#and i imagined post fall will experimenting with scents for fun and shit because why not who's to stop him at this point in his life?

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

i read a hannigram fic last night where op decided it was an okay thing to mention vatsyayana and my brain chemistry is fucked now.

[de-profundis-ad-astra]

One, Two Punch

Pairing: Ben Miller x Reader, kinda. Flirtationship more than a relationship Rating: Somewhere between T and M? Summary: After knowing Ben for barely two months, you’re invited to attend one of his fights. Length: ~2k words Warnings: Swearing, mentions of alcohol, vague descriptions of legally sanctioned violence, vague mentions of masturbation. Taglist:  @firefeatherx @goldenhour-goldenboy @mandoplease @mylifeliterally @phoenixhalliwell @havenforafrazzledmind @living-reminder @beatriz-silva-00 @pascalz @worldominatorx @givemethatgold @agirllovespancakes @lilacyennefer @dignityneeded @veuliee @briskywalker @the-bird-suit @mapache-lector @skylyknightly (let me know if you want to be +/-) Note: For the anon from yesterday. If you see this, I love you and if you want me to keep posting old fics, please let me know.

The day you’re invited to watch one of Ben Miller’s fights, it feels like a rite of passage.

The boys go quiet when he drops the question. So quiet, in fact, you wonder if you mistook the invitation for a marriage proposal. Suddenly extremely interested in their respective drinks, they sneak glances in your direction in the moments following. Ben’s eyes, clear and bright and… have they always been that blue? They root you to the spot, pinning you without him needing to lift a finger.

“Sure,” you say, shrugging off the odd looks and your own uncertainty. “Sounds fun.”

The fight isn’t for another three weeks, but Will practically has to drag Ben out of the bar by the collar whilst claiming that prep starts now. Once the door is soundly closed behind the Millers, Santiago and Frankie take turns explaining that Ben has never invited anyone to his fights. Well, not for a while, at least. They run you through what you’re sure is an abbreviated version of their last experience with this.

Long story short: he invited one of his previous flings to a fight, she left before the match ended with nothing more than a text letting him know that she didn’t think it would work, and they never heard from her again.

You swipe a finger down the glass–it’s started sweating condensation since they started talking. You rub the moisture between your fingertips, then take a sip, welcoming the burn as the tequila warms its way down your throat. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because it’s a big deal,” Santiago says. “A big fucking deal.”

You get it, they’re more than friends to Ben. They’re his teammates, the people he trusts more than anyone in the world to watch his back. You suppose that’s precisely what they’re doing, now. You suspect that if you were to bail out like the previous girl did, they wouldn’t let you off so easy.

Not that you would. It’s just… a lot to take in.

“I get it,” you say with a smile. “I break his heart, you break my neck, right?”

Frankie lifts his glass in a toast. “I knew you were a fast learner.”

–

The following Tuesday evening finds you knocking on Ben’s door for your usual burger run. It’s probably too early to call it a tradition, but you’re relationship with Ben, thus far, is comprised primarily of spontaneous adventures such as this. Every Tuesday for the past three weeks you’ve gotten together to eat greasy foods and talk and laugh together. So it’s worth a shot, right?

Except when Will opens the door.

“Hey, Y/N,” he says cordially, if not a bit bewildered.

“Y/N!” you hear Ben’s unmistakable voice call from further within. “Come in!”

Will steps aside, vacating enough space for you to pass. You step over the threshold, your eyes immediately landing on the small dining table to your right. And the… grain bowl he’s eating?

“I see you’ve already got dinner taken care of,” you note with a small laugh. You’re more entertained by the sight than you are upset by the fact that burger night will have to wait.

Ben’s face falls, and his fork clatters to the table. “Shit,” he scrambles to pull his phone from his pocket. “Shit.” He unlocks it, hits a few buttons, then slides it back into his jeans.

A few seconds later, your own phone’s screen lights up with an unread text. You open it and read:

have 2 take a rain check on burgers 2nite. wills got me on this ‘clean eating’ diet before the fight.

You hold up the phone for him to see, “Got it.”

Ben says a bit sheepishly, “Forgot to send it. Selective memory. Sorry.”

As much as you want to be sad that your night out has been postponed, you’re more touched by the fact that of all the things on his mind, that was one of them.

“He needs to get into work mode,” Will fills the silence as Ben shovels a heap of quinoa and chicken into his mouth and makes a show of gagging on it. “Gotta keep him focused on eating better and training.”

You think about the pack of beers you’d bought and stored in your fridge. “I take it that means no alcohol, either.”

“Nope,” the brothers answer in unison–Ben with notably more disdain than Will.

“I was winning fights before you put me on this diet, you know,” Ben grumbles around his food.

“Doesn’t mean you still shouldn’t be taking care of yourself when your putting that much wear and tear on your body.” Will points at his younger brother. “Eat.”

“You’re worse than mom.”

“Eat.”

Ben groans and heaps some more food into his mouth. “I’m not worried,” he says half to himself.

You see it then. In his eyes, he’s focused and somewhere that isn’t quite here. You look at the hard lines around his mouth and suddenly wish you could take your thumb and run it across his lower lip, card your fingers through the unruly hair he dutifully keeps under the protection of his hat. One look at his face, and you know his mind has wandered somewhere similar.

Want, need, desire, call it what you will. All that and more churns in your gut.

Will clears his throat, pulling you two back from where you teeter on the edge of the gutter and back to the present. “We’ll worry about it when it’s time to worry about it. There’s nothing we can do right now except prepare. It’ll turn out how it turns out. And if Ben does what he’s supposed to, it’ll turn out well.”

“Win that fight, Benjamin,” you tease, turning back towards the door. “And we’ll get those burgers.”

You feel his eyes burning into your back long after the door shuts behind you.

–

You don’t feel ashamed of the moment you and Ben shared. That nagging in your chest is a far cry from shame. You’d outgrown that long ago. The look you’d shared, the thoughts you had and knew he had were mild in comparison to what you knew you wanted.

You knew the look in his eyes, that unspoken promise for something more–something you completely, unabashedly craved–and your carefully placed tethers would fray and fray and fray until there was nothing to hold you back. He didn’t need distractions right now, you wanted to respect that.

That didn’t make it any less miserable.

It only takes three days before it grows so unbearable that you take matters into your own hands.

Overheated and nearly frantic, you toss and turn in bed that night until your tank top and short clink and chafe against your slightly sweaty body. You try counting the minutes until sleep takes you. But minutes turn to hours with no sign of relief.

Need crawls over you, slithering under your skin. It doesn’t take much to imagine his face, that it’s his hands on your skin, inside–

But that release only leaves you hollow–unsatisfied.

You make a point to keep your distance for the remainder of that week. Until the day of the fight, actually. By then, the tether is pulled so tight that you fear it might snap at one wrong move.

Later, you remind yourself. That unfinished business will come later.

–

The air is thick with the mingled scents of liquor, body odor, and several variants of cheap cologne. And it’s so hot. People move around you in groups, and the floor beneath your feet is sticky from some spilled drink that hadn’t been properly cleaned. The heavy beat of a rock song slam against your chest, and as you look around you think you see more tattoos than skin, more leather than jeans, and more filled cups than empty hands.

You’re not scared. Far from it, actually. The energy of the crowd feeds your own, the music heightening your excitement as you follow Frankie and Santiago through the crowd and squeeze yourselves into an open spot right in front of the cage. One of them, you can’t tell who, shoves a drink into your hand and tells you its on them.

You hold the beverage, but don’t partake as the referee begins to announce the next fighter. The first thing you see is a flash of red shorts.

Perhaps it’s for show, watching Ben make his way from the door to the cage, swaying his shoulders with each step, his eyes locked on it and nothing else as heavy metal blasts around you. You don’t exist to him. Not right now. Regardless, heat pools in your stomach. 

He takes is sweet time peeling off his shirt and stretching his shoulders. He turns away from you so Will can help him into his gloves, allowing you a full view of that gloriously muscled back. You admire each line of muscle, each movement he makes as he turns and enters the ring. To hell with all the people around you. You want that. You want that over you, under you, all around you. You could touch him everywhere at once and it still wouldn’t be enough to satisfy you–

His eyes find you in the crowd, and he winks.

If it was socially acceptable to swoon, you might have.

Maybe you did, anyway.

–

The fight itself doesn’t last long. At one point you set your untouched drink down, then promptly kick it over when you leap to your feet to cheer.

Even then, you can’t help but clinch every time someone lands a hit, skin reddening and bruising, breathing labored and shallow until a hand is being lifted in the air in victory. It’s Ben’s.

–

You wait outside the lockers with the guys. Santiago is weaving a tale from his days in Brazil that you’re only half paying attention to. You remain standing off to the side, sipping a lukewarm water, watching.

It takes a while for Ben to come out. The blood has been cleaned from his face and, remarkably, the only lasting mark is a purple-blue bruise above his cheekbone. But he’s grinning ear to ear, and he pulls first Santiago, then Frankie into a bear of a hug. You see his face over their shoulders, how hie eyes still veritably glow with the same energy you’d seen in the ring.

You push yourself from the wall you’re leaning against, and step up to them. Ben’s eyes meet yours as if by gravitational pull.

You’d felt drawn to him since the day you’d met. But this is like meeting him for the first time. A dim hallway. The crowd slowly draining out from the gymnasium. You, holding a cup of piss-poor excuse for water, and him.

The boys quietly let Ben know that they’ll catch up with him later, and melt into the meandering crowd.

The shift in his expression makes it achingly clear what Ben wants. His gaze lingers, now. His shoulders seem broader as he steps towards you, his gym bag over one shoulder, his other arm extended for you. 

“Let’s go.” His voice is different in the aftermath of the fight. You can see the adrenaline still pumping in the way his eyes lock on you.

You find your way to his body, and let him guide you outside. His hand sneaks around your waist and under your shirt, his fingers digging into the skin above your hipbone. He guides your steps with a fierceness, and as soon as you make it back to his car, his hand wanders lower, lower.

He tosses his bag into his car, refusing to let you go. Another swift motion has you pinned between the heat of his body and the side of the car.

He’s in front of you, caging you in, his fingers lingering at the waistband of your leggings, his shirt damp from the shower he just took, hair dangling over his forehead. You clamp your hands down on his biceps, digging your fingers into skin and muscle and him.

You barely have time to register it all before his lips crash into yours, and the empire of your longing comes crashing down.

Yes, you could stand to be with this for a little longer.

[welshdragonrawr]

For the Valentine's Day asks: 1-5, 7-11, 13-17, 19, 20, 22-27, 29-33, 35, 39, 41-43, 44 (fuck, marry, kill: Amanda, Audrey, Ally), 47-49 pleeeeeeease?? I know I said I wouldn't request a million but I'm a curious bean hehe ;)

Seeing as it is actually Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d finally answer these. Under the cut, because it’s a loooooong post and I didn’t want to overtake peeps’ dash. Well here goes;

(Also, the post format messed up, but I couldn’t be bothered to fix them because this already took ages so they’re just in the order asked and I bolded answers so they stand out)

do you have a crush on anyone? - I do indeed, and I am fairly certain they are well aware of it ;)

what’s your favorite candy? - It changes all the time because I have such a sweet tooth but right now chocolate-wise it’s probably cadbury or kinder chocolate, and actual candy probably haribo (tangfastics to be precise)

favorite love song? - There are too many to choose from or list here but right now it’s probably still ‘Wasteland Baby’ by Hozier, You Are In Love by Taylor Swift, or for entirely cheesy reasons a certain someone might know Hero by Enrique Iglesias 

what was your first kiss like? - Terrible because I didn’t know what I was doing and was with entirely the wrong person at the wrong time and I didn’t know it then

what was your last kiss like? - If it’s the one I’m allowed to think of in this context, pretty damn good ;)

do you prefer poems or love letters? - Both - I can’t decide, because I love anything remotely like that, when someone goes to the length of composing something like either of those because they were thinking of me? Incredible! 

favorite fanfic trope? - Slow-Burn if that counts, with a side order of fake dating or mutual pining, potentially both at once heheh 

have you ever been in love? Mayyyybeeee, maybe I aaaaam, I’ll just have to let you ponder that one ;)

favorite milkshake flavor? - Chocolate brownie, even if I can’t have too much because then it gets sickly but in small quantities? Yesssss! Or cookies&cream in any variation

dinner dates or brunch dates? - This one was tough because I don’t really have any experience with either, but I think Brunch dates, and not just because I would have much much less anxiety about awkward food ordering and stuff, plus I feel like Brunch dates have much less formal expectation about them, and you have the rest of the day after to do more things if you want to!

favorite perfume/cologne?  - Probably the Ghost one that has a bottle shaped like the moon, or Good Girl by Caroline Herrera (the bottle looks like a high heel?)

favorite candle scent? - There’s a seasonal Yankee Candle one they do around Christmas time that I cannot remember the name of for the life of me right now, but it’s just the right kind of sweetness in the air when you have it burning for a lil while? If I ever remember what it is I’ll come back and edit this post haha

what’s your ideal first date? - I’m not really sure, because all types of dates make me nervous especially first dates haha. I’d like to leave it up to the other person to decide what we do, as long as I could treat them in some way with whatever it is/wherever we go? 

favorite love story? - Are we talking classics or fandom or...? What currently springs off the top of my head though is Hades & Persephone - I’m convinced he didn’t ‘steal her’ to be a dick, he stole her away to somewhere cool and calm away from the pressures and terrors of life on the surface so she could catch her breath for a couple months, and can we blame her? And he makes her his Queen, like - if he was gonna be mean, he could have made her his slave, or his concubine or his pet or something, but instead he gave her his whole world to rule with him. Sounds like a better guy than that bastard ol’ Zeus, no? (Historians/Classics students please don’t fight me) 

what’s the most attractive thing a person could wear? - Happiness. Doesn’t matter to me whether you’re wearing a trash bag, or a Chanel dress or your faded ol’ pjs or not a single thread. So long as you’re happy and you’ve got that glow about you and that bright shine in your eyes? Yeah..

snow, rain, or sun? -  I love all three for different reasons (I’m indecisive, don’t judge me, or do) give me a snow day with my dog or my lover with hot chocolate and snowmen and flurries out the window, or an afternoon reading inside while it rains with blankets and a cup of tea, or a sunny afternoon walk with just the right amount of cool breeze to keep it balmy but bright? Yes please. But again, if I had to choose, probably rain... Because I live in England for one thing, but there’s something so comforting about the rain.

sweetest romantic memory? - My partner at the time took me to a second-hand bookshop and let me browse the stacked shelves as long as I liked, and I found a hardback copy of a book by a fave author but it was too expensive so just admired it and put it back, then when my birthday rolled around 2 weeks later, they turned up with that same book they had gone back for without telling me as a surprise gift

fictional crushes? - Cordelia Goode, Theo Crain, Mildred Ratched, I could keep listing but that means we’d be here forever and if you’ve been following me long enough you probably already know anyway...

what’s your dream wedding like? - This would need a whole post on its own to answer if I could actually be decisive and sit down with some thought over it. But alas... I don’t really know, I’d like things to be somewhat fancy and romantic, but I’d also like for it not to feel all stuffy and super serious like, that everyone can have fun and be a little goofy and a little merry and not have to worry about oh am I doing this certain thing right or feeling all self-conscious while dancing. So I’m not really sure how to narrow it down into specific details or events...? Except, there’s a really dumb nerdy part of me that wants to be able to do the cake slicing with a sword rather than a knife. Because reasons. 

what makes you blush? - Too much. Usually compliments. 

do you believe in love at first sight? - I believe in *attraction* at first sight, and *affection* you find or work for later. 

do you believe in soulmates? - Yeah, but I also believe a soulmate doesn’t have to be someone you’re in love with or a romantic partner, a soulmate can just as easily be a friend you keep on keeping on through this silly little game of life with, y’know? You’ve both been dealt shitty hands, but you’d be willing to share each others cards to get through, and some other cheesy af analogies...

denim jackets, leather jackets, or bomber jackets? - Leather jackets, tho technically I have worn and do wear all three so - I hoard jackets like some people hoard shoes and handbags, it’s a problem

are you single? - if you know you know, and that’s the that on that ;)

do you prefer to charm, or be charmed? - Both? I love to see the look on a partners face when they’re charmed, all blushing and cute and sparkly eyes and big smiles - I think I like to be charmed too but I would also get suuuuper awkward and not sure what to do with it or in response to it because I’m not used to being on the receiving end of attention like that?

guitar or piano? - I love both, and girls who can play either/both are heavensent sirens who can have me under their spell for hours (I think it’s the hand thing again, see?) but if I had to choose it would have to be Piano.

favorite romcom (or any romantic movie)? - Um... Does Love & Other Drugs count? Or Imagine Me And You - I’m not big on too many ‘traditional’ rom-coms because they make me cringe way too often, and often not in a good way, but there’s sometimes the odd one I enjoy! (Though I must admit, being British, Bridget Jones and Love Actually are like, historical treasures so...)

do you fall in love easily? - Nope. I mean, do I love people easily? Yeah I try to give the best of myself to the people I cherish as much as possible. But do I *fall in love* easily? Nah, takes a while before this oblivious lil heart realises it.

would you prefer to propose or be proposed to? what’s your dream proposal? - Oh gosh, honestly, I don’t know... I’m one of those people that *love* to do anything and everything to bring a smile to my partner’s face and make them happy and there’s just something so magical about seeing their face light up and their eyes sparkle, y’know? So I feel like I would want to do that by giving them the perfect proposal for them (but on the flipside this means I would also be incredibly *terrified* of ever doing it remotely wrong/not exactly how they wanted it, or getting the wrong kind of ring or all of that plethora of details and minutiae that could be messed up ahha). But also, I kinda wouldn’t mind being proposed to either? Like I’m so used to taking care of other people, it might be nice, at the risk of sounding like a bad pokemon promo. to have that validation of someone else saying ‘I choose you’ y’know? As for dream proposal, much like dream wedding, I’m not entirely sure? As long as it’s memorable and with the one I love? (Which is such a cop-out answer) I honestly don’t know, I’ve never really thought about it, probably because I never really thought it was happen so I figured why think about something that’s never gonna happen ahhah. Somewhere picturesque I guess? So I could really capture the picture in my mind for the rest of my lifen, not like for a social media photo post or any of that shit but just for myself to look back on, if any of that essay ramble makes any sense. 

kittens or puppies? - How DARE- Nope. It’s both. I’m sorry but it’s both. They are both adorable AF and I will love and pet and cherish them all. 

favorite soda? - Cola I guess? And don’t try to rope me into the Pepsi V Coke thing, because honestly I like both for different reasons and choosing one over the other seems silly when either of them tastes good if you’ve got enough whiskey or rum in them ;) 

do you prefer gazing wistfully out the window or lying dramatically over the sofa? - I rather like doing both tbf, but if I’m gonna be honest, give me ‘cosied up under a blanket, with a mug of hot tea/coffee gazing wistfully out the window at whatever weather is going on outside, any day.

favorite ABBA song? - How dare you - umm... Slipping Through My Fingers or The Winner Takes It All because I am at heart a soppy dramatic fool.

fuck/marry/kill? (anons name 3 people of your choice) - You meanie, how dare you make me decide such a thing. Buuuut Fuck Ally (cuz you just *know* that canon wlw got some mooooves), Marry Amanda (because she seems like someone I could get along with in all the day to day stuff y’know? Like, I could settle down with her, you feel me?) and don’t hate me but you asked the question but Kill Audrey (*runs and hides*)

do you think about love a lot? - Yeah, I think so, in all its different incarnations. As a writer I’m kinda obligated to? But I think I think about it even when I’m not super aware of it or the reasons for or why. 

a walk in the park or a walk on the beach? - It’s a tough once because I love it when the light filters *just so* through trees and looks so pretty, but the beach has the lapping waves and soft sand to walk on and pretty colours at sunsets and sharing ice creams/chips/doughnuts/pretzels and- Yeah so beach probably.

hand kisses or nose kisses? - Hand kisses, fo’sho, because haaaands

[cero-tia]

LFRP - A’panghur Tia

Please come meet the Cero of an alternate timeline--the cat he would have been if Dalamud hadn’t fallen down and conked him on the noggin. 

Full Name: A'panghur Tia

Gender and Sex: Male and about an 82 on the 1-100 Femme/Masc scale

Pronouns: He, him, his

Ethnicity/Species: Ala Mhigan Seeker Miqo'te, of the A tribe

Birthplace and Birthdate: 5th day of the 4th Umbral moon, the month of Rhalgr

Guilty Pleasures: Curling up nearly anywhere with a good book. Dancing, especially at dawn. Oranges. Herbal sachets with scents that remind him of home. Pressing flowers from foreign lands that he sends back to his sisters in the Peaks. Using his carbuncle to help him cheat in street scuffles.

Phobias:  After a time, Panghur’s letters home stopped making it through, and he stopped receiving any. His memories of home are muddled with time, as he was only 9 when he left to come to Eorzea, but he recalls the threatening armored faces of the soldiers who were already starting to occupy Ala Mhigo. He is hyper aware of Garlean influence, appearance, names, etc in the people around him, and it puts him on edge to even think about them. Other than this totally rational leeriness about the people who subdued his own, he is unfortunately without much fear (although some would argue he hasn’t got the good sense to be afraid when he should be).

What They Would Be Famous For: Probably for saving whole cities again and again? Panghur is a Warrior of Light, and was present for at least some of the campaigns that the Scions instigated to counter the threat of primal uprisings. After the Calamity, he became a prominent figure in the adventuring circles, specifically in those pertaining to the freeing of Ala Mhigo. He was at the fall of Baelsar’s Wall, and was at the battle to see his homeland freed from oppression.

I may find more depth to his story as I experience it fresh while I am leveling him–so far it is a bit vague, and I know a great deal more about how Cero managed the post-Calamity Eorzea than I know how Pangur did. Expect updates!

What Have They / Would They Gotten Arrested For:  Inciting a riot, spray painting pro-Resistance propaganda, dumb mischief (that he always talks himself out of), espionage, being a rebel in a time of oppression. Either extremely light, slap-on-the-wrist stuff, or extremely serious, bag-over-your-head-in-the-middle-of-the-night stuff.

OC(s) You Ship Them With: No OCs yet! He’s still building connections to the RP community.

OC Most Likely To Murder them: No OCs hate him that much yet, but I would love to find him a Garlean antagonist.

Favorite Book Genre:  Panghur devours tomes of magical theory and practical application. He has a large library in his Ul'dah apartment of books he’s collected over the years. Prize among them are his hard-to-find and definitely illegal-to-own books on the forbidden Black magics.

Least Favorite Book Cliche:  He doesn’t hate any books, but he just rolls his eyes at romantic bodice-busters and other hyperbolic brain rot prose. It doesn’t stop him from reading them, now and then.

Talents and/or Powers:  Panghur is a canon Warrior of Light, and his Echo manifests as a canny ability to read faces and the occasional fit of visions.

He is also a powerful Archmage, having studied at the three major schools of magic from the time he was but nine summers old. His powers of summoning and thaumaturgy are explosive and cleverly wielded, but also have the calm, controlled experience of the balance of conjury to hone them. He favors his emerald carbuncle, Emeraulde, and is not above throwing rocks when all else fails.

Panghur is also, and has always been, cocksure and precocious. As a young child he was full to the brim of magical talent, and though he has tempered his boastful confidence somewhat upon maturing, he is still very smart, and knows it, and uses it to his advantage when it comes to outsmarting Garlean patrols or haggling down a used-book vendor in the markets.

Why Someone Might Love Them:  He fights fiercely for his homeland. He loves his family and wants to make Ala Mhigo safe for them, and for everyone else’s family. He is clever and delights in making people laugh. He isn’t afraid to get down and dirty in a fight, especially if someone needs defending. He’s got a beautiful face, and the most charming freckles you ever did see over his golden desert-cat tan. If he loves you, he’ll make sure you know it every day.

Why Someone Might Hate Them:  He feels passionately about the freedom of his homeland, and can be aggressive about his feelings if he feels he’s not being listened to or taken seriously (imagine Alexander Hamilton standing on a table demanding to know ‘where the ammunition’s at’). His confidence can come off as arrogant or boastful. He likes to be at the center of the action, and can appear bossy if he gets wrapped up in what’s going on. He studies (in secret) forbidden magic. He has used his carbuncles to table top people he feels need to be taken down a peg, more than once.

How They Change:  When he began his journey to Eorzea, Panghur was a precocious child of 9, spouting off bursts of magic because he could, with little thought to finesse or control. In Limsa Lominsa, he learned how to summon, and how to make friends with dock rats and street urchins, and how to run around behind adults backs to have fun and get in trouble and explore.

In Gridania, he learned conjury, and the importance of balance, and healing, and slowing down to appreciate the small things, the quiet things, the weak and soft things. He learned how to temper his exuberance with meditation and inner-contemplation, and how to strategize.

In Ul'dah, he learned how to blow shit up. He learned a lot more about thaumaturgy than just that, but that was the big part. He learned how to sweet talk high-class movers and shakers, how to navigate the behind-the-scenes powers of the upper crust and the lowest street scum. He learned about the Resistance.

He’s rediscovering himself after waking up post-Calamity, with the world five years older and the war that much further progressed in his homeland. Now he has thrown himself into the fight to free Ala Mhigo, even as he struggles to find old friends and connections and works cheerfully to make new ones.

Why You Love Them:  I first came up with Cero years and years before I started playing FFXIV, and I had to play with his backstory a lot to fit him into the lore of the game. What I came up with was a smarter, cleverer version of Cero that had suffered a traumatic brain injury that lead to amnesia, and once I had that concept, A'panghur began simmering quietly in the back of my head.

I’m just very excited to flesh him out and see what he leads to, because he’s the part of Cero that never forgot his family, or his own strength. He’s a different personality than I often play, and I am very eager to see where his development leads!

[the-trees-have-spirits]

In mid-April of 2019, I discovered I’ve been a green witch for my entire life. I found myself wanting to learn as much about this new part of my identity as I possibly could, and to discover what I could do with it. This weekly post is to help with exactly that - to serve as a focus, a single place to compile all my thoughts, my learnings, my findings, my discoveries and realizations.

May 15th, 2019

There’s more here than I would normally write in just one week - this is to catch up on the last month.

What I’ve Tried

I tried aura reading for the very first time on Thursday, on my own hand. Most of it was clear and unreadable, but I did catch tiny glimpses of a deep blue. On my very first attempt!!  

I’m trying to make charging my morning tea a daily habit. It’s not perfected - I often forget to charge it, forget to notice results, and have a hard time focusing on visualizing. Drinking tea - and even being interested in it! - is such a new interest for me too, so there’s still much progress to be made. 

I’m also trying to make thanking the earth and the sky upon my first steps outside a daily habit, but I’m having an even harder time remembering to do that. It’s worth noting though - it was raining pretty hard the first morning I tried. I got to my car and started driving to work - and nearly immediately, the rain stopped. Like, completely. It would have been the kind of rain that makes it hard to see while driving, otherwise. But it was clear for the entire length of my drive. And it picked back up again almost right after I got to the office. That, sent chills down my spine.

I was on the local Renaissance Faire grounds on Saturday for the first time since the season ended last fall, and while there I visited one of my favorite shops for old time’s sake - what I thought was primarily an incense shop, built into a forest thicket. I had no idea that it was actually a witchcraft supply shop, until I walked into it this time knowing what I do now. The walls were crowded with herbs for sale, and loose leaf teas, and mortars and pestals, and essential oils, along with so many different kinds and scents of incense.. I wanted to stay for so much longer, and appreciate everything, maybe ask some questions of the shopkeepers, maybe even buy some things.. but I’m still in the broom closet, and I was with Tyler at the time.

I also discovered the Faire’s tea shop for the very first time, and actually DID buy some tea from that lovely, lovely shop. I also bought a diffuser, so I can play with loose leaf tea right alongside bagged tea. And there is a beautiful garden in the back of that shop for anyone to enjoy, and let me tell you, when the weather isn’t cold and rainy, and I’m back for the regular Faire season come August, I am going to spend so much time getting to know that garden.

I also noticed that there are so many other witchy shops at the Faire that I had no idea were the real thing. The herb shop, the tea shop, a candle and lantern shop, multiple jewelry and clothing shops, another shop selling I don’t even remember what but is inside another thicket, but at this one the thicket is the shop, with walls made of leaves and branches, instead of a shop getting built inside a thicket.. I cannot wait until August so I can take a closer look around, and see what exactly has been under my nose this whole time.

What I’ve Learned

Oh, many, many things already. It has technically been a month, and I haven’t been recording anything in that time until now. So to save myself the stress of trying to just remember everything, I’m just going to list what I’ve learned in the last week, and anything else as it comes up. 

My aura is deep blue. Or, at least it was Thursday afternoon. I’m not sure if it’s a permanent color, or if it changes from moment to moment. A quick google search turns up this as its meaning: 

If your aura energy is blue, you're intuitive, and you love helping people. You remain calm during a crisis. Others lean on you for support. Royal blue aura: This means you are a highly developed spiritual intuitive or clairvoyant.

How about that shit. I wouldn’t say I’m “highly developed”... but that potential is absolutely there. It is raw and untamed and I have had run-ins with powerful spiritual experiences before. 

I swear there’s some kind of magic in music. I listened to a Harry Potter ambient video on YouTube on Monday evening as background noise, the first time I poked into anything Harry Potter since learning I’m a witch, and that took me on a ride. The emotions I felt were unreal. I don’t even get that emotional anymore listening to the soundtracks just by themselves. ... there was something about that mix. I wonder what that power is, whether it’s something in me or something in the music, and what other ways it can come to call. It is unlikely I’m just making too much of it.. one of the very first things I’ve learned is that there is no such thing as coincidence.

How I’m Learning

I started off doing a little bit of googling, and haunting a Facebook group I’m a member of called DIY Witches. But now I’ve moved to mostly following and creeping on fellow witchy blogs, so if I like A WHOLE TON of your old posts at once, that’s why. Don’t mind me, I’m just collecting posts to reblog and keep, once I get to them in my likes to add to my queue. 

Honestly, Tumblr witchcraft is SO MUCH MORE informative and varied - and not to mention woke - than anything I’d yet seen anywhere else. You are my people. I am going to learn so much here. 

My Situation

I am 28 years old, work as a project manager at a full-time office job, and live in a rented townhouse with my boyfriend, Tyler. We moved in together July of 2018, have been together for almost four years now (four years in August!), and have been seriously talking about engagement. We have not been without our hiccups of varying severity, but we always work on understanding each other and finding a compromise, and things always work out in the end. I love him with all my heart and can’t imagine my life being spent with anyone else. 

I was living in my parents’ house prior to moving last July. So, this is the very first time I’m living on my own, and dealing with all the responsibilities of adulthood on top of working a full-time job, home management, and dedicating time to my relationship. Finding time for myself and my multitudes of hobbies (I have so many) has been one of my biggest challenges, and highest priorities. And I’m happy to say I’ve been mostly successful in it. I’ve even been balancing a semi-good social life with it all.  

With all that said, finding the time - but mostly, the energy - to devote entirely to witchcraft is something I have only barely begun to address. With everything else that takes up my time, and the balance I only just seemed to discover, I have not yet figured out how to add this as well. 

And perhaps the more detrimental factor is Tyler. He doesn’t believe in anything in this vein at all, and in fact has been known to make fun of it on a regular basis. It’s entirely possible it’s because he’s understanding it incorrectly, and generally just doesn’t believe in any kind of spirituality. But currently, I am not comfortable talking to him about it at all. Maybe someday I’ll talk to him about it, and reveal what I am and what I feel, and help him learn and better understand. Maybe. But for right now, I have to keep anything I do quiet, private, and hidden.

Luckily, though, I’ve already been incorporating my love for trees and all things green into every aspect of my life for the last several years. I have made no effort to hide it. I thought it was just me “living my aesthetic.” Turns out it all meant so much more than that. And, hey - it can make it really easy to disguise things that are actually witchy as just “part of my aesthetic.” So I may actually be able to do some things without being discovered. 😊

My Story

This is something that will have to wait for another post. This one is already long enough. But, just you wait. This story reveals everything, and why my blog name is what it is. 🌳 💖 ✨

This Week’s Witchcraft Posts

Energetic Healing: Waterbending Style

Browse my tags: #witchcraft [useful] ❀ #witchy [aesthetic]

[glamrus-puta]

Help I Start School Tomorrow: A Check List

Do you need some sweet ass advice from somebody who’s spent no less than 18 years struggling through the muck of academia? Of course you do! Here’s a handy-ass dandy-ass guide to wtf should be going on in your pre-school prep!

Let’s get started~

1) What should I do with my day before I go back to the hell hole that is school?

I’m glad you asked! Do things that make the start of the semester feel like a fun and luxurious adventure awaits you! Especially for college and university people, the start of the semester loses pizzazz with age (and time).

Hype yourself up with some simple self care, these things don’t have to be expensive or cost anything at all if you can utilize what’s lying around in your kitchen, bathroom, neighbour’s house or wherever.

Wash your damn hair! Shower and take all the time you need, shave if you want to while you’re in there. The goal is to feel fresh and a lil less greasy the next morning.

Are you a lazy ass that doesn’t have time to moisturize? Me too! Get some Nivea in-shower lotion if you can, and before you towel dry douse yourself with baby oil gel (or literally just some olive oil or coconut oil- whatever you got lying around). Show yourself some love!!

Now is a great time to style your hair for tomorrow and protect it with a low pony or a night cap, btw

Do a face mask! Do a hair mask! Do a foot mask! Do whatever tf kind of mask you got handy! Use foods from your kitchen, or try Freeman masks they’re around 4$ each. Dollar store prices, department store quality.

Take an hour to fix your nails, toe nails, wax the stache or do any body maintenance you usually do. Pretend you’re going to a sick ass party and you’re grooming your meat vessel to perfection.

Lay out your sick outfit for tomorrow- pro tip: you want to be comfy and functional on buses/trains/on foot or however you commute. Think hard about the kind of weather you’ll be up against, and the general state of the terrain on your commute. Put your outfit on a hanger so it’s ready for tomorrow, even if you can’t do this every night during the school year it’ll get you in the right mental state to have your first day

Prep your meds! A big part of feeling good is taking our medications on time to reap their maximum benefits. Put them out on your kitchen counter if you think you’ll forget, go through your medicine cabinet: is there anything you need to remember to take with you to have during the day? Set alarms on your phone if (like me) you’ve got pills to take at different times of day- label them something that you’ll understand. (I use the names of the doctors that prescribed them so I know which pills are physical health and which are mental health).

Pack your lunch for tomorrow. Fruits and veggies bitch none of this “I’ll buy it when I get there” nonesense. Remember to stay hydrated! Bring some kind of receptacle to hold water/tea/coffee whatever. This is a solid habit to have year round, but remember the first couple school days can frazzle you pretty good and it’s good to have snacks on hand.

CLEAN YOUR GODDAMN ROOM. You’re gonna be shooketh in a bad way if you wake up on the first day of classes with a messy bathroom and shit strewn all over your sleeping space. Take all the time you need to put things lovingly away, if you’re feeling ambitious update your calendar and spray a little room spray or light a scented candle. Ooh la la

Do something fun. Do something distracting. Go out with a friend, read a book, take a couple hours of ‘me time’. You’ll be ready to die for it during the semester.

Feeling nervous? Call literally anybody you can stand to talk to for more than five minutes. Talk about dogs, talk about boats, ask them to guess how many jelly beans you’re holding right this second (sike b the answer is 0)- take a couple steps away from the whole school thing.

2) What the hell do I put in my backpack??

So this is where I fly into an unGodly rage. I’m so tired of seeing Instagram posts telling people their make up, perfume and breath mints are the most important of their school arsenal. What’s gonna save you when you bleed through your pants at school cause Aunt Flo decides to come chill on campus? Your perfume? Unlikely.

Here’s the real tea on what you should have in your bag, based on years of oopses, dire situations, and general mishap management.

A pencil case. Preferably full of writing implements. I can’t believe I have to tell people this but like......I do.....y’all childish

MEDICAL BAG: A small pouch is all you need! Tuck this away in your bag’s inside pocket, or in your purse, it could save not only your life but somebody else’s too. Get your prescriptions you need throughout the day like inhalers, anti anxiety meds, lactose intolerance pills, Imodium, symethicone etc.

Pack some ginger gravol (or regular drowsy gravol) for motion sickness or for when the flu season hits

Benadryl pills (and your epipen if you have one!) this is one of those things you should always have lying around at home and in your car

Alcohol swabs and band aids of your choice. Most pharmacies will sell 100 swabs for around 3$, look in dollar stores for discreet 1st aids packs and band aids. Stash them in your little pouch, it might not be you who falls down a flight of stairs and needs to bandage up their elbow- but at least you can help. (Based on a true story!!!!)

Panty liners/ tampons/ pads- this is another one of those things that others may benefit from

Get yourself a mini deodorant (3$ at Walmart) and wrap your hair ties around it. Double trouble, double storage capacity!

Tylenol/Advil, hunt around for little plastic pill holders like Pill Pals, they’re not usually more than 2 or 3 bucks and they hold A TON of pills

Vagina Bonus Round: do you take birth control? Have a tube of Canesten/Monistat/Vagisil or whatever for when the yeast season is upon us

Remember to carry your hospital card and/or medical insurance card on you at all times

Pharmacies will give face wipes individually wrapped for free. Usually brands like Cetaphil will dump them off as testers for customers- ask your local pharmacy cashier for stuff like mini hand creams, spf lip balms and face wipes. We’re happy to give them to you and you’ll get some real use out of them!

ASS WIPES. GET SOME. You can wipe down your bag with them, wipe down tables with them, flush them, and do all kinds of damage control. Trust.

Emergency money- the medical bag is a great place to hide emergency money (think bus fare, or 5$ for emergency food) because people are unlikely to rob what looks like a 1st aid kit

3. Friends come and go but portable chargers are forever- you can find cheap key chain ones at dollar stores. If you’re going to spring for one that lasts a few days on one charge I suggest the OKZU from Amazon. It’s HELLA SLIM and I can hold a charge for about 3 days before it reaches even 75% battery capacity. (It’s also the most budget friendly I’ve found to date about 14$ after shipping).

4. Remember make up, gum, little travel items and perfume can have a place in your bag but I would suggest transferring as much as you can into smaller and smaller containers. A whole bottle of perfume is a lot to carry around, imagine a water bottle bouncing around your bag- that’s the kind of space you’re using up. Be mindful of just how many books/ copy books/ textbooks you’ll be toting around and if it gets to be too much- get an actual tote!

5. A little clip on hand sanitizer never hurt anybody...also Kleenex I promise you’ll use it. (And if you don’t I’ll be there to borrow it lmao) ALLERGY SEASON BONUS ROUND: a small bottle of off brand artificial tears are great to stow in your glasses case for all those shitty October mornings where your eyes refuse to act like eyes and not the Sahara Desert 🐫 off brand artificial tears run for between 2-4$ at most Walmarts!

3) I’ve used my last 24 hours to get my shit together- but I have a horrible impending sense of doom! What should I do?

Ah anozzer day in bikini bottom, which means another day of crippling anxiety for 25% of adult Canadian students! (Wow that’s a lot of students!) Boy do I know how tough it is to be thrown back into the pressure cooker of life that we call school. Here are some tips from me to you that I hope help a little bit:

I believe in you! It’s not a tip, but I want you to know that I do. If you’re feeling unsure/ silly/ out of your element/ etc think about me wandering around just as confused as you are! And have a good laugh at my expense! Shoot me a DM, scroll around my nonesense blog- wow check me out I’m a real living person and I made this post for you- because why? I care about your well being! Sometimes it just helps to know that there’s somebody out there thinking about you and wishing for your safe return home at the end of the day~ for the start of your semester I’ll be that person. *smooch*

Arrive early! My therapist once told me that rolling out of bed five minutes before I have to be somewhere limits my chances of having a calm and meaningful experience where I’m going. I hate to admit it but she makes a good point. Wake up early and do something nice for you: have breakfast, just sit on your balcony and breathe some fresh air, pet your cat and gaze upon their stupid face. Take the time.

Arrive early BONUS TIP: get to where you’re going an hour early and just wander! Window shop, roam the building, learn where the fire exit is, sit outside on a bench and watch the students come in and out. The longer you chill at school the homier it’ll feel, and the more you feel at home somewhere the more you feel at ease. Strike up random convos with strangers if you’re feeling brave, or text an understanding friend to meet you there and roam alongside you.

Plan your day! Get an agenda if it’s in your means, or just scribble on some scrap paper. Make your grocery list, write your tasks of the day, your goals of the day, or even just a positive affirmation. Sometimes even when I know exactly what I’m doing that day, or have something trivial to do (like laundry) I’ll write down “do laundry” to feel like I have a clear path to follow.

Embrace your local accessibility Center and school councellor. Don’t live in fear of the resources your school provides. It seems scary/embarrassing/weird to have to have special accommodations to deal with your anxiety or depression but GIRL once you’re all set with the appropriate tools there’s truely nothing that can stop you. This was my experience anyway, but I strongly urge everybody I meet to take advantage of school services and wring them for all they’ve got. They’re there for you boo!

HOT TIP: feeling dizzy and overwhelmed on the bus? Look at the wall or something that isn’t moving. DONT LOOK OUT THE WINDOWS AS THIS MAKES DIZZINESS WORSE. Breathe in 2 beats and out 3 beats- this cuts your fight or flight. If you’re going to drink take small sips out of a straw or without moving your head. My GP gave me this advice and it’s saved my whole ass quite a few times.

Download free apps that are anti anxiety in the form of fun games. I’ve had positive results with Viridii (where you grow a little succulent garden) Tap Tap Fish (basically you’re a sentient coral that decorates the sea floor) and Polytap (you basically count the vertices of spinning polygons). A cursory google search will reveal more fun games for emergency anxiety relief! I also like to go on YouTube and search for positive affirmation anxiety videos, or storm/white noise/ ocean anti anxiety sounds the night before to get me in the right headspace to sleep!

So this has been your lightning round/ crash course for what to do the 24 hours before school! I hope you feel a little more prepared to take on the start of the semester!

A dios hoes!!

[tellerford13]

MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 30

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us. We will be posting on our Tumblr where we’ll have fun pictures from time to time as well. http://tellerford13.tumblr.com We’ll also be taking requests for one shots, preferences or imagines for all things Sons at our other Tumblr, so check it out and send your thoughts!http://tellerford13oneshots.tumblr.com/ And just for fun, we’ve decided to start a Pinterest for the story! So if you want a glimpse at our girls and see into our world, check it out! https://www.pinterest.com/tellerford/

                                                 A/n: A reward for your patience and continued interest. #Surprisepost #roundrobin

                                           Mo Astor 30

Journee

“Scottie treating you alright?”

I glance over at Lee and toss her a look that screams really?

I sigh. “He’s not a Star Trek character Daddy. You know his name the same as I do. It’s too late to get cold feet now with your blessing.” I tap the chest tattoo, and he scowls.

“Being married is making you lippy. Now answer the question baby girl.”

“Chibs is awesome, like always.”

He narrows his gaze, and I look him in the eyes. He’s always been paranoid. It comes with the territory of being an S.A, but he’s also been in this life long enough to know how quickly things can go south for old ladies.

“If that ever changes...”

“I’ll let you know after I split his fucking head open myself,” I say determined to never be in the same position I was with Kyle again.

“That’s my baby girl. Now about baby Teller,” he says turning his intense gaze onto Lee.

“Wait. What? I’m not the married one.” “Doesn’t matter. You entered into a high-profile relationship. We all know what he’s capable of when it comes to women, but I’m assuming he's not stupid enough to break your heart.”

“Yeah Lee. How’s that coming along?” I ask batting my lashes as I take a healthy bite of the pork ribs cooked to falling off the bone perfection on the grill. It’s a Saturday, and the GB’s are having a family get together. Which looks a lot different from Charming because most of the men are bachelors.  The boys are going to try to join us later, but I’m not holding my breath. Club comes first, and they’re off doing one thing or another.

“It’s going well. We’re good. I mean it’s Jax. You’ve known him all his life.”

“Yeah, that’s the problem,” Dad mumbles.

I snicker. “Dad. Would I let my sister get played? No. I would’ve told her to pump the breaks before they even got started. They’re solid.”

“Lee?”

“We’re good.”

“Hmmm.” He sits back in his chair, and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. My Dad is not my Mom. He’ll pop me in the mouth quicker than I can say boo. He doesn’t take disrespect lightly, and I know better than to give any his way. It might seem harsh to some, but GB runs a tight ship. They’re smaller, so they have to. There aren’t too many predominately black M.C.’s who have as much sway as we do, or who’ve been around as long. We constantly have eyes on us. Which means maintaining our image is a must. It’s one of the things I hate most about this life. Women are accessories and ornaments. We have to look, talk, and behave a certain way depending on the set of people we’re around. Why people think biker chicks are dumb, I’ll never know. We have to be everything. The homemaker, caretaker, alibi giver, and a million other things all in one.

“I’m glad to see you two settle down. I was starting to think no man would ever tie either of you down.”

I take another bite of my food to keep my sharp tongue busy.

“We were just waiting for the right man,” Lee says.

“Someone mention me?” Kick asks appearing with a wide grin. I notice immediately he’s rocking our charter patch instead of a Nomad.

Oh, shit.  “You back with us now, K?”  I ask the question so Lee doesn’t have to.

“Yeah, Me and the road parted ways amicably. How you doing, Lee?”

“I’m good Kick,” Lee says softly.

“She’s dating Jackson Teller now,” Dad says. His eyes are sparkling as he watches Kick wince and the tension rushes in and settles over the picnic bench.

I cough to hide my laugh.  I don’t feel bad for the fucker. He did my girl dirty. I want him to realize how much he’s shit out of luck right now. You don’t decide to turn Nomad without so much as a warning and think your girlfriend is going to be okay with it.

“That right? You an Old Lady?” he asks.

Lee shakes her head no.

“Not yet anyways.” I add.

She elbows my side, and I give her a grease riddled kiss on the cheek.

“Gross.” She wipes it away, and we laugh.

“I’ll be seeing you,” Kick says giving her a lingering glance as he heads off.

“Never a dull day round here huh? When did that happen?” I ask gesturing toward Kick’s departing back.

“He got voted back in this morning. We need more bodies. Recruiting is slow going.”

“Because you’re so scary and picky,” I say.

He shrugs. “Takes a lot to wear the black and orange.” His chest swells with pride, and I can’t help the pride that wells up inside me. This is my family, and it’s good to hold court. Charming is a second home, but this will always be where my roots were first planted. I know Mom is giving us space so he can give us the third degree. They always did the good cop bad cop routine, unless I pissed my mom off. Then she could be every bit as terrifying as my father.

“Did we miss anything else major?”

“Nah. If you came around more, you’d know these things.”

“Touché old man, but I got a business to run, and she has one to keep afloat.”

“It’s true,” Lee says in a sing-song voice.

He grins, and I roll me eyes. I never knew a man so proud of his daughter doing tattoos.

“I know. We got an area set up for you in the clubhouse. You’re going to go home with a nice chunk of change.”

“I’ll never say no to the green. I guess I best fortify myself with lunch.”

“I’ll play Girl Friday and keep you stocked up,” Lee says.

“Thanks, wifey,” I say with a wink.

“Here comes your mother.”

Oh, imagine that. She must know you’re doing asking us a million questions and giving us the glare of doom. My mom is an undercover hoverer. I imagine I’ll be the same way with Filip. You don’t want to make them look weak, but you worry, and you watch and wait always prepared to ruffle feathers. As my mother would say, some things need a women’s touch. I bet they have some sort of tell, so she knows when it’s cool to come over. I should talk to Filip about that.

“There are my girls.” My mom envelopes me, hugging me against her ample bosom. The scent of her perfume reaches me, and I relish it. I don’t see them as often as I used to. I need to remedy that. They won’t be around forever, and life expectancy and freedom can be fleeting in our life. I’ll never forget the four years she spent behind bars. With my father’s job, there was no way I could be left alone at thirteen to fend for myself. His family had written them off, and my mother’s family continuously tried to get her out of the life. Sending me to live with them would only lead to disaster. Thank God, Gemma stepped up and took me.

It was a good business move, but it was also a huge show of trust. My father respected the hell of JT. He could never predict everything that would follow. The thought of his death still makes my stomach ache.  I watch as Mom moves on to her bonus baby. She’d taken up the mantle of caring and guiding her along with Gemma as her Gram aged. It made us more than just best friends, perhaps that’s why we turned to each other sexually. What started off as experimenting turned into something else entirely.

I shift in my seat as desire pools in my belly, and thoughts of her creamy breasts and clean shaven pussy slip into my head. It's been too long since we had some girl time. I’d have to remedy that tonight. Can’t let my wifey fell neglected.

Mom moves to sit beside Dad, and we play catch up as we continue to eat. I enjoy the sun and conversation. I’m also secretly enjoying the kick in the pants Kick will give big brother. As soon as I get a chance, I’ll be texting him. I know the business he has is a gun run. It’s not hard to figure out. Barring a problem, they should be free, and this will be sure to get him here.

Half an hour later, I’m set up and watching a line form as I declare my makeshift tattoo station ready. It’s going to be a long afternoon.

***

My hands and back are screaming as I wipe the back tattoo of the GB grim reaper.

“Alright, Mack. You’re all done.”

We’d been working on this bad boy in two to three-hour sessions, and it’s finally complete. I roll back and grin.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, brother, Go look at it.”

I nod toward the full-length mirror we’ve leaned against the wall. I roll my shoulders and crack my neck before I take in my surroundings. I spot Lee at the bar looking disinterested in whatever Kick is saying to her.

“This is amazing,” Mack says.

I admire the Reaper with it’s flickering flame eyes, and it’s skeletal fist raised with the GB emblem worked into the robe.

“Thanks, man.”

He walks over, and my jaw drops when he gives me a thousand even.”

“That’s too much.”

“Nah, you earned every penny of that tip, baby girl.”

I beam. “Thanks.” I quickly shut down shop, and move to rescue Lee.

I walk up behind her, plaster my body to hers and wrap an arm around her waist. I lean over her shoulder and smirk.  “She’s not interested, and I’m not willing to share my bestie any longer. So shoo.”

He scowls.

“Bye, Kick,” Lee says. I kiss the corner of her mouth, and his eyebrows raise.

“Shit’s changed,” I say lowering my voice an octave and curl my upper lip. I know Lee has no feelings for him, but just the same, I’m not about to let him get any ideas. My brother has enough to worry about.

He raises his hands in the universal sign of surrender. “Aight, I know when I’m not wanted.”

Lee tilts her head back and bats her eyelashes. “My hero.”

“How long was he here bothering you?”

“About fifteen minutes. I made it clear I wasn’t interested, but he kept rattling on and spitting weak game. I was going to shut him down painfully after I finished my beer.”

“You’re so tempting. I can see why he couldn’t help but try.”

“Is that possession I see?” she whispers.

“Only people you belong to have names that start with J.” I fight the urge to nip her bottom lip. “We should go to our room and unwind.

We have our own room complete with a dresser with spare clothes, and two queen-sized beds in the clubhouse left over from the teen years when I was shuttled to and fro for visits and later living between to clubs.

“Unwind? Is that what we’re calling it?”

“I want to show you what Daddy’s taught me,” I whisper. The thought of dominating her has me wet and ready to play.

Her eyes darken, and her breath hitches. “Has baby girl grown up?”

“Why don’t you come find out?”

She drains her beer, and I laugh as she stands, and we head to our room.

Once we’re inside, I press her against the door and lock it. Her pulse jumps into her throat, and her eyes are half-lidded.

“Someone’s excited.”

“I’m eager to sample these lesson’s Chibs has been giving you first-hand.”

I bury my fingers in the dark silk of her hair. “Remember you asked for this,” I whisper against her lips.

She moans, and I fist her hair and yank slightly and guide her over to the bed.  “Bend over, and lift that skirt. I want to see the one thing Kick will never have again.”

I give her enough slack to wiggle up the skirt and reveal the lacy black underwear.

“Look at that ass.” I trail my nails over her silk covered apple bottom. I release my hold on her hair and deliver a slap. She gasps. I bend down, grip the material with my teeth, and move them to her ankles. I leave them on, liking the restricted movement. “I wanted to do this in the bar,” I whisper as I ease her legs apart. “Eat this pretty pussy out in front of him.”

“Oh, God.”

“Would you have liked that?”

“Yes.”

“Naughty.” I grip her thighs and lean into sample her slick center. I moan as her creamy sweetness coats my tongue. I lose myself in the smooth flesh and flavor as I explore everything but the quivering needy clit protruding. I ignore the pretty pink pearl, sucking her lips into my mouth. She wiggles and I smirk against her skin. She’s used to ordering me. The tension in her body gets me high. The weariness from work is forgotten.  I pull back.

“No.”

I slap her pussy, and she jerks and cries out.

“You’re not in control right now, pretty girl.” I palm her warmth, and she grinds against me. “Be still.” She grunts but complies. “Good girl,” I purr. I remove my hand and thrust two fingers deep.

“Oh, shit.” I smile as I give it to her fast and deep, angling, so I hit her sweet spot. She loves to stretch things out, but I’m in control, and I want to see her come undone.

“Journee,” She cries.

“Love it when you call my name, baby.” I bend and bite the area between her neck and her shoulder. Her slick walls clench around me as she yields trembling as she comes.

“No one can make you come faster. I think I need to give my brother some pointers. Would you like that?”

Her entire body shudders, and I grin. Tonight might be more interesting than I thought.  

[butchstolemysweetroll]

Tagged by @saxrohmerwon ages ago on my brief other blog and just noticed it, thanks bruh ily <3

Rules:  Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, then write 10 questions of your own, and tag some friends!

1. Favorite city (or town/small island/et cetera) in the world and why?

I guess it’d be Avalon. I basically spent every summer of my life there with family and it’s really small (only seven miles long) so you wind up going to the same few ice cream places or antique stores or pizza shops all the time but you never really get bored of it. The whole place has a quiet, old-timey shore town nostalgia to it too that’s super sweet. And like some of my all time favorite memories were staying on the beach until sunset when the lifeguards were gone so we could swim wherever we wanted, or climbing on the outfall pipe and walking to see how far out I was brave enough to go (it got “higher” ((read: the sand started to disappear)) the further out over the water you went), or walking on the beach at night. That was my favorite part, the nighttime. It’s weird how quiet but how alive everything got after dark, and I could hunt for ghost crabs or watch fireworks and the lights from town on the water, and the sand never bothered me as much when it was cool from the dark.

2. Describe your favorite scent/s.

Autumn, if that counts as a smell. But the combined scent of really brisk air and smoky burning leaves and fresh damp ones and hay and I guess plant life generally decaying, but in a sweet way? I also like flower smells obviously, and food smells, but those are boring to talk about. Gasoline, the specific kind of fake (cotton) paper money is printed on. Coffee. I’ve learned to kind of like the smell of cigarettes on clothes, because my boyfriend smokes and I like waking up in the sweater I wore the night before with that smell still on it. People have smells too. Like my mom smells like perfume even when she isn’t wearing any, and it’s nice. And babies smell rad and trigger ALL of my maternal impulses (cannot wait to reproduce, it’s gonna be gr8). And the boy smells really nice... Not even in like a what-deodorant-are-you-wearing kind of way but like skin and sweat and waking up warm in a cold house on Wednesday mornings. And when he comes home from work smelling like fresh cut grass and wet dirt it’s v nice.

3. Who is/was your favorite teacher and why?

My Romantic Lit professor currently, because he teaches exactly what I want to teach and I have a career crush on him. He’s also just super excitable and enthusiastic (let’s talk about that WEIRD weekend in Geneva the Shelleys took guys! Blake was an EDGELORD!) which I love.

I also had a professor at my old school who was super cool and helped me through a lot of shit? I took her personal essay class right as I was sort of in recovery for depression following a terrible, low key emotionally unhealthy (abusive? I still don’t know if I can use that word? Either way, OVER-SHARING YAY) romantic relationship and I explored that and a lot of other stuff pertaining to my childhood and relationships and discovering my queerness in my work for her class, and she was super supportive and involved in helping me experiment with new formats and really use writing as a therapeutic tool and it helped me heal a lot. She was also just a super cool lady (lots of tattoos and wispy blonde hair and a quiet voice, kind of a hipster fairy) who hung out with me at a local music festival in town when I was like fresh out of the hospital and having trouble being around my normal friends. She just always made sure her door was open and went out of her way to make me feel better, and to this day I appreciate that.

4. What is your favorite poem?  (Substitute with “song” if you don’t have a favorite poem.)

Oh my GOD, don’t make me choose. I’m obsessed with the Romantics and a few contemporaries have my heart, but I guess I’d have to say “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” by Robert Frost. It’s just beautiful and hopeful and simple enough that tiny me could fall in love with it and appreciate it almost in its fullness when I was too young to grasp other works.

5. Weirdest thing you’ve ever heard out-of-context?

Ever? I don’t tend to remember stuff like that for a long time unless I’d like hypothetically overheard a murder or something, but last night some girl was walking back from our student center with her friends and angrily shouted that she wanted to “put her dong through a snare drum” which made me laugh.

6. Best concert experience?  (If you have never been to a concert, what do you hope your first concert will be?)

Still gotta say Green Day after just turning 15 years old. I’d never been to a concert before and they were my favorite band at the time. I was so proud to be there because I had 0 dollars to my name and no one would hire me because I was underage, so I had to earn every penny for those tickets doing gross menial work like removing and scrubbing window frames that hadn’t seen soap in maybe a decade (SO MANY SPIDERS), and teeny bopper me thought that was 'punk.’ And at one point Billie Joe Armstrong, who my pathetic little emo self wanted to MARRY told the audience he was proud of everyone who’d worked their ass off to afford to come see them play and I remember turning to my dad and screaming “HE MEANS ME!” It was so wholesome.

7. Favorite holiday (or other special occasion) and why?

Christmas! My house was THE Christmas house growing up. My parents put so much effort into it and it was the cutest thing. Besides the outrageous amount of decorations and the amazing food that takes all week to make and the cute tradition of having my grandparents spend the night to watch us open presents first thing in the morning, the best part of Christmas growing up was definitely the effort my family put into making us kids believe Santa was real for way longer than necessary. One year my uncle got a flashlight and a red solo up and climbed trees in our yard so we’d see “Rudolph’s nose” if we looked out the window. We put out reindeer food every year. My dad would stomp around shaking jingle bells and someone always climbed on the roof making noise, and my mom knew calligraphy, so she’d write us scrolls from Santa on legit parchment and toast it in the oven so it would curl. One year we had an old, old family friend who was a Santa impersonator show up with a legit sleigh and a giant book with all the family member’s names and the years they were naughty and nice in it and stories about why and it was so cute. So whereas most kids found out around like 8 my parents went to extreme lengths so that I believed it until I was like 11 and honestly, I’m really glad they did, because it was a kick ass childhood. I definitely want to be that level of extra when I become a parent.

8. Did you ever play an instrument growing up?  If so, how did it go for you?

Guitar, bass, after I learned guitar I could play pretty much anything pluckable with strings, so I had a Romanian lap harp (I was such a cool kid) and I would sometimes play my sister’s viola (often incorrectly and like a guitar, but it was fun to sample when I recorded stuff). I haven’t sang or touched an instrument in like seven years though. I kind of gave up after sad life stuff happened but I want to pick it back up again. I really miss music.

9. If you were given $100 today, what would you do with the money?

Use it toward Christmas presents for loved ones. Since I’m basically not allowed out of the house after I go home for break I have to do Christmas early with the friends and boyfriend.

10. What’s the scariest movie you have ever seen?  (Define scary however you like.)

I love scary movies so this is hard, but I guess anything in which children are genuinely evil? Like not even in a supernatural way; it’s not horror but watching We Need To Talk About Kevin fucked me up. I guess being a mom is like so much something that I want, and imagining that happening would def keep me up at night. Especially because I would not know what to do.

Now, for questions:

1. What’s your favorite article of clothing?

Dresses but also plain black leggings. And I have very soft sweatpants that fit just right.

2. Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal?

Nope. I can’t sleep with the live one either lol, Bynx likes to sleep RIGHT where I want to roll over and screams and puts his paws in my mouth when he wants attention.

3. Do you believe in heaven? Hell?

Both, Catholic.

4. Do you listen to podcasts? What are your favorite ones?

Not really, but I’d like to, in theory. It just seems like more effort somehow than watching TV and I am always tired.

5. What was your go-to game during recess?

Four square.

6. Where do you see yourself in the next ten years– not in a job interview kind of way, but actually?

Awwww this is cute to think about. I guess I’d like to be living in like a really woodland but not isolating place, somewhere where my house can be on a lake or by woods or mountains but if I drive ten minutes there’s a cozy-sized town with all I need. Maybe in like Virginia or Vermont. I’m a professor of Gothic Literature at the local college, and my students are engaged and inspiring and call me by my first name. I’m in a pretty and not-too-big house, but it’s warm and smells like our fireplace. I’m married to my lovely guy, and both our jobs are flexible enough that we can have dinner as a family and spend time with our brood of kids. And they pay well enough that we might not be wealthy but we never have to worry. The cat’s still with us and we’ve got a dog, too. We go on camping trips and The Lumberjack teaches the kids how to build fires and tie knots and dad stuff like that. One of the kids at least loves reading and the house is full of books - I’ve got a home office full of bookshelves and a reading nook. We’ve got a porch where we can bundle up and drink wine in the evening after the kids are in bed. We’re not rich but not poor, and our families get along and come to visit. My parents still ask us over for Christmas every year. Wherever I teach, my kids can go there for free.

7. Do you have a favorite visual artist? Who are they?

Oh lord, I don’t know. I mean I like art but I hate the process of liking art. It’s so much more involved than “I like how this piece makes me feel” and I don’t enjoy that. I like individual pieces and I don’t know enough about art to really speak on it.

I guess, though, I like Dali and Khalo as people. They seem unpretentious and fun. Which is surprising because I guess the way their work is talked about you’d think the opposite.

8. Do you really like a food that most people think is disgusting? Or, do you like a popular food to a disgusting degree?

Not really but like I put too much hot sauce / jalapenos on everything and it disgusts people. And I put way too much sugar in coffee, and creamer too.

9. What music did your parents play in the house/car?

My mom is a New Wave junkie like me and my dad had more complicated taste. He was never big into music, so he only really likes a few artists for their voices and some songs for nostalgia. So we listened to a lot of oldies and swing and Judy Garland, but he also loved Blondie and Boston.

10. What would you tell your 15-year-old self?

I’d tell her she’s a lot stronger than she’s going to think she is one day and to tough it out. That people love her and will love her. That when you get older, family is hard, but it’s worth it to work on things. That she’s smarter than she thinks she is and should try harder in school, because when she finally does have faith in herself, it’ll pay off. 

Tagging whoever else wants to do this - it’s cold and rainy (here at least) and we could all use a day of warm socks and procrastinating with asks, honestly.