#and i know I'm nose blind to it so it's probably even worse than it seems to me

[healingheartdogs]

They need to invent a way to make my bed not smell so much like dog that doesn't require me to wash my sheets and blankets every other day or stop letting my dog in my bed to cuddle

Likewise for dog hair on my bed and clothes

[seresinhangmanjake]

Hi there! I'm crazy about your stories about Feyd!! Truly brillant!! I've sren your accettino requests...wanted to know if you could a Feyd x reader where they are married and she let him keep the harpies. One day, while Feyd is in a council, reader gets attacked or someone tries to have his way with her and she's saved by the harpies, who kills the man and than take her to their room to care for her, and when Feyd arrives he reward them or something....you choose the endind.

Thankss

Protecting His

Feyd-Rautha x reader

Warnings/Notes: I made it a little bit different, so I hope that's ok. Mention of attempted assault, but it is not detailed. Goes with my His series, but you don't have to read it before reading this. I know this could've been smutty, but idk, the inspiration just didn't take it that route.

Words: 1360

Feyd-Rautha Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag list

“I apologize, my Lady,” the harpy says as she dabs alcohol along the fresh slash on your forehead. “It’ll only be a minute more.”

Your chuckle is a weak breath of air. “You saved me. The last thing you need to do is apologize,” you tell her. 

She briefly pauses her work before continuing. “Our Lord na-Baron will not understand,” she says. 

She’s probably right. Red will be blinding his vision. It’s enough that a guest in your home—an invited guest, a welcomed guest—tried to take advantage of you in a moment when you showed him kindness, but a plethora of additional factors will only heighten your husband’s fury: the fact that you allowed yourself to be alone with another man, even though that was against your intention; the fact that that man touched you and tried to do more; the fact that you’re bleeding because of it; and the fact that Feyd wasn’t the one to protect you, and in his place, one of the harpies was forced to step in. As if they weren’t in enough trouble already. 

He’s been deciding what to do with them for days now, trying to figure out if they have enough use elsewhere to be worth keeping alive, but he’s been coming up short, and you know their fates at the hands of your husband are unlikely to be forgiving. 

They’d been so good for so long, so well-trained after they tried to take a bite out of you—literally—as you slept by Feyd’s side almost a year ago to the day. That act of disobedience cost them each a finger, but from learning their lesson, they eventually became trustworthy enough for Feyd to assign them as your handmaids. And they maintained the position until the unfortunate incident of one of them losing control. 

She tried to take a nibble out of your flesh, and worse, in a moment when you were holding your newborn son. When Feyd learned of this, he lost his mind. Though the harpy acted alone, Feyd banished the three to the other side of the fortress and took the hand of the harpy who tried to have you for her next meal—this harpy. 

You stare at the stump, a bandage replacing where pale, delicate fingers used to be. She’s lost enough. It’s not right that she suffer a lash to the neck simply for being within range of you. It’s not right that Feyd’s rage will have him do the same to the other two. 

“I’ll make him understand,” you promise her as she covers the cut with a strip of tape, and as if on cue, your husband practically blows the door down with the force of a hurricane. 

His eyes land on you and soften with worry at your injured state. They reharden as they find the harpy at your side. “What did she do!” he snaps. 

You quickly rise to your feet, ignoring the dizziness that slightly blurs your vision, and place yourself between him and the harpy. “She saved me.”

He rushes toward her, but with your hands pressing into his chest, you keep him at bay. “She tried to harm you not a week ago!”

“And now she saved me.”

Feyd sucks in a breath through his nose, his shoulders rising and falling, his chest puffing and deflating. His eyes fall to your face. His brow knits as his hands cup your cheeks. He presses a long kiss to your lips, then says, “Are you ok?”

“Yes,” you say. “He would’ve done more if she hadn’t been there.”

“I gave explicit orders—”

“I know,” you intercept. “But would you rather a dead wife?”

It’s a blow. Not a wise one, considering he almost lost you during the birth of your son, but it’s reality. You could’ve died tonight. The man that wanted to hurt you wouldn’t have kept you alive to name him after the fact, whether you’re the na-Baron’s wife or not. He’s much too high-ranking, and without your voice there to reveal his lies, he could’ve pinned the crime on anyone.

Feyd’s hands drop from your face, and during your husband's brief placation, you glance over your shoulder at the harpy. “It’s best you go back to your cell now. A guard will escort you.”

She bows her head. “Yes, my Lady,” she says before she treads lightly around you and your husband to the door. 

Only once she’s gone and Feyd has settled into his seat at the foot of the bed do you say, “Don’t kill her.”

His head snaps up. “You will not tell me what to do.”

“I’m asking.”

“Why?”

You snort. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Feyd crosses his arms over his chest. “Are you teasing me at a time like this? Your life–” His eyelids pinch and he shakes his head. “You could’ve–”

With a sigh, you move to sit beside him on the mattress. “I’m fine,” you tell him. “But you cannot punish her for saving your wife. It’s not right.”

He pauses in his contemplation before he says, “What was she even doing on this side of the fortress?”

“She said she wanted to apologize to me and that you wouldn’t permit it, so she snuck over,” you answer. “You could’ve at least let her do that much.”

“I couldn’t risk it,” he lightly snaps. “I couldn’t risk you and the baby.”

When your hand lands on his forearm, he takes your fingers between his. “And they don’t have to be around us ever again if that’s what you want, but please reconsider hurting them further. They were always kind to me and–”

“Except when they tried to steal you from me to eat,” he reminds you.

“Yes, well, they were more kind than uncontrollably hungry.”

Feyd stares at you long and hard. His thumb rubs back and forth over yours. “You’re serious.”

You give a single decisive nod. “I am.”

—

When Feyd unlocks the cell door and steps inside, two of the harpies skitter across the floor to Feyd’s feet. They paw at the ankles of his pants. One’s head nuzzles the toe of his boot. He pays them little attention, his eyes on the hunt for the one tucked in the corner against the stone wall. She shies away from the blazing ray of his glare. 

“My Lord, we are very sorry for what our sister did,” the first harpy says—the eldest, the tallest of the three. It is most fascinating to see her so low. She tightens her fingers into the pants fabric, but Feyd kicks her off, and her entire body jolts back like a creature freshly injured.

“So very sorry,” the second, who has backed away alongside her sister, mimics.

“Please spare–”

“Hush, I’m not in the mood,” Feyd scolds. 

“Y-You will kill us?”

Feyd finally tears his stare from the huddled harpy to the ones by his feet. “You can pray to the kindness of my wife that I will not be,” he says. “You,” he juts his head back to the other. “You get a reward that I expect you to share with your sisters.”

Her head lifts from where it was resting atop her knees. Her dark eyes widen a touch. 

“A reward?” one of the others says.

“For us?”

Feyd gives a curt nod to the guard behind him, and a moment later, the man who attempted to take you against your will is tossed into the room. Already battered and bruised, he remains face down on the cobblestone flooring. A groan escapes through his lips, but that and the slightly pinkish hue of his skin from whatever blood remains in his veins is all there is as proof of life. 

“A meal,” Feyd says. “Enjoy it while it lasts.”

The three glance at the body and then back up at Feyd. He doesn’t say another word as he turns on his heel and signals his guard to relock the cage. He doesn’t look back as the screams begin to echo through the dank halls. He has better things to do, like tending to his wife. It’s been a long day, after all, and she could use the comfort.

[reverieblondie]

What if Gale fell on top of Tav after he got pulled out of the portal? How would he react to realizing he just accidentally got a face full of his savior's- *gets jumped by the horny police*

No! Not the horny police! So I went a bit fluffy for this prompt but I loved this ask for just a cute little something for Gale. Hope you like it! If you want something Smutty for Gale in the future just ask, I'm all ears....

Portal Mishaps

Gale x Fem!Tav

Words- 1,014

First, trapped on the nautiloid, receiving a new tenant in the old cranium was not exactly what Gale had in mind. Then, when the wretched ship started bursting into fire, he thought his luck was finally changing; Gale was finally going to receive a win after what felt like nothing but losses. Then he ended up…in a rock…

All his previous decisions had led to this, and honestly, it was humiliating… He's an archmage of Waterdeep, well versed in the weave, Mystras chosen! Well, Once chosen. Now, here he is in the cold abyss in between tunnels. Could things get worse?  Maybe he shouldn't think that… The fates seem determined to have everything go wrong for him now, so it is best not to make it worse. Maybe it's for the best, a strange divine intervention. Gale knows his time is short, especially since he cannot clench his hunger. So perhaps he can save a lot of people the trouble and erupt within a rock.

So Gale puts his hands to the side and stays in the cold dark, letting it surround him. Letting the thoughts in his mind drift away. Just accepting this…but as he sits, something in him sparks. Gale is not one to take this fate lying down. No, it's not in his nature not to try; even till his last breath, he will fight. So, using what's remaining of his drained magic, he opens a wobbly portal. It's not the prettiest and relatively narrow, but he tries to free himself, pushing his arm through the tingling sparks of magic. He reaches out, trying to grab onto anything to pull him out of these dark depths, but nothing.

Gale continues to search; he just needs something or someone to help pull him free. Then, echoing through the dark, he hears a voice resonating through the portal. This is his chance to get its attention. Quickly, he reaches his hand out, desperately grabbing through the air. 

"A hand? Anyone?!"

Muttering, then that same sweet voice ringing through…

"Just hang on! I will get you out!" 

Soft hands warm him as they grab onto him and start to pull. Whoever his savior is, he vows to thank them endlessly as they never quit trying to pull him out. Their soft voice continues to encourage him that they will not give up and will save him. It's so full of promise and conviction that he feels like he could cry. Please just let him get through this, let him see his savor, let him thank them! Let him live!

With another powerful pull, Gale's body rushes forward; bright light blinds him as he tumbles out. The light is piercing, but he's never been so happy to see the white light; the smell of smoke and nature hits his nose in an overwhelming welcome. Gale has never liked the smell of smoke, but today, it is a welcomed scent he will probably now have a greater appreciation for. Gale falls onto very soft ground, like really soft ground? And it's taking everything in him not to rub his face in it and kiss the dirt benthe him. As Gale goes to inhale the sweet scent of the ground, he pauses,…perfume? And musk?  

Gale's eyes start to refocus, and that's when he sees what he's landed on. When the realization smacks him like a ton of bricks, what he thought could be soft mounds of ground, he sees he's landed right on…breast! 

Quickly, he scrambles to get off you, and apologies fly from his lips. Gale goes to help you up, his cheeks red as his eyes flicker from your breast to your eyes, trying so hard to get past the awkward situation he's found himself in. Gale is trying to explain what happened to you and your two companions, your eyes much more understanding than those of the other two sets, who are suspiciously narrowed at him. Gale introduces himself as he's trying to piece together what's happened. He can't fight how his thoughts are scrambling with how soft you felt, how good you smell, and what if he would have fallen…somewhere else…

Gale mentally chastises himself for his perverted thoughts; gods he's touched starved, isn't he? Two sets of breasts to the face, and he's spiral. The worst part is you are completely pleasant, even apologizing to him about where he landed as if it was somehow your fault. Maybe his luck has changed? He did manage to fall on a very kind stranger who happens to also be in his predicament…

After a brief discussion about your situation and impending doom, Gale offers you two to join up. Judging from the two mysterious tags along with you, he figures you could use a wizard and a cook in your camp. Your face lights up in an excited smile, immediately going to say yes, but the dark-haired girl quickly puts her hand over your mouth, and she and the pale guy pull you two to the side for a huddled conversation. Gale tries to seem like he's not eavesdropping, though he is happy you're saying you all could use a wizard's talents, and you think he's nice? Awe. 

"Seems like a chatty type," the half-elf says;- shit, he is chatty…

"Don't forget he did cop a feel darling…perverted if you ask me…" -Perverted!? It was an accident! 

"Oh, Astarion, hush. You pulled a knife on me. You're no judge of character, and Shadowheart, if you don't want to talk to him, just send him my way." You look over your shoulder and smile at Gale, making his heart skip. I enjoy a good conversation…" 

Coming back over, you accept him in your group, introduce everyone, and start your adventure to look for a healer. Gale will try not to have any more mishaps regarding you, but he is only a man… as he walks beside you, trying to make a conversation, Gale feels someone staring at him. Turning his head, he sees Astarion walking behind him and Tav with a wide, knowing smirk…  

[cineresis]

Angels in America

It's amazing how fast an evening at your favorite club can be ruined by someone keeling over and frothing at the mouth. The band never quite gets back into the swing of things afterwards.

"Angel," sighed one of the men, or nearest approximants, at the table next to mine, "why is it that I can never go anywhere with you without stumbling across a body?"

"Oh, come now," said his partner, a soft, fluffy confection in caramel and cream, rising hastily to make his way toward the source of the commotion. The first gentleman, dark, lanky, and excruciatingly chic, got up to follow him. "It's hardly every time."

I stayed where I was for now, casting my gaze around the room as I went over my memory of the past twenty or thirty minutes. Too many people passing close enough to slip something into the victim's drink, too many others to watch at the same time, too many more opportunities to poison him outside my field of view. I was a detective, not God.

"Stumbling upon, once. Literally. Do you know what it's like to have to clean up after that sort of thing? It takes a personal toll."

"Hush, Crowley," chided "Angel". "People can hear you, and you know how queer they get about these things. Ooh, yes, that's strychnine, all right," he added cheerfully, pulling a small vial from his vest pocket and tipping it into his handkerchief. "Nasty stuff."

I got up. As I approached, I caught the faint, unmistakable chemical sweetness of ether fumes and gave them a wide berth, choosing instead to inspect the victim's plate and glass before turning to scan the room from this perspective.

"Now, just what might you be doing?" drawled Crowley.

I looked him over, too, while I was at it. In Crowley's case, this involved a lot of looking and not much over; he was easily more than six feet tall, even while slouching rakishly. The snake tattoo on his right temple suggested certain things about him. The dark glasses that he hadn't removed since he'd entered just suggested questions, since I highly doubted he was blind. "I'm a detective," I said, leaving the obviously at the end of that sentence to implication. "What are you doing?"

This response seemed to delight him. "So are we," Crowley answered, and grinned. "But if you want to get specific about it, I'm keeping you distracted while my friend saves this man's life. Let's see your license, then."

As I took it out, keeping at least one eye on him and his partner, Angel called out to the rubbernecking crowd around us, "I need someone here to run and call the nearest hospital, and a couple of strong men to help get this poor fellow someplace dark and quiet to rest. Best use one of the tablecloths for a stretcher," he added to the first volunteer who stepped forward.

Crowley leaned in closer to study my license. "Drake Silas Donovan," he read off. "'Silas', really?"

"What about it?"

"I've just always wondered what kind of parent would name their kid Silas."

"The kind who had a grandfather named Silas," I replied coolly, snagging my license back. "Your turn."

He obliged. Anthony J. Crowley, it read, licensed in London since 1905, the year before mine. I wondered how long he'd been at this; he looked too young for his apparent age, but then I looked too old for mine. "A. J. Crowley," I read his signature aloud. "Get asked if you're any relation every time, or just most?"

There's a certain motion a person's head makes when they roll their eyes. Crowley's was making it. "The man's an embarrassment to the side," he griped. "I made my name legitimately."

"And your friend?" It wasn't as if I couldn't put two and two together. There's a certain type of person who's got both a nose for trouble and the brains to prepare for it; if it walks, talks, and thinks like a dick, it probably is one. It was just that I wasn't in the habit of trusting people, and I'd be a real schmuck to neglect basic due diligence on the guy purportedly surrounded by bodies. 

Detectives are no better or worse than any other person. They just think it's usually more interesting to solve crimes than commit them.

"Oh, he's as legitimate as it gets." Crowley turned to his companion, who was getting to his feet, brushing his clothes off fussily. Beside him, the two volunteers hoisted the unconscious victim onto a tablecloth spread across the floor, momentarily dislodging the ether-soaked cloth before Angel caught it and laid it carefully back in place over the victim's nose and mouth. "Aren't you, Aziraphale?"

Angel — "Aziraphale"? — looked up, startled. "Pardon?"

"Mr. Donovan here wants to see your detective's license," Crowley explained, enunciating his words with malice aforethought.

"Oh! Yes. Of course I always have that with me. Now just where did I..." He started patting down his pockets, stopped suddenly, and took a lovely calfskin card holder out of his coat. "Ah. Here it is."

Beaming, he passed it to Crowley, who passed it to me with the comment, "You'll find everything in order, I'm sure."

I glanced down at the card, then back up at Angel. "Am I supposed to call you A. Z. Fell or Aziraphale?" I asked, pronouncing the Z correctly as zed.

"A. Z. Fell is how 'Aziraphale' is pronounced in the King's English," said Crowley blandly, affecting a cut-glass Oxford accent on the last phrase. His partner seemed pleased by this comment, rather than annoyed.

"I'm afraid my progenitor bestowed me with a rather unwieldy given name," Fell admitted, raising fascinating questions about just how many syllables the British peerage could fit on a birth certificate when they really tried. "Aziraphale just sounds so much more euphonious, don't you think?" Crowley was right; I couldn't tell whether Fell had meant to say A. Z. Fell or the de-accented gloss. He'd lengthened the half-syllable between zed and Fell to a full vowel, but some people said zetta.

"I wouldn't know," I replied, handing the license back to Crowley, who was nearest. When Fell didn't take my bait, I added, "Lucky that you happened to have ether handy. I wouldn't like to imagine what might've happened if you'd decided to stay in tonight." I also lied when I said sorry, and when I swore to tell the whole truth and nothing but. Little white lies are the oil in the gears of civilization.

"Oh, I always carry that, too," Fell explained earnestly. "One gets into the habit after one's first run-in with strychnine, and of course ether has so many useful applica—"

"I wouldn't, angel," Crowley interrupted, sounding very amused. "Mr. Donovan thinks you're the one behind this."

"Oh," said Fell, nonplussed. "Gosh. Well, I — I suppose I can't blame him. He doesn't know me from Adam, after all, and has no reason to trust me — I did warn you about giving people funny ideas, Crowley, honestly. Of course," Fell turned to me, laying an elegant hand across his chest, "if you were to search me, you would find only a small collection of antidotes — oh, but a habitual poisoner would probably carry those, too, especially if he were the sort of voyeur with a penchant for playing the hero. I certainly wouldn't be convinced of my innocence. Yes, I can certainly understand whatever suspicion you might feel towards me, however misplaced it may be."

Crowley watched this thought process with an expression somewhere between fascination and agony. "Well, at least now he probably thinks that if you'd done it, you'd have been caught by now," he remarked, presumably because he was thinking the same thing. "You'll have to excuse my friend," Crowley added to me. "He still believes that the innocent have nothing to fear. Somehow."

"First time visiting?" I guessed.

Fell's bemusement answered my question before he did. "Pardon?"

"Never mind."

[j0kers-light]

Your blog is my my favourite after work stress relief! Can I request joker sending reader to get some DNA from batman so he can find out his true identity and maybe they kiss and joker isn't happy at all?

His Lighthouse: A Little Favor (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

A Little Favor - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A STORY UPDATE!

Hey hi anon!!! 🖤✨

August 10th! I've sat on this ask for... good Lordt. I don't do well with taking breaks but slowly but surely I’m cleaning out my ask inbox! Progress. Anyhoo! I combined this wonderful request with this one! I hope everyone enjoys this oneshot as I continue to rest up my hand. The next chapter will probably be updated next month.

Edit: I'm so happy to know my blog is your after work stress relief! That's why I work so hard to make great content for people to enjoy! Sending love your way! Read this tomorrow after work beloved!

Edit number two: I forgot to add the song choice lol

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @ins0mniac-whack @spaghettificationandpretzels @reneisance @alittlesmartcookie @ninacutebee16 @carydorse

Wanna be included in the official His Lighthouse taglist? Let me know! 🖤✨

At the end of the day, you had to understand that this was Joker's idea.

He fabricated this crazy idea and dragged you into it. Naturally, it quickly spiraled out of control and yet, it was still his idea.

Joker had no right to be mad at you. You did what was asked of you, although his reaction to it all still hurt. Should you have known getting DNA from Batman would be the catalyst for you and Joker's first fight, you would have said no when he asked you.

At the time it was a far fetched request, it still was, but you saw how much it meant to Joker.

He was stressed out for days trying to orchestrate some outrageous plan with no results so far. He wanted something new and original to annoy Batman with and no run of the mill tactic would do.

Nothing was worse than watching Joker try and scheme and not come up with any ideas. Joker quickly became irritable and moody even towards you.

You tried offering hugs or encouraging kisses but he shrugged you off and continued working on his schemes and useless intel as if they held the answer. You were hurt about being pushed away but decided to work on your work far away from Joker and his bummy attitude.

You were honestly getting fed up with the cold shoulder treatment until Joker literally popped up out of nowhere with an eerie grin on his face. "Bunnnnnnyyyyyy, can ya do me a lit-le favor?"

His cajoling voice should have warned you. It was manipulative and sickly sweet, but it was the only source of attention Joker gave you in days– so you paid it no mind and sucked up his attention like a sponge.

Joker knew you had separation anxiety. He iced you out on purpose knowing you'd do anything for his attention. And Joker wanted you desperate enough to do anything.

What he was about to ask you was no easy task.

"Y-You want me to w-what?" Surely, you heard him incorrectly but Joker just grinned and kissed both of your cheeks, your eyelids, and finally your nose.

He was being too affectionate but it didn't dawn on you at the time.

"Aht aht, you heard me correctly, doll. I want yooooouuu, to, uhh, get D-N-A from my dear friend Batsy." He said it like it was the easiest thing in the world. You weren't sure if he was serious or not.

"B-But how?! I mean, I know the guy– we're on speaking terms," you missed Joker's jaw clenching. "But that won't help me get.. Joker, do you know what you're asking me to do?!"

He did. Joker thought you were the perfect candidate for this job.

You were an innocent civilian and the caped crusader would never suspect someone like you to be up to any nefarious deeds. You could outsmart a fox with your wit and rob someone blind with that smile of yours.

You were perfect for the job. It didn't matter if you succeeded or not, in fact; Joker expected you would fail but he still wanted you to try. There was more to this insane scheme than just getting a sample of DNA, but you didn't need to worry yourself over the details.

"Y/n.. Bunny. Sweetheart! Look at me." He waited until you did and rubbed your pouting lower lip with his thumb, "M'not askin for much. A napkin with some sweat on it, a swab of uhhh, saliva, ideally a piece of hair! It's. Not. That. Hard. Y/n. Do anything it takes. Butttt, don't fail."

During his speech Joker's tone became dark and you knew he was getting serious. It wasn't a request, this was an order.

You still were unsure but you didn't want J upset with you! He trusted you with this task and even though you were underqualified, you'd try your best!

One look into his dark jade eyes made you cave in.

"O-Okay..." You mumbled.

Joker gasped and hugged you close. He then showered your face with kisses and soft, "That's my girl! Thank you, Bunny!" into your ear.

Each little praise made you feel sick to your stomach. Just what did you agree to?

The next day you were a ball of nerves. Joker left a little after lunchtime, leaving you alone with your doubts.

What if you failed? What if you got caught? Should you seriously go through with this?

You were already an accessory by helping Joker with whatever plan he cooked up this week. Although the role was small, you could face some serious jail time– as if harboring a fugitive wasn't already a serious offense. That thought sent you down another spiral. What if Batman figured that out and arrested you? This was a big risk you were taking.

"Okay, Y/n calm down. You're overthinking things. Just stick to your plan, you got this." You psyched yourself up and headed out the door.

Gotham City was full of crime and even busier people.

You usually kept your head down and stayed out of trouble, but tonight, you wanted trouble to find you. The quicker something happened, the quicker the possibility of Batman swooping in to save the day could happen.

Now, you understood that Gotham was a huge place. The population was well over ten million and stretched out between three connecting islands. The probability of Batman coming to save you was negative zero. He had far more important things to do than save a random citizen from petty crime.

However; there was a zero chance of you running into Joker all those months ago when he first escaped, yet here you are. Dating a wanted criminal.

Anything could happen so you applied the same principle to Batman saving you. You sighed to yourself and waited for the walk sign to turn green.

The plan was to get mugged– an easy objective in this wretched city– or be a witness to something bigger. Nothing too violent or dangerous but high profile enough to warrant the bat's attention. It was only eight pm so you had all night to run into the Dark Knight and begin your actual mission.

But first, you needed a bite to eat. Your nerves were shot so you headed over to a nearby corner store that sold hot food. You'd kill for a birria taco right about now.

Joker promised that you would have extra security tonight and that nothing would happen to you on their watch. All you had to do was lure Batman out, get a sample, and book it back to your apartment.

If only things in life went as planned. While you were walking across the street, two men dressed in black nodded to themselves and followed. Around the corner, your security detail got distracted by a rival gang and started a fight, leaving you alone and without backup.

The store's bell chimed when you walked in. The smell of beef and spicy peppers hit you instantly and made your stomach cry out in glee. Rows and rows of convenient food and drinks were inside the store but you ignored it all to head over towards the hot food section. Javi spotted you coming and greeted you warmly.

Javi and his wife treated you like family since you were a regular at their store. You were always polite, a great tipper, and you respect your elders.

Iliana wanted you to join the family for real and matched you with her nephew but you weren't interested and neither was since he stood you up on the first date. You smiled fondly and cast the memory aside. You were happy with Joker even if things recently were a little rocky at present.

You came to a stop near Javi's counter with a heavy sigh. Javi already knew your order and began to prepare it.

"Dang, at least let me pretend to order!" You laughed.

He waved you off. "I know what my hija wants. Birria taco, jalapenos on the side, extra cheese, with four limas, no?"

He laughed at you feying offense. "You ain't gotta call me out like that.. but yes."

Two men bursting into the store carrying guns interrupted the playful banter. Your pension for trouble was impeccable. The night had just begun and already you found yourself in a pickle.

A gun was pointed at Javi's head as a robber demanded the money from both cashiers. Javi started speaking Spanish to stall but paid the price with a punch to the face. Thankfully he was able to hit the panic button as he fell.

"Javi!" You cried out his name as the other thug walked up behind you. He eyed you up and down with a lecherous grin.

A few patrons tried to make a run for it and were riddled with bullets. A hand covered your mouth and yanked you back into a chest before you could scream.

"It would be a shame if I blew your head off. D__n, you fine." You felt the gun dig into your temple followed by a wet kiss trailing down your neck.

The two men quickly took control of the store and then it was just you and Javi in a sticky situation.

Where was your security detail at a time like this?! You blinked back tears as minutes dragged on in a state of dread.

You were forced to watch as Javi was ordered to empty out his cash registers. Thank goodness Iliana wasn't working tonight, the woman had quite the temper and would've been shot if she opened her smart mouth. You on the other hand was smart enough to keep quiet even as the robber got handsy with you. Javi didn't like that one bit but staying calm was the only logical thing to do in this situation.

He locked eyes with you when you whimpered. "It'll be alright, Y/n. Focus on me." You nodded and tried to ignore the stranger groping your body.

"QUIT STALLIN' OLD MAN!" Javi was hit again and forced to empty the drawers faster.

You flinched away from your captor when he nuzzled your neck. "Y/n, that's a pretty name.. Hey whatcha doing later? Wanna come with me?"

Was this man, the same one holding you gunpoint, asking you out? You had no comment and shuddered in disgust when he sucked on your neck harder and humped your leg as his partner did all the work.

Javi tried to reason with the thugs to let you go, but you knew this wouldn't end well.

For starters, neither of them wore any masks. And two, the robber already had his gun raised to shoot Javi when the lights suddenly went out. The store was plunged into darkness and the two goons were immediately spooked. "What the... who turned off the lights?!"

"Ion know man but I don't like it." The gun pressed to your temple wavered. 

Then you heard it. Soft footsteps to your left.

A whooshing sound was heard and then you were pushed away from your captor. Since you had good night vision (all thanks to Joker and his love for the dark) you watched a shadow darker than the night fight off the two robbers.

Batman actually showed up. You were relieved yet curious. Weren't store robberies beneath him?

The fight hardly lasted a minute when the lights were turned back on. The convenient store was secure and you looked around at the aftermath in awe. Two robbers were lying on the floor in pain, a few dead bodies were near the door, and Javi was lying unconscious behind the food counter.

You were the only one left standing as Batman secured the store. You didn't want to follow through with your mission— I mean the man just saved you, but this was your only chance. The Dark Knight looked everything over once more before locking eyes with you.

His footsteps barely made a sound as he approached.

"Are you alright?" His modified voice sent shivers down your spine. It sounded familiar yet so foreign, but this was a friend. You weren't afraid of Batman.

You were however in shock. Getting a sample of his DNA sounded plausible in theory but now as he stood before you, you were humbled real quick.

"Y/n? Did he hurt you?" Batman asked again and reached out to touch your elbow.

You didn't know you were shaking until you collapsed into his arms with a wet sob.

The only sound in the store was your muffled cries. Joker broke his promise and your security detail failed to do their job. You were held at gunpoint and a random man put his hands on you. You could only imagine what Joker would do once he found out. Just thinking about him made you tense up in Batman's arms.

Somehow you had to get DNA from your savior. Your e/c eyes shot up to Batman's concerned ones. They were a lovely shade of blue unlike you've ever seen.

"I.... I uh. I'm f-fine." You mumbled.

Batman's eyes squinted and accessed you pensively. He wanted to say more and parted his lips to do so, but the sound of approaching sirens snapped him back to reality.

Batman sighed and was turning to leave when you stopped him, "Wait! I haven't thanked you!"

"Quit getting into trouble and you wouldn't need to thank me."

Good point. You pursed your lips with a scoff. "... Well I can't guarantee that."

Batman spun on his feet and you panicked. He was leaving and you had yet to get anything off the man! Your window of opportunity was closing so you had to think fast.

You thought back to Joker's request. 'A napkin with some sweat on it, a swab of uhhh, saliva, ideally a piece of hair!' You glanced at Batman's retreating form.

His cowl covered his hair and the black Kevlar suit guaranteed that no sweat was accessible to you. Which left....

"Do anything it takes. Butttt, don't fail."

You squeezed your eyes shut. "Bats wait!"

He wasn't supposed to be here. The panic button Javi hit sent a distress call to the GCPD and since Batman was in the area, he decided to check it out.

It was a simple robbery in progress until Batman realized you were inside.

You had a knack for getting into trouble and you were also very easy on the eyes. Nightwing teased Batman about it constantly. You were a weakness to the Caped Crusader. Whenever Batman heard a crime in progress with victims fitting your description, he dropped everything to come save you.

Bruce had a crush on you and he hoped you reciprocated those feelings.

It was the only reason why you batted your eyelashes, took the time to talk to him (like a human being) and thanked him in your own special way whenever he rescued you. It was the reason why he stopped in his tracks and gave you his undivided attention tonight.

There were a million and one things he could be doing right now yet he waited for your next move.

You rushed over, grabbed Batman by the face, and pulled him down for a kiss. He was caught off guard but you were on a mission. You and Batman had kissed in the past; a chase peck here or there, well before you had met Joker, but nothing like today.

Today, you gave it your all.

Your tongue swiped the roof of his mouth and danced with his tongue to collect the highest amount of saliva you could.

You made this kiss count and made sure it was wet and sloppy. Batman held you close with a strong hand on your waist and you tossed away your guilt of infidelity in order to get what your lover wanted.

Do anything it takes, but you would not fail Joker. He could never find out about this though. 

The GCPD cruisers finally arrived at the scene and Batman shoved you away. He gave you one last heated gaze before he left the way he came. You watched him go as you dug in your purse for the plastic baggie you had inside.

When you were sure he was gone, you spat inside of it and hid it right as cops stormed into the store.

Javi was coming to and so the interrogation began. Your bag burned hanging by your side. You did the impossible, you actually got DNA from Batman! You just hope it was enough.

The first thing you saw when you returned to the penthouse was Joker pacing in the living room.

The last thing you wanted to do was confront Joker after being interrogated by Jim Gordon and his men all night. Joker pounced on you the second he saw you.

Joker grabbed you by the shoulders and shook you roughly. "WhaT. Happened?!"

He already had an idea on what happened. He got a call from a recon team in the area saying you were taken to GCPD headquarters for questioning after being involved in a robbery.

Despite personally sending you into danger, Joker's heart dropped to his stomach. Were you alright? Did you manage to trick Bats or were you unsuccessful? Judging by your defeated face, it was most likely the latter. The report from his men didn't include details yet you never seemed to surprise him.

"I-I'm okay. Javi and I were held at gunpoint at his corner store tonight. People died so I had to make a statement downtown."

That didn't answer his unspoken question so Joker asked you point blank. "Did you get what I asked for?"

You stared at him in disbelief. Joker was perfectly calm in light of what you just said. "Joker? I said I was held at gunpoint tonight."

J smacked his lips with a shrug. "OK? Did ya get what I uhh asked for?"

You blinked in silence. There was no way this was the Joker you knew and loved.

Possessive and yandere Joker would jump at the opportunity to kill anyone who dared lay a finger on you. Mind the fact you were teary eyed! That alone would have a normal Joker on his knees trying to make you happy again. The man in front of you now was all business so you shoved him away in anger.

Joker looked confused by your actions but you didn't care. You were tired of his attitude.

"You promised me I would be safe tonight but guess what? The exact opposite happened! I almost died!"

"But you didn't." Joker interrupted. Your jaw dropped to the floor and his callous remark. It was the last straw.

You were ready to scream. "Unbelievable. Unbelievable! What is wrong with you?! Is your stupid plan to kill the bat more important than my safety?" You saw Joker open his mouth and you quickly cut him off. "Don't answer that."

His response would only break your heart even more. You shook your head and tried walking past Joker but he yanked you back by your arm.

"I won't ask again, Y/n." He glanced at your satchel. You followed his gaze and grew defensive. So you did the impossible after all. He was impressed. "Hand it over."

"Get your hands off me." You fired back.

You were tired and beyond frustrated with Joker. For an entire week he neglected you and your needs and gave you the cold shoulder for absolutely no reason. Yet when you finally do something for his sorry behind, he's the one that gets an attitude? Tough cookie.

You weren't going for it and he would not get to benefit off of your pain. You almost died to get this D.N.A. Screw Joker and his plans, you weren't giving him anything.

Joker just rolled his eyes at you and ripped your bag off your shoulder. You had no time to stop him, it happened so fast. Perhaps you were more tired than you thought.

He stormed straight to the dining room table and dumped the contents of your bag out on top of it. "Excuse me, what are you doing?!" You yelled at him.

You shuffled behind him as pens, crumpled receipts, your lip balm, wallet, etc. fell out of your bag along with a plastic bag that caught Joker's eye. He turned his nose up at the contents since it was a liquid and clung to the plastic.

He held it up to inspect it more closely. "Do I wanna know what this is?" You took one glance at the clear liquid and then proceeded to look away.

Nothing got past Joker. He was too smart and probably identified the contents already as you remained silent. He was only asking to belittle you and that made you even more mad at him. Joker was insulting you left and right tonight.

He shouted your name to get your attention. There was no reason to lie to the man and you wouldn't be nice about it with the way he was acting.

"What does it look like?" You snipped.

Joker wondered how in the world you got spit from his enemy but focused on the other things like your tone.

"Watch it, Y/n." Joker noticed your closed off demeanor and grew suspicious. "How did you geT it?"

Why did it feel like you were in the principal's office? Joker had what he wanted, there was no need for another interrogation tonight. You already went through three at the police precinct.

Joker could pretend that he didn't care all he wanted but the man put the J in jealousy. You were not going to explain how you got that sample. His foul mood stunk up the room and telling him would only make things worse.

You cleared your throat while scratching the back of your neck. "I'm tired after being held at gunpoint to witnessing a murder, to being questioned over and over by the police. It can really drain a girl... so I'm gonna turn in for the night."

You eyed the time with a grimace. It was almost midnight.

Joker knew what you were doing. He hated when you ran from things. The fact you were, was confirmation that you were hiding something.

"You know I hate, uh, re-peat-ting myself but I'll do it one moooore time. How. Did. You. Get. It?" Each word chilled you to the bone and Joker's aggressive aura had you cowering in your boots.

You had never seen this version of Joker before. He was treating you like you were one of his henchmen. And then it hit you. You were. Joker sent you on an errand and he wanted answers, however; you weren't under his employ and you owned him nothing, especially with how he was treating you.

"It doesn't matter how I got it, Joker. You wanted it, so I got it. Honestly, a thank you would suffice. Now move. I'm tired."

You shoved Joker to the side but in doing so, you presented your neck to his gaze. He zeroed in on the fresh hickey blooming on your shoulder. He was too busy this past week to even talk, let alone touch you. It wasn't his work. And then he knew why you were so fidgety and dodging his questions.

His left eye twitched and he saw red.

You were nearing the hallway when Joker caught up with you. You yelped at his sudden appearance but you weren't expecting him to slam you into the wall and yell in your face.

"Are ya too tired after uh, fooling around with Batsy? Really Y/n? Are ya that desperate for attention you'll let anyone touch you?"

You were insulted until you remembered that one of the robbers left a hickey on you before Batman knocked him out.

You tried to tell Joker this earlier but he wouldn't listen. "J.. that's not.."

His fist collided with the hall next to your head, making you jump. It was too close for comfort.

"Shut! Up! All.. I needed you to do was spook the dumb bat! Make him think I wanted to know his true identity! NOT drop your pants for him! Did ya enjoy having sex with your ex?" Your eyes widened in fear.

That was a secret you vowed to take to the grave. How did...

Joker laughed right in your face.

"I know Bat's is an old fling of yours, Y/n. Don't act all sur-prised. Why do ya think I want him dead soooooo badly, hmm? Gotta take out the competition. He asked for it, touchin what's mine. But don't worry, I got juuuuust the thing to handle our dear Bats. But I know you, Y/n. You.. you like to follow instructions. I asked for DNA and I know you got iT. Let's spread your legs and find out just how much of an obedient whore you reall–"

You ended Joker's rant with a loud slap to his face. Joker blinked in shock. He never thought you'd hit him but sure enough, it kinda stung.

You were just as speechless (and a little scared of the consequences) but you wouldn't stand around and be insulted.

Joker slowly turned his head to face you once you gained the confidence to speak your mind. 

"How dare you? I risked my life for you but the only thing you care about is how I got the sample? You wanna know? Fine I'll tell you, I kissed him! I kissed Batman because you asked me to! I was held at gunpoint, groped, and kissed on by a stranger because your men failed to protect me! A guy touched what you think is yours but you only care about me kissing Batman! You don't even care about me and my well-being! I-I watched people die tonight. I feel awful for cheating on you but is it wrong when YOU asked me to?"

He stepped back when you started to cry.

"You can't use me and then get upset when I do anything it takes to appease you! I am not her!"

"You know that I'll do anything to make you happy! This stupid plan of yours was driving you insane all week so I agreed to help but you manipulated me! Am I guilty for what I did? Yes! I am but I shouldn't have to apologize. I was simply following your orders. I did anything it took to not fail."

All was quiet in the hallway as your words sank in. Joker finally saw how much this affected you and he was at a loss on how to rectify this situation. He could start by drying your tears.

"Y/n, please." Joker raised his hands but you slapped them away.

"No. Don't touch me, I'm done. I'm done." You smiled and Joker knew you meant it. You were the only person he knew that could cry and smile at the same time and still look beautiful.

His worst nightmare was finally coming true. You were waking up from your fantasy and were kicking him out of your life. Joker never wanted this day to come but it was happening.

Joker loved everything about you but your eyes were his favorite. They were so expressive, a literal window into your soul. He knew exactly what you were thinking and/or feeling with just one look and today, your e/c eyes told him everything.

You were done.

You stared straight into his green eyes and your gaze didn't waver. Your conscience was clear and with a voice of an angel, you doled out Joker's penance. "Get out of my apartment and don't come back."

Joker slid to the floor just outside your front door in shock.

Perhaps this was one of those out of body experiences people talked about for he felt absolutely numb. He couldn't hear anything and he looked down at his hands only to find them shaking. Joker couldn't believe it. You were done. You wanted him gone and you had every right after what he did.

He failed to protect you, subjected you to a near death experience, and forced you to betray your morals and your loyalty to him— just to follow his orders.

He treated you as if you were one of his hired goons.

He treated you like he did her.

He knew he failed when you pointed out that fact. Joker promised that you'd never be involved with his organization but he broke that promise and sent you out.  How dare he not treat you like the goddess you were? He failed to cherish you and now you were done with him.

His hand came up to touch his sore cheek. You had every right to slap him. You were everything to him and he neglected you to focus more on his work. He betrayed you in the worst way.

You opened his eyes to the path he was leading you down and he felt sick to his stomach.

This past week was stressful but he went too far. He twisted your love and trust and crumbled it up like tissue paper to accomplish his goals. Nothing could rectify this but he had to try. He couldn't lose you. He just couldn't.

Joker was still seated outside your front door like a lost puppy. He considered scratching on the door if that would prove just how sorry he was. He was a fool for manipulating you and dragging you into his world, but he would spend the rest of his days doing everything in his power to earn you back.

Of course, he had no clue how to win you back but if one thing Joker was good at, it was being resourceful. His eye caught the small display case of flowers you kept in the hall off the elevator and a light bulb went off in his head.

He couldn't lose the best thing that ever happened to him. He needed to make a phone call. Joker could only hope that Morgana looked past their differences and helped him.

In the meantime, J kept an eye on you with the security camera app on his phone. You disappeared into your master bedroom and had yet to come out by the time Morgana and Mac arrived many hours later.

They looked at the infamous clown sitting on the floor and shared a look. This was worse than they thought. Morgana was weighed down with items but nudged the blond with her elbow. 

Mac sighed but cleared his throat to get Joker's attention. "Boss? Boss. We got everything you asked for." Mac said on deaf ears. 

Joker was spacing out, staring at your black front door– lost in thought. What if this didn't work? Was this truly the end? He couldn't lose his reason for existing. You had to take him back.

Morgana was getting impatient and adjusted her handful before speaking up. "He's been sitting there all day.." She whispered to Mac and he slowly nodded. He had never seen his employer look so defeated before.

The green haired clown looked like it was the end of the world and he already accepted his fate. But Mac wouldn't be here if Joker didn't have a plan in place to win you back.

Although if this didn't work, then Mac was genuinely concerned for Joker.

J had camped outside your apartment for the entire day, refusing food and water– not wanting to miss if the door opened and you welcomed him back with open arms.

Even Frost came by, not believing it when Mac reported that Joker had 'broken down' outside your place. You and J never fought before so everyone was at a loss on what to do.

"Is she still inside?" Morgana asked out the blue.

Joker came out of his fog, nodding listlessly. He looked up and saw the items he asked them to bring and jumped to his feet to help. Morgana yelped at the sudden motion and almost dropped her stuff. J rolled his eyes but took control back over the situation.

He fished out his phone to check on you. No motion detected for hours. "Hmm. She's been inside her room since this morn-ing. It's now or never."

Joker unlocked the front door and gestured for Morgana and Mac to follow him inside. Morgana glanced around and set down her supplies. When she heard Joker's idea over the phone, it didn't sound plausible, but now looking at the space, he was a mad genius.

He looked at her with an arched eyebrow. "I can work with this." Morgana assured him.

"Great, then I'll grab the rest." Mac sighed. He left the apartment to start hauling supplies up.

For the next few hours, the three of them worked on turning Joker's apology into a reality.

You woke up to the apartment's stereo system crackling to life. What was Joker up to now?

You patted your bed for your phone to check the time. Your eyes blinked in disbelief reading the time. It was close to nine pm. You slept the entire day. Granted, after you kicked Joker out, you showered, and cried yourself to sleep but you didn't think he would bother you anytime soon. You told him to get out and not come back.

But this was Joker here. Since when did he listen to anyone? You groaned to yourself and got out of bed to tell him off again.

This wasn't a small offense that he could sweep under the rug. Joker couldn't treat you like one of his goons and think it was okay. He hurt you with his careless behavior and you deserved an apology.

You knew Joker would never own up to his mistakes and apologize so you had to be an adult and assume responsibility instead. You needed some time away from Joker to think about your next course of action. Sending him away was a spur of the moment decision, one that you regretted making all day. You were never one for separation. Not having Joker nearby ate away at your heart even if you were upset with him.

Good thing Joker always thought two steps ahead of you.

The apartment was completely dark save for a path of lit candles in glass vases, situated in front of your door. You almost tripped on them walking out the door. You rubbed your eyes thinking you were dreaming but it was real.

A trail of light began at your bedroom door and led down the hall into the unknown.

You heard an instrumental playing in the background and immediately teared up. You could smell what lay ahead but it still felt like a dream. The distinct smell of roses in the air told you this was really happening.

Your hardwood floors were covered in roses and candles, creating a sea of red towards your living room.

Rose petals clung to your bare feet but you kept going. You had to see this through. The path kept going until you saw the huge arch made entirely of flowers– no doubt Morgana's doing. It was well over six feet tall and immaculate in design.

Red and pink balloons hung from the vaulted ceiling and their silk string tickled your shoulders as you walked through the dense field.

It was straight out of a romance film, everything was over the top. You had never seen so many flowers in the same room before. There had to be over a thousand individual rose petals lining the floor and over a hundred more stems in luxury vases scattered throughout the room.

You didn't know where to look, it was too much to take in. You were surrounded by roses.

You came to the end of the path and sobbed reading the giant pink balloons that spelled out, 'I'm Sorry.'

They said what Joker could never express.

Your living room was unrecognizable in a sea of roses and the soft glow of candles. Each detail sent your heart aflutter, but there was no Joker to be found. The song continued to play on a loop as the violins and trumpets set the mood perfectly but it meant nothing if Joker couldn't apologize to you directly.

You didn't know how he managed all of this while you slept. This had to take well over four hours if not more to assemble. So you waited for Joker to show and explain himself. As seconds turned into minutes, your anticipation turned into disappointment. You really thought Joker would be brave enough to come out but once again, he failed you.

You sighed and turned to head back to your bedroom when you finally spotted Joker.

He stood by the balcony door with his hands in his pockets. He had washed his makeup off and stood before you bare and honest.

The candlelight bounced off his freckles and highlighted handsome face, scars and all. His lips were bitten raw and you swore his eyes were puffy but Joker wasn't a crier. There was no reason for him to do so yet to your amazement, he blinked back his tears before speaking.

"B-Bunny.. I uh.." Joker raked a hand through his sunkissed locs and sniffed his nose. It was endearing to see a man like Joker at a loss for words. And haunting to see him so emotional.

But despite all of that, he used your favorite nickname. Earlier he only used your real name; a clear indication that he was mad at you. Now Joker was back to calling you bunny and that small detail made you crack a smile.

"Hope you don't mind.. I uh dec-or-ated a bit. You see– I uh, trieD staying away. I really did. but I can't. I can't just go away. I need my Light.. and I know ya need me too so.. P-Please, don't make me go."

You stayed still as Joker came over to cup your face. His palms were shaking but warm against your dry, puffy face and Joker noticed.

He took in every detail and commemorated it to memory since he saw you last. The tip of your nose red and raw from crying, your quivering lower lip, to the way your eyes watered staring up into his.

"My pretty girl.. You're right. You're not her and I shouldn't treat ya like that. I won't treat you like that ever again but ya gotta give me another chance. I can be anything you need me to be but I... Please let me come back. I need ya, doll. I need my Light."

You gasped in shock when Joker fell to his knees at your feet. "J-Joker!"

He left a lingering kiss on your stomach poking through your top and looked up at you.

Joker gazed at you as if you hung the stars and the moon in the night sky. His eyes rivaled them with how they gleamed in the candlelight, begging for a chance at redemption. Another song played on in the background but the two of you paid it no mind. You were keen on Joker's lips parting to speak.

"I don't deserve ya but I'll spend every day proving that I do." You carded your fingers through his hair and watched Joker close his eyes. "Please, Bunny." He sighed.

He kissed your palms and trailed his kisses up your wrist until you had enough. With a high pitched whine, you yanked Joker up by his hair and captured his lips in a desperate fever.

Joker didn't complain about the pain but heeded your unspoken command. He stood to his full high and kissed all of your pain away. You tried to talk in between gasps for air but Joker silenced your attempts with his fervent passion.

"You hurt me." You moaned.

Joker nodded and pushed you backwards until the back of your legs hit the couch.

"I know. I'm sorry, Bunny." He pushed you down and took in your beauty amongst the candlelight and sea of red.

Joker dropped to his knees again and helped you spread your legs. "Lemme make it up to ya."

[italiansteebie]

steddie week day three: first kiss @steddie-week

if Steve was being honest with himself, he'd always thought about what it would feel like to kiss a guy. would it be different than kissing a girl? softer? more intense? maybe he wouldn't have to take charge for the first time in his life.

that sounded nice.

and if he was going to be completely candid, the weed he and Eddie were smoking, currently rolled up into a joint that was being passed back and forth between the two of them, was only making it worse.

"I've never kissed a guy."

Eddie looked over at Steve and snorted, "Uh, duh. You're like super straight," and Steve shrugged. "does thinking about other guys' lips constantly fall under the category of straight?" and Eddie turned to look at him, really look at him. "Wha- Steve. you're high." and Steve only shrugged, once more. he smacked him lightly, "dude, if that's your fucked up way of trying to 'connect' with me or whatever, it's not funny."

Steve finally looked back at him, "Why would I joke about that," his eyes shined with hurt, and Eddie felt a little guilty, but laughed anyways. "I dunno. I just, you're king Steve. you aren't- you don't like guys." Steve scoffed, "don't tell me who I like, eds, that's not fair. and I haven't been king Steve in a long long time," and his tone was confessional, and suddenly the room felt a whole lot warmer.

Steve shifted so they were face to face.

"y'know. I am sorry, for what ever I did in high school. I wasn't a cool guy," Steve said, tone soft, and Eddie shrugged, "I kinda forgave you after you saved my life." and somehow it felt like a vulnerable confession. Eddie passed the burning joint back to Steve in hopes it would create some normalcy again.

Steve took it, taking in a long drag, eyes glazed over, "this is probably the wrong time to tell you this but- I've. I'm like, majorly in love with you, Eddie. and I- yeah I'm high but like, I don't have any inhibitions and I want you to know before the feeling swallows me whole and I die. sorry. I just- needed to tell you, it felt like I was keeping a secret and I don't wanna have secrets from you."

"do you always do that?"

"do what?"

"apologize for having feelings."

"oh. yeah, I guess I do."

"why?"

"because I'm scare that if i'm not sorry, or I'm too honest, people will run away."

"im still here, aren't I?"

and Steve let a hazy smile form on his face, "yeah, you are."

their faces were closer now, noses almost touching. "I like you too, Steve. I've fallen victim to the Harrington charm, and I don't want anyone to save me." Steve giggled at eddies theatrics, "was that a line?" Eddie shrugged, "if you want it to be," and Steve nodded, "I really, really do."

"It's not just the weed talking, is it?"

"No. it just, gave me some blind confidence."

"Good, good. I'm going to kiss you now. is that okay?"

"yes, please, now."

and Eddie closed the ever shrinking gap, finally, lips meeting each others. there were no sparks, or fireworks, or anything like that. it felt like coming home, after a long day. it felt like the comfort of a warm shower, or the softness of a quiet morning. it was love, pure love. Eddie sighed into the kiss, placing his hands around steve's waist, pulling him closer. Steve whimpered as Eddie deepened this kiss, hands grabbing at his shirt, trying to get as much contact as he could.

he only whined a little bit when Eddie pulled away, "sorry, needed to breath," and that broke the tenderness as they both fell into a fit of comfortable laughter. "I wanna take you on a date." Steve said, still giggling, Eddie pulled him back into a cuddle, "oh yeah, where we goin' baby?"

"we can go to Enzo's, and then back to my house, and I'll make you dessert."

"aww, all that for little ol' me,"

"everything, always for you, eds."

"I'm looking forward to it," Eddie said, placing a kiss on Steve's forehead, stubbing out the long forgotten joint, pulling him in even closer. "There's nothing like a first kiss." Eddie sighed, "Only if I'm the last one," Steve said, grabbing Eddie's hand.

And there was no doubt in his mind that Steve would be.

[ltsaradharkness]

Spoilers. Deadpool and wolverine.

Mostly just thoughts. So super random.

What hot ones with Ryan and Hugh it's hilarious.

Gambit is hilarious. Weirdly I'm glad he was never in the live action that way. He did the voice well and Channing is having so much fun the last couple movies. His spot in bullet train gets me every time.

I cringed a lot at some of what Deadpool would say like omg stop.

Laura was perfect. Same character but grown, a little closer to the books plus she needed more screen time. Like I would have loved to have seen her reactions to watching Logan drink and piss on Deadpool's parade. But otherwise perfect.

Them at the end was chefs kiss.

Blade and Electra. Perfect epic. So funny.

Baby pool was weird. So was kid pool. Loved seeing all the different pools. Omg I just realized his arms were growing back ew. Hehheh nice pools hair and then him tonguing the dog. Ew.

Peter!

(fix your zipper)

Little too far with all the nut shoots like ok but 😲 😳 we get it craws to nuts got it.

I love the two fight scenes with them. Great music choice. The coexist was hilarious. That is more seat belts than are in that van. Aw flash back to picking up the picture.

Um question for Hugh what is in the bottles. I figured the clear is water. But what's the whiskey and do you have a preference.

Omg I don't know how much of it was prop and how much was cg but Logan skeleton when he was taking to it at the beginning too good.

Speaking of props, Happy's office. All the little props from all the different places. Like epic.

Omg me darcy is the sharming tva bad guy, like lol.

Nova's hands are the worst CGI in the movie and whatever practical they did to the actors hands the rest of the time why. Just made it worse.

Nova is a good character, I actually felt bad for her for a second and then she put her hand out of people's nose and I was done. Also epic walk.

I dug all the cameos actual or just fourth wall breaks, nice.

I have the soundtrack stuck in my head. Yay.

She only has like three lines, and I'm not sure what he voice really sounds like since I've only seen like two things with her, but the credits say that ladypool is Blake. Which duh, ts is too short. Love ya but short.

Shawarma. Yeah saw that. Blind al wishing she was deaf. Them literally being outside his apartment the whole time. Tva lady being hot for Peter over topless Hugh, hilarious. I need a short with them.

All the very male gaze of Hugh shirtless with the mask. Woof. That was not female gaze. Nope full male gaze. Which even if he does more as wolverine is probably like a fair well to that level of muscle since Hugh has said its part of why he was getting out, that level of work out and etc to look like that is bad and not fun. So understandable.

Marvel h christ.

I'll probably have more but I'm getting tried of typing. Probably schedule another post when I see it next.

[dbphantom]

Watched the first 2 episodes of the Fallout show and was pleasantly surprised. I have a few complaints but I actually did enjoy the first episode a lot and the 2nd was pretty decent too

I really really enjoyed the sets, especially the Vault. Really well done and the vibes are perfect. The scene in the farm where the film of the projector burns and looks like bombs going off around them during the raid was great. A touch cheesy but I appreciated it bc I am a cheesy media connoisseur

I really like Lucy and the ghoul (don't remember his name). Maximus is on thin ice cuz dude is... a bit unhinged in the first 2 episodes. But he was raised by the brotherhood so I'm wishing him the best character arc. I am hoping he realizes how shitty the brotherhood is and defects by the end of the season... I'm convinced that's what's going to happen, but we will see what they do.

One scene that made me roll my eyes was the raider husband coming back to life after Lucy cut his jugular so that the dad could get the kill on him. Like why not let that moment impact her more?? Why did the dad have to be the one to kill him? Was it supposed to foreshadow that the dad was a raider or something? Cuz honestly I'm mostly suspect due to the raiders taking him with them, it's classic to have the father be a criminal but he's reformed because of his dead wife and kid... Would be awesome if they twisted it so it's the mother who was the raider, but didn't they already say she was from this Vault and the dad was the one transferred over? Regardless, that totally ripped away a character moment for Lucy. That man stole her kill...

Another thing I didn't like was the appearance of the Brotherhood so soon in episode 1. They appear before the viewer even knows what the wasteland looks like for everyone else. You see the Prydwen before you see your first established settlement and that kind of ruins the idea imo. People are struggling to live, but the brotherhood is hoarding tech. Show the people struggling first, THEN have the Brotherhood appear.

Maybe they're doing it this way because you're supposed to be viewing things like Maximus (loosing his faith in the brotherhood as the season goes on because he was raised by them and was indoctrinated, please, it would be a nice parallel to Lucy), but it still makes the pacing feel off. The friend I watched it with (hi @bautistawithadrive) agreed w/ that and he isn't even a Fallout fanatic. It just feels weird. I get that pacing is gonna be wack cuz it's an 8 (?) episode season, but it just isn't working for me.

The ghoul is fine. His intro scene at the start was cute. I found it interesting the shot of the bombs going off around them, but I'm 90% sure it's canon in lore that the Fallout nukes are less powerful than ours so I have no real complaints. If it's not canon, then it's a widely accepted fanon. I was just confused why the little girl wasn't blinded by the flash because I'm pretty sure there are logs in the games of people who were blinded when they saw the flashes? I could be misremembering tho I don't have enough room for all the Fallout lore in my brain. Anyway it's an insignificant detail overall afaik, so I'm being fussy, I think.

I am kinda bummed the ghoul doesn't look worse tho. Weird complaint probably but I was hoping he'd be a bit more idk... Ragged? Given all the other gore in the show, I was interested to see how they'd do the makeup for the ghouls, but just like nexus modders, they took the cowards way out. He looks (and sounds, oof) like a generic bald dude with some liquid latex on his cheeks and a missing nose.

The best friend of Lucy is another fave, I really.enjoyed every time she was on screen. Good actress, I hope she either becomes a villain (that eyepatch in the end credits bit of ep 2 is throwing me haha) or follows Lucy out of the Vault (or both).

I'm also curious to see where the brother's character is going to go because they could do a lot with him since he was pretty bland at the start. He could follow Lucy out (maybe with the best friend) or start some kind of political change in the people of the Vault so it will cause conflict when (if) Lucy returns, or he could convince them all to leave the Vault. It'd be cool if he found what their specific Vault experiment was meant to be, then either put it in action or made sure no other Overseer would be able to continue it. Maybe I have too much hope for such a short season... But it would be a fun way to introduce Vault experiments to the audience.

One thing I am VERY nervous about is if they're going to make Lucy pregnannte. I could see them doing it bc that sex scene with the raider felt like a Chekov's gun situation (plus the BFF being like "I can't wait to raise our kids together!" which initially had me like 'wait what are they a lesbian couple forced to get with dudes to make babies? That'd be an awesome storyline!' but thinking abt it I'm wondering if it is foreshadowing for the bestie to also leave the Vault and track her down. Which I want to happen, I loved her character). Idk they could have just included a sex scene for the sake of having one... But I'm also thinking about all the morning sickness vs radiation sickness jokes they could be making, so if there is a scene of her puking in the next few episodes (beyond the gore-fest), I am SO calling it

But like to be clear I don't WANT it to happen, usually that kind of thing in shows makes me turn it off immediately because I'm so not interested in watching a character slowly become 2D for a wailing potato we're just supposed to like because it's a kid, so I hope they surprise me, but I also wouldn't be shocked if it did because all the set-up is there 😬

[cambria-writes]

good morning! turns out i was a little too busy to post this yesterday so here we go!

i feel a little better about messing up the posting order lol. thank you for the comments and messages i really appreciate it. 🥰

lmao not me posting this at 6:30am while i'm at work

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader rating: M, each chapter rated individually warnings: vomiting, vecna appears, guns and related gun violence, jason carver exists, swearing as per usual, chekhov has a lot of guns, my brain's still a bit too addled so lmk if there's anything else! word count: 3,649

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕱𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓: ℌ𝔬𝔩𝔡 𝔓𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔬𝔫

There’s a second where you’re scared it didn’t work. You hear the beginnings of the can or hairspray exploding, even feel the heat of it on your feet. But then, just as you’re thinking that you’ve effectively just fucked the both of you over even worse than the bats could, there’s silence. 

You let go of Eddie’s shoulder and stumble back, sputtering through the blood spilling from your nose. You can’t see anything even when you open your eyes, bright spots covering most of your vision. Your ears ring so loudly you can’t hear Eddie at all; if it wasn’t for the fact that you could feel the floor board vibrating faintly with his voice, you don’t think you’d be able to tell if he was there at all.

Despite the splinters catching in your fingers, you make your way to the edge of the wooden porch. Whatever was in your stomach spills down into the bushes. You feel Eddie next to you; hands brushing hair away from your face, running down your back, holding you by the shoulder to keep you from toppling down over the edge. There’s a second where you find yourself thankful for the fact that you haven’t really eaten anything solid recently; this would have been so much worse. 

When you sputter and spit in the bushes, Eddie pulls you up to sit and braces you against his chest. He wipes your nose and mouth with something you can hear him throw away. You’re still trying to blink the spots out of your eyes and gasp for breath. 

“Jesus fucking christ,” you hear him whisper, holding your head against what you assume in his shoulder. “What, what was—are you okay?” 

Your tongue feels too thick in your mouth to articulate words properly, so you just groan in response. You fist a hand in his shirt and try to pull your legs under you. Your hands sting, your entire torso feels bruised and your head feels like it’s being fractured from the inside out. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Eddie says, slowly petting the top of your head down your neck. “Take however long you need, you’re okay.” 

“No,” you croak, trying to push yourself away. Though you can’t see much, you’re not too blind as to miss the fact that there’s a car in front of the house. You can’t tell if the doors are open or not, but the headlights are still on. 

It’s definitely not any of you.

Without being able to articulate, you flail trying to get Eddie to look at the car. It takes him a second, but when you feel him turn his head, you also hear him swear. 

“Fuck, okay, shit. Stay here, I’ll—”

“No,” you repeat, more forcefully. “Hel—help me up. I can, I just need help.” When Eddie doesn’t move, you hit his chest with as much strength as you can muster. “Fuck, I said help me up.” 

He agrees, quietly, and obviously reluctant. And it’s a struggle for you just to stand. You know you probably should just stay outside and wait, but you have no idea if anyone else is coming, or who’s even here to begin with. 

With an arm under yours, Eddie shoves the front door open, and that’s when you hear the distinct sound of a struggle. You shove yourself away and stumble into the entryway wall, do your best to take a few deep breaths. 

“Lucas,” you breathe, and you wish you hadn’t ditched the switchblade. There’s a lot of things, right now, you wish you’d done differently. 

“Lucas!” Eddie shouts out, and just the force of his voice makes your vision swim. You swallow down the resurging nausea and push yourself off the wall. Faintly, you can hear Lucas’ panicked voice trying to talk to someone. 

“Fuck,” you groan, taking one last deep breath and clenching your teeth before launching yourself up the stairs. 

Significantly less fucked than you are, when you loose steam halfway up, Eddie grabs your hand and drags you with him. When you finally reach the end of the stairs—landing in the attic, you hope—Eddie stops you. There’s an arm curled protectively around your shoulders. 

“Liar!” 

“Is that fucking Carver?” you ask, and you stumble back with him when Eddie steps back. 

“He’s not lying, man,” Eddie says, and there’s an uncertain tremble in his voice. “Chrissy, your fucking—Andy, or whatever his name is, they were all cursed, possessed, that’s why Chrissy—”

“Shut up!” Jason shouts, and this time, when you try to blink away the fog, you can finally see most of what’s in front of you.

And it’s Jason Carver, eyes wide, with a god damn revolver pointed right at Eddie. Lucas is, blessedly, gripping your handgun in front of him, and in between the two, there’s Max. Cross-legged on the floor, eyes rolled back into her head. 

“You don’t—none of you knew Chrissy,” Jason spits through clenched teeth, and you can hear the gun rattle when he adjusts his hands around the grip. 

“That’s why she went to see Eddie,” Lucas tries again, desperate. “How could she have told you she was seeing things? What would you have done?” 

There’s more shouting; even in the state you’re in, you know there’s no reasoning with Jason. He’s too far gone. All the indoctrination, the panic, the grief. You know what that does to someone. You lived it. 

You’re entirely positive this is a bad idea. A horrible one. At best, you’ll probably be out for a few days. And at worst, well. 

You can probably heal yourself if you get shot, right? 

“Jason.” Your voice is low but steady. There’s a quality about it you don’t really recognize, like you’re hearing someone else’s voice, not yours. Eddie’s arm tightens around your shoulders, but you tap it twice to get him to let go. “Jason Carver, I need you to listen to me.” 

The gun shifts to you, and you can practically see down the barrel of it. You bite your tongue against the urge to laugh. It’s genuinely funny to you, knowing what’s been said about you, that this kid thinks that you could be intimidated by the threat of death.

“Why the hell would I listen to you, psycho?” He growls, takes a step toward you. 

“Because I don’t have a reason to lie,” you reply, holding your arms out and stepping away from Eddie. “You can aim and shoot that thing at me all you want, kid. Are you forgetting what got me in the hospital in the first place?”

“Don’t!” He shouts, tightening his grip on the gun. Lucas and Eddie both call out to you, but you ignore them. “Don’t fucking move.”

“Everything Lucas said is right, you know,” You continue, letting your arms fall back down to your sides. “Vecna, the other dimension, the monsters in there. You don’t think it’s weird, what’s been happening in Hawkins? You don’t think it’s weird how everything you’d heard about me rambling on about is being repeated by people who have nothing to do with me?” 

“That’s, that’s not,” Jason stutters, looking back and Lucas, down to Max, and back up to you. The gun lowers, just a little bit. “You’re all—you’re all in that, in that cult,” he spits out. 

“I’ve never been in Hellfire dude,” you say softly, taking another step forward. “I haven’t seen Eddie in years. I didn’t meet the other juniors until a few days ago. I told them everything about what’s been happening to me since Will Byers’ disappearance. And you know what?” The gun lowers again, just a bit. And, just a bit, Jason’s expression starts to soften. “They told me I was right.”

Lucas lunges for Jason, and Eddie knocks you to the floor from behind. You barely have the wherewithal to brace you fall with your hands, and this time your ears are ringing from a gunshot that passed maybe a little to close to your head. 

Lucas has Jason in a chokehold, and before you can react or do anything about it, Eddie rolls to his feet and rushes at Jason, too. You scramble for the gun when it gets knocked to the ground, pull the hammer back and point. 

“Give it up man, please,” Lucas begs, out of breath. “We’re just trying to save our friends.”

Jason starts to go on another rant when you hear Eddie mutter, “Fuck this,” and clocks the boy right in the jaw. He does limp against Lucas, who generously guides him down to the floor instead of dropping him like the dead weight that he is.

You limply hand Eddie the gun when you move between him and Lucas. You fall more than you kneel on Max’s right side and put a hand on her shoulder. 

“Where’s her walkman?” You ask, looking up at Lucas. He turns his head to the ground a few feet behind him, and you find… you see broken plastic. Your heart jumps in your throat and you nod. “Fuck. Alright, okay. Okay, we’ll figure this out. She’ll be fine.” 

“Wait,” Eddie says, moving to crouch next to the broken walkman. He tosses a few broken pieces to the side and, miraculously, holds up a perfectly intact tape. 

“Go,” you say. “Go, go to the car, run!” 

“What do we do?” Lucas asks, kneeling by Max’s left side. “Is there anything we can do?” 

“I don’t know,” you whisper, closing your eyes. “I’m not Eleven, I can’t do that—I can’t do the weird mind melding thing she does.” 

In the quiet between you, you can hear music coming from outside. Faintly, at first, and then loud enough to shake the floorboards under you. You’re not a huge Kate Bush fan, but there’s probably no one you wouldn’t have been absolutely overjoyed to hear right now. 

“Wait, you said you met El,” Lucas says, rushed and almost tripping over his words. “You saw her when she was doing the thing, can’t you do it again?” 

“Dude I was knocked the fuck out,” you explain, desperate. “That only happened cause she was already looking for you guys. I didn’t do anything.” 

Lucas swears under his breath and lets his head fall on Max’s shoulder. When you hear Carver groan on the floor, you groan and stand up. 

But your legs buckle under you and you end up sprawled on the floor. Lucas is the one who gets up and, with a quiet apology, makes his way over to pistol whip Jason in the face.

“Good night sweet prince,” you mutter, lightly hitting the wooden floor beneath you. Lucas quietly moves over to help you back up to your feet, and you wave him off once you’re steady enough. 

Eddie bounds up the stairs then, a very rough looking Erica right behind him. While Lucas rushes for his sister, Eddie immediately runs to you and grabs you by the shoulders. 

“Never do that again,” He says, sternly, shaking you a little. You try to blink away the dizziness when he does. “Never put yourself in front of a gun ever again.”

“No promises,” You mumble, bringing a hand up to your forehead. “Can I, I should. I need to sit down.”

When Eddie starts babbling at you—telling you what you did was stupid, never do that again, what the hell were you thinking standing in front of a kid with a gun—but you slap your hand over his mouth to shut him up. 

“I’m gon…” you try, tongue thick in your mouth again and eyes unfocused. “I’m fuh… I feel like I’m gonna pass out.” 

While Eddie guides you to a wall and eventually down in until you’re sat on the floor, you try your hardest to focus. Once you’re settled, Eddie moves to stand up. You hold onto his sleeve and pull as much as you can.

“Hey what—what’s up?” He asks, scooting a little closer when he crouches back down. When you gesture vaguely as something behind him, Eddie turns around for a second to look at you with a frown.

He gets up despite his confusion and points down at the broken pieces of the Walkman. You shake your head and shake your hand a bit, clear your throat before you speak.

“The jars,” you say, leaning sideways to try and look past Eddie. “The ones on the boxes, the spider jars.”

“Why do you want the spider jars?” Lucas asks, voice strained and both arms still around Max’s shoulders. 

“You’re arachnophobic,” Eddie adds, but walking back towards the stacked boxes anyways. “Is this—are you trying to get a material component?”

You grunt and look away. You can already feel the bubbling desire in both of them to yell at you and tell you to cut this shit out, that you’ve already done enough—and arguably too much—and that you need to rest. You’re worried, though. Scared, actually. You glance at Max, see the barely noticeable tremors going down her neck from the frantic movement of her rolled-back eyes. Something should have happened by now, you think. Either because of the music this blaring from the car outside, or from the other team’s attack on Vecna. But Max is still stuck, still cursed, and you know you don’t have it in you to be able to plane shift and stay conscious after that.

When you look back at Eddie, he’s got one of the jars in his hands, but he’s looking down at it with a strange expression. You think you understand it; you’ve seen that king of helplessness in the mirror before. When he quietly walks back over to you and leans down a bit, you grab the jar with one and and hold onto his wrist with the other. 

“Astral spell,” you answer quietly, biting at your lips when Eddie crouches down in front of you. He doesn’t pull his hand away. “I wanna know what’s going on, and I want to see if I can get myself In Between again.”

“Meeting up with the psychic girl?” You nod. Eddie closes his eyes and lets his head fall back with a sigh. “You’re not even gonna entertain the idea of not doing that right?”

“No.”

Another sigh. When Eddie brings his head back, he takes a second to make sure both your hands are wrapped firmly around the mason jar before leaning forward and resting his forehead on the crown of your head. His fingers tighten around yours. 

“Do you…?” 

Eddie’s question trails off, but you take a second to contemplate before answering. 

“Maybe, uh. Like. Hold my—“ You don’t have time to finish your answer before Eddie’s sitting cross-legged in front of you. You maneuver the jar around so you can keep one hand on it as it rests in your lap. Eddie hold your one hand in both of his.

“I’ll…” he starts, clearing his throat before patting your hand. “You got this.”

You can’t help but snort. When you look to Lucas over Eddie’s shoulder, you give him a short nod before closing your eyes. You stay like that for a second before cracking an eye open. 

“What’s uh, what’s the verbal component?”

Eddie sits there slack jawed for a second before turning to look at Lucas, who shares an equally deer-caught-in-headlights look. 

“We kind of just always wing it,” Lucas says, an edge of panic to his voice. “Eddie just gives us some random thing to say in Latin and we pass of fail if we can say it right.”

“Shit well alright,” you mutter, closing your eyes again and taking a deep breath. ‘Lemme just…”

You feel the difference in where you are before you hear it. Like someone pulling at an invisible string behind both your ears. You can feel the muscles in your neck contract. 

You didn’t do this. Whatever’s happening, it isn’t astral spell, and you’re not the one who initiated it. It is quiet, however, so you have a feeling you know what’s going on.

When you open your eyes, you’re not standing, like you were last time; you’re still sat cross legged. It takes you a second to register where you are, but when you finally look up you actually trip over yourself in your haste to get away. 

Because there’s Vecna, all strung up, in an endless black landscape. Your breathing speeds up and your heart starts to race. You startle when you hear a choked noise from behind you. When you whirl around you nearly topple over.

Steve, Nancy and Robin are all being held up at odd angles, like they’ve been stung up and tied to a wall.

“Oh god, no,” you whisper. You don’t know how much you can do, like this; a quick look around doesn’t magically reveal Eleven. You lose your eyes and swallow against the panic and try to get your breathing evened out.

Last time, things started to disappear in smoke, when El had to leave. Maybe… maybe it’s just like a dream. Maybe you just have to focus harder on what you want to see.

But when you open your eyes again, despite the fact that you’re very sure that you weren’t facing him before, your eyes once again set on Vecna. There’s a frantic almost-thought that passes in your head for just a fraction of a second. Something raw and feral and petrified, something that sends frozen sludge in your veins. 

You scowl and shake your head against the feeling. You close your eyes again and focus more intently. Try to recall her face, her hair, the colour of her eyes. The collar of the white shirt she was wearing. 

When you open your eyes again, ominously, you feel like you’re even closer to Vecna, despite not moving from your spot. 

“Fuck you,” you spit, taking several steps back. “Fuck you and your stupid, twisted little games. Fuck you and your fucking psychotic god damn lack of a coping mechanism,” you grit out. 

When you turn around, you don’t close your eyes, and stalk your way to the pinned trio. You can feel the muscles between your ribs shaking and your hands feel frozen. 

“Eleven!” You call out, as loudly as you can, voice cracking on the last consonant. You turn back to see if you’ve magically gotten closer to Vecna, again. You’re not entirely worried about his presence, but you’re also not entirely convinced that Protect From Evil extends to whatever this place is. 

You freeze when you see one of his fingers twitch, and nearly jump out of your skin when you feel a hand fall heavily on your shoulder. 

“What are you—“

“Oh thank god,” you breathe, grabbing eleven by the shoulders and pulling her in for a very quick but very firm hug before holding her at arms’ length. “They’re in trouble, Vecna—‘

‘I now,” Eleven says hurriedly, flicking her eyes to look past you to Vecna. “I’m going to help.”

You release her shoulders and move to stand by her side. “How, though? What can we do from here? We’re not even in the Upside Down, and I don’t—I can’t make it there again on my own.”

Eleven turns to look at you and there’s an odd mix of a confident smirk and vindictive set in her jaw. “Piggyback. Come on.”

When she grabs your hand and tugs you forward, you can’t help but resist a bit as you head directly for Vecna. You put your free arm up in defense, but as soon as you think you’re going to run into him, everything turns into mist again, before disappearing. Slowly, several feet ahead, another image forms. As the mist solidifies, you can see the scene clearly; Lucas, still clinging to Max, nervously babbling back and forth with Eddie, whose hands are now clutching both of yours, looking about a second away from crying. 

And then there’s you, again. Sitting peacefully against the attic wall, body limp and. Leaned up against Eddie.

El pulls you to sit on Max’s other side, but doesn’t let go of your hand. 

“We’re going to get to Vecna through Max,” she explains, an edge of pride in her voice, reaching out for Max’s shoulder. 

“Wait, what do we—“

“We don’t have time,” Eleven cuts you off, though she sounds calm. 

And before you can think much about anything else—about what you’re supposed to do if you can actually find Max in whatever cursed mindscape she’s stuck if, how you’re supposed to deal with Vecna at all—before wind howls from behind you. The harsh gust blows the lukewarm water on the ground up into mist, and the blackness around you feels to melt away. An eerie blue-gray glow takes its place, and the cloying smell of rotting flowers and iron seizes your lungs.

Eleven almost painfully tugs you behind her before you can even make sense of where you are. There are streamers, tables, stands… is this the gym?

“You.”

You snap your head forward grabbing onto Eleven’s arm. Vecna looks… horrible. Grotesque. His skin glistens with something, and vines slip and slide across his decayed, reddening flesh. Just the sight of him makes bile rise at the back of your throat. 

You think you could have tolerated the sight of him if he hadn’t been looking directly at you.

You don’t have a chance to react before Eleven shoots an arm out, and Vecna goes flying through the air, landing in the stands on the other side of the gym in a cloud and cacophony of dust and splinters. Tugging you along, she runs in the opposite directly of the now shattered stands. Eyes glued to the whole in the wood and wall beyond, you’re nearly knocked over when something barrels into you. 

You have never been happier to have a facefull of red hair before in your life.

𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

@anothermunsonsimp @alovesongshewrote @averagestudent03 @doratheignora @storiesbyrhi

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CYCW0GzvlxK/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

https://www.instagram.com/p/CYAxMbirCXM/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

I just saw that Michelle liked these two pics and I truly feel sick and disgusted. It's bad enough that she still follows her. But what do you mean you are liking a photo of your brother's abuser with the child she has from the guy she cheated on your brother with? At this point, it's either fans and the public who are interpreting the Emvan situation completely wrong and they indeed remained "friends", or Evan is really surrounded by enablers who invalidate his abuse, because there is no other explanation to this. If the latter is the case I feel truly horrible for Evan. Not only would he have suffered trauma and maybe even complex ptsd from that relationship itself, but he would also have to deal with the additional trauma of never having been validated from his support system, which is so essential for the healing process. How is he gonna heal when his support system and the people who should want to care for him and protect him, are completely blind to the fact that Evan was an abuse victim. Maybe i'm reading too much into it and maybe i'm wrong, but seeing Michelles online behavior was really like a kick in the gut for me, especially because i thought she is a decent person. Ryan's and Sarah's behavior was already a sign that his support system might not be the best, but having people within his close family show support for his abuser (or might not even perceive her as his abuser) is just disheartening. And now i just can't stop thinking about the fact that Evan might have never spoken to anybody about all the horrible things he went through (which i'm sure is a lot more worse than a bloody nose) and that he might feel like he has to deal with it on his own :( It really breaks me and i feel so helpless.

i don’t want to make any assumptions about how michelle truly feels based on IG likes, even though i have my own feelings about it… but with that said, i can attest from witnessing my own family do the same exact thing with another family member who experienced domestic violence, that this is unfortunately not uncommon at all. we take for granted sometimes how some people really just have a nonchalance about these things, even when it's happening to a loved one. a “live and let live” mentality that allows them to sit on the fence. especially since evan and emma were together for so long, and i assume his family wanted to stay on good terms. still, when i try and make sense of it, my brain hurts. i don't know how all people don't have a visceral reaction to these types of things. also, his family lives far away so i am sure there’s a ton of stuff, probably the majority of awful things they aren’t aware of. DV is already a very isolating thing. i highly doubt evan considered/considers himself a victim despite what he endured, but that's just my personal feelings. no way to know for sure.

[monstrousfemale]

could you write a ficlet for your spotify wrapped no.8 song pls? ☺️

aaaaaa Thanks soo much for asking, I was so excited bc this is definitely on my top 5 favorite songs ever. I hope you like it 😌 Warning for Mature content and loads of angst. I crossposted this to AO3 because I just liked it a lot... Ain't much but it's honest work.

led by blind faith - Mature, 1845 words

"I don't know why we thought this would work."

The words echo over the payphone, carried over thousands of miles. They hurt just as bad as if they had been said right in Eddie's ear. 

He wants to fight, wants to ask Steve, just how could he say that? Instead, he breathes deep; in, out. 

"I love you," he says, because it's true. Because he wants it to be enough. 

"I know."

The line clicks off, and Eddie is left in the phone booth, pressing his forehead to grimy glass. Outside, Gareth has been tapping his index finger to his wrist. It's time. 

Steve holds Eddie's hand as they wade into the ocean. These shores are not the same as the ones back home, the waters are always colder. But they're alone on the beach, and Eddie clings to Steve's hand as they hiss their way into the frigid depths. 

Steve laughs at him, his nose scrunched up, eyes brighter than the sun overhead. 

"I love you," Steve says, like it's easy. It's always easier when they are together, actually on the same continent, sharing the same bed. 

"I know," Eddie says. He grins when he jumps on Steve, causing both of them to go under. 

"It's late," Eddie says, eyes stuck outside the window of his hotel. There's a tree swaying in the wind. It's late Fall, and its leaves are mostly orange. The European weather is unforgiving, and there's already a mess of fallen leaves on the hotel's lawn.

"I missed you."

It punches a hole in Eddie's chest, crosses his body like a pen through a sheet of paper. Like an arrow through the heart. Eddie thinks about writing it down, could probably use that for his next song. But Steve is sniffling on the other side of the line, and he can't make his feet move.

"I miss you, babe," Eddie says, yawns. It's true, he always does. Travelling with the band is fun, and he loves it. He loves playing for sold out venues and scream-singing his lyrics to audiences that know them by heart. 

But he does also love Steve Harrington, King of Hawkins. He does wish he could bring him along, hates that he can't. Hates that Steve is at home working a 9 to 5 to pay for his own college education, because he won't let Eddie help. 

"I wish you were home," Steve says, his voice low. He's trying not to sound like he's crying, and Eddie's chest is so full for him, he feels like he might just explode. 

"I wish so, too."

"You never call anymore." 

Eddie sighs, tries not to get defensive. He's not calling because he's busy, he's tired, he's living life. So is Steve, he knows he is. 

"I'll try to check in more."

"I hear more from the agent than from you," Steve says, and it's not even an accusation. It's just hurt seeping through. "She calls and gives me the hotel numbers, and tells me you're still not eating right, and still only up after 1PM, no matter the time zone. I miss you, Eddie."

"Steve, I'm trying."

"Yeah, so am I."

"Look, I'm not trying to scare you, or make things worse… but how do you know he's not off kissing cute European guys?"

Steve brushes his hair off his face, checks his watch again. He has to call Eddie in an hour. And he loves Robin, he does, and he knows she's just saying this because she's his friend, and she cares about him… But he wishes he had to go right now, doesn't want to have this conversation. He trusts Eddie, but also he knows what the answer makes him sound like. 

Nevertheless, Steve says what he always says whenever someone asks about the stability of his long-distance relationship.

"It's blind faith."

Robin doesn't have pity in her eyes when she looks at him after that, like a lot of others had had before. She just looks worried. He smiles softly at her, steals the last of her popcorn, and tries not to think about that faith. He really does trust Eddie. And Eddie trusts him. 

Eddie pushes Steve against the hotel room door, thigh between his, lets him grind down against him. 

Tells him, "That's it baby, you feel so good, so good, Steve."

Steve clings onto his hair, kisses him like his life depends on it.

They don't get a lot of moments like this, Steve doesn't get to travel much. But it was their anniversary, and Eddie was still on the road. He finally convinced Steve to allow him to get the tickets, and here they are. Making out in a hotel room in South America.

In the background, to drown out their sounds, The Cure is playing from a tiny stereo. 

Steve sings along as he throws himself onto Eddie's bed, smiling through the lyrics.

You, soft and only You, lost and lonely You, just like Heaven 

Eddie holds on tight to Steve’s hips, moves with him, touches him in worship. Whispers “you’re just like Heaven” into Steve’s collarbones, into his neck, into his chest. Steve whimpers for him, beautiful, divine.

"I can't fucking talk to you when you're like this," Steve says, exasperation dripping off every word. 

It may be midnight wherever Eddie is, but for him, it's the middle of the day, and he has shit to do. 

"You asked me to call," Eddie says, slurring. He's high, Steve can tell. And it's not weed, when he's high off pot he gets cozy and chill. Now, he is extra hyper and off, and Steve hates his voice when he's like this. Suspects coke or some other shit. He doesn't want to know.

"You promised me you wouldn't get high on the road. This is not okay. This is your career on the line, Eds."

"Oooh, you never call me that," Eddie chuckles, but it's dark. Nothing like his usual laughter. "I thought you wanted me to call more. I'm calling."

It hurts. Feels like being punched over the head, and Steve has plenty of experience with that. The dull ache, the dizzying effects. He's so tired. One more concussion and he might just be done for. 

"Don't call like this again. You’re putting me through hell." 

It's Eddie who hangs up. 

“I love you. I don’t think I could ever love anyone else like this.”

“Sometimes it’s not enough, Eddie. You know this. We knew this.”

There's a beat. Steve thinks maybe the call dropped. Thinks about the phone bill for international calls.

“Don’t say that, please,” Eddie finally says, and there’s something so solid in his tone that grounds Steve.

“Eddie, it’s just so…” Steve doesn’t know what he wants to say. It’s hard. It’s fucking lonely. It feels like pure desperation sometimes. 

“I know, I know. I’m so sorry, please Steve,” he’s begging, and Steve doesn’t know what to do with it. Hates himself a little too much for making Eddie sound like that. “Please, I need you to forgive me.”

“It’s not just about that one call, you know things were hard before that. It’s not even all your fault.” 

“Steve…”

“I’m in love with you. I don’t think I could ever love anyone else, either.”

There’s a sharp exhalation, relief that seems to worm its way from Eddie, through the phone line, into Steve’s brain. 

“I really am sorry,” Eddie says, means it. Steve knows he does. 

“Me too,” Steve says, sighing. “We’re going to be okay.” He doesn’t know if he’s trying to comfort Eddie or himself with that, but he suspects it doesn’t do a lot for either of them. Nothing could, right now. 

Eddie calls in the middle of the night, wakes Steve up at 3AM. Steve grumbles, but he’s happy to hear his voice.

“It’s witching hour, baby,” Eddie says, voice low and breathy. He’s mindful of Steve being extra sensitive to loud noises when he’s just woken up. Steve suspects there might be something else behind it tonight, though.

“I miss you,” Steve offers, untangles the phone cord on his bedside table. Pushes a hand below the blankets, brushes over his stomach, lets his palm rest there. 

“I miss you, big boy. Woke up thinking of you. Barely 11AM, aren’t you proud of me?”

“Hmm, sure, you want a prize for that?”

Eddie hesitates, and Steve smiles. He’s awake enough now that he has no doubts in his mind about what this call is. 

“Not a prize…” Eddie says, and he already sounds out of breath. Steve wonders where Eddie’s hands have been wandering, if he had already been touching before he even dialed. 

“Mm, no. A reward, maybe?” Steve asks, but his fingers are already dipping down the front of his pants. 

“Yeah, that sounds good. What do you have in mind?” 

“Oh, you’d love what I have in mind. For now, though, speed up for me? I can hear you, you know. You sound wet.”

Eddie makes a noise that has Steve hard in his own fist, and they get lost in each other’s voices and sounds like they usually would from much closer by. 

When Steve comes, he misses Eddie so bad he almost cries. 

When Eddie comes, he tells Steve he loves him so many times it sounds like prayer, and Steve falls back asleep with the phone stuck between his ear and his shoulder. 

They had met just before Corroded Coffin had been put on the map. Steve had been dragged to a concert because Dustin had needed a ride, and he had finally conceded. Eddie had invited them backstage, had doted on Dustin like only Steve ever would. They had probably fallen in love over the top of Dustin’s curly head of hair. 

Steve tries to remember that. He tries to focus on how easy it had been to fall, when he goes to bed alone after a long day at work. He tries to console himself with the knowledge that Eddie could have just said no to this arrangement, could have chosen to be single when he had headed out on a goddamn world tour. They had only been officially dating for a year when the band had gotten an opportunity to open for some big metal band Steve had never heard of before.

So Steve focuses on the love he feels, focuses on what he knows. And what he knows is that being with Eddie is worth it. 

It doesn’t make things hurt less, though. Just kind of helps manage the pain.

Eddie comes home on a Friday afternoon. Steve picks him up from the airport, has a sign that reads “my rock star” on it. Eddie looks tired, but the smile he has for Steve is large enough to lighten up his face, even if he calls him cheesy for the sign.

Eddie kisses him, and when they walk side by side to the car, Eddie’s arm over his shoulder, Steve thinks that, just maybe, they’re getting away with this after all.  

[aparticularbandit]

Okay you had to have known I was gonna send one of these your way for the Valentines

25. finding comfort in their scent

(I'm thinking specifically Claire finding comfort in the scent of Eve's perfume or something because we ALL know Eve takes comfort in Claire's but I will take anything you want to give <3)

blossoming romance writing prompts

UH WHOOPS?

She’s gone.

It’s been a rough few days, helping Eve shift through her things, making sure to separate out what was really hers versus what was meant to be Claire’s, gifts that Claire had been given and wanted to keep versus ones she no longer felt would be right to keep; filling one cardboard box after another to send back with her.  Eve would likely do the same with her things, too, but Claire told her she didn’t want any of it back.  Eve can throw it all away, if she wants, because everything Claire gave her….

She doesn’t want any of it back.

Still, Eve shows up on her doorstep with one of those same cardboard boxes – Claire knows it’s the same; she recognizes the spot where the packing tape had ripped away a weird rough patch of cardboard, recognizes the tidy scrawl Aunt Evanora marked it with when she’d gone to college freshman year (and which she’d scratched out in incomplete swipes of permanent marker) – not quite near as full to overflowing as it had been, but certainly with a few choice items in it.  Like Claire’s letterman jacket from high school, all purple with gold threading and a large golden H on one side.  Like the hoodie she’d only worn last week, when there’d been a sudden sharp cold day in the middle of summer and neither of them thought to bring a jacket, but Claire’s house had been closest.  Like a mixtape with her name etched on it and a solemn sort of, “I already made it.  Thought I’d give it to you before you left for college again, so you could listen to it and think of me when you were driving up, but—”

Eve hadn’t finished the sentence, and Claire hadn’t wrapped her arms around her or held her close the way she wanted to because they weren’t together anymore, and it was her fault, and you can’t really be the comfort for someone when you’re the one who broke up with them, that would only make things worse.

So Claire doesn’t say anything when Eve starts crying, doesn’t reach across or try to wipe her tears away, doesn’t even apologize, just takes the box, steps back, and shuts the door as quietly as she can so that it doesn’t feel like she’s slamming the door in her face.  Then she moves to the couch and spies through the blinds and stares as Eve stands on the porch for a few seconds, head dropped, shoulders heaving, until she finally reaches one hand up, wipes at her eyes, rubs her nose, and then turns and walks away.

The pit in the center of Claire’s chest grows, but she shoves it down.  She’s doing the right thing.  She is.  Eve would never…Eve would never have been really happy with her.  She would have thought she was, but Claire would have spent years lying to her, and then she would have resented having to lie to her, and Eve should be with a guy who is actually a guy and not a girl trapped in the body of something she doesn’t – and never has – wanted.  It’s not like she can tell her.  Eve would panic.  It would be—

It’s better this way.  She’s sure of that.  It hurts worse than anything ever has, but it’s better, and she’s making the right decision, and she’s saving both of them a lot of heartache in the future, and it’s her own fault that Eve’s hurting now because she never should have asked her out in the first place.

Claire pulls her hoodie out of the cardboard box, and the stirring of everything stirs up that scent of Eve’s – all blackberry and the slightest hint of champagne (it should have been wine, for all that Eve loved it) – and the lump gathers in her throat before she can think to stop it.  She holds the hoodie up to her face and breathes Eve in again the way that she will probably never be able to do again, and drops the cardboard box to the floor, leans forward, and does not cry.  She’s not going to cry.  Absolutely not.

But later, on the days when she misses Eve most, she pulls out her letterman jacket – she never washes the thing, how do you wash a letterman jacket – and breathes her in because while it fades from the hoodie, while it fades from everything else, somehow the letterman jacket doesn’t lose her scent.

(The last time Claire turns to it for comfort is three days before Eve calls her in a panic over an unplanned pregnancy, and by then she doesn’t need it anymore, and that’s good, because the scent has long since faded.)

[papirouge]

You probably don't remember me but I sent once an ask about the Romeo and Juliet play with the black actress: did you know they finally ended up replacing the actress for Juliet (with another black actress)?

And you know what? People are fucking celebrating that she finally was replaced with a "decent looking black woman". WTF is wrong with these people... And many of these are black people themselves!! One of the tweets with the highest number of likes that I saw was by a dark skin black man I- I literally can't with these self hating black men and pick me black women dunking on that poor actress, calling her ugly and all kind of names. Where is the fucking solidarity? Like at least if you think she was ugly why couldn't you just fucking keep it to yourself. White people see that kinda shit and they'll feel emboldened to call her and other black people ugly too, and then when called out they'll just point out to all the animosity between black people: "You see? They do it to each other too!!"

And let's not pretend like the white male lead is some beauty or something; I won't stoop down to their level and insult his looks but he was no Adonis I can tell you that much. People just have higher standards for women and expect them to always be beautiful while not expecting the same for men, but it's like 100 times worse for black women.

And it's not like they're even saying the new actress is beautiful, they're literally calling her "decent looking" and "not as ugly"... I wish I was kidding.

I'm just tired of it all....

Didn't Tom Holland noped out of this project too? ....if sk, the blind items where true.

Good for the former Black actress tho. She'll be spared from all this BS.

I'm too lazy to check the new actress but something tells me she's either light skin, have less negroid features (thin nose etc).

If I was you I would stop expecting anything from Black men on social medias. They're really the gutter of public discourses. That's why I rolled my eyes so bad when dark skin black women went off on that stupid Drake/Kendrick beef to allegedly defend the blackness of rap culture. So many people tried to paint it as a culture thing but I've seen too many people call Drake "beige" and *half Jew " to take this narrative seriously. It definitely had something to do with race. This whole beef relied on the resentment & jealousy of darkskin Black men (that Kendrick represent) feel against a successful light skin Black men such as Drake.

Black men love blackeness and black features when they're on males. They hate Black features on black women because they're dumb and self hating. I will never acknowledge anything they have to say about Black women.

So many Black men look unkept, smell bad, are unemployed, are less successful than their female counterpart (in the US - the only racial demographic to do so!! which shows how shitty/nonexistent the Black patriarchy is) are the community dick that bred 78 child out of wedlock yet have so many things to say about their female counterparts looks. Dusties United.

[the-mothmaam]

Opening up to a friend

·  Friend — Today at 11:03 AM

Hey girl, when and where is this art thing?

·  I feel like you sent me a flyer, but that was 100,000 years ago

·  Me — Today at 11:04 AM

(Location and time information)

·  Friend — Today at 11:04 AM

Aight, cool

·  And are we meeting there?

·  Me — Today at 11:05 AM

was just about to ask if you're down for that or if you want me to pick you up so you can save gas

·  Friend — Today at 11:06 AM

Nah, no sense in you driving for 9 hours this evening, we can meet there

·  Me — Today at 11:07 AM

ok, I'll probably be there between 7 and 7:30

·  Friend — Today at 11:07 AM

Sounds good

·  Also, did you just change your discord avatar?

·  Me — Today at 11:09 AM

yes, like just now

·  Friend — Today at 11:10 AM

I thought so, on my side one message had the old one and the next has the new one

·  Me — Today at 11:10 AM

been plugging different formulations into an AI generator

this was the most entertaining one

·  Friend — Today at 11:12 AM

Lol

·  Friend — Today at 11:37 AM

So how are we going to play the art exhibit?

·  Me — Today at 11:38 AM

you be the distraction while i surreptitiously replace the best pieces with counterfeits

·  Friend — Today at 11:39 AM

Okay. I'll pose as a prospective buyer representing a wealthy art collector and engage the staff in pointless conversations about the deeper meaning of the pieces we're not interested in stealing

·  Me — Today at 11:40 AM

(nod) sounds like a plan

·  Friend — Today at 11:40 AM

Do you have a fence or will we need to get in touch with a fixer?

·  Me — Today at 11:41 AM

i have a fence, but i haven't dug the post holes yet so it's more like a pile of wood. :p

·  Friend — Today at 11:44 AM

Goddess help me. You have to develop the contact before organizing the op

·  Me — Today at 11:45 AM

I could also just be acting dumb so that I can steal the art from under your nose and book it to Zihuatanejo.

·  Friend — Today at 11:49 AM

1: I think you know better than to double cross me, remember monty? 2: You wouldn't be planning to stay at the safe house I told you about in Zihautanejo would you?

·  Me — Today at 11:51 AM

Monty... Monty...I might have Eternal Sunshined him out of my head. And also, pffft, like I wouldn't have my own safe house. But just to be sure we should probably exchange address information and swap keys. Just in case.

·  Friend — Today at 12:00 PM

You really should go visit them. Their doctors have rigged up a little device that lets them type out messages. Though they mostly beg to be put out of their misery

·  I guess we'll use my fixer. I hate bringing her in on something like this though because she is such an art poser. Just be ready to be bored to death when we meet with her

·  Me — Today at 12:06 PM

i live my life that way. Shouldn't be a problem

·  Friend — Today at 12:07 PM

But Mothybaby, you are paying me a lot of money to help you get better at being evil, you really should be paying more attention. If you had hired someone less scrupulous they could very easily rob you blind

·  Or worse

·  Me — Today at 12:08 PM

is that what's been happening to my bank account? Here I was thinking Filipino teens were just scamming me.

·  Friend — Today at 12:10 PM

Marialos works for me, though likely not for much longer

·  So I guess it's both?

·  They're too careless. I told them to ship you boxes so you wouldn't catch on for at least a month or two

·  Ah well, it's why I don't like working with remote henchmen

·  Me — Today at 12:12 PM

Thank you! If I'm going to be scammed the least someone can do is make the lie last as long as possible.

·  Friend — Today at 12:13 PM

Marialos seemed so promising, but I think they won't get further than scamming tourists and people on reddit before their carelessness catches up to them

·  Me — Today at 12:13 PM

I want to be old a gray when I realize the video games I've been playing weren't name-brand titles and were instead really engaging bootlegs

·  Friend — Today at 12:14 PM

Why ship games when you can ship empty boxes and point to the ad saying in small print it was just the box?

·  I made a lot of good money on ebay in the aughts selling 360 and ps4 boxes

·  Me — Today at 12:15 PM

in the aughts? you were ambitious selling ps4 stuff

Friend — Today at 12:17 PM

Yeah, well the best mark is someone who thinks they're getting shady merch. None of the ps4 buyers ever even reported it

·  ·  Me — Today at 12:18 PM

lol, probably too embarrassed

·  Friend — Today at 12:18 PM

Embarrassed or worried they'd get in trouble for trying to buy one

·  We haven't really covered confidence games yet because that doesn't seem like your strong suit, but one way to ensure you get away with it is to make them think what they're doing is also illegal

·  We'll try a ring drop if you want to get a taste

·  Me — Today at 12:21 PM

ok but wouldn't the best fleece be a situation where the legality actually is in question for both parties?

·  I've seen Matchstick Men several times, I can spot a rube at 50 yards

·  Friend — Today at 12:23 PM

They're hard to setup and if everyone knows they're committing crimes you'll be taking on too much risk if things go sideways. Some gas station owner is going to call the cops, a fence might break your spine

·  Plus when dealing with other low lifes you really should stick to your word, you don't want to get a bad rep or no one will work with you. Don't shit where you sleep and all that

·  Me — Today at 12:24 PM

see but what if the entire racket is actually just a complicated layer of Inception?

·  How can you tell we're not in a simulation right now?

·  Friend — Today at 12:25 PM

It's safer to assume you always are. That way no surprises

·  Me — Today at 12:26 PM

the surprise would be that you're not (sad Price is Right music)

·  Friend — Today at 12:27 PM

Perhaps, but it makes other things easier too if you are assuming this is all a simulation it doesn't really matter if you put a bullet in someone trying to pull one over on you

·  Me — Today at 12:29 PM

Do subroutines not feel pain or experience fear? How maliciously unrewarding creating something like that must be.

·  What is the point of life if you can't learn to hate it?

·  Friend — Today at 12:30 PM

Well, like I tell my other clients, if you enjoy hurting people, do that in your own time. We're here to get results, not jollies

·  Me — Today at 12:31 PM

speak for yourself

·  also; I asked Chat GPT about you and I think you'll aprreciate what it has to say.

·  Friend (adjective): Describing a quality or characteristic that is exceptionally rare, unusual, or unique, to the point of being nearly or entirely unparalleled. Something that is so uncommon that it stands out prominently among its peers.

·  Friend — Today at 12:32 PM

Aw, chatGPT you flirt

·  Me — Today at 12:32 PM

right?

·  Friend — Today at 12:32 PM

The word actually means: made of or consisting primarily of tangible matter

·  Me — Today at 12:33 PM

at what point does something become un-Friend?

·  or is that a Thesus' Ship thing?

·  Friend — Today at 12:35 PM

Surprisingly there are few grey areas.

·  And very related to the ship though. The second ship the caretaker builds is conceptually a ship and thus exists as part matter, part idea until he hits the threshold of reality

·  Me — Today at 12:37 PM

kind of like something that exists within The Dreaming?

·  Friend — Today at 12:37 PM

In a sense, yes

·  Me — Today at 12:38 PM

you are much more fun to talk bullshit to than an AI. This is a compliment.

·  Friend — Today at 12:39 PM

Uh, that's because I have my bs in bs. Some hyped up language model will never replace me

·  Me — Today at 12:39 PM

that's the spirit! Denial until you're plugged into the Matrix forcefully!

·  Friend — Today at 12:41 PM

No need for force. If the machines were like, "yo, we taking over" I'd be first in line to be hooked up, especially if those robits promised me a working uterus in the matrix

·  Me — Today at 12:42 PM

·  Friend — Today at 12:42 PM

I wouldn't have much time before my biological clock ran out, but I'd do my best to have a baby

·  The poor thing would have a terrible life though. Batshit crazy mom, absent father, always on the move

·  Me — Today at 12:43 PM

yeah? being pregnant would be interesting, but i have no desire to raise a kid, it would probably just grow up to hate me

·  Friend — Today at 12:44 PM

I have wanted to be a mom since my 20's. I think I'd be a terrible mother, but I think I'd try anyway

·  Me — Today at 12:44 PM

that's commendable

·  Friend — Today at 12:46 PM

I'd raise my kiddo to be very independent and support them in whatever direction they wanted to go in life. But my mental illness wouldn't just go away, you know?

·  Maybe their father could be a more stable influence in that regard

·  Me — Today at 12:47 PM

That's assuming you co-parent and aren't a badass on your own

·  Friend — Today at 12:48 PM

Honestly I'd have to co-parent. I couldn't do it by myself. I am too broken to not have help raising my daughter

Me — Today at 12:48 PM

Thing I learned just now: Anteaters and sloths are the two most closely related animals to one another.

·  I've known some pretty bat-shit crazy single parents

·  Friend — Today at 12:49 PM

How did their kids turn out?

·  Me — Today at 12:49 PM

mostly human, partly harmless

·  Friend — Today at 12:49 PM

I want to make sure Samantha has every chance she can to be successful

·  Me — Today at 12:50 PM

Samantha is the name of my friend who recently lose her estranged husband and son. It's a really good name.

·  Friend — Today at 12:51 PM

It's a great name. I'd call her sam. If she turned out trashy like her mom she could go by sammy

·  Sam, goblin, and little one would be my nicknames for her.

Me — Today at 12:52 PM

plus you're naming her after this genius

·  My Samantha is totes a Sami

·  Friend — Today at 12:52 PM

It's such a flexible name

·  Me — Today at 12:53 PM

with an I though, because we went to HS with a boy Sammy

Friend — Today at 12:53 PM

Well see, if she turned out trans he'd have sam and sammy until he could change his name to something he liked better

·  Me — Today at 12:54 PM

I'm going to go shovel nutrition into the rotting hulk of a corporeal essence. So I might be slow to respond for a bit.

·  Friend — Today at 12:54 PM

No worries. I'm day dreaming about motherhood now and watching tiktoks

·  Me — Today at 12:56 PM

Does it make me a bad tabs woman that I don't want a baby?

·  Trans not tabs

·  Friend — Today at 12:57 PM

No more than it would make you a bad cis woman. It's your life to live as you choose

·  Me — Today at 12:58 PM

I used to think I wanted twins, each of the binary assignments. But my view of the world has changed a lot in 20 years.

·  Friend — Today at 1:01 PM

Yeah, it's not really a good time to have kiddos. And honestly I literally can't be a genetic parent at this point, so my desire to have them is meaningless. I'm too crazy to adopt. Meeting someone who already had them would be about my only way in at this point and I don't know how I feel about being a wicked stepmother

·  Me — Today at 1:02 PM

I never had a male name picked out. But my daughter would have been Cassiopeia

·  Friend — Today at 1:02 PM

Fun fact, suicidality, and some mental health diagnoses are automatic disqualifiers for adoption

·  Bailey would be me son's name

·  Me — Today at 1:02 PM

My sister had fully embrace it.

·  Me — Today at 1:03 PM

I did not know that. That's very sad.

·  Friend — Today at 1:03 PM

Yar

·  I talked about it a lot with my ex wife, but she didn't want kids with me. Though she gave birth to twins less than a year after we separated (while we were still in the process of getting a divorce)

·  That was devastating

·  Me — Today at 1:09 PM

I bet. That's one of the things my ex said to me after she revealed the miscarriage. That she thought of be a bad parent. I don't know how much she meant it versus how much she just wanted to hurt me.

·  Friend — Today at 1:10 PM

Even if she meant it. Her opinion of you is not worth caring about

·  Me — Today at 1:10 PM

Sad but true

·  Friend — Today at 1:13 PM

It could also be empowering. She doesn't matter, her opinions don't matter, she is a piece of shit narcissist who uses people and discards them

·  Me — Today at 1:13 PM

You know what they say, never marry your heroes.

·  Friend — Today at 1:14 PM

Was she your hero?

·  Me — Today at 1:15 PM

At one point. Long, long ago. She helped show me a world worth caring about and fighting for. Then somewhere along the way she decided i wasn't up to the task i guess.

·  I've been realizing just how helpful that was when she decided to start treating me down.

·  Tearing*

·  Friend — Today at 1:19 PM

Helpful how, I don't think I follow

·  Me — Today at 1:20 PM

It's incredibly dour and depressing are you sure you want me to explain?

·  Friend — Today at 1:22 PM

Only if you want to.

·  Me — Today at 1:23 PM

It just seems that the more intimately you know someone, the easier it is for them to attack your weak points for massive damage.

·  Friend — Today at 1:23 PM

That's very true. Only the people we are vulnerable with can really hurt us

·  Me — Today at 1:25 PM

I know it's the bad that makes the good worthwhile though. So I guess I just feel like touching the stove is always going to burn me, you know?

·  Friend — Today at 1:28 PM

Can you unpack what you mean by that a little?

·  Me — Today at 1:29 PM

If everyone you try to connect to ends up stabbing you in the back, is it worth the risk to keep letting people in?

·  That's where radical acceptance falls apart for me.

·  I feel like this is something I should talk to my therapist about. You know the one I actually pay to listen to me ramble.

·  Friend — Today at 1:33 PM

I would say yes, that is a great idea. But I also have some insight on what becoming isolated and distant from other humans is like.

·  Me — Today at 1:34 PM

It's why I find talking to you so easy, that and you've got a good sense of humor and we have overlapping interests.

·  I dare say you might even be a friend.

·  / dripping sarcasm I know we're friends

·  Friend — Today at 1:36 PM

I don't know about all that now, lol. Bad influence? You bet. Mischievous menace? 100%. Friend? Well that seems like a stretch

Me — Today at 1:37 PM

Okay as long as we're on the same page. I don't mind cutting wits with u but I also don't want you to think I take you for granted.

·  ·  And if I don't spell out SARCASM from time to time I'd be worried you actually believe me

·  In always afraid of hurting people that way

·  Shit, I think you're more effective than my therapist. I haven't been this open with myself in a while.

·  Friend — Today at 1:40 PM

I know, maybe one day you'll feel confident enough in yourself to believe that people like your company and won't abandon you because of a small issue

·  Me — Today at 1:41 PM

Lol yeah we'll work up to that one

·  Friend — Today at 1:41 PM

It's a marathon, not a sprint

·  Me — Today at 1:43 PM

fuck you for using the same words i've used against me

·  Friend — Today at 1:43 PM

I keep wanting to convince you to be mean to me just so you know that you can make mistakes and do things that hurt other people without it being the end of the world

·  Friend — Today at 1:44 PM

Me — Today at 1:44 PM

I have a sticky note with Fred Rogers on it looking at me right this second. I don't know how nasty i can be in that scenario.

·  ·  Friend — Today at 1:45 PM

He worked for OSS during World War II and likely killed a bunch of people

·  If that helps

·  Me — Today at 1:46 PM

nah, cause the post-its also say "You're special" and "I like you just the way you are" I have a hard time believing anyone with puppets could kill a man... feel free to make that my epitaph

·  Murdered by a gang of roaming muppets

·  Friend — Today at 1:47 PM

Well good news, snopes says that's a bunch of hoey

·  Me — Today at 1:47 PM

i do know Bob Ross used to be pretty angry

·  he's probably the better parallel.

I don't know if this will help you or not, but I've been carrying it around for the last few months in my noggin

Friend — Today at 1:50 PM

Bob Ross was in the Air Force in the 1960's and part of his gentle demeanor was a response to the aggressive nature of life in the service. I saw an interview he gave about it once. He said he vowed to never raise his voice after he left the air force

Me — Today at 1:51 PM

yeah, that's me

Friend — Today at 1:51 PM

What was it like being in the air force during the cold war?

Me — Today at 1:52 PM

I once raged so hard that my ex was literally afraid of me. This was back in the first or second year of the marriage. But that look... I can't let anyone ever look at me like that again.

it was fear, and betrayal, and disgust all rolled into a very unappetizing tamale

it made me feel like what all the bullies i ever had said about me. That I was a monster. It's why i surround myself with horror. I feel at home here.

·  to go beyond the pale and embrace my emo side, "the darkness is a comforting blanket"

·  Friend — Today at 1:56 PM

I can relate. I had a lot of anger problems as a teen and would often be quite aggressive

Me — Today at 1:57 PM

i got it from both of my parents. My dad was a rageaholic and my mom very likely had BPD. Not that I'd ever burden her with that opinion, especially since she's cooled the fuck out as she's aged

You know, the fun part of being a millennial is that we're the last great generation doomed to suffer physical punishment in droves.

[forgottenluck]

“Koun, I have something I ought to have said a while ago,” Ludger said as he delivered another round of Lord Koun’s favorite dumplings fresh from the oven. It felt a little weird not to drop the ‘Lord’ part of Koun’s name (or was it a nickname at this point?), though what he had to say required he speak to the Great Spirit as an equal. 

“It's overdue, but thank you for taking the risk of spreading your blessing to my brother. I know being who I am, you’re not confident in the kind of person I’ll be in the future. Honestly, I wonder what pieces of myself I don’t know yet either!” After going from a guy whose main worry was getting hired for a cozy job, to someone who burned every new bridge he built to keep his brother alive? The future his emotions told him to create surprised everyone around him, including Ludger. 

Some would call it a worse future. And objectively, they were probably right. But this was the world he wanted, and backing out now wouldn’t erase his mistakes.  

“I know a promise won’t cure the anxiety you feel standing near me, but I’ll still say it: whatever happens after, the aid you gave me is something I’ll forever appreciate. However our deal ends– Nii-san finally catalyzes, nature finds it better to bury me life forever, whatever–going through with it and meeting you? I’ll accept the consequences.” 

All of that was pretty heavy, something Koun usually didn’t like from him. He’d add a small pick-me-up joke, “You can even tell me a thousand ‘I told you so!’s and there’ll be no hard feelings. Go as nice or as mean as you want. It's free!”

The fox had been lounging on the couch of the apartment he now shared with Ludger and his brother, a book in one hand as he nibbled on some sort of snack. His power only required him to be in the vicinity of those he was boosting, after all....so he had plenty of time to kill.

Still was better than staying in that ruined village. Alone.

Yet, at his name, he perked up, ears twitching slightly as he blinked a few times. It was very rare that Ludger ever spoke to him without the honorific....he was always quite big on making sure that Koun had proper respect, after all.....which the kitsune appreciated even if he didn't show it much. So for Ludger to not use it, he now had Koun's full attention.

He didn't even spare a glance at the plate of dumplings.

He let Ludger speak, let him vent out what he needed too. And when he was done, Koun was quiet for a few moments. Then with a single movement he snapped the book in his hand closed and let out a sigh.

Koun was jaded against people, it had taken quite a bit of prodding to even get him agree to this, after all. Especially how heavily the scent of death and blood lay on Ludger. The man had chosen a dark path, and Koun's moral compass made it difficult to understand that path. But humans were.....always known for their stubbornness.

And blind devotion.

Over the past few months of them working together in a sense, Koun had come to see that despite the path that Ludger had chosen he was still quite the innocent thing. One track minded, and Koun...against everything, couldn't fault him for it. And even he knew that he'd been....volatile towards the man.

Yet despite that, here Ludger was, still thanking him, still trying to assure him that their promise would stick.

Silently he set the book down and reached over, taking one of the dumplings and poping it in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. It took a moment, but he swallowed and then reached forward again, flicking Ludger on the nose, his face twisting in annoyance.

"First off, I probably wouldn't be around anymore to tell you that I told you so." He said, the jaded aspect of his personality winning out at the beginning, annoyance seeping into his words. But then his expression softened; rare for him.

"I don't understand you." he said after a moment, and he turned his head away from Ludger, to the book at his side and the dumplings that he'd yet to eat. "I'm harsh to you, Jaded. I don't sugar coat things like your brother does, like your brother wants me too. Yet you still...." His eyes narrowed. "....You humans confuse me. How can you be so innocent and kind, and yet reek of death and destruction? How can you extend that to me despite the harsh words I return?" He paused and huffed.

"I'm quite aware how harsh I am on you, ya know." he grumbled a bit. "Your brother thinks that I should be softer with you. I think you both are idiots, and I'm not the type to just sit on my hands or spin pretty words." He might have been a kitsune spirit, an existence built upon lies.....he might have lied to himself for centuries....but Ludger was old enough to understand the consequences of his actions. "Your brother coddles you far too much, and that's one of the reasons I'm so harsh on you. The world isn't going to cater to your whims all the time, and you need to understand that. Am I harsher than I should be? Probably. Your scent puts me on edge, and I rely heavily on my sense of smell......" A pause again, and he let out another sigh.

".....I'm not as stable as you see that I am, ya know......my sense of smell is sometimes the only thing that keeps me grounded. So I hope you understand my unease when all I can smell is death and blood. It makes me snappy. Is that any excuse? No. And.....I'm sorry for that. It's been a long time since I was around people, and i've become blunt in my old age." It was extremely rare that Koun apologized for any of his actions. He didn't like to do it, it made him feel bad. But this was a moment he needed to do so. He needed Ludger to understand he wasn't being purposefully malicious in his words. The world had not been kind to either of them, and Koun just handled it a little differently

"I can't tell you that I'll magically be fixed, that i'll be able to handle things. But I do appreciate what you said. And let me be clear, we're helping each other out. This whole thing? It's mutually beneficial. Your brother gets a bit of a blessing, and I get out of that stuffy village. I'll get better at holding myself back with time, so thanks for putting up with me."

Koun didn't like sappy moments like this. They made him uncomfortable......so to display his desire to end the conversation, he reached over and popped another dumpling in his mouth, signalling he was done talking.

[books-and-catears]

Right everyone hold on to your feels, you will shortly be boarding Angst Express 101. Just look at this brilliant and angsty ask I'm speechless. Even the pairings you asked for are so unique and well thought this is a perfect angst concept. And I really hope I could do this justice. Thank you so much for this ask @saltypaperdestiny

So very sorry for the delay, this was the longest ask I've ever written and boy was I delighted. Though I have to admit I had to cry through some of them myself. This is PART 1. Rest of the brothers and the newly Dateables coming soon in part 2.

Who loved you first? Pt1

Lucifer : Simeon

It was time, he decided. After months of being in your presence, his prideful heart had melted enough to recognise his feelings for you. You were the only he'd truly humble down for, because the affection and care you displayed was unparalled.

"MC please get dressed in something nice. I'm taking you to Ristorante Six as a thank you for helping me with Cerebus and the council paperwork" He says to you, barely containing the excitement. He couldn't wait to see the look on your face when he confessed and how you'd blush when you kissed your knuckles and your cheek and wait - What is Simeon doing in your room at this hour?

He didn't want to interrupt, surely it might be nothing to bother about. He patiently waited outside until he heard what Simeon said.

Simeon: MC... You look beautiful, what's the occasion?

MC: Aw thank you Simeon. You're always so kind. It's nothing much, Lucifer is taking me out as a thank you.

Simeon: Oh do you have to leave right away...?

MC: Oh no no. It's okay I have some more time.

Simeon: Well I originally came here to invite you to try Luke's latest attempt at some new recipes but now there's something else I feel like I must tell you. *Blushes* Something I've been holding back for too long.

MC: *joking* Oh what have you been hiding from me, angel? Speak I beseech you!

Simeon: *laughing and then going solemn* MC... *Takes your hands in his* I love you. I love you with all my heart.

MC: ....me? You love..me? But I'm not nearly-

Simeon: You're the most beautiful soul I've ever met. You radiate kindness and forgiveness and everything pure, overcoming the seven biggest evils you reside with. How can I not love you? Tell me, MC, will you accept me as yours?

Lucifer had a half a mind to storm in and laugh in Simeon's face. What a failure this attempt was going to be. His pride grew inside him as he stifled a laugh. MC was his and only his and now he would take pleasure in watching Simeon learn that. Surely MC was going to turn him down nicely but still. He creeped closer to the door, looking through the open crack.

MC: *in tears* Oh Simeon, I love you too! I never thought an angel could ever love me back!

Simeon: *kisses her knuckles* So... It's a yes?!

MC: Yes yes yes! Oh of course it's a yes! *Hugs him tight* My guardian angel who protects me in the dark, oh how I love you.

Simeon: *laughing as he picks you up and spins you around* Oh how happy you've made me MC! I'm the happiest being alive!

MC: *kissing his cheek* So am I, Simeon. I love you with all my heart.

It took Lucifer all his strength to not collapse or go into a violent frenzy. He balled up his fists so tight, the gloves started tearing at the seams. He watched you smiling so gleefully in his arms, looking so radiant. When Simeon dipped his head down to kiss you, the moonlight poured in through the window as if blessing your union.

It was supposed to be him. If only he made it to your room sooner, it could have been him. Embracing all your beauty, being the cause of the shining smile. IT COULD HAVE BEEN HIM.

At his best

"Are you really that happy with him?" he asks you later that night. The blush on your cheeks and that cheeky smile says it all.

"Congratulations MC." You look so joyous even at the thought of Simeon, how could he ruin that?

His temper is worse, more unforgiving towards all his brothers. He has to bear with your absence in the house all day. The fact that he knows you're at Purgatory hall, sipping tea and arm in arm with him pains him to think.

You bring Simeon along to the council to help him too. He outright denies and asks both of you to leave.

He only ever feels calm to see you alone, but that is even rarer with his brothers around to hog his remaining time.

Eventually makes his peace with it, maybe you're better off with someone as pure as yourself than a demon like him.

At his worst

His wrath is back. It's almost bad enough to birth another Satan. His sense of entitlement is through the roof.

He snaps three weeks later when Simeon and you tell everyone about it and decide that you'll be moving to Purgatory hall soon. Everyone claps and rejoices while Lucifer, drunk off Demonus, crashes the fun.

"Simeon, you dirty cheat, pretending to be all pure with your white wings and devious smile. How dare you?!" He says in calm and deadly rage.

"Lucifer... what's wrong-" You approach him to ask. He looks at you and you see the little tears in the corners.

"MC WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE THAT NIGHT. MINE. NOT YOURS. THE ONLY BEING THAT CAME CLOSE ENOUGH TO STEAL MY HEART AND YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME."

Lucifer was louder now, hysterically angry, throwing his glass on the floor. "AND I KNOW THEY WOULD HAVE PICKED ME IF I GOT TO THEM FIRST! I LOVED THEM TOO DAMNIT." Simeon stood in front of you to protect you from Lucifer's rage. You hid your face in your hands, breaking down in sobs. What is happening? Where did you go wrong?

"Look at them, Lucifer. Look. At. What. You've. Done. And don't tell you've forgotten how many times you've threatened their lives before." Simeon said, holding you tight as you cried into his chest. "How dare you still feel like you deserve them?"

Lucifer sees you broken down, clutching onto Simeon for dear life, crying. You were smiling just a minute ago what has he done? Simeon blocked off his view with his pearly white wings. A reminder of what Lucifer used to be and cannot be again.

Mammon: Asmodeus

You were his human. And he was your first demon. No one was more territorial about you than him. So he finally made up his mind to seal the deal. No more lying about his feelings. He was going to claim you, once and for all. He imagined you smiling and running your hands through his hair and kissing him returning his feelings.

"MC! I brought the movie of the day!" He barged into your room excited, but you were nowhere to be found. Where could you have gone? It was your movie night with him. You were supposed to be waiting for him inside. He asked his brothers and they said you were with Asmo. He stomped his way up to Asmo's room and called out your name. No response. Not till he peeked inside the dark washroom. You were holding Asmo who looked very unstable and weak, sitting at the side of the bath.

MC: Asmo why don't you listen to me when I tell you not to drink so much!?

Asmo: I'm sorry MC *hic* I needed it today...

MC: Why? What's so scary that you don't have the confidence to do sober?

Asmo: MC do you think I look beautiful?

MC: Of course Asmo, you always do.

Asmo: Even with my runny make up, red nose and swollen eyes and this horrible complexion?

MC: *grabs his face* You're always beautiful to me MC.

Asmo: I...I stopped sleeping around MC. I couldn't do it anymore. *tearing up* Because to them, I'm only beautiful with a perfect covered up face.

MC: Asmo...they're blind and shallow demons who don't know anything! I know you, and I know how much more beautiful you are inside out. Don't listen to them.

Asmo feeling insecure about his appearance? What a big fat lie. Is this his new ploy to get to you? How irritating. It's not going to work, Mammon knows you're smarter than that. The Avatar of Lust can manipulate in many ways. Surely his human was smart enough to see through that!

Asmo: MC, I knew you were the one only who truly loved me. And today, I found the one I love too. Much more than I love myself. So I needed a drink to tell you this.

MC: Asmo...

Asmo: *holding your face gently* MC you saw past this pretty face. You saw the things I do more than what I am. Or what I pretend to be. I know it's hard to believe coming from the Avatar of Lust... But MC, I truly really love you. *looks down and sobs* But you probably can't believe me right?

MC: Asmo. Look at me. *You run your fingers through his hair and he looks up with teary eyes* I believe you. And I've loved you too. You're the only one who never hurt me. The one who willingly made a pact with me. You've been so sweet to me since I came. How could I love anyone else?

Asmo: MC I want you all to myself. Will you be mine? Only mine? I swear I'll keep you happy always!

MC: Of course Asmo. I'll all yours. I'm your little human. *giggling and kissing his head*

Asmo: *grabs and kisses you* MC, if you want, I can be your actual first tonight.

Mammon fell to his knees. He wanted to barge in and scream. He wanted to wrestle Asmo to the ground. He wanted to break his face for saying the words that were special to him and you. But your response had him paralysed. You...accepted him. You agreed to be his.

Silent tears streamed down his face as he watched you embracing Asmo, peppering kisses all over his face, running your hands through his hair, laughing and frolicking in the water with him. The colored moonlight through the stained glass danced on their skin like a scene from his favourite movie.

At his best

He cries to himself for days. Spends as much time outside as he can.

Maybe he is an idiot for thinking he had a chance with him. How could he compete with Asmo's charms.

Maybe it hurt more because Asmo didn't even have to use his charms.

Only ever tries to talk to you if he's sure your alone. One time he barged into your room and caught you and Asmo tangled up together and it broke him all over again.

He watched as you twirled around in a new outfit Asmo bought. He scoffs. He could have bought it for you too.

You both look so cheerful and in love, he decides to accept it. For the sake of his little brother and the human he loves.

At his worst

Breaks down and lets his emotions out in the worst way possible. Too desperate to win you back somehow.

Asmo and you were just telling Solomon and Simeon about your relationship when Mammon barged in through the doors of Purgatory halls.

"MC look! Look what I got you!" He came in all ragged. He knelt down and pulled out a ring. "Take me instead! I was your first wasn't I MC? Don't let him take my place please!"

"Mammon no... No please don't be this way...I'm sorry..." You kneel down next to him as he screams and sobs like a child. You feel guilty. You caused this. You lead him on. You fight your own tears as you keep apologising.

Asmo yanks you up and wraps his arms around you, staring down angrily at Mammon. "Mammon, leave."

Mammon lunged at Asmo. "I was going to tell them. That night was our movie night. You stole that night from me. YOU STOLE MY CHANCE AND MY MC!"

Asmo mocked at him with a sardonic laugh. "You still assume MC is yours without even telling them. You kept lying about your feelings and hurting them in the process. And yet, when they finally look happy, you come and make them cry. You are a scumbag Mammon."

Mammon looked at your tear stained face, nestled inside Asmo's arms and wings. He really felt like nothing but a scumbag.

Leviathan : Belphegor

Levi fell in love with you since your first act of kindness. As a shut-in whose only conversations were with his own eccentric and dismissive brothers, you were an angel who had brought him the gift of true companionship. Honestly he was okay being your best friend, until the day he started craving more. So he decided it was time to tell you.

'MC come to my room! I have a new game to show you!' It was a virtual dating game where he was going to confess digitally. You always loved his creative ways of doing simple stuff after all. He decided to play your favourite game while waiting for you. He even left the door ajar. Now he wished he didn't.

Belphie: MC do you have a minute?

MC: Yeah I was just heading to Levi's room what's up?

Belphie: I think I fallen in love with you, MC.

MC: .... Huh?

Levi almost burst out laughing hearing Belphie's confession. What kind of a bland confession is that? How can someone say that so easily? No that was definitely a joke on MC or something. Surely MC wouldn't take this seriously.

Belphie: I had a dream just now. About you.

MC: Uh huh?

Belphie: In that dream, we were up in the sky, among the stars. And you looked so pretty glittering along with them all. So I kissed you impulsively. And you kissed me back.

MC: ...that's a sweet dream. *blushes*

Belphie: *takes your hand* I woke up and my first thougt was I wish that was real. And then I realised it can be.

MC: ...

Belphie: I want to be able to kiss you always. I want to be able to take you far away. I want all your time. I love you MC. Be mine.

MC: Belphie I-

Belphie: I know, how can you possibly love your own murderer...? *Sighs* I cannot undo what I did. I'm sorry MC. I can only swear that I won't ever let that happen again.

MC: *smiles and cups his face* You were locked away for 3 millenia I can imagine your endless anger and grief for your sister. I forgave you long ago.

Belphie: So does that mean you'll accept me?

MC: You're already mine, silly. And now I'm yours. You're the only one I can relax with in the whole realm.

Belphie: MC... Come here. *holds you close and kisses you*

Levi's game screen displayed the message "GAME OVER: You lose". Levi couldn't see it clearly. His vision was blurred by the tears brimming on his eyes. You and Belphie looked to distant shadows on the moon.

He blamed himself for even thinking he had a chance with you. But maybe just...maybe if he had gotten there before? He stared at the screen and then at his spare console that he had declared yours. He picked up it, and locked it inside. Probably won't be needing it anytime soon.

At his best

He barely comes out of his room anymore. He tries to return your smile at breakfast but then returns hurriedly, leaving Beel to finish most of his food.

"Are you sure you want to play games? Wouldn't you rather go up to the attic" He mutters under his breath sometimes and then says it's nothing when you ask him.

Pains him when he sees you curled with Belphie in random places, dozing off. Might cover you with a blanket. Just you though.

Spites Belphie. A lot of people have said they look and act alike. But somehow you like sleeping more than anime and gaming?

Just accepts it as his fate. Atleast he's still your best friend, right?

At his worst

He's called the Avatar of Envy for a reason. He can barely hold it in seeing the both of you together constantly.

Belphie you and Beel were having a jolly time watching a movie and eating snacks while Belphie slept curled up in your lap. Levi happened to walk in while you were rubbing Belphie's head soothingly.

For some reason, Levi couldn't hold it in anymore. "UGH YOU FUCKING NORMIES!" he screamed out of frustration.

Belphie woke up drowsily when you stopped at stared at Levi holding back tears in the doorway. "Levi..what's wrong.." you call out to him.

He barges in and pushes Belphie off you and grabs your hands, tears falling and him screaming. "Why do you care, MC?! I'm a just disgusting shut in otaku right?! But guess what even as that I do more than just sleep and drool all fucking day! AND MORE IMPORTANTLY ATLEAST IM NOT THE ONE WHO KILLED YOU! So why him? WHY NOT ME MC?!"

"Levi...no..." You plead with him to calm down, tearing up yourself. You should have known. You should have known this would happen.

Belphie violently pushed Levi off you and grabbed him by the collar. "You were the first one to attack MC in this house. And I'm sure you would have killed them if not for Lucifer. So stop pretending you're better than me, you ridiculous creep. A shut in like you is worthless. The only thing you're good at is making MC distressed."

Levi looked at you trying to pull Belphie back, tears streaming down your face and hung his head low. It was simply an Otome game and MC didn't choose him.

Satan: Solomon

Satan took his time to fall. With late night studying session, every cat cafe date, every trip to the museum - he fell more and more each time. To the point where he wanted to spend every waking moment with you. And he was ready to tell you.

For a whole week, he kept writing and scrapping the perfect love letter for you. Then he realised you were someone who preferred simple honesty. "MC please wait for me in the library I'll be there shortly." He'd said before he dashed out to bring a boquet of your favourite flowers and a book which reminded him of you. He'd almost made it to the library, he saw you waiting inside for him eagerly. That was until someone flew in through the window.

Solomon? What's he doing at this hour? Satan peeked in through the half open library door. He wanted to be alone with you so he'd wait till Solomon was gone. He shouldn't have waited.

MC: Solomon! You scared me silly!

Solomon: *laughing* Your face just now MC...so adorable! Like a scared kitten!

MC: You wooshed in through the window!

Solomon: Okay okay my bad. Now what are you doing in the library so late at night. I went to your room and couldn't find you.

MC: Oh Satan called me out here. Told me to wait for him. Maybe there's a new book he wants to read.

Solomon: Do you guys do that often? Reading books this late?

MC: Haha yeah usually we just read in my room or his at night, in case we fall asleep.

Solomon: *sigh* So unfair.

MC: What's unfair?

Solomon: You and I are the only humans here. Why did they put us in different houses? Shouldn't we... be together more often?

MC: Well logically yes we should. Just classes and magic lessons aren't enough! You should live here too!

Solomon: I doubt Lucifer would be okay with that. But well.. here's the real reason I'm here now. *brings out a little basket*

MC: That's...that's a kitten! Hi baby! What's her name!?

Solomon: MC.

MC: Yeah what?

Solomon: No I named the kitten MC. This way I get to call your name as much as I want haha. The silly things us humans do for love, huh?

Satan had a sick feeling in his stomach. Watching you and him sitting in the moonlight, surrounded by books, cuddling a kitten and confessing...that should be him. Him not Solomon. He didn't like where this was heading. But just like you can't help but stare at disaster - he couldn't look away. What was MC going to say...?

MC: Solomon... *blushes*

Solomon: Does my affection scare you? *reaches for your hand*

MC: Of course not...I.. *gets closer and intertwining your fingers together*

Solomon: Is this your way of showing-

MC: *blushes* Yes. I love you too.

Solomon: I believe I've lived for a 1000 years just to hear those words. *kisses you against the bookshelves*

MC: I believe you've gotten 1000 years worth of romantic lines stored away in that head of yours. *Laughs and kisses him back*

Solomon: Let's take this to the moon shall we?

Satan watched as he took you and kitten in his arms and flew out the window. Satan rushed in not wanting to lose sight of you, dropping the flowers and books. Balling his fists, he choked on his angry tears as he watched you both laughing and kissing against the bright light of the moon. He felt like his own happy ending was stolen from him.

When you disappeared from view, he let out a blood curdling scream, pulling at his own hair and knocking over the bookshelf against which Solomon kissed you. The wrath inside him made him thrashing around in pain, burning him inside out. The flowers he dropped, lay there next to his sobbing body, wilting in his pain.

At his best

He manages to put on his best fake smile and go about his day. Tries hard to hide his annoyance if you bring him up.

But you seem so happy and you often invite him to new cat cafes and shelters. So despite Solomon's presence, he feels calm because of you and the cats.

Is secretly happy you get to spend more time with him than Solomon. Takes advantage of that and hogs you all to himself while in the house

While he can't hold or kiss you the way the Solomon does, you're here next to him, reading his recommended books. That's enough to soothe his yearning heart.

At his worst

The war for love is on. He doesn't care if Solomon already won. He will still declare his love no matter what.

It started out as subtle, he did what he knew Solomon couldn't. Cooking MC's favourite dishes whenever it was his turn to cook.

Tries to subtly reinforce his intelligence over Solomon when you're around. What's 1000 years of knowledge worth, Satan has been there since the first millenia ever

But the day Solomon and you announced you'll be moving to Purgatory Hall, he charged at him, his demon form angry and glowing. "How dare you think you can take them away from us? You think you can win against us... against me? You may have taken my chance with them but I won't let you take them away! They belong here with me!"

You inched closer to Satan's form. You'd never seem him this angry. "Satan please calm down-" Satan wasn't listening. He let out a feral growl and attacked Solomon.

Solomon held MC by his side and made a protection shield Satan couldn't get through. You started crying, watching his wrath take over, he must be in so much pain.

Solomon felt you curl up against him in fear and guilt. Gritting his teeth, he grabbed Satan by the scruff of his neck, like you'd do with a misbehaving cat.

"You say you want to protect them and yet look what you did instead." Solomon said. Satan looked helplessly at you, crying with your face buried in your hands. Glancing at his horns in the mirror, he called out to you sadly, "MC..."

Solomon creeped closer and said in a deadly low voice. "You love fairy tales right Satan? Well in the story of Beauty and the Beast, they could only be together because the beast was actually a human." And Satan was far from being a human.

Asmo : Mammon

It happened the day Asmo looked into the mirror and felt something missing. Suddenly his own reflection wasn't enough anymore. He pondered what it was when you happened to walk into his room and hug him from behind. And then he found the missing piece. You. He simply had to make sure you would become a part of him now.

Now contrary to popular belief, he did get nervous while thinking of proposing. This man is all about lust and a little kid when it comes to love. It's a whole new emotion and he's unsure how to deal with it. With some advice from Satan's romance books he lights your room up with candles, groomed himself perfectly, waiting for you to return to your room. Only you don't come. "What's taking MC so long?!"

He headed out and found you in Mammon's room instead. Asmo saw in the reflection off the mirror, Mammon's shirt off and him lying on his front as you poured ointment over his scars.

Mammon: Oi MC please don't be so upset...

MC: You didn't deserve this. You didn't. I did.

Mammon: MC, not again.

MC: You took my punishment. You took the blame for the broken vase for my sake.

Mammon: I didn't want ya getting hurt ya stupid human!

MC: Don't be calling me stupid and then go off doing stupid stuff yourself! *cries*

Mammon: MC...no don't cry. Please I'm sorry.

MC: Don't apologize for this! Mammon you're too kind... You keep taking blame for others, and the others just UGH.

Mammon: I've gotten used to Lucifer's punishments, MC! I'm more used to it than my brothers so I can take it!

MC: .... You're such a sweet big brother. You can't stop protecting the people you love, can you?

Mammon: *turns around to lie on his back* Now you get why I need to protect ya, don't ya?

Asmo's eyes flew open as did yours. Mammon just confessed to you. Albeit indirectly, but really did. But he felt pity for his older brother. Sure he was caring and sweet sometimes, but mostly he was a thief and a scumbag who constantly gets into trouble. He didn't stand a chance against Asmo's charms.

MC: Mammon... You silly demon. I love you too. *Lays their head on his chest*

Mammon: *blushes and coughs* Of course ya love the Great Mammon, human!

MC: *smiles against his skin* Swear to me, you won't ever do that again else I will fight Lucifer myself!

Mammon: *smiles* He's attacked ya thrice and yer face still loses its colour whenver he's around and yet yer thinking of fighting him for my sake, MC?

MC: OF COURSE!

Mammon: But I don't want that. Ya did too much for all of us when ya sacrificed your life to bring Belphie back. I should know, I held ya in my arms. *Tears up* Ya know ye were smiling still?? So calm and undisturbed as if ya didn't care what happens to ya now that all the brothers are together?

MC: You caught me...

Mammon: And I never want to catch ya like that again, get that human!? I will be a good protector as I was meant to be.

MC: Mammon... you're far too kind to be a demon. *Kisses him and gets on top of him*

Mammon: *grips their arms and holds them close* Stay with me tonight.

Asmo watched as you nodded and took off your top and lay down over him again, your skins in gentle and intimate contact and you both wrap your arms around and you presses kisses onto each other. The moonlight danced on your entangled bodies.

He stared and stared, his insides burning with an alien feeling. He hadn't known envy till you came along. His signature move would be to call both of you out and suggest a threesome, but what you both seemed to have was impenetrable. And in the mirror where he saw your reflections, he couldn't see himself.

At his best

This demon had never known love. He might have if Mammon hadn't decides to confess that very night.

But who cares? What's done is done. It's time to root for the both of you. He still has his followers to turn to.

"Mammon finally confessed huh?" He asked jokingly. Until he saw you blush and nod.

"You both must have fun together huh?" He says with a dry laugh.

Your hugs and headpats still keep him going. He takes you buy new dresses knowing it's to impress Mammon instead.

Tries so hard to conceal his tears and tantrums around you. He doesn't want to lose the small part of you that he had left.

At his worst

He cannot stay home. The sight of you both together makes him irritated and stressed both very bad for his skin.

He drinks and parties uncontrollably, bringing home demons and succubi that always seem to resemble you.

One night, Lucifer had enough and caught him by the collar, forbidding him to go to his room. Asmo giggled until Mammon and you showed up.

He swiftly escaped Lucifer's grasp and lunged at you, holding your face between his trembling hands. You look at him closely, his make up was messier than usual, the cresent underneath his eyes was darker than usual.

"MC...look at me. Look at only me. Just for a little while." Asmo said and his eyes glowed. He'd turned on his charm on full force as he leaned into you for a kiss.

Mammon pushed him back and stood before you protectively. Asmo fell back, laughing like a maniac. "Stupid Mammon they are with you out of pity! How long do you think you can make them stay with that stupid brain and sub par beauty?"

You teared up and screamed, "Asmo stop saying things like that! You dont even know anything about him!" Mammon hugged you tight, trying to calm you down.

And then in a lowly growl he said, "Asmo don't let me see ya laying a finger on MC again. Ya would see how people really see ya if you learnt to look away from your own reflection!"

But Asmo did. He did look away from his reflection. He looked at you. Only you didn't look back at him.

Keep reading Pt. 2