#and i kinda did! some parts turned out a little funky but eh it’s still nice

[codgod]

WOO YEAH RIPTIDE PIRATES YEAH

don’t worry about what point in the timeline these designs are i was just going with what i wanted to draw jhsvjd not rlly sticking to canon,,,

closeup/individual thingies under the cut \o/

kinda had to put them under the cut because they’re wildly different sizes and the cropping would be weird if i put them all next to each other LOL

[cherry-pop-elf]

My Roommate Is A Wiz With Animals

Newt x Muggle!Reader

SUM: You were returning home from work, when you stumbled across the strangest little animal. You couldn’t just abandon them. Even tho they are kinda funky. Animals deserve love and shelter, and that seems to win you quite the lost and found reward

Warnings: So much dang fluff, animal smuggling, Teddy shenanigans, Newt accidentally being really good at manipulation, reader is naive enough for plot purposes, MIGHT be a multi part series. Might…..Ok it will be shoosh

“Ugh I swear those shifts are getting longer and longer.” You would groan with your neck rolling around. Just trying to get your joints stretched. Was rather late in the evening. You had to cover for someone. Curse you for actually being a good human and helping someone out! Eh over time is over time at least.

You were still a bit nervous to head home so late. The sun was setting, and it casted the New York sky scrapers were casting such eerie shadows across the world. There was a beauty in it, but also it’s terrifying. Terrifying to be out late in the city night.

Had you picking up the pace.

As you tried to hurry home, before the street lights kicked on, you would hear the trash cans banging together. Made your heart stop, as you instinctively turned to look at the noise.

Didn’t seem like a person at least, so that gave you some calm. Still, could be a wild dog. Not that you hated dogs or anything, but street dogs are built to survive the streets for a reason.

You couldn’t help but stare, and wait, to see what would come out. Maybe it’s a kitten? A puppy? Ok now that you were cycling through the concept of a poor lost animal in the streets of the city that never sleeps had your heart ache.

Call you dumb, but you went to peak.

Was met with quite a surprise.

You weren’t entirely sure what you were looking at. It was some weird looking platypus mixed with a mole. Maybe it’s a sister species to platypi? It’s not unheard of that the rich and powerful have exotic animals. That there’s a black market for them. Maybe this poor baby escaped.

“You poor thing. New York and scraps isn’t meant for you.” You would Cooe at it, as the little creature looked up at you. Looking scared honestly. Would even reach its little arms out to you. How that made your heart explode from the utter cuteness.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you. Come here baby.” You would lift up the strange creature, and opened your jacket to tuck them closer to your chest. Help them warm up from the cold streets.

They would snuggle into your chest, as they felt a little safer. Grabbed at your top even. Didn’t want to end up back to the streets again. Like hell you would.

With a baby to take care of you made your quick walk into a proper jog. A rather good motivation to help you speed up on your way home. You had a tiny little thing to care for. One that needed a bath and some food. Shit, what would it eat? Maybe you’ll leave a variety of foods out and whatever they go for first could be what they like? You’ll worry about it later. Now was to get home.

Into the apartment complex you went, up the elevator, and you were home. Made sure all your locks on your door were clicked, and you would soon drop your things off.

“You poor thing. Let’s get you cleaned up, and feed you. How’s that sound?” You swore they were nodding at you. Seeming to comprehend what you were telling them very well. Maybe it’s an exotic pet thing? Or you are tired. Probably tired.

Into the bathroom you went. You ran a warm bath for them, and kept it shallow. Didn’t quite know what to do, so you just set them down in the warm water. Didn’t really have animal safe soap, so just water and a rag will do.

Have the cutest little noises at the gentle scrubs. Poor thing was filthy. Must have been on the streets for a while. Broke your heart. Such a brave little solider. Able to handle out there for as long as they did.

“Let’s dry you off and feed you.” You would lift the little thing up, and made sure they got nice and dry. Get all that grime off them. Certainly seemed alot happier now, so you guess you did a really good job.

Once you stepped out of the bathroom you heard knocking at your door. Who’s going to be contacting you this late? Let alone you in general? Had you cautious. You first found a strange animal, and now someone was knocking at your door? That didn’t equal good.

“Don’t make a noise. I’ll be right back.” You whispered, as you quickly took them to your room. Plopped right on your bed, and you closed the door.

You would wrap yourself in a bath robe, since you had changed into your sleep wear, and peeped through the peep hole.

The sight sure was strange.

There on the other side had to be the embodiment of sunshine. Had this curious attire of blue and browns, a suit case in one hand, and a stick in the other? Why does this fluffy haired guy have a stick with him? Maybe you just couldn’t see properly from the peep hole.

“Who’s at the door?!” You called, and you watched those big sparkling eyes light up. Excited that someone was home.

“Ah yes! Uh you don’t know me but you have something of mine! A sweet little thing. His name is Teddy! He’s mine. My Ni-Uh. Mine. Just mine!” He called back, as you were confused. How did he know you had something?

“One moment!” You figured you would see if he was right. You would quickly return to your bedroom, seeing the animal still on your bed, and called out.

“Come here Teddy-!”

And like that he was running right over you. Quick to jump into your arms.

Ok, maybe this guy had some truth. Still, you had questions.

You would return to the door, only to see that all the locks on the door were undone. Had you so horribly confused. There was a number of locks in a variety of styles there. No way you forgot to lock them all. Could you?

That’s when the door opened, and the man stepped in. The way Teddy seemed to squeak for the strangers attention. Hands reaching out like a toddler who wanted their mother. Was just so human. Seemed like Teddy really loved this stranger.

So, you didn’t refuse.

“OH TEDDY I WAS SO WORRIED-!” He sounded ready to sob, as he held Teddy close. Tears in the corner of his eyes as Teddy held the man’s face. Giving his cheek plenty of Nuzzles.

“You seem suspiciously clean for running around out there. Did you wash him? Did you take care of him-?” He spoke with such enthusiasm. Was like he might burst into confetti.

“Uh yeah. I just saw him hiding by some trash cans and I just couldn’t leave him behind. He wasn’t aggressive in the slightest either. Poor Teddy was cold, and just alone. I was actually about to try and feed him even.”

You were soon yanked into a rather tight hug. Felt like he might squeeze you lifeless. Teddy made sure to crawl over his daddy’s shoulder to avoid being crushed. Just snuggled away into his neck. Happy to be back.

“Oh you are truly a gift. Oh I don’t know how I can ever repay such kindness and warmth you’ve given him. Oh he’s my everything really. He gets into trouble often, sure, but he’s mine.” He explained, before finally letting you go. Little cheek kisses were given from Teddy, and the man would happily nuzzle into them. Was so clear that this wasn’t some poacher or animal smuggler. That made you feel better.

“So uh. Who are you exactly?”

That had his ears a soft pink, and a shy laugh left him.

“Oh blimey. Pardon me. The name is Newt. Newt Scamander. I’m Ma…I uh mean a Zoologist. I travel around the world studying animals, rescuing those that I can, and just loving nature. The pay isn’t that great but it’s worth it.” He would offer you a hand, and you would shake it in return. Telling him your name as well. And your own career.

“So kinda like a nomad. Does that mean you don’t have a place to stay?” You questioned, as he seemed to avoid your eyes for a moment. As if either to embarrassed to admit it, or trying to quickly come up with a lie.

“Well um. You see…I was currently trying to get a room for myself, but someone had to go running off. Can’t really blame him though. He adores shiny things. I should have been more careful. I know he has a weakness to things that shimmer and sparkle. It was all on me.” He would admit, as you had to respect that he was taking accountability.

“I mean. One night can’t hurt, right?” You couldn’t help it. This guy seemed to not be native here in the slightest. Said he’s a world traveler, sure, but it seems he’s not used to a concrete jungle. Wasn’t dressed for it, and sure didn’t seem like he was prepared at all. Did he really just only have that suit case with him? To travel the world? Something seemed….Off.

“Oh no no. You’ve already done so much. You’ve protected my baby. I can’t be asking you more-“ He tried to persuade you away, but your curiosity was to peaked. This guy was weird. Didn’t give any bad vibes kinda weird. Just….So peculiar.

“It’s one night really. You must have been hunting Teddy for hours. You didn’t get a chance to find a room, and it’s super late now. I can’t just throw you into the streets. One night. Just one.” You tried to logically explain, only to get another near back breaking hug.

“Oh I’ll never be able to repay your kindness. Oh your heart is so full. No wonder Teddy trusted you. Teddy has always been a brilliant judge of character. He knew you were a good person. No way would he let a stranger just hold him, let alone wash him. Oh thank you-!” You could feel the tears of relief in your shoulder, and all you could do was rub his back. Letting him breathe.

So that was how you ended up with a stranger living on your couch. Well, can’t say stranger given you knew his name now. Still! Most people would call you insane for doing such a thing.

Maybe you were.

But hey! Insane people have the most fun!

Besides, he’s pretty damn cute. Cute to see him snuggled into the couch, with Teddy under his arm, and his suitcase slid under the couch. Made sure to stay out of sight. You figured it was full of valuable paper work.

Did make you wonder though.

Where the hell did those pajamas he was wearing come from then? Did he just have them in that case and papers?

He was just full of to many questions to ignore.

He’s a stranger, but you just had to learn more.

Learn what made that man tick.

[has-brain-rot]

I FINISHED SEASON 2 OF VOLTRON

OKAY SO SO SO that was a WILD season and the showdown in the last 2 episodes? it was so dramatic and deserved. Really interesting to see the mages(?) get more screentime (though barely) because they are so funky. what are they doing why are they there. but anyways like last time I'lll put the rest below xD

BACK ABOUT THE MAGES. I don't remember their names but the head mage gives off "puppeteering-everything-from-the-background" vibes. I wouldn't be surprised if they turned out to be the real mastermind behind it all. Like if the magic was used to corrupt some minds and help build the empire. Although I don't know what that would do to the world building?

Shiro. WHERE DID SHIRO GO. Like they went HARD on Shiro this season. He's trying his best but life keeps attacking him. The mind battles he has are super cool and WOW this man can fight. but also Shiro do you ever sleep. does he sleep. does he believe in self care. I don't think he's ever heard of sleep before.

Pidge gives off some of the vibes of Haruhi from OHHC. They both have similar genders. Love how she gets time to shine at the tech planet!

Hunk being a master chef is cool, especially considering he's probably never seen any of those ingredients before. Still kinda disappointing that they made 3/4 of his personality food. I also think he'd be good at hugs lol

Keith my man are you okay?? I'm getting vibes of orphan club which like same xD. But also now that Shiro is gone Keith is probably going to have to take over? The red lion has shown to act independently so if Keith takes over the black lion then they could still form voltron? (the black lion has show to not care as mucha bout who's in it, at least compared to the red lion.

ALSO the red lion acting independently feels kind of like a parallel to hyper-vigilance. Keith doesn't feel safe often so his lion is always on guard and ready to protect, unlike a lot of people who generally don't have such a hyperactive "I must protect myself at all costs" mentality. It's the constantly engaged survival instincts you honour

Love how lance is just some guy. I am not invested in him and I feel like he would not be invested in me if we ever met xD. Love how he's just some guy while Shiro has gone through insurmountable psychological and physical trauma. he's just there.

THE MERMAID ADVENTURE WAS SUPER NEAT. LOVE HOW THE QUEEN DIDN'T TURN OUT TO BE BAD (maybe? it felt a little rushed when it got to that point). The suspense of figuring out what was causing the mind control was pretty neat. Also the giant worm beast was living it's life. technically wasn't decimating the mermaid population so.. (joking joking I just really liked its design)

Black lion trust battles are super cool. But I gotta say the black lion has like, reverse trust issues. please just stop trying to pick the genocidal dictator that keeps killing millions of people. please. Though it does make me wonder if part of the reason the black lion accepted Shiro so fast was because Shiro reminded the black lion of the previous paladin? With the arm and vibes and everything?

Coran is growing on me. he's just built like that and honestly good for him. He's like a space dad. Also emo Coran is great, might be a heavy stereotype but you know what we can ignore that and let him own it. Give him back that haircut. Also how he speaks sometimes makes me think that he's not from the same planet Allura is? Like maybe he's from a sister planet of a species that evolved extremely similar but not identical. Because he can't do everything Allura can. UNLESS Allura can do it because she's a princess whichhhh eh. It's cool for her but also tiring to see the whole "royal families are good and deserve their positions because they are inherently more special and valuable" sort of message.

ALLURA. QUEEN. SHE IS FLEXING HER POWER AND I SUPPORT HER ON THAT ENDEAVOUR. She was being mean to Keith but all things considering I can understand her hesitance considering everything. Stills sucks that Keith had to go through her projections. but also DAMN when she blends in to sneak onto the ship I loved seeing her fight. like her fighting style there was literally "what if I just slam everything together". I love that for her

also Keith being only half(?) human is really cool but WOW the team was not very understanding. Just let the guy be. He's trying his best but he also needs time to process and adapt. And I don't think he adapted too well if his first(ish) reaction to being part galra was to throw himself into enemy ships and nearly die AGAIN

red lion going feral is cool. Love how it has a stronger personality compared to the others, but it makes the other lions seem less powerful? not powerful perse but more so they get almost kidnapped a lot more and don't really do anything about it while the red lion will fight for its own freedom.

ANYWHO I should probably go watch the third season because I MUST know where Shiro went. is he okay <- judging by his character he is one of the MOST least okay characters.

[llamagoddessofficial]

Thank you @eldritch-and-tired for commissioning this lil’ /Reader piece of @megalommi‘s Sans, Baggs. I will ALWAYS be a simp for this sexyman. Enjoy!!

Tw: injections, unwilling hypnosis/mind control

...

You giggled.

The light was so pretty. Swirling, undulating, cyan and magenta warping and shifting in and out of one another in an endless hypnotising rhythm. It made you think of a funfair... spirals everywhere, from the tops of the stalls to the decorations on the rides, to the signs leading you around to those huge lollipops that tasted tooth-meltingly sweet. Happy memories, carefree, far away and non-solid but still wonderful. What were you doing? You couldn’t remember anything. You liked blue and purple, they were everywhere, all around you, such pretty colours. 

Pretty, pretty...

“... there we go. easy now.”

... You didn’t realise he was even there until he (somewhat cautiously?) spoke. Your senses were just colours. The voice was odd and a bit disembodied at first but slowly, slowly, you became aware of its source- a face hovering just over you. The awareness spread to your body, too... you were bent at an odd angle with your feet just barely lifted off the floor, your back flat on a rather uncomfortable table, gravity pulling your hair and cheeks. And he... he was just a few inches over you, pinning you by one of your wrists.

...

A tight and tense, cutting smile, clear signs of stress around his face and shoulders making it obvious that this was the smile of a man on the edge and not one of any particular joy. Deep sockets, so wide they looked borderline painful, glaring down at you with so much intensity...

... You could feel his body heat. And his breath against your face. Your heartbeat, your slightly itchy nose, how tight he was holding your wrist.

“... Mh... Huh?” You said, ever-so articulately, vision spinning in the same direction as the swirls emanating from his left socket. A similar way to how the world rocked when you were dizzy... except for you, it never righted itself. It just kept spinning and spinning and spinning. Everything was so bright, as you fell under a pleasant fuzzy sensation burrowed into your chest and mind, blanketing your thoughts as if you were just in the middle of a nice dream where nothing much mattered.

“shh...” 

When he gently closed his gloved fingers around something you had gripped in your pinned hand, you put up no fuss, loosening your hold and allowing him to take it... when did you pick up a scalpel? What an odd thing to have. The back of your head hurt and your knuckles felt the telltale aches of having been tense a few moments ago, even though they were now just an unwound coil like the rest of you.

... Dr. Baggs let out a long slow, breath. You could feel it against your nose and neck, he was that close... his mouth open barely a crack, the magenta hue of his tongue glinting against his fangs. 

“... alright.” He said, voice silky, gentle on your thrumming ears and head, sockets easing around the edges as he calmed down. The bluish shadows of sleep deprivation under them became more apparent as the tension in the room, face and posture waned. “that’s better.”

... Yeah. You thought, relaxed and calm. It is.

... He gave you the bare minimum of personal space, leaning back and helping you to sit, lifting you with the perfect combination of gentle but firm as if he knew you’d immediately feel so dizzy when you became upright. Your hands moved up and held onto his shoulders to steady yourself- the fabric of his lab coat was surprisingly soft, it was very nice to touch. 

... He was so close. Supportive but strict hands on your elbows, your knees on either side of him, he smelled like... the artificial flavouring they added candy that just wasn’t quite natural. And a specific, scented brand of antiseptic; clean and sterile and prepared.

“... well.” He hummed, reaching out of sight for something with one hand. Your forehead would bump his collarbone if you leant forward any more. His voice was so soothing and calming, especially since you were only a few inches from his clavicle... you were getting pretty close to shutting your eyes at this point, but a prick in your arm kept you from completely nodding off- you barely noticed it, too busy studying the aesthetically pleasing purple trim to his coat and enjoying the funny fuzzy sensation in your chest and temples. Oh, he suddenly had a full syringe in his hand that he was putting a cap on... where did he get that? 

“i knew from the start you’d be uncooperative, but... not that kind of uncooperative.”

He held something up to your face. You opened your mouth, (wait, why am I opening my mouth...) and he quickly placed it on your tongue. You swallowed, again, without knowing why... it was like your body was following a list of instructions that you couldn’t see or hear. Someone else had taken the wheel; tugging the right strings to make the right parts of you move when they were needed. 

... You didn’t think about it much. No panic, no confusion, no considering the implications. The thoughts were disconnected... just ships in the night, sailing by your muffled brain. All you could really think about was how whatever he’d given you was very strange and bitter and ew, you cringed, an odd acrid taste lingering in the back of your throat.

... Another prick in your arm. That’s weird, he keeps pricking me. Oh well. This time, you looked just in time to see him removing a now-empty syringe; he wiped where he’d poked your forearm with something very cold, then placed a little circular red band-aid over it.

...

There were six other band-aids on that forearm. Two green, three navy, one black... and now the red one.

Hm... I feel like I should be alarmed by that...

Again, all you could think about was how nice you felt right now. Dizzy, warm, safe. Like you’d had a little too much to drink, but now you were laying out in the sun with your friends... I miss the sun...

“most of my ‘patients’ are at least... consistent.” Baggs hummed, continuining to hold you carefully by the elbows, predicting your post-jab swaying. He didn’t seem to realise he was talking aloud, just a scientist observing his experiment, and you weren’t really paying enough attention to what he was actually saying- too many words to process, boooring. “uncooperative awake, uncooperative under. you’re always displaying aggression toward me... and yet as soon as you have no control, there’s an obediency so immediate it’s borderline subconscious. rather fascinating.”

Instead, you...

“... Sexy voice.”

...

...

“... what?” 

Apparently, that was enough to finally break him out of his thoughts. You glanced up at Baggs’ face, still only a few inches away, you kept forgetting where things were around you... the cushion around your soul never wavered but for a moment there was a little blip in the swirls. A slight interruption.

“Mmmhm.”

...

... His expression sort of... well, ‘melted’ was the wrong word. It was more akin to the sun peeking out from between two clouds. The detached, observational, scientific air to him thinned and began to evaporate... revealing something a little more warm.

The razor and unfriendly edges of his smile were rounding into something organic. Perhaps even, daresay, resembling forward. 

“my.” He purred. “how forward of you.”

“S’very nice. Very smooth...” Your tongue felt... eh. And your arm, where he’d poked you, was starting to itch. “And you have a nice face too... handsome man. I think so.”

...

His smile started growing even more, and he leaned back an inch or two as if to look at all of you and make sure you were really the same person he’d brought into this examination room less than an hour ago. “... oh really?”

“Yeah...” ... Your hands had been just holding onto his coat... but, spurred on by your sudden drunken confidence, you properly looped them around his neck.

... He blinked, but he only let himself appear taken aback for a moment or two. Despite how ominously his magenta eyelights glowed in his dark, shadowed sockets... you could tell he was enjoying himself, and this sudden turn of events. “i’m flattered.”

You laid your head on his chest. It was getting kinda hard to stay upright. 

... Your nose scrunched.

“Funky smell, though.”

That was enough to get an actual laugh out of him- albeit shortlived, his skull cocking like a curious mirthful bird. “are you... genuinely telling me that i smell, darling?”

“Yeah. Because it’s true. You’re gremlin.”

 “i’m... gremlin?”

“Mhm.”

“stars. i wish i could tell pap about this.”

Your body shifted, enough to make you lightly squeak- things were spinning so much that it took you a minute to realise Baggs had picked you up, an arm hooked under your legs and another around your back.

“you’re all done for the day, pet.” His eyelights had become a thrumming, almost amethyst colour as he looked at you, a far gentler shade of purple than his previous headache-inducing magenta. You weren’t sure what’d caused that but you weren’t complaining. You weren’t sure what’d caused him to carry you either, considering he usually just brought someone to collect his ‘patients’ for him... but, again, not complaining. “it’s time to get back to your room.”

“I feel funny.” You mumbled.

“that’s normal.”

He started walking. The halls all looked the same, as he moved through them, blending into one another... white and sterile, a few doors dotted inbetween if you were lucky but mostly just the exact same tiles and patterns and lack of anything that would clue you into the fact that people had actually (at some point) existed in this area. 

“Hm... is this where you work...?”

A little chuckle. He was sounding further and further away. “yes. this is my job, dear.”

“It’s so g... ug-ly.”

“oh? you think so?” Baggs’ tone had become... light? Perhaps a little teasing. 

“Jus... put up some nice posters, or something.” Your head was so heavy. Since when was it this heavy? You had to rest it against his chest, feeling that nice fabric against your cheek, hearing an equally nice humming sound from inside his ribcage. “Paint the walls. It’s so... white. Clini... ...clinicic... Calic...” 

“clinical?”

“... Yeah.Tthat.”

A gloved phalange touched your arm. It was probably an attempt at a comforting gesture- stroking the skin. “good to know. i’ll make sure to pass that eloquent advice along to the decorating team.”

“Good.”

He brought you to a cell-like room. It was... vaguely familiar? A bed with one pillow, thin white sheets... some strange posters and a window with bars over it. You felt like you’d spent a long time in there, but it was impossible to think straight enough to actually muster up any memories.

Baggs laid you down on the bed, slowly, handling you like you’d fall apart at any moment. You made a little noise- it wasn’t a very soft bed... but it was good enough. And your body felt so strange and tired that any soft surface honestly was nice enough to lay down on forever.

“comfy?” He asked. Since when did he inquire if you were comfy?

“M... no. S’whatever.”

...

You peeked at him, crouched by your bed... and you reached out, pressing your inexplicably heavy finger against the top of his nasal cavity in a booping motion. You mumbled a little victorious “Silly skeleton.” 

...

He took your hand in his gloved one, gently, before it could go limp and flop down. You couldn’t really make out his expression at this point.

“don’t tell the other subjects...” He murmured... he sounded amused, at least. “but i think you’ve become my favourite.”

“Course.” You shut your eyes. “I’m... m’amazing.”

“... yes. course.” 

A feeling, like a kiss on your hand, before he placed it by your side.

“... go to sleep.”

...

And just like that, your body obeyed him before your head could even process what he’d said, and you were asleep.

[cayofdreams]

Vengeance = Repentance

PART 1: VENGEANCE

Summary: Reader had bullied Todoroki throughout all his time in high school. Years later, after a reconnection during an after-work drinking session, she goes back to his place, naively unaware of the payback he has planned for her…

Words: 4.1k

Rating: Explicit, Smut (in part 2)

Warnings: bullying by reader in beginning, murderous thoughts by Todoroki, Dark!Todoroki, drugging

(no smut in the first part, just immense build-up)

Notes: I could not for the life of me think of an interesting Todo fic to write. Until...THIS baby popped into my mind. It was actually really challenging and fun to write what goes on in the mind of Dark!Todoroki. I hope I did it justice.

~~~

He hated you.

Sometimes the only reason he had for living was simply to see the day that you’d be six feet under a cold batch of dirt. You’d be all alone down there with no one to control. No one to manipulate. No one to blackmail or threaten.

You’d have no lackey to run around and get you sweet bread from the convenience store. No lookout to make sure any teachers came to catch the abominable acts you committed in the bathroom stall or behind the gymnasium. No rich father to make sure that whatever horrible deeds you committed that were reported were swept gracefully under a rug.

And most importantly, you wouldn’t have him. The target of all your psychological and physical abuse. The one person who constantly fulfilled your insatiably engorged sadistic ego.

“Heyyy~ Shou, can you come here for a sec?” You had called out to your bi-colored haired classmate from the threshold of the class’ door. The twitch in his shoulders in reaction to your voice made you chuckle. Todoroki slowly slid his chair back, making a scratching noise against the tiled floor, and got up. He walked up towards you with his eyes trailing the floor.

“Yes?”

“Ohh! So obedient today, aren’t we? Hehe- It was only a matter of time I suppose.” You smiled your disgustingly innocent smile at him. “I need you to check something for me. It’s important, okay?”

He stayed silent as he watched you move the hand that was behind your back out forward. You had a carton of milk in your hand, and it seemed to have already been open. He saw you put the carton to your nose and sniff harshly from where the opening was before shoving the carton into his chest. A bit of milk spilled out and dripped onto his uniform.

“This milk. It smells kinda funky. I want you to check it for me.”

“…If it smells funny then it’s probably-“

“Did I ask for your cheap opinion? Just do the favor, alright?” You frustratingly squeezed the carton in your hand which made even more milk spurt out and land on your hand as well as Todoroki’s uniform again. “Ugh! Shit! Look what you made me do! From being so obstinate.”

“Sorry…” He took the carton from your hand. It was practically half full now so he wondered why you even still cared so much. But he didn’t ask. He put the carton to his nose and sniffed to try and find a rotten smell to it. “I don’t smell anything.”

“Are you stupid? Not like that, idiot. You’ll never know if its bad if you check like that.” You quickly took the milk from him and raised it in the air. “You have to check like this~” You began to slowly pour the rest of the carton’s contents onto his head, completely soaking his silky hair and ruining his uniform even more. The milk drenched into his shirt and he could feel its cool wetness trickle his skin. “Ahaha! Weeell?? Is it bad or not, Shouutoo??”

There was a loud commotion of hoots and hollers from the other classmates as they watched your tormenting of Todoroki.

“Uwaah!! Milk boy got dunked on again!!”

“Gross! He’s gonna smell so bad later…”

“Dude! Go wash up! You’re gonna make the whole class smell like milk!”

“Krrgh..” Todoroki choked up in frustration, his hands balled into a fist. The fact he couldn’t just punch you right now could drive him to a point of enraged insanity.

The fact he had to let you get away with this over and over again just because of your father’s notorious connections with various government and business groups. He sometimes thought about just killing you anyway and dealing with the consequences. Prison would be more manageable than continuing to live in this same physical plane as you.

He thought about how he’d do it, too. If he would try to do it inconspicuously with poison, or conspicuously with his hands wrapped around your slender little throat. The former lead to more chances of him getting away with it. He could have the pleasure of your death along with his freedom. But the latter…the latter was just too enticing to pass up. Being able to hear your gargled whimpers attempting to beg for your life. Your legs that would try to kick and pry him off your weak body. Your face losing its color as your body is abruptly deprived of oxygen. And finally, his personal favorite, your bloodshot eyes that would be pleading for him to give you mercy before finally greying out.

Yes…the latter would have to do. Time in prison would be a beautiful cost to pay to see you perish under his fingers. The world would thank him later, for getting rid of their waste. Your death would serve as your repentance

But he was weak. Scared. He couldn’t find the conviction he needed to actually go through with it. It made him feel even worse. Maybe you were never wrong, and he was truly as spineless as you treated him.

But he’d get stronger. He had to. He needed to. He craved to.

-------------------------9 YEARS LATER-------------------------

“Good job on closing the deal, Todo!”

Todoroki had felt a harsh pat on his back before a heavy arm was slung over his shoulder by his spikey red haired coworker as he was grabbing his blazer off the chair.

“It was nothing, Kirishima.” He replied coolly but not without a small twinge of a smile.

“Ha! ‘It was nothing’ he says!” The energetic man turned his head around to face everyone else in the office. “Hey! Everyone! Pay attention to this guy right here! You might become the most successful businessman this country has to offer!”

The office chuckled and gave soft cheers for Todoroki, some of them poking fun at Kirishima’s exuberant display of comradery.

“Todo! Kiri! You guys are coming out for drinks, right!” Another one of Todoroki’s energetic co-workers, this time with bright yellow hair, briskly jogged up towards them. “I already invited the ladies!”

“Totally, dude! Where are we supposed to be going?”

“Heights Alliance! That bar has the best drinks and food a guy could ask for. Not to mention cute girls!

Todoroki softly brushed off the arm of Kirishima before putting his jacket on. “I think I’ll pass.”

“Aw! Come on dude!” This time, the yellow-haired co-worker placing his arm around Todoroki’s shoulder. “You alllways bail on us! Come with us this time! Drinks on Kiri!”

“Hey, Kaminari! Don’t decide that for yourself!” Kirishima retorted. “But yeah, man. You should come out. We miss you sometimes, dude.”

Todoroki hesitated as he contemplated his fellow workers’ requests. Honestly, he had never gone out to just...have fun. He would clog his mind with work which was probably why he was successful anyways. He didn’t even know why he was so disciplined when it came to his career. Not knowing what his goals even were. Focusing primarily on work, but for what? To just deny any moments of pleasure or belonging?

Maybe it was time for a change.

“…Alright.”

“Wooo!!! Todo is officially on board!”

The loudness of the cheers of his coworkers rang stingingly through his eardrums but he couldn’t suppress the smile that stemmed on his face.

As he had the feeling tonight would be an unforgettable night.

-------------------------------------------------

Todoroki sighed as he sipped the last of his drink and placed it softly on the counter in front of him. He sat alone as he thought about what he was even doing there. The entire evening basically constituting to watching his co-workers ramble on about various subjects that he could not get the meaning behind. After a while of heavy drinking, that he did not participate in, everyone either went bar-hopping or went home passed out in a taxi. He truly did not understand the purpose of such gatherings and he started to wonder how he’d even fit into society.  

As he thought to himself, the sudden words from the bartender disrupted his thoughts.

“Oh hey, Y/N. Long time, no see.”

The abrupt sound of your name made him widen his eyes and his body unconsciously jolt in the barstool. Was it really the same Y/N? No, it couldn’t be. Surely there were a bountiful amount of people with names that were similar to yours. But he had to check for himself, so he looked up from his empty glass and-

“Haha…Shinsou. Looking as gorgeously sleepy as ever. How are you?”

The sounds of your conversation with the bartender drowned out with the rest of the bustled atmosphere as he glared upon you. Without a doubt, it was you. He could never forget that figure. That figure that towered over him menacingly even though he was taller than you. That figure that just watched from a distance as you sent your delinquent underlings to pummel him into the cold cement. That figure who would bow respectfully to teachers when they dismissed any reports of your lechery. And now that same figure was only a few feet away from him, sitting gracefully at the bar counter as you talked to the unknowing bartender.

His glare locked long enough onto your figure for you to finally meet his eyes. And before he could look away, you had called out to him.

“Eh..? To…Todoroki?” You had softly called out to him. Using his name in a way that he had never heard from you before. Using a voice that harshly contradicted the patronizing tone you barked commands at him with. “It’s really you, isn’t it?”. You were smiling at him. Smiling at him as if he were a longtime friend that you missed connections with due to one of you going abroad.

You had hopped out of the barstool and approached your old classmate, taking a new seat beside him. He looked over at the wall of drinks displayed in front him, avoiding your gazing. “Wow…you’re all grown up now, huh?” You looked over to the bartender raising your hand at him. “Shinsou~ A refill on whatever he had, okay? Make it two actually.” The bartender simply nodded at you before mixing up various alcohol and flavors behind the counter.

“I..I don’t want to drink.” Todoroki shivered at his own statement as he was reminded of the times you’d scream at him for not doing something you’d ask.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous. It’s on me, okay? Don’t worry about it.” You had inched your head more over the counter trying to get a better look at him. “Your hair…I always thought it was dyed. But I guess its real, huh.” You reached your hand out to run your fingertips through his silky bi-colored bangs. He twitched at your touch.

What exactly were you doing? Acting so innocent with him like this. Were you just going to pretend like the three-year long trauma you subjected him to was a fable? An illusion? Or perhaps you had minimized the damage you’d done in your mind in order to preserve your own sanity as you took over a new life.

“...Y/N. What are you doing?”

You quirked your eyebrows in confusion at his question. “What do you mean? I just…I just think your hair is really pretty is all.”

Were you faking it? Was this another one of your atrocious jokes? Perhaps within the next minute you’d start cackling at him, asking him how he could be stupid enough to believe he deserved such niceties from the likes of you.

Todoroki looked down and squeezed the empty glass on the counter. “Don’t you…don’t you remember? What you did to me?”

“Todoroki…” You lowered your eyebrows in sorrow. “I-I’m sorry for what I did to you back then. I was indeed…a cruel person. I know you probably won’t accept that…but I still want to tell you. You at least deserve my apology. As cheap as it is.”

He looked over to you, surprised at your apologetic tone. He gazed into your e/c eyes. The very e/c eyes that captured the hearts of everyone around you, yet seethed supremacy and calamity toward him. He had learned to distrust anyone with eyes that resembled yours. The eyes that were now looking at him with…

Remorse. Your eyes were burdening in remorse. As soon as Todoroki saw the guilt that dwelled in your eyes he knew that this wasn’t a joke. That you weren’t pretending to feel these things. The look in your eyes unquestionably conveyed the apology you had stated earlier.

And it was that same look that would ascend an unusual beast that lurked within the visceral regions of his body. An unfamiliar thirst that stayed submerged within him, never needing to be satisfied until now. It gurgled within the depths of his gut, practically wanting to vomit out of his esophagus.

A beast that went by the name of revenge. And it would be so easy to pursue it right now with the plague of repentance beating in your heart.

Todoroki placed one of his hands on yours and squeezed tightly. Your skin was so soft, so smooth. He could never take the time to feel how delicate your skin was when the only touch of yours he knew before was the stinging slaps you’d deliver on his face. But tonight, he’d be able to feel something more, and the touch of his hands on yours only made the beast inside of him grow more and more unruly.

“I forgive you, Y/N.” He tried to state it in the softest way possible, making sure the feigning of the line wouldn’t be discovered. However, he knew you believed him by the twinkle in your eye, signifying an immense weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

“Todoroki…” A warm tear dropped from your cheek to his hand. “Thank you, Todoroki… thank you.” More tears would soon follow and drop onto his hand. He would’ve let go of you if he wasn’t so encapsulated by the feeling of your salty waters dropping onto his skin. As your tears cooled and dried up into his hand, he couldn’t have felt more enthused.

It was only then that Todoroki could take in the beauty that was your face. You looked so elegant like that, with pools of emotions trailing down your cheeks. Maybe if he’d seen this site of you in high school he’d had instantly fell in love. But such feelings didn’t reside in him anymore. They’d been evicted by the lurking beast of revenge, and that beast was craving more of this site from you.

“Two Vieux Carre cocktails” The bartender had placed the drinks on the counter in front of each of you before grabbing something under the counter. “…and a tissue”. He handed the soft fabric to you which made you giggle a bit.

“Thank you, Shinsou.”

He simply hummed a reply at you and returned to making drinks for other patrons that had walked in.

While you wiped away the allure that was your tears, Todoroki sat there, thinking of prolific strategies of how to get you under his grip. Should he just ask you to come home with him? Wouldn’t that be too straight forward? He didn’t know much about social interactions, but he knew asking a woman at a bar to come home with him had its underlying implications. And its not that he was undesired by women; he knew of the colleagues in his office that held romantic feelings for him. He just never followed through with any of them, never feeling anything close to the desires that were brought for him.

He also couldn’t help but feel subconscious about asking you to come home with him. You were the person that so incredibly ridiculed him for three years. You were still the same person who made him believe that no sane person would ever look twice at him. That he was too weak and monotonous to ever make someone feel happy.

Or were you? It seemed that whatever life change you went through caused you to redevelop your entire personality. Maybe you’d be like most the women he encountered in his life and become attracted to him? After-all, he also wasn’t the same person as he was in high school. He’d become stronger mentally and physically as well as much more confident about himself.

“Y/N, would you like to…finish drinking at my home?”

You stopped drying your tears at the suddenness of the question. “Huh?...You actually want me in your home?”

“Only if you want to.” Todoroki squeezed your hand again attempting to signal the desire to have you with him in private.

Blood rose to your nose and you looked away in embarrassment. “…Okay.”

Todoroki couldn’t stop the widening of his eyes at your acceptance. A part of him truly believed you’d call him disgusting before jumping up and delivering one of your characteristic slaps to his face. The heavens knew just how badly that needed to happen. If you’d rejected him, the beast of revenge may have gone right back to where it resided, deep in the subconscious of his mind.

But no, you’d accepted him. And with that, you’d accept your punishment. If you were truly ready to take on a new life, you would need to repent for your old one.

------------------------------------------------------------

Todoroki couldn’t stop the erratic beating of his heart as the two of you walked over the threshold into his house. He was closer and closer to fulfilling the dream of having you within his grips. But he couldn’t be too impatient as this would be the part where he would need to tread carefully. As the two of you took off your shoes, he would continue to watch your every move, like a jaguar stalking its prey.

“Woww!” Your eyes wandered around Todoroki’s living room, amazed at how expansive and beautifully designed it was. “Your house is so luxurious! And polished!” You looked back at Todoroki. “It suits you.”

Todoroki was a bit taken aback by your statement. As far as he knew, you had a rich father who catered to everything your callous heart desired. He was partly the reason behind his suffering seeing as that your father made sure any unpleasantry brought against you was hushed behind a closed door. “You aren’t used to this?” He stepped over to the mini-bar area and reached up to grab a specific bottle of wine.

“Huh?” You followed behind him and leaned against the bar counter, grazing your finger over the refined marble surface.  

“This…kind of house. You aren’t used to it?” He grabbed a corkscrew from the drawer and began to pry off the wine bottle’s cork. “Your father was a rich businessman was he not?”

You scoffed as you rested your elbow on the marble. “My father was in the yakuza. Rich in some aspects, but no businessman.” Your eyes fell from Todoroki to the counter. “And we never got to live in a place anywhere this grand. Especially after he was taken down by the cops…”

“I see.” It made perfect sense honestly. Your yakuza connections would explain the lackeys, the apathy of the teachers towards your lechery, the strange approval of your actions by the entire class. It must’ve been hard behind the scenes having to be the daughter of a yakuza member, but nonetheless it wouldn’t your crimes against his humanity. Todoroki poured two glasses of wine and placed one on the counter next to you.

“Should we…sit on the couch?” You looked towards to main part of the living room, eyes landing on Todoroki’s expensive sectional. “I-I mean…if you want to…”

Todoroki noticed the flustering of your face and couldn’t help but think that if the two of you had met under different pretexts he would surely have made you his wife. But marriage is not what this affair is about. This affair is about satisfying the demon that grew expansively inside of him.

He grabbed your hand and intertwined his fingers between yours as he picked up both glasses with his other hand. “I’d love to, Y/N”.

He walked the two of you over to the couch, waiting until you sat down to hand you your glass and sit closely beside you. He carefully watched as you took sips from the glass, mesmerized by the shape of lips and how you’d glossed them for your night out. They looked so soft and delicate and perfectly matched the dimensions of your face.

But your naivety obviously outmatched your beauty Todoroki thought. How could you so easily drink from the hands of someone who would so obviously want to get revenge on you? Did your newfound personality make you oblivious to the dangers of life? Maybe after wanting to permanently discard the remains of the yakuza from your brain, you decided to look at people in a new light. Maybe you wanted to just see the good in everyone and learn that most people aren’t out to destroy you. It is indeed a true thought; most people don’t want to destroy you.

But most people also don’t subject those around them to abhorrent acts of malice. And for that, your naivety would prove to be one of the worst decisions you’d made in your small existence.

“Your wine…it tastes very good.” You had swirled what left of it you had before drinking it all within a couple more gulps.

Probably the best compliment you could have said in your life. Todoroki had taken the time to make sure every speckle of power was completely dissolved into the wine. He couldn’t taste it himself or get a taste tester of course, so he would have just had to wait until your ultimate encountering to test it. And it worked.

“It was a gift from a friend abroad.” A lie. But a believable lie. “I’m glad you like it.”

You quizzingly looked at his still full glass of wine in his hand. “Why didn’t you drink any?”

“Oh...I- well I guess I am already a bit tipsy from the bar so further consumption would be ill-advised.” He smoothy stated before placing the glass on the coffee table in front of the couch.

You giggled at the statement as Todoroki internally cackled at your gullibility.

“You know, Todoroki…” Your eyes strayed to your lap. “I know this must mean nothing coming from me but…I liked you a lot in high school.” You twirled your index finger in circles on your skirt. “And I know I was mean to you but…I believe that our encounter must have been fate because, well…I still like you.”

Todoroki smiled, a cover-up for the guttural laughter that wanted to burst out of him. He let go of your hand and traced his fingers across your cheek before holding the side of your face delicately in his hand. “That…means more than you’d ever know, Y/N.”

“Shouto…”

He leaned over to give you a peck on the cheek before pressing his lips against yours. Your lips were just as soft as they looked and the gloss you wore provided a sweet vanilla taste. You sunk your hand into the red side of his hair before slipping your tongue in between his lips. Your tongue felt hot in his mouth and Todoroki grabbed your head to pull you deeper into the kiss. He tasted every part of your mouth that he could with his tongue. Your teeth, your gums, the inside of your cheeks. He made sure to leave his mark everywhere in your mouth, foreboding to the marks that would soon be left on your body.

As his kiss got deeper, yours became shallower and lazier. Eventually you pressed your hand against his chest to softly get him to back up.

“I’m sorry, Shouto…” You pressed your hand to your forehead. “It seems…I have a headache…and I’m kinda sleepy.” Your eyelids drooped heavily as sleep seemed to overcome you. “I…should go home.”

Shouto grabbed your head and leaned you down on the couch, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Ssshh…its okay Y/N. You can just sleep here for tonight. I’ll drive you back in the morning.”

“Okay…thankyou, Shouto.” You quickly drifted off to sleep at the finish of your sentence.

When Todoroki felt the heaves of your chest raise higher and lower at deeper levels, he picked you up into his arms, carrying you gently to make sure you wouldn’t wake up. Though that was a rare chance seeing as how he put a little extra power in the wine to make sure it would subdue you. He carried you down the corridor to the door that would lead to your demise. Before he walked down the stairs, he whispered into your non-listening ear.

“This encounter is indeed special, Y/N. But it will be more special to you than it will for me…because tonight will mark my vengeance. And tonight will also mark…your repentance.”

[undertalethingems]

Bark at the Moon, Chapter 2: Reconnections, Recollections

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Rating, Setting: Gen, Pre-canon

Chapter Warnings: None

Chapter Summary: Sans is at a loss for what to do. He's lucky his brother isn't the only one who looks out for him, and that he's not the only one looking out for Papyrus... But they both have a lot of work ahead of them.

It had been two weeks. Two long, empty, lonely weeks. Sans hadn’t given up on his brother, per se, but he had given up on looking for him. A check on the numbers revealed nothing out of the ordinary; as far as he could tell, Papyrus was definitely still alive, and there was nothing funky with the timeline. More mundane sources of information continued to come up dry, and the few times Sans had gone out, there was a subtle unease in town. If only Papyrus knew his neighbors missed him... not to mention his own brother. It was like he'd vanished into thin air, and Sans knew that was one thing his brother couldn't do. So he was just... gone.

Sans was starting to feel he'd messed up somehow. He knew he was far from being a perfect or even a really good brother, but he didn’t think he’d done anything to make Papyrus feel running away was necessary…. No, Papyrus would have aired his grievances long before that, he was sure.... But then again, would he? It's not like Sans ever did anything about all the things he nagged him for. Maybe after feeling unheard for so long, he'd left. A cruel voice in his mind liked to whisper as much and worse, and without Papyrus to motivate him, he wasn't doing much to combat it.

He rolled over on the couch and ignored the empty chip bag that crinkled under him, the remains of lunch. Going to Grillby’s had become too taxing sometime last week, and most other foods were similarly inconvenient if they sounded good at all. He wanted nothing more than for Papyrus to burst in and scold him for being so lazy, but dreams of exactly that and the knowledge none of this mattered anyway had spoiled his hopes. He’d just wait, like he always did. He heaved a sigh, and was letting his eyelids drift down when a knock on his door startled him.

He waited, and it came again--much harder.

“Sans?” Undyne called, her voice only slightly muffled by the door. “Sans, you better be in there. I'm gonna bust this down if you don't answer now!”

Oh boy. He hauled himself up, brushed off the worst of the crumbs, and answered the door. Undyne grimaced as she studied him.

“Oh thank god, but dude, you look awful. I was here to see if you were okay, but, I think I just got my answer. C’mon, you’re not staying inside anymore.”

“eh, i’m not really feeling up to going out,” Sans mumbled, wondering if he looked as tired as he felt. “was kinda hoping you had info on my bro, to be honest, but…”

“Sans, no one’s seen you in three weeks,” Undyne stated.

Sans looked up at her with brows furrowed, questioning.

“i was just at grillby’s like… five days ago,” he protested, but Undyne shook her head.

“Grillby himself called me in on a wellness check. It’s been three. Weeks. Two since Papyrus… disappeared. I… guess you lost track of time, huh?”

Sans wilted--he was missing a whole week. “… it really flies when you’re having fun. sorry you went through all this trouble. tell grillby…. i dunno. tell him i’m ok, i guess.”

“You’re not okay,” Undyne growled, snatching the shoulder of his hoodie. “What if Papyrus came home to find you like this? Or—or worse!? Come on! We’re getting you cleaned up, making you eat some real food, and then we’re going out to look for Papyrus because if this keeps going we’ll lose BOTH of you.”

Sans didn’t have it in him to protest. She... she was right. He let her strongarm him into his own house and into the shower—though she gave him his privacy once she’d turned the water on, and the warmth felt so nice he considered staying in for a few days. But that would mean missing out on food he probably wouldn't be paying for, and he was actually hungry now. He washed up and put on the change of clothes Undyne had left him, and when he did finally emerge he found she’d thrown most of the trash away and there was an open spot on the couch. It was fated to remain empty though as she hooked her arm around his shoulders and marched him out the door.

Grillby’s exploded in shock when the two walked in, and they were swarmed by the regulars trying to greet them. Undyne howled, ordering everyone to give Sans some space, and they were finally able to make their way to the bar. If Sans was honest, part of him didn’t really want to be here, but more of him could admit he’d missed it. His friends were quick to fill him in on the latest gossip and jokes, and he realized they were doing for him what he'd done for them so many times before. They were trying to cheer him up.

After enjoying good company and a meal Grillby had assured him was on the house, at Undyne's urging they headed out to begin the search anew. Sans dreaded reaching the tile puzzle now, knowing it was the last place with any evidence of his brother and yet be such a glaring dead end. He sighed, and nudged some of the freshly accumulated snow with his slipper as Undyne talked on her phone behind him.

“Wait a minute, I’ll ask. Hey Sans,” she spoke, tapping his shoulder. “You remember what day it was that all this started?”

“yeah. it was… tuesday, exactly two—well, three weeks ago,” he answered.

“Thanks! Okay, um… as far as I know, he starts at 6 AM, sharp. Yeah. It would’ve taken him a little while to… okay, gotcha. I’ll hang on.”

There was a long pause. Sans wondered if he really could fall asleep standing up. Odds were looking pretty good. He let his eyelids slip down...

“So… you do see something? Uh-huh… that’s too bad about the lens, but you can confirm there was movement here during our timeframe? Awesome. Well, not awesome, but, you know. Thanks Alphys, you’re the best. Talk to you later.”

“well?”

“Dr. Alphys set up these cameras all over to watch for humans, and as it happens, they caught Papyrus walking over here, but not getting any farther than that. Thanks to that snowstorm, this area’s camera got iced over--of course--but she could see enough to make out… something,” Undyne explained. “Hold on, she’s gonna text me a couple pictures.”

There was a ping, and she studied the images with a frown before holding it out for Sans.

“I dunno. I definitely see something, but, can you make any sense of this?”

Sans took her phone and studied the blurry pictures. He could barely make out the trees in the background, but at least the division between them and the snow-covered ground was clear enough. There wasn’t anything that looked particularly like his brother, but there was a whitish arch of something and a smudge of orange that seemed to dart across the frame. It was a better hint than anything they’d had before, but what was it?

Sans squinted at the pictures—wait, was the arch a spine? And his tired mind dredged up memories he hadn't known he had. A lab. A scientist. Two living weapons, the pinnacle of magical engineering--and an accident that erased nearly all evidence it had ever happened. A hand on his shoulder steadied him, and he looked up to see Undyne giving him a worried look. He handed her phone back wordlessly and shoved his hands into his pockets, magic racing.

“Are you okay? You got kinda… unsteady there for a moment.”

“’m fine,” he answered, well aware his eye lights had blinked out.

“Sans, dude, you’re freaking me out,” Undyne called as he walked away, inspecting the edges of the clearing and peering into the trees.

“can i ask you a favor?”

“Uh… yeah?”

“go pick up the least greasy thing from grillby’s you can and wait here. i know what happened to papyrus,” Sans stated, staring into the depths of the forest. The indents were distant and faint from layers of fresh snowfall, but he could see the pattern now and wondered how he hadn’t noticed them before. No points for him, that was sure.

“Uh, sure thing. See you… both? Soon,” Undyne said, and in a blink he was gone.

The forests outside Snowdin were thick and ancient, and most monsters avoided their depths. It was largely the threat of frostbite and getting lost that kept them away, but save for a few exceptions monsters generally preferred company and civilization to untamed forest anyway. If this was where he’d run, it made sense Papyrus hadn’t been found by anyone.

Sans followed his brother’s tracks—long, bounding marks that only increased in distance from one another as he’d picked up speed—and called his name, hoping the trees and snow wouldn’t simply swallow his muted voice altogether. It got darker, and quieter, and there was a growing sense he was trespassing. If he didn’t have his shortcuts Sans might’ve been afraid of losing his way, but it didn’t matter. Shortcuts or not, he would have kept searching now that he had a lead. Considering what the last four weeks had done to him, who knew what state Papyrus would be in.

He eventually found himself in a wide clearing where fresh snow and gusting winds had swept the tracks clean, and sighed. His trail had gone cold again, and he gave a halfhearted laugh at the pun. Papyrus would have hated it…. What he wouldn’t give to hear his exasperated groans again. He called his brother’s name, and listened to it echo faintly until silence laid heavily over him once more. That was the worst of all—the utter silence of an empty world.

Wood cracked behind him, and Sans whirled, magic flaring in his left socket. A pair of orange rings that almost matched met his gaze, and for a moment it was all he saw before he made out the rest of the entity’s face and body from the surrounding gloom. His magic faded, and he sank to the ground. He wasn’t sure how much time passed as they simply stared at one another, but it had to have been at least five minutes before he found his voice and finally addressed the being watching him.

“papyrus?”

A raspy whine answered, and Sans winced. It was his brother’s voice, but weaker, and wordless. Papyrus had always been so proud to learn new words, but now he wouldn’t say even one. This was bad.

“c’mere bro, let’s get you home, huh?”

Papyrus stared for a while, and Sans tried not to listen to the rising panic in his soul. He'd come when he'd called, he had to remember, had to recognize him, right? Why was he still standing so far away...?

"... bro?"

Finally, Papyrus shook himself out, inhaled, then staunchly shook his head with a huff. He hesitated, but did walk over, head held low as he slowly approached. He paused again, only a few feet away and studying him warily—then sat and curled around himself. Sans eyed him sadly, not liking how faint his eye lights were or that he didn’t want to come home. He thought for a while, then leaned back on his hands with a sigh.

“look… i get it. you don’t want to show off your cool bod, it’d be too awesome for anyone to handle and you can’t bear to do that to someone.”

Something that sounded loosely like “nyeh heh heh” chuffed from Papyrus’ jaws.

“but… it’s been three weeks, bro, goin' on a month. everyone wants to know where you went. uh… i’ve been… even lazier than usual without you. i’ll warn ya now, you’re gonna have some major vacuuming to do.”

An exasperated groan rose from his brother.

“i know, i know. but… bro… you can’t be okay with living like an animal out here. I’M not okay with you living like an animal out here. c'mon, undyne’s waiting for us with food, somethin’ hot from grillby’s, and i specifically asked her to get the least greasy thing she could order 'cause i know how you feel about it. there’s a whole month of mtt shows to catch up on. there’s… bedtime stories, and i can’t afford to slack on those, heh…”

Papyrus gave a shuddering sigh. Sans watched as he stretched out his long forelimbs and turned his palms up, contemplating the digits tipped with slender, deadly claws. Then, he buried his face in the snow and laid his hands across his skull, a picture of despair.

“bro, papyrus, it’s ok. you’re smart, you’ll figure out how to change back,” Sans comforted, reaching out to pat his brother’s head. "you're not gonna let something like this get you down, are ya? c'mon. let's go home.”

Papyrus finally raised his head. He looked so tired as he fixed him with a weary look, and Sans’ soul ached. He could only begin to imagine how his brother had felt out here, by himself in a body that must have stirred up old memories—too many of which were unpleasant. But the light shone in Papyrus’ sockets just a little brighter, and he stood up swiftly, head held high.

And then he fainted.

Sans did his best to appear at his side to catch him, but even if skeletons weren’t heavy monsters Sans was decidedly not in shape and the impact made him stumble. He took a moment to regain his footing, but with his brother limp but in his grasp at last, he removed them from that part of reality and placed them back in the tile puzzle room. Undyne jumped at their sudden appearance and would have probably summoned a spear or two if she weren't already holding a takeout bag. Her eye darted over them, and Sans might’ve laughed at her dumbfounded expression if his brother hadn’t still been unconscious.

“What. The HELL. IS THAT?!” she finally shouted as he laid Papyrus down gently, and he bristled at her harsh words.

“excuse you. THAT happens to be my brother.”

Undyne gestured wildly before finding words to express herself again. “BUT? HOW?? WHAT??!”

Papyrus finally moved, his eyes blinking open, though it took a moment for his irises to reignite. Sans ignored Undyne’s flailing and snatched the takeout from her, sitting near his brother’s head and digging around for whatever awaited in the small paper bag. A few days without food wouldn’t affect a monster’s health much, and certainly not someone with high stats like Papyrus, but nearly a month was another story and he was more than a little worried. He withdrew what turned out to be a toasted turkey club sandwich, mentally thanked both Grillby and Undyne for listening, and helped his brother sit up to finally eat something. It wouldn’t be enough to bring Papyrus’ energy back all the way, but he’d be better off than where he was now by a long shot.

The sandwich was snapped up upon being offered, and after a moment Papyrus felt strong enough to stand on his own. Undyne had settled into just staring at them both skeptically, jaw slack and hands clenching and unclenching as if to summon a spear at any moment. Sans crumpled up the bag and stuck it in his pocket, and looked from his brother to the guard captain with amusement. Papyrus looked nervous—or maybe embarrassed, and his first attempt to speak came out as a gusty hiss. But he stepped back, took a moment, and coughed into his fist to clear his throat.

“Hello, Undyne.”

If Undyne had been dumbfounded before, she was well and truly stunned now. She sank to her knees staring, and Sans couldn’t help but laugh at her. A scream started to croak from her, and he decided it’d be best they all headed back to their house before her yelling attracted attention from the other patrols. He beckoned his brother over, and took Undyne’s wrist as he laid a hand on Papyrus’ shoulder, and in an instant they were in the living room... not a moment too soon.

Undyne screeched at the top of her lungs, reaching a truly impressive volume even Papyrus winced at. Her next instinct was apparently to fight, lunging for her friend as if to throw him over her head. Sans darted out of the way as she sped past, and a soft ping sounded before she was flung sideways into the couch. Papyrus gave his brother a disapproving look, but he gave it right back.

“no fighting in my house,” he said, wagging a teasing finger. “sorry to burst your bubble, undyne, but until papyrus is back at full strength i’m not letting you beat him up.”

“I’M NOT GONNA BEAT HIM UP! I’M JUST GONNA PUNCH HIM FOR BEING DUMB!!!” Undyne roared, leaping from the couch and promptly hauled flat on her face. She growled and pushed herself up, only to fly to the ceiling and stick flat on her back. “Will you QUIT with the BLUE MAGIC?!”

“not unless you stop trying to hit my bro,” Sans countered, and Papyrus laid a hand across his eyes.

“Sans, please put Undyne, who need I remind you is our boss, back on the ground?" he asked, voice still shaky from disuse. "I am quite capable of handling her rigorous expressions of affection, thank you.”

Sans looked over to him and sighed. “you’re right as always bro. i just… i know you’re tough and all, but you’re also not at 100 percent and undyne is pretty intense.”

“YOU BET I AM!”

“plus, i haven’t seen you in basically forever after you disappeared, so forgive me for bein’ a little protective.”

Undyne drifted down at last, and though she glared at Sans she didn’t seem intent on continuing her charge when she landed. Instead, she sat decisively on the couch and folded her arms, fixing them each with a sharp look. “Okay. Here’s what’s going to happen. BOTH of you are going to explain what the HECK is going on with Papyrus, and THEN! We’re getting him something else to eat so we don’t have to treat him like a delicate flower.”

“Flowers are actually quite tough!” Papyrus offered, but shrank under a skeptical glare.

“SO! Who wants to start telling me why or how Papyrus ended up as a… dog-dragon-horse thing?”

The brothers exchanged looks.

“It’s just a skeleton thing, you wouldn’t understand,” Papyrus dismissed. “Most of the time I am the wonderful tall fellow you are familiar with, but if I so wish, I can become… this! It’s a thing.”

“yup, it’s true,” Sans confirmed, but Undyne didn’t look convinced.

“So, you could transform into this awesome creature this whole time… and you never told me?!”

“W-well, you see, I never had reason to bring it up! My usual good looks are more than enough as well as more practical for my day-to-day life, so, I much prefer them. Not to mention I… actually completely forgot how to change. Such things happen even to someone as great as me, tragically…” Papyrus explained, his claws fidgeting, "but it's fine! This is totally a normal thing."

Undyne considered his words and finally relaxed. “Huh. Well, do you… remember how to change back?”

“do you think he would have run away if he did?” Sans shot, and she deflated.

“Right. But, if it’s just something you can do, why’d you hide it? There’s all sorts of monsters out there, no one would even blink at you.”

Papyrus grunted nervously. “Consider that this form is considerably more intimidating, and I, already a sight to behold… Not to mention! I want to be known based on my merits--my wit, my battle prowess, my shockingly handsome bones! Not a silly transformation gimmick that wears off within an hour of playing with it.”

Undyne laughed, a welcome sound after her furious screams. “I guess that’s fair. Wait, if this is a skeleton thing… does this mean Sans can do it too?!”

“nope. even if i could... i'm way too lazy for any shapeshifting shenanigans,” Sans answered lightly. “my bro has the ‘cool werewolf’ gig all to himself.”

“I am not a werewolf!!!” Papyrus cried, stomping his feet as the others chuckled. "I am still, clearly, a skeleton!"

“Alright, well, I guess that’s good enough for me. You dudes need anything, let me know, but now that this is resolved I have work to get back to. Oh yeah… Papyrus, consider figuring out how to change back your new assignment. If you really don’t want to go out looking like that, I figure it’s pretty much top priority. And Sans… you get half watch shifts this week, since you’ll probably have to help Papyrus out with… a lot. Sound good?”

“you know i won’t complain about working less,” Sans teased, and she rolled her eye.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you punks later, okay? Call me if you need anything--it's... really good to have you back, Papyrus.”

Papyrus looked like he didn't know what to say.

She finally left, closing the door behind her. Sans heaved a sigh, and debated whether to make the effort to move to the couch or just sit on the floor. He decided the floor was good enough. Papyrus made a face but sat too, drawing his own deep sigh.

“Well, what are we going to do, brother?”

“i dunno, bro. you need something else to eat, for one. but beyond that… i dunno. mostly… i’m just glad you’re back too.”

“If I am honest, it is good to be back. You weren’t kidding about the vacuuming though, ugh. Did you do anything while I was gone?”

“… i slept.”

Papyrus groaned. “You would. In any case… I am still rather famished. As you can guess, the forest... didn't exactly have grocery stores. Pardon me if I don’t cook fresh spaghetti for us, I’m sure you’ve missed it terribly.”

“more than i thought i could,” Sans laughed, and it was true. It had never been the flavor that was enjoyable about Papyrus’ cooking.

Sans proposed various techniques for Papyrus to try changing back over dinner, many of which he’d already thought of and attempted. He continued regardless, suggesting progressively ridiculous remedies until Papyrus laughed at him. They curled up on the couch together to watch TV, and Sans was happy to see his brother’s eyes drift closed—Papyrus never seemed to sleep, even when he really needed it.

No doubt he really needed it now.

The next day saw about as much progress, and Papyrus’ happiness fade. Sans tried to ignore the worry growing inside him, but it was clear that the time alone with no success had done a number on Papyrus’ self-confidence. Toss in whatever memories he might’ve relived and no wonder he was having doubts.

Sans watched him pace the living room floor, occasionally sweeping up stray bits of trash he hadn’t noticed before. He was antsy, and judging by the way his tail lashed he was increasingly agitated by the situation. The fact he had to stay inside probably wasn’t helping either.

“you wanna go let off some steam somewhere?” Sans suggested before his brother could start another transit across the carpet, and he startled out of his thoughts.

“Hm? Oh, I’m fine! I just need to think!” he replied, standing stiffly. “The Great Papyrus will not be bested yet!”

“no way, but, i was just thinking you might like to get out before you wear a rut in the floor,” Sans continued, and Papyrus glanced at the carpet. There were a few places where his claws had snagged, and they all aligned perfectly with where he’d been pacing.

“Ah. I see your point. Where could we go? I don’t want anyone to see…”

“i was thinking the woods, middle of nowhere. kinda where you ran away to, but not for another three weeks, heh.”

“That sounds suitable. Alright! We do have a nice house but I can admit it is rather cramped for someone of my stature at this time, so! Take us away, brother!”

Sans obliged, and in an instant they stood in the clearing where they’d reunited only yesterday. Papyrus inhaled deeply and took off running, and Sans happily watched him tear across the field—getting some exercise was just what an active guy like his younger brother needed, and it wasn’t fair to make him stay indoors all the time. He leapt, and rolled, and sprinted through the snow, cackling all the while as he exerted himself. Sans waved to get his attention, then summoned a maze of bones for him to dodge and weave around. Papyrus raced through it flawlessly, and Sans couldn’t help but swell with pride. His brother was so cool.

As he watched, he could almost remember what it was like too.

Something juddered out of sync in his soul, and he froze. Oh no, nope, he was not doing this now or ever again. He shut his eyes and thought about how nice it was to be what he was now, tried to focus on how his soul had felt before something else had awakened within it, and was relieved to feel that foreign sensation die away. The Underground didn’t need two of them running around, and Papyrus had always had an easier time switching forms than he did—even when they both remembered how it all worked. Rubbing the side of his skull, he sat in the snow, and when the magic maze dissipated Papyrus came over to see what was wrong.

“Sans? Are you alright?”

“yep, fine. all those bones wore me out.”

Papyrus made a face. “You really do need to work out more! That was hardly anything compared to what you used to do.”

“yeah, well, that was before i discovered being lazy is the best thing in the world.”

Papyrus groaned. “If I need exercise you do too! Come on, lazybones!”

He was hauled up with a clawed hand and nudged in the back by a toothy snout, and gave an exaggerated groan as he stood. “these legs were not made for running, i’ll have you know.”

“Oh, come on Sans, I know you can do it! Chase me!”

Papyrus dashed off once more, and Sans took a few steps before simply cutting into his brother’s path. The indignant howl he got in return was worth being shoved into the snow, and in retaliation he used a touch of blue magic to bowl his brother over. Papyrus kicked, sending a shower of slush over him, and for a moment they just laughed at one another.

“I suppose I shouldn’t have expected anything else from you,” Papyrus finally said, pushing from the snow. “You have grown to enjoy a much slower pace ever since we… since whatever happened."

“yup, i’m gonna enjoy every moment i get. though, i will say… without you around to push me, i do get… too lazy,” Sans admitted, then sighed. “to be honest bro... it woulda been fine if you’d given me a sign you were okay, a note, anything, but not knowing if you were ever gonna come back... or why you left... well, it was rough. so, uh, i guess what i’m saying is… don’t do that again or i’ll have to ground you.”

Papyrus studied him, then hung his head. “I’m sorry Sans, I know I should have, but… I was. Uncertain.”

It was Sans’ turn to prop himself up and look quizzically at his brother. “about what?”

Papyrus fidgeted under his gaze, clearly considering his words before he continued. “How much do you remember of what happened to us?"

Sans furrowed a brow. "more than i'd like, but less than i should."

“S-so, w-well, when this, happened, I—I didn’t want you to see. I didn’t want anyone to see, but especially not you, because I remembered—I remembered a little of how bad we had it, and if you didn’t remember, I didn’t want to accidentally remind you,” Papyrus explained, digging his claws into the ground. “And then you came and found me, and didn’t care that I was what I am, and I felt like a fool for thinking it was better I had left without a word. I’m sorry, brother.”

Sans leaned back with a soft, bittersweet chuckle. “and here i always kept the fact i remembered anything a secret ‘cause i didn’t want you to worry either. we’re hilarious, a real comedy of errors.”

“Indeed.”

“anyway. the important thing is figuring out how you can change back. i don’t remember a thing about that myself, and obviously neither do you. seems like a thing you just gotta feel.”

“Agreed,” Papyrus huffed. “It used to be so easy! How did we do that? As effortless as the bones we conjure, as natural as breathing! It’s so… so frustrating Sans. I… I don’t want to be this. It’s so easy to just... let my thoughts slip away. And I remember that... they wanted us to lose them, wanted us to... be less of us. And after all I've worked for, I refuse to go back to that!”

"you got this, bro. despite everything that's happened, it's still you."

“I know… It’s hard though. But! Hard things have never discouraged me before! We just have to keep trying no matter how long it takes!”

“you got it,” Sans said, his mood lifting at his brother’s boundless optimism. “you ready to head back home then?”

“I think I’m going to take one more lap! You should try to as well, and no cheating!”

“if i did we’d be here for another hour. you go ahead, i’ll be right here.”

Sans watched him rise and make one last circuit around the clearing, then in a blink they were both back home. Papyrus shook snow from his talons and gave a contented sigh, then sat with a determined look on his face. He puffed out his chest, and Sans knew he was in for one of his brother’s monologues.

“Now that my restlessness has been cured, it! Is time! I can approach the issue of my transformation with a clear head! The simple fact remains that my memory of the technique has been obscured by forces strange and concerning, but! I was able to recall how to turn with the simple triggering of a distant memory of the instruction to do so, so! It stands to reason that a memory of the opposite instruction will have the same effect. Said memories may be distressing and difficult to pinpoint, but! The Great Papyrus has never been one to back down in the face of danger! Nyeheh!”

“nope. like i said bro, you were the bravest one there,” Sans affirmed, sifting through his own tenuous recall of their old lives. “i was never strong enough to do anything, and the... assistants, well... they never spoke up about animal cruelty either. says a lot about them, and none of it’s good.”

Papyrus looked at him sadly. "You know, Sans... I don't think they knew what we really were. With how he was, how could they? I think even he pretended not to sometimes..."

Sans huffed a short sigh. "yeah. think you might be right about that."

“… I wish it all could have been different.”

“me too.”

“But! It’s different now! We’re the determiners of our fates! And I say I will be this beast no longer!” Papyrus declared brightly, banishing the grim mood that had settled in momentarily. Standing proudly, he scrunched his eyes shut and concentrated—to no avail. He sighed, and let his legs slide out from under him until he lay spread-eagle on the carpet.

“i can’t believe i’m seeing my brother lay down on the floor with my own two eyes,” Sans teased, and Papyrus scrambled to rise.

“Nyeh! Do not think for an instant I was being anything remotely close to ‘lazy’ or ‘tired’!” Papyrus refuted, glaring at him with comically bugged eyes. “The effort of trying to overcome my natural inclination for this form simply took some recovering from!”

“so, you were tired,” Sans summarized, earning more disgruntled complaint from his brother. He’d missed this so much.

“Fine! Yes! I required a brief respite,” Papyrus conceded, sitting back on his haunches so he could fold his arms. “If I am honest I am quite tired of this form’s stubbornness! I know I must have been instructed to change many times, but I cannot recall how I managed such a simple task and it! Is! The! Worst! Thing!”

“wow, and that’s pretty bad, since that means it’s even worse than my jokes,” Sans commented, and his brother stamped his forefeet down.

“It is!”

“well, we better get to work then. undyne said this was your new assignment, i can’t believe how much you’ve slacked off on it already.”

“No! Nooooo!” Papyrus howled, clasping his head in his hands.

The banter continued as the brothers worked to recall what had once been a regular part of their lives. Some memories slowly filtered back, hazes of shadows and sharp objects resolving into people with needles and too-bright rooms full of instruments. Long nights that sometimes became days that became nights again, spent alone and shivering in an empty room. Hours of training for a task neither of them really understood, harsh tests of every aspect of their abilities imaginable, pushing them to the limits of their endurance. Fleeting moments of happiness together.

All encouraged and directed by a man whose words could seem kind, but masked a cruel curiosity and an unbending will. They were never meant to have souls or personalities. He was going to ensure his work continued despite those.

But for all these memories, there were still gaps. Black holes that would never divulge the information that had once been there--and considering the nature of what Sans did remember, he couldn't help but feel perhaps that was for the best. But if Papyrus' memory of how to shift back had been engulfed by one of these voids... then he might not ever remember, and have to figure it out all over again. On Sans’ part, he’d at least recalled why he didn’t know the method to change back, and it had nothing to do with a spotty memory.

“AT LEAST IN YOUR OTHER FORM YOU LOOK MORE LIKE A SUCCESS. NEVER TAKE THIS SHAPE AGAIN.”

The words had stung anew, a biting remark on a small, frail body that was useless to a lab that only made weapons. He ought to at least look the part, and wasn't allowed anything else. It was only the third time Sans had taken that smaller form in the lab; from then on, he'd slowly accepted his life as a beast. It was easier that way.

"I think perhaps we've had enough," Papyrus said in a low voice, shaking him out of a flat stare after recalling that particular memory. "Let's take our minds off things for a while!"

Sans was glad to get up and laze in front of the TV as Papyrus reheated leftovers for them both. MTT had something mindless on as usual, and it was just the thing for drowning out painful memories. Papyrus snorted when he noticed his brother had fallen asleep, and busied himself with cleaning up the dishes before rejoining him on the couch to doze himself. It had been a long day, but more were sure to follow. They needed all the rest they could get.

It wasn't going to come easy.

[delfinodreams]

OKAY i said i would make a post about my thoughts on paper mario a while ago and im finally writing it out

ill put it under a break because its probably gonna be long-ish

update: yea this bitch is LONG

okay so overall i really really enjoyed it!! it was really solid for the first entry in the series and i could definitely see the inspiration that ttyd later took from it. one thing that i didnt know about was partners not having HP, which threw me for a little bit of a loop. partners as a whole in this game don't play as active of a role as i wouldve expected because they have so little lines but using them in battle is still very fun! another small thing but i also hadn't expected mario to be completely silent, but it later grew on me!

i'm also gonna list my experiences and opinions on each chapter so here we go!!

chapter 1 - pretty alright for an introductory chapter! i didnt find anything especially notable, apart from getting 2 partners in one chapter. navigating the koopa bros. fortress was fun, and i loved the battle at the end!! their theme is SUCH a banger i had to sit back and listen to it for a bit when the fight actually started ehe

chapter 2 - not quite a fan of this one imo? i liked the first part through the mountain, but the trek though dry dry desert kinda took it out of me. BUT the addition of my favourite partner made up for it! parakarry my beloved <3 also the cutscene where dry dry ruins rise up??? that shit was SPECTACULAR. i absolutely loved how it turned dark when it first came up, i wish it stayed like that for more than just until you entered the ruins. the boss itself wasn't too exciting for me, probably because there wasnt much of a story?? i dont know how to describe it. actually its like that for quite a few of these bosses, but its the first entry for this series, so i wont fault it too much.

chapter 3 - this might be my FAVOURITE chapter- the suspense buildup throughout the entire chapter was AMAZING holy moly!!! first through the forever forest when you have bootler ask for you, and then wandering the mansion itself. i TOTALLY thought that boos were gonna be actual enemies when i saw them floating around. sneaking around tubba blubba's castle was so so fun to do, and i legitimately panicked when you ran into him in the hall and also when he wakes up and chases you back to the windmill. i didnt actually think the heart itself was the boss, just a miniboss, so i freaked out when i left the windmill and was immediately thrown into a battle with tubba blubba. i cannot express just how much i enjoyed this chapter, seriously!!

chapter 4 - coming back to toad town with the music change threw me for a bit; i wasnt expecting action to pop up so soon! figuring out that you could actually go into the toybox was such a "wait, what??" moment for me, but like, in a positive way. it was really cool to navigate this chapter and the lantern ghost encounter genuinely creeped me out at first because it was COMPLETELY dark. the fight against general guy is also a BANGER i could listen to it all day

chapter 5 - man i LOVE the whale. just a big guy willing to take u across the ocean :^) i really appreciated how you weren't stranded on the island too, like how you were on keelhaul key in ttyd. the ravens are also funky little guys, love them too. again, the lava piranha didnt really have any substance to it BUT it was a nice fight nonetheless! when it popped up again i was shocked but i made it through!! also fuck kolorado he doesnt deserve his wife

chapter 6 - this one's formatting is really neat- one central area with lots of branching paths, which i hadnt seen in my past pm experiences! i loved the quest leading up to the big beanstalk, plus the environment was so pretty!! the little part with the sun tower popped out to me, i'm not sure why though. maybe it was the music, it was so different from the flower fields theme. at first i had actually expected to go up to the clouds earlier, maybe like midway through the chapter. i thought that would be the "dungeon" of this part, so i was a little bit let down when i realized that the fields were the majority. however, the bit of the clouds we do see is SO good i LOVE the atmosphere!! huff n puff was actually relatively easy, using parakarry and lakilester for their all-around attacks. the guitars were a nice touch for his theme as well!

chapter 7 - oh dude i LOVED this chapter. i didnt know what i was expecting when i first went into the pipe in the sewers, whether it would put me into a village immediately or if i would have to make it through some screens before. needless to say, i was relieved when it popped me out into shiver city. the whole place felt "warm" which was really nice!! i was comparing it to ttyd's chapter 7 and fahr outpost which i didn't really vibe with, so it was a nice change! the whole murder plot was also unexpected but i enjoyed the whole "whodunnit" mystery! omg as im typing this i realize just how many aspects of this chapter i love this is gonna be long,, the entire snowy atmosphere is just so PRETTY and starborn valley felt so solitary to the rest of the land, like its own little bubble. i also had no idea that ninjis were in this game so when i saw one at merlon's i was like HUH?? anyways the way up the mountain to the crystal palace kept me on my toes; i thought that was the dungeon at first! the small bit where you see madam merlar and she tells you the story of the palace really got to me i have no idea why. the music and mysticality of it all was just SO good. dont even get me started on the crystal palace itself HOLY MOLY. the whole reflection bit was SO SO clever and the moment you realize its NOt actually a mirror?? fucking magnificent. this has to be my favourite dungeon in the whole game because it has such a NEAT gimmick!! it also has my favourite mario enemies, duplighosts! FUCK the crystal king though. he stunlocked me with his freezing move because i could not get the hang of blocking it. my partners really carried me for that battle; thank god for quick change

chapter 8 - THIS CHAPTER DELIVERED. the buildup for the entire game leading to this point. OUTSTANDING. i had to sit back and admire star haven because its so pretty- did i mention i love the water graphics in this game?? it has a pixelly look but it works SO WELL. going to the ship to take you to bowser's castle really felt like a "this is it" moment. the entirety of bowser's castle was So Good, it kept me on my toes the entire time!! slowly advancing as the music got more intense REALLY pumped me up. tracks that start off with only a couple instruments and eventually add more as you progress is one way to make me go BONKERS. the one bit where you make your way outside on the bridge and the music dials down and then you re-enter on the other side to it SLAMMING you in the face- that was Great. and then the complete silence as you get outside peach's castle HOLY SHIT. and then you actually enter the palace and the music is SO EERIE and youre like OH SHIT THIS IS REALLY IT. seriously, the buildup for this entire castle is done SO magnificently. i hadn't expected to fight bowser twice, i guess it was the game's way of letting u level up One Last Time before u got to the big bad. that being said, i wasn't too worried on getting a game over since i was fucking stacked on items. but that's besides the point- the fight itself got my heart POUNDING. the effects for the star rod and the star's powers were really nice to see in action, and the little section with peach and twink was so cool! i was expecting a little interlude where you would get your stats maxed out because thats how its like in every pm game, but it was still moving :)) bowser's final battle theme fucking SLAPS. the guitar especially sounds AMAZING. you really see him as a threat here and its so badass. his healing move fucked me over multiple times- i probably ended up having to deal with double his base HP over the course of the fight.

after the fight was over and you got to see peach's castle float down with the soft music in the background, it really hit me that its done, its over. again, the effects in this game are so pretty and theyre utilized SO well for the n64. visiting toad town one last time with all the npcs was a really nice touch- for some reason i really loved being able to interact with vanna t. (chuck quizmo's toad assistant) she's ADORABLE and i will probably end up drawing her sometime :)) the credits were also something that i really enjoyed- i LOVE the ongoing theme of parades at the end. seeing everything and everyone in the game condensed into a short 8 minutes really got me, i cant remember but im pretty sure i was smiling the whole time! and a small sidenote- TOADS WITH GLOWING SPOTS ON THEIR HEAD HELLO?????? I WANNA DRAW THAT SO BAD.

the ending screen with peach and mario looking at the fireworks made me really soft and i teared up a little because i was finally finished. the addition of pop diva's solo in the track was also so touching, it was my favourite sidequest in the game so hearing it again brought up Emotions :')

one thing i wasnt sure of was if there was a post-game mode and my completionist heart was disappointed a little when i found out i couldn't advance from the end screen and was forced to reset. although not many games from this era had post-game content so i cant dock too many points for that.

the paper mario series has a fond place in my heart, and finally being able to play the game that started it all really was a special experience. it really cemented my love for the original formula and i could see many places where ttyd took inspiration from. this game really is fun, and i would highly recommend playing it yourself if you have the means!

[redspecialstardust]

My Random Commander Meouch Headcanons pt 2 Requested by @heartsinclaire

Gif by twrpgifs

Definitely enjoys chasing things; maybe a little too much. When trying to help the guys catch a pest such as a raccoon in their trash, a possum in the attic etc., he goes full hunter mode, running it down and catching it by the tail with his teeth. By the time the rest of TWRP has caught up to him, they're greeted by the horrific sight of Meouch dangling a panicked critter over his open jaws, ready to swallow, but Haave normally grabs him the scruff of his neck

"Commander, drop it."

*growls*

"That's an order!"

*growls, spitting it out"

When he sees a bird through the window, he doesn't have any desire to chase. The neighbors across the street, however, own a large number of chickens that they let roam around on their front lawn., and it drives Meouch crazy; all that fresh meat, right there for the taking. He'll stare out the window, eye wide, mouth watering and claws sliding out. Of course, Sung won't let those poor little chickens get hurt.

"Meouch, noooooo."

"Ughhhh, so much meat! I need it!"

Keeping a predator away from its food is equivalent to weaning a junkie off their drugs, so Meouch does have some type of withdrawal as he tries to resist the urge to kill. To get the killer instinct off his mind, Sung and the others will watch TV with him, maybe give him a beef jerky stick to nibble on until he's calmed down and too distracted with the movie/show he's watching. By that time, the neighbors have their chickens locked up for the night.

Kinda mad about the whole pet/owner dynamic at first. Like, people keep these little animals on chains and leashes? Determining when they get to eat and go out? That sucks! Like, set the free! For the most part, felt upset until he found out that some people keep lions, tigers, and all kinds of big cats locked up too. Then he was TERRFIED. He thought that someone might take him and put him in a zoo or skin him for fur. Still kind of is, but has calmed down since his friends promised to take care of him. But please in the name of all things funky, DON'T mention Joe Exotic or Carole Baskins to him.

TV: "That bitch, Carole--"

Meouch: *smashes screen in*

Surprisingly enjoys climbing trees since he has the coordination of a human and cat. Feels proud he can go up and down a tree without any trouble or fear of getting stuck. In fact, he likes to climb great big ones and sit on the branches, feeling the wind blow through his mane. A truly nice place to light one and relax.

Obviously a napper. He's that one friend who's always sleepy and takes three hour naps. He has designated places to rest such as his own bed, a large beanbag chair in the living room, and of course the hammock out back. The hammock is his favorite spot because it's right in the sun where it's always warm. Easy to tell if he's dreaming because his ears will flick and his bean toes will twitch. Tail might even swish.

Has cried while watching the Land Before Time, don't @ him. Littlefoot losing his mom is just the saddest damn thing he's ever seen and if it didn't make you cry, then you're a monster. Worse than Haave.

Wanna hypnotize him? Turn the tv on to some ocean themed stock footage of fish swimming around and he'll be powerless. Can't...take...eyes...away... Like seriously, he's tried watching Finding Nemo five times now, and still couldn't tell you what it was about because it put him in a trance. Does he mind? No, it's relaxing. NO THOUGHTS. HEAD EMPTY. ONLY FISH.

Thinks he's a tough guy, eh? See how tough he is when he's scratched under his chin or behind the ears. He is then instant pudding; Salted Caramel flavored.

"Wait'll i get my paws on that bastard who cut me off on the freeway this morning! He's dead meat!"

Phobos: Oh, stop. Calm down before your blood pressure goes through the roof.

Meouch: No I WON'T calm down! I'm gonna rip his arms off, and then shove 'em up his---!"

Phobos: *Starts giving him scritches*

Meouch: *Instantly stops as his eyes roll and purring ensues* "H-hey, I'm s-still gonna..."

Phobos: Relax, tough guy. You showed him.

Meouch: Yeah...I sure did...

THAT'S IT FOR NOW! Want more? Maybe I'll continue in the future! :)

[telesthisia]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse - meme.

TAGGED BY: @hyaciiintho​ thank you so much!!! <3 TAGGING: @rcguna​ @cadcnce​ either or whatever works for you bear, @panickypeachboy​ @paintmaid​ @emfiliae​ @windmcge​ and you as well!! The person reading this

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multi-muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. <--- leaving this here because this is super sweet ALSO FAIR WARNING my blog has right click turned off. I’m going to be placing this under readmore but I think you can see it on dashboard view! If not lmk we’ll work something out!!! 

MY MUSE IS:   CANON / OC / AU (Verse dependent) / CANON-DIVERGENT (Interactions & verse dependent) / FANDOMLESS

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES well kinda at least thanks to ssbu before she wasn’t that well known I MEAN PPL KNEW HER BUT SHE DIDN’T HAVE AS MANY FANART AS OTHER ZELDAS SDJBKHJABSD/ NO

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK because not too many people talk about her and by her I mean ALTTP Zel, people are bonkers over SSBU Zel! 

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO if we’re talking about the canon of ALTTP and OoX series rather than ssbu it’s a hard no, she has enough magic to be considered a sacrifice to break barriers and revive the dead but not enough to fend herself off from evil mages who want to talk over the world / IDK

Are they underrated?  YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO / MAYBE

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO / MAYBE

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?   NOT THAT STRICT HONESTLY, she’s just an OC at this point haha because she has zero substance in her own god damn game ;v; she’s just exposition.txt with dulcina effect playing into view though it is somewhat justified since she is the princess and the only thing that stopped Agahnim from breaking out Ganon.... I MEAN!!! SHE’S NOT AT ALL A DEPRESSED CALM ROMANTIC IN CANON LET’S PUT IT TO YOU THAT WAY SDBKASDJHBDASD. 

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS.   TAKES A DEEP BREATH

Tiny funky elf princess trying her best to rule elf kingdom. HJKA there’s more, I’m lazy but not that lazy. She’s the descendent of essentially a mortal god, more than likely acting as an avatar of sorts to the goddess Hylia, as such she’s gifted with fantastical abilities that’s been passed down her family for generations and she intends to use these powers to protect her kingdom that’s still on the road of recovery, as the sole survivor from Agahnim’s destruction upon Hyrule and thus sole scion she’s left picking up the small fragments from the tragedy that occurred ages ago where the Hero of Time had fallen. But here’s the downside to these powers: she was born with a very weak body and poor health as such she can’t utilize the abilities she has from her bloodline aside from a few powers without affecting her low stamina issues. Namely telepathy, clairvoyance, healing, sealing things away, creating barriers, and connection with the spirit realm. As such, she tends to rely on the wisdom given to her by her naturally bright mind and enhanced by the mythical object known as the Triforce of Wisdom. Surprisingly, she can be cunning despite her soft-hearted nature and is willing to do whatever it takes to protect her kingdom and people she loves, her silent determination more than makes up for the lack of powers she may have. That in mind, she’s often the target of more nefarious plans that means the downfall of her kingdom. She may not have the amazing light magic spells her ancestors did to prevent darkness from taking over but that doesn’t mean her magic isn’t any less potent, she just can’t tap into it. She’s an easy target for enemies that wish to use her sacred powers to revive the dead Ganon or break pass whatever powerful barrier or seal that’s in place. 

Her future is pretty grim as well, considering she has a shorter life span. But it’s fine, things are fine she may have a gloomy outlook on certain things but that doesn’t stop her from living life!! Despite how sour this may all seem Zelda is still that encouraging young woman whose kindness defines her, she’s playfully innocent around friends and enjoys exploring old places of decay that’s rich with history! She tends to bottle up her more negative aspects to not worry others since she’s the pillar of an entire ass nation, she needs to maintain her placid demeanor as a means to calm and soothe others around her. Because the truth of the matter is that the events of ALTTP (before the game where harsh plagues among other things happened before Agahnim arrived to fix everything as well as after the events of the game) and OoX, instances where she’s witnessed death of loved ones, the downfall of her kingdom, and coming across death herself has affected her greatly. She suffers from grief and depression that needs to be addressed but... ;v; 

NGL I’M ABOUT TO CRY 

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?).   HJKA TAKE OUT MY BULLSHIT TAKE ON HER AND YOU’RE LEFT WITH EXPOSITION AND DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!!! She’s not at all interesting if you don’t take into account her roles in the mangas which I somewhat base her personality and thoughts on... she’s just.... nice pretty princess that needs to be rescued. A tale as old as time.... 

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   GOOD QUESTION!!! BECAUSE I STARTED OUT WITH HILDA BEFORE DECIDING TO GO WITH SKY ZELDA BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO A MORE OUTGOING MUSE and then I opened up a sideblog for this Zelda out of whim. There’s no reason why I choose the most obscure Zelda, I just did it because I thought it’d be fun. I did not expect this much characterization for someone like her ngl. I guess what keeps me going is the fact that she’s a fun character to write for! 

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING? HA!!! NOTHING!!! Mental illness is a bitch, I will have my down... weeks. Not days, literal weeks or months depending on how long my episodes last. It sucks, and I try to work around it but there’s not much I can do. That said, inspiration depends on motivation and want to write. As well as focus because god knows I have so little of that. 

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO I TRY BUT UNDERSTAND THERE’S NOT MUCH TO WORK WITH IN CANON YOU EITHER LIKE HER OR DON’T 

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO but I honestly should???

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES where’s the kinda opition, because I personally love her and think she’s interesting enough but I’m still working a lot on her NO

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HA HARD NO

Are you a sensitive person?  YES fun part of having ADD is that you feel emotions more intenstly, I’m naturally a senstive person too so :’)))) / NO

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES OF COURSE!!!! As someone who wants to grow more in writing any sort of feedback is appreciated! 

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   If you give me the chance to ramble about this stupid elf I will literally love you so much like I love all sorts of questions anyone may have about her!! Though I feel my rambles don’t really make much sense since I just type whatever pops in the mind and put it down as fast as I can without double-checking well enough. 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?   Sí! Again, I want to grow more as a writer and rper! So if someone were to come across a headcanon they don’t like I’d like to know why so that I can think more critically about it and fix it so that it better fits Zelda. If someone were to say “I don’t like this” without saying why it really won’t help much aside from letting me know that you don’t like the thing, which is fine and valid but pls let me know why! 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   Eh, fine with it. I honestly don’t mind if someone doesn’t like my characters, any of my characters I play as! Sometimes, certain portrayals aren’t someone’s cup of tea and that’s perfectly fine. I won’t take offense to it, at the end of the day while I’m still working on Zelda I’m happy with how much she’s grown over the years I’ve played her as... which were just two but it feels longer dude!!! 

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?   Again, I wouldn’t care that much lol. It’s just rping, it’s really not that deep. It’s no different from someone not liking a book because they just don’t vibe with the writing style among other reasons. I may be sensitive but I don’t really take a lot of things personally. 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   Ye uvub! I’m a literal dumbass behind a keyboard, don’t be afraid to say “hey this wasn’t spelled right” or “hey this doesn’t make much sense mind checking it over really quick”. 

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?   I THINK?! I MEAN HONESTLY I’M SUPER ANXIOUS AND A WORRYWART I JUST DON’T SHOW IT MUCH AAAAAAAA I’d like to think of myself as chill ;v; I try to treat others how I want to be treated and just try to be nice. Idk if I come across as that or not, it’s hard to convey feelings through text sometimes to some. 

[brittle-bone-gabe]

Please Take him Back

Summary: 13-year-old Claptrap gets kidnapped by bandits, they were going to use him as ransom, but the child had other plans...  Read of Ao3: Here

Lilith couldn’t help but take note of how quiet it was around Sanctuary today. It was unnatural, normally it was so noisy and loud and... She spun around in the map room, still holding onto the ECHOdevice in her hands, her eyes wide. Claptrap. Where was Claptrap? Normally the 13-year-old was bouncing around the map room, speaking a million miles a minute, driving everyone insane while they were trying to work on finding the Vault. Now without him and the room was silent it felt like there was a void, a void that actually made Lilith sad and lonely. 

“Whose seen Claptrap today?” Lilith called over the ECHOcommunicator as she walked out of the room, heading downstairs and outside the building. “He’s not with me.” 

There was static on the other end of the communicator. The Firehawk walked through the streets of Sanctuary. If Claptrap wasn’t with her in the map room he was normally found in the dumpster area where the last living CL4P-TP Unit lived. They were often found eating gross, thrown out pizza that Lilith had told the boy a million and one times to not eat because that was disgusting. Since the kid thought he was a literal CL4P-TP Unit he always used the excuse that he couldn’t get sick because robots don’t get sick. Then would proceed to flip her off with the pizza hanging out of his mouth as he and the real robot would kick back, laying on garbage. 

“What’chu want?” The familiar, yet obnoxious CL4P-TP Unit called, squirming out of his cardboard box house. “Get off my lawn!” 

“Where’s Claptrap?” Lilith asked, folding her arms over her chest. The little robot pointed to himself with his clamps for hands, if he could have a confused look on his face it’d be there. “No, not you. The...” She held her hand up to her side, measuring about how tall Claptrap was. “The other one.” 

“Is he not with you?” 

“N-”

“Oh god!” CL4P-TP yelled in his annoying high pitched tone, putting his clamps on the sides of his... head. “Where is my son?! What did you do! Answer me!” He reached up, grabbing Lilith by the arms trying to shake her.

“Chill out!” She said, smacking him away, “I’m sure he’s around here somewhere.”

“You better find him or I’ll... I’ll...” the little robot backed up, trying to think of something cool to say. Something.. threatening. “I’ll move every piece of furniture you own two inches to the left! Haha! You’ll keep bumping into everything, you fool!” 

Lilith rolled her eyes, walking away from the rambling robot.

“He’s not at the bar,” Moxxi finally responded over the ECHOcommunicator. Another place Claptrap would frequent, scamming people gambling, as he was able to use his ECHOeye implants to calculate what cards someone else had. Whenever the people playing poker with him caught onto what he was doing Moxxi had to shoo him out for about two hours before letting him back in. Sometime she would let him stay if he tipped enough, which the boy always gave her a nice tip just for being a nice person. 

“Not here either, thank Gods,” Marcus, the arms dealer in Sanctuary added, as sometimes Claptrap would hang out there, taunting and annoying those who were in the shooting range to purposely mess them up. Marcus would let him too, the more time Claptrap made them mess up the more time and money they would have to pay to keep at the shooting range. 

“Okay, well, someones got to have seen him, right?”

“Who we talkin’ about?” Brick’s voice now came through. 

“Claptrap.” 

“Oh, yeah... I have no idea.” 

“Thanks...” Lilith let out a sigh, heading back to the map room when an unknown transmission was coming through. “Claptrap?” She asked. 

“Attention, Vault Hunters!” A rough, on the verge of crazy sounding voice came through the ECHOcommunicator. Lilith narrowed her eyes as she stopped walking to listen to what they had to say. “We may have something you want.” There was shuffling on the other end of the transmission as the ECHOdevice was being moved around. 

“You guys should reaaaaally redecorate,” Lilith heard Claptrap’s voice, her eyes going wide staring down at the ECHOdevice, “Like, I get you’re baddies and everything... but headquarters is key! Clean up a little! If you feel comfortable at home you’ll feel comfortable when you’re out there killing innocent people!” 

“Shut up!” The same voice shouted at the 13-year-old. 

“Oookay!” 

“Where is Claptrap?!” Lilith demanded, getting angry. 

“We’ll return him safely to you... for a fee.” There was laughing in the background of the transmission, making Lilith even more furious. They literally kidnapped a child just to get at them. 

“How much?”

“Give us all the Eridium you got and we’ll call it even.”

Lilith thought about it for a moment. Eridium... or Claptrap? She opened her mouth to speak, until she heard the 13-year-old speak again.

“Like, look, listen, are you listening to me?” He had said all in one breath, “If you just move this here...” She could hear him moving something around, “and this... here... Look at that! You already have a more open area! Be open with your area and be open with your feelings! I should start charging for therapy sessions. That’ll be ten dollars.” 

“Eh...” Lilith finally said, “keep him for a bit.” She didn’t wait for the bandit on the other side to respond, she hung up on the transmission before heading back up to the map room. If these bandits wanted Eridium so badly they wouldn’t hurt Claptrap too badly, besides, the kid could handle himself if he needed to. 

                                                               -----

The bandit leader stared down at his old, beat up ECHOdevice that obviously seen some better days. He couldn’t believe that they just refused to pay to get this child back. Even after everything they had to do to bait him. When the Bandits first saw the kid make his way out of Sanctuary via a tiny hole in the wall that only he could fit through, they tried luring him with promises of money and Eridium. When that they didn’t work they tried some variation of saying they knew where the Vault Key was and needed someone like him to come get it. No, what did it was promises of a pizza party and he climbed right into their vehicle. 

The leader turned around, looking at the kid who somehow managed to squeeze out of the rope they had used to tie him up with earlier. He was now sitting on their counter, kicking his feet back and forth, leaning back on his hands. At least he stopped moving their stuff around... 

“Y’know, this party kinda sucks!” He said loudly, readjusting his headband that had wub wub wub printed across it in red and a CL4P-TP Unit’s eye attached. “I was expecting pizza... music... babes... dancing...” he looked at the bandit leader whose eye was twitching in response, “I mean, I don’t know what babes are, but I’d expect you guys to have them.” He pushed himself off the counter, walking up to the leader. “You need to try harder with your parties! Do you even have a funky beat?” 

“A-” 

“Doubt!” He turned around, climbing back up on the counter, standing on it so he could see all the bandits who were gathering around in the room. “You guys need to get it together! Who has the pizza? Where’s that? That’s what I was promised and I want it.” 

“There... is... no... pizza!” The bandit leader yelled, slamming his fist against the wall in frustration, causing the other bandits to jump and flinch, but the kid just folded his arms over his chest, looking down at him as he was giving him a small pout. “We lied to you! What don’t you understand about that?!” 

“Nice. You lied. To me. An impressionable child. Someone better get me a pizza in the next five seconds or there will be tears and violence.” Claptrap reached down at the holster at his side, expecting his pistol to be there, but of course the bandits took it when they got him in the vehicle. “Well... I guess there will only be tears... So not only did you lie but you stole from me! This party sucks. You guys suck.” 

“...we don’t suck...” one of the bandits mumbled under his breath. 

“You do suck!” Claptrap looked at his imaginary watch, “it’s been over five seconds so...” He took a deep breath in, letting out a horrible, annoying, ear bursting screeching that caused most of the bandits to cover their ears to avoid going deaf. ‘Tears’ to Claptrap just meant screaming and throwing a tantrum until he got his way, and with how annoying he could get he always got his way.

“Someone go order a pizza!” The bandit leader yelled over the screeching, his hands plastered over his ears. Two of his bandits left the room to go do that immediately. “We’re getting you your pizza!” He shouted at Claptrap, who stopped at once. 

“Better be extra cheese, extra sausage, and extra love!” He looked at the leader. “Make sure they say that last part, I am not kidding. I am feeling severely unloved right now and need the validation.” 

The bandit leader grumbled under his breath, calling Claptrap’s orders into the other room as they were on the phone with the only pizza place in this sector of Pandora. If keeping this child happy and quiet meant that they would eventually get their Eridium from the Vault Hunters, then fine. Whatever they had to do, right? They were going to make a profit from this... right? Please, god, let there be a profit. 

When the leader turned around Claptrap wasn’t there anymore. Oh, shit. Where did he go? How could someone who was so loud move so silently? He looked everywhere, thinking that maybe he somehow got out. 

“Hey, where did you-” When he walked into the other room he saw Claptrap digging through the box of tapes, trying to find something that would be just right for this ‘party.’ “Get outta there!” Claptrap waved an arm behind him, head still in the large back as he was throwing the tapes he wasn’t interested out and onto the floor. “Kid! Get out of there!” He tried again. 

When Claptrap pulled his head out of the box, his headband was covering his left eye and he was covered in dust since nobody touched that box in years. He was holding a single tape in his gloved hands, a goofy smile on his face as he readjusted his headband again. 

“This! This will surely get the party jumpin’!” He said happily. Claptrap walked over to the leader, holding up the tape to him. Yeah, he clearly didn’t understand what kinda danger he really was in here, and honestly? That concerned the bandits. Didn’t the other adult Vault Hunters teach him anything? Stranger danger? Was that not still a thing? 

“Put. It. Back,” the leader said through clenched teeth as he watched Claptrap go back over to the ECHOplayer, putting the tape in and pressing play. “I’m serious! Stop! There isn’t a party!” 

“Like I said, I was told that there was one, soooooo......” Claptrap shrugged dramatically, using his hands to demonstrate the shrug. “Now we gotta do this or... y’know... there will be more tears.” 

The leader flinched at that word, knowing that it just meant the kid would start screeching again. Maybe they should just throw him to the Skags. Yeah, they’d lose profit, but this kid was... a fucking alien. It wasn’t natural how loud he was or could be. Hell, when they first brought him to their lair he would refuse to go up the stairs, saying they were created by the devil in order to torture the poor Claptrap’s who couldn’t use them. What the fuck did that even mean? They were just stairs, it wasn’t a big deal, especially since he had functioning legs. Eventually they had to drag him up. 

“Fi...fine. Just... keep quiet. I have to make a call.” The moment he turned his back and took out his ECHOdevice the funky music that Claptrap had picked had been turned up all the way. Great. This was going great. 

                                                             -----

Lilith was going through their next course of action with Brick in the map room, actually enjoying the peace since they knew that Claptrap was out there and would most likely be returning home soon. He was like a puppy, once he got too bored he would dig his way out of wherever he went and come back home as if nothing had happened. It was just a matter of time, or, hell, maybe the bandits would get so fed up with him they would just force him to leave. That’s certainly happened before, and it would happen again. When people see Claptrap and find out he’s also a Vault Hunter they underestimate him, thinking he was just some stupid kid who was in over his head, but once he got into the fighting mood he was a fighting machine. If he used his robot hacking gloves? The fight was over; he could take control of any robot he got his hands on, making them move like his puppet. Surprise, surprise the Vault Hunters had to tell him to focus and stop making the robots dance so they could get the fight over with. 

“Okay, so if we-” Lilith was cut off when a transmission was coming through on her ECHOdevice. “What’s up?” She said to the unknown transmitter. The moment she allowed the transmission go through she instantly regretted it. In the background she could hear Claptrap singing, encouraging the other bandits to join him dancing to the stupid music that was playing. 

“Okay, I’m willing to lower the ransom,” the bandit leaders voice came through, sounding almost defeated this time around. 

Lilith raised an eyebrow, folding her arms over her chest. “How much?”

“A thousand dollars.”

She didn’t say anything.

“Five hundred dollars.” 

“No, no, no! You idiots!” Claptrap’s voice could be heard in the background again. ‘It’s one and two and twirl! Don’t you know anything?!” He groaned loudly, the sound of him smacking his own face in frustration, “are you trying to make cry again?! The dance is simple! Just... okay. Lets all take a deep breath... and.. sTOP ACTING LIKE IDIOTS! Todd! C’mon, man! You got this! I know you don’t have two left-goddamn-feet!” Something shattered to the floor. 

“Sounds like you have him under control,” Lilith finally said, about to hang up the transmission. 

“No, wait!” The leader said, making Lilith stop, “please just take him back. Come get him. For free.” 

“Free?”

“Free?!” Claptrap demanded, “am I worth nothing to you bastards?! I showed you the joys of dancing and life and this is what I get?!”

“Please hurry...” the leader said before ending the call. 

“I guess we’re getting Claptrap.” 

The bandit leader sent their coordinates on the map, surprisingly not too far away from where Sanctuary was located. Brick drove them to where they needed to go with Lilith in the passengers seat, her gun ready just in case anyone or anything tried jumping out to surprise them. Were they really ready to get Claptrap back? Especially since they could hear how riled up he was over the transmission. Oh boy, what a night this was going to be. 

Once they reached their destination the Vault Hunters looked at each other in surprise. All bandits that should’ve been inside the hut were all outside in the snow, looking scared, scarred for life, and overall exhausted. Claptrap wasn’t that much of a hassle, was he? 

Brick took out his gun before they got out of the vehicle. All the bandits just pointed inside the hut without saying anything. They were just ready to have peace and quiet away from him. 

They shrugged, going inside. The hut was a huge mess. No, that was an understatement. It looked like a tornado went through and crashed the place. Yeah, that was Claptrap’s doing. 

Claptrap was sitting on the kitchen counter, the music still playing as he was rocking side to side to the beat as he took a bite of his pizza. Extra cheese, extra sausage, and extra love just like he ordered, the bandits didn’t even care that the guy taking their order laughed at them for that last request. 

“You saved me!” Claptrap said happily, hopping off the counter, grabbing the extra large pizza box. “This party was a drag!” He walked up to the them, offering them a pizza by holding up the box to them. Brick took a slice but Lilith politely declined. “They didn’t know how to dance! Can you believe that?! Savages!”

Lilith cleared her throat, putting a hand on Claptrap’s back. “Lets go back home,” she said, guiding him out with Brick behind her to make sure there weren’t going to be any sneak attacks. 

As they were walking back to the vehicle, Claptrap turned around, walking backwards to look at the bandits. “Okay, so I think I was a great teacher today! So I’ll be back next week to see how the routine is doing!”

Lilith and Brick never heard bandits begging for someone to never, ever return. 

[the-voice-of-hell]

Rent is Theft, part 23

Read from the beginning here, read the previous chapter here.  Note:  My MC is a Filipina trans woman and I am not.  If you have notes on that or anything else, hit me up.

                                                      ***

      I turned on the fans, turned off any lights I’d missed before.  Don’t panic.  The quick increase in the heat was counter to what the internet said about concrete, but maybe that was just because it’s a rather thin layer of the stuff.  Nothing supernatural in that, right?

      We drank our water.  I unlashed the twine that bound the ottomans into my fake bed, so we could space our bodies out a bit more as we lay there.  I retied them into two beds, as much as I didn’t want the extra labor.  You lay on three ottomans in a row, they’ll slide apart on you over time, and your body will be unconsciously tense as you try to hold them together.  That would be more work, ultimately.

      So we were on two improvised mini-beds, three feet apart, like a Hays Code era film about a married couple.  No implied fucking in this household.  The conjugal bed is hidden in the attic, along with the gay stuff and prospering criminals and other contraband concepts.

      “Did I apologize for this yet?,” I asked.

      “Yeah, stop doing that.”  She rolled the bottle on her forehead.  The cooling effect wouldn’t last.

      “Maybe we should talk about something to take our minds off the heat.”

      “I can’t think of what.  I don’t wanna tell cute stories when it’s like this, because when I think about the story after that, I’ll think about being hot.”

      “Yeah.  I could play music.”

      “But... same thing.”

      “Oh yeah, even worse.  I know whenever I hear a song I’ll remember other stuff that was going on when I played it before.  Maybe we’ll just talk about cold things, see if we can trick our imaginations.”

      “I don’t think my imagination is that good.”

      “Alright I thought of something I can do, but will you be OK just layin’ there alone?”

      “You’ll be here with me, right?”

      “You bet.  I was gonna go on my laptop and try to get more job interviews.”

      “Good idea.  Thank you, Courtney.”

      “You don’t have to say that.”

      I got my laptop out of the living room and brought it in.  I knew running it in that heat was a bad idea, but was getting desperate.  I lay down on my belly, chin propped with a thin pillow, arms dangling over the edge of the ottoman to my compy.  I turned it on.

      It took only a little longer to start up from nothing, but once I was past the loading screens, I found performance still very laggy.  Slow background startup operations, I’m sure.  But I had a bad feeling and kept my eye glued to the bottom right of the taskbar.

      I was waiting for a specific program to load - one that monitored motherboard performance.  I wouldn’t have to open it, because once it loaded from startup, it would display the processor temp right there in thumbnail.  A useful little thing.

      The thumbnail was only part visible glowing red beneath a pop-up window from the program.  “Excessive heat alert.  Shutdown recommended.”  Shit.  That made it official.  I couldn’t afford for my computer to melt now, so I turned it off.

      “My computer won’t work.  There goes that idea.”

      “Ugh.  I’m sorry.”

      “We apologize a lot, don’t we?”

      She seemed like she wanted to turn her head to face me, but that it would be too much exercise in her current state, and gave up after the most fleeting glance.  “Sorry about that.”

      “Love you.  I’ll think of something to talk about.”

      “OK.  Just remember.”

      “Nothing that will remind you of this later.  Roger.”  I drank my warm water and pondered it.  There was another knock at the door.  Fine.

      The doorknob was as hot as a hot shower now, initially shocking to the touch, but not scorching.  I got it open.  “Deandre.  Kids.  Pretty messed up, huh?”

      Deandre said, “Yeah.  Feels like we should all get out while we can.  This can’t be safe.  What are the odds they see us if we just use the stairs, go down one more floor, and hide out in the hall?  Ain’t nobody lives on that floor.”

      Knobby asked, “Are we gonna be alright?  I’m, eh, gettin’ kinda...”

      “I don’t know guys.  You could try it, I just...  I’d hate so much for any of us to get caught now, y’know?  It makes me sick.”

      “Heat can make you sick,” said Olivia.

      “I know it,” I said.  “I say, do what feels right.  I can’t tell you what to do and I wouldn’t want to.”

      “That’s the problem.  Nothing feels right,” said Deandre.

      “Well, until you make a move, drink plenty of water and rest as much as possible.  Guy said one hundred twenty-five degrees for three hours, but that’s up there.  Shouldn’t be that bad down here.  It shouldn’t.”

      “Yeah.”

      Me and Leimomi drank more water, as best we could.  It’s hard to chug when your body is starting to cook like a hot dog.  I searched my mind in increasing desperation.

      “Erotic Grime thriller.”

      “What?  Why?,” she asked.

      “Because it was the first thing I thought of, and the less we think of that guy sexually, the better.  You won’t wanna remember this later and you won’t.”

      “Heh.  Fuck it, OK.”

      “So Grime is a fast-paced computer programming man in the fast-paced world of computer programming.  The office is abuzz with activity.  It’s crunch time.  That’s when a product is about to hit a big milestone and we’re lagging behind expectation, so we all have to work extra hours.”

      “You’re there?”

      “Naw, no thanks.  Funny I was thinking of myself as part of that world.  I never do that, these days.  Maybe it was because I’ve been looking at job listings.

      Anyway, Grime is burning the midnight oil.  He’s wearing his skinny jeans and one of those ‘communist party’ t-shirts that has Karl Marx and Lenin with lampshades on their heads and bottles in hand.”

      “Don’t know that one.  Hard to imagine.”

      “It’s a bright red t-shirt.  It shrank in the wash a little bit.  Not enough he would throw it away, but a tighter fit than he’d usually go for.  In the cold late fall weather his nipples are pressing against the cloth.”

      “Ooh.”

      “Yeah, they’re ‘green’ buildings, so management skimps on AC in summer and heat in winter.  So Grime is there, nippin’ out, but typing so fast, like Sick Boy in Hackers, green matrix code raining down across his screens.  He’ll win the day.”

      “Does he have cool sunglasses?”

      “Is that hot?”

      “We’re all too hot right now, Courtney.”

      “His midnight black wraparound shades are ink dark portals to a level of Hell that is pure ice.  I think there was one of those in Dante’s Divine Comedy.  But yeah, frost is forming on the keys.  He has to step back, lest he freeze the whole desk like a liquid nitrogen bath.”

      “I can’t imagine it.”

      “Point is, he’s sexy action cool.  And he thinks he’s alone, but he’s wrong.  A sound from several cubicles away makes him leap for the katana at his deskside.”

      “Like a ninja sword?”

      “Exactly.  They let guys have those if they have enough corporate spirit.”

      “OK.”

      “His blade flashes like blue lightning, but nobody falls to his deadly moves.  He sees a guy step into the hall.”

      “A guy?  Huh.  A guy?  Are they gonna..?  Is there a girl in this one?”

      “No way.  It’s old school slash, baby.”

      “Does that mean..?”

      “Yup.  So he sees the guy stretching and is embarrassed.  He tosses the sword into a nearby cubicle, hoping he isn’t noticed.”

      “What’s the guy look like?”

      “He’s a silver fox.  Name is Michael Haeckel, he’s like six foot four.  Not chubby like Grime but not too skinny either.  You can tell just because he’s that tall and has big hands, he’s packing *redacted*”

      “Whoa.  Is he real?  Did you used to work with him?”

      “Yeah.”

      “Is it OK to make a dirty story about somebody else?”

      “I dunno.  We’re getting broiled like baby back ribs in here.  Ethics can wait.  Anyway, Michael was kinda sleepy and started to get *redacted*”

      “Can that happen?”

      “If you’re sleepy enough and you are packing *redacted* in my story.  So the outline of *redacted* is pretty visible in his acid wash jeans, and Grime is like, whoa, shit.  He hopes he wasn’t noticed.  He lucked out.  Michael does notice his situation though and picks up a clipboard fake casual to hold over his *redacted* while he goes to say hi.

      ‘Hey Graeme,’ Michael says.  ‘Hey,’ says Grime.  They talk about work, and how other guys don’t have the dedication like they do, to work so late on crunch.  Randomly, the subject of donating to charity comes up.  All the tech boys do it for tax breaks.”

      “That’s nice.”

      “It would be better for the world if any of those pricks paid their taxes.  Michael mentions that he’s giving to some LGBT charity.  Grime says that’s cool, but wonders why Michael feels like that’s a good one.  After all, he’s married to a lady and stuff.”

      “Hm.”

      “He says he’s actually bi.  One time in college he had sex with a dude and feels like it was beautiful and nobody should be judged for love.  Grime is like, cool, but you have been with nothing else but ladies forever.  Do you still feel bi?”

      “That seems rude.”

      “So does the funky bass music starting to play out of thin air - the sounds of love are soon to come.  Michael says, ‘Yeah,’ and they have a big moment.  Sexual tension in the air so thick you could cut it.”

      “Hm.  He’s six foot six?”

      “Yup.”

      “Silver fox?  Like a furry?”

      “Sure, why not?  So the guy says, ‘Maybe my wife doesn’t mind if I do stuff sometimes,’ and Grime is like, ‘Oh shit, I’ve never been with a dude before.  Is this really happening?’  And Michael is like, take it slow, and they do.”

      “Like taking off their clothes slow and stuff, or *redacted* slow?”

      “The first one.  Michael suggests they just watch each other *redacted* for a few minutes, see how it feels.  Grime and him are alone, think it’s funny.  Why not take advantage?  They *redaaaaaaaacted*”

      “Cool.  But I can’t *redacted* myself right now.”

      “Good.  That would be unethical, maybe.  I don’t know, whatever.  So the guys are showing each other what they got, and Michael is like, ‘Damn, Graham, what you wanna do now?,’ and Grime says ‘Graeme,’ but kinda chokes on it because he’s *redacted* like it’s water in the desert.  Oh. reminds me, drink some water, babe.”  I did the same, hard as it was.

      “So,” I continued, “Grime is *redacted*  Michael has to push him back a little and say, ‘Easy there, tiger.’  And that makes Grime all sad because he was fixin’ to experience *redacted*  That thing is too magnificent.”

      “What’s it look like?”

      “It’s like a white dude’s *redacted*, y’know, all *redaaaaacted, includes missile metaphor*”

      “Wow.  Haha, his *redacted* is the bomb.”

      “True.  So Michael says he wants to *redaaaaaaaacted*”

      “What’s it feel like, for somebody to have their *redacted* on a *redacted* ?”

      “Kinda crazy, like you got two *redacted* in a wrestling match, daring each other to make a move, but they can’t.  Not without help.  So Grime grabs *redacted*  He remembers to check in with Michael, because he doesn’t want to lose his privileges.  Michael lets him know, yeah, he’s doing it too *redacted*

      So he loosens up his grip a bit, and *redaaaaaaaaaaacted*

      “Yeah.  So they’re *redacted*?”

      “Yeah, y’know *redacted*  Does that make sense?  Anyway, it feels real good.  They’re feeling it, because *redaaaacted* lightly while *redaaaacted* tightly.”

      “That was a rhyme.  You should be a rapper.”

      “Oh yeah.  That’s a good job.  Where do I interview for that one?”

      “Sorry.”  She drank more water.  “Go on.”

      “They can’t take much more of it.  *redaaacted* so they gotta step back.

      So Grime is looking at the big man’s *redacted* and feeling inadequate, feeling like a child.  The guy senses his hesitance and says, ‘I like what you got, kid.  Let me see that.’  Then he goes down to his knees, taps an office chair to suggest Grime sit down in it.  Our boy rolls into position.

      He isn’t feeling it that much, like, *redaaacted*  But Michael gives him a look, so kind and beautiful like Obi-Wan Kenobi.  Then the older guy nuzzles Grime’s *redacted*  He feels Michael’s beard on his *redacted*  It feels crazy, but he knows he can't just *redacted* because it would scratch up his *redacted*

      Then Michael *redaaacted*  Grime is lightheaded, feeling like he might *redacted* at any moment, *redaaaaaaacted*

      But then Michael relents, right as Grime is about to *redacted*  He leans back and says, ‘You wanna feel this *redacted*?’  He’s gesturing to his *redacted*  Grime is speechless.  How can he say yes?  He’s never done anything like that before.  But still, he agrees.  Sometimes you hafta jump in the deep end.”

      “Whoa.  You think Grime would take a *redacted* in the *redacted*?”

      “Probably like it better if it was *redacted* but I bet he would.  Y’know, it’s just a story though.  Grime could have two *redacted* and taste like rose water if we wanted.”

      “Two *redacted* and he can *redacted* a furry?  OK.  Tell me about it.”

      “For real?  Grime has two *redacted* now?  And I’m supposed to get real about the furry thing?”

      “You mean he wasn’t really a furry?”

      “I guess he could be.  What kind of furry do you like?  Wolf boys?  Horse boys?”

      “Um, you said he was a silver fox.  And now Grime has two *redacted* and he wants to get a *redacted* in his *redacted* for a first time.”

      “Hm.  So Grime’s *redacteds* are kinda hanging there, like *redacted* but as soon as the older guy suggests *redacted* they both *redacted*

      “Why couldn’t Grime have had two *redacted* instead of the red hands thing?”

      “You really picturing that?  Because it’s just kinda abstract to me.  Hard to call the image to mind, really.  For me.”

      “I was thinkin’ like what it would feel like to have both in my *redacted* at the same time, be all filled up like that.”

      “Damn, baby.  I’d like to see that.  But I can’t *redacted* right now.  It’s too hot.”  I took a drink.

      “I know.”

      “Before I go on, should I describe the fox *redacted* looking like a fox *redacted* or a human *redacted* that maybe has some more hairs on it?”

      “What’s a fox *redacted* look like?  Don’t do it if it’s real weird.  That’s just gross.”

      “I don’t know, but I’d imagine they look like regular dog *redacted* which are pretty fuckin’ gross.  Moving on then, the silver-furred fox man stood up to his full height, his long human-like *redacted* brushing against Grime’s *redacted*  It was time for Grime to *redacted*

      They pushed all the printers and folders and three by five cards and highlighters and shit off of the desk, and Grime sat himself there with his legs up in the air.  Fox Michael probably made a sound like a fox makes, whatever that is.”

      “A howl, probably.”

      “Probably he howled.  Sometimes a howl is a mournful sound, the baying of bloodthirsty creatures on the moors, singing how theirs is a life of pursuit, of famine and violent feast, and eternal scraping in a social order from which the only escape is death.  But for the horny fox man, the howl is of Looney Tunes-esque hubba-hubba awooga-styled lust.  He rubs Grime’s *redacted* all over with his big fox paws, giving him little scratches with his short sharp claws.  Grime finds that exciting and bites his lip.

      Then Michael *redaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacted*

      “What are Grime’s two *redacted* doing?”

      “They’re wondering why they only have three *redacted* between them and not four.”

      “Three *redacted*?  What would that be like?”

      “Three *redacted* is good when you’re rubbing them on a regular set of two, because the *redacted* go between each other, don’t butt against each other and get sore.  It’s pure sensation, like God intended.”

      “Damn.  That makes me wish I had three *redacted* Courtney.”

      “Would you also like two *redacted*?  While we’re handing out body parts, it’s OK.”

      “No, I don’t know if I could have *redacted* right.  I don’t know.”

      “It’s OK, I prefer you with *redacted*  I mean, if you have a *redacted* and three *redacted* that might be kinda hard to *redacted* without being like you’re getting kicked in the *redacted* all the time, so you have some decisions to make.”

      “I don’t know what to do.”  She seemed a little upset.

      “It’s OK, babe!  It’s just a game.”

      “Ugh, sorry.  It was just the heat.  That would be weird if I was sad about pretend *redacted*”

      “Oh good.  I love you too much, honey.”

      “I’d laugh but it’s too hot.”

      “I understand.  Do you want me to keep going?”

      “Can you?  It’s bad in here.  Real bad.”

      “We’re just trying to kill time.  How much time have we been doing this?”

      “I dunno.  Feels like hours.”

      I got up the will to look at the time on my phone.  “Oh Christ.  It’s only been eleven minutes.”  I sobbed once, before I even noticed what I was doing.

      “Don’t cry, Courtney.”

      “You’re right,” I choked it down.  “Gotta conserve my water.”  I took another drink.  “So Grime is holding his *redacted* together loosely, one palm over the *redacted* kinda *redacted* so he doesn’t *redacted* before the fox even gets started.  Michael *redaaaaacted*”

      “Uh huh.”

      “Maybe I should be doing Goldilocks and the Three Bears.”

      “Whatever’s easiest.”

      “I guess we’re already here.  And I’ll have time to get through the whole fucking Grimm Brothers catalog.”  I almost cried again.

      “It’s OK.  You can stop, and we’ll just...”

      “No, no.  I can do this.  So Michael has his *redacted* all *redacted*  It’s *redaaaaacted*  I think if Michael is basically so humanoid his *redacted* looks like a *redacted* he’s gotta have a tail and an animal head.  So his tail is wagging like a happy dog and his face is all, again, awooga awooga.  You know, like a cartoon wolf when he sees a hot chick.

      He *redaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacted*

      Meanwhile, Grime is losing his mind.  He’s insane with ecstasy, didn’t even know it was possible to feel that good.  But he can’t get it together to help out, or say something, or do anything yet.  His mind is a technicolor CG explosion, like a commercial for expensive fruit juice.  Meanwhile his grip on his own *redacteds* has firmed into a stiff claw shape, like he’s clutching a stick shift in a muscle car.

      Finally, sometime around *redacted* Grime gets his brains back.  He says, ‘*redacted*’  Michael is ready and *redacted*  Grime knows if he actually *redacted* he’s gonna *redacted* on the spot, *redaaacted*”

      “Holy shit, Courtney.”

      “So Grime knows it’s basically game over, but he doesn’t wanna go out like a bitch.  He’s gotta get Michael to *redacted* somehow.  He knows he has practically no chance, but he begs for it, hopes that’ll work.  ‘Michael, *redacted* please.  I need your *redacted* dude.’  Michael likes that, but will he do it?”

      “I don’t know.”

      “You could make that up.  No pressure.  But does he *redacted* first?”

      “Yeah, but I can’t say it like you.”

      “OK, maybe I can teach you how someday.  You can be my bard apprentice.  In the meantime, Michael felt his *redaaacted*  His mind turned inside out, his mirthful expression went slack as lust stole the blood from his brain, then his eyes bulged and nostrils flared as...  I forgot he has a fox head.  Let’s say his long pink wet tongue flopped out the side of his mouth and he rolled his muzzle around and his ears went like... helicopters or whatever.

      Just for funsies, let’s imagine *redacted*  When it’s *redacted* hitting Grime’s *redacted* he feels a thrill *redacted* and he knows he actually won.

      He gets each *redacted* in a medium firm grip and they *redacted*  For whatever reason, *redacted*  Each got *redacted*  Grime’s *redacted* was *redacted* but in his excitement, and with his *redacted* it *redacted*  A *redacted* in a magic instant, then *redacted* their *redacted* like in the fancy grocery store, where they got those little pipes that spray water on the lettuce heads.  You know what I’m talking about?  Remember seeing one of those?”

      “OK, but it’s *redacted*?”

      “Yeah, it’s Grime’s *redacted* and it’s *redacted*  He yells in joy and then sucks in his mouth and bugs his eyes.  Oops, he thinks, somebody might be around.

      Michael *redacted* hastily, but not too fast, just to avoid accidents or discomfort, and uses his tall vantage to look around over the tops of the cubicles.  There’s nobody in sight, and he says as much.  He takes a wad of tissues out of a box and dabs up the *redacted* on himself while he watches Grime recover.

      He’s not recovering fast.  When Michael *redacted* the sensation prolonged his *redacted* even more, though there wasn’t much *redacted* left to *redacted*  It was kinda pathetic, just his two *redacted* rapidly *redacted*  Michael could see Grime’s *redacted* in the crappy green lights and the way they *redacted*  Grime’s head lolled and all he could say was ‘oh man’ over and over again.”

      “Oh fox man.”

      “Good catch.  I guess Michael’s probably lapping up the *redacted* from his muzzle and chest, leaving dabbed tongue shapes on his shirt.”

      “They didn’t get naked?”

      “I don’t remember.  That’s a missed opportunity.  Coulda said what they look like naked.”

      “Fox man and two *redacted* Grime.”

      “It’s true.”  I exhaled.  It would have been a sigh but I didn’t have the strength to muster a good inhale at the beginning, just weakly deflated my shallow lungs.  I had to hork down some air a moment later to make up for it.

      “You OK, Courtney?”

      “Ugh.  Sorry.  Let’s drink more water.”

                                                        ***

   Read next chapter here.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Lithuania brings yellow fever to Rotterdam 2021

...okay...

...I feel the rhythm...

*swoosh*

...something’s going on here...

*another swoosh*

The music flows through my ve-e-e-ve-veins𝒔𝒔𝒔𝒔𝒔𝒔𝒔

---------------------

IT’S TAKING OVER MEEEEEE

oh NO IVETA WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE IN LITHUANIA REVIEW GO HOME

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

‘Bout the fucking time I am gonna talk about our bois, eh?

The Roop formed somewhere in around 2009, back when the lead singer Vaidotas Valiukevičius probably felt like he needed to be in a band, after many years of twists and turns of being a solo pop sensation and then it all ceasing a year prior. In 2009 he did get to cross paths with the drummer Robertas and the guitarist Mantas, one of them not being very fond of working with a former pop sensation but eventually giving into it. They had a small start, kinda went nowhere, but in the end they did start get some gigs at some point, and the gigs were small. For a band existing for so long and needing recognition, something eventually happened and they ended up on the Eurovizijos 2018 with “Yes, I Do”, which is more closer to the band’s older repertoire, because of course, they hadn’t hit big with their new sound just yet.

And when I first heard it, I was mindblown how good and stylish did it sound??? Yeah, somehow, I would never have had this sort of expectation in my life that I would’ve been mesmerized by a band I’ve never heard of (but I’ve heard of its lead singer and his past career but haven’t thought of him in years), but it’s just nowadays the thing that happens to me, when artists I don’t have many expectations for by name just slay my existence. (Major paragraphs about one such act coming up on my last review before the 2021 final)

What clicked with me is that song has the undertones about overcoming depression, because Vaidotas was diagnosed with one a year earlier, and it’s coming from Lithuania of all countries... Lithuania, the fucking country that’s number 1 or at the very least top 5 in suicides in handful of categories. And I would’ve loved to see us send such anthem of hope and light for those in need of it, but alas... we preferred love story and husband on stage (who broke up with her anyway sometime later because mutual reasons idek). Not that I’m mad, but it left me miffed and clamouring for The Roop to one day make their big Eurovision break.

And they did! 2 years later we saw the group re-emerge in the new Lithuanian NF’s format, Pabandom iš naujo 2020, with a song that’s different to their usual back-then style, the sleek and quirky dance hit “On Fire”. All was swell and we were actually doing well in the odds and were many people’s faves, but once again, for The Roop it was not meant to reach their dream of reaching out to more audiences, for that Eurovision that they were going to was cancelled, but the panini didn’t stop them, and they still ended up becoming one of the biggest current Lithuanian acts, still getting gigs during the panorama and all that, and awarded for all they had to be awarded for in the Lithuanian Grammy’s equivalent M.A.M.A. This indeed was just the beginning for them. Oh right and they also won the German Eurovision event thingy in place of the real one. And got a silver plastic miniature of the Eurovision trophy. Life is fine.

Then they got a record deal with Warner Music Baltics, went to Finland to do some music work with another Warner branch, and that’s just a part of how “Discoteque”, their entry, was born. It’s a dancy upbeat song, and its lyrics are all about the freedom to dance alone. Nothing to do about quarantine eventhough the “alone”ness suggest otherwise, lol.

REVIEW

I was craving this moment ever since. Though, I kinda thought that the “Discoteque” title was weird on the first glance at the participants/entries list, and not because of it being written without an h. It’s because... The Roop? Going funky? Throwback-esque? After the modernity that “On Fire” was?? hmmm k show what you got mwah mwah xx

And then when it released, it hit me very unexpectedly. Like. Okay. This sounds weird. Very bass-driven, in a way. It has an opening monologue, and a clicking chorus with a KILLER INSTRUMENTAL SECTION???? The one where it makes their hands go crazy when it goes on???

There’s just so much that was put into “Discoteque” that makes it stand out. They even explained certain parts of their song in the music video’s description, like, the extremely syllabic staccato chorus harkens back to the Lithuanian folklore days the way the melody is sung, the bridge made up of odd beatbox noises is meant to symbolize the first human music to ever exist (possibly from mouth sounds), and there’s also this out of key tinkly tune on the bridge that I can’t help but note everytime I listen. As well as I like noting that moment when his voice glitches out in the intro before the verse, and the hi-hats clapping 4 times before the second verse stars. I just love me some little details.

The lyrics are somewhat simplistic, with still some grammar gripes (never heard a soul say “wounded soul” without indicating if it’s “a” or “my” wounded soul???), but at least somewhat better and less cliche than rhyming “fire” with “desire” WHO DOES THAT. But props to The Roop for simply just making people not mind that lyric (at least at large) and now we ended up with an OGAE voting winning song / contender with the “fire / desire” rhyme thrown in there. Mad respect lol. (Yeah and also not a huge fan of the “body’s shaking” line, I guess that’s just me that hates certain words/word combos or think they’re just too weird in context. Apologies)

No but for real, they have crafted and put down a LOT of details in this song, and not just it, but also the choreography (according to them, all inspired by their childhood) and the video (same inspirations as for the choreography), and the whole vibe, and the outfits, and the color scheme (predominantly yellow with purple backdrop and also checkered visuals)... every single thing was crafted out to perfection and I fucking adore it, and I couldn’t have wanted any other way. The MOVES are in THAT specific order they want, although hard to memorize in sequence though, no matter how many times the Roop taught us to dance like them. Also this finger fucker dance move which I still cannot practice without realizing mine are jerky:

No wonder you got them pointing at you, mister, shit’s hard to practice!

And the music video trajectory, oh the music video trajectory (that is still not uploaded on Eurovision’s Youtube channel for some reason. Has it got anything to do with Warner?). Okay, it starts with an “On Fire” callback, with the band leaving to their dressing room, and Vaidotas is by the mirror with his white turtleneck, while a riff begins and he just starts feeling the peculiarity and reveals his yellow suit, and everyone goes for a dance, firstly just with all of the crew that is back from last year (the three Roop members + dancers Marijanas and Miglė), then with a bunch of people in stylish bowl wigs, and then they go back to the dressing room for one final mirror selfie.

my absolute favourite moment is this though. ahh yeah go ahead and feel yaselves

Though I gotta ask, was this move really inspired by Arvydas Sabonis or did Arvydas Sabonis influence The Bangles to walk like an Egyptian first?

It’s yet another quirky song from them, in a somewhat less conventional but at the same time more conventional way. Might have taken me a little time to get invested in it a a bit more, but if it’s an instant success with audiences, I can’t fault them for it, absolutely.

Approval factor: Absolutely. I wanted them for a long time, I am not disappointed. Follow-up factor: Both songs from The Roop are amazing, and also, LRT trusted in them to participate in the next selection once it will be held, and so they did give in, and LRT appointed them an automatic spot in the NF final (which they haven’t done since 2008), and they won fairly and squarely with an unimaginably big amount of televotes lol. We love our Roops. So the follow-up is just as good as the previous entry, which I still sometimes do prefer and think it would’ve stood a bigger chance to win unlike “Discoteque”, but we’ll see, we’ll see. Qualification factor: lol this is like the surest we’ve been about our qualification in years. Now I don’t wanna last-minute jinx it or anything, but we do have a slick performance and a song that’s somewhat of a clicker at first listen, so yeah, there’s your reasons why we pretty much shouldn’t fail, even if as semi openers. (And mind you, the openers to Eurovision in the 2020s, at least the actually happening Eurovision! Sorry Sweden 2020, The Mamas at least started the 2020s for Melodifestivalen xx)

NF CORNER

Now, just because The Roop were the clear standouts of an otherwise so-so NF, doesn’t mean there hasn’t been any decent songs. Like for instance:

• Gebrasy - Where’d You Wanna Go? I’ve actually been slightly rooting for this guy ever since he didn’t go by his stage name yet and sang a song co-penned by Michael Schulte (yes, THAT Michael Schulte, apparently) in 2018, and now it’s just astonishing about the amount of recognition he received with his fairly competent pop ballad piece (if it wouldn’t have done a Jurijus this year) about what sounds like a road accident. Many people said that if The Roop weren’t in this year, he would’ve won easily, but if not for The Roop, who knows how else would’ve the lineup sounded?

• Gabrielius Vagelis - My Guy Sounds like a love song to a guy, is actually about your own personal cheerleader that you can call “my guy”, I guess... simple synthpop piece performed by a competent and yet also very underrated by the televotes every single year he’s competed in singer, with his constant fashion choices additionally bringing him down a slight notch. Also would be a nice future ESC candidate, who knows when though, because Gebrasy is the main focus first, I guess.

And a few other songs I kinda liked, but I don’t wanna go too much in detail about each.

NF CORNER (NON-COMPETITIVE)

Organization-wise, we gotta say that we’re getting towards a pretty neat and tidy organized NF ever since Pabandom iš naujo format had even started. Sure, there were some withdrawal dramas from before the lineup (one of them being Evelina Sašenko who represented Lithuania 10 years ago already), and also the pressure of The Roop ending up as automatic finalists, and making some competitors feel like their tries are not worth it when there’s an obvious elephant in the room? But otherwise, not much notable has happened.

Except interval acts. Some good fucking food. Each and every time. Lithuania’s refined talentry jumped out constantly. My faves were Sisters On Wire though.

Maybe they could bring the chilled out pop rock sound that The Roop tried to carry out in 2018? Who knows.

Also this guy called Voldemars Petersons sang his entry in multiple different styles, trying to give versatile genre roulette artists a run for their money. Good for him I guess

Also, manly tears on live TV

ANY LAST WORDS?

The Roop knows just how proud the nation Lithuania is of them tonight. If I know them right, they’ll stay cool, calm and collected before the show and manage to give out their best to bring Lithuania a certified final placing, and possibly a good final finish. I am grateful for them ever having had an opportunity to showcase themselves, and I will forever look back on “Discoteque” as one of the best we’ve ever sent.

SĖKMĖS LIETUVA!!! SĖKMĖS THE ROOP!!! LET’S DISCOTEQUE WOOOOOOOOOO 💛🖖💜

[surveysonfleek]

504.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 25

2401. Does love come from the brain, the heart or elsewhere? scientifically, the brain. 2402. Have you ever given a shot? like vaccination? yes. 2403. Can you lick your elbow? nope. 2404. If i was going to be talking to you for 10 minutes, what would be something really intersting you know a little bit about but would like to know more?? the arts i guess. 2405. If today was a holiday, what would it be? a day were everyone gets to call in sick for work and enjoy themselves lol.

2406. If you were making a mix tape what would you HAVE to have one it? the weeknd. 2407. What do you think of the Sopranos? never watched it. 2408. Can you name three good things about the society you live in? every generally follows rules, respectful, everything ‘works’. How about three bad things? the minority of people who was ignorant, racist, rude etc. 2409. Have you ever had a crush on your teacher? nope. How about your boss? no. 2410. What is the difference between acting like someone in high school and acting like an adult? i guess most teens wouldn’t have the same responsibilities as an adult would have. 2411. What is the differance between a whopper and a whopper jr? the whopper jr is slightly smaller duh. 2413. Do you like: Moby? Run DMC? the Cure? Shakira? Blink182? the Pet Shop Boys? Weezer? Red Hot Chilli Peppers? Nick cave? The Pixies? KRS-One? The Juice Crew? not a huge fan of any of these artists. 2414. Have you ever seen a movie in 3D? yes. 2415. How difficult do you think it is for immigrants to come into your country? it is extremelyyyyy difficult now and it doesn’t matter where you’re from. it’s crazy. How difficult is it for them to become citizens? yes. 2416. Do you have what it takes to go live in another country, maybe for years, where you don't speak the language as your first language? probably not. it would take a lot of work and preparation. 2418. Have you ever died in your dreams? yeah i feel like i have. 2419. Do you like Douglas Adams? Kurt Vonnegut? Tom Robbins? Philip K Dick? Orson Scott Card? 2420. What clothing size are you? 12. 2421. Does science leave room for faith? idk. Does faith leave room for science? idk. 2422. What book should our political leaders read and why? not sure. i haven’t read anything good in awhile. 2423. Why and under what circumstances are people more likely to buy brand names rather then their generic counterparts? some people are just loyal to some brands while other rely on paying more for quality. 2424. What is your favorite glass object? a cup. 2425. Do you like to window shop? not really. 2426. Have you ever loved someone so much it just turned to hate? no. 2427. What is arrogance? check the dictionary. 2428. Are you more liberal or conservative? liberal. 2429. When there is a presidential election in the USA why do we never hear anything about the third party candidtes? Do you even know who they were last time? i don’t live in usa. 2430. Are you more likely to buy one really nice expensive outfit or a couple of cheap outfits? a couple cheap outfits. 2431. If you could, would you wear everything once, throw it out and buy something new? no. 2432. Do you believe that people have a responsiblity to be: good to other people? good at their job? helpful to the earth(not litter, recycle)? aware consumers(not buy animal tested products, not buy products that were made in sweatshops, etc)? non-wasteful (not spend their money frivolously when they could save it to help others)? charitable (donating money, volunteering)? yes to all. Which of the above are you? i’m generally good to other people, good at my job and non wasteful. i need to work on the rest. 2433. How do you feel about the internet? for the most part it’s great. convenient, entertaining and educational at times. Should there be laws and censorship on the internet? yes of course. 2434. Can you think of any questions that aren't already on this survey? no. 2435. Does sleep seem like a little death to you? no lol. 2436. Have you ever seen(and if yes, what did you think of): Joy Ride? Ghost World? Monsters Inc? yeah, it’s a classic. Queen of the Damned? Office Space? 2437. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real? about 5-6? 2438. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: maybe 15. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: i rotate between the same five. 2439. How many lovers have you had? one. 2440. Have you ever had surgery? For what? no. 2441. What puts you in the mood for sex? just the lead up to it i guess. 2442. Have you ever been on alcohol or drugs while at school or work? no. 2443. What do you think of Martha Stewart? i don’t really have an opinion. but i did enjoy her show with snoop dogg. 2445. What do you think of: British people? Australians? Americans? Canadians? Mexicans? French people? Germans? i could totally answer this section but i don’t wna come off as stereotyping these nationalities. 2446. What do you do to cure the hiccups? i haven’t had hiccups in years. 2447. What is the FIRST thing you do when you come home from school or work? get changed. 2448. Are you a slob? sometimes. 2449. Do you have a good work ethic? generally, yeah. 2450. Are you a pack-rat? nope. 2451. Do you roll your eyes alot? not that i’ve noticed. 2452. Do you prefer b-sides or remixes? b sides. 2453. What makes the world go 'round? love. 2454. Is Blink182 punk or pop? both. 2455. Do you remember Fat Albert? yes. 2456. Do you take things slowly, as they come? sometimes. 2457. Are you laid back or tense? more tense i think. 2458. Are you insecure? sometimes. 2459. Imagine you are working in a soup kitchen. You are supposed to give each person on the line a half a cup of soup. When hungry people come up to you do you just end up emptying the cabinets for them? i would tell them to come back for seconds so everyone in the line can have an equal share first. 2460. Why can't we give ourselves one more chance? we can. Why can't we all just get along? idk. 2461. What bands do you want to see live that you have never seen? idk. 2462. Do you like raunchy songs (like that lick ny neck, lick my back, lick my pussy, lick my crack song)? hahaha that’s probably the only raunchy blunt song i enjoy. 2463. Do you think that the Beatles are still the Beatles without John Lennon? never really a fan so i can’t comment. Would you want to see the Sex Pistols without Sid Vicious? no. Did you think that the members of Nirvana were smart to reform as the Foo Fighters instead of trying to stay Nirvana after Kurt's death? sure. 2464. Do you like the band Squeeze? never heard of them. 2465. When you are angry or upset do you know you're being irrational but you can't really stop? yep. 2466. Is there room in your life for one more trip to the moon? nah. 2467. Where are they now: Your first best friend in elementary school? no idea. your first crush? married to someone i went to uni with. your first boy/girlfriend? i’m still with him. your first love? ^ your first lover? ^ 2468. Do you have a lot of self pity? kinda. 2469. have you ever had something really good come out of something really bad that happened to you? not that i know of. 2470. Do you like magnetic poetry? what is that.. 2471. What is one of your secret delights? napping. surveys lol. What gives you a cheap thrill? youtube. What is your biggest guilty pleasure? idk. shopping. 2472. Have you ever misinterpreted song lyrics in a funny way (I used to think that 'wake me up before you go, go' was 'wake me up and buy me cocoa')? yes. 2473. What are the most popular/overused diary names? - 2474. Are you under pressure? yes. 2475. How well do you know yourself? well enough. 2476. Is 'soul' such an old fashioned word? no? Is 'love'? no. 2477. Name a person you love: my boyfriend. How do you love them? Let's count the ways... i love everything about him. 2478. Does your place have a lawn gnome? no. 2479. Do you ever wonder, 'why me'? sometimes. When? when i’m having a shitty time at work. 2480. Is rap a form of poetry? yes. 2481. What's the difference between a player and a baller? lol. 2482. What imagery do you get from the words 'woodsmoke and herbs'? someone cooking. 2483. How many days until your birthday? exactly a month. 2484. have you ever MEANT to hurt anyone? eh, kinda. 2485. What are 3 things you don't know? more than three things. 2486. Do you usually feel physically well or unwell? no. 2487. Would you ever submit your picture to be 'rated' on one of those 'hot or not' websites? no way. 2488. Why are there hardly ever any fat people in movies? because it doesn’t fit the hollywood aesthetic sadly. 2489. Is there any difference between what's real and what's for sale? i guess? 2490. Are you funky? no. 2491. Do apologies always make things all better? sometimes. not always. 2492. Let's just say that there is a huge ass bomb that can blow up the Whole Planet..it is set to blow up in 100 years. You can push the button to stop it but if you do you Will die. You only have this one chance to stop it. Do you stop it? it would have to be proven to me that it’s real first. i’m not gna kill myself over nothing. 2493. Let's say someone else found the button to stop it instead of you. Do you think it is their moral obligation to save humanity at the expense of their own life? it’s a tough decision so i wouldn’t be so quick to judge it tbh. 2494. What's the silliest name you can think of? idk. 2495. It's the middle of the night and you are home alone. Someone knocks on the door and says their car broke down and asks to use your phone. What do you do? let them use my phone but keep them outside. 2496. If a cop pulled you over and asked if he could search your car what would you say? i’d have to see if they’re even allowed to do that first. but i have nothing to hide anyway. 2497. Are you meek or nasty around cops? meek. if they’re breath testing me i just want it over and done with so i can go. 2498. If you were me and I was you then where would we be? idk. 2499. What has been the greatest invention so far? there have been plenty. power, lighting, all modes of transport, internet, all technology, medicine etc. 2500. We are at question 2500. Do you REALIZE what this MEANS??!!! halfway woo.

[lumos-star684]

All of them. Just to be a pain

Can’t believe I’m about to answer these but its either this or a marketing assignment so here goes…

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Yes! 

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

blank revision cards and raffle tickets

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

white with sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

yes

6: do you keep plants?

non but i would like to (in fact, I’m going to buy one next week)

7: do you name your plants?

nope

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

none im not very creative :(

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

yep

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

side or stomach usually

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

hmmm can’t think of this (wait you should know this any idea?)

12: what’s your favorite planet?

Pluto

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

my little niece started talking to me about flying pigs

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

like the friends apartment with loads of little quirky shit

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Venus is the only planet that spins backwards relative to the other planets.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

good ole simple pasta with tomato sauce and cheese

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

dark purple 

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i have no stories omg 

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

non

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

don’t have one in particular, depends on the person really 

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

there was my little karrimor rucksack that i had all throughout (most of ) secondary school and it broke on the day before the last day of Year 11 but still holds a special place in my heart

22: are you a morning person?

nooooooooo (unless its morning where you’ve been up all night)

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

make tea and watch tv

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

nope (i don’t have a lot of secrets though??)

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

a hotel kitchen (by accident i should add)

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

at the moment, my black boots

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

mint?? idek

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

there’s this one little shit that always sends me asks on tumblr

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

yes

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about sock

socks, my friend, are a fucking brilliant invention. i have a bit of love-hate relationship with socks because i feel like they confine your feet (i mean why would you want to lock your feet into little pockets of cloth?) but on the other hand THEY’RE SO CUTE. little socks with funky patterns and little animals and the super soft house socks as well. having said that, all my socks are black with either pink purple or blue on the foot and heel parts. SO, my favourite thing to do is always wear mismatched socks - but nobody can tell because the main part of the sock is black. It’s like a little secret I can wear all day knowing that my socks are not the same even though it looks like they are.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

we’d just left a club in prague and headed over to burger king. we sat down and then out of nowhere in the middle of prague this group of gujarati kids came and sat down next to us. I had a conversation with them and forgot that the other girls hadn’t the foggiest idea what the fuck we were talking about. we were leaving and then one of them asked me to marry him……

33: what’s your fave pastry?

er…something with chocolate? or apples

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

there was this little black dog that used to be my sister’s, i can’t remember what i used to call him but I’ve still got him somewhere

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I absolutely love them but can never bring myself to use them (I eventually did and my Latin notes are so fucking pretty)

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

Bahamas

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

messy but organised messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

when people walk slowly in the middle of the street and when people think they’re better than you

39: what color do you wear the most?

black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i have a little harry potter necklace i got for my 16th which i wear almost every day

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

me before you

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

don’t like coffee shops much

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

nobody

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

last sunday

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

no lol they’re shit

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

all puns are good puns

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

ermm dunnoo

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

can’t remember exactly what my biggest fear was, but it’s not the same as today (although probably quite similar)

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

nope don’t own any

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

empty glue sticks

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

you - la vie en rose

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

LOOL some of the trump and theresa may ones have been pretty good

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

no but they’re all on my list to watch

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

probably a stranger on the train

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

moved out 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

people tagging in posts and memes

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

currently ill in bed so i didn’t even move -_-

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

keef is the wine mom and i reckon you will be the vodka aunt :)

59: what’s your favorite myth?

there was this one where zeus was cheating on hera and when he got caught he turned the woman into a cow

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

yes! usually just snippets i read on the internet though

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

given is what we gave keef and received…i don’t think ive ever received a stupid gift?

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

sometimes yes, either the innocent strawberry and banana smoothie or the orange and passionfruit tropicana

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

music yes, it all has to be in particular playlists and books no, they’re just stacked randomly

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

bright blueee

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

you :( and a couple of people from school actually

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

tiny little black red and purple flowers

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

a bit eh actually, but also nice if i’m inside and in bed

68: what’s winter like where you live?

not great, just a bit grim and rainy and no snow

69: what are your favorite board games?

monopolyyyy

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

breakfast tea

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

1000000% yes

73: what are some of your worst habits?

picking at the skin around my fingers and overthinking (the standard tbh)

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

newcastle born and bred sarcastic little shit who can be a bit annoying but also has a heart of gold

75: tell us about your pets!

MY LITTLE BABYYYYY Goghi is my cat - black with little white paws, a white stripe down her front and a white moustache. Softest fucking fur EVER. She has one funny eye, hates people and sleeps all day. I also have about twenty fish in the pond and two little ones in a tank inside. Varying sizes and no names

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

a marketing assignment, the laundry and cleaning my room 

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

noooo idea..

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

fanclub. they’re one in a minion those things

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

little things like when people come and see me i cant think of a particular example

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

beige and nope we just painted the whole house that colour

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

*can’t remember what anyone’s eyes look like*

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was a pretty good student

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

the airborne toxic event and green day’s american idiot

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

yesss but not sure yet!

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

nope

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

i have never heard of concept albums (upon googling it appears i do like some of them, yes)

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

3 idiots, dead poets society and kuch kuch hota hai amongst others

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

non

89: are you close to your parents?

eh

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Londonnn - its just….everything (but also expensive)

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina  and hopefully a couple of other city breaks

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

drowns

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

hair down if its straight or pony tail if its curly

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

my little cousin’s birthday was yesterday

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

stay in be all weekend drink tea and eat soup

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

procrastinate, all the time

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

INTJ/INTP, gemini and ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

ncs? loved it but also hated it because i don’t like climbing

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Current favourites: Sometime Around Midnight, Vampire Smile and Wasn’t Expecting That

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

Future - five years ago i was there and twas a bit shite

oh my god you don’t know how long those took me YOU BETTER READ THEM ALL @findinganiqa XXX

[thelittleredheadedmusician]

Gotham City Ghostbusters 8

BAT-Girls

ao3

Next Chapter | Previous Chapter

To Barbara, Bruce was like an uncle and she loved being able to spend time with him. Because unlike her father, he wasn’t afraid to tell her things about the city’s ghosts and how to get rid of them. But what she loved even more was when he went out of town on business and she could get the run of the cave, especially since her accident.

Barbara never blamed Jason, even if he blamed himself. He couldn’t control his actions and she was the one who opened the door thinking it was one of her close friends. She hadn’t even thought anything was out of the ordinary until he drew the knife.

The rest of the night had been a blur of florescent lights and hospital scrubs. The way her artery had been slit meant that she should have died, or at the very least lost her leg. Thanks to modern technology, thanks to Bruce, she didn’t lose either. But what became of her leg afterward is what was being called a “phantom limb”. Like a ghost it had remained when the natural order said it should not and because of that it did not always move the way it should and occasionally felt unstable and insubstantial. Requiring her to use a crutch, even if she didn’t always need it, because there was no telling when her leg would no longer take weight.

She took this as a challenge.

Bruce believed it to be a liability, even if he never said it to her. Why else would he keep her from the cave? The boys may have been benched too but they at least still had limited access.

With him away for business though Barbara had free reign. She maneuvered herself easily between the different work tables and equipment, crutch in one hand and Wayne Tech tablet in the other. Barking orders at Tim who ran around gathering supplies for her she set to work on their much needed gadgets while Dick and Jason started with the training.

“Tim!” she called across the cave. “Do you know how to use that beautiful monstrosity of a 3D printer?”

Tim poked his head out of the storage locker he was raiding for extra electrum, “Yeah? Why?”

“Because, I’m done with the design for Steph’s bat and need someone to run the program while I get to work on those goop-a-rangs.” Tim took his armful of broken and bent electrum and dropped it into the oversized funnel that would melt it down for use in their 3D printer that was really more of a mold and metal casting machine than anything. She just liked referring to it as a 3D printer because it ran on similar programing. He snatched the tablet from her as she settled herself into a seat in front of the main worktable.

Years ago it had been discovered that a gelatinous, high-density substance could coat ghosts, stick them to walls and ceilings, and render them powerless. It was Babs’ weapon of choice when she was running around with Bruce and Dick before her accident. After it she had designed her own program to create a electrum crutch with the capabilities of firing the beloved goop. Dick had used his cave access to build it for her and Jason kept her in steady supply of the goop cartridges. She was currently trying to improve on her designs on the weaponized slime and create an armada of goop-grenades and goop-a-rangs rather than having to fire the substance from a gun like her crutch.

After running them through their paces Jason, Dick, and Damian brought over a very exhausted looking Steph, Duke, and Harper and a very mischievous looking Cass. They crowded around Babs and her table, examining the tech there. Duke reached his hand out to fiddle with a half-wired grenade and Barbara slapped it away, “Don’t touch.”

He quickly cradled his hand to his chest and shot her a wounded look that she merely shrugged off. “So…” Harper started, looking at the mess. “When do I get to build mine? You said I could.”

Babs passed her the tablet that Tim had returned and explained, “These are blueprints of previous or current models of tech in use by Bruce as well as my own designs. Anything on the tables – except these, don’t touch these –” she shot Duke a look, “is free reign. Have fun. Don’t blow anything up.”

“Do you know what is effective?” Tim asked kindly.

Harper rolled her eyes and began ticking off her fingers, “Electrum, high-voltages of electricity, and that funky gunk. Plus wards and those crazy weird laser grids.”

“Good. Have fun.” Babs said, her attention focused on soldering wires.

“What do you guys have?” Duke asked, genuinely curious.

“Well Dickiebird has those pretty escrima sticks. Only thing any of us has that’s officially Wayne Tech. They’re super high-voltage electricity on the one end. And then Babs has that wonderful crutch of hers, shoots goop. Damian has that pretentious electrum sword. Then I have these gorgeous twin pistols.” At this he pulled them out of the holster on his hip. “Fire bursts of goop. Made them myself.”

“-tt- They also occasionally misfire, coating Todd in that disgusting slime,” Damian said with a slightly exaggerated eye roll.

Jason just shrugged it off, “Eh, I’m still working out some of the kinks.”

“What about you two?” Duke motioned to Tim and Cass.

“I, have this!” Tim said a little too dramatically and pulled his collapsible bo staff from his pocket. Duke quirked an unimpressed eyebrow. “It’s like Dick’s escrima sticks so it’s got like a super high voltage taser in it, but I made it myself.”

Duke nodded, slightly more impressed and turned to Cass who just shrugged, “Me?”

“Cass can hold her own just fine but these goop grenades are going to be hers.” Babs said as she soldered a few more wires together. Cass clapped her hands and grinned while Steph bumped her hip against her friend’s side.

“Alright! It’s done!” Harper called out, holding up a monstrosity of a weapon.

“That was fast,” Dick told her, looking the large gun over. “Uh… What’s it do?”

“It shoots arcs of electricity. I want to be an electrical engineer and with access to this kinda stuff? Piece of cake,” Harper smirked proudly and propped the gun against her shoulder. Cass shot her fingers guns like Steph had shown her, causing Harper to blush a deep red. Barbara refocused her attention onto the work at hand when she heard a “DING!” from her beloved printer. “Tim! Go get Stephanie her bat.”

“Ha! Get it! I’ll be a BAT-girl!” The blonde was elbowing Damian in the ribs, trying to get their stoic youngest to crack a grin to no avail. Damian just gave her his signature -tt- before walking away.

Tim had wrapped the handle with a special purple grip tape that Barbara had picked up just for the younger girl before he presented it to Steph with a flourish. “Your weapon of choice m’lady,” he said with a deep bow.

Steph snatched the solid electrum bat from Tim with a grin, “Thanks Babs! It’s exactly what I wanted!”

“The end should flick down to reveal a button to fire a goop grenade. Also were you access the refill latch. I’ll give you them once I’m done, until then go with Tim and get a feel for it.” The younger girl smiled even wider at Barbara before skipping off deeper into the cave, Tim just behind her.

“So… What about me?” Duke asked, pulling a chair over to sit beside her.

“Well you never said what you wanted. Harper! Can you stop flirting with Cass and bring me my tablet back?”

Dick and Jason, who had been at the large computer screen behind her chuckled as the blue haired girl blushed again. Cass just smiled slyly, snatched the tablet off the table and handed it to Barbara. She pulled up the menagerie of blueprints and began showing them to Duke.

“Anything interesting?” He shook his head so she continued to show him print after print. “Nothing?” Duke frowned a little and Babs nodded. “This stuff is too impractical for you. It’s ok, you’re a smart guy! I know exactly what you’re thinking.”

“You do?” Duke asked her skeptically.

Babs smirked, that pitch was what got her top sales clerk at the bookstore she worked in part time. “Containment. What’s the good in hunting ghosts if you’ve got nowhere to put them.”

Duke blinked, “Uh, yeah actually. I was kinda thinking about that.”

Barbara nodded and opened up a new folder, the designs in here were all for capturing and holding ghosts rather than just dispatching them into the hereafter.

She once again began flipping through but this time Duke stopped her, “That! I want one of those.”

Barbara studied the blueprint he had stopped her on. It was one of her own designs, a compact, hand held vacuum like containment unit that worked on the same principle of sucking up and holding the ghost. “Now this is just a design, I haven’t tried making one of these just yet.”

“That’s ok. I can help,” Duke told her with a wide smile.

She nodded, “Pass me those pliers.”