#and i know 30 isn't old
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Bucky: Today I realised I'm old
Buck: What happened?
Bucky: I fell on the runway and instead of laughing, Ken came running to see if I was ok
Buck:
Bucky: I saw fear in his eyes
#Ken was only 19 can you believe that 🥹#idk i just think it'd be funny if some of the guys learned that bucky once he came back from the stalag is actually bound to turn 30 soon#and i know 30 isn't old#but i suppose that for them it would seem old in the way that most of them were around 22-25#and bucky before he went down didn't act like more of an adult than them#also his boomer moment with rosie in ep4#anyway i need bucky to realise he isn't exactly part of the 'cool kids' and having an existential crisis about it#john egan#bucky egan#buck cleven#gale cleven#ken lemmons#mota#masters of the air#mota incorrect quotes
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hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.
if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.
additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.
i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."
"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.
#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!"#to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid''#like..... gets me#yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai#and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that.#you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time.#dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem.#these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly.#they arent meant to be fun and exciting.#OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off.#but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X#dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was.#i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill.#the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT.#like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU#for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...
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“white mourning.”
#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice#judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry#he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as#he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco#you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen#his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but#jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control#i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late#my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon#disco elysium#de fanart#jean vicquemare#disco elysium fanart#jean heron vicquemare#jean posting#illustration#de#artists on tumblr#I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings#my little maiu maiu#cryptiduni#my art
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n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.
#text#i think even younger ones that possess the same nasty traits can be slammed back 'In their place' (in his mind) by him just bc his -#- abilities and power alone (alt. name the factors that make him 'Cool') that dumbs them down insanely in comparison#maybe by this i mean like; ild*ri. despite the animosity she could still feel very foolish and is conscious of her wuss-ness#if that makes sense#cause no matter the disrespect anyone might have for an older capable person the reality is still reality#tbh i just think he doesn't like to sweat it much and still aims for the younger ones bc it's easier than it would be for someone that's -#- 30+ years old#and once he's proven his point he doesn't find any merit in sticking with older ones cause their interests or anything they offer -#- don't matter to or interest Him personally#i think an older demographic is just more boring to him and he would rather spend his time being metaphorically sucked off for his greats -#- by someone that already finds themselves 'lesser' than him and always will for a long time#than someone that is defiant of that fact#basically the more power imbalance the better#in his mind there will always be one unless he certainly knows someone is his equal (or better than him) but he likes the add-on of an -#- age difference too#keeps it in a safe zone with less problems for him#sorry for spitting again my brain just started machine-gunning thoughts for no reason#also i said before that he's an innocence fan. might not be a total puritan but there's something there#it's kinda like him not wanting to be with a dusty ''OLD'' person that's seen a lot anyway#i'm like barely able to hold myself back from opening my mouth to mention t*lvas where i'm making a point about n*loth's brain where he -#- isn't even needed to prove it#but like#him voicing dislike of n*loth general nauseating character and actions but still sucking up to him while n*loth can probably feel -#- that dislike anyway is cute to me i like to view it as an object being thrown into the wall over and over#where n*loth is proving his own worth to other people by drilling their brains out with proof. not that he needs to#but he would like that to be perfected a 100%#and t*lvas is capable of being molded into that state ....... probably#silusvesuisuis you didnot just confess to wanting to see t*lvas be slammed into a wall you fucked up demented beast you're sick#actually can't believe i forgot to mention this but he's literally so immature idk what he has anything in common with actual mature people
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This makes me very excited for a potential 5 star Ma.sked Fo.ol Sa.mpo
#prince's gaming tag#ok i took screenshots of someone else's gameplay bc i forgot to do it at the time#but i really wanted my desire to see a 5 star MF Sa.mpo unit in the future as a post so i can look back on it if they go through with it#bc the version we have of him rn is a 4 star and we have multiple versions of characters in the gacha already#like d.an he.ng and inb.ibitor lu.nae#so doing it again isn't out of nowhere#tho we'll probably not get it for a while. first were going to film school#also my guy you say youre an old timer but you dont seem that old to me#unless its one of those things where a character says theyre old but they're like. 30#i know your body can feel old but 30 is young dammit
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can we add poddpapang to guypepper? then I'll die the happiest old man in the world⚰
OH YOU KNOW GUYPEPPER IS GONNA BE RIGHT NEXT TO PODDPAPANG IN OUR GMMTV 2025 MANIFESTATION SESSIONS
THE WAY FOR THIS QUADRANGULATION OF UNDERRATED OLD MEN TO HAPPEN HAS ALREADY BEEN PAVED AND BY GOD WE WILL SELF ACTUALIZE THE REST OF IT INTO BEING THROUGH THE SHEER POWER OF CLOWNERY AND DELUSION
(i mean listen. i know that TECHNICALLY trinwave in hidden agenda and saifahname in dangerous romance didn’t actually really canonically happen BUT ALSO THEY DID IN MY HEART OKAY)
WE'RE GETTING PODDPAPANG AS A MAIN PAIRING AND GUYPEPPER AS A SIDE ONE FOR GMMTV 2025 AND THEN WE WILL GET PODDPEPPER NEXT YEAR AND AFTER THAT NOTHING CAN STOP THEM FROM GIVING US A BL WITH THE FOUR OF THEM ALL TOGETHER THIS IS THE REALITY WE'RE CREATING
#DID I SPEND WAY TOO MUCH TIME MAKING THAT SILLY DIAGRAM. MAYBE#BUT IM MAKING A POINT HERE#also just because everyone seems to be taking this very seriously. i know they're not old okay#like im older than all of them and pepper isn't even 30 yet i know they're young#im still gonna call them old men yaoi for reasons#ANYWAY THE MANIFESTATION PARTY STARTS AT MY HOUSE IN FIVE @ ANON PULL UP#papang phromphiriya#podd suphakorn#guy sivakorn#pepper phanuroj#m: ask
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AFTERMARE WEEK: Day 7- the end of a beginning/ the beginning of the end
make me believe and raise my hopes up one last time, then haunt my dreams for the rest of my life
aftermare week is hosted by @bluepallilworld
#art#illustration#my art#aftermare week 2023#aftermare week#nightmare#nightmare sans#fem!nightmare#this was actually the first piece i finished!! before the week even started cause i thought i was a literal month late ahhh hhh xD#geno isn't a ghost here night is just reminiscing about old memories :)#i have lots and lots of headcanons surrounding human!nightmare's corruption process but just so you know her appearance changes slightly#istg when i posted the grass wip i did NOT expect it to get 30+ notes like wow! i'm so glad you guys thought it looked good hhh :'D#hope it's not? underwhelming? i didn't expect to participate in all the prompts but this is the first!! week challenge i completed perfectl#last cryptic quote for the week wooo!! try to see how it's related to the prompts cause i'm curious to hear your interpretations >:D#i have a dentist appointment on the 17th so this is queued! i'll reblog everyone's art once i come back so don't worry >:'D#btw thank you so much for hosting this event blue!! the prompts were literally ALLL a 10 outta 10 just howww >:"0#i hope you're having an amazing day miss >:3 <3333
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Rate my francis fanart uwu
#francis mosses#that's not my neighbor#tnmn meme#note guys i know there are many cool francis fanartists out there#but please he isn't a manhwa twink#you did not come out of the womb drawing bl#so you can draw tired 30 year old men with hooked noses
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thinking about march and my oc, sandra, and their ages like
i hc march to be around 26? and sandra is 30 and im like do i age her down to maybe like 28 or something? and then my brain said "ryis and olric gets to tease him about going after older women" and i think i reached enlightenment y'all
#fields of mistria#fields of mistria march#fields of mistria farmer#listen i know 30 isn't really old but to some people i know the 2 and the 3 makes a difference akdbdnnaja#she's gonna make him work for it#gonna have to get through the trauma first but that's neither here nor there#:')#also he's only an inch taller than her#shorter if she wears heels#lissen i like the march is a short king hc but im weak and like the dynamic that he's just barely taller than her 5'9 ass#and she gets to tease him about it all the time#akshfkadjnas#atoltia rambles
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Y'know yeah I think Medic and Heavy are gay on purpose. I don't think it's a fanon thing. I think Valve intended them to be queer. Yeah
#Before I got into tf2 my tf2 friend said they didn't think it was intended because of the target audience of the game and I was#'Okay. Idk if I agree but I haven't played the game so whatever' but now that I've played the game. for almost 30 hours now.#I just straight up disagree. Those are the gayest old men in that function and valve knows it#The fandom has been in agreement for fucking years by the looks of it as well. This isn't like a gay fandom thing#TF2#team fortress 2#Red Oktoberfest#medicheavy#android.txt
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Ough the old man urge to hold someone close, pet their hair and tell them how good they are...
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this is my absolute worst take, and i know that, and you may cancel me if you wish in your heart of hearts, but i spend all of animal control going i haven't been spurned by society for my problematic jeff/annie love since 2009 just to watch joel mchale have a new love interest born in 199-frickin'-4!
#i get that people born in 1994 are - somehow - horrifyingly - 30 years old#and that's way better than an old-ass 30-something man falling in love w/ an 18 year old#(aka rochestering)#but like. it rankles okay.#it's a rankle for me.#even annie edison was born in 1990#dollsome's deep thoughts#anyway i know this isn't popular and i know it will happen but i don't want frank/victoria!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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nimona thoughts! still my top movie of the year so far!!
been thinking about how to frame my thoughts on this gem, and I ultimately arrived at a bit of a pretentious jumping-off point. but honestly, my favorite stories are always the ones that end up demoting the whats, the hows, and sometimes even the whos in service of the whys. it's the hardest question and context to tackle in any story, and it's worth interrogating the most in order to find any true meaning, any connection at all to what's told.
nimona shows exactly why walling yourself away from the "others" isn't good enough. it shows why you have to do the work and see them.
not just that it is dogmatically "the right thing to do". not just depicting what certain systemic injustices are, how they are deployed, and who they are targeted at. but the why. that simplest, purest shape of questioning an injustice dating back to your gentlest time as a child, when you were vulnerable, naive, and truly curious in the best possible faith. the question you would always ask was why.
you are picking up a sword to threaten the unknown. you've been told the whos and whats. you parse it thus. but you don't know the why. you are watching this happen on TV, contextualized, simplified, dramatized. you are connecting the dots. understanding the why.
nimona painstakingly drills down on that why. arduously, achingly digging past the institutions of fear fed by cycles of indoctrination and right down to the core of it. packaged in a simple-to-parse fantasy world built with deft, elegant metaphors and archetypes that immediately fall into place and make sense to a person of any age.
it is animation as a medium and fantasy as a genre both working in concert. a fun and colorful romp that ends on a gentle embrace of reassurance that tells children - both literal and the ones buried deep inside adults - that their first question to the world was always the correct one. because it was the kindest.
#nimona#text#I had such a rough time with the ending and how much it affected me. I knew what her goal would be the moment she headed for the town squar#even before the obvious visual connections. the film carries you alongside her internal state so well that it's almost a magic trick#but really it's just good a-b-c-s of dramatization. not a second is wasted on tertiary noise that's not serving the central metaphor#and you know kids are hyper-attuned to that. they lack the language to conceptualize effective storytelling#but storytelling isn't about peering behind the curtain. it's about receiving whatever is the result of it#and I know deep in my bones that this movie was a warm balm on the hearts of many little ones and that makes me so happy#I'm a 30 year-old adult and it damn near made me weep. anyway! not to promote netflix NOW of all times#but man what a good ass story. you can keep your barbied heimers
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ooooh. we got an apartment!!!
the house isn't completely finished yet so we can't move in until April. we'll have to figure that out. but that's fine. it's in the town where my husband works! which is amazing.
#I'm so relieved#it looks really nice. I wasn't at the viewing but I saw pictures.#it's a ground floor apartment which we wanted. it's near some shops. it's a 30 minute walk to his work#I'm just. ahh I'm so happy that we found something#the area looks good on google maps#we're signing the lease on Tuesday :) I'll get to see it then. so if it's horrible we won't take it obviously. but like I said it looks#nice and my husband said it's nice so#so we'll probably have to move back in with his parents for two months and have our stuff in storage#but that's okay#we'll also have to buy the kitchen appliances and everything. which isn't ideal. but it's fine#and everything will be new!! it'll all work! it won't be old and disgusting and awful!!#and there's definitely not an old lady who has lived there for 40 years and thinks she gets to decide how everyone else lives :')#and it's. kind of a new start. it's a 30 minute drive from here. not far at all but it feels very far to me (not in a bad way)#it's closer to a city too. not so close that it'd bother me but definitely nicer if we want to go there. which might be good I think#I'm tired of living in villages. everyone is so fucking close-minded and they know everything about you and. yeah no it's not for me. took a#while to realise that but. yeah. not doing that again. small towns are not that different but it IS definitely different#anyway guys I'm so relieved 😌😌😌#personal
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I'm having to rewrite a smut scene in vampire Johnny to better match the vibe of what's going on in the rest of the scene, so here is the cut snippet for those interested:
Because this bed is where Andy and I fucked. It's where we slept. It's where we hid out when the world was too much for us. The last time I saw him had been in this room. Steven's scent, his presence, all felt so out of place. Like a phantom in a faded old photograph.
“Steven -” I murmured, shutting my eyes. “I…I need to change the sheets first. If that's alright.”
Steven gave me a perplexed look then silently rolled himself off of me. I hurried out of the room and went to get fresh linens out of the closet down the hall. Once the sheets were changed, I took them down to the kitchen and put them in the wash so I'd not be bothered by the scent of them anymore. Though a part of me wanted to rip them right back out and keep them safely stowed away in my tomb.
I headed back up to Andy's room and found Steven sprawled on the bed with his hand on his stomach. His face was flushed, and his cock was straining up through his jeans, so I knew he'd been touching himself. Though I wasn't particularly surprised. He'd been randy since I woke up.
I sat myself on top of him and playfully wriggled my arse down until he started to moan. “Yeah? You need it? You need me to touch you?”
Steven let out a desperate sound, and I suddenly realised he was about to come. I wasn't sure how I knew that, exactly, but I figured it was something to do with the binding ritual. Arousal was as intense an emotion as fear was, after all.
I lifted myself up so he could breathe then started tugging my shirt off. The buttons kept slipping from my fingers so I yanked it over my head and onto the floor along with my undershirt. I rolled over onto my back to get my jeans off, but Steven pinned me and began to kiss along my shoulder. I wrapped my legs around him with a loud moan then tilted my head to the side so he could have better access to my neck.
The two small scars there, from where I was turned, were especially sensitive, and when Steven sank his teeth into them, I felt my eyes roll back. My cock let out a sudden jet of precome, and I frantically twisted myself up against him for more.
“Fuck -” A loud buzzing started up in my ears when he did it again, and I blindly tore at my jeans until they were out of the way. I tried to get a hand around my cock, but Steven knocked it away. “I gotta - I gotta come.”
Steven gave me a knowing look as he slid down between my thighs. He pressed his tongue right against my slit, and I couldn’t push him away. I couldn't do anything. My neck was burning. My stomach was tight. I was so fuckin’ close -
“Oh fuck! Fuck, fuck!”
Steven wrapped his mouth around me as I began to come, and in no time at all he started to go lax and loose. I shakily wiped up the mess dripping from his lips and sighed.
“I told you not to do that, didn't I?” I rumbled, my body still trembling. My cock hadn't gone soft yet, either, and I gave it a few slow pulls just to tease myself. “Just look at the state you're in.”
#Vampire johnny#I might come back and repurpose some of this but I'm trying to like#Preserve the giant chunks of writing I keep having to delete cause I change my mind every 30 seconds#I'm trying to better bridge werewolf Andys like#Disappearance to this particular smut scene since they're fucking in Andys old bed#But this isn't the way I want to go about it so I'm gonna try something else#And if I do end up using this well hey free preview#I do really desperately want to put all my half finished stuff on a03#I just don't know a good way to do it#Or like my first drafts or my wips i might come back to#There's just so much shit in my google docs you guys#So much#Oh and if you're wondering#Johnnys come is an aphrodisiac#Because I say so#marrissey fic ideas
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i don't make resolutions, but if i did
it would be to finish this fic
(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)
#i'm finishing it if it kills me#i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever#if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement#and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written#which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos.#but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum.#this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering.#happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship?#(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.)#but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you#not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish#and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened.#so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it.#kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature.#so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work)#anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping#to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy#and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished#come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers.#(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)
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