give them up so easily.

This was my chance, a new sparkle of hope gave me life, the moment a somewhat brilliant idea came to my mind.

With my most suffering expression, which I didn't even need to fake that much I wailed "Oh, no. I´m gonna die, I can feel it. If I die now, Grievous can´t kill me. How are you gonna explain to him that you let me die when you were instructed to guard me." I sighed dramatically and slowly closed my eyes.

"Is she dead?", "Hey you, Emerald Jedi.", "I think she is dead", "We need to check, I was just promoted." the discussion continued until I roughly landed on the ground, hearing the two battle droids​ approaching to check on my health.

I quietly groaned at the aching pain that definitely originated from the left side of my body.

I felt the cold metal hand on my throat, clumsily checking if I was still alive. "I think she is...dead?!"

I calmed myself collecting everything that's left of my strength and grabbed the droid and ripped his head off. "Whaaat the", the other droid screamed in shock, still compensating why I was still breathing, which made it easier to grab his blaster and shoot it.

I gasped again, this time out of physical exertion, this little fight had brought me near unconsciousness again.

Struggling to set one foot before another I reached the door and opened it, trying to be as quiet as possible while sneaking out of the metallic hellhole.

There were only a few other droids, the base definitely didn´t seem heavily guarded, which was somehow strange.

"Grievous, you know that it is of utmost importance that the Jedi girl...", I froze and slowly approached the corner the voices were coming from. "Skywalker has to walk into our trap..." My heart made a little jump when I realized that Anakin probably wasn´t dead. "...Sidious ordered that she is only to be killed when Skywalker watches." I frowned and carefully retreated. The pain became more unbearable by the second and I still needed to find a way out of here.

Still, I couldn´t keep my mind from start rattling about what I just witnessed.

What in the force's name did they mean by setting a trap for Anakin. I wasn´t sure who the other one was, but I was definitely planning on figuring that out.

I needed to get to our ship and contact the fleet, call for help and inform the Jedi council about this.

I looked for something that would keep me alive and my luck had turned at least that's what I thought the moment I spotted a little something above me.

It seemed like there was some sort of container that had a medical sign-on. My shoulder made a terrible sound as I tried to reach for the switch to open it.

The pain that shot through my whole body caused me to abruptly slump down to the hard metal ground.

Before I could hit the ground hard, I was caught by a pair of strong arms that seemed familiar to me.

Could this be... "Ani?", I croaked and turned around, tears once again forming in my eyes as I saw his eyes full of concern and his hurt expression.

"You promised me you weren´t going to do anything reckless", he whispered and tried to sound taunting but his voice broke when he turned me a bit and saw my side.

I  tried to form a laugh that sounded more like Grievous coughing, due to the amount of blood that came with it.

"Don´t worry it´s gonna be fine. Help is on its way, we-we contacted the fleet.",

My hand clutched for his that tried desperately to soothe my pain somehow.

"Ani, please hold me", I whimpered holding on to him even stronger. I couldn't read the expression that crept on his face but it scared me.

"They are gonna pay for this, every single one of them." he hissed and my stomach turned.

"Just look at me, Ani, please. It´s not that bad.", I whispered caressing his cheek and tried to smile. His expression softens and he carefully picked me up. "You´re so cold, Ems." I huffed and grabbed his hand pressing it against me, placing a soft kiss on his palm. A sad smile graced his face while he covered me with his robe. "See, I´m here, don´t worry.", he placed in return a kiss on my head.

"Ani, I´m scared." I whispered and I don´t know what hurt more the stabbing pain in my side or how his eyes became watery.

I ran my hand softly over his chest and buried myself into his strong arms. I barely felt the pain nor the burning sensation that had caused his touch.

And once again I drifted into sleep, only this time I felt as safe and warm as I never had before.

[free-pool-trash]

folklore - isaac lahey {4/?}

part 4!! Hope you guys are liking this so far :) PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!! 

platonic stiles, derek and scott x reader in this part too :)

word count: 3.8k

warnings: blood, blood sucking? lmao idk, swearing i think that’s it? let me know if i missed anything <33

Taglist: @makeusfreefromthisfandom​, @cece-lives-here​, @chocolate-raspberries​, @belsandthings​, @dancing-tacos-23​, @truly-dionysus​, @britty443​, @tanyaherondale​, @furiouspockettoad​, @yunsh-17​, @random-thoughts-003​, @gloomybrieyxb​, @futuristicslimemongerbanana​, @linkpk88​, @big-galaxy-chaos​ let me know if you’d like to be added <3

FOLKLORE MASTERLIST

“You’re sure about this?” Stiles rolled his eyes at the question, the same question you’d asked four times already. Letting out a dramatic sigh the boy looked you dead in the eyes, “For the fifth time, yes! Now hurry up and stick your needle teeth in me before I change my mind.” 

A nervous giggle left your mouth before your could stop it and you grabbed the knife you’d brought with you from home out of the pocket of your jacket, looking at Stiles with an apologetic smile you gently pulled his wrist toward you, “I won’t actually get my fangs until after I feed…” You reminded softly, eyes searching his for any sign of uncertainty. 

You were currently sat in the passenger's seat of Stiles’ jeep, the sarcastic boy himself sat beside you in the driver’s seat, both of you had your seat belts unbuckled and your bodies turned towards each other as best you could in the confined space of the jeep that was parked on the outskirts of the woods.

The only feeling in your chest that didn’t belong to you was the nervousness that Stiles assured you was just due to the fact that he was alone in his car with a pretty girl and had absolutely nothing to do with the fact he was about to give a baby vampire her first taste of human blood. It was a good thing that Stiles had agreed to your request, though. To be honest you weren’t sure why he’d said yes but you were grateful nonetheless.

 Deaton had made it clear that in order for your transition to be as seamless as possible you’d need to feed on a human who didn’t share your bloodline, which obviously eliminated your parents from the running as well as Scott and Derek since neither of them are technically human. That left you with a choice to make between Isaac and Stiles and considering your decision to keep Isaac out of it, your options were limited.

Thankfully Stiles had responded to your text message of “I really need a favour” quickly and didn’t ask too many questions, he’d mentioned he would rather have you drink his blood than die and you couldn’t lie you were kind of moved by it. Who knew the sarcastic Stiles Stilinski was a sweetheart?

“Oh so we’re using a kitchen knife...fun. Very sanitary.” He commented, eyeing the knife with displeasure obvious on his face and in your chest. You offered him another apologetic smile and tried your best to send a wave of calmness his way- already having started learning how to use your empathic abilities.

When he let out a relaxed sigh, closed his eyes and let his buzzcut head fall back against his head rest you brought the knife to his skin. You cut quickly and as shallow as possible, wincing while he let out a hiss.

Blood oozed from the cut you’d created and suddenly it was as though the rest of the world had simply dulled around you, you could hear Stiles’ heart beat beating like a drum and every single drop of rushing blood sounded in your eyes. Throwing him one last questioning glance you waited until he nodded his head for you to go on before you cautiously raised his wrist to your lips, holding it with both hands and swallowing the saliva that had built up in your mouth at the sight of the red liquid.

Bracing yourself for what would happen next you took a deep breath in. Slowly, you opened your mouth and placed it over the cut you’d made on his pale skin, the taste of metal filled your mouth but it didn’t repulse you like it should have, it tasted good… incredible even. A hum of approval left your throat only to be muffled by an approving sound of his own coming from Stiles.

When you disconnected from his wrist to look at him your eyes widened, he looked absolutely blissed out. Head thrown back against the car seat and a dopey smile on his lips while half lidded eyes stared back at you.

“Are you okay?” You asked him in panic. How were you going to tell Scott that you broke his best friend?

Stiles nodded, his smile only growing as he giggled out his answer, “That felt really good. Really good.” He drawled out his words and you had to laugh, hoping to god that a vampire bite had some kind of euphoric effect and that Stiles didn’t just have some weird blood sucking kink. Although come to think of it you hadn’t actually bit him…

Shaking the thoughts off you sat with Stiles on the outskirts of the forest and waited for him to come down from his high so you could ask him what exactly had happened. After a solid forty-five minutes of staring out into the woods dozily and babbling nonsense as if he’d just smoked an unhealthy amount of weed, the boy beside you finally sobered up.

The first thing he did was look at you with wide eyes, “That- That was awesome.” 

“You were kinda gone for a minute there, I was worried I broke you.” You laughed, the noise dying in your throat as he shook his head frantically.

“No! It was like- like I actually don’t know… but when you started drinking it felt like something was injected into my bloodstream! It was like a drug or something, I swear.” He explained excitedly, the positive energy spreading to your chest and forcing a wide smile to grow on your lips.

“Was it as good for you as it was for me?” He asked jokingly, wiggling his eyebrows and smiling when you let out a hearty laugh. You shrugged casually, an innocent smile playing on your lips that were still stained red with Stiles’ blood, “I guess you were a pretty tasty midnight snack.”

*

Deaton hadn’t lied when he told you that your fangs growing in would be painful, you’d spent the entire night rolling around your bed in agony after you parted with Stiles. It wasn’t until the sunlight peaked through your curtains that morning that you were finally able to catch your breath, your teeth looking normal as you inspected them in the mirror, only forming fangs when you made an effort to bare them. When you met your own gaze in the mirror you played around with your newest feature, eyes widening as you realized that while you changed your teeth, something else changed too- your eyes. As you barred your fangs your eyes shifted from their usual colour to a glowing lilac purple. A shocked gasp left your lips and your brows furrowed in confusion. 

Vampirism seemed to be full of surprises and even still the most shocking thing about your reflection was how undeniably tired you looked. Staying up all night in unbearable pain would do that to you, you supposed sighing heavily and getting yourself ready for the day ahead.

“Hey kiddo.” Your father greeted, not looking up from the book he was reading as you entered the kitchen with your school bag thrown over your shoulder.

Leaning over his shoulder to see what he’d been looking at you let out a laugh when you saw the word written on the top of the page in a gothic black font; Vampyr.

“Some light reading, huh?” You asked teasingly, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl on the kitchen island and leaning against it while you waited for a response. 

The man let out a huff before shutting the book and throwing his head back dramatically, greying hair falling in his eyes as he did. “Just tryna figure out everything we can about your new lifestyle.”

A small laugh left your mouth as you made your way out of the kitchen, “Blood sucking and superhuman abilities, what’s more to know?” You called sarcastically, shutting the front door and climbing into your car.

*

School was loud at the best of times, even before being bitten you could barely stand it especially in the mornings, adding your enhanced hearing and total lack of sleep to the mix seemed like a recipe for disaster. You were ripped from your thoughts when a hand landed on your shoulder, “Oh hey, guys.” You muttered when you looked up from the ground to see Scott and Stiles looking at you with what looked like slight concern, with so many people around it was hard to tune in on what they were actually feeling. 

“You look terrible.” Stiles stated bluntly, receiving a light kick in the shin from you, “Yeah well your stupid blood activated my fangs and I was up all night in pain while they grew in.” You grumbled, giving him another light kick for good measure.

Scott chuckled before speaking up, “How did feeding go?” 

Before you could answer Stiles was already blabbering excitedly, “Dude! You have to let her bite you it’s like… other worldly!” Your eyes rolled at how over dramatic he made the whole situation sound, sure his blood had been incredible and your bite had put him in a state of pure bliss but for all you knew that could’ve just been a one time thing. Scott stared at Stiles with a suspicious look on his face as the two began to argue playfully, stopping once you cut in, “Alright you too, I’m gonna head to my locker. Stiles try not to think too much about how other worldly I am.” You teased with a wink before walking away.

Isaac had been watching the entire encounter, he’d seen you the second you walked in, he’d seen the way you laughed and chatted with the boys you were seemingly growing closer with and he definitely didn’t miss the wink you threw towards Stilinski before you began walking towards him. He wondered if he wasn’t in the picture would you be better off? His mind torturing him with that fact that since you were placed into different home rooms this year you’d already made a number of new friends. Maybe he was holding you back?

“Whatcha worrying about, Lahey?” Your soft voice shook him out of his quickly self degrading train of thought and when his eyes met yours all worries about himself went away as he focused solely on you and your tired eyes. 

“You…” He told you, eyes trailing over your face before coming back to your eyes. “Are you not sleeping?” He asked, concern dripping from every word. His hand found yours and you simply nodded your head, there was no point in lying to him about it when you knew damn well you were probably going to pass out at some point during the day.

“It was just last night, I had a really bad toothache.” Technically it wasn’t a lie and by the way his eyes glanced over your puffier than normal cheeks you knew he believed you.  

Isaac nodded his head, keeping his soft grip on your hand as he looked at you for a moment longer, “You sure here’s the best place to be?” He fretted, his eyebrows coming to a furrow. Worry began to build up in your chest along with every other feeling being felt by every other hormonal teenager who walked the halls. They crashed over you in waves, one after the other and relentlessly leading you to seriously consider Isaac’s question.

“(Y/n) I think you should go home, you’ve got the same look on your face as you did that night in the hospital…” Isaac pointed out as he let go of your hand.

Even though he was standing right in front of you, again like that night in the hospital, his voice sounded distant. Instead of excessive noise this time it was overwhelming emotions clouding your mind and as opposed to ringing in your ears all you could feel was a volcano of feelings threatening to erupt in your chest. There seemed to be something about Isaac- it was like he triggered your powers, whenever he was with you they were at their strongest and you didn’t know whether or not that was a good thing. 

As his hand slipped out of yours you felt yourself pulling it back to you as quickly as possible without triggering your new vampire speed, because while Isaac triggered you- you felt as though he was also the only thing stopping you from losing control.

“Hey, you ok?” His voice sounded again, prompting you to squeeze your eyes shut, hoping to gain some kind of leverage over the car crash of emotions flooding your every breath, you took a deep breath before you opened your eyes, locking your gaze with Isacc’s.

His eyebrows were furrowed together and the amount of concern he held for you in the moment would’ve warmed your heart if it wasn’t already crushing it. “I think I should wait a few more days.” You reasoned out loud, nodding your head mirroring Isaac as he nodded in agreement, adjusting your grip on his hand so you weren’t just grabbing on to it. He intertwined his fingers with your own and led you towards the school doors muttering, “Give me your keys, I’ll take you home.”

“If you miss school you’ll get in trouble.” You reminded him weakly, fatigue getting the best of you as you leaned against his side for support, not seeing him shake his head, “Nah, he won’t be mad if it’s about you. Didn’t touch me the whole time you were in hospital.” Isaac informed you as he snatched your car keys out of your jacket pocket himself, trying to fight a grin at the dopey look on your face as you stared up at him.

“He didn’t?” You questioned when the pressure in your chest began to release, only when you moved your gaze away from your best friend’s face did you notice that he had already brought you to your car, he opened the passenger side door and looked at you expectantly, motioning for you to get in, “Come on, sleepy head. Get in the car.” With a sigh of defeat you plopped yourself into the seat, watching as Isaac shut the door and made his way around to the driver’s side, quickly hopping in and leaving the school grounds so you wouldn’t get written up.

“Nope. Said he didn’t want me stressing you out with my ‘little accidents’” He kept his eyes on the road as he spoke and you tried your best not to make your staring too obvious. It was a rare sight though, seeing him with no scrapes or bruises, you liked it a lot. At least it meant he wasn’t hurting physically.

“Maybe I should get injured more often then.” You told him tiredly, head beginning to lull, soothed by the warm feeling spreading across your chest

Isaac laughed humorlessly, glancing at you briefly before returning his gaze to the road ahead of him, “Honestly I’d rather get beaten black and blue than see you hurt for another second.”

The warmth in your chest only grew as you gazed at him, “I could say the same.” He laughed again only this time it was sweet, “How about we both try not to get our asses handed to us?” 

As the words left his mouth the car had pulled into your driveway, your mother’s car was out of sight and your father would’ve left for work by now so it seemed that you and Isaac would have the place to yourselves.

When you got inside you dropped your bag on the hallway floor and made a beeline towards the stairs, waiting for your best friend to follow you as he usually did only this time he didn’t move. Isaac stood rigidly in the doorway, his teeth gnawing on the inside of his cheeks as indecisiveness radiated off his form.

“Come on, I know you didn’t ditch school just to drop me home…” You tried to lighten the mood but your words only confused him further. He only stares at you in contemplation, his teeth moving to chew on his bottom lip. “What’s wrong?” You asked, voice dripping with concern.

Little did you know his mind was running wild with the same thoughts that had plagued him earlier that morning, maybe you didn’t want him with you… maybe you would’ve preferred Scott or even Stilinski. Before he could apply any sort of logic to the thoughts his mouth started moving, “Do you want me to stay? It’s fine if you’d rather- I don’t know call Scott or something?”

You felt bad for laughing, you really did but the question definitely had not been what you were expecting, his jealousy towards Scott and even Stiles was clear as day but you didn’t realize he was so blinded by it. “Isaac, I love you so much but that is the worst suggestion you’ve made all day.” You told him through a laugh, moving from the stairs back to the front door, shutting it after you pulled Isaac inside and looked him in the eyes.

Drowsily you placed both of your hands on his cheeks, forcing him to meet your eyes, “Don’t get me wrong, Scott and Stiles are great” You started, pausing to squish his cheeks together to drive you point as you finished, “But they’re not you.” Isaac smiled down at you sweetly, escaping your grasp to pull you against him in a hug and once again that warm feeling flooded your chest again. It was different that the others you’d felt so far, the others seemed to sit on your chest or weighed it down, but this feeling felt as though it was simply floating over it, it wasn’t heavy or overwhelming but light and comforting. You sunk into it for a second, eyes falling shut as you let out a hum of approval when Isaac’s grip around you tightened ever so slightly.

Pulling yourself away before you fell asleep right where you stood you grabbed his hand, leading him upstairs, “Alright dumbass, I need a nap we can cuddle upstairs.” You grumbled only to have him laugh and push your shoulder playfully, “You’re the worst, (L/n)”

“Mhm, and don’t you forget it, Lahey.”

*

“Call her. Now.” Derek growled out at Stiles demandingly causing him to throw his arms in the air in frustration, “And what’s she gonna do about it? Huh? Suck your blood?” Stiles retorted, sarcastically.

“No,” The older man once again growled, “She can heal it. Now, call her.”

“You suck, you know that right?” Stiles mumbled as Derek ignored him, clutching his arm in pain as the boy with the buzzcut finally began to dial your number.

After a minute, Stiles lowered the phone from his ear, “She’s not answering.”

“Then call her again.” 

*

You groaned into Isaac’s shoulder as your phone rang for the fifth time waking you from your longer than intended nap, groggily you grabbed your phone from behind you on the night stand as best you could without removing yourself from Isaac.

Finally grabbing hold of it you held it to your ear, not bothering to check the caller ID before answering, “Hello?”

“Finally. (Y/n) listen to me-” Your face contorted in confusion at the sound of the frantic voice on the other line, “Derek?” You questioned, still half asleep and Isaac’s hand running through your hair didn’t help with the matter of waking you up.

“Yes, (Y/n) it’s Derek-” “And Stiles!” “Shut up!”

You couldn’t help but wince at the volume of their voices, finally sitting up, “Both of you shut up. What do you want?” You grumbled crankily.

“Allison’s aunt shot me.” Derek told you bluntly causing your eyes to widen and your voice to pitch, “What? Are you okay?”

“I need your help.” He admitted causing your shock to grow significantly, “How the hell am I supposed to help?” You asked panicked, trying to calm your beating heart when it dawned on you that your best friend was right beside you.

Stiles voice cut in this time, sounding just as frustrated, if not more, than Derek, “Do you have to be so cryptic all the time? God. (Y/n) I’m taking him to Deaton’s okay? The pet clinic. Just meet us there alright?”

“Okay, got it.” You sighed, quickly hanging up and jumping out of your comfortable bed, letting out a laugh when you noticed the sun had long since set, you must’ve been asleep for hours.

“You ok?” Isaac asked. Standing now too.

“Yeah, Derek needs me for something.” You told him, irritation clear on your face. “I’ll drive you home.” You sighed and gave the boy an apologetic smile,

*

Hurriedly you made your way into the pet clinic after dropping Isaac off, eyes widening at the state Derek was in, “Jesus, you really got shot, huh?”

The wolf nodded with an insincere smile on his face, eyes narrowed in your direction, “Yes. Now come here, I need your blood.” Derek demanded, rolling his eyes when you recoiled in disgust, “Come again?”

Derek sighed impatiently, only bothering to give you a half assed explanation, “The bullet that shot me has a toxin in it, vampire blood will stop it long enough for Scott to get here.” He grabbed your wrist and pushed it toward your mouth, “Bite.” He instructed, hesitantly you bore your fangs, eyes flashing in the process, and bit into your wrist, wincing as you broke the skin before you removed your fangs and held the limb toward Derek who immediately attached his lips to the bleeding area, “Gross…” You murmured, scrunching up your nose as Stiles looked at the scene with as much distaste as you.

When he was finally done with your wrist you saw that the marks your fangs had left only a minute ago were gone and besides the spit from Derek which you wiped off on your shirt with a grimace, it was like nothing had been there at all. “What the hell?” You voiced in confusion, staring at your wrist.

“Okay, so vampires heal too.” Stiles deducted, nodding his head approvingly.

“They can heal themselves but they can also heal others. With their blood.” Derek finally explained coherently. 

“You’re not healing though.” You pointed out matter of factly, prompting the older man to let out a sigh, “There’s wolfsbane in my system. Your blood will dilute it but it won’t stop it completely, I need the bullet.” He said vaguely to which you only nodded, not bothered asking him any more questions, he sucked at answering.

Deciding to leave Derek to his brooding you made yourself comfortable next to Stiles, “So Allison’s aunt?” Stiles nodded, “Yep. Pretty funny considering Scott went over to Allison’s after school today to ‘study’” He told you making air quotes with his fingers.

“I gotta be honest Stiles… I don’t trust her.” You voiced your concerns, chewing on your bottom lip. Stiles looked at you with a confused glance, “Allison? Why not?”

You shook your head, staring distantly out the window as you mulled over his question. You couldn’t explain it but there was something about the Argent girl that just didn’t sit right with you, she felt volatile, confused even. Like given the right motivation she’d switch teams without thinking twice

Turning back to meet Stiles’ eyes you shrugged your shoulders, “Just an intuitive feeling.”

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #13- Swerve Doesn’t Have Any Friends

Okay, let’s go ahead and get this out of the way.

It’s a FUCKING SPORTS BRA AND RUNNING SHORTS ALEX.

And don’t think I don’t see that friggin’ cleavage alien back there. You ain’t slick.

I’m going to make it a law that all comic book artists learn how to draw clothes that don’t vacuum-seal themselves to women’s bodies. Milne gets six months for this infraction alone, and Roche gets a year for the initial bra crime he committed back in Last Stand. Learn how women’s underwear works, you ninnies.

Our issue opens up with Swerve stretching his radio personality muscles.

Oh, Guido Guidi, whisk me away to flights of fancy!

Our artist for this issue is none other than Guido Guidi, ascended from fanwork to deliver us from evil with his near-superhuman ability to emulate other artists’ styles and just make things look really pretty. He was responsible for the mythos pages in the 2012 Annual, AKA the best part. He also filled in on some of the art for Last Stand of the Wreckers, not that I really noticed because he’s just that good.

Swerve lets Blurr know that while it might have looked like the Lost Light had exploded, thus killing everyone onboard back in issue #1, that isn’t actually what happened. I’m glad someone filled in the Cybertronian populace on that.

I was never great at math, but those speech bubbles might be phoning it in a bit.

Swerve says that he’s having a great time on the quest, despite all the hiccups, and we get an explanation for why this long-range communications system hasn’t been seen prior to this point. It’s been broken for a while- most likely due to the quantum jump that started the series off with a bang- but Blaster managed to get it running again. Good job, Blaster. With this little setup for our framing device out of the way, we get into the meat of the story.

Swerve is being nosey about things that weren’t any of his business, happening in a closed off room, when Drift drags him down the hall and hid him away for safety. Swerve doesn’t much appreciate being manhandled, but there’s a method to the madness here.

Drift’s nose has vacated the premises once again, so we’re just going to have to deal with that. And how shapely does one have to be to be known as “the guy with the legs”? I mean, Drift is RIGHT THERE.

Drift uses his own powerful legs to kick down the door to Cyclonus and Tailgate’s room. It turns out that the horrific screaming wasn’t the sound of a murder or sexual relations taking place, but rather that of Cyclonus singing in Old Cybertronian.

My god, he’s completely enamored with this unrepentant murder machine.

We are just all up in Cyclonus’ grill for this panel. Nothing but lips. Was this specified in the script? Because it feels like it might have been specified in the script.

Old Cybertronian, or the Primal Vernacular as some might call it, was last seen in general when Rodimus channeled the will of the trapped Titan all across Tailgate’s chest. It was last seen spoken when we met Vos, the terrible murder gremlin who turns into a gun and uses his face to cause puncture trauma.

Comic books are wild, y’all.

Now that we’ve established that no one’s being killed, Drift goes back to what he was doing earlier, with Swerve deciding to tag along because he’s horrifically lonely. He invites Drift to come room up with him, because I guess if you’re going to sell off your comatose roommate’s bed out from under him, you might as well go for the guy who’s third in command,  is probably one of the hottest guys on the ship, and slices people into chunky salsa if they try anything funny.

Drift politely declines, and awkwardly removes himself from the conversation when Swerve doesn’t take the hint, returning to his sword lesson with Rodimus.

Oh thank god, the obnoxiously pink room is back.

Ultra Magnus bursts into the room, appalled by the actions of his fellow crew members. Some of his concerns are well-placed. Others, well…

Is- is that another friggin’ retainer on those lower teeth? Why does this design choice keep showing up?

So Magnus has imprisoned roughly a third of the ship at this point, and Rodimus suggests he take a chill pill. Magnus doesn’t even know what a chill pill even is, so we’re forced to make use of our most dangerous weapon- the threat of a good time, courtesy of Swerve.

The fact that Ultra Magnus hasn’t reduced Swerve to an oil stain on the floor is genuinely astounding. The guy has zero respect for bureaucracy or proper business management. It has been MONTHS, you dinky little man, get your act together as a business owner.

Swerve takes the bribe, and soon everyone’s shipping off to Hedonia, where the drinks are plentiful and the women… well, most of the Lost Lighters don’t even know what a woman is, so that aspect doesn’t really come into play. Thanks, Furman.

Also, Rung’s back to normal. Don’t worry about it, not a big deal.

Swerve isn’t having much luck on his Roommate Quest, as Tailgate spurns his advances, stating that he’s good kicking it with Cyclonus, mainly because they’re both old as shit.

I see we haven’t quite hit the threshold on the “Cyclonus is allowed to have friends now” meter. Give it a few more issues, I’m sure we’ll get there.

Man, zero for two for Swerve on trying to get a hot roommate. Maybe third time’s a charm?

Rodimus pops into the back of the shuttle to remind everyone that their entire race is more or less despised by the entire galaxy, and to play it safe by using their holomatter avatars.

The revamp by Brainstorm and Rung is truly a blessing, because the avatars in IDW were awful to look at up to this point.

Y’all, that is HOT ROD. Jesus wept.

Getting back to Tailgate’s questionable taste in companionship, Tailgate asks if Swerve and Blurr connected right away. Swerve gives him an affirmative, then starts listing off the guy’s racing stats until Ultra Magnus plops down between the two of them, drawn in by the melodious sound of statistics.

Magnus is having a hard time relaxing, but he’s giving it his best, and I think that’s very commendable of him. It’s hard trying new things.

On the surface of Hedonia, it would appear the B-Movies are having a Pride event in the entertainment district.

Okay, moment of truth- show us those avatars!

Oh thank god, they aren’t totally hideous. Though, isn’t Rewind old as shit? I guess youth is a state of mind. Still, I can’t believe we missed out on silver fox Rewind.

Rung’s line is in response to folks at the time claiming that Rung was a self-insert character, which is interesting, because we’ve already seen what a self-insert looks like when it’s Roberts doing the inserting, and we’ve also seen his Mary Sues.

Rung, while an original character who had appeared in Roberts’ pre-professional works (a single line of text in Eugenesis, where he was a psychiatry play-on-words), he isn’t what I’d consider a Mary Sue. Mary Sues are usually stunningly beautiful, beloved by their peers, insanely talented in ways that no other character is, and typically have some sort of connection to another character that more or less forces them into the story despite not needing to exist.

Mary Sues don’t get their friggin’ heads exploded, or exist in a constantly-forgettable state. Sure, he’s the only therapist we’ve ever seen in the Transformers franchise, but there was kind of a massive need for that sort of character to be created, seeing as all of these sons of guns have PTSD and clinical depression. And, as we’ve seen in previous issues and will continue to see later on, he’s really not even that great at it.

That isn’t to say that he doesn’t have certain traits befitting such a characterization, merely that they don’t add up to equal that sort of whole by issue #13. Transformers (2009)-era Drift is way closer to a true Mary Sue than Rung is.

Anyway, where the hell did Tailgate get to?

They really just let Frodo Baggins in this bar all babybjörned up, huh? Does Tailgate even know what a baby even is at this point? Does he just think he’s a very small person? How much human media has he consumed? We haven’t gotten into the reproductive process for the continuity yet, but fresh Cybertronians aren’t exactly a one-to-one to human infants. Damn it, Roberts, what the fuck am I supposed to make of Babygate?

Whirl’s off in the corner, disguised as a 12-year old girl who’s fucking STRAPPED. Magnus has disappeared, but Rewind locates him pretty easily as Rung makes a comment about Magnus needing to make an appointment with him.

Oh hey, Verity. Been a minute. Careful, ol’ six-eyes over there is leering at you.

The fellas come back to the bar as they truly are, and sit down for a round of drinks. Whirl gets Ultra Magnus a drink that sounds disturbingly like a Cybertronian equivalent to Milk Coke, and we get a little anatomy lesson. Transformers have something called a Fuel Intake Moderation chip, something that keeps them from getting drunk on pretty much the only thing they can consume. Swerve suggests Magnus turn his off so he can have a good time- which I don’t personally agree with, but this is Captain Stick-in-the-Mud we’re talking about here. Magnus gives it a shot.

And that’s a series wrap on Ultra Magnus!

No, the man’s just got no tolerance and has been knocked the hell out by his drink. Things begin devolving. Tailgate is crying. Skids has found out that Whirl didn’t give Magnus Milk Coke at all, but instead the equivalent of liquid cocaine. Swerve is convinced he’s going to prison. Rewind is filming the whole thing.

Nobody actually checks to see if Magnus is actually dead, until Rung gets around to it. Swerve, you’re a doctor by original trade, what the hell are you doing?

The boys sit Magnus at the table to wait out his nap. Hours later, nothing’s changed, except that they’ve started up the nemesis game, and Whirl’s decided he’s going to be rude about monoformers being monoformers. Rung gives a non-answer, because that’s just who he is as a person. Skids names Misfire as his worst enemy, only because he’s still missing a good chunk of memory and can’t remember if he had a worst enemy, but still wants to contribute to the conversation.

Rung, don’t be a dick, he did his best. You were right on top of Fort Max, it was a tricky shot.

Ultra Magnus finally starts waking up, and that’s the point where everyone decides to foot Swerve with the bill for the emotional labor he’s going to have to perform by explaining just what the friggity-frack happened.

Magnus starts laughing, then crying, then offloads his troubles onto Swerve. Magnus feels like he just doesn’t fit in on the Lost Light. He’s just trying to do his job and everyone makes fun of him, or disrespects his authority. He’s trying, he really is, but he’s just not built for post-war life. He’s actually tried to leave his position on the Lost Light, but they just keep pulling him back in.

Probably doesn’t help that Rodimus seems more interested in Drift’s opinion on matters than his own SIC half the time.

Oh no, he’s making digs at the things Swerve’s sensitive about. Where is Rung?

Magnus just wants to be understood, y’know? He’s a fully realized creation. He’s got interests. Like music! And the fact that Swerve is missing his Autobot badge!

This was the point where MTMTE was still bouncing back and forth on whether it wanted to commit to the crotch badge. It was a tumultuous time for everyone, very dark days.

WHERE THE FUCK IS RUNG

Magnus, having had enough of sharing his feelings, takes another sip of his cocaine and slips back into unconsciousness. Swerve admits to his limp body that people don’t actually like him, but rather only stick around because of what he can offer- namely, a good time.

The rest of the Swerve posse comes back, with Cyclones having joined the party. Rung shows off his new model ship, which gets Rewind started on his movie collection. He pulls up the opening ceremony for the Ark 1. Y’know, the Ark 1, that ship that Cyclonus was on that disappeared into the Dead Universe for six million years. The Ark 1 that Tailgate was supposed to be on.

Before we can get started however, someone throws the model at Rewind’s head.

That someone is none other than Cyclonus, who proceeds to fly into a rage, throwing tables and shoving the still-unconscious Ultra Magnus to the floor. My word, what a reaction! What could possibly be setting him off so much? Does he not like being reminded of his fated trip to the stars? Is this a manifestation of trauma from that event?

Who knows? No time for questions, Skids is too busy punching him in the face.

Tailgate intervenes, explaining that because Cyclonus and himself are so goddamn old, the engex Cyclonus consumed is wreaking havoc on his body. He tells the rest of them to go on while he tries to calm Cyclonus down. Interesting that Rewind doesn’t have any sort of input on this, given that he is also super fucking old, but there’s no time for questions! We’ve got to get Ultra Magnus back on the shuttle in the next 20 minutes, or else they’ll be stuck on Hedonia FOREVER.

They start throwing Magnus on the floor repeatedly, trying to get his t-cog to spin up. No dice, however.

It’s 4AM. Do you know where your Domey is? Because Rewind sure as hell doesn’t.

Okay, time for Plan B.

I’m guessing not, Rung. I’m guessing not.

Using Magnus as a trampoline does the trick, and the boys are rewarded with the sight of Magnus’ alt-mode… resting on its roof, upside down. They get him sorted, pile in the cab- Rewind is driving, which leads me to believe he at least has some experience handling a vehicle. Chromedome does turn into a car…

I don’t even know what that sort of activity implies for a Transformer. We won’t go any further down this line of thought.

The boys manage to get Ultra Magnus to the shuttle in time, and all’s well that ends well!

This is about the time that Blaster knocks on the glass at Swerve to wrap things up, seeing as he’s been at this for over nine hours now. There’s one last little aside before we’re done with our story, however, and it involves just what happened in the bar after everyone else left.

Cyclonus calmed down almost immediately after the rest of the guys left, paying for what he broke and inviting Tailgate to have a seat.

Well, I say invite, but it’s really more of an order.

If you’d already figured out at this point that this jumpy little marshmallow was lying about being the biggest badass who ever lived, a gold star for you! It turns out, dear Tailgate has been crafting a fabrication, spinning a yarn, telling a tall tale since Day One on the Lost Light. The story has been feeding us a steady diet of fish the whole time!

Red herring!

Red herring!

Red herring of Tailgate’s own design! Autopedia’s mods are a friggin’ joke.

Tailgate was supposed to be a the Ark 1 launch, but it was because he was on the cleanup crew. Boy’s a sluicer, and his arm SHOULD say "waste disposal”. Through a cunning use of his wits and cold reading, Tailgate faked his way through the dismantling of the bomb on Temptoria. A smart boy, he is, if not a bit self-centered.

Which brings us to why exactly Cyclonus freaked out in the bar: he wasn’t having an episode, but rather faking a reaction to prevent Tailgate’s lie from being exposed. He still thinks that Tailgate should come clean about this whole thing, before things get really messy, but it wouldn’t be an issue of MTMTE without some raw-ass emotions getting thrown about.

Cyclonus, who hasn’t allowed himself to feel anything other than simmering rage or national pride for over six million years, is beginning to feel something for Tailgate.

That feeling is sympathy, and maybe a little pity.

He offers to teach Tailgate a song to help him feel better, because that’s what he does when he has feelings.

And given that Cyclonus seems to sing often enough that Tailgate’s gotten used to the horrific sound, it might be that Cyclonus has feelings a hell of a lot more often than he lets on.

Roberts, how many times are you going to make Tailgate cry? How much pain are you going to subject him to before you’re satisfied?

The scene closes out on the two of them getting their karaoke on in the empty bar, in the god-awful language that is Old Cybertronian. I can only imagine that they get kicked out of the bar pretty quickly after this.

Getting back to the present, Swerve has finally, finally finished his story, closing out with an invitation for Blurr to come visit Swerve’s.

Blaster gets ready to shoot one hell of a voice message at Blurr, but there’s a problem; the number Swerve has isn’t long enough to be a personal hailing frequency.

Yeah, turns out that Tailgate isn’t the only liar on board the Lost Light.

Four million years ago, Swerve met Blurr at a publicity event, got way too friendly with a celebrity, pestered the guy until he gave him a fake number, and has convinced himself that he made a life-long friend to this very day.

Big oof.

Later, back at Swerve’s, Swerve is busy cleaning the glassware when Ultra Magnus comes in, sober and having just gotten out of surgery to fix his fuel tanks. Guess that second sip of Nucleon really wasn’t a good idea.

Swerve tries to tell a lie about what happened the night before, only to have the dawning horror that Magnus remembered the entire night, as he’s presented with a new badge. Swerve, bolstered by the fact that, while Magnus didn’t enjoy the previous evening, he appreciated having company, begins to ask Magnus if he’d want to room with him.

Wow, zero for three! That’s rough, buddy.

Kind of a bummer end to this whole issue, but it was still decently light, tone-wise, for MTMTE. A great deal of fun was had, in between all the mortifying reveals of our characters inner demons.

...Well, shit.

[peterbishop]

I'd be interested in what you could do for 52 or 91??

52. “I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

Jake Peralta needs a new comforter.

He also needs a new toaster and a new towel and probably a new couch, but a comforter, that’s what he needs most. Because he has a girlfriend now, someone who is smart and charming and beautiful, who likes going on dates with him and kissing him and sometimes even coming back to his apartment to completely undo him.

He can’t have her lying on his shitty comforter while he tries to put on his sexiest moves for her (that doesn’t count dancing anymore—he tried to do a Magic Mike move and it resulted him with an ice pack on his hamstring). Amy Santiago is too perfect and out of his league for him to do that. He can’t give her a reason to up and leave on him because he’s not sure if he would ever recover. And it’s irrational for him to think that—they’ve only been dating for a month, and it’s not like he’s close to saying I love you anytime soon, but a small part of him thinks this could be it. It: that forever and ever romantic kind of way, like all the Disney movies and his mom’s favorite sappy novels say.

So, he buys a pale blue comforter, because Amy looks good in blue and against blue, and he thinks he’d be okay with her never leaving his sheets.

Backtrack: he’d be more than okay with that.

“I was thinking,” she tells him on Thursday, “maybe I can stay at your place this weekend.”

“Really?” he perks up. “Like stay over Friday night and Saturday night?”

“That is the weekend,” she says flatly.

“Sounds like a sexy sleepover, Santiago,” he smiles, all teeth and charm.

She rolls her eyes, but it’s fond. “Don’t make me regret this.”

“As if I ever would,” he says like it’s a joke, but it’s bright honesty. His eyes soften, and hers do too, and he kinda really wants to kiss her right here in the bullpen. He knows the rules, specifically Amy’s rules when it comes to PDA, but curse him for having the most beautiful girlfriend in the world.

And he thinks she might want to kiss him too, how her lips bow and slightly separate. He’s starting to learn this look: the one where she wants to lean in and press her mouth to his. Sometimes, it’s chaste; her eyebrows flit up and she gives him an inquisitive smile. Other times, it’s deep and passionate and just a bit rough; she leans into him, her hands wandering all over his body like she’s trying to smother a flame, but rather she ignites it, heat and wanting in every touch.

He knows her, and she knows him: it’s perhaps the most intimate thing of all, to know and predict.

But for now, they watch each other, inspect and consider, and in the moment, it’s enough; it’s enough.

-

Jake vacuums his apartment. He moves his shoes and clothes off the floor, does the dishes, scrubs the countertops. He washes and rewashes the comforter, making it smell like flowers and subsequently, a bit like Amy. She always smells a touch like roses, sweet and summery, sun on her skin. Light, airy, and he wants to breathe her in.

Not in a weird way, of course. Totally not weird at all.

When Amy knocks on his door, he opens it with a smile, and she moves towards him, slanting her lips over his. It’s quick but alludes to something more, especially with the cinching of her eyebrows and curve to her mouth. She tosses her weekend bag on his chair and kicks off her shoes before falling to his couch.

“Hope you didn’t miss me too much during your day off,” she says with a smirk.

He thinks back to the nonstop cleaning he’s done on this Friday. “Oh, Ames,” he croons. “Are you saying that because you’re actually the one who missed me?”

“You wish,” she says, but the way she reaches for his hand to pull him down next to her that lets him know he’s right.

They order cheap Chinese food and put on HGTV, yelling insults when the couple picks the wrong house on House Hunters and nearly dropping chow mein on Jake’s couch. His fingers skim over the revealed strip of Amy’s skin from where her shirt has hiked up, and she laughs, breathy and teary-eyed. She’s ticklish, he concludes with a grin, and suddenly his hands all over her, listening to her wheeze and giggle. “Jake,” she struggles to say, “Jake,” as he pins her into the couch, smirking dangerously.

Suddenly, her hand is on the back of his head, and she’s tugging his mouth to hers. His hands fall to her hips, forgetting anything that has to do with tickling, and thinking about how he has the girl of his dreams under him instead. It’s all so easy in a way that still surprises him. It’s never been this easy for Jake before: relationships used to be tinged with uncertainty. Here, he kisses her and he knows she’ll kiss him back just as eagerly. Her tongue sweeps over his bottom lip, and he reciprocates, awash with hunger and a feeling he’ll later realize is falling in love. How she renders him powerless every time, how he’ll never be immune to her. It’s messy and desperate, teeth clanking and lips wandering.

“Let’s go to my bedroom,” he barely gets out.

He brings her to his bedroom, hand in hand, not knowing how to be without each other’s touch. She looks at him with dark eyes and flushed cheeks, and he lowers her onto his bed. Her back meets the comforter, and for a split second, all he can do is watch: her brown hair against the pale blue fabric, her chest moving with heavy breaths, her gaze weighted and imbued with desire. For him. It’s all for him. He considers her in such a way, thinks of her as a center to his galaxy, that he forgets she must think of him in the same way.

It’s enough to make him weak in the knees, and he’s on top of her again, propped up on his forearms and straddling her hips. His lips move from her mouth to her neck to her collarbone, reveling in the warmth of her skin. At first it’s languid exploration: his tongue sweeping over the sensitive hollow of her throat, her fingers playing with the curls of his hair, their mouths finding one another once more. 

Soon, it devolves into less adoration and more need and wanting; he’s pulling at her shirt, craving the plane of her stomach. He yanks off the fabric, tossing it to the side. She makes quick work of his plaid button-up, and suddenly the rest of their clothes are coming off, shucking off pants and throwing his belt and—

He jumps up at the sound of metal hitting glass. His eyes widen at the sight of a glass falling from his bedside table to his bed, orange soda cascading down his comforter.

“Fuck,” Jake grumbles.

Amy sits up, and he looks over at her, only wearing a bra and panties. He’s just in his boxers and they were so close, but now he’s ruined his new comforter and completely killed the mood.

He picks up the glass and desperately tries to mop up the puddle of orange soda with an old shirt he found caught between the bed-frame and his side table.

“I’m so sorry, Amy,” he says. “I tried to make this night perfect. I-I cleaned my apartment and picked up all my shoes and I even bought this new comforter, and now it’s ruined. Everything’s ruined.”

“Jake,” she says softly, her hand curling around his wrist. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” he replies bluntly, squeezing his eyes shut with a sigh.

“It’s just a spilled drink,” she tries.

“Please,” Jake scoffs, throat tight with adolescent insecurities. “You’ll probably want to go home now. Our weekend is a complete bust.”

“I’m not going home—“

“I just want to be a good boyfriend.” He throws the soiled shirt into the trash with a sigh.

“You are,” she says, sure and warmly. Her hands smooth over his stomach, up to his ribcage. They’re cold against his skin, but he barely notices. 

“Because I know I’m messy, and sometimes it seems like I don’t care, but really, I’m trying. I swear I’m trying. I can be better—”

“Jake,” she says, “I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

God, he almost wants to cry. Cry out of being liked so deeply, so unconditionally by Amy, the person he carries a torch for like no other. “You mean that?”

“Well,” she laughs, and he frowns, “I would change your diet and make you drink more water if I could, but other than that, I think you’re pretty perfect.”

He’s so lucky. So, so lucky. He holds her face in his hands when he draws her into a kiss. She smiles against his mouth, and he can’t stop himself from beaming too. It’s the type of joy that he makes it near impossible to kiss her, his mouth stretching overly wide.

“I guess we can sleep on my couch,” he says eventually, looking at the giant orange circle on his bed.

“I’m not sleeping on that thing,” she says. His shoulders drop. Her thumb circles over the pulse of his wrist, and she smiles. “Let’s get dressed and head to Ikea. We’ll get you a new comforter.”

It’s such a domestic idea, his heart almost gives out. “Okay,” he says, dropping his head so she doesn’t see the light blush on his cheeks.

She pulls on her shirt. Her lips curl mischievously: “And maybe pick things off where we left them when we get back.”

“Oh, you’re killing me, Ames,” he says. She tries to give him a wink, but it’s awkwardly terrible, making him laugh.

He wouldn’t change a thing about her, either.

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, January 4

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Ghislaine Maxwell buying her way out of prison

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Gavin Rossdale playing tennis with his pup Chewy, Brooke Burke holding holiday balls topless, James Franco takes his cellphone into the sea 

Page 3: Leighton Meester surfing in Malibu, Robbie Williams, Lisa Rinna wearing two masks 

Page 4: Angelina Jolie is bracing for major humiliation after being dragged into Johnny Depp’s latest legal showdown with ex-wife Amber Heard -- Angie’s run-ins with Johnny who she starred with in 2010′s The Tourist are coming under intense scrutiny as Depp gears for a second court battle with Amber -- Angie and Johnny were so coy about their white-hot connection at the time even though their romance was an open secret but they got lucky because nobody had the smoking gun to prove it but now it’ll all come out in the open -- at the time Johnny was still dating Vanessa Paradis while Angie was five years into her doomed love-in with Brad Pitt -- there’s talk bisexual Amber was kind of obsessed with Angie so Angie is central to the plotline whether she likes it or not

Page 5: The Bachelor host Chris Harrison is worried he’ll follow Dancing with the Stars host Tom Bergeron out the door -- both these shows have been on TV forever and the world has changed around them and to keep up with Black Lives Matter and the #MeToo movement changes are being discussed and that’s left Chris fearing he’ll be the next Tom Bergeron and replaced by a woman of color 

Page 6: Aging divas Loretta Lynn and Dolly Parton are caught in a bitter country catfight and long-dead Patsy Cline is the excuse -- although there’s been little love lost between the Nashville icons for nearly 50 years their simmering feud exploded weeks ago when Dolly apparently took some veiled public shots at Loretta’s BFF Patsy who was horribly disfigured in a car wreck two years before dying in a 1963 plane crash -- in an interview Dolly recalled standing in the wings of Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry at age 13 and watching Patsy perform and she remembered thinking about how awful it was that she got her pretty face scarred up like that -- Loretta was fit to be tied over the comments Dolly made about her old pal and thinks Dolly should stop running her mouth about Nashville legends like Patsy and Johnny Cash -- Dolly’s heard about Loretta’s complaints through the grapevine and brushes them off as quarantine boredom mixed with old age 

Page 8: Blake Shelton’s going bonkers after fiancee Gwen Stefani told him she wants to skip the mega-million star-studded wedding shindig he’s been planning and elope -- Blake is all bent out of shape over Gwen’s latest switcheroo which calls for them to get hitched on the sly at a Mexican resort and she’s got him so mixed up he can’t think straight because for the longest time she wanted the Hollywood-style wedding with all the bells and whistles and was very particular about details but now she’s telling him to ditch those plans which have already cost them a small fortune and book a trip somewhere exotic so they can just just get it over with -- Gwen wants to elope so they can hitched at the Riviera Maya resort in Cancun where they could swap vows on the beach witnessed by her three sons and Blake has no choice but to give in to Gwen and he’s saying he’s fine with it as long as she’s sure this time 

Page 9: Hollywood horndog John Mayer is back sniffing around old flame Jennifer Aniston after his mom gave him a shove -- John and Jen had a steamy fling for about a year before he dropped her in 2009 and now John’s mom Margaret Meyer is scolding him for letting Jen go and John’s mom is always on him about settling down and she feels that at 43 he should be married and she recently had a heart-to-heart talk with him and told him she thought Jennifer was the most down-to-earth of all his exes and because John considers his mom one of the smartest people he knows he decided to reach out to Jen and he’s always admired Jen and thought of her as a classy lady and now he’s reaching out to her again in hopes of getting her to agree to see him again once things leave lockdown 

* FKA Twigs has socked actor Shia LaBeouf with a bombshell lawsuit claiming he subjected her to relentless physical, emotional and mental abuse and gave her an STD and she also accuses him of sexual battery, assault, and infliction of emotional distress -- although Shia says she’s lying Twigs insists Shia once choked her in the middle of the night and kept a loaded firearm by the bed leaving her terrified to get up at night for fear he’d think she was an intruder and shoot her -- she claims during an incident around Valentine’s Day 2019 Shia threatened to crash his speeding car unless she professed her love for him so when he pulled into a gas station she got out of the car but he threw her against the car while screaming in her face then forced her back into the car -- Shia also had rules about how often Twigs had to kiss and touch him -- Shia has been arrested several times on now-dismissed charges including assault and disorderly conduct 

Page 10: John Lennon didn’t have to die -- that’s law enforcement experts’ explosive analysis after reviewing newly discovered evidence about the Beatles legend’s December 8, 1980 murder in NYC -- an odd series of coincidences and simple decisions put Lennon and his killer Mark David Chapman in the same place at the same time -- a review of the details concludes Lennon’s death was a strange result of flukes including his penchant for running around without protection and a missed appointment with his photographer and without these quirks of fate John would still be alive and recording hit songs 

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Pink flashes her bandaged thumb after getting stitches in Santa Monica (picture), Amanda Seyfried confesses she made a terrible decision for turning down the role of a lifetime as Chris Pratt’s love interest in Guardians of the Galaxy and now she’s watching from the sidelines as the director’s second choice Zoe Saldana skyrockets in the money-making Marvel franchise, Katherine Heigl will star in the upcoming limited biopic series Woodhull about Victoria Woodhull the first woman to run for president in 1872, Big Brother alum Zach Rance has come out as bisexual after admitting a sizzling same-sex romance with his former reality show housemate Frankie Grande who is the real-life older brother of pop star Ariana Grande

Page 13: Jaime King slurps down a meal on the streets on L.A. (picture), Jax Taylor mowing the lawn (picture), Guns N’ Roses axman Slash loads up on supplies at an L.A. grocery (picture), former teen heartthrob Chad Michael Murray admits his inflated young ego got the best of him and now he looks at photos of himself and thinks what a dweeb

Page 14: Julia Roberts is headed for the small screen headlining the limited TV series The Last Thing He Told Me where she’ll form an unexpected relationship with her teenage stepdaughter while searching for the truth about her husband’s mysterious disappearance, Emma Stone is also heading for the flat-screen in the comedy series The Curse alongside Nathan Fielder about a couple starring on an HGTV-style show who are trying to conceive a child amid an alleged curse, Nicolas Cage is hosting a new series called The History of Swear Words in which he’ll delve into the origins and pop culture usage and science and cultural impact of profanely shocking expletives

* Fashion Police -- Peyton List 8/10, Sofia Carson 9/10, Vanessa Hudgens 2/10, Neve Campbell 1/10, Chelsea Handler 4/10 

Page 16: Cover Story -- Jeffrey Epstein’s madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s $30M jail break -- terrified and tortured Ghislaine risks family fortune to buy her freedom -- the accused sex predator and her fat cat inner circle are set to plunk down an obscene $30 million to buy her way out of federal prison in what outraged investigators fear is a brazen plot to cheat justice 

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About Mayim Bialik

* Lizzo is admitting she’s having negative thoughts and is hating her 300-pound body but adds she knows she beautiful

* The Spice Girls were likely liquored up on cut-rate champagne when they made their first album according to Emma Bunton a.k.a. Baby Spice who says she and her bandmates swilled the cheapest sparkling wine in the studio 

Page 20: True Crime -- a chilling message left by the elusive Zodiac Killer has finally been cracked by a team of code breakers after 51 years -- a hodgepodge of numbers, symbols and letters called the 340 cipher was sent to the San Francisco Chronicle in 1969 and lawmen believed it contained key clues to the serial killer’s identity but the truth is even more chilling -- according to the experts the message says I hope you are having lots of fun in trying to catch me, I am not afraid of the gas chamber because it will send me to paradise all the sooner because I now have enough slaves to work for me 

Page 21: Caitlyn Jenner is terrified after learning her skin cancer has returned a second time -- she was diagnosed with basal cell skin cancer a few years ago and had an entire layer of skin removed from her nose -- since then she’s been slathering on sunscreen but a new red spot on the right side of her nose popped up along with some crusty areas on her scalp but the nose patch was not cancer but hypertrophic keratosis or scaly damage from sun exposure -- however the dozen spots on the top of her head was squamous cell carcinoma which is a skin cancer that’s known to be aggressive so her doctor burned off the offending spots -- her doctor recommended she replace her 1960 Austin-Healey convertible but the chances of Caitlyn selling her prized ride are slim 

Page 23: Your 2021 Horoscope -- love, luck, health, wealth, happiness -- plus surprising celebrity predictions -- Elton John, Valerie Bertinelli, Johnny Depp, Jessica Simpson, Matthew Perry, Cameron Diaz, Will Smith, Katy Perry, Howie Mandel, Savannah Guthrie, Justin Timberlake, Carrie Underwood 

Page 30: Larry King has reached a deal with estranged wife Shawn but she’s royally peeved about the payoff -- Larry has agreed to pay her a lump sum of $20,000 plus $33,000 a month in spousal support which lasts until at least their next scheduled hearing in April but Shawn claims the 33Gs only covers a third of her monthly nut which includes $25,000 for rent on her home, $12,000 on clothes, $3500 on groceries and $4500 for hair and nails and pet care and gym 

Page 31: Kim Kardashian is reading husband Kanye West the riot act over his junk food benders that are sabotaging her healthy eating program and it’s led to more than a few arguments with no peace in sight -- he’s telling her to chill and let him live by his own terms but she can’t do that because it’s driving her crazy -- what really ticks Kim off is his junk food has totally taken over her section of fresh cut veggies, fruits and water and she wants him to get his own storage in a different part of the house where she won’t have to see it or hold her nose 

* Kardashian momager Kris Jenner’s faux reality TV home is on the market for nearly $8 million even though she never lived there -- the L.A. estate was used for exterior shots of the image-conscious family’s compound on Keeping Up with the Kardashians but it was all for show -- dubbed the Iredell Estate the house also appears in True Blood and Chelsea Lately 

Page 33: Health Report 

Page 34: Wrestling Ring Kings: Where Are They Now? Sable, Bret Hart

Page 35: Lex Luger, Steve Austin, Ric Flair 

Page 36: The Undertaker, Tito Santana, Diamond Dallas Page 

Page 37: Kane, Kurt Angle, Sunny, Mick Foley 

Page 39: Despite an astounding 30 No. 1 country music hits legendary singer Charley Pride took a haunting regret to his grave that he never made it as major league baseball star -- Charley had so much success but he died tormented his baseball career short-circuited -- Charley was singing and playing guitar by the time he was 14 but his real goal was to pitch for the New York Yankees -- Charley signed with a Yankees farm team as a flame-throwing phenom at 17 but in his rookie season he threw out his arm and was just never the same -- after he struck out in baseball he put his full energy into singing but faced an uphill battle -- Charley was the Jackie Robinson of country music and he endured a lot of racism 

Page 40: Kelsey Grammer admits he often breaks down and blubbers like a baby and it makes him feel better and he cries when he’s upset or sad or scared and it provides him a lot of relief and he believes years of tragedy in his life taught him to cry as a healing mechanism and now he sheds tears whenever he has sad feeling bottled up inside him 

* A moneybags James Bond fan coughed up a whopping $256,000 for the handgun 007 Sean Connery toted in the first spy epic Dr. No -- the disabled Walther PP semi-automatic was supposed to bring in no more than $200,000 but the unidentified American buyer who claims to have seen every Bond epic went even higher 

Page 44: Straight Talk -- Miley Cyrus is now blabbing about why she broke up with husband Liam Hemsworth after years of togetherness and just nine months of marriage and it sounds like a case of the pot calling the kettle black 

Page 45: Furious Queen Elizabeth has booted Princess Eugenie and her husband out of Prince Harry’s Frogmore Cottage home in a bit to foil Meghan Markle’s plan to completely cut him off from England and the royal family -- pregnant Eugenie and her booze-seller husband Jack Brooksbank were ordered to quit the cottage and move back to Kensington Palace just six weeks after Harry and Meghan secretly leased them the home meaning Harry and Meghan are still on the financial hook for Frogmore which was a gift from the queen and they will have to underwrite the cost of keeping up the property and it also ensures Harry has a home in Britain if he ever wants to come back -- by moving Eugenie and Jack out the queen has made sure Harry still has a place to hang his hat if he decides to come back to leave his American wife 

Page 47: Bizarre But True 

[kprciffdw]

Kim Possible: The Extremely Secret Files-Part 16

Ratchet and the rest of the group made their way to and arrived at the Planet Boldan. They landed themselves in a large, silver colored metropolis and jumped out of the ship. Kim: "Let's go find Mr. Fizzwidget."

They rushed off as fast as they could. As they made their way to the entrance to the city, they got themselves involved in a fight with the Thugs-4-Less goons. Kim: "Oh, great! More of those boneheads! What could they want from us, this time?" Ratchet: "I'm guessing whoever bought them off also has an agenda with us." Kim: "Well, then, let's see to it that they don't get anything that they need from us."

As they continued further into the city, they fought through more Thugs-4-Less goons. There seemed to be more and more of them coming as they progressed into the city while searching for Mr. Fizzwidget, with no end in sight of the barrage. Many of the Thugs stood in their way, but they were able to manage them, except for Ron who always ran away screaming at the sight of them. Ratchet: "I'm guessing he'll want a special order of those Nacos he keeps asking for." Kim: "Grande size. Absolutely."

They kept on their way, with the path becoming tougher for each step. They were eventually able to find someone that appeared to be Mr. Fizzwidget. Kim: "Look! There he is." Ratchet: "Let's get him."

However, when they got close enough towards him, they found that it wasn't him, but a robotic duplicate. Ratchet: "What the…? This isn't Mr. Fizzwidget!" Fizzwidget bot: "Would you like a free Protopet sample? Available today only…" Ron: "Aw, man! It's just a cheap, broken-down knock off!" Ratchet: "You can say that again." Thug Leader: "Freeze, knuckleheads!" Clank: "Oh, no!" Kim: "What!? You again!?" Thug Leader: "You've got that right, missy redhead! Yous alls are under arrest for attempting to bump off Mr. Fizzwidget!" Ron: "You're kidding, right? This isn't…" Thug Leader: "Save it, blondie boy! You're not fooling anyone!" Kim: "Brainless as always." Thug Leader: "Good thing a loyal employee of Megacorp informs me of your scheme."

Stepping out from behind the Thug Leader was Dr. Drakken. He had an evil grin displayed on his face very vividly. Drakken: "Oh, quite right, my good man." Ratchet: "Drakken!" Ron: "You bought off these Thugs-4-Less guys from that thief girl?" Drakken: "That's right. Megacorp has given me special ties to their corporation so I have been doing some work on the side for them along with my…other obligations." Kim: "Don't think for a minute that you will succeed, Drakken! We're going to stop you!" Thug Leader: "Oh, I wouldn't count on that, missy redhead. All of yous will be sent to our new prison. Check this out."

He pulled out a monitor. Displayed on it was a preview of the new Thugs-4-Less prison and a few things that it provided. Thug Leader: "(laugh) So, what did you guys think of that?" Ron: "Well, that didn't seem so bad. In fact, it sounded really nice." Drakken: "Did I forget to mention that it's full of rabid monkeys and I will destroy Bueno Nacho if you and your friends try to escape?"

Within a split second, Ron went from calm to screaming and running all over the place. Ratchet: "Uh…well…this is awkward." Thug Leader: "You guys, take the girl over to the blue guy. These other 3 are going separate."

A few of the Thugs grabbed Kim and pulled her over to Drakken. Kim: "Ratchet!" Ratchet: "I'll find you, Kimberly. Just don't worry. I will…"

Shortly afterwards, they were flown to the Thugs-4-Less prison on the Planet Aranos. Ratchet was placed in a cell with Clank. Kim and Ron were nowhere to be found. Ratchet lied down on a mattress, then sat up as Clank made a lot of noises. Ratchet: "Hey, keep it down, will ya…!?" Clank: "Sorry, I did not mean to annoy you." Ratchet: "Uh! No, no, you weren't. I…I'm just worried about Kimberly. Who knows what horrible things Drakken could be doing to her right now?" Clank: "Yes, I understand your plight. Just to let you know, I have analyzed our surroundings and I am afraid that there is absolutely no means of escape."

Just then, a female bot broke right through a nearby air vent. Clank: "Except that."

She shushed them then slipped back out. Ratchet: "Someone's got a girlfriend. (giggle)" Clank: "I will be right back." Ratchet: "Don't, uh, stop for anything along the way."

Clank glanced at him in an annoyed manner then walked out.

He made his way through the secluded interiors of the facility. With the help of a few robot companions of his own, he was able to navigate through the small corridors. There were many obstacles in the way, including several guard bots, but it wasn't anything that he and his robot brigade couldn't handle.

He fought his way through chamber after chamber, corridor after corridor until he was able to find a switch and pressed it. Computer voice: "Power failure on decks 4 through 14." Clank: "Hopefully that should be help us out with our situation."

Meanwhile, back where Ratchet was, his cell was deactivated. Computer voice: "Emergency generators online." Ratchet: "Way to go, Clank! Now to find Kimberly."

He rushed out as fast as he possibly could. As he made his way through the corridors of the facility, he fought against many robot guards; a lot of which went berserk from the power failure caused by Clank. Everywhere he looked, robots came at him without hesitation, but he was able to manage and fight through all of them. He made his way to another deck on the prison ship.

Elsewhere, Clank continued through the small corridors of the ship. He was aided by more robot companions that followed his every command. There were a few tough obstacles that kept getting in his way, but he was able to handle them all, with the help of his robot companions, of course. Thankfully, the trek was brief so it didn't take him long to get through. He was eventually able to make his way towards the hanger bay. Clank: "Alright, now I just need to wait here for Ratchet. Hopefully, he is able to find Miss Possible and Ron."

Meanwhile, Ratchet arrived on another deck of the ship. There, he continued fighting his way through more robots, but this time, none of them were going berserk. Ratchet: "Hm, seems as though these robots haven't been affected by that power failure that Clank caused. Perhaps it's because this is one of the decks that didn't experience the power failure at all. I have to keep searching for Kimberly."

He kept rushing through the corridors. He was able to arrive in an area where he could hear voices. Kim: "You so won't get away with this, Drakken." Drakken: "Oh, but I will this time. With those Thug-4-Less goons at my command, my plans will be a sure-fire win and you will witness my greatest triumph." Kim: "Oh, please, those Thugs-4-Less idiots will not guarantee you anything other than a less than average dependency that is probably much less promising than their bonehead leader's IQ points." Ratchet: "Kimberly."

He rushed over towards where the voices were coming from. Drakken: "Well, regardless, my plans will succeed and the Impossible Space Station of the Future will ensure my victory!"

Ratchet managed to find Drakken and Shego in a small room with Kim, who was hooked up to a restraining machine. Kim: "Yeah, sure, I bet you're not even aware of what is contained within that space station you stole." Shego: "Oh, we already know that the ISSF consists partially of alien technology. I've had my suspicions considering that no ordinary Earth spacecraft could reach another galaxy within 2 hours or even at all, for that matter." Drakken: "There are many more secrets that I have yet to discover, but once I unlock them, everyone back on Earth will tremble before the awesome might of Dr. Drakken!" Kim: "Oh? And how do you suppose you'll be able to do that?"

While Kim was still talking to Drakken and Shego, Ratchet crept around nearby. Drakken: "Like I told you before, I have established a special connection with Megacorp. The CEO of the company is providing me with the resources and know-how to unlock the ISSF's secrets, in exchange for the services that I am willing to provide for him and his company." Ratchet: "So Mr. Fizzwidget is working with Dr. Drakken. Just when I thought that geezer couldn't get any worse." Drakken: "And that cat alien boyfriend of yours was far too clueless and naïve to even realize that Mr. Fizzwidget was merely using him to undo one minor set-back on his own schemes and then planned to dispose of him when he was no longer needed."

Ratchet growled angrily. Kim: "We already know that Mr. Fizzwidget is planning to intentionally set off a terrible disaster, but why would he want to do that?" Drakken: "Eh, I don't know, but I don't really care. What happens in this galaxy is none of my concerns. I only care about taking over the Earth."

At that moment, they heard a blast. They looked over towards the nearby door and noticed Ratchet who was greatly angry. Kim: "Ratchet!" Drakken: "What?! How did you get all the way here?!" Ratchet: "I walked! How else did I get here?" Drakken: "That's not what I meant, what I meant was…!" Shego: "He means to ask you how you got out of your cage, but that doesn't matter because I'm going to throw you back in one way or another." Ratchet: "You don't scare me one bit, Shego!"

Ratchet made an advance towards Kim, but Shego jumped in his way. Still greatly angered, he managed to fight her and tossed her directly into a switch that deactivated the shackles holding Kim, releasing her. Kim: "Ratchet!"

She ran towards him at great speed. Ratchet: "Kimberly!"

They embraced each other and had their moment as they reunited. Kim: "You came!" Ratchet: "I told you I would find you. I'm just hoping you didn't expect me here sooner."

She shook her head. Kim: "Forget that. I'm just glad you came at all."

Ratchet smiled. Soon enough, they both noticed Drakken and Shego rushing out. Ratchet: "They're getting away!" Kim: "Don't worry about them, we'll catch up to them later and we will, considering Drakken stole the container with the shuttle pieces we have managed to collect. For now, we just need to look for Ron." Ratchet: "But where could he be? We'll need to search this entire prison ship to find him." Ron: "AAAHHHH! MONKEYS!" Ratchet: "Or we could just follow the sounds of his screaming." Kim: "Yeah, I think that would be a lot more helpful."

They soon ran off.

[aire101]

Ferrum Intro

My brain absolutely, positively refuses to focus on romance atm, which means I have made no progress on my WIP and instead my brain ended up producing this concept which I will probably continue at least until I get it out of my system.  So here’s the beginning of a post-Endgame MCU/SAO Irondad fic that I went online to read, discovered it didn’t exist yet, and so could NOT GET OUT OF MY DAMN HEAD.

-------

It had been a long day.

Then again, every day seemed like a long one lately.

It had been a relatively beautiful November day for New York City, and with the approaching holidays Peter was starting to see the usual uptick in petty crime begin this season. Within his five hour patrol he had helped eight lost tourists, found one lost pet, caught two armed burglars and tied up a ridiculous number of petty thieves. Nothing too problematic, just another day in the life of our friendly neighborhood Spider-man.

Peter sat crouched on a roof looking over the newest Iron Man mural to pop up, this time right on the edge between Queens and Brooklyn. There were several around town already, but this one was especially heart-wrenching. Most were either of the armor mid-action or of Mr. Stark in his trademark press look. But this one was different in the best and worst way.

In this art, Mr. Stark was still in his armor, but the helmet was retracted, allowing the viewer to see the blood crusted on his face, the lines of worry even deeper than they were before everything had gone to hell. There weren’t many pictures of Mr. Stark from the five year period now known as the Blip, but in the ones there were Peter knew he had looked like this— tired and worn in a way Peter had never seen, but could well understand. All in all, it looked uncannily similar to the last time Peter had seen him. When—

Anyway—

And on the shoulders of this mural’s Tony Stark rested an enormous orb holding dozens of galaxies spiraling around a central point— a tiny arc reactor in the shape of a heart.

There was still a little while before he would be expected at Ned’s tonight, but the more he tried to convince himself to hit the streets again, the heavier his limbs felt.

He couldn’t do it. Not like this. Experience told him it was a recipe for disaster, likely to get himself or someone else badly hurt. Himself he could handle, someone else… his conscience couldn’t take another body added to its count right now. Besides, he had promised Ned he’d be there tonight.

Peter sighed and swung away from his rooftop perch to head back towards Ned’s, not sparing the art a backwards glance.

No matter how good it was, no reproduction could ever duplicate what he had lost.

----------

“Whoa, you’re early,” said Ned with a mild tone of shock. Which honestly… was probably fair. “I wasn’t expecting you for at least another thirty minutes.”

“Yeah, I decided to call it a night early. It was actually pretty quiet tonight anyway. Didn’t want to get too wrung out on the web considering we have plans tonight,” said Peter as he stepped into the Leeds’ apartment, slipping off his shoes and hanging his coat on the rack. “Where is everyone?”

“Dad has to work tonight, and mom and Angelica went to Laser Bounce earlier, but they should be back before too long. I stayed home to finish some stuff up before the launch tonight. Plus, I wasn’t sure when you’d be getting here, so…”

“Sorry, I should have messaged earlier.”

“You’re alright man. Like I said, I had some stuff to wrap up. I plan to be in-game as much as possible tomorrow,” said Ned as they moved into his bedroom.

“You sure you don’t mind me getting the first run tonight? They might have some secret opening event planned for the first few hours…” asked Peter.

“I am absolutely positive. I am going to have plenty of opportunities to lose unhealthy amounts of sleep to this game. Besides, between the two of us I think you need the break more than me.  On a related note— you look terrible man. Have you been sleeping at all?”

“I sleep,” said Peter defensively. “I don’t really need much though, you know?”

“Physically, sure. Mentally? You’re still just as human as the rest of us Peter. Have you talked to May about it? Or Happy?”

“Can we please drop this? It’s just been a long day, alright?”

“What happened? I thought you said it was mostly quiet?” asked Ned, confused.

“I meant it was quiet for New York, I was still busy pretty much all evening,” said Peter, falling backwards onto Ned’s bed.

Ned sat down at his computer, spinning around to face Peter. “Fine, but I’m definitely going to harass you later, and you better actually sleep after we trade off in a few hours. Anyway, I am SO PSYCHED or this! God I hope its worth all the hype.”

“I can’t imagine it being a flop. The tech behind it is revolutionary, and the head developer has been working on the game for like a decade,” said Peter, as he scrolled through the GameSpot special coverage from that day.

“Wasn’t SI contracted to consult on it, too?” asked Ned.

Peter felt his throat begin to constrict. The nails of his right hand bit into the flesh of his palm as he forced himself to take a slow breath—hold—and release…

“Yeah, Mr. Stark consulted on it himself. Some of the engineering on the headset is similar to the BARF technology. I think he might have worked on a couple system AI’s as well.”

“That is so cool man. So this is almost like his last tech contribution? Last gift to the world…”

“I doubt that. It was just a consult job, most of the work was done by Argus. Plus, Mr. Stark had years worth of projects and updates on file. We’ll probably see things he had a hand in being released for the next ten years at the least,” said Peter.

“Still pretty cool though,” said Ned with a shrug.

At that moment, Peter heard the sound of a key being inserted into the lock of the front door.

“Looks like they’re back,” he said, continuing to scroll, this time through discussions on Reddit.

“Have you had dinner yet? You know if you haven’t she’s going to force you to eat before you dive.”

“Nah, I didn’t get a chance to stop off earlier. What kind of leftovers do ya have?”

“I think there’s meatloaf and some chicken adobo left at the moment.”

“Yaaasss… Chicken adobo…”

Just then Ned’s bedroom door opened, and Mrs. Leeds poked her head in, a large smile on her face.

“Peter! I thought I saw your coat by the door! I’m glad you were able to make it tonight! Edward has been excited about the sleepover for weeks,” she said.

“Oh my god, mom! It’s not a sleepover! I doubt we’ll even sleep much!”

“Isn’t that what sleepovers are about?! You’re ridiculous… Anyway, have you eaten?” Mrs. Leeds asked, looking at Peter.

Peter had to bite back a smile, but shook his head.

“Hala ka, you’re going to waste away into dry bones! I don’t care how busy you are these days, you shouldn’t be skipping meals. You’ll blow away in a strong breeze. Come, I’ll heat something up. I know how bad you boys get about eating when its a normal game. A full immersion VR? You’ll forget you even have a real body that needs sustenance.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Peter, dutifully following her into the kitchen.

“You are in luck. We have some leftover chicken adobo from last night. I know you like that recipe. Did May ever give it a go?”

Peter flashed back to the gloopy, slightly charred mess that was May’s attempt at cooking the dish. “Eh… Yeah but it wasn’t quite the same. Still needs a bit of work.”

“Huh,” Mrs. Leeds said, sounding confused.

“Peter!” shouted a voice from behind him.

“Hey Angie,” said Peter, before he felt arms wrap around him from behind in a bear hug.

His heart throbbed in his chest. His breath caught and wouldn’t come.

Thanos was coming for the gauntlet he couldn’t let him have it he had to run the aliens were grabbing him he had to—

“You never come around anymore! It’s been months—!”

“Stop that Angelica. It’s been a crazy year, and Peter stays very busy between school and an internship. Shouldn’t you be getting ready for bed? It’s already way passed bedtime.”

Angie rolled her eyes dramatically but stomped back off towards her room to do as she was asked.

“Sorry, dear. She just missed her big brothers, you know.”

Peter did his best to force out a grin, but he wasn’t sure just how well it came off because the next thing he knew Mrs. Leeds was giving him a tender kiss on the head and muttering about making some cups of cocoa.

It was moments like this that he truly felt the strange reality of the fact that he had lost five years of his life. On the surface level everything felt mostly the same— Aunt May along with the majority of his friends had also been snapped, as well as several of his teachers. But while they were gone, Ned’s little sister aged from an innocent five year old, to a ten year old girl who had grown in a world in more confusion, pain and desperation than Peter could really comprehend. Freshman he had helped tutor in school had graduated. Families he had known were irreparably torn apart, seemingly overnight.

It felt like while he was still the same, the rest of the world had tilted slight to the left, leaving him unbalanced and unsure where to step next. He’d always felt a bit out of place anyway after the spider bite, but now it was so much worse. Sometimes Peter wanted a taste of what normal used to be like, without freaky spider powers, world protecting responsibilities and the guilt of looking around him and wondering if he deserved to be here at all.

He glanced at the clock that hung on the wall— fifteen minutes till midnight.

“I should probably go brush my teeth too and get settled in. The server will open soon,” said Peter as he stood.

“Yeah, though there shouldn’t really be much to do other than to actually connect since we calibrated your account the other day,” said Ned.

Within ten minutes Peter had taken care of his nightly necessities and given Angie and Mrs. Leeds both a hug goodnight, settling in on the upper bunk of Ned’s bed.

“Last time I’m asking— are you sure you don’t mind me giving this the first run?” asked Peter.

Ned sighed and spun around from his computer to send Peter an exasperated look. “Do you not want to take it on its maiden voyage?”

“That’s not what I said,” Peter rolled his eyes.

“Then stop worrying.  Just have a good time for once.  Also, I downloaded a couple files to the gear.  Not sure how reliable it is yet, but a few beta testers put out some first floor tips on the DL as a downloadable in game file, so check that out once you dive.  It might help out a bit.”

“Will do.  Thanks.”

“No problem.  Now get going, and be sure to take plenty of notes in your journal to send me later.”

“See you around, kid.”

“I am older than you are by two months.  Shut up and dive, loser.”

Peter smiled as he fitted the Nervegear onto his head, laid back and said, “Link Start.”

———————

In a remote, nondescript server room a certain file kicked to life.  It’s programming had been remotely accessed, a mere accident of oversight.  The digital pathways that connected it to the Argus servers, while known about, had been forgotten in the chaos of the last few years.  The file was not one created within the system, but one created to interact within it.  The Cardinal system downloaded the precious data, implementing it in the category that best described its form and function.

Program designation: Client

System ID: Ferrum Vir

Administration level: GM

. . . .

Installation Complete

————————

At 12:00 am EST on November 5th, 2023 (1:00 pm JST), Peter Parker joined 10,000 others in the world’s first full dive MMORPG— Sword Art Online.

And so did a very confused Anthony Edward Stark.

[if-weshadows-haveoffended]

Harana - Padawan!Obi-Wan x Reader

A/N: Man I really sat on this wip for 3 whole ass years. OBI-WAN AND INFINITE SADNESS? I DON’T KNOW HER. I ONLY KNOW TEA AND MIST DIFFUSERS. There are some sneaky references to Casablanca in here and a section of Anne of Avonlea.

Harana in the rural Filipino tradition is the act of courtship by serenading (with guitar) and often has the serenadee to respond back in kind (also with guitar). Often your bros would help you woo a girl by being your back up players and singers. Imagine Romeo and Juliet balcony but with significantly more guitars and second-hand embarrassment. Also the wookiepedia entry on music is absolutely WILD. (Reposting bc tumblr hates me and the tags were broken)

Title: Harana Tags: @fangirltothe-end​ , @hellotherekenobi​ Words: 1650+ Masterpost: here (x) Prompt List: here (x) Mixtape Archive: here (x) The Obi-Wan Kenobae playlist (x)

Perhaps you’d foolishly consider yourself a hopeless romantic.

It just seemed one of those days: sunny and the breeze just a touch warm, the scent of Ithorian roses and Sachi blossoms drifting upon it as you spent a day idly reading upon the balcony of your apartment. Somehow it was as if nothing could go wrong. Not spilling your tea all over the counter, not making your bath far, far too warm, hells not even the dozens of unopened messages on your comm could ruin the quiet serenity you were feeling.

And you may as well enjoy it after all, this reprieve from the tedium of study would only last for a few more days. You’d spent enough time watching holo-movies and idly playing music upon your old guitar as it was. It was time to finally work through that pile of reading you had always intended to get to.

The sun was slowly descending beyond the rolling hills at the horizon and you were well into your bookchip now. A story you felt viscerally, had read and re-read so many times and yet you yearned and pined and loved alongside the protagonists of the story. You would always smile, feeling your soul alight as your eyes traced the words upon the screen. Perhaps that explosive, violent love was never for you. The ones they showed in holodramas where the lovers would dramatically meet at the docking bay for one last passionate kiss. A confession and a farewell all at once. No, you ached for something quieter. Something as constant and warm as sunlight.

‘Perhaps, after all,’ you read, ‘romance did not come into one’s life with pomp and blare, like a Jedi knight flying down; perhaps it crept to one’s side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps… perhaps… love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship- ’

You were suddenly pulled out of your reverie at the sound of footsteps and the murmur of a voice.

“Who’s there?” Your hands gripped at a small blaster in the folds of your dress in reaction to the sudden sound, eyes frantically scanning the deceptively serene balcony. Datapad in hand, you slowly made your way to the wide stone ledge. Carefully brushing off fallen blush-coloured petals you precariously leaned over, checking for any assailants below the ledge. Granted it was a stupid idea, but it was worth a shot anyway.

What you hadn’t been expecting was a young man sitting on a balcony ledge below, quietly singing to himself as he stared out into the far distance.

Kriff abort mission, no, nooooooo….nah... nope can’t do this.

You really couldn’t, he looked far too peaceful with one leg tucked under his arm, the other lazily over-hanging his ledge as half-lidded crystal eyes stared out to the peaceful idyll of distant lakes and hills. And yet, you were still there, half-falling off your ledge and staring at this boy as if you’d been ordered to memorise his appearance in order to assassinate him in the marketplace tomorrow. But something tugged at the back of your mind as you took in his relaxed robes in a sort of cream colour, the brown cloak discarded carelessly upon the balcony floor and what appeared to be a braid peeking out from behind his ear-

Oh no, oh kriff… oh kriff, kriff.

You were unaware that the Jedi were even allowed to sing. You’d always been taught that they were a hermit-y sort that didn’t do the whole singing-and-dancing-and-women-and-drink-and-wine-and-merriment sort of thing. Probably spent their free time herding shaak and the like.

But clearly you were very, very wrong.

He was a wonderful singer. His voice carrying the romantic yet mournful tune that you must have heard somewhere before. Was it a play? No, it must have been one of those sweeping holo-movies that always seemed to make every being in the room cry as the battered cantina owner lamented the return of his lost love. What was it? He’d refused to have that song played ever again? And yet he did, drinking whiskey, a single tear falling down his noble features. They’d always have Correlia, he’d say, assuring himself that he truly was fine and not crumbling apart within.

And that young man was still singing the tune, and you… you were simply transfixed at his beauty and his serenity, wondering what other power in the galaxy had blessed him so with coppery hair that glistened just so under the blaze of the setting sun.

“Hello there!” He turned suddenly and cheerfully waved to you.

There were many things you would tell people in the future about that time you first encountered the famous General Kenobi; “The Negotiator”. His kindness, his laughter, his smile…What you wouldn’t tell them, was the absolute mess you’d made of yourself while you fell off your balcony ledge and onto your tiled floor.

Like a complete and absolute ass.

Oh and your pad had tumbled off the marbled edge and cluttered upon the tiles of the Jedi’s balcony.

But it was alright with the coppery-haired piece of shit, apparently. He was profusely apologising and bounding up with his magical force powers to stand upon the narrow ledge on the other side of the stone balustrade.

“Are you alright?” He tilted his head in confusion, padawan braid swinging against his chest. You felt your mouth open and close, but you doubted anything escaped. “It appears your pad has smashed itself into smithereens.”

“I-I,”

“You can speak Basic, can’t you? If not, I can translate into-” He offered very quickly,

“No, of course I can speak Basic, I was just…” Gingerly, you prised yourself off the floor, dusting down rumpled skirts and staring at the odd Jedi. “You’re a wonderful singer,” you blurted.

“Well thank you,” He replied, a little flustered, a hand moving to fiddle with his cute little nerf tail.

Cute. Cute? Kriff, you’d only been talking to the boy for the last thirty seconds. Surely this was a new record.

“I didn’t know Jedi sang,” You rambled on and you simply knew that heat would be pooling up in your face for the boy to see-

Oh no, it was fine, he was turning a rather charming shade of pink too. It only seemed to get worse, didn’t it? Oh of course, of course he was cursed with dimples. You really should have just cut your losses and fled.

He laughed, swinging a leg over your balustrade and sitting upon it. “Oh we sing sometimes, my master says it drives him up the walls. But I am sorry, I’ve been terribly impolite. I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padawan learner.” He held out a hand and you took it, shaking it as well as you could given your dazed circumstances. You were pretty sure, however, that you at least managed to give him your name.

“Well, Y/N, however can I make this up to you?” He gestured to the mangled, metallic remains below. “It is more or less my fault and-”

He still had not let go of your hand, and despite all common sense, you found no reason to let go. How could you? Obi-Wan (you had the sneaking suspicion it would roll off your tongue) continued rambling and you merely stepped away, your hand fighting to remain in his until you were too far, finger tips brushing against a calloused palm.

“Wait here,” You said, placating the concerned look that had passed before his face. Your feet traced the path through your room, eyes frantically scanning for the sight of warm Kashyyk wood before hefting it into your hands and quickly returning to the waiting Jedi. You noticed with some amusement that he’d balled his hands into the sleeves of his robes. “That pad was old anyway,”

He raised a sceptical brow, “Your face certainly said otherwise,”

“It doesn’t really matter. I’d read that story enough times to recite it in my sleep.” Heart pounding in your chest you mustered the courage to sit beside him, transferring the guitar to his awaiting arms. “Do you play?”

“A little. It was an elective.” He responded, “I’m sure it’s nowhere near as good as you,”

“Flatterer.” You briefly met his gaze, transfixed by their colour. Like a lake mirroring a cloudless sky. And you knew that you were lost. “Well, I’ve been starved for someone else to play with.”

“Have you now?” His teasing was going to be the death of you.

“Yes, now go and be all chivalrous and play something wonderful.”

“Any particular requests?” He asked, focused upon adjusting his hands upon the frets, fingers outlining the ghosts of chords. “Well?” He found your eyes once again, the answer slipping from your tongue faster than you could have ever expected.

It didn’t matter in that moment that a bemused Jedi Knight sat a floor below, basking in the comfort of the living force and the gentle sound of singing above him. It didn’t matter that he should really be bundling that boy off into their ship and off to debrief a council that would be mildly irritated at his choice to delay their return by a day or two.

All you knew- all you were consumed by- was the feeling of your fingers sliding their way along metal strings to familiar positions, passing a well-loved instrument back and forth and exchanging laughs as you missed notes. And if your hands lingered for too long upon his as you performed yet another exchange, you didn’t care.

No, all that mattered in the universe right now was the sound of your voices carrying the half-remembered tune of a song you both loved. And perhaps, just perhaps, this was that shaft of illumination you had hoped for.

[infinitestarsintheskye]

I was tagged by the ever lovely @besidemethewholedamntime, thanks lovely! 😘

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?

Just plain black. Nothing exciting unfortunately!

2. Name a food you never eat

Mushrooms, and at the moment, cheese. Damned dairy intolerance.

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Both, but usually cold. My internal heating and cooling system is truly buggered, thanks to the fact that I was a premmie baby. Just one of the many fun side effects.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Fannying about after having a shower. Every single day I do this and I don’t know why.

5. What’s your favorite candy bar?

CURRENTLY, it is the Galaxy Vegan caramelised hazelnut chocolate and oh my god it’s so good. A lot of vegan chocolate is really crumbly and whilst it tastes good, the texture is just off and that kind of ruins it for me. But Galaxy have really nailed the texture, it’s just creamy and good and just tastes and feels like real chocolate and I was honestly so happy the first time I tried it.

6. Have you ever been to professional sports event?

I have! I went to a few Scottish Premier League (football) games when I was younger, with my dad, before realising that I didn’t enjoy it much. I have also been to one singular hockey match, which really tells you everything you need to know about how I found that. Honestly I don’t really go in much for sports. I enjoy watching horse riding, show jumping and the like, and figure skating, and that’s about it.

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?

“WHAT ARE YOU EATING?!” To the doggo, who had just got a hold of the leftovers of my dad’s lunch.

8. What is your favorite ice cream?

Ben and Jerry’s do an ice cream that has vanilla on one side, and chocolate on the other, with a full ass BLOCK of caramel in the middle, and it is probably the unhealthiest thing I have ever consumed, but oh my god it’s so good.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Tea! Please assume that I am always drinking tea, it is a fairly accurate assumption.

10. Do you like your wallet?

Eh. It’s okay. It’s getting a bit old but I’ve been putting off getting a new one.

11. What is the last thing you ate?

One of those tiny little packets of haribo that are STILL somehow leftover from Halloween

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

I did! I bought a new top for work, a white jumper bc white goes with everything and I’m a bit lazy.

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched?

On purpose? The 2018 Winter Olympic Ice Dance final when Virtue/Moir FINALLY WON THE GOLD!!! It was on until like 3/4am, and I had 3 back to back lectures the next day, and I was SO TIRED, but oh it was worth it!! I think the mens individual final was on the next night but I FULLY fell asleep halfway through 😬

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

Sweet and salty!

15. Who is the last person you send text message to?

My sister! I was ranting about The Crown and she was just kind of listening haha

16. Ever been camping?

Twice! Both my guide troop. Once just cause, and once bc it was the Centenary of Girl Guiding in the UK and all of the troops in our county pitched up in a giant field for the weekend, which was good fun! Would I do it again? Maybe not. I’m not really that outdoorsy, but I will give anything a go once.

17. Do you take vitamins?

Nope! I probably should, but I swear every time I start taking vitamin C I get a cold. Not sure if this is just my immune system being weird or if I am actually cursed.

18. Do you regularly attend a place of workship?

Nope! I am very much agnostic. I used to live almost right across the road from a church, that was fun on a Sunday morning no need to set an alarm, and I used to walk past, I kid you not four or five on my way to work, which is a lot considering it was ALL ONE ROAD and a fairly short walk.

19. Do you have a tan?

Nope! I’m so pale I reflect the sun back.

20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza?

Pizza!!! I miss it!!! Dairy free cheese suuuuuccckkksssss

21 . Do you drink your soda through a straw?

Not really. I didn’t really before but I’m really not a fan of paper straws and them getting all soggy.

22. What color socks you usually wear?

Literally every single colour. A lot of blue and navy but I’m not kidding, it is every colour.

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I can’t drive so I can’t go over the speed limit haha

24. What terrifies you?

Oh well, what a fun question. So much. Ultimately failure. Failure to do anything worthwhile in my life, failure to help people, failure in my personal life. The list goes on. And heights. I am truly truly terrified of heights.

25. Look to your left, what do you see?

The doggo!! 🐶

26. What chore do you hate the most?

Sorting through odd socks. All black socks should be burned imo.

27. What do you think when you hear Australian accent?

Neighbors. My mum loved Neighbors in its hayday, and it is always discussed when Kylie or Jason Donovan is on the telly haha.

28. Whats your favorite soda?

Good old lemonade.

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit drive through?

Can’t drive so go in. My flatmate and I got really bad for ordering in McDonalds last year after it got put on Uber eats. She was a terrible influence on me I swear.

30. What’s your favorite number?

8!

31. Who’s the last person you talked to?

My granny!

32. Favorite meal?

My mum’s leftover chicken risotto with bacony bits

33. Last song you listened to?

According to Spotify, Smoke by Gia Margaret (suprise surprise, its from the Normal People soundtrack)

34. Last book you read?

Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell. Such a beautifully written book. Very casually magical and oh so very sad.

35. Favorite day of the week?

Tuesday, but I couldn’t tell you why.

36. Can you say alphabet backwards?

Absolutely not.

37. How do you like your coffee?

I don’t like coffee. I like the smell but it is far too bitter for me and the caffeine makes me feel truly awful.

38. Favorite pair of shoes?

I have a pair of brown boots that are almost victorian in style, they lace up, and made of the softest leather and I love them to utter pieces.

39. Time you normally get up?

On a normal day, usually any time after 10am. I like my bed and I don’t go to sleep until quite late. When I’m working, it’s usually between half past 6 and 9am.

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunset?

Sunset. I am very much a night owl.

41. How many blankets on your bed?

At the moment I just have my big thick duvet which keeps me very cosy and I never want to get out of my cosy bed, but I FULLY expect that to increase as it gets colder bc I am a cold creature.

42. Describe your kitchen plates

Just plain white, fairly standard.

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment.

Clean???

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

Oooh, I like a Bacardi and coke or a gin and lemonade (which according to my gin and tonic loving mother is a sacreligous thing to do to gin). I don’t drink a whole lot, but those are my two go tos.

45. Do you play cards?

I can play cards, but I don’t do it on the regular.

46. What color is your car?

Don’t have a car!

47. Can you change a tire?

Nope!

48. Your favorite state or province?

Don’t really have that here, so I’m gonna be a bit cheeky and say Perthshire 😉. It really is beautiful though!!

49. Favorite job you’ve had?

My current job! It’s just a clothes shop retail job, but the company is so good (which is rare for a big company), the people are so lovely, the hours can suck sometimes, but I enjoy it so much more than waitressing and bar work!

Thanks again so much for the tag! I think just about everyone has been tagged in this, so if you haven’t done this yet, consider yourself tagged now!!

[jeswii]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Imperial Agent | Cipher Nine, Lana Beniko, Koth Vortena, Theron Shan Additional Tags: Not Beta Read, Don't ask me how the time line works. I have no idea, I also do not have a plan for this, barely proof read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary:

Outside of her team, no one had ever seen Cipher Nine’s face. No one but them had ever heard their normal voice. And there was a reason for that. The Endless Swamp reveals why.

Her body was freezing. Her heart was pounding in her chest. But Nine stayed professional. Nine showed no signs. Keep in in, she told herself, never let someone else see. Never let your guard down.

If Nine was hurt, Lana wasn’t sure of it. She had her suspicions though. It’s not like he would ever tell her, ever show a moment of weakness. The first time she had seen him even close to surprised was when Lana told him he had been sleeping for five years. Even that was a only slight gasp.

Now Lana didn’t know a thing about Cipher Nine, even as the former Minister of Sith Intelligence. There was no record of a Cipher Nine anywhere, everything on him was word of mouth. But one thing was certain all those years ago, when Arkous recruited him, Nine was good at what he did. Effective. Able to cause great change while hiding in the shadows. That was all that was needed.

Who was under that mask was never of any concern to Lana before. But things had changed.

They needed Nine and they needed him to lead.

She explained this to him at the fresh water spring and it took him back. The idea that he'd have to publicly be in front of people. Which meant people needed to be able to see his face. He seemed against the idea but he didn't outright turn down the position. That was progress in Lana's book.

Coming back to the ship, Lana lost the Cipher for a while. She wasn’t going to complain if he needed space. Or privacy. To this day, after working with Nine for over a year when it came to stopping the Order of Revan and then the Emperor, she has still never seen what he looked like. She’s still never heard what his real voice sounded like without the electronic modifier.

That was until a small mistakes was made.

Something was wrong, Nine told herself. Her limbs were cramping, her body was freezing to the bone. All she felt was cold.

No.

Not just cold.

Rage.

Five years.

Five fucking years.

What the fuck was she supposed to do about that?

Nine always knew there were things about her life she couldn’t control. There was very little she could. It came with the line of work. But Nine thought she could do some good. She thought she could stop the Emperor and do something right for once in her goddamn life.

But no. Frozen. For five fucking years on the wall of some dude who felt like she’d make a good ornament.

It was messed up. But what was she supposed to do now? Lana wants her to stop Arcann but she’s lost just about everything. The game changes so fast that five years gone means she out of the loop now. Assassination was a possible outcome but now while she’s stuck in this swamp. Lana's plan seemed to be build an army for Nine to lead. Not a great plan but best they've got. She needed to get back at him.

When you get hit, hit back harder. That's what Kaliyo always told her. It was a strange day when she missed Kaliyo. That woman was nothing but trouble but she taught her a thing or two about street fighting.

Her stomach growled. At least this was one thing she could deal with right now. In frustration Nine took her mask off, throwing it at the wall.

She took a ration from her pocket that Lana had given her and began to slowly eat it.

There was nothing else to do. Her body aches. Ice flowed through her veins. There was nothing she could do besides eat something right now.

In the reflection of herself on the mask she threw, she saw her face was paler than it should have been. Her lips were purple. Her eyes were bloodshot. There were bruises and scrapes all across her face as well as old scars.

Nine pulled her gloves off as she ate and saw blood. She wasn’t exactly sure from where she was bleeding since most of her clothes were damp. What was blood and what was water she didn’t know and right now she didn’t really care about it.

She just didn’t care.

There was nothing for her. The pain was dull, and kept her awake. It let her feel something but cold and rage.

Distracted. That’s what Nine was. She should have heard the foot steps. She should have heard Lana approaching. But she didn’t.

It was such a simple mistake. One more thing to have gone wrong on this list of a terrible day.

Lana considered walking away when she rounded the corner without another word said about it. But it was too late. She had seen Nine. She had seen her face. And truth be told she had questions.

There were rumors of what Cipher Nine looked under the mask. The profile she had gathered was he was a human man between twenty five and thirty five, likely from either a high ranking Sith family, high ranking military family, or an Imperial Intelligence experiment.

None of those rumors matched who was right in front of her besides being human.

Nine grabbed her pistol and pointed it at Lana “Now. Are we going to have a problem my Lord?”

Her eyes grew wide. She doubted Nine really posed a threat with how frail and injured she looked, her hand was shaking holding the blaster up, tears seemed to have cut through blood and grime on her face. But that wasn’t what threw Lana. Nine being a woman also didn’t bother her. It was how young she was.

“I must say I’m surprised”

The young woman’s jaw set. No. Not woman probably. Girl from the looks of it when Lana said that. Her blaster didn’t lower. “You can say a lot but you say a word of this to anyone and I will pull this trigger.”

Even without the voice modulator that made her sound years older and a man, Nine’s threats still landed to feel real and worth taking seriously. Lana’s never seen her face before, but she’s seen her lie, cheat, torture and kill rather proficiently. “I can’t say-”

Nine fired. The bolt landed at her feet. “Let’s not go with can’t say. Shouldn’t say. Whatever half assed answer you were going to give. You going to keep this between us? Yes or no?”

There was the truth and the answer Nine wanted. “No.”

Another shot, skimming right past Lana. Barely missing her. If Nine wanted to shoot her she would have. “Want to rethink that answer?”

“No.” She said one last time firmly

She threw the gun to the side with a sigh “Fuck off.”

Lana didn’t. She sat down across from Nine, her back against the wall. “So the man the Empire and Republic both feared for years is a teenage girl?” Lana chuckled to her self “The man I was hoping would save the galaxy from a tyrant is a teenage girl.”

And there it was. “I’m eighteen. And I’m good at what I do. No one needs to be any the wiser.”

There was something here Nine wasn’t grasping “I need Cipher Nine to lead an army, to instill confidence in an Alliance that we have a chance. To take Arcann’s place on the throne as to not let it fall into the wrong hands. I needed to unmask you, but I needed a leader under that mask.”

In Lana’s rant she made little change of expression. “Then you’ll have your leader.” She stated “I am Cipher Nine. My gender or age doesn’t change that.”

“You want an Alliance to believe we have a chance when I bring a child and say this is who will lead them?”

She smiled “No. An Alliance will believe we have a chance when I prove to them I can lead them. Convincing desperate people to follow you isn’t difficult.”

Never before had Lana ever doubted the agent before. Before now.

[santalsaburablog]

Adventures of Santal. Chapter 4: New Planet

There is boundless hope in the only chance.

     It's finished! By a lucky coincidence, Santal manages to escape from captivity and avoid an unenviable fate! Now, traveling like a hare in a box on a Rodian ship, she is filled with the hope of returning home. Meanwhile, on Coruscant in the Jedi Temple, life goes on as usual ...

     The massive building of the Temple towered over a kilometer above the rest of Galactic City, built on an ancient source of power located inside the mountain. There was a free space around, the Street of Processions, from which the best view of the Temple opened. From the outside, the building looked like a tall, stepped ziggurat with five spiers at the top, symbolizing the Jedi's pursuit of enlightenment.

     The central and highest spire, surrounded by four smaller ones, is also known as the Temple Spire. It is considered the main one: it contains the ancient texts of the Jedi founders, and in this sacred place the Jedi indulge in meditation.

     In the first of four smaller spiers, the twelve members of the Jedi High Council sit on various affairs of the Republic. The High Council plays a vital role in that it has the power to decide the fate of the entire Jedi Order and thus to a certain extent influence the Galactic Republic as well.

     It was there that Grand Master of the Jedi Order Yoda went early in the morning. He walked slowly, leaning on a cane.

     “Good morning, Master Unduli.

     “Good morning, Master Yoda.

     Both masters bowed respectfully to each other. And then each went his own way.

     When Yoda entered, everyone was already there. Seeing the green head, everyone immediately stood up. The twelve councilors bowed their heads. Someone clasped his hands behind his back, someone folded them in front of him. Someone simply lowered freely on the sides. Together they began:

- May the Force be with us all. And may the peace of our Temple be with us. An abode open for thought and conversation. The sphere of mutual respect and the dominance of a noble goal. Let each take his place as an equal among equals. May our work be done in trust, Free from the shackles of conceit and envy At this and subsequent meetings.

     They all sat down. You could start.

                                                             ***

- What is it? - Elina Sabura lamented. Nobi almost ran next to her, afraid to leave behind his bustling wife.

     In the morning, the poor summer girl could not find a place for herself. Her named niece is missing! Elina sensed something was wrong in the morning. On ordinary days Santal got up before everyone else, walked a little in her room. And then she went to them and woke them up if, in her opinion, they fell asleep. And today she and her husband woke up in a calm atmosphere. Nobody touched.

     The aunt went into her niece's room and froze on the threshold. The bed is not made. Not a trace of the girl. Letanka was about to faint. What a fool she is! I didn’t look! But Elina even at night through her sleep heard some shuffling, but did not attach any importance to it. And my husband muttered, they say, don't worry, it's just the wind. But she calmed down and did not check! Fool tailhead! Lecca would have been cut off for her stupidity!

     - Calm down, Elina. It is not your fault. - Nobi, distinguished by his dark green skin, put his hand on his wife's shoulder. “I’m ...

     - Do not say anything! You didn’t make a promise to your pregnant girlfriend that you would take care of her baby if something happened. So most of the responsibility lies with me! O Strength, what to do? What to do?!

     - Maybe the police? Or call the Jedi? Nobi suggested.

     - No! - Elina barked. The husband staggered back. - You can't call the Jedi! They are already busy all the time. And generally speaking. If they find Santal, they won't give them back! She's got ... - Letanka stopped short.

     Despite this, her husband added two and two without difficulty.

     "So is she ... a Jedi?" - The man was surprised to learn something new about the girl he raised for three years.

     - Yes. More precisely, she can become one. All the essentials - sensitivity to Strength and character traits - she has. - Elina decided that there was no need to deny it. If the husband already understood everything. - But I will not allow this.

     - Why? Why are you doing this? - In fact, Nobi had a lot of questions, but nevertheless he decided to ask such in order to find out everything he wanted.

     “You see, when I was younger, two Jedi saved me from a terrible fate. These were her parents. If not for them, I would have been a slave to the Hutts to this day. Low bow to them for that! We became friends. And two months before the death of Adir, that was the name of Santal's mother, she said that she was expecting a child. And then, on my own initiative, I decided to become her nanny. Although they wanted to raise the baby themselves. But I still gave my word that if something happened, I would take care of her or him. How she looked into the water! - Letanka sobbed.

     - Well, if you are so good to the Jedi, then why the "little ones"? - Nobi still did not fully understand. “And you didn't tell me that you were a slave!

     Twi'lek was shocked: how bad it was! And his wife was silent, keeping everything to herself! Well, how can you ?!

     “I'm ashamed of what happened. I still remember how difficult it was for me to come to my senses at first. I felt dirty and humiliated. You have no idea what I endured there!

     - So tell me! I will listen to you! Don't think that I will love you less! Nobi exclaimed hotly.

     Elina was dumbfounded. Never before had her husband been so determined. And she made up her mind. She told how she had to dance in a meager outfit, live in mud, eat scraps. But that's not the worst part. She was once beaten for disobedience. On the very first day of slavery, the Hutt wrapped its tail around it and held it for some time. Sometimes, he hugged and licked. Or he could just try to stick his tongue in his mouth or in his ass. It took a long time. Elina felt like a whole year. It was owned by two Hutts. The first one lost at cards. Bastian killed the second one.

     After that, she became very suspicious. She began to lead a sedentary lifestyle. After the miraculous return, she vowed never to leave her home planet again. Never! Enough! Seen enough of the world! This is what she wanted to teach Santal: to be a homebody, to hate and be afraid of the Hutts. That's why I told her several times before going to bed almost every night that there were giant slugs on Tatooine that would eat her. And Santal believed, although she still ran away during the day to observe nature. A bully, but such a nice baby! Letanka always wanted to lightly pat the girl on the cheek.

     Elina thought about it. Oh, how she would like to kill at least one slug! Well, okay. Bastian fulfilled the dream for her. We must be content with what we have.

     Most of all, she was afraid not so much of Santal falling into slavery to the Hutts, as of the fact that someone would catch her, take her away to no one knows where, beat her, and she and Nobi would never see their niece again! Such thoughts made me want to cry.

     - Look. - Nobi made to pay attention to himself. - No shoes. Maybe she ran away?

     - What for? What have we done to her? - Elina threw up her hands.

     - Nothing. But you know how curious she is. I saw something and went to look. And I was lost.

     “If you're right, then she’s here somewhere. 

But on the other hand, she would find her way home. Santal is not stupid. She must have been stolen after all. Lured and stolen! Poor thing! It can be anywhere: in a slave market, in slavery, in space ... Suddenly, somewhere on the street, freezes and cries? - Letanka grabbed her head, sat up and howled.

     Nobi walked over and gave his wife a weak slap in the face, wanting to revive her.

     - Calm down! I think I came up with it. Actually, I don't understand why you don't want Santal to become a Jedi. Not everyone can be one. This is one of the noblest professions. These wonderful creatures help people disinterestedly. Keep peace in the galaxy ...

     - I know without you! - Elina interrupted him. - Yes, they are wonderful. Should I not know. But it seems to me that everyone, except for Adira and her husband Bastian, is a little bit. Jedi steal children! The parents probably disagree, and they take it away. To join your ranks.

     - Yes, where did you get it?

     - My grandmother told me so. Until she died when I was five. Only mother and father remained. Glory to the Force, while they are healthy.

     - And here I am an orphan almost from birth. From early childhood by itself, - said sad Nobi. - How did yours bless us? I am still surprised.

     “You made a good impression on them. They saw before them a simple but noble Twi'lek with a kind heart and a pure soul.

     Nobi blushed, but almost immediately turned serious.

     - So how will we look for Santal?

     - We ourselves will walk down the street. And at the same time we will write an ad that a three-year-old human girl has disappeared. Name is Santal Sabura. Let's describe the appearance in detail. Let them search for her throughout the galaxy.

     - Well done, dear. - In Elina's soul, hope flared up with a bright flame.

     - Thanks. Just a question. Will we write about the reward?

     - I do not know. I personally think no reward is needed. Let them return for free. Santal is not a thing, she is the daughter of the great Jedi. It means that it is priceless.

     - I agree. Let's start. Where is her picture?

     - In a drawer.

                                                           ***

     Santal woke up from hitting her head on the wall of the box. It felt like she realized that they had arrived. Without waiting for anyone, the girl wanted to get out of the box. But - what an attack! - did not work. Santal was frightened. She began to feel like she was suffocating.

     However, the Force was kind to the baby. Firstly, there were fruits in the box, and they were quite tasty. So the girl who woke up ate ate, although she got her nightie dirty, because she crushed two pieces. Secondly, not so little time has passed since the lid was opened. Realizing that she had a great chance, Santal got out with a little difficulty and jumped to the floor. And then, quietly stealthily, she walked to the exit, while no one sees.

     - Hey! Who are you? What are you ... - Still, one of the two noticed her. Namely, the one with blue pigmentation.

     For Santal, this call was like a signal. The baby started at full speed. Stopped only two blocks later. When I first turned around, I realized that they were not running after her.

     In an amicable way, one could ask to take him home. But Santal was already a scientist. She couldn't get caught a second time! In the end, there are two of them. And she herself barely fought off even one uncle. What can we say about two! Suddenly, they also want to give somewhere. No! What did he say? Pv ... pl ... no. How do they growl? Rrr ... prrr-give birth! Right! Pro-give!

     Santal almost jumped for joy. She learned a new word! Hooray! Then, deciding not to stay in one place, having a snack with fruits from that box and leaving three in reserve, she went wherever she looked. Wander around the city.

     That uncle showed her how prudent he is. She may have run away from him, but all the same. He tried with all his might to keep her. And his: "I had to make sure that nobody was following me." And she, Santal, is it worse? It means that it is also necessary to do so. Try to predict who will do what. It seemed to her an exciting game.

     The girl all the time looked around and watched the world around her. How interesting it turns out to be! But dangerous too, she remembered to remind herself. So my aunt was right and wrong at the same time.

     In general, Santal Sabura took a lot of steps during the day. I went to many places. I saw a lot of things. By the evening I was completely exhausted. And this despite the fact that she sat down and rested more than once. And all the same, the legs were erased. All in red pieces! The girl even took off her shoes and saw a bubble on each foot. Santal put on her shoes again and went. Oh, how hard it was! And it hurts to come.

     At this point, the girl despaired. She is on an unfamiliar planet, all alone. And she rubbed her legs. And it was already getting dark. And if someone sticks to her? Here her aunt told her that during the day it is dangerous for young children to walk without adults. And even worse at night. All sorts of monsters wake up. Remembering this, Sabura was seriously scared. Now and then look, he will cry again.

     But here I wanted to turn my head to the left for some reason. And there, very close, there was a blue stripe. This conclusion was drawn by the eyes. The strip was so attractive that the girl decided that it was her parents who were giving her a sign: she had to go there. And she went. Slowly, but went.

     I got there in about an hour. During this time, the girl kept looking around her, shuddering, reacting to the slightest rustle. I was afraid to meet a monster or that uncle.

     Santal stopped and ... was stunned. She had never seen such beauty before. So it was not in vain that I suffered. After all, there was a lot of water in front of her! So much so that the opposite bank was not visible. The water formed a white line as it approached. And sounds are a delight to the ears.

     Santal was so happy that she took off her shoes and started jumping on the soft and light earth. The girl really enjoyed running and jumping - it seemed to her that the pain had subsided. And then she climbed into the water, but, however, immediately got out - it's cold, and the nightie got wet. I had to take it off and put it next to the shoes. The girl entered slowly, ankle-deep, then knee-deep and finally waist-deep. She began to walk, jump and wave her arms, causing the spray to fly in different directions. And when she got tired, she went out, sat on the ground to dry. And so for the whole night more than five times. Santal could no longer count.

     It is worth noting that the girl was thirsty all the time away from home, and upon arrival on the new planet she was generally burning. Therefore, after seeing so much water, she could not resist and filled her mouth. And after a couple of moments she spat it out. Salty water turned out! But at least she rinsed her mouth.

     And also at the very edge of the water Santal found a very beautiful and unusual thing. The girl decided to take it as a keepsake. Then she ate the last fruit, because I couldn't stand it anymore.

     From malnutrition over time, she began to feel sick at times. Santal even began to think that he would die. However, in this situation, there was one plus: she will be able to meet with her parents. If they are there. But she didn't know if it was so or not. And since she didn’t know, then she had to fight for life.

At dawn, Santal noticed three things. First, at this moment the landscape became even more beautiful. The earth turned out to be not only soft, but also white. And the water is pale blue. The place looked like Tatooine. But there are two suns that burned mercilessly. And here is one thing, and it is very pleasant to expose a naked body under it. You will immediately get warm.

     Santal decided to play enough one last time and go in search of food. But at the same time she firmly decided that someday she would return here. The main thing is not to forget.

     The girl walked calmly through the streets. Having stolen five fruits, I went on for a walk. No, this planet is much better. There are trees, grass. Yes, Santal knew the meaning of the word “nature” and everything connected with it: “landscape”, “tree”, “leaves”, “mountains”, “plains”, “hills”. Only she hadn't seen it before. My aunt once mentioned that the terrain is different on all planets. Somewhere there is snow all the time, somewhere solid forests. And on her home planet there are mountains, a desert, even an ice cap somewhere, but she never saw it.

     After walking in a picturesque place - which was called a park, but the girl found out about it later - Sabura sat down next to a tree to rest and eat. Then she did not notice how she dozed off. I woke up only when someone began to poke something hard at her. The girl roused herself to answer, but the stranger began first:

     - Hello, child.

     Santal looked around until she found the owner of the voice.

[spell-cleaver]

“Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make?” CONTINUATION OF THE OTHER ONE >:)

Continuation of this one, for those who haven’t read it. You don’t have to have read that one to understand this one but if you read this one then read the other one it ruins it a bit.

Most of this is under the cut because it got... longer than any “drabble” has any right to be :)

Luke had been in Beggar's Canyon for hours.Flying... took the edge off things, let him get his breath back and just react instead of dwelling on thishorrible, sinking feeling he'd had since waking up.

He'd told Aunt Beru he was going flying thatmorning, even before the first rays of dawn had graced the sky. She'd looked athim a little oddly.

"Sandstorm?" she'd asked.

He knew what she was asking and shook hishead.

"Yes," he said. "No. I don'tknow." And then he'd kissed his aunt goodbye on the cheek, told her heloved her, and asked her to pass the message on to his uncle too.

She'd frowned, but promised.

Now he'd been here for entirely too long, butevery time he stepped out of his Skyhopper the sand hissed.

Soon, it said—or maybe that wasn't the sand, butsomething entirely different. Soon.

Despite the heat, he shivered.

The suns were getting high now. His unclewould really need him—would probably already be furious.

Luke sighed and headed home.

.

Tatooine was exactly as her father haddescribed it to her: a worthless scrap heap as far from the galaxy's light ascould be.

He used stronger language, of course—when heactually deigned to let it occupy his thoughts—but she wasn't here to dwell onher father's opinion. She was rapidly forming her own.

It was no more favourable.

Solo dumped her in Mos Eisley. She almostsnapped at him to keep going; this wasn't her destination. The bright,brilliant presence of her brother was nowherenear here.

But Solo glared at her, kept making shooingmotions with his hands, and she absolutely despised his piece-of-junk ship.

So she paid him, inwardly smirking at whather father would think when he saw the credits disappearing from her account.She should be back on Coruscant by now, several days after Yoda's death hadrocked the Force; while he'd know she wasn't dead or injured, he'd either beout of his mind with worry or out of his mind with anger.

He'd get over it the moment she returned.

This boyshe was collecting... this Luke Skywalker,her brother...

Oh, yes. Her father would be furious when shereturned, but not at her.

She'd considered contacting him en route toexplain, but... it might be nothing. That had been her fear. She wanted to besure before springing that on him.

She had a brother.

She had a brother.

She wanted the credit for this.

Leia didn't bother watching Solo's junk heaplift off behind her. She was standing stock still outside the spaceport,breathing in, breathing out.

A haze cloaked Tatooine in the Force—amirage. It wasn't dark or light, it just... was.

But the presence she felt—had felt since shearrived? That was light. It dustedthe dunes like a second coating of sand; when she hired a speeder and headedout for its nexus, it only intensified.

She revelled in it.

It felt like her father's presence on thatfateful day he'd shown up to liberate her from the Organas. Light where his hadbeen dark, true—they'd have to fix that—but it embraced her in the same way,like a part of her that had been missing for years.

Twins. It had to be. They were twins, and the Organas and Yoda had ripped them apart. Doomed themto grow up far from their father and true power. So effectively that even whenhe'd found and returned her to thelight—metaphorically speaking—her brother, Luke,had been left to languish in obscurity, poverty, ignorance, when he should have been the Prince of the Empire...

Well. Her mother had been a queen, herkidnapper had been a queen, her father was an emperor. She was a princess; her brother was a prince. Regardless ofchildhood.

She gritted her teeth, bared them in a grin,and shot towards the nearest town she could see.

The map called it ANCHORHEAD.

.

His horrible, horrible feeling had onlyincreased the closer he got to the homestead.

Something cold tracked him all the way. Itreached out to latch onto his mind, like a limpet or leech that... didn'tdrain. It felt like it should be there, actually.

Like half the reason he wanted to get offTatooine so badly was because he wanted to find it again...

But that feeling only enhanced the crystalline sensation he experienced every time heflew, that clarity. And it meant it enhanced that intense dread even more.

Finally, the homestead loomed.

Something was wrong.

He knew it was; he near-crashed his Skyhopperin his attempt to stop it. He staggered out and jogged for the entrance, AuntBeru's name touching down on his lips—

And then he froze.

There was someone in the doorway. Someone whowas certainly not his aunt oruncle—an offworlder judging by their appalling idea to wear all-black under themidday suns. Reasonably young, about his age; female human; rigid posture.

Maybe she was a lost offworlder his aunt washosting—it wouldn't be the first time—but if so, why this terribly, cloyingfeeling...?

As he got closer, he saw the girl in moredetail. The burst of familiarity he felt at seeing her face confused him evenmore.

As did her grin. Her gaze, almost unnervinglyintense as she stared him from top to toe. There was joy, exhilaration and...disapproval there?

"Who are you?" he asked. Notunkindly—just warily.

She smiled wider at that, fingering a strangehilt at her waist.

"I'm Princess Leia Vader," she saidsmoothly. Her grin was sharp.

He made to take a step back—from shock, fromsudden fear, he didn't know—but found himself frozen in place, the muscles inhis legs locked up.

"Of the Empire!?" Even he, trapped all the way out her, had heardabout the death of Palpatine and ascension of Vader—and his daughter.

She snorted. "What else matters?"

Well. Thatmade things so much clearer.

What in the blazes was Leia Vader doing all the way out here?

Once again, he tried to step back. Onceagain, he couldn't.

She narrowed her eyes at the attempt."But yes. I am the Imperial Princess. And you," her lips tugged into a much more genuine smile,"are Luke Skywalker."

"Yes...?"

She blinked, apparently irritated he wouldn'tread her mind—as if he could—andshook her head.

"You can," she said coolly,"and I will teach you how."

Wait. "What—"

"It might interest you to know that myfather, Darth Vader, was born with the name Anakin Skywalker to a slave womannamed Shmi Skywalker, whose grave I believe lies at the back of thishomestead."

Luke stared.

What.

What.

"WHAT?"

"And also," she continued,"that I was born to him and his wife nineteen years ago, on EmpireDay."

Luke was fairly sure he'd stopped breathing.

"I believe that may be your birthday aswell?"

Luke shook his head. Not in denial—and heknew she knew that, somehow—but... confusion.

"So— so—"

My father is your father," she informedhim. "I am your sister...  and you are a prince."

He recoiled.

She frowned—why would he recoil at that? he could almost hear herwondering—but she continued, "I am your sister."

"I got that!" he snapped, then fearflooded him when he realised who he'djust snapped at.

"I am not going to hurt you," shesaid, taking a step forward. That force holding him in place vanished, but hedidn't try to run. An equally powerful desire—the orphan's longing for afamily, perhaps—kept him rooted in place. Drew him a few steps closer, in fact.

The princess—Leia—his sister—held out her hand.

"Come with me, Luke," she intoned."Come meet our father. We never knew you existed—he'll be beyond delightedto meet you."

Luke just stared. Something wonderful,something terrible, bloomed in his chest.

"Leave this pathetic life and these patheticpeople behind. You are a prince. Comewith me to take your rightful place in the galaxy. You can have all you've everwanted."

And it was true. He could hear it in hervoice. It was intoxicating, alluring... but mainly because all he'd ever wanted was a family.

And now, according to her, he had one.

But...

Thesepathetic people.

He had a funny feeling he knew exactly who they were.

"Where are my aunt and uncle?"

She stopped in the middle of her tirade."What?"

"My aunt and uncle. My family. Where arethey?"

"They are not your aunt and uncle, much less family—"

He asked, voice quiet in his certainty,"Did you kill them?"

She ground her teeth. "The Jedi sealedtheir fates the moment they stole you from our mother's arms and dumped you onthem."

"That's a yes, then." Tears stunghis eyes.

"Oh, don't waste water overkidnappers," she barked.

"They were my family!"

Rage boiled in her: he could see it in herface, feel it. But she kept herself calm.

"I thought like that about my kidnappersonce," she murmured. "Don't worry, brother. The pain vanishes onceyou accept the truth." Her hand was still out; she made an impatientgesture with it. "Now come on."

He backed off. "No. I'm not going withyou."

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you surethat's the decision you want to make?"

"Yes." He lifted his chin andlooked her in the eye.

She growled, "It's the wrong one."

She strode forward. Luke's eyes blew wide andhe backed away further—quickly.

"So if you won't come willingly—"

She broke into a run. Luke ran in response,but it was like running through oil. He couldn't breathe—

"—then you'll come by force."

That same force that slowed his steps threwhim to the ground. He hit it hard; spluttered fiercely as sand flooded hismouth.

He watched black boots enter his line ofvision, stark against the dust horizon, and a soft hand pressed his forehead.

"Sleep,"his sister said, voice reverberating in a way that was just as familiar as itwas alien, layered and layered with unspoken command, and Luke Skywalker slept.

.

Ten minutes later, Ben Kenobi finally cameupon the homestead and two corpses far, far too late to do anything.

One hour later, the Imperial Princesscommandeered a shuttle from the measly little outpost the Empire had on theplanet and jumped to hyperspace.

Three days later, Luke Skywalker, farm boy,was facing down Emperor Darth Vader himself.

And one year later, the galaxy was introducedto Prince Luke Vader, whose resemblance to his sister and father was...uncanny.

Especially when his eyes flashed gold.

Send me a prompt and I’ll write you a drabble ficlet almost a whole oneshot, apparently.